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dovewing / ivypool

Me making headcanons for friendships that get little to no screentime but I’m way too invested in anyways? More likely than you’d think 🥰 (it’s been a while since I’ve done a long ass headcanon post so let’s fuckin goooooooo)

Gonna start with the one I think about the most often (platonic shouchako):

After Midoriya and Iida become friends with Todoroki, obviously Uraraka wants to be his friend too since he’s important to her two closest friends

She starts inviting to him to do things with her, like joining lil competitions with classmates and baking and shit

Todoroki is confused why she’s suddenly inviting him to do all these things with her but he finds her to be pleasant company so he goes along with it

They actually make a good team, especially when they’re motivated (which since Uraraka is very competitive and Todoroki is fairly competitive himself, is often). They destroy their classmates at shit like class water gun fights and prank wars. They are a truly terrifying duo and the rest of the class is wary at best whenever they’re on the same team

One day Uraraka offhandedly refers to Todoroki as her friend and Todoroki’s like “??? You wanna be my friend?” and Uraraka’s like “uhh I already am your friend? What did you think I was doing all this time?” and Todoroki (who hasn’t really made friends outside of the context of fighting)’s like “oh. Thank you” and maybe smiles a little

Uraraka is overcome with the strong feeling that she would die for him (Iida and Midoriya are like “join the club”)

ANYWAYS they like training together since Uraraka specializes in close combat and Todoroki specializes in ranged combat, and they spar fairly often

They have a running bet over who will defeat the other in training more by the end of the year. It’s low stakes (the loser just has to make the winner their favorite food), but they like the competition

Uraraka learns that Todoroki has a sweet tooth, so she asks Sato to teach the two of them to bake, and baking together kinda becomes their thing, it’s relaxing and they enjoy it. They do it both for fun and when one of them has a bad day

Todoroki buys Uraraka little gifts, like he’ll see her favorite type of mochi at the store and get it for her or he gets her a Kirby plushy because “it looks like her” (Uraraka jokingly chases him around for that one)

They commiserate with Iida about Midoriya’s bone breaking habits and general self destructive tendencies and the three of them team up to try and get him to care for himself more. They also team up with Midoriya to get Iida to be less hard on himself. They are the Midoriya And Iida Support And Appreciation Squad.

Uraraka thinks Todoroki’s sense of humor is fucking HILARIOUS and Todoroki takes advantage of this to try to make her laugh at inopportune times (almost no one believes her when she complains about this because they’re like “Todoroki? Making jokes? Seems unlikely.” Uraraka has decided that he is the incarnation of evil). She swears revenge on him every time though the revenge is usually something silly like sneak attacking him to ruffle his hair so the colors are all messed up and it sticks up funny

She’s actually one of the people he texts most often, both while they’re at school and as pro heroes (while they both deeply care about their friends Todoroki is the type to accidentally fall out of contact if other people don’t initiate, and though busy Uraraka refuses to let that happen).

Sometimes he sends her weird ass memes at odd hours of the night & when she wakes up the next morning she’s like “what the fuck. Todoroki what does this mean.” He usually just sends her :) in return which explains absolutely nothing.

If anyone ever insults one of them within the other’s earshot, it’s on sight. Uraraka got detention for a week after punching a second year who said Todoroki’s scar was ugly, and Todoroki got detention for two weeks after icing someone who made fun of the state of Uraraka’s clothes. Neither one of them can bring themselves to regret it.

When Uraraka has a bad day, Todoroki is good at silently offering her support by being near her, sometimes giving off heat or cool if she’d benefit from it, and not asking her questions but being willing to listen to what she has to say if she wants to tell someone about what’s bothering her

When Todoroki has a bad day, Uraraka notices and gives him space but also reminds him that his friends love him and offers him an opportunity to talk about what’s bothering him if he wants to + says she’ll punch whoever made him sad (he has no doubt that if he wanted her to, she’d actually do it, no matter who it was that was bothering him, which is an oddly heartwarming thought)

Whenever Iida or Midoriya teases one of them, they playfully go “friendship ended with (Iida/Midoriya), (Uraraka/Todoroki) is my new best friend” then laugh (Uraraka) or look outwardly blank while hiding secret amusement (Todoroki) when Iida/Midoriya is thrown off guard and/or jokingly tries to “get their best friend back” (they r all best friends actually so this is of course all in good fun :’) )

Todoroki knows how to braid because Fuyumi and his mom taught him in an attempt to create some nice memories while Uraraka doesn’t know how since her hair has never really been long enough to braid. However there’s a period of time where Uraraka hasn’t been able to cut her hair for a while since she’s been so busy, and her front hair pieces have started blowing into her eyes. When she complains to Todoroki about this and says she’d braid it back if she knew how to, Todoroki offers to do it for her and teach her how. She enthusiastically accepts, and brags to the rest of the class how good Todoroki is at braiding (which may start a trend of class 1a asking Todoroki to braid their hair - even though most of them can do it themselves - but he doesn’t mind). Todoroki teaches her how to braid and at first she uses his hair for practice, but she picks it up quickly and now likes to braid Tsuyu’s hair for her. They still occasionally braid each other’s hair for fun though

When Uraraka discovers Todoroki’s kind of touch starved but actually seems to like physical affection from his friends, she makes it her mission to give him more of it by ruffling his hair and playfully nudging him and hugging him sometimes. The rest of the class picks up on this and starts joining in, to Uraraka’s (and Todoroki’s secret) delight

Todoroki can and will fall asleep everywhere, and once that starts including “on his friends”, Uraraka makes it her mission to make sure nobody wakes him up unless absolutely necessary bc he’s Tired and deserves a rest

Uraraka is hungry a lot, especially when she overuses her quirk, and though she tends to ignore it and say that she’s used to it, Todoroki starts carrying snacks around with him and slipping them into her bag/locker/pockets/onto her desk when she’s not looking. She’s sure he’s the one doing it but she’s never caught him and he denies it every time she asks him about it, so she can’t really do anything about it except eat the snacks

Todoroki helps Uraraka study sometimes because Iida is great but he’s not necessarily great at figuring out why she’s struggling with certain concepts and Midoriya is great but he tends to latch onto a small detail of the assignment and ramble about it while forgetting what he was originally trying to explain and Yaoyorozu’s great but her study group is already pretty big and Uraraka doesn’t necessarily want to add another person to her plate or be in such a big group since she’d get distracted, meanwhile Todoroki’s pretty decent at identifying the roots of problems and explaining them and he’s quiet enough otherwise that he makes for a pleasant study partner. Her class rank has actively improved because of this, and she made him soba to thank him for his help

I’ll probably add more in the future but when I tried to post this a few days ago tumblr acted like this didn’t exist and tried to convince me it was deleted or smth so I’m gonna post it now while I can actually see it anyways appreciate shouchako friendship!!

I am OBSESSED with your Desmond lives AU!! I want Shaun and Rebecca to be able to give Desmond all the hugs, I want Desmond to be able to choose to be an Assassin, to be able to help save the world again. Also, I am very curious about how you would resurrect Desmond, because I’ve had similar thoughts on such an AU, but I currently stick it near the end of Valhalla with the stuff that happens there. If you ever feel like expanding on it, I'd be super excited to see more!!!

first of all, AH THANK YOU!!! Yes those are ALL points that are very important to the Des Lives AU! Second of all, thank you so much for this ask in general!!! I was hoping someone would send an ask like this so I’d get an excuse to talk abt the AU more lmao XD!! I made this AU back in March last year, so there’s no Valhalla stuff in it, and it’s set right after/ during the Odyssey DLCs. 

The long story short for my Desmond Rez (rezmond, if you will) is “shroud of eden, abstergo, and some Isu bullshit”. The long story long, however, is uh- you know what? I’m going to use this opportunity to explain the vague story I worked out last year -- but dw, I WILL get to the full ressurection explanation I thought through. However... I’m gonna have to tell the story in smaller parts because I’m lazy and can’t be bothered to write the whole thing out right now. So rez comes later and not in this post. 

also uh-- before we start: I’m going to apologise for like… everything about the way I wrote this. It’s sort-of half fic, half that-way-your-friends-colloquially-tell-stories-that-you-can’t-keep-up-with. Mainly the latter. If you can make sense of this babbling, well done.

 Anyways, without further ado, welcome to:

POTES TRIES TO EXPLAIN HER DESMOND (SORTA) LIVES AU: PART ONE

On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles dies. 

It’s not for nothing -- his sacrifice saves the entire world from a solar flare -- but he is dead. big ripz. The Assassins, his family, do not manage to recover his body. Abstergo gets it first. The Assassins hold a funeral as best they can. They mourn (all in their own ways), they keep fighting (for his memory), and they try to move on (they can’t). 

On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles died -- so when he shows up in a city in October 2018, almost 6 years later, it’s a bit of a shock for everyone. What’s even more of a shock is the fact he’s glowing like an Isu and has some abilities he DEFINITELY didn’t have when he died.

So Desmond wakes up in the middle of some city in he doesn’t know where (yeah ok i just never really worked out where the secret lab would be), with 1. no idea of how he got there and 2. no idea why his arms are glowing like that. He doesn’t get much time to think about it because then there’re a load of Abstergo goons with guns surrounding him. Des may have no idea what’s happening, but he knows one thing: when u see an Abstergo, it’s on sight. So he’s fighting them -- which is admittedly not fun or easy when you’re in the middle of a road and only have your fists as weapons. It’s not going well and then someone definitely manages to shoot Desmond which is very bad -- but then Des feels some very weird (but not unfamiliar) feeling and when he looks up from the bullet wound, every one of the Abstergos are on the floor???? He doesn’t think to check if they’re dead, just legs it out of there lmao. 

//

Elsewhere, in an Assassin safehouse in an undisclosed location (can you tell I just didn’t think about the geography of anything), Mr Shaun Hastings is chilling on a balcony after a mission well done. Good for him. Then Rebecca Crane (queen ilu) yells “Shaun?” from inside. 

“Rebecca?” 

“Come inside. Now.”

Shaun immediately does so because he assumes it’s important or they’re under threat. “What happened? Have we been compromised?”

Rebecca doesn’t answer. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Shaun says, mostly joking and with a little smirk -- though Becs looks spooked. 

“Desmond’s alive.”

Shaun’s not smirking anymore. “What?”

“Desmond’s... he’s alive.”

“What are you talking about? Are you high?” he’s totally about to look at her eyes to see if they’re all dilated and druggy. 

“No Shaun, I mean it!” Becs harshly shoves her tablet into his hands. 

Shaun doesn’t really know what he’s expecting to see when he looks down at the screen. What he’s not really expecting to see is Desmond Miles, who’s been dead for six years, fighting a load of Abstergo people -- while lined in Isu markings (also he’s not wearing a shirt forgot got to mention). ??? But wtf??!?! Desmond’s dead. That’s...

“It’s security camera footage from [the city]... About two hours ago.” Rebecca then swipes through more footage with shaky hands and explains that Des very violently burst out of an Abstergo facility in the city with glowing eyes and light leaking out of him (almost like an Apple of Eden). Then the glowing eyes and shining lights shuts off abruptly and Des is standing in the middle of the road looking very confused at his precursor-ass arms and chest. But Shaun is barely listening to what she’s saying and barely even looking at the screen. 

“Where did you get this?” Shaun asks with a hollow voice, not looking up. 

“The Initiates.” (bc who else)

Shaun looks at it again, then at Rebecca, and he’s mildly aware of the fact he’s slightly tearing up; “That’s fake. That can’t be him. He’s dead, Becs. We both saw the…” They both saw the autopsy footage the ac4 researcher got from Abstergo -- or at least, tried to watch it; they shut it off as soon as Shaun ran to the bathroom to throw up and Rebecca quickly joined him. They spent the rest of that night crying and drinking way too much. 

“He died.” Shaun concludes firmly. 

And so Becs is all like “yeah but what if he didn’t?? We need to find him. We need to investigate this.” There’s a determination in her eyes and Shaun knows he’s not going to be able to convince her to drop this -- not that he would. Desmond might be alive, and there is no way they’re going to leave him again. 

They’re both standing there in pure shock and confusion, not saying anything. 

Rebecca’s comm device lights up and starts buzzing, snapping them out of their general ????-ness. Becs goes to her desk to grab it, glances at the caller id and then shows it to Shaun. It’s William Miles. 

The two of them share a Look. They know what he’s calling about -- what else would it be? There’s a stilted moment of neither of them doing anything before Rebecca finally accepts the call. “William?” 

“How quickly can you and Shaun get to [city]?” William sounds shaken -- probably the same way Rebecca and Shaun are -- which is a very weird way to hear the Mentor of the Brotherhood sound. He’s seen the footage, hasn’t he? 

“In a few hours,” Rebecca replies. 

“Good. You need to get there as soon as possible.” 

Everyone’s silent for a few moments. 

“Is this about Desmond?” Rebecca asks. Dumb question. 

There’s a pause. “You’ll be briefed on the ground.” And then he hangs up before Shaun or Rebecca can yell at him.

This is all moving very fast. Shaun and Rebecca share another look. Guess they’re going to [city].  ???

// 

Fast forward several hours and Rebecca and Shaun are in The City [might just have to make the city london bc it’s the one city i actually know well -- however for plot reasons we’ll see later, a swiss city might be better… moving on!]. They get to an assassin base and meet up with Galina Voronina and 2 local assassins. Idk if you’ve read the comics, but to sum things up quickly, Galina and her team were investigating and then ended Project Phoenix -- so Galina now really wants to find out if the whole Desmond thing has anything to do with that. 

Galina also wants to help Shaun and Rebecca get their friend back. They’re her friends, but equally she just lost one of her teammates to Abstergo (while ending Phoenix like 2 months ago, in the comics) and is uh- idk how to say it but she wants to help Shaun & Becs who have a chance to get their lost teammate back.

What follows is cool gang-gang trying to track down any trace of Desmond. You’d think it wouldn’t be hard to find a person who literally glows, but Desmond’s had centuries of Assassin training and knows how to hide lol.. which is making the Assassins’ job harder lol. 

What’s making it even harder is the Assassins know they have to be quick because they know Abstergo is gonna be looking for Desmond too -- and they have way more resources and stuff. That being said, they’re also currently dealing with the fact one of their building and a decent amount of their guards just got absolutely mullered by weird-glowing-desmond. 

The third issue with their entire thing is that they have no idea what they’re going to find when they find Desmond -- or if he even is Desmond. Is he going to be the man they knew but with weird powers? an Abstergo isu-clone? evil? they don’t know, and so they know they’ve got to be wary with him. 

The Assassin gang spend some time (a couple of days at the very most) trying to track Desmond down. Rebecca is using all the tech she can get her hacker mitts on to find a trace of him and equally throw Abstergo off Des’ trail. 

Soon enough, they get a solid lead -- don’t ask for the specifics, i don’t know them. But they get a lead, and it winds them up in an abandoned apartment building or also abandoned building site or something (a building in the city where there aren’t any people, basically). 

Galina scans the place with Eagle Vision and she’s like “There is something very strange about this place.” (someone?) But she doesn’t see a person-shape anywhere. The 5 of them are hopeful but somewhat on edge. 

They go about searching for any sign of Desmond. Galina’s pretty sure her Eagle Vision is just… Messing Up A Lot lol. Like something’s trying to heck with it. So she’s not quite sure it’s working correctly when a load of red figures appear somewhere below them. 

She becomes a lot more sure when the red figures come into sight and START SHOOTING AT THEM! IT’S ABSTERGO!! CRAP! they found them!!

The assassins get down and a really cool fight scene w them vs the Abstergos in the building/ building site starts playing out. Woo Shaun and Rebecca electro-hidden-blade moments!! The fight splits the squad up and Shaun and Rebecca are away from Galina & the others -- but they dispatch the Abstergo guards near them.

They’re about to radio in that they’re all okay/ check if Galina & co are also good when they hear a slightly-too-loud footstep. They whip around to see an Abstergo guard aiming right at them, too far for either of them to get him before he shoots them. crap crap crap.

They would have been shot -- if someone hadn’t come up behind the Abstergo guard and snapped his neck (ouch). 

The Abstergo drops to the ground, revealing the person who saved them and… Shaun and Rebecca stare in shock. 

They’re both looking at Desmond Miles. 

Desmond Miles, who is very much alive (and wearing a hoodie that is 100% stolen). And… with a load of glowing yellow lines on his face. But it’s Desmond -- it’s Desmond for sure. Holy shit.  

Desmond doesn’t seem so shocked, only relieved to see them. Then his expression turns into serious confusion; 

“What the fuck is happening?”

///

ok sorry leaving it there for now! hope you enjoyed what is here will continue soon

handmaid - 06

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, sexual content (18+)

A/N: i’m so happy you guys are enjoying this reader specifically. i have a soft spot for ingenues mostly because i was always type casted as the ingenue when i used to be in musicals and love to defend ingenues (mostly cosette bc everyone hates cosette FOR ZERO REASONS STOP HATING COSETTE).

 i was a bit afraid she would come out as very annoying (once again she is heavily inspired by cosette and christine and everyone hates cosette for, and i shall repeat again, no reason) but i’m rly glad everyone seems to enjoy this version if y/n. hope you enjoy this chapter xxx

NEXT CHAPTER

White. That was the very first thing she saw, the pure white, unspotted celling of her bedroom as she woke up. The sunlight warmly caressed her skin, reminded her that she did not remember when or how she had fallen asleep. If she had purposely done so, she would’ve closed the curtains but the warmness of her face told her otherwise. 

Lazily, she raised her chest from the bed, sheets bunched up in one of her fists pressed against her chest. Y/N glanced over to the alarm clock on her nightstand, 5 AM, and then to her figure, she was still to get out of her undergarments and petit coat from last night. She guessed, she must’ve fallen asleep waiting for Gwen. As that came into her head, she rushed out of her bedroom, her feet padded over the dark floors until she reached her friend’s room, gently and slowly opening the door. Her worries subsided once she saw her friend sleeping on top of her duvet, dress and shoes still on. Well, at least she was home.

      - I’ve already checked on her. - Y/N slowly closed the door, her breathe getting stuck in her throat as she recognised Sebastian’s voice. In all honesty, she still did not know how to react around him, specially after last night. 

Nevertheless, she turned around, her body facing his despite the distance between the both of them. He was in much more casual wear, a far cry from the constantly pristine pressed suits he wore, wearing a loose white tee shirt with some grey sweatpants. Still, despite being dressed in approachable clothing, he still looked more intimidating than every man she had ever met. Who was she kidding? Even the loose tee and sweatpants were probably more expensive than everything she owned all together. 

Sebastian, on the other hand, felt his throat and mouth water up at the sight in front of him. The once very polished hairstyle had collapsed, probably during her sleep, and she was bare faced, rid of any makeup. However, it wasn’t that which sparked wild thoughts in his mind, it was what she was wearing. A white lacy bustier met by a voluminous white petticoat and a garter holding her stockings in place. She looked straight out of his wildest fantasies and he had to clear his throat before he could say anything else to her.

     - I can get the maid to prepare you some breakfast, if you wish. - he tried to look at anything but her body but god, did she looked like the most delightful thing he’d ever set his eyes on. - Anything you want. 

     - I think I’ll just sleep for a little longer. - she gave him her signature sweet and soft smile. He just nodded, afraid his voice would fail him as she passed by, her floral scent invading all his senses. She always smelled nice and he felt like a teenage boy admitting just how her scent alone drove him wild. Flowery, fresh, exactly what he expected someone of that level of naiveté to smell like. Innocent. 

As she disappeared from the hallway onto her bedroom to sleep until a regular hour, Sebastian bolted into his and from there straight into his own personal bathroom. Taking his clothes off, he stepped into the shower and turned the cold water on. He knew better not to think that way about her, specially her of all people who’d probably be by his future wife’s side for the rest of her life. Yet, he couldn’t. He couldn’t stop thinking of her plump lips, her polite sweet little smile and how the lace stood against her skin. Fuck. She was the most gorgeous little thing ever created.

The water rushed down his back, pooling at the porcelain floors of his shower while his hands were held up against the dark marbled walls. His lips were slightly parted as his mind took him back to her, her breasts caged by her bustier, her slightly parted plumped lips she would bite on whenever she felt any sort of embarrassment ... god did he want to bite that lip himself. At this point, half his mind was telling him to go for it while the other half was telling him he was going to hell for this, for thinking about such a precious thing is such a dirty manner. Hell didn’t scare him, he already had a first class ticket there so he might as well relish into the sins of the flesh. 

His hand lowered down from the wall down to his bulge, mind fixated on Y/N, on the memory of when he had first meet her. God, she looked even more stunning on her knees and he couldn’t help but imagine her plump lips around him, taking all of him with those innocent eyes starring up. 

He gripped his cock, taking a long initial stroke up and down and then a few more times. A loud groan escaped his lips as he pictured her on his bed, how pretty she would look moaning and squirming under him as she brought her to the best type of pleasure possible.

     - Fuck, Y/N ... - he moaned, thumb swiping over the red tip and threw his head back. He stroked himself a couple of times more in corkscrew like motions, groaning as he reached his release. - Fuck. 

He leaned his head against the wet marble walls, feeling the cold water rush down his back. Fucking hell, how was he gonna cope with her constantly padding around his house with an innocence of a Disney princess come to life. As he stepped out of the shower, he heard a knock on his door. It better not be fucking Gwen, he thought to himself. The last thing he needed was for Gwen to come over and annoy him with trivial questions. 

Sebastian pulled his underwear and sweatpants from the floor, putting them on before walking to the door of his bedroom, opening it to see a very concerned Y/N standing there. 

    - Are you alright? I heard you calling out for me? - god fucking damn it, he thought to himself. There she was standing worried about him and all he could think about was picking her up and throw her into his bed. - You have very thin walls. 

    - I think it might just be your lack of sleep playing tricks on you, angel. - Sebastian glanced at her face wondering if she had bought it, yet considering she was very tired and it was 5.30, she did. However, there was a hint of worry in her eyes. 

   - Are you sure? You look really red. - she raised her hand, moving it to touch his forehead which she would’ve done successfully had Sebastian not grabbed her wrist mid air. He knew that what he needed the least right now was for her to touch him. If she did, he would’ve probably need to jump back into the shower and stay there for a good hour. 

    - I’m alright, Y/N. Go back to bed and sleep. - Y/N wasn’t very convinced he was alright but decided to return to her bedroom nonetheless. She sat on the edge of her mattress, wondering if sleep was ever gonna come back. 

After a few minutes rolling around in her sheets, she came to the conclusion she couldn’t go back to sleep. Y/N got dressed in some leggings and a big hoodie, finally getting rid of the petticoat and the bustier that was starting to make her rather uncomfortable. Opening the door to her bedroom slightly, she peaked her head out, watching Sebastian walk into his office followed by a couple of men, already fully dressed up. She preferred him in his casual wear but by the sheer amount of men following him into his office, she guessed he was about to have a meeting. She sighed, grabbed her phone from the dresser by the door and went down the stairs to the kitchen where one of the maids, Amelia, was. 

   - Good morning, Miss Y/N. - the middle aged woman smiled at the handmaid, the first person she saw today. - What would you like for breakfast?

   - It’s okay, Amelia. I can do it myself, you don’t need to tire yourself. 

   - Miss Y/N, it is my job to take care of you and Miss Gwen. - she turned the kettle on before standing on the opposite side of the balcony. - I can cook you whatever you want.

   - I don’t wanna be a bother.

