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greatunironic · 2 months

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eddie wakes up in a strange room. this was not particularly unusual for him, historically: he’d spent most of his twenties waking up in new and interesting places (including a handful of jail cells). but after eddie, the label, and the los angeles superior court system decided it would be best if he stopped drinking and doing blow, it stopped being such a regular occurrence.

so it’s almost alarming to him, now, to be blinking up at an unfamiliar cement ceiling with the raging bitch of all headaches and generally feeling like he got hit by a truck, got whiplash in a crash with the way his neck aches. he’d think he was hungover like all those times before except for how sharp the pain is, bright.

he worries, briefly, he’s relapsed, or someone’s slipped him something. but he remembers what him and the boys had been up to, before this, and he thinks it’d’ve been a strange night indeed if someone roofied a c-list (b-list if he’s feeling charitable) musician at a fucking frozen four game.

because yeah, eddie remembers: they’d been third row, watching the wisconsin ladies clean up and cheering for jeff’s kid sister like she was about to get olympic gold. (she probably would, someday. her and that mayfield girl who played defense were looking down the barrel at a 2026 run apparently.

eddie’s been to a handful of games over the years, when touring and recording allows them to go. he’s resolutely never been a sports guy but he’ll admit, when pressed, that live hockey is pretty dope. to say nothing, of course, of how jeff would probably murder them all in their sleep if they didn’t rep the red and white for lottie.

(and also — and this is between eddie and his god alright — but lottie’s coach? standing back there in his suit, hair styled and dialed, snapping his gum, yelling at the refs? kind of doing it for him, okay. worth the price of admission, even if the tickets weren’t free.)

when he thinks harder — which hurts too — the last thing he clearly remembers was someone from the beavers scoring, bringing their lead to 5-1, and a slapshot from the other team getting out over the boards and nearly taking out some lady’s popcorn. someone behind them in the seats said, “jesus they’re getting desperate, eh?”

then shit goes dark on him, not even a fade to black, but a full on smash cut, roll credits black, and the post-credits scene is where ever the fuck eddie is at the moment. it smells like human and cold and icy hot, so obviously, he thinks, he died and went to hell like all the church ladies said he would back in hawkins, or probably just a locker room. what the fuck?

he blinks at the ceiling, at an interesting water stain on the cement texturing. he’s in the middle of wondering where the rest of his band has gone if he’s here alone, fucking abandoners, when a sweaty redhead with the bitchiest expression he’s maybe ever seen enters his field of vision.

“you’re alive,” she says.

eddie blinks again. “why do you sound so disappointed?”

“yo coach!” she shouts, already on the move away from him. “he’s alive!”

he tries to sit up, but that makes the pain in his head worse, and also draws attention to the fact that his back also hurts. he squeezes his eyes shut and makes a truly embarrassing noise of pain — if pressed, he’d call it a whimper — and a pair of big hands land on his shoulders.

“out, out ladies i got this! hey!, hey, man, don’t move just yet,” says big hands.

“yeah, no problem, i don’t want to anymore,” eddie says. he stirs up the will to open his eyes again and very nearly slams them back shut. because of course the person staring down at him is fucking coach hottie snackycakes himself. he’s even better looking in person, too, big droopy eyes, lips as pink as his bubblegum, and shiny, jesus christ. he’s still got eddie by the shoulders, hands warm through the thin cotton of his flannel and tee — because eddie’s always been more fashion than sense, wayne always said, and it’s even worse now that the paps are on him—

“oh, fuck this is gonna be all over tiktok later, isn’t it?” he moans.

“maybe not.”

“don’t lie.”

“listen, eddie — it is eddie, right?” asks coach hottie. “i’m steve. coach harrington. faughnsie — lottie, i mean — she said you’re eddie. her brother’s guitarist? what do you remember?”

“more like he’s my singer,” he says, “but sure. and not much.”

“well, you’re gonna be okay,” says coach hottie — steve. “it really wasn’t that bad, and it was probably too fast for anyone to get it, unless they already had a camera on you. you took a puck to the head when one popped up. i’d apologize but it wasn’t one of my girls who did it, so. anyway — you weren’t out for long, which robbie says is good — she’ll get a look at you in a second — but you got your bell rung pretty good. and you’re gonna have quite the shiner, trust me.”

“speaking from experience?”

“oh, yeah. closer and faster too.” he gently raps his head with his knuckles. “too many concussions too early ended my nhl days, in fact.”

“oh. oh shit, sorry, i—“

“don’t worry about it, man, it happens,” he says. “and if it hadn’t, i wouldn’t be here.”

“at the frozen four.”

“yeah, sure, that too.”

“what?”

“what?” steve waves him off. “anyway, i’m just glad to see you up, ish, and talking. looked pretty scary, from the bench.”

“i really don’t remember,” says eddie. “but i’m sure i’ll see it on tiktok later, like i said — at least, my unconscious, bleeding form.”

“i got up there pretty fast, so i doubt it,” says steve.

eddie blinks, twice. “you—?”

“you were behind my bench, and you. well,” he says with a shrug, but he’s clearly a little embarrassed, finally putting those hands away — weapons of eddie destruction, he thinks — and shoving them into his pockets of his tight slacks. “i should be getting back out there.”

“do you? you’re murdering them pretty good, unless i black out and missed them getting four more goals,” eddie says.

the corners of steve’s eyes crinkle when he smiles. eddie thinks he might just pass out again. “no, we’re still gonna cinch it, i think. looks bad, though — first time coach missing the final period so’s he can hit on the cute musician who got his clock cleaned by the biscuit.”

