#there are moments where it's like.... yeah! that's a man who knows how to look at a woman!
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The squeak of Dustin’s sneakers fades away as he heads back to the hospital parking lot, where his mom’s waiting for him.
Eddie watches the door to his room swing shut—the movement as boisterous as Dustin’s entrance had been; for the whole visit, he’d acted almost as if nothing had ever happened.
“You know,” he says once the door’s fully closed, “I kinda thought he hated me.”
He tries to make it come out like a joke—maybe then, it won’t hurt quite as much. He should’ve known that Steve would see straight through it.
“That’s not fair,” Steve says quietly, from where he sits in the corner of the room—arms folded, eyes sharp.
The silence feels damning. Eddie doesn’t dare break it: just sits there and lets it sting.
But then—
“That’s not fair,” Steve repeats, a little softer, “to him or to you.”
Eddie can’t look him in the eye. If he does, he’s going to say something that’s true but hurtful nonetheless—and God knows, he’s done more than enough damage already.
Steve sighs. Eddie can’t work out how to read him.
Maybe if he just keeps staring at the clock on the wall, Steve will give up and leave, and Eddie can keep it together until he knows that he’s alone.
“When are you going to stop?” Steve says and, damn it, Eddie’s resolve breaks in an instant; his head turns, but now Steve’s the one who’s not looking, his gaze fixed on the ceiling like he’s trying to memorise it.
(Fourteen hairline cracks on the tiles. Eddie’s counted.)
“Stop what, Steve?” Eddie says shortly. Maybe this will work instead: if he manages to hold that awful, flat tone for long enough—
“When are you going to stop punishing yourself?” Steve says. His eyes flicker across the ceiling tiles.
Eddie swallows. Forces out, hoarse, “That’s not—”
“Not what?” Steve interrupts. “Not what you’re doing?” He shakes his head a little, and his voice lowers. “You’re acting like they’re right.”
Eddie grits his teeth; he asks even though he already knows. “Like who—”
“You do know you didn’t kill anyone, right?” Steve says bluntly.
For a horrible moment, Eddie can’t breathe. “I—yes,” he says; it’s wrenched out of him like an involuntary reflex, the thought playing in his head over and over at the boathouse, then at Skull Rock—I didn’t do it, I didn’t, please, please—until it sounded less and less like the truth, and more like desperation.
“Then what?” Steve says. His head tilts down—he looks right at Eddie, eyes blazing like a challenge. “What is it? What is so fucking terrible, Eddie, that you’d—”
“What d’you want me to say, man?” Eddie says, exhausted. “I—I hurt—”
His voice cracks; he can’t get through it, can only think about what he wasn’t meant to have seen: a nurse opening his door too wide, and in that split second, catching a glimpse of Dustin frozen in the hallway, Steve crouched down in front of him, speaking too softly to hear; how Dustin’s shoulders shook; you did this, you—
“You don’t think I wish I could take it back?” Steve says.
The words pull Eddie right out of his head. Cautiously, he asks, “What?”
“Because I would,” Steve continues, like Eddie hasn’t said anything. “I’d take it back in a second.” There’s a harsh scraping sound: the chair legs dragging against the floor as Steve stands, like he suddenly can’t bear being still. “I think about it every day. If I hadn’t—” He stops abruptly, like the words have got stuck somewhere painful. His jaw works once, twice. “If I hadn’t left you to—”
“Don’t,” Eddie gets out, pleading. His hand twitches on the bedsheets uselessly; he’s too far away to…
In so many ways, he wishes he was stronger.
“Steve, you—you can’t do that to your—”
“Right,” Steve cuts across with a humourless laugh, “yeah, exactly,” and Eddie gets the feeling that he’s walked right into a trap without realising. “So you don’t get to, either.”
”Steve—”
“No! No, I’m not gonna just watch you fucking hate yourself for—for what? For being scared? For doing the best you could to—” Steve shakes his head again. “Dustin, he—he knows you were… I would’ve done the same thing.”
Eddie can hardly argue the point. He can hear from the strain in Steve’s voice just how much he means it.
And then Steve scoffs slightly, glancing up at the ceiling again—a fragile smile, like it’s only there to keep himself from crying.
“There’s—there’s so much—God.” He drags a hand down his face. “So much blame, Eddie. All the time.” He gets that awful, distant look to his eyes, the one that reminds Eddie that he was thrown into a story in its last horrific chapter; there are things he doesn’t know, but when Steve looks at him, he can feel an echo of the pain in his chest. “And I’m so sick of it.”
“I’m—”
But Steve interrupts before Eddie can voice it: a weak laugh then, “Jesus Christ, haven’t you been listening? Don’t apologise. It’s enough that—that you’re alive.” Steve swallows, steps back. Jerks his head to the door, “Dustin—he’ll be okay, I swear, just give it time. Before you—it kinda, uh. It was awful?” His voice goes up, but not in question, not really: more like he’s the one trying to joke around it, now—because anything else is too much.
It’s another story Eddie isn’t privy to. But he can read it in the way Steve’s eyes trace the ceiling. In soft words exchanged just before a hospital room.
The guilt doesn’t fade, not yet. But its grip eases around his heart. Makes room for…
“Hey,” Steve says shakily, like he’s crying, too. “Eddie, it’s okay. It’s okay.”
Hands are on Eddie’s face, and maybe it should be overwhelming—but all Eddie can feel is something like forgiveness.
“It’s enough,” Steve whispers. “Eddie, I promise you. Please. Please let it be enough.”
Eddie can’t speak. But he gathers Steve’s shirt in his fist; and you, he means, and you.
And maybe Steve hears it, because he sighs like he’s finally let go of something—like he, too, has been cleansed.
#in which healing is messy and hard but so worth it. always worth it#they love each other#pre steddie#eddie and dustin#steve and dustin#steddie#steddie fic#steddie ficlet#eddie munson#steve harrington#steve x eddie
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For the Ship and Sentence: Ship: BuckTommy (love them). Sentence: The wind rippled through Tommy’s hair and he sighed as he wrapped his arms around his husband as they laid on the beach.
BuckTommy
The wind rippled through Tommy’s hair and he sighed as he wrapped his arms around his husband as they laid on the beach.
Well, hopefully husband. If they ever got to that part of the whole married thing. Which seemed farther and farther away with each passing venue they had visited and immediately decided wasn’t for them.
Tommy didn’t care. He would’ve been happy anywhere as long as Evan was there with him.
Eddie had warned him. Tommy had seen his fiancé with a clipboard before but he’d always been privy to the “you’re the exception but only ‘cause you’re cute” rule. Nothing had prepared him for... Well.
To be honest, it hurt more than anything. Not because Buck was unbearable or because Tommy didn’t feel heard about the wedding preparations. If anything, Tommy had to remind Evan that what he wanted mattered too and it was okay if he didn’t like something that Tommy did. It hurt because it didn’t feel like there was anything he could do to make it better.
Evan wasn’t sleeping. He was stressed. He was overwhelmed. He was stubborn. His sister had offered to help him find a wedding planner but Evan had pointedly refused to even consider it until absolutely none of the venues had passed whatever standards Buck had set on one of his many many sets of notes. The clipboard had quickly been upgraded to a binder and any time he asked if he could help, Evan just waved him off with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. What was supposed to be a day of celebration and fun was poking at Evan’s side like a thorn he couldn’t pull out no matter how many times he tried. And nothing quite seemed to be able to soothe him. He tossed and turned in Tommy’s arms until the sheets were tangled around them. His eyebrows knitted together like he was fighting off a headache every time he so much as looked at flowers. The to do list seemed to be growing, not shrinking, and under no circumstances was anyone allowed to bring up that they still hadn’t set a date.
Tommy still hadn’t quite forgiven Chimney for causing that particular downward spiral.
It was supposed to be fun and it hurt Tommy more than anything that Evan wasn’t having fun and there wasn’t a thing Tommy could do to help.
Sure, Tommy had dreams. He had little touches on the reception and ceremony he had opinions on. He never thought he’d get the chance to even get this far to begin with. But all that mattered to him was that he got to tell the world that Evan was his. That this adorable, gorgeous, kind man had said yes to forever with Tommy and Tommy loved him so much that it was a miracle he didn’t implode.
He just didn’t know what Evan was trying to prove. Or rather who he was trying to prove the mysterious point to. Frankly, Tommy didn’t care.
The only person who mattered was in his arms.
“Breathe baby,” Tommy murmured into Evan’s ear. Evan breathed out as he fell back into Tommy’s chest and Tommy pressed a kiss to the soft skin beneath his ear. Inch by inch the tension that had been lingering beneath his skin melted away and Tommy watched as Buck dug his toes into the sand.
Trying to tear Evan away had taken a lot of bribery and some gentle manhandling and he’d only agreed to get in the car when Tommy had told him he had another venue they could look at but they only had a very small window to get there.
A little white lie. Or maybe not so much. He’d just managed to get them parked and to the beach before the sunset on the horizon and the colors bled into the sky when Evan shot him a look that said he was busted. It was just meant to be a distraction really. A moment of peace where Evan could turn off the miles and miles of thoughts racing through his head.
“It’s perfect,” Evan said and Tommy squeezed him even tighter as he stared out at the tide.
“Yeah,” he agreed because it was. Because anywhere with Evan in his arms was.
But that spot on the beach? Well it had plenty of space to fit their loved ones too.
#evan buckley#tommy kinard#bucktommy#the ally and the beast#my fic writing#prompt game#Laundryandtaxesworld#royal decree
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Hi! Could I request a Percy Jackson x Daughter of aphrodite reader angst? (this request is inspired by another fic hehe) Where the percy jackson asks the reader to help woo Annabeth (you can decide how if you decide to do this) since she's A daughter and aphrodite and immediately Assumes that she's a master in the love department but the thing is the reader has a huggers crush on percy but she decides to help him out because everyone in camp knows that percy and annabeth are made for each other (just thinking about helping your crush get on with their crush makes my heart acheee😫 Againn if you decide to pick this up you can decide on the ending!!) That's all I wantttt~~ take care of yourself!!!
“ falling feels like flying (til the bone crush) ”
percy jackson x daughter of aphrodite 🌊
a/n i <3 writing percy fics just so i can use a pic of logan lerman (he’s so pretty)
⚠️ extreme and painful longing
˚ ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ ⋆
He was so pretty. And that’s coming from a daughter of Aphrodite. Y/N was always admiring him from afar. His black hair that would occasionally be swept away from his face as the wind blew, causing the perfect view of his perfect features. It was confusing how a guy could look that beautiful.
She knew she wasn't the only one who felt that way, of course. Lots of girls had crushes on him. Most prominently, the prettiest daughter of Athena. Who, as if on queue, approached Percy as he was training. She had her curls in a ponytail, no makeup, just sweat that somehow made her glow. She didn't try. And he looked at her like she was all that he worshiped.
“I cant believe youre jealous of her,” one of y/n’s sisters commented.
She scoffed, “I’m not jealous of her,” she faced the other girl, “she’s just a bookworm, who happens to look like if Kate Hudson and Taylor Swift had a baby who was Victoria’s Secret Angel.”
“Mermaid man, twelve o’clock.”
“What?” She turned around to see the son of Poseidon approaching her. She awkwardly flipped her hair to be in front of her shoulders, then a little behind her shoulders, then-
“Y/N! I wanted to talk to you,” he greeted, sitting next to her.
Her sister smirked before walking off with a wink. Her heartbeat quickened, her mind going stupid, “Percsty!” She smiled.
“I have to confess something to you, no one knows, so please don't tell anyone, okay?”
She quickly nodded, “anything, yeah of course. What is it?”
He bit his lips. Oh gods. “I was wondering if you could help me impress Annabeth.”
Heart? Shattered. Brain? Broken. Lungs? Zero air, absolutely nothing.
“You like her?”
He blushed, looking down and fidgeting with his hands, “I do.”
“I can help,” dumbass, “one of the perks of being Aphrodite’s daughter.”
With that, she found herself in cabin three, under terrible, terrible circumstances.
“What’s her favorite flower?”
He thought for a second, “irises.”
Y/N wrote that down in her notebook, which she would promptly be burning at the campfire tonight. The stress was taking her over, she was ready to tear off the pink fluff ball that sat atop the pen.
“Food?”
“Extra olive pizza.”
