#thats all i need to sustain myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

graedari · 1 year

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Get Rinzled

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mainfaggot · 5 months

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tw eating disorder talk, pt.2 to the last post in the tags (once again, no mention of numbers that could be triggering, just a heartfelt rant bc I've been so afraid of talking about these things on here, but i really just need to get everything out bc . I feel crazy)

#so basically it was bad. this past summer the relapse was so sugarcoated in the sense that #i was telling myself it was fine. it didn't look the same as it did at my very worst #it didn't even feel the same #but it wasn't fulfilling either. it was stressful. it was exhausting. i was using my anorexia as a way to distract from having depression #i needed to feel a sense of achievement and i got it! but at the cost of my physical health #and my mental health was all over the place like less depressed sure. but way more anxious #it was weird. because even now i have to tell myself it wasn't okay. it wasn't fine. it's not worth it it's not WORTH IT #part of me keeps romanticizing it bc i was so in control and i was still working a little and still functioning in a socially acceptable way #but i know how much anxiety it gave me on a daily basis. only i know how my body ached and how low i felt from my immunity going to shit #only I know what it's like to have horrible circulation and constant weakness #no one else will live my life for me #I'm sure there are people who can live the way i was. im sure there are people who thrive like that #but they only thrive for a short time before it all comes crashing fown #and it's not worth the comparison bc when im suffering theyre not going to help me out!!!!!#when im struggling with the weight of it all. the people that promote tiny little portions and academic excellence with no room for #self compassion #they're not going to nurse me back to health #i won't feel a sustained sense of satisfaction from restricting and studying until i pass out from exhaustion. I've done that before #perfectionism is a parasite and this is a disease. it's a fucking mental illness and it's not even about vanity for me like thats just a #fraction of it #anyway #z.post

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years

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...

#somethings gotta give. bc the way i exist now is not sustainable. i mean. it is but like at what cost ya kno #i just want to clean my apartment and go to the dentist. thats all i want. and that makes me so sad #my mum texted me today like pls work on a xmas list and literally i dont want anything i just wanna clean my apartment #and like not hate everything i have to do on a regular basis. and to b able to concentrate and not be paralyzed by everything #which is to say i need to be medicated but that's just another thing on a growing list of things that needs to happen so like cool great #mayne itll be better once i start taking measures. it wont. i know it wont but maybe it'll at least b terrible in a different way #bc im tired of this way. and im pretty sure my boss thinks im having a breakdown and like shes not really wrong but its still annoying #i should also get tickets home for winter break. but the mental math i have to do to convince myself i can take time off is exhausting #i should probably go for like a full 2 weeks. and hope it heals me even tho none of the breaks ive had this year have healed me #just take 2 weeks and get a game on steam and just not do anything as i agonize over all my applications #and agonize over the fact i probably have to be here doing this for at least another 7 or 8 months #i should have left last year. ugh. i should have done a lot of things. i should b working on my manuscripts right now #or doing something productive. im just tired. and i dont want to meet with ppl tomorrow. i just wanna sleep #unrelated

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shinkai-kaiju · 1 year

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there should be no reason i make $100 in sales and only get to keep $20 of that to begin with. there is NOT A SINGLE REASON for me to have to give up $9 of that in fees on top of the $80 i already forfeit.

#its genuinely pissing me off so much you do not know the rage within me #i started a redbubble bc i dont know how to market myself bc thats kinda depressing to do as an artist #but i made stuff. that people like sometimes. And i wanted them to be able to have it. but this is not at all sustainable #i already dont get much out of what i sell and now i get fucking pennies. its relatively cheap labor for them so they dont feel the need #to pay bc they expect you to be selling like $300 a month ir smthn #youd only get $60 of that $300 anyways right? lmao? its no big deaaaal(through grit teeth)#the frustrating thing is that not all accounts need to pay the new fees! theyre extremely vague about how you get to be a premium or pro #account. im a standard. people who post more than me are standards. people who ar more aftive than me are standards #some people who post less than i have or are less active are premiums #some people who are new are standards and others are premiums #im assuming pro is paid.#it just fucking blows over all #sorry this is me yelling about redbubble #delete later

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callilouv · 2 months

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once ir reached 3am im gna plsay ml