“oh,” he says. swallows. “uh.”

steve’s crinkly, smiley eyes go wide. “unless—“

“no less!” eddie shouts and then immediately winces. at a better, less damaging to his more than slightly concussed noggin, volume, he says, “more, actually. because pretty sure i shouldn’t be left unsupervised, and i’ve clearly been abandoned by the band, so—“

“so,” says steve.

“coach, two minutes!” someone calls.

“so, i was hoping maybe i could keep hitting on the hot hockey coach back at his?”

“i’m at the ramada inn,” he says, “and i got tape to watch for the finals.”

“i live for room service,” eddie tells him seriously. “and i’m suddenly very into wisconsin sports teams.”

“coach! go time!”

“yeah?” he asks.

“yeah.”

“COACH!”

he jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “i gotta — but, uh, later?”

“pick me up in twenty?”

“probably more like half an hour, with stoppage,” he says.

someone bangs on the door. “COACH!! let’s boogie!!”

with one last look, wide eyed and smiling, steve leaves. eddie watches him go. he’d heard hockey players were caked up but lord — eddie is about to convert to a new religion, or maybe found one, over the stretch of those slacks.

“damn,” he says quietly.

“gross,” a woman says. eddie startles and looks to the side, where a lanky brunette with a bob and an undercut is staring at him, unimpressed. she’s in some get up that screams athletic trainer, and there’s a white board in her hand.

“how long have you been there?” he asks.

she raises an eyebrow. “long enough, and honestly, i don’t know if that counts as a you rule for him, or a you suck for you,” she says and does not elaborate when he asks. “also don’t look at him like that. it’s steve. he’s basically my sister.”

“yeah? any tips then?” asks eddie. “i promise i’ll only use them for good. well. mostly.”

“god,” she says with an expansive eye roll. “you’re gonna be a nightmare, aren’t you?”

a cheer goes up outside the room as the teams, presumably, take the ice again. eddie, head throbbing, concussed, embarrassed, grins. “sure hope so,” he says.

#stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #rockstar au #hockey au #two great tastes that taste great together tbh #cross posted on twitter #might clean this up later + pop it on ao3

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glacierclear · 1 year

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Leon sweaty from working out and taking off his shirt as he comes home.

Anyway..

Leon wouldn't even need to buy deodorant at a certain point. I'll scrape off the musk with my beaver teeth.

#asks

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i-want-men-i-cant-have · 6 months

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Yan!Buc-ee's worker x reader headcanons

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who took the job to help support his family's farm and pay for his school supplies.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who paused chopping meat when he noticed you entering the store with runny mascara and shoulders heaving.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who for some reason felt a twinge of embarrassment about his bright red polo and khaki uniform. Did it make him look tacky? Was his hair messier than usual? What if you didn't like the cowboy hat he was forced to wear? What if his chopping skills weren't as good as you wanted them to be? Why is he sweating all of a sudden?

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who had to ask you to repeat your order, all the while feeling embarrassed, unable to tear his gaze away from your glossy lips as you spoke.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who, for some reason, blurted out that the Beaver Nuggets complimented your eyes, feeling his gloved fingers start to cling to his sweaty hands as you finally smiled and said, 'Thank you.'

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who got yelled at by an old lady for watching you leave the store with two brisket sandwiches and a bag of Beaver Nuggets instead of taking her order.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who parked at school the next day and saw you again. However, this time, he witnessed you being forcefully pushed out of a truck and onto the concrete of the school parking lot.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who realized that the boy who shoved you out of the large red truck- your boyfriend, was the school's prized quarterback

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who had heard about what your boyfriend had done to anyone interested in you, so he kept his distance and watched from afar as he witnessed the actions.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who can’t stand always seeing him coming into the Buc-ee’s with you. A hand on your waist and the way your face looks. You look so scared. Why would you be with him? He makes you look like his old bloodhound, shaking and about to drop dead at any sudden movement.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who realizes that when you bought those two brisket sandwiches, they were for you and your boyfriend.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who realizes that the reason you had been crying that first night he saw you was because of the boy in front of him, asking for a smoked, chopped beef brisket and barbecue sauce on a soft white bun.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who smiles and says ‘yes sir’ when your boyfriend asks if he remembered the order, snapping his fingers to make sure he was even alive.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who couldn't help but look at you and pray to his mama that you remembered him that night. That one boy that made you smile when you cried because of your horrible boyfriend.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who got caught by your boyfriend for looking at you one night. He just couldn't help it now could he? The way your face illuminated when you were looking at something in the freezer, it was breathtaking.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who got yelled at by your boyfriend for 'lookin' at my woman,' before security had to kick him out escorting the quarterback out of the store, with you following closely and apologizing for your boyfriend's behavior. He might need an inhaler if you kept making him forget how to breathe.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who finally snapped after school, watching your boyfriend hit you for the last time, grabbing your hair and pulling your scalp. Did he just call you a whiny bitch? You're not supposed to swear! How could he? He delivers some soap in his mouth for that dirty mouth of his.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who marched up to him and landed a clean punch right on the jaw, causing the quarterback to stumble back. Oh no, did he just spit out some blood? And why was he crouched down, glaring like that? But wait, are you alright? Why are you looking at him like that? Are you afraid of him? That was the last thing he wanted!

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who then found himself brutally beaten to a pulp by the football team the next day at lunch, with you watching from afar, looking as guilty as ever.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who got patched up by his mama after school, telling him to stay away from those 'big shot boys.'

