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neonovember · 1 year

Note

Oh my GOD oh my for okay though that new fic you wrote with Carmy? 12/10 chefs kiss mwah mwah MWAH!! 💕💕💕 That part with Carmy going ballistic and beating the shit out of that asshole customer I LOVED it!! Now it’s got me thinking of Carmen going absolutely feral, just insane if he’s in the kitchen cooking and calling orders, while you’re out front taking orders from customers. He and the rest of the kitchen just go silent and stop in their tracks when they hear a guy just screaming at the top of his lungs at you, using the absolute most vile words against you and Carmen just sees red, especially if whoever it is ups and yells something along the lines of “You stupid fucking whore-“ and Carmen’s just a blur as he POUNCES on this guy. (Richie’s either cheering him on or trying with all his strength to claw Carmen off before he straight up kills the guy)

Office Doors

Oooh you guys are spoiling me rotten with these requests…I love a good feral fic every once in a while and this one was..well you'll know what i'm talking about once you've read it ;) I haven't written Carmen in a day and I miss him already, school has been up my ass so if you have sent me a request, don't worry it's being written, and re-written and-. Thank you anon for getting my gears going and your lovely messages 🥰🥺 ur support means the world

warnings: swearing, objectification and misogyny, angst, oral (f recieving), smut, thigh riding (?), porn with plot, feral!carmen

carmen berzatto x reader!

(This is totally and completely canon btw)

You stretch your body across the diner tables, dipping a dirty cloth into lukewarm soapy water before rinsing it out. The lunch rush had just slowed to a even pace, the sound of Carmen yelling out dishes from his line finally quieting down.

You have just a little time to spare, and you spent that time quickly wiping down the Beef’s tables that had begun to accumulate a few too many stains and unfinished crumbs of bread.

You had grown up in a home that was always messy, all the time. And no matter how much times you had asked, and no matter how much times you had just done the chores themselves, the clutter of dirty dishes and old wet clothes in the laundry had permanently been embedded into your family home.

It’s partially why you had loved the sterile laboratory of you culinary kitchens. Clutter caused your skin to itch with anxiety, it made you feel dirty, and with the way you scrub the diner tables a little too hard you wonder if it's another one of the many joy’s your family had given you.

And whilst the Beef was so different from your environment back in culinary school, it wasn’t necessarily worse. In fact, you had grown to fall in love with the quirks of the kitchen, the ‘fuck you carmen’ napkin holder, the too small walkway, the framed pictures of beloved regulars and the staff’s families. Most of all, however, was the family you had built here, the kind you couldn't find working under a domineering CDC.

The kind that had always been waiting for you, been planted deep into the earth like roots.

Besides, you and Carmen had bonded together during the late nights after most of the family had gone home. Were you both were left, scrubbing the floor together in a rhythmic silence that seemed to be more therapeutic than work.

You’ve nearly finished wiping down the last of the stools perched against the counter top of the front when a loud guffawing causes you to break your trance-like state.

Jovial yelling breaks into the rarely quiet restaurant as the door swings open, and a stream of rowdy men dressed in pullovers and fleece jackets, with scarves and basketball hats of distinct sport team colours wrapped around their necks.

One man is fully decked out, sporting the jersey and beanie of what seemed to be a hockey team. The boom of his voice indicates he was the loudest too, unaware of the grumble of patrons around the restaurant that had grown annoyed at the man's violent rambling.

You breath out a sigh, finishing off wiping down the bar stools and putting the bucket of dirty water under the front counter. Before ironing out any creases in your apron and preparing yourself for the absolute headache this would cause.

They were a familiar bunch, usually coming in after games late after the dinner rush. It seemed there was a game during the early morning, as they grumble about not having anything to eat the entire day.

Their loud and annoying and swear too much and Carmen hates the way one of them looks at you but they order a shit ton of food and fuck if the bear needs money, what can you say.

Your eyes glance at a cup of coffee Richie had accidently left under the register, and you suddenly crave your afternoon pick me up well after the afternoon. The men begin walking up to the register, ignoring your polite greeting and going straight into listing off items from the menu as if you were a machine. You nod along all the words they were saying, and soon enough you give up on writing it down as they’ve practically ordered the entire menu safe for a few appetiser's.

“Make it quick, yeah? We’re bloody starving '' One of the men calls out from his seated position in one of the booths and you give them a tight lipped smile, resisting the urge to throw that coffee mug at him.

Carmen peeks his head from the entryway leading to the kitchen, his unruly ashy blonde curls falling to the sides as he shares a look with you, as if to say ‘you alright? And you nod in that unspoken way the two of you have and tell him that you can handle it. Working in a kitchen didn't have to teach you how to deal with assholes, you had your family to thank for that one again.

You hear the familiar sound of Carmen shouting out orders, and the sizzle of pans and boiling pots increase in order to push out the lengthy order before more foot traffic would pour in.

You’re trying to fix the register when it happens, something gets caught in the old janky machine, causing the cash drawer to get stuck as you have to hit its sides at a certain angle to get it to open up again. Years and Carmen refuses to get it fixed, or buy a new one all together, resorting to having it taped up and banged every couple hours to get it working again.

You almost don’t see him, until he is leaning against the counter, into the space between the cash register and you, a greasy smile pulling at his features and he watches you. You bite back a grimace at the way his eyes trail down your apron, fixated on the dip of skin that peeks from the top of your shirt.

“Something you need Sir?” You ask politely, taking a tentative step back, your hand gripping the edge of the counter.

The man smiles strangely at your comment, cocking his head to the side before replying suggestively

“I definitely want something”

You cough, biting back your knee-jerk response to hurl at him, you can feel the burn of embarrassment against your cheeks and you swallow as you try to reply with a steady response.

“You’re food will be out in a short-while-”

“You know, I think I’ve seen you around here, are you new to town?” The man tries to strike up a conversation

“Came here a few years ago and haven’t left since” You reply with a tight smile

“Ah! I know where you're from exactly now” The man replies with a grin that pulls his face upwards, it's eerie, his smile, like he knows something he shouldn't.

“There’s this porn star online, looks exactly like you, it’s kind of insane” The man replies with a smile that deepens as you stammer

You feel humiliated as you stare back at him, you don’t know what to say, and his eyes continue trailing down your body in a way that makes you feel disgustingly objectified. He’s reduced you to an object for him to gawk at, and you see the way the men behind him jeer and laugh that this is all a play to intimidate you.

You want to run straight home and scrub yourself clean, wash away the feeling of his imprinted gaze down the drain.

“You think we can recreate one of her videos when you get off work here?” The man replies, a glint in his eyes.

“What? You- you” You stammer and he breaks out into a laugh

“Awh, look at her, fucking shaking. Don’t tell me this is your first time?” The man eggs on to his friends, who have begun laughing and cheering him on.

You grit your teeth, trying to get the words out as you glance towards the kitchen, where was he? He leg twitches in want, wanting to get Carmen, wanting to run from the restaurants, wanting to run from the embarrassment and disgust you felt.

The flashes of Richie and Syd passing by is all you can see, the booming voice of Carmen being too wrapped up in the orders to notice what was happening.

“C'mon, just give me your number” The man presses on, leaning in so that only you can hear “It isn't like I don't know where you work” Before he leans back, muttering a halfhearted kidding under his breath

“You are disgusting” You spit out, trying to sound as confident as you can, and the mans eyebrow twitches, and he cocks his head like he was confused.

“What? I’m doing you a favour here, I'm actually a nice guy you know? Not one of those assholes on the street” The man scoffs, moving closer towards you and you have a feeling the man is waiting for a reason to lunge at you.

“Just, just take your food and your buddies and go alright? There doesn’t have to be a fight or-or” You continue, trying to de-escalate the situation and get him to just leave you the fuck alone.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I’m doing you a fucking favour and now your kicking me out?” The man begins to get heated, and his friends behind him watch on in silence, you can notice other customers begin to look your way, sensing the rising anger filling the room. You slowly step back, looking for something to shield yourself in case he comes at you.

“What, you think because you work you have some- some what, control? I don't think you know how this works doll, you give me your number, and I dump my load in you because your nothing but a stupid fucking whore” The man bellow, it’s so loud that it echoes through the Beef, that it reaches even the kitchen sinks where Manny is washing up.

The man’s face grows red as the veins near his neck begin to pop out, he emphasises the last word, spitting it out like that was all you were.

The restaurant goes silent as the man heaves in exertion, the sound of Carmen shooting out orders is mute now, the slice of steel against bamboo stops, and the bear is fucking quite for the first time since it opened.

Your body is pushed against the wall, near the swinging doors into the Kitchen, and you can see Carmen back to you, he has stopped cutting at his station, and the outline of muscle contracts under his white shirt.

Carmen turns, slowly, he turns to the family, as they all momentarily stop their tasks in shock at what they had just heard. He begins to chuckle a little to himself, as he replies in a quiet voice you and the man can still hear.

