#studying more like dying
Text
was so excited to start studying about bones in med school but i didn't realize i have to learn every single margin and prominence :')
#med school#medicine#general medicine#student#studying#bones#osteology#productive life#being productive#productivity#productive#studyblr#stu(dying)#study aesthetic#study motivation#anatomy#stu dying#studying more like dying
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Diversity win! The reincarnating megalomaniac obsessed with the Main-Character™ is genderqueer!
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#yoo joonghyuk#kim dokja#orv manhwa#orv#nirvana moebius#i don't think i necessarily need to tag spoilers b/c these panels aren't like showing someone dying or getting a new power or anything?#but idk#I'm only like halfway through that arc and they seem to just be yet another monster of the week character that's more scary than the last#ao their existence and existence of characters like them aren't really like /true/ spoilers if that makes any since?#i think#they are an interesting character though just not a terribly world ending one (yet at least)#can't believe i read almost 160 manhua cahpters over the past two days instead of writing essays & studying for finals 😅😔
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Matsuura-san’s parent died… Hikaru’s parent also died… having your parent die… is bad.”
Thank god we’ve got Yoshiki here, modern philosopher of our time, to drop this wisdom upon us. Surely this grand conclusion, which required a whole flashback to come to, will have an impact on how Yoshiki views death going forward- oh wait, lol what am I saying? Of course it’s not!
#It took so much to come to the coldest take I’ve ever seen#Like Yoshiki pulled this straight out of the fridge ‘hikaru’ put Matsuura in#And he somehow got less empathetic after this point#At the point that /‘Hikaru’/ is the one going ‘should we care about this person dying?’#And Yoshiki is going ‘nah. We’ve got a research project to do’#Smth has definitely changed#I hope this obsession with the research project is like- an actual thing#Maybe like Yoshiki is experiencing that same emptiness ‘hikaru’ feels on a daily basis but he doesn’t know what would fill it#So he’s just seeking out and taking in as much information as he can because learning has always been an escape for Yoshiki#Like being smart is Yoshiki’s way out of the village. Every time Tokyo is brought up it’s almost always in reference to his intelligence#So learning more has always been Yoshiki’s solution to things. ALSO Yoshiki is actually obsessed w/ this research project#He thinks about it while he’s in class- while he’s studying outside of class- while his friends are all talking-#You can probably count on two hands the amount of times Yoshiki talks about smth other than the research project post volume 3#It’s actually concerning#hikaru ga shinda natsu#the summer hikaru died#hgsn#hgsn spoilers#my hgsn shit#It doesn’t have to be because he’s becoming more like ‘hikaru’#I’d just like for that plot point to come up again and be like a driving force for why Yoshiki acts the way he does#The actual reason will be nothing at all#And instead Yoshiki will revert back to normal when Maki eventually dies#Because Yoshiki is only capable of caring about people he knows the name of
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Messing around with the new CSP brush blending features. Sort of a color study of this photograph of a 1999 HOS garage kit by Nakayama Eiji.
#my stuff#guilty gear#sol badguy#order sol#I'm DYING for that garage kit to ship you have no idea#Sorta cranked the undersketch for this one out in like 10 minutes but with how long it took to paint I wish I had put more effort into it..#Oh well it was just a study/sketch anyway
176 notes
·
View notes
Text
#98
“And lo! Here approaches my best knight,” the king announces to the jester as the knight squeezes through the door. The poor jester looks thankful to see her as he hurries out of the king’s gaze. “Come, show me your skill.”
The knight throws a few carefully angled swings for the king. He watches with a delighted expression, but she can see the soullessness in his eyes. Her stomach flips uncertainly.
“You are an excellent swordsman, knight,” he says flatly. “Now, tell me, why should I allow you to stay within my walls?”
The jester averts his gaze awkwardly. Is she about to get fired? “… Because I’m an excellent swordsman and your best knight,” she tries, and the king huffs in his telltale way of saying WRONG.
“Perhaps that was on me for being unspecific.” He picks up a wine glass from the golden table next to his throne, swirling it idly. “I hear you liaise with dragons.”
