#still it does mean I draw stuff like this a lot less in my free time
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Assassins!! They’re friends!!!!
#I ship em tbh#I think they should open up an orphanage together#fire emblem#fe engage#2023 art#yunaka#zelkov#art like this always does worse than my dumb comics#which is absolutely not surprising btw#I too would rather retweet or reblog silly things#still it does mean I draw stuff like this a lot less in my free time#I am not immune to validation#carrying over my posts from twitter choo chooooo
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NEON Carnival Q&A Pamphlet Translation
disclaimer: apparently Taiwanese Mandarin is different from what I speak, so some of these may need to be taken with a grain of salt! my credentials are that my native language is Cantonese and I know - but am rusty on - Mainland Mandarin.
Q: Do the characters have set dick sizes?
A: The team has a "super⭐secret measure", every time they draw the characters they'll reference it.
Q: Between Quincy and Olivine, who has the bigger breasts?
A: The team fought over this and couldn't decide, so there's no answer.
Q: I want to know the ages of the long lived ones, the yokai, and the familiars! Who's the oldest?
A: From oldest to youngest are: Kuya > Quincy > Rei > Aster > Morvay > Yakumo > Garu. The specifics of their ages will be revealed in the game.
Q: Who's older between Father and Topper?
A: Father is older than Topper!
Q: The game has a lot of retro stuff, super curious about the producer's age!
A: Retro has nothing to do with the producer's age!!!
Q: How are the kinks of each room thought up?
A: The devs think of them in the small dark room, the artbook sketches include clues.
[t/n: I consulted two other Chinese speakers and I'm still not really sure what the answer actually means, so this is a best guess translation.]
Q: What's inside the small dark room?
A: Tired and busy devs......
Q: When designing event outfits, how do you decide where to open holes?
A: Different people will think of the parts they want to highlight, later on we'll also test different levels of nakedness. (it's not like we haven't thought of throwing darts to decide)
[t/n: little unsure about this one too. it's possible it means they think of which part of the characters they want to highlight, but they used 眷屬 rather than 角色.]
EDIT: @milkeumilkeou has informed me that in the specific context of nuca, 眷屬 means clan members. that's what I get for not playing the game in Chinese... in this case, the better translation is:
A: Depending on the clan member the devs will open the holes at the places they want to highlight, later on they'll also test different levels of nakedness. (it's not like they haven't thought of throwing darts to decide)
Q: How were the voice actors chosen?
A: The producer chose them according to the characters' personalities and the desired voice. Many thanks to the voice actors!
Q: How far in advance do future events begin production?
A: Usually the topic is decided on about 4 - 6 months in advance, and then production begins.
Q: I want to know which character the devs think would be the best coworker!
A: Everyone agrees the best coworkers would be Eiden, Edmond and Olivine; Dante's work ability is also very strong, but he's more like a head that scares people.
[t/n: 'head' may also translate to director or manager.]
Q: Do the characters have body hair?
A: The devs actually really wanted to draw it, but considered various realistic reasons, so the players can't see body hair, but you're free to imagine it! (let Quincy have some stubble... how would that be?)
[t/n: I would guess that the 'realistic reasons' they considered are probably that BL typically doesn't feature body hair, so it might've made the game less marketable.]
Q: Who has the most sexual experience?
A: Morvay! (super fast answer)
[t/n: the question is literally "who has the most experience♂️?" lol]
Q: Does the Klein Continent have a habit of wearing underwear?
A: Klein has underwear. Just like hats, gloves, and scarves, when considering factors like decoration and functionality, to wear or not to wear underwear, and what type of underwear to wear, all depend on each person's preferences.
Q: Is Eiden's light brown hair dyed?
A: Yes, and he'll regularly re-dye it.
Q: Does Eiden prefer briefs or boxers?
A: It's okay as long as it's snug and covers him, and he has some special styles.
Q: I want to know how Eiden gets to work!
A: Eiden rides a motorcycle, and on rainy days he'll switch to public transportation.
Q: What opportunity led to Eiden's interest in design? Did his designing always have to do with sex toys?
A: Eiden has had artistic talent from a young age, and hoped to turn his passion into a job. His first job was being a sex toy designer at Peak of Pleasure, and this job happened to combine his two interests of design and sex. Aside from the overtime, for Eiden, this was an ideal job.
[t/n: in case you don't remember, Peak of Pleasure is the name of Eiden's old workplace as mentioned in Journey to a NU World.]
Q: I want to know Eiden's relationship history! Did he have boyfriends before?
A: Eiden knew he liked men from a young age. When he was fifteen he had a bitter first love, and afterwards his partners were all short term. Towards relationships he carries a generous attitude of easy-come-easy-go, and thinks that being happy in the moment is more important.
Q: Does Topper have others of his kind?
A: He used to, but when he met Quincy, among those of his kind only Topper was left.
[t/n: 手足 may also translate to 'siblings' or 'close friends', as opposed to 'others of his kind'.]
Q: Who makes Topper's outfits?
A: Sometimes they're prepared by Quincy, sometimes they're made by Eiden.
Q: Does the food Topper hide in Quincy's hair affect Quincy washing his hair?
A: No, Quincy will wash his hair when it needs to be washed. But not long after Quincy washes his hair, the food stores in his hair will be quickly refilled by Topper.
Q: I want to know Topper and Father's weights!
A: Little animals' weights will fluctuate, but there's no direct link to fur amount. Topper weighs about a third of a pampo, Father only weighs about half a music box.
[t/n: pampo as in the pumpkins from Eerie Escapade.]
Q: What's Yakumo's signature dish?
A: He's good at everything, especially savory food. Because of his grandparents' influence he rarely eats sweets, and he can't quite grasp the seasoning amount, but after meeting Eiden he's begun to research sweets recipes.
Q: How is Edmond's knights' uniform worn?
A: The uniform has a top piece and a bottom piece, the jumpsuit has a zipper on the back for convenience.
Q: If Edmond came to Taiwan, how sweet would he order his boba tea?
A: After ordering full sweetness, Edmond would feel that it could be twice as sweet.
Q: How many nipple chains does Olivine have?
A: Olivine makes all of his own nipple chains. He'll change them based on style and mood. The number continues to increase.
Q: Will Quincy help brush Topper's fur?
A: Quincy will sometimes help brush Topper, but most of the time Topper will groom himself.
Q: Quincy, Olivine, and Kuya, who would win an arm wrestling match?
A: Olivine would win, because Quincy wouldn't take it seriously and Kuya wouldn't compete.
Q: Please reveal Kuya's real height!
A: It's 178cm ^^.
Q: I want to know Kuya's experiences before and after becoming a yokai!
A: Kuya's journey of becoming a yokai will be revealed in future scenes. What can be revealed now is that, after Kuya became a yokai, he was a lawbreaker for some time...
Q: When Kuya addresses Quincy, why did it change from "boring associate" to "old friend"?
A: When Kuya says "old friend" he doesn't mean true friends, he just likes addressing people in ways that make them uncomfortable, like "Master Rei".
[t/n: Kuya probably didn't call Quincy "boring associate", but I have no idea where to begin looking for what he actually called Quincy.]
EDIT: Kuya used to call Quincy "boring clan member" rather than "boring associate". credit to @milkeumilkeou once again!
Q: Does Garu sleep nude?
A: He doesn't like pajamas that are restrictive or impede movement, but if it's cold Eiden will wrap him up in clothes or a blanket!
Q: When Dante first adopted Sooley, how did they get along?
A: At first Dante got bitten terribly, because he tried to train Sooley to do various tricks. As they spent more time together, the two eventually developed some mutual understanding of wildness.
Q: Can Dante swim?
A: Dante thinks that with something as small as swimming, you just need to learn!
[t/n: Dante dodges the question here and neither confirms nor denies whether he can swim, just says that anyone can learn. knowing how he is, he's probably being ambiguous because he doesn't want to admit he can't.]
Q: How many darlings has Blade made?
A: Because Blade's favorite is cute things, it's infinitely increasing......
[t/n: 'darlings' as in the goofy little statue guys]
Q: Has Rei always been in the Water Territory? Has he moved before?
A: Rei doesn't have a fixed home, he moves regularly. The room in the Water Territory is just one of his hiding places, it used to be an abandoned house.
Q: Does Rei eat when he's experimenting?
A: He'll eat if he remembers, if Father's there he'll also remind Rei.
Q: If Fluff Balls think Fluff Balls are cute, will they eat their own kind?
A: They won't eat each other. If there aren't cute things around, the Fluff Balls will journey in search of them.
[t/n: since when was eating cute things part of Fluff Ball lore...?]
Q: Where is everyone's erogenous zones?
A: Aside from the gemstones, everyone's erogenous zones are as follows:
Eiden: lower abdomen
Yakumo: tongue
Edmond: nipples
Olivine: entire chest
Quincy: dick, palms
Kuya: ears
Garu: tail
Blade: darling♡
Dante: tattoos, especially the Adam's apple and fingers [t/n: might be throat instead of specifically Adam's apple]
Rei: moles
Q: I want to know where everyone starts washing when they shower!
A: Hair: Eiden, Yakumo, Edmond, Olivine, Topper (the fur on top of his head)
Face: Dante, Sooley
Upper body: Quincy, Father (chest feathers)
Lower body: Garu (tail first), Morvay (also tail first♂️)
Anywhere's fine: Rei, Blade (e-droids' bodies will automatically maintain cleanliness)
Kuya: nobody knows where he washes first, but it's said he showers every day
Aster: likes to bathe
Q: When drawing characters, are there emphasized specialties?
A: Eiden: dick size, the balance of everything
Yakumo: height, his slender body, the size of his feet as proportional to his height, finger length
Edmond: waist to hip ratio, thighs
Olivine: chest, eyes
Quincy: arms, shoulders, pecs, Topper
Kuya: face, palms
Garu: his face/cheeks shape, his round butt
Blade: eyes, balanced model-like body, his cheeks when he smiles
Dante: perfectly triangular upper body
Rei: the firm lines of his body
Aster: brattiness and cuteness
Morvay: muscular but not too buff
Q: In Aster's mansion, does everyone have their favorite locations?
A: Eiden: his own study (he designs a lot of things here)
Yakumo: kitchen (cooking)
Garu: kitchen (stealing Yakumo's cooking)
Edmond: garden (frequently has afternoon tea here)
Olivine: library
Blade: library
Quincy: quiet places where he can sleep
Kuya: next to the fireplace
Dante: living room
Rei: places to put collectables
Aster: personal money vault
Morvay: likes being outside, doesn't like staying home
Q: Do the characters have personal clothes?
A: Eiden: in his rebellious phase he liked dressing up, now he prefers simple, comfortable clothes. He has a changing room at Aster's house, and every event he'll absorb the local trends and design outfits that fit Klein aesthetics and seasons.
Yakumo: aside from traditional snake yokai attire, Yakumo's clothes are almost entirely bought by his grandparents.
Edmond: because he's nobility, he has a lot of clothes.
Olivine: because he dedicated his life to the priesthood, Olivine doesn't have many personal clothes.
Quincy: he has few clothes. Most of them are made by him, so they're rare.
Kuya: he likes trendy and new stuff, so he has a lot of accessories.
Garu: it was only after he started living with Aster that he started getting more clothes (Aster and Eiden buy a lot of clothes for him).
Blade: he'll wear whatever people give him, and he looks good in everything.
Dante: he doesn't like wasting money, but as the Sun Lord, he has special outfits for important occasions.
Rei: it's fine as long as it's wearable, he prioritizes ease of movement.
Aster: prefers pretty, fancy designs, and especially likes clothes with cute accessories.
Morvay: likes practical (easy to take off) clothes.
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hello i am asking politely for your mommy Medic surgeon goresex thoughts. feel free to use the reply to this ask as your dumping ground if it would be easier than an original post!
