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popculturebuffet · 2 years

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Pirate Month Patreon: Our Flag Means Death: "Pilot" Review (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Yo ho all you happy people! Pirate Month continues.. somehow. With some. The last few weeks have been rough seas, but pirate month sails on. And ironically, into the waters of HBO Max

Yeah after my shockingly popular rant last week, seriously any of you following or coming in from that or just in general

It's great to have you. But yes we're back to the dumpster fire that was once one of the proudest and best streaming services around but is now a self canablizing nightmare that won't go away. I've went from hoping any adaptation went here to hoping many flee in terror and praying some still actually get made. You used to hear me constantly singling disney out for their idiocy

But this somehow tops most of what they've ever done. These shows MIGHT return or someone else might be able to save the company, but for now we're just stuck praying anything we care about dosen't get cannonballed into oblivion and left where it's avaliablity is tenious at best. So why am I reviewing something from the network at the worst possible moment? Simple.. this was planned before. Emma has a busy schedule, so she tends to pick her patreons late unless I ask early, and being a forgetful sort, I can tend to. She's GOOD at it, with her picks having had me review incest civil war laser tag, badly animated sci fi nonsense and this glory

So it was only pure Parker Luck that HBO Max decided to canablize their animation for profit the same week I was set to cover this. But I realized something important: With access uncertain, with HBO max striking randomly and insanely, and with no safe harbor... I have to get off my ass and watch stuff that may be destroyed as soon as the next season is out, and as we've seen with Summer Camp Island it can happen BEFORE too, instead of waiting. Sure this project having a high profile creator attached, being a very high profile queer work , and having a huge fanbase MIGHT be a enough.. but given Logic and tact haven't really entered into this current dumbfuckery, it's best to see the series and review an episode NOW rather than wait and loose it in a tax writeoff next year after season 2.

So several paragraphs and f-you's later, we arrive at our real destination: Our Flag Means Death. And this really has been one i've been meaning to check out for some time: It's produced by Taika Watiti, whose lately become one of my faviorite creators: He's director of the all time cinematic classics What We Do In The Shadows and JoJo rabbit and the fun as hell Thor films Ragnarok and Love and Thunder, and created the excellent What We Do In The Shadows tv show, which is also on the pile. Feel free to boo I know I am, i'm missing peak Matt Berry by being behind on it, as well as producing another show i've heard nothing but good things about, Reservation Dogs. The guy is a genius so while he isn't writer or director here, and his character Blackbeard isn't in this pilot, he clearly picks projects he puts his name on very carefully and if he's remotely involved with something, it's usually a good sign it's awesome. Add in Rhys Dharby who I first fell in love with on flight of the conchords as Murray...

youtube

And while he could've easily stopped with this cult classic I also need to watch (I mostly followe dit via music videos when it was airing and haven't watched it despite having easy access since max launched because i'm stupid and forget it's there), he has since made a sizeable name for him as a voice actor. Seriously while he mostly plays smaller parts he's popped up in TONS of shows since the late 2010's, from Milo Murphy's Law, RIP, to Rise of the TMNT , also RIP, to shows that aren't dead probably. He's played warthogs, snowflakes, gay hypo's, evil pistachios and more but really hasn't as far as I can tell been a leading man in anything. He was important to FOTC, but this seems like the first time the guy has REALLY been let loose and thus that was a huge draw for me.

And i'm happy to say that even before it hits it's peak and becomes a gay love story involving blackbeard, something I didn't know I needed and can't wait to hit as I watch more episodes, Our Flag Means death is an instant classic from the pirate and has finally given Rhys the meaty starring role he's always been capable of. The show is everything I hoped for.

While most of you reading this are likely fans of the show already, a quick refresher for those who aren't as familiar, i.e. Emma most likely: Our Flag Means Death follows Stede Bonnet, based on the real life pirate I know nothing about of the same name, a posh aristocrat who fled his old life to become a pirate, and is trying to clean up piracy a bit: He pays his men wether their succesful or not, and built his ship, the awesomely named The Revenge, with a sauna, rec area, and a personal library he'd be glad to lend out to the crew if any of them besides his assitant, the equally posh Lucius, played by Nathan Foad. Like a large chunk of the cast, i've never heard of him but like said chunk, he's excellent so it really dosen't matter. Steed does compensate by reading the pirates a story every night, as of the pilot Pinnochio. He's essentially trying to run this pirate ship like a modern work place, basically if Micheal Scott and Leslie Knope got combined in some horrible teleporter accident and became a pirate, having the bad need to be loved and have a family and be liked as the other, but like the latter having some compietence, optiism and good intentions, just being too naive to realize how hard ti's going to be to get these through.

Unlike other work coms though, the crew can actually kill their boss if he annoys them too much and the pilot centers around that, with the crew preparing a mutiny, with the only ones not being on board as much being Oluwande, played by Samson Kayo, a kind sort whose fond of the captain even if he's not the best and Jim, a seeming mute great with knives played by Vico Ortiz.. who turns out to be nonbinary. Which is good for me I got spoiled on that as it means I won't get any prounounds long. Though none of the crew is bad, it's just how change is: the rest simply can't accept that stede's way of doing things is PROBABLY better and he just needs to grow into the position, with Oluwande being the only one aware that not only is this much better.. but that it's so rare it' sbest to enjoy it while he lasts. Hey I said he appriacates the captain, I didn't say he was in denial about Stede's odds of survivial. Leading the mutiny is the lisping Black Pete (Matthew Maher) , a wannabe tough guy who claims to have been on blackbeards boat and won't shut up about it and the Jerry from Parks and Rec looking Kristian Nairin as Wee John, a giant who wants to burn things. Naturally I love him.

So to offset the mutiny after several small insignifigant raids, Stede targets the biggest/only ship they can see and with Buttons conformation the crew gets ready to have a bloody good time gettin good and bloody.. but Stede has a full on Panic Attack as we flash back to his past. And this is where the show really got me. See I throughly enjoyed it and was on board to this point, the jokes were that kind of goofy creative type of humor I enjoy from Stede telling everyone to "look scary' to the crew only not killing him at the moment because he's one of the only two people who can read, the only one who can do the voices and they want to know how Pinocchio ends, and Stede deciding the best way to help with disatsifaction at first is a flag design contest. It's truly my kind of show.

But what takes it from really good to great is making stede far more complex than he appears. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind a work just being a goofy comedy. That's fine by me and Producer Watiti did wonders with that with What We Do In The Shadows, which had moments of pathos but was mostly just the story of a bunch of goofy vampires in new zeland and their dark bidding on the interent.

So series creator and showrunner David Jenkins could've kept at that and i'd of been fine.. but he took it one step further without undercutting the wacky tone entirely, which can be tricky but he pulls off well. From here we start seeing pieces of Stede's old life.. and it was miserable. The first flashback here has a butcher working for the family slaughter an animal in front of the kid, tell him not to look away then mock him for being soft.

Which is thinly coded as people bullying him for coming off gay. Spoilers, Stede turns out to be VERY gay., but it's always a dickish thing to do to bully someone for being diffrent and to be a homophobic twitsandwitch.

But we see through later flashbacks in teh ep Stede never fit in: He was bullied at school, chased, called slurs and then had his hands tied to oars and forced to row and at home there was literal distance between him and his family... no seriously he sat at one end while his family sat at the other

Stede was an outsider in his own home, his own LIFE, never accepted by anyone it seemed (other episodes may prove this wrong) and even now trying to find a new family, he's not really accepted. While the metaphor there given Stede is also a gay man and a not tradtionally masculine man, is subtle a knife to the eye, it still works because it dosen't overshadow the story but plays into it. Stede is not conventional.. yet he's a good man and while he may not be a good pirate YET his ideas aren't bad and he has his heart in the right place. I mean until someone cuts it out and holds it up as a trophy but for now he's trying to do the right thing he's just out of his depth. BUt he had no real other options: He coudln't get a divorce, given the century, his family , both immedite and other clearly never got him.. leaving to be a pirate, to try ANYTHING else is better than dying on the inside. He also uses the money he came from well: He gives his men a good wage, a tidy ship, and plenty of supplies. Odds are it'll run out.. but he's trying to do something better and more rich people coudl take a note from this fictional gay pirate and try and be better instead of hoarding wealth or cutting people's lifes works from a platform for 2.50 and an expired free pizza cupon.

Turns out though the ship.. is a HEAVILY armed royal naval warship and our heroes only don't die horribly because the Captain, Nigel Badmitton, a gloriously pompus name, is one of Stede's old bullies and thus dosen't buy the rumors that Stede is a pirate and Stede is able to quickly hide the crew as fellow aristocrats and servants.

The meal though is .. uncomfortable. Not only are the pirates naturally not really happy in the roll of high society snobs, but Badmittons crew are a bunch of racist twits who are unplesant to be around, and Badmittion himself a snobby bully who fondly recalls that incident with the oars I mentioned while the rest of the crew slowly get that "Okay this guy is a dumbass but he's OUR dumbass. " Things naturally break down once Stede is forced to humor badmittion and after one joke too many and Badmittion LAUGHIGN at the idea he could be a pirate, Stede tries braining him with a move Oluwande taught him.. and accidently makes the guy fall on his saber and into his eye

While the rest of the crew has a nice bloody massacre of most of Badmittions men after one's a racist to Oluwande starting with jim throwing a knife through a hand. While we don't see it, by the time Stede gets back to them only two are left alive and he's panicking over the corpse, not ready to have really killed someone, and only accepting it because Oluwande helps him, knowing that admitting to killing the guy will help the crew respect Stede.. which it does. Stede cements he can be badass for more than just accidedental murders by giving the one person they send back the same punishment his now dead captain gave Stede, showing that while Stede is out of his element, has clear trauma and may not be happy killin, which is a fair choice.. he's still got what it takes and thus his crew decides he can live for now. Also Jim's not a man OOOOO ALREADY SPOILED IT, and we end on a really nice bit: it being clear no matter how bad it was stede misses his family and treis to convince himself he's got a new one.. and him reading the crew pinoccio. Never has Rhys Darby reading a bunch of grown men to sleep been so touching.

So yeah Our Flag Means Death, at least the pilot is fucking fantastic. I don't know why the creators previous show failed: this one has style, humor and suprising tragedy, and excells at what it's producer does well: taking a mildly goofy but cool genre and poking fun at it while taking it JUST seriously enough to ground it. Our Flag Means Death is everything I hoped for and more and I highlyr ecommend watching it before it possibly burns. These are uncertain times.. but with Rhys Darby as a gay pirate... they might have some good times hidden in them too.

#hbo max #warner bros discovery #rhys darby #our flag means death #david jenkins #stede bonnet #Youtube

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chameshida · 2 years

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Do you agree with the complaints about Thunder's shape and coloration? I don't necessarily see a problem with either, but a lot of people complain about him being bulbous, some even saying that about the chest area, and I get why people think he should be more white than black, but consider the fact that the black coloration might be a dominant trait. After all, Light Furies are a subspecies.

Kinda yes and no. I don't like Thunder model. simple. I think he's more shaped like RR than night fury, hard to explain in word but like he is taller/higher build compare to NF low built, his legth is shorter, each section of his body is more seperate than the flowly blend together that NF and LF shape feel. He is less steamline. I feel like the contribution to this is also because his default stand is quite different from NF stand. It's uptight. If comparing the model seems unfair then comparing the toy might give the better idea? When he flies he also have his neck held up instead of forming a steamline shape. Might be a weird inaccurate comparison but I feel like his model is like if you put the shape together where as NF are like start from the same shape being carved into that form, does that make sense?

(Though, Thunder has moments of hunching down to make the body more steamline like NF and honestly he looks a lot better when he does that. It's few and far inbetween though)

All this which I did speculated that it's due to stylize difference at first as I have pointed out that his 2d rendition is more shaped like NF but then more dragons that has the same style and design as the first series and movies come up and now I'm not so sure anymore

That being said. I don't actively hating it either, seeing him in motion and three season in and he's not as bad or the worst thing in the world as people made it out to be. He still feel like a fury and it's not like Toothless from the series didn't suffer every disease too. (compare to the movie at least) I dislike series toothless as much.

Going back to the topic of shape, and the "no" part of my answer. I don't have problem with Thunder's sharper shapes (wing tip, tail, or even the shorter wingspan). I feel like that's a deliberate design decision. Instead of making a recolored night light as the main character, they make a specific shape and body for him that play well with what they're going for him. It's like what they do with LF too, make a specific shape for her. Thunder is given a sharper NF shape that invoke the feel of thunder and I respect that. I like that they do that for him(and I still hold on to him being skrill relative) and although I hate the snout I think that part is deliberate as well.

weird chest? yeah I noticed but it didn't bother me much. As for color. Eh I heard that even the original three night light color isn't scientifically accurate either so I've never care about applying that logic, you know. Dreamwork isn't make him black with the intention that he's the product of incest. The Night lights in the third movie enable them the possibility of black and white NF and they just go with it without thinking too much about scientific. Same with how Nightlight being a hybrids enable them to create more hybrids despite the dragons not looking compatible. the door of possiblity simply just open and they took it and run with it.

TLDR; Don't like the model but don't have problem with the overall design. If he's in other medium that's not that 3d model, like maybe I draw him while keeping all the design, then he's alright to me.

#long post #httyd ask #thunder #the nine realms #httyd #how to train your dragon #night fury #httyd nine realms #httyd the nine realms #dragons the nine realms #dragons: the nine realms

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writteninsunshine · 2 years

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Lonely Machines Chapter 1/20 - Implied Cash/Barbie, No Major Ships - SFWish

Title: Lonely Machines

Author: Keith

Fandom: Helluva Boss

Setting: Various

Pairing: Fizzarolli/Asmodeus | Ozzie, Blitzo/Stolas Goetia, Barbie Wire/Cash Buckzo/Paimon Goetia

Characters: Fizzarolli, Blitzo, Barbie Wire, Cash Buckzo, Asmodeus | Ozzie, Mammon, Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character(s), Stolas Goetia, Paimon Goetia, Octavia Goetia, Stella Goetia

Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort/Humor/Angst

Rating: E

Chapters: 1/20

Word Count: 4036

Type Of Work: Chapter Fic, Main Fic For The I’m Gonna Make Tonight A Show Series

Status: Incomplete

Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, MLM, M/F, AU - Canon Divergent, AU - Omegaverse, AU - A/B/O, AU - Washed Up AU, Alcohol, Alcoholic, Unrequited Love, One-Sided Blitzo/Fizzarolli, Violence, Blood, Angst, Sexual Situations, Incest, Father/Daughter Incest, Parent/Child Incest, Age Gaps, 35 Year Age Gap, Barbie and Blitzo and Fizzarolli are 23, Cash is 58, Stolas is 25, Ozzie is Timeless but roughly 6000, Mentioned Striker/Stella, One-Sided Blitzo/Fizzarolli, More To Come

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except Brick, Nikiva, and Chastity.

Summary: When one door closes, another opens.

Chapter Summary: Alcohol was a mask to fix their broken lives, but it was a mask that fit their problems perfectly.

