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arcanefox207 · 2 months

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The Wolf You Feed (Part 1)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Rating: Explicit, 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 8k

Part 1 / ? (Ongoing Series)

Summary: Set in fictional New England town, you fall for your handsome, intense and outdoorsy neighbor while renting out your parent's vacant summer home during a brutal winter.

Warnings: No Outbreak, AU but with TLoU characters, Large age gap (Reader is 29. Joel is 50). This chapter includes smut with fingering and cum eating. Dominant Joel. Eventual Angst. Drinking Alcohol. Pet names but no use of Y/N. Reader is smaller than Joel and has hair he can grab.

Chapter Excerpt: He presses a gentle kiss behind your ear and another one drags to your jawline and to the soft meat of your neck. His coarse beard scrapes against your skin and makes you shudder. You press your ass into him and feel him hard against your lower back. He responds by pressing into you firmly and brings his mouth to your ear.

“You feel what you do to me, beautiful girl?” He asks with his low, gravely voice and presses another kiss into you. His heat is searing into you.

A/N: Please hang in there. This chapter has a lot of setup and is a bit of a slow burn. Its also my first fic and I am pouring my heart and soul into it.

A O 3 | M A S T E R L I S T | N O T I F I C A T I O N

“Remember, if you need anything you can ask Joel. He knows his way around the house” your mother reminds you.

“Thanks, I will be fine but I’ll keep that in mind.” You appease her but have no intention of bothering her neighbor.

“Love you, honey. Talk later!”

“Bye mom. Love you.” You end the call and slump back against the couch. This was going to be your home for the next few months. Your parents had gone south to avoid the brutal New England winter and had offered their summer vacation home in Kineo to you in the interim. No rent and plenty of free time to figure out what to do with your life next. All you had to do was pay the utilities and keep an eye on things.

The offer was genuine but also came from a place of concern. You had spent the last few years living a more-or-less nomadic life and poorly indulging your dreams of adventure. Your bachelors degree in Liberal Arts proving to be as useless as everyone told you it would be. It got you jobs easy enough but nothing that felt like a long term career. It all felt directionless but you also had been hell bent on proving everyone else wrong and keeping up the appearance that you were doing just fine.

Your past relationships were nothing too exciting either. Months of casually dating someone and it not really going anywhere or random hookups that you regretted the next day. One or two guys you were getting serious with but ultimately scared you off when they started talking about a family in their big picture. You were starting to get cynical about any compatible prospects.

You are only 29 and wonder if a midlife crisis before your 30’s is normal. At least, that is what it felt like was happening. You had been treading water for too long and felt like you were too tired to keep swimming.

Your mother finally wore you down enough when your lease was up at your Boston apartment and you had no real obligations. You hated your current job, your roommates were little more than acquaintances and the busy city life scene was starting to lose its charm especially when it was astronomically expensive to live there. It was getting harder to say no so you agreed to her offer.

You had to admit living in the country sounded like a nice change. You had a few months to figure stuff out and the thought of something new was exciting to you. Even if it meant continuing to endure the bitter winter, you had a chance to start fresh somewhere new. Something different.

You didn’t grow up here and spent most of your life living in suburban homes with slightly warmer climates. Your parents had bought a small one bedroom vacation home in a sleepy New England town that they mostly only enjoyed in the prime summer months. The home sat mostly vacant otherwise. They would rent it out for weeks at a time but in the winter months no one from away wanted to go there. Too far from ski resorts and civilization to be of interest to a casual vacationer. It had a lake that drew much attention from outsiders only when it wasn’t frozen. The town was reduced to just the year-round locals in the coldest months.

Your new residence was outside the main populous of Kineo and nearby the lake. In fact, you could see the lake peeking through the thick pine trees out the front window if you looked hard enough.

The closest and only neighbor in sight was the handyman your parents raved about across the street. He kept an eye on the place while they were away. You had never interacted with him on your occasional summer visits, but knew he had been kind to your folks and heard about him often enough. You occasionally saw him out in his yard from afar and he would give a lazy wave to your parents in passing. You never really got a good look at him up close but from what you could see he looked rugged and fit and always wore jeans and work boots. He had a modest waterfront cabin across the street and seemed to keep to himself.

You had arrived just a few days ago and already had a job lined up at the local coffee shop, Grind. You were getting your caffeine fix and saw a help wanted sign in their window and you had no trouble securing the job when you chatted with the owner. She hired you on the spot and seemed desperate but grateful that you actually had enthusiasm for coffee and knew your Americanos from your Lattes. Grind Coffee House was on the main drag along with some other quaint shops. It was charming enough and an easy 10 minute drive from your house. The pay was pitiful but would be enough to get by. Things seemed to be lining up perfectly.

You went to bed early that night and felt optimistic that this was going to be good for you. This was going to be the reset that you craved. A new adventure. It was like nothing you had experienced before and maybe that was exactly what you needed.

–

Shit. Your first day working at Grind and you can’t even get the car to start.

It was freezing cold. The kind of cold that hurts when it touches your exposed skin. You turn the key in the ignition again and the engine makes a pathetic attempt to turn over. Nothing. Fuck.

You turn the key again. Nothing. Fuck fuck fuck. You pull out your phone and realize you have no idea what to do other than call your new boss and make a horrible first impression. No, that wasn’t going to do. You look in the rearview mirror and see across the street that lights are on at your neighbors house, despite the early hour. As quickly as the thought crosses your mind you push it away. No. No way were you going to bother him at this hour. You hadn’t even officially met the guy yet.

You pull up Google on your phone and scan the first few results for “car won’t start” and narrow it down to engine troubles or dead battery. Either outcome is something you are not equipped to handle.

A few moments pass and you reluctantly weigh the options. Would a garage even be open this early? How long would that take to get someone out there? You were wasting time and had to do something. You curse to yourself and go back inside the house.

You walk over to the fridge where a note is hanging front and center “Joel Miller” with a phone number neatly printed. Your mothers careful handwriting to contact the poor neighbor that she probably harasses all the time. You sigh and open your phone to dial the number.

It rings a few times, and then you hear a gravelly voice that catches you off guard.

“Hello?” A deep and thick, unfamiliar accent answers. Not what you were expecting.

“Hi, Mr. Miller.” a long pause and you stumble over your words. “I uh, I’m sorry to call you so early. I'm Rick and Linda’s daughter.” and mumble your name. Another pause.

“Ah, right. Whatcha need, kid?” He asks with little expression in his tone. You can’t tell if he is annoyed or just sounded that way.

“My car won’t start and I–” you pause, not too sure how to ask for help from a stranger. “I don’t know what to do...” Your voice trails off with uncertainty on how to ask for help or what you are even expecting.

You hear a long exhale on the other end, like he is letting all the air out of his lungs while he is thinking on it.

“Dead battery most likely… on a day like this. I’ll be right over.” He hangs up the phone before you can say another word and instead say thank you out loud to yourself and let your voice trail off. You instantly regret making the call.

You zip up your coat, pull your knit hat snug over your ears and head back outside when you see a black Ford pickup truck ease into your driveway. A tall man wearing a brown suede jacket approaches. The morning light is faint but you can make out that he is much older and has some silver streaking his hair and beard. He looks weathered and rugged but also has a warmness about him that is hard to reconcile with his rough exterior.

“Joel Miller, I presume?” you nervously laugh and awkwardly introduce yourself for the second time. You attempt to be extra friendly and maybe penetrate his bristly wall. It seems to help when he notices you are a young woman and not some bratty teenager that your parents probably made you out to be. He takes a step forward and reaches a hand out towards you, nodding. He firmly shakes your hand and you are taken aback by how his grasp seems to engulf you.

“Pleasure to meet you, darling.” His voice is smooth and polite and has the tiniest hint of playfulness in his tone. You can’t place his accent, but you know it isn’t from around here and only someone from away would say ‘Darling’ so casually to a stranger.

His dark brown eyes hold your gaze for a moment and he has the faintest smirk as he subtly scans your body. It sends goosebumps down your spine. You are grateful that you made an extra effort to look cute for your first day of work. You realize your hands are still embraced and nervously laugh as you pull away. He gets right down to business, but not before stealing another peek of your body when he thinks you aren’t looking.

“Lets see what we got here.'' He climbs into the driver's seat and in no time confirms it's the battery when he hears your car's engine protest. He walks over to his tailgate and brings back some jumper cables.

You stand there with your arms wrapped around your body trying to hold in as much warmth as possible. Your bare hands clenched in a fist and tucked in as far as they could in your jacket sleeve to shelter from the cold. Your teeth chattering as you try to stand out of the way but want to be nearby too. At least give the illusion you can be helpful if he needs something. You regret your first meeting being a clueless damsel in distress, but maybe he liked that sort of thing. His tune did seem to change once he saw you.

Joel returns and leans over the edge of the seat leaving the door wide open, his large palm dragging up slowly from the floor to the steering column, searching for the hood release. His finger catches on the button and he pops the hood. It’s hard not to stare at him while he slides his expert hands with reckless abandon.

His eyes find yours and the corner of his mouth raises slightly. You question if you are mistaking his caught you watching me look for more than what it was. He seems to enjoy you watching him work. He steps away from the seat and pulls a pair of work gloves from his back pocket as he works to connect your car to his truck with the jumper cables. He starts his truck back up and approaches you. Your breath and his making little frozen clouds as you exhale.

“You can sit in my truck if you want, it’s plenty warm in there.” He gestures with his thumb over his shoulder. “This will just be a minute.” You thank him and take him up on his offer and climb into his passenger seat. He has a classical rock station playing on the radio. A thermos sitting in the center console. You glance in the back seat and see some neatly organized tools and miscellaneous junk on the floor. It smells metallic and leathery.

You outstretch your hands to the vents that are pouring warm air into the cabin and relish the heat.

A few moments pass and you don’t see much of what’s going on with the hood of the truck blocking your view. You doom scroll on Instagram to keep yourself busy but your mind keeps thinking about Joel. You were in no way prepared for your neighbor to be so fucking handsome. It felt absurd to be so turned on by him.

He’s too old. You tell yourself. Don’t even think about it.

Your thoughts are interrupted as the hood slams shut and Joel opens the driver's door. He reaches his arm out to grab his thermos while he climbs into the seat with a groan. The door shuts hard behind him and a blast of cold air invades your space briefly.

“Damn cold one today” He says it with a huff as more of an observation than a complaint. He takes a sip of his coffee and looks over to you. You nod in agreement and find yourself caught up in what to say to him. He pulls off his gloves and tosses them in his backseat. He rests his arm along the back of the seat and it is nearly touching your shoulder. The way his body takes up the space makes you feel small and helpless. Then, you remember you are small and helpless compared to him. He doesn’t feel threatening towards you but you certainly does give off the aura that he could be intense in the right circumstance. You find that undeniably attractive.

“Your folks called me last week. Told me you were gonna be staying here a while.” His eyes are back focused on you. “Meant to come over this weekend and introduce myself.” he seems a little nervous and takes another sip of his coffee. “Didn’t wanna bother you, though.”

You feel a small smile start to grow on your face. The thought that he shared the same reservations brought comfort. Joel rests his thermos between his legs while still holding it with one hand. He looks like he is hesitating to say something but does it anyway. He looks over at you with tender eyes,

“Didn’t expect.. You know...” He makes an unreadable expression as he is searching for the words and scans your body up and down. “Someone like you.” You were not entirely sure what he meant by that, but his smoldered stare on your body made you feel hot inside and your cheeks flush. He looked at you with intrigue and it made you feel good. It made you feel wanted. It had been too long since you felt that way.

In fact, it has been too long since you had any sort of relationship. Even a casual lay.

“You really saved my ass this morning. Thank you.” You pause and feel yourself giving a sultry gaze back at him. “I owe you one.” Joel makes a no big deal gesture with his hand and a cocky smile as he chews the inside of his cheek. In that brief moment you feel something between the two of you. The desire to flirt; tempt a man with at least 20 years on you. An unexpected but undeniable magnetic pull. A curiosity to learn what lies beneath. A forbidden fruit that is ripe and beckoning for you to take a bite. Something different. Something exciting. Something you know you should stifle before it even begins.

His eyes reflect the same sentiment but also harbor concern and restraint. It’s a bad idea. The brief silence between you looms loudly. The elephant in the room.

“Where ya’ off to so early anyways?” he asks, eager to change the subject. He takes another sip of his coffee while you reply.

“Oh, first day working at Grind. You know it?” Joel's demeanor changes in a subtle way that you may not have seen if you weren’t so focused on trying to read him.

“Oh. Yeah..” he chides and looks down, pensive in thought as he brings his hand to the back of his neck and rakes it through his hair. “I know the place.” He glances back up and avoids eye contact. The bite in his voice does not go unnoticed, but you don’t pry.

An uncomfortable subject; noted.

“Better coffee than this I reckon” he says as he places his thermos back in the center console. He attempts to lighten the tone and then glances at his watch.

“I gotta get to work, sweetheart. Keep your car runnin’ for a bit and you should be all set. Probably get that battery replaced.” His tone is more serious now, more business-like. You realize you had been waiting in his truck longer than necessary. You really have to get to work anyways.

