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creepymutelilbugger · 8 months

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"i have to water the shitbird wait a minute"

"prosper stupid poultry"

#196 #rule #shitpost #memes stolen from my discord #thank you Sir Bia 🇷🇸🫡#de #muted

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beaft · 2 years

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a customer just came in and ordered a flat white with six (6) shots in it. for clarity thats like.. a full cup of espresso with maybe an inch of milk sitting on top. this mf is trying to meet the hat man

#he drank it with every appearance of enjoyment #im like thank you sir. can i get you anything else sir. your last will and testament maybe #be shh now

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noodles-and-tea · 12 days

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I just discovered your Merlin fanart and I would like to say I love the way you perfectly capture the expressions and uniqueness of each character! Have you ever drawn Gwaine or any of the other knights other than Arthur? (I love the way you draw Arthur btw cause Bradley has such an expressive face and you capture it perfectly)

Thank you!! Here is some Gwaines ;)))

#Colin and Bradley have such distinctive faces they’re SUCH fun to draw #but now I’ve drawn gwaine #(for the first time here in a bit embarrassed to say)#hee hee Leon next #but thank you for the kind words!!!#my art #ask #bbc merlin #merlin #sir gwaine #gwaine #gwaine Merlin

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cubbyyyy · 3 months

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You know what makes me sit in silence everytime i think about it?

The fact that Andrew was attracted to every version of Neil.

He thought he was hot when he still had his brown eyes/brown hair

He thought he was hot when he had blue eyes/brown hair

He thought he was hot when he had blue eyes/auburn hair and the number 4 tattooed under his eye. ”you are a pipe dream“ , he said, looking at Neils bruised and most honest self.

Then Baltimore. Neil got tortured. Got bruised all over his skin, scars that’ll never be forgotten and what does Andrew do? He asks yes or no and kisses his hip.

It sure af wasn’t love at first sight but the fact that his initial attraction never faded gives you a hint about what Neil is for Andrew.

(Not to mention how the versions of Neil changed the more Andrew learned about Neil as well. First he was Neil. Then he was Abram. Then he was Nathaniel. Until he finally became Neil Abram Josten.

All the lies. All the truths. It all came together and Andrew was there during all of it).

and if I start talking about Neil falling for Andrew the more he learned about him and the role he took over-

(Neil is there to protect the one who protects them all)

#andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #aftg #they are in love sir #don’t get me started on Neil fr #or how this is a metaphor about life #andrew will stay no matter what #seeing the ugly and still be in love #life is ugly #but they have each other #so it’s okay #in love with nora for writing them #nora sakavic #thank you #you were amazing #don’t make the Neil though

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minorheroics · 6 months

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rtd writing those doctor who specials like

#thank you sir #that was fun #doctor who #the star beast #dw spoilers

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silkythewriter · 4 months

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I had an idea for a few headcanons you could do if ya want—

Maybe Sir Pentious with a reader who is so obviously in love with him, and keeps pining over him while literally everyone else but Sir Pentious himself can tell they like him? Like he's just really oblivous until reader finally straight up tells him.

Sir Pentious with a clearly in love reader!(●’◡’●)❤︎︎

Warnings!: Non!

Fandoms!:Hazbin hotel!

Author’s note!: HI HI OMG I LOVE SIR PENTIOUS HES SO SILLY!!!! I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS I DID

Summary!: reader who’s clearly in love with our favorite snake demon

❤️Written by silkythewriter Do not steal or repost on any other platform please! ❤️

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

“Call me, you can call me

Boy, just call me (call me, call me)

While you stalling, I'm evolving

I'd give all me”

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

!🐍✨Sir Pentious✨🐍!

First of all, just to get out of the way, THIS MAN IS OBLIVIOUS!!!!, Autism be damned my boy can pull without even telling!!!!!

No but in all seriousness he is oblivious to your obvious longing for him.

Everyone can see you giving him shy longing stares only for him to be ranting about his latest invention. Not only would he not be able to tell but he’d always think your just being nice!