AN: Hey guys, it’s me again! Just thought I ought to say, if you want vague updates and to talk to me more, I have a writing Tumblr, too! Twitter is Sunshinecackle, and Tumblr is Gimme-A-Thrust! I also have a writing Discord that is currently pretty dead. xD If you want it, please contact me on Tumblr/Twitter!

Do I need all of these ‘How They Met’ Fizzarozzie AUs? Probably not. Do I have more than five of them I want to do? Absolutely.

NOTE: This fic inspired my love for Cash/Barbie and I leaned into it hard. Paimon/Cash/Barbie came later and it’s not leaving. All three ships are featured HEAVILY and CONSTANTLY through this fic.

Lonely Machines Chapter Masterlist

Helluva Boss Fic Masterlist

Chapter One: Psycho-Somatic

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“Nah, he’s still here.” Barbie turned to glance over at their friend, a firm frown on her lips as she sighed and shook her head. With one hand on the chunky old brick of a phone, and the other on her hip, she rolled her eyes, “No, Blitz, and you know he’s not.” Biting her tongue for a second as she listened to her twin, her eyes slowly rolled back up to the top of the tent and stayed glued there. Her hips shifted, and she swapped the phone to her other hand; Fizzarolli glanced up at the movement and grimaced.

“...I wouldn’t if I were you.” She said it slowly, annunciating every syllable like he was slow, and in her opinion, he was, especially about this. Whatever he said next made her point to her open mouth, closing her eyes while she stuck her tongue out. The thinner clown rose from the trunk he’d been digging in with an uncomfortable smile on his face, something that meant sympathy for her. So far, he’d heard the entire conversation, and he knew what was going to happen when Blitzo got home.

Really, Barbie felt pretty damn sorry for him. Fizzarolli got the worst part of Blitzo’s obsessive interests, and her brother either couldn’t or wouldn’t listen to him. It wasn’t like he really ever heard anyone talk but himself, but he made it Fizz’s problem more often than not. There had been a time when their friend had liked pirates, horses, balloon animals, and clowning, even, but… Whatever Blitzo loved, he squeezed until the head popped off, so as to say there wasn’t any life left to it for anyone else.

Fizzarolli had dealt with it more than Barbie had because she often made a big deal about not being into whatever Blitzo was. She’d talk circles around him until he left her alone, and sometimes even forgot she existed, but Fizz? Maybe he had always been Blitzo’s most obsessive interest. If it wasn’t seeking approval, it was always at least seeking attention that Blitzo was good at, and if nobody else would listen, Fizzarolli was an excellent captive audience.

As far as she knew, Fizz was just trying to keep the peace. They lived and worked together, and they had for a very long time, and likely would always live and work together. Being dirt poor didn’t give anyone very good prospects for climbing up, though if anyone could escape, it would probably be him. She and Blitzo were mediocre at best, and she wasn’t afraid to say as much. Fizzarolli was the crowd-pleaser, he was the end-all-be-all in this circus, it was almost like he was born for the big top.

Their father had always warned Blitzo not to chase him off, had smacked him around a few times for it on several occasions, and she’d had to stay silent. Blitzo’s best excuse had always been that they were best friends, that there wasn’t anything that could come between them, but Barbie had her doubts. Maybe more than her fair share, but right now, she really didn’t think so.

Her smile had been an attempt at being comforting, but with the way she felt her face move, it probably looked like she was about to throw up. Blitzo had filled their conversation all alone, as he was wont to do, but when she didn’t respond to him right away, he barked at her.

“What? …Shut up, Blitz, don’t be a fucking prude.” She snapped right back, narrowing her eyes as she turned away from Fizzarolli, stalking further into the tent, “Oh– No– So– Can’t hea– Break– Bli–”

The same old song and dance, he observed. Whenever Barbie didn’t want to talk to Blitzo on the phone anymore, she’d fake the death of their signal. As much as she loved him, sometimes she couldn’t stand him, and she never so much as tried to hide it. In a way, Fizzarolli envied that about her. She’d call Blitzo an asshole, he’d call her a bitch, they’d yell for a bit, and then everything would be fine ten minutes later.

Every time he’d tried to put his own feet down, draw his line in the sand, and carve out his own boundaries, Blitzo erased them around him. Judging by Barbie’s stilted speech when she was stopped by her father before returning, he guessed she knew what was coming. While he didn’t catch what they were saying, he knew her voice was different, uncomfortable in a way he couldn’t quite pinpoint. Then again, being around Cash didn’t really make anyone feel all that safe.

Arguably, he was kindest to Barbie out of the kids, though. She was Daddy’s Little Girl and Fizzarolli was the Cash Cow, which sort of left Blitzo in an awkward position.

Not as awkward as the one he was going to get into when he got home that night, however.

When Barbie returned to her friend, she noted that he hadn’t moved from where he sat on his ankles in front of the costume trunk. Her expression melted and she sashayed over in a more muted way than usual, dropping to kneel beside him before copying his position, her hands in her lap.

“He’s doing it again, isn’t he?” Fizzarolli’s voice was quiet, his head bowed, and her heart sank. While it was accusatory in its own way, he said it with such disappointment in his tone that telling him almost felt crueler than lying about it.

“You know he calls for you before every match.” She didn’t know what else to say, “Says he needs his favorite cheerleader.”

“I’ve never gone, though.”

“I… Know. I think he’s hoping you’ll give that up if he pesters you enough about it. You know, like he always does.” Like you always do.

They sat in pensive silence for a moment, and she bit her lip, wondering if maybe she should have kept her mouth shut. Just because she knew he always did it didn’t mean she had any right to point it out. Fizzarolli likely knew exactly what she meant, but if he didn’t want to talk about it, she wouldn’t push him.

“Sorry, Fizz, I–”

“No, no. No, you’re right.” Those little hands of his curled into fists against his thighs, and she tilted her head, turning to give him a quizzical look, “He always does this, and he never listens to me. If I’ve told him once, I’ve told him a thousand times that blood is disgusting, and what does he always do?”

“...show up after a fight battered and bloody and expect you to swallow your disgust and fix it for him?” Barbie’s words, right as they were, only seemed to incense him further.

“Yeah– Yeah, he does. I don’t care if it’s an accident, I can help him with that. Whenever he falls or gets…” Barbie flinched, dropping her eyes at the implication, and neither of them needed him to say it, “...It’s different if he’s looking for a fight.”

“Yeah… I don’t know what he’s thinking.” Barbie wished she could play the Freaky Twin card but they’d never been close enough for that, “Whatever it is, it’s probably that you’re going to stay by him no matter what. You’ve uh, never really told him ‘no.’”

“He doesn’t accept when I tell him ‘no,’' The growl in his voice had her eyes on him again, and she blinked, “It doesn’t matter how many times, or ways, or… Or…” Tears pricked his nose and he wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, tensing for a second when her hand came to rest on his shoulder. More words poured into his mouth but every last one died on his tongue, and when his lips parted, an ugly sob tore from them instead. Jerking to the side, he clung to his friend tightly, taking her by surprise with the suddenness of it all. Angry to crying? Or so angry that he had to cry?

“Hey, hey,” Her voice was soft, gentle, something that most people didn’t get out of her. Pulling him close, she rubbed a hand over his back, tutting at him a little as she shook her head, “No, look, he isn’t worth your tears… You have every right to be mad at him, yanno? You never give him the shit he deserves from you. I think it’s about damn time you stick up for yourself, Fizz. You’re twenty-three, now, and if you…” Her tone grew dark, and she let a low growl sink into her voice, “If you don’t say something to him, then I will. Because this is bullshit.”

And she felt partially responsible. It wasn’t like she knew it was this bad, but she definitely had never stepped in before. Maybe she should have sooner.

Of course, her admittance (or was it a threat?) only made his tears flow harder, and his shoulders quaked as she gathered him into her lap. While she couldn’t say she was the best at handling other people crying around her, she’d always been better at dealing with it if it was from her boys. Blitzo, though, had been booted from the club for the night, at least, for what he was doing to Fizzarolli. The guy was apparently pretty fucked up over it if he was sobbing like this, and that wasn’t going to fly tonight.

“Okay, uh, I… H-how about this?” Barbie’s head swung from side to side as she tried to take in what was available to her right now. The brown glass bottle on the dresser caught her eye, and she glanced back down at the quivering, wet imp dampening her top, before sighing, “I’ll share some of my stash with you. Just… You know. You deserve it.”

“Your… Y-your stash…?” Fizz slowly lifted his head enough that he could shift his eyes up to look at her, and she gave him the best attempt at a kind smile she had in her.

“Yeah, Fizz, you’re like a brother to me. Of course, I’d share with you.”

“...You’d n-n-never sh-share with Bli-Blitzo…”

She cringed, but he was right.

“You’re like the brother I don’t want to punch.” She finally chirped, gently scooting him back to his own knees. Rising to her feet, she tossed the box of tissues on the dresser at him, “Clean yourself up, yeah? You were crying pretty hard.” His eyes fell to his lap as he wiped at his face, blew his nose several times, and rubbed his fists into his teary eyes. She left him to go to the small trailer she shared with her father, as Blitzo didn’t really stay with them anymore, digging into the depository of booze she kept under the bench seat at the table.

It took her a little longer than she’d intended to get back to him, but when she did, he had a nice little pile beside him, and an empty box of tissues he was slowly dropping them back into. The odd despondency in every movement made her wish that she’d stayed a little bit more sober on her way back from the trailer. Stumbling on her little hooves, she whooped as she finally tipped over beside him, ending up on her ass. His surprised yelp shocked her more than the ground rising up to meet her, and she grinned at him.

“Hey, hey, pretty boyyyy, no more sad,” She purred, leaning over with the bottle in her hand, “I found… I found the good one. Tastes like caaaaaaandyyyy~” The way Barbie was already swaying while leaning on him had Fizzarolli a little more tense than he felt was normal, even if he never felt all that anxious around her. He’d been about ready to pull back when the Omega wrapped her arms around his neck, and she crawled into his lap, this time. Holding the bottle by his nose, she wiggled it a little, giggling when his nose wrinkled up, “No, no, it’s for drinking. Smells like gasoline.” The way she said it almost made it sound like a joke, but… She wasn’t wrong.

“It really does, B…” He mumbled, closing his eyes, “I don’t think I–” But as he spoke, she pushed the bottle tighter against his lips and tipped it back. He sputtered loudly, but enough of it hit his tongue that he tasted it. As his muscles drew tight, his stomach lurched and for a second he thought he might throw up, but instead, his mouth fell open a little more. Two gulps managed to go down his throat before he gagged and his last one ended up all down the front of both of their shirts.

“Eewwwwwwwwwwwwww, bitch, you iiiiiicky~” She cackled, giggling shortly after as she pressed in closer to the Alpha’s body, resting her cheek on his shoulder for a moment, “‘S’okay, ‘S’kay. It’s okay. Not everyone’s good at it the first time.” Her tone was soothing despite the clear amusement in it, and he was sure he felt her lips drag against his shoulder as she lifted her head again.

The bottle and the hand wrapped around it had fallen into her lap, and she blinked a couple of times as she lifted it to her lips like it surprised her. After taking a few pulls from it, she took one of Fizzarolli’s hands and wrapped it tightly around the neck of the cherry red glass. With a few vague gestures with her arms, she bid him to drink, cheering for him with a giggling belch when he finally brought it to his mouth. For a second, discomfort colored his scent, but she shook her head, taking his cheeks in her hands.

“Noo, no, we don’t do that, do we?” She clicked her tongue at him, shaking her head, blinking a few times before closing her eyes entirely, squeezing her whole face inward. When she opened her eyes again, it was as wide as she could, her mouth falling open as well, “C’mon, Fizz, it heeelps, trust me~ It’s how I deal with Blitzo, too~” The sing-songed promise had him glancing back into the bottle before sighing.

“Okay, okay… Y-Yeah. Okay.” Finally, the Alpha took the bottle in both hands, arms encircling the Omega in his lap. Closing his eyes, he sucked in a deep breath before finally sighing and knocking his head back. Pouring a decent amount of it straight down his throat, he gagged and choked after he hit his limit. Barbie would have liked to see him swallow more, but when he panted and his chest heaved when he was finished, she seemed pleasantly appeased.

“Feel better, sweetheart?” She asked, moving to lay her face against his neck once more. He hiccupped a couple of times, absently thumbing his shirt over his ribcage, before just nodding dumbly. Passing the bottle back to her, he went still for a second when she leaned into him a bit more for her next drink. Yelping suddenly as his weak, shaking arm gave way behind him, they ended up in a dazed puddle of limbs and booze on the dirt floor of their clown alley. At first, the air was thick with the tension-filled anxiety they’d been contending with minutes before, and Barbie held her breath, plastered against his chest, and listened for any telltale signs of… Something. Bad, that was all she could really figure that she was waiting for. Bad.

And then something else blossomed in the alcohol-soaked earth that took her by surprise. A loud bark of a laugh left Fizzarolli, jostling her a little more against the Alpha’s stomach, and after a second’s confusion, she joined him. Rolling into the dirt beside him, she pillowed her head on his shoulder, and they shifted from manic laughter to disjointed giggles and back again. There wasn’t a word spoken between them for what felt like ages, just soft laughing and the occasional tongue sliding into the bottle they had depleted hours previous to try and chase out a few more drops.

“Barbie? Dad’s looking fo– Fizz?!”

How long had time crawled on after they had settled like a city against the dust, unmoving except for the occasional shift of nonsensical jokes between them if Blitzo’s voice rang out overhead? Two pairs of pink eyes shifted up to meet the battered Alpha above them, and Barbie was the first one to try and sit up. For what it was worth, Fizzarolli did try, lifting his head and then rolling unsuccessfully onto his side. Half on his hip and half on his back, he twisted to get his other arm underneath her shoulders, hoping to get her up onto her butt.

“Are– Are you both fucking drunk?” Blitzo narrowed his eye sharply, the right one already being swollen shut from the fight he’d signed up for. His lip was split, and blood was smeared over his face and busted knuckles. The shirt he wore was tight, sealed to his red and white skin by sweat and blood alike, and Barbie absently reached over to Fizzarolli’s face.

“Ow! Shit!” Suddenly lurching to the other side, Fizzarolli’s hands flew to his eye, and Barbie sheepishly crawled after him with a ‘shit, sorry!’ on her tongue that sounded almost genuine. Then again, Blitzo didn’t think she knew how to be genuine when she was drunk, if only because she was always so brutally honest that he didn’t think she could really feel that way.

“Yeah, so what?” Barbie finally asked, and the two Alphas alone with her had to pause and glance at her. She blinked a couple times before offering a soft, queasy smile, “We’re both fucking drunk. We’re drunk, Fizz. So fuckening… Fucking… So drinky.” Back to giggling, she collapsed back against his side, resting her chin on the curve of his waist. Blitzo gaped at them for a solid minute, watching as his best friend slowly arched and twisted around to hold her close to his chest again.

