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mimi-0007 · 2 years

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#black history #black history is american history #black tumblr #black literature #black excellence #black community #black girl magic #black barbie #strong black sister #black princess #black pride

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sevens-dumb-stuff · 7 months

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the new detective pikachu game is wild

#i was laughing so hard when i saw this scene with my sisters #HE WAS JUST EATING MAC AND CHEESE THEN HE BLACK OUT AND REMEMBERS THIS LIKE WHAT #divorce #pokemon #pokémon #detective pikachu #detective pikachu returns #detective pikachu returns spoilers #cw language #strong language #shitpost

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epickiya722 · 9 days

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Anybody talks about Yuji being amazing in the last couple of chapters.

"Yuta is still stronger."

CAN HE NOT HAVE THE SPOTLIGHT?! LIKE, DAMN! LIKE WHO ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCK?! LIKE YUJI FANS REALLY CAN'T SAY "Yuji's doing so great" WITHOUT SOMEONE BRINGING YUTA UP?!

#yuta dipped out 5 chapters ago #rocking yuji's mom's haircut...#i love him but damn some of his fans be annoying as hell #yuji fans don't even be bringing up other characters like that to glaze him #like we know yuta is strong he's related to damn gojo!!#BUT YUJI OUT HERE FIGHTING THE DAMN KING OF CURSES WITH BLACK FLASHES LEFT AND RIGHT LOCKED IN AND THAT'S HIS FUCKING UNCLE!!#LIKE AT LEAST YUTA AIN'T GOT A FAMILY MEMBER WHO HATES HIM!! AND AIN'T FROM A FUCKED UP FAMILY DAMN!! GOT A WHOLE LITTLE SISTER!!#Don't know about his parents though #HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO EAT HIS FAMILY MEMBERS!!#just kiya's thoughts #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #itadori yuji #yuji itadori #yuuji itadori #itadori yuuji

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punkeropercyjackson · 2 months

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Comparisons between Percy Jackson and Lance from Vld are dumb because they rely on reducing Percy down to haha funny guy and sea powers and usually come with racist stereotypes to both of them(Lance's mestizo cuban heritage mixed in with aknowledging Percy's accidental afrolatino-coding)but also because if Percy's like any Vld character it's Allura

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nympippi · 1 year

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The amazing, the clairvoyant, the girl who will beat anybody’s ass, Gwendolyn Blake!!

In this au Gwen is pretty much the same, except she’s learning to accept her gift and is actively experimenting with it.

In this au, Gwen gets really interested in criminal justice and helping people like she did with the boys before they came back. She likes putting her gift to good use and helping others,

She is an honorary ghost boy along with Finney, but she’s also the boys little sister, they always try to look out for her in some way. But yeah she doesn’t really change much in this au.

#pippi art #the black phone fandom #the black phone #the black phone fanart #necromancer finney au #tbp gwen #gwen blake #she does buy tarot cards though. she really leans into the clairvoyant seer persona a bit.#but Gwen is very smart and is very wise after having to see the visions of what happened in the basement #she knows borderline stuff like what the boys looked like when they died or what the basement looked like #but nothing as to what the boys personally experienced #but the boys are thankful to her and are a little bit intimidated by her gift #Vance and Robin have a lot of respect for her as a fighter #Billy doesn’t really know how to feel but he thinks she’s cool #griffin looks up to her a lot as an older sibling. despite them being the same age #or close in age #Finn also has a lot of respect for his kid sister and he sometimes wishes he could be have as strong as she is #but yeah. the boys absolutely love Gwen and if there’s anyone who ever gives her trouble they are in for a bad time with both the boys and #Gwen herself

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inamindfarfaraway · 1 year

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Headcanon that Jane always held out hope that Emma would return, at least temporarily. She understood that her sister was a very different person to her and had good reasons to not like Hatchetfield, but they’d been so close that the notion Emma could spend her whole adulthood never seeing her again was ridiculous. Unthinkable.