Of course he’s crushing hard behind his bedroom door to his little eggs. Happily stating and going on rambles of how gorgeous you looked today. He’d state everything! From the new hair style you tried to the new piece of clothing you bought and wore. When I mean he notices everything I mean it, but for some reason he can’t pick up on your obvious love for him.

The way he could stare in your eye as you tell him he looks breathtaking and still think you mean it just to be nice is astonishing. OF COURSE HES BLUSHING AND KICKING HIS TAIL, but he can’t bring himself to think you like him anymore than just friends!

He’d go to his egg boys and sadly rant on how you’ll only see him as friend. And the egg boys all share one Brain cell so they can’t tell you like him aswell!, maybe they might accidentally spill, or almost spill the secret of him liking you but he quickly knocks them away before you can make sense of what their saying.

All the residents watch as you do your best to drop hints only for him to complete miss it. Even angel cringes as he watches him completely be oblivious to the obvious flirting, it’s take Charlie and Vaggie to stop him from pointing out the obvious.

Husk almost always gives Sir Pentious as gaze of just utter confusion and tiredness.

He’d gladly take flowers from you that you gifted him and take care of it for weeks on end without realizing the romantic gesture!

Alastor, as always finds it humorous, although he usually doesn’t indulge himself in romantic like things he’s find it hilarious. “Even with three eyes he still can’t see the obvious! Ha!”

Charlie tries to help to the best of her ability to help guid him the right direction but it’s just end up with him more confused. Vaggie just face slaps internally,

honestly the whole crew wasn’t having high hopes for him as dim as that is. , look! He ain’t bad looking, but not many people would prefer his clumsy self, so they were honestly hoping he’d figure it out before you possibly moved on.

Even when your upset at the obvious frustrating situation he’s still be confused while trying to do his best to comfort you.

“Well I think the man isss clearly as dumb as a rock!”

It took you starring dead in his eyes for him to question if you were alright. Before you stated it was him

The way he just stood staring at you in pure disbelief, before snapping out of it and embarrassed as his previous words. But after the said embarrassment he’s full with giddy, why of course you love him!, he’s the great sir pentious!

Yea his embarrassment would quickly turn into pride, considering he got someone as beautiful as you to fall for him.

Definition of a clumsy gentlemen, he’d open doors so fast it’d smack him in the face, or pull when it’s a push door and be confused why it’s not opening.(´ω｀💧)

He’s just a silly lil guy! (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

I feel like the crew in the hotel would be relief to find he finally figured out.

At the end of the night he’s squealing like a high school girl as he rambles to his egg boys about you in a new light!.

He’s gift you small little trinkets or happily spend hours with you talking!

He’s as lovesick as your are! He’s just a bit dense when it comes to accepting the fact you love.

It’s like the roles switched! Now he’s daydreaming-ly staring at you happy to have you as his, and him a yours.

Like I’ve said before! He’s a total drama queen, he can’t help it!, deny him a kiss teasingly? He’s crumbling down to the ground and holding his chest as if he just had a heart attack! (¬_¬)

He’s not at all secretive of his love for you, even if he wants to, to keep his image “professional”, he just can’t help and dote on you!

overall he’s a big dote and softy even if he tries to hide it, loves you with his whole being! ( ˘ω˘ ) He can a be a bit over the top sometimes but you’ll come to accept it! And hey who wouldn’t want a silly snake demons who’s tripping over their tail for you. Yea you got him in and over his head but he wouldn’t have it any other way. The roles have truly reversed(≖ᴗ≖✿)

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

I LOVE HIS SILLY LIL SELF SO MUCH MORE PEOPLE SHOULD WRITE FOR HIM :(. TYSM FOR THE REQUEST I LOVED IT SM!!!! PLEASE COME AGAIN!!

