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chushanye · 1 year

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Across the Spider-Verse was so weird because it's over two hours of just build-up with no payoff? This whole movie felt like a set up for the third part in the way the MCU does. And the thing is, they introduced two very interesting topics: parenthood and "opposing" police and then didn't deliver on either. The parenthood storyline featured set-ups like Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew) and her baby. Gwen's "will you adopt me?" and possible found family especially with the repeated discussions on mentorship later in the movie. Gwen's dad commenting on how difficult parenthood is. Rio talking about how hard it is to let go of Miles being her little man. Jeff's talk with spider-man and that thing about spreading his wings. Peter B. Parker and Mayday. Miguel losing his daughter. Like there were so many threads that connected this theme of parenthood and kids learning how to be kind and responsible from adults but that they still need freedom and healthy rebellion even against loved ones. but it never went anywhere and none of it felt connected. at least not within this movie...which is 2h 20min long.

The scene where Miles is about to tell Rio he is Spider-Man could have been so interesting because the thread connecting all spider-people was NEVER cops- it was "Uncle Ben". It was and always has been family, grief, parental role-models and responsibility. but what also connects them is that all of these spider-people lied to their loved ones about their secret identity. right? like lack of communication and lying in order to "protect" them. and while the scene where you realize Miles went into the wrong universe was done fantastically - the music and atmosphere was so good - imagine how good it would have been if Miles chose to break the cycle of pain and death by being open with Rio. he breaks the cycle by being responsible, honest and having trust in his family! and they have to learn how to let him go and "fly" while trusting he will come home safe and that they will be able to care for him. + it would tie at least one theme in this movie together. but it was a fake out scene instead.

but this movie couldn't fully deliver on the parental theme because it goes hand-in-hand with the weird pro-cop thing. you have spider-punk who is there to question all authority but he can't be in the movie for too long because you just KNOW he's anti-police and we can't have that in this movie that literally relies on the assumption that what makes spider-people spider-man is that a fucking police chief dies. and also the whole spider organisation imprisoning anomalies and being judge jury and executioner of what is "right" for the multiverse, and Miguel BEATING THE SHIT out of Miles while telling him he was the original anomaly, that he is a mistake, and so on...(and lets not forget Miles is a young Black boy and all of this carried implications) and the whole plotline that the whole reason this spider-society exists is to specifically target MILES.....bro the implications are so fucking concerning.

and i mean from the first movie miles wants to become spider-man to "help" people the way his dad does so pro-cop idolization was there from the start. but then this sequel attempts to have some criticism of it as well with Gwen's storyline with her dad. where he almost shoots and attempts to arrest her. and i was watching that scene and thinking "you know this is really good criticism because it shows that 'good' cops aren't a thing because they fundamentally are there to protect a system and not actual justice." but then later in the movie they do a 180 and Gwen straight up goes "you're one of the good cops dad. you pick up that badge because if you didn't, worse people then you would" and it's like what kind of "not all cops. the good ones are somehow exempt from the system" bullshit is that? and i thought when she said "you're a good cop, dad" that she was gonna follow it up with "but you're a bad person because of it." and that would have been such a banger line and i got so hyped because that line was so good in my head but no they just straight up went the pro-cop route. also the whole "the thread that connects all spider-men is the death of a chief of police" made no fucking sense. why would the death of his girlfriends dad be super personal to Pavitr and motivate him to be a better Spider-Man???? literally what. WHY was the "thing that connects all spider-men" made to be a fucking police chief. like I'm sorry that's literally so stupid I was sitting there so fucking confused like "it was family????? the line was always with great power comes great responsibility and that they learn the lesion from someone near and dear to them. and Jeff taught miles to "go by the book" and Mile's opposing this spider-society is him refusing to do that (tying into the theme of rebellion) -> so he thematically realizes he need to oppose organisations that follow rules fundamentally opposed to his morals of not killing people....but he doesn't question his dads job? idk between that parallel and spider-punk, and gwen and her dad i thought something fruitful was gonna be there

but i guess i should be that surprised because marvel has been ramming the pro-military and pro-state propaganda for years now. it just feels so performative in this movie where gwen has "protect tans kids" on her wall and miles has a "BLM" pin.

#it is very late idk if any of this makes any sense #marvel #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #into the spider verse #spider man #miles morales #spiderman atsv #atsv spoilers #atsv

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clarebear-0925 · 2 months

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Flowers, Fight Scenes and Isolation: My Prediction for the Future (And Possible Ending) of Jujutsu Kaisen

Hi. So seeing this extra for volume 26 finally spurred me to articulate all of my thoughts on this subject in one place. Sorry for the length, but let me cook.

Here's the big idea: I believe that Gojo is in fact going to come back— but with a major catch.

Lets review the (mostly theme-based) evidence, shall we?

Firstly, throughout the entire series, we know that Gojo has been incredibly lonely, isolated at the top by Jujutsu society,

As summed up by this iconic panel, with just him, vast empty white space, and his title, the only thing that most people know him for/define him by, aka “the strongest.”

We also know that isolation played a big role in his mental state and thinking until his death, and is something that Gege made sure to reemphasize during his last moments in chapter 236.

In this conversation, Gojo expresses the gap he felt and also sets up the connected imagery of him and flowers.

(In addition, I feel as though it is also significant that the person he finally opens up to about his feelings on this isolation is Geto- more on that later).

Next, JJK is commonly nicknamed “jumpkaisen” as a joke by fans due to how often the characters team up against the villains. However, I think this pattern actually has more significance in the overall narrative than being a funny quirk.

Over the course of the series, we have seen all sorts of teamups between a wide variety of characters- like the widespread jumpkaisen nickname suggests, they are an iconic part of JJK's combat.

However, one character in particular is exempt from this trend- Gojo. (and also Sukuna but we’ll get into that later too.)

He is always fighting alone- as an adult, we never see him fight alongside anyone else the way that other characters do. Even the villains note this when planning their battle strategy:

This is is made especially clear in the final battle (especially with the contrast between the mostly solo Gojo v Sukuna fight and the absolute dogpile that is going on in the manga right now).

The only times we ever saw Gojo fighting alongside another person is with Geto in his youth. Geto is also the only person who didn’t him as “the strongest.” Instead, they were the strongest together, and that is reflected in how they fought together.

But then after everything in Hidden Inventory, Geto too starts to see that gap between him and Gojo.

This results in him leaving Gojo, thus permanently isolating him as “the strongest.” (See also the change from "we're the strongest" in the Hidden Inventory Arc to "I'm the Strongest" in JJK episode 2).

We never see him fight with another person after that.

Ok, so now let’s put these two points (Gojo's isolation and its connection to the fight scenes) to serve up a prediction.

I believe that Gojo is going to come back severely weakened to the point that he will finally have to (or be able to) fight WITH others- in particular, the students who he has made it his express mission to protect and nurture so they can go on to improve Jujutsu society.

This would be in sharp contrast to Sukuna, who has continually refused any chance or notion of love and connection, likely due to his belief that it is unattainable due to his strength.

(Serena on TikTok has an amazing and concise video on this topic- go watch it if you're interested in a better understanding)

I also think that this development would be a great way to show that Gojo HAS been successful in his goal to nurture a better future of Jujutsu- rather than the society isolating and systematically breaking students like it did Geto, the students are now all working together to defeat this insurmountable evil.

So, in conclusion, yes, Sukuna will in fact be defeated by the power of love and friendship (and a couple dozen or so black flashes), and it is NOT Gojover.

Also, here is some vital supplemental information (again from the amazing Serena) regarding the flower depicted on Gojo’s cover and the volume 26 extra.

I think the fact that Gojo compared himself to a flower in Chapter 236 as he died, and the fact that the flower in the supplemental (who he is clearly connected to via the cover art) hasn’t hit the ground yet is a very good (and more concrete) sign for his chances of returning.

Thank you for reading and sorry for the length! I would love to know your guys' thoughts on this theory and what you think will happen in the future of JJK! :)

#hi i know i already posted this but i cleaned it up to post on reddit so take the cleaner version here too!!#jjk manga spoilers #jjk #jjk theory #gojo satoru #my ramblings #clare’s tedtalks

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locution-youngster-enjoyer · 2 months

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Which Wordgirl villain would win in a fight?

Rules: No powers or gadgets. Just fists. The only exceptions are if their powers/gadgets are literally part of their bodies. It'll make sense when we get to the fight.

Ranking under the cut because it's a very long post

30. Amazing Rope Guy

Yeah this is a surprise to literally no one. He is considered probably the most pathetic villain in the entire city, and there are characters with absolutely no powers who beat him.

Pretty much every other villain is capable of escaping jail. He isn't. In The Rise of Miss Power and A World Without Wordgirl, he is seen stuck in jail while every other villain escapes or is out and about.

His only other ability other than his mediocre rope skills is his ability to imitate, but that doesn't really help him in a fighting setting.

29. Timmy Tim-Bo

Pretty much as pathetic as Amazing Rope Guy in a fighting setting. I was debating whether or not he should be above or below ARG, but for now i'm leaving him here.

I honestly don't have much to say about him. He most likely passes out mid battle. The only reason he's above ARG is because ARG is more likely to tie himself up in the rope.

28. Royal Dandy

While Royal Dandy is able to shoot paint from his hands and heal any injuries by just painting himself back up, his major disadvantage is that he's a Lady Redundant Woman clone.

Though he's clearly not the same as the other clones, he's still a clone. Lady Redundant Woman is completely capable of just zapping him out of existence.

On top of that, pretty sure he's canonically dead?-

27. Tobey

Some of you may be confused by this, but keep in mind, no gadgets are allowed in this fight. Only fists or any physical enhancements.

Without his 'row-bits,' Tobey is a literal child with zero athletic skills

26. The Coach

This dude is pathetic and sad and is the size of a child. His size may give him an advantage in dodging, but otherwise that's it.

25. Glen Furlblam

So Glen not only doesn't have any superpowers, but he's not very athletic or successful in general.

On top of that, he's a thin dude, so i doubt he'd have a chance at dog piling anyone.

24. Captain Tangent

That is a child with a hook hand he isn't allowed to use. His only advantage is his weight.

23. Victoria Best

Another literal child with zero super powers. (Ok, i get she has the laser eye.. telekinesis... thing, but that doesn't really do much damage)

The only reason she's above Tobey is because of her desire to be the best. If she's the 'best' at everything, that means her parents most likely signed her up for several martial arts, that she could be at least ok at.

22. Brent

Brent is in a similar situation as Tangent, with his only advantage being his weight. Since he is an adult, he has a greater advantage.

21. Mr Big

Mr Big also doesn't have any superpowers and is pretty much in the same boat as Brent. I'd say he's pretty equal to Brent really.

20. Reason

Reason doesn't have any superpowers, but he probably could create reasonable deductions on how to survive somewhat in a fight. Overall, he's just highly outclassed by everyone else.

19. Hal Hardbargain

This guy is really hard to place. I haven't watched a single episode he has a speaking role in, but based on what I have seen, despite the mechanical arm giving him a strength boost, his age and lack of any other powers probably leads to his ass getting kicked.

18. Invisi-Bill

First exception to the 'no powers' rule. The only reason he is exempt from the rule is because his power is a physical part of him.

Despite that, Invisi-Bill doesn't have much of an advantage. Sure he can stay out of harm's way for however long he's willing to stay invisible, but he is a thin guy with no other fighting ability and could easily be knocked out.

17. Big Left Hand Guy

Dude could murder with that hand.... if he knew how to fight. While he could smack someone with his hand, he doesn't have much fighting skill outside of it.

16. Chuck

Once again, no athletic strength. Just the weight advantage.

15. Dr Two Brains

Since there are no gadgets allowed, the doc is in a bit of trouble. However, he's seen to be incredibly quick, even avoiding Wordgirl in some scenes. I feel he can outrun many of the characters, but wouldn't really be able to throw a punch.

