Sorry to all of you who are patiently waiting for the final chapters of my WIP. I’m in the hospital again (developed a hiatal hernia that had me rushed to the ER because of pain and low O2 sats). Now, I’m pretty drugged up rn so anything I write for “Tender is the touch” has a high likelihood of making zero sense. I’ve literally been trying to write this post since yesterday but I keep going in and out sleep and waking up to find I’ve written nonsense.

I’m still struggling to breathe and the new tracheostomy will probably happen soon in the next week or so, before I have the hernia repair surgery. The anesthesiology team are worried that my airway won’t tolerate an endotracheal tube very well, too much scar tissue.

Honestly, this all really fucking sucks. I don’t want any more surgery and I don’t want a new trach. Being in the ICU with its sounds and smells is super triggering for my medical trauma, tbh. I’m so tired and I’m so scared. But I am grateful for my sweet, angel of a nurse who has been sitting with me when she has time to help me through the extreme anxiety and panic attacks. She’s been holding my hand and giving me cool cloths for my forehead. She’s even told me stories about her little baby, and shared photos with me, since I told her I love babies. It’s helped a bit. It’s a good distraction at the very least.

Please send any good thoughts, vibes, prayers or whatever you prefer to send. I need good vibes for better seizure management (already had two tonic clonic seizures since being admitted to the hospital yesterday morning), good vibes for my heart to continue to handle the extra stress my body is under right now, and good vibes for the hernia surgery I’m going to have in the coming days.

Thank god for the cocktail of heavy meds that are keeping me comfy and calm and the extra breathing support I’m receiving now to help with the air hunger.

Hopefully I’ll be back to my writing sometime in the next week or so. I have to remind myself that these hospital stays never last forever. Thanks for all of your continued patience. 💜

(Hope this wasn’t just one big long wall of nonsense-text. lol)

i hateeee jokes about arab parents only wanting sons and not wanting daughters because 1- when it's like that, that's an awful thing and not something to be joked about and 2- it spits on the face of every arab parent who consistently has to put their middle finger up to the world and say fuck you my daughter is my greatest treasure and i'd rather have her than a thousand sons and i won't hear a word against her!! because in my experience these are the most loving parents to be found in the whole wide world

HI UM... your art is eye-catching but i just saw that ur requests are open SO. (about to request deepweb UTAUs) could you doodle a dr. dareka and nurse robot type_t pls?? i dont see much about them especially dareka and im obsessed w him cries. my sis is obsessed with the nurse instead SO IT COMES UP PRETTY HANDY THANK YOU

I can’t believe someone else knows them! 〜(^∇^〜）

Random question: opinion on wedding dress figure versions?

And I do mean wedding DRESS versions. Not the wedding bikinis that so many companies make >.<

thank you for your question! :) personally i think wedding figures are often characters that are very popular amongst male characters and it kinda plays into the whole waifu thing. often these are either romance shows or fanservicey/ecchi shows, which are not the genres i watch so very few characters i like have wedding figures. ofcourse anyone can like wedding figures and there's usually nothing wrong with them, this is just my personal observation!

the only characters from shows i've seen that have a wedding figure are kanade from angel beats, junko & ai from zombie land saga and ofcourse miku. i don't love any of these figures so i don't think i'd personally own a wedding figure!

i actually don't really love any wedding figure (yes i just checked the whole wedding tag on mfc) but some i like based purely on aesthetics are muramasa and natalia (white is so beautiful on dark/tan skin), enterprise, azusa (this one is simple but i love the 2000s look of it), ranko, nekopara girls (I SAID based purely on aesthetics. if you ignore any controversy and pretend these are just random catgirl girlfriends they are very cute.) and sakura.

it really is so funny to me that all i remember is vague stinging after they gave me the anesthesia and saying “oh” really loud (to me it was loud but probably not to anyone else in the room) before getting knocked the fuck out. then suddenly i was awoken and told to get dressed. ma’am can you give me a moment please i was just on another planet

something i think people forget about aaron is that not only is he a d1 athlete for a sport with a massive fan base, but he's also a pre-med student. like i cannot even imagine the amount of pressure on him before the yakuza/mafia got involved. and then the yakuza... omg... this poor guy can't catch a break

mmommyyyyy i cummed my brainsoutt ams all ststupid n silly more than usual rn hehehehehehehe...

