#joel miller x tess servopoulos | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seventeenpins · 4 days

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knock him down a peg

pairing: QZ!Joel x F!Reader x Tess

word count: 4.4k

summary: A follow up to Never Pegged You For A Quitter. After a raid gone wrong, Joel's been acting out. Cue an attitude adjustment. Inspired by this ask! 🩷

content/warnings: threesome, pussy eating, anal fingering, Tess is 'daddy', sub!Joel, fucking with a strap-on, reader is injured, Tess is protective af about reader, Joel nuts a frankly concerning amount, references to fisting, Tess slaps Joel

a/n: uhhhh i've been working on this for MONTHS but i think it's finally ready?? shoutout to my co-writer @ozarkthedog without whom this wouldn't exist -- thank you for letting me scream about all of my horny Tess thoughts, helping me organise my brain, giving me about a million good ideas, and encouraging me the whole way thru, and to @sp00kymulderr for giving me the fic title (did you know you did that?? you did. thank you!!)

The three of you had been planning for weeks; maps spread out across the kitchen table. Packs filled with ammo and food and product. It was an immaculate plan, every variable accounted for.

It still went tits up.

Just that morning, FEDRA had changed patrol routes altogether, so your route out wasn't clear anymore. It was no matter, you'd figured. You could head south, through the old high rises, and hook around.

That's when you discovered why FEDRA changed their routes.

Swarms of infected like you'd never seen them had flooded the buildings, hissing and flailing and scrambling towards you. Tess nearly got bit. And then once you made your drop and collected your payment, you had to go back through again.

Tess and Joel had taken the rear, and you'd gone ahead, ending up face-to-face with a slimy FEDRA lackey who took all of the cards you had on you, half your new product, and still put you in lockup for three days.

All in all, bad.

Arguably better, though, than the noose.

Tess had been waiting for you when you got out and scanned over you as you limped your way out. Your shoulder had been dislocated, but she'd reset it as soon as you were let outside, cussing out the disinterested agents who were watching you, telling you to breathe deep and setting it on two when she made you count to three.

Now, you’re home, sat across from Tess, hissing as she dabbed iodine on the oozing cut beneath your eye. There was a gash on your abdomen that was just shallow enough to avoid the need for stitches. Small miracles. You watched her scan over you, head-to-toe, as if you were hiding some extra life-threatening wound that neither of you knew about yet. Her concern was firm and fierce; never sweet words, but warm hands and a careful touch.

Joel, however, wasn't handling things well. He was pacing back and forth, dangerously quiet. He wore a mean scowl, and his eyes were nearly black with fury. You could see all of his tells; the clench of his jaw, the flash of his eyes, the way his fingers twitched nervously and he refused to make eye contact with you.

The more he paced, the more Tess tensed till suddenly she snapped.

"Sit the fuck down, Joel. You're not helping, pacing like that," she scolded. He practically growled in response.

"It was fuckin' reckless," he spat, "Shouldn't've let her go ahead."

"Her?" you scoff, "We all decided I should go ahead. Someone's gotta do it, and I'm as much a part of this as you are."

He glowered.

"You think you're some kinda savior?” Your shoulder smarts, and the more Joel talks, the more you want to smack him. “Gotta protect me, is that it?"

“You’re more important here,” he argues, punctuating his point by jabbing his finger towards you, “Plottin’ out the routes, trackin’ product, inventory-”

“Joel-” Tess interrupts, “You know as well as I do that she’s been doing this just as long as we have. You wanna know why you weren’t the one going ahead?”

The guard dog reels, as if he didn’t know his place and his role were calculated. As if it weren’t something Tess would ensure.

“You’re talkin’ bout reckless? You’re the one getting reckless, Joel,” Tess hisses.

“It shouldn’ta gone like that-”

“Shit’s gonna go bad, sometimes. But we’re all here. We’re all okay.”

Joel huffs a sigh. “We nearly weren’t.”

Tess ignores him. “And you think being a martyr, putting yourself in danger ahead of us is gonna help us in the long run?”

“If I’d been up front-”

“If you’d been up front, right now we’d be cleaning your oozing face. Maybe you’d have some broken ribs, too.”

“But-”

“Nah. Shut the fuck up, Miller.”

Joel scoffs, nostrils flaring. Shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

The eye roll–that’s the final nail in the coffin.

Tess glowers. “You’d better fix your fuckin’ attitude, Joel, or I’ll fix it for you.”

He grinds his jaw, glaring at you both in turn.

But then Tess sees it; the way he’s starting to get hard in his jeans. You see it too, and you start to notice other things; the flush of his cheeks, his pupils dilated, blown black.

“Oh-,” Tess smirks and turns to you, “Look at that, baby. Looks like he wants a little attitude adjustment.”

You expect him to fire back, make some quip, talk some shit. Instead, he looks ahead. He avoids making eye contact with either of you. A deer in headlights.

“C’mon, Joel.” Tess soothes, stepping forward to rub small circles on his hips, holding and settling him with a surprisingly gentle touch. "Instead of letting you be a stubborn jackass, maybe we oughta fuck some good sense into you.”

Joel doesn’t groan, he just lets out a breath. You do groan.

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten how to be good for us,” she taunts.

You’ve been on the receiving end of Tess’s mean streak before and it’s embarrassing how immediately it excites you. Whenever you think about it, your stomach flips and you have to actively restrain yourself from rubbing your thighs together. Her voice was then as it is now–gleeful and mocking. She made sure you learned your lesson- you fucked up, so now I gotta teach you how to act right.

The last time you’d seen her like that, the night had ended with your ass on fire, covered in raised handprints. Painful indents of bite marks bruised beautifully up along the insides of your thighs, and you’d come so many times you nearly passed out. These days when you touch yourself, you’re thinking of that; how Tess must’ve been wrist deep, fucking her whole fist into you as she opened her mouth, tongue ready and waiting, grinning when your release splashes her face and drips down her chin, telling you, “Now that’s better, baby.”

Now, fully back in the moment, you’re looking at her and you can see the fire in her eyes. Tess grabs you by the collar, kissing you hard. It’s a dizzying few moments as she licks into your mouth, tongue hot and sweet. You love how she tastes.

When she pulls away, you’re breathless and she’s smirking.

“Take a seat, honey,” she tells you, and pushes you back. You stumble and land in the armchair behind you. Then she turns to Joel. “You,” she fixes him with a stern glare, “No touching. Behave.”

She exits the room. You and Joel are left in silence.

You don’t know exactly what Tess has in mind, but you’ve got a pretty good idea.

Joel watches you, wordless. You can feel the energy, the urgency vibrating out from him, but he says nothing. Barely moves. Tess has him trained well.

You unbutton your jeans and lower your zipper. Shimmy them down your hips, past the swell of your ass, and kick them off.

There’s a sharp intake of breath, and you know Joel’s just noticed you’re not wearing any underwear. You recline back, letting your legs spread. Letting him see every part of you.

The wound on your abdomen is hot, a burning pulse. Your shoulder aches. Your jaw stings. You’re pretty sure your face is a swollen, puffy mess, especially where the gash beneath your eye still weeps, and there are bruises in the shape of handprints all down your arms.

You need to feel good. Not broken or disregarded, and certainly not made to feel inadequate. You’d gotten your ass handed to you. Now, you need to indulge in some of your more hedonistic pleasures. And, you want to torture Joel, just a little.

Hoping Joel’s watching, but refusing to look up to see, you start to trace along your body. Your fingertips brush your lips first, trailing down your chin, your throat, your collarbone. It’s grounding. Assessing. You need to know what will make you feel good and what will cause you pain.

Slowly, you follow down your shirt, taking a moment to pinch your nipples, tracing a path along your belly, and then to the thatch of curls between your thighs.

You hear a restrained breath, and now you know Joel’s watching. You cup your mound, feel your own heat in your hand. You don’t want to go too far, don’t want to really start before Tess is back, but there’s no harm in warming yourself up.

A few minutes later, as you’re stroking your cunt, feeling yourself start to drip, she walks back in.

What a fucking sight to behold. Her own shirt is unbuttoned, harness secured at her waist and thighs, the firm silicone cock hanging heavy between her legs. She’s beautiful, breasts unconstrained by any bra, nipples hard, and legs so toned. She looks at you, your naked self, and her scowl softens.

She turns to Joel. “Now, that’s a good girl, huh? Look at that.”

Joel says nothing, just grunts a vague noise of affirmation.

Tess raises a brow. “Really, Joel?” she admonishes, “You had plenty to say earlier.”

He’s grinding his jaw, has been grinding his jaw for a while. You start to gingerly pull the shirt you’re wearing off and over your head, and Tess leans down to help, taking care to avoid your fucked up shoulder, all your cuts and bruises.

“This is what’s gonna happen,” she tells Joel, “I’m gonna fuck our girl, and you’re gonna watch. If you’re good, then we’ll fuck you, too. Got it?”

Joel grumbles an affirmation, but Tess is sick of his avoidance. She rounds on him, closing the space between them in only a few steps, and slaps him hard on the cheek.

“-The fuck, Tess.” Joel growls, and he’s mad now, “Goddammi-”

She smacks him again. “This isn’t a negotiation, Joel. You can leave if you want,” her eyes glance down to where his cock strains painfully against the fly of his jeans, “But I’m guessing you want to stay here and play with us.”

Finally, Joel looks at her. Directly at her. It’s like staring at the sun.

“Yes,” he admits, “I want to be here.”

“Good boy.”

Now, her attention turns on you. “How’re you feeling, baby?” she asks.

“Better every minute,” you grin up at her, fingers lazily swirling around your clit as you let yourself feel.

“Let me see,” she commands, and you let her spread your legs, opening your thighs wide as she examines your glistening cunt. She nearly gasps when she takes a look. “Oh, baby,” she praises, “Look at you-”, and it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard.

It feels so vulnerable, having Tess on her knees in front of you, looking at you bare. She breathes in deeply, groaning as her nostrils fill with the smell of you. The vulgar eroticism sends another surge of arousal through you and you’re almost embarrassed at how much it makes you drip.

Gently, she presses an exploratory middle finger against your opening and hisses out a breath when she slips in easily.

She turns her wrist, twisting the digit, letting you feel the width of her fist pressing against your mound. The pressure against you is delicious. It obsessed you, every time you considered it; the way she can make every time feel like the first time. You could never get bored. She’s a force.

You want to taunt her or tease her, rile her up just a little more. You love her rough side. But you know she wouldn’t go for it, the state you’re in, and besides–you’re tired, and the way she’s fingerfucking you feels so goddamn good you can’t even think of a single thing to say.

She goes from stroking your folds and covering you with your own slick, to slipping her ring finger in with her middle. It’s an easy glide, too, and she starts pumping the digits, thumb hard against your clit as she works you open.

“God damn,” she groans, “All beat up and you’re still fuckin’ gushing for me, pretty girl.”

The pressure is overwhelming but you want to endure, need to endure. That doesn’t, however, stop your body from writhing and shaking, and the combination of her words and her ministrations, you know Tess feels how hard you’re clenching around her, feeling yourself get too close, too fast. She winks at you before turning back to Joel.

“C’mon over here,” she beckons him. He obeys, kneeling down beside her. She leans over and narrates. “Look at how she’s taking my fingers. Barely any resistance. Slipped right in, see how wet she is for me?”

Joel hums in acknowledgement, something between a sigh and a growl.

“Good thing she’s this wet already,” she tells Joel, nodding at the strap between her legs, “Otherwise you might have to suck it first-”

His growl turns into something like a whine, desperate and beautiful. You know more than most how much effort he’s putting into not allowing himself to speak. How he must really be desperate to get fucked if he’s restraining himself like this.

“And we know that’s not a punishment for you, don’t we?” She swats him on the cheek, “We all know how much Joel Miller loves suckin’ cock, huh?”

She’s not wrong. His eyes somehow grow darker, and you’re so focused at watching his reactions that you barely even register Tess spreading your legs even further apart till the head of her cock presses against your drooling cunt, and she slides the entire length in, bottoming out in a single smooth thrust.

“JESUS, Tess,” you cry out.

She just grins and holds you by the waist. “Hold on tight baby,” she tells you, “I know you can take all this and then some.”

After a few restrained thrusts, she finds her rhythm and starts fucking you. The initial sensation of being filled starts to wane, and you swear your pussy is a starving entity of its own. It wants and it wants and it wants.

The ache is so good, and she’s deep, too. It’s a perfect balance of pleasure and pressure. With each cant of her hips, you sink further into a blinding euphoria. It’s exactly what you need.

“Taking me so fucking good,” she praises, “Like you were made to take me. Goddamn, baby, you’re dripping like a faucet.”

“Needed this so bad-” you mumble, “Fuck, Tess, I need you-”

“You got me, baby,” she promises, “You got me, I’ll give you anything you need.”

Every word is punctuated by another thrust.

“Tell me what you need, honey.”

“Faster,” you gasp, “Please, Tess, need it faster-”

With a growl, she shifts you, pulls out for a moment and grabs you by the legs. She drags you further down the chair but rests the back of your calves on her shoulder before plunging the strap back in, deeper and rougher than before.

You wince a little, the tender part of your belly stinging, and she notices immediately. Rearranges you, just a little.

When she slides back in, the pain is gone. Only pleasure remains.

“See?” Tess snarls, “She knows how to be good, huh?”

Still holding your legs with one arm, she wraps the other around you and lands a hard smack on your ass, grinning when she feels you gush around her again.

You buck and writhe, and you know you have the stupidest grin plastered across your face.

She makes you dizzy.

“That’s it, baby,” she tells you. “So good, telling me what you need,”

“Fuck–” you rasp, “I’m gonna cum, Tess, please-”

She keeps to the rhythm, letting her fast strokes and the snap of her hips undo you. You’re close, so fucking close, but you can see the way she’s trembling, so focused on you, you don’t think she realises she’s close to the edge too.

Now, the only thing you want is for you both to cum together.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Tess, daddy, cum in me, please–”

A strangled moan leaves her, breathless, and she fucks into you and feels the way you tighten and pulse around the cock, feels the way you drip greedily down her thighs, and that’s enough; Tess comes with you.

As you come back out of the fog, your head is giddy with bliss. You’re tangled up, sweaty, sticky skin pressed together. You hold her close as she runs her hands up and down your back, soothing you. Your breasts are pressed together like a jigsaw puzzle, and the thought is silly, but it’s true.

The strength of your orgasm has knocked you numb, and it takes several moments for your vision and hearing to come back fully. Tess seems to be in the same boat, because it’s at the same time that you both hear it.

Slick squelches. Soft moans.

You both look over at the same time. Tess’s jaw drops. You feel another surge of arousal run through you as you focus on Joel.

“I’m- I’m sorry, honey,” he tells you, “Shouldn’t’a acted like that.”

You barely register his words. Instead, you watch how he’s stripped down near completely, barring his socks. That should make you laugh, but his legs are lewdly spread. With one hand he’s gripping his balls, clearly trying not to touch his drooling cock. With the other, he’s three fingers deep in his asshole, moving desperately. There’s a bottle of lube nearby and you can see its contents dripping down his wrist as he pumps his fingers hard and fast into his aching hole.

Tess looks stuck between telling him off for touching himself, and wholly impressed by his dedication to preparation.

“Well I’ll be damned,” she laughs, incredulous, “Someone’s eager.”

She’s still inside you, and you can feel another rush of your cum drip down the strap. An idea strikes you.

“Fuck him with it,” you tell her, looking down at the thick silicone as she glides out of you, “Fuck him with it, while it’s still dripping with me.”

Tess moves a hand to her breast, pinching and flicking at her own nipple, practically growling at your words. She stares at you for a moment. Then back to Joel.

He’s lost for words, too, it seems. He looks absolutely wrecked. His fingers are still buried deep, but they’re not moving anymore. Focus on the motion is forgotten, he’s just fixed on you both, eyes darting between you, waiting for a decision, any decision, to be made.

“Honey,” she smirks at you, “Why don’t you move over to the head of the bed there, that’s a good girl.”

You get up and scoot back, snorting a laugh as she swats at your ass while you rearrange yourself so your back is against the headboard.

“Spread those legs,” she orders. “Mmm yes, that’s it. My good fucking girl-”

She turns to Joel. “What a nice view, huh?”

Your lips are puffy and used, shining with slick. The room smells like sex, heavy and intoxicating.

“I think you’d better clean up the mess I made of her,” she gestures towards you and Joel doesn’t hesitate. “Hands and knees, Miller.”

He moves from his seat, crawling up the bed, wrapping his hands around your thighs and spreading them further.

The first stroke of his tongue feels like coming home. The hot, wet pass of it is intoxicating, and you’re already so sensitive you don’t need any focus on your clit to feel the build clutch at you again already.

“Good boy,” Tess praises him. He growls into you, the strokes of his tongue growing wider and faster, drinking up every drop of you.

He pulls away for only a moment. “Fuck me, Tess, please-”

“You focus on her and you’ll get what you need,” she promises, “But you’d better move fast, Texas.”

He sighs, but glances up at you. He nods, more weight to it than you’d expect, before he runs another lick up your cunt.

You shudder at the sensation, your legs turning to mush again. His calloused hands scrape against your thighs as he holds them apart, nuzzles at your pussy, dives back in, alternating between licking and sucking.

There are many things that can be said about the man worshiping between your legs, but no one could ever say he eats pussy with anything less than religious devotion.

He nibbles gently in a way that devastates, knocks you back and wears you down. Once you’ve hit one peak it doesn’t take you long to hit the next, and he has you on the edge so damn fast you’d feel embarrassed if you didn’t also feel so fucking good.

“Fuck,-” you breathe, “Fuck, Joel-! Can’t fucking stop coming- Fuuuckkk–!”

He blinks, dark brown eyes gazing up at you as he continues, relentless, barely impeded by the way your body is convulsing from the overwhelm of sensation.

You shudder on his mouth, legs shaking, involuntary whimpers turning into something more like panting whines and moans. You’re pretty sure the entire building can hear you. You really don’t care.

Tess has been watching the whole time, smirking but silent. Now she lines up her still-wet cock against his slick hole.

“Y’ready, Miller?” She asks, and you feel yourself melt at the tenderness of it. You fall in love just a little bit more, every time you see her soft.

He grunts an affirmation. His mouth is still on you but his movements slow and he buries his nose between your folds, nudging at you gently as Tess presses the head of her cock to his slick hole. The most beautiful whine slips out his mouth, reverberating against your cunt. You can feel the way his entire body moves, pressing up into you, as she lets herself loose, thrusting shallowly at first before snapping her hips in longer, deeper strokes.

With one particularly brutal thrust, he knocks forward. The curve of his nose hits against your clit and you come again with a shriek, soaking his face as he takes everything she gives him.

You’re worn out, spent and satisfied. You clutch him by the hair and yank him off of you, and now his moans aren’t muffled anymore.

He keeps his head between your thighs, breathing in your scent as the cum on his face cools and starts to dry. He’s loud, whining and grunting, taking Tess’s cock like it’s his only purpose.

“Fuck, Tessa-” he sobs, the heat of his breath on your used-up cunt. “Feels- so fucking- good.”

“Feels real fuckin good, don’t it?” she echoes, rhythm never ceasing, “Lettin’ your daddy fuck you like this.”

“Uh huh.”

“You wanna be good for me, say thank you?”

“I-” His words come out stilted, punctuated by each thrust. “Yes-”

“Say thank you, Daddy.”

“Thank- Thank- you- daddy-” he chokes.

“Thank you for what?” you prompt, and Tess grins. Joel looks up at you with a flash of something that could be fury or hunger.

“Thank you-” he hisses, “Thank you- daddy- for teaching me a lesson-”

“Good boy,” she soothes, “Say ‘thank you daddy, for teaching me how silly and childish I’ve been.’”

“Thank you daddy,” he echoes, “For teaching me how silly I’ve been. How childish. Ain’t been actin’ right. Not to you honey-” he presses a gentle kiss to the inside of your thigh. Closes his eyes when he speaks to her. “Not to you either, daddy.”

“You feelin good, baby?” she asks him.

He breathes out a shudder. “Feels so fucking good, but–”

“But?”

“Need more. Need to be touched.”

“Poor baby,” Tess pouts, “I’m afraid we can’t do that.”

He whines, but nods.

“But since you’re taking this lil attitude adjustment so well, I suppose we can let you cum. That sound alright to you honey?”

“Sure,” you beam, “He can rub himself up against the mattress if he likes. Cum just like that.”

“Mmm yeah,” Tess agrees, “You able to cum from rutting up against the bed?”

“Yes- yes anything, please-”

“Love it when he begs,” you sigh and Tess hums in affirmation.

She presses him down, keeps her cock in him as she knocks him so he’s flat on the bed, legs splayed, swollen dick rubbing against the covers as she holds him by the hips.

This whole time, she’s kept a steady pace. Not quite brutal, but certainly not leisurely. You see the way his own hips rock as he humps the bed, trying to find an angle that’ll give him the release he needs.

“I’m- fuck, I’m getting close Tessa– Gonna fuckin cum–”

“Good,” she smacks him hard and watches the flesh of his ass shake deliciously from the blow.

The masochist he is, it’s all he needs to tumble over the edge.

He comes with a shout, cum painting the bedsheets and pooling on the fabric, coating his stomach, his cock, his balls. Tess is still inside him, still hitting his prostate with every stroke, and it strengthens his orgasm to a point of almost overwhelming intensity. After a few moments, you’re not sure if he’ll ever stop coming, the amount of it verges on concerning as the pool of cum threatens to trickle over the edge of the bed.

Finally, his orgasm comes to an end, and Tess’s thrusts slow.

They both reel back, panting, Tess pulling out gently and Joel whimpering at the loss of sensation.

“Good boy,” she tells him, unbuckling the harness and letting the strap fall to the floor.

“Fuuuuuckkkkkk-” he sighs, and you giggle. His eyes snap up to you, but he’s laughing too.

He shakes his head and starts to peel himself up from the sticky mess he’s made. “Sorry I’m such a jackass.”

“Eh,” you shrug, “We know you’re a jackass.”

He nods, considering.

“And–” Tess joins in, “We know how to set you straight.”

He snorts.

“Just– I know you were scared out there,” you tell him, and he must’ve been fucked real good because he doesn’t even try to argue. “We’re always gonna have close calls. But we’re in this together, yeah? Don’t shut me out just because you’re afraid.”

He’s silent for a moment. Then nods at you.

“Okay, honey. And- thank you, Tessa. You know how t’ keep me in line.”

“Anytime, Texas,” she grins.

You get up and turn on the shower. The rest of the day, you’ll get clean. You’ll rest. You’ll let your aching bones start their healing. Just over the sound of the shower spray, you hear Tess speaking to Joel; “Now, unless I’m much mistaken, it’s your turn to change the sheets-”

#joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #tlou #joel miller x tess servopoulos #tess servopoulos x f!reader #tess servopoulos x reader #save me daddy tess #daddy tess save me

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corazondebeskar-reads · 4 months

Text

ain't no rest for the wicked - chapter two

ain't no rest for the wicked series

two: trouble will find you

series masterlist | prev chapter | next chapter

Tess Servopoulos x f!reader x Joel Miller

words: 6.9k

summary: After weeks of nothing, you finally hear from Tess and Joel again.

warnings: dark-ish Joel and Tess, smuggler!Joel, smuggler!Tess, boston QZ, QZ life, bittersweet ending/no happily ever after, poorly negotiated d/s-style dynamics, poor communication, enthusiastic consent, oral sex (m & f receiving), p in v, degradation, face slapping, pussy slapping, spanking, stalking, canon-typical violence, threesome, cum eating, light rope bondage, shower sex

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

Weeks go by, and nothing weird happens. You can’t say you aren’t disappointed, but they didn’t say it was going to be a repeat thing. They definitely implied it, sure, but you could be cool about it.

So you had the best orgasms of your life with two of the most unhinged people you’ve ever met. Who needs hinges, anyway? And why do people say unhinged?

Wait, does it mean open? Like they’re unhinged because they have no door? Because, in that case, they’re two of the most hinged people you’ve ever met.

God, you miss when you could ask Google. Or Yahoo. Or Jeeves. Man, the internet was so cool. You bet your fucking Neopets are dead.

By the time you circle back and decide that you’re pretty sure unhinged does not mean open, you’ve autopiloted home.

You turn the key until it clicks and push open the door to your flat. At first glance, there’s no explanation for the way the world seems tilted just so.

Except for the little folded scrap of paper on your shitty rusted table. When you pick it up, something garishly yellow flutters to the ground.

It’s unmistakably a sunflower petal. It’s winter. Where the fuck—

No. Nope. You do not want to follow that thought; you want to let it fuck right off.

You rub the petal between your fingers. It’s so sinfully soft, there’s no doubt in your mind that it’s real.

The paper just says “tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. Tomorrow what? Tomorrow when?

When you open your cabinet to grab a can of soup, the first can you pick up rattles. It also doesn’t have a lid, so. There’s that.

You groan out loud. If you don’t look and just put it back, will it disappear into the other dimension from where it came?

In the end, you peek anyway, and yep. Sunflower seeds. Baked and salted, from the smell.

The implications are unsettling. In their minds, are you cannibalizing yourself at their whim? Are you consuming yourself in a pursuit of pleasure?

Are you really fucking overthinking it?

Tomorrow. For cripes sake. There’s no way you sleep tonight.

Except once you’ve had your soup and nibbled away at most of the sunflower seeds, your full belly lures you into the quiet of the night.

You’re nearly as jittery at work as you were the first time. Granted, you’re a little less afraid of them and more anxiously excited, but the thought of them sends your leg bouncing.

Your chair squeaks the whole time.

“Hey Sam,” you say as casually as possible to your deskmate.

“What?” He says warily.

“Do you know where I could get a horseshoe?”

“A… what?”

“A horseshoe, you know, like horses wear.”

“A singular horseshoe? Do I even want to ask why?”

“Yeah, just one. And no, probably not? Let’s say I’m just really into country chic decor right now.”

Sam turns back away from you.

Typical.

You’re getting ready to leave when you realize you don’t actually remember their address. You’re pretty sure you could find the right building since you walked yourself home, but there’s an uncomfortably large margin of error.

Also, the stupid note didn’t give a time. Should you go home first? Maybe they’ve broken in again to leave a little clue?

You’re saved from figuring it out when you find Joel in exactly the same place as before. You don’t startle this time—you’d peeked around the corner on purpose.

“Hi,” you say, fingers wrapping around your backpack straps.

“Hi.” It’s brusque and he’s scowling, doesn’t even look at you.

“I-I could have walked over. I don’t wanna inconvenience—“

“You’re not. I don’t want you walkin’ by yourself.”

“Ok.” You kind of wish Tess was there. You like Joel fine, but she’s at least a little more talkative. Even if everything out of her mouth throws you off center.

Actually, this is probably fine. Maybe you’ll still have your wits about you when you get there.

He keeps a little distance ahead. Not enough to lose you in the crowd but enough that it almost looks like you aren’t following him. Like he doesn’t want to be seen with you.

You don’t have hurt feelings. It’s fine. People might think he was cheating on Tess, you get it.

Whatever the fuck they were doing with you was certainly not cheating.

Tess is already in the kitchen when you get there. Joel hovers in the living room until you head in, like he thinks maybe you’ll snoop through the apartment if he doesn’t keep watch.

You’re not that stupid. That’s a fucking death wish.

She’s cleaning a pan. Joel grumbles at her about leaving it for him, and she rolls her eyes while he pulls out your chair.

You remember this, at least, and manage not to make a fool out of yourself.

Tess dries her hands and sits down across from you. “Hey, sunflower. You miss us?”

You burn up immediately, wishing it were literal. It’s like she knows you’ve had fingers stuffed up your cunt every night, remembering how they felt. How you buried your face in the pillow and wished it was the soft folds of her.

She chuckles. “Don’t worry, we missed you too. We’ll show you how much later.”

Joel sets hot plates down in front of you both, followed by glasses of water, before he takes his own seat.

You wonder if this is a special production or if they’re letting you see their natural domesticity.

If you thought dinner last time was a delicacy, nothing could have prepared you for this.

The slab of meat is unmistakably pork and rests on a bed of baked apple slices beside yellow squash and pale zucchini rounds.

You look up from your plate with wide eyes.

“Best not to ask,” Joel says.

You nod. This time, you go slow, savoring each bite. It can’t be real, you think. It can’t really be yours.

But they let you eat everything on your plate. No one snatches it away or scolds you for touching something you don’t deserve. Tess seems downright pleased when you set your fork down for the last time.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You finally blurt.

Tess quirks an eyebrow. “Thought we made ourselves clear last time. When you’re here, you’re ours.”

“And we take care of what’s ours,” Joel says. When you snap your head to look at him, his eyes are dark and narrowed. Like he’s angry at the insinuation that they wouldn’t.

“O-okay,” you say, fixing your gaze back on your plate.

He stands up and clears the dishes, piling them in the sink.

Tess takes you by the hand and leads you out of the room. You expect her to stop at the couch again, but she takes you into what must be their shared bedroom.

Joel shuts the door behind him when he comes in. The room is warm and dark, the winter sun having retreated for the day already.

They don’t give you a moment to work yourself up. Tess is already kissing you as she walks you back to the bed. Instead of pushing you into it like you expect, she tugs you to a stop when your knees run into the mattress.

Her mouth moves down your neck as she easily discards your clothes. You shrink a little, and she tugs on your hair, forcing your head back so you look her in the eye.

“No being shy, now,” she warns. “S’ours to look at anyway.”

She peels your arms away from where they had instinctually folded across your breasts. Moving to one side, she smirks at Joel.

“Look at your little pet, baby. Ain’t she pretty?”

His hand brushes the curve of your breast, barely making contact but drawing a shiver from you anyway. “Sure is. A real sight for sore eyes.” His thumb finds your nipple, and you moan, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

He pinches it, smirking when you gasp.

“You look like you got a plan,” he says to Tess.

“You want two cunts to fuck today, baby?” She says.

You can almost see the switch flip in his brain. “Yes, please, ma’am,” he says.

She presses a much chaster kiss to your lips before patting the mattress. “Hop up, sunflower. On your back, head right here.”

Once you’re situated, she tucks a pillow under your head and climbs on top of you, settling her cunt right where you need it. When you try to touch her, though, Joel stops you, catching your wrists.

“Keep ‘em by your sides, or I’ll tie ‘em down.”

Tess laughs, dragging a finger through your folds. “I think she wants you to, baby.”

He crouches down by your head. “S’that so?”

You look at him from where you’re trying to reach Tess with your mouth, but she’s lifted her hips just a little too high. You whine.

“Yes, sir.”

His grin is otherworldly, all sharp teeth and shadow. “Attagirl,” he says, patting your cheek.

His hands are gentle but competent as he binds each wrist to the bed, stretched out to the posts of the footboard. Tess sits on your face while he works, letting you overstimulate yourself between her wet cunt and his control.

Once you’re secure, she leans forward and flicks her tongue over your clit, pulling a gasp that deepens into a drawn-out moan as she continues.

You whine when she lifts her hips back up just too far for you to lick inside her. Joel grabs your hair and holds you in place, dipping his cock into your mouth.

“Get it nice and wet for her, sunflower.”

You try your very hardest to give him the sloppiest blowjob you can while being held still.

When he pulls out, he presses his balls to your mouth, and you respond with soft licks as he notches his tip at the slick entrance of Tess’s cunt.

“Lick her,” he grunts, resisting the urge to plunge in all the way.

You’re on fire. This has to be, hands down, the filthiest thing you’ve ever done, but he props the pillow up more so you don’t have to strain your neck when you lick down his cock to where he’s splitting her open.

She moans into your pussy.

He holds you there, with your tongue flat against where he pushes in deeper. When he’s buried, you flick your tongue to his balls and back.

“Suck them,” he pants, and you obey, stretching your mouth around him.

He starts to thrust gently, not wanting to jostle himself against your teeth, but he loses patience eventually and yanks you off to shove you to her clit.

You’re squirming as she works you over, three fingers deep, stretching you to get you ready for Joel. You suck and lick at her clit as she cums, meaning to lick her through it and keep going for another.

But Joel tugs you back to lick where she leaks around him.

You’re glad he tied you down. It’s all so much, almost too much, and you don’t think you could have held still. The rope’s embrace holds the last shred of your sanity.

At some point, you started whimpering against them, pleading as best you can without pulling your mouth away.

“Aw, you wanna cum?” she mocks with an affected simper.

“No,” Joel grunts, his hips snapping hard against her. “Only way she's coming tonight is on my cock.”

You sob a little bit, and she pulls back to slap your aching clit. Your hips buck, and you nearly lose the fight.

“Oh, she fuckin’ loved that, baby,” she tells him.

“‘Course she did, she’s a fuckin’ slut for us.” He says.

You moan. You think you should probably care that they’re talking about you like this. Actually, you do care. You care a lot. It’s so fucking hot.

“You’re just our little whore, sunflower?” he says.

You nod minutely with Tess’s clit pinched between your lips, and she cums again, her slick rubbing on your face with each stroke of his dick.

“Alright,” she says, tapping his hand where it grips her hip.

He pulls out and unties your wrists. Tess lets you keep lapping at her for a minute, but when you’re free, she slides off you and sprawls, languid and satisfied.

He gives you a light slap on the cheek. “Trade places.”

You sit up and lay on your stomach to the side to let Tess move to where you had been. But first, she rolls to face you and pulls you in for a deep, slow kiss.

You go to tangle your fingers in her hair, but she catches your wrist, rubbing her thumb over the ridges left behind.

“That’s enough,” Joel growls, yanking you by the ankle.

Tess laughs. “Don’t wanna be left out, baby?”

“Wanna get my fuckin’ dick back in one of ya,” he says.

She gets situated with her head down at the end of the bed and tugs at you to climb over her. You waste no time diving back into her cunt until Joel smacks you hard on the ass.

“Did I tell you to start up?”

“No, sir,” you say, voice breaking a little with desperation and a little shame.

He slaps the other side of your ass for good measure. Unlike the way he eased into Tess, he doesn’t wait to push into you.

You’re so grateful for Tess stretching you out before. His cock feels impossible. You cry out into her bush.

Your wriggle, and she holds you still with a powerful grip on your hips, licking at your clit while he shoves forward.

“That’s right. Shit,” he slaps your ass again when you squirm. “Hold still and fucking take it, girl.”

Your cries are muffled, but you’re not protesting. It’s just so fucking much.

Tess distracts you from the sting and pinch of him by gently biting your clit, which hurts a hell of a lot more but also makes you a hell of a lot wetter, ultimately easing his passage. Enough so that he slams the rest of the way in.

Your mind whites out when he starts pounding into you. Tess shifts to lick at where you’re broken open on him, and your fists tighten in the sheets.

“Please,” you whine, breaking away from her cunt only long enough to beg.

“What d’you think, baby? She been good enough for you tonight?”

He rubs his hand over the side of your thigh and hums. You hold your breath. You’re pretty sure he’s just teasing you, but it’s a fucking struggle not to cum.

“Yeah, she’s been a real good girl,” he says. “Go on, sunflower, cum on my fucking cock.”

It hurts. It hurts where you clamp down around him. It hurts where Tess is relentless against your clit. But it’s maybe the hardest you’ve ever come—you’re pretty sure you blacked out.

When the world filters back in around you, you’re laying with your head on her, giving pathetic little kitten licks to her clit. Joel’s fucking you down into her, and when he sees that you’re semi-present, he shoves your head back into her folds.

“Again,” he snarls, and your body listens. Spasms. Falls apart again.

Vaguely, you’re aware of him begging Tess and desperately asking where he’s allowed to come. Whatever they decide, he pulls out abruptly. She slips out from under you and yanks you onto your back, swinging a leg over your hip to grind against you.

You reach for her with limp arms, and she finally, finally lets you cup her breasts as Joel tugs his aching cock and warm cum splatters across your face, tits, and arms.

You don’t even hear him walk away, but he comes back a minute later with a warm, damp towel to find you scooping some of his cum into your mouth. He groans, cock twitching.

“You gotta stop that, sunflower, or I’m gonna need that mouth again.”

You look up at him with wide eyes and part your lips.

He fists his cock and looks at Tess. She’s dozing off already but nods. He cleans her first, gently wiping away incidental splatter and residue of her own pleasure from her thighs.

You wait patiently with your mouth open and he rewards you by easing gently into your throat. He’s fully hard again now.

He fills your throat easier at this angle. Well, easier for him.

“Breathe,” he says, gripping the back of your head. “That’s it, sunflower, just breathe. You’re takin’ it so well.”

He helps himself to handfuls of your breasts, rubbing and tugging at your nipples while he chases his second orgasm.

“Cum with me. Show me what a fuckin’ cumslut you are,” he grunts between thrusts.

Tess leans over close to you. “Don’t swallow, sunflower.”

He pulls out a little right as he cums to let it pool in your mouth. It’s a fucking struggle as you let your own orgasm roll over you. When he pulls out, Tess pulls you in for a kiss and shares in his spend.

Again, the fucking filthiest sex you’ve ever had. You’re not sure how you managed it, but you’re not going to voice a single damn doubt, not going to risk whatever this is.

He finally cleans you off and putters around the room, tossing the towel in a hamper and tugging his clothes back on.

“I’m followin’ her home,” he murmurs to Tess while you’re in the bathroom.

She sits up. “What happened?”

“Tell ya more when I get back. But her place is too close to the boundary, and I caught a little tip-off when I was waiting to pick her up.”

Tess frowns but by the time you come out, dressed and refreshed, they’re lounging on the bed.

“C’mere,” Tess says before you can speak or move for the door. She tugs you down to the bed. “How’re you feeling?”

“Good,” you say automatically. You’re not actually sure. Everything’s a little fuzzy; the world wrapped in a cotton ball. You may or may not be shaking a little.

“You sure you’re okay to get home safe?”

“Mhm.” Your eyes are heavy, though, and the way her nails are tracing swirls up and down your arm is making you woozy.

You must have dozed a little because Joel’s coming back in the room and you didn’t know he ever left.

He hands you a mug of tea and sets a plate on the bed beside you.

“Gotta eat something. Y’look like ya might faint on your way,” he says at your crinkled face.

You sip from the tea and close your eyes as the warmth and sweetness crawl through you. “Thank you,” you say.

Tess has you leaning against her still, and you stay that way while you eat the sandwich Joel made. As it dwindles, your awareness of the situation grows stiff and uncomfortable.

You sit up. “Thank you, but um. I better get going.” You’re only a little dizzy when you stand up.

Joel takes the dishes out of your hands. “Sure you’re alright?”

“Yep,” you lie. “So, um. Have a good night.” It feels stilted, after what you’ve all just shared, but what else do you say to your two-time hookups? You skedaddle before it can get weirder.

You would have said yes this time, you think, if he had offered to walk you home again.

It’s only a week later when there’s a knock at your door.

There’s never a knock at your door. No one visits; there’s no one to visit.

You stare at the door for a minute, sitting on your bed eating room-temperature peas out of a can with your only spoon. The noise had startled you, and now you’re going to have to launch a search and rescue mission.

It knocks again. Well. Not it, you suppose, not the door. Whoever is on the other side.

You stand up, spoon hanging from your mouth, and open it with the chain still latched.

“Y’ain’t even gonna ask who it is?” Joel snaps.

You shut it and remove the chain, opening it all the way to reveal his scowl.

“Hi,” you say through clenched teeth where they hold onto the spoon. You’ve got one hand on the door and the other on your can of peas.

“You don’t even have a peephole. What’re you doing, just opening the door for strangers?”

“You’re not a stranger.” You’ve stuck the spoon into the remaining peas so you can speak clearly.

“You didn’t know it was me.”

You step back to let him in, eyeing him as he steps through the doorway.

He narrows his eyes at you. “What? I got somethin’ on my face?”

“No,” you say, not at all suspiciously, and cringe internally when your eyes can’t help but dart up and then back to him.

He turns and looks above the door where you’ve nailed a blue plastic horseshoe. Despite his apprehension, Sam had actually found one—leftover from some children’s game.

Though now you were wondering if it was less about the horseshoe shape and more about the properties of a ferried shoe. Maybe intent? Maybe the metal? Maybe it had to have been worn by a horse? You had never really listened to your grandmama. She was just a crazy old lady.

Or at least, you thought she was. But now there are mushroom zombies, so. Who knows.

Joel looks back at you with an eyebrow raised. “Doing some decorating?”

“Uh-huh,” you mumble, trying not to feel embarrassed. Then you remember that Joel being here is the weird part of this situation. You refuse to feel weirder than that.

