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nadia-zahra · 2 years

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Deeper Dive on Mike and his Gay Feelings

To give context to Mike’s s3 behavior first:

Like I said in my first deep dive on Mike, at the snowball he realizes he feels romantically towards Will and begins his “I don’t like like Will, I’m normal 😃” phase. Normal for him means being heteronormative. Mike thinks acting like a smartass, only spending time making out with your girlfriend, and not wanting to play d&d is what normal teenagers do. This is because of the influence both Ted and Steve had on him in s1. Y’all forget that Steve did literally everything I just listed when he was with Nancy and Ted makes subtle, but homophobic comments ab Will and Mike throughout the show. It makes sense that Mike thinks acting like a douchebag is what’s normal people do because that’s literally all he’s ever learned.

MAJOR MF EDIT OMG: I'm so angry with myself. After this has been up for a few weeks now AND I have reread this post at least three dozen times to make sure my message came across exactly how I wanted it to, I've just realized I didn't clarify Mike didn't know he wasn't romantically into El. Mike doesn't realize he's not romantically in love with El until 3x6. Before, he was confusing his platonic feelings for romantic ones. pls future readers know that whenever I discuss his feelings ab El before the cabin scene he isn't aware that his feelings for her are not romantic. He's not completely using El as a way to repress his gay feelings for Will, he genuinely thinks he like likes her because of his desire to be heteronormal/like girls. This post disproves the bi mike theory and mileven--just casually killing two birds with one stone lol (except bi mike is a national treasure)

Alright, *cracks neck and knuckles* let’s get into s3.

3x1 right off the bat lets us know mileven isn’t healthy. The first scene of these two is them making out, El puts her hands on him, he takes them off, he starts being goofy and sings the song that’s playing, and El doesn’t like it so she shuts him up by kissing him. Ok so Mike doesn’t like getting touched by El romantically…cool cool. This also gives us our first hint at how Mike and El are not compatible— he likes being silly and singing along to songs and she doesn’t. Just one of the ways we’re shown they don’t have similar interests.

After Hop busts them making out, Mike leaves and mileven has a brief lil convo over walkies. This talk shows us they are not equally emotionally invested in their relationship. El lovingly says “I miss you”, he replies “yeah. Me too”. He has annoyance in his voice--like he just wants to get off the walkie. El doesn’t pick up on it, but it’s clear as day from our pov. What’s really odd, though, is Mike not telling El about going to the movies with lumax and Will. Does this mean he’s never mentioned all the other times too?? Why doesn’t he tell her if it’s just the four of them hanging out?? Well...if he’s not telling El now its safe to assume he hasn’t before. Mike never telling her ab the hangouts implies he feels guilty for having more fun at the movies with Will than making out with her. He doesn’t want El to know he dislikes spending all their time together kissing, so he just lets her assume he’s sadly going home. El is clearly more emotionally invested with this relationship and genuinely has lovey feelings for Mike, but he only feels platonically towards El, even after they start dating.

Mike arrives at the mall where he meets lumax and Will to go to the movies. Lucas says three things that are important: 1) Mike’s late again 2) makes fun of mileven for only making out 3) calls these hangouts romantic time with Max. First gonna dissect the last thing I listed because Lucas basically calling it a double date lets us know the tone of these hangouts. They’re romantic in nature, it’s not just four friends hanging out. If lumax thinks it’s a double date...and Will wants it to be a double date...then Mike also senses it’s a double date. Another reason why he doesn’t tell El about them. Second, Lucas (and later Robin) mentions this isn’t the first one. The four of them have done this MULTIPLE TIMES. Mike hasn’t been on a romantic date with El btw, he’s literally only ever shown on one with Will. Like if the writers wanted us to believe mileven is emotionally connected and romantic, then they would’ve made a different opening milkvan scene. Lastly, Lucas makes fun of him for only making out with El. This is really important because it tells us that the characters in stranger things notice this relationship isn’t healthy!!!

