#the only thing they’ve heard from me is ‘no i don’t want to interview with you. thanks though’
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Trial By Combat - 6
Requested By: No one. Original Work
CW: manipulation?
Summary: Arlecchino’s got a secret…
Note: You all asked and I will provide! Here’s part six <3 this chapter is a bit slow but I promise it’s leading up to something great!
Part One —> Part Five
-
Fontaine, for the most part, had finally begun to go back to normal. Although no trials have been held since the Creators trial, many shops have reopened their doors to the public once more. It’s as if Fontainians want to disregard the event entirely, treating it as a work of fiction like the Prophecy. However, this doesn’t stop The Steambird from posting every single update regarding the Creator, nor does it stop every copy from selling out.
Despite the lack of trials, it hasn’t prevented the Chief Justice from sending criminals to the Fortress of Meropide, and only hours from now, Paimon and Aether would be a part of the group sent there. The two were the only customers dining at Cafe Lutece this afternoon, the owner seemed almost eager to provide the gluttonous amount of food the duo had ordered.
“Oh Paimon is feeling a bunch of nerves right now and it’s just making her more hungry.” She whines while rubbing her stomach. “I’m just hoping that the food in the Fortress is actually tasty.”
Aether lets out a soft chuckle, “it’s a prison Paimon. I doubt that the food will be any good”
Paimon pouts crossing her arms. “Hopefully will be rightfully compensated for our due diligence. Oh! Maybe even something from the Creator themselves!”
The traveler gives her a look, “you shouldn’t think like that Paimon, not when they are currently missing right now.”
The travel guide immediately covers her lips, muttering out a small apology.
“Speaking of the Creator,” Paimon says, “do you really think Childe might know something? I mean, we’ve heard how he’s talked about them before.”
It was true, during their time in Liyue when they had met Childe, he had expressed how heavily he revered the Creator. Not just him, all of the harbingers they’ve met have mentioned the Creator in a positive light. Aether even recalls when the Wanderer told him that the only thing all of the harbingers could agree on was their ultimate respect for them.
“Based off our interactions with the Fatui before, they might have some respect for Their Grace. But we still have no idea why they want the Gnosis, maybe it’s connected to the Creator.”
Paimon nods in agreement. “You’re right. If the gnosis are what connect the Archons to Celestia, then maybe the Creator has something similar?”
“Hopefully if the Fatui got their hands on Their Grace, they haven’t left Fontaine yet. We should still be able to rescue them.” Aether adds.
“Paimon hopes so too! Oh I can only imagine the type of horrors they could be putting them through!”
“Are you talking about Their Grace?!”
A familiar girl with a pink bob holding a camera in her head pops out of a bush quickly approaching the table. It was Charlotte, and she had a large smile on her face.
“Do you two have any nuggets of information about Their Grace? Oh please share it with me, I’ll make it worth your while!”
Paimon and Aether share a look before looking back at the journalist.
“We don’t have any new information on The Creator.” Paimon explained, “we didn’t even know they had returned until Monsieur Neuvillette told us.”
Charlotte makes a look of surprise, “wait seriously? It was such big news! I’m sure everyone in Teyvat wrote the piece I had written.”
Charlotte places her camera on the table taking a seat across from them. “I’m just hoping for Their Grace to have a speedy recovery. I would love to interview them if they let me, it just seems like all of the big names in Fontaine never have the time for an interview. Monsieur Neuvillette and the Duke of Meropide have been on the top of my list for ages now!”
“Oh right, you’re a journalist Charlotte! ” Paimon exclaimed, “do you have an information about the Duke?”
Charlotte ponders for a moment, “not really, just the same regurgitated information I get from people who leave the Fortress. Why do you ask?”
“We actually are going to the Fortress later today.” Aether answers.
Charlotte’s eyes get as big as saucers as she’s jumping in her seat. “You two are going to the Fortress?! Will you two please get some information about the Duke for me?
Noticing the restrained looks on their face, Charlotte quickly adds, “I’ll pay for your meal! Yeah…! Let’s make it a deal, you get information on the Duke for me and this meal of yours is on me!”
Paimon grins, “it’s a deal!”
Charlotte shares Paimon’s enthusiasm as she pulls out a small bag of mora ready to pay for the meal. At that moment, the owner returns with multiple plates and bowls filled with various amounts of entrees and desserts wheeling it to the table.
“H—how much did you order…?”
———
Many journalist stood outside of the Palais Mermonia demanding answers from their Archon who had entered the building earlier that morning. Luckily, gardes stood outside preventing anyone from entering.
Inside of the chief justice’s office was him, the God of Justice, and the Champion Duelist whose hair was damp with sea water.
“I checked the surrounding area,” Clorinde says, “there is no traces of Their Grace anywhere. The only logical conclusion is that the Fatui must’ve done something with them.”
Neuvillette nods. “Thank you for looking Clorinde, your help is appreciated.”
Clorinde nods, “it’s no trouble. We all want Their Grace to be found safe and sound.”
Furina had a worried look on her face as she paces back and forth in the office. “W—what are we supposed to do now? We looked all over Fontaine and they aren’t anywhere.”
“Lady Furina.”
Furina stops pacing, turning her gaze over to Neuvillette who looked calm considering the situation. “I think it’s time to meet with the Kanve, wouldn’t you agree?”
“T—that Knave?” Furina stammers, “ha, why would we meet with her? Don’t we have more important things to worry about?”
Neuvillette clears his throat, “until we find Their Grace, we must operate like normal. If the others find out that we lost Their Grace—“
Furina lets out a breath putting on a confident stance, “yes! Right of course!” She interrupts, “I was thinking the same thing… I will prepare for the two of us to discuss relations with her as soon as possible.”
“Who said that I would be joining you?”
Focalors lets out a short gasp as she quickly approaches his desk, her gloved hands balling into fists. “Y—you expect me to attend the meeting alone! No! You must go with me!”
Neuvillette closes his eyes as he shake her head, “I must focus all my attention on the Creator, we must locate them before the rest of Fontaine and Teyvat begin asking questions. As the Archon, this is something you should be able to handle. Correct?”
Furina tenses slightly but lets out a sigh. “But… wouldn’t attending the meeting be the best thing for Their Grace?”
Neuvillette furrows his brows, “What do you mean?”
Furina’s confident flair was back just as quickly as it dissipated, “Attending the meeting will give us the chance to indirectly interrogate the harbingers before she even knows that we suspect her.”
Noticing the look on the chief justice’s face, Furina lets out a boastful laugh. “Naturally I, the God of Justice, would be the first one to think of this! Worry not Neuvillette, I believe that after this meeting, the truth shall be revealed!”
Clorinde mutters how she needed a towel and Neuvillette lets out a sigh.
“Very well... I will participate in the meeting.”
In between Fontaine’s Lumidouce Harbor and Chenyu Vale, a large ship was anchored the familiar insignia imprinted in the sail. There was a plethora of Fatui agents stationed on the ship that it was overwhelming, it would be impossible to infiltrate the ship without being spotted.
Many of the agents weren’t even aware why there was such an urgency to return to the homeland. Curious glances and whispers spread throughout the ship like wildfire, wondering what could the Knave possibly be doing in the lower deck that no one else was allowed to enter unless they brought news from Fontaine. All of them knew better than to question their harbinger, but she hadn’t been seen since the night before.
“Your Grace.”
Arlecchino’s soft voice cuts through your thoughts. Fontaine was in danger and you were the only one who could help, at least that’s what she believed. It was only a matter of time before the nation was completely wiped off the map, Lady Furina has done nothing but bury her head in the sand.
You glance at her face, despite her sharp features she still had a soft yet powerful air around her. Maybe that’s why the children from the House of the Hearth trust her so much.
“Are you hungry? I have chefs on board, they can prepare anything you desire.” Her hand rested on top of yours, her long nails rubbing against your knuckles in a comforting way.
You were famished. You knew she was capable of, but she was making you feel so welcomed. It felt as if you could trust her, tell her anything and she would understand.
You nod slowly and she smiles.
“I’ll be right back.”
She stands up from her spot next to you leaving the room. Her luscious black and white hair that was pulled into a low ponytail flowed behind her. Arlecchino returned quickly letting out a soft sigh.
“They are preparing a Snezhnayian specialty, the food is quite delicious. I hope it’s to your liking” She commented placing her hand right back on top of yours.
“We will be heading towards Snezhnaya at sunset.” She says. “Although leaving Fontaine wasn’t originally apart of my plan, but considering the circumstances, changes had to be made.”
You furrow your brows. “The circumstances?”
Arlecchino nods. “Your power…or rather, lack there of.”
“I have a colleague, I do not trust nor like him very much but I cannot deny his intelligence, I believe he may be able to figure out the answer… or even Her Majesty may know.”
So there was a colleague within the Fatui who had extreme intelligence that might be able to help you. Maybe he would even know why you were healing so quickly? Or does that tie into your “godly” abilities too?
“Is that why we are leaving so quickly? Because of my supposed amnesia?” You ask.
The Knave shakes her head, “not necessarily. It’s mainly for your safety, you don’t wish to stay in a nation that tried to kill you, right Your Grace?”
You were forced into a corner with that question. Wanting to stay in a nation that almost killed you was bad, but wanting to go to a nation that had the capability to kidnap you wasn’t any better. Yet you had to pick your poison, and in that moment you decided—
“Right.” You reply. “Leaving Fontaine is the smartest option.”
“I knew that you would see it my way,” she praises, “I only want what’s best for you and all of Teyvat.” She gives your hand a squeeze a small smile spreading on her red lips.
A small knock on the door interrupts the moment, Arlecchino looks at the door her gaze becoming icy. “You may enter.”
The door opens and a young lady whose face is obscured by a mask enters and she immediately kneels.
“Y—your Grace… Lady Harbinger.” Her voice was almost breathless, her gaze transfixed on you. “I have news from Fontaine.”
Arlecchino lets out a sigh crossing her legs. “News? What is it?”
“Focalors has agreed to have a political meeting with you. The chief justice Neuvillette will also be attending.”
The Knave doesn’t even try to hide the smirk that spreads on her face, “Very well then. Was there a time mentioned for this meeting?”
“In the next few hours Lady Harbinger. We’ve already got a boat ready to return back to Fontaine’s harbor.”
Arlecchino stands, her gaze becomes soft once more when she looks back at you. “Your Grace, I will return as soon as I can. If you have any needs anyone on the ship will be more than happy to serve you.”
She exchanges a few whispers with the agent before giving you one last smile leaving the bottom deck. The agent looks at you one last time before stuttering out.
“I—I’ll go get your meal immediately Your Grace!” She rushes out of the door leaving you alone once more.
The Fortress of Meropide was more grand than Aether had anticipated. Surrounded by Fontaine’s sea, there was no escape from this prison besides the path they embarked, which was at the rear of the Opera Epiclese.
After heaving their mugshots taken, Aether and Paimon are escorted onto a ship where they meet their tour guide, who is also just another prisoner within the Fortress. The entire tour he was standoffish and dry only giving the required amount of information. If the two asked for more information about credit coupons, secret rules, or about the Creator, he would say they’d have to pay for that.
The prisoner leads the two down the large hallway of the Fortress when multiple gardemeks came around the corner. The traveler immediately takes a stance ready for a fight when a voice eases his worries coming around the corner with the machinery.
“Welcome to the Fortress of Meropide,” the man greets. He had dark clothing and dark hair with a scar under his eye.
“Y—your Grace!” The tour guide quickly says, his standoffish nature immediately disappears. “Lovely weather we’re having!”
The man glances over at the tour guide, “Hm? Oh yes, I guess the weather is nice. If we could see it.”
The prisoner lets out an awkward laugh as the Duke looks back at Paimon and Aether. “I’m Wriothesley, but you can call me Your Grace.”
“You’re the Duke of Meropide?” Paimon asks in a shocked tone. Wriothesley nods.
“So, how was your tour?” He asks, “was everything up to standard?”
Aether glances as the tour guide for a moment before giving Wriothesley a firm nod. “Yep. No complaints here.”
“Wonderful.” Wriothesley smiles, “I think we should be able to reward you with more credit coupons then?”
“T—thank you Your Grace! Thank you!” The tour guide says. He then looks over at the traveler, “and thank you for such kind words! If you ever need anything! Anything at all! Please come find me!”
Once he rushes off, the Duke turns his attention back onto the newcomers.
“So, is it normal for you to greet all newbies in person like this?” Paimon asks.
Wriothesley lets out a soft laugh. “No it’s not. I just heard that you two were friends with Neuvillette so I figured I finish the tour myself.”
“Wait, how do you know that?” Aether questions.
“The Fortress might look like it’s cut off from the rest of the world but word still travels fast. Just like what happened to Their Eminence.”
Paimon glances at the traveler briefly. Wriothesley continues, “Many people in the Fortress were ready to leave just for a chance at seeing the Creator. But since they are still in the hospital recovering, I managed to keep them under control.”
“What else do you know about the Creator?” Aether asks.
“Nothing really.” He responds, “I haven’t had the time to leave the Fortress and go visit them myself. Unless you’re talking about the basic information, there’s books all around the Fortress that can tell you that.”
Wriothesley continues on with the tour, showing the where the so-called cafeteria was, the Pankration Ring, and where they would report to work everyday. He also mentions Sigewinne, the nurse who looks after anyone who gets hurt or sick.
Lastly, he shows them where they’ll be sleeping. As he explains the procedures for their room, Aether gazes falls onto someone walking nearby. An oddly familiar magician.
Lyney stops walking and looks back at him, but once Wriothesley notices, Lyney lets out a soft laugh doing a dramatic bow.
“Well hello there Your Grace! It’s lovely to see you out of your office!”
Wriothesley crosses his arms, “it’s good to see you too, but shouldn’t you be reporting to work?”
The magician gives him a cheeky smile as he stands back up, “of course! That’s where I was heading right now! But these two must be very important to get a personal tour from the Duke himself.”
Wriothesley says nothing in response but Lyney quickly excuses himself, his gaze falling onto Aether once more before walking out of sight.
“Come on,” Wriothesley says, “there’s one last stop I’d like to make.”
———
The three sit at one of the tables in the cafeteria, the chef bringing over three welfare meals. They remove the lids revealing the delectable meals inside causing Paimons mouth to water.
“Oh is this what the food is like in the Fortress?” She rubes her hands together, “Paimon could get used to this!”
“Actually, I managed to pull a few strings to get this meal, after today, you might not get another meal like this.”
The fairy didn’t seem to be paying attention as she keeps shoving more food into her mouth. The traveler rolls his eyes at his companion, looking back at the Duke.
“So you said there was books in the Fortress about the Creator?” Aether asks, his fork pushing around his meal mindlessly.
Wriothesley nods. “There are groups within the Fortress to make people feel more welcome or comfortable. There’s quite a few revolved around Their Eminence. Prayer groups, wanting a stronger relationship, or just normal worship in general, they’re actually pretty popular.”
Paimon swallows the food in her mouth, “How do you feel about them?”
Wriothesley ponders for a second, “I don’t know anyone who has a negative view on Their Eminence, including myself. I would be honored to go up to the surface soon and share a cup of tea with them.”
Aether didn’t say anything in response, but he had a feeling that Wriothesley knew more about the Creator than he let on. He did say word travels fast from the surface, is it possible he already knows the Creator is missing?
“Anyways,” Wriothesley says, “I have other things to attend to, enjoy your time in the Fortress and try not to cause any trouble.”
The Duke gives one last farewell, leaving the table without another word. Aether and Paimon continue eating their welfare meals preparing themselves to adjust to their new situation and figure what exactly Childe may know about the Creator.
———
“You were right.”
In a dark corner of the Fortress, the twins from the House of the Hearth spoke in quiet whispers.
“Paimon and the Traveler, I just saw them.” Lyney explained.
Lynette’s ear lay flat on her head, her tail swaying slightly. “Monsieur Neuvillette must’ve told them and they’re here to investigate.”
“We have to do what Father told us to do.“ Lyney adds, “although playing ignorant to figure what they know won’t hurt either.”
Lynette lets out a sigh. “…and what about Tartaglia?”
Lyney shrugs, “what about him? He’s not here. We have to focus on the Creator. Without Their Grace, the Fatui won’t be able to—“
“I know.” Lynette interrupts. “Let’s just focus on the traveler for now.
“I must say, the timing of this meeting seems almost convient…” Arlecchino narrows her gaze as she brings her teacup up to her lips.
“I’ll just cut straight to the chase. I’m here about my colleague, Childe and of course, Their Grace.”
The table inside of Neuvillette’s office was covered in sweets from Snezhnaya, something the Kanve brought to ease the tensions within the meeting. Yet, it doesn’t seem to be working.
“Childe was declared innocent by you, the Iudex, yet was still given a guilty verdict by the Oratrice…” Arlecchino explains, “and only days after that, you declare that Their Grace is an imposter and almost kill them.”
Furina shifts uncomfortably in her seat, “Y-yes… we are aware of our… transgressions. The Creator is being well looked after and is healing quite quickly.”
Arlecchino perks up, “Oh? They are? So is it possible for me to see them for myself?”
“That won’t be possible at the moment, I apologize.” Neuvillette quickly adds in.
Arlecchino brings a forkful of cake up to her mouth as she lets out a scoff. “An outright refusal? I must say, I am surprised…”
Neuvillette crosses his arms, “this meeting wasn’t called to talk about Their Grace, but rather Mr. Tartaglia, correct?”
“That is correct. Then am I able to enter the Fortress to check on the wellbeing of my colleague?”
“That also won’t be possible.”
Arlecchino sighs, “so I cannot see Their Grace and I cannot see Childe. What exactly will this meeting accomplish?”
“We already have a course of action for Their Grace.” Focalors adds, “but we cannot share it with you or any other nations for now. This meeting was just a… common courtesy”
“And as for Mr. Tartaglia I am investigating matter.” The chief justice adds.
“A common courtesy?” The Knave questions, “everyone in Teyvat is wondering just what exactly will Fontaine do after committing the biggest sin known to man… and all you can say is that it’s confidential? Not to mention the prophecy you refuse to address.”
Furina shoves another bite of cake into her mouth, scooting her chair closer to Neuvillette.
“As long as Their Grace is in our nation, they are under our jurisdiction.” Neuvillette explains.
Arlecchino clicks her tongue. “A disappointing outcome indeed… but I cannot say I am shocked.”
Arlecchino finished her tea, “the Fatui is willing to extend our help if you need it. You all seem to have a lot on your plate at the moment. Maybe it’s best to pass some of the responsibility onto someone else?”
“That won’t be necessary.” Neuvillette states.
The Knave stands from her seat, brushing her bangs out of the way, revealing her red X eyes. “I think it’s safe to say this meeting is concluded, I have to return back to Snezhnaya immediately.”
Furina raises a brow, “returing so soon? W—why such a rush to leave?”
It falls silent in the room for a few seconds.
“Her Majesty cares very dearly about the Creator, I am expected to report any and all news directly to her.” Arlecchino explains, her back facing the two.
“Snezhnaya as a whole cares deeply about Their Grace, and once they heal completely we will welcome them with open arms… not a trial.”
Focalors looks down at her lap as Arlecchino leaves the office returning to her ship anchored near the border of Fontaine and Liyue. A sinister smile spread on her lips while Neuvillette and Furina sit in the office in silence, a sour taste lingering in their mouth even with the baked goods in front of them.
-
© avocad1s 2024
Note: Good luck to all my Arlecchino wanters! I got her and her sig weapon so I give all my luck to you <3
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Lovejoy is in this article!
Wake Up! Lovejoy are already a phenomenon
Squashed into a tour bus somewhere in Berlin are the biggest band that – unless you’re as chronically online as us, Dear Reader – you’ve maybe never heard of. With sold-out tours across the UK, Europe and North America, millions of monthly Spotify listeners and a spot in the UK Top 40 with their latest single ‘Call Me What You Like’, Lovejoy could be mistaken for veterans.
Far from it. Their first proper bit of press is, well, this very cover interview. They’re gearing up to release only their third (or maybe fourth, depending how you count their just dropped ‘From Studio 4’ collection, released under the name Anvil Cat) EP, ‘Wake Up & It’s Over’, and those sold-out tours? The first shows they’ve ever played. It’s rare this amount of hype surrounds a guitar band these days, so who the fuck are Lovejoy?
Formed during the early 2021 UK lockdown, Lovejoy consists of Will Gold as the frontman, Joe Goldsmith on lead guitar, Ash Kabosu on bass, and Mark Boardman on drums. Seemingly brought together by sheer luck, their epic ascent is the result of a lifetime of individual hard work and some serious fan devotion over the past couple of years.
It’s taken a while to pin the band down, and we catch them just after their first full UK tour as they embark on the European leg. It’s all been a bit of a whirlwind.
“I think it was our 32nd show yesterday, which is just nuts,” says Ash, who introduces himself as the one who doesn’t talk and proceeds to lead the interview. “Literally every show we’ve played, we’ve been like, ‘That was the best one!’ Then the next one, ‘Oh, that was the best one!’”
“I’ve especially been enjoying acclimating myself to not knowing where I’m going to be falling asleep every night,” says Will, “which is a very hard thing to get around. But it’s a lot of fun. I’m really enjoying it. And I love seeing everyone’s faces because we’ve been somewhat of a lockdown band. To now be able to put faces to the numbers is great; it’s lovely to see and speak to them.”
Describing their very first live shows at the end of 2022 as “teething”, Lovejoy admit they’re still getting to grips with it all. Although the size of their fanbase means they could’ve easily sold out bigger venues than the humble Electric Brixton they headed up on this tour, they didn’t want to skip steps for a good reason.
“Rock music has always been what me and Joe were the most interested in” -Will Gold
“We didn’t want to be bad,” says Ash, frankly. “It’s a completely different ballpark to just, you know, playing guitar in your bedroom, and there are so many moving parts and so many things you don’t think about that you need to learn and understand. We didn’t want to deliver a show to the fans that wasn’t good enough, so we’ve been deliberately ramping it up step by step and going through the process as naturally as possible.”
“It’s so much more personable and fun to make mistakes in front of a crowd of a couple hundred people who are along with you for the ride than when you start to get into the larger crowds,” adds Will. “Making a mistake, at least for me, really gets to me, but if I’m in a room with less people, and they’re there for the story, I feel more ready to make mistakes.”
Will and Joe cut their teeth playing with a folk punk band a few years prior to Lovejoy forming. After what Will describes as a “very dramatic first gig”, they went their separate ways, but his lust for live never went away. Finding one another at the beginning of the pandemic, Joe came to visit Will before the lockdowns kicked in and decided to sleep on the sofa rather than risking taking public transport back and forth to London.
“We wrote our entire first EP in my basement and very quickly decided we’re going to need a drummer and a bassist because all the stuff we were writing was band stuff,” Will explains. “It wasn’t our normal folk stuff that we were used to – and rock music has always been what me and Joe were the most interested in; even when we were in that folk band, we used to implore the lead singer if we could write some indie music please, and he would always be like, nah, not really into Arctic Monkeys actually.”
So they set out to find both a bassist and a drummer. Fate did its thing, and upon walking into a Smashburger in Brighton, Will met Ash, bass guitar in tow, and asked him if he’d like to be in a band.
“Ash is not one to say no to many exciting adventures,” says Will, “so he said yeah, and I gave him my address. Joe was very sceptical at first when I said I found a bassist in a burger shop.”
“I think for me personally,” adds Ash, “I’m living in Brighton – which is kind of a young, creative place – you often have conversations in pubs and places where people are like, we should do this, we should do that, and I genuinely thought that this was just another one of those conversations. Like, ‘Hey, I’m in a band, do you want to play?’ I never thought in my wildest dreams anything would even come of it. I didn’t even think we’d practice, let alone be playing shows in front of thousands of people.”
As for Mark, he was booked for the day via the freelancer hiring website Fiverr. When they couldn’t pay him the fee he was owed, they instead offered him a spot in the band.
“I said, look, you’re sick at this, do you want to just join the band?” Will explains. “Mark thought about it for a good five seconds and then said yes.”
“I was really determined, playing acoustic guitar and learning stuff from YouTube and Arctic Monkeys songbooks” -Joe Goldsmith
Echoing Ash’s sentiments, Mark recalls, “I thought it would be another band that I’d join that wouldn’t even release on Spotify. Now we’ve sold out tours in the UK, Europe, America….”
Life before Lovejoy was very different for most of the boys. Mark was at university studying editing, hoping to work in visual effects, letting drumming take the back seat. “It would have been a grind for like 40 years to get a good paying job, and Will came along and saved me. So I’m very grateful for that,” he says.