“So, um,” you start.

He steps closer and tucks his fingers under your chin, thumb brushing over your cheek. It’s impressive how little it takes now for your brain to shut up.

“Hi,” you squeak.

“Y’said that already, sunflower.” He takes the can from you and sets it on the counter.

“Right,” you say, feeling a little ensnared by his gaze. “You have really pretty eyes.”

To your surprise, he blushes a little. His eyes go wide and his lips part. Instead of a response, he hides his reaction by kissing you so you’re too close to see the pink of his cheeks.

He turns you so he can press you against the door, licking into your mouth and pressing a thigh between your legs. It turns hungry very quickly, and you moan, spurring him on to slide his hands up your shirt.

“Not that I—“ you try, but he doesn’t let up. “Ah—hang on,” you turn your face.

He takes it as an invitation to nip and suck on your neck. You’re still distracted, but at least you can attempt to string together a sentence.

“Not that I mind,” a gasp draws out the words, “but why-yyy are you here?”

“Wanted your advice on interior design,” he says, jerking his head to the horseshoe, “but I think I’ve changed my mind.”

“Oh, shut up,” you try to say, but he’s latched back on to the sensitive area near your shoulder that has you abandoning your train of thought.

“Need you,” he says against your skin before he breaks away to tug your shirt over your head.

You can’t argue with that. Well, you could, but why would you want to when he’s got his hands and mouth on your breasts?

He grabs and pins your wrists above your head in one hand. The other pinches at whichever nipple isn’t currently in his mouth.

“Oh fuck,” you gasp.

He smirks around his mouthful before biting down so you cry out. His fingers find the seam of your leggings, stroking over to feel you squirm.

“Please,” you whimper.

He slaps your breast. “You wanna try that again?”

“Please, sir.”

“Down.”

You sink to your knees, but he doesn’t pull his cock out right away. Instead, he cups your cheek in his hand, watching closely as your eyes flutter shut and you lean against his hand.

“You still okay with all this?” he says, immovable gruffness betrayed by a hint of genuine concern.

You nod against his hand.

He draws his hand back, and a whine from you. It’s cut off by a sharp, but clearly restrained, slap. “Words, princess.”

“Yes, sir.” It caught you off guard, but you find you like the faint sting and heat of it.

“Yeah? Even that?”

He seems serious, no hint of a smirk or glint to his eye, so you pause to consider.

“I liked it,” you decide. “Felt nice. Made me want to please you.”

Now he grins and slaps you again. It’s not hard enough to leave a mark, just enough to make you gasp.

The heat spreads through you, and your mouth falls open, eyes following his hand as it drags away from your face to grasp his length through his pants.

“See what you’ve done?” He grips your chin tight with his other hand. “Gonna take care of that for me?”

“Please, sir.”

He pops the button open on his jeans and drags the zipper down unbearably slowly. You whine, and his fingers dig into your jaw.

“Be good,” he says. He draws his cock out and gives himself a few strokes just an inch from your mouth.

You look up at him and stick your tongue out. You want to whine, but you’re afraid if you’re not good, he’ll just fuck his hand.

He releases your chin. “Go on,” he says.

You kiss the sticky tip, licking the residue from your lips before taking his cock into your mouth. You moan in tandem, and his hand finds purchase on the back of your head.

“This place is kind of a shithole,” he says, looking around your tiny cube of a home.

“Gee, tha—“

He doesn’t let you finish, shoving you back down on his cock.

He fucks into you for a while, enjoying the way you moan around him when his dick bruises the back of your throat.

When he yanks you back suddenly, you gasp for air but try to get your mouth back around him.

“No, stop,” he says. “I don’t wanna cum yet. Want your cunt.”

You whine, and he almost caves, looking at the pure hunger with which you’re regarding his swollen, angry cock.

“I said no,” he says instead, jerking your head a little.

“Sorry, sir,” you say with a sigh.

He looks over your shoulder. “Y’ain’t even got a fuckin’ bed.”

You follow his gaze to your perfectly fine mattress. “I do so!”

“That ain’t a bed, sunflower. That’s a mattress with no box or frame.”

“Wait, hang on, haven’t you been here already?”

“Nah, that was Tess who stopped by.”

“That’s a funny way to say broke in.”

He quirks an eyebrow. “You complainin’?”

You look up at the horseshoe for a moment. “Nah, I guess not.”

He looks at it, too, and back to you. “I don’t wanna know. You got a shower?”

“You hate my bed that much?”

“No, I’ve been shovelin’ ash all day. M’not gonna fuck you like this, just need to rinse off.” He should have gone home first, he knows, but going back to an empty apartment just compounds his anxiety. He took a hard labor job on purpose, hoping it would distract him from the tightness in his chest.

It’s not that he doesn’t know Tess can handle herself. He just hates it when she goes alone for a deal.

“Yeah, okay,” you say. Before you move the towel away from the bathroom door, you stomp hard a couple of times and then wait a moment before opening it.

He decides not to ask.

“C’mon,” he says, tugging you by the hand into the tiny bathroom. At least you have a combination tub, so it won’t be too tight of a squeeze.

You start the shower for him and dig around in the cabinet for a clean towel. He reaches past you and grabs another.

“Wh—I got you one,” you protest.

“Y’ain’t gettin’ in with me?”

Oh. “Oh,” you say. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“But do you want to?” he asks, suddenly very close, backing you up against the sink. His hand lingers at the side of your throat.

“Uh-huh,” you nod.

“Then get in,” he says, tugging you away from the counter and giving a smack to your ass.

You yelp and strip down as he does the same. But he stops halfway through shucking off his pants after looking at the tile where his shirt landed.

“Do you eat in here?”

“What? No.”

“There are crumbs all over the floor.”

“Oh, those’re for Estella and Georgie.”

“I don’t want to know, do I?”

“Probably not.” You pause. “On second thought, you should. They’re mice. Please don’t hurt them.”

“Estella and Georgie are mice.”

“Yeah.”

“From outside.”

“Yeah.”

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. His exasperation does not, you’d like to point out, stop him from stepping into the shower behind you.

His body cages you in, wrapping himself around you from behind. He rests his chin on your shoulder for a moment while his hands dance down each rib and over your stomach. They slide back up to your breasts, crossed to hold you against his chest while he gropes you.

You arch a little, as much as you can in his iron grip, and revel in the press of his hard cock against your ass. He groans when you roll your hips against it. You whine when he releases you, and he swats at your thigh.

“Let me get clean,” he scolds. “That was the whole point of this.”

Still, he can’t resist lathering your tits with his soapy hands and drinking the moans from your lips.

“I thought you were gonna fuck me,” you whine.

His fingers wrap around your throat and squeeze just so, sending sparks down your spine.

“I thought you were gonna be my good little girl,” he growls in your ear.

You whimper, involuntarily grinding back against him. “I want to. Please, I want to be—”

“What? Say it, baby.”

“I wanna be good,” you say.

His hand tightens until you squeak a little. “No, no, baby. Say, ‘I want to be your good little girl, sir.’”

You’re burning up. You can’t even blame the shower, because even the hottest water you get isn’t that hot. You whisper it back.

He eases up on your throat. “Can’t hear ya. Speak up.”

“I want to be your good little girl!” you blurt. “Um. Sir.”

He chuckles, dark and low, and the breath sends goosebumps skittering down your arms. “Yeah? You want to be my good girl and take my cock?” His hand slides down, almost where you need it, but he stops short of parting your lips, the tip of his finger brushing gently.

“Please,” you whine.

His middle finger dips in just enough to graze your clit. “I don’t think you want it bad enough.”

You grind back against him; a frustrated sob lodged in your throat. It slips free when he rubs a slow, gentle circle. “Please, sir. Please fuck me.”

You cry out when he pulls his hand away, but it’s only so he can push you up against the wall, hand between your shoulder blades to bend you forward. You brace yourself on the chilly cheap plastic.

He takes himself in hand and rubs the head of his cock against your slippery cunt. “I dunno. Doesn’t seem like you really want to get fucked.”

“But I’m so wet,” you protest.

“We’re in the shower, sunflower, ‘course you’re wet.”

You’re rapidly losing your grip on your sanity and also the wall, so you reach back and grab his hips, shoving yourself onto his cock. You’re not stretched enough to take it all, not even with your momentum, but the fat head of him pushes into you.

You and Joel gasp in unison, his hands tightening where they hold you, fingernails digging in. You moan, bringing your hands back to the wall as he pushes forward, voice breaking into a keen as he splits you.

He groans and grinds in deeper. “What a greedy fucking slut,” he says, having regained his senses. “Couldn’t wait, huh? You need it that bad?”

“Uh-huh,” you pant between thrusts.

“Alright,” he says, and then he stops. He holds still, buried balls-deep.

“No,” you sob.

“What?” He cracks a hand across your ass, grinning when you moan. “You want it that bad? Go ahead. Fuck yourself on my cock.”

You do. You rock yourself on it, trying to chase your pleasure on him. He grabs a fistful of your hair, to which you sputter a protest. You’d been careful so far not to get it wet.

“You got something to say?” He spanks you again. “Spit it out.”

But you’ve already forgotten about your hair, because no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to get the angle right. Your orgasm lies far out of reach.

You whine instead. “Please fuck me.”

“What’s the matter? You’re the one who helped yourself to my cock. Now ya don’t know what to do with it?”

You think you might actually cry. No, yep, tears are stinging in the corners of your eyes. You look back at him over your shoulder and hope you look pathetic enough for him to take mercy.

“Aw, baby, look at you,” he croons. “Shouldn’t have been so greedy, huh?”

“M’sorry,” you say. “M’sorry, sir, I promise I’ll be good.”

“You better,” he says, and then finally, finally shoves roughly into you.

The pace he sets meticulously takes you apart. His cock batters at you, his tight grip on your body unrelenting as he takes and takes and takes.

“So much better now, huh?” he says.

“Yes—oh fuck, s-so much. Thank you, sir.”

“Attagirl,” he moans. “Touch yourself, baby.”

You’re quick to obey, longing for his thick, calloused fingers.

But he knows that already. “See? Ya just can’t do it right yourself. Just let me make you feel good, okay?”

You’re nodding before he’s done talking. He wrenches your hand away and reaches down to pinch your clit.

“Now,” he growls. It’s a good thing, too, because you were already starting to fall apart.

He fucks you through it, and another, and another. Between the contrast of the warm water and cold wall, the brutal slap of his hips against your ass, and the dizzying pleasure, you feel fuzzy around the edges.

“Ah, fuck,” he groans. “Kneel.”

He steps back just enough to let you turn and drop to your knees. The water ricochets off his back as he plunges into your waiting mouth, and you swallow him down.

When he eases out, you’re soaked from the spray.

“Think we need to clean up again?” you say.

“Nah, why bother? I ain’t done with you yet.”

“What?” you gasp.

“Not a chance, sweetheart. Dry off and go lay on that sad little thing you call a bed for me, alright?”

It’s actually easier for him this way, he tells you with a smirk. “Ain’t gotta worry about my knees.” He’s lowered himself to the floor, with your ass perched on the end of the mattress.

Practically lounging, he’s spread your thighs to carve a space for himself, holding you as he takes his sweet time. For a goddamn eternity, all he does is kiss and bite your thighs, with the occasional soft lick to your folds. But he doesn’t dip in, doesn’t seek out your pleasure.

No, it’s very clear that this is for him. Which is not to say he doesn’t want you to feel good; he very much does. But tonight, he has the luxury of time and a comfortable angle to do whatever the fuck he wants.

You’re shaking, legs trembling, when his tongue finally nudges inside, just a quick flit of his tongue into your cunt before he drags it up to your clit.

“Please,” you sob, much like you have been. But this time, it’s different. He can tell from the way you’re squirming and clenching down.

“Give it to me,” he growls into you, and sucks at your clit until you come.

It feels like hours. There’s no way it can be, really, but he works you over again and again until you can’t take it anymore. You’re crying, real tears sliding down the sides of your face, and your hips move of their own accord in an attempt to escape.

He doesn’t let you out of it that easy. His hand comes down against your cunt before you realize he let go of your leg. And fuck, it feels good, but also, you might be dying?

“Can’t, I can’t,” you whine.

“You sure? I think you got one more in ya.”

“Fuck,” you sob.

He eases up a little, fucking you with his tongue while his fingers rub gently around your clit. When you cum, you have to bite your fist not to scream. He holds you down with a strong arm across your hips as you buck and struggle.

But he backs off as soon as you’re coming down. “Attagirl, that’s it. So good for me,” he murmurs, climbing up onto the mattress beside you.

He rolls you over into his arms and kisses your forehead, nose, and lips. “Such a good girl, takin’ everything I wanted.”

You’re limp. You think maybe he’s one of those vampires. What did they call them? Energy vampires? Or are you thinking of some kind of demon?

Anyway, you think he drained your life force out of your cunt. You can’t keep your eyes open, and your limbs are heavy. You’re sleepin’ with the fishes, you think, and giggle a little.

“You okay?” he says.

“Mhm, m’just so sleepy,” you mumble. Even your lips feel too heavy to move.

“I gotcha, sunflower; you can sleep.” He kisses your forehead again and tugs your comforter up around you both.

There’s a knock on your door for the second time in twelve hours. That’s more than the last twelve months.

You startle awake and yank the sheet up to your neck, but relax a little when you see Joel. He’s already hefted himself up and approached the door.

The knock comes again, but this time you notice there’s a pattern to it.

“Who is it?” he says anyway.

“Just me,” Tess says.

Joel unlatches the locks and lets her in.

“Thought I might find you here,” she says, low and quiet.

“You okay?” he says.

“Yeah, but I need your help with some cleanup. How’s she?”

“Good,” you whisper.

Tess does a double take. “Thought you were sleeping, sunflower.”

“Was, but people keep banging my door down today.” You yawn and for some reason, reach your arms up.

She obliges your sleepy plea, coming close enough to bend down and kiss you. “Don’t worry,” she says. “We’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay,” you agree. But something falls in your spine, something sad and heavy and taboo.

“I gotta go back out. Meet me downstairs,” she says to Joel, who’s getting his filthy clothes back on. She gives you a kiss on the forehead. “Be a good girl and go back to sleep.”

You hum your agreement and lay back down against your pillow.

Joel crouches down by the mattress. “Sorry, sunflower, we gotta get goin’,” he says, giving your cheek a brief caress.

The disappointment is there and gone so fast, he thinks maybe he imagined it. Maybe he just wanted to see it.

But it was real, much to your displeasure. You didn’t want them to think you were getting greedy, that you felt any entitlement to their time.

“Okay.”

“Need ya to lock up behind us.”

“Just turn the thingy before you close the door,” you mumble, trying to spare your poor feet the pain of the frigid floor.

The look he levels you is nothing short of furious. “You tryin’ to be funny?”

“No?”

“That flimsy little joke ain’t gonna protect you. Your hinges are too weak; anyone could kick that in. At least the deadbolt and chain would buy you a minute.”

“It’s cold,” you whine. But you know he’s right. After all, Tess got in and out without causing any damage. Hang on, though. What was that about weak hinges?

Does that make you… unhinged? You laugh out loud at your joke. Your daddy always said it was a good thing you thought you were funny, ‘cause no one else would.

He ignores it and yanks the blanket off you.

“Hey!”

“You can have it back when you get up.”

“Mean.”

“You think this is mean? I’m fixin’ to put you over my knee and change your little attitude.”

Your eyes go wide, and there’s a tell-tale heart(beat) buried beneath your panties. “You wouldn’t.”

“You damn well know I would.”

You swallow hard around the sudden ache in your throat where his cock should be.

You get up and shuffle over to him. “Alright, quit yer bitchin’. I’m here, and I will lock all the locks.”

He wraps the blanket around your shoulders. “Good girl,” he says and presses a brief kiss to your forehead. Before you even register it, he’s gone, door clacking shut behind him.

You lock all the locks and climb back in bed, but sleep doesn’t find you again.

next chapter

*title from "Trouble is a Friend" by Lenka

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #tess servopoulos x reader x joel miller #tess x reader #tess x joel #joel miller x tess servopoulos #joel miller x reader x tess servopoulos #tess servopoulos x you #tess servopoulos x reader #tess servopolous x joel miller x you #tlou smut #tlou fics #the last of us fics #the last of us fic #the last of us smut #fic: ain't no rest for the wicked

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javier-pena · 2 months

Text

in plain sight, chapter i

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader | Joel Miller x Tess Servopoulos

Word Count: 6.2k

Rating: Explicit

Summary: You’re back home in Austin for the summer and you start dating Tommy Miller, a boy you know from high school, a boy you had a crush on when you were a teenager. All you’re looking for is an uncomplicated summer fling, just some fun, until you have to go back to college in the fall. What you didn’t know is that Tommy has an older brother. And that older brother can’t keep his eyes off you right from the start …

Notes: The story of how I came up with the idea for this fic is actually very silly, so I'll spare you the details, but I will say it had something to do with a certain movie from 1978. Anyway, I'm so so excited to finally be able to share the first chapter of this!! I can't remember the last time I was this excited about a story, so that's a good sign I'll manage some semi-regular updates. I want to thank Angela @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin for answering some of my questions about Austin, and, of course, Dani @alexturner who said it'll be good for me to write a story like that 🤭

***

“Back for the summer, eh?” was the first thing Tommy said to you after the both of you hadn’t spoken in seven years.

You were standing in line at the ice cream truck, holding your niece’s hand who was jumping up and down, giddy with excitement. Tommy was driving past in his red pick-up truck, a car you’d seen around the neighborhood, unaware it was his. Hell, there wasn’t a lot of awareness where it came to Tommy Miller in the first place. You almost didn’t recognize him that early June day leaning out of the window of his truck, elbow propped up against the door, a bright smile on his face. The boy you remembered from high school, the boy you had a crush on all those years ago, looked so different. Scrawny, lanky, greasy hair, a face full of spots. Sometimes you scrolled through old photos, laughed at yourself because you had lain awake for nights, imagining how he would confess his love for you, ask you to run away with him. The man in the truck that sunny afternoon was just that … a man. His tight, stained shirt was clinging to his arms and chest, grown big with muscles over the years. His hair that used to fall into his eyes, obscuring half his face, had been cut short. His tight curls were hidden underneath a baseball cap that had the logo of a local brewery on it. His face was tan, a dark golden color; it made you do a double take, made your palm grow sweaty against your niece’s hand, embarrassed by his attention. Because surely, he had mistaken you for someone.

“Tommy?” you asked, stumbling forward a few steps when your niece yanked on your arm. “Tommy Miller?”

He laughed so hard his chest heaved. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Then he ran a hand across his sweaty brow, his dirty cheeks. “Don’t tell me I’ve aged that badly.”

Of course he asked you for your number that afternoon, and of course you gave it to him while your niece was busy with her ice cream. You scribbled it onto the palm of his hand, thinking it was a quirky, romantic gesture. It had nothing to do with the fact that you wanted to touch him. The heat of a Texan June afternoon smudged the pen so badly before he got home that evening he couldn’t decipher your number. Luckily, he knew where you lived and came by the next day with a bouquet of flowers to ask you out on a date – officially.

That date went well – more than well. He took you to the movies, to a steakhouse, to a new bar in town. He was so different from the boys you met at college; he had been to war, he had his own company that he was running with his brother, he wanted to know about you and didn’t use your time together to talk about himself and his grand plans for his professional future. You hadn’t laughed that much in a long time, hadn’t enjoyed a guy’s company that much in … well, if you were honest with yourself, you couldn’t remember ever having had that much fun with anyone. You didn’t want the night to end, and when Tommy dropped you off back home afterwards, he kissed you in his truck, then said, “Tomorrow’s my day off. Let me take you somewhere.”

You had skipped up the stairs to your parents’ porch while his truck had idled at the side of the road until you were safely inside.

What followed the next day left you hungry for more. Tommy took you hiking, then he took you to a small ranch outside Austin because you had mentioned you’d never been on a horse before, but would like to try. You stayed there until the sun had sunk beneath the horizon and a bonfire was blazing next to the barn. You drank beers and watched the stars come out. Then someone pulled out a guitar and Tommy asked you to dance. That night, you got home well past midnight, feeling like you’d been somewhere very far away.

You didn’t see Tommy for a week after that. He was busy at work. You were busy telling your friends from college about him. “Just a bit of fun for the summer,” you said. They either cheered you on, asking for the saucy details, or reacted with, “That’s so typical. Anywhere you go, men fall for you.” You didn’t let that bother you because it wasn’t true. Besides, if anyone was turning heads it was Tommy.

The next Friday, he picked you up later than usual and a broad grin spread across your face when you saw him. He had decided to grow a mustache after you’d admitted to him that you used to have a crush on this handsome teacher in college who happened to have a mustache. Tommy handled your laughter well, said, “Get in the truck, college girl,” and sped off toward an unknown destination. You felt excitement wash over you whenever you glanced over at him. Because you hadn’t been idle that week either. You were wearing a matching set of underwear, a deep red color, delicate, hiding only what was necessary. Because Tommy had admitted to you that he had a thing for women wearing nothing but high heels and lingerie. You hoped just one of those would do the trick too.

That night he took you to a small concert, just a guy with his guitar and a cream-colored cowboy hat up on a brightly lit stage. He sang about the open plains, proposing to his wife, about how women don’t want a man in a suit, they all want a cowboy. And he had a point, you thought, after Tommy dragged you off into a dark corner during a brief break and kissed you until you could hardly breathe. None of the boys at college had ever kissed you like that. For the rest of the night, Tommy was hovering by your side, finding excuses to touch you. And when the concert was over, he led you back to his truck, opened the door for you and said, “Listen, my brother is out of town this weekend. Would you like to come back to my place?”

You didn’t even make it to the bedroom. You made it to the couch in the living room where you sat pretending to be interested in polite conversation while your heart hammered against your ribcage and Tommy kept shifting, trying to hide a growing bulge in his pants. Your friends had warned you, “Don’t sleep with him before the 4th of July. The summer is still so long and he’ll lose interest.” Yeah, there was no way you’d be waiting for almost another month for this.

Tommy made the first move but only because you waited for him to make it. His hand was high up on your thigh when he leaned over you to kiss your neck, and you quickly pushed him back against the couch, straddling him, taking off your shirt. His appreciative gaze told you you had gotten it right. That he later took your panties off with his teeth was just the cherry on top.

He made you come four times that night, twice on the couch (first with his tongue, then with his cock buried deep inside of you), one time in his bed (you rode him until he pushed you off and took you from behind), and one time very softly (with his finger, just before you fell asleep). It was obvious the next morning – he wouldn’t lose interest in you and you would have the best summer of your life.

*******

A week later, you’re putting the finishing touches on your makeup when you hear the doorbell ring. This is only your third weekend going out with Tommy, but you would be lying if you said you hadn’t recognized the sound of his pick-up pulling up in front of your house. The memories from last weekend are still fresh on your mind and it makes you giddy with excitement to wonder about what he might have planned for tonight.

When you come downstairs, Tommy is sitting on the living room floor, cross-legged, while your niece is introducing him to all her toy horses. Your sister is leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, shooting you a knowing look. You ignore her. Because no matter how much fun you’re having, you’re lightyears away from thinking about Tommy as anything more than a summer fling.

“Ready?” you ask, and when he looks up at you there’s that hunger in his gaze. Self-consciously, you tug at the hem of your very short dress.

“You’re really going out in that?” your sister asks you, and you can hear the thinly veiled jealousy in her voice.

Tommy gets up, slings his arm around your waist, and places a soft kiss on your cheek. “I know I’m supposed to call you beautiful,” he mumbles into your hair, “but you look so fuckin’ hot, darlin’.”

Your face heats up at hearing that pet name. To hide how flustered you are, you tousle your niece’s hair and say, “Don’t wait up for me,” to your sister without looking at her.

The smell of Tommy’s truck engulfs you when you climb inside, and you relax against the seat. It’s funny, really, how a scent you were unfamiliar with just two weeks ago can make you feel so much at ease now. In the driver’s seat, Tommy rolls down the window and lights a cigarette before he looks back toward your house.

“Your sister, is she divorced?” he asks, fidgeting with the lighter.

“Why? You interested?” you tease.

He pulls a face. “She needs to loosen up. Maybe a good fuck would help with that.”

You playfully slap his arm. “You’re impossible,” you laugh. “My brother-in-law takes good care of her.”

He shoots you a doubtful glance, then starts the truck.

The suburbs of Austin are quiet this evening. People are staying inside to escape the lingering heat of the day or they are already in town. You hardly see anyone, hardly pass any other cars as Tommy drives slowly, an old country song playing on the radio.

“You were on my mind all week,” he finally admits, pretending to keep his eyes on the road, but you notice how he glances at you.

You touch your neck, surprised by how hot your skin feels. “Nothing bad I hope.”

He chuckles. “Depends on your definition of bad.”

You briefly close your eyes and let your memory take you back to last Friday, to the image of him kneeling before you while he spread you open on the couch, tongue buried deep inside of you.

“Well.” You clear your throat. “I’m not usually like …” You trail off, suddenly worried you gave him the wrong impression, your head buzzing with your friends’ advice on how to keep him interested in you.

“You don’t usually sleep with a guy after the third date?” Tommy inquires.

“I don’t usually come more than twice in one night.” You whisper the offensive word.

“That’s hardly your fault,” Tommy replies with a shrug. “Those college boys are dull.”

“Who says I’m sleeping with college boys?” you ask.

He glances at you, the words, “oh come on,” written all over his face. “You don’t seem like the type of girl who would go after their dads.”

That comment sparks something in you. “Who says I’m not going after their moms?”

He laughs, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Now that’s a sight I’d love to see.”

“Do you think those college boys taught me all those things we did last week?”

Tommy clears his throat. “I think there’s a couple of things I’d like to teach you. Just as long as you promise not to use them on any college boys.”

A brief silence settles over you. Then, “Who taught you how to do all that, by the way?” you ask.

“All what?” Tommy teases.

“You know …” You shrug, but shift excitedly when he puts his warm hand on your naked thigh. His fingers are rough from his daily work, but his touch his so gentle that something melts inside of you.

“I’m afraid I don’t know.”

You sigh and glance up at the roof of the cabin. “Now don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re … what we did last week was the best sex of my life.”

Tommy squeezes your thigh. “There’s a wrong way to take this?”

“Don’t let it go to your head is what I’m saying.”

“It’s too late for that.” He pulls a grimace, brings the car to a stop in front of a red light. “Tell me more.”

“I’m not telling you anything until you tell me where you learned all that.”

“What? Eating pussy?”

“Oh my God.” Your face heats up because of him for the second time that evening. “Yes, that, but also … I’ve never been with a man who was so concerned about my … my pleasure.”

“I was in the Army,” Tommy answers.

“And they teach you that there?” You can’t quite tell if he’s being serious.

“If you’re on leave in some Godforsaken place, and there’s fifty other strappin’ young men you’ll learn fast enough how to please women. Or you’ll spend every night alone.”

You nod slowly. “Where are we going?”

“Oh no, missy, you’re not changing the subject.” Tommy’s hand climbs higher on your thigh; he’s almost touching the hem of your dress now.

You shrug. “You’re right; those college boys are boring. You’re … you know what you’re doing.”

“You’re just sayin’ that because you have no one to compare me to.”

Now it’s your turn to laugh. “No, I’m saying that because it’s the truth.”

Tommy glances at you again. “I don’t like that laughter.”

“Jealous?”

“A bit, yeah,” he admits.

“Don’t be,” you tell him, your voice suddenly soft. “There’s no reason to.”

Tommy pulls off the main road then and onto a dark parking lot. You’re about to make a teasing remark when he turns the car and suddenly the glistening Austin skyline is sitting right there in front of you, like a mirage in the desert.

“Wow,” you breathe and sit up straight.

“Did I promise too much?” Tommy wants to know.

“You didn’t promise me anything,” you remind him.

Your gaze wanders to take in everything, the dark trees shielding you from the road, the city that sits right there as if it wants to tempt you to reach out and touch it, the nearby bridge where a car passes in your direction.

“Wait a minute,” you say slowly. “I know exactly where we are.”

“And where’s that?” Tommy asks, a barely concealed smile on his face.

“I’ve heard stories about you and this place.”

“What kind of stories?” Tommy grabs a can of beer from a cooler on the backseat and opens it with a sharp hiss. “Only good ones, I should hope.” He hands you the can and you take it, but pull a grimace at him at the same time.

“What?” he asks.

“You used to take girls here when we were in high school,” you answer after taking a sip from the beer. “Lots of girls.”

“A handful, at most,” Tommy corrects you.

“More like a handful at the same time,” you mumble.

Now it is Tommy’s turn to ask, “Jealous?”

You take another sip before you answer. “I was back then. I had the biggest crush on you.”

“I’m flattered.” It sounds as if he’s mocking you but the flush on his cheeks tells a different tale.

“You never noticed me, of course,” you go on.

“You were a bit young,” Tommy points out.

“And now I’m not?”

“Now you’re a well-traveled woman who’s back in her little town for summer.” You open your mouth but he goes on. “Now you can tell when a man is takin’ you for a ride and when he’s serious about you. Do you still have a crush on me then?”

You shrug. “A different kind, maybe. I definitely don’t fantasize about you confessing your love for me anymore. Or about us running away together.”

“Why not?” Tommy takes a big swig from the can. “I think you should start doin’ that again.”

“Or I could fantasize about other things, less innocent things.”

Tommy shifts and clears his throat. You can’t help but smile at how little it takes to shift the mood.

“Like what?” he asks, and the beer can cracks in his grip.

“Like how you held me down last week,” you answer, fighting to keep your voice steady. “Or how softly you touched me afterwards.”

“You don’t have to fantasize about those things. Give me somethin’ new.” The slightly commanding edge to his voice sends a shiver down your spine.

“Well … when we were in high school, I used to wonder what it would be like to be taken here by you. What did you do with the girls you drove out here?”

In the distance, you can hear the sound of another car gliding across the bridge.

“Can’t you guess?”

“I was very innocent back then,” you remind him. “My thoughts never went past a small kiss on the lips.”

Tommy licks his. “Yeah, but now? What would you like me to do with a woman I take here?”

The tension has become unbearable and you giggle, searching to relieve it. It doesn’t work. Tommy’s hungry gaze wanders down to where your dress has ridden up your thighs and you inhale sharply.

“I still think a kiss would be nice,” you answer finally, your voice no longer steady at all. “But it doesn’t have to be all that innocent.”

Tommy puts one of his warm hands on your naked thigh, then leans in closer until he can hear your breath hitch. “Where would you like that kiss, darlin’?”

“How about you figure that out for yourself?” you tease him.

His lips are firm against yours, the pressure insistent until you open up for him. He tastes like the beer he just downed, the cigarette he just smoked. He also tastes like Tommy, and you relish how familiar you are with it after just two weeks. You sigh into the kiss, feeling all the tension leave your body. His teasing remarks and slight bravado are backed up by his skills, and you shudder remembering what else he can do with that tongue. You bite his lip to draw it out of him, but he only huffs and pulls back.

“Careful, darlin’,” he warns, his voice deeper now.

“What? Too wild for you?” you ask with a small laugh.

“Don’t get into somethin’ you can’t handle.” The tips of his fingers are under the hem of your dress now and you squirm, but he digs his nails into the soft skin. “See? I haven’t even touched you yet and it’s already too much for you.”

You raise your chin. “It’s not.”

“Have you ever fucked someone in a car?” Tommy asks, his hungry gaze fixed onto your face.

“No,” you reply slowly.

It’s not as if you didn’t know this was where the evening was going. It’s not as if you didn’t want it to go there. But now you’re here, you’re very aware of how exposed you are, even inside Tommy’s truck, and how many laws you would be breaking if you took this any further.

“Relax,” Tommy chuckles. His dark eyes are glistening in the lights of Austin. “You said it yourself: This isn’t my first time doin’ this. I’ve never been caught.”

“Oh, so I’m just another one of your conquests.”

“You can be anythin’ you want to be.” With that, he pushes his hand between your legs and places the tips of two of his fingers straight against your clit.

It’s as if your legs follow their own will when they spread open to give Tommy more room. He doesn’t need it, moving his fingers in a small circle, not breaking eye contact once. When he increases the pressure, one of your hands flies up to grab his shoulder, the other finds purchase against your seat.

“You like that, huh?” Tommy teases.

You nod, pushing your hips forward into his touch.

“Is it worth the risk?” His touch is lighter again, his fingers move slower.

Now it’s your turn to warn him with a, “Careful, Tommy.”

“Why?” His touch is feather-light now.

You move your hand that’s on his shoulder up to his jaw, cupping it. “You don’t want to turn me into a bad girl, do you?” You feel silly when you say it out loud like this, but his eyes light up.

“As I said, you can be anythin’ you want.” The tremor in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

“How about we start by turning me into someone who gets fucked in a car?”

Suddenly, he turns his head, biting into the heel of your palm, making you squeal. When your laughter dies down, you notice how his fingers are moving faster again, accompanied by a wet sound.

“God,” Tommy groans. “Look at you. I’ve barely touched you.”

Something tells you that you should be embarrassed by how little it took for him to turn you on, but then he increases the pressure on your clit, and your eyes flutter shut with a moan.

“I can see you overthinkin’ this,” Tommy whispers, so close you can feel his warm breath on your neck and ear. “Don’t. You’re fuckin’ perfect.”

“Tommy …,” you groan, and you don’t quite know why. Do you want him to go faster? Slower? Do you want him to make you come?”

He doesn’t allow you a single second to find answers to those questions. “I love it when you say my name like that.”

You roll your hips into his touch, and his other hand grabs your thigh with a firm grasp. “Don’t. Tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you.”

You open your eyes to find his gaze fixed on your face, eagerly licking his lips. In that moment, you don’t remember ever wanting anyone as much as you want him. Out of curiosity, you try to roll your hips again, and he lands a soft slap against your pussy in retribution, one that makes you groan with pleasure.

“Do that again,” you pant.

He hesitates for the briefest of moments, then does as you ask, a little harder this time. You fold, your upper body bending toward your knees, your head fuzzy with pleasure.

“I need you … inside of … of me, Tommy, please,” you stammer. You feel yourself clench around nothing at the thought of him filling you up. He only rolls your clit between his fingers, making your hips jerk involuntarily. “Please, Tommy, please.”

“Shhh,” he makes, and kisses your temple. “Later, darlin’. I want to see you come in your panties first.”

You grab his shoulder, feeling yourself tumble toward the edge. His fingers are moving fast enough to drive you insane with pleasure but it’s not quite enough to get you there. And he must know that, judging by the smug look on his face.

“Please,” you whimper.

“What do you need?” he asks, his voice thick with arousal.

You risk a glance down between his legs, the obvious bulge in his jeans making you clench again. Then you press your hand against his moving between your legs, just so the pressure becomes a bit more …

Tommy slaps your hand away. “Harder, Tommy,” he says in a voice mocking yours. “Come on, say it.”

“Harder, Tommy,” you moan immediately.

And you’re rewarded with an orgasm so intense you see stars dance in front of your eyes. Your moans make your ears ring, and when Tommy doesn’t stop, they turn into desperate whimpers. It’s only when you grab his wrist that he stops and you try to catch your breath with a shuddering sob.

“Fuck,” you groan and close your eyes.

“Yeah,” Tommy agrees. “Can’t believe you really just came in your panties for me.”

You laugh, your voice breaking when you can’t get enough air into your lungs.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful right after an orgasm, you know that?” Tommy goes on, and you want him to keep talking like that more than anything.

“Why?” you ask, then gasp, when he presses his fingers against your clit before removing his hand.

“You’re so perfect,” he answers without hesitation. “I guess I like seein’ you come undone.”

You straighten your dress and look at the glistening Austin skyline in front of you. “You bring out the worst in me, Tommy Miller.”

He shakes his head. “No, it’s almost impossible to take the good out of the girl.”

You glance down at his bulge again, lick your lips at the thought that it’s just sitting there, waiting for you. “It’s much easier than you think,” you reply, then begin to unbuckle his belt.

His hips jerk in response. “Careful, darlin’.”

“What? Can’t handle it when the tables are turned?” you tease.

He shoots you a crooked smile. “Don’t bite off more than you can chew.”

“Oh, I intend to.” You grip his hard cock and pull it out of his jeans, relishing how his hips jerk again. Your mouth waters when you run your thumb over the glistening tip and hear Tommy inhale sharply. Your short, tight dress makes it hard for you to climb up onto the seat while still preserving some of your dignity, but one glance at Tommy tells you he couldn’t care less. His pupils are dilated and his mouth hangs slightly open while his chest rises and falls rapidly. All that just because you’re holding his cock in your hand. You stroke across the tip again, then move your hand down toward the base and lock your lips to his, capturing a deep groan. Tommy’s eyes flutter shut and you lower your head, closing your lips around his cock.

“Fuck,” he groans, one hand immediately tangling in your hair.

You shift, trying to find a more comfortable position, but it’s hard, even if the bench of the pick-up is bigger than most car seats you’re used to. Tommy doesn’t care. He pushes himself deeper into your mouth and you swallow around him, his sharp taste overwhelming. It’s hot in the truck, and you can smell his sweat, smell your own arousal on his hand resting on his thigh. You pull off him until only his tip is still between your lips, then move down again, while he pushes, almost impatiently. Your neck strains uncomfortably, but you want to make this work. For him.

“Stop,” he says after his tip hits the back of your throat and you gag. “I want to be inside of you.”

You straighten your back and smile at him. Your lips feel swollen. “You are, Tommy.”

With his thumb, he swipes away saliva and pre-cum from your bottom lip. “Not like that.”

The way he looks at you, heated, yes, but also with an unguarded softness in his eyes, makes something flutter inside your chest. “What did you have in mind?” you ask.

He leans forward, his mouth so close to your ear his breath tickles your skin. The presumed forbiddenness of what he’s about to tell you makes you hold your breath. “I want you on top of me,” he whispers in your ear, voice low. “Use me however you want.”

A pleasant shiver runs down your spine and you nod, cheeks burning up. What have you done to deserve a man like him in your life?

You move to climb on top of him, but he stops you, his hand spread across your chest. “I think we’d be more comfortable on the backseat. Don’t you?”

You glance over the front seats at the dark space beyond and nod again. It’s also harder to spot you back there should someone decide to drive into the parking lot.

With practiced movements, Tommy tilts his seat, then climbs over it, briefly struggling with his loose jeans. You grin and follow him, body humming with pleasant anticipation. Tommy pulls his shirt over his head and kicks off his shoes and jeans, but when you start to take off your dress, he stops you.

“No. Just your panties.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Oh?”

You can’t really tell in the dim light but he looks flushed when he searches his trouser pockets for a condom.

When you finally lower yourself onto him, you can feel his chest vibrate with a deep groan under your palms. He jerks and shifts trying to adjust himself, but you hold him down and roll your hips from side to side until he nods. For a while, you both just sit there and look at each other, his hands stroking your sides, your fingers playing with the coarse hairs on his chest. To you, this is the definition of paradise.

You roll your hips in small, slow circles at first, so imperceptible it takes him a while to notice. But when he does, he jerks his hips upwards, urging you to go faster, so you press your knees into his sides.

“No,” you tell him, and when he opens his mouth to protest, you put a raised finger against his lips. “Let me take care of you.” For a second, you think he’ll reject you; but then he nods. “Good,” you say, brushing your thumb across his bottom lip before pulling your hand back. His chest and neck are a deep red now.

It’s not like you’re planning on torturing him forever. You roll your hips a little faster, and with every deliciously lewd sound he makes for you, a little faster still. Soon, your resolve crumbles, and you allow him to stroke your naked thighs, to squeeze your clothed breasts, even to play with your clit. The humid air in the truck clings to your skin, and to Tommy’s, and you’re transfixed by a bead of sweat making its way down his cheek. You capture it with a kiss, then throw back your head with a moan when he rolls your clit under his thumb just so.

That’s when you notice it – the other truck parked next to yours. Was it already there when Tommy pulled into the parking lot? Did it pull up afterwards and you just didn’t notice because you were occupied with other things at the time? Whatever the answer might be, it’s not important right now, not when you notice the other truck isn’t empty.

A man is staring at you with an intensity that makes your breath catch in your throat. He looks older than Tommy, but not by much, maybe a few years. His face is framed by dark hair and a dark beard, very prominent on his upper lip, less so on his cheeks and chin. His eyes are dark too, hidden in the shadows of the driver’s cabin, but you can feel them on you, watching every twitch of your hips with intent. And he definitely isn’t alone.