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see-arcane · 2 years

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3/4 of the Dracula cast, including side characters: -takes 10 pages of yammering to get around to making a single point-

Quincey Morris, King of Brevity, reading the situation for 0.5 seconds: Uh huh, cool. So where’s the blood going?

Jack Seward, in tears, both from the Lucy issue and gratitude at not sitting through another corn metaphor for half an hour: I don’t fucking KNOW--

#Quincey Morris is The American Character (c)#and so has the luxury of not having to inject 30 adverbs and adjectives into every sentence when a thought occurs to him #thank you for this sir #quincey morris #jack seward #dracula #dracula daily

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thepunkmuppet · 2 months

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HAPPY GERARD DAY HELLSITE!!!!!!!

YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!

#UGH oh my fucking god I’m so in love with them I could CRY his smile :’) what a lad #he’s just cheesin #as he should tbh he literally awkward photo grins just like me #anyway I hope he has a wonderful day and that he’s happy!!<3333 #I’ve really genuinely had such a great time getting into mcr this past month it’s been so fun #thank you michael romance sir(s) I love being annoying and insufferable about things :)#gerard way #gee way #jared wee #gerald wave #jordan whale #gerry keay (real) (I swear)#mcr #my chemical romance #my chemical fucking romance #my chem

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crowleyholmes · 9 months

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Self-indulgent Crowley-is-just-so-beautiful post

“You don’t have to test everything to destruction just to see if you made it right.”

#@philosophicaldefenestration thank you for reminding me of the questioning god one because i almost forgot!!!!!#but that's such an important one!!!#good omens #goodomensedit #goodomensgifs #crowley #david tennant #mine #my gifs #i've been practicing drawing his face today #which yk required a lot of looking at his face #which led to me going a little bit insane because he #he's just #so beautiful #and for what #mr tennant sir pls your face get it under control

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inkykeiji · 1 month

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⋆₊˚⊹♡ touya-nii + his nasty habit of sneaking into your bedroom

character: todoroki touya | dabi warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, pseudocest, noncon, a slight bit of degradation, implied size difference words: 1.2k

he’s always careful when he starts. careful when he creeps into your room in the middle of the night, sock clad feet quiet against the hardwood; careful to keep the doorhandles latch from catching on the strike plate as he closes it behind him; careful not to wake you as he slinks into your frilly little bed, knocking stuffed animals and extra pillows onto the floor, as he worms his way beneath your pink-piped comforter and slithers his hand between your silky thighs—ah, good girl, you’re not wearing those pesky sleep shorts, just like he told you not to (good little sisters only wear panties to bed; and sometimes, they don’t even wear those, he had informed you)—and then wiggles his fingers under your lacy undies.

that’s when he stops being careful.

because he loves that sharp gasp of surprise, that sheer unadulterated bolt that courses through your body—shock in the purest, prettiest form—that jolts you from your blissful slumber almost violently; skin shuddering, eyes snapping open, when he shoves two dirty fingers into your ill-prepped cunt.

it’s his favourite sound in the world, he swears it is, swears he would bottle it up and keep it close to his heart if he could, swears he would wear it around his neck like the cutest, daintiest little noose, tethering him to you.

but this is the next best thing, he supposes.

your eyes slip shut again, so tightly they crinkle the corners and furrow your brow, and a whine of his name spills from your lips; first in frustration, then again all wispy and dumb when he curls his knuckles against that plush spot buried deep inside of you—that spot he knows so well, that spot he discovered, then claimed as his own.

yeah, not so irritated now, are ya, y’little brat.

no, you’re not. you’re sighing out his name in time with the pumps of his fingers, all melty and stupid and oh-so-cute, knotted with his honorific and seeping into your lace-trimmed pillows in little threads of drool. you’re grinding your ass back against his hard cock as you pathetically hump his palm, indulging him as his hips rut into your plush flesh, pre-cum steadily leaking through his thin pyjama pants, staining plaid in dark wet patches.