“What did he just say?”

“Did he really say that? Did he really?” Carmen laughs to himself, nodding and gripping his hands into tight fists as the restaurant air gets thin. The man who had been screaming at you looks towards Carmen in confused fear, not knowing why this man was laughing and yet understanding he had completely fucked up.

The rest of the patrons can hear Carmen’s words, eyes widening, as they realise they were about to be collateral to a very one sided beat down. The crew looked at Carmen in silence, they had been used to Carmen's hot-headed temper, his bursts of anger that was more passion than rage. But this? This quiet silence of Carmen’s words, the way his chest heaves as you glances at your frightened position against the wall? They genuinely feared what he would do next, a silent rage like no other begins to envelop the restaurant, the air thin and suffocating as Carmen begins to walk through the kitchen and into the front counter.

“Don’t call an ambulance this time” Carmen mutters to Richie as he passes him by, Carmen’s eyes are fixed on you, trailing down your body before fixating on the shake of your hands. Carmen knows you well, and it’s the clench of your throat, like you're suffocating, like you can’t breath that snaps something in Carmen.

A malevolence Carmen has never felt spills into his gut, the burn of anger spreading against his chest until hes practically shaking with it, he is filled with this heart ache, like his heart is split in two and gushing as he realises his been cutting fucking chives whilst you nearly died.

And something predatory fills Carmen, like he must prove to himself he can protect you, and in one swift move, like muscle memory etched into his bones, Carmen jumps over the front counter and swings his fist in one clean motion, knocking the man across the room.

The man’s body crumbles as he slams into the hardwood floor of the Beef, the immediate groan of twisted pain and pleads leave the man's mouth and Carmen is just so sick of his goddamn voice.

It all went quiet then, the noise of Sydney yelling, of his friends, of the man’s heaving wet coughs, the air conditioner, all white noise. Carmen’s hand reaches for his ankle, dragging him back from his crawling escape.

“Oh, no no no, we’re not escaping now are we?” Carmen grunts, his voice lower than it usually is.

Carmen wraps an arm around his throat, holding him there as he brings down his fist across his face. The wet sound of bones crunching into muscle and skin go on forever, bouncing across the room until the throaty heave of the man is all that is left of him. Carmen cannot stop the swing of his fists, something possesses him and as one of the men in hockey colours tries to grab Carmen arm he throws him back into the stack of barstool's piled near the tables. He is facing his back to you again, and you state, fixated on how his body moves to support him, the contracts and outline of his strong back, his large forearms that break bone with a mere swing.

His face swollen beyond recognition, piss and blood leaking from him, eyes bloodshot and awry.

Carmen picks him up by his collar, the smudge of blood dripping down and staining his vest, whispering into his ear as the man’s eyes widen in harrowed fear.

“Apologise”

“..Whatnhn?” The man mumbles, the feel of his tongue swelling up and going numb, Carmen presses a hand against the man's bruised stomach, pushing against the broken bone of his ribs until the Man wails in agony.

“Apologise to her or I swear to god I’m breaking your fucking legs”

The man spits out an apology, but you’re not looking at him, staring transfixed at Carmen, at the way he’s golden curls fall across his eyebrows, at the way his muscles flex against his white shirt, at the way droplets of blood are splattered across the skin of his jaw. Carmen looks towards you, and something dark takes over his cerulean blues, blowing them out.

“Do you accept? Huh honey?”

You nod, letting an exhale out and Carmen tosses the man to a pile on the floor, reaching for your hand and dragging you to the office, you can hear the scatter of shoes as the men drag their friend out of the beef, and the crew looks towards each other in satisfaction, but also in knowing, in knowing they wouldn't dare open those office doors.

The soft glow of the office is a stark difference to the bright light of the front counter, and you have to blink a couple times for your eyes to adjust, and when you do Carmen’s face is inches from you, leaning you against the office doors, his arm above your head.

“You didn't- didn’t have to” You mumble, your voice caught in your throat for a different reason.

Carmen looks down at you, shaking his head in amusement

“Don’t lie to me, you enjoyed that more than I did” Carmen whispers, leaning down near your ear, pressing his nose against the curve of your neck.

You let out a breathless sigh, and Carmen groans as he smells that familiar vanilla always hinted on your skin Carmen could smell when you passed by you. Now, now, he can practically taste it right on his tongue.

The truth was, you did enjoy it, despite being non confrontational and cringing every time Richie would show you a fight where the crunch of bone on gravel makes you shudder, you were transfixed by Carmen.

By the way he broke the man to a heaving mess with just his fuckinf fists, those same arms that are edging closer and closer to you, how would they feel between your thighs? The thought wraps itself tight in your belly, and you have to squeeze your thighs for friction.

No one had done that to you, no one had done that for you, and in a strange way it felt nice to be protected. To be wanted, and it causes a need to start building deep within you.

Carmen's eyes fall to you, and his eyebrow twitches as a look of guilt washes over his features.

“I should’ve been there, I- fuck, did he do anything? Let me get a look at you” Carmen replies softly, grabbing your wrists to look for any bruises he feared you had.

“I’m fine, just a little, uhm, shaken up you know? Said some pretty horrible things” You reply, scratching at your neck as your mind replays the way he had reduced you to a thing.

Carmen shakes his head, his teeth grinding as he grips his fists, his biceps flexing.

“You shouldn’t have to deal with that, deal with people like fucking him, I swear to god if I find him on the street I’m gonna-“

“Gonna what? Finish off the job? There is always going to be guys like him, that isn’t going to change, and it’s something I have to deal with. But what I can’t deal with is if you get yourself thrown into a jail cell because of-of me” You reply, shaking your head and Carmen looks at you like he’s in love.

Gripping a hand to your chin, Carmen raises it so that you catch the burn of his cerulean blues as you can see.

“And That would be an honourable death for me” Carmen mutters, and you can’t take your eyes off him, until you're gripping his blood stain shirt tight against your chest until the suppression groans leaving his mouth are kissed into your neck.

You want him, want to taste him on your tongue, want to feel his weight against it.

“Fuckin come here” Carmen groans out, reaching to wrap his hand around your jaw as he presses his lips against your own. The muffled of your moans escape your lips and Carmen slips his tongue between them.

His pillowy soft lips wrap around your own, his nose bumping into your cheek as he wraps an arm around your back, pushing you against the office doors. It’s all teeth and tongue, the clash of teeth and muffled groans leaving the both of you.

The suppression of both your desires falling between you two until you don’t stop to come up for air.

It’s addicting the way he kisses you, and you have to grip his shoulder as an anchor as he begins to trail his lips down your neck, sucking and nibbling at the skin there before dipping down to your clavicle.

You let out a moan as he blows cold air against the dip of your breasts, and Carmen looks down at you, his eyes heavy as he watches the way you shiver, waiting for him to give you what you want.

Carmen rips open your shirt, his eyes trailing across the curve and dip of your breasts, he mutters something under his breath, something like “beautiful” as his finger trailing the lace before unclipping it and tossing it behind him.

Carmen cups one of your breasts, circling your nipple before wrapping his lips around it and sucking, you arch your back to him, and he follows it until he rests and your hip, squeezing the skin there as his eyes roll back at the taste of you.

“Please..” You groan out, your eyes watching the way Carmen pressing soft circles into your skin, he looks up at you in confusion, the hint of a smile curving at his lips.

“Please what?” Carmen replies, sucking bruises beneath your tits, drawing it out on purpose, having too much fun watching you suffer.

“Nmfha” You mumble incoherently when Carmen flicks his tongue around your nipple, whilst squeezing the other in his cold hands.

“I can’t hear you, what do you want?” Carmen replies with a hint of a moan, he’s having trouble himself, bucking his hips up into you as he watches the way you shake from his lips

“Wanna feel you Carm, wanna taste you” You groan out with a moan, Carmen grunts at your response, his eyes growing dark and heavy, and in one swift move, he hoist you up and swipes the coffee mugs and papers left scattered across his desk before placing you on the edge.

You spread your thighs, making room for him and he steps between them.

“You wanna feel me sweet girl? You want me to take care of you? Please let me take care of you” Carmen pleads, rutting up against you as he tries to suppress the want pressing tight against his jeans.

“Carm” you groan out as Carmen tugs your jeans down leaving you in your lace underwear that Carmen grinds his jaw at, you don’t realise it but Carmen blue apron is discarded somewhere in the room, and as he carries you towards the coach you tug at his white shirt.

He rips it off him in one move, and you drag your fingers across the deep of defined muscle that flexes under your touch.

Carmen moves your thighs so that you're pushed towards the edge of the couch, and he kneels between you, pressing a soft kiss to your knee, before trailing up your thighs. Carmen had been teasing you before but now there is a frantic eagerness in the way he touches you, like if he doesn’t taste you on his tongue he might combust.