“Gag me with a spoon,” she blurted as she wrote.
“What?”
“What?”
He leaned back on his bed, “you think she’ll like this? I’m not even sure if she likes me back.”
“Trust me,” she sighed, “she does.”
“I dont know.”
“Percy, she does,” she snapped, “especially I planned this whole thing.”
“Thanks for that, by the way,” he grinned, “I really wanna make sure she likes everything.”
“She will,” she reassured. “You know, I never really pegged you as a romantic.”
“Me neither,” he sighed, “but when it comes to her, gods.”
Y/N frowned, “you really love her?”
He stuttered, “I mean, love, that’s a big word. I- uhm- love her- I don’t,” he took a breath, “I do.”
The only way I can explain what y/n thought in that moment was something along the lines of, “alfkhgnlkhsjk.”
She looked next to him from where she was sitting. That’s when she noticed the framed picture on his bedside table. Him and Annabeth, two years ago it looked to be. His arm around her shoulder, both of them seemed to have been laughing when the candid was taken. That's when it hit her. The bright smiles on their faces were the ones she only ever saw when they were together. Like they both had smiles reserved for the other.
She looked back at the green eyes that were looking at her, “I can tell.”
She stood in the middle of the woods, a few feet away from the camp entrance. She saw the figure approaching her. She reached for her pocket, getting ready.
“Cheese pizza with extra olives?”
She nodded, “yeah.”
“$11.90,” the delivery boy added.
She handed him the money, plus tip, considering he had to come into the middle of the woods for this.
She walked back into camp. Wondering why she was doing this. If she had been one of her siblings, she probably would've tried to sabotage the whole thing. Make sure that Percy and Annabeth never happen. But the way he talked about her? Like she was the center of the universe? She knew she could never compete with the daughter of Athena. His wisegirl.
“You got the pizza?”
She handed it to Percy as he set up the pink irises in a vase, “here,” she muttered, “there’s no change.”
“One pizza costs twenty dollars?” He questioned.
She shrugged, “inflation.” It was kinda depressing. The best revenge she could get was giving an eight dollars and 10 cents tip. She awkwardly played with the skirt of her dress, “I’ll go get Annabeth.”
She hurried to cabin six. She knocked on the door, lucky enough, the blonde opening it, “hey?”
“Annabeth!” she forced a smile, “Percy was looking for you, he wanted you to meet him by the strawberry fields.”
“Oh?”
“Seaweed Brain!” y/n heard the laugh from archery training. She turned around, catching a glimpse of the new couple.
Her hand was in his as they walked. Her nose buried in his shoulder as she giggled. For a second, just a second, he looked back at the daughter of Aphrodite. He flashed her smile, wording, “I owe you.”
Yes, you do.
#percy jackson#percy jackson x reader#heroes of olympus#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson oneshot#percy jackson headcanon#Percy Jackson x you#percy jackson fanfiction#percy jackson x y/n#x reader#daughter of aphrodite#percy jackson fluff#percy jackson imagine#percabeth#hurt/no comfort
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eight: don't let this darkness fool you
Your Hand In Mine | Joel Miller x female reader.
Chapter summary: after the reappearance of the junction, you try and find a way back to some form of normal
Chapter warnings: Reader is a single parent to a teenager, mentions of breakups, discussions of cults/religious movements and violence within these, threat of a gun, tension, lightly implied panic attack/anxiety, 18+ blog mdni,
Notes: Chapter title is from Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan (and the song that I personally credit with helping me through a rough patch last year) Thanks for all of your patience with this chapter - my life irl has been hectic but I'm good!
Word Count: 3.9k
Previous | Series | Next
You can’t even remember how you got home, but you’re in kitchen and somewhere in Jackson right now Sean is talking to your son, trying to explain it all to him and Beau and Joel are … they’ll have killed Ethan by now.
The loss of power, of agency in your own past’s return to Jackson makes you feel sick. You should be the one talking to Gabe, it should be your final blow to Ethan. This is your mess, this is your life, not theirs. Having others involved feels intrinsically wrong and yet, you’re grateful to have them to share this burden. So grateful.
Maria makes you tea in your kitchen without speaking. She’s told you that you can stay, that’s something. You wonder if she’ll ever truly trust you again though.
You open your mouth but you can’t find the words, you don’t know where to start. You selfishly don’t want to talk about it. You feel tired in your bones, in every single part of your body. It’s a weight pulling you down.
What if Jackson is at risk though?
“Will they come after him here?” Maria finally asks.
“I don’t know,” you reply.
“And you don’t recognise anyone here?”
“I’ve been out of that group for almost seventeen years, Maria, I - I don’t think I would know if they were here. Hell, you could be one of them for all I know.” You laugh bitterly and take a sip of your tea. “I don’t know how much he would have told them, he’s secretive. They could be … I don’t know.”
“Okay.”
Maria pauses. If this was a film then this would be the moment where you confess everything, where you bare your soul over tea and cry together. Maria would hug you and tell you everything would be okay, or perhaps say it’s too much, that she was wrong, you do need to leave.
You just have to say something. There are so many conversations you owe people now, Maria included, but in the immediate aftermath you don’t have any words.
Eventually it’s just you in the kitchen with a cold cup of tea and silence as your companion.
You’re alter when Gabriel comes home with Sean and you inwardly count your blessings that he even returned. You wondered if he would.
The silence is protracted and stilted in the kitchen around the three of you. You’re not sure what to expect: anger, upset, hurt, a combination of everything?
Sean has taken his hand of Gabe’s shoulder, has moved to leaning against a counter exactly halfway between you and your son who loiters in the doorway, illuminated by the hallway light.
“We should talk, Gabriel,” you say finally, rising from your chair and placing your cold tea mug down.
“Yeah, I reckon so.” You wonder when he grew up, when he changed from a little boy - your little boy - who believed in myths and legends to the almost man before you. Gabriel folds his arms and looks at the ground. “Was he really -”
“We’re your -” We’re your family you want to say, it’s us and it doesn’t matter about Ethan. He’s irrelevant.
It’s not what he’s asking though and it’s not what you owe him. You are all too aware that one wrong word will send him running like a skittish animal, that every syllable matters right now.
“Yes.”
“I look like him,” he says quietly. “When I looked at him, I could see … I could see it.”
“You look like you,” you say gently, “You’re you and only you, you’re not me and you’re not him.”
Gabriel swallows. “Did - am I-”
“No,” you reply vehemently before he can even finish the sentence.
“So, you don’t regret me?”
You pause, taken aback that your son would ask you this. “You saved my life, Gabriel, I would never regret you. Never.”
“How did I save you?” your son asks, curiosity flashing across his face.
“I knew I was pregnant and I didn’t want that life for you, that’s what gave me the courage to talk to Sean, to find a way out, for something better.” You think maybe with everything that’s happened today, the fact that leaving led to a difficult journey where you gave birth in a bombed-out warehouse and then a more than decade long misadventure in the Kansas QZ can be glossed over. You’re in Jackson, you’re here, right?
“That’s … I didn’t know that.”
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Gabe.”
“But if you had a time machine, if you could erase being with him”
“Then there wouldn’t be you and that’s not a decision I want to erase, that’s not a life I want. Would I have wanted you, just you, in a different world without infected or any of that? Sure, but I’d still want it to be you and without all this around us - maybe you wouldn’t be you and that’s not okay with me. I’m rambling, aren’t I?”
“I - I don’t know what to make of all this. Sean told me … he told me some of it, a lot of it I think, but he said I’d need to talk to you and I want to. I do. I’m just …” Your son looks exhausted, eyes red from crying, his posture more crumpled than you’ve seen it before. “I didn’t know what it was like, I didn’t know why or what or … it’s a lot to take in. There are years, years that you’ve told me different things and it’s all muddled in my head. I’m angry about that, really angry, but I - we can get through it, right? I want us to be honest now, please?”
“Yes. We can talk about it whenever you’re ready,” you say, “I’ll do my best to tell you what I can, Gabe, is that okay? I’m sorry, I’m sorry for all of this.”
He nods.
“I don’t think I can talk about it all any more tonight,” he admits and you exhale slowly. “There’s too much for one night.”
“Today’s been a lot, it’s been … I can’t even imagine how you feel, but I love you so much. Sean and Beau love you and none of that has changed, could ever change in fact. I’m sorry I kept this from you, I wanted to protect you. I never thought something like this, like today would happen.”
“Sean said you all thought this group - you thought that they were around here recently.” Gabriel pauses, “Is that why you broke up with Joel?”
“We needed to be able to prepare, to run if needed. I need you safe.” It’s easier to just stick with that to admit than that being so close to Joel, to this kind and solid man had been too overwhelming throughout it all. That losing him was a suitable sacrifice if you could bargain your family’s safety. That the pain was the appropriate punishment.
“You liked him though,” Gabe says, “you haven’t been like that with a guy for a while. I mean … he’s okay, you were good together or whatever.” From Gabe, this is the highest endorsement any man you have ever dated has received.
“I thought you were at the age where the idea of your parents dating repulsed you?”
“Oh, I am and this conversation is something that’ll I never admit it. I just, I do want you to be happy.”
“You too.” You move closer, wrapping him into a close hug. “You too, kiddo. I was so scared,” you whisper, “I was so scared I’d lost you.”
Relief floods through you, you haven’t lost him, you haven’t.
Maybe there’s a way through this.
Maybe there is a way to stay.
You’re avoiding Joel. You’re avoiding as much of the town as you can actually. In the wake of the Junction’s reappearance to your life, you bunker down in your home like a hurricane is still to come.
It’s been over a week now and your creativity in avoiding the town surely deserves recognition. You’re immune to Gabe’s frowns now, to the whispered conversations between Beau and Sean.
You can’t face it yet.
This isn’t permanent. You know you should speak to Maria and Tommy, to offer some sort of guidance on how to tell if the cult is entrenched in Jackson, rotting your home away from the inside, but Sean seems to be handling that for you now. Everyone around you is treating like a wounded animal, afraid of you either self-destructing or lashing out.
You’re not sure what you’re supposed to do now, you’re not sure what comes next.
The bench calls to you.
You find yourself walking there without thought. You need peace, you need to be in a place where the buzzing in your mind can quieten down and where you can avoid prying eyes that mean well. If Sean looks at you one more time with those giant sympathetic eyes of his, you might scream.
You didn’t expect the bench would be occupied.
“It’s okay,” Joel says as soon as he sees you, “I can go if you want to be alone.”
“No, no,” you say quietly, “I want you to stay, Joel.”
You did that to him.
Guilt courses through your body and you look away from his careful gaze immediately.
It’s quiet at this time of night. So quiet. Even the wind is still tonight and while this serene silence would usually bring you peace, tonight is different. You can feel the weight of all the words you should say, and can’t say, and want to say in your stomach.
You sit down next to him, not meeting his gaze and instead remaining transfixed to the night sky ahead.
“I’m sorry you had to do this,” you finally say, pointing at his hand, “does it - does it hurt?” It’s not the question Joel expected, or even you for that matter.
“Hey,” Joel carefully reaches to touch your arm and then hesitantly withdraws, clasping his hands in his lap instead. “It’s not on you.”
“You can’t mean that,” you protest, “if I had said something to Maria, if I had stopped him before-”
“You can’t do this to yourself,” Joel says firmly, “Trust me, you did - you made the best choices you could then, right? Not just for you, but for your kid and that’s got to be enough. It has to be.” There’s something desperate in his expression, something you can’t understand because his reaction feels too vehement, too firm for the occasion. “You did what you did for your kid and I can’t argue with that, no one can.“
“But I could have changed things. We might still be in danger because of me.”
“We can’t live like that, can’t punish ourselves for things we’d never have known. None of us can. Not now, and certainly not before. It won’t help you. Trust me.” Joel exhales. “I spent years agonising over decisions, over every single move I made the night that - that Sarah - I went through everything I did, what I should have done. If I’d just bought the damn cake, if I hadn’t picked up Tommy, if I hadn’t worked a double. Maybe I could have made a different turning, or I coulda said something else to the soldier and then it would be different. I spent years on that.” Joel exhales. “I tore myself up every way I could over it.”
“It was an accident. It was a tragedy,” you say, “it wasn’t joining a damned cult, or dragging your best friend into it too.”
“And how’d you have known that then?”