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who jumped when she suddenly started squealing, kicking her feet, and giggling when he told her that he had done it to save a girl. It's not like that; you're just a friend, a girl he's been talking to almost every night since that first time he met you.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who showed up to school the next day with a busted lip and patched-up eye. Will you like him? What if he looks gross like this? What? Are you thanking him? You’re just so sweet!

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who asks if you want him to drive you back to his place. It’s really nothing much for him. He’s just looking out for you is all. What- you want to actually do it? You want him to drive you home?

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who holds his breath and fiddles with his pencil the rest of the day waiting for the end of school to come. What if you tried to kiss him? How would your lips taste? Sweet? Sour? Just right? No, he can't! You have a boyfriend!

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who makes sure to get you into his car while your boyfriend is stuck at practice. You can just tell him you drove home with a good friend of yours!

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who listened to you told him where to drive, making sure to go just under the speed limit. He’s just being safe, don’t worry! He definitely isn't doing it so he can be with you longer, where did you hear that from?

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who asks if you want to visit the local lake with him since you seem so stressed out lately. Huh? You’re scared people have noticed you’ve been down? Don’t worry, he’s just perceptive like that watching your boyfriend beat you to the point of blood dripping from your bruised body.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who lays down a picnic blanket on the bank of the river for the both of you to sit on. It’s just so relaxing with him here, isn’t it? Is your boyfriend starting to leave your memories with thoughts of him? No? Well you should, he’s honestly such a big waste of your time and energy.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who softly grabs your hand, squeezing it telling you everything’s going to be ok.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who watches you panic and fold up the blanket throwing it back into the car when you say it’s past your curfew while the sun sets.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who decides the speed limit is just a number. He’s watched NASCAR on that old brick of tv for a reason after all.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who sneaks into the backyard of your house to help you climb into your second-story room.

Soft!Buc-ee's employee who gently grabs your waist, making sure not to squeeze too tightly as he lifts you up, allowing you to climb onto the trellis.

"If that boyfriend of yers messes with ya one more time, y'all just send 'im my way. Whoa now, don't ya go fallin'!"

#｡˚꩜.no gunsHCs #x reader #soft x reader #buc ees #buc ees x reader #southern boy #reader x oc

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dromaeocore · 2 years

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okay forget the 2000s narnia movies do you guys remember the 1989 bbc chronicles of narnia series

we got perpetually sweaty beavers

we got maugrim the wolf

we got random 2d animated animals

we got aslan who just looks like a regular fucking lion

and we got the white witch (her outfit is better than the 2000s movie tbh)

anyways. who else remembers rewinding the vhs tapes of this series ten thousand times

#narnia #bbc narnia #exvangelical #you guys might get a hoot out of this

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minmos · 6 months

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im feeling sick to my stomach thinking about the prospect of not seeing otoboke beaver live during this tour. i bought tickets last time they were in the states but i had to miss because some shit came up . im nauseous and sweaty

#minmoment

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angiezidler205 · 4 months

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Making Up

The Break Up Final

Warning: A little bit suggestive

The boys finally got out of the restaurant, holding so many bags of food to go. They all laughed as Filburt yelled at Heffer to not eat all of the food. They walked towards Rocko's car and placed all the food inside. They got inside and Rocko started the car. It purred for a little bit but then started sputtering and let out so much water from the front. The car soon died and Rocko sighed, “Guess we're going to have to push the car then fellas.”. Everyone groaned a bit but noticed there's five of them. It won't be that hard to push! They each opened the doors, Rocko turned on the emergency lights, and they all pulled the car backwards. Once it got enough room to turn towards home, they finally pushed forward.

It honestly felt easier to push the whole car because Heffer isn't sitting there eating. Heffer pushed from the passenger’s door, Filburt on the back right door, Daggett on the left, and Norbert pushing the trunk. Rocko was a bit worried but Norbert insisted just in case the car rolls forward he'll let them know by slapping his tail to the floor. They pushed for a good thirty minutes, passing by Rocko's work and Norbert heard the familiar ugly laughter.

“Oh my God, the beaver is back.”, Kayla said laughing. “And he honestly smells far worse than before!!”, Cassandra laughed while pinching her nose. Abish pointed at his sweaty body and laughed, “Honestly the sweat on him, makes his fur look like a rotten banana peel!”. Heffer, Daggett and Filburt looked at them angrily but heard a car door slam hard. They turned to see an Angry Wallaby storming towards the girls.

“I'm glad Rocko dumped him. This ugly beaver doesn't deserve to be with a cute- Rocko!!!”, Vanessa said shocked. Norbert turned to see Rocko next to him looking far more angrier than before.

Rocko got in front of the girls, “Listen here you plastic bodied wankers! Norbert is the most gorgeous beaver I have ever laid eyes upon, and You Creatures are nothing compared to him! You creatures are nothing but a cold hearted, gold digging, brain dead, fake haired, plastic bodied, cake frosted face of an old disgusting beast! If I can recall the last time your ex texted me, they told me how you'd really look behind that cheap frosting you call makeup!! Nothing but horrid creatures that no man wanted to stay with! You girls are nothing but the sun! Always burning my eyes whenever I stare at you! You smell far worse than any stench in this world, I'd rather spend an entire night in the dump than be with you! So do yourself a favor and get out of my sight, or I will make sure the world Sees Your Real Face!!!”.

The girls stared at him shocked and backed away. Norbert was astounded and blushing madly at this. His heart raced at the way Rocko's fur stood up in anger and his ears twitching from annoyance. He watched as the girls ran off in tears. Rocko took a deep breath then looked at Norbert, “Are you ok?”. Norbert stared at him and his face grew more red. Heffer, Filburt and Daggett ran to them and cheered for Rocko telling off the girls.