Carmen hooks a finger into your underwear,pulling them down until you were bare for him. Carmen’s eyes glisten as he states at you, naked under him and sweating. God the image imprints in his mind and he wishes he can stay here forever.

Carmen presses a soft kiss to the inside of your thigh, and your thighs shake in need, Carmen flicks his eyes up to you, and keeps eye contact, as he licks one long strip across your folds, closing his eyes and he groans at the taste of you. You contort you back at the pleasure the waves through you, eyes rolling back at the pressure of his tongue sucking your clit.

“Fucking- taste so” Carmen mumbles, before dipping his tongue between your folds, dragging it up and down, the sound of your heightened moans ripping through him.

Dipping his tongue in your hole, Carmen pushes a finger between your thighs, presses soft circles around your clit as his tongue works your folds. Your thighs shake around the curls of his head and he pushes a hand down at your stomach to stop you from moving, making you take every wave of pleasure he pulls from you.

“Carm, please, they’re going to hear us” You groan out, and Carmen shakes his head, causing his tongue to drive deeper into you, before looking up at you,

“Let them”

Carmen stretches you out with his tongue, pushing it into you and out until your heaving, his thumb is pressed against your clit, and he pushes a finger into you before sucking onto your bud.

You begin to see flashes of stars, as he thrusts a finger into your hole whilst sucking you, he scissors you open, curving his finger in a way that hits a particular spot that has you raising your hips, trying to pull yourself off of him, the white hot burn of pleasure getting too much.

“There baby? Right there?” Carmen groans out, thrusting his finger to hit that spot over and over

Carmen grips your hips, pushing you down, deeper, harder onto his mouth and fingers, pressing a second digit into you as he curves it to pull that sweet moan from your lips.

Carmen had many names, but his favourite was the broken syllabus of his own between your lips when you fell apart on his tongue.

“S’ close, so close Carmy, please” You babble out, before resigning yourself to the burn of pleasure the feels like fucking nirvana, it’s all around you, Carmen, this pleasure, it’s all you can taste.

“I know baby, I know, I’m going to take care of you okay, sweet girl?” Carmen groans, thrusting his hips into the floor, searching for friction as he watches the way your eyes roll back.

Carmen laps at your core, pushing the digits deeper, curving them upwards until you were screaming, he pushes your face down to look at him, he wants to see your face as you fall apart, and the coil that has begun to wrap itself tight snaps when he nibbles at your over sensitive clit and you see the way his dark eyes watch you, his eyebrows furrowed and your slick coats his chin.

You can’t feel anything but the white hot pleasure that rocks through you, you aren’t in your body, floating away in the pure saccharine pleasure of Carmen’s tongue and he laps at the pleasure dripping between your folds.

You mumble incoherent words, the only thing leaving your lips is Carmen’s name as you babble, spit dripping from your open mouth as you're left in a heap, Carmen leaving you dumb.

Carmen works you through your release, licking and sucking at your sweet slick that he gathers on his tongue. You see the way he thrusts into the carpet, trying to find friction as the scene in front of him becomes too much.

The thought splits something within you, seeing how Carmen got off to getting you off was out of this world, causing the pleasure to start building in your core again.

You drag Carmen up to meet your lips, and then push his tongue between your lips, causing you to taste him on your tongue. Carmen pushes his finger between his lips, sucking on the shine of slick coated there, his eyes heavy as he watches the way you grind your hips against him.

He pushes his digits into your mouth, groaning at the way you suck on them eagerly. You push him to lean his back against the coach, before manoeuvring your hips to straddle him.

You rock your hips against his jeans, feeling the way the indent pushes and bumps against your core, Carmen throws his head back, his curls falling over his forehead and he grabs your hips, pushing you deeper, down down down until he is thrusting up into you.

You grip his shoulders raising your hips before pulling his jeans and boxers down in one swift motion. Carmen forces himself to look down at you, his gaze watching the way you tug at his length, swiping a thumb across the red tip, dragging pre cum down the thick girth of him.

Carmen groans out, gripping your hips tight, and you raise up, lining yourself perfectly before sinking down on him.

Carmen’s groans are beautiful, rumbling from his chests as he squeezes his eyes shut, you fit so perfectly around him, the heat and warmth and slick of you wrapped tight around his cock. His length is thick and girth, and you have to adjust to his size, moaning at the way he fills you up just right.

As you begin to move, Carmen presses a hand, begging for you to wait

“Just, one second, fuck you feel so good I might cum from one thrust”

“Who says this is a one time thing?” You reply with a wicked smile, and Carmen groans loud at that.

You raise your hips, dragging your self on him before sliding down, your grind against him and he heaves in the pleasure of your tightness around him.

It had been so long, and the feeling of you is almost too much.

You struggle to raise your hips high enough, and Carmen wraps his hands tight around your hips before raising you himself, driving himself up into you and thrusting hard.

This new angle allows him to go deeper, and you meet his upward thrusts, groaning out as he fucks you dumb. You look gorgeous above him, the way your tits bounce with every thrust up has him hard all over again.

“Just like that baby girl, keep going, doing so fucking well, my baby” Carmen groans out, and you begin to shake at the combination of his praise the the feeling of his cock driving into you impossibly deep.

You want to make him feel good and you say this to him, causing his eyes to roll back when you squeeze yourself around him, hard, until his thrusts have to drive into you even harder.

The coach freaks loudly from Carmen’s pace, and he slams you down, positioning his cock deep into you, causing you to press half circles into your shoulder, scratching at his biceps and gripping the nape of his hair that causes him to rumble out your moaned name.

You can feel him getting close, his thrust growing sloppy and deep, you tighten around him, and his eyes are in a trance, watching the way you fit around him so perfectly.

Carmen moves to fold himself upright against you, and your eyes roll back to your head as you feel yourself climb up a familiar peak.

Carmen presses a hard kiss against your lips as you groan out, and as he slips a hand into your conjoined bodies, circling your clit you have to shove your fist into your hand to stop from screaming.

The feel of Carmen’s length driving into you and the sound of his ragged moans, mixed with the over stimulation against your clit, you can’t help but fall apart around his cock.

You squeeze yourself tight around Carmen, and he cries out, his thrusts growing slow as he joins you over the cliff, his cock thrusting up into you with spasms. His cheeks are a blush red, his tongue poking out as he follows both of your orgasms.

You fall against his chest, exhausted, pressing your cheek so that it rested against the hard muscle of his pecs. You swallow back a breath, gripping your hand around Carmen’s, as he brings it up to place a soft kiss.

Your thighs are still shaking from stimulation, and Carmen caresses a hand across them, rubbing soft circles and you lay across his chest.

You stay like this for a moment, basking in the bliss of pleasure and sex and the soft curves and dips of your bodies.

After a bit, Carmen has to slip his out cock from your thighs, eyes fixated on the way your ecstasy mixed with his one drips down your thighs.

“Fucking gorgeous” Carmen replies, and you look up at him in surprise

“What? You don’t think I'll find you gorgeous after this?” Carmen smiles down at your flustered state, he brushes back the sweat and tears dripping down your cheeks.

“That was..you are. Well fuck, Carmen, why didn’t this happen sooner?” You reply, he manoeuvres you so that your legs lay across his thighs.

“Yeah, uh, we’ll I’ve got a whole bucket of shit you don’t want dragging you down” Carmen replies scratching his neck, suddenly more shy as he lay his heart bare to you.

“Yeah, we’ll you gave me no choice when you practically murdered that man” You reply, biting back a smile, as you press soft circles around his thumb.

“Should’ve fucking murdered him…”

“What happens now?” Carmen replies, looking at you nervous that this was you just scratching an itch, because he was head over heels in love with you and he would never recover

“God Carmen, you didn’t realise I’m in love with you already?” You reply with a smile, “Practically the entire restaurant does”

Carmen looks up at you in wonder, his eyebrows furrowing as your words hit him hard. You loved him? You loved him. He wants you to repeat it a hundred times, he wants to hear your tongue say those words to him again.

“You are incomparable” Carmen mutters under his breath, before wrapping you tight against his chest, pressing a kiss that feels different now, less crazed and rushed and fueled by heated passion. It was new, it felt like a start of something.

“You think they’re okay out there?” You reply with a start.

“Hell no” Carmen replies, and you can’t help but laugh as you push your head through a shirt Carmen had passed to you.

You and Carm may have just confessed your love to one another, but you still had a goddamn restaurant to run.

4K notes · View notes

rileyslibrary · 1 year

Note

I love your sense of humour and have cracked up at your stories multible times. Maby you can find some inspiration in this:

Price ordering the team to an etiquette training so they know how to behave in case they have to go under cover in a more "fancy" environment (or the upcoming mission may require something like this). I'm thinking about Ghosts "sausage fingers" from the origami bit on a delicate litte cake fork... Or him needing to *converse* with someone.

