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#the face i love yeah bojan we get it
me-sploh-rada-imas · 2 months
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something something lice koje volim ja [x]
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izpira-se-zlato · 2 months
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Milan, 27.03.24
Gig report! Can't believe there's only two to go after this one :o (for me)
I showed up at 4:45pm (bc I'd chosen to get food at the station) and was still a lower number than in Munich at 2pm. Yeah.
didn't really queue thus, which always makes gigs a bit… different. I miss chatting with people before gigs, but I hadn't wanted to fly (even though after the venue move that would have been even easier. But also catching a 7:30 flight the morning after a gig. Yeah, no)
the queue kinda fell apart because you needed a membership card to get into the venue. We didn't have to pay. But they had to handwrite it for us. Emotions ran a little high
the venue was. Something. Sorta a… festival tent? Not quite outdoors, but definitely Interesting
due to the proximity to the airport, the radio frequencies from planes kept interfering with the equipment. Bojan attempted to explain it to us, but he didn't know it himself and thus mostly listened. I feared for the worst at that point, ngl. They didn't look particularly angry to me, but Bojan was like, "Don't be angry, Jan!" so I was like 😬
Bojan tried to get Jure and then also Nace to jam while they were figuring out their tech issues (Always Something Problem), but it meant Jan couldn't hear himself enough and so we just watched him wander on stage while Bojan tried to entertain us
We got ASTP and Proti Toku for soundchek. My first ASTP in 12 gigs on this tour! Curious to see what we'll get today
Bojan repeatedly called Jan "Jenzo" and then later claimed "Just so you know, Jan's Italian name is Jenzo!" with which the crowd disagreed (and let him know that it should be Gianni)
soundcheck was pretty cold and I almost regretted not having taken my jacket (but it did warm up)
the opener was a brass band. Unexpected but actually fun. Fit the gig, somehow
they played a lot of medleys of known songs and the crowd was pretty into it
JC! God, I barely can believe that it was the second-to-last tie I saw him live like that. I love his acoustic set a lot (in particular the first and last songs xD)
He accidentally unplugged his guitar last night. Kinda a funny moment
pretty sure the hype list was changed. Dirty Little Secret made it into the cut, and to our surprise, Zitti e Buoni didn't. Weird choice, Primož (or so I assume)
Actual gig!
We got Jan in a capybaster shirt and Nace in the cosy sweater and Bojan in a buttoned shirt he got gifted during soundcheck and Jure in the gorgeous metallic sweater and Kris in another cozy sweater
The Jance was off the fucking charts, jfc I hate them idk what was in the air. Probably hadn't seen each other all day (I'm not actually complaining)
We got SSOL opener into… Ne Bi Smel into Ona into Tokio
During Ne Bi Smel Jan was standing in front of Nace's mic so Nace had to push him away to sing the backing vocals (grinning all the while)
Bojan went, "This night is gonna be multilingual" so I was like, oh, Tokio, but no! "We had English, then Slovene, now we're gonna add some Serbian!" Changing his quips for the final stretch, huh?
Nace singing fucking "Dok tebe sunce greje, mi amore" at Jan. I hate him (While the sun warms you up, my love, according to lyrics translate)
They also played at each other during NBS because of course they did
Jan back on Jure's snare drum for the end. Multi-instrumentalist
Tokio! I didn't catch it on video, but Nace leaned in and bumped his nose into Jan's breast? Kissed his coat? I have no clue what he did but I was like ??? Nace?
At the end, they chased each ohter in circles again, and Nace either went down on one knee in front of Jan or almost did so. When the lights came back on, Nace patted Jan's chest while laughing (couldn't make out Jan's expression)
before NGVOT, Nace was thrown bread. A plushie? Actual bread? I don't know
Nace kept looking over at Jan during NGVOT, and when Jan finally met his gaze, he turned to him so they played at each other. Jan was making a mock-surprised grimacing face and playing? And then they just. Turned back to the front. What the fuck, guys
they just. kept looking at each other. Jan looking at Nace while Nace was doing backing vocals. Nace looking back as soon as he was done. Them swaying in sync while Nace smiled smugly about it. And at the end, they did the swaying like. In opposite cycles? So both sawying in and both swaying away, until Nace turned and bent his knees a little and yelled up into Jan's face. Yeah idk.
we didn't only get Bluza but got it before Šta bih ja
Kris came over to hug Jan during Bluza 🥰😭
Jan's expressions during the ending were. Something 😂
more silliness from Jan and Nace during Šta bih ja
Bojan: "This is a new song! Why do you know it"
also uh. Synchronised hip thrusting while facing each other at the end of the song. Yeah. Jfc remember you're on a stage, guys
Jan either messed up the opening of Demoni or his guitar gave out for a hot second but he was wearing a very oops expression
Jan grasped Nace's shoulders during Demoni and I think spoke the words at him? Or said something else? But that wouldn't make sense? Nace nodded and patted Jan's chest in turn
Got the Demoni scream
PiJano Padam. Bojan looked really tired during that song. Jfc get this man to take a break
Intense staring at each other at the beginning of Umazane until Nace said something to Jan and then both grinned and Nace wandered off
Nace was pretty silly at the start of the karaoke bit and like. gestured at Jan theatrically and then mimed falling over. Dork
We got the OG OG Umazane Misli chorus. The one Bojan wrote in a hurry the first time they performed it. Made my night -- and Kris's because it's where the very smiley/laughing Kris pics during UM came from
@kurooscoffee/@jokeroutsubs had prepared UNO reserve cards to make the boys sing. Which made the rounds already but gaaah it was !!!!!!
Jan declaiming the verse because "[he] can't sing so [he's] not gonna sing. [He's] gonna interpret it." And interpret he did😂
Nace with the "oh oh" before he started jfc the dork
Jan ducking under Nace's arm to play his bass after he failed to catch Nace's attention to offer, and then just. Going for it.
Nace slinging an arm around Jan
Nace singing "morning smells like you" right at Jan while Jan keeps looking up at him from playing chords on Nace's bass
Kris "Jan! Play, play the melody, I need the harmony!" (and Jan did)
god we need more Kris singing plssss
Kris sang the verse mostly at Nace
Jure going "oooh fuck!" and not knowing the entire lyrics 😂😂 Jance this and Jance that, but that made my night
I didn't see Bojan at barricade cheering his band mates on but he was and just. Gah. It was such a wholesome thing I hate them
Nace posed for pictures with a silly expression, and then Jance posed for a combined heart for someone
Plastika saw Bojan caress Nace and then hug Jan from behind (no choking tho)
During Novi Val, Jance stood off to the side being Jance for quite a while, while Jure had his hand weirdly on Bojan's back?
They looked really exhausted by the end which. Mood.
Post gig:
The venue had a scrolling LED screen that scrolled "Everybody's Waiting At The Ball" (thanks, Kris, for the restory!)
Had a chat with Dean (lovely) and JC Stewart (also lovely) and learned that JC and Conor used to live together which is why JC was out with Conor to be introduced to the boys (allegedly before Christmas, though JC wasn't 100%)
hung around the gate after the show even though it was pretty clear they wouldn't say hi, but it gave us a chance to see Mark (who'd surprised the boys with a visit) as he was waiting for someone to let him off the venue grounds. "Well, they'll have to open this at some point, they ordered McDonald's!"
Spoiler: they did not open the gate for McDonalds. Primož tried to scale it, which almost worked but looked dangerous, and so the delivery person threw it over the top. It was a spectacle
by that point, Mark had been let out the old-fashioned way though
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anxious-witch · 8 months
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Top five moments what made you go "yeah that boy is not straight" about Bojan? (for science)
Ohh, man that's a very good question
(Also please no one take this seriously, he is straight until proven otherwise, this is just for fun)
On number five we have a classic example of gay panic, aka Bojan pretending to think Jere meant Ruby and then coming back and calling him baby back (he is so me fr)
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Then at number four we have-leaving your friends to do an interview without you, while you are getting lunch with your bf. Absolutely smitten 10/10
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At number three we have famous Tavastia gig one. I mean. Com'on. You know he had a realization ™️ here. You can see it clesrly on his face
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At number two is ofc: "Jere what is ljubav?" While looking at him like this. Like my bro, my bestie. This is not how you look at your friends. That is not a tone of voice you say "ljubav" when teaching them new words in your mother tongue(trust me I'm slavic I know). I have heard ljubav be uttered with less adoration at a wedding.
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And at number one we have THIS FUCKING MOMENT. The touching, the eye contact the sheer WONDER on Bojan's face. This is literally the face of someone seeing their soulmate and going "God I love you sm I cannot believe you are real". No, you cannot convince me otherwise
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If you made it this far, thank you for joining us for Rio's newest episode of making everyone queer. Thank you anon for that wonderful question, I loved answering it
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king-krisu · 8 months
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Ok I need to tell you the way me meeting Jure happened bcs I just think it's funny:
Me and my friend got to Logomo at like 16.30 or something bcs we were planning to just party at the back. We went to sit on the ground by the back service entrance bcs we just wanted sun and a peaceful spot away from the crowd lol. We sat there for like 45min, during which I had complained about forgetting my cigarettes at home and also about how cute Jure actually is (yes these were related idk). We also heard soundcheck and saw the Häärijä Bojan story being filmed lmao. Suddenly, the door opened and I see a blond mop of hair and go "guys thats Jure" and he sat straight down to have a cigarette
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This photo is important bcs you need to see the distance (or lack thereof) we're talking about. Now, the second he got there we went deathly quiet and were unsure if we should bother him since he was sick the day before, and in the end we let him sit there for like 5-10min by himself. What's funny about this is that my friend (in the photo) is German so we were speaking english, meaning that not even a language barrier could cover us and he could just hear everything 💀. AND ALSO THERE WAS NO DISTANCE idk what we were thinking honestly.
Me and 2 others then finally gathered our courage and thought if we just politely give him our gifts etc he'll be okay, and we went over. Someone had a notebook for him to draw a tattoo saying Novi Val and he spent like genuienly 4min writing a 2 word sentence and the N ended up looking like an H so idk what he was doodling. Then we just talked for like 10min with him, during which I had such a humbling moment it was unreal. When we asked him if they plan on staying after the tour, he said no and that they'd be flying to Venice on the weekend. To this all of us went "Ohhh that's so nice!" until he went "Yeah because we have such bad luck with flights so we never have a straight flight to Ljubljana", like all of us really thought he meant they'd have some holiday in Venice or smth 💀. Anywayss I also might've told him I booked tickets to see them in Wrocław even though I haven't done that yet (only concert tickets) but ig I have to now lmao.
Later he reached into his pocket to pull out another cigarette, and I quickly gave him my pack that I had made him. It was this painted over light pink one with JO blue and yellow rhinestones, heart sequins and a painted cat at the back lmao. It was SO babygirl glittery and he loved it. Then he shared some with us and whatever cancer I might've gotten was worth it only so I can say I've used Jure's lighter now (that has the word Joker on it lmao):
(this video is shit but I only wanted audio of his reaction to my gift and I didn't want to have a camera in his face lol, I only recorded like 2min out of 10 or smth haha)
Anywayss then after a while he got up and we took some photos with him, and he went back inside to have some lunch (it was 17.30 atp 😐). Maybe I didn't get to meet Jance this tour but this encounter was so sweet and unexpected, and Jure really is as nice as he appears online lol (and also bcs he said he felt a lot better than the day before at Tavastia)
(Never getting over the fact that he later put the ciggies on his story, I NEED to know what the others thought of them)
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da-proti-toku-grem · 3 months
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7 with bojere?
I'm going to be honest here, this one was a bit harder for me to write because I've never written them (or Jere) and I haven't read a single bojere fic since September (or October maybe?) so… yeah. But I hope it didn't turned out too bad 😅
Oh btw! Since I already posted all the previous ones on ao3 (you can find the links in my pinned post), from now on I'll post them both here and on ao3 directly. So, if you prefer to read there or whatever you can find the link at the end of each post (and of course, kudos and comments are always appreciated ☺🩷)
Send me a Ship and a Number and I will Write a Kiss
7. … to shut them up.
Jere was curled up in bed, mindlessly scrolling on his phone while some random reality show played on the back, but he wasn't paying attention to any of that.
Having a break from the tour and having time to be alone and relax was really nice, but having more time alone also meant having more time to think, and more time to think meant that his thoughts drifted to a certain brown-haired Slovenian guy more often than usual.
That soft brown hair with those few white strands that gave it a really nice touch, those chocolate brown eyes that sparkled when they looked at something – or someone – he loved and wrinkled a little when he smiled, that radiant smile that never failed to make you smile even on the worst days, those soft lips that he couldn't wait to feel again on his, the feeling of his arms around his body, pulling him close... All of him.
Usually, at times like this, Jere would call him. Just hearing his voice or seeing his face, even through a screen, always made the Finn feel a little better. But unfortunately, Bojan had let him know in the morning that he had a busy day ahead of him – something about them having to spend all day in the studio discussing options for their next song – so he probably wouldn't be able to talk to him until the evening.
Just a couple more hours, he thought, sighing heavily and putting the phone back on the bedside table. Maybe a little nap would help the time pass faster.
Just as his eyelids began to grow heavy and he began to feel his body relaxing, drifting closer and closer to sleep, soft hair and brown eyes the only things occupying his mind, the unpleasant sound of the doorbell echoed through the house.
Groaning, he threw off the blanket and got out of bed, walking towards the apartment door. He wasn't expecting any visits, so it had better be something important enough to interrupt his nap.
Out of all the possible people who could have been behind the door, he definitely wasn't expecting this one.
Bojan, his Bojan, was there, standing in front of his door with a big smile on his face, a suitcase beside him, and a box of chocolates in his left hand.
A million questions flashed through Jere's still half-asleep mind at that moment. How was he here? Shouldn't he be in the studio in Slovenia? How did he get here? Was he dreaming? Yes, he was definitely dreaming. This was not real. His mind was playing tricks on him.
