#that shit piled on
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even tho that scene™️ in ep 5 is harrowing to watch, the scene that i actually struggle with the most (and literally have to fast forward through) is in ep 3 when Louis goes to give the twins presents like…i know what its like to be transformed by trauma in a “dark” way on top of already being different in a way that families often times aren’t accepting of. i know what its like to be desperate to appeal to their acceptance and feel loved by them even tho i can never be who they prefer i be. i’ve been reactive (meltdown) in an attempt to make a space for myself amongst them in the only ways i can. it hurts to watch that scene. it hurts to watch his mother grab his chin and say yes this is who you’ve always been to me finally revealed as if everything he did out of love and support for them will never outweigh the ways he disappoints them. but he feels the weight of having held them up only to be crushed by their refusal to give him the love and support in return in the way he needs it.
then he goes home to his husband who mocks him with an orgy he was never going to allow + delivers the news of the azalea like its nothing + “how dare you cheat on me back?” + he’s like ‘your ed is personally offending me and my hard on’ and then it only gets worse from there. ep 5 was built up so well and the escalation happening after their babytrap, the vampire Claudia, is born is so real idk how anyone was blindsided.
it’s actually in my top 3 fav episodes, if not my favorite even tho i struggle with it so much. i’m about to watch it again bc i like pain apparently
#i would have dissociated too fuck#that shit piled on#i do that. if it just keeps piling and piling my brain shuts everything down and i retreat inwards#to see anyone be like “yeah how dare louis not fuck lestat” made my eyes twitch#iwtv#ldpdl#amc interview with the vampire#being rejected like that is so devastating and then not even being able to go home and be understood by your own husband#no to return home and be faced with another person for whom your love isn’t enough#another person who hold it against you how trauma has transformed you#even tho he the trauma that transformed you#all the things he promised up in flames just like everything else#then the episode ends with everything literally on fire#mw posts
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got a worm nibbling my brain. can someone help me find a piece of obscure media?
webcomic/indie comic from the 2010s. basically a sci-fi short story about a young girl (with red hair?) who was being raised by scientists as part of an experiment. she receives a haircut/has her head shaved, in preparation for her annual brain scan/testing. it is revealed that while her body is human, her "brain" is artificial, made of computer implants throughout her skull and spine. at some point her biological mother (also a scientist on the same campus?) encounters her and is repulsed, viewing her as a machine who has murdered her daughter.
it was very poignant and it bruised my heart and i can NOT find it anywhere
#i thought it was made by the creator of 'O Human Star' for some reason but apparently not?#goddammit goddammit goddammit#'i don't have to write down the title of this piece of media i encountered in my formative years bc i'll always remember it'#*cut to ten years later frantic googling*#fun fact 'a.i.' is now a completely useless search term#google in general is useless#and stuff i read 3+ years ago regularly vanishes from the internet#bookmarks are not enough! if you like indie media--download that shit! buy digital/physical copies while you can#save it to the cloud back it up and organize that shit!!!#keep a list of the stuff you read (organized by date/media type and possibly with keywords if you want it to be useful longterm)#(or a spreadsheet even if you're like me and rabidly consume short stories/comics like a pack of amnesiac piranhas on a feeding frenzy)#(that stuff PILES UP over the years ok. if you wanna make sure you'll be able to find it again a decade later--curation is key)#because art WILL touch your soul and then vanish into the void leaving naught but a 404 Error in its wake#i am an old man shaking my fist at the kids on my lawn but the kids on my lawn are me and my longterm digital planning skills circa 2012
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Hot 4am take but I feel like if we want to get people more interested in making their yards a more habitable space for wildlife like insects, we have to acknowledge that ‘Don’t want bugs in your house’ is still a 100% fair and valid point of view. ‘Loves nature’ and ‘doesn’t want roaches spiders and mosquitoes in the house’ aren’t opposites.
And with that in mind, when we propose to people that spraying pesticides around houses is Not A Good Idea, Actually, I feel like we need to give an alternative asides from ‘deal with it.’