“Geez Rocko, remind me to never mess with you or Norbert!”, Heffer laughed as he pat Rocko's back. Daggett looked at Norbert and laughed, “He's that protective he corrupted Norbert’s mind!”. Filburt laughed and noticed the car gone, “Uhhh fellas?”.

Everyone looked at Filburt, who pointed at the car rolling away. “The car is rolling away.”. Everyone panicked and ran after it and jumped inside and slammed the doors shut. Norbert hadn't noticed that he was on Rocko's lap while everyone was buckled up. Rocko laughed nervously and steered towards home. Norbert was flustered and buried his head in Rocko's neck. “Can't believe you said that to those girls.”, Norbert whispered.

“Creatures Norbert. They're not women at all.”, Rocko smiled while kissing his ears. Once they got home, without wasting any gas, the boys got off and noticed everyone waiting outside. Rocko got out while carrying Norbert bridal style, “Hi ladies.”. The girls cheered that they're finally back together and embraced them in a hug. Mrs. Bighead teared up, “Oh I'm so glad you two are back together!! I knew you two are true lovers!!”. Rocko and Norbert smiled while the girls hugged them and once they pulled away Heffer called out to everyone. “Let's celebrate with dinner!!!”. Everyone went inside and sat down to eat their food that the boys bought.

A few hours later

“And that's why she harassed Rocko. Because she wanted me and TreeFlower to be together.”, Norbert said, disappointed. Daggett shook his head, “I told you Karen was a bad lady!! I knew she was a witch that wanted things done Her way!!”. Norbert rolled his eyes, “Yeah yeah Dagge-O you were right. For once.”. Rocko was shocked by this and looked down, “I'm sorry that she convinced me Norbert.. I should've told you in the first place..”. Norbert shook his head fast, “Rocko it wasn't your fault. She's the one that should. Yet I highly doubt it.”.

Mrs. Bighead slammed the table angry, “What if I talk to her. Woman to wretched witch.”. Norbert chuckled, “Now now Bev. I wouldn't want you to get your hands dirty with her filth. We gotta do something that she reaaaaally hates.”. Everyone thought about it and an idea struck. They all looked at Rocko smirking. Rocko felt nervous at this, “Uhhh why are you all staring at me?”.

“Do we really have to do this?!”, Rocko yelled embarrassed. He was mounting over Norbert with his white shirt unbuttoned while Norbert’s flannel was unbuttoned as well. Mrs. Bighead nodded while aiming the camera at them, “Yes sweetie. That witch is going to hate this so much she'll definitely stop bothering you. Trust me darling I know what to do.”. Rocko looked down at a smirking Norbert and then looked at everyone around them.

“Does everyone have to be here too?!”, Rocko asked while feeling very self conscious. Doctor Hutchison waved her hook, “Don't worry sweetie we're here to give better lighting and make this more entertaining. This will definitely give her a heart attack!”. She laughed out loud and Filburt smiled at her lovingly, “Yeah. And she'll take care of the rest too.”.

Norbert was smiling up at Rocko and wrapped his arms around his neck, “Come on Wall-Flower. Show me how much you miss me. It's just for one picture and we'll go back to gossiping about the creatures from the black lagoon and the wicked witch of the west.”. Rocko laughed at the nicknames for the girls and Karen. He soon kissed Norbert and felt his chest rub against his. It felt great to feel his soft lips against his again. It felt like a breath of fresh air. Finally getting water after a few weeks without any. He then starts deepening the kiss, surprising Norbert. Norbert clutched his back and wrapped his legs around Rocko's waist and moaned a bit. Goodness it's been so long to feel this, it honestly feels like this is their first time! Rocko then nibbled his neck, earning a small moan from the beaver, and smirked. He bit it hard and Norbert arched his back, “R-Rocko!!”.

“Rocko! We're done!!!”, Mrs. Bighead yelled as she fanned her face. “We want to scare her off, not kill her!”. Rocko pulled away from a flustered beaver. They both were out of breath, then Rocko got up and looked away embarrassed. “S-Sorry. Got carried away.”. Norbert was covering his beet red face, smiling, while unwrapping his legs.

“That's ok Rocko, I've seen worse.”, Heffer said as he ate some more chips. Rocko looked at him confused but didn't want to ask. Mrs. Bighead then held up the pictures and smirked, “Got all the good ones so all we need to do is wrap them up and have Norbert's friend send it to her.”. Norbert looked at her, “Can you save me some copies? I want to keep this as a memory.”. Rocko looked at him flustered, “Norb!”.

Norbert laughed, “What? Would you want some too if it was the other way around?”. Rocko felt his face flush more and looked away. Norbert smirked, while buttoning up his shirt, “I rest my case.”. Everyone laughed and went back downstairs, where Daggett and Rachel were taking care of Spunky. “If you're going to show the pictures, I'm not gonna look. I don't want to see my brother getting all nasty with Rocko.”, Daggett said disgustedly. Norbert laughed at this, “Wasn't going to show you anyways Dag. These are for the witch. Daggett laughed evilly, “Can't wait to hear the loud screeching noises from her.

Everyone laughed at this and sat down on the couch to watch some movies. Rocko and Norbert sat together on the chair holding each other close. Never letting go. Spunky jumped on their laps and nuzzled them. Happy to have his dad's back together. Norbert smiled while scratching his head and lay his head on Rocko's shoulder. Rocko kissed his head and continued watching the movie with him.

Epilogue

Daggett set the last chair for himself and sat down with everyone. They all waited patiently for TreeFlower to tell them that she's opening the letter. Norbert was on the phone with her until she finally spoke up.

