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meltwonu · 4 years

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| caffeine | [chapter 1]

pairing; fratboy!wonwoo x female!reader

this chapter’s notes; some smut, mild degradation. (some art history bs cuz I, in actuality, am a nerd) can I get a yeehaw! we’re finally kickin’ this off~ this is mostly just the lead up with some mild touchin’ but you know how it is~ thank you all for being so patient! can't wait to get the next chapter out 💕

chapters; 1 - x - x - x - x

It’s 10:48am when Mingyu all but begs you to return his art history books on Dadaism back to the campus library. You give him 4 sentences to explain why you should be the one to do it; the tall male whining that he’s already late for his exam on Baroque art.

“Can you not be a bitch for 4 seconds, please? I’m literally begging you and I know for a fact you need to get books on that fuckin’ art and gender course so don’t play me like you’re not heading there anyway!” Mingyu shoves his books into your arms, adjusting the messenger bag on his shoulder.

“I swear after the rager on friday, I’ll take you out to get those mochi donuts on saturday, okay? I gotta go!”

He gives you no time to respond, jetting off to his already-late exam. You roll your eyes, adjusting the books in your arms as you begin the trek to the library. Mingyu was a friend that you’d met in your Intro to Photography class with Minghao, another mutual friend of yours. Both of them were no-doubt handsome and insanely educated when it came to art and art history but both of them were also part of the SVT House; one of the most notorious frat houses on Greek Row. They threw parties every other week, inviting the entire campus to show up if the cops didn’t show up first. Mingyu had invited you to a few in the past but you’d always decline; citing that you rather not be around when the cops showed up. You always wondered how Minghao dealt with being in a frat house knowing he typically hated loud parties and huge crowds of strangers.

When you finally get to the library, you struggle with the door, the damned books making it difficult for you to pull the handle open. A kind soul helps you out, a small ‘thank you’ leaving your lips before you make a beeline for the receptionist desk to return Mingyu’s books. Noticing a different male there than the usual librarian, you quirk a brow.

“Um, hello?” He spares you a glance, closing a few windows on the computer he was working on before he walks over to your side of the table. You take in his features; sharp eyes, silvery blue hair, wire frame glasses, pressed white shirt under an argyle printed sweater vest tucked into beige pressed chinos. He looked like a stereotypical version of what most people would think a librarian looked like but also had the features of a high class model. You were sure you’d seen him around, probably when you’d run into Mingyu or Minghao between classes.

“Yes, can I help you?” Fuck, you think, his voice is hot too. You can feel your body heating up just from his voice alone and you take a second to recover, stuttering as you set the books down on the counter.

“Y-yeah, um, I--uh, just wanted to return these books? That’s all.”

Cursing under your breath for stuttering, you miss the way his lips quirk up into a small smile.

“Sure, let me just scan these in.” You opt to just nod, saving yourself from any further fuck ups with talking as you watch him grab the scanner.

“Hmm, it says Mingyu borrowed these books. Can I ask why you’re returning these and not himself?”

“O-oh, we’re friends. He was late to his art exam and I needed to do some work here so… figured I’d just return them for him since he’s already suffering.” He laughs, sliding the books off the counter and placing them on the return cart for later.

“I don’t see why he didn’t just give them to me this morning but I guess the beer pong from last night must’ve been the reason for him being late.” You sigh, “I knew there’d be a stupid reason he’d be late for his exam. Anyway, thanks for helping me…?” You leave the question open ended, wanting to get his name before you disappeared to one of the empty study rooms. He smiles at you again, dusting off his hands on his neatly pressed pants.

“Hi, my name’s Wonwoo. I volunteer here at the campus library every day from 10am to about 2pm. If you need anything, just let me know!” He shakes your hand, eyes twinkling as he gives you a quick up and down from behind the receptionist desk. You give him your name; watching him as he whispers it under his breath, lips tilting up into a warm and inviting smile.

“It’s nice to meet you. I hope we’ll get along well.”

You hate the way the image of Wonwoo smiling at you is embedding into your eyelids while you try to work; the stupid essay sitting in front of you still blank even when you get up to look for materials on the course an hour and a half later. Checking the kiosk to find out where the said art and gender books were, you make your way through the bookshelves, not finding any of the books you were looking for. You contemplate for a second, wondering if you really want to go visit Wonwoo at the receptionist desk. Fuck it, you think, I’ll get my books and I swear I’ll finish this damn essay before I leave, it’s not just eye candy.

“Hey, Wonwoo?” He turns away from the return cart, adjusting his glasses as he walks over to you at the counter. “Yes, what can I do for you?”

“Um, I… it said the art and gender books were on the shelves but they weren’t, uh, there? Can you… check for me please?” He nods, sitting down at the computer while you recite the necessary info to him. Wonwoo jots down a few notes on a notepad, getting up and gesturing for you to follow him as he tears the sheet off.

“Sorry, I’m new here so we might get lost but I think they might’ve accidentally been shelved in the wrong section of the library.” He threads through different bookshelves, taking you deeper and deeper into the library until there’s hardly anyone around.

When he finally stops, you’re in a section of the library you don’t recognize, the emptiness mildly eerie as Wonwoo searches for the said books.

“Wanna give me a little snippet of what these books are about while we’re here?” He didn’t strike you as a small talk kind of person but you shrug behind him; you were already there, might as well.

“Um, it’s just, kind of how different genders consume and interpret the human form in art. Lots of it is old and outdated but it’s for an art course I’m taking right now. Y’kno, things like the ‘male gaze’ and stuff. I’m sure it’d bore you to death.” Wonwoo hums in acknowledgement, turning to face you as he slowly backs you up against the bookshelf. It takes you off guard as you hold your breath, eyes boring into the argyle print on his sweater vest.

“Interesting course you’re taking. I don’t think it’d bore me though, I’m quite enamoured with the female form.” You’re convinced if you breathed wrong, he’d feel it with how close he was. But he whispers a small ‘ah-hah’, his hand resting on the shelf next to your head as he pulls out a singular book. Wonwoo steps back, placing the book in your trembling hands.

“That’s one book, 3 more to find.”

He continues like that, his body in close proximity to yours the entire time you stand there, unsure of what to do. Wonwoo finds two more of your books, setting them on an empty shelf nearby as he checks his note for the last one. You mentally curse yourself for wearing a sundress to the library because you can feel the back of his hand grazing your thigh when he kneels on the floor next to you, hand placed on the shelf and eyes scanning for the damned book you don’t even care about anymore.

“Hmm, I can’t seem to find this last one. Weird. Maybe someone checked it out already and it got misscanned.”

“Oh, um, that’s fine, this should be g-good. I can check the shelf myself or something!”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind helping you out back here. I wouldn’t want you to do it alone, you know. Joshua should have already come in for his shift already anyway.” Wonwoo stands back up, his face close to your body as he towers above you. “Don’t you want my help? I don’t really offer it very often.” The suggestive tone in his voice has you clenching around nothing, already embarrassingly wet. You hope to a higher power that he can’t tell but something inside of you already knows that he’s aware of his affect on you.

“O-okay, please… please help me.”

You swear you’ll finish your essay.

Right after Wonwoo finishes getting you off.

He touches you underneath your dress, fingers pressed firmly against the wet patch on your panties as you bite your lip to keep in your moans.

“You’ve only met me today and you’re already this wet for me? You’re such an easy little thing. Do you get this turned on just for anyone or am I doing that much damage to you?” It’s a rhetorical question, but Wonwoo waits patiently; wanting to hear your reply anyway. Under any other circumstances, you’d probably punch a guy that called you easy, but for some reason the way Wonwoo says it has you getting even wetter.

“I, mmh, don’t normally… d-do this I swear.” He has you pressed against the bookshelf, a leg slotted in between yours as he braces his other hand next to your head. Wonwoo’s thumb presses hard against your clit, the fabric of your panties adding extra friction as you grind down onto his hand. “Oh? So I am just that special, huh? Lucky me, I’ve got such a cute girl cumming in the palm of my hand.” He chuckles at his own joke, glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose ever so slightly.

Your hands dig into the fabric of his sweater vest, wanting nothing more than to just cum so you can go back to working on your essay and simultaneously dying of embarrassment that you got that turned on from a guy you’d just met a couple hours ago and he made you cum in some back part of the library.

“Wonwoo, can you… touch me harder, I’m really close...” You whisper. He hums, his fingertips grazing the hem of your panties.

“Harder? Or would you want my fingers instead? I wonder how many of them you could take before you’re begging me to just fuck you?” The juxtaposition of his words and his gentle touch is enough to send you over the edge, biting your lip to keep in any sounds that threaten to escape. He lets you ride out your orgasm before his hand is slipping from underneath your dress and he’s pulling away. Your dress slides back down into place, not a hair on your head looking disheveled other than the fact your face is redder than a tomato.

Wonwoo adjusts his glasses, hands immediately smoothing down any wrinkles on his clothes after.

“My shift is almost up here and I need to get to my archeology class afterwards but if you’re ever curious about the male form, I’m a willing subject.”

#fratboy!wonwoo #wonwoo smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #wonwoo

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is0gild · 4 years

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Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 29

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 8,417

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

"What the everliving fuck, Lea?! Why the hell are you naked in our kitchen?!"

Riku's muffled shout had me jerking awake and shooting up in bed, my hand clutching the blanket.

"Er, heh… laundry day?"

Lea's response.

Both voices had come from the other side of my closed bedroom door. I heard a ruckus out there ensue - possibly the sounds of a chase? Wincing at the sunlight pouring in through my window, I glanced towards the clock on my nightstand. Ugh, we'd only gotten to sleep a few short hours ago.

...speaking of…

I lifted my blanket slightly away from me as I looked down at myself.

Yup.

Not a stitch on me.

Not sure what else I could've possibly expected.

My door suddenly burst open and I gasped, hugging my comforter to my chest once more as Lea came barreling in. Okay, at least he wasn't completely naked. He had one of my bed sheets wrapped around his waist. Thankfully. I don't think that my heart could have survived such a visual otherwise at this precise moment.

He leapt into bed with me, sniggering as he hid behind me. Or rather, tried to anyway. My frame was far too small to be concealing such a large man. "Mornin', gorgeous!" he chirped, planting a swift peck to my cheek.

Face heating and groggy brain still trying to catch up, I began, "I- Wha-"

"Why, Lea?! Just… why?!" Riku yelled from the other side of the door, which seemed to have hit a wall and bounced back to almost closing again. It was now just barely open a crack for us to clearly hear my annoyed roommate's voice through it.

"Was trynta scrounge something up for breakfast!" Lea called back. "El was hungry!"

...I was?

My stomach growled.

Oh. Apparently, yes. Yes I was.

...oh gosh, it hadn't been gurgling in my sleep, had it? How embarrassing.

Riku's voice snarled, "You couldn't have put some goddamn pants on first?!"

"It was an emergency! Hadta get some food in the woman, stat!"

There was a loud angry huff from the other side of the door. "Whatever, you just better not have sat on anything out here or I swear…"

It hadn't escaped my notice that Riku hadn't followed Lea in here. Perhaps the implications of Lea barging in first in his current state of undress had not been lost on him and so he was staying out there to preserve my modesty.

Rayne on the other hand…

My door banged open for a second time to reveal her suddenly standing in the threshold, a huge ear-to-ear grin splitting her face in two. "Oh my god, it finally happened!"

Rayne had no such compunctions.

She squealed before running further into the room, holding something up in one hand. "Ahh, I'm so excited! So, so happy for you guys! Oh dear lord, you have no idea how frustrating it's been watching the two of you just dancing around each other this whole time but not bloody doing a damn thing about it! It was driving me up the goddamn wall!" Turns out that thing in her grasp was her phone, or so I came to realize when she shoved it in my face, "But finally! The day we've all been hoping for is here at last! The day you've become," pause for dramatic effect,"...a woman! Halle-freakin-lujah! Do you have any words you'd like to commemorate this momentous event with?"

"Why the phone?" was my oh so moving speech as I scrunched up my face and put my hand to the device, pushing it away.

She beamed and shrugged. "I'm recording this."

"You're what?!" I blanched.

"Yup! To immortalize this historic occasion! Plus, I need video evidence cuz otherwise there is no way Anna will ever believe this. She's gonna flip her-" she suddenly gasped, free hand shooting forward to brush my hair back off my shoulder while getting in close with her phone again. "Holy Jesus H Christ, Lea, what the hell did you do to the woman's throat?!"

I jerked back from her touch, brow furrowing. "My...?" I brought my hand up to brush a finger to my neck. Huh. It was rather sore…

"Dude," she fixed me with a pointed look from the other side of her phone. "It's absolutely covered in hickeys."

"H-?!" I choked on the word, eyes widening and face an inferno.

"Seriously. That thing is more bruise than neck at this point." Rayne leaned in even further with her mobile, fascinated. "Would you lookit that? All the lil ones are coming together to form - dun, dun dun," her voice dropped to intone with deep reverence, "the Mother Hickey!"

I slapped a hand over the spot, trying to cover it up.

She snerked then cackled. "Oh, sweetie. Your hand would have to be the size of an extra large, double stuffed pizza to conceal that monster! Damn, Red, for real… that's a masterpiece!"

Lea gave a sheepish laugh beside me, fingers ruffling his wild bedhead hair. "Guess it is some o' my best work, huh?"

Squeaking, I burrowed into my blankets to hide from the rest of the world.

"Alright, no further comment, show's over now. Riku!" Lea gave a sudden shout. "Come corral your woman!"

I heard a slow creak from my door, then the sound of feet awkwardly shuffling in. "Sorry about-" There was a thud and Riku hissed, "Ow! ...about this, Elsa. I pr-" Whump. "Gah! Promise I'm not-" Bang. "Goddamn it! I'm not-"

"Oh for the love of…" A sigh from Rayne. "Riku! You can remove your hand from your eyes, you goob! She's hiding under the sheets."

"I think I'll keep my hand right where it is, thank you very much!" he grumbled back. He could be heard shambling about for a bit more, peppered here and there by him bumping and crashing into a few more things, before finally, "Ah-ha! There you are!"

"Ack! Riku!" The sounds of what could only be described as a kerfuffle followed. "Put me down, brat!"

"We'll, uh… go get breakfast going and give you two some… privacy," Riku grunted out. Pretty sure I could hear him now literally dragging his wife out of the room. How he managed that one-handed (as I could only assume the other was still being used to shield his eyes), I'll never know. Eventually, mercifully, I heard my door click shut.

Lea gave a soft snort. "So… wanna come out and show me your beautiful face?" he then coaxed gently.

Twitching slightly, I gripped harder at the fabric of the comforter - aka my sanctuary. "Hmm… mm-mm, no, I think I'm good in here, thanks."

There was a brief pause. Then, "Alright. Guess me and my beautiful face are just gonna have to come in there instead." The blankets abruptly lifted, but only just enough for Lea to scooch in next to me under them before tucking them back down around us once more. His shoulders hunched, sheet overhead smooshing his hair down as he shot me a grin. "Hi."

Oh gosh, it was bad enough that he'd been naked before. Now he was naked and close. Not that I could really see anything below the waist - he was still wrapped in sheet down there. Still, even though I couldn't see him in all his nude glory, didn't mean I wasn't one hundred and ten percent fully aware of it and that thought alone was enough to send the blood rushing to my face all over again.

Ugh, calm down, cheeks. You'd think after last night, there'd be nothing left to get so red over.

"Wanna talk about it?" he tipped his head to one side.

"Hm?" I hummed absently, dragging my eyes up to meet his. While the actual goods were currently out of sight, I was still finding just the sight of his bare chest rather, hrm… distracting.

He gave a small shrug, "Whatever it is that's bothering you."

I gnawed on my lower lip and glanced away, clutching the undersheet more tightly to my chest.

...last night had been…

...amazing…

...slow and tender at times, and… heated and passionate at others, as well as, er… how shall I put it... enlightening? Sure, let's go with that. But also, it'd been…

...confusing.

I mean, not in the moment itself, it hadn't been. But now…? Well, it was just… we hadn't really talked about anything beforehand. Frankly, we'd let hormones do all the talking. Hormones were a new experience for me. I'd never even had so much as an inkling of a single solitary hormone ever before and last night I'd been struck by a whole raging tsunami of the damn things. Who knew they could be so, er… persuasive. It'd been all too easy to get swept up in the torrent. But now that the storm had died down, now that morning was here and I could think more clearly, I…

Well, I didn't regret it. No, not one bit. But… I guess I just had questions. Like where did this leave Lea and me? I hadn't forgotten the little detail that he'd never really been the relationship type before, and I had no real solid reason to believe that that was about to change just for me. And what about his whole "no girls until graduation" rule? Just what had this been for him then? A temporary lapse in judgement? A moment of weakness? Yeesh, I didn't want to be one of those girls who got all, "What does this mean?" after they sleep with a guy, but…

You know what? No, there was nothing wrong with being one of those girls. Those girls were valid. Those girls had a right to know and so did I, damn it! I deserved to know if this had actually meant something to him or if I'd just been a… another notch on the headboard or… or if he'd just been sowing his wild oats or-

"Oh gosh, was I just an oat to you?!" I suddenly blurted out, snatching the comforter down off my head with a huff.

"Uh…" Lea fought with the blanket a bit himself before his top half broke free to join me out here, blinking at me owlishly. "...no?" he tried, his guyliner-smudged eyes squinting uncertainly.

Right. Good job, mouth. Way to make me sound like a total crackpot.

Inhaling deeply through my nose and then puffing out a slow breath, I gave it another go. "...was last night just a…" The blush returned as I struggled for the right words. "...a one night stand?"

His shoulders stiffened as his head rocked back. "What?! No. God no! El, I-" his hand was reaching for me, but it stopped just short of my arm. He frowned, pulling it back to instead rub over his mouth then drag along the nape of his neck with a sigh. "Shit, we're always doing things so backwards, aren't we? Kissing before we'd even so much as said our first hello to each other… Going steady before we'd even been on a single date… Now hopping into bed together before taking a minute to tell each other how we really…" he trailed off with another sigh, leaving the thought unfinished.

I remained silent, just looking down as I drew my blanketed knees up, hugging them to my chest.

Lea shifted around so he was instead facing me now, clasping his own sheet to keep it firmly wrapped around his waist. Pulling one knee up himself, he propped an elbow atop it as he bent forward to my eye-level. "Do you remember the story I told about how we met?"

My eyes blinked. "You mean the plot of Before Sunrise?"

Grinning softly now, he said, "If you'll recall, that movie starts on the train. But that's not where the story I told began."

A crease formed between my eyebrows. "No, it started with the lantern festival."

"That's right," he nodded. "...I was there, El. I was really there, same time as you."

My spine snapped straight as I inhaled, small and sharp. "You were?"

"Yup! Everything… seeing you there, the lanterns going up, even the bit about me faceplanting into a lamppost… all of it, and I do mean all of it, was true."

I gaped slightly before shaking my head slowly. "But… you said you'd never seen the lantern show."

"I haven't. Oh sure, I was there, but I was too busy watching you instead," he chuckled, tapping me on the nose.

There was a small flutter inside my ribcage. Still, I frowned. "But… but I was the one who said the city we met in was Corona."

He snorted, scratching a spot behind his ear, "Yeah, and I was floored when ya did. Thought for a sec that maybe you actually had noticed me at the festival. But nope, turned out to just be a lucky shot in the dark!" Lea laughed, then paused with a wistful smile. "...obviously in the real story, I didn't end up following you onto that train, but shit, you dunno how bad I wanted to. But I'd just sworn off girls to focus on college only the day before, and I didn't wanna be so weak as to go tossing that out the window less than twenty-four hours in." His lips then pursed to one side, eyes downcast. "In a way, maybe it was for the best. I don't think the time was right for either of us yet. I… wouldn't have been ready to be the person you needed me to be."

I didn't know what to say to that. Even if I did, I'm not sure if I would have been able to get any words out past the tightening in my throat. So instead, I just settled for reaching for his hand.

Flashing me a grin, he brought it up so he could press his lips lightly to my knuckles before going on, "But man, did I regret letting you get away without even so much as talking to you. Was kicking myself ever since, thinking I'd never see you again." His eyes crinkled as he leaned in closer now, "So imagine my shock 'bout a year later when I spot a very cute, very familiar new girl working the ice cream counter across the food court from me. It'd seemed fate had decided to give me a second chance with the divine creature from the lantern festival. I just hadta meet her."