“touya-nii,” you whimper, back arching a little, nipples peaked through the thin cotton of your camisole. “stop, stop.”

this is the routine almost every time, practiced and perfected through night after night of rehearsals, and you play your part flawlessly; effortless and enticing and full of emphasis, because you know he gets off on it—the no!s and wait!s and don’t!s, sometimes spit from your lips, sometimes dribbling out the corner of your mouth, only heightening the whole sordid affair.

because you’re just as fucking sick as your big brother is.

he can’t stop, don’t you know?

it’s all your fault, he’s telling you, voice caught somewhere between accusatory and mocking. if you weren’t such a slutty little tease, nii-chan wouldn’t have to do this.

but it’s all just a game; he knows you love it just as much as he does, knows you’re just as depraved as he is, because your actions don’t match your words, you bad girl, the rolling of your hips encouraging the rocking of his own, one of your free hands threading itself over his and guiding it to your breast, bony knuckles pressing into a soft palm as his fingers flex around supple flesh.

if you didn’t love it, if you didn’t want it, then why would you prance around the house in those short, short little dresses? the ones that fan out when you twirl to your music in the living room or ride up when you bend over while cooking in the kitchen, gifting anyone within the immediate vicinity (your vile siblings and their prying eyes) a coveted glimpse of the silk and lace clinging delicately to your cheeks; the ones that are an inch or two too short to be considered wholly decent, and the ones Daddy has repeatedly told you to stop wearing around your big brothers—especially the eldest.

“m’sorry, touya-nii, m’sorry, m’sorry.”

no, you’re not, but that’s okay. he isn’t, either.

at least you have each other.

your other hand snakes between your tensing thighs, cupping his own, little fingers layering larger ones as they try to speed up his motions, push his digits deeper, fuck you harder, give you more.

these trysts never last long enough, though; no matter how hard he tries to lengthen them, to savour them, you’re both too eager, too hungry for one another, cumming too quickly in the dead of night as your bodies tremble together, as names shatter on tongues in sharp whispers and limbs seize and tangle and fuse into one.

it’s always so fucking messy, your cunt clenching around your conjoined fingers, slick dribbling down his knuckles in thick dollops to pool in his hand, to settle in the lines of his palm and streak his inner wrist in pretty shimmering streams.

it’s always so fucking messy, his grunts hot and humid against the nape of your neck, forehead pressed to the crown of your head as his cock throbs, filling flannel with copious amounts of burning, sticky cum—so much it seeps through the material to soak your scrunched panties, so much it dries in a hard glaze, welding lace to your ass.

you don’t ever dare to wash it off, clean it away, eradicate the evidence, instead allowing each other’s pleasure to stain your skins, wearing it like a mark of honour, a claim of ownership, barely visible when it dries into something firm and translucent, but there nonetheless.

his fingertips continue to flutter against that swollen spot until ripples of overstimulation are shuddering through your flesh, until your little hand is wreathing around his syrupy wrist and nails are biting into his flesh and tugging, tears beginning to bead your lashes.

only then does he chuckle and pull his hand free, knuckles hooking in an attempt to scrape your walls, a heavy coat of your arousal glistening on his fingers.

“you cum so fucking much for your big brother,” he growls in your ear, lips wet against the cartilage, voice tapering off into a whine. “look at how wet you get for me.”

two of his fingers flatten against your cheek and then swipe, slow and hard and thorough, smearing a thick film of your slick across your face, from the tip of your temple to the corner of your mouth, back and forth and back and forth until it’s been rubbed into your skin.

callused fingertips push past your parted lips, weighing down on your tongue and cramming themselves into your throat, forcing you to taste yourself—to taste him, painted in you; spicy nicotine and heady salt.

“you’re fucking disgusting,” he pants out, but his pupils are gaping, watching as your gorge yourself on your big brother’s flesh, lips puckering and cheeks hollowing as your tongue curls around his knuckles and tries to siphon him further down your throat.

a whine splinters in his chest as he pulls his extremities free from your voracious grip, slathered in spit, viscous cords strung between his knuckles as he spreads them apart.

