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ashecampos · 19 days

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ANYONE BUT HER 7

JANIS IMI-IKE X FEM READER

a little Regina x reader

Warnings - swearing, mentions of cheating, mentions of anxiety. Regina being Regina. Hurt. Angst

The POV switches between reader and Janis (I use — when I change the POV)

there will be more parts to this, make sure to reblog and comment and I will get the next few parts up as soon as I can, happy reading lovelies 🫶🏼

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TALES OF TESSA MAKE SURE TO READ THIS AND PREVIOUS PARTS BEFORE THIS, LINKED IS FROM THE POV OF TESSA (readers best friend)

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I am startled awake by a familiar vibration next to my head, i squint to see who’s phone is ringing, of course it is mine. I groan and sleepily wiggle out of Janis’ arms, grabbing my phone while exiting the room to take the call, I find my way to the bathroom again and sit against the bathtub, answering the call not bothering to read the caller ID, assuming it’s Tessa or Damien.

“Y/n?” The person on the other end asks, as if they knew there would be a chance someone else could’ve answered. I instantly freeze up recognising the voice on the other side of the phone call. “B..Bea? Why the fuck are you calling me?” I say as I start to pace back and forth. “I know im the last person you want to hear this from but I was told you have been seeing Janis Imi’ike, im so sorry y/n” she says, obviously putting what she needs to say off. “Just spit it out bea, whatever you must say, say it” i speak with a sense of urgency “me and Janis have been seeing eachother in secret for a few months now, she had admitted she only helped you that night to make sure you broke up with me” she says. I search for a reason for her to be lying about this but come up with nothing, all rational thoughts gone. I make quick work of ending the call and storming back into the room where me and Janis were peacefully sleeping not even five minutes prior. I grab my hoodie and jeans, throwing them on, I then grab my shoes and leave.

One foot after the other I make a run from it. Like I ran from bea when she cheated. Like I’ve ran from every situation that’s caused me pain. I make my way back to my house, seeing a figure sat on my poarch, it seems they had saw me before i got the chance to see them. The person stands up and walks over. Only now do I realise the hot, sticky tears running down my cheeks causing my ability to make out the person falter. I desperately rub my face using the sleeves of my hoodie, silently praying it’s not my mom who is the one to see me like this. Thankfully I see blonde hair. Bleached blonde hair. Regina George.

She makes her way over, her pace quickening when she sees the state im in. “Oh y/n what happened? Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?” She bombards me with questions while gripping my chin and tilting my head up to look at my face properly. A frown upon her own. “I’m fine I just want to be alone, go see Aaron or something Regina” I choke out trying to hold back the tears threatening to pour again. She shakes her head, unhanding my face and instead grabbing my hand, dragging me into the house. And up the stairs into my room. “Jesus y/n why is your room so dark. No wonder you’re so pale..no offence” she says while running to my curtains, pulling them open and allowing the natural light inside. I wince at the brightness of the morning sun.

She sits me down on my bed, leaning closer to me. “So tell me what’s got you so upset?” She says gently and in a genuine tone. So I tell her everything. I mean it’s Regina George. She may be seen as the ‘queen bee’ but honestly she’s never been bad to me or my brother so I trust her.

“So let me get this straight. She got you to break up with your ex so she could get with her then continued to see the both of you behind each other’s backs? Oh my god. I’m going to kill her” the blonde says while grabbing her phone out of her pocket and aggressively typing away. After a few seconds she looks up and smiles sadly “you’re gonna sit with me and my group at lunch now, trust me she won’t bother you baby.” She says while putting her phone away.

——-

I wake up and stretch, extending my arms out, feeling the surface of the sofa to find it empty. My eyes shoot open looking for the girl. She’s nowhere to be seen. I groggily stand up and head for the bathroom. She wasn’t there either. I sigh assuming she got asked to run some errands by her mom or something. I turn some music on and start to move the basement back to how it was before the date.

The day goes by so fast. The day turns into the next and then the next. No word from y/n at all. She must just be busy.

Entering school on the Monday was probably one of the worst decisions of my life. First everyone was looking at me. Then I got to my locker and there she was at hers. She sees me and walks away quickly. I frown assuming she was just in a mood with it being so early in the day or something like that.. until I see Damien and Tessa storming over. “Janis ‘Imi’ike I have known you for fifteen years but this. This is a new low even for you” the boy starts. “Tell me this is some sick joke right now Janis I swear to god” Tessa says almost immediately after Damien. I look at them taken aback at their sudden disgust and anger toward me. “Can someone please tell me what I done?” I say slamming my locker shut, staring both of them down. “you used her to fuck her ex. Janis I thought you genuinely liked her” Tessa snapped before Damien could say anything “what are you talking about? I do like her. And I despise bea” I say, frowning. “well the morning after you and her had that date night, I got a call from Regina telling me to haul ass to y/N’s house because the poor girl was hysterical, turns out Bea had called her and told her everything about you and… oh fuck, it’s a setup. We need to get to y/n before they do anything else”

——-

These past few days Regina has been the nicest I’ve ever known her to be, yes she is the ‘queen bitch’ of north shore but she’s always been nice to me for some reason. After what happened the other day, she’s only been nicer. I haven’t really spoke to anyone about what happened. I kinda went off the radar until Tessa turned up at my house demanding to know why I hadn’t been answering. Naturally I broke down and told her everything and after reassuring her (a lot) that i would be okay, she left to go home and sleep for school. Aaron didn’t really care about what happened. Not that I really told him. Yes he’s my twin, I’ll always love and be there for him but we don’t really associate with each other anymore. So when I woke up this morning I decided to ‘suck it up’ as my dad would say. I threw on a hoodie and some baggy jeans. Then Regina called me. “Hey short stuf- oh Jesus please tell me you aren’t wearing that?!” She nearly screams down the phone, I cringe looking down at my outfit earning a sigh from her. “I’ll be over in five, do your makeup and I’ll pick some clothes for you when i get there okay?” She asks in a sweet tone. I smile and nod before hanging up and grabbing a joint I rolled last night ready for today. I stare down at it for a few minutes contemplating what im going to do if Janis approaches me today. I haven’t spoke to her since the phone call. I didn’t confront her, I just ran. Shaking my head I light up and take a few drags of the blunt with laying on my bed, all tasks out of sight and mind.

By the time I finished the joint, Regina is in my room and looking through my closet, she looks over at me her smile fading while she grabs an outfit that fits ‘plastic’ standards, but is still in my style. Then she comes and sits next to me on the bed. “So what’s the plan?” She speaks before I can, I shrug “go into school and show her who she messed with” I say in a mocking tone earning a smack over the back of my head from the blonde, she laughs and drags me off of my bed, keeping a tight hold on my wrist to keep me steady. She drags us into my closet and sits me down, pulling my hoodie off and replacing it with an old band shirt I made into a cropped vest, she smirks and grabs my backpack, throwing it at me. She grabs my hand and we are out of the door, in her jeep and on the way to school.

I stand at my locker waiting for Regina to find Gretchen and Karen and come back to get me so she can introduce me to them. Looking up from my phone I see Janis, I roll my eyes and walk the other way, not wanting to start a fight twenty minutes before homeroom. I pull out my phone and call Regina to ask where she is.

Minutes later im stood with the plastics. Gretchen looks me up and down trying to figure me out, while Karen just stands there smiling at me. “I love your shirt, where can I get one?” Gretchen starts off, I smile with a little bit of a blush forming “oh uhm I made it actually” I say looking at the shirt I made a few weeks ago just after meeting Janis. The girls eyes light up as she leans closer “omg so your like an artist and a musician, that’s so fetch” she bounces with excitement. A laugh erupts from beside me “what’s fetch?” Regina asks cringing a little. “Oh it’s like slang from some movie I saw” the girl explains the plot of the movie, I smile at her and her little quirks “well that movie sounds fetch, we will have to watch it one time, right Regina?” I nudge the blonde, knowing how mean she can be towards Gretchen at times. Karen looks over my shoulder and gasps a little. We all turn around to see the commotion. Tessa and Damien are shouting at Janis. I guess Tessa told Damien. Well at least they’ve got to her before I could. Not that I’d even know what to say. “Hey cmon we should get to PE so we can get changed out of sight from the creeps” Regina tugs my arm. I know she’s never early for anything, which lets me know that she is only suggesting that so I wouldn’t have to see Janis. She grabs onto my hand as we all walk to the changing rooms. I drop my bag to the floor and pull off my vest, replacing it with the track hoodie I originally had put on. I change into some shorts and put on my not so white converse. Once we are all changed, we sit on the benches outside of the changing rooms, waiting for the bell to ring and for everyone to come to class, I put my hair in a messy bun before looking up to see two faces laced with shock “you have a tattoo?” Karen says with a smile, earning a confused look from me “you guys don’t?” I answer the question with another question, they all shake their heads making me laugh, I shrug the interaction off and pull on the strings of my hoodie.

The bell eventually chimes and people start flooding into the changing rooms, Janis and Damien included, the both of them are glared at by the three girls while I stare at the floor. The coach shows up, smiling at me, waving his arms around like a goof “y/n congratulations on last weeks race kid” he enthusiastically says before patting my back. “Thanks, hope the next one is just as easy” I laugh a little. To say track is stressful would be an understatement. Some people join to have something to put on their college forms, some join because they love sports, me, I joined because my dad wanted me to be apart of every hobby, he wants me to have as many skills as possible. I know he means good but the pressure to be the best at everything is crushing. I get snapped out of my thoughts when Regina’s hand holds onto mine, I look around and see people leaving to head to the field, I look at Regina and she mouths “you okay?” towards me, I simply nod, I wasn’t about to scare off the person who offered me a safe space this fast.

Approaching the field I see the teacher is holding a bag full of equipment, I look over at Tessa knowing what’s in the bag. Fucking rugby balls. I’ve never liked rugby but Tessa on the other hand. She loves it. It’s her whole life. She has been scouted by professional teams since we were kids. Me on the other hand, not the type of person to tackle people, I would happily just stick to track.

I look up to see Tessa running over to me, a massive grin on her face. “Y/n cmon we are doing rugby” she waves a ball in my face like an excited child. I look over to where she is pointing and see Damien and Janis, I frown and shake my head a little “wait T you aren’t in this class, why are you here?” I laugh a little knowing she is meant to be in English language class right now. Once again she waves the ball in my face “coach pulled me out asking if I would help with some tackling drills.” She nudges me before going to grab me to go see Janis. “Actually im going to stay here and help the plastics” I mumble knowing she won’t like me hanging around with Regina. “What why? Your not like in love with my cousin right?” She crosses her arms and stares at me “you and Janis need to talk. Sooner than later I suggest” she lectures me just as the coach blows the whistle.

Me and Tessa both get forced to grab a tackle practice pad and hold them up ready for the coach to tell people to try tackling us both. A lot of them don’t try to tackle too hard, a few manage to push me back a little but one manages to knock me. Regina. She stands staring at me like a predator scoping out its prey, she then gets a running start, getting lower to the ground with every stride closer she gets and eventually she has her arms around my torso and she manages to buckle my legs and she’s on top of me, smirking down at me with a satisfied grin. “Falling for me already huh?” She leans closer to my face with a cheeky grin, we stay like this for a few seconds before she gets off of me and we both stand up. I take my place back at the line, bag in hand ready to go.

I tilt my head to the side and see Tessa and Janis laughing, Tessa looks over at me with a sympathetic expression, it seems like she knows more about this situation than she’s letting on.

Once the lesson is practically done and everyone is walking off of the field I jog a little to catch up with Tessa and nudge her. “Hey can I grab you for a sec after we are changed I need to tell you something?” She says with a sad smile, she glances at Janis and Damien who are a few feet in front of us, then she looks at Regina and the plastics who are a few feet behind us. “Omg yes, I feel like I haven’t seen you since last week, sorry for going off the rails though” I frown feeling as if im to blame for this situation “that’s actually what I need to te- …oh hey Regina” she starts before Regina comes and joins us causing her to quickly change the topic of conversation. “Hey Tes, you should totally come sit with us, y/n has finally agreed to sit with me and the girls” Regina almost brags, a massive grin plaster across her pretty face.

#reader insert #x y/n #mean girls #janis mean girls #mean girls 2024 #janis ‘imi’ike #janis imike x reader #janis ‘imi’ike x reader #janis imike #anyone but her #tess and y/n

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jksprincess10 · 1 year

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My boyfriend's dad || Boyfriend’s dad ! Joel x reader

Summary: When you meet your boyfriend at his family house, you find out he’s at a party and cheating on you. Your boyfriend’s dad offers to take care of you and show you what a real man is like. (2kwords of pure filth)

Based on this request!

CW: Talks of cheating, polyamory undertone, Joel is married to bisexual Tess, oral sex (f and m receiving), petnames, praising, protected sex, talks of voyeurism, unspecified age gap (reader is an adult), Joel has a dirty fucking mouth, innocent reader.

Please reblog if you enjoyed and check out my masterlist !

You had been dating Chris for a few months now. He wasn’t… the best boyfriend, per se, but he always pulled you back to him when you wanted to walk away. In retrospect, you didn’t know what kept you with him.

Maybe… it was to keep seeing his dad. It was fucked up. Mr. Miller was an handsome man in his late 40s, maybe early 50s, married with an equally hot woman, Tess. But you couldn’t lie to yourself anymore when you imagined his dad instead of Chris pounding into you.

It was a Friday night, and you were supposed to meet Chris at his place to spend time with him. But when you knocked on the door, his dad answered instead of him. Chris’s car wasn’t in the driveway, but still, you had hoped to see him.

“Oh, hi, Mr. Miller! Is… Chris here?”

You felt his burning gaze trailing down your figure dressed with tight clothes.

“M’sorry sweetheart, Chris said he was going out with friends.”

You frowned and tried to hide your disappointment. “Oh… we were supposed to see each other.”

Joel seemed sorry; he knew his son wasn’t the best boyfriend.

“Look, you came all the way here. ” He looked at you, uncomfortable. “D’you wanna come in and maybe try to call him?”

“T-Thanks.” He moved from the door and let you come in. The house was silent. It seemed like his wife and his oldest daughter weren’t home.

“Is miss Miller still working night shifts?” You asked, standing in the entryway awkwardly as he closed the door behind you.

“Yeah… hospital’s kickin’ her butt. ”

“She… she’s doing a necessary job. You must be proud of your wife.”

Your boyfriend’s dad didn’t respond, instead, he gestured towards the living room, so you’d come in. You kicked off your shoes and sat on the leather couch. Mr. Miller brought you the house phone.

“He gave me his friend’s number in case of emergency, let me get it for you.”

He typed in the number, and you watched as he waited for the phone to ring with a concentrated look on his face, eyebrows frowned.

“Hey Johnny, yeah, is my son there?... Why is the music so fuckin’ loud…?.. Yeah, please. Put him on the line.”

He passed you the phone and gave you some space, going to the kitchen. On the phone, you heard the shuffling of blankets and a female voice as you picked it up.

“Hey, thought we were meeting tonight?” The nails on your free hand were digging in your palm, as you tried to contain your anger, understanding what was going on.

“Yeah sorry, Johnny was feeling low.” He could barely get any words out.

“Is this why you sound drunk as fuck?! And who am I hearing behind you?”

“Well…”

“You know what, Christopher Miller?! I’m done with you. Have fun.”

You aggressively hung up the phone. You were so used to Chris’s bullshit, that you didn’t even cry. You were just angry. You put up your legs against your chest as you tried to calm yourself.

Mr Miller came back with a glass of fresh water. You thanked him.

“M’sorry sweetheart… I’m afraid my son’s a real asshole.”

You looked up at him and shrugged.

“I guess… I should know by now.” You got up to leave. “I’m sorry for the bother, Mr. Miller. I’ll go home now.”

“No, no… Please.” His hand held your arm to stop you. You turned around to look at the older man, puzzled, but you couldn’t help the shivers that ran through your body. “You shouldn’t drive right now. You’re angry. Wait it off, or I’ll give you a ride home.”

You didn’t want to be impolite and decline his offer, so you went back to the couch, cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. You finally took a sip of the glass of water Mr Miller had given you earlier. Your boyfriend’s dad sat beside you; big hands laid on his lap.

“Y’know… It’s not a huge loss.” You looked up at him as he said that to you, confused that he was talking like that about his own son. “I’ve heard you fuck, and I can tell when a woman is faking.”

He was right, but still, you choked on your water and put the glass on the table in front of you. Mr Miller’s warm eyes locked with yours. Were you seeing… the familiar glow of lust in his blown-out irises?

“He never took care of you the right way, hm? Only thought about his own pleasure? Poor babydoll…” His calloused hand met the soft skin of your blushed cheek. “I’ll show you what a real man’s like.”

Before you could even respond, Joel’s mouth was on yours. Your hands laid flat on his chest as you pushed him away slightly to ask:

“But… your wife?” In your head, right now, the father was just as bad as his son.

“Oh, don’t worry. Tess begged me to take care of you. S’a shame that she’s not here right now. We have an agreement.”

You felt arousal pool between your legs as you imagined Joel and his wife thinking about you in that way.

“I… okay.” You were barely reassured, but you couldn’t keep your mouth to yourself when you had wanted this since you started dating his son. You straddled Joel’s thighs, and looked down at him lustfully, before finding his plush lips again. Even if you were on top of him, the older male had total control over you. He invited you to open your mouth with the slid of his tongue. You tasted all of him ; you couldn’t help moaning inside his mouth.

“Knew you wanted this too, hm? Were you thinking about me while my son was fucking you?” He said against the skin of your neck, where he left open-mouthed kisses.

“Y-Yes… Yes I wanted this, Mr. Miller. Still do. Please.”

You felt his arousal through the thin fabric you were wearing. He seemed… really big. As he got up, Joel tucked his hands under your ass, and you wrapped your legs around him while he brought you up the stairs. You thought he would bring you to his own room, but instead, he brought you to Chris’. He laid you down on the familiar bed. It was an asshole move, yes, but god did it turn you on. Joel’s hands slid down the clothes covering your core, and you shivered when you felt the coldness on your wet folds.

“I’ll use my mouth on you, how d’ya feel about this, babydoll?” He asked as he kneeled in front of the bed. His hands pulled on your thighs to bring you closer, his face centimeters away from your heat.

“Please.” You didn’t say it, but Chris never did it.

“Hmm, so polite.” As he went even closer, the vibration of his raspy voice against your skin made you shiver. The older man tentatively licked at your folds, collecting the wetness that was forming there.

You squirmed, sensitive.

“Oh babydoll, you’ve never done that, haven’t you?” He looked up at you with pity in his pretty eyes. Your boyfriend’s dad looked so fucking beautiful like this, dark eyes following your movements. From this angle he was just a pretty head of curly hair between your legs.

You shook your head “no”.

His hands held down your thighs as he licked at your core more confidently this time. He took it slow, letting you get used to this new sensation. Your head was spinning, it was better than anything you had experienced before. He traced lazy circles, getting closer and closer to your clit. When he hit it with the tip of his tongue, you moaned and grabbed at his hair to hold him there.

“There it is... my sweet girl…” He pressed confidently against your little bud of nerves, before putting his lips around it to suck it. Your fingers pulled on his hair as you cried out his name. He sucked roughly as he sneaked a finger into your wet heat. One finger was already filling you up, you didn’t know you could take more, but the pressure he put on your clit kept you away from the pain.

He stretched you up slowly, and when he felt like you were ready, he added another one. It was… a lot, and you felt your stomach twisting with pleasure. His fingers moved expertly until they found that perfect spot, which they hit again and again as he kept pleasing you with his tongue. You threw your head back, white stars filling your vision while you came hard. Joel helped you through your orgasm and slowed down, until he stopped.

“Was that good, babydoll?” He asked as he got up and wiped his mouth.

You nodded enthusiastically, which made him laugh. You backed away a little to give him space, and he took place between your open legs. You sat up and pulled on his tight shirt. He helped you take it off. He was still in shape despite his age. Just like you had imagined.

“Mr Miller… can I… please you?”

“Fuck. You’re too good, babydoll. I wanna focus on ya.”

“No, I really want to. Please. ” You begged with pretty eyes.

“Fine. Let me see those nice tits first, hm?”

He kissed you roughly, and pulled on your shirt, until you broke the kiss to help him take it off. Of course, you weren’t wearing any bra. His hand grabbed your breast, and you cried when he leaned in to suck on your hard nipple. Your shaky fingers found his belt, and he helped you get himself out of his pants. He took off his last layers and laid beside you. You looked at his dick with wide eyes. His hand caressed your cheek to reassure you.

“You don’t have to take all of it in, babydoll.” With the pressure of his hand, he coaxed you to get closer to his hard and leaking member. You leaned down, giving him a perfect view of you tits, and your ass up in the air.

Your hand took care of the base as you opened your lips and slowly slid his cock between your lips. You let it lay heavily on your flat tongue, before closing your mouth around it. His fingers found your messy hair to encourage you.

“Doin’ so good fo’ me.”

With the help of his encouragement, you bobbed your head up and down as you sucked in your cheeks. Joel cursed and laid back on the bed. He had an arm over his face, probably concentrating on not painting your mouth already with cum. You sucked his dick enthusiastically, your hand taking care of the base. After a few more strokes, he said:

“You’re gonna make me cum all over your face, babydoll.”

You moaned in response, your voice vibrating around his thick dick. He pulled on your hair to move you away. You looked beautiful like this, red lips glistening with a mixture of precum and saliva, your makeup running down your cheeks.

“Stop. Let me fuck you, now.”

You laid down, waiting for him as he got condoms and lube, which he used to coat your entrance and his latex-covered girth. You spread your legs for him.

“I’ll be gentle with you, but you tell me what ya need.”

“T-Thank you.”

He kissed you softly, as he pushed his length between your folds. You wrapped your arms and legs around him, keeping him close and pushing his dick further into you. He stopped when he was fully into you, looking down at your face to make sure you were okay.

“You’re so fuckin’ tight, wish I could fuck you bare. But you’ll get tested and I’ll fuck you bare after that. Would love to fill your pretty hole and make you mine.”

The fact that he wanted to fuck you again after this made your stomach flutter with excitation.

“O-Okay. ” Your lips found the curve of his throat, where a vein was appearing. “You can move.”

He started slowly and not going to deep. But you pushed on the small of his back with your feet to encourage him.

“Can take more, Mr Miller. Please.”

He went deeper a few thrusts later, and you moaned. “Fuck, yes, that’s it…” You were so loud; thank God you were alone. Even though part of you wished Chris was here to hear what a real orgasm sounded like.

The movements of his hips got rougher and rougher, as he fucked deep into you. You felt a new sensation when he hit deep into you and when his fingers found your clit to circle it around it, bringing you closer to another orgasm. You screamed when you came and your walls closed around him, trapping him deep. Joel joined you soon after, fucking roughly into your walls until he found his release.

He kissed your sweaty forehead and got himself out, getting up to put the condom in the trash. He then laid beside you and pulled you close with his strong arm. You were breathing heavily, still on your high.

“Glad to hear you have a real orgasm, babydoll.”

You smiled lazily and kissed his jaw.

Lights filled the corridor, and the door of the bedroom was wide open. Tess appeared in the doorframe, and you pulled the blanket over you as a reflex, but she simply smirked as she looked at you two, laid beautifully on her son’s bed.

“You could’ve waited for me… ” She approached the bed and held your chin up with two fingers. Tess was a beautiful woman, even after hours of work as a nurse. “I’m so glad you got fucked real good, sweetheart.” She kissed your forehead, which made you blush. “Let me shower and I wanna see you two go at it again.”

You were hypnotized by the woman. You have never done anything with a woman before, but you’d do anything for her.

“Of course, miss Miller.” You said with a smile.

“Good girl.” Whispered Joel, sending shivers down your spine.

#bfd!joel #writing requests #dad!joel #joel miller x tess servopoulos #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #joel miller x you #joel miller x yn #joel miller x y/n #hbo joel miller #joel miller x tess servopoulos x reader #bfd!joelmiller #bfd ! joel miller

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the-abyss-of-fandoms · 1 year

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My emotions while watching TLOU tv show:

#the last of us #the last of us tv show #the last of us tv series #hbo max #the last of us part one #joel the last of us #joel miller #joel and ellie #joel and tess #joel x reader #joel x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #sarah williams #pedro pascal simp #pedro pascal

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studioghibelli · 3 months

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three’s a party- a joel x tess x reader story

summary: joel knows you, his pretty little girlfriend, has always harbored sexual feelings for tess. he can’t help but oblige you on your birthday.

warnings: joel watches you and tess fuck, he basically gets cucked by tess, porn with no plot, bisexual reader, smut (f on f action, f & m receiving oral, tribbing, unprotected sex, very brief sir kink, light mentions of choking, spiting, daddy kink, dirty talk, use of the word whore and slut, dom!tess, sub!reader, kind of sub!joel (?), threesome)

notes: this is pure filth. i love it. mdni, or else!!! (not spell checked or edited….. sorry besties)

The room was damp, and smelled mildly of mildew.

