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solitary-traveler · 1 month

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Stars Around My Scars

The scars on your wrists stood out to him though and he usually expresses great displeasure towards it. “I don't like them” he frowns, “They reek of desperation”

Kabukimono x Gn!Reader

Notes: Hiii, so um let me clear a couple things first. I'm not able to post the second part for ascent to oblivion since I'm busy and exams are coming up. I promise I'll upload it as soon as possible. Take this simple gift for now. And yes this is a repost. Anyway, I just merged them together. That was a shitty decision honestly. Seriously, me and my impatient ass yesterday-

Art: @OogyPng (X)

Warning: mentions of self harm, i swear there's fluff-

The beauty of mortal life comes with its finite period of existence, that fleeting period before dissipating in the blink of an eye.

Much akin to that of a firework display.

They explode, bragging their scintillating colors that douse the sun in jealousy. With an ear-piercing blast, it blankets the night sky, fluorescing like the moon as it gleams like the stars above.

If life was momentary for a puny human, why not make use of it?

Why not become a wanderer and travel the world?

You get to region hop and satiate your wanderlust. To encounter unfamiliar faces and attach their names to your expanding friends’ list. To pick up tidbits about riveting stories recounted by elders and children alike. The possibilities are unending, a spectacle waiting to be unboxed.

Yet there’s always the impending menace of falling victim to the grappling claws of solitude.

You’ve been plunged into that headspace a few times already. Despite your protests, the glister of joy and love you’ve gotten from simple things flickered faintly, the bleakness settling in. Your surroundings felt barren, as the dismal winds swept away every inch of ecstasy from within you. Your godforsaken history comes back to taunt you, a reminder of your internal demons who’s having a field day tormenting you.

“You’re so fucking petty it’s almost hilarious. So undeserving. Why are you still here? You’re not worth anything. And you’ll never be.”

“An accident? That’s a bullshit excuse.Without you, the accident wouldn’t occur. It’s all your fault. Everything is.”

“Everyone hates you. Why can’t you get that right? Everyone you talk to finds a fault in you that they don’t dare say to your face. But they know. They can’t help but judge you. Of course they would wouldn’t they? You’re a weirdo”

“A disgrace.”

“A worthless piece of shit.”

The thoughts bounce within your mind, endlessly toying with your emotional state.

You emit a burst of bitter laughter.

It‘s cold.

The temperature was rather freezing despite the incandescence the sun was offering. You can barely feel it radiate through your skin, as a pang smashes through your heart.

You don’t want to be cold.

Your gaze shifts to your sword resting on the patch of grass beside you.

Another benefit of wandering. No one would suspect that your scars are self-inflicted.

As far as you’re concerned, It’s only natural for wanderers to acquire marks that resemble cuts and bruises on their bodies. Incessantly faced with the turmoil of threats and hazards, scars are assumed to serve as tokens of the risk they have confronted on their previous journeys.

Besides, it’s not like you wanted to do it. It just felt right. Like the self imposed wounds on your wrists belonged there. It felt as if the blade slicing your hand like paper was supposed to do it. That watching the red liquid flow out of it was because you deserved it.

At least you’re not cold anymore. Who knew blood could be so warm?

—-------------------------

The distant display of lights crackle against the tranquil night.

You flash a mixture of colors, expressing the turmoil of what you refer to as your emotions. Yet the speck of your allure was gradually dwindling.

It wouldn’t take long before you vanish.

Like a pretty firework.

But what use is a pretty firework when it waves and dances all alone with the stars, concealed far from anyone's vision?

What use is a pretty firework when they're just meant to blink momentarily and dissolve?

You got your answer when you met an eccentric puppet during one of your travels. Sweet, little Kabukimono found your dying spark and rekindled it with his saccharine smiles and candied words.

You grasped the concept of how fireworks are meant to shine for others to see, for at least one person to view and relish. For them to admire. And for them to love.

And Kabukimono loved you.

There’s no denying that.

Your traveling companion cherished you, always doting you with his presence. He would never leave your side unaccounted for and often offers you praises that you find doubtful.

“You’re so cool Y/N! You’re so efficient in fighting! Can you teach me??”

“I didn’t mean to stare! You just… looked pretty from here…”

“I just wanted to spend time with you! …Is that so bad?”

Much to your skepticism, you find yourself hesitating to swallow his words. They felt like lies, sugar coated phrases meant to lure you into a trap of false hope. False sense of security. I mean, who would find you this interesting? Who would want to be by your side? Who would want to constantly seek you out because they enjoyed your presence? Because they enjoy being with you?

Lies.

Every honeyed statement that rolls out of his tongue are nothing but lies.

He was going to leave you. Sooner or later.

But for whatever reason, the puppet stayed. He would not tire from his sickening performance of pretending to care for you. He should visit the theater sometimes, given how top tier his acting skills are. He claims with a two faced, innocent grin that the place beside you was his, and only his for as long as you were together. He says he wants to know about you—to study and learn what makes you… you—all the while those deceitful puppy eyes stare at you whenever you recount tales from your journey.

You’re stubborn self refuses to acknowledge the fact that he’s showing you genuine affection. Authentic fondness.

Maybe… it’s not an act?

You were perplexed. You aren’t sure how to navigate through the solution of this problem, considering how you have no experiences regarding this matter. You aren’t aware of what to do, of what to say. It was frightening really, venturing into uncharted territories.

So you do nothing.

And Kabukimono remains by your side.

The puppet was nosey when it came to you. One time, he caught a glimpse of your scars when you attempted to snatch a fish for dinner, only to result in you falling into the water. You sure had plenty of them. He sighs, wondering how much they must’ve hurt. Poor you.

In all honesty, he pities you. You carry an aura of despair, a chilling sensation that never seems to go away. It was attached to you in a way, like a melancholic burden that lays upon your shoulders. A suffering the puppet doesn’t want you going through.

He would often ask about the origin of your scars. You were quite reluctant at first, but his persistence was soon rewarded by one of your wondrous tales. He cherishes your stories. It was always enchanting to hear about different regions that he can not visit.

The scars on your wrists stood out to him though and he usually expresses great displeasure towards it.

“I don't like them” he frowns, “They reek of desperation”

In the young Kabuki’s mind, he notices that they don’t match the other marks on the surface of your skin. They were messy and painful to look at, like a blend of misery and torment was doused over that certain area. A mixture that can’t be dried, that can’t be removed.

He detested seeing you drowning in your sorrows.

An idea invaded his thoughts. He picks up a bright yellow marker from your bag and gently clutches your arm. He pops open the cap and uses your hand as a canvas, doodling little stars around your scars. This warrants an eyebrow raise from you, a look he just dismisses.

“What are you doing?”

He flashes you a grin—one of the many precious expressions he loves to show off to you—as he huffs proudly, “I'm drawing stars!”

You were baffled. “...Why?”

“So that these little guys can protect you! That way, no more painful scars when I'm not around!”

When I'm not around.

A tiny smile tugs at the corners of your lips.

You were feeling a bit cold today.

But Kabukimono seemed to have warmed you up in his own way.

For a moment, your inner demons and insecurities were thrown behind a wall, padlocked there while Kabuki held the key. The world stilled, no movement dared to interrupt the serene moment between two wanderers who found solace in the presence of each other.

Your gaze never left the indigo haired puppet as he continues to work on the stars. He was focused on it like it was some masterpiece he was dying to show to the world.

…Seriously, he's such a silly guy.

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mary-kasexual · 1 month

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Haven't been catting it out as much as I've liked, so as compensation here's all four leaders + some lore about the clans: Thunderclan

Born a kittypet named Christian, Eaglestar initially joined Thunderclan after being cast out onto the streets by his twolegs and the leader taking pity on him. However, Eaglestar proved to be incredibly cunning, working his way up the ranks and using his connections to eventually take the reins of the clan altogether. With this newfound power, Eaglestar naturally abuses it for all its' worth through using it to solve petty disputes and get out of hunting for the day. He has deep-rooted beef with the Shadowclan leader who he's been rivals with since apprenticeship, constantly taking any opportunity he can to one-up or antagonize her.

Riverclan

The youngest of the four leaders at just 23 moons, Reedstar was far from the first pick for leader in the eyes of his clan. After a flood destroyed most of their camp and took the lives of both their leader and deputy in one fell swoop, the clan waited with bated breath for the medicine cat to announce the decision of their new leader. To every cat's surprise however, the medicine cat chose to appoint the easygoing Reeddance of all people, much to the shock and outrage of most of the clan who saw him as unfit. Reedstar tries his best to meet the needs of these agitated cats, but his inexperience just leads most of his efforts to be used as more fuel for the hate mob as rumors of a possible civil war in Riverclan began to spread around like wildfire. Shadowclan

Azaleastar took up the mantle of leader many moons ago after the former deputy was mysteriously found dead in their nest, and she just so happened to be the next best cat to take on the new position. Being one of the best ambush-fighters in her clan, Azaleastar had always had a knack for spotting points of weakness she could exploit... and what better opportunity was there than a broken, divided clan with a hare-brained idiot for a leader? After the flood, she's been picking at Riverclan bit by bit, giddily exploiting their lack of unison for free territory with the intention of taking over their entire hunting grounds and putting her name in the history books. The only thing keeping her from invasion is the threat of Thunderclan, who've been making advances on her territory while they're busy with Riverclan. Windclan

Not wanting to engage with the other three clans, Mangrovestar keeps Windclan in a strict state of isolation. He doesn't care to involve himself in the conflict between Riverclan and Shadowclan, instead just wanting to maintain the prosperity that's reigned in his clan for these past few moons. Of the four leaders currently active, he's easily the most popular amongst his clan for his amicable nature and appearing (mostly) morally good in comparison. However, Mangrovestar tends to be very biased and easily swayed in regard to his judgement which can rub cats the wrong way whenever they're forced to clean the elders' den for a moon while his favorites get little more than a slap on the wrist.