Especially after their parents died. Look, Emma was busy, far away and not sentimental or romantic at all, so Jane could somewhat forgive her not coming back for a wedding to a guy she didn’t much like the sound of. And fine, newborn babies weren’t that interesting to interact with and not Emma’s style. But Jane attending each of their parents’ funerals? Without the only biological family she had left by her side? Wondering why the hell her little sister would choose to grieve alone in another country, instead of here in her arms? That nearly broke her. It confirmed to Tom that Emma should be treated as a lost cause and he resented her for hurting his wife.

Still, Jane maintained the habits of inviting her to family events - including every Christmas - and buying or keeping things she thought Emma might like. Between that and putting aside some of their parents’ stuff she knew Emma had liked to go to her, she amassed quite a collection over the years that was dutifully stored and well-organized in her garage. She could have sent the items, but she didn’t want to risk them being lost or damaged in transit. Emma never heard a word about this. Jane was planning to surprise her one day with a shower of homecoming presents and inheritance (the Perkins sisters shared something of a flair for the dramatic). She also told Tim stories about his cool Aunt Emma, off adventuring and chasing her dreams. Jane couldn’t wait to see her again and introduce her to her new family.

That day never came.

Instead, over a year after blowing off another Christmas invitation and then getting her first call from Tom in the same week, Emma finds herself standing in the garage of the family she’s belatedly getting to know, taking in boxes and shelves of proof of how much her sister had loved and thought of her. And for the first time anyone has seen, she completely breaks down.

#emma and jane’s relationship is so tragic because of all the wasted love #the love was THERE and STRONG but it still didn’t do anything #they didn’t get to really feel loved by each other #they didn’t even get to see each other #it’s just such a cruel waste #and emma has to live knowing it’s entirely her fault #also you can pry good person jane out of my cold dead hands #emma perkins #jane perkins #perkins sisters #hatchetfield headcanon #hatchetfield #tgwdlm #starkid black friday #nightmare time

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downstairsbar · 9 months

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i feel like I have missed you. how are you? how's life treating you? how are your sims? are you back to school?

my angel 👼🏾 it’s been a very long week i was also away until Thursday night cause i was on my first archive trip in dc which i loved so much the food scene there is crazy i had the best fried rice of my life… but that’s also came with its own health challenges bc my body is rebelling against me and keeps giving me made up white ppl illnesses like a dust allergy and potentially gluten sensitivity 😔 so I’ve just been busy and tired all the time. I haven’t opened sims in weeks or done as much writing as I wish since I’m always just so exhausted by 5pm ugh am I actually old now 😞 but i hope I can open the game again soon… do you have any outfit requests for them? anyway trying to find a woman in the 1950s archives was much harder than finding a needle in a haystack I know that’s for sure

#every day in dc i was like how can so much evil occur in such a beautiful place #also i joked i was gonna give ppl fake tours at historical monuments and tell them the constitution is illegal bc it IS. by the measures of #the law that existed when it was illegally drafted and ppl were strong armed into signing #and my sister was like please don’t get arrested in dc🤦🏾‍♀️#and i was like it’s historical fact!#And then i would think about how I knew more about this godforsaken country more than any of the ppl in office and i was like smh #but 90% of the workers at the archives were black and it both made me feel more at ease and also made me laugh i was like if black ppl do #nothing else they gonna get a government benefits job #i was obsessed #i digress again #then i saw some beautiful portraits of abe and starting vibrating at the speed of light at how old all these paintings were #qs #not back to school but always working 🥲

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oscill4te · 7 months

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Anytime i have to visit fam bd amplifies like 100% . I hate it here :v

#i truly do not want to see them today. i have to see them sunday too. and hopefully that will be it until the holidays #idk i feel so froooozen but i need to be strong and go #at least for my sisters sake #just cant stop hyperanalyzing everything though #i just hope i dont have to see my dad. my brain breaks apart anytime in around him :(#i wish i wasnt so ill and broken and that seeing them was easy #i wish i could go covered in a black bedsheet #i just feel like their critical eyes are cutting me up when i go in the house;

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mariatesstruther · 3 months

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Okay but Ellie who hates horror movies she likes action movies but horror movies are terrifying, yet she's still watches them with Sarah because she wants to bond with her big sister and Sarah absolutely loves those movies.