“What are you guys drinking for?” Blitzo knew Barbie’s excuse could be literally anything from an actual reason to a snorted ‘your mom,’ but as far as he knew, Fizzarolli had never had a single drop of alcohol in his body, ever. For any reason.

Fizzarolli dealt with his problems the same way he dealt with anything else; Practice. When he was happy, he practiced, when he was sad, he practiced, when he was frustrated, he practiced, when he felt anything at all and a show wasn’t coming up? Practice, practice, practice.

“We jus’... And he… Then I was like…” Barbie all but flopped entirely onto her friend’s chest, and Fizzarolli caught her a few seconds too late, clutching her tightly to his chest. She lay on her back, arched over him like she’d been made for it, and it had Blitzo’s eyes narrowing.

“It’s okay, B.” Blitzo bristled when Fizzarolli called her that so easily, watching his slow wiggling until he could help her sit up on her own. Turning to look up at his best friend, the slimmer Alpha offered a little, secretive smile, “Help me g-get her to… The uh, the… To the thing, and we’ll get ‘er to bed and…” He shivered a little bit as her nails drug over his arm, and he flopped over onto his stomach into a push-up position, “And then I’ll pick you up.”

“Pick me up?” Blitzo stooped to scoop his sister into his arms, forgoing putting her on her delicate hooves and just cradling her lithe form against his chest, “What–”

“Shhhh, shh, shh.” Fizzarolli leapt to his feet, unused to the resistance that his sudden lack of balance offered him as he stumbled back into the dresser behind him, “‘S okay, Blitz… Just… Jusshhhh.” Holding out what was probably meant to be a finger at his lips, the slimmer imp just grinned at him. Blitzo was pretty sure there was no need for the sign of the horns in his insistent shushing, but he couldn’t help but return that grin regardless.

The other Alpha had no right to be so fucking adorable but now wasn’t the time, not with the way Barbie was nudging her face into his neck and babbling.

“Do you uh, have it? For a sec? I’ll just drop her off.” Blitzo blurted, watching Fizzarolli’s head lifting suddenly to look at him in surprise; He apparently didn’t know that he hadn’t been looking at him, because the sudden sight of Blitzo and Barbie standing a few feet in front of him seemed shocking.

“Uh-huh, yeah.” Fizz should be collecting the first aid kit, anyway, he thought absently, though he couldn’t quite remember where it was. Watching Blitzo carry his sister off, he turned slightly, deciding that the drawers on their would-be vanity were probably as good a bet as any for the kit to be hiding in.

“I can’t believe you got him drunk.” Blitzo admonished quietly, and Barbie just laughed at him.

“He’s a better time when he is than you are.” She jeered, poking her brother in the face, “Fizz’s cool ‘n junk, and he needed it. You fuuuuuuuucked uuuuuuuuuuup~” She trilled as her grin threatened to take over her face, and the Omega stuck her tongue out at him before an abnormally long blink stole her attention.

“I did not, you’re just jealous that he’s my friend.” To say that he’d never really grown out of his childish denial about being wrong wasn’t wrong, and the Omega just poked both corners of his mouth with her claws, head tilting.

“Whateeeeeever, Blitzo, I’m not the one that fucked up.”

Except that maybe she had.

When Blitzo passed her over to their father and was subsequentially shooed from the trailer, he did his best to ignore what he knew would be happening. Ever since what had happened with their mom, things had gotten weird, and he didn’t want to think about it.

Approaching Fizzarolli in clown alley once more, he tilted his head as he watched his friend shifting the same couple of shirts this way, then that, and sigh, only to do it again.

“What are you doing?” His confusion was written into his voice, and when Fizzarolli finally looked up at him, it was with a thoughtful sigh. Expression clearing up seconds later, he saw the red medical bag clutched in Blitzo’s claws, and he rose back to his feet. It was still so weird to see Fizzarolli stumbling around like that, but he figured he could try and ignore it for now.

“I was lookin’ fer this.” Tapping the zippered bag in the other’s hands, Fizzarolli tugged Blitzo over to the stool they usually took turns using for their makeup between shows. Waiting for him to sit, he ignored the starry-eyed stare his friend kept trained on his face, taking the first aid kit and opening it up. All he needed to do was clean up the blood, really, right? Wipe him down with a cloth or… He didn’t have that. What he did have were baby wipes.

“Why were you drinking?” Blitzo really needed to know, but Fizzarolli’s index finger pressed against his lips and he shook his head, shushing him again, “What the Hell? What’s with the shushing?”

“Horses like it.” Fizzarolli’s matter-of-fact statement shut his busted-up friend up pretty quickly, and he sat there and gawked as he was half-carefully cleaned up and left smelling ‘powder fresh’ with a wide eye. After the wipe grazed his top eyelid, he closed it, letting the other clown work over his skin.

“I… Are you okay?”

“Shhhhhhhhhh, no talking, clown horsie.” Fizzarolli neighed for him for the first time since they were kids, and Blitzo figured that, maybe, things weren’t so bad. As long as this was an isolated incident, then things would be fine. They’d be normal, even.

Granted, Blitzo was pretty enthusiastic about joining his friend on the couch in his trailer that night, holding him against his chest and purring him to sleep. Maybe a couple of these drunk nights would be cool because it opened the other clown up to his affection with no need for a confession in the morning.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

AN: I have no idea where this is going exactly, though I have an idea and some scattered scenes in mind for it. With any luck, we can keep it going, I’m having a lot of fun with this dumb idea. Here’s to the next one!

#Helluva Boss Fanfic #Helluva Boss Fanfiction #Implied Cash x Barbie #One-Sided Blitzo x Fizzarolli #CWs in the fic

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flutterskies-hd · 2 months

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Welcome to the FlutterSpace

THIS SERIES IS NOT FOR ANYONE BELOW MY AGE (16), CONTAINS TRIGGING TOPICS

I'm flutterskies-hd and I've had some pretty rough moments in my life so I made this fanfiction to cope. I love MLP and Creepypastas centering around the media have always been intriguing to me so I decided to join the fray.

Before we start, please keep your own mental health in mind and assess yourself properly. As much as I want this fanfic to help others like myself to cope, don't read this if you're prone to breakdowns of any kind

Secondly, everything you'll read on this blog is my own personal and real traumas and I ask you to please respect that knowledge.

Third, despite this series containing real life events, it will not contain the names or physical descriptions of the people involved, instead, they will be replaced with MLP characters similar to their likeness

Fourth, because this is derived from my life, certain MLP characters (most of them) will not completely match their in-media colourful horse counterparts, which isn't really far off from most MLP horrors (ie. .mov series) lol

Yes, I've had good moments in my life but this is a VENT SERIES!

Now onto the warnings, this series contains:

Physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, attempted murder, bullying, cyberbullying, self harm, suicidal motifs, depression, obsession, parental conflict (arguing), emotional incest, implied racism, implied p3d0 fetish (you wont see much of that, its one line of dialogue), slight sa(?), attempted poisoning, mentions of ED, Gaslighting, sexually violent fantasies (as a trauma response), arguing, Dissociation, memory loss

The Plot + Chapter links

a disabled nine year old named Fluttershy starts her second year at a new school and meets a shy girl named Rainbow Dash who's two years her senior. The pair become fast friends, at least in Fluttershy's mind. When the pair bond over their abusive upbringings, things take a turn for the worst.....

https://www.tumblr.com/flutterskies-hd/749030584890818560/bound-part-1?source=share

#fluttersky #flutterskies #fanfcition #mlp g4 #mlp fan fiction #mlp creepypasta #mlp horror #fluttershy #fluttershy mlp #vent tw #vent fiction

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juleworm · 1 year

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Hiii I saw your post about Punk 57 and the main reason i liked it because it basically took me a day to read. I went in knowing it reads like a Wattpad fic so I kinda just didn't really deep dive into anything and just read it for what it is. I cringed and the spicy parts and kinda skipped over those. But Misha is basically every guy I've ever had a thing for soo idk kinda had a soft spot for him. Hated ryen she was the worst. Idk I wasn't obsessed it wasn't my favorite idk why it's being hyped on social media but i liked it probably would not read again. I gave it a 3/5 on goodreads

hellooo!! thank you so much for letting me know! i genuinely was curious and i'm glad you didn't take it as an offense, haha.

i think i understand liking misha to an extent? i agree, ryen is rather insufferable LMAO but i can understand having a soft spot for misha. i just think he was so unnecessarily mean for no real good reason if that makes sense. he also had no reason to string ryen along like that, i think he should have been up front from the start. could've avoided a LOT of the major plot point dilemmas.

and i agree, it took me about a day or a day and a half to read it as well. i think part of the issue for me was, like you said, it's written like a wattpad fanfic and had i known that, i probably would have been more patient and less scrutinizing with it. i don't think it lives up to the hype on social media; either that, or social media just isn't elaborating or reflecting better about what the book is and why they liked it, if they like it to embrace the cringe or whatever.

i didn't mind the spicy scenes that much, but there were definitely a few moments where it was... interesting to say the least hahah. i think i gave it a 2 when i first finished it because iirc i didn't mind the ending ( it's been a while though, i'm not sure if that was why or not or if the ending actually is good but i can't remember why else i rated it higher when i first finished it ) but i think i bumped it down to a 1.5 a few days later the more i thought about it.

i just felt like nothing really happened. it was like 300 pages of just vague plot and confusing characters and a really cool plot idea that just failed in execution. i mean the bullet point summary of pen pals for 7 years having a sudden fall out and then the trope of one of them knowing the other but not acting on it sounds so fucking cool and that's why i read it but something about the actual book and how it turned out just felt so... odd to me. i can't really place it.

i dunno. i think i should just admit that penelope douglas's writing style just doesn't agree with me for some reason. i liked credence well enough for it's characters; i LOVED kaleb, he's one of my favorite book characters ever as far as characters go, but i could never get over the plot and how it was all like... almost incest and they'd mention it every once in a while so it was sort of impossible to just forget about it. every scene with jake made my skin crawl. i feel like penelope is just rather overhyped in general for some reason.

i sort of want to read devil's night, have you read that series? i see people saying it's really good and that it's her best work, but after credence and punk 57 i'm... apprehensive at best hahah.

thanks again for the ask! really appreciate it!! :)

#// punk 57 spoilers

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mianavs · 3 years

Text

Thicker Than Water // PART 02

tags // haruchiyo sanzu x f!reader, historical!au, dark content (incest), smut, manipulation, implied grooming, morally grey characters, oral f!receiving, somnophilia, toxic relationships, inspired by the tv series El Cid, scheming, fight for a throne, period-typical sexism, takeomi akashi, senju akashi, manjiro “mikey” sano, minor mickey x senju, yuzuha shiba, ken “draken” ryuguji, yasuhiro muto, ran haitani, emma sano

note // new characters are introduced, y/n works to overcome her newest obstacle, haruchiyo shows his true colors, and pieces start falling into place

wc // 7k+

extras // playlist masterlist @planetonet @tometpd

PART 02 // ALLIANCES

Marriage

At the best of times, it had been a joke between you and your father where he would list off names of eligible noblemen and you would either laugh or scrunch up your nose in disgust. Your reactions had always brought a smile to his face, and if he’d had enough to drink, would draw out that booming laughter you had loved so much.

At the worst of times, it had been used as a threat by your father whenever you overstepped your bounds and criticized his decisions or challenged your brother, Takeomi. It had been during those heated encounters that you’d been reminded of your complicated relationship with your father.

As you’d realized from the moment you stepped foot into his solar, Takeomi wasn’t your father. His naming of Ran Haitani as your betrothed was neither a joke nor a threat—It was a promise. One that made your blood run cold as you struggled to come up with an excuse. You reached for the chalice of watered-down wine and took a tentative sip while you crafted your response.

“While I’m not opposed to marriage, Your Majesty, I’m afraid Haruchiyo still needs me.”

Takeomi’s head tilted slightly and his mouth curled into a smirk. “Oh, is that so?”

“Yes, he hasn’t fully assimilated into life here at court. I’m sure you’re also aware of his occasional… episodes.” You replied, setting down the brass cup, “and you and I both know only I can calm him down when he gets that way.”

Taking a large bite of bread, Takeomi chewed while his eyes bore into you, amusement dripping from them. You did your best to appear unaffected, but the topic of your marriage had completely disarmed you.

“I think you overestimate yourself, little sister.” Takeomi countered, swirling the wine in his cup. “As far as I know, you had that control over him, but that’s not the case anymore.”

“I assure you‒”

He interrupted you by slamming his cup on the table. Droplets of wine spilled on his hand before trickling onto the table. You flinched at his sudden outburst, and the unspoken words died on your tongue when you saw the grave expression on his face.

“You will marry Haitani as soon as he sets a date and do your duty as a princess of this kingdom. I will deal with our little brother.

Takeomi left no room for argument as he glowered at you. It was the same face you’d seen many times in your youth whenever you bested your older brother and one you had always responded to with a triumphant smirk.

Unfortunately, the days when you could openly defy your older brother ended when the Archbishop placed the crown on his head, so you donned the most pleasant smile you could muster.

“As you wish, Your Majesty.”

You left Takeomi’s solar as soon as you could, rushing to the small chapel you frequented. Your tumultuous feelings were kept hidden underneath a mask of haughty indifference that you kept as you passed servants and courtiers roaming the keep’s walls, maintaining the dignified image you’d perfected over the years. It wasn’t until you stepped inside the empty chapel and closed the large wooden door behind you, that you discarded your mask and let your emotions bubble to the surface in the form of angry tears, shaky breaths, and balled fists.

Iron candelabras faintly illuminated the small chapel you used whenever you needed to clear your head and pray. It was abandoned for the most part, except for a few servants that frequented it only to scurry out whenever you entered. Wiping away your hot tears and taking deep breaths, you made your way to the plain wooden altar at the front that only held three candles and an opened prayer book. Falling to your knees at the nearest pew, you peered up at the effigy on the wall and clasped your hands together.

While you had never considered yourself a religious woman, one observance you actively practiced was that of prayer, and you did so solely for the calming effect it had. The various prayers Father Shiba drilled into you over the years always gave you the peace of mind you needed to plan out your next steps. So as you finished up your hushed prayer, you tried to remember everything you knew about Ran Haitani.

He was the elder of two brothers who were frequently at court due to the proximity of their family seat, Roppongi Castle. The Haitani family was also one of the oldest in the land which meant they had plenty of power in the forms of money and influence. Yet despite their power and presence at court, you’d only exchanged greetings with the two men due to their withdrawn demeanors. You tried to wrack your brain for tidbits of information you might’ve forgotten but could find none.

Ran Haitani was essentially a stranger to you; a fact that needed to change if you were to turn your marriage from an obstacle into an opportunity.

The wooden door creaked open and you started mumbling a prayer under your breath while listening closely to the footsteps coming up behind you. They were light and skittish across the stone floor. Ones you recognized almost immediately, allowing you to lower your guard and cease your prayer.

“Apologies for interrupting, Your Highness,” Yuzuha Shiba, your most-trusted lady-in-waiting, said as she sank into a curtsy.