I think putting these hard soldiers in a situation that's out of their comfort zone is always a fun read!

Thank you for letting us enjoy your fantastic writing! <3

Be gentle, man!

Relationship: TF141 x F!Reader with a potential Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader (platonic?) on the horizon. Also there’s an OC in the story.

Word Count: 1,598 (approx. 7-8 min reading time)

Notes: I began writing this last night as a joke, and couldn’t stop. Thank you SO MUCH for inspiring me to do this, anon. It’s a crackfic btw. (There’s a part 2 now here)

———————————————————————

The training room feels out of place compared to its usual purpose. Bathed in the soft glow of candlelight, the once-busy gym has been transformed into a classroom for an unlikely lesson—manners, of all things. Table manners, to be precise.

“Talk about Fitness Vs. Finesse,” Soap whispers, and you playfully nudge his side. The comment reaches Gaz’s ears, and he lets out a chuckle. Yet, Price’s death stare reclaims your attention and brings you back to focus.

You all sit around a long, polished mahogany table atop the gym’s boxing ring, admiring the delicate china and crystal glassware set before you. It reminds you of Aunt Claire’s preserved collection, which rarely leaves its cabinet. Lady Theodora, your etiquette instructor, assures you that each piece serves a purpose, and you will put them all to use. Every. Single. One of them.

Lady Theodora, the epitome of timeless confidence, moves gracefully around the table. Her silver hair is slicked back, framing a face that exudes years of wisdom and experience. Her Bordeaux-coloured shawl billows behind her as she glides, catching the gentle breeze her steps create. She pauses behind Price’s chair and reveals the reason behind today’s masterclass: an undercover operation.

“In the world of espionage, where appearances can mean the difference between life and death,” she says in a soft voice, “the art of etiquette becomes a weapon, a shield, and,” she concludes, resting her hand on Price’s shoulder, “your ticket to survival.”

“Bollocks.”

All eyes are drawn to the far end of the table, where a shadowy figure prefers to go unnoticed but isn’t afraid to express doubts. The only visible sign of life is a hand fidgeting with the butterknife.

“I beg your pardon, Lieutenant.” Lady Theodora says, and Ghost leans forward, revealing his unmasked—and visibly annoyed—face.

“We’re soldiers, not knights,” he claims. “Teaching us how to use all these,” he says, motioning to the various utensils before him, “is a waste of time, both yours and mine.”

Lady Theodora regards him gently as if looking at a child throwing a tantrum. She smiles and walks behind him, gripping the back of his chair.

“You seem quite certain of your own competence and doubtful of mine, Mr Riley,” she says, amused.

Ghost tilts his head to the side, partially facing her.

“With all due respect, Lady Theodora,” he replies, “I don’t believe you fully comprehend how such missions operate.”

Lady Theodora lets a light chuckle as she moves closer to Ghost’s face.

“My record of 25 confirmed kills, three of which were accomplished with a butterknife like the one in your hand, might suggest otherwise,” she admits. “Now, would you kindly move your seat forward, Lieutenant? I’ll show you how to act like a proper gentleman.”

Ghost’s Adam’s apple bobbles as he swallows hard. He returns the butterknife to its original position and pushes his chair forward with Lady Theodora’s help.

Gaz clears his throat and looks at Soap.

“Imagine her dinner parties,” he whispers so Price doesn’t hear him, “they must be perfectly executed.”

“Bet she makes a killer soufflé,” Soap whispers back.

You look at them and mutter, “You two are beyond help.” Unfortunately, it’s your own comment that catches Price’s attention this time, and he gives you a stern warning to behave.

“Let’s get started,” Lady Theodora says. “Projecting confidence and grace requires proper posture: sit up straight, shoulders back, and imagine a string pulling you upward from the crown of your head.”

You all adjust your posture, attempting to imitate Lady Theodora. Ghost used to a more relaxed posture, finds it difficult to maintain the required formality. His broad shoulders hunch forward, and he struggles to keep his legs straight.

“Excellent,” Lady Theodora remarks, catching Ghost’s struggle but choosing not to comment further. “Next, we shall delve into the art of dining. Each utensil on the table has a specific purpose, and it is essential to use them correctly.”

She points to the array of utensils laid out before you. Multiple forks, knives, and spoons of various sizes and shapes make the sight overwhelming.

“The outermost utensils are for the earlier courses, while the inner ones are for the later ones.” Lady Theodora says, “It’s like unwrapping a gift, one course at a time.”

You all nod and place the napkin on your lap to begin the process.

Ghost’s ingrained military habits take over when food is served, causing him to devour it quickly. He shovels forkfuls of food into his mouth without looking up and barely pausing to chew.

“Mr Riley,” Lady Theodora addresses Ghost, who shoots his head up to look at her. “I understand the military inclination to eat fast, but we must remember that the food isn’t going anywhere. Take your time, savour each bite, and enjoy your meal, please.”

“Sorry ’bout that.” Ghost mumbles with his mouth full.

Lady Theodora raises an eyebrow. “Mr Riley, it is impolite to speak with your mouth full,” she reminds him. “Please, swallow your food before continuing.”

Ghost swallows and clears his throat. “Apologies, Lady Theodora,” he mutters.

Lady Theodora smiles and nods at Ghost’s response. “Very well, Lieutenant Riley,” she says. “Remember, dining is about more than just the food; it’s also about the company and the experience.”

As the training continues, you witness Soap’s attempts to initiate a proper conversation, only to subconsciously bring up military strategies. Gaz, on the other hand, struggles with small talk and, when asked about his hobbies, blurts out his love of explosions.

“Kerosene is one hell of a—”

“No kerosene talk on the table, Sergeant,” Lady Theodora interrupts. “How about we talk about something more appropriate, like, for example, what did you do today?”

“You’re not going to like it.” He replies.

“Did it involve kerosene?” She asks and receives multiple excited nods from Gaz.

Ghost forgets about his napkin while using the finger bowl and instinctively flicks his hands to dry them. Droplets of water scatter across the table, and Lady Theodora steps forward with a calm smile. She retrieves his napkin and hands it to him. “Remember, Lieutenant,” she whispers, “the napkin is your ally.”

Throughout this ordeal, Price seems to be the only one who already has a natural fluidity in his movements. Like he already knows about etiquette.

You compliment his impeccable manners, but Lady Theodora intervenes before Price can respond.

“Oh, that’s because the Captain already received my services a few years ago,” she reveals, winking.

Price, caught off guard, coughs and sputters, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. After regaining his composure, he clears his throat and grins.

“Yes, well, Lady Theodora’s guidance has been, um, invaluable,” he manages to say and lowers his gaze to his plate. Gaz raises an eyebrow, and Soap gives a sly smile.

With the etiquette training completed, Price gracefully positions his utensils on his plate and folds his napkin. Lady Theodora hands him a file stack, which he distributes to you.

“These files contain detailed background information for your assigned roles,” he explains. “Study them carefully; familiarise yourselves with the personas you will embody, and don’t worry; with Lady Theodora’s help, you’ll have plenty of time to learn how to carry yourselves.”

He watches you all as you take hold of your respective files, scanning the pages and absorbing the details that will shape your performances.

“Gaz, within those pages, you’ll uncover the roadmap to shape your tech persona, along with essential contacts and valuable industry insights,” Price declares.

“A startup entrepreneur,” Gaz mutters and nods, “nice.”

“Soap,” Price continues, “your file contains the lineage and history of an alleged oil tycoon family; you’ll assume the identity of their sole son and heir to the business.”

“Why do I get the oil-moneyed spoiled brat?” Soap protests, “Gaz is the one obsessed with fossil fuel!”

Price looks at Lady Theodora, silently begging her to take the lead.

“Focus on embodying the demeanour of an heir, Sergeant MacTavish,” she comforts Soap. “Acquiring in-depth knowledge of the business is not a top priority now.”

Finally, Price shifts his focus to you and Ghost. His voice softens, and a smile appears on his lips.

“As for the two of you,” he says, “your assignment requires a convincing portrayal of a couple.”

You and Ghost exchange a brief look before returning your focus to the files in your hands.

“Laswell will provide you with a forged marriage certificate and photos of your alleged relationship,” Price continues. “The documents will serve as tangible proof if the need to validate your connection arises.”

“Any chance to let us know who or what we’re after?” Gaz asks, and Price shakes his head.

“Baby steps, Sergeant; we’re waiting for Laswell to give us more intel,” he explains, “but as far as we know, we’re dealing with people who can buy their way out of some very sketchy shit.”

“Language, Captain.” Lady Theodora reminds him.

“Please accept my sincere apologies, Theodora,” he says and turns to Gaz. “I meant sketchy things, Sergeant.”