#solarpunk#anti pesticides#ani rambles#this is coming from personal opinion at 4am keep that in mind but like#I’m scared of roaches. i’m fine with them outside though#my parents dont like roaches and for good reason. they spray Ortho Home Defense along the veeery edge of the concrete by the doors to#keep roaches and shit from coming in because yknow. Florida.#if I tell them ‘hey actually we shouldn’t spray pesticides inside (ie raid spray) or outside (ie home defense)#theyre gonna ask wtf to do instead to prevent roaches#and if I tell them ‘nothing suck it up buttercup’ they’re gonna laugh and then double down on the sprays#we gotta have an alternative ready and honestly maybe I’m not looking in the right places but I genuinely don’t know of any#like one online friend told me leaving brush piles around the yard decreased the amount of bugs trying to come in but like#thats one person. anecdotal. and I haven’t seen anything online confirming that as a thing (yet)#idk man I’m going to bed.#might delete later#house pest saga
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Ellie isn't allowed to travel alone Anymore
So! Ellie was raised in a Lab by a Genuine Bonefied Supervillain. She was raised to be a Villain as well, so her Moral Conpass is a little skewed.
Sure she *mostly* knows what is right and wrong from Danny's quick lesson before her Adventure around the Country, but she still has trouble separating what is moral and what is not from time to time.
So it's really no surprise that the moment she left Amity Park she somehow ended up being branded a Villain.
Look, it's not her fault she didn't know not to attack the flying guy in Blue Spandex when he approached her! One of Danny's biggest warnings shen she left had been Stranger Danger! She did what any 12 year old girl would have done when approached by a strange Older Man!
Its also not her fault that her powers (being Magic based), managed to affect him! She didn't even use her full power! (She maybe should have kicked him in a different place tho...she hopes he wasn't planning on having kids...)
So she did what her instincts told her to do. She took any money he had on him and ran the hell away!
It wasn't until she was 2 cities over when she saw a newspaper titled, "Little Villain Girl Mugs Superman in Broad Daylight!", that she realized she may have screwed up...
After that, she really had no excuse.
She knew that she probably shouldn't have kept Mugging the Heroes who approached her, but she wasn't a Fenton for nothing! Her Family Motto had always been "Commit to the Bit", and she was gonna stick to it!
So when the Fast Red Guy tried to tie her up, she phased off all his clothes and took off with his money (not the mask, she knew enough not to take that off)
And when the Grumpy Bat Guy tried to corner her with some weird papers he pulled out of his Belt, she just distracted him while her clone picked his pockets and made off with the wheels of his Car. That one made her a pretty penny!
The flying Green Guy was fun, his attacks were just throwing Ghost Candy (pure willpower) at her. He did stop doing do after she nicked his fancy talking Ring however, but it was fun while it lasted
Then she came across a Orange Fish Guy, and he actually seemed nice enough. But she was committing to the Bit, so she took the fancy Trident he had and sold it at a nearby Pawn Shop for some extra cash. He would probably be able to find it, that's why she chose a nearby location.
All in All, her Adventure had been really fun! So she decided to visit Amity Park again to tell Danny all about it!
...
Aquaman walked into the meeting room of the Watchtower, a very frustrated look in his eye.
Barry spoke up first, "Oh! I know that look in your eye! She got to you too didn't she!"
Arthur just glared at Barry for a second before walking over to his Chair, sitting down with a thump. "She is certainly a tricky child."
"What did she take this time?" Clark asked.
"..mttrident..." Arthur grumbled out quickly.
"What was that?" Asked Barry with a twinkle in his eye. He heard it, but he wanted everybody else to know.
"She took my trident, Okay!" Arthur shouted out.
"I feel ya man." Responded Hal, "At least with me she threw it back at me when she realized it wasn't making 'candy' anymore. What did she do with yours?"
"She sold it at a Pawn Shop!" Arthus yelled in frustration, "She managed to steal one of the most Powerful Magical Weapons in the world, the Symbol of the entire Atalantean Royal Bloodline, and she sold it and a Pawn Shop!"
"...how much did she get for it?" Asked Hal.
At this, Aquaman just collapsed to the table and groaned.
...
Alternatively she could have just kept all those things, and gradually built up a collection of all the JLA's most treasured possessions.
She has Supermans Wallet, not very important to him but it was her first mugging
She has Batmans Utility Belt (trackers removed) along with his Tires
She took Flashes Costume Ring (his civilian clothes still stuck inside)
She took Green Lanterns ring as well, but unfortunately it managed to escape after a few days. It was feisty.
And her crowning Jewel is the Trident she took from Aquaman.
