#studio orange I am BEGGING you
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I wanna see tristamp Vash & Knives recreate this lmfao
#there is so much potential for them doing stupid sibling shit#what I would give to see the twins having typical petty sibling fights#studio orange I am BEGGING you#vash the stampede#millions knives#trigun 98#trigun stampede#trigun#knives millions#trigun maximum
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jai’s ao3 recommendations: supernatural/fantasy
#jai’s recs ○ all fic recs
Disclaimer: This masterlist excludes A/B/O fics because I have a masterlist for those here.
Updated December 15, 2023
taegi
Sick Sentiment by rix
explicit, cowboy bebop universe, outer space, bounty hunters, long-lost love, violence, even if this doesn't sound like your thing istg you should give it a chance i am begging you
↳ Six years later, Kim Taehyung looks just as good cocking a pistol.
Twilight Zone by Bandit4Life
explicit, strangers to lovers, violence, possessive behavior, morally ambiguous, taehyung is a (literal) monster that lives in mirrors, this shit is CRAZY!!
↳ Sometimes monsters don't hide under the bed, sometimes they hide behind mirrors - watching, waiting for the moment to strike, to kill. But Taehyung's goal has changed over time. It was pure curiosity at first. He only wanted to observe, wanted to find the flaw in the seemingly perfect human. He didn't expect Yoongi to hide a dark secret. "I've always known there was something off about you. But I didn't expect it to be like this."
no disguise by sports
explicit, friends to lovers, "taehyung is a vampire and yoongi is a real bella swan about it", i truly adore this fic and a big part of it is cuz jin's character is hilarious
↳ after the events of one rainy, bloodsoaked night, kim taehyung is now a vampire. yoongi doesn't really care.
vmin
Just Imago by SUGAohYoongiYoongi
explicit, guardian angels, studio ghibli & tim burton vibes, hurt/comfort, taehyung doesn't know how to use doors lmfao, IT'S SO CUTE OK
↳ Park Jimin finds out his 6-year-old daughter's imaginary friend 'Tae-Tae' is not that… imaginary, but actually an ancient creature with unimaginable superpowers and no understanding of doors.
Foolish by ChrossxXxRodes
explicit, jimin has hanahaki disease and it's taehyung's fault, soulmates, friends to lovers, slow burn, college au, spoiler: no one dies jhdkfs
↳ the one where Jimin's dying of unrequited love and Taehyung is unaware.
Carmen by sailoryooons
explicit, vampires, strangers to lovers, obsessive themes, once again hali writes smut that is a little bit terrifying and a lot sexy
↳ Taehyung gets lured to an exclusive club by a strange, enchanting woman. What finds him there is much more intoxicating and dangerous.
yoonkook
Anything Lovely by deepslowpanic
explicit, soulmates, college au, this is so cute !!!!!!!, i would fall in love with this yoongi too
↳ Yoongi feels like spring, and then he feels like summer. And sometimes he feels almost like home.
The Sweet Taste of Orange by 2019_0201
explicit, vampires, yoongi is the maknae and that's really fucking cute
↳ On a scale of 1 to 10, Jeon Jungkook would rank his coven's inability to treat him like a fully functional adult vampire a 20. At 300, he was well past the age where it made sense to be babied. Even before he died, he'd been an adult with responsibilities, even if his coven didn't see it that way. Min Yoongi didn't look at him that way though. As a human pushing 30, Yoongi was fascinated with Jungkook and everything he was. He thought he was, dare Jungkook say, cool, and honestly, he couldn't get enough of it. And his blood. And his scent. But that was a whole other thing.
yoonmin
Sea la víe by ryuks
explicit, mermaid jimin, very soft and awkward and cute, "yoongi is a disaster gay"
↳ Yoongi finds a strand of pearls caught on his fishing hook, but when he tries making off with them as goods to sell he’s not prepared to find an annoyed mermaid glaring at him over the edge of his boat, demanding he give them back or else.
jikook
lost and (never) found by carameLIZed_suga
explicit, urban fantasy, magical realism, addiction, morally ambiguous, people consume liquid dreams (or nightmares) and there are dealers who sell them almost like drugs
↳ Nightmares taste of bubblegum and machine oil, of sticky sweetness and bitter metal. It’s a weird mix that lingers at the back of Jimin’s throat for days, reminding him of the taste of blood, but richer and a lot darker. Nightmares are addicting. He can’t get enough of them. And his favorite nightmare is Jeon Jungkook.
coax the cold right out of me by vmantics
explicit, strangers to lovers, vampires, hurt/comfort, lots of angst
↳ Jimin looks back down towards the ground and scrunches his eyes shut, trying to get rid of the blue—but it’s burnt behind his eyelids. Seared into his brain. He can’t seem to stop seeing it no matter how hard he tries, and he doesn’t understand because if he hallucinated the whole thing then why does he remember it so vividly all these weeks later? Why is it back to haunt him after he thought he’d finally moved on? (Or: There's a stranger on the train, and Jimin takes notice.)
NIGHTSHADE BLAZE by carameLIZed_suga
explicit, urban fantasy, enemies to lovers, dragons and other mythical creatures, violence, jungkook is so fucking insane and terrifying jshkdfs
↳ For as long as Jimin can remember, his father has been keeping dark creatures in their basement to auction them off for large sums of money. One has been there for years: Jungkook. Unpredictable, violent, deadly… And Jimin is lured in by him.
crimson and extremely sweet by schoon
explicit, modern fantasy, vampire jungkook, the first fantasy mxm fic i ever read!
↳ Jungkook is a newborn vampire with a strange allergy to blood. His doctor, Park Jimin, is convinced that they are making progress and they will soon find a cure, although Jungkook is starting to lose hope. Blood doesn’t even smell good to him after all. Or that’s what he thought until he smelled Jimin’s.
taekook
The Doorman by bluevalo
explicit, urban fantasy, mythical creatures, horror, strangers to lovers, violence, slow burn, great worldbuilding, hurt/comfort, i swear to god i think about this fic every fucking day, it should be a movie or a tv show
↳ The Doorman is favored and recommended by many. Located within walking distance from both the university and the corporate district, it’s the public house where happy hour is always busy. The bartender is young and handsome, friendly though quiet, and mixes a wild Old Fashioned. He often leans on the counter, chatting with a customer, with a full sleeve of ink on display. It’s for his sake that Taehyung has been frequenting the bar, every Friday, for almost two years. Not knowing that the bartender is the doorman — to a much darker world.
00:00:00 by vminsbuns
explicit, greek mythology, strangers to lovers, taehyung is the god chronos, hurt/comfort, taehyung is so weird and clever
↳ Immortality is boringly long, and Chronos travels time, travels the Universe, travels Earth in the hopes of finding some exciting occupation. When he meets Jeongguk, he wishes he could be the one he claims to be—Kim Taehyung, a mortal who won't have to live for another eternity without Jeongguk.
cherry cola by dagusts (raplinesvevo)
explicit, urban fantasy, vampire taehyung, roommates to lovers, this fic made me wanna write a vampire roommate tae SO BADLY
↳ Jungkook is dead set on starting a new life when he moves to Seoul. A life with adventure, adrenaline, and even enigma. What he doesn't factor into his plans is a painfully attractive roommate, who has taken it upon himself to give Jungkook the most confused, love-struck butterflies of his life.
in your arms I hide away by nightmaremode (metalgr3ymon)
explicit, demons, this is mostly just porn but i love the worldbuilding around it, and also it's so soft
↳ as a pleasure demon, taehyung has seen and done many things in the name of satisfaction. but cuddling? warm kisses? holding someone close? that was new. or, the one where jeongguk is a lil' touch starved, and he seeks comfort on demon taehyung's touch
anoesis by honeybeams
explicit, strangers to lovers, this is really just very hot and bloody vampire sex tbh
↳ As a new fledgling, Jeongguk doesn't know to keep his own feelings in check, sure his sire can feel everything across the bond they share: the desire, the affection, how flustered he gets when they spend time together. What he doesn't realize is how badly Taehyung wants him back.
detail of the woods by honeybeams
explicit, horror, strangers to lovers, hurt/comfort, i honestly don't know how to explain this, taehyung calls jungkook "fireheart" and idk that makes me soft for some reason
↳ Enigmatic young writer Jeon Jeongguk is shuffled off into the woods by his editor who insists he needs a break. Without the fear of burnout and looming deadlines, Jeongguk gets a month to himself to think things through. It's all well and good, if he disregards the nightmares and the rustling of black feathers that lurk out of his periphery.
We'll Meet Again by zerorequiem
explicit, college au, jungkook is the moon and taehyung is the sun - like literally, magical realism, friends to lovers, soulmates, it makes my heart ache in a good way
↳ The Sun and the Moon meet at age twenty.
sucker for you by taecheeks
explicit, vampires, humor, strangers to lovers, jungkook is a little shit
↳ the summary for this is really long on AO3 but basically jungkook is an abandoned vampire that taehyung takes in to care for him and figure out who killed him
Sunsets of Sanguine by Kakostel and Kibb (Pembrooke330)
explicit, vampires, violence, strangers to lovers, humor, moral ambiguity, angst
↳ the summary for this one is also really long so just trust me hsdkfjs
time or place (i’ll come back to you) by taecheeks
explicit, vampires and other mythological creatures, soulmates, strangers to lovers, angst
↳ For hundreds of years, Jungkook has made it so his weaknesses could not be touched, could not be used against him. Hundreds of years, a small dent in his eternal life, and its snapped and tugged away from him in one night. When Yoongi had freed him all of those years ago, he swore to never let another person put a hold on him. He swore to never let himself bind to anyone, let them use him as they please. It only took him five hundred and fifty six years to fuck it up.
Boys of Cold by bluevalo
explicit, enemies to lovers, small town, so much angst, hurt/comfort, it gets worse before it gets better, christmas, modern fantasy, it's technically set in high school but i swear it's good
↳ There is something eerie in the snow. Jeongguk can see it. And Kim knows.
Doll Parts by elisabeta
explicit, strangers to lovers, violence, cyberpunk, mystery, sci-fi, great worldbuilding
↳ Taehyung, a street savvy biomechanic, is a prisoner to his high-tech, neon-lit melancholy. A lone pixel in the chrome jungle of Seoul’s undercity. Jungkook is a runaway with blades in his arms and hope written in his genetic code. (Or a gritty cyberpunk taekook au.)
Ballad of the Fallen Angel by Always_Somewhere
explicit, demon taehyung, angel jungkook, reincarnation, strangers to lovers
↳ Truly, Jungkook would always be his sweetest sin.
Psychic 10-12 Club by Ghoulie_cruz
explicit, clairvoyant taehyung, hurt/comfort, strangers to lovers, everyone's a lil weird
↳ All it takes is a phone call for Kim Taehyung, self-proclaimed psychic, to tell you your future—at least that’s what they say. Failing school, miserable in his job and fast running out of money, Jeon Jungkook could really do with some clairvoyance; someone to tell him it’s all going to be ok. Even if it’s a pile of optimistic horse shit, he’ll take it. Probably cling to it for dear life. But nothing—nothing—could prepare him for the cosmic shift that occurs when he drunk-dials into Taehyung’s cult radio show. Nothing tangible, anyway.
The Holly & the Ivy by TheInklings
explicit, edward scissorhands au, SO COOL and SAD, first love, self-acceptance
↳ Jungkook is a lonesome myth-come-to-life, a man-made boy with scissors for hands. Taehyung is a frustrated son itching to stretch the bounds of his pastel-painted town. They meet on Halloween. They’re enamored by Christmas.
Pearl by pocketggukie
explicit, siren taehyung, violence, soulmates, enemies to lovers, taehyung is like the world's only vegan siren jhdskfs
↳ During a calm night on the ocean, Jungkook found a beautiful man sitting on the railing of his ship, a man with icy eyes and dark scales running down his body. Taehyung had just found his next meal - one that looked exceptionally delicious.
Dreamy by paperwetwithink
explicit, psychological horror, incubus taehyung, the author used the tag "what exactly did i just write" and i felt that in my soul tbh
↳ When Jeongguk gets sleepy these days, it kind of feels like there's something watching.
Realms Between Us by JKDoYouLoveMe
explicit, incubus taehyung, self-discovery, strangers to lovers, college au, it's sad but also funny?? kinda crack
↳ Jeongguk doesn’t know how spirit magic or Ouija boards work. He assumes it takes something a lot more complicated than a drunk man asking for a sex demon to show up for it to actually happen. Something like cutting your hand and letting your blood drip onto the petals of a rare flower. Or saying something religious into a mirror while doing the Macarena. That's how Jeongguk knows that this is a prank. That's how he knows that the boy sitting on his bed claiming to be an incubus is lying.
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Chris Watches My Neighbor Totoro for the First Time
* I think I’ve seen merch of this guy but I know nothing else at all about this movie. Is he really someone’s neighbor?
* Boring beginning credits okay
* Gorgeous scenery right out the gate
* Still can’t get used to the frame rate I’d these movies but I get it
* Do all Studio Ghibli movies start with someone moving to a new house? 2 for 2 so far
* WHY DOES THE GIRL NEED TO HIDE FROM THE POLICE MAN
* I love the scenery in these movies because I know it’s Japan but it looks a lot like Taiwan and it’s just nice to see in like a popular movie?
* Oh, the orange and yellow child is a girl too, okay
* I do really love how these movies like capture the little mundane experiences of childhood
* Lmao the girl is crawling around with her shoes still on, not touching them on the ground and it’s the EXACT way I still love around my house if I’m on the way to work or something and forgot to grab something in the house
* okay so FIRST of all those are the exact same little black things they’re gonna use later in spirited away lol and also did THAT GIRL (mei) JUST STICK HER FINGER IN THE SCARY MONSTER CRACK
* why must the old people look so scary in these movies
* Starting to think this is less of a My Neighbor Totoro and more of a My ROOMMATE Totoro situation
* But where is he
* Little kids taking a bath with their dad, so sweet. I like this dad and he must be protected
* I do like how timeless this movie is. I love when you can’t tell what year it’s supposed to be
* Aww the mom in the hospital this whole family must be protected, the interactions feel so organic and authentic
* Finally some cute little rabbit guys!!
* ok fuck this big thing is so cute
* Is it Totoro???
* Don’t love the noises me makes
* This girl has no self preservation instincts that’s been made clear
* ok so they’re all Totoros and mei is crazy?
* omg totoro just chilling at the bus stop I’ve def seen that before
* But I’m really getting worried about the dad at this point
* CAT BUS WTF SOMEONE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD DRIVES AN EXACT REPLICA OF THIS AND I JUST THOUGH HE WAS A FURRY OH MY GOD
* I want Russian nesting dolls but they’re just totoros
* wow they’re just such fun little guys
* FUCK NOT THE MOM why does this need to get tragic I was having so much fun
* oh phew okay I thought she died
* SATSUKI NO don’t take it out on your sister
* oh my heart, this got so real so fast….
* everyone looking for Mei, don’t me dumb, we know she’s with Big Totoro
* lolol that couple was like “wow you’ve walked so far! well, bye!”
* I relate to Big Totoro bc I also am Fat and Love To Sleep
* never smile again Totoro I’m begging u that was so creepy
* Inside of the cat bus?? Also creepy. Love that the destination can change though
* I would have had nightmares about the cat bus as a kid
* Typical 80s movie Unnecessary Ending Song
Okay yeah that was really cute and wholesome and I actually liked it better than Spirited Away
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Ok I’ve send alucard’s propaganda now it’s VASH TIME 😎. Again. I am so normal about him.
Don’t come at me I genuinely think he’s prettier than sesshomaru like I’d want to look like vash more even if I’m a SLUT for long hair. Sesshomaru is also very pretty I respect everyone who votes for him. HOWEVER. I am not you <33
Undercut supremacy>>>
I’m toning down the ‘alien ethereal uncanny eldritch angelic body horror beauty’ angle seeing as y’all are probably sick of that after my other propaganda posts. Don’t want these to get too boring, after all! No point in just repeating the same stuff over and over again haha.
I will still be bringing up his insane proportions though. 70% legs. This gif is pretty dark so I don’t know if you can make them out but MAN, if he weren’t an outlaw he could be a model. Cinched waist too.
Also~ I love his outfit so so much I love the way his coat’s strips move when he walks or when the wind blows. I love the slits up to his hips. I love all the useless belts. And that’s not to mention the undersuit! Leather gloves up to his biceps, thigh-high boots, the skintight crop top- I aspire to dress as slutty as vash some day. He’s serving.
More evidence as to how long his legs are/how slutty his undersuit is. Is that a chastity belt. King. He is so aesthetically appealing to me, just, peak design 👌👌
What no I’m not trying to thirstbait you into reading trigun what are you waking about. Anyways, a new tristamp episode came out and this one had a shirtless scene!
Thank you tristamp animators 🙏🙏
Also, vash has dimples! I don’t particularly care about dimples, I think they’re pretty nice, but I hear some people like find them very attractive. Well hellooo? Come get your food? Also he’s got little fangs <33
I really like his musculature too, it’s drawn very pleasingly. Very gender. I need to bite him you don’t understand. Anyways uhh. Tiddy.
Yeah that’s right you’re just getting the blatant thirst bait now. Is is making you want to read trigun be honest. Vote vash for his FAT TITS and tiny waist, what more do you want in a man. What? Kindness? Personality? Well this ain’t about that! (Though vash is certainly very kind as well, aaa >///<)
Also his ✨scars✨ I find them very appealing <33 Everything about him is so gorgeous.
If we’re talking about aspects of vash I find beautiful, we can’t leave out his beauty mark! It is so important to me. It’s in the name!
Also, look at his lips! So pouty! Isn’t he gorgeous? Very pretty boy.
He looks very attractive when he gets serious as well, albeit in a different way. He has the range! I like how his eyes sharpen and his voice deepens, and the air of confidence that comes with it.
He is so good-looking. Beautiful man. I love him so much.
Also here’s vash getting choked against a wall because I mentioned it last time. Studio orange knows full well what they are doing and I’m never forgiving them for this (I am forgiving them so hard, in fact I am supporting their every endeavour).
I’m not lying. This shit happens all the time like vash is the fanservice character in this show. Also wolfwood? And mayb- ok so it’s just the guys. Mainly vash though like you don’t see any of the others tumbling ass-over-tit pussy to the sky. He’s so silly and delightful.
I’ve never felt attraction in my life btw I just appreciate him <33 he’s very pretty and I want other people to think he’s pretty too. I want him to do well in a poll for once please. Please I’m begging you. Vote for vash it would be so sexy please.
its propaganda time
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@gyubby99 okay bestie here it is.
Yall I am so sorry for this. This is absolute filthy smut and it's probably horribly written
Disclaimer: I am not Alastor. I do not know what he feels or how he feels it becos he is fictional. Don't come for me. I KNOW he's ace.
Alastor groaned as he got a familliar feeling coming from down below his pants.
Was it that time already? He had JUST gotten past the last time he was in heat. Any other time he hated the idea of sexual relations.
An hour or so passed by and Alastor ultimately went to go help with the hotel, catching the eye of his beautiful girlfriend the entire time as she helped man the phones and clean around the place.
She looked absolutely stunning. As always of course. But today....
Alastor gulped as his eyes trailed up and down her body.
She was wearing a short orange dress that matched the symbols on her body, and Alastor could get the perfect view of her ass.
The deer blushed as the sound of a moan made itself known due to how he was thinking. Aponi turned to look at him before he turned away, embarrassed.
Remain a gentleman. Your mother raised you better.
He told himself.
That's when an idea popped into his head.
Aponi had helped him out every time he was in heat, she was always the top.
He never gave her the same pleasure he got by just letting someone take the wheel.
They had done stuff a lot when he was in heat, and every time he would be the one to finish first. How was he just realizing this now?
Hours later Aponi made her way to her room, looking forward to collapsing onto her comfy bed with her cat curled up next to her.
Her thoughts as she walked to her room were interrupted by her boyfriend, the Radio Demon.
"Hello Darling!" Alastor smiled widely.
"Hello honey. How was your day?" Aponi asked as she started to walk again, fully expecting him to walk with her.
Alastor grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him in a tight hug.
Aponi was confused before she felt it against her abdomen.
"My day was rather... awful without you around," he purred.
Aponi gulped before smirking and beginning to lead him to her room.
"Ah ah ah. Not here. I have a better place in mind," Alastor muttered before dragging her along with him all the way to his studio.
He closed and locked the door, closed the drapes and turned off every microphone before turning to Aponi.