The knight’s attempt to keep her expression neutral fails miserably. The king watches with keen interest as her eyes widen and her mouth moves in an abysmal attempt to form some sort of defence. She’s acutely aware of the jester watching curiously too—whatever she says next will be the castle’s gossip for the next month. Maybe two if nothing of interest happens before then.
Well shit. Might as well fall into treason headfirst.
She reaches a hand into the front of her breastplate, earning a soft squeak from something inside. The king leans forward on his throne. The jester peers as close as he dares.
Her hand comes back with a short purple string laced around her fingers. Or she does at first glance, and closer inspection reveals her ribbon to be a tiny dragon, yawning and digging tiny claws into her fingers.
The king roars so loud the dragon startles. The knight and the jester don’t fare much better. “Beast!” he howls.
“Beast! Beast! Beast! Beast!” the room echoes back to them.
“You bring this creature within my walls?” he demands. “You slander my name—my rule—with your disregard to my kindness for you?”
“She’s harmless!” the knight cries over him. The dragon isn’t a fan of the racket, and is making a great effort to slip up her sleeve. “She looks after my finances.”
“Disgusting beast,” the king spits.
“The dragon,” the jester says quietly, valiantly ignoring the way the king’s stare snaps to him, “is your accountant?”
The knight fishes a coin from her pouch, gently tapping the dragon with its edge. Its gaze snaps to her gold, its past endeavour with her sleeve forgotten as it grapples for her coin. It twists its body around it excitedly, gnawing at the edge like a toddler, a quiet hum emitting from it as it does.
“That noise it is making,” the king shrieks, “it is going to attack!”
“No!” the knight shouts over him. “It’s like a cat—she’s purring. It means she’s happy.”
“Dragons do not purr,” the king retorts, but the dragon is undeniably making a noise that sounds remarkably like purring. The jester takes a cautious step closer.
The knight tucks her finger under her chin, giving it a hearty scratch. The dragon’s humming gets louder, her eyes closing blissfully at the touch.
“How does it… work?” the jester asks. The knight offers him a smile that she hopes conveys how grateful she is for his interest in the face of the king’s disgust.
“She takes my coins—my salary, my earnings, anything.” The knight adjusts her hand so the dragon sits more comfortably in her palm. She doesn’t seem to mind, too busy clamping her jaw around the gold to notice. “She keeps a hoard no one but her can find. I earned her trust, and whenever I need money she gives it to me.”
“She is a thief,” the king spits, but the rage is losing momentum in the face of such a cute little thing. The knight doesn’t miss how she’s suddenly not an ‘it’.
“I give her all the money she has. She’s just better at keeping money than most humans,” the knight says with a grin, “because she doesn’t spend it all in a tavern.”
The jester snorts. The king raises his eyebrows. Silence falls for a moment as they all watch the dragon get comfortable in the knight’s hand, her tiny body choking her coin, a claw wrapped around her thumb as she nestles in and closes her eyes.
The jester lets out a short “aww,” that’s louder than he probably intended.
“Tsch,” the king says. He leans back in his throne like he’s lost interest. “A beast is a beast. I am most displeased you were disloyal to my word, knight.”
“I apologise, your majesty,” the knight says. It’s all she can say, really. “I will fix things.”
“You… may keep the thing,” the king continues after a moment of intense deliberation. The knight attempts to not to look too surprised. The jester doesn’t even try. “But it is your accountant and nothing more. If I discover it torching my palace I will execute both it and you.”
“Accounting is what she’s best at, your majesty,” the knight says brightly. “You’ll never have to see her again.”
The king nods shortly, though his gaze is traitorously locked onto the purple ball in her hand. “I would not be adverse, knight,” the king says slowly, like he doesn’t quite want to, “if you felt it right to study. We did not know dragons purr, or like coin.”
“Your majesty?”
“Gather your resources and come back to me with knowledge of the beasts.” He waves a hand dismissively. “I will reconsider your treasonous actions if you can prove that your creature poses no threat to my rule or my people.”
A lot of questions are rattling through her brain. “Your majesty, what do—”
“That is all. Jester!” The king turns his attention away from her and back to the jester as he takes centrestage, looking a lot less stressed than before. He gives her a subtle nod and the lightest smile—a small gesture between the servants of the castle, a simple well done.