(She avoided WW, cause she likes her too much to steal anything from her)
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dc x dp#Dcxdp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Scum#Ellie is a little shit#Ellie is a Supervillain#Technically#She kicked Superman in the Balls and took all his money#And then did the same for basically every other Hero she met#The Public knowd her as a Villain on a power trip who wants to humiliate all the Heroes she can come across#The JLA knows she is just a Kid but still don't know if she is being malicious or not#Arthur knows that the next time he sees that kid it's on sight#Danny is obviously unaware of Ellie's antics#He gets a surprise when Aquaman shows up at his Door asking to square up with his little sister#Danny thinks she just made a new friend#Ghosts bond by fighting trope#Danny walks into the shed late one night to find a pile of Stolen Hero Property
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I don't remember this but HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIITT LLOYD WAS CONFIRMED TO BE AT LEAST 9 YEARS OLD HERE AND HE WAS ABLE TO DO THAT??? JESUS FUCK
#This might be proof that lloyd is quite jacked#i mean lloyd literally cracked the entire floor split open under ONE fucking FIST#and in dragons rising lloyd literally blocked the empress' sword on her big mech with his tiny ass gold sword#and lloyd also literally lifted and threw kai across the ship in dragons rising too..#and in the magazine comics (not entirely canon sadly) lloyd threw a big ass enormous fucking vengestone mech in his oni form with his HANDS#ANNNNDDD lloyd can even handle the power of the source dragon in dragons rising..#ANNNNNDD the original ending for crystallised was gonna be about lloyd lost in his oni form and beating the overlords ass and rule ninjago..#in which apparently the ninja save him from the power of FRIENDSHIP#lloyd literally fell on piles of glass and wasn't bothered by it#HE WAS 9 AND HE FELL ON PILES OF GLASS WITH NO HESITATION!?!?!#fucking OUCH#and yet wu says lloyd is “the wise one” fuck that shit he should become a GOD#lloyd literally risked to sacrifice his life to the three dragon cores in dragons rising like holy fucking shit I'd marry him#if lloyd was a villain I'd fucking root for him so hard I'd be on my knees they should make it happen PLEASE PLES PLEASEE#sorry i love lloyd hes my wife#ninjago#ninjago fandom#lloyd garmadon#lloyd montgomery garmadon#lloyd garmadon ninjago#ninjago lloyd#lloyd ninjago#ninjago lloyd garmadon
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..•Perception Distorted•..
#casart#sanders sides#virgil sanders#anxiety sanders#heeyyyyy wowie some good ol' virge art<3#kinda getting some feelings out w this one coz my depression and anxiety have not been great#shit really piling on and giving me a lot of distorted thoughts and dissociative episodes haha#anyways time to give my problems to my boy!! ah yes healthy coping uwu
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›› pairing: astarion x reader
›› wordcount: 1.9k
›› genre: established relationship, smut, fluff.
›› rating: 18+, mdni
›› synopsis: got a request for pregnant tav and astarion taking place after the events of the game. this is that.
›› warnings: pregnant!reader, impreg, biting, mentions of blood drinking.
the grounds of the manse are still, quiet, as you examine yourself in the full-length mirror by the window. cloud cover has been rolling in all day; a storm is brewing. you wish it would just arrive already — you’ve always loved the rain. and any excuse to spend the afternoon in bed with your beloved while rainfall pounds at the windows is a good one to you.
you turn this way and that, examining the subtle swell of your belly. that’s not the only change you’ve noticed, of course; your hips and thighs are a shade larger, your breasts more plump, arms slightly too thick to fit into most of your tunics anymore.
at the moment a sheer, lacy negligee drapes from your shoulders, the bottom hem barely brushing the backs of your thighs.
just as you start to grimace and turn from the mirror, a knock at the door distracts you.
❝ is my love decent? ❞ astarion’s dulcet tones make your legs quake and a tenuous bout of gooseflesh prick your arms.