One corner of my mouth tugged up, "What about your dating hiatus?"

"Hey now, I was just trying to get to know you! You were the one who kissed me first, remember?" his lips twisted into a smirk and I rolled my eyes, feeling heat creeping up the back of my neck. His gaze turned serious however. "...women have always kinda been a weakness for me. I'd practically made a career out of skirt chasing. Whenever it came down to making a choice between the ladies and getting my shit together, I picked ladies every time. But when I finally decided, and I mean really decided to buckle down, I cut that part of my life out completely. I thought it would be hard, but it actually really wasn't. Turns out they'd just been a bad habit I hadta kick. Having them around had been a distraction.

"But when it came to you…" his eyes softened as he reached for a lock of my hair to fiddle with. "The more I got to know you, it… The distraction was… not having you around. I couldn't concentrate on anything else… not school, not work... I was thinking about you all the time. Couldn't get you outta my head. Not for a damn second."

"Lea…" my hand came up of its own accord to brush along his cheek.

He covered it with his own, turning his head slightly to kiss my palm. "...you know with crushes, or love at first sight, or whatever the hell you wanna call it… they say you're not really falling for the person, but rather just the idea of them. That you're just building 'em up in your head, putting 'em on a pedestal… but that when you actually finally do get to know the person, it'll be a letdown. That they won't turn out to be who you wanted them to be." Pressing our foreheads together now, he nuzzled the tip of his nose to mine, "But you turned out to be so much better than I ever coulda imagined."

I scoffed, face burning as I muttered, "Sounds like someone's been watching too many of those cornball movies."

"I mean it, so shush, you," he chided, biting back a grin. Then he was shifting a little closer to me. "What I'm trying to tell ya is that you're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours, if you'll have me. I am all in."

My breath hitched as I stared into those stunning green eyes of his. I hesitated for a second, my thumb idly stroking along where he still had my hand clasped to his cheek. Then I bent forward, giving him a gentle kiss. "...I'm all in too."

"Yeah?" he murmured, grin twitching wider. "So how 'bout it then? Can I be your boyfriend for real this time?"

I hummed a soft laugh, nodding. "I'd like that very much."

"Good." Lea curled a finger under my chin, pressing his lips soundly to mine. Then he used his hold on my chin to carefully turn my head to one side, eyes half-lidded as he got a closer look at, er, heh… at the Mother Hickey. "Hmm, I really did do a number on this side of your neck, huh? Gotta a bit carried away." He planted a quick peck to the tender skin there, making it tingle pleasantly. Then he was sweeping my hair forward over that shoulder and turning my head the other way, tsking, "While this side," a kiss to said side, "is looking rather neglected. You're rather lopsided here and we can't have that, now can we?"

"No?" I breathed, shivering as I felt his lips graze over my skin, my hand drifting down to trail along his chest.

"Mm-mm. Why don't we see what we can do here to correct this oversight," he said, voice low as he began nibbling at my throat. I could feel him hooking a finger into where I had the blanket hugged to my torso, giving it a gentle tug and-

My door abruptly flew open for the third time. "Elsa! I need to talk to-" Anna - that's right, Anna - gasped from where she stood in the doorway now, slapping a hand over her eyes. Lea and I jerked apart, me clutching the comforter more fiercely to my body than ever. My sister parted her fingers for a peek, then snapped them back closed with a giggle. "Oo la la! You two really go the extra mile to sell this girlfriend-boyfriend act! You do remember calling the whole thing off yesterday though, right?"

Lea hung his head and sighed heavily while I scooted off the bed with an annoyed little growl. Keeping the blanket firmly wrapped around me like a misshapen, makeshift dress, I narrowed my eyes and marched over to her. "What are you doing here, Anna? Why didn't you just call?"

"Your phone's been-"

I snatched her hand down from where it was still covering her eyes, since I refused to hold a conversation with her while she looked so silly. She blinked a couple times before a tiny laugh bubbled out of her, "Oh hi!" I merely drooped my eyelids at her and she cleared her throat, expression hardening. "Your phone's been going straight to voicemail and this couldn't wait!"

That's right. My phone was still dead and I never got around to charging it last night. I'd been a little otherwise, ahem… preoccupied.

I pinched the bridge of my nose with an irritated huff. I didn't want to deal with this right now. Taking hold of Anna's shoulder, I spun her around and pushed her back towards my door, "Fine, then just... try calling me again later."

"What?! No, wait!" Her hands flew out to grab either side of the doorframe and she dug in her heels, bringing us both to a lurching stop. "Sis, I really, really need to talk to you!"

"Well I don't want to talk to you!" I snapped back, pressing my shoulder into her back and putting my full weight into trying to get her moving again. No dice. She wouldn't budge.

"Elsa, please!" she whirled around to face me once more, unleashing the full might of her devastating pout on me.

Fudge. I'd never been able to say no to those big, sad, puppy-dog eyes of hers.

I puffed out a small breath with a scowl. Then I grumbled, "Fine. Just give me a minute to get-"

Dressed.

That's the word I'd been about to say.

However, Anna's excited squeal cut me off and she grabbed my elbow, yanking me along with her as she ran out into the living room. I tried to resist, making a desperate grab for my doorknob but only succeeded in slamming the door shut behind me before it slipped free of my grip. Before I knew it, Hurricane Anna had plonked me down on one of the living room sofas with her flumping down beside me.

"Ugh, not you too," came Riku's groan from the kitchen.

Glancing over, I saw him standing next to a pan sizzling on a stove burner, one of his hands holding a large spatula while the other blurred up to clasp over his eyes. Rayne sniggered at him as she pulled something out of the fridge.

"Hey, I tried to change," I shot back before turning my accusatory gaze on my sister. She merely beamed and shrugged in response. Rolling my eyes, I primly adjusted my blanket-dress with as much dignity as I could muster to ensure I remained one hundred percent PG. My other hand went to my hair, which was still gathered forward over one shoulder, thankfully covering the Mother Hickey.

No need for Anna to spot that, thank you very much.

"Come on, hon, let's get you somewhere where you're free to see," Rayne snorted, relieving him of the spatula and taking his hand in hers so she could start guiding him towards their bedroom.

I shot Anna a dull stare now, waiting with a frown.

Her cue to begin.

"Alright, first of all, we're going to have to come back to that later," she waved a hand towards my bedroom door. "Because okay, wow!"

"I know, right?" Rayne chimed in with a laugh, not having quite reached her room yet. I fixed her with an unamused look and she winced. "Sorry," she whispered, returning all her focus on getting her temporarily blinded husband out of there.

Once they'd disappeared through their door, Anna sat up a little straighter, squared her shoulders, and tugged at her skirt, straightening out its wrinkles. Then she took a deep breath, "Right. Okay, where to begin… well, for starters, I did not - you hear me? Not," she reiterated, striking up a finger for emphasis, "suggest the whole you and Lea thing just to keep Mom and Dad from getting mad about the whole Hans and me thing."

I gave her a flat look, quirking a dubious eyebrow.

"I didn't! I swear I didn't! My actual reasons were threefold. Count 'em, three," she held up the matching number of fingers, wiggling them slightly. Then she ticked off the first one, "A, as I brought up yesterday, I figured having him backing you up would give you the courage to face Mom and Dad. B, I thought that big, scary, redheaded ox of a man would make Mom and Dad think twice before still trying to tell you what to do. Which, in hindsight, kinda backfired… but hey, was worth a shot at least, right?" she gave a nervous chuckle.

I did not laugh with her.

She cleared her throat and hastily pressed on, "And C, it was so obvious that you and Lea had the total friggin' mega hots for each other, so I thought I might play cupid and help that along a lil." Her eyes darted to my bedroom door again before she leaned in closer, waggling her eyebrows, "You're welcome, by the way."

Now I full on glowered at her.

Sense the tone, brat.

She gulped, pulling back again, eyes darting about as she fidgeted with her fingers. Then she huffed, "And fine, okay sure, did I realize you two playing lovebirds in front of Mom and Dad might keep some of the heat off of me and Hans? Yes, but that was more of a… an afterthought! Ya know, like… a nice lil perk on the side. Was it a perk I should have taken advantage of? No. Should I have figured out a different weekend to drop the Hans-bomb? Maybe. But-"

"Sorry, sorry!" Rayne suddenly popped back into the room, sneaking past us towards the kitchen. "Just don't want the bacon to burn. Pretend I'm not here."

Returning my attention to Anna, I saw her frowning, deep in thought and possibly trying to think up a different tactic here. Then she was opening her mouth again, "Look, Sis... he and I didn't mean for this to happen-"

I scoffed, "You said that already yesterday."

"No, let me finish! We didn't mean for it to happen, but it did and nothing can change that now. And you know what? I wouldn't want to change that. I am not sorry." I looked at her sharply and she swiftly amended, "I am sorry if it hurt you. So, so sorry, you have no idea! But I'm not sorry that it happened. You have to understand, he and I… Elsa, it's nothing like I've ever known before! It… it's like fireworks! It's amazing and magical and-"

"He who?" Rayne was suddenly next to us in the living room, making me jerk in surprise.

Jeez, I hadn't even heard her leave the kitchen!

Hand covering my rapid, startled heartbeat, I told her, "Hans. My ex."

"Oh…" the corners of her mouth turned down. Then a blink and a louder, "Oh!" Followed by her eyes narrowing on my sister with a disapproving, "Anna!"

"Fireworks, Ray-Ray! Fireworks!" she snapped back in her defense.

Shaking her head, Rayne directed my attention to what she was holding in her hands - a small bowl of mixed, sliced fruit. "To tide you over until the rest of the food is ready," she explained, depositing it onto the coffee table before making her way back over to the stove.

I stared blankly at the little snack, as if not quite sure what to do with it. Then my stomach gave another growl to remind me.

Oh yeah. That.

"The point," Anna steadfastly insisted, "is that we both know you didn't love him. But I-"

A derisive snort escaped me as I started poking through the fruit. "That is so not the point and you know it."

Her face pinched in annoyance and she spat out, "But I do!"

Snagging a grape, my brow furrowed. "...do what?"

"Love him!"

My eyes widened briefly, then I shot her a dull stare. "...you can't love a man you've just been dating a few weeks."

"And why not?" she glared at me as I popped the grape into my mouth. "You and Lea have been only pretending to date for a few weeks and you're in love with him!"

Cue choking on said grape.

Blasted things are hazardous to your health!

Face roasting as I banged a fist to my chest to dislodge the damn thing and let blessed oxygen back in again, I wheezed, "I'm not- We're not- I mean, it's just-"

"Oh please!" she rolled her eyes. "It's you, Elsa. You. You're the very definition of ice queen. You don't just go around having crazy wild monkey sex-"

"Oh my god, Anna!" I buried my face in my hands.

"Don't oh-my-god-Anna me! It's true! You don't! You never do this! So the only obvious conclusion is that you-"

I clamped a hand over her mouth, fixing her with a tiny scowl. Then I said calmly and evenly, "One, it is not the only conclusion. And two, this isn't about Lea and me. This is about you and Hans." I slowly started to lower my hand but when I saw her sucking in breath to go off once more, I quickly gagged her again. Then I shot her a warning look, silently demanding that she zip it. Her eyelids drooped and I took that as reluctant consent. Taking my hand back now, I looked to the bowl of fruit once more. Hm… maybe a banana slice? Yeah, that seemed less likely to murder me. Bending forward to reach for it, I went on, "Now I know you might think you two are in love, but-"

She abruptly gasped, "Holy friggin' cow, what's that?!"

Suppressing a groan at being interrupted, I grumbled, "What's what?"

"That! On your neck!" With a start, I realized some of my hair had slipped back behind me, no longer concealing the Mother Hickey. The monstrosity had broken loose to wreak its unholy havoc. Anna gaped in pure awe, "Damn, Sis, what was that boy trying to do to you? Draw blood, the friggin' vampire?"

"She liked it!" came Lea's voice suddenly as he exited my bedroom, shutting the door behind him with a smug grin.

Cheeks bursting into flames, I grabbed a raspberry to chuck at him for oversharing.

He caught it easily and sniggered. "Thanks, babe!" he chirped, tossing it up into the air before catching it in his mouth.

Then I looked at him. Really looked at him and came to a realization.

That jerk now had clothes on.

"Hey, no fair! How come he got to get dressed and I didn't?!" I snapped, hand balling more tightly into my blanket-dress in my continued effort to keep the thing together and in place.

Anna whined in frustration, "Sis, focus! We're talking about something important here!"

Says the girl who just got sidetracked by the Mother Hickey.

"Okay, maybe Hans and I haven't been dating for long," she began as out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Lea poking about the living room in various places, searching for something. "But just like you, I grew up with him. We've known each other all our lives. I know him, Elsa. Really, really know him." At last he seemed to spot it - his leather jacket, which he snatched up now from wherever he'd tossed it last night. He came over to me and draped it around my shoulders, ducking down to brush a peck to my temple as he did so. "Know him and… and care about him. I actually feel like this has been a long time coming, Sis. That he and I were just meant to be. It's the kind of stuff that cheesy romcom flicks are made of, what everyone's singing about in all those sappy songs. Ya know… true love."

"Come on, Anna," I sighed as I tugged Lea's jacket closer, grateful for the added bit of coverage. Thumb idly running up and down the metal teeth of the zipper, I muttered, "Thought you outgrew fairytales a long time ago."

"What's with the shit-eating grin?" I heard Rayne asking Lea as he moved to join her in the kitchen.

He shrugged, plopping down into one of the dining chairs, "You'd have one too if El had just agreed to be your girlfriend."

"Oof, point taken."

"Fairytale or no, I love him," Anna said, drawing my focus back to her. "And he loves me! And I'm sorry that we went about it in the way wrong way and hurt you in the process. I really, truly am! But what's done is done. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness so soon, but I'm asking… hoping, really, that you'll still give it… because I need you right now, Elsa."

She reached out for my hand, squeezing it as her face fell as she momentarily paused. Then, "I need my big sis. Hans' parents… they're furious about all this. They didn't want their son with the second Fryse daughter, they wanted you. They're blowing a friggin' gasket, which is making Mom and Dad blow their own stupid gaskets too. Which is whatever, fine, I can take it… but not if you're mad at me too." She sniffled, eyes downcast and bottom lip quivering. "...I could really use you in my corner right now, Sis. Please."

I frowned at her, eyebrows knitting together and not saying anything right away. Then, "...you two… really love each other?"

"Oh my god, so much," she gave a weak wobble of a laugh, fingers swiping at the corner of her eye. "I love him with all of my heart and I know he feels the same way about me too."

I inhaled and exhaled softly. Then I covered her hand with mine. "Fine. I forgive you. And I'm here for you, whatever you need."

"Really?!" Anna cried out. I nodded and she broke out into a huge grin, eyes welling up even further to the point where tears escaped. Then she was tackling me in a hug that knocked the wind out of me. "Oh thank you, thank you! You're the bestest, most amazing, most beautiful big sis ever!"

Who was I to stand in the way of love?

True love, no less. Apparently.

As she pulled away, she was now a blubbering mess and I had to stifle a snort. She'd always been such an endearingly ugly cryer. Jamming the heel of her palm to her nose in an attempt to dam the flow of snot, she asked, "Can I take a minute or two to clean myself up in your bathroom?"

I gestured a hand towards the restroom door and she got up, starting to make her way over to it. "Anna," I said abruptly and she stopped in her tracks, glancing back over her shoulder at me. I hesitated briefly, gnawing on my lower lip and almost losing my nerve. But then finally I began, "Would you… that is, later, would you maybe like to…" my lips clamped shut. Oh gosh, I was getting so awkward over such a silly little question. Taking a steadying breath, I then braved a tiny smile for her, "...do you want to make some scotcheroos?"

...would she even remember?

She blinked. "You mean… as in like when we were…?" Then it seemed to click and her face did this funny thing were it both lit up and brimmed over with even more tears. "Yes! Yes, I'd like that very much! I… Just gimme a sec, I'll be right back!" Then she hastily disappeared into the bathroom, clicking the door shut behind her.

I jolted in surprise as Lea suddenly one-hand vaulted himself over the back of the couch, quick to take the seat next to me that Anna had just vacated. He gave me a toothy grin as he slung an arm around my shoulders, tugging me closer to him.

...okay, this was going to take some getting used to.

A couple weeks of fake dating had in no way prepared me for the real thing.

However, as I felt him pressing his lips to the top of my head and nuzzling his nose into my hair as he did so, I relaxed a bit into his side.

I might... enjoy getting used to this.

Now if only everything else could be so simple. In particular, my family-

"Oh gosh, my family!" I suddenly stiffened.

"Hm?" his hand rubbed up and down my arm outside the jacket. "What about them?"

I groaned, "I just finished telling them yesterday that you and I weren't dating. Now we have to tell them that we are."

Lea squinted up at the ceiling, pursing his lips to the left. "...do we though?"

"Yes! I mean, maybe not right now, but eventually."

His free hand came up to scratch the tip of his nose, then he smiled down at me. "Hey, lookit the bright side though. Now we don't have to explain any of this craziness to the mall or tell 'em we broke up or anything like that."

I fixed him with a deadpan look. "Not helping."

"Doesn't it though?"

I narrowed my eyes up at him. Then I relented with a small huff, "...okay, maybe a little."

"Can I come out yet?" came Riku's rather pathetic call from his bedroom.

"Not yet, she's still naked!" Rayne shouted back as she used her spatula to shift the eggs frying in the pan. In response, Riku made an annoyed noise that was half growl, half moan.

Reaching for a blueberry now, I asked her over my shoulder, "Hey, were you two out all night?"

"Mm-hm!" she hummed back chipperly.

"They were just walking through the front door when they happened upon me in the kitchen in nothing but the bed sheet," Lea supplied, biting into a strawberry.

Glancing her way, I cocked my head. "Where were you guys?"

"Riku surprised me with a romantic weekend getaway!" Rayne beamed, opening the fridge back up. "Speaking of, I noticed as I was dropping my bag off in the bedroom this morning that our room seemed to be a bit, er… tossed about." She wrinkled her nose, "I seriously doubt it, but you two didn't… you know... in there, right?"

My cheeks flared up. "Oh god, no! That was, um…" I cleared my throat, my fingers fiddling with the zipper clasp on the leather jacket, "...Lea was just looking for, uh… for protection."

Rayne glanced at him, eyelids drooping. "And you weren't packing any of that already, stud?"

His fingers ruffled his hair with a chuckle, "Stopped carrying anything like that on me a year ago when I called it quits with the ladies. Didn't want any excuses to give into temptation."

"Ah," she shook her head, stepping back over to the frying pan. Then her shoulders tensed and her head snapped up as a thought suddenly seemed to strike her. "Heh… you, er… didn't happen to find the, uh…"

"Pumpkin spice flavored condoms?" I said dryly and she twitched. "Yes, we did. And Rayne? You have a problem."

I felt Lea's whole body rumble with a laugh, "Yeah seriously, Raindrop, what the actual fuck?"

Turning several shades of deeper and deeper red, her eyes flicked nervously about. "S-someone gave them to me as a gag gift, I swear!" Yeah, wasn't buying it. Didn't help that Lea had found the box already opened. "You, uh… you two didn't actually… use those, right?"

"Heh… needs must when the Devil drives!" Lea snerked as I facepalmed.

Rayne silently squirmed where she stood for an uncomfortable moment as she poked the spatula at the eggs some more. Then, "...let's never speak of this again."

"Agreed," I gave a single, firm nod. Then I was standing up, slipping out of Lea's jacket and leaving it behind on the couch as I started heading towards my bedroom. "And on that awkward note, I think I'll go put clothes on."

"Lemme help ya!" Lea grinned, hopping up to his feet behind me. However, he didn't get very far.

"Ah-ah!" Rayne was suddenly beside him, snagging him by the ear. He gave a pained hiss through grit teeth as she yanked on it, forcing him to hunch down to her height so she could glare at him. "Getting clothes on that girl is the absolute furthest thing from your mind, bucko."

He clasped a hand to his chest in mock offense. "You insult me, madame! I promise I had only the purest, most honorable of intentions!" She stared at him blankly before pinching his earlobe harder, forcing a tiny yelp out of him. "Okay fine, my intentions may of been hovering, teetering towards the slightly dishonorable."