You thank him again and return to your car. He waits for you to get in and raises his fingers off his steering wheel in a lazy wave to signal he was leaving. He backs out of your driveway and heads down the road towards town.

You take a deep breath and adjust the knobs in your car. Joel had put everything on high heat and full blast for you and your car was now unbearably toasty. You tune your radio and ease into the road and on your way to work.

All the while your mind can’t stop thinking about your charming, handyman neighbor.

So that's Joel Miller. You smile to yourself and faintly feel butterflies in your stomach. Anxious thoughts that excite and frighten you.

–

It took Marlene all of five minutes to become your new work bestie. She was efficient and smart and knew her way around the place. She was the only one working when you arrived and despite the line of customers she was friendly and teased you for arriving late on your first day.

Marlene had great rapport with everyone. It was apparent that the customers were all regulars and she wasted no time introducing you to them. She had a somewhat forward style but it was well received because she knew exactly what she was doing and didn’t waste time being flowery and over the top. It reminded you of the brashness of Boston.

After the morning rush things were relatively calm. You had time to chat and get to know her a little more while she was showing you the ropes. It wasn’t complicated and you were a quick study.

By mid afternoon it was time to close up shop. The hours were a perk. You were scheduled to work weekdays from open till close and would have to occasionally help out on Saturdays. Marlene worked the same shift and the weekends were mostly covered by high schoolers.

It was just after 2 o’clock when the owner, Tess, stopped by.

“How did it go?” she asks you both as she takes a seat and rests her bag on the counter. Marlene had no intention of telling her you were late and talked you up, pleased with your presence. Tess had a few other properties she owned so her time at the coffee shop was only as needed and Marlene you learnt was more or less the one who ran things day to day.

You recap the day and thank her again for the job. You did genuinely enjoy the work. It was easy. Simple and straightforward. You got to know lots of town folk and everyone was curious and interested in meeting the new girl in town.

Tess seemed pleased enough and was quick to head out. She was friendly but brief and gave the impression she had other responsibilities that demanded her attention. She joins you behind the counter briefly and pours herself a black hot coffee in a to-go cup. Another perk of the job was indulging in all the free coffee.

“Let me know if you guys need anything!” She says energetically as she collects her bag and heads out the door. She flips the sign to “closed” as she leaves.

“Tess is cool. She doesn’t interfere too much and we only see her a few times a week, if that.” You nod to acknowledge Marlene. “Lets finish cleaning up and get out of here.”

It was nice leaving with the sun bright and warm. Winter meant shorter days, so getting out of work with a few hours of daylight felt luxurious. The bitter cold from the morning had made its departure.

You had been so focused with work it wasn’t until you got back to your car that you allowed yourself to think about Joel again. You know you shouldn’t but can’t help feeling turned on at the thought of him. He was handsome in that brooding, mysterious way and he emanated competence. It was refreshing and welcomed.

You decided to send him a text message. You had his number in your recent contacts after all and you were curious if he would play along. You were certain that there was something sparked between the two of you, but unsure if he would act on it. Unsure if there were too many obstacles between you.

You keep it simple and friendly.

You: Thanks again for your help!

Your car starts up with no issue and you head home. When you arrive you glance down to your phone to see a simple reply.

Joel: Anytime

It was brief but you couldn’t help but read it with that low, southern drawl. His voice was so distinct. Polite but stern. You add him as a contact in your phone and wonder if he did the same.

You take a shower, make some dinner and get comfortable in your bed. It’s early and you watch some TV when you hear your phone chime. You glance at your phone and see Joel Miller has you on his mind as he revives the conversation with you.

Joel: So how did it go?

You smile and recount this feeling like you were a teenager talking to your crush. You want to gush about your first day but you play it cool and brief.

You: Went good, I think I’ll like it there

A few minutes pass. Against your better judgment you start to go into details but delete it before you hit send. You recalled his strange reaction earlier when you brought up Grind. This man has you second guessing yourself and you don’t want to blow it before it even begins. He replies instead before you elaborate.

Joel: Glad to hear. Thought you would.

You: I’m exhausted though, getting to bed

You decide to be playful and see how he reacts.

You: Goodnight, Mr. Miller.

Joel: Just Joel.

Joel: Goodnight darling

Darling. Even if it was just a typical Southern phrase it made you wild. It was uncommon to hear in the north and felt so endearing and warm. The knots in your stomach return as you struggle to fall asleep. Your mind is too excited to see where things go from here. You knew he was interested in you enough to keep talking. It would have been easy for him to end the conversation there and keep things formal and neighborly.

Your mind wanders thinking about how truly handsome he is. How badly you want his manly, rough hands on your body. How his voice makes you melt. How his domineering presence makes you tingle in your core. You feel yourself starting to get wet just at the thought of his body and what you wanted to do to it. What you wanted him to do to you. Sinful thoughts.

You slide your hand between your legs and feel yourself already wet and wanting. Your delicate fingers tease circles over your clit and it doesn’t take long before you get off. You feel ashamed to be lusting over an old man you barely know, but nevertheless wish it was Joel’s rough hands on you.

You wonder if he is doing the same thing and sharing the same thoughts about you.

–

A few uneventful days go by and now it’s Friday. You haven’t seen much of Joel other than his truck occasionally driving off, but he had been stuck on your mind all week. Lonely nights accompanied by dirty thoughts of Joel that only fueled your yearning to get closer to him. Your inhibitions regarding age and disapproval of your parents were blinded by your building desire. It still weighed on you though. Your parents would be appalled and probably disown you if they knew. It would just be another tick on the disappointment list.

Work is busy and the day flies by. Just a few hours to go. You are taking a break, sitting at one of the tables by the front window and snacking on a blueberry scone. You reason with yourself that tonight is as good as any to try to make something happen.

You: You doing anything tonight?

An agonizing hour passes and no reply. Your message is on read. Marlene takes notice of your change in demeanor. When things finally slow down and its just the two of you waiting around to close up she presses you.

“So.. whats going on? You look distant.”

“Just trying to… make friends here.” You pause. “A friend in particular.” Your voice trails off. Marlene catches on quick and she had suspected you were starting to fall for someone.

“Anyone I know?” Marlene knows everyone. You don’t want her judgment on the matter so you keep it vague.

“My neighbor. He doesn’t seem the type to come to a place like this though.” Your phone chimes and you try to play down your excitement as you look down and see it’s from Joel. You can barely contain a smile.

Joel: Just got done a job. No plans

Marlene searches your face and rolls her eyes.

“Just go over then. Easy enough.” she was right.

“Yeah, I think I will.”

The rest of the shift goes by quickly and you are both out the door by 3 o’clock.

You sit in your car and decide to just call him already. You were craving to hear his voice again and you wanted to put him on the spot. He answers quickly.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Joel. I still owe you, you know for helping me out earlier.” Joel sighs in defeat.

“I see you aint lettin’ that go. What did ya have in mind?”

“Can I come over tonight? I’ll bring over drinks.” Your offer was more forward than you intended, but you went with it.

“Yeah, ok. Sounds good.” He pauses and has a counter offer for you. “Come over for dinner first?” You melt at the thought and realize you haven’t responded and there is a silence while you are getting lost in your thoughts. “Grilling steaks. Nothin’ fancy.”

“Yeah. Sounds good.” You can feel your smile spilling into the phone. That sounds more than good. It sounds really fucking good.

“Alright. Come over ‘round 7.”

“Ok. See you tonight.” You end the call and take a deep breath. Your heart is beating out of your chest in excitement.

–

Getting ready for the night you attempted a relaxed look. You wanted to look nice, but approachable. You had some worn jeans that tucked neatly into your Bean boots. A button down flannel that you left undone over an intentionally low cut, fitted shirt. It accented your chest just right. You wore your hair down and went light on the makeup. You threw on a light leather jacket and grabbed the six pack of beer as you head across the street.

Joel opens the door and leans in the doorframe with a casual figure, taking you in while he bites his lip,

“Evening' sweetheart” He steps back and holds the door open for you and gestures to come in. He was definitely a gentleman. You normally are not a fan of the pet names, but he worked them into his vocabulary so smoothly it was welcomed.

You step inside and turn around, holding up the six pack of beer.

“Sam Adams. That ok?” He shuts the door and nods in approval. “Figured I’d bring some Boston culture over.” You step further inside. His kitchen is just off the main entrance and has an island with some bar stools at it. You make your way over and take a seat and rest the case on the countertop.

Your eyes scan the room. His kitchen is tidy, save the spot where he prepped the steaks. You see an empty whiskey glass. Evidence that he had at least one stiff drink before you came over. You panic a little and regret not doing the same.

“That where you lived before this?” He interrupts your thought as he stands across you at the island. His crossed forearms holding him up as he leans towards you with intrigue. He is dressed plainly in a pair of worn jeans and a plain navy blue t-shirt that hugs his arms just right. His biceps bulge as he is leaning forward and your mind is now preoccupied with just how broad his shoulders are. You almost forgot he asked you a question.

“Yeah, for a few years anyways.” You briefly recount, distracted when Joel takes a beer bottle from the case and effortlessly pops the cap with his large, calloused hands. A satisfying hiss escapes the bottle followed by a clink as the cap falls to the countertop. He slides it over to you and repeats the motion again for himself.

“Oh, wow.” you say out loud, without realizing it. Joel has that cocky side smirk again, well aware of his impressive party trick. He holds the bottle up and towards you and you do the same, clanking bottle necks together and taking a sip. Your eyes are locked on each other for a moment; trying to read each other's intentions.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’m gonna put the steaks on.” he gestures his head to the back door that leads onto the deck. He grabs his suede jacket off the back of a chair and walks towards the back entrance. You trail behind and this was the first time you really noticed just how beautiful his home was.

His open living room and kitchen had a vaulted ceiling with massive windows lining the whole back side of the cabin. It faced the lake and you could imagine how serene it would be to watch the sunrise. The cedar walls and flooring made it feel cozy and inviting. There was a large wood stove in the center of the living room and an open loft above the back of the living room. The deck seemed to wrap along a good part of the home.

“Your home is beautiful.” It had looked so much more discrete from the road; tucked behind some pines and a long driveway. The backyard was a short distance to the lake and sloped slightly down to a dock. Joel probably had a boat parked there in the summer. The cabin was perched perfectly with a breathtaking view; isolated and private from the world.

“Thank you. I built it myself. Me and my brother Tommy.”

“Thats… impressive.”

“Eh, just comes with being a contractor. Made more sense to build my own place the way I wanted.” There it was again, that feeling in your core that excites you. Joel likes to be in control, and he has the skill set to back it up making it all the more alluring.

Its a cool night, but not uncomfortably cold to be outside for a few minutes with a jacket. In fact, you are grateful to have the crisp air to help ground you and calm you down. It was embarrassing how easily Joel could work you up. You lean over the railing and gaze out over the lake while he tends to the grill for a moment and then joins you at the railing.

“I spent a few years there myself. Boston.” This was news to you, but you were still curious about his Southern accent.

“And… before?”

“Texas.” He takes a sip of his beer. “Most my life.” You smile and give a slight laugh.

“Well, that certainly explains things. You don’t exactly sound like a New Englander” you tease him. Joel laughs and looks a little distant. Something you have come to realize about Joel is that he has a lot on his mind he doesn’t say out loud. His mysterious demeanor was something you found as attractive as it was frustrating.

“You like it here so far?” He asks.

“I do. Its simple and peaceful. Life is easy here.” you realize while saying this out loud that you mean it. You really are enjoying your time in Kineo more than you ever had expected. “And… my neighbor isn’t so bad.” You tease. Joel rolls his eyes and returns to the grill, pulling the steaks off.

“Mine is a pain in the ass.” He jokes as he closes the grill. He wasn’t wrong. You were persistent if anything.

–

Dinner is laid back and enjoyable. He has a small dining room table but you choose to sit next to each other at the island drinking your Sam Adams and enjoying your ribeye steaks. Joel cooked them to perfection. You stay seated long after you are done eating, getting carried away with conversation. Your bodies are facing each other and knees knocking into his as you get animated with your storytelling.

Joel mostly listens while you ramble on. The more you drink the lower your inhibitions get. You are a lightweight to begin with and it doesn’t take much. You don’t even notice that he isn’t really listening to you anymore. His focus has left your well intended words and shifted to your body. He’s looking at your low-cut shirt teasing him. The way you brush your hair out of your face when you laugh. How your neck looks so inviting when you tilt your head back to take a sip of beer, You don’t register that he is eyeing you crudely like you are a piece of meat. That he is fighting every urge inside him to just lose himself with you.

He inches his hand along the countertop closer to yours until he is grazing your wrist with a light touch and dragging his fingers back across yours. It sends a shiver through your body as you become aware how he is looking at you and how painfully reserved his touch is. It is polite but intrusive. He watches how it makes you feel. How you start to come undone.

Your pent up feelings are starting to overwhelm you and you excuse yourself reluctantly. Your heart starts to race and you wonder if he can hear it beating.