❝ as though you’d care either way, ❞ you purr. a moment ago, you were desperate to get away from the reflection in the mirror. now, you stand your ground, waiting for him to enter.
which he does, beautiful body sliding between door and frame as his crimson gaze finds you. he sighs, wistfully, and his bare feet make quiet shuffling noises along the hard wood floor as he approaches. ❝ what can i say other than that you’re right? you are utterly indecent and i have to be honest. i prefer you this way … ❞ those last words spoken right into your ear send a shiver down your spine, your lashes fluttering before flying open again.
this. this is why you so suddenly changed your mind about abandoning your post in front of the mirror. it’s been enchanted. ever since your return to baldur’s gate, both your and astarion’s fortunes have vastly improved. not only monetarily, though it’s certainly been fun to watch your coffers steadily rise and eventually overflow. but also your general quality of life; not only do you have a special midwife who’s been helping to check on the babe from time to time, making the periodic blood meals it requires more palatable for you, but every mirror in the house has been magicked to be able to show a vampire’s reflection.
❝ admiring yourself? ❞ astarion’s voice is unbearably low and intoxicating in your ear. you nearly fall into his arms, as one wraps itself around your waist, hand cupping your belly. ❝ … i know i am. ❞
your hands come to brace themselves on astarion’s forearms, running back and forth, though you’re comforting yourself more than you are him. ❝ just the opposite, ❞ you all but spit. ❝ i don’t look like myself anymore. these changes, they … they disgust me. ❞
suddenly, you’re being whirled, losing your footing. but astarion is there, hands on your biceps, drawing you close and pressing his mouth fiercely to yours.
you melt, fingers clutching at the collar of his tunic, trying to pull him impossibly closer.
just when you think he’s sucked all the air from your lungs, he presses you back and allows you to breathe again.
❝ i don’t ever want to hear you talking about yourself like that again. and i do mean ever. ❞ gentle fingers swipe a lock of hair back from your forehead. ❝ you’re carrying my child; how could you possibly be disgusting? ❞
at a loss for words, you let him wheel you slowly back around to face the mirror. chin hooked over your shoulder, his scorching carmine gaze roves over you. slow hands part the lapels of your negligee, traipsing over all of your newest curves. ❝ look at this beautiful body ... ❞ his voice is low and hot, splashing molten waves over your entire body. ❝ and it's all mine. ❞
in one swift move, he sinks his teeth into your neck, making you moan and squirm against him. he doesn't drink from you anymore, not when you need all the energy you have to keep up with the life growing inside of you. but it's enough for him to continue to mark you, never letting your bites heal fully before he leaves more.
❝ astarion ... ❞ his name is a plea on your lips as you lean back into him, a solid pressure against your back.
❝ i can smell you, ❞ is his response, one hand traveling steadily downward, ❝ getting so wet for me. it happens more often now that you're pregnant, have you noticed? i certainly have. ❞
you want to tell him that it's not like the two of you weren't having sex every single night before. but now you're having sex every morning, too. and afternoon. and evening …
instead, you swallow thickly and swerve onto your other path of thinking. the path that focuses on the heat between your legs, thighs already sticking together as astarion slips a hand between them and cups your sex.
❝ please tell me you were wearing this — ❞ he plucks a piece of flimsy fabric from the negligee between his teeth. ❝ — for easy access? ❞
❝ of course. ❞ it hadn’t even crossed your mind.
astarion releases a shaky breath and steps away from you. you miss him immediately. ❝ get on the bed. ❞ normally he would throw you onto it, bthe two of you are taking every precaution for the baby.
climbing onto the soft bedspread of your giant four-poster bed, you allow astarion to come after you, crawling, hunting you as if you were his prey. the softest, sweetest prey he’d ever encounter.
legs spread, you welcome him between them, where his hardness presses — warm and insistent — against your wetness. but he still has his breeches on.
you hook a finger into the waist and tug, letting the fabric snap back against his alabaster skin. ❝ these, i think, need to come off. ❞
❝ why, i do believe you’re right. ❞ using his roguelike reflexes, the trousers are gone before you know it and his erection is jutting up, thick and hard, against his stomach. the sight is enough to make you salivate.
normally you’d put it in your mouth straight away, but pregnancy has made you overly sensitive to nausea and you really don’t want to chance ruining this lovely afternoon. so you pull him down by his tunic and kiss him again, your tongues slipping, dancing, enjoying themselves.
one of astarion’s hands has found itself down between your legs again, and he parts from you to whisper, ❝ you’re so wet … i think i could just … ❞
he trails off, and the head of his cock finds your entrance. gentle fingers splay your lips apart and he guides himself right into you, gliding easily along your slick walls. this is not the first time you’ve gotten wet so easily for him and certainly won’t be the last.
you pull your legs back, hooking your arms around your knees to hold yourself open for him. you’ve made this exact shape with your body many times before, and not always in a bed as comfortable as this one. but the extra weight you’ve put on makes holding the position a touch more difficult this time, and one of your legs slips from your grasp, knocking astarion hard in the side.