“She's opening it!”, TreeFlower said excitedly through the phone. Norbert smiled wide, “She's opening it!! Everyone be quiet!!!”.

Everyone grew quiet for a moment.

“AAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

They all laughed hearing the screech of the witch from miles away. They fell off their chairs laughing so hard they couldn't stop. “Oh my squiggly spooch!!!!”, Daggett cried out and laughed harder. Rocko was laughing while holding Norbert for support. TreeFlower was laughing in her home dropping the binoculars on the floor.

Finally got rid of that witch.

#crackship #rocko's modern life #angry beavers #rockbert #headcanon #hurt/comfort #a bit suggestive

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sapphic-squids · 1 year

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my list of words/phrases ive read to describe 'the bits' in fanfiction💞💞

All of these I have read in fanfiction and novels. Enjoy!

• Member

• Phallus

• Cock

• Length

• Pecker

• Willy

• Manhood

• Schlong

• Wood

• Tool

• Shaft

• Staff of life

• Tunnel of love

• Vertical bacon sandwich

• Dong

• Twinkie

• Pocket rocket

• Danger noodle

• One eyed wonder weasel

• Sausage

• Joystick

• Beef whistle

• Wang

• Disco stick

• Meat sword

• Trouser snake

• Firehose

• Third leg

• Flesh flute

• Excalibur

• Love stick

• Baby maker

• Meat popsicle

• Pickle

• Wanker

• Love shaft

• Pink cigar

• (Plump) Pussy

• Fanny

• Flower

• Twat

• Hole

• Box

• Penis fly trap

• Bean

• Front bottom

• Lady garden

• Beef curtains

• Canal

• Flower

• Nub

• Slit

• Her core

• Groin

• Her center

• Apex of her thighs

• Her moisture

• Mound

• Entrance

• Cooter

• Penis garage

• Penis glove

• Cock pocket

• Cum dumpster

• Sperm bottle

• Coinpurse

• Hot pocket

• Sausage wallet

• Pandoras box

• Rosebud

• Flesh tuxedo

• Snake charmer

• Meat sleeve

• Honey pot

• South mouth

• Sweaty love box

• Lesbian lunch box

• Erection correction trench

• Candy stick

• Picturesque pecker

• Gigglestick

• Rigid length

• Love dart

• Soaked folds

• Her wettness

• (Wet) Netherlips

• Glistening snatch

• Thick petals

• Inner flower

• Throbbing pearl

• Juicy flesh

• Engorged button

• Her lovely flower

• Delicate love tunnel

• Her virgin tightness

• Her tight passage

• His endowment

• His weapon

• Thick and veiny girth

• Moss covered stone

• Entrancing lump

• Zesty meat sandwich

• Love cavern

• Woodpecker holster

• Fish stick platter

• PB&J sandwich

• Warm apple pie

• Pickle jar

• Her prize

• The crease

• Her walls

• Tight hole

• Sensitive lips

• Feminine core

• Boner garage

• Fleshy folds

• Pink, nectar covered treasure

• Her channel

• Her canal

• Slick nethers

• Quivering hole

• Soaking blossom

• Swollen heat

• Rigid appendage

• Sexy marsupial pouch

• Sensual canoe

• Pink silk

• Pretty little bunny

• Panty hampster

• Fluids

• Her essence

• His seed

• Juices

• Nectar

• Hot seed

• Love juice

• Their essence

• Glistening liquid

• Release

• Climax

• Slick

• Moisture

• Honey

• Honeyed cum

• Hot load

• Thick, potent load

• Cunny

• Silk

• Nub of pleasure

• Her modesty

• Her heat

• Fleshy pillar

• Potent impregnator

• Velvet covered rod/steel

• Strong hot meat rocket

• Third forearm

• Bologna pony

• Carnal pole

• Yogurt slinger

• His excitement

• Truth bullet

• Body worm

• Sonic screwdriver

• Her node

• Decedent dewey rose

• Pubic mound

• Tight passage

• Wet cannon

• Delicate dermis

• His mass

• Instrument of satisfaction

• Her abyss

• Potent sweetener

• Clenching flesh

• Center or pleasure

• Ever burning dumpster fire

• Like an elderly mans mouth

• A swamp as misty as the florida everglades

• Sensual canoe

• Pretty little bunny

• Lady business

• Beaver

• Dam

• Banana bowl

• Monkey hammock

• Black hole of happiness

• Fish taco

• Kitty cat cavern

• Panting puppy dog

• Velvet muscles

• Stoic walls

• Upper/lower walls

• Molten seed

• Radiating heat

• Her seam

• Flute

• Honeyed center

• Sticky pool

• Cupcake

• Cherry tips of her breasts

• Wet hearth of slick heat

• Dripping depths

• Tight orfice

• Tight glove

• Center of pleasure

• Erotic juices

• Unholy sight

• Petal

• Sensitive intimacy

• Stiff mounds (in reference to female breasts)