Ash was working in broadcasting as a producer for TV, a job he’d gotten into after studying film production at uni, and had taught himself animation as another means of income. “Unlike Mark, I actually enjoyed it,” he adds.
As for Joe, he was working as a tree surgeon, which is a flashier-sounding name than what the job actually entailed. “I was literally just cleaning up branches on the floor,” he says. “I wasn’t even allowed to go up the trees.”
Will isn’t such a stranger to the spotlight, as he edited for the YouTube channel SootHouse in the late 2010s, later creating his own channel as Wilbur Soot and amassing a sizeable following on the streaming platform Twitch (although the other boys say they had no idea about his following when they joined the band, Ash noting, “I just thought he was quite a tall, handsome man, we’re just here because we fancy Will”).
With the band assembled, they started recording together in Will’s bedroom. In early 2021, the UK was still firmly in lockdown, so with all studios closed, it was their only choice. When they finally made it to a studio, the group had two days to record five songs, the ones that would make up their first EP, 2021’s ‘Are You Alright?’.
“We didn’t get enough done,” says Will, “which is why the first EP actually has scratch vocals. We just used my draft vocals that are then doubled up and thickened out. And also because it would have been far too expensive to just keep going back.”
“Which is why, little easter egg,” adds Ash, “some of the lyrics are wrong. We don’t sing those anymore, so the fans get very confused when we perform some of the earlier songs.”
The whole journey has been a learning curve for all four members. With none of them coming from a proper musical background, there was no one to guide them in the process. “We kind of had to jump headfirst in and see what we can do off the back of it,” says Will.
That isn’t to say they haven’t put the work in, though. With each of the boys picking up their instruments in their childhood or teenage years, it feels like they’ve been setting up their own individual dominoes, hitting the ground running when they were knocked down in perfect formation.
“There’s a photo of me when I was a baby,” Mark begins, explaining where he got his start in music. “I couldn’t even walk, and I’m on my auntie’s lap, who originally taught me drums. I’ve been wanting to play since I could speak, basically, but we could never afford a kit. And then I got to about eight years old, my parents finally got me an electric drum kit, and my auntie started teaching me. I caught up with her quickly, which was crazy. I always wanted to be in a band, but I was thinking more realistically, it’s the same odds as becoming a famous football player or something like that. Then along came these boys, and it all changed.”
“I was really determined from when I was about 13, 14?” Joe recalls, “Playing acoustic guitar and just learning stuff from YouTube and Arctic Monkeys songbooks, working out tabs and things like that. I was pretty dead set on at least giving it a shot to try.”
Ash’s start was similar, learning to play guitar with his dad. “When I was very young, my dad found an old Spanish guitar in the attic of our family home that wasn’t ours,” he tells us. “I’ve kind of always played guitar, and I’ve always been interested in music; my dad is in a band as well, bless him, doing dad rock. It’s always been a part of me, but I never ever thought I’d do anything with it.”
“Not for me,” Will jumps in. “The minute I first started learning guitar, I was like, this is what I want. When I was a teenager, I used to follow around bands and go to all their shows, and I knew from that moment I want this as my creative outlet. This is where I want to put my creative energy. I literally remember I shut myself in my room and practised guitar for like ten hours a day in the beginning. I missed two summers doing that. To finally be in this position I’m in now, thanks to all the wonderful support we’ve gotten from people, a lot of them have come across from the YouTube space, is just absolutely humbling. I’m trying to give it back in any way I can.”
“I like to make rumours amongst the fan base; we’ve made up a bunch of nonsense” -Ash Kabosu
It’s fair to say Lovejoy have been pulled substantially further up the ladder by a deeply devoted fan base, but that’s part of what makes their trajectory so exciting. There hasn’t been a new guitar band that’s had venues bursting at the seams like this for a long time. Just two self-released (on their own label Anvil Cat via AWAL) EPs, debut ‘Are You Alright?’ and follow-up ‘Pebble Brain’ garnered enough love to have fans queuing around the block for hours on end when the live shows finally came. It’s reminiscent of what 5SOS were seeing at the start of their career ten years ago, or that other numbers band.
And the devotion goes both ways, too; Lovejoy play games with the fans, leaving puzzles on social media for the fans to solve, firing confetti with QR codes printed on every other piece out at their London headline show. Their involvement hasn’t gone unnoticed.
“Oh, man, I love them,” Ash gushes. “One of the best feelings for me is when we create something, even if it’s something as simple as a little photo shoot, the response is incredible. And to inspire other people to create through our creativity is just so rewarding. My favourite part of it is seeing the writing, the poetry, the paintings, the drawings, like all the art that comes back to us is incredible.”
Joe adds, “Every single person that I’ve met after a show or before a show, they’re all so respectful and all so lovely. And they’re just so generous.”
Ash continues, “They make such an effort and go out of their way to listen to the support bands’ music and show up for them; they show up on time and fill the place out for everyone. And then they go crazy jumping around and singing to everyone’s music, and that’s just so fucking cool.”
With new EP ‘Wake Up & It’s Over’ on the horizon, it’ll be their first proper release since 2021. A break away from recording to do the touring part of being a new band has led to Lovejoy’s longest writing phase yet and has played a part in shaping the sound of their new material. This time around, being able to take more time to record and more studio options, they’ve fined tuned their sound and brought it closer to their personal ideal.
Aiming for something a little heavier this time, the boys wanted to pull in their individual influences more drastically. For Will, that’s shouty British lyrics and overdriven guitars (he calls Arctic Monkeys the most famous example), with Ash also growing up on the late 2000s indie of Foals and Bombay Bicycle Club. Mark, on the other hand, was introduced to bands like Bring Me The Horizon and Asking Alexandria by his sister at a young age, pushing him into heavier territory when it came to discovering his own tastes and allowing the band to take on the slogan of ‘the only indie band with a double kick drum’. (Joe simply adds, “In the words of Brandon Flowers, it’s indie rock and roll for me.”)
Opening track ‘Portrait of a Blank Slate’ pulls in those influences most brazenly, employing the mathy Foals-y lead guitar, ‘Favourite Worst Nightmare’ era Arctic Monkeys fiddly bass, and wordy vocals a la The Wombats. “I can’t wait to play that for thousands of people,” says Joe.
They’ve been road-testing some of the other tracks too, the poppier (see: jumpier) ‘Consequences’ and ‘Warsaw’, as well as the single ‘Call Me What You Like’, but the rest have been kept a secret, one track particularly well.
Initially beginning the recording of this EP late last year, the boys weren’t 100% satisfied with the tracks. Having already played some of the tracks live, fans developed a particular affinity for one called ‘It’s Golden Hour Somewhere’, and up until the EP drops, have been under the impression it isn’t going to be released.
“I like to make rumours amongst the fan base,” says Ash, “I sort of said yeah, it’s scrapped, we just don’t like it, it’s not up to scratch, it doesn’t fit the nature of the EP, blah, blah, blah. We’ve just made up a bunch of nonsense. And they’ve bought into it. And as I expected, they’re also campaigning to bring it back. We’ve seen signs at shows saying ‘PLAY GOLDEN HOUR’. It’s just a bit of fun, and I think the relief and the excitement they’ll feel on the day that it comes out to just see it in the tracklisting will be worth it. I think for the amount of time that the fans have been waiting, we want it to be as special as possible.”
Even with ‘Call Me What You Like’ landing at No.32 on the UK Top 40 – an enormous feat and a rarity for a new band these days – it’s still what the fans think that means the most to Lovejoy.
“It was very validating to see it go that far,” says Will. “I think that was our longest-ever lyric writing time; we had the tune down for about ten months before I even penned the lyrics that ended up going in the final release. To see that time pay off is amazing, but we had no idea it would get that reception. It’s more important that our fans really love what we’re putting out. We’re aiming to create music that will really connect with our fan base, and you know, we’ll give them back what they’ve given us.”
With formative years that any new band would dream of, a knockout first tour and an audience hungry for more, Lovejoy are keen to maintain the hype. Currently using soundcheck time to write new material, every spare hour is used wisely while they’re on the road, Ash hinting they’ve already got new songs saved up for when they return home. This summer, they’ll be hitting the festival circuit, playing Reading and Leeds for the first time and undoubtedly not the last. The path may not be fully paved yet, but it’s definitely leading somewhere exciting.
Will says, “We’ve felt that wave of energy from the audience singing our words back at us, and that’s really influenced my lyrical style and our music instrumentally, which took a lot longer. 2022 was a sort of foundational year; I feel like this is the launch in 2023 into this next era of Lovejoy.”
#thanks for spending actual money on this one mia lmao#lovejoy#wilbur soot#ash kabosu#mark boardman#joe goldsmith#articles#dork magazine
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it goes around again - nagi s.
chapter 6 of 7 in the blue lock band series. chapter 1. chapter 2. chapter 3. chapter 4. chapter 5. chapter 7.
synopsis: nagi seishiro, the fan favorite of the band, doesn't seem to put in any effort at all. especially when it comes to showing up on time for an early morning photoshoot. but when y/n goes to track him down, he has other things in mind besides getting out of bed.
warnings: smut; multiple orgasms; riding; half asleep; semi-coercion; clit stimulation; fem!reader; submissive!reader; minors DNI.
disclaimer: all songs referenced are credited to THE DEEP END
w.c 2.3k
Leading up to the last few shows of the tour, manager Mikage Reo booked plenty of interviews and photoshoots for the up and coming band. The growth they’ve experienced since bringing y/n onto the official team has been substantial, suddenly reaching wider audiences and being featured on multiple news and radio stations, and offered performance showcases on talk shows. As Reo put it, it’s important that they end the tour with the world wanting more of what Blue Lock has to offer, which will put them in a great position to announce a new tour for next year that will reach even more of an audience.
That means that unfortunately, the band is exhausted. They’ll play a show, be expected to attend an afterparty, and then wake up early for an interview before another show. Today is no different, though it is their last long day before the end of the tour. Reo has planned an early promotional photoshoot for them, which means being prepared for transportation hours before the actual appointment.
“Where the hell is Nagi?” Reo barks, trying to make some final checks before the band members’ hair and makeup appointments.
“I haven’t seen him all morning.” Y/n looks around, following Reo with her clipboard.
“I haven’t heard from him since last night.” Isagi chimes in.
“Same.”
“Yeah, me neither.” The other band members agree. After last night’s afterparty, everyone returned to their rooms and fell asleep, including y/n, who can’t even remember if she saw the band’s backup guitarist at the party at all.
“He’s probably still asleep.” Bachira looks over y/n’s shoulder at her pre-shoot checklist.
“You’re probably right.” Reo sighs, squeezing the bridge of his nose as if to relieve a headache. Nagi Seishiro can be a handful, sometimes he acts like a little kid with how often his manager has to take care of him. “I’ll have to go fi-”
“Don’t worry Reo, I’ll find him.” Y/n volunteers, figuring Reo could use some extra help in a moment like this. He’s always the one who picks up the pieces of the white-haired boy’s laziness, it’s only fair y/n offers to take some of that off his plate. He seems stressed enough anyway.
“You don’t mind?” He asks.
“Nope, not at all.”
“Everything y/n has left here I should be able to take care of in time.” Bachira offers, taking y/n’s clipboard from her.
“Sounds good y/n. Thanks.” Reo smiles, handing her Nagi’s room key. Even in the most stressful moments he maintains his sweet smiles and kindness. He could convince anyone to like him.
“No problem.” She says, hurrying out of the room and whipping out her phone to check on the hotel room Nagi’s staying in. She’s positive he’s only sleeping, all she has to do is wake him up and force him downstairs.
She knocks on his hotel room door, leaning her ear against the door.
Nothing.
She knocks again- but still nothing.
She sighs, unlocking his door herself and letting herself in.
“Nagi?” She calls for him.
His room is still dark, only a small streak of sunlight peeking in from the gap in the curtains.
“Nagi Seishiro?” She calls again, peeking her head around the corner to see him sleeping soundly under some crumpled covers. He doesn’t seem interested in changing that either.
“Hmmm.” She sighs, walking up to the edge of his bed. “Hey.” She taps him on his blanket-covered shoulder.
“Mmm~” He groans, barely responsive to her attempts to wake him.
“Sei.” She uses his nickname, trying to stress the importance of her arrival in his hotel room.
“Reoooo~” He whines, mistaking y/n for his manager. “C’mere.” He groggily reaches toward her, lazily grabbing her shoulders and pulling her forward.
Surprised, she loses her footing, falling forward into the bed, unable to use her arms to block her fall in time.
“Ugh- Nagi-” She groans. “What’s-”
He wraps his arms completely around her waist, holding her close as he rolls around with her trapped against his chest. Suddenly, y/n finds herself as Nagi Seishiro’s little spoon, with his chin resting on her head and his eyes still closed.
“Nagi?” She questions, trying to wriggle out of his tight grip. “It’s not Reo- it’s y/n-” She says, wondering why he’d be trying to spoon Reo in the first place. He must be having a dream or something.
“Seishiro! You gotta get up!” She says again, louder this time. He has a tight grip, that’s for sure. His muscles tense around her, it’s so clear how toned his body is even just from feeling his chest against her back. At the same time, the way he cuddles her is so soft and sweet, despite her being completely unable to escape.
“Mmmm~ no.” He replies in a tired, raspy voice. Y/n feels her cheeks heat up, but she can’t tell if it’s from frustration or arousal from how pretty his sleepy voice sounds. “Missed you last night, wanna have you now.”
“What are you talking about?” Y/n huffs, blowing a loose strand of hair away from her face. She can’t exactly use her hands to move it herself.
“You can take me now right? Just real quick.” The sleepy guitarist rasps.
“No- what? Nagi? It’s y/n. What do you mean?”
“Hm?” He finally flutters open his eyes, breathing in the scent of her hair. “Oh, hi y/n. You’re not Reo huh.”
“Uh, no.” She answers. “Now come on, we gotta go.” She pushes on him again.
“Mmm, can’t right now.” He pulls her tightly against his chest, pressing his crotch into her ass, his morning wood so prominent that she can’t help but feel the heat rise in her cheeks.
“Why not?” She finds herself squeezing her thighs even tighter together, the idea of being this close to Nagi’s hard cock making her start to feel the intensity of the situation. After her situation with Rin, y/n had decided to stop getting in everyone’s pants and focus on her job, so it’s been a good couple months for her. Even though it’s ultimately been better for her focus, she can’t help but find herself easily aroused in a situation like this.
“Didn’t get to fuck Reo last night, so m’horny.” He says casually, too casually.
Y/n can’t even begin to unpack that statement, and she doubts Nagi would be able to explain it to her.
“Look you can fuck Reo later if you want, we got to go.” She says, her voice shaky.
“Can I fuck you?” He asks, sleepily rolling over her. He hovers over her, his half lidded eyes shining in the small bit of light that peeks into the room.
His proposition is so normal, as if he just goes around asking anyone to fuck him like it’s the most casual question in the world. But y/n wonders, as she looks into his eyes, her heart completely stopping under his soft yet intense gaze, if that is how Nagi gets so many girls into his bed, and apparently Reo. She doesn’t know if, in her current state, in his current state, it’s even possible to say no to him.
She nods, unable to force her eyes off of his pretty face. He’s known as the fan favorite of the band- he never says too much but the world goes crazy when he does. Any time Nagi has a solo, the crowd is so hype that Isagi wrote a new song, It Goes Around Again, specifically to show off Nagi’s vocal range. In fact, that’s the song they’re supposed to be doing a photoshoot for today, to promo the song and select one to be the cover for the single when it’s officially released. Therefore, it’s absolutely crucial that Nagi’s there.
But in y/n’s horny haze, she can’t be bothered to care anymore. She’s desperate, she needs something, it’s been too long. She can’t believe that out of all the band members, it’s Nagi she hasn’t gotten to. He’s so damn pretty, such a gorgeous boy.
“Nice.” He answers, dipping his head to meet her awaiting lips. His kiss is so soft and sweet, yet desperately dominant at the same time. He slips his tongue between her lips, holding his body over hers as he explores her mouth.
She completely lets him take the lead, still surprised by his advances at all. Her tongue collides against his, creating a layer of glistening wetness on both of their lips, their saliva mixing against their tongues. He pulls her tongue further into his mouth, clasping his lips around the wet muscle.
She can’t help but moan out as he sucks on her tongue, his teeth grazing her taste buds. He moves to her lips again, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth to suck on that next. It’s messy and wet, his saliva coating her lips and chin as he makes his mark on her.
“Wearing a lil skirt. Cute.” He says, reaching one hand under her skirt to locate her panties.
She finds her breath catching in the back of her throat, lifting her hips to let him slide her soaked panties down her legs. He’s not one to engage in much foreplay, not when he’s selfishly concerned with getting himself off since he so sadly missed out on it last night. And right now, y/n doesn’t care at all about how she’s treated. He could fuck her and refuse to get her off for all she cares, something about Nagi Seishiro makes her want to thank him for even considering her worthy of his cock.
He slides his shorts down too, freeing his bothered cock and gripping it in his hand. He doesn’t even give y/n time to look down and see it before he’s forcing it inside her, shoving his thick shaft between her tight wet lips before her body can process the feeling.
“Wow~” He praises. “So wet. Feels nice.” He grunts, warming his cock inside her pretty pussy. He lets it rest in there, feeling her tighten and pulse around him as he bottoms out completely.
He ruts against her, his body falling on top of hers as he lazily stimulates the base of his cock with her hole.
In almost no time, she feels him filling her, surprising her with a thick load buried into her walls.
“Fuck~” He gasps, quickly pulling his cum-soaked cock out of her filled pussy.
Y/n looks at him, confused. It’s not that it’s bad that he came fast or anything, she just didn’t get to prepare for it to be over.
Lucky for her, he’s far from finished with her perfect little hole. He holds his body upward, gripping his soaked cock and pumping it, riding out his high with the overstimulation of his hand.
“Ah, there we go.” He breathes, his cock hardening once again as he immediately stuffs it back into her.
“Nagi- hmhhh-” She groans, feeling full again as his dick becomes fully erect inside her.
“Don’t worry, will put the next load in that pretty mouth.” He breathes, burying his face into her neck, his hot breaths tickling her sensitive skin.
In a swift motion, y/n suddenly finds herself flipped upright, with Nagi flat on his back below her.
“You can ride, yeah?” He asks selfishly, his lazy, sleepy body too tired to continue his light ruts into her.
“Mhm.” She answers, leaning forward as she desperately grinds her clit onto his fully exposed body.
“Let me- you ride.” He demands, reaching to circle two fingers around her clit so she can focus on slamming her hips onto him.
Her legs burn as she rides him, picking her entire body up just to force it back down on his thick shaft over and over, the room filled with her heavy breathing and moans. Nagi expertly swipes his fingers on her clit, letting her grind on them as he brings her closer to her edge.
“Need it- please Sei-” She begs, slowing down her movements so Nagi can focus on getting her off.
“So selfish~” He chuckles, his fingers moving faster on her clit as she begins to tighten around him, the knot in her stomach threatening to burst.
“Mm~ fuck- I- cumming~” Her orgasm finally overwhelms her, her body shaking as she releases over his already cum-soaked cock.
“Pretty.” Nagi hums, holding her hips as he thrusts upward into her tired body, eager to finish himself off as well. “Getting close.”
Y/n can only whine and moan, letting him pound into her repeatedly as he twitches inside her. “Off now.” He instructs, pulling her nearly limp body off his cock.
She allows her head to fall on top of him, just in time for his second thick load of the morning to shoot down her throat. She ensures she swallows it all, not letting a single drop escape.
With a breathless sigh, Nagi pats her lightly on the head. “Thanks for that.” He says casually, as if she did some sort of simple favor for him.
“Um, yeah.” She wipes her mouth, still blushing. “I understand why you get bitches.” She jokes.
“I understand why you’ve been through the entire band.” He fires back, though he doesn’t even mean it as an insult or a snarky comment. He’s so hard to figure out, that Nagi Seishiro.
She can’t help but laugh. “We really have to get to this photoshoot.”
“Sure, but you’ll come back to fuck me again tonight, yeah?” He asks.
She blushes. “Yeah.” She says, looking at the floor.
“You know I can’t sleep when you’re calling my name.” He hums, quoting the song y/n’s been desperately trying to get him to a photoshoot for.
#blue lock#anime#fanfic#blue lock fanfiction#blue lock smut#bllk smut#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#fanfiction#anime fanfic#anime smut#band au#ao3 fanfic#ao3 writer#nagi seishiro smut#blue lock nagi#nagi seishiro x reader#nagi seishiro#nagi smut#nagi x reader
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One of lando Norris and he is dating pedri sister
I wouldn’t want it any other way
Summary: After going to the Grand Prix in Barcelona with your brothers, a lot of things happen. Meeting your future boyfriend is one of them.
Pedri sister reader x Lando Norris
Note: thank you for your request anon! I tried my best, and accidentally wrote more than I intended to 🤪 I hope you guys enjoy this one and don’t be a silent reader! Love chrzzboo 🫶
Y/N’S POV
It was a very beautiful day in Barcelona I was visiting my older brothers Pedri and Fernando. I normally live with my parents in Tenerife but because I had a break from uni I decided to visit my dear brothers. I always had a special bond with both my brothers especially with Pedri since he’s only a year older than me. I was sat in front of the tv watching some Netflix when Pedri came to me and started talking. “Yo hermana I’ve got three tickets for the Barcelona’s Grand Prix this weekend, do you want to come with me and Fer?”. I looked at him confused, I did know about F1 and even knew a few drivers but didn’t really bother to watch every race so I was confused to why he asked me if he knew that I wasn’t really interested in it. “An F1 race? Since when do you like formula one?”. He looked at me annoyed. "Since they’ve invited me and they were kind enough to send me two extra tickets so you better come. Also mom and dad wouldn’t appreciate me leaving you all alone at home”. I started laughing imagining my parents beating up Pedri and Fer. “Alright I will come with you guys because I know you can’t live without me.” Pedri scoffed. “Now don’t get too confident hermana.” “With you as my brother I could never” I said laughing and pushing him over, running away from him. “Is that how you treat your older brother niñita?” He shouted running after me.
TIME SKIP
It was the day of the Grand Prix, although I didn’t know what to expect I was still very excited. We were currently in the car on the way to the Grand Prix, Pedri was driving and Fer sat next to him and I was sitting in the back. I was jamming to the music in the car when Fer turned to me and started talking.”Listen hermana, Grand Prix’s are often very busy so it’s important that we stick together because that place is way too big and easy to get lost in.” I rolled my eyes at my brother. “Fer are you serious? How old do you think I am? I can perfectly keep up with you guys. And besides that what if I get lost? It’s not like we don’t have phones?” Now it was Fernando’s turn to roll his eyes at me. “It might not be a big deal to you but to us it is. If mama heard that we’ve lost you she would go livid.” “Alright alright I promise I will stay close”. Both my brothers nodded at my words and we continued jamming to the music in the car until we’ve reached our destination.
We arrived a bit later than we were supposed to since it was so busy, Fer wasn’t lying when he said that this place can be very crowded. I was looking around and walking close to my brothers. I didn’t expect this place to be so cool honestly. I might visit these races more often. There are many pros to have an older brother who’s famous but there are also a lot of cons. Like right now, my brother was taking many pictures with people and also doing interviews. I was waiting for him to finish, already getting bored. Fer went to the toilet so I was alone waiting for Pedri. I was just scrolling on my phone when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turn around and frowned at the girl standing in front of me, I’ve never seen her before. “Hey you’re y/n right? Pedri’s little sister?” Ooh now I understood what she wanted. Well you see being the little sister of a pro athlete means that their fans will also know their family. “Hey yeah that’s me!” I replied enthusiastically. I didn’t realise but 10 minutes past, I had a lovely conversation with this girl but she had to leave. Looking around I started panicking since I couldn’t find my brothers anymore. They suddenly disappeared, I grabbed my phone planning on calling them but I cursed under my breath since my phone died. “Shit man, I should’ve brought my power bank.” I took matters in my own hands and started walking around the paddock looking for my brothers.