He realized he had gone too long without saying anything when he saw Bojan's smile fade, being replaced by an expression of concern – perhaps a hint of insecurity.
“Hey, Jere, are you okay?” The younger broke the silence before quickly starting to explain himself. “Shit, I'm sorry; I should’ve let you know I was coming. I know I told you we were going to be in the studio all day, but I- I lied. I wanted it to be a surprise, so I called Mikke to find out when you'd be home. It's just... We haven't seen each other for such a long time and... and I missed you so fucking much, and I couldn't wait to see you and…”
God, he's so cute, Jere thought before he grabbed his face in his hands and pulled him close, pressing their lips together in a kiss that he hoped would be able to show how excited and happy he was that his boyfriend was there.
He could feel the Slovene slowly relax and begin to reciprocate the kiss. Jere's hands moved down from Bojan's face, caressing his arms until they reached his hands, which were still holding his stuff. The older could feel a shiver run through Bojan's body as his tongue licked his bottom lip teasingly.
Before the kiss could get any heated and they ended up making out in the middle of the hallway, where anyone could walk in on them at any minute, the Finn reluctantly pulled away from Bojan, earning a little whine from the other.
“Come inside, yes?” Jere said, tugging on his arm until he pulled him inside the apartment, closing the door behind them.
Bojan set the suitcase aside and dropped the box of chocolates on the small table at the entrance, turning to look at Jere, who immediately threw himself into his arms. The action almost made them both fall to the floor, causing them to burst out laughing.
Amidst laughter, Jere wrapped his arms around Bojan. “I've missed you so so much,” he said, accenting each word with a kiss somewhere on his face, making him giggle.
“I've missed you too, Jerč, so so much,” Bojan replied, giving him a warm smile and bending down a little until their lips met again in a tender kiss.
And there it was – that laughter he so longed to hear next to that ear, those brown eyes that sparkled brighter than ever when they looked at him, those arms that wrapped around him and clung to him almost as if afraid that it was all a dream and he might wake up at any moment, and those soft lips he so loved to feel on his.
If he had to describe the feeling in one word, he wouldn't hesitate for a second before saying "home".
masterlist | ao3
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theraggedygirl11 · 3 months
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Sospeso tra finzione e realtà
SUMMARY: Bojan was turned into a vampire some years before. The band met the famous photographer Damon Baker while in London and now it's time for Bojan's photoshoot, but something unpleasant happens.
PAIRING: Bojan Cvjetićanin/Kris Guštin/Damon Baker (+kind of implied poly!jo)
WARNINGS: anxiety/panic attack, blood, sex (not too explicit), angst and more angst, hurt/comfort, death/homicide mentioned, slight torture
WORDS COUNT: 4.891
LINK: AO3
NOTES: This comes from a collective work that's going on since last July or August, I don't remember. The AUs spawned on their own, we have too many and you'll find everything under the tag #vampire!bojan and #vampire!bojan storyline. So, I'd like to thank @signoraviolettavalery who supported my nocturnal brainrot in this post here, and also @touchyourblood and @nyx-aira who added a general background in this other post.
The title comes from this Italian song, feel free to go and listen to it. Here you can read the translation into English.
This is not beta-read, we die like men here! I just took what @signoraviolettavalery and I wrote, put it together and wrote something more around it
I just hope I added every tw in the tags, if something's missing, feel free to tell me and I'll add them!
* * *
“Bojan, are you sure you want to do this?” Kris asks while looking at the vampire. “You know you’ll be all alone with Damon, right? And that you’ll end up showing your vulnerable side?” 
“Yes, Krisko. I’m fine, and I’ll be fine,” he reassures him before pecking his lips. “I fed on Jure this morning, I’m relaxed, I feel good, London is showing its sunny side and I’m ready to conquer the world!” He even giggles. He’s truly in a good mood and full of energy. 
“Call any of us if anything happens, ok?” Kris looks at him, still worried. 
“Yeah, sure, don’t worry,” Bojan winks at him, then quickly kisses the others before leaving their apartment to go and meet Damon at his house. 
Damon and he already discussed about his photoshoot, so Bojan knows what he’s about to face. He’s truly relaxed, he didn’t lie to Kris. That part of his life is over, behind his back forever. 
As soon as he arrives at Damon’s, he changes his clothes to the ones they chose for his photoshoot: tight leather trousers, a leather belt with a broken heart on it, an oversized shirt and an untied bowtie around his neck. Oh, he loves this outfit, it’s sexy and makes him look so much masculine, but at the same time he starts feeling uncomfortable, uneasiness crawling up his spine. The Bojan he sees in the mirror isn’t the Bojan he wants to show to the world. He notices a shade of red in his eyes and immediately changes them back to brown. 
“Are you ready, honey?” Damon asks while getting closer to Bojan. “Oh, you look amazing, sweety. I could ride this cowboy any time! Or you could ride me,” he winks. 
Bojan giggles. He’s now used to Damon flirting with him. He likes it. “We can go, I’m ready.” 
The photoshoot starts. The poses that Bojan decides to do exhale aggressiveness and masculinity, and the more the photoshoot goes on, the more aggressive they become. He doesn’t want to, but his instincts tell him to do so, to assert his dominance over the person who’s taking pictures and the ones that will see them. He’s unconsciously showing the predator inside him that is violently ramping against the weak human surface, it wants to come out because it feels in danger. And what does an animal in a dangerous situation? It shows aggressiveness and attacks. 
The moment Damon gets closer with his camera, something snaps inside Bojan. His entire body is petrified. His mind shows him a memory he thought he had locked up in the deepest corner of his mind. He’s again in front of her, she’s taking pictures of him right after she fed on him. He’s covered in blood, he’s crying and begging her because he’s feeling dizzy, he just wants her to lick the bitemarks to close them or he will bleed off.  
But she keeps taking those pictures, she grins showing her fangs and her lips still stained with blood of the most vibrant shade of red. She’s in full control and the only thing he can do is stay there and hoping she will make him stop bleeding. Tears run down his face. He’s so scared, so powerless and hopeless. He wants that all that ends as soon as possible. 
In the present Bojan’s eyes got red. He didn’t even notice, at least until Damon brings him back from the spiral he was falling into. 
“W-What are-” 
He can’t even finish the sentence. Bojan snaps back into reality and in a blink of an eye he attacks the photographer in front of him, pinning him down on the ground. The camera slides on the floor while he grabs the human’s wrists with his hands and blocks them above his head. He growls, showing his fangs in an intimidating way. Bojan’s on top of the photographer, his instincts full in control of his actions, he can’t even recognize Damon. 
“B-Bojan...?” Damon whimpers, terrified. 
The fog that invaded Bojan's mind and finally fades away and he can restraint his vampiric instincts. He stands up faster than a normal human would. He’s afraid of what he just did, he feels so ashamed for having lost his control. 
“I-I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to-” 
He just runs away, out of the window. He doesn’t care if someone sees him, he just needs to go away, far, far away from Damon. He looks like a scared prey chased by an unknown predator. While he tries to remember where to go to reunite with his bandmates, he looks around, overwhelmed by sounds and smells and colours and lights. 
He’s panting, he’s panicking, his mind is barely functioning at this point, he’s letting his impulses rule over his actions. He doesn’t even know how, but he manages to go back to the apartment, jumping from one roof to the other. 
Bojan enters the room where Nace and Kris sleep through the window. He immediately searches for Kris’s colourful sweater in his suitcase. He needs some familiar scent around him to calm himself down. His heart is beating fast in his chest, his eyes are still red. He’s still wearing the clothes he was using in the photoshoot. 
When he finds the sweater, he puts it immediately on and lets Kris’s smell surround him. He takes deep breaths and closes his eyes. He tries to block everything else out. He sits on the ground, right next to the bed. His knees are against his chest and his arms embrace them. He’s trying so hard to look smaller. 
You are safe, Bojan. You are safe. Damon is alive, you didn’t kill him. You are safe. He keeps repeating these sentences in his mind, trying to regain control over his body, now dominated by fear and panic. He is shaking too. 
After some minutes someone enters. He’s too focused on Kris’s scent to identify who that person is. 
“Bojan?” This voice is worried.  
Soon after a hand is laying on his shoulder. Bojan winces and raises his head suddenly. It’s Nace. 
“What happened?” 
Bojan doesn’t answer, he just hugs Nace and hides his face against his chest.  
“I-I couldn’t do it. I-I showed myself. He knows-” 
“Hush, hush,” Nace gently caresses his hair after hugging him back. “It’s ok,” he whispers. “Breathe. You are safe here, no one’s going to hurt you here.” 
It takes Bojan at least fifteen minutes to calm down. He slipped, he thought he could be strong enough to face that photoshoot, but something clearly snapped in him and made him reveal himself. And he’s so ashamed of it. 
“Let’s go to the others,” Nace suggests when he sees that Bojan is a little bit more relaxed. His eyes are now brown and he stopped shaking. 
They go down the stairs together, holding hands. He can hear the others talking in that small living room, but their voices stop when they see Nace with Bojan, with Kris’s sweater and not his own clothes on. They know that something’s wrong. And Bojan confirms their suspects. 
“He knows.” 
Two simple words, but they all understand.  
“Oh, Bojč,” Kris sighs, then stands up and hugs the vampire. 
“I-I thought I was over her, b-but-” 
“It doesn’t matter,” Kris replies, interrupting him. “We’ll talk to Damon and we’ll find a solution. But now you are more important. Come here and sit with us.” 
That evening the band take care of Bojan. They cuddle with him, they prepare his favourite human food, they make him feel comfortable, safe and loved. And in the end he falls asleep on Jure’s shoulder, exhausted by the intense emotions he felt that day. 
Nace takes him in his and Kris’s room so they can sleep with him in the middle. It is a “standard procedure” when Bojan happens to have a bad day. Having familiar scents around him helps him to relax and feel safe. 
The next day Kris wakes up before anyone else because he needs to drink some water. He goes downstairs, but his attention is caught by his phone buzzing. He takes it. It’s a message from Damon. 
Damon: Hey Kris. Yesterday happened something uncomfortable during Bojan’s photoshoot. I’m really sorry. 
Damon is still online and is trying to write something else, but he keeps stopping. Kris decides to reply. 
Kris: We know he’s a vampire. He told us what happened yesterday. 
Damon: I guessed you should know, you are so intimate with one another 
Damon: Is he ok? 
Kris: More or less, he managed to sleep at least 
Damon: Do you think Bojan would like to meet me again? 
Damon: I just want to talk with him 
A couple of days later, a bit reluctantly, Bojan is again at Damon’s house. He drank blood before going, just to be able to control himself better. In a bag he has the clothes he wore the other day. 
Damon lets him in and welcomes him with a smile.  
Bojan knows Damon is afraid of him, he can smell his fear in the air and feel it in his heart beating faster than the usual. He harnesses his predator’s instincts with all the strength he has. He doesn’t want to be intimidating. 
They sit, Damon on an armchair, Bojan on the couch. They are far from each other. There’s silence between them, both are nervous. But Damon talks first. 
"Look, I'm still a little scared. I mean, who wouldn't be? It's human instinct, right? You'd think there was something wrong if I wasn't scared." And Bojan, who remembers what it feels like to be preyed on, nods.  
"But I've also gotten to know you. I've gotten to see you. I think you're a good person. And I think you're just as scared of what you are. Maybe even more."  
Bojan nods again. "This thing...it's like this monster inside me that I have to control. A demon."  
"I know a little something about having a demon inside me," Damon says and Bojan's eyes widen. Oh. "But you find ways to control it, right? To cope. A support network, friends who keep you from falling."
Bojan nods again. "Kad neman tebe, sa mnom su moji demoni," he says. "It's from our song. 'when you're not with me, my demons are with me.' My friends are there for me, and they keep the demons away."  
Silence falls again between them. Well, at least for Damon. Bojan’s ears are dominated by the constant beating of Damon’s heart, the blood pumping in his vessels that sings to him, calls him. 
Damon breaks again the silence and asks one basic question. "Do you want to talk about it?" 
Bojan sits straight, his body stiffens. Damon is curious, but his vampire instincts allow him to recognize the stance of a prey that's trying to not look nervous or scared.  
Should he talk? Should he tell him how he got turned? Should he explain to Damon why he snapped during the photoshoot? Should he really allow himself to be this vulnerable with a guy he barely knows? 
But Damon, poor little scared human Damon, seeing that Bojan doesn't talk, asks him another question, trying a new way to communicate with him.  
"How should I approach you? Like, are there movements or stuff I should avoid doing to make you feel more comfortable? Or words, I don't know. I don’t want to trigger any negative reaction in you." 
Bojan then starts talking, even if he's hesitant. He explains that his senses are much sharper than a human’s, so he's bothered by strong noises, intense lights, very rich smells, but for a brief period of time he can resist.  
"How do I smell like?" 
"I beg your pardon?" Bojan is really confused. Why that question? 
"How do I smell like? How's my scent?" 
Bojan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, focusing on Damon. The scent of fear is slowly disappearing. "It's sweet. Comfortable. It makes me feel safe, in some way," and it’s tempting, but he keeps these words for himself.  
And there Damon smiles widely. "That's perfect, because I have something for you to wear, honey." He gets up and takes this stripped and fluffy black and white piece of clothing from a bag next to the armchair. "This is my favourite sweater. It makes me feel safe and I'd like you to wear it," and stands up, gets closer and hands him the sweater, which of course is soaked in Damon's scent. 
Bojan's brain stops working because, well, he didn't expect this reaction. Damon, still afraid of him, is asking him to wear a piece of clothing that makes him feel safe. Some sort of peace offering.  
I want you to feel safe with me, even though I’m still scared. This is how Bojan reads this gesture. His hearts almost melts. 
He grabs the sweater and smells it, inhaling his scent and shivering. He quickly takes off his jacket and shirt, then wears the sweater. It’s warm and fluffly and soft. He’s immediately enwrapped by Damon’s scent. 