#total drama #warrior cats #td chris #chris mclean #td geoff #td blaineley #td don #warrior cats au #the bangs came with their 9 lives (this is incredibly important to the lore)#blaineleys easily my favorite design of the four btw i love calicos sm #super proud of the fur earrings on her I wanted her to look extra spiffy #also geoff gave me hell. his head. why does it do that. why. he looks like a flatfish... why is he like this #other two were pretty simple though #in fact so simple that in chris's case I had to edit his design because it was scaring me how much he just looked like regular chris 💀#my art #TD warrior cats au

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qqueenofhades · 2 years

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So it looks like Sinema, having gotten her requisite pound of flesh for her billionaire hedge fund buddies (basically, they agreed to keep the carried-interest tax loophole and replace it with an excise tax on stock buybacks), has finally agreed to support the Inflation Reduction Act, otherwise known as the $740 billion "pretty much Build Back Better but we are calling it something different" bill that Manchin and Schumer came out with. If/when it passes, which could be as soon as this weekend, the Democrats will have achieved -- with a 50-50 Senate with two habitual Manchurian candidates, a four-seat House majority, a rampantly fascist opposing party, a Supreme Court openly bent on destroying democracy and personal liberty, and an active criminal investigation into the previous administration -- at least the following:

The American Rescue Plan, aka the first post-inauguration $1.9 trillion Covid relief package, which was the largest investment in the working class since the New Deal;

The bipartisan infrastructure bill, which is the first major structural and transportation modernization and systemic overhaul for the country since the 1970s;

The first significant gun safety legislation in 30 years and since at least the Clinton administration;

Multiple executive orders now signed on protecting abortion rights and access to reproductive care, including travel out of state if necessary;

A bill in the works to officially codify same-sex marriage and thus protect it from SCOTUS;

Reauthorization and improvement of the Violence Against Women Act, including strong new protections for LGBTQ+ and Native American victims of domestic abuse or sexual assault, including the ability for Native courts to prosecute non-Native offenders for sex crimes for the first time in history;

Finally (FINALLY) making lynching a federal hate crime;

The largest climate legislation ever passed in America (this bill), which also establishes a federal minimum 15% corporate tax rate and lowers healthcare costs, including for essential medications like insulin, by, like, a lot;

Passage of the PACT Act, aka expanding healthcare for disabled veterans exposed to burn pits, also the biggest expansion in this field for a generation despite Republicans briefly killing it in an outburst of pettiness;

Consistent big packages of support for Ukraine, rebuilding of foreign alliances, huge bipartisan support for including Sweden and Finland in NATO (hahahaha fuck you Josh Hawley);

The CHIPS act, which creates tech and manufacturing jobs in America and was made even sweeter by how thoroughly they fucked over McTurtle to do it (since oh boy does he deserve a taste of his own medicine);

Ketanji Brown Jackson, the first Black woman on SCOTUS, and not an awful white supremacist stand-in like Clarence Thomas, but a genuinely progressive and thoughtful jurist;

Cancellation of almost $6 billion in student loans for the poorest and most defrauded borrowers, such as those who attended scam for-profit "colleges";

And so on and so forth!!!

So like. Please tell me more about how the Democrats are incompetent, their leadership is bad, they are in Disarray TM, you are a terrible person if you support Biden or give them any credit at all, and you're just not excited to vote because they haven't done anything. Like yes! There is a lot more to do! Despite them suddenly deciding to play ball on this particular occasion, Manchin and Sinema still need to be made irrelevant as soon as possible! But as I said, this is happening with the thinnest of imaginable Congressional control, as the other party is literally trying to destroy democracy in real time before our faces. That is not irrelevant.

Also: ruby-red Kansas curb-stomped an attempt to outlaw abortion rights, and approximately 77% of the entire country supports this current bill. The generic Congressional ballots have all shown major movement toward Democrats, and frankly, I have a feeling that we have only just started to see the full impact of post-Roe fallout. So if you get off your asses, quit whining, and put the work in, we could actually win the midterms and then do EVEN MORE!

So yeah. Uh. Food for thought.

#hilary for ts #politics for ts #'but biden didn't give me a pony!!!'#'sTudEnT lOaNs!!!'#oh like the ones you have not paid a single penny on since he took office #the legislative agenda enacted thus far represents progress in every single left wing issue #and in utterly terrible circumstances #so yeah if you are still saying this #please stfu forever

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beesandflowers · 2 years

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WE’LL BE OKAY

summary: you decide to sleep on the couch after a small argument, but Kuroo can’t sleep without you

pairing: timeskip!kuroo x gender neutral reader

notes: this is my first time posting my work on tumblr so please be mindful! any comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated

wc: 1.1k

warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, angst if you squint, FLUFF!!, slight kissing, established relationship, mentions of arguments (and kuroo’s parents unhealthy marriage)

[3:37 AM]

If there was one thing Kuroo hated more than anything, it was falling asleep without you, especially if he was the reason for it.

While he was silently watching the unmoving ceiling and listening to the clock tick each passing second, you were resting on the L shaped couch on the other side of the door.

The snarky replies and empty insults from earlier kept repeating in Kuroo’s head, filling the empty silence of your bedroom. It was like they were spilling out of his ears and staining the cream colored sheets. Like a loud ringing that he couldn’t escape.

He didn’t mean them, he never would. His fatigue wasn’t an excuse for it, but it was still the only reason behind the petty one sided argument that occurred only four hours ago. He was just mad at everything but he took all of his bottled up anger out on you.

You knew he would never mean it, because, well- it was Kuroo. Sweet, affectionate, dorky Kuroo who loves you more than words could explain. Who shows his love during lazy Sunday mornings when you can’t be bothered to get up, and through the polaroid of you two in his wallet that everyone at the office has seen, and the endless chemistry books he annotates for you which you find so weird, but its okay because he’s the one who does it. Who asks you to tie his tie before work when he’s fully capable of doing so, just so he can admire you, and who remembers the date and location of your first everything’s with little trinkets from each one in a small box on top of the closet (where you can’t reach).

So of course he wouldn’t mean what he said. You just didn’t want to provoke him even further and thought it be best for him to cool off. You weren’t mad at him. Although, this decision was made without Kuroo’s knowledge since you stayed silent for most of the disagreement and wanted to keep your own emotions in check. You might have broken down right then and there if any words came out of your mouth. It wasn’t like he was raising his voice at you, but you —like any other person— hated conflict.

It was incredibly obvious that the words weren’t directed to you since he had said similar things about a new coworker that was giving him a hard time. It became quite clear that he wasn’t yelling at you, but almost, to you. And you let him, because you knew the root of his distress, and because he deserved to let everything out once in a while, just like he let you do the same. Even if this wasn’t the best way to do it, you were sure to talk about it later.

You were willing to be patient for him, and wait for him, and give him comfort because he deserved it for all the times he’s been there for you. But you weren’t able to do that for him at the time since it was almost midnight, and you knew how his brain worked, so you thought this would be best for him.

Though, it might’ve been better to tell him beforehand the actual reason for your sleeping on the couch, but it hadn’t crossed your mind.

Kuroo had a bad habit of overthinking excessively every time you would fight (no matter how big or small), and would doubt every possible detail, only for you to remind him that one fight does not determine your relationship and does not erase your history.

So, as always, the action of you sleeping on the couch was interpreted by Kuroo as the worst thing imaginable. It reminded him of the relationship his parents had, something he always tried to steer away from, and it was rare for you to do this —to be fair, most of your arguments didn’t usually happen right as you were getting ready for bed. This slight miscommunication caused a large amount of discomfort and Kuroo couldn’t bear it any further.

Which is why he quickly decided to lift the duvet off of his body, put on his bunny slippers, and trudge his heavy body out of the bedroom and into the living room. When he spotted your body laying on the worn out couch, he also happened to notice that the pillow wasn’t behind your head —probably ending up somewhere on the floor— and you were in an odd positon. Maybe you were restless too. Maybe this would be okay.

He neared the couch and bent down to place a light kiss on your forehead and proceeded to whisper a small apology that he would repeat in depth when you were awake and ready to listen.

You hummed at him, presumably in your sleep, but he appreciated it nonetheless.

Carefully, he slid both his arms underneath your frame and hauled you into his chest while you subconsciously wrapped your arms and legs around him. Your head had comfortably nuzzled his neck, and he was reminded of all your promises that no matter what happens, you would still love each other.

As he was slowly walking back to your bedroom, enjoying the peace that he couldn’t grasp alone, he felt two feathery kisses placed in the crook of his neck and his shoulder. The kisses were gentle, and lasted for a few seconds before you moved to place another one. They were so precious, and he happily basked in the warmth of your lips on his skin.

He almost wouldn’t have caught it —it was hard not to from the serenity of the environment—, but when the beautiful phrase of:

“I love you, Tetsu.”

Had spilled from your lips in so much as a whisper, his heart had grown three sizes too big, and he was sure it might have compressed his lungs. That would be the only reason for the wonderful ache in his chest. Not an ache of dread or hurt, but one of purity and joy. An ache that only you knew how to cause.

The fact that you declared this while still asleep, made his entire face turn a light pink and the love in his heart to overflow. And he was definitely sure you were asleep. By now he could easily distinguish it with experience from the times you tired to fake being asleep just to tease him.

It was all so domestic, so lovely, and he wouldn’t have traded for the world.

After you were both tucked comfortably into bed, with your boyfriend’s arms securely wrapped around you, along with his quiet words of apology and promise, the both of you could sleep contently.

Because he knew that you guys were going to be okay, and that you would be okay for the rest of your lives to come.

#kuroo x reader #kuroo fluff #kuroo angst #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo x you #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!!#hq fluff #kuroo comfort #haikyu x reader #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo drabble #kuroo imagine

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accursedkaleeshi · 3 months

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RIP General Grievous, you would have loved Order 66 lol

No, but for real. “Grievous survives” fic writers, you’re awesome.

Don't deny that he has committed atrocities upon the galaxy that will take generations to even begin to heal & in numbers unheard of in recent history. Grievous did not care. His job was to inconvenience the Republic for as long as possible & to kill Jedi. And holy shit did he ever. Maybe he considered himself already dead & this dumbass war was just a really fucked up bonus level. (& brother, I’m zerg rushing it)

Grievous was operating on the bastardized values of his people kept together by rage & steel, stuck in Sith 1 & Sith 2’s fucked up mind games. He hated the Separatists. Unfortunately for the rest of the galaxy, he hated the Republic more. Maybe he oscillates wildly between the thrill of battle & befuddled emptiness, making him a contrary bitch that no one bothers trying to deal with.

But lord help Palpatine if General Grievous ever figured out that he & Sidious were one & the same. The sheer amount of indignant rage would be like a lens of clarity he hadn’t managed since becoming a cyborg. This?? Single human man? Broke apart the galaxy so he could be the one to fix it? The known universe will remember me only in cold blooded fear. I was stripped of my culture, my agency, my FLESH so that this LITTLE OLD COLONY WIZARD can sit in his big boy chair???

Mr. Psycho Martyr? His petty ass would tell everybody. He would make his superiors’ lives a living hell. If they didn’t immediately push the Cyborg Emergency Kill Button (canon), how do you stop this pissed off war machine that YOU made to be unstoppable & YOU taught how to use unstoppable laser swords? As far as the Separatist resources, he knows nearly EVERYTHING. You can’t send shit after him that he doesn’t already know how to take apart, rewire, counter, & give back to you with a rude note on it.

And goddamn, if you thought Kalee hated the Republic? Just wait until it becomes the Empire & stops even trying to hide being tyrannical (hehe tyrannous). Grievous spent his entire life fighting oppression much more advanced than him & fucking winning. That’s why his resume was at the top of Palpatine’s murder machine CV pile. This bitch excels at adaptive guerilla warfare & he will use every last wheezing breath to fuck up your shit. Even if he has to work with Jedi to do it.

