#tabitha; head canons
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Muses within the 2SLGBTQI+ community:
Pansexual 1/?
Tabitha Finnigan
Phoenix Jules
Ares Knight
Amaranthine Graves
Arlo Crawford (preference for men)
Bastian Merryweather
Beckett Marrin
Brynn Swanson
Corrine Plyth
Donovan Kole
Effie Solomon
Evan Calloway
Fievel Crowley
Ray Croft
Foster Fornell
Clancy Cleason
Jack Frost Junior
Ilsa Romanov
Lester Meeks
Lex Murphy
Dinah Crombie
Lucy Gray
Lucky Prachett
Virgo Patterson
Lyla Brooks
Flynn Flint
Morgana Rosenfield
Harold White (the white rabbit)
Chessa Felinia (the cheshire cat)
#tabitha; head canons#phoenix; head canons#ares; head canons#amaranthine; head canons#arlo; head canons#bastian; head canons#beckett; head canons#brynn; head canons#corrine; head canons#donovan; head canons#effie; head canons#evan; head canons#fievel; head canons#ray; head canons#foster; head canons#clancy; head canons#frost; head canons#ilsa; head canons#lex; head canons#lester; head canons#dinah; head canons#lucy; head canons#lucky; head canons#virgo; head canons#lyla; head canons#flynn; head canons#morgana; head canons#white rabbit; head canons#cheshire cat; head canons
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Photo Folders (Illyatticus)
Tabitha pops her head into the New Mutant’s HQ’s common area, looking over at Illyana, who is sitting on the couch drinking a cup of coffee.
Tabitha: Hey Yana, my phone’s dead, do you mind if I swipe yours for a second?
Illyana hands her phone over to Tabitha behind her shoulder, accidentally opening her photo gallery.
Tabiha: Thanks. [Pause] Oh wow…
Illyana: What?
Tabitha: You have… a lot of folders for Atti pics huh?
Illyana’s eyes go wide and she leaps off of the couch.
Illyana: What!?
She jumps over the couch to grab her phone, Tabitha stepping back with a smirk.
Illyana: Give me that!
Tabitha: I mean damn girl! Let’s see what we have here….
Illyana: I’ll kill you!
Tabitha: (Reading) Atti smiling, Atti sleeping, Atti with animals, Atti with kids! Aww that one is so cute!
Illyana summons her sword, swinging it at Tabitha. Tabs, like any good prankster, channels Bugs Bunny and dodges around while still reading.
Tabitha: Atti without a shirt on, Atti with stuffed animals that look like him, Atti's- Oh my God… Yana~
Illyana: Hey! Don’t look at those!
Tabitha: Sorry to invade on your 'special alone time' folder haha!
Illyana roars and swings her sword again. This time it cuts into the kitchen counter, causing both women to freeze for a second in panic. Tabitha grins awkwardly as Illyana prepares another swing.
Tabihta: Y’know, Yana, you really shouldn’t be so afraid of your emotions, it’s important for- OH SHIT!
Illyana swings her sword, barely missing Tabitha. The two chase each other around the common room, Illyana shouting death threats. In the doorway, Atticus and Dani watch on, Atticus looking on with fond amusement while Dani sighs loudly.
Dani: Did you know about the pictures?
Atticus: Of course, Illyana snickers while she takes them, I could hear her doing it from a mile away. Sometimes I like to pose to make the pictures better.
Dani: Wow that’s… also weird. You two deserve each other.
#atticus moore#oc x canon#x-men oc#sorry i had this thought in my head and my fingers typed it out without me looking#illyatticus#illyana rasputin#tabitha smith#danielle moonstar
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Some head canon stuff below…
Maxie doesn’t get any chocolates on valentines, but it’s fine because he’s not really a fan of them. If you were to buy him some though, caramel or other rich chocolates would be fine and if you’re feeling particularly generous Liquor chocolate would also be greatly appreciated. Sniff… Only hypothetically though… sniff…
Tabitha is well liked and gets chocolates from everyone in the office. He’s not super picky but has a soft spot for anything coffee flavored and quite likes dark chocolate. Tabitha finds himself sharing most of his chocolate with Maxie during meetings.
Courtney gets the same packet of white chocolate on valentines every year from one of the lower ranking grunts, but prefers sweets. She really likes anything strawberry flavored, but gets really picky with the brands.
Archie doesn’t really like chocolate but appreciates the gift anyway and will happily share it with his crew, especially if some people didn’t get any valentines at all.
Shelly loves chocolate. If you give chocolate to Matt or Archie, chances are most of it will end up with her. She doesn’t eat it very often though, so she’s got a massive stash hidden somewhere. I’m sure no one will notice if a couple of boxes were to go missing, just don’t let her catch you, I’ve heard she gets pretty vicious.
Matt likes chocolate. He mostly ends up with protein bars though from well meaning grunts . If Shelly were more intent with stealing those than his occasional sweet treats he wouldn’t be searching so desperately for that stash of hers… His attempts are often fruitless.
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What do you think about it is about Kendall that’s it’s like, of course he’s the only one with a real friend?
It's lowkey one of my favourite choices on the show, anon, just because I think it's so revealing in more ways than one. Like, it makes sense, not just because of who Kendall is, but also who his siblings are, and the different ways they navigate their way through the world.
Interestingly, I think Connor and Shiv actually have the clearest boundary (or hurdle, depending on how you look at it) when it comes to fostering friendships, and while I think those things are different, I think they're both steeped in these factors of them as characters that shape their experiences of adulthood.
I think Connor's stems from an extremely disrupted childhood between his mother's mental health, her institutionalisation, his father's absence and reappearance, and then his being pushed into a parentified role to the golden trio at a formative age (canon explicitly tells us that too! Camping trips, fishing trips, fulfilling the father duties at Shiv's wedding before Logan decides to show up!) when he should've been away at college building his own relationships, in order to feel he had any sort of place in his family.
Similarly, I think Shiv has been soaked in hatred for her own gender since she's been born. Her relationship with her mother is strained and seems to have been weaponised by her father, she likely went to an all girls school (Spence, I imagine, which is basically the all girls equivalent of Buckley, the all boys school we know Kendall went to) and her own misogyny hampered any genuine friendship attempts. I think Shiv probably had frenemies, but nothing deeply meaningful, because vulnerability and emotional honesty is something she can't allow herself if she wants to survive in a male-dominated household festering in a male-dominated industry. I think male friendships were off the table in that sense too because Shiv seems to have always sought power in whatever way she could, and the two things she has to exert power are her name and her sexuality and at least her sexuality is hers.
I think Roman's a little harder to put a pin in in that sense, because I think he's a little bit of both of them, and a whole lot his own thing. I think he's experienced a part of Connor's disrupted childhood by having been shipped away to school and for his physical abuse, and I think he's experienced a part of Shiv's self-loathing for a part of his identity he can't face up to, but I also think Roman on paper should have friends. Roman's funny and insightful and (most of the time) the right sort of mean, and he's no more self-defensive than the rest of them, but I think the reason comes down to the biggest difference between him and Kendall:
Roman can be honest without being vulnerable, whereas Kendall can be vulnerable without being honest.
Roman as a character isn't actually particularly duplicitous. He can absolutely be an asshole, but he doesn't play to what people want in the way that both Kendall and Shiv (and even to an extent, Connor) do. His moments of vulnerability though are rare, often private, often, still, fleeting and guarded, while his moments of honesty are more frequent, yet often just ugly and naked and there. He fronts to it, and takes it, and usually tells the other person to take it too, which is what he did with Gerri and Tabitha and even Lawrence way back at the start of the series.
Kendall's not an honest person, but he is someone who's inherently vulnerable, and I think it pulls people to him, despite themselves. We've seen it in real time with Naomi and even Greg, and retrospectively with Rava, Stewy and Frank. He can break, he can curl in a lap or bury a head in a shoulder while still telling half truths or nothing at all. God, probably one of the best examples is in 2.04 when he pulls Shiv into a hug while talking around what she actually wants to hear.
Kendall lets people mop up the blood while he either tries to hide, ignore or justify the wound, and I think that vulnerability lets people feel a degree of intimacy with him and protectiveness of him that becomes muddied as they discover that Kendall is inherently a dishonest person and an addict, as it seems most characters in this show have learnt the hard way. After all, discovering that he's not told you a whole truth doesn't erase the memory of the weight of his head against your shoulder.
#i kind of had two responses to this one anon#but i thought this was maybe the more interesting one?#because i do think their circumstances and personality types have been really formative in their ability to form relationships#i do also think a lot about birth order with the four of them though and how that shapes the way they engage with others#a part of that too is the fact that i think stewy and kendall met when they were little kids#(they met at buckley! it's kindy to ninth grade!)#(in theory they would've been six!)#and i like the idea of their friendship starting over something pretty innocuous#because you have no idea right?#and then at some point they just clearly became ride or die#kendall roy#roman roy#shiv roy#connor roy#hbo succession#succession meta
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'DON'T BLAME ME, [PART FIVE]
-GOTHAM!JERVIS TETCH X READER-
⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; You discover Jervis has some skeletons in his closet. Perhaps literally.
⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!jervis x female reader. SLOW BURN!!! Not sure how many chapters this will be yet! LOTS OF PLOT SET-UP!! AGE GAP ROMANCE! (reader is Jim and Barbara's daughter) The slow burn is slow burning. She fell first, he fell harder. This part got some angst to it...the beginning of a whole mess. Writing this kind of artistically and as character studies for everyone. Reader meeting Alice. Jervis being an obsessive freak, per usual. Jim Gordon is STILL...Jim Gordoning. I'm taking canon out back and beating it with a stick until it stops twitching.
⋆ tag list (tell me if you want to be removed!) @adalwolfgang @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @honestmrdual @moonlightnyx @all-things-fandomstuck @killingboredom @sweetlimeharvest
⋆ 'PART ONE, - 'PART TWO, - 'PART THREE, - 'PART FOUR, - 'PART FIVE, - ‘PART SIX, - 'PART SEVEN, - 'PART EIGHT, - 'PART NINE, -'PART TEN, - 'PART ELEVEN, - 'PART TWELVE, - 'PART THIRTEEN,
♫ “For you, I would cross the line.” Don't Blame Me by Taylor Swift
Five minutes. Five minutes is all it takes for you to say, fuck that, I'm following them.
With Tabitha and Barbara doing god knows what, and Butch disappearing, probably to go take his anger out on some poor sap who tried to avoid tipping, you're left by yourself.
You always hated that pit of loneliness inside you. You had plenty of people in your life. Though, each one you counted, acted less like a friend, and more like a mentor of sorts. They were all either trying to parent you, or trying to guide you. Even Selina. You're a few years older than her. She still thinks she knows better then you.
Digging through your thoughts, your mind is made up. Besides, what if your dad tries something crazy on Mr. Tetch? He was ready to beat an answer out of him five minutes ago. You shudder.
Turning on your heel, you push through the people in the club. You hear the small noisy shouts of "Watch it!" and "Hey!" as you make your way out the back. You don't have the time to care right now.
You try to think about where they could be. The direction where Jervis turned. The rooftop. The balcony. It made sense in your head.
You finally hear your fathers distraught voice through the haze.
"So, what is it in Alice's blood that makes it so infectious?" He spits. "She doesn't look sick to me."
You peak through the window in the door. Watching the two standoff with one another. You're reminded of your mother telling you, you're such a curious little thing.
Then the ticking of a pocket watch makes your eyebrows furrow. You've heard that before.
"She's not sick," Jervis chimes, embittered. "She's powerful, sir."
"Powerful how?" Your father steps closer, and you watch on the edge of your seat. A pit forms in your stomach that something isn't right. "I need answers, Tetch."
"You deserve some." Jervis responds, half-heartedly, as though he really doesn't seem to care. "Do you hear my watch ticking?"
You watch in slow motion as it all falls down.
You see your father, listening, keen. You hear the ghosts of words on Jervis's tongue- speaking softly.
"It synchronizes with your heartbeat, yes?" Mr. Tetch sighs. You watch your dad zone out right before your eyes. With baited breath, you lean in closer. He's hypnotizing him. Why?
"Take out your gun and put it on the ground."
He could just be doing this to protect himself. You try to convince yourself. Dad has a reputation.
You watch as the gun clacks to the floor.
"Good," Jervis speaks, slowly. You feel your heartbeat quicken. "Now walk to the edge and climb onto the wall."
Fuck.
You're trying to comprehend the situation. You're frozen in place. There's no way your dad, or you for that matter, gets out of this alive. There's no way this is real.
This is Gotham, that voice in your head taunts. Anything's real.
You watch, as Jervis continues. With every insult, every remark, your father blindly agrees with him.
"I am going to count to ten. When I reach ten," Jervis has the gull to smirk. "You'll find everlasting peace."
Your fists clench.
"One."
You remember how your dad would come home after work on Fridays. He'd buy you pizza. Tell you to hide it from mom. It was your little secret.
"Two."
You think about how your dad looked when you told him you wanted to be just like him when you were older. Half happy. Half depressed.
"Three."
You think about how he's changed. Everything's changed. You wonder if a part of you wants him to die.
"Four."
You recount Jervis's words. He can only make a person do what they secretly wish to do. All this time, you thought you were keeping him afloat. The reason he was alive. His little girl. Were you never enough?
"Five-" Jervis begins, before a voice interrupts from behind you.
"Stop!" It's high-pitched, feminine. For a moment, you almost think you spoke. You see a woman march past you, opening the door. She ignores your presence, but offers you a scared glance. She has a gun in her hand.
You suddenly feel hot tears run down your cheeks. Were you crying?
Jervis whips his head around, and it's as though the world has been delivered to him on a silver platter. He marvels at the sight of the woman.
"Alice?" He breathes, not noticing your shaking form, still clinging to the shadows in the doorway. "Thank god! At last, I've finally found you!" You feel your eyes and throat burn, trying to keep quiet. You can't stop staring at your father hanging over the balcony.
"Tell that man to get off the ledge." She speaks, firm, but her voice breaks. So this is Alice, the woman he's been dying to find.
Between desperation and anger and anxiety you don't know if jealousy is an emotion you should be feeling right now. But it's buried deep inside the pile, beside yourself. Nothing feels right. It only makes your stomach twist more.
"Never mind him, put down the gun." Mr. Tetch puts his hand out to the gun. He reminds you of the boogieman you were scared of when you were younger.