#everybody is half asleep every time i play matches on ml at that time and its fuking hilaruosu #even me too cuz the enemy cld be right in front of me and ill miss all of my skills like What (rlyl happened and i was embarrassed cuz that #was quite litrly a free kill)#uehm ill try playing tank ig (very Ew unless its esme my queen<3)#i have tigreals special skin but ugghugurhg i wanna play pretty girls!!!!#only dude im allowing myself to play is nolan n cyclops and THATS IT #my nolan skills have degraded terribly tho i used to be so good at him when he first realessed #but he started getting banned every match and overtime i just forgot how to use him</3 #+ i prefer to play more sustain junglers now like esme cuz id rather last long in a clash than die w just 1 wrong move #thats why im esme's Biggest Fangirl Ever (real)<3333 #but i fucking hate playig as the jungler so thats that ig #I MISS MY MARKSMAN ROOTS but at the same time playing mid is saur fun #i need to sharpen up my luo yi skills cuz i wan buy oracle of sol skin w the promo dias #actually idk how promo dias work #like can u buy any skin or will there be like options to choose from idk #but either way i want to buy oracle of sol soooo bad just bc it looks so pretty #halloween lylia is alr but..... oracle of sol fx...... :(#oh help im looking thru my heores rn and i literally forgot that i have novaria #why did i even buy her bro im so shit at aiming my skills (see: first few tags)#same way i want to play selena but i know that aiming my skills i sjust . not it for me HWKJFGH #ermmemrm for marksman i doubt ill be going back to being a mm main any time soon #and if i hav to play mm in a match ill pick ixia anyway butttt i rlly rlly wanna learn how to play karrie #cuz the pro karrie players i get matched w are literally so scary liek i Cannot farm properly . they alwys zone me out!!!!#and its scary cuz once i get out of my tower she'll fucking punish me for that and i die !!!#one day one day #oooh also beatrix i wanna learn but just looking at her plethora of guns has my eyes confused #so sadge but uhhh i also rlly kinda wanna play melissa but it just seems that shes rlly rlly squishy #like she just has that kill them before they kill u kind of strat and most of the time it works but #i literally get like 20 heart attacks when i see my hp drop below 50% and i usually fumble my skills after that hhaaha #uhm anwyay i think i rambled elong enough her

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sungsuho · 4 months

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i dont know what to do

#this sucks so bad nothing has changed recently about how my dad treats me and het somehow its all so much worse. straw that broke thr camels #back i guess #like at this point the onky solution i can think of is running away and libing on the streets. but i obviously cant do that because #ots not like thats going go he any better #i have. no wjere to go. the only places i could go to get away from them (libraries etc) are only ppen durinh the day. when yheure at work #i dont need to get away from mh parents when theure not here #i dont have a job i barely make enough on doordash a montj to pay my bills. so its not like i can move out #so what's the solution. stay like this? stay in this place? where i have panic attacks every other day at the thought of my dad yellingatme?#i cant even go downstairs once my parents are home until like midnight where i know theyre asleep #i spend more time hiding from my parente in the bathroom thanci do anuthing else #and i cant even begin to get myself out of here because no one is fucking hiring. and doordash is not sustainable #like

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rocket-candy-heart · 1 year

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I struggle so much with summer clothes that finding anything seasonally appropriate that I can wear without feeling nauseous is really a gift

#got myself gardening overalls for my household tasks/gardening/dog walking/etc and theyre breathable and they fit!#also i try not to buy too many clothes from target bc theyre not the best re quality/sustainability/ethics #but...they had something i will feel comfortable wearing AND i got to try it on before i bought it which is really unexpected and nice #trying to remind myself that before i know it it WILL be in the 90°+ range every single day and i WILL make myself heat sick #i need a fashion guide thats like 'how to dress for summer when summer is viscerally depressing and all the clothes are ugly'#im not like...modest or anything. its just that sometimes i dont want to deal with the confrontations inherant in wearing revealing clothes #as a fat person i DO get harassed more and confronted more if im not fairly covered up

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snekdood · 1 year

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Commercial food brands:

People aren't buying your products bc you put milk in everything and no vegan options. People are learning that eating SO MUCH MILK AND MEAT is NOT actually great for you and your body and also makes ya constipated. I think maybe yall should invest in vegan options and alternatives to your popular products, then you wont lose so many people to being fed up and ultimately resorting to cooking for themselves since like most every popular food brand has 0 alternatives.