*milkvans speaking* But El is his first gf ofc they’re going to make out all the time! no. incorrect. wrong answer. lumax and duzie (idk is that what they’re callied lol) are great examples of how that ain’t true. Max is Lucas’s first gf and even he gets that it’s weird to want to ONLY make out. Suzie is also Dustin’s first girlfriend and they bond over The Never-Ending Story, not swapping spit.

When Mike replies with “Yeah it’s so funny I want to spend romantic time with my girlfriend” it got me thinking…does Mike think this is how dating is supposed to be?? And yeah, he does!!! He doesn’t understand how to build a deeper romantic relationship with El because he doesn't know his feelings for her are platonic. Mike’s just doing what he thinks he’s supposed to do. It proves to himself and others that he’s normal by forcing himself and El to make out (yes I said he’s forcing el I’ll discuss that later). Hopper is the second person to talk ab how mileven only making out is weird. It doesn’t help that Mike acts like an ass towards him, but he acts like that towards Hop because it’s a part of his new douchebag facade. Just gonna throw byler moments here: Mike gets defensive when Will agrees with Lucas, byler hardcore blushing at the movies, Mike staring at Will for roughly 24s while Will is having his war flashbacks, and both of them looking at each other’s lips multiple times in less than 6s.

3x2 Mike lies to El ab his nana and their very fragile relationship begins to untwine. Now I have to say this, Mike 100% wasn’t forced to lie and make up an excuse on why they couldn’t hang out. Hopper threatened to not let him see El again, but he covered the lie up by telling her Mike’s nana was fine. We never did get to hear what hop told mike, but Hopper doing this means he would’ve been ok with Mike coming over the next day as long as he didn’t act like a smartass and kept the door open three inches. Mike chose to add to the nana lie. Even after El asks him straight up if he’s lying he says no. Why would he continue to lie to her when he clearly had a way out?? To put it frankly: Mike didn’t want to spend his afternoon making out with El when he doesn’t even enjoy doing it. Ik…crazy…but Mike knows he’s shit at lying, so he heads to the mall with Lucas and Will to buy her an apology gift.

The whole present/mall situation is the biggest clue to how Mike and El just aren’t compatible from s3. He knows he needs to apologize, but he doesn’t know what she would like because he doesn’t know literally anything ab her interests. The only present he could find for her was too expensive (and Will coded), so he just ended up not buying anything for her. Dude what?! She would’ve been happy with literally anything. Ffs she says in this episode “how do I know if I like something”. The elmax scenes just further prove milkvan doesn’t work because it is quite literally “El being really happy because there’s more to life than stupid boys”.

I’m trying not to add the subtext byler clues to this but I just think this one’s funny: Lucas sprays a purple (mileven color) perfume on Mike, and he makes a super disgusted face lol

El breaks up with mike when her and max see the guys at the mall. I love this for her honestly because this was her first step into being independent and finally living the way she wants to live!!! Back to Mike and his gay feelings— from this point moving forward, Mike thinks they’re broken up. Ik you might think this is a weird thing to say cause like…no dipshit sherlock…but trust me you have to keep this in mind.

THE MOTHERF**KING RAIN SCENE

I was going to do a whole other post on the rain scene because it’s so much, but I figured I should just keep it in here because this is a deep dive on ALL of s3 mike and his gay feelings. You have been warned 😶‍🌫️

This scene and what we’ve seen leading up from Mike’s pov is A LOT different than Will’s.

At the snowball Mike realized he like likes Will due to his jealous insecurity that someday Will’s going to replace him. His new personality is the result of this realization. And Mike’s personality change leads to him pushing Will away emotionally. Him making excuses on why they can’t play (Lucas is down to, Mike is the one that’s making all the excuses) and openly making fun of Will during the game (Lucas actually never makes fun of Will, he just laughs at mikes joke) are all a part of the facade.

Here’s the thing: Mike doesn’t know a) Will’s gay and doesn’t want to be normal b) Will like likes him back. He genuinely believes that their special friendship, the extremely deep and emotional bond they share, is all in his head— all just a childish, one-sided crush. Mike literally couldn’t tell Will was upset all summer because of his own insecurities in their friendship blinding him, not because he was so invested in menthol cigarettes.