14. Ms Question

Kinda the same reasoning as Two Brains, but she could maybe throw a punch. I'm debating whether I should put her below him.

13. Kid Potato

He's an old guy who's not allowed to use his superpowers. Once again, his only advantage is weight.

12. The Butcher

All the same reasoning as his dad, except he's younger, so he's in slightly better shape.

11. Seymour

*deep inhale*

....Ok. Listen.

This mf INFURIATES me when it comes to this. For three reasons.

#1: The Rise of Miss Power

Assuming that every villain was locked away in the jail, that means every villain was able to escape (except for ARG). This includes Seymour which means Seymour either 1. Had someone else break him out or 2. Somehow broke out of the cell on his own.

#2:

Ok, this one may be a bit of a stretch, but it's been on my mind. In 'Tell Her What She's Won!,' Seymour locks Wordgirl and Huggy in a circular labyrinth room that he has control over via controls.

And in that room, Seymour causes the room to spin, flinging Wordgirl and Huggy into the walls.

I'm running off the assumption that in this scene, Wordgirl and Huggy hit the wall (including Huggy later bouncing off the wall in the cupcake game), and the wall doesn't break.

Later in the episode, not only does Seymour manage to stay standing while being tied up in metal bars, but he KICKS THE WALL DOWN???

How come he was able to break down the wall with his leg alone when two superpowered aliens weren't??

#3:

In "Who Wants to Get Rid of Wordgirl?" not only does he challenge Nocan the Contrarian to a duel, but he somehow holds his own in the fight

Admittedly, the fight doesn't last long, so maybe Nocan could've eventually bodied him, but that's still impressive considering Seymour's lack of muscle.

On top of that, he's fighting Nocan ONE HANDED, while Nocan is holding his own sword with two hands.

TL;DR: Seymour just may have the craziest sleeper build of the entire WG cast/hj

10. Lady Redundant Woman

This is another case of a character breaking the no superpowers rule. However, she can't be any higher than this. While she could dogpile people with her clones, she isn't very physically fit and wouldn't be able to do much damage. Plus, her clones aren't unlimited, and so once she runs out, she's in trouble. She's above Seymour because she actually has a superpower.

9. Granny May

Granny May without her super suit is actually pretty agile and quick and would most likely be able to do a good chunk of damage. However, I feel as though there is someone on this list who matches her talent, but has the advantage because of Granny May's age.

8. Leslie

Leslie is an incredibly intelligent karate master several extra skills. I'm kinda sad she can't be placed any higher, because her major disadvantage is that she has zero superpowers. That being said, she's no slouch, as she's been seen to overpower Wordgirl on several occasions.

7. Rhyme

I had to double check Rhyme's wiki because I was so close to placing her really low on the list for some reason. She's another character who breaks the no superpowers rule. Even without her ice-breath, she's got super speed and super strength, which I think just helps her defeat Leslie.

6. The Whammer

Even without his whams, Whammer is actually pretty fit, as he is scene pulling two cars using his waist alone (I forgot what episode, but it's the Coach's debut)

5. Nocan

Nocan and the Whammer are on pretty equal footing, but I think Nocan could be slightly stronger than the Whammer.

4. Eileen

This may seem like pretty high placing for a child, but keep in mind, Eileen is basically if Tobey was one of his robots (meaning she once again breaks the powers rule). She can do pretty intense damage, uprooting trees, severely damaging buildings, and much more.

3. Maria

Maria is a being made from pure electricity. How are you meant to punch her? She does have some weaknesses, which is why she isn't any higher.

2. Miss Power

Yeah this is a surprise to literally no one most likely. She's physically stronger than Wordgirl and all of the other villains, plus she also has super strength and super speed.

But who's above her?

The Learnerer

Ok. Listen. The implications of this guy's super suit makes him pretty insane. He's able to learn anything from seeing it once. It's no wonder why he only showed up in about 3 episodes, because he's way too overpowered. He'll be able to avoid anyone's attacks and fight back. Eventually, he'll learn all of Miss Power's tactics, and wipe the floor with her. This also makes him have the most unique exception to the no superpowers or gadgets rule.

TL;DR: The character voiced by Weird Al-Motherfucking-Yankovic is the strongest character in Wordgirl.

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v3nusxsky · 1 year

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Hi Darling, long time no see. 😉 A little birdie told me you were looking for a Jemily prompt. Well, here's one:

Emily and JJ have a little daughter, right, and her middle name is Penelope because Garcia is her godmother, and her first name could be Rosalyn after JJ's older sister who committed suicide. So it would be Roslyn penelope (Prentiss? Idk) Anway, Pen offers to watch over Rosalyn because it's Em and JJ's anniversary. So, Pen decides that her and Rosalyn are gonna make a cake and card for JJ and Em but end up making a huge ass mess, right. And then when Em and JJ go to pick up Rosalyn, they see that she is covered in marker or cake, whatever, and are like, "wtf is this shit?? Pen, we left you alone with her for like, 4 hours..??." But then there is a wholesome family moment we're Rosalyn gives her mommies their anniversary card and Em and JJ just melt for their little girl and love her so much

Ok, I hope you enjoy the promot, my love 😉

~👋

My Little Lady

*Author note~ okay so I completely love this sm and had to run straight away to write it. Changed the name of the daughter so I’m curious to see if you can get my reasons why, 👋you’re exempt! Feel free to guess in my inbox*

Trigger Warning ~ none?

Prompt~ see ask^^^^^

Since the birth of baby Poppy Rosé Prentiss Emily and JJ hadn’t really had much time to themselves, Emily returned back to work as the chief of the BAU while JJ stayed home with poppy. It was the wedding anniversary for the women and Emily was stressing over not being able to take JJ somewhere special, truly after the birth of their daughter JJ truly deserves it. Thankfully Penelope was always looking for the excuse to sneak some time with her god daughter so naturally she offered to sit pops so they could go have some very much needed adult time.

That was how JJ found herself dressed up to the nines, ready for a night with her wife while rechecking the changing bag for the sleeping baby. “Babe?! We gotta get going” Emily called for you before bringing the infant to settle in her arms. “Jay, I’m gonna go put princess Pops in her car seat” she murmured kissing the blondes cheek lovingly. “Come on then my sleeping princess let’s go get you all settled for aunty penny” she murmured to the raven haired baby.

The short drive to Garcias apparent was peaceful, your little family in their blissful glory. JJ couldn’t help her racing mind, she’d never left poppy before so being a new mother it was certainly something difficult to adjust too. Emily wasn’t faring much better, but working had gotten her use to the feelings that came with leaving her little family. Garcia would take great care of Poppy and it would be nice to have adult time, alone for their anniversary.

Dropping their daughter off, undoubtedly came with tears for JJ. But with some encouragement and kisses to her daughters little face she was persuaded into leaving. Hand in hand the two agents left the apartment, the infant cradled in the blonde tech analyst’s arms. “Who’s the most adorable little baby girl. Now what can we do while your mommy and momma are gone hmm?” She pondered rocking the sleeping child.

Poppy woke from her nap, to immediately smile at her god mother and babble happily. “Shall we go do some cooking my little lady?” And that’s exactly what she did, a simplistic cake letting her cover herself in the mixture and decorations. The little giggles she was making causing the blondes heart to swell. “Oh you are just so adorable little lady, your Auntie Garcias favourite lady” she murmured tickling you, delighting in the giggles and mindless babbles.

While the cake baked, Garcia had set up some paint and paper to make a happy anniversary card. She happily painted her little hands and feet to make imprints for the decoration on it. Happily signing the card from Poppy only to realise the baby was absolutely covered in mess but smiling so beautifully up at Garcia. But before she could clean the little baby up for her mothers they arrived to pick her up.

“Pj, what the heck is that” Emily muttered watching as Jay coed at the baby wriggling in her arms to reach her mommy. “Pops, you’re so messy my girl, were you good for auntie Garcia? “

“JJ, she was absolutely darling to sit, anytime literally any time I’ll happily look after my little cheeky angel, we had so much fun didnt we popsicle” Penelope murmured happily going to get the cake and card with the baby balanced on her hip, “come in you two love birds we got surprises!”

“Pops, hold this for mommy and momma, that’s it good girl” she praised the baby before coming in with the cake, card and baby. “Say happy anniversary mommies!” She giggled happily. “Oh baby girl! Is this all for us?” Jay Jay coed coming to hold her messy child. Emily got slightly emotional and kissed her daughter’s chubby cheek happily. “Thank you so much my princess Poppy” she murmured before thanking Garcia silently. Without Garcia she wouldn’t have been able to pull off the perfect anniversary for her wife.

Poppy giggled and clapped happily before bringing her sticky, paint covered hands to Emily’s cheeks. “Aw pops!” She mock whined causing JJ to laugh at her wife and daughter, the latter now being tickled and lifted into the air by her mother. “Princessssss momma is all stickyyyyyyyyyy” she whined before sitting back down with her baby. It was there that Garcia remembered when Emily ran off to fight Doyle and how she almost didn’t live to have her family. Truly seeing the happy family made her heart swell. After cleaning off their daughter they managed to settle her in her car seat and head home, their perfect little family was something truly worth fighting for.

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #emily prentiss x fem!reader #jemily #jemily fic #jenifer jareau #emily #ssa prentiss #SSA jareau #JJ #emily prentiss fanfiction #Jenifer jareau fanfic #anon requested #👋anon

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voskhozhdeniye · 9 months

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My mother was so afraid of stranger danger that for middle school, she got a special exempt from the school board to send me to a different school in the county. This way, the school bus would drop me off at my now former elementary school, which is where my mother worked. I had to wait in the library until she got off. This separated me from the best friends, and in particular, my best Black friends I had made in elementary school. Looking back now, that distinction was probably intentional. My mother is mixed race. Her grandfather on her mother's side was an Asian immigrant, we believe from Mongolia. His wife was of Native American ancestry. Her father's side of the family is Black. My mother has very light skin. My mother hates Black people.

The first week of school in seventh grade, this is right before September 11th, and right after Aaliyah death.

The teacher goes around the classroom asking each of us questions to introduce ourselves to each other. We all already know each other, but she goes around the room anyway. She gets to me and asks, "What's my favorite TV show?" I confidently respond, "Pokemon!" As an adult, I know Digmon is better, but not at the time.

I then have an entire class of people, many of whom I have known since the beginning of my school career laugh at me for being 12 and still into Pokemon. This makes no fucking sense to me. In June, we were just discussing our favorites. A year or two before parents across the country were banning card trading. Kids were getting beat up for their cards. When did we stop, why wasn't I told?

What they didn't understand was the household I was being raised in. I had beatings over Pokemon, I learned which floorboards creaked so I could sneak out Saturday mornings to watch. Pokemon was how I kept in touch with the kids outside of the church who I wasn't supposed to be friends with. It was all we had in common.

I lost all my friends and was severely ostracized by pretty much everyone. I got bullies, molesters, and bastards. From then to the end of school, I was able to make two friends. One later in middle school, who after graduating high school, I learned was gay, which makes so much sense now, but at the time, we were both so closeted and dealing with the same social situation it never clicked. The friend in high school eventually moved to the west coast, and we "drifted" apart. When I last looked him up, he was married and working at Blizzard. He was a big Guild Wars fan. I bought tickets, and he drove us to my first real concert, Bat For Lashes, in 2009. I was 20. That's the only opportunity I've ever had to do something like that besides when I met up with a mutual on here back in 2019.

That's it, that's the list of friends since I was 12. So I would go to school and get treated like a leper, and then come home and suppress myself to avoid fundamental Christian bullshit.

I've been emotionally dead for 22 years. Last year was the 20th anniversary of the first time I tried to kill myself.