In conclusion, an enlightened General Grievous would gladly die for a chance to punch Palpatine in the face & this is why he would be an immense asset to the rebel alliance. He’d be an insufferable asshole but that is the cost you pay for him having to be right all the time.

#general grievous #sw tcw #sw headcanons #accursed!grievous

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fierymiasma · 1 year

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💔 Tear You Apart 💔 || Sebastian Sallow x f!MC

Request: Are you still taking request? If you do, can i request angsty to fluff sebastian and f reader (optional) being off from each other after solomon died. He was rumored to be dating other students and both mc and seb try to make each other jealous.

A/N: Very brief Leander Prewett x f!MC for plot purposes only. Bullied Leander a bit but please do know that I do like him as a person.

Words: 3.7k

Tags: Angst into Fluff, Jealous!Sebastian, Possessive!Sebastian, some slight Leander x f!MC (For plot reasons), Making out, petty schoolboy behavior

|| Masterlist || AO3 ||

She paced back and forth on the wooden deck of the Summoner's court. Leander Prewett was ahead by at least 50 points, but the Hero of Hogwarts wasn't ready to give up her title of Champion of Summoner's Court just yet, especially not to people like Prewett. He was a right enough chap off the court, but when it came to this game, he was a pretty sore loser.

Sebastian wasn't here to cheer her on today. He wasn't a fan of the game, but in their 5th year, he managed to find the time to watch every single one of her games. She missed the cheering and the hollering of the confident Slytherin as she scored an impressive win. Even more, she would miss how her heart would skip a beat every time she would look back at the crowd and they accidentally locked eyes. His eyes would always crinkle in affection and on the rare summer days, the sun would hit his hair at a certain angle and give some strands of his hair a golden shine.

They've seen so little of each other since the start of their 6th year. Actually, she's so little of him since….since the events of the end of their 5th year. Life got in the way, they drifted apart. She chewed on her bottom lip as she finalized her finished move. Maybe she should find him after the game, check in on him and see how he was doing.

Of course, she had to win first. Figuring out her next move was much harder when a rather loud group of girls were gossiping in the watching crowds.

"Did you hear?" One particular Ravenclaw, well known for her love of gossip, whispered far too loudly, "Sacharissa Tugwood has a crush on Sebastian."

"Accio." She flicked her wand towards her, pulling in the blue ball gently around the obstacles.

She hated Sacharissa and her stupid make up and her vapid head, and her stupidly beautiful hair.

A high-pitched nasally voice floated above the rest of the crowd. "I heard that those two were already dating! Someone in Transfiguration saw them shopping together at Hogsmeade."

Fwwap! Her spell broke. Her ball snapped off from its trajectory and bounced dangerously off of a cone. It rebounded, shooting off and hitting a small 1st year directly in the face. Leander cheered, jumping on the balls of his feet and celebrating his first victory against the reigning champion.

She paid no heed to this. The cheers of the crowd were muffled against a piercing scream in her ears. Sebastian and Sacharissa? Dating?? They weren't even friends. Sacharissa barely even knew him. Where was she when he needed help finding a cure for Anne? Where was she when Sebastian needed a shoulder to lean on?

Every fiber of her being wanted to scream or maybe cry, she wasn't too sure. Well of course, Sebastian would want to move on as quickly as possible. It made sense really, erase everything they had together. Move onto someone who was an easy date and who's history was uncomplicated.

She refused to cry. She spilled enough tears for dear Professor Fig. Sebastian wasn't worth getting worked up for.

She wouldn't cry over a boy who didn't even return her feelings.

"Prewett." She snapped, her mind wrapping around a rather dangerous idea. "You and me, let's go to Three Broomsticks some time."

The taller boy's mouth dropped open, clearly not expecting this reaction to losing a game of Summoner's Court.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm asking you out on a date, Leander. Are you interested?"

The Gyffindor's thin eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline. His face turned nearly as red as his hair. Trying to suppress all of his insecurities, he titled his chin upwards. "Why…it's about time someone recognized my charm. I was waiting for you to say something about the two of us."

She gritted her teeth, already starting to regret her choice.

"Oi! Prewett!"

Leander could recognize that annoying voice even if he were deaf. The boy walked faster down the Transfiguration corridor, pretending to not hear Sebastian calling out to him. Maybe he shouldn't have gone on that date with Sebastian's best female friend. Leander's life was much easier whenever he wasn't dragged into Sallow's drama.

Sebastian's fast walk turned into a light jog. The loitering students quickly stepped to the side, not willing to stay in the way of the Slytherin's wrath. Prewett was not going to ignore him, not when Sebastian knew where the other boy slept at night. "Are you deaf? I'm talking to you Prewett!"

Several heads turned, and the hallway seemed to quiet in anticipation.

The poor boy sighed, stopping in his tracks. He turned to face Sebastian. There was no point in delaying the inevitable.

"Is it true that you're dating the hero of Hogwarts?" Sebastian asked haughtily, his shoulders tense and hands fisted at his side. "Reyes said she saw you two on a date last Saturday."

No one ever accused of Leander of being a coward. "And why does it matter to you, Sallow?"

"She's my best friend." Sebastian's eyes narrowed. He got much closer to the other boy. "I didn't even know she even gave you a second thought."

Prewett's hand slipped into his robe pocket where his wand was hidden. He didn't think Sebastian would be so low to stoop to an unsanctioned hallway duel, but you could never be too sure with a Slytherin. "What do you want Sallow? Here to duel me for the affections of your girl?"

Sebastian's face twisted into a sneer. "She's not my girl. She doesn't belong to anyone." He stated with as much conviction as he could muster despite the fact that he didn't believe in a single thing he was saying.

The Gryffindor clearly didn't believe him. "She chose me." He reminded the other boy. "Chose me over you, Sallow. You best remember and respect that."

He turned his back towards Sallow, done with this conversation. As he walked towards his next class, he could hear the other Slytherin swearing up a storm to anyone and everyone who could hear.

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"What does she even see in him? He has the face of a mandrake and the personality of a troll."

Ominis sighed. It was hard to read when Sebastian kept distracting him. He could hear how Sebastian was pacing back and forth in their shared Slytherin dorm. His heavy stomps interrupted his train of thought forcing Ominis to reread the same sentence over and over again.

"Ominis, what can I do that would make her come back to me?"

Ominis instantly knew who Sebastian was referring to without even having to mention her name. His best friends had the oddest relationship with each other. Ominis always had trouble placing if they were annoyed with each other or madly in love. Probably both. "Have you considered…talking to her? It's been a while since you guys were fifth years. Tell her how you really feel."

Sebastian snorted, telling a girl how he "really felt"? He would rather be hit in the head by a troll. Sebastian snapped his fingers. An idea suddenly striking like lightening. "Perfect, I'll give her a gentle reminder on what she's missing out on. Rumors are saying that Tugwood fancies me. One date with Sachrissa, and she'll come back to me."

Ominis wanted to smack his face. He covered his book with his face; the braille itched his skin. He gave up on reading entirely, trying to use the book as earmuffs to drown on Sebastian's insane rambling.

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Herbology was the one class that they couldn't avoid each other. Their potting stations were side by side ever since she first came to Hogwarts. They worked in tense silence, an easy job when their fresh Screechsnaps screamed so loud that it would drown out any conversation. Herbology used to be one of his favorite classes in their 5th year. Sebastian didn't care for the subject, but it was one of her favorites. Surrounded by the beautiful flowers and fresh leaves of the greenhouse, she would look absolutely stunning. Sebastian often spent the whole class, mindlessly listening along to Professor Garlick's lecture while staring at her, the "most beautiful rose". Her face was always smeared with some dirt, and she would always laugh carelessly whenever Sebastian got a wet cloth to clean her face.

Of course, she hadn't been smiling of much late. He spied on her out of the corner of his eye. Her hair was down today, obscuring her face from his view.

What in Merlin's name was she thinking? Allowing someone like Prewett to court her. What did she even see in him? His bumbling insecure fragile masculinity? What did Leander have that Sebastian lacked? He was never there for her. Sebastian was the one that stayed at her side when she uncovered the Keepers' secrets. Sebastian was the one who accompany her on silly little quests.

It was Sebastian's shoulder she cried on when Professor Fig had passed.

Or maybe, he was more bothered by the fact she hadn't even bothered to tell him. If she truly did fancy Leander, why not tell Sebastian? Confide in her coolest friend? They used to tell each other everything: their deepest secrets, their confessed emotions…

Sebastian jaw clenched as he accidentally decapitated the head of his Screechsnap. The poor plant shrieked in agony.

"There you are, darling."

Both Sebastian and her turned around. Leander was standing there, a bouquet of flowers in hand. Sebastian grit his teeth. He could feel a headache starting to form.

Sebastian's eyes followed even the slightest of movements. He saw how her expression soften, saw how she accepted the flowers, inhaling their scent deeply. He watched them as they huddled together, whispering over something.

He inhaled sharply, trying to stop himself from going absolutely bonkers.

"It is always nice to see young roses freshly blooming in my garden." Professor Garlick's voice interrupted their frantic whispering. "It is even nicer when our fresh blossoms focus on their work."

Prewitt grumbled in protest. Ever the chivalrous courter, he planted a kiss on her hand, biding her goodbye before drifting back to his herbology station.

They returned to their work, pruning the Screechsnaps. Sebastian's breath was so hot, he could have been mistaken for a dragon. "So…you and Prewitt."

She sniffed, sticking her nose in the air, just waiting for another one of Sebastian's sarcastic, rude comments. "Yes, me and Prewitt."

To her surprise Sebastian said nothing. He was staring at his plant, as if it was the most interesting thing in the greenhouse right now. There was a moment of tense silence, only interrupted by the sharp snipping of pruning shears.

Sebastian couldn't take it anymore. He was going to explode if he didn't say anything. "So…what's the best part of dating Prewitt? Sebastian asked conversationally. "His lack of brains or his lack of looks?"

Ohhhh, she was going to chop Sebastian's head off with her shears. "Sallow, that is incredibly rude to say about him!" She slammed her gardening tools on the table hard. It would be poor form to commit murder in front of the very sweet Professor Garlick. "Leander is a great guy…he's….um…He's very…brave."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. Was that really the best she could come up with? Gryffindors are brave. Slytherins are cunning. What's next? A smart Ravenclaw?

She folded his arms. "What's your problem with Leander? He's a proper gentleman, unlike some. I could trust his eyes would never stray too far."

Sebastian's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. What an accusation. "I have no problem with Leander. He's a nice enough bloke."

She snorted, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"My issue is with you. You don't even like him."

She stilled before turning to him. His face was turned away from hers, pretending like he hadn't hacked his poor plant into a million pieces.

"I do like him." She insisted, her bottom eyelid twitching. "What makes you think otherwise?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes again. "I see how you look at him. He sees how you look at him."

It's nothing like how you look at me. How her eyes would soften. How her body would twist towards Sebastian whenever he entered the room. How she teased Sebastian mercilessly as Sebastian flirted unabashedly with the Hero of Hogwarts.

