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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

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I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend slash childhood best friend. My parents moved while we started dating when we were 17, now we're 22. We live pretty far away and we met once every year until the pandemic hit. Then we kept contact via chats and phone calls, sometimes videocalls but his network isn't very good where he lives so we mainly chat.

These days, like for the last year, I've been feeling nervous and anxious over phonecalls and face to face chats. We text each other all the time and we're really close but he wants to see or hear me and I don't want that. Like I have a phobia of letting him perceive me. I feel insecure about everything even tho he's not causing it, I just feel like I'll do or say something stupid and he'll laugh at me, like he'll be disappointed to see my face or hear me. So I avoid his requests to meet or call. This isn't just for him but it's the strongest with him.

Last week my friends from uni decided to have a big outing, almost the whole day out eating and watching a movie. It was planned since June so I was pretty excited. On that day while I was getting ready they kept calling to make sure I was coming. We were supposed to meet at a restaurant and go from there.

Then one friend who had just reached the restaurant called me, giggling and out of breath, to ask if I was taking so long because I wanted to "impress him into proposing". Then I heard my other friends tell her to shut up and not ruin it. I immediately understood what was going on but I called one of the other girls (my closest friend along with my bf) to gently ask for an explanation. I wasn't accusing her of anything yet but she kept implying that she knew I figured it out. I then said I might not go because I had a headache. She dismissed me and firmly told me to come, like in a friendly threatening manner, don't make excuses, go there or she won't talk to me again.

I hung up and called the first girl who was giggling, she said to just go it'll be fun or they'll be sad. I called my bf to ask where he was and he said my city but miles away from that restaurant, then asked why. I told him I knew what they were planning, and they could have fun without me and I didn't trust them anymore, then hung up.

As you have guessed they planned a surprise meetup between me and my bf. Surprise for just me, he was in on the plan and told me he'd be in my city that week for his uni related reasons.

I haven't spoken to any of them since then. I have to see the girls all the time at uni so that's hard but bf is getting full silent treatment and he's begging and apologizing. He said he'll never ask again and he sent a voice note where he spunded like he was crying. The girl who giggled said sorry and she was just tagging along to the other two girls' plan.

I feel bad for blowing up on them but I feel betrayed, I really can't get over how they thought it'd be funny and cute. The close girl friend hasn't apologized, she and the third girl doesn't see any problem with what they did and think that I'm overreacting like a diva. They think I ruined their plan instead.

Aita for not wanting to be friends with any of the girls anymore? I know some of you will say get better friends but these are the better friends, they're my only friends. I don't think I'm up for friendship anymore. I've forgiven my bf but I'm not sure if I want to keep the relationship, for this drama and my clear lack of interest in seeing him for a whole year. I may be overreacting, I'm being cruel to all of them for a phobia. That's why I'm asking.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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itsoutrageouss · 3 months

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Like a bellflower - chapter two

chapter two of like a bellflower, a Joel Miller x Fem!Oc fanfiction

warnings: blood, violence, clickers, typical tlou things

words: 2,4k

Story taglist // chapter one

2. No ammo, no sleep

✿✿✿

The soles of my feet were aching. We hadn’t spoken since he gave me his name. I tested it wordlessly on my tongue, joel, joel joel. Lot of tongue work in the name. As we walked, the sun baked over os, glaring peacefully at the destroyed land around us. The suburb houses with vines snaking over the woodwork, a firefly mark on one of them, I noted.

Joel didn’t stop, or talk so I didn't either. I hadn’t felt this kind of peace in a while, I noted. Since that day, that damned day when Kade found me, nothing but terror had reigned in my body. It still did, creeping and simmering in the backbones of my body, under the waves it bubbled but I left it undisturbed for the time.

As we moved, I thought it more and more ridiculous that the horse wasn’t used to carry at least one of us- I understood fully that it's a lovely companion to have just in itself but in today's world survival and practicality came first, and anything could be used as something it wasn’t. And I knew for a fact that horses were often used to carry people.

I think Joel saw it in my face, when he from time to time looked over the horse to make sure I was still there, and saw my envious glare on the bag that was strapped over the horse. He too didn’t say anything. I felt like I was playing a game with him. Maybe if I lost and talked first he’d leave me on the roadside and ride off. Just the thought made a rush of anxiety shoot up my throat and into my mouth, my teeth clenching down hard on nothing.

I think hours went by. I put a hand on the warm, moving body of the chestnut horse and closed my eyes, letting it lead me forward. I imagined I was back in Spain. Lovely, warm Spain with the orange trees and the stone courtyards. The sun was the same that had shone on my child-self in the rural part of the country, as well as in the city, when it would peak through church bells swinging back and forth. Sometimes I wondered, if we hadn’t gone back to the US for those couple of months -we pendled back and forth between America and Spain ever since i was born- life would’ve been different. My dad loved Spain more than anything- he would’ve gotten around better than we did here. But of course, doing a worldwide pandemic no flight would take us back. Now I knew I would never get to see the beauty of it again, and I didn't dare think of how it looked now; drowned in the dust of ruin and violence. I imagined the entire country had been enveloped by an impenetrable bubble. Everything there would be the same, spanish men with tan skin and loud laughs, nuns with kind smiles, dusty cats snaking around your ankles in the plazas.

“Belle?” Joel's gruff voice shook me from my daydream, and I realized that my eyes had been closed the entire time. When i opened them again, joel was in front of me, blocking the bright sun that now shimmered around his shadow like he was an angel.

“Hm?”

“If you’re needing anything, now is the time to stock up,” he said, moving out of the way. We were at the foot of a bigger city. The kind with skyscrapers that had cracked halfway down like an old tree in a storm. The kind where plants had overgrown over every surface. Despite everything, the plants thrived and looked more beautiful than when us humans had control over the world. Now we felt like subjects to nature again.

