#the way they knew i was listening to my disco playlist because of the damn bg ToT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

0poole · 4 years

Text

I LOVE No Straight Roads

Honestly it’s hard to keep me away from a game with great visuals and even greater character design. I knew from the INSTANT I saw these characters that I was going to love it. I just finished it because it’s (unfortunately) pretty short, and even though I cheesed the final boss through it’s very lenient death mechanics (Instant respawn at the cost of a good rank) I actually appreciated that it wasn’t a pure cake walk. I’ve yet to rematch all of the bosses, but since I had genuine trouble with the later ones I’ll hold off on that.

But who cares about gameplay, am I right? I sure as hell don’t. I would’ve bought the game no matter what the hell it was. I wanted the characters (and the music, although I realized that second) and that was it.

First of all, I love any world that is super fantastical but cheesy in its concept, ala a city powered by music, and battles between artists using music. Ideas like this only spawn from a mind that wants to create a fun atmosphere, if nothing else, and it was sure as hell fun. I genuinely love when someone goes so far into a crazy idea and doesn’t waste your time explaining it with real world logic. Wanna know how a city can be powered by music? Shut up and look at the cute virtual mermaid. Lord knows I did. Every once in a while, it does you good to just let the player/reader/viewer just revel in the idea without having to go out of your way to make things seem realistic. It’s not about “turning your brain off” or whatever, it’s picking your battles.

Also, I can seriously love a world with great background characters to it. Any game with the right situation to insert the random nobodies you find onto the streets into the art in the credits really played into the greatness of the world’s less important characters, and that’s always a good thing. It’s technically world building. But, since I always love to pick favorites, I’d have to say my favorite background character is easily Mia, the NSR infodesk assistant. It’s funny, because you can literally search “nsr characters” into Google and she’s the third image result. I love how jumpy she is when you first interact with her, since NSR probably spread the word about B2J suggesting they’re rock thugs who’d beat up anyone, so for all she knows she could die right then and there with a guitar lodged in her skull. She’s probably just some intern trying to pay for college. She don’t want trouble.

Also, I just realized that 90% of the characters in this game have the same body structure that I always love, that being having arms/legs that sort of fan out in width into relatively large hands/feet. It’s a kind of limb structure I fall into so much because it just really hits me right for some reason. I really can’t explain why.

Anyways, I gotta talk about the big boys individually:

Mayday and Zuke are an amazing duo. I’m always a sucker for a cute and crazy girl, but honestly Zuke hit so many of the right notes too. I will say it’s weird to pair the martian Zuke with the humanly-skinned Mayday, but honestly it doesn’t even matter because he looks so cool on his own. I love his weird blocky blue dreadlocks, and his weirdly shaped shirt which bares his chest in the weirdest way... And, oh my god, Mayday’s weird Spongebob background flower eyes? It’s little tidbits like that that really make me jealous. How could I have ever thought of that? It looks so perfect, and I don’t know why. And her little booty jig she does in her idle animation? Adorable. I played as her as much as was reasonable not only because I’m a filthy button masher with little strategy but also because she’s so damn cute. I can also appreciate how she has a tough-as-nails persona while still keeping a semi-girly attitude, like with her falling for 1010 and Sayu. Characters are so much better when they’re a perfect blend of characteristics, instead of being all one-note, like how Zuke is the quiet one but gets heated against DK West, and all.

Honestly the voice acting for every character is great, but I love when Mayday’s VA’s accent shows through. It’s a perfect twang to accent (consider this the only acknowledgement of a pun in this post) her snarkiness.

DJ Subatomic Supernova was going to be an easy favorite since he’s all space-themed. Also, I don’t know why I always end up liking the egotistic characters. Not in the sense that I like their egotistic-ness, but in the sense that I like everything else about them and they just so happen to also be egotistic. The same applied with Empoleon (maybe like my 2nd favorite Pokemon) and Rarity from MLP, probably among others. Either way, I’ll never not love space themes. Not to mention he’s got a funky disco theme, and I’m slowly starting to realize that I am in extreme love with techno-funk styles of music. The instant I heard his music he cemented his place into my playlists.

As for design, I still have no idea what the fuck he is. Clearly AI is at human levels in this world, but if he’s a robot why does he still have hairy legs? But, if he’s a human, is that weird orb his head? Is it just some sort of puppet which he controls from inside his giant jacket? I know I dissed explaining things realistically but I actually want to know with this guy. Even the wiki doesn’t say. Either way, he’s clearly the logical extreme of “being at the center of your own universe.” Even his jacket depicts a solar system, with his hood being the sun. Didn’t see that until I tried to draw him. I really wish this guy wasn’t so tied to his DJ stand so I could reasonably draw him without it. I don’t want to draw his hairy ass legs. It is a great touch for his design though (although I prefer his beta look with pants and long boots, another design trait I tend to gravitate to) since DJs could reasonably not wear pants, since they’re always behind a table.

Sayu is my favorite. It’s so plainly obvious. It’s weird to say that sometimes, because some characters like Sayu are so clearly engineered to be as adorable as possible, to the point where they’re basically a parody of whatever they’re supposed to be emulating, but then they do that so well that they are still likable for what they’re trying to parody. Also, even though I’ve never looked into any vocaloid superstars myself, the fact that they exist and are loved in real life is absolutely perfect to be used as a character design in a world like this. It’s so weird conceptually, but we all know it’s normal and realistic. But yeah, she’s a giga-cutie whom I’ve already drawn and I’ve listened to her theme on loop on many different occasions. Favorite character, favorite track, favorite weapon of choice (What did I say about Empoleon?), which, and I wouldn’t have noticed this myself, looks like the USB symbol you see above USB ports on computers. How crazy perfect is that?

Even apart from my unbridled love for cute monster robot(?) girls, her boss fight is probably the 2nd greatest of them all, at least conceptually. She’s just a hologram, so you can’t touch her, but you CAN disconnect the artists which control her in order to defeat her. It’s the kind of concept for a boss fight that could only work for this type of character. I’m a sucker for the cute girl that provides her voice, but I love how the animator (video editor? the yellow one) actually attacks you with a mouse and lowers the brightness of the setting once he appears. Also, the mocap guy being the deeply-voiced type but still providing the adorable movements of her body. It’s such a great combo of characters, and their little extra art in the credits makes me like them even more. I just wish we could interact with them individually.

DK West was probably one of the most interesting characters visually, especially since I knew of every other NSR member long before the game came out, but I only just heard of him closer to the release. I wasn’t sure where he was placed, but I definitely assumed his gig was the weird shadow demon we saw in the trailers. When I finally saw him in game, I was shocked to hear him speak an entirely different language most of the time, which was really cool. Also, finding out he was tied to Zuke and wasn’t strictly an NSR artist really made him more interesting. You know, if his fucking shadow clone magic didn’t make him crazy cool enough. Even though I suck at his game and am not especially fond of his raps, the visual of him rapping with this giant monster behind him and dozens of weird shadow wingmen by his side hyping him up was probably one of the coolest in the entire game. The dark way they were hyping him up too gave such a bizarre atmosphere, especially since it parallels his seemingly chill and smiley demeanor.

I definitely hope they’ll introduce new bosses as DLC in the future, and make them sort of in the same vein as DK West, where they aren’t the biggest artists ever, but they want to pick a fight with B2J. I’d kill for any extra content this game can provide.

Yinu is obviously special since she was the subject of the demo they put out for the game. Even though I knew all her bells and whistles, she and her mom still beat me a few times in the full game. Considering she’s semi-tied to story-ish spoilers I kinda want to go more into her in a separate section. It is worth considering playing the game first since it’s not hard (with the easy going deaths) and it’s short length.

1010 seriously grew on me as I learned more about them and interacted with them. I got their shtick when I first looked at them, but after seeing that animation of them touring the city on Youtube I was kinda falling for them. Then, I learned that they’re apparently repurposed navy war robots? I mean, maybe not them specifically, but it seems to heavily point in that direction, with the warship cars and “attention!”s and all. It took me a bit to get into their music too, but once I actually fought them and put their actions to the music I fell in love with it. I swear, Neon J’s weird dancing can has some of the smoothest moves in all of gaming. I don’t know whether they mocapped out those movements or got one of the greatest animators ever, but it looks so impossibly clean his part of the song gets me like 30x more hype than it would normally.

Also, their little art piece of them looking at fan mail in the credits is probably one of the most adorable things ever. Even if they’re just Neon J’s puppets, that piece of art really makes it seem like they love every one of their fans. I’m not gonna lie, I might swoon a bit too if they picked me out and gave me some special attention.

Oh yeah, and the fact that Mayday was super sad in her showstopper against them was adorable and hilarious at the same time. The little tweaks they made to the showstopper for each fight were great.

Eve just has to be Lady Gaga, right? Like, an even crazier Lady Gaga. DJSS is Daft Punk (or any artist with a helmet persona, you know what I’m talking about), Sayu is Hatsune Miku, DK West is Kanye West, Yinu is a generic child protege, 1010 is a KPop boyband (just pick one) and Eve is Lady Gaga. That’s just how things are. But, again, this is the kind of boss fight that only this type of character could provide. It’s not just surreal imagery, it’s ARTISTIC surreal imagery. The fight is so mesmerizing in every way, especially by how it starts off so slow and calm and progresses to insanity, as well as the increased emotional investment in the fight making you feel so much more into it than just “That’s the boy band. Let’s fight.” Not only does it get you more invested, but it makes her artistic persona go deeper than just “she looks weird.” She is genuinely conflicted about her relationship with Zuke, and naturally that leads her to literally split him and Mayday apart. That mechanic specifically was the coolest, although I do wish they made it more obvious when you needed to switch over to a different side. I was getting pulverized by her fight too, since there were so many things to pay attention to. Her fight was definitely the best one.

Tatiana and Spoilers:

Let’s be real with ourselves, the twist was so obvious. I do also think, though, that obvious twists aren’t bad if they’re just good reveals. At some point, a person just has experienced so many stories that “only pretty good” twists are easy to spot. It doesn’t mean that the twists are bad, it just means you yourself experienced.

I feel like her transition from rock to EDM was pretty understandable, even as a non-musician. She was so caught up in what she assumed was popular that it basically consumed her. It’s easy as an artist to want to forgo what you truly want to make in favor of what makes you popular, and clearly since her transition to EDM made her the CEO of the biggest company in the city (world?) that probably made her think she truly needed to change her outlook. Then, when she saw B2J try to bring it back, she sort of coined them as being as misguided as she was and knocked them down a peg. Plus, they were kinda being jerks about it.

It’s kinda like the Trolls sequel, where everyone pegs rock music fanatics as being too stuck up in their own heads to appreciate other types of music, which honestly seems more like the case than the alternative. When I first heard of the story of the game, I was seriously hoping they did put an asterisk on B2J’s ambitions because they were a bit sketchy from the start.

That’s kinda where I want to talk about Yinu, because she was the true turning point in what they were doing. She’s literally 9 and yet she’s getting dragged into all this BS. When she said “I hate you all” at the end of her fight, and played a somber tune on her broken piano after the fight destroyed it, you kinda got a kick in the face to realize you’re kinda being an asshole to some of them. Sure, they fight back, but they wouldn’t fight in the first place if they didn’t have to. They are just people who play music under a joint name that B2J just so happened to get in hot water with.

Then, of course, there’s Kliff, who also reeked of surprise villain, and who’s basically the embodiment of the bad side of B2J, where he just wanted to destroy for his own sake and not for the actual greater good. Once B2J realized their mistake, they backed off, but Kliff was so hard pressed to do what he planned on in the first place he wouldn’t stop. I kinda wish he got a bigger fight to his own since he’s clearly a big enough tech genius to divert a whole satellite into one specific building. Maybe the Elliecopter chase bit was his thing, but I do kind of wish he was there to fight against them too.

Even though Tatiana did kind of reform a bit quick, It’s still not too crazy to assume she could see that B2J was just misguided and the fact that they worked to revert their wrongdoings for her sake would make a pretty strong impressions. They clearly can hold their own, so it’s not like she wouldn’t want them to join NSR too.

Oh yeah, and her boss fight was clock/time themed. If there’s a theme under space that I love, it’s clocks/time.

And If I am to be respected by the internet, I must provide a negative opinion to balance out my positive one. I will say that the character model physics (like Mayday’s braids, DK West’s vest thing, Neon J’s fluffy neck thing, etc) got kinda funky at times. Especially DK West’s vest, which was completely messed up for every scene he was in... Also, even though the voices are mostly great, some lines felt a bit off. Just a bit. That good enough? Good.

But yeah anyway that’s another favorite game to add to the pile. Eventually I’m gonna have to compile a true list of my all-time favorite games/movies because I do kind of want to have a solid idea of what my all-time favorites are.

#nsr #no straight roads #bunk bed junction #dj subatomic supernova #sayu #yinu #dk west #spoilers #1010 #eve #tatiana #rambling #review #poole #etc #opinions #rant

849 notes · View notes

xnchxntmxnt · 3 years

Note

Hi Spencer!! Ahhh I hope you’ve reached 200 by the time you get this! It’s been so amazing watching you grow and your works have brought lots of comfiness into my life 🥰 thank you so much for creating and writing and making one of the most aesthetic blogs I’ve ever seen (hehe love the constellation aesthetic) sending lots of positive vibes and appreciation your way 💕

For the matchup event (ahh it’s my first time ever doing one and I hope I didn’t put too much 😱) thank you in advance 💖

Name: eggu

Pronouns: she/her

Preferred partner: open to anyone

MBTI: INFJ

Horoscope: Aquarius

Aesthetic: light academia, soft, oversized sweaters, korean street wear, fandom merch, white and pastels, 4:00 am talks about life, stars and clouds

Some things about me:

I took piano, dance and martial arts lessons growing up and I still enjoy playing piano a lot

I enjoy playing video games on my spare time (I’m currently selling my soul to genshin impact)

I really love music of all genres but I’m currently really into kpop and khiphop (my favourite artists are seventeen and stray kids)

I really like naps and sleeping in general and prefer it over eating — I would say I have pretty low energy in general

I like desserts, pastries and dim sum

I recently got into watching art streams, journaling and collecting cute stationery

I’ve pretty much been a huge geek/fangirl all my life and have loved reading and animation since I can remember

I just finished watching jujutsu kaisen and am currently watching fruits basket (lol I enjoy both extreme shounen and fluffy shoujo)

I’m human and have lots of insecurities but I’m learning

Ideal traits in a partner:

Able to appreciate the quiet moments

I’m not a super physical person, but it would be nice to be physically close to someone I trust and that respects my boundaries

Trustworthy — didn’t have a great past relationship 😞

Isn’t afraid to keep up with banter and has witty remarks... someone that can keep me on my toes

Is driven in something they love

willing to learn and grow alongside me

@eggutartu

Thank you so so so much!! 💕💕💕 i worked really hard on the aesthetic so I’m glad you like it and I’m glad you like what I write! If you ever have ideas, don’t be afraid to share!

Anyway, onto the notes & matchup (I was really proud of this one 😁😁😁)

WHEN I TELL YOU I IMMEDIATELY HAD AN IDEA, I I M M E D I A T E L Y HAD AN IDEA. I was so proud of myself when i got this lol cause I saw your entry when I woke up, barely skimmed it, and said…

TSUKISHIMA KEI

✧ 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑒𝑡 ✧

Okay okay hear me out

Hot topic (or something similar but I’m American so hot topic)

He was looking to get something for Yamaguchi’s birthday & maybe something for himself because don’t tell me Tsukishima Kei isn’t into anime I know he is

Probably shonen but still

Anyway

You were both reaching for the same thing (yes I’m using THAT trope)

Fortunately for you, there was more than one keychain but still

He was about to get low key defensive like “hey watch it” y’know like

Was in a v short mood

But the second he got the word “hey” out he turned to look at you and just

Froze

And got all embarrassed because look at this beautiful girl he’s standing net to shit he was just cursing you out in his brain

So he’s staring at you with wide eyes and you’re like “oh I’m sorry--you like JJK too? That’s cool”

And he’s stuttering Tsukishima Kei is flustered, everybody

So he’s like “uh yeah kinda I guess I don’t really talk about it a lot cause my friend isn’t into it”

“Well I mean if you ever wanna talk about it we can”

“Really?”

“Yeah, gimme your phone I’ll give you my number. If that’s chill”

“Sure, I guess, yeah”

Akiteru was home that day and hadn’t seen his brother smile this much since he was a kid

Any time he asked though Kei just got all huffy and went to his room

✧ 𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠 ✧

U two make playlists for each other on a regular basis (Spotify playlists w collaboration turned on are your best friend)

They're always killer and hit a little too hard

When you tell him you have a new favorite song, he listens to it on repeat until he knows all the lyrics and can pick on you for saying the wrong lyrics if you ever do

Also because it reminds him of you

He loves that he can be himself around you

Really he does

Like that’s one of his favorite things

He doesn’t have to hide any of his hobbies or really anything about him really and he appreciates it so much

It took a while to get there with him, but once he trusted you 100%, he realized he was in love with you

Love and trust are the same things to him (or at least similar) so he knew he loved you when he realized he really could be himself with you around and probably told you as such

He’s not one to push your boundaries, but just had to tell you so it was probably a text like

“Look I don’t expect you to say this back if you’re not ready for that yet, but you’re so amazing--I need to be honest. I’ve done nothing but stare at the ceiling for an hour and think and just realized how in love with you I am. I really am. Take that as you will.”

And then just straight up DIDN’T ANSWER UNTIL 2 AM THAT NIGHT LIKE “sorry I was at Yamaguchi's” LIKE BRO JUST DROP A BOMB LIKE THAT DAMN

Needless to say, he WAS at Yamaguchi's and left his phone at home but it was because he was too afraid of what you’d say

He got home at 11

He just procrastinated for three hours until he finally answered you back

And when you told him you loved him too, his heart SOARED he proceeded to call yams and squeal like a seven-year-old girl for a half hour

If ur shorter than him he uses your head as an armrest, no exceptions

He does it if you're taller than him too he just goes up on his toes to do it

Anyway

Can and will pick on you for everything

It’s the way he shows his love alright

Cute stationery? It’s tacky and “why do you have this it’s irritatingly adorable”

“You’re irritatingly adorable”

“I’m not adorable”

“Yes you are Tsukki"

Lets you call him Tsukki until you can call him Kei

You have to have a thick skin with him because sometimes it’s hard to tell when he’s being sarcastic or not

If he ever did make you cry or genuinely upset though, he’d tear himself to pieces about it for hours and be completely unresponsive to his phone if you text him because he thinks you hate him

When he finally texts you back he’ll never admit how upset he is, but he will apologize for making you upset

It’s really hard to do emotions with this dude but you try to manage

If you can figure out how to make him talk about his problems “let’s talk about Akiteru” “no”? Yamaguchi will love you forever

You get the best friend approval anyway but you get an extra gold star if you can get him to open up more

Oh and you totally like to show up at games or practice and everyone including Ukai and Takeda love you for it because he tries a little harder so he doesn’t look bad in front of you

It’s like a switch he goes from like 5% to 70% effort but that’s the best he’s giving until it’s game time then he’ll crank it to 100%

✧ 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝐼𝑑𝑒𝑎 ✧

Okay okay but but but but but

Anime dates

Like once a week you two sit and watch anime over discord or smth

You don’t usually talk much but it’s nice to be in each others’ presence

Or close to that

When you can get together it’s that much better

You trade off whose house you’re at every other week, and whoever's visiting picks up snacks on the way

You’ll watch tv, make fun of the characters together, roll your eyes at the sappy moments but lean over to kiss Tsukki anyway

It’s overall a very wholesome scene

But there will be times when he is stressed and tired for whatever reason and he’ll fall asleep

Sometimes he’ll be curled into a little ball on his side of the couch

Sometimes he’ll slouch his head against your shoulder with his arm around your waist

Sometimes he’ll pause the show and pull you down against him and just lay with you for a while

Not even watch tv just

Be happy in each others’ presence

He’ll fall asleep from time to time and you take his glasses off for him

He looks so soft when he’s sleeping and not glaring at people

✧ 𝑍𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑐 𝐼𝑛𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 ✧

Libras, while they may not exactly say it, are romantics. They enjoy little things about romance, however modern, like spontaneous dates and flowers. They initiate clever ideas and Aquariuses are good at adding a different perspective, so prepare for in-depth conversations. On the other hand, Aquariuses tend to be trendsetters, which Libras support wholeheartedly.

✧ 𝐴𝑒𝑠𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐 ✧

✧ 𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ✧

my boy - Billie Eilish

Hug - SEVENTEEN

King of the Clouds - Panic! At The Disco

She’s In The Rain - The Rose

I Can’t Handle Change - Roar

Runners up: Sugawara Koushi, Akaashi Keiji

#✔︎ — announcements #ꕥspenceranswers

8 notes · View notes

feelingfredly · 4 years

Text

Just Remember I Love You

Summary:

Stiles pulled up the playlists and took pictures of them... as he scrolled through, he saw one labeled M&D's song and he was like, Who's M? Derek and someone had a song? Stiles can't stand the thought of Derek and some stranger having a song. And a cheesy 70's love song at that!

Talia loved music. She wasn't a great singer but was always humming and singing and dancing around. She and her husband met at a disco night, of all things, and they were often seen dancing to a scratchy radio in the kitchen late at night after the kids were supposed to be in bed.

There was a song called Just Remember I Love You that she loved. It was "their song" because while wolf life was nice, it wasn't perfect and damn if it wouldn't be better sometimes if there were wolf antidepressants because even Alpha wolves get the blues, and when things were more than she could bear, Paul, her husband, would sing it to her.

After the pups came along Laura heard daddy singing it to mommy and one day when she was sad she came and demanded the "make it better song" so, Talia sang it to her as they danced around the kitchen and it made everything better.

After that, it was the thing to do when someone had hurt feelings, or a broken heart, or was stressed at school--someone would sing Just remember I love you, and it'll be alright... Just remember I love you, more than I can say.

After the fire, Laura tried to sing it to Derek and they both fell apart because nothing was ever going to be alright again.

They listened to other songs together, but not that one... never that one

Time passed until one day Stiles Stilinski let himself into Derek's loft. The wolf was puttering around the kitchen with his battered old smart phone in a coffee cup, letting the cup act as a sound box so there was this echoey music drifting through the loft and Stiles was surprised because this was Camaro guy, with his scruff and leather jacket, listening to 70's soft rock? nah... that's just nuts, dude. But, before he can say anything, Derek was scrambling to turn the phone off and practically ripped Stiles's head off for just barging in without calling first or at least knocking.

A couple months later Stiles was sidelined with a jacked-up knee and was sitting in the Camaro while the others were fighting the MOTW right over there and he was bored and antsy and freaking out, so he poked through everything in the car and there was Derek's phone, so thank God he could at least listen to music or something while his friends were maybe getting eviscerated and he couldn't do anything, and there are only two playlists on the damn thing--of course Derek doesn't have something as useful as Spotify--and one of them was your typical 00's angry music, and the other... was fucking yacht rock, man.

So, when Derek and Isaac pile back in the car Stiles is ramped up on fear and relief, full of asshol-itude and was like, "You need to join the modern age, Sourwolf... The youngest song on your phone can legally drink." and Derek pushed back with, "What, you jealous because you're still getting by on a lousy fake I.D. and All-Star gets laid more than you do?"

