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starboundsingularities · 2 months

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good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder

#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess

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🥚 eggvidenced Follow

honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

date posted: june 23, 2010

1,834,853 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though

🧊 just--ice Follow

okay now they're just making lawyers up

#also didn't mvk die or something?

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🔥 triedbyfire Follow

why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder

🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow

so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

are you gonna address the copaganda thing or

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🌻 attorneybout Follow

he's so. 😳

📂 trialanderror Follow

why is he defending

📂 trialanderror Follow

OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???

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🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow

i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all

🥜 liberdeez Follow

op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.

🔐 wrightorwrong Follow

hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!

🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow

net 0 information post

#thanks again lawblr

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🍒 cherriescoola Follow

btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life

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🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow

December 28, 2016

YES!!!

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🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow

guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do

🔪 violencekilling Follow

you gotta let him rob you that's the law

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👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow

look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name

💼 courtofwaw Follow

bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late

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📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited

#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore

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🐺 lawnewolf Follow

i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs

🌈 lawsbian Follow

the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.

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🔮 inhighspirits Follow

why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy

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💞 lawveyourself Follow

seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree

💞 lawveyourself Follow

what do you mean evidence fraud

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🎧 instrumentalillness Follow

fuck you *unguilties your love*

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🎀 copiicat Follow

perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me

#ace attorney #ace attorney spoilers #dashboard simulator #dash simulator #dashboard sim #dash sim #unreality #fake dashboard #fake dash #post simulator #long post #average day on lawblr i think #'op what is the timeframe for this' not applicable people reblog 10 year old posts on here all the time /lh #but sometime after turnabout serenade.#'isn't one of these urls a real blog' yeah she wanted to be included /lh

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lawschoolruinedme · 2 years

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#lawblr #real lawblr #roe v wade

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vividstardustrevolution · 6 months

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Disabled people (both people with physical disabilities and people with psychological disabilities) should be able to get housing, food, medical needs, etc met without having to work or stay in school. ...Okay, really, everyone deserves access to free or affordable housing, food, and medical care, but disabled people ESPECIALLY deserve it because if I, a law student with "low support needs" autism, depression, GAD, OCD, and ADHD, cannot afford to take a break from school and take a semester off because I'd have to start repaying my loans because I had to drop down to three credits last fall and because I would have to get a job, so it wouldn't really be a break (which, I have had one job in my life, and I'm not fully convinced it wasn't a fluke, and also, trying to maintain a job when you have disabilities is difficult), I can only imagine that disabled people with higher support needs are even more fucked than me when it comes to being able to get housing and food and medical care without much, if any, funding.

Yes, Medicaid, Medicare, Food Stamps, and housing programs exist in the US, but, uh, I hate to break it to y'all, but that doesn't fully fix the problem, at all. There are a lot of old apartment complexes that are straight up inaccessible if you use a wheelchair. I'm living in one now. Applying for Medicaid and other programs can be a pain in the ass, especially when you're disabled.

"Just live with your parents!" My parents were emotionally abusive and emotionally neglectful, transphobic, and they literally harassed me so much during my 1L year that I still have nightmares.

"Live with a roommate!" I tried to. It went fucking terribly.

"Are you really disabled if you're able to be in law school?" YES. YES I AM.

Actually, on that note, law schools and the law profession need to become more accommodating for disabled people ASAP. Buck v. Bell needs to be overturned. Courts should be wheelchair accessible. Having to get past seven plus different forms of ableism just to graduate and pass the bar is ridiculous. Seriously, can we get some resources for disabled people in law school and the law profession, please?

Disabled rights matter, and we have every right to be able to live in peace and get our needs met, regardless of our support needs, disabilities, or anything else.