“Okay.” I needed ammo. I actually didn’t have any left. When I had pointed my gun at Joel, it was as empty a promise as it could be. All I could've done was throw it at him really hard. Maybe he knew.

“You need ammo,” he said bluntly and started walking. Yes, he definitely knew. I sighed. An old convenience store snaked around the first corner we came to. The windows had been smashed and it looked dark and wet inside. This city might be infected by thousands, I thought. I pulled out a little knife from my belt.

“Behind me,” Joel ordered, and his broad shoulder obstructed my view, his hands up and steady around his gun, back held tightly in suspense as we opened the door. Strangely enough, the little bell still worked and rang loudly as Joel opened the door. We were greeted, unluckily. A hoarse, broken sound of something once human screeched out as soon as we stepped inside.

“Hide,'' Joel hissed, pushing me to the side behind an old rack of magazines. I nearly slipped on the dirty tile floor, wet with mud and blood and footprints. I snaked along the isles and pressed up against the corner. Joel was ahead, peering out behind the magazines. Clicking noises. They made shivers dance up my spine and I had to stop my body from crawling in on itself. On my left, between the back wall and an old produce aisle, I heard a low snarl and a click click click. Those noises were impossible for any human to make, ear piercing even when whispered.

Joel moved swiftly and I whipped my head around to see him charge forward and out of my sight. If he didn’t know about the second clicker, it would come at him unprepared when the other would howl into its death. And I couldn’t tell him. I clutched the knife until the bones in my hand shook and left footsteps of mud as I ran the other way from Joel. I didn’t have time to strategise, or sneak because I heard the roar of the other clicker. It was like the sound activated something in me because I hurled onto the other clicker, stabbing with all my might into the stringy, meaty neck of the monster. The feel of the knife penetrating through flesh ripped through my hand, but I did it again. And again. Its arms flailed out trying to pry me off by scratching along my legs. Being clamored to such a nasty creature made me want to run; fast, hard and far. Instead I stabbed it over and over wherever the knife would hit, hoping it wouldn’t tear my own skin on accident. A pair of very human hands grabbed the creature's head and flung it to the ground, shaking me off simultaneously. I fell flat on my ass while Joel put one last stab in its back and the sounds died out with a painful wheeze.

The palms of my hands burned where they had scraped the ground, blood mixing with mud.

“Are you okay?” Joel asked, his gun pointed to the ground, though he still held it tight to his body, peering out the broken glass and into the backrooms of the kiosk. I reached up, and to my surprise tears were warm on my cheeks again. I really had to stop crying so much. I nodded and went to stand up. My bones had seemed to liquify and I might've fallen into a puddle, like spilled ice cream if I tried moving.

I was so tired. My body had been on high alert ever since- ever since I killed all those people, and Kane found me on the ground. At that moment I hated that I didn’t have any bullets. He thought I was dead, but I scattered like a mouse when he tried to ransack me for stuff. I surrendered fully to him and his group- the only people around me that hadn’t died.

“Hey! Are you hurt?” Joel asked, louder and seemingly annoyed at my lack of response.

“No.” I didn’t have any wounds, at least. With a slipping grip I held onto the aisle shelves and dragged my skeleton up. A handprint of dark blood was left on the white, shiny metal. I didn’t want to look at it, and didn’t want to know how I looked, splattered in blood and tears. I bet my hair was all messed up. I liked to be clean in this unsanitary world but found it increasingly harder as time went by to uphold the same face and delicacy as before. My personal battle with the world; I was a restorer of softness in a place where everything was dirty and old. It was an art I felt everyone around me had left behind- the small joys and beauties of caring for yourself. Nice smells, blooming flowers, red cheeks.

I started, realizing I was just standing, with no purpose or expression. Joel was growing impatient and I picked up my knife, sheathed it after cleaning it thoroughly.

Joel had already moved along into the next room.

“You needed ammo?” he asked, muffled behind walls. I puffed up my chest and willed my feet to move. The room was dark and humid. His back was turned to me, broad and bending over crates.

I didn’t want more ammo, truth be told. “Yes. I don’t have any at all, actually.”

“What gun do you have?” he was rummaging still, pulling things out and placing them in a bag. I didn’t know.

“This one,” I muttered, fishing it out and holding it flat in my palm, balancing it carefully without touching it. The blood on my hands was staining and creasing in the lines of my palm.

He only took a look at it before turning back around. I went to put the pack of ammo into my bag. The cardboard was wet and the bullets nearly fell from the absolving encasement.

“You’re supposed to put them in the gun, you know?” Joel said with a brow raised. The scarce hint of amusement and sarcasm was the most emotion he’d expressed in the last 8 hours of knowing each other. It made me nervous, i felt ridiculous because obviously they were going in the gun but i'd rather put it off. I fumbled and the cardboard fell apart beneath my fingertips and bullets scattered onto the tiles, clanging loudly. Joel raised a hand to silence me, looking around. There was a pregnant pause. No clickers.

I fell to the floor and picked the bullets up one by one, putting them into the holster with gritted teeth. Now it was done. No one said I had to use it just because it was loaded, though that was probably what was expected of me. Joel kept looking at me as if he was trying to figure something out. I didn’t want him to figure anything out so I headed back out into the sun. I felt his eyes following me, and once again I hid behind the horse. The trusty, big horse that divided us. I felt the muscles of its stomach contract under my palm as I smoothed along its side where the sun had hit. It felt the dust that clung to its coat, sweeping it off meticulously until the chestnut brown shone brightly.

“What’s your name pretty?” I asked sweetly, feeling the unmatched softness of a horse's mule. It breathed warm air onto the bare skin of my arm, bowing its head like a greeting to me. Whatever was on Joel's mind, he seemed to have dropped it when he came back.

“Doesn’t have one.” Instead of shying away on the other side of the animal, he stood in front of me, a hand held out waitingly. I screwed up my face in confusion. Did he want me to shake his hand? Give him something?