“It suits you,” Damon says, giggling. 
“It’s a nice sweater,” Bojan replies, nodding and hinting a shy smile.  
The vampire is really feeling safe with it on. He wasn’t afraid of Damon per se, he’s not dangerous, it was the photoshoot that made him feel too vulnerable and made resurface bad memories. 
Damon, seeing that Bojan is lulled by the comfort of his sweater, tentatively suggests "if you're comfortable with it...I'd like to photograph that side of you, too. Not for the public, of course. Just...for us. Photography is how I get to know someone, and that's a part of you too."  
"I don't want to scare you," Bojan admits.  
"I'm already scared. But that doesn't matter. I want to know you, all of you."  
Their eyes meet, prey and predator, human and vampire, two creatures completely different but similar at the same time. And Bojan feels some kind of connection with Damon, something he haven’t felt since the first time he saw his bandmates after the transformation. 
In the end Bojan agrees to this, tentatively. But he wants Kris to be there with him, just in case. Kris knows exactly how to calm him down. He will know what to do or say if he loses control. 
“You won’t need me, you're not going to lose control," Kris says while looking at the vampire. "Even if he does smell extra tasty."  
"How do you know that?" Bojan asks.  
"I know you," Kris replies. "I know that when you inhale his scent, you want." 
Bojan diverts his look and starts fidgeting with the hem of his sweater. Well, with Jan’s sweater. Having his bandmates clothes on helps him relax and push back his anxiety, so it’s easy seeing him with clothes owned by the others. 
A couple of days later Bojan it’s time for him to show that side of himself to Damon. Kris is with them, just to reassure both human and vampire.  
Damon's obviously still scared, Bojan can smell it. But he doesn't run away when Bojan changes his appearance in front of him, sharp claws and fangs, eyes of the purest and the most intense red ever seen.  
Damon admires this version of Bojan, stunned by his beauty. He looks Bojan in the eyes, and gets close, and takes those photos. Beautiful photos that capture not just the 'monster' inside him, but also the fear, the uncertainty, the angst Bojan is consumed by. How he doesn't want to be the monster. His red eyes on display and a look of sheer terror on his face...which is quite a photo, because predators don't usually look terrified. That's reserved for preys.  
Kris observes silently and not so far away from them. He’s worried more for Bojan than for Damon. He knows how much this photoshoot is testing Bojan’s self-control on his vampiric side and memories. 
And that’s why after the shooting Bojan needs time to decompress, to relax and make his human side come back to the surface. Kris, who was there the whole time, helps him, with tender words whispered to reassure him, caresses and kisses. 
Damon observes them, silently. Bojan is a predator, he could kill both of them and they could do nothing about it because he's faster, stronger, he’s built to hunt and murder his preys, to feed on them, just like a lion or a tiger. Now he’s so vulnerable, so human. 
But that scene is so intimate, so caring, Damon almost feels he's third wheeling. Kris trusts Bojan with his life because he’s keeping the vampire’s mouth so close to his neck, he’s letting him inhale his familiar scent while running a hand though his soft hair. 
Damon decides to ask another question, because in the end he's curious to know about Bojan and his kind. He saw vampires portrayed on the screen, many variants, but he's different. He's a real vampire. 
"May I ask one thing? You don't need to answer, if you don't want to." 
Bojan looks at him, fangs no more visible but eyes still a little bit red-ish.  
"Yeah, sure." 
"What's the most intimate act your kind can perform with a human? Like, how can a human show to a vampire that they fully trust them?" 
"Feeding," Bojan answers after a short silence. "Feeding directly from the neck or the wrist or any other body part. Giving freely the permission to take something as vital and as important as your blood." 
"So do you...feed on your friends?"  
Damon's starting to put two and two together. The way Jan had wanted a turtleneck on during his photoshoot. The way Jure had put his photoshoot off for days claiming to be "sick." Were they covering for the bite marks, then?  
Bojan gets a slightly panicked look on his face, and it's Kris who answers.  
"Yes. With our consent," he reaches for Bojan's hand, squeezes it. "We trust him, and we know he'd never hurt us."
Bojan gives him a shy smile, thanking him for baking him up.  
And Damon thinks about that. How intimate they all are with each other. How clearly trusting the other boys are around him. He's been around them all, seen how they cuddle, how close they get to him, how none of them is scared. Remembers Bojan resting his head on their shoulders, or face-planting into their chest, realizing he must have been smelling them, hearing the blood pulse beneath their skin. And they hadn't skipped a beat, hadn't been scared for a single second. He's never seen them too-pale, ashen-faced, too drained of blood and energy to function. Clearly Bojan is careful, never takes too much, and they trust him.  
And he realizes he trusts him too.  
"Would you like to feed on me?" He asks.  
Bojan is obviously hesitant, his entire body stiffened, but Damon immediately adds "it's how a human shows trust, right? Letting you feed. I'd like to do that."  
"I - " Bojan is hesitant because he wants. He wants so much. He hadn't been lying, Damon smells so good. He's so drawn to him. He's thought more than once about that beautiful pale neck, about sinking his teeth into it. He’s salivating, savouring Damon’s taste just by smelling him from afar. 
"Kris should be there," he says finally. "Just in case. He knows what to do if I - if I lose control."  
"Are you likely to lose control?" Damon asks.  
"No," Kris says before Bojan can even open his mouth. "He's never lost control, not since I've known him."  
He can hear Damon's heart beating, so, so fast. He's nervous. But that heartbeat also calls to him, all that blood beneath the pale skin. He wants. He wants so much. He craves it. 
Bojan can feel his eyes changing colour and his fangs becoming sharper. He's struggling to control himself, but he manages to not jump on him right away. Damon’s sweater on him isn’t helping much his self-control. He focuses on Kris heartbeat, slower and more familiar, to keep him grounded. 
"It's better if you sit down on the couch. The first time can be overwhelming for both," he suggests.  
So Damon and he take place on the couch, Kris follows them, sitting behind Damon. He holds him, a comforting, warm, human touch.
"Do you want to know what you'll feel?" Bojan asks, looking the photographer in the eyes. 
One side of Damon wants to know it, so he can at least be prepared, but the other one doesn't. No, he wants to dive into those feelings, experience them without any anticipation. He then shakes his head.
"Where do you want to bite?" he asks then. 
Bojan's eyes, now as red as blood, lower and stop on his neck, so pale and so alluring. He feels like a moth attracted by the light of a lantern in the middle of a night without moon, so captivating but so dangerous at the same time.  
Kris notices Bojan’s look, where it’s laying, so he puts his hand in Damon's hair, tilting his head back for Bojan, an offering. His gesture is forceful but gentle at the same time. 
Bojan leans forward, closes his eyes and kisses Damon’s neck before sinking his fangs in his skin and then deep in his flesh. When the first drops of blood touch his tongue, he moans intensively. Damon's blood is so delicious, much more than what he expected. 
Without even realising Bojan straddles Damon's laps and pushes him until he's completely laying on Kris, the vampire on top of him. It feels like ecstasy. Bojan is so used to feeding on his friends that he forgot the pleasure of unknown blood running down his throat. The bond creating between the vampire and the human. The pure sense of trust of letting a creature like him taking away something so important. Damon's blood is singing to him and he could write both melody and lyrics based on what he's feeling in that moment.  
He’s too lost in it. He's drinking and drinking and it's addicting. Until Damon starts getting dizzy, eyes feeling closed, and it's Kris who warns him. 
"Bojči." Then, more firmly. "Bojan."  
And Bojan pulls away reluctantly, dazed, eyes a little glassy, panting with his mouth open and dirty with blood, that's also running down from his lips, dripping on Damon’s white t-shirt. 
"Fuck," he breathes. "Damon."  
Damon, half-dazed himself, looks up at Bojan, and he sees the fangs and the red eyes but all he can think is how beautiful Bojan looks. His perfect profile, those beautiful features, like something out of a novel, and the blood and the shadows just heighten it. He reaches a weak hand up, traces his cheek, murmurs a feeble "you're beautiful."  
Bojan leans forward then, licking the last drops from the wound, licking it closed, but then staying there, breathing in Damon's scent, placing a kiss where the wound had been. And when he moves away, so that he can look at Damon again, Damon's hand has found its way into his hair.  
And he doesn't know who moves first, but suddenly they're kissing. They're kissing and Damon is moaning and Kris is there, holding Damon, his hands find their way under Damon's t-shirt, tweaking a nipple, which makes Damon gasp into Bojan's mouth. 
Bojan breaks the kiss so reluctantly, resting his forehead against Damon's, murmuring "fuck" a second time. He wants, he wants everything.  
Vampires can give different types of bites. The ones given when the vampire wants only to feed are violent and brutal, but the ones given when a human offers his blood and shows his trust...well, those ones are truly intense and can cause great pleasure, both in the vampire and the human. 
Bojan notoriously has great self-control, but Damon is really testing his limits. He is scared but at the same time he wants to give in to his instincts, to the taste of pleasure he got from possessing Damon in that way. He wants to possess him totally, in every aspect. 
"Kris, I want more," he reverts to Slovenian, his mind is clouded and thinking in English is really hard. His voice sounds more like a growl. He raises his head to look Kris in the eyes. 
And Kris recognises the longing in Bojan's red eyes, the desire, the craving. He experienced on his own skin and body the frenzy that blood can cause on a vampire and on the human they feed on. 
Damon in the meantime starts kissing Bojan's neck. He wants him too, that bite made him feel all sorts of things, from deep pain to intense pleasure. He expected it to hurt, not to be aroused by it. 
Kris wants them too. Maybe it's a sick kink but observing Bojan feeding and moaning because of the blood always awakes something in him.  
Kris then kisses Bojan, his lips still dirty with blood, basically giving him the permission to continue what he was doing with Damon. 
Bojan grabs Damon’s face with a hand, gently diverting it from his neck, so he can kiss him on the lips deeply. His fangs touch slightly Damon’s lips, making him shudder intensively.  
They undress him, soon after their clothes end up on the floor too. Bojan kisses Damon all over his body, tasting his excitement and making him whimper. In those brief moments of clarity, Damon can see that Bojan and Kris are used to do this together, so he completely hands over the control to them. 
Oh, the sex with a vampire is even better than drugs. Bojan knows perfectly where and how to touch Damon to make him whimper and moan. He bites him in specific points on his body, liking the wounds right after to not make him bleed out.  
Kris joins barely, just to kiss Damon sometimes or to make Bojan tone down what he’s doing, to not make him completely give in to his instincts and do something he will regret.  
They all reach their climax at the same time, Kris almost untouched, the view of Bojan carnally possessing Damon was enough for him. They all collapse on the couch, panting and shaking because of the pleasure they just experienced. Damon’s body is covered in bitemarks. Bojan is on top of them, his head is on Damon’s chest, eyes closed. 
Kris starts running a hand through Bojan’s hair and plays with some of his strands. That simple gesture can make him calm down and relax after some intense emotions. Damon imitates Kris, still a bit hesitant. And Bojan begins purring, just like a cat. 
“Is-is he purring?” Damon asks, surprised. 
“Yes,” Kris giggles. “He loves when you touch his hair.” 
They keep cuddling Bojan as he slowly gets back from the high of the intercourse.  
“It was a photographer who turned me,” he suddenly talks. He decided to explain to Damon why he reacted in that way during their first photoshoot. “She approached me when I was barely 20. She bewitched me, oh-she was stunning, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” 
“A photographer?” Damon asks. 
“Yes,” Bojan raises his head to look him in the eyes. He grabs one of his hands and intertwines their fingers. “She thought that I was the perfect muse for her work. She kept taking pictures of me for a couple of years, she fed on me, then turned me against my will, just because she wanted that my beauty lasted forever. Even turned I was helpless, I couldn’t escape, she had full control over me.”  
Damon gently caresses Bojan’s cheek, trying to comfort him. He can see the distress he’s feeling while telling him about his past. 
“You don’t have to tell me-” 
“I want to,” he interrupts him. “You trusted me, you showed it to me, and this is me showing you I trust you. The only people that know my story are my bandmates.” 
Damon nods slowly in response. Bojan is showing his other vulnerable side, the moment he lost his humanity to become a demon of the night, a monster that feeds on people to survive. Bojan then keeps telling him his story: how important he felt when he was with her, how he liked her attentions, how she basically tricked him into letting her feed on him and then turn him into this monster, how she dragged Kris into the picture and how they eventually escaped from her. 
"I killed her."
“You...killed her?” 
Bojan nods. “She was seriously threatening Kris. He is part of my nest, and no one can hurt him. So I snapped, she couldn’t control me anymore and I killed her. I don’t regret what I did, she deserved it.” 
Silence falls once again among them. Damon is clearly trying to process that piece of information. 
“Vampires are protective of their nest. They are social creatures, just like us humans, and they will do everything to protect the people they care about,” Kris explains.
“Am...am I part of this nest, now?” 
Bojan nods. “Yes. I know that we can't be always together, but I’ll make sure no one touches you,” he kisses Damon on the lips. “You accepted me for who and what I am. You are important to me.” 
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mitochondriencocktail · 3 months
Note
For the kiss prompt … 11 & 12? 🥺
doing these in reverse because i want them to be happy HAHA Decided to randomly pull from the unwritten nerd!bojan x hockey player!jere college au that's just chilling in pieces on my drive i hope that's ok ;o;
12... in grief
Bojan's heart falls to the floor as the words tumble out of his mouth.
I think we should break up.
Katrina, too patient, too understanding, too kind, had given Bojan a teary-eyed smile when he told her. She isn't stupid, she'd seen the growing distance between them. The way he and Jere had become inexplicably closer over the last several months.
Kat knocks their foreheads together, the dorm bed creaking with age.
“Fuck you, Bojan Cvjetićanin.”
“Well, probably not anymore.”
She lets out a sob of a laugh and Bojan opens his arms, letting Kat rest her weight on him. A familiar comfort to them both. 