You get up and bring your plate over to the sink to wash it. It is a distraction more than anything while you gather yourself. Joel watches you from behind for a moment. You can feel his gaze burning into you and brace yourself against the counter. You like the way it feels. The way he makes you feel wanted.

That loud silence returns. The air in the room feels heavy. He joins you at the sink and you can feel his heat envelop you as he approaches you from behind. His broad body boxes you in and makes you feel small and vulnerable.

Joel takes his hands and dances his fingers down your arms lightly. His touch starts a fire inside you and you crave a heavier hold. You need him like you need air in your lungs. He presses a gentle kiss behind your ear and another one drags to your jawline and to the soft meat of your neck. His coarse beard scrapes against your skin and makes you shudder. You press your ass into him and feel him hard against your lower back. He responds by pressing into you firmly and brings his mouth to your ear.

“You feel what you do to me, beautiful girl?” He asks with his low, gravely voice and presses another kiss into you. His heat is searing into you.

He agonizingly slides his hands down to your hips and turns you to face him. He pushes your body gently against the countertop and moves one of his hands up to caress your face. He presses his hips into you and holds your chin gently between his thumb and finger. He stares down at you with a thirst in his eyes. He narrows his focus to try to get a reading on you. Your mouths are just inches apart. There is a hunger he is resisting but the wolf inside is slowly starting to win over reason.

“I want this, Joel.” You stare up at him and make sure he can see the desire in your eyes and that you are serious. You want to remove any hesitations he has on your account. You try to rock your hips into him but he has you pinned. He can feel your needy attempt.

“We shouldn’t…” Joel pleads, but his words are empty and not speaking the same language as his body.

Your age, your parents, your unfamiliarity with one another all should be reason enough to quelch this flame, but it just makes you want it that much more. He has wanted you since he first laid eyes on you that morning he came to your rescue. He wants to be respectful but fails, instead teasing you with how much he wants you. The hesitance is an illusion that he has kept up until that moment. Your body is trapped against his and he is looking at you like you are prey in his clutches. You had suspected and even hoped that Joel was a dominant lover with how confident he carried himself.

You seize the opportunity to show him just what he is doing to you.

You push your tongue into him and taste him; sweet and malty. His warm and wet mouth is inviting and intense. All reluctancy fades away as he gives in to you and takes control with his tongue. You can feel his cock is hard and straining against his jeans as he rocks into you. Your arms hang around his neck and tangle into his hair as you grind against each other. The friction of both your bodies sending each other into a frenzy.

He drags his mouth away, biting at your lower lip as he moves along your jawline to the soft skin at your neck. You stretch your head back giving him full access to your bare neck as he nips at you hungrily. His scruffy beard rubs roughly against your supple skin and feels so good. One hand roams up your shirt while his mouth traces lower and lower down to your collarbone. He thumbs and circles over your nipple. He can feel it harden through your bra and engulfs your breast with his large hand. His touch is brazen but you welcome it. You can feel just how badly he wants to devour you and it makes you moan.

He slides his expert hand from your breast and drags it down to your jeans. He unbuttons them hastily with force and works his hand slowly inside. Your underwear is already wet from your arousal. He pulls his mouth away from you and has a devilish grin as he grabs at your pussy and narrows his eyes on you.

“You’re so wet for me.” He says breathlessly with anticipation while he has you in his grasp.

He slides his hand inside your waistband and teases your clit as his hand slides against you. You want to reply to him but your words are trapped beneath the moans caught in your throat. He brings a finger to your opening and slowly pushes the tip inside you. The pressure from his large, calloused fingers makes you buck into him. He rubs his thumb over your clit as he slowly teases your entrance with his finger. He takes it slow and when he thinks you are ready he slips another one inside.

You can feel your walls clench around his obscenely thick fingers and he pushes deeper. Twisting and playing at your entrance and thrusting in. Your hips writhe in his grasp. While one hand is busy with your cunt the other has an iron grip on the back of your neck. His mouth messily returns to the soft skin above your collarbone and into the crook of your neck. You are completely at his mercy and can’t imagine any other place you’d want to be.

You are so tight but he stretches you open artfully. Moans escape your lips as you gasp when his fingers dip further into you, reaching that perfect part deep inside.

“Come for me.” He pants into you with a snarl as you convulse on him.

He doesn’t let up and fucks you relentlessly with his fingers until you are coming and moaning his name. Incoherent expletives escape you while you soak him.

You ride the wave of pleasure for as long as you can. It has been too long since you had fucked around with someone. However, no one had ever so masterfully gotten you off with just their fingers. The way he handled your body and worshiped you with his mouth was intoxicating.

As you come down from your high he slides his wet fingers from inside you and pulls his mouth away with a final ravenous kiss on your swollen lips. He places a kiss on top of your head and pulls you in close for an embrace. The hard protrusion against your body makes itself painfully known.

Joel presses his forehead against yours as he works to unzip his jeans and free himself. His fingers are wet with your slick. He smirks at you as his hand glides over his swollen cock and rubs your wetness all over his length. His breathing shallows as he strokes himself with one hand and braces his body on the countertop with the other. His swollen head grazes your belly with each thrust into his fist.

You watch him wantonly as he palms himself with more vigor. Joel’s cock is thick and intimidating, but you crave it in the worst way. It is by far the largest you have ever seen. It glistens in your slick and the precum that was beading at the head. A desire builds inside you and you yearn for more of Joel. Want him in your hands, your mouth, your cunt.

“Let me, please?” your voice comes out barely above a whisper. His hand slows and comes to a stop. He stretches out his arms to hold him up against the counter as he hovers above you and lets you take over.

You reach out and grab on to him. You marvel at its size and how weighty it feels in your hands as you start to rub them up and down. His skin is hot and velvety smooth and pulled tightly. Your pace is much slower but more precise. You feel the veins bulge under your grasp as your fingers glide up and down his length.

A moan hitches in his throat as you rub your thumb over his sensitive tip. You do it again and again. Teasing Joel Miller feels dangerous. You can feel how ragged he is and how close he is to coming. You want to make him come undone.

“God, damn it.” Joel grunts under his breath. He peels back your hand and painfully pulls it off of him. His cock twitches at the loss of your touch. He stands up straight and towers over you as you shrink back.

“Get on your knees.” He commands with his hand firmly on your wrist as he pulls your face closer to his. It sends a shiver through your body and you oblige. Any warmth in his eyes has been lost and he is staring at you; dark and menacing. He throws your wrist away and grips his hand along the side of your neck. His touch is rough and urgent. His fingers snake around to the back of your neck as he pulls you closer to him while you drop down. They twist into your hair and he has a hold on the back of your head. It doesn’t hurt, but his grasp is firm and might if you tried to fight it.

He takes his cock back in his grasp with his other hand and pumps it. His movements are jerky and his breathing is labored. You can tell he is so close. He roughly pulls your head back by your hair to look up at him.

“You gonna’ finish what you started?” he asks with darkened eyes. “Then open up.” He commands you through clenched teeth.

You respond with an uncontainable smirk. You part your mouth slowly and let your tongue hang out, never taking your eyes off his. You sit back onto your knees so that you are slightly under him and wait patiently. He widens his stance. His hand slides to the top of your head and tangles in your hair. You can feel him slowly starting to lose control and come undone before you while he strokes himself. You brace yourself, hooking your fingers into the back of his thighs and clawing at his jeans. You can smell his sex and feel his heat but he holds you just out of reach and makes you wait while your thirst grows.

Finally he taps the head of his weighty cock against your tongue and you lick at his slit, sending him over the edge. He groans as his thick spend coats your tongue and drips messily onto your chin. You close your mouth around him as he begins to stall out and swallow, pulling the final drops of cum from him while you choke his cock with your mouth.

“Good girl.” He rasps at you. “So fucking good.” His grip on you loosens and he tenderly drags his hand along your jawline. You relax your mouth and let him slide himself out. He groans when your tongue licks the underside of him as he pulls out.

He thumbs over some of his mess that falls out of your mouth and curls his thumb over your bottom lip. You lick him clean and he moves to hold your face in his hands while you look up at him.

“My good girl.” His words shoot straight to your core and make you weak. He brushes your hair behind your ear and helps you up. He places another kiss on your head and wraps his arms around you. His hot and heavy body feels so good against yours. You tilt your head up and press your mouth into him one more time.

“Are we even now?” you joke. Joel smiles. Everything about him feels warmer. He peels himself away from you and steps back, leaning against the island. You adjust your clothes and zip yourself back up while he does the same.

“Actually… think I might owe you now.” Joel says with a playful tone. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and shakes his head at you like he can’t believe his predicament. You like the idea of Joel owing you.

–

You don’t spend the night. He offers to walk you home but you opt to go alone. It felt good to get some fresh air, to clear your head and recap the night. You also wanted to leave him wanting more.

You weren’t sure what would come from this situation with Joel, but you knew you barely scratched the surface with him. He was rough around the edges but you liked that about him. You liked that a lot.

END CHAPTER

(Part 2!)

A/N: More to come! Undecided how many chapters but I have quite a bit mapped out. Please be kind. This is my first fic and it is nerve wrecking to post! If you loved it, PLEASE let me know. I'd love to know your thoughts so far! What did you like? What do you want more of? How much angst can your heart take? I aim to test it in future chapters. Comments/Reblogs are appreciated so much. Thank you all

Also special thanks to @magpiepills for the lovely cover photo (and her mood board inspirations she helped with along the way!) and to both her and @legendary-pink-dot for reading my first draft and giving their feedback AND courage to post this.

If you wish to know when I post the next chapter, please follow @ArcaneFoxFics and turn on notifications!

If you are here for my gifs only and are like WTF I dont want to see this mature content... you can follow me over at @ArcaneFoxGifs which will ONLY be reposts of my gif sets.

Love to my friends who give me the courage and support to do all the things @magpiepillsjunior @legendary-pink-dot @exquisiteserotonin @youandmeand5bucks @redhotkitchen @sparklefarts38 @pink-whiskey-woman @for-a-longlongtime @secretelephanttattoo

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #the last of us #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfiction #the wolf you feed #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #New England Joel #joel miller x you #joel tlou #joel miller series #fic: the wolf you feed #pedro pascal characters #joel miller fanfic

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stalkerofthegods · 6 months

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Dionysus & Bacchus cheat sheet deep dive

Signs he's reaching out • smelling wine all of a sudden, craving wine, You feel a twinge of madness, dreams with his attributes with him, seeing references of him everywhere

Herbs •psalakanthos plant, Grapes and their vines, Figs, Bay laurel, Barley, Pine, Pomegranate, Fennel, apples, berries, weed, Silver Fir, Bindweed, poppy, wheat and hops leafs, wildflowers, pine cones, Apple seeds, Blazing star. I think he would like Cinnamon, mint, feverfew (happiness), Pepper, basil, chives, horseradish (courage), orange, lemongrass, marjoram (insight), vanilla, sorrel, cinnamon (love)

Animals• Oxen and wild animals, asses, Leopards, Panther, Cheetah, serpents, rams, dolphins, tigers, lynx, panthers, goats, bats, griffons, bulls

Colors •purple, green, gold, Red, Black, White.

Patron of• fruit and intoxitation, Parties, Festivities, Banquets, Drinking, Bacchic Revelry, Madness, Bacchic Frenzy, Insanity, Hallucination, Homosexuality, Effeminacy, Cross-dressing, Forest Wilderness, Wild vegetation, Predatory big cats, Reincarnation, The path to Elysium, Comedy and Tragedy Plays, Playwrites, Actors, bartenders, the arts, non-binary people.

Curses• violence, and sickness, Destructive insanity, madness

Blessings• pleasure and fun, Religious frenzy (in the orgiastic cults), Ecstasy, Afterlife in Elysium (paradise), getting a bigger friend group, charismatic going up, getting a romantic partner.

Diety of• wine-making, orchards, fruit, vegetation, fertility, festivity, insanity, ritual madness, religious ecstasy, theatre, partying, Epiphany, weddings, death, sacrifice, sexuality, dancing, immortality, and reincarnation, uninhibited freedom, as well as the subversion of the powerful, ecstasy, and abandon, swamps and marshes.

Crystals• Amethyst, grape agate, Garnet, Ruby, deep red stones, tiger eye, serpentine, leopard jasper, amber, green opal or jade, carnelian, rose quartz (someone had it on their alter for him, so I added it here.), bloodstone, sugilite, purple fluorite, ametrine lepidolite

Mortal or immortal • immortal

Zodiac • Taruas

Vows/omans• none

Number• 7

Morals• he is morally ambiguous

Married to• Ariadne

Past lovers• Althaia, Ampelos, Aphrodite, Erigone, Kronois, Pallene, Physokoa, Polymnos.

What he favors in devotees• free-spirited, out-of-the-norm, wild lifestyle, gender fluid, transgender, nonbinary people. People are restricted wanting to become free.

Personality• He brings joy, ecstasy, and merriment, but also delivers "brutal and blinding rage”, he's a very chill guy, many say he is sassy. I met him once, and he respects people's boundaries.

Home• Mount Olympus

Equivalents/most resemblance • Osiris, Hades, Sabazios, Yahweh, Bacchus, Liber, Tammuz, Orotalt, Fufluns, Acan, Jesus.