But Derek takes the phone and shoves it into his pocket like it's something precious... and Stiles, who is an asshole, but not a stupid asshole, realized that there was something important on that phone.

Derek never took it into fights.

Derek never put it anywhere that it could get hurt.

Derek had another fucking phone.

so, what's the deal with that one?

He can't let the idea go--it eats at him. Why the two phones? Why the freaking beat up second-gen piece of crap that should have been put out to pasture years ago?

So, the next time he was alone and saw the phone he grabbed it--the sucker doesn't even have a lock screen--and he called himself. At least that way he can get the number, right? But it didn’t come up as Derek Hale on his caller ID. It came up as Laura Hale.

Which made a strange sort of sense. If it was Laura's phone, he'd keep it for sentimental purposes, right? Holy fuck, the dude's been paying for his sister's phone the whole time, keeping some little piece of her alive. There are probably messages on that fucker from before the fire.

He's more careful about the phone after that.

He didn't stop watching, though. He popped into the loft unannounced more often. Offered to go make coffee for anyone--everyone--so he could get a little alone time with the phone.

He finally got it one day when Derek was in the shower, so covered in nixie guts that he didn't stop on the way up to grab it like he normally did, and Stiles pulled up the playlists and took pictures of them... and as he scrolled through, he saw one labeled M&D's song and he was like, Who's M? Derek and someone had a song?

It hit him, harder than he could admit comfortably. He knew about Paige, and Kate, and Jennifer, and even Braeden, because... well, they all knew about them, but there's an M now... someone Derek cared enough about to have a song with, and fuck, Derek wasn't supposed to be a romantic... Stiles was a romantic. Stiles wanted to woo someone with flowers and candlelight dinners and in-jokes and a song they could play at their wedding. Derek's just distance and angry eyebrows and that little bit of respect that leaked through occasionally, and gratitude, because fuck, yeah, that's what everyone wanted from the hottest thing they've ever seen, gratitude. He'd pick the slamming up against things over the fucking gratitude every damn day because Derek should know that he didn't got to bat for him because he wanted thanks, he did it because he cared for the bitter bastard, okay? At least when he was angry he looked alive, invested, and he was LOOKING AT STILES and actually seeing him.

Yeah, so bad attention was better than no attention, sue him.

Later when he was alone, he pulled up Spotify and loaded the song, and well... it wasn't what he expected at all.

When there's so much trouble that you wanna cry

The world has crumbled and you don't know why

When your hopes are fading and they can't be found

Dreams have left you waiting, friends have let you down

He listened to the song three times in a row, and by halfway through the third he was wiping away tears, because fuck that's... well, that was a lot.

"It was my mom and dad's song."

The window--the fucking window--was open, and Stiles had been so wrapped up in the song that he hadn't heard Derek and his super-secret wolfy breaking and entering. Stiles was instantly up and deflecting--he didn't mean to pry (he totally did) and what was Derek doing there, and didn't he ever knock, and fuck use the door, and everything he'd ever said when one of the wolves had broken in while he was jerking off, but somehow being caught listening to this seemed even more personal to him.

He couldn't imagine how Derek felt

Derek just stared at him as he stormed and when he wound down and scrubbed the evidence of tears away Stiles just sagged under the scrutiny. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I just... I wanted..."

"You wanted to know.” Derek said, less antagonism in his voice than he had a right to. “You always want to know. That's sort of Stiles distilled."

They stared at each other for a little before Stiles waded in with an apology. He at least owed the wolf that much. "I didn't mean to stir up bad memories, Der. I am sorry."

Derek looked a little distant, like his mind wasn't actually there in the moment, and Stiles bet he looked a lot like that when he was thinking about his mom.

"Not bad,” he said finally. “Just hard sometimes. Good memories, though. It's why I can't let that--" he waved at the computer that was still playing the song on loop--"go."

Stiles nodded. "I get that. I feel that way about my mom's recipes. I can't cook them for dad, but I'll bake the cookies or the bread and remember cooking with her, and then end up giving the stuff away. Mr. Abernathy next door loves it when I get sentimental."

They sat like that for a while until the quiet got to be too much and Derek took off again, leaving Stiles with a little bit more knowledge about the older man, and a lot to think about.

He called Cora the next day. She cried when he told her what happened, and when he apologized to another Hale for stirring things up she yelled at him for hurting her brother, and yelled at the Universe a little, and then cried again as she explained the significance of the song. When she calmed down she asked him to email her the playlist because she was too young to remember the names of the songs and she wanted to listen to them again, and if they cried a little more at that, well neither of them was going to tell anyone.

But… now he knew. He knew what the song meant, what it was for, and he had a plan. It might not be a great plan, but hell, he's had worse.

He didn’t make a move for weeks. He wasn't stupid, and he knew Derek wasn’t either.

He started by playing some 70's music around the house--even getting a laugh out of his dad as he busted out "Do the hustle!" in the kitchen one day as he danced around making a casserole for pack night.

"Your mom and I used to go out dancing all the time.” The sheriff actually smiled at the memory. “She could dance up a storm. You get that from her."

And just like that Stiles had another thing to thank Derek for....

Finally, it was time. He'd been spending more time with the wolf, his spark finding an anchor in the alpha, and he could feel it developing into something like a real pack bond. Derek clearly felt it as well, his shoulders relaxing every time Stiles would get close enough for him to bump against him, subtly scenting his new packmate.

Then it wasn't so subtle. A hand on the head, Stiles rubbing Derek's shoulder, a scruff of the back of the neck... and time. Sitting. Talking. Snarking. But time spent together, alone or with the others, but always together.

And then it was his birthday. 21. Finally legal in all the ways, and finally ready to make that last leap of faith. The ladies at Jungle were thrilled to help, and when everyone asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday, he said "pack night at the club--no excuses" and they gave in, because as much as he was an asshole, he was their asshole

They got there, dressed in their club gear and black leather coats, and Stiles pulled up in his Jeep and rolled out wearing a shirt unbuttoned to his navel that showcased his toned torso, a big gold pendant he'd enchanted the month before for a protection spell but that looked like one of the terrible 70's zodiac sign necklaces, and skin tight pants that flared out into truly terrible bell bottoms. "Oh, didn't I tell you? It's a theme night! Disco, Babies! And I'm the Dancing Queen!"

The pack groaned and then laughed, following the nutcase they'd adopted into the club, listening to the thrum of the music and saying, "Fuck it." before heading to the bar for drinks that their spark would add a little kick to so they could feel a buzz for the night.

Derek gave him a long look, and then another, but just sighed and nodded as Stiles pulled him out onto the packed dance floor.

"Thanks for coming, Sourwolf." He made the appropriate noises, and Derek swayed against him, surprisingly--or not surprisingly, the dude was physicality embodied--a good dancer, and not shy with the hips once he got going.

"Happy Birthday, Stiles," he said, bending down to speak directly into the spark’s ear, "this is the only gift you're getting."

Stiles looked at him from under his lashes and smiled. "It's the only thing I wanted, Der. Really."

They finished their dance and then his best Lady of the Jungle, Brianna Cracker, walked up to the microphone--"We have a special birthday boy in our midst tonight--hey there Little Red, looking good!--" the crowd cheered and Stiles wriggled around in Derek's hold to look at the stage, flailing his arms a little at the attention.

She went on, "He had a special request so he could dance with his boo--or his boo-to-be if he doesn't fuck this up tonight--so everyone wrap their arms around their special someone's and get ready for something slow and sweet. Happy Birthday, Red! We love you!"

And then… the song played.

Derek froze, so like a deer in headlights that Stiles had to bite his lips not to make a joke, but now wasn't the time for jokes. He held out his hand hopefully, and Derek finally thawed enough to take it, wrapping Stiles in an almost painfully tight hug.

"Give me a chance, Sourwolf?" Stiles asked quietly. He felt Derek's head nod once against his neck, and Stiles felt a knot in his gut unravel.

It was going to be alright.

Notes: This fic owes its existence to Sirius XM's Yacht Rock Radio, and Firefall's amazing 70's classic, Just Remember I Love You.

"Just Remember I Love You" by Firefall

When it all goes crazy and the thrill is gone The days get rainy and the nights get long When you get that feelin' you were born to lose Staring at your ceiling thinkin' of your blues

When there's so much trouble that you wanna cry The world has crumbled and you don't know why When your hopes are fading and they can't be found Dreams have left you waiting, friends have let you down

Just remember I love you And it'll be alright Just remember I love you More than I can say Maybe then your blues will fade away

When you need a lover and you're down so low Start to wonder, but you never know When it feels like sorrow is your only friend Knowing that tomorrow you'll feel this way again

When the blues come callin' at the break of dawn Rain keeps fallin', but the rainbow's gone When you feel like crying but the tears won't come When your dreams are dyin', when you're on the run

Just remember I love you And it'll be alright Just remember I love you More than I can say Just remember I love you And it'll be alright It'll be alright It'll be alright It'll be alright

#teen wolf #sterek #derek deserves nice things #stiles is a nice thing #feelings #tooth-rotting fluff #mild hurt/comfort #songfic #derek hale #stiles stilinski

32 notes · View notes

unibrowzz · 3 years

Text

Mod (finally) reviews all 67 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest Part VI: The 00s

So I gave the 2000s a lot of shit back when I was rewatching them, mainly because the contests became much longer now with the introductions of so many more participants that semi finals had to be introduced, and also because the song quality nosedived. With the televote now in full control of who won, all you really needed to do to get a good result was either send somebody well known in your geographical area, and/or send something weird that would stand out amongst 40+ participants.

This is where the illusion of “bloc voting” came from.

So song, quality for the most part, was compromised in favour of either sending an attention-grabbing vote trap or just somebody famous. But that’s enough about the contests overall, how’s about them winners?

2000- Fly on the Wings of Love

Country: Denmark

Artist: Olsen Brothers

Language: English

Thoughts: I wonder how it feels to wait nearly 40 years to win again only to win as a complete surprise with a song 100/1 in the odds. Must be weird. My feelings towards this song are… kinda mixed. It sounds like the kind of song you swear you’ve heard before over a million times, be it in advertisements, on the radio, being played by buskers or bored guitar kids at parties. But at the same time it feels so completely different compared to other winners and, Hell, even other Eurovision songs at the time. It’s a very striking and recognisable song when talking about Eurovision music, sure. It’s very chill, and relaxed, and the singer has a bizarre voice which somehow sounds heavily autotuned even when he’s performing live.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Not really

If no, what is? Sweden- Roger Pontare- “When Spirits are Calling my Name”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 46th

2001- Everybody

Country: Estonia

Artist: Tanel Padar & Dave Benton

Language: English

Thoughts: And this folks, is what you call a guilty pleasure. I avoided this song for a while because I just knew it was objectively terrible. I knew this barely qualified as a song, that most of it was just two mismatched dudes shouting at each other over a disco track, that the lyrics aren’t that great at all… Et cetera. And yet, trashy as it is, I still really like this song. I don’t really know why, maybe it’s my barely-hidden desire to be an obnoxious contrarian, maybe it’s because the chorus has some fairly decent lyrics (especially for an eastern European entry), maybe it’s because it’s catchy… Or maybe because it’s fun, I dunno.

Is this my personal winner for this year? 2001 really sucked tbh

If no, what is? Honestly yeah, this song shreds

Personal ranking (out of 67): 13th

2002: I Wanna

Country: Latvia

Artist: Marie N (Or, Maria Naumova)

Language: English (I think…?)

Thoughts: You want a song which hasn’t aged well? Well here you go. I��m sure this song was MUCH more bearable back in 2002, but listening to it now is just... What on Earth is she even saying?? I don’t think I’ve heard a song with such garbled lyrics before. On my first listen, I couldn’t even distinguish what language this song was in, and when I finally realised it was in English… good Lord, the lyrics are complete nonsense. And the rhyming? It’s non-existent. The funny thing is Marie herself speaks really good English, so why this song sounds like it was run through Google Translate five times and sung by someone who only started learning English 5 minutes ago is beyond me. But enough about the terrible singing, lyrics and butchery of the English language, does this song have anything else going for it? Not really. I’d put this song into the same category as “Diva”, in that it’s trying desperately to be the next big disco track of its decade, but it just never reaches the crescendo it sets out to achieve. It just drunkenly fumbles around until it ends. What a graceful entry.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? United Kingdom- Jessica Garlick- "Come Back"

Personal ranking (out of 67): 59th

2003- Every Way that I Can

Country: Turkey

Artist: Sertab Erener

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the original ethnopop winner. I’m still not 100% sure what ethnopop is, but I’m guessing it’s just slang for the kind of music you’d hear in a gay bar whilst on your holidays. Not that I would know. This is yet another winner where it took me a good few listens to properly enjoy it since I thought the lyrics were a bit… bad. But unlike those other songs, I got into this one way back in (checks playlist) 2014, and I still haven’t managed to fall out of love with it, so to speak. I still really like this song, I’d go as far as to say it’s in my top ten favourite winners in fact. A statement which still hasn’t changed after I watched the 2003 contest recently in July of 2020, so hooray for that. And ethnopop isn’t really a genre I tend to gravitate towards, but I think what makes this song stand out to me at least is how heavy it is. This is a very slow song when you look at its BPM, and the beat just pounds loud and clear all throughout it. It’s not as obnoxious or in-your-face as other songs of its genre, it’s its own thing and that’s what makes it a cut above the rest for me.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 5th

2004- Wild Dances

Country: Ukraine

Artist: Ruslana

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the superior Ukrainian winner. This song is kind of similar to the one above, in that just like “Every Way that I Can” this is a big, stampy dance number, only this time with the distinction that the lyrics were written in 30 seconds rather than a few minutes. It doesn't get lazier than this folks. But I'm willing to forgive lazy lyrics if the song can distract me from them, and thankfully this song can. Plus it’s not like this song needs good lyrics anyway, I get the feeling the focus is more on the beat and instrumental more than anything. And luckily I’m a sucker for that.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 7th

2005- My Number One

Country: Greece

Artist: Helena Paparizou

Language: English

Thoughts: I’ll give you “My Number One crawled so Fuego could run”, more like My Number One won so Fuego could pull up the rear in second place behind a song full of chicken noises. But I’m getting ahead of myself. This song I feel is the one which really popularised that… certain brand of Eurovision song. The female-led, east Meditteranean origin, “Yas queen slay” brand of Eurovision song. Yanno. The true gay bar song. Which is, as I said earlier, not really a genre I like nor care for. Do I like this song? Eh. Kinda. I can’t really bring myself to hate it, since I have some good memories associated with it, but... … Well, I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to it, put it that way. It feels kind of aggressive, and not in a way I’m all that comfortable with. The way she snarls that she’ll “get vicious” if her love isn’t reciprocated especially doesn’t sit right with me. Like I don’t want to be a That Guy™ who says people would get offended if a man sang that line, but it still puts me off a bit.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Hungary- NOX- “Forogj, Viláj!”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 36th

2006- Hard Rock Hallelujah

Country: Finland

Artist: Lordi

Language: English

Thoughts: My mother always asks me “how did this win?” And I always tell her, “Well it’s been nearly 15 years since it won and you still remember it, so clearly it left an impact on people.” So, obviously, this is a gimmicky entry; without the giant monster costumes I highly doubt this would’ve even qualified, let alone won with what was then a record-breaking score. After all, rock/metal songs don’t tend to fare well at this contest. Even with the drunk European public in full control of the vote, most of them are lucky to even make it onto the left side of the scoreboard, and getting into the top ten? Forget it. It's too niche of a genre for it to have broad appeal, especially given how a lot of viewers (in my experience at least) DO tend to be older and more conservative, shall we say. Now, I'm not an expert on rock or metal myself, so I can't really say whether this is a good representation of the genre or whether this is what outsiders THINK it's like, but even to my untrained ear this does sound very tongue-in-cheek. Like I don’t want to go so far as to say this is a parody of metal music, but it definitely doesn’t seem to take itself too seriously. The song, I mean. Apparently the band is very serious about their monster aesthetic; but I digress. That said, I do have a soft spot for whatever sub-genre of metal this is, so I don’t mind this one in the slightest.

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or Croatia

If no, what is? Croatia- Séverina- “Moja Stikla”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 30th

2007: Molitva

Country: Serbia

Artist: Marija Serifovic

Language: Serbian (Translation: “Prayer”)

Thoughts: Ah, this one takes me back. This was one of the first Eurovision songs I remember truly falling in love with way back in 2013. I must’ve been about 16 or 17 at the time, heavily into dark, edgy music, and this song was just pure heaven for me. Ticked all the right boxes. It’s dark, it’s brooding, it’s sultry, the vocals are stellar, the lyrics are incredible; like, I wanted the title of this song tattooed on my wrist, I loved it so damn much, I just wanted to declare to the world that I loved this song. But that was then, how do I feel about it today? Obviously not the same, tastes evolve over time and after a while I wasn’t so easily suckered into this song’s spell like I used to be. But at the same time, I can’t deny that this is a fantastic song across the board, and one I still like despite it being my edgy favourite from back when my taste in music was terrible. Plus this is also the best-sung song of the 2000s, but that’s like being the tallest person in a room full of toddlers.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal Ranking (out of 67): 3rd

2008: Believe

Country: Russia

Artist: Dima Bilan

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes. The song that finally made Terry Wogan quit after 30 years of “commentating”. The song that proved to the people of the UK once and for all that the contest was rigged to favour certain countries and that countries in western Europe would never win again. Was it worth it? Not really, but I’m not complaining. Now, I don't like Wogan's commentary at all, but really? This song? This is the straw that broke the camel’s back? This song isn’t bad per se, it’s just… Very underwhelming. And outdated. Like I can smell the 2000s off this one and it smells like Lynx body spray and hair gel. It's stuck in that awkward phase where it's too old to be cool, but not old enough to be retro, and it’s forever doomed to be a product of its time. It’s just an average, generic, “I have a dream and I can achieve it” pseudo-ballad; nothing outstanding or special. The performance feels very stale and formulaic too. The only way to describe it is it’s what I imagine an American person would THINK a winning Eurovision song would be like based on what they get told by their European pen pals. Dated music, hot Russian men, over the top presentation, like this just reeks of what outsiders (or British people, for that matter) think Eurovision is made of. On a different note, mediocre and dated as this song may be, I can still kinda see how it won (and no, it has nothing to do with Russia’s international relationships). Dima himself is a very… unique performer; one who performs with the questionable energy of an overexcitable children’s YouTuber, and his dramatic and exaggerated movements make this whole performance a bit of a blast to watch. But that doesn’t really save how painfully bland the song is.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Latvia- Pirates- "Wolves of the Sea"

Personal ranking (out of 67): 48th

2009: Fairytale

Country: Norway

Artist: Alexander Rybak

Language: English

Thoughts: I’m not going to lie, my feelings towards this song are incredibly mixed. There’s a lot of appeal here, with wild violin solos, swooping vocals and a pounding beat, as well as a very singalongable chorus; like, this is a good, solid song. But… something here just doesn’t gel with me. This, to me, is one of those “good by default” songs that’s a solid ‘A’ across the board, but something’s just… missing for me. There’s not enough here for me to go out of my way to download and listen to this on a regular basis. It's in the same boat as “Waterloo” in that I don't dislike it, because it’s still a good song, but I can't say I like it either, because it’s such a default "best Eurovision song”, so I can’t sincerely say I like it. Am I making sense? Probably not. But basically my thoughts are “it’s good, but it’s not my kind of good.”

Is this my personal winner for this year? Ehhhhhh

If no, what is? Germany- Alex Swings, Oscar Sings- “Miss Kiss Kiss Bang”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 29th

#final round tomorrow ayyy #eurovision #mod's winner reviews #esc winners

5 notes · View notes

dragonheart-swtor · 4 years

Text

OC Playlist Meme

Thanks so much to @thehighground for tagging me in this!! You’ve activated my Song Analysis Backlog trap card

I’ll tag @elaphaemourra, @sith-shenanigans, @opalxempress, and @swtorpadawan - and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it!

I don’t have a good screenshot of her in-game so y’all get the character select screen

♦️ ERISINE GANNE ♦️

♦️ Their intro theme: Everything Moves by Bronze Radio Return

“Ramble on, chug along, And if the beat stops thumping, man, then something’s wrong. Ignore it son, it's just a song, But I can see your white-knuckled hand from holding on. So lately I, wonder why, we rely, on the sure thing- It's too damn comforting. To stay alive, overdrive, ‘til we find something new To keep the pulse alive in you.”

♦️ Their own favorite song: Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy

When Rome's in ruins, We are the lions, free of the Colosseums. In poison places, we are anti venom, We're the beginning of the end. Tonight, the foxes hunt the hounds, It's all over now, Before it has begun- We've already won.

♦️ Their boss battle theme: False Pretense by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

“All along you know you thought you got the best of me, You were wrong and I'm laughing right in your face. I cannot believe you claimed you were my family, Don't sweat it- Set a false pretense.”

(Song That Might Play When You Fight Sans from Undertale was honestly a very close runnerup. I mostly chose False Pretense instead because of lyrics.)

♦️ Their love song: Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips

“So I will do it for you, for you. Baby, I'm not moving on, I'll love you long after you're gone. For you, for you. You will never sleep alone, I'll love you long after you're gone, And long after you're gone, gone, gone.”

♦️ Their sad times song: iRobot by Jon Bellion

I am a robot, thoughtless and empty. Don't know who sent me, don't know who made me. Electric robot, everything's gray now, Numb to the pain now, I knew what love was - Now when they ask me, I just reply slow And sound like an iPhone: I do not know love, I am a robot.

♦️ A song that fits their aesthetic: Midnight City by M83

“Waiting for a word (Word), Looking at the milky skyline (Skyline), The city is my church (The city is my church), It wraps me in its blinding twilight (Twilight).”

♦️ A song that reminds them of a better time: Oh, What A Life by American Authors

But I tried so hard, but we killed our hearts, In valleys low, I hear the trumpets blow, Yeah, I tried so hard, yet I'm lost and scarred. And I'm filled with regret yet I sing, And we laughed oh, and we cried and thought, Oh, what a life. And we laughed oh, and we cried and thought, Oh, what a life.

♦️ A song that calms them down: In Our Bedroom After the War by Stars

“Lift your head and look out the window, Stay that way for the rest of the day and watch the time go. Listen, the birds sing. Listen, the bells ring. All the living are dead, and the dead are all living. The war is over and we are beginning.”

♦️ A song that gets them hyped up: Born For This by The Score

“We are the warriors who learned to love the pain, We come from different places, but have the same name, 'Cause we were, 'cause we were, 'cause we were, 'Cause we were born for this, we were born for this! We are the broken ones who chose to spark a flame, Watch as our fire rages; our hearts are never tame, 'Cause we were, 'cause we were, 'cause we were, 'Cause we were born for this, we were born for this!”

♦️ Spring: Towards the Sun by Rihanna

“Turn your face towards the sun, Let the shadows fall behind you. Don't look back, just carry on, And the shadows will never find you.”

♦️ Summer: C’mon by Panic! At The Disco

If I should die tonight, May I first just say I'm sorry, for I Never felt like anybody, I am a man of many hats, Although I never mastered anything. When I am ten feet tall, I never felt much smaller. Since the fall, nobody seems to know my name, So don't leave me to sleep all alone, May we stay lost on our way home!