"Okay then. Where do you want me to uh..?" Aponi asked as she looked around, the only place being Alastor's desk.
"Come here, Darling, and let Daddy show you how it's done," he purred before grabbing her hips and bringing her in for a hungry kiss.
At the shock, Aponi practically melted in his arms as he took over.
"Al?" She asked when they stopped kissing to catch their breath. "What's got you like this- ohhhhh!" She moaned as she felt the bulge in his pants press against her..
"Nothing, darling. I just want to make you feel good," He whispered in her ear with static.
As he kissed her, he moved them over to his desk, lifting her up swiftly and sitting her there.
He stood back an just stared at her.
Her hair was a mess, her lips were swollen, and her dress had hiked up enough to let alastor know she wasn't wearing anything underneath.
"You're gorgeous darling. Truly a work of art," Alastor stated.
"I-i am? What else am i?" Aponi asked.
Alastor's smile grew as he walked to her.
"Well find out now, won't we, darling?" He responded before practically ripping off her dress.
Aponi used her extra pair of arms to undress him as well.
"Alastor, I need you," she begged in a whisper.
"Oh I'm sure you do, Lilly," He practically groaned her name as his pants dropped.
He pulled lilly off the table harshly before bending her over his desk.
He groaned as he looked at her. So beautiful, so his.... he ran his hands from her shoulders down her back, before finally settling on her ass.
"Al, please," she begged as she bit her lip and arched her back, waiting for something.
"Keep using your manners and I'll make sure you feel so good you won't be able to walk tomorrow," Alastor hissed.
He lined himself up with her entrance and thrusted in harshly, earning a yelp from her.
Lilly bit her knuckles to keep from making noise.
"Ah ah, darling. I wanna hear your pretty sounds," Alastor muttered before pounding into her like it would be the last time.
Lilly followed directions and let out every sound she had.
"Oh good girl," Alastor growled.
He noticed her clench tighter around him.
"Ohohohooo I see. You like praise, don't you?" Alastor smirked as he thrusted into her as fast as he could. "You're so beautiful, Lilly, darling," he stated as he ran his hand through her hair and gave a tug.
She let out a moan at that.
Alastor smirked before yanking her up by her hair so her back was directly against his chest as he kept fucking up into her.
"A-alastor I'm close...." she panted.
Alastor's free hand made its way down her stomach to give some attention to her clit.
"Oh fuck!" She yelled out before hitting her climax. Alastor right behind her in that regard.
Alastor fell to sit on his spinny chair, pulling her down to sit on his lap.
The two of them layed there there aminute or two before aponi perked up.
"You didn't pull out, did you?" She asked.
"Uhhhh.... no I don't believe I did," Alastor replied.
"...... we'll probably be fine,"
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So in preparation for moving, I'm going through all my stuff. I have a donation box, I have stuff I need to mail people (esp if I can get to some WIPs of gifts I have)...
It's a bit overwhelming, bc health is so bad that getting everything done is hard. (That's also why I started packing last week. I know I can't do it at once with my low spoons.)
The elephant was made for a friend but I haven't talked to him in a long while (we just fell out of touch) and the poor thing is homeless, and this baby blanket continues to be unsold. I really wish I could place them somewhere and actually make some money (which would help, bc moving + S&H of some of the gifts I want to finish and send). But yeah. (Also, I hate etsy, I only use it to shop, and a lot of the artists I was buying from are begging for people to use their shops from their own websites due to the cut etsy takes these days. I don't have resources or web know-how, so... yeah. Whatever. haha.)
Also, I miss my gremlin cat, she fucked up these (seahorse is mine iirc, but she got the cat charm's ear)... I really think the cat charm isn't too bad, maybe it could have a home someday too.
Then there's my collection of shit that I just... have either finished or is nearly finished or just needs a little more work?
I don't remember what stitch I was even USING on that baby blanket. The bunny just needs sewn. (Hate.) Same with the fucking pumpkin, that square bit of orange ombre. XD
ACE FLAG TURTLE... That was supposed to be for a friend.
Appa??? (I have yet to watch Avatar, meant to and never did, but I THINK that's the name)
TEEPO (for myself) (I might be able to salvage it?)
Um... Tikki from Miraculous Butterfly bc I wanted to make her, but never fucking finished...
A PIG? A BUNNY? DUMPLING? CAT?
I don't know. It's a fucking graveyard. This is only a dent in my WIPs, bc I still have Willow, Tessa, Lester (all OCs)... I packed Tessa and Lester away though. They'll wait till after the move. I want Willow done... if I can settle on his design finally LOL
I also found a friend who runs a studio who'll take a bit of yarn I don't want off my hands. (Same one that Appa??? is meant for, actually, so maybe I can send it all together???)
AND I FOUND IGNIS I WILL FINISH HIM FOR LATT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I WILL NOT LET THAT POOR MAN GO UNFINISHED (plus he can be sent with other stuff)
And I know I have a sore spot about people always interacting with my crochet but ignoring my writing especially when I said, "I'm quitting crochet bc of fibro and to focus on my writing" and people reacted badly to the news, as if I wasn't posting shit like this years before I quit:
Yeah. Not sad that's behind me. ;A;
Especially when I'm posting stuff like this and still wholly feel this sentiment:
And never had time to do it.
And it felt like no one cared, and only recently does it feel like finally people do want my writing. IDK it's painful.
It's a mess.
I don't know if I can easily go back to crochet. If I do, I have to be so fucking careful to never fall into this pit, and I honestly am anxious about this post bc it's clear I do want to make gifts... but that attracted so many bad characters into my life. The free pattern demands, the free gift demands, some people being one week into trying to be my friend and thinking they're being crafty sending me amigurumi pictures of their favorite characters and going "I wish I had this" COOL GO LEARN TO CROCHET :)
And people seeing what I did and never even commenting on my work, just going "pattern?!" or going "how did you do such and such and such" as if I am an instructor with all the free time in the world.
So that's why I only post OCs, and why I have told people not to share their gifts if they do get them... or to just simply not credit me if they post them. Do not leave a trail back to me. XD
So yeah, weird history with crochet, but... maybe I'll get some OCs done after I clear stuff out. Focus on myself, bc I never do, despite saying I will. I seldom make myself the things I want to. And it's my time, materials, and spoons!
Also, no, if I finish stuff, I'm not posting images unless it is OC related, unless it's a rare time like now that I'm okay with displaying a few projects. Which is nearly never.
I have my writing back. I'm still depressed af, but mental health is still tons better bc I stopped guilting myself that my writing time needed to be crochet time. I missed it so bad.
Not crying bc I am relieved, nope. :') (I'm crying.)
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« 1997 »
Pairing - Jaehyun x Fem!Reader
Synopsis - Your well-known boyfriend Jaehyun and you walked through Seoul until you guys went to the mall.
Genre - a little bit of smut ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
WC - 1306
Warnings - public sex ; no protection ; cum inside ; jaehyun is extremely hot
For once Jaehyun was free during the week, you took the opportunity to walk through the capital. The cherry trees were already losing their pink petals and your boyfriend hands you his phone: "take a picture of me". The two of you had only been together for a month but you already felt that he was the man of your life. Whenever the opportunity arises, you talk about Jaehyun. No lie, you don't know why or how you fell in love with him knowing that he is the complete opposite of you. He is an introvert while you are an extrovert and even prefer to go out every night rather than staying at home watching a movie. In fact, the first date he proposed to you was a nap in the studio while the others were at home. Because yeah, you didn't mention it, but Jaehyun is pretty well known all over Seoul as the leader of a music band but also as a dancer in his free time. There's no doubt about it, he's really good at everything he does, unlike you who's avoiding your responsibilities.
Being a well-known boy, it wasn't uncommon that girls would ask for a photo with Jaehyun on the street. It irritated you but it became part of your relationship. Anyway, we can't deny it but your boyfriend was a flirty boyfriend. Everyone knew it, except you. No matter what, Jaehyun is yours and no one can separate both of you.
-Baby, do you want to go to the mall? you ask
He smiled as an answer and grabbed your wrist, taking you to the nearest mall. Jaehyun was also the type of boyfriend who would buy you anything you wanted, it was a way for him to show you his love. You have to admit a Vivienne Westwood necklace was always very welcome when you weren't the one paying. Anyway you stroll down the hall and a store catches the eye of your Jaehyun.
-Victoria Secret? Really? I thought you were less cliché than that, you sarcastically let go.
-Have you ever even been inside to say that?
-No, but-
He cuts you off by kissing you. It still makes you blush as much as on the first day.
-Please, at least one look, he begs you
-Okay but just a peek no more.
He kisses you again happily and you rush into the store. While the store was smelling an unbearable smell of perfume that stung your eyes with a music that broke your ears, Jaehyun was browsing the lingerie sections. Are you the first one he's done this with? Certainly not. Feeling a bit depressed by this thought, you too browse the underwear shyly. A yellow set almost pastel attracts your eyes and bingo, there's your size. You already imagined what to wear with it and just for that you wanted to try it. Jaehyun comes to meet you with his hands taken by another orange set and a satin dress of the same color.
-Am I old enough to wear a dress like that? you ask, laughing.
-Why do you say that? I think it's very pretty. Go try it on instead of making fun of it.
Before listening to him, you show him the yellow outfit you found and ask him if it was cute. He nods and pushes you into the fitting rooms. You first try on the orange outfit that Jaehyun gave you but unfortunately it doesn't suit your skin tone at all and you pass it back to him so he can put it back on. While putting on your yellow outfit you hear Jaehyun talking with the saleswoman who seems very interested by your boyfriend if you believe the tone of voice she uses. Annoyed by the situation you open the curtain to see where Jaehyun is. Unfortunately he meets your eyes full of jealousy and you close the curtain in his face.
-Honey don't be jealous, I was just asking her if she could fold the orange set..
He opens the curtain of the cabin and finds you with the yellow set on. Your eyes meet his. Your boyfriend rushes into your little dressing room and looks at you with envy.
-Yellow suits you better than orange, he says sitting down on the stool in the little room.
At this moment, without knowing why, you felt extremely embarrassed. Of course he had already seen you naked but this was different : you were not at his place or yours. Still looking at you, Jaehyun says "show me how it fits you". Your cheeks turn pink little by little and you turn around to show him. Jaehyun puts his hands at the same time on your hips while you turn around and doesn't hesitate to squeeze them gently. The boy gets up from his stool and presses himself against your back. You are now facing the mirror. For once you were the shy one and he was the enterprising one, you felt weird in this situation. Jaehyun brings his lips to your neck and leaves a kiss there.
-I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, you are really beautiful.
Are you guys really going to fuck now in this little cabin? If Jaehyun's wandering hands are to be believed, yes he's going to fuck you right now. Despite the fact that you're trying not to break down, in panic you turn to him and say :
-Jaehyun we can't do this here ! There are people outside.
In fact, the saleswoman who was talking with your boyfriend earlier, walks towards your cabin and whispers "please, it's individual cabins". And Jaehyun replies that he's just helping you button the whole thing up properly. Liar. He could undress you at any time.
-We have 15 minutes, don't you want me to fuck you so you can see yourself in the mirror? he asks you while pressing his hips on you.
Of course you want to. Why is he asking stupid questions like that? You return to the wall, turning your back to him. Jaehyun whispers to you then, "I'll take that as a yes". Without you expecting it, the boy lowers your set and presses more and more his hips against your ass. Do you have to beg him to hurry up ?
-What are you doing Jae ?
You hear his belt being unbuckled and your boyfriend rubbing more and more against you.
-What am I doing? I'm doing this.
By saying that, he pushes himself into you, letting you blow hard by the mouth. Not wanting to get caught ( even if honestly it was already too late) Jaehyun covers your mouth with one of his hands while the other one helps him to go in and out of you.
-We need to be quick baby, sorry if you are not fully satisfied. I'll finish at home, he says still fucking you hard.
His thrusts are getting more and more brutal and luckily the music was covering the noises you were making. 2 or 3 minutes later, Jaehyun cums inside you. He gently helps you wipe off the mess he left you in and completely undresses you.
-Should I take the satin dress too or just the yellow outfit?
-Both.
He comes out smiling at you with the articles in his hands. It was short but intense, you don't know this Jaehyun but you must admit that you were very happy. You get dressed and leave the cabin as if nothing had ever happened. The saleswomen were looking at you laughing, of course everyone heard you. But it doesn't matter because it was Jung Jaehyun who fucked you. You guys come out hand in hand from Victoria Secret with a small bag containing the clothes.
-Let's go home, I have a princess to pleasure.
Hope you liked it !
#nctzen#kpop scenarios#nct fanfic#nct imagines#nct scenarios#tenshijhnny#jaehyun#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun x you#jaehyun smut#nct x reader#nct smut#nct smut jaehyun#jung jaehyun#jung jaehyun smut#nct 127#jaehyun imagines#jeong jaehyun#jeong jaehyun smut#jaehyun is extremely hot
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The Gift
❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: vi (arcane) x fem!reader
❥ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: “Vi decides to give you a beautiful gift, something you’ll remember for a long time. If not forever.”
❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: fluff + smut
❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 3,4k
⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: established relationship, playfulness, happy tears, domestic stuff, shower sex, thigh riding, fingering, lots and lots of kisses, lots of cuddles. first half of the fic is fluffy and the second half is just fluffy smut.
⟶ A/N: a soft smutty fic, as usual. just so you know I have 3 other fic ideas that I am currently writing… I promise you. you’re not getting rid of me just yet! If I’m being honest this is a soft filler fic before the OVERFLOWING tooth rotting fluffy smut part you’ll get afterwards. I hope you enjoy this uwu
⟶ previous post • masterlist • next post
Vi knows basically everything about you. Since you both started off as close friends to best friends to lovers… it’s kinda required. At least that’s how she feels about it.
She knows that you’re very sensitive and have some occasional sensory issues. How you love with your whole heart, or hate something like your life depends on it. The colour orange for example, you can’t really explain why but you don’t like it. Unless it’s peachy and pastel yellowy orange, that’s how you’d say it. Neon orange, the worst colour that exists. She knows you have a soft spot for plushies, you’d always be happy with a plushie of your favourite animals or character. You’ll never get enough of owning them either. Even if the bedroom is filled with them.
You love cute things. Pastel colours, especially lilac, baby pink, light blue, mint or light green. You despise spiders, you yell the other direction as you beg her to take care of it, thinking about it makes her laugh. She knows you like to read books during your free time, getting lost between the pages. You also love sunsets and sunrises. You love heart shaped things, clouds and flowers or plants.
To summarise it, she just knows you through and through, just like you know Vi better than herself sometimes.
Violet also remembers very vividly when she first moved in as your roommate that you told her that you’d love to adopt a kitten or a cat someday. To make you feel less lonely. You probably never adopted one because Vi moved into the apartment at the beginning of you getting the place.
She knows you’re not lonely anymore, but she can’t help but think about it either. You’re obsessed with cats, and she knows that they are one of your favourite animals.
So one day, she decided to get you one. She’s been secretly researching and buying all the essentials a cat would need. Such as a litter box, food and some toys. Vi would like to think that you have no idea of her plan. She is very adamant on keeping this a surprise as long as she can.
It is the evening, you finally enter the apartment while you yawn. You just came back from your work, your art studio. You didn’t bother to call out that you came home because usually you’re the first one that’s done with working. Dropping the keys next to the little side cabinet next to the door, you quickly take off your scarf, beanie and your jacket. You hang it on the peg before making your way to the living room.
You let yourself fall on the couch the moment you reach it. You moan while closing your eyes as you feel yourself sink into the cushions, feeling your body relax. You enjoy the silence for a while until you hear a crash coming from the hallway.
You open your eyes and frown, you thought you were all alone. “Vi?” You shout as you stand up, making your way towards the sound.
You hear a muffled “Yeah” coming from the spare bedroom. The one Vi used to sleep in before your relationship became romantic. You hear her shuffle before you hear her lock the room, making you gasp.
“What are you doing there?” You laugh.
“It’s a surprise!” She yells back at you.
You shake your head in disbelief, “Come on Vi, please open the door.”
“Not yet, be patient please!”
“You know I hate when people are being secretive,” you say teasingly, loud enough for her to hear.
You hear shuffling again “Baby, you know I’d only keep secrets from you if it’s to surprise you,” you hear her say, her voice a lot louder than before. You realise that she’s next to the door.
“I know,” you grumble.
You hear the door unlock, there’s a moment of silence before she opens the door just slightly too peek her head out. Her hair looks dishevelled, messy. You see that her face is flushed. It's a funny sight, seeing your girlfriend like this. You giggle as she looks at you.
“Are you making fun of me? I am literally peeking my head out just to say hello to my girlfriend,” she complains with a hint of playfulness. “I guess you don’t deserve my surprise.”
“No! I’m sorry.” You say quickly as you try to stop laughing.
“Alright, since you’re trying to be good for me… you can see what my surprise is,” she says as she opens the door just slightly so you can slip inside. “But first, close your eyes.”
You smile mischievously before you try to look serious again, closing your eyes for her.
“And no peeking!” Vi says because she knows how curious and impatient you can be.
“Okay,” you say, keeping your eyes closed. You hear the door slide open for you and seconds later you feel her take both of your hands in hers. Guiding you inside the room you hear a tiny meow. You gasp loudly, thinking you already know what her surprise is.
You hear Vi curse under her breath making you bite your lip. “You can open your eyes now,”
You slowly open your eyes and find a tiny black kitten lying on a little blanket on the bed. You feel your heart melt at the sight, as she meows again. All your attention is on the cute little creature in front of you. You can feel Vi’s eyes on you as you approach the kitten on the bed, they sit up and crawl to your direction. Sitting down on the bed the fluffy little thing tries to get on your lap.
You feel your eyes well up with tears while the kitten purrs lightly as you caress their back. You can’t believe this. Tears roll down your cheek as you coo at the little kitten lying in your lap. You look up, meeting Vi’s eyes seeing her look at you with so much warmth.
“Is this for me?” You say through sobs.
She walks closer to you sitting next to you, instantly wrapping an arm around you. You lean your head against her shoulder as you nuzzle against her.
“Yes of course, she’s all yours.” She whispers, kissing the top of your head.
“Ours,” You reply quickly.
Vi smiles as you continue to cry softly against her. Vi pats her lap and you pick up the kitten gently in your hands and Vi wraps her arms around you, picking you up and moving your body onto her lap. She places her head in the crook of your neck as she hugs you closer to her body while you pet the kitten in your own lap.
“What are you going to name her?” She says against your ear.
“Kiki,” you say without thinking.
“Kiki? Like your fave little Animal Crossing character?”
She feels you nod against her “Yes, like the black cat in Animal Crossing.”
Vi chuckles “Why?” She asks, knowing the answer already.
“Because she’s a black kitty with big yellow-greenish eyes just like Kiki and because Kiki is my favourite.” You say as you look up at her with a big smile on your face.
Vi leans up to press a soft kiss to your temple, making you feel all warm inside. You feel yourself melt against her. “Perfect name for a beautiful kitty.”
“Perfect just like you,” You say as tears well up in your eyes again and you lean up to press a soft kiss to her lips. “Thank you.” You whisper against her lips.
“Anything for you, princess.” She says before kissing you again. You both kiss languidly for a while, just enjoying each other’s company and love for one another. After some time you hear the kitten meow. She pulls away first, both of you looking down at the little kitten on your lap.
“I think it’s time for dinner.” You say happily, wiping your tears off your face.
“I guess so, let’s make some dinner then.” Vi says with a huge smile on her face.
——
After dinner is over, you’re cleaning the dishes as Vi is playing with the kitten in the living room. You still can’t believe she gifted you a kitten. You’re truly over the moon.
As you’re cleaning, your mind is drifting off elsewhere. You’re daydreaming about the domestic life you have with Vi and you feel your heartbeat faster as you think about her. You don’t hear Vi approaching you, so lost in your own thoughts.
Arms wrap around you slowly making you yelp in surprise. She chuckles against your neck at your reaction, “So deep in thought that you didn’t hear me come into the kitchen, baby?” She knew you too well.
“Yeah…” you whisper.
You feel her delicate lips tracing the length of your neck, pressing soft kisses down your neck onto your shoulder. You smile when her hands slide across your stomach to keep you close against her chest.
“I love you,” you murmur, tempted to drop everything you’re doing to wrap your arms around her.
“I love you too, missed ya.”
You continue to clean the last plate in your hands until it’s done. Afterwards you’re cleaning the sink with soap making it shine. You smile as you turn around in her embrace, wrapping your arms around her quite quickly.