   - Miss Y/N, if you don’t ask me for food, then what am I supposed to do for the rest of the day? Mr. Stan doesn’t take kindly to people slacking off.

   - Could I get a poached egg on toast, then? - Y/N still didn’t feel comfortable asking for stuff. Technically and contractually speaking she was an employee like Amelia and the other bodyguards yet she still got treated like Gwen. Her mind kept screaming at her it wasn’t exactly fair. - But I do the dishes later, deal?

   - If you insist, Miss Y/N. - Amelia turned the toaster on, slicing two slices of sourdough bread and sticking them in the device before setting the water to boil in order to poach the egg. Y/N just stared, enjoying the low sounds of the kitchen appliances until screams started coming from Sebastian’s office which made her skip a breathe, not expecting the loud noise.

She could hear him scream at his men from his office in a language she had never heard. She wasn’t afraid of him screaming, the time to be scared of him was long gone and she would fear him more whenever she disobeyed him rather than when he screamed at his goons. Y/N was more than used to hear powerful men scream at their employees. She sipped on her tea, eyes moving from his office’s door at the top at the stairs to Amelia who was equally drinking the hot beverage, ignoring the noise. 

In the middle of all the noise, a very annoyed Gwen, still wearing her red gown, came down the stairs. Her eyes were still filled with sleep and laziness while the rest of her features showed a completely lack of ignorance towards the noise that probably woke her up.

   - Amelia, get me the greasiest plate of bacon you can manage and a cappuccino. - Gwen muttered, her head pounding at any amount of noise as she took a place next to Y/N. - This house fucking sucks. 

   - Maybe if you didn’t get drunk that wouldn’t have happened. - Y/N raised from her seat to help Amelia with Gwen’s breakfast order, turning the coffee machine on. The heiress just scoffed, leaning against the plush leather seats of the high chairs standing by the balcony. Who needed a mother’s reprimanding nature when Y/N was around? 

The handmaid placed a cup of coffee in front of Gwen who immediately downed half of it, along with some pain killers to take care of the impending headache caused by too much fine wine and champagne. Nevertheless, much to Gwen’s annoyance, the screams got louder as the door to the office opened and a bunch of very grown yet very scared men walked out still being screamed out by Sebastian who then closed the door with a bang. 

Gwen waved at the men as they entered the lift, her flirtatious nature still shining over the impending doom of her hangover. She was flirty and no matter how engaged she was, she was still gonna be herself and Y/N had to applaud her for that. 

  - I’m gonna take Sebastian some tea. Gwen, please make sure you take those and drink plenty of water, please. - she warned, silver tray in hand. 

Mr. Forrest always enjoyed a nice cold glass of whiskey after a blown out fight with his associates, however, Y/N thought that alcohol wasn’t something Sebastian should be having after last night. Despite him not showing any signs of a hangover, he still had downed a significant amount of champagne flutes while she was by his side and what he needed right now was some nice chamomile tea. 

Filled with courage that was slightly wavering, Y/N climbed the stairs up to his office, fist lightly knocking on the wood of the door. When no answer came, she knocked again but this time she got a very arrogant “What?” back.

  - Sebastian? - she opened the door up to a fringe, eyes roaming inside the office.

  - Y/N, what is it? - his tone seemed to soften as she walked into the room, closing the door behind with her foot. He had to say, he was rather disappointed she was no longer wearing the lacy undergarments. - Is that for me?

  - Yes. - she placed the silver tray on top of his desk. - I thought you would need something to calm you down.

  - The sentiment is sweet, angel, but I severely doubt tea is gonna calm me down. - he sighed and she furrowed her brows. No problem or worry was big enough that it couldn’t at least be temporarily forgotten with a nice warm cup of tea. 

  - Is everything alright? - she asked, concern on her voice. He bite the inside of his cheek lightly before replying to her questions, wondering if he really wanted to explain mob business to her. - Sebastian?

  - Just need to get some affairs in order. Take this as a lesson Y/N, if you want something done correctly do it yourself.

  - I’ve known that since kindergarten. Did they not teach you that? - he chuckled, not being used to hearing her joke around.

  - Please warn Genevieve that I’m going to Paris late this evening to get it sorted. Not that she cares very much about my whereabouts but just in case she wants to smuggle someone else into my home. 

  - You’re going to Paris? - her eyes lit up at the mention of the French capital. She had gone there once with Gwen but she mostly hanged around the resort flirting around with as many men as she could and, as per usual, Y/N had to follow her around to ensure she didn’t get kidnapped or taken advantage of. Not that it was easy to take advantage of Gwen, she just ... needed constant supervision to make sure she made the safest and soundest decision possible. 

   - Don’t get so excited, angel. It’s an highly overrated city filled with people that can’t do their job correctly. - even with the backhand comment, there was still a sparkle in her eye. - If you’d like, you can accompany me but I assure you it won’t be as fun as movies make it sound.

   - Oh no, I can’t ... - she played with her fingers, looking down at her shoes in disappointment. - Gwen is a bit ... sick from last night and I have to take care of her.

   - So? - he lifted an eyebrow at her statement. - Ask her to come too. I’m sure she won’t deny a free trip to Paris.

tag list: @sideeffectsofyou​ @lilya-petrichor​ @xoxohannahlee @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @nikkipea​

UwU the rest of the outline at per request. @lumpy-veev (still unfinished but it's okay! This should be thought of as a rough draft.) 💙

🦝 "RaR 3" or "Breaking Point" 🐍

It would be an unofficial Brawl, which is not allowed, but it happens, and what can you even do?

I see the two as basically ignoring each other's presence upon finding out that the other is there. Of course, as much as they won't admit it, it's making them think of. Everything.

This leads to even more on edge tense atmosphere whenever they would cross each other's path, because even if it’s a big park, you can only avoid someone for so long, especially when you happen to have common associates. (the Coworkers, Tara, etc.)

It doesn’t help they have growing animosity and take every little thing personally for every interaction.. and it’s only been a month or two.

Rumors begin to pick up around the park-- Just a little chatter at the bar. Just a little observation that those two sure have something between them huh? The gossiper is shushed, because did you forget who runs the place? his connection to Byron?

Luckily, the bartender didn’t seem to hear. He was busy cleaning glasses. The topic’s changed. customers continue to come and go.

One who arrives is Piper, who sits down at the bar. It’s busy, so she waits patiently for Barley to get her usual. (he’s good at that.) He sets down a coaster and the glass in front of her, but instead of a greeting and bustling away this time, he sticks around.

“Byron is well on his way to becoming a topic of interest around here...” he tells her.

She leans forward with a smile. “What have they said? And who, for that case?”

He explains what he heard, and omits the names.

Piper thoughtfully considers this. She had noticed this, but hadn’t chalked it up to a personal history, just conflict of interest. (byron was well off, belle was a thief. he would be cautious) Now that she knew, she wanted every drop of intel.

“I can talk to him. we wouldn’t want our dear coworker being talked about, do we?”

“I do not.” Barley replied, tipping his hat to bid her goodbye as he steps away to another client. He lets Piper take care of this, because he likes letting people come to him if they want to talk, and he feels that Byron would have already approached him if that were the case.

~

So, it’s another one of their patented teatime tête-à-têtes.

Piper skirts around the issue before dropping the news of whispers about the two.

But Byron doesn’t humor the topic, and refuses to talk about it.

Piper cheerfully pokes at him. “Crossed paths? Did you know her before the Park? maybe previous business associates? She robbed you, but you had good insurance, and one day she tricked you? Ooh~ Former flames-?"

And then Byron stands up and is about to leave wordlessly until that last suggestion processes bc if he doesn’t clarify now, ugh that’s gonna be what Piper thinks is plausible (kind of, bc he gay af) and he does NOT want that to be a thing.

“She’s a relative,” he says with so much distaste before he leaves that Piper is even more intrigued. but at the same time, there’s something that tells her she shouldn’t fan the fire any further.

they’ve had their share of back and forths, and it’s been a blue moon since something had gotten him so upset that he just up and leaves.

she drops it, and as the #1 gossipmonger of the park, the hushed whispers of “mystery between byron and belle?” is completely stamped out with a dismissive attitude and several “Really? I didn’t notice anything.”

If Byron really and truly didn't want this around the park, she'd honor that.

~

Of course, with QD Edgar on occasional trips with the Gang, that’s the biggest connection the sibs have at the moment.

The first time Edgar name dropped Byron, Belle froze and listened to 2.47 more seconds of the teen's rambles before telling him to get a move on around camp and quit yapping.

Edgar didn't notice this first time around and grumpily went about his way.

But I'm sure there's one thing or another that makes Edgar talk about his dad manager again, and one thing that will really piss Belle off, is comparison.

Tara, who notices the shift in mood, puts herself in between Edgar and Belle and swiftly soothes things over. She suggests getting on with the plan they have (already knowing what Belle will respond with).

"heist cancelled," Belle states, rearing up Elodie and galloping away from camp. (She usually winds down on her own after celebrating a big heist, but never before-- and never had called it quits at that.)

Edgar is put off. Tara muses that it's nothing he could help...

On her own, Belle just contemplates everything. Hours. It brings up familiar memories of being up on the rooftop with her head buried into her arms and knees feeling terrible.

Except now she's more than grown, with her share of things to be proud of and great memories she forged on her own. She's not curled up on herself anymore. She's staring to the long distance of the desert-- her home-- traveling with ease.

That stupid rooftop section of her life is nothing more than a fraction of her well-lived life.

It doesn't make her feel better.

Yet another thing Byron ruins for her without even trying.

She needed a drink.

~

Not wanting to head back to her camp for the night, and not in the mood to try nabbing some good drink, Belle simply walks into the bar and orders something.

Barley treats her the same as any Brawler, despite what he now knows about her.

As far as he was concerned, she came in there as a customer. And as long as she paid, he saw no problem in serving her...

She drinks quietly, and he keeps an eye on her intake.

And eventually, just like with any other customer with something heavy on their mind and enough drinks, words flow easier.

She doesnt use names, and keeps terms vague. Speaks angrily of her parents. Calls the brother a "dumbass of a pushover."

Now, it isnt like he associates Byron as a (pardon his french) 'dumbass' in any way, but it's the way she uses it that makes Barley connect the dots. The tone wasn't as bitter. Almost fond. Almost.

He lightly prods for a little bit more insight, and she gives up a little more as she drinks.

Unlike the other two members of his Trio, it wasn't in his nature to gossip, so this would stay between them.

Barley listens, because that's what she needs right now. Not advice, not interjections or lectures or deflecting the subject. Just someone to listen.

Eventually he cuts her off before she gets too inebriated (and probably causes trouble.)

{I AM going to write this scene out in depth. And cry while doing so.}

~

On the other side, after the season and back at the Gift Shop, Edgar is 🤔🤔 over that incident. He considers talking with Colette but 1) she's as mad as a Colette could be at the fact that he hung out with the NEW BRAWLER and TARA and didnt bother getting her ANYTHING. and 2) tbh she's a blabbermouth.

Byron does his regular check of the shop that day. Making sure Colette hasn't run off and Edgar isnt sneaking a nap.

He welcomes Edgar back from his little trivial loot and shoot games.

While Edgar hadn't even thought twice about it before, he recalls that when he had told Byron he'd be working at a different section of the park (namely with the new Brawler, Belle) he had acted just as dismissive.

Like yeah, there was your usual "old man doesn't get the teens" shenanigans, but Byron had never belittled his interest in anything before. Calling his involvement in the season a 'trivial game' sounded... personal.

He outright asks Colette if Byron was acting weird.

Any snippiness that Colette may have had for 2 minutes diminishes when there's a chance to talk with her favorite person in the world that she's seen little to none of for two months, AND about her favorite topic: Brawlers!

She spills everything she knows, because despite Piper's efforts, theres no secret a Brawler can try to keep when shes around.

She didn't find out everything of course. But she knows that there were questions involving Byron and Belle. Piper hushed it up, so for sure there was something.

Edgar nods. "Totally. I think she was close to rippin' my head off once. I brought up Byron once and she was ready to chew me out." (in case i didn't make it clear, Edgar picked up a slight drawl because of belle)

"Cool!" Colette exclaimed. "..I mean, not the rip your head off part. But that is cool too. I meant do we have lore on our hands?? That nobody ELSE knows!!?"

Edgar shushed her. Byron is in his office but the shop wasn't really sound proof.

......cue shenanigans from the Coworkers trying to figure things out in their very amateurish ways compared to Piper by "sneaking" around and "nonchalantly" trying to get him to admit something.

Byron knows they're up to something, and humors them until realizing the topic when Edgar tries bringing up the Goldarm Season.

He shuts them down even faster than Piper.

Of course, instead of deterring them like her, he just confirms their suspicions. Colette and Edgar are "o yeah we are def going to get to the bottom of this."

~

So, it's plan B! If they even try asking Piper she throws them for such a loop and leaves them so bewildered that Colette even forgets to ask for anything she could keep, and Edgar didnt realize she gave them nothing to work with until they're already out the door and down the street with cake pops in their hands.

So, Plan C! ...Barley.

It's hard to find a time to go there, since it's busy when they get off work. And Barley always seems to be at one place or another....

So the kids choose the perfect time (roughly midday), and just wait for the perfect day... when Byron comes in and checks the shop, then decides on his own that they could handle it for the rest of the shift and leaves them to it.

When the stars align, the teens wait until Byron is out of sight, and close up the gift shop. Their plan is to head to the bar... and maybe try and get something out of Barley..... not much of a plan, but they don't realize it there.

They make haste, running to the bar, because time crunch (when/if complaints start rolling in.)

Bursting through the doors of the Bar, Barley gives them a look. "Don't.. do that, please."

Colette apologizes enthusiastically, and urges Edgar forward. "Ask him! I'll keep watch!"

She hops over to the door and peers through it periodically.

Meanwhile, Edgar is stammering because he didnt plan anything to say, he expected Colette to talk to the robot.

"If you two think I allow underage drinking, I most certainly do not, no matter what Penny says." Barley warns.

"Uhh, no it isn't that. ...Umm. do ya know... well, you would know about Byron, and not Belle, I guess. But they've been acting weird lately, and we want to know why."

. . .

Barley pauses in consideration.

Options and questions flood around his mind, and he still had no answer.

Wonders if he should even mention Belle's visit some time ago, or the fact that he knows more in depth about it than Byron would care for, or that if Piper found out he knew more than her, and then told these two over would she be offended? ....Actually, in that case, why was he considering telling them anyway? Well, if they were interested in the topic for genuine reasons...

Edgar doesn't even know what to do either. Barley's not saying anything.

Colette squeaks, and scrambles from the door. "Edgar!! Any luck here? Because we're out of it over there!"

"What?"

"I think I see Byron heading here!!"

Who would have thought.

this is where i kind of dropped off the outline, but to continue/wrap it up, Barley points them to the curtain that covers the back room. There's an exit there which he tells them about, but the teens stay to EAVESDROP bc they care.

Barley and Byron chat. the conversation dips into the area having to do with Belle.

Byron frowns. "If I didn't know any better, I would think you're trying to get me to admit something, Barley. I can understand Piper, but you?"

"Me?" Barley asks. "Sir, you know I never mean harm."

"..." Byron stares at him unconvinced. "If Piper did put you up to this, you can tell me."

"U.. Believe it or not, I am among others in this park who care about you, Byron."

"...." wouldn't that be nice. But Byron believes him. My bad. He humors his coworker for now. "Fine." And asks for a drink.

Barley gets him his preferred one. [Lol I'll come up with it eventually.]

They talk. Barley finds out a little more. But just a little bit. Byron... it isnt like he has practice talking about ☆~feelings~☆

The teens listening in leave before too long. Colette is like O.O;; and Edgar decides that all they wanted to know was the relation between Byron and Belle, and they got that.

She agrees, and they both leave through the back door.

Byron didn't get as drunk ofc, it's still his working hours. Just enough to loosen up a bit and get through mild robot therapy.

After his leave, Barley sees him off, and then goes to check in the back. They're gone and he has a brief "oh, thought they would have gotten the hint to, listen in. Oh, well."

[There's one more event, involving the Coworkers interacting with Belle one last time, but still unplanned <3 it leads to the meet up and the fight... somehow though. I'll release that when I think of it.]

I can also see Piper being ":0 you knew before I did? And didn't tell me? You're mischievous, Barley!" In a very light hearted way at the very end.

Barley frets ;;; "I am not!"

Naive

Ray Blackwell x M!Reader

Summary: An invitation at a party reveals that Luka had no idea you’re gay, and brings up a concern you hadn’t had before. Tags: Crack, fluff, secret relationship, mention of homophobia, alcohol consumption A/N: This is based on a dream I had where Luka and I had this exact conversation and when I woke up and remembered it I nearly threw up laughing. I did actual research for the girls outfit and hair bc im a fashion history nerd. the pocket watch i just thought was cute. Fenrir calls the reader fruity but its okay bc hes gay too god bless Word Count: 1.5k

The party was the usual affair expected of the Godspeed's, an air of elegance- present but not too overbearing- hanging over the large hall. Music drifted gently to your ears as you took everything in, a small smile settling on your face.

You couldn't help but feel a little underdressed. The officers had, of course, kept their uniforms on, but everyone else present was dressed to the nines. You'd thought the suit you wore was lovely when you and Seth had seen it last week, dark blue with a white trim, paired with a pale cyan tie and pocket square. The gold watch that settled comfortably in your pocket had been a gift from Blanc, supposedly made by Oliver to look similar to his own, to commemorate your decision to stay in Cradle. Compared to everyone else, it felt rather simple now, but you pushed the thought aside. Nobody was judging what you were wearing, they were here to enjoy themselves same as you.

"Would you like a drink?" Ray asked, voice soft enough not to startle you too much. This wasn't too effective, as you'd gotten lost in your thoughts, and sort of forgotten there were people around you, but it was kind of him to try. "Oh, yes, please." You smiled at him and a moment later he'd walked off, talking to Sirius about something, leaving you alone with Luka. Fenrir had disappeared to greet his family when you'd first arrived, and Seth was who knows where, but you didn't mind it being just the two of you. Luka rarely came to these, in fact this was the first he'd been to since you'd arrived in Cradle, despite it being your fifth, and you decided someone should stick with him so he didn't feel quite as nervous.

As you turned to say something to him, you noticed a lady making her way over to the both of you, looking rather flustered. Her fists were clenched at her sides, and she seemed to be muttering something to herself, but it was clear she had intent to speak to one of you. Perhaps she wanted to talk to Luka? He was cute, it wouldn't surprise you. What did surprise you, however, was when she walked up to you instead.

"Um, excuse me if this is far too forward, but... would you be interested in dancing with me?" She sounded so nervous, and you almost wanted to say yes. Any other man would have been lucky to get such an invitation- she looked stunning. She wore her hair in curls, gathered at the back of her neck, with a hairpiece of pale blue flowers was pinned at the front, a necklace donning the same type of flower hanging just above the neckline of her gown. The gown in question matched the colour of the flowers well, though the width of the crinoline supported skirt would have made you concerned about the logistics of dancing with her- if you'd had any intention of saying yes. Her cheeks were tinted pink as she chewed her bottom lip and waited for your answer, avoiding your gaze. A hand on your chest and a sincerely apologetic look on your face, you began to respond. "Oh dear. I'm terribly sorry, but you seem to have gotten the wrong end of the stick. You're a very attractive young lady but I'm afraid... how should I put this," You glanced at Luka for help, but he seemed to have no idea what you were trying to tell her, "I'm afraid I don't tend to set my eye on the ladies, so to speak." "You're... gay?" A sympathetic nod. "That's the ticket. Sorry, love." "Oh, it's not a problem! I'm really sorry to have bothered you!" She suddenly looked much less nervous, though a little embarrassed, and scurried off. You sighed. "I feel a little bad. I really hope she finds someone to dance with." Luka looked at you quizzically. "Why did you lie to her?" A confused laugh escaped you. "I'm sorry?" "You told her you were into guys. Why lie?" As he said this, Seth and Fenrir came up behind him, and hearing his question their eyebrows shot up. So did yours. Was he kidding? "Luka, sweetie, you have got to tell me what part of my personality made you think I was heterosexual, so I can set about changing it immediately." Seth choked on his drink, and though you flashed him a grin, you weren't entirely kidding. Going from Victorian London to a world where being gay was perfectly acceptable had been quite the change, but you'd been certain all of your friends had known. It's not like you were quiet about it, and sure, Luka was naive but... come on, now. "Wait are you... you were being honest?" "Yes?" "Luka," Fenrir began, stepping next to you and resting an elbow on your shoulder, "How have you seriously not noticed that he's gay yet?" "Well- there was no reason for me to assume!" "You watched me drunk make out with at least 2 different Black Army soldiers in my first month here!" Luka looked flustered, and utterly dumbfounded. The expression was one he wore often, usually when people insinuated that someone was in love- but somehow about five times more confused. He was unfortunate enough that Ray and Sirius returned at this moment, just in time to hear both your last remark, and his next one.

"I thought that was just something you did when you were drunk?" In another moment you were on your knees, legs shaking so much from laughter that you couldn't hold yourself up any longer. Fenrir was right there beside you, practically convulsing. Everyone else was laughing too- except poor Luka. You felt a little bad, truly you did, but this had to be the funniest thing you had ever heard. "He's completely straight, but watch out! Get a couple drinks in him and he turns fruity!" Fenrir managed to get out between cackles, and Ray was glad to have put your drinks down when Luka had last spoken, because he too nearly fell to the ground at this.

"Luka- Luka I'm sorry." You pulled yourself to your feet, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "We aren't laughing at you." Another fit of giggles overcame you. "Okay we kind of are, but it's not malicious or anything. That was just... hands down the funniest thing you've ever said." It took most of you 5 or so minutes to fully calm down from what he'd said, and anything that jogged your memories of it would bring you back to a state of uncontrollable laughter for the rest of the night. Luka came round to it being pretty funny after you talked him through the dozens of times you'd mentioned your sexuality to him since you'd met- every one of which had gone over his head.

Hours after the party had worn down and you'd all made your way home, you lay in bed, your head pressed against a familiar chest, and sighed. "What's up?" "I just... D'you think anyone else just hasn't realised?" Ray cocked his head, confused. "I'm gonna need a little more info than that, kitten." "I suppose I just... Back in London, it's not even legal to be gay, and I don't know if it ever will be. When I first came out to Fen, he told me that it was fine here, accepted and even celebrated. So, I guess I just thought that people wouldn't make the automatic assumption that I'm straight, y'know? I mean I talk about it a lot among you guys but- when I’m out and about... where do people think my final destination is? When I pick up a silly cat themed gift for you does the shopkeep think I’m buying it for my wife? It shouldn't be a big deal, I guess, but I'd never been able to be myself until I came here, and now it's like I can be me but... people will still only see who I am if I tell them. It's just weird is all. I dunno. Maybe I'm drunk." "You're not drunk. It's an understandable concern. I guess I've never thought about it, because whether or not people would accept that part of me has never been an issue, but the fact that you've had to hide it for so long and now that you're able to be open people still aren't seeing it must be hard. If you want we could... come out, so to speak?" Your eyebrows raised, and you moved back, propping yourself up on your arm so you could look your partner in the eyes.