#my stomach does Not appreciate having to eat anything w milk and meat in it #aside from any morals i have for myself about eating animal products. my stomach does Not like sitting there tryna digest this shit #and i also dont like it and being constipated like all the time :|#obviously im an Anti Milk Propaganda blog (in spite of being hindu ??) but this isnt even about how milk powder is in everything which it #is and its really annoying. this is about how in general this shit isnt sustainable if you're trying to gain as many consumers as possible #like health is a huge thing for ppl now ppl dont wanna just sit there and mindlessly eat whatever crap no matter whats in it #also okay i dont think its impossible to ethically consume milk. i do believe thats probably what most hindus do #its more like a. we're not cows so why are we doing this kinda thing. like i think we only started consuming milk outta desperation #and lack of other food options but now we got a whole lot more options so idk.#im a snake-man so im just like. avoidant of milk in general djfhhgfdhg. i've always hated how dairy tastes .-.#im sorrey shiva pls forgive me u-u #nvm just looked up the dairy industry in india and its Not looking good out here boys :T #i trust that like ppl with their own cows are good to them but uh... industries gonna industry no matter who gets hurt huh #anyways i need to stop reading about this because im already crying and i dont need to anymore 😢👍#not gonna act like its better in the us but hearing about this stuff and seeing any imagery of it just makes me cry a lot

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oliviawebsite · 1 month

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one more call for help as i get my shit together

hello hello, it is me again asking for help getting to my next "life checkpoint" as it were. i am starting a new full time job this tuesday and am relieved to be at the end of my unemployment saga. the tricky thing is that i don't get a paycheck until may 3rd and thats only going to account for one half of a full pay period. the problem of course is that rent and quite a few other hefty bills are due for me on or before the 1st. i will need some help paying rent especially because my first paycheck wont be enough to cover it in full. i also need help buying food, medicine, and paying for train rides to and from the city (about $9 usd for a round trip) so i can actually show up to this place and get it all right. i'm proud of myself for getting here and incredibly thankful for the help i have received along the way. this is hopefully my final push for financial help for the foreseeable future since this job pays well and is guaranteed to be full time and is well-backed by a reputable organization. whatever you give, even if its just a few bucks, helps. a few bucks could buy me an extra meal! im setting a goal of around $600 and i think that should be enough to stay comfortable until my paychecks are self sustaining.

$0/600

if u see this post on or after the 17th of may, 2024 please ignore it and do not donate as i will be getting full paychecks by this point and will no longer be in need of assistance

you can also support by buying some of my music on bandcamp:

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luckykiwiii101 · 5 months

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Feel like overconsuming?

——————————————————————————

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

——————————————————————————

(Remind yourself of these facts whenever you feel doubtful, frustrated, stressed or like over consuming)

💕Do NOT focus on the 3D. Just focus on the 4D

💖The 3D is just the old state/assumptions manifested

💗I KNOW that I have everything I want no matter what the 3D shows

💞I Fulfil myself every time I think of my desire (surrender to the 4D)

💓I NEVER identify with the 3D unless it’s desired

🌸I KNOW that i’m not waiting for the 3D to conform. I am only making my desire natural to me. I am getting used to always having it.

🌺I am only REMINDING myself that I have what I want.

🌷Logic doesn’t exist

🎀I am NOT lying to myself!!!

💄NOTHING can “ruin” my manifestation

💐I Only see/hear what l want to see/hear

🩰I Only focus on the FEELING of having what I want, I return back to that feeling every time I think of my desire. I satisfy myself until i no longer need the feeling of satisfaction.

💗I don’t need to affirm or visualise etc all day.

🍬I only look for confirmation in the 4D. NEVER the 3D.

💘Creation is finished. It’s done.

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Quotes from @loasuccessarchive from anons who manifested their dream lives:

💗 “I've manifested so much physical changes when i stopped thinking about how the 3d needs to change. i focused on how i feel (state of already having your desires) and sustained that feeling.”

💓 “I did absolutely nothing but focus on my desires/the 4D. I was delusional, I was detached from whatever bullshit was happening in my 3D and I was basically in love with my 4D.”

💞 “the only reason why you fail, is because you haven’t accepted that imagination is the only reality, everything stems from imagination. the longer you focus on getting it in the physical world, the more stress you’ll have. you only want the feeling such desire brings you, so give it to your inner man.”

💕”All i did was fulfill myself in my imagination, and stopped looking for confirmation in the outer world, whenever i felt the urge to “look for it in the 3D” i would close my eyes and see it in my imagination. That’s all i did, the first days i felt a little anxious but then everything was okay, and i was EXTREMELY calm.”