#disability #disability rights #actually autistic #actually adhd #actually disabled #ocd #actually ocd #lawblr #disabled law student #US centric but it has to be said #In all seriousness though please I need a semester off #actually traumatized #cw abuse mention #accessibility #real lawblr

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bemusedlybespectacled · 2 years

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so, in an update to alex jones' lawyers royally fucking up, they attempted to file an emergency motion asking for a mistrial. what new information we have:

the reason andino reynal had those documents is because norm pattis, alex jones' lawyer in a separate defamation case in connecticut, sent over all the documents he had to reynal, which included a clone of jones' phone.

part of that file was the private mental health records of the plaintiffs in the connecticut case. norm pattis may be allowed to have those documents as part of discovery on his side, but reynal isn't allowed to because those people aren't involved in this case.

reynal DID respond to bankston alerting him that he'd sent him stuff on accident by basically saying "oops, that was an accident, I'll get you different information later," and then 1) did not say anything else, like "those are work product" or "those are attorney/client privileged," and 2) didn't send anything else. so it's not even like he meant to send X file and sent Y instead, he never intended to send anything.

both sides were aware of the existence of some kind of text messages/emails from jones, but reynal repeatedly said that they had looked for documents on jones' phone and they had been deleted or did not exist, so they could not provide anything to the plaintiffs. which means he lied to the court MULTIPLE TIMES.

the judge is VERY clearly pissed off at reynal at this point for wasting her fucking time. she responded to his motion for a mistrial with, literally, "that's just a throw-away, right? like you don't actually mean that you want a mistrial?" like she is straight-up saying to reynal "there's no way you're seriously asking me this" and he's like "yes I am." OOF.

#alex jones sandy hook trial #personal #bb is a lawyer #lawblr #real lawblr

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themirokai · 25 days

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Dear Adobe,

No matter how many stars or pretty colors or pop ups you use to highlight your “AI Assistant” and “Generative summary” I will still want to smash it with a brick.

Get your plagiarism machine off my confidential and proprietary document assholes.

#I get pissed off every time I open acrobat #which is dozens of times per day #lawblr #real lawblr

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attorney-anon · 4 months

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Hey, I’m a law student and I’m also autistic and ADHD and I was wondering if you have any tips for working in law as a neurodivergent person? I love my course and I can’t wait to work but the 85% unemployment statistic really scares me.

This is a long answer, so I'm going to cut it for the sake of mobile users. I do link some products below; I'm not getting paid, and I'm only linking them because they honestly work for me. Also, as a caveat, a lot of this advice assumes that you're American and/or working in-person at a private law firm; unfortunately, that's my only experience other than a month doing part-time intake for my regional legal aid service.

The biggest hurdle you will meet is the bar exam*: you need a study buddy who does not have ADHD and can help keep you on track. Don't study separately then meet up; do things like watching lecture videos together and keeping pace with one another in person. I'm not ADHD myself, but my best friend and forever study partner is, and she struggled to self-start.

Buy a bar prep course. This is not the time to be a scrooge; don't buy Kaplan just because it's cheaper (it also sucks). Barbri and Themis are both good - of these, use whichever you can get for cheapest or, if the costs are comparable, use Barbri if structure gives you comfort and use Themis if you need some control over the order in which you do things. Also use Themis if humor engages you; the Property and Contracts lecturers are hilarious. Stick to your bar prep program, but be gentle with yourself if you fall behind pace - realistically, you need to get through all the topics at least once, but you don't have to do every practice MPT, every practice essay, and every practice MBE quiz. Use the same study techniques that got you through law school. IMO, useful supplemental tools include the Critical Pass flashcards (get them used if possible, or get a referral code from somebody) and the Finz Multistate Method guide. Do your best to treat the bar exam as a game - because it is one.

There's a strategy for every section, and you should practice these strategies. For the MBE, use the Finz method - it works. For the MEE, or any other essay exam, use IRAC - and make up the R if you need to. The UBE, and most state bar exams, are graded such that you do get more points for knowing the rule, but you can still get points if you make up a reasonable-sounding rule and then apply it correctly. For the MPT, just throw in as many case and rule cites as possible. Try to cite every document you're given.

Join a bar prep FB group if you use FB; I was in Themis Memes for Should-Be-Studying Teens, but I know there's a Barbri group too. I found that being able to laugh at my bar prep course made it less miserable to do it. Don't be afraid to turn the videos on 2x or 0.5x speed - or faster or slower as needed. Some of the Themis lecturers talk to slowly that we went up to 3x; one of them talks so fast I had to slow him down.