You can’t see the person he’s with; she’s kneeling in front of him, hands and knees on the backseat, and he’s holding down her head with his outstretched arm. All you can see is that she has dark auburn hair that the man uses to hold her in place. The back of your own scalp prickles at that sight and you wish someone would hold onto you like that.

You should stop and tell Tommy about the stranger in the car next to yours who is fucking a woman you can’t see while watching you fuck a man he can’t see. Or you should move to the other side of the car where he won’t be able to see you. The least you should do is look away. But you don’t do any of these things. Later, when you’re alone, you’ll ask yourself why, but there is no answer other than not wanting to break the connection you feel to that stranger at this very moment. You’ll think it a weak excuse then, but right here, in Tommy’s truck, it feels like the most sensual experience of your life. You’re both fucking other people and yet it feels like you’re fucking each other.

Beneath you, Tommy groans deeply, and he twitches inside of you. “Keep goin’, darlin’,” he mumbles.

You don’t know if Tommy is watching you or if his eyes are closed, you don’t know if his mouth hangs open, you couldn’t name the shade of red coating his neck. Instead, you watch as the stranger bites his lip, watch as his eyes flutter shut after a particularly deep thrust, watch how he presses the woman’s head down further. You can almost hear his pants and growls, and in turn your breath comes in short bursts. Why doesn’t he look away? And why don’t you?

His thrusts come faster now, and it’s not as if you’re consciously changing your pace too, but suddenly you catch yourself matching the roll of your hips to his. You groan when you see the smirk on his face, and your upper body falls forward, forcing you to brace yourself against Tommy’s chest. Why did that stranger’s smirk set the base of your spine on fire and why did your small moment of weakness make his face darken with resolve?

When you look up again, he has his eyes closed, so you close yours too, and for an instant, just one brief moment, you imagine it’s him thrusting up into you. That vision is so powerful you half expect it to be him below you when you open your eyes again, but it’s Tommy, and he’s watching you.

“Feel so good,” he mumbles. “So, so good.”

A twinge of guilt gets mixed in with that already explosive cocktail of feelings brewing inside of you, and you’re not sure what to do about it. Are you crossing a line with this? You don’t know; you’ve never heard about anyone in a situation like this. All you know is that when you lift your head, the stranger’s gaze hits you like a bolt of lightning. You feel it tingle in your fingers, up and down your legs, on the tip of your nose, and at the back of your neck. But most importantly, you feel it deep in your core that clenches with desperation. He lifts his chin and rolls his shoulders, pushing his chest forward, like he’s showing off to you, and you can’t help it – you dig your nails into Tommy’s skin and he groans with pleasure.

The air in the truck is so heavy it is becoming hard to breathe. You only realize that when you would need it most desperately. Over there, in the other car, the man’s hips suddenly still and you watch as he throws back his head, as a deep, dark flush climbs up his chest and neck. You can almost feel it, how he empties himself into that woman he’s fucking, how he empties himself into you. And before you can fully grasp what is happening, you’re clenching around Tommy hard and fast, making him snap his hips up into you.

“Fuck, fuck! Fuck!” he swears, holding you in place with two hot hands on your sides.

Your orgasm is still making your entire body shake, but it also feels like it doesn’t belong to you at all. You’re praying for the stranger to look at you again, one final time, but he has disappeared. All you can see is his back from time to time, and the woman’s knees that look like they’re trembling, as he goes down on her. You can’t help the jealousy that is clawing at the inside of your stomach.

Tommy pulls you down and gives you a searing kiss. “You’re fuckin’ amazin’, you know that?” You giggle and bury your face against his neck, trying to shake off that strange feeling of desire and yearning. “I’m very sorry I doubted you,” Tommy goes on. “No college boy could’ve taught you that.”

“That good, huh?” you ask, running your hand through his curls.

“Good’s an understatement,” he mumbles.

Carefully, he lifts you off him and takes off the condom. You’re on the other side of the truck now and can barely see the top of the other one. That loss is strangely irritating.

“Take off your dress,” Tommy orders.

You look at him, at his flushed cheeks, at the drunk desire in his gaze. “Ready for round two already?” you tease.

He shakes his head. “No, but I won’t make you wait for me.”

His mouth is hot against your sensitive clit, and you roll your hips up against his tongue eagerly. Above you, the roof of the truck is cast in shadows. You stare up at the boring gray, eyes wide open, because as soon as you close them, you see the stranger, as clear as if he was still right in front of you. And you refuse to give him that kind of power over you.

***

in plain sight taglist: @shellshocklove

#tommy miller x reader #tommy miller x you #tommy miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x tess servopoulos #joel miller #tess servopoulos #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #in plain sight

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allfoolsinluv · 1 year

Note

“Spread your legs for mommy/daddy, I want to see you.”

“Did you come already?”

With Joel/tess/reader? please

i love your crave series <3

the way this whole scene FLASHED before my eyes as soon as i read this request... WHEW thank u for this one sweet nonnie 🥵 i do want to note that i changed the "spread your legs" prompt a smidge, only bc i don't see either Crave!Joel or Crave!Tess having a mommy/daddy kink with babysitter. i'm sorry but i hope the change i made is ok & that u still like it!!

from prompt list a:

#34: did you come already? #42: spread your legs for (me), I want to see you

pairing: Crave!Joel Miller x f!Reader x Tess Servopoulos

word count: 1.2k

rating: Explicit, 18+ only. Minors DNI.

warnings: established poly relationship, m/f/f dynamics, age gap (reader's in her 20s, Joel & Tess are in their 40s), unprotected p-in-v (wrap it up folks), dirty talk, praise, low-key dom/sub undertones, nipple play, fingering (f receiving), language

200 follower celebration // main masterlist // series masterlist // taglist

Teamwork

“You’re doing so well, sweetheart. Taking his cock like such a good girl.”

You moan at her praise, turning your head to the side to look at her. She’s laid out alongside you, her head propped up on one hand while her other kneads at your breast. Your arch into her touch when she takes your nipple in between her fingers and pinches it.

Joel groans, “Fuck, she liked that, honey. Do it again.”

Tess smirks as she pinches your nipple again, rolling the bud in between her fingers. She leans in and kisses your neck, rasping against your skin, “Is that right, sweetheart? You like it when I play with your tits while Joel fucks your pretty pussy?”

“Yes,” you shout out, your eyes clenching shut against the nearly overwhelming pleasure they’re working to give you. “Fuck, I like it so much. Please don’t stop.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart,” Tess says. She lifts her head from the crook of your neck and watches your face as her hand moves from your chest down to your cunt. She spreads her fingers around where Joel is splitting you open, coating her fingers in your slick. The extra pressure pulls groans from you and Joel. She lingers there for a moment before bringing her fingers up to your clit and rubbing it in tight circles.

“Fucking christ,” Joel shouts at the way your cunt clenches around him, the words barely louder than your moans. His thrusts grow sloppier and more uncoordinated. Before he can stop himself, hips stutter in their movements and he stills against you, his spend filling your pussy. He drops down to his forearms, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he thrusts weakly against you, working himself through his orgasm.

“Fuck,” Tess sighs, pulling her hand out from between you and Joel to scratch at his scalp. “Did you come already?”

Joel grumbles in response. His breath on your neck makes you giggle.

“Did you come, sweetheart?” Tess asks you. You look up at her, your bottom lip in between your teeth as you shake your head no. She tsks softly and moves her hand down to Joel’s shoulder, shoving lightly at him.

“Come on, baby, scoot over. Let me take care of our girl now.”

Joel nods and slowly pulls out of you with a soft groan. You whimper at the feeling of his cock leaving you. As quick as you can, you clench your thighs together, keeping his come from leaking out of you and onto the bed.

He plops down beside you, one of his hands moving to grip your chin. He turns your head to face him, and he angles you the way he wants before he leans in and presses his lips to yours. He wastes no time licking at the seam of your lips, begging for entrance. You don’t deny him, opening your mouth and granting his tongue access to yours. You moan into the kiss, completely uncaring of the way he smirks smugly against your lips at the noise. When he pulls away, you try to chase his lips, but he simply shakes his head, turning your attention back to Tess.

“Eyes on her, sweetheart.”

Tess smooths her hands up your calves and to your thighs, her nails digging into your flesh. It’s just on the right side of painful. “Spread your legs for me, I want to see you.”

You obey her immediately, spreading your legs and putting your pussy on display for her. She groans at the sight of your wet folds, glistening with a mixture of your slick and Joel’s come. You can feel it starting to leak out of you, and Tess’ eyes zero in on it. She doesn’t even think about the action, she just does it—scoops his come up with her fingers, and shoves it back inside of you.

“Oh my god,” you moan, your eyes fluttering shut. She doesn’t waste any time in building you up, almost immediately fucking her fingers in and out of you in earnest, your lost orgasm roaring back to life.

“You look so fucking pretty with Tess’ fingers inside of you, sweetheart,” Joel groans, one of his rough hands moving up to cup your breast. His thumb rubs circles around your nipple, and when the sensation makes you clench around her fingers, Tess laughs.

“Oh, he was right, you do like that sweetheart.” She looks to Joel with a playful smirk and continues, “I don’t blame you for finishing early, baby. With how tight her pussy just got from that… I would’ve come, too.”

Joel glares at her and mumbles a quick shut up before he’s ducking his head down to pull your other nipple into his mouth. He rolls his tongue around it, getting it to a hardened peak before he sucks hard on it.

“Fuck!” You cry out. “Oh, fuck, I’m so fucking close, please don’t stop, don’t stop, please let me come.”

You’re babbling, you know you are, but you don’t fucking care. Joel’s hot mouth and rough fingers on your tits, his come being fucked back into your pussy by Tess’ fingers, how fucking fast and hard she’s moving… It’s somehow too much but not enough.

“Come on, sweetheart, that’s it,” Tess sighs. “I can feel you, you’re almost there. What do you need to come? Use your words, tell us what you need and we’ll give it to you.”

“My—” you cut yourself off with a choked whimper. You gasp as you try to catch your breath, and when you do, you manage to spit out, “my clit. Rub my clit. Fucking please, I need it.”

“You heard her, Joel. Rub her clit and make her cum.”

Joel doesn’t pull his mouth away from your chest as his hand moves down your pussy. He zeroes in on your clit right away, moving on pure muscle memory as he rubs it in the tight circles he knows will get you off quickly.

It’s just what you needed, your orgasm so close you can practically taste it. Your thighs start to tremble and your back arches off the bed as you start to feel the pressure build and build in your core. Joel pulls off your nipple with a pop at the same time that Tess angles her wrist to hit you just a tad deeper, the tips of her fingers brushing against the spot inside of you that always makes you see stars, and you’re done for.

You come hard around Tess’ fingers, everything inside of you drawing tight before it all releases. The pleasure spreads out from your core and all across your body. Tess works you through it with her fingers, praising you for how well you took them the whole time.

When your body settles back against the mattress and your chest is no longer heaving, Tess slowly pulls her fingers from you. They’re dripping, coated in your slick and Joel’s come. She brings them up to her mouth and licks them clean with a moan.

“Fuck, you two always taste so good together,” she says when she pulls her fingers out of her mouth. Joel’s hand reaches up to squeeze her hip affectionately, and she bends down to plant a kiss on his lips. You watch as his mouth opens for her, and he groans at the taste of the two of you on her tongue. He pulls away and gives you a smirk.

“She’s right. We do taste good together.”

#afil 200 follower celebration #joel miller x reader #tess servopoulos x reader #joel miller x reader x tess servopoulos #joel miller x tess servopoulos #crave drabble #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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absurdthirst · 1 year

Text

Meet Me At Bill's Town {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 14.5k

Warnings: Post apocalyptic life, mentions of cancer, mentions of dying, open relationships, sex toys, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, unspoken feelings, death, suicide, loss, grief, oral sex (male receiving), shower sex. No physical description of reader but there is a hair washing scene.

Includes Spoilers for Episode 1x03

Comments: When Bill & Frank take you in to help care for Frank in his declining health, you meet Joel. Making you wish you had what the two men have together with him.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

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|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

“Shit!” You’re in a fucking pit. Panic wells up in your throat as you pause to do a mental check on your body. Nothing seems broken, although your wrist is sprained from falling. Why the fuck would FEDRA dig a goddamn pit? And wasn’t the QZ farther into Boston? You could swear that’s what you had heard. Yet you had seen barbed wire fencing and obvious traps for the infected and hurried towards salvation. Now, now you think you’re fucked. Climbing gingerly to your feet, you stare up at the top of the hole warily. “He-hello?” You don’t yell, you don’t know who you might encounter but you don’t want them immediately shooting thinking you’re one of them. “Is anyone up there?”

Bill tentatively approaches the pit, rifle aimed and ready, and he asks who the fuck you are. “I’m just looking for the Boston QZ.” You hold your hands up towards him.

He narrows his eyes, “you’re a long ways from there. It’s miles away. At least a day of walking. You FEDRA?” He narrows his eyes at your badge.

“No. No. I’m a nurse.” You announce, “I was told they needed nurses at the Boston QZ. I- I just wanted a new start.”

Hearing that you’re a nurse has Bill grabbing the ladder. “One move and you’re dead.” He warns, watching you walk up a few steps and he presses the tester he has on his belt against your neck. You barely flinch, used to the device and Bill is relieved when he sees its green. “What’s your name?” He asks and you tell him. “You hungry?” He asks and you snort, “fucking starving.” Bill nods, “good. Frank is just making lunch.” He helps you out and your eyes widen as you make your way through the gates into a town.

“Holy shit.” You whisper. “It’s a fucking town.” You frown when you don’t see others walking around, but you just assume they are inside the other buildings. “I- What’s your name?” You ask, making him swing around towards you suspiciously but you just hold up your hands. This man is obviously someone who doesn’t trust easily and you understand it given the circumstances. Another couple of steps go by before he finally speaks.

“Bill.” He tells you, turning back around as he leads you towards one of the larger, more stately homes in the blocked off zone. It’s gorgeous, something you would have dreamed of buying before the world went to hell.

“Wow.” You murmur, wondering if he had lived here before or just taken over. “You have a beautiful home.”

“Thanks.” Bill replies, a little awkward as he guides you into his home.

“Bill?” Frank calls out from the kitchen.

“We got a guest.” Bill shouts back. “Drop your stuff there.” Bill orders, pointing to the hallway and you drop your pack and follow him into the kitchen, his rifle still in his hand. The food smells delicious and Frank smiles at you when you walk in.

“You got a live one?” Frank teases and you are instantly at ease with his friendly smile.

“She’s a nurse.” Bill says, offering Frank a pointed look.

You frown, noticing the slightly gaunt look in Frank, the tremble in his hand. “He’s sick.” You declare and Bill nods, making Frank sigh.

“Yeah. I’m - It’s getting worse.” He confesses and you nod, “cancer?” You guess and you hear Bill swallow harshly, a distant look in his eyes.

“There’s no cure but I’m happy to be here.” Frank says, still moving around and able to live a relatively good life with the pain pills they get in.

“Right.” You nod, knowing that he’s trying to keep his head high for Bill, there’s clearly something between them.

“Lunch is ready. Go wash up. Bill, show her the downstairs bathroom.” Frank orders, wanting to change the subject and you let Bill guide you down the hall, his rifle lowered but still in his hand.

“You have running water?” You ask in awe and Bill nods, “hot too.” You practically choke on your surprise.

“Fuck, a hot shower.” You practically moan it and look back towards Bill searchingly. “I- I can be done in five minutes?” You offer, knowing that you won’t have clean clothes to put on, but you would love the opportunity to get clean for the first time in forever.

Bill sighs but nods. “Yeah.” He agrees, rolling his eyes because he knows Frank will chastise him if he isn’t a ‘gracious host’. As if you were here for a scheduled visit. “I can find you some clothes to wear.” The bedroom is now Bill and Franks, since it’s easier to get him into bed here rather than carrying him up the stairs on his bad days. “I’ll put them on the bed.” Once he’s said that, he’s turning and fleeing down the hall to talk to Frank, leaving you in the room to strip down and get in the shower.

“Hey sweetheart.” Frank greets Bill when he comes into the kitchen, that damn rifle still in hand.

“She’s a nurse, Frank. She can help you.” Bill says to Frank, “unless she’s lying but you could have a chance.”

Frank sighs, turning towards Bill to place his hands on his chest. “I’m dying, Bill. We gotta accept that. There was no cure for this shit before and now…I can’t even get an MRI. She can help monitor me but what else can she do? I- I like her. Might be nice to have a woman around the house, someone else to talk to. I love you but it’s been twenty years…we have run out of topics.” Frank teases Bill who rolls his eyes.

You try to keep to your word. Moaning under the hot spray of the water, you close your eyes while dirt and filth swirls down the drain. Wondering how the hell they got so lucky, how they’ve kept this place safe. You scrub every inch of your skin and even your hair, though it will be a mess to dry. Being clean is more important right now. When you come out, there are clean clothes on the bed, folded neatly. An oversized pair of sweats and a t-shirt, obviously men’s but they are clean and you quickly dress before wrapping your head in the towel and opening the door to find them.

Frank has the best china on the table and Bill is rolling his eyes as he waits for you to appear. When you do, looking a bit cleaner, he keeps his gun in hand as he gestures for you to sit down. “You did this with Joel and look how that turned out. Put the gun away.” Frank rolls his eyes as he brings in the lunch.

Your eyes widen when you see chicken. You don’t remember the last time you had chicken. “What the hell is this place?” You ask, eyes wide and it’s like heaven.

“Our home.” Bill grumbles, watching you as you bite your lip and barely resist the urge to tear into the plate the moment it’s set in front of you. “I could have served it.” He huffs to Frank but the other man just turns and tuts at him.

“I am still doing things as I am able.” He tells his partner before he smiles at you. “I’m afraid we don’t have any chardonnay but I do have a good Pinot Noir that will be delicious with it.” He turns to Bill. “Go get the bottle of Pinot.” He orders, making Bill sigh and pick up his gun to bring with him into the kitchen to get the bottle of wine.

“I can’t believe you have wine at all.” You murmur in amazement.

Frank smiles at you, remembering the first time he came here and Bill served him rabbit and Beaujolais. Man has always known how to serve wine. “We have been extremely lucky. Bill was a prepper and knew what to do when shit hit the fan. He took me in twenty years ago and I’ve been here ever since.” You sense there’s a relationship there but you don’t know to what extent.

“That’s amazing.” You say with sincerity. Frank was lucky to have found Bill and you know it’s going to be hard to leave here about a glass of wine. Bill comes back in with the bottle, eyes still wary of you and he expertly pours you a glass.

“To new friends.” Frank toasts when you all have a glass. Bill meets you gaze as you hold your glass up towards him and take a sip.

“So Frank,” you turn to the obviously younger man and smile softly. “When did you feel the change in your appetite or your health?” You want to give him as much care as you possibly can since they have let you clean up and are feeding you such a wonderful meal.

“It was about a year ago.” Frank admits, glancing over at where Bill squirms in his seat. “He doesn’t like to talk about it, but I have days where it’s hard to stand, to walk. But today is a good day.”

Bill sighs, “we talked. We, uh, we want you to stay here. I need help with Frank, I need your knowledge to help care for him.” Bill says and you can tell that it’s hard for him to admit. Frank shakes his head, reaching for Bill’s hand.

“You want me to stay…” You process the incredible news until your cynicism catches up. “What else do you want? You want me to fuck you both?” You have had plenty of offers to be taken care of in exchange for your body. You haven’t allowed anyone to take advantage of you like that and you’ll be damned if you let them just because they live in a Mecca.

“Oh honey, no. We only fuck each other.” Frank smirks and Bill blushes, ducking his head and you chuckle.

“Okay. Well, I want to stay. I do. I want to help you.” You tell them, knowing that you’d be a fool to leave this place.

****

Staying with Bill and Frankie was how you met them. Joel and Tess. They were a unit, maybe a couple. You couldn’t tell. Coming at arranged times to meet and trade goods, pass information. They had been shocked to see you there, but you had understood. It was unusual to see someone else with the couple, but your job of helping to take care of Frank was important. They had brought you some medications that you wanted to help ease his pain, offer some relief and hopefully extend his quality of life for a few years.

You can’t deny the attraction to Joel, even though you know it wouldn’t happen. He’s hot though and it’s been a long time since you’ve seen a man who isn’t in a long term relationship with the only other man around. Their commitment to each other was sweet and complete. It didn’t help that you often found Joel staring at you while they were here, trying to figure out where you fit.

One day, Joel arrives alone, and you immediately ask where Tess is. "She had shit to deal with." He declares without further explanation. You know Joel isn't one for lengthy conversations. He is a man of few words but those words are concrete. He is similar to Bill, focused on surviving and he will kill anyone who dares to take what belongs to him. You help Frank prepare the lunch, his hands shaking a little more nowadays, and Bill shows Joel the new stuff he managed to find. Joel has more pain pills and information to exchange.

"Joel came alone." Frank says softly and you focus on peeling the potato.

"And?" You retort, making Frank snort.

"We both know how you feel about him." You sigh, setting the peeler down, "and we both know he doesn't feel the same way." Frank doesn't respond to that, deciding to offer a hum as a reply that has your heart sinking. Joel is with Tess, he loves Tess. He lives in the QZ with Tess. It would never happen, no matter how many times you imagine it late at night. "Lunch is ready!" You call out eventually, the salad is washed and plated up along with the dressing you made with the oil Bill pressed a few months ago.

Joel shakes his head when he sits down at the table. “You constantly surprise me.” He tells Frank and sends you a small smirk. “You too.” He adds before nodding at Bill.

The two men understood one another but the lightness of the relationship came from Tess and Frank. You were a new addition and interesting to him. Tess’s words echo in his head. ‘I don’t care if you fuck her, Joel. Do what you want. Just don’t get her pregnant. That’s the last thing we need.’ He picks up his fork and spears a potato. “What do you guys need?” He asks, looking around the table. There are always things that he can get in the QZ for you or he would scout it out if he had to, it was worth the items that he could get from Bill or just the fact that he has a person he could count on if shit hit the fan again.

"Well, she needs a sex toy so see if you can find a dildo or vibrator around the QZ. Still in packaging, of course." Frank says and you choke on the Chardonnay.

"Jesus, Frank. Gonna kill the poor girl." Bill shakes his head and Frank shrugs, "what? She hasn't been laid since before she got here. It's been months for her and she ain't gonna get it from us." Frank argues with Bill and your jaw drops, unable to even look at Joel.

“Oh my God.” Your cheeks feel like the surface of the sun but you hear a raspy, rough chuckle. Unable to even see if it was Joel, although you think it was. “I’m fine.” You insist but Frank tuts.

“By hand is never fun.” He insists, well aware that he is poking you, and Joel, if he would admit it. You need to get laid and he feels like Joel would fuck you right.

Joel smirks at your mortified expression and how you refuse to look at him. “I’ll see what I can find. Any preference?” He asks, cock twitching in his jeans. “Size, hole?”

Frank decides to push it even further, looking at Joel while you stare at the table cloth. "Whatever you think is closest to yours."

You want the earth to open up and swallow your whole. "I, uh, I forgot the, um, salt and pepper." You lie and sprint into the kitchen to get away from the men around the table.

"Jesus Christ, Frank." Bill shakes his head at his partner, unable to believe he had come out and said that.

“What? I’m sure he’s got a nice sized dick. Tess seems impressed.” Joel’s brows are up and he is watching the doorway that you disappeared through. It’s obvious Frank knows something that he doesn’t, but it’s easy enough to guess. He grunts and looks back down at his own plate.

“Sure thing.” He answers, before he takes another bite of his food. He won’t seek you out now, knowing you will be too embarrassed to talk to him. He’ll wait until later and then have the conversation that is apparently due.

You finally gather the nerve to head back into the dining room. “It, uh, salt and pepper was already on the table.” You mumble, unable to meet Joel’s eyes as the three men watch you sit down. Your cheeks burn still and your stomach twists, hating how your crush has been revealed like that. Still, Frank was just trying to help you out in his own way.

“I was thinking we could try some watercolors later.” Frank says, taking pity on you.

“Oh, uh, yeah. We can do that. Sick of the oils?” You tease, knowing you’ve nearly run out but you have been painting with Frank in the afternoons to help his tremors.

“Absolutely.” Frank playfully rolls his eyes and Joel frowns, confused until Bill explains.

“Frank wanted to learn how to paint and this one here used to be an artist while juggling nursing school so she knows her shit. I get the supplies and we are nearly out of oils.” Bill explains to Joel who is nearly finished with his food.

“Nice.” Joel makes note of that, thinking he can see about finding some more oil paints when he is scavenging. It’s not like art supplies are an in demand item. He finishes up his food and wipes his mouth, leaning back. “Frank, Bill, it was delicious like always.” He compliments, wondering if you will ever look at him again as you stare down at your plate.

“Thank you, Joel.” Frankie smiles and tilts his head at him. “Why couldn’t Tess come?” He asks, sure that she would come this time again. “You never said what she was busy with.”

Joel shrugs, “she met some guy who came from the Baltimore QZ. Been traveling for years to find somewhere and she, uh, hit it off with him. Decided to stay behind and I didn’t wanna third wheel.” He admits, looking at you but you avoid his gaze. Tess was with another man? That makes you frown but you don’t say anything, wondering how Joel feels about that.

Thankfully, Frank never beats around the bush. “And he’s her friend? Or is it…?” He trails off, wanting Joel to explain.

“As in, I wasn’t going to watch them fuck, or get into bed with them.” Joel shrugs and reaches for his wine glass. “We don’t own each other.” He takes a sip and sets the glass down. “We’re together when we are, we do what we want when we aren’t.” It wouldn’t make sense in the pre-Outbreak world, but that time no longer exists and it doesn’t matter anymore. He wasn’t going to stop Tess from grasping what little happiness she could because Joel couldn’t fully commit. Not completely. Both of them knew it and she understood better than anyone else. His eyes meet yours briefly before he looks back at Frank. “Any other questions?”

Frank shakes his head, smirking at the directness of Joel, so similar to Bill. Gruff and deadly but the right person could mellow them. “No. That’s all.” Frank replies demurely and you try to not act like your ears pricked up. Tess and Joel were lovers but not committed. Pre-Outbreak you would’ve avoided getting in the middle of that like the plague, but a fucking plague has happened and Joel is your only current option to feel something other than your own touch.

“I’ll clean up the dishes.” You offer, standing up to grab your plate, taking Bill and Frank’s and Joel hands his to you, fingers brushing yours and you hate how good it felt, just that simple touch.

“You should help, Joel.” Frank hums, making Bill sigh softly at his lover’s meddling. “Bill.” Frank hisses and nods towards the door.

“What- oh, uh, yeah.” Bill chimes in reluctantly. “You ate a free meal. Clean up, you mooch.” He grumbles at Joel, socially awkward as usual but it’s enough to make Joel smirk and shake his head.

“Alright.” He huffs, getting to his feet and grabbing the wine glasses to bring into the kitchen.

You turn to see Joel carrying the wine glasses into the kitchen and you focus on washing off the plates. “I, uh, I’m sorry about Frank. He worries about me. Thinks I need someone like Bill to look after me but I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself. Survived before I arrived here.” You justify yourself and Joel leans over you to place the wine glass in the sink. His body nearly pressed against you but you can feel the heat of his form, his breath ghosting along your neck as he exhales.

“So you don’t want me to find you a toy that’s the size of my dick?” He asks, amused and completely aware that you’ve frozen with a plate in your hand. “Or that I shouldn’t think about making you scream loud enough to annoy Bill and make Frank clap when I come downstairs tomorrow?” He was spending the night, taking his time to go back to the QZ so that he didn’t travel at night. “Because that would be….disappointing.”

You inhale sharply, his words making your cunt clench and your entire body nearly vibrates with the need for him to follow through on his words. He’s made his desires clear, now it’s time for you to do the same. You spin around, pressing yourself against him and he instinctively pushes you back against the sink. “What if I want both? The toy for when you’re not here and tonight so I can remember how you felt inside me while I screamed your name?” You challenge him with your head tilted towards his, daring him to do what you’ve dreamed of for so damn long.

Joel smirks, his hands finding your waist as he leans in. Pressing his lips to yours in a rough combination of need and frustration boiling over. He’s wanted you, of fucking course he has. He’s just never acted on it since Tess was with him and even if it was okay, he hadn’t felt right about it. Guilty. Right now he’s not thinking about feeling guilty or Tess as his tongue slides into your mouth as soon as you open up for him with a small moan. Tasting the chicken along with the spices it had been cooked in and the wine it was served with from your tongue. Hands squeezing your hips before he slides them around to cup your ass and pull you against him and his hardening cock.

You gasp into his mouth, reaching up to tangle your fingers in his hair like you’ve imagined so many times. You tug on the salt and pepper locks and he groans into your mouth, tongue exploring while his fingers knead your ass. “Upstairs.” You manage to mumble into his mouth, not wanting Bill and Frank to walk in on you fucking Joel in the kitchen. You’re on the precipice of it and if you don’t move now, you’ll let him have you anywhere he wants.

“I need-” He breaks off to kiss you again. “Fuck, I need to clean up.” He’s grimy, sweaty. The shower he had been planning on lingering in is a necessity but he will run through it as fast as possible. Pulling away, he pants slightly. “I’m gonna get in the shower.” He tells you roughly, eyes dark. “I want you naked when I get out.”

You nod, knowing he will want to clean up and you wouldn’t mind a moment to prepare yourself either. “Go shower. I’ll be waiting on my bed for you.” You kiss his jaw, dishes abandoned as you spin out of his arms, offering him a wink before you sprint upstairs to get ready for him. You’ve waited months for this. You strip down and clean up in your bathroom, grabbing the bottle of perfume Frank had gifted you for your birthday and you spritz it on, checking your hair and grabbing some lip balm Bill had made from the beeswax for you. You exhale shakily once you’re ready, struggling to find the right position to lay on the bed while you wait for Joel to shower.

In the shower, Joel exhales slowly. The thing with Tess is comfortable, easy, because she knows the darkest parts of him, she’s participated in some of them. There’s no need to talk about it, about the past. You’re different. You still have a sense of hope that hasn’t been beaten down. He focuses on washing himself, his cock hardening as he wraps his soapy fist around it and makes sure that he's clean. Wanting to make sure you don’t regret this.

When the door to your room opens, you inhale shakily, crossing your ankles as you lean back against your pillows, naked and wet with anticipation waiting for Joel. He walks in, hair wet and slicked back, and a towel wrapped around his waist, tented with his arousal and you swear you’ve died and gone to heaven then and there. Scars are scattered on his skin from near misses, the one on his hand hidden as he clenches his fist when his dark eyes settle on you after he shuts the door behind him.

His eyes drink in the sight of your naked body and he exhales roughly. “Bill and Frank don’t have any condoms, do they?” Joel jokes, knowing that they don’t but it’s going to be hard to keep from busting too soon once he slides inside you.

“I don’t think so.” You frown slightly and he nod..

“Spread your legs.” He orders. “I want to see you cunt.”

You obey, unable to deny this man anything he wants. Your heart pounds in your chest and you grip the sheets beneath you as you spread your legs to display your already wet cunt to his dark gaze. The towel is barely hanging around his waist when his cock hardens even more and you desperately want to rip it off of him.

“Shit.” He hisses, shaking his head as he steps closer. “Fucking pretty cunt.” His fingers reach out to stroke your ankle. “When was the last time you were fucked?” He wants to know so he doesn’t hurt you if it’s been awhile. He’s rough but he wants to make it good for you. “Really fucked and not just your fingers buried in your pretty cunt?”

“About six months before I arrived here. I- I had a friend I was traveling with and we would - it had benefits but he got infected. I had to kill him.” You explain, lost in the memory for a moment but you know Joel understands. “It’s been a long time.” You confess breathily, enjoying his fingers caressing your calf and back down to your ankle.

Joel hums, nodding his understanding and he moves to kneel on the bed. His towel opens, breaking the tuck at the waist and falls off of him. Leaving his body exposed and his cock bobs as he climbs on the bed with you. “Then I need to make sure you cum on my fingers first.” He decides, sliding his hand higher and squeezing your thigh. “You want that? My fingers curled up in your cunt while I suck on your tits?”

You nod, a little speechless from how fucking big his cock is. He’s long and you know enough that it’s going to punch you in the guts with each thrust. You whimper when his fingers explore higher, “please Joel. I need you. Anyway you want. I’m yours.” You promise him, knowing that might scare him away but you hope he understands that you mean in body, not necessarily heart and soul.

It’s been a long time since he’s touched someone who wasn’t Tess. Thought about it, but never actually pulled the trigger. Too used to the familiarity he supposes. But right now, he wants to touch you. Groaning quietly as he slides his hand between your thighs and flips his wrist around, coming to hover over you and kisses your lips while he pushes one, then two fingers inside your cunt.

His fingers are already better than yours, thicker and stretching you out, he curls them within a couple of pumps and you moan into his mouth when his thumb presses against your clit. “Fuck baby. That - keep doing that.” You sigh, closing your eyes and you reach up to caress his shoulders, strong and wide from carrying the world on them. You want him to relax, caressing his upper arms and kissing his jaw while he works his fingers inside of you.

It’s probably the laziest he’s been in bed for a long time. Or at least, the most sober. He groans, ducking his head down and wrapping his lips around one of your nipples to bite down on the tip before sucking on it. He loves you moans, your whimpers and the little gasp you gave when he bit you, making him do it again.

He’s everywhere and nowhere, it’s enough and yet you want more. His fingers scissor inside of you whine he bites on your nipple and you are whining his name, loud enough that Bill and Frank would hear if they were directly downstairs. “Fuck Joel.” You want to touch him so you slide your hands down his chest, wrapping your fingers around his cock.

Joel hisses against your tit, hips rocking forward at the sensation of your hand around him. “Fuck.” His fingers curl up, pumping into your cunt harder. Determined to open you up so he can fuck you and he needs to be inside you now. “Oh fuck, baby, you want my cock inside you, don’t you?” He groans when he feels your walls fluttering around his fingers like you are going to cum. “Want me to fuck you?”

You whine, words escaping you for a moment until they come back and you are squeezing his cock in your grip. “Yes. Yes. Wanted it for so long. Imagined it so many times. Please Joel. Fuck me. I- oh shit. Shit.” You choke on your own breath as you cum, clamping down around his fingers and you soak his digits with the first orgasm you’ve had by someone else in forever.

He groans as he works you through it, cock throbbing and leaking against your thigh as he pumps fingers in and out of you furiously. Pulling off your breast to crush his lips to yours when you cry out his name one last time before you slump back to the bed, panting. “Good girl.” He moans, pulling his fingers out and shuffling to his knees so he can wrap his hand around his cock and smear your cum on it. “Are you ready?”

“I’ve been ready since the moment I met you.” You confess, looking up at him in awe and your heart pounds in your chest while you admire his face. “Fuck me, Joel.” You demand.

That is all he needs to hear. Edging closer, Joel takes a second to swipe the head of his cock through your folds and nudges it with your clit. Smirking when you while and roll your hips down. “Gotta wait.” He teases, sliding down to your entrance and positioning himself before he rocks forward and pushes inside just a bare inch. Enough that the head slides inside you before he is covering your body with his and rolling his hips to slowly fill you.

“Oh God.” You pant, head tilted back into the pillow as his cock pushes deep and stretches you out. “Oh God. Joel. Fuck.” You pant, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer, your tits pressed against his chest and you kiss his neck and jaw.

Joel moans out your name, closing his eyes at the hot, tight glove of your cunt around him. “Shit, just - just give me a second.” He pants out, dropping down to his elbow and clenching his fist as he tries to keep from wrecking you right now. You need a second and if he moves too quickly, it’s going to be over.

“Take your time.” You hum, enjoying how he feels inside of you and you stroke his back, feeling how tense he is while he allows you time to adjust to his cock. “You feel so damn good.” You sigh, the sting of the stretch subsiding.

Joel groans, unable to keep still any longer. “Hold onto me.” He grunts out, pulling his hips back as he watches you, smirking slightly before he slams back into your tight cunt to start a breathtaking pace.

“Oh fuck!” You yelp, unable to believe how fucking deep he hits when his hips slam against your ass after you wrap your legs around his hips. “Oh my God.” You choke when he begins to fuck you, hard and fast, stealing your breath away with every punch into your guts.

“Fuck.” He hisses, the muscles in his arms straining and bulging as he holds himself up so that he can fuck you. Immediately the bed starts hitting the wall at the same pace that his hips drive down, filling you up. “Fuck- fuck, you- you’re so t-tight.” He groans, loving how you’re taking him and clawing at his back for more.

The headboard is hitting the wall and you would be mortified to know that Frank is waggling his eyebrows at Bill while Bill shakes his head, but you feel too good to care. Joel keeps the pace steady and you gasp in response every time he pushes deep. “So- so good. You’re so big. Feels like - fuck- like you’re in my goddamn stomach.” You pant, struggling to keep your eyes open so you can see the way his jaw clenches and his muscles tense and flex under the strain.

Joel growls, ramping up his pace to fuck you even faster. The praise just makes him want to go harder. Especially because every time he punches deep your nails bite into his shoulder and he likes the pain. This pain is acceptable, he loves it. Joel leans down and bites your bottom lip sharply before he slides his tongue into your mouth, grunting into you with every thrust.

You cling to him, rocking your hips up to meet his thrusts and when he grabs your leg and pushes it back into your stomach, you’re sent over the edge. “Oh fuck. Oh fuckkkkk.” You squeal, clamping down on his cock and you soak him with your cum while your fingers dig into his shoulders, your head pressing back into the pillow as he pushes you into the best orgasm you’ve had in years.

Joel slows his pace down, rocking his hips slowly as he works you through it, amazed how you just soaked him. “Shit.” He pulls out of you and grabs your hips to flip you over onto your stomach. “Gonna fuck you even harder now.” He promises, pushing back inside you again with a groan. “Fuck you’re so fucking wet right now.”

“Oh fuck, Joel. Baby. Oh my fucking God.” You rock back onto his cock, head dropping between your shoulders as he continues the same pace. His cock pushes even deeper in this position and his hips slam against your ass. Pushing you up the bed, you have to reach out and wrap your fingers around the slates in the headboard to steady yourself.

“That’s it.” Joel hisses, gritting his teeth and digging his fingers into your hips to hold onto you as tight as he can as he drives into you again and again. “Fuck, want- rub- rub your-” He cuts himself off with a groan, wanting you to cum again before he does. “Fuuuuuuuck.”

You follow his orders, letting go of the headboard to push your hand under you, the angle is awkward but you manage to rub your clit. "Shit. Keep going. Right there. Right there!" You shriek when Joel hits the right spot inside of you. Your hand aches a little but you push yourself over the edge, clamping down on his cock for the second time.

“Shit.” Joel barely rocks into you once more before he’s losing control. Pulling his hips back and ripping free of your spasming cunt. Barely wrapping his hand around his cock before he’s cumming. Shooting ropes of cum onto your ass and up your back as he groans out your name, pouring himself out in shuddering spasms of pleasure.

You pant, trying to catch your breath, and you rest your head on the pillow beneath you. “That was - that was better than I imagined it and I have imagined it a lot.” You admit breathlessly, smiling into the sheets as Joel’s cum starts to cool on your skin.

Joel grunts, barely able to catch his breath as he shuffles off the bed to grab his towel to wipe up his cum off your back. “Glad that I didn’t disappoint.” He chuckles as he cleans off your skin and rolls up the towel to throw it on the floor. His shit needed to get washed and he would throw it in there with it. He comes back over and nudges you over to get into the bed beside you.

You shift, letting him lay down on the bed beside you and you shift to snuggle into his side. You feel him tense so you kiss his chest and move slowly to get away from him but he wraps his arm around you and pulls you into his side. “I’d kill for a smoke right now.” You confess and he chuckles, “can get you some.” You shake your head at the offer, “cancer sticks. Not worth it when I’ve made it this far in this shitty existence. Thank God I found Bill and Frank. Mind you, I was heading to the Boston QZ. Reckon we would’ve met if I had gotten there?”

“Probably not.” Joel answers honestly. “You would be…put in a different zone.” His fingers start to trail up and down your arm and he frowns up at the ceiling. “You’re pretty, gorgeous. You wouldn’t be put to work in the broken down sections of the city. You would be up in the better kept areas. One of the leaders ‘nurses’ or some shit.” He scoffs. “You’d only treat their stuffy noses and hangovers.”

“Maybe I would’ve treated you after you came back hurt. You never know. They might’ve assigned me to a different zone.” You trace one of the scars on his chest. “Mind you…you’ve had Tess to nurse you back to health.” You murmur, remembering the woman he shares the majority of his life with. You can’t be jealous, you can’t compete with her so you don’t try to. You know what this is between you and Joel.