alls can think about is how much i wanna nurse kn youuu wwanna suckle n be all cclosee n keep being brainlesd while i drift off to sleeppp.. -shy

you cummed your brain out? I'm sure that doesn't take much, you are already so mindless! it's impressive that you could get more stupid and silly when you are already such a dummy <3 nursing on me is all your pretty little mind needs to think about. you should get to be thoughtless for as long as possible, it's good for you.

wtf i'm already 1 year on T

just got out of a doc appointment involving anesthesia AGAIN, very happy to know that even when I’m loopy as fuck I’m still a nice enough person to give very a polite “please” and “thank you” to the nurse despite being too tired to lift my head up

my brain, threateningly/temptingly, to myself:

Pelipper Mail!

It's a carefully constructed box. Inside the box, is a single apple of each kind and a small bunch of grapes. The same ones mentioned in earlier asks.

A note is attached to it:

I can't be able to get you some cotton candy, but this will be close enough right? - R.F anon

t-thank you!! ..i havent been feeling too hot haha...

the thought is appreciated though!..

Franz: *wird durch Schlag auf den Kopf ausgeknockt*

Auch Franz, keine fünf Minuten nachdem er wieder bei Bewusstsein ist: "Kannst du mich ins Präsidium fahren?"

hi ally!!! loved the a&e chapter i think you did a wonderful job and i liked seeing the new cast of characters especially denise! i think you should try to not worry too much about your unbetaed fics because you’ve nailed the last two 🩵🩵

Yay!! Thank you so much! I was really worried about the previous chapter and this one due to the lack of beta reading / the absence of my usual sounding board - the timing was also incredible with it being the two "big" chapters in the fic (and by that I mean the break up and then fictional!Matty admitting he had a problem and needed help) and I'm so glad that even with the behind the scenes changes to the process you enjoyed the chapter! I was really excited to get to bring Fictional!Denise into the story, and am so happy to hear that you liked my version of her! Thank you so much again for your kind words, for taking the time to reach out and for reading! I really appreciate it and hope that you like the last few chapters as well!

❤️Ally

Finished bloodborne tonight, like actually really finished it. Killed the dlc boss one more time, tied up all the loose ends i cared about, walked slowly out to the garden, and got the last ending to the game. Even if we never get a bloodborne 2, I really hope fromsoft makes another game like this, with no weight system and a battle system built around parrying. i had so much fun with it. Because parrying is your only defensive option, and all the enemies in the game are designed to be parried, i felt so much more free to try it out. Even in elden ring i find myself shying away from parrying bc i don’t know which attacks can be parried and which are just arbitrarily unblockable. Never had that problem in bloodborne, and got really, really good at timing my parries. What a blast.

Feels kind of bittersweet to say goodbye to such a great game. The Doll’s parting words of “may you find your worth in the waking world” took on a perfect meta feeling in the end. I can tell this game is going on the list of “games i wish i could forget so i can re-experience it for the first time.” Thanks to everyone who worked on this game and made it so incredible. 

ahhhhHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Yes I watched the Knives Out movie. And just to summarise my feelings for it in the least spoilered way in one long runon....

It was that moment when you watch a movie that GETS suspension of disbelief in the way that you have a wild storyline told in the most loving and believable way. That moment when you watch a movie where it kinda feels that the storyteller was EXCITED about telling their weird but FUN tale and draws you in with that. That moment when a movie also understands pacing and characterisation and moves it all along in such a fun way. Where you don't need scenes that show a character's personality because every. bit. counts in the most DELIGHTFUL of ways both showing the characters and having those moments of characterisation be relevant to the mystery. That moment when you watch a movie that has a message about kindness and the complexity of human relationships. That moment when a movie is really just fun and such a delight to watch because it knows how to hook you in....like

By no means is it a deep deep meaningful soul shattering movie. But it IS the kind of movie I think I would want to rewatch with how delightful and intriguing it is and how it just seems like everyone is having a grand ol time with this story....

i’m now realizing my dragon phase as a kid is probably thanks to watching spirited away pretty early in my life asdf