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vincent-sinclair-deserved-better · 1 year

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A Little Bit Of Heaven, A Little Bit Of Hell

I wasn't able to write today because the day drained me and I am frustrated so I'll just split this in two parts I guess (I just want to show it to people asdffgasad)

Characters: Judah (by @bluecoolr), Esther (yet to be introduced? mayhaps?), other minor background characters

Words: 3023

Content warnings: religion/Christianity, religious guilt, bible quotes, it's been years since I was in church so I'm making stuff up as I go, mention of murder - if you need anything else tagged or specifically marked in the text, please let me know

dividers by firefly-graphics

Where my heart becomes free And my shame is undone

It was like paradise.

Or that was what it felt like in comparison to Judah’s home anyway. Sure, most of the people living in Zak would disagree, they were too brainwashed to see what kind of hell they lived in, but he knew. He saw the darkness wherever he looked, the corruption seeping from every nook and cranny, staining everyone and everything. And he knew the source of it, lived with it, the whole house and family tainted by self-righteous lies and false promises. He’d had to get out.

Carmel was different. People were kind and welcoming from the moment he arrived, there was no one watching his every move or monitoring his words. They weren’t suspicious simply due to him being an outsider. There was no constant underlying threat of severe punishment for making a mistake. And he was treated just like everyone else; he didn’t catch spiteful glances thrown his way, nor was he immune to consequences or exempt from rules. For the first time in years, he felt normal and like an equal member of the community.

Also, people genuinely liked and respected the Reverend as opposed to being scared or seeming completely enraptured with him. They came to the services because they wanted to and didn’t get anxious if they missed one.

The town had communal gardens, a bakery, a butcher, all the usual things. It was pretty self-sustained and actual money was only rarely used. Mostly for things that had to be bought from out of town; there were a few people who worked in the city and did supply runs. Everyone helped everyone and did whatever work was needed, to the best of their abilities.

Parents didn’t have to worry about their children getting a place in kindergarten or school since the town had everything. In the community centre, there was a specific area for children who needed to be watched past the time the school ended, and it included free food, activities, and help with homework or studying. Single parents didn’t have to worry about not finding someone to look after and take care of their kids because there was always someone willing to do it. Alternatively, the town had what could probably be most closely compared to boarding schools, where parents who were overwhelmed with childcare could send their children, along with being where orphans lived. Those schools also offered an option for teenage mums to stay and live with their children.

Carmel also offered full support for people who wanted to move away for whatever reason, from kids wanting to attend college over single adults looking for a job and career to families who wanted a change of scenery. They were supported on every step of the way. No questions, no criticism, no judgement, no objections.

Everything was perfect.

So perfect it was outright blinding.

But things don't always come that easy And sometimes I would doubt

He still wasn’t sure if he had actually not seen the signs or if he’d subconsciously ignored them, unwilling to let go of the ideal vision that he’d had in his mind. It was difficult to bring the image of the Reverend’s friendly, helpful brother David into accordance with the devious person Abigail had spent the last half hour describing to him. Still, he couldn’t sense any dishonesty in her voice, and her tearful expression seemed sincere. It pained him to see his usually cheerful and smiling neighbour like this.

“Please,” she said, “I won’t ask your aid, all I need is for you to not tell on us. Not yet, at least.”

Some strands of dark hair that had escaped her braid where clinging to her forehead and cheeks, her skin covered in a mix of sweat and tears. She looked tired and scared. Desperate. He was torn, unsure what was the right thing to do. All he had wanted to do was take out the trash and get ready for a lazy evening, lounging on the sofa and watching TV. He hadn’t expected to catch Abigail and Esther, a girl who helped with a lot of community events, climbing out of a window of the neighbouring house. Esther walked over to them, still holding Abigail’s new-born son. The boy had been fussy and crying, so she had taken him to calm him down.

“They’ll send her to Saint Margaret’s,” she stated simply. The community home for single parents, teenage mums, and struggling families. A good place, build on kindness and compassion. Or so he had thought.

Judah rubbed his temples, watching the boy who was now looking around the room, his chocolate brown eyes filled with curiosity and innocent wonder, “And you’re sure you can’t just- I mean, surely someone would believe and-”

There had to be a solution. Something that didn’t involve him lying and going behind other community members’ backs. There had to. But then again, why would they lie? If what he had been taught before was true, why would anyone want to run away? If the people actually were as supportive and kind as he had thought up until now, why would a first-time mother go through the trouble of sneaking out of the hospital with her baby?

Esther sighed and handed the boy back to his mother, before stepping in front of Judah, looking up at him, “Listen, I know this is a lot to take in, but we don’t have much time. At this point, someone must have noticed her disappearance. They’re probably looking for her already, and it won’t be difficult to figure out that she might want to stop by her former home.”

“It’s just... it just seems so... harsh. Ostracising someone, sending them away or locking them up I could imagine, but outright murder? It’s against everything we believe in, isn’t it?” he said unsure, questioning, not even knowing whether he was trying to convince himself or not.

“I can give you proof, okay? I can prove everything she said and more, just not now,” Esther replied and grabbed his hand, her eyes pleading, “Just go to sleep and act like nothing happened. Pray for forgiveness for all I care. This isn’t your... ‘fight’, for the lack of a better word. You don’t have to get involved, and the sooner we get out of here, the smaller the risk of being seen with us.”

He sighed but nodded, “Alright. I’ll just... I’ll head upstairs, get ready for bed. You do what you must.”

With that he turned and left before either of the women could say another word. When he reached his bedroom, he just sat down on his bed, not even bothering to turn on the light. He just stared into the darkness. This was the exact kind of stuff he had been running from. Secrecy and lies, fear and betrayal. Death. But it seemed like it was impossible; no matter how idyllic a place looked on the surface, corruption spread its tendrils everywhere, slipping through the smallest cracks in people’s faith and seeping into their hearts.

And, contrary to everything he thought he had known, if what the women had said was true, things here were even worse than back home.

Back home?

This thought gave him pause, ripping him out of his contemplation. This was his home. It had been for almost a year now, and that’s what he had thought and felt about it as well. The town, the people, the house – this was his home. The community was his community, his family.

He hadn’t thought of Zak as home in years. It’d been the place he lived, where he was stuck, trapped – his own personal hell. Zak had not been home. It wasn’t home. How could it be? It was led by a bunch of murderers.

Just like Carmel, apparently.

His heart clenched at the thought and his chest hurt. His head hurt too. It was too much, everything was too much, and for the first time since he was a child he went to sleep without proper prayer. All he could muster the energy to do were a few sentences mumbled under his breath, before he lied down and slipped under the blanket. He didn’t even change into his pyjamas.

My life I know it’s never really been mine So do with it whatever You like

Judah had expected there to be some kind of agitation or restlessness the next day, some consequence for what had happened last night – instead everything was as calm and peaceful as always. Nothing had changed. As he stood in the kitchen, waiting for the water to boil, he wondered if it had all just been a dream. Back in Zak someone would’ve already come knocking at the door, ready to take him in for questioning. Nothing escaped Darrell and “The Zakkaites” attention. But there was no knocking, no doorbell, no calls.

Despite feeling exhausted, he did manage to get dressed and attend the 12 o’clock service, half expecting people to give him judgemental or knowing looks, but everyone just smiled at him. Kindness and trust.

Proverbs 28:13 – Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.

He sat down next to the baker, a woman named Sarah, and tried to calm down. At this rate, people were bound to figure out that something is wrong, it was basically written in his face. As if on cue, Sarah nudged him, “Are you alright? You are looking pale.”

“Yeah, I just didn’t sleep well,” he replied, which technically wasn’t a lie.

Sarah nodded and squeezed his hand, “Maybe try and take a nap once you’re back home. You deserve some rest.”

Luke 8:17 – For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.

The service seemed to pass in the blink of an eye while also seeming to last forever. The Reverend had talked about guilt and regret and penance. About how everyone could be forgiven. Judah was ready to go and ask if the Reverend had a moment, that he needed to tell him something, but before he had the chance someone grabbed his arm.

“You ready to talk?” Esther said, piercing blue eyes seemingly staring right into his soul.

“Actually, I was going to-” he began, but she cut him off, “Great, let’s go then.”

With that, she turned around and pulled him with her. He was to stunned to react at first, and didn’t want to draw attention to them either.

“Esther, wait. We can’t just- I can’t just keep quiet about this. It’s wrong,” he said, managing to pull his arm from her grasp and stop. Esther turned to look at him, then their surroundings, and nodded towards an alley, “Can we at least not do this in the middle of the road?”

He sighed, “Yeah, sure.”

They went to the side of the road, just far enough to be out of immediate earshot while also remaining fairly inconspicuous.

“So, what is it? Did all the talk about sin and forgiveness affect you, or were you planning to run off to the Reverend all along?” Esther said, an edge to her voice that almost felt hostile, but was really just bitterness. He felt sorry for her, wondering if her mind was perhaps being affected by guilt she wasn’t aware she was carrying.

“I hadn't really made up my mind going in, I wasn’t sure whether all of last night’s... happenings were actually real or just a dream,” he said slowly, “But the Reverend did bring up some good points. Relatable points. Like, I think it was Psalms 32:3-4, ‘When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.’ - don’t you feel that at all?”

She scoffed, “No. And I strongly doubt David and the Reverend’s other brothers care much about confessing their own wrongdoings either.”

“But it isn’t our place to judge,” Judah replied, “That’s up to the Lord.”

“Isaiah 1:17 – ‘Learn to do right; seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.’” Esther said, “Widows like Abigail. Orphans like the children whose mothers pass in that cursed birth house because if they aren’t deemed worthy, they only receive minimal care. They let people die there, Judah.”

Psalm 120:2 – Save me, Lord, from lying lips and from deceitful thoughts.

“I’m sorry, Esther, but that’s just really hard to believe,” he said, unable to meet her eyes.

Some people had gathered in front of the café just a little down the road, watching their quiet but agitated discussion. Esther clenched her jaw and leaned closer, forcing him to look at her, “So let me speak. Tell you what I know, the other perspective. Just hear me out, or are you so unsure in your faith that you worry you could be this easily deceived? If what I say is untrue, don’t you think you’d be able to tell?”

“If what you say is true it would only prove that I have been deceived already, so how could I trust my own judgement?” he replied, frowning at his insecurity.

“Whatever. If you don’t want to listen, I can’t make. If you prefer to stay blissfully oblivious, be my guest. And if your ‘guilt’ is so much you insist on running off to the Reverend, sure. They’ll be grateful, and whatever will happen to me... well, I have no regrets. I only do what I deem to be right and just. And if I could go back in time, I’d do it all over again,” Esther stepped away from him and straightened her posture, putting on a neutral expression, “Just one more thing for you to consider: Proverbs 11:13 – ‘A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret’. Make of that what you will.”

Everything I once held dear I count it all as lost

Hearing his brother’s words come from Esther’s mouth was like a punch to the gut, and he kept staring at the space she had stood even after she had left. He felt sick. How could it be that the past he had so desperately tried to escape from and forget was catching up to him now? Did Esther know Darrell, or was it just chance? He didn’t know what to believe anymore, his thoughts and feelings in complete disarray, and he prayed for some kind of sign that would show him the right way.

The touch of a hand on his shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts and his gaze met Sarah’s worried expression, “Judah, dear, are you alright? You really aren’t looking well.”

He just stared at her for a moment and opened his mouth to speak, but no words came.

Sarah gently took his arm and lead him across the street, towards the café, “Come, take a seat and have a glass of water. Take a moment to calm down, you seem troubled.”

“I- yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” he replied, voice raspy and almost inaudible.

They found a table right by the window, and the small crowd that had formed dispersed on Sarah and Judah’s arrival. He still felt eyes on him, people watching while walking out. He told himself they were just concerned for his well-being, but it didn’t feel quite right.

It didn’t even take five minutes for a glass of water to be brought while Sarah sat across from him, holding his hand and keeping a watchful eye on him. It was only when he picked up the glass to take a sip that he realised he was shaking, but thankfully Sarah didn’t comment. He didn’t feel like talking about his past. He didn’t even want to think about it.