Welllll if you insist! Putting all this under a cut bc despite my cool exterior I'm extremely ashamed of every thought I've ever had (and bc I wanna put this in some tags and if the juicy stuff is under a cut no one can complain)
Uhhh CWs for sex, gore, goresex, surgery kink, medfet, mommy kink (just the title and the persona for Medic, no specified role for the sub), needles, knives, boot stuff, whatever. This makes me feel like a real writer
Sooo first things first bc I think people won't understand this one at first: Medic tf2 is a man who is a mommy dom. To me and to a lot of other kinky people, there exists a non-gendered semantic difference between a "daddy dom" and a "mommy dom", so women can be daddies and, much more rarely, men can certainly be mommies. Kink educator Evie Lupine describes mommy doms as "giggly, joyful sadists". Sound like someone we know? He's mommy (Mommy doms are also typically more "nurturing" and smothering than daddy doms, I'll get to that later)
I really love characterizing Medic as extremely faux-sympathetic (with flashes of real sympathy every now and again), so he's telling you (or whoever) just how bad he feels for you, you poor thing, that looks like it really hurts, and it's, like, the extra hand he attached to your pelvis. If it does actually hurt and the procedure wasn't successful he will safely remove it, though
Although I definitely think Medic can be mean, I think ESPECIALLY in a gorekink/medfet context, he gives a LOT of praise. He's SUPER full of himself, he'd never deride one of his Crowning Achievements In The Field Of Medical Science!
Similarly, he's very good about giving compliments specific to like, all of a person's inside stuff. The size of your organs, the shade of your blood, the prominence of your veins, the sturdiness of your bones... Medic tf2 is leaned over you on the vivisection table lovingly stroking your liver and cooing about how much he loves the color
This one's kind of a big one for me tbh... I think Medic tf2 would intentionally (consensually, temporarily) incapacitate someone so he gets to take care of them. Misery-style. My favorite version of this is Medic "accidentally" taking too much of someone's blood out during a blood draw, so they get all sleepy and he needs to feed them (with his boobs) and let them rest (on his boobs). Despite it all I think he really does like to feel needed.
I think Mommy Medic can be veryyyy... smothering. Figuratively and literally. He can really heap on the compliments, especially with a character who isn't very used to praise, which is its own kind of sadism. And he literally suffocates you in his boobs/thighs/ass/tummy/whatever. That one's a little less psychological.
Okayyyy goresex time... surgery makes Medic horny and he wants to fuck people's internal organs. Tf2 is really fun for this because the medigun is a built-in explanation for how he can do that while the other person is still awake. In Meet the Medic he should've been straddling Heavy's hips and jacking off onto his large intestine.
I don't know how into drinking blood normal humanguy Medic would be, but he definitely likes touching blood. Getting it all over his hands. I think he'd maybe be more into making you (or whoever) drink blood, lick it off his gloves, off his boots, off his big hairy (eroticized body part of your choice here). One of those things that he probably intends as a humiliation thing but if you're enough of a freak you just enjoy for what it is.
The penetration imagery of the needle. I read something like that recently about the scene in Breaking Bad where Jesse does heroin for the first time and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. You understand
On a humiliation note, I think Medic would think it's Very fun to "force" (lovingly encourage) someone to call him "mommy" if they're embarrassed about it, which I think most of his team would be. Medic using kink to help Sniper drop his inhibitions and give in to his urges and Have Fun is one of my fave bushmed dynamics and I definitely think getting Sniper to get over the hill and call him "mommy" for the first time would be a big thing for him. Of course this is all part of his plan to break you (consensually!) and have you (or whoever!) whimpering into his cleavage as he gets to nurture you
Imagine everything I just said but he's in a sexy nurse outfit that's extremely visibly too small for him. And also just COMPLETELY covered in blood. That's my vision
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Hurt/Comfort Fic Recs!
This week, we have thirteen hurt/comfort fics recced! Some emotional hurt/comfort, some physical whump, and sometimes combinations of the two. Check them out under the cut, and as ever, comment or kudos if you like them!
those that crawl and flutter towards the sun by vietbluecoeur (vietbluefic) (6163,Not Rated)
Warnings: Major Character Death, Very Mild Insect Imagery, Mortality and Discussions Thereof, Sad & Gentle Ending
Pairings: Jester Lavorre & Essek Thelyss
Essek has always been warned not to touch the creatures, called the in’luthin, "insects" with a lifespan of three days, but what harm is there in just looking? And anyways, when has Essek ever been one to listen?
Reccer says: From the very first words, this fic has such a luxurious weight to it. Some of the Mighty Nein appear, but this is definitively a story between AroAce Essek and AroAce Jester as bittersweet as the tags imply, only less bitter and more longing, and definitely, definitely sweet.
Spit, elbow grease, and a whole lot of gold by Multifandom_damnation (2006,Teen)
Warnings: None
Pairings: Ashton Greymoore & Milo Krook
The Nobodies dump Ashton off on Milo's table, and Milo does his best to fix him
Reccer says: Milo voices all of my rage at Ashton's treatment wonderfully. The fic also does a great job of managing the actual process of fixing him, along with all of the emotions involved as well
Philia, Is That You? by Professor_Rye (2034,General)
Warnings: None
Pairings: Yasha & Mollymauk
Yasha gets hurt protecting Mollymauk from assholes, and the Mollymauk helps Yasha make sure she's actually okay
Reccer says: QPRs my beloved
Crowned Teeth (or, An Offering Revoked) by fruitzbat (130570,Mature)
Warnings: Frank depictions of PTSD/galley slavery
Pairings: Kingsley Tealeaf/Original Character
Kingsley is mutinied against and sold into slavery halfway across the world. He breaks out, finds out the mutiny was the inside job to end all inside jobs, and makes his survival everyone else's problem.
Reccer says: I really, really like the way that this series explores different kinds of hurt and trauma, and how those kinds of hurt affect people's relationships and self-image. The first and second fics in the series are the most direct about the subject, but the third has a lot about what it means to lose a parental figure and complicated grief/trauma response stuff that I found really refreshing. Characters are messy and non-linear in their healing, and do their best to take care of each other. There's a lot of...I don't know how to say this, but a very no-bullshit look at the concept of the power of love that is this through-thread through the stories. Anyway, I really like them.
Trust by silversky (403,General)
Warnings: None
Pairings: Caleb & Nott
Nott is sick and delirious, but thankfully there is someone there to make sure she's okay.
Reccer says: the fic is very soft and warm
Scar Tissue by Belphegor (0,Teen)
Warnings: scars, canon-typical violence, reference to main character death (and resurrection)
Pairings: Scanlan Shorthalt/Pike Trickfoot
Sometimes surviving means learning to live with the scars that killed you. Pike knows a lot about that. Scanlan is still learning. (a little comics set a bit post-Campaign 1.)
Reccer says: Author here - sorry, I usually don't shamelessly self-plug like that, but I set out to write and draw post-campaign 1 hurt/comfort dealing with Pike's and Scanlan's different resurrection-related traumas, and I poured my entire heart into it. (turns out making comics is hard but totally worth it.)
I've Held You in the Plan by CitizenMocha (4015,Teen)
Warnings: None
Pairings: Vex & Vax
After all is said and done with the Apogee Solstice and its aftermath, Vox Machina free Vax from the Malleus Key. The twins are reunited. Rest, reflection, and a revelation about what happens next ensue.
Reccer says: Vex's grief is palpable throughout the entire fic, even as--especially as, actually--she's reunited with Vax. It's a heartaching yet triumphant look at what might happen when the events of C3 are all said and done. There's so many little details woven in that serve to make it pack even more of a punch ("Vax Speed" does so many things to my heart) and the dynamic between all of Vox Machina is wonderful as well.
The Night is Starting to Ache by CitizenMocha (3872,General)
Warnings: None
Pairings: Gwendolyn De Rolo & Vax De Rolo & Percy De Rolo
Set after episode 76 of campaign 3. It's the middle of the night and Gwendolyn is afraid to sleep.
Reccer says: I loved this glimpse of an older Percy as a loving, indulgent father doing his best to comfort his child.
maybe then my breath could embody by lunarblazes (1331,Teen)
Warnings: None
Pairings: Caduceus & Calliope Clay
Calliope and Caduceus have a fun bonding moment about the fucked up shit that happens when you leave home
Reccer says: There's so many little details I love in this, it's perfectly in character, and I love their sibling not-quite-comforting each other dynamic
a garden in the stars by wanderingBasilisk (2264,General)
Warnings: None
Pairings: Caduceus & Fjord
Caduceus stays back on the Nein's spaceship while the others run errands on a space station. When Fjord gets overstimulated from the crowds there, Jester brings him back to the ship and to Cad, who knows just what his friend needs.
Reccer says: It's very atmospheric (the description of the garden on board the Nein Heroez is So Evocative) and the familiarity and care between Cad and Fjord is so lovely and sweet. The time they've spent together and the comfort of a well-worn routine is apparent throughout the whole fic and comes together in the sweetest way.
Canities Subita: An Exploration of Self-Image by oversteepedearlgrey (1760,Teen)
Warnings: Choose not to warn
Pairings: Percy & Vox Machina
Percy hates looking in the mirror. He keeps his hair short and out of his face. He can’t wear his glasses during haircuts, and he certainly can’t be the one cutting it. It takes a creek, a bear, and a panic attack to find out why.
Reccer says: Percy is wonderful for hurt comfort, but I love the way that this is handling something that is more emotionally distressing than physically painful.
A Pirate's Bounty of Gold Doubloons by bluegreenamber (1823,Mature)
Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence
Pairings: Kingsley & Yussa
Kingsley hadn't been expecting any company today, especially not a powerful (and injured) elven wizard seeking refuge.
Reccer says: It's a really fun pairing!
Miles to Go by Crewe (3621,Teen)
Warnings: None
Pairings:
After a grueling battle, Vox Machina is hours away from the nearest cleric racing to get an unconscious Keyleth to Pike before poison takes its toll. Scanlan is hiding an injury to keep attention on Keyleth. It’s maybe a little worse than he expected.
Reccer says: Lovely fic where everyone is perfectly in-character, and the humour and tension are balanced just right, as are the worry and deflection (on both sides). Special mention to the Scanlan & Grog and Vex & Scanlan pairings, those add just the necessary acid-sweet icing on the h/c cake!
This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3
And hey, anyone includes you!
Next week, we'll be featuring Yasha!
Then, it'll be clothes, time skip/future fics, and pranks!
Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!
If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!
#critical role#critter genfic rec lists#gen fic#Percy De Rolo#gwen de rolo#Hurt/Comfort#WHump#Scanlan Shorthalt#Pike Trickfoot#vexhalia#vax'ildan#Jeser Lavorre#essek thelyss#mollymauk tealeaf#kingsley tealeaf#yussa errenis#keyleth of the air ashari#Caduceus Clay#Calliope Clay#Fjord Stone#caleb widogast#Nott the Brave#ashton greymoore#Milo Krook
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Chapter Seven - A Real Rain
Summary: FBI agent Leila faces a profound life change after giving birth to a baby girl, supported by her loving husband. Despite the challenges of motherhood, Leila returns to her role as a dedicated agent a few months later, ready to confront gruesome and haunting cases with the BAU team.
Pairing: BAU!Fem!OC x Male!OC , EVENTUAL Aaron Hotchner x BAU!Fem!OC (Like much later)
Warnings: This story contains mature themes such as sexual content, strong language, violence, mentions of alcohol and drugs, blood, gore, and death. All the usual Criminal Minds stuff. And there is NO CHEATING.
Note 1: I imagine Leila Kade as South Asian but I have decided to let you, the reader, imagine her appearance, hence the reason why I have not given her a face claim. However, her race does not affect the story, whatsoever. You, as the reader, are free to imagine her however you want. If you don't see her as South Asian, then that's fine. It won't affect the storyline. I also imagine the OC!Male as South Asian, but again, it won't affect the storyline.