The knight leaves the hall with the king’s uproaring laughter following her. The dragon stays curled in her hand, and she runs her thumb over it carefully, the dragon’s body warm and prickly to the touch.
A knight to a scholar in one conversation. She doesn’t even know how to write.
#creative writing#writblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writing community#fantasci writing#fantasy writing#guess who got covid for the third fukn time#3????????? 3. 3 whole ass times#now. i know some people will not care about this. i know my coworkers sure dont#but i have seen the studies. chances of risk higher the more you get it etc etc#and on the first day i honestly felt like ASS and i still do!! ive had today off (yeehaw!) cause i feel like im dying!! (not yeehaw!)#wish me luck yall im so goddamn ill and im so goddamn mad about it#ive tried to do a lil writing through it but i aint all there in my head atm#so if i suddenly start posting the weirdest most incoherent stupid shit known to man. i wrote it with covid. sorry
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
i can't believe i come back momentarily from the dead and it's with more cancerous memes. Two versions bc god had other plans, none which included not having both of these.
#hand jumper#juni chang#ishaan cha#where my juni enjoyers at#did i ever mention i was the qpr ishjun guy i probably should've hung that up in a sign as a warning in advance#i don't f around with these bros they're my little guys they're the scunkledoodles#they're everything and i'll actually fight you on them if i see something egregious or slanderous of them#they're my children they're my little DSM-5 case studies they're my little sillies i keep in the petri dish#whether they beat each other up or talk crap is up to sleepacross tho they my only hope#the fp got me acting up i'm on the delulu cocaina i need to be shot#shot down or shot dead pick one just PLEASE end my suffering#WHO IS THE CELL 3 MENTOR JUST END MY SUFFERING INSTEAD OF HOLDING CELL 3 CRUMBS OVER MY HEAD#AND IF ONLY JUNI IS OVERSEEING THEM OR THEY'RE GOING IN UNSUPERVISED I'LL EXPLODE#STRAIGHT UP.#SHOOT ME DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH#sighs#i could've been simping over that one panel of sayeon like everyone else#not the mirror one or the sayjin flirting kismesis ass vacillating btw#you guys should fp just try it i swear you won't regret it#use the magical powers.....#share the burden.........#i as your personal demon that makes rounds around your head approve of this please#consider throwing some coins or 28 for even more brainrot i'm like dying in a corner and WILL die in a corner waiting for tuesday#also i have testing next week too i think hj is just cursed like that#we love to see it though
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#meeting the sociologist/philosopher who flew in from barcelona and got basically no sleep just 2 be on time to our date soon#im wearing the earrings the ex situationship person chose for me. they have 3 sharp metal bits hanging down from them. it feels#cold like a knife and also they make noise whenever i take a step which acts a little like a friend and also a beating. dont forget who cho#for you. do you miss her? do you miss her? when you see his face will you miss her?#im going to look someone else in their eyes today#im going to study with my friend today and tomorrow#i had a call w a friend yesterday . he taught me logic metatheory intensively and he also said this whole experience has been painful for#him and the rest of my friends bc its like watching someone nearly drink cyanide over and over#it made things a bit clearer#he said its like watching a lion get declawed and that i was essentially unrecognisable. something happened to his friend#and he wanted his friend back#so im going to go back.#he said he doesnt mind dying alone. he asked why hes doing philosophy and i said pure love and he said thats true#im supposed to be in love w abstractions more than ppl#and im supposed to be in love w my friends before any romantic partner#ok going up tottenham ct escelators is a religious experience recently bc every time i will either make eye contact w the most beautiful#person ever or be reminded of the way they held me on the way down here or how i held them on the way up#anyway lets go
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
rewatching bbc merlin really has me like buzzing in my mind with so many thoughts. Like I'm kinda watching it backwards atm going from S5 to S4, I think I will jump around 3, 2, and 1 but just,,,, there is so much especially in S5 that makes me !!!!!!!