♦️ Autumn: Oh My Dear by Tenth Avenue North

“Oh, my dear, I'll wait for you. Grace tonight will pull us through. Until the tears have left your eyes, Until the fears can sleep at night. Until the demons that you're scared of disappear inside, Until this guilt begins to crack, And the weight falls from your back, Oh, my dear, I'll keep you in my arms tonight.”

♦️ Winter: As Long As You Love Me by Sleeping At Last

“Loneliness has always been a friend of mine, I'm leaving my life in your hands. People say I'm crazy and that I am blind, Risking it all in a glance. And how you got me blind is still a mystery, I can't get you out of my head. I don't care what is written in your history, As long as you're here with me.”

♦️ The song that plays while they’re lying on the ground bleeding out in a Walmart: Take On Me by a-ha

“Take on me (Take on me) Take me on (Take on me) I'll be gone In a day or two”

♦️ The song that would play each morning if they’re stuck in a time loop: Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

“Feel the rain on your skin, No one else can feel it for you, Only you can let it in. No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips. Drench yourself in words unspoken, Live your life with arms wide open, Today is where your book begins, The rest is still unwritten.”

♦️ The song they’d listen to while robbing a Wendy’s: Mamma Mia by ABBA

“Mamma mia, here I go again, My my, how can I resist you? Mamma mia, does it show again? My my, just how much I've missed you.”

♦️ The song they’d accidentally introduce to people in medieval times if they were a time traveller: Fireflies by Owl City

“I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, 'Cause everything is never as it seems.”

♦️ The song they’d play in the middle of the night when their neighbors are being too loud: I’ve No More Fucks To Give by Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq., Damian Clark

“I've no more fucks to give, My fucks have runneth dry. I've tried to go fuck shopping but there's no fucks left to buy! I've no more fucks to give, Though more fucks I’ve tried to get. I’m over my fuck budget, and I'm now in fucking debt!”

♦️ The song that plays at their funeral: When The Darkness Comes by Colbie Caillat

“I'll be here waiting, Hoping, praying that This light will guide you home. When you're feeling lost, I'll leave my love, Hidden in the sun, For when the darkness comes. For when the darkness comes.”

♦️ The song that plays when it’s revealed that they faked their death: Army by Zayde Wolf

“The time is now, Going kamikaze, Won't back down. You can bring your army, You can bring your army, You can bring your army, But your army can't bring me down.”

#star wars #swtor #swtor ocs #imperial agent #erisine #my ocs #oc playlist meme #music

3 notes · View notes

izzy-b-hands · 5 years

Text

I Can Hear Music

Modern AU Sledgefu is go!

Playlist for this fic can be found here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5KzkeIXXwi5zUm5a9JvXp7

in case anyone wants to listen as they read! Songs are in order as they are mentioned/sort of referenced in the fic, because if they were out of order I’d literally not be able to handle it lol.

Also, did a bit of historical tweaking here-they’re still soldiers, still Marines, but considering this is a fic focusing on them settling back in after being shipped out, having fun and being happy and in love, I didn’t go into detail as to where exactly they’d been shipped out to for this au. If I write another piece for this au to go with this one, then I promise I’ll get that all figured out and in proper detail for y’all. For now, this is just a lot of good music, dancing, and also some smut.

Thanks to all who read/like/reblog! Hopefully you’ll like this one-be gentle lol.

Clubs weren’t necessarily his thing. He didn’t mind them, even liked them some nights, but he always felt a little bit awkward at them.

Snafu didn’t have that problem though. He was there to have fun and dance, and he didn’t let anyone get in the way of that. He also helped relieve some the anxiety of the whole experience-there was no way to feel too awkward or unnerved when Snafu was dancing with him, grinning brighter than the sun.

And they went anywhere-to clubs more industrial, some straight up disco, others a mix of everything from the hardest sounding songs to pop dance tracks.

But this night was different. Snafu had insisted they leave earlier, because he wanted to stay out even later than usual. But it was weird to be dancing in the club when the sun was still shining in through the windows.

“I’m gonna get you to loosen up, before the sun goes down. Little bit of sunlight shouldn’t stop you from havin’ fun,” Snafu said, pulling him onto the dance floor of the first club while Body Language played loud. The floor wasn’t quite empty, but it also wasn’t as full as he usually wanted it before he felt able to go out and dance.

“Eugene, c’mon. I know you love this song-don’t let me down, lover boy,” Snafu was as close as he could get, hips grinding, feeling the beat like it lived in him every day.

He tried to ignore everyone else, and focused solely on Snafu. He was fluid, able to shift with the songs easier than Eugene figured anyone could. Body Language slipped into Action This Day (he figured it was Queen night at the club-most of the places they frequented had one such night, at least once a month if not more, which was part of the reason why they frequented said clubs) then to Staying Power.

And with that he had no choice but keep his full attention on Snafu. The club could have been rocked by an earthquake, but he wouldn’t have noticed with Snafu singing the song at him as he danced, smiling in a way that Eugene could only describe as utterly delicious.

Little things like that usually sent them home early-after a certain point, the teasing got to be too much. But this was early in the night-he’d have to match Snafu’s teasing if he wanted to make it through the night without dragging him home to bed. Snafu occasionally hit that point and was the one doing the dragging, but not nearly as often as Eugene. It would be a point of pride to drive him crazy enough that he’d be the one to cut things short.

The club dropped things down a bit as the dance floor emptied a bit-he figured most were hitting the bar. My Love is Dangerous was just the right beat he needed though. Just slow enough to justify grabbing Snafu by the hips every now and again to pull him close, and wind his fingers down to rest playfully against the waistband of his black jeans.

From there, the floor started to busy up again, and a new favorite of theirs came on . He didn’t speak the language, so he couldn’t understand it, and though he couldn’t pronounce the name of it (he’d had the club DJ write it down for him- Hatrið mun sigra by an Icelandic group) he found himself in love with it. It was fast and loud and intense enough that even with the sun streaming in, he found the confidence to dance like it was pitch-black inside. Whether that was good or bad, he wasn’t entirely sure, but he figured he didn’t dance worse than anyone else.

Another song (Spillingardans-he could remember the name of that one a bit better, for some reason) by the same band came on after, and as much as he wanted to keep dancing he found himself dying of thirst. Snafu was already on the same page, taking him by the hand and gently leading him through the growing crowd to the bar.

“Start out with water. No gettin’ drunk till we get to the end of the night,” Snafu yelled over the pulsating music.

“You plannin’ a marathon tonight or somethin’?” Eugene asked as the next song, X, started up. It had a few quieter moments that made it easier to talk, and shout their order to the horribly busy bartender. “How many places are you planning on taking me?”

“Let’s try for double-digits tonight,” Snafu replied with a mischievous grin. “Think you got it in you?”

He had plenty of thoughts in regards to what he had in him, as well as what he wanted to have in him by the end of the night. But he just nodded, and downed the water.

“What say we hit the place next door after this next song?” Snafu shouted as the song started.

“Sure. This place already got you feelin’ worn out, you need the break?” Eugene teased.

Snafu rolled his eyes, smiled, dropped payment for the drinks in the bartender’s hand, and pulled him back into the crowd.

It was a little bit easier now, with the club starting to fill up and the sun finally going down. But it also made leaving a pain in the ass.

“You may as well unbutton a bit too-only gonna get warmer,” Snafu said once they were out in the cooling evening air as he unbuttoned the tropical-themed short-sleeve shirt he was wearing.

“Could-but maybe I want someone else to do it for me,” he replied, and enjoyed the blush that made its way across Snafu’s face.

Inside the next club, it was like they’d jumped back to the start of the first club’s playlist. But he didn’t mind-Living on My Own was another one they spent a decent amount of time bouncing around the house, singing along to-neither of them could match the scatting portion of the song, however. And it was nice to change the pace up again, to have a song playing that gave him a moment to let a hand linger on Snafu’s hip, or up the back of his now open shirt to rest on the small of his back. It was the little things that seemed to really get at Snafu, to make him stare at Eugene hungrily, with enough energy and intensity behind his eyes that it was unsettling in the best way.

It wasn’t even mid-way through Back Chat when Snafu started to get antsy. He pulled him in for a kiss, hard, his hands gently but quickly opening the first few buttons of the white, loose, short-sleeved button-up Eugene wore.

When they broke apart, Eugene smiled. “What happened to double-digits? You really gonna drag me home now?”

Snafu smiled right back. “Nah. Just givin’ you a taste of what you’re gonna get later. But you’re gonna have to wait till we’re at those double-digits before you get the full meal, if you catch my meaning.”

He did, and it was a killer thought. But this was truly a bit of friendly competition now, and he wasn’t about to lose at club #2.

He unbuttoned a few more of his buttons as Stop All the Fighting started up, fast and smooth, and watched as Snafu’s eyes trailed down his chest to watch his fingers work.

First Time He Kissed a Boy beat through the sound system right after, and it took him back-it had been playing the night they’d gotten back, over a year ago now. The idea had been that Snafu would drive him home, then return to New Orleans. They’d danced around their feelings for each other carefully while they were away, in part due to the other Marines, but because (as they would both admit later) they were afraid of hurting one another.

But that night, in Snafu’s car, barely out of New Orleans, this song had come on, and it was like a dam broke. They’d ended up pulling over in the back parking lot of a truck stop, unable to keep their hands off of each other. It had been a fever, which broke after and left them not just happily satisfied, but finally able to admit their feelings properly.

At that point, he’d told Snafu to turn back around, and he’d been living in New Orleans with Snafu ever since. The one nice thing about the city was how many clubs and bars it had that let them make a night of this-dancing and relaxing and not worrying about anything but having fun and each other. He was still getting used to it, but any city would have been fine with him, so long as Snafu was there with him.

A Childish Gambino song followed, with a beat that let him pull Snafu close again, to grind and press a few quick kisses to his neck. He occasionally worried about being so affectionate while on the dance floor, but a quick look around showed him that if anything they were still being fairly polite.

The playlist fell into pop then, but he was only half paying attention to what was playing. Watching Snafu sweat and sway was mesmerizing, and damn him if he didn’t know it.

He kept tossing Eugene shit-eating smiles with half-lidded glances, biting at his lower lip in the way that he knew made him weak in the knees. It took all his energy not to pull Snafu to a back hall and kiss him until he was breathless.

“The place down the road?” he shouted suddenly, just audible over the heartbeat drumming of White Teeth Teens.

“Sure. You gonna lead us out?” Eugene asked, suddenly aware of the very sizable crowd around them.

Snafu grabbed his hand, kissed it, then carefully pulled them free of the crowd and out to the street. The cool air was a shock, but nice all the same, and it made the warmth of Snafu’s hand in his all the more noticeable.

They were nearly to the next club when Snafu pulled him into a slightly secluded corner. “We aren’t goin’ home yet. I just can’t go in there without doin’ this.”

His lips were warm too, as he kissed Eugene like his very life depended on it. The strains of Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy playing in the little hole-in-the-wall bar near them floated by, and he had to smile in between the kisses. It was another one that Snafu sang at him often, usually at random while making dinner or something else mundane. It had eventually led to that as one of their nicknames for each other-and had also led to a few burned dinners, after they’d gotten ‘distracted’ after the song had finished.

It was incredibly hard to pull away, especially as Get Down, Make Love started up next. He simultaneously loved and cursed the bar for that, and Snafu took his moment of sighing in frustration to gently bite at his neck, turning the sigh into a gasp.

“You sure you’re gonna make it to another club?” he teased.

Snafu licked at the spot he’d bit and grinned. “Could ask you the same thing.”

After another moment, they’d composed themselves enough to make it to club #3, which was well into the throes of the night. He recognized the song playing as they walked in as one from the same Icelandic band being played at the first club, and let himself melt into the song and the crowd, pulling Snafu gently behind him towards the center of the dance floor.

The crowd at this one were pushy, but he didn’t mind. It meant that Snafu was essentially forced to be right up against him, and he could tease to his heart’s content. Had Snafu told him to stop, he would have of course, but he clearly wasn’t interested in stopping it. He leaned back into Eugene, letting his head fall back against his shoulder and exposing his neck to the gentle touches and kisses Eugene put there.

However, their second song at that club was only just over, and suddenly Snafu was pulling him to the bar, ordering them water again. They both downed them quickly, and then Snafu was pulling him back outside. They were barely into an empty alley before Snafu was on him again, moaning and grabbing at the buttons of Eugene’s shirt until it was open, then running his hands over Eugene’s chest.

He stopped Snafu as he softly cupped his face in his hands. “Double-digits?”

“I’m not givin’ up yet,” Snafu replied, pressing his hips as close to Eugene’s as he could get. “But yeah, I don’t know that we’ll make that goal. Maybe we can get to five.”

“That’s at least two more clubs,” Eugene replied, rolling his hips to Snafu’s, watching as Snafu blushed and moaned, dropping his head to Eugene’s shoulder. “Why don’t we walk for a bit, then head into another. See if we can make it that far.”

Snafu nodded, and they made their way back out to the street. Pop music spilled out of various other clubs they passed, some slower, some faster, but all of it feeling like it fit in perfectly with the night and Snafu’s hand wrapped around his, their skin cool as the sweat dried onto it.

The next club had retro night going on-Two of Hearts blared as they walked in, and it was his turn to make Snafu blush, singing the song at him as they moved to the dance floor.

“You’re driving me wild, you know that?” he murmured, his lips literally next to Eugene’s ear as they danced close.

“That’s the idea darlin’,” Eugene murmured back, moving his lips down from Snafu’s ear to press a kiss just behind it. “And you still got one more club to get through to make your goal of five.”

Love Kills came on, and gave them a chance to dance close, but with a bit of space, and strangely enough the break worked. It made him all the more eager to get his hands back on Snafu, and from the glances Snafu was shooting his way he felt the same.

The club had moved to faster rock, with Let Me Entertain You. But that was fine too-that one being sung at him made Snafu blush even more than Two of Hearts, particularly Freddie’s lines in the first bit of the song. He figured Snafu knew exactly how he meant those words, and he could only imagine what after-club scenarios Snafu had running through his head.

He had to laugh as Snafu pulled him out of the club as the song ended. “One more club. And we gotta stay for more than one song.”

Snafu pulled him into the very next club they walked past, and it was like someone was watching over them in terms of playlist. Dancer was playing, and he happily let Snafu drag him onto the dance floor.

They were close as could be again, and he had to gently tap Snafu’s shoulder once or twice when he got a bit overly handsy. The crowd was big, but there was still a chance someone might notice how Snafu had undone not just the button of his jeans, but the button on Eugene’s jeans as well.

“This song is so long,” Snafu sighed into his ear, barely audible.

“It isn’t even four minutes long, darlin’,” Eugene replied. But at the same time, he got it. He could barely wait to get Snafu home, but he wasn’t going to break the rule he had set up. They had to get through one more song.

He hadn’t heard the next song before-it was slower, and gorgeous. A nearby crowd member dropped the artist name-Tyler, the Creator, and he made a note to look it up the next day. It was just fast enough with a good beat, that left Snafu alternating between bringing his hips close, then swaying away, but always keeping one of Eugene’s hands in his.

It was also long. Halfway through, he couldn’t hold back. He pulled Snafu in for a kiss, and knew they were going to head home.

There was no music aside from more random pop and rap strains floating into the street as they worked to get home. It was a longer than usual trip, with interruptions to find secluded corners to get in a kiss or a roaming hand. By the time they were up the stairs of their apartment, Snafu had ripped his shirt off and was working on Eugene’s as well.

They nearly tripped over their cat, Delilah, as they came in, attached at the hips and the lips, not really paying attention to where they were going after the door was shut and locked behind them.

After a few trips and near misses, they made it into the bedroom, and disrobed like it was their life’s mission. There was no time for more foreplay-hell, the whole night had been foreplay. He managed to grab the lube from their bedside table while Snafu kissed and left hickies on his neck and chest, moaning wantonly, loud enough he figured the neighbors could probably hear.

“Get yourself inside of me,” he told Snafu, tossing him the lube once he’d come up for air.

“With pleasure,” Snafu sighed.

Snafu working him open was always a gift. He had a way with his hands that Eugene couldn’t quite explain, but it always left him a begging mess.

Finally, Snafu was inside and he pondered if he was already as close to finishing as he was.

A moment later, he got his answer in the form of Snafu no longer able to properly enunciate, just moaning and groaning with a smile on his face as he moved his hips.

He didn’t time how much longer they made it, just let himself drift into the pleasure of Snafu inside him and against him, until he came.

He knew he was moaning too loudly as he did, but he didn’t really care-let the neighbors enjoy the audio show that was his full-body orgasm. He was left so blinded and out of it after that he only just registered when Snafu came, with the sweetest strangled groan, then murmured ‘I love you’s’ in between kisses pressed to his stomach and chest.

Neither of them were able to get up and grab anything to clean with, which made Eugene suddenly happy for Snafu’s habit of tossing a towel near the bed, just in case. They cleaned up just enough, then fell into sleep, warm against each other.

The next morning, Eugene woke up to music playing. As he got up and went out to the kitchen and living room, and smiled at the sight waiting for him.

Snafu, half dressed in pajama pants, making them breakfast, singing along to Freddie Mercury’s cover of I Can Hear Music. He turned, and motioned for Eugene to come closer as he sang to him, pulling him into a lazy almost-waltz, just quick enough to match the music. He didn’t want the song to end-it was a perfect moment, soft and warm, just like Snafu’s lips on his.

Without a word, Snafu danced them over to his phone, and tapped the screen until it set the song to replay. The toast might burn a bit, but it was worth it, to keep dancing and holding each other.

#text post #LeeH writes #Sledgefu #in terms of sleep I am as they say fucked #but it was so worth it #I love this fic so much I'm glad I went for it #happy boys dancing and in love and having a good time #makes my heart sing

17 notes · View notes

flappy-spookster · 5 years

Text

The Bizarre Road Trip Of A Missing Family by @icantwritegood (ao3) - (68,014 words) “A hunt for a missing family + one determined detective + one ex-conman + past beef = one hell of a road trip.”

This is one of the best fics I have ever read and if you haven’t read it yet, please do. Everything by this author is seriously amazing but this fic is one of my all time favorites (from any fandom) and I cannot express how good it is. There are so many amazing characters, scenarios, plot twists, and details that all come together to make a compelling story. There is a second part already out and completed (i’ve already started it, it’s amazing as well) and I can’t wait to see where this goes. All of that being said, I am so enamored with this fic that I made a playlist that I will explain further under the cut. If you haven’t read the fic, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER BECAUSE EVERYTHING FROM HERE ON OUT CONTAINS EXPLICIT SPOILERS.

Music is something that’s very important to me and helps me to better put my ideas together, and this fic really inspired me to try to put together something that represents this fic. In this post I’m going to explain why I chose each song and how it fits into the plot. I love symbolism, so I’m super excited to share everything that I put into this. I would recommend listening to each song as you read the analysis to get the Vibe. I’ve never explained my thoughts like this, so hopefully it goes well.

1. “Gossip” by Sleeping With Sirens

I chose this song for the beginning of the fic because it captures a lot of the tension and chaos that enters when Shane comes back into the picture for the case, but also has some underlying themes that continue throughout the whole thing.

“I wanna live fast, I wanna die free My blood is pumping, why can't you feel my heartbeat?“

This lyric really captures the chaotic energy that Shane brings into this whole situation right off the bat, especially “I wanna die free” because in the end I think that he’s just the type of person who needs to be in charge of a situation and needs to get free.

“To play the game, honey, you have got to roll the dice I could be bad luck, you might be crazy Yeah, I've got 9 lives, you only have 3 You're like my technique, I'm on a winning streak So watch that pretty mouth before you go and try to speak”

Once again, these lines have big Shane energy. It shows his need to be in charge of the situation, how he wants to control Ryan, and honestly just his outlook on the situation. It shows a little of how he has this sort of superiority over Ryan (real or not) and how he is convinced that he will be able to rule the situation. Also shows how Shane “taunts” Ryan.

2. “Chasing Rainbows” by Bring Me The Horizon

I mainly chose this song because it captures the near hysterical “hate” and competition between Ryan and shane at the beginning. It fits especially well with the whole finding a hotel situation as well as what occurs over the next few days (I think days, it may have just been one, time is hard).

“Are we just dreaming in the city that never sleeps? 'Cause I can't be seeing what my eyes tell me Am I just dreaming? This can't be in my veins Everything I ever knew will never be the same”

These lines capture both of their initial reactions to the whole, “wtf they’re actually super hot what” moments they have.

“Yeah, I feel it in my blood I can't fight this anymore I've given up”

I would count this as the moment where Ryan gives up on everything and just walks out the door only to have Shane pull him back in. It covers the defeat (and passion) they both feel in that moment.

3. “Feel Something” By Jaymes Young

Okay so this is one of my favorite artists and I struggled a lot to decide which song of his to use for this. If you want to get some really good kinda chill vibes but with a lot of darker undertones, this is your guy. I chose this song for their night in the hotel because everything about it just fits. I would highly recommend looking through all of the lyrics if you’re interested because they could all apply.

“Touch me someone I'm too young to feel so Numb, numb, numb, numb You could be the one to Make me feel something, something (2x) Show me that you're human, ohh”

I think this is fairly self explanatory, they both just really need to get it out of their systems. It also works because Shane has just gotten out of prison (and I am by no means saying that he wasn’t doing the same thing to people in there as he was outside) and is just now seeing Ryan in this new light and they both really need to work through this.

“I never thought I'd miss the bittersweet I gave those years away”

This could refer not only to the 3 years Ryan spent trying to get Shane but also to the time Shane spent working against Ryan. It also pulls in the way they both have this weird sort of nostalgia for the chase.

4. “Ignorance” by Paramore

This entire album (brand new eyes) captures a lot of the intensity and conflicting emotions that come with this fic and i would have used everything on here if I could. I chose this song because it captures of lot of the anger that they both feel.

“If I'm a bad person, you don't like me Well, I guess I'll make my own way It's a circle, a mean cycle”

Throughout the whole fic Shane constantly brings up the whole “was anything I really did that terrible thing and this just gets that. It also brings in how he’s kind of just using this to get out.

“What's my offense this time?“

Pretty straightforward, but I mean the literal crimes he was charged with and how he’s constantly taunting Ryan.

“I guess I'll go I'd best be on my way out“

This brings in how he’s literally leaving and that whole situation.

5. “Mama” by My Chemical Romance

If you don’t follow my main blog or haven’t guessed it yet, I’m a big fan of that emo shit and love those bands and nobody does it better than My Chemical Romance. This song has good vibes, good lyrics, good style, all of it, for this fic. It captures the feelings of betrayal but also just flat out chaos surrounding Shane leaving and abandoning Ryan in the middle of the road.

“Mama, we all go to hell”

One of the recurring lines throughout the song, this song really just captures the absolute insanity in all the shit going down. It also ties into Shane’s attitude to the whole situation.

“Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry Mama, we're all gonna die“

Hints at the underlying feelings that still remain despite everything that’s going on.

6. “Miss Jackson” by Panic! at the Disco

This song just gives off some vibes that I feel with the whole fallout.

“You've got them wrapped around your finger Watch them fall down”

This brings in the other characters/Shane’s “friends” from before prison and how Ryan plans to take them out before Shane can get to them.