She sighed, "Need I remind you that that room is a future baby nursery?"

"And oh if those walls could talk, the stories they would tell your future bouncing bundle of joy."

Rayne scoffed, dragging him by the ear back towards the kitchen with him grunting the whole way. Shoving him down into one of the dining chairs, she snapped, "Now sit your ass down here and if you even think about taking so much as one step closer to her bedroom door, I'm gonna neuter you with this thing," she poked him in the nose with her spatula. "Capisce, loverboy?"

He held his hands up in surrender, "Capisce!"

I'd almost made it to my room when my stomach gurgled again. I swiftly made a u-turn and went back for the bowl of fruit, picking it up and carrying it back with me. For the road! As I ate a kiwi slice, Riku called out again, "Now can I come out?"

"Almost, Hon! She's heading for her door now," Rayne yelled back as she started taking plates out of the overhead cupboard, still maintaining a wary eye on Lea the whole time.

"Finally!"

However, I was only halfway across the living room when abruptly there was loud, frantic banging on the front door, nearly making me drop the whole bowl.

Ugh, now what?

"Elsa! Are you in there?" called a voice from the other side. A voice that made me stop dead in my tracks and whip around, wide eyed and cheeks bulging with fruit. More thunderous knocking. "Please answer the door, I have to see you!"

That… sounded like…

"...Hans?" I squeaked after choking my food down.

What on earth was he doing here?!

Lea's whole body went rigid as he quickly looked from me to the source of the hammering. Both eyebrows shot up Rayne's forehead. Then she was turning off the stove burner and wiping her hands on her blue plaid shorts as she made her way over to the door. She unlocked it and opened it a crack, politely but cautiously asking, "Hi, can I help y-"

Hans was suddenly shoving his way inside, pushing past her and shouting, "Elsa, where are you? We have to-" His eyes landed on me and he froze. Then determination seared across his eyes and he was marching towards me, "Elsa, I need to talk to you!"

I'd been hearing that an awful lot this morning.

I blinked, taking a step back and shaking my head, "Hans, what are you-"

That's when he finished closing the distance between us, grabbed me by the shoulders and brought his lips crashing down onto me. This time, I did drop the bowl, sending mixed fruit tumbling everywhere across the carpet. Rayne and Lea gawked at us.

I- Wha- Th- Huh-

Just what...

...the actual hell...

...was up with this friggin' morning?!

I mean, come on! More had happened to me in the past thirty minutes than usually happens to me on any normal given week!

And all while I was still wearing nothing but a stupid bedsheet, for crying out loud!

It took a split second for the shock to wear off, then I was scrabbling to wedge my arms between us, shoving him away and furiously scrubbing my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Oh hell fucking no!" Lea was on his feet in a heartbeat, green eyes flashing dangerously and face twisted into a snarl.

However Rayne stopped him with a hand on his chest. "Cool your jets, Red, and shush!"

"But-" he spluttered, apparently too outraged for words. Instead he settled for gesturing both hands angrily towards Hans with a growling huff. Rayne just struck up a warning finger at him.

Fingers abusing the fabric of my comforter as I clutched it to me desperately now, I frowned, "Hans, what is this? Why are you here? How did you even know where I live?"

His brow furrowed and he stepped closer as I hastily took another step back. "I asked your parents and they had Gerda give me the address. But that's not what's important right now. What's important is I want you back!"

Um… excuse me?!

Riku's voice once more came calling from beyond his bedroom door, "What's going on out there? Who's here?"

"Shush!" Rayne snapped back, eyes wide and unblinking so as not to miss a single second of the little soap opera now unfolding in her living room. "Things. Just. Got. Interesting!"

"But-" Riku tried again.

"I said shush, damnit!"

I just stared at Hans, jaw hanging open in disbelief. "...I'm sorry, you what?"

I must've misheard. Yeah, that had to be. It'd be the only thing that'd make any sense and-

"I want you back."

Nope. Heard him right the first time.

"Elsa, sweetheart, we were good together, right? I mean, we weren't perfect, but what couple is? We had a nice thing going though, didn't we? We belong together," he was saying now, his words soft and soothing as he started to reach for me once more.

I swatted his hands away and walked past him, away from him. Unfortunately he moved to follow, pursuing me around the room. "Hans, did you forget I left you at the altar?"

"And I'm willing to look past that!" He grabbed my elbow, making me stop and face him once more. "If I can put that behind us, then you should be able to too. Think about it, sweetheart. Things could go back to the way they were with us. We were happy, weren't we? We made sense!"

"But I don't want to marry you!" I snapped, jerking my arm free of his grasp.

How was he not getting this? Just… how?

He brought up hands in a placating gesture, "And that's fine, we don't have to get married! Not right away, anyway! It was too soon and you weren't ready, I understand that now. Getting married is not the important part. What matters is that we're together. I still care about you and after yesterday, I know that you still care about me too."

"...after yesterday?" Huh? I glared down at my crossed arms, thoroughly confused now. "...what about yesterday gave you that idea?"

"That whole little speech you gave your parents," Hans stated, as if it were obvious. "I could tell how sad and full of regret you were. Regret over breaking things off with me." Uh… what now? "I could tell you wanted me back, that you went through this whole ruse to pretend like you were okay about the way things ended between us, but you really weren't." I wasn't? That was certainly news to me. "I know you're worried you could never earn my trust back, but it's okay, sweetheart. I forgive you." ...gee, thanks? "I want you back. I need you back." He was reaching for me again, this time for my hand, "Please, if we can just-"

I wrenched my hand back, "Why are you saying all of this? You've never talked like this before. Why are you-" I inhaled sharply, suddenly hit with a thought. "...this isn't you… this is your parents talking through you, isn't it? What'd they do? Threaten to cut you off? Oh Hans, you can't just let them-"

"This isn't about them or anything they may or may not have threatened me with!" Translation: yes. Yes it was. "This is about us! This is-" His words abruptly stopped as he blinked, eyeing me up and down. "...are you wearing nothing but a blanket right now?"

Was Mr Perceptive just now realizing this?

Also, kill me. Kill me now.

"And what did you do to your neck?" he squinted, brushing my hair back off my shoulder.

And the cursed Mother Hickey strikes again!

Swear to god, I was going to friggin' kill Lea for giving me the dumb thing!

Hans gave himself a shake, face hardening. "Doesn't matter! What matters is," he snatched up both my hands now, clasping them together between his, "I love you, Elsa!"

...what was this day even?! I mean, seriously! I had absolutely zero clue what was even happening anymore!

However, his words sent a shock of a reminder through my system and my eyes darted over to the bathroom door, which Hans currently had his back to. Still closed. Still with Anna in there. What with the whirlwind the past five minutes had been, I'd all but forgotten she was still here. Oh gosh, could she hear all this?

Licking my dry lips, my gaze returned to Hans and I weakly shook my head. "You… you don't mean that. What about you and Anna? I thought you two were-"

"A mistake," he said firmly, his grasp around my hands tightening. "That's what we were. A mistake. You have to understand, sweetheart, I was… was hurt. And weak. I did something I'm not proud of. But it meant nothing to me, understand? Absolutely nothing! It's you, Elsa. It's always been you. You're the only woman for me."

"But Hans, she loves you!" I argued, wrestling my hands free of his. I could see the bathroom door behind him slowly beginning to creak open now.

He gave a derisive snort. "No she doesn't! She's just naive and thinks she does. Trust me, Anna will be fine. She'll get over it. Anyway, forget about her. The only thing I want to talk about right now is you and me."

My sister stood in the doorway, expression unreadable as she just stared silently at Hans' back. Oh Anna. Poor dear, sweet Anna. She wasn't like me. She didn't know how to guard her heart and not let people in. She wore her emotions on her sleeve. This was going to break her. What would she even say? What would she even do? How-

"YOU BASTARD!" she suddenly roared, charging towards him.

He whirled around with a startled, "Anna? Wha-"

She bodyslammed into him hard, sending them both crashing to the ground where she then proceeded to start royally whaling on him and calling him every nasty word under the sun while I and the rest of the room's onlookers just watched blankly.

...huh.

Apparently, that's what she'd say and do.

Welp. Guess that answered that.

Author's Note: Oh gosh, this really WAS a lot to happen to Elsa in the space of… yeah, 30 minutes sounds about right xD All with only that infernal bed sheet to keep her modesty intact! I just have too much fun torturing my precious awkward penguin, it's all done out of love, I swear xD Anyhoo *throws confetti and blares trumpets* it's official, Lea and Elsa are a couple for REAL this time, huzzah! Did anyone guess that Lea had actually been at the lantern festival? I dropped hints throughout the story, but dunno, maybe they were too subtle… or too obvious and just no one said anything to me xD Anyhoo, not much left to go now, just a lil bit of wrap up!

Next time, how will things unfold from here on out for our newly minted couple? Will Elsa EVER actually get to put on clothes? Will Riku EVER get to leave his own bedroom ever again? Just HOW deep does Rayne's pumpkin spice addiction really go? Is the Mother Hickey ACTUALLY proof that Lea is secretly a vampire? Will Anna LITERALLY get away with murder by the time she's through with Hans? Sorry, running on empty with questions at this point, got nothing but silly ones left for ya'll xD Anyway, stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

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krokonoko · 4 years

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Lacho fake marriage AU outline

@sob-dylan after your messages I spent the entire day thinking about that Lalo/Nacho fake dating/marriage AU and while I can’t give this fandom the 30 chapter slow burn fanfic it deserves, I can give you my rundown of one!

Lalo’s an ambitionless spoilt little brat in his mid 40’s who always thought he could just coast through life, party and have a good time and fuck whoever he wants. Which was the case, until he screws up really bad and it’s revealed to everyone in no unclear details that he’s gay as the night is dark. He thought it wouldn’t be a big deal, that tio Hector would just turn a blind eye to it like he usually does. But this time, it’s different, and Lalo is running danger of getting disowned - in a best case scenario.

And that… actually hurts Lalo. Pissed and sulky that his own family, who he’d do everything for, is so ready to just throw him out over something as trivial as this, he actually starts developing some ambition. They wanna disown him? They won’t be able to, if he’s their boss. He’s gonna show them. He’s gonna show them all.

So he actually starts rivalling Hector’s son for position of Don Hector’s successor. (I’d say Hector never ended up in a wheelchair cuz he’d lend himself perfectly for an antagonistic power in the story.) There’s just one problem: Lalo’s got to be married for the job. Now he COULD just get himself a fake girlfriend - or he could piss everyone who spurned him off even more and get married to a guy. Now all he needs to do is find a man whom he trusts completely, who can handle himself in sticky situations, and who is ready to set foot into the lion’s den that is the Salamanca family and the cartel business.

What better candidate than dear Ignacio.

Nacho is of course not exactly enthusiastic about the proposal, and no promises of material wealth will change his mind. So Lalo strikes a deal with him. Complete immunity for Nacho and his dad, protection from within and outside of the Salamanca family, even after their business has concluded. Which it will, after Lalo has reached his goals, and then Nacho is free to go his merry way. Nacho agrees, under one more condition: Any physical affection happening between them is purely for show, and the moment they are in private, he will NOT let Lalo lay a single finger on him. He’s no hooker, and he will most definitely not become Lalo’s little plaything.

They shake hands on it, and before Nacho knows it, he’s in Mexico, at the Salamanca’s place, and the wedding preparations are already underway. Oh my god this would be my fav part because Nacho would be introduced to Lalo’s buddies, cuz you KNOW he’s got a huge circle of syccopha- I mean friends at home that he hangs out with all day. They laugh at all his jokes and they play poker with him and Lalo has missed them SO MUCHHH. Anyway, this would be. SUCH a good opportunity. To come up with some female Salamancas. Does Lalo have sisters? WHAT ABOUT LALO’S MOM. I WOULD FUCKING LOVE to read about Lalo’s mom. I bet she’s amazing, just as much of a spoilt little drama queen as he is, and Lalo is a TOTAL mommy’s boy, no one can convince me otherwise. (Maybe his dad has been out of the picture for a while, cuz I would really like to push this whole Hector-is-Lalo’s-father-figure angle.)

ANYWAY, back to Lalo and his mom. She’s a tough as nails lady, lofty and reserved, but overly protective of her son. They’re super close and affectionate with each other and it’s so weird for Nacho to see cause he thinks it’s the first time that he sees Lalo with someone that he seems to. Genuinely… CARE about?? Except for Hector, that is. But mamá is not a huge fan of Lalo getting married to Nacho, she can’t understand what the FUCK her son is doing there, she begs him to PLEASE stay under the radar with his caprices and tries to talk him out of it.

This in turn only goads on Lalo. He’s getting more and more tired of the way he’s being treated. It’s not that he actually has enough social awareness to deplore his family’s homophobia. For him, this is personal. He’s been a good boy, he’s loved his family and been loyal to them all his life, he’s kept his desires on the down low for all these years, now they’re turning on him because of one measly slip up?? He’s fed up, betrayed, and he’s gonna show them. And totally not win back their respect or anything, this is not what this is about at all, noooo~

There would of course be more Salamancas, most of them taking issue with the marriage, but I do absolutely adore the idea of overly supportive Tuco!! Just THINK about it, everyone greeting the newly married couple awkwardly or even with slight hostility, only Tuco barrels in like “YEEAHHH, where’s my favorite cousin?? You and my man here? You be good! Nacho, you’ll do good by Lalo, right? Riiiight!” And everyone grows more uncomfortable by the minute while Tuco can’t read a room for shit and he’s having SUCH a ball, he’s so PUMPED it’s not even funny.

There’d be all this tension between Nacho and the other Salamancas in the weeks after the wedding, it would be glorious.

And of course there’s the matter of Nacho and Lalo having to pretend they’re married for. Other reasons than a cold and calculated agreement. They don’t spend their entire day together, both taking care of various dealings. Nacho gets incorporated in the Salamanca’s business this side of the border and proves himself just as much of a reliable associate as he has been up North.

But whenever possible, they have to have dinner together, breakfast together, and sleep in the same bed. Fortunately, they’re both professional enough to arrange themselves with the situation quickly. Lalo is sometimes a bit flirty about it, but when Nacho makes clear that he doesn’t appreciate the come-ons, Lalo backs off.

Of course Lalo still reserves his right to fuck whoever he wants, just that he has to go back to being absolutely stealth about it. Only Nacho and his lovers know about it, and it’s not that Nacho disagrees with anything that’s happening, he’s not enough into Lalo to get jealous (yet), but this is starting to look a little bit weird to him, especially when he finds out that this is how it’s been for Lalo all his life.

Nacho doesn’t understand much about social awareness either, but he knows a repressed gay when he sees one. He gets all these insights into Lalo’s life, into how he grew up, and Nacho can’t help feeling at least the slightest bit of sympathy for how Lalo had to deny himself his entire life. Him being bi wasn’t always easy either, but at least he’s not a Salamanca! …Or at least, he didn’t use to be. Maybe Nacho talks about it to some of Lalo’s buddies, some of who maybe have even known Lalo since childhood, and who have seen him struggle with this all his life.

Just… UGH, this would be the perfect opportunity to explore just how much self-denial and internalized phobias have wreaked havoc in Lalo’s head! Because if you try to approach this from Lalo’s PoV, he’s not gonna see it at ALL. A river in Egypt, baby, that’s where Lalo is about this. He’s fine, he’s FINE, he’S F I N E, he didn’t have dreams about tio Hector shooting him in the face as a kid after that incident in the desert back when he was ten, no, he’s fine, HE’S FINE!!! But his buddies? They’re probably not the princes of social graces either, but they have EYES and maybe one or two of them give enough of a shit about Lalo to actually have noticed what’s going on, and it would be so good to have them reveal that knowledge to Nacho!

So while Nacho starts seeing Lalo in a slightly different light (we’re talking VERY slightly, repressed gay or not, he’s still a murderous sociopath), but still, there’s part of him that grows protective over Lalo. They spend a couple of months together, and Nacho is starting to settle. He only has one half of a bed instead of a whole one, but other than that, the tasks are much the same as they used to be, the goddamn luxury in which he’s suddenly living doesn’t hurt either, and it’s almost scary how easy it is to get used to all of this.

Lalo’s PDAs don’t bother him, and neither do the hostile stares. This is his role, and he’s gonna play it. There would be so much time and space for lots of power play between Nacho and Hector here, or Nacho and the other Salamancas, and it would be a thing of beauty. They live their lives under the ever watchful and suspicious eyes of Hector Salamanca, and Nacho and Lalo are starting to form an excellent team. No one can really do anything against them cuz their work is solid as all hell, and Nacho’s growing more confident by the minute.

There’s just one problem, and that’s the fact that Lalo behaving all respectful towards him and the casual kisses they sometimes share to keep up appearances are kinda starting to linger on Nacho’s mind. Lalo takes actions that show Nacho that he was being absolutely serious about protecting him as part of their deal, and Nacho can’t remember the last time someone protected him.

Nacho becomes a bit less strict about the no-body-contact-in-private policy, lets Lalo give him a massage when he’s all tense and returns the favor, and it’s not lost on him that Lalo does express some signs of attraction towards him, though he explains it away with Lalo just being. You know. Lalo.

There’s just one problem. It’s been forever since Nacho has seen Manuel, and Nacho really feels like he should check up on him. But he knows it’s against their agreement for him to just go back to New Mexico whenever he feels like it. So he offers a mutual breaching of their rules: Lalo lets Nacho go to New Mexico for a couple of days, and in return, Nacho will sleep with Lalo. This is of course an offer that Nacho makes while already climbing into Lalo’s lap, just to hasten the decision making.

But after letting Nacho squirm for a second, Lalo declines. He gently pushes Nacho away and says that tio Hector wouldn’t be happy at all if Nacho just ran off like that. Why don’t they just take a little vacation together? And Nacho is like: “A vacation. In New Mexico.” And Lalo is like “Yeah idk either we’re gonna be bored out of our damn minds!” And Nacho actually laughs. He’s not happy about having to take Lalo with him, but it’s better than nothing.

So they go to New Mexico together, which officially counts as a road trip and I am a very happy boy. There’s gonna be endless mariachi songs and Lalo singing along, fun for everyone! They rent a little vacation home in Abq for a couple days, and Nacho invites Manuel over for dinner. Nacho is super nervous beforehand, but Lalo talks him down, tells him about how his cooking will immediately convince Manuel that he’s got himself the perfect son in law, and Nacho almost appreciates the sentiment - if only it were that easy.

Lalo lets Manuel in, and the most awkward dinner of all time ensues. Lalo aggressively tries to make conversation while Manuel and Nacho eat their food in complete silence, the tension between them so thick you could cut it with a knife. After the main course, Lalo excuses himself to, idk, look after the dessert that he left out on the patio table to cool.

Finally, Nacho asks Manuel how the shop is, and Manuel is preeetty taciturn, just says yeah, it’s fine, and then Manuel opens his mouth and he’s just. So aghast at. Everything transpiring in front of him. Ignacio, what is going on here. You went to Mexico? Got married? To a man your dad’s never even seen? And half a year later you suddenly show up and wanna have dinner together?

And Nacho knows he is kidding himself if he thinks this is just magically gonna fix anything, but he just wanted to make sure his dad is okay. And concerning the man he married… well. He said who he is, right?

But Manuel’s like, he said his name was… Lalo?

And it finally dawns on Nacho that Manuel’s got no clue who he’s having dinner with. And Nacho just. Puts his face in his hands as if he could just hide, from this conversation, from his dad, from everything, and he murmurs: “Eduardo Salamanca.”

And his dad, he’s so deeply shocked, he just stares, and in that moment it really hits Nacho that through all these months of getting accustomed and settling in, through all the calculating and scheming that’s ruled his mindset day after day, he has forgotten who it is that he shares a bed with every night, even if it’s just symbolical.

“Salamanca”, he hears his dad repeat incredulously, and it’s like he’s seen this all before and he wants to say it, he wants to say that he’s doing all this just for his papá, but he can’t, and no matter what he does he won’t win his father’s love back, especially not with stunts like this, and when Manuel gets up to leave, Nacho can only follow him half-heartedly and watch him drive away into the night from the door, until his taillight vanishes in the dark.