“I know, I know all this. Logically it makes sense but it just can’t - I can’t make it fit in my head.” You sigh. “I have blood on my hands.”
Joel looks at his own hands before he speaks, “I don’t think anyone who’s alive now doesn’t.”
“You and Beau shouldn’t have had to -”
“I don’t want a man like that near Ellie, near my town, near the people I lo - care about,” Joel says simply. “Beau was of a similar view.”
“What - no, I - is it wrong I don’t want to know?”
Joel looks at you seriously and shakes his head. “Not at all, not at all.”
“Still, I’m sorry you got dragged into this. I mean, we’re not - not anymore. You shouldn’t have been obligated or anything.”
“Beau let something slip earlier,” Joel says carefully, “That you’ve suspected that group was nearby for weeks.”
“I know, I should have told Maria.”
“Right about the time you told we couldn’t - well, you remember what you said.”
You feel your cheeks heating up. Joel’s a smart enough man, if Gabe had worked it out, of course Joel would have.
You want to say it was because of the Junction, that you still want him. That you haven’t stopped thinking about him since then. Only it’s not entirely true, is it?
You’ve spent weeks in fight or flight, your only thought has been survival. Now people are telling you the worst is over, that you can start to heal again but you don’t know that. Even if it’s true, your body doesn’t know, it certainly can’t feel yet.
You feel on edge, nervous and unsure.
You want to jump onto Joel right now, feel his embrace and touch once more as you pretend the last weeks were just a bad dream. You also don’t want him near you, you’re scared it’s you, that you made Ethan’s worst side come out. He wasn’t a cult leader when you met him after all.
You want Joel, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to jump back in yet. You can’t go from planning an emergency exit, to confronting the man you thought was dead, and then straight back into some sort of mythical romance just like that. Joel might have slayed Ethan, but unlike a fairytale, there are marks on you that won’t immediately heal.
“I am not going pressure you into anything, I just want to say that if - oh hell, I don’t even know what I’m saying.” Joel swallows.
“You can just blame it on being moondrunk.”
“Moondrunk?” Joel asks with a chuckle.
“Yeah, look at that view. Moondrunk.”
“Moondrunk,” he repeats gently. “I mean it though, I- I’m terrible at this, but when you’re ready, if you’re ready …”
“Thanks, Joel.” You wring your hands together. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”
“Live?”
“That simple, huh?”
He smiles wryly, “That simple.”
“So, you’re back at the bench, huh? Haven’t seen you here in a while,” you comment, keen to change the subject.
“I thought you were there first, figured it should be yours. But I - tonight I needed to come here, clear my head. I didn’t know if you’d be here.”
“Are you okay I am?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course.”
You shut your eyes for a moment. For a second you allow yourself to pretend it’s weeks ago, that you and Joel are still together, the Junction a distant memory. For a moment you thought this would be your life now.
Can it still be?
Joel’s still here, he’s patient and kind and good. “When I’m ready,” you begin softly, “when I’m ready, you’ll know.”
You don’t open your eyes but you swear you can feel Joel’s smile. “Okay, that’s okay with me,” he says.
The two of you stay there until sunrise.
It’s the library that finally makes you leave your home. Sean lets slip that it’s been closed since you started your retreat from the town and it pulls at your heart. There are people who rely on the library - it’s an escape for them, or a chance to learn. It feels wrong to keep the place closed, another failing.
The library, like the bench, is a sanctuary for you. Only, unlike the bench it’s for the whole town. It’s a safe and comforting place. You’ve built something there.
“You should go back,” Gabe says one night as he picks at his dinner.
“I should?”
“To the library.”
“Oh.”
“You loved it there and it - it’s your place,” he says simply, “I think you should open it again.” It’s a truly polite way to challenge your new hermit state. You notice Sean and Beau raising eyebrows at each other from the table.
“I- I will.”
“When?”
You raise an eyebrow at your son. “When I’m ready.”
“I think it would be good for you,” he says.
“I will listen to that, Gabe, okay? I just -”
Sean says your name softly and the way everyone in this house suddenly infuriates you. You don’t want their kid gloves or quiet observation, the continued sense that you’re staying inside too long, that you’re becoming someone that they don’t recognise. It’s overwhelming.
“I’ll open it tomorrow,” you say, desperate to make them change the subject, to see that you are okay.
Beau looks over at you with surprise in his eyes. “You don’t have to. I’m sure that Maria can get someone to cover -”
“They’ll shelve things wrong, Beau, we all know that. I’ll - I’ve got this,” you say as decisively as you can muster, before stabbing a potato with your fork. You’re fine, you can do this.
For Gabe, you can do this.
The following morning, you find yourself nervously standing in the empty library. It smells fustier; the tension hangs in the air as you notice the books you were partway through shelving before you left it for the last time.
You curl your arms tightly around yourself and open your thermos of tea with shaking hands. It’s been too long hiding away, you’ve built up nightmares in your head of the Junction running into the library, or Jackson residents turning against you.
No one even glanced at you as you walked to the library this morning.
There’s no one here though. Perhaps word hasn’t got out that you’ve reopened the library yet, or perhaps Maria has told people to give you space when you eventually emerged from your hiding places. You appreciate it and throw yourself into rearranging a display, in picking out books for the school class who usually come by on Fridays.
“Hi,” a voice says from behind you.
You spin around to see Ellie standing ahead of you. Her hands are shoved into her jeans pockets awkwardly and she looks nervous as she meets your eyes.
“Ellie,” you say gently.
“Joel said I should give you space.”
“Did he now?”
“So did Maria in fairness.”
“Right. Of course they did.”
“Do you need space?” she asks as you pull yourself to standing from the floor you were kneeling on.
“Not from you, Ellie.”
“Good, because it’s been a while, man. How much space can you need?”
“You sound like Gabe.”
“Can’t all be wrong, huh?”
“Absolutely, so did you finish that space book?”
“Mmhmm and I’m going to be honest that I may have swapped it for another book while you were out.”
“The library was locked, Ellie.”
“There was a window and I got Ca- a friend to give me a booster. Joel and I had to do it a lot in um, when we were travelling.”
“So you learnt your break in skills from Joel?” You ask, fighting the smile on your face as you make a show of crossing your arms.
“Technically, I was breaking into places with my friend Riley … well, one time anyway. ” Ellie shrugs. “At least I owned up, right?”
“Sure. I feel you’ve pretty much exhausted our collection of books on space though. We could move you on to fiction though - sci-fi, lots of space.”
“That could work.” Ellie purses her lips together, clearly battling against saying something. You wonder what she really came here to say; is she angry that Joel got involved, that you endangered her and the town? Does she want you to leave?
You wouldn’t blame her.
“I’m sorry about what happened with that guy,” Ellie says.
“I should apologise to you, Ellie, you got caught in the middle and you shouldn’t have. None of you should have.”
“It’s not your - it’s nothing, honest,” Ellie says and her sincerity somehow makes you feel worse.
“I appreciate that, Ellie, thank you.”
“I wanted to talk to you, because - because before we came to Jackson, there were these people we came across.”
Your blood runs cold. What does Ellie mean? Did she and Joel come across the Junction, or something worse? Why would she say this? You look at the young girl and wonder what her and Joel’s story really is, the chemical burn, the vehemence at you not being involved that. What happened to Ellie?
“Ellie, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”
“I want to tell you. Do you not want me to?”
“No, it’s fine, I just don’t want you to feel obligated to share something you may not want to.”
“Noted. I’m good though. So this group, they were these … I don’t know, cannibals? but this guy, he was like religious, or so he said and it was -”
“I’m sorry, you ran into a cannibal cult?” you ask incredulously.
“Kinda.”
“Fuck, Ellie.”
“I mean, it wasn’t a cult centred around cannibalism, that was more incidental.”
“Oh, well, that makes all the difference.”
“Right? Anyway, we got away. I - I got away. Joel was hurt before and so I was on my own and I know he feels bad about that.”
“Elie”, you whisper quietly.
“For a long time, I tried to figure out why this guy, Da- he was so … respected and so …. I don’t know. He was dangerous but quiet about it. I always thought the threat would be like a clicker or bloater, something visible. You look at it and you know that’s bad; you know what you’re up against. Plus on our way here I saw so much. Hunters, well at least they don’t hide it. This guy did. I - I almost bought it.”
“I’m sorry, Ellie.”
“It’s fine. It was almost a year ago now. It’s the past.” Ellie pauses and looks up at you. “I just wanted to tell you that.”
“I appreciate that, Ellie.” You take a deep breath. “For what it’s worth, the understanding the guy thing? It’s not like it starts off dangerous, it’s just normal at first, maybe a little different but within respectability. It … appeals to you, this sense of belonging, I suppose.”
“Belonging?”
“I’d never felt like I fitted in anywhere and then the world ended. My parents were …. all I had left was Sean and I didn’t want him to think I was clingy and end up with no-one. So there was this group and it seemed normal. It was normal at first. It was a slow change and then really fast and I don’t want to, I’m not sure if I should - you’re a kid, Ellie.”
“I’m-”
“A great and cool one, and one who’s seen a hell of a lot and is very brave, but you’re Joel’s kid, Ellie.”
“He’s not my - ” Ellie breaks off. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right.”
You scan through the pile of books you were shelving and pass one to Ellie. “Try this one next, I think you’ll love it.”
“Thanks,” Ellie says, saying your name kindly, “I’ll read it next.”
“Well, let me know what you think. I’ll be here.”
Ellie smiles. “Good, I’d hate to have keep breaking in to steal books.”
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#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x female reader#joel miller#the last of us fanfiction#pedro pascal character#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us#your hand in mine fic#fic: your hand in mine
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HIGHSCHOOL SIMON! X READER
Saw this edit and needed to make a canon of this, what if Simon had a GF before he went into the military (and still has)
Simon was invited to a party on Saturday, and to be real, he didn’t really want to go he was considered as one of the weirder but hotter kids, lots of scars, and didn’t like to be seen. Yet he had a lot of ‘friends’, It was a bunch of people who he was friendly with, but wouldn’t exactly call them friends.
The party went on, for the most part it was pretty boring. He stood in the corner, observing. That’s when you showed up. You really popular, they invited you because they all wanted to be seen with you, you had that queen B energy.
He watched you walk into the house, as he had a beer in his one hand, and his phone in the other. He kept his gaze on you, before he noticed people already surrounding you. He stayed where he was in the corner, taking sips from his beer as he watched from the sidelines while leaning on the wall, watching with his intense brown eyes.
He observed as everyone talked with you, like you were their queen. He snorted, they all acted so tough but he knew they all thought you were attractive. Even Simon, but unlike them, he didn’t have any interest in being with you and acting like he was above everyone. He was more on the quiet side who took action through violence if needed, he was intimidating, but not the kind to take advantage of people.
He watched you talk and laugh with everyone, he didn’t know what it was about you but something about your attitude intrigued him, you were beautiful, but there was just something he couldn’t place. So he decided to go for it. As he walked over to you, still holding the beer in his hand. Standing over you. “Hey.” his voice was a low gravely tone, but he also had a bit of a British accent. He spoke to you specifically, he didn’t care much for the friends you had at the moment. They already annoyed him.
Before you could say anything, one of your friends, Mike, scoffed as he smirked at Simon. “What do you think you’re doing here, Riley? You look greasy as always.” Mike taunted, his friends behind him laughing a little as Simon rolled his eyes, still staring at you.
I looked at Mike with an expression that said shut up “oh you’re Simon right? We’re in the same sports class if I remember correctly..”
He nodded his head, glancing back at Mike and his friends, and giving a quick look that said ‘screw you’. Before he looked back at you again.”Yeah, we are.” he said simply as he gave a slight shrug of his shoulders before taking a sip of his beer.
I smiled kindly to Simon “well I must say when those military guys showed up at sports you were amazing! Sadly I got 5th place in their small introduction.”
If you were paying attention you could see a small smile on his face, of course you had to notice it, the man was cold stone to everyone else. “That isn’t unfortunate, fifth place is good, only four others were ahead of you. Besides, fifth place, you were the top four of everyone else in the class, that’s pretty good. I should know, I got first place after all.” He said, taking another sip of his beer.