• Mound of venus

• Her intimacy

• Wet spot

• Deliciously wet region

• Her anticipation

• Muff

• Wet mass

• Thick love

• Tentacles

• Dessert

• Mounds of her breasts

• Gentlemans/man sword

• Vagagool

• Soaking wet apex

• Damp warmth

• Warmth of her dampness

• Enticing wetness

• Second cavern

• Flaccid meat of his penis

• Potent desire

• Intimate site

• Gushing pussy

• Man cave

• Dude ditch

• Gentlemans gorge/cavern

• Princess wand

• Chamber of secrets

• Innie/outie

• Void

• Male box

• Manhole

• Junk bin

• Man canyon

• Lady stick

• Slick heat

• Her hood

• Hot viscous liquid

• Swollen bud

• Most wonderful inner spot

• Excited nipple

• Supple, heavy mounds

• Clenching flesh

• Jostling boobs

• Shell pink lips

• Fruit

• Channel of nerves

• Eager warmth

• Special spot

• Her sanctuary

• Susceptible spot

• Sensitive button

• Her secrecy

• Prized destination

• Brown nobs

• Her destination

• Tender region

• Salty wetness

• Inner walls

• Warm wet walls

• Juicy hamburgers

• Feral gerbil

• Trunk

• Vienna sausage and tater tots

• Polish sausage

• Lolipop

• Front door

• Rear exit

• Hot rod of velvet thunder

• No no space

• Dough

• Mold of gelatin

• Girlish flesh

• Down there

• Her virtue

• Her box

• Thst lady business

• Beaver/dam

• Yogurt dispenser

• Pulsing tower

• Ripe (pussy)

• Perfect piece of fruit

• His spend

• His graduated cylinder

• Her bunsen burner

• Slick nethers

• Spotted gecko the size of a forearm

• Velvet wrapped electric thunder

• Hot white bangle tiger

• Long venomous cobra

• Little spelunker

• Pulsating thickness

• Hot wet flesh

• Swamp gator

• Rounded fruit

• Soft rounded pearls

• Juice

• Fuzzy muppet

• Sopping wet cavern

• Rabid chinchilla

• Sweet and salty little knob

• Electric charge thunder wagon

• Squeaky like a dog toy (penis)

• Gobbler wobbler

• His Charlie

• Meat box

• Two breaded fishsticks

• A loose trashbag flowing in the wind

• Slippery coinslot

• Heat guided missile

• My princess parts

• Lady canal

• Man monster

• Hotdog bun

• Dangly bits

• Her yawning hungry portal

• Arching rainbow

• Mountainous region

• Your foothills

• Slock channel

• Man root

• Sweet wet box of lust

• Lush and alluring forest of her lowlands

• Caber

• The organ stuffed painfully in his pants throbbed and begged

• Her marble

• Chocolate milk

• Purple headed warrior

• Sweater puppies

• Velvet haven

• Fuck pocket

• Glistening paradise

• Valley

• Throbbing tor

• The moon of my thighs

• Flowery garden

• Her gate

• Little lady/man

• His 11th finger

• Moist beef whistle

• His "terms and conditions"

• His wand of awesomeness

• Kid making cucumber

• Murder weapon

• Big boi

• Dingledong

• Raw wand

• Rocket launcher

• Electricity pole

• Fairy staff

• Birdy

• His empire state building

• His glowstick

• Little brother

• Blaze rod

• Tootsie roll

• His pump

• Dangling participle

• Pussfied hole

• His girthy cock

• Thoroughly flustered and wet parts

• Weight and steel of him

• Velvet helmet

• Weeping entrance

• Full, smooth dome

• Intimate muscles

• Sensitive button

• Hot channel

• Dewey folds

• Under lips

• His warm gift

• Glue

• The flesh of mankind

• Hung like pomegranates

• Little corn cob

• Pecan soaked in maple syrup

• Salty release

• Fleshy canyon

• Fluted petsls

• Layonaise

• Sweet rain

• Ducal phallus

• Perfectly tailored flesh tuxedo with its matching ascot

• Inverted hampster

• An open wound on the body that was never actually healed

• Weeny wrangler

• Wet and slippery eel

• An angry putple bunch of grapes

• Velvet wrapped super sausage

• Group of fingers that would open up and spread out once inside

• Beautiful box full of my favorite pink meats

• Medusa

• Meow maker

• Wilted asparagus stalk

• His own little velveteen rabbit

• Cute little button with eyes

• Delicious fish stick of love

• Panty dropping debt collector

• Happy fun time zone

• Velvety fuzz box

• Life giving cave of wonders

• Eves original doorway to sin

• Swollen pieces of pepperoni

• Hot puncture

• Her hot tissues

• Pump action Yogurt rifle

• Ham cucumber

• Fuckpole

• Her honey

• Pouting lips of her cunt

• Love torpedo

• Meatball sub

• Killer cobra

• Hot frothy milk canon

• Supple heavy mounds

• Womanly hills

• Large fleshy hills

• Cute sensitive hill

• Pink nectar covered treasure

• Unveiled twitching pebble

• Wobbly lady flaps

• Moistened girls lips

• Chunky cottage cheese

• Lucious taco supreme

• Snail trap

• Vegetarian lasagna

• Pickled herring (felt, tasted, smelled like)

• Remote holder

• Papaya

• Eggplant

• Banana

• Pickle

• Love truncheon

• Squish mitten

• Sacred starfish

• Gummy cave

• Swollen tissues

• Sopping clamshell

• Velvet snuffbox

• Tuna tunnel

• Fortune cookie

• The devils doorbell

• Frothy beef flaps

• Harder than a lobster

• Flounder flaps

• Orgasmic chamber

• Ham candle

• Sinful seam

• Salmon companion

• Breeding stick

• Painted mound

• Secret bedroom

• Her fertile fields

• Unfurling chrysanthemum (butthole)

• Quivering flesh vacuum

• Leech mouth without teeth

• Pink room

• Glostick of destiny

• Magical life giving door

• Radioactive crisco

• Blackened salmon

• Delicious cheese curds

• Velvet coinpurse

• Fully loaded fruit basket

• Her ripened avocado

• Her tempurpedic body pillow

• Hungry swollen loins

• Little garbage disposal

• Mamas sugary vanilla latte

• The baby conga line

• Lightly fried fish filets

• Glowing pearls

• Slick passageway

• Clam hammer

• Lustful south

• Tortured open flesh

• Honeyed satisfaction

• Her doorbell

• Anazing hills of soft flesh

• Glorious hills of muscle

• Lemon flavored popsicle

• Swatter

• Garlic and herb breadstick

• Pogo stick

• Petaling lips

• Pearly fluid

#lesbian fanfiction #korrasami fanfiction #fandom #fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic smut #smut #genitals #euphemisms #fanfic is how i cope #fandoms

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oxnardsart · 1 year

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I made lil bots of my characters people can chat with and interact with. You can be sorta weird and kinky with them but it's tricky so I have some notes at the top. Good luck and have fun and maybe I'll make some more!