Outside, the rush of dusk had plastered the night sky in shades of navy and onyx, no light inside the little square room except the dangling bulb which swung from the ceiling, a flickering twinge of gold illuminating the four corners with every sway of the string.

The mattress was old and stale, the coils squeaking with every movement, and to the side, a tattered arm chair the color of the earth rested without movement. Sitting on the dirty cover was Joel Miller, the man who had been responsible for orchestrating this night. And now there he was, watching his girl moan and writhe with pleasure, her legs pushed back by the hands of his work partner, Tess.

You didn’t have to ask Joel or say anything outright for him to notice that desire which lingered in your eyes each time you saw Tess. The way you would suck your bottom lip between in your teeth when her chest brushed against yours, the way you would let out a quiet sigh every time her fingers pushed a strand of hair from your face.

Joel Miller wasn’t an idiot.

It was the end of the world, and he didn’t mind sharing you. Well, not with Tess, anyways. He trusted her and loved her like family, but if anyone else tried to get funny with you, he’d have their head served up on a silver platter just for you, à la John the Baptist style.

When your birthday rolled around the corner, he knew just what he had to do for his pretty babydoll: indulge you- In the one way he knew you’d like best.

It took some convincing with Tess.

“I don’t want you trying to kill me for touching your girl.” She had joked, arms crossed as she stared at him plainly. “Are you sure she wants this?”

“‘Course she does. You ain’t dumb. She ‘bout loses her mind every time you get close to her.” They shared a laugh, and Tess soon agreed.

But with you, well, it took no convincing at all. You about jumped out of your skin with excitement when he brought the idea up, happily complying to the plan he had in mind. You trusted him deeply, more than anyone else on the earth, and knew he would always take good care of you.

And now you were here, in this situation. On the two decades’ old mattress with Tess’ tongue swirling circles around your clit, lapping at your soaked cunt as though you were the last thing she would ever taste. From the corner of your eye you saw Joel, sitting and watching you with his lips pressed into a thin line, arms crossed and face void of any emotion. If he didn’t have a massive boner tenting the fabric of his jeans, you would have wondered if he was growing angry.

No. No anger there. Not an ounce of it.

Your hands clenched the fabric of the cotton sheets tightly within your fists, nails tearing at the seams as the woman you had craved for so long lapped up every drop of your wetness. You were in Heaven, her skilled tongue exploring every inch of you that cried out. She hadn’t missed a spot on your clit, flicking it and slurping incessantly, until you were putty in her hands, for her to play with freely.

Tess pulled away, middle finger sinking deep into your tight hole. She looked up, an arrogant smirk crossing her lips, and relished in the quiet mewl you let out for her.

“You’re loving this, aren’t you pretty girl?”

You whimpered in response, hips bucking up as she flicked her finger just right, tapping up against your g-spot. Your thighs quivered.

“Tess!” You cried out. “Please.”

“No, no, no.” She climbed on top of you, naked cunt straddling your thigh, ring and middle finger now sunk deep into your entrance. Tess leaned forward, lips brushing against your ear, tongue licking a stripe against that sensitive patch of skin that always made you shiver. “You call me daddy.”

With wide eyes your neck snapped towards Joel, who was still watching you wordlessly, eyes dark, hands resting on the arms of the chair. He didn’t speak, didn’t flinch, didn’t make any sort of move. He only watched, like a statue stuck in place, eyes on you, and you only.

Tess began to grind herself against your thigh, a soft groan leaving her, before she grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up. “Not him. Me. Eyes on me.” The blunt edge of her nails sunk into your skin, and you felt her knee gently brush against your clit.

“Need you.” You begged breathlessly. “Need you.”

“Need me how? Tell daddy. What do you need from me, baby?” She cooed softly to you, her words dripping with a faux sense of worry. Behind her closed lips, you heard a faint snicker. Tess was getting off on this. She was getting off on seeing you beg, on seeing you come- quite literally- undone.

“Rub your pussy on mine, please….” A few beats passed before you spoke again. “Daddy.”

Tess grinned down at you, pushing your legs back before lowering herself, her pretty pink cunt pressed flush against yours.

Joel grunted. It was the first time he had made any noise. You glanced over at him, gently extending your hand. “Joel?” You called out softly, beckoning him forward. He wasted no time making his way to you, crouching down by the bed as he grasped your hand, plush lips pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles.

“I’m here, darlin’. Right here.”

“Stay right here. Stay.” You whispered.

You looked down at Tess’ pussy on yours. She kept her pubic hair short, yet it was still there, and it looked damn good on her. Her clit was bigger than yours, sticking out from her folds in a way that made your mouth water. Pink and pretty, dripping just from pleasing you. Your hips bucked up at the feeling, completely involuntarily.

Tess looked down at your connected cunts, and slowly dragged her clit up and down between your folds, her hands pressed flat against your thighs as she watched, lip stuck between her teeth.

“God, you’re fucking soaked. She get this wet for you, Texas?” Arrogance dripped from her words.

“Wetter.” He grunted, arrogance matching hers, with his eyes burning right into your face. You turned your head to look at Joel, and he gently pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “How’s it feel, baby?”

“So good. So fucking good.” You whined. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead, rough hand cupping your cheek.

“Such a good girl, you know that? Takin’ it like a fuckin’ champ. Yeah, that’s my good girl. Such a good slut for your daddies, ain’t ya?” His voice was low and deep in your ear, for you only.

You looked at Tess, feeling her own clit circling yours. You gasped out softly, her throbbing button slowly poking through your folds, barely penetrating you, but doing so just enough that you felt that familiar tingle of arousal shoot up your body. Tess lowered her hand, flicking your nipple, before her calloused fingers dragged down the softness of your belly, finding your clit and pinching it lightly.

“You really are a good girl, aren’t you?” She purred, thumb rolling circles into your bud. “You’re wet as a fucking waterfall. Such a cute pussy, too. You know that? So fucking tight and pink, I might just steal you from Joel, make you mine.”

A low growl of annoyance came from beside you. “Watch it Tess.” He warned.

She giggled a girlish giggle, her pussy dragging up and down against yours. “Just kidding. No need to get your cock in a knot, Miller.”

You whined as she grinded against you, her wetness seeping in to your own. “I think I’m gonna cum on this little pussy of yours.”

Joel tightened his grip on your hand, leaning forward and kissing your temple, right where your sweat was gathering. You were whining and squirming, your orgasm right there, yet still so far away. You looked at your boyfriend, and he kissed you deeply, hand slowly moving to your throat where he held you in place, his tongue slipping between your lips. You moaned at the taste of his spit, hips bucking in to Tess’, her throbbing clit pressing against your own.

“God fucking damn.” You heard her groan, feeling her arousal dripping down your own thighs. You reached towards her, free hand finding her chest, pinching and twisting her nipple. You guided her chest closer to yours, pulling away from Joel’s mouth to meet hers. Tess kissed you hungrily, with a passion you were sure only a woman could ever carry.

Her nipples pressed into yours, brushing against one another as she fucked you with her cunt, up and down, the wanton noises of your wet slick filling the air. Your pussy was desperate to clench around something, clit tingling at the feeling of her friction. She shoved her tongue down your throat, sweaty body melding to yours, as she grunted and groaned into your throat.

You felt Tess shake with her own orgasm, grunting out your name as she pulled away from your mouth and grabbed the headboard, slowly rolling her hips into your own, staring at your connected pussies, watching the strings of cum tie her folds to your own. Milly white and dripping, she watched her folds fall open as she dragged them down your throbbing clit, moaning out at the sight.

She looked at Joel. “You want to make her cum, or me?”

“Why not both?” The smirk was evident in his voice. You moaned out in annoyance when she got off of you, annoyed at the lack of contact on your clit.

“Don’t worry, angel.” Joel murmured, nibbling at your ear lobe. “She’s gonna make you cum real nice. Then your real daddy is gonna fuck you nice and dumb.”

“Oh.” You moaned out softly at his words, tangling your hand in his curls. “Yes sir.” You murmured softly, and Joel let out a throaty chuckle, his lips attaching to your neck.

As your eyes fluttered close at the feeling of Joel sucking on your skin, your felt your legs being pushed up, and you were soon met with the feeling of Tess’ lips wrapping around your sensitive bud. She dipped her fingers into your soaked pussy, tasting her own cum and your arousal heavy on her tongue.

“You’re a fucking bastard for keeping this pussy away from me for so long, Miller. She’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever tried.” She continued licking at your clit, eyes slowly dragging to meet yours, now half open and heavy with arousal. “Ain’tcha, baby? So fucking sweet. Here, have a taste.” She dragged her fingers from your folds, reaching up towards your lips until you were sucking on them.

You moaned, her cum sweet and salty in your mouth. You continued sucking on them, slowly looking at Joel with a flicker of playfulness sparkling in your eyes. You treated her two digits like a cock, bobbing slowly, eyes never leaving your boyfriends. You finally pulled away with a pop, and Joel groaned out.

“Enough.” He growled, standing up and shoving his jeans down. His cock sprung out, and he pressed his tip against your lips. “Suck. Now.” He demanded.

You whined out as Tess removed her lips from your clit, instead opting to tease your folds, her tongue shoving deep inside of you. You leaned forward towards Joel’s dick, wrapping your lips around it as he grabbed your hand, his fingers interlocking with yours. His free hand reached down, gently rubbing the side of your head.

“That’s it. Suck this cock off, babydoll. Such a good fuckin’ girl for me.” His hips stuttered against you as you took him inch by inch, his tip reaching the back of your throat. You gagged softly, pulling ever so softly away, before beginning to bob up and down, your tongue swirling against the veined underside of his length.

Between your legs, Tess was slurping up your wetness, and when her lips attached to your clit again, you knew your orgasm was soon approaching. How you had lasted for so long was beyond you, you had no clue. You shivered against her pretty face, hips bucking as she returned to fingering you. That, mixed with the feeling of her lips on your clit, did your head in.

You cried out against Joel’s cock, which twitched in your mouth at the sound of your pleasure, your climax hitting you like a double decker bus. It felt so good, in fact, tears were pricking at the corners of your eyes.

You tried to focus on his cock, but you only got sloppier, tongue wild against his dick as you bucked your hips and clenched around her fingers, panting like a bitch in heat at the feeling of your orgasm.

“Get away from her, Joel.”

He grunted in annoyance, nonetheless obeying. Tess laid down on the bed, wiping her shining mouth off with the back of her hand, and patted her lap. “Sit.” She ordered you. Crawling over, you sat on her lap, your back pressed against her chest. “Joel, fuck her.”

A smirk spread across his face, and he positioned himself between your legs, pushing into you in one swift motion, right to the hilt. You moaned out. Tess’ hand crept to your neck, and as she grabbed it, she tilted your head back.

“Open your mouth, baby. Want you to taste yourself.” You leaned your head back against her shoulder, opening your mouth. Tess spit on to your tongue, the taste of your mixed cum and her spit sliding down your throat. You moaned at the flavor.

Joel filled you and stretched you good. He always had. It was like his cock was built specifically for your pussy.

“So fuckin’ good, angel.” He mumbled, his hands dragging up and down your sides. Joel’s thrusts were sloppy, and you knew he wasn’t going to last very long.

“We promised her two orgasms, Texas.” Tess purred. “So you better not cum fast.”

He panted out in annoyance, cheeks reddening as his arousal climbed and clawed up his body, his throat growing raw with desire. Joel’s palms dug into your hips, where he held you down in place against the mattress.

You could feel Tess’ wet cunt against your ass, and slowly her hands began to massage into your skin, until she reached your pussy once more.

“That pretty little clit is just begging for attention, isn’t it?” She whispered in your ear, biting down on your skin. “Should I oblige her?”

“Yes.” You begged.

Her hand came smacking down against your pussy, the sudden feeling causing you to jolt. “Yes what?” She asked lowly.

“Yes daddy.”

Joel groaned at the sound, the tip of his cock pressing against that spot each time he thrust. You weren’t sure how long you would last if he continued his thrusts, especially with Tess’ fingers exploring your pussy.

“That’s a good, good girl.” She began rubbing slow, deep circles against your clit, her hand still tight around your throat. “You really are such a sweet thing.”

You breathed out a jumble of syllables in response, feeling Joel’s fingers gently work at your nipples.

“My sweet thing.” He whispered, and your eyes fluttered open to look at him. Your eyes met, and a shared smile spread across your faces. Joel reached down, gently pressing his palm to your cheek. A shared moment of intimacy in an otherwise heinous, ungodly, sexually depraved scene. Your hand gently wrapped itself around the back of his, pressing him closer to your skin.

“So sweet.” Tess mumbled dryly, sarcastically, and you felt her mouth connect against your neck. You moaned out, and she grinned. “Just a dumb little fuck toy at the end of the day, aren’t you?”

You nodded, legs parting even further as your second orgasm loomed. Joel’s cock twitched inside you, and he leaned forward until he was pressed against you, his face resting in the crook of your neck.

“I-I’m gonna cum again.” You whined, Tess’ skillful fingers still working your clit.

“What about you, Texas?” Tess asked, her lips still working the skin of your neck.

“Please.” He growled through gritted teeth.

“Fine.” She finally gave permission, albeit rather dismissively.

Joel buried himself as deep as he could inside of you, spilling his seed with a loud growl, teeth clenching down on to your shoulder as you shared your orgasm. Waves of pleasure rolled over you, and you wrapped your arms around Joel, holding on to him as tightly as you could. Your belly clenched, clit growing sensitive as Tess carried you through your high, her fingers still rubbing up and down your sensitive nub.

Joel slowly pulled away, but Tess kept rubbing.

“Please.” You whimpered, more tears pooling in your eyes. “Too sensitive.” You tried to push her hand away, but Joel grabbed ahold of your wrist, planting a kiss to your forehead.

“Let her, babydoll. Let her use that pussy.” He whispered. As your over-sensitive clit was toyed with, Joel leaned forward, forehead resting on yours.

You whined breathlessly at that raw, burning feeling which cascaded through you, mixed with the coveted feeling of pleasure as Tess rubbed. Joel’s nose brushed into yours, his eyes boring in to your own.

“That’s my babydoll. Taking it so good. You’re such a good girl for me.” He whispered, gently pressing a series of mini-kisses into your mouth. “For us.” He corrected himself, which Tess moaned in agreement too.

“Thank you.” You moaned out earnestly, kissing him once more. You felt your belly tightening once more.

“Third one’s always the easiest.” Tess snickered, rubbing your clit between her index and thumb. “‘Specially when you’re just a pretty little fuck thing.”

Joel stared into your eyes, a grin gleaming over his lips, as your third and final orgasm washed over you. As you came, his name chanted from your mouth, and you collapsed into Tess’ chest, bodies sweaty and hot.

Joel pulled you in to his arms, cradling you to his chest as Tess threw on her shirt. She grinned at the both of you.

“Pretty cute together, y’know.” She admitted, running a hand through her hair. “Was this a good birthday?”

You let out a soft laugh, slowly coming to your senses as you nodded. “The best one I’ve ever had.”

Tess mirrored your own laugh, and you watched her fingers as she buckled her belt. “Let’s do it again sometime?”

As Joel kissed your neck, you smiled at her. “We can pretend my birthday is next week?”

The three of you shared a knowing look, and each of you knew what you had gotten yourself in to for the coming days, weeks, months- however long you possibly could. A pit of sexual desire and craving that would probably never be satiated, but none of you really cared.

All you knew is that the three of you had always made a great team, and you know what they say- three’s a party.

“Deal.”

307 notes · View notes

alloftheimagines · 1 year

Text

joel miller | left behind

masterlist | taglist | ko-fi

words: 2.9k

warnings: angst, angst, angst. so much angst. ep two spoilers. tess's death. grief. loss. infected stuff. reader is tess's younger sister. age gap. more angst. so much angst. slightly violent reader.

synopsis: in which joel honours a promise he made to tess that means he must force reader to leave your infected sister behind in boston. resentment and a bit of hurt/comfort ensues as you head to frank and bill's.

sibling!tess x reader, reader x joel, little bit of reader x ellie

tags: @sweetbabygirlsworld

“Holy shit. She’s infected.”

You didn’t think the world could fall apart twice, but you look at Tess as Ellie's words settle in and realise you were wrong. Here you are again, losing everything. This time, you don’t know if you can survive.

“Tess…” you whisper, shaking your head slowly. “No. No. No.”

Beside you, Joel is deadly still. He looks at your sister with such detachment that you want to scream. This is Tess. Fucking Tess.

But you know him. You know he’s good at switching off when things get tough. Not like you. You wear your heart on your damn sleeve, and you can’t fucking do this. You look at her again, heart breaking. You feel every tear, every shard slipping through your ribcage. Tess is motionless — resigned. She wears sadness, but no fear. None anybody but you can see, anyway. You grew up with her. You can see the fading light in her eyes in a way the others won’t.

And you don’t know what to do.

“Let me see it,” Joel orders quietly.

“Joel…” Tess pleads.

“Show me,” he growls.

Bitterly, she tears down the collar of her shirt, revealing the infection blossoming across bruised veins. Your knees threaten to buckle, nausea rising in your throat.

“No.” Tears slip down your cheeks, and you’re already searching the room again for some hint the Fireflies might have left, some sign that it won’t end like this. “No. The girl is a cure. If we can just—”

Tess is saying your name. You’re not listening. If you listen, it will be real. If you listen, you will have to say goodbye to the only family you have left.

“Joel,” she’s saying now. “This kid… this kid is real, okay? You gotta get her, get them both, to Tommy’s. He’ll know where to go, what to do.”

“No. No, I’m not doing that,” he replies.

You’re still rattling around, searching old papers and nooks for something, anything; as though you’ll find a miracle in the shadows.

“If not for the kid then for her.” Tess’s voice rises. You squeeze your eyes shut, your back turned to her. “She needs you, Joel. This is the end of the road for me, but you need to keep going. Promise me."

“I’m not leaving you here!” you shout, throwing the first thing you find against the wall. It smashes to dust. “We’ll find a way out of this, Tess. We always fucking do. Let’s just stop and figure it out!”

“There is no figuring it out.” Tess marches over to you, gripping your face in her hands. You try so hard to fight it, so hard to stay in denial, but you look at her drawn face and know she’s already half-gone. You know the worry furrowing her brows isn’t for herself, but for you. For what will happen to you now. She practically raised you, toughening you up or else cradling you through the bad nights, never any in between. It made you both strong and so unbearably weak. Not like Joel, who has never let anything touch him.

You choke on a sob and close your eyes. “Please, Tess. Please. This can’t be it. I need you.”

“I need you. I need you to be safe. I need you to keep going. Please, sweetheart.” She softens, brushing the tears from your eyes. “Please. For me.”

“No—”

The sound of moans and the shuffling of uneven footsteps interrupt your protest. Joel goes to the window and curses, readying his gun. “Infected. Shit tonne of ‘em. We gotta go.”

You grab Tess’s wrist without thinking. “Come on.”

But she slips out of your grasp, stepping away from all of you. Ellie has tears in her eyes, but she says nothing, looking for the first time not to Tess or Joel, but to you.

“I can buy you some time, but you have to run. You have to go,” Tess whispers.

You shake your head again, ferociously this time. “No. No, I’m not leaving. If you stay, I stay.”

She snaps her head away. “Joel. Get her out of here.”

You fight back a bitter scoff, fists curling at your sides — but then hands lock around your arms, nudging you away. “Come on," Joel grunts. "We have to go. Now.”

The betrayal stings. This is fucking Tess. Of all people, he should want to help her. He shouldn’t be giving up on her.

You snarl, “Fuck you if you think I’m going anywhere!”

He doesn’t let up, face carved from stone. “We can’t stay,” he hisses, ducking his head to meet your eye. “You want us all to die?”

“You go! I’m not—”

“Now, Joel!” Tess is yelling. “Get her the fuck out of here now!”

He swears under his breath again and then his arms are like a vice around your waist, your feet lifting from the floor as he drags you away, kicking and screaming.

“No!” You’re shrieking now, vocal cords ripping apart as you try to reach for your sister. "Tess!"

But she doesn’t reach back. She turns away, and you know with certainty it’s the last time you’ll see her face.

“Tess, please!” Sobs erupt from you, and you fight harder now, but Joel is too strong, too broad, too heavy-handed to let you go. “Please! Please! Let me go! Let me stay with her! She's my fucking sister, Joel!”

The fresh air hits you all at once. One moment you’re there, watching your sister get smaller and smaller as infected scratch and rattle the doors, and then you’re back in the rubble of the drab city, the gold dome of Massachusetts State House dwindling.

And then exploding.

As your feet finally hit the floor and you try to nudge Joel away, the earth cracks with black smoke and you’re thrown to the ground. Joel’s warmth shields you, and you feel Ellie trembling at your side.

Silence blankets you like ash. It takes a moment for your brain to comprehend it. Any of it.

You shove Joel to look back at the State House. The building that is no longer a building, just debris and fire.

The building where your sister was standing not a moment ago.

“No.” You say the word differently now. Softer. Devastation pierces through it, through you. She’s gone. Tess is gone.

“Darlin’...” Joel puts his hand on your shoulder and squeezes, and fury sparks through you.

“You did this!” you scream, hitting his chest again, and again and again. “You took away my choice!” Because the truth is, you would sooner have died in there with Tess than carry on without her. “You took away my fucking sister!” Because he’d gotten her into the jobs, the smuggling. He’d done all of this.

Joel doesn’t react, barely even budging as you slam into him. His jaw is set, trembling, throat bobbing, and finally he catches your hands and locks his fingers around your wrists. “Look at me.”

You can’t. You can’t look at him, or anywhere else. You want to vomit. You want to disappear.

Instead, your chin wobbles and your ribcage opens up and everything pours out of you as you wail.

He catches you as you sink to the ground, pulling you to his chest, and you’re too weak to push him away now.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers into your hair, rocking you gently. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, sweetheart. There was nothing else we could do. Nothing else I could do. But look at me. Please look at me.” He grips your jaw just as Tess had, and you flinch. You hate him. You fist his shirt between your fingers and you want to destroy it, destroy everything around him.

Except you don’t. He’s all you have left, and the realisation makes you numb. Joel fucking Miller is the only goddamn person you have.

You do as he asks. You look at him.

“She bought us time," he says. "We can’t waste it now. Do you understand? We can grieve her later, but right now, we gotta go. We have to get up and keep going. For Tess.”

You hate that he’s right most of all. As you begin to shut down, shock taking over, you look back at the smoking State House and stand. And then you clutch Joel’s collar and bare your teeth.

Ellie stumbles towards you, eyes round with fear, but you’ve lost the will to care about her presence. You’ve lost everything today.

“Don’t you fucking say her name again,” you snap. “You lost that right. I blame you. I blame you for who she became, who we’ve all become.”

Anguish curls across Joel’s features, but you refuse to feel guilty. You let him go roughly and grab your backpack off the floor, the same one you’d clutched during the outbreak just after you’d watched your parents get savaged by your infected neighbours, Tess dragging you to safety. You’d been thirteen years old, and your sister had gotten you through hell and back, that night and every other one that came after.

“It shouldn’t have ended like this,” you whisper into the wind, swallowing your own tears.

It’s the last moment you allow yourself to have, and then you wipe your damp cheeks and glare down at Joel again.

“Get up. Let’s go.”

He does, looking winded as he rises from his knees to his feet. You allow him to lead the way only because he knows the city, knows his way around, far better than you did. Tess rarely let you do jobs out of the QZ, protective until the bitter fucking end.

You wish more than anything you could have protected her.

***

You don’t get the chance to catch your breath again until you get to Bill and Frank’s — which is empty. You never met them yourself, but you know Tess warmed to them, so to find them dead too… it feels like the last piece of good in the world is truly gone. You slump onto their couch still wrapped in numbness as Joel and Ellie gather supplies, reluctant to so much as look at you. Later, you hear them talking about showering, and Ellie thumps up the stairs, leaving the place quiet. You should wash, too. You should eat, drink, prepare for whatever comes next, but you can’t move. Can’t do anything.

After minutes, or perhaps hours, of silence, Joel kneels in front of you with a plate of food. “You need to eat, darlin'. I know it’s hard, but you have to.”

You hate him calling you that. He never used to call you that. He barely addressed you at all, stubborn, grumpy old man he is. But he’s been family for a long time, and the three of you…

You got by together. Until now.

You glance down at the food and your stomach turns.

“Please,” he whispers, voice cracking. It surprises you, that vulnerability bleeding into his words — and it seems to surprise him too, by the look on his face. You’ve never seen him like this. Not once.

You take a bite for that alone. It’s dry in your mouth, and you find it hard to swallow, so you push the rest away. He sighs and puts it down on the coffee table, swapping the plate for his flask. You take a swig, whiskey burning like vinegar in your throat.

“If I talk,” he asks, “will you listen?”

“No,” you answer honestly. “No, I don’t feel much like listenin’, Joel.”

Still, he takes your hand. You glare at your intertwined fingers but make no move to pull away. Perhaps part of you still needs to be coddled, taken care of the way Tess might have.