💖 “I started focusing on the feeling of having everything I wanted, without being specific because my subconscious/ god knows what it is, it’s when things started happening, and let me tell you it’s was so quick.”

“I didn’t work on my self concept, I didn’t do methods (however I tried SATs and it did work for me once but I stopped since I got lazy) I didn’t focus on time or logic, I didn’t do anything but focus on what was happening in my imagination.”

🎀 💋 “your only job in here is to think from the perspective that you already have it baby. don't stress yourself, everything will change because if it is in your imagination and you accept that it will reflect in the 3d, thats literally everything everything and everything . you don't need to change your thoughts, only your state, you want to get into the void this night? imagine however you want that you are waking up with everything you wanted, it is not a desire, it is the reality. you want proof? go to your imagination. everything is there.”

💋”the wish fulfilled isn’t something over exciting (although it may be at first) its just a natural and normal.” —> https://www.tumblr.com/etherealkissed88/737821647378284544/the-state-of-the-wish-fulfilled

P.S Ily 💗 XoXo - Gossip Girl

#void state #void #law of assumption #loa blog #loa tumblr #loassumption #manifestation #loablr #loa

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holllandtrash · 1 year

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not good enough | charles leclerc social media au

paring: charles leclerc x reader

charles' girlfriend gets a lot of hate online and he usually stays out it because she knows how to handle it...but sometimes people just need a little reminder that they're in love asian faceclaim: christina nadin - british/filipino influencer

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 26,522 others

yourusername 'come to paris' charles said, 'it'll be fun' mate it literally smells like ass and i dont speak french

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charles_leclerc i've been translating everything for you, you're fine

pierregasly should have visited milan instead

charles_leclerc are you hitting on my girlfriend pierregasly milan is simply better than paris yourusername we're going to milan next time

hamiltyres shes so real for this

lightsouthannah she complains about everything why does charles put up with her

55carlando4 are they there for paris fashion week??

charles_leclerc added to their story

yourusername

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yourusername day 2

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pierregasly how did charles convince you to leave the hotel?

yourusername he told me i wouldn't have to stay for the fashion show yourusername he lied charles_leclerc 🙄🙄🙄

noviaelegante love the fit😍 check your dm's girly!

hammilstop is it just me or does y/n seen ungrateful?

jemmaf1 yeah i was thinking the same thing

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc Celine Homme 2023🖤 Merci celine

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yourusername pretty

charles_leclerc you should have came with yourusername i had nothing to wear charles_leclerc thats a horrible excuse

scuderiaferrari 😍😍😍😍

luvfrom63 i dont understand why y/n goes to paris with charles but then refuses to attend the shows

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yourusername

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tagged: noviaelegante

yourusername a sustainable fashion show that promotes empowering women living in recovering nations? sign me up

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noviaelegante so happy to have you attend🖤

charles_leclerc you should have modelled one of them

yourusername im not putting on a wedding dress until you give me a reason to

pierregasly when are you walking down the aisle?

yourusername when someone puts a rock on my finger pierregasly is this an open invitation? charles_leclerc mate dont even think about proposing to my girl

channyinthepaddock THATS what she wore to the show? girl💀

kaleyschumacher its a no from me

lewisfanclub im sorry are we not going to talk about pierre's comments????????

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc The man!! doni.nahmias

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yourusername sorry i missed your show doni.nahmias ❤️❤️

doni.nahmias the drinks are on your tab tonight yourusername thats fair

caraf1fan charles slays at another fashion show and y/n can't even bother to attend and support her friend? what is wrong with her

mickysunshine y/n do better💀💀

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yourusername

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yourusername these pictures were taken within 45 minutes of each other

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charles_leclerc beautiful in both 🖤

pierregasly so she does know how to dress up

yourusername its our last night in paris i figured i'd put in some effort

hannahsformula idk i still think charles can do better than her

vivvverstappen nah her and charles are a power couple and anyone who says otherwise is so so wrong

luvforlance but why hasn't charles said anything about what shes been dealing with online 💀 he defends her the same way justin bieber defends hailey

yourusername im a big girl i can handle myself

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc thank you dior for helping me end Paris Fashion Week in style

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dior 🖤😍

yourusername hot

liked by charles_leclerc

mickandkmags forever wondering how y/n managed to pull charles when he looks like that and she wears jumpers and sweats 99% of the time

yourusername he loves my personality pierregasly yeah sure thats it

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yourusername

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yourusername prettier than paris if you ask me