Joel putting up with one kid sleeping in his room half the time the girls have the girls night because Ellie gets nightmares from those damn movies but she refuses to not watch him with Sarah and refuses to tell Sarah that they scare her.

joel going out that night: be safe, girls!!!!there’s food in the fridge, and tommy’s comin’ to check in on y’all in a few hours, okay?

sarah and ellie: okay!!!!

joel: and sarah! do NOT let ellie watch any scary movies!!! you know she gets scared!

ellie: i don’t gET SCARED 😡🤬

joel: don’t watch any scary movies!!!! only somethin’ fun!!!!!!!

sarah: but DAD 😏 scary movies ARE fun

joel: NO scary movies. im warnin’ you

sarah: ugh okayyyuh

sarah and ellie, later that night, when ellie has a nightmare and needs sarah to go get joel:

#ellie would definitely get nightmares from scary movies as a baby while sarah has fun dreams abt them #homegirls just has especially strong visual memory and intrusive thoughts and a vivid imagination #that is a nightmare cocktail #i feel bad but ive just always had a hc thay ellie has bad dreams #on the flipside sarah getting creepily immense joy out of scary horror stuff is SO FUN #she just has a phase as a little where she finds a bunch of tommys really intense horror books and animes #she gets really into the visuals of them and likes all the blacks and reds and faces #tommy tries to keep them away from her but when he tries to take his copy of spooky scary stories from her she starts crying so #he started letting her book browse through them in secret but of course joel finds out #when she complains that the books at school are boring because there are no demons or monsters like uncle tommys #tommy in the back: 😰#joel: 🙃#sarah: 😃💭👹#spooky sarah #the tipsy bison #ellie and sarah #the miller sisters #oooooo i need to use that tag

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thegetdownrebooter · 11 months

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Mmm I see what you mean, but it's just that I see cis girl Kendall as having a very different relationship with Logan from canon Kendall, where she doesn't really need saving from her dad so much because he doesn't give a shit about her compared to Roman and Shiv. So her motivation would be more the ache coming from that lack, and I don't think she'd be able to convince herself that she's fine without his love or approval like Connor.

That said, she would still try to be outwardly rebellious and independent and that's probably what a lot of her relationship with Stewy would involve, but it just wouldn't work out because she needs to feel valued by her family and he isn't willing enough to play those games and let them take over his life. And yeah, I think she'd be put off by Tom being a suckup, kinda hating him for the same reason she's with him. It's just a push and pull of conflicting interests and emotions.

intresting.... i agree her relationship with stewy would be doomed because he isn't willing to play those games and would want her to tell her old man who doesn't even like her that much to fuck off, but still i feel like she simply wouldn't be attracted to someone like tom?? like, in my gut i feel like cis girl ken would have doomed relationships with headstrong men who come from their own money and don't need logan's approval because it's something she isn't familiar with and probably finds appealing in them. The downside is that those guys will eventually try to convince her to leave her abusive father behind fr both for her own sake and because they want to start a life with her but that quickly is the the beginning of the end in those relationships because ken isn't able to do that.

The thing is i personally feel like she would be miserable in a peter/caroline and tomshiv situation like, she would simply send tom packing like with jennifer in canon after tom meets logan for the first time.

#delenn this the first time we disagree #the only way for cgku tomken to work is for tom to not be middle class + 20% less of a dickrider #he can still be a opportunist of course #but he will have to be less obvious about it #but then again that also changes his entire character completely so...#i honestly think that cis girl ken would get a thrill out of dating what daddy hates at first #like before those relationships end #she still wants his approval of course but the arrested development is strong #also since ken is a rap fan... i feel like she would be crazy enough to bring a rapper home at least once #republican white girls dating black men in order to piss of daddy is a tale as old as time #but maybe that's just me #lol there is also a moment in what it takes #where tom is like “ i fell in love with your sister”#and ken is like “uh huh yeah sure”#lmfaooo #i'm sorry but i don't see the tomken vision #kendall roy #succession #succesion hbo #fandomshit

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alicentes · 2 years

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Laena and Harwin deserved to be well developed characters in their own right not just placeholder love interests for the Targaryens

#i ship them in the afterlife because it is what they deserve <3 #laena velaryon #harwin strong #hotd #house of the dragon #it is more problematic in laenas case because she is a black woman used to have daemons kids and then get fridged so he can marry his niece #same with laenor who is about to be fridged for the same reason after minimal screen time and development much like his sister #q

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coconut530 · 1 year

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So the boy possesses the All-Seeing Eyes of the Gods, does he?