She snorted uncharitably. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Sallow."

He huffed, hands on his hips as he stared at his dreadful hack job on his sapling. "You could do far better than Prewett. That's all I'm saying."

She growled. "Oh, and, who could I possibly be with who could be better?" She baited.

Me. You could be with me.

His usual smooth lines and calculated wording fell completely by the wayside. "You could at least date someone who's at least semi-desirable." Sebastian's tongue felt heavy and crude. "Not even Leander's own mother likes him. Girls cannot get enough of me."

Her knuckled whited as held onto her shears too tightly. She hated the reminder of how popular Sebastian was. It only just showed how not special she was to him. Before she could process her own words, she spat "And why would anyone want to date a rake like you?"

Sebastian dropped his gardening equipment, whipping around to finally look at her in the eye. Brown eyes met hers. They each could see the hurt and pain in each other's soul, yet neither was willing to back down. His heart was tearing apart.

"And who would want to be with someone at heartless as you?"

That was it. She couldn't take it anymore. With a wave of her wand, she levitated the largest pile of Dragon Dung fertilizer she could find in the greenhouse. It hovered ominously, just at the perfect height to hit Sebastian square in the face.

Sebastian's expression morphed from contempt to genuine horror. He fumbled for his pockets, no doubt trying to find his wand to cast Protego. She smirked. She always was the better dueler.

"Wingardium Leviosa"

"Depulso!"

At the same time she uttered her spell, she found herself flung backwards a good five feet. She landed in something very soft and squishy….a very …smelly. She lifted the sleeve of her robe and almost gagged. Great, that twat managed to push her into some Dragon's Dung. She snapped her head up searching for Sebastian.

Much to her satisfaction, he was absolutely covered in fertilizer.

"Aaaaanddd, that's detention…for the both of you." Professor Garlick's voice hovered over her shoulder, very much not amused. "I expect to see the two of you in Greenhouse 5 right this weekend after dinner."

Sebastian swore, trying to shake the dragon dung fertilizer out of hair like some dog.

The professor's nose wrinkled in disgust. "And please do freshen up before then."

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Much to the displeasure of both of them, they were forced to work together for their detention. They picked the Sopophorous plants, unshelling the pods and setting aside its beans. The pair worked in tandem with only the stray glowbugs outside the glass window panes illuminating their work. They discarded the beans in a clay bowl in the middle of them. Every time her hand accidentally brushed against hers, a shiver would shoot up his arm.

"Are the rumors true? Have you and Sachrissa gotten together?"

Childishly, Sebastian ignored her, breaking apart the pod in his hand with more force than strictly necessary.

She scowled, not liking to be ignored. "I mean, all of 6th year, you jump from girl to girl to girl….What exactly are you looking for, Sebastian?"

You…I've been looking for you. This whole time. It's always been you.

He said nothing. What was there to say?

She ground her back molar in frustration. Was this it? The end of their friendship? Doomed to just drift apart. Her vision swam as she fought back tears.

Sebastian's shoulder fell. Even without looking at her, he could tell exactly what she was feeling.

"I…I thought I meant something to you." his voice was so quiet, she almost missed him speaking.

She stilled, begging for him to continue.

He couldn't bring himself to look up from his work. Choosing instead to speak to the stupid Sopophorous beans. "Our 5th year…when we first met back in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Merlin, you were extraordinary. You were the star of Hogwarts, so bloody brilliant. Everyone loved you."

Who wouldn't?

The back of Sebastian's eyes felt so hot. He blinked rapidly, his vision getting a bit blurrier. "But you chose me. Out of everyone, Natty, Poppy, even Ominis. You asked for me to help you find those stupid gobstones. To ride on a Hippogriff with you. To clear those disgusting vile spider caves."

"I thought…we…I don't know what the fuck I thought." He finished bitterly, some emotions too painful to say out loud.

"After….my uncle…the relic and…Ranrok. You just…vanished." Droplets of water started spilling onto the back of his hands. Oh Merlin, here he was crying, like a little pathetic girl. "It was like…now that you knew the real me…you…you didn't care for it."

It was hard not to feel cast aside after the new student became "The Hero of Hogwarts" and she was constantly swarmed by an adoring crowd of eager followers. She avoided him like the plague until the summer hit and she was whisked away for their break. No owl posts, no letters. Sebastian returned to an empty home and a cold twin, now and truly alone for the first time in his life.

It stun. The abandonment.

He tried to wipe his ears discretely with the edge of his robe sleeves.

She was stunned. Taking off her dragon scale gloves, she approached the boy in front of her, daring to get closer.

"Sebastian…I….I hadn't had the faintest idea." She wanted so badly to touch him but found herself too scared to do so. "If I had known how you felt…"

She remembered the end of their 5th year. A beautiful service to the closest thing she had to a father figure. She couldn't help but notice how everyone was staring at her, knowing that she was the only one to be with him as he drew his last breath. She could feel the thousands of eyeballs staring deep into her watching every twitch and facial expression. Her lips bled so badly from how hard to bit them to prevent herself from crying in public. She remembered after Professor Weasley had finished the eulogy how everyone and their friend felt the need to swarm her, to personally thank the hero of Hogwarts.

She had never felt so surrounded and yet so alone. The loneliness followed her as she drifted through her summer break and well into her 6th year when the growing distance between her and Sebastian forced them apart.

She bit her lip. "A-after Ranrok…after F-f…Professor Fig died. I didn't know what to do anymore. H-he's…he's all I had left. I needed time for myself, Sebastian. I hadn't meant to…I never meant to abandon you."

Sebastian clenched his fists, "After Ominis and Anne distanced themselves from me…you were all that I had left, and you still chose to abandon me."

Gently, she reached for his hands. They opened up slowly for her. She threaded their fingers together. He was looking away from her, refusing to meet her eyes.

With one hand, she reached up. Her fingers brushed against his soft cheeks, guiding his face to finally look at her.

His brown eyes were wet, staring at her with naked adoration.

"I'm sorry, Sebastian." She whispered. "I'm here with you, right now. I'll always be here for you."

He barked out a strained laugh. "What about Leander? Aren't you still with him?"

She laughed, a private joke only she could understand. "Leander dumped me the second that Herbology class was over on Tuesday. He said it was obvious I was still very much in love with you."

Huh…maybe Leander wasn't such a bad bloke after all.

Wait. Sebastian's eyes blinked rapidly, finally fully processing her words. "So, you do admit, you do love me."

She blushed, crossing her arms in front of her chest and refusing to look at him in the eye. "I…I wasn't the one to say it!"

He hummed in delight. He pulled her closely to her. Her chest flush against his. Her sudden blush framed her cheeks so prettily.

"I never stopped thinking of you." Sebastian breathed. "Every day, every time I see you next to me in Herbology, my mind goes crazy. You drive me absolutely barmy."

"You're everything to me." Sebastian breathed.

Words escaped her, and she felt exceptionally stupid. Before she could ask Sebastian for a kiss, warm lips met hers. He was bold. His hands traveling to her jaw pulling her impossibly closer to him. Her hands shot upwards, tangling their fingers in his soft curls. Sebastian dipped his tongue past her slack lips. She shoved back, devoid of skill but so desperate for him. He tasted of fire, of sweet tarts, of Sopophorous beans.

He tasted like Sebastian.

She surged forward, revealing in the way Sebastian met her passion with full force. Her tongue met his, fighting for dominance. Her teeth nibbled at his bottom lip. Her sharp canines pierced his soft flesh. He moaned, enjoying the twinge of pain.

Sebastian pulled back, trying to catch his breath. His hair, normally a tamed well-controlled storm of curls was in complete disarray. Sebastian's brown pupils blown so wide they looked entirely black. His plump soft lips, normally so perfect, were bleeding and bruised from her sharp teeth and rough kissing.

"Oops." She drawled in a dry tone. Sebastian looked so pretty with his soft lips marked up. Looked so gorgeous when he belonged with her.

Sebastian's eyes darkened. "Oh, you'll pay dearly for that."

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x reader #hphl #harry potter #sebastian sallow fic #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian sallow x mc #fierymiasmawork

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peachsayshi · 10 months

Text

bruised petal

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄ nai x female reader ⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

wc: 3,000+

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ minors / ageless blogs / blank blogs - do not interact.

notes: this is a short story - I have plans for a part 2 from the reader’s pov. not sure if I will write anything beyond that as of now xo

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tags: royal au; angsty; nai’s feelings get hurt :c; inexperienced nai; pining; mentions of vashwood; mentions of arranged marriages; mentions of infidelity; sacrilege (?);

Nai felt the ground beneath his feet disappear. The voices surrounding him turn into static while the vibrant gowns and suited garments blend together with a swipe of a single brushstroke. Suddenly he can’t see the picture clearly, and his blue eyes sting as he widens them with unpleasant surprise.

Did you really just say that? he thinks with a furrow of his brows.

Did you really just say that…that you hate him?

You?

His entire body pulses as he stumbles over his long stride, pushing past the crowd of dignitaries to make his way outside. There is no room for manners, no reason to murmur an “excuse me” with the way his heart is racing, with the way his mind is spinning in pirouettes like the dancers around him. The ballroom suddenly feels claustrophobic, and he needs to get some fresh hair after your words knocked the wind out of him.

Each step towards the garden is a reminder of why he disliked this castle, of the despise he feels towards the opulence of it all. The gaudy interior is a representation of the vast wealth and history that his family inherited once they overthrew the old kingdom, and symbolized the sacrifices that were made to keep the power.

He escapes into the gardens, the scent of blooming moonflowers greeting him upon arrival but the fragrance only exacerbates his faint mind. He settles onto the marble bench hidden between the bushes before releasing a long, drawn out exhale that he didn’t even realize he was holding in.

Nai’s throat tightens - of course, your words came with a��reason…it’s just after everything, he didn’t expect to hear them from you.

Nai and his brother were the brains behind the kingdom’s thriving agricultural trade, but controlling the abundance of the land was only possible because of him. Both brothers held equal accomplishments that garnered them a level of respect that went beyond their royal titles, but it still wasn’t enough to win over the people’s hearts because of the blood on Nai’s hands.

Without his action his family and people would have suffered under the hands of brutal terror, and with that Nai had no regrets.

When he fought fire with fire, everyone was suddenly petrified of the beast who was crowned the winner.

He knew that most people didn’t take well to his personality or his beliefs. His distrust towards others was purely a fault of his own but one he couldn’t easily shake. The old kingdom had planted a seed of hatred that sprouted into an undying tree within him. Unlike his brother, Nai held onto his grudges which allowed them to fuel his motivation for control. His “odd” behavior led to petty gossip of why he’s remained a king with no wife or heir, but his reputation of being the “radical twin” preceeded everything else. His subjects thought he was cruel and cold, comparing him to a chilly tundra unlike his twin who is regarded as the warmth of summer.