Honestly, I feel like this fandom has to give the writers more credit. Like they did a damn good job, and to me, it's such a good tragedy. Especially how S5 plays out, it takes everything and just tears you down, and down, and down. It's perfect, perfect with flaws! But still perfect
#bbc merlin#merlin#yeah idk on that note about the writers - this fandom is way too harsh#like i know we all have ideas on how it should have gone#but i think we lose how it's still a story that they planned from the start to end like that#they did their job they set up from the beginning and it is good as a tragedy imo as someone who has studied tragedies#hot take but the characterisations are consistent - i mean like as consistent as they get for a 5 series show#they did better than most and i dont feel like any characters get like their previous characterisation assassinated#that includes Arthur and Morgana btw they clearly have arcs that work well and where Arthur's is a slower progression - Morgana's is like a#lit match - slow at first but when it gets going it's going and then gone - it's wonderful#i mean look at s5 it literally starts by talking about Arthur's bane aka his fatal flaw aka his hamartia#which is himself and i dont think it's as much as the overdone hubris but rather Arthur's love and trust for others - but that like in many#tragedies can be debated#okay something else that can be debated is the peripeteia - i think a good example of it is the Disir episode because that's when Arthur's#fate becomes sealed anything after that point is fruitless because the Triple Goddess has decided he must die because of his rejection of#the Old Religion - it's a reversal of fortune in a sense that Mordred is alive to play his part in Arthur's death - as Merlin puts it. You#could see it more as Merlin's peripeteia rather than Arthur's but still#if we wanna debate it more Arthur's peripeteia would probablyyyy be when Mordred stabs him because that's when his death becomes imminent#it's a reversal of fortune because he's dying from that point forward rather than a strong king he is a man dying#the anagnorisis is another point to make. You could say for Arthur his anagnorisis is all of the finale - like this constant realisation of#Merlin and his magic and realising all that he missed all that he didnt see and now it's too late because he's dying#I'd say Merlin's anagnorisis comes with the whole Mordred and Kara ordeal and how he realises his mistake and how it's gonna cause the#downfall of not just himself but Arthur too#then catharsis - see i think it's the only part where the tragedy falters because do we get catharsis from Arthur's death and Merlin's#immortality - where he's still at the lake centuries later?#i think in some ways yes and in other ways no because I don't think BBC Merlin is following an Aristotle's tragedy#i think catharsis comes more from Morgana's half of the tragedy - seeing her die - and i think further catharsis comes from knowing it's no#over forever that there will be a second chance for redemption for both Merlin and Arthur#but it is a more difficult one for sure#anyway point is that S5 specifically has a tragedy storyline that is very well done and we should credit that more tbh
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Urges to script out a small comic piece as a partial rewrite/reimagining sort for arc 2's epilogue, versus the fact that I will likely never actually finish it...
#I think the peacemaker resolution is actually incredibly interesting#like I know people say it ruined the morals of arc 2 and such but I think it's more fun to meet the narrative where it is like.#really asking the question what does this mean if there is never a chance for the dragon to be turned back?#is this just a type of murder? would people have reacted differently if they had killed darkstalker in a more straightforward manner?#the books like to treat a lot of the magic as a study of a character's relation to identity; e.i tourmaline choosing to become ruby again#because she IS ruby now. we don't get a POV for her so we don't know if she mourns losing her life as tourmaline#but she makes the choice because her life as ruby is much richer. ruby is a mother and tourmaline isn't ruby is queen and tourmaline isn't#I believe tui stated outright that to reverse the peacemaker enchantment would simply result in darkstalker dying altogether#so if there's no way for him to come back...#it's interesting !! it's even more interesting the idea of the after effects on the characters themselves#also I get to live in the reality in which they intend to tell Winter. because god I hate the epilogue for how it shafts him.#they'd tell him !!! they trust him !!! i know this I know them better than Tui did writing that epilogue !!!! believe me please god !!!!#anyway I specifically want to script out a conversation between Kinkajou and Qibli#I think they'd have interesting things to talk about on the matter
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Since one of the careers that Bernard studies is physics these are my headcanons.
-When the finals are approaching, he starts saying the important formulas or concepts out of nowhere. Like he'll be in his apartment, he'll be hugging with Tim on the couch and start reciting the Euler-Lagrange equation, or he's cooking dinner and start reciting the thermodynamics laws.