After a moment of silence: “Is it him?”
Bojan stiffens.
“Yeah.”
“I can’t believe I lost you to a hockey player,” she snorts through her tears.
“You didn’t lose me,” he says. “Just… recalibrating our relationship.”
“Okay, Mr. Sociology degree.”
“I still love you. Just... in a way that might be a bit different than we were both expecting.”
A sigh. Kat rolls over so she can stare at the ceiling again.
“I love you, too.”
After Kat leaves, the weight of it all sinks in. The grief of heartbreak tears through him.
Bojan opens his phone.
Bojan: you free?
Jere: what’s up jokerman Jere: yes always for you ♥️😉 Jere: Bojan?
Bojan: Kat and i broke up
Jere: oh Jere: shit Jere: I am sorry 😟 Jere: you want me come over? Bojan: no i’m ok Bojan: i mean i’m not ok but i’m ok Bojan: just wanted someone to talk with Bojan: if you’re ok just texting? Jere: bojan keep me company while i finish homework 🥰
Bojan: haha what’re you working on?
Jere: [img_3452] Jere: medieval art paper 😔 Jere: idk why they make me take class
Bojan: LOL
Jere: not funny!! I suffering Jere: fuck off bojan Jere: sori Jere: i take it back
Bojan: no it’s ok it was funny
Jere: bojan think i’m funny 🥰🥰🥰 Jere: big mistake Jere: can i come over?
He hesitates, but manages to remain firm. Not tonight. His heart is still raw.
Bojan: i think i just need the room to myself Bojan: but tomorrow for sure let’s hang out
Jere: okei Jere: tomorrow yes promise ❤️😘
Bojan: Promise ❤️
11... in joy
The trek back isn’t long but the silence stretches between them, random chatter about the project, a few comments about the party. No mention of girls or dates or hurt feelings. When they get to Bojan’s apartment, Jere lingers, so Bojan beckons him in. 
“You should drink some water after that keg stand.” 
Jere beams as he’s handed a glass while seated on the couch. “You see me do it?” 
“You were the only thing anybody could stare at while it was happening.” 
A flush creeps across Jere’s face. He hides his smile in a sip of water, face obscured by the cup, but the crinkles around his eyes that stay trained on Bojan say otherwise. 
“Do…” Bojan flounders. He has the advantage of self-awareness in the situation, but he’s turning over every possible outcome. Analyzing. Assessing. 
Or, as Jere’s about to put it— “Bojan look like he need to shit.” 
“Oh fuck off,” Bojan says, cushioning it with a laugh as he catches the slight wince in Jere’s expression. 
He wipes a hand down his face, reaches for his book on the coffee table, and plops bodily down onto the couch, swinging his legs up and into Jere’s lap. 
“Do…?” Jere prods him. 
“I was going to ask if you wanted to stay, but,” Bojan motions to where his legs are occupying Jere’s lap, “I’ve decided you have no choice in the matter now.” 
Jere stares at Bojan. 
He looks up at him, still dejected, and sees it: this hasn’t clicked for Jere yet.
Jere rubs a hand along Bojan’s shin and breaks the eye contact with a giggle. He leans his head back on the couch and smiles. They sit in comfortable silence as Bojan thumbs through his book, letting the words on the page wash him away. 
“You going to go on new dates now?”
Bojan sets the book down. Stifles a sigh. Resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. He’s going to really do this, isn’t he? 
“Well, I actually have a study date with some weird guy from the hockey team."
Jere’s hand that had been, up until then, rubbing up and down Bojan’s shin goes still. With a comically suspicious look, he regards Bojan; eyes narrowed, an open look of concentration. 
“Is… it’s me? Are you talking about me?” 
Jere does not make this easy. 
“Yeah,” Bojan nods. “I-“ Words catch in his throat. “I think we should try to make some headway on our project.” 
“Oh,” Jere nods, simple as that. “Okei.”
C’mon, please, figure it out, Bojan thinks.
He beams at Bojan, entirely unselfconscious, unaware. 
“Maybe we get lunch before? I have practice in morning.” And just like that, he’s switched gears. Bouncing and thrumming. 
“Sure,” Bojan nods, opening his book up again, but he can’t focus on a single word. Not when his heart is racing like this. “Yeah, we can do lunch.” 
“Maybe dinner too?” his voice is hesitant but inquiring, the sound of gears grinding evident in his head.
“Yeah, Jere, we can do dinner together too.” Bojan thinks he might be going insane and it’s all thanks to one Finnish exchange student.
"That make me so happy," Jere cheeses suddenly, a dreamy expression on his face, the faintest flush of alcohol on his cheeks. Bojan watches as Jere works through the final stretch of this puzzle in real time. He stares at Bojan with those unwavering, attentive eyes, surfacing suddenly from underneath the murk of his emotions. He flits between shock and confusion and amusement in a span of seconds, ending up with an expression that looks like he's been sucker punched right between the sternum.
"Oh," Jere breathes out.
Joy simmers between them.
The book falls to the floor. Bojan's drawing in his legs from Jere's lap. Clambering forward on all fours across the couch.
He leans in and kisses Jere.
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fcgoretzka · 11 months
Text
Za roko te držim | Bojan Cvjetićanin
Pairing : Bojan Cvjetićanin x y/n (she/her)
Author's note : Well yeah, this is my very first Bojan fanfic, it came out shorter than what I anticipated but yeah, a first is a first. Hopefully I'll have the time and inspiration to write many many more 🦋 Infinite thanks to @rottingsun for giving me this idea and saving me (also saving you from another sad angst if you remember me from the old il volo imagines days).
Warnings: Sexual tension, slight foul language (I think?). No proofread cause we die like men.
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With the way the music was blasting through the nightclub, the strobing lights electrifying the atmosphere and the excessive alcohol making everyone a little too flirty, Bojan decided to put down his gin tonic and take y/n 's hand, motioning her the way to the dance floor. She could never resist him, especially now, with the way the black fabric was hugging his body and his arms that were oh-so-protective of her were in clear sight after tearing the sleeves of his silk shirt. His hands quickly found their way to her lower back, bringing her as closer to him as he could, while she played with Bojan's hair with the tips of her fingers. Her eyes never leaving his, they were entagled into this sexual tension, but none of them wanting the night to end. The dj was playing the perfect songs, the bartender served the perfect drinks and the outcome of the night could wait until the first morning hours. Bojan kept averting his gaze between her eyes and lips, teasing his girlfriend whose lust could be spotted miles away. He moved his lips closer to hers, barely touching her, their breaths entagled. She decided to give in, hungrily tasting the sweet and bitter lips of his. Bojan never turned down the opportunity to kiss her, their lips moving in sync and their hands exploring each other's bodies.
"You know how much you have turned me on right now?" Bojan whispered into her ear, sending shivers down her spine. "I don't think we should leave yet, one drink is too little, and the way those lights glow on your face, I want to look at that a bit longer" she replied and Bojan gave her a smile, a type of smile that he keeps only for her. A smile full of adoration. "Can I buy you another drink then?" he said, trying to hide the small smirk that was forming on his lips. She nodded smiling and led him back to the bar, only to see that one of the the two stools that they were sitting was occupied by a pretty blonde woman who was overly excited to talk to the bartender, so Bojan motioned y/n to sit on the empty seat, his hand never leaving hers. "A Strawberry Daquiri baby?" he asked her and she gave him a bright smile.
She never knew two strawberry daquiris could make her so tipsy, but she was giggling like a high schooler every time Bojan told her she was pretty. So he took this as the perfect opportunity to tell her that standing for so long made his feet hurt and the only solution he could think of is sitting on her lap. Her eyes immediately sobered up and whispered "You fucking tease, you know having you this close turns me on" she said completely serious, as Bojan made himself comfortable on her lap. She leaned on his back, the intoxicating smell of his shampoo, his perfume, his aftershave among with the bitterness of the cocktails he chose making her dizzy. "You love holding me closer" he said as she simply nodded, sinking deeper into his silk shirt, holding him tighter and tighter. Bojan sensed that the sexual tension wasn't so palpable anymore and turned his head back, trying to get a better view of her face. "Hey, hey ljubezen, what's wrong?" he said as y/n looked at him dead in the eye and said "Having you on my lap reminded me of how lucky I am to have you Bojan".
Hearing his name only meant two things. Either they were making love, or she was dead serious about what she was saying. He gave her a sweet smile and gave her a soothing kiss on the top of her head. "I am also super lucky to have you in my life y/n. And I am even luckier to know that I have you in my life for good." she told her, the strobing lights lighting up his face not causing her knees to turn weak anymore, but giving her a sense of protection, of security, of warmth. There was no sexual tension, no teasing whatsoever. Just pure love. Pure, plain love.
"But that doesn't mean that the night won't end the way we imagined at the beginning ljubezen"
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signoraviolettavalery · 4 months
Text
Another snippet from another bokris fic
[Jere is in Thailand vacationing and posting all those stupid videos, which Kris has watched and laughed at in Bojan's presence, also Kris thinks Bojere are dating]
"Yeah, his poor girlfriend, having to film all those," Bojan snorts, and Kris' brain short-circuits.
"He has a girlfriend?"
Bojan looks up at him, amused. "Yeah?"
And Kris knows it probably isn't his business, if Bojan hasn't told him it's for a reason, but his brain is too busy short-circuiting, and all that comes out of his mouth is "are you guys like, polyamorous?"
This time, when Bojan looks up at him, it's clear he needs a second to figure out what Kris is talking about, but then his face clears with understanding.
"Oh my god, Kris, he and I aren't together."
"You're not?"
Bojan is looking at him weird now. "No, we were just playing all that up for the cameras and the fans. I thought you knew." He gives a small, sad smile. "Nah, I'm still your perpetually single friend."
And Kris doesn't get why. Not with how brightly Bojan shines, how outgoing and charismatic and goodlooking he is.
"Yeah, I don't understand that," he says. "You could have anyone."
"Not anyone," Bojan says, and Kris' breath catches.
"So there is someone?" he asks He probably shouldn't ask, save himself from the knowledge that Bojan likes - maybe even loves - someone else. But all he finds himself thinking at this moment is: how could anyone not want Bojan? How could you not want the sun?
"Kris, don't..."
Right. If Bojan hasn't told him about it, it's probably because he doesn't want to talk about it. Though it does hurt that Bojan doesn't trust him with this, seemingly, when they trust each other with everything. But on the other hand, perhaps it's better that he doesn't hear any details about this inevitably perfect person who has managed to capture Bojan's heart.
"Right. Sorry," he agrees. "So everything with Kaarija was really....fanservice?"
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sparkles-oflight · 3 months
Text
Ginger shots - Lazy day
I went back between posting this or not... It's really just an excuse to write fluff. I'm kinda embarrassed about it.
Synopsis: After recording the new album, the boys finally get some days of rest. Bojan and Kris get sick however and we get to see a little bit of them sweet to each other.
Disclaimer: Please think of these as characters and not the actual people. I don’t encourage anyone to send this to any of the actual JO members nor do I encourage people to force any type of relationship between anyone.
Thanks @anxious-witch for the proof-reading and still tolerating me after today haha.
After their first tour of the year, Bojan and Kris had finally returned home- to their house. They were now ready to rest for a couple of days, however, these boys couldn’t get any rest due to their weak immunity systems...
- "Ginger shots, vitamins, shower cold, feeling old" - Bojan sang - "Just do everything the way you are told".
- Yeah yeah, I get it. - Kris complained as he arrived in the living room.
He sat on the sofa next to Bojan who stretched his arms like a happy child reaching for a toy, or, in this case, a cup Kris brought him.
- Thanks, Mom.
- How come you are always sick, uh?
- You are sick too! - Bojan drank as fast as he could and then patted Kris' shoulder - You are the best roommate one could ask for.
- Oh yeah? - Kris raised an eyebrow.
- Definitely. One of my best friends.
- Uh...so. - he chuckled - You'll call me anything but "Boyfriend", uh?
- Aw, is that what you want me to call you? - Bojan teased him with a small giggle.
- No no no, don't call me that if you don't want to. - he crossed his arms as a tint of pink appeared on his cheeks.
- Krisko, are we jealous?
- Why would I be jealous? - Kris smiled and stopped looking at Bojan.
- Well, that's good, you are my comrade for life - Bojan got closer.
Kris smirked and suddenly pulled Bojan closer into his chest, covering his head with his arms and bringing his body on top of his.
- Say it. - Kris threatened.
- Or what?
Kris kissed his hair.
- I'll have to use my ultimate weapon. - and he kissed him again.
- I think I like this punishment honestly.
- Well, but if we aren't boyfriends, then you'll only get these kisses.
Bojan freed his head and looked at Kris' eyes.
- No kisses here? - Bojan begged for a kiss, pouting his lips.
- No, you are only my friend.
- Okay...fine. - he smiled and tucked Kris's hair behind his ears - You are the cheesiest boyfriend in the whole world! - he announced proudly.
Kris kissed his neck and pushed Bojan softly onto the sofa. He admired the sight of Bojan's hair spread across the orange sofa and with the orange lights coming from the lamps illuminating his face, making his eyes and smile stand out.
Bojan looked up, put his hand on Kris' face, and caressed it before going back to touching his hair.
- It’s greasy.
- I know.
Bojan touched his chin and scratched his hand on Kris' small facial hair.
- It’s blonde.
- I know.
- Just kiss me already.
Kris got closer to Bojan's face...slowly. Very slowly, as if mocking him. When his hair was touching the older’s face, he smiled and whispered in his ear.
- Who said you could order me around, Bojči? 
His question was followed up by a soft bite on Bojan's earlobe and Bojan could only grin from having Kris' breath on his ear and then Kris' nose smelling his hair and neck.
- Has anyone ever told you- Kris was interrupted by Bojan.
- How good I smell? Yeah, I know.
- I was going to say that you need to take a shower actually.
- Not until you finish what you want to do.