Link HERE

#character bots #don badge #sweaty beaver #etc #chris is there but isn't showing in the thumb

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aquariumdrunkard · 2 years

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Funky Crudités https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5SLG5PBpf2nTsMtd4YYIbT?si=c46f4fbb413c463d

Intro ++ Larry Ellis – Funky Thing, Pt. 1 ++ Jake Wade & The Soul Searchers – Searching For Soul, Pt. 1 ++ Little Beaver – Funkadelic Sound ++ Chicago Gangsters – Why Did You Do it? ++ Wayne Carter & Organ Twisters – Wahoo, Wahoo, Wahoo ++ Carleen & The Groovers – The Thing ++ J.D.S. – Funky Party Time ++ Elmer & Brenda Parker – Got To Get Back To Louisiana ++ Apple & The Three Oranges – Curse Upon The World ++ Shelley Fisher – I’ll Leave You Girl ++ Michael Liggins & The Super Souls – Loaded Back ++ Detroit Sex Machines – Rap It Together ++ Soap – I Just Want To Celebrate ++ Bad Medicine – Trespasser ++ Odetta – Hit Or Miss ++ The Soul Lifters – Hot, Funky And Sweaty ++ Eddie Bo & Inez Cheatham – Lover And A Friend ++ Essence – Fever (Instrumental) ++ Nina Simone – Funkier Than A Mosquito’s Tweeter ++ Eugene Blacknell – Gettin’ Down ++ The Mighty Imperials – Jody’s Walk ++ Mickey & The Soul Generation – Get Down Brother ++ Tony Owens – I Got Soul ++ Ike Turner & The Kings of Rhythm – Getting Nasty ++ Charles Wright & The Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band – Do Your Thing ++ The Monterreys – Get Down ++ Nina Simone – Be My Husband (Live, 1987) ++ Terry Callier – You Goin’ Miss Your Candyman ++ Whitefield Brothers – Rampage ++ Karl Hector & The Malcouns – Mystical Brotherhood ++ Merle Saunders & Jerry Garcia – Keepers ++ Joel Vandroogenbroeck – Rocks ++ Howard Wales – Karnaval ++ Funkadelic – Biological Speculation

#aquariumdrunkard #funk

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cestfromage · 3 months

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Busy beaver

I do not like waking up to an alarm. I am so out of practice with it that it makes me anxious and I don’t sleep well. Last night in fact, I was so stressed out that I had a really, really sweaty dream and woke up around 3 am thinking that it was in fact closer to 6:30 am. Sigh. It wasn’t, obviously. So I went back to sleep. After I navigated myself away from the massive sweat spot in the middle…

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borderlineconfessional · 4 months

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Searching the eyes of the strangers we meet. Asking will it get better? Will we be alone?

I remember standing at the screen door, itchy and hot, crying as I watched my dad drive away. My first memory, one of feeling left behind. It was a hot July evening, and my night shirt rubbed roughly against my chicken pox, itchy, sticking to my back. I remember my hair was pasted to my forehead, sweaty with fever, with summer heat. He drove away in the big green car, like he always did, and I stayed behind.

That same summer, standing on my bed, watching everyone play soccer in the field. Again in my pajamas, this time supposed to be asleep. It was light out, why should I be asleep? My second memory, a feeling of injustice, of unfairness, watching them play as the sun dipped behind the houses.

Do our oldest memories shape us? Do I have such strong core beliefs of justice and inclusion because I've held the absence of them in my heart since before I had the words to describe them? Do I expect unfairness, injustice, abandonment and exclusion? Am I a self fulfilling prophecy?

She told me 1-2-3 hold your breath. Cold, but held tightly in the dark. Fear, distrust, but also wonder and excitement. She never swam, she never so much as dipped a toe into the lake, but she held me tightly as I burned with fever and she lowered us into the cool water, under a sky filled with stars. My third memory, one of conflicting feelings of distrust and love. I can hear her voice so clearly, see the stars so brightly, the poplars trembling in the wind. Poplar leaves in the breeze will always sound like summer. They fill me with a nostalgic love that makes my heart ache.

A vast, snowy expanse, straw colored stalks and brush along the shore, drifts of snow piling in seemingly random spots on the ice. Boys laughing, whooping and hollering, a small girl's voice joining in. I'm far away, the snow deep and my boots heavy, hand-me-downs, the wrong size. My hair in my face, hat falling off as I hurry to catch up. I reach the beaver dam they had been climbing, but they've gone on ahead. I catch my breath and resolve to make my own games, make my own fun. I pretend I'm a wolf, stalking around the dam. I pretend I'm living hundreds of years ago, when our people lived alone, and beavers were food and clothing. I laugh and shout. I watch birds fly overhead, hear the creaking of the ice, the crunch of the snow beneath my feet. I remember marveling at the beauty. The silence then makes me realize I actually am alone. My fourth memory, of being forgotten, left behind, tinged with conflicting feelings of awe and feeling small in a big beautiful world. I remember being cold, having snow in my boots melting into my socks, wet mittens that smelled like dust. The sky bright with a blanket of winter clouds, the dogwood branches red against the straw colored stalks of rushes, impossibly beautiful. Feeling so infinitesimal. But also like I was being let in on a secret, one meant for me, lonely little me. I can close my eyes and see it all like it was a moment ago. My chest tightens at the memory, a confusion of overwhelming awe and feeling hollow, forgotten.