Note 2: The team will consist of the main cast (Emily, Derek, JJ, Spencer, Penelope, Aaron, and Rossi) but will also include Elle Greenaway and Jason Gideon because they were some of my favorite characters and I wanted to include them with the rest of the team. Basically, Elle and Gideon never leave when Emily and Rossi join.
Note 3: There will be multiple time skips throughout this series. For example, the first chapter will begin on the first season and episode of the show but then there will be a time skip to later episodes (because there are obviously way too many episodes to write this series on and I wanted to include specific episodes that would help the plot of this story). This means that this series will be a slow burn romance but I believe it to be better this way. This will also stray from the actual show a lot, so don't expect it to follow the plot precisely.
Series Masterlist
Season 1, Episode 17
Jasmine's joyful giggles filled the room as Zaid continued to play with her, bouncing her gently on his stomach. Leila lay on her pillow, her eyes heavy with exhaustion, but her heart warmed by the sight of her husband and daughter bonding.
"I don't want to go to work." Leila mumbled, her voice barely audible as she fought the urge to stay in bed.
Zaid turned his attention from their daughter to Leila, his expression softening with understanding. Still holding Jasmine securely, he offered her a gentle smile. "I know, honey." He said. His gaze briefly returned to Jasmine, pride and love evident in his eyes, before he turned back to Leila. "Why don't you take a day off today? Just one day to relax and recharge. It won't hurt, right?"
Leila paused, considering Zaid's suggestion. The thought of a break sounded enticing. The last extended break she'd taken was during her maternity leave, which felt like ages ago. However, all the thoughts washed away when her phone started ringing.
“Never mind.” Zaid sighed.
Leaving her family was the most challenging part. She had deep respect for her job, knowing that catching those sick criminals meant one less murderer on the streets. However, she couldn't help but despise being away from her family for days on end.
Being a mom while also being an FBI agent wasn't the easiest job. Although she had her husband, Jasmine sometimes wouldn't even go to her dad, wanting to be with her mom all the time. Balancing the demands of working tough cases for days straight and then being back at home to take care of her daughter and spend time with her family as a whole took a toll on her mental health. But at least she had Zaid, who helped her in any way he could.
As she prepared to say goodbye, Zaid wrapped his arms around her, drawing her closer to his chest. "You're overworking yourself. You should take a break soon."
She sighed, resting her head on his chest. "I know. I will soon. Maybe after this case."
"Okay, good." He replied, planting a kiss on the top of her head. "I love you."
"I love you, too." Leila said, glancing over his shoulder to see Jasmine lying on the bed. She walked over and sat on the edge, giving her daughter a quick kiss on her forehead. "I love you, Jasmine."
Jasmine squealed with delight, kicking her legs in response to her mom's affection. Zaid joined the baby on the bed, knowing how fussy their daughter could get when her mom had to leave.
On the jet, Leila sat next to Elle, who was playing cards with JJ and Spencer. They were en route to their new case, which involved a serial killer who stabbed knives into the victims' ears, then broke off the handles. Leila put on her glasses and delved into the case file.
“This is not how I planned to spend a few days home in New York.” Elle said, looking carefully at her cards.
“I'd kill for an afternoon at Barneys and dinner at Il Cantinori.” JJ responded.
“I'm looking forward to seeing New York.” Spencer chimed in, shocking everyone on the plane with his response.
Derek raised an eyebrow. “You've never been to New York?”
Spencer shook his head. “We've never had an unsub there.”
Aaron turned to Gideon, overhearing their conversation. “I thought you were going to talk to Reid about taking some vacation time.”
“What's vacation time?” Gideon sarcastically questioned.
“Reid, it's a one-hour flight.” Derek exasperated, still shocked.
“Well, if we have some time, I'll show you around.” JJ smiled reassuringly at Spencer.
“It's a three-hour train ride, man.” Everyone, except Leila, laughed, while Spencer looked flustered.
Leila rubbed her temples, sensing a headache coming on. Zaid was right, she really was overworking herself. She was afraid she might become sick soon.
Elle looked over at her and furrowed her eyebrows. “Hey, you okay?” She whispered, as not to gain attention from the members on the plane. “Do you need anything?”
Leila shook her head, laying her back onto the seat. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“It’s kind of my job to worry about you, Leila.” Elle retorted. “I’m here if you need anything.”
Leila looked at her from the corner of her eyes, giving her a tight-lipped smile. “Thanks, Elle.”
Situating herself at the station in New York, her raging headache did not subside even after they landed. Leila took some painkillers in hopes that the headache would go away, but it had yet to kick in.
Someone placed a glass of water in front of her, causing Leila to look up. Aaron sat down in the chair next to her, keeping his usual stoic face present. “Drink it.”
Leila rolled her eyes but complied, bringing the glass to her lips and taking a few sips. “Thanks.” She mumbled, placing it back down and closing her eyes.
“You’re overworking yourself.” Aaron stated, narrowing his eyes at her. “If you need a few days off, just tell me.”
She scoffed, rubbing her eyes. “Aaron, if I needed a day off, I would’ve told you. And I don’t want to leave you guys.”
Locking eyes with her, his stern face didn’t falter. “You’re a vital member of this team but if you need some time away, I understand. You’re an agent who is also a mother to a little girl, so you have priorities outside of work.”
Her face softened at the mention of Jasmine. She put the glass of water down onto the desk, then clasped her hands together to tuck under her chin. “I guess I do need a break.” Aaron was about to speak before she cut him off. “After this case, though. I’m taking a break after we’re done with this case.”
Aaron nodded his head before standing up. He gently offered a comforting touch on her shoulders before walking away.
The team decided to get dinner at a nearby restaurant, not having found any new leads in the case after a long day. Leila’s headache had finally simmered down, allowing her to feel comfortable with working once again.
“So you know there was a big hole in the profile you presented back there.” Aaron told Gideon, as they all began to eat. Leila smelled the delicious food and immediately dove in, feeling starved from the entire day.
JJ looked confused, looking between Aaron and Gideon. “What's the hole?”
“I left out the possibility our UnSub might be a cop.” Gideon answered. Leila looked up at them, her eyes going from one person to the next as she continued to chew her food.
Derek chimed in. “Well, they do know the system. They're definitely overworked and underpaid.”
Aaron nodded his head but his eyes were set on his plate. “They see so much injustice every day they can easily take matters into their own hands.”
Leila swallowed before inputting her own comment. “It would certainly make sense.”
Spencer added his own facts, all while struggling to use the chopsticks. “When someone like our victim is killed, police refer to the murder as a public service murder.”
“You know how many rapists I saw walk during my Sex Crime days?” Elle shook her head, sighing. “And either the victims, they didn't want to press charges, or the juries, they said that she was asking for it. It was enough to make you explode.”
Leila took a napkin to wipe the corner of her mouth, holding it in her hand as she continued to eat. “The system is messed up. It doesn’t make sense how these people can just get away.”
“Well, it's a long way from feeling like that and actually committing murder.” JJ stated. “Don't you think?”
“Oh, not really.” Aaron responded to JJ’s question. At the same time, Spencer asked the waiter for a fork, causing everyone to snicker. Leila grinned, shaking her head at the boy’s actions.
“Did you know that experts credit Confucius with the advent of the chopstick?” Spencer began again with his facts. “He equated knives with acts of aggression.”
Derek laughed, holding the chopsticks up. “You don't know how to use them, do you?”
“It's like trying to forage for dinner with a pair of number two pencils.” Spencer answered and the table burst out laughing.
“Okay, here let me help you.” JJ said, taking Spencer’s chopsticks out of his hands to wrap a rubber band around it.
“Oh, the rubber band trick.” Derek smirked.
“Yeah, the rubber band trick.” JJ smiled.
Derek went back to the initial conversation.“Well, New York City cops do have a lot of pressure on them. Every move they make gets scrutinized.”
“One of the first cases of criminal profiling happened when a New York City cop asked a criminal psychiatrist friend to help with the Mad Bomber case.” Gideon stated.
“The Mad Bomber was a major inspiration for the Unabomber. He eluded cops in New York for 16 years, starting in 1940, but he kept his promise and never set off a single bomb during the Second World War.” Spencer said.
Gideon continued. “Psychiatrist James Brussels, he developed a profile so accurate, he predicted that when they caught the Bomber, he'd be wearing a double-breasted suit and it would be buttoned.”
Elle chuckled, looking around. “You guys, we're here in New York and even when we're not talking about our case, we end up talking about another profiler.” They all mumbled in agreement, while Aaron spoke up.
“You're right.” He turned to look at her. “So, Elle, are you seeing anyone?”
Derek laughed, almost choking on his food. Leila smirked, sipping on her glass of water before she caught Elle’s eye, winking at her. Elle’s face grew red and she looked away, her eyes set on the food on her plate. Derek continued to chuckle even as Elle changed the topic. “Uh, Gideon, why didn't you tell the cops that it might be one of their own?”
“If we're gonna catch the guy, we need all the help the cops can give us.” Gideon answered honestly. “Last thing I wanna do is accuse one of them of murder.” Suddenly, his phone began to ring, which he picked up a second later. “Gideon.”
“How's it going there?” JJ nodded her head towards Spencer, who still seemed to be struggling.
“Awesome.” Spencer said sarcastically. “It's absolutely incredible, 1.3 billion people stay nourished using these things.”
Leila clapped to tease him, grinning. “Yay, Spencer! You’re doing it!” Spencer rolled his eyes but smiled, anyway.
Gideon mumbled something back into the phone before ending the call, his face rid of all the joy that was there only thirty seconds ago. “He just took out a cop-killer.” He said, causing everyone to look up and their smiles to fade.
Leila’s mouth opened before she shut it back closed. She let out a deep breath, losing her appetite altogether. The team quickly finished what they could and paid the bill, leaving the restaurant, and headed back to the PD.
After lots of new information, they were able to locate the unsub who was currently inside the most recent victim’s apartment. Gideon had called them to ensure they were safe, but as soon as he heard a gunshot over the phone, the team quickly rushed to the apartment.
Leila geared up, wearing her bulletproof vest as she, Aaron, and Gideon were ready to enter the building. There were police cars and ambulances surrounding the complex, sirens blazing into the air.
The three held their guns up in front of them as they made it to the door, hearing the unsub screaming at the victim’s wife to shut up. Gideon was the first one to walk inside, with Leila and Aaron following. Leila slowly put a hand in front of the wife, backing her away from the unsub and her husband on the floor.
Gideon tried to calm the unsub down, speaking to him to try and get him to release the gun in his hands. Leila’s gun was still pointed at him. “You’re hearing voices, right?” She asked him, trying to get through to him.
“They always lie.” The unsub, Marvin, said. “If he dies, they'll go away.”
Aaron spoke with his fierce gaze set on him. “What do you think, they won't come back? Waverly, Iowa, 1999. A man kills two boys, only to walk away free and kill another one.”
“Stop.” Marvin mumbled.
Gideon continued. “Haskins, Georgia, last year. Three white guys. Three white guys kill a black teenager, just because. Four witnesses see it, the jury finds them not guilty, just because.”
“The first two boys were 14 years old.” Leila added, noticing that it was working. “The third was only 12.”
“Shut up!”
“It doesn't stop.” Leila kept going. “Diallo, Blake, Simpson, T. Cullen Davis.”
“You can't kill fast enough to keep up.” Gideon finished.
Marvin started to cry. “They killed my parents.”
“I know.” Gideon responded.
“I'm so tired.”
“Marvin, listen to me.” Gideon put his hands up, his gun already on the ground long before. “Why don't you just give me the gun, and I promise you, I will get you a place to rest.”
It was only a few seconds but Marvin put the victim onto the ground, beginning to rise up from the floor to give the gun to Gideon. However, at the last second, Aaron shot him.