Bojan's hands reached for Kris' hips inside of his shirt...he loved how his soft skin felt against his hands. It was...an indescribable sensation.
When Kris finally decided to proceed, he covered his mouth with his arm and started coughing.
- Or maybe not today. - Bojan joked and Kris sneezed.
- Can you get me a tissue?
- Of course.
Bojan reach for the tissue on the coffee table and gave it to him.
- Honestly, I was expecting you to blow me, not your nose. - Bojan switched to English just for this awful pun.
- Sorry for "blowing it" then.
- I don't know... My friend, Kris Guštin, made me believe I would be rewarded today. On my sick day! I call this false advertising.
He kissed Bojan's lips and grabbed him by his hair before pulling away.
- Your boyfriend, Kris Guštin, you mean.
- You took the bait!
- You think I don't know that? - he smiled - But you need to take a shower. It would be good for you and your sweaty hair.
- Oh, come on, you like it when I am sweaty. - Bojan winked.
- You're disgusting.
- You know I'm very sick and frail so I would like to invite you to take a shower with me. That way I'm not lonely, numero uno. - He started counting with his fingers - And dos, I am not in danger of falling off the bathtub or something.
- And tres? What's in it for me?
- You get to scrub my back.
- You had me at "shower". - Kris extended his hand to help Bojan back up.
Bojan took it and took the chance to steal a peck from Kris' lips.
- Let's go then? - he asked.
Kris shook his head and they both went to their room to get new pajamas, or, in Bojan's case, to steal clothes from his boyfriend. He's allowed to steal them except for a select few like the ones with holes and the white long shirt his mom gifted him for Christmas. To be fair, those would look like a dress on Bojan.
They ordered pizza and then they took a shower together. A moment full of kisses and hugs and comforting each other after all the moments of chaos they had this year. They just needed a moment of peace...
- So... Austin Powers? - Bojan asked as he and Kris hugged each other underneath the blanket.
- Oh, definitely. - Kris said as he ate the last slice of pizza.
♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩
Afternote: I started writing this after my panic attack yesterday, how could you tell?
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MASTER POST | Recommended next: Are you Real?
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me-sploh-rada-imas · 2 months
Text
joker out in oslo 17/03 gig report time! this is long so under a read more. have some footage from my terrible phone and not very good angle :)
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while waiting in the queue we were right next to the door and they all came past us to get in. vita, damon, and a woman i assume is sadie sink (with a big suitcase) got locked out and waited for ages and were joined by nace, bojan, and jure. jan came on his own a few minutes later and was also locked out.
regnvær and hearts were really good! at one point, the lead singer of regnvær started playing a song in the wrong key on his guitar and took three tries to get it right. the lead singer of hearts kept saying "yoker out" in a strong swedish accent. they both knocked over mic stands as well it was very chaotic
the security guard was VIBING to the dj between acts it was so funny! he sang along to barbie girl what an icon
now the actual show:
my first thoughts as they came on stage: holy fuck jan is beautiful. NACE GLASSES! bojan's outfit?!?!?!
the stage was too small for the cool props and i couldn't see jure most of the time sadly
bojan did a whole speech about how he'd learnt how to say hello/good day in norwegian (god dag) and joked about it sounding like good dog, and he patted nace while saying it
at one point, nace was at the front of stage and jan came up behind him and pretended to try to push him off and they had a little mock fight while playing it was adorable!! yeah they janced a lot... every time they looked at each other they couldn't stop grinning or making faces at each other
lots of really good krisjan and krisnace moments tonight as well! kris sidled up to nace in ona and jan got in the way again but this time to play with kris. other than this i didn't really see much of kris though
someone get bojan some glasses because every time he tried to read a sign in the crowd he squinted so hard
before vkv someone had a sign that said they'd ask out their crush if they played padam and bojan said he would as kiki gave him his guitar. then they were like 'oh i've asked them out now' and bojan joked about not needing to play padam anymore. and he played the chorus but doesn't actually know it so got some of the chords wrong and it was awesome and very funny! then he dedicated vkv to them and said 'i hope your date goes better than that'.
in behind those eyes, jan and nace did a super slow version of their mating dance circling each other. i had wanted bluza but you can tell they really love playing behind those eyes so i still really enjoyed it
bojan dedicated omamljeno telo to a friend from primary school who'd flown from slovenia and had been a fan before joker out actually formed!
nace's glasses flew off in the middle of omamljeno telo right before jan's solo and bojan put them back on for him agdjafhkl
bojan couldn't keep his hands off nace in plastika as usual
bojan did the kakaka in carpe diem like he used to! but jure didn't come out at the end of it and they didn't do the hearts! it was very sad
it was someone's birthday and bojan sang a cute improvised happy birthday to them during umazane misli
literally the whole first half of umazane misli was jan and nace messing around - jan put a tiny fake hand on one of his guitar's tuning pegs and nace high fived it twice. he was turning in to nace to show him the hand and nace turned his bass upright and started playing it like that?
nace and jan just. lay down. in the um karaoke??? and started playing from the floor? NACE FLOWER CROWN! when he sat up and i could see him again i nearly had a heart attack istg.
the tiny fake hands made another appearance while bojan was introducing novi val and jure, nace, and jan all took turns stroking each other's faces with them it was so funny! nace stroked kris with one at one point. jan and nace did a high five with them too!
no pijano tonight sadly. but holy shit jan looks ethereal playing guitar i totally get why nace looks at him all the time lmao
anyway it was awesome and i had an amazing time!!
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madrabit · 3 months
Note
Hey :3 can I request 8 + BoJance? 🫶
Hey, ofc you can request that! Sorry it got a little out of hand and turned into a slightly angsty 3,3k thing, but I guess that's short for me 🤠 (I am making no promises for the other prompts being as long, since this was actually sth I wanted to write for a bit now) I do hope you like it tho!
Here you can find the prompt list! Feel free to send me sth. And now, enjoy! 🩷
Send me a number and a Ship and I'll write you a kiss!
8. ... in secrecy.
"You really don‘t want to come with us?"
Bojan looked up from his phone as Jan stepped in front of him, wearing his leather jacket and a beanie, ready to go out. In the little hallway, he could see Nace put on his winter coat.
"Yeah, I'll stay here", he said, pulling up his legs onto the couch, wrapping his arms around them, one finger idly tracing along the fresh tattoo on his calf, careful to not touch the still tender skin. Jan just stared at him for a second, dark eyes following the movement of Bojan's hand. His face was blank, normally plush lips pressed into a thin line and Bojan almost started to squirm under his gaze, feeling like one of those butterflies pinned to a board. Usually he loved Jan looking at him, basked in the attention the other was giving him, but right now it felt like the guitarist was trying make him cave and give in. And Bojan would love to, he really would, but he just couldn't.
"I really think-", Jan started, his tone flat, but before he could go on, Nace popped up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"And I think we shouldn't talk about this right now, Jan", Nace said calmly, squeezing Jan's shoulder, before he threw Bojan a soft smile.
"This is a stupid idea", Jan grumbled, a frown settling onto his face, but then his posture relaxed and he sighed, shaking his head slightly. He mumbled something else, something Bojan couldn't understand, which probably was for the better, before he turned his head to look at Nace, who just gave him the same warm smile, he had given Bojan earlier.
"We'll have to go now, we told Damon we will be there by six", Nace said, taking his hand from Jan and searching in the pocket of his coat for his phone, "Jan wanted to take a quick stop in Chinatown on our way home, do you want us to get you some takeaway?"
Bojan pulled his legs closer, shifting under Jan's still lingering gaze until the dark haired guitarist groaned and made his way out of the living room, two pairs of brown eyes following him.
"I'm sorry", Bojan said, voice small and unsure, but he knew Jan wouldn't hear it as the front door fell closed.
"We'll talk about this some other time, it's okay, don't worry Bojči", Nace sighed, ruffling the singer's hair gently before he, too, turned and followed after Jan, the sound of the door shutting the only thing echoing through the otherwise empty house right now.
The interaction left a bad feeling in him. Jan was angry, he knew that. And he had all the right to be, they had planned this all together, but Bojan had pulled back just last night, nerves getting to him. He had ended up tossing and turning, tiptoeing back to his own room in the middle of the night to not bother Jan and Nace too much and let them get the rest that they needed after a long day at the studio.
Bojan had thought it would be easier after moving to London. That he would finally be able to let go of social expectations, get out of the suffocating hold it had on him, break out of this typical teenage heartthrob corset that was constricting and didn't allow for him to breathe or make mistakes. Or live a life that was just a little bit out of the norm.
And in a certain way it did, not only thanks to finally being able to spend all of his free time with the people he loved most, but also their new environment, not having to hide himself away from the world.
It had made him relax, and in turn, it made his friends relax too. They didn't have to only deal with their own issues, but also Bojan's, especially Jan and Nace, who for some reason weren't only his friends but also more. Not that anybody except for Jure and Kris knew.
He sighed, reaching for his phone and tapped into his notes app, looking through the current lyrics he was writing, but knowing he wouldn't be able to write anything. So instead, he just resorted to scrolling through social media, looking at fanart and other things to take his mind off everything.
It didn't take too long until Kris and Jure came back, carrying bags of groceries through the door and immediately, Bojan jumped up to help them.
"Weren't you supposed to be having a shoot right now? Why aren't you with the others?", Kris asked once Bojan had taken a bag from him, making his way through the hallway and living room into the kitchen.
"I...", the singer started, but didn't know how to go on, so he stopped, staying quiet as Kris set the bag he still had been carrying down on the counter, turning to Jure to help him, but not before throwing Bojan a sceptical look.
"You're stupid, you know that, right?", Kris sighed, shaking his head as he started to sort through the groceries as Bojan set the last bag down.
"I know, you don't need to rub it in, Krisko."
"No, I don't think you do, but we love you anyway, so we deal with your dumbass", the younger said, putting a can of tomatoes into a cupboard, as Jure as snooping through the fridge for something to snack.
"Ow", Bojan mumbled, looking at the floor. His eyes fixed on the tiles, following the swirly pattern, just so he wouldn't be confronted with Kris's disappointed stare. He knew he was being stupid, knew he should have just gone with his boyfriends, shouldn't have been afraid to do what they had planned for a while now, what exactly did he have to loose?
Nothing.
Everything.
It wasn't that he was ashamed of himself, or of his partners, he would never, never, be ashamed of the people he loved. But he just couldn't. Just the thought of putting his relationship out there, for everyone to see, for everyone to judge, was making Bojan freeze on the spot. It made him want to pull back, afraid of the comments and hate he certainly would get, that had always been coming when he did something people thought was wrong, no matter what it was. There was always someone getting angry, shouting at him and making him feel bad about being himself.
"It's my turn to cook today", Jure suddenly said, having been quiet before while he was raiding the fridge. Now he was bouncing on his feet, already looking through everything him and Kris had bought before. "I think we're gonna make pasta? Are you okay with that?"
Kris nodded, taking of his coat and handing it to Bojan with a smile and a "thank you" as the shorter man held out his arms to take both of their jackets, slowly slinking out of the kitchen as the other two started planning dinner.
They ate crouched around the little coffee table. Bojan was watching a random nature documentary Nace had started this morning and that Bojan had then been very interested in, while Jure and Kris were talking, the youngest having a noticeable blush on his face.
As Jure had thrown an arm around Kris's shoulder, Bojan had made his way to his room, giving the both of them some alone time that they actually would've had if he would have went with Jan and Nace like he was supposed to. And not long after, he fell asleep in the bed he had spent maybe one night in since they had moved here.
Their house was small, barely big enough for five grown adults, but it was more than enough if these men lived in each others pockets anyway. Three bedrooms, a nice bathroom for British standards and a garage for them to use as a makeshift jam session space if they didn't want to go to the studio they also had rented. Kris had instantly claimed the biggest bedroom for him and Jure, insisting that they needed it and the youngest had almost made a whole list of reasons, until Nace, Jan and Bojan had just shrugged and let them have it. The other double room was small, so Bojan had moved his things into the last, single bedroom. Not that he had been spending a lot of time in there anyway, using the room more as some sort of walk in closet than an actual bedroom.
He woke up in the middle of the night, wrapped up in a blanket and with his phone on the charger, while he knew he hadn't been under the covers and fell asleep with another documentary playing. Slightly confused, he looked around, taking in the dark room around him. It felt weird sleeping alone now, after being used to sharing a bed with his boyfriends. He loved being cuddled, slept better when he was close to his loved ones and was being held. But right now, he wasn't sure if he should make his way to their room, crawl into bed like a little kid scarred of the dark.
It was late already, they would be sleeping anyway and Bojan didn't plan on waking them up right now, not when he didn't even know when they got home.
He rolled over, reaching for his phone, scrolling through social media, sorting through all the notifications he had gotten until one caught his eye. His heart immediately started to race, fingers shaking as he tapped into Damon's newest story.
If his heart was beating a mile a minute before, it now had stopped, as well as his breath.
The photos were incredible. Jan and Nace looked incredible. They always did, Bojan knew that, probably better than anyone else. Seeing the both of them together on a normal day made him stop for a second, unable to do anything else but stare at them with an expression that was so ridiculously in love that Kris had started to make fun of it every time he noticed.
But this? This was killing him.
Damon was a master at his craft, making sure everything was perfect, Bojan had seen him at work himself, had had a long session with him that had felt more like therapy than anything else, just as Kris had said before. So it was no wonder he would take perfect pictures of them, would make them look like they are meant to be together. Like they belong to each other.
They were beautiful, looking at each other with so much love, affection and devotion, that it made his heart overflow with the same emotions. His breath hitched, and he could feel tears well up in his eyes, threatening to spill over.
His chest clenched harshly and he just couldn't help but look away from his screen for a second. The pictures were amazing, more than amazing, they were everything, but there was something lurking at the back of his mind. A little nagging thought he wanted to ignore, wanted to drown out with the love and warmth he felt inside him.