Like I mentioned before, this place is huge it feels like it’s never ending. Still looking around for my brothers, I wasn’t really paying attention to my surroundings in front of me since I was looking to the left side. That probably wasn’t a good idea because all of a sudden I bumped into a hard chest sending me straight to the ground eating shit. “I’m so sorry miss, are you alright?” Asked a manly voice, I looked at the person and I could see a pretty handsome brunette staring down at me reaching his hand out for me to hold. I grabbed his hand embarrassed by the fall I just made. “I’m alright, I’m so sorry I wasn’t really paying attention.” I told him. He chuckled looking in my eyes, just then I realised that he had very beautiful coloured eyes. “Don’t worry! It was my fault as well I was kinda distracted it wasn’t my intention to send you to the ground.” I laughed at him already liking his attitude. “Well yeah that was kinda embarrassing. But thanks for helping me, I’m looking for my brothers but ended up eating dirt instead.” He laughed at me still looking at me with those beautiful eyes. “Really are you lost?” “Yeah I kinda am, I’ve never been here before. I was waiting for my brothers and in the meantime a girl came up to me and started talking but when we finished our conversation I couldn’t find them anymore.” He looked at me with a confused expression. “You’ve never been here before? In the way of never visited the Barcelona GP or just to a F1 race in general?” I looked at him weird, what has that got to do with me losing my brothers? “Euhm I’ve never been to a F1 race at all, so I’m not really familiar with this.” He looked at me with a relieved expression? “So you don’t know who I’m?” I looked at him confused before answering.”Should I know who you are?” He chuckled at my response. “No don’t worry about it but you said that you’ve lost your brothers right? Have you tried calling them?” “No because my phone died that’s the main reason why I’m looking around here like a kid who’ve lost their parents.” I said with a laugh. He laughed as well. “Well miss if you give me your name I would gladly give you my phone so you can call them.” I forwarded my hand to him introducing myself to the handsome stranger. “I’m y/n, nice to meet you mister?” He took my hand and shook it, introducing himself as well. “Beautiful name for a beautiful girl, it’s nice to meet you my name is Lando.” Ngl that actually made me blush, so I quickly looked away from him but I could hear him slightly chuckle. He handed me his phone so I could call my probably worried brothers.
LANDO’S POV
After giving this beautiful girl my phone I started thinking. How come she doesn’t know me when there are literally pictures of me displayed all over the paddock. But honestly I was kinda relieved since I thought that I had bumped in a crazy fan earlier. Her not knowing who I am gave me the opportunity to kinda mess with her and also to feel like a normal person for once. Those thoughts were quickly interrupted by her giving me my phone back. “Here you go Lando, thank you so much for letting me use your phone I would’ve been doomed if it wasn’t for you! My brothers are at the restaurant at the entrance so I’m going over there.” I smiled at her happy face. “That’s no problem y/n, but do you know we’re the restaurant is because I don’t want you to get lost again.” She laughed at me not taking my words serious. “Don’t worry I remembered where it was located since I could smell the amazing pastries they had there earlier” she adds with an adorable laugh. “Alright pretty girl, hope to see you around.” After bidding her goodbye I couldn’t help but curse at myself for not asking her number or something, but before I could even look for her she was gone.
BACK TO Y/N
I couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed because I actually liked talking to Lando he seemed nice. Shaking those thoughts off I had better things to do and that was to find my brothers and hoping that they wouldn’t be mad at me. Finally reaching the restaurant, I could see my brothers standing near the entrance waiting for me. I called their names and soon both of them came running to me. “Y/n dios mío, we thought we lost you forever for a second.” Was heard from Fer. “Yeah we already started digging our own graves because non of us would’ve had the balls to tell mama.” Pedri says earning a laugh from all of us. “Alright you guys are so dramatic and this time it wasn’t even my fault that I got lost, you guys just disappeared.” Both of them looked at each other with guilty eyes and turned to me with a small smile. “Yeah alright this one was on us, but if you won’t tell mama we will buy you your favourite pastries.” “All of them?” I add with a smirk. Both my brothers rolled their eyes but agreed.
After we watched the race we were headed to the garages of some drivers since Pedri wanted to talk to them. I had to admit I did like watching the race, there was so much happening. The adrenaline, the speed, the loud engines it was just simply addicting. Arriving at the garages both my brothers headed to talk to some drivers but not without warning me to stay close to them and not wander off. I looked around me and noticed that each garage had their own colours. For example Ferrari had red, Mercedes had black and McLaren had orange more like a papaya colour. But wait a second, looking back at the McLaren garage I could see a familiar face. It was that Lando guy from earlier. Shocked I took a few steps closer to look at the poster better. 'Lando Norris driver for McLaren' it stated. So you're meant to tell me that I've talked to one of the drivers earlier? That's actually insane. I quickly returned to my brothers and let those thoughts sink in.
It’s been 10 minutes since my brothers were talking to the drivers with the names Verstappen and Pérez what I’ve learned after standing there for such a long time. I was starting to get thirsty because we’ve walked all day long plus it was so hot in Barcelona today. I looked around me and spotted a vending machine. I tapped Fer on his shoulder to gain his attention, soon he turned to me with a confused face. “I’m thirsty can I walk over there and get a drink from the machine.” Fer looked over to the vending machine seeing that it wasn’t too far and could still see me. “Alright, but only get your drink and come back we wouldn’t want the same events from earlier to happen again.” He added with a stern voice. “Okey sir, don’t worry I will be back in no time.” After getting his permission I started walking to the vending machine, I needed some money so as I was walking I started searching for some change in my purse. Unaware of my surroundings I again bumped into someone. But that’s when I heard the same voice again. “Second time we bumped into each other it’s really destiny at this point.” It was Lando, this time he was dressed in his racing attire still a bit sweaty from the race earlier. “Well it’s nice seeing you again Lando.” He smiled at me before talking again. “You haven’t lost your brothers again have you?” He laughed at me. I groaned at his response. “Listen that only happened once and that wasn’t even my fault. Also my brothers are over there talking to some drivers." I pointed at them so Lando could see them. Lando turned to me a bit shocked. “Wait your brother is Pedri, the football player?” I looked at him amused. “Yeah that’s him.” “Why didn’t you mention that earlier?” He asked still looking at Pedri. “Well mister Norris, you didn’t mention that you were a driver either.” I said with a smirk. He laughed. “You’ve got me there, I guess we both had our secrets.” I smiled agreeing to his words. “Hey y/n listen it was very nice talking to you, I really enjoyed our conversation. But I have to go, do you mind doing me the honour of giving me your phone number?”. I couldn’t believe my ears at first, did he really ask me for my number? Wait let’s get this straight a F1 driver wants my number? Yeah mental. I quickly composed myself so I wouldn’t make a fool out of myself. “Yeah sure give me your phone so I can type it in!” After exchanging our numbers we both separated our ways.
That was 6 months ago, me and Lando have been dating for 2 months now. Ever since we’ve exchanged numbers back then, we had been talking non stop. We would secretly meet up but it ended up with him visiting me most of the time since I still had uni. Our relationship was pretty much a secret, the only people that knew about it were some of his friends on the paddock, his best friend Max and his parents. For me the only people who knew were my parents and best friend. My brothers don’t know, I don’t what to tell them because I know how they would freak out since they’re very protective over me especially Pedri. Pedri can be very dramatic about this, so that’s why I decided to keep it from them but just for now.
I was currently visiting Lando in Monaco since I had a break from uni. I came with him to the paddock to keep him company since he’s been whining all morning long for me to come with him. I have been here for two weeks now I have to leave in two days to return home. I didn’t want to leave actually, I had a great time here in Monaco spending time with my boyfriend. My thoughts were quickly interrupted by a hand on my thigh. “Baby are you alright? You’ve been quiet ever since we woke up today.” I looked at him and could see the concern in his eyes. “Yeah I’m alright amor don’t worry about it.” I tried convincing him but if there was one thing Lando was good at it would be that he could read me like an open book. He scooted closer to me lifting me up slightly and seating me on his lap. He had both his arms secured around my waist and he kissed my shoulder lightly. “Babe you know damn well that I know when you’re lying. Now tell me what’s really going on, I’m your boyfriend I would do anything to make those worries of yours disappear.” He added with a chaste kiss on my cheek. I smiled at him slightly feeling better. “I’m just worried you know. I don’t want to return home tomorrow without you. The long distance has been killing me lately and now that we’ve spent two weeks together really made realise that I don’t want to be apart from you.” He looked at me with sad eyes. “I know love, I had an amazing time with you and I’m also not ready to let it go. But we’ve talked about this remember? You’re almost done with uni and then we can finally live together.” His words made me happier but there was still one thing that was bothering me. “You’re right but we still haven’t told my brothers, it just feels like I have a huge weight on my shoulders. I love them but I’m scared that they wouldn’t approve of our relationship.” Lando was quiet for a few seconds before speaking again. “Babe listen what if I came with you back home. You told me that your brothers will be there as well. We can’t keep postponing this. Think about it, it’s not fair towards your brothers as well you know.” He was right, I couldn’t keep this secret from them any longer. I want to be able to go out with Lando freely without having to worry about anything. I looked at him. “You’re right babe, we should do it.” Lando was so happy to hear that, he jumped up nearly dropping me to the ground but he quickly caught me. “Babe that’s amazing, I will sort out a private jet immediately. You just have to call your parents and let them know." He grabbed my face with his large hands and kissed me passionately. I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss excited but also nervous about telling the news to my brothers.
Me and Lando were currently seated in his private jet. I was so nervous, probably more nervous than Lando. I kept bouncing my leg up and down from the stress but Lando noticed it and held my thigh in place. “Babe calm down, you’re more nervous than me.” He said laughing and pecking my nose. “I’m sorry amor I can’t help it, I just hope my brothers won’t make a drama out of it especially Pedri.” I said looking down sadly imagining the worst scenario to happen. Lando tilted my chin with his fingers so I could look at him. “Hey hey baby don’t talk like that. Everything will go well alright? I know it’s a tough situation but your brothers only want to protect you but regardless of what happens today we both know that our love is stronger than anything else right?” His words made me feel lighter and so much better but I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Why are you laughing babe?” Lando looked at me confused especially after his little speech. I pecked his nose before answering. “Your words were beautiful babe but I would’ve never expected the Lando Norris to become such a sap for me.” I said laughing. Lando started whining. “C’mon babe way to ruin my perfect speech, now I’m cringing from myself.” He said hiding his face in my neck. “Alright I’m sorry my big baby I appreciate everything you do for me.” I said kissing him meaning everything I just said. “Look at who’s the sap now.” “Lando shut up before I wipe that smirk of your face.” Lando didn’t stop there. “And what if I don’t.” He said with a smirk. “Alright then you can pleasure yourself alone then tonight.” I said closing my eyes ready to take a nap leaving a whining Lando next to me.
We just landed not too long ago, me and Lando were currently sitting in the uber on the way to my parents house. The entire car journey I couldn’t help but overthink but Lando was quick to reassure me. We arrived and took our luggage out of the car and thanked the driver. This was it, this was the moment that could determine the rest of my relationship. Lando sensed my uneasiness and took my hand in his hand and gave it a light squeeze as a sign of reassurance. I rung the bell and soon my parents opened the door. “Hola hija mía, te extrañé mucho.” (Hello my daughter, I’ve missed you so much.)Was heard from my mother before she pulled me into a hug. “Mama I was only gone for two weeks.” I laughed at her dramatic antics. Soon both my parents greeted Lando. They had met him before and they were fond of him, treating him like their own son. That’s what I loved about it. Soon we made our way to my room, placing our luggage down. We both got refreshed and headed downstairs for dinner. Me and Lando sat down next to each other when I couldn’t help but ask my mother about my brothers. “Mama, where are Fer and Pedri? Weren’t they supposed to be here?” My mother turned to me and answered me. “I sent them out to get some stuff so they will be here soon." Not even 20 seconds later we could hear the bell. This was it, this was the moment I was dreading for so long. Lando sensed that I was nervous so he rubbed my thigh softly as reassurance. Soon I could hear the loud voices of my brothers coming closer. I stood up from my seat and so did Lando. “Hola Fer y Pedri, how are you guys?” I asked hugging them both. “Hola hermana we’re doing good.” Was heard from Pedri but before they could talk further I started talking. “I would like you guys to meet my boyfriend Lando.” They both fell silent for a bit before pushing me aside and going over to my boyfriend. The next thing really caught me off guard and so did it to my parents. “Dios mío, you’re Lando Norris!” “Fer our sister is dating a F1 driver!” Wait a second both my brothers were fangirling over my boyfriend? Is this what I was scared for all this time?. “Y/n why haven’t you told us that you were dating Lando Norris.” Before I could reply Fer interrupted me again. “Never mind I don’t even care anymore, Lando do you have any paddock passes for your next race for us?” “Can we have a test drive in your car once?” My boyfriend stood there not knowing what was going on. “Dios mío, leave the poor guy alone. He’s here as your sister’s boyfriend and not as the race driver. Now both of you sit down." They immediately listened to my mother’s words. It was safe to say that my brothers wouldn’t stop bothering my boyfriend with their silly questions but I couldn’t help but be happier since they’ve approved of our relationship.
Later in the evening, me and Lando were sitting together cuddled up on the coach enjoying each other’s presence. “You know I was actually surprised by your brothers’s reactions.” Lando said laughing. “Yeah you’re not alone I’ve never seen them react like that.” I said laughing. “But regardless of that I couldn’t be happier about it.” Lando smiles pecking my temple. “I told you everything will fall into place.” I smiled at him, both leaning in for a kiss but before our lips could even touch a pillow hit our faces. “You might be Lando Norris but I still don’t want any PDA in front of me.” “PEDRO ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” Before I could even hit that idiot back he was already gone leaving my boyfriend laughing his butt off at what just happened. Looking around me I realised one thing: I wouldn’t want it any other way.
The end.
#lando norris x reader#lando imagine#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagine#lando norris insta au#lando x reader#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fluff#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 x female reader#lando fluff
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Special Delivery for the Birthday Boy
Summary: You enlist Phoenix’s help to surprise your husband on his birthday. You’d been living on opposite coasts since he’d been called back to Top Gun and you were ready to reunite with him just in time to celebrate his birthday. An added bonus is you also get to surprise the rest of the Daggers who have no clue that Bradley is married.
Word Count: 3.9K
Pairings: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Female! Reader
Warnings: Fluff, mentions of birthday sex but no actual smut, mentions of pregnancy.
A/N: I do not own TGM characters, I DO NOT give permission to anyone to repost, copy or translate my work to any other platform or website. Don’t steal my work... it’s not cool. AS always thank you to @waywardodysseys and @beyondthesefourwalls for letting me bounce ideas off them and encouraging me!! Reblogs and comments always appreciated!
Masterlist
Side note: Meant to get this posted yesterday but wanted to redo a few things on it...still not 100% sure I love how it turned out but...here you go!
YOU: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! I LOVE YOU! I’ll be in interviews all day but I’ll FaceTime you tonight. Fly Safe! 💋
HUBBY: Thank you, Dove. I miss you so much 🙁 Wish you were here. Love you 💗
“Are you sure he doesn’t know I’m coming?” You asked, putting your suitcase into the back and climbing into the passenger seat. “Thanks again for coming to get me!”
“Y/N, I promise, he’s absolutely clueless.” Phoenix assured you, smiling. “He’s been moping around all day because he can’t get a hold of you. And you’re welcome! I can’t wait to see his face!”
“I can’t wait to see his face either… I miss that face.” You said, leaning back in the seat. “I’ll be so happy when we’re living on the same damn coast again.”
“When will that be?” She asked, merging into the traffic leaving the San Diego International Airport. “Rooster mentioned you had some loose ends to tie up out East.”
“That’s part of his birthday present.” You said beaming, “I actually just accepted a teaching position for the fall. I had an interview over Zoom yesterday. Bradley thinks I’m in interviews all day today.”
“Y/N that’s awesome!” Phoenix exclaimed, “He’ll be so damn excited.”
“I’m excited.” You laughed, “I’ve had enough of being across the country from my husband. Especially after the last mission. How are things really going with him and Maverick?”
“Honestly?” She said, “Much better than when we got back to Top Gun. They’ve talked and are actively trying. It’s been really good for Rooster.”
“Good.” You replied, “I’ve been trying to get him to reach out for a few years. He just wasn’t ready. I’m glad he got this chance. It’ll be interesting to meet the man.”
“He’s a good guy.” She said, “Bob and I are the only ones that know about you, by the way.”
“I figured.” You laughed. “I’m kind of looking forward to that bombshell being dropped too. From everything I’ve heard about everyone, the reactions should be priceless. I’m especially looking forward to Hangman’s reaction.”
“Oh, this will be absolutely priceless.” Phoenix laughed, “For as much shit as he gives Rooster for never hitting on women at the Hard Deck and not having any game… he’s going to have to eat his words. He’ll most likely hit on you though if he meets you before knowing you’re married to Rooster.”
“Are things better between them though?” You asked, “I know Hangman wasn’t Bradley’s favorite person… and they’ve butted heads in the past. When it counted though, that man came through for my husband and it’s a debt I’ll never be able to repay.”
“They’ve formed a tentative friendship.” She said, “It’s new… but there is a strong mutual respect between them. They’ve flown better together in training since the mission…have become a pretty damn good team actually.”
“It makes me feel better knowing he’s got the best pilots in the Navy flying with him.” You said, “I always felt safer when I knew he was deployed with you.”
“Just because you know I’ll keep his ass out of trouble.” She laughed. “I get it though. You have to trust your wingman. This last mission showed us that we can really all trust one another to come through for each other.”
She pulled into the driveway of her apartment complex parking her car and the two of you got out. You grabbed your suitcase from the back and followed her up to her apartment.
“Ok I just need like a half hour to shower and get ready!” You said, “Then I’ll be ready to go!”
“Take your time.” She laughed, “I’ll grab a towel for you. While you shower, I’ll text the group. Jake is actually in charge of getting Bradley to the Hard Deck for birthday drinks.”
You opened your suitcase, pulling out a sundress you’d left on top for easy access. It was one of Bradley’s favorites on you so you made sure to pack it. You grabbed the strapless bra and matching lace panties you’d bought to wear with the dress and headed to the shower. You tied your hair up so it wouldn’t get wet and quickly jumped into the shower.
True to your word, thirty minutes later you were dressed and ready to go. You’d left your hair down, opted for light makeup and only wore a necklace Bradley had given you for your anniversary (a Dove pendant on a dainty silver chain). You slipped your feet into wedge sandals and grabbed your purse and the small gift bag with Bradley’s other birthday present in it and headed out to the living room where Phoenix was waiting.
“Ready!” You said, excited to finally be headed out to see your husband.
“Jake said he’s having a hard time getting Rooster to go to the bar. He asked him after work and he said he was just going to go home.” Phoenix said. “I can drop you off at the Hard Deck then go to the house and drag his ass out. He’ll listen to me.”
“Hold on.” You said, “He’s probably waiting for me to FaceTime him and doesn't want to miss that call… SHIT! He’ll recognize your apartment…. Ok…. no problem.. I’ve got this.”
You brought your husband’s name up on your phone, hitting the call button.
“Baby you said FaceTime.” Bradley complained, answering the phone on the second ring. “Where’s your beautiful face?”
“I know, Sweetie,” You replied, sighing, “I promise I’ll FaceTime you later tonight. I messed up the time difference and I got a call from another school to interview with. I just really want to find a job out there so I can get to you. How about you go get a birthday drink with Nix and then by the time you get home I’ll be free and we can FaceTime.”
“It’s OK, Dove.” He said, “Good luck in the interview, Baby. They’ll all want you and you’ll have your pick of jobs. I just miss you so damn much. I want to be able to come home to you at night. I love you.”
“I love you too, Bradley.” You said, your heart breaking at how sad he sounded, even knowing you were about to make him so happy. “I’ll be home there with you before you even know it and you’ll be coming home to me every single night. Promise you’ll go get a drink with your friends? Celebrate your birthday?”
“I promise.” He said, “I’ll talk to you later, Baby. Good Luck.”
“Thank you, Sweetie.” You replied, “I love you so so much.”
“Love you too.” He replied.
After hanging up you had Phoenix text the group chat again to let everyone know that drinks were happening at the Hard Deck in thirty minutes for Bradshaw’s birthday. Then she texted Bradley and let him know she wasn’t taking ‘No’ for an answer.
PHOENIX: Bradshaw, your ass better be at the Hard Deck in 30 minutes or I’ll be at your house to drag your ass out myself. 😡
ROOSTER: My wife already texted you? Lol 😂 I’m changing out of my flight suit now. Be there in 30.
“Alright, he’s changing now!” Phoenix said, smiling, “Let’s get you to your husband!”
You pulled your suitcase back down to her car, throwing it into the back again to be transferred to your husband’s Bronco once you were at the Hard Deck. Knowing you were going to be seeing him in 30 minutes caused excitement to flood your system. You’d been married for three years, together for five and gone through much longer deployments and separations that the one you’d just been through, but never before had he flown such a dangerous mission where it had been pretty much assumed someone wasn’t coming home.
“Not long now!” Phoenix said, smiling over at you, knowing where your head was going. “An added bonus to this new assignment is the deployments won’t be as often or as long. We will actually be getting to do more instructing of the new classes of Top Gun students in between missions. You won’t have to worry about long separations anymore.”
“I’ve done ok as long as I didn’t let myself think about it too much.” You said, “The minute I let myself think about how close he came to not coming home… I lose it.”
“You’ll feel much better once you see him and have him back in your arms.” She promised, “I know he’ll feel better once he’s got you in his arms too.”
“You’re right.” You said. “Just need him in my arms.”
She pulled into the parking lot of the bar a short time later and you made your way inside.
“Looks like everyone except Rooster is here.” Phoenix said, spotting everyone in their regular corner of the bar when they walked in. “Let’s go grab drinks from the bar and kill time until he gets here. I want him to be the one to introduce you.”
You followed her to the bar, sitting in one of the free seats.
“Hey, Phoenix.” Penny said, coming over, “What can I get for you two?”
“Hey, Penny.” She replied, “I’ll take a beer, Y/N?”
“Just a Ginger Ale or Sprite if you have it?” You asked, smiling. “I’m going to be DD tonight for my husband.”
“One of these aviators belong to you?” Penny asked, grabbing the beer for Phoenix and filling a glass with ice and pouring the amber soda for you.
“He’s not here yet.” You replied, smiling. “But yeah, I have to take claim for an aviator.”
“Penny, do you know if Mav is coming tonight?” Phoenix asked, winking at you. “Figured he might pop in for Rooster’s birthday.”
“I think he said he’s stopping in.” She replied, “I’m so glad those two are finally talking!”
“You and me both!” Phoenix replied, taking a drink of her beer.
“Phoenix, why are you sitting over here keeping your beautiful friend here from joining us?” A smooth voice sounded behind you both. You turned and smirked, knowing exactly who was standing behind you.
“Bagman, you’re not allowed to harass my friend.” Phoenix said, rolling her eyes. “She is definitely not your type.”
“I’m Hangman.” He said, flashing a megawatt smile, complete with dimples. You were sure that smile landed him plenty of ladies. You had to bite back a laugh when you glanced over at Phoenix who was rolling her eyes. “Or Jake, whichever you prefer.”
“I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, Hangman.” You replied, glancing behind him as the door opened and a very familiar mustached aviator walked in wearing one of his million Hawaiian shirts. Thankfully he hadn’t seen you yet so you still had the element of surprise. “Phoenix is right though, you’re not my type. I only give my heart to 6 '1”, brown eyed,curly haired, aviators with mustaches and a penchant for Hawaiian shirts.”
“Oddly specific…” He said, confused, but turning to see where your eyes had landed. You hopped off the seat and moved past him, straight into Bradley’s line of sight.
“Lieutenant Bradshaw!” You called, catching his attention. His head shot up, his eyes locking in on you immediately, a shocked smile stretching across his face. “Surprise, Baby! Happy Birthday!”
“Dove!” He exclaimed, finally snapping out of his shock. He closed the distance between you two quickly, meeting him in the middle, and scooped you up into his arms. Your legs wrapped around him so he was holding you koala style, your lips locking against his own in a passionate kiss, neither of you caring that you were standing in the middle of a crowded bar. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so damn much, Y/N. I can’t believe you’re really here!”
“Forgive me for not FaceTiming now?” You asked, laughing “I was at Phoenix’s apartment when I called.”
“You’re a little minx.” He laughed. “I forgive you baby.”
“Bradshaw!” Jake said, “Care you’ve got some explaining to do.”
“Give me a minute, Hangman.” Bradley replied, setting you down, but not letting you go. “I haven’t seen my wife in a couple of months. Let me say ‘hello’.”
“WIFE?” Jake exclaimed, “Phoenix, you know about this?”
“Yup.” She smirked, leading Jake away from you and Bradley. “Give them a minute. They’ll join us shortly.”
You were still wrapped in Bradley’s arms and you finally felt like you were home.
“I can’t believe you’re really here, Dove.” He said, resting his forehead against your own. “You look so beautiful, Baby.”