You unclasped your hands and held one out to her so she could help you up to your feet. Once on your feet, you respectfully inclined your head to the effigy before turning to your lady.

“Well, what is it?”

“It is time for your monthly rounds, ma’am. You told me to remind you yesterday.” The willowy woman nervously replied, tucking a loose strand of ginger hair behind her ear. “I can always wait outs‒”

“There’s no need,” you sighed, stepping away from the pew. “I’ve already finished. Let us start with the castle’s keep and then make our way to the outer court.”

“As you wish,” Yuzuha stated, pulling out the leather-bound ledger of the castle’s inventory and finances.

Ever since your first bleeding, the ledger had become your responsibility along with the rest of the castle’s upkeep as the unofficial mistress of the castle—a seat that had been empty since your mother’s death. It was a responsibility you took with great seriousness and thoroughly enjoyed doing, as it proved your capability of managing hundreds of people as well as the castle’s budget. But with your upcoming engagement, the ledger’s importance had dwindled to that only of a woman running a man’s household.

The dilemma of your marriage to Ran swirled around in your mind as you stalked to the chapel’s door with Yuzuha in tow when a sudden realization dawned on you. Whirling around until your confidante’s bewildered face came to view, you placed all of your hope into the question that left your lips.

“Your younger brother, Count Hakkai, is connected to the Haitani brothers is he not?”

Yuzuha’s expression changed to one of caution as she slowly nodded. “Yes, Highness, Hakkai is business partners with His Grace and is a long-time acquaintance of Lord Rindo.”

You didn’t bother hiding your pleased smile as you placed your hands on her shoulders. “I have a favor to ask of you, dearest Yuzuha.”

Her eyes flickered with caution as she peered at you but a gentle squeeze from you erased any apprehension on her face. “I shall do everything in my power to do your bidding.”

“I trust you, Yuzuha, which is why what I tell you must be kept between you and me. Is that understood?”

Your hands tightened over her shoulders as your eyes bore into her golden eyes. If your grip was too tight, Yuzuha’s face gave no indication as she stubbornly held your gaze and nodded fervently.

“I swear I’ll tell no one, ma’am.”

You smoothed over her wrinkled sleeves and released her. “The King has arranged a marriage for me with Ran Haitani. I’d like to meet with him to find out what his motives are. Would you be able to discreetly arrange a meeting with him?”

Yuzuha averted her gaze while you waited for her answer with bated breath.

“If Your Highness permits, I should be able to set it up today. My brother is meeting with the duke later.”

At her response, your entire body relaxed and you sighed in relief. “Yes, you may leave right away. Go to the stables and have them prepare a horse for you to take.”

You couldn’t help but notice the shine in her eyes at the mention of a horse and you smirked, remembering how much she and Senju had loved sneaking off to race during the royal hunts your father had once hosted.

“Go now!” You urged, taking the ledger from her hands. Yuzuha curtsied quickly and excused herself before picking up her skirts and rushing out of the chapel with a message that was undoubtedly your biggest gamble yet.

Despite your prior sentiments, you couldn’t help but feel grateful for your duties as mistress of the castle for they kept your mind off of Ran Haitani and the engagement. With the help of another one of your ladies, you completed your rounds within the keep and headed to the training grounds per your routine.

It was a clear spring day and the sun had just started to descend. A gentle breeze kept your body cool from the sun as you passed the courtyard and crossed the moat that separated the inner court from the training grounds and stables. As you descended the bridge, dozens of knights, squires, and pages spread out across the grounds came to view.

They gathered in different groups according to their ranks and allegiances. Some of them sparred with wooden swords, others practiced their archery, and the rest trained their bodies with or without weapons. Judging by their labored breaths and varying states of undress, they’d been training for hours but that didn’t stop them from stopping mid-swing or mid-draw to greet you as you made your way through the grounds.

You instinctively searched for a head of pale pink but found yourself before a wall of a man who bent at the waist to greet you.

“Your Highness, to what do we owe the pleasure?” Ken “Draken” Ryuguji asked as he rose to his full height.

“Merely making my rounds to check on inventory and such,” you drawled, motioning to your lady who carried the ledger.

“I see,” the knight solemnly replied before turning away to search the grounds. “Sir Keizo and Sir Wakasa should have that information for you.”

You followed his gaze to find the two experienced knights—loyal only to your brother—busy training groups of squires and newly appointed knights. When Draken turned to you once more, you plastered a smile on your face and watched his brow furrow as you approached him until he was just an arm’s length away.

“I must say I’m surprised to see you leading training today, Sir Ken. Usually, it’s Manjiro out here.” You mused and watched Draken grow uncomfortable with your gaze.

“He’s… with Princess Senju for her private lessons.” The defeated knight admitted with a sigh while you beamed at him.

“Thank you for your honesty, Sir Ken. You may return to your training.”

Draken bowed once again before trudging away. You briefly wondered which corner of the castle’s grounds Senju and Mikey had chosen to jump each other’s bones, but your thoughts were interrupted by the heavy footsteps of Yasuhiro Muto, your loyal knight.

“My Princess,” The larger man greeted with a deep bow. “You honor us with your presence.”

His words of flattery never failed to improve your mood. You held your hand out and watched the man you knew to be enamored with you, place a chaste kiss on it. While the brush of his lips against your skin was brief, he held your hand for a moment longer.

“I’m glad you think so, Mucho.” You sighed, calling him by his nickname. “Although, not everyone thinks as you do.”

Your eyes scanned the grounds and found most of the men watching you with varying degrees of wariness and discomfort. Mucho shifted beside you and took a step towards them before you held him back by his bicep.

“Leave them, Mucho. They’re of no importance to me.”

Your burly knight settled back next to you while a flash of pale pink caught your gaze. You found Haruchiyo a couple of hundred feet away amidst a group of Mucho’s men with his sharp gaze already fixed on you and a frown etched on his pretty face. Still watching your brother, you opened your mouth to inquire after his training but stopped when you remembered Yuzuha wasn’t the one accompanying you on your rounds.

“Go to Keizo and Wakasa and let them know I’d like to speak with them with regards to the inventory.” You told the girl standing behind you. She was a mousy little thing but came from a family loyal to Takeomi, making her a spy in your book. It wasn’t until she was beyond earreach, that you spoke.

“How has his training progressed?” You asked, watching Haruchiyo tear his heavy gaze away from you and focus on his training.

“He can wield a sword as well as any knight and has the strength to back it up but‒”

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t mince your words with me, Mucho.” You snapped, turning to him with a frown. “I need an honest report from you.”

“Apologies, Princess,” Mucho replied, inclining his head. “I’m afraid he’s still lacking when it comes to strategy. He is also impatient and gets angry easily when he’s in the wrong.”

You said nothing as you watched your brother fly into a rage and attack the knight that had managed to best him while sparring. A sigh left your lips before you turned to Mucho.

“Thank you, Mucho. I’ll leave him in your care.”

“It is my pleasure to serve you and the prince, ma’am.” He assured you with a ghost of a smile.

Dismissing him, you turned your gaze to Haruchiyo who’d been pulled away from his opponent by two squires. His blue eyes widened in panic when they met yours and his scarred mouth opened, but you shook your head in disappointment and walked away before he could plead his case.

By the time you headed to the stables, darkness started to encroach on the sun’s last lingering light and everyone within the castle’s walls made their way indoors for the evening. You managed to catch the stableman on his way to his quarters to go over the shipment of supplies and penned down the numbers on the ledger before dismissing him.

With your tasks for the day finished, your mind wandered to Yuzuha and a cursory glance at the horses confirmed that she hadn’t returned. You made up your mind to wait for her and dismissed your lady for the night despite her annoying protests.

You pulled your shawl closer to fight off the chill of the evening and made your way to the front gate. Once you took a couple of steps outside of the stables, however, airy laughter you’d recognize anywhere caught your attention. You followed Senju’s laugh to the back of the stables where you found her and Mikey curled up together beneath a large tree after a session of training. Senju sat between her teacher’s legs and played with his hands while Mikey nuzzled her neck and held her close. The scene tugged at your heart and you let them enjoy each other’s company for a few moments longer before you stepped in.

“I would take more care in choosing your little love hideouts,”

They scrambled away from each other while you walked over. Shame burned on Senju’s face as she crawled toward her discarded cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. Mikey fared even worse with a look of mortification on his face as his black eyes looked behind you, no doubt looking for any other spectators.

“At ease, Manjiro. We’re alone, for now.” You assured the disheveled knight who now appeared more shocked than mortified. A thought crossed your mind and you turned to Senju.

“Was he not aware that I know about your… affair?”

Your feigned innocence only served to anger your little sister who stalked toward you with a misplaced snarl on her pretty face.

“Of course not,” she bit out. “Now, what do you want?”

Senju’s insolence stoked your anger but you hid it behind a fake smile as you fastened her cloak.

“I would like a word alone with Manjiro, sweet sister,” you replied, reaching up to smooth over her hair only for her to swat away your hand.

“No way!” she snarled. “I won’t let y‒”

��It’s fine, Your Highness.” Mikey interrupted. “You should retire inside. It’s been a long day for you.”

Senju opened her mouth to protest but Mikey gave her a look that dissuaded her from doing so. Shooting you a final look of warning, she trudged toward the castle’s keep, leaving you and Mikey alone. You tried to think of the last time you’d been alone with Takeomi’s sworn sword only to realize this was the first time you’d spoken to him privately.

Manjiro “Mikey” Sano was a man you’d watched grow up from afar due to the differences in your statuses and genders. His father had served as your father’s chief advisor before passing away when Mikey was still a boy, and his older brother, Shinichiro, had served as Takeomi’s sworn sword before his untimely death as well. As far as you were concerned, Mikey was blindly loyal to Takeomi and that alone was reason enough to dismiss him from your plans.

Yet, as you watched him gather himself, you wondered whether he’d remain loyal to your brother if it meant giving up on your little sister.

“Humor me, Manjiro. What will you do when the King finds out you’ve ruined one of his marriage pawns? Will you fight for that so-called love you feel for Senju or will you discard her like a whore and leave her at the King’s mercy?”

You watched with pleasure as the stalwart Mikey cracked before you. His black eyes widened and wavered, lips pressed into a thin line, jaw tightened, and hands flexed before balling into tight fists. For the first time in the long period of time you’d known him, Mikey regarded you with something other than respectful indifference.

“What makes you so sure he won’t give us his blessing?” He asked, forgoing courtesies to your amusement.

“Because while you might be his closest friend and Senju his favorite sibling, there is something the King cares about more.” You took a step closer to the black-haired knight and watched his nostrils flare from a sharp intake of breath. “And I think you know what that is.”

The Invincible Mikey staggered back completely aghast, while you crossed your arms over your chest and held his gaze.

“Tread with caution, Manjiro, because it could have been anyone today.” You started, walking towards him and stopping next to him. “And let this truce be the start of a new relationship between us for Senju’s sake.”

In the end, Yuzuha returned long after dinner had ended and you’d retired to your chambers. The light rapping on your door turned your attention away from Haruchiyo’s assignments and you rushed to the door to let her in.

“Come in quickly!” You urged, pulling her in and shutting the door behind her. She looked exhausted from her trip so you invited her to sit at your work table and poured her a cup of watered-down wine.

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Yuzuha said before downing the glass. Seeing she was still with thirst, you poured her another cup and pushed a platter of dried fruits and nuts toward her. You took a seat next to her and let her drink her fill and nibble on some fruit before asking about her trip.

“Were you able to secure a meeting with Ran Haitani?”

“Yes, I was able to meet with His Grace himself. He has agreed to meet with you tomorrow for lunch at his estate.” She replied with a tentative smile. “I tried to schedule a later date with him but Lord Ran claimed he was busy the rest of this week and the following.”

You shook your head and placed a reassuring hand over Yuzuha’s. “It’s alright, Yuzuha. The sooner I meet with him the better.”

Her shoulders relaxed at that and a relieved sigh left her lips. It was then that you noticed the mud on the hem of her dress and her disheveled hair. You retracted your hand and stood up.

“I’ll have the maids draw you a bath,” you announced and walked out to call for some maids. You heard Yuzuha protest solely out of courtesy, for you knew she loved bathing almost as much as riding on horseback.

You were roused from sleep by the sensation of cool air on your bare skin and the sound of labored breathing from above. Opening your bleary eyes, you found a naked Haruchiyo straddling you with his head thrown back and half-flaccid cock in one hand. Lowering your eyes still, you found spurts of his semen coating your bare stomach and chest.

A rush of relief washed over you when you realized he hadn’t spilled inside you, but that relief was quickly replaced with outrage at being stripped and sullied with his seed in your sleep. Using all of the strength you could muster, you shoved him off with a huff and scrambled backward to put as much space between the two of you.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” you demanded and watched him flinch before sitting back.

Shock, shame, and distress all flashed across his face as he desperately searched for a crack in your ire that he could chip away at the way he’d done so many times before. Unfortunately, his transgression had been far too great and you steeled your resolve.

It was only then that your brother’s act of remorsefulness disappeared right before your eyes. His brow unfurrowed, back straightened, scarred mouth twisted into an insolent smirk as he peered down at you.

“Marking you as mine,” Sanzu retorted with a quirk of his head. “Since you seem to have forgotten who you belong to.”

Holding your gaze, he crawled over to you and painfully dug his fingers into your thighs. You struggled against his bruising grip until he overpowered you, prying your legs open for him to settle in between them.

“Who this cunt belongs to.”

Dread settled into your stomach and you wondered if Sanzu had caught wind of your engagement. You had only planned on telling him after exhausting all of your resources as a measure of last resort. You also wanted to keep it from him knowing he’d fly into a rage, but even this was on a whole other level. The troubled man between your legs was no better than a stranger and Takeomi’s words from the day prior rang in your head.

‘You overestimate yourself’

‘You had that control over him’

‘That’s no longer the case’

“Ah!”

All coherent thought abandoned you when Sanzu’s mouth descended on your sex. He ran his tongue along your folds before working its way up to your sensitive nub. His tongue teased your clit by flicking and drawing circles around it until you were a whiny writhing mess.

“M-more!” You begged, succumbing to your most base desires. “Please! N-need more!”

Sanzu chuckled darkly and licked up the dripping arousal over your slit before pressing a chaste kiss on your throbbing clit. His head rose from between your legs and peered down at you with a crazed look that both terrified and aroused you. While he adjusted his position, you went against your better judgment and wantonly spread your legs to accommodate him.

It was an act you would surely regret but all you could think about was the satisfaction he’d bring you by stuffing you full of his cock, so you closed your eyes in surrender as your sex twitched in anticipation.

Instead of fucking your needy cunt, however, Sanzu leaned forward and pressed his lips against your ear.

“Do you also spread your legs for that bastard, Muto?”

The mention of your knight’s name snuffed out your burning desire. You opened your eyes and shot Sanzu a bewildered look.

“What are you talking about?” You demanded utterly frustrated over your interrupted orgasm. “Why are you even bringing him up now?”