Leila silently huffed out a breath, looking at Aaron who slowly lowered his gun. He didn’t look at her but called for the ambulance to come up. They heard the medics rushing inside and began to take away both the victim and the unsub, with the wife by the former’s side.
Leila, Aaron, and Gideon walked out of the building, watching as the ambulance took them away. She pursed her lips as she walked towards Elle, Derek, and Spencer. Aaron walked behind her, but he was extremely quiet.
She didn’t have any words to say. She felt her headache return and she silently winced, rubbing her temples. The loud noises of people conversing and the sirens blasting only made it worse.
She turned around to see Aaron’s gaze on the apartment. She tapped him on the shoulder, making him look at her. “I’m ready for that break.” She declared, crossing her arms. Aaron only nodded, but no words seemed to form.
Returning home, her headache seemed to increase. She grabbed her bag and shoved all of her files inside. Though she was taking a break, she knew that the paperwork would have to get done, somehow.
She exited her office and walked over to Aaron’s, who was sitting at his desk filling out more paperwork. She knocked on his door and he muttered a quiet, “come in.” She walked inside, waiting for him to look up.
“Take a week off.” He told her, knowing how difficult it was for her to balance between work and her personal life. “I don’t want to see you here until next Monday. No offense.”
She shrugged, laughing. “None taken. I don’t think I have the energy to see any of you for the time being, anyway.” She turned around to leave, but stopped. “I think you should take a break soon.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “I can’t.”
“Why? Just because you’re the Unit Chief?” Leila asked, shaking her head. “Bullshit, Aaron. You tell me that I’m overworking myself? Look at you.”
“I…” Aaron sighed. “It’s not that easy. There’s too much to be done and I feel selfish for taking a break when I know there’s no actual emergency.”
Leila raised an eyebrow. “So, what? Unit Chief’s don’t deserve breaks unless they have an emergency? That is the stupidest thing I’ve heard.” Aaron stayed quiet but his eyes were still on her. “You deserve to be at home with Haley and Jack. Just because you don’t have an emergency doesn’t mean you can’t take a break.”
When he still didn’t say anything, Leila sighed. Her eyes landed on the photo on his desk, a picture with him, Haley, and Jack.
“I’ll see you in a week, Aaron. Think about it.” She said, before leaving his office and closing the door behind her.
#aaron hotchner fluff#revelations series#angst#fluff#criminal minds#aaron hotchner#fanfiction#aaron hotchner fanfiction#criminal minds series#aaron hotchner x bau!reader#aaron hotchner x original female character
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ippiki au lore dump
if the name of the au does not make it very obvious, this au was inspired very heavily by the trained cards for kick it up a notch (i just chose to reference the comm, hitsuji ga ippiki, as the au name because it sounds cooler than calling it like. kickup au. so its ippiki au instead. when i first started working on this i just called it animal fighters au but thats long LOL)
its one of my favorite sets, im a big fan of dystopian and post-apocalyptic themes which the set hits perfectly and there was room to have fun with animal designs (i mean, seriously, they gave kohane sheep horns and named akitos costume "hound kid") and so i started thinking from the moment i laid eyes on the set when it leaked and i ended up with an au based around the idea of animal/human hybrids.
first of all for actual au stuff, character profiles! these were made a lot earlier on into working the au so ive made minor adjustments to their designs since then, but nothing drastic. mainly just little things ive changed when drawing them in more detail, like additional scars and such.
while making kohane a sheep and akito a dog (hes... not a specific kind of dog. hes a mix of a whole bunch of different larger domestic dog breeds combined with some wild canines. ) were obvious from the set, deciding on the animals for an and touya required a bit more thought. i ended up settling on a fox for an partially as a nod to her ny3 card and also because for a long time now ive thought theyre fitting for her anyway, and touya as a black leopard because... he's kitty. but i wanted to make him a big kitty not a domestic kitty. i do also like bunny touyas but for how i was feeling with this au i wanted him to be a cat.
theres the fun little detail that kohane is the only animal that isnt a predator in vbs.
but i should probably explain why theyre animal hybrids in this au.
im going to put the rest of the lore dump and more art below, this gets long.
basically, in the face of a coming apocalypse, there was an effort to attempt to hybridize humans with animals to see if they could create a form of human (or something seen as "human enough") that would be more resilient if the apocalypse threatened the survival of normal humanity. it was never completely successful and the hybrids were less stable/generally shorter lived (if physically stronger) but it ended up being unnecessary and enough of humanity survived to rebuild. but the experiments to create hybrids continued.
in the present day of the au, hybrids are created for... less pleasant tasks. the kinds of things people dont want to take on, and theyre physically stronger than the average human so theyre put to those jobs instead. or theyre created as showpieces/pets for the wealthy (most people outside of those circles find it strange to keep hybrids like that though. hybrids arent always seen as being truly human (although theyre fully capable of everything human and then some) but theyre still seen as human enough for it to be weird).
many of them though, are created as sacrifices for entertainment in battle arenas where theyll have to fight each other to the death. its a seemingly inevitable fate to die there once theyre sent, but escape has happened before. an is living proof of that, as both of her parents are escaped arena fighters who helped establish a small town of hybrids out in the wasteland beyond the city at the core of hybrid creation and sacrifice.
how an ended up as an arena fighter despite being born well outside the city... thats a long story.
touya is a showpiece fighter, created to fight but kept secure and safe outside of his registered fights. he might be healthier physically, much less worn down by fighting, but hes been very socially isolated and doesnt fit in with other hybrids very well.
an and touya fight in the same arena, and touyas fight days are the only times he interacts with other hybrids. hes given free reign around the hybrid compound (where most other hybrids are restricted under collars and chains) and he ends up meeting an there. although tense, they become sort of friends and he frees her and they escape together.
kohane and akito are just normal arena fighters, created solely for that purpose, although kohane was meant as an early sacrifice due to her skittish nature, but she survives. theyre in the same arena as each other, although its a harsher one than the one antouya are in, theyre unable to properly interact with anyone else at all and are just lucky enough to be neighbors to end up bonding.
i just grouped them based on which side of their face they have the barcodes on in the original cards lol in this au the arenas generally brand their fighters with a code for identifying them. touyas is actually not permanent like the others, but temporarily applied whenever he has a fight coming up (like a temporary tattoo lol)
kohane managing to survive despite the intention being that she dies is actually the driving force that starts the fic for this au (which fun fact, despite me never mentioning the title, does have a title! the fic will be called "fight, flight, freedom", unless i think of something that fits even better, but i already like the title as is so i probably wont change it)
its rough but i promise everyone gets a happy ending eventually :)
now for sitting through all that rambling heres some art
heres my very initial attempts at designs for them! no drastic changes even since this initial pass at designs tbh i was pretty content with them pretty quickly
some various doodles of them interacting, some during/around the time of the fic and others post-fic
what if they were... more animal? like furries instead of just the ears/tails? obviously noncanon but it was a fun little thing to draw
wip aged up designs! heavily inspired by the power of unity set because it also fits into the post apocalyptic type theme and i thought would work for them when theyre a little older. assume theyre about 20-21 here, while in the main canon of the au theyre about 16-17.
a silly little sketch i did last week of aged up akikoha in their burn my soul outfits... kohane cant really wear hats, horns are inconvenient for that. everyone elses ears would probably make hats difficult too, but you could probably make holes for their ears. you cant really make holes for the tops of her horns.
some little finished pieces i did for this au. can you tell akito is my favorite to draw for this?
now heres some other random au facts
an and haruka are childhood friends, haruka also being the child of ferals. haruka is a domestic cat hybrid (either a gray or black cat, i havent decided which yet). she is not in their hometown anymore either. where is she now...? ill leave you to wonder about that.
kohane and minori grew up in the same group of created hybrids together, theyre friends but were sent to different places so they dont know whats happened to each other since. minori is a goat btw (inspired by her halloween card)
a lot of ans scars are from injuries that snowballed after an incident in a fight that severely broke her tail and led to part of it being amputated. her balance was thrown off for a while after that so she was a little clumsier in fights than normal
akitos scars on the other hand are caused by the fact that hes a reckless fighter. a good fighter, but not much care for the damage he takes in the process. that and improper padding on his collars and muzzle, leaving those spots unable to fully heal from being rubbed against metal for months and when they finally do heal they scarred.
im still sorting things out for sure but tentatively for vbs npcs i have decided on fox ken and yuka (obviously, same as an), tiger taiga (i mean... how could i not go for the pun. and i think it suits him), maned wolf nagi (update march 2024 ive drawn nagi now so this is what has been made canon), raccoon kotaro, caracal arata, and dog souma (sorry to any tatsuya fans, i have not figured out how to include him in the au at all)
vbs all very clingy with each other once they get comfortable together. platonic polysquad ❤️
other characters outside of vbs exist in this au but theyre just not relevant enough to the story for me to include here 👍
the fic outline is like 2.4k words. the first chapter is a couple scenes away from being finished and its about 5k words. it will not be the longest chapter of the fic. this is going to be a long au.
maybe ill do another lore dump another day if i can think of more stuff. well see.
if you made it this far, thank you for reading, heres an edit i made the moment we got high quality versions of the cards and is probably partially responsible for the existence of this au
#w1f1 ramblings#w1f1 draws#ippiki au#project sekai#vivid bad squad#long post#sorry this is an absurdly long post#i may be a little hyperfixated on my own au. lol.#i just love my fucked up little creatures#my goal is to hopefully finish the fic by the time kickup reaches ensekai#but we shall see when i complete it id rather make it good than rush to get it out in time
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you’ve got a question, i’ve got an answer.
- * general questions:
what’s your name mean? how do you pronounce it?
my favorite song is caraphernelia by pierce the veil. ophernelia is just a play on the that. why the “o”? idk. sounded nice to me. it’s pronounced oh-fur-nail-yuh.
what games do you play?
ts4, breath of the wild, tears of the kingdom, animal crossing, cities skylines, gta v, stardew valley.
tell me about you.
i go by my middle name, brooklyn. opie, brooklyn, idc what you call me. she/her pronouns. i’m black, I’m from chicago. got my degrees in research psychology, but i would much rather be a director.
why do you have a patreon if your content is free?
not all of my content is free. 18+ versions episodes are behind a paywall due to patreon’s guidelines. all proceeds go straight back into funding the content. (paying for storage for files and episodes. my capcut and canva subscriptions. that’s it) the censored version is always posted on YouTube for free. admittedly, they take me a bit longer to make. so, patrons usually get early access because i can keep all the vulgarity and music in. only vulgar scenes, some vulgar language, and some songs are omitted, but you still get the full story. i just change the content around to make it appropriate for YouTube.
are you an aesthetic gamer?
no. i kinda just do whatever. my page is a dumpster dive. this is essentially a garbage bin. it’s messy, unorganized, but sometimes you might find some decent stuff in it.
what other simmers do you reccomend?
check out that list here!
-* build/cc questions. [i no longer post builds]
are you wcif friendly?
no. i delete cc constantly. it’s here today, gone tomorrow. there’s a good chance it may be in my cc finds tag, if you check.
an item is missing? what packs does this use? where’s the cc?
check the download post and read the description thoroughly. if you still can’t find something after reading and following the directions to a t, send me a message and i’ll double check it.
how do i install tray files and mods in ts4?
copy and paste that question into the google search bar. guarantee you’ll find what you’re looking for.
can i furnish and reupload a build?
depends on the build. check my terms of use. i am fine if shells get furnished and reuploaded. just be sure to tag me so i can see what you do! for my fully furnished builds and Lykaia specific builds, i would prefer if they weren’t.
how did you learn how to build?
start practicing with floor plans of real homes. you can find them online. start small with less intricate houses. adjust them to fit ts4. if there’s things like a utility closet, omit that from the build. focus on the main rooms: bedrooms, bathroom, living, kitchen. once you get a hang of that, then you can start creating your own floor plans.
can you make me a build?
commissions are currently closed. if or when they reopen, i’ll make a post about it. commissions cost, but the build will always be posted to the public for free.
what build cc do you use?
check my resources page.
can i have this specific sim/build?
unless i state it is up for download, then no. i still like to have my personal sims and builds. a lot of lykaia builds don’t actually even exist! they’re just sets i make. most of the areas i don’t film in are completely empty.