"Mister! Get down!" The girl calls, and you feel guilty for feeling that twinge of jealousy. She's doing more to save your father than you are. The thought elicits another scared sob from you that you choke down.
"He can't hear you," Jervis assures her. His voice is gentle in comparison to what it was with your father. It's like how he was with you.
"Don't come near me." She stands, grip on the gun tightening.
"Why are you here if you don't want to talk?" There's something in his voice that breaks. It makes you hate him. Hate how much you still feel sorry for him.
The woman starts to cry, the same as you.
"Put the gun down, Alice." He urges.
"You're evil." She breathes, and you wonder if anyone's truly evil in the world. You think of your mom. You think of the man who tortured her into becoming what she is. "Leave me alone!" Alice screeches, and her grip on the gun starts to shake.
No, no, no, no. Don't you dare miss this shot. A part of you argues. A different part of you hopes she misses entirely.
"But Alice," He looks desperate. "I love you."
At those three words, the shot rings out. You close your eyes at the sound of him letting out a groan, and the bang that echoes through the balcony. You see your father loose his footing on the ledge.
Silence be damned, you think. You rush to your dad in the flurry of bullets. The woman continues to shoot at Jervis, scared out of her mind. He hurries away, heavily breathing. Before he parts, he catches your gaze. You don't make out the rest of his face. Just those dark eyes that have been haunting your dreams.
You and Alice both pull Jim back before he falls, tears staining both of your cheeks. As he steadies his footing, all you and her can do is look at one another. Your lungs frantically breathe for air.
When a moment has passed, adrenaline closing, your father looks at Alice. As though you're not even there. In a way, you don't blame him. In a different way, how could he know you didn't step in? He should be thanking god he's still alive to hug his daughter.
"Thank you." He tells her. He doesn't look at you.
The click of handcuffs is the only thing you hear as he grabs Alice's wrist.
#gotham#x reader#gotham x reader#batman#batman rogues#batman rouges gallery#batman x reader#gotham villains x reader#dc comics#jervis tetch imagine#fic series#jervis tetch gotham#jervis tetch#jervis tetch x reader#the mad hatter#the mad hatter dc#the mad hatter x reader
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Gotham Conservapedia Ridiculousness (Analysis of Homophobic Warnings 🤨) 🏳️🌈😂
I saw that there's a weird website with a page on conservative warnings/reviews thanks to @memesandmusicalss 's post
Spoilers for up to season 3 & non-explicit ones about how canon Ed x Oswald is):
Here's what I find especially hilarious(ly sad)/ironic about these "warnings":
•the author completely forgot/ignored that before Nygmobblepot, Barbara Kean was with Renee Montoya, even before she became a villain
•Since it's said that the show turned into a "homosexual propaganda" in season 3, Barbara and Tabitha were apparently never an item either, or their very sensual kissing doesn't count as propaganda. Maybe it's not gay if one occasionally has a boyfriend? 🤔
•Lucius and Ed's relationship, which is full of gay tension, is completely ignored too...or given a free pass because these two are too good together 😉
•Despite Barbara being described as bi & the author(s) thus knowing that sexuality exists, Ed is interpreted as only attracted to men while in the show he's clearly been attracted to women: conservatiness made him gayer! 🤣🏳️🌈
•The show never explicitly said he was attracted to men either, but it seems the author's on our side, fellow Ed x men shippers 🥳🤗. Something homophobes are actually good for: agreeing with us that the queerbaited, never explicitly queer characters are in fact queer. 🥳🤝
•Nygmobblepot is seen as propaganda when the actual show criticized their relationship so much & made them hate/dislike each other nearly all the time. But of course for them, the bad part isn't the possessiveness or jealousy, it's the gayness *shaking my head*
•There's no praise of Ed being the perfect house wife! As if they don't see him as a role model (for women) 🙃😂
#conservapedia#gotham humour#nygmobblepot humour#barbara kean x renee montoya#babitha#foxma#gotham#gotham tv#gotham 2014#nygmobblepot#oswald cobblepot#barbara kean#bisexual edward nygma#edward nygma#tabitha galavan#humour#funny#anti homophobia#gotham queerbaiting#anti conservatives
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Personal thoughts and meditations upon the occasion of the Riverdale series finale.
Probably like four people are going to read this but I feel compelled to write it out anyway. This show has genuinely been a massive part of my life. I watched the first episode because some high school friends encouraged me to (IRONICALLY, BRO). I was in high school when I started this show. Those friends of course long ago fell away, unable to continue, unable to wacth anymore, but I have kept the faith. All seven seasons. Every. Single. Episode.
I’m not even entirely sure what captivated me so much about the show. I loved the atmosphere of season 1. I genuinely wanted to find out who killed Jason Blossom. Was genuinely fucked up by episode 1 x 12 and the first season finale.
I have such fond memories of watching the first season. I distinctly remember a road-trip I Tok with my friends the summer of 2017, and joking about maple syrup drug empires and the “weirdo” line back when that was the wildest scene on the show. Joking about how sick of the song ‘Believer’ by Imagine Dragons (2017) we were.
And then I decided to get involved in a fandom for the first time in a couple of years, and so I revived my old Tumblr, and I began Posting. And reading posts.
That was my last summer after high school and I was so nervous about college but this show and this fandom helped me get through it. My freshman year I lived in a dorm, and if you wanted to watch TV you had to go down to this common room, so every Thursday I would go down there like an hour ahead of time and occupy the place to make sure the remote was in my hands by 7 PM. A few times I failed, and I missed an episode because of it. But rarely!
I remember that slowly dawning feeling as season 2 progressed. Scrolling my Tumblr feed and slowly seeing people come to the realization: “wait…is it just me or does this show actually suck.” Was kind of frustrating at the time, realizing that the writers just like…were bad, but in retrospect? Beautiful. Incredible. Legendary.
And you could even say that’s where the fun really began. Yes, there’s plenty to hate, but also Riverdale is brilliant. The show of all time. For real. No other show has done it like Riverdale. They just haven't, and they never will. The age of the cable television teen drama is ending, and what a hell of a last hurrah Riverdale has been.
The Red Circle. Jingle Jangle. The Gargoyle King. Edgar Evernever and his fantastic rocket. Bret Weston Wallis and Donna Sweett (genuinely cannot say their names without giggling). Jughead getting hit in the head with a rock and faking his death for like…some reason? I genuinely can’t remember, something to do with the Hardy Brothers idk. Tabitha sprinkling the devil with the tears of the Virgin Mary. The normies can laugh all they want about “epic highs and lows” but do they remember the even funnier lines like “if there’s no wedding, that means the gargoyle king has won” or “word of my exploits serving Nick his comeuppance…” THEY NEVER WILL. ONLY THE TRUE FAITHFUL UNDERSTAND.
And is silly as it all was, I have genuine affection for these characters. Like Betty, Veronica, Jughead, Archie, Cheryl, Toni, actually mean a lot to me. YES they’re fake but I want the best for them (and for Beronica to be canon but you know we can’t win them all). I’m genuinely grateful that this show has existed and been a part of my life for the past six years.
Moreover, I credit this show for seriously getting into writing. I’ve actually written almost a million words of Riverdale fanfiction. Much of it will never see the light of day, but it exists. Maybe I even have one or two left in me, I don’t know. At the very least I’d like to finish a few uncompleted fics. But I’ve also branched out. Since I started seriously writing in 2017, I’ve also finished several original manuscripts, and who knows, maybe one day I’ll get one published. Stranger things have happened.
So, thanks Roberto.
And thanks to all of the very cool people I’ve run into in this fandom. I honestly wish I’d gotten to know most of you better, but them’s the breaks. Hopefully this isn’t weird but I’m going to tag a few people in particular.
@village-skeptic. I know you’re not in the fandom anymore (lucky you), but thank you for, once upon a time, reading every one of the 200,000+ words of a 17-year-old kid’s turgid, indulgent, Riverdale Spanish Civil War fan fiction. I never, ever would have finished that story without you, and I credit it with giving me the confidence to keep writing, and in fact to write everything I’ve written since then. You’re brilliant and awesome.
@satelliteinasupernova. Thank you for also reading Interbellum (are we noticing a pattern), and more importantly for all of your wonderful drawings. INCLUDING fanart of some of my fics. You have no idea how happy that Strange Death of Elizabeth Cooper piece made me. You rule.
@sullypants. You were a perennial presence on my feed. Always wonderful to see. I love your taste in art, and I love those ‘penguin classics’ covers you made for a few of my fics. Thank you also for beta reading a few fics for me back in the glory days. And thank you for chatting with me a couple times over the years, including a few times when I was in quite unhappy places.
@stillhidden. I’m not sure if we’ve ever actually talked, but you like or reblog everything I post and it makes me feel like I’m not just shouting into the void. Same goes for @frauleinfunf Thank God for dutiful mutuals.
@sonyascomet. I can’t remember when I started following you but you have a really good sense of humor. And I’ll always remember when you kept posting about “Greg” for Succession and I, not knowing anything about Succession, kept imagining Greg Heffley.
@stillhidden thank you for your world-weary Riverdale posts. You truly understand fandom like few others.
@halcooper. Your devotion to the neglected parents of Riverdale is truly admirable. Every time I see Lochlyn Munro in some weird low budget horror movie I’ll think of you.
I hope I didn’t forget anyone who would be offended by my forgetting, but I doubt it.
All this to say this show has been a genuinely huge part of my life for six years. SIX YEARS. I graduated college, my God. I wish I could say I became a millionaire or a successful author in that time, but nah. Maybe one day, but for now I’m just kind of vibing. And unfortunately, I’ll have to vibe without Riverdale from now on.
But as I sit myself down to watch the very last episode of this show, I remind myself that we’ll always have the memories. And I’ll always be an unapologetic Riverdale enjoyer. As a great man once said, snakes don’t shed their skins so easily.
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The Secret of the Greenhouse
A little non canon compliant Tabitha fic for Scarlet Hollow.
Tabitha loathes taking care of the…thing in the greenhouse. But with Pearlanne gone she's the only one left to do it.
(Please note: I wrote this before Episode 4 came out and based it on my thoughts on the Goop Teddy fan theory at the time. Now we know what's actually in the greenhouse, so this very much doesn't follow canon. But after @georgiedoesntfloat asked me about my SH fic ideas I couldn't get this one out of my head because I liked the vibes. So here it is, and it's all thanks to Georgie!)
Tabitha wasn’t one to believe something unless she saw it herself. She lived in a world of what was concrete and right in front of her. Yet what was in front of her tested her mightily. It shouldn’t exist, but somehow it did. Now that Pearlanne was gone, it was up to her to deal with this…thing.
Pearlanne told Tabitha about it less than a year ago. Apparently it used to be Teddy Scarlet, who was said to have died in the mine collapse in 1918. For all she knew that was a lie. But she learned long ago to keep such thoughts to herself. Pearlanne had been insistent that she learn how to ‘care’ for it. As if it were some kind of horrible pet.
Ever the dutiful daughter, she listened to what her mother had to say. Though Tabitha was sure Pearlanne left out quite a bit. There were too many missing pieces to the story she was given. Now she would never know the rest. Her mother was dead, and she knew not to trust what it had to say.
You can find the rest here on Ao3!
#poor Tabitha and her Eldest Daughter Syndrome despite being an only child#not canon compliant#Goop Teddy fan theory#angst#but like is it possible to write anything Tabitha-centric and it not be angsty?#omg I noticed just as I added the link that both this and “Fog” are 411 words! what are the chances of that?!#editing this today showed me I'm a better writer and editor than I was in November when I first wrote it#shocking that I posted two fics in less than a month!#scarlet hollow#tabitha scarlet#fanfic#excerpt from my writing#ao3#of course my brain decided that I hated a tiny part of this hours after I posting so I came back to edit it so my brain will stfu about it#literally taking out three words and adding in three different words was all it took - brains are fucking weird man
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How Deep My Love Goes, Chapter 12
Read on AO3 Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10 Ch 11
Fic Summary: A Kenrava-focused fix-it alongside canon 💗
Chapter Summary: SEASON 2 ERA! Roman makes his decision. Kendall and Stewy kick off the business media frenzy around the hostile takeover. Kendall works on saving Vaulter against all odds. Rava and Kendall take a trip to her parents’ house. Featuring Kendall in glasses!
New Year's Day
In here, it’s surreal.
Kendall looks over at his suit jacket flung over the armchair, Brioni pants wrinkled on the floor. He sees Rava’s messy hair draped over her peaceful face, lipstick smeared the way he wanted it. A pile of blue silk is by the door because it wasn’t staying on past the click of the lock. A news broadcast comes over the radio and he turns it off. He doesn’t need to hear it- there’s no news bigger than what he did yesterday.
Outside, Logan’s calling him a druggie. Shiv’s rolling her eyes as “insane,” “unhinged,” spill out of her lips and Tom nods at everything he hears. Outside, Roman’s pacing nervously, Tabitha’s pouring Bailey’s in her coffee and watching him decide his future. Greg’s looking around, plotting, deciding nothing and waiting for the next possibility to walk in. Marcia’s shaking her head, Connor’s condemning his little brother for the loss of family harmony that wasn’t really there. Outside, they’re waiting.
But in here, Kendall is a king. It’s New Year’s Day and no one can touch him. His birthright is coming. He’s never loved the sunrise so much.
The door knocker thunks on the heavy wooden door and Kendall gets up to answer it because kings don’t hide. Roman’s right there when he pulls it partially open like Austerlitz deja vu.
“So, I kind of have to talk to you,” Roman starts.
Kendall glances back at Rava, still asleep, and steps outside the door, closing it quietly behind him and turning to look skeptically at his brother. He’s feeling generous enough to give him a chance to explain what happened.
“Uh, yeah, I guess you do have to talk to me. Where were you last night?” Kendall asks. Roman’s reluctant and rubs the back of his head.
“I was talking to Dad, okay?”
Kendall smiles into the scoff, like he knew it.
“Right. Okay. Yeah, you know what, bro, not everyone’s cut out for this. So don’t worry about it. I’m sure Dad will find a nice little cage for you at the studio again.”
Roman rolls his eyes and tries not to take the bait.
“Maybe I can tell you some shit you didn’t already know, can you consider that?” Kendall stays quiet against his instinct and Roman sighs. “Look. I don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility that you will crash and burn, because, I mean-“ he gestures at Kendall. “-you’re you.”
“That’s not going to happen. Do you have a point?” Kendall replies evenly. It won’t take much to tip things into being overwhelming and he wants to focus on the good parts of this day.