And maybe you need to know you’re not alone. That he isn’t going to give up on you the way he so easily did with Tess. Which is sick, you know, but you’ve never much been able to help the way you feel about him. The way you have always wanted to peel away his layers and understand him. Tear away his self-hatred, guilt, grief, for whatever horrors he faced before.

“I didn’t want this. Not for Tess and sure as hell not for you.”

“I told you,” you bit. “I told you not to say her name.”

“I made a promise to her a long time ago.” He continued as though you hadn’t spoken, his brown eyes pleading. “I promised that if something happened to her, I would always protect you. That’s what I did today. I was honouring that promise, and honouring your sister. If you need someone to blame, someone to hate, if that makes it easier, go ahead. But don’t think for a second that this was a choice I wanted to make. I cared about her. I care about you. And even if I have to drag you kickin’ and screamin’, I’m getting you to Wyoming, to Tommy. You and I still have a job to do.” Slowly, as though unsure how you’ll react, he tucks your hair behind your ear. “That kid needs us, but we need her a hell of a lot more if the cure is real. And I… I need you. I need you here with me, safe. I ain’t losing another…”

He bows his head, words thickening. “I ain’t going back on my promise to Tess, so you can make it difficult as you like. You can never lay your damn eyes on me again. But I’m getting you through this.”

A tear drips down your cheek, your entire body trembling as the sorrow, the grief, finally takes over.

“Oh, baby,” Joel whispers, voice full of the same loss, the same pain.

A whimper escapes you as you put your head in your hands. You can’t even hate him now, because you can imagine your martyr of a sister asking Joel to do just that. To protect you above all else. Still, you despise it — despise that your choices were taken away, your voice ignored.

“I should have been with her,” you say. “She shouldn’t have died alone.”

“She died knowing you were being taken care of.” He squeezes your knee with rough hands. “She died knowing she saved us. It’s the best anyone could’a done. I wish it could have been different.”

“I don’t know how to do this without her,” you admit, because how can you keep it all in? All the love you had for her, all that grief… where will you put it when it’s spilling out of you without warning?

“That’s something we’ll figure out,” Joel responds. He’s drawing circles into your lower thigh now, the pad of his thumb wearing down your denim jeans slowly. Wearing you down slowly. “You should take a shower then see about finishing your food. That hot water… it’ll help. And I won’t be mad if you use it all before I get my turn.” He offers you a small smile.

But you can’t imagine anything ever helping. You close your eyes, sinking back into the couch. “In a minute. I just need…” You don’t know what you need. If you’re being honest, you need Tess.

As though knowing it, Joel rises, the couch cushions dipping with his weight beside you. He lets out a soft sigh, fidgeting with his fingers. You feel the weight of his gaze on the side of your face.

A moment later, he’s draping a blanket over you, and your lids flutter open again in confusion.

“S’okay,” Joel says. “Get some rest. I’ll wake you when it’s time to go.”

You don’t need to be told twice. But when you try to nod off, you only see Tess burned on the inside of your eyelids. Her face the last time you saw it. The bite. Her pleas for you to go.

You give up quickly, aware Joel is still beside you, unmoving. It isn’t like him to not be moving.

Rubbing your face, you sit up, pushing the blanket off. “Joel…”

“Hmm?”

“Blaming you... it doesn't make it fucking easier. I understand why you did what you did, even if I don’t like it. But if you ever take away my choice again… I won’t go on with you. I can’t. I know you and Tess still see me… saw me,” you correct with a wince, “as a kid, but I’m not. Not anymore. And I sure as hell ain’t your responsibility.”

“I don’t see you as a kid,” he says quietly. “And I don’t see you as my responsibility, either. Honestly?” He purses his lips, tapping on the arm of the couch before he continues, “I see you as the only damn thing worth going out of my way to protect. Make of that what you will. Just… don’t expect me to let you die if that’s your choice. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. I won’t apologise for it, either.”

You’re not sure what to say to that; what it means. Why Joel, of all people, is the one to say it. You always thought he and Tess…

“Why? That promise mean so fucking much?”

“Yeah." He looks at you as though for the first time. "Yeah, it does."

You don’t have the energy to wonder what it means anymore. Instead, you pull yourself up on unsteady feet. Your mind is racing, and that shower is sounding better as reality sets in. Just in time, Ellie returns with damp hair and fresh clothes. She offers a small, reassuring smile, and you ruffle her hair, feeling guilty that a fourteen-year-old was subjected to everything you went through in Boston. Whoever she is, whatever purpose people want her to serve… she’s just a kid, and you couldn’t hold it together for her today. That makes you a shitty chaperone.

“My turn,” you mumble, glancing at Joel a final, wary time before heading upstairs. His expression doesn’t change, but you see something new in it now. Something strange.

Something that looks an awful lot like care.

955 notes · View notes

lokischocolatefountain · 2 months

Text

Joel Miller Masterlist

Series

Men Like Me

Joel x virgin!Reader

Warning Summary: Joel's warnings about what men like him would do girls like you only makes you want him more. Words: 6.2k Denial Summary: After your steamy encounter, Joel ignores you out of guilt, leaving you feeling unworthy. But you make a discovery that makes you turn the tables on him. Words: 10.4k

Mister Miller

Boyfriend's dad!Joel

Secret Summary: Your shameful secret you keep from your boyfriend is not such a secret after all. Your boyfriend’s dad Joel Miller knows what you do…very intimately. Words: 1.3k Picture Summary: Joel knows he shouldn’t, especially with the guilt of his shameful secret sitting heavy in his chest. But there are so many pictures of you and he is just a man. Words: 1k

Neighborly Thing to Do

Joel Miller x Reader x Javier Peña

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife. Simple rule to follow, you’d think. But it’s not so simple when your neighbor catches you coveting his girl, fucks her in front of you and tells you that you can help yourself to her anytime you want.

Yellow Bikini Summary: The new neighbors throw a pool party and Joel is invited. Words: 0.8k

Taken Care of

Predatory!Joel x Naive!Reader

You are as sheltered as can be in a world that has fallen apart. Realizing the errors of his ways, your father has his friend Joel take you outside the QZ to teach you how to survive in the real world. Unfortunately for you, Joel is interested in teaching you more than basic survival skills.

Comfort Summary: You and Joel find comfort in an unconventional way. Words: 1.8k

One-shot

Mercy

Summary: Stranded alone in the woods and left to die, all you can ask of Joel Miller is the mercy of a quick death. He is willing to give it to you, but he needs something for himself first. Words: 2.8k

Hurt and Protect

Summary: In a world where politeness wasn’t part of trade, it helped to have someone like Joel Miller as your protector. But to be his to protect also meant being his to hurt. Words: 2.3k

Our Normal

Summary: You and Joel find a new normal with touch Words: 1.8k

Purpose

Dad!Joel Miller

Summary: “I think if he (Joel) could do anything or be anything, he would be a dad, raising his daughter. Whether it’s Sarah or— he can’t quite get there yet to say it’s Ellie but that's what he was put on this Earth to do. That’s why he’s been wandering around a little like a zombie himself for 20 years. He’s trying to find his purpose because it was taken from him.” -Craig Mazin. A fic exploring Joel's journey as a dad. Words: 12.7k

not to feel the way i felt—

Joel Miller x Tess Servopolous

Summary: “I never ask you for anything, not to feel the way I felt—” Moments in their lives where Joel felt something, if not they way she felt. Words: 3.9k

215 notes · View notes

sinful-mind-joyful-thoughts · 2 days

Text

𝙎𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙧𝙢 | sᴏᴜᴘ

Read part one here - Squirm...

screencaps and gifs : @din-jarring they are amazing, literally brainwashes me every single time she posts, love you pook 🫶🏻

Pairing: dark!Raider!Joel Miller x dark!Raider!Tommy Miller x dark!Raider!Tess Servopoulos x fem!reader

Warnings/tags: MDNI 18+, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, BLOOD, VIRGIN READER, UNprotected sex wrap it before you tap it kids,food, hunger, kidnapping, degradation, praise, mean!Joel, toxic!Joel, mean people, toxic people, fear, waterboarding (with soup), choking, gagging, talks of sex, talks of anal sex, voyeurism, being held down, ripping off clothes, groping, kissing, spanking, crying, begging, masturbation M and F, Death threats, Guns, Gun insertion (mouth and vaginal), stripping, cum, cum description, hand jobs, blowjobs, orgasm,cum play kinda, THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME

Summary: Caught and brought to a new place you meet new faces and feelings.

WC: 4.2K

A/n : Sorry, I was a little late to post pt 2, but enjoy 🫶🏻

He had brought you to a house that barely felt like a home, its cold and unwelcoming atmosphere, a stark contrast to any sense of familiarity. The faces inside offered no solace, just a chilling reminder of your isolation from the man who had violated you. You pushed away thoughts of the horrifying event, trying to focus instead on the bowl of soup before you. Hunger gnawed at your insides, but the thought of not nourishing yourself felt like a silent protest against your dire circumstances.

Seated beside you was the man who had taken you, his presence a constant source of discomfort and fear. It struck you suddenly that you didn't even know his name, adding to the weight of your unease. To your left sat a woman with long brown hair, older than you and marked by scars. You stole glances around the table, avoiding prolonged eye contact with anyone. In the midst of the bustling room, a man's striking resemblance to your captor left you feeling unnerved. You resisted the urge to dwell on the chilling familiarity, instead turning your attention elsewhere.

As you sat there, wrestling with your own inner turmoil, your captor's impatience grew palpable. "What's the matter with you? Why aren't you eating?" he demanded, his voice sharp with irritation.

You flinched at his tone, feeling his eyes bore into you with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. "I-I'm not hungry," you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Not hungry?" he repeated, his voice rising with anger. Without warning, he reached out and grabbed a handful of your hair, yanking your head back roughly.

Pain shot through you, and you couldn't suppress a gasp of pain as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. "Joel, calm down," the woman beside you interjected, her voice firm but gentle. "You don't want to scare the girl too badly."

Joel's grip on your hair loosened slightly, but his anger still simmered beneath the surface. "Fine," he growled, releasing you with a shove that sent you reeling. "But don't think you can defy me and get away with it."

You swallowed hard, trying to steady your trembling hands as you reached for the spoon, your appetite vanishing in the face of Joel's wrath. It was just another reminder of the power he held over you, a reminder that escape seemed increasingly impossible.

Joel's anger seemed to intensify with each passing moment, his frustration boiling over as he glared at you. "Eat!" he barked, his voice echoing through the room.

Trembling, you forced yourself to take a spoonful of the bitter soup, struggling to swallow it down past the lump in your throat. The taste was nauseating, but you dared not refuse, knowing the consequences would be dire.

As the man who resembled your captor, Joel, leaned in closer, a chill ran down your spine. His eyes bore into yours, filled with an intensity that made your blood run cold. "Who are you?" he demanded, his voice sharp and demanding.

Panic surged within you as you struggled to find the right words. You glanced around the table, seeking a lifeline, but found only unfamiliar faces staring back at you. Joel's twin sat across from you, watching the tense exchange with keen interest.

He noticed your fear. "I'm Tommy. What's your name?"

Feeling the weight of Joel's wrath bearing down on you, you stammered out a response, your voice barely above a whisper. "I-I'm..." After Joel yelled at you, you gave him your name, hoping to appease him in some way.

Joel's eyes narrowed as he watched you, a dangerous glint in his gaze. "It's not hard to behave, is it?" he sneered, his voice dripping with disdain. "Now eat your soup and stay quiet."

His words sent a shiver down your spine, and you obediently brought the spoon to your lips, forcing yourself to swallow another mouthful of the bitter concoction. Each swallow felt like a battle against the rising tide of fear and revulsion.

As you struggled to maintain your composure under Tommy's scrutiny, a sudden text message from the woman beside you caught you off guard. "What's your plan for her?" it read, and before you could react, Joel shot you a smirk.

"Well, Tess..." he drawled, leaning back in his chair. "I fucked her in the van, and the damn thing bled so much she was probably a virgin. But you see, she's real tight in the pussy. I wonder how tight she is in the ass.”

The crude words sent a wave of horror coursing through you, and you felt your heart pound in your chest. The laughter that erupted from the rest of the table only added to your sense of dread.

"NO!" you cried out, unable to contain your fear and revulsion any longer.

Ignoring your protest, Joel turned to his men with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Leave. All of you, except Tommy and Tess," he commanded, his voice cold and commanding.

The men exchanged glances before filing out of the room, leaving you alone with Joel, Tommy, and Tess. The tension in the air was palpable, and you had a nagging feeling that something bad was about to happen.

With a cruel grin, Joel grabbed your arm roughly, his grip like a vise as he forced the bowl of soup to your lips. "Drink it," he growled, his breath hot against your face.

You recoiled, the bitter taste of the soup making you gag, but Joel's grip only tightened, his fingers digging into your flesh painfully. "I said drink!" he hissed, his voice dripping with malice.

Tears welled in your eyes as you choked down the revolting liquid, each swallow feeling like a betrayal of your own dignity. Joel's laughter echoed in your ears, mocking your suffering.

He didn't stop, continuously pouring the soup into your mouth, the liquid spilling down your chin and soaking your clothes. You coughed and sputtered, struggling to breathe as he relentlessly forced you to consume it.

When the bowl was finally empty, Joel shoved you roughly onto the table, your ass in the air, the dried remnants of his cum and your blood staining your dress and leg from the van. You struggled against him, but his strength was overpowering, pinning you down with ease.

"Look at her," he sneered, his hand gripping your hair as he forced your head up. "A pathetic little whore, just begging for it."

You whimpered, the humiliation and shame crushing down on you like a weight, suffocating you. You felt dirty, violated, and utterly helpless in the face of Joel's cruelty. All you could do was pray for it to be over soon, to escape this nightmare and find some semblance of peace.

"Tommy, Tess," Joel's voice sliced through the air, authoritative and unyielding. "Hold her down."

Tommy hesitated, his expression conflicted as he glanced between you and Joel. "Joel, come on, man. This ain't right," he protested, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

Tess scoffed at his hesitation. "Oh, please, Tommy. It didn't work on the last girl Joel brought home. What makes you think it'll work on this one?" she interjected, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

Tommy's jaw tensed at Tess's words, a flicker of frustration crossing his features. "Yeah, well, no shit it won't work now," he muttered under his breath, his bitterness palpable.

With a resigned sigh, he reluctantly reached out to hold your arms down, his touch firm and unyielding. Despite his initial resistance, there was a chilling resolve in his eyes, a silent acknowledgment of the brutality of their actions.

You instinctively tried to wriggle free from their tight grip, but their hold was unyielding, suffocating in its grasp. Joel's hand trailed between your thighs, his touch invasive and mocking. "Did I forget to rip these?" he jeered, his words dripping with contempt. "Or did you put them back on so you could save all my cum that was dripping out of your pretty pussy?" With a swift tug, he tore at your panties, the fabric ripping with a sound that echoed through the room.

Your breath caught in your throat as Joel's lips trailed from your calf to your lower back, his touch igniting a firestorm of revulsion and fear within you. His hand slid up your dress, each movement leaving a trail of dread in its wake.

Before you could protest, his palm connected with your exposed flesh, the sharp sting of his slap reverberating through your body. "You need to learn, sweetheart," he growled, his voice dripping with malice. "What I say goes."

As the sting of his slap lingered on your skin, Joel's grip tightened, his dominance palpable in the air. "Count them," he commanded, his voice cold and commanding. "For every spank, I'll give you a rule to remember."

You swallowed hard, the weight of his words sinking in as fear coursed through your veins.

"One," you gasped, your voice barely above a whisper, as the second spank landed with brutal force.

"Rule number one," Joel's voice cut through the air like a knife, his tone chillingly calm. "You belong to me now. Your body, your mind, everything. Remember, sweet pea, I control whether you live or die."

"Two," you whimpered, each strike sending waves of pain through your trembling body. Fear gripped you tightly, knowing that Joel held the power to end your life in an instant. But in that moment of terror, a glimmer of relief washed over you as you realized he spared your life.

"Rule number two," Joel's voice was a sinister whisper, his breath hot against your ear. "You speak when spoken to. Your voice is mine to command."

The relentless rhythm of his slaps echoed in the room, each strike sending shockwaves of agony through your body.

"Three," you gasped, tears stinging your eyes as the onslaught continued.

"Rule number three," Joel's words were a cruel taunt, his laughter mingling with your cries. "Your desires mean nothing. Your only purpose is to obey."

The sound of his hand meeting your skin became a symphony of pain, drowning out any semblance of resistance.

"Four," you choked out, your voice trembling with each syllable.

"Rule number four," Joel's voice dripped with malice, his grip tightening as he relished in your suffering. "You forget who you were. There is only me, and there is only now."

The world around you seemed to blur as his assault persisted, each strike eroding away at your sense of self.

"Five," you managed to gasp out, the agony threatening to consume you entirely.

"Rule number five," Joel's words were a final decree, his dominance unyielding. "You will learn to love the pain. It's the only thing you'll ever know."

The onslaught of blows came faster now, each strike landing with brutal precision, leaving your flesh ablaze with searing agony. You squirmed helplessly against the iron grip of Tommy and Tess, your cries stifled by the relentless assault.

Joel's laughter cut through the air like a knife, mocking your pain as tears streamed down your cheeks, mingling with the sweat and blood that trickled down your back.

"There's a good girl," he taunted, his voice dripping with sadistic pleasure. "Let it out. Let me hear you scream."

With each strike, your resolve crumbled, your spirit shattered by the merciless brutality of his punishment. You cried out in anguish, the pain consuming you whole as Joel's cruel laughter echoed in your ears, a haunting reminder of your helplessness in the face of his relentless dominance.

As the onslaught of blows began to slow, Joel's strikes became more calculated, each one landing with precision on your already battered flesh. The pain was excruciating, every impact sending waves of agony coursing through your body.

"Enough," Joel commanded, his voice cold and commanding. "Let her go."

Tommy and Tess released their grip on you, allowing you to slump forward, your body trembling with pain and exhaustion. Joel pulled you into his lap, his jeans rubbing against your raw, beaten skin, sending fresh waves of discomfort radiating through you.

"Good girl," he murmured, his tone disturbingly gentle compared to moments before. "You're learning. Remember, what I say goes. Always."

Joel's gaze shifted to Tommy as you squirmed uncomfortably in his lap, desperately seeking a spot that wasn't ablaze with pain. "Tommy, fetch my pistol," he commanded, his voice cold and authoritative.

Tess and Tommy exchanged shocked glances. "Joel? Before we've even gotten a turn?" Tess protested, her voice tinged with apprehension. Fear clenched at your heart at the mention of the pistol. You didn't want to die.

"I didn't say to shoot her, goddamn it, y'all are sensitive," Joel snapped, his frustration evident in his tone. He sighed heavily before continuing, "Just get comfortable, and you," he grabbed your face roughly, forcing you to meet his gaze, "it's not supposed to be comfortable. Now stay still."

Tommy hurried off to retrieve the pistol, while Tess positioned themselves in front of Joel's chair, obediently following his orders to watch. You sat still, trying to suppress the sobs threatening to escape as you braced yourself for whatever came next. As Tommy handed the pistol off to Joel and positioned himself next to Tess.

Joel's laughter filled the room as he accepted the pistol from Tommy, his eyes dancing with sadistic amusement. With a menacing smirk, he pressed the cold metal barrel against the neckline of your dress, causing your breath to hitch in terror. The fabric stretched under the pressure before snapping back into place, sending a shiver of fear coursing through you.

Glancing between Tommy and Tess, Joel's expression dared them to act. After a tense moment, Tess stepped forward, her hands confident as she reached for the hem of your dress. With a swift motion, she began to peel the fabric away, revealing the vulnerable skin beneath.

Meanwhile, Joel moved behind you, his fingers deftly unhooking your bra with practiced ease. As the garment fell away, leaving you exposed and vulnerable, Joel's gaze hardened. "No touching," he commanded, his voice laced with a dangerous edge. "She hasn't had my dick in her ass yet, so there's no point in sharing yet. Just watch."

Turning his attention back to you, Joel's eyes bore into yours with an intensity that made your blood run cold. "Give them a show," he ordered, his tone dripping with malice. With a cruel grin, he began to trace the path of the gun along your skin, sending shivers of fear down your spine.

With every inch of exposed skin, Joel's sadistic grin widened. He traced the contours of your body with the cold metal of the pistol, his touch sending shivers down your spine. "Such a pretty little thing," he taunted, his voice dripping with malice. "All naked and vulnerable."

As he continued to torment you with the gun, his words grew more depraved. "Bet you're wondering what I'm gonna do with this," he mused, his tone filled with sickening excitement. "Maybe I'll use it to fuck you in the ass."

Your heart hammered in your chest as you braced yourself for whatever twisted game Joel had in store. The weight of the pistol against your skin felt like a ticking time bomb, each moment dragging out the agony of anticipation.

"Maybe I'll use it here," Joel's voice dripped with malice as he suddenly pressed the cold, hard barrel of the gun into your mouth. The metallic taste was overwhelming as you complied with his command, the weight of the weapon heavy on your tongue. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment, and a rush of adrenaline flooded your veins.

Glancing over at Tess and Tommy, Joel's eyes gleamed with sadistic pleasure at their reactions. Tommy's hands were shamelessly buried in his pants, indulging in his own depravity, while Tess, stripped down to her bra, caressed her breasts with a sickeningly soft touch.

Returning his gaze to you, Joel's grip on your neck tightened, forcing you to look upwards. Your throat constricted around the gun barrel as he pushed it deeper, eliciting a gag reflex. His laughter echoed through the room, a chilling soundtrack to your degradation. "Come on, take it. Come on," he taunted, his voice laced with perverse excitement.

With a cruel twist, Joel abruptly removed the gun from your mouth, leaving you gasping and coughing for air. The taste of metal lingered on your tongue as you struggled to regain your composure, tears stinging your eyes from the violent intrusion.

Ignoring your distress, Joel's eyes glittered with amusement as he admired the effect of his torment. "Pathetic," he spat, his tone dripping with disdain. "You can't even handle a little gun in your mouth."

Joel roughly turned your head to face Tess and Tommy, positioning you back-to-back with him, creating an unsettling image of depravity. Tess had her hands buried in her pants, mirroring Tommy's lewd actions. Meanwhile, Joel's touch grew more invasive as he groped your body with the cold metal of the gun, each touch sending a shiver of revulsion down your spine.

"You like that, huh?" Joel taunted, his voice dripping with contempt as he pressed the gun teasingly close to your trembling body. "Bet you've never had anything like this before."

You squirmed uncomfortably under his touch, feeling exposed and vulnerable as he continued to taunt and degrade you in front of Tess and Tommy. The weight of their lecherous gazes only added to your sense of shame and helplessness.

Joel's grip tightened around the gun as he abruptly thrust the cold metal barrel into your pussy without warning, causing you to gasp in shock and pain. The sensation was overwhelming—a mix of burning agony and icy coldness that made your entire body tense with discomfort.

Despite the searing pain that coursed through your body, there was a perverse and unsettling sensation that accompanied Joel's crude violation. It was as though amidst the agony, there lingered a twisted form of pleasure—a dark and forbidden allure that sent conflicting waves of desire and revulsion washing over you.

As the cold metal of the gun's barrel plunged into you with each merciless thrust, there was an undeniable arousal that stirred within you, mingling with the anguish and fear that consumed your senses. It was a sickening realization, one that filled you with shame and self-loathing even as your body betrayed you with its traitorous response.

Each jagged edge of the gun's barrel seemed to ignite a primal fire within you, awakening sensations that you had never dared to acknowledge before. Despite the brutality of Joel's actions, there was a part of you that craved the twisted pleasure that he elicited—a part of you that hungered for the forbidden ecstasy that danced on the edge of pain.

Amidst the torment, your body pulsed with unfamiliar sensations, a tumultuous symphony of pleasure and agony that left you trembling on the edge of surrender. Every gasp and moan that escaped your lips was a testament to your body's betrayal, succumbing to Joel's relentless domination.

As the gun's barrel thrust into you, each movement ignited a storm of conflicting emotions within you. Pleasure and pain intertwined, blurring the lines between ecstasy and despair. It was a descent into madness, a journey into the depths of your darkest desires, where every sensation threatened to consume you whole.

As the pressure of Joel's grip on your face intensified, his fingers digging into your cheeks, you felt a surge of panic rising within you. You desperately tried to look away, to escape the lewd scene unfolding before your eyes, but Joel's iron grip held you in place.

Tommy and Tess, lost in their own world of ecstasy, moved with a frenzied urgency, their bodies writhing in pleasure. Their hands roamed feverishly over their skin, eliciting moans of delight that filled the room. The air crackled with anticipation, heavy with the heady scent of arousal.

Meanwhile, Joel's touch on your clit sent bolts of electricity coursing through your body, each stroke igniting a firestorm of sensation. You gasped for air, your body trembling with a mixture of pleasure and pain.