As they continue discussing the mission, your mind wanders on the latest information. Ghost’s partner? How? You look at the file and then back at Ghost. You see Lady Theodora walking behind Ghost’s chair and leaning close to his ear. She looks at you and whispers to him.

“I told you, Lieutenant,” she says, “I’ll mould you into a proper gentleman.”

Ghost turns to face you as well. “I’m afraid that’s impossible, Lady Theodora,” he replies.

But Lady Theodora smiles and touches his shoulder, “Oh, you’ll see, Mr Riley—you’re my gift to unwrap, one course at a time.”

———————————————————————

Part 2 ->

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randomness-is-my-order · 5 months

Text

the pjo show’s cinematography is so warm and homey and clever and detail-oriented so i wanna compile a few of my favourite still shots because why not??

^this one had me smiling so hard, not because it’s a particularly beautiful shot but the framing of the three is so well done. the focus is on sally who is talking to grover (both prominently in the front of the shot) while percy – who isn’t a part of the conversation but a listener of it – is still properly visible through the glass of the door and like??? i just think it’s a super cool way of having a passive character in the shot that i haven’t ever seen before, in a way that percy is both highlighted and still so clearly in the background that it doesn’t take away from the focus characters. also percy’s sweater matching the colours on the door is the cherry on top!!

^next is this one. it’s so perfectly angsty and though not complete, the symmetry is still eye-catching. it encapsulates the feeling percy must experience in that moment–him, amidst destruction, knowing he’s the cause but not knowing how or why. he looks all of twelve with his haphazard hoodie and almost forlorn look. he is not gloating, he is not cheerful. though he doesn’t know the gravity of his parentage, it’s almost like the show is telling us that his powers–which cause the door to break, too btw–will always be a source of isolation for percy. he is a force of nature, a destructive one most of the time, and the fact that he is just a child who is confused will never matter because this world doesn’t care for childhood but godhood alone.

idk, this shot just evokes a very unsettling kind of sadness for me. i think it’s beautifully framed.

^i absolutely love this one simply for the fact that the sheer struggle of the fight is so prominently visible. and yes, i cheated, this isn’t exactly a still shot but like an action sequence screenshot but whatever, it’s too good to not mention it here. the way percy is, honest to gods, bracing against the spear for his dear life, the evident and overwhelming rage on clarisse’s face, the blocking of the scene – it’s perfect. clarisse is not playing and percy is genuinely in danger and i love how this shot and the whole scene really sold us on that fact.

^ i just think it’s extremely cool that we can see the minotaur howling in pain, percy having his mouth wide open as if he’s letting out a yell as he goes to plunge the horn and that as percy does this act–killing the minotaur–which is surefire source of safeguarding himself and grover, something that will get him to camp, we can see thalia’s tree in the background. there is no reason percy had to make the kill here, with the chaos of the fight, so the fact that this is the spot and this is the shot as he kills the minotaur makes me think it’s deliberate. having thalia in the background is so impactful because again, percy could have met a similar fate in some other alternate universe but here, he wins and he survives.

^ do i even need to explain??? the shot is pretty and beautiful and almost magical. percy, alone with a tin of fire, burning blue food and talking to his mother. maybe one thing i can point out is that the sally-percy bond has been heavily indicated through glowing lights since the start. if you recall, the “you are not broken” speech by sally was given in front of the warm, glowing headlights of the car and percy’s face was illuminated by that warmth just the same way it is illuminated by the tin-fire in the forest.

^ first, this is too fucking gorgeous. second, percy is wearing his red jacket again and this dream happened after he reached camp so in my opinion, this dream was initially a comfortable imagining of percy’s mind and was then hijacked by kronos but i could be wrong since i don’t clearly remember how they manifested in the books originally. nevertheless, it’s a great detail to have him wear the red jacket because even if he may not have it with him anymore, it’s still clearly something he holds dear – and might associate sally’s memories with.

also, the fact that percy seems to have alot of scenes with fire might be because as someone who can control water, fire can never truly be a source of danger for him and therefore, he can find comfort in its warmth unhindered, always?

^ how could i not love this epic moment? the trident is perfect, big and blue and grand and majestic. half the screen is water, obviously. but what makes this good shot a great one is that there is literally no one else directly near percy except annabeth. the campers are all far away and in this shot itself only annabeth remains close to percy, though she is fittingly on the land, observing the scene before her. remember how i said percy’s legacy promises isolation but this shot tells me that despite that, percy will have someone who he can count on to be by his side (also cool that even in the bathroom, annabeth was technically still near him, even if she was, well, stalking him) and maybe this is my delusional ass talking, but annabeth being here is foreshadowing for me. i just think it’s a choice to have this epic revelation where they could easily have had percy standing alone in the middle of the lake but no, annabeth is also there and not only because she’s the one who led to that revelation but because she’s someone who isn’t intimidated by percy’s parentage and still can be beside him.

^ i adore this shot because 1) it shows us just how young and tiny percy is and 2) it tells us that maybe that door is so fucking huge because it’s being inclusive of centaurs and other giants of their world. also, symmetry strikes again!!! the colours are so well balanced, not bright and vibrant but on the pastel side that indicates an aged feel to them.

and lastly,

^ i just find it funny that a private academy like yancy has an official vehicle that looks as beat up and terribly malfunctioning as this. 😭 like this half van was so out of place i literally goggled at the screen when it first appeared.

okay, i’m done for now. i also really liked the faceless sally scene in the start paralleling medusa’s eventual beheading but i already made a post about it. this legitmately only covers about 10% of the shots i wanted to talk about but these might be my favourites. this was long af so if you read the whole thing, mad respect to you.

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #percy pjo #pjo #pjo fandom #pjo series #pjo tv show #pjo tv adaptation #walker scobell #pjo tv series #leah jeffries #cinemetography #direction #pjo tv spoilers #annabeth percy jackson #percabeth

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yandereend · 19 days

Text

Yandere King x gn reader

The meeting

Tw: implied noncon, age gap, king is an delulu

Btw English is not my native language so please keep that in mind

P. 1 ? (let me if I should write more of the king)

The crown sat heavy on your head , it was no easy feat to carry it even outside of your royal duties but your dear husband just loves to see you in it. And he didn’t made your collar match your crown for nothing, right?

So here you are sitting on your king size bed with your king or rather husband reading one of his favorite romance novels. Until he suddenly kisses you on the cheek and asks:

Do you remember when we meet …I see it clear as day my darling.

You remember it, just clearly not as fondly. It was on your first week in the castle, even though you came from a poor family you showed your ambition and determination to everyone in your village until you finally landed that one job interview in the castle. Your days were long and the work was hard but you pushed through sending the money you could spare to your family.

One day while gathering the old clothes from the royal chambers you got your first glance at the king. He was a strong man in his late thirties, you finally understood what everyone was going on about with him. He was clearly the most handsome man you have ever seen muscular, the right bit hairy and not quite as pale as the other royals.

Oh my god …

That moment he shuffled on his bed opening his hazel eyes to look into your (your eye colour) ones as you collected his clothes from the floor. You quickly looked away not realizing how is eyes were pinned on your body the whole time you nervously tried to do your work.

„Im sorry for disturbing you your majesty. It’s not going to happen again.“

You rushed out while trying to hide your embarrassment over the whole situation. At least you have something to tell your friends and family on your next visit to your village, you thought.

Oh, if only you knew at that time that family and friends were a thing of the past, Edward was already planning on courting you as his new queen. The man as heartless as he seemed was a romantic since his childhood loosing himself in the fairytales he loved so much. He always hoped to slay a dragon or climb a tower to prove his love, but instead he got handed the first princess his father could thought of.

But killing the queen in the your name would surely prove his love.

And Edward was not a man of empty promises.

Thanks for reading its one of my first works so please have mercy 🙏

#yandere fic #yandere intro #yandere imagines #yandere king #yandere husband #yandere fiction #yandere community #obsessive yandere #yandere x reader #yandere core #soft yandere #yandere writing #yandere smut #yandere fanfiction #yandere male #yandere fantasy #yandere love #yandere stories

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justcallmesakira · 4 months

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hihihihi AUGH i love ur work sm?!! omg if u can fyodor with a younger sister (she has the same level of intelligence of him and works in the doa and his organaization) who is dating dazai? :) I know there are some but i need crack and suggestive!!1

ty and er bye good luck take ur time!

"Fyodor with a sister dating Dazai''

Sypnosis: Your rat brother is anything but happy about the fact that you are dating his only enemy on earth! Good luck on surviving!!!