“You know… I missed you too today.” You whisper, your lips ghosting against hers for a second before your lips meet in a gentle kiss. For a while you’re both just kissing, enjoying the feeling of each other.
You pull away from her but not before giving her lips a quick peck. “I’m gonna shower.” You say as you walk away.
“Oh—”
“Are you coming?” You say with a playful tone.
Vi looks at you with wide eyes for a moment until she composes herself, taking the hand that is holding out for her. You pull her to the bathroom, closing the door behind you.
You’re leaning against the door of the bathroom looking at her while you bite your lip. She looks so hot, she always does. You walk towards her as she smirks at you, grabbing the collar of her hoodie, bringing her lips down to your mouth.
“I want to undress you,” you whisper against her lips. She moans against you as you tug at her sweatpants.
“Only if I can undress you.” She says teasingly.
“Yes, please do.”
You undress each other quickly, while you both continue to kiss each other passionately. Violet seems determined to devour you whole, determined to make the most of this desperate kiss.
Once both of your bras and underwear are off, she pulls away slightly as her hands caress the length of your arms, admiring your body. “You’re so pretty. So beautiful.” She says as she’s caressing the side of your face, she tilts your chin, her lips ghosting against yours. She slowly glides her lips over yours, nudging them open. You part your lips wider, urging her to kiss you more, deeper, because all you want to do is give.
You whine against her lips as you feel her hands move from your neck to your waist, all the way to your ass. You pull away slowly, her pupils are dilated and she licks her lips before she squeezes the flesh of your ass in her hands.
“F-fuck, Vi.” You moan as you pull yourself away from her hold. “We should get in…”
Vi stares at you hungrily for a while before her gaze drifts to the shower. “Good idea,” she says smiling cheekily.
You quickly step into the shower with one foot and reach for the shower handle, turning the shower on. Once you step out of the shower, you feel her hands around your waist again, pulling you closer as she leans down her head to kiss your neck.
You giggle at her affection, knowing that Vi can never get enough of you. You pull away again as you notice the water is heating up. Stepping into the shower, you sigh as the warm water falls on you, the steam already relaxing your muscles. You turn to face the water, closing your eyes as you let it run off the back of your scalp, your hands coming up to rub over your face.
Soon, you feel the front of her body against your back. Her hands are sliding against your hips, pulling you impossibly closer to her. You can feel your breath growing shaky as you respond to her movements, turning your body around in her embrace. Your arms encircling the back of her neck, your lips leaning up towards hers.
She gladly meets your lips halfway, as you’re standing on the tip of your toes. She kisses you slowly, teasingly, like she has all the time in the world, her hands squeezing your hips, pressing her own hips against yours as she finally deepens the kiss. You gasp as her hands knead your ass, giving her the opportunity to slide her tongue inside her mouth.
“You’re truly the hottest person I've ever seen.” She murmurs against your lips. Her own lips become more and more eager as she backs you slowly against the shower wall. You hiss slightly as the cold wall hits your back but the uneasiness is short lived as Vi tucks her face into your neck, her lips pressing soft open mouthed kisses below your ear.
“Says the hottest girl I’ve ever seen,” Your fingers tangle in her hair, which is dark pink now, because it’s soaking wet. Just like your heat, that’s now touching her thigh. You didn’t notice that she brought her thigh between your legs, too lost in the feeling of her touch and kisses on your neck.
You whimper loudly, leaning your body even more against hers and you feel your body tingling all over. A second later you feel her lips crash against yours again. You feel so overwhelmed, your heart hammering against your chest as you roll your hips down on her. Grinding your sensitive clit against her muscular thigh.
“B-baby—” you cut yourself off with a loud cry as her hands move you back and forth, the delicious friction against your throbbing heat causing you to close your eyes as she moves you back against her thigh. Moaning softly as you feel Vi flex her thigh against your pussy.
You gasp as she moves her leg up to apply more pressure to your clit, bucking your hips instinctively to continue rocking them without her guidance. You’re trembling as you drag your hips back and forth, occasionally moving in circles. You feel so close, the coil tightening below your waist. Her thigh is so thick and strong, the pressure on your clit driving you insane as you roll your hips faster, supporting yourself by your palms placed on her abdomen as small whines leave your mouth.
Her eyelids hang low as she watches you, her eyes concentrated on each roll of your hips, each grind of your pussy against her muscular thigh. Your body trembles the more you drag your pussy against her, feeling so close to your release, you try to move your hips faster. Her hands dig in your hips, guiding you against her thigh once again the second she notices you slowing down. Flexing her thigh repeatedly against your dripping centre does it, makes you double over as you cum against her skin.
Your head leans against her chest, as you try to catch your breath while you slow down your movements against her. Her hands slide over your back as her arms pull you closer against her while she pulls her thigh back.
You look up at her, your breath still laboured. “Did that feel good?” She asks as a gentle smile plays on her lips.
“Oh yeah, definitely.” You mirror her smile as you wrap your arms around her neck.
“You did so well for me, you’re always doing so good for me. I love you so much.” She says before she leans down to kiss you. The kiss starts off gentle, but soon evolves into something more passionate and deep. She brings your body closer to her, and you can’t seem to quite catch your breath.
You open your mouth to swipe your wet muscle against her lips, her lips slowly opening up for you to slip your tongue inside. Your tongues dance against each other slowly, her taste is so delicious, making you moan against her lips.
Your hands travel from her back, all the way down to her waist, your hands occasionally squeezing her flesh. One of your hands is slipping all the way down to her wet heat in between her legs, while the other is holding her body close to yours. All the while you’re kissing her deeply. She whimpers when your fingers pass by her sensitive bundle of nerves.
Your fingers slide up and down her slit, slowly spreading her outer lips for you to slip two of your fingers inside her. She cries out as you rub your fingers against her walls. You press your palm against her clit as you gradually pick up the pace of your hand.
Her legs almost give out on her at the pressure against her clit combined with your fingers playing with her sensitive spot inside. You steady her with your other hand as you smile against her lips. You swirl your tongue against hers as she moans in your mouth. Her thighs tremble so hard as her noises start to become more high pitched.
She opens her eyes, meeting your playful eyes as she pulls her mouth from yours to cry out loud as her hips stutter against your hand as she comes undone. Vi tightens and untightens around your fingers as she rides out her high. After a while you slip your fingers out of her as she slumps against your body. Both of your hands catch her body and you smile.
“God that was so…” She says breathless against your neck.
“I know, I wanted to thank my girlfriend for giving me such a beautiful gift.” You say as you lean your head down to press a kiss on her, now soaked head.
“You know you didn’t have to,”
“I know, but I wanted to. I shouldn’t be the only one that’s always getting all the pleasure.” You say softly.
She straightens up after you say those words. “Is that what you think? That you don’t pleasure me enough?”
You bite your bottom lip as you try to avoid her eyes, “Well yeah, kinda.”
You soon feel her hands on your cheeks, tilting your face to hers, making you look into her eyes. “Erase that thought out of your head, you do pleasure me so much that you don’t even realise.”
You smile softly at her words, leaning against her touch. “Thank you, you know how insecure or how much I doubt myself sometimes.”
“That’s ok, I’m just here to remind you that those thoughts aren’t true.”
You wrap your arms around her as you hug her close to you, your head on her chest. You both hold each other like this for a while. Until Vi speaks up again.
“What do you think about this, we go and watch a movie in the living room after we clean up?” She says as she smiles down at you.
“Perfect idea.”
You both wash each other, your hair and your bodies, as you occasionally share some kisses, touching each other softly as you clean yourselves. It’s so intimate, in a way that it’s not even sexual anymore. Just soft and sweet. And oh so gentle.
Once you’re both finished, Vi steps out of the shower first grabbing a big fluffy towel for you. Wrapping the towel around you once you’re out of the shower. She grabs one for her and wraps it around her.
“You’re so beautiful.” She whispers to you as she dries herself off. Once you’re both dry she wraps her towel around her and pulls you against her, holding you close to her.
You could stay like this in her arms forever. Eventually you pull away and she smiles mischievously down at you.
“The first one that has their pyjamas on and sits on the couch gets to pick out the movie.” She says quickly before running off to your shared bedroom, giving herself a head start.
“HEY!” You yell as you run behind her, both giggling as you try to be as quick as possible.
#vi x reader#vi x you#vi arcane x reader#arcane vi#arcane vi imagines#vi lol#vi lol x reader#vi smut#vi imagines#vi imagine#vi league of legends#league of legends x reader#league of lesbians#arcane#sapphic fanfic#ml’s writing
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12:10 AM- Hoseok
Finally- your shift was over.
"I'll see you later," you called to a coworker, waving a lazy hand in the air before rushing out into the cold.
You checked your phone quickly for the time- your roommate would've left for their parents' house already. They had mentioned staying the night there earlier, meaning the apartment was probably empty. Not that it mattered. You felt a very specific key burning in your pocket, practically begging to be used so you wouldn't be there anyway. Besides, it had been a week since you had last seen Hoseok.
Between your work and his, the two of you just seemed to keep missing each other. Neither one of you were the texting type, but you did speak on the phone almost everyday when you got the chance. Still, it wasn't enough. You missed him in a way you didn't really expect, maybe the pandemic has made you a little co-dependent. You just wanted to be around him, even if it was just to sleep.
You made your way to his apartment, letting yourself in with the key. He wasn't home, unsurprisingly. He mentioned staying at the studio late tonight to finish a track. The chill of the air had soaked into your bones, leaving you shivering even in his heated apartment. You kicked your shoes off at the door, placing your keys in the dish on the kitchen countertop like you had seen him do a million times before looking around.
Hoseok usually kept his apartment clean but the state it was in currently was...wrecked. There were no dishes in the sink but that was about the only surface not covered in papers or scraps of plastic or empty coffee cups, which probably meant he just wasn't cooking at all. There was a pile of laundry in the middle of his hallway for some reason, so large that you had to hop over it just to get to his bedroom. You debated cleaning for him but didn't bother, knowing he'd just get annoyed you didn't do it the way he wanted to.
Hoseok must've had a hard week too.
You showered quickly, washing your hair with his fancy products just so that you could smell like him. Bergamot and orange- just the quarter sized puddle in your hand was enough to calm you down a little. It wasn't until you had stepped out of the shower when you realized you hadn't thought about clothes to wear in your spontaneous plan to come here. Browsing his closet, your hand gravitated towards a soft shirt with some anime graphic printed on the front. You snorted at the geekiness of it all, pulling it over your head instantly and grabbing a pair off his boxer briefs for yourself.
You crawled into bed, jumping when a crack of thunder went off in the distance. When did it start raining? With a quick check of your phone, you wondered if Hoseok had finished yet. Hopefully he had an umbrella. His bed felt softer than yours and smelt like him, subconsciously drifting over to his side of the bed to envelop yourself in the scent more. You hadn't even realized you fell asleep until a door closed, causing you to shift slightly and see Hoseok walking into the room, water dripping off the ends of his hair. He looked surprised and slightly out of breath, staring at you wordlessly.
"Hey," You said sleepily, propping yourself up on your elbows. "I used the key you gave me."
He blinked blankly, his shirt clinging to his chest in a way you appreciated even in your half asleep state. His mouth opened and shut like a fish, making you smile a little bit. "Y-yeah, that's fine." He said, nodding his head. "I'm sorry it's a mess, I..."
Hoseok trailed off, not bothering to finish his sentence before bottom lip quivered and he pressed his mouth into a pout. You heard myself make a weird noise and scramble to the edge of the bed, realizing he was about to cry.
"What's wrong?" You mumbled, reaching out for his hand. Hoseok let you take it and sunk to his knees on the ground, laying his head in your lap. You ran through his damp hair with your fingers, rubbing his temples lightly.
"I had a really hard week." He mumbled, sighing heavily. "Everything is so chaotic and I'm so stressed out, my place is a mess, I haven't been sleeping. We barely even talked all week and this is the first time I've seen you in so long."
"I missed you too," You whispered, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. "It's okay, you know everyone will love anything you put out as long as you put meaning behind it. I'm here now, why don't you get out of your wet clothes so you don't get sick and we can talk more after?"
Hoseok breathed in deeply and stood up, nodding sharply, "Right, okay- you're right."
He started towards the bathroom before turning back and kissing you, craning your neck up towards him with a hand at the base of your skull. "I'm glad you used the key."
He came back quickly, wearing a pair of loose boxers and nothing else. "This is like a dream," He laughed, sliding into bed behind you. You smiled as he pulled you against his front with a hand around your waist, hugging you from behind. "My dream girl wearing my favorite shirt in bed. God, it's like you knew how shit my day was."
"Just missed you, that's all," You shrugged, feeling his hand drift from your stomach to where your thighs met, stopping when he felt the extra layer of fabric over your center. He grunted and you felt his hand run over your thighs, a finger dragging under the seam of his underwear on your body.
"Are these my boxer briefs? Also- did you use my shampoo?" He asked, sitting up slightly.
You blushed and nodded, looking over your shoulder back at him. "Yes?"
He laughed, kissing your cheek sweetly, "That's cute."
(A/N: this is a little long and i think i used the word you way too much. also i didn't proof read. my bad. feedback is always appreciated!)
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Signing Off (Final Fantasy VII)
(( written for the @ff7ogzine - I am incredibly honored to share what was The Most Emotionally Taxing thing I've ever written. I have a lot of feels about the Sector 7 plate fall, even 25 years later, and I'm glad I was able to tell the story of those who were impacted the most: the NPCs. Please enjoy this, but also bring tissues. We all know what happens, but trust me when I say it's A Lot ))
“And cut! Roll commercials!”
“Five-minute break, everyone. Good work.”
The static faded in Dale’s earpiece, but his smile remained. Only an hour into the evening news and his producer was serving praise like her homemade cookies from last holiday’s potluck. Claudia must be in a good mood, he mused. As makeup artists scurried over to freshen his features, Dale surveyed the studio that accommodated the Sector 7 Local News.
Muted orange and beige hues engulfed the backdrop. The shag carpet and curling wallpaper begged for renovations, but exuded its own charm. Both ended outside the camera’s frame and surrendered to metal and concrete. Second-hand equipment—the best the slums offered on a budget—occupied the otherwise barren studio: quartz lights, broadcast cameras, mixing consoles, reference monitors, and more. All invisible to the viewers at home, but a wise investment to maintain above-average production quality and an even better crew.
Techs maneuvered faders and control modules, their eyes glued to screens revealing new footage for later stories. Writers typed faster than he could ramble. Amidst the buzz of last-minute information and ideas, Claudia prowled from afar with a pleased, yet slight smile.
“Hey!” Verna leaned in and tapped Dale’s forearm. That wide grin, complete with straight white teeth, was cemented into his coanchor’s face, along with a thick layer of foundation. “Got any plans this weekend?”
Dale tuned out the banter in his earpiece—the audio engineers bragging about attending Loveless again. “Same old, same old. Dinner with my folks, rent a new release. Taking it easy, regardless.”
“Well, aren’t you just a source of entertainment,” Verna drawled.
[read more on AO3]
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Tues 30 March ‘21
Happy Tuesday! And to make it a happier tuesday, here’s Louis bursting on the scene to spread some cheer: “every day is a day closer to the first show back!” And that’s just the beginning! Someone asks if he has thought about making a documentary-- “already on it love” he replied. Listen yes, we knew that was what he and Charlie Lightening were up to BUT STILL- OMG!!! SOOO cool. Some people are not so sure but me, I think it’ll be awesome- cannot wait! Trust in Louis yall. And just to prove he’s a man you can trust he reacts in the ONLY correct way to react a dog modeling Walls merch-- “haha love that.” It’s wearing a bucket hat!! The Clifford picture we deserve tbh but for now this is excellent. He also said “got a decent chorus idea down” about what he’s been up to and doubled down on his most hotly debated tweet of recent times, 369. “Explain pls” begged a fan; “369” said Louis again, faaaanks for that love. That’s our guy, always forthcoming about his tattoos! Hahaha. AND THEN he responds to a tweet about how we always read too much into things but that he also trolls us with mystery posts: “fair comment”. WOW. He is truly a little shit and that is that on that! The man we love to hate ladies and theydies! And more on the louie topic of the moment people actually kind of hate, the NFTs. He’s asked about his recent follows and says, “some cool nft companies. I've been trying to educate myself in everything that already exists in that space.”
This year is gucci’s 100th anniversary I guess, and they are marking it by making a push to sell handbags, which means new pictures of Harry with a purses! Or so one can assume, the preview image we’ve seen so far is just his scruffy face, a lot of fluffy fur (on his Macklemore looking coat I mean but there is a lot of Harry hair on display too), and his dick necklace peeping out of the lapel of his shirt, looking extra obscene tbh cause the banana part is covered up so it’s just little unsolicited dick pic hiding in Harry’s chest hair, good lord. Yes yes we know babe you love gucci and dick and your gucci dick banana… anyway, the campaign drops April 22. It’s shot by Harmony Korine, who is a filmmaker, and a set director posted about working on a gucci commercial featuring Harry and Dakota Johnson back in Jan in LA so it seems safe to say there will be moving images to come. And speaking of Harry and filming, Heidi Gardner talked about doing SNL with Harry and told a story about him being reluctant to touch her shoulders for their sketch until she brought it up, and then him saying he was waiting for an explicit invitation to touch her. Aw, that’s our Harry; thoughtful and anxious. I feel like he works so hard to model the behavior he wants people to use towards him like, ‘people please I am begging can you please just be NICE and be respectful and stop grabbing me’, or maybe it’s just that he really understands firsthand how awful it feels to have your boundaries violated- either way I would love to manifest the same respect for him.
Ingrid Michaelson did a patreon live and talked about To Begin Again and how great having Zayn on the track has been; “Zayn's fans are intense. Very sweet. Aggressively supportive I think is the right word.” AHAHAHAHA YES ‘aggressively supportive’ might be the most perfect term anyone has ever coined for any subset of 1D fans so once again, HATS OFF to Ingrid the poet for a winning turn of phrase that I will certainly be using for a long time to come! She also said that the music video will be out in early April (and that it’s “a proper music video. It's not like your standard two people in a studio singing blah blah. It's different.”) Oh yeah and also that… Zayn and Gigi are married??! She said, “We’ve never met, I’ve never spoken to him. Zayn doesn’t do stuff he doesn’t wanna do and the fact that he did this song is very flattering. He’s such a private person and now he’s married and has a child so he does the things he wants to do…” prompting mass chaos in the zquad, but she later confirmed that she had just misspoken/ made an assumption based on their cohabiting and having a child together. And speaking of twitter leaping at the chance to go bananas over nothing, thousands flipped out because Lottie posted her gift bag from the Brits like “this means Louis is nominated for a Brit”!!! Lol WHAT? She got it cause she’s an influencer, but more to the point how does the SISTER of the nominee getting a gift bag make sense in any universe, you think they’re just looking up peoples’ family trees and everyone’s aunt gets a present like… WHAT??? Oh and also that they’re spilling the beans via gift bags before the big reveal… everything about that is ridiculous. Again, I’m sorry to say that I will be very surprised if Louis gets a nom but either way, we’ll find out tomorrow and not before.