"You enjoying this, huh?" Joel's voice dripped with sadistic amusement, his words laced with cruelty. "Such a filthy little slut, aren't you?"

Your heart raced as Joel's fingers continued their relentless assault, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Just when you thought you couldn't take any more, he thrusts the cold metal barrel of the gun into you with a force that stole your breath away.

"Please...stop," you gasped, your voice strained with desperation. "I feel...I'm gonna pee."

The sensation was overpowering, a torrent of pleasure flooding your senses, leaving you gasping for air. You cried out, a primal sound of ecstasy mingling with the moans of Tommy and Tess, who watched on as if entranced.

Joel chuckled darkly, his eyes alight with sadistic glee. "You're not gonna pee, sweetheart," he taunted, his voice dripping with malice. "You're gonna cum."

Tommy leaned in closer, his eyes glazed with lust as he watched your writhing form. "Damn, she's really getting into it," he remarked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Tess nodded in agreement, her fingers tracing lazy circles over her own body as she watched the spectacle unfold. "She's a natural," she murmured, her voice tinged with envy.

Meanwhile, Joel's grip tightened on your body, his touch both rough and possessive as he continued to manipulate your pleasure. "That's it," he coaxed, his tone sickeningly sweet. "Give in to it. Let it consume you."

As the waves of ecstasy crashed over you, you felt a sense of shame wash over you. But amidst the shame, there was also a strange sense of liberation, a feeling of being utterly and completely consumed by the moment.

The room fell silent, save for the soft, rhythmic grunts of pleasure emanating from Tommy's direction. In the shelter of Joel's arms, you watched as Tommy's release painted his shirt, his outstretched hand halted by Joel's stern intervention. With a deft motion, Joel retrieved the pistol from its slick haven within your body, aiming it unwaveringly at Tommy's head.

"I said no touching," Joel's voice was a low growl, his eyes flashing with dangerous intent. Tess's moans were abruptly cut short as she, too, succumbed to her climax. Joel rolled his eyes in exasperation, his patience wearing thin. "Both of you...leave. NOW!"

As Tommy and Tess hurriedly obeyed, Joel's demeanor shifted, his hand gentle as it patted your head. It was a startling contrast to the violence moments ago. "You see, if you follow my rules, I protect you," he explained, his tone almost soothing. But as he gestured with the gun beneath your chin, the underlying threat was impossible to ignore, casting a stark shadow over his words.

"Now, it's time for you to show your gratitude," Joel's voice was cold, his eyes boring into yours with a predatory gleam. "You owe me, and you're going to thank me properly."

His demand hung in the air, heavy with implication. You felt a chill run down your spine as you realized the extent of his control over you. With trembling hands, you struggled to find the words to comply with his twisted request, knowing that defiance would only invite further punishment.

He guided you to the table, settling you onto the worn wood surface. The ache from the red marks on your ass made you flinch, but Joel silenced you with a gesture. "Shh..." His finger pressed gently against your lips. "I'm going to show you how to please me. Watch closely and learn.”

Joel unfastened his belt and let his pants drop to the floor, revealing his nakedness. He then took your hand and spat into it. "Make sure there's some wetness. If it's dry, it won't feel good," he instructed, his voice low and commanding. Guiding your hand with his, he began to stroke up and down his impressive length. His cock was large, the weight of it filling your hand as you struggled to wrap your fingers around it. "See, it's so simple," he grunted softly as he moved your hand along his shaft.

As you followed Joel's lead, your hand moved rhythmically along his length, slick with saliva and your own nervous sweat. His breath hitched with each stroke, his eyes darkening with lust as he watched your tentative movements. You focused intently on his reactions, trying to gauge what pleased him, all the while feeling a mix of revulsion and fear churn in the pit of your stomach.

Despite the discomfort and fear that pulsed through you, there was a strange sense of power in the act, a twisted form of control that you wielded over him. You couldn't deny the rush of adrenaline that surged through you as you brought him closer and closer to the edge, each stroke of your hand pushing him towards release.

And then, with a guttural groan, Joel's body tensed, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he reached the peak of his pleasure. Hot streams of cum erupted from him, coating your hand and spilling onto the floor below. As he finally released, you felt a sickening mixture of relief and disgust wash over you, knowing that you had played a part in satisfying his twisted desires once again.

67 notes · View notes

loganlermanstanaccount · 1 year

Text

Good Cop, Bad Cop

pairing: Joel x Tess x Reader

(AO3 mirror)

summary: after a drug run goes bad, you all find a way to let off steam.

warnings: 18+ minors dni. smut, mff, threesome, dacryphilia, (light) sub/dom dynamics, degradation, slight breeding kink. Joel is a little mean and Tess is even meaner. fluff at the end <3

a/n: Tess does not get enough love imo!

wc: 1.2k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The air after a run was never this bad. But this time; everything that could go wrong, did, and it's a miracle the three of you make it unscathed.

"That fucking rat!" Tess spits as soon as you get into the apartment. She's almost shaking with rage. "That so-called plug doesn't know his right from his left. What a joke…"

Joel puts down his gun and unpacks, eerily quiet. You know his silence is deceptive; he's just as pissed off as Tess. "Should'a known FEDRA's been keepin' tabs. Shit was too easy 'til then."

He slams a switchblade onto the wood of the dining table, gruff under his breath. Tess grunts in agreement, running a shaky hand in her hair. "We're fucked."

You peel off your parka with your back to both of them. It was your fault they were in this mess, you were sure of it. You weren't like them - haven't been in the business for as long as them. Floundering, and failing upwards all the time. So you were quiet, chewing your lip as you put your things away. In the hum of fluorescent lights, they both look at you and then one another.

Tess' dangerous like this, sauntering up to your side and putting a hand on your shoulder.

"And this one-" She squeezes, a little cruelly, "-wouldn't stop flirting with the fucking guy."

"Don't be mean, Tess,"

She grabs you by your chin, arm around your waist to pull you close. "She's a slut. A fucking slut.

You blink away tears. Joel comes up to you to wipe away one that falls onto your cheek.

"You did good, doll." He says softly.

You can't breath, all of a sudden. They both crowd you: whilst Joel holds your hand, Tess rubs slow circles into your waist. She's close, and pretty, and captures your mouth into a deep kiss.

Its rough and tumble and messy. She pants as you separate. Joel slots his lips into your mouth immediately after, just as hungry. You're light headed as he leads you to the beat up old couch and puts you on your knees.

With a hand in your hair, Tess yanks, pushing you closer to the seat of his trousers. You place your hands on his thighs and paw at the denim.

"You're gonna suck his dick, baby. No hands. M'gonna watch." Tess orders, unbuttoning her jeans in anticipation. You're looking up at Joel with big, innocent eyes and he almost cums right there. Hooking your lip under your teeth, you unbutton his jeans, and palm him through his underwear. He rocks his hips into your touch, head back and lost in bliss.

"Fuuuuck. That's it darlin'..." He sighs. Tess' got a hand in her underwear, humping her hand as she watches, but she gets impatient. Roughly, she wrenches your head towards her, and growls in your ear.

"Hurry the fuck up. Haven't got all day."

You rush to take out his cock and kiss at the tip. His head weeps with cum and you lick it up demurely. The older man writhes on the couch, his hips jumping up to meet your soft lips. When you engulf his head in the warm heat of your mouth, Tess pushes you down as far as you can go. He fucks into your mouth roughly, as you choke and splutter around his pretty dick.

"T-tell her, how pretty she is, Joel,"

"That's it darlin', you're doin' so good f'me. Fuck, aren't you the prettiest thing…."

You're bobbing up on down on his length, tears in your eyes at the sting. He's big, hitting the back of your throat with ease, filling you up so you can barely breath. Tess is relentless, fucking you against his cock as you moan and whine sloppily. You hump the floor desperate for any friction at your clit.

You're pulled off with pop, gasping for air with lidded eyes. Joel desperately pumps himself, head almost touching your plump lips.

"He wants you to strip, hun. Wants to see those beautiful tits when he cums all over you…" Achingly slow, Tess motions to take off your shirt. It comes off, and then your jeans follow. Blushing now, you're left in a lacy black bra and no panties, with both of them fully clothed.

"See Joel? No panties…" She gives your bare pussy a slap. You're soaked when she dips a finger into you, her tits pressed against your back.

Joel's possessed at the sight, both of his girls on their knees, your tits shuddering as Tess fingers you. All of a sudden he's cumming, ropes of white on your chest. God, you're close, hands in a bruising grip on his thigh, chasing the snap of a coil at the base of your stomach. So, so close… and Tess wrenches her hand out of your pussy.

"Not yet," she lilts, licking your wetness off of her hand. Joel pulls you up into a kiss and helps you straddle his lap. He's sucking at the skin at your collarbone, at your tits; obscene as he licks up his own cum.

When he turns you around, facing Tess, you can't think straight. He rubs the head of his dick against your pretty pussy, smearing your wetness with the flat of his big palm. The older woman is on her knees in front of you both, helping to guide Joel's fat cock into your hole. You swallow him up and groan.

"Tell her how pretty she is, Joel." She's pulled her hair back and plants a wet kiss at your clit.

"You're so, so beautiful; on my cock like an angel, darlin'. F-fuck, look how good she takes me," Tess moans into your heat as you writhe on Joel's dick. He hasn't even started to move and you can feel yourself almost over the edge.

His grip is punishing when he starts to fuck into you, and you're babbling cock-drunk and blissful. "Maybe this time, I'll fuck a baby into you. You wan' that Tess? Our baby plump 'nd round'n pretty?"

It's too much. It's all too much. Tears stream down your face. Tess cums with a moan and you follow; gushing into her mouth as she laps it up eagerly. Joel bounces you up and down through it; chasing his second orgasm of the night. The sounds of him fucking into you relentlessly are graphic; and so she sits back on her heels to watch him slam into you, his hands hooked under your knees and spreading your legs as far as they'll go. You tumble into another orgasm just as quickly, when he finally stills and spurts into you.

Joel moans into the crook of your neck as he comes down from his high; softening inside of you. Where you meet, there's a creamy ring around his dick. Tess kisses you, gentler this time, brushing your hair behind your ears.

"Wasn't your fault today." She says softly. Sniffling, you nod.

"Want you to say it for us, darlin'. Wasn't your fault." Joel croons behind you.

"Wasn't my fault."

With that, you can feel Joel smiling into your skin. Tess kisses your forehead, and laughs.

#I have a lot of issues to unpack in therapy #whoops #I slipped #joel miller #joel miller x reader #tlou #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #tlou fic #pedro pascal #joel tlou #pedro pascal x reader #joel x Tess x reader #Joel Miller x Tess servopoulos x reader #smut #joel miller smut #kat_writes😼

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creedslove · 11 months

Text

SHARING YOU

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!bisexual reader x Tess

Summary: Tess can have any girl in Jackson, but she wants you, Joel's girl and the only way that can happen is the three of you getting into an arrangement

Warnings: queer!Tess, bisexual!reader, smut, mentions of threesome F/F/M, dirty talk, jealous!Joel, a little bit of voyeurism, lesbian sex, scissoring, smut with no plot

A/N: besties I don't even know where that came from, I mean, I don't even like Tess in the show let alone find her hot but I had a real dirty dream about it and the idea got stuck with me all day long

1.7k words

Tess and Joel weren't a couple, they were partners in crime or, as they liked to call, at work.

You and Joel were a couple, sort of, you were in love with him, he might be in love with you, but he wouldn't admit it, however he made clear you were his.

Tess wasn't in love with you and you weren't in love with her, but she was in love with your body and after a night of drinking and flirting with you, she got the balls and went to talk to Joel: she wanted to share you with him.

He laughed. Truly laughed not believing her words at first. He thought she was joking, but when Tess didn't flinch a muscle and waited for the answer, lips didn't even twitch in a smile, Joel swallowed hard. The woman was dead serious.

He didn't understand why she wanted his girl, you were his. It was established from the beginning, from the moment he lay eyes on you, he knew you would be his, and you wanted to be his. Tess never had any problem finding herself some pussy, she often did it easier than Joel if anyone asked - not that he would admit it out loud. Even when they were back in the QZ, and now in Jackson? Of course it was a smaller community and women didn't seem so desperate for easy sex like they were in Boston, but he was sure Tess could get as many drunk girls at the bar as she desired, women who claimed to be straight but died of curiosity to try things with another woman, or even some bored housewife who would like to live a dirty fantasy. So why his girl? Why you? It was a big no.

Tess sighed and licked her lips, staring at Joel "come on, don't you really wanna see your girl with another one? We can get to an agreement… you watch. Or participate" she suggested.

And that caught Joel's attention.

So the two of them began discussing their agreements.

Joel would have to be present at all times it happened, he could either watch it or participate in it. Tess came to the point of telling Joel he could stick his cock in her if he didn't stop her from doing anything she wanted with your cunt.

And you stood right there, a few feet away listening to everything those assholes were talking about you as if you weren't in the room, or worse, as if you were their little pet.

A part of you got infuriated at that audacity, they discussed who would fuck you, on what terms they would fuck you without even asking your opinion, assuming you would just go with it. However, another part of you couldn't control the warmth in your lower belly, it was so outrageous, so dirty and yet, you felt a slick warmth in your panties. You couldn't believe yourself when you saw how turned on you got at those two motherfuckers wanting to use you as a sex doll.

But they did it, and against any better judgment you loved every minute of it.

And it became a regular thing, usually weekends, when things were calmer, work wasn't so demanding and the three of you could enjoy yourselves.

However, Joel came up with another rule: Tess didn't sleep in the same bed as the two of you did, rule of course, she often disrespected.

It just made sense to her: if Joel got to sleep with his boner poking your ass, she had the right to sleep with her pussy rubbing against your thigh. And you? Always slept safely between the two of them. You couldn't say you didn't like your arrangement, cumming with Joel was good, but it was also good with Tess, it was different, her touches were different from his, there was something about being with another woman and something about Joel watching the two of you. You knew he liked it, no matter how hard he tried to hide and pretend he didn't, it just made him hard in an obscene way and he couldn't get enough of it. Even if the sting of jealousy still bothered him, the lust was bigger and it always topped that.

He knew your heart belonged to him and no one else's, no matter if Tess made you cum as hard as he did, she wouldn't be the one you clung to at night, nor the one she would bake apple pies like a cute and docile housewife, and he liked that. At the end of the day, no matter if you were shared in bed, you were still his, his girl, his everything, and Tess couldn't get a hold of that.

He woke up in the middle of the night still a little confused as the sleep haze made his memories of the night before blurry. Or it was the amount of alcohol he had, but he didn't care, as soon as the images of you whimpering, legs spread as Tess ate you out at the same time you had his cock shoved deep into your throat, he smirked. Or when you switched positions and ate Tess out - you were quite inexperienced at first, but with time you got the hang of it. You had even confessed to Joel you enjoyed doing it, and you understood why he enjoyed burying his face into your cunt so many times during the week.

He loved the finally fuck you while you were on your knees, your hands gripping Tess's hips to keep her in place as you flicked her clit up and down, suckling on it and loving the way her pussy gushed and her juices soaked your chin.

Joel wasn't so sure about the deal in the beginning, but now he couldn't deny he enjoyed seeing you unleash yourself and act like a sexually free woman. It was hot, Joel really loved it.

What he didn't love was when Tess still intruded after everyone was satisfied and stayed in your shared bed. He watched her, hair sprawled all over her face and groaned, displeased to see her so close to you.

His hand on your stomach pulled you closer to his body, enough so Tess would raise her head and roll her eyes "I'm not gonna bite off any slice of her, you know…" she said annoyed to which he only scoffed "she's mine, you had some now get out" his voice was a grumbling purr and you finally stirred, groaning on your own as the two of them didn't shut up.

You rubbed your eyes "why can't you two just stay quiet? I didn't hear any of you complain when I made you cum… at the same time" you said.

"Because she won't leave when it's time for her to leave" Joel groaned like a jealous child.

"I haven't left because I'm still horny" Tess immediately replied and looked down at you, her hands going for your hips, stroking them softly "we could go for a second round, couldn't we princess?" She licked her lips and looked at you, but Joel's hand immediately snapped hers away from your skin.

"Come on Joel, wouldn't you want to see us rubbing clits together? The way her slippery pussy rubs against mine, our clits hard and wet, all of that… what do you say, Joel? And you, Y/N?"

You could tell Joel was a little jealous and a little bothered, but you felt another wave of lust hitting you. Enough to sit straight in bed and turn on the lamp on the nightstand.

You bit your lips and smiled "mmm I think I'll like that… would you like to watch, Joel?" You asked him, going for his neck, kissing it as your hand caressed his cheek, feeling his scruffy beard under your touch.

He sighed a little annoyed, though the way you opened your legs immediately caught his attention. Joel sat straight in bed, pulling you to his lap, if you were going to fuck Tess you would do it while rubbing against his cock as well.

He positioned you on his lap, helping you keep your legs wide open while Tess came closer like a predator. The man's fingers went down your naked body, finding your pussy lips and spreading them.

He couldn't believe how wet you already were, and it would definitely make him more jealous if he weren't already turned on by it.

"Mmm take a look at this pretty cunt, your pussy is so pretty baby, your clit drives me crazy" Tess praised, kissing your thigh and spreading herself for you to see.

You bit your lips, watching her pussy, it was so soft and her clit was big, which you found out it was a huge turn on for you. Joel's digits found your clit, rubbing it gently, using your wetness on it, making it harder and slippery.

You whimpered as Joel held your lips spread apart, at the same time Tess came closer. She was a lot better at scissoring than you were, so she always took the lead.

Approaching you, she placed her leg on top of your thigh, enjoying the fact your hips were up thanks to Joel's lap.

Her clit finally touched yours. It was hot and wet and it sent a shiver of pleasure down your spine. You moved your hips slowly at first, Joel's hands helping your pick up your pace as Tess rubbed herself against you.

If you were wet before, now you were simply soaked. The obscene sounds of your both cunts against each other's, the way your clit was rubbing against Tess and how you moaned as your orgasm approached filled the room.

You wanted to speed up the pace, not getting enough friction, so you tackled Tess back, pushing her against the mattress as you got off Joel's lap and climbed on her, fastening the pace, riding her pussy as fast as you would Joel's cock.

You were so full of pleasure, the knot in your lower belly was intense, and the moment you felt Tess's legs shake and how wet she immediately got once she moaned louder, you let it go yourself.

Cumming on top of her, you could feel your juices mixed running down her thighs.

Looking back at Joel, you smirked. His cock was rock hard, and he needed your attention now.

You would have a long night ahead of you, it was always like that when you were Joel's and Tess's fuck doll.

_____

A/N: 😳🪭

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pascalsbby · 9 months

Text

The Devil & His Brother

Prologue

Joel x Tommy x Reader

Summary: 3K / Joel x Tommy x f!reader

The day he killed you is the day you fell in love with him. You died in his arms, just grateful there was a God, wondering why he was on his knees for you, holding you, after you spent your entire existence denying his very own.

The one in where you fall in love, lust, with both of the Miller boys. But only one can have you. Right?

Series Warnings: 18+ mdni, eventual smut. Outbreak, Jackson, slow-burn, angst/comfort, age gap, power imbalance, possessive tendencies, drugs/pills/alcohol, threesome, major daddy issues (that’s why you need 2 daddies instead of 1). Talk of death, God, the Devil himself. Girlfriend sharing, cuckholding, begging Miller boys. Probably some shared brotherly words of encouragement, voyeurism, age gap, dominate & aggressive, pet names, praise kink, all holes filled <3, ‘he’ talks you through it, tells you what to do.

Unreliable reader for now- uhhh she’s dying.

“I choked / on such longing I couldn't spit out. Yes, desire is so different / when God bore you hungry.”

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Warm water soothing an aching throat, cold, sweet fingertips from cherry seeds staining white napkins. His fingerprints burned into your core. Deep red in the corners of your wet mouth, dripping down the side of the horse, painting the snow carmine. The baritone of his voice shaking through the pool of blood, “What’a shame. Hell, woulda made a pretty wife.”

The sweetest part of a cherry is its heart. Suckling, rolling, and removing the fine skin with your teeth. Your skull hitting the ground. Red. You’re scared you’ll choke on it, but you don’t spit it out. You can’t. The sweetness is gone and you’ve accidentally bit your tongue.

The splitting of cherry skin, from teeth to skull. Loud, thunderous around the sound of cicadas screa- no, singing you a lullaby. Hips, swaying.

God humming.

It’s darker now, you can hear the thud of hooves imprinting the cold, every single movement screaming through your being. You were sat atop stretched denim over thick thighs, rugged and hot against the freezing expanse of your exposed skin.

They leave most of themselves behind- stem, seed, head, heart- the cherries. Sacrilegious-ly religious-ish. Or something. Had you known religion? Starstuff sounded better than dirt. Would you die from the gunshot wound or the cold, first?

No. But anything stands in for a cross, especially when he’s sitting there above you vertically, heart opened horizontally. He was looking down upon you, holding you against his body. Floating.

You’re warm, you’re warm, finally you’re—

And your body slackens as your brain does too, from him. From the ground, the sky, the back of this horse. Blue, blue- black. The last rising of your chest, cold air running through the sharp pains in your throat. Mouth dry, silent, slack.

Was this the dust part? You don’t want to say good night to the moon, so you you look up at her and make eye contact with her comforting stare- and you don’t blink- because blinking is returning to the looming darkness. Blinking is allowing the night to take you. The warmth from his body upon yours, melting your body into the ground. The moon is so bright.

And she looks down upon you and whispers, “I’ve got you bunny - I’ll hold your hand and you just think about those stars. How pretty they look right now- jus’ for you.” Even the moon sounded like him.

“We’ll be home soon, baby.” He pleaded.

Home.

A scream. Not one of terror, one of defeat- desperation. Vilely testing through the back of his throat.

A release… comfort.

A death.

Your own.

He was supposed to save you. He was like water- quenching and soothing your aching throat before you drown in it.

Fire, warming you- before burning you alive.

Tears releasing, falling, leaving- before the pain in the back of your throat, slithering to your jaw.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *₊.• ♡ °:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *

Three resounding gunshots bounced off the distant hills, the thick snow-covered ground. The sound carrying its ominous message far and wide while the silence that followed bore witness to the weight of their deadly intent. Feet, crushing the crystals against the Earth, running from your falling body, rather than to. More than just a pair, moving in the apposite direction. Smaller, smaller, gone.

One sound traveled further, still quivering in your ears, kissing the air around your body as the bullet made a home in you. Your own death tearing from your mouth into the now, quiet, night. Even the cicadas had stopped howling, feeling the force of yours as it tore through your stomach, out of the back of your throat. You rested your head upon the soil and suddenly the ocean was inside of your ears. The mumbling of hurried male voices, anger, present.

The ground was holding you, and it was so cold.

"Mierda,” another beings voice stuck in the thick air, furious at his God. "What the fuck are you doing?”

Their identical voices now filled with resentment, clashed, and you felt like an intruder in your own death. You hadn’t excepted it, but they had. And God was speaking again “- ‘till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” He was blessing you before fate found death and invited her in.

His boots reached your ears last. He was immense, expansive- held shoulders that could carry you to safety, if he so pleased. But he didn’t. You don’t know why God chose today as the day you were going to die… why he was lying about it to one of his most loyal servants. He had shot you. His eyes were the first thing you’d had seen as soon as the barrel of his gun lowered behind the bushes.

You had wished for death so many times, it was almost a relief that this, was it. There was nothing reaching around inside of you pulling your organs closer to the ground. Even though that’s where we mostly end up these days— in ash. Burned, split into stardust. Or thrown on top of each other in endless pits, burned to Earth once more. Entering the world is painful enough. Why can’t we exit it peacefully?

Maybe this was peaceful enough. You were lucky he was here to take you home. Even in his hesitancy. Even in your own confusion as to why he had to take you right now. You’d been alone for three years before this moment. Yes, you were grateful it was him.

It could have been his brother, instead.

But you’d been a good girl, you knew you wouldn’t be meeting the Devil anytime soon.

He wasn’t in a hurry walking towards you, no. The ground was moving under your ear as he disturbed the dirt with the fist of his boot. You had been looking at him the entire time, sideways, face pushed into the dirt where you landed. Your body felt the presence of his before he was back in your eyesight, and suddenly you knew you needed to move. Your mind had accepted death, but your body hadn’t. He could shoot you again, put you out of your misery. But you were too far away from where you wanted to perish. The graves of your family, too far away. It’s too soon to die, please let me get to my family first.

Even God does what he needs to survive his guilt.

There was no remorse in the way his arm slung over the gun, beading sweat running towards whatever it could caress, his other arm resting beside him. He was sturdy, infinite as he rose closer… he knew he was successful in his attempt. His entire figure blurred as tears rolled horizontally down your face. He wasn’t worried that he’d killed you- that was his goal. He was worried you weren’t dead. And that just wouldn’t do.

His overworked cowboy boots were standing before you, kicking up ground into the dusk. His heals clicking louder, shotgun returned to his hand and pointed towards you; he locked his eyes into yours with an unnervingly malevolent gaze. It hurt to move, so you didn’t. You could hear him breathing, wondering for how long you’d be doing the same. At least you were leaving at the hands of God- not from the mouth of a Clicker.