“You can barely walk straight.” he replied to my silent question. I felt grateful, but I didn’t want him to know that my feet were dying. I wasn’t going to be a bother to him already, especially not if he would start pulling me on the horse like a kid.

“That’s okay, I don’t mind walking,” I smiled, but I couldn't make it reach my eyes. I remember my dad would pull the horse along when we had wandered for nearly two days. I'd lay on its thick neck, watching the trees stroll past with half-lidded eyes. Someone stole our horse, though.

“You follow my rules when you’re with me. We’re riding.” He unbound the horse and got up himself, scooting forward so I could sit behind him. With some awkward difficulty, grabbing Joel's jacket to pull myself up and almost pulling him down, I got up. The horse was big and spacious enough to leave some room between us. My legs tingled with exhaustion; felt light like when you took off a heavy backpack and I fought not to lean forward for something to rest on. I felt the strong body move underneath my legs, shifting us side to side as we rode slowly forward. The sun filtered in and out between the trees as we rode through the city. I peered up at the broken skyscrapers, plants blossoming out of its cracks like the kraken attacking a pirate ship. The horse rocked me like a crib, and with the steady rhythm of hooves, my spine curled more and more. Eventually my head knocked against Joel's back every few minutes. I only took in the world around me in abstract terms, like an art museum. Colors, shapes, sounds, fading in and out of reality. I didn’t even realize when the hooves stopped lulling me to sleep.

“C’mon, scoot,” Joel suddenly wasn’t in front of me, and I nearly fell forward, catching myself on the broad horseback just in time with frail arms. I dragged myself forward drowsily by his command until my hands could reach the thick, warm neck. I felt Joel behind me, his arms encasing my sides as he grabbed the toils again. His legs squeezed the sides of mine to keep me falling. I tried to start myself awake somehow, tried grabbing the toils or lifting my neck that was impossibly heavy like lead.

“Just go to sleep,” Joel's voice was soothing and low, and I'd barely registered his words before I fell backwards into him, head lolling against his shoulder. He didn’t move and I dozed off in a matter of seconds, but not before a little, warm tear rolled down my cheek. I hadn’t felt safe going to sleep for years before now.

✿✿✿

taglist:

@orcasoul @ashhlsstuff @rav3n-pascal22 @anyalc0h0lic @morgaussy @joelmillersblog @frecklefacelm @leqonsluv3r @jasminmariesworld @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl @dugiioh

#joel miller #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller ff #joel miller x fem!oc #joel miller x female oc #joel miller tlou #joel miller x oc #tlou #the last of us #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us hbo #pedro pascal #pedro pascal joel #fanfiction

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golbrocklovely · 11 months

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Sam and Colby going to Jake’s party made me think that maybe when things got bad between them , it was more Snc and Corey being on worse terms and having some fight and Jake just sticking to Corey , because he was always closer to him? Idk. Because Snc are bad at cutting bad people out from their life, but I doubt that they would forgive Jake if he would really did something really really bad for them. Even Colby wouldn’t I think … idk… just thinking.

Bit honestly I hope they will never reunite with Corey and for fuck sake i beg you never Elton. I can tolerate Jake… but not those two

i always believed that whatever happened between snc and jake was just petty, dumb shit and that nothing truly serious happened. but i figured whatever did happen caused them to need a break from one another.

this is my guess about all of it (so obviously take it with a grain of salt):

i think when jake and corey moved in with snc, they thought things would be like it was in the old trap house. however, snc weren't gonna let them go buckwild crazy bc now this was a house that they owned, not rented. i think once snc went from roommates to landlords (in a way), that started the riff in the friendship. we also gotta remember that it wasn't just them splitting off, jake/corey and snc, it was also the entire friendgroup. slowly but surely, everyone stopped being friends for some reason. my personal guess is that once snc stopped making the content they used to make ie the paranormal content with jake and corey, mix that with the pandemic and not seeing one another, i think that caused everyone to reevaluate their friendships. mike had his issues with some of the friends, kevin ventured off too, aryia moved, most moved onto knj's friendgroup, ect ect.

and you could tell things were changing or had changed. by kat's bday of 2020, not everyone was showing up. and then definitely by sam's, no one came over. i also believe that snc changing up their content made some of their friends jump ship. i think some of their friends didn't believe that snc would be succeeding if they changed their format, and if snc don't succeed, neither do their friends since so many of them at the time relied on snc's clout.

by 2021, things changed a lot. i think by that point, jake had alluded to wanting to move out and have his own place so that he could be loud and obnoxious without it being an issue (which is what seemed to be a problem in the house for some reason that he never explained). so he moved out. and then corey followed suit not long after that.

now with corey, i think he had plans to move out eventually, but i think snc not doing paranormal content and moving on to other things pushed his hand. corey barely made his own content around this time. realistically, he relied on snc and their constant posting to give him any attention since he couldn't keep up or bother to post his own content often enough. and once snc stopped doing haunted stuff, i think corey knew he had to jump ship and find someone else to lean on. and that's where elton comes in at.

ppl forget that there was a period of time that elton didn't want to do tfil. back in late 2018/early 2019, he stopped tfil. he literally ended it and said that he wanted to make documentaries. he made one or two and no one cared about them, which is why he came back out with tfil and did those trips with snc, corey, and andrea. elton lost the love he had for his own brand and only brought it back bc he had no other options.

elton had done paranormal stuff before on his other, personal channel (which is now the overnight channel). granted, a lot of them were faked or had edits in them to make the content more interesting, but he did do that stuff prior to snc doing it. while elton moved onto paranormal stuff, snc switched to 25x25, which elton saw as a copycat to tfil - even tho it never was.