And! You can bid now on a giant orange football jersey signed by Liam (or just look at the cute pic of him holding it)! It’s a benefit for the Wolves Foundation (a network of foodbanks in Liam’s hometown Wolverhampton, it’s unrelated to the criminally underrated 1D song alas). I hear it calling for you…
And finally, tune in tomorrow for Harry as Starfox rumors pt 369, this time For Real (only hmm nope probably not)
#Louis tomlinson#harry styles#liam payne#zayn#so I have to admit that even in the time since yesterday I’ve looked at the NFT stuff more and am a little more interested#some of what other bands are using them for is cool and I can see why it’s the sort of stuff that makes sense with louis’ fanbase#exclusive special perks that play out over the long term and stuff#the main thing that I find super annoying about them is using the gimmicky platform to add a lot of invented value#to something that on its own isn’t worth much#but Louis wouldn’t do that. it’s true he has done a few merch items that were inaccessible… so it isn’t impossible…#but he always also has accessible stuff and I feel like that’s pretty rare#(ALTHOUGH shoutout to the HOOPS I had to go through to get that JHO vinyl without bankrupting myself FUCKING HELL)#but here’s the thing- the stuff that I see that seems like he could do and have it be cool#I REALLY don’t see how it would need to be an NFT and not just a special offer like I just do not understand how that’s a necessary part of#the picture#so that’s where it just feels like a stupid gimmick to me. but I guess we’ll see (or I’ll gain a better understanding about the whole thing#I do admit… it’s currently a bit shaky)#also lol @ the NFT blog that followed me yesterday I’m assuming that’s a bot and an error#and me aside: I see everyone inthe tags being like UGH NO <3#he's gonna have an uphill battle with this one I think to win over the hearts and minds to the platform#30 mar 21#when I saw people were flipping about lottie's post I thought it was cause she circled a blue and green part of the pic#and I thought I was doing a pretty great job of tapping into the twarrie mind#but I truly cannot even follow where these things actually go I would NEVER have thought of that
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Song: ‘Slow dancing in the Dark’ By Joji
Warnings: Mingi x readers, college students, alcohol, drunk sex, mention of smut, cheating (Please do not read if you are uncomfortable, I am NOT responsible For what YOU read.) Listen to the song for a better experience. Requested by @haechanniesunflowers <3
Mingi leaned against the wall as he smile at the text from his phone, you silently observed his face, those smile he never once gave you. “Mingi, are you listening?” You tilt your head as Mingi’s smile drop. “Huh, did you say something?” You sighed holding in your anger. “I said we should bre-.” His phone vibrated as he picks it up without caring. “Hold on let me answer this quick.” Mingi whispered turning to his side still leaning against the wall. You grabbed his shoulders making him face you. “Lets break up, I can’t do this anymore.” You ran your fingers through your hair walking away only to be grabbed by Mingi. “What nonsense if this? Is there something wrong?” You were over it, never having him listen to you and always trying too hard to keep the both of you close. “You are the problem.” You shook his hands off aggressively before walking out the building of the building of Mingi’s apartment. Looking back Mingi didn’t even follow you out, you were disappointed that he really didn’t care. The sky was gloomy, taking a breath of air you bit your lips. “That’s right, you don’t need him Y/N.” You said walking up the slanted street to your studio apartment.
Days that passed by turned into weeks which quickly turns into months. You got off your bed putting on your sandals as you quickly walk out into the street to go to 7/11. “You crazy bastard!” Ahead of you was a little fight, 3 guys beating up the orange hair male. Squinting your eyes the orange hair male looked familiar. “Mingi!” You quickly ran up to the man shoveling Mingi from their hits. “WHat are you guys doing?! Please stop hurting him.” You beg checking Mingi to see if he was ok. “That bastard started first bumping into me making me spill my drink!” You flinch by his loud voice. “I-I will buy you a new one please stop now.” The man ran his fingers through his hair breathing heavily as his friends stared at you. Mingi smelt like alcohol, his face was flushed and he seemed tired. You finally paid for their drinks forgetting about your food, bringing Mingi to your house was a struggle. “Why are you causing trouble.” You scold him who could barely walk. Finally getting home you set Mingi on your bed to rest. “Wait here I will bring you seem water and clean you up.” You got up from the bed only to be pulled down by Mingi. “Don’t go.” Your heart fluttered seeing how beautiful Mingi is, his new hair color matched him well you thought. “Just sleep, I will take care of you.” You said trying to get up again but his grip only became stronger. “I-I missed you. Just stay here with me.” You and Mingi sat in silence admiring each-other’s face. Mingi slowly leaned in making you back up. “Mingi you are drunk please don’t do this.” Mingi didn’t reply but only stared at you features. Leaning in once again you finally let Mingi kiss you, his hands grabbed your waist pulling you closer to him. That moment you decided to let go, you wanted this, you wanted to feel him for the first time. Excitement filled you as Mingi rip off you shirt showing your bra. “So soft.” Mingi whispered making you blush, his hands traced your body as he kissed your shoulders. His scent was addicting, the manly smell was making you drunk. That night Mingi gave love to you and you let him, your first time was from Mingi. Morning has come, Mingi had his arms wrapped around you. Your legs was sore from that night, opening your eyes you faced Mingi who was still asleep. Caressing his cheeks you were glad to see him again, your alarm began ringing making you jump to turn it off, Mingi had already woken up. “What happened?” You raise an eyebrow at Mingi who seemed confused. “What do you mean?” Mingi messed up his hair sighing multiple times. “I messed up.” Your heart drop. “Did you not want this?” You ask scared for his reply. “I-I don’t remember anything.” Getting up you wrapped yourself in your blanket as Mingi put on his clothes on. “I have to go.” Mingi said quickly putting on his shoes. “Where are you going?” You ask grabbing onto his wrist. “I made a mistake Y/N, I didn’t mean to sleep with you. I have a girlfriend.” Tears filled your eyes as you look away. “Y-you are saying you didn’t mean for this to happen? You have a girlfriend already too.” You were disappointed, getting your hopes up after Mingi said he missed you. “Lets forget this happened ok?” Mingi said grabbing your hand. “Just go.” You avoid eye contact as Mingi quickly walk out. “Lets talk later.” Tears filled your eyes, how dumb and easy you were. “I guess I was the only one who wanted it.” You sobbed on your bed. After that Mingi haven’t contacted you even though he wanted to talk. You had missed your period and was getting scared that you might be pregnant, your parents sent you off to college for you to become successful but you will have to go back and say that you are pregnant. Your hands shook holding onto the pregnancy test, positive…
#ateez smut#ateez mingi#ateez hongjoong#ateez jongho#ateez san#ateez seonghwa#ateez wooyoung#ateez yunho#ateez#ateez yeosang
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one last time
in which Y/N and Harry have been distant for some time now, and Y/N sees it as an impending end to their marriage
Warnings: angst HA, smut
~~~~~~~~~~
Silent mornings, empty dining tables, the sound of the door closing at 3 AM. That was the new normal, and Y/N hated it.
Harry was always out. Always at the studio, always away on trips to other countries, always not home.
Y/N was always in their bedroom, reminiscing on the good times, remembering when their marriage felt like they were both floating on air, so in love it felt like a fairytale.
But this was reality, and reality rarely had happy endings. So when Harry has actually come home at an early time for once, Y/N didn’t know why, maybe the guilt of never seeing his wife even though they had only gotten married a year before, but she decided to use it to her advantage. Y/N wanted to know what it felt like to touch him for the last time.
She wasn’t prepared, and Harry had seemed off like he had been for the last couple of weeks. She thought he might have cheated on her, but she had no proof.
Y/N started by greeting him in their walk in closet, Harry changing out of the clothes he had worn out for the day. While his shirt was off, Y/N sauntered in. She approached him and ran her fingertips along his chest, all the way down and then grasped his length with her hand.
He gasped, surprised by the hold. He groaned as he watched her hand squeezing him, his cock turning firmer by the second.
“What are you doing?” He breathed, they hadn’t been intimate in a few weeks. It was the longest they had ever gone without having sex. Before the distance, they had gone at it like rabbits. There wasn’t any other way.
“One last time, H. Please.” Y/N whispered, begged, pleaded because she had to have him just this one last time. Harry was confused about her words, but his head was clouded with lust and Y/N, and he was stunned into silence, only could nod his head as an answer.
Y/N knelt down to her knees in front of him, unzipping and pulling down the corduroy orange pants, leaving him only in his boxers. His cock created a tent in them, and Y/N couldn’t remember the last time she had sucked him off. A month or so maybe?
She pulled his boxers off and watched as his length sat straight up for her, the bead of precum appearing at the tip. God, she missed this. She looked up at him to see him staring down intensely at her, waiting for her next movements.
Her tongue hesitantly reached out to swipe at the tip, and the darkness of his eyes pulled the confidence from deep within her, and she wrapped her lips around him, swirling her tongue over him, and sucking him deep and hard. Her hand grasped what she couldn’t take, her head bobbing up and down for him and he had to grip the closet panel to keep himself balanced. It felt so good, it felt so familiar, it felt like home.
She hummed, and the sound reverberated throughout his dick, making it twitch and making Harry thrust his hips up, moving it further down her throat and fucked her mouth nice and slow.
Harry leaned his head back, murmuring praises for his wife’s great work and gripped the side of her head, rubbing his thumb along her cheek where his cock lay. He pulled her head up and down, and they both knew he was close when he started moaning a little louder and started fucking her throat a little harder.
“Fuck, Y/N, ah, baby. I’m gonna cum, gonna cum down your pretty little throat. Fuck!” She started moving faster, feeling him reach his peak and when she started fondling his balls, he released into her mouth.
“Fuck! You’re so good, darling, fuck..” He leaded his head back against the wall and sighed out. Y/N popped off and swallowed his cum, smiling at his expression.
“Come here.” He whispered his command, Y/N obediently rising up to him and he kissed her hard and passionately.
“What did I do to deserve that, hm?”
“Missed that so much, H. Want you to fuck me now.” Harry didn’t miss the lust in her eyes. And he almost frowned. He had deprived her of what she had craved for for weeks now, maybe he couldn’t give her all of what she wants, but fucking her he could do.
He reached down and grabbed her legs, hoisting her up and hearing her shriek in surprise. He was bringing her to their large bed where he could make love to her all night long.
Laying her down on their bed, he stripped her of her tank top and tiny shorts, Harry pressing kisses all over her body.
He started moving lower to kick at her pretty cunt, when Y/N stopped him. He looked up at her and she shook her head.
“Just want you to fuck me.” He hesitated but nodded and got up, bringing the tip of his dick and moved it up and down her pussy, getting the tip wet from her juices.
He leaned forward onto her so their chests were touching, she kissed him and he reciprocated, their tongues moving together and she gasped out as he entered her for the first time in weeks.
He paused when he bottomed out, his voice raspy and restrained when he asked if she was alright.
“Yeah- just, one second.” Her eyes squeezed shut and Harry pressed kisses to her eyelids. When the pain subsided, she nodded and he pulled back his hips before thrusting back in, making them both moan out in ecstasy.
Y/N was gonna miss this. Miss their synchronized movements, miss their intimate touches, miss his moans and groans and praises that he would whisper into her ear. She would miss grasping his muscles, miss raking her nails down his back, miss the way he pounded into her. She would miss the way he pushed in deeper as she muttered her own praises into his ear, miss how he shuts his eyes and moans her name when she pulls his hair back. Most of all she would just miss him.
And when they both reached their peaks, Harry laid on top of Y/N for a moment. They were catching their breaths and she rubbed the back of his head.
“I will always love you, H.” Y/N pressed a kiss to the top of his forehead, and Harry didn’t see the tears that left her eyes. He only kissed the top of her left breast before breathing out and laying down beside her, eyes closed and the sounds of Y/N’s breathing lulling him to sleep. Y/N admired him for a moment, before succumbing to sleep as well, smiling softly at the man who would forever hold her heart, even if they weren’t together anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~
uh yeah this was my first time writing smut on here and of course had to add that ANGST! if you want a part 2 to this with maybe a happy ending or sad yanno just lemme know :)))
#harry styles smut#harry styles imagine#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x reader#harry styles angst#harry styles one shit#harry styles imagines
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satori - park chanyeol
⇢ prompt Let’s make it forever.—sequel to greatest gift
⇢ pairing chanyeol x female reader
⇢ word count 14.3k
⇢ genre fluff & smut
⇢ warnings explicit sexual content, small dirty talk, fingering, oral (f receiving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms (just 3 don’t get excited), unprotected sex, creampie, mild cumplay?, i think that’s all this is basically pwp but somehow 14k words
⇢ summary It’s been a little more than two years since you and Chanyeol started dating and you have never been so happy. Perhaps you are just blinded by love, but things are perfect and you cannot help but think it has something to do with having the love of your life always by your side. You also cannot help but think this kind of love lasts forever.—established relationship!au
⇢ a/n ok i really wasn’t planning on writing a sequel to greatest gift but then like 1 person asked me to & then i was inspired by 170727 kokobop chanyeol watch the fancam dudes that’s the exact outfit he wears in this & have been listening to forever religiously & really just wanted to write pcy saying ‘nice skirt’ so here we are. u don’t need to read greatest gift to read this but u will have more background info ab characters & relationships. ok that’s all from me, i really spilled my heart out into this one & am very proud so i hope u love satori as much as i do! ♥︎
In the midst of your monotonous Pinterest scrolling, the unlocking and opening of the front door tears your attention away from the video that so enticingly grasps your attention, no matter how badly you wish it to finish. Glancing up, you first look to the television, where your fourth episode of Property Brothers drones on, flickering light into the otherwise dark room. Then, it is Toben who catches your eye, head lifting from his position by your feet at the sound of the door clicking shut. So quick is he to abandon you, excitedly leaping down from the sofa to greet his human. In all honesty, you do not blame him; he simply is not as lazy as you are on this dreary Friday night.
Well, perhaps not so dreary anymore. Sure, the unremitting, hazy rain and grey clouds beyond the warm confines of your apartment beg to differ, but inside, the sun itself has entered.
“You know what’s sad?” You call out to him, lips quirked in amusement.
“What?” He answers from down the hall, followed by the rustle of his jacket as he hangs it onto the coat rack. The familiar deepness of his voice alone is enough to put you at ease; instantly, you feel like putty against the pillow propped beside you when you imagine his humored smile. At the sound of Toben’s nails scratching against the hardwood as he scurries back into the room, you take one last lingering glimpse to the video that has been playing on loop on your phone.
“I don’t know how to tie a tie.”
Making his way down the foyer, he laughs. Barely a low chuckle, mostly out of confusion at your out-of-the-blue statement, but this makes you crack a smile nonetheless.
“Why should you know how to tie a tie?”
You know he is finally here without having to look up. You can feel it, the way his presence beckons for your attention effortlessly, tugging at the strings of your heart and the cords to your soul. The way the room seems to instantly grow warmer, brighter, the way just seeing his frame, tall and regal in your peripheral vision, is enough to have your legs quivering with the need to have him closer. “I don’t know,” you snort, turning to look at him at last, “wouldn’t it be cute if I did your tie before we went out?”
“___, how often do we go places where a tie is necessary?” Chanyeol muses, though you don’t exactly pay any mind to his reasoning. It’s not that you are ignoring him, you’re just… taking time to engrave this image in your mind, just like every other day. He’s beautiful, you distantly note, the epitome of your dreams standing at the entrance of the living room like a beacon, blue light from the TV flashing against his oversized olive-green sweatshirt and hair falling in floofy curls over his forehead. His hair.
His hair.
Somewhere in between you slowly blinking at him in the dark and leaning forward to turn the light on, he asks how your day was. Now, this goes ignored, brain preoccupied trying to fully process the fact that his hair is pink.
“You— what? When?” Overlooking his question, you sputter, “I thought you were at work!”
Amused at your baffled astonishment, Chanyeol kicks his sneakers off near the shoe rack before making his way over, stifling a laugh at your rendered silence. “Do you like it?” He asks, scooping your legs up from the sofa so he can crash down close beside you, quickly laying them over his lap.
Pinterest ‘how to tie a tie’ video long forgotten, you toss your phone onto the coffee table and lean forward, grasping his face in both hands in order to lower the crown of his head to your nose. With only a single inhale, the accumulative scent of bleach and hair dye and everything salon nearly has your eyes watering before you drop your hands. At that, you lean back far enough to fully admire him in the light, cheeks and lips puffy from a long day, skin glowing with the remnants of misty rain, but the hair. Oh good God, the hair. A shade somewhere in between bubblegum pink and your favorite lip gloss, it has your insides alight with butterflies in seconds.
“And here I thought you couldn’t get any more handsome,” you finally sigh, burying your face into your palms. The anxiety that had begun fizzing in his nerves from your scrutinizing is immediately extinguished, replaced with a fresh wave of pride to his ego and, well, absolute adoration for you.
“Is that a yes?” Chanyeol laughs, loud and boisterous as he bends to awkwardly lie against you, paying no mind to the way the furniture creaks as he wiggles his way into the small space. “Duh,” you scoff, moving your arm so he can better nestle his long ass self between your legs, “I thought red was my favorite, but now I’m not so sure.” When he laughs again, you feel it in your soul, the vibrations resonating within you and you can’t help but wrap your arms around his shoulders, tugging him closer. Once he’s caught on that you desperately, always, crave for such proximity, Chanyeol instantly shimmies his way up, dimple prominent when you cup his face one more time to press a welcoming kiss first to his forehead, then his nose, then his lips. “I missed you.”
“I bet I missed you more,” he replies once satisfied five kisses later, turning his head to rest against his favorite pillow, aka your chest. Knowing you will never win in any such argument like this with him, you bite your tongue and take to combing your fingers through the freshly colored strands of hair, cringing at the thought that it won’t be this soft after he’s washed it. “So, what made you do this?”
He shrugs, half of his attention paid toward the renovation reveal displayed on the TV. “Thought I’d switch it up for Easter, so I just went before heading to the studio.”
“What did Jongdae think?” You wonder with a laugh. Out of all Chanyeol’s friends, Jongdae was never one to go for the extravagant hair colors. Orange was the extent of his spectrum, and even that was short-lived. “Said he liked it, then called me an Easter egg, so who knows,” he grumbles, clearly troubled by his friend’s lack of an immediate, one hundred percent approval. This in itself is enough to make you laugh, but you choose to change the subject for the sake of Chanyeol’s immeasurable ego. “Speaking of,” you hum, enamored with just the sliver of his face you can see from this angle, “how’s the album going?”
“It’s good,” Chanyeol hums, chin digging into your sternum when he turns to look at you once more, “Jongdae is gonna start recording on Monday.” As he says this, he stretches his arms above your head before flopping them down by your sides, one cold hand sneaking under the hem of your crew neck to splay against the warmth of your back. Now, this is mutualism at its finest: with the two of you seemingly always running at an internal temperature too high, you both are feens for a cold touch once in awhile. So, as Chanyeol gets to warm his hands up, you, too, benefit with the coolness against your burning skin. It also may have to do with that time he had ice cubes against your—
You shake your head to rid the tantalizing memory.
“I’m so excited to hear it,” you whisper without meaning to, perhaps reduced to mush at your current intimacy, “with his voice, knowing you wrote the majority of the album. Ah, it’s gonna be beautiful.” Pushing his bangs back and giving his scalp a good scratch all the way to the nape of his neck, you add with a wrinkle of your nose, “I wish it was you, though.”
Chanyeol lets out an amused snort, one eye peeled open to glare at you for disrupting the drowsy daze you have cast him under. “But you already have my singing all to yourself, you don’t need an album,” he mutters, voice marbled with sleep and your fingers twitch with the need to trace the swell of his pouty lips. You do it, anyway, and receive a chaste kiss to the pad of your thumb in return.
“How was the museum?” He asks nearly ten minutes later, stirring just slightly to stretch the arm not curled around you up and past your head. You were under the impression he was fast asleep if the shallowness of his breath was anything to go by. Perhaps not. “Slow Friday, as usual,” you sigh, aching to stretch, too, now that the weight of having a grown ass man on you has finally taken its toll, “had a live animal show with the barn owl and Branch, again.”
“Branch is the new opossum, right?” Chanyeol questions, suddenly pushing himself up enough to sit back on his heels. He must have noticed your stiffness. Offering him an appreciative smile, you lean up and fluff the now squashed pillow beneath you before flopping back down on your side. “Yeah,” you hum, pulling him down to rejoin you, “he’s cute. Imprinted, too, so he loves cuddles. Almost as much as you.” It’s awfully cramped with your back pressed up against the leather and Chanyeol flush against you, but you would never complain about having him so close. You usually can’t get close enough.
“I’ll never forget the raccoons. They were so cute,” Chanyeol hums, reminiscent to the singular time your boss allowed you to sneak him in to meet all of the museum’s disabled animals. With his hipbone pressed against the curve of your stomach, he slots one long leg between your own, surely building his nest even though he should eat and shower before getting comfortable. “That was fun,” you agree, pausing for just a moment when his hand, large enough to cradle half of your face, comes to do so. “They were hella messy though, ugh,” grumbling, you return his previous gesture and press a kiss to the palm of his hand when his thumb goes about running along your bottom lip, “I’ll never forget the time Lavender shit in their enclosure asI was cleaning it.”
Chanyeol frowns, brows quickly drawing together and the sudden change in his expression certainly throws you off guard. “Don’t talk about raccoon shit when I’m about to kiss you,” he murmurs, leaning up on one elbow to ever so slightly hover over you.
“Oh?” You chuckle, dragging your hands up the ridges of muscle in his arms to link behind his neck. “I didn’t know that was your plan.” Like this, you still can’t fight your smile at just how well the pink hair compliments the warmth of his honey complexion.
Lips jutting out in a deeper pout, Chanyeol slips his hand under your shirt to grab ahold of your waist. “That’s always my plan,” he sighs longingly, finally swooping down to capture your lips in a kiss powerful enough for the world around you to fall away.