Will snapping (rightfully so) and leaving the basement finally gets Mike to pay attention to the other’s feelings. He thinks Will’s just upset over him not wanting to play d&d, but getting called out for being flakey and not caring ab the party makes Mike realize he’s noticed everything. You can see in Mike’s face he’s gonna defend his shitty behavior (he always plays defense in fights). But when Will throws in the “you’re destroying everything and for what? So you can swap spit with some stupid girl?!” Mike loses it.

Now the miscommunication comes in clutch. Both of them interpret the bolded sentence in different ways. Mike’s version: You’re destroying everything because you like making out with a girl who’s literally dumb. Will’s version: Your destroying everything because you like girls.

And Mikes response, “El’s not stupid! It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”, was also interpreted two different ways. Mike’s: El is smart, and it’s not my fault you haven’t grown up yet. Will’s: El is smart, and it’s not my fault you’re gay.

Yeahhhh the duffers were lying their asses off back when they said it’s not supposed to be interpreted as calling Will out. Everyone INCLUDING WILL heard it that way. It was written deliberately as “you don’t like girls” for a reason. Why else would Will get so upset when he’s canonically gay? We can all safely assume they lied because they didn’t want Will’s sexuality to be known yet.

OMG I JUST HAD A REALIZATION OF MY OWN. Idk where to put it so here it is: Mike’s whole thought processing with his crush on Will being childish is because he thinks Will is straight and still in the prepubescent mindset of “no romantic feelings exist I’m pure of mind girls have cooties 😇”. And at the snowball he sees a glimpse of Will being out of the child mindset, hence Mike begins wanting to grow-up. Anyways…

Mike can tell from the expression on Will’s face he’s gone too far. Now he’s not defensive because he can now see that he was unintentionally hurting Will all summer, and that his remark was below the belt (he doesn’t actually get the real reason why Will is upset, he just thinks he does because of miscommunication).

Mike’s rationalization for his shitty behavior is what he realized he’s afraid of back at the snowball. That Will is going to get a gf someday, and the two of them aren’t going to play d&d in his basement forever. He truly believes emotionally pulling away is saving him from a hell-reality where Will loves someone else more than him. Since he thinks all his questions are just facts, he thinks Will also believes this. Up until Will responds with “Yeah, I guess I did. I really did”. That completely shatters Mike’s false reality. Now knows literally every single word he’s said just made things ten times worse. All he’s thinking now is “if I don’t apologize for everything I just said, I’m actually going to lose Will”.

I’m ignoring Mike + Lucas going to the byers house and apologizing.

Wait! Before you scrutinize me for acting like this cute scene doesn’t exist, let me explain!

The fight scene takes place in the day and the boys going to the byers happens at night. Why? Idk. If you just watch it once you don’t think ab the time difference, but when you do, you unconsciously write it off as Mike waiting for the rain to stop…except it never did. The show doesn’t explain the time jump and instead acts like it didn’t happen. I’ve really tried to think of a plausible answer to Mike + Lucas waiting and this is the only one I could find: when rewatching the show for my notes on this analysis, I noticed time is nonexistent s3. Almost every scene in s3 has a clock, but time in scenes and the order of sequence don’t match up. The time inconsistency within s3 is a whole other can of worms I am not smart enough to tackle, and I’m not going to act like I understand why the duffers chose to make the destruction of caste byers + this byler scene at night. Also ignoring it because if you take it out nothing changes in their dynamic from mike’s pov. He still wants to properly apologize, but he doesn’t because a) mind flayer is back and b) last byler scene happens but we’ll get to that later.

Other things from 3x3: El can’t tell if Mike’s a good kisser. This means she doesn’t really enjoy making out with him (she def thinks his kissing is a 3/10), but doesn’t want to admit it because she thinks Mike enjoys it. Like I get her not knowing what types of clothes she wants to wear, but her body is telling her she’s not that into it. Also means that Mike is the one in control of their relationship if she’s just kissing him because she thinks that’s what he wants. The sexist convo between Lucas and Mike highlights Mike’s internalized homophobia and inner turmoil ab not being normal. He claims, “women act on emotion, no logic”, but it’s just him projecting-- he obviously doesn’t believe this. Mike saying this means he’s bullied himself for having a very emotional friendship with Will (being girly/emotional=gay=not normal). And Mike is definitely lying ab not knowing why El is mad at him, and him acting clueless is just a part of the persona. Ffs the whole reason she caught him is because they couldn’t find an apology gift for lying to her.