It had been decided at the very start of your relationship, which had officially begun a few months after you'd made the choice to stay in Cradle, that the two of you would keep it under wraps for a while. Being from the Land of Reason was more than enough reason for people to take an unwanted interest in you, and you didn't need the extra attention being the King of Spades' partner would garner. Plus, anyone with a grudge against Ray would see you as a target the second you announced it. It had been a sensible suggestion on his part, one you hadn't hesitated to agree to, and as far as you knew only Sirius and Fenrir knew about your relationship. Fenrir because he had walked in on you sitting in Ray's lap while he worked late one night, and Sirius because- well, can anything get past that guy? And now, Ray was offering to tell the entirety of Cradle you were his, just so that you didn't feel like you were hiding your identity anymore? You could feel your eyes starting to burn, and you cursed the late hour and the alcohol in your system for making you cry so easily, but... "I don't think we need to be that drastic. You were right when you said it would keep me safe for us to not be in the public eye, at least for now. I'm sure Seth can come up with some better way for me to tell the whole world I'm gay." "I don't doubt that at all." Ray grinned, placing a gentle kiss on first your forehead, then your nose, and finally on your lips. "Tomorrow, though. You need your beauty sleep." "Ah, yeah, can't risk getting ugly. My boyfriend might not want me anymore." You quipped. "Exactly." He smirked at you, turning out the light and pulling you into his arms.

absolutely adore the way you write the greens! so buttercup and butch and just domestic bliss? just any fluff is fine!

first, I’d like to apologize for long this took, and then I’d like to apologize for how long this is...she got a little out of hand but I hope you like it!

                                                   Family Trips

Butch was happy. Quite frankly, he couldn’t recall a time in the last few years that he hadn’t been happy, but today he was especially happy. 

Buttercup had offhandedly mentioned needing some basic things for around the house when they had been cleaning up after dinner one night and he knew their four year old could use a new pair of shoes - God knows that kid went through sneakers like a maniac but Butch supposed between his superpowers and being his son that it wasn’t that surprising. So, he had suggested that they take advantage of the upcoming weekend and spend a day downtown. Both adults agreed that now would probably be the best time to get some much-needed shopping done considering the recent drop in monster attacks that usually came with the changing of seasons. 

So, when Saturday rolled around Butch woke in a good mood knowing that this would be a day specifically for spending time with his family. His mood got even better when Bruce was well mannered at breakfast. Despite being very obviously excited for a day out, the boy was showing none of his usual signs of misbehavior even going as far as to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when Buttercup asked him what he wanted for breakfast. 

The car ride to the mall was also uneventful in the best of ways. Bruce sat in his car seat with no objections and talked candidly about all the fun things he would do when he stayed the night at his cousin’s later that day. Butch made a mental note as he drove that a stop at the candy store would probably be in order before they dropped Bruce off at Brick and Blossom’s.

“Mamma?” Bruce ended his excited rant to ask his mother a question,

“What’s up, green bean?” Butch smiled at the nickname his wife had for their son.

“Can I get a dinosaur so I can take it with me and I can play with Bryce?”

“I know for a fact that Bryce had tons of dinosaurs you guys could play with tonight. I’m sure Bryce wouldn’t mind sharing.”

Butch could see Bryce’s face form a small scowl from a quick look in the rearview mirror. 

“Ya but, I don’t have any to play with at home either.”

“Well buddy,” Butch interjected, “you would if hadn’t broken yours.”

Bruce deflated at the memory of why he no longer had any dinosaur toys.

“Here’s the deal.” Buttercup turned in her seat slightly until she could look Bruce in the face, “If you behave, maybe Daddy and I will let you pick out a new dinosaur.”

Bruce immediately perked up at the possibility of a new toy,

“Really?”

“Only if you behave the whole time.”  At that, Buttercup reached to tug playfully on one of Bruce’s legs.

The little boy pulled back and roared, throwing his arms up. Butch could only assume that he was pretending to be a dinosaur. He let out a chuckle as Buttercup continued their little game until Butch found a parking spot.

“Ok mister dinosaur,” Butch opened the passenger side door and helped Bruce out of his seat, “remember the deal.”

Bruce smiled up at his father, “Behave!”

Butch chuckled before holding his hand out for Bruce to hold onto as they crossed the parking lot and entered the typically crowded mall.

For his credit, Bruce sat patiently as a store clerk fitted him for new sneakers - green of course. He politely gave his input on what dress his Mamma looked prettiest in for her interview with his aunties the next week. He even ate his lunch in the food court without making any more of a mess one would expect from a four-year-old.

After lunch, the small family had just two more things from their list to pick up. Thankfully, the sheets and towels that Buttercup preferred were found in the same store.

“Mamma,” Bruce tugged on Buttercup’s hand as they made their way inside the homeware shop, “can I ride in the cart?”

Buttercup looked at the lines of grey shopping carts that Bruce was currently pointing at.

“Are you going to stay in the cart the whole time?”

The little boy nodded his affirmation so Butch made his way over to snag one, ruffling Bruce’s hair as he went.

Butch knew when he suggested this family day at the mall that Bruce would most probably be tired by the end and he could tell his original instinct when, instead of floating up into the seat himself, Bruce lifted his arms up to Butch. He made a show of lifting the boy into the little plastic seat upfront - even without his powers, it would take minimal effort considering that Bruce was a little small for his age - causing the four-year-old to giggle.

“You’re silly Daddy.”

“Am I? Or are you just really heavy?”

“Am not! Mamma, am I heavy?”

Buttercup chuckled at her two boy’s antics,

“No baby, but Daddy is.”

Butch scoffed, placing a hand over his heart in mock indignation and hurt. Buttercup turned her head slightly but didn’t stop pushing the cart towards where she knew the sheets would be. Bruce laughed at his parents' familiar back and forth.

“That’s pure muscle you're talking about, woman! Heavy my ass.” Butch said once he caught back up.

Buttercup gave him a look. Bruce tended to repeat words he learned from his Dad and, more often than not, it would lead to a scolding for her from her older sister. He mouthed a sorry towards her but they both knew he wasn’t. Personally Butch thought those lectures were kind of funny considering that, before they got together, Brick cursed like a sailor. His older brother would still let something slip every now and again - it never quite ended well for the redhead when that happened.

Bruce seemed to have not noticed Butch’s own slip up though, 

“I’m gonna have mus-cels just like you Daddy!” Butch could tell that, sometimes, Bruce was bothered by his small size. He always tried his best to encourage him when that happened,

“Of course buddy! You’ll get there in time, just like me.”

Buttercup made a beeline straight to the collection of black sheets, stopping in front of the vast choices to decide which ones to purchase. Butch never put in his two sense on these kinds of things. If it were up to him they'd probably be sleeping on the scratchiest sheets in existence - just something to cover the mattress. He’d learned in the years they’d been together though that his wife had skin more sensitive to these kinds of things than him so he usually just let her get whatever she wanted and when he had to pick, he’d just go with whatever was softest.

They'd been standing in silence for a few moments until Bruce spoke up,

“How much longer Mamma?”

“Not much longer green bean. I just need to figure out which one of these is least likely to tear.” Buttercup pushed and pulled the cart in front of her slightly in an attempt to calm Bruce.

“I feel like we just bought sheets.” She said exasperatedly.

“Probably because we did. Ya know, we wouldn’t have to keep buying them if someone would just stop ripping them.” Butch lowered his voice to a level he knew only BC would be able to hear, Bruce not having learned how to train his superhearing to that extent yet.

Buttercup blushed at the implications of the sentence. She looked away from all the sheets for a moment to sneak a glance at Bruce who looked to be on the verge of a twitching episode brought on by his annoyance at all the sheets - a quirk he inherited from his dad. One look at the kid told both his parents that he would need a nap before heading over to the red’s place.

“Hey, the towels are just around the corner. Would you mind - ?”

“Don’t worry, I got you.” Butch didn’t need her to explain to know what her goal here was, they knew each other better than anyone. If they split up they could get out of here faster which meant Bruce could get his nap faster. 

He also knew that no matter how tired he was Bruce would insist on getting his Dinosaur. Butch supposed he earned it - his behavior today had been wonderful aside from currently but who could really blame him?

By the time he found what he considered to be the fluffiest towels available - green, gotta stick with the theme - Buttercup had apparently decided which sheets would put up the most fight against her superstrength. He met back up with her and Bruce in the line for the register upfront, the latter of which was almost jumping out of his seat at this point.

Deciding to avoid disaster before it struck, Butch placed the new set of towels in the cart and gathered the squirming child into his arms. Bruce seemed to settle down once he was no longer confined to the shopping cart.

Looking ahead of him at the long line for checkout Butch made an executive decision.

“Hey,” he turned towards his wife, “I’m gonna take the little man to the toy store and get him his reward.”

“Dinosaur?” Bruce perked up immediately.

Buttercup shot Butch a thankful look before turning to address their little boy,

“Well you held up your end of the deal, it’s only fair we hold up ours. But you still have to behave for the rest of the trip, got it?”

Bruce shook his head eagerly, giggling as his Momma tickled his stomach. 

Butch made to set the boy down so he could walk but was stopped by Bruce’s protest,

“No Daddy.” He tugged on Butch’s sleeve slightly to let him know that he wanted to be carried. 

Usually, he would insist that Bruce walk, he was a big boy after all but Butch knew he would probably be pushing his luck. Butch was a brave man but even brave men did not want to handle superpowered tantrums in a crowded place. 

Placing the boy back on his hip, Butch was reminded of when Bruce was smaller and he’d carry him around more often. His kid was already four now - time really flew by. 

Bruce layed his head down on Butch’s shoulder and, for a minute, Butch thought the boy had fallen asleep due to how quiet he was. He was proven wrong though as soon as the toy store came into view. Bruce immediately began to squirm in his father’s hold - a sign he wanted to be put down. Butch complied but kept a firm grip on the child to avoid a superpowered accident. 

Butch noticed that Bruce seemed to take careful consideration as to which toy he wanted. Eventually, he had narrowed his choices down to either a green and blue-winged dinosaur and a purple t-rex. Bruce looked up to his dad with the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster and, although Butch had a weakness in anything involving his kid, he had prepared himself for this. He schooled his features into what he hoped conveyed sternness.

“One.” He held up a finger to emphasize.

Bruce sighed deeply and Butch tried to hide his chuckle at the blatant show of disappointment. The child stared at the two plastic toys in his hand before ultimately deciding.

“I want the pterodactyl!” Bruce held up his prize to his dad’s face.

“Are you sure?”

“Mhmm, I’m sure Daddy.”

Butch’s superhearing picked up on a few older women swooning over the apparent cuteness of their current scene. 

“Look at how cute they are.”

“Men with babies are just adorable.”

Bruce must have picked up on them because he turned to the end of the aisle and assured the two women that he was most definitely not a baby.

Butch made to apologize on behalf of this kid but the women waved him off,

“Of course, how silly of us. You’ve got quite a brilliant young man on your hands there.”

“Oh,” Butch answered back, “you have no idea.”

The two women laughed. They made a few more comments before leaving, mostly about how handsome Bruce was and how he looked the spitting image of his father - Butch had to agree with both. 

Father and son made their way to the front of the store to pay for the toy.”

“What’s this again, a triceratops?” Butch knew that he was wrong. He lifted the toy towards his face and made a show of examining it just to get a laugh out of his kid. The question was also used to distract the once again noticeably tired child as they waited in line.

“No Daddy,” Bruce sounded exasperated and Butch couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face, “It’s a pterodactyl.” 

“Hmm. You should make sure to show Uncle brick when you see him today ok? I don’t think he knows his dinosaurs very well.” 

Bruce perked up at the idea of teaching his super-smart uncle something new. Butch knew he was being a little shit but he couldn’t help it. Brick wouldn’t correct the little boy but he knew he would be practically dying to give the boy a lecture as to why ‘pterodactyls’ aren’t a real dinosaur and how the proper name was pteranodon (look, Butch was a smart cookie too he just didn’t flaunt it the same way as his brother).

After paying and handing the toy back off to Bruce, Butch checked his phone to see a message from his wife to meet her back at the car.

Bruce once again motioned that he didn’t want to walk. This time Butch placed the kid on his shoulders and Bruce sat contentedly, one hand gripping onto his hair to keep himself steady. One the walk to the car Bruce used his free hand to make his new dinosaur fly, squawking noises Butcha assumed were supposed to be dinosaur sounds occasionally escaped from his mouth.

When they finally made it to where they had parked, Butch saw Buttercup leaning against the car with the various bags they had accumulated over the day sitting on the ground around her feet. He raised an eyebrow at her.

“You have the keys, genius.”  

Despite her rude comment, Buttercup placed a kiss on Butch’s cheek as she haled Bruce off of his shoulders. Bruce happily settled into his mother’s arms, eyes drooping, and head resting on her shoulder. Butch unlocked the doors as Buttercup made her was around the car.

“Are you tired, green bean?”

Butch heard Bruce mumble his dissent and he imagined that the boy was shaking his head although he couldn’t actually see from where he was placing the bags in the back of the car.

Walking back around to the driver's side door Butch could see his wife place a kiss on their son’s head. Bruce responded with another squawk and Butch couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his wife laughing so candidly with their son, happiness exuding from both of them.

The car ride home was just long enough to lull Bruce off to sleep. Buttercup made sure to be gentle as she brought the sleeping child inside the house and up to his room. When he woke he’d be upset that he had indeed succumbed to the nap that he so obviously needed - preferring to have rather gotten to his cousin's house early so he could show off his new dinosaur.

Pulling the covers back Buttercup layed Bruce down in the small bed and carefully tucked the covers around his little body. Bruce shifted, turning from his back to his side and hugging his new toy closer. Buttercup moved his bangs out of his face.

“He’s gonna need a haircut soon,” Buttercup said in a form of acknowledgment of her husband having entered the room. Her voice was low so as to not wake the sleeping child.

Butch hummed, moving away from the door frame where he had been standing and closer to the bed. 

“You need one too.” Butch ran a hand through his hair. She was right. He tended to keep the sides short but the hair on the top of his head was beginning to curl in front of his eyes. 

“I brought all the bags in.” He mimicked her volume level.

“And I suppose that's all you did?” Buttercup said, referring to his habit of bringing in groceries but leaving them on the counter instead of putting them in their right place.

Butch just shrugged,

“ I wanted to come check in on you two. I’ll put everything away later.”

Buttercup turned her head away from him but not fast enough to hide the small smile that tugged at her lips. Looking back down at their son she placed a kiss on his chubby cheeks before standing up from the bed. Butch opens his arms and Buttercup gladly accepts the affection.

“He’s getting so big.” she sighed.

“I know. Thank you for giving him to me. I never thought I’d ever have...anything like this, I -”

“Stop it.” Buttercup sternly interrupted him. “It doesn't matter what you may or may not have done in the past, it’s exactly that - the past. I love you, ok? So much. So does Bruce. That little boy adores you, Butch; you say he’s a Mamma’s boy, but all I see is that he wants to be just like his Daddy. Don’t ever say anything like that again.” By the end of her scolding Buttercup was holding Butch’s face in her hands. Butch leaned in and kissed her.

When they broke apart, Butch looked back over to Bruce who was still sleeping peacefully, hair having fallen back into his face.

“We should have another one.” the words slipped from his mouth before he could stop them,

It was something they'd been considering lately - having another kid. Butch wanted to. Secretly, he was hoping they’d have a little girl. He could see it now; she’d look just like her Mamma and he’d spoil her senseless. Bruce would be a great big brother.

“I want that.”

“What?” he was confused.

“Whatever world you’re thinking up in your head where we’re all happy and loved and Bruce gets a sibling, I want it.” Buttercup was smiling so wide Butch couldn’t help but mirror her. 

“How did you…?”

“You say it all the time, we know each other better than anyone; sometimes better than we know ourselves.”

Butch didn’t think his smile could get any larger but as he stood there with his loving, beautiful wife in his arms and his son sleeping peacefully and contently just a few steps away, he couldn’t help it. His smile was so wide and so bright and yet, Butch knew that it still couldn’t convey just how happy he was, how lucky he was, how...loved he was in this life that he never thought he’d be able to live.

Sweet & Sour / Part 1

**There is now a Part 2, check it out here! 

Blurb Synopsis: You're not sure why you walk into the same bar after the concert, just like you had last year. But when Harry walks in through that door again, and your eyes meet, you find your reason for doing this all over again.

Genre: 2015 Harry, fluff, romance, angst, and mentions of smut.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and drinking as well as one night stands, and references to smut.

Word Count:  5.7k words

Pairing: Harry x Reader 

Music Inspo:  Affair Across a Crowded Room by Murray Head (click to listen bc this so feels like a song Harry would love) 

*

Your senses were bombarded with the sounds of cars honking, street lights flashing, and the ringing of your ears. When your hand meets the grimy wood of the door, you push it open to be met with the smells and sounds of a bar. With the beads of sweat dripping down your skin, the air-conditioned room greets it with a smile. Familiar faces meet your eyes and nods pass between the two of you. The cool metal of the bar stool surprises your bottom clad in jean shorts, even after the countless number of nights you’ve spent in these four walls. 

“Just a Malibu Coke,” you murmur to Sandy, the bartender, when she comes to take your order. 

A group of older men clad in professional suits sit in a corner, their laughter gracing your ears. Blink 182 trickles from the speakers hidden around the room, although you can’t place the song for the life of you. It bothers you and insults the label of ‘music nerd’ you have invisibly tattooed on your forehead. The buzzing between the confines of your skull and the glass she sets in front of you causes you to forget about the song. When your eyes catch the tall figure walk in through the door, the untraceable lyrics of the song are the last thing on your mind. 

The past shoulder-length curls framing his face make you second guess yourself for a few seconds. When he walks by an ancient neon Coors Light bar sign on the wall, it lights his features and clicks with that of the face that’s never left your mind. Not to mention, your dreams. Well, neither that of your eyes either about forty minutes ago, albeit hundreds of feet away. Doubt and insecurity coat your thoughts within moments, and your attention falls back to your drink. The icy glass is slippery between your fingers, but you blame that on the person who just walked back into your deep thoughts, and the few Budweisers you consumed earlier. He steals your thoughts away from you when his footsteps trail to another part of the room, bringing your eyes back to the screen of your phone. 

Texts crowd your screen, and as you draw shapes in your glass with your straw, you avoid them by looking through friends’ snapchats. Scenes from the night you spent together appear in front of your eyes before you close out of them when you get a new text. The question filling your mind is whisked away by the very one that fills your ears to the left of you. Trying to ignore it, you flip your cascading hair over your shoulder. Nights like tonight make you itch to cut it to your shoulders, and never have to worry again about the summer nights making it damp with sweat. 

“Well, aren’t you predictable?” somebody hums with a lilt to their voice. It takes you a tick to locate the voice inside of your mind, bringing your head up and over to them. 

“I live here, so I get to be,” you retaliate, sarcasm dripping from your voice. 

The tanned color of his cheeks creases with a smile he tries to hold back. Soon, it covers his face as the hint of a laugh accompanies it. Lost moments pass between the two of you, and you find yourself admiring his curling locks that cover the collar of his button up. The very ones that around this time last year your fingers could run through comfortably. Unsolicited, a thought appears in your head wondering how different it would feel to run your hands through them now, although you hardly remember the sensation. 

“Did ya go t’ tha concert tonight?” he wonders aloud, cocking his head past the door and towards the stadium a couple blocks away. His olive-colored eyes break from yours for a moment to thank Sandy when she sets a whiskey sour in front of him. 

You let your glance fall to your drink in front of you, notes of the coconut from the rum meeting your nose. Bringing the black straw to your lips, you take a long drag, making him wait. You wish you could make him wait longer than you can manage, but the bubbly excitement growing in your gut takes hold of your actions. Compromising, you only nod your head with a mumble passing your lips. Crossing your long sun-kissed legs, your red Chuck Taylors nose at the edge of the wooden bar. 

“Again, predictable,” he titters softly, raking his fingers through his hair from the corner of your eye. “What’d ya think then?” he queries, the clanking of the ice against his glass following his accented voice. One you sometimes can’t believe the words you had heard whispered into your ear by it. 

Harry.

Your Harry.

“I think last year’s was better, I’m mad you didn’t sing my favorite this year,” you quip, shrugging your shoulders. Returning the straw to your lips, you quiet your lips with another drink. The molasses taste of the carbonated soda is lined with the tropical yet steely taste of the alcohol. 

You hear him tsking his tongue at you first before an audible exhales leaves him. “Yer gonna get it fer that,” he retorts, a hint of banter heard in his voice. Your mind continues working in overdrive, suddenly wondering if anybody else could detect that. Or is it just because of the night you spent with him in between your sheets much after a scene like this? “Here, take one. And I won’t take no fer an answer, cos ‘s notta choice.”

Finally, you let yourself look over at him, again. A twinkle sits in his eye when he holds out a shot of pink liquor to you, raspberries wafting from the glass. Taking it from him, your fingers brush against each others, causing you to wonder if you imagined it was for a few seconds too long. 

“Cheers,” he smirks, clinking his glass with yours before throwing back the identical contents of that which sit in yours. Your eyes stay locked when the frosty liquid passes your lips, the delightful taste only fleeting until the harsh burn coats your throat. 

“I see you haven’t changed a bit,” you comment with a croaky voice, coughing. You wash it down the burn with another, less sharp, burn. 

“Neither have you, love.”

The voices of Weezer sit in the space between you now, but as you marinate with thoughts buzzing around in your head, the sharp yet sweet smell of his cologne tickles at your nose. The very same smell that lulled you asleep with him beside you, and the very one that ghosted your sheets the subsequent morning you woke alone. 

“I think Fool’s Gold is my new favorite,” you comment shyly, watching how the dark Coke swirls around in the glass, the ice chips almost shining under the light. Your bottom lip comes between your teeth, biting back the truth you want to speak. The thoughts that have consumed you at times return, wondering how certain titles like Change Your Ticket or Night Changes fit your feelings so exactly. Perhaps even his, too. 

“Yeah, I like that one too. ‘s ratha beautiful,” he remarks, a squeaking signaling him taking a seat beside you. The almost undetectable brush of his leg against yours causes a breath to hitch in your throat. “What, did ya forget how t’ talk ova tha last year?” Harry wisecracks, pulling your eyes over to his. 

Caught between his thumb and forefinger, he plays with his bottom lip. The light shines off of its slippery surface, leading to unwanted thoughts blooming between your ears. The trademark dimples have caved into his cheeks, and you’re reminded of how adorable his slightly crooked bottom teeth are as he smiles at you. 

“No, I’ll remember once I have a few drinks in me.”

“Then lemme help,” he replies, calling over the bartender to order a couple more shots. 

Your lips curl with a conflicted smile, but once the shots of Fireball, Tequila, and a Lemon Drop are tickling your throat, you start to let go. 

“Wait, holy shit, is your hair longer than mine now?” you exclaim, words falling short with a laugh. Moving closer to him, your hand grabs a section of your hair to compare side by side to his. 

His eyes fall from the foamy white topping of his golden drink. His lips part, little bubbles sticking to them, “I dunno, looks like ‘s gettin’ there. Not quite, tho’,” he answers, his eyebrows knitting together over his focused eyes. 

“Oooo, I bet I could braid it,” you note excitedly after dropping your hair that somehow doesn’t feel as buttery smooth as his. Soon, your fingers are holding onto a section of his tangled curls, breaking it up into three sections. 

“Hey, watch tha hair, would ya? Tha girls love me hair, can’t have anythin’ bad happenin’ t’ it now.”

“Damn, thanks for the confidence in me, Mr. Self-Absored Rockstar,” you reply curtly, banter clinging to your words. To rile him up, you drop his long brunette lock, turning back to your drink. Away from him. 