Practice for the test in as many different environments as you can. I took the 2020 Pandemic Bar, so my bar was different than standard (I took it in a hotel room with my back to the door and proctors patrolling the hallways, it was mildly traumatizing fun), but I highly recommend getting used to noise while you're taking the test. Your ADHD/Autism hyperfocus will help here - make the bar exam your hyperfixation to the extent possible.

Once you pass the bar exam, your next hurdle will be the job search. You are going to have to mask for interviews, there's just no getting around it, but how much you mask will depend on your area of law. Big Law firms and intense, litigation-focused practice areas (e.g., business lit or criminal law) will expect you to be gregarious, friendly, and charming from the get-go; less litigation-focused practice areas (e.g., probate or family law) will often have more tolerance for quieter, less aggressive types.

Do not panic if you wind up at a less-than-favorable firm on your first or even your second job; a lateral shift between firms won't kill your resume as long as you can give a tactful reason you left (e.g., "I found that I prefer to focus on X instead of Y," or "I found that I had more opportunities to explore X at Y firm, and I am interested in focusing on X"). It is not normal to cry every day after work. It is not normal to routinely have panic attacks in the bathroom.

Once you have a job, billing is going to be difficult unless you gamify it. I use the Finch self-care app, so I have a task at the end of every week to make sure I have billed my time. My friend rewards herself for every day she bills by buying herself a new pen. Some people thrive off of timers (MyCase and Clio are popular case management software programs; both have timers built-in), but if nothing else, simply note when you start tasks and when you finish them by sending e-mails to yourself (or others, if relevant) at the end of every task. If your case management software can integrate with your e-mail (MyCase can integrate with Outlook, for instance), then use that to tag outgoing e-mails so you can be sure each one gets billed.

Outside of Big Law or intense practice areas, very few people bill 8 hours per day - a lot of the work you do will be non-billable, but also you will suffer from exhaustion or burnout if you try to bill 8 hours per day (my minimum is 20 hours per week, which is just 4 hours a day). You also will usually have some discretion in billing - use that to make yourself feel better if inattention issues make something take longer than you feel is fair. As for billing enough, if you find that you are most productive outside of work hours, find a firm that will let you access client files offsite - work at home if they'll let you.

I do a lot of my best billing either in the mornings right when I get to work or at 10:00 at night. That's okay so long as you take breaks during the workday (I watch a lot of TikTok during my breaks, but I also fiddle with various online games and such); you'll need mental rest to reset between cases. If you struggle with task-switching, use a break to help reset your focus. I strongly recommend setting an alarm for yourself during breaks so that time blindness doesn't derail you. Make your alarm kind of annoying; something you won't just mindlessly ignore.

Let yourself hyperfocus on things; all of that time you spend researching and drafting and correcting and perfecting that motion or brief is billable, and it's also good practice of law - your client and your partner will appreciate your thoroughness, and the judge will almost never hate it (some judges prefer brevity, but I've never had a judge upset at me for wordiness).

I also recommend getting apps that can automate things for you; I use Espanso to make my life easier by having easy-to-type shortcuts for common phrases and information (e.g., the current date, my bar card number, my work e-mail address, etc.). You can customize these things to make sense to your own brain - your process doesn't have to work for anyone but you. Similarly, I use macros in Word to make drafting go faster by letting buttons do all my formatting for me.

Excel sheets make excellent task lists because you can split them up by case, and set them up to highlight things (e.g., today's date) automatically. Most firms will have some kind of "docket meeting" where everyone goes over the status on each case - some people prefer handwritten notes (my best friend does), some people prefer digital notes (I have an excel workbook I use). Find a method that reduces distractions but lets you keep up with the flow of conversation.

On the topic of technology, if your firm provides a computer for you, or if your firm will provide accessories to supplement your own computer, push to have multiple monitors - I use my own laptop, but my boss provides monitors and I have two plus my laptop screen. It is WAY easier to keep up with billing if you can keep your time entry software open and visible on one of your screens.