Vash’s smile can radiate an entire room, while Nai’s eclipses the light.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown, and Nai knew that Vash would never be capable of carrying these burdens while keeping a pragmatic mind. His kindhearted nature would always get the better of him, and Nai was fully aware that the power that he holds can only exist with malice by his side.

However, Vash still remains his most trusted confidant despite living his life at his own free will. He maintains the peace between the kingdoms, since many of the leaders refuse to deal with the “stubborn and sadistic” king himself. Vash’s personality earned him many friends and plenty of connections, and somewhere through the grapevines, you came into the picture.

Nai was suspicious of you at first. He couldn’t understand why you were hanging around his brother like a moth to a flame. Using his spies to pry into your motives, Nai soon learned that your family had expectations on you marrying the duke. This fact only made his wariness over you grow, because even though he couldn’t stand most people around him, Nai did cherish his own brother with unconditional love.

Marrying into their family would garner you power, status and most importantly, influence.

“Does she even know about the priest?” he blantantly asked Vash over dinner one night.

Vash’s cheeks turned pink, and he awkwardly laughed before scratching the back of his head nervously. “You mean Nicholas?”

Nai rolled his eyes, “You know that’s who I’m talking about...”

“O-Of course she does! I had her visit the church just the other day. She wanted to sit through one of his sermons...”

Nai picked up the glass of wine before puffing out an exhale. His brother always maintained a level of innocence by playing stupid, but Nai knew his secret. His little trysts with the priest have been brought to his attention many times before, but the king quickly dismissed the blabbering rats that were festering around the castle for the sake of his brother’s honor.

He pieced together why Vash was entertaining this silly courtship right then and there - a marriage would be the perfect solution to squash any rumors about him and the priest.

“You’ll need my blessing for this to carry on further...”

Vash’s smile fell, “I hope you’ll give it to me...”

Nai placed the glass down on the table, flicking his gaze upward to look directly into the eyes of his twin.

“If that’s what you want” he conceded, knowing full well that Vash has forgiven him for far worse.

After that day, your visits were extended which led to you residing in the castle for an extended period of time in the last year. Nai may have given his brother the blessing he needed to carry on this facade, but he chose to keep his distance from the messy entanglement altogether. A part of him didn’t want to admit that he was the slightest bit jealous of his twin who had all the means to swing a beautiful woman like yourself even under the disguise of a lie, whereas Nai easily turned heads in the other direction.

None of these things should have even mattered, until one fateful night when he caught you by yourself in his private garden.

You were standing there admiring the night flowers in bloom, delicately arching forward to breathe in the scent emanating from purple and violet petals. The king is familiar with beauty - he’s seen plenty of attractive faces within his court and at royal balls - but there was something about the moon’s bright light radiating around you like a halo that rendered him speechless. You weren’t just another pretty face, you were a stunning creature straight out of the myths that he loved to read, a living goddess who made his heart skip over itself effortlessly.

When you raised up from sniffing another flower is when you finally caught his gaze, and Nai quickly buried his feelings as he furrowed the front of his blonde brows with annoyance.

“What are you doing here?” he snapped through gritted teeth, digging his fingers into his palm and noticing only then that you were clutching a journal tightly against your chest.

“Your majesty,” you replied calmly with a courtsey, a slight shake in your voice the only indication of your nervous tone. “My apologies, I...I simply wanted to see your garden. Vash...uhm-..I mean, the duke, told me it is one of the marvels of your kingdom...”

Nai hated the way his cheeks warmed at your saccharine voice. He could feel the tips of his ears turning a deep crimson, but he wasn’t going to drop his defenses over empty compliments.

With his head held high he strode towards you, gazing down at you with sharp, condescending eyes and a disapproving frown. He heard you draw a tiny inhale as he stopped just an inch away, almost as if he was trying to intimidate you into running off scared like a frightened rabbit.

“I-I’ve never seen an angel lotus before,” you stammered out your excuse, and glanced toward the bed of light blue flowers beside you. You proceeded to pull the journal away from your chest, your shaky fingers flicking through the pages until you found just the one you were looking for. “I’ve heard they are quite rare to source and are extremely temperamental to care for...”

Nai arched his brow as you showed him the inside of your notebook. At first he wanted to scoff and knock it out of your hands, but the minute he caught sight of your handwriting, he found himself pausing.

His slender, long digits reached for leather, and he clasped your journal in his hands as he scanned over the pages.

There were detailed notes of various flora, fauna, plants and herbs. You had drawings of each of them, dissecting parts of their anatomy and making little notes where you cross referenced the species. He skimmed through the pages, brushing over the messy lines and various points in between - a collection of facts and thoughts that you accumulated through time.

“Forgive me for overstepping, your majesty, I-I didn’t mean to snoop-”

“Angel lotus’ aren’t temperamental, they are sensitive..” he interjected as he continued sifting through your notes, all the while swallowing the flutter of excitement he was feeling at this very moment. “..according to legend, the seeds were gifted by ancient gods who wanted to bring a piece of heaven to humans, they were never meant to exist in our world which is why it’s so hard for them to thrive in our environment...”

“Is that so?”

Nai shut the journal close, returning to meet your curious eyes as he handed the book back. “Their petals bruise easily, they wilt with the slightest change in the weather, they refuse to sprout if the soil isn’t right...but with enough patience they learn to adapt, to adjust, to grow...they don’t require attention, they demand it”

You smiled at his little tale with intrigue, and the man’s chest grew uncomfortably tight.

“Where did you learn all this, your majesty?”

He reached his finger over to a single flower, brushing the pad of his digit just underneath the petal and you swore in that moment you watched it nuzzle lovingly against him.

“My mother taught me...”

That conversation was the start of it all.

Night after night, Nai would search for you in his garden. At first he would pretend to be surprised to find you there until eventually he became comfortable meeting you casually. The two of you would spend hours talking about your love for the natural world. Nai answered your questions about the variety of rare plants he grew in garden, and in return you offered tips from your own bank of knowledge that you aquired over time.

Eventually those conversations delved into deeper, more personal things. Botanical topics were replaced with childhood stories and hard truths, deep thoughts and sighing dreams. You were cautiously prying him open, and he found himself revealing all the skeletons in his closet.

“Why aren’t you afraid of me?” he asked on your last night before heading home, while the both of you were standing outside his glass greenhouse.

You leaned back against the pillar of the gazebo placed just at the front, tucking your bottom lip between your teeth to stop yourself from smirking - a nervous trait that the king had grown entirely too fond of.

“Should there be a reason to fear you, your majesty?”

“I have enough blood on my hands to fill an entire river,” he stated quite matter of factly, his cold eyes diminishing the blooming warmth in yours.

He watched your face fall, making him huff with acknowledgement until you caught him by surprise when you boldly reached for his hand.

“As does every other ruler,” you replied honestly.

“None were as violent…”

“The tyrant who ruled this kingdom reaped the benefits of it’s resources while allowing his people to suffer under poverty and enslavement. Now, it’s thriving once more…”

He was taken aback by your insistence...by your desire to find honor in his actions.

Nobody else in the world saw him this way.

All they saw was the homicidal maniac who slaughtered anyone who opposed him.

He snatched his hand away from underneath your palm in agitation, growing increasingly more frustrated that you were making it difficult for him to ignore his infatuation over you.

At least if you hated him things would far, far simpler.

Nai used his hand to hook around the back of your neck. “Maybe you should be afraid. I can easily take advantage of you at anytime,” he loosely threatened, feigning his intimidation as his heart drummed between his ribs. “ruin you for any other man, soil your reputation...”

Your throat bobbed when you swallowed a gulp of air, but the interaction only resulted in you tilting your head up and brushing your lips over his own as you held your ground.

“Then ruin me”

Whatever power he thought he possessed over you dissipated in that instance. Nai loosened his grip and exchanged it for a delicate caress as he slowly stroked his thumb along the column of your neck. He hesitated for only a moment, before pressing his lips onto yours and planting a chaste kiss. He lingered for a few seconds until a shiver crawled up his back, and forced him away.

He was highly aware of his own self conscious, and wondered if you could taste his inexperience. Dropping his hand by his side, Nai lowered his shameful eyes as he tried to compose his behavior.

A gentle touch forced his chin upward, and you expanded your fingers across his jawline to return him back to his previous position.

“May I, your majesty?” you asked feverishly.

“Don’t…” he adamantly rejected.

“Please, Nai?”

Hearing his name purr out of you in a dreamy, dulcet tone had him weak in the knees. He should put you back in your place and remind you of who you were speaking to, but instead the man simply nodded his head.

You tapped your forehead against his and kissed the corner of his mouth.

“I’ll guide you,” you whispered, like it was a secret that you were swearing to keep.

Usually he would fight and argue over the indecency of it all, but this was a special case. He soaked every little peck you delivered before parting his mouth and allowing the sweetness of your tongue to slide along his.

He explored you with boyish wonderment, languidly finding his own rhythm to your tender movements. You leaned back and allowed the pillar to brace you as your arms circled around his neck to pull him closer. His hands fell to your waist, gripping the fabric as his thumb rubbed over the material to feel the boning of your corset underneath. The touch starved king suddenly realized his own hunger when he devoured you, with the kiss growing increasingly more desperate the longer he savored you.

When he pulled away to catch his breath, his eyes filtered with lust as they fell to your heaving breasts and swollen lips slick with spit. His digits dug into your waist, a desire to knead your soft skin at the forefront of his mind. He arched down once more to nibble on your bottom lip, before creating a short trail where he left a few light kisses on your jaw and one on the exposed part of your neck. He nipped and sucked on the tender flesh, feeling your hand grip the threads of his golden hair as you hissed with pleasure.

When he pulled away he smoothed his thumb over the area where he marked you, dragging his finger back and forth across the imprint with satisfaction.

Blue eyes caught yours in a heated stare, but no other words were spoken. He carefully retracted himself from your body, only leaving his hand intertwined in yours as he carefully led you back to the palace before separating himself when you both were within visual sight.

He went to bed that night with chills and an ache tearing him up from the inside. The strain in his pants was unbearable, and for the first time in years the man stroked himself to a desperate release.

The king only realized the severity of his actions when he saw his brother the next morning. Vash was seeing you off, and the two of you were in the middle of a conversation while absentmindedly staring at the footmen who were loading all your things onto the carriage.

“What a nasty little bug bite, you have...” he overheard Vash state with indifference.

“Y-Yes, it’s quite strange,” you replied coyly, covering the bruise with your gloved fingertips. “I really should be more careful spending all my time outdoors...”

Nai couldn’t resist but smile quietly to himself, approaching the two of you with confidence as he watched his brother study the mark that he left. He cleared his throat to make his presence known, prompting both you and Vash to face his direction.

“Your majesty,” you curtseyed instantly, the tiny sparkle in your eye sending his heart racing.

“You’re here!” Vash greeted politely, “What a surprise! I didn’t think you would show up...”

Nai remained poised, but his gaze never left yours. “She’ll be apart of this family soon,” he announced casually, “plus, I found this out in the garden and I figured you might want it...”