Along comes Lalo, all chipper and acting completely clueless, like, what have I missed? Oh, your dad left so soon? What a shame, now he’s gonna miss dessert! But Nacho’s not listening, he’s leaving, getting his car keys, and Lalo… actually lets him.

Nacho just needs a couple of hours alone, driving through his hometown, and he’s lucky there’s so little traffic cuz he can barely see through the blur that’s suddenly befallen his vision, and he drives, and drives, past his old school, past Tampico Furniture, until it’s late in the night.

When he gets back, Lalo’s fallen asleep on the couch, and Nacho crawls on top of him, and starts kissing him, and he just doesn’t care, he needs this right now, he’s just desperate for something, anything.

Of course it doesn’t mean shit. It was just what Nacho needed, nothing more, nothing less. And when Lalo offers a little trip the next day, Nacho is glad to have something take his mind off of last night. Not that it was bad. Quiiite the opposite. He still has bite marks all over his neck and when he sees Lalo hop under the shower he notices the dark red streaks all the way down his back and uhm YES that is a THING that Nacho FEELS and MAYBE he just bit his lip at the sight but yeah. MAYBE he hit rock bottom yesterday night and then proceeded to have the most mindless, hottest sex of his entire life. Maybe. I just need Lalo and Nacho to be so sexually compatible in all the best and most horrible ways.

They take the trip back and somehow, with every mile away from Abq, Nacho’s dark thoughts dissipate a little bit more, as he returns into a world where he understands the problems, and he can handle them, and he’s in control, and he doesn’t owe anyone any explanations or emotional debts.

This is where all the dramatic shit could happen, like Nacho taking on harder jobs, going on a shootout with the twins, or Lalo getting back from a deal gone wrong, or them having to pull off some dangerous stunt together, and there’s bullets flying and blood and injuries and fretting over the other one’s life and pulling each other out of harm’s way and don’t you dare die on me we still haven’t reached our goal yet we’ve come so far godDAMNIT DON’T YOU DARE!

And when Nacho wakes up, bandages all over, he expects to be alone, but instead there’s Lalo, who’s fallen asleep by his bedside, and. It makes Nacho feel all sorts of things, but he’s not ready, not yet, to acknowledge this. Also he’s just seen Lalo shoot three guys while grinning like a maniac so that’s a thing.

Nacho’s in it for the long haul now, and he stays with Lalo through hardships and dangers. He eliminates every threat to Lalo effectively and efficiently and helps him on his rise to power. When someone schemes against Lalo, Nacho sniffs it out and saves him. When Hector or his son have plans to move against Lalo, Nacho’s there to thwart them.

In time, the violent lifestyle he’s exposed to affects him less and less outwardly, though it doesn’t stop leaving marks on his psyche. Days blend together, and Nacho alternates between a life of domesticity and that of a crime lord with ease now. And when he beats a guy that he was supposed to torture into revealing information into a bloody pulp because his mind has turned into scorching rage against absolutely everything and everyone, when he wrests the canister from Lalo’s hand, douses the entire house in gasoline and flicks the match in with a dark and merciless glint in his eyes, it only takes until they’re back by the car that Lalo shoves him on the backseat and kisses him so hard and deep it feels like he’s drowning, the smell of gasoline and ash still fresh on their skin.

Idk whether Hector dies of natural causes, or whether Gus swoops in as a final boss to take care of him, but after Lalo and Nacho have reached their goal, and they could end it, they find new aims, like taking down Don Eladio, taking down Gus, new excuses, just like Nacho has always found excuses not to run away from the Salamancas. Lalo and Nacho are both uprooted and looking for closure, through the years, they’ve grown closer than they ever anticipated, know each other better than anyone else.

And without realizing it, Nacho himself is slowly turning more and more into a true Salamanca.

#Lacho #Nacho Varga #Lalo Salamanca #Better Call Saul #BrBa BCS #my fanfiction #not exactly but I'm still gonna tag it #cw: canon typical violence

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kusunogatari · 4 years

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[ ObiRyū October | Day Twenty-Six | Good Ol’ Days ] [ @abyssaldespair ] [ Uchiha Obito, Suigin Ryū, Jiraiya, Hatake Kakashi ] [ Verse: Good Ol’ Days ] [ Vulgarity, alcohol ]

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“You wanted to see me?”

Exhaling from his pipe, Madara glances up to see one of his underlings lingering in the doorway to his office. “Yes. Fees are due in one of our new districts, I want to send you to collect.”

Immediately, Obito’s expression sours. “Me, on collection? But -?”

“Yes you, on collection,” his employer cuts in, giving him no time to complain as he reads a correspondence, chewing the stem of his pipe idly. “Everyone else is busy and you’re the closest thing I have to a collection officer. I’m not about to send one of those trigger-happy pups. You’re level headed enough to handle it.”

The younger Uchiha looks nearly ready to pout. “...what district is it?”

“Madison avenue to Thirty-Fourth.” Turning behind himself, Madara uses his pipe to point to the map of their territories he keeps as a kind of banner. “Here. It’s mostly businesses, not residential. It shouldn’t take you long.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Still clearly disgruntled, Obito nonetheless heads to the coatrack bearing his jacket and hat, muttering to himself as other members of the gang eye him with perked brows.

He’s used to it.

The brim of his bowler sits squarely atop the contraption over his missing eye, the whirling, steam-powered gizmo working to focus as his gaze shifts. And as always, it’s a bit of a struggle getting his coat on over the cogs and pistons of his false arm.

But every time he gets annoyed with them, he reminds himself he’s lucky to have them.

Stepping out to the curb beyond their headquarters building, Obito hails one of their drivers, giving directions and sitting back for the ride. He’s never been to this part of town, let alone since the Uchiha gang got ahold of it. Now they’ll be making further profits with their racketeering and protection fees for all of the business within the district. More work, but… more money.

The ever-present tradeoff.

When they arrive at the proper corner, he orders the driver to return in two hours and wait for him. Hopefully by then he can visit all the buildings within their new territory and collect the cash. As much as Obito sometimes enjoys getting to rough up anyone unable to pay, he really just wants to get this over with today. The sooner he’s done, the sooner he can get home and have a drink, enjoy the rest of his evening. Why Madara couldn’t have asked him this morning, he’ll never know.

His stops, to his surprise, go rather smoothly. It seems they’ve already been warned of the new management, business owners looking somber yet handing over the protection fees owed to the Uchiha mafia. Obito, rather used to it, just looks on boredly as citizens fork over their hard-earned wages.

But then he comes across the district’s most...interesting establishment.

A club. Specifically...a speakeasy.

Frowning lightly at the sign over the door, Obito nonetheless heads in. Business is business, after all. Making his way through the entry hall and passing a few patrons, he can hear the jazz music coming up from the belly of the club. Once through the entryway, he finds himself in the main room. Along the right hand wall, a beautiful bar of solid oak offers drinks, people seated atop the stools and conversing. Tables fill the belly of the space, the very middle kept open for those wanting to dance. The smell of cigar smoke, perfume, and spirits fill the air.

Toward the back, a live band plays: strings, brass, and drums come together to make a hopping tune that a line of dancers flare their skirts to, the crowd hooting and hollering as they move.

...where hell is he supposed to find the owner? It’s a madhouse in here!

He tries to maneuver around in search, eyepiece zooming onto potential faces as he slips in and out of crowds. But no one really looks the part...so he tries the bar.

Scrubbing a glass, a man with a rather similar eyepiece to his own gives him a curious glance. “What can I get you?”

“I need to speak to the owner,” Obito offers, glancing round a bit furtively. “He here?”

“I don’t believe so. He’s not around very often.”

Great. “Well it’s important. Business. His protection fee is due...and my employer isn’t a very patient man.”

Grey brows lift. “...I see. Lemme see if I can get him on the phone. Meanwhile...you might as well sit and get comfortable. How about a freebie on the house for all of your...hard work?”

Obito almost scoffs at the clear suck-up to the person here to enforce the protection fee. “Yeah. Sure. Just make sure you make it clear I don’t have a lot of time. I’ve got other places to be tonight. Otherwise I’ll have to arrange another meeting, and that won’t make me very happy.”

The silver-haired man just gives a nervous smile. “Sure, sure...have a seat, I’ll make the call, let you know.” With that, he pours Obito a shot of whiskey before heading to a nearby telephone.

Sighing, Obito accepts the peace offering and finds an empty table, knocking it back with a smack of his lips. Across the hall, the previous act is ending, the dancers disappearing through a curtain as an announcer steps up to the microphone.

“Wasn’t that just fabulous, ladies and gents? A beauty, every one of ‘em! But now, we’re gonna change our tune for a spell and bring you another lovely lady. Voice and face of an angel, folks. One of our most popular acts to step on this stage, I give you...Ryū!” The man ducks aside, gesturing to the stage as he exits.

Rather than out from behind a curtain, a platform lowers...and then rises back to the level of the stage. With it comes a woman and a microphone held within a stand.

She’s dressed in a silvery gown covered in sequins. Strands of colorless plastic jewels hang from the hem along her thighs, turning her into a sparkling, shifting specter. Add in the white waves of her hair and her pale skin, and she’s almost ethereal. Delicate hands hold the mic stand, head bowed and eyes closed.

A hush falls over the room.

Then with a rush, a jumping jazz tune kicks up from the band. Head lifting and eyes opening, Ryū gives the crowd a dazzling smile, hips swaying and catching even more light. All around her, it reflects in a million tiny specks of light.

Obito finds himself staring, jaw a bit slackened.

A few bars of music pass before she starts singing, tone smooth and sweet as she croons the jazzy number. Below on the floor, couples immediately get up and start dancing, the entire room energized and alive.

A minute passes before Obito shakes his head clear. With a crank of his eyepiece, he gets it to zoom in toward the stage, giving him a clearer view of the singer when his other eye closes. She shuffles around her microphone with shimmies and shakes, every move flooding the hall with light from the spotlight on her person. And her voice is full and lilting, perfectly bringing the number to life as it fills the entire hall.

He’s never seen anyone so enthralling.

For the whole of the song he just sits and watches through the lens, not noticing the passing time. It’s only once the music stops and the crowd starts clapping that he snaps out of it, opening his eye and clapping along.

Wow.

And then, a moment later, his otherwise-empty table finds itself occupied.

“So...you’re the dog Madara sent, are you?”

Taken aback (and mentally chastising himself for getting caught off guard), Obito turns to see a man that dwarfs even his own solid build. Tall, barrel-chest, and with a wild mane of snow-white hair, the club owner lights a cigar and gives it a few puffs. “Er...yes. Obito.”

“Normally I’d be pretty peeved at having my evening interrupted, but...well, I can never say now to this particular act.”

Obito blinks before looking back to the stage. A gear starts turning in his mind.

“So. Protection fees. Any shift in the price since our little neighborhood changed hands again? I’d hope the Uchiha are a bit more reasonable, but...I won’t hold my breath.”

“No change,” Obito assures him, tone a bit distracted. “Can’t speak for next month, but...for here and now, it’s the same.”

Nevertheless looking agitated, the man reaches into his back pocket and fetches a billfold, counting out the proper bills. “Y’know, I’d like a chance to meet the man himself. See if we can come to some kind of...agreement. Prohibition is making things a little dicey for me, now. But, if he wanted to lend me a hand getting things...moved, then we might be able to come to a more lucrative business arrangement.”

“...er…” Obito balks, not sure how to respond. “...I’ll...let him know you want to talk. Can’t make any guarantees, though. He’s a busy man. A bit reclusive. There’d have to be a lot of arranging before you could likely meet.”

“I’m patient. To a point. Talk to him, see what he says. Cuz I’m tired of cops breathing down my neck looking for booze. A little help in that department would make it easier for me to make money...and in turn, that boss of yours.”

Obito just gives an awkward nod.

Handing over the money, the owner breathes a plume of smoke, gaze turned fondly back to the stage. “...ah, my pride and joy. I don’t get away enough to come hear her sing…”

The gear snaps to a stop. “...she’s your daughter?”

“Mm. All I’ve got left after her mother passed. Her and this club, it’s all that keeps me going. Hence me wanting to keep the place afloat. I’d rather have her sing here than anywhere else. Never know what you’ll run into, otherwise.”

Obito’s awkward air only gets worse, realizing he was ogling the owner’s daughter. “...right.”

The man glances to him, and then offers a hand. “Jiraiya. And it was Obito, right?”

“Yeah.” He accepts the shake. “Not the best circumstances, but uh...pleasure.”

Jiraiya just snorts. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it, boy. You work for someone extorting me. Odds are he’s extorting you and the rest of his cronies, too. I’m not about to shoot the messenger, so you can ease up. You’re not the one wringing money out of my pocket. Not directly.”

Obito, suddenly feeling sheepish, doesn’t have a reply for that.

“...well, I’m going to go make a few phone calls,” Jiraiya then offers with a sigh. “Might as well get a little business done while I’m here. You just...do whatever it is you lackies do, I suppose. And don’t forget to ask old Madara about that meeting. We can have it here over drinks if he wants.”

“Er, right. I’ll let him know.” Watching Jiraiya retreat, Obito leans back in his seat with a sigh.

It’s true, the outlawing of alcohol has hit a lot of their businesses hard. Getting spirits to their bars and other establishments is getting harder and harder. Even if Madara doesn’t help Jiraiya specifically, they do need to address the change in the law and how it’s affecting their profits. They also rely on gambling and other crimes to bring in money, but alcohol is practically the backbone of their operations.

If there’s one thing people love to do, it’s drink.

A hand rubs at his chin, thinking. It would be smart of Madara to meet with this Jiraiya fellow. This club is clearly popular if the current turnout is anything to go by. Helping him keep and expand his clientele through the dry years would be wise.

But he also knows that the old Uchiha is a stubborn man, and getting him to leave his hovel and actually do business face to face would be...difficult. Maybe he can convince Madara, maybe he can’t. But he better try, either way.

In the meantime, however, he finds his attention drifting back to the stage. By now, Ryū has moved on to another song, this one just as lively and engaging as the last. She has such a charming face...add in her jovial expression, happy body language, and the purring tones of her voice, and Obito realizes he could very well let the rest of his evening slip away here if he wanted to.

...but he has a few other places to hit, and his driver will be waiting sooner or later. Besides, it sounds like he’ll be back eventually to try and arrange that meeting with Jiraiya. He can lurk around then.

The song ends, and the crowd actually seems to sadden as it’s announced that Ryū will be taking a break, appearing again later to let her vocal chords rest. She leaves the stage manually by the stairs this time, greeting guests with a warm smile as she works her way around toward the bar.

Which will take her right past Obito’s table.

He can’t help but stiffen, torn between hiding under the rim of his bowler and maybe trying to catch her eye. In the meantime, the band plays music alone without an act, even more people getting up to dance.

Maybe he should just bolt -!

“Oh!”

...too late.

Ryū pauses at his table, open curiosity on her face. Likely because of his replacement parts and his scars…

Giving her a momentary glance, Obito tries to smile, but...it probably comes off more as a grimace.

“You’ve got one of those eyepieces like Kakashi at the bar!” Rather than perturbed, she seems...excited! She takes the seat beside him, leaning in as Obito leans back. “Is it true you can use it like a telescope? How nifty would that be? Though…” She suddenly sobers, chin tucking toward her chest. “...I guess most people get them because of an injury, right…? I know that’s why Kakashi’s got one…”

“Er…” He tries to level his head, a bit taken aback (and flustered) at her sudden proximity. “Y-yeah, I lost the eye when I was a boy. I just got this a few months back. I’m...still getting used to it. But yeah, I can use it to see things far away. Not too far, but...to the stage, for example.” He just...conveniently leaves out he was watching her with it.

At his positive reaction, she brightens again. “Wow…! I mean...I’m sorry about your eye. But m’glad you got that gizmo to help! And...it looks like there’s something with your hand…?”

Obito gives a dry sound of humor. “Observant, aren’t you?”

At that, she turns sheepish. “Y...yeah. My father says it’s a good thing, but...sometimes I can’t help but feel nosy. Tell me to buzz off if you need to. Y’just don’t see this stuff up close too often! My ma was a doctor, so it sort of...fascinates me a bit.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm! She passed when I was little, so...I don’t remember much. But I still feel kinda drawn to this stuff.”

Obito eyes her for a moment. She’s so...uncensored, just spouting off whatever comes to mind. It’s a bit refreshing. “...yeah, I have a false hand. And, er...technically the whole arm to my shoulder. Makes putting anything on a real pain.”

Her eyes go round as dinner plates. “Oh, wow...I’d bet! A whole arm...I’m so sorry.”

“Not much I can do about it. And I’m lucky to have the parts I have. My uncle, uh...got them for me.” Technically not a lie, but...also not the whole truth.

Madara did get him the parts...but only to make him into a decent lackey. And he holds the debt over Obito’s head for his work. Work that is extremely illegal and in many cases harmful. But, well...humans have their vices. Someone might as well supply them.

“I see! Well m’glad you have them,” Ryū offers again, smiling once more and making Obito’s stomach feel...odd. “Say...you come here often?”

...oh. How to answer that…? “...er...no. This is my first time, but...I’ll probably be back. My employer, uh...works with yours…?” Also technically not true, but...how else to break that subject…?

Understanding seems to wipe her face clean for a moment. “...oh.”

Obito flinches.

“Well, it is what it is,” she sighs. “At least you’re nicer than the fella who used to come around before. I didn’t like him much...had this weird way about him. Gave me the heebie jeebies.”

Well, that’s...a better reaction than he was fearing.

Ryū sighs, blowing some of her fringe along her brow. “Well...I better go get some water before I head back on stage. But it was nice to meet you, uh…” Her face goes slack. “...oh! I never -? I’m Ryū! And uh...you were…?”

“Obito,” he replies, taking her offered hand and shaking it.

“Obito! Well...I guess I’ll see you around then, hm?” Giving a smile, she abandons her seat and approaches the bar, talking to the one called Kakashi.

Obito watches them, trying to be discreet. They seem...friendly. Ryū lends her arms atop the bar, one hip cocked and talking as Kakashi listens.

...are they…?

Realizing he’s delving into things he really shouldn’t, he gets up and heads toward the door. By now he has no idea how much time has passed, and he still has a few buildings to visit before he can head back. In his mind, he stews over the entire encounter: Jiraiya’s business offering, Ryū’s friendly curiosity.

...well, he’ll be back either way. Whether it be another collection, or trying to arrange this meeting Jiraiya wants.

He can puzzle things out then.

A few things: we’re into the prompts I got to make, which...I basically just took my idea list and made prompts around them xD And second, uh...I’m very behind. I just got burnt out and tired and busy, so...take all my excuses kjdfgjh Anywho, this is...meant to be Steampunk...? 1920′s Steampunk America. Cuz...I dunno, reasons. It’s just a random idea that’s been stuck in my head for months with no occasion to be written until now xD I’m not very knowledgeable in EITHER of those things, but...I tried lol Anyway, I...dunno if I’ll write more tonight or not. Either way I’m p sure I’ll be at least a day or two late finishing this ship month cuz I’m just...wiped, lol - but I WILL finish, either way! Thanks for reading~

#obiryū october #abyssaldespair #uchiha obito #suigin ryū #jiraiya #hatake kakashi #good ol' days [ au ]#vulgarity //#alcohol //

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yaachtynoboat711 · 6 years

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At First Glance Ch. 3: Keep the Family Close

A/N: Remember when I said in 2.2 that there’d be a 2.3? I lied. This is going to be the second to the last chapter of the At First Glance series. There will a few one-shots stemming, but no more chapters after Chapter 4. Can’t believe I’m almost done. Also, Yaa and Khalida are used interchangeably. Now with the formalities out of the way, this comes just in time for one of my favorite holidays, Thanksgiving!!! This particular chapter has been in my archives since forever ago lol. Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving with your family and friends, beautiful people!

Warning(s): Fluff, slight hints of angst, language, Yaa the Librarian has returned.

Translations: Marraine= Grandma (Creole);Rainy—>Parraine=grandpa (Creole); aibnatu=daughter (Arabic)

Word Count:

(Ch. 1)(Ch.2.1)(Ch. 2.2)

Tuesday, November 26, 2013, Darrow, Louisiana, 11:23 p.m.