This is something I haven’t touched yet (I probably should’ve by now whoops): Mike is not against El gaining independence, he’s against El not needing him in her life anymore. He sees himself as kind of her yoda; he was the first one to gain her trust and to teach her ab life outside the lab. He thinks she needs him as a friendly mentor figure, not as a loving boyfriend. He doesn’t understand that he can’t tell her how life is supposed to be like anymore because that was their dynamic before dating. S3 she’s not fresh out the lab or new to this world; she knows enough ab life now and wants to figure out her own opinions/interests with a supportive boyfriend.

Anyways back to Mike’s internalized homophobia...

3x4 is the beginning of Mike looking at Will in a different light than he has been all summer. Will admitting he thought it was gonna be them together forever made Mike feel less insecure ab believing this too. He still thinks their friendship is on the rocks, but at least he knows now Will wanted to play d&d together forever before the fight. This episode introduces Mike’s “new” body language of subtly (not subtly) sitting/ standing weirdly close to him and way more secret glances. Sadly, he’s still trying to cling to milkvan instead of facing his insecurities.

Mike and El meet for the first time post-breakup. If you take his playful joking at face value, it’s weird and insensitive towards her. But really he just forgot for a sec that they were on bad terms. Why? idk maybe because byler got into their biggest fight ever the day before, he’s scared and stressed ab the mind flayer being back, and the party is literally grabbing stuff to capture Billy (the scariest person in the show besides Vecna). Personally, I don’t blame him for joking with El ab the dummy to kinda lighten the mood.

Mike thinks he’s gonna reel El back into a relationship by doing the exact thing that made her break up with him: by lying his ass off. Says Hopper told him to lie (no he didn’t Hopper cleared it up), she’s the most important person to him in the world (again a lie seeing as he never even apologized for the nana lie), and that Hop’s just some crazy, old man who thinks they spend too much time together (only true thing he says but weirdly enough it sounds like the weakest point). In the past El has just gone with everything Mike’s told her, so he’s shocked when she agrees with Hop on them spending too much time together. Interesting how out of all the things he says, El outwardly agrees with only the true one.....

Mike doesn’t still get that their relationship wasn’t healthy; that they can’t actually be a good couple if all they do is make out every day and don’t get to know each other. El basically saying “we’re done. I don’t want to get back together because I spied on you, heard some awful shit, and want to make my own opinions” destroys his idea of their dynamic. Before this, Mike felt in control of it (cause he was), but now she doesn’t just go along with everything he says. Now he knows El truly meant it when she dumped his ass. And ofc instead of admitting to himself she came to this conclusion on her own before the spying situation, he chooses this delusional ass mindset: he’s been spied on by elmax, meaning El trusts Max more than Mike, meaning Max somehow brainwashed El into dumping him and are now conspiring against him.

I feel like I shouldn’t have to add this, but I will just so that Ik me and whoever is reading this are on the same page: Mike cares for El--platonically, like a sister. Ofc he didn’t think twice ab grabbing the metal pipe and whacking Billy with it. It wasn’t a romantic gesture it was literally him saving El from murder.

3x5 begins the “conspiring against me” ordeal. To be blunt, Mike gaslit himself into believing Max and El are conspiring against him and is unsuccessfully trying to gaslight everyone else too. For Mike, admitting to anyone (including himself) that their relationship wasn’t working confirms his insecurity ab not being normal. He’s fully choosing to believe two of his best friends are plotting against him rather than face the reality of mileven being over because it wasn’t good for either of them.