“I’m really here, my love.” You promised, kissing him softly. “It’s so good to see your face and kiss you and to be in your arms. I love you so much. From now on, I will go where you go whenever humanly possible.”
“I love you too, Beautiful.” He replied, “I’m hoping this will be our permanent home base. How close are we to being a one coast family?”
“Actually, how likely is it that you can get leave to help me pack up our Virginia house?” You asked.
“Pretty likely.” He smiled, “Do you have a timeline?”
“Whenever you’re ready.” You said, “I accepted a job out here for the fall, officially resigned at the district in Virginia Beach and cleared out my classroom two days ago.”
“FUCK YES!” He exclaimed, picking you up and swinging you around, “I’ll put in for leave tomorrow. As soon as it’s granted we’ll book a flight back and pack it all up and list the house.”
“Bradshaws!” Jake yelled, “Join the party!”
“We’re being paged.” You laughed, “Come on, Baby. Introduce me to your friends.”
You and Bradley walked over to the corner where everyone had congregated and introductions were made.
“Everyone, this is my wife Y/N.” Bradley said, happy to finally get to introduce you to everyone, “Baby, this is the squad. You’ve met Hangman. That’s Payback, Fanboy, Coyote, and you already know Bob.”
“Hey Y/N” Bob said, coming over to hug you, “It’s good to see you again!”
“Hi, Bob!” You replied smiling, hugging him back, “It’s so good to see you too!” Then looking at the rest of the group you smiled and said, “It’s so nice to finally meet you all. Bradley’s told me all about you guys.”
“Wait a damn minute!” Jake said, turning to glare and Bradley, “Phoenix and Bob BOTH knew you had a wife? What the HELL, Rooster? I saved your life and I don’t get to be in the cool kids club knowing you have a WIFE? I thought we were friends, man.”
“Jake…”Bradley said, unsure what to say, “Come on man, it’s not like that…we are friends…”
You look over at Jake who’s doing all that he can to not smile, enjoying the fact that Bradley has no idea what to say.
“Baby, he’s playing you.” You told your husband, winking at Jake. “Jake, stop bullying my husband. It’s his birthday. Play nicely and you come over for home cooked meals.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” He replied, smiling, “Sorry, Rooster. Couldn’t resist. Congrats on the beautiful wife. She’s a firecracker. Definitely keep her.”
“I plan on it, Hangman.” Bradley said, shaking his head at the blonde aviator.
The night continues with the group playing pool, swapping stories, drinking and you filling them in on how you and Bradley met and ended up married. Eventually, Phoenix made her way to the Jukebox and pulled the plug, silencing the music, causing your husband to chuckle. There was a mixed reaction from the bar to the music being cut. Some booed, upset that whatever had been playing was cut off mid song, the rest cheered, clearly knowing something was about to happen.
“That’s my cue, Baby.” Bradley said, tapping your leg to signal he needed up. You stood up to let him get off the chair, but before you could sit back down, he grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him to an upright piano.
“They clearly know your party trick.” You teased, “Come on birthday boy, serenade your fans.” Bradley sat down on the bench, pulling you down next to him. His fingers moved over the keys, playing a random melody before launching into the familiar intro chords to Great Balls of Fire. You knew he could play a million other songs, but this one in particular held the most meaning to him as it was the one his dad had played and sang when he was little before he died.
You could tell Bradley had done this before here because everyone crowded around and were singing along with him while he played. You joined in, belting out the song alongside your husband. KISS ME BABY.. (you leaned in to kiss him quickly) OOOOO THAT FEELS GOOD, HOLD ME BABY….. WELL, I’LL STILL HOLD YOU LIKE A LOVER SHOULD….. YOU’RE FINE…. SO KIND… I GOT TO TELL THIS WORLD THAT YOU’RE MINE MINE MINE MINE!
When the song finished the bar erupted into loud cheers and chants yelling “ROOSTER”. You loved seeing your husband in his element like this. You quickly took advantage of being in front of the piano and scooted your husbands fingers off the keys, replacing them with your own and started to play Happy Birthday. You were happy when everyone around you immediately joined in and soon the entire bar was signing to your husband.
“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy BIRTHDAY dear ROOSTER, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”
“Make a wish, Baby”! You said, turning towards him.
“All my wishes have come true.” He replied, leaning in to kiss you.
“Hey Rooster,” Phoenix said, gently, not wanting to interrupt the moment. “Mav’s at the bar.”
“Ready to meet my Godfather?” He asked you.
“Definitely ready.” You replied. “Then I’ve got the rest of your birthday present.”
“Baby!” He exclaimed, “You’re here, you’re MOVING here, YOU are my present.”
“Ok, well, there’s more.” You shrugged laughing. “Introduce me to Mav.”
Bradley took your hand and led you to the bar where Mav was sitting sipping a beer. He looked up as you both approached and smiled, standing up.
“Happy Birthday, Kid.” Mav said, hugging Bradley tightly.
“Thanks, Mav.” He replied, hugging him back. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”
You stepped closer, smiling softly. You were nervous to meet the man that meant so much to Bradley and who had been like a father to him growing up before everything had exploded. You wanted to help your husband to build that relationship back up, knowing how important it was to have family. Your own parents adored Bradley and had immediately welcomed him into the family when you’d brought him home the first time.
“This is my wife, Y/N.” He said, his arm around your waist, “Baby, this Mav. He helped my mom raise me after my dad died.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.” Mav said, his voice thick with emotion.
“It’s great to finally meet you too.” You replied, smiling, stepping forward to pull him into a hug. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
“For the record, Y/N’s been trying to get me to reach out for a couple of years now.” Bradley admitted. “I’m just bullheaded.”
“At least he admits it.” You laughed. “We’d love to have you over for dinner though, Mav. I’d really love to get to know you.”
“I would love that, Y/N.” He replied, “I’d love to get to know the one making my Godson so happy.”
“He’s easy to love.” You said, looking over your shoulder at your husband. “He makes me pretty damn happy too.”
“I think I’m going to steal my wife now and take her home.” Bradley said, “She just flew in today and is still on East Coast time.”
“Sounds good.” Mav said, “Enjoy the rest of your birthday, Kid. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” He replied, smiling, “See you tomorrow.”
After saying goodbye to the rest of the squad, you were finally able to escape out to the Bronco. Phoenix had already transferred your suitcase while you were inside.
“Do you need me to drive?” You asked, you hadn’t kept track of your husband’s drinks tonight.
“Nope. I’m good.” He said, smiling, opening the passenger door for you,“Only had 2 beers earlier, nothing since. Hop in, Dove.”
You leaned back in the seat, enjoying the air coming in from the open windows as Bradley drove you both home. He had found an apartment not far from base that did short term leases when he’d come back to San Diego for the mission. Now that you knew it would be permanent the two of you could start to look for a house together. You made a mental note to start looking at listings tomorrow while he was at work.
The apartment wasn’t too far from The Hard Deck either, so before long, Bradley was pulling the Bronco into the parking space and shutting it off. He came around to open your door for you before pulling your suitcase from the back of the Bronco.
“Ready to see our temporary home in person?” He asked
“More than ready.” You said, “Especially the bed… I really wanna see the bed.”
“I can’t wait to get you into bed either, Baby.” He smirked, “Birthday sex is the best.”
“Lead the way, Stud.” You winked, “I still have another birthday surprise for you.”
“Is it under your dress?” He asked, taking your hand and leading you to the front door, unlocking it and ushering you inside.
“It is…” You replied, “But I need something from my suitcase first.” You unzipped the suitcase and pulled out the small gift bag inside before handing it to Bradley. “Happy Birthday, Baby.”
He smiled, reaching to take the bag, leaning down to kiss you as he did, “Thank you, Dove.”
He opened the bag, taking out the tissue paper, and pulling out two onesies. Holding them up, you could see the moment it registered in his head what he was looking at. His eyes filled with tears as he read each one.
“Future Aviator, just like my Daddy,” He read, before holding up the other one to read, “Daddy’s Wingman”
He looked up at you, “Baby, you’re….we’re…really?” He was too choked up to get the words out. You smiled, tears of your own spilling over and running down your cheeks.
“Yes” You whispered, unable to get your own voice to work. He carefully set the onesies in the bag and pulled you into his arms, your own going around his neck. His lips connected with yours in a deep kiss, desperate to convey all of his love and feelings to you in that moment.
“We’re having a baby.” He whispered, when you’d both pulled back to breathe. “How far along?”
“I just hit 11 weeks.” You said, then reached for your purse to pull out the sonogram photo you had safely tucked inside, “And actually… let’s go sit on the couch and I’ll show you the sonogram…”
He took your hand leading you to the couch, sitting down with you tucked into his side. You handed him the envelope with the copies of the sonogram from the doctor. He carefully opened it up, pulling them out to look.
“Dove…” He said, shock once again covering his face “Are you serious right now?”
“Surprise!” You chuckled, “Turns out you're top 1% in more than just flying, Baby.”
“We’re having twins.” He smiled, looking at the sonogram, “I’m gonna be a daddy.”
“You’re gonna be the best daddy.” You confirmed, “Happy Birthday, Bradley.”
“This has been the best birthday ever, Dove.” He replied, leaning over to kiss you. “Thank you for making all of my wishes come true.”
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Three weeks into the latest depressive episode
A magazine calls - they want me on the cover
I tell them they’ve made a mistake
I tell them the only reason I picked up
Was for the sticky ‘ew’ feeling
Of answering a phone call
In this day and age
I tell them I haven’t showered
And all I’ve eaten today
Is a pack of six bake-at-home cinnamon buns
And I feel a bit sick
He tells me
I work for ‘Not Okay’ Magazine
And we don’t make mistakes
Well, okay, we do
Often
But most of the time they’re sexy mistakes.
We both know he’s lying,
But I agree out of exhaustion.
They send a photographer to my flat
We agree on a series of tasteful nudes
With unwashed laundry
And mouldy mugs
In all the right places.
They ooze attitude
They also ooze literal ‘ooze’
Because of the, y’know, mould.
I list my nearest and dearest
So they can ask for quotes.
The one they print reads:
“I wouldn’t really call us friends
I haven’t heard from them
In years
I assumed they were mad at me.”
We chat in my living room
Over a single measuring jug filled
With expired instant coffee
The interviewer breathes in a waft
Of bovril-smelling caffeine slurry
And wipes the awe from his eyes
Then says:
“A few years ago
No-one knew you
You were medium sad
The human equivalent of a drive-thru restaurant
Bad, sure, but everyone knew what they were getting.
You were … a C minus.
But now?
You’re a landmark
A national trust ruin
They may as well tattoo ‘This is not a place of honour’
On the small of your back.
My doctor heard I was interviewing you
And referred me for therapy
As a precaution.
So let me ask the question on everyone’s lips?
What’s your secret?”
“What a great question.”
I say, wrestling the coffee
From his hands
Because I deserve it
“It takes a lot of practice.
You’ve just got to make time
To remap your synapses
I try to fit in one life-changingly bad event a year
To really forge new wide-ranging roads
Through my internal atlas
Away from those depots of cloying serotonin
I know I don’t deserve.
Y’know, something really verve-destroying.
I’ve careened across the map
Wheels burning into redundancy town
Double-parking at heartbreak hotel
(did you know you could fail a break-up?)
Getting a ticket on bereavement boulevard
A hit-and-run through jury service-ville
(leaving my faith in humanity behind)
And of course
Pandemic City was a blessing
for all us sad-sacks
But an extra spicy affair if you worked in healthcare
Finally, I crashed the metaphor into a river
On the coldest night on record
But it was pretty shallow
And I think the cold probably helped
Shock me out of it.
Plus, I made it home with my trousers only partially frozen.
We are creatures of habit, Michael
Can I call you Michael?”
(He quickly corrects me
- Michael is not his name -
“I didn’t ask you what your fucking name was
I asked if I could call you Michael”
He says yes)
“Like I said - creatures of habit
If you *practice*
If you really dig your feet in
If you cut a wide furrow through the mud
Some part of you will start to think
Of the hole you burrowed in the dirt
As home.
Your highest landmarks
Are distant skyline and
To visit would feel like trespassing.”
At the end of the interview
I ask Michael
If he’s sure I’m qualified
To be a coverperson
After all
There are so many people
More ‘not okay’ than me
Or who have more reason to be
Yet remain seemingly functional.
“That’s the beauty of Not Okay magazine,”
he says, with a smile like marshmallow
“We don’t judge or rank.
We ask for one thing:
That today you are not okay.
In its own way, every sadness is interesting
Even when it feels boring as the road you grew up on
Tomorrow you might even be happy
That’s okay too.
Tomorrow is an impossibility of sunrises.
Today - you are seen.”
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Vaincre
Details and full fic on Ao3
~
April Part Two
~
Oh, this is gonna be a big one, isn’t it, Lee?
Sure is. We’ve got—well, I’ll say a complete top line. Black and O’Hara tearing it up as usual, but we’ll be missing sorely someone who’ll be across the ice this time, eh?
That’s right, Logan Tremblay—oh, there he is now. Skating out in blue.
“Your New York Rangers…” came the drawn out roar around Madison Square Garden.
Remus shifted back and forth on his skates. He could already feel the coolness of the ice from down the tunnel. He could feel Sirius behind him, doing the same thing.
“All right, boys, big game,” Thomas’ voice came from somewhere closer to the front of the line. “Big game, big game!”
Coach Weasley confessed in his pre-game interview that Winter was supposed to start tonight in net, but it’ll be Knut instead. He didn’t go into details, but it’s not a secret that Winter’s been battling injuries for quite a few seasons now.
It’s true, Dean. But Knut has been proving himself over and over again. We’ve heard from his teammates how important he is in the room, also how hard he is on himself after a loss. Tell me, Dean, we see this a lot from net minders. We see the way they place weight on themselves—Kasey Winter, too. Do you think that’s something Knut will have to manage down the line?
You know, Lee, I think he’s a kid. He’s so young—so much of the Lions team is so young—hell, their Captain is so young. I think its in their nature to be hard on themselves, they’ve all been working for this life for a long time. That isn’t to say I don’t think you can be too hard on yourself. And that’s tricky territory, especially given the fact that—now, I don’t want to say this, I really don’t—but given the fact that Knut could be looking at the starting spot soon.
Oh, yeah.
Madison Square Garden booed when they skated out, and the rattle of Sergei knocking the pile of pucks down off the boards for warm-ups was drowned out. Remus gathered one for himself, pushing hard around the back of the goal before tucking it neatly into the upper crossed corner of the still empty net. The music boomed, some lyric-less bass-heavy beat that Remus could tune right out. He didn’t look across the ice, to the blur of blue jerseys just at the corner of his vision. Sirius stayed at his heels, pulling to a hard stop just beside him.
“Seventy-one,” he said. “I didn’t think about the number.”
“What?” Remus asked, looking up at him. Sirius only nodded across the ice, and Remus took a breath, and then looked. He found Logan almost immediately, TREMBLAY in white across his shoulders rather than black, and, below—
Remus frowned, before realizing. Artemi Panarin already wore ten. Now, Logan wore 71 on his back.
“Leo’s 1, Harz’s backwards,” Sirius said, and then turned to smile at Remus, tapped a glove over where his necklace rested. “Guess you’re not the only one who likes to play with numbers.”
“Weird, huh?” Leo said as he skated up beside them, mask propped on top of his head. He jerked his chin across the ice. “He’s always been ten. In school and everything. Ask Finn.”
“Really weird,” Remus said, and Sirius gave him a loving nudge before skating off for his routine, Leo towards the goal. Remus headed for his usual spot in one of the corners, where he bounced a puck off the boards a few times, but at the last second, he changed directions. If he couldn’t change his routine, he didn’t like that. He took a long, slow breath and thought of earlier that morning, Sirius’ warm arms locked around him. He thought of how well Sirius knew him. How thoroughly. He tried to keep that thought playing through his mind, willed it to be louder than the music, than the chorus of winwinwin in his head.
Remus skated to the bench instead, lightly checking into Finn, who resolutely had his back to the ice.
“How’s he look?” Finn asked, squirting water into his mouth.
Remus glanced over Finn’s shoulder, only to see Alex skating up to them, coming to hard stop that sprayed Finn’s lower body with ice.
“Ugh,” Finn said and squeezed the water bottle at his brother’s chest, squirting the front of his jersey. Remus just laughed, knowing that the cameras were catching this for sure.
“Hi, baby brother,” Alex said, throwing an arm around his neck. “So glad you’re here. Ready to get your ass kicked, bud?”
“You wouldn’t kick my ass,” Finn said, and pointed to the top of the stands where the Rangers’ team box was. “Not while Mom and Dad are watching. We both know only I could ever get away with that.”
Alex just grinned and sent a wink to Remus. “He wishes. Hey.” He knocked his and Finn’s visors together. “Gotta tell you something.”
“No,” Finn pretended to put his gloves over his ears. “La-la-la, I don’t know what you’re gonna do but I’m not falling for it.”
“No, really.”
“La-la-la—”
Alex slapped at the side of his head. “It’s about Tremz.”
Finn lowered his hands, still looking suspicious. “What?”
“Don’t mind if Sir Lupin hears?”
“Oh, believe me,” Finn said, sending an identical grin to Remus. “Loops has heard it all. What, you weirdo, spit it out.”
Alex raised his glove near his mouth for privacy in case any cameras were on them, but he was still smiling—Remus actually thought his eyes looked a little bright. “In the locker room yesterday, Saint was talking about some book series and Lo just basically goes—” Alex gave Finn’s shoulders a little happy shake. “Oh, yeah, my boyfriend loves those.”
Remus’ heart squeezed as he saw Finn’s eyes go a little unfocused on the ice. He set the water bottle down on the boards, swallowed, and closed his eyes, like some final part of him surrendered to the belief that it was real. That this was real. Remus remembered that feeling well.
“Yeah?” Finn breathed.
“Yeah,” Alex said, softer this time. “Yeah.” He smiled, pushed Finn’s helmet down over his eyes, and skated a few strides backwards towards his own side of the ice. Finn pushed his helmet back up and watched him go.
“You fucking crying, Al?” Finn laughed, but he sounded choked up himself.
“Yes!” Alex called. “Love ya!”
Looks like the O’Hara brothers already have their competitive streak up and ready. As usual. Hey, what a treat it’d be to see those two play together on an Olympic team or something, eh, Dean?
Finn cleared his throat. Remus saw him finally look for Logan, saw him find him on the ice—saw Logan find him back and raise his stick with a soft look. “I love you, too.”
Before he crossed the blue line, Alex picked up a water bottle and squirted it at Kasey, who barely flinched. He was dressed in gear, but playing back-up tonight, baseball cap shading his eyes. “What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”
Kasey just shook his head, smile small, brown eyes challenging. “Rangers stew.”
Alex scoffed, but skated closer to knock their helmets together gently, before darting off towards Montague in the Rangers goal just as the whistle blew, signaling the end of warm-ups.
The first few face-offs were a blur of adrenaline. Remus watched Sirius line up against Zibanejad. He kept waiting for Finn and Logan to end up shoulder to shoulder, but it never happened. Each time Logan was on the ice, Coach called Finn off of it. Thomas and Olli hardly let Logan near Leo’s net, either, double-manning him, predicting his every move. Remus saw Sirius and Pascal share slightly wolfish grins when Logan hit his stick against the boards in frustration.
Looks like Tremblay’s having himself quite the time out there against his former teammates. Haven’t seen him share the ice with his old college line mate yet. Had a bit of a tussle with Dumais, though, ha! Do you think that’s on purpose?
Tremblay and O’Hara go so far back, man, so much history. Played together at Harvard. Best friends, too. I don’t know why you’d keep two opponents who know each other’s game so well off of the same ice. I’d say you’d want that advantage, but, then again, that could backfire real quick, huh, Lee? I suppose I just want the show! Ha!
Oh, I’d say so.
“Jesus, Montague’s on tonight,” Sirius panted between drinks of water as the whistle blew for a deflection over the glass by the Rangers.
Remus nodded as he dragged a towel over his visor, clearing any sweat and steam away. “So’s Nut.”
“Ouais.” Sirius held his hand out for the towel and Remus handed it over. “We’re both locking each other down.”
“Better than the alternative.”
Sirius shrugged noncommittally and knocked on Remus’ helmet, making him laugh.
“That was an observation, not a jinx.”
Sirius didn’t look convinced, only glanced up at the clock. Six minutes to go in the first and no score. “If you say so.”
The Garden was still chanting Saint’s name after that last save. Saint, Saint, Saint, like they had stumbled in on some holy ritual. Remus took a moment to gaze up and around at the seats. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever thought he would get to play here after his injury. Never again, and now he had done it a few times. He didn’t think the effect was likely to ware off anytime soon. He watched Logan skate out, watched him check what line he was against—Pascal’s. Pascal said something as he took the face-off against Trocheck, and Logan smiled and rolled his eyes.
There we go, saying hello to an old friend, eh, Dean?
Tremblay lived with Dumais. The old joke is that they couldn’t get him to leave! My wife’s obsessed with Tremblay’s instagram, lots of pictures with Dumais’ kids. We know Tremz is the baby of three sisters—youngest child’s secret dream, to be the oldest?
Hey, I’m the baby of my family—no way I’d give up that leverage for anything.
Trocheck won it and Remus allowed himself a moment to settle into his old, familiar routine of watching Logan skate, the way he used to when he had spent all of his time on the bench. Sirius would always be his favorite—light, even strides that were soundless when he cut into the ice—but Logan skated like he was prepared to go miles and miles for what he wanted. His edges were clean, he could stop at the smallest touch, which meant it was hard to get around him and even harder to take the puck from him. Remus guessed that was why the Rangers coach had put him with Panarin. He shouldn’t be enjoying the way the two seemed to see lanes on the ice that looked closed, angles that looked impossible, but he was. Beautiful hockey was beautiful hockey, and Remus had always been able to appreciate that no matter what.
Logan narrowly avoided Evgeni, who definitely hadn’t gone in for the hit with his usual force, but it did make Logan pause for long enough that Evgeni was able to poke the puck away with his long reach, and right into Pascal’s waiting tape. Pascal turned and pushed hard up towards the other end—Logan on his heels.
“Très étrange…” Sirius breathed from beside him as the two whipped by.
“Yeah,” Remus said. “Strange.”
“Black!” Coach called when Evgeni came for a change. “O’Hara, go!”
Sirius was over the boards in a flash, well-rested from the whistle break. He caught Logan easy, Pascal blocking any shot he might make from behind. Logan liked to do that, no look passing. Finn had been on the receiving end of those for his entire career. Logan would keep his green eyes narrowed on the guy in front of him and then fake a shot, only to knock it back to Finn with his backhand for Finn and his speed to race half-way up the ice.
He couldn’t pass to Finn now, though, but Remus saw him hesitate, like the muscle-memory of it was fighting with him as he saw Finn in front of him on the ice. Finn shouted something to him that Remus couldn’t make out.
Oh, here we go, finally. This should be a show. Tremblay surrounded by familiar faces in the Rangers’ zone, knocks it to Panarin who can’t get it through, sends it around the boards to Fox, holding, holding, can’t get a lane—Black’s got it! Picked his pocket right up, looks like—is he gonna go coast to coast, Dean? Tremblay’s at his heels, can’t catch him—
Remus was on his feet as Sirius widened his stride the closer he got to Montague’s net. Saint was making himself big, blocker and glove out, knees ready to drop.
“Fake left,” Remus said under his breath. “High, high, c’mon…”
Sirius’ right leg raised, but Saint didn’t move the inch to follow where Sirius wanted him to go. Sirius’ shot was hit right out of the air by his blocker—God, the very edge of his blocker.
“Rebound!” Jackson shouted from beside him. “Cap, let’s fucking go!”
Sirius scrambled for it, but Logan got there first and knocked it all the way down the ice. The whistle blew for icing on the Rangers, and Logan’s line would have to stay on the ice for another shift, tired as they were.
Jesus, not often do you see a chance taken away from Sirius Black like that, do you, Lee?
Nope. No, you do not. Sebastian Montague, in these past few years…well, he’s been making a name for himself, yes he has.
Logan and Sirius were panting, sticks on their knees, not quite looking at each other. Logan bent to hand the puck to the ref, and Remus watched him send a glance to Sirius, watched him say something. Sirius turned and, after a moment, smiled, then reached his stick out to lightly wack Logan’s shins. Remus felt something release in his chest, looked to Finn who was watching them as he skated towards the boards for a change. He looked like he was feeling something similar—complicated and relieved, happy and sad.