“How about you come sit down?” He spoke as he nodded over to the couch. “We can have a few beers, and talk. If you want.” He added on as he gave you a small shrug of his shoulders. Of course he thought you were probably the hottest person at school, but he was not someone who would make a move very easily, too shy and collected, so he would wait for you to make a move first, that’s just how he was.
“I would love to my feet hurt in these heels!” I said
He took a seat on the couch, a little nervous, but he felt this was the only way he’d be able to talk with you without your friends around and making it weird. Besides, the way he was sitting, you could clearly see the muscles on his broad chest under the hoodie he gestured you to sit down
He was a little nervous, sure he was sitting down and being cool on the outside but he was a bit of a mess on the inside. He didn’t know what to say next, he knew you were very popular and people probably tried to impress you as much as they could, how was he supposed to impress you? He took a sharp intake of breath, looking down at the beer in his one hand before looking back at you. “You want to try some beer?” He offered it over to you.
I looked uncomfortable at the beer “well uh… I’m more of a cocktail person but sure?”
He blinked his eyes, as it took a moment for his brain to process what you said. In reality he felt like an idiot, he had been so focused on you to realize that you didn’t even like his favorite drink. “Oh, yeah, there are some cocktails in the kitchen, I think.” He chuckled a bit as he took a sip of his beer, still holding the beer out for you to take some sips of.
I shook my head “no! No!” I laughed she really knew how to impress me somehow, the mystery guy has some moves “I need to learn how to drink pints because college is not cocktails but beer pingpong I heard”
Simon was surprised by the fact that he somehow charmed you. He was not expecting to do that at all, but he did, so he kept going, taking another sip of his beer as he grinned a bit in his normal stoic and almost intimidating way. “Well, it would be my pleasure to give you a lesson on beer pong, or any sort of drinking games. I’m not going to college, but I know a few good ones.” He said with a small smirk, leaning back on the couch.
As he leaned back on the couch, he accidentally brushed your arm with his. You could notice how big his biceps were from that small brush alone, this man was packing, as the saying goes.”Are you going on to college?” He asked curiously as he took another sip of his beer, his brown eyes almost drilling into yours as he watched you. His body was tense, but he was still trying his utmost best to be composed. He did not want to mess this up.
I was thinking, no one ever asked me this question “well uh.. I guess I want to go to Umiami or somewhere, but my deep desire is to travel the world.”
His eyes widened a tiny bit, he was clearly surprised to hear that you wanted to travel the world. He took another sip of beer as he nodded his head slowly. “Well, that is quite ambitious. I like that.” He said as he took a moment to think it over in his head. “I’m not so sure I’d want to go to college. It’s not my thing. Traveling the world seems like a much better option though.” He said in his low, gravelly voice as he watched you closely.
As he watched closely, he knew you were definitely popular for a reason. You were the total package, beautiful, good grades, personality, and you were pretty nice to hangout with. Sure he only just met you and this was your first conversation, but he was not exactly the kind of guy who had many friends, so having someone who wasn’t scared of him made him feel different, feel good. He licked his lips. This would have been a good moment, if Mike hadn’t interjected again.
Mike had a big, annoying smirk planted on his face as he watched you in Simon’s peripheral vision. “Having trouble there, Riley?” He mocked in Simon’s direction as Simon scoffed, rolling his eyes. He’d love to punch that stupid face right now, but he couldn’t as you were here, and he was trying to keep up his gentleman look for you, to impress you. “Piss off, Mike.” He stated in pure irritation.
Mike rolled his eyes as he looked towards you now, looking at you with the same dumb smirk. “Hey, how about you ditch this greaseball for the rest of the party? You’d have a much better time with me. I’m the Quarterback after all, I know how to have real fun. Besides, it’s always nice to have the top score girl with me.” Mike bragged as he gave you a wink, trying to impress you with his ‘charm’.
I cringed at Mike, he was mean and had a huge ego. “Mike not now.” I firmly said
Mike’s attitude changed instantly once you spoke up to him, he gave a slight scoff at first before he nodded his head and smirked again. “Alright, alright, we’ll just catch up later, yeah?” He said as he turned, heading back over to his friends. He was trying to put up his cool act, but in reality he was quite annoyed that Simon was able to get you before he did, he had hoped you’d be distracted by the party.
Once he was away, Simon let out a growl. He was really annoyed with Mike, that man was a pain to deal with. He wasn’t sure why he even showed up to the party itself, it was just his luck that the first time he tried to impress someone, Mike would annoy him. “Sorry about him. That man’s an ass, and an idiot.” He scoffed as he took another sip from the drink.
I rolled my eyes “trust me I know, I try to keep it nice because he’s my friend but I understand your feelings.”
Simon nodded his head, he understood keeping it nice because he’s your friend, he wasn’t exactly a friend of Mike’s. “You’re a better person than me because of that, I have no idea how you can put up with that guy. He’s such a pain in the ass, and I’ve only really talked with him a handful of times. I can’t imagine having to deal with him for such a long time.” He scoffed as he looked down at his beer in his hands again.
“How exactly did your friendship with him start, anyway?” He asked as he looked back over to you, his curious nature getting the better of him. He couldn’t understand how anyone could even get along with such an unpleasant person, he just couldn’t understand it, and he wanted to know the answer. How could they end up becoming friends? That was an unlikely friendship if he ever saw one.
I grabbed his beer out of the hand and started drinking, I tried not to give a sour face because this beer tasted awful “same friend group, kind of a hierarchy shit you see in movies I guess..”
Seeing you drink from his beer took him by surprise. He hadn’t expected that, but if he was being honest, the fact that your lips had been on what his lips touched moments before was kind of hot in his mind, he tried shaking the idea from his head. “Oh, I guess that makes a little sense.” He said with a small shrug of his shoulders as he watched you drink again.
I don’t know if it was the beer or just me and I looked at him head to toe “the scars, the hoodie.. why?”
His eyes widen slightly as he looks at you, surprised by your question. He didn’t expect you to ask, most people didn’t. He gave a heavy sigh as he looked down for a moment as if thinking of what to say. “I don’t really like people seeing my scars. They’re not exactly pleasant on the eyes.” He said in a low, gravelly voice as he looked down, his shoulders slumped down as he looked away from you completely.
Seeing him look down made you realize he didn’t exactly like the scars, he was ashamed of them. This made you sympathize for him as you reached out to run your fingers over his left muscular arm. Scars covered it, and he flinched a bit at the feeling, but he didn’t pull his arm away, he simply watched your hand touch his arm.
“It’s not something to be ashamed of, it means you survived something and it has a meaningful story. Keep that in your head from now on.” I said trying to lighten the mood
The feeling of your fingers tracing along his scars made him shiver a bit, but this time it wasn’t from being uncomfortable. He felt good. He let out a small huff of a chuckle. “Well, I guess you aren’t wrong there. I’ll try to remember that next time someone comments on them.” He said with a very small smile creeping onto his face as he looked down at the hand tracing on his scars.
He slowly felt himself relax as he watched your hand slowly trace along his scars. It felt as though your touch was healing in a way, his muscles relaxed and felt less tense. “You sure do know how to make things seem lighter than they are.” He said with a small chuckle as he slowly looked back up at you, meeting your eyes with his brown ones. He couldn’t help it, he was entranced by your eyes, they were hypnotizing.
I smiled and looked in my bag and saw the 2 pre-rolls Mike’s friend gave me earlier in the night I took them out of my bag and lit one up “seems we need to lighten it more. Here have some.”
Simon’s eyes widened, and he looked at the joint you were holding out for him to take. He looked surprised at first, but then he slowly took it, bringing it up to his lips, and taking a long puff and letting out the smoke after a couple seconds, his brown eyes closing as the smoke left his mouth. He took a moment to let that stuff into his lungs before he opened his eyes back up, and looked at you. “I didn’t know you did that kind of thing. Interesting.” He said as he took another puff, a small grin forming on his face.
I chuckled, I loved how he knew nothing at all it felt amazing to just be me “I’m a woman full of surprises”
He chuckled a small laugh as he leaned a bit closer to you as he took another puff, inhaling the smoke before exhaling it out again, he was getting more relaxed around you now thanks to the drugs. “Now that I like.” He said with a small smile, his dark brown eyes looking over you with intense interest and desire, the drugs had just enhanced his feelings for you, and he was feeling them now.
He took another puff as he felt his brain beginning to get clouded, he didn’t care at the moment, all that mattered was being near you and talking with you for now, not whatever else was going on. He was feeling a bit high now, his eyes a bit glazed over and heavy. He looked over you again with a lustful look in his eyes.
His heart was beating faster, the drugs were making him feel a rush, and combined with how beautiful you were making it stronger. He was trying to keep his cool, but his feelings were overriding his cool attitude. “Damn… you’re so gorgeous…” he said in a gravelly voice, the words almost slipping out of his mouth by accident as he exhaled the smoke from the joint. It was a bit of a mistake on his part, but it was what he really felt.
He leaned in closer to you, his head spinning from the drugs and the alcohol combined. However it just felt good. Everything was perfect right now. He leaned in closer to you, still looking at you in your eyes, he didn’t care if you pushed up away, his whole focus right now was just on you. “You’re the only thing around right now that matters..” he said with heavy breath, his intense brown eyes staring deep into yours.
With all caution thrown to the wind, he leaned in to press you into a deep, intense kiss. The drugs and alcohol had affected his brain to the point where he threw any sort of logic away and just followed his emotions fully. He wanted to kiss you so badly, he wanted to hold you and never let go, he never felt this before.
The kiss was intense, his lips on yours, his tongue slipping out and sliding along yours, as he put his arm around your waist and used his other free hand to hold your face. He held the kiss on your lips, he never wanted to stop as his heart pounded in his chest.
I stopped mid kiss “let’s get out of here and go to my car, shall we?” I smiled also being heavily clouded by the pre rolls
His head was still spinning, but he was brought back to reality as you pulled away from the kiss, but his mind was still not fully there. He slowly nodded his head as his brain began to process your question. “Sounds great…” he replied in a breathy and clouded voice as he took a deep puff of the joint before putting it out on the table beside the chair he was sitting in.
With the pre roll out, he stood up and stumbled for a moment, being quite drunk and high at the same time did a number on him, but then he regained his balance. He looked down at you with his hands inside of the pockets of his hoodie as he slowly looked down at you with the same clouded expression and intense brown eyes full of lust and desire, wanting only one thing from you now.
“Lead the way…” he muttered, waiting for you to start towards the front door, his mind filled with nothing but wanting you alone with him in your car, he wanted you all to himself.
As he followed you towards the car, he was still stumbling a bit, but he managed to stay upright and follow you outside to your car. Once he got outside, he took a deep breath of the warm night air and groaned softly, it felt amazing in his lungs. He then continued to follow you over to your car, his eyes never leaving your body as he did.
Once he got to the car, he leaned back against the backseat door as he watched you unlock the car to get inside, his eyes scanning down your body, taking in every inch of you with his eyes, committing that image to memory as he got more and more excited to be alone with you.
As the lock clicked off, he watched as you opened the door, he couldn’t control himself any longer, he couldn’t wait to get inside the car. He lunged at you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you up against him, pulling you in for another deep kiss. His tongue immediately slid across your lips, trying to force its way into your mouth as he desperately made out with you against the side of the car.
His body was pressed up against you as his hand slipped under your shirt, feeling your bare skin against his hand as he slowly slid his hand further up your body. He deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding along yours passionately as his body burned with need for yours, he needed you now, more than ever.
As his hand slid up your stomach, he felt your muscles underneath your skin, he felt you shiver a bit under his touch, which made him almost melt. He continued sliding his hand further up, wanting to feel more of you. He was so hungry for you now, he couldn’t get enough of you.
Suddenly, his hand reached your breast, he gasped slightly as he felt it under his palm, the feeling of you made him feel as though he had gone to heaven and back all in a matter of seconds. He groaned softly as he deepened the kiss further, his body pushed up against yours as he got even more desperate for you.
As he felt your breath on his face, he couldn’t take it anymore. He needed you, now. He kissed you even rougher for a few more moments before he pulled away, his breath heavy and his eyes cloudier than ever before. “Get in the car…” he mumbled, his gravelly voice low and huskier than before as he watched you with hazy, intense eyes.
As he said this, he quickly pushed the passenger side door behind him open before he wrapped his arm around your waist a bit roughly to pull you into the back seat of the car with him. He slammed the door behind him, his hands still holding onto your waist as he sat you down right in front of him.