-Sometimes he will start throwing away scientific facts that he learned in class and found interesting. Like the multiverse or time travel. Tim, even though he has experienced them from first hand and had to know about them to fix some robin situations, he will listen to Bernard with all the love in the world and ask him for more details regardless of whether he already knows them.
-During the exam season Bernard hardly sleeps and his caffeine consuming increases to the point that even Tim is worried but once the last exam is over he will fall asleep a whole day and then come back to normal.
-Sometimes when he leaves class and a concept is very abstract or he doesn't understand how it works, he gets frustrated and will complain to Tim about his decision to study this, but as soon as he understands it, forgets this frustration.
-His main dream of him is to be a chef but it does not mean that he likes what he studies even if it is not what he wants to do for the rest of his life. Also, it gives him a different perspective to make his own recipes
-Lab reports are an ordeal, calculating uncertainty and dispersions is what he hates the most but in the end of the day. Laboratory practices are what he loves most about studying science
-Since he is doing a double major with biology, he likes evolution biology. He was considering doing his thesis describing with complex networks what could be the passage between microscopic and macroscopic life. Or maybe something about medical physics. (Let's not let health science Bernard die since he's no longer an EMT).
#bernard dowd#tim drake#timbern#timber#Yes#I know he wants to be a chef and open his restaurant#but#I think we don't talk enough about him studying basic sciences#More than that#he is studying 2 at the same time and think that most of the subjects don't coincide in the two careers#This guy is my idol#I am dying with just one#ok maybe i'm projecting a bit on bernard But as a physics student this facts just can make me love the character more#About the thesis I know is a proposal from someone in my University#And on the other hand I don't really know much about medical physics but I really liked EMT! Bernard then medphysics is the closest thing#then medphysics is the closest thing and it fits perfectly with his two careers#Calculating uncertainty is the ordeal of every science student and I have not met the first student who thinks otherwise#if someone tell you that they like it's a liar or an alien
53 notes
·
View notes
Note
11. what would your muse consider their worst failing?
hello, @absensia, and happy sunday! thank you so much for the ask :D i just want y'all know that i appreciate every single one of these!! but alright, well... to tell you why barton views this particular thing as being his worst failing, i'm going to have to give you some backstory first. so please bear with me while i explain! so, as you may or may not know, barton currently has four kids. two of which are biologically related to him and the other two being adopted. though, back whenever he was first starting off as the dollmaker, barton actually had five kids. and this fifth child he had was named julien.
julien was different from the rest of his siblings, like jack is, in the way that he seemed to have experienced some form of trauma before barton had even adopted him that caused him to be very sensitive in relation to other people's emotions and actually made him act a bit jumpy. but this didn't change the fact that julien was kind of affectionately regarded as ' the best of all of them ' by barton's other kids whenever he was still around; and that was because julien would often try to protect his siblings, even in situations where he could get severely hurt, and he seemed to have this sort - of mellowing affect on barton because of just how likeable of a person he was.
the best way that i could describe what made him so special is that he was SUCH a good listener and had a way of making people feel welcome around him, which may be a bit surprising to hear considering the often dark + terribly gory reputation of the mathis family, but julien also really didn't like what he had to do while he was a part of their family sometimes. so you can imagine that whenever barton lost him to someone as sadistic as the joker... he was beyond devastated. not only because julien was like a figure of light in a family that could be the epitome of overwhelming despair, but because barton was the one who told him to go assist the joker with one of his ' schemes, ' as the man had contracted his help to do a rather grisly act to him — which would be to cut off his face — and julien had never come back from that meeting with him.
and although one could make the argument that barton couldn't have possibly known that that would happen, especially considering that he didn't know the full extent of just how bad the joker was at the time, he still very much blames himself for it. because barton believed that he should've known better in the end and gone there himself instead of treating this job like it'd be like any other one that they'd done, when it really wasn't. now just to give you some more context before i go on; if there's one thing you should know about barton, it's that his relationship with his children are probably his most complicated, so i do believe he does hold some kind of genuine love for them... but it's not a love that anyone can easily understand and one that likely isn't healthy at least half the time either.