“You really shouldn’t spend too much time with Esther,” Sarah said, gentle voice having a surprisingly serious edge to it.

He met her gaze, brows furrowed in confusion, “Why not?”

“She’s a bad influence. Hiding it well, though,” the older woman replied, “Her parents have been trying to rein her in for years now, but despite acting all nice and proper on the surface, people know she’s secretly up to no good.”

“But... isn’t she one of the main people planning the gardens? And doing a lot of tutoring in the community centre?”

Sarah sighed, “As I said, she is hiding it well. Just, be careful. Don’t blindly believe what she says, and be prepared for her trying to use her past as a means to gain you sympathy.”

The way Sarah was talking about and describing Esther was so different from what he had seen and her tone rubbed him the wrong way. Despite trying to keep her voice concerned and caring, there was clear judgement. Especially the last part of her sentence sounded almost deprecating. “Her past? What about it?”

“Her older siblings died in a car accident when she was fourteen, she didn’t take it well and started acting up afterwards, running away and doubting the Lord. It got better – or at least more subdued – once she turned eighteen,” she explained, turning to wistfully look out of the window, “She used to be such a good girl, you know? Well behaved, polite, gentle, earnest. Then her sister started getting into her head, telling the poor child Lord-knows-what. The accident was the last straw, and no matter how well she pretends to have returned to that innocent and pious girl she used to be... it is hard to believe. People don’t just change overnight. There’s still something wrong with her, that I am certain of.”

Judah’s stomach twisted, every single word making the feeling stronger, and by the time Sarah had finished speaking, he was feeling nauseated. No matter how hard the older woman had tried to obscure her acrimony towards Esther, attempting to cover it behind pretend compassion and melancholy, it had seeped through, her words dripping resentment. In all the time he had been here, he had never seen anyone express such negativity. Maybe it was a slip-up on Sarah’s part, or maybe he hadn’t paid attention. Either way, he wanted to get out and have some space to think.

tag? tag: @probably-a-plant-thing @solmints-messyocdiary @visceravalentines @goldrose-star @rottent33th @immortal-velociraptor @myers-meadow @ace-of-hearts-and-spades

remember, remember, the fifth of November to tell me if you don't want to be tagged, I know all the AU and OC stuff isn't for everyone, not everyone cares about all OCs etc. I won't be offended, promise <3

#cylas writes #judah todd #blues ocs #i literally looked up biblical/christian town names #esther burr

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peppertaemint · 1 year

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It’s weird for me to watch the reactions on my timeline, even adults are reacting like it’s a surprise and they need time to "process"… huh, okay… I mean, were people still hoping for an exemption at this point? I still had a bit of hope at the end of last year but since then it was quite clear that they couldn’t count on it. I’m actually quite happy right now that everything is settled and they have a clear plan. And them coming back in 2025 is a scenario I wasn’t even hoping for, it really is the best we could get in my opinion. I understand the younger fans being sad but when it comes to adults, I find it quite concerning to react the way some do. As much as I love the members and especially Jimin and Jungkook, my life does not revolve around them, I find it a bit sad to see that for so many people it seems like the band is most important thing in their lives :/

Hello Anon. Your Ask is from October 2022, but I think in light of certain things it might be interesting to answer it now.

Was it a bit jarring to see BTS fans unable to cope with the reality of military service? Yes, because I think most of us who got into K-pop after already being into K-media/culture weren't expecting an exemption. I also understand it must be surreal for some people who don't live in countries with mandatory service, or those who don't know others who have done mandatory service. Both Pakistan and Israel have mandatory service, so it's not necessarily out of the ordinary for some of us (and especially for those who pay attention to K-media).

I do think the idea of the exemption is something the fans will stay bitter about for a long time (forever?) judging by tweets and other posts I keep seeing. Not having an exemption is a hit to the whole brand image of exceptionalism/not K-pop. Only the plebeian K-pop stars have to go for service, not the venerable BTS. That ... will always be offensive to me, as a BTS fan and a K-pop fan.

Now that it's happening (Jin has enlisted), the usual crud has started and will continue forever more. I don't like people using service as a "gotcha" and making cruel comments while someone is serving their country. Yes, BTS fans do this about everyone else who serves, but that doesn't mean other fans need to return the favor. Like, have some decency. Jin looks healthy and quite good in the photos that were released, so can't we all respect him for doing his duty, regardless of opinions on the political war machine or selfish fan war egotism? I'm definitely a pacifist, but my being a pacifist does nothing for people who live in countries with mandatory service.

The other thing is that with the news of Hongseok's (Pentagon) medical discharge, I really hope that everyone can reflect on their behavior, and that does include SHINee fans. I didn't see it myself, but I saw shawols chastizing others for their reactions (gotta love shawol behavior standards, lol). Mental health isn't a competition, nor is military service on the whole. Not being able to complete your service as intended, whether that be full discharge or changing the type of service, would be incredibly difficult for the person involved. Shame, guilt, embarrassment, humiliation - enlisting would have been hard enough; not finishing as intended is not what anyone would want. Let's keep positive thoughts for all involved.

#those positive thoughts include BTS btw #idk there's so much right now about how stratified 4th gen is and the tribalism really gets to me #can we have basic human decency first #ppl can enjoy their fan rivalries second #bts enlistment #bts ask #kpop and mandatory service #kpop #kpop ask

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firespirited · 1 year

Text

Today's ramblings

Watched The Wheel 2021 ($3 to rent on amazon) featuring Amber Midhunter. It's best to go in knowing that it's a slow burn personal drama. The music choices and editing took away slightly from the story. I thought there was a plot point about a txt message I couldn't read (not being able to make out phone and computer messages in media is a pet peeve) but I went back after finishing the film and it wasn't really that important.

The film is mostly carried by the luminous acting. These people feel very real despite the cliché setups.

I found it touching. The hedgehog problem but hurt adults.

Watched some YouTube and got annoyed because folks could have made a 10 minute video that said it better than 100 mins but I guess youtube doesn't reward 10 minutes like it used to. I'll happily watch your three hour video if there's three hours of subject matter. But really no need to dance around the point just doing filler. It's painful.

Then I ended up on a channel with some great social analysis that segued into some "very close to getting it but also so far from getting it" christian content. I hope to see her in five years having broken off from her church and/or founded or joined one that's inclusive, egalitarian, decolonized with tithes going to direct social action. She has all the systemic analysis tools she needs and one big blindspot. But I had to nope out and not engage, I don't think she's ready to hear from any exians, not yet.

Tw: covid, I had a sudden realisation that if tweens and teens weren't carriers during the pandemic, we would have put them to work. Emergency anti child labour law exemptions would have been passed.

Tw: transphobia and terfs. A woman who used to read or watch every interview with JK Rowling out of fascination wrote a small essay in a comment section where she dissects what she understands of Joanne's complex relationship to gender. A father who wanted a son and made her wear blue, being a tomboy and rejecting feminity for approval. Feeling fragile when she got trapped in an abusive marriage. The books, written from the point of a boy then a man under a male pen name. Massive areas of unexamined internalised misogyny and gender resentment. She said herself she thought changing gender could have been a way to that better life with more respect. Except she never sat with that thought and followed through to find out if she actually wants to be a woman (I realised i'd be dysphoric as a boy then later as a man when I revisited the concept) or wouldn't mind the change if it wasn't socially costly. It'd been the first time i'd seen someone who had studied her as a personal hero do a full read on where her trans masc issues come from. Her trans femme issues come from feeling powerless and hurt by men this is something the Gender Essential cults are experts at exploiting by presenting trans feminity as a flavour of male entitlement (which is wild when you consider even most drag queens won't go out in drag unless it's for an event because it's dangerous and also a performance). Jk's flavour of trans phobia tends to skew anti masc because that's her real fear: she already spent time "as a man" when she published the Strike books, I think she quite probably hasn't mulled it over at all: i imagine she thinks men don't love their children in the way women do so there's that 'contradiction' in the way. Maybe someday she'll have a breakthrough in therapy. She's got a window of about 5 years to change before mainstream society has moved passed this reactionary blip and she's regarded by even centrists and center right as a nutjob. After that any change of heart will be seen as phony.

I have good days and bad days in the depresh and some flip half way through. We're wading into deeper water. I can feel other mutuals in the same terrible headspace. I don't want to make things worse or put a thought out there that is like an ear worm for the blues. My default used to be hermit mode who emerges with nice happy clappy mood once a day to not hurt anyone through contagious sads or neglect.

Finding the right balance is hard.

#saf #movie reviews #The wheel 2021 #Tw: covid #Tw: depression #Tw: religion

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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Imagine if Meng Shi begged and bargained and collected favors till she was able to send her A-Yao to education with the Lan Sect, perhaps even become a cultivator with them. Would he take that change? Would he become a rogue cultivator? Would the strict rules help curb his inner muderimpuls or enrage him or teach him to hide better?

A Good Fit - ao3

“The…Lan sect?” Meng Yao said doubtfully. “Are you sure?”

“I am sure,” his mother said, her mouth tight. She looked upset, the way she always did these days when he referenced, intentionally or otherwise, the original plan that she had had to send him to join his father, sect leader of Lanling Jin. She’d raised Meng Yao on a steady diet of stories of what his life would be like when his father finally took him back the way he’d promised her he would, stories that had filled his days and nights for years and years and years, and then just last year she’d suddenly stopped talking about it entirely. It was as if the person who’d told those stories had nothing to do with her.

Meng Yao didn’t know what had happened, but he assumed it must have been pretty bad.

“It'll be a good fit,” she added.

“Then I’ll go to the Lan sect,” he said, and pretended not see the way his mother relaxed a little, relieved that he wasn’t asking too many questions. “I’ve heard they are gentlemen there, righteous but gentle; it will be the best match for my personality, I’m sure.”

A lie, of course. ‘Gentlemen’ were just as likely to come to the brothel as brutes, and they were all the same once they had a cup of wine and a beauty in their arms – Meng Yao tried not to have any illusions.

“Can we afford it?” he asked instead, since that was something he was sure his mother would have thought of, would have expected him to ask. “Gusu is so far away…”

“I have obtained a letter from the local sect recommending you to their sect leader, Lan Qiren,” she said. “He’s the one that teaches the classes – the one that sent out the summons asking the subsidiary sects to look for individuals with raw talent to join his classes and offering them an extra seat for their sects for each nameless orphan they find that lives up to Lan sect standards. Only the Heavens know why he’s doing something like that…I assume they’re trying to expand.”

That seemed like the most reasonable explanation. Meng Yao nodded. “So I’ll be traveling with the local sect?”

“That’s right,” his mother said, and raised her chin a little. “At least this much, your mother was able to do for you.”

She’d begged and bargained and traded favors for it, then, Meng Yao thought, and yet taking him along was to their own benefit: if they were looking for inherited cultivation talent sufficient for the Lan sect, then the bastard son of another Great Sect leader would be a better bet than some random nobody. She’d probably humiliated herself for nothing.

“Will you come with me?” he asked, more concerned with that – it was too easy for women of ill repute to disappear into the depths of the city if they didn’t have someone to watch out for them.

Even someone as young as he was. He wished he was older.

“You can come back to visit me during the Spring Festival,” she said, which meant no. “I’ll be all right, A-Yao.”

Meng Yao wasn’t so sure.

Still, not having him around would at least remove a visible reminder of his mother’s age – she’d been kicked out of the better brothels because of him, because no one wanted a woman who was a mother. Leaving would at least do that for her.

“I’ll write,” he finally said. “I’ll write as often as they let me.”

“And I’ll write back,” she promised him, kissing his cheek. “I promise.”

With that, Meng Yao supposed he had to be satisfied.

The Lan sect was both exactly like what Meng Yao expected and absolutely nothing at all like anything he could have dreamt.