Epithets• Acratophorus, Ἀκρατοφό.ρος “giver of unmixed wine at Phigaleia in arcadia, Acroreites at Sicyon Adoneus a Latinised form of Adonis and is also used as an epithet for Bacchus, AegobolusΑἰγοβόλος "goat-shooter" at Potniae in Boeoria, Aesymnetes Αἰσυμνήτης “ruler" or "lord" at Aroë and Patrae in Achaea, Agrios Ἄγριος "wild", in Macedonia, Androgynos Ἀνδρόγυνος ”Androgynous” specifically in intercourse referring to the god taking both an active male and a passive female role, Anthroporraistes, Ἀνθρωπορραίστης “man-destroyer" a title of Dionysus at Tenedos, Bassareus, Βασσαρεύς "fox-skin", which item was worn by his cultists in their mysteries. Bougenes, Βουγενής or Βοηγενής “borne by a cow", in the Mysteries of Lerna,

Braetes, Βραίτης "related to beer" at Thrace, Briseus Βρῑσεύς "he who prevails" in Smyrna, Bromios Βρόμιος "roaring” and "roar of thunder" refering to the wind amd primarily relating to the central death/resurrection element of his myths and also the god's transformations into lion and bull and of those who drink alcohol and refers to Dionysus' father, Zeus "the thunderer", Choiropsalasχοιροψάλας “pig-plucker" Greek χοῖρος = "pig"(which was used as a slang term for the female genitalia as A reference to Dionysus's role as a fertility deity), Chthonios Χθόνιος “the subterranean”, Cistophorus Κιστοφόρος "basket-bearer and ivy-bearer" because baskets are sacred to the Dionysus,Dimetor Διμήτωρ "twice-born" which Refers to Dionysus's two births, Dendrites Δενδρίτης "he of the trees" as a fertility god, Dithyrambos Διθύραμβος used at his festivals referring to his premature birth, Eleutherios Ἐλευθέριος “the liberator" also a epithet shared with Eros, Endendros ("he in the tree"), Enorches "with balls" with reference to his fertility, or "in the testicles" in reference to Zeus' sewing the baby Dionysus "into his thigh" which means his testicles used in Samos and Lesbos, Eridromos"good-running" in Nonnus' Dionysiaca, Erikryptos Ἐρίκρυπτος "completely hidden" in Macedonia, Euaster Εὐαστήρ from the cry "euae", Euius (Euios), from the cry "euae" in lyric passages, and in Euripides’ play “the bacche, Lacchus Lακχος a possible epithet which is associated with the Elusinian Mysteries, The name "Iacchus" may come from the Ιακχος (Iakchos) whicj is a hymn sung in honor of Dionysus.

Indoletes, Ἰνδολέτης, meaning slayer/killer of Indians Due to his campaign against the Indians, Isodaetes, Ισοδαίτης, meaning "he who distributes equal portions", cult epithet which is also shared with Helios, Kemilius, Κεμήλιος and kemas: "young deer, pricket",

Liknites "he of the winnowing fan", as a fertility god connected with mystery religions ( a winnowing fan was used to separate the chaff from the grain.)

Palazzo Massimo, Rome, Lenaius, Ληναῖος "god of the wine-press", Lyaeus, or Lyaios Λυαῖος, "deliverer” and "loosener") which refers to him as who releases from care and anxiety,

Lysius, Λύσιος "delivering, releasing" At Thebes there was a temple of Dionysus Lysius, MelanaigisΜελάναιγις "of the black goatskin" at the Apaturia festival,

Morychus Μόρυχος “smeared" in Sicily, because his icon was smeared with wine less at the vintage, Mystes Μύστης "of the mysteries" at Tegea in Arcadia, Nysian Nύσιος according to Philostatus he was called like this by the Ancient indians Most probably, because according to legend he founded the city of Nysa, Oeneus, Οἰνεύς "wine-dark" as god of the wine press, Omadios “flesh-eater", Eusebius writes in Preparation for the gospel that Euelpis of Carystus states that in Chios and Tendos they did a human sacrifice to Dionysus Omadios,

Phallen , (Φαλλήν) (probably "related to the phallus” at Lesbos, Phleus "related to the bloοm of a plant", Peudanor Ψευδάνωρ "false man" referring to his feminine qualities in Macedonia,

Pericionius, Περικιόνιος "climbing the column (ivy)" a name of Dionysus at Thebes, Semeleios or Semeleius or Semeleus an obscure epithet meaning 'He of the Earth' and 'son of Semele' Also “Son of Semele, Iakchus, wealth-giver”,

Skyllitas, Σκυλλίτας “related to the vine-branch" at Kos, Sykites, Συκίτης "related to figs" at Laconia,Taurophagus, Ταυροφάγος “bull eating", Tauros Ταῦρος “a bull", Theoinus, Θέοινος wine-god of a festival in Attica, Τhyiοn, Θυίων "from the festival of Dionysus 'Thyia' (Θυῐα) at Elis", Thyllophorus, Θυλλοφόρος "bearing leaves" at Kos, Dionysus and Zeus absorbs the role of Sabazios (a Thracian/Phrygian deity)

Facts• Dionysus was the last god to enter Olympus, When Dionysus had grown up lady Hera made him into a state of madness so he wandered through many countries of the earth, He was a student of the famous centaur Chiron who taught him how to dance, The common names Dennis and Denise are said to be derived from Dionysus. he hated the sight of an owl

Roots• Ancient Greece, Greek mythology, Mount Pramnos on Ikaria

Offerings • Honey, Meat, Alcohol (especially wine), Fruit, Cakes, Poetry, Songs, Spices (ex- cinnamon), Blood or liquids resembling blood, He thinks those "wine mom" signs that you get in cheap gift shops are hilarious, Grape juice, Intoxicants, Grapes, Olive oil, Apples, Figs, Eggs, Goblets, Curved daggers, Bull horns, Snake skin, Leopard or tiger print objects, Purple candles, Theatre masks, Sexual toys, Percussion instruments, Wine bottles, Fake/toy grapes, Leaves or curls from grapevines, Pine needles, Pinecones, Apple seeds, Bindweed, Wildflowers, Toys photos or art of any big cats, snakes, Hymns, Songs you’ve written, Any art that you create, Any stories that you create, Art, pictures of the comedy, Wine corks, Wine labels, Toy or miniature drums, milk, water from the sea (he has a strong connection with the sea), Decorative beads, party beads, flashy jewelry, Wine glasses, Shot glasses, Corkscrews, Sparkling cider, Grape flavored things, Cheese, hallucinogens, Nips (small alcohol bottles), Bottle opener, Beer/soda tabs, Alcohol bottles with cool labels, Costumes, NatureFig/fig newtonsBull imagery, Donkey imagery, Bones, Antlers, Dead/preserved animals, Hiking gear, Seeds, Concert/festival tickets, Locks of hair, Shaven beard hair, Pride swag, ravagant clothes/clothes that make you feel good.

Devotional • learn about sacred sex, shamanic journeying, responsible entheogen use, and alcohol as a sacrament, read “The Secret History” book, Make a playlist for Him, Dance and sing to your favorite songs or songs you’d think He would like, Throw a feast in His honor, Remembering to take your medication and taking care of your mental health, Support/donate to your local theatre in His name, Be a part of the theatre, Stand up for those that are marginalized, Write stories/plays for Him, Invite Him to watch plays or movies with you (especially comedies or tragedies), Throw parties or attend them, Attend festivals, Attend a wine tasting, Go on wine tours, Attend parades, Masturbate or partake in sexual acts for Him (if you’re comfortable doing so And over 18), Drink alcohol or grape juice, Smoke po, Learn about winemaking, Support local vineyards, Wear wreaths made from ivy, Wear faux leopard or tiger print, Wear the color purple, Pray to Him for things while intoxicated/high, Visit your local winery and participate in a grape-stomp, do some Homebrewing in his honor, Grow a garden in his honor, Make your own ritual tools in his honor, Collect art, do Glamourbombs in his honor, Pretend to be somebody else in his honor, go out to a club in his honor, listen to music in his honor, read in his his mythos, write things for a ritual and write a prayer for him, eat some grapes or have some grape juice or sparkling grape juice (or wine if able and of age), listen to party music, read plays, watch musicals or plays (ex- high school musical, Hamilton), listen to musical soundtracks, learn about the history of theatre, learn about viticulture and vineyards, do things that bring you pleasure, listen to party soundscapes, watch documentaries about any of his sacred animals, Trip intentionally/spiritually, Learn about substance abuse/recovery, Destigamtize drug users, Learn about harm reduction, Make home videos, Write poetry, Act, Dress up, Go to the woods, Dance/sing in the woods, Meditate in the woods, Learn wilderness safety and first aid, Learn what to do when encountering a wild animal, Go off the beaten path, Explore new areas, Pick up litter, Forage, Recycle bottles, Grow fruit, Try new fruits, Have sex (let the partner know beforehand it's in Diyonisus honor, 18+), Masturbate (18+), Have threesomes/swing (ask him before and make sure the other participants know it's in Dionysus's honor, 18+.), Finally, give into that one kink you’ve been ignoring (you know the one, 18+), Learn about consent with partners, Learn how to preserve dead animals, Learn about different life cycles (ex-plants, animals), Learn about immigration in your area, Learn about different cultures, Try foreign foods, Learn a new language, Learn about your ancestry, Help immigrants in your area, Grow your hair out, Keep a Manifest/Keep a manifestation journal, Use Sexual/creative energy to manifest, Shed your old self, Do Self-reflection/self-exploration, Identify areas where you overindulge (ex- food, substances, spending).

Symbols• Grapevine, ivy, phallus, Thyrsus, theatrical masks, Leopard Skin, Panther, Cheetah, the animal called asses, cymbals, swords, or serpents, rams, laurel, asphodel, dolphins, tiger, lynx, panther, horns, goats, his chariot pulled by 2 leopards, masks in general.

Siblings• Ares, Athena, Apollo, Artemis, Aphrodite, Hebe, Hermes, Heracles, Helen of Troy, Hephaestus, Perseus, Minos, the Muses, the Graces.

His friends/gets along with• Maenads and Bacchantes and Satyrs and Sileni and Pan and Priapus

Attendees• Seilenos (God of Drunkenness), Pan (God of Shepherds & Pastures) the Satyroi and Seilenoi (spirits of Fertility & the Wild) The Bakkhantes and Mainades (Nymphe and Women revellers) Komos Satyriskos (cup-bearer)

Appearance in astral or gen• Dionysus often took on a bestial shape and was associated with various animals, often wearing an Ivy wreath, the thyrsus, and the kantharos (a large two-handled goblet) In early Greek art he has represented as a mature male, bearded and robed holding a fennel staff tipped with a pine-cone, but later on he was portrayed as youthful sensuous, naked or semi-naked androgynous youth and effeminate with brown hair and pale features, often holding grapes and drinking wine.

Parentage• Zeus and Semele, some sources also say Zeus and Demeter, some say Zeus and Persephone, but he always sends up with Persephone as a foster mother or as a biological mother, but before his reincarnation, his parents were Ammon and Amalthea.

Pet• leopards

Children • Priapus, Hymen, Thaos, Staphylus, Ononpion, Cumus, Phthonus, the Graces and Deianira, Seilenos, Pan, Satyroi & Seilenoi, Bakkhantes & Mainades, Komodo’s

season and festivles• Diyonosus festivals were bacchanalia, Dionysia, Anthesteria, Dionysian, Lenaia, Panathenaia, his season was spring and March and April

Day• 11th to the 13th of the month of Anthesterion, around the time of the January or February full moon.

Sacred places• Boitia in Greece, naxos Greek, island Edina in western Thrake, his holiest shrine was Mt kithairon (Nysa) in Boiotia Greece, he also declared war on India. A sacred place is the theatre.

Status• Greek god in the major theoi, and an agriculture Demi God.

Pet peeves• Uderestemating him, he probably won't like it if you ignore him

Music• Disco, show tunes, psychedelic rock, acid folk, Greek folk music, EDM, classical, new wave, art pop, vaporwave, just anything you can dance and sing to.

Tarot• Temperance, fool card, three of cups, the tower, 9 of cups (based off of how people see him through their tarot cards)

Scents/Inscene • Pine incense, frankensince, patchouli and vanilla, nutmeg, mulled wine, storax, and Benzoin, he dislikes lavender.

Prayers•

Regular prayer

Dionysos, god whose arrival is swift and certain, enduring friend of women and men whose welcome is warm, bringer of light, we see you in shadows. Dionysos, granter of great blessings, your presence is a heady wine. Kind-hearted god, to each you give as is fitting, each vessel you fill only as we can bear, and yet with even a sip, we are drunk upon you, and our faith is affirmed. Awesome god, by our own will we drink deeply, with you we become lost, we wander, we are found.