How do they feel dying? Someone had told you a long time ago about how they’re still conscious up there, through it all- taking over the functions and body but leaving the brain to feel. Relief then, probably. To finally return to the ground with their brothers and sisters, not caring if it takes fire and gasoline, and his hands around your neck. You were okay with death if it meant never ending up even further caged inside your own brain. Or the end up in the act of taking someone else’s.

You whimpered at him, unable to move anything but your eyes, so you bore into his. He must have somehow set you on fire, your body scorching and reaching for air as he looked over you. You saw God in just the creases of his eyes— they smile, adorning his warm skin. The wrinkles whispering love songs to the skin they get closer to. “I am moving with you (time)((love)).” Age. Speckled. Small spots turning into stars in a night sky.

His irises were warm, far away, like he’s looked death in face, shaken its hand and kissed it better- and failed, mercilessly. Big and brown, eating away at your flesh. They were so sad, but not for your fate. They were sad that your fate had to be the same as the people he’d lost before. The ones you had lost. How everyone goes these days. He was sad it all turned out this way.

You knew in that moment that he’d seen this before- death. Of course he had. At his age, brows furrowing and light speckled against the darkness of his beard. The creases in his face softened as he looked into you.

He’s seen this before- a young girl bleeding out into the red dirt, fading, whispering away from a dying world. You stare up at him, knowing he is waiting for a response that you didn’t have. Spare me, you thought. His thick fingers curled around the base of his weapon and his knuckles turned white beneath the dried blood and dryer skin. He was contemplating. He was trying to forget.

Your own blood pooling, his knees cracked as he bent down to get a closer look. You felt yourself slipping as his fingers brushed over your skin in an understanding nod.

“I know it hurts, baby.” You may not be able to feel another’s hands, soon. You were weeping. “But I ain’t gonna hurt you sweet thing. Stay still.” The last bit a demand, rather than a suggestion.

He took in your form as your own blood cooled beneath you. He was making a decision. Suddenly, his face pained, burrowing the depth of his pain between his eyebrows. Were you praying to him? Screaming his name in vain? Begging for forgiveness?

He held his hand over you, pausing before reaching you and sinking his fingertips to your flesh, feeling. In the same motion, he lifted your shirt, brushing his knuckles across your side. You felt it. Deep.

He moved on to the legs of your pants, searching for the exact entry point. You wailed when his fingers danced on top of your skin. Eventually losing patience, he flattens his massive hand flesh to you, and slides his hands up your body. There it was, right above your hip bone on your left side. You were going to die. You, now covering him, seeping warmth into the cracks of his skin. Your DNA fusing into his. Your throat hoarse.

He stared down at you for a moment before he let out a sigh and picked you up, grunting at the weight of another human in his arms. He laid you on his lap and you stayed, languidly, letting him do as he pleases. It’s not as if you were really feeling much besides the consistent fire kissing your veins. The very veins that are bleeding onto his lap, seeping into his own cuts- you found yourself contemplating, hoping, there was still more seats left in the Heaven at his feet.

“Shhh, relax baby, stay still. Gonna be j’us fine sweet thing. Patchin’ you up. Gonna find the rest of ‘em then we’ll get somewhere safe, okay? Sun’s settin’. Need you to be still.” He hurried through his words, looking around for who could be inviting themselves into the party after hearing you struggle. He reached for a knife in his pocket and you let out another wail. He winced at its power and tore his sleeve from his shirt, securing and adding pressure ever so slightly to your side.

Them?

“This wasn’t supposed to happen, fuck.” He yelled another man’s name and then he was chanting quickly under his breath, “fuck, fuck, fuck.” He was doing a sour attempt at controlling his bodily reaction to you as you lie over his lap, soaking his denim in your blood.

As the seconds ticked by, you felt a surreal detachment from the world around you, his cooing voice seemed to slip from your grasp, as if you were drifting away from reality. It was peaceful, until it wasn’t. He was attempting to move you. The sun was setting. For the last time.

“Look how fuckin’ young she is Tommy.” And then another Angel appeared. He was angry as he looked down upon you, but it wasn’t directed towards you. He must have seen it in your eyes, death. “We got you baby. Settle down.” The voice was solid and clear, unlike the other. This was the person he was yelling for.

“I didn’t fuckin’ do it Tommy. I didn’t.” There was pain in his voice. Anger. God spoke and you thought maybe another bullet had entered your skin. You screamed like it had and the warmth spread.

Suddenly God wasn’t as he appeared before. His blood-red appearance contrasted sharply with the angelic figure beside him, his heat poured over your being as the Angel standing next to him wept; both of whom seemed strangely familiar to each other, though not to you. Their faces were disappearing into themselves, blurring.

He sneered into you and you felt it vibrate your bones. Looking as if he was laughing. Or maybe he was screaming. Everything, you, are fading at this point. The caress of the sky, humming lullabies into your hair.

His drawl sounds oddly beautiful running from the tip of his teeth, touching tongue, to the hot mid-July dusk; the mosquitoes riding around on droplets of wet dampenings- the sound settling at the base of your eardrum and running like water towards your center. Than towards your hip bones. He looked different now as he sang you to sleep, brushing his thick, callused fingers down the side of your face, nook of your neck, clearing it from the dirt that has already made a home in your skin. Your matted hair sticking to drying lips, yours.

You needed to focus on something- the slick of his mouth, lips, opening. Tongue running outwards until his teeth bit down. He runs his flattened fingertips against your scalp, trying to calm the pain of fading from the world. He had a mustache, graying facial hair. He was haunting.

There was nowhere else to look, his form hovered above you in contemplation.

Gazing upon him was like glimpsing a celestial being. Maybe the sun, itself, coming down to Earth to scorch it anew. He was red. Fire. He was melancholy, sadness, and so goddamn pretty.

He wasn’t God. He was Lucifer himself- a morning star. Light-bringer. Life-taker. Eenie meanie mini mo. He was heralding the dawn.

The other one, who at first you thought was Angel, must be God. He was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. But there was something about the one that almost smiled like the Devil. The one cast in red. The one who killed you. Amidst the echoes of their argument, you couldn't help but wonder if there was more to their anger than just the fact that the pretty one had shot you.

Amidst the confusion and pain, you heard distant voices calling out to you. The words sounded far away, as if you were standing three rooms away, ear against the door.

“Hey-“ it sounded closer now, coming from the emitting light. “Gonna hold you tight now Bunny, don’t move.”

He’s gone, the warmth from his fingertips has set in on their initial touch, burning heat like vines across your arm, stomach. Each bite individually riding its way towards your ears, body, core. You’re put atop something hard. In. Out. Holding less air than the lowered clouds in front of you.

Fire kissing at your stomach, making you wonder if it was from where his hand was sprawled, lower, pushing, hoisting your legs upwards, carefully unto another warm being- a horse.

You were too tired to keep your eyes open. So you closed them and softly said goodbye to yourself. The only words you had spoken, and no one has heard them. They were just for you.

As you close your eyes and slide further into the darkness, you find it almost humorous, the entire story of your death.

Sure, no one told you God was a cowboy, but they never mentioned the Devil was, too. And it seemed a lot more people had met the Devil. Including you.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *₊.• ♡ °:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *

A/N: Thank you to everyone who commented on the intro post. Please let me know what you think 🥹 smut happening… SOON! Y’all mean the world!!

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blank-slate-jay · 1 year

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Secret Admirer

Joel Miller X Male!Reader

Word Count: 1.3K

Summary: Joel just met you and can’t keep his eyes off of you

A/N: Super busy lately, here's something a little short while working on some of my other Joel fics! Hope you enjoy!

Again he was on you, looking over you like you were some rare specimen; someone you’d rarely come across.

He couldn’t figure out what it was about you. Whether it was the way you carried yourself or the way you talked with Ellie, was intriguing to say the least. Only a day or two had passed of traveling to the Firefly statehouse base, and Joel was already feeling something for you. Some guy he knew very little of, other than you being a Firefly.

He had to be crazy. Being interested in someone so quickly, someone who was following a delusional group who tried ‘finding the light’ when you’re lost in the dark. He felt pity for you, and the girl too, wondering why you’d put your faith in them.

“You trying to tear into his pants or something?"

Joel’s eyes rip away from your lower half. He makes eye contact with Tess, who was walking beside him, his eyes furrowing at the sudden comment. He doesn’t keep his gaze on her long as he looks back ahead, making sure you nor Ellie heard her remark. “No.”

“I saw the way you were looking at him,” Tess implies.

Joel just shakes his head, trying to play it off as if he wasn’t looking in the first place. She wasn't stupid, both her and Joel had known each other for a long time. If anyone knew what was going through Joel's head it would be her. "Let's just stay focused. We need to stay alert for any infected." Joel wasn't fully wrong if it weren't for the fact that he was being a hypocrite.

Tess hums, "We should," putting a higher emphasis on her last word. It wasn't fully toward herself but rather to Joel. It was a moment for him to snap out of his fixation on you, to remind himself of the task they had ahead.

Transfer you and Ellie to the Fireflies, and he'd be awarded a vehicle and supplies.

It was everything he needed to finally get to Tommy. Thinking about his brother and what he was fighting for, made Tess's words strike him where it needed.

He wish it went that way, but things didn't play out the way he wanted.

Sometime later the group were continuing down the nature infested highway, finding multiple trucks lined up blocking the path forward. This didn't stop them from scaling the vehicles. Joel went first, with the help of you and Tess, they boost the man up til he grapples the the sides. Pulling himself up, he gets a view of the remaining highway. From the looks of it, everything looked clear and he notifies the others.

You help boost Ellie up til she's grabbed by Joel and do the same for Tess as well. You still remaining, jump up as high as you could, being pulled up by Joel and Tess until you were all on the same level.

Tess casually releases your hand, turning around to face the direction they were headed. Joel does the same too, his grip loosening hesitantly until he pulls away.

"Thanks", you said letting your arm drop to your side.

Joel just nods, looking down as you pass by him. He lingers too long with his hand, rubbing his thumb across his palm, almost like he wanted to feel it wrapped in his own again. He looked to you, standing next to Tess as she points ahead.

“We’ll cut off at the drop off point, should get us back on route.” Tess relays.

You nod along with Ellie, dropping down first so that Ellie had someone to catch her on the way down. You did so, preventing the girl from spraining her ankle. Tess drops while you finish helping Ellie, leaving Joel as the last one.

You offer to help him down, sticking your hand out is if the man needed immediate assistance.

“I got it,” he declines your aid, keeping his voice monotone.

You let the man be, stepping back some to give him room. He slips off the edges hitting the ground with a groan. His knees were not in they’re prime, slightly worn out due to his age. Bending down he grabs and squeezes them to ease the soreness. He could still see your silhouette, standing idle for…him?

The man tilts his head in your direction, confusion washing over him. “You don’t have to wait for me.”

“You’ll be left behind though”, you say looking over your shoulder at the girls who were some yards away. Turning back to him, you notice his pained expression, “Is your leg alright? I have some painkillers if you need some.”

Stop. Stop. Stop it. He wanted to tell you to shut up, he wanted to tell you off. There was no way you, a stranger, were this considerate for someone like him; a man who had a gun to your leader, Marlene. You had to be doing this to get something out of him, you had to. Joel was trying to convince himself of that, cause no way anyone in this world was senselessly kind. Good people died two decades ago.

The man stares at you, reading between your eyes to see if there was some malicious intent behind them. Nope, none, all he saw was someone who was genuinely trying to help. Realizing this, he pulls himself together and stands up straight, "I'm fine".

You watch as the man tightens his rifle over his shoulders before nodding, "Alright". You turn, and continue down the road. Followed by Joel who stayed some feet behind you.

With Tess in front with Ellie, there was no one around to point out Joel's gaze. He catches himself staring at you longer than he should, looking away like someone was watching him. The silence didn't help either, Ellie and Tess's distance chattering barely did him any favors.

Maybe small talk wouldn't hurt, being on good terms with a firefly might make their trade with the outpost that much easier. The man was kidding himself, surely.

"Where you from," he started, catching you off guard.

You turn your head to him, "Hmm?"

Joel repeats himself, "Where you from?"

"Oh.." you murmur. You answered, receiving a nod from him as a response. Joel falls quiet, not being the best at carrying out a conversation. You on the other hand kept things rolling, "What about you?"

"Texas."

You pursed your lips, "Figured." The man raised an eyebrow, "It's the accent.” you assure him. “So were you like…a cowboy back then? Do you ‘yeehaw’ whenever your on a horse," you smile attempting to make the conversation somewhat engaging. All you got was Joel’s expressionless face, either he had no sense of humor or he refused to cave into your banter.

You turn your gaze away from him, the awkwardness gets the better of you. Sighing you wanted to cool the tension. You whisper, “tough crowd.”

Joel simply squints at you. He notices you talked the same way with Ellie as you did with him. Just freeing, and openly, like no care in the world. To him it was more weird than anything, with that kind of openness you could get yourself killed. But on the other hand, that kind of behavior draws people in. That was probably what was happening, mixed in with how good you looked, he almost felt it was a trap of some kind.

Joel reflected on it, all the way until the 4 of you were standing atop of a building; the sun shining upon you all. With Ellie standing to his left and you on the other side of her, he pictured it, being together. It was a quick flash in his mind, but it still hit like a truck. To have a family again, he’d kill for it.

Tess informs the group to follow her, as she descends a rough ladder. You and Ellie follow, leaving Joel behind. He gazes down at his watch, pondering on it momentarily, did you really have to part ways? So soon?

#joel miller x male reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel x male reader #joel the last of us #joel miller imagine #joel miller #tess the last of us #ellie the last of us #tlou #joel miller hbo #the last of us #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #x male reader #pedro pascal

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ashecampos · 4 months

Text

WEB HEAD SEVEN

(TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH SELF HARM, PTSD, DRUG MISUSE, FLASHBACKS⚠️you have been warned)

Sweat and blood stains my suit as the rugged man drags the knife across my skin again. All I can think of in this moment is my family, tessa, Emily and Kate. Thankfully Tessa is with me in the room. Yet unthankfully she isn’t responsive at all. Through all of my screams and pleading all I can see is the man’s face. Black slicked hair with a taper fade, a few strands falling onto his cold face. Thick eyebrows, one with a scar running through it much like my own. His piercing black eyes, his defined cheek bones and large nose. His small lips and his tidy beard. The tattoo that runs up his neck and the uniform that reads HYDRA. He swings the hammer to my face as I scream once again. Darkness.

My body shoots up. Sweat covering my body, a cold feeling lingering as I take in my surroundings, assessing the potential dangers. With heavy sharp breaths my eyes dart around the room, a mixture of dark purples and blacks decorate the walls.

A warm hand reaches for my shoulder as a light is flicked on. I prepare myself for another slash to the face but it doesn’t come.

The person instead positions themself in front of my face. One of their hands fall onto my waist as the other reaches up to caress my cheek. I wince in pain as their finger traces the newly stitched cut on my jawline. A lavender scent fills my senses and it hits me. It’s just Kate. Looking up at her she gives me a lopsided smile. Concern evident on her face.

She speaks but I cannot hear what she says, her lips move but I cannot listen. I’m zoned out completely.

I try to concentrate on her face. The raven haired girl, comforting blue eyes, full lips, a cute nose and shaped eyebrows. Her hair is down and wavy. She is wearing my purple sweater. One of her favourites of mine.

Once again she speaks but this time I listen “Milo, I swear to god if your high again I will murder you in your sleep with a pillow. I mean I’m not saying you’re not allowed to get high of course, but you are completely out of it right now. It’s getting bad, Nat and Wanda are staring to ques…” she pauses suddenly as my arms wrap around her waist and my head falls into her shoulder. I let out a small sigh which is a mixture of relief and pain. I can’t let her know that I’m having nightmares, I need to ‘be a man’. I need to ‘man up’ as Tessa’s father would tell me when Tessa and me where playing with one of his guns and she accidentally shot my in the arm.

I take deep breaths, breathing in as much of Kate’s lavender scent as I can to calm me. She strokes her fingers through my hair, slowly to not trigger anything but fast enough for me to count how many times she’s done it without getting distracted by something.

“time?” I mumble not knowing if Kate even heard or understood what I was asking. Without missing a beat she turns her head and replies “it’s 6am Milo, remember you have to go meet your brother at eight, then you have training with Natasha at ten.” She starts to list off things in my new/forced to do by the avengers daily routine.

I grab a pair of black chucks, I make quick work of lacing them up and webbing one of Kate’s many bracelets onto my wrist for safe keeping. She had left for training with Clint half an hour ago now. I check the clock on my phone and it is half seven. Fuck. I stumble out of the room putting my phone in my pocket and walking straight into someone.

Just as their body moves to hit the floor I web their waist and pull them up to their feet. “Fuck shit I’m so so sorry I wasn’t looking at what I was doing I’m sorry” I say flustered and rushed, I look up toward the victim of my clumsiness and it’s none other than Wanda. A sigh of relief escapes my lungs, Wanda lets out a laugh at my actions before shaking her head and telling me to run along.

Luckily my brother Brogan had a first class pass into Tony Starks school for the future geniuses of the world. Is my little brother a genius, absolutely not, however his big brother is and got him a scholarship to the school, he is safely accommodated in a private mansion built specifically for the students who attend the facility, meaning he is no longer than a five minute stroll away.

Walking across the hallways of the building I hear gasps and chattering, students gawking at me like I’m iron man or something better. The next thing I know a weight is rested on my shoulders, looking down I see legs dangling from my shoulders, a pair of black and white high top Jordan’s on those legs. I don’t even need to look up to know that brogan has safely planted himself on my shoulders. A low laugh escapes his throat as he jumps off of me. We walk around campus for a few hours, I help him improve on a new mode of weaponry for hero’s he’s been working on. Before I leave I give him a long needed hug which weirdly he reciprocates, wrapping his arms around my nearly healed shoulder blade.

Now for the worst part of this travel. The walk home, yes I know I can just web my way back to the compound but why do so when walking is so much more fun.

Reaching into my pockets I search for my favourite thing. Eventually finding it, my weed pen. I know Kate said I have training in like 20 minutes but just a few little drags won’t hurt. It helps with everything, the pain, the anxiety, the flashbacks. Everything.

A tall brown haired man walks into me, brushing past my shoulder, he has a beard, slicked back hair and is wearing black work out gear. I don’t take another breath before taking off, my legs taking me as fast as I can. Before I know it I’m back at the compound. Running up the stairs and collapsing into my room I don’t even turn back to greet Tony or cap who both say their hellos to me.

Once in my room I see Tessa. Thank god it wasn’t Kate. “Milo” Tessa screams while looking up from her phone as she throws something at me, before my mind can comprehend what she threw I catch the it, looking down at a pillow. I look up giving her the ‘seriously’ face before we both burst out laughing. “Your tingle is getting better” she says between laughs. Groaning I throw the pillow at her, not looking at where I aimed, the pillow goes flying into her face, earning another laugh from the both of us. “you wanna come train with Natasha?” I ask knowing either way I’m going to make her take self defence classes now that hydra knows she is associated with me.

My brain fuzzy and my vision fuzzier, Nat lands another punch to me. Sparring was never my strong suit in the first place. “Seriously Milo you have to try” she shouts as she goes for another punch, I swerve my body so she barley misses my ribs, then i sweep her off of her feet before walking over to my water bottle. Tessa sits there observing me and fangirling over Nat.

I pour some water into my hands then rub my face with the ice cold liquid. A hand grips my shoulder and spins me around. It’s Nat, I can sense it is but why is she attacking me? I’m out of the ring. She pushes me back to the ring.

We go a few more rounds before she stops randomly midway through a segment. “Milo” she says using her intimidating voice. “Look at me milo” she demands. Fuck. I keep my head down, avoiding eye contact with the older widow. She takes a few steps towards me and grips my chin moving my face so I have no choice but to look her in the eyes. “for fuck sake milo” she mutters before letting my chin go and stepping out of the ring, grabbing her phone and typing something. “Sit down right now” she orders, I follow her order like an obedient puppy. I stare at the clock on the wall trying to act normal. Nat and Tessa converse for a few minutes before someone else storms into the gym. Probably the hulk. A hand grabs my arm and guides me out of the gym, leaving Tessa and Nat to talk or train. looking around I see who the culprit is, Wanda looks at me, sadness in her eyes. Panic engulfs my brain as I think the worst. She takes me into her own room and sits us both down.

“When I was younger, around your age actually, me and my brother joined this family, fresh out of HYDRA’s torment. My brother struggled with his new found powers and the new environment” she says in one breath, confused I nod allowing her to carry on, she takes a deep breath before starting again. “He started associating with the wrong people. Started taking substances, he was suicidal. He died on a mission while he was high, tried to grab Thor’s hammer while it was flying through the air” she finished before holding my hand. “I’m so sorry Wanda” I say genuinely, she shakes her head. “Milo me and Natasha have noticed you’re acting weird, coming home later than curfew and Kate has informed me that you have been struggling with sleep” she looks me dead in the eyes. Shit. “Wanda I’m fine, nothings weird about my behaviour. Even ask Tessa” I say praying she won’t ask Tessa. I’ve just got this avenger job and I can’t loose it now, I need to protect everyone.

Wanda stays silent and nods letting me off with a warning, I leave her room and head back to my own, not risking going to Kate’s as Nat has probably already told everyone now.

(TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH SELF HARM)

I run straight to my bathroom, my back hitting the cold tiles of the wall, I slowly slide down it and press my knees up to my chest, trying to take deep breaths. Without thinking or even hesitating my right hand shoots a web onto a set of draws attached to a vanity, I open the drawer and pull out a small metal box with my ‘shaving’ tools in it. I make quick work of grabbing my chosen weapon. A small razor blade, the silver glistens against the harsh light coming through the windows from the suns rays. I pull my hoodies sleeves up to my biceps and look at where to start. Angry red lines mock me as I stare at them. Ignoring the pain I slowly and harshly drag the blade across my wrist making a multitude of lines ranging from my wrist to my inner elbow. Then the same on my other arm. It’s only when my vision starts to become blurry that I realise how much shit I’m in. My eyes start to close and darkness.

A knock on my bedroom door startles me awake, with spotty vision I manage to make out that I am on the bathroom floor, not sure why though. I hear the bedroom door click open then a few seconds later I hear it click closed. That was a close call. “Hey Milo I noticed you haven’t been out of your room in hours I decided to bring you some food” I hear a woman’s voice, a hint of sokovian dripping off of the American accent. Footsteps come closer to the bathroom door and then another knock. “Milo? I can see you have to light on in there, please let me know your okay” she says quietly. Another few seconds passes and for some reason I can’t bring myself to answer. Maybe it’s because I know if I speak my shakey voice will give it away or maybe I’m frozen in fear and confusion. “Milo I’ll give you three seconds to either come out or say something or I’m coming in” she says a little louder. “One” fuck she must be bluffing she wouldn’t actually come in, right? “Two” say something Milo or she is going to find out, I grab a towel and press it to my arm, grabbing another and doing the same to the other arm. The once white towels turning red. “Three” she twists the door knob and starts to open the door, fuck she wasn’t bluffing.

Once the door is fully open she scans the room before lowering her eyes to meet my own. Not even a second passes before she is running over and knelt down beside me gripping the towels to my arms. “Fuck fuck fuck what the fuck Milo” she whispers while caressing my cheek with one hand “bandages, where do you keep them” she mumbles while standing up and opening all of my drawers. Without needing an answer from me she finds a first aid box, one that every room has, kneeling back down and opening the box she starts placing things on the floor, alcohol wipes, bandages, and scissors. She opens the wipes and takes the towel off of my left arm, looking me in the eyes, her own turning a hint of red, she’s using her powers. She quickly disinfects my wounds and wraps both of my arms before letting me out of her mind control.

She does as she intended and escorted me to Kate’s room, first making sure I pulled the sleeves of my hoodie down and had eaten some food so I didn’t end up loosing consciousness on the way to the room next door to my own. Kate is none the wiser to what had happened. Me and her cuddle until we both end up asleep.

Kate wakes me up with breakfast in bed while informing me that tonight we are attending a stark party. I eat a little bit of the breakfast before giving her the majority of it, I then make my way to hang out with Tessa, kissing Kate on the cheek before I leave of course.

Me and Tessa stay in her room most of the day gossiping about our time and what we have seen in the compound, she scolds me for showing up to a training session high before realising we need outfits for the party tonight. We always match for these things, this will not be an exception.

After searching for what seems like forever, Natasha agreed to let Tessa borrow one of her dresses and Tony handed me one of his vintage suits a simple yet elegant black suit with a black dress shirt, I pair these with my favourite pair of doc martens, then to complete the outfit I tie my hair up into a slick man bun, combing down any loose hairs. I get pushed into the bathroom by Kate and Tessa to put it on while they put theirs on. I stumble out of the bathroom before straightening my posture and looking at the two most beautiful girls in the multiverse.