Genre: crack, suggestive at the end

Warnings: bombing, terrorizz, , mentions of maniupulative behaviour, mentions of verlaine, roblox radgoll, loads of simping words, me being down bad, making out (lol), your mom

A/N: my reqs are currently closed but ehhhh who cares lol also THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE HONESTLY- pls enjoy and reblog i tried my best--- *dies of mental ilness*

How bro-

JUST HOW DID U DO THAT W/O HIM BLASTING DAZAIS INTERNAL ORGANS? 🤯🤯🤯

No bcs fyodor did not even plan to let u meet dazai but ofcourse bcs of the dead apple tower and stuff and since then he had completly fallen inlove with you whether you are dostoevskys sister or not

He prob asked u to do a waltz with him in the mukokukokurokito or whatver the phuck that towers name was when you entered the castle with your brother

Fyodor WAS NOT happy because he saw the flirty glint in dazais eyes when u came

If looks cold kill-.. (KILL ME, RUSSIAN ZADD😍😍---)

And all you went was giggles and flirting back

Fyodor is prob gonna get his own medicine bcs they two are so like each other??? but he still couldnt believe how you with such high intelligence could fall for him???

(fyodor take your anemic medication first)

Dazai obv had some skeptics after you but like the manwhore he is and prob slept with the entierty of yokohama! ofc hes gonna court you as if you might not just use him!!!

Very (not) normal behaviour indeed!!

HELP YOU KNOW THAT ONE INDIAN RIZZLER VS. UWU CAT??? HES LITERLY THAT BUT

Dazai: "I fucked your sister she be screaming high pitch😈" fyodor: "What did you say, you little child i will crush your skull 😡😡😡should have known when i smile, I also play cello, i can be anything Уву"

that was UWU in russian btw-

But in all serious he will try maniupultaing you or gaslighting you into leaving dazai, he cant leave his only family to a man he does not trust! fyodor doesnt even trust himself-

fyodors gonna act a bit more colder then usual bcs of the fact HIS sister is dating someone and that someone is his enemy

Honeslty you go up to say chuuya whos like "why do i get deja vu-" *flashback to verlaine* you: "First time?"

But ofc since you are also extremely smart you somehow convinced him (after playing roblox radgoll with him for 8 hours) to let you atleast join date with dazai

I bet you rizzed up dazai by "He said his favourite colour was blue, so i blew him up😍💣"

*insert proud brother noises*

He speaks in russian or any slavic language whenever you three are in a gathering to mostly embarress dazai

I have seen some hcs on dazai being a collarbone biter so if you were off shoulder shirts and fyodor sees them by chance hes going to glare at you as if you are covered in mud :33

"Sister,,,what. is. that." *nasty side eye to the love bite on your neck*

Dazai 100% one time randomly pulled you into the alley and started aggresively making out with you with his hands literly sprawling all over your body like hes daddy long legs or sth-

Bcs HE KNEW that fyodor had cctv set in that part of the city and fyodor would be raging at the fact that the sluttiest man is touching his precious sister like that

bros gonna forgot abt human rights- oh wait hes russian

IF HE EVER CATCHES YOU TWO THO--

Like making out on some bed or sth hes actually no LIKE ACTUALLY GOING TO throw a whole ass cabinet at dazai with a face full of nothing but malice-

"How dare, an inhuman animal like you touch my very sister" "BRO CHILL I AM YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW--"

And your just trying to stop your brother from commiting murder even though that his hobby ^^

fyodor finally forgot he had anemia bcs now all his focus was to give dazai the most painful death know to the medieval period\

Good luck on stoping your brother from poking a fork in your lovers eye in family dinners!!

A/N: guys ik i am doing the valentines req pls be patient i am trying my best!! i have a relly bad mental health rn so yeahhh-

Divider crds!: @cafekitsune

tags! @silverbladexyz @biscuits-lovely-corner @riiwrites @heartsfourdazai @tojifile @atsquie @atlasnessie @chuuyasboner @yosanosboner @ruanais @darling--angst

#bungou stray dogs #sakira!#bsd #bsd x reader #dazai #dazai x reader #crack #bsd stuff #bsd hcs #fyozai x reader #fyodor x reader x dazai #fyodor with a sister #fyodor x sister reader #dazai fyodors sister #enemies and lovers #overprotective brothers #sakiras writing notebook!!!

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whyse7vn · 6 months

Text

SHIPPED -

[ot7 x reader]

TAEHYUNG -

tae: pop quiz should i kill myself?

y/n: please

tae: knew it

you fucking hate me and you ARE in love with that mingi guy

y/n: mingi

tae: it’s okay baby no need to apologise i know how crazy fans can get and i know you love me and me ONLY

not mingi

come here let’s cuddle (fuck)

y/n: k

tae: wait 😭😭😭

baby you forgot you apologise

y/n: for what

tae: mingi

they are shipping you with mingi

i can’t even say his name

y/n: you’ve said his name like four times already

tae: ok but i threw up every time

y/n: but you still said his name?

tae: what is your problem

y/n: i miss mingi i’m sorry

i get mad when i don’t see my man for a while

tae: aw babe 🥰

come over

y/n: did you even read what i said?

tae: i’m depressed

y/n: cool don’t care ur not mingi

tae: i could be

y/n: no you couldn’t

tae: ok but

y/n: but?

tae: nothing

y/n: that’s what i thought

loser

tae: don’t call me that

yk it gets me hot and bothered

y/n: are you horny or depressed

tae: don’t ask me stupid questions wtf

ofc i’m horny 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

do you want to fuck?

say yes

y/n: saying no

tae: ok wtf

you really are with mingi aren’t you

y/n: yeah

tae: babe

ur changing i can’t stand this my heart can’t take this damage and the way i feel can’t stand this mmmmm baby i don’t understand this

y/n: did you just sing xxxtentacion lyrics to me

tae: he gets me

y/n: ok

tae: you don’t get me

y/n: thank god

tae: ok now say omg tae ur the only one for me not that moji guy

y/n: moji?

tae: motor?

y/n: ?

tae: mistletoe????

y/n: what

tae: minion

y/n: mingi?

tae: mitochondria

y/n: mingi.

tae: microscope

y/n: it’s mingi

tae: no i think it’s misconstruction

y/n: what do you want from me rn

tae: tell miscarriage to fuck off

y/n: i literally met him once

tae: so???

he wants you

i know it

all the shippers know it

and all these STUPID edits know it

delete his number now

y/n: i don’t even have his number

tae: oh

ok then

y/n: yeah

tae: so like

y/n: don’t ask me anything stupid

tae: thoughts on iceland banning the colour green

y/n: you just made that up

why

ur so strange

tae: babe can i sing for you again

ik u love it when i sing

y/n: leave me alone tae

tae: do you let michael sing to you???

not jackson btw

cuz he’s like dead

y/n: would you like to join him

tae: mingloo or michael jackson???

pls be more specific babe

hey

where did you go

seen?????

ur leaving me on seen are you fr????

ok at least it’s not delivered

or a block like last time

ur real mean yk

at least i know my worlds are getting to you

now let me sing ok?

it might seem crazy what i am 'bout to say

sunshine she's here you can take a break

i'm a hot air balloon that could go to space

ok why did my messages go green

i’m blocked

again

hahahahahaha

cheating fuck

FUCK YOU AND MINTY

SEOKJIN -

jin: the way i don’t even care

y/n: what

jin: i don’t care

y/n: idk this song i’m sorry

jin: i’m not singing

y/n: oh

jin: can he cook

y/n: who

jin: ur mc buddy

y/n: minghao?

jin: yeah

ur new boyfriend can he cook better than me?

no nvm

don’t tell me i don’t even care

not one bit not even two bits

y/n: okay?

jin: no it’s not ok

what about this is ok

OH WOW UR NEW BOYFRIEND IS 26 I DONT EVEN CARE

y/n: why are you shouting at me

jin: I DON’T CARE

LOOK AT ME DOES IT LOOK LIKE I EVEN CARE

y/n: lowkey

jin: he can’t cook

look at his fingers they look weak

a man with weak fingers can’t cook

y/n: ur so right

jin: yeah i know

so can he cook?

y/n: idk babe

jin: why don’t you know

y/n: because i don’t

jin: he’s your man says twitter

you should know these things

y/n: is this you jealous rn?

jin: i don’t even care what are you talking about

y/n: my fault i thought you cared for a second

jin: well i don’t

do you have his number

y/n: yeah

jin: don’t care

y/n: u sure?

jin: whatever man

he was weak fingers

he looks like he has a lisp does he have a lisp?

y/n: no??

jin: yes he does

stupid lispy bitch

y/n: SEOKJIN DONT BE MEAN

lisps are cute

jin: do you like his lisp?

bet you wanna kiss him every time he speaks

bet he’s all like “i theriously thlipping love thew” all in ur ear

and u blush so bad

y/n: LAMSOSOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

jin: i don’t care take ur 26 year old lisp bitch

y/n: all this because of a few stupid shippers?

jin: he looks at you a lot

and you look at him

A LOT

there are so many videos

you look at him like you wanna get him pregnant

y/n: what the fuck

jin: you should only look at me like that

y/n: i’m sorry????

jin: i don’t care for your sorry

or this situation

or that ur new man is 26

i don’t CARE

y/n: ok baby

jin: if i smoked i would light a cigarette rn

y/n: i believe you

jin: good

would be like a chain smoker rn

y/n: i believe you baby

jin: and i’m not talking about that little emo band thing or whatever

y/n: didn’t think you were

jin: me

cuz i’m i’m a chain smoker in spirit

y/n: !!!

jin: girlfriend

y/n: boyfriend

jin: ….

so like i’m gonna be honest

y/n: ok

jin: i do care

y/n: no way

jin: ik it’s hard to believe cuz i’m a good actor and all

y/n: naturally

jin: but wow why is he looking at you like he needs to be inside of you

y/n: ok ew?

jin: right i was thinking the same thing

y/n: why would you say that

jin: WHY WOULD HE LOOK AT YOU LIKE THAt?????????

y/n: let’s end this conversation

jin: let’s end his life

y/n: gn jin

jin: think about it

y/n: no

jin: when he looks at you do you feel uncomfortable

y/n: i’m uncomfortable rn

jin: OHMYGOD IS HE WITH YOU

IS HE LOOKING????