“I saw the two of you yesterday,” he snarled, pressing all of his weight down on your thighs. “How he kissed you with his filthy mouth. How you clung to him like a needy whore.”

“That’s enough!”

Your hand shot out and wrapped around his slender neck, fingers digging into the sides. In an instant, the tides shifted and you were once again in control. Sanzu’s bruising grip loosened immediately and his face softened back to a semblance of the brother you knew.

The brother that would do anything to gain your approval.

The brother that always did your bidding.

The brother you needed to accomplish your goal.

You got on your knees and pushed a stunned Haruchiyo back onto his haunches, keeping a firm grasp on his neck. As much as you hated doing so, your brother needed to be punished for his insolence. He needed to be taken down a peg or two and for that, you didn’t need a sword. Your words were known to be much sharper than any blade.

“I wouldn’t have to meet with him so often if you became the warrior I need you to be.” You spat, relishing in the agony that showed on his pretty face. “It has been years and you have yet to master swordsmanship! Let alone the war tactics he’s recently introduced!”

Haruchiyo shrunk while you grew with each cruel affront you threw at his face.

“You’re impatient, reckless, and hot-headed, and I have no need for someone like that. Is that what you want, Haruchiyo? For me to abandon you like everyone else?”

Blue orbs widened in terror at your threat. His neck flexed as he sucked in a shaky breath before furiously shaking his head in response. Satisfied with his reaction and desperate response, you hurled him to the side by the neck and watched him topple near the edge of your bed.

“Then grow the fuck up and become the king I need you to be!”

Haruchiyo’s fingers brushed over his bruised neck and he turned to face you with a flushed face and a batch of tears ready to spill. It was a look you were used to seeing. A look that had never failed to stir pity in your heart until you took him into your arms, muttering sweet nothings into his ear and rubbing soothing circles over his back.

However, this time was different. He’d crossed a line in your troubled relationship that made you question everything you knew about him and yourself. Haruchiyo was growing stronger and more erratic by the day which meant you also needed to be firmer with him to keep him in check.

“Get out of my sight!” You snapped, turning away from his teary face. “And don’t show your face unless I call for you.”

Fixing your gaze on a post at the foot of your bed, you took in a couple of deep breaths to calm your anger while you waited for Haruchiyo to leave. He stubbornly stayed put for a couple of moments until he eventually got up when you didn’t budge. He sniffled as he shuffled to his discarded clothing and dressed but you dug your fingers into your sheets and remained steadfast.

It wasn’t until the door of the secret corridor closed behind him that you fell back on your bed, letting the tears you’d been withholding fall.

Despite your troubling encounter with your brother in the morning, you plastered a smile on your face as a manservant of Ran Haitani led you through the luxuriously decorated halls of Roppongi castle. He took you through a door that led to a winding staircase of what appeared to be a tower. The walls were of grey stone and dimly illuminated by torches. The stairs led to another door with an oversized metal door knocker with the Haitani family crest.

“Your Grace,” the manservant called out after knocking twice. “The princess has arrived.”

“Come in,” a muffled male voice responded, and your guide did just that with you in tow.

The room was as ornately decorated as the rest of the castle’s keep. Tapestries of silver and midnight blue—the Roppongi duchy's colors—hung on the walls. Arched windows with stained-glass panes surrounded the room, letting in vast amounts of sunlight. To your right was a study equipped with everything a duke might need when working. There was a large desk of polished dark wood with documents, candles, quills, and inkwells scattered across it. Behind the desk was a towering bookcase filled to the brim with books of all shapes and sizes that rivaled your own private library. Turning your head, you found a hearth on the opposite end of the room that burned brightly and provided warmth to a room that would’ve otherwise been quite chilly given its location. In front of the hearth was a sitting area where a tall man stood and turned to face you.

“Welcome to Roppongi Castle, Your Highness. You honor me with your presence.” the man you recognized as being Ran Haitani said before making his way to you. It was then that you really took in his appearance. His clothing was befitting of his station and the same color scheme of the room. He wore his hair long and tied back with two loose strands framing his handsome face. His forehead was high, violet eyes heavily lidded, and thin lips upturned in a semblance of a smile.

You offered him your hand once he faced you and he took it gallantly, brushing his lips over it.

“Thank you for having me, Lord Ran.” You replied, widening your smile as you peered at him. “I hope my visit didn’t interrupt your plans.”

“Not at all. I had actually hoped to pay you a visit.” He answered before turning to his manservant. “You may leave us.”

“Of course, my lord.” He bowed to Ran before turning to you, “Highness.”

He left the room after receiving your nod, closing the door behind him and leaving you alone with your future husband.

Not releasing your hand as was customary, Ran gently pulled you to the sitting area and set you down before taking the seat next to you. It was only then that he slowly let go.

“I must say you're quite bold, Lord Ran.” You commented wryly, placing your hands over your lap. “This is the first time we’re formally meeting and already you take such liberties with me.”

He chuckled, lowering his head enough for the sunlight to catch in his hair while a smile spread across his entire face. You swallowed and gently gripped the fabric of your skirt, finding you quite liked the rich mellifluous sound of his laughter.

‘Terribly handsome,’ you thought. ‘He is terribly handsome’

“I’m merely trying to match your boldness, Princess Y/N.” His violet eyes twinkled with mirth. “The ink had yet to dry on the marriage agreement and your lady was already requesting an audience on your behalf.”

Even after a few minutes alone with him, you could tell Ran Haitani was a cautious man with a knack for words. He was letting you lead the conversation and answered your inquiries without giving you the information you wanted, so you decided to press further.

“Can you blame me? The King decided to marry me off to a man I’ve only exchanged pleasantries with.”

“Many other noblewomen have married under worse circumstances.” Ran countered, leaning back in his seat.

“I am a princess, not another noblewoman,” you quipped, and Ran smirked at that.

“Then what does a princess like yourself hope to accomplish with this meeting?”

There it was. The question that left you with no way out. He had played you like a lyre in making you think you were leading the conversation when in fact he’d been the one pulling you along. The realization was embarrassing and you could already feel the heat rushing to your cheeks. He noticed, of course, and tilted his head as he watched you scramble to put on a mask of cool regality. Once you smoothed out your face, you decided to be honest.

“My… father was quite generous with me growing up. He let me study alongside my brother for years and as a result, my mind has been cultivated in ways that differ from typical societal expectations.”

“I suppose we are similar in that regard.” Ran commented when you found yourself unsure of how to proceed without being outright accused of treason.

“While most noblemen go through a similar rite of passage, I was brought up differently. I chose books over a sword and money over honor. I spend my days constantly thinking about business ventures I can partake in to increase my wealth and power so my family can maintain our position in society. And if there are problems that cannot be resolved with money, I have knights and mercenaries loyal to my family’s vast amount of wealth to resolve those problems for me.”

Ran’s smile had faded halfway through his monologue, and by the time he’d finished, the gallantry he’d received you with was replaced with a look of mild suspicion. Since he had bared some of himself, you decided to pay back the gesture but not before relieving some of the tension with a poor joke.

“You must be quite close with Kokonoi.”

His eyes widened and he laughed, louder and more carefree than before, and you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your lips.

“Hajime is one of my closest friends.” He admitted, composing himself.

“One more thing we have in common,” you replied and straightened your features before continuing.

“Along with our want of power and the use of others to get what we want.”

Ran matched your sobered expression and when he didn’t react with outrage, you ventured further.

“As the late king’s daughter, I also have aspirations for the throne but am well aware that the current laws do not permit it. My younger brother, however, is someone that would for me.”

“The power you speak of is beyond anything a duke could ever imagine.” Ran commented, leaning forward and rubbing his chin pensively.

“Beyond anything a princess could ever imagine as well,” you replied defiantly, and with no other way to turn, you continued despite the terrifying prospect of being turned in for treason. “Yet, I believe it is a possibility thanks to incriminating information I’ve gathered and Haruchiyo’s undying loyalty to me.”

You felt him pulling away so you put your boldness to work and clasped the hand still on his lap.

“If it is power you truly want then join me, Ran, and I can give you all power you want as Haruchiyo’s advisor and regent.”

His beautiful violet eyes widened and you watched the flame of greed take root within their depths. You waited with bated breath until his other hand lowered over yours, gripping your trembling hands.

“That is quite the offer, Princess, and one I must accept.” He answered and the fear that’d been building dissipated all at once. Your back that had been ramrod straight throughout your encounter relaxed along with your neck and shoulders. Despite the odds, you had managed to get Ran Haitani to join you in your struggle for the throne, thus successfully turning the crippling obstacle Takeomi threw at you into a valuable opportunity.

“Princess,” Ran called out and you straightened once again, registering the seriousness of his tone. “There is something I must inform you of. I believe you will find it helpful.”

Your head snapped up to face him and unease took hold of you once more. “What is it?”

“You may not know this but some of my more dubious business endeavors are in the black market, specifically dealing with poisons.”

You sucked in a breath and scooted closer to him, throwing decorum out of the window as your knees pressed against his. “You know about it too, don’t you?”

His violet eyes widened before an ominous smile graced his lips. “Yes, judging by your reaction I can finally say with certainty that my suspicions were correct. The poison Manjiro Sano purchased was from one of my contractors who disappeared when it was time for his payment and wound up dead in a riverbank outside of town.”

Elation didn’t even begin to capture what you felt at that moment. Nor did relief, excitement, or appreciation. With just that piece of information, Ran Haitani had transformed your impossible goal into an attainable one. Takeomi had somehow managed to betroth you to the only man that could prove his crime and you wondered if some celestial being was also on your side.

“W-we can do it!” You took his hands and squeezed, holding his gaze with your eager one. “Surely with this information we can bring him down somehow.”

Ran shook his head stubbornly. “The King has many powerful allies and he is still the firstborn son.”

“He committed patricide!” You hissed, jumping to your feet to pace the room. “A treasonous act that is also punishable by death!”

“Conspiring against a king is also treason,” Ran reminded you, rising to his feet to join you. “If we are to see this through then we must be cautious.”

He placed a hand on your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. It was a comforting gesture and one that you appreciated.

“What should we do?” You asked, for you truly had no idea how to proceed. Ran was all seriousness as he turned you to face him, now resting both of his hands on your shoulders.

“Strip him of his allies and turn them against him. Only then will you be able to push him off the throne and claim the crown for your younger brother.” At the mention of Haruchiyo, you stiffened, and Ran seemed to notice.

“Speaking of which, I’d like to meet the man we’ll be placing on the throne. Are you sure we can trust him?”

“Of course,” was your immediate response before you took a breath and elaborated. “Haruchiyo was abandoned by my father for a couple of years before he was brought back. I was the only family member that cared for him, so his loyalty to me is unyielding. I’ll set up a meeting later but first I’d like to keep our alliance a secret until the King himself announces it.”

Ran didn’t seem convinced but agreed to your terms anyway. “Alright. I’ll investigate the poison matter and let you know what I find.”

You nodded. “I’ll see what I can do regarding his allies. If you need to see me, send a message through the Shiba siblings and we can arrange something.”

Ran’s hands descended and took hold of yours once more, a gesture you didn’t mind when it came to him. “I must say this marriage will prove to be much more fruitful than I ever imagined.”

Even without peering into a mirror, you knew the power-hungry expression on his face reflected yours. It was an expression you hadn’t seen in anyone else; not even in your beloved Haruchiyo. It was a startling thought but one you welcomed, finding you preferred the company on your journey.

And what better ally than one of the most powerful men in the kingdom?

“Likewise.”

After you met with Ran, you stopped by the town for lunch and to order new dresses and pick up a couple of gifts for Senju and Haruchiyo, so Takeomi wouldn’t be suspicious regarding your outing. By the time you finished your shopping spree, the sun was setting and you made your way back to your carriage.

Just as you were about to be helped into your carriage, a woman’s blood-curdling scream rang out. Frightened and outraged by the sound, you made your way to the alley where it had come from, accompanied by two of the knights Muto had assigned to escort you for the day.

You found a girl being dragged by two men across the dirty floor of the alley by her pale blonde hair. Despite the darkness that engulfed the filthy place, her eyes stood out like two nuggets of gold in murky water and locked into yours.

“HELP ME!”

Your arm rose instantly as if compelled by just her scream and the two men that flanked your side rushed forward. In a manner of minutes, they descended on the girl’s captors and killed one each with a single swing of their swords. Your first instinct was to look away but you remembered what your father had once said.

The throne demands violence.

So you watched the blood spurt from their bodies and cover the dumbstruck girl still on the filthy floor. As your knights dragged the two bloody bodies away, you made your way to the trembling girl and crouched down.

You were immediately struck by her beauty. Although dirty, her long hair was a stunning color that was rare at court. Her cheeks were high and still had remnants of baby fat clinging to them. Her lips were also full and a lovely shade of pink despite their wretched state. She truly was a diamond in the rough and you considered taking her in.

“What is your name?” You asked, genuinely curious.

“E-Emma, my lady,” she managed to say. “M-my name is E-Emma Sano and I’m l-looking for my brother Mikey.”

It was then that you were certain Fate was on your side. Overwhelmed with emotion, you reached out to Emma and took her into your arms. Tears of joy streamed down your face and Ran’s advice from that day came to mind as you held the girl that would tear Mikey away from Takeomi for good.

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eirichele · 4 years

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a VERY in depth look at fire emblem: three houses and its grooming problem

OR: how this game managed to make an accurate portrayal of grooming and exactly how it made it palatable

(warning: really long. though to be fair, the length is mostly screenshots. you can also read this in google docs)

***

SO i’ve been wanting to write something Formal and In Depth for a while, because this game’s reception has been a nightmare for me and other csa victims and quarantine hit, so i finally had time. i just really wanted to get all my thoughts in one place before i move on from 3h. i’m basically done talking about this after this one because... idk what else i could say that hasn’t been said here, really. fe has history with this, and the in-game excuses ring hollow when we know the fe devs disregard csa victims at every turn while pandering to male gamers who love sexualised teenage girls.

long, long analysis under the cut:

Some previous context: Fire Emblem games have a history of normalising harmful romances

It’s understandable for many to not know the history of the series since 3H was insanely successful and it brought a lot of new fans. Fire Emblem has always been a character driven game where making your units bond was encouraged both for gameplay and story reasons. Some end in special romantic epilogues, and some of those relationships were concerning to say the least: Sylvia, 14 years old, can marry every eligible man in Genealogy of the Holy War, Jill from Radiant Dawn, 18, can marry her father’s protegé who is 34. This is not a new phenomenon for the series, it just became more noticeable and malicious post-Awakening, because it became first person fanservice.

FE decided to rehaul the series sometime in 2011 by including dating sim elements, which made it explode in popularity. Avatars were introduced to represent the player in-game, allowing them to marry whoever they wanted. The first game to include a pseudo-dating sim was Awakening, released in 2012. The player can marry every named playable character, on top of the usual FE shipping mechanics . Donnel, Nowi and Ricken, all children, are part of your party. Nowi is a thousand year old dragon that looks like a child of 11-15. She loves playing, and throws tantrums, and overall acts very childishly, but the narrative insists that she’s really an adult feigning childishness.