When you wake, you come to realize three abnormalities.
First, your pillow is not where it should be. Flat on your stomach and limbs spread like a starfish, you raise your head just enough to catch the corner of said pillow staring at you sadly from the floor below.
Second, you are cold. This, you have no one to blame but yourself, having torn your clothes off in a hurry and fallen asleep soaked in the warmth of one another. Now, with the blankets only coming up mid-back, you cannot fight your shivers at the cold air against your bare skin.
And lastly, Chanyeol is still awake.
It takes several moments for you to come to your senses, feeling as if you have awoken from a season long hibernation, the haze and confusion of having abruptly awakened rendering you incompetent when it comes to gathering your wits for several moments. Finally, once you have realized where you are, you first take to wiping at the drool that has pooled directly onto the sheets and, consequently, crusted onto your cheek. Nice. Pausing just a moment to collect your disoriented thoughts once more, you then lean half your body off the bed to retrieve your pillow with a grunt, and, just a little further away, your shirt. On your way back up, you catch the time on your nightstand shining an angry 2:43 am at you.
“What are you still doing up?” You ask, voice groggy and thick with sleep once you have flopped onto your back, chest heaving with the unnecessary effort you just had to exert in the middle of your weekend slumber. Squinting past the shine of the bedside lamp he’s kept on and the bright screen of his laptop, you recline just enough to see that he’s… online shopping?
“Baekhyun showed me this really cool site for colored contacts,” Chanyeol explains, then, after turning to you with furrowed brows and a worried pout, “did I wake you?”
God, you’re confused, brain in no state to try and figure out why he’s looking at colored contacts at almost three in the morning when he had fallen asleep with you no more than four hours ago. “No, no… well, actually, I don’t know, I think I just woke up on my own,” you murmur, sitting up to pull the crew neck over your head, “why… why are you looking at contacts, again?”
The rasp of his chuckle is enough to draw you closer, rolling to meet his side and pressing your cheek against his shoulder. “Baekhyun said blue contacts with pink hair is a good look, so I’m gonna order a pair,” he whispers, lifting his arm despite your grumble of protest to curl around your shoulders and tug you close. The white light from his laptop is a bit too harsh on your eyes, but you manage to keep one half open to peek at the selection. Then, “You’re so weird. Go to bed.”
“I will, after I order,” he whispers for the sake of letting you fall back asleep, yet you can hear the smile in his voice. “Yeah, whatever,” you grunt, turning onto your other side but still latching onto his arm, “get me a pair, too.”
For the brief time in between living with college roommates and then moving with Chanyeol, sleeping in on Saturday mornings in the comfort of your own apartment was always your favorite. No obligations, no work, and certainly no one to disturb you. Whether you finally rolled out of bed at ten, one, or four o’clock--- it didn’t matter. If you had plans at night, you still had plenty of time to get ready and you were in a much better mood to socialize than the other days of the week. Sleeping in on Saturdays till whatever time deemed sufficient simply brings about a whole new level of comfort and consists of several factors at the root of such leisure.
This list certainly became askew, however, once you and Chanyeol began spending nights with one another. Before, simply waking to a quiet apartment, ceiling fan humming and sunlight trickling through the bottom of your blinds was your favorite part of the week. But waking up with the love of your life curled into you certainly makes this experience all the better. And at this point, it seems as if waking up with the warmth of Chanyeol’s breath against the nape of your neck will remain at the top of your list forever.
So, for that to be absent is enough to startle you into an upright position only seconds after you have opened your eyes. Palm coming to slap against the deserted Chanyeol-indented space of mattress beside you, you stroke up and down the sheets, once, twice, before the lingering warmth on the pillow and sheets eases your nerves. Spinning to catch the time, you squint as if that will kickstart the drowsy parts of your brain to comprehend 12:37 pm and all the possible reasons why he is not here with you before tossing the blankets aside and rising with a much-needed stretch.
Shielding your eyes from the sunlight seeping in from between the blinds, you first reach for your underwear tossed haphazardly by the window before half-shimmying them up your legs and half-hopping to the door. Perhaps he’s in the office, you wonder, stepping into the foyer but alas, the door remains open and the lights off. Just as you’ve wandered into the living room, scratching by the front door to the right of you is immediately followed by the lock clicking open and, seconds later, Chanyeol has returned.
You’re a little thrown off. Sweatpants, wrinkled t-shirt, moccasins, and a terribly cute case of bedhead, it seems as if he just rolled out of bed seconds prior. But in his hands, he holds two full grocery bags and Toben’s leash.
“Good morning,” he smiles softly, eyes puffy with sleep. Yep, definitely just woke up. “Mom called,” he explains, lifting the bags before passing them to you so he can unhook Toben, “said something about… someone else not being able to cook a main for tomorrow... so she asked if we could do the Easter bread and brought all the stuff for it.” He explains as you rummage through the groceries. Milk, yeast, a carton of eggs; all things you have here, but Mrs. Park’s kindness never fails to surprise you. “Ah,” humming, you make way for the kitchen counter to set everything down, “I was very confused.”
“Sorry,” joining you in the kitchen, Chanyeol curls an arm around your waist and tugs you closer to kiss your temple, “I didn’t want to wake you.” Lining all the dry ingredients up for later, you hand him the rest to put in the refrigerator. “Well, thank you,” flashing him an appreciative smile, you finally take to rubbing your eyes as it seems you won’t be going back to bed anytime soon, “do you want anything to eat? I can make eggs if you make pancakes.” Crust sufficiently wiped from your eyes, you lean against the cabinets and glance to Chanyeol, soaking in the way he seems to glow in the sunlight illuminating him and the messy curls of pink hair. Ugh. He’s the worst.
“Breakfast sounds good,” he agrees, gaze flickering down to your bare legs for hardly a second before taking two short steps closer and suddenly, you’re not so sure he means eggs and pancakes if the way his eyes darken is anything to go by.
“You should probably put some pants on, first,” Chanyeol rumbles with a thoughtful rise of his brows, one hand anchoring onto the curve of your waist while another dips into the waistband of your panties before letting it slap back against your skin.
Despite the burning desire that flares in your abdomen at the daring move, you jut your chin out, eyeing him contentiously. “Oh! You’re right,” smirking, you force yourself to avoid making eye contact in order to calmly slip out of his grip, “let me go grab some sweats.”
You’ve hardly made it to the dining table by the time he’s back on you, reaching for your wrist and spinning you to meet his chest. At the near growl that escapes him, you quite literally quiver from head to toe. “So funny, I forgot to laugh,” Chanyeol grumbles, gripping the back of your thighs to help you onto the wood before diving in to kiss you.
It quite literally sucks the life out of you, but then again, that’s every kiss with him. “I thought it was pretty funny,” you giggle before he really has you loopy on the taste of him, but it doesn’t take long for your jaw to slacken, allowing him further access. So quickly you fall under his spell, fingers curling into the hairs at the nape of his neck and legs coming to wrap around his waist when the kiss turns into nothing more than a clash of teeth and tongue. It doesn’t take long for him to rid you of your shirt, either, or have you lying back before him as he places hot, open-mouthed kisses all the way down from your throat to the waistband of your underwear. Christ, this poor table.
Good thing this is the only such meal ever eaten here.
Out of fear that he would stop once you mentioned anything, you have never complimented Chanyeol on his shower singing. Sure, you have heard him loud and clear throughout your home and sometimes even when he’s secluded in his office, but something tells you singing in the shower is different. You wouldn’t necessarily call it an invasion of privacy considering no such privacy exists in your relationship by now, but you simply do not want to mention it because knowing him, he subconsciously will either sing quieter or amp it up knowing you are listening in. And you don’t want him to change what he’s already doing.
With your back facing the bathroom door, you remain in the same position Chanyeol left you in, on your side with your head on his pillow rather than your own. You should probably get out of bed soon, anyway, the colon between the ten and forty-three on the clock blinking at you in judgment, but listening to Chanyeol sing along to a fourth Radiohead song with the luxurious smell of him around you is a much better alternative. You have plenty of time to get ready, you tell yourself, nestling deeper into the pillow, only seconds before Chanyeol’s singing ceases as he turns the water off. Frowning, you take this as your cue to give up any possible five-minute nap and return to your side of the bed to retrieve your phone.
“Are you up?” Chanyeol calls from behind the door just as you have opened up Instagram. “Yeah!”
He opens the door at your confirmation, showering steam and light into the otherwise cave-like bedroom. “I’m gonna have to leave soon,” Chanyeol says once you have rolled over to look him, towel wrapped snuggly around his hips and Q-tip in ear, “Mom is in her usual panic and asked if I could help her out.” Frowning, you flop onto your back, staring up at the ceiling. “What ever am I to do without you for two and a half hours?”
“I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” he hums, making his way over and leaning over you, arms coming to rest at each side of your head. You twitch when a droplet of water running down his jaw falls onto your cheek. “G’morning, by the way,” he mumbles against your lips after coming closer and you graciously return the soft kiss he offers you. Of course, you pull him back for a second, much deeper one, smiling when he ever so slightly shifts when your fingers come to trail up the toned expanse of his stomach, hand coming to cradle his jaw.
You pull back with a sly smile when his tongue threatens to push past the seam of your lips. “Do you know what you’re wearing?” You ask, ignoring the betrayed look in his eyes when you sit up and nudge him out of the way. “No,” he grumbles, returning to the bathroom once he realizes he is not getting anything more than a kiss. Stifling a laugh, you swing your legs over and sit on the edge of the mattress, watching him comb product through his hair. After two showers, it already seems to have lost its initial pop of color. Sad.
Rising with a stretch, you head toward the closet and stop along the way to pull a pair of sweatpants up your legs—just so he doesn’t get any ideas—and flip the closet light on before opening the doors. At the sound of the hairdryer roaring to life, you take to sifting through the shirts he has hung up, trying to avoid the blacks as this is his family’s annual Easter get-together. It certainly is not as extravagant as Christmas, but Chanyeol is a man of style and you know he prides himself showing up as best dressed. Going something pastel would be a nice change for the spring season, but yet again… you linger on a navy button-up. The white decal means he could wear white pants, but it is a little casual, barely a step up from a Hawaiian shirt, but maybe he could wear a nice jacket with it.
Plucking it by the hanger, you turn toward the bathroom and hold the seemingly unworn shirt out to him as he moves to the last section of damp hair. “This, with white pants? Do you have a jacket this color?” You shout over the hairdryer, reaching to brush away a tuft of hair falling in his eyes. Chanyeol considers it for a moment, gaze flickering back to his reflection before nodding to you. “Yeah, in the other closet, though. Thank you,” you just barely hear him but smile nonetheless, stealing the dryer from him to direct the hot air toward the back where hair refuses to lay flat.
Passing it back to him when you’re done, he only does one more run through before switching it off and moving on to gel just to assure the hair he has combed back stays up and away from his forehead. “You look really handsome with it parted like that,” you compliment, staring up at him with wide eyes and you mentally slap yourself at how flustered you sound. Dating for over two years and you still can’t get a grip. The look on his face makes your embarrassment worth it, though. “I had no idea how the back looked, so thank you,” Chanyeol chuckles, rinsing residue gel off his hands before unplugging the hairdryer and ushering you back into your bedroom. Not without another kiss, of course. As a treat.
Hooking the hanger with his shirt onto the doorknob of the closet, you take to undressing as he does the opposite, tossing your sleep apparel to the hamper and only stopping to help him redo the buttons of his shirt he so kindly misaligned. “I’m gonna get in the shower,” you hum, goosebumps coming in waves when his hand comes to glide against your bare skin, starting at your waist, up the curve of your breast, over your collarbones and finally cradling your neck, “I’ll see you in a little bit?”
“Yes ma’am,” he affirms, ducking to peck the corner of your mouth, “I’ll get an Uber so you can have the car?”
“No! You drive, don’t you have to pick stuff up? I’ll Uber,” you offer, wrapping your arms around him and blinking up at him with your chin sitting on his chest. When he shakes his head you realize, as usual, there’s no point in arguing. “It’s fine,” Chanyeol grins, pinching your side, “no one else gets to drive my girl but me.” Rolling your eyes to counteract the heat that flares its way up your neck, you pull away, smoothing out the wrinkles you made in his shirt. “Yeah, whatever. Don’t forget a jacket.”
“I won’t,” smiling, he leans over to give you a proper kiss this time, “see you at two.”
Once the Park family, as well as distant relatives and close friends, found out you and Chanyeol were together, things certainly changed.
You were no longer simply Seoyun’s best friend. Everyone knew you at that point, sure, accepted the fact that where Seoyun went, you followed, but dating Chanyeol had all the stage lights pointing to you. You couldn’t necessarily understand why that came to be, but assumed that it simply had to do with how popular he is, even in his own family. For someone not nearly as outgoing as Chanyeol, the news came as a surprise to many on that monumental Christmas party two years ago. Others, however, apparently had their bets on when the two of you would finally crumble for years.
Chanyeol’s mother, for example, was one such person.
For as many things that went wrong this morning, from your straightener not heating past one-fifty, to having a breakdown over what to wear, and even messing up your eyeliner one too many times, you have somehow arrived seven minutes early. Before you left, Chanyeol had called, too, asking you to pick up two bottles of soju and a bag of glass noodles because 1) him and his cousins already managed their way through a bottle and 2) the noodle pack his mom picked up was half the serving she needed. This alone tells you you’re in for a long night.
Christ, it would have been nice if he was here to open the door for you, though. With a heavy grocery bag, wrapped Easter bread, keys, and handbag threatening to slip off your shoulder, it takes ample effort to safely hook your pinkie finger around the grocery bag so you can lock the car. Then, you manage to open the storm door with your elbow, seconds away from dropping the Easter bread in the endeavor. Chanyeol claims he forgot it on the counter. Luckily, the maroon front door with its pretty spring wreath has been left ajar, and it isn’t until you have finally slipped your way inside does someone realize whoever’s huffing and puffing out there needs help.
“Here, I’ll take this,” he offers in a rush, further opening the door to accommodate the two of you and taking the bread from your arms.
“Thank you,” you smile, wiping your boots on the welcome mat before looking up to your knight in shining armor.
Oh. Oh.
“I don’t think I’ve met you before,” you chuckle, squinting at the ridiculously attractive stranger. Phew. There’s no way you would have missed such a face in all your years with the Park family whether Chanyeol was the apple of your eye or not.
“No, you haven’t. This is my first rodeo around here,” he grins brightly. His smile makes him even more attractive, if that is possible. “I’m Jongin. Nice to meet you…?”
Oh. Oh.
“Jongin, as in Kim Jongin Park Seoyun’s boyfriend?”
“Yes…?” He trails off awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. “You apparently know me, yet I don’t know you.”
“I’m ___,” you laugh, stepping past him and leading him out of the front foyer. When you glance back at him, you can see the gears turning in his brain before an excited expression of recognition flashes across his face. “Oh! Oh, shit. You’re the infamous ___. Christ, sorry. Hi.”
“I’m not sure why you’re apologizing, but then again, I have no idea what that woman has said about me,” laughing, you pause to wave to some of Chanyeol’s cousins in the family room before continuing with Jongin to the kitchen, “don’t trust anything she says. I promise I’m nice. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, though, Mr. Jongin.”
“Ah, you as well,” smiling softly, he seems quite overwhelmed at the Park’s rowdiness, gaze anxiously flickering around the crowded room as he ever so slightly steps closer. You distantly wonder why Seoyun would leave him stranded, but that’s not your problem. “So, if you are ___, does that mean you’re…”
Like some sort of cartoon, Jongin trails off just as both of you find Chanyeol in the crowd, beer in one hand and bowl in another as his mother deposits what looks like mussel and scallop shells into it. Maybe it’s your automatic Chanyeol-tunnel-vision, but even in the midst of the busy room he seems to be the rising star, standing tall and regal by the counter, laugh booming over all the noise and simply glowing in the warm wash of light. He managed to find a navy jacket practically matching his shirt, too. Dear God. “Yeah,” once you finally tear your gaze away to turn to Jongin, he’s already watching you, smiling at the way you so lovingly looked at Chanyeol. “I’m the lucky lady.”
“Hey, he’s the lucky one,” Jongin adds, nudging you with his elbow. Seoyun certainly got a good one. “Speaking of lucky,” you start, craning your neck to search for said girl, “where’s S—”
“___!”
You are so kindly interrupted by your intoxicated boyfriend shouting for you across the room. Flushing in embarrassment and trying to ignore all the heads that turn in your direction at the sudden announcement of your arrival, you reclaim the Easter bread from Jongin’s arm, offering him an appreciative bow. “I’ll catch up with you later. Tell Seoyun I was looking for her.”
At his affirmative smile, you suck in a deep breath before spinning around and maneuvering your way to where Chanyeol and his mother stand by the oven. “I was wondering where you were,” he greets, setting his beer down to take the bread and soju from your hands before squashing your nose in a deep kiss that his mother and family really did not need to see. Blinking at him in surprise, you don’t even bother asking him what the hell that was about and turn toward Mrs. Park instead, who has just finished wiping her hands before opening her arms for you.
“It’s wonderful to see you, love,” she hums when you wholeheartedly accept her embrace, arms coming to wrap around her. “You too, Ma,” pulling back just enough to look at her with a brow raised, “I hope he helped you enough before he started drinking, or do I need to have a talk with him?”
She laughs, plucking up a wooden spoon to stir what looks like kimchi stew. “No, he helped a great deal. Vacuumed before anyone arrived and helped make a few things with his sister,” she explains, gaze lighting up when you pull the pack of glass noodles from the grocery bag. “Oh! Thank you so much, dear. I was so angry when I saw how little was in my bag,” then, turning to yell out over her guests, “Yura! Come finish your japchae!”
“Go grab something to drink, ___. Dinner will be ready in an hour or so, there’s plenty of appetizers out already. Thank you, again,” Mrs. Park grins brightly at you, squeezing your hand before returning to chopping vegetables. Crumbling the plastic grocery bag in your hand, you turn to Chanyeol who appears to be deep in conversation with a couple standing across from him, but you can tell by the way he keeps grazing over the appetizers on the counter next to him and avoiding eye contact that he is in desperate need of an escape. This being said, he still jolts in surprise when you return to his side, one hand curling around his bicep as the other glides down his arm to intertwine your fingers with his. The woman droning on pauses her chatter at this, the corner of her lip twitching up and she takes this as her cue to move on, offering the two of you a wink before dragging her husband, assumingly, out to the back patio.
“Ugh, thank you,” Chanyeol grins once the door shuts behind them, looking down at you with puckered lips, “I missed you.” Snorting, you let go of his arm to move to the now open spot beside him, eyeing all the pickies laid out in front of you. “Was going to make fun of you, but I missed you, too, so it looks like we’re both clowns,” you sigh, grabbing a fork to stab into a slice of mozzarella. Chanyeol stays quiet, opting to fondly watch you instead, smile only growing when you try one of everything. “Oh,” you remember, pausing to swallow the last bit of spicy chicken, “I’m glad you found a jacket. You look great.” You kiss the tips of your fingers, waving them just for emphasis.
Chanyeol’s grin is instantaneous, stretching his arms in front of him and literally checking himself out in front of you. You’re not judging, of course— if you looked half as good as him all the time, you would do the same. Plus, navy does wonders against his skin tone. “Thank you,” arm curling around you, he gives your side an affectionate squeeze, “you don’t look too bad yourself.”
Smiling at his compliment, you continue to make your way through the appetizers. Plucking up a cube of cheese, it isn’t until you have bitten half do you realize your mistake. “Ew,” you cough, sticking your tongue out as if that will rid your taste buds of the sharp provolone flavor. Nose wrinkling, you hold the other half out to him, “Here, you like fancy shit like this.” What you certainly do not expect is for him to go right ahead and bite the cheese straight from your fingers, lips just barely wrapping around your thumb. Despite the way your stomach swoops at the action and the way he stands back to his full height, lids hooded and gaze dark, your first instinct is to look around you, heart racing at the thought of one of Chanyeol’s aunts or uncles watching him eat cheese from between your fingers. Christ, it sounds even worse when you think about it.
Swallowing past the sudden dryness in your throat, you tell yourself you know this dance— you know how to handle Chanyeol just as much as he knows how to handle you. Slowly turning back to him, all you offer is a challenging rise of your brow before reaching for a different cheese, trying to ignore the way your pulse races just by having him close.
As you search for a cracker, perhaps even a pretzel, you see from the corner of your eye how disgruntled he is with your reaction, considering you with a flare of his nostrils and a pout of his bottom lip. Plan B, it is.