“Heeeeey now, I am not and y’know it,” he pouts. From the corner of your eye, you can just make out him looking over at you - brows knitted, lips pressed together, and begging in his eyes. You don’t give in, and instead you lose yourself in the questionably empty glass in your hands. 

“Sandy, can I have another?” you call out, avoiding his question and his sulking, but not when his knee bumps yours. 

“‘m talkin’ t’ you, y’know. ‘m not self-absorbed,” Harry repeats before taking a pull from his drink, a rather long one. You can only wonder why. 

A smile tempts at the corners of your lips, enjoying how you’re making him squirm. Because you always thought he was the king of being able to make somebody do that, not you. A memory plays before your eyes, reminding you of how much he made you squirm when you were sitting at this very bar, last year. Alcohol in both of your veins, and goosebumps covering your flesh. Especially when he pressed that first kiss to your lips. 

Pushing it away, you clear your throat before thanking Sandy when she sets another drink in front of you. With your lips wrapped around the straw, they part, “Sure, keep telling yourself that, bud. You’re not gonna get me with that pout, so don’t even try it on me.”

“Hmmph, that’s not whatcha said befo’,” he whines, turning back to the drink he nurses. 

Yeah, we said and did a lot of things the last time. 

I really wish you hadn’t said that, or done anything in the realm of reminding me of the last time, because I don’t need you reminding me when I can’t stop remembering. 

The thoughts racing through your head almost make you want to leave right then and there, but something stops you. His hand. It touches you arm and when you look over, he smiles at you goofily with white foam covering his top lip. Like a mustache, or like Santa Claus. Your lips dissolve into a laugh, and those thoughts fall to the recesses of your mind. Not gone, but still there, like they’ve been for the last year. His rose-colored lips echo your own laugh, the two sounds mixing together and creating your favorite song in the entire world. One that you thought you had forgotten the sound of. 

Perhaps not after all. 

You watch how his lips move effortlessly when he orders a couple of more shots for the two of you, and another whiskey sour. Your insides shrink at the sight of his lips when his tongue passes over them, and then at the way the light shines on them. You observe how they move with every word that he speaks to you, although embarrassingly because you have to ask him to repeat himself. You don’t mind, though. 

“I ordered us sum more shots,” he tells you with a little nod, carding a hand through his hair to restyle it. Your fingers ball into a fist in your lap, wanting nothing more than to be touching those curls again. The very ones that fell over your face so intimately and tickled the insides of your thighs once long ago. Glancing away from him, that night seems like it was a lifetime ago. With him sitting next to you, so close that you could touch him, you think perhaps now it doesn’t feel so long ago. Then again, the few inches of distance between you detest that, feeling instead like miles. 

“Thanks,” you mutter, picking at your chipped red nail polish. 

“I like it, it suits you.”

Lifting your head, you find one corner of his mouth quirked into a partial smile. He does that thing again where he nods to what he’s talking about. This time it’s your lap, and more specifically, your anxious hands accented with the nail polish. Another ‘thank you’ exits from your lips before you busy them with your painfully cold drink. The second you set it down on the red and white patterned coaster, he places a red and blue layered shot beside it. The alcohol in it seems to defy the laws of gravity with the blue layer sitting atop the red layer undisturbed. 

“Cheers t’ reunions,” Harry mumbles, a hint of lemon flowing from his words to meet your cheek. 

“Cheers,” you agree, picking up the shot. 

Turning to your left, you find him there waiting with a smile. It gleams in his eyes that are beginning to change from the liquor. You notice this when your glasses meet with a ding! Throwing back the shot you remember is called a Pornstar, you hope the alcohol laced with notes of oranges and berries will make you forget. But they don’t make you forget the smile that claimed his face that night as he made love to you. Or the same one that you saw on his lips when he spoke his first words to you tonight. 

“Ya still at tha U ova there?” he questions, bringing a giggle from your lips when he tries to nod to where the college would be. It’s obvious he doesn’t know what direction it’s in, even if the stadium you saw him perform in tonight was on the campus, unbeknownst to him. 

“No, I didn’t go back this fall.”

“Hmm, how come? I thought ya were likin’ tha nursin’ program ya were in,” he inquires, causing feelings to bloom inside of you. Ones you’d rather not feel because of the fact that he remembered. Amidst all of the alcohol from that night, as well as tonight’s. 

“I found out I didn’t like it, and I couldn’t see myself spending my life doing it, either,” you explain, trying to douse your thoughts in more rum from your mixed drink, but you’re still only at a buzz. There’s a long way to go until you’re drunk, and you’re uncertain if you want to go that far. 

“Mmmm, ya couldn’t see yerself wipin’ old people’s asses, could ya?” he quips, glancing over at you. A smirk plays on his lips in the background, his lips hidden behind his full coupe glass. 

“No, I tried when I worked at the nursing home, and I found out quickly it wasn’t for me.” 

His laugh tickles at your ears, reminding you quickly of all of the times you missed it, as well as how good it was to hear it earlier tonight. It’s only made better when your eyes flit to him, and you find him biting the flesh of a cherry from its stem. You’re itching to continue sharing, but there’s not enough alcohol in your system to do that, quite yet. 

“I bet ya I can tie it into a knot again,” Harry murmurs, words masked by the maraschino cherry between his lips. 

You remain silent, and the only acknowledgement he receives is the moving of your head. The words are slowly getting to you, sneaking in past the defense of alcohol you try to build to ward them off. 

Before. 

Again. 

Last time. 

“I bet you can’t,” you finally argue, resolve in your voice.

“Do ya now? Whatcha gonna bet then, love?”

“Hmmm, I bet you twenty bucks you can’t after all of the drinks you’ve had,” you counter, your chin finding your palm to rest in, your eyes locked on his.

“Oh ye o’ li’l faith,” Harry scoffs, brows pointed down into a V, his curls tickling his chest. Playing with his bottom lip, he squints an accusatory eye at you, adjusting the striped white and black button down revealing his sun kissed chest. 

The heaviness in his voice finds your Achilles heel, stirring feelings in your gut that you’d wish would remain silent. 

“I bet I can, I even betta kiss from you,” he giggles, pink appearing on his cheeks as he chews on the tip of the red stem. 

Your breath hitches in your throat when his proposition hits the air. It’s nearly impossible to hide away the happiness budging at your lips, especially as you watch it unfold on his face. That face with the devilish grin and shining eyes. Drowsiness tugs at the corner of them, and you wonder if only you can see it there. 

“Deal’s a deal,” you announce, removing your hand from your lap to hold out to him. His large hand adorned with rings and black ink wraps around yours. You could melt right there and plant your lips on his that very second, you’re sure of it. Somehow, his firm yet sweet handshake wants to make you believe he’d like that, especially when he doesn’t let go. 

Slipping the stem between his excited lips, new goosebumps prickle on the back of your neck. You just hope that he doesn’t notice them growing on your arms, and that they aren’t covering your hand that’s enveloped in his. That he doesn’t feel them under the pad of his thumb that he brushes along the back of your hand. Few thoughts live in your mind at the moment, his eyes staring into yours as your joined hands sit on his thigh clad in holey black jeans. A few titters escape his concentrated lips and his eyes jump to the ceiling, meanwhile his lips move as he tries to tie it in a knot. All while your insides mimic the same shape as you’re reminded of the saying about people who can tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue. 

“Come on, Styles,” you mumble, raising your eyebrows at him. He rewards you with a laugh, and his thumb stills against your hand, his face screwing up in concentration. 

A few seconds later, he squeezes your hand and a smile covers his face. Wiggling his eyebrows now, one corner of his mouth reaches his ear. His lips part, and he sticks out the stem, adorned with a knot in the middle. 

“Can’t believe ya didn’t believe in me, love. ‘m hurt,” he pouts, a fake cry sounding from his frowning lips. Kicking your foot against his under the table, he chuckles as he sets it down next to his drink. “Alright, betta pucker up, angel.”

Biting your lip, you watch his adam’s apple bob when his drink meets his lips. Setting it down, he rubs his hand across yours, the same shade of red donning his cheeks as yours. 

“Fine, let’s get it over with,” you groan, trying to remember the last time you put chapstick on. You just hope your lips don’t taste like beer by now. 

He winks at you before leaning in and catching your chin between his two fingers. Pulling you forward, you let your eyes fall shut, and soon you feel his breath on your face. The brash smell of alcohol sweetened with lemon, and a hint of cherries. You taste the sweet, and then the sour when his lips touch yours. His top lip is soft between yours, and prickly from the stubble smattered across his skin. He smiles into the kiss, moving his lips with yours as he laces his fingers with your own, his rings cold against your skin. Then you taste it at the back of your throat, the sweet and then the sour. 

Breaking the kiss, you pull away, unsure of if you can do this again. If you can try to detach yourself from your head for another night, only to have it eat away at you for the next year- who knows how fucking long. 

“Nah, come back ‘ere,” Harry whispers quickly, his fingers crawling to your cheek, and then the back of your head. 

He pushes at the back of it, smashing his lips against yours once more, and you let him. Melting into a puddle in front of him, because that’s what you do best. That’s what you’ve done all these years yearning for him over his pictures and his songs. Then from the crowd at his concert last year, swearing he made contact with you once while singing your favorite, Happily. Once again, just earlier tonight when you stood in the sea of people at another concert of his, feeling yourself fall all over again, and now you know you are. 

You should stop it right here and right now, but you try to ignore the convincing hurt that will follow if you just let yourself enjoy the moment. As well as the moments that follow. 

His fingers find a home in your hair as you savor his lips between yours, pillowy soft and sopping with sweetness. Tasting of lost time, forgotten kisses, and the bittersweetness that you know another night with him will bring. Ignoring it, you kiss him back, your hands climbing his thigh until your thumb collides with his crotch. Giggling against his lips, you stop there, but wish you didn’t have to. A titter leaves his lips, followed by his tongue edging at your bottom lip. Somebody slurs ‘get a room’ with a laugh, and your lips soon part. 

A chuckle hugs his lips now, no longer yours, much to your disappointment. You find comfort in your drink, although after a few gulps, you find yourself missing the taste of him. As well as his smell, much like vanilla and spice, quickly reminding you of the saying in Powerpuff Girls. 

Recalling it, you guess at notes of warm nutmeg, tobacco, and hints of vanilla bean clinging to him. Just like the last time, but somehow it surrounds you, almost taking the breath away from you. You had tried so hard to remember just how he smelled, always wishing you knew the name of the cologne he wore. It’s too late when you realize it, but you’re smiling into your drink. You’re unsure if you ever want to stop, you ponder, suddenly remembering the tautness of his upper thigh beneath your hand. 

Your hands.

“Can we getta check, please?” Harry murmurs next to you, his fingers moving between yours slowly. More goosebumps rise along your body at his words that come rushing from his mouth. 

Sandy walks over to you, braid bouncing on her shoulders. She sets the check down and thanks you both for coming. Harry plucks the check from the table, before it’s even had time to lay flat on the tabletop. Grinning, he looks at it as he holds it away from you in his left hand. 

“No, you don’t get to do this again!” you exclaim, lips melting into bubbly laughter. 

“Do what, love?” he questions dumbfoundedly, giving you a funny look that only makes you laugh harder. 

“Pay the bill! Let me do it this time,” you argue, trying to reach past him, but he uses his long arm to his advantage. “Ugh, why do you do this?”

“I haven’t done anythin’,” he disagrees, placing the receipt between his fingers as he reaches behind him, still facing you. Watching, he grabs his leather wallet from his back pocket, all while holding the receipt and not letting go of your hand. His name drops from your mouth, and he acts as if he didn’t hear it, but his lips tell you otherwise. 

“Shhh,” he tells you, in the middle of a giggle. “I pay, that’s jus’ how it goes, so stop arguin’, cuz ‘s not gonna change me mind.”

Glancing over to you, he meets your searching eyes and cocks one eyebrow. His glistening lips do something to you, and you think he knows it, because he drags your joined hands to the hardness between his legs. Winking, he softly tosses his credit card and the receipt to the table. Picking up his drink, your eyes follow his tongue as he scoops up the ivory bubbles at the top, all while looking at you. Certain you’re blushing, you turn away and pick up your drink, quickly downing the rest as he gulps loudly beside you. 

The lukewarm summer air welcomes your skin when you step out onto the sidewalk. Busying your hands with the cloth strap of your purse, you walk beside Harry who taps away on his phone. Soon, you reach a stoplight and unsure of where you’re going, or more like where each of you are going, you come to a stop. Lips poised and ready with a question, you’re about to ask him what the plan is. He beats you to it and presses the button to wake the crosswalk, sliding his phone into his tight jeans. 

“Ya still make those ‘outta this world’ cinnamon rolls?” Harry wonders aloud as you stare ahead. The lights of the metro flash in front of your eyes, and the sounds of cars and people trickle past you. 

“Yeah. You’re lucky, I made a batch this morning and I have a few left over.”

“Great. Ya think I could stop by t’ have one?” Harry requests. Words pause between your lips, and he steals them away from you when he intertwines his hand with yours. “Let’s hurry befo’ it stops,” he blurts out, walking forward and pulling on your hand to follow him across the blinking crosswalk, just as you hum an ‘mmmhmm’. 

You can’t remember what you talked about on the way to your apartment, because all you could focus on was his hand in yours. Something he didn’t even do the last time, and you start to wonder why, before you stop yourself. Words pass between the two of you during the short walk, but the songs of the city do most of the talking. 

Soon, you’re turning on the lights in your apartment, calling out for your roommate. It takes you a minute to remember past your alcohol buzz that at the concert she said she was staying somewhere else tonight. Toeing off your shoes, you watch Harry discard his to the mat by the door. 

“Aha, there they are!” Harry cheers, padding over to the kitchen. He finds the round baking dish full of them, peeling back the wrapping to pluck one from the dish. “I swear ya make tha best cinnamon rolls ‘ve eva had, angel,” he murmurs, locking eyes with you as he takes a bite. Closing his eyes with a smile adorning his lips, he moans from the taste. 

Giggling, you take off your purse and hang it on a chair sat at the other side of the counter where you often eat your meals. Seeing as it’s a tiny apartment and just the two of you, you and your roommate opted out of buying a table to eat at. The old pet name bounces around inside of your head, and drags your eyes over to Harry. Lifting his own from the large cinnamon roll, it astonishes you how it shrinks in comparison to his massive hand. He looks back at you while licking the sugary frosting from his lips, a smile tugging at them. A knowing smile. 

“Wann’a bite?” he volunteers, holding it out to you where you stand across the counter from him. He tempts you alright, but the only thing you want to taste on your lips is his coated in frosting. 

“Sure.”

Padding over to him, his thumb ventures between his lips, licking the frosting from them. He really knows what he’s doing, doesn’t he? you groan inwardly, wishing you could spew the words out loud. You know they’d jumpstart something, and you don’t think you can wait for it any longer. Your footsteps stop in front of him, and he holds out the half eaten pastry to you. Although from this morning, the silky bread still melts on your tongue, decorated with the flavors of cinnamon and sugar. 

“Wait, ya got some frosting on yer nose,” Harry smiles. Soon, his thumb brushes against your nose, wiping it away. You don’t let him stop there, grabbing his wrist and bringing his digit between your lips. 

Observing the changing expression on his face, you suck the frosting from his thumb. Letting go of his thumb slowly, he looks like he’s slowly losing his mind in front of you. Join the club, bud. 

“Yer givin’ me a run fo’ me money tonight, aren’t ya, angel?” he rasps, bopping your nose with his finger before he takes another bite. You nod unabashedly, licking your lips before you turn to walk away. His sigh is just a whisper, but your ears pick it up as you make your way to the bathroom, leaving him to squirm once again. 

After splashing cold water on your face and freshening up, you find him at home on your tan sectional. Looking at something on his phone, he hears your return and soon his sparkling eyes find yours. 

“You look tired,” you smile, breaking eye contact to check your watch. “It’s almost one, Harry. You must be tired after tonight.”

“Not really, I think ‘s tha jetlag,” he lies, leaning back into the plush cushions of the couch, letting his eyes fall closed after all. Settling down beside him, you stretch out, looking around the room hurriedly to check for any messes. Luckily, you and your roommate had left your apartment rather neat this afternoon before leaving for the concert. Just a few discarded clothes on the floor and hanging off of chairs. 

“You’re such a liar. Do you wanna call an Uber or somebody to bring you to your hotel? I’d drive you, but I probably shouldn’t after those drinks,” you comment, your eyes falling over him. The light catches the silver cross necklace hanging around his neck, and how it moves with his chest that lifts slowly with his every breath. 

“‘m not tired, jus’ thinkin’,” he insists, opening his eyes and turning his head towards you. You can’t help it, your fingers dive into his hair, pushing it back. He smiles dopily up at you, a faint mewling dropping from his lips at the sensation. 

“I don’t believe you. Do you want to go to sleep? You can have my bed,” you offer, your fingernails lightly scratching against his scalp. With your eyes on each other, you know that you have him in the palm of your hand now, and you don’t want him to go anywhere. 

He remains silent, his eyes closing again as you play with his hair, unaware this was something he enjoys. You didn’t really have the chance to explore this as much last time, although you were dying to. His name leaves your lips in a question, wondering aloud if he’s fallen asleep. His head goes from side to side and he opens his eyes, blinking hard at you. 

“No, don’t wanna go t’ sleep. There’s sumthin’ else I wanna do instead.”

“What’s that?” you ask, his lemony breath ghosting over your face. His lips curl up towards his eyes, dimples collapsing into his cheeks. 

“You,” he smirks, sitting up. Your eyes roll so hard into the back of your head at his dad joke that you don’t see him slip his arms under your thighs, hoisting you over his shoulder in one swift move. 

“Harry!” you almost scream, losing your breath when your chest meets his back in a surprising turn of events. “What are you doing?” you groan, your face coming to meet his ass almost, not that you’re complaining. 

“You’ll see soon enough, angel,” he murmurs in response, and he begins to walk. 

You can’t play the annoyed card anymore, because excitement shivers through your body quickly. Inside your chest, underneath your One Direction shirt and the layers of your body, your heart goes wild. It hasn’t been able to stop ever since his fingers touched yours earlier tonight. It only dances harder inside of you as his footsteps near your bedroom, one he seemingly remembers the route to well. Feeling spunky and sick of it teasing you, being right there and all, your hand hits his ass with a satisfying clap. 

“Heeeey!” Harry titters as you squeeze his soft bum, seconds before he throws you forward. Leaving his arms, your back soon hits the springy surface of your bed. “I guess ya can do what ya want with me tonight, cuz ‘m all yers, baby. Again,” Harry coos from above you, crawling onto the bed to kneel over you with his hands planted on either side of your head. 

At a loss for words, you just stare up at him, your mouth permanently curving upwards. Moonlight pours in from the window, his skin glowing underneath it. 

“I thought ya rememba’d how t’ talk afta we had those shots,” he winks, his eyes dancing along your face as his hand comes to cup your cheek. Your own are tempted to roam his body, and the very interesting area between his legs. You just shrug your shoulders at him, and his grin widens. “Maybe ‘ll hafta remind those lips how t’ work then.”

MORE TAGGED POSTS

I got tagged in a bunch more things I didn't respond to fast enough, so UNDER THE CUT THEY GO. 

I have too many things to respond to, so I won't be tagging, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do any.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS

Tagged by the wonderful @bardingbeedle​

Pass the happy!🌻🌿 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Lying in warm blankets in an cold room. Bonus points for snow outside.

A fresh Buzz cut

Talking to @bardingbeedle​

Having long, passionate rambles about the Marvel Ultimates

Hashbrowns, bacon, maple syrup, maybe a pancake, and a sausage too.

Tagged by the chaotic @s-hylor​

top 3 cities you want to visit: Toronto, again. Colorado (I know its a state not a city I just want to visit ashes AND GET SNOW). And I would like to go back to Italy again. (I also want to visit, just, all of my fandom friends but I don't want to drop all their locations lol)

favorite marvel character: Ults!Steve Rogers and then Ults!Tony Stark. Not counting stony, Anthony the brain tumor, and not counting clones, Gregory Stark.

white chocolate - yay or nay?: Love it, love it, love it.

favourite board game: God Save The Queens- A board game about Bees I invented with 3 other people at University last year for a project.

how many countries have you been to: 10, I have been very luckily graced with the ability to travel to Europe with school a lot.

(Wales, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, America [Florida, Boston, New York], Spain, Portugal, Italy, and finally Canada.)

favorite thing to do on a rainy day: Anything indoors I might usually feel guilty about doing when its sunny. Tv or games particularly

favorite holiday: Christmas. I am a Christmas slut, call me festive sapling I LOVE Christmas.

pen or pencil: Pen. I once bought 7 in lisbon at the same time bc they were perfect and I didn't want to run out.

favourite kind of soup: Cupasoup Chicken noodle, I don't really like soups tbh, I like broths, and gravy type things I make too much of and eat like a soup (like golden Currys or korma sauces)

your typical order at a cafe or coffee shop: Caramel Frappucino or an iced Mocha. If I'm gonna pay a fuck tonne for coffee I'm gonna get a drinkable dessert.

favorite ride at an amusement park: Any slow rides that show you shit, like spaceship earth at EPCOT. I’m not really a speed dude.

the color of your sneakers: RED, red shoes are the shit folks, a good pair of red converse goes with everything.

favorite pbs show (or little kids show if you didn’t have pbs):  Uh I used to watch pokemon then winnie the pooh every single night. But little little kids show I used to watch a show called 64 zoo lane with my grandma so I have fond memories

Rules: name your favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people.

Tagged by the wonderful @ashes0909​

Natasha Romanov - Marvel Cinematic Universe

Carol Danvers - Marvel 616

Janet Van Dyne - Marvel Ultimates

Izumi Curtis - Full Metal Alchemist

Martha Jones - Doctor Who

Garnet - Steven Universe (if she doesn't count bc, space rock, Connie)

Rosa Diaz - Brooklyn 99

Ann Perkins  - Parks and Rec

Princess Caroline - Bojack Horseman

Pam Poovey - Archer

LOOK I know there was a lot of cheating here, but I don't have non marvel fandoms really, and I have a hard time remembering a lot of the TV I enjoyed.

Rules: Share your top 10 AO3 additional tags. Tagged by the mysterious @nigmuff​

look I don't know if I have enough tags to make this a justified representation, but the ones shown are v much on brand.

Fanfic trope meme

I was tagged by the delightful @capnstars​ and @crownofstardustandbone​

slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or !!!secret dating!!! // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut AND fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it  // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or !!!!middle-aged romance!!! // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates  // sci-fi or magic au // body swap or genderbend  // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Look guys, I’m boring. I like domestic 30-40 year olds in secret relationships. We knew this.

And now buckle the fuck down folks because I'm about to answer 50 questions about me no one is gonna stick around and read.

tagged by @bardingbeedle​ the only person who would put up with reading this much about me.

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I have a buzz cut, I don't have a hair brush anymore.

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Too warm. I have been warmer than most people my whole life, and I often need to sleep with a fan on.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Working on a sketch for an MTH fill (update from the end of this: I have spent an hour doing this fuckin thing)

What is your favourite candy bar?

Bounty. My favourite candy is Reese’s Pieces but I like a bounty. Or like, and chocolate without fruit in it tbh.

Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, one of my parents referees Championship Football here in the UK. I have been to a few of his games. I also went to the London 2012 Paralympic closing ceremony, if that counts.

What is the last thing you said out loud?

‘Oh, this will last me a few days’ I was talking to my mother about 1/2 a can of pringles, I was lying.