Strong emotions make the strongest memories.

#actually borderline #avoidant personality disorder #borderline personality disorder #bpd thoughts #actually bpd #avoidant pd #bpd feels #borderline pd

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coupletandbarnes-carpetcleaning · 5 months

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After the festivities and food abuse that comes with the silly season. me and my identical twin brother are back doing what we do best in the best city in the world Brighton East Sussex. This particular call out was booked in to clean a gentleman’s upholstery bang centre in the middle of the lanes. If anyone is familiar with Brighton you will also know that parking is horrendous but the parking gods where smiling on us today as we managed to pinch the last spot on the entire road. Traffic enforcement agents where out in droves and the last visit we had on the coast ended in a very unwelcome parking fine. Having on been gone for a literal minute on double yellows. Im sure he hears that daily and on that occasion he wasn’t buying it…lesson learned so this time where taking no chances! Ticket slapped on the window and where good to go.

We unloaded our machine from the back of the van having to walk approximately 150 yards back and fourth hose and chemicals in hand catching puzzled looks on the way. Once unloaded we knocked the door the chap opened up and was delighted to see that we are identical twins. He had a twin story to tell as most people do oh my sister has twin boys he states asking us if we can read each other’s minds or have we ever swapped girlfriends to which i jokingly replied we are actually quadruple brothers and the other two where on there way over. after the novelty of having identical twins in his lounge he left us to it.

First part of the process: was to conduct a fibre test on the upholstery experience told me this particular suite was a fine fabric and needed to be treated with the appropriate chemicals and process. A small splash of water on an inconspicuous part of the fabric hand drying to see if the fibre stiffens and distorts wet cleaning will be off the agenda a few minutes pass and I begin to towel off my gut feeling was right time to vlm < industry lingo meaning very low moisture.

A pre vacuum to extract the dry soiling, hair, dust and crumbs. Crevice tool for the sides… old pound coins a plaster and a lot of chocolate wrappers where the surprises found deep down the back of the sofa someone has a sweet-tooth I thought to myself and considering the old coins where phased out in 2017 It’s certainly time for a deep-clean.

Vacuum done it’s time to apply our pre-treatment spray the choice of weapon is njords kraken specifically designed for this type of fabric. The brain child of a young guy from Manchester his premium chemicals have taken the cleaning world by storm everyone in the industry raves about his product and we are no exception. ( hence to shout out in the post ) 15 minutes to dwell more than enough time to break up the soiling and grease on the arms and chaise. Fine fabrics are notoriously hard to clean but with the correct training techniques and knowledge great results can be achieved the motto we use is always under promise and over deliver with a scratch of the chin and a rub of the heard I told the client we will try our best and see what we can do.

Hand held orbital machine with oscillating bonnet pad is our next step a quick click of the switch and we are cooking with gas! before my very eyes I can see the dirt lift with each and every pass. Whilst I’m cleaning my brother Aaron has the task of loading the van with the heavy machinery we needlessly hand balled out of the van and walked what seemed miles because we didn’t need any of it!! That will teach us for being such eager beavers… always test then unload is our new way of being. by the time he’s finally loaded up the wagon I’m now finished you forgot something i said holding the small vlm machine which you could fit in your pocket sweaty and red faced he snatched it off me and huffed his way back down the road to put it back. I know what’s in store for me on the next appointment lifting and shifting duties 😔

Final phase: set the pile using a clean terry towel and horse hair bush. The white cloth services a double purpose bushing out any lines or distortions whilst checking for any dirt transfer from upholstery to cloth a quick hold up to the light sparkling clean not a spec of soiling on the cloth 🧼 a spray of njord cherry bomb deodoriser 🍒 and we are done ( the lad from Manchester also has a premium deodoriser range ) and if it where to be made into an aftershave it would almost certainly be replacing my over used blue stratos… joke I’m 29 I use brut 🌸

Client was stunned on how clean his upholstery looks saying he was more than prepared for a whole new suite and this was a final ditch attempt to save him some cash 💵 big tip happily received smiles all round with a parking fine avoided we are back on the road not before handing a business card!

Past the scenic Brighton pavilion I demand Aaron pull over for a photo opportunity bang in the middle of the bus lane hazards on i snap a picture we dive back into the van (literally) and cruise back down the a27 to Chichester West Sussex.

To summarise our day

saved the client a small fortune on replacement which gives both myself and Aaron huge job satisfaction. (It is the happy shocked face that does it for me)

Didn’t get a parking ticket.

We burnt off the Christmas calories after pounding the chocolate and pigs in blankets. (Aaron burned more than me his whole time was spent lifting shifting and moaning)

Being in Brighton is an instant mood boost for me and it’s a area we heavily cover. all be it it has been a while. But it was nice to be back all sorts styles and trends it’s a crazy town with crazy people ( in a good way )

big tip ( always nice )

Cool picture taken ( for the Facebook page )

Ohhhhhhh happppyyyyy daaaaaayyyyysssss ⭐️

http://www.cbcleaningsolutions.co.uk

#family #brighton #clean #chichester

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