“Fucking- obviously,” Roman says, irritated. He continues slowly. “How would you feel about me, maybe, giving you some information- when I deem it’s good for me- and maybe just generally not totally fucking you?”
“Wow. That’s a really great deal for nobody,” Kendall says. “I told you before, Dad’s going to do nothing for you like he did nothing for me. Dude, I had an actual job at Waystar and he did what he did. I mean, what- what do you think he’s going to do to you?”
“I don’t fucking know, Ken, but I don’t want to kill him like you do.”
He feels the barb’s intended pain and really wishes Roman wouldn’t think that.
“What- how do you not understand how much I didn’t want to do this?” he asks incredulously. He shakes his head and tries to connect in a more gentle, intense way, looking right into Roman’s eyes. “I didn’t. But it’s happening. And I am taking over. Dad’s time is ending. You can still hop on the lifeboat. Heading to dry land, bro.”
“Well, maybe stop this attempt at poetry and listen to me. This can help you. Look, I planned the vote with you, I actually- puke- agree with certain parts of your vision-“
“Because my vision is fucking good-“ Kendall interjects.
“-And buying stations to indoctrinate some local tinfoil hat fucks is not the- the- thing. But I am not risking my life for a ‘lifeboat’ made of, like, popsicle sticks and your childhood dreams. So, take it or leave it. I might save you by telling you valuable shit.”
“Or you might try to sink me.”
“If you annoy me. Which is highly likely, I’m just being honest.”
Kendall rubs his forehead.
“Negotiating against yourself. Good luck out there. Well, I’m obviously not going to tell you anything. You’re asking to be a double agent. I don’t even- who does that? Honestly, I can get information from other sources.” Kendall remembers his talk with Greg last night, his bumbling blackmail that Kendall found both amusing and concerning. But he knows Greg’s loyalty will go to the highest bidder. If he buys it, it’s his. With Roman it’s more complicated.
Roman tries a new, genuine appeal.
“This…” Roman gestures between them, “this has been nice. Like, is there a way where it doesn’t have to be… you know?”
Kendall feels torn. It has been nice. He’d missed Roman when he’d been in LA, and they hardly see each other even when they’re both in New York.
“You know I wanted you on board,” Kendall says with disappointment. He remembers that it’s not only his choice. “I think you’re being wishy washy, but I’m pretty sure Stewy and Sandy will have stronger language than that to describe it.”
Roman raises his eyebrows and looks down and away. It makes Kendall feel achy and want to change his mind.
“Okay. Open offer.” Roman gives him an unreadable look before turning and walking toward the dining room for breakfast.
The slight bump of the wood when Kendall closes the door upon re-entering the bedroom makes Rava stir.
“Mmm. What are you doing? Come back.” She’s never liked that he gets up before her and he’s spent most weekend mornings of his adult life as a pillow for an extra hour or two. It’s always been his time to secretly send Saturday and Sunday work emails, but he doesn’t think he can even pretend to want to lie down now. He’s vibrating with energy, conflict, worries, excitement. He goes to sit on the bed and brushes her hair off her face. She softly holds his hand with both of hers and he smiles at how sweet she is when she’s still half-asleep.
“You want to get breakfast?” he asks quietly. “Come with me. Not here, we’ll go somewhere.”
“Mmhmm.” She opens her eyes and squints at him. “Okay. Are the kids up?”
“I don’t know, I just got up myself.”
“Okay.” She sits up with the sheet loose around her and he suddenly needs to be close and scoops her toward him for a comforting hug. It’s going to be okay. She’s still sleepy and melts into him easily for a minute as he breathes in her scent. She rolls out of bed and he admires her bare skin as she walks around looking for the robe she’d brought. “Where is that robe..?” she asks.
“I’m not telling you,” he replies, eyes not leaving her body.
“Okay. Great, thank you,” she smiles sarcastically and nods along before spotting the robe and wrapping it around herself.
After throwing on a pair of dark jeans and a beige sweater and looking effortlessly chic, Rava goes into the kids’ room and Kendall gets ready to sneak past the sure-to-be-awkward breakfast to find something in town before flying home.
……
The kids sleep in a back bedroom of the jet while Rava dozes with her head on Kendall’s shoulder. Jet lag, post-wedding exhaustion, and hangovers are winning this day for everyone else. Kendall puts his arm around her and silently practices his talking points for the news appearances he and Stewy will be flooded with once they’re back in the city. Stewy smirks at his phone as he texts and sips coffee with his soft leather loafers up on a footstool and blankets draped over him on his reclined seat. Roman had declared that he was going with Tabitha on Logan’s jet because Dad said so, so it’s just the three of them. Stewy looks up and nods at Kendall’s notecards.
“You ready?” Stewy whispers to Kendall. “PGN first.” Kendall nods seriously. “So what’s up with your brother?” Stewy inquires, keeping his voice down. “He pass out in a bathroom with his dick in his hand?”
“Uh, he went to talk to Dad. He came to me this morning and offered to inform on him, but obviously he’s just doing Dad’s bidding now,” Kendall reports a little emotionlessly.
Stewy’s eyes widen and he tilts his head with a slight look of disbelief.
“He got stuck, huh? Cool, Sandy’s gonna love that. It’ll look great for me that I vouched for him. Fucker.”
“Yeah. I know. I told him we’re not gonna talk to him.”
Stewy considers and crosses his legs, taking a bite of the croissant on the table next to him.
“You know what? Tell him we’ll take his information.”
Kendall perks up a bit.
“…yeah?”
Kendall picks up his phone, glad that someone else also thinks it’s a good plan to stay in touch.
“Yeah. But Ken,” Stewy says in his relaxed warning tone. “Don’t tell him anything."
“I won’t.”
After a nap and more quiet prep on the long flight back to New York, Kendall and Stewy meet back up at the entrance to PGN. The weather is getting quite chilly now but they don’t even notice as they go inside. They walk together onto the news floor when the elevator doors open, both in dark suits and feeling exactly as psyched as they’d always imagined they would be.
“Fucking… PGN. Hope they let me out alive,” Kendall chuckles. It’s not even close to his first time on TV, but it’s his first time doing it purely for his own business interests, and it’s certainly his first time on the rival network. He feels a bit untethered. Unleashed.
“Don’t worry. It’s the perfect first stop. We’ll be taken care of,” Stewy says knowingly as they make it into the labyrinth of a studio.
They approach the cameras via a long, dark hallway. The doorway shines blindingly bright light down the center. He fidgets with his notecards as they forge ahead in the weird spotlight.
The light is overwhelming all around them once they get inside. The makeup artists swarm and suddenly powder puffs and combs and chatter surround them both as they sit down in director’s chairs. A stylish and nervous-looking thirty-something PGN producer scurries over and tucks her light brown hair behind her ear as she smiles at Stewy. His eyes are instantly glued to hers. He gives her a serene smile back and Kendall can see her blush a bit.
“Stewy, I’m so glad you’re here,” she says sweetly. “I mean, we all are.” She extends her hand to Kendall. “You’re Kendall! Hi, I’m Lena,” she introduces herself, only briefly taking her eyes off Stewy’s face.
“Hey, yeah. Nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
“Ken, Lena’s here to make you seem like you know almost as much as me,” Stewy says smoothly. Lena giggles and Stewy twinkles at her. “She’s brilliant. Taught me everything I know about looking incredible on TV.”
Lena looks pleased and flustered for a second as she reaches back to check the claw clip in her hair.
“Oh, well, you’re a natural.” She gives him a pretty smile and gazes at him again for a second too long before forcing her attention back to the task at hand. “Um, so, I have some talking points for you both from your PR team.” She pulls some printed sheets from her tote bag and hands them to Kendall and Stewy. “Normally we wouldn’t do this, but, you know.” She drops her eyes after such a clear flirty moment. “I’ll let you go over them, and I’ll be right over here if you have any questions. About filming,” she clarifies. “I can’t answer questions about your PR. Obviously,” she laughs a little breathlessly. She turns to walk away and almost trips over a cable before going to stand with the other members of her team on the other side of the room and gazing over not-so-subtly.
Stewy watches her go as his eyes wander from the floor to her hair. Kendall looks over at him.
“Okay. Had to hit PGN first,” he smirks.
“You and your precious optics know this is where we have to start.” Stewy smiles a little. “But, yeah, it helps to have a supportive environment.”
“Uh-huh.” Kendall smiles and feels a pang of missing Rava.
“Anka was too freaked out by everything, you know? Who throws sex parties with severe anxiety issues? Lena’s… you know.”
“Yeah. Very chill,” Kendall deadpans. “She might have a heart attack if she overhears this conversation.”
“She’s like that every time she talks to me. It’s funny. She takes five minutes to type a sentence in a text,” Stewy shrugs. Kendall decides not to point out that Stewy could only know that if he watches the three dots for five minutes.
“Basket cases are your thing,” Kendall chuckles.
“That’s true, Ken, I do like spending time with disastrous people,” Stewy smiles pointedly. “It emphasizes to others how together I am.”
Kendall nods, playing along. It is a little nerve-wracking to think about the high expectations that everyone watching will have of him. Right now, maybe twenty people know what’s going on. In five minutes, it’ll be millions.
“Right. Hang on a second.” Kendall gets up and pulls his phone out of his pocket. He dials Rava and is glad to hear her voice.
“Hey! How’s the interview prep?” she asks.
“Hey. Good,” he confirms. “We’re about to go on. You watching?”
“Of course,” she replies. She’s a little apprehensive about the whole thing. Logan isn’t nice when he’s threatened.
“Good. Good. Hey, tonight can we just do takeout and hideout?”
“Yes. That sounds so good.” She pauses and he's quiet. “You okay? Worried about this?” She’s always advised him to think about the incoming peacefulness after the big event to calm jitters.
“Uh, kind of,” he admits. “I dunno. It’s great but it’s also, like… this makes it real.”
“There you go,” Rava smiles. “It is real.”
“Yeah. Fuck.”
A man wearing a headset pops his head into the side room.
“Two minutes!” he says.
“Thank you,” Kendall answers. “Okay, time to go. Time to make it fuckin’ happen.”
“Good luck!”
Kendall puts his phone in his pocket, walks back into the space and sits down next to Stewy at the desk set. The lights go down around the set and they look at each other in a moment of pure exhilaration. Memories flash through their minds of being seventeen and sneaking liquor in the Roys’ sprawling gardens while discussing their plans to take over the world.
A voice comes from the dark and everyone else goes quiet. Kendall closes his eyes for a second.
“Okay, we’re live in three, two….”
The on-air light lights up.
It’s a new world.
“I’m here with Kendall Roy, former Waystar Royco executive and son of current CEO Logan Roy, and Stewy Hosseini, partner at Maesbury Capital,” the reporter begins. “Kendall, we’ll start with you. You must feel strongly about this to go up against your father this way. What made you do it?”
Kendall focuses every bit of his energy on his response, breathes in, and lets the words he’s been repeating in his mind free.
“My father is a brilliant businessman. A true legend. And what he’s built here is unlike any other corporation in the world. His legacy can never be tarnished. In fact, one of the reasons Stewy and I decided to do this is to preserve it. The old ways of doing things are not viable in today’s world, and I can’t allow the firm to stay still when there’s a race all around it. I have always been of the mind that we need to move forward in order to shepherd Waystar Royco into the new era. I believe our focus on moving more deeply into the tech sector is critical to the success of the company moving forward and I am confident that I am the right person to lead us into the future as CEO.”
“Thank you. It must be an exciting moment for you. But how are things between you and your father?” she asks, clearly even more interested in this answer.
Kendall smiles, but it flickers. He knows this is the part everyone is listening to most closely.
“Uh, you know.” He keeps smiling uneasily into it. “They’re- we’re good. This is just the way things are, business-wise.”
“Great. And Stewy-“
Kendall practically blacks out in his mind while Stewy gets into the financial details. They’re really doing it.
About an hour and a half later, Kendall walks into the apartment and breathes it in for a moment. He’s back and it’s all under way. He walks down the hall toward the family room and Rava, who beckons him over to the couch.
He opens his arms and smiles for a minute on the other side of the room.
“How fucking amazing is this?” he says.
“It actually is,” she says honestly. She can’t believe he’s finally taken a bold step against Logan.
They’re both feeling exhausted after a weekend full of exertion, and he flops down on the couch next to her and nuzzles into her neck for a minute. She smells like fresh conditioner and light perfume.
“What a day you’ve had,” she smiles as he lets himself fall into her lap and she runs her fingers through his hair.
“Yeah. Can’t believe it.” He means it. Things have begun to feel vividly real. His phone buzzes and he pulls it from his pocket and takes a look.
“Text from Roman,” he says. “They’re all at the Hamptons house.” He pauses and feels a bit left out even though he knows it would make no sense for him to be there right now. Before he can say anything else, his phone vibrates again and he almost laughs out loud at the next message.
“Shiv?! Rav, Dad’s having individual meetings and he just called in Shiv. For what? Political advice? Is Roman making this shit up? She said she’s with Gil. She changed her mind already? Well, she’s already fucked herself if she’s going back and forth, politics to business. Dad won’t go for that, right?”
He sits up and stares at his phone.
“Well, you don’t know what he’s thinking. Trying to read his mind isn’t going to work here,” Rava says. “Don’t drive yourself crazy. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
He sighs quietly to himself and realizes that Dad actually is picking a new him this time. It’s just what he’d previously feared with Roman, only now it’s worse. It's Shiv, who is so inexperienced that she might believe Dad would pick someone with no experience. It doesn’t matter, he reminds himself, because he’s going to claim his rightful place. There is no new him.
But he pictures Shiv in Dad’s Summer Palace office all the same.
He stews over the image for a few minutes. He feels jealous and protective of his little sister at once and struggles to remember to focus his energy on his own plans. A few minutes after Rava goes to have a snack, his phone rings. His skin prickles and his heart races when he sees Dad on his screen. He looks around a bit wildly at first, wondering where Rava is and realizing there’s not enough time. Instinct takes over and he answers it.
“Dad?” he manages.
“Kendall.” Logan’s voice is calm and almost eerily pleasant. “How is it out there in the cold?”
“It’s-“ he tries to speak. “You-you know, Dad, I didn’t want to do what I did- I-“
“I’ve been getting a lot of advice,” Logan starts smoothly, slowly. “Laird… Shiv… anyone with the stones to try to stand up to me tells me I should sell.”