The photos left no doubt on how close Jan and Nace were, how well they fit together and no one could deny that it looked a lot like a coming out post. Which it technically was, they had talked about it, how it would seem, what they wanted to show. Had talked with Damon about how to do it. They hadn't planned to make a statement, would just show their true selves and let people decide for themselves.
They had put themselves put there, for everyone to judge, to form an opinion, and they had wanted him to be with them. Had wanted to show the world that the same love they held for each other also extended to him.
And Bojan had pulled away, had told his boyfriends, the ones he loved most in his life, that he couldn't do it. Couldn't show himself like that, was afraid of what people would think of him if he gave up that part of himself, let everyone see who he was, deep down and who he loved.
It was a ridiculous thought.
He should've went with them. No matter what anyone would've thought. No wonder Jan was angry, Bojan would be too if he felt like his own boyfriend wanted to deny him, if it felt like he was ashamed of him.
His chest clenched again, hard and he had to concentrate to keep his breath calm, his eyes still stinging and he wanted to blink away the tears, but instead of disappearing, they fell, running down his cheeks and into the pillow that was barely used. He was stupid, stupid to only think of himself, to push all of his baggage onto Jan and Nace, let them handle not only their own fears, but also Bojan's anxious thoughts.
He needed to talk to them, right now, needed to tell them both just how much he loved them and how he wasn't able to live without the two of them by his side. How he would wither and break if he didn't have their love and support. But not right now, not when they were sleeping and not when the chance of Jan still being angry at him was hanging in the air.
Finally, after having Damon's story open and staring at the pictures for what felt like an eternity, tears streaking his face and a sob ripping from his throat, he tapped out of it, ready to throw his phone to the side and cry himself to sleep if he had to, when he noticed the colorful rings around both Jan's and Nace's profile pictures. Sitting there, right next to each other, which they hadn't been before. They were awake, they had to be.
Without thinking about it, Bojan locked his phone, wrangling himself out of the sheets and slowly made his way to the door.
The way to Jan and Nace’s (and his own, if they were being honest here) room was short, barely a few steps and slowly he opened the door a bit, pressing himself through the little space and closed it again when he was finally inside.
Two pairs of dark eyes were staring at him. Nace and Jan were both tucked under the covers, looking soft and warm, ready to fall asleep. And Bojan's chest clenched again at the thought of what he could have if he just asked for it.
"I'm sorry..."
The words fell from him before he could stop them, just like the tears still flowing freely down his cheeks. Bojan sniffled, wiping his wet cheek and then fiddled with the hem of his shirt. He shifted his weight from one foot to another, feeling small and vulnerable, ready to just sink away into nothingness if he would be allowed to.
"I'm sorry I didn't come with you", he continued when the other two didn't say anything, taking a small step towards the bed, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said no."
Nace sat up, a sad expression on his face, probably mirroring Bojan's own pitiful and pathetic look and it made Bojan sob a little harder.
"I'm sorry for not being able to be honest", he pressed put, getting closer to the bed.
"For not being brave enough..."
Another step.
His eyes fixed on Jan. The guitarist's face was blank, features held in a carefully shielded expression. More tears ran down his cheeks.
"I didn't want this...", he said, his knees finally hitting the mattress, "I didn't want to make you feel like this..."
Jan looked up at him, still quiet, but there was a twitch in the corner of his mouth, a certain look in his eyes, that Bojan knew too well.
"I love you, both of you. So much. I didn't want to make you feel like I don't want you, don't need you, because I do. I need you so much that it scares me..."
He wiped his cheek again, taking a deep breath and before he could do anything else, Jan had leaned up, wrapped an arm around his waist and had pulled him down. Bojan toppled over, falling onto the bed and in Jan's waiting arms, couldn't tell sky from ground for a moment until he found himself laying between the two other men. Jan pulled him close, one hand cupping Bojan's cheek and wiping away tears.
"I don't want to have to hide you anymore", Jan says lowly, pressing their foreheads together. His face was serious, but warm, open and Bojan felt warmth spreading through him.
"You belong to us as much as we belong to you, as much as we belong to each other", the taller went on, letting his hand slip to Bojan's hair, tugging on it softly, "I don't want to keep this a secret, Bojan, I don't want to keep you a secret."
Behind him, the singer could feel Nace move, he felt an arm sneaking around him, settling on his waist, a hand slipping under his shirt to caress soft skin.
"I love you too much for that", Jan mumbled, petting his hair and rubbed their noses together.
Bojan nodded, his breath shaking even more and he felt like all his nerves were on edge.
"I don't want that either", he said, sneaking an arm around Jan’s neck, pulling him closer.
"I know you need time and that's okay", Jan said, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Bojan's mouth, gripping his hair a little tighter, grounding the smaller man, "I just hope you know we are there for you, always."
Instead of answering, Bojan leaned forward, connecting their lips in a gentle kiss. Jan made a soft noise, shifting closer and deepened the kiss a bit, parting his lips and letting his tongue trace over Bojan's, slipping inside as the shorter man pliantly opened his mouth with a little sigh.
A shiver ran through him, as he felt another pair of lips ghosting over his neck, first pressing chaste little kisses to his skin that soon turned into gentle bites, latching onto the little mole right under his jaw.
At another, harder bite, Bojan pulled back, panting as he turned his head to the side, catching Nace's dark eyes over his shoulder. A big hand came up, resting on his chin and turning him a bit more, pulling him into a kiss of their own.
"I love you", Bojan mumbled against the bassist's mouth, nibbling on the bottom lip as Nace started to grin. The older leaned more into the kiss, scooting closer, so Bojan had full body contact with both of his boyfriends. And the warmth made him shiver, goosebumps forming all over his body.
"I love you too", Nace chuckled before he leaned in even more, pulling Bojan into another kiss, albeit a shorter one. Then he leaned back, shifting even closer and rolling Bojan forward, so he was partially laying on Jan's chest, plastering himself to the smaller man's back, almost burying him under him, just how he knew Bojan liked it best.
With a content little sigh Bojan snuggled onto Jan's chest, feeling a hand in his hair, slowly lulling him to sleep, but before that, he lifted his head, a sleepy smile spreading over his face as he saw Nace press a little peck to Jan's lips, both looking beautiful, soft and warm and so full of love it almost made Bojan's heart burst.
Sleep caught him easily that night, no laying awake, waiting for the sun to rise, so they could go on, pretending nothing was going on, so people could continue to talk and hate them for being who they were.
No, this was all he needed, being held by the loves of his life, content and comfortable.
18 notes · View notes
anxious-witch · 8 months
Note
sorry I don't have enough imagination to come up with a prompt or something, but I'd love to see something with poly!JO :3 (maybe the guys taking care of Nace somehow idk)
Anon, sorry for the wait, this turned out much longer than I initially planned, but here it is. I hope you like it!
TW for vomitting and general sickness descriptions
Nace woke up with a blinding headache, which was never a good way to wake up. Even when all his boyfriends were still there to cuddle him. So he snoozed his alarm and decided he could skip his morning workout this once. It was unlikely he's be very productive with a headache anyway.
Bojan mumbled something in his dream and snuggled closer. Nace smiled and drifted off again.
Second time he woke up, it was by Kris' gently shaking.
"Nacko, wake up. You slept in, we gotta-"
But didn't hear the rest of his sentence, because he was hit by a sudden wave of nausea. He jumped out of the bed and ran towards the bathroom, leaving a bewildered Kris behind. 
He made it to the bathroom just in time to throw up in the toilet. It was disgusting and his head was spinning so bad, it was a miracle he managed to run to here in the first place.
"Fuck," he heard Kris curse from the doorway, "I'll go wake the others."
Nace tried to shake his head. It had to still be early if only Kris was awake. He could handle it.
"Let them sleep." he said, immediately winching at how hoarse his voice sounded.
"Don't be ridiculous. You are sick. They'd all want to help."
Kris left before Nace could protest again. Which was probably for the best, considering the fact that he managed to throw up again. He knew how easily Kris got grossed out over these things.
So he waited, willing for his stomach to calm down and stop cramping so bad. Or for his head to stop spinning.
He must have nodded off again, because he jolted when a cold hand gently touched his forehead.
"Shhh, it's just me Nacko. Relax."
Jan's voice was deeper than usual, likely due to him just waking up. But he wasn't usually cold. If anything among the five of them, it was Jan and Jure who always ran hot.
"You are burning up, love."
"Great."
Jan chuckled at his deadpan tone. He grabbed his phone and quickly typed something out.
"Alright, Bojan will go run to the pharmacy to get you something for the temperature. Let's get you cleaned up a bit, yeah? And put some more clothes on you. You are shivering."
Nace was too tired to protest. He doubted he could stand for long enough on his own to do it himself. And God knew Jan was too stubborn to fight, especially when he was worried as he was now.
So Nace let him help him brush his teeth and put on a shirt and sweatpants. It immediately made him feel a bit more human.
"Where are Kris and Jure?"
"Making breakfast, I believe. Kris is also googling which tea is best for a stomach bug. But I digress."
Nace tried not to laugh.
"So you just wanted to give Bojan a reason to not be in the kitchen with them?"
Jan shrugged, unapologetic.
"I prefer him not burning down the apartment while trying to help. Or Kris strangling him before he could. One crisis at the time."
This time, Nace did laugh. He leaned on the sink to not fall down as he doubled over while laughing.
"We both know Bojan wouldn't mind other option."
Then they were both laughing and for a moment Nace felt completely fine. And the the world started spinning again, and his legs became very unstable.
"Shit, shit, shit. Kris!"
Jan's arms were wrapped around him and he gently lowered him to the floor, instead of Nace plummeting as he would if he were alone.
"Can't I fucking leave for five minutes?!"
Then there wasn't one, but two pair of arms pulling him up. Black spots slowly stopped dancing in his vision and he looked up to a very worried faces of his boyfriends.
"This is karma for making fun of Bojan's choking kink, isn't it?"
Jan chuckled and Kris rolled his eyes. Still. Nace could see their relief.
"How about we get you back to bed? Which was the plan, that Jan seems to have forgotten," Kris said, shooting Jan a glare.
"He started making fun of Bojan. Would you have interrupted him?"
Kris pursed his lips and wordlessly offered for Nace to lean on him on his right side, while Jan took his left. Nace felt a bit ridiculous.
"I can probably make it to bed on my own, you know?"
"Right. Let's not risk that, yeah? Kris will kill me if you crack your head on the floor."
"He is absolutely right on that one."
Nace sighed, but leaned on them. They slowly made their way back to the bedroom and helped him climb on the bed. Kris retrieved a bucket, in case Nace got sick again before saying he'd go check on Jure's progress with breakfast.
Nace didn't have the heart to tell him that eating was probably the last thing he wanted to do right now. Jan snuggled next to him when Kris left.
The front doors opened with a loud bang that rattled Nace to the bone.
"I got socially acceptable drugs!" Bojan yelled from the hallway.
Jan sighed. Nace chuckled. There went a bit of peace they had. Bojan came strolling in the bedroom with a bag with...whatever pills he bought. Nace didn't really care as long as it would make him feel better.
Bojan dropped the bag on the bedside drawer and leaned over the bed to check Nace's forehead. He immediately winced in sympathy.
"Let me get you some water to take that pill."
He practically ran to get it, coming back in record time. He held out a pill and a glass of water for Nace to drink from and kissed his cheek when he did.
"Don't do that. You'll get sick too," Nace mumbled, trying not to blush.
"And Jan won't by cuddling you?"
Nace blinked. Right, That was true.
"You are right. Jan, you shouldn't be this close, either."
Jan only grumbled and snuggled closer. Nace had a feeling he was already half asleep again. It was way too early to be awake by his standards. He didn't think of a different solution before Kris and Jure arrived with breakfast and tea.
"Jure made some toast and hard boiled eggs. It says it's least likely to make you sick. And some mint tea, to take your medicine with."
Then Kris took in Bojan holding the packaging and glass of water. His eyes narrowed.
"Tell me you didn't just give him medicine on an empty stomach."
Bojan looked at him sheepishly.
"Um. May have. Done that."
Kris opened his mouth to retort, but Jure pushed past him. He put the plate on the bedside drawer before leaning in to kiss Nace's forehead.
"How are you Nace?"
Nace smiled, his gaze taking all four of them in. All awake-more or less-and helping in any way they could to make him feel better.
"I am better now."
Despite all their bickering and the fact that he was sick, he knew they'd take care of him. And really, how could he be anything but better in those circumstances?
"Much better when you are all here, now."
26 notes · View notes
lunafoster · 9 days
Text
Oh No (part 3)
AN: Guess who’s back! Yeah, it’s me heh. Guys I’m so sorry for abandoning you for a year, everything has been a bit hectic with my family and my studies and stuff, still is, but I’m trying to manage my time better (key word: trying). Anyway, I leave you with another part of Oh No because I was somehow able to watch ESC again this year and my brain rot came back, gifting me with a smudge of inspiration that I had to wring out as much as I could.
Warnings: none I think? Bad English (I’m sorry, I promise I’m trying), implied thoughts (iykwim), I don’t know if there are any curse words here but I warn y’all just in case.
Pairings: Bojan Cvjetićanin x fem!actress!reader + a tiny bit of Bojan x Käärijä + a tiny bit of Käärijä x fem!actress!reader
Words: 1700+
Part 1, Part 2
Without further a due, here is part 3! Hope you enjoy!
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As soon as Jere woke up, his first thought was about having lunch with Bojan and the Slovene’s girlfriend. His stomach did somersaults at the idea.
He cursed to himself when he took a look at his phone, seeing that it was later than he would’ve wanted.
He got ready as quickly as he could, taking a little more time choosing his outfit, since he wanted to look presentable and, when he was done, took everything he would need to go out and exited his room.
He knocked twice on Bojan’s room door and waited patiently (not) for someone to open the door.
“Just a second!” He heard a feminine voice from inside, sounding breathless.