“Mind staying out, Harzy?” Coach said when Finn reached the bench. Coach had an equally complicated look on his face as he raised his calling card to his mouth so the cameras couldn’t read him. “You distracted him good out there. Black got close, I think he can get close again before clock runs down.”
Finn looked surprised for a moment, then grinned. “Oh, Coach. I was born to distract Logan Tremblay.”
~
Remus was drenched in sweat by the time they were making their way down the tunnel for first intermission. They were still 0-0, but it was one of those games that just felt good. Difficult and evenly matched, low on hits, high on skill. It was always like that with the Rangers. Remus handed Lars his sweaty gloves to be dried with a nod of thanks. The locker room wasn’t loud, but it wasn’t quite. It wasn’t frustration exactly that hung in the air. More like will power. They wanted this. All of them.
Remus cut through the puck-marked tape on his stick once he was sitting in his stall again. Finn came into the room near the end of the line, just ahead of Leo, and let out a very loud, meandering sigh-like noise that made Leo laugh.
“Okay, Harzy?”
“This feels like a really weird dream. Like…” He paused to pull his jersey over his head, then stripping his pads off, leaving only Logan’s fleur-de-lis around his neck and his pants. “Like one of those dreams that you wake up and try to figure out what the fuck it means but you just sit there confused.”
Thomas laughed from beside Remus. “That was a whole thought.”
“I have a lot of them, occasionally.”
Remus just smiled and got up for the bathroom to rinse the sweat off of his face and neck. Within, Kasey was at the sink, stripped out of his pads. He was strong and tall, but always looked smaller, more fragile, in the moments just after he had removed all of the bulky goaltender gear. Kasey met his eyes in the mirror, twisting on the tap.
“Hey, Loops.”
“Hi, Bliz,” Remus said.
“Intense so far, eh?”
“Yeah,” Remus smiled. “Hey, gonna see Alex later?”
“Yeah, but we’re going out with a few of the guys first—not sure if the Cubs are coming, too, but I think they are. Old Harvard teammates and all that. And, from what I’ve heard from Leo, Tremz probably wants to do some sentimental shit like—I don’t know, serenade them?”
Remus laughed. “It’s sweet. I didn’t know he was like that, but it’s damn sweet.”
Kasey made a show of rolling his eyes but he was grinning, too, shutting the water off. “Yep. It is.”
“We’ll probably come, too,” Remus said. “But if we don’t win, I can’t promise you-know-who will be any fun.”
“Oh, you’ll wring some fun out of him, I know it.”
Remus leaned over and splashed water over his neck. “I always seem to, don’t I?”
Kasey was silent for a moment, but he wasn’t leaving like he normally would. Like any player, he had a strict intermission routine. Instead, he stood there, half-turned towards Remus.
“So, Cap asked you to marry him,” Kasey finally said.
“So he did.”
“I want to marry Natalie.”
Remus couldn’t help the way his head snapped towards him, couldn’t help the grin that crossed his face. “Oh my God, Kasey. That’s—” But then he noticed Kasey’s conflicted expression. “What’s up? That’s great, man.”
“It is.” Kasey nodded. “I’ve only been thinking. Our relationship with Alex is newer…well, Alex feels like my oldest friend in the world, but in this way, the way we three are now, it’s new. Very new. I don’t know how to tell him that I want to marry Natalie without him thinking that…without him worrying that I don’t think of him as permanently mine like that. Because I think I will want that. I think Nat will want that. I just…it feels different. We’re in a different place. I want to marry one person, but I want to keep the other.”
Remus nodded. He couldn’t picture wanting anyone but Sirius, couldn’t imagine having any room left over in his heart, but it filled him with warmth every time he thought of the Cubs, or when Kasey had told him about Natalie and Alex. Kasey was so quiet about it, but he was a bit like Finn, Remus sometimes thought. He had endless things to give.
“I think…I think you should tell him.”
“Yeah?”
“I think—I mean, maybe you’d be better of talking to Finn or Leo or Logan—but aren’t both of your relationships proof that things develop at different rates? That more than one thing can develop at once?”
Kasey nodded. “I…yeah.”
“I mean—okay, now that I’m thinking, even me.” Remus crossed his arms, leaning against the counter with a hip. “Maybe I don’t want two different people, but I wanted to kiss Sirius before I knew I was ever going to be friends with him. That shouldn’t really make sense, but that’s how I felt. And then he became my best friend while I was also falling in love with him. At the same time.”
Kasey smiled. “Yeah, I think we all knew about your little crush.”
Remus laughed. “I’m trying to say that I think…I think you should talk to Alex, ask Natalie, and…” Remus huffed out a laugh. “And wring out all the best that life has to offer. You’ve got a good hand you’ve been dealt.”
Kasey was quiet for so long that Remus started to worry that he’d said something wrong. That maybe he’d wanted or needed something else. He looked away from Kasey, trying to give him space, but kept an eye on his expression in the mirror—it was crumbling, slowly.
His voice came out so soft that even the bathroom’s echoes barely caught it. “I think I need to retire, Remus.”
And part of Remus felt like crumbling, too. Kasey was so quiet about it, about all of it, and Remus suddenly felt painfully grateful that someone like Kasey trusted him like this. He was thankful for his old job, and all that it had given him. If he’d started as a player, he wasn’t sure he would’ve gotten that.
“I know,” Remus said just as softly. How many hours had they spent together, trying to make the pain go away? Remus leaned his palms on the counter, freezing to the touch. “God. I know, Kase. You’ve been hurting a long time, huh?”
“They tell you to fight through it,” Kasey said, eyes down and unfocused. “That’s the thing about hockey. That’s probably what wrecked me and Alex for so long. What wrecked Sirius. They just tell you to fight through what hurts and it’ll go away. And if it doesn’t go away, ignore it. Pain means you’re an athlete, you asked for this.” Remus watched Kasey close his eyes. His face would have looked almost peaceful, if his voice hadn’t had a fine tremor to it, words barely audible by the end of his next sentence. “I’m so fucking tired of it. I’m so tired.”
Remus straightened and put a hand on Kasey’s back. “Kase…”
“I don’t know what’ll happen,” Kasey said.
“What’ll happen is you’re so fucking young. They make you feel old at twenty-eight in this game, and it’s bullshit. You can do anything you want. What’ll happen is you’ll choose something incredible, Kasey. I know you will. I know that because you know how to take your time. Believe me. I understand.”
“I—I want to finish the season. Give myself that.”
Remus nodded. “All right. Layla and Lars will help you.”
Kasey looked at him. “Will you help me?”
Remus had to take a minute. He squeezed Kasey’s shoulder and nodded fiercely. “Of course I will.”
Kasey sent him a quiet smile. He put his hand over Remus’. “Guess I’ll start with choosing Nat, then, huh?”
Remus smiled back. “Sounds like a good plan to me.”
~
Finn just wanted to get back out onto the ice. He had thought he would be sad. He thought he would have woken up with dread and a dry mouth at the thought of seeing Logan in blue. But he hadn’t taken into consideration that now Logan’s eyes would always be on him, storm-ridden sea green, trained on him, looking for the best way to beat him. Finn could see it now, even as he mindlessly taped fresh sticks for period two. It riled Finn in a way he hadn’t known it would.
“Hey,” Leo said, sitting down in his stall beside Finn. “I know we said we were all going to Lo’s but…lots of the boys are going out tonight.”
“You want to go, babe?”
Leo shrugged. “Kinda. Don’t know if Lo knows about it, though. He won’t be looking at his phone now, gotta see after the game.”
Finn tore the tape with his teeth and smoothed his finished work. “I think we should. Today won’t be complete till I’ve got my hands all over your hips while everyone’s looking. We don’t play tomorrow, we can fly back after the team does.”
Leo’s answering smile was bright and he leaned forward to press a kiss to Finn’s cheek. “That sounds good. So good. God, this game.”
“How’s it feel to you?” Finn said. “Because its getting me unexpectedly…toasty.”
Leo snorted. “I know, I can tell. I…” He paused. “I just—I really don’t want to let one of his past me, you know? It’s stupid, but oh my god, I don’t.”
“It’s not stupid,” Finn said. “Believe me, I feel the same.”
Leo leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “He looks good out there. Blue suits him.”
“You look good out there,” Finn said.
Leo offered him a small smile, eyes lingering over Finn’s, then Finn’s mouth. “Harzy?”
“Yeah?”
Another beat of silence, another flick of his eyes up, then down. “I—miss you.”
Finn started a little, blinked, sat up straighter. Leo smiled a little bashfully, looked down, and Finn reached out and put a hand on his thigh. “You miss me? Le, I’m…”
“I just mean…I feel better. And I can tell you feel better. We were all so different, for a moment there. And I’m—I guess I mean that I’m happy.” Leo put his hand over Finn’s. “That’s all. I’m happy. I don’t know.” Leo squeezed his fingers. “I—yeah, I don’t know.”
Finn nodded, slowly, understanding. He thought of the horribly still nights that they’d shared after Logan had first left. All of their trying, all of their tight grips. It did feel better now. Finn scooted closer, took Logan’s necklace from around his own neck and slipped it over Leo’s surprised, soft expression. He took Leo’s chin gently between his fingers and kissed him, because he could.
“I love you happy.” Finn said. and tapped the necklace and kissed him again. “For luck.”
“The necklace or the kiss?” Leo’s smile was bright.
“The necklace. The kiss is because I love you. Here’s another.” Finn kissed Leo’s forehead, then rested his own against it. “And I miss you, too. I don’t know exactly what I mean, either.”
Leo let out a breath. “Yeah…”
“But I do.”
Leo closed his eyes and nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”
The second period started off with a bang. Evgeni took on Reaves—and Finn honestly couldn’t be sure who won, only that they were both still talking a mile-a-minute on their way to their penalties.
“Does Reaves speak Russian?” Finn leaned in to say to Jackson, who just snorted.
“Kuns doesn’t care if you know what he’s saying during fights. It’s the feeling, Jackson, the feeling. They scare.”
Finn smiled. “Right. Reaves totally looks scared.” They looked like they were going to break down the glass.
“17, on Tremblay.” Coach tapped Finn’s shoulder. “Remember.”
“Oh, Coach, I remember.”
Finn next jumped the boards beside Sirius to swap out with Pascal’s fourth line. He narrowly avoided a hit by Blais with the puck on his stick, and managed a slick pass to Olli, only to have the puck snatched out of the air by Montague. Chants of Saint filled Madison Square Garden again. Saint, Saint, Saint. When he saw Panarin jump the boards, he fell in at Sirius’ shoulder.
“It’s not working up high.”
Trocheck followed Panarin, and then—
“Tremz’ll know if you go low.” Sirius was chewing on his mouthguard, eyes on where Logan was skating towards the face-off circle—towards Finn. “He’ll block. If he’s not shooting, he likes getting up in the crease to protect the goal.”
“We’ll have to try and get him unmatched from the Panarin line, surprise him. Their guys seem to like Lo and him together.”
Sirius nodded as they turned back to the face-off. “Try to trap him in the corners, maybe the others will go for a change.”
Sirius bent across from Trocheck, and Finn—well, he stopped for a minute. He had known what would happen just now, but he hadn’t realized exactly what this would mean, facing Logan’s line. He looked right into those familiar green eyes. They hadn’t been this close all night, and now Finn leaned forward, skate braced against Logan’s, snug shoulder-to-shoulder. Distract.
“Sorry, what’s your name again?” Finn said, and pretended to look back at Logan’s jersey. “Huh. Can’t pronounce that. I’ll just have to call you seventy-one.”
Logan suppressed a smile but said nothing. He kept his eyes forward, but there was a blush to the back of his neck.
And there are the old teammates. Chatting it up—well, O’Hara is, anyway.
“Seventy-one,” Finn said, mockingly thoughtful. “Got the last pick, eh? The dregs?”
“Harzy,” Logan said in a low voice.
“Hey, remember earlier today when we made out?”
That made Logan look at him, eyes pleased and fiery, just as the ref dropped the puck. Logan cursed and gave Finn a nice, hard shove, but not before Finn got the puck from Sirius and sent it up the boards. That was as good as a starting gun for Logan, and Finn gave chase. He saw his chance and took it. He pushed through one hard stride, then another, before pinning Logan not too softly against the boards, the puck trapped between both of their skates.
“Hi there, Tremblay,” Finn breathed, mouth perfectly positioned against Logan’s neck.
He knew Logan could feel his breath there, especially when he let out a frustrated noise low in his throat, and tried to shove back against Finn, free up the puck, but Finn fought right back.
“This? You want this?” Finn groaned as Logan shoved an elbow back against his ribs. “Oh, ouch, what was that for? Thought you loved me.”
“Finn,” Logan said through his teeth. The crowd was beginning to get restless and loud, but Finn just wanted to smile. He couldn’t help that they were matched for strength, that they could predict each other’s every move.
“Never felt you fight me like this before, huh?” Finn made a try for the puck but Logan’s broad shoulders edged in front of him again, making him have to switch to his other side. He could feel Logan’s sweat against him from the damp curls of his hair peaking out from his helmet, taste the salt of it. It was all him.
Logan let out a low groan of effort again and finally knocked the puck free. Both of them dived for it, only to find Remus there, snatching it up, tapping it to Thomas, back to Remus, back to Finn to tapped it in a quick east-west to Remus who pulled his stick back for a slap-shot—it rattled off the crossbar and into the Rangers’ net.
Finn put his arms up with a shout and Remus turned towards him, pointing his glove at him.
“Yeah, Harz!” Remus grinned as they crashed together, Thomas putting one hand on each of their helmets.
“Having fun in the corners there, Finnegan?” Thomas said.
“Very much so. Gonna get an earful for it later, though.” Finn laughed as he skated down the bench to tap gloves with his teammates, receiving a slap on the helmet from Coach as he used the gate to get into the bench. He glanced up and caught green eyes staring at him for just a second.
“My boyfriend loves those,” Finn said quietly to himself. “My boyfriend reads those.”
Wow, all smiles from O’Hara. Certainly pleased with himself over that goal.
Finn looked down the ice at Leo, and he couldn’t really see his eyes, but he could tell that Leo was looking back by the slow, exasperated and fond shake of his head.
“You say something?” Evgeni asked from beside him.
Finn pointed to Leo. “My boyfriend’s the goaltender for the Gryffindor Lions.”
Evgeni made a face, brown eyes confused. “Harzy, I’m know this?”
Finn just smiled, letting out a long breath. “I know. I just wanted to say it someone.”
~
Logan sat back in his stall with his eyes closed.
“How you doing, kid?” Alex’s voice said.
“I’m a little…fluttered.”
“You’re…fluttered?”
“I think I said it wrong.”
“Flustered?”
Logan rubbed at his eyes, then laughed. “I guess. Turned on feels closer.”
Alex must have been drinking water because there was a snorting sound and then he was choking through a laugh. “Oh-kay. Okay, Tremblay, wow. Zero to one-hundred.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Alex laughed again, taking another sip of water. “I mean, keep in mind I believe you’re referring to my brother’s little clean hit, but don’t be sorry.”
“Huh,” Percy said from where he was re-lacing his skates. “I believe Finn was hoping it would be perceived as a bit more dirty, actually.”
Logan laughed. “Shut up.”
Logan felt easier in this locker room. Part of him worried it was only due to the mere proximity of the Lions, of Leo and Finn, of Sirius and Pascal. He had been living without the promise of see you tonight and he still got sad going home to an empty apartment. But he liked this team. They were kind and tight-knit. They pushed each other and uplifted each other. Even the quiet, somber ones like Luke—though, Logan guessed he could be considered a quiet and, sometimes, somber one himself.
He stood up. “They’re starting on the power play, which is dangerous.”
Percy put up his hands. “I didn’t trip Nadeau. Fucking refs.”
“Cap—uh.” Logan shook his head, threw his jersey back over his head so he’d miss any second looks he got for that. “Black is probably really fired up so. Dangerous around the net. Whether you tripped him or not.”
“So?” Alex said. “You’ve got a slapper that can go the distance.”
“Non, they’ll expect that. They’ll put Walker right in front of it.”
“Hm.” Alex stood, too, throwing his shoulder pads on over his bare chest and beginning to smooth the velcro.
“Well,” Percy said. “You know Knut better than any of us. We’ve watched tape, but…”
That brought Logan up short. He looked over at Percy, his fair hair wild from drying sweat.
“What?” he asked, though he’d heard him.
“What’ll work?” Percy asked, like it was obvious.
Logan opened his mouth, but couldn’t think of a single thing to say. What’ll work against Leo? He knew, obviously, but…
“Five-hole.”
They all looked over at Saint, who had spoken—who rarely spoke between periods usually. He was sitting in his stall beside Luke, cold towel around his neck.
“He’s tall,” Saint continued. “Long legs, he can’t get down as quickly as he always should. But he’s good with his hands, he’ll snatch anything glove-side right out of the air.” He looked over at Logan, eyes knowing. You can’t do this, so I’m doing it for you. “He’s been doing it all night. But so have I.”
Logan couldn’t keep his eyes off Leo. The way he came back out for the third, marking up the freshly smoothed blue paint in front of his goal with precise, measured strides. He was all the way at the other end of the rink, but Logan had a feeling Leo was watching him, too. When Leo came to the bench for a full water bottle before the first puck drop, Logan saw that he was right.
Logan almost didn’t want to look over. Finn had caused enough of a stir in him. But he couldn’t help it. He found Leo’s blue eyes. He had his mask up.
Hi, Logan saw Leo mouth.
Logan bit his lip. “Hi.”
Then Leo reached into his jersey, brought out a necklace, and kissed it. With a start, Logan realized it was his fleur-de-lis. He felt himself flush hot. He felt himself smile. He touched the place on his own chest where the pendant had once rested. Leo smiled, pulled his mask down over his face, pointed two fingers at his own eyes, then at Logan.
Logan recognized the challenge.
Ha! A little message from Leo Knut there. We’ll see if Tremblay rises to the bait and evens out this game.
They had been right about the power play. Sirius was buckling down and fierce. Logan felt the same. Any hyper-awareness that he’d had about playing against his old team faded to the back of his mind. Muscle memory took over. He didn’t hit—he didn’t think he could bring himself to really let that go—but their faces blurred and the Gryffindor red could have been Detroit’s. After each shift, he barely wanted to sit on the bench.
He found himself shoulder to shoulder with Finn again, determined not to give into him this time. Determined to maybe feed him a bit of his own fire.
“Do you remember,” Logan began. “That first summer we spent in New York together, and you read me those books?”
Finn smiled. “Ha, you can’t get me. Alex already told me. Ha-ha.”
Logan kept his eyes ahead. “I think I was already in love with you.”
Logan had the puck on his stick before Finn could even close his mouth.
Oh man, this is what Tremblay’s famous for, Dean. As fast backwards as he is forward and—those feet. One of the best skaters in the league. He passes to Morgan, Morgan to Panarin—the magnetism! Wow, back to Tremblay, over to Marshall, narrowly avoiding O’Hara on his way down the ice, Tremblay, back to Marshall, back to—Oh! And he scores! Tremblaaay!
Oh, what a look on Tremblay’s face! That’s bliss, man. That’s bliss!
Logan slammed up into the glass with a shout, Percy just behind him.
“What a pass!” Logan managed to say from beneath Percy’s glove all but trying to smother his face.
“Like old times, eh?” Percy laughed, then turned to call to Finn. “Eh, O’Hara! Owe you one, you fucking beauty!”
Finn waved him off, but the gesture did draw Logan’s eyes to Leo. He was tracing the blue paint with his stick, like he always did after a puck got past him, head down, trying to re-focus. Logan knew that this was normal for him, but that didn’t make the twinge of guilt in his gut any better. He had, for the first time, been the one to cause that look on Leo’s face. Leo was hard on himself. Logan knew this from many sleepless nights spent with him. The fact that it was Logan who had scored…he knew that didn’t make it easier for Leo.
And even still. A certain triumph. Leo. He’d gotten one past Leo.
But the victory didn’t last. No more than four minutes later, Finn and Remus were like hounds on the ice. Logan had almost forgotten. They were playing for the playoffs. Remus squeezed one in beneath Saint’s left pad with three minutes to go, and then Finn, nearly swiping Alex’s feet out from under him in the process, pulled the Lions ahead of the tie for a clean win. A clinch. They were two play-off teams now.
Logan was happy for them. He wondered if they would get to meet each other in the first round, depending on who the wild card ended up being. But Logan couldn’t watch them all celebrate on the ice, piling against Finn by the glass, gloves on the ice. That, he couldn’t quite do.
~
Remus could feel the happiness coming off of Sirius. They had done it. They were going to the play-offs. Sirius had even been almost receptive when the reporters had surrounded him in his stall. He’d even forgone his baseball hat that usually kept his eyes shaded and unreadable. Remus had had a bit of a moment, watching him push his sweat-drenched hair out of his bright eyes, answering questions in English, then a few in French.
“Thank you, Sirius,” a few of the writers had said, and then Sirius had smiled with a merci.
Remus joined him by the fridge that held sports drinks and water. He nudged their shoulders together. “Merci.”
“Shh,” Sirius said. He sent Remus a smile, though, pressed a kiss to his temple.
Finn’s parents were at the game, of course to watch both of their sons play. Remus had only met them a handful of times, but the energy they brought with them into the room was classic. Remus could practically smell the early morning practices, alarm clocks and high school locker rooms and jerseys on clothing hangers in stalls.
“How you doing, kid?” Finn’s mom grinned, pressing a hard kiss to Finn’s cheek and rubbing his back. “What a game. Almost a hatty. How’d it feel?”
Finn’s dad, Ramsey—a tall man with the O’Hara’s soft brown eyes and a handsome face with tortoise-shell glasses—rubbed a hand through Finn’s hair. Remus could tell he’d been doing that since Finn had only come up to his knees. “So weird to see Logan in blue.”
“Yeah,” Finn said. He still had his arm tightly around his mom’s shoulders, and his knuckles looked like he was really holding onto her. If Remus didn’t know better, he’d say there was a bit of emotion in Finn’s voice. He thought of what Alex had told him. My boyfriend reads those. He thought of how long Finn had been waiting for a sentence like that from Logan. “Yeah. It was weird, but it was good. See Alex yet?”
“Not yet, came to you first,” Ramsey said. “Al said he was gonna come down here to you, anyway. Oh, Leo—” Ramsey smiled at Leo as he came to Finn’s shoulder, and held out his arms. “What a fucking game, man. Hot hands on you.”
Leo accepted the hug and the slap on the back, then pointedly ignored Finn’s exaggerated look at his hands. “Thank you.”
“Aw, Leo,” Haley put her hands on his cheeks. “You’re looking good. I’m so glad, you boys are looking so good, I was…I was worried there.” Then her eyes caught on someone behind Leo and Remus looked to see. “Kasey Winter, what the hell are you standing all the way over there for? I see those shy eyes of yours looking at me.”
Kasey came over in his usual, almost sheepish way. Remus felt a pang go through him, thinking back to seeing that expression just over an hour ago, trying to be strong.
“How you doing?” She had her hands on his face like she had with Leo. “You okay?”
“I’m okay.” Kasey nodded.
“Hm.” Her eyes went over his face. “You know Alexander never shuts up about you.”
“I don’t think I shut up about him, either.” Kasey’s eyes went to Remus’ for a moment. “At least not in my head.”
“Good.”
Remus smiled. He looked over at Sirius. He had been going to ask if they were joining the others at the bar, but the look on Sirius’ face stopped him in his tracks. He was staring at the O’Hara family, grey eyes without walls. It was such a rare sight that Remus reached out for him without thinking, put his hand on Sirius’. Sirius blinked, watched Haley O’Hara lean up for Finn to whisper something in her ear, watched the way she put her hand over her heart and looked up at her son with that heart written all over her face.
“I’m fine,” Sirius said. “I just—wonder sometimes. About—I mean, if I had had…”
“I know.” Remus rubbed his thumb over Sirius’ knuckles.
Sirius squeezed his hand before clearing his throat and standing, reaching for his shirt.
“Hello, mon fils.” And Pascal was there suddenly, arm going around Sirius’ shoulders, squeezing tightly. “Going out with the boys?”
Sirius swallowed, leaned into Pascal a little, then nodded. “Ouais, we’re going.”
Remus thought about what he’d said to Kasey. They were all so young. And he suddenly wanted his family there. He wanted to see Julian for more than a few weekends a year and a month and a half in the summers. He had an almost aching want for a family with Sirius. And everything, all the time that came with that. It knocked his gaze unsteady for a moment. He looked at James, who was on the phone with Lily, one AirPod in and laughing as he did up his game suit tie.