-* series questions.
how do you pronounce Lykaia?
i pronounce it luh-kai-uh. is that how you actually pronounce it? i have no idea lol.
what is Lykaia inspired by?
primarily teen wolf. it also draws inspiration from the greek mythology and euphoria. it is an original story though.
is your lou and rory the same as ea’s?
they have some similarities, but for the most part no. my versions have an original back story and different personalities. they also look a bit different. i used their likeness, but that’s about it. ea’s lou and rory are still roaming around in my game. they are entirely different people.
will you have any other series?
yes. i fully plan on doing more series. some reality tv series and some scripted tv shows. my newest series, jackpot, is currently in production.
how long will lykaia run?
i am unsure. i have plans for a third season. aside from that, it just depends on how i feel about it. i have a lot more of lou and imogen’s story to tell. they go through a lot especially as they get older.
can i ask about a specific episode?
absolutely! series related asks are my favorite! i love talking about it. feel free to ask anything!
UPDATED: 10/31
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with my birthday coming up i'm feeling reflective;
i'm about to end my 20s and enter my 30s, looking back a ton has happened in 10 years, every decade i set goals (okay maybe i did it at 10 and again at 20, obvs bbs can't do shit) my goals for my 20s were;
graduate ✔️
get married ✔️
have a baby ✔️
make senior accountant (originally this was for public accounting, but i did one busy season and decided i would rather keep my sanity) my current company does not have the title senior accountant, but my title is accountant and i'm top, doing quite a bit of cfo/comptroller style work so i'm counting this as a win ✔️
Run a half-marathon (I was up to 10ks, then got pregnant and was told to stop running and working out, after that i really didn't have the time or whatever to get back into running until this year which i was doing well until i started getting sick)✖️
Only one of these things are things that I could actually control (graduate lol) but i managed to bag the rest of them i still managed to get married even if it ended in the big D (and I don't mean Dallas)
For my 30s I want to focus more on things that I control.
Learn a new language-I'm thinking Japanese and French, I really want to be able to understand them, not necessarily speak or write, but that would be bonus, i'd also like to learn more, and refresh my spanish skills back to where they were when i turned 20 lol
Learn art or at least keep up with it- i've written about wanting to learn how to draw multiple times, but now i'm actually doing it, i enjoy being creative, i'm always working on a craft, but now i'm really putting the effort into art, i know it's something you have to keep up with so here's to daily practice even if it's a quick small doodle
keep writing- used to i wanted to write the epic novel that would be remembered for centuries, but as i've gotten older i realized i just wanted attention, now that i'm older and not living with my parents i've accepted the fact that i'm not interested in writing outside of fanfics and the occasional technical piece, i don't need to be remembered and any writing i do should be for fun (or for research purposes)
understand my health better- after i got a pulmonary embolism at 17 then another at 19 i sort of just got used to being on blood thinners, right before my 20th i changed my diet to oil-free vegan then just vegan, i was really feeling good and i think it was all of the fresh ingredients, so i'd like to go back to that, i'm cutting out wheat again, and dairy temporarily, but also this year i was diagnosed with adhd so understanding it is a goal, i remember in college when i was running and eating healthy all the time i was suffering less so i'd like to get back to that, and then as always getting my allergy issues under control, i think the main thing here is just finding out what works and what doesn't, and accepting giving up certain things that cause problems
run a half-marathon- i love running, i started again this year, i missed it a lot, now that i'm getting older i need to make sure to improve my physical health, the thing about training with running is it is also good to cross train, so add in weights, flexibility and so on, i was running best when i weight trained and did yoga, so going to hopefully pick those back up
Get back into sewing- in college i used to sew all a lot of my own clothes, i constantly got compliments on my stuff, i still sew now and then but it's mostly mending or random crafts, i'd like to get back into clothes, as well as tailoring (really redoing) thrifted clothes, which is where i buy something a size too big and practice my sewing skills by reworking the clothes into something cute, it reuses clothes and is a lot cheaper than buying fabric, i'd also like to work with silk, i don't buy silk clothes a lot, but i've found my skin reacts better to it but it's so expensive, a lot cheaper to just buy fabric
attend more festivals/activities- i really enjoy getting out into the community and doing things, seeing things, my exhusband was (and still is) a homebody, he also would complain when I went to things, always wanting me at home with him, so now that we're not together i'd like to start attending things in the community again
pick piano back up/learn a new instrument (violin??)- i used to play the piano and sing in the church choir in high school, unfortunately i can't sing anymore, at least not without having to yawn and take in more air I lost my ability to sing for long periods after my first pulmonary embolism, but now i'd really like to expand my brain by learning violin something i always wanted to learn but never had the ability to as a kid, but as an adult i can, picking piano back up and teaching my kid too
pay off debt/use credit sparingly- we had some financial troubles back a few years ago, and i racked my credit cards up, i've been slowly paying them, but i'd like to pay it all off and really only use in an emergency
be a good mom- self explanatory
My birthday is only 9 days after new year so i always feel like new years and a new age are pretty closely intertwined, so i guess here is to my 30s, i hope i make fewer shitty decisions lmao
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We'll just ignore what I said earlier as I want to fuel this flame, also I'm bored.
N Harmonia Fluff Alphabet
(written by yours truly)
A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
Well personally if I were do an activity with that said s/o it would definitely be along the lines of gardening, drawing and or puzzle solving!
Small things like doing a jigsaw puzzle or planting new life into the ground one flower at a time fills me with this warm and fluffy feeling, it's a feeling that tells me there are some good people in the world and not all of them are cruel.
B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
The one thing that attracts me more than anything is both animal lovers and people with confidence, more less the bold type. I just love how they're not afraid to speak out to themselves nor afraid of admitting defeat and open to learning anew, of course everyone is petty once in a while (Arceus knows I'm a good example) and I truly don't mind that.
So the thing I would admire and find beautiful in an s/o is their determination and boldness, if we're talking physical stuff it would definitely be the eyes.
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
Now this one is a tough question, I'm not good in the face with negative emotions but if I were to be in this situation I would definitely give them small praises and cradle them in my arms (with their consent of course not everyone wants to be touched while having a panic attack.)
My hugs are known to be quite soft and warm so it's most likely it will put them to sleep, it's either that or me rocking and humming them to sleep. I hate seeing others in pain.
D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
Children 100%, it's a small fantasy (not that kind of fantasy you sick perverts.) of mine to have a family of my own if I were to find the one. I find children adorably innocent and I'd love to raise them as my own, it fills me with joy to be looked up to!
I can picture it perfect, a big cottage with flowers and vines growing in an abundance, the children playing with the friends of the forest as I watch them in pure contentment.
I've thought about this one in my own time quite a lot and I truly hope it will come into fruition instead of staying a small day dream.
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
Equal. Nothing more needs to be said, moving on.
F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
I hate fighting to my very core so I'd try to avoid it but of course, fighting is inevitable. I'll admit I have a tendency to raise my voice but I promise you I'm not doing it on purpose! It's merely a cruel reflex of mine, it will take a while for me to trust you one again dependant on how severe the fight was, I have tendencies to hold grudges for a very very long time.
With that being said I will always take fault and apologize. I am not immune to mistakes, I am human, I will always be open to admitting defeat and learn a different pathway so we can avoid fights like those in the future.
G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
I've been told I'm quite oblivous at points so take this with a grain of salt. I would be incredibly grateful for what I have at that certain time (Arceus knows I don't deserve it), I will forever be grateful for it as long as I am still breathing.
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
I have the inability to lie, it leaves a bad taste on my tongue. Besides, I have no need to lie nor keep secrets. Relationships required trust and honesty as a foundation with without those two things present the relationship is sure to crumble down into ash.
Of course this does not mean I will share absolutely everything with them, like for instance my past and such but if asked I would be inclined to tell them with little hesitation, I trust them therefore they should trust me.
I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
Oh 100% they did, they would've have most likely allowed me to get more accustomed to things I never would I thought of before, for instance; meeting new people, emotions, personal vendettas, self hatred, you get the picture.
J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
Why would I be jealous? I trust them and they trust me, if not then it wouldn't work in the first place! Jealousy is not something I experience very often so therefore this question is irrelevant.
K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
Oh dear, I wouldn't know if I was a good kisser or not as I have let to lose my first kiss.
As for what it would be like? It would be a lot of confusion and I would look a kin to that of a Cheri Berry! I would be lying if I said I didn't also fantasize about losing my first kiss to the one someday.
If we're talking favourite places to kiss? The neck hands down, I think it's the perfect place to kiss! Romantic or sexual I love neck kisses to my very core.
L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
Oh they would have to confess to me first, I'm way to nervous to say something. I worry that if I do I'll be seen as a creep for it, it's one of my worse fears to be berated and made fun of by somebody I love.
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
Marriage is completely up to them but I'd prefer if we did, it just feels more personal and intimate y'know? Like these rings are tying us together with the red string of fate, binding us together forever.
I would gladly marry them! It will take a while before I'm comfortable with the idea of it but once I am I promise you, it'll be a blast.
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
Ahem. My love, dear, honey, sweetheart, my beautiful Dandelion, etc etc etc.
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
Oh to have such a blissful feeling as of being in love! I'd be very oblivious and yet so content and happy, I would admire them from afar while berating myself for thinking in such a way.
My actions will be a lot more intimate too! Swaying more to romantic than platonic, if they tell me to stop then I will. I would never go over somebody's boundaries! That's just disgusting and cruel.
P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
In public the PDA is minimal but still there in small things like handholding, I will still flush up red at these small things though. Also yes I am a very shy kisser, especially on the lips. It's just so intimate and overwhelming but in a good way? I can't describe it!
Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
I do not know? I suppose it would be my animal charm? Despite being in this world that lacks of Pokemon I still have my charm, I can attract strays and house pets miles away, they all seem to trust me as well too. Not even the most fearful and skittish of cats can resist my loving charm, so if you like animals that's one thing to look forward to!
R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
I'm cliche, not bother hiding it. I'm the type that would get you a collection of plushies, roses and even bake you sweets without expecting anything in return. It makes me swoon to see them so happy with my gifts, so I'd say I'm romantic to a fault.
S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
Support in every way! Work? Easy, allow me to lend a hand. Chores? I already did them! (I'm a clean freak sorry) anything you can think of I'd somehow assist you in, no you can not say no and yes I mean everything.
T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
I do not understand the infatuation with finding thrill in danger? Why not keep it mundane? I'm alright with doing things the same as we've always done it thank you.
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
Please, I'm one of the most understanding people out there. I would never judge them under any circumstances, doesn't matter if they're gay, trans or ace, to me they are just as human as everybody else and they deserve the right to love who they want!
Hell, I'm even genderqueer myself! To add to this I am indeed gay but you all can headcanon indifferent, I love seeing how you all mirror yourselves onto my character and seek comfort in it, just know that I'm watching and I fully support you no matter what. Everybody deserves to be who they truly are <3
V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
I have no point in lying, my love for Pokemon will forever trump any romantic relationships with a human I have. There's nothing else to add to it, moving on.
W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
Hm, something fluffy about me. I suppose when I get really happy my laugh is really contagious and loud that I can't help but cover my mouth! I have these sharp canine teeth too so that adds to my laugh and smile. I can't help but not hug them tightly as I laugh at whatever funny thing they show me.