THE HOSPITAL SCENES

Mike thinks mileven is done. El has clearly said multiple times now she’s done and he’s accepted it. If Lucas didn’t tell him it was an olive branch then Mike wouldn’t have even thought twice ab the vending machine exchange. And even after Lucas explains it’s a sign El wants him back without explicitly saying “she wants you back”, Mike still thinks it’s an olive branch to get back on good terms and to go back as besties!! Mike offering her m&m’s wasn’t a way to show her he’s still boyfriend material, it was to show he’s still best friend material!! And because Mike is oblivious, he doesn’t notice El blushing and smiling like a freaking idiot!! Rewatch the scene, he literally blinks in her direction twice he ain’t noticing shit!!

3x6 is the climax of Mike’s s3 arc. He’s still desperately trying to convince everyone he’s being conspired against by elmax, but now Max is done with his bullshit and calls him out for being controlling. He knows they aren’t getting together, but he wants everyone to believe the breakup’s not his fault (he’s normal he liked dating El) it’s because of Max. He doesn’t see his behavior as controlling because he views himself as El’s life guru who makes decisions for her; it’s why he thinks the evil, conspiring Max is framing him to be sexist. He’s already getting defensive (he’s so shit at explaining himself omg) but Nancy joining in just makes it worse. He knows what Nancy and Max are telling him is true-- that El isn’t stupid and knows her limits. But Mike literally just got back into her good graces, they’re friends again and he doesn’t want El to kill herself looking for a monster they aren’t prepared for.

His whole speech is literally what I’ve just explained except he did a worse job at explaining himself lmfaoooo.

Every single person heard him loud and clear say he loves El, and every single one of them thinks Mike is in love with her now. Mike looks stunned that he even said that out loud and he knows no one interpreted it as a platonic Ily. This is the moment Mike is done wanting to date El and is done ACTING NORMAL!!!! Hearing himself say that made him realize he can’t continue dating her and that he doesn’t even want to; Mike doesn’t want to be in a relationship where he's not in love!!! He’s accepted that he doesn’t want to date El (and probably all girls)!!! HE’S OKAY WITH BEING NOT NORMAL!!!!

When he sees El walk out of the bathroom, he looks scared. He didn’t want El to hear him say it. Mike can act as straight as he wants but saying I Love You is too far. He knows it’s really really hurtful to lie to her about this and that if she heard the accidental ily he wouldn’t be able to back out of it. That’s why he acts like nothing happened afterward.

3x7 reaffirms Mike doesn’t want to date El anymore with the grocery store scene. When he says, “I’ve been meaning to tell you something”, he’s not going to say “I love you”. We all know that because he didn’t say it back at the cabin, can’t even say “Love Makes You Crazy” and ffs s4 happens. What he’s been meaning to tell her is an apology for his shitty behavior towards elmax, that he’s okay with them not dating, and that he’s happy for El’s new friendship.

Mike says he was jealous of El and Max hanging out all the time. Now I don’t think he realizes this, but he wasn’t jealous of them spending time together—he was jealous that El wasn’t listening to Mike anymore and was using Max as her life yoda now. You may think I’m putting words into his mouth, but if you rewatch the first episode you’ll remember he was in a hurry to leave El’s and half-heartedly said he missed her... not very clingy of him is it. And elmax was essentially Max telling her she doesn’t have to listen to anyone and to explore herself, something Mike never did for El.

Mike saying “I just, like, I’ve never felt like this, you know, with anyone before” isn’t about romantic love it’s about platonic love! He hasn’t gone through losing any of his friends like he has with El. He’s never had to mentor or guide any of his friends except El. Will is someone he romantically loves, and Mike’s unique love for him is very different from his unique love for her. His love for her is special and only something he’s ever felt for specifically her. And Mike understands his feelings for her, hence bringing up love makes you crazy. And once again, Mike wants to slap himself for speaking without thinking. There’s not a doubt in my mind he 150% didn’t think about who he was talking ab love with when he said that. He doesn’t want her to get the wrong idea, like worst case scenario for Mike is El thinking he is in love with her and wants to get back together. That’s why he goes out of his way to NOT say the L word.