From behind his back he revealed your leather-bound journal that he sneakily managed to swipe from your room thanks to a couple of servants.

“My notebook! I was looking for this all morning!” you remarked with relief, forgetting yourself and your manners for a moment.

Vash chuckled as he reached for the book from his brother’s hand and passed it along to you. Only then did he notice that longing gaze that lingered, and he flashed his brother a puzzled expression as he shifted his eyes back and forth between you both.

Nai gave you a slight bow as a dismissal, “very well then, I guess we’ll see you in three weeks time”

“Yes,” you replied breathlessly while trying your best not to allow the awkwardness to linger.

“We’ll be announcing the engagement at the ball,” Vash pointed out, cutting the tension with a sharp pair of scissors with words that coiled around the king’s heart. “Now that we have both our families blessing”

“Indeed,” Nai bitterly acknowledged.

The man releases another long exhale, his eyes fixateing on the crescent moon and bursting stars above. The silence was stirring up every precious encounter, but all Nai could think about is how your voice didn’t sound like one that belonged to you when you adamantly claimed that you hated him.

All this time, he assumed that maybe there was something more, that for the first time somebody saw the man buried underneath the weight of the crown. He sifts through he memories in search for something that he might have missed. An unknown signal of betrayal or a wicked glint in your eye masked behind your kindness that would indicate some level of deceit.

He grimaces at the thought, the strain inside his chest prompting him to bury his hands deep into the heel of his palms.

He can’t help but wonder if you read the letter that he tucked into your journal on that fateful morning before your departure, all the while thinking if he is truly so despicable that even at his most sincere, he isn’t worthy of any kind of love.

#nai x female reader #nai x reader #millions knives x reader #trigun fanfiction #millions knives #trigun fluff #trigun angst #millions knives au #trigun stampede fics #trigun stampede

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warrior-cats-rewritten · 10 days

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You punish Bramblestar just enough. Enough to make up for all the times canon and its authors kissed his ass, putting an abusive tyrant on a pedestal over all other characters. It’s both satisfying, compelling, and kinda funny; a fitting end for someone so blatantly yet subtly abusive and corrupt, but somehow also petty and childish in a way no other character is. My favourite staple of Warriors rewrites to show how far their stance is from canon is giving Bramble actual, at times genuinely REALISTIC consequences for his actions. It’s a deserved spit in the face to the idea of hyping up some toxic fragile asshole as a noble hero, like the cognitive dissonance that persists in the books and the authors seem to genuinely believe. Did I mention the lightning is SO funny, it’s like a fire scene in terms of iconicness to me. Deserved. Bramble stans stay loosing, y’all can’t even form an argument.

In terms of the Holy Firestar Lightning Attack, I wanted something quick, "divine looking", and just strange enough that it crossed the border of possible magic. Something I feel fits into Warriors.

I'll never "over punish" a character. Thistleclaw gets a fitting end, ripped open like a bag of doritos by Snowfur, realizing his ideals have actually pushed her away, and that after all this time, Snowfur changed. He dies in complete shock and betrayal.

Tom The Wifebeater gets eaten by One Eye, mind you it was in front of poor Sparrow Fur, but afterwards One Eye uses his dark Sun God magic and consumes Tom's soul as well.

Clear Sky is pancaked on the side of the road by two Twolegs, his body left in the small ditch (respectfully, as they are humans who felt terrible for hitting a kitty and had no way of burying him) before they look out over what is going to be Skyclan's land, realizing how nice it would be to expand Chelford into that area.... Thus setting in motion the events of Skyfall. His spirit is used by Bright Storm to BECOME the Dark Forest barrier.

Gray Wing dies alone and bitter when he pushes away all forms of help, becoming a hateful spirit that perpetuates a curse that's timer has finally hit 0 on, resulting in the death/displacement of all 5 Clan leaders, starting with Riverclan. He also manifests himself through the unlucky offspring of 2 cursed bloodlines (Tigerkin and Applekin) Curlfeather. I'm not giving away his defeat yet though!

For Brambleclaw, I wanted that classic Warrior cats feel, and I think getting smote by holy lightning similar to Mudclaw fits that.

A lightning bolt during plain daylight is already considered a freak event like that has only ever happened once before in Clan history, to the magic user Ṣ̶̫̅n̴̹̯̾̒o̸̜͛ẁ̷͍t̵̰̎ủ̴̲͝f̷̙̳̆t̸̼͐ who got magic BANNED because he used it to ruin Sunningrocks and put generations of bloody wars and pointless fighting in place.

The only cat I've ever gone "too far" with is in an in-universe example of a cat who was punished for her mother's crimes, as her mother had murdered an apprentice. When her apprentice went missing later, she was blamed, and exiled. She also didn't go to Starclan, or the Dark Forest, but rather, somewhere much, much more dangerous.

#warrior cats #warriors #warrior cats rewrite #wcr #asks #bramble stuff #avoiding his full name for obvious reasons #along with g r a y w i n g because his fans are also extremely defensive over their fictional shitty male character

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insufferableprotagonistpoll · 4 months

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Propaganda why Light Yagami is insufferable:

Had a great chance to actually solve the problems of the world but he decided to go after petty criminals instead of actual bad guys shaking my head. He thought he was so smart but got caught being suspected to be Kira before he even had his next birthday. How do you fuck up that badly? It’s a book you write peoples names in…Nice move, FedEx

Also his personality is awful

HE DIDNT DESERVE TO PULL A GOTH GIRL

Idk if he counts because he's SUPPOSED to be insufferable. But I don't care because I want to punch him in the face anyway. Oh and before the Light stans come at me let me say: thanks but I don't want your 5 paragraphs explaining why he's so complex and was corrupted and rationalized murder as a defense mechanism to avoid confronting the possibility that he might have done something that would make him irredeemable and evil and how in the manga he lost weight due to the psychological strain because I know. I think he's fascinating too but good God. He's so annoying.

he's like if a cop was a bitchy teenager about it

Propaganda why Anakin Skywalker is insufferable:

the guy has zero critical thinking skills, he whines about everything all the time. I love him, but he’s awful to listen to.

Yes he was probably directed to act that way but the way his lines were written did not help

THIS BITCH. I HATE HIM. NO CRITICAL THINKING. NO SELF AWARENESS. WHINY MURDEROUS ASSHOLE. LIKE SERIOUSLY. He's a JEDI. LIKE. THEY HAVE HISTORY CLASSES!!!! He should have KNOWNNNNNN that when he had prophetic dreams they're not necessarily true!!!!! Also like. In the Star Wars universe, do Jedi just not have imaginations that can create NORMAL dreams when they sleep??? Do Jedi just not usually dream??? If he hadn't gotten paranoid from the dreams of Padme dying in childbirth BILLIONS OF LIVES WOULD HAVE BEEN SAVED. FOR THAT MATTER, if you're gonna have A SUPER ILLEGAL SUPER SECRET MARRIAGE, wouldn't you, I don't know, USE PROTECTION SO THAT YOUR WIFE WHO IS SECRETLY AND ILLEGALLY MARRIED DOESN'T GET PREGANANANT????? LIKE LOOK I LOVE LUKE AND LEIA MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF BUT THEIR PARENTS WERE SO FUCKING STUPID. ANAKIN SKYWALKER HATES CONDOMS BECAUSE THEY DONT FEEL AS GOOD I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. Man is an IDIOT. How can you have had a role model and father figure like Obi-Wan for most of your fucking life and grow up to do the shitty, STUPID things Anakin did. Ok this is way too long I'm sorry but I love Obi-Wan so much and Anakin ruined his fucking life and hes just such a little DICK. MURDERED A WHOLE VILLAGE OF SAND PEOPLE. AND DOZENS IF NOT HUNDREDS OF CHILDRENNNNNNNN. ANGSTY WHINY TEENAGER. FUCK HIMMMMMMM

#light yagami #death note #anakin skywalker #star wars #insufferable protagonist poll #insufferable protagonist tournament #tournament poll

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katapotato55 · 1 year

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Deltarune theory: Kris, Noelle, and Ralsei (Kris may not hate Ralsei THAT much) and other misc theories.

obviously spoilers for Deltarune up to chapter 2 and some of the Spamton sweepstakes. play the game it's free on steam. also this is a little bit long and contains a lot of screenshots. Not a huge amount of text walls I am just crazy. more info after the cut.

(credit to the deltarune wiki for these screenshots) So a common theory is that the health gained from the tea represents how close emotionally characters are to each other. If a character does not know someone else, the tea appears as nothing, such as Noelle having no reaction to the Ralsei tea, since at that point in the game they never met. People often use this as an implication that Kris does not like ralsei very much. but here is the thing that gets me:

Kris seems to get damn near the same amount of HP from Noelle as they do Ralsei. and that is confusing... because aren't they supposed to be childhood friends? meanwhile Susie used to bully Kris as implied by the Spamton sweepstakes... and yet Susie's tea gives Kris the MOST health out of all of them. not to mention Noelle seems to share the same amount of health return, but doesn't hate the tea either. What on earth is going on here?

The Theory (s?)

The unfun theory: The health means absolutely nothing. Personally I don't like this theory if you couldn't tell already. The spicy friendship theory: Kris doesn't hate Ralsei THAT MUCH, they are just uneasy about them. Alternatively: Kris probably just gets along better with someone like Susie than someone like Ralsei. The climax in every children's movie ever theory: before the events of Deltarune, something happened that made Kris upset at Noelle and it harmed their relationship. (possibly something to do with Des) The BFFSBSROFL (no that acronym does not stand for anything) theory : kris actually gels SO well with susie that they are basically best friends, making Noelle and Ralsei look pathetic in comparison. Alternatively, Kris and Susie have a much deeper history that the Spamton Sweepstakes left out. Alternatively: it could also be that Susie is the first strong friendship Kris has had in a very long time and they are in the honeymoon phase of their friendship. The shippers wet dream theory: Kris has a thing for Susie after the events of ch 1 and is jealous of Noelle. (I claim no financial responsibility for whatever the fuck the shipping part of the fandom may do with this potential bit of information.) The "my parent's friend's kids" theory: Kris never really was that close to Noelle to begin with, Its just that the Dreemur family and the Holiday family go way back and Kris being a kid was just in the middle of it. These are the theories I have so far, let me know if you guys have anything more interesting.