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charles_leclerc i agree

pierregasly not as pretty as milan

charles_leclerc will you please shut up about milan

pierregasly added to their story

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

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yourusername sorry, i thought a bitch on twitter said something

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charles_leclerc oh my

pierregasly oh my x2

landonorris people should piss you off more often

danielricciardo shes a keeper charlesleclerc

charlesleclerc trust me i know

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc ma chérie

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yourusername but am i hot enough for you?

charles_leclerc i like your personality yourusername good answer

pierregasly 😧😧😧

yourusername close your eyes pierre

yellowhaas charles really said 'shes all mine'

hamiltvvn but can he fight

f1fanclubs for so long people have been saying she doesnt deserve him...besties...i think its the other way around

liked by charles_leclerc

this felt like a rushed ending but oh well

masterlist here

#charles leclerc social media au #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc #formula 1 #formula 1 x you #f1 social media au #f1 requests #f1 one shot #f1 #f1 instagram au

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pears-trinkets · 2 years

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I watched a tiktok some days ago where OP was talking about their art variating in quality according to what they were drawing. Like for example when they were doing commissions quality plummeted and they'd ragequit because it was so frustrating even if they wanted to make it work but when they were drawing fanart for a series they loved it would be on a completely different professional level

And then they explained how they talked to a friend about it and the friend asked them

"Well are you passionate about art or are you passionate about the media you're drawing?"

Which sounds so simple and obvious but I literally needed it to be spelled out like that for it to click??

I feel like some kind of spell has been lifted a bit since then? I dont know

But all my life I was passionate about art itself and was only drawing TO DRAW but then with the internet and fandoms (that bring community and more engagement thats passionate in itself) but also art school and pressure to make a living out of it and to not get lost in the algorithm I was actually mad at myself why I couldn't draw fanart and capture that fanart vibe etc as others could but it was literally just not my main thing and wouldnt be sustainable longtime on its own

And I've literally burned myself out doing that and ever since I thought I'd use series and fanart like a crutch to get myself going again because I couldn't even imagine doing it on my own without any help but I've been actually doing myself a disservice with that?

I was trying to mend my problem with anime and movies and books and games but that's not what was broken to begin with

Its just such a different approach to everything to think "I'm getting my passion, love and joy for art back" and "I'm getting my passion for the media I love back through fandom and their passion I can piggyback off of" and how it makes things work from within and I feel stupid for thinking like that

Because at the end of the day it comes down to you and having to sit with yourself while drawing and how that's making you feel

And now it absolutely makes sense how so many people I knew were doing art but actually hated it and talked negatively about it and had no fun in art itself because they just wanted to contribute or show their love to a fandom but didnt enjoy doing it through drawing

And why we couldn't really connect because of these different approaches because while I was like DRAWING DRAWING DRAWING they were CHARACTER ABC CHARACTER ABC CHATACTER ABC

I dont know

It has been such an impactful thing I thought I might as well share it for anyone who needs it

The creator on tiktok is @ almostzander and they also concluded that it was an audhd hyperfixation problem and I'm still letting that simmer a bit in my head because I think that everyone experiences this on some level like just doing something for the wrong reasons to put it simple but I also think we are definitely more deceptive to that!

(this is me letting it simmer)

#audhd #drawing

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definitelynotshouting · 8 months

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Hello again! Im so sorry to hear you feeling well when i sent in my ask the other day :( hoping that the life series drop tmrw will provide a much needed distraction for whatever you need it to :)

-☀️

"I know the, um, this morning didn't go… very well… but… if I could—""

"Good, he thinks, but it's a rote sentiment, not half so vicious as it had been only hours earlier."

- oh??? 👀 i am looking

- Im assuming this is the meeting they had about taking grian back to hermitcraft (and the revelation that grian feeds on emotions to survive)?? Very curious

- Now that metaphor about the childhood coat being stained is a lot more painful

-☀️

"even stolen energy can't make up for that."

"everything he'd never had the first time he— well, when Grian, the real Grian— had died."

- "stolen energy" omg i am biting ankles over this.

- And the "real Grian" thing. Yeah

- This is one of those moments where grian's whole situation is so much more potent and vivid. Imagining living as myself, but knowing im occupying someone elses body, and having my very lifeforce sustained by others?? Its not hard to understand why grian internalises and hates himself for being "a parasite". Idk thats probably very obvious to everyone else but this is the first time ive really thought about all of what that entails

-☀️

"Starving hands reach out from the depths of his mind to pull him back, stumbling, under that dark waterline."