“Found another victim But no one's going to find Miss Jackson”

Refers to how Shane has taken advantage of so many people, including Ricky (and Ryan, but not quite the same, you know), but nobody has ever really made him feel the effects of that (yet).

7. “Novocaine” by Fall Out Boy

This whole song has a lot of the same intensity/energy/passion as the fic and that’s really why I chose it to put in here, but there’s also song good lyrics.

“I’m just a problem that doesn't want to be solved“

This is literally just Shane throughout the entire fic, but after Shane leaving him Ryan really wants to make him pay.

“So don’t stop, don't stop till your heart goes numb Now I’m just numb I don’t feel a thing for you”

How Ryan is repressing those feelings and just really wants to catch Shane and redeem himself but also just wants him to be held responsible.

8. “God Damn Liar” by Get Scared

This song is pretty loaded and there’s a lot to look at here. Overall, the passion and anger in here pretty much sums up there entire relationship tbh.

“You'll never take me alive Cause god knows you've tried I once was blind but now I see the light Maybe I should cut my wrists You know I've never been fucked like this You've ripped my heart apart You know who you are”

This is a pretty long chunk, but I think the whole thing really just sums up their whole situation. They’re both wrestling with their feelings, and both really caught off guard by how much they enjoy everything that’s going on. It also is there for the turning point where Ryan and Shane are on the phone (all of the content in this fits for that part) only for Ryan to reveal that his team is almost to Shane’s location and the betrayal he felt.

“You're a god damn liar I don't want to care Like I want to care“

This sums up how they’re both caught between overwhelming hate and some much softer emotions here. But throughout it all Ryan still really fucking hates Shane.

9. “Careful” by Paramore

This song has so much in it that I like in relation. Overall, it captures a lot of the feelings but also the situation. One of my favorites for this in the end. After putting together a rough draft of everything I wanted in here I realized that I had more Paramore songs (all from the same album) than I really wanted but they all just work so well.

“A twisted up frown Disguised as a smile, well You would have never known I had it all But not what I wanted“

Works both ways, but I see this lyric more in relation to Shane and how he had been free but now has realized that maybe he’s in a little deeper than he thought. It also works really well for Ryan as he realizes that even though he’d worked so hard to put Shane in jail, maybe he’d be much happier with him

“The truth never set me free So, I did it myself“

Shane literally set himself free, it’s pretty straightforward. Also works with the whole “say you thought my sentence was unfair” debacle.

10. “The Last One” by Black Veil Brides

This song fits a lot for the whole competition to see who will apologize first. Honestly, this song is pretty self explanatory as well.

“All the love all the hate, feel like one in the same“

I think this is pretty much their entire relationship honestly, but could also be used as a reference to the time before this case.

“I swear this time is gonna be the last one Gonna be the last one, oh woah ho“

Refers to how they’re both so sure that they can just get out of this if they just do it one more time. Captures a lot of the tension between the two of them.

11. “It’s Not A Fashion Statement, It’s A Deathwish” by My Chemical Romance

Things are heating up with Ricky and Shit Is Going Down. Full of anger and emotions, I’m not sure this is the best song for this part but if you want to get that intense anger, sadness, and passion just go listen to the whole three cheers for sweet revenge album.

“This hole you put me in wasn't deep enough And I'm climbing out, right now You're running out of places to hide from me“

A little reference to how Shane used Ricky and the anger and betrayal Ricky still harbours over their whole situation and how he wants Shane to pay for that.

“When you go Just know that I will remember you“

A little reference to those good ol’ feelings hanging in there. With what comes next, these words fit. However, it also brings in the way Ricky felt after he realized that Shane was already gone for Ryan.

12. “The Two Tongues (Screaming Salvation)” by As It Is

I agonized over what song to put here, and in the end settled on this one, but there’s any number that could go here and I’m still not sure if this one is perfect. Capturing the sheer pain Shane felt over leaving Ryan there is not easy and I’m not sure if this song does it justice, but at least a few lyrics do.

“Until the very end us dying hand-in-hand Death is whispering his answers to my fears But with consequence I'd have to leave you here”

Captures how conflicted Shane is over what to do. He thought that maybe, just maybe, him and Ryan would be able to work things out somehow but now he’s forced to either leave him behind or face the consequences.

“When I think of him there's comfort in the cold He gives me solace when I offer him control Her voice so beautiful will find me and explain That life is agony but worth it all the same“

Oh boy those soft feelings are back and Shane is suddenly torn between everything he’s worked for and the police officer who’s been trying to throw him in jail. A little reference for his need to control the situations, but also how he wants a little more than he’s been able to fully except in the realm of feelings. Also the fact that Ryan is literally in agony and Shane is kind of struggling here with dealing with that but he has to go to live.

“I'm not sure I'm right But I'm not sure I'm wrong I’m just desperate to belong“

Everything just got way harder when feelings got involved and Shane is having a Very Bad Time of it.

13. “The Only Exception” by Paramore

It’s sad boy hours over here for both of them. When Shane left, things kind of went to hell emotion wise. This whole song is a great one if you want to just cry over all of the lost potential and romance because boy is it Rough when you start applying the lyrics.

“And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist But, darling You are the only exception”

Things are Not Going Well and Shane cannot deal, but Ryan can’t deal either. This song is for both of them. For Shane, that breakdown on the plane is when most of this comes into play. For Ryan, things come later.

“Maybe I know, somewhere Deep in my soul, that love never lasts”

A reference to all of the brief “relationships” Shane has had in the past leading up to him thinking that maybe this was just how things were going to be.

“And up until now, I had sworn to myself That I'm content with loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk“

This one’s for Shane because he’s put himself in a position where he thought that things were just going to be what they were but now that he’s finally found someone he really fucking likes he’s a cop and everything is very complicated and suddenly the risk seems so much more worth it but it’s too late.

“I've got a tight grip on reality But I can't, let go of what's in front of me here“

Another thing that’s mostly for Shane. He has to let go of Ryan and it’s fucking tearing him apart.

this is so long i am so sorry I hope this shows what I was going for when I made the playlist. I’m not always the best with putting my thoughts into words, but I hope you guys can at least see what I was going for.

also, some songs that don’t quite fit into the playlist but i associate with the fic:

“Dark On Me” by Starset

“Props and Mayhem” by Pierce the Veil

“The Reaper” by As It Is

“Hourglass” by Motionless In White

“Fragments” by Jaymes Young

“Tied Down” by Jaymes Young

#this is so long i am seriously so sorry #music #playlist #mine #icantwritegood #road trip #the bizzare road trip of a missing family #fanfic #recommended reads

7 notes · View notes

tessxscott · 5 years

Text

Ohmygoodness people. Just, ohmygoodness. Tonight was my show and my meet and greet and it was SO GOOD

I was so so nervous leading up to this about not making the most of the moment, and not really enjoying it and like, BEING there. And there were definitely moments in the show when I could have been more present but like...okay let me start over.

We got there, and because I had a bit of a strugg getting my meet and greet tickets, i was worried that there was going to be an issue with the tickets, but ALL WAS GOOD and we were there and in our seats on time (so no repeat of the stupid ACC), and I was just BEAMING the whole time, and like dancing in my seat and talking a mile a minute, and was just so fucking happy, i can’t even tell you. The show itself was so, so fun and gorgeous, and i got emotional on more than one occasion. I tried real hard to avoid spoilers as much as possible so that i could just enjoy the show for what it was and i’m really glad i did. Like Weapo’s first performance was absolutely WOW and one of my faves of the whole thing for sure and Meaghan and Eric made me emotional and CHIDDY skated PHANTOM and Chels and I were jamming. Seeing Moulin Rouge live will never not be absolutely incredible, I sang like the whole time and just died and felt like crying. Their beautiful group number that was a tribute back to Canada for sure made me solidly emotional before intermission lol. I was also obsessed with the videos talking about skaters before they came on, and absolutely loved how everyone talked about Chiddy and also those tiny kids who talked about Meagan and Eric was a lot for my soul.

And then the second half was just a friggen JAM. The flash mob was so so fun (even though everyone around me was being a stick in the mud), and ohmygod guys. the dance off. I can’t even. before i go into thirst mode. Meagan hosting was SO FUN and I was laughing and giggling and constantly saying “I love her so much” the whole time. as for thirst mode. the dance off was everything my bi heart needed like OHMYGOD those costumes??? I??? that was not family friendly here people??? And the girls won by a landslide because DAMN LADIES UHHHH. Yeah. that, in combination with Tessa and Scott’s dance off ice (which, also, OHMYGOD that was so good and fun and WOW) prompted me to lean over to my friend and say “yeah, you know how i used to say Tessa is the hottest woman alive? Still true.” Cause... UHHHHH... that STRUT and just that OUTFIT and that DANCING. the woman.

ahem.

Eric’s piano also made me get misty because it was so gorgeous, and Diamonds was like... a lot for my heart. Their costumes were so pretty, and i was obsessed with the part where they were all just saying reassurances. I think that was my favourite number of the second act. Tessa also fell in the final number and it looked PAINFUL but she just laughed it off.

And then. The Meet and Greet.

Holy moly my dudes, I was so nervous. My poor friends. I was babbling and trying to figure out what was happening the whole time. We were some of the last people to actually get in because i needed to pee, but tbh i think it was good for me to wait and try to get some nerves out. While we were waiting to be let in, they walked by, and I think I missed Tessa, but we saw Scott, amd my heart legit stopped for a sec because it was like. SCOTT MOIR. IN ACTUAL HUMAN PERSON. That was like my “holy shit this is actually happening” moment.

Meeting Elvis and Weapo and Meagan and Eric I was actually pretty frustrated with myself, because i really wanted to like, say more and hold a conversation, but I got so nervous and didn’t have enough planned and then felt rushed, so I didn’t say like, literally anything? but I had so much to say! because i have so much respect and admiration for these people. My friends and I did ask Andrew about him going to school at UW (he talked about maybe comign back to finish his degree!), and we told them (Weapo and Meagan and Eric) that we had all gone to UW and Meagan asked if we skated there and we all started laughing because we are terrible skaters. So. Yeah, annoyed with myself for not saying more there but I’m trying to just be chill and blow past it.

And then we were waiting in line for Chiddy and Kaetlyn and Tessa and Scott, and we were kinda annoyed that they did it how they did? because poor chiddy and kaetlyn were being real overlooked, damn. I also made friends with the people behind us in line because they had cool mugs for Tessa and Scott that the guy had made that had been carved on the bottom (apparently they loved the mugs). There was this shy kid who didn’t want to go interact, and Scott kept like teasing him, and Tessa was making faces at him, and it was so cute and hilarious. And also just so lovely to watch them interact with the fans and be so good and genuine. Scott was being his usual ham, and like, started a singing of happy birthday for someone, and was dancing and singing, and when the playlist ran out he was playing DJ (which was hilarious). This girl moon walked at one point and he fucking LOVED it and tried it himself, as did Chiddy (poor Chiddy and kaetlyn were just like amusing themselves half the time lol),

So when our turn came, Chels went first, and Scott told her to moon walk up, and she did and they all friggen loved it. and told them about this feminist TV show she’s trying to make happen, and they were all super into it, especially our lil feminist, Tess and I was so proud of Chels and how chill and casual she was.

AND THEN. it was my turn. Okay. Things are a bit of a blur bc i think i had an out of body experience lol. So Scott told me “okay, do any dance move, just any one” as i was walking to them, so I did like the disco finger point thing and they all laughed and were into it, and scott like, immediately started patting my shoulder a bunch for doing it, and kinda laughed with me, and then we took the photo and they started signing things, and Scott started talking to me about how I danced, because he is Scott and kind and tried to put me at ease (and Chiddy kept leaning in and listening all kindly, the sweet man), and I said I probably would not have if he had not asked, and then he apologized so i told him that i was happy I’d done it and he like, patted my shoulder again (WHAT A LOVELY AFFECTIONATE MAN OKAY). And then I moved into what I had kinda planned to say.

And I told them all that I loved watching them skate, and it was such a joy, especially knowing what they’d each overcome (and everyone’s kind eye contact?? was so?? good???) and then I kinda turned to Scott and Tessa, and said (loosely, like i said, i fuckin blacked out from nerves) “and Scott and Tessa, for you especially, I’ve had a bit of a year, and watching your skating is just such a nice escape, and to know how far you’ve come and how driven you are...” and i might have said more?? but then Scott started leaning into hug me and I don’t even KNOW what was happening i just knew i needed to hug that man. Great hugger by the way. And then Tessa went to hug me?????? I??? AM DEAD. And JUST. they both were so kind, and intent, and really listening. And I think i might have said more words but i don’t really remember. most of them were the words thank you, for the show and just everything, and they thanked ME and both told me they hoped it would get better. And Scott kept making this like, incredibly intense eye contact like he was trying to eye-contact my sadness away. and it was just. so good. I was shaking for a hundred years after.

And then Becca went, and asked tessa “so how’s that degree coming?” and tessa got all wide eyed and kinda panicky and was like “it’s been a rough couple of years” and then they laughed about it and Becca told them she was studying water so they made jokes about how they knew nothing about water except frozen water. And Scott was like desperately trying to come up with like science facts haha.

And then we gawked at costumes and left. And it was just. So good. I am so happy. They are just such genuinely good people. They say don’t meet your idols, but i had no worries going into it about Scott and Tessa (and honestly the whole gang) not being the kind people i hoped and expected for. Like they lved up to everything we think and hope they are. And I just. Am so grateful that people like them exist in the world my dudes. Grateful I have people like them to look up to. Grateful for this experience.

And this has been... a massive post. Photos to come tomorrow or the day after.

#virtuemoir #ttyct #tyct 2018 #lyd speaks #a good day #meet and greet #ps if you follow on main and on here the main post is just a condensed version of what happened when i met them #this is the whole shebang

12 notes · View notes

lynfantasy · 6 years

Note

Lotor?

(For this character ask challenge)OOF. Alright, prepare yourself for salt, because I absolutely love this character no matter what, and that is precisely why I am very mad at the official crew about him. (Though I swear this isn’t ALL salt.)

The last time I did this ask challenge, I answered these questions for Lotor here, but that was before season 5 even came out. Now…

(Putting this under a read-more because this is LONG – there’s two long playlists under the “song” section, and I added a ton of screenshots at the end.)

Favorite thing about them: I loved how complex and out-of-the-ordinary he was. He wasn’t a hero, he wasn’t a villain, and he wasn’t even a traditional antihero. He wasn’t good, but he was altruistic; he wasn’t bad, but he was willing to do things that no one else would. He was neutral, and he didn’t need to be redeemed into goodness. He certainly didn’t seem to have any reason to fall or rise – he already knew what he wanted and how he was going to get it, and both his motives and means were shockingly pure.And then…Least favorite thing about them: Season 6 just completely ruined him. That colony thing?? I’ve vented to many friends about this, and there’s a post I have half-written that I might put up sometime, but it just doesn’t make sense to me. The creators of the show said that they wanted him to be a morally gray character, but then they had had him commit a truly evil act? And he doesn’t even seem repentant for it? I just can’t forgive them for doing this to him. This wasn’t some “cool plot twist.” I’m not sitting here, thinking, “Wow, I really fell for that, didn’t I?” I don’t feel like Lotor betrayed me. I feel like the writers betrayed him and did him a disservice.Favorite line: “All I ask is that you judge me by my actions rather than your preconceptions of my race.” This line was just… wow.Also: “My father’s blood is not just in my veins. It’s also on my sword.” Damn.I also still very much love his opening speech in season 3, and a special shout-out goes to his speech in the beginning of season 6 until Sendak interrupted it.BrOTP: Mmmm, well, Team Sincline forever. In a better universe, they’re all still getting up to their own shenanigans together.I also still wish that Lotor and Keith had gotten a chance to bond. It could have been great.But let’s all take a moment to acknowledge what a great and supportive friendship Lotor and Shiro had in season 5. That was good. Good on you, (clone) Shiro.OTP: Lancelot. I can’t really explain why, but this is my favorite ship. In a close second place comes Polycline, the ship of Lotor and his generals all together in a romantic sense, which just warms my polyam-loving heart.As for what I would like to see in canon, well, I was pretty happy with Lotura, and I’m still holding out hope that they might have some dramatic redemptive reconciliation.NoTP: Eh, I don’t really do NoTPs. I can’t say I’m fond of Lotor/Throk, though.Random headcanon: I think Lotor’s ships are perfectly capable of making it through the Quantum Rift without being subjected to the time dilation effects. I also think that, on more than one occasion, Lotor has purposefully turned down the protection against time dilation because he can’t afford to take time off but he really needs a break, and what better way to accomplish that than to take a trip that will give him weeks or months to himself but will only cause him to miss about a week in regular time?Unpopular opinion:

FANWORK CONTENT CREATORS CAN STILL MAKE CONTENT WITH A SOFT CHARACTERIZATION FOR LOTOR. SHIPPERS CAN STILL SHIP LOTOR/PALADIN SHIPS. CANON SHOULD NEVER LIMIT CREATIVITY.

Song i associate with them: Hoo boy, I have not one but two playlists for him… Instead of linking a playlist, I’ll just list the songs for you all to find at your leisure, since everyone uses different music services (and honestly, I just pirate off of YouTube 99% of the time).

My “canon” playlist, in chronological order, is:

Natural by Imagine Dragons – I’m so glad this came out recently, because if there’s any singular theme song that fits Lotor in every canonical aspect, this is it.

Who We Are by Imagine Dragons – Team Sincline. Need I say more?

Best Day of My Life (minor key) by Chase Holfelder – If you only know this song in its major form, you might very well be wondering why it’s here, but Chase Holfelder’s minor key version has a very different tone to it, and I think it fits Lotor quite well for season 3.

Gold by Imagine Dragons – This works for his rise to power in season 3 and fall in season 4, as well as hinting at his eventual rise and fall again in 5 & 6 and that final snap at the end of 6. It could honestly go at the end, but I thought it fit best here, as the season 4 song.

Icarus by Bastille – I associate this song with both Keith and Lotor in seasons 3 & 4. Honestly, if you listen to the chorus, it sounds like them both at the end of season 4. Icarus (Lotor) is flying too close to the sun… Icarus (Keith) is flying towards an early grave.

Blame by Bastille – This isn’t a perfect fit, but it reminds me of Lotor’s pleading with the Paladins at the beginning of season 5 to not hand him over to Zarkon. Honestly, I sort of picture Lance as the one singing the scathing verses. There’s no room for you here.

I’m So Sorry by Imagine Dragons – This could also go anywhere, but I can picture this as a backdrop to Lotor’s final confrontation with Zarkon. It’s so scathing and sarcastic, except for the bridge. I imagine the bridge as being addressed to Lotor’s generals.

White Blank Page by Mumford and Sons – Canon Lotura. Just… just listen to it. It’s so tragic and fits them so well for season 6.

This Is Gospel -> Emperor’s New Clothes by Panic! At the Disco – Initially, I was going to put just Emperor’s New Clothes on here for Lotor’s breakdown in season 6, but I listened to these two back-to-back, and I thought that This is Gospel fits in a tragic way if you think of it as the sane part of Lotor’s mind trying to warn Allura, knowing that he cannot fight the corruption of Quintessence.

Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing by Set It Off – …I mean, in light of season 6, how could I not include this one. The bridge is basically a summary of that final confrontation.

Viva La Vida by Coldplay – Initially, I had this as a song for season 4, but I couldn’t leave this playlist on such a bitter note. I like to picture that Lotor will eventually come out of the Quintessence field and, alone and without resources, will have to hide out somewhere and rethink a lot of things, and this song is perfect for that.

I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young – Following the thread of an eventual redemption from the previous song, I think this would suit a redeemed, post-s6 Lotor very well. It’s also simply a very bittersweet and beautiful song to end off on, and it stands in very strong contrast against Natural, the first song on the playlist.

My other playlist is for miscellaneous songs that don’t fit into the canon timeline and for ship songs. In no particular order:

Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea by Fall Out Boy – This is such a Lotor song, but it technically doesn’t fit canon, since he did become emperor. However, I’ve got an AU story that this fits perfectly, and I think it suits a lot of other Lotor-centric AUs I’ve seen. Besides, thematically, it really does fit Lotor pre-s5.

Broken Crown by Mumford & Sons – The meaning of this song is ambiguous, but if you interpret the “crown” here as literal, it could suit Lotor pretty well, especially in an AU where he refuses to rule.

Therapy by All Time Low – I think this would fit a human AU best, but it could work for any version of Lotor who is introspective about his own flaws and problems.

Battlefield (Meet Me on the Battlefield) by SVRCINA – I’m a little iffy on this one, but someone else recommended it to me as a Lotor ship song, and I do think it could fit a few different Lotor ships quite nicely. The song is primarily about revolution and altruism, both of which fit Lotor, and the romantic aspects would work well for a Lotor/paladin ship.

I Walk the Line by Halsey & Walking the Wire by Imagine Dragons – These two songs work well as two sides of the same coin. I particularly imagine them for Lancelot. Lotor sings I Walk the Line, talking about the difficulty of maintaining a balance between his relationship and his loyalties in the war but declaring that he will be true to Lance above all, and Lance sings the far more optimistic Walking the Wire, saying that although this balancing act is difficult, they will come out on top, together. It could theoretically work for another Lotor ship, but Walking the Wire is such a Lance song that I really picture it for the two of them.

Hold Me Tight or Don’t by Fall Out Boy – Funny story, I pictured this as a Sheith song first, but then @noirsongbird recommended it to me as a Lancelot song, and… yeah, it fits. It also specifically fits one of her (very good!) fanfics, so that’s cool.

King and Lionheart by Of Monsters and Men – Technically, this could sort of work for any Lotor/paladin ship, but I think it would work better for Keitor, Shotor, or Lancelot. It was recommended to me by @noirsongbird as a Lancelot song, and I have to agree that it fits them very well.

I Don’t Know Why by Imagine Dragons – Again, this could work for multiple Lotor/paladin ships, but I picture it for Lancelot. It’s a great forbidden love song, so it would suit a secret romance across battle lines quite nicely.

So… yeah. A lot of music. Sorry? I’m sure this isn’t even everything, haha.

Favorite picture of them: Oh gosh, how could I choose…

Like… damn.

But also…

He’s so cute and pretty??

I mean, just look at him.

For favorite fanworks, I’ve got to put this one up, of course (and please follow this link to the post for it and give it a like!):

This was a gift to me for my very recent 20th birthday by my amazing friend @honestlyprettychill (thank you again babe)!!

There’s a lot of other really good Lotor fanart out there. Check out @itsnotdoneyet and @invidiaesc for some great stuff.

Annnnd that’s it! Sorry this took so long. I hope I answered the questions to everyone’s satisfaction! I have an ask for Keith that I’ll work on next, but I don’t have any after that yet, so please feel free to send in more!

#voltron #lotor #lotor appreciation #lotor ships #s6 salt #meta #lotor meta #voltron meta #music #playlist #voltron playlist #lotor playlist #screenshot #answered ask #my post #mod speaks

39 notes · View notes

grimelords · 6 years

Photo

My October playlist is finished, please enjoy it. From 14 minute 70s acoustic guitar instrumentals, Armand Van Helden bangers and Christian music I’ve had a lot of feelings about this playlist has it all in four hours.