Thanksgiving is a holiday of family, food, and the unofficial beginning of the holiday season. This was no different for the St. Pierre-Daniels family. Their first granddaughter, Yaa, was bringing her new boyfriend Winston down to Louisiana to meet the entire family. God rest his unsuspecting soul.

The couple’s flights arrived in New Orleans at around 8:30 that evening and getting the rental car took an unnecessary hour and an act of Congress, making their actual departure of New Orleans closer to 10. Their hour-long trip provided Yaa to give her boyfriend a recap on their past conversations of her family.

“One last time: Rainey expects you to help out on the ranch, Aunt Rhonda has a thing for Caribbean men and she’s been pushing my buttons since 2011, so that means we actually may fight. My cousins Dom, Erica, Whitney, Delonte, and I are the Turn Up Krewe, so don’t be surprised when we pass by the Quarter and we all turning up, and finally whatever you do, DO NOT, Winston Christopher, EVER refer to New Orleans as Nawlins, cuz that ain’t it, y’eardme?”, Yaa pleaded. Her New Orleans accent was dancing with her normal accent.

“Why not?”, Winston asked as he now had to keep himself from slipping up.

“Because, that’s not we pronounce it here. Some duckass clown from outta town more than likely and got even mo’ duckasses saying it.”

“Noted. I’m nervous, K.”.

“For what?”

“I mean, what if they don’t like me?”

“First of all, you’re the first boyfriend to actually make it to visiting the entire family...at the house. Second, Carrie wouldn’t have asked for you by name to come down. If Carrie wants to see you, she must want to get to know you, which is an honor. Thirdly, the family haze ain’t that bad. It may be worse for the fellas because, you know, the matriarchy, but you should be fine.”

“Wow, no pressure. That’s cool.”, Winston said sarcastically. Yaa took his large hands into her small ones and began rubbing them.

“Be yourself. It attracted me to you ,right? If it was good enough for me, it’s good enough for them loud ass folks I call my family, y’eardme?”

The remainder of the car ride was filled with laughter and some good ol’ NOLA Bounce music.

Finally, they turned onto a street where they were met with a massive mansion lit by lanterns. She’d alluded to the family home being a mansion, but Winston wasn’t prepared for the colossal antebellum structure before him. She rang the bell and was let in. After finding a good spot to park, Winston opened his girlfriend’s door and they got their luggage from the back seat. Winston rang the bell and a young, petite woman about Yaa’s age opened the door.

“May I help y--AAAAHHHHHHHH KEEDYYYYY! Y’ALL KEEDY HERE WITH HER MAN!” She ran and hugged Yaa. “WHITNEY, BITCH, WAZZAM?!”, Yaa asked now in her full accent. Winston looked visibly terrified as he walked into the house.

“Guess who decided to pass by Darrow for da holiday?”, Whitney announced into the living area as the three walked into the grand foyer. The family members in the house turned around and began to get up to greet their baby and her boyfriend.

“Keedy, cher, you look good! How’s our favorite lawyer doing? And who’s this nice chocolate King behind you? Is this the subject of Mama’s curiosity?”, her Aunt Rhonda inquired as she half-hugged her niece and made her way to Winston.

“I’m tired as hell from the flight and yes, this is Winston. Winston, this is my umi’s older sister, Rhonda. Aunt Rhonda, my boyfriend, Winston Duke.”

“Winston Duke? That has a little Caribbean weight to it, don’t you think? Where you from, dear?”

“I was raised in upstate New York, but I’m…” he switched into his accent “...originally from Tobago.” Yaa was shook and a little turned on. He knew what he was doing. Aunt Rhonda and Yaa were probably going to scrap by the end of the week.

“T&T, eh? Mama didn’t tell us you were from the Islands, Winston.”

“She didn’t tell yo thirsty ass, Ma!”, Delonte yelled from the next room. The entire room sans Aunt Rhonda erupted into laughter and the couple moved to the kitchen.

The kitchen was filled with the smells of cajun and pre-Thanksgiving cuisine, not to mention the aunts and uncles that prepared the feast were standing around the large island conversing. When Yaa and Winston came in, they all got up and hugged the two. So far, so good, the family was very receptive of Winston. He kept his accent, which was a bonus for originality. After the introductory conversation, Uncle Pat asked the all-important question, “So, Winston, I’m sure you’ve heard this question a million times, but how did you get the pleasure of meeting my niece?”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind telling everyone how my life how my life has been changed.” Yaa rolled her eyes and huffed in dramatic annoyance at her boyfriend’s cheesy answer. “ANYWAYS, we met at the Black Yale benefit a month ago... today actually. Her friend Tanisha introduced us, but we saw each other before the formal introduction. She looked like an angel in her costume and I, a total duckass.” Everyone stared at Winston for his proper usage of the term. “The moment I saw her, I knew she was special. It was like Heaven put an arrow over her head as the indication that she was the one. I almost didn’t go to the Benefit this year, but I’m glad I did.” The aunts awed as they realized their niece was in love with someone that was in love with her. Winston gripped Yaa by her waist and kissed her temple. She looked up at him with a side eye. “You’re pushing it,Duke.”, she whispered.

After saying hey to damn near everyone in the house, Yaa went looking for her parents. “Aunt Heather, where’s Deej and Mustapha?”, Yaa asked her aunt.

“You didn’t see them in the back dining room?”, her aunt replied.

“I haven’t been to the back yet. Is Carrie in the Room?”

“Yes. Matter of fact, I just went back there to tell her and Daddy you’re here. She’s ready when you are. Nice to meet you and welcome to the family, Winston.”

The couple traveled to the back dining parlor, aka the actual dining room where everyone ate. Sitting at the table where Yaa’s parents Khadijah and Mustapha, along with her twin sister Farrah,her boyfriend Avery, and their younger brother Jahlil. With parents’ backs to the door, a surprise was inevitable.

“Farrah, have you heard from Khali? It’s after midnight and I’m getting worried. I want to meet this young man she’s been talking about.”, Khadijah asked.

“I texted her a few moments ago, but you can definitely ask her.”, Farrah nodded her head in the direction of the doorway. When Khadijah turned around, she fell to ground, overcome with emotion. Mustapha shot up and hugged his first-born (Yaa was an hour older). “Babycakes!”, he exclaimed as he kissed the top of Yaa’s head. “Baba!”, she replied. Yaa was in heaven as she was in the embrace of her favorite man. Khadijah joined in the lovefest as they had not seen Yaa since after celebrating her passing the bar exam in late May. Jahlil cleared his throat to break up the lovefest. “Uh...Umi, Baba, we have someone here.”, his said pointing to an innocent looking Winston. The trio separated and Yaa stood proudly next to her man. “Family, I’d like for y’all to meet my boyfriend, Winston Duke. Winston, these are my parents, Drs. Khadijah and Mustapha Abdullah, my twin sister Farrah, her lame ass boyfriend Avery, and my ugly ass baby brother, Jahlil.”, Yaa announced. Winston nodded his head at everyone. Mustapha, who proudly stood at 6’5” as well, walked up to Winston with a sincere look in his eyes as he gave him a nice sturdy handshake, which led into a hug.

“So, Mr.Duke, man to man, what are your intentions with my aibnatu?”, Mustapha’s gaze fixed on Winston’s face. Though he didn’t know Arabic, Winston understood the context clear as day. He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts.

“No offense, Dr. Mustapha, but I intend to make Khalida happier than you have made Dr. Khadijah. I know it’s only been a month of us knowing each other, but this is the woman God intended for me to be with. Period. You and Dr. Khadijah have created and reared a woman of grace, class, and uniqueness. So, my intentions with your daughter is to make her the happiest woman this side of the Universe.”

The room went quiet. Mustapha and Khadijah looked at each other. Khadijah smiled and looked at Winston. “Well, son, I think I speak on behalf of the family that there is no offense taken. We teach our children to do and be better than us. I’m so elated that you’ve found happiness with Khali.”,Khadijah sat extending her arms to Winston to embrace him. “Mother is waiting for you all by the way. Go on and go to the Room.” “Yes ma’am.”, the young couple said in unison.

The two walked through a labyrinth of turns and secret doorways until they reached a red door at the end of a secret hallway beneath the back staircase. Yaa knocked on the door three times. A raspy yet kind voice answered, “It’s open, cher!”. Yaa opened the door, took her shoes off, and instructed Winston to do the same. The dark room was lit with massive candles surrounding the altar in a corner of the vast room. Relics, more candles and skulls littered the altar’s table. Carrie sat on her knees facing a much bigger altar that covered a majority of the wall. She turned around and extended her out to her granddaughter to help her up. “My first grandgirl! How was your trip down here?”, Carried asked.

“Long and tiring. It’s always the drive that gets me.”, Yaa replied. Carrie craned her neck up at Winston’s figure as she wrapped her arm around his waist. “Welcome to the family, my son. I’ve heard great things about you and I hope you the same with me. Please, have a seat.”

Carrie pulled three chairs into a triangle and re-adjusted her turban. “So, Winston, I’m sure you’re aware that I’ve been expecting you since you met my baby. I wanted to see for myself and see if you’re the one the Universe has ordained for her.” She took his massive hands into her small hands and looked into his soul. She held her hand to his heart and began shaking her head as if she was having a conversation with his heart. She smiled.

“It’s apparent that you love Khalida.”, Carrie began, “I mean, hell, she’s my joy and we have a strong soul tie. You two have a stronger soul tie than I’ve ever felt between two people than any of these knuckle-headed ass men that have married my babies. You two are without a doubt soulmates. However, your journey, like many, won’t be easy.”

Winston sat up in his seat. “What do you mean, Mother Carrie?”, he inquired with worry. His furrowed brow matched his tone.

“Well, you two are going to separate at some point. But don’t worry; you’ll get back together. The foundation of your friendship will and shall be constant. You’ll have to see each other happy with someone else to realize how much you mean to each other.I mean, I’m confident that you already do, but it’s easier said than done. But don’t worry; there will also be many more signs during your separation that will aid in your reunion. I’ve never seen anything like you two. This is nothing but the work of Oshun. I prayed that at least one of my babies would be blessed by Oshun and my prayers have once again been answered.”

Winston was visibly uneasy and overwhelmed by Carrie’s words. “But why separate? I don’t understand. We’re already long-distance as it is.”, Winston wondered.

“Because, my dear, you have to let go of the things you love the most to really understand their true value. Now, you two are tired I’m sure so go on to the room.”, Carrie instructed basically pushing them out of the Room.

When they returned to the remainder of the house, the living room was empty but the grandkids’ floor was jumping. With 21 grandkids, it’s only but so much turn up that can occur. The hallway was filled with muffled sounds of laughter, chatter, and music throughout the many rooms.

The hallway was filled with muffled sounds of laughter, chatter, and music throughout the many rooms. Because she was the first girl, Yaa was fortunate to have a room to herself at the very end of the hall. Winston looked in amazement at the beauty of the house as he toted their luggage to the end of the hall. “This room is..this whole house is...wow.”, Winston struggled to put into words everything he’d experienced since being at the house. From the vast columns that supported the house’s exterior to the smaller ones on the inside, the remodeled interior of the former plantation was indeed a wonder to behold.

Yaa’s room wasn’t as big as the other shared rooms, but it was definitely spacious enough. The dark hardwood floors and window treatments perfectly juxtaposed the off-white walls and neutral-toned furniture. Her room was the only room on the floor that kept with the modern farmhouse interior of the house.

By the time Winston got the bags in the room and got himself comfortable, his girlfriend emerged from the bathroom in her pajama shorts and her NFL ex-boyfriend’s Saints t-shirt. “Well don’t you look at peace”, Winston commented as he examined his girlfriend with a smirk on his face. She began playing music on her iPod dock and folding the comforter to the foot of the bed.

“Wins, I worked a half day, flew for hours, suffered through airport bullshit, and still had to drive to get here. I’m not snapping on you at all, it’s just a relief to finally take my fucking bra off. It’s waaay past time for me to do so.”, Yaa responded. There was a knock at the door. “Who is it?”, Yaa asked. “Bitch, it’s me.”, Erica responded semi-annoyed. Before Yaa could respond, the barn doors slid apart. Her cousins Delonte, Erica, and Whitney practically ran into her room and onto her tall bed just like old times. The trio climbed on the bed ever so awake, as though it wasn’t almost 2AM. “Where’s your man, girl?”, Delonte inquired. Yaa pointed to the bathroom door. Winston had the shower on. “Tay, I really wish you could’ve seen the look on yo momma’s face when Wins broke out in his accent.”, Whitney said holding back laughter. Delonte shook his head, “Bitch, I felt her thirst from the den. You ain’t gotta tell me shit.”, Delonte said in an embarrassed tone, “But enough about my wild ass Rhonda, let’s talk about how Ms. Khalida over here got her groove back. Looks like you got yourself a good one. ESPECIALLY if Marraine asked for him by name.” Yaa’s other cousins turned to her looking awaiting her response. Yaa threw a pillow at Delonte, “Shut the fuck up.” A beat. “Nah, but for real, he’s an amazing guy. He’s sweet,observant, cultured, funny, well-versed, intelligent, and just a good time overall. He done fucked around and softened a thug.”, Yaa failed to keep the grin she had from forming.

The three cousins looked at each other in disbelief. Their super hard, mean, and physical embodient of “Knuck if you buck” cousin was in love. Granted, she felt something for her previous boyfriends, but nothing came close to how Winston made her feel. She was glowing with joy and bliss. She was so enamored with her thoughts that she didn’t realize Winston and more cousins had come in her room. “Ooohhh, our lil triple OG for a cousin done caught feelings.”, her oldest cousin Daniel proclaimed,causing her other cousins to snickered. “Daniel, if you don’t get yo ugly, pea head ass out my goddamn room, nigga. I ain’t that soft. Get the fuck on!”, Yaa barked. Daniel swiftly did as his younger cousin told him.

Everyone conversed for another hour until Yaa kicked them out. Winston and Yaa were finally alone and cuddling each other to sleep. Yaa was almost there until Winston began striking up another conversation.

“Pumpkin?”, Winston called softly.

“Why aren’t you sleep?”, Yaa replied half-sleep and slightly irritated. Her back faced Winston’s face.

“Aren’t you worried about what your grandmother said this evening?”

Her eyes flew open. “I mean,yes and no.”

“Explain.”

“Nigga it is...3:54 in the goddamn morning and you asking me shit like it’s 4PM? This ain’t Oprah.” A beat and and drawn out sigh. “Look, I don’t think anyone wants to break up a great relationship. It concerns me like I’m sure it does you, but you gotta trust the process. Carrie and even her and my Rainy. However, unlike them…” she finally turned around gazing into Winston’s eyes, “...we had this detected early. I’d rather the plane’s malfunctions be detected before take-off and assessed on the ground than while we’re 10,000 plus feet in the air. But like she said, our bond as friends will help us along with other signs. I don’t want to let go either because I just got a hold to you.” They both snickered. “But I have to come to grips with the fact that this is going to help us. You gotta fight for who and what you believe in.”

Winston pondered on her words. He loved that she always knew what to say and how to say it.

“Well until you said it like that, I--”

“--You get it! Now goodnight.” She kissed his nose and placed his arms around her waist before she turned around and went to sleep.

Thanksgiving Day

“...and it is in this that we all say asé.”, Rainey prayed. The family responded back with scattered “asé’s” around the dining rooms. It was finally time to eat. After Rainey gave thanks to the ancestors through libations and prayer, everyone practically ran into the kitchen for the food. A handful of family members grabbed the various dishes and brought them to the main dining room.

The silence of the room was interrupted by the consistent and almost rhythmic clinking of silverware to the plates. Winston occasionally moaned in pleasure for his newfound love of Cajun-style fried turkey and fried catfish. The family laughed as their newest addition’s initiation was off to a great start.

Waiting to reach a reasonable pause, Rainey finally struck conversation. “Keedy, have you heard anything from your dissertation committee? It’s almost graduation time, you know?”, everyone at the table looked to Yaa for her answer,Winston included. “Yeah, babe. Who was that you were on the phone with on our way back from the orchard? Dr. Stoudemire,I think?”, Winston said coaxing her eyes to meet his.

She took a nice sip of wine and finally met his gaze. She crept one of her hands into both of his large,slender chocolate hands. You can do this, sis. She finally opened her mouth to speak, “Yeah. That was her and I’m sorry…”, her voice trailed off as she choked on her words, now softer than Janet Jackson in a confessional. The family looked to her to finish her sentence. “Pumpkin, what are you sorry for? Talk to me.”, Winston whispered.

“I-I’m sorry that...you all...uh...are gonna have to ask ‘which one?’ everytime you hear Dr. Abdullah because it’s now three of us at the table.”, Yaa said tried to contain her laughter. A natural-born actress. Despite the groans of those who were suckered into her act, almost everyone else celebrated the newest doctor at the table. Yaa hugged Winston’s neck as he whispered, “You play all day.”, into her ear.

“So that’s it? That’s all you had to say? So much for the surprise failure from Little Miss Perfect.”, Aunt Rhonda groaned. The table chatter quickly subsided as everyone else at the table looked at Aunt Rhonda, Yaa, and Carrie. Yaa’s aunts and uncles shook their heads as they knew Carrie, their niece, or a mix of two were about to cut the fuck up. “Ma, please don’t do this today...or ever. Just be happy for Keedy.”, Delonte pleaded. “Nah, fuck that. She always doin’ shit and never falling. Perfect life, perfect career, Hell, she even got the perfect man. Knowing her, he’s prolly not even really her boyfriend. How you go from that trash ass Quincy to Winston without missing a beat? What was the prayer,Dr. Keedy?”, Rhonda spat with such vitriol and sarcasm.

Yaa continued eating her shrimp etouffee and sipping the last of her wine as her aunt vented her frustrations at her. Yaa waited patiently for her to end.

“Well, Rhonda, since you want to act like a fucking child, I’m going to address as such. I’m human, so I’m not perfect, and you should have more common sense to understand that. Second, I don’t understand why you’ve had a problem with me since 2011. Now,I’ve allowed you to hurl all of your verbal punches at me for this long, and now tonight is the night.”, Yaa pointed her fork across the table towards Rhonda, “Woman to child: stop it. Grow the fuck up. As for us in this family, we don’t acknowledge that bastard’s name or presence. You understand me? In closing, as for my Winston, he is mine. Period. The prayer? I saw Uncle Wes’s new boyfriend and I said to the ancestors, ‘I see what y’all are doing for Unc, and I just ask that y’all slide me the same.’ Someone pass me the Pinot noir.”

Everyone covered their mouths in disbelief. Leave it to Aunt Janice to summarize the thoughts of the room. She,too, poured herself a glass of Rosé as she said, “Rhonda, we tried to warn you. That gal is Momma in a younger body. You knew better to touch the hot stove and now you burned yourself. Do what Tay said and just be happy for the baby. She done worked hard to get this doctorate a whole semester early.” In fairness, if Rhonda was going to bring up Quincy, then by the laws of pettiness, Yaa was obligated to bring up Rhonda’s ex-husband and Delonte’s dad Uncle Wes, who came out earlier in the year.

Khalida excused herself from the table and ran upstairs to her room, Winston trailing behind her after giving a fifteen-minute head start. Knock, knock. “I wanna be left alone.”, she said choking on her words. “It’s me, Pumpkin. We can talk through this locked door if that’s what you prefer. I just wanna see if you’re ok.”, Winston said loud enough for her to hear through the door. A few moments passed before Winston the unlocking of the doors. He walked in and walked onto the balcony where she had just finished rolling up. “I’m sorry about what happened back there, Pumpkin.”, he began, “I just came up here to make sure you were ok.” He pulled a loc out of her face and cautiously wiped the cold stray tears from her eyes. She kept her silence as she continued to cry and smoke her blunt. “There’s nothing you should be apologizing for, baby love.”, she spoke barely above a whisper and sniffled. Pulling the last of her blunt, she walked into the warmth of her room, motioning for him to follow suit. Eyes low, she looked into his concerned eyes and smiled. “I should be the one apologizing. I came out of myself in front of the whole family and you.” Winston shook his head no. He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her light brown locs. They held each other for what seemed like eternity. “You know, the family was expressing their shock for your read down there. They weren’t ready for that.”, Winston chuckled. Khalida answered, “Well,shit. Wait till I tell them I’m going with you to Tobago for Carnival instead of Mardi Gras next year.”