Litany to Dionysos

Dionysos of the vine, rich-tressed god of wine, potent and lusty, unmixed, undiluted, with full force you come to us, vital and robust, rich and strong and surprisingly sweet. Dionysos, I praise and honor you, I thank you for your blessings. Ivy-bearing Dionysos, god of the green, of the power of root on stone, the force of life that will make its own way in spite of all who labor to hold it back, no will or work can bind your might. I praise and honor you, I thank you for your blessings. Dionysos of the deep earth, of the dark world, of the unknown expanse beneath the black soil, beneath solid stone, of mysteries you know much, of death and of what lies beyond. God of secrets, I praise and honor you, I thank you for your blessings. Dionysos the inspiring, granter of words of prose or poesy, words heard best by the drunken and the mad, words forgotten with the passing of night and delight. Bacchus, granter of rare transport, I praise and honor you, I thank you for your blessings. Dionysos Soter, holder of the hearts of men, you free us from the cares of the world, each brilliant frenzied moment a shining jewel, each glimpse of the sacred more precious than gold. I praise and honor you, I thank you for your blessings. Kindly Dionysos, granter of good to men and women, giver of gifts to all who seek your blessing. Gracious Dionysos, accepter of offerings great and small, friend of mankind, I praise and honor you, I thank you for your blessings.

Regular Prayer to Dionysos

Dionysos, deep-hearted one who knows the souls of men and women, whose hand is ever open, ever within reach. Dionysos, god who runs in the dark, who sees with eyes shut tight, who dances to the heart’s strong beat, ever are you yourself, ever constant, ever changing god of those who are trapped, those who seek your truth and their own, those who seek vision beyond seeing, those who seek wisdom beyond knowledge, those who seek the self, pure and sweet, those who seek clarity beyond definition, who seek to embrace the uncertain, to hold, but loosely, to what is true beyond trust.

Regular prayer to Dionysos

I praise Dionysos, lord of the vine, lord of the far reaches of the mind; in the thick of the woods, along darkened paths, in the shadows of dusk and of dawn, you roam the world, the satyrs and the pretty nymphs dancing in your wake. Son of Zeus and fair-haired Semele, bold-hearted Semele, who dared to look into the face of glory, beautiful Semele who you carried into life again, Semele reborn who men called Thyone; beloved of clever Ariadne, quick-witted one, so dear to your heart, your bright-eyed bride and consort; Dionysos, friend of women, friend of the blissful, wild-eyed maenads, pilgrims and pioneers, those who seek, your cheer and inspiration, those who seek your release, from sorrow and despair, those who are lost in joy, and those who have found themselves in you. Dionysos, god of the darkest dark and the deepest deep, boundless one, endless one, fathomless one, in you we see the edges of ourselves, in you, we find our life’s journey, in you we find our home.

To Dionysos

I call to Dionysos, great god of the vine, son of thundering Zeus and headstrong Semele, loving husband of warm-hearted Ariadne. From the east you came, old before the ancients, throughout the elder world were you beloved; in Naxos and Boitia were you celebrated, in temples and in the savage wilderness, the fleet-footed maenads running in your wake. The sweetest, strongest wine is ever your drink; the mind’s release, the body’s loosening, your gift. O Dionysos; thyrsus-shaker, ivy-crowned god, we see you in the shadows, we see you on the edges, we see you in the haze of ecstasy, where we know the truth of passion, where we find the essence of our being. Bacchus, I call to you!

| Sources & websites in comments. |

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tobiasdrake · 8 days

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What is Goku's morality?

Goku has a good head on his shoulders usually. He has an innocent and "childlike" approach to morality in the sense that Goku doesn't have a complex or nuanced approach to right and wrong. He's just a compassionate person who likes it when people are happy and safe.

I do specify "usually", however. While Goku's moral compass is wound pretty well, he also has what Toriyama called the "poison" in his character: A deep-seated personal flaw that conflicts with his moral center, making for an interesting and nuanced protagonist rather than a one-dimensional paragon.

Pretty much from the get-go, as early as chapter 3, Goku and Bulma were being set up as moral foils to one another. Goku's purehearted innocence contrasted against Bulma's self-centered callousness.

This is made explicit when Goku receives his Kintoun/Flying Nimbus, a metaphysical test of virtue that only someone who's pure of heart can ride. This serves as a litmus test for how we're meant to read various characters, in terms of their morality.

FAILURE

PASS

FAILURE

PASS

FAILURE

PASS. Uh, this alter, at least.

And so on. In terms of morality, Goku takes a pretty simple position: He doesn't like it when people are being hurt or oppressed. That's it. That's all there is to it. Goku has a strong sense of compassion for others and while he doesn't go actively looking for wrongs to right, he can't look the other way when they land in front of him.

Oh, you're being enslaved by a militant warlord? That's not nice. Goku's gonna go file a complaint. Stapled to the general's face.

He was just here to find a Dragon Ball but, as long as he's in the area, he might as well liberate an oppressed population. Goku loves to help others.

In fact, the RRA arc is a great demonstration of Goku's moral center, because he didn't have to go to war with the Red Ribbon Army. Goku finds what he's looking for about 2/3 of the way through.

That's it. That's all he wanted. He's done. Goku's mission is complete; He can go home now. He has zero investment in any further conflict with Red Ribbon.

...until this happens.

Bora's death sets in motion the events that will carry Goku through the rest of the arc: His rematch with Taopaipai, the siege of Red Ribbon HQ, and the Uranai Baba Tournament are all for the sake of this man, a man Goku's known for like ten minutes, who lost his life because he tried to protect Goku from Taopaipai.

Everything after this point is revenge for Bora and the utility of getting what Goku needs to make Dragon Ball's very first resurrection wish.

Hiring Taopaipai was a mistake that turned Goku from a meddlesome interference into a vengeful nemesis gunning straight for their door.

This more or less remains Goku's relationship with the various ne'er-do-wells of Dragon Ball. He doesn't like when people get hurt, and he relishes opportunities to fuck up their oppressors.

If you hurt people in front of Goku, he's gonna fuck you up.

If you hurt people he likes, may Enma-Daio have mercy on your soul.

But.

This is where Goku's "poison" comes into play. Goku is a moral person but it isn't morality that drives him. If he sees a mugging taking place (and understands what he's seeing) he'll go punch the mugger, to be sure. But he's not looking for muggers to punch.

Goku has heroic inclinations, but he is not a superhero. He's an athlete looking for good sport. A martial artist driven by a desire for self-improvement, always on the lookout for his next rival. This complicates the way he approaches the villains of the story.

What Goku wants, more than anything, is a rival who can keep pace with him. A chance to push his limits and test himself. It's at the end of the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai where we first see Goku's poison begin to push him into... questionable decision-making.

The reincarnated Piccolo uses the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai as a chance to get revenge against Goku. This stops being a martial arts tournament once the poorly-aliased "Demon Junior" reveals his true identity.

Or, at least, it probably should have. But Goku is hellbent on taking the title of Strongest Under the Heavens even if the whole goddamn island is about to get leveled. To the bitter end, Goku refuses to let this stop being a sports competition.

There is nothing on Earth more important than this.

The thing about Goku is that he's really good at mixing his morality with his poison.

He gives Piccolo a Senzu to restore him to full strength after the match, then sends him on his way hoping Piccolo will come after him for revenge some day. He wants to use Piccolo as a motivator to keep pushing himself - An incredibly dangerous decision to make given that this man wants to kill him and conquer the world.

Goku makes the moral argument that they can't kill Piccolo without killing God, but as Krillin points out, this isn't a binary choice. They could have sealed Piccolo away with the Mafuba/Evil Containment Wave while he was lying helpless on the ground.

You know. Instead of giving him a Senzu and wishing him tremendous gains. This is Goku's poison in action. We see it again with Vegeta, where Goku even admits that he's being unbelievably self-serving by insisting on sparing Vegeta's life.

We see his poison strike when he agrees with Vegeta to do nothing and allow the Androids to be created. Once again coming up with a moral angle to it, but only after his kneejerk reaction of wanting to fight.

But it's easy to overlook because Goku's questionable decisions tend to work out for the best anyway. This poor man's been searching for years for a sinister archrival that will come after him like a Saturday Morning Cartoon villain, but they keep reforming.

Well, at least he got to have this.

Good times.

Goku is a generally good man compromised by a desire for sportsmanship that sometimes inhibits his perspective of things. When he can, he tries to satisfy both his moral center and his poison.

But sometimes his poison gets the better of him.

Goku makes questionable choices when he gets his blood boiling with the rush of competition, even at times when he probably should be thinking about harm mitigation. Because that is a thing he cares about; He doesn't like it when people get hurt, and he'll go out of his way to help others in crisis.

But he can't help himself. He was born for the stage.

Which makes it fitting that Goku's journey ends with one final compromise between his moral center and his poison. Right at the very end of his journey, Goku finally manages to satisfy both.

By relying on the karmic cycle itself, Goku destroys the monster that Majin Buu is while making a promise to fight each other again one day in a better life. The ultimate evolution of "No, let the bad guy go so I can fight him again."

And a promise well-kept.

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #son goku

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class1akids · 1 month

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Class A field trip - Shouto edition

Shouto's Class A field trip was an adorable combo of him eating soba everywhere or being cute and oblivious. Here are all his scenes collected in one place:

Day 1:

Shoto and Koda are in Iwate, where Shoto is doing the wanko soba challenge (it's an all you can eat soba tradition).

🍰: You can eat as many bowls as you want

🔥: Shotoooooooooo!!!!

🔺: Todoroki!! Your father wants to eat together with you too!!

🍰: The check please.

Day 2

Origin Trio in Roppongi Hills (Tokyo)

🥦: If I opened a hero agency one day, I wonder if it would be in Roppongi like All Might? What about you, Kacchan?

💥: Whatever. Not decided.

🍰: Are you two starting an agency together?

🥦💥: ?!!!!

Day 3

Mina, Asui, Todoroki and Kouda visiting the Sado island - Rabbit Kannon

👽: Justice!!! So cute!

🍰: Is “justice” cute? Well then. This Kannon is auspicious for the heroes.

🐸"Cute" is also very deep.

Todoroki and Tokoyami at the Kurobe Dam (the biggest dam in Japan)

🐦‍⬛: A Torrent of Power, Liberation from Commandments. Those who were once sealed together, have released their powers. Can you feel it, Todoroki!

🍰: Not especially.

The sweet tooth brigade (Sato, Momo, Ochako, Shoto) trying out Aichi's Ogura toast:

🍬: I've been waiting... This is...

🍑: Yes, it's delicious

🍰: Half-sweet, half-salty...

Day 4

Dekusquad in Awaji island (famous for onions)

🥦: Heroes don't cry, even when cutting an onion…

🥦: 😭😭😭😭 🍵: Sorry! Challenge failed. 🍰: No, even heroes cry when they have to.

(Reference to Shoto's line from Ch137)

Ojirou, Hagakure and Shoto at Adventure World, Wakayama

🐿️: Two-tone and popular character... We have someone like that.

🤲We do, don’t we. Just by being there, he brightens the place…!” 🍰: Huh? There’s somebody like that? 🤲🐿️: “IT’S YOU!!!”

(This panda one led to a ton of Shoto + panda fan art on Twitter)

Day 5:

Shoto is eating Yamaguchi green tea soba served on hot stones (so Ochako and Kirishima reference too)

🍰: Please take your time here. This is from my father. 🦈: awww thanks... 🍵: Todoroki-kun, you should say thank you. 🍰: Thank you very much. 🍵: I meant thank your dad!

Shoto, Tokoyami, Kirishima and Shoji at Shimonada Station, overlooking the Seto Inland Sea at sunset

🍰: What’s this kind of thing? Are we BFFs now? 🦈: That's right, Todoroki! (bashful)

I saw JPN fandom commenting that Shoto uses the outdated and somewhat girly term (ズッ友) zuttomo - loosely translated as eternal friends/ bffs. Kirishima may be being flustered as a reference to the SF where Shoto told him that he's not here to make friends.

Day 6:

Shoto's third soba-slurping is in Okinawa (with Endeavor and Kirishima)

🔥: Shoto, how is the soba here? 🍰: Okinawa soba is delicious. 🔥: RIGHT!? SHOUTOOOOOOO!! (happy) 🍰: Quiet. Let me eat.

🦈: 😲

(Okinawa soba is more like ramen than real soba and the noodles are wheat instead of buckwheat.)

I really enjoyed the scenes they chose for Shouto. Endeavor trying to join the field trip was funny. Shouto just eating soba all over Japan is definitely something I can see happen. And it is nice to see how he's friends with everyone and the whole class kind of adores his airheaded comments, misuse of slang and just blunt cuteness.

10/10 for the promo team.