The confusion is clouding Kendall’s previously sharpened mind.
“Uh-huh?”
“I was wondering- what do you think?”
Kendall thinks he can hear electricity crackle.
“Uh- what- what do you mean-“
“Well, you’ve been inside for a while. What do you think I should do?” The mind games are overwhelming.
“W- what is this, a joke? I don’t- Dad, we shouldn’t even be talking-“
“Enough. It was a good move. Now it’s time to come back in.” Kendall can barely believe what he’s hearing.
“What- so you can keep things exactly the same and never do what you promised?” He shakes his head. “No.”
“Oh, cut your self-righteous shit,” Logan thunders. Kendall is intimidated into silence. “We’re gonna fight this. And I want you by my side. The deal is, if you can stop Sandy and Stewy, then I will make you the next chief executive of the firm, like we planned. You’re the one, son.”
Shock reverberates through Kendall’s body. He struggles to collect his thoughts, to breathe properly. When was his last breath? Has it been too long? He suddenly inhales and tries to summon his own words to Roman earlier this morning.
“It- it wasn’t true when you said it before. For eighteen months. For fucking- thirty-two years, you said it, and you took it back.”
“You made a mistake, Ken. With Vaulter. This is my company. I have the right.” Kendall thinks he should argue, then decides against it. But he can’t help himself.
“Vaulter was a solid buy. But sure. You have the right. So why should I believe this?” Part of him is yearning against his will for a definite answer he knows Logan would never give.
“Because now, we’ve got eyes on us. The news fucks, the shareholders. Thanks to you,” Logan grumbles. “Thing is, you know both sides, you have the years." Well, no fucking kidding, Kendall thinks. “This is rare. But you have leverage. Let’s get back to work,” Logan says. Kendall can practically feel the steamrolling and tries to keep himself upright.
He realizes his dad may not trust Roman. Roman knows what was going on with Kendall’s side too, but Logan wants to hear it from Kendall. His head is swirling with thoughts. Is he on speaker? Is everyone listening and waiting to laugh if he says yes? He knows it’s stronger to end the call right now. But… the office. The chair. The respect, the head of the boardroom. The authority, the job, the usefulness. The fulfillment. He nervously grabs the edge of the couch cushion he’s sitting on.
He’s dying to say yes. But even in the face of all the temptation, he knows it could only end in humiliation if he went back. His dad would think of all kinds of ways to make him pay, all kinds of tests, a round of boar on the floor where he’s the only one begging for scraps. Rava’s disappointment, Stewy’s disdain... he can’t do it.
“Dad- I- I really wish I could trust you. I mean, you know I… I just- I can’t.”
Logan’s anger is almost as scary on the phone as it is in person.
“But you can trust Sandy, enemy of this family your whole life? And Stewy, who wouldn’t even go against me in your little board vote? But not me. Not the one who’s given you everything you’ve ever had. Is that right?”
Kendall’s heart is pounding. It’s terrifying, but he’s steeling himself.
“Yes, Dad. I wanted to believe you. But after everything the last couple of months, I can’t.” He takes a deep breath. “This is on my terms now.”
Logan’s voice turns violent. “I’ll grind you into dust. You’ll be nothing. You’ll finally realize it.”
Kendall tries to keep the words out, but they crash around him in waves for a terrible moment. He remembers every late night spent working, the entire year in Shanghai spent doing everything he could to make long-distance work with Rava, the times defending his kids from Logan’s derision, all to be treated like this. He feels the habitual need to remind himself of the good moments too, but hearing what his dad just said makes him stop himself. The fury, the threats, the derogatory comments about his recovery, his family, his strategies. His whole being. He leaves his body for a moment to say it.
“You’re a fuckin’ beast.”
Kendall hangs up and drops his phone onto the couch cushion. His hands are shaking and he knows his voice probably was, too. He nervously walks into the kitchen to find Rava and she tilts her head in a question when she sees him.
“Dad called,” he breathes. “He’s going to fight. But so are we.”
……
That night, they lie in bed in the dark. Blackout curtains have made it velvety dark in their room. They don’t always use the blackouts, but Kendall pressed the button to close them tonight. Rava looks expectantly at the spot she can feel him lying, wondering why he's so far. She reaches her arm out and feels for his head, lightly patting its crown.
“Hey,” she says softly. “What’s going on in here?”
She can hear him open his mouth and exhale.
“Do you think- this is dumb, but, do you think he even likes me? Like, as a person?” He pauses and hesitantly adds, “I don’t think he does.”
“Oh… Ken, of course he does.” She doesn’t know if Logan is capable of liking anyone, but he’s always been pretty obsessed with his son.
“No, I mean, well, thank you for- for saying that but like, really? If someone asked him what my good qualities were, what would he even say?”
“You have so many. You’re kind, you’re creative, you get inspired all the time-“
“But-” he shakes his head in a bit of embarrassment at this incredibly vulnerable moment. He’s glad it’s dark. “But he doesn’t like any of those things.”
“He never leaves you alone,” she says. “Just today, even when, from his perspective, you’ve been trying to destroy him for the last couple of months.”
“That’s not-“
“I know. But from his perspective,” she continues. “He tries to keep you leashed to him all the time. He always has.”
“But that’s like… sick,” Kendall replies uncertainly. “Yeah? That’s weird. People have told me that’s weird.”
They’ve talked about this before, but it’s been a few years. She remembers this kind of talk with less fondness than many of their other conversations.
“Yes. It’s weird. I mean, he isn’t normal or healthy. Obviously,” she lets out a mirthless chuckle. “But as much as he is capable of liking someone, I think he likes you.” Kendall is quiet, which is what he does when he sort of disagrees but doesn’t know how to argue. “He must like that you tend see the future in business.”
“I’m not sure that’s true.” Kendall wrings his hands at the thought of Vaulter being in his father’s power.
“It is! When have you ever been wrong about what direction to go in?” He’s quiet again, this time because there’s no counterargument. “You can’t argue that he likes that you have a sense of things!”
He can’t cheer for himself.
“I have a feeling he likes that quality more in other people than he likes it in me.” He lies there thinking of the people who don’t like him. The Canadians, the Vaulter staff, the art people… Roman? Shiv? He doesn’t say anything else but Rava can feel it.
The depth of his insecurity shouldn’t surprise her anymore, but it breaks her heart a little when it becomes so clear. She moves closer to him and lays her hand on his chest. She wants to tell him the validation from his father doesn’t matter, but she thinks when she’s said something for nearly two decades and it hasn’t sunk in, it might be time to give him what he wants instead of what he needs. Tonight, she can tell him a good truth instead of a hard one.
“You know he sees you as competition. Who else does he ever go toe-to-toe with? Hmm? And there is nothing your dad likes more than a completely insane business competition.”
She feels the vibration of a smile from him.
“Well, I can’t argue with that.”
“Yeah!” She says more cheerfully, grateful that her point landed. “You give him what he really wants. I actually think you might be the one person who doesn’t bore him.”
He considers that.
“I just… feel… this is going to ensure that he’ll never really trust me again. Like, I used to be his go-to. For everything.” Remembering the good moments he'd held off before makes him want to call Logan and tell him he wants to come back.
“I know," Rava says. "Don't forget what he did though-“ she uses a softer tone- “the takeover wasn’t the thing that changed his mind. He made the decision when he took back the announcement. And he did fire you. All i'm saying is you're not losing a close relationship right now. At the very least, you know he respects this."
He says nothing while he thinks over all of her ideas. He hears how negative he’s being and brings up something positive so she won’t think he’s a wet blanket.
“I guess… it’s true, he’s never accused me of boring him.”
“See? There you go. Come here.” She reaches for him and he rolls into her arms. She's glad it’s over and that she’s partially scrubbed the negative thoughts from his head for the night. His forehead rests on her shoulder as he wonders whether he should try to say what the even deeper problem is.
“It’s kind of fucking… hollow even if we win, though. If he never gives it to me, you know… if he never thought I could do it.”
His words float in the darkness for a moment.
“It would still be achieving what you’ve always wanted.”
“Well. You know, there were kind of two parts to what I wanted.”
“Yeah,” she says a little sadly.
“I- I know you think it shouldn’t matter,” he says hesitantly.
“I just wish it didn’t matter,” Rava says. They go quiet as she drapes her arm over him.
He’s had parts of this conversation with her and others over the years, with varying degrees of empathy reflected back. But this part has always been where no one could come with him, where no one hears him, no one understands.
…….
A few days later, Roman saunters up behind Kendall and Rava as they walk through the amusement park keeping an eye on Sophie and her friends at her birthday party.
“I’m here as a spy, in case you were wondering,” Roman announces. “Just here to check out whether Dad has anything to worry about. Obviously he doesn’t with this fucker in charge!” he adds loudly.
Rava shoots him a look.
“Dude,” Kendall sighs. The kids are here.
“Can we talk about what Sandy’s thinking the next steps are?” Roman asks impatiently.
“I’m here to enjoy my daughter’s birthday party. We’ll talk later.” Kendall glances at Rava for her approval. She’s glad to hear it even though she knows his head is full of strategy.
Sophie runs over and flings her arms around Kendall’s waist. He squeezes her and meets her eyes as she looks up at him.
“Can we make the wagon go faster?” she asks him. Kendall looks at the ride attendant as he adjusts his scarf. It’s getting colder outside.
“Is that possible?” he inquires. Rava leans in to talk to the attendant.
“No, no.” She looks at Sophie. “Honey, let’s stay safe, okay? We’re going to keep all the rides at their normal speeds.”
Sophie pouts for a moment and runs back to her friends. Rava follows to keep an eye on things and Roman smirks at Kendall.
“So, it must be fun to have no authority at home, no authority at work, you’re killin’ it!”
“You don’t understand responsibility,” Kendall replies dully.
“Nope, never been for me. I do understand having a personality though, which you have clearly lost!” He points at his brother for emphasis and is disappointed by his lack of reaction. “Hey, do you think Sophie thinks it’s weird that her grandpa isn’t at her birthday party?”
“Why, because he’s been so involved in his grandchildren’s lives before this?” Kendall almost smiles.
Roman snickers a little regretfully and they share a moment of dry humor.
“You know Shiv and Tom are here, keeping their distance.” Roman jerks his head behind him and to the left. Kendall looks alarmed.
“Uh, what? No. Is that- I mean, is she cool right now? What’s the deal with her and Dad?”
“I don’t fucking know, Tom’s here to be a freak and look at what he doesn’t have to deal with anymore because Firecrotch got him promoted to run the most important branch of the company,” Roman scoffs. Kendall glances back and calms down. They can’t do anything here.
“Well- I mean, it’s not really surprising that Tom’s at ATN now. Like… that figures.”
Roman’s eyes dance.
“Because he understands our ‘agricultural viewers?’” he says mockingly.
“Because he might actually believe some of that shit.”
“I believe that shit,” Roman says sardonically.
“You shouldn’t tell people that,” Kendall shoots back.
They are both glad for Connor’s interruption.
“Hey, hey! It's the traitor son," he says sarcastically. Roman snickers and Kendall grimaces. "Kenny, I got Sophie a few books I think she’d like to read. Counteract some of that propaganda they’re teaching her at Chapin.”
“Uh-huh. Okay, thanks Con,” Kendall says, letting it go. Roman jumps in.
“Do you think, maybe, you’re seen as susceptible to conspiracies because people see a weirdo living in the desert-“
“Oh, Romey, I love when you express your love for me,” Connor ruffles Roman’s hair and Roman makes a face as Connor walks away. Kendall stares over at Shiv and Tom, now joined by Greg.
“So… Greg talked to me at the wedding,” he starts slowly to gauge Roman’s reaction. He takes a deep breath. “I think he’s got something on Waystar.”
“What? For real? Like what?”
“I dunno- something with cruises. Maybe wolf pack stuff?”
A pained look crosses Roman’s face and he smooths his button-down under his coat.
“He doesn’t know shit.”
“I- I think he does, actually. He might have paperwork. I’m just saying, keep an eye on him, okay?” Kendall suggests.
“Blech. I don’t want to look at him. But fine.” Roman and Kendall both pause to watch Greg from afar.
“Uh, hey, can we be real for a second? Like, just sibs for a sec?” Kendall starts.
“That’s gonna be a no, but you’re going to say whatever overthought nonsense you have anyway.”
“Would you work at Waystar if not for Dad?” Kendall asks.
“Actually, I’d be the most highly-paid gigolo in the country and would laugh at your paltry c-suite millions. Or, like, your mailroom paychecks, which is much more accurately where you’d be without Dad.”
Kendall sighs.
“So, no,” Kendall prompts.
“No. What? I don’t know. Maybe. Who gives a shit? Who’s asking?”
“Me, dude. Relax. It’s not a trick.”
“So, what, you would work here without Dad?” Roman asks defensively.
“Honestly, yeah,” Kendall answers. “I think I’m good at it.”
“I think that’s up for debate.“
“Well, it’s not.” Kendall wishes he could ask Roman if Logan has ever mentioned his abilities, but he knows it would result in mockery instead of actual information. He drops the subject, but he knows Roman gets what it’s like to want Dad’s love and respect- Roman is even willing to spend his time doing a job he doesn’t care about in order to try to gain it- and that knowledge lightens the weight on his shoulders a bit.
…….
Kendall’s phone beeps and interrupts his call with Stewy. He checks and it’s Roman’s name.
“The fucking- informant is calling again,” he almost chuckles.
“Be careful, Ken,” Stewy warns before ending the call.
Kendall switches to the new call and hears that Roman’s voice is hushed and tense.
“Ken, Dad is deciding what to do about Vaulter right now.” He nervously paces around the hallway by the waiting area outside Logan’s office.
“What- what do you mean, like he might kill it?”
“He’s torturing me with questions about you and Sandy and Stewy.”
“Okay. Well, I’m sorry to hear that, but no one made you go back to him… what- what about Vaulter?”
“He doesn’t fucking like it but he could save it?” He brushes his hand along the back of the leather couch and then waves his arm around with his next sentence. “I don’t fucking know, you’re the one who threw all our pretty, pretty money at something for Dad’s approval-“
“Vaulter was a solid business decision. And you don’t care about Dad’s approval? Secretly calling me. Taking his shit. Okay.” He decides saving Vaulter is more important than making his point and refocuses. “Well, look, I think Dad is wrong, and Vaulter deserves a chance. I mean, yeah, Lawrence probably inflated their numbers, so, hire some accounting consultants, send them over, show your face. Be the hero.” He hates the idea of Roman looking like the savior for his company, but he hates the idea of losing it more.