Tag List:

@muse-of-mbaku @kumkaniudaku @eriknutinthispoosy @great-neckpectations @eerythingisshaka @whoramilaje @uhlxisback @randomwordprompts @bartierbakarimobisson @texasbama @babybluepeaches @babygirlofwakanda @hearteyes-for-killmonger @storibambino @sarahboseman @dacreskars @pastelastronomy24 @chaneajoyyy @maya-leche @washyourlinens @supersizemeplz @dramaqueenamby @royallyprincesslilly @mellowjellow6 @niquelafleur @mareethequeen @jellybean531 @wakandanblogger @wakandan-flowerz @blackpantherimagines @blackpantherreblogs @onyxvixen-writer @kaykay4454fan @brianabreeze @jackburtonsays @thehomierobbstark @sweettea-and-honeybutter @coonflix @brittyevans @lavitabella87 @laketaj24

#dukeandthedoctor #DestinedToBeDuke #atfirstglance #winston duke x oc #winston duke imagine

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ravenaveira · 6 years

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#73

Ok....todays Boruto episode was just...

There were just so many problems I had with this ep that I just...

I...I cant even right now, I’ll just list the things I didnt like or am just wtf about

Why was Karin there? minor fanservice I assume bit still that little interaction between her and Sarada just felt I donno...awkward? I guess

Why is Suigetsu acting respectful towards Orochimaru all of a sudden? didnt he hate this man? I know they on house arrest together but come on this dude had you naked in a tube unwillingly and did experiments on you I’d think there’d still be some resentment but I guess not

Didnt Boruto and Sarada only JUST FIND OUT Mitsuki was a clone in the manga? but in the anime they made it now instead? isnt this a filler arc? or is it canon? and if it is then what are they gonna do when they get to that part in the manga? skip it? change it? so many questions!

Ms Karin? I cant tell if Sarada was just being respectful or not but it seemed to be a little too familiar for someone she’s never met and thought her dad cheated with so did they have some off screen meeting that we dont know about or what? I’ll just assume when Suigetsu brought her her new glasses he explained everything and their just cool now which makes no sense but I’ll roll with it

Orochimaru being vague again....shocker

Why is the fact that Orochimaru killed Konohamaru’s grandfather only just being addressed? wasnt he friggin filming Orochimaru in Konoha Hiden? did I miss something? does he just pick and choose when to be pissed about that? was it a error by the studio? who friggin knows at this point

Naruto giving Konohamaru the Hiruzen to Iruka speech but Hiruzen did it 10x better, maybe its just me but Naruto really handled this whole Mitsuki Konohamaru situation poorly, atleast Iruka knew who Naruto was from the start and had the choice whether or not to forgive him despite that while Konohamaru didnt even get the courtesy of that and had to find out at the worst possible time in the worst possible way

In the Sasuke retrieval arc the excuse for why they sent genin instead of jonin is because most of them were out on missions or busy at the time, whats the excuse here? sure they have ONE jonin which is Moegi but still instead of Shikadai Inojin and Chocho wouldnt it be better if it were just all jonin with her instead of genin? I mean you got the 7th hokage’s son and Sasuke Uchiha’s daughter I’d think a little extra caution is warranted considering everyone knows Boruto took down a god even if it was with help, and Sarada with her Sharingan and monster strength? definitely underestimated, and why Moegi of all people? couldnt they send a much more experienced jonin then that?

Ok last ones just a little nit picky so ignore that its no big deal but worth mentioning anyway

Seriously this episode just had me all over the friggin place and Im still tryin to process it all...

Bonus - Yamato said he was going to look around Orochimaru’s lair so does that mean hes gonna see the Mitsuki room? matter of fact shouldnt he have seen it already if he does routine checks on him? if so then does that mean Yamato’s just...ok with this? cuz Naruto’s aware of this too and doesnt care so is this just like ok now?

Bonus 2 - Orochimaru basically put a bomb inside his son to explode if his secrets are ever at risk of getting out....what? I never thought Orochimaru was a good dad nor did I ever trust him and something like this Is not surprising to me that Orochimaru would do but...got danm thats cruel, Orochimaru’s done some cruel shit in the past but this is his own friggin kid you’d think he’d atleast be a LITTLE less fucked up but I guess not, all the more reason not to ever trust his ass in the future

I...I just cant with this ep right now...it was a decent episode besides all the fuck shit and I’d give it a 7/10 based on that but everything else I just...I just cant

#boruto next generations #boruto anime #seriously wtf was this episode #i just cant man #so many problems #so many questions #so many wtfs #i friggin CANT man #this is too much to process #my opinion might change later on when reading other ppls thoughts on this episode but for now this is how i feel #dont take it personally #if you disagree thats fine these are just my raw thoughts right now after just watching the episode

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lil-nct-scenarios-11 · 6 years

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Dongwoon- Shortie

Group: Highlight- Dongwoon

Theme: Request- Dongwoon accidentally embarrasses Y/N in front of the other members and Y/N gets upset as he keeps doing it which leads to them getting to a fight in front of everyone

Type: scenario- angst + fluff (for the most part)

Plot: You and Dongwoon invite the rest of highlight over to your new house for a good time but with the way Dongwoon talks about you results in anything but a good time.

____

It’s a burning hot day that’s caught in the middle of a heat wave yet you’re out on the street going around giving cold water to homeless people and advice them to take shelter under shade. When you run out of water bottles and feel content with your work for the day, you decide to visit Dongwoon and the others at their studio or office, wherever they might be today. Before you go off to visit them, you decide to stop by an ice cream shop that a friend owns to get some ice cream for the guys as well as just paying a visit to your dear friend.

As the door chimes, you exclaim, “Heyy!”

Your friend turns around and her face lights up upon recognizing you, “Hey Y/N! How can I help ya today?”

“I’ll take mine and Dongwoon’s usual as well as a cup of matcha, one mango, and two rocky roads please.”

“Okie comin’ right up. To-go right?”

“Mhmh,” you nod.

“Looks like you’re visiting the boys today huh?“ she asks as she swiftly scoops the ice cream into the containers.

“Actually Dongwoon and I invited them over to our house, I figured I’d just grab some ice cream for them before heading home plus I was missing you as well so it's good to see you.“

“It’s good to see ya too. So tell me how you’ve been?“

“I’m doing great, just got back from giving water to people. How about you? It looks a little empty in here, I figured there’d be more people since it’s hitting triple digits, is business okay?”

“Yup, business is doing amazing, especially in the heat! But it’s a little slow at this moment since kids are still in school and it’s not lunch time anymore. And you just missed it, there was major hustle here like you would not believe. Who knew hot people could be so darn angry and demanding? And I’m not talking the good-looking kinda hot people, I mean sweat-drenched hot. Anyways how are things with you and Dongwoon?”

“Things are good, we’re at a great place with each other and keep each other happy and all that. So how much do I owe ya?”

“Don’t worry about it right now, just treat me to a lunch so we can catch up properly then. Here you are, hope you have a good time Y/N,” your friend says with a friendly wink as she hands you the bag of ice cream.

“Awe thank you and I’ll text you later this evening regarding that lunch love, take care.“ You say as you take the bag and head out the door.

-----

You open your front door and as the door opens you hear the guys having an animated conversation and you wave the bag over your head at the same time they call out happily, “Y/N is here!”

“Look here comes the shortie,” Dongwoon chuckles as he comes up to greet you. As he walks over you give him a little glare yet blush in embarrassment but despite that Dongwoon pulls you into his embrace and plants a quick kiss on your head.

‘Strike one,’ you think to yourself.

“I got you guys some ice cream as a treat from this warm weather. Yoseob oppa, I got you matcha ice cream. Gikwang oppa I have mango for you. And for you two I got your favorite,” you list as you take out each container and hand it to the corresponding person.

“Rocky road?“ Doojoon asks excitedly.

“Yup, rocky road. Here’s one for you and one for you Junhyung oppa. And for you,” you stop to look at Dongwoon adoringly. “For you I got your usual babe.”

“Thank you Y/N,” the guys say in semi-unison.

“Haha no problem. Thank you guys all for coming over today, I know there’s always a lot of work so I appreciate you guys taking the time to be here,” you smile sincerely.

“Of course Y/N, since you invited us so sweetly we wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Gikwang says genuinely.

“Mhmh, you guys have a very beautiful home,” Junhyung comments.

“Oh, I almost forgot! Y/N, Dongwoon, this is for your new home,” Yoseob says as he hands you a gift.

“Oh! You guys didn’t have to do that, thank you very much,” you thank.

“Yea thank you hyungs. Please enjoy the rest of your ice creams as Y/N and I will grab some snacks for the movie,” Dongwoon states as he puts his arm around you.

---

“Hey babe I never said thanks for that ice cream earlier,” Dongwoon says in a low voice to you as he corners you and leans in for a kiss.

“Mhmh don’t get any ideas, you know we have company, and it’s your hyungs too no less,” you say quickly as you break free from his grasp but he manages to give you a kiss on you cheek.

“Mhh whatever you say lil one,” he whispers as he lets you go.

You narrow your eyes at him and cock an eyebrow, “You take the popcorn and stuff, I’ll go bring the beer.”

‘Strike two’ you count.

---

After the hilarious movie, you decide it’s time to cook dinner. Yoseob and Gikwang join you in the kitchen as Dongwoon takes the elders to play pool in the room next door.

“So Y/N, what’s for dinner tonight?” Yoseob asks as he sits on a stool.

“I was thinking of a grilled salmon with some kale salad and I’ll also be making some bean soup as well,” you say eagerly as you go around your kitchen gathering various ingredients.

“Ooh very good Y/N,” Gikwang complimented. “I heard from Dongwoon that you two were trying a diet so I’m happy to see that you two are still sticking with it.”

“Thanks. And you didn’t hear this from me but our diet magically reappeared today,” you say with a shrug as Yoseob and Gikwang laugh.

---

“Y/N?” Doojoon calls as you set the final dish on the table.

“Yes,” you say as you stand still, wiping your palms on your apron.

“Where’s all the meat? Is this it?” Doojoon asks in a serious tone but breaks into a laugh seconds later. “I’m just joking with you, the meal looks delicious. Thanks for making us this feast.”

“All that meat went into the other half of her height. Get it? ‘Cuz it’s not there,” Dongwoon cracks himself and the others chuckle nervously.

You scoff and stand in disbelief.

‘Final strike’, you think before quickly walking away with your head down letting a whisper that faintly sounded, “excuse me.”

Your hand reaches out to grab the door handle of the bathroom but Dongwoon grabs roughly your hand instead and swings you towards him.

“Why’d you leave like that?” Dongwoon asks harshly with a dark glaze over his eyes.

“Wh- why’d I leave? How about why you’ve been making fun of my height all day?” you ask defensively as you poke his chest sharply.

“Height? Is that what this is about?”

“Yes, of course it is if it’s all you keep mentioning!”

“Don’t raise your voice at me,” Dongwoon commands dauntingly.

“Excuse me, I’m not the one who’s been making people uncomfortable. I don’t think you realize how inconsiderate you’ve been all day.”

“Yeah whatever just come back to the table, this doesn’t look good,” Dongwoon says monotonely as he lets go of your hand and turns to walk back.

“Um no you’re not gunna pull that card with me. We’re not done here. You wanna tell me why you’re being like this? I thought you knew how much I don’t like being made fun of for my height. Baby why’d you make that joke, it wasn’t even funny.“

“It's not a big deal, I don‘t know why you‘re making a big fuss over this.”

“Cuz I know for a fact I told you that I’m very insecure about my height in general and even more so when it’s front of others. I know you’re not one to do something like this that’s why I’m ‘making a big fuss over this.’“

Dongwoon just stands there and shrugs his shoulders.

“Woonie look, we can't keep fighting like little kids. Look around, we bought that. Woonie, we bought a whole house together. Together, me and you. And that’s a huge thing and a very adult thing to do too. So please stop acting like this, you know better. You’re right, it doesn't look good for us to leave the table like that. But you gotta watch what you say cuz in our house we gotta care about each other not hurt each other, right? So let’s stop wasting time and go back,” you say softly as you rub his back softly.

Dongwoon sniffles, “You’re right Y/N, I’m sorry for making you feel so uncomfortable today. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking, I think I had too much to drink tonight. Yeah, let's go back, the hyungs are probably waiting for us. I’m sorry love.”

You smile up at him and he leans down to kiss you. He puts his arm around you and you two start to walk back together. “You know one of my favorite things about you is your height, you fit perfectly with me. We’ve waited so long to share a home together and be able to invite friends over. And look, we finally did that together. I love you Y/N,” Dongwoon says gently to you before pressing a kiss to your forehead and returning to his seat on the table amongst the others.

“Sorry about that, how’s the meal so far?” Dongwoon asks everyone politely.

*omllll look how mf handsome he isss omffff AND he’s got blk hair

*anon, you know who you are, I’m terribly sorry love, I hope I did it justice

#highlight #highlight Dongwoon #Dongwoon #highlight scenario #highlight Dongwoon scenario #Dongwoon scenario #highlight one shot #highlight Dongwoon one shot #Dongwoon one shot #request 21 #hi5hli5ht #hi5hli5ht request

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starwritesfanfics · 7 years

Text

Stark’s Girl Part 2 (Kinda NSFW)

AN: LOOK HOW PRETTY HE IS I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF SEEING HIM

Pairing: Peter Parker(Spider-Man) x Reader

Summary: What happens after you both wake up and at your father’s gala?

Words: 1552

Warning: SOME SMUT AT THE BEGINNING and fluff and language that is all

Peters groans softly to himself as he wakes up, feeling weight on his chest where you’re curled up against him. He blinks a few times to help wake himself up, only to realize that he’s not looking through the eyes of his mask. Running his hand over his face and into his hair, he starts to panic. What if you see him? For all he knew, you had sex with Spider-Man, fell asleep with Spider-Man, but you’re going to wake up to Peter Parker in your bed!

You whine as you shift on him, your arm curling up to rest on his cheek. “Pete…stop moving, I wanna sleep…”

His entire body tenses under yours. You…just called him Pete. Like his name. Meaning you knew who he is without his mask. And you’re still here with him. Meaning you don’t care that he’s Peter Parker, too. So…do you like him, too?

He shifts onto his side, propping his head up on his hand to look down at you. You whine again, brows furrowing as your eyes shut tighter, the new position making the sun shine directly from the window into your face. Peter can’t help but smile at you, the way your nose is scrunched up, the little whines you keep making as the sun continues to shine. You’re adorable.

“Peter, the sun burns,” you murmur, burying your face into his chest.

He can’t help but chuckle at you, kissing your head. “Morning to you, too, sunshine. How’d you sleep?”

You hum softly, pressing a soft kiss right below his collar bone. “Best I ever had. How about you?”

“Amazing. Had one hell of a night.”

You chuckle softly, leaning up to kiss the underside of his jaw. “Well, I have some good news. Before I fell asleep, Dad texted me and said he and he team wouldn’t be back until this afternoon.”

“And what time is it now, beautiful?”

You grin, cheeks turning pink from the nickname. “Like…nine fifteen.”

“Then we have a lot of time to kill, don’t we?” he teases, his hands trailing over your waist and hips, sending shivers and goosebumps over your skin.

You nod before crawling up, pushing him onto his back, and capturing his lips in a sweet, soft kiss. The both of you hadn’t taken it very slow last night, so you’re making the most of the time you now have. Plus, you know who he is now, your other crush. How much better could it get?

His lips move slowly against yours, tangling his fingers gently in your hair. You’re both still bare from the night before, so all he has to do is rock his hips up slowly as you make out to bring little sounds from you, making him smile softly.

You’ve known Peter in school for a year or two now and know he’s not the most confident guy ever, which only makes last night make you wonder. Does his mask give him like a new personality? Because now, he seems more slow and shy. You love both sides and you wonder what this side will lead to.

His hands drift down to rest on your hips as both of your hips slowly rock against each other, trying to get as much friction as you can. You break the kiss, nose nudging his to make him look into your eyes as you reach between the both of you to guide him inside, both of you completely forgetting about protection now. Now that you know that both of your crushes are the same person, you feel completely at easy having sex with them-him. Peter.

You feel his muscles tense under you as he holds himself still under you, watching you with his beautiful chocolate brown eyes. God, you love his eyes and his smile and his personality, his nerdiness, his adorable little laugh, his body…

“Y/n,” a voice calls from several rooms away. You don’t know where for sure, but the man who the voice belongs to makes both of you completely freeze. They aren’t supposed to be home yet, they aren’t supposed to be back until afternoon!

Peter rolls the both of you over and rushes off your bed, grabbing his boxers quickly. After he pulls those on (getting his foot through the crouch hole accidently that goof), he starts pulling his suit on. You can’t help but giggle at his panicked state, watching him from your bed, still naked. Your plan is to get dressed with Peter, but you can’t stop watching him. He glances up at you, cheeks flaring pink before he presses the spider on his chest, tightening his suit.

“I’ll, um…I’ll see you later?”

You nod, grabbing a big shirt of yours to throw on quickly. “Yeah, definitely.”

He smiles and nods, pulling his mask over his face and climbing out your window to the side of the building. You remember something about later this week and rush to the window, grabbing his wrist.

“Wait, Peter! Are you free Friday night?”

He nods slowly. “Um, yeah, I think so. Why?”

You tuck a bit of your hair behind your ear shyly, biting your lip. “I know it’s a bit out of order, but my dad is having this gala thing and I wondered if you’d be my date. So I’m not alone this time.”

He pulls his mask up over his nose and pecks your lips gently, smiling. “I’d be honored to accompany you to the gala, princess. See you soon.”

You smile brightly, grabbing a pair of shorts to tug on before anyone comes into your room. You can’t wait for Friday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You smooth out the ruffled skirt of your two-piece dress, shifting nervously as you wait for your father to stop talking to a pretty journalist. You glance around for your date, knowing that he sometimes runs late with some small crime or even just May holding him back, maybe messing and fussing with his outfit since you knew he never wore a tie or suit besides at Homecoming last year.

“Y/n, come here,” Tony says, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. Of course there’d be pictures for the tabloids. You haven’t been going to many press or social events lately because of school, but it’s late enough on Friday that there’s no problem with you going.

You pose next to your father for a couple pictures before he guides you into the actual building and starts socializing. You sigh and pull away, walking to the refreshment table, not that you even recognize half of the appetizers on it anyway. You settle on just a drink, sipping it as your lean back against the table. It wouldn’t be so bad if Peter was here like he said he’d be. Yeah, you understand the hero job, sometimes things come up, but wouldn’t he text or call you to let you know?

Does he even have your number to let you know?

You smile to yourself at your own stupidity. Why wouldn’t you give him your number after you slept with him? Wait, slept with sounds a little…well, slutty, honestly. You aren’t like that, he’s the only one you’ve ever done that with. It was special, even though you didn’t know at first it was Peter, after finding out the next morning, it made it special. To you, anyway. And he called you beautiful, so he must love you, right? Right?!

A tap on your shoulder makes you jump and spin around to face a smiling, though shy, Peter Parker. You relax and grin back at him, feeling all the nervousness of him not showing up roll off your shoulders. You want to hug him or give him a kiss, but you can’t, not with so many people around you. So, you take his hand and carefully and hopefully inconspicuously to a stairway that leads to the roof. You’ve always wanted to do this and you really had to ask him something.

“What are we doing up here?” He looks to you curiously, which you find absolutely adorable. Everything about him is so adorable.

“Hang on,” you chide teasingly, setting your phone on a box on the roof, turning on Spotify to play some music. You smile as a slower song starts playing and step back up to Peter, holding out your hands to him.

He slowly understands and rests one hand on your waist, the other holding your hand. He is beyond glad that May taught him how to dance before or else he’d make a huge fool of himself. You smile wider to yourself, loving the feeling of his hand in yours. Your question is in the back of your mind, but you want to spend all the time you can just in his arms. Carefully, you move both your arms around his neck and rest your head on his chest. His cheeks still flush red from you wanting to be so close to him.

“C-can I ask you something, Y/n?”

You nod, tilting your head up to look at him.

“Would…you wanna…go out sometime?”

You smile brightly, leaning up to kiss him gently. “Only if I can be your girlfriend.”

It’s hard to kiss someone when all he can do is smile as wide as he can.