In Fire Emblem lore, dragons are veeeery slow ageing people with the power to transform into dragons, which means they can be biologically still children even when they’re hundreds or thousands of years old. Tiki, another similar character, is considered a child in Shadow Dragon by her adult dragon family while explicitly being around Nowi’s age. Despite evidence to the contrary, Awakening treats Nowi like an adult who can marry. Fire Emblem had previously included many dragon child characters in the past, but none were romantic options for anyone, and they were considered a younger sibling of sorts. Nowi was a first in the series, and after her inclusion these romances became common with characters like Nyx in Fates and Flayn and Sothis in Three Houses. Worth noting is her design, which is incredibly sexualised. A (not so) fun fact is that the outfit designer of Awakening and Fates was none other than Three Houses’ future director, Toshiyuki Kusakihara:

Ricken and Donnel are just regular 13-15 year old boys. No magic. Other adult characters and your avatar just marry them, and it’s stated they will have children in the future. The next game, Fates, actually managed to outdo this somehow: Your pedophilic romance options are now five, and unlike Awakening’s avatar Robin, whose age was unknown and could potentially be portrayed in their mid-teens, Corrin canonically is in the 18-21 age range, making this unambiguous pedophilia. Fates is a very standout game when it comes to Fire Emblem’s worst parts: There’s no “children from the future” excuse for the avatar having children like in Awakening. The avatar impregnates all spouses (or gets pregnant) and has the child after an in-game time skip, which means you can canonically impregnate your approximately 15 year old sister in a Fire Emblem game. You really do not want to stan these devs.

pictured: definitely not 18, even if the english localization really tried to pull that.

Which is yet another thing in this game: Incest with adopted siblings is possible and even encouraged. Incest is constantly fetishized through the character of Camilla, who is an attractive and sexualized older sister obsessed with the main character. Another (not so) fun fact is that most characters will continue to call you ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ in the story even if you’re married because Fire Emblem rarely changes the story to fit with your marriage options. The most insidious thing about the incest and pedophilic couples in Fates is that they’re completely normalized. It’s not shown as abusive, and they look like normal couples that could even look cute out of context. They confess their love, tease each other, blush and have cutesy epilogues.

pictured: marrying your sibling and a literal child

All of this is to end with the conclusion that this is a constant pattern with Fire Emblem, especially the ones with marriage. Any potentially awful relationships portrayed are not outwardly abusive. You won’t catch Xander gaslighting Corrin, or anything. They’re a “cute” relationship that just happens to be incest. Their interactions are not outwardly unhealthy, and it’s tailor made for ‘’’harmless’’’ shipping, but in the end, it’s incest and pedophilia portrayed as a valid pairing that’s “healthy” by all means. It’s normalization of something that’s objectively horrifying to live through. As a CSA victim, Fates literally made me quit the franchise for all the years it was popular.

When Three Houses announced that it would take place in a school while you play a teacher, after seeing all of this play out all FE fans could feel was dread. When 3H announced even later that all romance would take place post-time skip everyone forgot about their reservations instantly— ignoring the fact that everyone being over 18 when marriage happens doesn’t absolve all potential problems with predatory writing. How you write a couple with an age gap is critical. Moving on with Actual Three Houses:

Byleth has a canon age unlike Corrin and Robin, but the game tries to hide it

Corrin and Robin were both avatars meant to be somewhat customized. Byleth cannot be customized. They have a set appearance and age. You can choose Byleth’s name, gender and birthday when you start up the game, but Byleth canonically cannot be born anywhere after September 20th 1159, their “canon” birthday, since their father states in his diary that they’re already alive. 3H starts in the year 1180, which makes Byleth 20 or already 21 depending on their chosen birthday.

All other Three Houses characters have their ages shown clearly in their unit menu, and all bios update accordingly when you learn new information, including yours. Byleth’s age is revealed in a cutscene, but despite this, the game tries to “hide” their age. This is all Byleth has in their bio even well into the endgame:

It’s presumably so the player can “headcanon” their age, as the player avatar, but they still have a canon age, because they’re not a customizable one. It’s a very odd design choice that makes no sense until you consider that the game is romantically pushing teenagers at you. Romanceable students range from 14 to 22 years old before the time skip, but the great majority are in the 15-18 range. Early on, when you introduce yourself to your students, they seem taken aback by how young you are and comment how you seem like you’re “their age.” This is your only dialogue option in response:

No sixteen year old has ever told a twenty/-one year old that they’re the same age, but this is anime high school dating sim logic. An addendum is that this game has incredibly shallow dialogue options to hide how linear it really is, and this is the first glaring instance. This comes up later on with the romance options—you have little to no options to reject a student’s advances. Boundaries as both a player and RPG protagonist are non-existent in this game.

pictured: “yes” and “sure why not” dialogue options to agreeing to meet with a student alone. linhardt just turned 17 last month

Byleth can flirt pre-time skip

Most of your units are students, thus all romance should in theory, stay in the war phase…. Which doesn’t happen at all. All the narrative framing of characters’ “closeness” and foreshadowing of romance are definitely a part of the school phase. The worst offender by far is an in-game event called the Goddess Tower, the school’s local romantic spot. It’s said in universe that a man and a woman who make a vow there on a specific night will stay together forever, and this is a prelude to the marriage scenes five years later, which will take place in that Tower. You can even pick who to bring with you to the Tower, and this is what Byleth says to themselves before the drop down menu shows up:

this is one of those lines that’s like semi-innocuous, since byleth is addressing the player here, but what the fuck is a teacher doing thinking about a student “that way”???? my girl doesn’t know there will be a 5 year time skip where they’re going to be legal she’s just saying this about a bunch of sixteen year olds.

The Goddess Tower itself is a mess of bungled flirting and unnatural romantic scenes, made all the worse by the fact that you can only trigger this scene with a student. Older characters like Seteth, Catherine and Shamir are locked out of the Goddess Tower. They can’t be picked from the menu, and if they’re your highest support, the game will default to the next highest supported student. Here’s some lines from Ingrid’s scene:

ingrid is 17 when this takes place. the youngest byleth possible is well over 21 and the oldest is turning 22 next month

Check out this post for more examples of the Goddess Tower. Byleth’s dialogue options here are right out of a god damn PSA about child safety. They genuinely come off as a huge creep here, especially “Just the two of us….” My dude.

Thankfully one of the few instances where you can turn the student down, but notable anyway. Dorothea’s C support, where you have the option of following her flirty lead, and her response will be the same regardless of your choice:

Another infamous bit of inappropriate flirting is Edelgard’s Japanese C1 support, which you’re likely to unlock before her 18th birthday in June because it’s her very first support:

This was thankfully removed in the English version (Though she still has the same flustered reaction), but the intentions are there. Curiously, I’ve seen many supporters of the Byleth/Edelgard ship say they were upset this was removed, while simultaneously denying the ship has any grooming connotations whatsoever— when an authority figure making ha ha, unless? 😳 sexual jokes in front of underage/barely legal kids to see their reaction is textbook grooming:

Once a trusting or special relationship is created, the offender may carefully test the victim’s reaction to sex. (x)

Not helping is the fact that Edelgard falling in love with Byleth during the school phase is practically canon judging by dialogue in CF of her missing you “more” than the others. Which leads to:

Some interactions pre-time skip resemble grooming tactics

In fans’ minds the lack of boundaries are somewhat mitigated by Byleth’s supposed good intentions, and it’s common to hear fans say Byleth obviously didn’t go to Garreg Mach intending to marry one of the kids they’re teaching because grooming must be malicious from the start. However, it’s well known that unlike premeditated abuse of younger kids, sexual abuse of older teens often happens by “accident”

In contrast, educators who teach at the late middle and high school level target victims in this age range. They might be outstanding teachers, although they may also be mediocre (Shakeshaft, 2003). Sexual abuse at this level may be less premeditated and planned and more often a result of bad judgment (Shakeshaft, 2004). (x)

In other words, by putting zero boundaries between teacher and students and enabling weird situations, which is 3H to a T. Many students flirt, but Byleth doesn’t say anything, or even flirts back.

Secondly, Byleth is like… barely a character, so this isn’t meant to be a callout post accusing them of being a manipulative abuser or whatever, because this is about the dev team putting teenagers in these flirty positions to satisfy the player that Byleth is meant to represent. Byleth is just the plot device they use to do so. People often say this flirting isn’t grooming because Byleth has “good intentions,” but they’re a self-insert, and a self-insert doesn’t have to have any in-universe intentions because the outside writing drives their actions— the thing is we KNOW these writers are not above writing pedophilia as harmless romance. People project good intentions on Byleth, because that’s the avatar. You’re supposed to project on them. This of course includes their “good intentions,” and when I play 3H I headcanon that too, but canonically speaking, these intentions are 100% ambiguous. They never voice attraction to another student, or disgust at the thought of dating them because they speak in small, limited dialogue options and thought bubbles. We don’t have a real, canon indication that they would oppose dating a student before the time skip nor that they would actually do it.

What we do have are the canonical interactions that make people uncomfortable, however. Byleth can think of students in “that way” when the Gatekeeper describes a romantic getaway on the Goddess Tower. If we take them at face value, then their dialogue options clearly establish that they’re okay with flirting with students as young as fifteen, at the very least. They “die” before potentially starting to date any of them for real, but the beginnings of an uncomfortable romance are there and the game fully embraces this as okay .

This is all a result of the writing. Fates never condemned you for picking your sister over any of the other thirty (?) romanceable characters, just like Three Houses doesn’t condemn you for picking Lysithea over any older women in the teaching staff. It’s just another S support option, and it even gets some sweet extra content. She’s touched that you care for her, and you do everything in your power to take care of her frail health, and you guys get happily married. No one ever mentions that you were her high school teacher when she was fifteen and you met at said high school, and she was your favourite student— and this is, you know, something of an important detail in any relationship. Just like Fates, it’s sweet and shippable out of context, which just encourages normalization. How dare you say this is unhealthy? It’s tender! Look how much he loves her!

The thing is that 3H initially presents your students as your charges in school. You’re unambiguously in charge of them as both tactician and instructor, even if you treat each other in a familiar way. Even if most students technically outrank you as nobles, Garreg Mach as politically neutral ground implicitly puts you above them as their teacher. The younger ones are vulnerable teenagers, away from home in a boarding school. Most have some sort of underlying emotional problem that they come to you for. They come to you for advice, and sometimes just venting. You can give them gifts, and have tea every week with them if you so wish in an off-screen conversation. Tea also serves as the “skinship” of this game where you get to see the anime boy/girl of your dreams from up-close, which is a pretty creepy thing to do with a fifteen year old anime girl even out of universe, but I digress.

Looking at this chart in the essay I linked earlier gave me a little bit of a stroke, because the “Strategies” aspects are all things you do in 3H prior to the time-skip:

This is obviously accidental, but still concerning because we know these devs have a twisted idea of what romance is, and that culminated in what I sincerely hope is an unintended but still eerily accurate portrayal of grooming.

Emotional confidence, teatime and gifts, flirting, making a vow together at the Goddess Tower, sex jokes, are all things you do pre-timeskip, and some student’s personal arcs make this even worse. Marianne, Dimitri and Bernadetta have mental illnesses, and they heavily rely on you for support. Edelgard and Sylvain express attraction towards you. You meet Felix’s father and he puts his full trust in you. Ignatz, Bernadetta and Marianne have very low self-esteem. Characters like Ashe and Annette have major parental issues that they discuss with you. In short, you see them at their most vulnerable as kids, and then get together as adults.

About the only thing you don’t do pre-time skip in that list is “Isolate,” but some character arcs post time skip have this distinct vibe nonetheless. Many students leave their homes in the war phase explicitly because of you and no other reason. CF Ingrid in particular outright betrays Faerghus and everything she knew for you, as she says she doesn’t really believe in Edelgard’s war. Knowing you as a teacher can string her along in her Goddess Tower scene while she’s underage puts this in an awkward perspective.

This is what makes the five year time skip hold little weight. Everyone is an adult when the relationship is consummated, yes, but it starts pre-time skip.

Emotionally vulnerable teenagers having a strong relationship and frequent alone time with their older teacher, who is a confidant and someone that makes them feel special is already looking bad, but the absolute loyalty, idolisation and close relationship when they’re adults only makes it worse, even if it’s probably just a result of poorly thought out game design and player pandering gone wrong.

It’s not just player pandering, however. The devs just clearly think these relationships are okay. Other non-Byleth student/teacher romances deserve a mention, too—Manuela is forty something and thinks of her romantic potential with some 19 year-old:

Thankfully, this support ends at B, but others don’t. She has romantic endings with Lorenz, Ferdinand and Dorothea, who she even canonically met before Garreg Mach as a child and who idolises her as an opera star. The game doesn’t stop at the normalisation of grooming with Byleth, they’re just the most noticeable example, especially since it’s a power fantasy for the player who can romance all of them, not just a few.

The time skip had the opportunity to fix some of the creepy implications, but it didn’t

People like to look at the time-skip as a justification of romance. That 15 year old kid is 20 now, after all, and your students are adults, who have matured and grown outside of your influence.... Except your interactions with them remain virtually the same. They still call you Professor and hold you in some extremely high esteem as an authority figure.

Three Houses has an avatar worship problem like all newer Fire Emblem games and this definitely contributes to the uncomfortable implications in the narrative, because literally everyone respects you and adores you to an uncomfortable degree. Even as grown ass adults, the avatar worship just makes it seem like your students still idolize you like when they were kids awe struck by how cool you are.

They don’t show the change from “mentor” to “peer” satisfactorily, like they intended for the romance elements to work. Byleth’s name is customizable, making a first name basis difficult, but they easily could have changed your war phase title to something that would make it seem like your students’ view of you changed, like a military title such as Commander, or even just Eisner, your canonical last name. All students still call you “Professor,” in the war phase, though. Some students even call you Professor when you’re about to propose to them in the S support, like Lysithea. Leonie, one of the oldest students who is actually your age, has this to say about calling you by your name… you know, like a normal peer and friend would:

White Clouds is also a whole year while VW, AM, and SS take place during six to seven months, CF during five. You spend more time as their teacher and mentor than as “peers,” so Leonie’s position is pretty understandable despite being like, barely a year younger than you.

To rewind, this game lets you pick a “special” student pre-time skip, who you’re encouraged to build bonds with through tea, gifts and the Goddess Tower. You’re their favourite teacher, as said by many other characters. They grow up and join you in your war regardless of who they have to fight, some even just to be with you. They still affectionately call you Professor, and look up to you. You can then marry them. This is unironically seen as both acceptable and even romantic.

Many of these interactions like tea are gameplay elements and thus come off as the devs not thinking too hard about it. Except, again, we know they have no problem in writing outright pedophilia, but Fates in particular had heavy backlash over this, which explains the need to tone it down a little. Grooming was their “compromise” between not turning off the casual audience while still cheekily pandering to that crowd. Everyone is technically over eighteen in Three Houses, even if they act extremely similar to their teenage selves. The “technically 1000 year old” romances like Flayn and Sothis were also left intact.