❝ gods, sorry! ❞ you reach for him, to make sure he’s okay, but the vampire catches your hand easily and pins it to the bedclothes, fingers twined with yours.
❝ never apologize to me, my love. you have no need to. you could ravish me, and still i would thank you. ❞
the thought makes your toes curl; being with astarion hasn’t always been easy, especially when you first met. but now … especially now that you’re pregnant, his desire to dote upon you has grown immeasurably. you want nothing more than to bask in the intensity of his gaze forevermore … and to give birth to his child, of course, but that is still months off.
❝ i still c-can’t believe, ❞ you stutter as he begins to thrust, ❝ you actually managed to get me pregnant. ❞
astarion covers your swollen belly with one of his perfect hands, and both of you watch your breasts sway as he fucks you. ❝ my dear, i was so full of your blood that night i’d be surprised if you don’t give birth to twins. ❞
the thought makes your head swim, your legs clench around his waist, drawing him in, wanting him so much deeper.
neither of you had strictly known that was how it worked; that the more blood a vampire had drunk, the more virile they’d become. not until conducting some research and investigation after you’d mysteriously missed your cycle that month.
needless to say, however, both of you were beyond thrilled.
❝ careful, ❞ you jest, with your legs still tight around him, urging him on. ❝ don’t want to poke the baby’s eye out. ❞
astarion chuckles, leaning down to lay a chiding bite to your chest, fully on display now that the opposites sides of your negligee had fallen completely open. ❝ i don’t claim to be an expert, but i don’t think that’s how it works, love. ❞
as if to prove his point, his hips start to piston in and out of you. harder, faster, astarion holds your gaze as he all but begins to plow you.
pregnancy has made you sensitive in ways you couldn’t believe were possible. the ridges of his fat cock dragging against your tight walls make the room go fuzzy, the bed canopy above you shifting and twinkling like a sky full of stars.
your hands are in his hair, tugging, drawing a hiss from him as he tosses his head back against your ministrations.
he growls, tight and low, that he wants to see you cum, wants to see you lose yourself for him. and you can’t help but obey.
your entire body seizes, toes curling in the sheets, and astarion fucks you through it with harsh, demanding thrusts. you’re so wet that his cock makes sticky sweet noises every time he enters you.
it takes him no time at all, after that, to finish for you. this time you pull your legs back as far as possible and tell him to cum as deep inside of you as he can, wishing to every god you believe in that he could get you pregnant again now, fuck another baby into you.
the one already inside of you is demanding enough, but you can’t help but marinate on astarion’s earlier words: what if you’re having twins? the thought fills you with inexplicable joy, heart pounding big and broad in your chest.
astarion sighs and slips to the side of you, sliding down to place his cheek against your belly. ❝ see? i don’t think he minds at all … ❞
❝ oh? and how do you know it’s a he? ❞ you can barely catch your breath to ask, fingers brushing hair back from astarion’s sweaty forehead.
❝ i don’t. but if you have a boy, you can be guaranteed i’ll be getting you pregnant again as fast as i can, so that he’ll have a sister to keep him in line. ❞
#so basically you and astarion live in a gigantic mansion in the city#watching your gold pile up#fucking all day#sounds just like what they deserve after the shit they went through#my writing#astarion hc#astarion x reader#astarion x you#astarion smut#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 smut#f!reader
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Was Marinette gonna say "Oh you Dirtbag!" or "Oh you Dickhead!"?
Definitely "Oh, you DICK!" for multiple reasons.
#Nooroo being made to call him 'master' was just the shit cherry on the garbage pile sundae to her#sl ask
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If you want to question your self-esteem and get imposter syndrome, post on Instagram. There is no other platform that screams "hey! nobody gives a shit!" louder than IG. Unless you're a model or influencer, then people will pay attention.
Instagram has given me THE most stress when it comes to creating and posting art. I can't post what I want over there because if it's not the exact thing my audience looks for, that'll tank engagement further. No room for diversity or artistic exploration.