BABE TELL ME

y/n: no

jin: i’m literally a chain smoker

in spirit

cuz smoking ages you

look at jungkook 26 looking 206

y/n: goodnight jin

jin: so is ur new man with u or not??

y/n: no jin

goodnight

jin: good i didn’t even care anyways

YOONGI -

yoongi: fuck you

you know what you did

y/n: contrary to popular belief i am unfortunately not all knowing nor am i a mind reader

yoongi: kill yourself

y/n: full of love and joy today i see <3

yoongi: do you know

how may edits i’ve seen of that one clip of you and soobin

why is he smiling so hard at you???

tf is his issue

ur not fucking funny at all trust me i know

and you look really good

why are you looking good around other people???

and WHY did you touch him

and why the fuck did he blush so hard?

you need to kill yourself it’s the only option

y/n: strange way of telling me ur deeply in love with me but i’ll take it

yoongi: kill yourself

y/n: WAIT WDYM IM NOT FUNNY

yoongi: am i laughing rn?

y/n: okay that’s not how being funny works

it comes naturally

yoongi: naturally it doesn’t come to you and that’s fine

y/n: yes it does

soobin thinks i’m funny

and so does everyone else

yoongi: soobin doesn’t count cuz he’s a loser

he was also looking at ur tits the whole time i would be smiling if ur tits were in my face too

and everyone else? yeah shut up

ur not funny and that’s ok

y/n: HE WAS NOT

just ur a sick pervert doesn’t mean every man i come into contact is as well

soobin is a nice respectful young man

and are you trying to say my only personality trait is my tits????

that’s real fucked up actually!!!

yoongi: i mean it’s not ur humour thats for sure

y/n: and you think ur comedian of the year?

yoongi: i pull my weight

y/n: YOONGI

baby

babe

be fr

i’m the funny one in this relationship and that’s ok

your good at other things

yoongi: that’s crazy

we must be a really unfunny couple then yikes

y/n: what is ur beef?

yoongi: you and soobin

y/n: soobin is a baby to me

there is no me and soobin

yoongi: yeah ok

he’s 6 ft yk?

y/n: i know

stood next to him

yoongi: did you compare hand sizes

y/n: are you calling me a whore?

yoongi: is he funny?

y/n: yoongi

yoongi: is he funnier than me??

y/n: no yoongi

yoongi: wow that’s insane thought i wasn’t funny??????

soobin must have the personality of a fucking rock then

y/n: rolling my eyes real hard rn

yoongi: is he a good kisser?

y/n: ok now ur being ridiculous

yoongi: you touched his arm

y/n: he’s suit was fucked up

yoongi: have you imagined him in a wedding suit

y/n: what

yoongi: was his skin soft when you touched him

y/n: again he was wearing suit didn’t feel his skin at all

yoongi: bet you wanted to

y/n: ur impossible actually

incoming FaceTime call from yoongi :3

yoongi: answer me

y/n: are you going to apologise for telling me to kms

yoongi: no

want to see ur pretty face tho

answer pls

y/n: why would i answer after that

yoongi: pls

y/n: you want me so bad

yoongi: me or soobin?

y/n: …

yoongi: ok sorry

answer :3

JUNGKOOK -

jk: hey can wonbin do a kick flip?

y/n: idk probably

jk: wkjsjsjxjdjswiiwskdkekekdkwkke KSSKXKSKSKSKCKDMDKDJDJSKDKKKWOQWOSODKDKSKDKDJEKDKDKSKDDKDKDKKDKSKDKDKDKDKKCKMDKDCDKDKDKKDKDKFDKDKKDKDKDDKKDDKDKDKDKKDKDKDKDDJDKDKKDKDKDKDKSKDKDKDKDKDKKDKDKDDKKDDKDKDKFKDKDKDKAKS/@@:@;’ wmkdkdkdkdkd sskskdk kddkmdmdmdxm-@/29/929920//09/9/9:9

y/n: woah ok?

you don’t even skate why does this matter?

jk: exactly

y/n: i’m not following

jk: do you know his songs?

y/n: pulling back the sirennnnnnnnnnnn

jk:😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

y/n: ??

you literally asked me to? why are you crying

jk: do you have his number?

y/n: yeah

jk: /‘sjdjdjcjkdidfkckkdkfkdkdk&/&&/&/8/88/8/8/8/88/8818:’snn@2@:’dndn’dmn**$*****$\$$\$$€!!!!’annanjjjsnsnsndjxjxjjxjjxjzjj&/&:&:&/&7(7(7(7(&?&!@!@)&();6;6:5;7)&??,(:3-;:&)9!£0£@!&()::54:(,£,&?@£9£0&0£9£9£9)&(7;5:437)&££9&9)@(7(7(6(£?&!9&0@!’ b gxfxgxgstdgcnjhkbvkhnb hchdtsrdhchvkhopjpjojonobkvjbjvgihighij

y/n: jungkook…

jk: has he ever looked you in the eyes?

y/n: babe

jk: he has hasn’t he?

KILL ME NOWWWWWWWWEEWWWWWEJEJEJJEJEJWJWWWWENENEJEJEJNEJEJEENENNENNWJEJEJEJJEJWJEJEJEJEJEJEEJJWJWEJJEJWJWJWJWJEJEJEJENEJEJEJEJEJEJEJJEEJJEJEJJWJEJWJWJJWWJJWJWJWJWJWJWJWJWJWJWJJWJWNWNWNWNWWNWNWNWNWNWNWNENENNENENENENDNRNNRNDNNRNDNENENNENENENENENENENENNE

but can even sing?

y/n: yes kook

that is literally his job

jk: NOOSIEOSOSOOSOSOSOOOOO SNJSJSJDJDJSJSJDNMDNDMDNCMDMNDNDMDNDNDNDNDNDNNXJDJDN SNJSJSNDMDMDNDNDJDKXJDCJNXXNNCDNNXNXNX SJSJZKSJXNSJXJX JSJXMMXMX JXNXNDNNXNNDXNSNDN SJDJNDNXNXJXJX JSJXJXNXJCXJXJSISKS SJDJDJNDNDNDNDKNXXND NSJXJJDJXJDJD NJDJDJSJSJSJDJKDKDD DNDJKXKXKDXNXJX JSJDNDJDJSKISISOSKSKKS

there are so many tears in my eyes i can’t see

i cant think

i cant be

my left lung has given out and i’m losing hearing in both my ears

they are probably gonna have to amputate both my big toes and a couple fingers

it’s fading too black

baby

babe

pretty girl

can you hear me

do you care for me

did you ever care

did you even love me

y/n: jeon jungkook

jk: loml

y/n: get over it

jk: ok

y/n: ….

jk: i’m sorry

i love you

what even is a wonbin?

my biggest enemy in this life thats who

y/n: what happened to being sorry and over it?

jk: but babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

everyone is saying he’s like in love with you

and he can do a kick flip

what if you pick him

y/n: i said he could probably do a kick flip

not that he actually can

why does that even matter?

jk: cuz kick flips are cool

and bitch takeable

y/n: what

jk: he might pop a kick flip out of nowhere and steal you

i cant have that

y/n: learn how to kick flip then idk?

jk: BUT YOU TOOK MY SKATEBOARD AWAY

y/n: oh yeah i did

didnt you almost brake ur face?????