“Or I could lay off two hundred people and triumphantly march back to my ivory tower. Maybe I could hire them to build me a new ivory tower. What’s minimum wage now, like 600K?”
“Or you should listen to me because I know the full situation and actually want to build something there.”
“Riiiight, you’re so selfless and altruistic. So inspiring,” Roman says. “Seriously, 600K, can you imagine trying to live on that?” Kendall ignores him.
“Dude. This is for you, too. When you’re COO, you’ll be glad you have their content and their interface, their readers. Trust me on this.” Roman asked what to do, but he doesn’t always like getting what he wants. “So- does he want you to go in? See Lawrence?”
“Of course he does. Tomorrow at 11:00.”
“Are you-? Don’t make me look like an asshole, man. You can save this.” Kendall squirms at the thought of Roman in his territory, making disgusting jokes and talking shit about him.
“Don’t worry about me meeting with him, I’m much more charming and likable than you,” Roman says drily. Kendall rolls his eyes and wonders why Lawrence doesn’t like him. “Okay, back to being the only son Daddy loves!”
Roman hangs up and Kendall drums his fingers on the arm of the chair and gets up to find Rava.
“Hey,” he calls into the great room. “I think Dad might be doing something insane. He wants to shut down Vaulter, our only chance into the twenty-first century… eighteen years late, but, you know, it’s Dad.”
“Can you save it?” she asks as he enters the room and sits down.
“Uh, well. I don’t know. He’s got Roman on it tomorrow. He wouldn’t tell me if he’s going to destroy it. I worked on that acquisition for months!” He throws his hand up exasperatedly.
“Well, don’t just let him take it down then. Go with him and stop him!”
“Dad would never allow that, so-“
“You know, you don’t have to worry about what your dad would allow anymore.” He thinks for a second. “It’s going to be your company, isn’t it? Are you going to let the current CEO shutter a valuable asset that you’ll need when you take over? Would you let that happen with any other acquisition?”
He gives her a little smile.
“I missed this,” he says. “You’re always right.”
He goes to sit next to her and leans in to kiss her. Her hand brushes the back of his head and he puts his forehead on hers for a second, reconnecting after the energy given to everything else.
“How’s your day going?” he asks. “Has work improved much?”
She slumps into the couch and leans against him.
“Not really,” she answers drearily. “It’s all so shrouded in darkness. I can’t believe there are companies that operate like this.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know how you work in this world.”
He tries not to take the comment personally.
“Well… Waystar doesn’t do shit like steal wages and kidnapping or whatever.”
She raises her eyebrows and his voice gets a defensive tone.
“Not now. Not while I’ve worked there, Rav, you know that.”
“Yeah. I’m-“ she sighs. “Sorry- I don’t know. I feel bad failing at this. If this guy never comes home, it’s because I couldn’t find him. If there’s no justice for all these workers… I guess I just wish I were a better lawyer.”
Kendall never hears her express doubt in herself. It takes him a second to process and respond.
“Hey, that’s not fair to you. You’re going to figure this out. I’ll try whatever I can to help. And-“ he hesitates. “Would it be so bad to ask Robert?”
“Oh, so you don’t have to call your dad when you have a business problem, but I have to call my step-dad?” she gently mocks.
“Okay. I mean, sure, obviously I get it, but he probably knows someone.”
“From his Wall Street acquisition world? They wouldn’t know about this.”
“I dunno, maybe he knows someone who does.”
She shrugs.
“I’ll think about it.”
……
Lawrence looks worriedly at Kendall.
“It’s all for real, man,” Lawrence asserts. “You made a good decision buying us, I mean, from your perspective. I’ll do what it takes to keep it going.” He pauses. “What do you honestly think is going to happen here?”
“I’m of the opinion Dad can be persuaded he’s making a mistake,” Kendall says intensely. Roman looks at him warily. He’s not sure what the right answer is and Kendall can tell. “But you gotta work with me. Okay? Trust me.”
Lawrence nods like he knows it’s not up to him and Kendall walks up toward the front of balcony area of the Vaulter floor, overlooking all the people below, and begins his speech. Roman stands behind Kendall and zones out his words while he observes the expressions on all the workers’ faces. They’re not loving it but they also have no choice.
“Vaulter is the future of this company,” Kendall’s saying. Roman glances at Lawrence and he catches him. Roman gives an awkward nod and lets out a silent sigh. Kendall’s eyes flit to Roman for some support in the cold room. Roman makes a subtle face at him and Kendall gets back on track.
“If I fuck this up, I’m done forever,” he announces to the crowd. Roman fights the urge to cheer and get a laugh. He wonders how Kendall can possibly be so sincere saying such a dramatic sentence. Vaulter’s not the only game in town, Roman thinks. Another one would come along. Kendall’s winding it down now.
“Tough times. All pull together. Trust. Trust me. Any questions?” Roman can practically hear the crickets. Kendall steps down from the chair, a little shaken at the negative reception. Low chatter resumes in the room and Roman gives Kendall a sardonic smirk.
“Wow, they fucking love you here, you were definitely the right choice to make that speech. Then again, I’m still cool and they all hate you more than ever, so-“
“I’m saving their fucking jobs,” Kendall mutters. Roman giggles and walks away. Even if it’s the right thing, he doesn’t want to make it easy. “You understand that’s what this is, right?” Kendall calls after his brother. “I’m serious.” He catches up to Roman. “You want to strategize tonight? We have a lot of work to do. Obviously you’ll have to send me some shit so I can do it from home since I can’t be here normally. But-“
“I’m actually having a dinner party tonight that you’re not invited to, so-“
“What?”
Roman looks annoyingly satisfied at Kendall’s confusion.
“Yeah, Tabs and I are having Shiv and Tom to dinner.” Kendall feels a flash of envy and disappointment not to be included with Rava in a couples’ dinner party for his siblings.
“Uh, okay.” He tries to justify. “Well, you- you can’t be seen with me anyway, so.”
“You know Dad’s going to know you came here today and that we were seen together.” The justification dissolves and Kendall shrugs it off and tries to put a teflon wall around himself, allowing his eyes to get a little darker.
“Tell him I went rogue.”
……
Kendall squishes into his favorite armchair in the family room, glancing at the fireplace while he idly listens to Stewy complain over the phone.
“When were you going to consult with me on making a speech to all of Vaulter, Ken?” he asks, clearly annoyed. “How does that look? How am I supposed to explain this?”
“It’s going to look like I’m taking over this company and care what happens to it. It makes sense.”
“You standing with Roman the ‘loyal son’ and speaking from a joint perspective. That makes sense?”
“Yes. It does. I can’t trust Roman to take care of things. Dad leans toward killing it. If Roman feels the heat, he’ll fold. He’d fire them all tomorrow if he thought it would get him a pat on the head.”
Stewy sighs.
“This isn’t your favorite kind of, like, nice, pleasant acquisition where you have lunch and discuss your joint business dreams.” Stewy tries to sound authoritative but he smiles a little at the vast difference in how he and Kendall do business. “Not to sound like your dad,” he shudders, “but this is war. It cannot look like you might still be talking to him or your brother. No more of this.”
“You know we need Vaulter, Stew.”
“Figure it out without being buddy-buddy with the fucking enemy. I don’t want to be destroyed on CNBC tomorrow and I’m sick of being questioned by Sandy. You still need him, don’t forget that.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Kendall goes back to looking over the piles of Vaulter documents in front of him and slips on his glasses. He only wears them when it’s absolutely necessary, but Rava loves when she catches a glimpse. She steps into the doorway, head tilted and subtle smile on her face as she watches him focus. He looks up and takes the glasses off.
“Hi,” he says.
“Oh, you’re so cute in those, put them back on,” she says as she walks closer.
“No.”
“Well, you never know when you're cute.” He looks down and tries not to smile. “See, right now.” She steps between his chair and the desk, leaning back against it as she surveys him, and puts the glasses back on him. “Sexy econ professor," she laughs. "Tell me about the stock market.”
He laughs and shakes his head. She tucks her hair behind her ears and leans over him.
“How’s the New York Stock Exchange?” she whispers.
He looks down her open blouse.
“Uh, pretty hot. I'm the professor? Okay. I'll teach you. Waystar is actually doing better than I-”
“Ooh, I heard those Waystar guys are rich,” she purrs in his ear. He takes off the glasses again and puts them down.
“You heard right,” he says, completely straight-faced this time as he pulls her into his lap for a sexy kiss. “All the diamonds you want if you come to office hours.”
“And if I want time?” She smiles into his lips and swats in the direction of his laptop. He reaches over and closes it.
“Probably more than you want,” he chuckles.
“Good. Well, Mom and Robert are expecting us at 7:00, so… we should go in a few minutes. So much better than a stupid dinner party with your siblings all night,” she says in a light tone as she stands up, knowing the party is bothering him enough that he insisted they go to her parents’ house this very weekend. He nods, wondering again why Roman and Shiv don’t hang out with him more. He remembers Roman essentially saying he liked being close to him a few days ago and feels guilty for letting him dangle in that conversation while he was mad. He wonders if that’s the real reason he wasn’t invited.
“Yeah. Let me just-“
“Don’t make me explain to him why we’re late, come onnnn.” She pulls him up playfully and he extricates himself before putting his hands on her upper arms and looking into her eyes.
“I will be done in ten minutes,” he promises.
“Ha! Sure you will. Just remember this trip was your idea, so if we’re late, you are dealing with any and all fallout.”
“Okay. I could be almost done by now. I’ll be out in-“
“Ten minutes,” they say in unison. Rava smiles and walks out.
……..
When the heavy wooden door of the elegant stone Greenwich home swings open, Kendall is immediately enveloped in Rava’s mom’s arms, squished in with Rava and the kids behind them and feeling the stress being squeezed away. Years of memories flood back in in the best way, of his first happy Christmas with Rava’s family at age 23, the time a year later when Rava had run into the house ahead of him squealing to her mom about her new engagement ring, the first time they brought both kids to visit and swelled with pride. This house has been a sweet escape for Kendall his whole adult life. Every time Logan had hurt his pride or his self-esteem, he had found himself again with the other side of his family. He closes his eyes for a few moments, taking in the kindness and calm of the house he had missed for the last three years.
When Cheryl finally lets go, she puts her hand on Kendall’s face.
“Look at you. You’re still thirty. Men have it so easy,” she laughs with Rava and he shakes his head. She grabs him again and pats his back. “Ohhh, I missed you.” She looks at her daughter and grandchildren. “He’s such a good hugger. I almost forgot how cute he is.” Rava and Kendall smile.
“It’s true,” Rava agrees.
“Okay,” he laughs at the way he'd forgotten they compliment him like he isn't there. “Thank you, I missed you, too. I’m so glad to be back. Seriously, you have no idea.” Cheryl pats his hand and turns her attention to Sophie and Iverson.
“My babies! You’re getting so big,” she coos.
“Grandma!” Sophie excitedly jumps up and down and Iverson smiles.
“Come eat!” Cheryl beckons to the dining room and takes the kids’ hands as she leads them to the kitchen. Kendall and Rava head in to find Rava’s stepdad setting his glass at his place. Robert seems even taller than he usually does in his own home, authority and confidence emanating from him in a similar yet less menacing way as Logan.
“Sweetheart,” he says to Rava, coming over to kiss her cheek. “Good you’re here for the weekend.” He turns to Kendall. “Ken, son!” he booms. “Get over here.” Kendall's glad to hear that he's still considered family but his heart beats a little faster as he walks over for what feels like a bit of a test. “I hear you’ve got it all together these days,” Robert says, glancing down his nose as he commends and warns at once.
“That’s right,” Kendall affirms, a little tension creeping up as he worries he hasn’t been accepted back in. “Here to stay,” he adds, trying to sound confident. Robert lingers in eye contact for exactly two seconds before moving on.
“That’s what we like to hear!” He claps him on the back and Kendall breathes a sigh of relief. “Now let’s hear every detail of this fucking bear hug. It’s daring. I like that. Cheryl, do we have something besides scotch and wine in this house?”
“Oh, it’s fine-“ Kendall starts.
“Well, of course we do,” Cheryl rolls her eyes as she glides back in, already ready with Perrier and French grapefruit soda. The kids trail her and sit down at their places. She musses Robert’s hair as she passes him and sets the bottles in the middle of the table. “Divina made the most incredible cedar plank salmon for tonight, it’ll blow your mind.”
“It smells great,” Rava says.
“And mac ’n’ cheese for my adorable grandchildren,” she continues. The kids dig in as soon as the cook places the food on the table.
“So! Let’s hear it. Taking on the titan, huh?” Robert asks.
“Uh, yeah, well- it- it obviously was not my ideal plan, but it’s pretty much necessary. My dad-“ he sighs. “It’s just- time for the new generation to take over.”
“True enough, some of us know when to retire! Someone’s got to keep the golf clubs in business. Now for the good stuff- Vaulter!” Kendall knew the M&A lawyer would want all the juicy details about the acquisition.
“My dad wants it gone- I hear,” Kendall starts. “I guess he wants to sell but, you know, if things go right, he won’t be in charge for much longer, so I’m planning to save it. It’s hard from the outside, but I won’t be outside for long.”
“You gave a speech I hear,” Robert smirks.
“That got out, huh?” Kendall asks a little nervously. “Well, I did, yeah. They need to know where we stand. Can’t have them unionizing, it’s for their own good. Dad would shut that down so fast. But we’re gonna have an amazing company culture, like, they’re going to be bragging to their friends about how incredible things are for them. They think they have it good now with a few ping-pong tables. Just wait til I have a chance to do things right. The guys on twelve in our building are pumped about all the changes I made happen. Even the breakfast food. They actually specifically told me so.”
Rava smiles to herself. She likes when the passion spills out of the buttoned-up persona he keeps up.
“Mmhmm. I do see you at the helm,” Robert looks him over and nods approvingly. Rava knows what it means for Kendall to hear that.
“Thank you." He looks genuinely touched and Rava wonders if he's heard that at all since the position was offered to him a year and a half ago.
“Rava!” Robert calls. “Let’s hear some good case news.” Kendall glances at her uneasily.
“You probably should have done me first,” she says jokingly while still accidentally managing to come off as preemptively defensive toward him. “Well,” she begins, “the case I’m still working on is- a unique challenge. Some international corporate stuff. But it’s going all right,” she fibs.