#text#I wouldn't use it if only clients didn't hover over that shit like flies to a pile of poop#rant
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idk ill probably never finish this
#ladynoir#wip#ml#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#ladybug#ladybug x chat noir#marinette#adrien agreste#think this was based off some old drawing I loved a million years ago but I can't remember the artist or the drawing but I can see it#vaguely in my brain#add it to the big pile of shit I never finish
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byler x jurassic park. thank you for your time.
#listen jurassic park is one of my Medias Of All Time#like. fundamental to understanding suni astrobi fr fr fr#i watched it for the millionth time on the plane a couple days ago and was thinking Such Thoughts#re: ellie will#bc they r both empathetic and sweet and nerdy but brave and will not take shit#and also paleobotanist will is so. SOOOOO.#and also re: alan mike#bc they r both a little grumpy and aloof and closed off at first interaction#but warm up to their loved ones and are protective and strategic and kind and also a huge fucking nerd#i can’t get them out of my head#they r in there like a worm in my brain .#also re: the scene where ellie helps the triceratops#imagining will pausing to help it when it’s sick#internally gagging while shoving his arms into the poop pile bc it’s disgusting but Powering Through#hm.#this one’s for thea btw my jurassic park loving partner in crime#she gets me. she rly gets me.#mike wheeler#will byers#byler#/astro draws
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somehow, in the betrothed au, SUN, of all himbos, is the most smooth of the three morons. i mean he's a total wreck at most things (baking) but so far he's the only one that's flirted WITHOUT immediately turning into a tiny pile of shame and regrets afterwards. wait he might be the only one thats flirted period, the other two idiots cant even think abt it without almost imploding.
Sun: 1
Moon: 0
Eclipse: 0
#betrothed au#royalty au#royal sun#servant reader#royals and servant#fnaf au#bones of a rabbit au#silly fluff#hurt and comfort#comfort to fluff#hurt/comfort#longing and loneliness#fnaf sun x reader#fnaf sun x y/n#doodles#sketches#srry for how ugly these doodles are btw lol *dies*#god i wishh i could get my shit together and post here more consistently im sorry#anyway#*turns into a pile of wet leaves*
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Friends. A poll.
You know what you must do.
#currently gilded age is winning and it's a steaming pile of shit with nice costumes#ofmd#pirate poll#our flag means death
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in the nicest way possible y’all are delusional if you think ts4 will get better within the years it’s literally been 10 years with 76 packs and counting worth around $1,200 AND COUNTING plus bugs with each pack release/patch and no foreseen fixes or refreshes… let’s come back to earth for a second
#this sounds very bitchy but i just had to word vomit this#get it off my chest#but let’s be real#if ts4 had any plans for improvement shit would’ve been done a LONG time ago#but instead we’re getting 5 dollar packs left and right#with bugs attached to them#the new bugs piling on top of the old ones#lack luster shallow content#it’s just right there in our faces#and for those who say well ts5 might end up being the same shit#well it goddamn might be#but feeding into ts4 will get better trope must be so draining imo#it’s been 84 years#she’s too oxidized we gotta let her go 🫡#chatter
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it's Sprinkle Sorting Hours!!!
#I GET TO MAKE!!! THREE PILES!#oh boy oh boy sprinkle sorting....#SHIT DO I HAVE A JAR FOR THIS??? im sure i have a tiny one somewhere#OH MY GOD I THINK THESE CAN FIT IN MY TINY COKE BOTTLE SALT SHAKER#YAYYYYY IVE BEEN WANTING TO PUT SOMETHING IN THAT THING FOR AGES!#now is its time to shine...#unless not all of the sprimkles fit... i hope they do!#photos from the bog#oh no. i dont think they will#well fuck. ill figure Something out! worse comes to worse i'll get a little jar sometime this week#and i'll Resort them!! i doubt i'd mind!#i do so enjoy making little color coded piles...