“yeah, you’re real fucking sick, y’know that?”

“you made me like this, nii-chan,” you breathe out dreamily, already drifting back into sleep’s welcoming embrace, body going lax in his arms and snuggling back against his chest.

yeah, he fucking did.

and neither of you would have it any other way.

#dabi smut #dabi x reader #dabi x you #todoroki touya smut #todoroki touya x reader #todoroki touya x you #wrote this real quick before bed last night #after my boyfriend had slathered my own slick all over my face hehehe #so thank u for inspiring this lil piece sir #inky.touya #inky.dabi #tw:noncon #tw:pseudocest

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stagefoureddiediaz · 2 months

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They let Ryan out of PR jail and he is using his new found freedom to ensure we all know exactly where he stands and and what he thinks about Buck and Eddie and their relationship

#let Ryan do more interviews #sir I thank you for your service #Ryan is the biggest buddie shipper of us all #he loves him to the core will be loving rent free in my head forever #911 abc #ryan guzman #buck and eddie #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley

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lilykerhoas · 2 months

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floating, falling, sweet intoxication...

@shakeatradefeather's master. august 2023.

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brewed-pangolin · 5 months

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Thank you, sir. Yes, ma'am

Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish x Fem Reader

18+MDNI Sexual Themes

Soap MacTavish is, above everything else, a gentleman.

He holds the door open for you, makes you dinner when you've had a hard day.

Let's you handle the finances and own the home you share because he's comfortable in his own masculinity to let the woman run the household (man exudes feminist appreciation, c'mon).

And he respects you. More than any human being ever has. And you can't help but show your admiration for his gratitude every once in a while.

But please, for the love of God, do NOT refer to him as 'Sir' when he's on leave. Especially when you're out in public.

He doesn't find it offensive or as a constant reminder of the world of responsibility he has to return to.

In fact, it's quite the opposite.

That single term of authority, uttered so sweetly from that pretty little mouth of yours, causes his brain to misfire and can't help the unbridled urge to fuck you right then and there.

If you're enjoying a night out, and you call him 'Sir' after giving him thanks for opening the door for you, expect to be pulled into the nearest alleyway, dress hiked up above your hips and one leg draped over his shoulder as he devours your cunt like a feverishly starved madman.

Or, say he paid for dinner because you paid for the previous. And to show your gratitude, you gently lean over the table, batting your eyes and give him a gentle kiss. Only to whisper, oh so lovingly, 'thank you, sir' against his lips.

If you do so happen to make it back to his 4Runner, you'll be shoved in unceremoniously into the backseat with greedy hands, tearing your clothes away while his lips show their appreciation by hungrily encapsulating over your mouth. Only to be contorted into an incomprehensible pretzel as he shows you just how much he loves you by mindlessly fucking you into oblivion.

And that's just the setup for the main event to when you do finally get back home. Behind closed doors and in the comfort of his own walls is where Soap truly shines with his kinky fuckery. Bending you over any flat surface within arms reach, pressing you up against every wall to get a few quick pumps of his cock deep into your needy little pussy until it all culminates with you both fucking like animals on your bed.

By the end, you will both be completely overstimulated and spent. Splayed out over top the mattress, limbs entangled and drenched in sweat as you both come down from your umpteenth orgasm.

"Thank you, Sir." You praise in a drained and muffled whisper, eyes glazed with an overly confident expression curling into your eyes as you gaze upon his sweat glistened and heaving chest.

And Soap's response is exactly what you'd expect from a gentleman such as himself. Breathless, and breathtaking.

"Yes, ma'am."