Love Love Love - The Mountain Goats: Posting on the web about Mountain Goats songs you've had a moment with is about as universal as it gets, so here's mine for this month. I woke up one morning with the line about Sonny Liston in my head one day after not listening to this song in years. John Darnielle is perhaps the only person on earth I'd trust to write a song about Kurt Cobain's suicide and he does a very simple and beautiful job of it here. Ben's My Friend - Sun Kil Moon: I discovered Sun Kil Moon way after I probably should have via that guy who was doing parody songs of him last year. This song is fantastic because it takes so long to make its point, and like so much good art is just some middle aged guy recounting his every thought and movement for four minutes. You Were Meant For Me - Jewel: I was trying to remember how Dreams by Fleetwood Mac went and all I could think of was this song, and settled on singing it to myself instead. Sober - Lorde: Sorry to be a normie but listening to Lorde break down this song on an episode of Song Exploder was incredibly good and it definitely made me appreciate the way the brass sounds a lot more. Melodrama really does get better and better as a cohesive whole the more I listen to it. Night Moves - Bob Seger: We as a society need to bring back Power Voice I think. I've been obsessed with this song for months now and as far as I can tell Bob Seger has precisely zero other good songs, which is unfortunate because this one is so good. This also is another song about getting the Lamenting Night Hornies because you heard a thunderstorm that reminded you of the times in your youth that you Fucked and it's, in my opinion, very beautiful. Cairo - San Fermin: This is on the list not only because it's a good song but also unfortunately because of Podasts. San Fermin guested on an episode of Improv4humans and got absolutely roasted about this song so I highly recommend the ep. UFO - Sneaky Sound System: It's unfortunate that Sneaky Sound System's highest played song according to Spotify is the Nicolas Jaar remix of Big (an all time top ten piece of music) because it's really overshadowed the rest of their incredibly good singles. Do you remember 2006? What a time to be alive. UFO (Van She Tech Remix) - Sneaky Sound System: This is my absolute pick of the month and I have been raving to everyone who'll listen but nobody cares, I cannot get enough of it. Do you remember when Justice came from France to bless us all with the secret of bass and we betrayed them by inventing Skrillex not three years later? Van She remember. Charlie Chazz & Rappin Ralph - Duck Sauce: I believe there is a real argument to be made that any song that doesn't refer to the listeners collectively as Party People is absolutely worthless. Duck Sauce's album is a completely underrated classic in my opinion, it's a go-to mood elevator from beginning to end and for some reason has a subplot thoughout about aliens transmitting coded messages to influence human evolution, which is a big thumbs up from me. I Took Your Picture - Cults: Guess what Cults are still really really good. I haven't given this album enough time yet but this bassline has invaded my dreams so that's a good sign. Pavement - City Calm Down: The way this layers and builds into and through the chorus is so satisfying. I love this sort of thick synth production and the contrast between the different registers of his voice is so satisfying as the chorus comes back again. Pogo - Digitalism: Australian electronic music had a real moment around 2007 between Digitalism, Van She, The Presets, Midnight Juggernauts, Cut Copy and all them and I'm realising retrospectively that it was very, very good. Semicircle Song - The Go! Team: The world's best band are back and their new album isn't out until fucking January! This song features big horns and a bridge that's just a montage of children telling you their star sign so that's how you know it's good. The Garden's All Nighters - The Number Twelve Looks Like You: It's a real shame that #12 broke up after this album because it feels like they were really on the edge of something. Over 4 albums they morphed from a straight ahead grind band into some sort of math-prog thing approaching it from a whole different direction to everyone else. I love the idea of writing such an expansive, complex song seemingly just about living in New Jersey. The way it transitions into the groovy latin part is so nice and the solo is just beautiful; and unlike other bands in the same sort of sector they never make a joke of genre switches either, they just keep moving forward with a smile. Paris/Orly - Deux: I forget how I first came across this album but it’s easily the wankiest thing I absolutely love. An 80s French synthpop duo that only ever released a cassette and some singles that got reissued by a label called Minimal Wave a few years ago. It is absolutely the best. New wave mixed with Kraftwerk and synthpop except incredibly french and cool as well. I constantly have their song Game And Performance in my head but this one was my obsession this month. Walking Into Sunshine (Larry Levan 12" Mix) - Central Line: There’s something very authentic about disco songs that are lyrically all about working all week all day every day, and desperately needing a break to perhaps, dance your worries away in a new york discotheque. Cradle In The Crater - The Number Twelve Looks Like You: This is maybe my favourite #12 song because it appears to be about some kind of super child who came from space and perhaps wrought havoc on the citizens of earth, but told in a very real and emotional way like it’s a story about someone they really knew. It reminds me of Mother 3 and the good times I had as a teen playing that game with my best friend, so that’s an added bonus. Under The Ice (Extended Version) - Topo & Roby: Italo disco forever. This song is a duet between a woman and a robot where they relay the story of him coming from a distant planet in a spaceship and crashing on the north pole then getting trapped under the titular ice where he waits to I think murder me. Now that I think of it it’s world similar to Cradle In The Crater. It sounds so good, far better than a novelty song like this has any right to. There’s also a video with someone’s 80s mum dancing with an incredibly shit robot on youtube if you’re interested. Outta The Woodwork - Kurt Vile and Courtney Barnett: I really love the covers they chose for this album because they both really make it their own. Outta The Woodwork really sounds like a Kurt song now and I love the strong piano giving the song the harder edge the lyrics deserve and Kurt just lazily soloing to hell any chance he gets Peepin' Tom - Kurt Vile and Courtney Barnett: I think I almost like this version more than the original, making it just an acoustic thing but still keeping all the dynamics of the original is so nice. I love specifically the deep bass voice of ‘peepin’ to the high ‘tom’. It satisfies something weird in my brain. Mercury (12" Version) - Bloc Party: I can’t believe i’ve lived this long without ever knowing that there was a 12” version of Mercury out there. The song I always felt was way too short to contain the amount of energy it has has a 7 minute version that well and truly lays it out into a slow intense burn instead. Electric Feel (Justice Remix) - MGMT: Just to get my 2007 opinions straight Electric Feel is not a good song. Kids is a good song but Electric Feel isn’t. That said: this remix comes damn close to making it good. Justice figured out the secret sound and we’re all the better for it. Comin' Apart - Gary Wright: There’s no greater joy than tracking down a sample and finding out that the original song is also a banger. This pairs extremely well with My My My as a sort of extended intro. My My My - Armand Van Helden: I posted that playlist a couple weeks ago of songs mid-2000s bangers with extremely horny videos and this is a highlight from that. I'm always amazed with how much mileage great producers can get out of a relatively straightforward sample because this hums along for almost 7 minutes and only gets better. Laser Life - The Blood Brothers: The Blood Brothers are one of the few bands that scratch the brain itch I have for totally bonkers Mars Volta markov chain lyrics phrases like 'Oh dream machine I'm a pound of flesh inside a drum machine dream'. They're also the only band I think that can get away with having this sort of cabaret swing feel in a song with a lot of screaming and not have it be absolutely unbearable. Camouflage, Camouflage - The Blood Brothers: Where a lot of The Blood Brothers early songs were just chaotic bursts, they have a few songs that spread out into a long multi movement ideas culminating in very good final lines like 'I couldn't see the love and affection it was camouflaged as a jungle of erections, and I couldn't see the skeletal lightning it was camouflaged as a young machete' 16 Tons - Tennessee Ernie Ford: The mistake people make in covering this song is trying to match the extremely grim lyrics to the music, but this version succeeds exactly because it's on some upbeat Frank Sinatra shit with the clarinet refrain sounding like a children's song while still being very much about dying face down in the dirt from arsenic poisoning. Take This Hammer - Leadbelly: On the other hand you have a song like Take This Hammer from a guy who really worked on a chain gang complete with involuntary WAH sounds to time your hammer strikes to, and it's still so much more upbeat and positive musically than it has any right to be looking at the lyrics. San Francisco - Foxygen: There's something about the chorus of this song, and they way the phrases of the two voices line up where if it gets stuck in your head it just goes around and around and around forever and it is absolutely maddening so I thought I'd share that with you all. El Manana (Metronomy Remix) - Gorillaz: This remix reminds me of Studio to a degree with the way it just moves forward with no regard for regular structure. It's gutsy to remix a song and somehow restructure it so the chorus doesn't even sound like it's the chorus anymore but just another small part in a slowly winding up machine. Monkey Gone To Heaven - The Pixies: The way he's screaming that GOD IS SEVEN in this song I feel like if Black Francis hadn't made it in music he'd be running a very successful incomprehensible conspiracy website. This is a song I can get very lyrically involved in when I'm in certain moods, nodding my head like the creature in the sky DID get sucked in a hole and now there's a hole in the sky, and we're all in trouble because of it. Cannonball - The Breeders: I like this song because it feels like everyone in the band is working on their own unique structure. The clean guitar especially just comes and goes at will through the whole song, the lyrics start whenever, the rhythm guitar just keeps strumming along. It all comes together for the chorus and then they just go their own separate ways until it's chorus time again. S.A.D. - Kirin J Callinan: The production on this song just amazes me, especially as it moves into the later choruses the sheer weight of the chords is just crazy. The barest suggestion of guitars chugging in the background but blending into the huge synths chords. Combined with the vocals it's the most threatening pop song I've ever heard. Wrapped up in plastic thrown down the stairs feeling fantastic. Water Coast Blues - Honeyboy Edwards: I feel like Honeyboy Edwards has gotten a raw deal from history. When he died most of his obitaries made a big point of how he was one of the last living people to know Robert Johnson personally. Which is an important detail but it overshadows Edwards contributions in his own right as a guitarist and songwriter who had a 70 year career. The album this recording's from is a really good compilation that gives an overview of his whole career, mixed with interviews with Edwards and Alan Lomax that are just amazing. Anyway just listen to the playing on this song because it is incredible. The bass figure he switches into when he says 'when I had money'? Phenomenal. Another Leather Lung - The Sound Of Animals Fighting: The Sound Of Animals Fighting was a supergroup of a bunch of guys from RX Bandits/Chiodos/Circa Survive and bands like that coming together in animal masks to make the most pretentious band possible at the time. There's a lyrics on one of their other songs where he sings 'the artist! the true manifestation of struggle!' which is quite good. But outside of that they did make some very good music and the second half of this song where it takesoff is really something. Bone Machine - The Pixies: It's amazing Black Francis hasn't been linked to a string of murders in the mid 80s honestly. This whole song feels like evidence. Also the way he says 'I was talking to peachy peach about kissy kiss.. [incredibly long, awkward silence] ... he bought me a soda. he bought me a soda and he tried to molest me in the parking lot hep hep hep hep' is perhaps the most amazing verse ever. Stomping Tonight On The Pennsylvania/Alabama Border - John Fahey: This is John Fahey's best song and I've listened to it probably 4 times a week for the last 4 years. It is quite honestly an eternal mood. Ares - Bloc Party: War! War! War! War! I love the guitar in this, because it's just textural noisemaking more than anything else and mixed with the vocal manipulations in the chorus it's just absolute chaos. It's such a shame that everyone in Bloc Party either left the band or had their brain removed after this album because between this, Mercury and Talons it was truly an incredible moment. Special Rider Blues - John Fahey: I can't believe I only found out this month about John Fahey covering Skip James, and even that it took me this long for me to listen to the full version of his America album. Mark 1:15 - John Fahey: I also learned that on account of cds only holding 80 minutes of music, this 14 minute reissue version of Mark 1:15 is 2 minutes shorter than the original vinyl version and I'm completely riled up about it and demanding a second, definitive reissue to restore them. Regardless, this song is an absolute masterpiece and when it switches into the portion of When The Springtime Comes again about three quarters of the way through it's just amazing. Swim - Nicolas Jaar: Here's another quite long and involved piece of music from the other side of the spectrum. It has a very similar feeling to Mark 1:15 really, so if you liked that persevere through this. It's taken me such a long time to get around to listening to Nymphs for some reason but I'm glad I finally gave it a shot because this song especially is a real masterwork. Crimes - The Blood Brothers: A third Blood Brothers song for you, If you didn't like the other two there's a chance you'll like this one because it's much more sedate. This song is also a good first Blood Brothers song because the way the second vocalist sounds when he finally turns up is really funny if you're not expecting it. This is another on the long list of songs I seem to just always have in my head and sing to myself when I'm walking around. NRG - Duck Sauce: Are you ready for the most powerful 12 minutes of your life? It's the entirety of the NRG single by Duck Sauce. I like to think of it as a purposeful multi-movement work rather than a song and two remixes because that's what it feels like. Starting out we have the original, incredible instant power of NRG. NRG (Skrillex, Kill The Noise, Milo & Otis Remix) - Duck Sauce: and next we have the absolute peak of the work, the fever pitch. See if you can guess which part Skrillex was responsible for. I love the addition of miscellaneous woos and yeahs among the already busy main riff, I absolutely love the bass which sounds like some kind of steel drum pulled down four octaves. I love the distortion on the vocals in the second half as it slowly gives you time to catch your breath. NRG (Hudson Mohawk Remix) - Duck Sauce: The we move into the comedown, the HudMo contribution where the drums somehow sound like they're coming from next door like the party has passed you by and moved on to enliven your neighbours. I love the snare building and then splitting into triplets like it's going to drop before the peace of the synth gives way to the rolling thunder drums hafway in. On The Other Hand Baby - Etta Baker: I don't know what to say about Etta Baker. She's incredible and it's an absolute shame that she didn't really get recorded until she was about 70. This album was recorded when she was about 92 and her playing is still amazing. Crucible - Sleigh Bells: You have to give Sleigh Bells credit for still going strong four albums in if nothing else. Somewhere along the line they adopted this sort of corny rock chick thing that wasn't really there in their first album and I think it works against them but I really can't get enough of the instrumental of this song. The distorted brass and string amongst everything else especially. I feel like there's a much better song buried in here somewhere but I'll take what I can get. Pirate Blues - As Cities Burn: As Cites Burn are another good example of a metalcore band absolutely mellowing out into a indie rock band over the course of three albums, and the result Hell Or High Water has turned out to be one if my favourites of all time. This song especially is an obsession, and I love a band having the sense to no longer make metalcore, but learning enough from it to take a song to a a huge crescendo when they need to like this one does. Timothy - As Cities Burn: Between As Cities Burn, mewithoutYou and a couple of other christian bands I was very nearly converted in highschool and it still informs a lot of my uh theistic thought in a strangely unembarrassing way. This song, from their second album where they were sort of caught between their metalcore origins and the full fleshed indie rock of Hell Or High Water is one of their best. Yelling at god about your dead friend is a massive thing to write a song about but it's done so well and it builds and builds before dissolving into a sparse, thoughtful solo for a good six minutes into a beautiful ending.

listen here

#playlists

103 notes · View notes

bobbystompy · 5 years

Text

My Top 127 Songs Of 2018

Previously: 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

Not the most ever... just the second most ever. The record of 132 stands. I hope it is never broken.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track

Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check any or every out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes 122 of the 127 songs

Well?

youtube

/grins

127) B.o.B - “Food Fight”

Some triplet rap, pretty boring, and I have no idea what this song is supposed to be. But the “Food of the WiFi” part makes me laugh, and I always picture my buddy Matto singing it to his eye rolling wife (even though I’m pretty sure he’s never heard the song before).

126) French Montana f/ Drake - “No Stylist”

This song sucks -- even Drake can’t save it. French Montana is cancer except you don’t get to die.

125) 21 Savage - “Monster”

Not a huge Savage guy, but the Gambino verse helps.

124) The Kooks - “All The Time”

Kind of a lazy chorus, but it’s aight.

123) Sean Paul f/ Jhené Aiko - “Naked Truth”

Love Aiko, have never cared for Paul... but the collab weirdly works.

122) REASON - “Summer Up”

My buddy Josh sent this one, and it’s got the warm vibes. Money stretch:

P asked me is REASON still workin', shit N***a, is Amber Rose still twerkin', gold diggers still flirtin' horny teens still jerkin', all my exes still lurkin' black lives still hurtin', black lives still hurtin'?

121) Nipsey Hussle f/ YG - “Last Time That I Checc’d”

B’s vs. C’s. And a beat that sounds like DJ Mustard combined with ‘90s G-funk. Also, YG’s bandanna scarf is just very cute.

120) Thrice - “Only Us”

Weirdly, another reds and blues music video. But this time, it’s kids at a summer camp. This could absolutely be used by networks as a pump up song for sporting events.

119) Anderson .Paak f/ Kendrick Lamar - “TINTS”

Anderson .Paak -- ohhhh, that dot will always annoy me -- really does not make bad songs. Kung Fu Kenny fits right in, and it’s a very easy hit-the-spot driving song.

118) Mr Hudson f/ Vic Mensa - “Coldplay”

A serious song that uses an emotional reliance on Coldplay to take objective shots at Coldplay, which is pretty hilarious. Vic’s verse is good (”I lost my Queen poppin’ Ace of Spades at King of Diamonds ... I hate Coldplay”).

117) Logic f/ Wu-Tang Clan - “Wu Tang Forever”

Long cypher song. If you care about hip-hop, you probably know Drake also released a song called “Wu-Tang Forever” five years ago (which featured no members of Wu-Tang). There was talk of a remix -- RZA even recently said he wished they did -- but Inspectah Deck articulated why it didn’t happen back then:

“When I finally got to hear the song, I was more or less like, ‘Wow, I thought it was a tribute song like, it would be in respect of all eight members,'” Deck said. “And when I heard it, it was about a girl.”

You can just sense the colossal and spiritual disappointment.

Well, this one is more about fire than females; you’ll shout “Wu-Tang” proudly at least once. My MVP verse is Ghostface.

116) Jhené Aiko f/ Rae Sremmurd - “Sativa”

Rae Sremmurd* still sound like little kids to me. Conversely, Jhené Aiko is all that is woman.

(* - never knew they were brothers until just now)

115) Sam Coffey & The Iron Lungs - “First Time”

Sam Coffey first got on my radar with The Clash-sounding song “Talk 2 Her”. This is less of that and more, like, ‘80s hair metal. It’s almost hard to tell if this is sincere or parody. The video absolutely does not take itself seriously.

114) Saves The Day - “Kerouac & Cassady”

Always been impressed with the very unthreatening Chris Conley’s ability to create such sinister, dark, and menacing imagery. This maybe has the most bleak closing line of any of these songs.

113) 5 Seconds Of Summer - “Youngblood”

This is what Fall Out Boy tries to sound like with their new stuff... but they just suck so bad now.

112) She Killed In Ecstasy - “Dissension (Gold)”

I remembered this being a dope instrumental before totally forgetting about the just-as-awesome vocals; great band name, too. Recommended by my friends Jim and Bill over brunch after taking in their show at Subterranean in Chicago the previous night. This could be the closing theme for a critically acclaimed TV show.

111) Night Birds - “My Dad Is The BTK”

Straightforward, bratty punk rock that promotes snitching (if you’re sure it’s for the right reasons).

110) The Decemberists - “Once In My Life”

Why does such an outwardly melancholy song still feel so damn uplifting? Probably the video. They have a long statement attached on YouTube, so for sure peep if this catches your interest.

109) Mad Caddies - “She’s Gone”

Here we have a straight up reggae cover of NOFX. Sometimes I don’t think I like this song at all, but it might just be hard to separate it from the original; almost wish it was possible to go in with a clean slate. Maybe you can on my behalf?

108) Rivers Cuomo - “Two Broken Hearts”

Would you rather not know the video uses Bitmojis or the pre-chorus promotes two different ice cream brands before the song ends?

107) XXXTENTACION - “Train food”

This song is intense; gave me memories of listening to Kendrick’s “The Art of Peer Pressure”. X not surviving 2018 makes it that much more haunting.

106) Kanye West & Lil Pump f/ Adele Givens - “I Love It”

Not sure why, in his most embattled year yet, Kanye decided to be a part of such a derogatory song towards women. Listening to it makes me feel bad. And sure, the MAGA imagery will be what we think of when we think of 2018 Yeezy, but this picture shouldn’t be too far off either.

Shark: jumped.

105) New Lenox - “Do You Think We Made The Most Of Those New Years Eves”

That is a very long song title. But not as long as the time since passed on this reflection of the final night of the year, over a decade now gone. But even though he’s looking back, you know Chris Trott gets to hit reset at the end of the night, whether it’s December 31st or January 1st. And when NYE hits again, whether you return to the same party in the same place or a different experience in a totally different hemisphere, celebrating something is what makes this all matter.

(Full disclosure: yours truly has a minor backup vocal part in the outro)

104) Jeff Tweedy - “Having Been Is No Way To Be”

This for sure made it on the list because of the “And if I was dead, what difference would it ever make to them?” line, but upon closer scrutiny, the “And I’m sorry when you wake up to me” line is even more crushing.

103) Panic! At The Disco - “Dying In LA”

Brendon Urie’s voice is so polished and full. This song is him in complete control, and he knows it too (the “Dyin’ in LA” falsetto part at the end of the chorus is... probably not necessary).

102) Sugarland f/ Taylor Swift - “Babe”

Though Taylor’s impact in the music video is significantly stronger than her impact in the actual song, it’s still rock solid country. Or... country solid country?

/curtsies

101) ZHU & Tame Impala - “My Life”

This song has such a dancy cool on the power of its instrumentation; really doesn’t need vocals at all.

100) Kidd Russell & Southside Jake - “Slow Motion”

The poppiest SSJ has ever sounded. This is his best song to date. I’m not so sure if “Shots kill the butterflies” is an actual expression, but it should be.

99) Hop Along - “What The Writer Meant”

Hot damn, what a voice. This song is beauty in our not-often-beautiful world.

98) Retirement Party - “That’s How People Die”

This reminds me of a female fronted version of the departed Modern Baseball. Eager to see how they develop and definitely plan on checking their Audiotree session soon.

97) Lil Peep - “Sex With My Ex”

It’s... really good, you guys. The grimy nihilism of the “Fuck me like we’re lying on our deathbed” is palpable. It’s impossible not to think of the heights Peep would have almost definitely hit had he not passed. Also, super interesting tidbit on how the album got posthumously made:

Lil Peep died of an accidental drug overdose last November [2017] at 21. Afterward, attention turned to his computer. First, it went to London, where the files were backed up by First Access Entertainment, the company that helped guide his career.

Then it went to his mother, Liza Womack. In an interview in her cozy Long Island home, sitting on a nondescript couch that belonged to Peep and was shipped cross-country after his death, she calmly recalled walking into an Apple store, handing the laptop to a clerk, and saying: “My son died. This is him. Take this and put it on a new one.”

96) Kurt Vile - “Bassackwards”

I was on the beach, but I was thinkin’ about the bay

This has Kurt Vile’s signature laid back-ness (good) but also has a 9:46 track length (VERY VERY BAD). I’m not saying it has to be even four minutes long... but, like, could you have given us seven, KV? All of that aside, it really doesn’t slog at all despite mostly staying the same the whole time. Though I still can’t stop thinking about how much shorter it should be.

95) Christine And The Queens - “Doesn’t matter”

Kinda ‘80s pop sounding. Also, there’s a foreign accent there. British maybe?

/googles

French! Even better.

94) Brendan Kelly And The Wandering Birds - “Shitty Margarita”

Wish the drums were louder, BK.