TAGS: @captainswriting @caitsymichelle13 @384-chubby-dumpling @curly-haired-crisp @free-wifi-at-wendys @mmycchemicalromance(IDK WHY IT WON’T TAG YOU I’M SORRY) @tomhollandisthicc @nerkybowtie(I’m just tagging you just cuz)

#Peter Parker x reader #peter parker x reader smut #peter parker #peter parker smut #marvel #x reader #x reader smut #spiderman x reader #spiderman #spiderman x reader smut #spiderman smut

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welcometojoelsvoid · 6 years

Photo

I drew myself properly for once :0 (Yeah I actually don’t have horns, how funny)

So I was thinking (which is never a good thing lmao) of what it would be like to be in the IT universe, or whatever you’d call it. Cuz like the Losers Club kids are approximately my age and cuz I always stick myself in things I like, I made myself a small backstory thing for it :T

btw, this is more like the 2017 one, cuz that’s the one I’m more familiar with.

(Under “read-more” cuz this came out longer than I expected, especially if you’re on mobile lmao)

((Tagging @conejito-del-polvo cuz for some reason she wants to see this garbage))

Warning for spoilers and slight homophobia/homophobic language(?)

I’d be an exchange student. I wouldn’t really talk much to the other kiddos in my class because I’m an antisocial twerp, I’d probably be bullied for being weird and openly gay. But I wouldn’t really care :/

I’d most likely become friends with Mike or Bill first. Being outcasted and a minority would be a good conversation breaker with Mike and I could joke about my stuttering with Bill. Through them, I’d get to meet the rest of the gang. I’d help them stick up to bullies like the Bower’s Gang (my preferred method is humour).

The first scare I’d get from IT would probably be hallucinations, not like seeing the undead or whatever, but like bugs in my room or something like that. I’m hard to scare off the bat so Pennywise would have to start off slow. IT would make me feel stalked and uncomfortable, try to strengthen my paranoia and anxiety. At some point, I’d be so scared that I could not leave my room. The Losers Club would probably send Bev or Mike to coax me out.

My friends say I’m a very rational and liable person, good with social issues, so I’d probably be good at keeping the group together, settling arguments and all that. Pennywise would sense that I was beginning to be a bigger problem then IT had originally ought me to. IT would try and keep all of the Losers Club separated and try to control me, thinking that now was the time to really get under my skin. It would be a normal school day, just like any other. History class was just a tad more boring than usual. I’d fall asleep in class and when I woke up to the loud ringing I’d notice that no one was in the classroom. I’d quickly get up from my seat and search around, but I’d find no one to be there. I’d exit the school, no one in the streets, no cars, no people, nothing but just things. I’d start to get extremely anxious, thinking the worst or not thinking at all. I’d run to the house my host family lived in. No one’s there either. I’d start crying and my breathing would get faster, I would be barely able to move. I’d run back out, not sure what to do. I’d see someone important to me out on the streets, like my Ma, boyfriend or one of my friends. I’d run to them, crying my eyes out, glad to see one of my loved ones even if it didn’t make sense for them to be there. I’d hug them, mumbling incoherent words. The person would then either turn into IT, a grotesque monster or just fade away. Either way, I’d be traumatised as fuck. IT would probably make witty/snarky comments, calling me “fairy boy” (I think a reappearing theme would be IT or bullies calling me things like fae or fag/faggot) and attack me, only for me to wake up in class screaming bloody murder. The teacher would send me to the principal’s office for disrupting the lesson. Depending which version of Pennywise this is, there’d be two outcomes; if it’s the 90′s version IT would taunt me while the principal lectured me about paying attention and not disrupting in class, I would be too in shock to say or do anything but sit pretty and listen. If it’s the 17′s version IT would probably appear a few times, just standing somewhere, drooling, maybe taunting me with a few words.

The few following days I would absolutely refuse to leave my room or sleep, I would barely even eat. The young child, who’s maybe like 8 or 10 years old, that my host family has would grow worried about me. I probably had gotten pretty attached to this kid, since I really enjoy spending time and taking care of younger kids (there’s a reason why I helped out multiple times at a local daycare where I live). They’d try to comfort me, in between subjects say how a creepy looking clown had been appearing around them. This would spark a burst of energy in me. I didn’t dare to tell the kid what the clown actually was about, how dangerous it was, I’d just say to stay far away from it.

I’d contact all of the Losers Club, shit was getting serious. Of course, they’d be confused as to why I suddenly decided to leave my room, Richie would probably say something about me finally getting my shit together or manning up. I’d ignore him and tell them what had happened to me and my host family’s kid. They then told about what had been happening to them as well. At this point, I realised that I have no idea where the hell I am in the storyline, but decided to continue nevertheless. I guess shit happens, cuz I can’t figure out what has already happened and what hasn’t. Uhhhh The only things I remember are the cliff/swimming scene, rock war scene and going to Ben’s weird conspiracy room scene. I wouldn’t have joined them on the swim since I don’t like swimming. I would’ve just been sitting somewhere, drawing and yelling whenever someone splashed water a bit too close (was there a shore/bank thing at the lake? I can’t remember). I definitely would’ve stayed a bit back when the rock war started, I don’t mess with that shit. I’d probably be impressed and a little freaked out by Ben’s room. Like dude, I know people got weird hobbies, but seriously?

Anyway, after figuring out where IT resides and heading to the Neighbolt house (is that how it’s spelt? I have no idea and my dyslexia isn’t helping), Bill, Richie and Eddie go in as I and the others stay behind, I’d probably make a joke about what kind of food they want at their funerals, Bev would smack me on the shoulder and Bill would tell me to shut up. Richie gets stuck in the clown room, Eddie breaks his arm, IT does some mad yoga poses and gets a rusted pipe through its head. After IT leaves with a bow and Eddie is taken home, I’d have the audacity to suggest getting ice cream to celebrate I’d, of course, get some mean looks from the others, though Richie would probably give me a high-five. Here’s where the Losers Club breaks up and I can’t remember if anything happens, other than Bev getting kidnapped. We go back to the crackhead house, Mike gets attacked by the Henry McDickface and dies and Stan is attacked. In the “final” face-off I’d most likely stay back a bit again, not really the fighting type, mostly just making sure if anyone’s gonna need first-aid and how badly (I used to be am a scout, what’d you expect?).

The battle’s over, IT is defeated for now and we make a promise to group up again if IT were to ever come back. Thanks for reading. (I might do a follow-up after chapter 2 is released)

#self-insert #it 2017 #it #the losers club #pennywise #bill den #richie tozier #stan uris #mike hanlon #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #eddie kaspbrak #losers club #it 2017 spoilers #jojowritesthings #jojodrawsthings

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rainy-circle · 4 years

Note

Your salty ask stuff reminded me, but lowkey I would read any RWBY stuff you wrote about cuz I def vibe with your opinions (and might've searched your blog for RWBY content and saw you maybe had Ideas) and you're a great writer.

LFIEJKSGNDF ANON THIS IS...........SO FLATTERING OH MGYDO

GOD YEAH I don’t even remember what it would be tagged because I’ve tried and re-tried all these dumb self-made tag systems!! I have like... three pieces of fanart in my tiny web video tag. One day I’ll clean up this stupid blog of mine, like one day I’ll actually clean my room. GOD

but yes indeed I do have some scattered ideas!! Yet another one of my Giant Fics I Might Never Write is a RWBY AU where I just like... take canon out back and shoot it, and I have some very spare notes in my writing app, mostly just world-building stuff.

The thing that is always constantly in the back of my mind, and what probably shows on my blog the most, is that Adam Taurus deserved to not be suddenly made into a whiny abusive stalker. The Faunus racism/Schnee Dust Company/slavery plot is... messy to say the least. I’m not 100% sure how I’d fix the whole thing (especially since I’m Extremely White), but I do know I’d definitely give Adam a redemption arc where he learns to eventually trust good humans and becomes everyone’s weird older brother.

(also, rare pairs. there’d be rare pairs everywhere)

#Anonymous #{ asks + replies }#{ writerly things }#{ internet : rwby }

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frankensteined · 7 years

Note

slow burn/fake date/enemies to lovers: seth, rudy, and miller

slow burn

miller would have no patience for fake dating bullshit, and even just getting along with him would be a slow burn in and of itself, so naturally he’s gonna go here. what’s cool about this one is that a slow burn thing can absolutely be platonic as well, so that whole “it could take ten years to even make him like me at all” is a perfectly applicable no matter what direction that trope went here.

cuz this slow burn would be a slow, slow burn. it’d take place on a military base, where he’s just trying to Do His Thing and prove that he’s still useful and worth promoting even though he’s never going into the field again. what am i there for? who knows! i’m there to just...talk to dr silva so he doesn’t feel like he’s talking to a wall or something, i dunno. doesn’t matter. it’d take ages for miller to even give a shit that i was there, and a few months after that before he’d bother to make the smallest of small talk with me. which is fine, because i don’t like small talk either, but that’d drag things out even longer, in that case.

i’d manage some scathing and sarcastic comments at some people, though, that he’d probably appreciate since i think he’d enjoy dry commentary, especially directed at people who deserved it, but he wasn’t able to make fun of directly without recourse. but were we friends at this point? noooo. not yet.

one month later, he’s used to having me around, so i can get included in a short conversation. maybe a few weeks after that, we have an entire conversation, just between us, about...i dunno. something unrelated to life on the base.

eventually. eventually, things progress to shoulder pats, and friendly (???) insults. it’s probably taken nearly a year, but we’re now officially Cool with each other. friends yet? more? hard to say, because who knows what putting things up on high shelves just to laugh as i climb things to get them means? is it friendly dickery? flirting? dunno. doesn’t matter, we’re Cool. we’re giving each other a hard time all the time, but it’s friendly (this time, i know it is).

i let him decide how he wants to steer our interactions, cuz honestly i’m surprised i even got that far. he eventually explains that damn keychain to me, and that’s literally all i wanted. we have Reached The Top, regardless of whether we kiss or just high five or whatever happens beyond that. mystery solved. maxed out affection has been attained. if this were a video game, i’d have just won the “it’s a goddamn miracle, how’d you pull that off?” trophy.

fake dating

this is how this would happen: i’d go up to seth, say “if i give you $20 will you pretend to be my boyfriend at this stupid family reunion thing? you just need to eat hamburgers, get drunk, and make them regret ever asking me to bring someone.” and, after the “eat and get drunk” part entered the scenario, he’d have started nodding and then he’d say “i’d have done that for free, but since you put it out there, you’ve gotta give me the $20 too.”

and would we come up with a really solid, believable backstory to share with all my awful, nosy relatives at the actual event? no! of course not! i was busy worrying about my family! he wouldn’t have thought of thinking about that! so, we’d be there, and basically just be making things up as we went along. and it’d start off harmless enough, but eventually the stories would be completely ridiculous, so there’d be a lot of “what the fuck are you doing?!” whisper-fighting when no one else was looking, but whenever one of my relatives would come by and interrupt, we’d need to fall into over the top displays of affection to cover our tracks. it’d be like that bit in b99 where jake and amy have to act fake engaged. like my gossipiest cousin rolls in going “what are you two up toooooo?” and we’d have to go “oh, uh, we’re just over here....” “...making out.” “...yup. that’s what we’re doing. right out in the open where anyone could see us.” “she’s really into that kinda thing.” and then when my cousin left i’d have to tell seth that he’s an asshole and that i hated him, and he’d be thinking he was really funny and remind me that i still owed him $20.

and because he’s actually funny and goofy and my family’s large and ridiculous, they’d actually end up liking him and insisting that he comes to other events, which results in like a bunch of other shenanigans that i’m both horrified and charmed by, eventually. there’s probably a one-bed-in-the-room-what-do-we-do scenario to up the Trope Factor during one of the misadventures cuz at that point the universe is just going for broke and throwing as many cliches as it can at us.

he does not get the $20, but we probably make out for real at least one time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

enemies to lovers

"fuck you, rudy.” “well, if you insist.” that’s it. that’s how that trope plays out.

but seriously, like i said with my rachel answer for this one: this wouldn’t be fluffy or healthy either, and would be a lot darker too? like, the “enemies to lovers” trope usually tugs along with it some sort of “love = redemption” idea as well, which is boring, imo, but also only works for certain types of characters. and rudy? iiiis not that type of character. going into things as a direct enemy of rudy, as a character, would mean that you’d either need to just deal with things as two opposing forces who have this intense attraction despite that, or it’d have to bend you the other way. instead of him playing nice, you’d have to end up falling from grace to even end up on the same footing.

and either option is interesting! i’m into either of them! (like not...in real life, but in a Trope Laden Hypothetical Scenario? yeah! big time!) hating/fighting (probably literally) each other, but still hooking up? “this isn’t gonna happen again.” “sure.” (it does)?? super unhealthy! in this situation, too, you’d probably be looking at some super not-okay possessiveness, some “were you following me?” uncoolness, and inevitable fallout from that relationship going public to allies and stuff. it’s top of the shelf don’t try this at home level stuff, but i’d read dark fic about it for suresies. the other option is that, because of his influence, you’d start to go down a darker path and he’d be into that because there’s no moral high ground to navigate anymore, just two fucked up people clawing each other up. self destructive on your end, probably, but maybe just dragging out a darker side that was always there? either way, this isn’t going to be one of those examples of those tropes where Love Redeems And They All Lived Happily Ever After. it’s like a really extra unhealthy use of the dating catwoman trope too.

like me, personally? since i’ve been answering these from a “what would i do in these scenarios?” perspective? probably option a. that quote from the beginning, paired up with that first scenario seems like the most likely match there (especially since i’ve got very little patience for the option c: the morality pet trope, but that could also work here too I GUESS). but yeah, there can be like...moments that aren’t messed up and twisted (i really hesitate to call them “fluffy”, but they can be...nicer, possibly) here, but ultimately rudy wouldn’t budge from his loyalties and none of it would end well, but he’d still work best in this trope, i think.

send me three characters!

#my answers are getting more and more detailed every time i try to picture the tropes in play for this meme #next time i do this i'm just gonna write a fic instead of answering #(no i won't but STILL)#labratslabcoat

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afterspark-podcast · 5 years

Text

G1 Episode 19: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: Bugs. Bugs is what I'm getting at.

O: [Laughs] Oh, okay.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast. An episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I’m Specs!

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 19, Dinobot Island Part 1. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah.

O: We open with Bumblebee (plus jetpack) and Powerglide flying through the air heading towards some strange energy reading in the middle of the ocean.

S: [laughs] Bumblebee comms back to base, to get confirmation from Optimus Prime and when it cuts to the Autobots we see Wheeljack at the console, you know, Teletraan 1, the big screen and everything, and then everyone else is like a good 60 feet back.

O: [snorts]

S: They're probably afraid Wheeljack's gonna blow shit up again.

O: By basically manning their telephone? [laughs]

S: Don't underestimate Wheeljack's ability to blow shit up. He's got a green thumb for it...or a black thumb? I don’t know…

O: He’s very, very talented at blowing shit up, let’s just go with that.

S: At least that’s how the fandom handles it.

O: I mean, fair. Bumblebee however, seems to be very gung-ho about this mission and excited and kind of surprised that Optimus seems to think so highly of him.

S: Like, he's kinda--he's almost a little blushy.

O: Yeah, he is.

S: It's kind of cute.

O: It's--well, Bee is very cute.

S: It's-it's sweet. Then Powerglide calls Bumblebee his ‘Little Bee Buddy.’

O: Which great name, it's a great name.

S: Yeah…

O: Ah, Powerglide, while flying slams into some sort of energy wave or energy field and says that it won't affect him because he's got too much ‘pizazz!’

S: Oh god--he's an idiot who thinks he dumped all of his points into charisma but clearly he didn',t and then again I'm having a hard time figuring out what stat he would have dumped them into because it's clearly not wisdom. Maybe dexterity? And I'm actually really wishing now that I'd sat down and put together a fucking stat sheet.

O: Oh god, that sounds nightmarish. All I know is that Powerglide talks about himself a lot. I feel like he says his name like six times in sixty seconds in his introduction.

S: Something like that. He sort of speaks in pseudo third-person, it gets kind of old.

O: It gets old very quickly.

S: But they had to have some way of differentiating these new Autobots from the previous ones so you get a bit more, um, out there personalities and speech tics.

O: [snorts] I mean, I guess at least they have personalities?

S: Or speech patterns is what I meant.

O: Yeah.

S: Cuz you've got Warpath and...all of that.

O: Yeah…

S: They're suddenly attacked by a giant pteranodon that carries Bee away in its claws. Providing his own narration, Powerglide then flies off to the rescue.

O: Bee looks like, super done through this entire sequence. Uh, he even says something to the effect of, “Can't he just save a guy without doing a commercial?”

S: Honestly, the Autobots could probably earn money by you know, selling off Powerglide’s vocal--

O: Oh god.

S: --powers for commercials.

O: Yeah, he--he would make a good--good guy to do commercials for…

S: Oh god, him and Swindle, doing something together.

O: Oh god, oh god, yes please--someone write this? [laughs]

S: Like, Swindle’s a perfectly good sell guy by himself but I mean, you want an infomercial…

O: Give him the power--uh, giving them the power of Powerglide’s voice? Oh yes, they would sell so much shit!

S: Oh god, I'm just imagining the robot infomercials now. Shamwow, Oxyclean...

O: [laughs] Shamwow, now--now sponsored by the Auto--the Autobots! Shamwow! [continues laughing while Specs speaks]

S: God, there’d be some sort of Powerglide pun in there somewhere.

O: Ugh, you know it would.

S: [sighs] And then well--uh, so back on topic, Powerglide does indeed chase the pteranodon off but it drops Bumblebee whose jetpack is no longer functioning properly like, it's super beat all to hell.

O: Uh, yeah after you know, being picked up by a pteranodon. Bee does eventually land safely with the help of a palm tree cushioning his impact.

S: It’s a thing, it’s a thing. And okay, I figured out where Powerglide put his stats. He clearly blasts Bee’s jetpack with some sort of ray of healing from his forehead, so magic? Like--he's like, the world's shittiest wizard.

O: Oh god. [laughs] I don't want to think about him being a wizard. He’s like, one of the flim-flam man if he is a freaking wizard.

S: [groans]

O: Yeah! I'm right! I'm right, and should say it!

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs] Anyway, Bumblebee explores the immediate area on, uh, the island that they have crash-landed on.

S: There are a fuckton of dinosaurs here and Bee is promptly attacked by a t-rex.

O: To which, he runs back to Powerglide and sort of jerks him--him by the arm in the direction that the t-rex is now chasing him.

S: Or is coming from, yeah.

O: Is com--yeah, like that the t-rex that is chasing him is coming from.

S: It's like, “Here, here look at this thing it wants to eat me!”

O: [laughs] “Save me!”

S: “Do--do the thing, kick its ass!”

O: Uh, Powerglide transforms and Bee hangs a ride by grabbing on top of uh, Powerglide’s plane mode and they fly off. It looks very uncomfortable.

S: Yeah. Honestly, it's probably messing with Powerglide’s you know, uh, aerodynamic surfaces but okay…

O: The power of magic robots?

S: Yeah. Back at the Ark, Bee and Powerglide have clearly reported the living fossils they ran into to the other Autobots and there, they proceed to insult the Dinobots. You know, like normal--which is kind of sad.

O: You're all terrible, I want you to know this.

S: Yeah...Wheeljack tries to mitigate the general air of disrespect by saying that the Dinobots have good qualities and he's been trying to teach them stuff.

O: Wheeljack is a good Dino dad.

S: Yeah, and then Huffer decides to be a dick about this statement.

O: Yep, yep, shut up Huffer.

S: Shut up Huffer.

O: [laughs]

S: Wheeljack's idea of demonstrating Grimlock’s newfound control over his powers, his--his newfound dexterity, is to have Blaster transform into his alt mode and then have Grimlock change the radio stations...with fire breath or a laser breath or however they refer to it.

O: All this seems like a terrible, terrible, terrible idea!

S: It is, like yes, you can demonstrate his dexterity some other way, dude!

O: That doesn't involve fire and possibly melting your communications officer.

S: Yeah.

O: Grimlock, to his credit does actually succeed in changing the station without incinerating Blaster, much to the chagrin of Ironhide, Trailbreaker, and Sideswipe.

