hi my dear bitches bastards non binary hoes

i dont know if anyone has thought of this yet but i finished spn last night and well yeah

SO cas' true moment of happiness is in being, right? he said to dean 'i heard your prayer' cuz he knew that if dean said something, he'll be taken away at the wrong time. we know this.

but what if? what if the moment cas says 'goodbye dean' and pushes him out of the way, THE moment his bloody hand stains the green army jacket, dean doesn't just moves? he anchors his feet down. by now, cas' tears are streaming down his face because the empty is here, he sees the black goo coming out the wall and dean, still beautiful, still dean winchester, is here and he. won't. move.

but cas is happy. he finally admitted it but then dean surges forward pulling cas in by the trenchcoat and kisses the life out of him. and cas is happy. he's so fucking happy. and then it's followed by instant fucking regret because dean feels the same. cas has known for a while (by a while i mean 12 years) but he admitted it, actually made a move. but then it's immediately followed by 'i'll have to leave him. again.' it's followed by regret. everything has turned to shit and this he knows.

but the empty is here. and billie is right there but cas is no longer happy. because he knows he can't have dean in this sense. it's pure sorrow, regret, longing. and the Empty stays true to its word.

It takes Billie and leaves these two idiots together. "So that's what you meant in Purgatory?" Dean whispers.

this is basically it.

Does anyone ever think about how Jensen knew this was the last time Dean would get to hug Cas when he filmed it?

It’s destiel o’clock

and won't you please give me some decency?

Ok so. "Why does this sound like a goodbye?" Was fucking heartbreaking, right; we have the full-on uninterrupted eye contact, the head tilt, Dean's already open mouth twitching before the scene cuts to Cas' "I love you," like he had more to say, but Cas beats him to the punch. It's great, we love that. But for the dialogue to be sequenced that way, and to have Dean reply with, "don't do this, Cas."

I'm only just realizing how fucking insane it was. And sure, I might just be coping here, at the end of the day who fucking knows, but look at it. Think about it. Now let yourself feel it all over again.

It's Dean's death knocking on the door behind Cas, and it's Cas' death emerging behind Dean. Like this, they're directly facing their own demise—but they're too stuck on each other, in their moment, to give a damn. And then Dean doesn't say, "I love you too." He says, "don't do this."

He isn't disgusted or ashamed or put off in the slightest by Cas' confession, because if he is then why is he on the verge of tears? In what world would it make sense for him to want to cry after his best friend confessed to him, if the confession was something he did not want. He says don't do this here, don't do this to me now.

Even if, and that's the most unlikely if to ever exist, Dean did not reciprocate Cas' feelings—don't do this is still so fucking powerful. Because Dean's connected the dots, happiness [...] is in just saying it, and Cas said it, so where does that lead Dean? That's right, with Cas dead again, trying to save him again.

Don't do this. Don't die for me, don't love me only to die for me, don't love me at all, just stay with me.

Don't let me watch you die again and not even let me follow you—because, at the very least, that was a consolation. She's gonna kill you, which Dean knows that Billie knows will hurt him more than his own death, and then she's gonna kill me.

"Don't do this," was actually so fucking powerful, I don't know how it slipped past me until now...

seeing the y yo a ti version of this moment only makes you realize how incredibly tender and intensely romantic Dean's expression was when he said "don't do it Cas"

GIF CREDIT: @sunglassesmish

Ah lads not again

Cas went out to get milk

A little fanart for today's anniversary

okay but what if dean couldn't say i love you back to castiel in the dungeon is because dean was sooo embarrassed he thought cas was straight all those years so every memory where he wrongfully assumed castiel's sexuality came flooding back and then the pizzaman montage played on repeat a few times

"I can fix him" this "I can make him worse" that Pathetic. I can love him so much that it changes the course of the entire narrative

X

01/04/23

despair  the complete loss or absence of hope

reply to be added to the tag list

NOTE: in one of my classes we had to do a presentation about a story so of course i chose to make it about spn. li had to also make a poster but ofc i couldn’t be chill about it. so for anyone interested, here’s the original version:

also a close up:

If they ever release The Tapes and it turns out there was a destiel kiss just know that I’ll be redrawing that shit from all the different angles and perspectives like I’m shooting an overdramatic soap opera.

I Watch the bees

baby boy