but he felt legitimately torn up inside about it even a year later, and today, it's still isn't something that he likes to talk about. it was by far his greatest failure both as a father and as a person in his eyes. plus, knowing the fact that julien died alone and probably in a lot of pain, too? it was so painful for him that barton would swear up and down that it felt akin to someone shooting him right through the heart. so, if you were to ask him what he would do if he could go back in time and change one thing about his past, barton's answer wouldn't be that he would save himself from the cruelty of having to grow up under wesley's roof, or to make it so that his mom didn't have to leave him and he'd actually get to know her, or even to spend more a little more time with marcy... though, trust me, he has thought about all of those things.
it would be that he'd save julien. because he deserved so much better, in his eyes, than to be killed at the age of seventeen whenever he still had his whole life ahead of him and to have his comments about him being scared to go confront the joker completely dismissed. and this is also something that barton hates himself for. how to feels to have your feelings disregarded is something that barton is shocking familiar with, after all, and it's not a good feeling at all. but the fact remains that he can't do anything about his death now. all barton can do is grieve him at night, whenever he has no choice but to be alone with his thoughts, and he looks at past photographs of their entire family that have long since faded. of julien.
#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study.#ANGER'S HELPED ME STAY ALIVE: headcanons.#uhh okay... who put the onion slices in here y'all ;;#i honestly don't know whether this one or the past one was more sad but i suppose it isn't a competition JSJSJ#i just love torturing poor ol' barton don't i? / j nahhh nah he's anything but poor.#though i do feel like barton's story can be somewhat sympathetic sometimes. from how he had to deal with having a c*nnibalistic serial-#killer for a father + having his mom be forced to leave him as well as julien dying and barton feeling an IMMENSE amount of guilt bc of it.#and i feel like that might not even be all but i don't wanna bum anyone here out any further so JSJSJ let's just put a pen in it for now#i hope you liked my response though and that you're having a great day!!#tw: mentions of a child's death.#tw: guilt.#tw: mentions of unhealthy family dynamics.#and i thought that i should add that that of course doesn’t EXCUSE his horrific actions... i just want to explain the way in which barton-#demonstrates his humanity ( or what's left of it at least (': ) and how things may be more complicated than they appear on the surface.#because barton is not entirely evil but he's also VERY MUCH not a good person. so yeahhh
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love finding old fanfic ideas in my notes app
#old like i think i wrote this one around this time last year#it's basically EMT!Robin doing a first aid demonstration at a high school#and there's a bit where everyone can ask questions about being an EMT and all that#and robin talks about how her actual dream was to study linguistics and maybe go into translating or teaching#so someone asks what made her change her mind and she talks about how her best friend (steve obvs) saved a life once#and after that realised /that/ was what he was good at and they made all these plans and he started going to school for it#and then he died. and for awhile it was the only thing that made her feel close to him again so she went into the course for him#and years later it's something she actually weirdly enjoys - if only for the routine of it all#she likes that her background in linguistics means that she can make all sorts of people more comfortable just by talking to them#she still doesnt have the stomach for it the way steve always had though - it's supposed to be a buckingham fic sorta#so eventually she was going to meet chrissy and they were going to get close and chrissy was gonna like. inspire robin to follow her dream#idk i have a couple 'robin lives' fics where she has to deal with the fallout of steve dying when vecna comes back
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
found a picrew of myself from 3 1/2 years ago and redid it (new one on the left) without looking just for fun :)
#picrew#also my hair's split dyed so imagine half of the green is pink#truly fascinating. at least for me#same eyes same nose same skin color same earring/ear choice. same choker too#i do know that I tended to give myself very flat expressions in the past. which has gradually shifting to me drawing/portraying myself#smiling and happy#so. that's interesting to actually like. see in action#i should do this with more picrews i'd love to study myself#then again. i haven't really done picrews in a while because none of them have my hair#this one isn't even correct#but i swear it's impossible to find#anyway
6 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
carecentervets
Care Center
ravencrow83
I'm Just Here To Write 🤷🏻♀️
tomorowisneverpromisedtoday
Fuck it All
sweet-diamondrose
Olivia Rose