S: They have no taste. They don't like any of those music. But, ah, considering it was changed to a rock station I would expect this from Ironhide and possibly Trailbreaker but Sideswipe--you're a young hip dude!

O: Sides, there is no way you don't listen to rock, I am not buying this for a single goddamn second.

S: Maybe he's more of a pop guy?

O: Oh god, now I'm just like, now I'm just imagining him doing karaoke to Britney Spears songs.

S: [laughs]

O: Thank you, thank you for that came to Britney Spears in my brain! Just imagine him going, “Catch me baby one more time,” or whatever. [Clearly my 90’s card needs to be revoked, because it’s, “Hit me baby one more time.” ~Owls]

S: Yeah.

O: Hust mmm-mmm, perfection and you know he would do it at karaoke just to drive Prowl nuts.

S: Or maybe he likes Dolly Parton?

O: [laughing while trying to talk] JOLENE! [continues to laugh]

S: The rest of the bots and humans in the room proceed to celebrate.

O: Wheeljack in particular seems super proud of Grimlock.

S: [sighs] Of course something has to go wrong, and that thing is Slag and Sludge getting interested in what's going on and then proceeding to bump into Grimlock. Who then begins spewing fire around the room uncontrollably.

O: I love it because Grimlock says, “Slag, Sludge, go away! Me, Grimlock, demonstrating finesse (whatever that mean),” before immediately turning around and destroying something else with his extremely long tail.

S: Yeah...honestly the perspective on that made no sense…

O: It looked way too long. I'm like not really sure what happened there to be honest.

S: Yeah, the situation proceeds to further unravel with the on--with the arrival of the ever curious Snarl and Swoop, who want to come and investigate all this shit.

O: Which, congrats! You lured the first two idiots with the racket, now you've caught the other two.

S: Well, they’re five for five.

O: They are five for five!

S: The Dinobots get dangerously close to Teletraan 1 but Trailbreaker uses a shield to protect it but he like, shoots it and then it hits and sort of spreads and it's weird.

O: Yeah, not really sure how this guy's powers work.

S: Yeah.

O: We see several previously unseen Autobots who rush in to put out the room which is now on fire. The main two we get to see are Inferno, a fire truck, and Red Alert, a fire Lamborghini. Yes really, that's what he's supposed to be.

S: Well, I suppose it was either that or a fire Datsun, or a fire Porsche, or a fire minibot. Do you want a fire miniot? Cuz that's how you get a fire on minibot.

O: [laughs] So, I looked it up, I believe his toy is a police car version of Sideswipe and Sunstreaker’s mold and it literally was listed as like, the police version. Um, but I'm laughing because I'm like oh no--now I'm wondering is there a police version of the Datsun or the Porsche, or the minibot?

S: Well, there could be a police version of the Lamborghini in Italy.

O: Well isn’t Prowl--what is Prowl?

S: Prowl’s a Datsun.

O: Oh, Prowl’s a Datsun...then we already had a po--we already had a police Datsun!

S: Yeah, so it's just--I don't think--cuz, like Crown Victorias were like, the main police car.

O: Oh, yeah.

S: Now there's Mustangs and stuff and I've never seen a Lamborghini.

O: Yeah, like it's just...there would never be a fire Lamborghini.

S: Well, let me look this up. Cuz I now want to know if there's a police...no, let’s see...oh my god! Italy's newest police car is a Lamborghini as of 2017.

O: That's still 30 years too late I'm not looking at it! [laughs]

S: Well, there could be other Lamborghinis there, but a Lamborghini makes sense for--

O: Like, Italy.

S: Yeah. Ratchet is rather resigned to having to repair the entire room now with Sparkplug offering to help. Well, he's also got Grapple.

O: Oh yeah, Grapple’s in here.

S: Yeah and um...shoot I forget his name...Hoist. Grapple and Hoist.

O: The Dinobots however, continued to blunder around with Sideswipe getting the brilliant idea of fighting them to a standstill.

S: [sighs] I mean that is basically...that--that is basically his entire modus operandi. Slamming shit until it stops being a problem.

O: True. Uh, then the red idiot brigade rush in like well, idiots. This being Sideswipe, Cliffjumper, and Ironhide.

S: Well, they did decide to color code their hot heads.

O: They did! [laughs] They did! Well, paint them all red, they're idiots.

S: Yeah, thankfully they are stopped in their tracks by Optimus Prime. And Optimus has Grimlock bring the other Dinobots to heel.

O: He actually shows some modicum of respect and trust towards Grimlock here, wow.

S: It's an improvement.

O: Definitely is.

S: They then get the brilliant idea of sending the Dinobots to the newly discovered island. Where they'll be less likely to break shit or at least shit the Autobots care about.

O: [laughs] Yeah, uh, cutting away we see that Ravage and Soundwave are eavesdropping on the Autobots as they exit from the side of a mountain. Why do they even have this?

S: I guess they wanted a backdoor. They wanted somewhere where they wouldn't be mobbed by paparazzi.

O: [snorts]

S: Except you never see the paparazzi.

O: I feel like there should be paparazzi. I mean if giant alien robots landed on earth I feel like paparazzi would be all over that shit but--

S: Either that or someone that wants to sell magazines--we've already discussed the magazine subscription sales.

O: Yeah. Wheeljack and Ratchet uh, being good parents actually wish their babies luck.

S: They're sending their kids off to summer camp.

O: It is kind of what it feels like, yes.

S: Yeah, I except there aren't any moderators.

O: Yup, yup, we are leaving we are leaving the babies in charge of the babies.

S: Oh god no, they're basically sending them off to…

O: Live in the woods for a week? [laughs]

S: More or less! They're basically doing what Izumi did with the Elrics.

O: [laughs] Yep, yep, yep, that’s close.

S: Oh god, except now--now Spike hops into Powerglide, to come with them, like--

O: Why--why aren we bringing the squishy?

S: He wants to sightsee, unfortunately he didn't bring any goddamn camera. Cuz, you know Chip would be all over this.

O: Yeah, Chip would like to see this!

S: I guess we needed a the human element.

O: Well, that human element’s gonna end up smeared across the bottom of either the organic, or the robot t-rex, I fucking guarantee it.

S: Unfortunately yeah, or he's gonna puke everywhere because you just know Powerglide's gonna pull a freaking rodeo with every goddamn ride he takes this kid on.

O: Ohhhhh yeah. Spike does actually put on a seat belt here which is kinda new. [laughs]

S: I figure planes would have some sort of restraint device even in the 80’s, but who knows.

O: That's my guess, that's our guess anyway.

S: Soundwave comms Megatron about the mysterious island discovered by the Autobots.

O: And clearly it’s shit on Starscream hour, as Megatron insinuates at least some Decepticons don't disappoint him.

S: At some point somewhere some version of Megatron has to have, “All of you disappoint me,” mug, or something.

O: Oh my god! Yes! Now I want that, I want a mug--I want a tiny mug of that, to hand my G1 Megatron.

S: It’s just--

O: He absolutely has that mug! I don't know this one has that mug but one of them's got that mug!

S: Yeah.

O: Maybe Prime Megatron?

S: [snickers, following by unintelligible audio]

O: Soundwave’s like, sipping his own shit that says like, “#1 Communications Officer,” cuz he knows he ain't talking about him.

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs]

S: So Soundwave sends Laserbeak after the Autobot crew, to you know, keep tabs on them. Like a competent communication officer does.

O: Right! Of course, as the Autobot group gets near the island Powerglide decides to show Spike his moves.

S: I called it. I--I freakin called it. Powerglide just cannot resist showboating.

O: But he's a plane! [laughs]

S: Show--show-planing, show-flying?

O: Showing off! [laughs]

S: Yeah. Spike decides to name the new island and he goes with Dinobot Island cuz…

O: Who--who let the 14-year old named shit!?! Guys--guys, Powerglide, you talk all the time surely you can think of a better name than this!

S: He may not care.

O: Of course! And I--I feel like his suggestion would be like, “Let's call it Powerglide island!”

S: Well of course! Cuz the most important person was first on the ground!

O: Or--but he wasn’t! Bumblebee was!

S: Yes, but that was falling, he wasn't the first person to actually set foot on it!

O: Oh god.

S: I don’t know! I don’t--I don’t think I care. [laughs] Ahh..

O: The Autobots land and Laserbeak lands some distance away, still keeping an eye on them cuz again, competent. Competent soldier.

S: One of the locals attempts to buddy up to Laserbeak, but gets eye lasers for their trouble.

O:Laserbeak’s not even remotely in the vicinity of fucking around here, he's got a job to do! Laserbeak also conveniently pulls out his camera as Spike starts going on about all the energy sources on the island.

S: He mentions an oil pit. How is there an oil pit here? That wouldn't be...safe? But I mean okay, they're probably talking about tar, maybe?

O: I mean like, that's what--what we assumed is that--well, at least it's what I’m assumed, they have to mean tar pit! But I'm still not sure how that's a source of energy?

S: Well, I mean, I guess there's enough thermal energy but I don't get how they’d get it. Who the fuck knows.

O: Or at least how would that be less difficult than like, I don't know--solar energy in the middle of the fucking ocean?

S: Or wind power--

O: Or wind power--

S: --or you know, water power.

O: --or wave power--

S: Hydrodynamics?

O: --or whatever! A zillion other things that the Decepticons could be doing under the radar and not being caught with!

S: They’re dumb robots and it's an 80’s cartoon. We've already had discussions about that.

O: Oh, so many. Of course, the first thing Powerglide says uh, is that, “It's a good thing those Cons don't know about this!”

S: Well, it's already been jinxed.

O: Yep! And not 30 seconds later Powerglide has a horrifying realization that he has lost the human.

S: He's a really bad babysitter, he can't be trusted.

O: Clearly not. Cutting back to Spike, he is immediately picked up by a giant green dinosaur out of nowhere.

S: One that obviously doesn't have a basis in reality. I mean it looks like a weird dragon.

O: Minus, you know, actually like, being able to breathe flame. He is then dropped into a nest with some absurdly huge eggs like, way too big for the dinosaur that has dropped him in there.

S: Maybe it's the dad that dropped him in and the female is bigger or something. Maybe they're like kiwis? I don't know.

O: I think you're giving this show far more credit than it deserves. [laughs]

S: Swoop comes in for the rescue.

O: That's because Swoop is a good birb!

S: Spike gets dropped off near a lake, with Swoop telling him to be careful before flying off.

O: Nessie then rises from behind Spike and grabs him in their mouth, swimming off.

S: Oh plesiosaurs,I'm surprised the Autobots didn't decide to ah, build someone based off of one…

O: Hee, hee, hee, Paddles !

S: Powerglide and the Dinobots here Spike screaming and run over. Except, I don't know--Powerglide flies for like two seconds--

O: [laughs] Yeah for a whole two seconds, he is extremely gung-ho for a rescue until he spots the giant water monster and then he's like, “Uh, how about you guys do it instead?” to the Dinobots.

S: Yeah. Spike is then rescued by Sludge after Nessie drops him. And in a blissful moment of sanity, Spike decides to return home as he is tired of being dindins.

O: Yeah, for once a competent decision was made, weird. Laserbeak, uh, after you know, presumably getting all of this on video, returns to the Decepticon base where he displays the recorded information for Dinobot Island to the rest of the Cons.

S: Megatron, well clearly Megatron's been taking notes from his comic iteration here as his badge is bright red.

O: [laughs] For like one shot. Megs is gunning --get it, get it, because he’s a gun? For a takeover of Dinobot Island but Starscream, who clearly does not want to be a flying dino dinner, objects.

S: Regardless, Megatron orders an attack in some completely ridiculous, amazing, visual framing. Megatron is just standing there, in the middle of the group, with an arm up in a victory pose, flanked by two Decepticons on either side, with Thrust (whom we haven't met yet) framed by Megatron's magnificent thighs.

O: That placement seems so, so phallic.

S: Especially considering his name.

O: Yes, but it gets worse because Thrust is one of the Coneheads which means he has you know, a pointy head.

S: Yes.

O: Which only makes this worse, or better, really, depending on how you look at it.

S: To--to clarify, Thrust is way in the background and he's not like, lying on a stomach between Megatron’s thighs--

O: No, but he's like, he looks tiny in the distance and he’s right under Megatron’s crotch!

S: Yes.

O: And I’m just like--why did you frame it like that!?! [laughs] Back on Dinobot Island, the Dinobots are training.

S: Grimlock does not have the vocabulary for this.

O: What do you mean Specs, “Do flying stuff!” sounds plenty descriptive to me!

S: It's pretty descriptive, but it's not you know, good for specifics.

O: The Cons land, uh, Megatron being a dick to Starscream.

S: When isn't he?

O: Oh, never really.

S: And then Starscream mentions being worried about the bizarre energy waves.

O: Because you know, scientist and shit, right?

S: They actually remembered he did that.

O: Yeah, I know, right?

S: The group splits up to gather Energon from the various energy sources on the island.

O: Starscream uh, proceeds to freak the fuck out as the weather begins to de--destabilize, but Megatron just points at him and tells them to get back to work.

S: From the air--Swoop the spots the Decepticons from the air.

O: Grimlock uh, after Swoop gets back and tells them this, orders the rest of the Dinobots to attack.

S: Meanwhile, Spike and Bumblebee are coming out of a library with some lovely, lovely research in hand. Which we couldn't read the titles of--but it made no goddamn sense.

O: It was gibberish. Yeah like, what we could see it was just complete gibberish.

S: Yeah...

O: Suddenly, a portal opens up and some barbarians riding motherfucking mammoths come through. I don’t know who the voice actor is here, but they are clearly just making silly noises into the mic and it is amazing. [laughs]

S: Yeah. I don't know what time period these barbarians are supposed to be from, we a--we had a discussion, but apparently they've got some metalworking going on cuz--one of them was wearing a horned helmet.

O: Yeah, and it's just like, I don't even know, but okay?

S: Disarray ensues as giant mammoths proceed to fuck with traffic patterns.

O: Spike says that mammoths just haven't existed for, “Fifty thousand years!”

S: Oh honey, most of them didn't die out about--until about you know, ten thousand years ago. So you're super off Spike!

O: Some of them actually survived and until longer too! [laughs]

S: Yes, but that was a very small population on a very, um…

O: Isolated island, essentially.

S: Yeah. They probably had some issues at the end.

O: Sounds like it. Spike and Bee escape into a dilapidated building for cover but the mammoths ram the building, and it comes down on top of the two of them.

S: Yeah, that's bad--that’s baaaad. Back on Dinobot Island, Megatron uses some well-placed blasts from his fusion cannon to create a stampede of you know, regular dinosaurs to herd the Dinobots off a cliff.

O: The Dinobots can fly? They literally flew earlier in this episode. Did--did, everyone here just collectively dump that fact from their brain?

S: I mean, the robots pretty frequently forget they have abilities but at least these guys are babies, so we can kind of forgive them. Also, they may not be able to fly and in their alt modes with the exception of Swoop, so I don't know.

O: Yeah, but I don't know why they wouldn't transform.

S: We don't know what the reaction times are when they're startled.

O: That’s true.

S: And maybe they don't want to hurt uh--uh the other dinosaurs.

O: I'd be more willing to believe that but I still think transforming and jumping up in the air would be faster.

S: It would, it would, but I don't know we're not--we don't exactly have a view into the minds of these giant robot children. And the Dinobots unfortunately, fall into a tar pit.

O: Because of course they do!

S: Yeah. Including poor Swoop, who only fell in because Grimlock basically fell on top of him. [sighs]

O: Poor Swoop.

S: Yeah.

O: And that's where today's episode ends. Join us next time for more time warps, cowboys, barbarians, and pirates galore!

S: Yup.

O: So, do we have some fanfic recommendations for today?

S: Yes, we have two of them. Uh, the first is Pounce by eerien_sadow. Uh, it's in the G1 cartoon continuity, rated K, um, it’s Gen. There aren't any pairings and the characters are Swoop and an unnamed Decepticon. And the summary is: An infiltrator attempts to escape the Autobots. And I basically decided on this because Swoop, because unfortunate things happened to Swoop in this episode.

O: Poor baby.

S: And it's a oneshot, it's also very, very short um, less than 600 words, I think? So it's a nice little bite. And uh, second recommendation is Wild Man's World by Harpokrates. It’s in the Transformers’ War for Cybertron continuity, it's rated K, Gen--even though it was written for a rare pair bingo. There is no overt shipping or anything. The closest you get to it is someone giving someone else a bouquet of crystals and that's more, “I would like you to feel better,” than anything else, so yeah. There's no pairings, our characters are Perceptor, Grimlock, Ratchet and Slug.

And in summary: They made it off of Cybertron but that doesn't mean all of their problems are solved. Preceptor juggles morals, obligations, Insecticons, and Grimlock. And well, I picked this one because it's got Grimlock in it, but it also has the rest of the Dinobots which I thought the way--the way--the way they're handled is pretty different from you know G1 but I liked it.

O: So uh, if you're not aware uh, War for Cybertron is a PlayStation 3 game. The continuity--it's technically in the Aligned continuity which is technically supposed to like, encapsulate the video-- the War for Cybertron/Fall of Cybertron, Prime, and Robots in Disguise, and Rescue Bots. But I feel like the video games feel pretty distinct. Uh, but so, the way they handle the Dinobots in the game is pretty different and the Dinobots never show up in Prime or Robots in Disguise, really so...

S: Well, they do have Grimlock in Robots in Disguise

O: It's not the same Grimlock.

S: Yeah.

O: It's not the same Grimlock, which is this whole other kettle of fish. So--it--it--they definitely are handled differently because in the game they were normal Autobots that were captured by uh--

B: Shockwave.

O: And his experimented on.

S: Okay, yeah, this deals pretty heavily with the aftermath of the experimentation at least on Grimlock.

O: Yeah, yeah, cuz basically--they did not have dinosaur alt modes before Shockwave got ahold of them. And whatever Shockwave had done had really, really fucked with Grimlock’s mind.

S: Yeah. As will be very, very evident if you read this. Which it was good I reckon--I definitely recommend it, and yeah, it's--it's what you haven't read yet.

O: Yeah, I need to read this one cuz I actually--I really--I'm very fond of Perceptor anyway so...

S: Yeah, and I mean, you've actually played War for Cybertron, which I haven't.

O: I keep thinking I should play it while you're over or something cuz I do think you would enjoy the plot, but it's a first-person shooter so I'm not sure how interesting it is to watch.

S: It's--they might have had it available on computer at some point?

O: They did originally, but because the copyright--

S: Oh, yeah--

O: --they, uh. Was it EA? Whatever company had it lost the copyright.

S: Yeah.

O: Um, so they pulled the digital releases. Now the only way to get it is a hard--is a hard copy, and the only hard copies I could find were on PlayStation.

[Happily, it appears I may be wrong about this for War for Cybertron and Fall of Cybertron! Even thought it’s delisted on Steam I could still find downloadable copies available on Amazon for the PC, and the Steam codes they give you still work in Steam. Unfortunately, this doesn’t appear to be the case with Devastation, which was my favorite out of the 3 more recent games. D: ~Owls]

S: Yeah, which I mean, I guess, I could theoretically get a PS--actually I want a PS4 I guess, because I kind of want to get the new Spider-man game.

O: Yeah, you can't play PS3 games on it.

S: Oh.

O: It's--they’re not backwards compatible, that's why I have both.

S: I hate that.

O: I know, I know, I feel ya!

S: Okay, let's get back on topic.

O: Sorry! ~Tangent!~

S: And I believe we have art recommendations.

O: So for fanart today we have Misaki, who does a variety [of art]--I've seen Animated, IDW, some Beast Wars stuff. They have a very simple, cute style there's a lot of Animated art or characters done in the style of Transformers Animated. Uh, they've also been doing quite a bit of TMNT stuff as of the time I uh, took my notes for this. Uh, oday we have linked a Transformers Animated style Dinobot, a neat looking Soundwave, and Rodimus not wanting to work.

S: He wants to play hooky.

O: He does, its Rodimus. Hooky is like, his default state of being.

S: [chuckles] And that just about wraps it up for us today! Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as a Afterspark-Podcast, for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as a AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and YouTube just to name a few. Till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

#afterspark podcast #transcript #g1 episode 19

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