The girl opened the door with a smile on her face and Jere couldn’t help but notice the light freckles across her nose bridge and cheeks. Since when did she have those? He hadn’t noticed the night before.
“Sorry, we slept in,” she said sheepishly.
“Don’t worry.” He smiled back.
When he looked towards the rest of the room, he could make out Bojan putting a shirt on and closing the closet door, smiling at Jere when he noticed him.
“Good morning!” The Slovene exclaimed cheerfully while the girl went towards the bathroom.
“Just gonna put on some makeup to fix my zombie face,” she excused herself.
“No need fix,” Jere murmured under his breath at the same time Bojan grumbled something along the lines of “what zombie face? You look like a princess in the mornings”.
She giggled cutely and singsonged a “thank you boys”, making the two men flush and widen their eyes at each other.
Bojan and Jere looked at different restaurants in the Slovene’s phone to decide where they would go beforehand while the girl finished up in the bathroom.
Exiting the hotel lobby with both Bojan and his girlfriend made him feel floaty and he couldn’t keep the dopey smile out of his face, small chuckles leaving his throat at any stupid comment one of them would make.
~~
She couldn’t help but smile as soon as she woke up, the warmth enveloping her being way too familiar for her not to know who it was embracing her from behind.
The girl stretched and snorted when Bojan grumbled something incoherent, a bad headache probably on the way to full development after the night before.
“Good morning, my love,” she whispered against his temple before kissing the warm skin there.
The grumbles grew louder in volume and she chuckled, amused, getting up and heading for the bathroom.
Finishing her morning routine was easy, as she had been doing it automatically for years. However, the fact that there was a dull ache at the back of her head made her choose to be safe and not sorry, taking out a couple of pills and swallowing one herself.
The girl took the room card and, when she was out in the corridor (pyjama-clad and all), she fist bumped when she saw what she caught a glimpse of the day before: a water fountain -with paper cups and all!
She took one of the cups and filled it with fresh water, making her way into the room again and leaving the glass and the pill on the bedside table for Bojan.
Then she checked the time.
“Shit!” She turned towards the bed and climbed on it, gently shaking her boyfriend awake. “Come on, my love.”
“Nooooo,” he whined, “five more minutes.”
“We’re gonna be late for lunch with Jere,” she explained, making him sit up instantly.
“Ugh, my head hurts,” Bojan complained, running a hand down his face and messing up his already messy bed hair.
“Swallow this, it’ll help.”
“You’re an angel sent from Heaven, dear.” He kissed her cheek and took the pill with a big gulp of water.
She chuckled while searching for something cute to wear, deciding on a floral dress, to match the spring weather (although cold, so a jacket would have to do).
There were knocks on the door and she laughed at Bojan trying to put on clothes quickly while getting detangled from the bedsheets.
~~
They finally found a restaurant they all wanted to try and they were lucky enough to be told that it wasn’t full.
“What are you gonna order?” The girl asked her boyfriend, a small pout on her lips when she couldn’t choose just one dish from the menu.
“Probably the chops,” Bojan answered.
“Of course, you Balkan dad.” Her chuckles made Jere smile with a confused tilt of his head.
“What is Balkan dad?”
Both the girl and the Slovene crossed glances and started full on laughing, a couple of heads turning in their direction.
“It’s a stereotype,” she started, but continued explaining when he just stared at her, “apparently, all dads in the Balkan countries behave the same way; and that includes loving barbecued meat!”
“Ah,” he let out eloquently.
The conversation kept flowing after they ordered their food, the sound of their amused laughter filling the small restaurant with lively energy.
“I do! I love Rammstein!” She tried to convince the other two after Käärijä mentioned his favourite band.
“There’s no way, I’ve never heard you listening to them, ever,” Bojan countered
“That’s cause I always wear headphones, duh!”
Jere was wheezing when they kept going back and forth, his cheeks hurting from how much he was smiling that day.
He chanced a look at Bojan when he couldn’t hear them arguing anymore and caught him staring with a soft smile.
“What?” He couldn’t help but ask. The smile on the other man’s face grew wider and he flushed a little.
“Nothing.”
“For real though.” The girl seemed to not have seen any of it. “A lot of people on TikTok edited me to Sonne when the last episode of The Enemy came out.”
“I get it,” Bojan agreed, suddenly, “The Enemy was way too good and the vibes of that song kinda fit.”
When Jere didn’t answer them, the Slovene turned to him with bright eyes and started explaining the plot of a show his girlfriend starred in.
“Stoooop, stop it, Bojan.” She pushed his arm as if to get his attention. “That’s enough, you don’t have to tell him everything.”
Her face was so red, and the rapper stared at the way her eyes seemed shinier.
“She looks beautiful when she blushes, right?” The Slovene teased when he saw the face Jere was making.
“No! Yes, yes,” he stuttered, blood running towards his face, “very pretty.”
She blushed harder at the comment, her eyes looking anywhere but at the two men.
“Okay, that’s enough, the both of you,” she stammered out, a small smile on her lips making it obvious that she wasn’t mad.
“Sorry, love, can’t help it,” Bojan said with a childish grin.
The conversation went towards the rehearsals and the schedules the Slovene and Fin had the next day, trying to make plans to hang out but finding they couldn’t due to everything being overlapped.
“Excuse me, I apologise but we really need a table and, since you have finished already, would you mind continuing your conversation by the bar or somewhere else, please?” A waitress asked them politely with a sorry smile on her face.
“Sure, sorry miss, we’ll be leaving now!” She announced with a flourish.
They kept discussing the next days’ schedules and ended up with a dinner plan and the idea that the girl could take turns to see the both of them during the day, as she insisted on watching them both practice.
“So, Jere, up to join us for a Netflix and chill session?”
“Bojan!” The girl stared at her boyfriend, bewildered, frantically looking around the lobby of their hotel to see if anyone else had heard.
The expression on the Fin’s face must have told the other man that he actually knew what that meant and a smirk started stretching Bojan’s lips.
“Just kidding,” the Slovene singer relented after a good laugh.
“We could watch something on Netflix, though, if you want, Jere.” The girl smiled at him, a pink hue decorating her cheeks.
Käärijä chanced another look at Bojan’s little smirk and looked away immediately after they crossed glances, slowly nodding at the girl and following the couple towards their hotel room.
He was sure Bojan knew that something was up with him, and he worried a bit (a lot) about making the other man uncomfortable.
He didn’t want to lose their friendship just because he developed a small (?) crush on him and his girlfriend. However, he told himself it didn’t seem like Bojan was mad at him; in fact, it looked exactly the opposite, as if the other singer wanted to get a reaction out of him.
He didn’t want to speculate or overthink too much, though, so he let it be for the moment.
When the subject of his thoughts opened the door with his key card, he immediately regretted his decision. There was no way the three of them would fit in that bed.
“Do you guys want snacks? We can order room service- or… didn’t we have a bunch of chocolate stuff around here somewhere, babe?” The girl started walking around and searching for something in the small fridge.
“What do you wanna watch?” Bojan asked him with a small smile directed towards his cute (what? Stop it!) girlfriend.
“You want, is fine,” he answered, trying hard to control where his eyes went.
When the girl stood back up with a quiet ‘aha!’, Bojan had already decided what to watch, setting up the laptop.
“Guys,” she started, biting her lip, “shouldn’t we at least change from our outside clothes? We sleep there, Bojan.”
“That’s very true.” He raised a hand towards his face and pushed away his hair, leaving it tousled (cute- no!). “Do you want some of my clothes, Jere? So that you don’t have to go all the way to your room.”
“Okay,” he said, ears flushing at the thought.
The girl went inside the bathroom with a set of clothes and Bojan handed him a pair of sweats and a black shirt with a smile, turning around and starting to take off his own clothes.
“Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look!” He told himself, widening his eyes and quickly turning around, changing as fast as he possibly could.
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AN2: hope you enjoyed it! If you want any more parts, give it some love!
16 notes · View notes
marswasnothere · 6 months
Text
Pretty in Pink : an unfinished draft that’s been left sitting in my docs for way too long
All the lead up to smut without anything happening, very abrupt ending, Bojan in the Pink Tavastia Collar tm, and the start of some good ole fashioned puppy bojan without getting to the good stuff
“Woo, home time!”
“I’m sooo tired du– hey, shuffle up– thanks, okay, cool… auhhhh… yeah, home time.”
“Vou, big yawn. You go sleep?”
“When we’re back at your flat, yeah.”
“Aww.”
“…what?”
“You miss out on surprise, Bojči.”
“…what do you mean?”
“Here. Look.”
“…”
“…”
“Is that one of the coll–”
“Shhh. Mikke front seat.”
“Okay, okay… just. Hhh– what the fuck.”
“You look cute in. I want to see my puppy again.”
“… holy shit.”
“You do not like?”
“No– no, I lov– it’s good, I love it. I’m wide awake now.”
“Phew, okei.”
“…I jus– h-how’d you get it?”
“Stole from Matti. Will return. Don’t stain it.”
“Jeeesus, Jere…”
— — — — —
The moment after Jere waves the car away, shuts the door, and kicks off his shoes, Bojan has him pinned against the wall. His eyes dart between Jere’s soft yet chapped lips and his icy eyes, staring right back with innocence, as if he hasn't basically been teasing Bojan the entire car ride.
When Jere showed him the collar, that little strip of pink dotted with black spikes sitting in his hand, Bojan’s mind raced back a few hours. He knew he was going to join Jere on stage for Cha Cha Cha for both shows, and half joked, half suggested that he wear the dancer’s bright pink costumes. Matti took that suggestion in stride and passed him his outfit to try it on, maybe recording something while they’re at it. Bojan could only slip the collar on and pull it tight around his neck before he decided that was enough, and sat patiently for Matti to pass him the costume from behind his phone instead.
Just a short, fun video. That was all.
Until Jere walked in and called Bojan “my pretty puppy.”
All he could do was sit as Jere tousled his hair and baby-talked to him in Finnish, pretending like it was absolutely not turning him on in the slightest. Bojan decided to test his luck when Jere gave him a command to speak, and he barked.
Now why, in all things holy on this very Earth, did his spine tingle with arousal all the way from his non-existent dog ears to his dick?
He tried to laugh the feeling off, and thankfully Jere joined him. Bojan prayed that his jeans weren’t tented when he passed the costume back to Matti, and hesitated when he reached up to unclip the collar.
“Here, I got.”
Jere’s fingertips brushed his neck. Bojan’s breath hitched. The tightness of the collar around his neck was gone, and for some reason, Bojan missed it.
“There we go, puppy.”
He could blame any pink on his cheeks from drinking. Easy.
What wasn’t easy was trying to stay calm when getting on all fours, letting Jere ride him with his hand so dangerously close to his neck, accidentally revealing his O-face to hundreds of people twice in one night, and then having to sit next to him in a silent car ride, knowing he’s going to get his brains fucked out and be barking like a dog for Jere–
He …huh. Okay then.
“You still sleepy?”
Bojan, back in the moment, lets out a weak chuckle.
“No. Nope. You kept me awake. Hand on my thigh and all that.” He tugs Jere’s puffer jacket off his shoulders. “I always fall asleep in cars, plus it’s, like, one in the morning. It’s crazy how a little bit of your attention makes me stay up.”
Jere smiles as he watches him talk. He slides the jacket off and hangs it up, then returns his hands to cup Bojan’s cheeks. They’re warm, flushed from cold air and close proximity.
“We celebrate now. To Bojan here in Finland,” in between giving a quick kiss to his lips, he whispers, “here with me.”
Bojan lets his eyes drift shut as they sink into a longer kiss. His hands trail up underneath Jere’s shirt, pulling him closer as he parts their lips with his tongue. Jere nudges forwards and their teeth clack together, but all Bojan feels is his adorable smile pressed into his lips that he’s going to feel imprinted on them, long after he returns to Slovenia.
He wants to revel in the warmth of Jere’s mouth, taste the slick wetness of their tongues together for the rest of his life. Bojan keeps his hands on Jere’s hips, gently squeezing his love handles.
“And to successful concert,” Jere adds, though it sounds a little more like “suck-ess-fool” to the Slovene's ears.
“Mmm, yeah.” Keeping his eyes shut, Bojan trails kisses up from Jere's lips to his cheek, then nibbles at his earlobe. In turn, Jere lets out sweet sighs of pleasure, his head resting on Bojan’s shoulder.
“I’m so glad we’re alone now,” he whispers into Jere’s ear.
“I get to see puppy all for myself,” Jere responds, breath hot against his neck
Bojan stills.
There’s that stupid little tingle again. It happened in the car, it happened in Tavastia, it happened in Liverpool when Jere called him his dog in that steak restaurant, and, fuck, it’s happened so many more times when Bojan fantasised about Jere all alone in his bedroom.
“Bojči? You ok–”
“Do you still have the collar?”
Bojan refuses to give him a chance to worry if anything is wrong.
It takes a second for Jere to verify the situation, and he grins, reaching over to his jacket. He dips his hand into the pocket and backs up against the wall, separating their embrace, much to Bojan’s dismay. It’s momentary sadness, as when he pulls the collar out, that little irresistible strip of pink fabric, Bojan swears he might collapse from how weak his knees become.
Jere dangles the collar from pinched fingertips, practically eye-fucking Bojan right where he’s standing.
“You want to wear again?"
“Obviously,” Bojan whispers, conscious of the heat in his cheeks and how embarrassing he must look.
Jere flashes a smile. When his fingertips brush against his neck, Bojan feels like he’s going to explode. There's no delicate way to put it. Jere knows his weakness and Bojan knows he’s going to use it to his advantage. The collar is soft against his skin, wrapping around his neck just like Jere’s hands from the past times they experimented together — explored each other's bodies, as one might say.
The ends of the collar click together, and an overwhelming heat rushes through Bojan’s body. He can’t help but shudder when Jere cradles the back of his head. Something about being locked in, being his puppy, being owned.