#Kekkai Sensen #Blood Blockade Battlefront #6 #like if I get into Trigun I have to get into this #And boy do I like it #Leo is precious little guy and voiced by Aaron Dismuke #Who’s very good at voicing little guys (Oscar Pine)#All the other characters are fun too! K.K. is epic #I love Chain but she doesn’t do anything #Klaus is big strong guy and epic #Stephen doesn’t do a w h o l e lot but I love seeing him on screen and yeah #FEMT. :/ he’s cool #White and Black they’re cool but Black especially he seems shady #Working with Femt and all #Anyway love this anime okay byeee #UPDATE (Ep. 9) Black is precious cinnamon roll I love him if anything happens to him I will-#He just wanted to protect his SISTER #AND LIVE WITH HIS PARENTS #AAAA

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alirhi · 2 months

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my sister and I both love Black Sails, but I didn't realize until last night that we have the same level of love but for very different reasons lol. We're both geeks of pirate lore and media, and I do love learning about the real-life figures of the Golden Age of Piracy, but that's one of her special interests, while for me it's more of a hobby. I've been rewatching the show, she hasn't seen it in a while and has been sort of half-listening and occasionally chiming in with praise for Jack and Anne, among others, from the other room (we live in a camper. the "other room" is literally a foot from my bed lmao). it's led to some rather entertaining conversations lol

sis: when do they introduce Mary Read? me: at the very end, in the epilogue scene. sis: oh that's lame! me: not really? sis: but it was Jack, Anne, and Mary! they were a trio! me: you know the show isn't actually about the real-life pirates, right? sis: it's not? me: it's a prequel to Treasure Island. the real pirates are added for flavor. The story is actually about Flint, Billy Bones, and Silver. How they became who they were and how the story the book told came about. sis: ...oh.

me: I'm so glad Madi is book canon 😁❤ sis: ...who? me: the princess of the Maroons. sis: ... me: Silver's wife ...well, eventually. sis: ...? me: HOT BLACK LADY! sis: OH, HER! I like her me: I love her. she's a badass.

me a few episodes later: I'm so grateful for two things - that I've read Treasure Island, and that I didn't read it until after seeing Black Sails for the first time sis: ...okay? why? me: because if I'd read it first, it would've taken all the suspense out of like half of season 4. the "omg is Madi actually dead?! no!!!" sis: ... me: she's. she's in the book. doesn't appear, but Silver mentions her a few times. sis: ... me: she couldn't be his wife in the book if she died years earlier. so I would've known my first time watching that she'd be fine. sis: ...ah. I see.

basically her entire takeaway from the show has always been "yaaaayyyy Jack and Anne and Vane and Blackbeard and...!" and mine has been "yeah they're all sorts of awesome and I love their portrayals here, but OMG Flint and heyyyyy Billy and UNF Silver's so fkn hot and DEAR. GODS. MADI. and OH HEY, BEN GUNN! damn, he's pretty. and Max! and..."

it's probably only interesting to me lol but idk. the different views people can have of the same equally beloved piece of media fascinates me.

#black sails #treasure island #random shit #josh rambles #i love my sister #lmao #the tism is strong with these two #hyperfixation #special interest #babbling geeks lol

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silverislander · 4 months

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Your vi playlist made me insane .