Squeezing your side harder, Chanyeol leans in close this time, brushing hair away from your ear with his other hand before whispering, “Nice skirt.” Now, this certainly nurses a much better effect, the richness and deepness of his voice alone dripping like chocolate into the very core of your being. It’s only a two-word compliment, yet you practically choke on your mouthful of food. When he tugs at the hem of the plaid wool skirt you wear, two thoughts momentarily cross your mind: 1) the compliment is nice, especially since you were worried it was a bit shabby looking but 2) he may just be saying that to get a rise out of you.
“Thanks,” you murmur, summoning the courage to slide your palm from the waistband of his slacks, all the way up his chest to finally cup his jaw before standing on your tippy-toes, pushing yourself to meet his ear. The ball is in your court, now. “Bet you’d like it better if it was off, no?”
You don’t miss the way his breath hitches, grip on your waist tugging you closer and you distantly hope it simply looks at if the two of you are deep in conversation. Over cheese and whatnot, of course. “Don’t tempt me, ___,” Chanyeol hisses, “I’ve fucked you with my family just beyond a door, you know I’d gladly take you on the counter right now for everyone to see your pretty pussy.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Alarms. Panic. Shit, now you’re wet. What have you started? Maybe you don’t know how to handle Chanyeol as well as you think— he undoubtedly has your tongue tied now. You can’t even begin to think of a response that doesn’t involve tearing off the lace shirt you spent so long ironing for him to fulfill such an alluring threat. He must feel how you tremble against him, heat burning from the inside out and suddenly he’s withdrawing, regarding you with his own challenging brow raise, eyes dark with hunger as he awaits your response.
“Hey, Chanyeol! Stop hiding ___ from me!”
The relief you feel comes in cooling waves, jerking you out of your trance and you turn just in time to see Seoyun stop in front of you, finger jabbing into Chanyeol’s chest. “Can’t you back off for like, two seconds?” She barks, oblivious to his heavy breaths. Then, pulling Jongin who was hidden behind her to Chanyeol’s side, “You two, meet. Talk. Do the bro thing while I drink some mimosas with my girl.” Oh, good. You sure could use one of those. Or two. Or three.
Chanyeol puts his arms up in defense, glancing at Jongin who only shrugs in identical stupefaction. “Perfect! Okay, see you guys later. Don’t bother us, we have girl things to talk about,” Seoyun threatens, shooting a second cold glare to Chanyeol before softening up and smiling softly. Then, she’s dragging you toward the back door, hardly giving you time to look back at Chanyeol.
When you do, you know that threat won’t be forgotten easily.
After ‘dinner’ sometime around three-thirty, the hours start to blend together, four turning to six, and then all of a sudden, it’s eight o’clock. Family gatherings seemingly always go like this—when you were kids, this was time spent running around outside, about the house, playing games or opening presents (depending on the occasion). Now, this is when things mellow down; from chugging mimosas with Seoyun in the backyard, you now opt for wine, just to seem sophisticated, and the atmosphere is much calmer. Peak adulting, right here.
While many family and friends leave once the post-dinner sleepiness fades, close relatives remain, gathering together and using the time to share stories and life updates. These are always your favorite times with the Parks. And even though Chanyeol is on probation, sitting on another sofa across the room for the stunt he pulled earlier—no, the other stunt, where he held your thigh during dinner but kept inching up until his fingers brushed along your panties when his aunt was sitting right next to you—tonight, in particular, has been one of the best nights spent with your second family.
Every so often, usually when you are PMSing, a dreadful thought enters your mind and always returns whenever you are with Chanyeol’s family: you love them just as much as you love him. It was Seoyun, not Chanyeol, who introduced you to them first, and you have spent more than a decade growing up with them. It goes without explanation that you consider them as your own family now, too. So, what if you and Chanyeol broke up? You are an adult now, so it’s not like Seoyun would ask you to join her for the company like she had when you were kids, and it wouldn’t make sense for Chanyeol’s parents or aunts and uncles or grandparents to invite you… You would not only lose Chanyeol, but your family, too, and that’s enough to make any grown woman cry.
So, looking around the living room full of many people you have grown to love, you try to make the best of it. Not that you think you and Chanyeol are going to break up, no, but it is an inescapable fear that you will never be able to simply ignore.
But you can brush it aside for right now, at least— especially when you are curled into Mrs. Park’s side with Seoyun’s head on your lap.
“Are you guys gonna get married?” Your best friend asks, completely out of the blue. You just finished ranking your favorite teas, now we’re talking about marriage? “Um,” you cough, glancing up to Ma for help but she’s looking at you with an identical expectant rise of her brows. Must be a Park thing. Christ, what is this, the girl’s gossip table in fourth period lunch? Still… are you going to get married? You can’t necessarily answer that on your own. You have no idea what Chanyeol is planning for his future, sure, you’d like to get married, but you are also not in any rush, and—
“Yes,” is what you say, before your mind has even caught up. “Wait!” You quickly add on, smacking a palm to your forehead. Then, “Yes… I’d like to get married. But I don’t know if he wants to, and even if he does, we’re in no rush, he’s been busy producing and…” Trailing off, your gaze has somehow wound up to the ceiling, and when you glance back to them, their features have noticeably softened, eyes glossy with joy.
“I love him, a lot,” you say, quieter, gentler this time, zoning in on Chanyeol across the room and his pretty smile and the way the whole room seems to light up when he laughs. “If he wants to get married, I’ll marry him. And if he doesn’t… well, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll wait forever, for him.”
“My boy is more than in love with you, ___. You’re his whole world,” Mrs. Park says and when you tilt your head up at her, the look in her eyes suddenly makes you want to cry. Again. It’s from the wine, you tell yourself. “If he doesn’t put a ring on it soon, I’m gonna fuck his shit up,” Seoyun snaps, the alcohol in her system clearly doing the talking here as she stares absentmindedly up at the popcorn ceiling. Laughing, you slap a hand over your mouth, expecting Ma to reprimand her niece for such language in front of her. Instead, she joins in and soon enough, the combined laughter from the three of you has all of your earlier worries washed away.
“What’s so funny, ladies?” It’s Mr. Park here to interrupt this time, an amused smile forcing a dimple in his left cheek. “Ah, nothing, honey,” Ma coughs out one last giggle before reaching for her husband’s hand, giving it an affectionate squeeze. “Just making fun of Yeol.”
“Oh, my favorite. What did he do this time?”
“He hasn’t asked ___ to marry him yet,” Seoyun pipes up from your lap, head tilting further back so she can look at her uncle.
“Why do I keep hearing my name over there?” Chanyeol shouts, leaning up far too quickly from his relaxed position and you can tell by the way his head bobbles that he has had one too many drinks with his uncles and cousins. Looks like you better slow down if you want to get home safely. “Because you’re paranoid!” You shout back, scrunching your nose at him because you know he knows you’re right. Frowning, he motions with two fingers that he will be watching you before returning to his own conversation.
“So, you met Jongin,” Seoyun starts once Mr. and Mrs. Park have fallen into a separate discussion beside you. You’ve had this conversation twice, already, but you don’t mind having it again.
“I have,” you hum, softly adjusting the weight of her head on your thighs so you can sit more comfortably, “I can’t believe you guys have been friends since university and this is the first time I’m meeting him.”
“Well… it’s not like we hung out all that much. We haven’t been in touch for a while,” Seoyun mumbles, eyelids fluttering closed once you begin combing through her hair.
“I refuse to believe that. There’s no way you would have given up a man that good-looking.”
“Hey!” She grumbles, smacking your knee. “He was abroad senior year! And then life just kind of took over. He had a girlfriend for a while after graduation, too. We only started talking again when I bumped into him in Target last year.”
“Mhm, sure,” you hum, looking up to find him. Your heart does somersaults once you find him seated on the same sofa as Chanyeol, cool as a cucumber compared to how overwhelmed he seemed earlier. “I’m happy he seems so comfortable with the family. I’m happy for you, too.”
The playful gleam in her eyes softens as she leans up, sitting up to face you properly. Then, squeezing your hands, “I’m happy, too. Ever since you and Chanyeol started dating… I wanted what you had so, so bad. And I know we’ve only been together for five months, but I’ve never been so happy with someone.”
“Do you love him?” You whisper, searching her face when she turns to look at Jongin across the room. You can see it— the look in her eyes, the complete and utter adoration and admiration. You see it because you’ve felt it, too. You’ve felt it looking at Chanyeol, and you’ve felt it when he looks at you.
“I do. I love him a lot, actually,” Seoyun finally admits, turning back to you and for the first time in years, you see genuine tears trail down her cheeks. “Oh, no,” you hush, dabbing under her eyes to make sure her mascara doesn’t run, “shh, don’t cry. I know they’re happy tears but your makeup looks too good for that.” Pulling her into a hug, you cradle her head into your shoulder and hope no one is looking at her strangely.
“I know,” Seoyun hiccups, squeezing you tightly, “I’m just so drunk and happy for you and for me, I couldn’t help it.”
Laughing, you push her back before cupping her cheeks, wiping at the stray tears. “It’s alright. Crying when you’re happy is a good thing. It means you’re doing something right, Seoyun.” Smiling despite the wetness of her cheeks, she straightens up, dabbing away tears under her chin before cupping your face as well. “Thank you for being such an amazing best friend all these years,” Seoyun says, reaching forward and planting a hefty kiss to your lips, “but I think it’s time for us to go home. Show Jongin how much I really love him.”
When she stands, you’re still trying to process the unexpected kiss she just gave you but brush it aside for now, considering you’ve kissed plenty of times in your years of friendship. “Alright,” standing up after her, you give her one last hug, “text me when you get home.”
“I will. You have a good night too, ___. Chanyeol’s been eating you up alive for the past hour,” winking, Seoyun finally turns away to bid her farewells to the rest of her family. Speaking of Chanyeol… you step around Seoyun and make your way toward him, desperately trying to ignore the way his gaze travels slowly up your approaching form.
“Hey,” he greets when you reach him, tugging you by the wrist to sit on his lap. Luckily, the family surrounding him are turned the opposite direction toward the television, leaving your intimacy to go unnoticed. “Hi,” you return, arm draping over his shoulders and fingers burying into his hair. “You ready to head home?” Chanyeol asks, arms wrapping around you to pull you closer so he can nestle into the crook of your shoulder. “I’m ready when you are,” humming, you take to tracing patterns against the skin of his neck, resting your head atop his as your eyelids threaten to flutter shut.
Reaching for your other hand, Chanyeol brings it to his lips to kiss your knuckles. “Y’know, nothing makes me happier than seeing you cozied up with my mom.”
“Well, I think she was pretty impressed by our fantastic Easter bread.”
Snorting, he brings his head back to look at you. “It was pretty good,” he agrees. Then, cradling your jaw, “But it’s more than that. Having the two most important women in my life get along so well means so much to me, ___.” Bringing you closer, Chanyeol finally kisses you, soft and slow and when your eyes close, you feel right back at home, warm all over and overflowing with ardor. “Come on,” nuzzling the tip of your nose with his, “finish your drink and then let’s go home.”
“We need to plan things more often. Mom and I want to see you more than once a month,” was the last thing Mr. Park said to you before you left for the night.
“I love you very much, sweetie. Keep in touch,” Ma had whispered in your ear as you hugged her goodbye.
This is all you can think about as you drive home. Chanyeol was much drunker than he led on, so with him knocked out in the passenger seat, head against the window, you’re left to your own thoughts. The soft lo-fi Chanyeol begged to put on the radio before he passed out doesn’t help, either, but the overall peace and quiet is enough to have you dwelling over your night.
This week leading up to Easter has been especially rainy, too, and even now as you lower the cruise control to sixty-five, hazy rain begins to set on the windshield. Switching on the wipers, you steal a quick glance to Chanyeol who stirs once you move back into the middle lane. And as much as you want to reach over and hold his hand, you don’t want to disturb him.
Maybe it has to do with all the time spent catching up with Seoyun, but you’re left in an overly nostalgic, sentimental mood.
There was quite a lot of talk about love tonight. What Mrs. Park and Seoyun dumped on you about marriage certainly threw you off. Sure, you definitely have imagined marriage and Chanyeol in the same picture, but it was never a topic either of you openly discussed. It just never came up. Despite the fact you have been dating for over two years, sometimes it feels as if you’re still in the honeymoon stage with how perfect things have been. You’ve had your fair share of fights, sure, but nothing ever large enough to have you questioning your relationship. Your mother always told you living together, managing finances together, and raising a child together (Toben) is the true test of love.
But you and Chanyeol have done all that already. You’ve been living together for quite some time, and there’s nothing he does that makes you want to rip your hair out like some couples seem to experience. And, while he does tease you over little habits, he has never mentioned something that seriously infuriates him, either. The two of you share everything at this point, and you can’t imagine marriage seriously making all that of a difference.
Just the life-long commitment.
But when you look at him now, you realize there is no other way you would want to live out the rest of your life. You can’t imagine ever finding someone after Chanyeol, someone you could possibly love more— as you’ve said from the get-go, it’s always been him. From the time you first thought he was cute in sixth grade, to senior year when you realized you loved him, to Christmas two years ago, to now, there’s no one else you would or could ever devote yourself to.
It’s always been him, and it will be forever.
“Chanyeol,” you whisper, then, realizing such gentleness will not wake the giant, you reach over to pat his thigh. “Chanyeol, we’re almost home.”
Chanyeol grumbles, a deep, growling noise that supports just how far gone he is. “What time is it?” He asks groggily, stretching his long limbs and cracking his neck from side to side. “Almost ten,” you hum in reply, quickly glancing to the time on the dash before taking one last turn onto the street of your apartment complex. It’s strange to see the city so dead on a Sunday night.
“___,” Chanyeol groans somewhere behind you as you hurriedly make your way through the parking lot. It was not this cold earlier. “Why are you walking so fast? I thought heels made people slow.”
Stopping, you look down to your high boots, realizing that in your rush to get inside you had not even realized just how sore the bottom of your feet are. “I’m cold,” you whine back, bouncing on your toes and crossing your arms in an attempt to contain some body heat as Chanyeol sluggishly makes his way toward you. Maybe if you hold his hand or something he’ll move quicker.
“Come on,” you mumble, intertwining your fingers with his and tugging him along.
You don’t get there any quicker.
You barely manage to open the door with the way Chanyeol clings, hugging from behind and nearly tripping you with those clumsy feet of his. “Chanyeol,” you whine for at least the fifth time, borderline annoyed but watching him scowl at the eight stairs he has to climb like they’re some sort of math problem is quite amusing. “Come on, you big baby,” you decide to meet him halfway, reaching out for his hand and hauling him up with you. When you finally make it to the top, he’s reduced you to a giggling mess and uses it to his advantage, pushing you toward the wall.
“I’m not a baby,” he huffs, breath heavy with the amount of effort he just had to exert. “Yes, you are. C’mon, when we get inside, I’ll swaddle you in your favorite blankie and read you a bedtime story,” you taunt. Still, you find yourself spreading your legs just a tad wider for him to slot his thigh in between, his nostrils flared and frown deep as he towers over you, caging you in.
He chooses not to verbally reply. Instead, one rough hand anchors itself to your waist while the other slides to cup the side of your neck, thumb tilting your chin up to meet him. No matter how much alcohol may run in your systems, kissing Chanyeol will always be the one constant neither of you could ever miscalculate. It simply is an all too familiar doing, one you’ve spent days and weeks and months practicing until it became a subconscious reaction. It is a beginning and an end, your unraveling and your reawakening, an elixir that creeps its way into the very marrow of your bones and blossoms like a spring flower in your lungs.
You intended to string him along until sobriety finally brought him to his senses, but you think this is manageable, something to tease and dangle over his head before deserting him despite the way every fiber of your being craves for him. You can picture it— the confused anger flashing in his eyes when you push him away to continue down the hallway, fire in his veins dwindling to nothing but embers as you discard him for the third time tonight. And so, you press into him with equal force, desperately clawing to have him closer and swallowing his gasp when your tongue slips past the seam of his lips. Despite the heavy taste of liquor on his tongue, Chanyeol finds this rejuvenating, finally, he has you, fist bunching into the fabric of your shirt as he sucks your bottom lip between his teeth. He turns into something fierce, addicted to your taste and your touch when your fingers toy with the tips of his ears before raking through his hair and, suddenly, you feel as if you have lost the upper hand.
The hand cupping your jaw drops, trailing dangerously down the side of your thigh before wrapping around your knee to hike your leg around his hip. It is when he presses into you, growing erection doing nothing against the thick fabric of your skirt but still alarmingly there does the steadfastness of your plan falter, the idea of bunching your skirt up to your waist and letting him fuck you right there at the top of the staircase seeming all too tempting.
When he moves to press a sloppy kiss below your jaw, then on the other side of your neck, it buys you enough time to gather your thoughts. Because even though the nip of his teeth and the warmth of his tongue against your skin has wetness pooling between your thighs, it is not nearly as distracting as his mouth on yours. “Chanyeol,” you gasp still, fingers digging into his arms to ground yourself. He merely hums in reply, kissing his way down the column of your throat as he gives your right breast a firm squeeze. Your head thuds against the wall the farther you tilt back, granting him more access and breathing coming in sporadic bursts. It takes quite the strength, but, with the mental image of what’s to come once you actually make it inside encouraging you to do so, you gently push him back at last.
First, worry flashes across his face, suddenly fearing that he has somehow hurt you. But when the side of your mouth ever so slightly tips upward and you step around him to advance further down the hall, there is a mixture of betrayal and frustration flaring in his veins but overpowering desire, too, because he simply loves this game you’ve decided to play.
Racing to unlock your apartment before he can catch up, you excitedly jam the key into the knob just as Chanyeol has reached you, arms circling your waist to spin you around. “You’re driving me crazy,” he groans, guiding you into the apartment and kicking the door closed behind him. As soon as it clicks shut he is back on you, forcing you against the wall because he knows you like it that way, knows you like it rough and knows you like his manhandling. “Yeah?” You ask, though it comes out more like a hiss when he continues his assault on your neck like he never stopped, further bruising the delicate skin there and causing your heart rate to steadily pick up. “How so?”
Ignoring your innocent inquiry, Chanyeol returns to your mouth, tongue battling against your own as he pulls you flush against him, sandwiched between his sturdy chest and the wall. His other hand travels delicately beneath the hem of your shirt, palm burning impossibly warmer against the heat of your skin and it isn’t until he brushes the underwire of your bra does he pull back, satisfied with the way your lips swell. Then, leaning close so his breath fans over your ear, he whispers, “You’ve been rather naughty all night.”
You don’t tremble like he expects you to. You don’t stare back at him with wide, hungry eyes like he expects you to. In fact, you don’t react at all like he expects you to. Instead, you seem to snap out of your lustful daze, eyeing him with a rise of your brow and the straightening of your posture.
“I’ve been naughty?” You scoff, finger jabbing into his chest and, from the total one-eighty in your demeanor alone, Chanyeol stumbles back. “I think you’re mixed up.” Like a puppy desperate for your affection, he cautiously follows you out of the foyer and into the living room.
“I don’t think I was the one who offered to fuck you in front of all your family, or had my hand down your pants during dinner, now, was I?” You sneer at him, struggling to walk to the bedroom while simultaneously zipping down and kicking off your boots. “I—”
Chanyeol begins, taking a hesitant step after you. Beyond the harshness of your words, he knows this is all part of your game, and it’s turning him on more than he’d like to admit, especially when you won’t let him touch you. “No,” you cut him off, standing in the doorway and watching with a stifled smile as he slowly edges closer, “you, sir, need to drink some water before coming any closer. Sober up, think about what you did tonight, and maybe I’ll consider forgetting it happened.”
“___,” Chanyeol whines and you almost expect him to stomp his feet like a child, “you’re killing me.”
“Good. Now you know how I’ve felt all night,” flicking the light on, you set your boots down by the closet and keep your eyes trained on him, assuring he stays put, “go on, then. Don’t look so sad, water’s in the kitchen. I need to wash up.” And with that, you retreat into the bathroom, locking the door behind you and trying to erase Chanyeol’s pout from your mind.
In all seriousness— you really do want to wash your face. The thought of having to get up later or even falling asleep with makeup on makes you shudder, and so, you take your grand old time treating your skin, just to make him suffer awhile longer. As you are scrubbing your face over the sink, you hear Toben bark, followed by the soft clinking of his leash. Seconds later, the front door opens and slams closed.