You will be spending a lot of time in your office; make it comfortable. Once you are making enough to get by, invest in a good office chair (that you own, so you can take it with you if you leave the firm) and some basic office supplies that you like, such as a post-it note dispenser (mine is a cat!). My office chair is designed to let me sit cross-legged - I highly recommend having an office chair that matches your most comfortable sitting style. Having some things that are yours will make any future moves less awkward. I also strongly, strongly recommend getting some simple and quietish fidget toys - I have several spinners, wacky tracks, tangles, and clicky fidgets in one of my desk drawers, amongst others, to help me self-stim, as well as a sensory sticker on my desk pad (on the linked set, I have the rough version of the bottom middle sticker, the rainbow finger labyrinth one).

For me, I find that actual litigation requires scripting. Whether it's an oral argument or just a temporary orders hearing, I typically have every word I intend to say written down as much as I can (re-direct examination or re-cross examination can't be scripted before the day of, but I usually at least scrawl a summary of the question I need to ask as I'm taking notes). I don't necessarily read from it, and sometimes I veer off-script, but there is a specific comfort in having the words scripted out. On the few occasions I have ad-libbed things, I find that I come off less authoritative and confident, which gives the judge the impression that I am guessing. I also find comfort in having a copy of the code I need (which is always the Texas Family Code for me) on-hand at the counsel table. You are allowed to tell the judge you'd like to consult the statute when the judge asks you a question.

I also find that, for courtroom litigation, it's worthwhile to make sure your court clothes are comfortable. Courtrooms in my area are universally a little too warm, so I have a linen blazer that breathes and a variety of shell tops that don't have sleeves. I also have bad ankles, so I wear exclusively flats despite the fact that I am less than 5 feet tall. For me, heat sensitivity is a part of my sensory issues so I am all about setting myself up for success. It's also worthwhile to bring extra water bottles; at my firm (we are almost all ND in some regard), the standard is 2 per attorney and 1 for each support staff, then 1 for the client.

For out-of-court days, even "business" can be comfortable if you're a creative shopper. My last firm required business attire, though not necessarily courtroom attire. I wore a lot of dresses to stay cool, and a solid-color dress in a modest cut paired with a black blazer (which you can remove when you're just working in your office) almost always makes the cut. For those who don't like or can't wear dresses, comfortable slacks and a modest blouse or dress shirt, paired with a blazer, also works. My current firm only requires business casual for client meetings, courtroom attire for court, and otherwise as long as we cover our shoulders and don't wear shorts, we're good to go. I use a cardigan to cover my shoulders when I'm outside my office, as most of my blouses are sleeveless. It's worthwhile to invest in a good office sweater anyway; I like a thin t-shirt material cardigan for me, but my officemate uses a pullover knit sweater. Do what's comfortable.

Office meetings, or even court hearings, can sometimes get loud and overstimulating - buy you some Flare Audio Calmer ear inserts, they really do help take some of the 'sharpness' off of the noise. I also recommend a playlist that contains binaural beats (assuming you like them) or colored (white, brown, pink, etc) noise and a solid pair of ANC headphones or earbud, depending on your preference (the linked products are far from the only options, they're just reasonably-priced options that I know work; I personally use first-gen Airpod Pros). If you don't like binaural beats or white noise, instrumentals of pop songs are also excellent.

You can also get phone apps that layer binaural beats over your music - I find that it sometimes helps me calm down when I'm close to a meltdown, though I personally feel worse at the lower frequencies (I usually stay around the alpha-beta frequency line, but ymmv). I think there are probably also some apps for colored noise over your music, but I haven't looked. If you haven't before, I recommend experimenting with binaural beats and/or colored noise - I find that they can help calm down some of the staticky feeling I get from overstimulation.

Offices also sometimes involve other sensory dangers - like, for instance, food texture issues (another big one for me). You can often get out of things like that by simply explaining that the food doesn't agree with you, or that you're not very hungry - or, if your boss knows that you have sensory issues (mine knows I'm autistic), you can just quietly explain that it's a sensory problem and you have it under control. Keep some safe snacks in your office. You can avoid alcohol, if you're picky about it or just don't like it, by explaining that you're not in the mood to drink (or that you don't drink, period) and that you'll stick to soda/tea/water/whatever. Only major assholes will push past that.

Most coping mechanisms for sensory issues can be justified with "I don't feel good" or "I have a headache."

If your office chair hurts your back, get up and walk around. You are not in elementary school; at most firms, you can step out and just let your coworkers know where'/how to find you, and when you'll be back.