What is your favourite ice cream?

Vanilla. I am boring. But the best ice cream i’ve had was a cream/milk flavoured gelato in Florence, that shit slapped. I also like cheap strawberry ice cream when no one is trying to put strawberry bits in it.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Dinner. A spinach, banana, summer fruits and coconut yoghurt smoothie (with extra raspberries). Its my nightly dinner to cheat more veg into my body.

Do you like your wallet?

Very much. It’s about 7-8 years old, it is faded to hell but it has spiderman and a pony ride stony pin

What was the last thing you ate?

See above smoothie comment, but if that doesn't count, a sugar free mint polo.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Nope. I don't buy as many clothes as I want to, bc mens clothes in larger sizes are hard to find or expensive here.

The last sporting event you watched?

F1, I don't keep up but I watch a little with my dad every now and then.

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

BUTTER. They don't really have it here, and I don't go to movies much when in the states. But @festiveferret​ introduced me to it when we saw Ant-man and the Wasp, and much like poutine and Tim Hortons, I still crave it.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

My dad. 

Ever go camping?

Yes, I was a Scout. I have done enough camping to not want to do more, it was fun when I wasn't organising it.

Do you take vitamins?

Yes, but not as often as I should, and as much as my mother bothers me too.

Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope, not even when I considered myself christian. I go only go to church for other peoples events, and I’m an agnostic now.

Do you have a tan?

I cannot tan. I just can't, I burn lobster red in 5 minutes outside without literal sun cream for BABIES

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

Chinese food, It was easily what taught me to like more foods also, I don't eat tomato so I can't have most pizza. I love a good garlic base/bechamel, but you can't really get that here easily (yes yes I could make my own but that ruins half the point of pizza)

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't drink carbonated drinks, because its like drinking pain. The fuck is wrong with all of you.

What colour socks do you usually wear?

Various colours, but I consider red on the left, blue on the right, my lucky socks. No I don't know why, but I take all exams and interviews wearing them. It’s just a thing.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't drive, but if I did, No. Theres a lot of questionable laws out there but Traffic laws aren't one of them.

What terrifies you?

Pfft, most things from spiders to rollercoasters. But more seriously, Being shouted at. Shout at me and I start hyperventilating, its a thing. Also not knowing if someone is mad at me. I’m not good at reading people,

Look to your left, what do you see?

The wallet shown earlier, and the sugar free polos mentioned after that.

What chore do you hate?

Vacuuming. It makes everything in my body hurt. I would rather clean toilets.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

@s-hylor​

What’s your favourite soda?

See above. I do not like your pain liquid. Apple juice for life.

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

Either delivery or kiosk, I don't like talking to people where possible, I often need tweaks I don't want to have to remember to repeat.

Who’s the last person you talked to?

@downeyhills​

Favourite cut of beef?

I don't generally eat beef, lamb, or most red meats. I love crispy chilly beef, but as anyone can point out its bc your generally don't feel the texture of the beef.

Last song you listened to?

Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears | Pomplamoose

I’m on a Pomplamoose kick, and I also just love this song anyway.

Last book you read?

Understanding Comics (The invisible Art) - Scott McCloud

Favourite day of the week?

Friday nights. The weekend is ahead and @loraneldin​ and I take to wrangling our beloved usual suspects through another week of Ults Book Club.

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can barely say it forwards.

How do you like your coffee?

With milk and sugar, or ultimately, in a Caramel Frappuccino bc I'm a bitch like that.

Favourite pair of shoes?

I have walking boots that don't make my flat ass feet feel like they’re dying. OR my black and green crocs (Fight me, they’re useful).

The time you normally go to sleep?

9-10 is what I'm working on, but I fluctuate depending on if I'm working on something or not.

The time you normally get up?

5-6 If I have a choice in the matter, but often 7-8 if I didn't get to bed at the right time. I’m more about getting the right hours in for my diet than time specifically.

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunset is the prettiest, but I like to be awake to see the sun rise.

How many blankets on your bed?

One big thick comforter, because that's the uk standard, and I get too hot otherwise.

Describe your kitchen plates

Two types, big wide white ones with a navy blue rim. They are so large I never use them, and little Navy saucer plates I use a lot.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don't drink, so no. I drink apple juice or Shirley temples when I'm in pubs/bars

Do you play cards?

Sometimes, I like to teach people to play Old Maid. It’s the monopoly of card games.

What colour is your car?

Again, I do not drive. 

Can you change a tire?

I am aware I just said I don't have a car, but I do know how to change a tire. Everyone should go learn its pretty simple.

Favourite job you’ve ever had?

I have only had one job really and two job experience jobs. I did experience in a school library for a week and that was v fun and chill. I did all the jobs they had prepared for me in 2 days so I alphabetically reorganised their fiction section for the rest of the week. I LIKE ORDERING.

How did you get your biggest scar?

I no longer have a gallbladder, so I have 3 scars across my torso from that, the biggest right in the middle of my ribs. Non surgical wise I have matching scars on my knees from ripping holes in them when tripping. I have weak ankles and also I got both of those at different times.

What did you do today that made someone else happy?

I gave my spare animal crossing Iguanodon skull to a wicked artist I follow on twitter so he could complete his dino park. 

Sucker - Ben Hardy x Reader

Synopsis: Your best friend, Ben Hardy, was cast as Roger Taylor, the drummer from Queen in one of the most anticipated movies of the year. You were always a sucker for drummers, and turns out, you always will be.

Word Count: 5.6k

A/N: hi soz about this pos - i haven't proof read this bc im lazy af, sorry about this mess i haven't written ffs or one shots in literal y e a r s

i hope u enjoy i guess AHA

Your Uber rolls up the driveway to the set where they were filming ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, the film your best friend was in. You thank the man who drove you, slid out of the backseat of the car and closed the door firmly to ensure it sealed. You walk up the drive way, large buildings fielding your view. You mention your name to the guard, hoping Ben remembered to put you on the list of visitors.

She handed you the badge with a big smile. “Enjoy your time here!”

You thank her, “Where do you go for the Bohemian Rhapsody set?”

“You turn left at the end of the street and then keep going. You’ll definitely see the sign, someone else will be able to help you there.” She points and clasps her hands together.

“Thank you again!”

You take her directions, following to the end of the street then turning left. She was right, the large sign in front of your eyes showed the four boys, with Rami Malek starring as Freddie looking towards the camera. You gaze at the photo for a few seconds, finding yourself staring at Ben. You smile as you recall the memory of finding out Ben got the part as Roger Taylor in the biopic.

*

He was fidgeting, something he only did when he was nervous.

“Ben, what’s up? Why are you shaking your leg so much?” You joke, hitting his leg with your foot. He looked up at you and smiled timidly.

“I find out whether I have a job for the next few months.” You looked at him in shock. Since when did he go for an audition? “I went when you were out with your mum for the day, you know, the spa day you so desperately needed - to help you de-stress from work?” You blush, not meaning to say those words out loud. “Why else do I have a drum kit in my living room?” He points to the obviously placed drum kit in the corner of the large living room.

“I just thought you were getting lessons.” You pout, crossing your arms with a small smile.

“I was, I was getting lessons so many times during the week, multiple times a day, hours at a time. They asked me if I could play drums, and I said ‘yes’, you know, like a liar. Since when did you not notice me being out almost every day for the past few weeks?” Ben chuckles, pulling your legs on top of his lap, rubbing your ankles. You smile slightly at the comment, but then you remembered why you didn’t notice as much as to where he goes.

“Since your ex-girlfriend told me that I don’t need to know your whereabouts every second of every day, since that was ‘her job’ to worry where you were all the damn time, as if she didn’t trust that you were out with friends and not another girl,” Emphasising the last few words while grumbling, you try to pull your legs off of his lap, he shakes his head and pulls them back. “Sorry that I care about my friends?” You exclaim sarcastically. Ben laughs and rubs your ankles again. “Plus! I thought you were out with friends all the time or helping your family.”

“It’s fine now, she’s out of my life and you’re the only girl I care about at the moment, well, except my mum-.” He gets cut off by the sound of his phone ringing, loud and clear.

He pushes your legs off from him and stands up with lightning speed, causing you to scoff with a smile.

“That’s gotta be my agent, I’ll be back!” He runs off into the kitchen with his phone. You give him a small salute, whispering to yourself ‘yes sir’. You stand up and walk over to the drum kit, seeing many drumsticks in the holder, the broken ones in the bin – probably from hitting the drums too hard or from frustration. You giggle at the thought of him throwing a drumstick in frustration, then feeling bad for throwing it and walking to pick it back up. That’s just the kind of person he is, honestly. You pictured him playing the drums, getting flushed at the idea of him slamming the sticks against the drums with desperation and vigour.

“Are you serious?” You heard Ben yell. You zip around to see him standing at the doorway to the living room with a gigantic smile on his face. “Thank you very much! I’ll see you next week!” He concludes and ends the phone call. He throws his phone to the couch and raises his hands, in accomplishment. “I got the role! I get to play Roger Taylor in the new Queen biopic!”

“You’re playing Roger Taylor?!” You scream with him, running to throw yourself into his arms, he wraps himself around you, placing a kiss on your head. You can feel his heart racing and he’s shaking. He didn’t think to mention he was playing one of the band members in your favourite band? Idiot, he is, isn’t he? He knew you loved drummers.

“Fuck yeah I am, I thought I botched the second audition! I’m so fucking excited!”

*

You saw many people running around with props and papers, people hanging onto their phones for dear life as they run from building to building. You walk slowly up to one of the entrances of the many buildings surrounding you. You look behind you, admiring how chaotic this whole scene looked but before you know it, you’re bumping into a tall man with bouncing curly hair, causing him to drop his pages on the floor.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry!” You apologise, picking up the booklet before he could even register what just happened. You glance at the booklet, seeing a name and the words ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ written in large letters. “Here’s your script.” He smiles and takes the script off of you.

“Thank you for that, sorry for bumping into you.”

“No, it was so my fault! I wasn’t looking where I was walking!” You claimed, feeling heat rise up your neck from the embarrassment. “I’m just trying to find my friend, Ben Jones? Or Hardy? Whichever one he goes by now, I guess.” You scratch your neck slightly and look up at him. He has a look of surprise on his face.

“Oh! You must be Y/N L/N, right?” You nod suspiciously. “Ben’s told us so much about you! I’m Gwilym! I play Brian May,” he gestures towards the abundance of hair on his head.

“Wow! I didn’t recognise you with the hair, oh my goodness, you really do look like Brian May when he was younger,” You ponder, he smiles and gives you a nod. “Ben’s told me about you guys on the phone!”

“Here, let me take you to Ben, I’m sure we can find where he is.” He takes your hand and pulls you into the area where they were filming. You saw the cameras, the lights and the crowds of people wearing clothes you only wished would suit you. You smile as you see Ben sitting with a man with curly hair, who you assumed to be Joe and Rami. Gwilym saw them also, yelling out to them.

“Oi, Ben, your girly friend is here!”

“What?” Ben looks up from his phone, almost sprinting out of his seat as soon as he sees you. “Y/N! I can’t believe you made it!” He hugs you tightly with a grin on his face. “You didn’t say you were visiting today?”

“I did say I would visit you some time,” You choke as he squishes the air out of your lungs. He had to move into a hotel room in the city to shoot this movie. You hadn’t seen him in 6 weeks, you’d begun to miss your best friend. It didn’t bother you as much at first, you took care of Frankie at your place, it was like a little piece of Ben was still with you, but in the form of an adorable dog. But as the time went on, you felt a little lonely without him there to bag the shit out of you.

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you could get off from work, I thought your boss wanted you to stay for longer hours.” He furrows his eyebrow.

“Well, I may or may not have chucked a sickie and need to go to the doctors after seeing you, because I had a massive migraine and couldn’t go into work today?” You smiled cheekily, he shook his head with a smirk.

“Only you would do that, L/N,” He put his hand on your shoulder, caressing it lightly, a soft smile played on his lips.

“Uh, Ben, are you going to introduce me to your little friend?” Joe walked up to you, curly hair bouncing as he walked. “I thought I was the only person in your life,” he adds dramatically.

“Joe, Rami, Gwilym, this is my best friend since we were in Primary School, Y/N,” Ben announces proudly.

You smile and give a small wave. “Hi guys,” you squeak nervously. Joe smiles and gives you a hug.

“Don’t you try to steal my Benny Boy away from me!” He laughs, pulls off from hugging you to hug Ben from the side. Ben stands there with a smile.

“He’s just joking, aren’t you, Joe?”

“Oh, yeah totally!” He fakes, when Ben looks away, he glares jokingly at you with a shake of his head. You giggle slightly and nod your head with a thumbs up. Ben looks at Joe, who acts like nothing happened. Ben pushes Joe’s head away with a laugh.

Rami walks up to you, his full Freddie gear on, even the teeth look amazing.

“Hello darling, how are you?”

“I’m great now! I’ve been stressed at work, but nothing like a day off to see my best friend at work!” He smiles at you, hearing his name yelled by the director and bids you a farewell. Gwilym and Joe follow suit after the director called them too. You smile awkwardly as you point at Ben’s hair.

“What’s with all this! It looks great on you!” you play with a few strands of the wig.

“Should I grow my hair out? Would it look this good?” he poses a little, flashing a blue steel, making you cackle out of pure happiness.

“Definitely not, the makeup and costume department are amazing here, oh my gosh! They’ve really made you into Roger, huh?” You point at the vest that shows his open and toned chest. How did you not notice this before?

“You think so? Well, Roger almost did a double take as soon as he saw me dressed as him from the 70’s.” Ben chuckles as you stare at him with your mouth wide open. “Hey, Y/N/N, you’re gonna catch flies if you keep your mouth like that.” He goes to close your mouth, you slap his arm.

“Roger fucking Taylor is here?” You whisper, trying not to draw attention to yourself.

“Yes, he is, as well as Brian May. They’re consultants for the movie,” He points out, rubbing his arm. “You really didn’t do much research, did you?” Ben chuckles and pushes you slightly.

“I’d like to surprise myself when the movie comes out,” You look down, but catching yourself staring at Ben’s chest. “And if I cry, you can’t judge me.”

“Ben! Stop talking to your little girlfriend and come back on set!” The director yells with a smile, causing Ben to look back and nod towards him.

“I gotta go back on set, you can just sit back and watch, I guess,” He smiles and runs back to the drum kit that’s at the back of the set. You see Gwil and Joe laughing to each other – looking in your direction. They grin at you and wave, you wave back meekly. Taking a few steps around the wires and poles, you get a better view of the stage.

You smile as you see Joe dressed as Deaky, Gwil as Brian and Rami as Freddie. They really did cast people who looked like the members in the 70’s, you feel as if you want to thank the casting directors for that sole reason. Your eyes fall back on Ben as Roger, you’ve got to admit, Ben’s hot as himself, but extremely hot as Roger too.

You shake your head as you hear the music in the background. ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ – a song you loved, it made you feel good about your body – which you didn’t feel great about in the first place, a song you can dance around in just a shirt and underwear with socks on your feet in the kitchen while cooking dinner by yourself.

You hear them stop and start the song many times, getting different takes from different angles. You switch your gaze from the camera, to the director and finally landing on the boys. Ben’s slamming the drums, looking into the makeshift crowd, singing occasionally. Your breathing stopped, struggling to swallow the saliva that seemed to pool in your mouth.

Ben caught your eye, winking at you and continuing to play the drums with all his might. He looked great, amazing, perfect – sexy even. You blushed and walked away from set, wiggling your body to the sound of the music in the background. You walked outside to get some fresh air. You fanned yourself as you nodded towards the workers who were looking at you with strange stares.

After about five minutes, you went back to the set and see Ben’s eyes light up as soon as you are in his peripheral vision. He gives one final hit to the cymbal, finishing off the song and getting up in a stance where his arm is raised with his drumsticks in his hand, a legendary grin on his face. His vest lifts and shows more of his torso, you look down stop yourself from looking at him, playing with the hem of your shirt.

“Cut! Alright everybody, well done, you get an hour and a half break, use it wisely!” The director yells to the cast, pulling off the headphones, speaking to what appears to be his personal assistant. The boys walk up to you, with a girl by Rami’s side, you assume she’s Lucy.

“How was my drumming, Hun?” Ben mutters cheekily.

“It was great! Honestly, I am such a sucker for drummers.” You say with a flirty smile. He cackles and hits your shoulder with his.

“Would you like to get lunch with us?”

“Sure, why not?”

Sitting down next to Ben and Joe, Ben pulls his phone out and furrows his eyebrow. “Joe, are you fucking kidding me?” He laughs. Rami looks up from his phone, Lucy and Gwil stop talking to each other to listen.

“What happened?”

“I did nothing!” Joe exclaims.

“You took a photo of Y/N and I and posted it to your Instagram stories, you dickhead,” Ben tries to hold in his laughter as he shows you the photo. You and Ben are looking at each other, smiling and arms linked together. It says, “she took my ben away, luckily I have a ben at home :)” You cackle and put your hand over your mouth after hearing the noise come from your mouth. Embarrassed, you cover your face and let out a muffled scream.

“What the hell, Joe?” You say in between giggles and gasps.

“Hey, you two looked cute, I wanted to capture it and put it out into the world!”

“We ain’t cute, I ain’t cute,” You say, with a ‘matter of fact’ tone.

“Do you want to fight me on this, because I will,” Lucy comments, “You are freaking cute, oh my goodness! Your boyfriend must fall at your knees!”

“Oh no, I’m actually very single, and have been for a very long time.”

“For how long?” Lucy asks, genuinely curious. You look at Ben with an eyebrow raised.

“Ben, how old am I?”

“Oh, shut up, you have had many dates!”

“But I seem to scare them all off! It’s like as soon as I kind of like them, and they seem to be even slightly interested in me, they run off as soon as they meet my friends!” Ben smirks at this comment, chuckling to himself. You eye him suspiciously, “Do you have anything to do with me being single this very moment? Because when my last date met you, I went to the bathroom and he was gone when I came out!”

“I do nothing to them, I just tell them what’ll happen if they break your heart! They seem to get the point and leave,” Ben smirks, leaning back in his seat and puts his arm around your chair. You turn to him and hit his stomach. You look a little sad, Gwilym sees this and changes the subject to something that is supposed to happen on set. You keep eating, giving Gwilym a small nod to thank him. Joe pokes you slightly, you turn to him. You felt Ben move his hand to your shoulder and squeezed slightly, you put your hand on his.

“You okay? I can delete the story if you want,” he murmurs, I shake my head and give him a smile.

“No need, it’s already out there in the world, may as well deal with the consequences tomorrow.”

You’d quickly excused yourself from the set at about 7pm to get that medical certificate you needed for work, the doctor had told you to take off today and tomorrow and see how you feel after that. You’d made it back to the set before they all started to pack up and leave for the day, it was 10pm. Were you gone for that long?

Ben saw you once again and pulled you to his trailer, his wig was gone, and his costume had changed into something that was a deemed ‘appropriate’ for this century. You’d never say this out loud, but you missed the long mop of hair on his head, it did him wonders.

“You can come back to my hotel with me if you’d like, the guys and Lucy are coming back, we’re going to have a couple of drinks,” he tells me as he pulls his leather jacket over the maroon jumper he’s wearing. He grabs his bag and heads to the door, you following shortly after him.

“Uh, I guess? I mean, the doctor gave me off tomorrow as well,” You mumble as you pull your phone out to text your boss. “Where would I sleep though?”

“With me in my bed, of course, I wouldn’t invite you to sleep at my hotel to make you sleep on couch, Love,” He pulls you close and hugs you tightly, “I’m not that much of an asshole.” He smirks and kisses your forehead.

“Ben! Are we going back to your hotel? Or might we leave you with your lady friend?” Joe yells from the other side of the road, closing and locking his trailer. He laughs loudly seeing your very clear confused expression.

“Fuck off,” He laughs, “Yeah mate, I’ll meet you there!” Ben looks back to you, with a quirked eyebrow. “You ready?”

“Yeah, I think all my stuff is in here,” Quickly checking your handbag you nodded, your phone, a portable charger and your purse were all there, as well as the unnecessary pads, tampons, makeup wipes and Panadol, you can’t be too careful, can you? He nods back at you and puts his arm around you as you two walk to the car park, kissing your hair. You instantly lean into him, and you would say to him that it’s for warmth, but any excuse to get close to Ben.

You arrive at Ben’s hotel, becoming increasingly tired, just wanting to crawl up into a ball. You yawn, three times in a row, tears welling up in your eyes. You try to blink them away while sniffling. Ben looks at you with concern on your face.

“What’s wrong?” He grabs your shoulders, looking down at you with his eyebrows furrowed. He pushes your hair behind your ear, leaving his hand there.

“Oh! Nothing, I’m just really tired and when I yawn, I cry,” You laugh as the others burst through the door. Joe instantly turns to you, noticing the redness in your eyes.

“Ben! What did you do to this wonderful woman?”

“Nothing, she’s just tired,” he turns back to you, “Do you want to go to bed? We’ll try our best to be quiet.”

“No, no, it’s fine, I’ll have a few drinks and then go to bed. I’ll be fine...” You trail off, yawning once more.

“You’re going to bed and that’s final,” Ben says, turning to the group. “I’ll put her to bed, you guys get started without me.” Ben drags you to the hotel bedroom, which was down the hall from the lounging area and kitchen. He didn’t bother turning on the light, the lights from the windows were enough to see the general whereabouts of everything. He bends down to his suitcase and throws you a pair of tracksuit pants and a tank top. “Change into that, it’s comfier than what you’re wearing, Sweetheart.” He points at your outfit - leggings, a black spaghetti strap top with a forest green woollen cardigan and boots.

You blush a little at the endearment, “What are you on about? Leggings are so comfy, I can’t wear any other pants out.”

“I’d rather you not wear those to bed, you deserve to change into something fresh.”

He stands in the room still, not seeming to want to leave. You stare at him with an awkward smile. “Does that mean you’re gonna leave, or…”

“Oh yeah, sorry, I’ll be outside the door, just yell out when you’re done, Love.” You quickly change into the clothes he gave you, whipping off your shirt, taking off your bra and placing it on the floor next to the bed. The pants he gave you were a tight fit, so you just took them off and placed them back into the suitcase.

You pulled the shirt down to cover yourself, being only in his shirt and underwear, you sat cross-legged on the bed, the blanket covering your legs. You call out his name, thinking for a second that he went to his friends, but when he opened the door, you smiled. He looked down at his suitcase and saw the pants tucked back in there. He looks at you - frowning.

“They were kind of tight on me, so I didn’t wear them… You were always thinner than me, Hun,” You smile.

“So, what have you got on?”

You are glad it’s dark in his room, otherwise he would see the large blush creep onto your cheeks and over your neck. “I’m just wearing my leggings,” you lie. You never even liked to wear long pants when sleeping, even he should know that by now. “Thank you for this Ben, I’ve missed you a lot.” You smile, a yawn slowing your speech.

“I’ve missed you so much as well, Love, I’m glad we got to see each other.” He walks over to you and sits on the bed. He kisses your forehead, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, staring intensely into your eyes. You can’t help but notice when his eyes flicker to your lips and back to your eyes that you do the seem to do the same, a light pink shading your cheeks as you notice his breathing become faster.

You tried your best to not kiss him and apparently your body heard your pleas, so to ruin the moment, you let out a huge yawn, causing you both to break contact. He lets out a nervous chuckle. “You should be going to bed, darling, you’re very tired.” He pats your cheek and stands up from the spot on the bed he was in. You nod, eyes fluttering shut as you’re still sitting up. “Love - lie down before you fall asleep,” he laughs.