AND you kept riding it in the house

pretty reasonable of me

jk: so what ur saying that ur waiting for wonbin to kick flip in front of you

y/n: ?????????

jungkook i am not leaving u for wonbin

jk: you say that but when he drops the most sexiest panty dropping kick flip known to man right in front of you i’m gonna be left single and depressed

y/n: you are stressing me out

jk: can i have the skateboard back

y/n: no

jk: 😞

Y/n: i said no jungkook

jk: 😕

y/n: stop

jk: ☹️

y/n: fine whatever idk break all ur bones

jk: kick flip kook coming soon >.<

JIMIN -

jimin: pretend i’m wonho for a second ok?

y/n: wonho?

jimin: yeah wonho

y/n: boob

jimin: hey lol ur really pretty 😍 😋❤️‍🔥 you should totally ditch that ugly lame excuse of a boyfriend you have (jimin) 🤢🤮 and come be my girl 💯🤗🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️

y/n: boob 🤤

jimin: be mine

y/n: show me ur tits

jimin: u fucking cheating bitch

y/n: wonho don’t be mean 😢

jimin: i am no longer wonho

i am jimin

y/n: lame

turn back

we want wonho

jimin: who is we

y/n: me and the voices in my head idk

jimin: even the voices not even fucking with me anymore???

ohmygod

the wonho shippers were right

y/n: what the shippers saying

jimin: “y/n just looks so bored with jimin” “did you see her smile when wonho was mentioned”

y/n: WAITTTT THEY SPITTING 🙏🏽🔥🔥🔥

jimin: do you know how insane that is

LIKE YOU LOOK BORED WITH ME

BABE LIKE THATS SO INSANE

y/n: ig u got to get ur funny up idk

jimin: do you understand how this is impacting my mental health

y/n: i like when their a bit insane dw 😍

jimin: i’m real fucking insane

i hear voices

constantly

they tell me to do things

i listen to jay park

you like that huh?

y/n: ok calm down i said a bit insane not jay park lover insane

wtf is wrong with you

jimin: are you bored

y/n: sorry what were you saying i almost felt asleep

jimin: i hope wonho treats you right

y/n: yk i’m tit level to wonho

isn’t that perfect

my face just all up in there

constantly

jimin: me and him are the same height?

y/n: ok but it’s more exciting with wonho

jimin: should i get a boob job???

y/n: please

jimin: WOW

the standards these days are insane

you were supposed to tell me my body is perfect the way it is

y/n: it is

jimin: wow ur so convincing!!!

y/n: i mean it fr fr babe love u body yk that

little tittes matter too

im for the cause!!!!!!!!!!

jimin: i came to you for love and reassurance

y/n: i think i provided

jimin: i’m gonna kill myself infront on wonho

so he’s traumatised

y/n: i did say i like them a bit insane

but whose to say he’ll go insane from watching YOU die????

jimin: excuse me?

y/n: i’m just saying

jimin: a lot of people would go insane from watching ME die

y/n: not wonho

jimin: you can never be too sure

y/n: no i’m sure

jimin: are you trying to find out rn???

y/n: do it

you won’t

jimin: do you love me be honest

y/n: the most

jimin: fucking simp lmao

NAMJOON -

y/n: HIIIIIII JOONIE 😝😍

namjoon: hi

y/n: ????????????????????????????????

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

namjoon: ?

y/n: where is my “hi love”

where is the love

where is the life

not even a silly emoji???????????

who took my bitch

namjoon: death soon i hope

y/n: emo era joon omg?

namjoon: where are u rn?

y/n: some boba place with tae and kook

namjoon: oh

we’ve never gotten boba together

y/n: you don’t like boba joon??

namjoon: taste buds change??

y/n: we can go on a boba date tomorrow if you want?

namjoon: no

y/n: LAMOSOSK

ok babe

namjoon: yk people think ur fucking tae?

y/n: ew

namjoon: i’m not joking

like people think you’re cheating on me with tae

y/n: people always think i’m cheating

namjoon: yeah…

but like not with tae :/

and there isn’t always all these edits and stuff

people are even in our weverse talking about it

y/n: people are so silly

namjoon: yeah

…

why are you calling me?

y/n: why aren’t you answering?

namjoon: don’t want to interrupt ur date

y/n: my date???

namjoon: your date.

y/n: namjoon

namjoon: yeah

y/n: ur being silly

namjoon: in this clip ur looking at tae like he hung the all stars in the sky for you or something

y/n: get off twitter

namjoon: i’m gonna end my life

y/n: babe

namjoon: cheater 😔

y/n: jonnie r u jealous rn >.<

namjoon: i’m not jealous

y/n: what are you then?

namjoon: heartbroken?

sad

depressed

on the verge of suicide

y/n: tipsy?

namjoon: NO HAHA WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT??????

y/n: yeah thought so

this is a little out of character of you babe

kinda jungkook core idk

namjoon: did you just compare me to jungkook???????????????????????

do you want me to kill myself that bad

oh my god

are you fucking jungkook too??????

y/n: ?????

namjoon: is boba code for sex

y/n: no namjoon

namjoon: yeah ok

cheater 😞

after i learned what rizz was for you..

y/n: i’m am not fucking tae or jungkook my love

namjoon: was my rizz not good enough

y/n: are you listening to me joonie????

namjoon: it wasn’t was it

ofc it wasn’t

i’m sorry i wasn’t good enough

sorry i didn’t have enough rizz

i’m really sorry

y/n: namjoon

namjoon: no you know what

i really tried it wasn’t my fault

no one deserves to be cheated on like this

it’s all your fault

y/n: oh

namjoon: i’m guilt tripping you

y/n: what

namjoon: are you coming home now?

y/n: ???

namjoon: baby

y/n: you can’t tell someone ur guilt tripping them

that’s not how it works

namjoon: baby i’m not guilt tripping you

y/n: it’s too late now

i know what ur doing

namjoon: baby

y/n: wait…..

namjoon: waiting

y/n: no

ur not

namjoon: baby what’s wrong???

y/n: baby?

don’t tell me ur horny rn joon

namjoon: would that be so bad baby?

y/n: these mood swings??? insane actually

thought i was a cheater

now you wanna fuck???

namjoon: life is crazy

are you coming home???

or would you rather fuck taehyung instead

my fault

i’ll just go…

y/n: ur toxic

namjoon: ur a cheater

come home cheater

y/n: yeah yeah give me 20

HOSEOK -

hobi: hawk putuh

ik ur awake

and i know you see these rumours

y/n: did you just fucking spit on me??

hobi: yeah and what

will do it again

hawk putuh

told you

i don’t lie in these parts of town

don’t enjoy it too much

flipping freak

y/n: what rumours

hobi: don’t ignore my second spit wtf

y/n: shut up

hobi: u trying to get drunk and nasty rn? 😝

y/n: ?no

hobi: no u right we supposed to be arguing

y/n: i’m always right

and why are we supposed to be arguing?

hobi: umm that’s NOT true

and people are literally shipping you with mingyu rn…

y/n: how is that my fault

hobi: WRONG ANSWER

hawk putuh

y/n: stop spitting on me

hobi: you like it

y/n: no i don’t

hobi: wow you’ve changed

you used to like it

did mingyu change you???

where is the y/n i know and love

where is my y/n who likes spit

you should never let a man change you

be who you are

and what who you are is my spit loving girlfriend so act like it

y/n: i have never let you spit on me

like ever

hobi: why is that ur focus rn

you should be denying the fact that you’ve changed for mingyu

y/n: i haven’t changed for mingyu and i don’t like spit leave me alone

it’s 2 am hoseok

hobi: why are they shipping you with him what the hell pretty 😞

i’m in my feels rn

feeling aju not fucking nice rn

y/n: cheer up

hobi: no

y/n: ok fuck you then

hobi: i bet mingyu is giggling and blushing and at all of these stupid edits

UGH

by bts

i’m sick to my stomach

y/n: get better

hobi: word on the street is head makes the pain go away

y/n: on the street by jhope ft jcole

hobi: would you give head to mingyu be honest

y/n: you don’t want my honesty right now…

hobi: i do

y/n: let’s just say

hobi: NVM

nvm

let’s not say anything

how about we just hold hands at look each other deeply in the eyes

y/n: i’m cool with that

hobi: are you cool with mingyu

y/n: cool with you by newjeans

hobi: me?

little old me >.<

y/n: always you

hobi: lol stop loveboming me wtf

y/n: yeah kys

about to give mingyu the sloppiest top known to man

hobi: mingyu doesn’t even like girls like you

y/n: girls like me???

hobi: yeah

i don’t need to explain i think you get it

y/n: are you calling me ugly rn…

hobi: you said it not me

y/n: ok

hobi: ok

y/n: hawk putuh

hobi: you didn’t….

y/n: i did

hobi: what fuck

y/n: yeah and what

hobi: what if i said

y/n: no

hobi: yeah

i enjoyed it real bad

do it again

let me catch it this time

😋

y/n: fuck off fuck you leave me alone

hobi: mingyu would never treat you like i do

y/n: i’m sold

tell mingyu i’m on my way

hobi: …

—

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies

lowkey hating joons and kooks but it’s okay better shit to come this just my warm up ong 🙏🏽💯🔥

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