This is an important distinction, because a bit of a popular “it’s not grooming” argument when dealing with the war phase is Byleth’s weird dragon powers slowing their aging. Unlike the kids, all adult non-students in Three Houses undergo no portrait changes during the time skip, including Byleth. The thing is that in Chapter 10, they receive dragon powers as part of some plot nonsense, so it has different implications than just anime hating everyone over 25. There’s implications in the game that this definitely affected their ability to age normally, such as the Flayn ending:

However, we don’t know how their aging was affected and to what extent. Three Houses’ lore didn’t specify much about the way dragons age. Rhea undergoes dragon madness, so we can thus tentatively assume Fódlan’s dragons are similar to Archanea and Valentia’s dragons, which would mean there’s a chance Byleth even aged normally for a few years before slowing down significantly like Nah from Awakening did. It’s entirely possible they’re biologically 25-26 like they’re meant to be, because they didn’t physically die. They were just asleep.

Even if they really did not age a day over 21/22, it still makes the pre-time skip hold weight, however. Byleth can flirt with them as teens prior to any fantastical excuse, and they’re still a mentor figure in the students’ eyes, which goes on to colour every interaction with you in the war phase. Post-time skip everyone is legal, but they still have that history with you, and the game makes no real effort to change that whatsoever. It still fulfills the student/teacher fantasy despite the many, many technicalities it tries to pull out of its ass.

Intsys is self aware and knows that this upsets people

To say these devs probably didn’t mean it that way is not entirely impossible, but they don’t exactly inspire confidence. They even “acknowledge” their flippant way of treating teacher/student relationships in a DLC quest during school phase:

Of course, this is a silly complaint because a teacher being friendly with students is a good thing! Students learn better in a positive environment! The problem here is that it’s obviously referencing and mocking the people upset that this becomes romantic later on. I think anyone would have been able to forgive the overly friendly nature of Byleth and the students’ relationships if no line had been crossed regarding romance. This is Fire Emblem after all, and it wouldn’t be Fire Emblem without supports and relationships values.

But also, Intsys is very good at jokingly acknowledging when they’re being creepy rather than striving to do better. It’s not the first time they’ve done this. A really bold faced example is when the Fire Emblem mobile game widely known for fanservice released a ten year old child (no magic or dragons, either, just a child) dressed as a bride and had her say: “This outfit is just for the [bride] festival, don’t get any weird ideas!” when they were the ones who made a child bride for fanservice purposes.

this one was pretty fucked up even by their standards. comment sums it up

The devs also once called Camilla from Fates a “cow” in an interview for having huge breasts and a little tiara that looks like horns. They designed her that way, but then mocked her for looking like an oversexualized caricature. Any way you look at it, they’re well aware they’re being off-putting and cheekily being like, tee hee, I sure made a dating sim set in a high school! Which ultimately leads to the final point:

Though canon definitely has its problems, it’s less about canon and more about the devs’ bad intentions and the fans’ general lack of empathy for CSA victims:

This is not to diminish canon’s impact at all, because it’s outright malicious to portray an unhealthy relationship as cute and harmless. In short, they just pull technicality after technicality out of their ass to make student/teacher okay somehow instead of just..... not having student/teacher at all. After Fates having fucking incest, 3H and teacher grooming seems outright tame and that definitely contributed to the wide acceptance in the fanbase, because it’s less outrageously pandery. I can’t believe I have to say this in 2020, but…... that’s still not good, lads.

I will also admit there’s some nuance here regarding some of the students, especially those 20+ year olds who aren’t easy to manipulate teenagers like Mercedes. We can sit here and argue all day about whether or not this game legitimately 100% can be considered grooming because of those 20+ students, and all of those in-universe technicalities since there’s no real life academic journal on grooming who will talk about the offender being a dragon, but the end of the matter is that the devs chose to portray their pseudo-dating sim franchise in a school, while your MC is a teacher and most of the students are teens. These relationships are also 100% normalised and okay in-game. They did it with incest and with teacher/student, both topics that are majorly upsetting to CSA victims, and that alone is worth calling out. They even mocked people who were upset about it with a little DLC quest, just to rub it in.

This whole post was a critique of 3H and Intsys, but it’s impossible to critique the game without critiquing the fan culture around it, because the devs definitely had a fanbase in mind. We know they take feedback, since they toned it down after complaints about Fates, but the reason why they didn’t just get rid of pandering aspects, is because they’re popular. There’s a huge demand for this, and that’s exactly why they keep doing it, and it’s the simple reason that online anime spaces full of adults have always placed a particular interest in teens and sexualising and shipping them. A Fire Emblem game set in a school with a calendar and a lot of romantic and social elements that started development in 2017 just screams Persona 5 inspired. Fans obviously noticed.

”edelgard is soooo thirsty” jokes are a lot less funny if you know going for the thirsty kid is a legit strategy

Now, I don’t know shit about Atlus, and after seeing all these memes regarding Persona 5 and the fans’ positive reaction to them, I have zero intentions to play it, but I’ve unfortunately played every single FE game and watched the transition to classic FE to 3DS FE to 3H. I have my criticisms about modern FE’s writing quality for sure, and while I obviously can’t say it used to be perfect because it was still a fairly mediocre (but fun) game about teenagers beating up dragons, it’s now become one of the single most unfriendly fanbases if you’ve gone through any kind of sexual trauma. Incest shipping, pedophilic shipping, and sexualizing teenagers was always there to some extent, but it’s blown up now that the devs have emboldened those fans by doing it in canon itself. It’s rampant, especially on “waifu” circles, and now grooming ships are mainstream and everywhere. Even LGBT friendly “safe spaces” are unbrowsable. F!Edeleth in particular is commonly seen as the holy grail of wlw representation. Linhardt is the most popular M/M option despite the other two being adults. Doromanuela was given a shout-out by Dorothea’s English voice actress.

Old FE games had background things like that all the time, (Roy/Cecilia is Literally gender swapped Petra/Byleth) but the keyword here is background. Not like... 80% of the ships involving the MC in game, which means you weren’t bombarded with this every day. Worse, the discussion about this topic has been non-existent. Reddit has not touched this at all despite the community there being well known for meticulous criticism, Twitter and Tumblr have seen its fair share of discourse, but it’s quickly dismissed. Just click here to watch people dismiss the concerns of every single grooming and CSA victim, or even call them stupid like we can’t recognize this shit in every single fandom. Of note are the fans who dismiss grooming concerns by saying all flirting occurs post time skip (which is false, as we just said) and the characters are only 3-6 years apart anyway……………….. and then gleefully consume/produce pre-time skip content:

miscellaneous tags on a pre-time skip linleth comic (20/21/22 and 16/17 if you’re not keeping count) not posting the comic itself cause i don’t want anon hate lol

While there’s an argument to be made for romance with anyone who was 20+ pre-time skip, there is NONE for the underage kids. None. And like, even if you somehow still want to argue that 3H itself isn’t grooming because of the time skip, a huge chunk of the fanworks objectively are, and this is a huge problem that needs to be called out and nobody does so whatsoever. That comic has 2500+ notes.

This isn’t even a call to tell people to throw out their copies and riot, just to be aware of this and try to make fan spaces a little more bearable for CSA victims. A lot of people call this ‘toxic cancel culture’ and whatnot, but I personally can’t defend a dev team who I KNOW has done heinous things in the past, and continue to support the pedophilic mentality in online anime fan spaces but like, in a cheeky subtle way. They easily could have made Byleth a student who tutors the others because of their experienced mercenary background with Jeralt, or just not let them romance the kids at all. They could have pleased both the dating sim and high school camps by letting you choose to be either a 21+ teacher or a 17 year old student with the appropriate romance options, too. They didn’t do any of this, and their questionable past begs me to ask why, and none of the answers I can come up with are very encouraging. They also even blatantly gave you extra content when romancing students.

I hope contextualizing the 3H grooming at least makes some people understand why it’s so upsetting to see it everywhere. It’s just the decent thing to do to tag your posts, and to not dismiss any of these things. It’s just the decent thing to do to listen to people who are sharing their experiences and respecting their boundaries if they simply do not want to interact with you if you decide to continue supporting Intsys.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. Stan Claude von Riegan.

#t #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #grooming mention #csa ment

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nanoland · 3 years

Text

title: Compass Rose

series: Lucifer (TV)

pairings: Mazikeen/Eve

summary: In which Mazikeen exercises her renowned patience.

warnings: Lucifer is kind of a dick in this. Not intentionally; he’s just young and colossally self-centered.

Also on Ao3!

“You. Demon. What’s your name?” asks the Morningstar, looking bored and depressed, as usual.

She straightens up, brimming with nerves and excitement, feeling her acidic blood bubble happily because he’s so handsome! And he’s talking to her! Her siblings will shriek with jealousy when they hear of this. “Mazikeen, my liege.”

“Mazikeen,” he repeats, mispronouncing it. “Great. Maze, do something about… all that, would you? It’s dreadfully grating.”

He gestures to the sea of damned, miserable human souls milling around the base of his throne, calling up to him for help or mercy.

“Yes, my liege,” she says, her bright mind already hard at work planning the next few millennia of punishment.

“Maze, is there a letter from Amenadiel?”

Mazikeen is now four hundred years old and in all that time, not a single letter has arrived in Hell, from Amenadiel or anyone else. Regardless, her handsome king asks every week.

It’s fine. She’s far too mature and cunning to feel even the slightest scrap of envy towards some pompous old angel she’s never even met, regardless of how obviously Lucifer loves him.

Regardless of how obvious it is that he loves no one in Hell half as much.

“No, my liege.”

“Hmm. Fine. Whatever. Fuck him, then. Brothers – who needs ‘em?”

She nods. She herself has many, many brothers, and sisters, and siblings who are neither or both, and she certainly doesn’t need them.

(Sometimes she longs for them, especially when she’s weary from the years and years dedicated to building and securing Lucifer’s kingdom, but she never needs. Needing is for the weak.)

It occurs to her that that king might be cheered by stories of Tradiusis, her most treasured and most useless brother, who is prone to chatting with the damned and asking them about all the silly human indulgences they enjoyed in life, like movies and theme parks and hot dogs. Fool that he is, the mere thought of him always brings a smile to her face.

But she decides against it, suspecting that if she were to begin telling Lucifer about her family, he’d get that same dull, faintly irritated expression she sees every time she reads him a report about the number of new arrivals and how various parts of Hell will need to be restructured to accommodate them all.

(She wonders what will happen when Hell is full – does he have a plan? Is she expected to have a plan?)

(How long, exactly, are they supposed to keep doing this?)

(Surely this can’t be all they were made for?)

“Maze, get me a drink, would you?”

Mazikeen is Lucifer’s right hand, his bodyguard, the highest-ranked demon in Hell, named the Lady of Pain, the Whirlwind, and the Blood Dancer by her peers and underlings.

Pouring drinks is… new to her.

But this is what he wants; this club, this loud music, these inebriated humans constantly demanding attention and entertainment, constantly needing to be managed. And he’s her king.

She pours him his drink and listens to him play the piano, until some wretch attempts to grope her and loses two fingers.

Running a nightclub is, it turns out, complicated.

There are all sorts of rules and regulations regarding what can and cannot be done inside it.

At one point, Lucifer decides it would be fun to have white tigers roaming the dance floor. After a few days spent looking into that option, she has to explain that they may to have settle for waitresses dressed as tigers. He pouts like it’s her fault and goes back to the piano.

She’s also not allowed to kill anyone, which is, honestly, ridiculous. Mazikeen is an ancient being, a warrior nigh unparalleled, with centuries of experience contending with the worst the human race has to offer, and every single night she endures treatment from at least one of Lucifer’s guests that, even to her vast, reasonable, and patient mind, clearly warrants swift annihilation.

If murder is, indeed, illegal, how do all the mortal women in this city who serve drinks cope?

“You block it out, I guess,” says Suzy, a waitress with thick red hair and tired eyes, after Mazikeen has had to save her yet again from a patron with wandering hands (and now broken hands). “You know, just… don’t let it get to you. Grow a thick skin.”

Mazikeen considers the half of her body that has no skin whatsoever and snickers inappropriately. Then she gifts Suzy one of her knives.

Chloe gasps. “Maze! No! Absolutely not!”

“Why?” she asks, annoyed but also genuinely curious.

“I can’t just torture a suspect to get information, Maze. It’s wrong.”

Mazikeen considers saying: You already torture people. You lock them up in tiny boxes until their minds break and their lives are utterly ruined. How is that different? I don’t understand.

Mazikeen considers saying: You let Lucifer violate peoples’ innermost selves to obtain information. How is that better? I don’t understand.

Mazikeen considers saying: I don’t want to be good. I don’t care about being good. So why do I seem to put so much more thought into how to be good than you do? I don’t understand, I don’t, I don’t.

Instead, Mazikeen rolls her eyes and says nothing.

“Maze! No! What were you thinking?” cries Linda, rushing over to the cradle. “You can’t give that to a baby!”

She snatches away Mazikeen’s present; a blade, small and silver, just right for tiny hands, the same blade Mazikeen herself received from her favourite sister on her fourth birthday. It has tasted the blood of over a hundred enemies.

Charlie starts to cry and Linda puts the blade aside so she can pick him up and comfort him.

“Children need to be able to protect themselves,” Mazikeen insists.

“No, Maze. Children need to be protected.”

“No one protected me.”

Linda doesn’t say: Exactly. Why would I want my son to be anything like you?

Because Linda is kind.

But Mazikeen is perceptive and she sees it in her friend’s eyes all the same.

“So then, then it turns out that Jon Snow is actually Daenarys Targaryen’s cousin, right, which makes him – oh no! – a rival contender for the Iron Throne, and…”

“Ugh,” Mazikeen groans, cutting Ella off. “I thought this was a show about dragons! Why does it waste so much time on people either fucking or killing their relatives?”

She laughs at Mazikeen’s exaggerated annoyance. “It’s not just about dragons. There’s a lot of stuff about politics and war and, yeah, fucked-up family dynamics. Honestly, that’s one of the reasons it grips me so much. My own family’s always got a ton of drama going on, too. I mean – no incest. Not that I’m aware of. But you know all about my brothers.”

Mazikeen is about to ask what the dragons look like – whether the show’s version bears any resemblance to the beasts she’s ridden into battle – when Ella tilts her head sideways and squints at her. “Huh. Now that I think about it… I’ve told you all about my brothers but I’ve never asked anything about your family. That was shitty of me! Can I ask now? Or is it, like, one of those things you don’t talk about? Like where you’re from and how you met Lucifer?”

Fiddling with a lock of her hair – it’s straight and black today – Mazikeen says, “I don’t mind talking about it. Just… most people don’t care.”

Ella frowns, briefly (cutely, curse her). “Well, I wanna know! You got any brothers?”

“Yeah.”

“How many?”

“A lot. I’m not actually sure exactly how many there are now.”

“Oh, right. Gotcha. Are you close to any of them?”