Links:

My Twitter thread of all the scenes

Full translations

A blog archiving all pictures in HQ

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melonteee · 1 month

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Oda's depiction of "liberation" is just the complete opposite of the savior bs and I love it so much. Like, when we first saw the Revolutionary Army actually liberating people, there was a big emphasis on how they weren't just taking care of people's problems for them, their goal was to empower the people to fight for themselves. Belo Betty's devil fruit, especially, is amazing at showing that, even beyond the dialogue just outright telling us. Then this last chapter dropped and I love it so much. Luffy, Joyboy, Nika, whatever- that SEEMS like an obvious savior figure. But what does he do when Bonney realizes he is Nika and asks him to beat up the bad guy? He agrees, of course - they are friends - but he doesn't just do it. It's a TEACHING moment. Luffy goes "here, this is how you should punch the fuck out of corrupt old men" as he is doing it!!! Nika is an inspiring legend, and Luffy will fistfight God if he has to, but people's liberation isn't something a shonen protagonist can just punch into reality. It's about giving people the hope to fight back, the hope to dream. That's so refreshing for a shonen. (It's also something Oda struggled with at the start, I think, with the limitations of One Piece being a shonen story where the rubber boy has to punch the bad guy. He has handled it amazingly post-TS though, imo) Sorry, I HAD to ramble about this. IT'S SO GOOD

lmao this is a good ramble, and I've said before One Piece is really un-shonen like in many aspects. On one hand it's about friendship and family and fights and ballsy main characters, on the other hand Oda evolves that and takes it to a whole other level that ends up being something entirely different. Almost something that goes against modern shonen themes and even laughs in the face of what a 'hero' is.

Oda has stated he hates what modern manga art is becoming, in terms of losing that sillyness and removing goofy expressions their manga forefathers used, and refuses to let One Piece/Luffy become serious the same way other shonens have. That's definitely one of the reasons why Luffy's version of liberation is so hopeful lmao

#ask #melonask

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maghamoon · 10 months

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Happy Leo Szn!! Notes on Leo/5H Placements:

hi! this is my first tumblr post. thought of doing observations/notes on leo placements honoring the season, if you have prominent leo or 5h in your chart this is for you :))

Leo placements:

-people usually assume that leo suns are outgoing and can express themselves easily. that’s usually true unless they have some sort of tense aspect with the ascendant.

-for e.g. scorpio risings with leo suns usually feel it is difficult to express themselves because they have asc square sun.

-pisces risings with leo suns too! they have their sun in the 8th house. they have gone through a lot of transformations in their lives.

-people usually say that leo venus creates a person that is boastful about their love or shows off. that usually only happens if the placement is malefic. usually, leo venuses are very cute lovers that enjoy getting creative with their partners!

-leo mars is an interesting placement. it’s still a fire sign but when roughly placed it could cause a native that takes things personally and uses the need to out-shine someone as a way to fuel their drive.

-leo moons have their father directly involved with their childhood/the way they process things. leo is ruled by the sun, which represents the father. oftentimes the mother may be ignored in the home life. this is because the planet of the mother (moon) is in the sign of the opposite planet, the sun.

-mars as well! you could mimic the way your father works/motivates himself, or have tendencies of anger like your father or any other paternal figure.

-people with leo in the 11th house may attain fame or popularity through their friends. or they have very creative and passionate friends.

-saturn in leo is a very interesting placement to have. saturn is the karma of the father that shows fruit in the later years. leo, the sun, also represents the father. developing a sense of self and working hard through the karmic debt of the father, creative journeys, etc. the house should also be checked to truly understand this placement.

like, someone who has saturn in leo in the 4th house may have to work with their feminine nature, being comfortable with it, expressing their emotions and the relationship they have with home or mother due to karmic debt of father.

-leo risings may have very good childhoods but difficult marriages. their 7h is in aqua so the native may feel detached or isolated.

5H placements:

-neptune in 5h causes someone to have a fuzzy perception of their ego/self. art therapy works wonders for these people, also following some sort of spiritual ideology.

-people who have chiron in 5h have wounds regarding their creative endeavors, their personality, humor and may dive into flings just to get validation. they felt unappreciated growing up.

-uranus in 5h can cause sudden shifts in personality, style and even political ideology. maybe the native was very liberal and showed it though their style but now they are conservative. they can also have sudden breakthroughs in their creative endeavors.

-it isn’t true that venus in 5h are only here for short-term relationships! they can foster long-term relationships and they still have that child-like, honeymoon phase charm to it.

that’s all for today! happy leo season! happy birth season to all my leo suns <33

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arminreindl · 11 months

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HAPPY WORLD CROC DAY

It's June 17th, world crocodile day, a day to appreciate these amazing yet endangered animals. They are my personal favourite group of animals period and just endlessly fascinating to me, both those we have today and those that lived in the ancient past. Tho I'm no professional by any means, I strive to learn about them and spread this knowledge. So here's some photos, art and skeletals of fossil crocs (using the term rather liberally I know). Feel free to drop your favourites in the reblogs, doesn't matter if extinct or not.

#world crocodile day #crocodile #caiman #gharial #alligator #croc #palaeblr #crocodilian #pseudosuchia #mekosuchus #astorgosuchus #morelets crocodile #dwarf crocodile #tomistoma #mourasuchus #euthecodon

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somerabbitholes · 5 months

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i'd log in but i fully forgot my username and password since i left for college lol, but the first semester of college ended and i'm finally back home for my break. i'm doing a degree in history in a liberal arts university which has been my absolute dream since i was a child; everyone else in my class was an engineer/doctor aspirant and i was the labelled Humanities Child. so college was supposed to be The Dream for me and, in many ways, i have. HOWEVER, the issue is that i am now surrounded by The Humanities Child(ren) of every school, and now i have no personality? i also feel hopelessly out of place because im surrounded by people who seem to know sooo much more than me (i know this sounds like a very much grass is greener on the other side situation but i assure you i am hopelessly out of my depth here). i'm genuinely having a little bit of a crisis bc i used to be the child that Knew Things and Read, but now, so is everybody im surrounded by. i originally meant to send this ask to ask you for recs/resources on knowing more, but i'm not fully sure as to what exactly i need to know more of, so do you have any tips on how to inculcate a habit of learning more generally (subscribe to newspapers? listen to podcasts? but like, when, where, which ones, how do i find the right ones?). i desperately need to be the smart kid again, i don't know who i am without it lol

hello. i think you should be patient with yourself. college is disorienting because you go from being with people who didn't really choose to be in school and study what school makes them study to people who definitely chose the sciences or humanities or whatever. it's only logical that you feel out of depth, i know i did too. but trust me, however much it feels like people know more already, it's also that college is a leveller: you will be taught things, you will be taught how to think and much of what's coming in terms of academia is a fresh start for everyone.

i don't think the way out is to know everything and to always be up to date on everything under the sun. i also can't recommend what you should be reading or listening to, other than just standard news, which will then lead you to more finer material that's about the things you care about. the easiest way really is to be on the lookout for sources: your professors will tell you, ask your classmates if something they mention sounds interesting, find what you like in the library and so on.

also lastly, i don't think you're supposed to know who you are when you're in college. college exists for you to figure that out. don't worry about not knowing what your thing is (i'm 24 and i don't know what my thing is), but start small with things that are adjacent to either what you're studying or what you've conventionally liked. then you build on that and the next and so on.

hope this helps :)

#anonymous #answered

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hollowwrites · 10 months

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Ominis Headcanons

🔥 This is my dumpster fire of Ominis 🔥

Burn with me.

I’ll refer to MC as Evelyn throughout this cause she’s my ship with Omi. This is basically my notes page. Things my conflict. Who cares? If anything grabs you please ask about it. You guys inspire me for way too much of my stuff 💚

I’m just gonna mix NSFW stuff in with this so 🔞MINORS DNI🔞

Fifth Year Ominis is too caught up in Sebastian’s bullshit to notice if he was going too far. He clings to any niceties afforded to him. You need help finding your class? Sure you can hold onto his arm. You’re aching from the Crucio ordeal? You can lean against him and have a nap with him. You become his coping method of losing Anne and Sebastian. He can forgive himself for opening up a little too much…he’s gone through a lot.

Sixth Year Ominis is straight denial. No they’ve always been this close they had to be because of Sebastian. Not that anyone else knows that. You just showed up and you’ve both been inseparable ever since. You’re just very good friends.

Seventh Year Ominis is determined, will stop at nothing until Evelyn is his (See Blindsided for evidence!!!)

Can touch his wand to things to see colour. Found out after he fell into Sebastian one time and jabbed him in the ribs. The Olive green of his waistcoat flashed across his eyes. Only discovered it that late in his life because by the time he’d gotten his wand he’d already become estranged from his family so kept away from them.

Has advanced Proprioception, the sense of knowing where your body is in relation to it parts. It extends to people around him so when he’s sat with his friends he doesn’t always need to have his wand out to know if they’re moving around. His wand extends and enhances it

His favourite subject is Defence Against the Dark Arts. He’s ridiculously good at it. I’ve wrote about good of a duelist I think he is here but I think it extends past that. He’s overheard so much at home he knows how to combat a lot of it. Good knowledge of curse both Unforgivable and otherwise. Probably caused a lot of tension in fifth year between him and Seb. Contributing factor to their iffy relationship because let’s face it they don’t really act like best friends.

Was an UNREAL seeker in third year. Won every match because he could hear the snitch from across the pitch. Imelda banned him after matches ended too quickly. Was completely unbothered, only joined because Seb begged him to

Tallest of the boys but doesn’t look it due to his posture being awful (Seriously why does he slouch so badly) (Does mean when he fully stands up he’s HELLA TALL)

Has little crescent moon shaped scars along his palm from clenching his fists in his sleep.

Really good friends with Garreth. I’ve wrote so much for those two I just can’t help it. He reminds him of Sebastian before his sister was cursed.

Has a really good relationship with Hecat. She told him stories in First Year about Professor Black from back in Hogwarts so he wouldn’t be scared of him telling his parents things. Probably why he’s not scared to talk to him.

Only speaks Parseltongue when he can’t control himself. When he’s angry, or in Pain or…other times 👀

Nicknames

Only uses terms of endearment as an insult. King of the ‘Oh Sweetheart’ in a smarmy way…still kinda hot

I don’t imagine he calls anyone by anything other than their full name. Sebastian is always Sebastian Never Seb.

Except Evelyn, she is everything but her full name. Unless he’s mad at her. Eve, Ev, V, Evie.

He’ll only call her pet names if the time calls for it i.e. I saw someone’s fic where he calls her Hummingbird and I LOOOOVE that (Sorry can’t remember who that was but THANK YOU!)

‘Be honest with me, Little Hummingbird. Your heart is so fast, I know you’re lying’

Liberal use of ‘Good Girl’ in the bedroom but only after they’re comfortable with each other.

‘Be a Good Girl and get on your knees for me’

🔞 NSFW Headcanons 🔞

He’d be the best to lose your virginity to. He would absolutely be tender and sweet. I love Dominis as much as the next gal but he would be so sweet

He’s either planed the whole thing and everything perfect (Undercroft all lit up with candles and blankets and VERY STRONG locking charm on the gate) or it’s the most wonderful spontaneous event (piled up breathless on the floor of the prefects bathroom)

Speaking of one or the other, Ominis is either the sweetest most gentle man on the planet or he is absolutely insatiable ravenous filth.

Likes choking, spanking and biting. Like pulling the little gasps and moans and hisses from her.

FOREPLAY KING he cannot see! You cannot tell me he doesn’t love hearing how worked up she gets until she’s begging for him (Loves begging too)

No guy is good at fingering but…👀 he is. It just touching and fingers THATS HOW HE GETS AROUND ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS HE IS GOOD AT THAT SHIT!!

Hates whenever you have to be quiet. Almost makes it a game to see if he can force her to make a noise.

Other posts where I spout waffle about Ominis here and here and here

Masterlist

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fairuzfan · 5 months

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Thinking you can "help" by donating to NGOs as the end all be all is particularly insulting because:

1) my family, and many Palestinian diaspora families, have been donating to Palestinian charities for years and look at where we are at now (ie, the systematic violence has not been addressed AND we already have been consistently donating to make a difference, contrary to what people on here claim we aren't doing)

2) reframing this as a humanitarian issue rather than a systematic violence where a people are occupied by a colonial force

By all means, donate to charities I'm not going to say they're not necessary. They absolutely are. I donate to Palestinian Children's Relief Fund myself. It's a cause near and dear to my heart. However, monetary support and a hands off approach only goes so far and does not address systematic issues that communities face. If all we do is donate, we succumb to an endless spiral of reactive responses to violence rather than preventative.

NGOs are great but to say "just donate" and then ignore the issue completely is incredibly harmful. Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank are PLEADING for you to take action, get involved, spread information. So find your niche and please help! Make art! Attend protests! Hell, even reblogging posts with the intent to educate is useful.

Remember, our goal is short term AND long term liberation! So keep Palestine on your mind! Keep Tigray on your mind! Congo! Kashmir! We need to remember that the world we live in is not ok but it could be BETTER!!!