93) Courtney Barnett - “Nameless, Faceless”

Barnett does not fuck around with her chorus/old adage:

I wanna walk through the park in the dark Men are scared that women will laugh at them I wanna walk through the park in the dark Women are scared that men will kill them

This type of perspective, down to the description of how she has to hold her keys in a way your average dude might not think about, remains so crucial as we all hope to continue to better understand each other.

92) Jeff Rosenstock - “Powerlessness”

Meet me at the Polish bar I'll be the one looking at my phone Shaking like a nervous kid Absolutely terrified of being alone

...it doesn’t sound how it reads. All of his skittish energy fuels this fist pumping jam. And don’t miss the guitar solo.

91) Charli XCX - “5 In The Morning”

Pretty standard fare pop song, but Charli makes it cooler and better than if the average person jumped on.

90) Pinegrove - “Darkness”

Gonna be honest: it was nearly impossible to listen to Pinegrove in 2018 without thinking of the sexual coercion accusations from the previous year. Jenn Pelly’s long ass piece really did nothing to help matters. So because of all this, I listened to their new album “Skylight” wayyyyy less than originally anticipated. The few times -- really maybe ‘time’ in all actuality -- I was able to separate the story from the songs, it definitely became enjoyable. This has head clearing guitar leads and a lyric straight outta Sublime’s “Garden Grove”.

89) Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson - “Bad Dreams”

Brooding, nighttime, driving; good ingredients for a successful duet.

88) Meek Mill f/ Rick Ross & JAY Z - “What’s Free”

Now, if I’m Rick Ross, I spend my entire career avoiding any situation where people can compare me to Biggie. But since Rick Ross is Rick Ross, he went with the opposite plan. This is his (to my knowledge) second reimagined Biggie song*, and... it’s... it’s rough. I mean, how far can you take it with the line “Mona Lisa, to me, ain't nothin' but a b***h” and end with a gay slur. Pass.

But we also have the GOAT. In classic Jay fashion, he spits a lot of good words, you know it’s complex, and there’s no way to process it without more listens. And yes, the immediate brand checks are super annoying, but he pushes through and delivers some bars:

They gave us pork and pig intestines Shit you discarded that we ingested, we made the project a wave You came back, reinvested and gentrified it Took n****s' sense of pride, now how that's free?

When he finishes, the song itself ends, and we have one of the more long and uneven Jay cameos ever put on wax. It’s, like, a 5-star B-.

(* - the first being 2014′s “Nobody”, a take off “You’re Nobody [Til Somebody Kills You]”, featuring French Montana, which spawned an all-time Rap Radar comment, “If someone killed French, he’d still be a nobody”; I will bring it up with the most minor of segues for the rest of my life)

87) Red City Radio - “In The Shadows”

I tend to prefer Red City Radio playing more uptempo, but they drag us down to a slower speed for this one. This centers around the cryptic “I show no fear when I know that the devil’s here” line, and the guitar solo is definitely overqualified for the genre.

86) Kanye West - “Yikes”

/cracks knuckles

The song: banging chorus, solid beat, lyrics meh. Of course it was the song he got Drake for, because it’s the only one on his solo release that vaguely resembled a hit.

The album: Calling “ye” bad is a little unfair, but the best and realest description is sadder: it’s Kanye’s most inessential record. It was forgettable at best and cringeworthy/offensive at worst. The one about his daughter was particularly appalling:

Don't do no yoga, don't do pilates Just play piano and stick to karate I pray your body's draped more like mine And not like your mommy's

This doesn’t even get into the entirely warped mental health takes that I’m not nearly qualified enough to address.

Kanye himself: Every Kanye fan has defended Kanye, some Kanye fans have abandoned Kanye, but 2018 was legitimately the tipping point where it felt like we all finally had enough, in unification. Shock, betrayal, and disappointment are probably the best adjectives. When you are willing to forgive someone for 90% of their behavior, and they up their bullshit to 110%, an understandable separation must occur. At this point, the man we once called Yeezus is now the hip-hop Louis C.K.: no type of constructive or negative feedback can penetrate his brain, and any new attempts at creative output only make everything worse.

85) Royce da 5′9′’ f/ Eminem & King Green - “Caterpillar”

As lyrical as it gets on this list, but what else do you expect from Em and Royce? Not a huge fan of the chorus (at least that loud part in the first half). Eminem legit goes off for, like, ten lines with a pooping metaphor to close the song.

84) Nicki Minaj - “Barbie Dreams”

Staying in the redone Biggie songs lane, we have Nicki with a passive evisceration of your favorite male rapper. You can call it crass, but I’d argue her playfulness makes the whole thing work, combined with the fact that it’s flipping the male gaze on its head. And though she’s having fun, some of these movie punches catch real faces. My favorites:

3) “Drake worth a hundred mill, he always buyin' me shit / But I don't know if the pussy wet or if he cryin' and shit”

2) “I remember when I used to have a crush on Special Ed / Shoutout Desiigner 'cause he made it out of special ed”

1) “Had to cancel DJ Khaled, boy, we ain't speakin' / Ain't no fat n**** tellin' me what he ain't eatin'”

Goodbye forever, DJ Khaled.

83) Bad Bunny f/ Drake - “MIA”

I do social media for my high school alma mater’s football team, and this song first got on my radar when of the players tweeted something like “I can’t understand a word, but this is really good”. I was piqued, and it delivered. Nobody cultural appropriates quite like Drizzy Drake. Also, am I the only one who would have maybe been happier if the song was called “Bad Bunny” and the featured artist was M.I.A.?

82) Phoebe Bridgers - “Christmas Song”

Christmas songs are hard to write because they’re either taken or terrible, but Bridgers definitely carved out her own lane. This could work as a single person under a spotlight or sung by a group of lonely strangers finding camaraderie at a bar; within the song, you actually get both scenarios.

81) Remo Drive - “Blue Ribbon”

Got into this band for the first time in 2018, and though some of their older songs got more spins, this was my favorite from the new album.

80) The Sidekicks - “Twin’s Twist”

Mostly just impressed they were able to seamlessly integrate the “Chronic 2001″ into lyrics of a lighter rock song.

79) Real Friends - “From The Outside”

My favorite chorus they’ve ever written. While remaining thoroughly pop punk, the catchiness puts it more on the pop side of that spectrum.

78) Mike Posner - “Song About You”

Posner sounds like he’s barely trying, and it’s still so, so good. Favorite moment is this non-rhyme: “Since you’ve been gone, I got nothing to do / I sleep until noon, I wake up and feel bad”. It’s like a pop freestyle or something.

Also, extra shout out for how well he took his social media roasting after the Thanksgiving performance in Detroit. Love this dude.

77) Bad Religion - “The Kids Are Alt-Right”

What if I told you Bad Religion made a song with an intro that sounded like Andrew W.K.’s “Party Till You Puke” but were somehow still able to stay afloat? Hell, I’m confused too. The satirical lyrics mark 2018 for what it was. The pre-chorus, I remain torn on.

76) Blood Orange - “Saint”

You said it before

Looped keyboard beat over some smooth lyrics and melodies.

75) Juice WRLD - “Lucid Dreams”

I cannot change you so I must replace you

Still unclear how this *isn’t* a Post Malone song.

74) Tancred - “Queen Of New York”

Own the city.

73) We Were Sharks - “Drop The Act”

Ohhhhh, I love this production.

72) Cloud Nothings - “Leave Him Now”

This band continues to possess all of the melodic fury (and the Russell Westbrook of drummers).

71) Childish Gambino - “Summertime Magic”

Wasn’t big on “This Is America”*, so Glover releasing an ode to the best season as an alternative selection helped.

(* - at least not the song; vid was interesting)

70) The 1975 - “Love It If We Made It”

The 1975 are one of those bands where liking them makes you feel like an alien because everyone else either loves or dogs them. I’m keepin’ this casual, aight?

Also, since all writers are contractually obligated, we must mention the “Fucking in a car, shooting heroin” line which opens the song.

69) Kississippi - “Cut Yr Teeth”

Saw this band play in a classroom at a high school (google “BLED FEST”) in Michigan in May of 2018. They were fun, diverse, and covered Jimmy Eat World’s “The Middle”. This tune is a little more serious and locked in.

68) Muncie Girls - “Picture Of Health”

Every part of this song is well-written, but it all builds to a massive chorus.

67) Justin Timberlake f/ Chris Stapleton - “Say Something”

There was a time, in January 2018, when not a ton of music had dropped yet, and this song was everywhere. It was like the dead-of-winter equivalent to the Song of the Summer. This one definitely gets docked some points for what I’d call weak lyricism. You can tell both dudes were way into it though, which does help make up for it some.

66) Interpol - “The Rover”

As speedy as I’ve ever heard Interpol; pretty unskippable.

65) Dashboard Confessional - “Catch You”

Imagine if this were the only Dashboard song you’d ever heard. You’d think they were, like, happy. Our protagonist has a trustworthy assurance that should put you at ease.

64) Gulfer - “Secret Stuff”

No singing on this list will alienate you faster than the first eight seconds of this one.

63) Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - “Talking Straight”

Though this feels like two band names in one, RBCF know exactly what they’re doing as it pertains to the actual songwriting. This would fit right in during the mid-2000s garage/indie rock boom; could listen to the chorus on a loop.

62) Rita Ora f/ Cardi B, Bebe Rexha & Charli XCX - “Girls”

This song has the unique distinction of being think pieced and outraged cycled before I even got a chance to hear a second of it. The case:

Now, it goes without saying that the best people to explain why this song feels damaging and hurtful to queer women are queer women themselves – girls who kiss girls whether they’ve been gulping back Malbec or not. “A song like this just fuels the male gaze while marginalizing the idea of women loving women,” wrote Hayley Kiyoko on Twitter. Kehlani said it has “many awkward slurs, quotes, and moments”. MUNA’s Katie Gavin noted that in ‘Girls’ she hears “the familiar chorus that women’s sexuality is something to be looked at instead of authentically felt”.

To her credit, Ora apologized the very same day that piece came out (PUN INTENDED). What’s weird is the idea of this song being problematic made me like it more. It gives the sexual flippancy of the chorus authenticity. I don’t know, man -- this stuff is complicated.

Not complicated? Cardi B’s awful green screen cameo featuring cheap looking special effects.

/shakes head in disappointment

61) Eminem f/ Ed Sheeran - “River”

Though not apples to apples -- since he’s not spitting -- we shall remember this as the time Ed Sheeran > Eminem in a song.

Marshall remains our unquestioned king of the ‘relationship dysfunction’ genre.

60) Culture Abuse - “Calm E”

Everyone’s getting back together

The writers of the perfect and generational “Dream On” continue to stay in the mellow lane with their subsequent releases. When you can pull off both, why not?

59) Brian Fallon - “Silence”

Fallon covers -- /checks notes -- Marshmello f/ Khalid, but it really could be an original. Dude really knows how to pick ‘em. I remember hearing this randomly at Shinto (a sushi/hibachi place) in Naperville; don’t remember if it was this or the original. Such a moving chorus.

58) Okkervil River - “Don’t Move Back To LA”

Gotta appreciate the persistent sentiment -- even though it’d be the opposite of my advice. Also took about 99.9% of the year for me to stop calling this band “Overkill” River in my head.

57) Natalie Prass - “Short Court Style”

Uber catchy and with a real groove.

56) The Interrupters - “She’s Kerosene”

2018 Rancid, down to the raspy-ish singing from Aimee Allen.

55) boygenius - “Me & My Dog”

When I heard Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and someone named Lucy Dacus were forming a super group, I was stoked. This tune was the one that jived the most with my vision of the project. Amazingly sick harmonies, dropping elbows on your heart like a professional wrestler, and introspection on introspection.

I wanna be emaciated I wanna hear one song without thinking of you I wish I was on a spaceship Just me and my dog and an impossible view

So, so, so, so good.

54) Shack Wes - “Mo Bamba”

How do you explain “Mo Bamba” to someone who doesn’t like rap? How do you explain “Mo Bamba” to someone who does like rap? I don’t know, but I am Teddy Bridgewater now.

53) Lil Dicky f/ Chris Brown, Ed Sheeran, DJ Khaled & Kendall Jenner - “Freaky Friday”

If you thought Rita Ora’s “Girls” was messy, allow me to introduce you to our last bad rap song on the list. Actually, maybe the Virginia Tech women’s lacrosse team would be a better candid--OHHHHH LADIES NO!!!!!!!!11111111

So yeah, whether it’s the most lightning rod word in American history, cultural appropriation, reverse cultural appropriation, or even just a good ol’ “I Blame Chris Brown” take, this attempt at comedy hip-hop got put under a microscope for all the right and wrong reasons. No one came out unscathed. But, like Ora’s song, if you can ignore some components (read: nearly everything), it’s so god damn fun, man. I mean, Dicky and Chris Brown swapped bodies -- pretty nuts. And it’s rare for an MVP line to be “How his dick staying perched up on his balls like that?”

52) Jay Rock f/ Kendrick Lamar, Future & James Blake - “King’s Dead”

I gotta go get it- I gotta go get it- I gotta go get it- I gotta go get it

The back half of the Future verse is the worst part about this song... yet the most fun to talk about. He raps auto-tuned, in falsetto... and these are the lyrics:

La di da di da, slob on me knob Pass me some syrup, fuck me in the car La di da di da, mothafuck the law Chitty chitty bang, murder everything

What a disgrace. Yet, almost like a whimsy 2 Chainz verse, it’s really fucking memorable.

51) Soccer Mommy - “Your Dog”

Noticeably good bassline? Check. Skin crawlingly bad band name? Check. Cool swearing? Yup.

50) Vince Staples - “FUN!”

Vince could rap his way out a bottomless pit; floating elevation flow.

49) Dan + Shay - “Tequila”

Tried so hard to get this one next to “Shitty Margarita”. Genuinely love this song. Maybe it’s the mountains in the music video, but that chorus just soars.

youtube

48) Meg Myers - “Numb”

Look up in the air and see this tidal wave chorus crashing through the world in slow motion.

47) The Penske File - “Fairgrounds”

My new working theory -- which really feels more like fact -- is how cool lyrics with the phrase “Meet me...” are. It creates this aura of unknown, mystery, and maybe even danger; like anything could happen if you just agree. Here are some from songs just off the top of my head:

Meet me by the lake

Meet me at the reservoir

Meet me in Montauk

Meet me in the middle (more on that one later)

Meet me in the back

Meet me at midnight

The list goes on. So please say “yes” to The Penske File at the fairgrounds, won’t you?

46) Lil Wayne f/ Swizz Beatz - “Uproar”

Weezy goes this entire song only using “oh” rhymes; not sure how he does it. Sometimes, I listen to this and pretend I’m a buffalo.

45) Cardi B - “Be Careful”

Cardi sampled Lauryn (wayyyyyyyy more on this later) and made it work. The chorus always sticks with me, and though the verses have a few bumps along the way, they might even be better.

44) Elway - “Crowded Conscience”

Elway pulls up their roots in this All Colorado Everything lyric video, and you’ll be ready to tap the Rockies when the singalong chorus finishes.

43) Pkew Pkew Pkew - “Passed Out”

A punk rock drinking song with a real bummer of a chorus for how happy the theme itself comes across.

42) Joyce Manor - “I Think I’m Still In Love With You”

I have no scientific proof, but Barry’s lyrics seem to be getting worse and worse. The drug references are still there, sure, but there’s an almost elementary simplicity to the proceedings. Still, like “Heart Tattoo”, this song doesn’t get in its own way and takes advantage of the basic words to create a big, big hook. You sing along even though it feels too easy at times.

41) Alkaline Trio - “Throw Me To The Lions”

So much desperation in the chorus; this could work as their last ever song.

40) The Bombpops - “Dear Beer”

My favorite opening line on this whole list -- the sweet and simple “I’m about to hit send / I’m waiting for the weekend”. Before you know it, a full blown self-loathing chorus. It’s got it all.

39) Foxing - “Lambert”

In quiet awe listening to this masterpiece of a song. Saw this band way up close in 2018 -- here is a picture:

Hello, Foxing

38) Lucero - “To My Dearest Wife”

Civil War soldier or rigorous rock and roll touring schedule? Either way, the Lucero singer misses his wife and family, and he’s gonna let you know they’re on his mind. I saw them open for Frank Turner in 2018, and he played their new album front to back -- before it had been released -- as their entire set because “I promised to do this when drunk on Instagram”. Gotta respect a man with principles.

37) BlocBoy JB f/ Drake - “Look Alive”

Favorite Drake hook of the year. BlocBoy JB... less necessary. Also kinda crazy to think we didn’t know who producer Tay Keith was at the beginning of 2018; definitely made his impression felt by the end.

36) The Front Bottoms - “Tie Die Dragon”

As psychedelic as I’ll ever get. Unless it’s, like, The Beatles. But that’s different.

35) The Lawrence Arms - “Laugh Out Loud”

Released on their Best Of record (legitimately titled “We Are The Champions Of The World) and an “Oh! Calcutta!” b-side from 2006, TLA prove even their leftovers can be a main course.

34) Tinashe f/ Future - “Faded Love”

I know he’s a rapper and she’s a singer, but nothing is more illustrative of how much harder women have to work compared to men than the 1:36 mark when Tinashe sensually sings “Let’s just feel this feeling”, doubled with Feature’s auto-tuned ass doing the exact same thing, only 10x worse. Not enough to taint the song, even a little. His verse, however...

33) Chance The Rapper - “65th & Ingleside”

Chance -- who almost always makes the correct choices -- did this super annoying thing where he released a bunch of songs in single batches in 2018.

“But Bobby, he gave you tons of free music! Why are you complaining?!”

Because we couldn’t easily sequence it, bruh. Look at this shit!:

Not even Drake would pull this stunt. EP next time, Chano.

Anyway.

Fun lines, really contagious beat, and a few types of flows; he spazzes at the end.

32) Complainer - “Drunk (Again)”

Gotta love when a song can’t start until multiple beer cans crack. These guys are a tiny band inspired-by-but-better-than Jeff Rosenstock, and I hope they get so much more traction.

31) ScHoolboy Q f/ Kendrick Lamar, Saudi & 2 Chainz - “X”

I LIVE ON TEN

Always read this title as the letter X even though the word “ten” is used 40 times in the song.

30) KIDS SEE GHOSTS (Kanye West & Kid Cudi) - “Reborn”

From Kanye’s only useful project in 2018 comes “Reborn”. Luckily, it’s mainly Cudi on this track (chorus/bridge/a verse). It feels like Ohio’s son is breaking through... or breaking out; verging on real triumph over his demons. Kanye, meanwhile, is surprisingly understated (read: good) and fits into all of his parts like a non-OJ glove. The sparing use of Yeezy reminds me of how the master himself used to feature people like Chief Keef just enough to harness the talent but not enough to ruin the song or do too much. Those alpha days appear to be way in the rearview now.

29) Travis Scott f/ Drake, Swae Lee & Big Hawk - “SICKO MODE”

Stacey Dash, most of these girls ain’t got a clue

This joins “Mo Bamba” in the Top 2 of Rap Songs That Need To Be Played At All Parties In The Year 2018. While “Bamba” is more consistent -- seriously, “SICKO MODE” is four songs in one -- almost nothing tops hearing the start of this and immediately anticipating the rest (like the opening of “Tuesday” when that was hot). The third part is probably my favorite. #likealight

28) SOB X RBE f/ Zacari & Kendrick Lamar - “Paramedic!”

Our third selection from the “Black Panther” soundtrack. Second favorite beat of 2018; I can’t not move the second it drops.

27) Drug Church - “Unlicensed Hall Monitor”

Favorite guitar leads of 2018. It’s as sleek as the vocals are gruff.

26) Matt And Kim - “FOREVER”

Was a dead tie between this and the equally emotional “Youngest I Will Be”. But this one has a vid -- and they make the best vids. This song also references the 1992 Dream Team. Our world will never be shit if they stay a part of it; first time I’ve came close to tearing up so far. These two inspire.

25) The Ramblin’ Boys Of Pleasure - “Joyce Jawbreaker”

Speaking of turrs, my band of 14 years released our maybe last song ever in 2018. Written in Maine, titled for Joyce Manor and Jawbreaker, and about lost love, Chicago, futures, playing music with your brothers, tiny hands, and found love. We also did a video:

youtube

24) Ariana Grande f/ Nicki Minaj - “the light is coming”

I really, truly am not excluding “thank u, next” to be contrarian. While I agree that is her defining song of 2018 -- and biggest hit to date? -- “the light is coming” is so much more unique. It goes in so many directions while the hook ties the rope around you a hundred times. Yep, I’m right.

23) Laura Jane Grace & The Devouring Mothers - “Apocalypse Now (& Later)”

Wish I could forever keep this song’s opening line as my mantra: You make me walk away from the hate I carry.

22) Restorations - “Nonbeliever”

Another band that should be bigger, so they can always be free to do anything they want. This song will always boil down to this part, which captures the push and pull of 2018 America:

I love your protest lines Oh, but who has the time? We all saw the same thing at the same time, okay? Got a partner for starters And a kid on the way Can’t be doing all this dumb shit no more

For how crass, clumsy, and non-rhyming that concludes, the song itself ends dire.

21) The Get Up Kids - “I’m Sorry”

One of my favorite videos of 2018. Similar to “Apocalypse Now (& Later)”, I’m not sure if it’s about a love interest or a kid. Does it matter? No. But it does to me.

20) Antarctigo Vespucci - “Freakin’ U Out”

A band name for the ages. With Chris Farren (of Fake Problems) on vox and Jeff Rosenstock on instruments, this song could power a car -- or at least one person who didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.

19) Bayside - “It Don’t Exist”

Anthony Raneri has a new grill, but this song feels 50 years old. A classic in real time.

18) The Carters - “APESHIT”

Is this artsy, all-time vid somewhat undermined by the Migos ad libs?

Yes.

/makes note to maybe dress up like this for Halloween next year

17) Post Malone f/ 21 Savage - “rockstar”

This song is so good -- albeit misogynist and also bad -- it makes me genuinely eager for a 21 Savage verse. And though I love any bars relating to his 12-car garage...

my favorite 21 savage quirk is his yearly 12 car garage updates:

2016: “why you got a 12 car garage?”

2017: “they like ‘savage why you got a 12 car garage / and you only got 6 cars?’”

2018: “why you got a 12 car garage? / cause i bought 6 new cars”

(via @ottergawd)

...his intro line is just so, so terrible: “I've been in the Hills fuckin' superstars / Feelin' like a popstar”. You know that’s... not really a rhyme, right?

16) Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness - “Ohio”

/will always, always death stare that dumb name to start any Andy section

Ah, but if we did start with a lyric?

Katie’s counting crows

This song is about leaving the worst state for one of the best. But if we’re doing that, why do we feel so melancholy?

15) Kendrick Lamar & SZA - “All The Stars”

You've gotta be mesmerizing to make Kung Fu Kenny look pedestrian, but SZA's galactic hook does just that.

14) Frank Turner - “1933″

Frank isn’t from here, but he’s setting out to remind us of where this all began.

13) The Wonder Years - “Sister Cities”

As far as pop punk legacies are concerned, The Wonder Years’ is secure. There is no longer necessity to churn out bangers; they’re already on the Mount Rushmore. Still, they go. Every part of this song is essential: the build up verses, blown out chorus, Panic! At The Disco 2005-era hi-hat off-time drum transitions, end-of-the-rope bridge. The true standout is the closing of V2:

I'm guarded like I'm wounded, my first instinct's always “run” I wanna turn to steam I wanna call it off I wanna lighten the dark I wanna swallow the sun

Good guitar leads add even extra.