Other things to mention

The Laser prank. During that scene with Noelle with chapter 2, the player finds a switch that requires the player and Noelle to press a button and let each other through the laser barrier. as a player you can suddenly jump off the button before noelle passes as a joke. however, if you go too far and do it right when Noelle is too close to the laser:

you almost hurt Noelle (but she is ok) and then she pulls the same prank on Kris. then:

If you don't go too far with the prank, Noelle simply says "nice teamwork" and you continue on. This is interesting to me for many reasons. here is a few theories I have listed: 1-Kris actually was hurt (unlikely because their HP was not lowered and the player did not touch the laser) 2- Kris actually DOES care about Noelle and is horrified the player almost hurt her 2.5- Or perhaps Kris does care about Noelle and is horrified she did the prank back at them as serious as the laser was. Perhaps Kris has weird feelings about abandonment and self love considering their parents divorce and all that has been going on in this game 3- Kris is just being petty and immature that they got pranked right back. 4- Kris is potentially mis-reading the situation thinking that the player and Noelle are somehow against Kris, when in reality both the player and Noelle are just playing around. Remember that Kris is a young teenager going through a rough patch at home, so it makes sense they are on edge about this kind of thing. 5- I am reading way too deep into this bit.

The Boat Picture with Ralsei listen man. Its no secret Ralsei resembles Asriel. hell there is a STRONG implication that Ralsei is actually Kris's childhood red horns headband considering Ralsei also has red horns.

here is the bit that gets to me sometimes: Later on in Ch 2, you are on a boat ride with ralsei and a photo booth. you have the option to Hug Ralsei, show a peace sign in the wrong direction, or commit cultural appropriation against Berdly in particular (my favorite option yes i am very mature)

why does this sit with me? well-

First: daawwww asgoooooreeee second: what does this mean- there are so many implications, Again i am just going to list theories and speculation: 1- Kris does not appreciate the gremlin that looks suspiciously like their older brother and how said gremlin may be crushing on them, along with the player pushing that along. enough said. 2- Kris is OK with hugs, they just don't like it when their dad gives them a massive cuddly bear hug. 3- kris is being an angsty teen acting like they are too good for hugs. 4- Again I am probably overthinking it and Kris actually does not hate hugs (or hugging ralsei) that much. Overall, I think Kris Kross Applesauce's real problem is less about the hugging and the pranking of Noelle, but rather something deeper. behold!

THE OMEGA THEORY

Kris just wants agency over their own life. It isn't that deep really. It is implied that Kris... honestly doesn't like themselves very much and doesn't like being human. The fact they never grew horns growing up and wore plastic horns all the time was probably the first time Kris felt like an outsider, and all they wanted to do was to be like their family. and now their parents are divorced Their older brother has been off for university and can only come back on certain occasions Sans Undertale is probably fucking their mom (or sans is just messing with you because sans is a hilarious asshole) Kris probably has trauma from whatever happened to December Holiday (which has not been revealed yet other than Spamton sweepstakes hinting) And now, Kris appears to be possessed by SOMETHING. and who the hell knows what and who is posessing kris. it could be you the player doing that or perhaps the player IS kris and that the thing possessing kris is what threw the player in the cage or more. we don't know yet But the thing i know most is that all Kris just wants is to have more control over their own life. Hell considering the implication that Ralsei is the manifestation of Kris's childhood headband, perhaps Ralsei represents a part of who Kris wishes they were. either way It doesn't matter if the player messes with Noelle or hugs Kris's friend that uncomfortably resembles their brother Kris just wants it to be THEIR decision rather than the decision of an omnipotent god that has a strange affliction for hyper-analyzing their life to make an overly-produced Tumblr post. thank you for reading my crap.

#deltarune #deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune chapter two #ralsei #kris deltarune #kris dreemurr #noelle holiday #deltarune susie #deltarune theory #deltarune speculation #pc gaming #gaming #theory #theories #media analysis #deltarune fandom #deltarune kris #deltarune noelle #deltarune ralsei

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emmedoesntdomath · 1 year

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RACETRACK MOTHERFCKING HIGGINS YOU GOSH DARN HISTORY NERD

RACERACERACERACERACERACE

also, i feel so seen rn *wipes away emotional tear*

so, ed ‘racetrack’ higgins was a newsie who helped lead the 1899/1900 newsboys’ strike against william randolph hearst and joseph pulitzer with louis ballat (who was known as kid blink), dave simons (who we don’t know the newsie name of), and (reportedly, because there aren’t that many sources with him) spot conlon (and, honestly? they could have been the same kid. not likely, but possibly). he was a brooklyn newsboy (from brighton beach specifically), and was between the ages of 16-21. he spent a considerable amount of time between the two racetracks he was near (hence the nickname). he had talked about william c. whitney, who owned a private racetrack, trained horses, and spent a lot of time at sheepshead (he said he had run horses for him, but that could be false). in just about every article he was interviewed for, it was noted that he talked A LOT about the races, even when they weren’t mentioned. like, at all (I love that for him, actually). he was charismatic, bold, and a natural-born leader. unfortunately, after the strike, he essentially disappears. there were a lot of ed higgins in the new york/jersey area, and it’s hard to track an idividual person, especially after the war started.

for more historical racetrack stuff, go check out @musicalcuriosity ‘s blog, they’ve got some great stuff over there.

now, because this isn’t actually my historical area of expertise, AND because I have actual hcs, we’re going to move on to the fun stuff.

ANTONIO ‘racetrack’ higgins is a manhattan newsie. he’s the second in command to jack kelly and more or less the ambassador to brooklyn. he’s snarky, loves gambling and spot conlon, and is probably the reason adderall was invented. he’s brilliant with numbers, but couldn’t tell you how to spell algebra to save his life. he’s petty, smokes more than anyone should, and will risk life and limb for those that he loves. he doesn’t plan to make it to 25, but will lie to anyone who asks and says he wants to be doctor for kids.

he becomes a newsie at nine, right after his mom dies, and he looks (maybe) seven, so he’s immediately taken under the wing of an older newsie. he’s dragged to the races after they finish selling, and it’s like something just clicks inside of him. he notices the trends, gets good at counting the cards, finding the tells of a good bet.

when asked, he would just shrug, a jaunty grin on his face. “it’s jus’ numbers,” he would say.

he meets a young francis sullivan (newly jack kelly) and charlie (now crutchie) when he stumbles upon their hiding spot in an alley. he recognized jack, and laughed instead of cowering when he threatened to soak him. he cheerfully informs them of a better place to hide on top of the lodging house, and from then on, they’re brothers friends.

he travels to brooklyn by himself the first time on a dare from albert (who has since become his best friend), and gets caught by hotshot within thirty minutes. he gets told to never come back with a hearty punch to the ribs for good measure.

he returns the next day.

he’s not allowed coffee (per jack), because he’s apparently “too damn jittery” as it is.

he can speak a little bit of italian, and converses with itey when they’re both at the lodging house. if he’s in public, he pretends he doesn’t know any.

when finch and albert start dating, part of him is sad, no matter how happy the rest of him is. it’s not fair, and he doesn’t know why, but it feels like a door’s shutting. he laughs, and holds spot a little tighter afterwards.

skittery taught him how to throw his first real punch, and then immediately started a fight with him “to make sure he understood the lesson”.

he’s scared of loud thunderstorms.

he hates the sound of a creaky wheel on a carriage.

he doesn’t mind girls, but he would prefer short brunettes with a temper (he’s very much got a type, and he’s not ashamed of it).

he would love harry potter, but despise JKR.

he believes in god, but doesn’t go to church.

if he had a kid, he would name them either maria or sebastian, after his mother and uncle respectively.

#i love this man #newsies #92sies #uksies #livesies #racetrack higgins #sprace #race x spot #antonio higgins #racetrack newsies #spot conlon #jack kelly #crutchie morris #crutchie newsies #francis sullivan #emme’s bad ideas

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mckitterick · 4 months

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i wish all super bowl parades will forever be cancelled for people’s safety

I completely understand where you're coming from.

We live in a cultural environment where large gatherings coexist with angry teenagers and angrier adults armed with deadly weapons, in a culture where so many are radicalized by so many things brought about by end-stage capitalism and the decline of empire, when technology hands deadly power to even individuals who very soon could release far greater death than a gun, mass casualties will continue and even rise in number and magnitude as long as people gather. And larger gatherings equal larger potential tragedy.

But I believe that soon - hopefully before the chaos following the fall of empire and greed-driven economics, hopefully while there's still hope - good people will recognize the coming end of the bad old ways and update our systems to become more resilient to change. Hopefully we'll soon see the urgency of ending rule by might and management of resources by greed. Hopefully we'll recognize our position in the timeline of civilization and stop granting power to the forces of self-destructiveness.

And hopefully we'll do these things before we entering the next age of humanity.

Because when we coexist with minds far greater in almost every way than our own whose programming (and programmed allegiance) could determine our fate, when we possess weapons technology that could enable a handful of individuals to commit mass murder in the scale of billions, when manufacturing and food and every other resource-exchange necessary for life and comfort could be freely shared or hoarded by the selfish - when all this comes to pass (and it will, soon) is not the time to leave greedy, selfish, bigoted, hateful, and otherwise compromised people in control of our government, resources, militaries, or economic engines.

I look forward to living in a world that's beyond such petty but world-changing horrors as mass shootings over arguments.

I look forward to living in a world where those empowered to govern see their duty as a service to their community or nation, where those in charge of creating things we need and want do so out of genuine enthusiasm for invention and creation to benefit all they serve.

I look forward to living in a world where all these forces for division, hatred, and selfish motivation lead not to military invasions or police overreach or individual violence, but instead one where physical restrictions or violence are reserved only for dealing with forces that threaten people's health, well-being, or freedom which are beyond the ability of individuals to fight.

I look forward to living in a world where none are driven to hatred or violence (which includes economic and emotional violence) by fear over scarcity or losing comfort, happiness, or freedom.

I look forward to living in a world that transitions smoothly from what we now endure to a place where all may achieve whatever greatness (or anonymity) they choose to the benefit of all our human and other-Earthlings family.

But to live in such a world we need to stop giving power to those who seek it - political, military/police, economic, or otherwise.

We live in a world now where our economic engines could serve everyone alive to bring about the dawn of this beautiful possible future, where we could begin healing the pain wrought by so many generations of hatred and greed, where we could learn the lessons of history and prediction, where we could allow our machines (physical and digital) to manage society, resources, and services to the benefit of all rather than feed the greed of the few.

I look forward to living in a world where people can attend mass celebrations without fearing the worst.

Thanks for the prompt, @mayodayo

#hope for the future #change #how to save the world #what could be #the singularity #it'll be here sooner than most realize #asks

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hunchbacked-one-eyed-lame · 7 months

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History Book Project

I'm not sure if I have mentioned this project in-depth on this blog, but over the past six months or so, I have been working on a book-length manuscript detailing the history of Victor Hugo's novel, its most significant adaptations, and its impact on world culture.

The current draft sits at around 85,000 words. Closer to 100,000 with additional notes and supplemental material.

It will be the definitive and most thoroughly researched work on the history of Hugo's novel and many of its adaptations written in the English language.

And this is no mere fan project. This is a serious work of historical scholarship. I'm completing my Master's Degree in History, and have worked as a historic preservationist as well as a history teacher.

Many literary histories and film histories are written by people who, quite bluntly, are not trained historians, and this shows in their work. This is a history book written by someone with training and practice in the historical discipline. I'm a young historian, granted, but a historian nonetheless.