#we can do it everyone!#we can make a better world!!!#palestine

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mirra-kan · 5 months

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@lotr20 Day 5 (15th Dec): loss | sacrifice | despair

"DARK TALES OF HORROR" The causes of the problems lie much deeper than just the Lord of The Rings story. We see the result. We see only one side of a coin. Here's another one, which refers to the deeds of the Second Age but persists until the fall of Dark Lord Sauron, which we witness in LOTR books and movies. Here're some quotes I find relatable to the topic overall, in case you're interested ❤

"I dislike the use of 'political' in such a context; it seems to me false. It seems clear to me that Frodo's duty was 'humane' not political. He naturally thought first of the Shire, since his roots were there, but the quest had as its object not the preserving of this or that polity, such as the half republic half aristocracy of the Shire, but the liberation from an evil tyranny of all the 'humane'* – including those, such as 'easterlings' and Haradrim, that were still servants of the tyranny. Denethor was tainted with mere politics: hence his failure, and his mistrust of Faramir. It had become for him a prime motive to preserve the polity of Gondor, as it was, against another potentate, who had made himself stronger and was to be feared and opposed for that reason rather than because he was ruthless and wicked. Denethor despised lesser men, and one may be sure did not distinguish between orcs and the allies of Mordor. If he had survived as victor, even without use of the Ring, he would have taken a long stride towards becoming himself a tyrant, and the terms and treatment he accorded to the deluded peoples of east and south would have been cruel and vengeful. He had become a 'political' leader: sc. Gondor against the rest." – letter 183 | Notes on W. H. Auden's review of The Return of the King Art quote:

"The Númenóreans carry their evil also to Middle-earth and there become cruel and wicked lords of necromancy, slaying and tormenting men; and the old legends are overlaid with dark tales of horror." Letter 131

#harad #lotrweek #silm art #artmirka #sauron #lotr art #numenor #haradrim #tolkienart #jrr tolkien #silmarillion #middle earth #arda

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taschamonnii · 8 months

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Say Anything Part 2 - Virginity is a Social Construct

You x Zibby (Elizabeth ‘Zibby” Liberal Arts - Elizabeth Olsen)

SMUT 18+

Read Part 1

Summary: This is a sequel to my little story “Say Anything”. I just feel like Zibby deserves to have sex and like a glorious and beautiful first time.

TW: SMUT 18+

Here is the title song: Say Anything by Girl in Red

Read on Ao3

AN: Zibby is way too precious not to get a sweet and romantic first time while also breaking social constructs down because virginity is fucked and that was the only beef I had with Liberal Arts like yes he was older (like way older… too old to be playing with her like that) and I didn’t really want them to have sex but the way he went about it freaking out on her when she told him it would be her first time was shit. I also really wanted to write this for all you girlies who are stuck in your heads about your own virginity, especially the baby gays who are worried about the first time. I promise women are understanding and patient and if they are not then you don’t want to be doing anything with them. Communication is key. Let me start by saying it is your business if you even want to share that information with someone. But if you do share that information it should not be a huge deal like society makes it out to be you don’t lose anything.

Word Count: 3,186

Imagine This:

The kiss you two shared poolside at that party changed your life for the better. You have never been so happy. Dating Zibby was like nothing else. You didn’t even have to think about it. You wanted her and only her. You knew her past experience was limited in both the male and female dating departments. So, you wanted to do things right, you wanted to sweep her off her feet. You wanted to make sure she never felt bad about her lack of experience. She told you about this older guy who freaked out when she told him she was a virgin. You told her that virginity is a bullshit social construct made to make women feel bad about sex. You told her that it was shitty for him to make her feel bad about it even if he thought it was coming from a caring place. You were determined then to make sure she always felt comfortable and to do things on her terms. After a while of dating she hinted at making things official so you planned the perfect date to ask her.

>>>>

Zibby looked at you in awe. Her emerald eyes were full of love for you. Zibby was at a loss for words. The view in front of her was so sweet. A blanket was laid out under a tree, your secret tree. The tree the two of you had found together to hide from the rest of the world and slow down. It was off an old practically abandoned trial on campus. It was hidden from the path and the perfect place for privacy. You studied here, shared sweet kisses, and picnics and it warmed Zibby’s heart. The fake candles illuminated her sweet face and gave her golden skin a beautiful glow.

“Y/N, this is beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you.”

“Okay, okay charmer.”

“It’s just the honest truth. I wish I could afford to take you to a fancy restaurant like at a private beach or something but here we are on a college budget.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I would hate that. This however is so us and I love it.”

She leaned in and kissed you softly and instantly your anxiety eased.

“That’s true. I just think you deserve the best.”

“You are the best, y/n.”

You didn’t have a good response as you blushed so you just kissed her again. As per usual Zibby deepened the kiss.

Lately, she had been showing you all the signs that she was ready for more. She had shared with you that she had never had sex before and was nervous. You had asked her if she ever touched herself and she had said yes. At the time it half melted your brain the way she blushed and admitted she had thought of you while touching herself. Somehow you had managed not to go feral in that moment and you explained that she had more than enough experience if she touched herself she already knew some things she liked and what could feel good to do to someone else. That didn’t fully convince her but it gave her reassurance. You had promised that day that there would be open communication the first time and that you would help each other feel good because it is always a learning curve. Everyone likes different things. You told her that you know how you felt with your first time and you were lucky it had been with a girl who was more experienced and who took her time with you. Now you wanted to be that for Zibby.

You slowly disconnected your lips from the kiss and she leaned towards you following and trying to reconnect your lips. You giggled “don’t you want to see what all I made for you?”

She shook her head with a smirk “huh-uh”, she licked her lips “I want more kisses.”

“You can have as many as you want in just a little bit.”

Her gaze studied you and she sighed with defeat knowing you had a plan for the night and that her begging wouldn’t break you. You smiled seeing her defeat and pulled her down to sit on the blanket with you.

Light conversation and sharing of food and drinks had you both on cloud nine. It never gets old with her. Anything with her feels like the best thing. Studying together made studying fun and doing nothing together filled you with peace. She felt like your person and you were happy to just soak up her presence.

As much as you loved enjoying the light night with her you had a plan to stick to. You wanted to ask her to be yours officially but that was easier said than done. She is so distracting with her soft smile, lips, skin, hair! Her green vibrant eyes and the way she looked at you with such light in them. She filled you with butterflies and made your head feel light. You stared at her preparing to ask her.

Her short dirty blonde hair fell on her bare shoulders. The tank top and shorts she was wearing were killing you. Her legs were crossed out in front of her as she tilted her head back and looked up at the sky full of stars with a soft smile. “It’s so beautiful.”

You smiled, gaze never leaving her as you breathlessly said “yes it is.”

She turned her gaze landing on you, her green eyes were deep under the glow of fake candlelight. She smiled as she realized you had been staring and talking about her and not the sky.

You bit your bottom lip lightly trying to quiet your nerves and decided it was now or never. “Zibby, will you be my girlfriend?”

Her smile took over her entire face reaching her eyes and filling them with light. “God yes! It took you long enough to ask!”

She quickly shot up onto her knees and faced you. You caressed her cheek softly with a smile so wide your cheeks hurt. “I wanted things to be perfect.”

“Everything with you is perfect. Now can I have those aforementioned and promised kisses, my beautiful perfect girlfriend?”

You smiled wider as you nodded before leaning in and capturing her soft plump lips. She sucked your bottom lip between hers the instant she could and licked it. You opened your mouth and met her tongue softly. You then sucked her tongue lightly as your hands tangled in her hair. She let out a soft moan that vibrated into your mouth. She moved her lips and tongue trying desperately to get more. Her hands grabbed at the back of your neck and shoulders, tugging you closer to her.

She quickly found her way into your lap one leg on each side of you wrapping you up in her long legs. Your hands naturally landed on her hips steadying her against your body. She moved her hips urgently making your hands slip to her ass. She broke the kiss with a groan “please!”

You pulled back and studied her face asking with your eyes and she smiled softly before nodding “Please I want everything with you.”

“I want everything with you too, Zibby.”

She bit her bottom lip and moved her hands to the hem of your shirt. She tugged on it softly, gaze focused on your face, asking permission. You gave her a nod and she lifted your shirt up and over your head.

She ran her hands softly up your abs and palmed your breasts over the fabric of your sports bra. You sighed showing her you liked what she was doing. She pulled on the band of your bra and you nodded again. She made quick work pulling it over your head.

Her gaze fell to your exposed skin and she licked her lips before she started to kiss your neck. She kissed lower and you leaned back to give her room to explore. She kissed down the center of your chest and then across your chest softly.

A hum vibrated in your throat. She explored your chest so softly just like your first kiss. She hovered over a hard nibble and kissed it softly before licking it. She tested out different ways to lick you and listened to how you responded. Her teeth grazed your nipple and you moaned. She lightly trapped the stiff bud between her teeth and tugged. Your hands flew into her short hair and tugged.

She hummed against you and then began to lightly suck on your sensitive bud. You moaned breathily. She moved a hand to your other breast and just tested holding it. Then she squeezed it. You softly encouraged her, “pinch that one,” she pinched your hard nipple and sucked on the other one, “AH! Yes, just like that!”

You let her switch her mouth and hand and explore a little longer before you pulled her up to kiss her lips. You could cum just from her learning all the ways to play with your boobs but you want to show her how good what she just did feels.

You kissed down her neck and slid your fingers under her shirt just teasing your thumbs against her hip bones. She moved to take her own shirt off but you stopped her and slowly pulled it over her head. Your gaze fell down her neck to her exposed cleavage and you took note of each adorable freckle. You found several on her neck that you kissed but when you found one on her left breast it instantly became your favorite. You latched onto it making sure to leave a mark. She sighed as she pulled at the back of your neck to keep you close.

You ran your hands around and up her back and found the hooks to her bra. You made quick work of unhooking it. You pulled back slightly as you moved your hands to the straps. You pulled down the straps softly slowly admiring the goosebumps left in your wake before kissing her bare shoulders. You kissed her collar bones and moved both of your hands to squeeze her perky breasts. You rubbed your thumbs over her nipples making them harder. You moved your kisses down her chest and kissed the freckle on her left breast softly before enveloping her nipple in your mouth. You sucked on it and ran your tongue over it before biting lightly. You pinched her other nipple with your fingers and then switched breasts. She threw her head back “Ah! Fuck that feels so good!”

Her hips rutted against you searching for friction as you worshiped her chest. She leaned back forcing your mouth to release her nipple with a pop. She smiled and leaned back more. You got the hint and helped to lay her softly on the blanket.

She moved her hands to your shorts and tugged on the button before quickly undoing it. You helped her push your shorts and underwear down then leaned over her so you could shimmy them off. You got back to your knees and ran your hands up her thighs and unbuttoned her shorts. She lifted herself up and you removed the last of the clothing between you.

You looked down at her in awe. Her soft belly curved at her hips and made your mouth water. She didn’t let you stare for long. She needed you now. She pulled you down on top of her and kissed you hard as she wrapped her long legs around you. She forced you to press your bodyweight down on her and your breath caught in your throat at the feel of her skin against yours. Hard nipples and smooth soft warm skin brushed and then she angled her hips and you felt just how wet she was for you.

A breathy moan left her lips as she moved her hips to get the friction you know she is desperate for. You pecked her lips and pulled yourself up slightly and that instantly got her attention. Her gaze was desperate like she would die if you stopped this now. You smiled reassuringly “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here but I need you to tell me what you like, okay remember we said we’d help each other.”

You wanted to make sure she knew you were not a master of sex and that you too get nervous about pleasing someone else. She nodded “yes I remember,” she licked her lips as her gaze fell to your breasts that were now just barely grazing against hers, “I um it’s so hard to concentrate with you looking like that.”

You smiled down at her “gawd you are so cute and sexy it is unreal. I’m just going to go slowly okay?”

She quickly nodded “Just touch me please!”

You scooted back on your knees and kissed down her soft belly leaving your marks all over her soft skin. Your dominant hand trailed further down her body and rubbed at her inner thighs. Her hips bucked up and she whined. You wasted no time finally giving in. You pressed your palm flat against her clit firmly and just moved in slow circles at first then slowly down and back up coating your hand and fingers with her slick heat. She moaned softly and you knew she needed more.

You moved a finger to her entrance and slowly slid into her tight center. You kissed her thigh and waited for her hips to move before sliding in and out slowly. You slowly trailed your kisses up from her thigh to her hips down to just under the slight curve of her belly and then pressed your lips softly to her clit. “OH fuck please more of that!”

You hummed against her before you pulled your finger out and added another. You simultaneously parted your lips and slid your tongue flat against her clit. Her back arched and her legs squeezed your head. With your free hand you moved one of her legs to rest on your back and the other you pressed down so you had more access to her center. You curled your fingers finding that sweet spot and then sucked on her clit. “FUCK oh MY Fucking AH! Y/N!”

You tested different pressures of sucking on her clit and soothing it with your tongue while testing different pressure and motions to stimulate her G spot. It’s a hard one to get on your own and you are determined to give her the pleasure of experiencing a G spot and clitoral orgasm as her first with you.

Her hips squirm and her heel digs into your back. The sound of her moans has your clit throbbing. She tastes so fucking good and feels so warm and soft and tight. She tangled her fingers through your hair and you looked up at her with just your eyes to see her watching you. Her mouth was open as she breathed out moaning but her emerald eyes were locked on you. You moved your free hand up and squeezed her breast. She untangled one of her hands from your hair to cup your hand over her breast and lace her fingers with yours. She squeezed your hand hard as her muscles began to tighten. You could feel her approaching that crescendo. The leg that was on your back flexed out and the other began to tremble and press against your head again now that you were not holding it down. You sucked herder on her clit and kept pressing your finger against her G spot, even as her walls tightened around your fingers and made it hard to move.