For the first, his cynicism was almost immediately confirmed: the boys raised there were snobby as anything, looking down at the rest of them as little better than barbarians, and many of the adults were the same way. It was clear that this whole business of recruiting talented nobodies was a project of the sect leader’s – the interim sect leader, no less, not even the real thing – and nobody else’s; they were only just barely going along with it. Adding to that the fact that there were dozens if not hundreds of rules, and Meng Yao could glumly foresee a future of having his lack of knowledge held over his head as a fault, even with his marvelous memory to act as his backing.

For the second…

Well, there was Lan Xichen, who was – as unbelievable as it seemed – to actually embody all those things that people said about gentlemen, all kindness and gentleness and fierce upright pride, except only for real. There was Lan Wangji, who was basically perfect in every way and kinder than he gave the impression he was, willing to help tutor anyone who asked if only they dared disturb his solitude long enough to do so. There was the boy Meng Yao shared a room with, Su She, who’d punched the boy from the Yunping cultivator clan in the mouth for calling Meng Yao a son of a whore and pretended it was because they weren’t allowed to talk about that sort of thing, when actually it’d been because he hadn’t wanted rumors to get around that might make Meng Yao’s life harder in the future.

There was Lan Qiren, who was strict and a little boring but fair, painfully fair, handing out punishments with an equitable hand no matter that it meant that he was punishing the locals as often if not more often. It’d been his idea to bring people like Meng Yao into the Lan sect, and defending the idea was the only time he truly seemed moved to passion. Now that they’d passed the initial examination and been judged to match Lan sect standards, Lan Qiren announced, as far as he was concerned, they were Lan sect just as if they were born there, as if they’d been children of his own.

And he even seemed to really believe it, too.

Today, Meng Yao’s head was still warm from when the stern Teacher Lan had put his hand there, gentle and approving, and his ears still burning from the murmured “Well done, Meng Yao, as expected.”

“I think I would kill someone for him,” Meng Yao said dreamily to Su She, who snorted.

“You’ve got such father issues,” he said disdainfully, as if he didn’t have entire family issues. That was just Su She’s way, though – he bitched and moaned and complained without end, and he’d probably kill someone for Meng Yao if Meng Yao so much as hinted it was something he’d want. They’d made friends for a reason. “You know the bit about the poor kids being his own children is a lie, right?”

“I know which sect’s leader is my father, thanks,” Meng Yao said, rolling his eyes. “I’m well aware it’s not Teacher Lan. Like he’d ever have kids of his own, anyway.”

“That’d require noticing when someone’s flirting with him,” Su She agreed, all solemn for just a moment, and then he dissolved into sniggering giggles. Meng Yao couldn’t blame him: it was, in fact, extremely funny when women (and sometimes men) tried to flirt with Teacher Lan, mostly because of the way that he very genuinely and completely missed that that was what was happening each and every time.

“Laugh all you like,” Meng Yao said peaceably. “You’d kill for him, too.”

“Probably,” Su She agreed. “But only because of you.”

That was fair enough. After getting the lay of the land, Meng Yao had arranged for them to ‘accidentally’ be overheard by Teacher Lan while talking about the misconduct of one of the teachers who was the most biased against guest disciples, one of the ones that had been harassing Su She in particular for over a year before Meng Yao had arrived, and despite Su She’s initial nervousness about the plan, it had all gone splendidly. Sure, they’d been punished to do five copies of a treatise on upright conduct because they’d breached Talking behind the backs of others is prohibited, but the teacher in question had been sentenced to two hundred strikes with the discipline rod for abusing his position and three months of enforced seclusion to contemplate his misbehavior, and then, Teacher Lan had said, his expression dark and threatening, they could discuss what role would be the best fit in the future.

The other teachers had taken notice and shaped up very quickly, after that.

Comparatively, those five copies made in the nice cool Library Pavilion instead of having to do chores on the hottest days of summer? Practically a pat on the back for bringing it to his attention.

Su She would never have dared to raise anything if it was just him, Meng Yao thought; he had a strange fear of authority figures that combined envy and misery in an explosive combination – he would have just suffered and suffered and suffered until he’d been pushed too far and then it would have all burst out at once. He wasn’t like Meng Yao, who was unwilling to keep to his “proper” place and was more than willing to use his greater-than-average share of brains to get what he wanted, no matter what rules he broke in the process. He was the sort of person who was willing to do whatever it took to obtain his desires – no matter what it took.

Well, maybe not no matter what. He wouldn’t want to disappoint Lan Qiren too much.

(Okay, so maybe Su She was right and he had some unresolved father issues. So what if he did? Whose business was it but his?)

It’d taken Meng Yao a while to fully adjust to the Cloud Recesses.

Some parts he’d figured out right away – the way they all flattered themselves as gentlemen even if they were actually little more than hypocrites (Teacher Lan and his personally taught nephews exempted, of course), which of course meant that Meng Yao’s ability to act pitiful at the drop of a hat and cleverly turn black into white made him a teacher’s pet at once. The vegetarian meals were easy enough to adapt to, given that his mother hadn’t had the money for meat all that often, and the training and cultivation and all that wasn’t any challenge for his excellent powers of retention – he had ambitions of becoming one of Teacher Lan’s aides one day, and worked assiduously towards that goal. Even waking and sleeping early, which was practically the opposite of his schedule at home, was something he could adjust to, given time and incentive.

It was his mentality that took some time to adjust.

Meng Yao had perhaps grown up with too many of his mother’s stories, painting an image of a matchless paradise – at the start, he looked at everything around him, serene and elegant but not quite as rich and shining and thought that it would do, for now. When he’d first arrived, he had had every intention of making a good reputation for himself and using that reputation to get his real father’s attention – he’d liked Teacher Lan from the beginning, despite his best attempts to not let his heart be swayed, but he’d reasoned that if a teacher was like this, then a blood-related father would be even better.

And so, for the first half-year, he’d treated his time at the Cloud Recesses…not lightly, no. He was extremely serious about making sure to get the maximum benefit he could. And yet, at the same time, he still was not really committing himself to the place.

This wasn’t where he was going to live his whole life, he reasoned; it was just a stepping stone to a better future. That meant he would exert himself to point out things that made him look good, to eliminate obstacles in his path, to win himself allies, but not bother with those longer-term problems, the ones that really ought to be fixed but which would take a great deal of effort with little reward other than annoying people.

His feeling of superiority and emotional distance lasted right up until the first discussion conference.

From a distance, Jin Guangshan was everything Meng Yao could have imagined – perhaps a little too similar to the clients that his mother often saw, a little dissolute to pull off the air of a refined scholar he affected, but wearing more gold than Meng Yao had ever seen in his life, with a retinue of servants that dwarfed the other sect’s. Each of those servants were dressed more finely than even main clan cultivators in some of the smaller sects, and though Meng Yao’s Lan sect guest disciple clothing was of such quality that he didn’t need to fear their disdain, he couldn’t help but be secretly impressed.

He'd exerted himself more than usual to trade away all of his chores and duties, freeing himself up to take on patrol duty near the Jin sect. He’d perhaps daydreamed about some sort of encounter – nothing active on his part, of course, but he couldn’t quite resist playing through some fantasy of catching someone’s eye by chance, getting called over, a “You have a familiar set to your chin, who’s your father?”, a shy halting admission, recognition, a joyous reunion…

Instead, his father spent the entire night getting drunk and cursing the Lan sect’s hospitality for not providing him with girls to go with his liquor, calling Lan Qiren a miserable prude with a stick up his ass right in front of the Lan sect disciples that clenched their fists in barely concealed rage. He’d seen Meng Yao all right, ordered him to come forward, but it’d only been to mock him in front of all of his servants – and not even for being his bastard son, no, that would involve bothering to pick him out from the crowd or to ask who he was. No, he’d mocked him simply for being one of the poor disciples that Lan Qiren had taken in, all because his accent was marked with the distinct tones of Yunping rather than the sweetness of Gusu.

“Tell me, boy,” he said, breathing fumes into Meng Yao’s face and making him feel suddenly as if he’d never left the brothel – that the Cloud Recesses had all been a vague dream, and now he’d woken up and lost it all. “How does that old fart Qiren expect you to pay him back for all he’s done for you? I heard the Lan sect includes a pretty face as one of its standard requirements…”

Meng Yao put his gaze above his father’s head and pretended to be deaf.

“It seems like rather a lot of effort,” one of his father’s attendants remarked. “Even if Second Master Lan wanted a boy to warm his bed, couldn’t he just buy one like any normal person?”

“Bah, boys,” his father said, and leaned back, waving his hands in dismissal. “Why would anyone bother with a boy when you could have a soft woman instead? Just as long as they’re stupid enough – you know, there’s nothing worse than a woman who’s talented and knows it, too smart, always trying to get above their station…”

“You’re thinking about that whore in Yunping again, aren’t you? The one that interrupted your dinner and made a scene, claiming you’d promised to take in the son she bore you?” the attendant said, laughing. “I told you, you should’ve just killed her for her impudence rather than just having her beaten and thrown out. That way the matter wouldn’t still be bothering you…”

“Go away, boy,” another servant said to Meng Yao, who was frozen stiff in belated terror, nausea churning in his stomach as he realized his mother could’ve gone out one day and never come back, and he would never have known why – or maybe it was that he’d been spending his considerable time and brain on pleasing someone who would have done that, who nearly had done that. “Your accent’s brought back bad memories, don’t you see?”

Meng Yao left.

No, to be more blunt: he fled. He ran away, hot tears filling his eyes until he couldn’t see – belly full of regret and disappointment, crushed dreams feeling like broken shards of glass in his mouth and throat.

He tried to tell himself that it was better to find out now, when they were still distant, before he'd sold his soul for the futile chance to get that horrible man's affection, but he couldn't quite throw off the shame of knowing that if he hadn't heard such a thing up front, he probably would have done that. Would have humiliated himself like that, and for what? A man who regretted not murdering his mother?

He ran right into Lan Wangji, who was also on patrol.

Lan Wangji took one look at him and grabbed his wrist, dragging him away from the main pathway and all the way to his uncle’s rooms.

Lan Qiren was still awake despite the late hour, writing something at his desk, but he set aside his brush at once. “What’s going on?” he asked, frowning. “Wangji – Meng Yao – one of you report.”

“Meng Yao was on patrol by the Jin sect,” Lan Wangji explained as Meng Yao furiously tried to dash away his tears using his sleeve.

“Who permitted that? First year disciples aren’t permitted to patrol during discussion conferences,” Lan Qiren asked, his frown deepening. “It wouldn’t be proper – ah, but no, I recall now. I suppose it was inevitable. Wangji, well done, and thank you. You are dismissed.”

After Lan Wangji left, he turned his eyes on Meng Yao.

“You volunteered, didn’t you?” he asked.

Meng Yao felt his back go cold: Lan Qiren knew, then. It had never been said out loud by anyone as far as he knew, and yet it was clear that Lan Qiren knew who his father was – and probably his mother, too.

He knew that Meng Yao was – that he wasn’t anything more than –

“You are one of my most promising disciples, Meng Yao,” Lan Qiren told him, and poured him a cup of tea from his own pot, pressing it into his hands. It was finer tea than Meng Yao had ever had in his life, full of smoke and flavor. “The rules say Be loyal and filial, but they also praise reciprocity. You have not been recognized, and have not received your forefathers’ grace. You can fulfill your obligations to chivalry through your respect for the parent that raised you.”

Meng Yao stared down at the teacup. Lan Qiren had completely misunderstood the nature of Meng Yao’s concern – he was disappointed in what his father was, not worried about not living up to his obligations of being a filial child. And yet it was a little nice to hear that as far as Lan Qiren was concerned, the rules said that he could tell his father go hang for all he cared…

And that he ought to honor his mother, which was something no one who knew her had ever said to him.

“Even if she –” His voice stuttered. “Even if she’s a…”

He couldn’t say the word.