“Nothing you can’t figure out if you put real effort in,” he says. She wonders if she’s being too sensitive or if the implication that she isn’t trying was really there. “What’s wrong with it?” he asks. She gives him a look like he should know better than to ask for case details and he rolls his eyes. “I’ll sign whatever you need, just spill it,” he orders. Kendall watches her dissolve a little as she glances down at the table and gives in and he grimaces for a moment. It doesn’t occur to him that this is what she’s watched happen to him all their lives.
“Um, well, the resorts don’t keep very clear paperwork- I’m sure that’s not an accident- and they make it pretty difficult to get it. I need evidence of settlements for past wage theft whisteblowers to prove this is a pattern of behavior.” She blinks and avoids Robert’s eyes. “But they operate out of these remote island places and it’s been hard to get in touch with anyone in management to get the evidence I need…?” She hates that she probably sounds like she’s not working hard enough. “And I’ve subpoenaed but, obviously, that doesn’t work if everyone’s MIA.” She takes a long sip of her chardonnay, dreading the response.
“Well, if you can’t figure it out yourself, you should grab that Gerri Kellman for a consult,” Robert asserts. Rava’s shoulders tense up. “If Waystar’s still running, it’s because she’s kept ‘em all out of prison,” he laughs. “No offense, Ken.”
“Uh…” Kendall starts. “Well, I, you know, to a point, I agree,” he says, hoping to keep things smooth and take the unwanted attention off of Rava and the case. “There have been some problems with some bad actors within the company. I’m going to affect a lot of change in the culture when I’m CEO. The culture that my dad has allowed is actually toxic. And I’m coming to change that.” He looks at Rava. “But, Rava wouldn’t talk to Gerri while we’re in the middle of this- that would be a disaster.” He looks back at Robert and she feels queasy. “But I’m sure between the two of us, we could get a list of some fuckin’ superstars she could talk to, yeah?”
“You said a bad word!” Sophie cries, looking up from her dinner.
“Oh, sh- uh, yeah. Sorry, Soph.” Sophie goes back to eating and not paying attention.
Normally Rava would laugh at Sophie’s occasional tendency to chastise her dad about little things, but this time, she’s caught on something else. She’d almost forgotten that she’d called Gerri at all in all the chaos of the last few days and hadn’t gotten around to mentioning the conversation to Kendall. Now she thinks she’d better not.
“Mmhmm,” Robert responds. “I’ll get a list going of people you can consult with.”
“I mean, it’s going fine, but- sure.” Rava nods with a tight smile to her stepdad. “Thank you,” she adds. She doesn’t mind when Kendall offers to help because she knows how happy it makes him to feel useful and needed. But when Robert helps, she worries that it comes from doubt rather than encouragement. But either way, in this particular situation, she knows she needs it.
Later that evening, Kendall comes back into their guest bedroom from brushing his teeth and enjoys the low golden light coming from one of the Tiffany lamps on the nightstand by Rava. She watches him and thinks he looks physically lighter on his feet after the compliments and encouragement he got tonight. She feels a bit flattened herself. She slides her hands over her face and makes a mental note to say extra nice things to the kids tomorrow. Being criticized really messes people up, she thinks, considering Kendall’s and her different but related experiences. He sits down on the side of the bed and drops his button-up off his shoulders. Rava reaches up from her position lying in bed and traces her fingers from one freckle to the next on his back. She wants to be close.
“I love these,” she says. They’re peacefully quiet for a moment as she continues. “You’re getting them checked every year though, right?”
He chuckles.
“Yes. You’re so my wife.” She smiles and keeps gently rubbing her fingers over his back as he closes his eyes.
“That feels so nice.” He drops his head back and leans back into her touch.
“Don’t put anything else on,” she whispers.
He nods before turning to lie down right next to her and pull her close into a tight hug. He feels solid, warm, safe. She tucks her head into the crook of his neck and relaxes, relishing how soft his skin is there.
“Mmm, you are a good hugger,” she whispers. “I love you.”
“I love you,” he smiles. “I’m so glad we’re here.” He slides his hands up the back of her t-shirt.
“Feel better?” she asks.
“I’m about to,” he mumbles into her skin as he rolls her on top of him.
“We’ll have to be quiet,” she says mischievously.
He gives her a cocky smile.
“Yeah? Good luck with that.”
Chapter 13 💗
#I love you readers!!!!!#season 2 is a unique challenge because kendall is not with the Roys while he is in canon#we are still following their plot though!#also I didn't make this gif I posted it with credit once and it attributed it to me because I didn't know what I was doing#waymond-wang made it and it's excellent#kendall roy#rava roy#kendall x rava#kenrava#succession#kendall roy fic
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Hi! I saw you rb'd the ask about anything post thingy and I was wondering if you had and thompkean headcanons or anything related to them to share?
(Also when I went to send this ask I realized for the first time you were vssoda I was fully unaware lol)
Thank you so much for this question!
I'll start by saying that I'm not sure how much of this can be considered headcanons, it's rather just my thoughts on them
oh, and also I still haven't finished Gotham and stopped in the middle of s4 (bc the show is eating up my nerves and I'm healing my mental state to continue watching it😭)
and I will note that most likely everything written below is OOC, bc it's hard for me to understand other people's emotions/worldviews/etc, so all my perception of the characters is based on my own experience/feelings
Okay let's go (under the cut bc there's a shit tone of text)
1) I think that Lee felt sympathy for Barbara the first time they met at GCPD. You know, that's just that feeling when you like a person at first sight. I mean just look at this (when I turned on this episode now to take screenshots I noticed Lee was swallowing like every 5 seconds. okay girl):
Bonus: Jim Gordon is clearly terrified that his ex is about to steal his new girlfriend:
And I SWEAR because of that I thought this scene in Barbara's apartment would end with them kissing or something
I was SURE they were going to be canon and when Barbara pulled out the knife I just died inside and was incredibly upset in general😭
I feel like if Barbara hadn't attacked Lee then and let go of the thought of Jim they would have started dating eventually one way or another. But naturally, that scene 100% shattered any trust in Barbara (I mean she tried to kill her cmon). I think Lee is a person for whom actions matter a lot and any betrayal/threat is hard to endure, so all the initial sympathy for Barbara was completely shattered
2) It's incredibly hard for me to understand what was going on in Barbara's head in season 2 (but all of season 2 she's clearly in an escalating manic episode and such states are generally hard to understand rationally), but it seems to me that Barbara's obsession with Gordon eventually spilled over into obsession with Lee, Barbara just doesn't realize it
3) Now it seems to me that the most appropriate moment for them to become canon was in season 4 (okay I say that because I'm slowly writing a ThingTM about it), they've both matured morally, been through a lot of shit and the whole Gordon thing is kind of long gone. It's a moment to get a new perspective on each other
now anything that has nothing to do with canon:
4) Barbara has clearly been physically attracted to Lee all along. And I think when Barbara realizes that she likes Lee romantically she pulls away. Paradoxically, but starts flirting less, becomes more careful in her actions and words. I think she's scared to actually show romantic sympathy (everything we see in the show is usually physical attraction), bc Barbara has never been accepted as a person (only Tabitha, but there's this complicated story with an incomprehensible love triangle). Barbara's parents didn't love her, Gordon didn't seem to love her much either, Montoya? Honestly, I don't know. I think Barbara's used to pretending and being insincere. And that's the thing that hurt her about Lee: Lee is sincere and not afraid of her emotions. She's honest, open and can show weakness. That's something that Barbara has never allowed herself.
And taking the situation of Barbara falling genuinely in love with Lee (I like the idea of Barbara falling in love first) and pulling away, I like to think that Barbara isn't just scared to admit her love (because love = weakness), but also scared to let herself near Lee bc Barbara knows she's a terrible person. It's like touching something clean with dirty hands. And yes, I genuinely love these plot branches when (any kind of) love changes a person for the better, I know it's boring but it's what I want to believe in this life in general
5) It took Lee a lot longer to stop looking at Barbara as a potential danger and unpredictability. She needs time to trust. Again, Lee openly shows her feelings, but that doesn't mean she loves the person, it's just her nature (I think that's exactly what Nygma was getting at. In general, psychopaths often fall in love with people like Lee). But when she felt that Barbara wasn't a threat, she started to notice Barbara as a personality. She fell in love with Barbara's energy (and her humor. I'd like to think of Lee liking Barbara's jokes and every time Lee laughs or smiles Barbara's heart is ready to explode), a healthy version of toughness and sharpness (something Lee lacks, it's hard for her to really resist people), ambition and, despite her generally villainous nature, a desire to do something good (that story about safe space for the women of Gotham)
6) Overall I think they really fell in love with each other as opposites, they have qualities that complement each other and thus both come into balance
7) Their relationship is complicated because it's mentally unhealthy x mentally healthy dynamics. Barbara has an obsessive nature that is hard to get rid of, she has difficulty respecting the other person's personal boundaries, she needs a lot of attention, which her partner can't always give. She has a black and white mindset and any rejection is taken fatally (going into anger or frustration with her partner). But boundaries are a thing she learns in her relationships with Lee and gradually they find compromises. And it seems to me that Lee, despite her generally strong psyche, tends to have an avoidant type of attachment (the fact that she has left town several times as an escape from her problems, but then came back anyway) and at first it was hard for her not to run away from the relationship. Also I think Lee has a problem with rescuing other people, which is also a state she doesn't want to go back to, she doesn't want to save people anymore, giving all of her energy to it. But Barbara doesn't need to be rescued, she can handle her problems on her own, and when Lee realizes that, she becomes calmer. Another problem in their relationship: the fact that Barbara hides her bad mental state to the last, until it all spirals into a severe depression/hysteria/etc. Gradually, Lee creates an atmosphere of comfort and trust without judging Barbara's emotions, so that it becomes easier for the latter to open up, talk about her feelings and not take herself to extremes
8) Both have strong trust issues for different reasons (Barbara is afraid of being abandoned and Lee is afraid of betrayal/violence)
9) They are both self-sufficient mature individuals, but yet they both unknowingly (relatively) give each other a sense of protection and comfort in different aspects of life. Lee learns from Barbara to be tougher with people, to say no more and become a rescuer less often, and Barbara learns from Lee to be more sincere, to not be afraid of her feelings and not consider them a weakness
10) in the beginning of a relationship, Jim was a taboo topic bc it was a trigger for traumatic memories for both of them. But as their relationship settled down, they began to talk about past situations. And in the end their attitude towards Jim was reduced to a funny gratitude, because if it wasn't him, they wouldn't have met and consequently wouldn't have started dating
And some more random stuff:
11) About the ThingTM I'm writing, in short, it's an alternate version of s4 where Barbara and Lee form an alliance and Barbara purposely goes to Lee as a doctor every time she has a physical injury, even if it's something as ridiculous as possible and doesn't really require serious help. Simply bc she wants to spend more time in Lee's company. Sometimes Lee thinks Barbara is just messing with her and she gets really angry about it
12) I very strongly associate them with Abba's song "Voulez-Vous" (I'm a big fan of old disco, Zsasz moment)
"Take it now or leave it
Now is all we get
Nothing promised, no regrets
Voulez-vous
Ain't no big decision
You know what to do
La question c'est voulez-vous(!)"
***
"I'm really glad you came, you know the start, you know the game
Master of the scene
We've done it all before and now we're back to get some more
You know what I mean."
from Barbara's perspective, they sound to me like Franz Ferdinand's "Take me out." I think Barbara was really annoyed by Lee's unrequited feelings
And the Haley Heynderickx's "The Bug Collector", just about the mentally unhealthy x mentally healthy dynamic
13) Because of the scene below I associate Lee with the red color and Barbara with blue (and I think it suits them very well, yes it's cliché, but it's about heat/cold and I'm very fond of connections to ancient things, so here I have a life/death association, mainly because in ancient times blood was associated with life (even though blood loss leads to death) and the graves of the dead were sprinkled with ochre. And black was associated with death of course, dark night too as a symbolism of death and blue in general is easy to take to black. (I even have on this ground not that au but just images of life!Lee and death!Barbara). Well, and there is a logical association that Lee is a doctor and accordingly just within the framework of his profession does everything to prolong human life, and Barbara is a criminal and without much hesitation kills people (if I remember correctly, during the show Barbara killed 34 people or so😭)
I guess that's it for now. Again HUGE thanks for the question, it was really cool to at least structure my thoughts about them a bit. Hopefully some of that made sense
And have a nice day!💕
p.s.
and I have to admit that sometimes I'm soooo embarrassed that I ship thompkean bc it's like we have canon Barbara x Tabitha and the actors who play Jim and Lee are married in real life like…😭😭😭 I feel guilty but I can't help myself I love them sm
And this is the first ship since my teenage years that makes me want to crawl on the walls chew rocks and cry because they're not canon (about nygmobblepot: it could be the same there, but I consider them canon. case closed)
#thompkean#gotham fox#gotham#ask#dear god and i think this isn't all bc i wrote it in a rush#i don't even know why am i so obsessed w them#Barbara kean#Lee thompkins
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Amy muses with magic?
Let's see...
The Graves family are all witches from New Orleans, and use ancestral magic.
Angelique Pierce is also a witch from New Orleans that uses ancestral magic.
And Tabitha Finnigan is a witch from Scotland who lives in America and runs a magic shop, and also specializes in potions.
---
If we want to go outside of just witch magic, then there is also:
Ruby Briar who is a fairy.
Blaise Andrews who manipulates fire (I suppose he would fit into the mutant category).
And then there are two werewolf families; the Green family, and the Wolfe family.
---
And if you want to go further into Canon muses, then there is Willow Rosenburg.
#;answered asks#;thanks for the ask#amaranthine; head canons#verity; head canons#talia; head canons#angelique; head canons#tabitha; head canons#ruby; head canons#blaise; head canons#demitria; head canons#demitri; head canons#hunter; head canons#forrest; head canons
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I'm wondering if Tabitha perhaps gave Jughead this specific backstory 're: being abandoned by his father and having zero positive or just any real parental/father figures in his life' intentionally because it's something he has to actually deal with. That it can't be something that stays beneath the surface anymore or where he rewrites the story but one that he now needs to face head on.
Oh this is a heartbreaking Jabitha point! That even if she tries to get him some fixes (like actually having friends, getting early success in writing, having the FP equivalent be GONE rather than continue to cause pain and problems) there's some things that Jughead has to do on his own that are beyond her universe-making control. I'm just going to adopt this as canon. Thank you!