“Tess nurses herself.” Joel snorts. “Poorly.” He finds a scar on the back of your shoulder blade and he traces it lightly with a finger. “I’m the one patching shit up, so it would be nice to be nursed for once.” He smirks and looks down at you with a raised brow. “You kiss boo boos to make them feel better too?”

"Only when my patient is sexy." You retort with your own smirk and his chuckle makes your stomach twist.

"Sexy." Joel scoffs, "I'm old now." He shakes his head, not knowing when that happened.

He sighs and you frown, sitting up slightly so you can look at him, "don't be ridiculous. You're sexy now." You can't believe he doesn't think he's hot.

He rolls his eyes at you, pulling you close. “And your eyesight is going.” He huffs, unable to resist kissing you one more time.

“You are.” You insist.

“Okay, okay, I’m old sexy, how about that?” He jokes, enjoying the way you sputter at him. It is lighthearted and he likes that.

You hum in contentment, "I'll take it." He chuckles and you kiss his chest, "you want something to drink? Bill has a bottle of Jack he hides that he doesn't think I know about. I'll go get it." You peck him lips and shift to get out of bed.

"Stay here. Tell me where it is and I'll get it." He insists and you nod, telling him where the bottle is hidden. He grabs the robe off of the back of your door and you giggle when it hits him on the upper thigh. He grumps at you, shaking his head, and you smirk, watching him sneak out of your room. He makes his way downstairs, cautious of Bill and Frank hanging around, and he opens the linen closet to find the bottle when he hears a throat clear.

He turns to see Frank standing there, a cheeky grin on his face, "you fuck her good?"

Joel straightens up, knowing he looks ridiculous in the robe with nothing else underneath. “What do you think?” He asks. “You heard it.”

Frankie hums, nodding at that obvious statement. “Sure did. Lot of “oh fucks” scattered through the banging of the headboard.” His grin drops for a moment and he levels a serious look at Joel. “Don’t hurt her, she’s a good girl.” He warns Joel and nods towards the closet. “It’s in the shoebox on the right.” He tells him before he turns around to slowly walk away and leaves Joel to stare after him for a moment, pondering his words.

When Joel returns with the whiskey, you are still naked and looking out of the window to the greenhouse you've been working on with Bill to grow some oranges. Boston isn't known for its hot weather during the winter months so you've been nurturing them. "Oh good, you found it." You smile, walking over to him and you take the bottle from his hand, taking a swig. "It's the good stuff." You tell him, handing it back to him.

“The good stuff huh?” Joel shakes his head and takes a swig of the liquor. “It seems like that’s all Bill and Frank have.” It’s always amazed him that the two men’s lives had improved through all of this in a major way. Finding love; real, deep love. He could see it in the way they treated each other. “They are lucky.”

"They are. They found something that seems to be destroyed in this new world: love. It's beautiful to watch, even if Bill is a miserable bastard, he shows Frank his love in so many ways." You sigh, sitting down on the bed, "it's why I'm here. Bill kept me here to look after Frank, otherwise he probably would've killed me."

“He would kill me too.” Joel huffs. “Although the first time we came here, I thought he was going to kill Frank.” He jokes. “He invited us without telling Bill until it was too late.”

"Shit. Frank was testing the limits there." You giggle, shifting to lay down against the pillows. "You've exhausted me, Miller. Come take a nap. Bill said about cooking rabbit tonight so he will help with dinner." You sigh, shifting to grab the blanket from the foot of the bed.

Joel sets down the bottle after taking another swing of it, knowing that he should put his clothes back on, but he can’t resist the lure of laying next to you for a bit. Climbing into bed with you and pulling you into his arms, Joel closes his eyes and tries not to react when you snuggle against him again. He’s not good at this.

****

Joel leaves the next morning after spending the night in your bed. Another round of sex and an awkward dinner where Bill refused to meet anyone’s eyes and Frank couldn’t stop smirking and waggling his eyebrows. Joel just winked at you and carried on eating the rabbit. After dinner, he fucked you again and left you passed out in your bed this morning. When you wake up, you expect him to be there but the spot he fell asleep in is empty and so is the feeling in your stomach. He didn’t even say goodbye. You can’t be mad, you’re lucky you got to have him for a day, but you want more. Now you’ve experienced him, you want more of him and you know that’s not fair to ask. With a sigh, you shift out of bed and get ready for the day, the ache between your legs the only reminder of Joel Miller.

“Why the fuck are you doing this, Miller?” Joel gripes to himself, eyes swiveling around as he cautiously approaches the building. He had thought about this place when Frank’s request had been mentioned and figured he could scope it out before he went back to the QZ. “A fucking toy.” He slowly approaches the building and opens the shattered glass door, listening for anything moving inside. The neon lights of the adult store are long since dead and the dusty racks aren’t pillaged, his theory of no one needing a fucking dildo at the end of the world was accurate. Although he could probably sell them in the QZ. The light from his bag shines on the displays and he shakes his head, grunting to himself as he looks at shape and size with a more critical eye than he looks at his own dick. Finally finding one that would meet the criteria and pulling it off the hanging rack and shoving it in his bag. You better appreciate this, even though Joel’s cock twitches at the idea of using it on you himself.

****

When Joel arrives back at Bill and Frank’s you’re surprised. Hearing the gate open and close, you hear Bill call out that Joel is back and you try to control yourself, inhaling deeply. Frank, who just happens to be beside you, chuckles and lowers his paint brush. “Go say hello.” He orders and you nod, knowing you have paint on your jeans but you don’t care as you open the front door to see Joel standing there.

“Back so soon?” You greet him with a teasing smile.

Joel snorts and tilts his head. “Bill didn’t tell you I would be back?” He asks, not surprised that the old bastard didn’t. He swings his back around and taps the zipper. “I’ve got something here that you - well Frank - wanted.” He chuckles, smirking at you. “I think it’s the size of my dick, but I’ll let you be the judge.”

Your eyes widen, “you got it?” You don’t know why you doubted him, he can source nearly everything, but you didn’t think sex toys would be a common commodity. You glance behind you, “Bill and Frank are both busy. Come upstairs. I wanna see it and compare.” You reach for his hand to practically drag him into the house and up the stairs to your bedroom.

Joel chuckles and follows you. “Packaging is dirty, and I’d clean it first, but yeah.” He hears Bill and Frank murmuring downstairs but ignores it to follow you into your room. “Strip down.” He tells you. “I’ll go wash it.” His cock is already hardening in his jeans and he wants to see how you look with your cunt lips stretched around it, carrying that image with him when he goes back to Boston.

You moan softly to yourself as he walks into the bathroom, “scissors are in the drawer.” You tell him and you eagerly strip off, paint stained jeans pushed into the corner, and you lay down on the bed just like you did the first time he touched you. When he comes back into the room, the toy in hand, you shift onto your knees. “Strip down. I wanna compare.” You tease, reaching for the buttons on his shirt while he holds the toy.

Joel snorts but he does as you ask. Setting the toy down and quickly shedding his clothes. He’s not fully hard so he spits in his hand and stands in front of you, pumping himself until he is straining, aching with need as he stares at you. “Compare, sweetheart.” He smirks at you and his cock twitches when he lets go of it, bobbing heavily in the air.

You grab the dildo, holding it beside his cock and you hum, admiring the closeness in girth and length. He had done a good job. “Hmmm, you have more veins and ridges but it’s close enough to keep me satisfied while I remember how good your cock felt inside of me.” You decide, leaning in to wrap your lips around the head of his cock, wanting to hear him moan your name.

Joel groans, fingers grabbing the back of your head and your name comes out in a breathless pant. Blow jobs are not expected or received very often and the feel of your mouth has him making a low sound in the depths of his chest as he tries to keep from rocking his hips. “Fuck, you- it’s so- fuck.” He pants, closing his eyes as your tongue swipes over the head. “Oh fuck. You- the toy.” He grunts out. “Want it inside you while you- fuck, put it in.”

You were wet as soon as you saw Joel standing on the porch. He has this ability to get you going with a look in his eye and you moan around his cock. Blindly reaching for the toy, you position it between your legs and push it in, eyes closing in bliss at the way it stretches you. “Fuck baby.” You pant, the head of his cock brushing your lips.

There’s something filthy about the way that he has his cock in your mouth while you are working a toy into your cunt. Making him groan as he watches it push deeper. “Fuck, you’re gonna use it everyday, aren’t you?” He grunts. “Remembering how I fucked you? Wishing I was fucking you again?”

You pull off of his cock for a second, pumping him and using your other hand to push the toy inside of you fully, stretched out and loving how deep it is inside of you. “Every day.” You promise, “gonna use it every day and think of you inside of me.” You take him back into your mouth, sliding your hand down to roll his balls in your fingers.

Joel chokes out your name, his hips rucking forward hard enough to make you gag but you don’t pull off of him. Making him groan again as he starts to fuck your throat, watching as you bounce on the dildo where it is pressed up inside you on the bed. “Fuck- fuck, gonna think about this.” He admits breathlessly. “Gonna jerk off thinking about you fucking yourself with it.”

The thought of him using this to get off has you moaning his name, muffled around his cock as you let him fuck your throat. You rock your hips as much as you can to try and make yourself cum on the toy. Every moan that escapes Joel’s lips sends you closer to your orgasm.

Groaning, he loves the way your moans vibrate up his shaft. Making him shudder slightly and rock his hips a little faster. “So good.” He pants, watching you take his cock down your throat, “so fucking good. Want you to think about this too.”

You hum in agreement around his cock, knowing you will think about this. How he tastes, how he smells, how he feels. It’s almost overwhelming. Especially when he pushes deeper down your throat and you breathe harshly through your nose. You want Joel to leave here satisfied, you want him to want to come back to you.

It only takes another minute with your talented mouth around him. Gripping the back of your head, Joel moans your name, cock spurting down your throat as he cums. Cursing as he rides out his high and watches you swallow his cum, drops of it escaping down the sides of your mouth when you can’t take it all.

You try to swallow as much as you can, loving the feel of his cock in your throat when it’s been so long since you’ve had this kind of intimacy. You work him through it, pulling off of him to lick the head, cleaning him up, and you lick your lips to gather up the drops that escaped, your cunt clenching around the toy inside of you and you need to cum. “Fuck.” You whine, shifting to lay on your back, grabbing the toy to push it back inside of you.

Joel pushes you back into the bed, making you lay down and he’s stretching out beside. Pulling your leg up on his hip before he bats your hand away. Taking the toy himself as he starts to work it in and out of your cunt. “Grab your tits, baby.” He grunts. “Want to see you cum.”

“Oh shit.” You whine when he pushes the toy deep inside of you. You follow his order, cupping your tits, and you cry out when he twists it. “I’m gonna - Joel. Fuck. Gonna make me - oh fuck. Oh fuck. Yes. Yes. Yesssss.” You hiss, pinching your nipples as you fall apart on the toy, soaking it and clamping down around the silicone.

Joel watches you, loving the gasps and sobs of pleasure as you work through your orgasm. Slowly pump the toy into your soaked cunt until you are relaxing against the bed and moaning softly. “Good girl.” He hums, smirking down at your blissed out face before he leans down to kiss you softly. “Now you can have a toy to keep you satisfied.” He tells you playfully.

You giggle, nodding and caressing his chest. “Thank you. For everything.” You murmur, leaning in to kiss along his neck. “When are you heading back to the QZ?” You ask, caressing his chest as you curl around him after he pulls the toy out of you and tosses it onto your nightstand.

“I have to leave in the next hour or so.” Joel admits, sighing slightly as he lays with you. It’s a long hike and he needs to get back. Even delaying the return to get your toy was something out of character for him. “But I’ll be back as soon as I can. There’s enough medicine for Frank to last for months.” He squeezes you close to him again. “Maybe I’ll find another toy before I come back.” He jokes.

You smirk, “I wouldn’t complain about that. Although I’d rather have you than any toy.” You confess and you sigh, kissing his jaw before you sit up. “We should clean up and get you something to eat before you get going. You’ll need to have your strength.” You know he’s going back to Tess and you try to not think about that as you clean yourself up.

You feel him shift in beside you to clean up and you meet his dark gaze in the mirror. So much is left unsaid. In true Joel style, he grunts and shifts into your bedroom to get redressed. You wash the toy, hiding it in your drawer, and redress before heading downstairs to get him some food.

“He get you a good one?” Frank asks and you fluster, liking the way Joel chuckles behind you, his hands on your hips.

“Of course. She ain’t gonna miss me with that around.”

Frank clicks his tongue, “I beg to differ there, Joel.” You offer the older man a warning look and he smirks, hobbling into the living room to continue with his reading.

Joel eats quickly, efficiently and when he’s done he moves over to the sink to clean the dishes. “I’ll get them.” You insist, making him sigh and turn to pull you close to him.

“Send a message if you need something.” He orders gruffly, reaching up and holding your chin in his hand, thumb rubbing over your cheek. “Or if - if things get bad with Frank.” He hasn’t missed the way the older man is moving, obviously in more pain than before. “I think I can get some morphine, real morphine, not that fake shit.” He tells you. “Make it easy for him.”

You nod, turning your head to kiss his thumb. “That would be good. He’s getting worse. Bill won’t accept it but he is.” You sigh and step away from Joel, knowing that he’s leaving, you try to create a bit of distance. “Hopefully I won’t be sending any 80s to you. Even if it is my favorite era of music.” You smile and wink at him, “you best be off. Take some fruit with you. We picked apples the other day.” You walk over to the bowl to grab the apples and you put them in a sack, “plus I made you a sandwich for the road.” You walk over to the fridge to take out the box of sandwiches to give to him.

Joel takes the sandwiches and stares at you for a moment, wanting to say something but not knowing what. In the end, he nods at you and turns to walk to the front of the house, to bid Frank and Bill a goodbye before he treks back to Boston, wondering when he will see you again.

You watch him go and sigh, sitting down at the kitchen table and you aren’t sure how long you sit there until Frank walks in, eyebrows raised. “Don’t say a word.” You warn him, looking out the window to see that night has fallen.

“I didn’t say a thing.” He shakes his head, a wry smile on his face.

****

Joel doesn’t return for a few months. Frank gets worse, no longer able to walk so you use the wheelchair Bill had found in the back of one of the stores within the compound. You try to medicate him as much as possible but his tremors create a lot of obstacles for him. “I’m getting worse.” Frank says one day while Bill waters the flowers around the house.

“You are.” You tell Frank, knowing he won’t want you to beat around the bush.

Frank sighs, glancing at the open door, “he’s not gonna take the news well.”

You reach for Frank’s hand, squeezing it, “we will tell him together. I am here for you both. You’ve been so kind to me. I am forever in your debt. I’ll be here until the end.” You vow and Frank hums, his plan forming in his mind. Neither you nor Bill will like it but it’s necessary. He won’t be a burden on you and Bill in this new world. He’s had a good life.

Joel thinks about you randomly during the days. While he’s helping burn bodies or shovel shit, he’s wondering what you are doing. Wondering how Frank is doing. There hasn’t been a message but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t worried. When he gets the fucking battery, he’s going to check on them, on you, before he goes to find Tommy. Tess has already made noises about asking you to go and he thinks that she wants to stay behind.

When Frank and Bill tell you Frank’s plan, you cry. You have loved them like uncles and you know that Frank wants to go before he gets too bad. No amount of morphine or drugs will save him from his fate. Frank declares that him and Bill are getting married and you go with them to the boutique. Picking out a pretty dress, you change and help Bill dress Frank in the suit. The way they look at each other has tears forming in your eyes. When they exchange rings and vows, you take a Polaroid photo, wanting to remember their wedding day, and you help Bill cook Frank’s final meal.

“I want to go too.” Bill declares softly and your eyes widen, “what?” Bill sighs, “I want to go with him. I don’t want to live without him. I know…I know it’s selfish and I know we will be leaving you but I’ve already set the radio to 80s, Joel will be here soon. Maybe he can move here and help you, keep the house going. Maybe Tess will come here too. I want…I want to go. It’s time. We are both old and he…he was my purpose. I’ve dug our grave to save you the time. Please make sure we are holding hands.” Bill requests and you nod, pulling him into your arms as you choke on a sob. “No tears. Let’s make this last dinner our best one yet.” Bill says, kissing your cheek and he walks off to find the bottle of Beaujolais.

You wipe your eyes and carry the wine into the dining room, beautifully put together for their last dinner. You let them take their time, in no rush to finish this meal and when Bill nods, you stand up and grab the bottle of wine he’s had airing in the kitchen. Tears fall down your cheeks as you put the pills into the bottle and carry it in, waiting for Bill to tell Frank his plan, which he doesn’t, until after he’s already drunk down the glass.

You cry, sniffing to stop your sobs, and Frank reaches for your hand. “I’ve had a good life. I want to go out my way, you’ve been a Godsend. Caring for me, you’re like…you’re like the daughter I never had and I want you to know that I love you. Thank you for everything.” Frank says and you sob, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“When you arrived, I wanted to kill you.” Bill says frankly and you offer him a watery chuckle, “oh I know.” Bill continues, “but I didn’t and I’m glad I didn’t. You brought life back to this house and I hope you continue to do so. With Joel.” Bill adds, “you both deserve a happy ending. Together.” Bill knows how Joel feels about you and you him, he hopes Joel comes when he hears the radio.

“Thank you both…for everything. I love you so much.” You stand up and kiss Bill’s cheek and then Frank’s again, silently saying goodbye.

“Take me to bed, Bill.” Frank orders and you stand to help. When you get Frank situated in the bed, Bill shifts to lay beside him, pulling him into his arms. The window is open and you lean against the doorframe, tearing streaming down your cheeks as you watch them embrace.

“Goodnight.” You murmur, knowing this is the last time you’ll see them alive.

“Goodnight. Don’t make too much noise when you go upstairs.” Bill says like he always does, making you smile.

“I won’t.” You promise and shift to shut the door behind you, biting your lip to stop your sobs. You focus on cleaning up the dinner, putting the dishes away just as Bill always liked them. They’re gone by the time you go to bed, sobbing into your pillow that you could be all alone unless Joel arrives soon. You pray he does.

****

Joel clenches his jaw as he soaks his hand in the cold water. It feels good, relieving the pressure of the fractured bones. Staring into the water as he picks out a large, flat rock. Tess always liked the water, claiming that it was soothing. It seems fitting to build her a small memorial by the river. He piles the rocks up, every one symbolizing their relationship over the years. It had transitioned and her words haunt him slightly. He had known that he loved her, of course he loved her. He had spent years with her, but it had never been that all consuming love. Grief had kept him from getting too close, or opening himself up all the way, then it had shifted when he had met you. She had seen it.

He sighs as he stands, starts making his way back to the trees where Ellie is waiting, they had stopped for the night after putting ten miles between them and Boston and there was still plenty of traveling to go until they get to Bill and Frank….and you.

“Look, I’ve been thinking about-“ Ellie starts, the last two attempts to make conversation failing.

Joel lurches to his feet as he starts to sling his pack onto his back. “I don’t want your sorries.” He spits out, still raw from the loss of the woman he had been with in one way or another for years.

“I wasn’t gonna say I’m sorry.” Ellie shoots back, leaning forward and looking at him. “I was gonna say that I’ve been thinking about what happened. Nobody made you or Tess take me. Nobody made you go along with this plan.” Joel stares at the girl, aware of that fact. “You needed a truck battery or whatever, and you made a choice. So don’t blame me for something that isn’t my fault.”

Joel wants to tell her that he doesn’t blame her, he wouldn’t blame a child for this shit. Instead he just nods, making her relax and gather her things. She brings his jacket back over to him and asks, “how much longer?”

Joel thinks about you. “Five hour hike.” Five hours to get to you. Five hours before he can wrap his arms around you and forget everything for a few hours.

Ellie contemplates it for a moment. “We can manage that.” Joel doesn’t answer, just turns around and starts on the path that will take him to you.

You are hanging up your laundry when you hear the gate beep. You grab the rifle you’ve kept close, aiming it as you sneak through the backyard to the hide out spot that allows you to look through the front of the house. You inhale sharply when you see Joel, followed by a teenage girl. You want to sob, relieved to see him, and you set the rifle down, rushing through the house and flinging the door open to rush into Joel’s arms.

The moment he sees you rushing out the door, he knows. Closing his eyes for a second to let another wave of grief wash over him before you are there. Throwing yourself into his arms while he catches you and pulls you close.

“What the fuck is going on?” Ellie mutters, bewildered by the appearance of another woman who obviously cares for this asshole. Joel ignores her, hugging you tight and listening to you sob into his chest.

“When?” He whispers, aware that he’s been away from his radio but he hopes you’ve not been alone with Bill for too long.

“A few days ago.” You choke, breathing him in. He smells like sweat and dirt but it’s all Joel and you are in his arms again. “Both of them.” You reveal, pulling back to cup his cheeks, frowning when you see the grief in his eyes and you look at the teenager and then back at him. “Where’s Tess?” You ask, wondering if he left her with that new man you heard about last time he was here.

“Yesterday.” Joel exhales roughly, his heart aching for you, having to go through losing both of them at the same time. “Got bit.” He closes his eyes again and shakes off the emotions, tamping them down right now before he turns to Ellie. “This is Ellie.” He introduces you. “Tess- we were - she’s immune.” He tells you, knowing you will understand what he means. “I need to get her to my brother and the Fireflies.”

“Immune?” Your eyes widen and Ellie awkwardly waves at you, “yeah. Been bit twice. Haven’t turned into a monster yet.” You can’t believe what you’re hearing, knowing this girl could be the key to something.

“Come in. Bill left you a note. I’m sure you’re starving. Let me make you something to eat.” You say, taking Joel’s hand to guide him inside. You’re still processing, knowing Joel must be grieving Tess as much as you are grieving Bill and Frank.

Joel doesn’t want to read the note, knowing that the man never particularly cared for him but he owes it to the old bastard. “Shit, you live here?” Ellie asks, walking in and immediately starting to poke around.

“Don’t go gettin’ in trouble, Ellie.” Joel calls out as the girl disappears down the hall. He sighs when she just waves one arm over her head. “Fuckin’ teenagers.” He huffs, rolling his eyes before he looks at you. “How are you doing?” He asks softly, frowning because you were all alone here.

You shrug, “I’m fine. I- I miss them so much.” You choke and he pulls you back into his arms, “I didn’t know if you were going to come. Bill changed the radio before he - they went together. Took a shit ton of painkillers. I helped. They - Frank wanted to go and then Bill wanted to go with him. I’m here alone…well, until now.” You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. “I was worried you would never come.”

“You should have known I would come.” Joel chides you gently, wrapping his arms around you. “I told you I would be back but I’m sorry it wasn’t soon enough.” He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against yours.

“HOLY SHIT!” He jumps when he hears Ellie screech but he knows she’s safe. “They have hot water! I’m definitely taking a shower!”

He huffs and rolls his eyes before he looks at you again. “She’s a little excitable.”

You smile, knowing she probably hasn’t seen most of the things in this house preserved from a time long before she was born. “You need to take a shower too.” You wrinkle your nose jokingly, pulling back to look at him.

Joel frowns, pouting at you slightly because you are saying that he stinks. “Fine.” He huffs, not upset with you. He knows he stinks. He hadn’t exactly had time to stop and clean up. “Do you- uh…” He shuffles slightly and rubs the back of his neck, looking towards where Ellie had disappeared to. “Do you want to shower with me?”

You nod, knowing you both need this time to reassure each other that you are safe and alive. “Come on.” You take his hand, guiding him to your bedroom and adjoining bathroom. You work on unbuttoning his shirt, pushing it off of his shoulders, after you turn on the water to let it heat up.

Joel sighs, closing his eyes and letting the weight of the world roll off his shoulders. You are alone now. He can’t leave you here and yet he doesn’t know if you would want to go with him. It’s going to be a rough journey. “I- I have to take the girl west.” He tells you quietly. “I- if you want to stay here, I get it. It’s safe. It’s comfortable.”

You caress his chest after you let his dirty shirt fall to the floor, “you could stay? It’s safe here. We have enough supplies to last a lifetime. Fresh food. Animals. It’s a good life. Bill made sure it would outlast time. Stay here. You and the girl.” You offer, reaching down to unbuckle his belt.

“I can’t.” Joel shakes his head, remembering Tess’s last words. ‘Save who you can save. Set it right.’ “What if- what if the girl could end all this?” He asks quietly, “she’s immune. Maybe, maybe there’s a fucking antibiotic they could create from her blood.” He looks up at you, begging you to tell him that it was possible. “Maybe people don’t have to keep dyin’.”

You know he’s done a lot of bad shit, killed, stolen, but you know he’s done it to survive. Maybe him and Tess enjoyed some of it, you wouldn’t be surprised, but you know, deep down, he has hope. “Then we will get her where she needs to go. I survived out there before, I can do it again. If…if you want me to come along.” You add, knowing he might not necessarily want you to come along, he could leave you here alone. You imagine you’d go mad like Bill nearly did. He’d told you the stories of his life before Frank came along, how lonely he was.

“I don’t want to leave you here alone.” Joel murmurs quietly, admitting what he might not have said before losing so many so quickly. “It’s gonna be rough, dangerous.” He reminds you. “But I’d rather you be with me than wonderin’ what’s happenin’ here and worryin’ about you.”

You smile, “you’re a big softy inside. Just like Bill. You two were more alike than either of you would ever admit.” You stop undressing him and look into his eyes, “I’ll come with you. I know it’s dangerous but I’d rather die fighting beside you than be safe and alone in this house.” You cup his cheeks, wanting to know how to feel, “I’ll stand by you every day until the day I die.”

Joel wants to roll his eyes, to expel the heaviness of the situation but it would make a mockery of it. He nods and reaches up to cover your hands with his. “I’ll keep you safe.” He vows, aware that he’s let so many people down, but he can’t let you down. “I- I want you to know that I thought of you. While I was gone.”

Your heart flutters at his confession, “I thought of you too. Toy got a lot of use thinking about you, Miller.” You tease, kneeling down to take his boots off and pull his pants off of him. Once he’s naked, you work on your own clothes, eager to be naked and in the shower with him. You kick your clothes aside and walk into the bathroom, knowing he will follow you, and you check the water in hot. “Come on baby. Let’s clean up.” You say and pull him in behind you.

Joel groans at the hot water, closing his eyes like he always does. He needs to clean up, check on Ellie and start packing up the truck but for right now, he just needs this shower. “Fuck.” He murmurs softly, leaning against the wall and reaching for you. “I- they are all gone.” He sighs heavily.

“They’re all gone…but we aren’t.” You remind him, letting him pull you into his arms. The water hits just right to flow over you both and you kiss along his neck, absorbing the fact that he’s here and he’s alive, you’re alive. “I love you.” You whisper against his skin, knowing he’s heard it. He could reject you. Push you away, at least you would have gotten this off of your chest.

Joel sighs heavily, closing his eyes. He hadn’t been able to say anything to Tess in those final moments, even though he had cared for her greatly. Loved her in his own way. It’s something he regrets now. “I- care about you.” He murmurs softly. “I think about you, worry about you.” He swallows, thinking about Bill and how alike they were. “I love you.” He whispers.

You barely hear it but you do, knowing how hard it is for him to admit. You tilt your head up to press your lips against his. Emotions are a weakness in this world but you can’t stop yourself from loving him, even if you tried. You don’t say anything else, just tilt your head so you can press your lips to his, wanting to feel connected to him. Once you leave this house, every day is a blessing and who knows when you’ll have the chance to be connected like this. You want to savor this time.

He lets you draw him into the kiss, slowly deepening it as you pull him closer. Letting him forget everything but the way you taste and your warmth against him. You’re alive, he’s alive. You have each other. Joel groans and spins you around, pressing you up against the cool shower tiles and starts to ravage your mouth.

You moan, clinging to him as he pushes you against the wall, and he steals your breath from you, sliding his tongue into your mouth and his hands grab your thigh, lifting it up onto the edge of the bathtub. His cock hardens against your stomach and you reach between you to wrap your finger around him, slowly pumping him and loving the way he hardens in your hand.

He shouldn’t be doing this right now. There’s so many reasons why, but he needs to. Needs to feel you. Moaning into your mouth, his hand slides to your cunt, rubbing your clit and sighing in relief when he feels the wetness already gathering. “Let me fuck you.” Joel begs, kissing down your jaw. It’s selfish, but he needs the comfort you can give him. The thought of nothing but the pleasure between you.

"Do it. I need you Joel, fuck me." You beg, rocking your cunt down into his hand and whining when he withdraws his fingers. He bats your hand away from his cock and shifts closer to position the head at your entrance. You moan softly when he slowly splits you open, a little rough since you aren't soaking wet to take his length, but you don't care. You just want to feel connected to him.

“Shiiiiiiit.” Joel hisses, rolling his hips up and his hands flatten against the wall. The heat, the pulsing heat of your cunt tells him that you are still here. Letting him feel it. Turning his head, his lips press against yours for a long moment before he ever starts moving.

His tongue slides into your mouth and you finally feel safe. Since Bill and Frank died, you’ve been on edge, unable to sleep properly, but now he’s here, you know you’re in good hands. He’s capable, secure. You tilt your head back against the tile, letting the water run between you as he pushes into you, setting a slow but deep pace that has your cunt getting wetter and wetter around him.

It’s not as harsh as the first time, this is deeper. A reassurance that both of you need and he could never ask for. Making him feel every flutter of your cunt, heat every gasp. Rocking into your like it’s the last thing he will do. It might be, who knows what could happen? Life wasn’t guaranteed, like he’s been shown so brutally over the last few days.

Your hands are everywhere, caressing him, running through his now damp hair, down his chest, loving the steady thump of his heart under your palm. “I love you. I love you.” You whisper, trying to tilt your hips until he hits the right angle that has you moaning his name. You know he’s not an emotional man. He’s not verbally or physically affectionate but no one is in this new world. You’ll take what he gives you, eagerly and readily. You wrap your arms around his neck, keeping yourself upright while he fucks into you.

His lips trail along your skin, desperate for the tenderness that you show him. It’s greedy, but he’s never claimed to not be a greedy man. His hands grip your hips tightly, as if he’s afraid you would get away from him. “Fuck.” He moans out your name. “So good, I would stay here with you. Right here. Never leave.” He groans quietly.

You wish that was possible but you know he has to find Tommy, get the girl to where she needs to go. You don’t reply, just lean in to press your lips to his. His cock is pushing deep inside of you, your cunt dripping wet now, and you know you’re going to ache when he’s done.

Joel knows he’s not going to last for long, letting one bruising hand go from your hip to slide between you. Turning his wrist so he can rub your clit. It might be a long time before he gets a chance to fuck you and he wants to make it good for you. You whine into his mouth and he groans, flicking his tongue against yours as his fingers work your little bundle of nerves.

When his calloused digits rub your clit, you whine into his mouth, so close to cumming. “Fuck. Oh fuck baby. I’m - Joel.” You pant, tilting your head back as he hits just right inside of you and you are pushed over the edge. You bite down on his neck, smothering your cry as you cum, clamping down on his cock as the water continues running over his back.

Joel grunts, pushing into you harder and faster. The slap of his hips echoing the bathroom. Growling as he gets closer with every unhinged thrust. Pumping his cock into you a half dozen more times before he is pulling out, not even needing to stroke himself as he spurts against the shower wall.

You pant, watching him as he closes his eyes, trying to process how he feels and you give him several moments until you’re reaching for the shampoo. “Come here.” You murmur, pulling him back towards you. You reach up to lather up his hair, washing it and massaging his scalp.

Joel closes his eyes and sighs softly. “That feels good.” He murmurs, enjoying the feeling of your nails on his scalp. Cumming and getting clean are doing wonders right now, letting the tension fade as the water swirls down the drain.

You work your fingers through his salt and pepper locks, until he is practically slumped against you and you wash the shampoo out of his hair. Grabbing the body wash, you lather up his chest and shoulders, turning him around so you can lather up his back and massage his shoulders. No words are spoken as you take care of him. You want to take care of him.

You don’t stop touching him until the water runs clean. Completed scrubbed from head to toe and Joel feels like he could cry. Unable to remember the last time someone cared for him like that. He turns to you, taking the sponge from your hand. Wanting to do the same for you, since this might be the last shower for a while. “We need to pack supplies.” He tells you, kneeling down at your feet. “You any good with a gun?”

“Bill made sure I could hit a target from across the fence. Wanted backup in case things went to shit. Before I arrived here, I learned how to use one. Needed it to survive.” You sigh when his hands scrub your skin, tender and opposite of Joel’s gruff nature. “I’m good with a knife too. Can take out infected.” You confess, knowing you might need a little practice on that one since Bill’s traps always worked so well with the infected. “I left the radio off. Just in case and maybe we can come back here one day.”

Joel nods but he doesn’t want to tell you that it probably won’t happen. “Pack what you need.” He tells you. “We’re gonna be cramped in that piece of shit truck of his.” Joel had ragged on Bill for the little S-10, but damned if he still didn’t have a running car.

You know it’s a pipe dream but it will keep you going through the dark times. You finish washing up, stepping out of the shower after turning off the water. “I’ll go get enough food for us. Non perishable and - and Bill has ammo in the basement. More weapons.” You tell Joel, leaning in to kiss him softly, “I’ll go get you some more clothes.” You wrap the towel around you and Joel grabs onto your waist, pulling you back towards him, pressing his lips to yours. His hands cup your cheeks and you smile against his lips. “Clothes.” You remind him, pulling away so you can dress.

Joel dries off, aware that he will face some shit from the kid, but he doesn’t care. He isn’t going to just pretend like you don’t matter to him. Opening the medicine cabinet, he pulls out the deodorant and swipes some under his arms before he picks up your comb and slicks his hair back. Humming to himself at the tired image in the mirror. You seem to like him, so that was favorable, but he sighs, looking down at his hand where the scabbed skin is starting to heal. Soon you will have to leave this little heaven and there’s going to be a lot of trouble ahead. But he won’t leave you behind again. He’s taking you with him.

You come back with a set of clothes - Frank’s old clothes - and you get dressed while he goes downstairs. “Don’t you look pretty?” Ellie teases Joel who stares at her, resisting the urge to roll his eyes, and he tosses the deodorant stick towards her.

You come downstairs after packing your bag and you see Ellie holding a box of tampons. “Do you know how to use those?” You know, she likely doesn’t but you want to help her if she needs it.

“Nosebleeds?” Ellie asks sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “I’ve had a period since I was ten.” She informs you, making Joel wince since that’s information he does not need to know.

“Hey, be nice, she’s a nurse.” He informs Ellie meaningfully. He knows you are just trying to open a line of communication with the girl.

You sigh, sending that she’s going to be your typical teenager. “Well, if you want any advice on that, I’m here for you.” You tell her, making your way into the kitchen to find your emergency first aid kid. You shove that into your backpack and grab the spare to start getting the tinned and dry food. You put the bottle of whiskey in there and decide to take the last bottle of Beaujolais, knowing that Bill would want you to enjoy it.

“You ready?” You ask Joel when he comes back in.

He nods, “battery is charged. You ready?” He asks you, knowing this is a huge step.

You nod, “yes, I’m ready.” You are ready to leave, you’ll follow Joel to the end of the world if you have to. He playfully smacks your ass when you walk into the garage and when you’re in the car, you sit in the backseat since Ellie has never been in a car before.

“It’s like a spaceship.” She says in awe and you giggle at the amused look on Joel’s face.

“Seatbelt.” He tells you, his eyes meeting yours in the rear view mirror and you follow his order. Ellie has to be helped and finally, Joel starts the car to drive away from the house. You turn to look at your home, silently saying goodbye to Bill and Frank, when Ellie grabs the tape and Joel puts it in.

The sweet voice of Linda Ronstadt fills your ears and Ellie wants to change it but Joel stops her. He knows the song but he doesn’t know what it meant to Bill and Frank…you do. You wipe your eyes, mourning your good friends and the life they provided you as you follow the man you love on his mission to find his brother and deliver Ellie to the fireflies. Let’s just hope she is the key to the end of this nightmare. Looking back at the house one last time, you wonder if you’ll ever make it back here. Maybe one day, you’ll be living here with Joel…enjoying your happily ever after.

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ilikereadingthisiswhatilike · 8 months

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Joel Miller

A collection of Joel x reader stories. None of the stories are mine.

No Smut

Brain Scramblies @strang3lov3 Summary: Bubbly and sweet Reader slips and falls at Tommy and Maria’s anniversary party, hitting her head hard on the floor. Tommy tasks Joel, her grumpy patrol partner, with getting her home safe. In her dazed state, she spills to Joel how she really feels about him! Basically two idiots dancing around their feelings for each other. Warnings: Alcohol Special Tags: Fluff

You Don't Belong @toxic-seduction Summary: You really like Joel, more than you’ve ever liked someone before. But the most important person in his life absolutely hates your guts and you have no idea what to do. Warnings: Angst, Fighting, Lanugage Special Tags: Fluff

Old Soul @softlyspector Summary: You’re never quite sure of your place in Joel’s life. Everyone else seems to know exactly what it is. Warnings: Angst, Mental health, PTSD Special Tags: Fluff

Seams @fuckyeahdindjarin Summary: Joel has to visit the local seamstress. Warnings: Language, Sexual Tension Special Tags: Multichapter

Your My Sunshine! @littlelou22 Summary: You and Joel are polar opposites. you are sunshine while he is cloudy. but you’re his sunshine and he doesn’t quite know how to handle that. Warnings: Angst Special Tags: Fluff

Pretend @littlelou22 Summary: Joel ends things with you, leaving you in the dark as to why. Will the two of you get back together or stay apart? Warnings: Angst Special Tags: Fluff

Lovers and Love. @peterparkersnose Summary: Y/N tries to hide that she is pregnant and Joel finds out. Warnings: Angst, Pregnancy Special Tags: Fluff

Your Gentle Comfort @mentallyunstablegoldfish Summary: Your interest in boys didn’t really exist in your life. It wasn’t until you met your new teacher and had a relationship growing with him that you realized, you wanted a man. Warnings: Emotional neglect, Kidnaping, Sexual Tenson Special Tags: Teacher AU, Multichapter

Smut

Hostage @ATTICRISSFINCH Summary: When you get lost in the woods, a stranger offers to help you get back to your camping site. When your gut tells you to run, you run–until he catches you. Warnings: Rape, Kidnaping, Angst, Weponds, Blood, Violnace, Degradation Special Tags: Serial Killer AU

Bail @Toxicanonymity Summary: Joel gets a call from Tommy in the middle of the night. When he gets home all he wants to do is spend time with the reader. Warnings: None Special Tags: Free Use

Talk Me Down @hellishjoel Summary: You’re finally ready to sit down and discuss your obvious daddy issues. Your therapist, Joel, has his methods. Warnings: Mental Health Special Tags: Age Gap, Therapist Au

Carnal @pascalsbby Summary: You thought you had it all figured out before him. Animals. Tender, primal flesh. That’s what we are at the end of the day, no? Fucking, testing one another and then eating each other alive, heart first. Maybe the heart is the sweetest part of the body- or maybe it’s just the easiest to get to. You knew you wanted to be completely devoured by him. You wanted to fill the space between his teeth. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent, Voyeurism, Stalking Special Tags: Dark, Age Gap

Choke On It @djarin-dreams Summary: They’re both members of the Jackson community, often put on patrols together. Reader has a penchant for destruction and rage, especially in the face of self-preservation. Sometimes, they just want to be able to let go. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent, Violence, Degradation Special Tags: Dark, BDSM

The Special One @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel like the taste of your blood. Warning: Blood, Kidnaping Special Tags: Vampire AU

Hot Single Dilfs In Your Area Want To Chat! @walkintotheriveranddisappear Summary: Hot single dilfs in your area want to chat, and you're more than willing to comply. Warning: Language, Voyeurism, Age Gap Special Tags: Multichapter, Dirty

Sleep Bliss @creedslove Summary: You and Joel used to share a sleeping bag when you were on the road. Once you got to Jackson, he made sure to put an end to this habit, but now his nightmares are back to haunt him again and he needs your help Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Masturbation

Burn For Me @psychedelic-ink Summary: Joel looks after you, provides for you, fucks you until the sun comes up; his only ask is that you never leave his apartment, not willing to face another loss. One day when you find the door unlocked, you decide to take stroll, promising yourself that you’ll be back before he returns home. Warnings: Dubious Consent, Special Tags: Stockholm Syndrome

Pay Girl @the-comorbidity Summary: Sex was a commodity in the QZ, and Joel Miller would do (and pay) damn near anything to have you Warnings: Prostitution, Language Special Tags: None

Kept Woman @slow-motionlovepotion Summary: Pleasure has a price and Joel is willing to pay whatever it takes to have you Warnings: Language Special Tags: Possessive, Multichapter

Winter Coat @dev1lm4n Summary: You gave a blowjob to trade for a winter coat back in the dark days, little do you know, that same guy is now your neighbor. Warnings: Language, Prostitution Special Tags: Multichapter

Prostar @dev1lm4n Summary: There's one thing you've been obsessed with and it comes in the form of a man trapped inside your 13-inch laptop. who would've guessed that wicked fantasies would be a part of your host family and a teacher to all your risky endeavors? Warnings: Language, Special Tags: Multichapter, Pornstar AU, Age Gap, Dirty

Fatherless @weirdfangirl Summary: You offer yourself to a complete stranger in order to survive. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent Special Tags: Age Gap, Possessive, BDSM

Virgin Patrol @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel just wants you. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent Special Tags: Age Gap, Virgin Reader

Snack Brake @joelscruff Summary: You’re just can't keep quite. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel

My Boyfriends Dad @jksprincess10 Summary: When you meet your boyfriend at his family house, you find out he’s at a party and cheating on you. Your boyfriend’s dad offers to take care of you and show you what a real man is like. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel, Dirty

Quicky @joelscruff Summary: Joel is your boyfriend’s dad and you’re fucking him in secret. that’s it. reader is of legal age. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel

Jealous @eufezco Summary: You're a little jealous of Tess. Warnings: Angst Special Tags: None

Daddy Issues @alien-magnolia Summary: Reader has new Daddy Warnings: None Special Tags: Daddy Kink, Hyperfem, Dom/Sub, Dirty

What you’re missing @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel use reader in her sleep. Warnings: Rape Special Tags: Somnophlia, Dark

Making Diner @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel uses reader while she cooks. Warnings: None Special Tags: Free Use

House Arrest @shadeysprings Summary: Your mom goes to attend a work conference for a couple of days, leaving you home alone with her husband. Warnings: Rape Special Tags: Step-Incest

Pillow Princess @ninebluehearts Summary: Reader is a Pillow Princess Warnings: None Special Tags: Hyperfem, Dom/Sub, Dirty

i wanna be your lover @shellshocklove Paring: Joel Miller X Reader Summary: Miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred? Warning: None Special Tag: Dirty, Porn Star AU

give in @cupofjoel Summary: Joel shows you how to love yourself the way you deserve. Warnings: None Special Tag: Soft

Red Light @kiwisbell Summary: The men you keep bringing home are no good for you. It's up to your landlord Joel to protect you from heartbreak. Warnings: Murder Special Tag: Landlord AU

Truth or Dare @joelscruff Summary: harmless game of truth or dare ends with you tied up in a certain mysterious neighbor's garage. Warnings: Age gap Specials Tags: Bondage, Dirty

Crave @allfoolsinluv Summary: You've been babysitting for Joel and Tess for quite some time now. It's a good gig to have while you're working towards your degree. You like them a bit more than you probably should. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Muilty chapter.