Tessa is in a floor length satin gown, a modest yet revealing slit runs down the front of the dress revealing a glimpse of her legs. Her hair and makeup is done, not too much but the perfect amount.

Alike to Tessa, Kate picked out a Lilac coloured satin dress with a lavender glitter on the top of the sweetheart neckline. Kate’s hair is half up, half down, she has mascara and a winged liner on. Both of their dresses are paired with heels making them a little taller than me.

While walking into the party me and Kate loose Tessa on the way in while we greet people, Tessa probably just went to the bathroom to freshen up Kate reassures me.

Looking into my eyes as a slow dance song plays, she wraps her arms around my neck, mine take their respective place on her waist, she smiles. A gentle, genuine smile. You don’t see many of those these days. I smile back a goofy one, earning a chuckle and a slap on the shoulder from her.

As if on que a loud bang is heard throughout the party hall. I wasn’t planning on this type of workout tonight but I guess it’ll have to be done. All of the avengers look between one another and sigh, running to the noise. A few of us are commanded to stay behind and keep the guests safe and entertained. Those people being me, Kate, yelena, Clint and some woman named Jennifer, she has some relation to Bruce but I haven’t really met the whole extended team yet. What better time than in the present though I guess.

#reader insert #x y/n #avengers #the avengers #spiderman #trans spiderman #webhead #spider man #spider person #tess and y/n #spiderverse oc #my ocs #oc x canon #oc marvel #oc

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thewulf · 1 year

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Big Blue World || Joel Miller

Request: Can you do a Joel Miller x Franks Younger sister reader?? I haven't seen any fics with her. Maybe she's a bright ray of sunshine to Joel's grumpiness?... Read rest here

A/N: Wasn't planning on posting this first but inspiration struck and you've gotta take it! Hope you guys enjoy.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Y/N

Word Count: 9.4k+ (Another long one!)

TW: Talk of suicide, general TLOU warnings

One – Seven Years Post Outbreak: The Dinner

The first time you laid eyes on him was only a few years after you and Frank moved in with Bill. It was simple really. Both you and Frank fell into Bill’s trap ditch. You managed to break your ankle on the fall down. Panicked and sure death was in your immanent future you burst out into tears. You weren’t made for this kind of life. This impossibly hard life. You, Frank, and a group of nine others were venturing to the Boston QZ after your home was demolished. You’d been walking for what felt like months, you could really never be too sure.

It didn’t make sense how you of all people were one of the last surviving in the group. Often getting by with just the skin of your teeth your only saving grace being that you were quick. You could run for your life. That, and you had Frank. He was eight years older and the best big brother you could have ever dreamed of. Even pre-outbreak the two of you were thick as thieves plotting to take over the world. He saved your life more times than you could count. You hated it. Being weak and shit. You wanted to be better for Frank. You had to survive with him. He couldn’t do it alone either.

So, when you fell into Bill’s hole and screeched you were just thankful whatever it was would take you both out. Neither having to live in this sick world alone. To your pleasant surprise Bill not only let you stay but he knew how to fix your ankle properly, without having pain in the future. You were sure Bill and Frank fell in love that first night. You didn’t know how that all that worked but you were so happy that your brother found his happiness, his purpose.

Life slowly turned back to a weird fucked up new normal for the three of you. Bill and Frank fell madly in love with each other within a few months. They never excluded you though, making you feel as though you were meant to be here with them. You found it easy to pretend you were back in life pre-outbreak. Finding hobbies around town you got really into knitting and gardening. You just wanted to be seen as useful to Bill. He was kind enough to let you stay so you wanted, needed, to bring something to the table.

You were interrupted from your solace hearing the men arguing at the front of the house. So much for weeding. Being far too curious for your own good you listened in on the two of them as they bickered.

“Oh, fuck you!” Frank yelled rather dramatically.

“Hey! Would you stop?” You knew Bill was rolling his eyes at your brother’s antics. Whatever the hell he could be up to now.

“Do I ask for things ever? Why am I even saying that? This is for me. This is for the three of us!” Your brother yelled. You inched closer dying to know what this blow out was about. The two men could be so damn dramatic when they wanted to be.

“Who cares what they look like?” Bill continued. What the fuck were they on about? You could only wonder as you sat behind the tree near the front listening in.

“I do! Our home isn’t just our house. It’s everything around us!” Frank yelled again throwing his arms up in the air. Oh, he was on the beautification subject again. Frank wanted everything pretty, but Bill never let him. Resource management was key.

“Give me a fuckin’ break.” Bill returned your over dramatic brothers cries. Oops. You knew that was a mistake. Bill always tried to argue but Frank always won.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot. I live in this world. You live in a psycho bunker where 9/11 was an inside job, and the government are all Nazi’s.” Your older brother seemed to calm down even though you knew he was downright mocking Bill.

“The government are all Nazi’s!” He boomed. You couldn’t help but to let out a silent laugh. You agreed with him of course. Frank just knew how to push his buttons.

“Well, yeah, now! But not then!” Frank defended, “I am asking for some paint and some gasoline for the lawn mower. That’s all. I’ll do everything else myself.”

“It is not man-“

Frank interrupted him clearly agitated. You were getting a full-on show now. You hated to admit it, but you loved when they had blow outs. It was your entertainment for the day, “If you say resource management so help me, I will run through one of your trip wires.”

“Okay, okay. Just tell me why.” Bill seemed to reason. Boo. You knew as soon as it calmed down the show was over. It was fun while it lasted. Standing slowly you were going to make your way back to the garden only to hear Frank continue.

“Paying attention to things. It’s how we show love.” You listened in again. What the hell was he talking about now? It sounded like bullshit, “This is my street too. Just let me love it the way I want to. And I’m fixing up some of the shops.”

Ohh, it just got juicy again.

“Woah, woah, woah.”

Frank rolled his eyes, “Not the stupid ones. Just the wine shop, and the furniture store. And the clothing boutique.”

“The boutique? Are we hosting formal garden patties now?”

“No!” Frank couldn’t help but to roll his eyes at the man. That was so like him, “But we are going to have friends.”

“Excuse me.”

“We’re going to make friends and we will invite them to visit.” Oh, hell yeah, this was getting good now. You could use some friends anyway. You prayed Frank won this battle with Bill.

“We don’t have friends Frank. We will never have friends. Because there are no friends to be had. Other than Y/N.” You grinned hearing that last bit thrown in. You loved that he always made sure to include you. You grew on him that’s for sure.

“Well, I’ve actually been talking to a nice woman on the radio.”

“You what?!” He screamed. Oh hell, Frank was in trouble now and he knew it. You watched as he darted to the front door ignoring Bill.

Bill turned right to you shaking his head. Busted, “I know you heard that whole thing. You’re not sneaky.”

You shrugged, “Who said I was trying to be?”

“You and your brother are going to fucking kill me.” He groaned making his way in to talk to Frank.

You only smiled as he departed. Bill had also grown on you.

Next thing you knew you were meeting the nice woman named Tess and her friend Joel. You couldn’t but to take your eyes off the man. He wasn’t like anything you’ve come across in Baltimore and now here. He was so freaking handsome. You hadn’t a clue how to handle it. It’d been years since you talked to another human let alone a beautiful man.

At dinner you made sure to look at anything but him, keeping your eyes locked on either Tess or Frank. Luckily Bill was his usual grumpy self after losing to Frank and kept his gun out and trained on the two strangers. You were so thankful he kept their attention instead of you.

“Can you not, please?” Frank sighed looking over to his boyfriend. You bit you lip trying to stifle the smile that threatening to spill over. They were always bickering. Like an old married couple. They couldn’t even hold it together in front of the guests.

“I’m the same way.” You heard Joel speak for the first time. He seemed to let Tess take the lead most of the time. Thankful you weren’t standing. You were sure your knees would be wobbly. He had that smooth southern drawl with a thick husky bite that’d draw just about anybody in. Fuck. You couldn’t have possibly been this horny to be thinking such things of a literal stranger. You had to reign yourself in quick.

“Oh, you’re a paranoid schizophrenic too?” Frank quickly chided in. You only leaned back rolling your eyes earning a quick glance from the handsome stranger.

“I’m not schizophrenic.” Bill sat there looking between everyone. That killed the whole mood. Great, just wonderful. The first real people you meet, and you’ve all ruined the chances of them coming back already.

Tess cleared her throat interrupting the silence, “Well, can I just say, gun aside, which I get,” She laughed but continued, “how nice this is to have a civilized meal in such a beautiful place? It’s been so long. I mean, I just, uh, I wanna thank you. Even if we don’t end up working together. I really needed this.”

“We are working together.” Frank cheers confidently. You only leaned forward smiling, “We are.” He looked at Bill who only looked horrifically apprehensive about this whole situation. Frank was pushing him beyond his limits.

Before you knew it Frank and Tess were walking inside giddily talking about something they chatted about on the radio. Leaving only you, Bill, and Joel alone. Great, the three mutes. You leaned back waiting. It wasn’t your place. This was for the big dogs, and you certainly weren’t one of them.

“If my uh, if mine brought strangers into our situation I wouldn’t be too happy either. But of all the people you could’ve found on the radio we’re actually decent people.” You leaned back further letting your mind wander as the two of them talked. You only prayed Bill wouldn’t drive him away completely.

You sighed as they left. Bill drove them out. You stayed a couple of feet behind and watched the two conversations unfold. You gave Tess a wave and smile before she was out. Joel didn’t bother turning around as he waved the group off. Leaving you with only a small frown. They’d be back soon enough. You were sure of it.

Two – Eleven Years Post Outbreak: The Supply Run

That familiar voice that you hadn’t heard in so long came from downstairs. Quickly, you ran down the steps to greet the now acquaintance that you wished would show up more often than he did.

“Joel! Tess!” You jumped down the last step only to be greeted with Joel and Bill, “Wait where’s Tess?” Fear ran through you. Did she get infected? Was she gone already? She was Frank’s only friend outside of here.

“Frank just took her to the boutique.” Bill grumbled sitting down in the chair at the dining table.

You let out the breath you were holding, “Good!” You clapped thankful that the worst hadn’t come over your somewhat friend. If you could use that word, “Maybe she’ll pick out some of the clothes I made.” You grinned knowing you just stocked the store up with your latest sweaters and hats. What else were you supposed to do with your time other than make way too much clothing that the three of you would never go through?

“You make clothes?” Joel asked seemingly interested in the conversation.

You beamed just happy he noticed you. He hardly noticed you before, only briefly talking to you each time they had come back. It seemed they stopped about once a year. Tess always giving Frank a heads up on the radio before the made the trek up north.

You wished you could get Joel to see you. But you were just Frank’s little naïve sister. That’s all you ever seemed to be. Not that you blamed him, he was right after all. You really were just Frank’s naïve little sister having way too much optimism for this cold world.

You craved any attention Joel gave you. From the second you laid eyes onto him four years prior and every brief interaction each year since you were entranced by him. He was so strong and composed. Something so opposite of you. Someone so sure of himself every time he came around. And Jesus, look at the man. He was so damn attractive it nearly drove you mad. He only seemed to get more handsome each time he and Tess walked through those gates. You thought about him far too often. Far too often for somebody who saw you as Franks little sister.

“I did and do! There should be some that fit you if you want some yourself?” You gave him a hopeful smile. Maybe he’d accept?

Joel looked somewhat impressed? You couldn’t tell. It wasn’t a look you’ve seen from him before, “Yeah?”

“Mhmm.” You grinned, daring to take a step closer, “Bill’s even modeling my latest collection. Classic springtime.” You waited patiently for him to decide. You weren’t sure how to handle yourself if he decided to come with you. You’d literally dreamed of alone time with Joel and here was a chance at it… you didn’t think you were ready.

Bill huffed turning away. Because of course he did. Earning a brilliant scowl from you. Truth be told he held a lot of love for you in his heart too. Your constant reassurance and optimism grew on him over time, not that he’d ever dream of telling you. He wasn’t mushy. He could hardly handle you in your sober state. In your emotional one? He’d for sure go mad.

As if by a miracle Frank and Tess came barging in giggling about who knows what. Saving you from a too awkward encounter with both grumpy men. You couldn’t help but to smile at the Tess and Frank. They would have been friends’ pre-outbreak too. You could just tell. Two souls that connected so effortlessly.

Joel noticed you watching them. He always noticed. He was always watching you when you weren’t watching him. He couldn’t help it. He was drawn to you, and he was really God damn tired of fighting it. Every time he came, he hoped he wouldn’t run into you. He wanted to but for his sanity’s sake he couldn’t run into you. But you always showed up. With that damn brilliant smile and cheerful greetings. Making him feel way too special. He craved it. He loved it.

“Y/N!” Tess came rushing over to you placing both hands on either of your shoulders, “You made these? These are actually good. They have designs in them and shit. I didn’t really believe Frank when he said you were good at it, but he was right. I’m impressed.”

You shrugged, “Well, when you have all the time in the world.”

That earned a chuckle out of the woman. She seemed so happy and relaxed here. A side Joel rarely saw. A side that was seemingly reserved for you and Frank. It made sense though, both of you were infectious. Both Joel and Tess let their usual stoic guard down around you both.

“Joel. Go now. Y/N will show you.” She ordered. So sure of herself. Something you so deeply admired about the slightly older woman. She lived that life. The rugged one. Yours was so damn peaceful compared to hers. A country club compared to the life she lived.

You nodded towards the door, “Come on, I’ll show you.” Not daring to betray Tess’s orders you nodded for him to hurry up.

He nodded. His mind was made up for him by Tess, “Alright. Lead the way.” He tried to look grumpy. He didn’t know how it was actually paying off though. Because he was way too damn excited to finally be alone with you.

You held the door open waiting for him to join you outside. You led the way a couple of steps in front of him. Tired of the silent walk you had to say something, “How’ve you been holding up Joel?”

He sped up a couple of steps taking that as an invitation to walk beside you. He had no God damn idea of how to act around you. He had a stupid big fat crush on you that Tess, and now Frank, knew about. He was sure that’s why she sent the two of you alone.

It happened slowly for Joel. Initially, he really only did see you as Frank’s little sister. You didn’t do much for him. But over time, over the shortest of visits he slowly started to look forward to seeing you bright shining face. You always greeted him with the happiest of smiles. Like it was the pre-outbreak world, like nothing was wrong. Tess picked up on it over time when he bugged her to visit with supplies. Claiming he needed to see Bill but always brining you up somehow.

Joel knew it was dangerous. Falling for someone in a world like this. Someone like you. You were just too pure for this world. He couldn’t see you outside of these chain link fences. He didn’t want to imagine you trying to survive out there. You didn’t deserve it. You deserved so much more.

“I’m okay. We’re okay. Getting by just fine. Couple supply runs here and there.” His accent came out strong the longer he was away from the QZ. The longer he was able to relax the thicker it came out.

“Good.” You nodded. You too had no idea how to talk to him. Coming from such separate worlds it was like your brain couldn’t fetch the words to converse with him. Which was really bad for you.

“And you?” He offered. He was trying. Something you hadn’t seen from the gruff man. You turned looking at his face as the setting sun seemed to hit all his angles just right. Eyes tracing every feature you soaked everything about him in.

“I’m decent.” You sighed knowing that was a terrible answer. So, you did what you did best and just started talking, “Been busy knitting a store up. Trying some new techniques in the garden I read from a 2001 Farmers Almanac. I think it’s working too. I’ve got a ton of cucumbers. I’ve gotta pickle them or they’ll go bad. Unless you guys want some?” You offered knowing you needed to stop before you babbled far too much. It was either way too much talking or stone-cold silence when it came with you and awkward conversations. And this was incredibly awkward.

He was giving you a different look. A much softer one. One that’s as if he’s seen you for the first time, “We’ll take some. But you’ve gotta pickle the rest. We’ll be back and then I’ll take some pickles. Deal?”

You giggled feeling your cheeks heat up as he kept his eyes locked with yours. You watched as you saw his eyes turn up slightly as small smile formed on his face. You had a feeling this was a very rare occurrence for Joel. Not often finding that smile. And you were right. It was terribly foreign to Joel, but you brought it out. Somehow, some way he felt a little lighter when you were there.

“Deal! We’ll have way too much for us anyway. The garden is getting a bit out of hand, but it keeps me busy.” You stopped pointing towards the building, “Here we are.”

He held his hand out, “Ladies first.”

“Course.” You smiled leading him in, “There should be some stuff over there that you might like. I’ve got some extra stuff in the back if you don’t like any of it.”

He nodded letting himself go and search. You sat back on the countertop that used to contain the cash register.

“You really made these?” You heard him before you saw him.

“The ones without the tags yeah!” You brought your legs up and sat with them crossed beneath you. Simply waiting on him to grab whatever he needed.

Before you knew it, he walked up to you holding a few sweaters and shirts, “Is it alright if I take these?”

You nodded, “Sure. I’ve got plenty more. It only takes a few hours to make these now. I’m afraid I’m going to run out of yarn.”

“I can get you some.” He replied without a hesitation.

“Yeah?”

“Sure. Consider it a trade. Next time I see you I’ll have some. What colors you want?”

You smiled a bright smile to him. You’ve grown so fond over the four years you’ve known each other. But it felt like you’d suddenly broke through to him. Whatever it was you were so thankful. This was a Joel you didn’t know. A Joel you could surely get used to. Even if you only saw him every year or so.

“Pinks and purples. I ran out of those so quick. Didn’t know how much I liked them.”

He nodded, “Pink and purple yarn coming right up.”

“Thank you, Joel.”

He shrugged, “Consider it a trade.”

Three – Fifteen Years Post Outbreak: The Seed Trade

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Looking around to make sure Bill wasn’t going to pop up.

Frank shrugged, “He’s got so many fucking guns he won’t notice a measly 9mm missing.”

You sighed feeling that anxiety rising in your chest, “Fine. Who’s coming for this trade?”

“Joel.”

“Joel?” You sounded surprised. It had only been six months or so since you’d seen him last. Not that you were complaining in the slightest. You’d always welcome him back.

“And Tess.” He smirked, “But I just wanted to see your reaction.”

“Oh, fuck off.” You giggled knowing he was teasing about your crush on Joel.

“They say after six months of crushing on someone it’s love. It’s been what? Eight fucking years of the two of you flirting like mad when he comes around. I think it’s past love at this point.”

“What of it Frank? It’s not like he’s moving in here. It’s not like I’m moving to the Boston QZ.” Rolling your eyes, you leaned onto the chain link fence.

Franked rolled his eyes right back at you, “Why couldn’t he move here?”

“Uhm, because he has his own life with Tess?”

He shrugged, “You know people moved for far less in the pre-outbreak days.”

“Well, we aren’t living in those days, are we? We’re living in fucking reality Frank. He has a life. I have mine.”

“You haven’t even asked.”

“It’s not my place to.” You admitted. Sure, you’d thought of it, but it wasn’t your place to in the slightest. This was Bill’s place after all. The two of you so immersed in the debate back and forth neither of you heard the pair coming up on you both. It wasn’t even like they were being that silent.

“What were you guys talking about?” Tess asked popping out of thin air. Joel stood behind her smirking at the heated conversation between the two siblings. He and Tommy bearing a striking resemblance to the bickering siblings.

“Nothing!” You turned smiling at the pair you’ve grown to love over the years.

“Joel!” Frank said right after you. You turned towards your sibling eyeing him up and down. The nerve on him beyond you at this point. Frank was really just tired of waiting to see you two together. He knew there was nothing going on between Joel and Tess, like you were worried about, but he also knew Joel was apprehensive. As were you.

“And Tess!” You turned towards the two of them again, “Good to see you both so soon.” You smiled brightly towards Joel. Your best smile reserved for your favorite man. That certainly didn’t help your case with Frank though.

“I got you some more colors.” He handed you a duffel bag stuffed full, “Red, purple and blue this time.”

“You’re spoiling me, Joel Miller.” You cheered happily accepting the gift. Tess and Frank could only step back and watch the innocent interaction. For the life of her Tess couldn’t understand how soft Joel got with you. Only with you. Frank too marveled at your nerves with the man. Your usual confident self only seemed to waver in his presence.

“Or” You turned back towards him with wide eyes. Getting ready to tease him, “Is it because you know I’ll make you nice clothing?” You continued on, welcoming the harmless flirting that always seemed to arise between the two of you.

“You caught on quick.” He threw you a rare wink.

You giggled softly, acutely aware of the audience intently listening in behind you, “You’re lucky I adore you both. I’m more than happy. Any requests?” It really was your favorite. Gift giving was your love language to others. It just made you so warm and fuzzy inside to see everybody’s reactions to getting something they love.

Tess coughed, not caring that she was interrupting the moment. She needed some items and if you were offering, she would be taking. She missed the harsh glare from Frank though, “I really could use some new socks.”

You turned towards your friends, “You got it. Stick around long enough today and I go grab you a few pairs?”

She nodded her head quickly, “I honestly could really use them. You mind Joel?”

“As long as Bill doesn’t.”

Frank shook his head quickly, “Not at all! We’ll make sure to have dinner ready for everybody.”

“We wouldn’t want to impose…” Joel began before you bucked up the courage and interrupted him. You wanted him to stay.

“You wouldn’t be at all. Bill and Frank love cooking. Enjoy it.”

Joel nodded folding into your assurance quickly. That’s all he really needed to hear before he agreed to staying.

“Thank God.” Tess grumbled, “I could use some good food too. Joel, we gotta get out here more often.” Tess notes.

“I agree!” You nodded trying not to be too gleeful about the innocent proposition.

“Yes please.” Frank nods. He adores hosting and wants people to come around more often. Especially if those people include Joel. He so desperately wanted to see you happy with him. Even if it meant losing you to the Boston QZ. He knew you’d visit.

Joel let out a rare laugh seeing the group so happy. So fucking carefree. So, unlike the norm. God, he missed the old days. How simple that life really was, “I’m not stopping anyone.”

Tess smiled, “It’s settled then. We’re coming for you more often.”

Your face lit up at the confirmation, “Good. Well come on then.” You flashed your smile towards Joel, “You know where everything is, get comfy.” Beckoning them to come in with your hand you turned back towards Tess, “What color this time? I’ll even make you blue ones if you want!” Your cheeks began hurting from the grin that wouldn’t fall from your face. It warmed your heart that Joel always brought you more yarn, always. Even five years after that conversation with him, he never failed to bring you some.

She shook her head, “Just use some scrap yarn or something, nothing special.”

“You deserve to have a color you want Tess. Something that makes you happy. Plus you know I have a pair in every color ready to go.” Your eyes softened as you really looker her over now. The last five years not being kind on her, on anyone really. Her initial soft features began hardening over time. Wrinkles formed where her scowl always was. The world wasn’t kind to you. But the world was downright cruel to Tess and Joel.

“Anything is fine really…”

You stopped immediately not satisfied with her answer. Joel almost ran you over as he was paying attention too closely to the conversation and not what you were doing, “Well, what’s your favorite color?”

She laughed, “That’s something I haven’t thought of in a while.”

Giving her a sad look these conversations never failed to pull at your heartstrings. You all were unfortunately born into a world that would simply never exist anymore. A world that was thriving. A world that was so fucking foreign it hurt. You were almost jealous of the humans being born in the post-outbreak world. They would never know the luxury of living that old life. This was all they knew. This was their normal. This September will mark the fifteenth year that you were living this new normal. This insanely fucked up normal.

“Mine was pink. But it just doesn’t seem as happy anymore.” You admitted, “I think my new favorite is blue. Sky blue. That’s happiness to me.” You shot her a small smile.

“Why’s that?” She asked as the group started their short walk back to Bill’s house.

You shrugged hoping what you were admit didn’t make you look too soft, “When I get tired of gardening I like to lay down and just look up. Watch the clouds like I did when I was a little kid. Find figures in the clouds. The sky never changes. There’s just something so cathartic about it.”

You didn’t see it because he was walking behind you but a ghost of a smile crossed Joel’s lips. He couldn’t help it. He was so fucking drawn into everything about you. So gentle in a world that wanted to rip you apart at any moment. He, of course, made a note of it. He needed to find sky blue yarn. It wouldn’t be easy now. It started getting difficult to find untouched yarn in the QZ. It was even harder finding it outside. But it never bothered him. The smile alone on your face when he handed you a bag full of yarn was worth all the trouble to get it.

Tess nodded, “I think mines green. Grass green. Tree green.”

“And why’s that?” You asked her the same question, curious as to what she came up with.

“Green means the weather gets better. It just makes life easier.” She let out a small sigh of frustration. A growing frustration of trying to stay alive. It wears down on you far too quickly.

Again, another wave of sadness rushed through your heart. Why were you, of all people in the world, given the chance to live this somewhat normal life in the middle of nowhere? Why wasn’t Joel given the chance? Tess? The longer you lived here relatively unstressed the more guilty you felt through it all. Especially seeing just how much the real world had aged the pair.

“Then green it is. I have a really nice forest green pair I think you’ll like. Did the last pair fit okay?”