- Love how the word "starving" implies that G falling asleep is more of a survival mechanism forcing him under so that his body can feed rather than only exhaustion

-☀️

"he's pressed a knife to every promise he's ever made since the day he emerged,"

- shaking you

-☀️

"His existence lies in the shadows of these distorted fractures, jagged hopes and dented dreams, forever fated to cut his hands on the fragments."

- AHHHHJSLDHSJSVSN

- Man 🧍

- Dont have any words. Just tears.

AAAAAAAAAA SUN ANON I ALWAYS LOVE SEEING YOU IN MY INBOX!!!! Gods im so glad these lines resonated with and interested you, they were a ton of fun to write

I have a brain today so i can actually expand on some of the things youve pointed out instead of just aiming heart eyes at you for the compliments fjsndjsjejke so for the first point, yes!!! Scar and Xisuma returned to the others post chap 6 and were like "Well that sucked!! Wow!!!!" I wouldnt say theyve given all the information to everybody, because they themselves aren't exactly ready to discuss that beyond the immediately required basics, but everyone else was given the gist: convo went badly, Grian is being taken back to Hermitcraft on Scar and Xisuma's insistence. Both Scar and Xisuma feel fucking horrible for how that conversation went down-- nobody had a good time there. So while the plan is to eventually get everyone up to speed, they're sorta taking this time to be miserable about what was essentially a fight that ended in stripping Grian of his autonomy

There's also a little cross-communication happening here in the background, btw: Scar and Xisuma have a pretty big picture now, but Tango, Mumbo, and Pearl have been fed that false info abt the potions being potentially useful. So, yknow :) just smth to keep in mind there haha

Your point about how it almost feels like Grian falling asleep is a survival mechanism is spot on the money. It's essentially him falling into a state of low power mode, where everything but his most basic of functions is shut down for a brief time in favour of preserving energy-- i would honestly consider it more equivalent to a coma than actual sleep. Hence Tango's concern, and subsequent relief when Grian woke up; the entire time he was unconscious, he was fully unresponsive. So, yknow. Real nerve-wracking to see, especially after that prior full week of unresponsiveness as his body struggled to maintain itself.

Tango's role here is indeed deliberate, both on a watsonian and doylist level!! The reason however is the exact same for both: Tango is a little more removed, personally, from this situation. Grian was-- and is-- his friend, ofc, but he's not as close to whats happening. Meanwhile, Xisuma is in 24/7 server babysitting mode, Pearl is not fit to be a caretaker, and Scar and Mumbo were tearing themselves apart by trying to sit and look after him. So Tango got assigned caretaker duties 😂😂😂😂 it was an effective way to divvy up tasks and keep everybody busy, and somewhat hilariously, so far Tango is the only person Grian isnt supremely upset with for one reason or another. And thats why he's continued to stay in caretaker mode lol he is truly just. The only guy who can rn

I also just sorta think of him as a surprisingly emotionally savvy fixer-type, in terms of personality. Like. I think he just gets what people set down in front of him, yknow? Although hell if he knows what to do with it once he's got em. He fumbles a lot, sure, and he defaults to fix-it mode, but he is getting the message when Grian essentially says "i dont wanna talk anymore" without actually saying it

As for Grian and his headspace, rn, theres definitely a complexity at work here where he wants to die and is very genuine in that, but he IS also grateful he's seeing his friends. He cant deny that. As painful as it is, he still loves them very much, and ultimately he's trying to do this for their own good as much as for his own sense of punishment and relief. I think like... now that he's really creeping up on what he has planned, and the pieces are suddenly becoming a reality, theres a bit of dissonance he's fighting against to stay on course. He wants his friends happy; he also wants to die. He's so overwhelmingly tired; he is, as much as he feels he doesnt deserve it, glad to have his friends close. That sort of hopelessness mixed with a warped sense of comfort that he got to see and interact with them one last time. If that makes any sense. Its a bit of complexity i wanted to make sure i added in, because people are so rarely fully decided on any course of action they choose to take, without even a single flicker of doubt (and especially one so final as this). Im glad youve picked up on that, and that you appreciate what i was trying to set down with it!!! :D

This was such a lovely message, as always-- you are very sweet, sun anon, and i appreciate you lots :] i hope you're having an excellent day!!!