“Put him on,” James was saying. “Harry totally knows what icing means, Lils!”
Remus smiled and reached for his towel to dry his hair one more time, only the room erupted around him. Logan and Alex had walked in. Alex immediately ran at Finn, dodging around his parents to put his little brother into a headlock.
“Ugh, Alex—” Finn scrabbled at Alex’s grip. “No—Mom.”
“Alexander, release your brother, he won fair and square.”
Leo, who had his arms around Logan, laughed as Logan imitated Finn. “Mom.”
“Ooh, it’s Tremblay,” Evgeni said, knocking Logan’s hat down over his eyes as he passed by, already dressed. “Big bad Ranger boy. We smush you. Smush.”
Jackson, behind him, righted his hat with a pat. “See you at the bar? What’s it called—uh, something-something?”
“Sure,” Alex called, still with a fighting Finn under his arm. “I’ll have Logan put it in the group chat.”
“Finn reached up to wack blindly at Alex’s face. “C’mon, man.”
Finally, laughing, Alex released him and accepted a hug from his mother. With access to Finn now, Logan gave him a shove.
“You fucker.”
“Tremblay,” Alex said, arm around Haley. “Language around my mother.”
Haley scoffed. “Oh, please.”
Remus laughed with the room just as his phone started ringing. A photo of Julian’s nostrils popped up beneath his name and Remus shook his head.
“When did you do that…” he muttered to himself, and then answered. “Hey, bud.”
“Such a good game! And—so weird that Tremzy? But like so cool to see him and Finn, like, like—battle for it. And also good goal! With Harzy. Really pretty.”
“Hi, sweetheart,” his mother’s voice came. “Oh, yes, we just went wild!”
“Hey, thanks,” Remus smiled. “Yeah, it was pretty weird.” He glanced over to where Finn had his hands up in surrender still, half talking, half laughing as Logan spoke a mile-a-minute in French.
“I wanna talk to Sirius,” Julian said matter-of-factly.
“Ooh, yes, put Sirius on for a moment. I have a wedding idea.”
“That you can’t tell me?”
“It’s about you! Hand him over!”
Remus rolled his eyes, but smiled as he nudged the phone at Sirius. “Jules and my mother demand your attention.”
Sirius looked down from where he had finished up half the buttons of his shirt, eyes going happy. “Give it.” He wedged the phone between his shoulder and cheek as he finished the buttons. “Ça va, Jules? Avez-vous regardé le match?”
Remus felt all warm inside at how slowly he spoke. Julian had started learning French in school, and Remus could hear his OUI! from where he was.
Sirius smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, as he listened to them.
See? Remus mouthed, and Sirius just reached out to stroke through the wet hair at the base of his neck. Remus leaned into it and listened for a few moments as Sirius replied to whatever Julian or his mother was saying. Soft hums and sounds of agreement until he finally said, with a wicked grin at Remus, “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”
Remus flicked him in the ribs.
“Non, not flying home,” Sirius said. “We’re going to hang out with Logan and some of the Rangers because we miss him.”
“I heard that!” Logan called over.
“Just a little!” Sirius called back, then held the phone in his hand, suit jacket over his arm. “Okay, Jules. Okay, I’ll tell him. Good night.” He laughed. “Yes, I know. Okay. Okay. Ouais, okay.” Remus put a palm to his forehead, shaking his head as Sirius tried to hid his laugh. “Okay, yes. Got it. Ouais, promise. Okay. Okay, night.”
Sirius handed the phone back to Remus. “I don’t want him to grow up any more.”
Remus sighed and accepted Sirius’ gentle kiss. “Me neither.”
~
The bar was loud and dim, with seemingly endless worn booths and many pool tables— also, everyone seemed to know Alex. The bartenders, two middle-aged women in black tank-tops and a sun and moon tattoo on their upper left arms that had to go together, each gave him long, hard hugs. Kasey, too, which Remus shouldn’t have been surprised about. The walls were plastered with photographs of the two women with different players—Rangers and otherwise. Above the bar was a great big sign: No Autographs, No Pictures. If We See A Flash—You’re OUT!
Remus smiled. He could see why Alex liked it here. Public, but no where they’d be mobbed should it come to that.
“I guess you’ve been coming here a long time,” Sirius said, coming to Kasey’s shoulder.
“Oh, yeah, Cap. Since the old days.”
“My Lord,” one of the women said—thick braided hair that was died pink at the ends and tied back in a long twist. She had soft eyes, russet-brown skin, and she stood tall like a dancer. “Kasey Winter, you have brought Sirius Black into my bar. Finally.”
Kasey just laughed and tapped Sirius’ chest. “Sirius, meet Holly, and that’s her wife Jude over there.” He nodded towards a woman with a blond pixie cut and green eyes that were almost as startling as Logan’s. She stood with one hand in her back pocket, pale skin covered in various tattoos. She was laughing at something Evgeni was saying before replying in Russian.
Remus thought Sirius looked a little overwhelmed by it all. He drew his gaze away from the surprisingly big space and towards Holly with one of his shyer smiles. “Nice to meet you.”
She laughed, a contagious thing. “You really are a formal one.”
Kasey rolled his eyes. “Not really.” He reached around Sirius to put a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “This is Remus.”
“Hi there,” Remus said. “This is an amazing place you’ve got here.”
“Oh, thank you, darling.” She reached over the bar and put her hand on Remus’. “You know, my wife grew up in your hometown. We followed your story all through college. We were so sorry when that nasty Grayback…He should have been banned from the League a long time ago. God, and then everything with that fucking Snake team. And I know we don’t know each other but we feel a lot of pride about you.” She gave a hard nod.
That nasty Grayback. Remus had never actually heard anyone blame him before. “I—oh. Wow.”
“I’m proud, too.” Sirius’ arm found his waist and Remus was so, so grateful.
“Sharmall.” Remus jumped a little at a very much higher-pitched version of Finn’s voice.
“A’Horo,” came the response from Percy Marshall, already standing with Alex and Will Morgan at a pool table.
Remus watched as Finn, coming in with Logan and Leo, all but launched himself at Percy, and he couldn’t have deciphered the noises that came out of their mouths if he wanted to.
“You fucking M&M! Fucking snack!” Percy held Finn’s face between his hands. “Treat you a two? A three? Crack the egg.”
Finn shook him by the shoulders. “Fuckin’ crack it.”
“Do you…understand this?” Remus asked Logan, who was greeted by Holly by a very loving and rather comforting hand on his cheek.
Logan was just shaking his head. “Yes. Only because I was there.”
“And?” Leo asked, looking just as bewildered as Remus.
“They’re going to have beers,” Logan said. “And they’re saying hello.”
Leo blinked. “I—okay.”
“I told you,” Logan said. “They’re crazy together.” He sighed, smile exasperated, and looked to Holly. “Hi, Hol. Sorry about them.”
“Oh, we’ve seen worse.” She held up her hands and poured Logan a drink—quick shot of rum, crack of a coke bottle. “Sorry about the loss, honeybee.” Her eyes moved to Leo. “And don’t I know who this is. Congrats on the win.”
Logan accepted the drink with a smile, and put his arm around Leo’s waist. “This is my boyfriend. Leo.”
Remus watched the way Leo’s expression caught, surprise and something so bright that Remus could barely look at it.
Holly pressed her lips together in a smile. “Hi, sweetheart. Can I pour you something? I can’t tell. All thought I couldn’t tell with Tremblay here, either. Jude googled him—ha!”
Leo nodded, hand going to his wallet. “I can—do you want…”
“I believe you.” She cracked the cold bottle from the fridge that Sirius has asked for. “Some of the older boys try to bring in the rookies sometimes. They know they can’t get passed us, though.”
Remus turned to look up at Sirius while the others moved onto the game from that night. Sirius shuffled him down the bar a little ways before tapping a stool for Remus to sit on so that they were eye-to-eye.
“Okay?” Sirius asked quietly.
“Yeah, totally.” Sirius looked at him and Remus smiled, put a hand on his chest. “I really am. I promise. It just—his name takes me off guard. I was surprised—most people just go sorry about the hit, not—you know. Not like he meant it. Not like—I know no one knows what really…happened. But it was nice to hear someone get close.”
Remus took a breath, realized he was rambling. He rolled his shoulder a little. It would never move quite in the way it used to, scar tissue and stress, but he was lucky.
Sirius nodded quietly. “Ouais. I see.”
Remus straightened, smiling when he saw Evgeni hurtling towards them, pushing right through Finn and Percy to do it.
“Hey, Kuns,” Remus said.
“Loops.” Evgeni put his hands up, one holding a beer. Who knew where his jacket was but his tie was barely hanging onto his neck and his shirt was unbuttoned almost all the way, showing some of his tattoos. “The party is me.”
Remus raised his eyebrow, but nodded. “Sure is.”
“Cap,” Finn said, tugging Evgeni’s tie up to catch over his face. “Percy insists I introduce you properly, whatever the hell that means.”
“Hello.” Percy looked star-struck as he shook Sirius’ hand. “Sir.”
Remus tried to bite back a smile but Finn snorted. “Perc, what the fuck.”
Percy was pink around his ears. “Hello, not sir.”
Sirius just smiled wryly. “Hi…”
“I love you,” Percy said plainly.
“Okay, that’s enough.” Finn put an arm around Percy’s shoulders to steer him away. “And you’re not even drunk, I forgot how fucking weird you are.” He pressed a sloppy kiss to Percy’s temple. “Fuckin’ M&M.”
“Kit-Kat.”
“Jolly Rancher.”
Remus hid his laugh in Sirius’ chest, where he felt the rumble of Sirius’ own. Sirius’ palm came up to cover the back of Remus’ neck, thumb stroking gently.
“Loup,” Sirius said softly beneath the music playing. “Something made you sad earlier, though.”
“What? Oh. Yeah,” Remus smiled a little, pleased at the way Sirius was pressing so close. “I can’t actually say. It’s not about me.” His eyes went to Kasey. “You’ll know soon.” Sirius’ eyes followed his. “You probably already do.”
Sirius looked for a long time. Alex and Kasey, sitting snug in a booth together, looking like they were having a soft, earnest conversation. Kasey might have been crying a little, but they were laughing, too, and Alex touched their foreheads together.
“Ouais…” Sirius said finally.
Remus smoothed his hands up Sirius’ chest, around to clasp behind his neck. “I like this. I like us all together again.”
He looked at Pascal, Thomas, and Leo, standing and watching Finn, Will, and Logan saying something that sounded like it was about Harvard. Percy was beside Leo, seemingly whispering extra details into his ear.
“Speaking of sad earlier,” Remus said, and tilted Sirius’ face back towards his own. “I saw you watching the O’Hara’s—or A’Horo’s now, I guess.” Sirius half smiled, thumb still tracing lines down Remus’ neck. “Our families are yours. Especially mine. Okay? All of us…even some fucking Rangers.”
Sirius barely had time to smile when, as if on cue, Holly announced the arrival of a few more.
“Saint Montague,” she said, voice somehow carrying over it all. “Get your ass over here, sweetheart.”
“Monty!” Percy called as Saint came in, followed close by Luke Deveaux, whose eyes went immediately to Sirius and Remus, tangled up.
Saint put a palm up to Percy. “Nope.”
Percy let out something close to a cackled ha! and turned back to Leo.
Saint was really something to behold, Remus had to admit—by Sirius’ face, he could tell Sirius had to admit it, too. He had tan skin and hair that had been streaked blond—it was a strange cross between angelic and something akin to punk. Remus caught Sirius’ eye, whose mouth quirked. They watched as Holly clasped his hand, saying his drink was on the house—sorry about the game, darling, I know how you hate to lose.
Saint gave off an air of arrogance that should have dulled the effect. His chin tilted like he knew just how good he was. But it didn’t dull anything. Especially not when his light, liquid sun eyes looked Remus up and down once. “Lupin.”
“Montague.”
His eyes flicked to Sirius with a challenging little smirk. “Black.”
Sirius only nodded. Saint’s eyes went back to Remus.
“Pretty little things you do on that ice.”
Remus arched a brow. “Thanks…Good game.”
“It was fine. I’ve had better.”
“Obviously,” Sirius muttered.
Remus glanced up at him and Sirius huffed, but only took a drink of his beer.
Saint just smiled, then looked back at Luke as he called Holly over again. “You want something, Tweedle?”
Luke simply nodded and came to his side, leaning against the bar and watching Saint’s profile as he ordered for the both of them. Sirius glanced at Remus again. Remus would do anything for Sirius to keep sending him those little silent communication looks.
Be nice, Remus mouthed.
“You know,” Saint said, turning to Sirius. “Your boy was pretty wrecked when he first got here.” He looked towards Logan.
Sirius blinked. “Logan’s trade was a surprise.”
“Yeah, even we can agree to that,” Saint nodded. “But all I’m saying to you is that…” Saint hesitated. He looked down at Luke, then back to Sirius. “He’s doing okay now.”
“I know.”
“We’re good people.”
“Never said you weren’t.”
Saint laughed and rolled his eyes before throwing an arm around Luke’s shoulders and steering him away. “So stop looking at us like we’re just a bunch of Rangers! Oh—” He looked over his shoulder. “But we are going to have to do something about him calling you Captain all the time in our room.”
“No deal,” Sirius said.
Saint laughed again, but turned away.
“Meanie, Captain.” Remus smiled, knocking his knuckles lightly into Sirius’ arm.
“I love Logan,” Sirius said in a low voice, taking a drink. “But we are still hanging out with a bunch of Rangers.”
“What do you want, Tremz?” Remus heard Finn call from across the bar. “Another round, I’m buying.”
“You know what I want!”
“Bleh, sugar-water,” Finn said, then grabbed Leo’s hand and pulled him between the tables. Leo barely had time to let Logan take his drink from his hand and send a laugh over his shoulder. Finn spun Leo around a few times before settling his hands on Leo’s hips and resting him against the bar, murmuring something gentle to him. Remus smiled at Leo’s smile.
“Do you think they’re going to be okay?”
Remus looked up at Sirius, who had something akin to his game face on—maybe a little more worried.
“We were okay.”
“Yes.”
“And we’re okay now.”
Sirius looked down at him. He was biting at the inside of his cheek. “Yes.”
“Yes.” Remus reached up and stroked a thumb over the taut cheek until Sirius relaxed. “They’re getting to choose.”
“That doesn’t mean everything’s going to be in their control.”
“They know that, I think.”
Sirius nodded. “Ouais…”
“Cap!”
They looked up at Logan’s voice—met Saint’s pointed look on the way—and watched Logan wave at him, standing with Pascal.
“Come here. I want you in this photo.”
“Oh, of the night we beat you?” Sirius called back, but he was smiling, slipping out of Remus’ arms. Remus just shook his head and watched him go. “I thought we weren’t allowed photos?”
Logan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but we’re the ones taking them.” He gave Sirius’ suit jacket a tug, surprising Sirius into one of his real smiles, so that Percy could snap the picture.
Everyone seemed reluctant to leave—reluctant to have enough drinks to risk a hungover flight or practice tomorrow, but reluctant to leave all the same. Neither Holly or Jude seemed to mind that they all ended up just sitting around a pool table, rolling some of the balls back and forth across the felt mindlessly and laughing much too loudly, though the bar was emptying out.
It stirred a fond memory from college for Remus—something that didn’t happen often. It even included Grayback. Something that happened even less. There had been a blizzard, power out, locked down in their team houses, four peanut butter and jelly sandwiches each, and with a mission to drink the cold beer before it got warm.
Remus looked around from his place settled between Sirius and Thomas. Evgeni was trying to tell a story that was half in Russian and Jackson was giving what was sure to be a very wrong translation until Saint finally raised a finger and said he spoke Russian. This resulted in a very sloppy kiss on his cheek from Evgeni. Luke might have scooted Saint’s chair a little closer to himself.
Logan and Finn had Leo between them, touches casual and happy. Percy and Will had had the table in fits telling Harvard stories, and Kasey had actually put his full, large palm over Alex’s mouth to stop him from telling an old story from them being on the Rangers together.
It felt like a family. And Remus had had that feeling in college. A sickish wave of fear washed over him then. He didn’t want now to feel like then, promising that anything could go horribly wrong. He looked at Sirius, but he was turned away, talking to Alex. Remus shifted, wished he had some water. Remus felt a nudge from his right.
“Heyo,” Thomas said softly. “What’s up?”
Remus shook his head. “Nothing.” He smiled. Took a breath. “Nothing. I just…I love this.”
“Hurts sometimes, huh?”
Remus huffed out a relieved laugh. “Yeah. Exactly, T.”
Thomas put an arm around his shoulders, across the back of his chair. “I got you, Loops. We all got you.”
From his other side, Sirius kept talking to Alex, but he seemed to hear. He put his hand on Remus’ knee, warm and familiar.
“Ooh, I took his spot,” Thomas mock-whispered, and Remus laughed.
“No,” Remus said. He felt more grounded. He would enjoy this. He was enjoying this. “You stay right where you are.”
~
Logan had watched how close Finn held Leo, hands on his hips. Their heads ducked together, cheek to cheek. Right there in the middle of the crowd. Each time he had looked over, Logan had gotten different views. Finn saying something, Leo’s eyes closing as he laughed, Finn ducking to press a soft kiss to Leo’s neck. Leo sending him a wink over Finn’s shoulder, Finn grinning at him over Leo’s.
And then Leo had leaned into Logan’s side, ducked down to whisper in his ear. Take us home.
God, this place, his New York apartment, called home in Leo’s voice.
Now, Logan kept Finn close, his back against Finn’s chest as they leaned against his kitchen counter to watch Leo open his fridge, and let out a long sigh at the empty shelves.
“Oh, Tremblay. Tremblay, Tremblay, Tremblay.” He picked up an unopened bottle of ketchup and stared at it sadly. “As my mama would say, this is just asking for trouble.”
“I’m sorry?” Logan said.
“What are you eating?”
“At the rink.”
“We’ve FaceTimed, though! You bought stuff! I walked around the grocery store in your hand, they have the lettuce you like and everything.”
“Ouais…I do better when you give me really good instructions.”
Leo sent him a bland look around the door. “You need really good instructions to buy lettuce?”
“I make egg and ham sandwiches?”
Leo turned to the stove where there was still evidence of said sandwich on a spatula and pan. He made a face. “Remind me to get you a spoon rest.”
“Okay,” Logan laughed, and then tilted his head to the side to give Finn more room where he was beginning to kiss his neck.
“Kitchen looks good, though. From what I was expecting.” Leo opened a few barren cupboards and made a hmm noise.
“But I hang the towels up,” Logan said, and Finn’s answering snicker washed over his skin warmly. “And, regarde, the key bowl. By the door.”
“You don’t even have your tea,” Leo’s frowned was actually concerned now. “Lo.”
“I don’t know,” Logan sighed. He tucked himself back against Finn more. “It’s not…”
But what did he want to say? It’s not the same? That’s for at home. But this was supposed to be his home.
“It’s okay, baby,” Finn said softly, pressing gentle kisses to his jaw that bled into one another, into his words, too.
“No,” Leo said. “No, this is his home, Finn. I want him to have the things he likes here.” Leo looked over at them, and his expression softened. Finn held out his hand for him, and Leo took it, letting Finn pull him in, peppering his jaw in those same kisses. Leo smiled, hands going to thread in both Logan and Finn’s hair.
“I did have it. At one point. I guess I just…” Logan took a breath, and Finn when to speak but Leo put a hand over his mouth, making them all laugh. Logan sighed and knocked his forehead against Leo’s chest. “If I don’t have too many things, then it’s not…”
“I get it,” Leo said, and then released Finn and bent to press a soft kiss to his mouth. “They should call you Talker.”
“Sorry, sorry.” Finn said. “But Leo’s right. This should feel homey. Otherwise why would we come and visit?”
Logan scoffed and elbowed him in the ribs.
“Ouch, Tremblay.”
“Oh, non. Don’t even get me started again on the ice today.” Logan rolled his eyes.
“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Blame Coach.”
Leo snorted. “Oh, Coach told you pin Lo up all hot and heavy?”
Finn just grinned. “I’d call it being willing to play the corners, but you can call it whatever you like, Nutter-Butter.”
Leo just shook his head, laughing. “C’mon. I want out of this fucking suit.”
“That can be arranged.” Finn looked down at Logan as Leo wandered towards Logan’s bedroom, peaking none too subtly into the bathroom on his way. Finn tugged on Logan’s tie. “Sorry. I should let you talk.”
“Don’t be,” Logan said. “You’re still not used to it.” He smiled. “Me neither.”
Finn laughed. “Guess so. Come on. Show me the Tremblay Chamber.”
“Stop with the last name,” Logan laughed, but took his hand and pulled him up from the counter. “Makes it feel like you’re still on the other team.”
“Logan,” Finn said in his ear, still close to his back as they walked. “Lolo.”
“Non.”
He dropped to a whisper. “Lo, baby.”
Logan just glanced at him, biting back a smile.
“Yeah, you like that.” Finn’s voice was cocky as they pushed the bedroom door open to find Leo seeming to be checking Logan’s lightbulbs on his bedside tables. “Okay, Leonardo. What is happening.”
“These pre-furnished places come with harsh lights sometimes! Like the cool toned ones, like a hotel—” Leo ducked down to see beneath the shade. “Logan likes the yellower warm ones.”
Logan’s heart squeezed. “Le, the light’s fine.”
“No, they’re cool and you will just live with it. Okay, tea and lightbulbs.” Leo straightened, shrugging out of his suit jacket. “That’s my list so far. Oh, no, spoon rest. I should write this down.”
“No, you should sit down,” Finn said. He nodded towards the bed. “There, right there. Go on. Sit, and I’ll give you a fun surprise.”
Leo look suspicious, but he sat on the edge of Logan’s bed. Finn turned Logan around by his shoulders and walked him backwards until he fell back into Leo’s lap. Logan laughed, but rested his head back against Leo’s shoulder.
“A good surprise,” Leo said softly, and kissed the underside of Logan’s chin.
Finn lowered himself to one knee in front of Logan. “All this Rangers blue…” Finn tisked his tongue. He smoothed his hands up Logan’s thighs, the material of his suit catching against his fingers. “Even made it into your socks and tie.” Finn looked up at him. “That has Alex written all over it.”
Logan took a steadying breath. “He, um—took me to his tailor.”
“I bet he did.” Finn kissed the inside of his knee. “And he had to trace this inseam…” Finn’s mouth trailed up his strong thigh, hand against his knee. “Lucky human.”
Logan couldn’t help spreading his legs a little, eyes on Finn’s mouth. Leo adjusted behind him, feet tucked back and knees against Logan’s hips.
“It is a nice suit.” Leo’s hands went to the navy blue tie in question and gave it a little tug. “But I think we should take it off of him now.”
Finn’s hands went to Logan’s belt and he did a little whistle to the tune of it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas as slid the leather free from its buckle.
Logan let out a soft laugh, leaning back into Leo as he slid the tie out from around his throat. “Shh.”
The nights were lonely. Logan always felt himself as the lone weight in his bed acutely, like he was sinking into it. It had been even been worse in his dorm bed, at Harvard. Narrow space, no room for anyone but him. He’d curled into himself, back against the window with the rattling AC. Finn, oceans away on the other side of the room, breathing and shifting and talking until neither of them could keep their eyes open. Laughing too loud and Percy banging on his ceiling to get them to shut up.
And then Finn’s bed, in his parents’ New York brownstone. Bigger. Stepping over the air mattress on the floor in the morning. Him and Leo sharing a hotel room on the road, each with their own double bed. Wishing so hard to throw off his own covers and just—just climb in and close those inches of ugly hotel carpet between them, sleep turned into Leo’s chest instead of trying to block out the blaring red numbers of the clocks on their respective bedside tables.
And now there was this. Leo behind him, unbuttoning his shirt from his shoulders like it was some sacred rite. Finn coaxing him into lifting his hips off of the bed, the jingle of his belt hitting the floor. Hot mouth around him, Leo’s fingers against his ribs, mouth on his neck, the weight of Finn’s elbows pressing into the mattress around him.
“Got one past me tonight,” Leo said in his ear. “You know I don’t let things like that go.”
Finn’s mouth was replaced by his hot cheek on his thigh as he laughed, breathless. “I thought no hockey in bed.”
The pillows behind Logan’s neck felt cool and gentle when they lay him back against them. He didn’t have to ask to watch them shed their clothes, too. And when Finn eased him back when he tried to help with his buttons, his large hands pressing against his chest, Logan thought of the boards. Finn pressed up against him, Leo all the way on the other side of the ice, what if I closed the distance? That thought that had circled in his mind a million times, for both of them. What if I came to them?