She nodded opting not to reply verbally feeling the emotions bubble up from deep within her. Emotions she buried so deep down she wasn’t sure if they’d ever come back up. But your gentleness with her, your determination to break down those walls she put up so high was beginning to crack the walls. How you could be so thoughtful was beyond her greatest comprehension. You had to be selfish in the world. You were the opposite.

“Okay!” You clapped at the group made it back to the house, “I’m going to run to the boutique to grab what I need. See you guys later.”

“Want some company?”

Your stupid heart sped right on up hearing that husky voice from behind you. Biting your cheek, you wanted to hide the smile that was forming automatically. God, you’d dreamed of moments like these. Moments where Joel sought you out instead of you seeking him out. Moments where you knew he liked you. Wanted to be around you.

“I’ll always take your company Joel.” Turning towards him you did not want to see Frank and Tess’s reaction. There was a 100% chance they’d run into the house giggling like little schoolgirls gossiping about the two of you. They turned into middle school girls the second any kind of drama could be sniffed in the air.

You could’ve sworn you saw the slightest hint of a blush dance across the apples of his cheeks.

Giving him a soft smile, you started walking to the boutique with Joel in tow.

“How are you doing Joel?” You asked hoping he’d give you the real answer not the bullshit fluffy stuff you were used to. You always asked him this same question each time he came.

“I’m… tired.” He admitted while running his hand through his grown-out hair.

Looking down to the ground you hid the frown as you kept pace with Joel now, “I can’t even imagine Joel. I’m so sorry... I”

He cut you off by placing a friendly hand on your shoulder. The contact immediately making you freeze up. It’d been too long since you’d been touched by anybody other than your brother or Bill. Your eyes clouded over with unshed tears as you tried to bite back the emotion that suddenly overcame you.

“You don’t need to apologize.” You continued to walk as you racked your brain for anything to say to him, but it seemed to have short circuited.

“I feel guilty.” Not having a clue why you were admitting it to him you blinked a few times hiding your emotions best as you could.

Joel didn’t understand why you would feel that way. He just gave you a curious look, waiting for you to continue. When you didn’t hear his reply you finally bucked up the courage to get another look back at him. His eyes urging for you to elaborate.

“Why me? Why did I get to live this life. This easy, simple life? How did I luck into it? I guess it doesn’t really matter. It’s all ending soon anyway.” You decided to drop the bomb on Joel. Finally feeling like you could tell somebody.

“Why do you say that?”

You sighed finally spitting out what’s been bothering you for the last few months, “I think Frank’s sick.”

“What kinda sick?”

“Not infected. I think it’s like pre-outbreak sick Joel.” You turned away wiping the stupid tears that slipped down your cheek. You were worried. So, fucking worried for your best friend.

Joel still looked confused, “Okay. Why do you think that?”

“He’s tired all the time. Complains to Bill about losing feeling in his hands and feet. He doesn’t remember things like he use to. I don’t know. Maybe I’m looking too much into it, but something just doesn’t feel right.”

Joel frowned trying to think of words to comfort you, but he came up terribly short. He didn’t do this. He couldn’t do this. The last time he had to was when Sarah was alive. An entire lifetime ago.

You continued knowing he hadn’t a clue what to say, “Bill won’t talk to me about it either. Says nothing’s wrong. I don’t know what to do Joel. They can’t just ignore it.

“Do you think there’s medicine? I can try and find something.”

You shook your head, “Don’t think so. Don’t think they had a cure back then. Sure as hell don’t have one now.”

“Well, you don’t know that Y/N.”

“It’s not cancer. It’s in his brain or something. That’s what the books are saying. I don’t know Joel. It just doesn’t feel right.”

He nodded, “Keep an eye on him.”

You stopped in once you reached the store. Quickly you ran in grabbing what you needed before meeting him back on the street to start your walk back to Bill’s house. Both of you walked back in silence, unsure of what to say.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty.” Joel broke the comfortable silence that consumed the walk home.

“Yeah.” You mumbled not really feeling like debating right now.

“Really. You and Frank were meant to find this place. You were meant to do everything here. You’ve been a constant in Tess’s life. My life, for the last eight years? God, how’s it been that long?” Joel smiled thinking back on his times with you,.

You smiled, “Don’t make me feel so old Joel.”

That drew a heavenly laugh out of your favorite guy. Something that came around so rarely that you cherished every second, “You’re still a kid.” Joel didn’t believe that. As cruel as this world was to everyone it still looked so beautiful on you. You hadn’t aged like everyone he knew. A woman who could pass in her twenties easily.

Scoffing you shook your head, “Hardly! I’m seasoned at life.”

“You sure are.” Joel nodded. He smiled as he studied you this time around. He wished and prayed he wouldn’t have fallen for you, but he couldn’t resist. Not with that smile. Not with your kindness. He wished this was easier. There was no easy way to go about it. That’s why neither of you cared to admit your feelings. What good would it really do but complicate things further?

You made it back to the house where you were ambushed by Frank who looked far too happy, “Y/N! They got us strawberry seeds! Your favorite, remember?”

Walking over to him you inspected the seeds. Looking up to Tess you smiled softly to her, “Thank you. I haven’t had a, uh, strawberry in what?” You looked to Frank brushing the tears away from your eyes, “Fifteen years now?”

He nodded with a big happy smile, “Yeah, fifteen years.”

You turned to Joel, “Thank you so much!”

“Sure, we would’ve brought them sooner if I would’ve known you liked them so much.” He admitted. He wasn’t sure how you did that to him. Got him admitting embarrassing things in front of everybody he knew.

“I guess I just forgot about them. Such a luxury I didn’t even think of. They were our mom’s favorite. She found a way to incorporate them in our food almost everyday.”

Frank wrapped you in a hug. He knew just how soft you were. How sad you got when you thought about mom or dad. They just disappeared right out of your life. Dad never made it back from work that day. Mom got infected the second day. Neither of you could kill her so you ran. Ran so far away until you landed in the Baltimore QZ. Until it then was demolished.

Giving him a squeeze to let him know you were alright you pulled yourself away from him, “Thank you both. Really. Now you’ll just have to come back in a few months when they’re grown. We can make some strawberry shortcake.” The gears started turning in your head. There were so many new recipes you guys could use with strawberries now on the menu.

Joel nodded. Tess agreed, “We already agreed to coming around more often anyway. Now it’s just an extra excuse.”

Frank pulled her to the living room to talk about who knows what.

“Alright, I’ve gotta get to work.” You held up the green yarn. Walking over to the chair in the window you got comfortable.

“Want some company?” Your favorite voice broke your concentration.

“You know my answer, Joel Miller.” With some newfound confidence you winked at him as you said so.

Four – Eighteen Years Post Outbreak: The Trip Back to Boston

“No. No, no, no, no, fuck no!” You punched the pillow sitting next to you with all your might. This couldn’t be fucking happening to you. They couldn’t be making you leave. Feeling your heart tip into two you let the tears fall freely. How could your brother do this to you? You knew his health was the reason, but you couldn’t fathom why he wouldn’t let you stay. You’ve been through this whole thing with him. It felt like he was just abandoning you.

“Y/N… you have to.” Frank’s sad face broke you. You didn’t care about his feelings anymore. You broke down completely now letting the loud sobs free.

“Please Frank, please don’t make me go.” Choking on your words you could hardly comprehend why he was saying this. Why he was making you go.

“You can’t be here any longer. You have to go.” He couldn’t look at you not with the look you had on your face.

“Just tell me why Frank! I can help. I can help you both. I’ll do more. If that’s what it is, you know I’ll do more Frank. Please don’t make me go. Please Frank.”

He shook his head letting his own fresh set of tears fall, “I’m dying Y/N. I’ve got a few months, maybe a year left. You can’t be here for that.”

“I’ll die out there.” You shook your head back and forth suddenly terrified of what traveling to Boston actually meant. The real world. The sick world. The world that wanted to kill you.

“Not with Joel. Not with Tess.”

A cry broke from your throat, “Just like that? After all this time? I can be there for you in the end. I can help Bill.”

“Bill’s going to have to move on to and I’m not sure if you fit into that plan.”

“Oh.” You continued to cry. Curling up within yourself you let yourself cry until you couldn’t anymore. Frank didn’t dare try and comfort you. He knew that wasn’t welcomed. So, he sat there. He wasn’t going to leave you. Not yet anyway.

After calming down you finally processed what the this all meant. It meant the end of the road for you and Frank. It meant starting over, completely. You knew it would end sooner or later but it still stung. It didn’t feel like enough time.

Standing suddenly, you caught Frank’s attention who was just sitting there with his head down, “I’m staying in the guest house.”

“Y/N…”

“Night.” You shut the door behind you, loudly.

It was still bright out when you laid down to go to sleep. Joel and Tess would be here in the morning to get you. To take you to your new home. Turning over in your bed you looked out the bedroom window studying your home once more. The flowers that bloomed out front reminded you of all the times you and Frank spent gardening. Making your home beautiful.

No longer would you be able to make trips to the boutique. No longer would you be able to stock it up for your guests. No longer would you get to live in this little fantasy land.

Woken by a hand on your shoulder you pushed the hand away, annoyed you were woken so abruptly, “Go away Frank.” You mumbled.

“Not Frank.” Fuck. Why was Joel in your room waking you up?

“Oh,” You couldn’t bear to turn towards him. You adored him. Loved him even. But you didn’t want to go like this. Being forced outside your will. It hurt. Crushed you even. You didn’t want to take your anger out on Joel so best to keep your back turned to him. But God, you just wanted to scream. Yesterday you were just living your life as normal, as possible, that you could. Then Frank dropped the bomb and now you were just expected to go, “Sorry, Joel.” Meekly replying to the man, you shed a single tear. That’s the one thing you hated about yourself. How damn emotional you got. You couldn’t bottle it up even if you tried.

“S’fine.” He sighed not sure what to say. What could he say? He knew you didn’t want to go. Frank warned him and Tess once they got there. He knew just how devastated you likely were. Everything you knew was about to vanish. Joel had gone through that a few times. It wasn’t the best feeling. But he always survived. He knew you’d be just fine. And there was that sick twisted thought of happiness that you’d be close to him.

He tried to fight these feelings away. Tried his damn hardest. He knew you couldn’t really love in a world like this. How devastating it always ended. Nobody was ever really that lucky. Joel had loved hard and lost even harder. He swore he’d never let in anybody ever again. Tess was the closest and they were just partners. Nothing more. He loved her but he wasn’t in love with her.

Then you came along. All happy and shit. He swore he’d never love hard again but that promise seemed to crack each time he saw you. You never failed to put a smile on his usual stoic face. He resisted the urges for so long until he couldn’t any longer.

“Can you give me a moment?” You asked hoping he’d take the hint.

He nodded before realizing you were turned away from him, “Right, yeah. I’ll be at Bill’s place.”

“Okay.” You closed your eyes until you heard him close the door. Letting out the shaky breath you were holding. You watched from your window as Joel walked slowly back over to Bill’s place. Seemingly lost in thought.

You put on the fresh set of clothes that you always left over. A simple set of jeans, t-shirt, and a hoodie. Not believing it was really it you forced your legs to walk back over. You had to face the music sooner or later.

“Morning.” You nodded your head at Tess, the first person you saw sitting in the living room.

Giving you a sad smile, she nodded right back to you, “Morning.”

“Y/N.” You heard your brothers voice, “Bill made you a pack. It’s got everything you might need.”

Biting your lip, you took it gratefully. You really couldn’t have done it without either of them, “Thank you.”

“You’ll be okay out there.”

“Sure.”

Joel and Tess sat back watching the painful interaction. Tess nodding towards the door letting Joel know they needed to get out. They both snuck out without you or your brother really noticing. Both too caught up in whatever the hell this was.

“Y/N.”

“Spit it out Frank.”

“I don’t want you to hate me. I’m doing this for you. It’s best for you.” You leaned back into the wall crossing your arms. Choosing your words very wisely. This would be the last time you’d talk with him in this lifetime. You had to do this right. For his sake and yours.

“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I love you so fucking much it hurts.” You let a tear fall. Dammit here they came. The waterworks, “I just wish you’d let me be here for you but if you think this is best then I’ll go.”

“It’s best.”

Letting a few more tears slip you nodded your head, “Tell Bill that I love him. I love you, Frank.” You walked over hugging him tightly. Squeezing him so tightly you knew it was hurting him, but he didn’t dare say a word. You were hurt and grieving him even while he was still standing there.

Letting him go you gave him your best smile, “I’ll always love you, Frank.”

“And I’ll always love you. Be safe out there.”

“You know it.” You turned quickly walking towards the door. Shutting it behind you, you took a breath. Why did you have to be born into this world? What good fucking came out of all of this. What was the point?

Walking over to Joel and Tess, you gave them a quick head nod.

“You alright?” Tess asked.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Joel looked a little too apprehensive seeing your blood shot eyes and rosy cheeks, “You sure?”

“Positive. Please, let’s go.”

“Alright, follow me.” Tess led the way. This was your life now. This was going to be just fine.

The walk back to the QZ was quiet and cold. You didn’t dare complain though. They were simply doing this as friends. Whatever the hell friends were. It only dawned on you as soon as you got close, without incident, that you were an outsider. How in the fuck was that going to work?

“Joel?” You asked one night shortly before you arrived.

“Hmm?” He stayed silent most of the way. Not ever knowing what to say to you. God, he wanted to be a source of comfort, but he hadn’t a clue how to be for you.

“How’s this going to work? I’m an outsider and all.”

He understood your concern, “It’s all taken care of. Tess got some paperwork made up. You’ll live with me for the time being and we’ll find you a job.”

“Cool,” You nodded. Pleasantly surprised that it had been so thought out, “Thanks Joel.”

“Sure.” He had a hard time looking at you. Knowing he’d cave for whatever friendly look you’d be giving his way.

“Thanks for everything Joel. Really. For protecting me and what not.” You mumbled feeling terribly awkward about it all. Even though you didn’t appreciate your life so much anymore it felt good to be looked after. To be wanted and taken care of.

“I’ll always protect you.”

Five – Twenty Years Post Outbreak: The Trip Back to Bill’s

“You don’t have to go in.” Joel stood at the gate blocking the path for you and Ellie.

You shook your head, “I’m okay.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “Let’s fucking go then.”

Smiling at the girl you turned back towards Joel, “You heard the girl.”

He gave you a skeptical look, “You sure?”

“Yeah, I just won’t go in the house.” You kept your eyes forward, not darling to look at him.

He nodded turning back towards the overgrown town. Ellie walked past you keeping pace with Joel. Bugging him about something. You hung back taking a leisurely stroll through your old home. A place you called home for nearly fourteen years.

The usual green grass had turned a shade of brown without Frank’s attention to detail. The bright yellow flowers had been overgrown with weeds. A tug at your heartstrings knowing the worst had come to Frank. That was expected. His condition going from okay to tragic in a matter of a few months. What you didn’t expect was Bill taking his life too. Bill wouldn’t let this place go to shit. It was his home first.

Too quickly you made it back to the house. Joel looked back at you before he and Ellie went in. You nodded, letting him know it was alright. You made your way to the side of the house where your garden was. You strolled through the raised garden beds that were overgrown with who knows what now. It looked like the place hadn’t been touched in two years. He must’ve done it right after you left. They must’ve decided together. Without you.

Tears sprung to your eyes when you spotted the thriving strawberry patch. Somehow untouched by weeds or the animals around it your once small square of strawberries had grown tenfold. Seemingly thriving in this environment.

Squatting down you picked a ripe one. Turning it over in your hand a few times just thinking about Frank before you ate it. He would’ve loved to share one last one with you.

“To Frank.” You mumbled before taking the last bite, discarding the stem on the floor.

You sat down next to the strawberry patch grabbing a few more before you laid back onto the grass. Letting yourself feel sorry for yourself after everything. Knowing what Frank was going to do. Seeing Tess die in front of your eyes. Realizing Bill also left this world. Everyone you loved and cared for gone in a matter of two years.

Tess’s death hurt you the worst. One moment she was there and the next she wasn’t. So unexpected. You had time to process and grieve your brother’s death. Bills caught you off guard but didn’t surprise you completely.

Looking up to the sky you remembered a long-ago conversation with Tess about favorite colors. Sky Blue. It looked so pretty today. Not a single cloud in the sky. One big blue sky.

“Bill’s gone.” Joel’s voice interrupted your peaceful solace.

Flicking your eyes over to look at him you didn’t see Ellie behind him, “I know.”

“You, okay?” He took a seat next to you.

“Mhmm. I’m fine. Take a strawberry. They’re still good.” You smiled up at him continuing to lay on your back.

He did as you instructed, “They are.”

Giving him a genuine smile, you just felt comforted by his presence. He was the only constant in your life for the last two years. You’d grown far too attached to the man, but could you blame yourself? He was everything to you. You were so terrified that you’d lose him too. It’s all you seemed to be doing in the last two years.

“Get everything you need?”

“Yeah. Battery is charging for another hour or so.”

“Ellie?”

“She checking out the town. I told her about the boutique.”

Sitting up you looked over at him. He was so beautiful. The salt and pepper look throughout his hair only making him more attractive in your eyes. The scar that graced his cheek enhanced everything about him. His hair was at the perfect length where it flicked all over the place. He’d probably start complaining in a few weeks. Then you’d cut it and it’d be far too short, and you had to wait until it was your favorite length again.

“Maybe she’ll grab something.”

He nodded, “Power still works. Grab a shower while you can?” He stood up offering you a hand.

“Sure,” You took his hand in yours. Joel pulled you up gingerly. Always so careful with you, “Thanks Joel. I’m going to the house next door. It should still be stocked up.”

“Need a change of clothes?”

He was always so thoughtful with you. Never skipping a beat, always making you a priority. His way of showing just how much he loved you. And he did. Boy did he love you. He just had a hard time expressing it directly. Showing his love in other ways instead. He initially said no when Frank proposed you coming back with them to Boston. But when he heard his pleas through the radio, he knew what he needed to do.

He was surprised at how well you adapted out there. You knew your strengths, weaknesses. You knew how to be helpful and when to take a step back. You never complained either. Just wore a smile on your face instead. That was how you coped. Smile and walk. You’d be there soon enough. The first trip was the hardest. It got easier after that. Joel wouldn’t let you sneak out with him at first. Too scared you’d get hurt. But Tess eventually convinced him. Then you were off helping them out as you could.

“If you don’t mind? There should be some clothes in my room.”

“You got it.”

You’d known about Frank’s passing. Hoping to come to Bill’s for supplies. Lucky for you it hadn’t been raided, yet. Joel worked on getting the truck ready while you and Ellie showered.

You walked back over to Bill’s standing at the front door. You wanted to go in so bad, but it didn’t feel right. Something tell you that you shouldn’t.

“Hey, you hear me?”

You snapped out of the trance you seemed to be under, “No, sorry Joel, what’s up?”

“Come on, need your help loading up.” He motioned to the garage on the side of the house.

“Yeah, alright.” You jogged over to meet him, “Thanks for the clothes.”

“Mhmm.” He kept his gaze forward.

You really couldn’t take it much longer. The thought of losing yet another person with telling them how you felt just didn’t sit right any longer.

“You know I love you right?” You asked.

“What?” he paused looking taken aback at your sudden admittance.

“I love you, Joel.” You smiled a genuine smile. One that felt so good to do.

“You do?”

“Why do you look so surprised? Of course, I do. You’re everything to me.”

He gave you that brilliant smile that made you weak at the knees, “You love me, huh?”

You slapped his arm, “I love you. How many times are you going to make me say it?” You giggled feeling like he was loosening up. Softening even further as he saw your overexcited state

“I dunno.” He took a step towards you, “It sounds nice.”

“Yeah?” You asked transfixed on his gaze.

“Oh yeah, and you know what?” He asked.

“What’s that?”

“I think I love you too.” It felt strange admitting it out loud, but damn did it feel good. Right.

Your heart started racing, “You think?” Raising your eyebrows, you dared take a step closer to him.

He shook his head a bit upset by his choice of words. Always seeming to mess them up, “I know. I love you, Y/N.””

“I like the sound of that.” You didn’t let your smile fade only bigger. God did I feel good to get it out. You knew what his answer would be. He showed his love in other ways but damn did it feel good to hear.

“Yeah, now come here.”

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ilikereadingthisiswhatilike · 8 months

Text

Joel Miller

A collection of Joel x reader stories. None of the stories are mine.

No Smut

Brain Scramblies @strang3lov3 Summary: Bubbly and sweet Reader slips and falls at Tommy and Maria’s anniversary party, hitting her head hard on the floor. Tommy tasks Joel, her grumpy patrol partner, with getting her home safe. In her dazed state, she spills to Joel how she really feels about him! Basically two idiots dancing around their feelings for each other. Warnings: Alcohol Special Tags: Fluff

You Don't Belong @toxic-seduction Summary: You really like Joel, more than you’ve ever liked someone before. But the most important person in his life absolutely hates your guts and you have no idea what to do. Warnings: Angst, Fighting, Lanugage Special Tags: Fluff

Old Soul @softlyspector Summary: You’re never quite sure of your place in Joel’s life. Everyone else seems to know exactly what it is. Warnings: Angst, Mental health, PTSD Special Tags: Fluff

Seams @fuckyeahdindjarin Summary: Joel has to visit the local seamstress. Warnings: Language, Sexual Tension Special Tags: Multichapter

Your My Sunshine! @littlelou22 Summary: You and Joel are polar opposites. you are sunshine while he is cloudy. but you’re his sunshine and he doesn’t quite know how to handle that. Warnings: Angst Special Tags: Fluff

Pretend @littlelou22 Summary: Joel ends things with you, leaving you in the dark as to why. Will the two of you get back together or stay apart? Warnings: Angst Special Tags: Fluff

Lovers and Love. @peterparkersnose Summary: Y/N tries to hide that she is pregnant and Joel finds out. Warnings: Angst, Pregnancy Special Tags: Fluff

Your Gentle Comfort @mentallyunstablegoldfish Summary: Your interest in boys didn’t really exist in your life. It wasn’t until you met your new teacher and had a relationship growing with him that you realized, you wanted a man. Warnings: Emotional neglect, Kidnaping, Sexual Tenson Special Tags: Teacher AU, Multichapter

Smut

Hostage @ATTICRISSFINCH Summary: When you get lost in the woods, a stranger offers to help you get back to your camping site. When your gut tells you to run, you run–until he catches you. Warnings: Rape, Kidnaping, Angst, Weponds, Blood, Violnace, Degradation Special Tags: Serial Killer AU

Bail @Toxicanonymity Summary: Joel gets a call from Tommy in the middle of the night. When he gets home all he wants to do is spend time with the reader. Warnings: None Special Tags: Free Use

Talk Me Down @hellishjoel Summary: You’re finally ready to sit down and discuss your obvious daddy issues. Your therapist, Joel, has his methods. Warnings: Mental Health Special Tags: Age Gap, Therapist Au

Carnal @pascalsbby Summary: You thought you had it all figured out before him. Animals. Tender, primal flesh. That’s what we are at the end of the day, no? Fucking, testing one another and then eating each other alive, heart first. Maybe the heart is the sweetest part of the body- or maybe it’s just the easiest to get to. You knew you wanted to be completely devoured by him. You wanted to fill the space between his teeth. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent, Voyeurism, Stalking Special Tags: Dark, Age Gap

Choke On It @djarin-dreams Summary: They’re both members of the Jackson community, often put on patrols together. Reader has a penchant for destruction and rage, especially in the face of self-preservation. Sometimes, they just want to be able to let go. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent, Violence, Degradation Special Tags: Dark, BDSM

The Special One @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel like the taste of your blood. Warning: Blood, Kidnaping Special Tags: Vampire AU

Hot Single Dilfs In Your Area Want To Chat! @walkintotheriveranddisappear Summary: Hot single dilfs in your area want to chat, and you're more than willing to comply. Warning: Language, Voyeurism, Age Gap Special Tags: Multichapter, Dirty

Sleep Bliss @creedslove Summary: You and Joel used to share a sleeping bag when you were on the road. Once you got to Jackson, he made sure to put an end to this habit, but now his nightmares are back to haunt him again and he needs your help Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Masturbation

Burn For Me @psychedelic-ink Summary: Joel looks after you, provides for you, fucks you until the sun comes up; his only ask is that you never leave his apartment, not willing to face another loss. One day when you find the door unlocked, you decide to take stroll, promising yourself that you’ll be back before he returns home. Warnings: Dubious Consent, Special Tags: Stockholm Syndrome

Pay Girl @the-comorbidity Summary: Sex was a commodity in the QZ, and Joel Miller would do (and pay) damn near anything to have you Warnings: Prostitution, Language Special Tags: None

Kept Woman @slow-motionlovepotion Summary: Pleasure has a price and Joel is willing to pay whatever it takes to have you Warnings: Language Special Tags: Possessive, Multichapter

Winter Coat @dev1lm4n Summary: You gave a blowjob to trade for a winter coat back in the dark days, little do you know, that same guy is now your neighbor. Warnings: Language, Prostitution Special Tags: Multichapter

Prostar @dev1lm4n Summary: There's one thing you've been obsessed with and it comes in the form of a man trapped inside your 13-inch laptop. who would've guessed that wicked fantasies would be a part of your host family and a teacher to all your risky endeavors? Warnings: Language, Special Tags: Multichapter, Pornstar AU, Age Gap, Dirty

Fatherless @weirdfangirl Summary: You offer yourself to a complete stranger in order to survive. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent Special Tags: Age Gap, Possessive, BDSM

Virgin Patrol @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel just wants you. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent Special Tags: Age Gap, Virgin Reader

Snack Brake @joelscruff Summary: You’re just can't keep quite. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel

My Boyfriends Dad @jksprincess10 Summary: When you meet your boyfriend at his family house, you find out he’s at a party and cheating on you. Your boyfriend’s dad offers to take care of you and show you what a real man is like. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel, Dirty

Quicky @joelscruff Summary: Joel is your boyfriend’s dad and you’re fucking him in secret. that’s it. reader is of legal age. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel

Jealous @eufezco Summary: You're a little jealous of Tess. Warnings: Angst Special Tags: None

Daddy Issues @alien-magnolia Summary: Reader has new Daddy Warnings: None Special Tags: Daddy Kink, Hyperfem, Dom/Sub, Dirty

What you’re missing @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel use reader in her sleep. Warnings: Rape Special Tags: Somnophlia, Dark

Making Diner @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel uses reader while she cooks. Warnings: None Special Tags: Free Use

House Arrest @shadeysprings Summary: Your mom goes to attend a work conference for a couple of days, leaving you home alone with her husband. Warnings: Rape Special Tags: Step-Incest

Pillow Princess @ninebluehearts Summary: Reader is a Pillow Princess Warnings: None Special Tags: Hyperfem, Dom/Sub, Dirty

i wanna be your lover @shellshocklove Paring: Joel Miller X Reader Summary: Miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred? Warning: None Special Tag: Dirty, Porn Star AU

give in @cupofjoel Summary: Joel shows you how to love yourself the way you deserve. Warnings: None Special Tag: Soft

Red Light @kiwisbell Summary: The men you keep bringing home are no good for you. It's up to your landlord Joel to protect you from heartbreak. Warnings: Murder Special Tag: Landlord AU

Truth or Dare @joelscruff Summary: harmless game of truth or dare ends with you tied up in a certain mysterious neighbor's garage. Warnings: Age gap Specials Tags: Bondage, Dirty

Crave @allfoolsinluv Summary: You've been babysitting for Joel and Tess for quite some time now. It's a good gig to have while you're working towards your degree. You like them a bit more than you probably should. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Muilty chapter.