> dualityofagemini

glad to know it does that to other people as well :)

#i got a bunch of songs from other playlists for her on spotify that i found but i didnt. really like most of so i made my own hbsjka #i know i added black eyes/sisters/the boxer/they looked like strong hands myself bc they make me feel shrimp emotions!#sisters in particular. it SCREAMS vi to me for the most obvious reasons #levi.txt

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bi-writes · 2 months

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mmmm i have thoughts about being threatened because you're simon riley's girl and them realizing that you're not the lady in distress they thought you would be (18+)

it is late when you get to your car. your shoulders sag from a long night at work, and you can't wait to curl up on the couch with something warm to eat and something strong to drink to lull you into a peaceful sleep tonight.

you're alone. he should be home any day now, but you aren't fortunate enough to know when that is. that is how this works, and you accepted that a long time ago. if anything, it made you appreciate the times when he is close, when he is at home. it makes your connection special, and you are comforted by the fact that your bond is more than physical.

your eyes droop, and you don't pay attention to the vehicle three cars behind you that's been tailing you since you left. you press the brake and toe the accelerator on autopilot and memory alone, and you zone out as you cross familiar streets. you think you saw a new movie to watch last night, and you think about how nice it'll be to play it as you cook dinner.

you park in your usual spot, getting out and shutting the door behind you. you open the backseat, grabbing your bag and closing the door. in the reflection of the mirror, you see someone behind you, just standing there.

you react first. you toss your head back and smack him with the back of your skull, and you're satisfied when you hear the telltale crunch of a nose breaking. when you spin around to face him, he's shouting, cradling his nose, but he flicks a blade out quickly, pressing you up against your car and putting the sharp edge to your neck.

"fuck!" he cries. "fuck! what did you fucking do?!"

you raise a brow, "you sneak up on a lady like that, and you wanna start complaining?"

"shut the fuck up," he snapped. you don't flinch, even as he digs the blade a little more into your neck. you tighten your jaw at the feeling of the edge pricking you a little. you narrow your eyes, tilting your head to the side.

"this isn't random...is it?" you ask. he stands tall, taller than you at least. he's a scrawny thing, but he's still bigger than you, and he has a weapon. his pupils are a little dilated, telling you he have taken something for the edge, and he fidgets. he's wearing a black bandana to cover the lower half of his face, but you can see the peek of brunette curls and the wild green of his eyes. you memorize the eyes, the accent--ukranian, georgian, russian? you try to place it as he speaks again.

"mm..." he shakes his head, "you're smart girl, i'll give you that."

you click your tongue, "then i don't have to tell you what a bad idea this is, do i?"

"it's because of that, that's why i'm doing this--" he comes closer, and his breath stinks, even through the mask. "they fucked with me, so i'll fuck with them. starting with their whores."

you tilt your head to the side, "oh...you really..." you smile a little, and it is off-putting. he frowns a bit momentarily. the smile you wear startles him. "you really don't get it."

"no, this is--"

"they won't just come for you," you whisper. "they're going to come for your family. mom. dad. sisters. brothers. cousins, friends--" you grit your teeth, "anyone that even so much as opens a fucking door for you or shines your goddamn shoes is going to lose a limb, are you ready for that?" you snarl a bit. "and when they find you, which they will, believe me--" you laugh, "it will be slow. it will be painful. you think you're the first?"

"fucking--"

"you aren't," you snap. "you're not the first, and you won't be the last." you glare at him, meeting his crazed eyes, and you take a deep, shaking breath. "so i want you to think again about what you're doing. i want you think about what it is you're going to do. because for every scratch they find on me...they are going to give it back to you." you blink, "so think. i'll wait."

you lean back against your car, your posture relaxed, your feet steady. it unnerves him, how calm you are. how you don't flinch, how nothing scares you, not even with his blade right against your soft skin. it doesn't phase you, and it's terrifying.

"they stole from me," he says finally. "eye for an eye. you'll just have to accept that."

you sigh, pouting a little.

"god, i...i really wish...i really wish you hadn't said that."

you bang on your car with one hand, drawing his attention away from you for just a moment. with your other, you slip your keys into your fist and you swing. you block his knife-wielding arm, sinking the pointed end of the key into his face, and you go for the vulnerable spots. back to his bleeding, broken nose, against his mouth, and the finishing blow, right into his eye.

he screams, the knife clattering to the floor, and he drops to his knees, cradling his bloody face. his hands shake, and you put your foot to his chest and kick, knocking him onto his back on the pavement.

you pick up the blade, holding it steady before you step on his neck, making him wheeze. he thrashes, preoccupied with wondering if he'll go blind in one eye.