Also my eyes glow a nice blue and sparkle when happy as well, they also glow blue under other circumstances but that's besides the point. I also have tendencies to pick up that said future s/o and tuck them into bed and kiss them goodnight if I find them sleeping in an odd place or if I see them overworking themselves.
X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
Once comfortable I am very affectionate, and I mean very. I love kisses despite how shy I get, you'll never go a day without cuddles or even a bone crushing hug. Anything affectionate you can think of I'd most likely do in their favour, I'm just a very loving creature overall.
Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
I'll admit I'm clingy to a fault so if miss them very terribly and once I see them again they will be greeted with a bone crushing hug and some stray tears.
I'd try to cope with it using or doing stuff that reminds me of them, like taking care of a Pokemon who acts similar to you.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
Now this really depends on the circumstances, of course I'm not going to leave them to die but I do draw the line. The thought of obsessing over a relationship makes me shiver in fear, it's not something I want.
-Mod N <3
#n harmonia#natural harmonia gropius#n pokemon#pokemon n#pokemon#n harmonia x reader#n x reader#trainer n x reader#unova#DID#Fictive
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Fandom thoughts: Keep the System healthy!
Imagine: someone gives you a present. They have spent a lot of time and energy picking it out, acquiring it or crafting it themselves and finally wrapping it up nicely, driving all the way to your house to hand it over and you look at it and say: "When do I get the next one?"
Would you do that?
Every single creator here in fandom gifts you things they made with their time and energy to the best of their abilities which most of the time are autodidactic and possibilities; some have done this longer, others are just starting out, some have more time, energy and headspace, others do not. And then things tend to change for people all the time.
Labour can be compensated in a number of ways. In fandom, people very often just want to have a good time. They want to have fun, or let out some grief, they want to connect with like-minded people about things they love. This does not mean, that the work isn't still work! Writing heart-wrenching stories (in a presentable way) is emotional and creative and physical work! (talk to my wrists and shoulders about this) Hobby or not!
Throwing out several k of words a week, or drawing all kinds of pictures takes time and effort even if you do not read back, edit or clean shit up. Even uploading, thinking about the right tags, the right layout: This is all stuff that takes time and energy. Some people on this website do things for you for free that would amount to a 30h+ workweek and I am not exaggerating this.
We're used to having fresh content every other week, to race through story after story after story, but we fandom people aren't Netflix (and they treat their creatives not that great)
When you nitpick something about a fic, there isn't a whole team of people who can take the blow, who still get paid for their time. It's one person. Alone at their laptop eating shit for giving you something for free.
So, if you are mad about authors having their little circle of people, prioritizing the stories of their friends over those of people they do not know and you can't understand why; It's not rocket science. The payoff is just way better.
Fandom is supposed to be a system driven by the love for media by transformative energy. Those who do not create are a vital part of that system! If you are someone who consumes, maybe think about what your abilities and possibilities are to give back to those who give so many well spent hours to you.
Leave a comment, reblog your heart out, make rec lists. Instead of dropping a "Part 2?" seconds after you read a fic tell us what you liked and why you liked it. If you don't have time or spoons to do it right away, that's cool, come back later. Do you have less time to read another 3k-5k fic that day? Maybe. But does this raise the chance that your favourite authors will still be here in five months or a year and not burn themselves out because they keep sprinting from part 1 to part 2 to part 3.... Hell yes.
Also: Gossip isn't cute, hateful anons are abuse and openly shredding someones fic over your subjective opinion does not make other people want to interact with you more.
Just be kind, considerate and mindful. It's free too.
(I am not talking about healthy, calm and nuanced discourse about important issues such as inclusivity and accessibility and related.)
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extended bio below the cut as well as tags
FIRST OFF: I don't mind if you read my platonic art as romantic or romantic art as platonic.👍Enjoy and interpret my art however.
I read and appreciate all tags and additions <3
Ello. You can call me Angelo, or if you wanna use nicknames, Angie works. It/its, both fem and masc words, but no man/woman [ boy/girl is okay ]. absolutely no enby or they/them, you will be blocked. friends and mutuals can use he/she for me too, but if we're strangers, please don't. weird genderqueer thang, kinda multigender kinda genderfluid. star based words are okie too. If you're not sure about anything just ask.
My usual handle is "vamqiric" if it's available. However, I decided to use the url for my blog about running and updating my merch shop, @vamqiric. I still watermark my art here with that handle since it's easier for me.
I kinda post whatever art I want here. I like MCYT but I have a side blog for it, anything else is freegame for posting here. Mostly OCs or Nintendo shit.
Currently really into LoZ, especially the Four Swords manga and TP. I like Links Meet AUs. I will likely also post linkcest stuff at some point or another, frequency more or less depends on how much I draw [ especially vidow, if you consider that linkcest ] but it will be tagged accordingly.
Maybe sometimes suggestive stuff. Again, will be tagged.
Like what you like, I like what I like.
I have lots of struggles with interacting with fandom, so forgive me if I come across as aloof; I have lots of bad experiences. I'm trying here, okie? Still, don't hesitate to reach out if you want to talk about something! I promise I'm a good vampire that does not bite. I mean. Unless you want me too. Haha. Who said that.
My all time favourite game is Kid Icarus Uprising, my biggest bragging point is that I own a Dark Pit figma, all 3 kid icarus amiibos, and 2/3 of every kid icarus game [ uprising + of myths and monsters... trying to find the og! ]
oh also I stream sometimes ig idk. my twitch is vamqiricyt I have a vtuber model it's pretty cool.
I'm down for commissions and art trades, as well as situational requests [ like if it's for something I already actively draw ] so feel free to ask.
my personalised nightcore playlist
Tags for AUs and shit;
#four hoes au - small town farmers AU inspired by stardew valley. NAMED AFTER THE FARMING TOOL.....
#force gem of four au - magical girl au
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Alright who wants to see my old Bionicle humanizations? These were from my modern/college!AU Metru Uni which I made when I was in college. These were all posted on dA circa 2011-12ish, and you have to understand these were drawn by hand, scanned into a computer, and edited using a laptop trackpad and MS Paint. Get ready for a lot of Shoujo Legs and Weird Character Choices. (All images will have their descriptions in the alt text.)
So first of all you have to understand that Vakama was my babygirl for many many years. This guy has the worst social anxiety you've ever seen. Not sure why I decided to take away his glasses when he transformed considering that's one of my least favourite things but whatever.
THIS MAN HAS NO ASS. I mean none of them do but Matau especially, goddamn. Anyway he wanted to dye his hair green so bad but his mom wouldn't let him. This guy is a huge flirt and we stan. Also I think the second image is flipped for some reason.
Okay yeah the second image is definitely flipped why did I do that. I was genuinely trying to make Nokama look cute and fashionable here but also I didn't know how to draw skirts very well so. Yeah. Vakama and Matau were both instantly smitten with her when she showed up and honestly the endgame ship there was Vakama/Nokama but for real it should've been the three of them. God she was so fucking patient
Now I gotta say I have absolutely no clue why the hell I gave Onewa a punk aesthetic (it's not even that punk, really, just what I would've considered punk as a very sheltered teen in 2011) but it kinda fucks actually. He was such a bitch but also he was so right about basically everything. King <3
WHENUA MY BELOVED. He was the oldest out of all of them and straight up had a university degree already but had for some reason decided to go to college after to get qualifications for a job that definitely would have paid less than the job he was originally going for with the university degree but I was dumb as hell and also he had to be at college that was the point of the fic. He and Vakama were roommates (oh my god they were roommates)
Okay so the hairstyle. Um. I was obsessed with Wizard AnimalParade at the time. Also when he lifted the eyepatch on his transformed self he could zoom his vision in and out like a telescope. Also also he was obsessed with astronomy and thought astrology was stupid which. Is very funny writing KNPS now because that version of Nuju has exactly the same opinion
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Hey Rags how come the characters with brown and black as their theme colours are the only brown and black skinned characters" because I was fucking stupid that's why. Moving on.
One of the running gags I had in the manga version of this fic (YES there was a manga version, it only got about halfway through the second chapter) was that Lhikan always had bishounen sparkles every time he appeared. I wanted him to be a pretty boy so bad. I stand by this choice honestly Lhikan should be the prettiest boy. He should be more pretty than he is. VAKAMA SHOULD'VE HAD A BI LITTLE CRUSH ON HIM.
Honestly the only reason his eyes are white here is I forgot to colour them lmao. Dume worked in the college's security office and he was such an uptight old bitch. Look at his stupid little tie clip. This was also before I learned how to, like, make people look older, and so he just looks like a young man with a moustache lol. What learning to draw from Chris Hart books does to a mf
And to round off this part, please have one of the first pieces of digital art I ever did: a cover for the series! Back in the day fanfiction.net let you set a specific cover for a series so I drew this for that. I'm honestly really glad I found this again, I thought that it was lost to time and the only version I had access to was the extremely crunched version still up on ff.net. I drew this all by hand and did all the colouring and shading and stuff using Paint.net, which was a free program. The textures for the dirt and earth were made using MS Paint still though lol.
OKAY there are still about one million billion left to go but I'm calling it here for now so it doesn't get too long. I'll make another post with villains or something later.
Except also here have this no-context picture of Matau that was my deviantart profile picture for a long time.
#bionicle#human bionicle#look. LOOK.#at least half of this story is what became the blueprints for knps okay. i have changed very little.#it was formative for me though. how many big weird au fics have i done since then. metru uni was the first. the progenitor.#without metru uni we don't get west city public library or kini nui public school. so there you are.#but like for real though NO ONE HAS AN ASS. WHERE IS THE BOOTY. 19 YEAR OLD ME WAS A COWARD.
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May Reading Wrap Up :)
Okay, listen… It's my first month of summer vacation and I have absolutely nothing to do, so don't judge me here, but this month I read 13 books. I know, I know… I promise I've been exercising and getting out and stuff, it just happened. Having a lot of free time means a lot of reading time for me, especially since I discovered the power of audiobooks. So let's take a look at what I read and what I thought of each book!
The Shadow of Kiyoshi, by F.C. Yee
4 stars
341 pages
Contains: sapphic girlies; elemental magic (duh!!) and a sympathetic bad guy :(
I read this so early in the month, and when I was still at college, packing, so it feels like ages ago. I mostly listened to The Shadow of Kiyoshi, and, like I've mentioned before on here, listening to fiction has been a challenge. I'm not very used to it, yet, and I need to continue to acclimate to it. This book was the unfortunate victim of my poor ears – I work with audio, what am I talking about – and understanding what was going on was difficult for me. But I benefited from this being the second book in the Kiyoshi Novels series, which are companion novels to the show Avatar: The Last Airbender – and if you haven't watched that, and you're a fantasy fan, do so right now.
This one is complicated to talk about because of its relationship to the ATLA canon. However, I can say that the characters are incredibly compelling, just like they were in the first book of the series. The main romantic relationship, between Rangi and Avatar Kiyoshi, just draws you in, and their dynamic is the best! I loved it especially when Mr. Yee pulls some humor out of it.
In general, I think this lives up to the series, and does it justice. It keeps the good humor and nature of the show, without losing its attention to darker themes. Here, I think it was best represented by our "bad guy" (and I can't tell you who they are!), who I felt so much sympathy for, and who had a complicated relationship with our lead.
Highly recommend this series, especially for fans of ATLA – though I'm pretty sure you could theoretically read this without watching the show!
The Dawn of Yangchen, by F.C. Yee
4 stars
336 pages
Contains: politics (but softcore, esp. if you're a fan of those cerebral thriller types of books); a mc plagued by her past lives; romantic tension
I also listened to this, but on the plane home lmao I'm terrified of planes, so I wasn't paying that much attention as I was trying not to throw up every time it wiggled a little bit! But I enjoyed The Dawn of Yangchen. It was a calming read lmao
This one is surprisingly political, which I wasn't expecting. This is also a part of the ATLA universe, and is following a different Avatar from Kiyoshi, and it's the first in a series. So, I was expecting this one to be more or less the same as The Rise of Kiyoshi and its successor.