Copycat Killer @beskarandblasters Summary: Joel is a famous singer and Copycat Killer is an obsessed fan. She’s willing to do anything and go anywhere to learn more about Joel. Warnings: Drinking, Drugs, Dub con, Specials Tags: Rock star Au, Stalker Au

Ft. Tess Servopoulos (No Smut)

Gone Soft @blathannabeaga Summary: They are soft only for you. Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Poly

Misunderstanding @pettyprocrastination Summary: You misunderstood Tess and Joel relationship Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Poly

My ex boyfriend’s parents @jksprincess10 Summary: After discovering Chad was cheating on you, Joel offered you to show you what a real man felt like. Now, his wife was taking part of it as well. Warnings: Mentions of Cheating Special Tag: Poly

Smut

Strangle Love @ozarkthedog Summary: Joel & Tess find you beaten and bloody on the streets in the q zone. they bring you to their place to nurse you back to health but when you try to leave they aren’t so quick to let you go. Warnings: Rape, Abuse, Violence, Drug Use Special Tags: Poly, Dark

Mare Nostrum Mediterranean Grill @punkassfrance Summary: Your first job would have been stressful enough if you didn't have to deal with mind games from Joel and Tess. But god, you couldn't bring yourself to complain. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Poly, Voyeurism

Ft. Tommy Miller (Smut)

Sharing is Caring @inlovewithquestionablecharacters Summary: The brothers decide to share you. Warnings: Possible Incest, Dirty Special Tags: Poly,

Close Your Eyes, Pay the Price for Your Paradise @ozarkthedog Summary: Hitchhikingis especially dangerous during the outbreak. Warnings: Rape, Abuse, Violence, Kidnaping Special Tags: Poly, Dark, Multichapter

#joel miller x reader #joel x reader #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #x reader #joel x you #joel x y/n #the last of us #joel miller x tess servopoulos #joel miller x reader x tess seropoulos #joel miller x tommy miller #dark!joel miller

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tightjeansjavi · 1 year

Text

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

A/N Hello!! This is my first time I have ever posted any of my writing on here! @peterhollandkait inspired me to start writing again so this one is for you, bestie! <3 I hope you all enjoy it! Likes, comments, and shares are all appreciated. I highly recommend listening to “Lift me Up” by Rhianna “Shrike and As it Was” By Hozier when reading this!

Summary: After a run in with some clickers at an abandoned hospital, Joel opens up to you about his fears of losing you and Ellie after he nearly sees you get killed by a clicker.

~Word count : 4.4k~

Warnings: +18 mentions of blood, slight gore, sad!Joel angsty!Joel mentions of death, lots of swearing, implied smut, soft!Joel m/c is faceless no y/n m/c is short with tattoos

Years of turmoil were etched into his face like the vast ridges of misty mountains standing tall in the distance behind you. Every crease, every ridge on his worn face reminded you that he was a survivor, just like you. You wondered often if Joel Miller ever smiled, if he ever laughed, if he had ever loved.

Joel Miller remembers the day he met you like it was just yesterday. You had left a mark on him; quite literally. He remembers how you had no hesitation in trying to kill him. He remembers the sound your combat knife made when it whizzed past his head and through the rain pelting around him. He remembers the blade slicing through the thin skin of his brow, opening the wound like a blooming rose petal. He remembers your sheer fierceness, your soul desire to survive and endure.

He had always liked that about you, though, he would never admit it out loud.

He remembers the feeling of blood trickling down his brow and his weathered cheek. He remembers Tess screaming through the howling wind that she would kill you. The sound of her gun cocking, his hot breath against the frigid air. He remembers how you didn’t flinch from his booming voice. He wasn’t angry at you, no. He was angry at his partner for trying to kill you. If it were any passerby that were to try and kill him, he wouldn’t blink an eye. You, you were different. You had skills that he found could be useful for his survival. So he spared you, saved you even. You would never admit out loud that Joel Miller had saved you that day. You simply couldn’t.

Joel saved you for his own benefit, as he explained it to Tess, who reluctantly agreed with his reasoning. This however did not stop the woman from resenting you, loathing you even, for reasons you could never understand. Your knife skills proved to be a real asset to the group. You never showed fear. You were quick on your feet when needed. Your lack of height came in handy when small spaces were needed to be squeezed into. You were important for the group's survival and you liked knowing they relied on you.

Smuggling supplies into the Boston QZ was easy work for you. You moved through the shadows like a swift deer, silent and sure-footed. You had only been caught by Fedra once in the past year and it wasn’t your doing. Joel and Tess had a new recruit join you, who ended up being a Fedra rat. You didn’t hesitate slicing through them either. Fedra caught you in the act, and a week of lock up hardened your spirits more. When your time in lock up came to an end, you found yourself outside Joel and Tess’s apartment, seething. You felt betrayed, and after all you had done for them? Betrayal was your biggest fear, but you would never admit it out loud. You swiftly kick the tattered door open, listening to the sound of the wood smack the crumbling wall on its hinges. Joel and Tess had been waiting for you, naturally. You took no hesitation to send a knife whizzing past his head, and embedding itself into the weathered wood beside him, snagging the flannel fabric on his forearm and tearing through the fibers. He and Tess slowly raised their hands up in a truce.

You wanted nothing to do with it.

“What the fuck was that?” you seethed through your gritted teeth.

“Think you can just set me up with some fuckin Fedra rat?” You took a step forward, yanking the blade from the wall before Joel had turned to you, a stern look across his weathered face.

“Easy now, we didn’t set ya up darlin. '' Your nickname spilled from his lips like warm flowing whiskey.

You scoffed at him, tucking your knife back into the holster around your hips securely. “Oh yeah?” You mused. “What the fuck do you call that then, Joel? Sure as hell looks like you fuckin set me up.”

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. You were a menace when you were pissed and he knew he had to talk you down. “It’s my fault, I had the wrong judgment of character. It's not gonna happen again alright?”

You didn’t trust him.

Not trusting him meant your survival was on the line. Alone, you could endure for a period of time. For how long? You were never sure. With Joel and Tess, your chances of survival increased and you would be damned if you allowed yourself to go down before them. You were afraid of dying alone, but you would never admit it out loud. After a short debate in your racing mind, you agreed to trust him, one more time.

“Fine. But I swear to god Joel, you fuck me over like this and next time, its you who i’ll be taking down.” Your threat was not an empty one and with a slight nod from Joel, you let your shoulders relax for a mere moment.

Joel and Tess never fucked you over like that again and you found yourself growing attached to the pair, they were the only family you had. Tess still wasn’t fond of you but the one thing she could admit, was that you were a force to be reckoned with.

Tess sacrificed herself to save you, to save Joel, to save Ellie. Your last moments with her were moments you would never forget “save who you can save.” She whispered, “Take care of him, please. No matter what..He needs you.” Joel was yanking you and a screaming Ellie out of the State House and to safety before you could promise Tess that you wouldn’t fail her. It was too late, she was gone.

Traveling with a teenager had its challenges. Despite them, you found Ellie to be a delight, at times, and treated her as if she was your sister. You wanted to protect her at all costs. Ellie was fond of you as well. What she loved most about you were your tattoos. You weren’t covered in them by any means, but she was fascinated by them and their beauty. Most were fading from the sun and harsh elements but Ellie said that’s what made them so fuckin cool. Joel liked your tattoos, he had the same curiosity as Ellie did, but he would never admit it out loud. Joel was too good for his feelings. He didn’t know how to feel anymore. He’d tell himself that, day in and day out. Even when his heart was twisted and pulled by your mere presence, he told himself feelings were dangerous. He was constantly burning in a hopeless dream. He dreamed of a future with you in a different world where he had no fears of his feelings. Where he didn’t fear if he would ever see another sunrise with you and Ellie by his side. He burned there, day in, and day out.

You were running low on medical supplies and they were hard to come by, especially in these parts. Small cuts and bruises were washed away with the cooling, trickling streams. Gauze was too precious to be wasted on small injuries. You had found an abandoned hospital outside a QZ. You and Joel had silently prayed that it hadn’t been picked over. The weather would be changing soon. Winter was approaching and without the proper supplies, you’d all be fucked. Taking the risk ended up paying off. The hospital wasn’t stacked with supplies but it still felt like a gold mine. While you and Joel gathered up gauze, bandages, medicine and a first aid kit, Ellie found some thick blankets to keep warm. Carefully, and quickly stuffing your loot into your backpacks, you and Joel both looked at each other with the same sense of relief. Your odds of surviving the brutal winter were increased.

Relief, as quickly as it came, dissipated before your very eyes. A shiver rolled down your spine. Your senses heightened when you detected the sound of a clicker. You froze up immediately, slowly turning your head to look at Joel. He slowly raised his finger to his lips and shook his head while you had quietly grabbed a hold of Ellie’s jacket and pulled her behind you and between Joel protectively.

You could feel his whisper before you heard it but there was no detection of fear in his voice. “From now on we are silent, not quiet. Silent, got it? Let's move.” With his gun raised in defense and your knife clutched between your calloused hand, you slowly took a step forward, minding the shards of glass beneath your worn boots. The three of you moved silently through the deserted hospital. Each step felt like your last. Any second one of you could make a noise and it would be all over. You’d go down for either of them, you silently told yourself. All it took was one sickening crunch of broken glass beneath your boot and your heart stopped. Three clickers appeared from the shadows and charged at you, you had given away your cover just like that.

Joel had immediately yelled for you to run while grabbing a hold of Ellie and pulling her along with him. Your feet carried you on instinct, the blood was pumping fiercely through your veins. You could feel your pulse pounding in your ears as the deafening sounds of Joel’s gun rang through the stagnant air. The first clicker went down with 2 shots to the head, it shrieked as it fell to the floor, twitching for a moment. Joel watched it happen in a flash, one clicker charged at you from the side, knocking you through a jagged broken window, the shards cut through your tattered clothes, slicing at your skin and sending searing pain through your veins. The adrenaline coursed through you as you sent your blade piercing through the clickers neck, splattering blood across your face like a paintball gun. deafening shots rang through as the final clicker dropped dead to its final resting place. With an immense groan you pushed the once living thing off your body, breathing heavily as you hauled yourself up, feeling dazed but alive.

You hadn’t even heard Joel scream your name.

He was at your side in seconds, grabbing your face in his calloused hands as he searched your eyes desperately. You had never seen him this feral in these moments. His hands moved from your face, to your neck and arms, nervously checking for any bites. You could see the relief wash over his features when he found no marks. “You could have fuckin gotten yourself killed.” He seethed, his coarse fingertips prodded against the thin skin on your throat. “You never fuckin turn your back on a clicker. Ya hear me?!” His grip softened on you before he released you, kicking the mass of flesh on the tarnished floor with his boot.

“I didn’t fuckin get myself killed Joel.” you deadpanned, feeling the adrenaline begin to wear off as you wiped the blood from your face.

He spun around for a split second, nearly giving you whiplash from the movement. “Not another fucking word. Let’s go. Now.” He spat out before walking ahead of you.

Joel refused to speak to you as the three of you left the hospital before trekking into the nearby woods. Ellie didn’t dare try and crack jokes this time around. You couldn’t blame her. You felt guilty for making a sound, for putting her and Joel in danger. For not being careful enough to watch your footing. You wished at that moment that the clicker had taken your life, for Joel and Ellie’s sake. As you walked through the forest, Ellie came up to your side and briefly grabbed your hand. Giving it a light squeeze as a silent reassurance that she didn’t blame you and she was relieved that you were alive. You squeezed her hand back, feeling the reluctant tears prick in the corner of your eyes.

Twenty minutes had passed and Joel, who was a good foot ahead of you, came to an impending stop, nearly causing you to bump into his broad back. He refused to look at you. “We’ll camp here for the night. It’s too dark out here to keep goin.” he muttered.

All you could do was silently nod and follow his orders. You felt weak.

Ellie had settled into her sleeping bag and knocked out shortly after from the pure exhaustion the day had brought. She was just a kid after all. This left you and a still brooding Joel. Your feet ached, your skin felt raw and there was a slight chance you had a concussion. You silently sat along the rivers bank, cleaning your knife and using a tattered rag to wash the blood from your hands and face. A twig snapped behind you, and you turned, knife drawn and fear in your eyes as you were met with Joel. Slowly, lowering your knife, your eyes softened before re-focusing on the clear rippling water below, illuminated by the moon’s ghostly light. “Let me guess, you came over here to yell at me some more, yeah? You know, you oughta be more careful, making noise like that. My fingers coulda slipped,” You muttered before you felt his hand grasping your shoulder.

“No. I didn’t come here to yell at you more darlin. Although, if that’s what you want, I can certainly deliver,” He taunted for a moment before clearing his throat. “I need to look at your cuts. I know you’re gonna be stubborn and fight me on this but some of ‘em could be deep. Can’t have you gettin’ an infection. You don’t want to end up losing a limb.” His grasp left your shoulder, leaving the skin beneath the tattered fabric feeling warm. You reluctantly stood from the riverside and followed his towering stature to his sleeping bag where you wordlessly plopped down beside the oil lamp. it was too dangerous to light a fire. There were more than just infected to fear.

Joel returned with the first aid kit in tow as he slowly sat down in front of your smaller frame. No words were exchanged between the two of you as you undid the buttons of your torn flannel and slid it down your arms, wincing as the fabric scratched against a particularly deep gash in your forearm. You discarded the fabric to the side before assessing the damage yourself. There were shards of glass embedded in your skin and the long gash up your forearm cut through the arrangement of flowers inked permanently into your skin. “Well, it could be worse.”

You joked but immediately regretted it as his hardened gaze landed on you.

“You’ve got a mile fuckin long gash on your forearm and shards of glass stickin out. Don’t fuckin take that tone with me.”

You swallowed hard then, looking away from his harsh gaze.

“I had ‘em y’know..I fuckin had them, Joel.” You spoke above a whisper, trying to convince yourself that you weren’t almost wretched from this cruel earth just hours ago.

You watched his chest rise and fall with a deep exhale through his nose as he pulled out the tweezers from the first aid kit, using his other hand to grab the oil lamp and pull it closer so he could see the shards of glass protruding out of your skin better.

“You could have fucking died. One second too late and we wouldn’t be fucking having this conversation. You’d be lying on that fucking hospital floor with a bullet through your skull.”

You looked at him then, your mouth falling open slightly. You knew that Joel would have to kill you if you had become infected. It would just be business at that point. He’d make it quick as seeing you suffer would be too much for him to bear.

“You think I'd let you live as one of those things?” He stifled a chuckle. “I’m cruel darlin, but I would never let you live through that. So do yourself a favor. Don’t fucking put yourself in a position where you can get bit. You’re fuckin smarter than that.” He had gently grabbed your forearm then, twisting it around to see where the glass was before he looked up at you.

The moonlight softened your features and casted an alluring glow. For a moment, he glanced down at your lips. They were cracked in some places from the elements and he knew you had a nasty habit of picking the skin off your lips from anxiety. Despite that, the urge to kiss you was brewing deep in his gut. Whether he would fall into the trap of his emotions, was all up to him.

“Squeeze my hand if it starts to hurt, alright? Those shards are pretty deep so I'm gonna have to dig them out.” He spoke calmly.

You appreciated his honesty in that moment and didn’t hesitate to grab his hand. Not because you were concerned about the pain, but because you wanted an excuse to be closer to Joel Miller in the moment. Your smaller hand gently grasped his calloused one, interlocking your fingers as he pulled the first shard out, causing you to hiss under your breath from the sudden pain.

He liked the way your hand felt in his, your skin wasn’t nearly as rough and worn as his. Your fingers were delicate and your palm was warm. He found himself subconsciously rubbing the outside of your hand with his thumb in slow, gentle movements.

Joel Miller cared for you and it terrified him.

The next few shards were easier to pull out and he laid the discarded pieces on what was left of your flannel.

“I’m sorry for yellin at ya the way I did.” He finally spoke. “I just, seein’ the clicker on you like that..hearin’ Ellie’s screams.” He took another deep breath.

“I’m not good at this kinda shit.” He admitted. “If you would have fuckin died back there, I don’t know what I would have done. I can’t–I can’t lose you darlin. I wouldn’t be able to go on after that. The fuck would I have to live for?”

You were in shock. Joel Miller had never once opened up to you in this way. He was a man of few words but you could sense his vulnerability and you wanted to nurture it.

“Joel,” You spoke softly.

“Joel, look at me, please.” You squeezed his hand then, meeting his gaze which appeared to be much softer.

“You have Ellie to live for Joel. You would have to go on for her and you and I both know that.”

He didn’t want to admit that you were right. Losing you would be too much for him. He had already lost Tess, Sarah. Losing you would be the end for him.

“No, you don’t get it, do ya? You mean something to me. Fuck. You mean so much to me. All I do is fail Ellie. I failed you both today. I should have gotten that clicker. I was too slow. It's my fault.”

You slowly scooted yourself closer to him then, releasing your hand from his grip before you hesitantly grabbed his face, feeling his patchy stubble tickle your palms. You held Joel Miller’s face like your life depended on it. For a moment, neither of you spoke. The closeness was suffocating for you both. You swore you could hear Joel’s rapid heart beating against his rib cage. Beating for you.

You slowly dragged your finger along his skin, letting your thumb brush the scar above his right eyebrow, a permanent reminder of the first time you met. A ghost of a smile graced Joel’s face and your heart skipped a beat at the sight of his dimple.

“Joel, you fuckin listen to me and you listen to me good.”

“I promised Tess that I would protect you and Ellie. I promised her that I would take care of you, Joel. I don’t break those promises. If something were to happen to me, you have to promise me that you’ll carry out her final wish. You have to promise me, please Joel.”

His hands slowly came to wrap around your wrists and for a moment, you thought he would push you away. Instead, he slowly brought his hand to your cheek. He had wanted to feel your skin for so long now. He had dreamt about it. His thumb lightly brushed against your lower lip and he felt you suck in a harsh breath from the contact. He brushed away a bit of dried blood and dirt from your cheekbone as he searched your eyes, seeing the fear in them.

“I promise I will protect Ellie, darlin. My one condition is that you promise me that you’ll continue to fight like hell. Please, if you’re gonna die, you better do it in style.”

You fucking giggled. Joel fucking Miller made you giggle and it was pure music to his ears. He had never heard your laugh before and now that he had gotten a taste, he wanted more.

“Alright, alright, cowboy, If I die, I promise, I will go out in style. I swear to it.”

Your noses had brushed against each other in that moment, your lips were so fucking close that he could taste your breath on his skin.

“I’m going to lose my fuckin mind darlin if I can’t kiss you right now.” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud. It was an inner thought that turned into word vomit and he immediately panicked.

“Shit–that wasn’t..I– that was supposed to stay in my head and if it makes you–”

His ramblings were cut off by your lips pressing to his in a searing kiss. His thoughts were drunk on you the second he got a taste, he knew he was done for. His eyes slowly fluttered shut as he gently hoisted you into his lap in one swift moment. Using one hand to gently cup the back of your head while the other was firmly grasped around your waist. The kiss was slow, you were both savoring each other before the desperation kicked in and you were clawing at one another’s clothes before Joel pulled away, his eyes wild, lips swollen from you and his hair tousled.

“We can’t.” He breathed out “I want to but I have to finish cleaning your wounds. There’s still that gash I have to stitch up for ya..”

You surprised yourself and him when you let out a frustrated groan. All these years of pining after this hardened man, had you feeling desperate and he had no idea just how badly you had wanted him. You kissed him once more before placing two kisses against his jaw and reluctantly slid out of his lap. “We’re finishing this later, Miller.” You spoke with a lazy grin.

He looked at you with a knowing smirk as he pulled the thread and needle out of the first aid kit.

“Course we are darlin, can’t have you sleepin alone after tonight.”

Joel was incredibly gentle as he stitched the gash on your forearm up. He watched your face for any signs of discomfort but you were a fuckin trooper. Once he finished, he gently wiped the area down with the wash rag, making sure there was no dried blood or dirt left before he wiped the residue from your face. Stealing a couple kisses here and there because he just couldn’t help himself.

“That wasn’t my first near death experience.” You suddenly spoke as he packed the medical supplies up and a short nod of his head reassured you he was listening.

“You remember the day we first met?”

“How could I not? You threw a knife at my face with zero hesitation.” He gestured to the scar you had left.

“Glad to know you still remember that.” You smiled slightly before continuing.

“I ran into some raiders. Thought I could lose them in the cover of the forest but they were quick. Thank fuck for the rain. Then I saw you and Tess and thought it was a trap. Thought I was done for but like you said, I’m only allowed to die in style.”

“Anyway, I never have told you this before because well, my pride gets the best of me. You saved me that day Joel. You didn’t have to but you did and I never properly thanked you for it. Just don’t let it get to your head, alright? You’re already a big enough pain in my ass as it is.” You jokingly said and Joel laughed. A real fucking laugh and you could see his eyes crinkle in the corners and your heart swelled at the sight.

“You laughed mother fucker!”

“I did not! You’re mistaken, just had somethin caught in my throat. Think it was a damn mosquito or somethin.”

“Can you two shut the fuck up? Geez man, can’t a kid get some sleep around here or is it too much to ask? Get a room, you two are GROSS!” Ellie chimed in from the confines of her sleeping bag.

Joel laughed again.

“Sorry, kiddo. We’ll use our inside voices, alright?”

Ellie stuck her middle finger up in response.

“Damn.” He said. “She’s somethin ain’t she? She gets the swearin from you, I’m sure of it. Who woulda thought that a tiny thing like you would have such a mouth to her huh?”

You lightly punched his shoulder then before pulling him in for another kiss.

“You like when I swear, Miller.”

“That I do darlin, that I do.” he mumbled against your lips.

After having a small portion of food, Joel invited you into his sleeping bag. He wanted to hold you for a while till he would have to take the first watch. He loved how you fit in his arms so perfectly. He loved how you nuzzled your face into his shirt, breathing in his scent with a smile on your face. He rested his chin against the top of your head, looking up at the vast expanse of stars above and for a brief moment, Joel Miller was happy. He was so fuckin happy that you were his and if he were to die that night, at least his last moments would be with you, here in his arms were he felt like he was home. You were his home. You and Ellie were the two people worth saving. He saved you both. He protected you. Keeping you and Ellie safe is what kept his heart pumping, his feet moving and his lungs filled with air. God help any mother fuckers who would stand in his way.

CHAPTER 1 :

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