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Time loop fic set during season 2 when Jamie’s back around but Roy isn’t coaching yet where it takes Jamie and Roy an embarrassing amount of do-overs before they finally realize they’re both caught in it because for days Jamie goes over to Keeley’s place and antagonizes Roy in basically the exact same way because he thinks making the same stupid old man jokes all the time is funny anyway and any slight changes in conversation he just assumes is because he showed up at a different time or worded his own end of the conversation a little differently but Roy’s still basically saying the same grumpy old man shit anyway
And Roy makes basically the same retorts every time because he stands by it and he assumes Jamie shows up at slightly different times looking for Keeley as a butterfly effect of his morning with Keeley being different but that there’s no escaping him showing up to be a little bitch at some point
And like they both sometimes tell people but not the same people on the same version of the day so Keeley individually thinks that both of them are losing it on different versions of the day before eventually they both mention it
And then on like day 5 of the same day over and over Jamie doesn’t show up and Roy is irrationally angry about it but thinks it must be somehow connected to the fact that he was acting absolutely insane with Keeley trying to explain what’s happening while she thought he was fucking with her and somehow that made her brush off Jamie and him not show up or something?
And it takes Jamie showing up at 100 and just tearing Roy apart and going on about what a dick he is (which isn’t unusual but isn’t how this routine goes) and weirdly fixating on how he was excited to meet Roy but then he ended up just being an old washed up prick that never even gave him a chance because Jamie figures he can just show up, yell at Roy for all the reasons he’s so fixated on being a little asshole with a grudge against Roy in particular to get it out of his system, and then never have to deal with any consequences of Roy finding out about the whole embarrassing having been a big fan and expecting it to be so cool to play on a team with him just to immediately get offended that Roy didn’t give a shit about him and his bullshit and so Jamie ended up hating him thing
But instead Roy just scowls at him and is like “that’s not what you’re supposed to say” and Jamie’s like “…what.” And Roy’s like I’ve done this day like ten times already and either I make Keeley think I’m certifiable first thing in the morning and you don’t show up or else you show up looking for her and then make the same completely uncreative old man jokes at me and Jamie’s like what the fuck I’ve been doing this same day over and over and you’ve been making the same shitty jokes that weren’t funny the first time over and over again
And Keeley’s just sitting there watching this like “Are you two fucking with me? I can’t believe you two got along long enough to plan whatever the fuck this is.” And honestly, the fact that she couldn’t imagine them ever getting along to plan this stupid joke and agree on it is the main reason she actually starts to believe them that time in an okay either I’ve completely lost it or you two are stuck in a time loop kind of way and when she starts going on about how every time loop movie there’s like a moral the person has to learn and maybe they’re both caught in it because they’re supposed to learn how to get along and be friends and Roy’s supposed to take Ted’s offer and that’s how Jamie finds out about the Ted trying to convince Roy to coach thing
But they’re both like fuck no absolutely not, that’s not it and I’d rather be stuck in this stupid fucking loop forever than voluntarily spend time with him let alone get along (as if Jamie hasn’t shown up to annoy him practically every version of the day and Roy hasn’t just been sitting there waiting for him every time) and then they actively avoid each other for like a week’s worth of versions of the same day before they start considering that Keeley might have been on to something but it still takes three more days of pointedly not seeking the other out and waiting for the other to give in first before they run into each other at Ted’s place anyway and finally start actually swapping information they’ve picked up from their loops and what they’ve tried changing to try to get out and discussing ways to try to get out of it while Ted’s just sitting there cracking jokes and making annoyingly similar to what Keeley said comments about how in time loop and body switch things it’s always that you have to learn to see things from another perspective and be nicer to someone you don’t usually see eye to eye with before you can get out (Ted doesn’t actually believe they’re stuck in a time loop though, he’s just going well weird hypothetical but I’ll play along if this almost certainly made up scenario is what it takes for them to have an actual conversation with each other)
#Roy’s going to be PISSED when he shows up agreeing to coach and start right then one of the versions of the day insisting he’s only doing#it to get out of the day or rule it out as the answer and instead he LOVES IT and then wakes up on the same fucking day anyway#So he not only has to admit that he actually wants to coach and other people were right but he’s also right fucking back again anyway#But he’s also still in his coach everyone but Jamie era at that point and he’s gonna have to not be before they get out#I have more thoughts but I am tired#Jamie not showing up actually had nothing to do with anything Roy or Keeley did he was just trying doing other shit#Might eventually write this as like a pair of fics in a series one from Roy’s pov and one from Jamie’s pov where their versions of the same#days get posted in the same chapters of each#This is another thing for the pile of things I might turn into something eventually#Ted Lasso#Jamie Tartt#Roy Kent#RoyJamie#Keeley Jones#Roy x Keeley x Jamie#Mine
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