“Appreciate the good people is not qualified by class or profession,” Lan Qiren said, and his monotone voice was blissfully without emotion, as if this were just another lesson in class, and not the deepest hurt of Meng Yao’s life. “I have never met your mother, Meng Yao, but you are a good child – diligent, organized, sincere, with good judgment, and you clearly adore her. That tells me everything I need to know.”

Meng Yao burst into tears.

Meng Yao liked Lan Xichen a lot, but he also had to admit that sometimes, the older boy was, well…

“Dumb as a pile of rocks,” Su She announced.

“Do not criticize other people,” Meng Yao said piously, but then chuckled, shaking his head. “Say, rather, that he’s naïve and sheltered, and overly inclined to believe the best in people.”

“Like I said: dumb as rocks. How many times is going to get himself swindled into being someone’s sword or shield before he figures out that the problem is him?”

“Some people don’t have the capacity to understand the depths of humanity’s foulness –”

“Yeah, dumb ones.”

“Su She, please.” Su She held up his hands in surrendered. “At any rate, if Lan-gongzi is going to keep falling for people’s tricks, it’s beholden on us to help protect him.”

“You just don’t want Teacher Lan to be sad about something serious happening to his nephew,” Su She said knowingly, but he was already nodding. “All right, what are we going to do about it? He outranks us. We can’t exactly tell him to his face that he’s being…”

He paused.

Dumb as rocks went unsaid, but then, it didn’t need to be said out loud for the meaning to be clear.

Meng Yao sighed.

“You can only trick someone so many times,” he said. “If we want to keep him from getting tricked by other people, then we have to trick him first. And better.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lan-gongzi likes to save people,” Meng Yao explained. “He really sees himself as a chivalrous gentleman – he puts chivalry first, even though Teacher Lan says Learning comes first. That’s why he always sides with whoever he perceives to be the underdog in a given situation, no matter how wrong that impression is. That’s how most of the people who’ve been tricking him have gone for it: playing the victim, appealing to his sense of righteousness, pulling the curtains over his eyes to obscure what’s actually happening.”

“Okay. So?”

“So, we’ve both got miserable backstories – you being taken from your family at a young age and then bullied, me with my mother and, even worse, father. If we get him on our side, early on, he’ll side with us over anyone else – that way we can keep him from getting roped into other people’s private grudges.”

Su She frowned. “That seems a little manipulative.”

“It’s for his own good, and that’s what’s important,” Meng Yao said, and smiled faintly. “Wouldn’t you agree, Lan-er-gongzi?”

Su She jumped, turning around just in time to see Lan Wangji, who had been standing in the shadow of a nearby tree, step out.

He had a serious expression, as always, but a thoughtful one.

Meng Yao waited patiently.

“You cannot take advantage,” Lan Wangji finally said, and Meng Yao knew he’d won the most important ally in the battle to save Lan Xichen from himself. “That would change it from a virtuous act to a selfish one.”

“Like we need anything from him,” Su She said haughtily. “Maintain your own discipline.”

“Arrogance is forbidden.”

“It’s not arrogance if it’s justified! It’s just self-confidence!”

“Do not argue with family,” Meng Yao quoted, and was pleased to see both of them drop it at once. “Listen, we all share the same goal, and we have to start somewhere, don’t we? We’re stronger together than apart. Together, we can do anything, even protect Lan-gongzi.”

That and more, he thought as the other boys nodded, following his lead. Lan Xichen is just the start.

“The Wen sect will make trouble sooner rather than later,” Meng Yao said thoughtfully, one day. His friends turned to look at him. “Yes, I’m serious.”

Lan Wangji nodded, serious as always, but Su She scoffed.

“You can’t even convince that Wei Wuxian boy to leave poor Lan-er-gongzi alone,” he said snidely. “How exactly are you expecting to bring down the Wen sect?”

“I don’t convince Wei Wuxian to leave Lan-er-gongzi alone because Lan-er-gongzi doesn’t want to be left alone,” Meng Yao said. “Obviously. Isn’t that right?”

“You should call me by name,” Lan Wangji said, which wasn’t answering the question and definitely wasn’t denying anything. “You were saying, about the Wen sect?”

Meng Yao smiled.

“What brings one of Teacher Lan’s most promising disciples to the Unclean Realm?” Nie Mingjue said, peering at him thoughtfully. “You’re at the wrong time to be one of the usual messengers.”

Meng Yao smiled at him.

“I think you’ll find that we have similar goals, Sect Leader Nie,” he said. “When it comes to making sure that certain people in our lives don’t get hurt by the bad decisions of others, I mean. In your case, it’s your younger brother, who’s a friend of mine –”

Friend, source of information, it was all about the same thing in the end. Meng Yao didn’t have real friends outside the Lan sect, but he’d been very careful to cultivate good relationships with all his most important peers.

“- and for me, well. A teacher for day, a father for a lifetime. I’m sure Sect Leader Nie can understand the importance of protecting one’s father – right?”

“You don’t need to use any sophistry on me,” Nie Mingjue said, rolling his eyes. “If you have an idea on what we can do to stop the Wen sect before they go and burn someone’s house down, I’m all ears.”

By chance, Meng Yao did.

It was a good plan, too, daring and brave in equal measure. If it worked the way he hoped it would, he’d win enough fame to get Jin Guangshan to beg for him to join the Jin sect – not that he would, of course.

Meng Yao knew what he wanted, and he knew how he was going to get it, too.

“This is a lovely house, A-Yao,” Meng Shi said, running her hand along one of the soft tapestries on the wall. “Truly lovely. Whoever you rented it from has good taste.”

Meng Yao bowed. “Thank you for the compliment, Mother. I put a lot of thought into it.”

“You own it?” she asked, surprised. “But don’t you live up the mountain, with the sect?”

“I do. This is for you.”

“For – me? A-Yao! This is too much – how much must it have cost–”

“I saved the Lan sect’s core texts from being destroyed,” Meng Yao said. “I’m an inner sect disciple now – I could ask for a dozen houses like this, and they’d grant them to me without blinking twice. Teacher Lan would insist on it.”

“Teacher Lan,” his mother murmured. “That’s the one you’ve taken to treating as your own father, isn’t it? You’ve spoken so much of him, in your letters…”

“There’s no need to scheme,” he told her. “He wouldn’t notice your flirtations, anyway.”

His mother arched her eyebrows at him.

“He’s really oblivious.”

“Still…”

“Really no need,” Meng Yao said, and couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Lan Qiren pulling him into a hug when he realized that the books – and Lan Xichen – were all safe from the Wen sect’s attempt to burn down the Cloud Recesses, and, later, again, that Wen Ruohan was dead. He may have deliberately schemed for that second hug, and he might or might not have plans for more. “He already takes me as a son.”

His mother relaxed.

“Good,” she said, and smiled herself. “So, A-Yao, was I right, all those years ago? Was the Lan sect a good fit for you?”

“Yes, Mother,” Meng Yao said. “Yes, it was.”

#mdzs #meng yao #jin guangyao #lan qiren #su she #lan wangji #my fic #my fics #a good fit

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flodaya · 2 years

Note

I hate when we start playing oppression olympics within the queer community, yes it’s amazing that skamfr has a trans man in a happy relationship with a cis woman, doesn’t mean the writers are exempt from criticism for breaking up their currently only queer/wlw couple on the entrie show?

plus notice how even then, basically all queer characters are white? lucas, elliot, alexia, lola, max.. maya is the only queer character of color (june doesn't count, she's not a prominent character)

not only they broke up the only relationship between two women, but the only queer interracial relationship of the show, and maya, the first queer main of color, ended up alone.

it was horrible and i am a white sapphic, i can't imagine how it was for many sapphics of color.

like truly, it's good that max, a trans man, is in a fulfilling relationship with a cis woman who loves and supports him, but that doesn't mean the show is good queer rep!!??

wtfock has queer rep, and i don't think i need to explain my point more.

plus even then, don't they see the favoritism? can't they see that they choose anais, a skinny white cishet girl, over max, a potential trans main?

he would have been the second trans main of the skamverse and the second of the new gen. and we would have seen his transness from his own point, not tiff's. (a cis woman)

by breaking mayla up and giving the season to anais instead of choosing redouane or max, they proved once again that they don't care about diversity and that queer rep/rep of color.

also, quite respectfully, not everything is about them.

this was about sapphics and i don't want to hear non sapphics opinions on it, i don't want to say if it was lesbiphobic (is that the term? ) or not.

even sapphics like shirley can be lesbiphobic so imagine how non sapphics are.

EXACTLY!! i haven't even finished watching the season but i have so many thoughts about shirley and deborah's reaction and the season/skamfr as a whole

i see her excuse of "equality is if we treat all couples the same" and all i can think of is that picture about equality of every human being getting the same bike but a small child needs a different bike than an adult man, and a physically disabled person needs a different bike than a able-bodied woman, and so on, achieving equality isn't achieved by giving every single person the same set of tools because some people have a disadvantage and need a stepping stone

so saying breaking up your only wlw couple and giving your only wlwoc a bitter-sweet ending when every other main got to ride happily into the sunset is a step in the right direction of equality just seems so ignorant when 1) all your het couples are still dating, so if we treat them all the same why is the only one that's broken up sapphic? and 2) there is a definite lack of wlw couples in todays media, this just proves shirley's own ignorance on the topic of wlw/queer representation which is a shame since she is part of our community and had a chance to give us positive representation instead of what lesbians always get which is either ambiguous endings or tragedy

my parasocial relationship with paulina and the rest of the druck s6 writers is still going strong because i feel like we all (and especially twt stans) owe them an apology, like y'all don't appreciate good wlw rep when you get it, a whole season focused on a loving and healthy relationship between two wlwoc, what season will ever compare

#skam france #ask #god how much i hate wtfocks queer rep #its been years and i still get the urge to write rant posts about it lmao #my posts

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nightshade-minho · 3 years

Text

MOONSTORM [ iii ]

You know that feeling when you know you’ve made a terrible mistake?

Yes. That feeling.

It’s a feeling that never really goes away. You had to learn that the hard way.

Irrevocable actions, stupid mistakes. You were heart-wrenchingly familiar with all of it.

To err was human apparently. You...weren’t human, though.

It seems like being superhuman was insignificant, after all. At the end of the day, nothing mattered. None of your powers did.

Despite it all, you still lost him.

warnings: depressing shit (it gets better though dw) mentions of death, violence, sexual content, future smut

wc: 2.8k

moonstorm masterlist

It felt like the world had lost all color.

It had happened so many months ago, and yet it still felt like it happened just yesterday. The memories of stumbling out of his lair, covered in his blood and your tears, still fresh in your mind.

The image of his face, betrayed and yet so calm as he uttered those last words to you...it haunted you constantly.

You found yourself looking at the moon every night, dreaming about what could have been. The nightmares endlessly plagued your sleep as well, causing you to fear even your own bed.

No...even after Hyunjin's effects on you wore off, your own brain took on the responsibility of torturing you by conjuring up more heartbreaking dreams. Dreams which made you long for something you knew you’d lost forever- never to be yours again.

You never truly realized how much you’d gotten used to having him around. Life was so glaringly empty and meaningless without him. It was a complicated relationship…and yet it still left a giant hole in you. An all-encompassing despair that threatened to swallow you up.

With him gone, it just didn’t feel right to be a superhero anymore. How could you be the strong role model for everyone in the city to rely on when you knew just how weak you’d become? Even when the newspapers were covered with your heroics, even as the mayor addressed the city and expressed his desire to give you a medal for stopping yet another supervillain from roaming the streets- you stubbornly refused to don that costume ever again.

You stayed hidden through it all. You just couldn’t bring yourself to go out in public anymore. Your vigilante costume lay forgotten in the back of your closet- crumpled and sad.

It just...felt wrong. At the moment you felt nothing but pathetic. You didn’t have time to waste saving a snotty kitten stuck on a tree or stop a petty criminal from robbing a bank- all you were fit to do was eat ice cream straight from the can, and watch a soulless movie. The same routine, day in and day out. You hadn’t left your apartment in nearly a month, not even to buy groceries. Every second was spent wrapped up in blankets, pondering what you’d done.