I just wanna say thank you to every person that read this entire post I’ve spent days working on this and it means a lot <33333

3x8 THE BIG KAHUNA MOVING DAYYYYYY

By this point in the show, Mike has grown a hell of a lot. He’s done wanting to be in a relationship with El, he’s done acting like a douchebag, and he’s finally comfortable admitting to himself he’s not normal. Byler has been on the back burner since 3x3, but Mike has felt distant from Will and insecure in their friendship since the fight. He never really got a chance to apologize with everything going on, and now that Will’s leaving for Lenora it seems like their friendship is never going to be the same...

until...

“Yeah, but, what if you wanna join another party?”

This is the moment. THE MF MOMENT Mike knows he’s in love with Will!! His confident “not possible” confirms to Mike that even after all the shit they’d been through-- Mike being left behind at the snowball, pushing Will away all summer, the rain fight, and not speaking to each other after the mind flayer’s return--they are still their own separate team. It basically takes away the insecurities he had about their relationship. This simple “not possible” tells him Will still wants to play d&d together forever, and that the fight they had was just a fight... one they could come back from. It lets Mike know he’s never been crazy or stupid for thinking their bond was different, and it lets Mike think he has a chance with Will.

Mike sees El struggling for the teddy bear and decides to help. He’s still definitely thinking about Will, you can tell because of his body language. He’s super smiley, he’s fidgeting out all his excess happy adrenaline (I bet he wanted to take a victory lap after talking with Will), and even though he’s talking to El he can’t help but bring up Will in the conversation. He is so happy and care-free that he starts talking about how excited he is to open presents with Will and El on Christmas Day; this brings Mike back down to earth because he gets embarrassed for sounding like a kid and thinks he just weirded El out with his awkward ass.

He thinks El is leaving the room as he silently cringes at himself, but then she turns around and starts talking about the cabin scene. Mike knows where this is going, so he immediately starts acting clueless and like he didn’t say ily super loud. He asks “What did I say exactly” because he wants to make sure she didn’t hear ily...because that’s what he assumed when it originally happened (rewatch the cabin scene it was meant to look that way). He’s super fucking confused on why El’s walking fast towards him and suddenly in his face and--

“I love you too” *aggressively starts kissing him*

He’s in shock BIG TIME. What you all are witnessing is Mike’s worst-case scenario come true and his reaction to what was possibly the worst thing that could happen in that moment. He’s not going to kiss back, he’s still processing what the hell just happened. He’s looking at El, just standing there with her suctioned on his face, with eyes wide and a face silently screaming “What the HELL just happened?!”

After the kiss and El leaves is when it sets in.

Mike is screwed. He doesn’t have a good excuse to break up with her. He can’t say he doesn’t love her because El just said she heard him say it back at the cabin. And he couldn’t possibly explain he’s in love with Will, there’s just no way (even though she doesn’t know anything about society’s problem with queer folk)! So, he promises himself this, he’s not going to lead her on. He’s not going to say ily and he’s just going to treat her like a friend until she breaks up with him again.

The time finally comes for the Byers to leave and Mike’s really fucking sad. His bff of 5 years old/crush is going away--possibly forever. He can’t play with Will in his basement like they used to, he can’t see or talk to Will everyday like he has his whole life. Mike was just reassured by Will that their relationship will never change, after having lost him this whole season, but now it hits him he doesn’t know that for sure. He’s losing Will and El again, but this time he can’t save them.

Then we get literally the most heartbreaking montage of Hopper’s letter fitting into each character’s emotions, and ofc he says “I don’t want things to change” as Mike leaves the Byer’s empty home and “maybe that’s why I came here, to stop the change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were.” as he cries in his mom’s arms.

Mike begins his “I’m in love with Will, but I have to act like I’m not because El loves me and he doesn’t 😃” phase that plays throughout s4. But it takes a turn when he starts noticing some sus behavior from Will and realizes maybe Will does like like him. but that’s for another byler analysis.

#byler #byler proof #byler theory #everything points to byler #byler nation #byler brainrot #byler for the win #byler is real #will byers #mike wheeler #mike wheeler is gay #mike wheeler is queer #mike wheeler i know what you are #mike x will #will x mike #stranger things #st3 rewatch

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