I got rid of my shirt and skirt I was so hazy from the drugs yet I wanted him, the feeling of his muscles were amazing.
As you climbed into the car in front of him, his hands still holding your waist as he pushed you down on your back on the back seat. His brain was foggy from the drugs and alcohol, and his body was completely overwhelmed by his own desire for you. As you got rid of your shirt and skirt, his eyes widened slightly and his mouth went slack, looking at you. He couldn’t believe his eyes at your sudden boldness.
His eyes slowly roamed down over your now exposed body, taking in every inch of you. He was overwhelmed with the desire to touch you, to taste you, to make you his. He reached out a hand to softly brush his fingers up your thigh, his touch warm and light as he looked down at you, his own muscular body looming over your now nearly naked form.
His eyes roamed again, his fingers brushing higher up your thigh as he slowly reached up further and further to touch more of your bare skin. He slowly moved himself as he got over your hips, pushing his own hips against yours as he leaned down over you, his face right above yours as he hovered above you.
His breath was heavy as he hovered there, his breath mingling with yours as he looked down at you. His hazy eyes scanning over your figure laying underneath him, he couldn’t believe how beautiful you were, it was almost unfair. He slowly leaned down, his head moving to the crook of your neck as he started to trail kisses down it, his body pressing up against yours.
His kisses were soft and heated, as his body pressed against yours heavily, he couldn’t get enough of you. He felt as though he was obsessed and couldn’t get enough of you. His mouth began to move lower, trailing down over your collarbones, across your chest and down to your stomach, his arms slowly running along your sides to feel your skin under his fingertips.
He continued to trail kisses along your skin, wanting to worship every inch of you, wanting to make you feel so good you were left breathless. His mouth moved down, until he reached your stomach, where he began to leave more soft kisses along the muscles of it, his teeth occasionally grazing against your skin lightly.
His body pushed up against yours as he moved down further, his tongue slowly trailing down between your hip bones, the feeling of him against you making you whimper softly, he was determined to make you moan for him, he wanted to hear what all the different sounds you could make would sound like.
And I did I felt so aroused by him “si..” I whimpered
He groaned softly at your whimper, the sound was music to his ears, as he felt his own excitement increase as he felt his own desire growing by the second. His tongue continued to slowly slide against your underwear, wanting to hear more of those wonderful noises from you.
His tongue continued to move, his breaths becoming heavier as his heart beat faster, he couldn’t get enough of you. He needed to taste more, he slowly licked at your underwear, wanting to push further to taste you directly, his tongue slowly began to get you through your underwear and tasted you directly, his body pressing up against you as he groaned softly into your sensitive flesh, his mind hazy with desire for you, he couldn’t concentrate at all, the only thing
That mattered was your reactions to his touches, he slowly pressed deeper with it, his body moving up to be closer to you, his arms moving up and wrapping around your waist, his muscles flexing as he slowly moved, trying to get deeper
His hips moved up yours, slowly, as his grip around your waist tightened slightly more as he slowly grinded against you, needing to feel your body against his, it drove him crazy not having enough of you.
His mouth continued to slowly work at you, his groans into your sensitive area making you quiver at the feeling, his tongue and mouth working together to get you closer to release, he couldn’t get enough of you right now.
“Shit si… undo your pants right now.” I commanded
At your command, he wasted no time in moving right away, his excitement getting the best of him as he groaned and quickly moved his hands away from your waist and down to his pants, undoing the fly of his sweats.
“Just can’t get enough of me, huh?” He said, his voice having that same gravelly sound to it, and a little rougher than usual, he was still so excited, and yet he couldn’t stop that teasing comment from coming out. He smirked as he leaned back down over you, his chest against yours as his hips were now right up against yours.
He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your lips passionately as he let out a little growl against your mouth, his arms wrapping around your waist to keep you close against him as he kept kissing you.
His kisses were rough and a bit needy, you could tell that he was desperate for your touch, and as hard as he tried to hide that, he couldn’t as he moaned softly into your softly into your mouth, he was losing himself to you and he loved it.
His body pressed against you, pressing you down into the backseat as his hands moved up you, touching and feeling your skin, he couldn’t get enough of touching you, his hand slid a bit up your back to feel along your spine.
His kisses were needier now, deeper, as he let his tongue out to slide across yours, he loved how you tasted, and now he couldn’t get enough of you, he deepened the kiss further as his tongue swirled around yours, his body pressing even closer to yours.
He groaned into your mouth from his own excitement, loving the way your moans tasted in his mouth. He kept his body pressed close to yours as his hips started rolling against yours, moaning softly from just the feel of your body against his.
He started to grind in your cunt, he couldn’t take it anymore and wanted you so bad.
He was huge, a swollen cock with a lot of precum, as he inserts himself (sorry Bridgerton joke) you felt his inches on your walls. It felt amazing, how could such a man who lived in the shadows give the best sex ever?
I moaned and we both were close to release “si.. I can’t.. take it longer..” I moaned him in me felt so good It felt just right
After a while we both had our climax a little after eachother.
The rest was history, all junior and senior year we dated, totally in love. Yet I noticed he started to cover himself more and more, becoming distant. Until I got the news
“I am deployed in the military.”
#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#modern warfare#simon ghost x reader#simon riley smut#simon riley x reader#cod x reader#simon riley#taking care of the big guys who are all so bloody#task force 141#high school sweethearts#modern warefare 2 x reader#cod imagine#codcanon#simonrileysmut#call of duty#call of duty x reader#dead dove do not eat
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That twitter insider and those who believe that are jnterestjng cause yes there's a potential it could be read that way (and I used to be a huge believe of it) but like it can very easily be read as great best friends and nothing else.
I think that people have got so attached to their headcannons they could have eddie stand there marrying the woman of his dream but it would be a big buddie moment bc eddie looked at buck. So many big buddie moments are sometimes taken so out of context I think people forgot what's canon and what they desire for canon.
I remember scoffing about kr's take on the will but now that I've stepped back it's like yeah actually that's valid too. And then you look at moments where people have gone this means buddie canon - like buck supporting eddie in the final ep- and its like I'd be doing that for my friend too?
100% this is exactly it.
Once you allow yourself to start to see specific interactions and behaviors as "evidence" of a character's queerness it becomes harder to UNSEE it because you want to believe the show you're watching is PURPOSELY telling a coming out journey with the utmost care and consideration.
That's why we've got people now who are like "I respect Ryan viewing Eddie as hetero, but that man is begging to be let out of the closet, I'm sorry."
That's why the "insider" is so fucking angry.
He (probably) knows that the "seeds" for Queer Eddie could have been planted in season five, and that Queer Eddie was contemplated again back in January, so when Ryan's saying he's playing Eddie as the straight friend supporting Buck's bi realization this guy clearly just wants to scream something like "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GAY. SHUT UP ALREADY."
I'm gonna cosign something one of my other anons left in my inbox (hey, love!):
Both sides (Ryan and the fandom) can be right if we all accept canon for what it is.
Ryan has labeled Eddie as hetero. He has his reasons. And just going by what we've seen on tv...he's not wrong. Eddie was married to a woman. He still dates women. He still sleeps with women. No queerness to be found (so far).
But is there room for interpretation? Mhmm.
There's nothing wrong with seeing Eddie as queer coded. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that Eddie is still technically straight, but his behavior could ALSO be related to a sexuality arc because ALL people interpret facial expressions and reactions and body language in different ways depending on what they know and are used to.
But when the idea of queer coding turns into "confirmation" that a character is GOING to be canonically queer?
That's how fandom ends up "predicting" canon Buddie every single season, and ends up wrong every single time.
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𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇♡𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄⁰³
summary. you two actually want to reach other a lot better. and it starts with a picture. the first one together.
content. highschool au, fluff, slowburn, childhood friends to lovers, umemiya may seem ooc, little angst.
wordcount. ~2.53k.
❨📁❩ ← previous. ❨🗂️❩ → masterlist. ❨📁❩ → next.
“YOU'RE in the wind, I'm in the water.”
The music from your headphones blasted through your ears as you dipped the brush into the paint, drawing lines on your canvas. One line, two lines. You easily drew a rose as always. Whenever you began to draw, the first thing you can see is a rose. Now again. The same pink colored rose. But then you get a blackout. You don't know what to draw next. So you just let your hand do your thing.
"—Nobody's son, nobody's daughter. Watching the chemtrails over the country club."
And the moment you think you're done, you pull your hand away to see what you've drawn. "Oh." is the only word that escapes your lips while you were looking at the whole picture. You think you have drawn hundreds of the same picture. A rose being held by a man. White hair. Shining blue eyes. Bright smile. It's always the same thing you draw. It's hard for you to not paint him.
"—Suburbia, The Brentwood Market
What to do next? Maybe we'll love it."
You sighed out annoyed as you leaned your forehead against the canvas, causing your skin to get wet by the fresh paint. But you couldn't care less. After last night, you couldn't think straight anymore. The worst part is, you couldn't even sleep. You tried to erase the very existence of that man out of your mind. Yet everytime you closed your eyes, it was the same picture appearing in your mind.
"—White picket chemtrails over the country club."
Curse him. Curse him for everything. You closed your eyes as you furrowed your eyebrows. Hot breath. Hushed whispers. Warm hand brushing softly against your cheeks. The sweetest smile. This man. You're going crazy. You want to punch him in the face and just leave him confused on the spot. And then you'd still worry about how much it hurts. Was the punch painful? Did it even hurt at all.
"Because I honestly would never forget you."
You also wouldn't forget him.
"I'd be crazy otherwise."
How hasn't he gone crazy yet? You're already going insane because of him.
"Quit gawking at me."
"Can't. Too pretty."
Stupid white-haired man. What's up with him and his brain?
"Promise, I'll take good care of the rose."
He won't break the promise, right? Because he's Umemiya Hajime. And Umemiya Hajime doesn't break promises.
"...May I.. touch your face?"
Every word of his is engraved into your head. They are lingering thoughts. Your ears feel hot. And your face doesn't make it better. You're happy nobody can see you in your pathetic state right now. You think you can't look him straight in the eye anymore. What's up with you? You never had a problem when you both had accidental touches the years before. Now you're getting weak knees.
Sighing, you leaned back and saw the painting again. "I don't want to see you ever again." and with that, you just punched the canvas, making a hole in it. "Stupid dude." you muttered before standing up to wash up your forehead. And when you were done, you took your camera and left your apartment without giving it a second glance. Not even bothering to throw it away.
Because the painting only had a hole beside his head.
─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─
You looked at the blue sky and you couldn't even spot one cloud. This is a crime. You were robbed. Where are the clouds who look like cats. You explored the town further to find your inspiration to draw. The people around you greeted you with the friendliest smile while you tried to return it, resulting into a rather awkward one. Gosh how could you only forget that you hated it to be alone on the streets.
"Come over here, boys!"
"—this is our thanks for always saving us!"
"Please visit us again, yeah?"
"You're doing the shopping for Kotoha-chan, right? Take those eggs with you!"
Curiously, your eyes went to the shouting and tumult. But the crowd was so full, you couldn't even see anything. It was probably furin again and you couldn't care less about that school. A sigh left your lips as you walked past them, the grip around your camera got tighter with every second passing. It was loud. Too loud for your liking. And unfortunately, you didn't go unnoticed by the pair of blue eyes.
"[name]-chan?!"
Oh. You should've known he was there when Kotoha's name was mentioned. You should've known. With that, you picked up the pace to avoid public attention and didn't even looked into his direction. But it got so bad, you heard how he literally yelled sorry's while pushing the people around him gently away to get his way to you. "Oh god..." you muttered and began to run away from him.
"U-Umemiya-san?!"
"Hah!? Where is he even going?!"
"[name]-chan!"
You could literally hear the despair in his voice.
─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─
Silently, you hid in an alley while panting heavily. The sweat rolled over your cheek as you wiped it away with your arm. "That... crazy g-guy..." you mumbled and standing straight up again to lean your back against the wall. "He really did shout my name until he couldn't see me. He even tried to follow me." you closed your eyes and sighed out. "But I was enough lucky enough to escape..."
"Ma'am?"