“Not these days. But when we were young, we were pretty tight-knit. Didn’t really have anyone besides each other.”

Ella asks her more questions and though she has to keep her answers extremely vague, Mazikeen finds that she likes talking about her home and her childhood. Prolonged exposure to the human world has begun to make her feel insubstantial; a tool, a disguise, a thing without roots or history. Lucifer’s been no help with that, for he’s only ever known her as his servant (and, sometimes, when he’s in a good mood, his friend, by virtue of the fact that friendship with someone who works for you – who can do nothing but work for you – requires no tedious emotional labour whatsoever).

It’s nice to remember that she has, in fact, been other things. That she could, perhaps, be other things in the future.

“So,” Dan slurs, hunched over his beer. “You got whores… hordes… horns? Thought demons had horns.”

She’s busy applying a fresh coat of candy-pink lipstick to match her powder-blue bob. “Some do. I don’t.”

“Well, that sucks. That’s not fair! You deserve horns. You’re cool, Maze.”

Because that provokes a twinge of genuine affection, she says, “Wanna see what I have got?”

“Hell, yeah!”

He grins drunkenly.

“You need to promise not to scream.”

“Oh – oh, man, is it scary? Is it gross?”

She shows him her true face.

After a moment of owlish blinking, he shrugs and returns to his beer. “Eh. S’not that gross. Lucifer’s grosser. Wanna play pool?”

Amenadiel presents her with a beautiful black sheath. “I crafted it from my own feathers. It will keep the blade contained until he’s old enough to wield it safely.”

She slides Charlie’s knife into it. “Someone will need to teach him.”

“Who taught you?”

“Me? No one. They just threw us at one another and clapped for whoever survived. But… well. He’s not like me, is he?”

The angel places the sheathed blade down beside Charlie’s stuffed rabbit and plastic truck. “Maybe not now. With any luck, that will change.”

“Ma-aaze,” Lucifer groans, flopping back in his armchair with his long legs artfully folded and his hand over his eyes. “I’ve had such a tiresome morning. Pour me a drink, would you?”

“Pour it your damn self,” she suggests, standing on his penthouse’s balcony and admiring the view. His throne in Hell was about as tall as this building. From up here, all the little people down below look exactly the same.

He pouts and fetches a glass – and, to her surprise, one for her as well.

Mazikeen brings an abrupt, efficient end to the bar fight by slamming her palm into an assailant’s solar plexus.

He drops like a ton of bricks, joining the pile of groaning men, broken furniture, and smashed bottles. (Shit; it’s going to take ages to clean all this up. If Lucifer didn’t have infinite money, Lux would have gone bankrupt eight times by now.)

She turns to see Eve staring at her, beautiful mouth hanging open, and braces herself for the “Maze! No!”.

“That was so cool,” Eve breathes, and rushes over to leap into Mazikeen’s arms, only to draw back at the last second. “Oh no! You’re hurt!”

There is, indeed, a small cut on Mazikeen’s left hand.

“Don’t care, doesn’t matter,” says Mazikeen, reaching for her, wanting badly to be kissed.

But Eve drags her into a quiet back room where she applies disinfectant and bandaids with cartoon cats on them.

“I really wanna learn how you did that thing with your elbow,” she chatters, wiping away a few spots of blood with a white handkerchief. “The way his nose just went crunch! – man, it was fantastic.”

“I can teach you. If you like.”

Eve’s dark eyes are fond. “You’re always offering to do something for me – to teach me how to fight, or to carry something, or to protect me. It’s… like, I love it. But you know you don’t have to, right?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“I wanna do stuff for you sometimes. Oh! That reminds me. Lucifer was going to take Chloe to a wrestling match but then they had another fight and he’s back to being sad, sooo I stole the tickets out of his jacket. Wanna go?”

“I love you,” says Mazikeen, even though she’s said it five times today. She likes the way it sounds in her mouth. She likes the way it makes Eve’s whole face sparkle.

“I love you too, babe.”

#mazikeen #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #eve #chloe decker #dan espinoza #linda martin #ella lopez #my fic

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unblinded-by-nostalgia-blog · 3 years

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The game many people wanted to be released worldwide! My response? No... Just No!

The Story

The story is about a young boy who is left to face a war after a neighbouring country is attacked.

The story is REALLY weak! It is a rip-off of the first game, but it is a bad rip-off! The story is barebones and feels like one of those Chinese hacks that can be seen in many gamer YouTube videos.

The main problem is that the story doesn't take any risks! The other Fire Emblem games dealt with controversial topics such as propaganda, racial issues, death, incest and many other topics that very few games (heck, even more modern games) deal with in an un-opinionated view. This game does none of these and goes for the cliché beat the bad guys and win without putting in any effort whatsoever!

But the worst part is that this game has a multiple ending feature that as far as I'm aware, only Awakening currently has. But in this game, you HAVE to beat the gaiden chapters (I'll get to them in a minute) to unlock the true ending. That wouldn't be bad but you don't know this till chapter 18 or so and the alternative ending is an half assed one. Why not have an ending where the heroes die instead of the dragon just disappearing into thin air?

The Characters

The characters are all uninteresting and the only memorable trait they have is that you can see the resemblance of their parents from Fire Emblem 7. But other than that, they are just clones of the characters from the first Fire Emblem game that were made nearly 12 years before this game! But at least those characters are memorable and that people still remember most of the cast of that game. While I can't remember ANYONE in this game except Roy since he is a Smash Bros. character, but that's all he is to me. A bland fighter that's not even worth remembering. In fact, in Smash Bros, he was a Marth clone!

And don't get me started with the credits where we are told what happens to the characters after the ending of the game in usually one paragraph. In this game, we are given only a sentence that is copied and pasted onto most of the characters endings. I am NOT kidding!

The Gameplay

The gameplay is the same as any other Fire Emblem title except for one thing, which is by far the worst thing about this game...

The gameplay is broken beyond belief!

I am not kidding! Roy is by far the weakest Lord I've ever used, even though I had a 97% chance of hitting, he kept missing the enemy on more than one occasion. Which made him useless in battle.

The lords are broken as well (especially chapter 7: Rebellion of Ostia) where I was caught in a stalemate with the boss of these chapters for at least half an hour (Chapter 7's boss being an entire hour). Even with my strongest fighters were caught in a stalemate and my slightly weaker fighters got one hit KOs, even when the boss had only a 5% chance of hitting me. 5% my ASS!

But before you say that the game percentages are backwards, they are more or less normal when it is a normal unit VS a normal grunt. What the fuck?!

The gaiden chapters in this game a mandatory which is annoying because of the broken gameplay and uninteresting dialogue scenes between characters.

And guess what? The true final boss (the dragon) in this game is extremely easy! It is easier than the final boss in Sacred Stones! And the character endings are exactly the same as before, making the entire final chapters pointless!!!

The sound effects are unbearable because the music is so loud! I expect this from bad movies, not video games!

Final Thoughts

Overall, this is the WORST Fire Emblem game I have ever played! And I am thankful that it never got an official Worldwide release. Sacred Stones is a bad Fire Emblem game by the series standards, but at least the game is playable unlike this piece of junk which doesn't deserve the Fire Emblem name on the title! If you want to play a Fire Emblem game, anyone of them is far more enjoyable than this one!

The Story 1/5 The Characters 1.5/5 The Gameplay 0.5/5

Overall 1/5

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fatesdeepdive · 3 years

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Entry 33: Dawn Breaks

No Supports or castle stuff today. It’s time to end things.

Birthright Chapter 27: King Garon

Corrin enters the throne room to fight Garon, who stands up from his throne wielding a massive axe. Garon compliments us for making it so far. When Corrin mentions the deaths of Xander and Elise, Garon calls Xander a pawn, showing no remorse. You know, I like Xander as a villian, but goddamn did he get the short end of the stick in terms of parents to die fighting for.

Corrin attacks Garon, doing no damage. Azura begins singing and Garon grabs her by the throat. What are you doing, stepdad? Garon orders Corrin to stand down, using Azura as a hostage.

Ryoma attempts to negotiate an end to the war and Garon asks Ryoma to hand over all of Hoshido. And also kill himself. Then Garon attacks Ryoma with a fireball. I don’t think Garon’s good at negotiations.

Ranjito, Ryoma’s sword, begins glowing for some reason. Like Fujin Yumi before, it upgrades Yato, this time into a cool curved sword with a white glow. Wielding the new Blazing Yato, which is really OP, Corrin manages to hurt Garon.

This chapter sees us charging through the throne room, taking on an army of tough enemies who my high leveled units cut through like butter. Wait a minute, didn’t we fight Iago in the throne room? Does Garon have two throne rooms? Yeah, that tracks.

Garon has powerful stats, as well as skills that stop criticals and reduce the stats of units who attack him. But also Corrin and Ryoma are really strong and killed him easily.

Then Garon gets back up and trunks into an ugly dragon that demolishes Corrin and shatters Yato. Ryoma and Takumi run in to protect Corrin and also get taken out. Garon attempts to breath fire on the princes and Corrin jumps in front of them, T-Posing to block the attack. Corrin falls over, presumably dead.

Birthright Endgame: Dawn Breaks

The final chapter of Birthright, which has a name that is far too close to that of the fourth Twilight book for my liking, begins with Corrin floating in a black void. She wakes up back at the start of the game, in her bedroom, with Flora and Lilith standing over her, telling her to wake up. Either we’re in hell, or the entire game was a flashforward.

Corrin doesn’t remember anything and acts like everything is fine. Xander and Elise walk in and tell Corrin to wake up. Corrin says she’s happy, as long as everyone is with her. Then she remembers everything bad that happened to her. Xander tells her she can either remain in the afterlife, or go back and fight. Corrin hears echoes of Ryoma and Azura being attacked by Garon and Corrin decides to keep fighting.

All of the units we brought into the final battle shout cheers of encouragement; all of them are nice, but kinda generic, with two exceptions. Yukimura begs for Mikoto to lead Corrin back to the world of the living, which is really nice. And Azama says that Corrin isn’t destined to die for another 72 years and 19 days, which implies he knows exactly when each of my units will die. Which explains a lot.

Overall, this scene is great. It’s blatantly reused from Awakening with less narrative connection, but it’s still good.

Corrin says goodbye to her fallen friends, with scene shifting between the Frost Village, Training Grounds, and Dueling Grounds. Also, now that I think about it, where the fuck is Gunter? Did he have something more important going on? I know that Conquest and Revelations reveal he’s still alive, but I’m pretty sure he’s dead in this story path. Dick.

Corrin awakens, wielding a repaired Blazing Yato. Somehow. The repaired version of Yato, despite having the same stats, can now block Dragon Garon’s attacks. Neat.

We aren’t given an opportunity to head back to Fort Kenshi between chapters, but that’s fine. This battle has us charging through the ruins of the throne room to take out Garon. Again.

At the start of the battle, Azura begins singing her magic song, weakening Garon. LITWAA leads into the final battle theme, which is great. I don’t praise this game’s music enough; all of it is good and this battle theme in particular is amazing. As Garon begins to weaken, he begs for Anankos to give him strength. I wonder if that’ll end up being important.

Garon hits hard enough to one-shot most of our units and has fantastic defensive stats. Unlike the last round, he doesn’t wield an axe, meaning we can’t take him out by abusing the weapon triangle. This battle would genuinely be very hard...on hard mode. On normal I can just bum rush him and end the battle in two turns. Fittingly, Corrin ended up with the final blow.

Garon transforms back into a human and tells us he should have killed us as a child. As he dies, he says that perhaps this is what he wanted all along, the sweet release of death. He mumbles about how he lost his mind and became something, then dissolves into bubbles. Corrin wonders about what Garon’s deal was. Unfortunately, we need to buy some DLC to find out.

Azura faints, having pushed herself too far to stop Garon. Azura says that she can die in peace, knowing that everyone else will be safe. As Azura fades away, she asks Corrin to smile for her, one last time.

I know I compare this game negatively to Awakening a lot, which it definitely deserves, but I’d like to praise it for using its anime cutscenes in the final chapters, something Awakening didn’t. It really helps the dramatic moments hit hard.

Ryoma is crowned king of Hoshido, promising to bring the world into a new age of peace. Ryoma upholds his promise and helps rebuild Nohr with Hoshido’s resources. Everyone cries tears of joy.

Corrin meets with Leo and Camilla, who mourn the deaths of their siblings, and finds out that Leo is now king. Afterwards, she heads to the lake where she met Azura. Azura’s ghost tells Corrin to look into the lake, to find something hidden deep, before disappearing. The final cutscene shows the Hoshidan royals, happy together, meeting at a statue of Mikoto.

The credits roll, giving epilogues for all of our units and showing their battles/kills. I’ll be going through all the epilogues in bulk at the end of Revelations, but I would like to note my top units: Kaze, Silas, Mozu, Ryoma, and surprisingly, Azama. Who had close to 2000 battles because I sent him and Azura alone into a battle to build Support and unlock a Paralogue and just let enemies beat the shit out of him for a while.

As well as my least used units: Selkie, Caeldori, and Rhajat. Which isn’t surprising, considering I used them so rarely that I haven’t even mentioned recruiting them yet. My worst non Paralogue unit was Yukimura, followed by Shura and Izana. My least used actual units were...Sakura and Jakob. Sigh.

Saizo. The unit with the least real battles was Saizo. That’s what I was getting at. Followed by Kaden and Takumi. That’s not to say any of them were bad, Takumi in particular is insanely overpowered; I just didn’t need to feed him kills to keep him useful.

After the credits, the game gave me the option to select a few units to keep and recruit in later playthroughs. I only chose one, my max strength, eight movement Blacksmith: Kenshi. We’ll be seeing him again, eventually.

Closing Thoughts

Replaying Birthright has given me a new appreciation for Fire Emblem Fates. It’s a very flawed game, but to be honest, I had a great time. I’ve focussed on the writing, primarily, but the gameplay in Fates is fantastic. It’s a solid Fire Emblem game and I like Fire Emblem. Hell, things like personal skills, the rebuilt weapon triangle, and fixing pair-up make it a fantastic Fire Emblem game. My only complaint is that it’s a bit easy at times. Part of this stems from me playing Normal/Casual for this blog; I started a Hard/Classic playthrough in my spare time and it fixes most of the issues. The maps, although not as phenomenal as Conquest, are still varied and creative.

And then we have the writing, which is very hit or miss. I’ve explained my problems with this game before (black and white morality, incest, half of the Supports are forgettable), but to be honest, I do enjoy a lot of Birthright’s writing. It’s rarely anything special, but it gets the job done and occasionally has these fantastic moments of drama.

Birthright is a solid game that deserves a spot in the Fire Emblem series. If you haven’t played Fates before, I would recommend playing it.

Now comes Conquest, which has even better gameplay and also...even worse writing. Yay. But first, I’m going to be going through some of the DLC and Paralogues for Birthright.

#fire emblem #fe fates #fe 14 #fire emblem birthright #hoshido #ryoma fe #corrin fe #azura fe #garon fe

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