Good, you think, feeling triumphant. Patting your face dry with a towel, you give yourself a once over before swiping a cotton round wet with toner over your skin, simultaneously trying to calm your nerves while also conjuring up what is to come.
God, he really has had you riled up since his first words in his parent’s kitchen, you realize with a cringe as you quickly undress, tossing your clothes into the hamper. Slipping into your simple bathrobe, you turn the overhead lights off in favor of the much softer bedside lamp before flopping belly side down on your bed. Instantaneously, images of Chanyeol flash into your mind, first, simply how godly he looked tonight, tall and lean and yours, then, the look in his eyes when he whispered about fucking you in the kitchen, and later, the teasing drag of his fingers against your panties. All of a sudden, you feel inflamed with desire, clenching around nothing at the thought of such long fingers burying inside of you.
Breathless, you reach for your phone, desperate for a distraction. Seoyun, you remember, clicking on her text from earlier confirming she was home. Sending a few hearts back, you have just opened Instagram and liked a studio picture from Jongdae when the front door opens, Toben’s yapping signaling for a new swarm of butterflies in your gut. Outside of the bedroom walls, you hear Chanyeol’s shoes clunk against the wall as he chucks them off, Toben’s leash unhooking, the living room lights being flicked off. Then, the steady footsteps as he nears your room.
“Can I come in?” He asks from the doorway, the rumble of his voice making a home in your heart.
Chuckling, you turn to look over your shoulder at him. “Yes.”
Stretching to plug your phone in on the table, you realize he’s still playing it careful, managing to only close the door behind him and set a bottle of water on the dresser. “Come here,” you invite at his lack of an advance. He seems startled, an internal battle raging in his heart as he wants nothing more than to jump into bed beside you, but also fears that you will string him along once more. So, he approaches slowly, choosing to sit by the foot of the bed and refusing to look at you, instead leaning over to yank his socks off.
Suppressing a grumble of protest at his distance, you struggle to sit back on your haunches, fingers moving to quickly untie the front of your robe. Chanyeol visibly relaxes as you make your way over, scooting further back to allow more space when you swing one leg across his lap in order to settle on his thighs. His Adam’s apple bops seeing you are totally bare, robe just barely covering your breasts. Avoiding eye contact just yet, you lean forward, pressing a delicate kiss below his ear and humming in appreciation when he tilts his head for you.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper after having your own turn of marking his soft skin, palms sliding over his chest to push his jacket from his shoulders, no matter how alluring he looks in it. “To be completely honest, I really just wanted to wash my face.” Furrowing your eyebrows in concentration, you make slow work at the buttons of his shirt next. “And,” you add, lowering the volume of your voice as if telling a secret only he’s allowed to hear, “I wasn’t in the mood for drunk sex. I’ve been wet for you since four o’clock. I wanted to savor tonight, yeah?”
Once you’ve popped the last button open, pushed the soft fabric from his shoulders and littered his exposed skin with soft kisses, you finally lift your gaze to his face, heart nearly stopping beneath the darkening of his stare. Just like that, Chanyeol sees it as his cue to take over, pouncing like a cat on its prey, opening your mouth with his own and bringing you closer with a firm grip on your ass. “I should have just fucked you when I had the chance,” he practically growls, pulling his arms out from his shirt and jacket and pushing the robe from your shoulders, hands cold from being outside and summoning goosebumps to rise along your skin.
One such hand slides up your spine before wrapping around your nape to tilt you back, body curved to give him room to duck down and kiss along your collarbones, sucking harshly at your skin to assure deep purple marks by morning before enveloping a nipple between his teeth. “Ah,” you hiss, nails digging crescents into his arms as you grind down on him, “I wouldn’t have been able to look your parents in the eyes if you did,” then, choking on a moan as he rolls your other hardened bud between his calloused fingers, “plus, I still would have been thinking about your fingers all night.”
Chanyeol groans, releasing your nipple with a soft pop. “My fingers, huh? What about them?” He hums with faux innocence, securing a grip on your thighs before flipping you onto your back in order to hover above you. He doesn’t let you reply, however, latching his lips to yours and quite literally sucking all the air from your lungs with the way his tongue wraps around your own. “Yes,” you huff when he pulls back, fingers threading through pink hair and hips rising to brush against his when he begins his journey downward, “thinking about them stuffed inside me and— and then,” you stutter, back arching as he kisses his way straight down the column of your throat, the valley between your breasts, the swell of your stomach, simply sucking at the same marks he made yesterday, “and then, your dick.”
“See,” Chanyeol mutters with a click of his tongue, hooking his fingers around the waistband of your underwear and shimmying them down your legs, “I know how dirty you are.”
“Yes,” you whimper, spreading your legs for him as he throws one over his shoulder, “you make my life really difficult like that.”
“I know, baby,” he hums, then, watching with a smirk as you jolt with him blowing cool air directly to your clit, “I always make it up to you, though.”
There simply is not enough time to think of a reply before Chanyeol has his mouth directly where you need him, flattening his tongue against your slit and licking upward, drawing a wanton moan deep from your throat. Relief, finally. Any witty reply quickly wiped from your brain, all you can focus on now is the warmth and wetness of his tongue, circling your clit before dipping between your folds.
“Chanyeol,” you rasp, one hand anchored into the comforter and the other clutching his hair to contain the way you quiver, “please.”
He hums, the vibration strumming right against you and winching the knot forming in your abdomen impossibly tighter. “Please what?”
“Fingers,” is all you manage to get out, seeing stars with the way he sucks at your clit. He wastes no time contemplating your helpless gasp, immediately shifting his position in order to grant such a wish. In fact, he wastes no time easing into things, either, pushing two fingers into your seeping cunt without so much as a warning. It tears a shaky moan from you, nerves aflame with the new but oh so welcome intrusion.
“Christ, ___,” Chanyeol hisses, immediately adding a third finger and pausing to watch his digits sink in to the knuckles, “your tight little cunt is practically sucking me in.” A shaking and gasping mess, all you can offer is a breathless yes, walls clenching in need of more friction. Sensing this, Chanyeol gets right back to work, hand rocking against you, fingers dragging in and out, rubbing upward and against that hidden gem of a spot. “Oh, God,” you keen, thighs reflexively squeezing the sides of his head when he swirls his tongue over your clit in all sorts of shapeless patterns before tightly sucking at it once more.
“That’s it, baby,” Chanyeol soothes as he forces your legs apart, eyes glued on the mess he’s made, juices smeared even at your thighs with the way his fingers curl into you before nearly pulling out entirely. “So greedy.”
“Chanyeol,” you whine, hips raising to follow the movements of his tongue when he returns to your clit, “so close.”
“Mhm,” he groans against you, insistently flicking at the bundle of nerves and adding his pinky finger to the stretch. Chanyeol relishes in the way you practically swell beneath him, nails scratching against his scalp at the addition and the way he scissors his fingers. It is with one last upward curl and draw of your clit between his lips does your orgasm hit you, an intense wave of heat that has you arching into him and red speckling your vision— even though your eyes are screwed shut. It takes several moments to come down from the high, core throbbing in the aftermath and nerves seemingly frayed at the force of it all.
And yet, he has not stopped.
“Chanyeol,” you gasp, voice taut as a result of your previous silent scream, “f-fuck. Christ, I can’t.”
Chanyeol only hums in reply, a mere dismissal as he knows you can handle it and is more than happy to continue. Pulling his fingers from your soaking cunt with a lewd squelch, he grasps your thighs and spreads them further, lapping hungrily at the messy aftermath of your orgasm. Ignoring the way your body shakes and the powerless mewls escaping your lips, Chanyeol continues right where he left off, this time, however, with his tongue stroking gently between your folds and his thumb drawing soft circles over the hood of your clit.
Given no time to settle, the inferno blazing within you quickly roars back to life once the near-painful sensitivity fades, leaving you subject to the overpowering pleasure pumping through your veins. “God, Chanyeol,” you whine, loosening your grasp on his hair once you realize the iron grip you were holding for the entirety of your climax, “f-fuck, you’re killing me.”
Smiling against you, Chanyeol begins to feel impatient, the restriction on his erection borderline painful. This being said, he picks up his tempo once more, one hand keeping your hips down while the other spreads open your folds, giving him unhindered accuracy to press his tongue against your clit, draw circles, triangles, figure-eights— before you’re coming undone in no time.
Biting your bottom lip to taper the near scream that threatens to tear from your throat, you have no choice with the way Chanyeol holds you down but to fall face-first into your climax, tumbling over the edge at an alarmingly fast rate. Your second orgasm comes much easier and much quicker, body still recovering from the first, and it leaves you simultaneously jerking away but locking him in. Chanyeol is just that good.
It almost feels as if you are floating through clouds as you come back to reality and part of you wonders if that orgasm lasted a few seconds or an hour. You can’t tell. But coming back down brings an onslaught of sensations; first, the complete and total mess in between your legs, the result of two orgasms sticking to your thighs like syrup. Second, the soothing massage Chanyeol rubs into your thighs and hips, fingers digging deep into your muscle and aiding in your return from Heaven, you think.
And third: Chanyeol still has his pants on.
“How are you?” He asks, lips curled into a smirk because he knows how good it was, but likes the validation. When all you offer is a small noise of protest, Chanyeol understands this to be your wordless way of asking him to come up, and he does so immediately. “I think I just saw God,” you say once he’s settled on his side next to you, cringing at the coarseness of your voice. With a dreamy sigh you smooth over his pectoral, the dip of his collarbone, the protruding tendon on his neck, before cradling his jaw and leaning over to press your lips to his.
Slow to start, you take ample time simply to savor him, the taste of you, and to show your appreciation for not one, but two orgasms. A renewed sense of urgency, however, appears to take over, and you suck in a heavy breath through your nose when Chanyeol pushes himself to hover above you, hand wrapping around your knee to throw your leg over his hip. Palms deserting their spot beneath his ears, you quickly make work to the button of his pants.
“Goddammit,” you hiss after several unsuccessful attempts, growing just as impatient as he and pulling back to focus on such button, then the zipper, “I hate buttons.” Laughing, Chanyeol leans up to tug his pants and boxers down his thighs, cock springing free against the toned panes of his stomach. “I can tell. Patience is a virtue, you know?” He teases, settling more comfortably between your spread legs and kicking the last of his clothes to the floor.
“Don’t you dare try talking to me about virtue when all I can think about is you rearranging my guts,” you grumble, eyes screwing shut and missing the way his eyes darken when he presses the head of his cock against your clit. “Purity is a virtue, too,” Chanyeol continues to tease, finally angling to your entrance and just barely pressing in, “I don’t think God would be too happy with that mouth of yours.”
“Please shut the fuck up and— ohh, shit,” before you can finish your sentence, Chanyeol has finally rolled forward, dragging past your walls and filling you to the brim in one flawless push. Then, once you have adjusted to the forever startling swell of his cock within you, “We can go to confession after you’ve fucked me.”
Chanyeol lets out a noise somewhere in between an amused snort and a groan, mind effectively having already gone off the deep end and focusing on the tightness of your slick cunt and that alone. “God, ___,” he hisses, drawing back to leave only a lonely inch within you before thrusting forward again, drawing a series of moans from your lips, “never get enough of your tight little pussy.”
“Uh-huh,” is all you manage, struggling to soundly wrap your legs around him with all your muscles reduced to jelly with him filling you so deliciously with every thrust. With the fire in your stomach roaring to life and consuming you whole once more, you will yourself not to come so soon, attempting to open your eyes after several futile blinks and focus on him. Perhaps this is not the best thing to do, however, considering the image of him glowing with a sheen of sweat, eyebrows furrowed, face flushed and hooded eyes boring holes into you only prompts you to tighten around him and ‘squeaking noises’ he always likes to tease you about to slip past your lips.
“God,” you whine, leaning up and placing a desperate kiss to his top lip but flopping back down at the uncomfortable angle, “God, I love you.” Chanyeol visibly softens at this, the sharp snapping in and out of you slowing into deeper, more languid strokes. “I love you more,” he sighs, brushing away hair that has stuck to your sticky skin before kissing you properly. There’s something different about this kiss— for you, at least. Perhaps it has to do with all the talk and sentiment of the night, but a feeling beyond your every day, established love seems to wash over you.
It leaves you gasping and licking into his mouth, desperately trying to cling to the feeling, to put a word to it until finally, you realize, it’s always been here and will forever stay. It seems to resonate in your core, not physically but in your soul, something beyond logic and more of an opening of a door to tranquil waters. It leaves you lightheaded, the staccato of his heart pressed against your skin and the connection of your bodies the only things keeping you grounded because this feeling, this overwhelming, beautiful feeling makes it seem as if you are the center of the universe, just as Chanyeol is the center of yours.
“I’m close,” he hisses, two simple words breaking into your satori and hurling you back into the euphoria that fizzes up your spine and fills your bones. “Me too,” you gasp, breathless from the loaded emotion heavy on your mind and your heart and the quickening of his cock, brushing at the deepest part within at every stroke. It has your head falling back, eyes rolling and back arching when you squeeze around him, muscles contracting with such overwhelming pleasure coursing through your veins like electric waves.
“I love you,” you repeat when you fall into your third orgasm, eyes squeezing shut despite your best efforts at keeping them open in order to watch as Chanyeol, too, reaches his high and comes into you with a harsh stutter and load groan. It simply is so powerful you practically feel as if you have just been brought back from the dead, body bucking beneath him like a whip as the toe-curling feeling explodes within you like a firework show. Chanyeol seems to share in such experience, usually not the most vocal but he can’t seem to keep to labored breathing, biting into your shoulder as his seed comes in hot spurts inside of you. You say it every time, but this, truthfully, was the best orgasm of your life.
It takes several moments, minutes, even, to come down from your highs, bodies seemingly in overdrive with such a feeling warming you from your head to your toes. But, just as all good things come to an end, you eventually force your eyes open once you’ve gotten over feeling as if you might pop, blinking past the tears that at some point accumulated. Chanyeol has his forehead rested against your shoulder, heavy inhales and exhales slowly calming as his heart, too, returns to its normal beat. It isn’t until you raise a weak hand to stroke his hair does he tilt his head to look at you, eyes shining like stars with the tired smile he gives you.
Brushing mused pink bangs from his eyes, you crane your neck to kiss his forehead, his nose, and finally his lips before letting your head fall back with a sigh. He returns your affection with a gentle kiss to your shoulder, shakily leaning up to pull his now flaccid cock out of your raw cunt. He’s quick to move, however, fingers coming to press against your folds as if to plug any of his cum from leaking out. You twitch, still way too sensitive and you mentally cringe at the thought of going again— to be frank, you’re pooped.
Still, you lie there quietly, body cooling down as Chanyeol continues to stare as if daring your cunt to let any of his seed slip. After a few more silent moments of this, however, you force yourself to lean up, knowing if you stay like that for any longer, you’d be asleep in minutes. Chanyeol lets out a quiet grunt of protest as such movement causes the smallest gush, fingers swiping against your folds to collect your mixed cum before pushing it back in with the gentlest touch. You sigh at the feeling, clutching at his arm and suddenly, a part of you wishes you weren’t on birth control.
“I felt you,” Chanyeol finally says, voice tight as if he hasn’t used it in years. Such an ambiguous statement, but fortunately, you know what he means without needing him to explain it. You only nod at first, searching his face and finding only the utmost truth. With a gentle hand tracing his jaw, you move in closer to press a soft kiss to his lips before curling into his side. “And I felt you.”
Chanyeol thinks he would look ‘strikingly handsome’ with pink hair, wearing his blue contacts and his baby blue tie.
You think he would look just as handsome as a brunette, without the contacts, and a matching grey bow tie.
Chanyeol thinks you’re lame and just petty because you wouldn’t be able to tie his tie when he gets dressed.
However, with blonde hair slicked back, just his prescription contacts, and baby blue tie, he also happens to think you are strikingly beautiful walking up the aisle. So much so, by the time you are there in front of him, he already has tears streaming down his face.
With your hands in his, you think this kind of love lasts forever.
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We Sold Our Souls | 001: Beca
Summary: A small-town rock band continues to play even smaller venues well past high school graduation. Aubrey, Beca, Emily, and Chloe struggle with newfound fame and the long bloody road to get there.
[Based off of "We Sold Our Souls" By Grady Hendrix"]
Read on AO3 | Dt to the amazing @ifionlyhadmorepaper
Beca’s fingers were split and callused where Chloe’s were warm and protected. They were covered in bandages of all shapes and sizes, little adhesive papers that browned at the edges from dirt or from blood that hadn’t been dabbed away. They were wrapped, lacerated where she had pressed too hard on the velvet cords of her guitar. Beca Mitchell would play until rustic oozing syrup covered the face of the instrument.
They stung, sometimes, but right now she leaned into the numbness that the temperature in the office provided. She wanted to spread them in an equal motion over the glass of the desk so each finger lined up with a toe in her Doc Martins. Instead, she placed them calmly in her lap and stared at the silver pen that rested next to the contract.
She picked silently at the ace bandage that she had strategically wrapped around her pinky finger. It had been the newest slice; a wound still fresh to the sterile room. She was sure it would drip one, maybe two drops of red on the white linoleum.
Beca glanced up from the writing utensil and saw nothing but a suit, a slate and dull grey that blended perfectly with the rest of the room. There were no photos on the wall, nothing but a bland black leather sofa and a glass coffee table that matched the same desk they sat at now. She wanted to look through the floor to ceiling windows but saw nothing but white. Everything was white.
She was the darkest thing in the room.
Her boot tapped against, a low and thumbed rhythm. She waited for him to say something, to say anything. But she realized quickly that he may be darker than her. She could stare into the abyss that was his face, into the shadow but it would mean nothing. There were no defining features other than a crisp, business-like smile.
She had switched from pulling at the dressing of her wounds to picking at the frayed edges of her black jean jacket, littered with patches and permanent marker. Beca traced a signature that Chloe had drawn on one drunken night.
They had popped a bottle of champagne and the bubbles made the cuts on her fingers burn something fierce. But she let the golden liquid slosh onto the carpet of the hotel room, and bubble up in her throat until she couldn’t quite hold it between her lips anymore. Chloe kissed her and she tasted like weed and cherry.
It was the first night that their song was played on the radio.
The four of them huddled around a radio, its antenna stretched to the ceiling of that dingy room. The lights buzzed as much as the static, and it was close to three am; too late for the bar handlers to be heading home, and too early for the suits to be warming up their cars. But they played it- they played it.
They could quite possibly be the only four people in the entire world to hear the first song from the DEMO that Beca slid under the studio door.
When she leaned forward, the leather her pants made an ungodly noise. She didn’t’ want to read through the stack bound with a thick black clip. The first page was highlighted where she needed to initial and bolded at the most important parts; the parts that distracted her from what really mattered.
Her father was a stockbroker before he was dead, and he would tell her every single time he brought home a new contract, that they make the glittery things darker. That’s not what she was supposed to read; she was supposed to look at the little pieces of text that had stars next to them. People liked to trick you with shiny things.
Beca moved her finger across the large stack; the paper was cool to the touch and caught on the adhesive of her ace bandage. “What exactly are you offering me here?”
Summer 1985
It took her four whole months to save up for the old white Charvel that sat at the back of Shawl's pawn shop. There were bars strapped across the windows and an ugly neon orange sign that let Beca know when they were closed and when they weren’t. She would cling to those bars when old man Shawl would tell her to buy something or get the fuck out.
He stared at her even harder when she emptied the shoebox of change and crumpled up bills stained with sweat and sticky substances onto the glass counter, but even he couldn’t turn down a profit. She waited for ages while his liver-spotted hands counted the money carefully. Then he pursed his lips and pulled the beat up guitar down from his perch above his shoulder.
In later years, Beca knew she didn’t have nearly enough, and she thanked him silently for taking pity on her and passing it over anyway. She was driving all of his customers, she reasoned, by sulking on the hot sidewalk in front of the shop, letting banana flavored popsicles drip onto her fingers until it was nothing but a stick left.
She had fastened the worn leather strap around her chest and straddled her jet red bicycle. Beca had never peddled so fast in her life. The Mid-August heat clung to every inch of her was humming with sweat by the time she skidded to a stop in front of her house. She let the bike drop and got an instant hit of relief when she crossed the threshold into the open garage.
Beca scooted past the dusty Monza that barely fit in front of the door leading into their kitchen. Her mother had bought it off a stranger that came into the diner back in 78’. There were questionable stains in the backseat and an odd scent of Clorox that they could never get rid of. But it ran back and forth, and that’s all they needed.