A yelp escaped your lips as your head immediately turned the unknown voice. There stood a tall young man with brown curtained hair and eyes, paired with a leather eyepatch on his right eye and yellow tassel earrings hanging off a red gem on either side. He wore the Furin High uniform layered on top of a light-colored changshan, loose black pants, and flats in the same color for footwear.
"Oh, it seems like I surprised you a bit. I apologize." he gave you a kind smile with his hands behind his back.
"What do you want, brat." you couldn't even hide your distaste for those furin boys and talked like you were a lot older than them.
"Nothing, really. I was just curious why Umemiya-san wanted to follow you." you groaned at the mention of his name. "I assume you both are acquaintance?"
"Please just leave me alone. I have enough of him. And furin. What did I even do to deserve this?"
"I'm sorry for prying into private matters." he apologized again.
"A sorry doesn't make it up."
"Well, then..." he looks up for second, his finger on his chin while thinking. "Oh! Wanna know what he thinks of you and what he said just moments ago?"
Now you're listening. Your curiosity is going to be your death one day honestly. And the worst part is, you don't wanna act like you're dying to know. What does he think of you? What does he say about you? If someone asks you something like that, you couldn't answer, because you don't know. He could think anything about you. You could even imagine how he thinks of you like a sister.
"Tell me."
Do you even want to know from a complete stranger?
"He-"
"Wait, i'm changing my mind." you interrupted him, while still thinking about it.
The brown-haired boy sweatdropped and shut his lips again, his smile told you that he was rather amused by you. "I don't know if I want know." was your answer. "I don't know if I wanna hear it from you. I wanna hear it from himself." those questions broke your mind. You are dying to know. Does he think positive of you? Does he think negative of you? Does he see you like a sister?
"Who are you?"
"Seems like I forgot to introduce myself. How rude of me." now his smile was apologetic. "Hayato Suo, first year of furin. May I ask for your name, ma'am?"
"[lastname] [name]. I hate violence."
"Ah, I heard a lot about you-"
"[name]-chan, found you!"
Out of nowhere, two arms wrapped around your tensed body, restraining your arms, and his loud voice made you flinch. "H-Hey! Don't touch me, you-" your head turned to him. Oh. You closed your lips, holding yourself back to complain. His face was really close, but then he leaned his forehead against your shoulder. You noticed that he was out of breath, panting like you did.
Crazy, how he didn't even sweat.
"Let me stay like this for a while... please." he whispered.
Your cheeks were painted in a light red color as you stayed still. A sigh left your lips once again as you looked ahead to Suo, who chuckled. "You two are really close and that answered my question already. I won't pry anymore." a first-year was watching. How embarrassing. You could die on the spot. And he even thought wrong now. That adds more weight to the embarrassment.
"You said you heard a lot about me." you brought up his last sentence before he got interrupted by Umemiya. "Does he talk... good about me?"
"Curious, aren't we?" he chuckled. "How about you ask him yourself?"
And with that being said, he just turned his back to you and walked away, leaving you alone with the white-haired man who refused to let you go. "Traitor." you whispered blankly. "I hate kids. Kids these days are pretty rude." you're talking like you weren't rude at all as a kid. You're still rude. To people you dislike or straight up hate. And you kept your mean thoughts for yourself. Most of the time.
"Hajime?"
"Mmh?"
"Let go."
"Please let me hug you longer. I don't get to do it very often." he sounds like a defeated puppy to be honest.
"...fine." you sighed, going to your usual self around him.
"Why did you run away from me?"
"Because." ah. You don't have an explanation. Not a good one. "I just felt like... having a quiet rest day for myself. And you aren't the calmest one."
"You should've told me."
"It would've hurt your feelings." you muttered. "And yet... At the end I still told you."
"[name]." he lets loose, making you think you're free from his hold, only for him to place his hands on your shoulders and turn you around. "It saddens me it if you take distance from me. But I can absolutely not stand it if you run away from me. I thought my life was over."
Your eyes widened as he said that with a complete serious face. Since when could he make such a face? Oh gosh, you have a lot more things to learn about him. His ocean like blue eyes locked into your [e/c] ones. "I despise being away from you. Everything tastes so bitter. Even Kotoha's omurice. And I love her omurice. Like hell, it's my favorite dish on earth." he doesn't sound serious at all.
"Hajime. What am I to you?"
"The best part of my day."
While your questions accidentally slipped out of your lips, his answer came out immediately. Like he was waiting forever. He didn't waste or hesitate a second to answer your question. Now you feel silly. Silly for doubting him. Silly for not being aware of his answer. "I'm such a fool." you sighed out, closing your eyes and laughing out. Please. When was the last time you laughed?
"Me too. We can be both fools together."
"No, I thought I know a lot about you, but in reality. I know little to nothing about you. And this irritates me."
"Then let's start over. I'll begin to teach you what I like and you'll teach me. I really wanna know a lot more about you. The curiosity is killing me. You're killing me." he begins to ramble again with the most excited smile. "But it's fine if you do."
"You're insane." you insulted him and took his wrist. "I think you're the real fool."
"Let me be your fool!"
"Absolutely not."
His eyes went down to your camera. "Wait." he said and took out his phone to look at the back of his phone case which was full of pictures. "We know each other for... eight years and still didn't take one picture of us together. Let's take one, right not, shall we?" he suggested with a smile, while he was literally beaming at his own idea. Oh. Right. Have you ever taken a photo with him?
"Sure." you watched as his hands wandered to your camera. "But not here. We're in an alley."
"Doesn't matter. Every picture looks good if you're on it." he's still smiling.
You sighed with the smallest smile on your lips as you watched how he carefully took your camera. "How does that work?" he asked and fumbled with your precious camera before turning it on while you were watching him. "Oh... uh and now?" he questioned and pressed every button to test it out. "Oh! There are a lot of photos of childhood pictures of me!" his eyes began to sparkle.
"What." the smile dropped in seconds after you realised what he just said.
Quickly, you grabbed the camera from his hands with a red face. How could you forget?! Gosh, this day couldn't get worse. You scrolled through the gallery and noticed how many pictures you had of him, while shutting your mouth completely. Aren't you a stalker? "Let's just get it over." you grumbled and gave him back the camera. "I hope you know how to shoot a photo."
"Right, right!" he chuckled amused.
As he hold the turned camera out with his one arm, he wrapped his other arm around your neck. "Three... two... one." he counted, but at the last second he twisted his face to you and placed his soft lips against your forehead. The flash blinded you, not giving you much time to react as he kissed your head. And when the flash came the second time, your small smile dropped.
─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─
"Please send me the picture." Umemiya plead liked a kicked puppy.
"No."
"But I need it, [name]-chan!" he whined. "I need it! I want to put it in my phone case."
"That's what you get." you rolled your eyes. "Besides that, isn't your phone case already full with other pictures? If you add one more, it'll explode."
While he was complaining the whole time, you both walked out of the alley towards town. On topic inspiration, you didn't even find anything you wanted to draw. The only reason you crawled out of your apartment. Yet you didn't even do what you intended to. How unlucky you are. But still, it was worth going out. Only because you met him again. That guy you didn't even want to see. He still makes you happy. Crazy, right?
"Yeah, I think so too." he took his phone out and looked at the pictures. "They all are pretty old. How about I replace them all with a new one?"
"You wouldn't lay all those pictures to the side for our picture." you chuckled lightly, knowing he only joked around.
"Oh believe me. I would for you."
- NAN0KA [ june 3rd, 2024 ]
#anime#hajime umemiya#hajime umemiya x reader#manga#umemiya hajime#umemiya hajime x reader#wind breaker#wind breaker x reader
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Chapter 2: Good Directions
From: Handiwork Series
Pairing: Mechanic! Farmhand! Curtis x Bartender! Reader
Summary: Curtis shows you a couple of his favorite spots around town.
Word count: 2,229
Content/warnings: Kissing, conversation, pet name usage, really not much else, a sprinkle of angst?
Author’s Note: Takes place directly after the last chapter, and then there are a few time skips, so it ends at the same place as YCMBWH ch. 8
All feedback is greatly appreciated. I love hearing back from you, even if it’s a keyboard smash. Thank you for reading!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
< Prev | Series Masterlist | Next >
Cleaning up went relatively fast after Curtis stepped away. After you finished counting the drawer and wiping down the counters finally, you saw him leaning against the wooden frame, chatting with Edgar. As soon as you walked up to them, Edgar bid the two of you goodbye.
“Okay, cheese curd, ready to go?” He laughed as his cheeks flushed a little pink. He nodded, opening up the door for you and leading you out to his truck.
He helped you to hop up into the passenger seat before jogging over to his side to get in. You’ve never seen a man that big move so smoothly. It must be the farming, really. Man, you had wasted your time with those city boys. Once he was settled in and had started the car, he sat there, still for a second, before looking over to you.
“So, Cherry, have a good day at work?” It was as if he had just simply picked you up. Like this was something he’d done before and he planned to do way more in the future. You let out a giggle at his playfulness and nodded.
“Oh yeah, great day. There was this one guy who kept begging for my attention, though. But I guess it was alright, because his friend with the fancy credit card left me a huge tip.”
Curtis teasingly scoffed, but it morphed into a smile to which you returned a wink when he turned his whole body towards you in the bench seat, propping his arm up across the back of it. His body looked so big, taking up the truck cab like that, yet so inviting.
“So where to, Missy? I know a lot about you, but not exactly where you live.”
You nodded. “Oh, right. Yeah, start driving and I’ll direct you.”
You took the opportunity to slide in under his arm before he could to move it, as he shifted back to face forward. As you settled into his side, Curtis kept his eyes forward, but it was impossible to miss the way the corners of his mouth turned up and his eyes sparked as he took a deep breath, still otherwise unmoving for a second.
Curtis moved his arm anyway, just for a second, to shift the truck into gear, then put it right back to where it was around you, squeezing you closer than before and starting his drive.
Curtis insisted on walking you up to your apartment after the short drive, which seemed like no time at all with how easy it was to talk to him. He’d been so kind, and you know Edgar had been just as decent lately, but this seemed different. It seemed like…more.
When you got to the door, you turned around and were met with the view of Curtis with his hands in his pockets, shoulders slightly slouched forward.
As your eyes met, you could feel the tension in the air, not sure where to go next. Not sure if maybe he felt the same static around the moment as you. Perhaps he was just being nice with everything lately, and that’s how they simply were in small towns, but again, it felt like way more than that. Either way, the easy conversation somehow escaped you now as your eyes shifted between his. Before you could even help it, you blurted out, “Would you just kiss me?”
Your hands gripped the collar of his flannel shirt and Curtis was taken aback by your directness. Hell, you were, too. His brain was screaming out to him. If he would’ve been able to decipher the internal screeching and put it into words, he would’ve said something along the lines of “Of course, I’ve been waiting to since the night I met you,” but instead, the wiring to his mouth must’ve been cut, since all he produced was a, “What?”
You laughed and shook your head at his expression and inability to register your words, before worry began to seep in. “I’d like to think I’m reading this right and was hoping you’d confirm it? Would you ki-“
Curtis’s brain finally caught up from the lag, and he immediately leaned down and smashed his lips against yours.
When he finally pulled away, you were the one wearing the brainless expression, eyes open and owlish at his confirmation of your feelings. You watched as his eyes slowly opened and a goofy smile came onto his face.
“I don’t think you read that wrong at all.” Curtis whispered between small pants.
“I, uh. I’ve got an early morning, but I enjoyed chatting with you tonight. I’d really like to see you again…maybe this coming week? Outside of your work and outside of the shop, you and me could do something?”
You nodded and bit your lip. “Yeah, I’d really like that. I’ll text you my schedule.”
You unclenched your hands from the fabric of his shirt and ran them down his chest. His oh-so-firm chest, before you realized maybe that was too far for tonight. You quickly moved your hands to be busy with something else, fishing for the doorknob behind you. “Good night, Curtis. Thank you for the ride.”
He simply nodded, watching you close the door and listening for the lock before turning on his heel and heading back to his car.
That week, Curtis kept his word. On Tuesday, he knew you had off work, so he surprised you by showing up at your door with a picnic basket in hand, only having given you about an hour of notice in advance, which was just enough time to get dressed and ready.
“Hey. I made us a little something. Wanna go for a ride?”
You nodded and grabbed his outstretched hand, heading out to his truck and hopping up. You could see the blankets in the truck bed already.