12) YG f/ 2 Chainz, Big Sean & Nicki Minaj - “BIG BANK”

“Alexa, what does big bank do to little bank?”

The highlight line from each:

YG: “Ayy, I set the bar, I'm the fuckin' bar / Look in the sky, I'm a fuckin' star / I don't fall in love 'cause I be lovin' hard / Do everything like my shirt, extra large”

2 Chainz: “Big shit like a dinosaur did it”

Big Sean: “I'm rare as affordable health care”

Nicki: “Told em' I met Slim Shady, bagged a Em / Once he go black, he'll be back again”

Let this also be remembered as the song that created a Madden controversy.

11) Dean Summerwind - “Parked By The Lake”

What is there to say about the legend that is Dean Summerwind? With only one song on Spotify, he’s batting a clean 1.000. Calling this genius feels like an understatement. It’s real, it’s parody, it’s persistent, it’s ours.

10) The Dirty Nil - “Bathed In Light”

The Canadian Local H. Reaaaaaaaally wanna see them live in 2019.

9) oso oso - “gb/ol h/nf”

I stylized oso oso as “Oso Oso” last year to stick it to their frontman Jade, but a year later, I’ve lost the energy. Blame Ariana Grande. This song -- which stands for “goodbye old love, hello new friend”* -- has my favorite chorus of the year. It’s so simple, it’s obvious: “But I still come through, when you want / And if I serve no use, where do I get my purpose from?”

Also, this is indie/pop/punk/rock’s version of “SICKO MODE”: got more parts than “The Wire”.

(* - had to look that up multiple times in 2018 and never retained, despite it being the bridge of the song... I didn’t notice)

8) Kacey Musgraves - “Space Cowboy”

If any song *survives* the existence of this list, I hope it’s this one. Kacey has this predictable-yet-surprising way of taking existing tropes and co-opting them with her own twist. Homegirl is like the Jim Nantz of pop/country in that way.

7) Direct Hit! - “Welcome To Heaven”

This song makes me want to die to, you know, check. Blustering chorus, fascinating premise, and charged up while simultaneously patient/in control.

6) FIDLAR f/ The 90s - “Are You High?”

This not being on Spotify was one of the worst non-Michigan football things to happen to me in 2018. Man, I hate Michigan football.

5) Drake - “Nice For What”

- My favorite beat of 2018 (New Orleans bounce, ftw)

- My favorite release of 2018 - Drizzy said it would drop on a Friday - We were thinking morning or midday (not late evening, in the last remaining hours of the day, when were were faded and had waited so long it was almost forgotten -- it hit perfect) - On top of that, he also sampled Lauryn Hill’s “Ex-Factor” -- the same week Cardi B did the same -- with even more pulsating results - I will always interpret that as a real or sneak diss, yet no one I know has ever said anything

- My buddy Josh sent a selfie vid of him and his girl and some friends bopping to it; I’ll remember that forever; the moment felt like such an event, as if the world simultaneously celebrated at such an atypical time

- Drake deserves 30% less credit for this female empowerment anthem because of the “these hoes” sample

- Maybe a Top 5 Drake song, all-time

- There is no planet, solar system, or multiverse where 2018 Drake finishes ahead of 2018 Pusha T

4) Pusha T - “The Story Of Adidon”

You are hiding a child.

Let’s not mince words: this is the No. 2 greatest diss track of all time. Pac is No. 1 -- this will not be debated. From there, Nas is DQ’d for “Ether” homophobia, annnnnnd no one else is in the realm. King Push...

- Unearthed a photo of Drake in blackface and uses it as the art for the song - Goes at Drake’s mom (”Marriage is something that Sandi never had...”) - Goes at Drake’s dad (”Dennis Graham stay off the 'gram, bitch, I'm on one”) - Outs Drake for having a child (and hiding said child!*) - Goes at Drake’s baby momma - And -- /gulp -- goes at Drake’s longtime producer 40 for having multiple sclerosis, suggesting he will not be alive soon**

He does this over “The Story Of O.J.” beat... a rather chill backdrop, all things considered.

(* - Drake responded later with the line “I wasn’t hiding my kid from the world, I was hiding the world from my kid” which just isn’t cool at all but is competent enough to win some people back over; /barf)

(** - HOLY FUCK***)

(*** - much debate occurred in the aftermath regarding if Push “went too far”; I was 50-50 at the time but now am 100-0 that it was the right choice; this song is cyanide venom, so why pull back even an ounce?)

Though Drake survived -- turns out the mainstream pop boost is bigger than hip-hop beef -- he took the fattest of L’s on this one.

Really can’t decide on a lyrical ending, so I’m gonna go with two:

Surgical summer.

If we all go to hell, it’ll be worth it.

3) Spanish Love Songs - “Buffalo Buffalo”

In my head, this was gonna end up ahead of The Menzingers, but that would be like putting Greta Van Fleet ahead of Zeppelin. Spanish Love Songs were my breakout band of 2018. They released my favorite album, I saw them as an opener at Sub-T in Chicago, and I promised their bassist I’d see them in Florida at the Fest (this did not materialize). While their vocals and guitar leads sound identical to Scranton’s finest, if you listen to them as much as I did, you’ll realize they offer a sound and perspective* of their own as well.

(* - no one hates themselves more than this singer)

2) The Menzingers - “Toy Soldier”

There’s so much to be sad about these days

/that guitar intro

Followed by the best musical moment of this year: from 0:06 to 0:07 -- the ever-so-slight delay before the band blows it out. Spent a lot of time in 2018 debating if I should change my Twitter bio to “I lost my accent in the plague”. Listened to this song on the floor of the living room on my 32nd birthday; then I read “The Great Gatsby”. From there (at this point, it was past midnight), I realized this sounded like The Lawrence Arms’ “Requiem Revisited”, which was inspired by Naked Raygun’s “Soldiers Requiem”. It’s all a triangle of that perfectly fitting punk chord progression. That’s right: I am Pepe Silvia.

1) Horror Squad - “I Smoke The Blood”

Best song title of 2018. Best song of 2018.

This has 729 views on YouTube -- be the 730th.

youtube

Spotify playlist.

Thank you for reading.

0 notes

emma-writes-stuff · 7 years

Text

Getaway (part one)

Dean x Reader, Sam

Basically the reader, her boyfriend, Dean, and best friend/basically brother figure Sam take a short break from hunting to go on a vacation.

I really only split it up because of length, like once it hit 3, 069 words and their vacation hadn’t even officially started, I said to myself, “God, Emma, you should probably split this up or these people are going to hate you”, so......

Word Count: As mentioned above, 3, 069

Warnings: I don’t know, is fluff and really cutesy boyfriend Dean stuff a warning? Does that count?

With a huge beam on your face, you all but skipped through the bunker, leaping down the steps with a colossal thud and sprinting into the living room, where you knew Dean was watching a movie and Sam was reading in the corner. As soon as you appeared in the doorway, Dean looked up at you from the couch with a goofy grin across his face.

“Hey, sweetheart. I was wondering where you were-”

“I have a really awesome idea,” you said quickly, the smile somehow growing on your face. Sam sat his book down on the stand to his right and looked up at you, one eyebrow raised as if he was asking you a question. Dean sat his beer down next to him as if to show you he was giving you his full attention, the same goofy smile still plastered on his face.

“A vacation,” you announced, pleased with yourself as you flipped your laptop around to show the screen: an absolutely breathtaking picture of a beach at sunset.

“Wait, are you serious?”

“Okay, guys, think about it. The most relaxing we ever get to do is sometimes laying around the bunker for a few weeks waiting for a case. That’s it. Our break from hunting is shuffling around a place full of hunting weapons and old hunting books. We’re all going to lose our minds eventually, and I think that a vacation to my favorite place in the world since I was six years old would be the perfect way to stop that before it happens.”

There was a moment of silence, and then a grin grew across Sam’s face.

“Let’s do it.”

Dean turned towards him, a somewhat surprised expression on his face. “Damn, and here I thought you would be the one against it.” He turned back to you, smiling now as he said, “Well, what the hell? If Sammy and you both want to go, let’s go for it. I guess a little sand never hurt anybody.”

You beamed at both of them as you set your laptop on the stand next to you. “Thank you thank you thank you thank you! This is gonna be so much fun,” you said excitedly, relieved that it hadn’t taken as much convincing as you thought it would.

“So, when do you want to leave?” Sam questioned.

Hesitantly, you suggested, “This afternoon?”

“Works for me. Sam?”

“Alright. Let’s go pack.” Sam replied. As the boys stood up, you threw your arms around Sam in a hug and gave Dean a kiss on the cheek, whispering how romantic beaches always were in his ear as you pulled away with a smirk before skipping off to your room.

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=214703287- Your Suitcase

You flung open the car door and bounced into the seat next to Dean, leaning across the middle compartment to plant a kiss on his smiling mouth.

“Ready to go, babe?”

He smiled at you, almost shyly, looking down a little. “Yeah, sweetheart, we’re good.”

You turned around to see Sam already settling in for the trip, a small stack of books about the history of the Outer Banks next to him. “Sam, how about you? Ready to spend 24 hours in a car with our music?”

“I am prepared for that,” he said, whipping out a pair of headphones without even looking up from his book. “Audiobooks.”

“Alrighty then,” you said with a laugh as you turned back around in your seat to see Dean opening the compartment.

“Dean, whatcha lookin’ for?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

With a grin, he pulled out a small, badly wrapped present with a big heart-shaped bow on top and handed it to you proudly.

“Is this for me?” you asked with a giggle as you inspected it.

“Yeah. I was- um, I was saving it for our anniversary later this week, but I figured since we’re gonna be in here for the next day, it might be nicer to have now, if you like it.”

You gave him a kiss on the cheek, sending a blush up to his cheeks as you carefully began to open up the wrapping paper until you had revealed a small black cassette tape and a piece of paper. Dean looked down at the ground as you read the sticker across the cassette, carrying onto the back-

“Y/N’s Playlist”

For my other half, the love of my life

7 years since we met

7 years of being best friends

6 years of being in love with you

5 years since you somehow agreed to go out me

5 years of complete and utter happiness

Thank you so much

For everything

Happy 5th Anniversary

With love, Dean

Love overflowing in your heart, you looked over at the paper to see a long list of all your favorite songs. Every song your favorite band had ever recorded along with a million other bands and songs.

Some songs that had special meaning to you and Dean. Like “Fly Me To The Moon”, the Frank Sinatra song. It was what he had played on your first date, when he had set up an incredibly elaborate moonlit picnic with fairy lights and blankets and all your favorite foods and lots of flowers for you, a night of dancing and nervousness and laughter and playfulness and love.

And then there were other songs that you had never heard of before, and before you could ask anything, Dean hopped in with, “I put in a lot of songs that reminded me a lot of you. To listen to so you can kind of see just a little how I feel when I’m with you.”

“Dean-” you whispered, almost tearing up, not just at the tape, but everything that it represented. The past five years had honestly been the absolute best of your life, the happiest you had been since your parents had died so long ago. Dean was your family. He meant more to you than anything else in the world. You looked over into his beautiful emerald eyes, wide and nervous as they watched you, and imagined them staring intently at the cassette and his own fingers as he undoubtedly worked in secret for hours upon hours making this for you. There were ten hours worth of music here, meaning that he probably had to spend several entire days trying to figure out how to put it all together. You thought your heart was going to explode.

“If- if you don’t like it, it’s fine, you can tell me-” he said, looking down a little.

“Dean, no! I love it so much,” you whispered/choked out, reaching forward to pull his chin up with your fingers so you could lean forward and place a soft and sweet kiss on his full, pink lips. He grinned.

“Really? You’re not just saying that?”

“Yes, really, you goofball. It’s amazing,” you giggled before pausing for a second, giving him a peck on the cheek. “Thank you. So much.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, an adorable smile on his face as he realized you weren’t making it up, you genuinely loved his present. You sat there, staring into each other’s eyes for what seemed like hours before-

“Alright, you two, you guys know how much I love you and how adorable I think you are, but as cute as this is, we really need to get going if we want to make it there at any time other than five in the morning two days from now.”

Dean turned to face his brother with a glare that could kill as he huffed out an, “Alright, fine. We’ll go.”

As he turned the key in the ignition, you placed a small hand on his thigh. He lovingly turned to look at you as you quietly said, “Dean? Do you think we could maybe put it in now?”

A beam lit up his face as he gently picked up your cassette and inserted it into the slot, followed by a few seconds of silence before the song started.

The Impala pulling forward and out of the driveway, you heard the tell tale opening sound of The Killers’ “Mr. Brightside”, grinning as the guitars exploded and you realized Dean was laughing and singing along with you.

With a laugh, you started screaming along the lyrics to one of your all time favorite songs, throwing your hands up in the air dramatically along with the words.

“And I just can’t look, it’s killing meee!!!!” you yelled, turning your head and shielding your eyes from Dean. “And taking control! Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis!” Throwing your arms out wide and squeezing your eyes shut as you sang to Baby’s ceiling, you yelled out your favorite part, “But it’s just the PRICE I PAY! Destiny is calling me! Open up my eeeeeaageeeeer eyeeeeeeees!” You turned, dramatically pointing a finger right at Dean and then back at yourself as you said with a nod to the beat of the song, “Cuz I’M Mr. Brightside.”

He was laughing at you, and the only thought running through his head at the moment was how ridiculously adorable you were.

After a few more classic rock songs, Twenty One Pilots, and a Panic! At The Disco song, you came to a slower one, Elvis’ classic “Can’t Help Falling In Love”. With a smile you reached over and wrapped your small hand around your boyfriend’s huge one, lacing your fingers between his and shooting him a sweet smile before turning to stare out the window at the fields passing by.

He marveled at the way the golden light hit your face, shining on you and making your eyes and hair sparkle like diamonds, the bright blue sky the perfect background for your incomparable beauty.

Dean thought back to the night the song represented and smiled, remembering how you had run upstairs, excitedly grabbing his hand and pulling him into the room down the hall, where you had found a dusty record player sitting in the closet. How you had so gently pulled out the record on the bottom shelf, the one that read “Elvis Presley” across it, and blown the dust off of it as if you might shatter it by breathing too hard. The way your face had lit up as you sat the needle on it and heard the opening chord you knew so well ringing loud and clear through the old machine.

How you had turned around, absolutely beaming as you stepped up on your tiptoes and even then struggled to wrap your arms around the neck of your boyfriend, of two months then, and asked him to dance with you. How he had happily obliged, despite his inability to dance, wrapping his arms around your waist and swaying back and forth slowly.

How as the final lyrics, “For I can’t help falling in love with you,” resounded, you pulled closer to Dean with love in your eyes as you whispered “I love you, Dean,” not for the first time, but as the lips he had fantasized about the last two years finally reached up and met his. It was better than he ever could have imagined. And how that kiss had led into another. And another. And another.

It was one of the happiest nights of his life.

It had been 29 hours.

29 hours in a hot car. Granted, you had one or two pit stops for gas and food (one of which was in a town called Winchester, which you loved). But otherwise you had spent over a day in Baby, and as much as you loved her, you couldn’t wait to get out.

The beautiful music Dean had put together had greatly improved the trip, but that was only half the ride. Of course you still had the rest of the cassette tapes, but after ten hours even you and Dean got tired of listening to the same rock songs a million times over.

You were taking a turn driving after Dean had almost fallen asleep at the wheel, and now his head was lightly resting on your right shoulder, his legs sprawled out across the seat and his arms crossed over his chest. When you realized you were only five minutes away from the motel, you gently reached over and rolled down the window, allowing the warm air and that salty beach smell you loved so much fill the car. It was about one in the morning, and you were, for obvious reasons, the only car on the road. You were exhausted, but slightly less exhausted than the boys, and of course after driving for over a day there was no way you could blame Dean for being so tired.

That was when you saw it. An adorable white motel, with a pool and a picket fence and baskets of colorful flowers spilling out of the wicker by every door. “The Mari-Anne”. That was where you were staying.

Pulling the car into the parking lot next to it, you carefully turned towards Dean before whispering, “Dean, honey? We’re here, babe. We can go inside and sleep on a real, soft, big, comfy bed, just like at home.”

Sam was already in the back, sleepily gathering his things with his eyes half closed. “Y/N, are you gonna be able to get him in?” he mumbled.

“Yeah, Sam, it’ll be good, just give me a minute to get him up.”

Dean’s eyes fluttered open and he tiredly raised his hand to rub at them, burrowing his head against your shoulder with a yawn.

“Dean, c’mon, you can go right back to sleep in a minute or two, babe.”

“Will you sleep with me?” he asked innocently, still in his odd space between sleep and consciousness.

“Yeah, Dean, I’ll definitely be passing out right next to you,” you promised.

“Will you pwetty pwease cuddle with me?” he pouted, still so sleepy.

You giggled before responding, “Yes, Dean, I will definitely cuddle with you, but if you want me to, you need to get up now so we can go in and get our own room before they run out.”

“Our own room? No Sammy?”

“No Sammy, he gets his own room. Just us, for a whole week.”

“Oh, boy!” Dean mumbled happily, pushing himself off of the seat and out the door, stumbling to the back to get your suitcase from the trunk. Even tired off his ass, he was ever the gentleman.

But you couldn’t wait to collapse in bed and finally close your heavy eyes.

A warm, salty-smelling breeze was the first thing that hit your nose when you “woke up”. You were in that strange state between sleep and consciousness where you were technically no longer sleeping, you could hear what was going on around you and everything, but you just couldn’t seem to open your eyes or move at all to save your life. Over a day in a car with three hours of actual sleep tops can do that to you, I guess.

You could faintly hear the sound of seagulls outside, and even through your closed eyes, you knew the window was open and the morning light was pouring in.

Despite the warm, pleasant weather, however, you were, as always, icy cold. So, it was undoubtedly the feeling of your frozen foot brushing against Dean’s leg that woke him up. However, he didn’t playfully jump or move or complain as he usually would. He just laid there, his arms wrapped protectively around you, pulling you in against him, as they had been all night.

You were curled up into a tiny ball against his chest, wearing an oversized T-shirt of his that fell about to your mid-thigh as a dress. Your head was buried in his AC/DC shirt, his chin resting on your forehead. It was so incredibly comfortable, warm and snuggled up against him on a soft, pillow-topped mattress and under the thickest, most amazing comforter you had ever seen. You wanted to just stay here forever.

You allowed your eyes to flutter open, the light streaming in from the blinds and falling over you in golden strips.

You flicked your eyes up to see that Dean was staring down at you, green eyes sparkling like emeralds as he looked at you. How the hell did he manage to look so damn good in the morning? It was the morning, for Chuck’s sake. Looking like shit was supposed to be in the description.

“I don’t know about you, but I am really comfortable right now. Like, really really ridiculously comfortable,” he mumbled into your hair, voice deep and scratchy from lack of use.

Fireworks exploded in your stomach, just like every time. Every time you spoke to him. Every time your hands “accidentally” brushed against each other. Every time he smiled at you, beautiful green eyes crinkling and so full of love and adoration. Every time he laughed. Every time he wrapped his arms around you in that special embrace only you had ever known so well. Every time your lips touched. Really every time he did absolutely anything in your presence. But especially every time you woke up in his arms like this.

A smile grew across your face as you whispered into his chest, voice muffled by his T-shirt, “Is that so?”

“Mmmhmmm,” he confirmed with a hum.

He pulled you even closer up against him, which you didn’t know was possible at the moment, but you certainly weren’t complaining about it.

“You know, you were completely right, sweetheart. This whole vacation thing was an amazing idea,” he said, still sounding sleepy and tired, but a little more coherent than before.

You smiled. “Well, I’m glad you think so. I’m having a great time so far, myself.”

You felt a light kiss being planted on your forehead and tilted your head up, pressing your lips against the soft, full ones that belonged to your boyfriend. He smiled against your mouth slightly, just happy to be sharing this moment with you.

You broke apart and laid your head on his chest, snuggling against him.

“Just think of all the stuff we can do while we’re here. The beach, new restaurants, super touristy places-”

“Or we could just stay right here all day.”

“Sounds good to me. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

#dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural x reader #outer banks #boyfriend dean

41 notes · View notes

kentkennyradcliffe · 4 years

Text

April 26th 1991 – April 26th 2010 (18 years)

Birth (0-1):

In Bloom – Nirvana

I was born into the grunge movement, and the album never mind by nirvana was a landmark album for the band. I never knew about nirvana until I was much older, in my teens, but after listening to the entire album, I really liked In Bloom the most. I feel like it could be about me. It captures the teenage attitude perfectly, an attitude that I always wanted to avoid.

Baby (2-3):

Jeremy – Pearl Jam

I heard this song when I was two I think and it stuck with me ever since. I always hear the guitar part in my head when I am about to do something I shouldn’t do.

The Voice – The Moody Blues

Tuesday Afternoon – The Moody Blues

I Know You’re Out There Somewhere – The Moody Blues

My mom used to play these songs in a cassette in this order. I remember always liking the first song the most . I would listen to it constantly, and always wanted to hear it when mom would play it in the car. All of these songs made me feel good as a little boy, especially Tuesday Afternoon and I Know You’re Out There Somewhere. Tuesday Afternoon has a part in the song when the singer hits this note for almost 30 seconds, and I used to challenge myself to see if I could hold the note too. I never could do it as a little boy, but as I got older, I trained myself to do it. It always frustrated me when I would have to gasp for air after about 20 seconds. I Know You’re Out There Somewhere reminds me of my first dog Brownie. She was a vicious dog to strangers, and since we didn’t have a fence, we had to let her go when we moved to Kentucky when I was about 3. The song was playing when my mom told me that Brownie was gone, so I told myself as a little boy that I “would find her somehow, somehow, somehow.” It never happened, and as I got older I forgot about her. Maybe when I got my new dog star, it sort of made me forget, but now that I think about it, I think I knew deep down that Brownie was better off on that farm. At least there she could run around and be free.

Kid (4-13):

You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me – Dusty Springfield

This song was my go-to for help when I was confused and my parents were of no help. I couldn’t talk to them about my sexuality. I was condemned.

Freshmen year:

I first heard of fall out boy, all American rejects, panic at the disco, 30 seconds to mars, and bands like that in my drama class, my very first class in my very first year of high school. A boy with mohawk hair and gauges sat behind me and his friend (a girl who looked like she rolled out of bed each morning) always talked about music. One day she brought in a cd with four guys on the cover, in a silhouette fashion, with what looked like a stage with red curtains in front of them. These four guys are sitting facing towards the stage, and if I remember correctly there was a tree or a cab or something in the stage. The title of this album was called From Under the Cork Tree and it was by the band Fall Out Boy. I never heard of them and was interested in the band, so I asked to see the cd. The girl showed me her favorite song. The title was long, and I lost interest right then and there. I never realized this band was going to become major in about 3 months. I figured it was a local band too, I never took the time to ask what genre they were or where she got the cd from. So, I dismissed the band and instead kept listening to my Avril Lavigne and no doubt. When I went home I turned on the radio to the station I always played, 99.7 djx, and after while I heard my first fall out boy song, sugar we’re going down. I liked the song, and that is when I became a follower of the emo scene that would become huge in the next year. My friends at this time where two goth/emo girls who knew how to be rebels. They were redheads and twins. One girl always wore crazy goth clothes, the other would have on something fun, like Pokémon or some anime t shirt. They rode my bus and had me listen to music I cannot even remember, but they got me into the punk scene. There was also a girl named Shelby who rode my bus too, and she played the knack my sharona, and I loved it. She was a huge rush fan, but I never got into that band. I remember hearing all the songs that were popular 2006 on the bus. Like lose control my missy Elliot, my immortal by evanescence, a lot of rap and hip hop, and Kelly Clarkson. I was introduced to prince that year, but never got into him until my sophomore year.