“Fuck I AH I AH! Ah ah ah AH!”

You felt your own clit throb as you felt her contract around your fingers. You helped her ride out the high until her body went limp and slowly removed yourself from her to crawl up her body and kiss her lips softly. “Are you okay?”

She ran her hands from your cheeks into your hair and pulled you in for a kiss. “I’m fantastic! Wow you are really good at that!”

You smiled, “I just paid attention to how your body reacted.”

“I want to make you feel like this. Seriously, that was incredible!”

You couldn’t stop the soft laughter that escaped your lips at her enthusiasm. I almost came, making you cum, baby it won’t take much for me to feel incredible. I already feel amazing just having you here like this.”

She rolled her eyes before quickly flipping your positions. She pecked your lips before she moved to get on her knees between your legs. She’s so pretty covered in your marks, hair a mess and skin glowing.

Her gaze traveled over your body. Up and down. Her hands caressed you up and down. Heating your skin as she touched you softly. You watched in awe as she leaned down and began to kiss your heated skin. She trailed kisses down your chest and abdomen and back up. She took her time being gentle then marking you as hers on every inch of skin she could get. You sigh and moan when she bites your skin and sucks another mark into your skin. You are already so worked up that you think you might cum from this. “Please, Zibby!”

A smirk formed on her face as she bit her bottom lip. She pressed her palm flat against your heated center and you whimpered at the contact. She spreads your wet heat by rubbing her palm up then down. You need her so badly that you feel like you are going to explode. “Please baby I need please! MORE!”

She leaned down again and kissed your clit softly before slowly tasting you with her tongue. “Oh fuck! Fingers please!”

She moves her hand and you feel her press two fingers against your entrance and then as she slides into you she sucks on your clit and you can’t contain your moans. She curls her fingers inside you and begins to build the pressure. You can feel yourself tighten around her as your legs tremble “AH! There! Yes Oh FUCK YES!”

Zibby is a natural. She pays attention to the hitch in your breath how your hips buck and legs tremble. She loves the way you tighten around her and get wetter. She is filled with confidence as she watches you unravel and feels the effect she has on you. She sucks harder on your clit and presses her tongue to it to sooth it as she moves to hit the spot that is making you tremble faster with more pressure. She can feel you contract and is amazed by it as she watches your back arch. “Im cuming oh Im I cuming AAHHH ZIB!”

You unravel in a beautiful mess and she mimics how you let her ride out her pleasure earlier. You smile at her when you finally recover and pull her down to kiss her soft lips. “That was incredible, baby.”

AN: I hope you guys like this cute little thing. I just felt it was a great opportunity to talk about how ridiculous society is about virginity. I love talking about women and the pleasure they deserve to embrace fully without shame. Here’s to celebrating female pleasure!

#ELIZABETH OLSEN #ZIBBY #FEMALE READER X ZIBBY #FILM: LIBERAL ARTS #LIBERAL ARTS 2012 #FLUFF #HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZZIE #LIZZIE OLSEN #CUTE #GAY #QUEER #LESBIAN #WLW #FANFICTION #IMAGINE #AO3 #virginity is a social construct #smut

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morallyinept · 7 months

Text

Hey Dieter! Let's talk about sex!

Urm, no... I didn't say let's have sex, I meant let's talk about it and have a discussion.

I mean, sure, we totally can... afterwards.

This week Dieter & I want to get a little physical with you... Grab the lube, it's another Self-Care Session with Dieter & Jett!

Get off me, you hound...

☝🏻Just a heads up, below the cut we'll be briefly mentioning some themes with regards to sexual trauma - it's nothing heavy or detailed, but it's okay if you'd rather not read it. We get it, and we completely understand. 🖤

Sex. It's a wonderful, wonderful thing, right? (And if, you haven't experienced it yet, trust us, it's wonderful.)

And no matter how you choose to express yourself sexually, or your sexual preference, we're here today to talk about the inner workings of the mind, ⚙️ specifically your mind, when it comes to feeling confident and free in your sexuality.

We're going to talk about sexual expression & sexual repression today.

And you thought this was going to be straight up porn, right D?

Yeah, I know you too well, bud. Sorry to disappoint.

Sexual expression is often a topic that people hesitate to talk about openly. But did you know that exploring your sexuality can actually be an effective way to combat depression and improve your mental health?

I know, amazing right, D?

Yeah, you look totally enthused about it there, bud. 🙄

Embracing your body and cultivating self-confidence is vital to expressing yourself sexually. Many people struggle with self-esteem and body image or dysmorphia issues, which can hinder their sexual experience. It's important to focus on the positive aspects of your body and to feel comfortable in your own skin.

Sexual expression is a broad term that can refer to any kind of sexual activity, from self-pleasure to intercourse. It can also include more creative outlets, like writing erotica or making art with a sexual theme.

D, that's... Urm... Yeah.

There are many benefits to be gained from sexual expression. For one, it can help reduce stress and anxiety levels. It can also increase feelings of pleasure and intimacy, which can boost mental health overall. And, sexual expression can be a tool for exploring and understanding your own sexuality, as well as increasing communication and intimacy within a relationship.

If you’re struggling with mental health issues like depression, sexual expression can be an important part of some treatment towards that. In fact, research has shown that it can be an effective way to combat depression symptoms.

So if you’re feeling down, don’t be afraid to explore your sexuality and get creative with your self-expression. It could be just what you need to start feeling better!

Yes, D, later... I'm in the middle of something here. Sheesh. 🙄

Sexual expression is a broad term that can refer to any type of sexual activity or behavior. This can include everything from expressing one’s sexuality through art or fashion, to engaging in sexual activities with another person, or by yourself.

Sexual expression can be a powerful tool for mental health and combatting depression. For many people, sex is a way to connect with another person on a physical and emotional level. It can be a source of pleasure, release, and intimacy.

Sex can also help reduce stress, anxiety, and promote relaxation.

The Benefits of Exploring Your Sexuality for Mental Wellbeing

For many people, sexuality is an important part of their identity. Exploring one’s sexuality can be a liberating experience that allows them to express themselves in a new and exciting way.

It can also help to build self-confidence and combat negative body image issues. Sexual expression can also lead to increased communication skills, as well as improved intimacy in relationships. Ultimately, these benefits can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual life.

Strategies for Connecting with Your Sexuality and Improving Your Mental Health

Sexual expression is not only a healthy part of life, but can also be a powerful tool in combating depression.

When we're open and honest about our sexuality, we are more likely to feel good about ourselves and our bodies, which can lead to improved mental health. Additionally, sexual expression can help us connect with our partners on a deeper level...

Some more than others, clearly...

Here's some things that you can do:

Talk about your desires with your partner. Discussing sexual fantasies and interests can make sex more exciting and satisfying for both of you. Communication is key! 🗨

Be creative in the bedroom. Try new things, experiment, and have fun!

⚠️ Always practice safe, consensual sex.

Get outside help if needed. If you’re struggling to get in touch with your sexuality or improve your sex life, consider seeking out therapy or counseling from a sex therapist or other qualified professional.

Take care of yourself physically. Eating well, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep will all help improve your overall health - including your sexual health.

Be mindful of your mental health. Sometimes, the last thing we want to do is get jiggy with it when we're feeling blue. Depression can also reduce your libido. If you’re dealing with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues, talk to your doctor or therapist about how they may be impacting your sex life.

☝🏻And don't forget, any kind of sexual activity should always be consensual. Always conform to the principles of morality and legality (i.e. not breaking the law or causing sexual harm to others), and you should always be in a safe, comfortable space where you can, and have the right, to say no.

So we've talked about sexual expression, but what about sexual repression and what is the difference, D?

Okay, maybe I'll talk about this one...

What is Sexual Repression?

When you see or hear the word repressed, it automatically conjures up negative connotations, doesn't it?

But I'm here to break down those negative assumptions.

And so is D... careful, bud. Don't want you poking an eye out with that thing... 😏

Maybe you learned in childhood that sex was unpleasant or just for marriage? Your parents may have told you masturbating or thinking about sex meant you were sinful or dirty? Perhaps you've had an uncomfortable experience, or have suffered some sexual trauma? As a result, you've learned to squash your (perfectly natural) desires in order to protect yourself.

Typically, sexual repression happens in response to restrictive ideas or attitudes about sex.

Parents, or other caregivers, may teach these ideas directly, but you might also simply absorb them from watching other people or influences, as you grow up.

At first, you might knowingly stifle sexual thoughts, but over time, this repression often becomes automatic. People typically tend to associate sexual repression with religious upbringings, but traditional ideas about sexual behavior can stem from other sources, too.

A history of sexual trauma can also factor into repression. Rape and sexual abuse can cause significant, long lasting emotional pain, and thoughts of sex might trigger memories and further distress, making it difficult to enjoy, or even want sex.

Not wanting to try things like oral sex, anal sex, BDSM, or sex with multiple partners, doesn’t mean you’re repressed however.

There’s nothing wrong with only wanting one type of sex. Some people might label this “prudish,” but remember it’s your desires that matter. If vanilla is your favourite flavour then indulge, baby!

If you don’t want to have sex until you’re in a committed, long-term relationship, that’s entirely your decision. And if you never want to have sex at all in your life, that is perfectly fine and acceptable too.

No-one should dictate to you how you choose to express yourself sexually.

In short, repression refers to deep-seated negative feelings around the very idea of sex. Common themes and behaviors include:

shame and distress associated with sexual fantasies

guilt and other negative feelings after sex or masturbation

difficulty enjoying healthy, consensual sex

negative self-talk after sexual thoughts or activity

believing your body is unattractive or unworthy of sex

Difficulty accepting your sexual orientation. 🌈

If you identify as LGBTQIA+ but grew up in an environment where being straight and cisgender were the only acceptable options, you may have felt the safest hiding your identity and sexuality.

Even when you finally felt like you could express yourself, doing so might not have felt natural, or accepted. Or still might not if you've not fully come out yet.

Despite knowing your orientation is a normal expression of human sexuality, you might continue struggling with guilt or fear around your identity, especially when trying to counter years of upbringing where your questions or curiosities have been stifled.

What can you do about it?

First, know that sexual repression is real, not all in your head. Second, know it isn’t your fault.

Thirdly, talk about it!

Simply having an awareness of the signs of repression and how it affects you can help you take steps toward countering it.

Talking about how you feel and what you desire is perfectly natural, and highly encouraged. You can talk to others who have been in a similar position to see how they have learnt to combat their own feelings. You can talk to a family member or a trusted friend, or you can talk to someone professionally.

Practice mindfully accepting sexual thoughts. Mindfulness can help you become more comfortable with sexual thoughts by increasing your awareness of them and learning to accept them without judgment.

Read up on sex positivity. Sex positivity can help counter sexual repression, so getting more comfortable with the idea of sex as a healthy activity can help you work through repression. Exploring sex positivity could involve reading book or stories about sexual expression. It can also mean familiarizing yourself with sexual expression in films, and art.

There’s always porn-

Ethical or independent porn, D. 🙄

You can also find toned-down explicit scenes in ordinary books and movies, too, so you don’t have to look for erotica specifically, unless you want to.

Get comfortable with your body. Repression can sometimes affect how you feel about your own body.

Instead of loving and accepting your physical self, you might have a tendency to hide or desexualize your body by wearing loose, constricting clothes and avoiding nakedness.

To increase your comfort with your own body, you might try:

looking at yourself in the mirror naked

listing five things you like about your body

sleeping naked to enjoy the feel of your body

masturbation - take some time to really get to know your body

Talk to your partner (if you have one). Sometimes, opening the door to conversation with an understanding partner can help you feel more comfortable voicing your desires.

Mindfulness during sex can also help you recognize when you enjoy something, since it lets you focus on your experience without letting unwanted thoughts distract you.

This way, you can better express your enjoyment at the things you are happy and most comfortable with.

☝🏻And don't forget, any kind of sexual activity should always be consensual.

So, D, would you say you're comfortable at expressing yourself sexually?

Well, I'm hardly surprised there.

Now, I did say we could have some uh... fun, after this post, didn't I? And we're at the end, so...

Okay mister, go get yourself ready. Assume the position.

Got something new I want to try today... 😏

Dieter and I hope you know that no matter how you choose to express yourself sexually, that as long as you do so in a mindful way and are kind to yourself, it can really benefit your mental wellbeing in the long term. 🧠❤️

We love you, and we'll see you next week for more Self-Care with Dieter & Jett!

Stay kind, stay creamy. 🖤

YOU. ARE. STRONGER. THAN. YOU. THINK. 🖤

ℹ️ Dieter and I always strive to bring you unbiased, fact-checked advice. We're not licensed therapists, so we do a lot of research to ensure we can provide helpful and informative posts. Well, I do. Dieter mostly sits around eating KitKats.

Do you. Then do Dieter.

More Dieter & Jett love here

#self care with dieter & jett #dieter bravo #dieter bravo the bubble #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #you are stronger than you think #do you #then do dieter #jett's pedro boys #jett has spoken

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