Was that selfish of you? Probably. You were discovering new flaws by the second.

Sighing, you sat up a little, your ass almost numb from how long you’d spent lying down. Glancing up, you saw your father’s portrait looking down at you. You swallowed and slowly stood up from your bed, groaning to yourself. Why did he suddenly seem so disappointed?

Maybe a little bit of fresh air is what you needed, considering you were starting to believe the paintings were changing expressions. After all, you had work to do anyway- might as well take advantage of the nearby café’s free WiFi.

***

Here at last.

You sat down in the corner of the café, so tired you could barely move a muscle. But you had to get a move on with your life- the recovery should have happened by now.

And yet here you were, months later. Nothing seemed to be able to fill the hole he left behind, and even now you wished you could go back home as soon as possible.

Had it...had it been a mistake?

Of course it had. Your misery was evidence, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could convince yourself that you’d done it for the good of the city.

The truth was... Hwang Hyunjin scared you.

He made you feel things, made you want to be someone else entirely. Every ounce of rigidity and austerity you’d imposed in yourself disappeared every time you were with him. He made you want to give everything up- give up all the responsibilities and burdens you carried on your shoulders to be with him. To be like him- free.

It wasn’t Hyunjin who was a threat to the city. No, not directly.

It was you- or rather the lack of you.

This city needed you to survive, and if Hyunjin managed to change you...it surely wouldn’t have lasted long without your help. Hyunjin had never really been the city’s biggest threat- there were far worse villains and it was them who you really fought against.

He was more of just an inconvenience, someone you had to deal with from time to time. And then he’d struck that deal- after which the nature of your relationship had turned into something entirely different.

Every time he acted up, it was usually just a ploy to get your attention. And attention was exactly what he got. You’d reinforced his behavior like an idiot.

You told yourself it was a chore, but it wasn’t all that convincing. You’d loved spending those nights in his bed, loved the way he was an expert at making you come undone with his body and his words.

It really had seemed like a good idea at the time. The right thing to do. However, it was quickly starting to seem like anything but.

You sighed as your mind tried its best not to travel back all those months. Dipping a teabag into the liquid, you mindlessly observed the customers in the cafe. Many of them were young, teenagers who were heading out before class.

You sighed as you recalled your own high school days, the times Hyunjin and you had hung out in a cafe much like this one.

“You don’t have to help me with this project, you know.”

“Ah, shush. It’s our final year. I’m not going to leave you alone.” He smiled as he flipped through his books, taking a sip of his coffee occasionally.

“You act like you’re not sticking to me like white on rice the rest of the year.” You roll your eyes, chuckling to yourself.

“Don’t get snippy with me, missy.” He smirked, still thumbing the pages nonchalantly. “Or I’ll have to punish you.”

“You- I- what?” You wouldn’t admit it, but the thought caused a fluttering sensation in more than one place. It was a little bit of a shock, considering the two of you had done nothing more than make out and flirt, until now.

“Chill. I’m kidding.” He shook his head, looking up at you. “Unless…” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Stop it! I’m supposed to be working right now.” You whined, swatting him with a rolled up paper.

“I don’t care.” He tapped his fingers on the table. “Hm...do you know what I’m thinking of right now, Y/n?”

“W-what?”

“Thinking about how easy it would be to slip my fingers under your skirt and play with that pretty pussy of yours. I’m pretty sure it’s soaked your underwear through by now.”

Fuck.

Your cheeks flushed as you stared at your plate. You couldn’t find it in yourself to respond properly- his mere words had already turned you to a mess.

“S-shut up.” You mumbled, reading out formulas aloud as you tried to divert your attention from it. Hyunjin let out a teasing chuckle at your lame attempt to change the topic, shaking his head as he stared at his book again, unaware you were looking over your own at him, pressing your thighs together subtly.

God, he was so...so annoying.

You snapped out of it, sighing as you looked around at the much less crowded cafe. Had it always looked so dull? So lifeless?

The thought of him was hurtful- it felt like a dull knife, screwing itself into you. Reminding you what you’d done.

You’d killed the love of your life.

And now? There was no way to bring him back.

***

“Murder is never something a superhero should resort to. A good hero always stays true to themselves- they only kill if it’s absolutely necessary.”

A cough.

“But of course...villains are exempt from that rule. Killing one villain’s life could save countless others.”

Hm. You weren’t exactly sure if your father was right. Although you were just a child, you still had some knowledge of morality.

Was he? Killing just...seemed wrong. You didn’t know if you could bring yourself to do it, no matter how evil the person was.

“Surely there are other ways to neutralize someone evil, Father?”

He narrowed his eyes at you, before shaking his head coldly. “Untrue.”

“The truth is, some lives are expendable, my dear Y/n…” Another cough, before he cleared his throat and fixed his gaze back on you.

“You must always look for the greater good.”

***

You still remembered the day you first met Hyunjin.

He was 13, and you were just a little younger. Your families were good comrades and allies, so your eventual meeting had already been planned.

The two of you were in the living room with everyone else as they talked to each other, mingling and chattering like adults usually did. Hyunjin and you made an unanimous decision to sneak out to the rooftop, and get to know each other better.

“So...our parents are allies now, hm? This means we’re going to see each other a lot more.”

“Of course we are! We’re both prodigies, like my dad and your mom...we inherited their powers, so they’re obviously going to want to cultivate those.”

“You speak pretty fancy for a 12 year old.”

“Hey, so do you! Besides, we’re gifted, aren’t we?”

“Hm.” He sighed, swinging his legs and inhaling. After a few seconds of silence, he spoke up again.

“Do you actually like having these powers?”

“Oh? Well, yeah...I do...my father tells me stories of his days as a superhero. I want to help people, just like him.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d much rather live a normal life. Get a normal job, find someone to love, and have a normal marriage in a normal town.”

You pressed your lips together. “To each their own, I guess. Personally, I just want to get rid of all the evil in the world and make my father proud.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“Evil…” He tapped his chin. “How does one even know the difference between good and evil?”

You raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean? I’m pretty sure it would be obvious in every situation.”

“I disagree. The distinction is blurry. No one knows for sure, and definitely not at first glance.” He sighed. “I would know.”

You brought your knees to your chest as you observed the city below. “Well, I guess you’re right…” you paused, your heart feeling a little heavy for some reason.

“Do you know?”

“The line between good and evil is thin, Y/n. I can’t say I know for sure. But do you know what will always help you remember?”

“What?”

“Your heart.” He said softly, glancing at you and offering you a small smile.

“Just do whatever feels right...trust yourself.”

***

You sighed and shut your laptop.

Home. You needed to go home, cause your heart ached too much. You definitely weren’t ready to go back to work yet. You hadn’t done anything productive today really, just drink coffee and reflect on your actions. Regretting....regretting it all.

It’d been wrong. The wrong choice, the wrong decision.

You knew that, now. There could have been another way. You shouldn’t have rushed into it like that...how could you?

You felt a surge of hatred towards yourself engulf you. It was all your fault, this pain you were feeling. You didn’t have anyone to direct this immense anger towards except yourself. You realized this little fact in horror, your heart clenching as you wished things could have been different.

Finishing off your coffee, you placed a few bills on the table as you left the café, heading home. Ready to burrow under the blankets again, wallow in your self pity and pain. There wasn’t much else to do except succumb to acceptance.

You made your way down the street, humming the saddest song you knew under your breath.

All of a sudden, you felt eyes burning into your back. Your own eyes widening slightly, you turned around quickly-

But there was no one there.

Weird. Sighing, you decided to go back to going over your plans for tonight in your mind.

Maybe watch a movie in hopes of triggering some sort of emotion in you...or maybe take a bath, light some candles and listen to depressing music- shit.

It happened again. Someone was following you- you could feel it. Uncomfortable, your breathing slowly started getting heavier as you tried to formulate some kind of plan in your head-

The next thing that happened was so sudden you barely registered it for a second.

Your hand was gripped, so tightly you felt it would bruise. Aggressive, shocking and swift as lightning- it took several seconds before you realized someone was trying to kidnap you.

“Stop! Leave me alone!”

Struggling against the person holding you, you caught a glimpse of the masked man and decided to scream, hoping to gain some attention from somebody, anybody. There was no way this was happening, not right now. Your day had already been bad enough, why was the universe so intent on rubbing salt in your wounds?!

The urge to fight had never been stronger. Yet there was no strength left in your body. You couldn’t fight back against this man- he was taller than you and somehow even matched you in strength. Unless you exposed your powers, there was no way you would get yourself out of this predicament. Somehow you managed to smack him with your arm weakly, making him hiss.

“Let me go, please!”

The coffee cup fell out of your hand, brown liquid spilling all over the ground as you were pulled into the dark alley so quickly, no one would notice. Your eyes darted about in panic, trying to work out a possible escape route when the masked man caged you in, his arms on either side of you.

A horrible sense of déjà vu enveloped you. It’s all you can do to not scream, trying to keep yourself calm so that you could escape.

It’s ok, breathe in...and concentrate.

The heat within you started to crackle, your palms beginning to burn up gradually.

Your eyes blinked as you decided to try and take a good look at the person holding you. Their head was covered with a black mask, their finger held over their mouth as they ran their eyes over your distressed expression.

Inhale. Exhale.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You hissed, staying still and pretending to give up the struggle. “Unhand me now, or you’ll regret it, trust me-“

“Shh! Y/n, please…” He shushed you, his voice shaky.

You stopped in your tracks.

Huh?

That voice…

“I’ll explain... but first we need to get out of here, fuck-” He looked from side to side quickly, scanning his surroundings.

Shit. Why does that voice sound so familiar?

“Who- who are you?!” You managed to get out, the heat fading away as deep, panicked confusion took over you instead.

There was a small sigh as your assailant stood up a little straighter, groaning. And then, his fingers deftly pulled the mask off, clutching it in his hands tightly.

Golden locks spilled out, a handsome visage coming into view. Plump lips and beautiful eyes, looking oh so familiar.

No.

It couldn’t be. This wasn’t happening. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the actual fuck was going on?

It’s him.

But it can’t be.

How? It’s not possible-

You’re definitely losing your mind.

The man’s breathing got quicker as he watched your expression morph from fear into one of pure, electric shock.

“I know you’re shocked, Y/n, but please listen to-“

Your chest started heaving, quickly rising and falling as your heart pounded against your rib cage.

This...could not be happening. What was this? Was this a nightmare? Yet another sick, twisted dream? He couldn’t be standing right in front of you...it was impossible. No. No no no no no no no.

It was all too overwhelming, and your brain and body seemed to agree on that. Your mind swam, your thoughts all over the place as you felt yourself sway on your feet.

“This- I-“ You stumbled over your words, tears slipping past quickly as you tried to form words to express what you felt.

Pain. Searing pain, taking over, spreading from head to toe.

Your breathing slowed as the world suddenly went black, Hyunjin’s shouts in the background fading away...until there was nothing but silence.

Pure, unadulterated silence.

#hyunjin smut #hyunjin angst #skz smut #skz angst #hwang hyunjin smut #stray kids smut #stray kids angst #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin imagines

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the-one-alone · 4 years

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It goes without saying but this episode really highlighted all the absolute worst parts of the apocalypse. It showed the most innocent of people being tortured for no reason with no way out. Hearing children being forced to live in their worst nightmares hit me really hard, and hearing that the avatar in the Dark’s domain was a child as opposed to an adult (perhaps Manuela Dominguez, or maybe even Maxwell Rayner) didn’t do much to help.

Not only this though, but the arguments between Jon and Martin this episode really highlighted the fact that the apocalypse is not only making everyone hurt, but it’s making many people hurt others.

Just like Helen has said, there’s now only the Watcher and the Watched. If you’re not fearing you are the feared, and I think that this episode showed this perfectly, not just with the victims of the Dark, but also between Jon and Martin.