Bojan never considered himself to be a kinky guy, but he might have a few things to discuss with Jere in the morning after, including a trip to whatever weird Finnish sex shop they can find.
“How it feel?”
“…weird,” Bojan answers. Jere’s smile drops so he finishes his response. “Good weird. It’s good, just different, and I– I like it. Yeah… I like it. What do you think?”
Bojan puffs his chest out with his question, making Jere giggle behind his hand.
“You make very cute puppy, Bojan,” he says, “but I like you better on floor, where dog belong, yes?”
Jesus fucking Christ, if he doesn’t fuck me right here, right now, this trip was all for nothing.
His face gives away his thoughts. Jere laughs again, his hand moving up to stroke Bojan’s hair. Bojan relaxes at his touch. He glances to the side when Jere gently holds his greying strands in between his soft fingers, wishing he wouldn’t have a constant reminder of his stress poking out from his hairline.
“Am I going fast? Too much for you?” Jere asks.
“No– no, keep going, I like it when you talk and… talk about what you want me to do.”
Jere hums.
Bojan stares at his lips, plush, soft, a little chapped from the cold. He has no doubt Jere’s staring at his own too.
“On floor. Like on stage, you crawl. You crawl for me, like walking dog. You can do, yes?”
It practically rips the oxygen out of Bojan’s lungs with how easy and casually he can say that. Their eyes meet, Bojan staring at him, with parted lips and upturned eyebrows. He nods, awkwardly lowering himself while he holds onto Jere’s arms for balance.
“There you go,” Jere coos as his knees hit the floor.
He doesn’t seem to care about how hard Bojan holds onto his forearms, or how his ankles click, or how he groans at the aches radiating through his post-gig body. Every little thing that Bojan thinks about seems to fly right past his mind. How can Jere not see how embarrassing he looks? How pathetic, and desperate, and awkward, and–
“Good boy, Bojan. Good puppy.”
“Woof.”
Bojan barks.
He feels that goddamned tingle up his spine again.
AAAAAAND THATS ALL I GOT UP TO :DDD
15 notes · View notes
volturiwolf · 4 months
Text
Ona - Bojan Cvjetićanin x fem!reader
A/N: Contains swearing and self-criticism
A/N 2: This is my interpretation of "Ona", which goes parallel to "Ne Bi Smel"
A/N 3: Everything is fiction and does not depict the real people or situations
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I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I was forcefully woken up by none other than Kris Guštin, who shook me with one hand while slapping me with the other. 
"Bojan! Bojan! Cvjetićanin! Wake up! You're having a bad dream again!"
I grunted, letting him know that I had already woken up so that he would stop hitting me on my face. He didn't stop, so I slapped him back until he did.
"Ei! Why'd you do that?" Kris sounded offended.
"Because you wouldn't stop!"
"Because I thought you were still asleep. Open your eyes if you woke up then."
I grunted again. I was in no mood to open my eyes, mostly because I knew they'd be still red from last night's crying session. But I was pretty sure Kris would continue slapping me if I didn't, so I eventually did.
"Shit, dude. You look like shit."
"Yeah, no shit. I know I look awful. Can you leave me on my own for a few hours?"
"Bojči, we have to go on stage in 45 minutes," Jure whispered from my left side, slowly and carefully petting my head. "We let you sleep a bit more than usual, but you have to get ready, okay?"
Jure's voice was like a lullaby in my ear, and, though I didn't want to wake up, we had an obligation towards the fans that came to see us. I had an obligation to my friends to step out there and perform. I looked like shit and I felt like shit, but I had about 40 minutes to fix all this and make it seem like I was fine.
It was part of the tour routine by now: wake up around noon, attempt to make a decent coffee for Martin and me, have Martin drive us to the studio, check the last details, have lunch, have someone from the crew pick us up and drive us to the concert location, have soundcheck, get ready, perform, gather the equipment, have something to eat, drive back home, get ready for bed, and go to sleep.
At least, that’s what the others did. I barely remember eating half of my lunch in the past few weeks or even going to sleep at a reasonable hour without having balled my eyes out before. We were on tour for the past few months, trying to establish ourselves more and more within the north ex-Yugoslavian area.
It was probably the worst time to feel such a self-loath but I deserved it after everything I did to her.
“How could you, Bojan? I loved you! I trusted you! You said you’d never hurt me like this! You said you were different! That I was different! You said what we had was special!”
Her voice was still echoing inside my mind, even after this long; a reminder of my guilt; a reminder that I was the worst person for what I did to her; for how much I hurt her.
“Joker Out, out in 5’!” Our stage manager shouted, and I had no choice but to put on a fake smile and drag myself out on the stage.
I honestly dreaded every time I had to show my face anywhere, whether that was on stage, in front of the fans, or the studio, in front of my friends. Performing was a nice distraction, though temporary, because every time we got off stage, my thoughts would turn back to her and guilt would eat me up again.
It was almost the middle of August, and we were going through a very hot summer already, but I felt such a cold and loneliness in my heart. And it was all because of me.
“I don’t want to see you ever again! Here! Take your stuff and leave! Leave and don’t you ever try to come back! I hate you, Bojan Cvjetićanin! I hate you and I don’t want to see you ever again!”
“Bojan? Bojan?” I felt someone shaking me again. I looked up to see Jan.
“Wha-? What? What’s going on?”
“The guys and I thought we’d go down by the lake to grab something to eat before we drive back to Ljubljana. Do you want to come?”
“Ehm, nah, not really. I’m pretty exhausted. I’m just gonna head back home.”
“Okay, wait here. I’ll let Kiki know so he can drive you back.”
“No need. I don’t feel so tired. I’ll drive myself. I’ll take Martin’s car.”
“Are you sure? I don’t think you’re…okay enough to drive.” Was it because I lost all of my motivation to live?
“I’m fine, Jan. Honestly. I feel okay enough to drive. It’ll help clear up my mind anyway.”
Jan sighed heavily. “You need to forget her, man. It will only cause you pain.”
I swallowed the tears and sob that were about to burst out of me. “I’ll be fine,” I mumbled before turning around and walking out of the dressing room.
.*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*.
The drive back home was irritatingly long, despite being only one and a half hours in actuality. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, squeezing the steering wheel so hard, I almost felt like I’d break my hands.
I tried to put on some music from a CD that was left behind and forgotten to ease my mind, but the moment the first song started playing, I stopped the CD faster than I thought I would.
It was one of her favorite songs, “Sorry” by Halsey. It was the CD mix I made her and gifted her on our 4-month anniversary. She loved music so much and I thought I’d make her a CD for her to remember me by whenever I couldn’t be with her.
I put a great effort into finding songs she loved and collecting them all in one simple CD. I went through all the songs she liked, her albums, her music history, her likes on her social media; whatever I could find related to music.
She was the first one to hear our album before its release date. She was the one I danced “Umazane Misli” with, and the one I wrote “A Sem Ti Povedal” for, among others. She was my muse, my inspiration, my love. And I fucked everything up, for just a careless, random night with a random woman.
It broke my heart when I eventually had to confess my infidelity to her, in fear of her finding out from someone else. But I knew she hurt much more than I did, as she started trembling and breaking down in tears in front of me.
I tried to hold her; to keep her close to my heart, but she only pushed me away, yelling and crying, crying and yelling. She had to push me out of her apartment, and I did not resist at all. I knew I was in the wrong here, and I needed to give her some space and time to breathe and clear her mind.
She did eventually, a few days later, when she sent me a text “We’re done. It’s over.”
I wasn’t the same man after that. It was only after I read her text that I realized the gravity of her words. Four words that pierced through my heart. A hole that’s still bleeding. A hole that will never be whole again.
She never wanted to see me again. I hurt her, so she hurt me back. She now hated me and I was sure that there was nothing I could do to win her back.
So what was I even doing now? Standing under her window, desperate, with no excuse or a word to say to her? Why was I doing this to her? Why was I doing this to myself? There was no point in standing under her apartment, waiting to get a peak of her shadow passing by the window.
But there I was, so desperate to know she was alive and doing well, despite me not being there to hug and support her. It was too late for that anyway. But my ego wouldn’t let me walk away from her. That, and the fact that I was still so painfully in love with her.
So, for the next few months, I spent every night I could waiting under her window, watching, hoping, waiting. I was hoping she would be feeling the same way as I did, but she never texted again after that last text she sent me on that awful day.
The band was progressing; we were getting more known and we were gaining more and more fans. We even presented our first album at a huge concert in Cvetličarna, which was broadcast later by RTV Slovenija.
But that was still not enough to make me forget her. If anything, it made me think more of her; how I wish she was still in the first row, giving me strength, courage, and power to give my everything on stage.
And the months passed, and I got to host and sing EMA 2022, which was a huge deal for me and the band as a result. And I had my fair share of public and private relationships in the meanwhile, but none of them were her. 
She was truly special. Every day with her was like the first time I ever saw her. And how I did everything I could to find out her favorite spots so I could “randomly” show up when she was there. And I managed to score a date with her, eventually, after months of trying to pursue her. And after a week, I asked her to be mine. Because I knew I couldn’t just let her go. I had to be with her.
And she agreed and we had a wonderful few years together until I made the biggest mistake of my life which I still regret to this day. It felt like a lot of my inspiration was lost along with her.
And then, like a spark of realization and inspiration, I thought I’d pour all my feelings and thoughts on paper. And that’s how Ona was born.
.*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*.
Križanke was just around the corner - a huge sold-out show where we’d finally present our newest album, Demoni. Between that and Martin’s inevitable departure from the band, we were constantly on our feet and our phones, trying to figure out what we were going to do next.
Martin was still indecisive, not knowing if Križanke would be his last concert - he kept saying he would try to find a solution and maybe delay his master’s admission, just until everything regarding the band was settled. But I knew my best friend; I knew he was anxious and scared and worried for us, but I wanted what was best for him, even if that meant we weren’t going to be playing together anymore.
And I was willing to sacrifice this part of my happiness for his happiness. After all, we wouldn’t be strangers; we’d still be close to each other, texting and video calling. I was willing to endure everything because Martin really stood by my side ever since she left me. Not that the others didn’t, but Martin knew exactly what I was feeling about her, and how my stupid actions messed everything up.
Every time I imagined having children, I always imagined her as their mother. Every time I said we were going to grow old and still be playing in this band, I always imagined her as my biggest fan, in the front row, supporting and cheering me. Every time I thought of my future, she was a part of it, in every possible scenario.
Only Martin knew that. Only Martin reprimanded me the way he did because he was the only one I had confessed how much she meant to me. Only he knew the extent I was willing to take my life to just to have her by my side. And only he knew how badly I had messed up.
I only told the others that we broke up because of “the band’s hectic schedule”, because I was too embarrassed to tell them how I betrayed the woman I loved so deeply and so wholly, just for a stupid, drunken mistake - not that was even an excuse.
But that was then, and Križanke was now. And, once again, I had to gather up my pieces, put on a smile, and let the show go on.
.*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*.
“Križanke! You’ve been amazing so far! We’re about halfway through the setlist and I’d like to talk to you about this next song.”
The crowd in front of me was cheering so loudly, but I felt like a deer in headlights, gulping the nonexistent saliva in my dry mouth, feeling my heartbeat rising by the second. I turned around and took a big gulp from the water bottle in front of Jure’s drums.
“This next song is kind of a confession. Last year, my ex-girlfriend broke up with me.” Screams and booing were heard from some parts of the audience. “And it was entirely my fault. Because she loved me, and I didn’t appreciate her enough. And I made a mistake.” Some gasps were now heard. “And I regret it to this day. But I know I cannot fix this in any way, not with a song, not with anything. But, at least, I can let her know that I never loved anyone like I loved her, and this song is for her. Ona. Moja ljubav.”
“Stanem ispod njenog prozora
Jedna njena senka da me spasi očaja.”
I was desperate for just a glimpse of happiness that her shadow alone would bring me. Even though I was not acting like myself anymore.
“Snegovi u avgustu sad po meni padaju
Dok tebe sunce greje, mi amore.”
Last August I spent almost every night waiting for her to show up, to notice me, to talk to me as I was standing under her window. But she never did.
“Znaj, bebo znaj
Celu noć sam plakao zbog tebe
Taj osećaj
Da za mene živo ti se jebe
Ubija me.”
I wasn’t afraid to tell anyone how my own mistake messed me and everything up; how I cried for her because I loved and still love her; how I knew she wouldn’t care about me anymore, and I cannot blame her for that. I doubt I would if the situation was the other way around. 
“Kažu vreme leči rane sve
Al' ne kažu koliko da se odviknem od nje
Godina je prošla, još vraća se u san
Vrti kao film sećanje na onaj dan.”
It’s been over a year since she broke up with me. Over a year since everyone was telling me that I’d get over her with time, because “time is supposed to heal everything”. My mind still keeps on replaying the day I told her over and over again, as a kind of punishment, a reminder that I was the one responsible for my misery from the very beginning.
“Znaj, bebo znaj
Celu noć sam plakao zbog tebe
Taj osećaj
Da za mene živo ti se jebe
Ubija me, ubija me.”
That was the only thing I could repeat over and over. I had accepted my fate and the fact that she wasn’t going to come back, and I had to live with that. I would continue to suffer - I knew that - but I also knew I deserved it.
Maybe one day, she would come back. Maybe one day, I could win her back. But until then, all I could do was hope.
.*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*.
What Bojan - or anyone else, for the matter - did not know was that right there, somewhere in the back of that Križanke crowd, was a young woman whose heart was broken irrevocably a year ago by the only man she ever fell in love with. The man she’d sacrifice everything and anything for. The man she could see her future with. The man she still loved so deeply, but it was far too late to tell him that.
“Celu noć si plakao zbog mene
Celu noć si plakao zbog mene.”
So she did the only thing she could. She kept on singing along with the crowd; singing and enjoying the songs. The songs she had the privilege to hear first. The songs that made her love him even more than she already did. The songs he once wrote for her.
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