Copycat Killer @beskarandblasters Summary: Joel is a famous singer and Copycat Killer is an obsessed fan. She’s willing to do anything and go anywhere to learn more about Joel. Warnings: Drinking, Drugs, Dub con, Specials Tags: Rock star Au, Stalker Au

Ft. Tess Servopoulos (No Smut)

Gone Soft @blathannabeaga Summary: They are soft only for you. Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Poly

Misunderstanding @pettyprocrastination Summary: You misunderstood Tess and Joel relationship Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Poly

My ex boyfriend’s parents @jksprincess10 Summary: After discovering Chad was cheating on you, Joel offered you to show you what a real man felt like. Now, his wife was taking part of it as well. Warnings: Mentions of Cheating Special Tag: Poly

Smut

Strangle Love @ozarkthedog Summary: Joel & Tess find you beaten and bloody on the streets in the q zone. they bring you to their place to nurse you back to health but when you try to leave they aren’t so quick to let you go. Warnings: Rape, Abuse, Violence, Drug Use Special Tags: Poly, Dark

Mare Nostrum Mediterranean Grill @punkassfrance Summary: Your first job would have been stressful enough if you didn't have to deal with mind games from Joel and Tess. But god, you couldn't bring yourself to complain. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Poly, Voyeurism

Ft. Tommy Miller (Smut)

Sharing is Caring @inlovewithquestionablecharacters Summary: The brothers decide to share you. Warnings: Possible Incest, Dirty Special Tags: Poly,

Close Your Eyes, Pay the Price for Your Paradise @ozarkthedog Summary: Hitchhikingis especially dangerous during the outbreak. Warnings: Rape, Abuse, Violence, Kidnaping Special Tags: Poly, Dark, Multichapter

#joel miller x reader #joel x reader #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #x reader #joel x you #joel x y/n #the last of us #joel miller x tess servopoulos #joel miller x reader x tess seropoulos #joel miller x tommy miller #dark!joel miller

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agentmarcuspike · 11 months

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"candles" by daughter + tess & joel

#someone asked for more pain?? :)#joel miller x tess servopoulos #tlou #the last of us #tess tlou #tess servopoulos #joel miller #joel and tess #madeamoodboard #idk how i feel about it but #my least fav of the ellie ones got more love so

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wakandas-vibranium · 11 months

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Swingin’

Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader x Tess Servopoulos

Warnings: 18+ content, minors DNI, smutty smut, threesome, unprotected p in v sex, oral(f receiving), slight teeth kink, praise kink, size kink

Word count: 2.2k

Summary: Reader swings both ways and finally gets Joel and Tess where she wants them.

A/N: Just felt like writing something for my fellow bisexual babes! Please like, comment, and reblog!

You've known for quite some time that you had a crush on both Joel and Tess. You were attracted to them despite the fact that they were so intimidating. You hadn't been in the QZ long when you started hearing whispers about Joel and Tess, two badass motherfuckers who didn't fuck around. You had no choice but to meet them, being the rebellious little shit you were. They had a hushed air of danger about them that made your nipples hard if you thought about it too long late at night. To your surprise, they both took a liking to you. Before you knew it, you were a member of their ragged team, backing them in making runs outside of the QZ.

The three of you had a contact, Joey, who lived in Springfield. He paid you all to smuggle his weapons into the QZ. He paid well and could be trusted, Joel and Tess guaranteed you the first time you smuggled with them, and that was good enough for you. It was about a week’s journey there and back.

The three of you were headed back to Boston and decided to rest in one of the abandoned houses you’d spotted on the way there. It was the most decent house in the neighborhood. The smell was bearable. There was a couch and a mattress in pretty good shape.

“Who’s taking first watch?” Tess asked.

Before you could say ‘not it’ Joel spoke up.

“I got it,” Joel said as he waved you both off to the bedroom, “You ladies try and get some sleep.”

“Night Joel.”

“Night.”

You followed Tess down the hall into the bedroom. She sat on the mattress, and you unrolled your sleeping bag, pausing as you felt her gaze on you and heard her scoff quietly.

“You alright?” you asked.

“Come over here,” Tess called.

“Huh?” you replied, unsure of what she was asking.

“You’ve been eyefuckin’ me and Joel all day,” she said, smirking at the small gasp of surprise you made, “How about you come do it for real.”

You pinched the loose skin around your elbow to ensure you were awake. You had one too many naughty dreams that started out something like this. You slowly inched your way over to the mattress, sitting down next to her.

Fuck, her intense gaze was making you nervous.

“You want me and Joel to fuck you, right?”

“You have no idea,” you replied, moaning softly as Tess spread her legs.

“What do you want right now?” she asked, gazing into your eyes.

“I want to eat your pussy,” you admitted, unable to hide the desire in your eyes.

“I want that too,” she said with a small smile.

Tess leaned in close and gently brushed her lips against yours, playfully teasing. You cupped her face with your hand as she ran her tongue slowly along your lower lip, seeking permission. You opened to her and kissed her back immediately, the kiss swiftly becoming passionate as your lips moved together. The kiss was electric, everything you'd dreamed for and more.

You moved your hand down her neck, interrupting your kiss to help her in lifting her shirt over her head. You grasped her breast through her bra and worked your way down her torso until you reached the top of her jeans. You unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans, sliding your hands in her pants and locating her clit. It felt soft and warm against the pads of your fingers.

“Make me cum,” she whispered against your lips.

You started rubbing small circles into her clit, relishing the dulcet sounds that emerged from her lips. For a brief moment, you wondered what Joel was doing back in front of the house. If he saw you two, would he watch for a bit before joining? You wanted him too. Carnally.

Tess panted against your lips as her orgasm approached. You kissed her deeply as you applied more pressure against the bundle of nerves.

There were so many things you wanted to do to Joel and Tess, and so many things you wanted to do with Joel and Tess. You fantasized about riding Tess's face while simultaneously choking on Joel's cock. It was definitely something you had to do before dying.

“Cum for me, Tess,” you purred against her lips, rubbing her clit in tighter circles.

You were surprised by how vocal Tess was when she came. She let out a loud shout, and her thighs trembled slightly. Joel definitely heard her moans, and the fact that she didn't give a single fuck about it had you throbbing in your panties.

“Fuck Tess,” you mumbled in between kisses, “You’re so pretty when you cum.”

You trailed your finger down her slit, gathering more wetness, before taking your hand out of her jeans and bringing it to your lips for a taste.

“Well I’ll be…” Joel blurted as he entered the room with a small grin on his face, shoes and socks already off. “Y’all weren’t gonna invite me to the party?”

“Of course we were,” you motioned for him to come closer. Tess shot up from the mattress, pulling you up with her.

"I want to cum on Y/N's tongue," Tess announced as she began to remove the rest of her clothes.

“And I want Y/N to cum on my cock," Joel added as he yanked his shirt over his head and stepped out of his jeans and boxers.

“And I've wanted you both for months now," you admitted as you followed their lead, stripping butt ass naked. "So everybody gets what they want."

The three of you ogled each other once everyone was completely naked. When you caught a glimpse of Joel's cock, your thighs clenched involuntarily. He was huge.

Tess followed your glance and grinned before saying, "Oh, you can take it."

You shot her a bird, and she and Joel chuckled, shaking their heads fondly at you. Tess leaned back onto the mattress, and you followed her, kissing her lips once before moving down her neck to lick at her pink nipples. Joel just stroked his cock while he watched the two of you.

You knelt, presenting your ass to Joel and positioning yourself directly in front of Tess's cunt. Joel leaned forward to kiss both your asscheeks before smacking them. Of course, he was an ass man, you thought, amused.

You hooked your hands beneath Tess’s knees, lifting them and pulling her closer till her dripping cunt was closer to your face. You groaned softly, transfixed by the glistening pink folds in front of you. Tess had such a pretty little pussy. You couldn’t wait to bury your face in it. Her juniper-colored eyes sparkled with anticipation.

You rested your hand on her pelvic bone and thumbed her clit tenderly, letting her smooth, dewy hairs caress the inside of your palm. Her eyes fluttered closed as she tossed her head back in delight.

Joel kneeled behind you, smacking your asscheek as he admired your pretty pussy, "So goddamn wet for me, baby."

You were so turned on and nervous that you couldn't decide who to focus on. You were feeling a little overwhelmed. You'd had a couple of threesomes in the past, but never with people you liked this much. This was Joel and Tess, for fuck's sake.

You didn't want to screw this up.

You couldn't.

Joel sucked on two of his fingers before pushing them inside you, getting you ready to take his impressive cock. You let out a soft moan and arched your back. His fingers felt so good inside of you.

Once you were used to his fingers, you shifted your focus back to Tess, leaning closer to her juicy pink cunt. Tess shuddered under your touch, a tiny squeak of pleasure slipping from her lips as you replaced your thumb with your mouth, clamping your lips over the bundle of nerves and sucking with hard tugs.

You pulled back some, saying, "Fuck, I knew you'd taste good, baby," pushing a finger inside of her before teasing her clit, flicking it left to right with the tip of your tongue. Tess's eyelids fluttered open, and she leaned back on her palms, moaning loudly as she watched you bury your face between her smooth thighs with heated eyes.

“Just like that, baby,” she encouraged, hands moving to the back of your head so she could grind her pussy against your face. You moaned against her as Joel tapped his cock against your entrance, teasing you with small prods.

“Goddamnit Joel,” you mumbled as he continued to tease your drenched hole.

You had an inkling that Joel would be more of a teaser, and it was bittersweet to know that you were right. You didn't want to be teased right now. You wanted a nice pounding, and maybe for him to make fun of how wet you were for him a bit. You'd waited long enough for this day to come.

“Shit,” Joel hissed lowly as he finally pushed the head of his cock inside of you, “Such a tight little pussy.”

You sucked in a deep breath, wincing a little at the intrusion. It'd been a while since you'd had a cock in you, let alone one as massive as Joel's.

“He’s pretty big, huh?” Tess laughed through a moan, smirking at the face you made as you tried to adjust to the overwhelming feeling of Joel’s fat cock stretching you open.

“Fuck you,” you giggled softly as you nipped at her thigh in retaliation. She just moaned and fell back on her back against the mattress. Tess was into biting, you thought. You definitely made a mental note of that to come back to later. You dipped a second finger into her entrance and stretched her open, allowing your tongue to slide in and lap at her folds.

He rolled his hips a few times, carefully pulling out, before pushing all the way to the hilt in one swift move, causing you both to let out a loud groan. He set an impeccable pace, deep and slow. His cock was so massive it didn’t matter how he fucked you just as long as he did.

“Oh my fuckin’ god,” you whimpered as Joel thrusted faster inside you, hard and deep. Not too fast as he didn’t want to interfere with the substantial head you were giving Tess, but just enough to loosen the tight coil that sat deep inside your belly. It wasn’t going to take you long to cum. Not with how perfect Joel was fucking you and not with the sexy noises slipping past Tess’ lips.

You’d pinch yourself if your hands were free. You couldn’t believe you were fucking Joel and Tess. At the same time. You’d been daydreaming about this for months.

“Y/N,” Joel and Tess groaned in unison, voices dripping with arousal. Them calling your name like that drove you mad and only made your clit throb harder.

“Fuuuck!” You cursed, letting out a muffled whine as Joel brushed over that delicious spot deep inside of you.

Tess tightened around your fingers as her thighs shook wildly. Her head thrashed from side to side against the mattress, moans growing louder as her climax approached swiftly.

“I’m gonna cum,” Tess whined as she pushed your head closer, grinding down even harder on your face. Goddamn she looked breathtaking. Unapologetically taking whatever she wanted from you.

“Mmhmm, I can feel it,” you grumbled against her sensitive clit, thrusting your fingers faster and applying more pressure, hooking them upward the deeper you got, “Cum for me, Tess.”

Tess came with a loud shout, her back arching off the mattress, legs trembling, and fingers tight against the back of your hair. Your tongue lapped at the fresh rush of sweet wetness. She tasted so fucking sweet, like nectar.

“So. Fuckin’. Sexy.” Joel growled as his lust filled eyes bore into Tess’. He smacked your asscheek before his grip on your waist tightened like a vice, “You’re next.”

“Jo— Joel,” you mumbled in between pants. He was hammering into you with all he had, chasing his own orgasm along with yours, “I’m cu—”

“—I know, baby,” he chuckled softly as your thighs began to shake and you clenched around him so tightly, “Be a good girl and cum with me.”

You weren't sure if it was his praising words or his fat cock, but you came almost instantly. A staggering overflow of ecstasy washed over your entire body, causing you to cry out and shake violently, hot tears stinging your eyes. You sank your teeth into the meat of Tess’s thigh and she came again, surprising you both.

Joel came so hard that he had a hunch in his back. He panted harshly as he stroked his cock, covering your asscheeks with warm ropes of his cum, and his knees finally gave out, causing him to fall on top of you, pushing you down on top of Tess.

Tess didn't even complain about the additional weight on top of her. She was too blissed out to give a damn. All three of you were basking in a warm state of euphoria. Your shoulders shook as you erupted into a fit of giggles. Tess soon followed, and then Joel started to chuckle.

Yeah, you thought to yourself. This was definitely going to be happening again. And again and again.

And again.

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jksprincess10 · 1 year

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My ex boyfriend’s parents || Joel x Tess x reader

AN: So i’m nervous af to post this. It was long awaited, a lot of you asked for a part 2 of this fic. It can also be read alone. It was my first time writing a threesome, so I hope it’s okay.

This is for the bi/pan girlies or they/thems only.

Summary: After discovering Chad was cheating on you, Joel offered you to show you what a real man felt like. Now, his wife was taking part of it as well. (no outbreak AU)

CW: threesome, cunnilingus (fxf), voyeurism, exhibitionism, masturbation, unprotected sex, praise kink, nicknames (babydoll, sweetheart, etc.), weed consumption.

That special night, Tess simply watched as her husband took care of you, until you were too tired and had to leave, but with the promise of seeing them again.

Back to his usual gaslighting, Chad had tried calling, but you ignored his calls.

When the number called again, you heard Tess’s familiar voice on the other end. She had left a message.

This time, your ex boyfriend’s parents met you in your small apartment. You didn’t want to risk seeing your ex again by coming to their home.

But… you wanted to see them. You wanted to feel the same high as you felt last time. You were chasing after Joel’s raspy voice, after Tess’s softness. They were two contradictions, yet, they fit together perfectly. And they could give you everything you wanted.

You awkwardly stood in your living room and gestured to your whole apartment. There wasn’t much to visit but it’s all you could afford.

“So, this is it. Make yourself at home…”

Tess abandoned her handbag on the floor and came up to you with a smile. “It’s nice, sweetie. Cozy, too.” She cupped your cheek with her soft hand, making you blush.

Joel was standing behind her, hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“You look nervous.” He stated.

You bit your lip and sat on the two-seater couch. “It’s just… I’ve never done it with more than one person.”

“Aw, isn’t she cute being all shy and nervous, my love?” Joel’s wife asked him. He smirked and nodded.

“We can help her relax…”

He bent down to grab his wife’s bag and retrieved a small pack of joints.

As the smoke filled your lungs, you felt more at ease. Joel had sat beside you, while his wife was sitting on a chair from your kitchen. She looked at the two of you with interest, waiting to see who would make the first move. You just told yourself fuck it, and went for it.

When you finished smoking and after you abandoned the joint in an ashtray, you climbed up on Joel’s lap, your ass sitting on his thick thighs while your back was pressed to his chest. His free arm held your waist, while his other one was busy still holding the joint to his lips.

“Babydoll, you’re bein’ so good for me. Can ya feel how you makin’ me feel?” He lifted his hips a little, so you’d feel his hardness.

“Yes…” You turned your head to press a kiss against his rough cheek.

You didn’t even see Tess getting up and approaching the two of you like a hungry feline. She kneeled in front of you when you finally noticed her. Her soft hands caressed your clothed thighs.

“What do you think… about us making you feel good, sweetheart?” She pressed a kiss to your knee, beautiful eyes looking up at you.

“Please.” You breathed.

Joel crushed the rest of his joint in the ashtray. Then, his hands found your stomach under your shirt, going up slowly to feel your naked breasts. Your whined needily. Tess laughed softly, amused by your reaction, as she slid down your pants.

She smiled as she discovered the skimpy underwear you were wearing. “Not so sweet after all…”

Joel looked down to admire your lace panties. He groaned in approval, and leaned down to kiss your neck. “Babydoll, aren’t you naughty? You really wanted this, didn’t you?”

You nodded shamelessly. Tess’s index and middle finger slid on your covered core, feeling how wet you were. Satisfied, she pulled you in for a kiss.

It was a lot, all at once; Joel’s open-mouthed kisses on your neck, while his wife’s tongue was exploring your mouth. Her kiss was slow, sensual. While you were concentrated on kissing her back, her fingers slid in your panties and felt your bareness.

“F-Fuck…”

“I’m gonna prepare you real good, make you cum a few times, so Joel can fuck you freely. Sounds good?”

“Y-Yes.”

Her fingers circled expertly your clit. It was your first time getting touched by a woman. You knew you were attracted by them, but you never had the chance to act on your need. It just confirmed how you felt.

To get a better access, she slid down your panties, and you kicked them away. Joel’s calloused hands took care of your bare thighs, spreading them for her wife.

“Such a perfect pussy.” The woman said, her pale eyes admiring your cunt hungrily.

She leaned in, her face disappearing between your thighs. She licked at your folds eagerly, not taking her time, and focusing on making you cum. You squirmed, moaning freely. Joel occupied one of his hands with your boobs, fingers playing with your hard nipple.

“You like this, babydoll?” Joel’s raspy voice asked in your ear.

“Y-Yes. I like it.”

You were closing your thighs, you were so close, but Joel hand held them open. Tess sucked around your clit, guiding you through your first orgasm with her. Even after you were done, she kept going, making your legs shake under the caress of your oversensitive pussy.

“Joel, you wanna touch her?” Tess asked against your wet skin, leaving a kiss behind.

“Yes.” His fingers sneaked under your leg, and he inserted a finger in your wet heat. He felt you tighten around his digit, as Tess went back to eating you out. The combination of Joel’s thick finger curling into your heat and Tess’s rough sucks on your clit sent you over the edge again and again. The sensation of your numerous orgasms and the left-over high made you dizzy.

Tess took a break, moving away so she could look at Joel inserting a second finger.

“You’re doing so good, sweetheart.” She praised.

You blushed under her burning gaze. While Joel was still taking care of getting you ready for his cock, Tess pushed your shirt away to look at your tits.

“So pretty…” She cooed.

The combination of Tess’s words and Joel hitting that sweet spot over and over made you spill around his fingers with a loud cry.

“I think she’s ready, what do you think, babe?” Tess asked her husband.

Joel’s fingers left you empty, filling your mouth instead. You sucked on his digits, tasting your salty juices.

“She is. C’mon, let’s go to the bedroom, babydoll.”

In your bedroom, you realized how small your bed really was when three people were trying to fit in it. Joel got rid of his clothes, and you took off your shirt completely.

You were totally focused on the graceful movements of Tess taking off her clothes. She had small, perky breasts, and a toned body. Miss Miller was as beautiful as her husband. She smiled at you when she saw you were looking at her.

Joel’s body took over yours, his large shoulders dominating you completely.

“You did the tests we asked you to do?” Asked Joel, while he was spreading your thighs. He pumped his cock a few times, while your gaze devoured the way his rough hand was stroking his length.

“Yes. All clean.”

“Good girl.” Mr. Miller smiled.

Tess laid beside you on the bed, her face turned to look at you. You met her pale eyes with yours and kissed her while Joel was inserting his bare girth between your opened thighs. Feeling him like that was different, and it was even better than the last time. You let go of Tess’s lips to concentrate on the rough pleasure Joel was procuring you.

Beside the two of you, Tess was pleasuring herself lazily. She could get off on the simple view of you getting railed by her attractive husband.

Your arms circled Joel’s neck, bringing him closer, as he was fucking you deeper, hitting that sweet spot with his tip. You muffled your loud moans against his lips, kissing him clumsily, teeth clashing. You could hear Tess’s sighs. Your walls tightened around Joel, your back arched and you abandoned your body to your sweet release.

“So tight… g’nna make me cum. Where d’ya want me, babydoll?” He asked between rough thrusts.

“Inside. Please.”

Joel shot warm ropes of cum inside you. In your blurry state, you could also hear Tess coming.

Your ex boyfriend’s parents let you calm down, both holding you close. Not long after, Joel got up to use your bathroom.

As he was coming back, he heard your phone ring. He answered. Chad’s sorry voice was on the end.

“Stop calling her, son.”

He slammed the phone down before he could even answer.

You were Miss and Mr. Miller’s toy now.

#tess servopoulos #joel miller x tess servopoulos #joel miller x reader #joel miller x tess servopoulos x reader #joel miller smut #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x yn #tess servopoulos x you #tess servopoulos x reader #tess servopoulos smut #bfd!joel #bfd!joel miller #bfd!joelmiller

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seventeenpins · 5 months

Text

never pegged you for a quitter

pairing: QZ!Joel x F!Reader x Tess

word count: 1.7k

summary: Joel gets pegged.

content/warnings: literally just Joel getting pegged. contains--threesome, pussy eating, choking, anal, fingering, fucking w a strap-on.

a/n: just a quick thought written whilst i've been procrastinating. pls someone peg this man. please.

The room was getting dark, the natural light that had been sifting through the moth-bitten curtains starting to wane as afternoon shifted into evening. The last of the setting sun shone through the panes in cuts of vertical light, bathing Joel golden, the fluff of his hair a soft halo.

"Really," Joel grumbles, his eyes dark and jaw ticking, "You need to do all a'that?"

"C'mon, Miller. Quit whining, this whole thing was your idea and if we're gonna do it, we're gonna do it right."

"Fine, fine."

Tess grins wickedly, admiring the way he's folded over, bare ass in the air, his tensed forearms pressing a heavy dip into the bed, bearing most of his weight. "Know you can take, it, Texas," she praises.

He huffs.

The room was cool, but you could see sweat start to bead at his temple when he turns back to look at you, and on the scarred plane of his back. His breathing had started to come in soft little pants.

You press a second finger inside him slowly, gently. Your entire hand was slick with lube at this point, your fore and middle fingers pumping slowly in and out of him, going a little deeper with every press, scissoring him open nice and sloppy.

"How's it feeling?" you ask.

"Honestly?" he frowns, "It feels like taking a shit in reverse."

Tess snorts and set off a chain reaction, the three of you suddenly shaking with laughter as your fingers still sit buried buried in his ass.

"You're really paintin' a picture here," Tess tells him, and he laughs again, but this time the movement makes him twitch backwards and inadvertently presses your fingers deeper and lets out an "Oh--"

"Oh?" you ask, and Tess is smirking.

"Yeah-," he nods and lets out a little moan that he nearly tries to swallow. "Yeah," he says again, voice tight, "Tha's it."

Taking the encouragement, you start pumping your fingers into him a little harder, a little faster, hooking them just so until he's moaning again and again.

A week earlier, Joel had walked in on you and Tess in the middle of a particularly good session. You hadn't expected him back for hours, so you figured you'd have your own fun and gear back up for round two when he got back.

Instead, he'd walked in right at the moment Tess came a fourth time, screaming and sobbing and gushing on your strap--a new acquisition you'd found on a run but hadn't had a chance to try out yet.

He'd never minded before when you played without him. Hell, you and Tess had been hooking up for years before you'd met him, so he certainly didn't have any claim.

But he'd never seen you with a strap, and he'd never seen Tess fucked quite like that, and certainly not by anyone but him, hissing and sputtering and convulsing with the sheer magnitude of her orgasm. You were on your knees, holding her up by her calves, ankles hooked around your neck while you kept a tight hold on her throat. You could feel the sweat on you, dripping from your temple, making your back and chest sticky, one bead falling from the tip of your nose down between your tits and then landing on her. Neither of you caring one bit--the wetter the better.

Seeing her dazed, soaking your cock, something akin to jealousy washed over Joel. But no, not quite jealousy. Or rather, not jealousy that you were fucking her like that. Rather, jealousy that you were fucking her like that.

He realised with a start, he wanted to be on the receiving end.

You saw the moment, too. Turned towards him the moment you heard his footsteps and heard the hitch of his breath, saw the way his eyes widened and his jaw ticked, until he noticed that you were watching him. Then, his stoic mask of neutrality returned.

But you saw the way his cock was tenting his jeans.

Saw the way his eyes flashed. How intently he watched the two of you.

You and Tess placed a bet; how long would it take for him to acknowledge it, outside of the moment.

He wasn't exactly the most open guy, so you guessed three weeks, and under the influence of pills or booze. Tess guessed two months, same circumstances. You were both wrong.

To the astonishment of both of you, it was only three days later when he approached you together and, shockingly blunt, put the request to you.

"You wanna fuck me with that strap?"

As a general rule, Joel's kinda quiet. Not that he's not able to raise his voice--he can and he does. And he'll get in moods, every once in a while, after he's heard from Tommy or you have a particularly good run, where he's not exactly happy or open but he is a little less guarded.

But you don't think you've heard him quite like this before.

His chest is heaving--heavy, ragged breaths. You're pressing the head of your artificial cock into his hole, and entering with a glide. You hold him by the hip to steady him, refusing to let him buckle as you pound into him. With your other hand, you press between his balls to feel the very root of his cock. When you first rub your thumb against it he's surprised, nearly jumping at the contact. You press the digit harder and stroke him between the balls and he lets out a moan. It's beautiful, and neither you nor Tess have ever heard that from them before.

It only eggs you on.

"Those fuckin' sounds, Joel," Tess growls, "I wanna feel those moans on my pussy."

He lets out a grunt of affirmation, uninterested in forming any actual words. Tess leans against the headboard and spreads her legs, glistening cunt bared for both of you to see.

You love her like this. Toned stomach. Muscled thighs held open, damp curls leading down to her drooling lips.

You wish you could be a creature of infinite tongues and infinite hands and infinite reach; want more than anything that you could fuck Joel and press your fingers into his mouth, stroke his cock, lick Tess's dripping pussy and pinch at her nipples, grab at her waist, her hip, her thigh, all at the same time.

But you're only a person, so you steady Joel as you fuck into him harder and take your pleasure from watching the way he hooks his hands under her thighs and pulls her towards him, tongue laving over her wet folds. You cherish every moan you pull from him, and Tess buries her fist in his hair, pulling him in even closer as she rubs her clit harder and harder against his willing tongue.

"Fuck, Joel, yes-" you gasp and he shudders. The base of the strap rubs against your clit deliciously and you can feel yourself getting close.

"Takin' this cock so nice," you praise him, "I know, I know-" you soothe, "It's big, huh? You're doin so good, so fucking good-"

He is still moaning as he devours Tess, and he's getting louder and louder.

"That's it," she breathes, desperate and hungry, "Doin so good, takin care of this pussy, fuck Joel! Don't fuckin stop-!"

As you've been fucking him, you've been ignoring his cock, applying pressure only at the base. Now, you wrap your hand along his weeping, neglected length and rub your thumb over the tip, gathering the dripping liquid.

He exhales something of a sob, and the sensation tips Tess over the edge. She's shaking and convulsing on his tongue, but she doesn't let go of his hair, and he keeps licking into her as she rides it out and keeps going.

You stroke his cock in smooth, fast strokes, your wrist flicking at the end, thumb and forefinger creating a tight circle, choking his tip.

With the grip on his cock, and the angle of your thrusts, he's shaking now, too. The tip of the strap presses just right into him, brushing against his prostate, making him see sparks.

"Mmmpphhh-" Joel grunts, and Tess pulls his head off of her.

"What was that?" she asks, and he whines.

"Gonna-" he's panting, brows furrowed as he looks into her eyes, but speaks to both of you. "Can't- can't stop. Gonna- fuck, I'm gonna come!"

Tess grins and pulls his mouth back down to her. You keep fucking into him in long, deep strokes that make him twitch with each thrust. "Come for us, baby," you tell him, and grab him by the balls.

You can feel the way he tenses, and the way his balls tighten and pull up towards his body.

Then he's coming with a cry that not even Tess's cunt can muffle.

He comes in heavy, thick spurts, again and again, painting the bedsheets, shaking as he rides it through, squirming with your cock still pressed deep in his ass.

"Good boy," Tess praises as she pulls him off her drenched pussy and strokes his hair. You can hear the shake of her voice, the way it's gotten huskier. Spent. "Did so good for us."

You hold him by the hip and pull out, delighting in the way he crumples at the loss of sensation.

He buckles and lands on his mess, seemingly unbothered. He rolls over and looks up at you both, and he's grinning. You've never seen him quite like this, this totally blissed out.

"Look at that, Tess," you joke, "I think he might need a cock up his ass more often."

He rolls his eyes, but he's still smiling.

"C'mere," he says, and splays his arms out. You undo the harness and let it fall, and then nestle into his side. Tess slides in behind you. Low lamplight illuminates the room, a soft yellow blanketing the space.

He takes a deep breath, still trying to even out his breathing altogether. "Thank you," he grunts.

"'Course." you press a kiss to his temple.

"Now, you better not be too worn out," he warns, "Cos you ain't come yet."

You raise an eyebrow.

"Ten minutes," he tells you, "Just need ten minutes."

He looks between the two of you.

"And y'all better not start round two without me."

#joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #tlou #joel miller x tess servopoulos

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corazondebeskar-reads · 4 months

Text

ain't no rest for the wicked — chapter one

ain't no rest for the wicked series

one: ain't no rest for the wicked

series masterlist | next chapter

Tess Servopoulos x f!reader x Joel Miller

words: 6.2k

summary: after an unfortunate encounter, you catch the interest of two very dangerous, very beautiful strangers.

warnings: dark-ish Joel and Tess, smuggler!Joel, smuggler!Tess, boston QZ, QZ life, poorly negotiated d/s dynamics, poor communication, enthusiastic consent, oral sex (m & f receiving), stalking, canon-typical violence, ik i usually use game joel but anna torv has me in a chokehold sry, bittersweet ending/no happily ever after

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

You’re eager. Joel doesn’t need to push your face into Tess’s cunt; you’re already diving in when he does.

But he knows Tess likes it like that. He likes it like that. He thinks you like it, too, from the way you’re moaning while he smothers you in her wet folds.

He lets you struggle for air for a moment before yanking you up by the hair and licking the taste of her from your mouth. He lets you go after, lets you properly worship her.

Thing is, you’re not really sure how or why this is happening. Well, you know how you got here, factually. It just doesn’t make any sense.

You had been cornered in a dead-end alley by two thugs. They had knives and no ration cards and were looking to make a trade of sorts. You were trying to argue that maybe they could keep their knives; no, really, you weren’t in the market, but you’d gift them the cards.

They seemed concerned you’d go to FEDRA since they hadn’t bothered to cover their faces. You were wearing them down a little, trying to negotiate, when one of them hit the ground and was dragged into the darkness. There was nothing to obscure the cries and wet sounds of knuckles meeting soft flesh.

“I thought I told you to stay out of this part of town,” a woman said from behind them. It was like a scene from one of your noir detective novels with the cracked spines and crinkled pages—a shadowy alley with one flickering light, a mysterious savior from the darkness.

The other would-be robber turned on his heel to face the voice.

“We-we didn’t realize this was part of yours,” he said. “It’s basically Robert’s.”

“But it ain’t,” she said. “And you fuckin’ know better.”

If the apocalypse had angels, they’d look like her. Tall, commanding, and piss-your-pants terrifying. Her mousy brown hair was as lackluster and dirty as everyone else, but you wanted to run your fingers through it. Wanted to tangle your hand in it, searching out her dusty rose lips.

Reality returned in the form of a hulking man tossing the beaten crook onto the ground by his partner, who stopped mid-plea with the woman to check on them.

You tore your eyes away from her to look at the battered but still-breathing man and followed the line of his attacker’s jeans to look at the monster who had emerged from the shadows. You were startled to find him looking back at you, eyes dark and intense. He was broad and rugged, with blood smeared on his cheek and fists.

Your eyes darted between him and the woman.

She was speaking to the last man standing again. “You need Joel to show you out?” She jerked her head at tall, dark, and haunted.

You locked eyes with Apparently Joel again before he looked at the simpering man and sneered. He didn’t even have to say anything. The thug was pulling his partner to his feet and trying to flee without looking like they were fleeing.

“They hurt you?” Joel said. When you didn’t respond, not really realizing he was addressing you, he rolled his eyes. “You, girl. Did they hurt you?”

“Oh, um, no. They just took my cards, but I’m okay.” Your tongue stumbled under their scrutiny. They were maybe two of the prettiest people you’d ever seen since the world ended, and you could feel your face heating up. “But, um, thank you.”

You wavered in place, wanting to get the hell out of there. They weren’t quite blocking your path, but the space they took up meant you’d have to get close to one or both of them to leave.

“Y’mean these?” Joel drawled, holding up your small stack of cards.

“Yeah,” you said. You bit the inside of your lip. He wasn’t holding them out for you to take, and you weren’t naive enough to think they’d just give them back. Their motive had definitely not been to save you; it was just a fortunate side effect.

Joel exchanged a look with the woman, thumbing through what was your only guarantee of food for the next couple of days.

“Not much here,” he told her.

She looked you over, which only made your heart beat faster, shifting your weight from one foot to another. “That all you got?”

You nodded.

“How bad do you want them back? I heard what you were offerin’ up earlier.” She smirked.

You really did not think you could get more mortified. “I-I—”

She strolled closer to you. “Y-you what?” she mimicked. “Pretty thing like you should be more careful out here. What’s your name, sweetheart?”

You don’t know why you told her. Okay, fine, it was because she was so close and she smelled so good, and her eyes—well, you’d probably have told her anything right then.

“I’m Tess, that’s Joel,” she said and jerked her head back to where Joel leaned against the brick of a towering complex. He jerked his head in acknowledgment, jaw twitching.

“You got anyone out here looking after you?” she asked.

You opened your mouth, but seeing Joel flipping absentmindedly through the stack formerly known as your meal tickets shook you out of your stupor. Fuck, you were too fucking bi for this. And also, you hadn’t gotten laid in like. God, had it really been three years?

Anyway, your brain kicked back into gear. “Y-yeah, I’m supposed to be getting home to my family. They’re probably getting worried.”

She smirked, and you knew you were cellophane. “Alright, get goin’ then.” She looked over her shoulder at Joel. “Give her the cards, Tex.”

She didn’t move to let you by, so you sidestepped and tried not to walk too fast, even though you knew they could probably smell your fear like the predators they clearly were.

Joel didn’t hand you the cards right away, but he grabbed your arm when you were close. “You see those guys again, you tell ‘em we’ll be watchin’.”

You looked at him with what you meant to be a questioning expression, but it felt like you probably just looked dumb. He put the stack of cards into your coat pocket and let go of your bicep.

“See you around,” Tess called as you made your escape.

See you around? See you around?? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

When you get back to your apartment, you lock the door and slide to the ground, trembling as the adrenaline lets you realize just how fucking close you came to getting gutted.

And now there’s them.

“We’ll be watching,” Joel had said. Watching who? The leaden ball that used to be your stomach knows he meant you. They’ll be watching you. But fucking why?

Nobody’s home. Of course nobody’s home. You’re the sole resident of your tiny studio cube, save for the mice that you can’t keep out in the chillier seasons.

You probably could. But you don’t have the heart. They only come in the bathroom through the shitty insulation for the defunct vent. You keep the door shut with a towel jammed under it, and you leave crumbs on the peeling linoleum before bed.

It’s not something you’d ever have done before. But you know what it’s like now, to be cold and hungry in a world full of monsters.

Your brother used to say you were too soft for the world, and that was before the world went to shit. In fairness, you were a lot tougher now, for the most part.

Had to be, after you shot him in the head three weeks into the outbreak.

You jam your fists into your eyes and rub, clearing away the image with the ache.

Fuck, you almost died today. They had gotten the jump on you after you stopped to tie your sneaker. When you stood up, you weren’t alone anymore.

You’re upset about it for a few days, hustling through the crowds with your head on a swivel. After that, it joins the rest of your fears as an apparition, haunting your apartment’s groaning pipes and creaking floors.

All you can do is tell yourself the same lie of a mantra you do every night—I’m safe here.

As if such a thing were even possible.

The pendulum of your daily routine keeps on swinging. You keep your head down at work, quick with “yes, ma’am” and “no, sir,” quick on your feet when asked to hop to, and quick in hurrying home as soon as your shift ends.

Which is why you’re dismayed when you come in one morning to find out your direct supervisor was killed. Nobody cares why or how, just that there’s a spot to fill. They stuff you in it.

You deliberately did not overperform to avoid this, but if you refused, you’d be out of a work placement. The only thing keeping you from screaming was that the position got you a bump in ration class.

It’s barely a supervisory position, but each new responsibility is a sandbag tied to your ankles—you’re supposed to be on the same schedule, but inevitably, you’re there later and later each week.

So you become one of the apparitions in your apartment, half awake, floating through the motions while everything slips through your grasp.

Despite the better payout, you often don’t make it to a distribution stand before curfew. You can’t risk walking home with several days of class Bs, or you’d be dead in the gutter long before you made it back. So you take your one day’s worth and accumulate a little stack of cards under a loose floorboard.

You’re in the back of the line one evening, hoping you’ll make it to the front before they shut down. It’s raining in that way where the sun is out, though low on the horizon, the city trapped between two forces of nature.