But I was surprised. Mr. Yee really focuses, here, on the politics of some specific towns, previously unknown in this universe, at least to my knowledge, which was such an interesting expansion. It also went into some other Avatars' lives, Yangchen's previous lives. That was super cool for me to read, because I'm literally so into ATLA, you guys have no idea.
I saw some GoodReads reviews complain that this feels more like an introduction to a bigger plot than anything else, but I honestly didn't feel like that. I think it was a pretty satisfactory story, even though the resolution didn't hit as strong for me. But I agree that it sets up the second book quite pointedly. It only made me more excited to read this next one, though! Can't wait for Mr. Yee to put it out into the world!
Black Sun, by Rebecca Roanhorse
454 pages
3 stars
Contains: sea-related magic; a chosen one, but he's the villain? Or is he? What's going on?; discussions of religion
I've been waiting to pick up Black Sun for ages! This is the first book in the Between Earth and Sky series, which currently has two books released. We follow Serapio, a blinded devotee of an ancient crow god, who is trying to get to the holy city of Tova in time for the winter solstice – but why? On the ship carrying him is Xiala, a Teek with water magic who is curious about her mysterious passenger. In Tova itself, Naranpa serves as the Sun Priestess, a piece in the complex political-religious chess of the city.
Unfortunately, Black Sun didn't do everything I wanted it to do for me. The characters lacked something, and I wasn't drawn to them as I thought they were missing a layer of realism. I found their actions – and, consequently, the plot – very predictable. The romance, in particular, suffered from this, as I thought it wasn't well-developed and I had a tough time rooting for the will-they-won't-they to actually happen.
But the world-building blew me away! This is inspired by Pre-Invasion American cultures, and the real historical details blend seamlessly with the magic, creating a world that feels alive. The city of Tova itself is made up of multiple centers on mountains that can only be reached by bridges that travers the chasm between them. That is such a cool idea, and reminds me of the ancient cultures in my neighboring Andes! I've always wondered what it would be like to live so, so high up.
Black Sun also has one of the most fantastic first chapters I've read in fantasy. It drew me in immediately. I highly recommend just reading it by itself, even if you don't feel like reading the whole book. What a stunning beginning! The ending is also a banger – it just lost me in the middle.
I don't know yet if I'll continue with this series, but we'll see, come next month!
Into The Riverlands, by Nghi Vo
100 pages
5 stars
Contains: a non-binary cleric; a talking bird; an old woman who bosses everyone around
For this one, I wrote a standalone review! Suffice it to say, as with any of the books in this series by Ms. Vo, I loved it! The Singing Hills Cycle follows cleric Chih as they travel around their China-inspired kingdom, recording its history and stories with the help of their talking bird, who has an eidetic memory, Almost Brilliant.
The audiobook for this one is 2 hours long and it felt like watching a movie. Honestly, I'm so happy I've turned to audiobooks more, this month. This one in particular filled me with such joy – it's so nice to see a story come to life, like that, especially when it's an installment in a series all about the power of stories themselves!
I highly, highly recommend this series! Check out my short SFF books list if you'd like more info on it, or the standalone review I mentioned previously!
The Traitor Baru Cormorant & The Monster Baru Cormorant, by Seth Dickinson
399 and 464 pages
Both 5 stars
Contains: crazy gay people; politics like you wouldn't believe; lyrical writing
And now, for the most defining books of my month, I give you, The Masquerade Series, by Mr. Dickinson, starting with The Traitor Baru Cormorant and moving on to The Monster Baru Cormorant. At the time of writing, I'm currently reading the third and last book in the series, The Tyrant Baru Cormorant, at least until Mr. Dickinson graces us with the next installment.
This series follows – you guessed it – Baru Cormorant, a young girl from the island nation of Taranoke, who watches her country be colonized by the hugely powerful Masquerade Empire. After one of her fathers is killed for being queer, Baru decides to join a Masquerade school and destroy the Empire from the inside out. Soon, she is being sent to unruleable Aurdwynn, where she is to be the Imperial Accountant. And things get very, very complicated from there.
The Masquerade is not the easiest series to consume. Between the political intrigue, the complexities and interests of each character and the purple prose, it can sometimes be hard to follow. But, oh my God, if it isn't worth it! The pay-off is unbelievable, especially in the first book. I predicted what was going to happen, because it was well set-up, but it didn't matter – it crushed me into a million pieces anyway.
This is absolutely perfect for fans of The Locked Tomb and The Texicalaan Series. It's gay, it's confusing and it's political as fuck, diving deep into themes of colonization and empire. And it starts getting pretty crazy after the second book! I highly, highly recommend!
The Tea Master And The Detective, by Aliette de Bodard
93 pages
4 stars
Contains: a Sherlock Holmes retelling; sentient spaceships; tea!
Another one I listened to! This was actually my first Aliette de Bodard that I didn't DNF, which is quite a feat for someone who's into SFF novellas, as Ms. Bodard has quite a few under her belt. I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed this! The Tea Master and The Detective is part of the Universe of Xuya, a collection of works that imagines a future of sentient spaceships ("mindships") and a timeline in which Asia became dominant. The result is a brilliant silkpunk future full of interesting tidbits to unpack!
Here, we take a look at an investigation, as we follow consulting detective Long Chau on a case. She soon recruits the mindship The Shadow's Child into her world, and their story goes from there. It's a charming story, with interesting characters and solid dialogue. Not to mention, of course, the main event: the worldbuilding, which sucks you in and leaves you wanting more!
The Citadel of Weeping Pearls, by Aliette de Bodard
164 pages
4 stars
Contains: family drama; court intrigue; complicated mother-daughter relationships
So, naturally, I went after more in the Universe of Xuya, and ended up reading The Citadel of Weeping Pearls. This one revolves around the mysterious – let's say it together – Citadel of Weeping Pearls, a habitat of multiple ships founded in rebellion by a rogue princess, but that vanished, thirty years ago, with all on board. This novella follows several people who are connected to the Citadel in various ways as their lives collide on the search for it.
I actually liked this one better than I did The Tea Master and the Detective. The characters are very compelling, as this focuses very much on the relationships between these people, especially their connections to this rebellious princess. The premise is awesome, as well, and it reaches a satisfying conclusion by the end, which is impressive for a novella, I think. So many of them end up half-baked. I highly recommend this one, and the audiobook is quite nice, as it has different narrators for each POV!
The Salt Grows Heavy, by Cassandra Khaw
106 pages
5 stars
Contains: vibes. Just the creepiest vibes.; science-horror? Body-horror?; a mermaid!!
This is another novella! I've written about it before, in my gay mermaids post, but it doesn't hurt to reinforce my points.
I don't even know how to explain this one – it has a plot, and it's great, but the important part of this novella is definitely its pure, creepy-as-fuck vibes. It’s a twist on The Little Mermaid that follows a siren and a plague doctor, the only survivors of a destroyed kingdom, as they go on the run, and the creepy things they find along the way.
The prose, here, is very much purple, but, honestly, it creates this incredible atmosphere that draws you in and does not let you go. I was originally going to only read a couple of pages to see what this was about, but I was absolutely blown away by The Salt Grows Heavy and couldn't put it down! If you're a fan of vibes-only books (such as Erin Morgestein's Starless Sea and The Night Circus), this is definitely for you!
Clementine, by Tillie Walden
259 pages
3 stars
Contains: an apocalyptic setting; disability rep!!; a real nice Amish guy with a horse
My next read was Clementine, Volume 1 by Tillie Walden, a graphic-novelist whom I adore! You probably know her from her (rightfully so) popular book On A Sunbeam. This one takes place in the world of The Walking Dead (but I read it very well without knowing anything about this universe), and follows young Clementine and the people she meets on the road.
Ms. Walden manages to build very nice characters here. They're all very compelling and I appreciated spending time with them. But their arcs and the plot itself felt rushed. I feel like the graphic novel could've used a couple more pages to really flesh those things out. In direct contrast, I thought the world building was well-done and Ms. Walden managed to communicate a lot about this universe in just a couple of panels. In conclusion, this isn't the best Tillie Walden – that would be The End of Summer – but I'd recommend it, especially if you're needing some post-apocalyptic flavor in your life after finishing The Last of Us.
Senlin Ascends, by Josiah Bancroft
3 stars
448 pages
Contains: a shy nerd; a tower full of crazy things; steampunk! Let’s go steampunk!
I feel like I've talked everyone's ear off about this one – I was too disappointed not to. Senlin Ascends follows the introverted Thomas Senlin as he takes his new wife Marya to see the Tower of Babel, a big-ass tower that he considers to be humanity's big feat. Not long after arriving though, Thomas and Marya lose each other in the crowd, and the book follows Thomas' attempts to reunite himself with her.
What disappointed me very much about this was the decisions Mr. Bancroft made on the subject of the romance – Marya was Thomas' student when she was a child, and their first kiss and beginning of their "courtship" took place when Thomas dropped her off at college. I thought that was wildly unnecessary and inappropriate, and wrote about it (at length) here.
Apart from that, Senlin Ascends is a fun read, with memorable, quirky characters and interesting world building. But it's hard to ignore a romance like that, especially considering that it's what the entire story hinges on.
Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism, by Amanda Montell
309 pages
5 stars
And, for the first time in ages, I read something not-SFF! That's right – I listened to this non-fiction read on the bus and at home while I made origami (I'm obsessed with making origami) and ended up finishing it quite fast! Here, Ms. Montell explores different facets of human life that can be "cultish", with a particular focus on language.
I thought this read was super interesting, especially because I love learning about languages! The section on glossolalia (speaking in tongues, more popularly) was particularly interesting! I did find it a bit repetitive at its points, sometimes, and I wish it could have trusted the reader to remember the main argument, instead of reiterating it.
The Mimicking of Known Successes, by Malka Older
169 pages
5 stars
Contains: a second-chance sapphic romance; a mystery; humans living on Jupiter
Another sci-fi mystery, but this one was a bit cozier – and a new release, it just came out in March! I had a lot of fun with The Mimicking of Known Successes. It follows Pleiti, a scholar at Valdegeld University, and Mossa, her detective ex-girlfriend who needs help with a case she's on. Pleiti and Mossa are sucked into this mystery and work together to solve it, but this story's main take-away definitely relates to the relationship between the two, as it begins to evolve during their time together.
I listened to the audiobook for this and had such a delightful time. The language is very vivid and definitely brings the environment to life, which only made it cozier, for me. It can be quite funny at times, and I found myself laughing aloud to the quips. I also very much enjoyed the main relationship. It definitely reminded me of my days in the trenches in the BBC Sherlock fandom, as the characters have a similar dynamic, so I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this for fans of the show. The mystery itself wasn't a stunner or my main focus at all, but it surprised me in the end, when it ended up leading to some pretty cool reflections about humanity's relationship to Earth.
That's all I read in the month of May! I'm excited for next month and also to keep posting on here whenever inspiration strikes and I have something to recommend :) Please don't hesistate to drop me an ask if you'd like a recommendation, in case you've noticed our tastes align!