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #compliments #dw i am feeling much better!!! was just a wonky few days :]#❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#anyway i hope these lil expansions are fun for you to read 👀👀👀#long post #txt

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narwhalandchill · 4 months

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hsr 2.1 kit leaks

ok idk how but even w the preliminary aventurine kit leaks i didnt register before seeing a comment on how he would actually just shred in herta+himeko FUA teams for PF too and im just? obsessed actually i Love this

like PF is already in that weird place where sustains are kinda good still but kinda useless but aventurine being an actual FUA sub dps in addition to his shielding is just? so fucking good and will go so well with the never ending follow up after follow up death spiral that himeko and herta inherently bring to PF it should be a massacre 💀💀 i cant wait

anyway his kit looks sick i rly love how its designed. ACTUAL sub dps potential in a sustain finally 😭😭 and how much crit rate (40%) he gets just from reaching 3600 def is just? so delicious. obviously the fact that he will want crit, def, spd and possibly eff res too means you kinda need to invest hard into his build to rly get the most out of him but i love that blonde fucker so. yeah ill commit. i farmed my ass off for my fu xuan to be as stacked as she is i Will do it again 🫡🫡

the eff res hes giving to the team is actually massive too ?? CC immunity to himself when his passive effect is up? shields on skill no ult dependency and shield stacking on teammates being attacked and FUAs (and like. hes not dependent on FUA teams lmao its just going to boost him) just like that???

AND hes fast as fuck somehow like what 😭😭😭😭 bro looks stacked as hell i hope he stays strong. aventurine with that 106 speed rly out there running from the consequences of his antics 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️💀

anyway wow im hype for this bastard i Cannot wait for his animations

as for acheron im. somewhat interested? but not like too pressed abt it for now. her stacking mechanic seems interesting and ive already seen the asset leaks for her red ultimate state (which is like 700% better than her base design) but if you only see that design for a v short time idk how much itll motivate me to get her.

the lack of LC options definitely hurts like. all i realistically have for her is s3 GNSW but thats on kafka rn. ig if i got acheron i prolly wouldnt be running them at the same time but its still food for thought ig

also she really copied neuvillettes homework for that nihility team passive HSJSJSKSKF idk how i feel abt it like w our current cast it kinda feels pretty tricky to genuinely get a strong team going for an actual max stack team for acheron. like run her with pela and what? guinaifen? ig we will see what shes all abt

ig i just dont feel as much of an incentive for a lightning dps for now w kafka but eh i might go for acheron still. i do have a guarantee tho so it might be nice to save it for aventurine straight up bc then i could maybe go for his LC since it gets him even more sub dps potential but who knows

ig only gripe w aventurine (which isnt that big of deal rly) is the current lack of FUA charas like idm building ratio eventually even having daniel (and them having such heavy synergy is very funny. renheng could never 💀) n i could see myself maybe getting topaz even if im not a huge fan of her character (tho i do think shes well written; my mixed feelings r a result of her being complex) but idk. i hope we get more leaks for upcoming FUA charas.

obviously theres xueyi but her FUAs arent That frequent and unironically i wouldnt Want someone like aventurine w his likely frequent FUAs on her team eating away the toughness bar from her so itd only really work against enemies who are quantum weak but not imaginary. but worth thinking abt still. at least herta n himeko will be a guaranteed PF synergy for him so thats hype

and most important of all: def mainstat with double crit we are so back. relics with double crit that half rolled into def we are so back. etc etc etc

#also i just rly fuckinf hope aventurines hat n glasses are a part of his model i s2g he looks so naked without them 😭😭😭#maybe make them toggleable or sth but also they didnt make jinglius so...#rambles #hsr #hsr leaks /

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barbatusart · 11 months

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❄️❄️❄️❄️💨💨💨💨

DIAGNOSE THOSE FREAAAAAKS!!!!! ❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️🌬🌬🌬☃️☃️☃️💎💎💎💎

❄️❄️❄️❄️☃️☃️☃️☃️💦💦💦💦

i didnt know what you meant for a split second LOL but word ok I GOTCHA. i did write everybody with cognitive "touchstones" in mind but used it more as one of multiple building blocks in shaping everybody's personalities & tried not to have anybody be a stereotype of their neural makeup. SPOILERS ABOUND BELOW THE CUT HEADS UP!