For intra-office and extra-office communications, if you have any doubts about the quality of the communication, you can put it in writing afterwards. A quick e-mail saying, "Okay, so this is my understanding of X, please let me know if I've misunderstood anything or if anything changes" is a good CYA to cover any communication difficulties; don't use idioms or shorthand in these e-mails - actually spell out exactly what you think happened, or what you think you've been asked to do.

If you're worried about your tone in written communications, Chat GPT is good at doing a first draft. It can also do a first draft of your attorney bio, if you're asked to write it yourself. Tell it the message you want to convey, and the tone in which you need it said. For instance, if you need to convey to a pro se opposing party that your world does not revolve around them, but you want to do it professionally, you might tell Chat GPT, "Write a professional e-mail to my opposing party conveying that my world does not revolve around them and that I will get to them when I get to them." That won't give you a perfect e-mail, but it gives you an idea of how to set the tone. Never trust any citation the thing gives you, but you can also use it to simplify complex thoughts for motions that you need to be simpler.

Law practice is also emotionally draining. Take the time to cry if you need to, or to go outside or into a breakroom and breathe.

Essentially, working in law when you're ND means finding tools to help you. It's definitely doable (as I said, most of my current firm is ND), but you'll need to find coping mechanisms to soothe yourself. If you've gotten into law school, I think it's clear that you're competent enough to work. The trick is not burning yourself out entirely, which I hope the above can help with.

* - This is not and never will be an endorsement of bar exams as a measure of competence for new attorneys. The bar exam is a racist and classist institution born from the desire of old white men to keep their good-ol'-boys club exclusive. Fuck the NCBE and abolish bar exams nationwide.

#lawblr #real lawblr #ask anon #anonymous ask #bar exam #attorney

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noirandchocolate · 11 months

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It's really fun that I've become my office's resident 'expert' on a particular relatively new legal topic because two of the court opinions that have been issued in recent years on the subject were copypasted with minimal changes from my memos on the cases.* So now when I write memos for new cases dealing with the same or similar subject matter, I am often just quoting myself, but with a judge's name pasted over mine to give my words actual precedential weight. There's this added layer of humor for me that I'm now essentially writing opinions that cite to other opinions I wrote. Which is something judges do openly, but I do in secret.

I am the ghost in this area of law in my state, and my power grows each time somebody bitches baselessly about something this one agency does.

*Mostly just to change bits where I said 'I recommend that you find X' to 'we find X.' Things like that.

#kidk says stuff #work #real lawblr

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youjustgotlawyered · 2 months

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Israeli troops opened fire on aid trucks delivering food to starving Palestinians.

Over a hundred people killed. Hundreds injured.

There’s no justification. No excuse. These are war crimes. This is genocide and we have to refuse to be complacent and complicit.

#lawblr #the real lawblr #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #palestine #free palestine #israel #tw: war #signal boost #gaza genocide #free gaza #I’m Jewish so don’t even start

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cuteness-overlord · 8 months

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Should the bar exam be abolished? Absolutely. But am I still thankful to find out that I passed? ABSOLUTELY.

#bar exam #real lawblr

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lawschoolruinedme · 1 year

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#credit to Emilyandthemachine #this is why you gotta be on the lawblr discord #lawblr #real lawblr #friends don’t let friends go to law school

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vividstardustrevolution · 6 months

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Do I enjoy learning about law? Yes. Do I regret going to law school? Not really. Do I have an intense love-hate relationship with US law? Yes.

Am I burnt out on law school? Also yes. I want to be here, but I'm so, so tired.

If you're considering law school, there are four questions you need to ask yourself. 1) Do I like learning about law? (If you answer "no," do not go to law school; law school is tolerable for me because I enjoy learning about law, even subjects like property and torts.) 2) Am I prepared to read a lot, write a lot, and want to yell at certain judges and justices without being able to do so? 3) Do I have a social support system or mental health support system? 4) Am I prepared for the sheer workload and the bullshit that comes with law?

If you don't answer yes to at least two of those questions, do not go to law school. I'm begging you.

#lawblr #real lawblr #I'm so tired.

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bemusedlybespectacled · 2 years

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Apologies for the off topic but would you have any tips on writing lawyers who arent just smarmy?