“Oh yeah, that would probably help,” your head crashes down onto the pillow, almost instantly putting you to sleep. You hear keys jangle and a ripping sound, then feeling a wipe over your face. “Thanks for taking off my makeup. I’m surprised you knew they were there,” You mutter sleepily at him, he smiles down at you. Your eyes close once again while you hear a faint “I love you” come from the door, but you’re too tired to answer back.

You wake up at 3am when you roll over to the other side of the bed. Ben hadn’t occupied the other side. Your hair was all over the place and sweat covered your face and body, the blanket thrown off to the end of the bed.

You stand up, walking out of the bedroom of the hotel. Not hearing any sound come from the lounging area, you tip toe out to see Ben on his phone, watching the T.V with no noise, but with subtitles. He really did try to keep the noise minimal as possible. He must’ve sensed someone was there and whipped his head around to see you standing there, one of your hands rubbing your eyes. He let out a small chuckle at the sight of you.

“Hey there, sleeping beauty, how’d you sleep?”

You fought off saying ‘great until I felt you weren’t there when I woke up’, instead saying “It was okay, why aren’t you asleep yet?”

“Eh, I haven’t felt the need to go to bed yet,” he stretched, turning off the T.V. “Now I do though,” He stands up and looks at your legs. “You were wearing leggings, my ass,” a sarcastic tone runs through his voice. You look down and shrug.

“It got really hot in the room, I took them off at one point.” You lie again, you’d bombed as soon as you got the chance, “where is everyone? I thought you guys would’ve woken me up at some point.”

“We had a few drinks, congratulated each other on a great job on set, but everyone got tired after their 3rd or 4th drink, so they all went home. I didn’t drink though, didn’t feel the need to.”

“Oh, okay,” you mumble. Ben walks up to you, towering over you, you crane your neck to look at him. “I want to go back to bed, you coming?”

“Right behind you, Love.”

You two walk back to the bedroom, you instantly crashing onto the bed and curling up, Ben chuckles as he sees you spoon the blanket, cuddling yourself into it. Ben strips to his boxers and throws them in a direction he’ll probably regret in the morning.

He gets into the other side of the bed, almost hesitantly. He looks at the way you’re situated on the bed, admiring how you can fall asleep almost instantly, anywhere. He turns to face the way you’re facing, his arms crossing against his chest as he sees your chest rise and fall.

You stir a little bit, turning yourself over so you’re facing Ben. You open your eyes and see him staring at you, smiling as you admire the way he’s looking at you. Almost as if he’s looking at you with love and adoration in his eyes. He doesn’t seem phased with you seeing him stare at you, as if he wants you to know.

You don’t notice, but he scoots closer to you, resting his hand on your cheek. His eyes flicker to your lips and eyes, back and forth constantly. He opens his mouth and lets out a desperate sigh. “Just tell me to stop if you don’t want this,” he whispers, but you don’t.

You let his lips fall onto yours, gently and lovingly. You instantly move your lips against his, placing your legs between his as they twine together. He caresses your cheek, moving deeper and deeper into the kiss. You pull away to catch your breath, “Why’d you do that?” You ask with confusion.

“Did I completely misread the situation?” He breathes.

“I didn’t realise there was a situation to begin with, Hun,” you place your hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating faster. He chuckles slightly, placing his hand on your waist. The movement caused you to let out a jagged breath, you swallowed thickly. You look up at him with pleading eyes, “Kiss me again?”

He didn’t answer, he immediately placed his lips in between yours, sighing in delight. He pulls your waist closer to his, you throw your leg over to the other side of his, climbing onto his lap – straddling him. The movement caused you both to deepen the kiss – the kiss that made you dizzy, that made your legs weak, made your head fuzzy. What was happening and why did you want to stay like this?

Both of his hands were placed on your waist, squeezing at times to comfort your trembling knees. One of your hands were grasping his hair, the other on his chest still – you pull slightly at his hair, causing him to let out a small moan. You smile into the kiss as you begin to pull away, his lips trying to chase yours to not end the fun you two were having. He lets out an annoyed huff as you press a chaste kiss to his lips.

“What are we doing?” You laugh, slightly out of breath.

“Well, I think it’s time I told you that I love you – more than a friend and I hope that you feel the same way.” He places his hands on your thighs, rubbing up and down in a comforting way.

“That was so nonchalant – I would have been shitting myself,” You gaze at him – seeing love in his eyes, something you yearned to see from his eyes.

“Oh, I am, but I’d prefer not to show it. Especially with a gorgeous lady on my lap.”

“Well, you might be delighted to know that I actually love you too – surprisingly,” you shrug and smile.

“Well, I’m glad.”

You both had fallen asleep cuddling into each other, feeling the breaths and heartbeats of each other. By the morning, your arm was slung over his body, your leg perched into his and head on his chest – his arm under your neck and his head leaning on yours. The blinds were kept open –the natural sunlight waking the two of you up. He smiled down at you seeing you stare at his chest, your fingers tracing circles around his abs.

“Good morning, Love,” He gives you a kiss on the forehead, another on your nose and a peck on your lips. “I still have to go onto set, you want to come again?” You nod, too sleepy still to talk. He got up and before closing the door to the bedroom, he looked back to you, “I’ll let you wake up a little, I know how cranky you are in the morning – if you want a shower, just let me know. We’ll leave in an hour,” he closes the door.

You let out a small squeal as you remembered that Ben fucking Jones loves you back. You had believed the love was one sided, unrequited, unwanted. You smiled as you realise that wasn’t the case. You stood up and quickly got changed, keeping the shirt Ben gave you on. You’d thrown your hair into a messy ponytail as Ben walked in the door again, wet hair, beads of water dripping down his chest and a towel hanging low on his hips.

“I forgot my clothes - did you want a shower?” He asked, looking to you for an answer.

You’d forgotten how to talk – looking at Ben’s body, “Uh…” was all you muttered, as if you were real life buffering. You’d somehow snapped out of it, looking at him with a cherry shaded blush on your cheeks and ears. “Sorry, uh, I don’t shower in the morning, I shower at night, so I’m okay, thanks. I will need to borrow deodorant though.” You smile cheesily, “I really am a sucker for you, huh?”

“I thought it was only drummers?” A smug smile slips onto his lips.

“Oh, no, it was always you, Sweetheart,” You giggle, he walks over to you giving you quick kiss, but you wrapped your hand into his wet hair, pulling him closer. He pulled away slightly with a slightly concerned look on his face, “Do I get to call you mine now?”

“You could’ve called me yours, long ago, Jones.”

You arrived at the movie set, your hand set in Ben’s, chuckling to yourselves. Joe had seen you two walk in, immediately rushing you away from Ben. “I know why Ben kept pushing away those dates you had with those guys!” He rushes out.

“Oh really, what is it?” You say – struggling to keep from laughing. You’d realised why he didn’t let you go out with those guys last night. Ben walks up to you and wraps his arm around your waist, Joe almost goes to say something to him until he sees Ben kiss your lips.

“I’ll see you in a bit, my love, I need to get into costume, come to the makeup department when you’ve finished talking to Joe,” he smirks, kissing you one last time before walking off. Joe is pointing half heartedly with his mouth wide open.

“Well, at least you two finally sorted your fucking shit out.”

It’s All Too much THxreader

idk where i was going with this. just had an idea in my head where the reader tried to watch Cherry but had to stop bc it was too much and Tom comforting her afterwards. its a mess but full of fluff. 

warnings: none, its all fluff, mentions of Cherry sex/drug use but no spoilers, its not bad i promise, no editing, bad writing, im sorry

word count: 1524 tagging; @starksparker @delicatetom @spooky-starks @heyhihellowhatsup0 @osterfield-holland-andcompany @worldoftom @peterplanet @hazshauntedbelle @hoforhaz @angelic-holland @angelhaz11

You never been more proud of Tom. Out of all the projects and movies he’s has done, this one, Cherry, is what you were most excited to see. It was nothing like he’s ever done before and you hyped to see him on screen.

“Ready, darling?” Tom asked as you double checked your reflection in the mirror to make sure your make up was perfect.

“Yep!” you replied with an extra kick.

Tom reached out for your hand, smiling. “You look beautiful, y/n. You’re not trying to upstage me at my own movie premiere are you?”

You shrugged playfully. “Eh, maybe.”

Tom laughed as you two left your apartment. Tom held you close, kissing your cheek in which you scolded. “Tom! I don’t want you messing up my makeup!”

“Sorry, love, I couldn’t resist.”

You rolled your eyes. “My face is off limits till we get home.”

Your boyfriend pouted. “But y/n-”

“No buts.”

“Least lemme kiss your lips, darling?”

You shook your head. “Lipstick.”

He sighed. “Fine…”

The both of you got into the limo that would take you to the premiere. Tom was a little annoyed, you could tell. You took his hand and squeezed it. “Tom, don’t be mad. I just want to look perfect.”

Tom turned to face you. “I’m not mad, y/n.”

You gave him a dull look.

“Okay, maybe a little. But only because I wanna kiss my girlfriend and show her off and she won’t let me.”

You rolled your eyes again, smirking. “Okay, fine. A few pecks but that’s it.”

Tom smiled. “I knew you would cave.”

The driver stopped in front of the premiere. You smiled, your eyes dazzling at all the celeb guests, paps and fans. 

“You alright y/n?” Tom asked, squeezing your hand. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Excited actually.”

Tom smiled. “Then let’s go.” Tom opened the door and you were both greeted with loud screams and flashing cameras and handshakes from people you didn’t really know. But Tom was the main guy of the project so you understood. He held you close to him, knowing this was new to you. You only been to one other premiere so he wanted to make sure you were comfortable.

It was all a blur. What you remembered most was Tom. His closeness, the pecks he gave you on your pink lips, the squeeze of his hands. You thought you were okay but it was becoming too much and you guessed Tom sensed that and he quickly led you inside ahead of everyone else. “You okay?” he asked.

You blinked, trying to focus. “Y-yeah. Just was a little overwhelming there towards the end but I’m okay.”

“You need a minute?” he asked.

You nodded. Tom took you in his arms, careful not to mess your hair or makeup. He kissed the top of your head, gently stroking your arm. 

More people were coming inside and you pulled apart. “Guess the movie is about to start huh?” you smiled.

Tom smiled back, squeezing your hand. “Let’s go. We have the best seat in the house.”

You sat right next to Tom, his arm around you protectively. He kissed the side of your head and your lips despite your scolding look. He just smiled and you giggled, not really being that annoyed. You curled up the best you could to him with the arm rest between you both. You knew what the movie was about but you didn’t read the book. You wanted to be surprised. 

The movie started and you looked over at Tom who was smiling. His name came on the screen and everyone clapped. You pecked his cheek. “I’m so proud of you, Tommy.” you said just so he could hear it.

He smiled down at you, eye crinkles and all. He leaned in to kiss you which you accepted graciously. You pulled away after a few moments, not wanting to miss any of the movie.

You knew what the movie was involved with. Drugs. Sex. But you had no idea what it was gonna be like on the big screen. A few scenes you had to tuck your face in Tom’s side, unable to watch. Less than an hour in the movie, it became too much and you had to leave. “Need to use the bathroom.” you whispered to Tom before quickly leaving the theater.

It was all too much. You tried to remind yourself it was just acting. It wasn’t real. But the drug use, the sex scenes. You couldn’t watch them anymore. You stepped outside for some fresh air, taking deep breaths. You then went back inside to the bathroom to freshen up.

“Y/n? You okay?” Tom’s voice was muffled from the door.

“I’m okay. Just uh had to take a break.”

“Anyone else in there?”

“No.”

He stepped inside, frowning. “What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing. Just...was a lot to watch is all.”

Tom stepped towards you, pulling you closer to him. “You know it’s just acting right?”

“I do, just...really good acting.”

“Love, we were just acting-”

“No it wasn’t the sex that bothered me as much. It was...the other stuff.”

“Oh…” Tom frowned. “I forgot you didn’t like that stuff...I thought you would be okay with it…”

“I thought so too. Guess I was wrong.” You shrugged.

“You want to leave? I understand if you do.” Tom said.

Your eyes were glassy. “I don’t want to...but…”

Tom nuzzled your noses together. God he smelled so good. The softness of his suit, the cologne. It calmed you down almost instantly.

“Let’s ditch them.” he said.

You gasped, staring at him. “What? No. You’ll get in trouble.”

He shrugged. “I’m Spider-Man. I can do what I want.”

You chuckled. “Okay. Let’s go.” You both giggled as you rushed out of the building. You felt like rebellious teenagers. 

You two stopped at a nearby diner, getting hungry. You first sat across from Tom, reading the menu. He hid his face then peaked above the top, winking. You giggled, sticking your tongue at him. He made a goofy face and you laughed. 

You forgot all about your unsettledness from Cherry. All that mattered now was you and Tom. Once you ordered, Tom took your hand from across the table. But it wasn’t enough. “Scoot over.” you said.

He did and you switched sides, snuggling right up to his side, sighing happily. “No arm rest in the way this time.” you smiled.

Tom kissed you. The waitress served you your milkshake and smiled. “You two are adorable.” the young woman spoke.

“Thank you.” Tom said.

“Hey, you’re that spidey guy right?” she asked.

He chuckled. “I am.”

“My son is a big fan. He wears his spidey onsie almost every night. Least when I’m not washing it.”

Tom laughed. “Would you like an autograph or something?”

“Oh, no I couldn’t. That’s too much.”

“I don’t mind.” Tom said. “Okay, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Tom signed something for her and she smiled. “Thank you so much, Mr. Holland. I’ll get your order. Be right back.”

You smiled up at Tom. “You’re the sweetest guy ever you know that?”

“Who me? I had no idea.”

“Don’t get cocky.” you said.

Tom laughed.

The waitress returned with your food and you both shared a milkshake. Tom dipped a french frie in the shake and you grimace. “Ew.” you gagged.

“It’s amazing, try it.”

“No thanks.”

It was completely dark out by the time you were done. You two waited till almost closing time to chat with the kind waitress. Tom gave her a good tip and she nearly cried. You smiled and offered to take a pic of them.

You said goodbye, promising to come back. Tom took your hand, smiling. “I love you, you know that right?”

“Really? I had no idea.” you replied.

You both walked in the night, still warm. You found a bridge nearby and you rested on the edge, enjoying the peace and quiet, only hearing cicadas and a few cars nearby.

Fireflies faded in the forest nearby and reflecting on the water. You sighed happily, Tom right by your side. 

“You’re probably gonna get in trouble for ditching the premiere.” you said.

“I don’t care.” Tom nuzzled into your soft curly hair. “You’re all that matters to me right now.”

You blushed, feeling your body heat up from his kind words.

Tom tucked his finger under your chin. “I love you, y/n. So much.”

“I love you, too, Tommy.”

He leaned in and kissed you, making you feel like you were floating in the clouds. The kiss deepened and you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling at his curls. It was a kiss that topped all kisses. Memories of every kiss you and Tom shared didn’t beat this one. Not your first kiss. Or the ones you shared when making love. This one was different. You couldn’t explain it. It tied you two together like no other kiss has before. Tom was here to stay and you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

 It wasn’t too much at all but instead, not enough. 

Its another tf2 oc and im not ashamed

Let me break it down to y’all how this happened, so basically- I wanted a mafia-esque spy character but then my brain decided ok mafia mans is coolio BUT WHAT IF... t e n t a s p y mafia boss man? And voila here this fucker is

Name: Alphonse Blanchard | Titles/Nicknames: The Spy, Boss which usually his "partners" call him that, or just call him Alphonse, only ONE person can call him AL, anyone else tries it and well it wont be a very pleasant experience | Gender: Male | Species/Race: Used to be a normal human, now he's a Tentaspy- a m o n s t e r. | Age: 49s/50s | Occupation: Even tho he's got the title of The Spy n such- he's p much teechnically a Mafia Boss- b i g boss man for sure- | Height: When he was human he was about 5'7", but now he's 8'9" (nearly 9ft) | Eye Color: His eye color when he was human was a Steel Gray color, his eyes are now a Charcoal color (mostly for their meanings n stuff), his pupils are also slit ones now. | Hair Color: (even though most of his face except for his eyes and mouth are covered by a balaclava and you'd most likely never see him without his mask on, his hair color is black with grey streaks in the sides of it, however for the record- his hair is VERY tidy and slicked back) | Appearance: Now, not much changes tbh- except... he cant wear pants bc of the tentacles on his lower half but I'll get to those in a minute, he wears v e r y fancy and HIGHLY expensive suits, only the f i n e s t of clothing for him, usually he wears dark gray or black suits but he does have other colors- their just ALL dark colors, he likes the appeal of black or gray colors- and he d e f i n i t e l y loves the meaning behind them, they fit him so well... He also wears fedoras, he has some rings (you know the ones- the ones that some mafia characters or just big shots in general tend to wear- yeaah, his biggest ring and the one he usually wears has a skull on it-), and he of course has a circle beard, oh and he has a lot of scars both on his upper human body and his tentacles even, just- gettin that outta the way right quick- now onto his more monstrous features... For starters, let's get the simple one out of the way, he DOES have claws now, long sharp black claws to be more specific- his tentacles are pitch black on top with Smoke Gray tiger-like stripes going down them his underbelly is also Smoke Gray color- and oh boy... here's the most complex thing- his teeth, while all his teeth are p much bear trap teeth, his lateral incisors both top and bottom are longer kinda like vampire teeth or something like that ya know, his actual canines both top and bottom ones along with his first AND second premolars (again both the top ones AND the bottom ones are actually curved (kinda like an anaconda's in a way- p much- just- hooked teeth, perfect for hooking onto prey and not letting go if need be) | Personality: Oh b o y well, where to even begin with this motherfucker? He's narcissistic as hell "I k n o w I'm handsome, yes~" and god forbid you compliment him or anything- bc with e v e r y compliment, every good thing said about him his ego inflates and grows tenfold, even if you say bad shit about him- he don't give a fuck- as long as it doesn't affect his reputation then you'll be fine! He'll just pay no mind to petty insults or anything, at first- insults calling him a monster n anything similar bothered him, it made him feel sick every time someone had used those insults but now? Now... While he would MUCH prefer to have legs again (its honestly just bc its easier to walk around with legs than tentacles), he e m b r a c e s the fact he's a monster, he knows there's no reversing this, if there was- he would... he wouldn't go OUT of his way for it BUT he would at the very least TRY  to get his hands on whatever could cure this, ahem anyways- he's come to terms with what he is even if some things about it aren't... ideal... I wouldn't say he's EVIL really, he's more so a neutral unless provoked/attacked- t h e n he'll "take care" of whatever or whoever's causing the problem with NO mercy whatsoever, but other than that he can be a reasonable man, just don't piss him off, steal from him, etc- basically don't make enemies with him and you should be just fine, he isn't one for small talk or anything like that, he wants to talk business, business and m o n e y even, even if he is a fucking HIGHLY rich bastard, he always wants more- he's got a BIT of a greed streak in him for sure (that doesn't mean however he won't let others borrow money, he just expects them to pay it back in the end or sometimes... he'll use his money for ahem, undercover classified reasons...) He'll flirt with a n y o n e if they happen to catch his eye, not just ladies either- men, ladies, no gender? What the fuck ever, if he wants- he's GONNA flirt with anyone, even if it might not end in love or whatever, he doesn't? really? He doesn't really care tbh, love is alright and if it happens it happens but honestly- he's just a fucking flirty b i t c h, who loves to see that flustered look and get a reaction from the other, you'll never truly know... feelings? Maybe but probably not... (tl;dr: Flirty bitch- I wouldnt hold hopes for feelings, greed streak but isn't afraid to let others borrow money so long as they pay it back in the end- some things he uses it for are classified- p much [REDACTED] info, neutral unless provoked/attacked, no mercy nor care towards enemies- can and WILL wipe out every single one of his enemies without a single t r a c e being left behind, even tho he's a monster now and has a LOT more strength than a normal human, he still tends to use guns or knives but isn't afraid to use his monstrous features if need be, narcissistic bastardery at its finest- compliment him and watch his ego inflate! "Don't you want r e a l friends Alphonse and not just henchmen or lackeys?" "....Non, not in the slightest, absolutely disgusting to even ASSUME I need friends, I, myself am my best company, better than any friend could e v e r do" w o w- b a s t a r d energy there huh) | Side Facts: ...Truth be told, he won't e v e r forget the day he turned into... this... this t h i n g... Even if he's accepted his fate, even if he's accepted to be this monster, the memory still lingers and haunts him and his very dreams, he has nightmares about it, and its mostly due to the agonizing pain he felt d u r i n g his little "transformation", it happened one day- he was in his own medic's lab (yes, the bitch has his o w n doctor), it was a normal routine health check up his medic liked to do- the man was always harping onto Alphonse for that pesky smoking habit of his, but then suddenly, one of the rival- well, t h e y call themselves family- Alphonse only considers the people he hired to be henchmen, lackeys, OR- just employees for basic terms, but one of his rivals broke in and decided to open fire and of course, it turned into an all out gun war, Alphonse DID get shot- which is what caused him to stumble backwards into a shelf full of god knows what, after he bumped it, a few jars of weird substances had fallen onto him, after that he could feel his body twisting and contorting, he remembers the a g o n i z i n g pain he felt that day, it was worse than that mere gunshot wound that he had... Aside from the horrifying memory of what fate had befell him... He also remembers what he d i d to his little rivals... He remembers the mortified and terror-stricken look on their faces, all of them had ran- except for... their boss... so much for "family sticks together" huh, he remembers slithering over towards the boss, who- well, he tried to fire from the looks of it, but he was so terrified that he had dropped his gun, Alphonse had never seen such terror on a grown man's face like that, but he loved e v e r y. s e c o n d. until the very end, he doesn't remember what came over him in the end, maybe it was blind fury, or maybe it was just instincts, but after he did what he did... He remembers seeing the boss's head ripped off completely along with other limbs ripped off and flung across the room. Unfortunately, his suit was v e r y messy after that- He actually still keeps the boss's head preserved- almost like a t r o p h y in fact... ....Oh, your probably wondering what happened to his doctor, right? ....Well, I'll say is he's still out there, he didn't get killed- neither by the rivals nor Alphonse's instincts/fury, but truth be told... He doesn't REALLY wanna come back, he wants to stay hidden- I will say, yes- he DID see Alphonse transform, but after that he fled- part of him figured deep down that Alphonse would be v e r y angry with him since h e was technically the one who had those jars just sitting around on the shelf and he did NOT wanna stick around if that man was c r o s s with him... now whether or not Alphonse will ever encounter/find him again? ... Who knows- h e h ASIDE from all the backstory of why he turned into a Tentaspy, let's move onto things Alphonse just- likes to do in his spare time when he's not talking business n all that jazz- He usually smokes some of his cigarettes or cigars, he loves the cigars more though- he'll also do some reading in his spare time as well, or he'll listen to some calming music- sometimes he'll do all three, smoke, read, and listen to some calming music- he's not... the most exciting man, he's just usually busy- so when he's not- he'll just do those things- He'll SOMETIMES go outside and get some fresh air, usually its at night- not necessarily just bc there's l e s s people to worry about- but usually because he enjoys looking up and seeing the moonlight when its out, such a beautiful sight...