#booksbooksbooks#book review#reading wrap up#currently reading#book recommendations#book recs#booklr#fantasy books#queer sff#sci fi books#sff books#atla#the shadow of kiyoshi#avatar kyoshi#avatar yangchen#the dawn of yangchen#black sun#between earth and sky#ttbc#baru cormorant#singing hills cycle#into the riverlands#universe of xuya#the salt grows heavy#books of babel#senlin ascends#clementine#twd#cultish#amanda montell
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Also like. Where did multishipping go. It was good why did it go anywhere. "This pairing is better than [popular pairing] you should ship it instead" why not both! What if they are both good! Plus if someone likes one of the characters in your favorite ship they might very well get interested in it and start making content for it too... as long as you haven't made them feel bad by calling the thing they like bad and positioning your favorite ship as opposed to it. I know that you know this I'm just yelling
I honestly do think the whole shift towards 'ship this not that' and the decline of multishipping really does boil down to entitlement!!! (the exclamation marks are cause im angry about it). That's pretty much my read on it. Like, I think possibly the thing that makes me angriest about modern fandom is the way that people sort of just... expect the art/fic they want to exist? It's different, imo, when you have artists or writers complaining like 'what do you mean i actually have to WRITE/DRAW the thing if I want it to exist???' - like, that's tongue-in-cheek. They (we) KNOW we can't expect anyone else to do it.
And I think there was originally like, people would go 'someone write a fic where...' and it was basically a joke, and kind of a way of indicating 'free plot bunny here for anyone who wants it.' But over time I think the use of phrases/posts like that has become less and less ironic, and more sincere, and even where it is ironic I'd argue that that phrasing still kind of contributes to an environment where fic writers are increasingly seen as Content Machines as opposed to real people behind a computer screen. Just, something about the imperative tone of it.
And as far as that applies to people just... talking about the stuff they like, I think that's the part that almost confuses me the most. Because I know we all go scrolling through tumblr searching for stuff to entertain us, but at the end of the day a lot of what entertains us is just other people talking about/discussing the things that THEY like. Just... the general idea of demanding 'stop talking about the thing you like and start talking about the thing I like so that I can be entertained' is insane to me. People are just doing what they like to do. If what they like to do is actively hurting other people then sure, absolutely, speak up about it. But if you just don't like it... idk, I'm sure you, nonny, would not but like general you - would you stand up in the middle of a coffee shop and yell "I can hear FAR TOO MANY conversations about people's jobs going on right now! I want to be hearing about people's favourite foods instead, because that's what I'm interested in!"
No, you wouldn't, because that would be rude beyond fuck.
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Quick! Tell me about your OCs! (I just really like hearing about people’s OCs)
!!! WAAUAUAUSDUHUS OKAY!!!
and to everyone who doesn't care about my ocs, u can ignore this ask bc i'm gonna be like this for the remainder of this post
u have been warned.
my ocs that i mostly post about here belong to a future comic i intend to write, draw and post online called "chimera kingdom"! this is the tag on my blog -> #chimera kingdom <- it's comprised of art of my ocs as well as some miscellaneous stuff
it's a story that means a lot to me and one i definitely want to write in its entirety .. someday .. bc some of my oldest ocs are here!!! kimberly is my oldest oc i still use!!! she is a decade old!!! buzzer and ry are also almost as old, they were made like. idk. a week after kimberly ??? and fun fact but atticus is technically the oldest oc of the bunch but he's not technically my oc since i'm borrowing him from my friend. but i was given permission to write him my own way for this comic so YIPPEE!!!!!
it's a humble project with a lot of sentimental value, so i post about it occasionally even though this is mainly a fan art blog, i haven't illustrated it all, and don't know when it'll be done. not sure if i necessarily have "big dreams" for this thing, but it'd be cool to see it all come together ....... someday
BUT ANYWAY! some general lore and worldbuilding of "chimera kingdom" bc that's important!!!
the short synopsis: "in the near future, a government-funded lab/secret service/school conglomerate called the Chimera Kingdom experiments on humans. chimeras are the newest step in human(?) evolution, individuals with the added survival skills of a specific animal. they primarily exist to kill off monsters— dangerous, soulless creatures set to destroy humanity if not combated."
so basically chimeras are the merging of a human body and the strength, survival skills, and instincts of one animal. they still maintain their human body throughout unless their animal limbs serve as part of their survival (like bird chimeras with wings, big cat chimeras with claws, etc.). chimeras have to manually tap into their chimera states, meaning that under normal circumstances they're just regular humans. when a chimera's chimera state is active, a symbol on their inner wrist will appear and glow. that's what these are!
chimeras are like. fantasy science basically. they're definitely scientific creations in-universe but leave some breathing space for fantasy too, so u don't concern urself with the specifics. the further this story goes, the more reality will be suspended as well
so how does this relate to the characters ?!?!
i won't go tooooo in depth with the individual characters since that would make this ask way too fucking long and i doubt anyone would want to read that. so i'll just link this post and this post which have the basic run-downs for the 10 student characters. these posts are a bit outdated now but i haven't had the time or the luxury to remake them so ..... they'll do for now =v= i also don't have everyone's bios written, so there's more characters than just these 10. if anyone i draw catches ur interest feel free to ask me! i WILL scream about them
anyway all 10 of them are chimeras attending Chimera School, a part of the Kingdom. the 10 of them make up the elite class, aka the "best" class due to everyone's potential to be very strong and useful chimeras. this class ignores grades since it's more focused on chimera missions and other stuff directly benefiting the Kingdom, less on actual academics (though they still learn the basics, dw). so they're of different ages but still on the same level playing field
the protag is kimberly, she's a rabbit chimera and her goal at the Kingdom is to become the strongest chimera!!! she's been in her twin brother ry's shadow since she can remember, so she has a bit of beef with him though it's not inherently malicious. he's good at everything so she wants to be better than him in just one thing. like .. u know when siblings are a little fucked up? yea :D
she acts as the audience surrogate for a bit before more perspectives are introduced. everyone has their own goals and motivations, and develop as the story moves forward. i intend for "chimera kingdom" to delve into war, love, grief, vulnerability, reclamation of power, and what it means to be human. and what it means to be an individual being when u can't even feel like u're worthy of being anyone. ya feel ?!?!?!?!
every character deals with one or multiple of these themes! in some kind! so lmk if there's a specific character u're interested in !!! i will word vomit for HOURS. i just don't want to crowd this already-crowded ask when there's a good amount of characters in my comic. and again i implore u to check out the links above for some quick info :)
SORRY THIS IS SO FUCKING LONGGGGG
#someday i'll be normal about my ocs but until they have a solid source material i legally can't.#I HOPE ... THIS WAS A FUN/ENGAGING READ ?!?!?!?! IDK MAN#i'm always down to answer and talk about stuff about chimera kingdom heh heh#asks for becki#chimera kingdom
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Hamlet Liveblog 2011, ACT TWO
I found a notebook from college when I went through the text of Hamlet line by line, and now I'm sharing the best parts! Act One
Act II, Scene 1
People who deserve backstory:
- Reynaldo
- Polonius
current Will: I have always been exactly this way, omg
2.1.64 "by indirections find directions out" - theme of the whole freaking play! Polonius is maybe not as much of a fool as he seems. Similar to Hamlet pretending to be mad
2.1.88-89 "he fell to such perusal of my face / As a would draw it" - he wants to remember her as she is before he loses it - and he knows he will
Why stage it like this? Perhaps it is more effective to see his madness through the eyes of someone else
2.1.100 "This is the very ecstasy of love, whose violent property fordoes itself" - now he believes that Hamlet loves Ophelia and that it's killing him to be repelled like this (Perhaps it is)
Act II, Scene 2
2.2.6-7 "Sith nor the exterior nor the inward man / resembles that it was." - what people see and what Hamlet contemplates
2.2.28-29 "Put your dread pleasures more into command / than to entreaty" - Rosencrantz doesn't understand why the majesties are not following the status quo - are they on friendly terms? He doesn't know
2.2.70 "Never more to give the assay of arms against your majesty"
Does this mean Claudius has no more foreign relations to deal with? Now Shakespeare can move onto what he really cares about: the domestic/internal stage.
current Will: This was partially correct! I was drawing a connection to Othello and Macbeth, where the foreign armies are defeated offstage very early on and never really come up again, and it's true that Fortinbras becomes less of the focus for a while, but he's still a threat on the edges of the play.
2.2.93-94 "Mad call I it, for to define true madness, What is't but to be nothing else but mad?" - You'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what madness is, or you'll avoid the question and never know if you're insane or not. In short, this place is a madhouse.
2.2.139 "He is a prince, out of thy star" - again with the celestial spheres and orbits!
2.2.160 "I'll loose my daughter to him" - she's a tool or plot device
2.2.174 "for if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog" - what does this have to do with honesty? When there's no integrity, lies grow easily; or a cute girl in the public gaze gets pregnant and diseased
2.2.201-203
Polonius: Will you walk out of the air, my lord?
Hamlet: Into my grave?
Polonius: Indeed, that's out of the air.
Hamlet is considering his own mortality, but Polonius turns his comment into a joke
2.2.209-210 "You cannot take from me anything that I will more willingly part withal; except my life, except my life, except my life"
Hamlet is tired of Polonius and his mindless words, and he's also still thinking of death, so he wants to die and finds it fitting that Polonius would be the one to kill him
2.2.215 Guil: My honored lord (formal)
Ros: My most dear lord (impulsive and trusting)
2.2.234-5 "Denmark's a prison" - Hamlet's bound by fillial duty to seek reveng, and he needs to watch as his uncle slips into his father's throne and sheets
"Then is the world one" - Rosencrantz is trapped by trying to figure out where he is and why, so he has no free will, no reference point, besides Guil, who's just as confused but more upset
2.2.242-43 "I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams"
Okay, there's a lot of stuff here - hints of claustrophobia; wants to be king somewhere; is it the infinity of space that gives him the dreams, or would he already have them?
universes within universes, relative sizes, and the suffocating distance between electrons
nutshells associated with fairies and Queen Mab, which is appropriate since she blows men's dreams way out of proportion
(and then I tried very earnestly to analyze the whole "a dream itself is but a shadow" dialogue, but mostly through the lens of coming up with headcanons for Ros and Guil, which is not a very good critical lens actually, and twelve years later it makes approximately zero sense, so I'll spare us all)
2.2.256 "In the beaten way of friendship" - it's like a beaten path, so longstanding, but also maybe just there out of habit and no real affection; or beaten like broken down and in disrepair because he doesn't trust them and has bigger things on his mind
2.2.262-63 "Come, deal justly with me" - genuinely hurt that they don't tell him the truth, also perhaps an order to obey
"come, come, nay, speak" - in some versions he actually says 'knave', which belies his claims of friendship earlier
"What should we say, my lord?" - Guil is hurt by this; maybe Ros was gesturing and trying to communicate something, or he was trying to figure something out. Anyway, Guil was jolted into the present and remembered about delving
2.2.271 - "by the obligation of our ever preserved love" - Hamlet uses their prior relationship (may be present still) to pressure them into telling him everything. He might not really value them anymore and is jealous of the love they bear each other, (and wonders why he can't have the same with Horatio)
Question: Would R&GaD have gone any differently if they knew about the ghost?
2.2.282-290
He knows that man and earth and sky are beautiful "majestical" creatures, but can't feel it and sees it all as "this quintessence of dust"; "What a piece of work is man!" Is he admiring mankind (in theory) or is he judging R + G for being sneaky? Or mocking them because they have no "apprehension" at all? (well, fear, but no understanding)
2.2.439 "like a neutral to his will and matter did nothing" - unable to think or act, like Hamlet hesitates to just kill Claudius
oh, interesting, I thought that the Hecuba speech was foreshadowing for Ophelia losing her mind after Polonius is killed, and not Hamlet being preoccupied with Gertrude's reaction to her husband's death! I think this has to be because I was unfamiliar with the Pyrrhus and Priam story
The Player can stir up passion in himself for a fictional character, but Hamlet can't do anything with his real motive. All people are characters for him, so he can sympathize with any of them.
2.2.550-51 "If a do blench, I know my course" - somewhat overreactionary (sic), but better than not doing anything; of course Hamlet can make himself see anything (see Othello's "ocular proof")
#hamlet#polonius#ophelia#claudius#rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead#act ii scene 2 is Very Long#i left out a LOT of stuff that's either basic or uninteresting but there's still just So Much
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