The universe has a fucked up sense of humor because suddenly, so are you.

“Hey, sunflower,” croons a voice like honeycomb, quiet and close on your left.

You twitch forward, nearly jostling the woman in front of you, head whipping around.

“Eyes forward. Just listen,” rumbles a much deeper voice from the right.

You knew people had gotten in line behind you. You hadn’t known you’d been cornered.

“Thought you’d be eating better by now,” Tess says. “Guess you’ll have to come by for dinner. Tomorrow, right after work.”

Joel grunts in agreement. “Don’t let ‘em keep you late again.”

Then there’s silence. You wait a minute and then peek over your shoulder, but they’re gone.

What the actual fuck.

By the time you reach the front, you’ve decided it was a hallucination caused by whatever is splitting the atmosphere into two conflicting weather conditions.

But when you reach into your jacket pocket and pull out your cards, there’s a single class A ticket atop your stack. When you lift it to look closer, a scrap of paper almost falls into a puddle. You snatch it and take in the small letters, all caps in smudged black ink.

It’s an address.

It’s not until you get home that you replay the “conversation.” What had Tess meant by “thought you’d be eating better by now?”

It made sense, if they were watching you, that they’d know you’d been staying late. But what made them think you were getting better rations? Were they watching you so closely that they’d seen your tickets?

There’s a warning sounding in the back of your head, about as subtle as a tornado siren. You chuckle nervously to yourself as you stand in the middle of the kitchen-living-bed-room. It was an absurd thought. There’s no way they knew you got a promotion. And there’s definitely no way they… made it happen.

Denial brings your racing heart to a slow as you plug your ears to the danger. After all, you were a midwestern girl. You didn’t cower in the basement every time the siren went off, or you’d live life underground. So unless the sky swirled sickly green, or, say, they told you they killed your boss, you wouldn’t worry.

Nothing to it, really.

You were no one, after all. No one, who was being invited—as if you had a choice—to dinner with two violent strangers.

If only it didn’t make your panties damp, maybe you’d have the sense to skip out. You could politely excuse yourself the next time they popped up over your shoulder like a fucking slasher movie.

You can’t focus all day at work. You sit at your desk, trying to fill out the inventory sheets, foot tapping, leg bouncing. Your dad always used to tease you, “you gearin’ up to take off?” when you got nervous. It was a bit like the cordyceps. The more anxious you got, the less control you had of your body, the energy spreading and blooming and fuzzing over your brain.

By the end of the day, you’re tapping fingers, twisting your seat side to side. When your boss comes over at two minutes before you’re set to leave, you know he’s about to ask you to stay for “just a bit.” But you’ve already got your jacket and backpack on, you’re sitting on the edge of the stupid squeaky rolly chair, and when he opens his mouth, you beat him to it with a laugh that’s not not hysterical.

“Have a great day!” you blurt, and you’re up and gone before he can respond.

Once outside, though, you hesitate. You’re bouncing on the balls of your feet, hands shoved in your pockets. It’s not raining today, but it’s overcast in the foretelling of the encroaching winter. The scrap of paper crinkles in your fist, dampening a little as your palm becomes slick with nerves.

“You comin’ or what?” Joel says from where he’s leaning against your office building, just to the left of the exit.

“Fuck!” It comes out in a truly embarrassing squeak.

He raises an eyebrow.

“What was the point of the little magic trick,” you waggle your fingers at him, “with the address if you were going to pick me up anyway?”

He pushes off the wall with his shoulder and starts walking, leaving you to jog after him. “Tess thought you seemed a bit squirrely.”

“If I didn’t want to get hit by a car, I’d get out of the fuckin’ road,” you say, a triggered muscle memory morphing another one of your father’s favorite phrases. Though, it was usually after he plowed over a fuzzy little guy, and you cried about it.

Joel shoots a glance at you over his shoulder. “Who’s the car?”

Your face heats. “What?”

He shakes his head but lets you off the hook. There’s something dangerous about the quirk of his lips, though.

You follow him as he weaves through the streets and crowds. People move out of his way, a few even scrambling off in another direction. He doesn’t miss them, eyeing and seeming to make a mental note each time.

You do not want to know why they were running.

His little jumpscare and the ensuing amount of focus it took not to get lost in the throng of others helped tone down your anxiety. Instead, you become very distracted by the way his denim button-down, stretched across his shoulder blades like it was clinging on out of the same fear of Joel as those runners.

God, he’s broad. Your mouth waters a little, thinking about running your hands across the breadth of his shoulders. Maybe digging your fingernails in a little.

He checks again to make sure you are still behind him and catches you moistening your lips with the tip of your tongue; the hungry look in your eyes matched by the way you were clenching the straps of your backpack with strained knuckles.

Luckily, he misreads it. He shakes his head again. “Calm down, we ain’t gonna hurt you.” But it’s invalidated a little when he turns back forward and shrugs a little to himself, head jerking to the side as if to say, “Well, probably not.”

You weren’t scared, but you are now.

He doesn’t wait for you as he climbs the stairs of the apartment building, but he leaves the door ajar for you to follow through a minute later.

“She try to chicken out?” Tess asked Joel with a shit-eating grin.

“No!” you protest. “I was comin’.”

“Were you?” Tess steps into your space, leaning forward. “Good girl,” she murmurs and reaches over your shoulder to shove the door shut. You stumble back a little, colliding with the reminder that your escape route is gone.

Worse yet, you have to witness them share a look when her words send a shudder through you.

She laughs, a soft huff of amusement on an exhale, and turns and walks away.

You stay glued to the ground in front of the door.

Joel’s still standing in the living room, arms folded. “Get goin’,” he says when you don’t move.

You shuffle under the arch where Tess disappeared into a small dine-in kitchen, with Joel suddenly close enough behind you that you could feel the heat radiating from him. He reaches past you and pulls out a chair at the table.

You try to scoot out of his way so he can sit, and he sighs, shaking his head, and guides you into the seat by the shoulder. His palm covers the whole joint, splayed across with his fingers brushing your collarbone.

A shocked “um” slips past your lips as you sit.

“Um?” he says, eyebrow quirked.

You’re burning. You’re on the edge of a fucking volcano, apparently, with the way you’re boiling under your jacket. You shuck it off, shaking your head. “Um, nothing.”

Tess sits across from you, elbows on the table and hands folded. You squirm under her steady focus, only to startle again when Joel sets a plate in front of each of you.

“You always so jumpy, sunflower?” she asks, taking a glass of water from Joel when he comes back over. He sets another next to you.

“No,” you say weakly.

Joel sits down between you with his own plate and glass, and your head snaps to look at him. He raises an eyebrow again. “You sure about that, sunflower?”

“Um, no,” you say. And then, stupidly, you tell them your name again, because it seems like maybe they forgot.

“I know,” is all Tess says.

Joel snorts.

“Be nice,” Tess says, still not taking her eyes off you.

Vaguely, you know she’s doing it on purpose. They both are. They want you off-guard and on-edge.

“Eat,” she tells you, finally breaking away to dig into her plate. Joel’s already halfway through his, not bothering to wait.

You look down, blinking at the sight before you. There’s mashed potatoes with gravy. There’s corn. There’s mystery meat, but it looks like some kind of roast, and most shocking of all, there are spices.

It’s definitely all still canned rations, but they’ve taken the effort to do something with them. The meat’s been broiled, and the juices saved for the gravy. The corn is roasted. And the fucking spices.

You eat a lot faster than you mean to, eyes wide. You usually eat your rations cold out of the can before passing out for bed. This is… this is incredible.

“Slow down,” Joel says. “You’re gonna make yourself sick.”

“Where’d you get herbs?” you blurt.

It’s Tess’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “You sure you want to know?”

“Oh. No, thank you.” Definitely not. You definitely do not want to know anything even potentially incriminating. You’re starting to feel like just being here is enough to get you in trouble.

The table falls into a stilted silence, and you have a bizarre thought. A memory, useless information from the before dug up by the wet blob of anxiety you try to pass off as a brain.

They’re beautiful and terrifying. They don’t seem the type to do something without getting something out of it. They brought you into their lair, and you ate from their table.

Your grandmama’s tales don’t seem very far-fetched right now. What was it she always told you to do? Hang a horseshoe over your door?

Where the fuck were you going to get a horseshoe in post-apocalyptic Boston?

The thought is so absurd that you laugh out loud, drawing both sets of eyes to you at once.

“Sorry, sorry, I just—remembered something, it’s not—it’s nothing.” You bury your face in your hands.

“Stop glowering; you’re going to give her a nervous breakdown,” Tess says to Joel.

“She’s scared of you, too,” he says simply, sipping from his water.

“Is that true, pretty girl? Are you afraid of us?”

You lift your head up, and though your instincts to run like hell are flaring up, you figure there’s no point in lying. “Well, yeah.”

“We’re not going to hurt you,” Tess says, and then, in a horrible moment of deja vu, she seems to rethink that and shrug with one shoulder and a tilt of her head.

You look between them. “That’s not comforting.”

“I mean, we won’t hurt you unless you want us to,” she says. Her smile reminds you of a fox.

“Why would I—oh.” You purse your lips and feel like you’re shrinking.

Joel gets up and clears the dishes but doesn’t retake his seat. Instead, he looms behind you, both broad hands on the back of your chair. “We’re not gonna make you do anything you don’t want to,” he rumbles close to your ear. “But we think you might want to.”

“What do you say, sunflower?”

It slips out. You don’t mean to say it; it’s just a habit deeply engrained from work. But when your mouth opens to ask what exactly they mean, you say “yes, ma’am” instead.

Joel chuckles, a dark and dangerous thing that blows his hot breath over the exposed side of your neck. You shudder but don’t dare look away from Tess, whose grin has turned into smug pleasure.

“Told ya,” she says to Joel, standing and coming around the side of the table to where you are and taking your chin in one hand. She presses a chaste kiss to your lips. “I know a good girl when I see one.”

She tilts your head up so you watch. “And a good boy,” she says before kissing Joel.

He melts into it, and you moan. Like for real life, out loud, watching them kiss. She pulls away from him when she can’t hold back her smirk.

His eyes are soft when he watches her step back. She tightens her grip on your face.

“All yours, baby,” she says to him.

The softness is gone when he looks at you. His eyes are dark and hungry, and he takes your face in his own hands before kissing you. Unlike the sweet exchange with Tess, this kiss is bruising, and he licks into you without hesitation. One of his hands tangles in your hair and pulls your head to the side so he can bite his way down your neck.

You’ve got whiplash, and he grins when he lets you go and takes in your glazed eyes and swollen lips.

“C’mon,” Tess says, turning to go back to the living room. Joel tugs you up and pushes you in front of him to follow Tess. You yelp when he pinches your ass, though you probably should have expected it.

Tess sits on the couch, and your mouth goes dry as Joel kneels at her feet. You drop to yours, and Tess quirks an eyebrow at Joel.

“That how you want her?”

He shakes his head and pushes you down so you’re bent over in supplication below him.

“Don’t move unless I tell ya,” Joel says. “You need or want to stop for any reason, just say so. Got it?”

You moan at his words, no longer having the wherewithal for embarrassment. You’re starting to become very aware of your place in this. And it’s fucking thrilling.

He lifts your head by a handful of hair. “I asked you a question.”

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s a good girl,” he murmurs, letting your head back down and running his hand over your cheek.

“You like havin’ a little toy for yourself, baby?” Tess asks him, running her fingers through his hair and tugging a little.

He moans. “Yes, ma’am, thank you.”

“See, sunflower, Joel here’s been a real good boy, but sometimes he needs to play a little rough. Ain’t that right?” She nods his head with her grip on his hair.

“Please,” he whimpers.

You’re soaked. You’re fucking soaked, and all they’ve really done is talk.

“You wanna be a good girl for us?” Tess asks.

It’s your turn to whimper. “Yes, ma’am. Uh. And sir.”

“We’ll go easy on you today,” she muses. “What do you need from her, baby?”

Joel doesn’t need to think it over. “Need to fuck that pretty little mouth,” he says.

It’s so crass that you flush, wet gathering rapidly between your thighs. You squirm a little.

“Ok,” Tess agrees. “You can have my sloppy seconds.”

And then she’s tugging her pants down, letting Joel lean forward to grab them as she lifts her hips. He yanks them off and folds them, setting them to the side.

You keep your cheek pressed to the carpet where he put you, watching the motions with rapt awe. You’re betrayed, however, by your wriggling feet.

“S’matter?” Joel says.

“What? Um. Nothing.”

He raises an eyebrow, but it doesn’t spark anything. Your eyes dart back and forth between them.

“I’m gonna let that slide, since you’re getting used to it. But if you address me, you better do it proper.”

“Oh.” The realization leaves you on an exhale. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“Atta girl,” he says with a little pinch to your chin.

Tess nudges him with her foot and shoots a laden look at where you’ve fallen very still, and the taut line of your spine has softened a little.

She smirks.

It doesn’t last, though. You’re biting your lip and looking at him while your right foot taps against the floor.

He turns back to Tess, rolling her panties down until he can tug them off her feet and tuck them neatly into the fold of her pants.

He reaches over and presses his thumb to your bottom lip until it pops free from your teeth. Your mouth falls open in its wake.

“Up,” he says.

You push up onto your knees and watch as he leans forward to press a soft kiss to her cunt. He nuzzles in a little, nose nudging her clit as he tastes.

She lets him for a few seconds before tugging him back by the hair. “Don’t be selfish.”

He looks at you and jerks his head.

You shuffle forward, and he puts both hands on your shoulders to shove you between her thighs, arranging you so he can kneel, chest flush to your back.

You shiver.

“Ever eaten pussy?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you say, a little breathless, while he leans around, boxing you in with his arms while he spreads her lips. You take in the way she glistens, and your mouth waters. “It’s been a while, though.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he murmurs, deep and close to your ear. “S’like riding a bike.” He strokes a finger over her clit, and her cunt clenches around nothing.

“I don’t know how to ride a bike,” you say, and wonder why.

Joel, to his credit, just shakes his head and ignores you.

“She likes a little figure eight here,” he says, head still bowed conspiratorially as if she couldn’t hear every word. “And if you switch between fast n’ gentle here,” he presses his finger to the first knuckle inside her.

He pulls it out and pinches her labia between his index finger and thumb. “Suck here, and bite soft.”

It’s like they’ve dragged you in from a blizzard. Everything is so hot; your pulse throbs in your fingers, and you’re sweating as if bundled in front of a hearth.

“Please?” You whisper. You’re not sure who you’re asking.

Tess laughs, a soft and pleased thing you haven’t heard yet. You want more.

And that’s how you ended up here, somehow still fully clothed, swirling your tongue against her clit.

Joel pushes your shoulders down so you’re bent over at a sharper angle. He solves the clothes problem by tugging your jeans and underwear down to your knees.

“Go on,” Tess tells him around a soft moan.

You’ve worked your tongue gently inside before diving in for more, lapping at her like they hadn’t just fed you the best meal you’ve had in years.

Your efforts stutter when Joel’s hot mouth latches on to your cunt. You cry out but get your act together quickly, nuzzling in like he had done earlier.

Her fingers grasp at your head, grinding your face down where she needs. At the same time, Joel has his hands around your thighs, fingers pressing tight enough to leave a mark while he feasts.

You can’t tell, as focused as you are on your own task, but he’s studying the way you twitch and gush with each motion. He’s a quick learner and soon has you struggling to keep up.

When you press two fingers into her cunt, Tess rewards you with her orgasm as you suck and lick her clit. You take everything she has to offer, which is when Joel yanks you away from her to share in the indulgence. He works a second orgasm from her very quickly. When he’s done, he pushes you to the ground and returns to work at you.

“Gonna cum for me, sweetheart?” he growls. “Come on, give it to me.”

And you do. He’s relentless, and your body responds to each touch from his broad fingers and broader tongue. You’re vaguely aware of the scrape of his teeth on your clit, the ferocious way he slams his fingers into your aching core as you shake apart around him.

He’s hesitant to pull away when you come down from it, but you’re squirming a little from the intensity, and he’s got a dark look in his eyes anyway. “My turn?” he says.

“Go ahead, baby,” Tess says. She’s sprawled languidly on the couch, one hand between her legs, gently rubbing at her clit while she enjoys the show.

Joel pulls his cock out, and even though you’re exhausted to the point where you can’t hear your thoughts over the pounding of your heart, you lurch forward immediately.

It’s gorgeous and engorged, impatient after waiting so long. You reach for it first, one hand cupping his heavy balls and the other sliding down the velvety length of him. Your mouth follows close behind, licking at the slit.

“Think you can take it all?” he says. “You ever deepthroated someone my size?”

“No,” you admit, “but I’m a quick learner.”

His responding grin is wicked. “Good. I got a lot to teach ya.” And without further acclimation or dramatics, he grabs the back of your head and pulls until his cock hits the back of your throat.

You gag, of course, coughing and sputtering. He eases up to let you back, but you don’t pull all the way off. You take a minute to breathe around him and swallow him back down.

He lets you set the pace for a minute, groaning as you bob up and down, swirling your tongue around and moaning at the way his salty musk mixes with the sweet tang of Tess.

He lets you pull off, even, watching to see what you do when left to your own devices. You stroke his cock in one hand and cradle his balls in the other, nuzzling and licking them before taking them in your mouth one by one to roll on your tongue.

He moans but tugs you away after you properly worship both.

“Y’got a sweet little mouth, sunflower. But I need ya chokin’ on it now. Just stay nice and open for me.”

With no further preamble, he holds your head with both hands and fucks into your mouth.

You’re not too surprised to find yourself on the edge of an orgasm. Back in the day, when you were still trying to pretend normal life was possible and playing at being a girlfriend, sucking cock had been a favorite pastime.

Granted, Joel’s cock was another beast entirely. Maybe literally. Your brain pulls itself together long enough to reconsider the fae theory before he fucks the thought out.

It’s a fucking mess. You can barely close your lips around him, drool slick on your chin. The only mercy he grants is when a particularly rough thrust has you tapping his leg, afraid you might puke.

He pulls back, hand tipping your chin up to check you over, but you’ve recovered already and strain to get your mouth back around him.

He relinquishes, letting you slide him down as far as you can.

He chuckles. “Looks like we got a real cockslut here,” he says to Tess.

She grins. “I dunno; I think she might just be a slut in general. Pretty needy for my cunt, too.”

His hand strokes your cheek as he picks the pace back up. “That’s a good girl. Fuckin’ take it. Shit,” he groans as he works deeper yet.

“Ah, fuck,” he gasps, tearing his eyes from you to seek out Tess. “Please?”

“Please, what, baby?”

“Please, can I cum down her throat?”

“Not yet,” she says.

He whimpers but doesn’t dare disobey. His thrusts are frantic and harsh as he fights the urge.

“Sunflower, d’you think you can cum when he does?”

Your eyes roll back in your head. “Mhmmm,” you moan around him.

“Alright, baby. Give it to her.”

And fuck, does he ever. He buries himself deep, and for a moment, you think you’re not actually going to be able to handle it. But the feeling of him twitching and the sound of his pleasure are enough to push you over the edge, overriding your gag reflex.

“Oh fuck,” he repeats. “Oh shit. That’s it. Fucking take it all.”

When he pulls his softening cock from you, you sway forward a little. He catches you with hands on your shoulders before sitting on the ground in front of the couch and pulling you roughly into his lap. From the couch above, Tess reaches to run her hands through his hair before rubbing a hand on your shoulder.

You wrap a hand around hers, hoping she won’t pull away. She doesn’t, instead tucking a thumb over your hand to hold you there. Your head tilts back against Joel’s shoulder as her other hand cups the back of his neck.

He presses a kiss to the top of your head and then leans his back to rest against her hand.

The sun has tucked down behind the rise of the city, and the post-orgasmic reality is settling on your shoulders. As much as they had made a place for you for that blissful fragment of time, you’re suddenly hyperaware of your intrusion.

“Where’s, um. Where’s your bathroom?” You ask.

Tess directs you, and you pry yourself from their warmth and tug your jeans back up. You wipe away the evidence of your adventure and stick your face under the cold faucet to clear the lingering haze from your brain.

They’re still sitting when you come back out. Joel’s on the floor with his knees bent and legs spread, leaning back to where Tess has his head in her lap. She’s running idle fingers through his hair.

You don’t want to linger and get kicked out. It’s not that you don’t know what this is; you just want it to end on your terms. When you shoulder your bag to broadcast your intentions, Joel gets to his feet.

“Let me walk ya home,” he says.

“Oh, I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

He scowls. “It’s gettin’ dark.”

You give him a wan smile and rub the back of your neck. “I’ve been walking myself home in this city for years.”

It’s not like you’re stupid enough to think they don’t know where you live. But this way, you can still pretend.

“Yeah, and look where that got you the other night,” he says.

Tess stands and stretches and nudges Joel. “Down, boy,” she teases. “Let ‘er go.”

“But really,” she says while you tug on your boots. “We thought you’d be eating better. You need another promotion?”

You look between her and Joel. “No, I do not.”

“It’s an easy enough problem to solve,” he says with a shrug.

Oh god. “No, please don’t solve anything. Let’s, uhh, let’s just never talk about this again.”

“We can just—“ she starts, but you plug your ears.

It’s too late. Joel’s smirk could silence the birds. And you know, once you’ve heard the whistle, the twister’ll be deciding your fate soon.

“Suit yourself,” Joel says.

“Okay, well, um,” you say, backing into the hall. “This has been really great and so weird, but, um, it’s almost curfew and—“

“See you later, sunflower,” Tess says as you close the door behind you. It doesn’t sound like a casual, rote farewell. It sounds like a promise.

next chapter

*title from "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" by Cage the Elephant

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x tess servopoulos #joel x tess #joel x reader x tess #joel miller x reader x tess servopoulos #tess servopoulos x reader #tess servopoulos x you #ain't no rest for the wicked series #the last of us fic #the last of us smut

186 notes · View notes

psychedelic-ink · 11 months

Text

𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞

pairing: joel miller x tess servopoulos

genre: smut, romance, angst, hurt comfort, minors dni

word count: 9.4k

summary: To put it simply, Tess did not want to exist but did so anyway. She stared blankly at everyone and everything. Her mind and heart urged her to make the smart choices. She was quick to eliminate the possibilities that might cause her death. She assessed the weak links of the group. Stayed clear away from them.

Smart choices. She blamed that part of herself for wanting to approach the Millers.

Or alternatively, the story of how Joel and Tess met and how they came to be.

warnings: canon typical violence, suicidal thoughts, mention of past suicide attempt, grief, loneliness, mild spoilers for the HBO show/podcast, timeskips, joel has a bit of a pain kink, piv, marking, biting, hair pulling, dirty talking, oral sex (female receiving), blood, wound cleaning, mention of body hair, dissociating for both

a/n: yes I changed the title from "the seed" to "spitfire" due to a specific scene that wasn't yet written (or even an idea in my brain) when I posted the sneak peek. I've been in love with these two ever since I watched the gameplay and my love only grew with the show. writing this was definitely out of my comfort zone but I enjoyed it and hope you guys will enjoy reading it 💜

Tess was alone. Her loneliness burned through her skin, hallowed out her eyes, and drew deep lines across her face. She was so very tired. Every muscle ached. Even her heart. She didn’t want to cry about it. Early on she figured that the wetness of her eyes meant nothing to this new world. It didn’t gather sympathy. Only made her into a mark. Once she saw her reflection in the water. Before she was made a part of the group. It made her feel sick to her core. Everything was just so meaningless. It didn’t suit her to show that weakness. It wasn’t worth the strain on the muscles of her face or the ache in her heart.

The group found her. There was an issue if she was worth it or not, but thank god for her wits and unyielding tongue, she was made part of it quite quickly. They were heading to Boston.

She didn’t bother with learning their names. They all did despicable things in the name of survival. Horrid things. Things that gave her nightmares and forced her eyes to open at night. She would wake up drenched in sweat, her heart racing as she looked up at the stars. The stars she remembered gazing upon with her family. A husband. A son. All gone. She closed her eyes in a weak attempt to shut down her mind. But of course that didn’t work. It never did. In fact, she was quite sure it did the opposite. Memories would come rushing back. The moment she held him for the first time in her shaking arms. The moment she left him locked inside his room. Condemning him to live out the infection alone.

She could still hear the banging of the door sometimes.

A month later a pair of brothers joined them. Joel and Tommy Miller. Tommy did most of the talking, convincing them that they would be a helpful addition. The other one—the older one, Tess guessed, was not as keen. Clearly joining just to be near his brother. They were quick on the trigger which was enough for them to be included. Tess had no intention of befriending them. Or anyone else for that matter. But Joel. . . she could see some use that could come out of him. She could see a pain similar to hers. Something that ate him from the inside out. His gaze only softened when he thought no one could see, and only when he was staring at his brother. It would usually be something mundane. Either Tommy would be cleaning out his rifle or putting on his shoes. In those times Joel’s eyes became soft, dark grief blurring the lines of the color.

The group dwindled. Most of them died, one by one. Leaving only a handful of them. Tess didn’t know why but she had this insufferable instinct to stay alive. She didn’t understand it. Before the outbreak she never fancied herself being a person who contemplated the meaning of life. She just lived. She had a job, a husband, a cute son. That was meant to be her meaning, wasn’t it? During the night when darkness stretched out and drowned out the shine of the stars, she found herself thinking about it a lot. Tess knew she didn’t want to live. It was suffering. Hell on earth. It was meaningless. Why was she here when so many others weren’t? Tess scoffed when people mentioned divine punishment. It was stupid. She might be a shit person now, and hell, maybe she did deserve to be punished for the things she did and was going to do. But during the brief period when she was wandering alone, she met some good people. Not a lot. However, she would spit in the face of a god who had decided those handful of people should be punished with the rest of them.

To put it simply, Tess did not want to exist but did so anyway. She stared blankly at everyone and everything. Her mind and heart urged her to make the smart choices. She was quick to eliminate the possibilities that might cause her death. She assessed the weak links of the group. Stayed clear away from them.

Smart choices. She blamed that part of herself for wanting to approach the Millers. A simple exchange for her smarts for their muscle. Tess never had this need to group up with anyone specific in their little crew before. No one had really spiked her interest. Neither Tommy nor Joel seemed like the brightest bulbs in the box but, she had to admit, they had a hell of a way to survive. Tess wasn’t strong. Sure, she aimed right and could stab someone in the neck, but those talents didn’t necessarily mean that she was strong where it counted. Granted, her biggest weapon was manipulation. She hardly found regret when she tricked someone. Why should she? Nothing mattered.

She observed the brothers. Joel was a lost cause and Tess was pretty sure the older brother hadn’t uttered a word to any of them since he joined. His hardened gaze was enough to make anyone cower in fear and stay away. Tommy on the other hand. . . he was approachable. Tess could see that whatever had broken Joel hadn’t had the same effect on his brother. Tommy talked to her sometimes. Asked her where she was from, how did she end up with the rest of this messy bunch—his words not her’s. Tess did answer, some part of her hoping that the titbits of her life would reach Joel. In return for the information she gave, she learned about them as well. Not a lot, but little was still something.

One day she gave the brothers her last can of fruit. She had been hiding it for a while and was planning on eating the sweet, albeit out of date, peaches when her period came. She always ached for something sweet during those times. But she had a plan in motion and in the long run, Tess knew that this small, purposeful, act of kindness would do well for her.

She was right. A week later cold had started to settle into the earth, Tommy brought her a jacket. She didn’t ask where it came from. Nor did she comment on why it was still warm. With a thanks touching her lips, she put it on, ignoring the uncomfortable churn of her stomach.

Joel still didn’t talk to her. Tess noticed him staring a lot. During moments when the fire was crackling, heating up their sore bodies, she was allowed to sit closer to them. She didn’t remember the last time she strived to be closer to someone. She was doing it for her own benefit, of course, but still, Tess had forgotten how to approach people without frowning at how ridiculous it felt to talk about the blossoming flowers. Or the weather.

Every day she felt worse without knowing how to make herself feel better. Every day opening her eyes proved to be more of a struggle. She was in purgatory. Destined to repeat the same sad cycle.

Tommy made her feel a little bit better. He talked endlessly, even when words didn’t need to be said. Tess knew the signs men made in order to distract themselves. Tommy was in pain. At least his own version of it. He lived it differently compared to his brother. Joel sulked, kept to himself, locked himself up tight like a stubborn walnut. In this aspect, Tess felt closer to Joel. She was very much the same. Her desire to talk about her feelings was close to none, and in moments she succumbed to that desire, she felt embarrassed the next day. Almost shy. She recognizes it’s a stupid emotion to have in a world on fire, but something she couldn’t help. Her body had a mind of its own, disobeying her in the most crucial moments. An example of this would be her breathing. She was sick and tired of it.

If there was a god, and she was doubtful of the fact, Tess would want the deity to convince her why she should keep going. What was she fighting for? Why was she here? It was foolish to think there was a higher purpose, she knew there wasn’t one. So why was her body keep fighting on her behalf?

She had too many questions, she realized.

No wonder nobody bothered to show up and spill the cosmic beans to her.

Joel wasn’t expecting Tess to join him during his watch. Or maybe he was, he had no idea what the hell his brain was thinkin’ anymore. He’d noticed the looks. Something was stirring and he could sniff trouble comin’ from a mile away, unlike Tommy, who seemed to be too eager in making friends instead of watching his own goddamn back. Joel had met Tess’s gaze approximately once. Her eyes were green and he thought about how much brighter they must’ve been before all hell broke loose. Now it was a muddled color, a shade of green you would find at the bottom of a polluted lake. Joel didn’t remember why he had looked into her eyes. He thought it was because she said something, or maybe it was Tommy that had said something first. He couldn’t tell the days apart. Every moment bled into one another, turning time into one nonsensical blob.

Tess sat across from him, the fading embers made her skin glow a warm orange. The night had begun to grow longer, the day shorter. Luckily, they were getting close to Boston. Joel couldn’t wait to get rid of the nonessentials that surrounded them. Tommy was fast asleep along with the other two people who remained in their crew. Without realizing it, Joel hugged his rifle tighter. Tess’s eyes followed the moment. Her gaze lingered on the rifle for a moment before meeting Joel’s gaze. She didn’t say anything and it made Joel feel awkward. He cleared his throat and spread his legs wider.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked, understanding instantly that this exact question was what she was hoping for. She doesn’t smile, but her lips mimic the shape of it.

She answered. “Nope.”

Silence.

Since when was Joel disturbed by silence? Never. Not even when it was absolute strangers he was with. He never felt the awkward nature of it. Silence had become his friend, his confidant. He spoke to it without making a sound. In the dead of night, he would move his lips, talking to it endlessly. He had to. He had to or he would go insane—or maybe he’d already passed the line separating the two. Joel wasn’t sure. The line was a blur.

Now, the silence felt menacing. His skin grew taut, his bones stiff. His mouth dry like sandpaper, he swallows, then again and again. Filling his mouth with saliva only for it to go dry a moment later.

“I’d rather be alone,” he grunted, internally flinching at how loud he sounded. Joel was hoping this would be the end of it. The sentence paired with his glare was an excellent people repellent.

She only shrugged, garnering his greatest weapon useless, “And I’d rather stay.”

Joel didn’t know what to say to that. He found her statement to be utter bullshit. No one wanted to stay with him. He wasn’t blind, he could see that over the months his brother grew uncomfortable around him. Hell, not even himself. Instinctively, he touched the scar on his temple, still fresh, pulsing under the pads of his fingers. If she noticed, she didn’t ask.

It wouldn’t have mattered if she’d did. Joel wouldn’t have answered her.

“I know you’ve been sniffin’ around for information,” he said in a firm tone, leveling her with a stern gaze. He felt his cheeks burning but couldn’t quite understand why. It was a cold night. “I ain’t gonna give you anythin’. This ain’t a get-together. We’ll travel to Boston with our skin still in place, if lucky, and that’ll be it.”

“I agree.”

Joel raised an eyebrow, his fingers tightening around the long muzzle of the rifle. “See you say you understand,” he grunted. “But you’re still sittin’ there, eager for a conversation.”

“I never said I wanted a conversation,” Tess answers, her brows inching closer as she assessed him with a humorful smile. It made him feel stupid. Like she was in on some kind of joke that he wasn’t aware of. “I don’t care about you, Joel.”

He blinked, confusion etching into the growing lines of his face. His lips parted, the air between them tense for multiple reasons. Tess sighed and leaned back as she arched her back, her spine craving from the pressure. She looked like a cat in a sunbeam.

“I don’t care about your brother either,” she confirmed something that Joel already knew. “And if I’m being honest, I don’t really care about myself either but here I am, trying to survive. Get to Boston, hope that FEDRA is better there.”

“It won’t be.”

“Well,” she answered, her voice growing soft along with the green of her eyes, slightly brighter compared to that swamp color. “A girl can always dream.”

Unlike her, Joel did not soften. In fact, he hardened. He moved his jaw, locking it tight. His shoulders stayed firm, and his gaze, devoid of any color, looked directly into her own.

“Was there a reason for you you tellin’ me you don’t give to shit about my brother and I or did I miss it?”

“I’m just keeping everything out in the open,” the light faded in her eyes and Joel relaxed upon seeing it return. “I don’t care about you two, you don’t care about me. So how about we make this trip a useful one for the three of us.”

Joel barked a silent laugh, “Are you suggestin’ we team up?” his smirk stretched from one side to another, it felt like his lips cracked with the unpracticed expression. He bared his teeth to her. Leaned forward, the dying embers warming his neck and reddening his cheeks. “There’s no reason for that. We’re already in a group.”

“They’ll be dead soon. And so will we, if we don’t have each other’s backs.”

“I ain’t trustin’ you,” he answered and Tess seemed to understand. He could see it in her eyes. He shook his head. “Look, you seem smart, but you’re barkin’ up the wrong tree. What do you suggest? That we run away the three of us? If that was somethin’ I wanted I would just run along with Tommy.”

“But he doesn’t want to,” Tess cut in, looking at him between dainty eyelashes. Joel sucked in a breath, his chest expanding uncomfortably. “Isn’t that the whole reason you joined us? Tommy wanted in. Though I’m sure he’s regretting it now. After seeing what we’re capable of as people.”

“He knows what needs to be done,” Joel hissed through clenched teeth. “Don’t pretend you know him. You don’t.”

His anger simmered pleasantly under his skin. He greeted this emotion with open arms, he enjoyed feeling the rage. It made him sharp, made him briefly forget about the world he was a part of. The hot anger made him see nothing but red. After years of building and building, it felt good to be allowed to destroy. He would stare at his hands a lot when no one was looking. He would get scarred either way. Building and destroying. It didn’t matter. With the latter, he’d not often felt regret.

“Is he scared of you, Joel?”

“Excuse me?”

The words struck a cord within him. He couldn’t understand at first. And when he did his simmering anger came to a boiling point. In that moment, he wanted to shoot her. He wouldn’t. Tess was defenseless and it would cause more trouble than his trigger-happy fingers were worth. Besides, he still had somewhat of a conscience, at least when it came to the people who he was semi-in close relations with.

Tess, knowing well that she managed to crawl under Joel’s skin, smiled.

“He’s scared of you,” she repeated, making Joel’s ears burn. “That’s why he doesn’t want to be alone with you. I saw how you two operate, you’re still trying to protect him from it, aren’t you?”

“He’s a veteran,” he croaked. “He doesn’t need my protection.”

“I’m not saying he’s not dangerous, or less violent than you. But when push comes to shove, you gladly take that responsibility away from him.”

“So what if I do?” Joel spat. He had forgotten that he was trying to make this woman go away. Blood rushed to his ears and he heard little when it came to their surroundings. All he could see was Tess. She was looking at him with curiosity and a hint of something else. A familiarity. “He’s the only thing I have left. Hell will freeze over before I lose him too.”

“Too?”

Shit. Joel was in deep. He wanted to shut up but couldn’t, he felt like she could understand him. Even parts of him he couldn’t quite understand yet. But despite that sudden need to share the thought he hadn’t even shared with Tommy, Joel kept his silence. He pressed his lips tightly together.

“I guess that was stupid of me to say. Of course, you lost someone else. We all have,” she met Joel’s glare and slowly got up. She fixed the crumpled part of the jacket Tommy gave her, which Joel felt ridiculous— who cared about being neat? Must’ve been a force of habit—and she turned on her heel.

“I’ll leave you to it. I think I’m going to try and catch a couple of hours before it’s my turn.” she stopped before she disappeared completely. Joel expected her to turn around but she didn’t. “Thanks for the conversation.”

And with that, she left.

“Dammit,” Joel grumbled from underneath his breath. He hadn’t expected the conversation to go as long as it did. He settled back into position, relaxing his muscles and legs. She had asked to team up but left without pressing on the matter. Joel found that to be weird. He also couldn’t deny the fact that he enjoyed the back and forth. Some sick part of him liked the challenge, it almost felt like dancing, which he wasn’t half bad at before the outbreak.

He let out a sigh and touched his scar again. He didn’t trust himself or his thought process anymore. He especially didn’t trust his hands. They had betrayed him once, who was to say that they wouldn’t betray him again? Joel didn’t want to be here. He went on for family, something he often said to Tommy, his only family late. But if he was going to be honest, he would rather make the shot than be here. Surviving. Alone. His only purpose in life taken from him.

Joel would never see Sarah. He would never hear her laughter or watch her grow old.

He would never get to see her graduate.

He would never get to walk her down the aisle.

She was gone, forever. And that notion was still unfamiliar to him. He couldn’t believe it, he doubted he ever could believe it. His guilt really came streaming in when he found himself glad that Sarah couldn’t see all of this. She didn’t see the runners, the clickers. She didn’t witness humanity turning on itself. She didn’t see what Joel had become. And god knows he would’ve been so much worse if she were alive. He would’ve done everything to keep her alive and well, not a soul he would topple over for the sake of her.

So, he didn’t want Sarah to be here with him. No. Even if it was painful to admit, he didn’t want her to see all this. He didn’t want her to live through this hell.

Joel wished he had the strength to join her instead.

“One day,” he promises her, whispering into the silence as he often did. “We’ll be together, baby girl. I’m sorry, your dad is a coward.”

Tess burrowed into her jacket. Her neck felt cold, and her fingers numb. She stared at Joel’s back from where she was crouching at. Finally, they had managed to drag their asses to a city and after waiting around for an hour or so they spotted a group heading their way. They had a decent-looking car and were too cheerful to not have the supplies that they needed to make the last walk to Boston. She watched as Tommy stumbled forward, clenching his stomach and heading to the middle of the road. She hated this part. No matter what anyone thought of her, she did not enjoy taking advantage of the naivety of people. Just because she used weaknesses to her advantage often, didn’t mean she enjoyed it.

However, she did notice a growing blood lust in her. She didn’t like the tricking, but she sure as hell enjoyed the fighting. Tess never dubbed herself a violent person. At least not before, but somehow, after months, she found it as a decent enough release. There were no drinks on the road, only the sweet satisfaction when her bullet met its mark.

The car screeched to a halt. A man came out, looking with worry but also suspicion. Tess’s gaze moved from Tommy to Joel. He was tense, thick fingers ready to take aim if anything would happen to his brother. The man leaned forward, asking if Tommy was alright. He was. Before the man could react, Tommy’s fist collided with his chin. The stranger stumbled forward, two other men came stumbling out of the car. Joel shot one in the left without hesitation. He came out of hiding and so did Tess. She always had Joel’s back. At first, she thought she did this because she needed Joel. After a while, she noticed this wasn’t quite the case. It was a month to a flame kind of situation. She wanted to be near him. She wanted to be the one to take down anyone who thought they could harm them.

Them being her, Joel, and Tommy.

Joel didn’t like wasting bullets. He took out his knife and plunged it into someone’s neck. The sound should’ve horrified her, but she just felt a sick thrill rushing up her spine. This was the world they lived in now. One born out of violence.

The three men fell and immediately their crew started raiding the vehicle. Just like Tess suspected, the car was in good shape, they could’ve used it. Tess felt Joel’s presence right next to her, his broad shoulder brushing against hers. Joel and Tommy made a habit of checking in with Tess to ask what they needed most. Even if Joel had said no to the team-up, they had become one, without knowing. While the other two looked in the trunk, Joel leaned into Tess’s ear, his hot breath fanning her dirt-ridden skin. It felt oddly nice.

“This car won’t hold the five of us,” he said in a hushed tone. “Let’s ditch’em.”

“Look at you finally warming up to me,” she teased, the corners of her lips twitching. Joel frowned but still, she could see a tenderness in his charcoal eyes. “Do you have a plan?”