Finally, he had.
“Hold me,” Logan said, breath shaky through the words.
Leo just smiled into their next kiss, unbuttoning his own shirt. “We are.”
“Non.” Logan took Finn’s hand that was cradling the side of his neck and moved it down a little, to the front of his chest so that the V between Finn’s thumb and forefinger was settled just over where his collarbones dipped apart in the center, where Finn could feel his pounding heart. Finn’s lips were wet and parted as he watched Logan put his own hand over Finn’s and press down on his chest, watched his eyes go hooded with it.
Finn’s expression did a complicated thing. He applied a little pressure of his own, barely even at all, but Logan felt it in his chest, let his eyes close with it. It was good. It meant they were there.
He put his fingers around Finn’s wrist and guided his hand down more firmly.
“Ah.” Finn grinned, eyes going to Leo who had made another hmm noise, not dissimilar to his one from the kitchen. “I see.”
“I miss it. Please.” He used his feet to press Finn’s hips harder against his own and looked to Leo. “Please, I miss you so bad at night. I miss you so bad at night.”
“Aw, Tremz,” Leo said softly.
And just like that it was back. Tonight had been so happy. But reality was still in the room.
They didn’t let him linger in it. Leo’s kiss was short and sweet, hard enough to draw Logan to him as he pressed up all along Logan’s side. Leo let Logan guide his fingers carefully to where Finn’s were. He lay each one in the spaces between Finn’s, right over his heart. “We’re right here.”
Logan let out a harsh breath, tilting his chin back, giving Leo room. Leo leaned down and brushed his lips against Logan’s cheek. “Good?”
“Ouais, ouais—” Logan could barely stand that look in Leo’s eyes. It was as good as seeing the intensity of their blue through the mask. Better. “So good.”
Logan’s necklace glinted around Leo’s throat, pooled by their joined hands on Logan’s chest as Leo leaned over to kiss him.
“God, Lo, look at you,” Leo breathed, drawing Logan closer like he needed it. “Okay, maybe I’ll let the goal go. Was gonna make you wait for it but…just for tonight.”
“First kiss day,” Finn added, and Logan grinned into the next kiss he received.
The held him together, on either side, even when their hands made him feel like he was unraveling. Finn’s hand slipped away from his chest, down, down. Slick and fiery and steady, pulling his hips up in time with their movements like he couldn’t help it. The tension of the game melted away, right out of his muscles. Leo’s hand stayed right where it was, making his heart feel like it was pounding against something more than just himself, like it was trying to knock down whatever skin and bone was left between them. Logan didn’t remember locking his hand around Leo’s wrist, but he did, he held on even as Leo’s mouth bled any strength out of him, throat bared as Leo kissed him gentle and calm against the pile of pillows behind them.
He didn’t feel alone. It was such a relief.
When Finn got as close as he could, Logan was warm. Heavy against the sheets. Finn bent over Logan in a rush, arms scooping under Logan’s back this time, one pressing just above his ass, holding them together like he wanted to knock it all down, too.
Logan could only wrap his arm around Finn’s back in return, the other still locked on Leo. It brought Finn close, his stomach rubbing up against Logan’s cock perfectly, the scent of his sweat heavy on Logan’s tongue where his mouth was pressed into the hair that curled against Finn’s neck.
“Yeah, you like that,” Finn whispered gently, pressing a kiss to Logan’s jaw. “You like this, always have.” When Finn began to grind into him, it was shaky and needy. He barely pulled away at all, but Logan didn’t want him to. He opened his mouth against Finn’s skin, breathing hard, pressing his teeth into Finn’s skin gently to muffle the low sounds he was making.
“Leo,” Finn managed, voice tight, then at Logan’s teeth, laugh shaky. “Ouch, Lo.”
Leo laughed, too, smoothing Logan’s hand into his own and kissing his knuckles before ducking to get at Finn’s neck and shoulders, too. Logan caught his mouth in a sloppy kiss, trailed his hand down Leo’s chest until he could take him in hand.
“Did I mention you scored on me?” Leo’s brows drew together at the feeling, forehead resting on Finn’s should. “And—ah…I don’t forgive easily.”
“Ouais,” Logan said, voice sounding shot to his own ears. “I’ll make it up to you.”
Logan eased Finn off of him with a lingering kiss, a sigh at the loss, but Leo was plains and stretches of pale, bare skin flushed pink.
Logan had missed them, but they had missed him, too.
Logan straddled Leo’s hips, feeling how badly Leo wanted him, feeling the arch of Leo’s back as they pressed together. They kissed and kissed, Logan’s palms against Leo’s chest this time, then his neck and jaw, smoothing his hair back. He pushed his hips down again, and again until Leo was muttering urgent sounds and gripping his hip, keeping him still as he spilled needy and white between them.
Logan kissed over the sweat at his temple, lips parted in something between a smile, triumphant, and a need of his own. Finn was there, then, soothing the tremors in their bodies.
“I missed you, too,” Logan heard Finn murmur into Leo’s mouth.
Logan knew he would live in this moment until the next one like it came. It would be where he fell back to, when he needed something to weight him down and ground him, whenever the changes became too much. He couldn’t have said where he stopped and they began. He didn’t know the hours, he didn’t know the degree of light in the sky. He knew their skin, and their laughs, and brown and blue, red and yellow. Getting up in the pitch black just to come back and find both of them there. A memory for later, though it’d make him sad more than anything. He’d paused by the window, where the moon fell on them. He got up again to see the same sight in the blue light of the early morning. He just wanted the feeling of settling back in between them, their mindless sleepy hands finding him without trying. A glimpse of blue, Leo pulling him closer, who’s sleepless now? Finn, hearing their voices. His warm palms going around Logan’s wrists, pinning them above his head, hips settling together again, again, again.
Logan was tired, but not of this.
Leo, scrambling eggs at his stove, singing softly along to the music playing on his phone. Finn, sleepy at the counter, tennis ball beneath his foot, rolling out sore arches. Daylight. Logan left the room just so he could come back in and see them there.
He’d leave again, later, kissing them goodbye right there on the sunny sidewalk. He’d come back in to no one in his kitchen, the bed a mess. Practice in two hours. It was funny, as he stared at himself in the mirror brushing his teeth, how he looked so rested after no sleep. It wasn’t as funny how part of him had managed to convince himself that he was going to see them every night, like his body had needed to put that on a loop in his mind in order for him to enjoy it so much. But no, tomorrow they were just playing the Stars.
Twelve hours had barely passed than did Logan come home from a practice to find an express package waiting at his door, addressed in Leo’s handwriting. Inside was a box of his mint tea with a great big smiley face drawn on it in sharpie, and a set of lightbulbs. Logan smiled and set his kettle on.
#vaincre lumosinlove#smut#hockeyhockeyhockey and more hockey#wolfstar#o'kntuzy#sweater weather lumosinlove#sirius black#remus lupin#wolfstar fic#Logan tremblay#Leo knut#finn o'hara
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Going through the tag, it looks like a number of people are really struggling to understand Bram Stoker’s terrible cockney-accent writing style, which is a shame because Tom Bilder the Zookeeper is a real treat. So I’ve gone through and written out his dialogue in plain English as best I can. This isn’t annotated, just my attempt to make the writing a little more accessible for everyone.
Only Tom Bilder and his wife’s words are written out here, please insert the Pall Mall Gazette interviewer’s words as needed.
“Now sir, you can go on and ask me what you want. You’ll excuse me refusing to talk of personal subjects before meals. I give the wolves and jackals and the hyenas in all our section their tea before I begin to ask them questions.”
“Hitting them over the head with a pole is one way; scratching their ears is another, when gentlemen with money want a bit of a show-off to their girls, I don’t so much mind the first—the hitting with a pole before I throw in their dinner; but I wait until they’ve had their sherry and coffee, so to speak, before I try the ear-scratching. Mind you, there a deal of the same nature in us as in those animals. Here’s you coming and asking me questions about my business, and I was so grumpy that it was only because you gave me a half-a-bloomin’-pound I didn’t immediately blow you off before I’d answer. Not even when you sarcastically asked me if you’d ask the zoo’s Superintendent if you could ask me your questions. Didn’t I cheerfully tell you to go to hell?
“And when you said you’d report me for using obscene language, that was the same as hitting me over the head; but the half-a-pound made that all right. I wasn’t going to fight you, so I waited for the food and howled like the wolves, and lions, and tigers do. But, Lord love your heart, now that my wife has stuck a chunk of her tea-cake in me, and rinsed me out with her bloomin’ old teapot, and I’ve lit my pipe, you may scratch my ears for all you’re worth, and you won’t get even a growl out of me. Go on with your questions, I know what you’re getting at, that escaped wolf.”
“All right, governor. This here is about the whole story. That wolf we call Berserker was one of three grey ones that came from Norway to Charles Jamrach, which we bought off of him four years ago. He was a nice well-behaved wolf, that never gave any trouble to speak of. I’m more surprised at him for wanting to get out than any other animal in the place. But, there, you can’t trust wolves any more than women.”
“Don’t you mind him, sir! He’s been minding the animals so long that, bless me, if he isn’t like an old wolf himself. But there’s no harm in him.���
“Well, sir, it was about two hours after feeding yesterday when I first heard the disturbance. I was making up a litter in the monkey-house for a young puma that is ill; but when I heard the yelping and howling I came straight away. There was Berserker tearing around like a mad thing at the bars as if he wanted to get out. There weren’t many people about that day, and close at hand was only one man, a tall, thin chap, with a hook nose and a pointed beard, with a few white hairs running through it. He had a hard, cold look and red eyes, and I took a dislike to him, for it seemed as if it was him that was irritating the animals. He had white leather gloves on his hands, and he pointed out the animals to me and said: ‘Keeper, these wolves seem upset at something.’
‘Maybe it’s you,’ I said, because I didn’t like the airs he gave himself. He didn’t get angry, as I hoped he would, but he smiled a kind of insolent smile, with a mouth full of white, sharp teeth. ‘Oh no, they wouldn’t like me,’ he said.
‘Oh yes they would,’ I said, imitating his tone. ‘They always like a bone or two to clean their teeth with around tea-time, which you could provide.’
Well, it was an odd thing, but when the animals saw us talking they lay down, and when I went over to Berserker he let me stroke his ears the same as ever. Then the man came over, and bless me if he didn’t put his hand in the cage and stroke the old wolf’s ears too!
‘Take care,’ I said. ‘Berserker is quick.’
‘Never mind,’ he said. ‘I’m used to them!’
‘Are you in the business yourself?’ I said, taking off my hat, because a man who trades in wolves, etc., is a good friend to keepers.
‘No,’ he said, ‘not exactly in the business, but I’ve made pets of several.’ And with that he lifted his hat as polite as a lord, and walked away. Old Berserker kept looking after him until he was out of sight, and then he went and lay down in a corner and wouldn’t come out the whole evening. Well last night, as soon as the moon was up, the wolves here all began howling. There was nothing for them to howl at. There wasn’t anyone near, except someone apparently calling a dog somewhere out in the back of the gardens in the Park Road. Once or twice I went out to see if everything was all right, and it was, and then the howling stopped. Just before twelve o’clock I just took a look around before turning in for the night, and, bust me, but when I came opposite to old Berserker’s cage I saw the rails broken and twisted about and the cage empty. And that’s all I know for certain.”
“One of the gardeners was coming home at about that time from an harmony, when he saw a big grey dog coming out through the garden hedges. At least, that’s what he said, but I don’t put much stock in it myself, since he never said a word about it to his wife when he got home, and it was only after the escape of the wolf was made known, and we had been up all night hunting the park for Berserker, that he remembered seeing anything. My own belief was that the harmony had got into his head.”
“Well, sir,” he said, with a suspicious sort of modesty, “I think I can; but I don’t know that you’d be satisfied with the theory.”
“Well then, sir, I account for it this way; it seems to me that the wolf escaped—simply because he wanted to get out.”
“Right you are, sir,” he said briskly. “You’ll excuse me, I know, for teasing you, but the wife here winked at me, like she was telling me to go for it.”
“My opinion is this: the wolf is hiding out somewhere. The gardener who didn’t remember said he was galloping northward faster than a horse could go; but I don’t believe him, for, you see, wolves don’t gallop anymore than dogs do, not being built for it. Wolves are fine things in a storybook, and I daresay when they’re in packs and attacking something that’s more afraid than they are they can make a devil of a noise and chop it up, whatever it is. But, Lord bless you, in real life a wolf is only a low creature, not half as clever or as bold as a good dog; and not with nearly as much fight in it. This one hasn’t been used to fighting or even providing for himself, and more than likely he’s somewhere around the Park, hiding and shivering, and if he thinks at all, wondering where he’s going to get his breakfast from; or maybe he’s run down some area and is in a coal-cellar. My eye, won’t some cook get a fright when she sees his green eyes shining at her out of the dark! If he can’t get food he’s bound to look for it, and maybe he’ll find a butcher’s shop in time. If he doesn’t, and some nursemaid goes walking off with a soldier, and leaving the infant in the perambulator—well, then I shouldn’t be surprised if the census has one less baby. That’s all.”
“God bless me!” he said. “If there isn’t old Berserker coming back by himself!”
“There, I knew the poor old chap would get into some kind of trouble; didn’t I say it all along? Here’s his head all cut and full of broken glass. He’s been getting over some bloomin’ wall or something. It’s a shame that people are allowed to top their walls with broken bottles. This here is what comes of it. Come along, Berserker.”
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Strauss arose from his grisly slumber to stalk the halls in search of a meal. He was peckish, and had awoken a bit later than usual, and both of these disruptions to his delicate equilibrium had left him looking a bit more sullen than usual. He passed people in the hall who stared and whispered and quickly looked away and hurried past him.
He raised an eyebrow. To be sure- having people scurry away from him in fear like pill-bugs was hardly a new occurrence for the elder vampire. But the people in the Van Helsing Institute knew him, and by now, knew better. Something was off. Something was wrong. The fact that they hadn’t stopped to tell him what it was only meant one terrible thing.
Whatever it was involved him.
His sour expression grew confused and gradually more concerned. What people in the halls that didn’t immediately flee from him were busy feverishly cleaning, organizing, moving things and looking frantic. He turned the corner to the director’s office. She would know. Her door was open however, and Artemis was nowhere to be found.
Now his concern was inching into panic. He craned his head into the room looking for her.
“Frau Van Helsing?... Artemis?”
“THERE you are.”
Strauss turned around to see Ursula with her arms at her hips, looking very upset with him. She usually did, but today was different. Today was worse.
“Frau Harker. What is going on? Where is Artemis?”
“I wouldn’t worry about her right now. It’s YOU that’s in trouble.”
He froze. In that moment Strauss would have sworn he felt his dead heart squirm fearfully in his chest. It had happened. Ursula knew about him and Artemis. They’d been caught. They’d been found out. Someone saw. Someone heard. What to do? Confess? Deny everything? Beg for mercy? What had Artemis already said? He opted to swallow hard and force his now dry tongue to ask as calmly as possible.
“What did I do this time?”
“Nothing, as far as I’m aware. Nothing NEW anyway. But what you’ve done in the past is bad enough. It’s all gone over my head now. I hope you’re satisfied.” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Please tell me what is going on.”
“We’re being audited.”
“Audited?” Strauss raised his eyebrows. “Audited by whom?”
“By the church, of course. Did you think they just threw money at this venture without ever asking where it went? You’ve stepped out of line one too many times and now they’ve had enough complaints and we’re being audited.”
She became more animated as she spoke and threw her hands up in frustration as she turned away from Strauss.
“Follow me, you’ll be needed for this. First you need to get dressed. Something decent. A collared shirt, one that’s been pressed. And comb your hair, you look like a damn hobo. An audit. Under my watch. I can’t believe this. This is all your fault. My rules aren’t just here to torment you, you know. Now you’ve done it. Now it’s out of my hands!”
Strauss followed her meekly to his room. “Frau Harker. What does an audit entail?”
“They’re going to double check all of our security protocols and observe the facilities and make decisions about how bad of a job we’re doing. They’re also going to want to speak to you, personally, to determine if we’ve done a fair job rehabilitating you. You will be with me at all times until they leave so we can pretend we care about proper containment. It goes without saying you MUST be on your absolute best behavior.”
“I must be interrogated by a stranger?”
“Yes. And not just any stranger, the most important stranger you’ll ever meet, Strauss. I don’t really know how to say this any more clearly, but if you fail this interview, it is very likely that Project Symbiosis will be terminated.”
“And what then?”
“What then?” She let out a mocking laugh and turned to face him. “If the project is terminated, so are you. They certainly don’t have any use for you.”
“So I am, very suddenly, being asked to prove my own life is worth living, and if I step out of line, I am condemned.”
“Yep! Make it count!” She replied, sounding rather frantic and dropping her usual in-control facade. She stomped into his room and threw open the closet. Strauss normally would have balked at that invasion into his privacy- but she was on a mission. She threw clothing out onto the bed.
“No, no. Not this. Not this either. How many black tee shirts does one man need? Do you have any sense of style? Ah- here. This one. It needs pressing but… UGH it will do.”
She shoved the shirt into his chest. “We will have to cover the wrinkles with a jacket, and if you’re wearing the jacket you may as well wear the tie, too. Do you have any cologne? Any breath mints? Clean your fingernails. Brush your teeth. Do SOME thing.”
“You seem to be taking this worse than I am, Frau Harker.” Strauss did as he was told and threw off his shirt to slide into the off white button-up she’d forced onto him.
“I am worried, Strauss. The complaints we’ve been served with are not without merit. We’ve had two live subjects, both of whom escaped, both of whom have gone on to attack humans and only one has been recovered. If it were me doing the audit…”
She rested her hand over her face and staunchly blinked back frustrated tears.
“If it were you, you’d be siding with the complainant.”
“You have your work cut out for you. This auditor is someone I know, actually someone I respect. A vicar. Goes by the name of Emille but you should really call him Vicar Martin. Or at least Mr. Martin. Herr Martin. Whatever damn honorific you Germans use. I don’t care.”
She looked at him with a disgusted grunt. “Please do not disrobe any further until I leave. Meet me in the hall when you’re done. Unfortunately I must be next to you at all times to keep up the illusion that you are adequately chaperoned. Don’t think I’m sticking close to you because I’ve gone soft on you.”
“You sound concerned for my well being, that is all the softer you need to be, Frau Harker.”
“If I actually wanted you dead, Strauss, you’d be dead. Believe it or not I have a vested interest in your well being if only because I don’t want to make my niece cry. Well. That and… truthfully it would be an awful waste. I mean, with the education and everything we’ve sunk into you…”
“I am touched.”
“Get dressed.” She stepped out and waited in the hall. Strauss soon emerged, looking like he was late for some sort of interview for a job he didn’t want.
“Ugh, that’s your best suit is it? If you survive we’ll have to fit you for a new one.”
“Do we know what to expect from this auditor?”
“I’ve met this vicar a few times before. He’s not unreasonable. Not hateful as far as I can tell. He’s supposed to be neutral and impartial. Your history of good manners will work to your benefit here.”
“I appreciate your vote of confidence.”
“Yes, well, no sense in trying to make you feel bad at this point in time. You’ll have to sink or swim on your own merits.”
“Will you please tell me, where is Artemis?”
“First name basis with Artie, are we? She’s being interviewed separately from yourself and seemed to think it prudent to maintain the appearance of emotional distance between herself and her subjects. I tend to agree. You will be with me, and later you will return to your room, which will be locked for appearances sake, and I will bring in Troy.”
“Troy is also in trouble?”
“Not yet, but it is a non-zero chance.”
“He cannot have Troy.” Strauss bristled under his suit coat.
“If he tries to take Troy or harm Troy in some way I will kill him.”
“Will you shut UP. You cannot go into this interview talking like that. Nobody is going to do anything to Troy. Please worry about yourself, I will take care of everyone else.”
Strauss shut his mouth tight in a stony silence. Ursula would protect Troy, he was sure. She was probably actually the best person to play bodyguard anyway. But even the simple inference of a possible threat set him on a hard, sharp edge. It was already quite too late for the vicar. Strauss already hated him now.
Ursula led him to the game room, which was uncharacteristically shut and locked. She knocked on the door and opened it.
“Vicar Martin? Subject Luther Strauss is ready to visit.”
Strauss groaned quietly. ‘Subject.’ Indeed.
“Wave him in.” Came a cheerful reply.
“You do not want security to sit in?”
“No need. I’m sure he’ll be good. Besides, I need to see him without someone influencing him.”
Ursula turned to Strauss and nodded, pushing open the door. Strauss meekly stepped in and flinched slightly when the door shut hard behind him and the lock jingled, signaling his entrapment with the auditor.
Vicar Martin wasn’t all that intimidating. He wasn’t in any sort of official looking robes. He wasn’t even wearing a tie. A wispy white head of hair and a short white beard sat over a cheerfully ruddy face framed by thin metal glasses. It was the sort of face that could have been easy to be friends with, if not for the obvious.
“Hello Mr. Strauss. Or do I call you Luther?” He got up from the chair to shake hands.
“Doctor Strauss to you, if you please. You are Vicar Martin? I was baptized Martin Luther Strauss, once upon a time. We shared a name.”
“Yes, but you know that’s a sore subject with us Catholics. I can’t say I’m a huge fan of Martin Luther.”
“That makes two of us.”
Strauss took off his jacket and tossed it aside and began to undo his tie. He pointedly ignored the vicar’s attempt at a handshake.
“So. You’ve come to do an audit, is it? Or perhaps this was some ploy to get to see a vampire in person.”
Martin smiled. “You got me, Doc. I had to see the eighth wonder myself.”
“How appropriate, that so many of the seven wonders are in ruins. Is it worth the effort? Do I impress you?” Strauss paced around the room, looking for a game on the shelf, not looking at Martin while he talked.
“Maybe I should give you a demonstration of might. Give you something to write about in your little notebook. Would you like that? Perhaps we can go to the garage bay and I can throw a car for your entertainment. Or change into a bat and take you on a ride around the grounds. Then we can come back and have tea.”
“I’m getting a note of hostility here, Doctor Strauss.”
“Hostility? No.”
Strauss dragged out the last syllable sarcastically.
“No, I love surprises and meeting new people. Having my routine interrupted is my favorite thing. Being made to wear clothing I am not comfortable in to impress people I do not like puts me in fine humor.”
Strauss selected a game box with checkers from the shelf and placed it on the coffee table.
“I especially enjoy being on trial for my life. It’s grand fun. Almost as fun as checkers. Sit down. We’ll play a round while we talk.”
The vicar nervously took a seat. “You know, an audit is serious but I’m not here to accuse you of anything, Doctor Strauss. I’m just an auditor, I’m not a judge.”
“ ‘I’ll be judge, I’ll be jury, said cunning old Fury. I’ll try the whole cause and condemn you to death.’ “
Strauss recited a line of poetry from memory as he set up the chessboard. Disdain was all but physically dripping from his fangs. He chose the black tokens for himself as the vicar watched him curiously.
“You’re a fan of board games?”
“I enjoy games, though I usually prefer the more challenging ones. I would have chosen Scrabble, but I do not think it would be fair to you. I am very good at Scrabble.”
“And you think I’m not?”
“Prove me wrong.”
Strauss made the first move, deftly picking up a checker in his claw and setting it down with a sharp click. “So, Mr. Martin. I suppose you have some uncomfortable pointed questions to ask me about all the wrongs I’ve committed. I’ve never been to confession before, having been raised protestant. You will have to guide me along. How many hail Mary’s is a human life worth?”
“Heh.” Martin scooted his red piece a space forward. “Just a few minutes into this and you’re already confessing to a murder?”
“It is logged in my file. I trust you did your homework and read ahead before visiting me? Or am I giving you too much credit?” He clicked another piece forward. “It would be very stupid to sit down with me alone without knowing what to expect.”
“You’re right, it would be. I have seen your file, Doctor Strauss. I also know it wasn’t one murder, it was two, and a severe bite not too long ago.”
“Ah, but now you are already being uncharitable to me. It was only one murder. The other was clear cut self defense. I would argue that any creature has the right to defend its own life as well as it can, without a black mark upon its soul.”
“Do you have either of those two things? A life or a soul?” The vicar asked quietly and skipped over one of Strauss’ pieces.
“Those two points are as debatable as they are irrelevant. If I lack a soul it is only clear evidence that a soul is unnecessary. If you refuse to call it a life, my existence at least has been worthwhile.”
“And what have you done with that existence?”