"i told you," you spit. "you're not the first."

for a moment, your resolve breaks. your lip trembles, and you squeeze the handle of the blade tight for stability. this is the price you pay for loving someone. this is what you must do to keep a ghost, and although you feel strong and resilient and capable, you feel fear, too.

"he'll have to be the last, then."

your head snaps to the side when you hear it. he stands on the sidewalk, duffel bag at his feet. he's still wearing his gear--and fuck, he looks so big when he wears it. he looks so broad, the boots make him just that much taller, and it seems as if he hasn't had time to unload the artillery he normally wears. there's a gun holstered to his thigh and magazines stuffed into their pockets in his vest. he still wears his mask, eye-black smeared messily across his pale face.

it means he came here immediately--it means he didn't have time to undress. it means he wanted to come home, and come home fast.

you breathe easier when you see him there. when you step aside and the man beneath you gets a look at him with his good eye, he starts to cry. he sputters, starts to beg, but it falls on deaf ears.

the gravel on the pavement crunches under his boots as he comes near. like a magnet, a gloved hand comes up and grips you firmly on the back of the neck, and you lean up on your toes, tilting your head back just enough to kiss him through the mask.

it's soft, sweet, a little hungry after the time apart. you pull away slowly, smiling up at him. he narrows his eyes, angry, but it isn't at you.

"missed you," you whisper, and he grips your jaw with one big hand, tilting your head to the side. he grunts when he sees the thin line left behind from the blade, tiny droplets of blood beginning to peek out from it. "missed you so much--"

you gasp when his hand falls and gropes you. cupping one side of your ass, squeezing the fat of it in his paw and drawing you near. he pressed the front of you against him, despite the layers that separate you, and he hisses.

"are you olright?"

you nod. "just fine. he's new at this, i think."

you hum as he squeezes your ass again, patting it gently before nodding back towards home.

"get inside," he leans down and presses his covered mouth to yours again, and you can feel the rumble of his growl deep in his chest. "gonna rid y'of the rubbish, sweetheart."

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #ghost mw2 #ghost cod #ghost call of duty #ghost mwii #ghost x reader #cod #call of duty #simon riley smut #simon ghost riley smut #simon thoughts

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lizzobetumblin · 26 days

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Melissa hated her feelings.

She buried them in a chest in the 5th grade (along with her ability to express them). Other peoples' feelings on the other hand was her forte. She could process, decipher and regurgitate other peoples emotions effortlessly. This gift could’ve taken her through college, all the way to a degree in psychology. Distinguished Dr. Jefferson with a PhD and a cozy office and impressive roster of high-profile, weallthy clients was a shiny idea. Fate would have a different hand for Melissa her talents were exhausted on mediating family fights, friend group drama, and charming her way out of confronting her own feelings.

“Feelings.” Even saying it out loud to herself seemed silly. Something reserved for ‘cry babies’ and water signs. Typical Sunday nights started tame, reading or writing fan-fiction and drinking cranapple juice. And then like clock work her father would yell her name,

‘MELISSA!!!’ Emotionless, she’d get up dust off her Winnie the Pooh shorts and make her way downstairs. On the long walk down the hall to the stairs leading to the living room brawl, she’d go through her check list:

1.) Don’t cry.

2.) Stay neutral; Deescalate

3.)Don’t take anything personal. This isn’t about you

She padded down the carpeted stairs in her old soft socks to see her mother tightlipped and tear streaked thinking,

‘she broke rule number 1’. Her father, Michael was proud and angry, his big belly filled with self righteousness. She knew he would be unyielding in his resolve and at this point her only option was to deescalate.

‘Rule number 2’. Then her sister the water sign and calamity for the evening sat on the floor nearly fetal, face red and raw with emotion.