corey had to move on with elton, not only bc from he said he wanted to make music and get back into dancing (which… how's that going for you) but bc elton was doing the one thing that brought corey attention: paranormal content. ppl knew corey for the paranormal content he made with snc, so jumping onto someone else's brand that was paranormal related worked for him.

and things only escalated once snc went back to paranormal investigating when 25x25 didn't work out like they hoped.

i think jake and corey were very close since they became friends, and it only made sense that once they moved out and kinda pretended snc didn't exist (for one reason or another) to rely on each other. but again, i don't think jake ever really had a deep issue with snc. maybe in the beginning when he first moved out, but i say after a couple months he probably was fine with them again. plus, friendships go thru ebbs and flows all the time.

as for corey and snc….. that friendship will probably never be fully mended. i think corey only sided with elton in the beginning bc he had to. but by this point, i think he's equally lost in the sauce as much as elton. they both love to think that snc stole ideas from tfil/elton when that just didn't happen. and now they're in a race with snc when they aren't even in the same game as them lol

i don't see elton or corey ever really being friends with snc again, or vice versa. if they do become friends, there's gonna need to be a LOT of talking to get thru all the bs that occurred.

also… snc are gonna have to deal with half the fandom hating elton for forever sksksk

#ask #personal #sam and colby #elton castee #corey scherer #jake webber

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aquakris · 9 months

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alright since the twins are back ( hopefully for now at least or something because I know for damn sure they ain’t coming back to YouTube) here’s my life update:

•well…I have a gf🤭

•after a 1.5 year hiatus from school, I’m back in school majoring in Animal Science-equine science & Women’s Studies (a double major I fear even tho I just need one class to have my degree in Women’s Studies💁🏾‍♀️)

• during the pandemic, I got both of my associates (it’s really by accident ngl but I’m kinda smart?)