“I mean, isn’t it obvious?” he shifted uncomfortably, pulling the rifle to his front. Tess’s gaze dropped to the weapon briefly, her eyes immediately shooting back up to meet his. She didn’t need him to spill it out. Tess knew exactly what he meant, and honestly, he didn’t mind the straightforward plan. They would’ve done the same—this was something Tess repeated herself constantly, she believed it.

“What about Tommy?” Tess asked, unlike Joel and her, Tommy knew their names. She didn’t think he cared about them but still, despite all they’d done, the younger Miller still had a weird code that he tended to follow.

“He’ll understand.”

Everyone had their mantras they tended to repeat. Even if they didn’t quite believe it. Saying they would’ve done the same, was Tess’s, and saying he’ll understand was Joel’s. Maybe Tommy did understand, Tess never bothered to ask or check-in.

Her sole focus was getting the three of them to Boston alive. Honestly, she didn’t know a bigger thing in this world to show that she cared. They’d grown close in odd ways. Tess would throw over them a blanket or jacket when their teeth clattered at night. She found this to be peaceful, her soul easing just a bit at the familiarity of the action. And when they were on the road, the brother began to cage her in, having her in the middle. Tess hated hiking. She always fucking tripped. They caught her, every time. Their conversation skills lacked, someone would eventually strike a nerve but Tess knew over time, that would grow strong as well.

Funnily enough, they didn’t kill them. When Tommy got a sense of what was happening, he guarded Joel’s back. Family came first after all. Joel beat them, knocked them out, and left them bloody and whimpering. Tess watched with fascination. He had so much rage. She should’ve been used to it but she wasn’t. Every time he heard a bone crack, her breath hitched. Joel had something else driving him, that was her only explanation. His gaze would become dazed and he would bare his teeth like a wild animal. She often saw that Joel wouldn’t hear no one in this state, only on rare occasions he would hear Tommy.

The man was consumed by violence. He drowned in it. Yet she knew he longed for something else. Something similar that Tess longed for as well. Neither of the brothers told her but she knew. No one could hide the pain of losing a child. And he knew she showed it as well. Hiding that kind of pain was unbearable, unthinkable. In some sense, she was happy that she showed it. It meant that he was with her, always. Be it good or bad.

When the beating stopped, one still remained conscious. His faze was swollen, crimson blood pouring from his mouth. Joel took a fistful of his hair and pulled his head back so their former crew member could look into his eyes. She wondered what they saw. Would she ever be the end of that gaze? She figured that wouldn’t be the worst way to go.

“You’re goin’ to forget about us?” Joel growled. “Understand?”

The man whimpered something similar to a fuck you but Tess couldn’t quite tell. Joel snarled and his fist whirred through the air, landing the finishing blow.

When the three entered the car, Tess could see the small movements of their chests. Barely there. The concrete they were laying on stained with red.

They weren’t good people.

And she couldn’t find it in herself to care.

Boston QZ was most certainly better than Detroit. At least for the time being. It was still shit, but Tess felt that she could breathe better here. Fedra was easier to persuade with goods. Goods that she had no trouble getting her hands on, thanks to the Millers. They worked subtly at first, learning the routes and making “friends” among the smugglers that already had their respective spots and partners.

Tommy and Joel stayed together while Tess stayed alone in the apartment opposite from them. Sometimes she would look through the dusty windows, stealing brief glances at Joel and Tommy. They sat on the couch a lot. Talked a lot. During nights when Tess woke up drenched in sweat and her heart ramming in her chest, she found solace in seeing a dim light pouring through their window. It made her feel less alone.

After a week, she noticed a blue butterfly on their window. One time she felt brave enough to ask about it. She was already in their apartment so it felt like the perfect moment.

“What’s with the butterfly?”

Joel’s eyes slowly moved to the delicate decoration, his gaze lingered. “Apparently Tommy took it from Sarah’s room. He kept it all this time and thought it would be good to finally hand it.” he sounded almost wistful.

That was the first time Joel mentioned Sarah to Tess. She found herself speechless and didn’t say a word. A warmth she had forgotten blossomed in her chest and spread through her body like wildfire. Her ears started to ring, her heart started beating too fast. The warmth she felt turned into something sickly hot, so hot that she had trouble breathing. She thought herself to be spiraling. Her eyes couldn’t focus and her breath came out in harsh pants. Joel’s presence loomed near her. Just his presence without any physical touch. He slightly leaned forward, ready to place his large hands on the span of her back if she needed it. She swallowed, refusing to ask for the comfort.

It wasn’t the fact that she was touched by Joel’s non-existent confession that he had lost his daughter. It was the fact that she was right and this man shared the same pain as she did. Her mind went back in time, images blurring into a sickly dark color until it stopped on a certain September night. She’d skipped dinner, running late that night. When she arrived home she saw the empty plates and a portion left out for her, pasta with a pre-made marinara sauce. Without touching it, she looked around, finding their home to be uncharacteristically silent. Tess didn’t know what possessed her to do it, but she took a knife with her as she entered the living room—

“Tess,” Joel called, his voice dropping an octave. Still not touching her. “Tess, are you alright?”

“I,” she shook her head. “I’m fine.”

Tess knew how to influence Joel. It wasn’t the same with Tommy, the younger Miller was more eager to believe in everything and anything. Joel was easier. He didn’t want to think, he didn’t want to plan, which made it easier for Tess because she always had a plan. Responsibility weighed heavily on Joel’s shoulders and he wanted nothing more than to give that away.

But sometimes Tess forgot that Joel read her just as easily.

She felt his palm resting between her shoulder blades. She let out a breath then. His hand eased the tension of her back, moving up and down and back up again. Her shoulders dropped and so did her head. Joel continued to do this until her breathing returned to normal and she found her voice again. Never would she thought that the same hands that destroyed so easily could be her sense of comfort.

“Thanks,” she croaked out, her voice shaky.

“You’re good,” he answered. His hand had stopped moving but still laid heavily over her back. “I had the same—if not worse— reaction when Tommy showed me the butterfly. I was furious. . . this thing that we feel, it ain’t ever gonna get easy.”

Her resolve started to crack. She imagined her blood pouring through the gaps like thick tar. That’s how it felt and it hurt as much. Still, it fucking hurt. She would never heal from this, she would never have that hope again. At least that was what she believe back then, before a girl showed up saying that she was immune.

Tess sucked in a sharp breath through the gaps of her teeth. Her eyes were wet. She struggled to keep it all in, a knot big as her fist clogging her throat.

The curve of Joel’s nose pressed against the side of her cheek. His eyes were closed. Two hands came to her sides and skimmed down her forearms. His hot breath fanned her cheek and she felt his lips. They were chapped and rough against her tender flesh. He didn’t kiss her, but he might as well have.

“His name was Jason,” she choked and her nostrils flared. It was unbearable. The way she felt. She just wanted all of it to stop; her shivering, her tears, her thoughts, her flood of memories. But it didn’t.

Tess didn’t remember much after that. She didn’t fall or collapse, she didn’t sob loudly with parted lips. She cried silently, exhaling sharp pants. The streaks burned her face. Her bottom lips quivered. Sometimes during that, Joel had pulled her towards the couch she so often saw through her own window. His arm never left her shoulder and occasionally he brushed his knuckles over the shimmering wetness that glided down her face.

It was nice and unexpected. Somewhere along the journey, Tess managed to gain more than she had hoped for. She was looking for a soldier. Someone who would be use of her physically. Fighting the battles she could not when her wits weren’t enough. Joel proved to be more than what she thought of him. She gained so much more.

She gained a friend. Someone who understood her. And honestly, what more could you ask during the end of times?

You keep going for family. This was another thing Joel said in moments of vulnerability. A reminder of sorts.

It was raining when Tommy left him, it was raining still. Tess’s boots smacked heavily against the wet pavement. She had heard the rumors before confirming it from Joel himself. Tommy had joined those nutcases called the fireflies. The younger Miller had left them both. Some part of her didn’t want to believe it. She had seen the signs of it but it was still hard to believe Tommy would actually leave Joel. Despite their differences, they were strong together, and in a world like this, that was something you wouldn’t want to give up.

The fireflies must’ve brainwashed him. Tess could see no other way.

The door was already open when she got there and it creaked after she entered and closed it. Joel was sitting on the couch, his legs parted and hands cradling his face. He didn’t make a noise as Tess approached him. She knelt in front of him, curling her fingers around his wrists. They barely closed around the bone.

“He left,” he said. “He fuckin’ left to save the goddamn world. Again.”

Tess clicked her tongue, a soft smile gracing her countenance. She slowly shook her head, “They never learn.”

Joel sighed and pulled his hands away from his face. His arms dropped to his knees along with Tess’s hands. He just stared at her. His gaze unfocused like he wasn’t there.

“He’s gonna get himself killed,” Joel bristled. Only then Tess noticed his hoarse voice, as if he’d been shouting for a good ten hours. Her fingers twitched above his forearms, she did a brief scan. She took in the sight of a broken chair, the shattered glass on the floor. It must’ve been one hell of a fight. “He promised to let me know what he’s up to thanks to the radio. Every Sunday he said. Like that makes this situation any goddamn better.”

Her gaze moved back to Joel. In the dark of the living room, she had failed to notice the dark circle slowly forming around his eyes. Lighting struck and she saw it more clearly. The sudden burst of light gave him a menacing look. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest, a soft gasp parting her lips. Goosebumps pebbled over her skin so fast that it stung.

“He’ll be fine,” Tess said, her words empty to her own ears.

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t,” she agreed. “But I know that Tommy is capable, he’ll find his way. Eventually.”

“I did this,” Joel said suddenly, ignoring her words that was meant to comfort him. “I keep saying he understands what needs to be done. I can’t help it. I still see him as that hopeful kid before that moron shipped himself off to war. Somethin’ died in him Tess. I don’t know what’ll happen to him if the last bit of his goodness also dies. He’s not like us. Hope feeds him.”

Not like us.

So Joel had noticed it too. That there was more to them than common losses and the way that they dealt with it. Joel saw her as bit of destructive as he was, only in different ways. Tess was surprised to see that this notion didn’t bother her. It was more like a relief. A brush of soft waves burying her feet into the sand. She didn’t want to act or pretend to be something that she wasn’t. She wasn’t kind, she wasn’t good. Joel saw that. He saw parts of him in her that allowed him to confess things he probably didn’t even confess to his brother. Joel always saw Tommy as light and himself as darkness. Tess could argue that Tommy’s “light” wasn’t exactly something good or useful. She found it more to be a defense mechanism for tricking himself that this world had more to offer—but she’s rather cut her tongue off than say that to Joel. He had enough going on in that thick skull of his.

“Then you have nothing to worry about,” Tess answered, watching as Joel furrowed his brows. “Fireflies are nothing but hopeful idiots believing that things might change.”

“I don’t want him to live in a delusion.”

“Then let him see what the world is for himself. You’ve done enough. You can’t shield him forever.”

His pupils ate away the color of his eyes that was already dark to begin with. Tess held his breath while his gaze searched for something, flitting over every surface of her face. Something shifted in the air. Tess could feel it needling into her skin, her heart heavy with a desire she had completely forgotten about. Her skin prickled and her fingers twitched.

Joel breathed heavily, not moving an inch. His eyes dropped to her lips and she could see the hints of confusion burrowing into his rugged features. Tess wasn’t known for her patience. Especially not now. She closed the distance, crashing their lips together, devouring the mourning man hungrily. Joel leaned closer and his legs spread futher, allowing Tess to inch closer to the gaps of his body.

She slipped her tongue between his lips and he threaded his fingers into her hair. He tasted like moonshine and the artificial, bitter taste of pills. She felt blunt nails against her scalp, burying themselves into the dry skin. Joel pulled and she went, baring her neck. He tugged on her locks harder, pressed his lips against her neck. She felt teeth and tongue. Joel bit into her, again and again, marking her, pouring his need to possess and keep those he cared for close to him.

Tess returned the gesture in kind. Her hands went up the flannel of his shirt and she dragged her nails down his back. She heard him hissing into her skin. She keened at the sound, demanded more of it. When she did it again, Joel groaned. He dragged his lips up her neck and all the way up to her temple where he breathed heavily.

“Harder,” he rasped, his own fingers making their presence known by pulling at the roots of her hair. “Make me feel it, Tess.”

His Texan drawl had become deeper with pleasure and pain. Tess bit his bottom lip and pulled as she slowly got up. She shrugged off her jacket and plaid, kicked away his jeans and boots. She wanted to feel him as well. She wanted to feel the rough drag of the worn fabric of his jeans, wanted to feel his hands on her bare skin. Joel’s gaze was all-consuming, devouring. Tess straddled his lap, the ache in her thighs growing as she accommodate the width of his hips. Joel wanted no time spreading his fingers over the expanse of her back, feeling the small scars that lingered there.

She was braless and Tess knew he liked the fact that she was. Her nipples pebbled with the cold of the room, the dampness of rain seeping through the walls easily. Joel wasted no time taking the peaked flesh between his lips. His hands cupped her waist and her head fell back at how harshly he sucked. Her back arched, pushing more of herself between those sinful lips. He swirled his tongue, nipped the aching flesh. Arousal pooled between her legs and Tess felt the fabric sticking to her folds, making her shift over his lap.

Tess could feel how hard Joel was through his jeans. She rolled her hips, both of them moaning at the sudden jolt of pleasure rolling over their heated skin.

She gripped his hair and yanked his head back, a groan vibrating through his chest. Tess kissed him hard, he sucked her tongue and in return, Tess grinned and bit him. He hissed into her open mouth. “Do you feel it now, Joel?”

“Shit—I do,” he guided the sloppy roll of her hips, his hand dropped between her legs, thumb grazing over her throbbing clit. “Can’t wait to bury myself deep in this sweet pussy, spitfire. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Me fuckin’ you hard so you can’t think anythin’ else.”

He’d called her spitfire, she hadn’t expected herself to enjoy that as much as she did. That nickname would be reserved for when it was just the two of them.

“That would be ideal, yes,” she purred, cradling Joel’s face, she pulled up his gaze. “Hopefully you’re not just all talk and no bite.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. I’m plenty of bite.”

Much to her surprise, Joel smirked, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip. She couldn’t help herself and pressed her thumb against the shiny swell of it. He kissed her thumb then cupped her ass, urging her to lift herself on her knees. Tess did exactly that, hovering in the air as Joel unzipped and pulled himself out of the confinements of his jeans. Some part of her wanted to strip him, see him bare, and connect every scar with the drag of her tongue. However, at this given moment, she felt dazed, as if everything that was happening around her was buried under a sheer patch of smoke. There was a tremor to her thighs. Joel’s hands slowly gripped her thighs, kneading the muscle.

“You sure ‘bout this?” he groaned, the slick sound of him fucking his fist deafening. She clenched around nothing, arousal dripping down the inside of her thighs.

“Yeah,” Tess gasped.“I want this.”

She took him inch by inch, a hint of plain blossoming between her legs as Joel stretched her wide. Tess didn’t remember the last time she had sex. She forgot about the importance of preparation. The thoughts of want and need were too consuming. Besides, it wasn’t important. Tess knew that the pain would soon turn into something pleasurable. Her walls fluttered and squeezes around him, trying to adjust to his size. Her nostrils flared and Joel pressed his lips into her chest, peppering the delicate skin.

When she was fully seated, he dragged his palms across her back and then slid his hands to the front of her body. He squeezed her breasts and brushed his thumbs over her nipples. Every part of it felt incredibly good. Having him buried so deep made her feel alive in a way that she had forgotten.

“How does it feel?” he asked in a hushed tone, the tip of his nose cold as it brushed against her clavicle. His thumb dug into her hip bone.

“Shit, Joel. You’re seriously packing, I never would’ve thought,” a puff of laughter parted her lips. “But to answer your question—yeah, it feels fucking good.”

Joel groaned, flexing his cock. Tess shuddered, a gush of arousal wetting them both. One hand slid up to rest between her shoulder blades while the other followed the curve of her behind. “Tell me if. . .” he swallowed. “Tell me if anythin’ feels not-good, a’right?”

His voice was soft, the way he spoke slow. And he was so incredibly awkward. It was endearing. Her nails bit into his broad shoulders, her body relaxing in a way it hadn’t ever since the infection spread.

“Alright.”

The rain grew louder, drowning out their moans.

Pleasure rolled over her again and again. Like everything, they connected in this aspect of their lives as well. Their bodies were in complete harmony and in constant movement. Tess would push herself up with the guidance of his arms and Joel would snap into her. The pacing of his hips was hard and fast, with every stroke Tess could feel her lungs emptying and burning. The fabric of his jeans scraped against the delicate skin of the back of her thighs.

Joel’s rage seeped into her with every thrust, she could feel it. The grief, the pain, the betrayal. She allowed him to use her. The relief wouldn’t last but it was better than nothing—and it also allowed her a moment of a blank slate that made her see stars. His movement became rough, his feet planted against the hardwood floors, he fucked her nice and deep. Just like she wanted. Tess could think of nothing else. Only the way his big cock split her into two and how she wanted this to be the only thing she felt until she died.

Her orgasm shattered through her, black dots hovering across her vision, she pulled Joel close. He happily buried his face into her, facial hair tickling her skin, his velvet tongue poking out between his lips to taste the salt. She shivered, her entire body contorting with the strangle of pleasure. Briefly, she couldn’t breathe. Everything felt too much, too sudden. Joel pushed her down, burying himself deeper as he slightly raised his hips off the couch to fill her more, if possible. He groaned at the way her walls fluttered, how it threatened to squeeze him dry. His hand slid back to the back of her neck and harshly forced her to lean in for a searing kiss.

When the tremors of her body subsided, Joel pulled out. His cock jutted dark between his legs and leaked for her. She felt him against her stomach, wet and warm, as he jerked himself with sloppy, urgent strokes. He inhaled a sharp breath. Hissed between clenched teeth when he came, hot ropes of come splashing over the soft swell of her stomach. A shudder crawled down her spine, a whimper parting her lips.

Joel took deep breaths of her scent, groaned into her. His cock continued to throb against his palm, the tremors of his orgasm still raking across his body. Every muscle clenched and taut by the force of it.

“Fuck,” Tess huffed, loudly. Her lips moved over Joel’s forehead, the tension that drew lines into his face momentarily gone. “You were right, you definitely have a bite, Miller.”

“Fuckin’ told you.”

Tess couldn’t see his face but she knew he was smiling.

Joel saw red.

His fists ached, his breathing was uneven, shudders rolling throughout his body over and over again. Blood dripped to the floors of their shared apartment. His knuckles were split and when his gaze dropped to his hands, he moved them, hissing at the blossoming pain. Tess wearily sat on the dusty couch, her body looking like a ragdoll. The jacket Tommy had gifted her all those months ago was tattered and she had a swollen lip.

Joel saw read when he saw Tess laying on the cold concrete, a group of men huddled around her, kicking her to the curb.

He didn’t even remember pulling out his knife. Didn’t remember pulling out his gun. It was late. He’s gone out to look after her when she didn’t return when she said she would. It was supposed to be as simple drop-off, which is why Tess had insisted Joel stay behind. Looking over her, Joel promised himself to never stay behind again. He fucking knew something would go wrong and he was right.

He was so tired of always being fuckin’ right.

Joel wasn’t sure how much of it Tess saw or heard. He killed them all and didn’t stop when they dropped down one by one, rage blinded him, consumed him. The wretched feeling only disappeared when he heard Tess groan, a faint whisper of his name following. He dropped the man he held by the collar—maybe calling him corpse would be more fitting than man? Joel was fairly certain he was already dead— he scooped Tess up from the ground and carried her to their shared apartment, carefully so that FEDRA wouldn’t spot them.

Somewhere between the months, Tess moved in—though could it really be called moving in when you owned nothing?

“Well, I feel like shit,” Tess groaned, her voice hoarse and scratchy. She could barely open her eyes. She held her head, wincing at the pain. “Those little shits didn’t want to pay up. Fuckin’ new meat is always the worse.”

“Forget about that now,” Joel answered. He moved closer, the chair scraping along the floors. He had a bit of antiseptic left, the last of their batch, and poured some over a dirty cloth. “This is gonna sting.”

“Just get it over with.”

She didn’t say much after that but Joel could tell that it did, in fact, sting. He wiped away the blood from her face, gently cupping her bruised jaw. When he was satisfied he’s clean every wound, he threw the cloth stained with red to the floor and brushed a strand of dirty hair behind her ear. Tess leaned into the touch. It was subtle, but when Joel felt it he allowed his hand to linger.

“We should get you washed up,” he muttered.

Tess snorted and shook her head, “Are you kidding me? The water is freezing cold. There’s no way in hell I’m gonna take a shower at this hour.” when Joel raised both brows she added. “I slept dirtier.”

“I’ll join you,” he said, running his hand up her thigh. He swallowed, it was true Tess slept dirtier, but he didn’t think he could handle seeing her like that any more than he had to. And the scent of blood was making his stomach churn. “Please.”

Tess observed him for a moment. She often did this whenever Joel uttered the word ‘please’. It wasn’t something that he often said, which he did on purpose so the word could carry some weight. It became like a code among them, making the other realize that the other was serious about what they needed.

She sighed, “Fine. Be grateful you’re basically a radiator with legs.”

Joel didn’t have it in himself to smile at the playful quip.

He carefully led Tess to the bathroom, supporting her as they entered the small, dimly lit space. They stripped each other slowly. She unbuttoned his plaid shirt as he pushed her ripped jacket off of her shoulders. Between every article of clothing that was removed, they pressed their lips over every newly exposed skin.

Tess stood under the water, her bruised and battered body tense with pain. The water cascaded down her, mixing with the dirt and blood that stained her skin. Joel watched her silently with his brows furrowed. That rage was swirling in his stomach once more, and he regretted that he finished them off so quickly. His protectiveness a poison both to him and to those around them. If they lived in the world before, this would have became a problem, but not now. Now people ached to be protected, they ached to be taken care of. No matter how much they refused.

Joel stepped into the shower behind her, allowing the water to drench them both. His arms encircled her, pulling her close, their bodies pressed together. The shock of the cold water against their skin was momentary as Joel’s body heat was enough to warm her chilled skin. Tess leaned into him, her curves brushing his semi-hard cock. He ignored it.

Joel’s hands moved with deliberate care, tracing the outline of her body, avoiding the tender spots that were still sore. He focused on each wound, gently cleansing them and removing any debris. Tess winced occasionally but remained silent. The water rinsed away the remnants of their harrowing experience, carrying them down the drain as if washing away the past. Joel knew he would be doing this many times after this, and she would be doing the same for him.

Against the numbing cold, Joel’s fingers carried warmth. She let out a sigh and allowed her head to fall back over his shoulder. They only had water to clean her. No soap. They’d used up their last bar a week before and forgot about replacing it. He cupped her breasts, gently lifting them to allow the water to cleanse everywhere. Tess hissed at the cold, her nipples pebbling.

Satisfied that she was cleansed of the caked blood, Joel’s hand slid between her legs, middled finger sliding between her tender folds. The digit was suddenly enveloped in a searing heat that made him groan. He dragged his teeth up her neck and tugged her earlobe.

“My spitfire,” he said, the nickname bleeding over his tongue. Saying it made him feel uneasy, but it was too late now. Tess didn’t answer her other than let out a soft gasp.

He wanted to say more. And he knew Tess wanted to say more as well. But neither said anything. Unsaid confessions running along their bodies and being drained into the sink just like the water that made them short of breath. He’d hoped what he said was enough to convey. He couldn’t do more than that. Even that was too much to say in a cruel world such as this one.

He turned off the faucet, and the rush of cold water ceased. He reached for a threadbare towel, enfolding her in its embrace, absorbing the moisture clinging to her skin.

Their eyes met, speaking volumes without the need for words.

Joel lead her to their bed and sprawled her over the sheets, the cold drops seeping into the fabric. He rarely stood naked in the apartment, both of them were careful to keep clothed nearby. But in this situation, when both of them were wet and cold, it seemed dumb to stop and put their clothes back on. Tess spread her legs for him. His cock stood dark between his legs, hunger twisting in his stomach. She had a pretty cunt. The soft curls a shade lighter compared to her hair, he sat on his knees, spread his hand over her sex, felt them underneath his fingers.

“I don’t want you goin’ on your own anymore,” he stated. “I don’t care how ‘easy’ the job seems. You ain’t goin’ alone, understood?”

He knew she understood but waited for the nod of her head anyway. And when she did, Joel gripped her thighs and lifted them, allowing her legs to rest upon his shoulders. He dipped in, hungry for a taste. Slowly, he kissed her folds, diving his tongue in between, groaning as she coated his tongue.

“Shit—Fuck—Joel, that feels so good, god.”

Feeling her pulse around him oddly enough, made him feel relieved. Joel sucked her clit between his lips and swirled his tongue over the sensitive nub. Tess arched into him, her hands laced in his dripping hair, she pulled him closer. With a groan, he traced the rip of his tongue around her entrance and pushed the soft muscle in. He fucked her with his tongue, licking into her with rapid strokes. His own need ached between his legs, it was easy to ignore when he felt her fluttering around him. Joel parted her with both thumbs and buried himself deeper. Tess cried out his name, the neediness of it making him smile.

He hummed loudly, the reverberations from the sound made her thighs tighten around the frame of his face. It didn’t take her long to come undone with his mouth. Her back arched, and Joel moaned as her nails bit into his scalp. Her body convulsed and with a moan, she gushed around his tongue, whispering his name over and over as if it was a prayer.

Joel continued to work his jaw, sloppily dragging his tongue down her soaked folds. He loved these moments. Her body would become loose and pliant, seeing her like that made him feel almost glad. Tess tugged on his hair, prompting him to look up. She smiled down at him and dragged her thumb across his shiny lips.

“Your turn, Miller.”

I still can't believe this reached 9k words, it my head it was supposed to be 5k lmaodvf if you reached this far, thank you so much for reading! writing in third person isn't really my strong suit but I hope this was okay!

sending everyone all the love and hugs xx

#joel miller x tess servopoulos #joel x tess #hbo the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us hbo #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal characters

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the-blind-assassin-12 · 9 months

Text

Strong Enough To Stand

1200 words for 1200 followers #5

A/N: Hi friends! Welcome to the 12-A-Palooza! This event is my way of saying thank you for sticking with me. Your support and kindness toward me and my writing is out of this world and I’m grateful for every last one of you! This one sort of follows one of the other requests that I got for Joel for this event called It Pours From Your Eyes, but it can also be read as stand alone.

Warnings: loss, mention of character death, Joel Miller’s big sad eyes

Requested by: @senorabond Song: Heavy In Your Arms Character Choice: Joel Miller - thank you so much for sending this in! This song is such a good choice for Joel, and I hope you like the direction that I took it in!

Summary: It’s a difficult day for Joel, and though you don’t know the details of why, you try to be there for him the best way that you can. Joel realizes that he doesn’t have to repeat his regrets - so he doesn’t.

Joel cleared the gravel from his throat as soon as the stream came into view.

He hadn’t spoken since that morning, the two of you wordlessly breaking down your camp. For most of the day there had been nothing but your horses’ hooves on the hard ground to break the silence. It was nearing sundown when he finally spoke your name, voice creaking with disuse.

That’s not all it is.

You’d known to expect this when you woke up that morning - even though you’d done so with his arms around you, holding you against his chest. You’d known to expect it because you’d seen him like this before.

Today means something.

It was an annual occurrence, one of those horrible anniversaries that everyone had. A ritual of remembrance that did nothing to lessen the load he carried, but that he needed to do anyway.

You’d been assigned to a patrol with him shortly after he and Ellie showed up when you witnessed it the first time. He’d asked you to wait with the horses while he filled the canteens at the stream. You hardly knew him then, but the look in his eyes was all you needed to know that he was really asking for a moment to himself. Your canteen was still full, but you handed it to him with a nod, turning to give him privacy. You hadn’t meant to, but when you turned back around at the sound of his footsteps approaching again, you’d noticed a small stack of rocks near the water’s edge.

Joel was a stranger to you then. You knew next to nothing about him, only that he was Tommy Miller’s brother. But you knew why people built memorials. Why they carved names into trees, spoke to the wind, left notes where no one would find them. You wanted to know who the stone pyramid was for, what that person meant to him. But you knew better than to ask.

You were certain that was why he had chosen to slowly trust you.

The following year, when he was assigned to another patrol around the same time, Joel requested you as his partner. Again as you’d neared the stream a few miles outside of town, he suggested that you stick with the horses so he could refill your water supply. Though you purposely kept your eyes averted that time, the sound of rocks knocking together reached your ears.

But still, you said nothing when Joel returned.

The two of you were friends by then. More than friends, some nights. The trust and comfort you found in each other had grown, not taking down walls entirely, but opening doors from time to time. You’d brought him into your bed. He’d taken you into his arms. But there were still lines that you didn’t cross - wouldn’t cross, unless Joel did first.

With the passing of another year, you felt him coming closer to those lines than he ever had before. And fuck, you were ready. You were ready to see the rest of him, the parts he hadn’t shown you yet, ready to take half the weight from his heart even if it was enough to sink yours.

You were ready to love him.

But right now there was something that you knew he had to do. Even if you still didn’t know the reason behind it.

It’s important to him. That’s what matters.

Clicking your tongue, you stopped your horse next to Joel’s, climbing down as he did the same. When he looked up, your eyes locked with his and even though you knew what to expect, seeing the raw ache in them nearly knocked the breath from your lungs. You wanted to wrap your arms around him, lace your fingers together behind his neck and show him that you were there, right there with him.

You didn’t, though. Instead, you handed him your canteen before he could ask for it. You resisted the urge to lean forward and kiss the patch of skin that showed through his beard, let your lips linger there like a punctuation point. Like they did when you shared sheets in the dark. “I’ll stay with the horses, Joel.”

Something new flashed in his eyes then, something different from what you’d come to expect from this ritual. The roughened pads of his fingers grazed your knuckles as he took the canteen from you, and you watched the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed the heaviness that had stolen his words. He held your gaze for a few seconds longer, almost as though he was waiting for something.

But then he nodded, turning with a sniff and heading for the water.

– – –

Joel’s hand plunged beneath the water, grasping for the flat rock that lay at the bottom. It would make for a solid base. Pulling it out, he set it on the bank, a ragged sigh pushing its way through his lips.

Three years.

He chose another stone, squeezing it tightly before stacking it atop the first.

Goddamnit I miss you, Tess.

The next rock that caught his eye was partially embedded in the muck. He worked his fingertips under it to pull it free, adding it to the pile. It was hefty and broad, strong enough to stand up to wind and weather. Strong enough to last.

Like we were.

He was almost certain that she knew how he felt about her. But almost wasn’t good enough. He knew that, now.

I’m sorry I never said it. I should have.

He topped the memorial with a smooth, white-gray oval shaped stone.

I should have told you that I loved you.

Joel looked down at the cairn letting a fat tear drop onto it. A slight breeze blew over his damp cheeks and he closed his eyes, remembering her last words to him.

“Save who you can save.”

Your face joined hers behind his eyelids then, and the thought that had been playing on repeat since he woke that morning echoed in his brain again. He shivered, despite the warm summer air.

I have to tell her. Tonight.

He’d waited too long to tell Tess. He didn’t want the first time that he said aloud that he loved you to be to a pile of rocks.

– – –

You made it to the safehouse just before nightfall, Joel’s silence continuing after his return with the canteens. It lasted through your meal. You figured that he wouldn’t break it until the next day.

But then, with his arms around you, just like they were that morning, he did.

“I wanna tell you about today.” His lips landed behind your ear. “I wanna tell you about everything. But I have to say something first. Somethin’ that scares the hell out of me but - ” He sighed. “Something I should have said to you a long time ago.”

You held your breath for a few seconds, your heart smashing at your ribs.

“I love you.”

His words dropped directly into your heart, solid and sure and strong.

You didn’t know when the tears started, but they were there when you lay your arm over his, squeezing back. “I love you, too, Joel.”

I always will.

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be added to or removed from the tag list, please feel free to let me know. You can also fill out the form on my Masterlist! :)

tags: @something-tofightfor @littlemisspascal @mishasminion360 @nyctophiliiiiaaaa @practicalghostt @amb11 @mindidjarinin @jk7789 @tentacruelss @harriedandharassed @joelmillerscoffee @woodlandmouthh @swtaura @thescarletfang @sleepylunarwolf @trickstersp8 @princessxkenobi @imtryingmybeskar @wildmoonflower @mswarriorbabe80 @theredwritingwitch @silverstarsandsuns @competentpotato @pedro-pedrito-pascalito @mumma-moonchild @jedi-in-crocs @hannahkatharine @anoverwhelmingdin @chiyo13 @myloveistoolittle

#12 a palooza #1200 followers 1200 words #joel miller #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller x tess servopoulos #joel miller fic #tlou joel miller #pedrostories #pedro pascal character #strong enough to stand

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allfoolsinluv · 1 year

Text

Crave - Part One

Pairing: Eventual Joel Miller x f!babysitter!Reader x Tess Servopoulos; Joel Miller x Tess Servopoulos Summary: Tess and Joel throw you for a bit of a loop when you come over to babysit. Word Count: 6.7k Rating: Explicit, 18+. Minors DNI. Warnings: oh boy here we go... modern AU (no apocalypse, Sarah's alive, Tess has a son + Ellie is her niece 😌) established relationship (Joel + Tess), age gap (reader's in her 20s, Joel & Tess are in their early/mid-40s), mutual pining, teasing + flirting, kind of unresolved sexual tension, food + alcohol mentions, imagined m/f/f threesome, dirty talk up the wazoo, unprotected p-in-v, switch!Joel vibes, dom!Tess vibes, f masturbation, use of a vibrator. i thiiiiink that's everything idk, lmk if i missed anything a/n: WELCOME TO MY BRAIN this is all i have been thinking about since Joel + Tess graced our screens last month <3 big thank you to @pedrito-friskito for enabling this nastiness and for reading this over for me 💗 and for helping me give this thing a title LOL, which is taken from the new paramore song of the same name. love u bby! dividers here.

main masterlist // series masterlist // taglist

You really shouldn’t be staring.

Tess is talking, something about new bedtimes and soccer practice in the morning. You’re half-paying attention, nodding along when appropriate, giving noncommittal yeahs and okays when you need to. But it’s so fucking hard to really focus on anything that she’s saying when she’s standing in front of you looking like that.

Her black dress hugs her body perfectly, accentuating her curves. The neckline dips just enough to tease her cleavage, and the little teardrop diamond necklace she’s wearing draws your eyes straight to it. She looks beautiful, and the only thing you can think about while you should be paying attention to her instructions for the evening, is just how badly you want to strip everything she’s wearing off of her.

“I think that’s everything,” she says, clapping her hands together. The sound pulls you from your reverie and you have to blink a few times to bring yourself back down to earth. When you meet her eyes, you find that she’s already looking at your face, a faint smirk on her lips and a slight raise to her brow. The way she’s looking at you makes your cheeks heat and you have to clear your throat before you can respond.

“Got it,” you say, your voice wavering a bit.

“Don’t be afraid to call or shoot one of us a text if you have any questions,” Tess adds. She approaches you, the sound of her heels against the kitchen tile echoing in your ears. She stops just in front of you, close enough for you to reach out and touch her if you wanted to. And oh, how you desperately wanted to. She beats you to it, though, reaching out to gently brush her hand over your shoulder and down your arm, giving your bicep a light squeeze. “Just in case, ya know?”

You freeze at the contact, your whole body going stiff. Your eyes drop to where Tess is still holding onto your arm. She squeezes you again, a bit harder this time, and you suck in a shaking breath. When you look back up at her, she’s got that same smirk on her face. It makes your heart pound and your stomach flutter. Unable to find your voice, all you can manage is a nod.

“I’m ready to go whenever you are, honey,” Joel says as he steps into the kitchen. Tess lets go of your arm and takes a step back from you, turning to look at her partner. The space between you two allows your body to relax somewhat, and you’re able to finally take in a normal breath. Your eyes flick over to Joel, and it’s like all of the air has been punched out of you again.

He looks incredible in his white button-up, black blazer, and dark-wash jeans. His dark curls are combed and slicked back, still damp from the shower. You can smell his cologne from where you’re standing, and the scent makes your mouth water.

God, you are so fucked.

Joel gives you a warm smile when he sees you. He says your name in greeting and asks, “How’ve you been? How’s school?”

You blink at him a few times while trying to force your brain back online. You’re so focused on pulling yourself together, you miss the knowing look Joel and Tess share with each other at how long it’s taking you to answer.

“Uh, good! I’ve been good, thanks,” you finally manage to respond with a nervous laugh. “School’s… alright, I guess. Keeping me busy. And stressed.”

“I’ll bet,” Joel says with a laugh. “But you’re managing it just fine, sweetheart.”

You can physically feel your knees go weak at the pet name. It takes everything in you not to collapse to the cool tile floor right then and there.

“Well, I think we better get going,” Tess says, taking a hold of Joel’s hand. “You and the kids should be all set for the evening. Remember, lights are out at ten. Everyone’s got some kind of practice early tomorrow morning. Oh, and if any of them give you trouble over that damn Switch, you can remind them that it goes in the trash if they don’t put it away when you tell them to.”

That gets you to chuckle, knowing how serious Tess is about that. There’ve been more fights between the kids over that thing in the three months since their Uncle Tommy bought it for them than there have been in the entire year you’ve been babysitting them.

“Got it,” you say with a giggle. You don’t catch the way Joel swallows at the sound or how Tess’ mouth forms a soft o.

The three of you stand in silence for a moment before Joel clears his throat and says, “Okay, then. Follow us out so you can lock up?”

You nod your head and follow them out of the kitchen and towards the front door in the living room. On the way to the door, Joel stops at the couch, bending over the side of it to place a kiss on the top of Sarah’s head.

“Bye, baby. Tess and I’ll see you later. Mind your sitter, understand?”

Sarah looks up from her book and gives her dad a smile. “I will, promise.”

“I know you will,” Joel grins. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Sarah looks over at Tess and gives her a wave. “Bye, Tess! Hope you guys have fun.”

“Thanks, sweetie,” Tess smiles. She turns to the stairs and calls up, “Ellie! Micah! Joel and I are leaving!”

You can hear two sets of feet scrambling around on the second floor. A door opens, and another slams shut. Ellie and Micah are bounding the stairs a second later, squabbling the whole way over who was there first.

Joel rolls his eyes at them, but Tess lets out an amused chuckle.

"Bye, mom!" Micah says as he steps on the landing, running straight to Tess. He tackles her in a big hug, the force making her wobble a little in her heels.

You find yourself reaching out to steady her at the same time Joel does. Your hand grazes his at the small of her back. Quickly, you pull your hand away, shoving both of them into the back pocket of your jeans. You pretend not to notice the way his eyes follow your movements.

Tess leans down to press a kiss on her son's head. "Bye, kid. Behave, you hear me? No arguing over that Switch."

Micah sighs but nods his head as he pulls away. "Yes, mom."

"Good," she smiles. Tess turns her attention to her niece next. "And you, missy. I don't want any trouble from you over bedtime, understand?"

All three of the kids groan at the word bedtime. Their indignation makes you giggle—it's the same song and dance every time sports season comes back around.

"Bedtime?" Ellie complains. "Really? We're not babies anymore, ya know."

"Hey now," Joel says gruffly, his eyes narrowing at the young girl. "You watch your tone with your Aunt. And you know as well as I do that if we left you kids to your own devices, you'd be up all night and miss your practices in the morning."

Ellie looks like she's about to argue, her mouth opening with a retort on her tongue, but she thinks better of it. With a sigh, she nods her head. "Fair enough, I guess."

"Fair enough," Joel huffs under his breath, a small smile creeping up on his face. Ellie laughs and swats his hand away as he reaches out to ruffle her hair. They finish saying goodbyes, and after one last threat from Tess to the kids to behave, you’re following them to the door.

“We’ll text when we’re on the way back,” Tess says as she and Joel step outside. She stops on the front porch, turning back to look at you one last time. “Thanks again, sweetheart.”

How is it possible for a nickname to get you so damn flustered? First from Joel, now from Tess. You were honestly surprised you were still standing at this point.

“Uh, yeah, of course,” you manage to stammer out. “Hope you two have a nice evening.”

“We will,” Tess winks at you. Winks. The woman fucking winks, and you can’t help the way your breath catches in your throat. “Bye now.”

You watch them as they walk out to their car. Joel holds the door open for Tess, holding her hand as she steps inside. When he closes the door, he turns and catches your eye. He watches you for a moment, a knowing smirk on his face. You can’t handle the weight of his gaze anymore, quickly closing and locking the door before he can walk around to the driver’s side.