The apocalypse has caused everyone to hurt each other out of necessity and this has applied to Jon and Martin in some very interesting ways. Just by going through the apocalypse together, it forces Jon to hurt Martin just by taking him with him. He is protecting Martin, but by taking him through the fear domains Martin is being hurt as a result.

Jon and Martin are being hurt just by the nature of the apocalypse. It is specifically engineered so that everyone gets hurt, but it also creates circumstances where even those who are supposedly exempt from the hurting end up hurting each other anyway.

I think that one thing that really shows this is Martin finding that the only way to break Jon from a statement is to slap him. He doesn’t want to hurt his partner, nor does he want to see him get hurt but this up until MAG 173 he hasn’t been able to break him from a statement before without physical violence.

Basically, the situation that everyone has found themselves in is forcing hurt from all angles, whether that is from the actual entities, the avatars, or just the bystanders who are trying to do everything right but keep finding themselves doing more wrong.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #mag 173 #the dark #helen #the eye #magnuspod #mag 166 #tma s5 #tma spoilers #em's magnus ramblings

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dorki-c · 3 years

Text

My Guardian Demon |Chapter 1, Part 2: Two Dreams

Relationship: Izuku Midoriya X (Reader)

Rating: 16+

A/N: Hey! Hey! Hey! Everybody! I just wanted to let you all know that in the beginning of this series like prologue story arc wise, I will only be highlighting the main points of said story arc.

TW: Suffocation and depiction of injury!

[Masterlist] [<--- Previous| Next --->]

(Song reccomendation for this chapter: Feeling Good by Michael Bublé)

PROMPT QUESTION FOR THIS STORY ARC: Are all demons ‘bad’?

When leaving the school gates with a silent warning that he gave to (y/n), there were a few minor details bothering him when traversing through the empty streets leading home.

At least he was able to walk alone to clear the commotion of todays events.

Sure, Izuku was used to Bakugou’s harassment towards him. For the most part, his mind always filtered out the nasty phrases that were thrown at him for the longest time.

However, what Bakugou had said was completely out of line.

Telling Izuku to commit suicide? Wow, what a great friend he was (if you could even call him that…).

Though the green-haired boy could easily say that about (y/n) as well. Even though its him and his stupid demon against society.

Was he sure that something may happen today? No, absolutely not. Even when turning a corner of the semi-suburban area that was closest to Aldera Junior High school, Izuku isn’t clairvoyant to anything that involves him.

Nope, not at all.

Even when making his way under the dark tunnel (to which he ignores his demon trying to hold him back from going in there, saying something along the lines of “W-w-wait! I don’t want to go down this way…”), Izuku still holds his head up high and ventures down the tunnel.

Like I said before, the green-haired boy isn’t clairvoyant that involves around him.

Plus, that shouldn’t exempt him from being cautious about what might lurk in the shadows.

Until this point, (y/n) only spoke in short sentences, though the only thing that caught Izuku off guard was the shaky utterance of “Izuku…L-Look behind you!”

He regrets looking behind him; A thing manifesting as a large murky green glob, paired with two large eyes and razor layered teeth (that scarcely resembled shark teeth), loomed over the 14 year old’s body.

I-I-It’s a villain!

As soon as Izuku blinked, one moment he was free and scrambling to his feet (fearful of the sludge villain) and the next, his body was trapped in something slimy… The green sludge body dripped with viscous thick globs as it wrapped like a vice around the boy. With a waterfall of pleading cut short and shown through desperate green eyes as Izuku squirmed annoyingly to the villain, there was no chance of escaping because he would be dead “in a minute” tops.

In a vain attempt to free Izuku from the grasps of the villain, the demon’s futile attempts to scratch away at the slime, only resulted in their misty hands to pass through the slime like their hand was non-existent.

Fuck—If a damn hero isn’t going to save Izuku, then it has to be his demon’s duty to do so.

Though it’s quite challenging for (y/n) to grip Izuku’s shoulders and pull him forward, it doesn’t have enough energy to stall for time.

Was fate cursing (y/n) again? The sun was up high in the sky, yet it always deceived the unguarded and weakest of them all. Didn’t it? If it wasn’t for the saving grace of a frisbee object hitting the villain in the eye, the sludge villain recoiled backwards and (thankfully) released its hostage, where the boy’s limp body met face first into the pavement.

Staying close to Izuku’s unconscious body, (y/n) watched as the pro-hero blatantly invaded their owner’s space and didn’t hear their screeching of something along the words of “DISGUSTING!!!” and “AAAAAAAH BEGONE! BEGONE! BEGONE!!” And the boy wasn’t woken up because of the cheek slaps, it was because of (y/n)’s obnoxious protests of the pro-hero’s cheek slaps.

Let’s not forget the loudest sigh released by the demon when one, Izuku (finally) woke himself up, and two, when that (god forsaken flimsy, annoying, outrageous) hero, was actually the number 1 hero, has retracted his hand from the demon’s owner.

(And (y/n) definitely called the number one hero “a filthy maggot that is followed by an equally filthy contra-” before they were tuned out of Izuku’s ears.)

“Ah! Thought we lost you there!” Announced the hero (to nobody in particular).

This, unfortunately, caused Izuku to pale- where it practically looked like his whole face lost all of its colour, including his eyes- and for (y/n) to think (if they even have thoughts in the first place…) that if there was a camera pointed straight at their face, it would show the most horrifying deadpanned expression on the demon’s non-existent face which would break the camera lens.

Screaming and scampering backwards, Izuku only managed to utter the words “C-C-CAN I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH!!” before seeing his notebook (which was coincidently fish food a couple of minutes ago) signed by the hero and bowing to said hero out of gratefulness, although knowing their owner; (y/n) figured that Izuku would obviously cherish this autograph as a ‘family heirloom’.

(Izuku may or may not have blurted that out in the moment. Oh well. You can’t take everything you say back.)

“I have a question…” Murmured the green haired boy as the hero turned tail to “deliver this villain to the police station!” Sadly, the hero didn’t hear him and was about to leave the boy, where his demon was shaking their head in disappointment- “Why bother asking him?” Whispered (y/n), leaving the faint trace of their empty temperature to scarcely brush his cheek, “The man in front of you is a mere façade of bravery.” - it’s not like Izuku cares about his demon’s opinion.

Even when it’s in situations like this.

(And by situations, I mean when Izuku and his demon are clutching for dear life on the infamous hero’s legs when flying more than fifty feet above the ground.)

Looking below his feet, Izuku is always reminded that great power also has a greater price to it.

And well, All Might would probably agree (if it weren’t for being airborne).

Additionally, why did it look like you were enjoying him scream in fear for his life, when you know that if he dies, you die too.

(Was his demon secretly a sadist?!)

The landing was rocky and rough, but at least his feet managed to stand on their own after a few moments of wobbling and the small rub of your hand against his to beckon him to stand “tall and proud for being uniquely him”.

Glancing towards the hero, (y/n) scoffed in disgust at the retreating soldier whereas Izuku only begged him to “Wait,” continuing along with an unspoken prayer casted off to the sky and “one second!” to remain.

“No!”

It’s typical of a hero to say that word, but situations like this aren’t.

“I don’t have any time.” --- “I have to know!” --- “Why do you bother with him, Izuku?”

The years of quirklessness weren’t new to him. Though he wanted more.

“Even if everyone thinks I’m useless…” Izuku wanted more fulfilment for himself.

“Despite what anybody thinks.” (Y/n) wanted freedom for themself.

“I need to know.” The two of them had dreams.

“Is It possible to become a hero, without a quirk?” Even with a fearless grin, the man before the aftermath was the symbol of peace.

Well to put it simply, the embodiment of peace was secretly a human coat hanger. Now, how would the murky red demon and green haired boy react to said human coat hanger?

Uh…Yeah, they’re both screaming; Izuku was doing it out of horror, (y/n) was doing it out of disgust.

(This is a typical occurrence.)

“WHERE’S ALLMIGHT?!” The worn-down skeleton of a man looked like a couple of popsicle sticks were stuck together with Elmer’s glue as the artist called it a day. Looking left to right, then again, and finally- just for good luck- glanced left and right, as society always said, “Third time is the charm”.

“You! You’re not him!” Izuku profoundly screeched, where in fact both his demon and scrawny adult rolled their eyes. “Izuku, you don’t even have his birth certificate to prove that he—” Though poor (y/n) got cut off by Allmight proclaiming “You know how guys at pools like to suck in their muscles and flex at the same time?” The flaxen haired male then said “I’m kind of like that…” which did nothing to soothe the teenager’s shock.

“What! No! Allmight isn’t some scrawny—old—depressed looking human being!” Oh boy, your owner was as stubborn as an old mule.

“Izuku, stop what your—” Again, (y/n) was cut off by another person, “All Might’s is a hero with a fearless grin who beats every obstacle!”

“Kid, there’s plenty of fear behind a smile. Don’t be fooled.” The rustling of a white shirt caught the attention of the demon and human alike. And what it revealed…well…it was pretty nauseating.

“Pretty gross, isn’t it?”

The merged sickening stitching of skin pulled together in a makeshift attempt to preserve as the hero’s body, at the epicentre of the wound was a thick encircled glob of pink that seemed to allow an abundance of conjoined violet speckles to extend outwards in an attempt to infect the rest of his body.

“I got this in a fight around five years ago.” Relaxing his body, and moving the shirt downwards, the hero continued, “My respiratory system was destroyed, I lost my stomach, and the rest is history.” Even if his shitty joke didn’t lift the depressing tone of reality, all Izuku could do is stand there in shock—maybe a tad bit of horror— however he would’ve never thought that the one and only top hero of Japan had an injury!

(Izuku’s naïve thinking always rubbed his demon the wrong way sometimes.)

“W-wait! Does that mean Toxic Chainsaw gave you this injury!” Chuckling and turning his glance to the side, All Might shook his head. “I’m impressed, you know your stuff- however, that punk couldn’t land a couple hits on me, even if they wanted to.” “Most of the world wouldn’t have known about this fight, regardless of how much you dug through any news articles.”

(And most of the world would’ve never known about the deadly purple miasma growing on their precious hero’s body.) .

“This job isn’t easy, and to be nice—” At least Izuku would listen to All Might, whereas he ignored you at least 50% of the time, “—I think you would be better off picking a better profession, like a Police officer!”

------------------------------------------

“I mean he is right…” (Y/n) said to Izuku, as they continued their trek back home, with the boy loathful to agree at the red mist’s statement.

“Heroism isn’t easy.” Maybe he should give up his dream?

“You saw how disgusting his wound was.” He could be horribly injuried like All Might if he tries. “It’s practically oozing with miasma.” But Izuku can’t bring himself to give up his dream.

And if Izuku ever asked you to give up your dream of freedom, you would answer back with defiance.

“I know it isn’t easy (y/n).”

“I know I could die or get a wound like that.”

“But I’m not giving up on my dream, if you aren’t going to give up on yours.”

Alas, the gloriously golden sun highlighted the features of the old dusk that was soon turning into their new dawn.

(And might I say, if society got in their way, they will pay their dues the hard way.)

Taglist:

@glitterfreezed, @izukubabe, @sweater-weather-seven, @nyanyabisjjj, @quietlegends, @dragonsdreamoffire, @candybabey, @honeylavender13

CREDITS:

All content and art used within this story belongs to their respective owners. PLAGARISM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

Art credits: Dorki-C and @glitterfreezed

[MASTERLIST OF “My Guardian Demon”] [MAIN MASTERLIST]

#Izuku midoriya bnha #Izuku midoriya mha #Izuku midoriya #Izuku midoriya x y/n #Mha Au #Bnha au #Toshinori Yagi #Toshinori Yagi mha #All Might bnha #All Might mha #mha x reader #Mha x y/n #bnha x y/n #bnha x reader #Izuku Midoriya X Reader

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