My goal is to have this book professionally published, to make the information within as accessible and engaging as possible to the interested reader. It's a challenging goal, but I am determined to see this project through to the end.

Readers of this blog will likely be interested in the following tidbits:

The real-life inspiration for Quasimodo (not the one which was inaccurately reported by the British press in 2010)

The harrowing story of Victor Hugo's chronic laziness and procrastination (spoiler alert: it was even worse than you probably assumed)

The seldom discussed FIRST DRAFT plotline of Notre Dame de Paris, which featured Gringoire heroically sacrificing himself and didn't include Phoebus

Victor Hugo was incredibly petty about not being allowed to call Frollo a priest in his 1836 operatic version of the novel, to the point where the composer argued with him through letters sent to his 9 year old daughter (Louise Bertin was too shy to message him directly)

The actress who played Esmeralda in the 1939 adaption was pressured into marriage the day she left Europe to film the movie in Hollywood (marriage didn't last. she hated him)

There were at least three HoND burlesque shows in the 1800s.

#the hunchback of notre dame #notre dame de paris #personal

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teaveetamer · 1 year

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Regarding the last rb: I think most of us can recognize how patently ridiculous it is to just blanket accuse someone of misogyny or queerphobia for, idk, thinking that starting a war is bad. It's an annoying and unfounded accusation, but it's ultimately something most of us can shrug off.

But like... I really don't think the people making these accusations are aware of how badly that plays when the criticism you're trying to defend against is calling out bigotry.

Now, let me elaborate.

A few days ago I was on Twitter and happened to see that Edelgard was trending. So I figured I'd go see what that's about because it was probably a shitshow (since there hasn't really been anything official lately that would explain it, e.g. a FEH alt or a figma or something. So, obviously, drama was afoot).

Color me surprised to see there was a lot of criticism about Edelgard's treatment of Petra in canon (primarily, how she keeps Brigid a vassal state and holds that over Petra's head the entire war, instead of immediately granting Brigid independence when she obtained the power to do so). In sum, just discussing the racism inherent to the writing (for tiptoeing around that and definitely not condemning it like it should have) and often inherent to the fanbase (for justifying everything Edelgard does, including this)

And I was seeing two main "rebuttals" to this point.

It's not her fault because she was just a poor wittle girly who is just soooo powerless (nevermind the fact that she spends five years in a position of absolute power over the nation that is currently holding Brigid hostage. And, also, she's a grown ass woman for the entire time skip and events of the war phase), and even if she did it it's not her fault because society just raised her like that (nevermind the fact that people can grow and learn and you aren't stuck with the values your society forced on you when you were a child).

Accusing the people raising these points of misogyny and queerphobia

We could debate exactly how to approach this criticism (a mark against the character? The writers? Both? Was it intentionally written to be racist? Is it a product of social conditioning and unexamined biases on the part of the writers? Some combination?).

But you know what you probably should NOT do in, like, any circumstance? Deflect responsibility for the actions because "she was just a poor little girl who doesn't know better" and accuse the people raising these concerns of misogyny and queerphobia.

This is the kind of shit people are talking about when they say the FE fandom has a lot of unexamined racism. Your first response to someone bringing up racism is to basically say "Okay, but the reputation of the White Girl PNG I Like is more important than your feelings about racist writing/handling of PoC characters. So it's not her fault, and even if it was, you're just a bigot so you're wrong"

And just, like, there's this implicit elevation of the struggles of (white) women and (white) queer folk as more important, valid, or worthy of being defended than the struggles of people marginalized on the basis of race. Let's not even get into the fact that many of the people raising these criticisms were queer women themselves, and it's entirely possible to be a queer woman and also be prejudiced (it happens ALL THE TIME. The queer community and the feminist movements have a LONG history of explicitly excluding people who are not white. E.g. the whitewashing of Stonewall and white feminists excising black feminists from the movement to try and make feminism "more palatable" to racist white men).

Not to mention the double standard here. They'll be so quick to call out racism if it's a character they don't like, but the second it's their fave? Crickets.

Hate to break it to you, but if you only care about pointing out potential racism when it involves a character you don't like, then you're not an ally. You're an opportunist leech co-opting the struggles of real people to win petty internet arguments.

Inb4 someone accuses me of having a double standard for the Dimitri/Dedue relationship, as if Dedue following Dimitri completely of his own free will because he cares about him and believes he can help rebuild Duscur is in any way comparable to Petra being a literal hostage who risks the annihilation of her entire country if she steps out of line (and she knows it). There's definitely racist elements to Dedue's writing (I've even talked about some of them) but specifically his relationship with Dimitri/Faerghus is NOTHING like Petra's with Edelgard/Adrestia.

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childotkw · 2 years

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So I've been obsessing and re-reading all of your notes for Ruination and came to the realization that although you've briefly touched on the reactions of his family and human enemies, we've left out the response from another important group: The Dragons

How does Cannibal's presence impact the dragons? How do to they react to his presence and he to them?

Vhagar is obviously very special. Thanks to their link, Cannibal knows that she is part of the source of his bonded's absolute burning fury and hate, but the human's thoughts are a bit muddled too and that's given a new dimension and anticipation to their encounters. Dragons, as smart as they can be, are still beasts at root, so natural instinct dictates that they'd both recognize each other as a threat, possible mates (?), and in Cannibal's case a literal snack.

What do you suppose the old gal would make of him? Depending on the lore and speculation you're going off of, Cannibal could be just as ancient as Vhagar if not older, and seeing as she was born/raised in the same area, who knows, they may have clashed long before this generation of Targaryens even existed.

I also like to think that dragons have their own sort of heirarchy system. The older and larger the dragon, the more they can establish their presence, but perhaps the bonds with specific humans can also impact their ranking too.

For example, Vermithor and Silverwing were established mounts of royal blood with known history. They're large and established enough other dragons probably just let them be. But due to age it seems they got a bit lazy, so in the heirachy, they aren't really doing much and among the dragons aren't considered an "active" threat. That would probably change once they get riders though and then Vermithor would be a prime fighting target for Cannibal.

But what about Caraxes? A large, battle tested beast in his prime, bonded to a veteran warrior like Daemon? That practically oozes alpha male energy. I can imagine Caraxes being on edge around this oustider which is further fueled by Daemon's protectiveness. Their humans manage to keep them from fighting, but just barely. Caraxes is too well trained and his bond with Daemon gives him some restraint. Cannibal only manages not to maul him because on some level he recognizes through his bond with Lucerys that Caraxes is important and cannot be eaten right now. He is NOT happy, but the boy promises that he will have other dragons to hunt. There's probably a ton of threat displays and posturing on both of their parts any time they're within each other's range of sight though. Imagine noodly Caraxes all twisted and arched up like a cat, hissing and whistling at a very unimpressed Cannibal, who just needed to lie right in Caraxes' favorite spot to sunbathe. Unstoppable force meets an immovable object. lol

Syrax is the Queen's dragon and that bond means she should be important too, but she doesn't have active combat experience and she's still relatively small and young for a dragon? She might not be too important in Cannibal's eyes, but Lucerys clearly has Syrax on the DO NOT ATTACK list. She might think of him as a big threat to both Rhaenyra and her own offspring though. (According to the wiki, Cannibal ate hatchlings and dragon eggs from the area, so safe to say the big guy probably ate someboy directly related to Syrax.)

Any dragon is probably wary of Cannibal though. Animals can sense predators among them, and generally they're content to stick to their individual territories in the dragon pit or the surrounding areas on the island. They give him a wide berth and he largely ignores them...except when he's petty and antagonizes the others in a fit of boredom. (Daemon totally pushes for Lucerys and Cannibal to be sent out on missions to give them something to do once they start going stir crazy and to give Caraxes a break. lol)

Do you think certain dragons get a little more used to him and tolerate him better than others? You mentioned Jacerys trying not to treat Lucerys too differently. I can imagine him insisting that they go out flying together between training and meetings. As a result, Vermax is a little more at ease around him. Never fully relaxed, but at least he isn't skittering away whenever Cannibal so much as shifts his weight.

Might be a fun dynamic to further explore how Lucerys' love for his family translates over to Cannibal. He doesn't get the concept of love, but he does understand the draconic penchant for hoarding and possession. For good or bad, the humans and dragon's loved by Lucerys are now HIS, and there is nothing more brutal than a dragon guarding what belongs to them. It makes him even more violent when attacking the Greens.

Sorry for going on and on about the behavior of giant fictional flying lizards, but this is what happens when I have a new obsession and then decide to watch an animal documentary series. Haha.

No need to apologise! It's always fun to see the ideas people spin!

Cannibal will still keep himself, largely, apart from the rest of the dragons. Just because he has Lucerys now doesn't means he's house-trained enough to be left unsupervised with the other dragons lmao. It's also symbolic of the distance Lucerys now feels to his family. For the other dragons, they'd probably feel a bit uneasy around Cannibal, since he's so old, big and violent.

The only one I see as initially less adverse to approaching Cannibal would be Caraxes. The whole idea of the bonds playing into how the dragons hierarchy works is definitely interesting! I think Caraxes' bond with Daemon would definitely influence how he and Cannibal interacted. They'd both know the connection and love between Daemon and Lucerys, so they'd probably play nice just purely on that. Of course, they're still dragons, so their idea of playing nice would be not actively murdering each other.

Same would go for Syrax and even Vermax. Their bonds with Lucerys' family - the ones he loves dearly - would offer them a tentative protection from Cannibal's hunger. He's still wild, so if they did push too far with him, he'd snap back, but he'd restrain himself from outright killing.

I think Cannibal would consider Rhaenyra, Jace, Daemon, etc. as more 'non-entities' at first. Lucerys is literally the only human he cares about because he's his. But over time, he might start to at least identify them as 'family-adjacent'.

Lucerys' family's dragons would get used to Cannibal more quickly, given the proximity and forced interactions - but I'd keep some of the friction there for a good while, I think.

Eventually, over time, Cannibal would be seen as 'one of them'. The uneasiness would likely never fade completely, but once he started to curb the baby / egg eating a bit, the other dragons would probably be more welcoming of his presence.

Now, Vhagar would be the interesting one. Obviously the thing between Aemond and Lucerys is bleeding through a lot, so Cannibal is definitely checking her out (both as a threat and a mate, which is very smart of him). Their clashes are fierce but also dance-like in nature, because they're unconsciously presenting to their potential mate.

Vhagar would see and acknowledge Cannibal's strength and brutality, and she does mark him down as a 'maybe'. He's worthy, but he's also an asshole. I like the thought that they might have clashed in the past. Vhagar's been all over Westeros, and Cannibal's been around the block before as well. At the very least, they would have heard each other at some point - dragon roars carry quite far, after all. So that's a cool concept!

#fallen-angel-lucifer #HOTD #ruination au #aemond targaryen #lucerys velaryon #lucemond #vhagar the dragon #cannibal the dragon

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