Once the lock is clicked into place, you rest your forehead against the cool wood of the door. Sarah’s gone back to her book, her attention far and away from you. Ellie and Micah have made their way back upstairs, the faint sounds of their arguing over who gets to play on the Switch next filling the house. You know you’ll have to go deal with that, but Jesus, do you need a minute.

You shouldn’t want them as much as you do. But you can’t help it—the way they make you feel, the things you think about doing to them, the things you think about them doing to you. They’re happy and in love, and you’re just the girl who watches their kids. They don’t want you the same way that you want them. Right?

“You shoulda seen the way she was ogling me in the kitchen before you came in,” Tess sighs, reaching over the center console to grab Joel’s hand and pull it into her lap. “I don’t think she heard a single word I said. God, the look on her face was so fuckin’ cute.”

“She looked like she was gonna melt into the goddamn floor with the way you were holdin’ her arm. What was that all about?” Joel asks, giving Tess’ hand a squeeze. He chances a look over at her, just quick enough to catch her shrug.

“Wanted to see her get flustered.”

Joel chuckles, shaking his head. “You’re a fuckin’ menace, you know that? You gotta stop teasing that poor girl.”

“I’m the one who needs to stop?” Tess scoffs. “Says the man who nearly sent her into cardiac arrest by callin’ her ‘sweetheart.’”

“Oh, please. That was nothin’ compared to the torture you were puttin’ her through.”

“I was not torturing her, Joel. You and I both know that I could put her through far worse than that.” Tess doesn’t miss the way Joel tries to subtly shift himself in the driver’s seat at her comment. She continues, “That was just a little bit of fun. You know she liked it. Bet it got her all wet, ruined her panties.”

“Jesus, Tess,” Joel groans, squeezing her hand tighter. “You can’t say shit like that to me when I’m drivin’.”

“Why?” She asks, untangling her hand from his. She reaches over the console and plants her hand on his thigh. She digs her nails into his skin over the denim, smirking at the way it makes him hiss. “Don’t you like thinking about how much the babysitter wants to fuck us? How we can make her forget her own name without even having to lay a finger on her pussy?”

As she speaks, her hand slowly moves up Joel’s leg, until she’s cupping his bulge in her palm. She gives him a rough squeeze as she asks, “Isn’t nice to be wanted just as badly as we want her?”

“You keep talkin’ like that and I’m gonna crash the fuckin’ car,” Joel says from behind gritted teeth.

Tess chuckles as she pulls her hand away. “Deny it all you want, Miller. I know you well enough by now to know you wanna fuck her just as much as I do.”

Joel doesn’t respond—can’t respond. He knows if he does, they’ll never make it to the fucking restaurant.

It’s nearly eleven when your phone buzzes with a text from Tess. Almost home, it says.

You huff a small sigh as you start to pack up your bag. Luckily, the kids didn’t give you too much trouble over their bedtime, and they were all fast asleep within a half hour of going to lie down. After they’d gone to bed, you pulled out your laptop and barrage of different pens and notebooks to work on an essay for one of your classes. You hadn’t made much headway on it, your mind occupied elsewhere—like on Tess and Joel and what they were doing and if they were thinking about you too.

You’ve just finished packing up the last of your pens when you hear the door unlock. The sound sends a flurry of nerves loose in your stomach. You'd practically made a fool of yourself before they left and then spent the whole night daydreaming about what it'd be like to share their bed—you don't know how you're gonna be able to face them now. Tess calls your name when she steps into the living room, prompting you to turn and face them.

They look just as good—if not better—than when they left. Tess’s hair falls in soft waves over her shoulders, no longer pinned back like it was earlier. Her lipstick has faded from her lips, only a hint of the red color there. Maybe it wore off as she drank from her wine glass at dinner. Your eyes briefly flick to Joel’s lips—maybe he kissed the color off of hers.

Joel's lost his blazer, the sleeves of his white button-up rolled up to his elbows, showing off his forearms. Your eyes follow the line of bare skin down to his hand. Fuck his hands are big. You can't stop the image that flashes across your mind, his hand around your throat while Tess lies between your legs. The imagined sight sends a small shiver down your spine.

Joel says your name this time, the sound startling you and pulling you out of your head. You realize they've been talking to you, and you've just been standing there staring at them like an idiot. If your cheeks get any hotter, they're going to burst into flames.

"Sorry," you laugh nervously, wringing your hands together in front of you. "Um… what'd you say again?"

Tess chuckles as she glances over at Joel. He's got a small smirk on his face as he nods back in your direction. She turns to you again and replies, "I asked how everything went. Were the kids okay, they give you any trouble?"

Duh, you scold yourself. Of course they're asking about their kids that they're paying you to take care of.

"Oh! Yeah, no, they were fine," you say. "Ellie was a little resistant to bedtime, but all I had to do was hold the Switch over the trash can and she took off upstairs to her room. I checked on her about fifteen minutes after that and she was asleep."

"Little shit," Joel shakes his head with a chuckle. "Good call with the Switch and the trash, though, sweetheart. I might have to try that the next time they're screamin' their heads off over who gets to play it."

You laugh at that, rocking back and forth a bit on your heels to hide how much hearing him call you sweetheart gets to you. You need to get out of their house now.

"Well, I better get going," you say, slinging your bag over your shoulder. "I hope you two had a nice time out tonight."

"Thanks again for everything. We appreciate it," Tess says. She reaches into her bag for her wallet, pulling it out to pay you. As she's counting the cash, she asks, "How're you gettin' home? We didn't see your car out front. Someone picking you up?"

"Ah," you sigh. "My roommate dropped me off before her shift at work because my car's in the shop ‘til tomorrow afternoon. She's still working, though, so I was just gonna take an Uber home."

"Absolutely not," Tess says as she hands you the money. "You're not goin' out in an Uber this late at night by yourself. Joel will drive you home."

"No, no, it's fine," you say quickly. There is no way you would survive a car ride with Joel. "You guys just got home, I couldn't ask you to do that."

"You're not askin'," Joel says, crossing his arms over his chest. "We're offering. And it's not up for debate. I'm drivin' you home."

You know you have no room to argue with them. This is happening—Joel is driving you home.

You’re fucked.

“O-okay,” you say shakily. “Thank you.”

After you grab your bag, Tess walks you and Joel out to the car. Her hand brushes yours as you walk side-by-side on the concrete path to the driveway, and you hope the chill of the night air helps explain away the shiver that goes down your spine at the feeling of her skin against yours.

“Thanks again for watching the kids,” Tess says when you reach the car. Before you can, she’s opening up the door for you, gesturing for you to enter the vehicle. You duck your head in thanks, sliding into the front seat and placing your bag down at your feet. She leans against the open door, her frame looming above yours. You have to look up to meet her eye, and seeing her look down at you makes you gulp.

“You have a good rest of your night, sweetheart,” she continues, nodding down at your bag. “Don’t work too hard. Relax, enjoy yourself, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathe out. “I will. Thank you.”

Tess winks at you with a soft nod of her head. She and Joel say quick goodbyes before she’s shutting your door and heading back inside. As Joel turns on the car, you reach up to pull your seatbelt into place. You’re able to pull it out about an inch before it locks. You pull it a couple of times, trying to get it to unlock, but it won’t budge. You let it go with a huff, ready to give up on it.

“Oh, sorry about that,” Joel says. “Damn thing’s finicky as hell, been meaning to take it apart see what’s wrong with it for ages. Lemme help.”

Before you even have a chance to respond, Joel’s reaching over the center to grab ahold of the seatbelt. His body leans over yours, your face leveled perfectly with his chest. Your senses are overwhelmed by him—the broadness of his body, his natural scent mixed with his cologne, the sound of his breathing in your ear. It all swirls together to steal the breath from your lungs. You feel dizzy, almost, completely surrounded by him.

You don’t know what he does to get the seatbelt to unlock, but he’s able to pull it out all the way. You expect him to hand it to you, but he doesn’t. Instead, he slowly leans back towards his seat, taking it with him. He uses both of his hands to adjust the seatbelt in place against your body, reaching down to buckle it in for you. The click of the buckle feels deafening in the quiet car.

“There you go,” Joel murmurs, still close enough to you that you can feel his breath against the side of your face.

With a shaking breath, you slowly turn your head to face him. He’s so fucking close, your lips a hairs-breadth away from his. It’d be so easy for you to just lean forward and close the distance between the two of you, to put your lips on his. You couldn’t do that, though.

Could you?

Joel makes the decision for you, closing the space between you and kissing you with fervor. The force of it makes you moan, and he doesn’t miss the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. Your eyes flutter shut as your hands reach up to tangle into his hair, gripping it and pulling him even closer to you. He groans into your mouth, the sound vibrating down your body and settling in your core.

He nips at your bottom lip, grabbing it between his teeth and pulling on it. The pain of his bite and the sharpness of the tug makes you whine. He soothes the ache with his tongue. Slowly, he plants one smaller, softer kiss on your lips before he pulls away. He plops back down into the driver’s seat, his eyes glassy as he looks at you. Your chest is heaving, your lungs not able to take in enough air. He says something to you, but the blood in your head is pounding so loud you can’t hear him.

Joel says your name once, twice, three times before the sound registers in your brain. You blink rapidly in an attempt to clear your head. When your eyes finally refocus, you’re mortified by what you see.

He looks normal. His hair isn’t messed up from your fingers, his lips aren’t shiny and kiss-swollen, he’s not panting for breath. It’s as if he didn’t just give you the best kiss of your life.

It hits you, then, that you fucking imagined the whole thing. Your eyes go wide at the realization, embarrassment shooting through you. You laugh nervously, avoiding his eyes.

“Sorry! I must have spaced out. It’s been a long day,” you attempt to deflect, your voice completely lacking the confidence you need to sell it. “What’d you say?”

“I asked for your address,” he says, his voice laced with amusement. God, he must think you’re an idiot. You wouldn’t be surprised if he and Tess found a new babysitter for the kids.

You rattle off the address of your apartment building and he types it into his phone. Once he knows where he’s going, he backs out of the driveway and takes off down the street.

The car ride to your apartment building is spent in silence. You’re too embarrassed to speak and Joel seems to sense your unease, respecting it enough to not try and force conversation. You’re grateful for that, knowing you’d only make an even bigger fool of yourself if you tried to talk to him right now. After about fifteen minutes, Joel’s pulling into the parking lot of your building.

Before you can thank him for the ride home, he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car. You watch him through the windshield as he jogs across the front of the car and to your door. He opens it and leans over you, leaving you to stare at him, dumbfounded.

“This is it, right?” he asks. When you nod your head yes, he continues, “Aren’t you gonna get out, then?”

Without a word, you unbuckle your seatbelt and grab your bag from the floor. Joel moves out of the way enough for you to comfortably step out of the car, but the front of your body brushes against him as you do. You step away from him as subtly as you can while he closes the door.

“C’mon,” he says, nodding towards your building. “I’ll walk you to your door.”

You nod, shouldering your bag and heading in the direction of your apartment. The walk to your door is quick, thankfully. Under different circumstances, you’d be thrilled to be spending this much time alone with Joel. Right now, though, all you want is to go inside and be alone.

“This is me,” you say when you reach your apartment. You turn to Joel and plaster on what you hope to be a convincing smile. “Thanks again for the ride home.”

“Anytime,” he says with a soft grin. “You head on inside, now. Enjoy your night.”

Your smile morphs into something softer, more genuine, as you nod your head. “Okay, I will. Goodnight, Joel.”

“G’night, sweetheart.”

He watches as you unlock the door with shaking hands, waits until you step inside, and give him a shy, parting smile. You don’t hear his retreating footsteps until after you click the lock into place. You drop your bag to the floor and turn to press your back against the cool wood of the door.

“Fuck,” you say out into your quiet apartment. For the first time all evening, you feel like you can breathe. Finally alone, you allow yourself to acknowledge how uncomfortably wet your panties have gotten. You’re gonna need to take care of that before you can focus on anything else.

Joel takes the stairs up to the second floor two at a time when he gets home. He’s anxious to get to Tess, having made the fifteen-minute ride home in less than ten. He’s hard in his jeans, practically bursting through the fly. He needs Tess, and he needs her now.

When he enters their shared bedroom, he finds her reclined on the bed, a book in her hands. She’s already changed out of her outfit from dinner, replacing her cocktail dress with a simple blue nightie. He couldn’t care less what she’s wearing right now, though—it’ll be on the floor in a matter of minutes.

Tess smirks when she gets a good look at Joel. His cheeks are flushed red, his pupils are blown wide, his chest is heaving. She slowly sets the book down on the bedside table and asks, “I take it dropping her off went fine.”

“Fine,” Joel grumbles as he approaches her, working at the buttons of his shirt. When it’s open, hanging unbuttoned off his shoulders, he grabs her ankle, pulling her down the bed to meet him at the edge. He grinds his hard cock against her clothed center, the twin groans echoing through the room. “Does this feel like it went fine to you?”

“Jesus, Joel,” Tess whimpers, shifting her hips to try and get more friction. “What the hell happened?”

“I’ll tell you what the hell happened,” Joel huffs. His hands find the hem of her nightie, roughly pulling it up and over her head. He drops it to the ground without ceremony and shrugs his own shirt off all the way. He takes a moment to admire Tess’ bare body underneath him, how beautiful she looks with her hair fanning out against the sheets, the way her chest heaves with each excited breath.

He continues, looking back up at her eyes, “The fuckin’ seatbelt locked on her and she couldn’t get it out. Had to reach over and do it for her. Could feel her breathin’ on my skin. Took everything in me not to fuck her right there in the front seat. She spaced out, got that glassy look in her eyes, the same one you get when you come. Don’t know what she was thinkin’ about, but I could tell she wanted it just as bad as I did. Then I had to spend fifteen fuckin’ minutes in the car with her, alone, all while tryin’ not to finish in my pants like a goddamn teenager.”

“Fuck,” Tess breathes out. Her hands slide up Joel’s arms and over his shoulders before curling into his hair and tugging. He groans at the sensation, dropping his head to rest against hers. “Tell me what she looked like when you buckled her in.”

Joel continues to grind his hips down against Tess, uncaring of the mess she’s undoubtedly making on his pants. He’s relishing in the noises she’s making for him as she thinks of you. It makes him harder than it should, knowing his partner is getting off to the thought of another person. He answers her, “She looked so fuckin’ sweet. Her lips were parted, eyes blown wide. She was tremblin’, could it feel it when I situated the strap against her chest. Poor thing didn’t know what to do with herself.”

“Jesus Christ,” Tess whimpers. She bucks her hips up into his, whining at the friction. It’s good, but it’s not enough. “Need you, Joel. Want you to fuck me while you tell me how we’d fuck her if she were here.”

Joel practically growls at Tess’ request. He pulls away from her just long enough to get his jeans and boxers off and onto the floor. He’s back on her in a second, pushing one of her thighs down on the bed to spread her open for him.

“Filthy fuckin’ woman,” Joel grumbles as he runs the tip of his cock over Tess’ soaked pussy. He taps the tip against her clit a few times, smirking at the whine it draws out from her throat. “Need my cock while we talk about fuckin’ the babysitter, huh?”

It happens in the blink of an eye. One second, he’s hovering over her, teasing and taunting her. The next, Joel’s laying flat on his back, Tess straddling his hips. He barely has time to register the change in position before she’s sinking down on him all the way. The feeling of her warm, wet cunt wrapped so suddenly around his cock forces a shout from his mouth. She covers his mouth with one of her hands, looking down at him with a glare as her chest heaves.

“I said talk, Miller,” Tess says breathlessly, lifting up a little before sinking back down. The movement makes Joel groan, the sound vibrating against her hand and sending a shiver throughout her body. “Not tease. Now, you’re gonna shut up and listen while I tell you what we’d do if she were here.”

Joel nods his agreement, the fire in his eyes dimming and turning glassy now that Tess has taken over. Her movements start out slow, letting them both adjust to the feeling of his cock being inside of her. Joel groans against Tess’ hand and she smirks down at him, rolling her hips faster over him, moving in a way she knows is going to get both of them to the end quickly.

“I know you’re just dyin’ to find out what her pussy tastes like,” Tess moans. “I’d spread her open for you, have her back pressed tight up against my chest, put my legs over hers so she couldn’t shut ‘em.”

She cuts herself off with a whimper as Joel’s hips buck up to meet the movements of her hips. They settle into a rhythm together, Joel fucking up into her every time she moves to sink down on him. She continues, “Let you bury your face in her sweet cunt while I play with her tits. You’re so good with your tongue, Joel, you’d make her come so hard.”

Joel lets out a muffled fuck, his eyes screwing shut as he imagines what Tess is describing to him. You, with your beautiful body on display for them, your legs spread open by Tess’, your pretty pussy wet and needy for his mouth. He wonders what kind of sounds you’d make—would you be loud, your moans rumbling out of your chest unabashedly? Or would you be quiet, soft whines and whimpers falling from your lips? He wouldn’t care—he’d want it all.

“I’d put her mouth to work next,” Tess says, breaking his attention from the fantasy. “Let her eat my pussy while you fuck her from behind. Would you like that? Do you wanna fuck her tight little pussy while she eats me out?”

Joel nods his head furiously in agreement. Yes, he very much wants that. He can see it so clearly in his mind—Tess writhing in pleasure while you lick at her cunt, your own moans vibrating through her while Joel takes your pussy hard and fast. He’d have the perfect view of your ass, able to see the way your skin ripples with the force of his thrusts. He could grab both of your cheeks in his hands, could smack them ‘til they were hot and burning. You’d take it all—you’d take everything from them. It’s that thought that brings Joel to his end.

His orgasm hits him like a storm, his hips stuttering against Tess’ as he moans brokenly behind her hand. His cock twitches inside of her, filling her up with the thick ropes of his come. She sighs at the feeling, moving faster to work him through it. She finally pulls her hand away from his mouth and he takes in a shuddering breath, watching with hooded eyes as she licks the pads of two of her fingers. Quickly, she brings them down to where she and Joel are joined, rubbing her clit in tight, wet circles. It only takes her a moment to come, too, the fluttering of her pussy around his over-sensitive cock pulling a hoarse shout from him.

Tess falls forward onto Joel’s chest when she’s come down from her high. He wraps his arms around her, holding her tightly against them as they both fight to catch their breaths. The weight of Tess’ body on top of his, the warm air of her breathing on his chest, helps to ground Joel back in reality. He can’t remember the last time he came that hard, and he almost feels guilty about the fact that it was because he was thinking about you.

He doesn’t feel guilty, though. Not when he knows talking about you got Tess off, too.

Tess pushes herself up on shaking arms and smiles down at Joel. “Told you so.”

Joel’s face scrunches up in confusion. “What?”

“In the car,” Tess says, her smile morphing into more of a smirk. “I said I knew you wanted to fuck her just as much as I did. The way you just came from me talkin’ about her proved me right.”

“Shut up,” Joel scoffs out with a laugh. He leans up to kiss her, entirely too soft and sweet for the way she’s still sitting on his softening cock, his come leaking out around the sides. She smiles against his lips, pulling away slightly to peck him a few times in rapid succession.

“Think she got off thinking about us tonight, too?” Tess asks against Joel’s lips.

He groans in response, his eyes falling shut. “You’re a fucking menace.”

You can hardly wait to lock yourself in your room after Joel brings you home to kick off your shorts and panties. You’re aching, desperate to make yourself come and hopefully clear some of the brain fog he and Tess have caused you this evening. You get comfortable in your bed, pull your vibrator out from your nightstand, and get to work.

Your orgasm comes easily. You’re already so close to the edge, all of your thoughts and fantasies of Joel and Tess—them together, separately, both with you and without you—blurring in your head as you work your vibrator over your clit. Within a matter of minutes, you’re coming, your back arching off of the bed and their names falling from your lips like a prayer.

You swirl your vibrator around your clit a few more times until the oversensitivity becomes too much. You click the toy off and toss it to the side. With a frustrated sigh, you bring your hands up to rub at your eyes.

It’s nearly painful how badly you want Joel and Tess. You thought that, maybe, if you could make yourself come to the thought of them just once, you’d be able to clear your system. That you could go back to functioning around them like a normal person. The dull ache that still remains in your pussy, despite having come already and being too sensitive to try for another one, only serves to prove your theory wrong.

You haven’t cleared them from your system. In fact, it seems like you’ve only made your desire for them worse. You can’t stop thinking about them, what it’d be like for them to take you to bed. You don’t think they’d be slow or sweet—or at least Tess wouldn’t. No, she’d tease you, work you up and bring you just to the edge, over and over, but wouldn’t let you fall. She’d keep you hanging until you were begging for it. Only then would she let you come, maybe on her fingers, probably on her tongue.

Then there’s Joel. God, what would it be like to fuck him? Would he hold you close as he sunk into you? Or would he push your face down into the mattress and haul your ass up into the air so he could fuck you from behind? Your read on him wasn’t as solid as your read on Tess, but fuck, did you like to imagine him any way you could.

The thought of Joel fucking you from behind while your tongue is buried in Tess’ pussy springs to your mind. It sends a jolt of arousal through your body and makes your cunt throb. You let out a pitiful whimper as you look over at your vibrator. Fuck it, you think, reaching for the toy again and clicking it on.

You don’t even try to muffle the moan that tears from your throat when you press the toy against your clit. You work it over your sensitive bundle as you continue to imagine Joel’s cock pounding into you, your tongue working over Tess’ pussy sloppily. You can practically hear the sounds they’d make, Joel’s rough grunts and Tess’ low moans. You’d whimper into Tess, the vibration traveling through her body. She’d grab your head and hold you steady, grinding her pussy up into your eager mouth. Both of them would take and take and take from you—and you’d be all too happy to give.

You feel like you might pass out then and there when you come for a second time. Stars burst behind your eyelids as your cunt tightens and contracts around nothing. Your thighs clamp shut around your hand as you ride out the waves of pleasure. With shaking fingers, you turn off your vibrator and drop it onto the bed beneath you.

You barely register the sound of your phone dinging with a text notification over the rush of blood in your head. You ignore it until your breathing has gone back to normal and your body has stopped shaking. When you grab it and open up your text messages, you nearly drop the device on your face at seeing Tess’ name on your screen.

Hey sweetheart! Sorry to bug ya so late, but wanted to ask before I forgot. Joel and I both have to work late on Monday and the kids all have their different practices after school. If you’re free, can you get ‘em where they need to be, then hang out with them out at the house til one of us gets home? We’ll pay extra since it’s so last minute, just let us know 😘

Fuck. You can’t do it. Not so soon after tonight. You wouldn’t be able to survive it.

Your hands are moving over your keyboard, tapping out a response before your brain even has time to catch up.

“I don’t have to work late on Monday,” Joel murmurs. Tess scoffs and rolls her eyes at him.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t have to know that. Go grab a beer with Tommy after work or something. It’s just to get her over here again.”

As much as Joel wants to have you join him and Tess in bed, he’s unsure of her plan to test the waters with you. It seems risky, like it could maybe back you into a corner that you don’t want to be in.

“We’ll both get her alone,” Tess had said after they’d cleaned up together. “Flirt a little, see how she reacts. Maybe we can each make a little move on her. If she seems into it, we’ll talk to her about joining us.”

“Think it’ll work?” Joel had asked skeptically.

Tess gave him a mischievous little smile. “It’ll work.”

Tess’ phone vibrates before he can respond. She quickly unlocks it, opening up the text notification from you. Joel gulps as he reads it, Tess’ face breaking out into a wide smile as she does.

Of course! It won’t be a problem at all. See you on Monday 😊

Joel rereads the text over and over and over again. It’s a simple response, nothing out of the ordinary for your exchanges with Tess. But it ignites a—perhaps unfounded—spark of hope in his belly.

Maybe this will work.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tess servopoulos x reader #tess servopoulos x you #joel miller x tess servopoulos #joel miller fanfiction #tess servopoulos fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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lokischocolatefountain · 1 year

Text

not to feel the way I felt—

Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO)

Pairing: Joel Miller x Tess Servopoulos

Word Count: 3.9k words

Summary: “I never ask you for anything, not to feel the way I felt—” Moments in their lives where Joel felt something, if not they way she felt.

A/N: I love Joel and Tess. They are mom and dad, they’re endgame, they’re the most beautiful and tragic love story and it was physically painful to not write them.

“I don’t need it that bad, Tess.”

She let out a mocking laugh and placed her hands on her waist. Head tilted and eyes squinting down at him, she asked, “What, so you have morals now? Is that it?”

He snorted and pushed the plate of cooked rabbit harder than he was supposed to. It hit the wall, the plate shattering and spilling the food all over the floor. That had done it for her. When she turned around, her features were taught with fury, her clenched fists banged against the table.

“Fuck you, Joel!”

He deserved that. In a fit of rage, he’d declined the only food they’d found recently. It was cold out and they had three mouths to feed but only two pairs of capable hands what with Tommy being indisposed. As they argued in the little shed they’d come to call home, his little brother was half-asleep in the warmest corner, shivering under the only blanket they had. He’d fed him the last of the chicken broth they had left from the last time they successfully raided a supermarket.

“I can’t eat that, Tess,” he said softly, his lips trembling as his mind replayed the state of her when she came home with the chicken. He still couldn’t look at her, the guilt eating away at his heart as he thought of what must’ve gone though her head to agree to such a thing for food.

“We’ve done far worse for food. This is nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” he said, his voice breaking. It was his fault. He should have been the one to go out for food, but he let his emotions win out and stayed behind with Tommy. His fault that they didn’t have enough ammo to begin with. If they did, he knew she wouldn’t have hesitated to shoot those guys up for the two rabbits she’d gotten from them.

“If you don’t eat that, Miller, I’ll fucking kill you myself. I don’t care. One less mouth to feed.”

She wouldn’t, he knew that. But the fact that she would make such a threat was enough to show him how grave their situation was. She picked up her own plate and dug into her share of the rabbit she traded for…for lack of a better word, sex. She stabbed at the meat with the knife she’d pushed into many men, tearing the charred animal apart before shoving a big piece in her mouth. Bite after bite, she ate so quickly that he doubted that she chewed well enough.

His stomach growled and his tongue salivated at the sight of the meat on the broken plate. He closed his eyes, scolding himself for wanting the food he’d so adamantly rejected. Hunger had company in his belly that stirred, feeling queasy from the reminder of how broken she looked when she came back. It wasn’t just the physical aspect of it all— the limp in her walk, her swollen lips, the hand mark around her throat. She had an emptiness in her eyes, like the emptiness in Sarah’s when she died in his arms.

Tess looked dead.

She ate and walked around and screamed at him for not eating the rabbit she’d secured, but she might as well be dead from the blankness of her stare. He thanked the sun for setting early on him, for giving him the small mercy of not having to see her in that state again. But this wasn’t something that would go away. It wasn’t a unique feature of the collapsed world. Women had faced all this before and they continued to face it in the ruins of a world that was never safe for them. He knew that she would carry it with her forever.

When she was done, she collected the meat he’d kicked away like an ungrateful brat and wrapped it up before storing it under the blanket of snow at the shed’s door. They couldn’t let it lie there just because he couldn’t stomach it. Food was food. It was the most valuable thing in the new world. They’d lied, killed and stabbed allies in the back for it. She’d exchanged herself for it.

Despite their disagreement, they found warmth in each other’s arms as they huddled together in the cold. All their blankets had gone toward keeping Tommy warm and he felt a surge of guilt for keeping her cold and uncomfortable for his brother. He was his family. She wasn’t. She had no obligation to keep Tommy alive. But she did anyway. He owed her. But so did she. The three of them had saved each other too many times for them to keep a record and pay off debts. Protecting each other was just the way of life now.

Joel pulled her closer to his chest when he felt her shaking. She cried easily unlike him. While he let everything fester inside and weight him down, she let everything out every now and then. She cried her heart out, sometimes even screamed if they were a safe distance from infected, and was back to work within minutes like nothing had happened. She was practical with her emotions, chewing on it and spitting it out so that she could have a clear head for whatever they had to do next.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her matted hair. She shook in his arms and stained his freshly cleaned shirt with her tears. He held her as he did many other nights when she called out for her husband and son in her sleep. He held her as he would for the many other nights to come in their decades of life together.

“What stupid thing do you miss?” Tommy asked, nailing the planks together for the boat they were building for the next step in their journey. The question wasn’t for Joel, but he answered in his head- popsicles. Tommy and Tess were talkative. It was how they kept themselves going. Joel did not participate, but he listened. That was how he kept going.

“I don’t know… I don’t think much about the stupid shit,” she answered as she cleaned their guns. “Refrigerator? We could really use that right now.”

“Nah! I told you stupid thing, not something useful. Tell me something that’s some useless shit.”

“Makeup, I guess. I didn’t wear much, but I liked lipsticks a lot.”

“Dang, yeah that’s pretty useless. I miss my hair conditioner. It smelled nice and made my hair all soft and curly. Chicks dug it.”

She laughed and ruffled Tommy’s sticky, greasy hair before letting out an exaggerated sound of disgust. “I miss cheese. God I would kill for cheese right now.”

The duo went back and forth, discussing what useless thing they missed the most as he worked with them in silence.

Maybe that was why he stepped into the old cosmetics store once he was done with the handover of the pills they’d smuggled into the QZ. It was one of the stores that hadn’t been picked over already. He wasn’t a complete stranger to beauty stores, but they still made him uncomfortable with their unfamiliarity. He stopped when found a shelf with lipstick…cartridges? No, that was not the right word.

This was so stupid.

He picked one off the shelf and rotated the bottom of the thing like he’d seen many women do. He wasn’t completely clueless. A repulsively bright pink color popped out and he winced internally about how much Tess would hate the color. He’d never seen her in makeup before. Not many opportunities for that in a fucking apocalypse. But something told him that she wouldn’t like something so…loud. He went through each one, imagining Tess’ reaction to the colors and putting them down when he found an argument against each one.

Take one of each, a voice in him screamed. He could. It wasn’t like he had to pay for them. She would laugh in his face if he returned to her apartment with not just the cards he traded for pills, but lipsticks. She would laugh at the one lipstick he intended to take back to her. But multiple would have her mocking him for the rest of their lives. Tess wasn’t one for anything that wasn’t practical. Every little thing they put in their pack on their journey to the Boston QZ, she evaluated for their uses. Nothing frivolous went in her pack. Except for her wedding band and engagement ring.

When he found a soft pink, he stopped his search. It wasn’t too much. It was a pretty color and they looked close enough to the natural pink of lips. Not her lips. He remembered the color of her lips well enough. And he thought this color wouldn’t look too bad over it. He slipped it into his pocket with the magazine he had found for his gun, feeling ridiculous but not regretting it one bit.

The mocking was worth it for how her newly painted lips stretched up in a smile as she looked at her own reflection on the switchblade she had in her pocket. And it was more than worth it when the pretty pink lips wrapped around his dick that night.

iii

“N-no, I don’t have the cards for that.” She curled in on herself, shaking in cold despite the sweltering heat of the summer day. Beads of sweat collected on her burning forehead and he pushed her hair out of the way to see her properly. Her condition had only gotten worse over the night. He would’ve gone out in the dark of night to get her the medicines she needed, but she insisted that sleep would cure her. Bullshit.

Now she’d given him the real reason for not letting him buy her medicines— she didn’t have enough cards to exchange for it. She was stubborn, didn’t like owing anyone anything. She would kill a bunch of people before accepting help. He could empathize with that. But he could also lie to give her the medicines he’d bought by adding some of his cards to hers. The fight they’d have over it was for him to deal with later.

“You did. You’re just shit at counting,” he lied, sitting next to her. The water he’d heated up for her sat untouched in the vessel on the concrete blocks they called bedside table.

He fed her first, scooping out the red beans from the rusting can and feeding it to her one by one. She did not put up a fight. She accepted his assistance and even held on to his arm the whole time. Her eyes were glazed over and it felt like she weighed much less as she placed her entire weight on him when she fell onto his lap. He managed to coax the pills into her, but barely as she almost spit one of them out and he had to force it back through her lips.

Tess mumbled in her sleep all night. But that was not the reason he couldn’t get himself to close his eyes. He had to monitor her temperature. He had to make sure she would be alright. If there were no signs of her condition getting better, he would have to wake her up to force more pills into her system. If she didn’t get better by the morning, he would have to drag her to the old doctor in their building with a promise of more Oxy for her.

The shitty alcohol they’d traded for sat on the kitchen counter, calling on to him to take just one sip. Just one or two or more to numb the ache that had etched itself permanently in his muscles. He hadn’t gone without drinking for…since forever. It was the only way to get a decent few hours of sleep so that he could go out for work the next day. He had to work the next day. Sewage duty. With her incapacitated, more work was crucial to survival. What he’d make the next day would barely cover what they needed, but there was no choice. He had to go no matter how much his muscles ached and his bones creaked.

Pins and needles pierced his head as the clock ticked. His hands shook like they did the first time he took a life. He really needed a fucking drink. He’d gone too many hours without one.

He played with the revolver in his hand, opening and closing the cylinder to see chambers half full. It wouldn’t take much. Everything would be over in just a second. He sighed, burying his face in his hands as he tried to rid himself of his thoughts. Staying awake was a danger to his life.

She mumbled more, pulling him out of his destructive thoughts. He adjusted himself on the bed and placed the back of his hand on her forehead to check her temperature. Still burning up.

He slinked out of bed and began packing back and forth, ignoring the head-splitting pain and his increased heart rate. He needed to keep it together. He needed to stay up and stay sober. For Tess.

“Fuck, sweetheart! Feel so good,” he grunted as she fucked him, her thighs pressing him into the couch and her fists clenched around his shirt. He wanted to keep his eyes open, to see how free and beautiful she looked taking him like that. Their world did not offer much room for beauty. He’d found things beautiful on their trips outside the QZ, but rarely allowed himself to appreciate it. But her beauty surrounded him, it was all-consuming and undeniable even in the long-abandoned house that was covered in dust. He couldn’t help but lean in, couldn’t stop himself as he buried his face in her neck and placed tender kisses on her marred skin.

“Joel,” she whimpered, her eyes tightly shut as she took her pleasure from him. His hand wandered all over her back and trembled as it drifted beneath her shirt. He’d never done that before, never touched the bare skin on her back when they were intimate. They never took their clothes off with each other, never gave in to the need to rip everything off of each other to see what hid underneath tattered fabric.

He’d seen her and she’d seen him.

They’d undressed one another, nursed each other’s wounds and bathed each other when they were too weak and beaten up to care for themselves. He knew what she looked like, had seen the freshly bleeding gashes, debrided them, put her back together. She’d see him, the wounds from others and the wounds self-inflicted, not questioning any of them, never asking why he’d attempted to take his own life. He’d seen her in the bullet wounds he’d sewn up as she bit down on his crumpled up shirt to keep herself from screaming too loud.

He’d seen the straight line across under her belly and the light pink streaks that were the only thing she had left of her son and he wished to himself that he’d been the one to bear his child just so he could have something left of his fatherhood other than the festering emptiness in his chest.

They’d seen all of each other, bit by bit, but never all at once. They’d seen each other when in pain but never in pleasure. What they had was built on death and decay. It was ugly yet safe, closed off but the most open they could be with another person.

“Tess, darlin’ please,” he cried as she grinded on his lap, heightening his pleasure. He reached between them and found her clit, using the little gentleness he had left in him to make her feel good. She whimpered his name back to him as she struggled with the pleasure just as he did. He grabbed her hip with one hand and dug his fingers in, hoping that the next time he got to see an inch of her skin it would be bruised from his hand. It would be a kind of symbol, something to show for whatever they had.

They had nothing else to make claims upon each other. There were no rings, no papers from the government to declare that whatever they had was real. They didn’t hold hands, didn’t kiss the other goodbye, but she was his and he was hers, undeniably so.

She tightened around him, her nails digging into him through his shirt and he pulled her close and pressed his lips on hers, drinking in her moans to quench his thirst. A familiar metallic taste filled his mouth as he bit down and drew blood. He pulled back for air and took her face in, took in all the beauty of her in the pleasure that she found in his body. She slumped over him and so he took over the reins and fucked into her, chasing his own pleasure as she whimpered softly in her post-orgasmic exhaustion.

“I love you.”

His heart stopped and he gasped, his mouth falling open in as much pleasure as it did shock. He caught just a glimpse of her pained expression before his eyes closed and his thighs clenched as he chased the high of the only indulgence he’d allowed himself.

“I— I can’t,” he said, his voice thick and shaking from emotion. “Sorry, I—”

It was hell just to see the heartbreak on her face, so he looked away. His lap felt lighter as she removed herself from him, letting him spill out on her thigh and over his cock. But his heart sank under the pressure of the new burden he’d acquired, one he didn’t know he would carry beyond the day she would burn down to the earth and he would run with a kid on whom she would place all her remaining hope. He’d always carry the guilt of not being human enough to remember love, not being man enough to have anything left of himself to give her. Nothing to give but taking everything from carnal pleasure as they fucked to safety when she lied behind him and pressed her chest to his back.

“I don’t know why I…” she said, shuffling awkwardly in front of him once she’d pulled her jeans back on. “Sorry.”

He’d found it deep inside his pocket one day.

Ellie had the habit of leaving bits of paper in her pockets so he’d begun checking them to empty them out before he did their laundry. He checked his pocket too for some reason and he’d found it in the back pocket of jeans he wore on his travel to Jackson. It must’ve taken him so long to find because he rarely ever wore the pair, the wear and tear less of a reason than the fact that he couldn’t squeeze himself into it anymore. Three meals a day everyday did that to a man.

It had survived the trip somehow. All twisted up and elongated, well worn beyond repair but tied together to make a closed loop so that she could put her hair back. Strands of grey and brown hair were tangled up around the elastic and he closed his eyes as he recalled the times they slept with their heads together and her hair tickling his skin to wake him up in the mornings. As he pulled the spare pillow to his chest and imagined it was her.

He couldn’t help but wonder what life would’ve been like had she survived just a little longer. If their luck had stretched out just a little behind those twenty years he spent giving her nothing. He would give her everything now.

She had always been so gentle with him. The world had broken her just as it did him, but she always handled him with care, seeing the light when he couldn’t and holding his hand and leading him through his darkness. Protecting him from himself as he protected her. No matter his cruelty, no matter the void in his chest where a heart once used to be, she was gentle. She stood on the other side of his walls even though she unlocked the door into hers whenever he asked. While Tess had always stood respectfully on the other side of his walls, Ellie had broken in brashly and shaken him up and made him care.

Made him love.

Heart full of love aplenty, he showered Ellie with it all. He gave some to Tommy’s kid, surprised at the lack of resentment for the man who had in this child what he once had in Sarah. He gave little bits and pieces to the food he cooked and the furniture he built and the guitar he played by the fire when Ellie asked for it.

He gave plenty of it to Tommy. He gave it knowing he’d been safe and sound in Jackson all along. Safe and sound and happily married while Tess burnt down believing he didn’t feel the way she felt.

Even in death, she protected him.

He wrapped his hand around the elastic and the strands of her hair and closed his eyes, willing sleep to come just so that he could see her again in his nightmares.

Some nights, he stood by as the fire ate into her skin and consumed her whole. She was always alive for it, speaking his name as he failed her again. Some nights, she asked him why he gave her nothing though she gave him everything. She died every night in multiple ways and he woke up, a grieving man with no term for what he was without her, nothing to legitimize his loss.

On the most cruel nights, she didn’t die.

She didn’t suffer.

The marks on her face and the grays in her hair were all gone and she was in his house in Texas, curled up behind him. She told him she loved him and he was the kind of man who said it back a million times and made her smile. They worked together, she the engineer and he the contractor and she led and he followed. Those nights, she knew Sarah and Sarah knew Tess’s son and they all knew Ellie. Those nights, they were husband and wife, mom and dad, engineer and contractor, man and woman wrapped up together as they waited for the alarm to pry them apart for the working day ahead.

He craved the cruel nights the most, giving all his love to the Tess-shaped delusion he perpetually reached out to, whether his eyes were opened or closed.

He would always reach for the hand that used to wrap around his torso as they slept. He would cook her recipes and taste her favorite dishes and lazily rub the wounds on his body that she’d once tended to. He would lie awake in the dark as he did then and long to give her what she gave him.

He would remember her, Tess Servopolous, all her courage and strength, all her hope and optimism. Until the earth claimed him too, he would luxuriate in all his nightmares where she asked everything of him and he gave freely and where she didn’t have to ask him to feel the way she felt.

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