• hotgirlremi (my dog) is now 3 years old

•yes I’m still black

•yes Grayson is still my husband even tho he did leave me for a while

•and yes Megan thee stallion is still my wife

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glxyaaandromeda · 2 years

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Sleepless Nights

Pairing/s: Julian Devorak x Female Reader

A/N: I started writing this base on what I've been up to lately, and yes online classes are still going on here in my place because it's still pandemic. English is not my first language, so please bear with me! If you have any request, just let me know, I'll try to write something from it! Enjoy reading!

~~~

"(Y/N)! That's your fourth cup of coffee- isn't too much coffee bad for you?"

Julian half shouted at me when I'm making my fourth cup of coffee. I was too busy with my college online classes and I really need something to wake me up, at least a bit.

"hmm, it's only coffee plus I'm still fine."

"You know the last time you had five coffee in a day? That didn't end well, love"

"ugh I know, I wasn't really okay and coffee is somehow made me feel better when I'm down."

I sigh as I slowly take a sip on my newly brewed coffee. Julian didn't replied and continued to write something on his journal, or that's what I saw when I side-eye him.

"Love?"

"Hmm?"

I hum in response while reading some PDF books that my prof had sent me for this whole week.

"It's been days and you haven't got any proper sleep.."

"I know, I know."

Julian didn't say anything but I heard him shuffle on his seat, he probably stand up from where he was sitting. I didn't pay too much attention since I was too occupied reading, tho I feel like he walks past behind on me and I feel like he was staring intensely at my back.

"What is it-"

I wasn't able to finish my sentence when he suddenly spin my swivel chair facing him. Our face are few inches close that I can almost feel his breath.

"Ilya you don't have to do that!"

He pouts and gave me a puppy look.

"Can we at least cuddle? I missed your warmth, we haven't slept together recently since you always end up sleeping on your desk and.. and-"

He was kneeling on both of his knees, pouting in front of me.. But I have classes tomorrow and I badly needed to finish this pdf I was reading.

"Julian.. I'm busy-"

He grabbed my right hand and start giving it sloppy kisses, god this man would literally do anything. I rolled my eyes and sigh, while he's busy kissing my right hand I gently run my left hands on his hair.

"Ilya, I have to take notes of these pdf that I'm reading from this one particular subject-"

Again with a puppy dog eyes he pouted while looking up at me.

"Give me at least five minutes, I'll sleep and cuddle with you 'mkay?"

"Hmm, fine five minutes it is."

He stands up and grab one of the chair beside from my desk, and he sit down beside me, hearing him yawns makes me suddenly sleepy or maybe because I haven't got any decent sleep for a week now.

***

Time had passed and the cup of coffee an hour ago is almost half empty. I was about to stretch when I didn't realize Ilya had been falling asleep beside me, or probably he just closed my eyes and got tired reading on the lecture from my laptop screen.

Closing all the tabs and the pdf reader on my laptop, I decided to put shut it down. Cleaning and arranging my desk carefully because I don't want to wake up Julian on his peaceful sleep either.

I almost nudge my mug (with still coffee on it) with my elbow making a noise a bit which makes Julian startled from his peaceful sleep.

"(Y/N)!"

Sighing in defeat I raised both of my hands and muttered 'I'm sorry'. He looks at me worriedly, since I haven't got any decent sleep for the past few days I motioned the bed and he nodded.

"Do you want me to carry you?"

"But you're almost half aslee-"

"I insist. Come on, I'll carry you to bed love."

You listened and offered your both arms for him to carry you, and so he did. You're his like koala and you snuggle on his neck, wrapping your both legs on his hip he run his left hand on your back soothing you.

You start to yawn as well, heavy eyelids waiting for it to finally close after days of not able to sleep well on your desk. You inhaled his scent, you're not sure if he smells like lavender or shea butter. Not only that, but you couldn't care less about it because you're exhausted.

Once Julian lay you down in the bed, he smiled on your sleeping state. Gently running his hands on your hair, stroking it he decided to lay down with you.

"Do you want to be a big spoon or small spoon?"

Murmuring in your sleepy state, he didn't quite catch it but he saw that you gently patted your chest (which means he'll be the small spoon) and so he did oblige to be your small spoon. Both of you sleep peacefully from each other's warmth.

#julian devorak #julian devorak x reader #Julian Devorak #fanfic #fanfiction #the arcana #sleepy mc #collegeau #im supposed to be doing some backlogs from college but here I am #doctor julian devorak #The Arcana x Reader #The Arcana Julian

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butchbarbieagainstterfs · 2 years

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Hey the sex worker who sent in that ask. I want to make it clear that I fucking loved my time as a sex worker and I only had to stop cause of the pandemic.. and the moment it is safe for me to start again I am.

Cause I love sex work, yes there was time I had to deal with assholes but I was luckily in a position where I could deny their requests. Most of the time tho they were decently respectful. I got to have fun sexy sex and enjoy it.

I top, bottom, Dom and subbed. I had sex with men and women. I had alot of fun and met interesting people and hot payed to do fun kink stuff I couldn't do on my own.

Yes sex work can be abusive... So can any fucking job. I want all sex workers to be in a position where they are supported so they don't need to do it if they please, and if they do wish to continue they can be safe when doing so. I.e having enough money to not feel like they need to take and do anything the client asks.

It's like any other job, honestly it's just like fucking acting. Sure your "put on display" but so are actors when they do sex scenes.

I like and enjoy sex work, I enjoy having sex, and one night stands and doing weird kinky shit with strangers. I just wish it wasn't fucking illegal so I could do it safely and if something did happen to me I could get help without risking myself.

Fuck terfs and fuck anyone who tries to take this away from me. This is what I enjoy, this is what I want to do. It's not the only thing I do but God damn it I love to do it.

I'm sorry if this was to agressive or ranty... I just.. I hate being treated like I don't know any better about it. I hate having to try and convince people who call themselves God damn feminists that sex worker shouldn't be illegal.

Porn and sex is a form of art... It's not something you can get rid of. It'll be here forever, so deal with it.

^^^^^^^^

#anti swerf

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actualhumansunshine · 2 years

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Have you been following the recent talk about how an increasing number of artists have had to cancel tours both because of financial and wellbeing reasons? Vulture did a really good article about how the live music industry is in an existential crisis and more and more artists are also posting about how it’s getting harder and harder for them to make a living from touring, which is where they used to earn the majority of their money.

I still believe that Niall aims to tour as soon as it’s possible for him and he is obviously in a privileged position, but I also get it if he is hesitant to make any promises about touring next year before he is 100% sure that it will go ahead, especially after the difficult decisions he had to make with the last tour.

yeah and i think that's kind of been the thing for him the past couple of years as well? no point in really pushing to get music out quickly if major aspects of what he loves about it—touring, promoting, etc—weren't really viable options at the time. and like we've discussed around here plenty of times before, once it gets to a point where those DO start to become viable options and he IS looking at putting out music in the relatively near future, putting together the single/album rollout plan takes time, putting together a tour takes time, even putting an album on vinyl takes time, so there's always going to be a gap between the moment where they decide 'ok we can do this now' and actually doing it, and right now there's probably a much larger gap than there was pre-covid.