PREFERRED NAME — nora. i think i started going by it in like, 2009?? my full name is eleanor but i hated it n thought it was way too pretentious n i never felt like it fitted me so when i started writing on forums i decided i’d be a nora rather than eleanor and then my school friends called me it and it just kinda stuck, the only person who calls me eleanor is my mum

PRONOUNS — she / her / ethereal being beyond comprehension

AGE — 23 but i tell everyone im 21 because even tho time is literally fake im desperately clinging to that fleeting thing we call youth trying to catch it like smoke in my hands

PINTEREST — i actually have two. this one is my main one where i just cram all my shit n i’ve had it for years and some of its super unorganised. then i also have this one which is one i made for exclusively female characters. it started as mythological figures but now its like, women in literature and the occasional oc as well. variety is the spice of life!

DISCORD — lindsay lohan’s meth#8664

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — i used to be froseths but now im pvrscphones cos ya gal is a fucking whore for mythology 

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — oi oi guvna ere’s me twitta. also here’s my letterboxd n my goodreads if anyone still uses tht

MYER-BRIGGS — enfp / infp border .... the classic profile of a lit student

HP HOUSE — hufflepuff, am fuckin mad. 

ZODIAC — libra which is a joke because i am in no way balanced but i guess i AM indecisive and a peacekeeper so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — i believe it when it says good shits gonna happen in my life and blame it if bad shit happens but i don’t strongly follow it i just find it interesting

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — maybe like 14?? my first rp blog here is literally so embarassing i wrote as clove from the hunger games n my best friend irl wrote cato :/ it was wild

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — like 9 years ago?? 2010 maybs

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — me n my friend ellie made this really cool group the summer before we left for uni which was loosely based on a concept mentioned mayb once in the divergent series, but it gave us loads of freedom to make it our own thing. it was called the fringe n it was like..... this dystopian society where people with different genes were cut off from the rest of society n lived in overrun slum cities where different groups had like, a monopoly over weapons, produce, etc.... my character jack was the leader of this lost-boy-esque tribe called the wolf pack who were hunters n used to run across the rooftops wearing the skins of animals they’d killed and engage in tribal rituals with sacrifices to the gods n shit. sounds lame but everyone there was so invested in their character arcs that it was a shame to see it go. but ! it kind of reached its end point so we blew it up w nukes n they all died. tragic.

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — a fox?? do ppl keep foxes? idk i’ve always just felt a sense of connection w them like when a fox stares at me im like this shit is life i am living and breathing in this bitch.... visceral

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — everbody party tonight by cobra man n summer girl by haim..... not my usual stuff but big summer chillin vibes,.....

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — lord of the flies and also the handmaid’s tale. one of assignments was to write a chapter from another character’s perspective n i chose moira

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — skellig. fuck off with ur asprin ugly bat man i don’t care. also of mice and men. don’t care about the rabbits or curley’s goddamn wife.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — im not a big binger bc i find it jst makes me depressed if i watch tv all day but im nearly finished stranger things season 3 n i recently finished euphoria (big rec but proceed w caution as quite triggering content)

FAVOURITE QUOTE — cool girl speech from gone girl. but also “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” i know its like.... such an overused quote but it really encapsulates this kind of feral girlhood that a few of my characters like bridget n greta have tapped into. i also loved the line “i feel like i could eat the world raw” from song of achilles, that really captures this kind of.... pure n childlike enthusiasm tht i wanna achieve w rory 

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this is my energy completely am always covered in glitter n staring broodily out of the windows of ubers at 4am like im in the sad bit of an indie film 

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — uhh.... not as much as i shd.... i want to be a writer so i shd be makin some effort to get my stuff Out Into The World but im just not.... lol. ive done a lot of poetry collections . i wnt to finish a novel @ some point too.

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — bold of you to assume i trust any youtubers

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — id literally die for saoirse ronan n timothee chalamet :/ chance perdomo also owns my ass. 

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i once high-fived dani harmer, the actress who played tracy beaker. today my sister text me tryin to make me guess what celebrity she just saw on holiday in wales and for ages she let me think it was timmothee but it was actually bradley walsh from the chase :/

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am in a bomb ass crop top and mini skirt, several scrunchies in my hair, glitter all over my face, wearing cowboy boots. we eat dinner in a trendy but affordable pub that doubles up as a cocktail bar n then we drink zombies or sex on the beaches n go to a rave where everyone is on the same wavelength n i share drugs with girls in the toilets and we swap numbers knowing we will never text each other but its ok bc in that moment we feel like we are soulmates and everyone is super drunk n touching everyone else n its all very visceral and we walk through the woods when the rave ends and lie in the grass because we wish to suck out all the marrow of life 

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was murdered 

ARE ALIENS REAL? — maybe the real aliens are the friends we made along the way

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — love island game im addicted and way too invested in my fictional relationship with bobby, a cartoon

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — bold of u to assume i remember my childhood. but if we’re talking last 10 years angust, thongs n perfect snogging is so so cringe 

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — pairs of glasses belonging to other ppl when they break / get new ones even though i can see perfectly well. 

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — mythology...... always a craving and a wish i’d read like ancient texts but my school wasn’t good enough to do greek or latin or any of that shit n even tho i could read english translations i cant be bothered. also criminal psychology

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, french and latin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — ladybird, about time, angus thongs, shrek 2, what we do in the shadows, the history boys, atonement, coraline, the breakfast club, ferris bueller’s day off

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — cecilia lisbon. rue in euphoria. alison brie in glow. adam parrish in the raven cycle. richard papen. olivia cooke’s character in thoroughbreds. allen ginsberg in kill your darlings. lily in sex education. holliday grainger’s character in the film animals --- i too am an aspiring writer who never writes and just gets drunk instead .

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no. cba

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — i go to the movies basically every day bcos i work in a cinema. im also a voracious reader n i occasionally do theatre or costume making

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — where the wild things are (film by spike jonze).  animals. beats. the book fen by daisy johnson and a girl is a half formed thing by eimar mcbride. andy warhol’s biography from a to b and back again

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — phoebe waller-bridge on how i get her life. carey mulligan on how she got to be such a good actress n how i can become her. maybs wes anderson. maybs gillian flynn. i tend to listen to podcasts w the ppl i really wanna pick the brains of.

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — blinded by the light n i lovd it

DO YOU STILL READ? — when i finished uni i kinda got out of the habit but this week i finished two books so ive set myself the challenge of a book a week.

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — i finished song of achilles yesterday n i also finished call me by your name yesterday. started circe by madeline miller today, im also partway through milkman by anna burns and the plays of annie barker

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 3 i didnt hate it bcos at heart i am self-indulgent and love fashioning some sense of self when i feel lost in a world that is scary and constantly changing 

❝               you     punched     me     in     the     face          ,          you     made     me     walk     through     𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘁𝘆     water          ,          brought     me     to     a        FUCKING     CRACKHOUSE          (     !     )          .  .  .          and     now          ,          i’m     gonna     have     to     kill     this     fucking     clown          .               ❞

𝖑𝖆𝖞𝖊𝖗     𝖔𝖓𝖊         .          dossier     .

full  name:  richard  james  tozier.

nicknames:  

primarily  known  as  richie.

rich.

trashmouth.

bowers’  gang’s  slew  of  derogatory  nicknames.

‘chee.

age:  twenty - one.

date  of  birth:  march  seventh.

place  of  birth:  derry,  maine.

nationality:  american.

occupation:

college  student.

bartender.

regular  on  the  local  college’s  radio  station.

sexual  &  romantic  orientation:  he’s  gay,  totally  gay  !

gender  identity:  cisgender  male,  using  he/him  pronouns.

hogwarts  house:  ravenclaw.

𝖑𝖆𝖞𝖊𝖗     𝖙𝖜𝖔         .          biographical     .

richard  james  tozier,  known  affectionaly  as  richie  or  trashmouth,  is  the  only  son  of  wentworth  and  maggie  tozier,  and  for  the  most  part  they’re  a  relatively  unassuming  family.  wentworth  is  a  dentist  whose  attitude  towards  his  own  son’s  dental  care  is  simultaneously  strict  and  lax,  and  maggie  makes  a  life  out  of  spoiling  the  fuckshit  out  of  her  boys  but  she  loves  it.  there’s  nothing  out  of  the  ordinary  about  the  little  family  they’ve  built   ;   established  in  their  routines,  in  their  practices,  the  toziers  are  nothing  to  write  home  about.

richie’s  a  handful,  admittedly.  diagnosed  with  adhd  when  he  turns  four,  he’s   hyperactive, loud,  histrionic,  a  sarcastic  little  smartass  before  he  knows  what  any  of  those  things  are.  he  keeps  himself  entertained  with  comic  books,  drinking  in  their  bright  colours  and  their  intricate  storylines  and  develops  an  infinite  love  for  their  careworn  pages  and  their  impossible  tales.  they  keep  him  grounded,  strange  as  it  is   — -   when  all  goes  to  shit,  as  it  inevitably  will,  he’ll  thumb  through  an  old  copy  of  uncanny  x-men  and  the  world  doesn’t  seem  so  heavy  anymore.  when  he  gets  his  first  pair  of  glasses,  thick - rimmed  plastic  frames  and  lenses  more  like  coke  bottles  than  actual  lenses,  he  spends  two  hours  spiraling  deep  into  the  familiar  world  of  his  comics.  when  he  gets  tripped  up  the  first  time,  when  he  gets  called  fuckface  or  four - eyes  or  worse,  he  swallows  back  the  lump  in  his  throat  and  legs  it  home  for  his  comics.  when  he’s  reading,  he’s  not  so  hyperactive   — -   he  still  frantically  jiggles  one  leg,  but  he’s  quiet,  introspective   — -   the  silence  is  rare  but  comforting.

his  sense  of  humour  is  sharp  as  anything,  practised  daily  on  his  poor  mother  and  father.  he’s  developed  a  slew  of  Voices,  little  impressions  that  differ  only  in  tone  and  intention,  but  wentworth  and  maggie  encourage  him  to  keep  working,  keep  building  on  them.  his  wit  gets  him  into  trouble  at  school,  and  numerous  teachers  have  written  in  reports  that  richie’s  got  a  bit  of  a  reputation  for  being  a  class  clown.   (   humour  is  a  desperate  attempt  to  grab  out,  to  latch  onto  a  friend  because  really,  he’s  so  fucking  lonely  it  hurts  and  he  just  wants  someone  to  laugh  at  him  and  entertain  his  endless  bullshit  and  be  there.   )

shouldn’t  have  wished  so  hard  for  friends,  because  they  come  along  in  the  form  of  the  losers’  club.  richie  moreso  stumbles  across  them  than  anything   — -   knew  bill  denbrough  because  they  lived  on  the  same  block,  found  him  fuckin’  round  in  the  barrens  with  some  other  kids  and  hey,  it’s  like  they’d  been  best  friends  forever.  there’s  bill,  big  bill,  stuttering  bill,  de  facto  leader  and  richie’s  unspoken  idol.  there’s  stan,  preternaturally  neat  and  it’s like  he  came  out  of  the  womb  like  that,  already  a  coherent  amalgamation  of  smiles  in  his  voice  and  rolled  eyes.  there’s  mike,  with  his  killawatt  smile  and  good  intentions  and  comforting  voice  that  sets  ease  into  richie’s  perpetually  rattled  bones.  ben,  whose  creativity  and  quiet  reassurance  is  something  richie  pines  after  desperately.  beverly,  the  only  girl,  cigarette-scented  voice  of  rhyme  and  reason  and  rationality.  then  there’s  eddie,  and  richie  swallows  up  anything  he  can  say  about  eddie  before  the  words  come  out.

it’s  painful,  realising  you’re  in  love  with  your  best  friend.  it  starts  early,  a  quick  glance  here  and  there  that  lingers,  a  breath  that  catches  in  your  throat  when  you  see  him  smile.  you  try  and  push  the  feelings  down,  swallow  them  whole  before  they  can  infect  every  part  of  you  but  darling,  it’s  never  that  easy.  by  the  time  summer  arrives,  you  are  in  far  too  deep.  you  never  really  recover  from  your  pre - adolescent  tango  with  love,  and  it  develops  into  an  adolescent  waltz  with  it,  and   — -   you  get  the  picture.

what’s  worse  is  knowing  that  you’re  not  the  same  as  the  others.  you  don’t  look  at  beverly  like  bill  and  ben  do,  and  you  hate  yourself  for  it.  you  wish  you  could  find  joy  in  the  sweet  smile  of  the  girl  that  sits  in  front  of  you  in  english,  but  you  find  yourself  drawn  to  the  boy  who  snorts  behind  his  hand  at  your  mistimed  joke.  you  hate  the  way  it  makes  you  feel  warm  and  fuzzy  inside.  you  hate  yourself,  but  you  won’t  speak  that  into  existence  /  choke  on  the  jokes  that  burn  like  acid,  swallow  down  the  insults  you  hurl  at  yourself  when  you  think  no  one  is  watching.  trash  the  trashmouth  --- -  first  one  to  hit  the  trashmouth  where  it  hurts  is  the  trashmouth  himself.

summer  brings   — -   well,  it’s  been  years  now  and  richie’s  still  lost  for  words  that  fit  what  that  summer  really  was.  it  starts  with  a  few  kids  going  missing,  ending  up  dead  and  then  it’s  george  denbrough,  little  georgie,  one  arm  chewed  off  and  yellow  slicker  tainted  sticky  red  and  then  the  whole  world  seems  to  fall  apart.  bill’s  a  madman  on  a  mission,  and  richie  follows   — -   follows  when  it  means  getting  taunted  by  a  demon  clown  alien  thing,  when  it  means  fucking  fighting  said  demon  alien  clown  thing,  snapping  eddie’s  broken  arm  back  into  some  kind  of  place  whilst  bated  breaths  are  held  back  in  case  it  hears.  they  beat  it,  and  richie’s  still  not  sure  how  but  he  knows  that  for  six  months  after,  he  can’t  look  at  a  clown  without  digging  bitten  fingernails  into  calloused  flesh  of  a  palm.  a  year  later,  he  still  jumps  at  too - loud  noises.  two  years  later,  he  starts  seeing  a  therapist  because  his  parents  have  noticed  he  can’t  sleep  in  the  dark  anymore.

he  remembers  the  entirety  of  that  summer  in  vivid  clarity.  he  wishes  he  could  forget.

high  school,  college  applications,  they  all  become  a  blur.  the  losers  spend  most  nights  together,  endless  double  features,  piling  into  cars,  growing  up  and  together  and  apart  until  the  first  one  of  them  leaves,  and  it  feels  like  taking  a  fucking  bullet.  slowly,  they  all  scatter  to  the  wind,  memories  firm  but  never  forgotten  and  richie’s  planning  california,  hot  summers  and  comedy  shows  but  he  ends  up  in  castle  rock,  only  a  stone’s  throw  away  from  derry.

he  studies  political  science,  because  he’s  got  a  weird  aptitude  for  it.  he  finds  comfort  in  arguing  about  trotskyism  and  writing  essays  about  the  fall  of  the  third  reich  at  4  am  in  the  morning,  buzzing  on  caffeine  and  glued  to  the  crackle  of  the  tiny  little  television  he  bought  with  the  majority  of  the  money  he  saved  for  textbooks.  he  barely  attends  lectures,  and  manages  to  ace  his  classes  because  despite  everything,  he’s  brilliant  (  and  no  i  won’t  let  this  point  go  ).  despite  a  well - earned  reputation  for  clownery,  he’s  always  been  a  brilliant  kid  and  he  never  chose  to  go  to  school,  so  he  never  bothered  applying  himself.  he  chooses  college,  therefore  he  works  and  it  shows.  

the  nightmares  persist  well  after  he  thinks  he’s  over  the  events  of  that  summer.  he  wakes  up  in  a  cold  sweat,  throat  sore  from  screaming  and  clutching  ripped  sheets,  and  he  can’t  chase  the  nightmares  away  because  they’re  too  real,  they’re  out  there  and  he  can’t  stand  that  knowledge.  he  can’t  deal  with  it,  so  he  drinks  instead.  there’s  a  few  jack  daniels  bottles  stashed  under  his  bed,  and  he  won’t  let  anyone  know  about  those  or  how  painfully  dependent  he  gets  on  the  hot  burn  of  whiskey  down  the  back  of  his  throat  when  the  nightmares  are  bad  and  he’s  sticking  to  threadbare  sheets.

and  yet,  despite  everything,  he  does  his  best  not  to  change  ---  same  sense  of  humour,  all  bark  and  no  bite,  tinged  with  a  wide  grin  and  sleep - tousled  bedhead.  despite  everything,  he’s  still  the  same  old  richie,  still  loudmouthed  and  too  quick  for  his  own  good  and  too  much  fun  to  be  around.

anyways  i  love  richie  tozier  a  lot  thank  you  for  coming  to  my  ted  talk

𝖑𝖆𝖞𝖊𝖗     𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊     .          fun     facts     .

he  currently  has  a  radio  show  on  the  college  radio  station,  played  in  the  early  hours  of  the  morning.  it  keeps  him  up  and  keeps  his  nightmares  away,  for  the  most  part. his  Voices  have  been  getting  gradually  better,  and  he’s   been  considering  doing  a  segment  on  his  radio  show  using  them.

his  entire  room  that  he  rents  in  a  sharehouse  is  covered  in  film  and  music  posters,  not  in  frames  yet  bc  he’s  not  that  kind  of  adult  yet.  he  fucking  loves  star  wars,  and  he  thinks  empire  strikes  back  is  the  coolest  fucking  thing  he’s  ever  seen.  he’s  an  avid  pop  culture  junkie,  swallows  it  all  up  and  ingests  it  until  he’s  glowing  with  it  all.

he  works  as  a  bartender  to  make  ends  meet,  amongst  other  things.  he  hasn’t  been  fired  for  drinking  bourbon  from  the  bottle  yet,   so  that’s  good  for  him.

he  bought  his  first  car  when  he  was  about  seventeen,  and  he  loves  the  damn  thing  even  though  it’s  pretty  much  worthy  of  nothing  but  the  local  trash  heap.

dresses  like  a  fucking  idiot  but  has  that  ever  changed

slowly  he’s  thinking  about  veering  out  into  comedy  n  i  support  it  for  him.  ur  not  jerry  seinfeld  but  try  ur  best  sweetie

a  girl  blew  him  a  kiss  in  high  school  and  he  pretended  like  he  got  shot  and  ‘  died  ’  in  mike’s  arms.  end  scene

Charles Xavier Is A Huge Dick: The Movie

or,

X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Hey, if you haven’t seen the movie yet and don’t want to be spoiled, you probably should stop reading!

*

I watched the new X-Men movie. Not only I’m that annoying cinema-goer that sits behind you and mocks the movie audibly during the seance, oh no, I’m also that annoying cinema-goer that comes back home and makes a bitchy tumblr post about the movie.

But, guys, that was so bad.

First off: I’m convinced that upon reading the script, James MacAvoy and Sophie Turner instantly lost the will to act, because we’ve all certainly seen far better performances from both of them.

My other theory is that the director simply told them not to bother, because this was, as far as I can tell, a deliberate franchise-killer.

The scene-by-scene description of the train-wreck under the cut for the curious.

PROLOGUE

We open the movie with the scene where young Jean Grey and her parents are in car crash, because Jean Cannot Control Her Powers. The kid survives; the parents aren’t so lucky. This scene is generally inoffensive, if predictable.

From now on, young Jean Grey behaves like a kid-shaped robot. Someone please write her better dialogue.

Charles Xavier arrives at the hospital, confirms her parents are dead, somewhat unenthusiastically delivers some well-worn platitudes and whisks her away to his school.

Hey, mutant powers are like pens. Especially the ones you can’t control, because sometimes pens go on a rampage and stab people in the eyes, you know, unintentionally.

(No, seriously, they went with that metaphor.)

TITLES - BACK TO THE FUTURE - or 1992, I guess, one cheer for 90s nostalgia

In effort to remind us humans that as a species we did some cool things on our way to ruining the planet, we watch the launch of a space shuttle.

Suddenly Houston, we have a problem. A sentient solar flare or something is attacking the brave astronauts! Oh no! Who’re we gonna call?!

Charles Xavier!

Like literally, the Mr. President of US of A calls Charles Xavier, like Chuck, are you watching the TV rn?, and Xavier’s like, already giddy with anticipation, Why yes, Mr. President, I see you are in a spot of trouble, and Mr. President’s like, Sooo, Chuck, I literally HATE TO ASK, BUT... and Xavier’s like, practically bouncing with glee, BUT OF COURSE, X-MEN TO THE RESCUE!!!

So Chuck sends off his chicks. Nominally, the team is under Mystique’s command. There also Hank, and baby-faced Storm, and even more baby-faced Kurt Wagner, oh yeah JEAN, she’s there too bc PLOT, and Scott was along too. Did I forget anyone?

I forgot someone, didnt I?

OH YEAH, the Quicksilver was there too. Considering how cool he was in earlier movie(s?), it’s kinda sad that he’s largely inconsequential here and I forgot about his existence about halfway through.

Charles calls Houston on the Cerebro like a huge showoff he is, and the X-Men proceed to rescue the astronauts from weird-looking space cloud (which is of course the Phoenix Force, or whatever comics call it). There’s some cool looking scenes here where X-Men use their powers, but they’re just window dressing for the main plot:

Charles Xavier is being a huge dick, backseat driving this mission through Cerebro and not trusting Mystique’s judgement.

BTW, Mystique might be the only character in the movie who behaves like a sensible person, which is why she’s not there for very long.

Anyway the scene goes like this:

Mystique: we saved ALL BUT ONE astronaut! Coming back for that one guy is super risky and probably will only lead to more deaths! I’m cutting my loses like sensible field leader!

Prof X: OH NO YOU WON’T get back for that one guy or the whole mission is a failure!!!

Mystique: WTF??!! That’s crazy, we will get killed!

Prof X: But it’s better to throw away our lives than have less than 100% record on rescue mission, because if we give humans even slightest pretext, they will instantly revert back to hating us, see? The President will stop taking my calls, people will want to arrest us for property damage, and neutralize our powers and stick us in prison for mutants.

Mystique: ...seriously, why am I on your side again?!

Prof X: Just have Kurt take Jean to the shuttle and she’ll hold it intact while he looks for the guy! Raven, I want to remind you I can bitch at you telepathically anytime, anywhere, for the rest of your life!

Mystique: DAMN YOU FINE

So they do it. Kurt manages to rescue the guy, but not Jean. The shuttle blows to bits around her. We are supposed to be sad for 2 seconds there, but then the Phoenix Flare swallows her, she survives, X-Men return to Earth with the astronauts and are showered with praise from adoring masses who stand there with cutesy sings to welcome them upon landing. Whatever.

Jean has a conversation with Scott where they mack on each other and she reassures him She’s Never Been Better, Really, I Feel Great After That Traumatic Experience, and Scott is like, IDK but okay?? I guess??

And Hank checks her out too, and her power is OVER NINE THOUSAAAAND, but Jean’s like, chill, I feel greeeeeat, so Hank’s like, the only problem with this situation is that I need to design a better power-meter!! Ha ha!

Meanwhile, back to plot A, where Charles Xavier continues to be a huge dick. Mystique calls him out about his control freak thing, Charles responds by being a sanctimonious asshole because it’s not like he ever learns or grows as a person in these movies, you know, and Mystique basically throws her arms up and storms out, which is a good representation for audience reaction at that point. Her parting shot is one of like two good lines in the whole movie:

Mystique: And anyway, as far as I can see, the women saved the day again! Maybe you should think about renaming us X-Women!