Drabbles Masterlist

@deadbranch @sofasoap @d3athtr4psworld @punishmepunisher @jynxmirage @homicidal-slvt @glitterypirateduck @obligatoryghoststare @mykneeshurt @astraluminaaa @shotmrmiller @writeforfandoms @simpingoverquestionablemen @haurasha @ang3lc @thetrashpossum @kkaaaagt @luismickydees @designateddeadend

#super soap sunday #soap squad #soap squad 🧼#thank you sir yes ma'am #johnny soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #soap mactavish #john mactavish #soap x you #soap x reader #soap smut #cod smut #call of duty #cod #incomprehensible pretzel again

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silvermun · 1 year

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The King’s orders are absolute ⚔️

my full illustration for the @shadow-zine!

#sonic and the black knight #satbk #satbk sir lancelot #satbk sir gawain #satbk sir percival #satbk king arthur #shadow the hedgehog #knuckles the echidna #blaze the cat #my art #super super excited to finally share this piece!!! it’s one i’m really proud of ^^#thank you very much to lynn and the team for inviting me to the project this was an amazing experience!#and if you’ve got the zine pls check out mimca’s story that accompanies this piece :D #and big shoutout to rook for helping inspire this!!!

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morika · 6 days

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he is like a secretary to me 📞

#honkai star rail #welt yang #morikart #his one pixel smile is so endearing like thank you sir lol #trying out another rendering style because i DIED drawing anythin with lineart omigod

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ghouljams · 5 months

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Ok but… single dad!price playing with his kid??? Ngl that’d have me asking him if he’d want more 👀👀👀

You watch as a child runs(toddles) to Price, only to be scooped up and tossed in the air by the man. You'd be more worried except that the peals of laughter speak to this being a familiar experience. Similarly the bear hug that the child is caught in, and the way Price leans forward to tip the child over his arms and kiss their cheek with a loud smack, make you think this happens a lot. "Daddy that tickles!" comes through breathless laughter, as Price pulls them both up to stand straight. He shift the kid to sit against his hip, and gives him a short bounce.

"Where's your nanny bud?" He asks, wiping some crumbs off the kid's cheek. The little boy scrunches his face up and tries to wiggle away from his father's hand. You cover your mouth to try and hide the giggle that threatens to slip free. They're a cute pair, the kid looks just like him.

"She said, um, she said," The kid can't be more than three, doing his best at talking with all the starts and stops of still learning. He glances at you, and leans against Price's shoulder, cupping his hand to whisper. Price hums, and turns his head so the kid can talk in his ear with a small smile. He mouths a silent 'sorry' at you and you shake your head with a smile. He told you he had a kid before you started dating, you can't fault him for being a father.

"You can say hi," Price tells his boy when the kiddo pulls away. He bounces him on his hip again and the kid leans his head against Price's shoulder, suddenly shy. He looks at you under his dad's jaw with a small smile and gives a little wave. You wave back with a friendly grin. "I've gotta put 'im to bed, do you mind if-"

"Not at all," You tell him, following Price inside the house when he holds the door. He directs you towards the couch and you take a seat, waiting for whatever bedtime rituals this little family of two has to finish. You can hear the soft melody of Price's voice as he sings quiet lullabies to his child through the walls, and it makes you smile a little wider. When he comes back it's with tight smile.

"Thanks for waiting, I know it's not-"

You cut him off again, "It's no trouble at all, your boy comes first." Price hums, dropping down next to you on the couch. He loops an arm around your shoulders and pulls you close against his side. "You're a good dad," You say, just... well just because you know he worries about it.

"Tryin' to be," He sighs. You cuddle a little closer against him, pick your feet up to swing over his lap. His free hand drops to rest against your thigh, thumb swiping against your leg idly.

"You ever think about having more?" You ask, curious. It's not the sort of question you usually broach so early in a relationship, but watching him with his kid makes you feel a little...

"We can start tryin' any time, sweetheart." Price rumbles low in his chest, the hand on your leg squeezes gently. You laugh at the joke, and his hand slips between your legs to press against you, firm fingers rubbing just where you like. You suck in a breath and try not to rock too desperately into the touch. "Already seen how good I treat one baby," He breathes, the firm pressure between your legs terribly distracting, "you want me to fuck another into you, all you gotta do is ask."

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