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The Date
(Tobias Carrick x F!MC) in a Choices Open Heart drabble for Day 1 of Tobias Carrick x Appreciation Week.
@tobias-carrick-appreciation-week @jerzwriter @hopelessromantic1352 @choicesficwriterscreations
Rating: G for nothing but fluff in this fic/head canon of the Carrick family
Masterlist
A/N My head canon for Tobias's background is that he comes from a wealthy, successful family. With his confidence and almost love of the chase when it comes to He and Ethan and the MC going after high profile patients leads me to believe Tobias having parents who instilled that love of butting heads and always challenging yourself. Plus since Ethan has an enjoyment of the finer things in life, i.e. the top shelf scotch and opera, and he doesn't come from money; I think he learned about that way of life through his friendship with Tobias in college. So in this drabble (which takes place before the attack in Book 2 and part of my storyline of Tobias and the MC dating since she and Aurora encountered him at the diner in Book 2) my MC, Chris, will be his date for his mother's wedding
Tobias Carrick's Family
Home: Greenwich, Connecticut
Father: Marcus Carrick*deceased*- was one of the highest paid corporate lawyers in New York City. He died from a heart attack during Tobias's first year in med school.
Mother: Celeste Carrick- a retired interior designer. Spends most of her free time with her grandchildren or taking part in the social scene in Greenwich.
Older Brother: Hugh Carrick- a highly successful corporate lawyer. Married to Vericona Deloache who owns one of New York's top bakeries. The two met when Hugh went to her bakery one afternoon for some needed comfort food. They have three children under the age of ten: Katelyn, Abigail, and Marcus.
Younger Brother: Phillip Carrick- highly respected American history professor at Yale. He's married to Jasmine Cho, an Art History professor at Yale. The two met one rainy afternoon when they were both rushing across the Hewitt Quad and bumped into each other. They have two children under the age of five: four year old Tabitha, and eight month old Tobey (named after his uncle for saving Phillip's life from drowning when they were children)
The Carrick home in Greenwich, Connecticut...
"How was the drive down?"
Tobias dragged his attention away from Chris playing outside with his nieces and nephews to answer his older brother, Hugh.
"Great. Not a lot of traffic."
His younger brother, Phillip, joined them.
"Chris seems to be winning over our most judgmental members of the family."
Tobias snorted in amusement. That was an understatement if ever he heard one. Not one of the latest generation of Carrick's gave outsiders an easy time. Nannies, teachers, and coaches had to work overtime to try and win their trust and smiles.
The squeals of laughter followed by them all shouting Chris's name along with them practically hanging off of her let them all know this was a pretty big deal. Four small bodies were wrapped around her arms and legs.
Tobias saw his mother, Celeste, beaming as she laughed at the sight. She was holding the youngest of her grandchildren, eight months old Tobey, who was doing all he could to wiggle out of her arms and join in on the fun.
Hugh and Phillip's wives, Veronica and Jasmine, were also laughing while trying to tell their children to ease up before they broke Chris.
"So..." Hugh's smirk grew. "Chris must be important to you."
Phillip nudged Tobias on the other side. "When's the last time you brought a woman home to meet the family?"
Tobias merely smiled.
Hugh being the successful lawyer of the family chuckled over his silence. "I see we have an evasive witness, Phil."
"That's more your department than mine," Phillip teased. "I've learned that when he refuses to talk, there's little we can do to get him to answer other than blackmail."
Hugh laughed out loud. "I know just the thing."
Before his brothers could question him, he dashed upstairs. He returned with a photo album that Tobias immediately recognized.
"Is that-?"
"It is." Hugh replied with evil glee. "Every shred of evidence is in here."
Tobias's efforts to snatch the album that held pictures of his less than intelligent decisions as a teenager away from Hugh was thwarted by Phillip playing interference.
"Answer the question or I show Chris this album." Hugh threatened.
"All right!" Tobias held his hands up in surrender with a smile. "Yes, Chris is very important to me which is why I brought her here as my date for Mom's wedding."
"About time you got tied down like the rest of us." Hugh joked. "I was worried you'd be left out of monogamous bliss."
"Ha. Ha." Tobias poured them each a drink. "You two already found what I assumed were the only women on the planet willing and able to deal with a Carrick. I'm just as surprised as you are that I found Chris."
His attention drifted back outside to see Chris drop down on one of the lounge chairs beside his mom. Without any hesitation, she took Tobey in her arms the moment he reached for her. Her tender smile grew softer as he snuggled his head against her shoulder. One little fist held a lock of her red hair as he began to fall asleep.
"That settles it." Phillip shook his head in pity. "Sorry Tobias, but I'm kidnapping Chris and am going to keep her until Tobey goes to college."
"No can do, Phillip." Hugh chortled. "Veronica already staked her claim on her. Our three have never reacted that way to an outsider before."
"I think there's only one Carrick that she's willing to be kept by." Tobias remarked on his way outside. "And it isn't either of you."
***************
"And he's out." Jasmine whispered. "He should sleep the whole night after the day he's had."
She gently untangled Tobey's little fingers from Chris's hair then took him in her arms.
"He's a sweetheart." Chris replied, her soft smile still directed on the baby.
Jasmine beamed at her before slipping back inside with Tabitha following close behind her.
Veronica got to her feet and called her bunch over to begin the long process of getting everyone settled for the night.
Tobias chuckled over their groans as he held the door open for them.
Celeste watched her son settle down close to Chris with a great deal of amused interest.
"Did they wear you out?" He teased.
Chris laughed, slouching against him. "I've never had such a workout in my life."
She cuddled closer to his side when his arm slipped around her shoulders.
"They are a lot of fun." She added. "I just need more energy to keep up."
"Now you know why I have so many coffee makers in my kitchen." Celeste teased. "Those five require my energy plus any that can be manufactured."
She got to her feet, smiling down at them. "I think I'll also turn in."
"Can't have the bride-to-be exhausted for the rehearsal." Tobias teased. "Is the groom aware what awaits him?"
Celeste chuckled as she leaned down to hug him.
"Trust me. Roger knows how much work goes into being with a Carrick."
She reached over and hugged Chris.
"I am thrilled you came along with Tobias."
"I couldn't miss the chance to see where he came from." Chris's smile held mischief. "And to see what made him the man he is today."
"Amazing, isn't it?" Celeste replied. "Who knew this much confidence could be put in one man."
Tobias groaned, dropping his head back.
"My brothers aren't exactly humble."
"True." Celeste tapped her chin while studying him. "Must be your father's genes."
"Ha. Ha." He shooed her away. "Get out of here so I can convince Chris I'm not that bad."
"I don't think I need much convincing." Chris slipped her hand in his.
Celeste observed her son's smile bloom as he turned toward the young woman he'd brought home. She couldn't help but be thankful that Tobias had finally met someone who knew just what he needed.
A playful, yet tender heart.
"Goodnight, dears." She slipped away to tell her other sons her opinion.
"Well?" Hugh asked once the door was shut.
Phillip propped his elbows on the bar. "What do you think of them together, Mom?"
Celeste glanced over her shoulder at the shadowed couple cuddled together on the lounge chair.
"I think there will be another Carrick wedding before too long."
******************
Belle Haven Country Club...
Tobias took a moment to get off by himself. After dancing for the fourth time with his nieces, he'd slipped outside to consider all the changes in his life. Glancing back at the club, he could see those he loved through the glass doors.
So many smiles flashed with muffled laughter tinkling with the muted sounds of music. He saw his brothers with their wives, Hugh dancing with his Veronica while Phillip talked to a group with his hand holding Jasmine's. His mother was once again holding little Tobey, laughing at Roger's attempts to make the baby laugh. It was all how it should be for a night of celebrating.
He was happy and yet a part of him longed for something.
One of the doors opening drew his attention.
"I'm escaping." Chris explained. "I've told all the funny and gross medical stories I know of to your neighbors."
Tobias chuckled as he placed his arm around her, drawing her close to his chest.
"Welcome to Greenwich."
"Thanks."
Chris wrapped her arms around his waist. Her eyes drifted over his face, brow puckering with concern.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
"Nothing." He promptly responded.
"Tobias."
"I don't know, Chris. I don't know what's wrong with me." His eyes narrowed as he tried to think of a way to explain what he felt.
"Is it because things are changing?" She asked. "You seemed shocked when Hugh explained your mom's plans with the house and all."
He slowly nodded. "I guess that's it."
He had been floored and yet he knew he shouldn't be. After all, he knew Roger would want to create a home with his mom without memories of his father at every turn. He even supported it. And as if Celeste knew her sons would need their childhood home to remain as it was, she'd decided to keep it and use it for just their holiday gatherings and when the grandchildren wanted to spend the night.
The thought that the house would remain for the most part empty hurt. It was almost like the moment his father's coffin had been shut. It was final. There was no returning to what once was.
Chris rested her cheek against his chest, holding him closer than before.
He set his drink down and wrapped both arms around her, accepting this quiet comfort she gave so freely.
It was just like her to not try and reason with him over a feeling that couldn't be easily explained. She allowed him to feel it without the guilt of being childish or foolish all while doing her utmost to comfort him.
"I love you, Chris."
She propped her chin on his chest, smiling up at him.
"You better."
He laughed, feeling more of his tension melt off.
She kissed him in the midst of his laugh.
"I love you, too." She whispered against his lips.
He moaned softly at the heat of their next kiss. The stray thought of his earlier conversation with Hugh about the house came to mind.
While Chris was talking to Vericona, Hugh lowered his voice.
"I think Mom's hoping you'll eventually want to move into the house."
"Me? Why? I work in Boston. That house is too big for a single man."
"Not just you." Hugh gave him a look of exasperation. "You and your family."
Tobias choked on his drink.
"And here we thought you were smart." Hugh teased, thumping him on the back.
Tobias glared at him as he tried to breathe through the burn his whiskey sour left throughout his nose and throat.
"Anyway," Hugh was unfazed by the glare, "She's already had me put the house in a trust for all of us. Between it and the prenup, she is making sure that everything she and Dad have goes to us and our children."
"Roger agreed to that?"
"He did." Hugh shook his head slowly as if in disbelief. "Then he had me write that the majority of his fortune goes to Mom upon his death."
"Really?" Tobias looked over at the couple. "I knew he'd had a crush on her in high school. But to go that far after fifty some odd years apart..."
"The power of love." Hugh shrugged. "The kids like him."
"That's a good sign."
"Mom wouldn't have gone on another date with him if they hadn't."
They both watched the couple share a slow dance.
"It's good she won't be alone so much." Hugh whispered.
Tobias nodded in agreement.
As he kissed Chris, he began to think about what his childhood home would be like as his own. He could imagine the voices of children echoing through the halls as they got ready for a visit from their family. He could picture a few of them with red hair running down the stairs to greet him after a long day of work.
And he could easily see Chris there, adding even more memories to the precious ones he held.
"Chris?"
"Hmm?"
"You think you'd ever want to leave Boston?"
"And go where?"
"Maybe here?"
"Greenwich?"
"Yes."
She contemplated it for a few seconds.
"I could see myself doing that." She caressed his cheek. "After all, I know of a great family that lives close by."
"You should meet their middle son." He teased.
Her lips twitched with mirth. "Really? And why is that?"
"He's a great guy. Handsome. Utterly charming. Brilliant diagnostician." He explained.
"Wow. I've always wanted to meet a man like that." She eased out of his arms with a flirty smile. "I had no idea that the Mitchell's had a doctor in the family."
Tobias squeezed a laugh out of her while he began to tickle her for such a statement about one of the neighbors.
"Tobias!" She squealed when his hand drifted down her highly sensitive rib cage once more.
"Which family has the handsome, charming doctor?" He growled against her neck.
"The Carrick's do." She breathlessly replied.
"Damn right they do." He kissed her once more.
"Would you like to stay out here or go back inside?" She asked.
"Which would you prefer?"
"I don't mind either way." Chris rested her head on his shoulder. "I'll go wherever you want."
Tobias pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, grateful and amazed that he'd found someone like her.
"We'll go back inside. It's a party after all."
"I wouldn't be opposed to sneaking back out here." Chris winked at him as she looped her arm through his. "Especially if someone joins me for illicit kisses."
"I know just the man for the job." He replied.
Chris hugged his arm.
"I thought you would."
#choices open heart#tobias carrick#tobias carrick x mc#tobias x chris#tobias carrick appreciation week#choices fic writers creations
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After so long here's Nesta Archeron on the Continent in the ACOTAR Moscow!!
Nesta x (half human half fae) human rights advocate Dmitri
[Idk if it's canon but in my head the Continent is definitely more socially mixed with humans and Fae living along side each other]
Nesta on a transcontinental steam train. Sleepily watching through the window as the snowy wilderness passes by. Brown leather seats and the smell of black coffee.
She has an elderly human from Prythian as a neighbour and Nesta writes all her letters for her since they speak the same language. The woman has three cats. Henry, Tabitha and Maude. Through this woman she meets Dmitri.
He is an eccentric half human half Fae who smokes too much. He runs an organisation that provides free help to humans and 'lesser' Fae seeking legal assistance in misuse of magic cases.
Nesta and Dmitri clash sometimes but not enough to ever impact their work. At first Nesta is only there because she writes fast but her efficiency and ability to quickly pick up on complex topics helps gain Dmitri's trust.
He explains things to her, sometimes writes out notes, eventually hands her books and pamphlets. It's not as fun as her romance novels but it's new and it helps ground her in her new world. In Prythian, she'd been pushed into her new world then made to work and train without any real mental adjustment.
But through Dmitri's work Nesta understands both human and Fae better. She adjusts, settles and things start to feel right.
He sometimes sends Nesta to lectures and conferences he insists he's too busy to attend, asking her to take note and relay to him. The frequent attendees start to take notice of her and at first they greet, friendly enough, but soon she's roped into questions and discussions.
Eventually a now familiar group invite her to lunch, then to the houses of some of the local speakers, to evening drinks and even a half hidden restaurant that seems to act more like a debate space than anything else.
Sometimes it's too much but Nesta finds herself engrossed in new ideas and expanding her mind. Sometimes she doesn't quite now how to counter arguments without revealing things she'd rather not about her life as a once human now fae.
But she's one of the youngest fae in almost every setting so everyone gives her grace, even when she doesn't want it. It feels strange to be acknowledged as young, something she hadn't been even as a human child, and brought into strange perspective her life in Velaris - Feyre's rush to seem on level with her 500 year old husband and friends.