The movie will shortly repay her for that, don’t worry.

Some other things happen. Creepy aliens looking for Phoenix Booster covertly invade Earth. Mystique goes to Hank and says, hey so Charles is being a huge dick and a total control freak. I’m kinda fed up with him, maybe it’s time to move out and start living our own life? To which Hank is like, IDK Raven do even have a life outside X-Men, and I don’t want to move out of my lab, and Mystique is like, ugh okay I’ll stay.

Jean gets upset at the party and pushes some people over in midst of Phoenix breakdown, which makes everyone panic. Charles notices that her power is now OVER 9000 and he can’t just go and fuck around in her mind anymore, so the logical solution is to use Cerebro to do that anyway.

It turns out that Phoenix thing not only amplified Jean’s power, it also dissolved mental blocks Charles put in her mind to hide a terrible truth from her: her father survived the car crash. In fact, with her powers, she can find her father right now! Jean, in midst of her generic emotional crisis, blows out of the school to do exactly that, because she feels alone and misunderstood and betrayed, man.

It turns out he willingly gave her up and I guess hates her because she caused the accident by putting her mother to sleep while driving. Jean is pretty upset and about to smite the whole neighbourhood, when the X-Men arrive.

This is how X-Men discreetly take care of their business: They suit up in their official uniforms and take their official super-advanced jet and land it on the street, so everyone around will know what’s up. The only thing they were missing while confronting Jean was the transparent with the word INTERVENTION.

Jean freaks out, X-Men try to fight her, they all cause maximum collateral damage possible, there’s police, Mystique tries to talk Jean down, Jean semi-accidentally kills Mystique by pushing her over and impaling her on some wooden debris.

It’s all very badly written and feels utterly cheap and is a total waste of character. Frankly, the scene made me angry and not much else. But since the whole movie revolves on the fact that everyone is an idiot, Mystique didn’t go there anyway, I guess.

Anyway, it furthers three things:

Plot A, Charles is reaching new heights of being a huge dick wherein he goes to sprout platitudes at Hank, who predictably doesn’t want to listen to him and lashes out, to which Charles reacts very maturely by being OFFENDED, because Raven was HIS sister, OBVIOUSLY he’s the MOST injured party here! (No, seriously, he pretty much says that).

Plot B, Hank needs to be a bigger idiot, to which we will come back in a moment.

Plot C, Jean Grey is now Public Enemy Number One and all people are back to hating humans! The President literally stopped taking Xavier’s calls, people want to arrest X-Men for property damage, neutralize their powers and stick them in prison for mutants.

Oh, and aliens are tracking Jean to get the Phoenix Power or whatever.

Jeans next move is to go visit Erik Lehnsherr, who is living like a hobo in Genosha with a handful of like-minded mutants. She wants to ask him for life advice, I guess, because when Charles Xavier is being a huge dick and hiding your memories of your childhood trauma from you without your consent, Magneto is the only alternative.

Too bad she wants advice on Not Killing People With My Powers When I’m Kinda Upset With Them. It’s unsurprising that Erik Lehnsherr, who spend his whole life Deliberately Killing People With His Powers Because He Was Very Upset With Them, can’t really relate.

This upsets Jean further, and she demonstrates that by attacking US soldiers who came to Genosha to arrest them and doing her best to kill them. Then she flies off to drink in a bar, where an alien picks her up, because it wants to show her the whole wide world or something.

Let’s come back to plot B for a moment, which is Hank being an idiot. Hank is very distraught and wants to kill Jean. So Hank goes to Magneto.

Hank: I want to kill Jean and I need your help with that.

Erik: Wait, what? Why?

Hank: She killed Mystique!

Erik, already frothing at the mouth: ...let me grab my I’m Being A Huge Idiot Helmet, Hank, and we can commence the business of killing.

So the aliens are pitching their “Let’s Re-Create The Earth In Your Image” campaign to Jean, which can be done only in a New York townhouse, specifically in a very special bedroom (...oh hey, I didn’t pick up on that creepy vibe until now!).

Jean is largely convinced, because in this movie characters just go back and forth as the plot demans.

So both Charles and Erik with their lackeys track down Jean, and have a huge fight in front of the above-mentioned townhouse, with lots and lots of collateral damage while they debate who is right. Before that, Erik has the second good line in the movie, which is used to rightfully call out Charles:

Erik: You’re always sorry and there’s always a speech. But no one wants to listen anymore.

Anyway, X-Men and the mutants beat up each other, Erik gets into the house and fails to kill Jean, then Charles gets in the house and tries to talk down Jean, which is followed by perhaps the most genuinely disquieting scene in the movie, in which Jean uses her telekinesis to destroy the wheelchair and force Charles to walk up the stairs.

They have an exchange that is supposed to be hopeful and heartwarming and so on, but by this point I’m fed up with this world movie.

Jean rejects the aliens’ campaign, so the alien head honcho attempts to suck out the Phoenix Dust out of her, and partially succeeds, but is interrupted midway and knocked out. All the mutants are arrested, put into special shackles restricting their powers and put on a train which is going straight to special prison for mutants.

Don’t worry, we’re in the last stretch.

Aliens need the rest of Phoenix Macguffin, so they ambush the train. There’s a big action scene, everyone is fighting the aliens, there are a few cool shots but beyond that I’m blanking. In the end Jean awakens, wipes the floor with the aliens, and when the alien head honcho tries to emotionally blackmail her into not eviscerating its hide, she grabs it, flies up into the sky and explodes them both.

Much sad. Very sacrifice. Such tears etc etc etc.

AN EPILOGUE, FINALLY

The situation returns to the status quo, except some people are dead.

The humans were about to lock up mutants in a prison like five minutes earlier, but nobody mentions that. Guess everyone forgot about that.

As far as I can tell, nobody except X-Men noticed that Earth was about to be invaded by aliens.

The school is renamed after Jean Grey.

Hank is the new headmaster. On his desk, a cheesy nostalgic photo of Mystique.

Charles, despite seemingly getting a pass on his dickishness on every turn in this narrative, is Worn Down By His Losses and retires. He occupies his time by brooding morosely at a cafe in unspecified European-looking country.

Erik finds him there. He is disproportionately cheery, like a man who after decades of pining finally is in a place where he can bully his longtime crush into a reluctant chess date, which he proceeds to do.

Camera pans up, to the sky. The sky gives us Phoenix Force-shaped wink.

THE END

Heaven Review

Final Rating: */***** or 1/10

The angel Bethany and her mortal love, Xavier, have already pushed the boundaries of Heaven with their relationship. In this conclusion to the Halo trilogy, the two take their love to the next, forbidden, step: They marry.

At a time when they believe nothing will come between them again, they are faced with their most daunting challenge yet: the Sevens, a military order of angels designed to maintain balance in the universe. These soldiers won't stop until their job is done - capture the wayward angel and send her home.

Secrets, exile, and unexpected allies flavor the rest of this intense love story and adventure.

Beth discovers there is only one way back to earth, but the cost is higher than she - and readers - ever imagined. If she can survive, she can prove to Heaven and Earth that there is nothing stronger than the power of love.

Heaven by Alexandra Adornetto is the Spider-Man 3 of all books and that is probably the highest praise I can give it considering I did enjoy Spider-Man 3. 

I can’t believe I finally finished this fucking trilogy and HOLY SHIT this book was. A ride. A wild wild ride. I cannot put into words how utterly stupid, bad, and unintentionally hilarious and entertaining this book is. Drama after drama unfolds, none of it really sticks or is really connected to... anything. There’s actually quite a bit of action, but since the main characters are so hateable and nothing connects to anything it feels almost like some sort of terrible action movie. But I understand... books are hard to write and how do you write a good conclusion for a terrible series? 

Well, you don’t.  

Now, is this book more hilarious and entertaining than Hades? In some ways... yes. Yes it is. However, unlike Hades, which was just hilarious throughout for the most part, this book does have some incredibly boring and just painfully stupid parts that remind me of the entirety of the first book. 

Heaven goes out of its way to cram even more religion down your throat. It tries to be even more offensive than the previous books combined. The author tries so so so hard to make these bland characters get on soapboxes as much as she can so they can spew utter nonsense about everything in general. This book is homophobic:

“Marriage is an indissoluble covenant between man and woman” -Gabriel 

(Yes the above is a direct quote)

It’s also transphobic: 

“Billie?” “No way, she’ll be gender confused.” 

(They’re discussing baby names. So I guess if you’re a (cis) girl and named... Billie or Riley you’re gender confused according to this author. As if that’s how it works at all) 

Aaaaand like the last book, the only PoC character is a black angel who’s the main villain. He’s also the only actual attractive character in this mess as well. I guess it’s good she... finally gave her meager PoC character an actual ethnicity? Hemiel is described as being black while Asia, from the last book, is just dark-skinned and ambiguously PoC. Of course, this is a double-whammy here... only Hemiel’s race is described throughout the entire book. And he’s the leader of the group of antagonists. Of course.  Instead of just writing in PoC as people or just not touching the matter and allowing people to imagine the characters however they wished, all the PoC characters in this series (which amounts to two...) are honed in on and specified having a darker skin tone.

I also feel as if this book is offensive to like... every normal Christian out there? Like the Christianity in this book is Evangelical and just. Makes it sound like the whole religion is full of lunatics.

Like I can’t find any way this book isn’t offensive. It’s offensive to Christians and people of other faith. It’s offensive to LGBT+ people. It’s offensive toward PoC. It’s offensive toward domestic abuse survivors. It’s offensive to neurodivergent people. It’s offensive toward Southerners who think people down here are... like that. It’s offensive to both women and men as well. Like, this book holds no punches in it’s freezing cold takes and wrongness. 

However, despite all of the above, I could not be bothered to be offended at all during this book. Now, I am an utter goblin and fall under many of the categories above, and I can understand why someone may get offended by this book. But I myself did not get offended. For one, it’s obvious the author is trying to be as “edgy” as she can be with the above. Why else would she go out of her way to preach every few pages, after all? 

And it really does feel like she, the author, is preaching her beliefs to us during these moments. The shallow “story” grinds to a halt almost every time the characters get on their soapbox for anywhere between a few paragraphs to a few pages. 

Rather than give an actual review about the entire book... I’m just gonna. Explain the plot. Because honestly everything I said about the last two books carried over. Actually, arguably, even though this book had more action than Hades, it is a technically worse book. I found several spelling and grammar mistakes, the pacing was atrocious... although better than the first book, none of the events were connected in any way and had no significance on one another. They didn’t really build up to any conclusion, relevant character development, or form any sort of detailed plot. 

However, that being said, this book does have a plot. A thin one that makes little sense and goes everywhere and one where the subplots aren’t even tied up at the end, but one nonetheless. 

Spoilers abound if anyone actually cares!!

In Heaven, Beth and Xavier decide to get marry. Even tho Beth recognizes signs around town that means hey this might not be a good idea she ignores these signs since she’s an incredibly selfish dunce. The priest who marries them is murdered for committing the sin of marrying an angel and a human together (?) and now Beth and Xavier are on the run from a group of angels known as “The Seven” who act as police. Due to God being Too Busy with Godly Things, The Seven go completely out of wack and become utterly obsessed with returning order... which means breaking their marriage I guess. 

Of course, the above sounds stupid and makes little sense. There is no real reason on WHY angels and humans can’t marry. Like the previous books, there wasn’t any real reason why they couldn’t date either. It’s unexplained. Furthermore, that murdered priest? Yeah, Beth says it’s not her or Xavier’s fault since “they didn’t know they would be punished” yet... time and time again they were told that even dating was forbidden and barely tolerated AND on top of that she was warned with numerous signs that marrying may be a bad idea... so no she’s an idiot and it IS her fault. And honestly? Reading about an angel coming to terms with being the cause of death for someone innocent would have been interesting... but that would require Beth taking responsibility for her actions and stop being a selfish and whiny bitch... which is impossible. 

After that her and Xavier go on “the run” which isn’t even on the run. They hang out in a cabin for a couple of chapters and whine about how they can’t fuck and how bored they are even tho, you know, it’s their own faults for getting into this mess at all. So much weight is put on marriage and I just... don’t get it. I am someone who doesn’t really want to marry anyone and if I did, it would only be for the benefits. I really don’t care about marriage at all, personally, so I just don’t get why it’s such a big deal here. I get it’s part of the religion... but still. Now, if the concept of marriage was explored in any significant way, that would’ve been interesting to read. But it’s not, so let’s move on. 

After being caught by the Seven after doing Stupid Shit, they go to college because...? Sevens rely on their smell and with so many humans around it will mask it? Yeah, lame and contrived excuse to force the characters to go to college. 

The college section of this book is one of the most boring and pointless. It consists of Beth hating on other girls, girls only talking about sororities and boys, and feels like a scene taken from a cheesy movie. It’s completely and utterly unrealistic and cringy; completely painful to read. Here, Beth and Xavier pretend to be siblings... which is disgusting considering this is where they decide to fuck in the woods (which is written SO BADLY I can’t even. Like... for real bitch starts waxing poetic about how she feels she’s in an underwater magical world while getting dirt and grass up her ass I don’t get it) anyways they pretend to be siblings while alone they are husband and wife and it’s so... gross... like you KNOW it’s not incest since they aren’t ACTUALLY related but STILL it makes me feel dirty to read. (And also makes me question if the author has an incest kink bc I mean really....)

Anyways, ofc they’re eventually caught by Beth’s roommate? Who fell in love w Xavier bc the need for drama demanded it and ofc she is disgusted. To hide themselves, Beth grows s k i n over her mouth and then f o r c e f u l l y wipes her memories... and again, claims she is still moral and good doing so since her “hand was forced” 

Now, is this an interesting moral dilemma that could be explored? Of course it is! And because it is, it’s not explored at all, the book assumes Beth is in the right and the reader agrees, and moves on like nothing bad happened. No lasting consequences happen due to this. 

Speaking of... Beth’s character is so radically changed she feels OOC. It’s like the author wanted to have character development but not do any of the actual work at all. She acts like the baddest bitch around and complains that she’s world weary from “all the trauma she’s been through” but it comes out of nowhere? Like she’s still whiny and selfish and annoying. She still acts like a little girl and that the whole world owes her. She ain’t a badass and I dunno why the book is trying to convince us she is. 

Anyways, after THAT fiasco MORE drama hits the fan as the Sevens find them due to them Being Stupid and also Fucking In The Woods and stage what is basically a poor and tasteless terrorist attack in the lecture hall. Now, I do wanna note Heaven is a book that is several years old now... and the author is Australian, but that’s no excuse for the piss-poor mismanagement of a terrorist attack shown in a college campus. 

Now, that being said, this terrorist attack is by the Sevens, who manipulated memories to make it seem like this is what it was... I think... it is very unclear. Someone even dies during this... actually two people... heh

Either way, Hemiel is introduced, he’s shown to be a Horrible Angel with No Empathy and the students ofc freak out and hide under their desks while the room is trashed as they try and root out Xavier and Beth. Hemiel is trying to separate them by either dragging Beth back to Heaven or killing Xavier... and they do manage to succeed this time around!

YES, XAVIER DIES

Well, kinda. I was SO SHOOK when this happened I got EXCITED like could you imagine if Xavier died and the rest of the book is Beth hunting his soul down in Heaven while also looking at her own relationships and exploring the concept of death for a universe that has shown us death is not the end? Yeah, that doesn’t happen ofc but it would’ve been cool. 

Anyways, Xavier sadly doesn’t stay dead. Beth’s sister, Ivy, brings him back even THO SHE SAYS SHE CAN’T she does so anyways because ??? plot armor. But it was fun reading about him being dead. That being said, more problematic stuff pops out here, ofc. Beth threatens to kill herself if she can’t be with Xavier which is just.. not even gonna touch that with a 10-foot pole, honestly. Because yikes. 

Anyways, after pages of the author deciding to take the pussy way out, Xavier comes back except he’s not alone in his body.... because you see...

dun dun DUN Lucifer is back! And he has possessed Xavier! To get... revenge on them killing Jake Thorn, his son! 

I think this is the part of the book where the author realized SOMETHING from the last book needed to carry over to make this an actual trilogy? So on top of having Sevens and Not-In-The-Know College campus girls as the antagonists, we also need to throw Lucifer onto the mix. And he isn’t even the LAST antagonist to be introduced to this book!

This is why I call it the Spider-Man 3 of books, people. There are at least 4-5 different villains in this book and it is ridiculous. This is also why none of the events feel connected. There’s too many antagonists and honestly? You could cut out this entire portion with Lucifer out and nothing would change. It’s just a page-waster. 

That being said, this entire section was the most hilarious and fun to me. I enjoyed Lucifer a LOT in the last book and here he doesn’t disappoint! He calls Beth a whiny bitch to her face which is honestly... a wholeass mood so yeah. 

Beth, Gabriel, and Ivy tie down Lucifer to a bed in a basement of a house they so happen to own which is kinky I guess and a standoff kinda happens? Lucifer is too strong of a demon for the angels to exorcise since they’ve been weakened fighting Sevens or something and Lucifer wants to stay in Xavier’s body to take revenge on him and the angels. 

Which... okay. See, this starts turning stupid as then Gabriel and Lucifer start waxing poetic and debating about... the morality of Lucifer’s fall from Grace? I just... more bible shit... whyyy and it could have been interesting if we cared about Gabriel or if Lucifer was a real character rather than just “big bad” but blehh. Jake Thorn makes a return as a wraith briefly to develop a deal between Beth and Lucifer to get Lucifer out of Xavier’s body or something and it’s honestly so pointless. This entire scene is pointless. There’s so many plotholes it’s painful. 

And thing is, if the author kept the big bad of the series to just Lucifer, this right here is a great starter to a different book. But for some reason, she changes villains every book. Fuck, she changes the villains in this book every few goddamn chapters! This is why nothing feels concrete in this book and why nothing sticks, nothing feels important, and events have no weight. This book feels serialized. Like a monster-of-the-week sort of story that encapsulates multiple episodes of some tepid and poor Supernatural ripoff. And I never even watched Supernatural. 

After this event, everything goes downhill fast. Mainly ‘cause this is the last time we see Lucifer. He just kinda leaves after this section, doesn’t come back, and is barely thought of. The only reason why this entire section of this book is here is because Lucifer agrees to leave Xavier’s body if Gabriel’s wings are cut off? Thing is, his wings aren’t even cut off, they’re just badly damaged. But if you needed Gabriel’s wings to be destroyed for Plot Reasons... just have the Seven’s damage them? Like why drag an entire random ass character and this entire random ass scene into it?

See? Nothing makes any gd sense! The author just wanted to write this scene ‘cause she wanted to... not because it would make sense to put in. And Xavier barely has any trauma from the fact he was possessed by the greatest evil of the world. He watches a game of football, has sex with his wife, and is pretty much completely fine after that. Yikes. That’s not how... people work? At all?

Anyways, Gabriel getting his wings damaged means he’s now Emotional TM since idk pee is stored in the wings? Actually, an angel’s version of a soul and he then confesses his love for Molly, Beth’s friend from hs who is now in an abusive relationship w the head of a growing cult. I WISH I WAS JOKING

Like. What was the author SMOKING when she came UP with this stuff. Anywyas, all that happens is more waxing poetic about love and Gabriel acting OOC and then soapboxing about Christianity and cults or something. Then Later they all rescue Molly from her initiation into the cult by her fiance and since she’s separated from him, she can have no trauma now because she was rescued!! Ain’t that just GREAT!! And now she can be with Gabriel!! Silly Molly, for even FALLING for a cultist anyways!! Yeah, this point of the book just.... whyyyy what is the pooooint whyyy does the author need to put in her two cents about DOMESTIC ABUSE!! NO ONE ASKED!! NO ONE. Maybe because people complained Beth and Xavier’s relationship was shitty and had abusive traits so she had to put in a more dramatic abusive relationship to show that there’s isn’t? But Molly being in an abusive relationship with a cultist doesn’t... magically mean Beth and Xavier’s unnatural obsession w one another is healthy. You don’t-can’t- compare abuse. Or at least you shouldn’t. It’s not a fucking pissing game. 

Anyways, after that fiasco, which again has no real trauma or emotional impact on... anyone? They go back to Venus Cove after being caught AGAIN by Sevens at the college campus. Xavier is revealed that he’s... part Angel? Because Ivy blessed his mother to give birth to him and he was destined to cross paths with Beth or some shit? It’s all convoluted and stupid, honestly. There is no point to this besides giving Xavier a magical way to combat the Sevens in a scene because silly Beth is a womyan and she can’t defend herself and her HUSBAND against ANGELS of course not!! She needs a man to help her!! Also... I guess for more drama? I don’t know I’m just perplexed at this point. 

They go back to Venus Cove because ?? Beth and Xavier are finally cornered and Beth is forced to go back to Heaven. She’s put with a therapist called Eve. More grossness about therapy and misinformation about mental institutions is inbound. Eve is the last of the villains introduced and it doesn’t even matter. Beth can’t stand Heaven without Xavier and goes to get help from Emily, Xavier’s dead gf who he lost his virginity to which is info We Didn’t Need or Care About. Her and Beth argue some, Beth is a bitch, but she’s like that to everyone in the book so whatever. She meets with a friend who was once a Seven who introduces her to some RANDOM ANGEL who HAPPENS to run an UNDERGROUND REBELLION against the Sevens that cuts wings off of angels who want to be human?

And this doesn’t go against God because ??? I have NO Idea because the author doesn’t want it to and God already knows about them and is ok w it and the political unrest in Heaven I guess? God the contradictions are piling up. THIS MAKES NO SENSE AND COULD BE A BOOK ON ITS OWN

Also why were we wasting time with Beth in the first book when there was ALL THIS happening on in the BACKGROUND apparently?? I don’t know nothing makes any sense. 

Anyways, her wings are cut off, she says goodbye to Heaven and falls, lands on the beach of Venus Cove. Her old friends walk by talking about exposition in the 2 years she’s been gone but doesn’t see her somehow? I guess this exposition is supposed to tie in subplots but it doesn’t and also doesn’t matter. 

Beth goes back to Xavier, they have a reunion, and are alone now in the house since Ivy and Gabriel aren’t even there they went off somewhere to do Things I guess and it doesn’t matter. She’s human now and has a belly button and everything so now they can grow old and die together the end.

If it isn’t clear by now.... this book has a problem with basically everything. From a technical standpoint it’s an utter nightmare. In some ways, even worse than Halo since this book also has a tone and mood problem. The story jumps ALL OVER THE PLACE and does a poor job at mixing the supernatural parts and the human parts together. Revelations are made that have no bearing on anyone or anything. Drama happens and so do traumatic events but no one is really impacted by... anything? Beth is always in the right even if she does terrible things, poor her and Xavier, their life as rich white people is so hard since their love isn’t accepted or recognized by Heaven :( let me play the world’s smallest violin for them. 

Seriously. No self awareness or critique. At all. 

I don’t know what else to say about this book. I think it should be evident in everything ELSE I’ve said. Writing? Bad. Plot? What plot? Bad anyways. Characters? Godawful. Too many. No direction, no pace, nothing. This book feels like a churned out mess probably because it is. I don’t even wanna ASK how this got published because the answer is simple; money. 

Either way, I am BLESSED to be done with this series. As hilarious as Hades and Heaven are, I wanna go back to reading REAL books, thank you very much. 

Also, I am so sorry Spider-Man 3. I am so so sorry for comparing you to Heaven. That is a straight up insult and I take it back right now. Because I don’t think anything is comparable to Heaven. 

*/***** or 1/10