I DO INDEED.

Some negative traits for a lawyer character that aren't "smarmy asshole:"

Being gossipy. I have never, in my entire fucking life, met a lawyer who didn't like drama, and I am including myself in that. I know the exact details of at least three different affairs involving other attorneys in my area, all of which happened years before I started work. In law school I knew which professors had married students (and, in one case, divorced his wife who was also a professor at the same law school to marry a student), who was sleeping with whom, and who'd been kicked out for various infractions. This does extend to our clients, and we definitely will complain about them to other attorneys (within the bounds of not sharing confidential information).

On a similar note, being critical of other attorneys. So-and-so never files motions on time, or doesn't know the rules of evidence well enough to make objections, or can't write their way out of a paper bag.

Being competitive. This is more a thing with litigators, I think, but god does it feel good when you crush your opponent into the dirt. Law is an adversarial system with winners and losers, and it is so fun to be the winner. Even when you like the opponent, there's something innately satisfying when you destroy them with your superior skills.

Not knowing how other people operate. This can take a variety of forms. For some people, it's that "I have no idea if what I'm talking about is common knowledge or something only I know, so I need to explain it in detail" thing. For others, it can be "oh, not everyone thinks attempted murder is funny. Whoopsie." I had a conversation with a fellow attorney where I nodded along politely while he complained to me that representing landlords was no longer profitable for him, all the while thinking, "Does he....... does he not know that I do eviction defense?"

Being know-it-alls. I feel like this goes without saying, but quite a lot of lawyers are very confident in their knowledge and will be assholes about it. However, this doesn't stop them from...

Being perfectly average. The common idea about lawyers is that they're all Harvard-educated geniuses who know everything there is to know about everything. And I am here to tell you that lawyers are just as capable of being dumbasses as anyone else. I am incapable of doing math, and so are a lot of lawyers (the judge in the Alex Jones case kept joking about her inability to do math). When I was in law school editing the students' journal articles, I needed to give a remedial training on how to write essays because some people genuinely didn't fucking know how. And I'm not even getting into the guys who didn't know what sundown towns were.

On the flip side, some positive traits for a lawyer character:

Caring a lot. It is really, really common to burn out on law, either because your subject matter is depressing or your schedule is fucked or your clients just keep being in horrible situations that you can't help them in.

Being fucking nerds. About the law, about other interests like history or science, about fandom shit. I just found out that one of the public defenders here is taking his girlfriend (also a lawyer) to a con this week; he's easily 10+ years older than me and really good at oral arguments. I am mutuals on Tumblr with so many fucking lawyers. And that can include getting excited about weird shit, like me watching the Alex Jones trial the way other people watch sports events.

Having good social skills. Law is a service profession. Even in cases where your client isn't a human person (in-house counsel for a corporation, mergers & acquisitions, criminal prosecution where your client is The State), you are still providing a service and you are going to need to interact with the humans that benefit from that service, even if it's the complaining witness in a criminal case or the CEO of a company you work for. Attorneys with bad social skills – who are obstructionist to their opponents, or abuse their staff, or are bad with clients, or are smarmy assholes – are not liked in the profession, and being liked goes a long way with other attorneys. The number of times I've done things like call another attorney and said something like, "Hey, your client is violating the custody order, can you tell him to knock it off so I don't need to file something about it?" or "Why don't we both knock CPS out of this case and then do the adversarial thing when they're gone?" is... a lot.

In general:

Most lawyers are not making shitloads of money unless they are at very specific firms or doing extremely specific kinds of work. The majority of lawyers are basically middle class. So while the "rich asshole lawyer" stereotype exists for a reason, most lawyers aren't.

We have very strict ethical rules that we need to follow. Now, the ethical rules were implemented because people weren't being ethical on their own, but we do have them. If you want to be a nerd, go look up your local bar's sanctions page.

We specialize in different areas of law. Just like how an eye doctor might vaguely remember stuff about the endocrine system from medical school but probably doesn't know more than that, a criminal lawyer is probably not going to go into, say, wills & trusts. They can, but most people find their niche in an area they like.

There are other kinds of law than just corporate and criminal. Where is my seasons-long TV series about legal aid? Environmental prosecution? TAXES?

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