You watched the country roads and fields go by until Curtis pulled into a gorgeous meadow. The sun, low in the sky, was casting a reflective glow across the wildflowers and golden grasses.
Curtis put the truck in park and hopped down, reaching for you as you scooted across the bench seat and into his arms, where he helped you down. The calluses on his well-worked hands traced down your arms to grab your hands, sending a tingle through your body, as he led you to the tailgate. He helped you jump up before stepping up, himself, once again more gracefully than you would’ve expected for someone of his stature.
He laid out the blankets before helping you settle in to the laid out picnic.
It was a perfect date. After the meal, which was surprisingly good, you and Curtis just sat there, cuddled up in the corner of the bed, where you were squeezed in between his legs to watch the sunset. The warmth on your face mixed with that of his body behind you was comforting-almost too much.
You began to shift in his hold, the weight of everything kicking in. Maybe this was too much, too fast. You had just gotten here, the last thing you needed was to let yourself get sucked in, even if he was just so kind. Did you even know enough about him yet to say that?
Curtis took note of the change in the tone of the environment and moved around your side to look at you.
“Hey, everything alright?”
Sure, it was. You had been the one mostly pushing for things. You had been the one to kiss him, so why were you suddenly so on edge? You tried to swallow the lump forming in your throat before nodding.
“Uh, yeah. Just, um… this is really nice.”
Maybe the care he was showing was unlike what you were used to. Everywhere you went, it was just…you. But suddenly, someone else cared about what was going on in your life and made an effort to take part in it. You’re cleared your throat and attempted to clear the tears from your eyes before he could see them. You turned away from his knowing gaze and looked out towards the field.
“Everything’s really beautiful. Can you tell me about around here? I just wanna hear you talk.”
Curtis grabbed your hand with both of his, rubbing his thumbs along the back of it. He gave you a reassuring look and just simply a nod, leaning back once more and going through the history of the farm, what all the fields were used for, and the different animals, his deep voice lulling you back to a state of comfort. He told you about the old country store on the one corner, with an old Coca-Cola sign, and how his aunt used to make the best sweet tea. You settled back against his chest easily, taking in the warmth again, losing the sense of false alarm which threatened your enjoyment, and finally accepting the peace you thought you might find here.
After that night and the amount that Curtis opened up to you, seeing him was a much more regular occurrence, especially once you had gotten the call that the part for your truck came in. The repair took longer than anticipated, though, since Curtis had to be careful of the other parts of the engine with them all being so old. The wrong move could result in the necessity of ordering yet another part and essentially having to start the process over again. And as much as he would’ve liked to keep having reasons to talk to you, he wasn’t looking for more ways to dig into your pockets, or better yet, his since unbeknownst to you, he already had decided to comp this whole job.
The long-stretching work resulted in a few late nights of Curtis taking you back to the shop with him so he could show you the progress, teach you more about the other parts of the engine you weren’t as familiar with, and maybe kiss a little bit in the break room after he washed his hands for the day.
Some nights you’d snag him dinner from the bar and he’d drive you back out into the fields, instead, sharing snacks, and conversations, and a view of the unhindered stars that lit up and reflected in his eyes. He was made for here. He matched everything so perfectly, and you matched him.
Every so often, things would switch up, Curtis would sit with his head in your lap looking up at the sky while you told him stories of your travels, what life was like in various cities, and how all the people were different. Those places were never home, though. But this place felt like it, maybe he felt like it.
You ran your fingers through his cropped hair, staring up at the sky when he spoke up between your stories.
“So you remember my cousin? And Bucky?”
You hummed and nodded, tearing your eyes from the sky to look into Curtis’s and moved your hand from the top of his head to scratch through his beard.
“Well Bucky’s only got a few nights left in town, and I know you’ve got a day off coming up. I think we’re gonna have a bonfire. You wanna join?”
You thought for a second. This was essentially Curtis asking you to meet his family. If you hadn’t felt so secure with him, you would’ve hesitated, but there was no question and you’d take any opportunity to be with him and those he considered closest. They were funny from what you remember. Kind, polite, and seemed just as decent as him.
“Sounds good.”
The night of the bonfire was almost like any other time with you and Curtis. Warm, comfortable, enjoyable. Well, at least on your end.
You were sitting with your back up against Curtis, the bonfire smoke struggling to fight off the bugs, as you sensed something was off. Bucky and Bee sitting across from you seemed…sad. Like there was a cloud over their heads despite the wonderful weather lately.
You tried your best to make conversation and keep it. Maybe even avoiding the fact that you thought Bucky was simply a temporary farmhand, but now he seemed more like a boyfriend. Who were you to talk? Curtis was technically your mechanic. Your strong, smart mechanic who if you didn’t know better, you’d say was keeping your car for ransom so he could keep driving you places. Perhaps purposely walking through every repair step twice. That wasn’t the point right now, though, so you tried to talk to Bucky: the one who you’d heard less about.
He’d asked you what you thought of town, and if your time with Curtis was any indication, you loved it. So you asked him, as well. He seemed really locked in, like he wanted to stay forever, despite only being here temporarily as had been explained to you.
“But you’re not sticking around, right? Curtis told me this was one of your last nights in town.”
At that question, the already humid air thickened and you felt Curtis tense up behind you. Oh no, were you not supposed to say something about that? You tried to hold your expression in. Maybe if you didn’t acknowledge the discomfort, no one else would, but you heard Bucky’s quiet answer.
“Yeah.”
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Bonus A/N: Did I write another truck bed date? Yes. And would I do it again? You can bet on it.
Taglist: @angelcavill66 @hawkeyes-queen @ronearoundblindly
#Curtis Everett#Curtis Everett fanfiction#Curtis Everett x reader#Curtis Everett x you#handiwork series#handiwork#outta nowhere AU#outta nowhere#handiwork: chapter 2#chapter 2: good directions#Bucky Barnes#Chris Evans#snowpiercer#mechanic farmhand Curtis x reader#mechanic! farmhand! Curtis x bartender! reader#mechanic farmhand Curtis x bartender reader#mechanic farmhand Curtis#mechanic farmhand Curtis Everett#bartender reader#bartender!reader#mechanic!farmhand!Curtis#truckbed date#bonfire#crossover
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Matthew MacFayden’s Darcy is a fascinating thing to unpack because I don’t believe it succeeds as a performance of Darcy or even as a performance in general (it kind of can't) but there are layers to it and it's not simple.
#the layers are: he’s a good actor. it’s a bad script.#okay simple enough but then it’s a bad script with several lines ripped directly FROM ONE OF THE GREATEST NOVELISTS OF ALL TIME#and so for a second he’s a good actor saying a great line and tbh it works in flashes#LOVE when he asks Caroline if he can defer her raptures til his next letter#Darcy dryness IN THE ROOM WITH US FOR A MOMENT#but then he’s also forced to stand up too quick and say ‘she’s upstairs’ in response to Lizzy asking about Jane#And it’s just. Giving Blurting? And I know he’s supposed to be flustered but it’s so not Darcy so it’s ooc and also jarring#and then there's his terrible haircut and the ill-fitting clothes and the strange blocking and direction#which add their own layers of bad#but then he ISN'T a bad actor and he's not not responding to Keira's beauty#there are moments where it's like.... yeah! that's a man who knows how to look at a woman!#he is not not connected to her. i know what people mean when they say they feel it#there's an energy! some glances! some warmth!#but then there's the thing where it's like. a) i don't think that he's the right choice for Darcy even in a better script#b) the script doesn't understand and has no interest in Darcy's true character and goes for the shy puppy/awkward/tumblr take on him#so both of those things are happening at once!!!!!!!!#and yeah it's just kind of so emblematic of the movie as a whole#not all the ingredients are bad but they are not well utilized at all#and also sometimes they are the wrong (good) ingredient#anyway do not mean to hurt any feelings or start any discourse i just am always trying to explain this to myself#and i don't think i've ever come so close tbh!!!!!#this was in my drafts from last night so i thought i would share it now#because I've always felt how much is wrong and how much is wrong as an Austen adaptation and yet there are glances#(that one gifset of them at Pemberley where they're talking about her playing and he's like 'no i said quite well')#(and she smiles and then he smiles and the light is golden and it's !!!!!)#but then there are moments that don't even work by that isolated measure!!!!#that just feel so weird and wrong!!!!! again. even by a sentimental measure#maybe even ESPECIALLY by a sentimental measure#so i'm always trying to unpack it more clearly (joe wright the clear villain being one takeaway) thank you for listening etc. more at 11.#2005 liveblog
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let it be known…. bestie!sukuna does a killer winged eyeliner
#sharp enough to cut a man and that’s his goal i just know he does the meanest winged eyeliner for you in class#you hand him the pen w/o saying a word and he’s immediately grabbing the back of your head to steady you#if suguru sees that he’s like What Thw Fuck Is going onnimm gonna be Sick#firmly believe that reader & everyone in school has a mini crush on sukuna#i say mini bc he is so fucking sexy but the moment he opens his mouth you’re like damn… i regret all my life choices why’s he yelling at me#anyways. reader is the only one who can tolerate sukuna and vice versa <3 reader is friendly so everyone loves them#but like. BEST FRIEND wise? it’s sukie & reader til death does them part 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 i love them so much idk why their dynamic makes me so happy#okay i’m just talking to myself in the tags rn hmmm how do i want him to look#pink hair + black undercut OBVIOUSLY. face tatts/body tatts OBVIOUSLY.#ear piercings + helix + industrials + eyebrow piercing + nose piercing + snake bites + tongue piercing OBVIOUSLY#he’d also wear reading glasses. FKN nerd 😹😹😹 i have 20/20 vision i can’t relate 🤭🤭🤭#immaculately dressed & insanely intelligent you can call sukuna a lot of things but you can’t call him ugly or dumb#i think he’d have reader’s birth flower tattooed on him too just as a nod to how much he loves/cares for them <3#where should he work… maybe at the same tattoo shop as suguru? yeah maybe that could work#sukie’ll be a piercer while sugu is a tattooist yeah that checks out#maybe they’re in the same frat? yeah that could work part 2#okay YAY cool i’m glad i’m fleshing him out :3#snippets#personal
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one day when i am not busy dying on the inside and out i will write an honest-to-god essay about how people are, for the lack of a better descriptor but simultaneously for the lack of a more perfect one, too edgy about five.