that article is interesting tho cause i feel like while it does maybe raise some interesting points, i don't feel like it really applies to niall all that much tbh? i'd assume that he's not really in a place where he's strapped for cash and would be struggling to justify the expenses of a tour like a lot of smaller artists might be yk? whether he's paying for it himself or the label pays or however it is that works, there IS money backing him so i'd assume that aspect isn't as much of an issue for him.

and then when it comes to these bigger artists that are cancelling shows and tours for personal wellbeing reasons, that feels to me more like an artist-specific issue rather than some sort of industry-wide problem? we've known for a while now that artists like shawn or justin or demi have struggled not just with the pressures of touring specifically, but also with the pressures of being in the public eye in general. and so because of where they might be at mentally, emotionally, physically, etc, touring might not be something that's for them, but i don't think that means touring is bad for everyone. touring IS an extremely hard lifestyle and it's definitely NOT for everyone, especially with the added pressure and struggles that "post-pandemic life" bring to it, but niall's always been someone that's been very vocal about how much he loves touring and being on the road and playing to different people in different places and all that. and i think especially if he takes what he learned from the flicker world tour in terms of giving himself plenty of downtime between shows and between legs, i don't see why he wouldn't enjoy it just as much as he always has yk?

#that article is so interesting cause it's like.#it's posing this world in which artists aren't making money from touring (anymore?)#but at the same time we KNOW they're not making money from streaming #so....where are they getting money from #nh3 chats #answered #anonymous

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appropriatelystupid · 2 years

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Since you're bored and I'm trying to avoid work (haha), I'll ask something! (Keep in mind I'm newish to the fandom so I apologize if you've answered some variation of this before).

What drew you to Supercorp? Were you already watching SG when Lena came on or were you drawn to it because of kcmg? Or was it the fandom itself? Something else?

I hope work improves!

Oooo actually I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this

So back when sg started on cbs I kept up with all of it, watched every week, was rooting for Kara and James (tho the slightest bit begrudgingly only because I didn’t/don’t like how they wrote for them vs what they were also writing for Lucy and James)

And when it moved to the cw I was just happy to still have it. I knew the quality would change having been watching arrow and flash but I was just thrilled it wasn’t gone because Melissa in the suit is just such a happy visual for me (in like a “fuck yeah look at that awesome woman” way at the time because I still hadn’t had my bi epiphany yet)

And then boy howdy did it become tough to watch. I’m pretty sure I made it through season 2 and thought Lena was cool (if tragically underutilized in that for so long she had to deal with the “will she go evil” writing that just wasn’t warranted past s2) and to be completely honest, at the time, some of the way they set up was monel wasn’t the worst for me but I wasn’t really watching watching (tho I was properly upset over the James sidelining for the real world implications of it)

(Tbh if I had been more invested then I maybe wouldn’t have ever come back around like I have)

So then it became that every season from 3 to 5 I’d be there night one ready to get back in it and then within 4-6 episodes they’d do something so fucking frustrating that I’d start missing a week or two at a time until there was no catching up until it’s on dvd

But then the pandemic happened and I’d had my epiphanies and suddenly all I wanted to do for comfort (while having to work through it all) was to look at and think about KMcG’s face

And thus the fall down the rabbit hole began, i was there every week suffering through s6 and lowkey haven’t been able to read any fic that’s not sc in months and months

#oh that’s a lot of words and this 3rd cup of coffee hasn’t kicked in yet but i think i answered it #the pandemic also led to me finally getting through merlin which is a separate yet equal disaster that i’m obsessed with #formsofcontinuity #appropriatelyasked #stupidlyanswered

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thotbugatti · 1 year

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A Love Letter to Twitter

This is going to sound really stupid but I’m prepared for that. Are you? I have been on twitter in many forms since the beginning of 2014. That’s almost 9 years. Over that time, I have made countless connections, discovered unbelievable content creators and comedians; learned a lot about the world and myself. Because of twitter, I’ve been able to become the person I am now.

At the beginning of the pandemic, I, along with probably many other people, really struggled with my sense of gender identity as well as sexuality. I wasn’t going to school, wasn’t going to work; I was stuck in isolation with nothing but drowning thoughts of who and what I might be. At first, I thought I was non binary. That didn’t fit. Could I have been trans? Yes, actually, that’s exactly what it was. Suddenly, my world opened up even more. I was finding trans people on YouTube first, then I discovered an intricate community of other trans women on Twitter. Connecting my experiences with them and realizing more and more that many of the things they experienced were also things I experienced with or struggled with, that really did something for me. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so alone. All thanks to twitter.

On one hand, it might seem so silly to be upset about the loss of something so trivial as twitter, yet I am. Many others probably are as well but don’t want to admit that. I do. When you lose something that has been part of your life for so long, you’re bound to. If it does indeed die, I am going to miss it so much. I’m going to miss the people tho, not the platform itself. For all intents and purposes, twitter is a house of popsicle sticks held together by rubber bands and stick glue. I think had Elon Musk never even stuck his toes into purchasing twitter, we might have it for many years to come. But he did, and here we are. I’m going to miss the people. I love so dearly being able to connect with others from all over the world in a way that doesn’t feel so unbelievably one sided. With something like TikTok or Instagram, something that isn’t almost entirely text based, it feels as though you’re not interacting with a person. It feels more as if you’re interacting with the vision of a person. It’s worse with YouTube and TikTok, where there are, more than likely, billions of hours of videos that you end up just endlessly watching and scrolling past. Even with tumblr, while I am having fun with it, I feel it’s so hard to find exactly what I want to see, to find the people who I want to follow. I’m not sure how it is on the webpage, but the for you tab on this app just doesn’t seem to work. Things that were there last week still permeate at the very top. I want to be able to scroll, I want to be able to read what people are saying, I want to be able to find the most up to date news. I feel that that is a very uniquely twitter experience, and we’ll likely never see anything like it again. That’s very sad to me.

Transness is a very isolating and lonely experience. You might run across a trans person in real life, but it’s not a common thing. Even if you did, how likely are you to actually talk to them? Ultimately, you probably end up walking right past each other, maybe sharing a glance or a small smile, but nothing more. You’ll probably never see them again. This is my experience living in a very rural area. My high school had one trans person (not including myself because I didn’t know at the time). I often think about her, wondering how she managed to do it. If you live in a city like Chicago, New York, LA, San Francisco, wherever, you’ll come across more trans people to be sure. If you’re still in college, same situation. For many of us who aren’t in school anymore or live in the middle of nowhere, we aren’t very common. Twitter. Twitter opens up that world for many of us (or tumblr idk ymmv).