Sophomore Year:

I was entering my second quarter of the second semester of my sophomore year. I used to use a music website called project playlist to discover music. Everyone that I knew on myspace had one, because you could have up to 100 songs on it, so much better than the one song that myspace used to let you have, now myspace even lets you have playlists. But back when it was new and hip, project playlist was like finding pandoras box, I discovered so many songs and artists from that website. I could listen to any song I wanted, without having to buy it, so I looked up all the bands that my friends were talking about, like My Chemical Romance, AFI, The Used, Paramore, act… I used it to listen to classic songs by David Bowie, Madonna, Prince, Michael Jackson, Queen… I also was into the movie Moulin Rouge. I heard my first David bowie songs (heroes, diamond dogs) and Madonna songs (like a virgin, material girl) in that movie. I credit that movie for my taste in music actually. I never would have known who Bowie was until much later in life if not for Moulin Rouge. I also looked up U2 (in the name of love) and queen (the show must go on) I went out and bought 3 CDs that pretty much defined the last half of my sophomore year: I’m not dead by pink, Greatest hits platinum by queen (which included 3 CDs, the first being there classic rock songs, the second their 80’s hits, and the last one with solo stuff by Freddie and the 90’s hits) and The Immaculate Collection by Madonna. Later during the summer I bought Mika’s debut cd – Life in Cartoon Motion. I fucking loved that cd. Every song in it meant something to me. Then I bought The New York Dolls Life in Manhattan Cd and Feists Cd the Reminder. All these musicians I discovered through YouTube, project playlist, or myspace. So I give them a lot of thanks.

Junior year:

The beginning of my junior year, I was a happy, fun, person. Everyone knew me, and everyone knew about me. I was comfortable with myself and outgoing and headstrong. The music I liked was still a carryover from the summer, (New York dolls, feast, mika) and my friends knew I liked the emo stuff and the weird stuff. I never was actually emo, I never dressed like it, or even tried to be associated with the scene, but as time went on, I would find things to be changing. I went to a concert called less fest and saw a band called sum 41. I really liked their energy. I remember I went with some friends who would later become my best friends, like taylr, cory, coty, logan. I was also becoming close to Sydney during that time, but we didn’t become good friends till later. I remember seeing kimmy and sally and lots of people. But things went south after that night, I was drunk and planning to get with Logan later. It was a well-known fact that I went both ways back then, and Logan wanted to join in on the fun. I remember being excited about the whole thing, I thought this was going to mean a possible relationship, but I realized the next day that any hopes for a boyfriend were gone. This sent me down a path that was destructive, and I ended up turning to drugs. At first it was simply pot, and I was familiar with it. Over the summer I smoked it for the first time down in Florida and liked it a lot. I was reading a book called the perks of being a wallflower at the time too, and I looked up the music in that book. I had a friend named Lauren who introduced me to a band called chiodos, which got me into the whole screamo/posthardcore scene, and I began to lose my head with the drugs. I became closer friends with Sydney and we hung out a lot. She confided in me that she was bisexual, and we talked a lot about our experiences. I went to a lot of parties that fall and became hooked on cocaine. It was a drug I should have avoided, but I didn’t. And around late October Halloween I lost it. I told the whole school about what Logan and I did, I turned to Sydney for support and help and then we began dating as a cover up for our sexuality, well more for her, so her parents wouldn’t think she was with girls. And I turned to bands like my chemical romance, the used, Thursday, Paramore, the song loving touching squeezing my journey, Manson, and anything loud that would make me feel better. MCR and the Used were bands that I became dependant on because their music hit exactly what I felt with my life. I felt like a monster or a freak. Like I did not deserve sunlight. Like I was meant to be alone and damned for what I did. I let the fear of being gay get into my head and I began to call out to the black parade for help. I lost myself in Gerard’s words and Bert McCracken’s screams. From November to about January I was in the darkest part of my life. My drug habit was becoming worse and I lost my friends. I hurt Sydney when I stupidly said I did not believe she was bi; I was hurting Logan for no reason, and I was coming to school fucked out my mind. I began to lose weight and became very weak. I wore makeup and would go overboard with the eyes. I thought I deserved to look as bad on the outside as I did on the inside. At that time I thought I was all alone, but I forgot that I had taylr right there listening to me. He was a great friend to me and I thank him for that. I think taylr actually sought me out, because he knew he could talk to me about relationships. He was called gay for being my friend, but he didn’t care. He saw that I didn’t base my whole life on my sexuality, and he respected me. He knew I was into music a lot, and he pushed me in a direction that would help me out later in life. I started to play the piano because of him, and I learned how to interpret music because of him. He was into the emo stuff and he introduced me to a lot of that music. All time low, etc. the pop punk stuff. He was straight edge then and didn’t like that I did drugs, but he never tried to change me. He just accepted me as I was, and let me be who I wanted to me. We got along so well during my second half of my junior year. I was getting acid from a boy I used to mess with named Michael browning, I knew him from Ronnie back when I was sophomore.

I should go on a little side story about my sexuality, the confusion, the confrontations, the revelations, and the religious disturbance inside of me when I learned what sin was, and the events that led to how I am now, but I will do this some other time. I don’t want to divert from the main story about my music history.

During my time spent with taylr, I met some people who shared my interest in music, clover, and Frankie the girls who dated each other, Alex the girl who dated cory for about a year, Hailey the Asian. Then I met Kaitlyn Becker.

We Are Gonna Friends – The White Stripes

Money for Nothing – Dire Straights

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – U2

Love Reign o’er Me – The Who

Peace of Mind – Boston

Foreplay/Longtime – Boston

The Tears of a Clown – Smokey Robinson

Dude Looks Like A Lady – Aerosmith

Sweet Emotion – Aerosmith

Train Kept a Rolling – Aerosmith

American Woman – Lenny Kravitz

Little Black Packback – Stroke 9

Don’t Tell Me – Madonna

American Life – Madonna

Die Another Day – Madonna

Love Profusion – Madonna

It’s My Life – No Doubt

Just a Girl – No Doubt

Bathwater – No Doubt

Sunday Morning – No Doubt

Hey Baby – No Doubt

Trapped in A Box – No Doubt

Spiderwebs – No Doubt

Addicted – Simple Plan

Mr. Brightside – The Killers

Starlight – Muse

Beautiful Soul – Jesse McCartney

I Say Yeah – Dream Street

Bye Bye Bye – N Sync

Pop – N Sync

It’s Gonna Be Me – N Sync

Incomplete – Backstreet Boys

As Long As You Love Me– Backstreet Boys

I Need You Tonight – INXS

Love Is A Stranger – Eurythmics

Serious – Gwen Stephani

Sugar We’re Going Down – Fall Out Boy

Emily – Elton John

Understanding Women – Elton John

Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

Error: Operator – Taking Back Sunday

Makedamnsure – Taking Back Sunday

Call Me When You’re Sober – Evanescence

Walk Away – Kelly Clarkson

Dirty Little Secret – The All American Rejects

Something to Save – George Michael

Praying For Time – George Michael

Controversy – Prince

Renegade – Styx

They Don’t Care About Us – Michael Jackson

Stranger in Moscow – Michael Jackson

The Way You Make Me Feel – Michael Jackson

Songs that describe me:

Girl You Really Got Me Now – The Kinks

Lola – The Kinks

A Well Respected Man About Town – The Kinks

Light My Fire – The Doors

(What A) Wonderful World – Sam Cooke

Hound Dog – Elvis Presley

Suspicious Minds – Elvis Presley

All Shook Up (30th Anniversary Edition of NBC-TV) – Elvis Presley

Sympathy for The Devil – The Rolling Stones

You Can’t Always Get What You Want – Rolling Stones

Miss You – Rolling Stones

I Can’t Get No Satisfaction - Rolling Stones

Gimmie Shelter – Rolling Stones

Let’s Spend the Night Together – Rolling Stones

Sound of Silence – Simon And Garfunkel

Under My Thumb – Tina Turner

Acid Queen – Tina Turner

Voodoo – Godsmack

The Kids Are Alright – The Offspring

The Missing Frame – AFI

Miss Murder – AFI

Love Like Winter – AFI

Kill Caustic – AFI

Endlessly She Said – AFI

The Leaving Song Pt. 2 – AFI

Bleed Black – AFI

Silver and Cold – AFI

Death of Seasons – AFI

Paper Airplanes – AFI

The Great Disappointment – AFI

But Home Is Nowhere – AFI

Rabbits Are Roadkill – AFI

Fall Children – AFI

The Boy who destroyed the world – afi

Totalimmortal – afi

The art of drowning – Afi

Black Sails – AFI

Shut your mouth – Afi

Fire on high – electric light orchestra

Get Your Gunn, Lunchbox, Antichrist superstar, Mechanical Animals, Holy Wood, The golden age of grotesque - Marilyn Manson

Dark Days – The Used

Mayday Parade

Earth Crisis

Escape the fate

Chiodos

Secondhand Serenade – A twist in my story

The Mars Volta – The widow, illeyna

Against me – new wave

Killing monsters in the rain, black eye – steel train

Books and letters, clouds – The Morning Light

Karate High School – League of Tomorrow

Ten Second Epic – boys will be boys

Chain Me Free, Sick Little Suicide, Salty Eyes, Papercut Skin, Clumsy Heart, Shoot Me in The Smile, Am Tilts, Wake the Sun, To Build a Mountain, Between Halloweens - The Matches

Nine in the Afternoon, Do You Know What I’m Seeing, That Green Gentleman, Pas De Cheval, Mad as Rabbits – Panic at The Disco

Second Hand News, Dreams, Never Going Back Again, I Don’t Wanna Know, Gold Dust Woman – Fleetwood Mac

Jefferson Starship

Jimi Hendrix

Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, With a little help from my friends, getting better, when I’m sixty four, a day in the life, Across The Universe, Hey Jude, Imagine, I want to hold your hand - The Beatles

Greatest Hits - Paul McCartney

Neutral Milk Hotel – King of Carrot Flowers

Great D.J., That’s Not My Name, Shut Up and Let Me Go - The Ting Tings

Viva La Cobra - Cobra Starship

Underdog Alma Matter - Forever the Sickest Kids

Brokencyde

3oh!3

That’s Classy - Breathe Carolina

Taste, Magnetic Baby, Genius, Time Zones - Semi Precious Weapons

The Pink Spiders

Billy Boy On Poison

Astronaut, Runs in The Family, Have to Drive - Amanda Palmer

The Academy Is – High School Album

Happy happy Joy Joy song

My Sharona – The Number Twelve Looks Like You

Hello Hooray, Sick Things - Alice Cooper

Space Oddity, Cygnet Committee, Wild Eyed Boy From Free Cloud, The Width Of A Circle, All The Madmen, She Shook Me Cold, The Man Who Sold The World, The Superman, Changes, Oh! You Pretty Things, Kooks, Quicksand, Queen Bitch, Moonage Daydream, Starman, Lady Stardust, Star, Ziggy Stardust, Rock n Roll Suicide, John I’m Only Dancing, My Death, Watch That Man, Drive In Saturday, Time, Let’s Spend The Night Together, Sweet Thing/Candidate/Sweet Thing (Reprise), Rebel Rebel, We Are The Dead, Station To Station, Golden Years, Word On A Wing, TVC15, Stay, Wild Is The Wind, Breaking Glass, What in The World, Sound And Vision, Always Crashing in the Same Car, A New Career In a New Town, Heroes, Blackout, V2-Schnider, Fantastic Voyage, Boys Keep Swinging, D.J., Look Back In Anger, It’s No Game Parts 1 and 2, Scary Monsters Super Freaks, Ashes to Ashes, Modern Love, China Girl, Never Let Me Down, I’m Afraid of Americans, 7 Years In Tibet, Hallo Space boy, The Hearts Filthy Lesson, Thursdays Child, Survive, Seven, What’s Really Happening, Cactus, Heathen (The Rays),Never let Me Down, - David Bowie

Fall Out Boy – I don’t care, w.a.m.s.

Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer? Skeletal Lamping – Of Montreal

Lotus Flower/MPLSound – Prince

Family Tradition, Ali For Cody, Chandelier – Sense Fail

Time to Pretend, Weekend Wars, Electric Feel, Kids, Of Moons Birds and Monsters – MGMT

I will possess your heart – death cab for cutie

Big Ten Inch Record, Sweet Emotion, You See Me Crying – Aerosmith

Defeater – Nameless Streets

Baker – Plans

Polar Bear Club – Living Saints

Fun – At Least I am Not as Sad

By Surprise – CB Radio

Therefore I am – I am only an island

A Loss fo words – stamp of approval

Transit- stay home

Lions lions – angles with dirty faces

These green eyes – paramedic

Death before dishonor – our glory days

Snowing – pumpfake

Drug rug – Hannah please

Mark schwaber – to be better

NOFX

A day to remember

All time low

p.o.s.

Jeffree star

hit the lights

aiden

lovehatehero

anti flag

Thursday

Paramour

Madina lake – statistic

There for tomorrow

You me at six

Thursdays Child, Survive, Seven, What’s Really Happening – David Bowie

Propagandhi

The Unthanks – Because he was a bonny lad

The boxer rebellion – the flashing red light means go

We fell to earth – lights out

Santogold – lights out

Edward sharpe and the magnetic zeroes – 40 day dream

Lovers in captivity – ima robot

Jay reatard – wounded

Paul McCartney – tripping the live fantastic

Elton John – Captain fantastic and the brown dirt cowboy

Cute is what we aim for – doctor

The spill canvas – all over you

Every avenue – think of you later

Bayside – you’ve already been

Four year Strong – so hot and sweat it out

Rise against

Foxy shazam – dangerous man

The Smiths – Greatest Hits

Placebo – everything

Chevelle – straight jacket fashion, sleep apnea, Mexican sun, shameful metaphors, letter from a thief, high lands apparition, Roswell’s spell, a new momentum

Jack the Ripper – AFI/Morrissey

Piccadilly Palare, The Last of the Famous International Playboys, Suedehead, Alma Matters, The Boy Racer, Irish Blood English Heart, I Have Forgiven Jesus, This World Is Full Of Crashing Bores, I’m Not Sorry, How Can Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel, I Like You, Dear God Please Help Me, Life Is a Pigsty, On The Streets I Ran, I Just Want To See The Boy Happy, Something Is Squeezing My Skull, Black Cloud, That’s How People Grow Up, I’m Throwing My Arms Around Paris, It’s Not Your Birthday Anymore, Sorry Doesn’t Help Us, I’m Ok By Myself, If You Don’t Like Me Then Don’t Look At Me, Gang lord, Dearest Love, Friday Morning, My Life Is An Endless Succession Of People Saying Goodbye – Morrissey

An unexpected rain, threesome, the universe listened, imagine that, what happens tomorrow, I need to wake up – Melissa Etheredge

Sing the changes – the firemen and Paul McCartney

Thriller (album) – Michael Jackson

No line on the horizon (album) – U2

Tonight (album) – Franz Ferdinand

London calling (album) – the clash

Live from royal albert hall – the killers

From now on we are enemies – fall out boy

The fame monster/the fame (albums) – lady gaga

Dead by sunrise- (out of ashes album)

The used – artwork (album)

The high end of low (album Marilyn Manson)

Crash love (album – afi)

Foo fighters – greatest hits

The get up kids – something to write home about (album)

Iggy and the stooges – raw power (album)

April 26th 2010 - 2020

A good start:

2010- Goldfrapp - Headfirst Nevershoutnever –What is love?

Lou Reed – Berlin: live at St. anns warehouse Rachel Yamagata Mika – The Boy Who Knew Too Much

A work in progress... I have 10 years to cover now.

0 notes

chiaroscuro-life · 5 years

Text

jan 12 2017

I was walking home from work – it was quite dark, as it normally does get around 7:30 here in Charleston. I was just walking along, a Panic At The Disco song had just finished and I was waiting for the next one on my playlist. Sia’s “Alive” started playing, and it was during the really soft part in the beginning when she sings

“I was born in a thunderstorm…”

And right on cue, there came a huge BOOM from behind me – a kind of roaring one akin to Sia’s thunderstorm – I almost kept walking because I thought one of my earphones had busted, or maybe a semi was passing by – but like the easily distracted son of a bitch I am, I turned around in time to see a little white sedan barreling toward me, smoke pouring from under the hood – it turned out the explosion had been the bumper and two side wheels that had been blown almost completely off. It rolled – maybe skidded – toward me and came to a rest, steaming as if it had just rolled out of a parking lot at Hell’s gate - I was kind of reminded of that scene from Back to the Future where Marty crash-lands into the barn - I started running toward it, my school bag and shoulder bag bumping wildly around me like saddlebags on a pack horse, headphones flying every which-way. Out of the corner of my vision an old man was walking towards us – I could barely remember anything; all senses had been muted by this overwhelming thought of WHOISINSIDEWHOISINSIDEGETTHEMGETTOTHEMGETTHEMBEAHEROGOGETTHEMSEEWHOITISCARCARCARSMOKESMOKEWHEELSGONEBUMPERGONEGETTHEREGETTHERE

I really have no words to describe it except for a crashing sense of urgency and a kind of thrill – here I was, about to pull a hero move like all the stories talk about – I would pull the poor person from behind the wheel – every lesson about being a bystander crashed through my head – everyone else thinks someone else will help so they don’t have to - I leaned down to the window, and even in the darkness I could see it was a young girl, crying hysterically, shaking – I motioned for her to roll the window down, and even through her hysterics she did. I bent down and kind of yelled at her “are you injured? Are you hurt? Are you ok?” and she shook her head, terrified, so I told her to come here, get out of the car on this side so you don’t walk into the highway, are you ok? What happened? And she could barely speak, she was shaking, she couldn’t remember – something about a blue pickup truck – that old man had reached us, stuttering something terrible; he looked like that kind of person that approaches you randomly and starts garbling about something, the kind of person you avert your eyes from and walk a little faster away from. I said (quite stupidly, I’ll admit), should we call somebody, and she said yes, yes, definitely, and I was kind of wary of the geezer looking at us, so I said aloud I’m calling the authorities- Damn. Authorities. What was I, some kind of stuck-up snoot, authorities – goddamn, someone give me an encyclopedia and a wedgie – I glanced over at the intersection to see who all was watching, and barely registered the old man walking back to his pickup truck – maybe I should have paid more attention to him (it wasn’t until after I left the accident that I began to put the pieces together: disoriented old man, old pickup truck, stopped in the middle of a busy road) but instead I pulled out my phone and dialed 911. I should probably thank God that my phone still had battery – I had been saving it all day so I could listen to music as I walked home – the lady on the phone sounded like every lady you hear on 911 – young and bored and seemingly disinterested about the hubbub on the other end – I am writing this down because I tend to forget things easily, especially in a moment of excitement. The girl was on the phone, jabbering to someone – I kind of hoped it wasn’t 911, because I was already on the phone, and me being the stupid idiot was thinking about how I didn’t want to disturb any more people – it’s that stupid self-deprecation talking again, fuck you Sarah – but at least it gave me something to do so I wasn’t standing there awkwardly as the girl was panicking – I really am such an idiot – the fire sirens were ringing in the distance, and they got so close I couldn’t hear the lady one the phone – she asked me for a description of the car that had hit Heather – that was her name – and I stupidly said it was an old pickup truck that sped off and headed towards North Charleston, still completely oblivious of the old man who was still sitting in his truck in the middle of the intersection ( I will never know if it was him but I’m pretty sure I pulled a fucking Where’s Waldo moment and completely missed it) but the firemen pulled up, kind of looked at us and said, “are you ok” and she was standing there, completely unhurt, and it was kind of awkward for 2 seconds until they said we’ll take it from here so I said thanks – wow, nice social skills – and Heather turned to me, her demeanor had taken a complete 180 and she said, quite articulately “well, I can’t ever thank you enough” and I can’t remember what I said in return but I know it came out as garbled as the old man’s voice – yeahyourewelcomebyeokbyeyeah – and walked off. Fucking walked off like I had tripped over something and just continued on my merry way – maybe I looked back once at the flashing lights – as I walked by the pharmacy I saw a father with his young daughter, maybe six years old, standing outside their car, watching from a safe distance, like car accidents are dainty spectator sports – it made me feel sick that everyone I saw watching just sat and stared, making no sound, no movement to help her, not even calling out, just watching, like the earth had come to a standstill and I was the only one pulling the strings to make things move – no one rolled down their windows; I saw two teen girls in a car at the intersection who were just staring stock still, open-mouthed, gazing intently at us and I felt a bristling sense of anger towards them – did they not care? Were they more interested in the morbidity of a car collision than actually helping? I take pride in myself for walking off (maybe not like a boss, but acting like it was no big deal) when in reality I do not remember the rest of the walk home because my heart was pounding, my eyes were streaming, and I felt like crying or screaming so loud to slow down the racing feeling I had – look at me, somebody, praise me for what I did – but that thought died as quick as it came. I knew that when I got home, no one would care what I had done. It was just a small blip on a field of millions of other blips. Maybe it’s the insecurity talking, but I don’t feel like I did anything too special. Yeah, I called 911, but it wasn’t like half Heather’s face was hanging off or like I had to drag her away from a burning car seconds before the gas tank exploded – Most people call that FUCKING INCREDIBLY GODDAMN LUCKY, given how things can go from bad to worse in nanoseconds. Would I have felt this way if I had saved a mangled body from twisted metal? Is that what it would take for me to finally feel good about myself? I guess this is God’s way of saying fuck off with your self-loathing and appreciate this opportunity for heroism and glory I’m giving you – I am glad it didn’t turn out worse, but I still felt worthless quickly after that. Heather was fine, I didn’t do anything except shout a bit and punch some buttons – others would say I was a hero. I don’t really feel like I deserve that, and that’s not about me being humble. I genuinely feel like I didn’t help enough. I know it’s stupid. I do. But it’s that self-hatred coming back to play, the knowledge that it would all go away – even Heather will forget about it someday. I got home, and Sarah yelled at me to do my schedule like she always does, and I felt like screaming at her I SAVED A FUCKING LIFE but also still not feeling like I did so it was an internal war topped with the thrill of the accident wrapped around my heart. She wouldn’t even take me seriously if I did say anything, and that part weighs on me like a 30 ton rock. No one takes me seriously. I was quiet. Is this what my father feels like? He does amazing things out of humility and for the better of others, and asks for no credit, no recognition, though he deserves it. Sarah has worked her black voodoo on all of us. She constantly siphons our self-worth and will to live completely away – as a matter of fact she just shouted at me why I wasn’t working more and I said it was because of my classes – the ones I needed to become a nurse – and she kind of scoffed at me in that kind of way that made you think you were not important – “you can’t afford to work. Really?” and I snapped back at her and she left me alone. I fucking hate everything a lot.

0 notes