#the dread i feel | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

glassrooibos · 2 months

Text

FABIAN DON’T DO THAT. THAT’S SCARY.

6K notes · View notes

impostoradult · 9 months

Text

this week is going to be absolutely abysmal

#the dread I feel #is immense

0 notes

inkskinned · 1 year

Text

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

32K notes · View notes

isbergillustration · 22 days

Text

#sketchbook #acrylic painting #my art #desperately trying to scan around the cat on my lap who will not move #this is mostly for me #2 days. until i get a new gp and can get meds that wont make me feel so physically bad in exchange for a little less dread. hpoefulli #just like the angels i draw aren’t nightvale or magnus archives or whatever else people tag it as fanart of #but at least those are media i have heard of and enjoy

3K notes · View notes

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 7 months

Text

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

4K notes · View notes

fence-time · 5 days

Text

🎵chill lofi-cyberpunk beats to eat soup to🎵

#fence posts #impulsesv #skizzleman #geminitay #hermitcraft #hermitblr #animation #so so happy with how this turned out :3 even tho it’s not the best #(don’t look too hard at skizz or impulses hands. look at gem instead. I’m happy with how she turned out :3c)#also the front part of the bg (not the actual kitchen that sucks lol) but the Main Street and the tables and chairs.. very happy considerin #how much I hate drawing scenes :P #kinda dreading this is gonna flop tho lol praying it won’t 🙏#I can already feel the quality getting murdered..

739 notes · View notes

insignificantfailure · 2 months

Text

im so fucking useless

715 notes · View notes

unspuncreature · 2 years

Text

and when I say “pick two” I mean that your brain and/or body picks two for you at random at the start of each day

#really feeling it today #’it’ being fatigue and dread #I want to make things. so badly #feel free to rb lmao

18K notes · View notes

otaku553 · 3 months

Text

I wanted to draw a fun encouraging piece because it’s been a rough week and I think it just turned out looking like a “lets take ibuprofen together” meme

#one piece #monkey d luffy #revolutionary sabo #sabo #portgas d ace #I mean #it worked I am no longer feeling the existential dread lmao

597 notes · View notes

latinashepard · 9 months

Text

election day tomorrow

#just kidding i am not even remotely excited i just feel dreas #dread*

1K notes · View notes

eggsploded · 7 months

Text

mutant kids

#egg art #homestuck #solkat #karkat vantas #sollux captor #they make me so sad #that if all goes wrong sollux will be forced to live until his body gives while karkat is killed on sight #but also makes my heart warm #that both became friends not knowing how alike they were #dickhead. you feel the dread too dont you? lets play tf2 together #i hate you so much (please be safe)

864 notes · View notes

peanutseagle · 1 year

Note

Could u plz draw part 2 of Damian asking Anya 's hand from Loid ?

Your wish is my command, anon 🥖

(part one)

2K notes · View notes

syn0vial · 1 year

Text

boba fett's childhood is such an untapped goldmine of uncanny existential horror, even before he loses his father.

like, imagine growing up never seeing another child except those that are identical to you—carbon copies in every way, except their heads are shaved, they're plugged into machines all day, and they never stay children for very long. the ones that survive turn into men who look like your father, but your father calls them cattle, cannon fodder.

you're a clone, too. you should be cattle like them, but your father doesn't call you those things. he says you're his real son and that he loves you.

your father loves you. this is what distinguishes you from the cattle and the canon fodder. your father loves you and that's what makes you a person.

and :) then :) he :) fucking :) dies :)

#boba fett #jango fett #star wars #boba fett meta #i think LoTF really hit the nail on the head in their portrayal of adult!boba's feelings about his father #in that yes he loves his father and thinks he was a good dad #and also just so happens to have a near-religious dread of the man #and feels constantly scrutinized and judged by him even decades after his death #it's tragic bc jango DID love boba unconditionally and really seemed to do his best to be a loving father #and yet... bc of his own trauma his best still happens to include a lot of uh. not-great things #that man really should've gone to therapy before having a kid i tell you what

4K notes · View notes

an-established-butt-dent · 11 days

Text

On the hunt-

-made of dreams and nightmares,

the dreadwolf

Ink and colored pencil on paper

231 notes · View notes

oatbugs · 1 month

Text

last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.

#she said it like a law. its just momentum.#also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together #and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn #they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th #UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there #and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe #ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in #death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is #unwarranted #anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday #they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭#but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but #alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually #OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW #i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident #....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant

245 notes · View notes

goddidntdothis · 8 months

Text

[ DAY EIGHTEEN : HOUSE ON THE OUTSKIRTS ]

#throwback to the most stressed any game has ever made me #i didn’t even find the baby i ran out of the house nearly dead and its cries vanished at my back #as i walked away from the house feeling a hollow dread i’ve never forgotten #pathologic #artemy burakh #the haruspex #pathologic fanart #pathologic fest

847 notes · View notes