There’s part of me that still believes that twitter won’t die. Elon Musk will sell it off before he crashes and burns because, at the end of the day, he cares more about his money and his ego than he does anything else. There’s another part of me that is standing on the deck of the twitter ship, watching the iceberg grow ever closer. It’s sad, and it’s scary. Maybe it’ll be a good thing, but I can’t help but wonder what could come from the downfall. Maybe I’ll be able to actually get some work done. Maybe there will be less relative negativity in the world. Or maybe more anti trans and anti lgbt legislature will silently pass, with nothing around for people to bring light to the bigotry that blights this country.

So, Twitter if you do hit that iceberg, if you do sink, it’s been an honor. If it doesn’t however, I’m going to look like a big goober for spending over half an hour of my time writing a big long post about it while sitting on the floor at work. 🖤

#twitter

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the-bjd-community-confess · 2 years

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I have one friend irl that I share doll stuff with. We’ve been friends a very long time and we often take trips to thrift stores and craft stores to buy accessories and supplies for our collections and dolls together.

I’ve been deaf in one of my ears since I was a child due to a genetic condition and I never really complained much about it I just dealt with it. I had issues with it in school because I couldn’t hear people talking to me, but doctors never really wanted to help me with it because the deafness has been gradual because of the condition I have. I’m in my mid 20’s now so I can’t hear anything in that ear anymore besides ringing and it’s been difficult as of late and this doll friend has always been kind of insensitive about it.

He often stands on the wrong side of me or faces away from me when talking (I usually read lips) and I’ve told him a thousand times that I’m hard of hearing and lately because of the pandemic and people wearing masks I’ve had to say “I’m sorry, can you speak up? I’m hard of hearing.” Over and over in public, so I got tired of it and finally went out of my way to get a hearing assistive device. I figured I could justify it because I’m like 90-95% deaf in that ear now. It’s pricey (even though I got a very generic and simplistic one) so I had to skip out on some doll stuff I wanted last month.

Anyway I’ve been wearing it now when I go out and I’m still getting used to it. I have to adjust a lot especially in small rooms or cars because I get a lot of feedback if people talk too loud, but I’m kind of excited about it. I really like that I can hear again but it also makes me happy as a disabled person (I have a few invisible disabilities) to have something to show people to “prove” I’m disabled because I feel like people just don’t believe that I’m deaf in one ear because I didn’t talk about it a lot growing up, so I’ve been pretty happy about it. I don’t talk it to death though and I’m not constantly fussing with it if I don’t have to adjust it and I don’t go around announcing that I’m deaf or that I have a hearing aid to people if I haven’t already asked them to speak up.

So the other day, my doll friend and I decided to go shopping at a thrift store and then a craft store and then to get lunch because I have a new doll on its way and he’s been wanted to get some craft stuff and also look at playline stuff at the local thrift shop and like I said, I’ve still been testing the hearing aid because I only got it a week or two ago. He doesn’t like the feedback so I make sure to adjust it before I we go out and only adjust it if we’re not really close together in case it feeds back. I talked about it a bit at the beginning of the trip because I had an issue with it that day where someone yelled so loud it had like screeched at me and I thought it was funny and then in the thrift store the cashier was wearing a mask and I struggled to hear my total even with the hearing aid on so I told her that I’m hard of hearing and we laughed about it and I told her I’m still learning my hearing aid and it was a nice moment, but my friend didn’t seem to think it was funny.

The trip was mostly fine but it came up again when someone in the craft store asked about it and then I made a joke about it when my friend and I were laughing at lunch about how hard it is to hear people with masks on, but when I made the joke he got kind of rude. He did the sort of “yeah, yeah, I get it you wear a hearing aid” with the implied (you don’t have to keep talking about it). Sometimes I talk too much (usually about dolls tho) and I get t that, so I would’ve just taken that as it was, but he’s been insensitive about my deafness in the past so it really hurt my feelings.

Now I don’t know how to feel because it’s kind of soured spending time with him because I feel like if I can’t hear then I can’t ask for anyone to speak up or he’ll get frustrated with me. Also I have a doll that was originally just supposed to be mute, but now I’m thinking about making her partially deaf or making a new deaf character doll, but I feel like I can’t share that with him because clearly it annoys him.

He can be kind of shitty sometimes, but most of the time he’s a cool guy and we’ve known each other a very long time, but this really hurt my feelings and idk how to feel about this whole thing now.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions #Health #BJD Friends

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golbrocklovely · 7 months

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Tbf to SnC 25x25 was inauthentic, they had other people filming it, they had other people editing it with them, it was a lot more scripted and it was stuff which everyone else on youtube was doing at the time. Though there were moments within the series which did shine and show the real them, a lot of it felt incredibly fake and plastic and wooden and just soso cringey.

25x25 also felt very rich boys waving money around and show offy to me, which made it rather unrelatable in all honesty and this was the main reason alot of the group of SnC fans I knew online completely stopped watching them. (they stopped watching TFIL for much the same reasons very quickly)

So I can understand when they say it's inauthentic because in truth it was. We get a lot more authentic stuff in their haunted content because they do all of it themselves and its a lot less scripted and less planned out which can also be viewed as a bad thing cos as you said it means they work none stop and take no breaks even when one of them is seriously ill.

I will say I loved parts of 25x25 but overall thinking them talking badly about it is a sign of their downfall like you seem to suggest shows that you don't view their content with quite the same eyes as a lot of the fandom.

Also sorry to burst the bubble but they've always been about the money ever since they started selling merch, so it is mildly amusing you've only just noticed that now.

your idea of authentic and my idea of authentic are very much opposite lol

bc while the content they do now, in theory, is them… so was 25x25, especially the earlier episodes.

before snc started 25x25, they were so EXCITED to film this content. they couldn't wait to post about it, they were hyped as hell to film bc it was fresh and new. that level of excitement, to me, hasn't been seen since when it comes to them talking about the content they make now. maybe with the original hell week. that was about the last time they felt genuinely excited for what they were making.

the first episode was about them getting tattoos that were about one another. it was about them connecting and showing how much they cared about one another. they showed how much they trusted each other by giving one another tattoos. that episode was all about their friendship. the car crash/drifting one was about confronting past traumas, same with the video of sam jumping off the rock in seychelles after breaking his back. the scuba diving video was how to deal with anxiety on a massive scale and really pushing yourself to do something you want to do.

these videos were such a great look into who they were as ppl, something that this fandom has bitched about since day one. everyone wants to be close to snc, and they handed that to us on a silver platter, but too many ppl wanted ~spooky content~. once the reception of their new content died off and ppl weren't watching, snc clearly lost all momentum they had for what they were creating, which is why you get things like the vegas video. like yeah, that was a little braggadocios, but snc aren't exactly poor middle class americans either. they have two fucking mcmansions, one of which they were living in at the time. having money is very much an snc thing. colby's closet is kinda proof of that alone lol