She pulled open the honey blossom fridge and grabbed the closest thing they had to a cool drink. Beca drank tang straight from the pitcher, letting it drip down her face and soak into the collar of her shirt. She was noisy when she drank, and oblivious to her mother watching her from the archway as she tied her apron around her waist.
“We have glasses, Bec’s”
Her mother didn’t’ comment on the guitar strapped to her back. She figured that her daughter had picked up another hobby. Last year it was basketball, and the year before that she begged and begged for a set of baseball cards from the local hobby shop. After they were shoved under her bed she was told to fund her ventures on her own.
Beca swallowed the last of the orange flavoring on her tongue and took a savoring breath to fill her burning lungs. She turned to the woman and smiled “That would just dirty two things instead of one. Besides, you don’t drink this anyway.”
She couldn’t argue with that. Her mother wrestled silently with the faux pearl earrings that matched the beaded necklace against her collarbone. The soft blue tone of her uniform washed out her skin and made her look pale despite the summer heat that lingered well into August.
Beca placed the glass decanter back into the bottom half of the fridge before she mock saluted her mother and wandered back out to the garage. Her skin instantly became slick with sweat. She pulled an empty milk crate a few inches from the line of the setting sun.
She finally pulled the old Charvel from her back and situated it in her arms. It was far from a perfect fit. She reached over the neck and felt the way the side dug into her ribs uncomfortably. The strings were frail and sounded rough as she dragged her thumb against them.
Beca had only learned the start of one song, the first few cords of Black Sabbath’s Tomorrows Dream. They had printed the cords on the back of the record sleeve, each specific note highlighted in a comically large dot. Beca would breathe in the dust of the garage and listen to the record on a constant loop, pressing her fingers down against the notes.
She took a deep breath and started to follow the instructions that she had completed a million times over. The strings were too tight and it sounded choppy, sharp, and thick all at once. She cringed at her half-hearted attempt and the way the cords cut so deeply into her fingertips they stung.
She ignored the old car pulling out of the garage, and the way she had to squint at the darkness after a while. There was still the sour taste of orange on her tongue and sweat dripped from her nose. But she played and played, and played until there was blood against the white face of the instrument and tears pinching at her eyes. It sounded somewhat like Black Sabbath.
“You like metal?”
Beca jerked her hand back quickly and drew in a sticky warm breath of air. She had been so wrapped up in her task that she hadn’t realized she wasn’t alone anymore. A girl stood in the dull light that leaked from the garage and into the pavement. She didn’t’ quite pass the threshold- instead, she lingered.
A certain chill had invaded the air and the girl folded into herself. Her wild mane of orange hair fell around her shoulders and ghostly blue eyes lit up optimistically at the sight of a guitar.
“Uh,”
“That’s a Charvel, right? I begged my parents for one last Christmas but they got me an acoustic instead. Hooked me up with lessons from Miss Jensen. I learned one country song and started pocketing the fifty bucks a week instead.”
“Yeah,” Beca swallowed hard “It’s a Charvel”
“That’s cool,” she rocked back and forth on the souls of her sneakers. The cold didn’t’ seem to get to her much anymore. Beca tried to place her. Her ears were ringing and her fingers hurt. The crickets were hissing their own song. “You go to Kennedy don’t you?”
“I’m second year”
“I’m third.” She beamed “I live right next door, I’ve seen you around.”
Beca lifted her chin; she had seen the girl around too. It usually followed loud screaming and slamming doors. She would sit on her stoop and stare at the way her cassette player would turn. Beca had seen her flip a tape four times once- still like a statue until the music stopped and hat to be reset.
“Listen, I uh- don’t want to intrude, but maybe we could play together sometime?”
“Yeah, I would like that.” She found herself saying, the orange drink in her system making her stomach churn. She nearly felt bad, felt a pang of sadness for the girl. “I’m Beca.”
“Hi, Beca. I’m Chloe.”
Winter 1994
Beca let the case fall shut a little too loudly. The acoustics on the small stage seemed to catch all the wrong things. She couldn’t get her voice to carry earlier in the night, but the fur-lined box that they housed their amp in bounced all the way to the entry of the little venue in Portland.
She blinked hard, trying to ignore the harsh red lights that covered every single inch of the place. There were bumper stickers covering the spotty paint of the walls and a bar that was more piss and peanut shells than anything. Emily gulped down warm beer and struggled to keep it down momentarily. She didn’t look up at the noise, her stare trained on a coaster, and the crumbs that lie next to it.
Beca leaned back on her heels and pulled in a thick breath. She smelled like sweat and blood and alcohol. Her little stunt had drawn the attention of Aubrey, the woman wrapping the cord to a different amp around her forearm and palm. She narrowed her unripe stare.
“This was fucking shit,”
“I’m doing my best”
They spoke at the same time. She knew that Aubrey’s anger was buzzing, it was festering until it finally burst. She looked pale under the red lights, the same tattoo they had all gotten two years ago stretched under her tank top and down to the gap between her jeans.
She knew what Aubrey was going to say. Her best wasn’t good enough, and it never was; they had been doing this for years, eight long years and they were still playing the shit-stink venues in even shittier towns. They barely had an audience tonight, and it had all been Beca’s fault. The whole room was thinking it, but no one had the balls to say it other than Aubrey.
Chloe moved from the corner of the room, “We’ll get a better place, Bree.”
“Yeah? When? I’m tired of giving my all to an audience that doesn’t’ fucking exist. We’re not kids anymore.”
“We’re shit broke.” Emily turned in the creaky barstool, swallowing the foam at the bottom of her glass. “I don’t even think we have gas in the van.”
“How much from this gig?” Chloe asked.
Her hair was matted with sweat and her thumb pulled at the chain around her neck. It was fastened with a marbled red pick, one from their first real venue ever. She had nervously wiped away the gold lettering and now the smooth plastic was all that was left. Beca hated disappointing her, and she did it often these days.
“Five hundred.”
“Five hundred? Beca that’s barely enough to cover the hotel rooms.” Aubrey let the wrapped cord fall back to the stage “We don’t break even on this. It’s not fucking worth it. It never was and it never is.”
They all knew what came next. Emily stared down a coaster she had begun to shred. The remaining foam on the glass culminated at the very bottom of the glass and she knew she couldn’t muster enough change to order another one. So she sat with the sour taste in her mouth and festered.
Aubrey would mention Julliard.
“I could have had everything.” She hissed instead.
Beca didn’t dignify it with a response. Instead, she leaned down and pulled the amp up with nothing more than a grunt. Instead, she walked out into the cold Portland air and let it make her skin tighter. She blinked away the red light and searched for the keys in her pockets. She had left them inside.
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Fuyu [part five]
"Nabe?" Yulia tiba di ruang makan lewat sedikit. Hotpot sederhana besar telah diletakkan ditengah-tengah meja jepun bersama pelbagai sayuran dan seafood disekelilingnya.
"Oh.. Yuri.. tolong Kak Ana angkat buah," Adam muncul daripada dapur dengan jug kettle yang akan dipanaskan diatas api yang diletakkan bersebelahan meja jepun. Bara api dibawah tungku klasik itu kelihatan masih membara.
"Okay," Yulia segera ke dapur. Dilihatnya Anastasia sedang memotong buah pelam.
"Kenapa tiba-tiba kita masak nabe ni?" Tanya Yulia kepada Anastasia.
"Sebab mama dan ayah tak ada," sampuk Hani daripada arah peti sejuk. "Mama abah pergi Johor sampai rabu depan. So..,"
"Party?" Tanya Yulia lagi.
Hanya di Fuyu sahaja, mereka berparty dengan nabe. Nabe atau hotpot yang lebih dikenali sebagai steambot menyajikan hidangan yang rebus-rebus sahaja. Di Fuyu, mama kurang gemar menggunakan makanan sejuk beku, maka segala fishball, fish cake, sosej dan apa-apa yang dikenali sebagai frozen processed food tak akan masuk ke dalam peti sejuk. Kecuali, jika mama tiada.
Semua ini idea Noah. Noah mengatakan siang tadi, hasratnya untuk makan-makan bersama memandangkan Yulia bakal menghabiskan latihan amalinya bulan hadapan.
Yulia meletakkan buah yang dipotong Anastasia di hujung meja. Hani dan Adam sudah terlebih dahulu mereneh cendawan dan beberapa makanan laut di dalam periuk.
“Mana Noah?” Anastasia pula muncul daripada ruang masak dengan apron yang belum di tanggal. Terus sahaja dia duduk dihujung meja jepun, tempat rasminya.
“Hmm..tadi dia kata nak beli barang dekat kedai runcit,” kata Adam sambil mencedukkan isi nabe ke dalam mangkuk.
“Kak Ana nak apa?”
“Tak apa.. Saya senduk sendiri,” Anastasia menolak dengan baik. Selang beberapa ketika, Noah masuk daripada pintu utama dengan menjinjing beg plastik berisi kekacang dan minuman isotonik.
“Oh...tak tunggu eh makan. Sampai hati,” ujar Noah. Dia mengeluarkan isi barang yang dibelinya tadi ke atas meja.
“Siapa suruh lambat,” balas Yulia bersahaja.
“Tolak markah karang,” Noah mengugut dengan nada main-main. Namun, seisi Fuyu serentak memandang ke arahnya, termasuklah Anastasia yang kaku dengan penyenduk di tangan.
“Ada markah apa? Ada buat event?” tanya Adam pula. Anastasia dan Hani berpandangan sebelum menyembunyikan tawa mereka.
“Makan..makan. Merepek je kau orang ni,” Anastasia menambah isi mangkuk Adam dengan isi ketam dan cendawan.
“Yuri.. last attachment bila?” Noah berpura-pura bertanya, meskipun dia sudah dimaklumkan sejak hari pertama lagi.
“Pertengahan ogos. Selepas seminggu, baru Yuri balik kampus,” Yulia akan menghabiskan saki baki cuti semester yang sejemput itu di Fuyu sebelum kembali ke kampus dan memulakan semester baharu. Tugasannya hanya tinggal pembentangan dan laporan bertulis. Selebihnya terpulang kepada preceptor untuk menilai hasil kerjanya. Dalam lebih kurang 3 minggu lagi Yulia akan mengucapkan selamat tinggal kepada Fuyu setelah 4 bulan mendiaminya.
“Ana?” Tiba-tiba sahaja Anastasia diseru. Hampir tersedak wanita itu dengan kuah nabe yang tersalah masuk ke trachea. Cepat-cepat dia mencari air.
“Huh? Kak Ana pun nak keluar dah?” Yulia menyampuk. Kini semua mata beralih pula kepada Anastasia.
“Err..,” Anastasia bertentang mata dengan Noah. Perbualan dengan Noah kelmarin berkisarkan keputusannya sama ada hendak menyambung sewa atau kembali ke sarangnya di ibu kota.
“Noah.. ada masa? Can we talk?” Anastasia menegur Noah yang sedang berkebun di laman belakang. Beberapa pasu bunga dan selonggok tanah diletakkan di bawah pohon tabebuai.
“Ohh..sekejap. Kau tunggu dekat ruang tamu?” Noah mengelap peluhnya dengan tuala good morning.
“Okay,” sementara menanti Noah, Anastasia menyiapkan dua cawan minuman. Kopi ais kosong untuk Noah, dan teh susu untuknya. Kemudian, Anastasia duduk di balkoni, menghadap laman jepun mini. Tempat yang sama dia, Yulia dan Adam meluangkan masa jika ada. Fuyu petang itu seperti rumah hantu, tiada satu kelibat pun kelihatan. Petang-petang begini, selalunya Adam atau Hani akan menonton televisyen di hadapan meja jepun. Namun susuk tubuh budak berdua itu juga tidak kelihatan. Terperap di bilik barangkali. Anastasia menghirup tehnya sesekali.
“Nak cakap apa?” Noah memasuki Fuyu daripada laman. Terus sahaja dia mendudukkan diri dengan jarak 3 kaki daripada Anastasia, kakinya dijuntaikan ke bawah.
"For me?" Noah mengangkat cawannya yang bercorak splat hitam putih lembu tenusu. Anastasia menganggukkan kepala.
"Sebelum aku beritahu apa yang aku nak bagi tahu. Boleh aku tanya soalan?"
Bagi mengelakkan komunikasi tidak efektif, Noah membenarkan sahaja.
"Kenapa kau berhenti jadi animator? You see… Aku ada dekat sini sebab aku kena ban. Kau? Did something go wrong?" Anastasia berhati-hati dalam memilih perkataannya.
"Pembetulan. Aku berhenti jadi animator kepada syarikat animasi, tapi aku tak berhenti daripada membuatkan animasi," Noah memiliki akaun youtube peribadi yang digunakan untuk pelbagai animasi pendek yang juga pernah dicalonkan dalam beberapa awards.
"Still, you pull yourself out from a team," Anastasia mahukan jawapan.
"Things just happened that way? Tak semua yang kita rancang akan jadi. Aku letak jawatan sebab masa itu berlaku kepincangan dalam syarikat ayah aku. Semuanya kerana inheritance. Hani told you who I am, does she?"
"Hmm," Anastasia bersetuju. "If your family is that loaded, why bother boarding in Fuyu anyway?"
Anastasia membayangkan rumah agam milik keluarga Noah dan kereta mewah bersusun di laman.
"Ingat tak aku pernah kata.. I feel at home bila aku berada dekat Fuyu? Strange enough that feeling aku tak pernah rasa dirumah sendiri. Ibu bapa aku tak duduk sini. Pejabat rasmi syarikat di KL. Kilang yang aku jaga ini hanyalah fraction daripada rangkaian kilang- kilang lain. Aku hanya melihat kepada management sahaja, hanya jadi boss pada nama. Aku bukan Yuri, aku tiada basic perihal ubat-ubatan,akta, regulations, anything yang berkaitan dengan farmasi. I'm just a puppet to fill the void supaya penama untuk peninggalan tidak jatuh ke tangan orang lain," panjang lebar Noah menceritakan kedudukannya.
"Ayah? Mama?" tanya Anastasia.
"Kau pernah tengok Ayah dan Mama kisah? Mereka adalah pakcik dan makcik aku yang tak pernah ambil tahu fasal harta. They have Fuyu, that is all they have. Ayah Mama pun sudah cukup kaya dengan duit pencen dan hartanah 3 ekar ini. Ayah sudah hibah siap-siap Fuyu kepada Hani apabila dia meninggal nanti, selebihnya akan diwakafkan. Duit tidak boleh dibawa masuk ke kubur,"
Anastasia membuang pandangan ke laman. Dia menggosok mug dengan jari telunjuknya. Noah turut sama memandang laman. Cawannya dibawa dekat dengan bibir.
"Noah, aku nak balik KL," akhirnya Anastasia berterus terang kepada Noah.
"Tiba-tiba?" Noah merendahkan cawan. Seingatnya Anastasia pernah mengatakan dia akan duduk di Fuyu sehingga kes siasatan ke atas penulisannya selesai.
"Tiga hari lepas, boss aku mencadangkan aku untuk terus menulis sebagai ghost writer. Aku boleh berkarya, tetapi atas nama penulis lain,"
"Dan kau terima?"
"I need to pay bills too," duit simpanannya masih cukup untuk beberapa bulan, namun dia perlu memikirkan bulan-bulan selepas itu.
"Dan kau okay dengan cadangan tu?" Noah bertanya dengan jujur.
"Kau masih bekerjaya sebagai animator kerana ada yang menonton animasi. Dan aku digelar penulis kerana ada yang membaca penulisan aku. Without viewer, without reader… what do you think we will become? Nothing. As long as I can spread my words.. I don't mind living as a ghost,"
Sudah bertahun-tahun juga dia hidup sebagai Anton sebelum masyarakat mengetahui identiti Anastasia. Noah diam sejenak, memberi ruang kesenyapan kepada otak untuk mereka ayat seterusnya. Tidak pernah terlintas difikiran, penulis fantasi popular itu akan 'merendahkan' diri, menyorok dibelakang penulis lain untuk kekal menulis.
"Kau tak akan menyesal?" Sekali lagi Noah bertanya.
"Entah, selagi mana aku tak cuba, macam mana aku harus tahu," ada benarnya juga kata-kata Anastasia itu.
"Itu je ke kau nak cakap dengan aku?"
"Ada lagi. Kau pernah tanya kenapa aku memilih untuk tinggal di Fuyu. Aku rasa aku dah ada jawapan untuk itu,"
"Apa?"
“Kak Ana?” Hani bersuara daripada sisinya.
Anastasia meletakkan chopstick ke atas piring. Dia merenung satu-satu wajah penghuni Fuyu sebelum membuka bicara.
“Saya akan balik ke KL hujung minggu ni.,” Belum sempat Anastasia menghabiskan ayatnya, Yulia sudah menyampuk.
“Kenapa? Kak Ana ada projek baharu? Kak Ana nak menulis semula?”
“Yuri…,” Noah menegur Yulia agar tidak memotong percakapan Anastasia. Akhirnya gadis itu mencebikkan muka sambil kembali mengunyah kepah.
“Saya balik untuk selesaikan beberapa perkara. Dan kalau semuanya berjalan dengan lancar, saya mungkin akan kembali ke Fuyu lagi,” sambung Anastasia.
“Maksudnya..Kak Ana?” Adam masih tidak memahami apa yang cuba disampaikan oleh Anastasia.
“I’m considering to move to Fuyu for good,”
Anastasia membuat pertimbangan untuk menyewakan studio apartment yang dibelinya dahulu dan berpindah masuk ke Fuyu dalam satu tempoh yang panjang. Bekerja sebagai ghost writer tidak memerlukan identitinya diketahui umum. Malah semua gerak kerjanya selepas ini akan masuk ke stealth mode, wujud, namun tidak nampak di mata. Tujuan Anastasia kembali ke ibu kota adalah untuk mendengar perancangan Hanis dan jika perancangan itu menguntungkan, Anastasia akan bersetuju untuk sign agreement baharu. Dia juga memerlukan masa untuk mengemaskan studio dan menaikkan iklan ‘rumah untuk disewa’. Seberapa cepat segalanya akan selesai, Anastasia tidak berani menjamin dengan masa.
“Wahh.. muat ke nak simpan buku-buku Kak Ana dekat Fuyu?” Yulia masih ingat video tour studio Anastasia beberapa tahun lepas, setiap inchi rumahnya penuh dengan buku, daripada pintu masuk ke balkoni, semuanya dijajah oleh buku, termasuklah meja dan kerusi yang telah lenyap daripada fungsi asal dan menjadi rak buku. Satu-satunya kawasan yang selamat adalah dapur kecil molek. Itu pun kurang 3 kaki daripada stove, ada beberapa buku diletakkan secara bertingkat berhampiran dengan bekas teh dan biji kopi.
“Itu, saya nak bincang dengan ayah dan mama. What if, kita tambah fungsi Fuyu selain daripada rumah penginapan, kita extend sebagai book cafe?” Kali ini Anastasia mengalihkan pandangan kepada Hani. Hani pula menghantar isyarat mata kepada Noah. Noah mengangguk dengan segaris senyuman yang menyakinkan.
“Book Cafe? Idea yang bagus,” sokong Adam.
“Tapi nanti, kalau Kak Ana nak pindah keluar, macam mana pula?” Hani bertanya setelah sekian lama mendiamkan diri.
“Apa yang macam mana? Buku? Fuyu can keep it. Saya tak baca buku yang sama dua kali,” Anastasia mengangkat jari telunjuk dan diletakkan ke kepala. “I remember everything I read once,”
“Linguistic intelligence?” Noah bertanya.
Anastasia mengangkat bahu. Teori 9 jenis ‘intelligence’ yang ditulis oleh Howard Gardner yang penuh dengan kritikan namun masih diguna pakai dalam memahami peribadi seseorang.
“Anyway… I’ll be back before you guys even realise. So please, no goodbye,” Anastasia mengakhiri kalimahnya.
“Tapi, masa Kak Ana balik sini nanti, Yuri dah tak ada,” Yulia merenung mangkuknya yang kosong, suaranya direndahkan.
“Datanglah bila hujung minggu atau cuti semester, walaupun mungkin ada penyewa lain, Yuri boleh share bilik dengan saya,” kata Anastasia sambil menambah isi ke dalam mangkuk Yulia.
“Makan,”
Noah menepuk tangan beberapa kali. “Alright, enough with sad news. Saya ada berita baik yang saya nak kongsi,”
Semua mata memandang ke arah Noah. Namun, hanya Noah sahaja yang mengunci anak matanya tepat kepada Anastasia.
End of part 5.
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