jake i wrote pretty explicitly as autistic. im not autistic myself but i have multiple close family members who are; ive been around it since i was little to present day & wanted to try my hand at writing an autistic character. i think i had it that his father is also autistic so his parents caught on pretty quickly & got him all the tools he needed growing up to live happily. unfortunately hes also extremely gullible & a firm believer in geek social fallacy

sal is a case of C-PTSD (compounded with the multiple head injuries sustained at the end of sad sack by the time sortie rolls around if thats illuminating at all) which is something he combats by making himself as physically large & intimidating as possible while using that as a social shield if that makes sense. he has this concept of himself as something he needs to mask (often literally) in order to behave as his "true" self, which also is a concept of himself that is "Not Me" that he shucks off anything he may have ever done wrong onto so he never has to take responsibility for anything. i deliberately did not write DID here but he is highly dissociative with poor emotional regulation & deeply low EQ (again: see sortie)

mal is a very nebulous anxiety disorder in an extremely extraverted person. his treatment of it involves trying to "shout" over his anxiety even louder to try & drown it out which goes about as well as youd expect; he actually nearly breaches into a full-on panic attack in book 3 where hes trying to light his cigarette. self medication is also 2 packs a day & his BP is like 220/120 at rest, but he doesnt go to the doctor much or declines blood pressure on the regular cus if he doesnt see it then nothing's wrong. nothing's wrong! he's also got some shit going on with not being able to perceive himself in any positive light unless he's positioning himself to be praised as a hero or directly comparing himself with somebody he considers "lower" than him, which when you put that up against the context of book 3 is like get the fuck away from me dude. more on that later, i got comic-related plans for mal lol

stone is a deep depression mixed in with barely functional alcoholism (starting to not so subtly breach over into alcoholic psychosis) which all roots back into an unmanaged grief thats turned into him looking for you-know-who in the people around him (ie romantic partners, this dudes a mess) he kinda laid his shit bare in 4 so the less said about that the better, his whole situation honestly skeeves me out bigtime

garv ive gone into his nonsense on here plenty but he is an unintelligent sociopath (no childhood woes he just got born that way) with the added issue of being raised on /b/ LOL

#sad sack #q&a

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honeytonedhottie · 6 months

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hi honey! I’ve been binge reading most of your posts and I’ve noticed you’ve always mentioned about “thinking before you speak” and even though I feel like it should be a pretty straight forward tip, I just struggle with it. I don’t really think before I speak a lot and most of the things I say are just out of impulse with zero consideration, it’s so bad my friend has called me out for a lot of it and I always somehow make like my class groups that I sit at go silent because I said something that was so awkward or out of pocket that everyone goes quiet. it made me realize how bad it was for me to control what I say and it makes me feel terrible and insecure about myself. I don’t like the things that I say and I most of the time never intend to say them, it’s just this never ending crisis of just wanting some self control but getting consumed by the desperate want for attention, for someone to just laugh at whatever nonsense I’m spewing. I don’t even like my own personality and I really want to change it not for other people but for myself 😓😓 I always think of just dropping my friends so I can focus more on myself so I can become better but I always end up being too scared because I’m selfish and think that if something were to happen and I needed their help, I wouldn’t be able to turn to them and I’d be left alone dealing with things myself (and tbh I don’t want to be alone).

This is a pretty negative post so I’m really sorry for that 😭😭 I’m just going through a midlife crisis and I want to change myself for the better but the things I do just don’t really get along with that idea which makes me struggle a lot. Thank you if you read this ask and give advice, if you want, the next time I make another ask, it’ll be a more positive update. I love all your posts so much and I really do wish you good health. 💗💗

hi anonie 💗💗 i'll do my best to give u a thorough answer and i wish u good health too.

i think that if ur habit to just be negative/say negative things effects ur friendships and ur relationship with urself then thats a sure sign that its time for a change and its good that u also see that <3

at the end of the day u need to take back power over ur mind and remind urself that YOU are in control of ur thoughts, a controlled and sustained imagination is the key. so if u control what u think -> u control what u say.

reward urself when u get an intrusive thought and dont act on it. and PRACTICE anonie, i recommend meditation because it rly puts me in control of my thoughts and emotions.

as for the second portion of ur post, if dropping ur friends and focusing on urself will help you then DO SO. dont let the fear of being alone hinder with ur self growth. doing so will help u grow as a person and become the person that u wanna be. i rly recommend dealing with ur own behavior and taking accountability by giving urself the time and space and resources that u deserve to change

i send all my love anonie and you've got this💗💗💗

#self concept #advice #becoming that girl #self love #becoming the best version

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