i think it also didn't play out in their favor bc it was the middle of the pandemic and travelling was still a no go. so doing exclusively travel content kinda seemed dumb and irresponsible. and it was. a lot of the content they made, they could have done back home or at least with a lot less travelling. but that mixed with ppl just wanting the same old content from them, even tho it wasn't gonna happen for a while, caused a lot of ppl to dip from snc's content altogether. it also didn't help that being in this fandom at the time was kind of a hellscape.

could 25x25 be a little over produced at times? sure. i won't argue against that. but to pretend that it was less like snc isn't reality, to me. that was them just as much as this content is them. the difference is they had a fire under their ass to make something back then. they had passion. and now this… this just feels like a job. like going thru the motions.

that's not to say i think they don't care about their content at all. clearly they do. but the spark of passion they one had for this haunted content is gone to me. they pigeonholed themselves into being ghost hunters and now are somewhat regretting it. they overwork themselves and have no personal lives. and that is causing them to have burn out that will eventually come to bite them in the ass.

and obviously they do shit for money and views. it's their job after all. i've never pretended to not know that. but there is a difference between "i get to work a job i love and also make a lot of money" and "i'm doing this job bc it makes money, it is what it is". it's the lack of love for the content that is starting to seep thru, imo.

#ask #personal #sam and colby

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seoafin · 2 years

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This might be my chance to be a bit of a nerd for Gojo's powers but here goes!

I think there's definitely something with the fact that Gojo has chosen to eat lots of sweets or sugar to be precise in order to stimulate his brain more all that while running RCT along aswell. However something i noticed is that Gege once mentioned he gets tired more quickly without his blindfold and that's where RCT actually wouldn't help him, so it makes me strongly believe that the reason he's successfully running RCT first is because he consumes lots of sugar to convert it into extra energy for his brain, and given the way it functions that means he would need extra more. RCT also does require a huge CE output but I'm sure that's not really a problem to Gojo since due to six eyes he loses almost nothing. But hmm he isn't capable of healing others though, like Yuta, Shoko and Sukuna and I tho it's mentioned that he did struggle with RCT in hs, he was having a hard time understanding how it works but it's no surprise why this is so rare amongst sorcerers.

Back to the main topic, aging is something that happens naturally, cells stop dividing as time goes by and the reason RCT heals and repairs is solely because it is using body's reserves that already exist to reconstruct, refresh lost or damaged parts. Cells are being damaged indirectly however.

Therefore it makes perfect sense if you think about it how we heal naturally but slower. RCT works in a more unnatural way that probably causes cells to stimulate faster but their division doesn't stop and it doesn't slow down. Maybe Gojo would age slower than an average sorcerer due to him being less exposed to earthly deceases and such so it gives his cells a prolonged lifespan. I still don't know how much that sugar consumption is gonna do him good though! 😭

That's what i think based on everything i learned. Please feel free to answer anytime you want and remember to not pressure yourself Morgan! <3

yeah!! i've always thought it was interesting how gojo's RCT can't heal others, which always led me to believe that maybe gojo just can't utilize it in the way shoko can

i was also thinking something along those lines that since he's not exposed to any germs or diseases he would have a longer lifespan predicated on the fact that he isn't subject to outside factors like the rest of us smh (he'd be great in a pandemic)

i have no idea about the other biological factors though other than knowing that the cells in our bodies are constantly being replaced so that sounds about right! it would be great to know what RCT actually does and how it biologically functions other than the general 'it heals' and 'it creates positive energy out of negative' but i doubt akutami is going to elaborate on it unless he elaborates on shoko's character 😭

#this is very interesting though!!!#even if gojo does age slower i feel like akutami would rather kill gojo off than explain it LMAO #long post #liishook

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cram-cram · 1 year

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Out of my head

This is merely something I personally wanted to write. It's been hard to focus on writing my requests so I decided to write something for myself to get back on track.

The reader is male, but pronouns such as he/him won't be used.

The other character present in the story is going to be of your choosing. It might be someone you like irl or your favorite character from a specific piece of media. Again, this is mainly to help me get back on track, so I hope you guys enjoy this little piece of creative writing.

Classifications!

Category: angst

Writing format: Oneshot

Reader: male (pronouns not used)

Story length: short

Requested: no

Extra: the school period and seasons of the year are based on Brazil. Our schools start at the start of the year and end at the end of the year, with a winter break in July. Our year starts and ends during summer, so December is summer here.

Women (she/her & she/they) DNI

How long has it been now? Days, weeks, months? You don't know, for time has lost it's meaning. Everything in your mind is them and only them. If only you told them how you felt before graduation, you wouldn't be in this situation.

It's December, your classes are over, the school year is over. You graduated and you were fortunante enough to get into your dream college. Classes will start again in two months, you'll meet new people, learn new things, be free from the shackled that bind you in your own house. But there's one thing you can't shake off, and it's all their fault, you say.

The memory of laughing together a couple of years ago haunts you. Since when did you become so quiet? So distant? You don't know, but everything feels like a mess now. You decide to text you best friend. Maybe she'll help you? Who knows. She got together with the one she loved, after all. She managed to confess during prom, when all you did was stare longingly at the person you desired.

You remember prom. You called them to be your partner and they agreed. The dance was... Something, for sure. The way they held you so carefully, the suave movements to the serene ballroom music, everything felt perfect. Your eyes were constantly going from their eyes to their lips, wondering how soft would be. But that chance is now gone, you lost it.

Maybe next time, you though at the time. But when would next time be? You barely had the courage to ask them out then, imagine now. You still remember that one time they had to wear a tight shirt to an interclass game, you lost, but that wasn't important. They were playing your favorite sport, wearing a tight t-shirt that accentuated their build. That only made you fall harder at the time.

Their laught, their smile, everything that came out of them mesmerized you and you couldn't help but give those loving longing looks at them when their attention was turned to their friends.

You wanted to confess, you truly did, but would they accept you? Did they even like boys? What if they don't, what will you do? You drifted apart during the pandemic and you didn't know how to tighten your bond again. You became shy, insecure, you truly changed.

Your chance is now gone. The only way to "fix" this situation is to message them, ask them if they're free to hang out. But you're scared, you're anxious. How would they react? Are they going to say yes? Are they going to think the situation is weird, since you haven't talked much? Who knows, certainly not you.

"Maybe another time" you say, turning your phone off, a calming song coming through your earphones. It was your favorite song. Maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to talk to them during this summer break...

I hope you enjoyed this short story. I'll try to focus on writing my requests again. It was good getting this out of my head tho, lol

Have a very nice timezone, dear readers.

#x male reader #male reader #male reader x various #cram stories

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