#like yeah five is an edgy game and the darkest in the series and gloomier than all of its predecessors but. i lack the words for it now but#there are important little moments in five where light shines through the carpet haphazardly thrown over a pile of garbage that oft get#ignored in favor of pushing the agenda that everyone in five is filth down to the core and that's just not true#i just- deeeeeeep sigh. people are so shallow sometimes man#this is how we get those characters that do not resemble the original in the slightest that either take one trait of the given character an#then bloat and exagerrate it until the character is a caricature of themselves OR projections of what the people would like these character#to BE in order to... be able to wrap their heads around them and their motivations more easily‚ i guess??#i don't know it feels to me like people just don't want to bother with the intricacies of complex characters and that's how the wood plank#versions of characters get created and then passed around ad infinitum#sweet grouchy baby boy who never did anything wrong ever. man who is either an innocent little big guy or satan himself. guy who is#objectively one of the most flawed individuals in the series being worshipped as a hero (griffith syndrome). guy who is either depicted as#an obnoxious playboy who only cares about getting laid and having as much skin exposed as possible at all times or the most vile man on#planet earth while being neither. the fucking. masochist cyborg thing. i'm gonna explode#oh and if you point out that there needs to be depth to any analysis of these characters if you are to do them justice you end up with a#gaggle of people saying oh yeah of course everyone in here is awful and they all have pig hearts#and i'm just wondering why this is the default conclusion most come to and not‚ you know‚ the thought that complexity does not inherently#imply rottenness but rather that even in the most horrible of situations you can find something good#i'm not the happiest or the most fortunate of individuals but i still refuse to believe in the idea of inherent evil that's being sold for#cheaper than a copy paper pack these days#but that has nothing to do with this my point is if you're trying to do media analysis you've got to look beyond... i don't have a word for#this... i guess you could call them fanmade stereotypes? no that's not it‚ my point is that people need to open their eyes to how complex#motivations and circumstances and human connection are and face that complexity head on instead of rubbing the story with sandpaper until#it's satisfiable to them#logs
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If I think too hard on the cowboy game I want to start chewing on glass
#life and times#it is. so much. the slow fall from grace. crumbling of 'family' bonds. mortality and morality. a tragedy so simple yet perfectly complex#that when u first try to unravel it. find one singular moment where it all goes wrong. u realize all these points connect and interweave#and from the outside looking in its like well they could have just Not but when u look at the people involved u have to sit w the fact that#there was no pther way for it to end#also i think there is a line of dialogue somewhere where arthur is described as the gangs workhorse#and to contrast this imposing man who does the most detestable tasks who goes along on scams with the idea hes only there to be surly and#scary. with the end of the game. where sadie has to firmly yet kindly convince him to take the role of backup because at that point he is a#liability and not an asset. like the struggle of what u used to do w what u can currently do and the frustration w ur rapidly decaying body#yeah.#chewing. glass.#srry if i cowboy spiral u know how it is
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i know light rampant is like. really hard but tbh i have no idea how it's like outside of normal e8 and i really want to try doing e8s sometime
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#it's been a long time since that fight came out now but i want to do it synced ngl JRGWJWVAJSBJD#i'm proud of how i've cleared e12s p4s and uwu especially with me being really young compared to other players#+ i cleared e12s as mch (or dnc can't rmbr) and holy shit i was on eu as someone in sea and my ping was so godawful#but yeah :O i rmbr old fc lead and static leader from back in eu hehe doing nier raids ... wah#i sometimes save videos of interactions in xiv and one of them i still rmbr. it was like early afternoon and lune was still sleeping#parents were out and i was playing xiv! just afk-ing by the house as that guy ^^ played music and we just chatted#i really love moments like that... >< really thankful to that guy bcs i wouldn't be where i am with my friends i met then#and i wouldn't have gotten into savage and look at me! now uwu cleared and i'm confident i can do the others too in time#but i have to definitely give myself credit bcs i was the one who accepted the fc inv :O but man. right time right place. it's amazing#and i still rmbr my first reaction seeing his character and it was me laughing at him oh my GOD#anyways i think it's funny how rdm are often either lgbtq. or genuinely FRENCH. there was a post on twt#that was like ooyeah rdm mains are not cishet and i was thinking hmm but the one i know is! but another category op put was french cishet#male and i wanted to cry that is so accurate. anyways i love red mage#ANYWAYS RIGHT i love hard mechs tbh#fave fights from each tier ive done! e12s and p3s <3 and p4s p2. and uwu from ults (it is the only one lol)#dun scaith was my babygirl as a sprout and i LOVE the ivalice raids. and optimization and all on nier raids#i like being good idk it just hits my braincells so right idk how to explain but <3 i love hard mechs#to this day i still memorize dun scaith and goddd i havent done that fight in so long but i love it sm#ever since back in free trial where i used the fight to get better at ast! and god. the wipes#takes me back as well to fanfest bcs man thatw as so fun. and the game being on sale made me sooo happy#bcs i cld finally get the full game! and then finished the whole of stb in a week. yeah. and shb too#all in summer mhm and then when school came around i vividly remember how i got into jjk... how amazing#humans are so fascinating and i find myself the most interesting. bcs it's Me!!#okay i've been thinking and talking for many minutes now and should do hw Sobs
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life is funny bc it feels like itll last forever while also feeling like it will end at any second
#what ik saying is the present is eternal the past never was and the future is a lie we tell ourselves for confort or something#also am i the only one who can like centralize my thoughts. or something. like#sometimes ill ground myself on the present and those are the moments where i feel like time is endlessly dragging itself forward#sometimes ill ground myself in the past and then ill feel like im looking into a picture book where literally everyone is an unrealiable n#narrator#and then sometimes ill ground myself in the future and will go into these ahem. mental spirals#future specific mental spirals bc ive been having breakdowns about the state of my body soul and mind in the grand scheme of time since i#was a nine year old#idk future just brings me anxiety bro. so does the past. i have a complicated relationship with the present.#ok i noticed my description of the present sucked#here it goes: its like im stuck. its thos very persistent feeling that im stuck in the here and now.#i dunno man maybe im just pretentious but my existence and being is something im not really that fine about#like yk how some people hate themselves yeah so like i hate the very concept of me existing#which is concerning sure but somewhere in my life i started subconsciously thinking that not only i dont want to be here#i *shouldnt* be here. maybe its to justify some nasty thoughts maybe its how low self esteem is manifesting to me#maybe im dramatic or maybe i should get help. who knows#ik theres good atuff here obviously what im saying is im not really vibing with the whole ''be'' and ''exist'' thing evrn if i want to#so yeah. what does this mean? i dont know. ''i want to die'' maybe or ''i dont feel like im worthy of living'' or something.#in the lines of something that has to do with self hate idk im just speculating#txt
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ahh.. I have tickets for a small music festival tmr which I went to last year + had a whale of a time but this year theres only like 2 artists I wanted to see but they released the schedule a couple days ago and neither are playing before 9:30pm. since I don't live local anymore I'd have to leave to travel back home around that time or I'd miss the last train... and there's not rly anywhere I can crash overnight there (and I was planning on going alone anyway like I did last year). so I think im gonna have to let this one pass me by :-(
#its not the end of the world like theyre not artists i LOVE love just ones i know and like a few tracks of#last year i had so much fun bc one of the artists there was an all time fave of mine. but yeah im not missing out on that this year#but its still a shame. i miss living there and being able to walk to gigs to easily like the music scene was so up my street!!#and i was kind of looking forward to it. but i shouldve planned it further in advance if i was serious abt going#i just didnt think theyd BOTH play so late???? i swear they had an earlier schedule last year#i guess i could just go and mill around some of the shows earlier in the day even tho ive skimmed most of them on spotify and theyre-#not rly my thing. sigh#im v tired + starting to feel quite sad this evening for some specific reasons i dont really want to think much about bc it is what it is#so its hard to imagine going out and having fun tomorrow. maybe ill just aim to get my chores done instead and see how i feel after that#i might fix my bike up and check the other local climbing gym out bc i havent visited that one before and itd be nice to mix it up#and i need to go out on the bike at some point this weekend so i dont build up anxiety abt it after yesterdays crash. hmm#man. its hard trying to do things solely for my own enjoyment sometimes. im usually pretty ok at making myself do it#and im grateful that i am! but i think im just feeling quite lonely. and not in a way where being around other people rly helps#like its more of a core thing. i feel kind of unseen by people in my life at the moment and that makes me feel like im not quite real#and i dont really know what to do about that. i think its why im still on my discord hiatus i just dont really have anything to say rn#ive felt this intermittently throughout a lot my life i think. but most of the time i can distract myself from it enough not to notice it#and i put the effort in socially regardless + usually when im in the moment it doesnt matter. but the stretches inbetween those moments..#its not unbearable and i dont feel that depressed at the moment either. just a bit lost i guess. i know itll pass eventually#but yeah it just keeps nudging up against me bc im feeling every little misunderstanding and slight quite keenly atm#ahh.. well its okay. ive never really needed much anyway im good at taking care of myself and thats enough to get by#ill do something nice for myself this weekend one way or another. im gonna go take a long shower rn i think and then read a bit#ah and i said i didn't rly want to think about it! but i guess i did... well i feel like i exist a little more for typing it out anyway#okay yes shower time now :-)#.diaries#maybe someday ill have ppl in my everyday life who i do feel seen + safe around. a girl can dream.. i have a lot of work to do before then
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GOJO SATORU: ❛❛ CAN I PUT YOU ON HOLD? ❜❜
.ೃ࿐ he picks up the phone in the middle of fucking you. NSFW
contents: fem!reader. cunniligus, lil' bit of dirty talk and more... i'm too tired to type it all out </3
author's note: idk personally i wouldn't take that.. but i guess i would if it was satoru. anywaysss enjoy
satoru's a busy man — balancing his responsibilities as a teacher and as a sorcerer is no easy task, but he finds a way to make it work.
anyone who's known him for longer than a minute can easily tell that satoru's committed to his line of work. as much as he complains about it, the truth is that it's one of his top priorities. maybe even the first one.
and you get a taste of just how devoted satoru is when he picks up the phone in the middle of fucking you.
"hello?" satoru cooes, eyes focused on your indignant expression as he holds a finger to his lips. "yeah, i'm free to talk. what is it?"
"free to talk?" you mouth at him incredulously. satoru replies with a wink and grins, enjoying the show. you're still pinned underneath him, bedsheets haphazardly strewn across your body, and satoru savors the sight of you all needy and pouty.
"yeah, take your time," satoru says amusedly to whoever's on the other side of the phone after a moment. when you reach up and swat satoru's chest indignantly, he uses his free hand to pin your wrists above your head, a clear warning in his eyes.
after a couple of mhm's and of course's, the conversation still isn't over. your patience is waning — who is satoru to just stop in the middle of fucking you to pick up a phone call and say that he's free to talk?
you try to distract yourself by thinking about the mindblowing sex you were having just minutes ago. the longing, glassy stares; the red scratch marks down satoru's back; and of course you couldn't leave out the words.
"fuck, you're taking me so well, sweetheart." "atta girl, you're a natural slut, aren't ya?" "your pussy was made to be fucked by me, wasn't it?"
how did that turn into "yeah, make sure the higher-ups know about this, otherwise they'll give me hell for it. mhm"?
after another bland minute, satoru rolls off of you and sits up with his back against the headboard, sheets falling to expose everything from his waist up.
you whine in impatience, glaring at him like a sullen child. satoru basically just edged you — one second you're about to get to best orgasm of your life, the next you're forced to watch your boyfriend chat on the phone nonchalantly as if he wasn't just moaning your name like a slut three minutes earlier.
satoru shoots a glare at you and pats his lap, pressing a finger to his lips as a reminder to stay quiet.
well then, he shouldn't have picked up the phone in the middle of fucking you.
you scoot yourself into his lap, purposefully positioning yourself so that your pussy just barely rubs against the head of satoru's still-dripping cock.
it's so worth it when you hear satoru inhale a sharp breath and start to squirm under you, somehow both trying to push himself inside but also trying to inch himself away. it's like he can't decide, but the way his face flushes red speaks volumes.
his voice is breathier than normal as he squeezes his watery eyes shut. "yeah yeah, that's perfect. you mind if i put y'on hold for a sec? alright, thanks."
you glance over at satoru as he retracts the phone from his ear and puts it on mute. not even a second later, he's back on you, manhandling you into a position where he can comfortably eat your pussy, a cheeky smile on his lips.
"you think you're so fucking funny, don't ya?" satoru cooes, looking up at you as he eats you out sloppily. a mixture of his saliva and your essence drips down his chin, and the lewd sounds slipping from his lips are pornworthy. the wail that slips out of your lips when satoru bites down on your thigh hard enough to leave a mark is anything but appropriate, especially when he presses his lips back to your pussy and laughs in the middle of tonguefucking you.
"fuck, you're so lucky my phone's on mute right now," satoru groans, still buried in between your thighs. "god, if my old man could hear you now—"
"your dad's on the other end of the phone?!" you gasp, swatting satoru's head and frantically reaching over him to check if the phone was actually on mute — knowing satoru, it could've just slipped his mind. intentionally.
satoru scowls, muttering a reminder for you to stay still while he eats his dessert before rolling his eyes and grumbling "what does it matter?"
"uh, that's embarrassing!" you whine. when satoru nudges his nose against you again, you reluctantly spread your thighs for him so he can continue his meal. satoru mumbles a thanks, but he doesn't respond beyond that.
"satoru!"
"what??"
"don't you have to finish your call?"
satoru sticks out his bottom lip, fixing his cerulean eyes on you and pouting. "you were just complaining about the call and now you want me to go back??"
"it's your dad, satoru," you groan, pushing his shoulders away from your legs and ignoring his protests. "you don't get any more pussy until you finish that damn call."
"i hate you."
"love you lots, baby."
satoru sighs dramatically and unmutes the call, not bothering to respond to his dad's questions with answers longer than a word or two. after another minute of this, his dad finally hangs up and satoru lets out an elated cheer.
he turns to you with a mischievous smirk.
"now, where were we?"
#osaemu#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo smut#satoru gojo smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#gojo satoru smut#satoru gojo x reader#jjk x y/n#gojo x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x y/n
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