A part of Nesta wants to write to her sisters - it's been 4 years since she left a note and boarded a ship after receiving that horrible ultimatum - but she isn't quite ready yet.
Eventually, she tells Dmitri about who and what she is. It isn't easy. Neither of them are especially vulnerable people and in Prythian almost everyone knows anyways but once she tells him it becomes easier to tell others.
It changes some things, the way some people look at her. Less like a child. Nesta doesn't mind. There's an upscale in some of the evening dinners and parties she's invited to. But she slides into those roles easily enough - getting Dmitri in so he can strongarm officials and influential names of the upper echelons.
She finally feels herself slip into the rhythm of the city. Horse carriage rides and wine parties, art exhibitions and long nights pouring over cases, her favourite cafe where she goes to be alone and watch people pass by on the street, chess games with Dmitri.
Winter was never her favourite time of year but here she finds things to look forward to. Moving ice sculptures and the laughter of children having snowball fights in the park. Cups and cups of coffee, hot chocolate and tea.
Eventually, she helps draft a policy that protects humans against fae glamouring as violation of their autonomous rights. Nesta writes to the Summer, Dawn, Day and Night Courts on including the policy in the laws on the protection of humans in Prythian and pressuring the other courts to do the same.
She, Dmitri and a few are invited back to the Summer and Day Courts to speak on and further help with the integration of the new policy.
Edit: I just realised Dmitri is kinda my first OC ?? It's kinda exciting ☺️
#acotar#nesta archeron#anti acosf#anti nessian#nesta deserves better#pro nesta archeron#acotar headcanon#acotar edit#nesta edit#my ocs#ae aesthetics
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'DON'T BLAME ME, [PART SIX]
-GOTHAM!JERVIS TETCH X READER-
⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; Reader and Lee get tied up in a revenge plot.
⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!jervis x female reader. SLOW BURN!!! Not sure how many chapters this will be yet! LOTS OF PLOT SET-UP!! AGE GAP ROMANCE! (reader is Jim and Barbara's daughter) Is reader really young and naive, or is she just young and angry? Lack of Jervis in this one, I apologize. I love Lee and Readers dynamic. The slow burn is slow burning. She fell first, he fell harder. More of reader dissociating. AU where The Ogre's still alive. Reader and Lee being mortal frenemies. Writing this kind of artistically and as character studies for everyone. Small time skip. Reader continues to reference Jervis as "Mr. Tetch." Just you guys wait...they'll get there. I'm taking canon out back and beating it with a stick until it stops twitching.
⋆ tag list (tell me if you want to be removed!) @adalwolfgang @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @honestmrdual @moonlightnyx @all-things-fandomstuck @killingboredom @sweetlimeharvest
⋆ 'PART ONE, - 'PART TWO, - 'PART THREE, - 'PART FOUR, - 'PART FIVE, - 'PART SIX, - 'PART SEVEN, - 'PART EIGHT, - 'PART NINE, -'PART TEN, - 'PART ELEVEN, - 'PART TWELVE, - 'PART THIRTEEN,
♫ “I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy.” Don't Blame Me by Taylor Swift
Nothing seems real anymore.
You'd heard of the crazies running around in Gotham. Whether that was from your father, mindlessly ranting over a stack of police files. Or your mother, who frequently talked to said crazies on a daily basis.
Prior to Mr. Tetch, you'd only ever dealt with one first hand. At least, one that was actively trying to murder your family. And that was none other than Jason Skolimski. The Ogre. You feel your body involuntarily shake when you even think about him.
You're unsure what happened to him, exactly. You were just thirteen when everything got turned on its head. But you do know one thing. His body was shipped to Indian Hill. Your mother and father never mention it. You wonder if your mother ever thinks about it. The small possibility...that man could still be alive.
She'd probably thank him. It was because of him that she embraced her "true self".
You bite your lip, lost in your head. Somethings been missing ever since Mr. Tetch turned out to be...whatever he is. Ever since he left, Tabitha’s seemed happy. Your mom hasn’t. Appearently his hypnotism act was attracting a bunch of publicity to the club.
You should've been thankful, like Tabitha. Good riddance. That should've been the end of it. But you had begged Jim to take you to the GCPD, to ask Alice questions. You needed answers. More than he did.
You always hated the GCPD. The last time you went to the department, you were young and naive. It was ‘take your child to work day.’ You watched a serial cannibal try to bite Harvey Bullock's finger off. Tale as old as time.
It didn't matter, regardless. Jim didn't let you go again. You remember the vague shouting match between you two. Good thing, maybe. Judging by the fact Mr. Tetch hypnotized a family of strongmen to kill everyone in the place. And then Alice impaled herself on a pole. All in the papers.
What does it matter? You're not sure why you let the whole situation get under your skin.
A few dreams, a few encounters, a few shared looks. You find yourself scoffing at your own blind idiocy. Maybe you are still young and naive.
You've been taking your rightful place at the bar, next to Butch. You two have been tossing back shots of tequila, mindlessly ranting at the same time to one another. Again, there’s comfort in knowing you both want to speak to someone that you can’t have.
"I don't understand. She doesn't even look at me anymore. I mean, she just looks at Barbara. Sorry, I know she's your mom, or whatever."
"Don't apologize. I don't understand either. Where the hell even is he?"
"Your dad?" Butch furrows his eyebrows.
No, you think. Mr. Tetch. You don't vocalize that though. You lie with a nod.
Maybe the alcohol caught up to you. You should've known better. Day-drinking never ends well. You cringe, remembering Harvey slurring his words, knocking on your dads apartment door. Either way, you aren't in control of your own body. Before you know it, you're leaving the club, tossing a wad of cash to Butch. He wolf whistles and takes it gladly.
You're just walking down the street. Maybe drunkenly. Kicking loose pebbles on the sidewalk, swinging around streetlamps. You'd expect a weird look or two from bystanders. But you realize no ones on the street except for you.
It's Gotham. You should be more concerned by the fact your alone. But it's broad daylight. Surely nothing could go wrong-
Before the thought can be fully thought out, a pair of arms grabs you from behind. You find yourself kicking and screaming, being dragged by a heavy-set man. Yay.
Huffing through the set of hands over your mouth, you're shoved into a trunk, light significantly dimming as it's closed. You hear the lock click, and you stop fussing. Attempting to calm yourself, you search your pockets for your phone. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Your mom is a crime lord. Your dad is a cop, or rather, was one. You'll be fine.
You can't seem to find your phone in your pockets though. You feel your heartrate speed as you frantically start to search. The bar. You left it at the fucking bar. Nice fucking job Y/N. You definitely wouldn't survive in a horror movie.
You give up. You're defeated. Maybe they'll be a pair of nice human traffickers. Take pity on you. You sigh and throw your head back for the rest of the car ride. Squeezing your eyes shut, you manage to accept whatever fate is in store for you.
You had a good run, champ. A voice that sounds an awful lot like your fathers praises in the back of your mind.
Like a ragdoll, you're roughly placed on the floor. Eyes still trying to get used to the bright light, you feel both dizzy and discombobulated. Your head is pounding from any alcohol you had prior. Picked a great day to drink.
Blinking wildly, the first thing you manage to digest is being chained to a bathtub.
"Y/N?" A voice asks, and your eyes snap up. Staring wide eyed at you, just tied up as you are, is Lee Thompkins.
A million thoughts rush through your head. The first one you promptly register is what is this bitch doing here?
"Lee?" You mumble. You think this might be a hallucination, but if you were going to hallucinate someone, it wouldn't be her.
You two stare at each other for a moment. Tense, awkward. The last time you saw her was when your father witnessed her having moved on. You still remember the feeling, standing on your tiptoes to look through a window. Seeing your fathers heart break before your eyes.
You never really talked to her. She always tried to talk to you though. A lot. Too much. But she could never be the Barbara you used to know. No matter how hard she tried.
"What the fuck is going on?" You whisper yell. Lee looks at you, swallowing.
"Tetch blames Jim for Alice, and we're his means for revenge."
At the mention of his name, your blood runs cold. You didn't expect to ever see him again. Let alone see Lee. You watch, petrified, as Lee fidgets around through the bathroom cabinet.
For the most part the room is silent, other than the clanking of items being searched through.
"Leave it." Is all you say, watching her look uncontrollably for something to pick the lock. She sighs.
"You expect me to just sit here and die?"
"Yes." You hiss. She doesn’t turn to look at you, but you can imagine her face, disappointed and irritated. You don't care. You get mean when you're nervous.
"…It's not my fault. Jim is who he is, Y/N. I can't change that. Neither can you."
The truth stings harder coming from her of all people.
"Oh, give yourself some credit, Ms. Thompkins," You say the name snappish. "Without you, I hardly doubt we'd be in this mess."
That makes her perk up. Her nostrils flare, and the clanking sounds louder.
"You don't seriously blame me for this?" She still doesn't make eye contact with you, but she motions wildly to the locks on your ankles. You give a nonchalant, bitter shrug.
"If you didn't leave him, he wouldn't have become a bountyhunter."
"You don't know that." Her eyes soften in hurt. It fuels you.
"No. But I know you're a whore." The words escape your mouth before you internalize them. There's a long beat of silence before she finally turns to look at you, still sitting on the ground. She huffs.
"Maybe you're just really scared and this is your way of coping," She starts, "Or maybe you're just insanely committed to taking care of your father. Either way, all I'm interested in is getting out of here."
You look at each other with a mutual mix of regret.
"Try a cuticle pusher." You finally say, smiling humorlessly. "My dad's was a cop, after all. Taught me how to pick locks. I can walk you through it."
She nods. You nod. It's not the same feeling of understanding you get when talking with Butch. But...it's not too far off either.
"You really are his daughter." She sighs, snatching a cuticle pusher up from the counter.
"Thanks."
"It's not a compliment."
"Remember you have to-"
"I got it." Lee cuts you off, fiddling with the lock. You put your hands up in mock defense. At least your humors returning back to you.
"Can I ask you something?" You start off, slow. She glances at you for a moment, before returning to her chains.
"As long as it's not about why I left your dad." She mutters.
"Not exactly," You pause, looking for the right words to say. "Why did you return to Gotham? You looked all cozy down south."
"It's really none of your business."
You let out a loud scoff at that.
"You were ready to become my stepmother less than a year ago," You continue. At this, her movements falter. "You could've chosen any city. Any job. But you chose Gotham."
"You realize we both might die today, right?"
"Yes. And I don't want to die not knowing why you left us, just to come back and dangle it in front of my dad."
Her movements stop completley.
"I didn't come here for James Gordon." She's firm in her stance. In one last fluid moment, the lock unclicks before our eyes. She heaves a small sigh of relief.
She offers you the cuticle pusher. You take it. About three seconds in, it breaks. Shit.
Not the worst fate in the world, you think. You'd be able to see Mr. Tetch again. Ask him all the unanswered questions. That is, if he doesn't immediately kill you. Maybe you’re a fool to think a part of him enjoyed your company.
"You can still escape." You nod to Lee, hopeful she'll leave, hopeful she'll stay. With what you said to her earlier, you wouldn't blame her.
"I'm not leaving you here," She speaks. Her tone is gentle. Somewhat motherly. The sentiment actually makes guilt bubble up inside you. "There's got to be something else."
Looking around the room madly, you two are interrupted in your searching's.
"My, my," A voice drawls. You know that voice. "You two have been busy."
There he is.
Jervis stands tall, looking down at the both of you. You meet his gaze. For the first time in quite awhile, that feeling of electricity shoots through you again. You want to tear yourself apart. Find whatever part of your brain is fascinated with the idea of this man. Cut it out of you, examine it, and throw it away.
"Now, if you'd kindly join me in the dining room?" He speaks. You notice his eyes are focused solely on you, effectively ignoring Lee. He still looks relatively angry though.
Despite his demeanor, he offers you a hand to help you up. Lee watches his movements. You take his arm without question. That seems to spark something in his eyes. In Lee's eyes, too.
...You're unsure if that's a good or bad sign.
#gotham#x reader#gotham x reader#batman#batman rogues#batman rouges gallery#batman x reader#gotham villains x reader#dc comics#jervis tetch x reader#jervis tetch#the mad hatter x reader#fic series#dc mad hatter#gotham jervis tetch#gotham mad hatter#jervis tetch imagine#gotham jervis
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when do you think stewy accepted his sexuality? do you think he ever dealt with internalized homophobia?
i mean sure, it’s more likely than not that he did, but he definitely seems very comfortable with it now and also i just dont think it was that big of a deal??
i think if you’re asking this in the context of the show its like. i think the show’s relationship to queerness and to its canonical queer characters is particular in that, despite how often we’re reminded of logan’s homophobia and how he uses it to belittle the kids, the canonical queer content in the show is not really shown or reacted to as taboo. lawrence and his husband, tabitha and naomi also being canonically bisexual and exes and dating kendall and roman, kendall’s casual ‘you give toothy head. everyone at school said so’ (in the script only but still) and then of course ‘you kiss guys on molly’ also said casually and with no reactions from the sibs. i think its set up that the roy kids’ relationship to queerness, because of logan’s homophobia, is kinda this idea of its ok for other people to be gay, but not for them to be, because logan would use it against them. ie the queer subtexts of kendall and romans and it being met with fear when noticed or acknowledged by logan (which goes into logans expectations of masculinity etc etc you know the drill). i know this is going off the rails of what you asked lol, but its like yeah probably stewy has dealt with internalized homophobia and realized his sexuality at a young age and maybe had a crisis about it a little bit, but also like. the homophobia in succession is less a narrative or a commentary about homophobia in society or in the business industry, and imo more as homophobia as a form of familial abuse, between parent and child or as embedded into a abusive family structure as a means of control or belittlement, so i haven’t really thought about it in the context of the other characters in the show. and thats coming from a place of like, ive enjoyed the particular take on queerness and homophobia in the show because its not just a blanket ‘hey businessmen are homophobic’ but felt particular to the characters and the show’s main theme as a family drama
to properly answer your question tho: i think stewy did realize and accept his sexuality at a young age and i think his biggest struggle with his sexuality was realizing that he liked kendall
#literally all of this aside like. stewy does whatever the fuck he wants honestly like i really dont think it was a Thing#like maybe i dont see him going to a pride parade but i do see him bringing a guy as his recny date idk#ask#anon#m
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