‘Its not your fault’ Melissa wanted to say ‘You just didn’t follow the rules… you’re loved.’ But she couldn’t say that because she’d be breaking rule number 3. It wasn’t about how Melissa felt. Even though she felt like screaming,

“VANESSA, YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. DAD—YOU JUST HAVE PENT UP ANGER BECAUSE YOU GREW UP IN THE HOOD OF DETROIT AS A BLACK MAN IN THE 60s AND 70s. YOU NEED A HEALTHY OUTLET LIKE.. I DONT KNOW… THERAPY?!?!?! THIS IS A WASTE OF ALL OF OUR TIME. I LITERALLY JUST WROTE THE BEST SAILOR SATURN x CHIBI USA FANFICTION EVER AND THIS IS KILLING MY VIBE!”

Instead, she decide to hear every one out. She decided to help. To calm her dragon of a father down. To be a translator for her emotional sister. To not take it personal. To stay neutral. To not cry.

9 years later, at her fathers funeral she still never broke the rules. She played her flute and spoke at his memorial. She was present for her mother because it wasn’t about her. When other peoples' emotions bubbled up she stayed neutral. She sat through both services and she did not cry. It wasn’t until she excused herself to make a phone call outside did she collapse onto the stairs of the funeral home and weep alone in the cold Detroit snow.

It’s okay to break the rules sometimes, she reminded herself. As long as no one else sees it.

Traumas began to compact on Melissa, as they do. Humans tend to collect traumas like pebbles on a long hike. We toss them into our backpacks and keep moving forward. Some hikers would falter, but Melissa was built for this. She’d carried the stones of her family’s traumas uphill for years. She was strong.

When men began to befriend and reject her, saying ‘you’re too good for me’ but not too good to make them feel good. She carried that.

When childhood friends began to cut off the strings of her heart, saying ‘We can’t be friends anymore’. She carried that.

When her family separated like dandelion seeds, it seemed like they’d never be together again. Melissa slept on so many couches, floors and car seats sometimes she didn’t know if she’d see them again.

She carried that.

Dying was never an option though sometimes she didn’t mind the thought of it. Peace and warmth were two things she’d desperately yearned and hadn’t felt fully since the womb. Then one night in the pitch black of the hot, sweaty, roach-infested studio in southeast Houston she slept in she wondered:

‘Why can’t I break the rules?’ She’d seen everyone else in her life break them like popsicle sticks. And she didn’t just want to break the rules, she wanted to break them boldly and loudly and annoyingly and honestly and sloppily like every one else gets to do. It was in that moment, tucked in a thin jacket inside of an 8-foot high instrument cubby in the inky darkness—it hit her.

‘Is my suffering for a high purpose? Or is my suffering trying to kill me?’

She cried.

She escalated.

She took it personal.

But it wasn’t enough. She wanted to scream in a microphone in a sea of shadowy faces. She drank whiskey and wove her pain into rock music.

‘Music is my boyfriend’ she declared. The only man that kept his baggage to hisself. And it healed her. It gave her voice reason and purpose.

The pebble-laden hike became lighter with time. The incline eventually evened out to flat, beautiful landscapes where the breeze finally met her back. She knew it wasn’t gonna be easy or sunshine but even the rain cleansed her and it was beautiful too.

Somewhere in the rain she decided rules were meant to be built and broken. Like trust and love and friendships and families. Because every thing deserves the opportunity to change and grow.

So... She broke rule number 1 on stage while singing a beautiful song. Dr. Jefferson (PhD) screamed for her to stop but she didn’t listen and the tears flowed like rivers of emotion down her cheeks.

Rule number 2 was broken when she grew older and saw the injustices of the world. Marching with hundreds in protest she realized not everything needs to be pacified.

And one day when she finally fell in love, she broke rule number 3. No matter how much training she’d done she couldn't help but take every thing her lover said and did personal. But it was ok. Because in all her resistance she realized breaking rules was her power.

Melissa began to fall for her feelings. Her feelings gave life purpose. They weren’t always logical, as feelings seldom are. They were sloppy and embarrassing and rude and so fucking uncomfortable. But they were hers. And they were real. And when she sat alone sipping wine, staring at the moon…They were the only ones still by her side. Ready to break the rules for her because they loved her.

And she finally loved them back.

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