“I am working on my education. I have one already, as you know, but it is out of date. I have earned my GED from some half baked American school and I am taking college courses. I especially enjoy organic chemistry. It is very difficult. I am barely scraping by with a passing grade.” He click-clacked his checker piece two in a row over the vicar’s.
“That one is your favorite even though you’re close to failure?”
“Yes. I enjoy the challenge. I am never bored with it.”
“What do you intend to do with that degree?”
“Artemis has encouraged me to try my claw at forensic science. Personally, I wish to resume my role as a physician. I am especially interested in pediatrics.”
Martin snorted. “Now, forgive me for saying so. But that’s rich. A vampire pediatrician? Are you even safe to have around children?”
“You are a Catholic clergyman. Are you?” Strauss narrowed his eyes at the vicar and claimed another of the red pieces. “In addition to my ongoing academic pursuits I am fluent in three languages, including Latin. I participate in numerous research projects including live anatomy demonstrations and I am told I have contributed vast swaths of new knowledge to the realm of vampire studies.”
He folded his claws. “It turns out that if you ask us nicely, we are happy to oblige.”
“Hmm. Yes. All good things. It doesn’t seem like your mind has completely gone to waste, then. What about physical conditioning? Does your lodging permit you the ability to adequately exercise?”
“You almost sound as if you are concerned for my physical well being, how quaint.”
“It’s part of the audit, Dr. Strauss. Inhumane or overly restrictive conditions would be as much of a cause for concern as overly loose ones. Or I should say, almost as much as a concern. If it were overly restrictive, it would only be harming you. If it were overly loose, it would be harming you and others.”
“I believe I know what you are trying to ask. This is about my night out, yes?”
“About your rampage.” The vicar replied coolly. “Calling all of that a night out is a euphemism, and you don’t seem like the sort of man to deal in euphemisms.”
“I am barely a man.”
“What are you then?”
“Genderless. I am more of a concept than a man. I am a tiger.”
“Alright then. Not sure what pronouns to use for that one. But, about your rampage.”
“It was a very simple mistake. My needs are not complex, but they are strict. They were not being met. When one cages a tiger, one must be cognizant of its needs and respectful of its power. Frau Harker and the Institute were neither. Not at that moment. I slipped away.”
“You slipped away and attacked one person and terrified several more.”
“He put his hands on me first.” Strauss growled. “I had a broken ankle, several fractured ribs, and I was both freezing and starving. Him putting his hands on me in that moment was a tragic mistake on his part. I do not blame him for it. In fact if it pleases you to know, we have since made amends.”
“Amends?” Martin raised his eyebrows. “They let you see this person again after mauling him once?”
“Yes. I thought repentance was something your lot purports to be a good thing. Mr. Samuel and I have put the past behind us.”
“I take it that Mr. Samuel also knows your little secret then too?”
“Yes. He also knows about Herr Cunningham. He has visited the grounds several times. He is one of cherished few we feel we can trust with our secrets. He is of a persuasion that knows what it is like to be unjustly mistreated because of their identity.”
“I appreciate the honesty Dr. Strauss. I wish I could say it was doing you favors. But, if I may be honest in return, the purpose of this audit is to be very strict. So far I have that you bite when overwhelmed, are prone to escape, you seek out former victims who did survive; and even though you’re getting an education you want to place yourself in a position of power over very helpless patients with that education. How do I know you made amends with Mr. Samuel? And didn’t just threaten him into silence? Where is that threshold of your needs not being met, that would make a tiger hungry enough to hunt again? How much of this intelligent, well read identity you put forward is real and how much of it is an act?”
“An act.” Strauss bristled.
“Shut your God damned mouth you mediocre, chewy clot of undercooked fat.” He bared his teeth and grabbed the checkerboard and tossed it casually to one side.
“You have the great privilege of seeing me without a shadow to hide in, and you think it is all an act. As if you know what part of me is true or false from reading off of your clipboard. You know of the bite but not the reason why. You know of the murder but not the self defense. You are spoon fed prejudice and swallow it without a second thought like a child swallowing arsenic when told it is a vitamin.”
Strauss stood up, using his height to tower over the flustered and cowering vicar.
“And what have you done with your life? I have brought patients back from injury and illness. I opened my crypt to fleeing innocents during the bombing of Europe in the great wars. I have caught and disposed of more wickedness in my jaws than could fill a dozen of your dossiers. I have lived over two hundred years, and I will live two hundred more, whether or not your audit agrees with me.”
“So you’re throwing the audit on purpose?”
“No. I am warning you not to stick your fingers in my cage. Tigers seldom warn twice. You already know what happened to the last one who tried to meet me in my den.”
The vicar steadied himself and tried very hard to look the angry immortal in the eyes. “Dr. Strauss, I assure you that I-”
There was a commotion in the hall that made both speakers stop and stare at the door. A cacophony of “What do you THINK you’re doing-NO YOU CAN’T GO IN THERE” and the door flung open to a harried crowd of Ursula, Artemis, and Troy all but dragging Sam in by the arm.
“Oh good nobody shot you yet.” Troy grinned at Strauss. “Hey! Vicar Martini or whatever your name was, we have a character witness for my buddy Strauss here. This is Sam, say hi Sam.”
“Hi Sam.” Sam parroted sarcastically. “Hey Strauss.”
“Sam was one of the guys Strauss bit, when I heard you were coming I knew I had to go get him to tell you that everything was fine now. I mean, you gotta have a character witness at a trial right? Also I can vouch that Strauss has a pretty strong moral compass. He only ever bites guys that have it coming. I mean except Sam and that was an accident and they’re cool now.”
“Yeah, he actually saved me from getting hit by a car once so now we’re even or whatever.”
“Yeah, he’s also a doctor and he helps me when I have my lycanthropy episodes.”
“Sorry I’m late, Vicar Martin. I had to chaperone Troy when he was out of the grounds. Have to be extra thorough on audit day.” Artemis smiled and folded her hands behind her back.
The flustered vicar threw up his hands. “Will all of you please stop talking for a minute, I can barely think in here.”
“Now you see why I was overstimulated to the point of biting.” Strauss mumbled and went to stand behind Artemis. He was coming down from the angry high of being brave, now he only wanted comfort.
“If Luther didn’t frighten you away, I’m ready to sit down and chat. One on one or in a group.” The director smiled brightly.
“No need.” The vicar collected his papers. “I actually have already heard enough.” He turned to Strauss with a subdued smile. “Congratulations Dr. Strauss, you’ve passed your audit.”
“What?” Came the reply in near unison from the crowd.
“Your vampire friend here was quite the conversationalist. He didn’t stray away from his feelings, or his past. I think after hearing this, that the real reason for the audit did not actually involve you.”
“Real reason?” Artemis turned to Troy and Sam. “Can you two wait outside for a moment?”
“Sure.”
“What reason is that?” Strauss asked from behind Artemis.
“I probably shouldn’t tell you too much, but, you’re bound to find out on your own. Director Van Helsing…” Martin sighed. “There has been a murder.”
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Sorry to mention ***** but I think it's worth noting that The Show debuted in the UK with 14k less sales than Faith in the Future.
I think The Show did much better that FITF in the United States, which tells me a few things.
1. Playlisting on Spotify is incredibly important to artists’ charting— and breaking through to the general public— in the United States. The USA sets the international standard for “what is popular,” so it’s very important to have a hit here. Harry could not have become the popular artist he is today without Watermelon Sugar becoming the pandemic pop hit that it was, and it was achieved with relentless playlisting and many iterations of physical copies being sold. The 2020 competition (Lady Gaga, Dua Lipa) were very good, but Harry’s team simply wore them down with payola. This formula is what Niall’s team is following, although obviously the amount of money invested and recouped is much less.
2. Playlisting only goes so far with the UK, as Official Charts limits individual Spotify streams of a song to 10/ discrete account/ day. It can be circumvented with multiple discrete accounts and overwhelming blanketing of radio plays, as well as multiple iterations of a physical album (Louis’ team did this at the last minute with the digital FITF exclusive on release week, which Larrie UAs subverted by posting all songs online as soon as they were available). You can see why being blacklisted on UK radio is death to charting. No radio = no physical or digital album purchases, and the reverse is also true. People won’t buy what they’ve never heard before. A lack of live exposure to the general public— festivals— compounds the problem further. Niall has all of these bases covered: streaming, radio (he just did a BBC radio festival and live lounge), several physical versions of the new album, festivals.
3. After a while, reputation becomes fact. Popularity evokes the feeling that an artist deserves to be popular; popularity begets more popularity. Obscurity evokes the opposite. Most of the listening public (hell, most of their fans) do not care how the sausage is made, but they don’t want to follow an unpopular artist, especially one who might have a stigma.
4. Louis’ fans went all out for him in the UK, but the cold slap in the face to fans from his BMG team (in this interview) was sobering. His numbers came from loyal fans buying dozens of albums in order to beat Bruce Springsteen— a gargantuan task. Niall did not have anywhere near the same competition in the UK. Would fans have done the same for Niall? I guess we’ll never know.
5. It’s safe to say that Niall’s career is much more “normal” than Louis’. Niall benefits from being “not the competition” to Harry Styles, but a middle-of-the-road surviving member of 1D. Industry allows him a career because it wants to.
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brain dump
What delicious tea we’ve all been given. And welcome back @the-empress-7for leading the charge. I have sooo many thoughts on this mess but that’s all conflicting with summer travel and business, so I’ll consolidate them all here.
First the nits: I don’t know if it’s the result of serialization or his writing style but I’ve found some of his storytelling to be confusing. For instance, the Vogue meltdown:
Her first task, said Meghan, was to demand that the official publication date in Britain be delayed by one day to let publication in the US take the lead. America’s reaction, she was certain, would be more positive than Britain’s.
What US publication? The US Vogues and UK Vogues are separate publications. September issue featured Taylor Swift that year. Did she mean she wanted the UK Vogue to be released before the US? The whole thing is kind of confusing. I have no doubt she tried to meddle but the story is a bit vague and I’d like to understand it more.
Now onto the good stuff:
The narcissism details are just ((CHEF’s KISS)). Imagine you show up at a date’s place and their house is plastered with photos … OF THEMSELVES. The fact that Harry accepted this and didn’t run away just shows how dim he really is. The crazy diva demands as a total nobody. The Tom enabled delusions about her childhood activism.
Related: her manipulation tactics are referenced as well. Love the detail on how she “negged” her interviewer on his stutter. Classic pickup artist tactic that all those incels on Reddit love - basically using these little disses that sound like compliments (“You have such a pretty face, you could model if you were skinny”) to diminish someone’s confidence. She is literally one of those creeps.
The sources are just great. The recounting of the VF interview could have only come from the journalist himself, as did the details about what she said directly into the mike. Tom Bower really did say, I HEARD THE TAPES!
Actually, my biggest question to Tom after all this tea is something I hope he will cover in the book. We all know that she had a pretty well stocked team to make her image for her: Sunshine, lawyers, Kruger Crowne. Yes, it is that easy if you hire the right people. The problem is most actors are broke and don’t get access to those people until the studio is paying for them, after they’ve been cast in some things, to promote their next projects. Rarely is a random unknown just paying out of pocket for them. The million dollar question is: who was paying for all this??
Sunshine reps Serena, JLo, Harvey Weinstein at his Miramax heyday. How the %*}}^€ was a f-list actress on a cable show able to afford them? How was she able to command the resources of an A-list star getting studio level promotions and pitching her to big corporations for campaigns?
Some of it I will chalk up to cleverness. For instance, Kruger Crowne is pretty niche. I don’t think it’s that expensive to get set up with random charities and do a few photo ops, and props to her that she figured out these charity photos and events make her look more famous than she is. The problem is she would’ve probably had to pay for the appearances - her own flights, her own everything. She even admitted that during her UN speech she raided the Suits closet. Which is why no other actors rarely go this route, it’s not very useful unless you’re trying to come up with a paper trail for why you’re a 99 cent Princess Diana.
But hiring a full fledged team like Sunshine and lawyers is still a complete mystery to me. That can’t be explained and that’s some Anna Delvey sh*t. Where did the money come from? Cory? Her dad? I don’t event think her entire acting paycheck, even if she mooched off of Cory for all her living expenses, could pay for those services. And that’s not getting into her “fun” money - the money she needed to go out every night and look cute at Soho house, travel to Italy, whatever.
I don’t believe that she was a yacht girl, btw. I think she was amazing about offloading costs and pulling “I’ll pay you later” and mooching off of men she dates. But I’d love it if Tom dug into her money mysteries of exactly how she funded this lifestyle.
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Malex fans came close to their royal wedding on Monday night’s episode of “Roswell, New Mexico,” but in the end, no nuptials occurred. The good news is, they probably still will! According to series stars Tyler Blackburn and Michael Vlamis, a wedding between Alex and Michael is something they’ve wanted as much as the fans have.
“It was about time. I definitely felt that,” Vlamis told TheWrap of learning about this particular storyline. “I’ve been wanting that for a long time secretly, on and off set with Tyler. And so finally, you know, getting it on the show!”
Jokes aside, both Vlamis and Blackburn were pleased to know that the fans would be getting what they want from the writers, one way or another — even if there were some hiccups along the way. Of course, one of those hurdles is a bit more terrifying than the others, considering that Alex was dying from radiation poisoning in the pocket dimension, only to make it out alive and be immediately taken hostage by Clyde. But even so, Blackburn has some words of comfort for the fans, about the wedding that can still be.
“If the writers made this really unhappy ending, I think I would be pissed myself,” he said. “So, I don’t think you have to be too worried.”
You can check out TheWrap’s full conversation with Michael Vlamis and Tyler Blackburn below.
Note: This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity
I do want to start with you, Tyler. I’ve got a little bit of a bone to pick with you. Because here’s the thing: you went missing for a couple episodes, we didn’t see you at all. You come back, and you’re dying. And now you’ve been taken hostage. So why are you trying to stress us out?
Blackburn: (laughs). You know, we just kind of keep it really, really exciting in Roswell. You know what I mean? I feel like that’s always the goal, and the intention is to keep the cortisol levels high.
Vlamis: High highs, lows. That’s the name of the show.
Blackburn: Yeah, I don’t know. I feel like our relationship has always been tumultuous. And it’s like, now that we’ve been living together and we’re actually together, how do we create that sort of uncertainty within the relationship, even though we’re together? I think it kind of helps in that in that way.
Well, you certainly do a great job of keeping the cortisol levels high. More seriously though, you do make it back alive, but radiation poisoning doesn’t just go away, right? So how worried do we actually need to be for Alex here?
Blackburn: I mean, you know, it’s a show of aliens. Anything’s possible. But no, I don’t think you have be too worried. I mean, I don’t — if the writers made this really unhappy ending, I think I would be pissed myself. So I don’t think you have to be too worried. It couldn’t be easy, you know? Nothing can be easy in this world.
Michael, I do want to come to you, tell me your thoughts on this wedding. When you first heard that the engagement was even on the table, even if it is in a pocket dimension in the worst of scenarios, what was your reaction?
Vlamis: It was about time. I definitely felt that. I’ve been wanting that for a long time secretly, on and off set with Tyler. And so finally, you know, getting it on the show! No but, being serious, when I heard that, I just knew how much it would mean to the fans. I mean, there had been speculation that that was going to happen for so long. I’ve always wanted it to. I thought it’s what the relationship deserves you know? It’s been such a saga amongst these two guys. But yeah, I was just happy. It’s just what we deserved, and I had a feeling maybe it was going to be our last season so I was really excited about that, too.
Well, assuming this wedding is still in the plans, let’s talk wedding planning a little bit. What kind of cake will Malex be having?
Blackburn: I mean, I’m trying to think what Alex’s favorite cake would be. I know what mine is, think. I like a devil’s food cake. It also just feels like the genre, you know? No, I don’t know! I think we could get super creative, but I also kind of think they could be just like super simple, and classy together as well. But I don’t know.
Actually, you know, maybe they’re chocolate. Maybe it’s like a layer of chocolate and a layer of something else. Like a mixture of our personalities or something.
Vlamis: Yeah, he’s chocolate, I’m vanilla, but we still get along, you know?
Blackburn: Yeah exactly! We complement each other.
I mean, there’s layers to the relationship. There’s history!
Vlamis: Just like the cake. There we are. There we go, full circle.
Of course, what ends up happening is Guerin calls it off, because he refuses to marry Alex under the awful circumstances, and away from loved ones. It’s kind of this nice sense of security that it is going to happen. Michael, how do you feel about him really kind of making that final decision of like, “We’re going to be OK, so we’re not doing this now”?
Vlamis: I was excited about it primarily from an acting standpoint. It makes it even more interesting to know that you want to marry someone so badly, but deep down, you know it’s just the wrong way to do it. So that was really fun to play. Character-wise, it’s kind of the same thing. Like, give Guerin a mission, he’s gonna go off and have some fun. And that’s exactly what happens in this episode.
You guys touched on it a bit earlier but, I mean, the Malex fans. This is a rabid fanbase, they’re obviously gonna be happy for the engagement. What does it mean to you to be finishing out in this way for them and to have had them for as long as you have?
Blackburn: I think it’s incredible. I mean, as you know from watching “Pretty Little Liars,” I was part of a ship on that show that was really popular. And to feel like a similar magnitude, but with a gay relationship, has always been really exhilarating to me and comforting, actually, personally. So yeah, I think it’s incredible. And I think what Vlamis said earlier just about like, you know, this is what they wanted from the get go. And they’re getting it. You know what I mean? So it made me feel good. It made me feel like we did we did them proud.
Granted, Clyde is still standing in the way of this wedding — and really, everything, considering he now has the powers of every alien Bonnie’s ever kissed, including Michael and Max. What can you tease there?
Vlamis: All I can say is, Clyde gets what he deserves. He gets what’s coming to him.
#tyler blackburn#michael vlamis#vlamburn#malex#alex manes#michael guerin#tjb interviews#mgv interviews#rnm 4x12#rnm spoilers
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That’s the thing. The kid talk is OBVIOUSLY pushed. Obviously. And it’s so damn boring and useless. There’s nothing there. It relates to nothing. Enhances nothing. Interests no one. It’s a non-topic. There’s no story or reason to it. And so therefore it just looks incredibly fake and obsessed about. How many years can the promo be “I have a kid”? Like yeah, me too, and I don’t need to say I took him to a park every work meeting I have. Every single time he brings F up I think of him checking off a box from whoever is still pushing this stunt down his and all of our throats. Yes, 2022 and Louis publicly claims the kid. We got it. It’s wrapped snug around his neck in HD video and heard by thousands. He’s right there claiming it. Keeping it away from whatever sick fucks dreamed this up and making an ending supremely awkward for him. We all get it.
Right? This is where I’m at with it too, anon. It’s a non-topic, exactly.
I don’t have kids and don’t intend to. I love kids, especially my nieces and nephews (including my friend’s kids that call me auntie/tía) but good god I just don’t care for this topic. I especially don’t care to hear a celebrity’s take on parenthood. And I REALLY don’t want to hear Louis talk about this obviously fake situation. I’d rather lick sandpaper, honestly.
With every stunt I just feel like my intelligence is being insulted. And nothing makes me rolls my eyes more than babygate. We have Briana in 4K missing a bump and posting a sonogram from a fertility clinic, among a million other ways they’ve fumbled the ball with that. But okay, right on time with album promo, let’s roll out the kid stories like Louis is the only person to ever have a child. And oh, a convenient photo of him and Oli in a park to go along with that tidbit he just dropped in the newest interview? Like, come onnnnn.
I probably sound more upset than I am. Really I’m just here making this face
and moving on because truly it doesn’t sway me or anyone else on my dash to believe it for even a fraction of a second.
#if I really stop to think about it all over again#it makes me sick and emotional#because it’s such an unfair situation for everyone#most of all that innocent kid#but for my own mental health#I just don’t want to consider it in that way anymore#and just hope Louis and his team will understand how useless this is and scrap it for good#a girl can dream#bg
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Joseph Quinn for The Guardian
Read full interview here.
The Duffer brothers have acknowledged that Eddie is loosely modelled on Damien Echols of the West Memphis Three. Did you research him?
Little bits, but I’m not going to pretend I did a huge amount. I tried grappling with Dungeons & Dragons, but accepted that wasn’t going to happen. Music was my main way in. I listened to a lot of heavy metal – Black Sabbath, Metallica, Dio – and I worked with a brilliant vocal coach called Mary Howland. But 99.7% of the work is that wig.
What did you learn from older cast members such as Winona Ryder and David Harbour, who play Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper?
Unfortunately, I didn’t have many scenes with them but I went for dinner with David and his wife [Lily Allen]. He was gracious and lovely. I was coming back from a party at 2am recently when I got a text which started: “Hey it’s Winona!” I thought, “I can’t sit on this”, so I showed my flatmate. I know I’m in a show with her but I’m still a fan. Winona’s wonderful – a real example of someone who hasn’t been corrupted by Hollywood. She made all us new guys feel welcome.
The climactic two episodes of the series are shrouded in secrecy. Can you tell us about them?
The thing is, they’ve got my family tied up somewhere and if I spoil anything, I’ll never see them again. No, I can say there’s a guitar scene and that the scale and ambition are astonishing. All the seeds that have been planted bear fruit and it’s just carnage. You know the finale is two-and-a-half hours, right? Ending with this monster, feature-length episode is so bold.
Will you be back for the fifth and final season?
I’ll be furious if they don’t bring me back [laughs]. I’d love to, if they’ll have me.
When did you first realise you enjoyed performing?
It was painfully stereotypical. I was an only child of separated parents, which breeds a pathological need for attention. I was never a stage kid being taken to auditions from an early age, but I’d always been curious. At primary school, I became a bit of a showoff. I got a drama scholarship to Emanuel school at Clapham Junction and it was the only thing I had any natural aptitude for. The fact that it’s my bread and butter now is mental.
What do you do when you’re not working?
In a desperate attempt to reconnect with my youth, I started skateboarding again this year. I’ve still got some tricks in my bag but it’s much scarier now. Otherwise, I cook, I exercise and I worry.
I heard that you take your work seriously but don’t take yourself seriously?
Other way around. No, it’s hard to take yourself seriously in a three-ton wig. Anthony Hopkins, who’s a hero of mine, was once asked why he wanted to act for a living. He replied: “Beats work.” This is a fascinating job and, without wishing to sound like a Hallmark card, that’s kind of what I want out of life: an adventure.
#im actually in love with him ew i need to be euthanized wiowowoww#joseph quinn#joe quinn#eddie munson#stranger things#stranger things 4
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It’s funny Murdoc reflects Damon’s adventures IRL considering his dislike of the character, or at least his and Jamie’s intention to keep the character one more in contrast to Cass and others…and even now, he’s been pretty watered down and stale, more easily marketable…funny, considering artistic integrity behind the project was once so high that certain music rewards were refused on that basis, as well as the refusal to let the 2000’s film project be watered down and made safe for kids by every interested executive. They’ve certainly be watered down for and talking down to the TikTok crowd….so many old interviews are funny and sad in hindsight. Oh, sorry for the rambling! I only go off because I and other fans like you care so much, and it feels like the current people behind it just don’t anymore…
That is a phenomena for some people - hating people and/or characters that reflect the flaws or insecurities we see in ourselves haha, so perhaps that's Damon with Murdoc (jk jk...or maybe). I've heard that about that connection since I joined the fandom, but I've never seen the actual interview confirming it. It's come up enough over the years from various other sources that I'm going to keep treating it as if it’s real.
Murdoc being "watered down" is what made him more well-rounded in a sense, which is a weird thing to say, but it's also kind of what happened. I think affirming that he isn't some big scary evil mastermind but actually an insecure and often comically incompetent old man only benefited future analyses. There's so much to pick apart. It also reaffirms his humanity as well as hints that have been in the writing since the beginning. That being said, they definitely made the choice to take that direction with dollar signs in mind rather than investment in Murdoc's character growth. So yeah. But hey, myself and others were validated!
It's definitely been sad seeing their transition to for profit content above all else. Generally, this doesn't bother me too much - I don't care if they want to have some brand deals. However, it does bother me when I see it impact the writing choices (i.e. a shift to only writing for fan service over care for the characters, simplifying the rest of the band etc). I'm sure there are a lot of thoughtful people of all ages on Tiktok, too! (though I still don't agree with the purpose of the app and its reliance on creating high engagement above all else) But the Gorillaz account is definitely targeting a more traffic chasing demographic. It's about profit more than anything atm, I think. I actually just read a book review about this that I'll have to discuss more later. It feels very relevant to this convo.
And no worries! Ramble away. I don't mind discussing unpopular topics here - critique doesn't bother me. I like hearing other perspectives on things I've also thought about.
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