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#spoiled for me. which worked out in the end bc he wasn't planning on telling us until we were about to leave and my autistic ass does not
spiderweb-bf · 1 year
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so i went to a NHL game and i had a really good time!! however i did cry when we first got inside because there was loud live music and also issues with our tickets so i immediately got overwhelmed ✌️ but once we were away from the noise and found our seats i was chillin
then we scored our first goal and the sudden loud noise of the speakers and the crowd was a lot for me. and the people behind us spilled their drinks and ice on us and i was just sitting in my seat plugging my ears fucking sobbing. and the guy that spilled his drink on me put his hand on my shoulder trying to apologize but then that just triggered my ptsd so i started shaking and crying harder. he gave me the t shirt he got from the dudes that throw shirts at the crowd, so that was really really nice
and anyways after that i was fine because i could anticipate the goals and also they never spilled on us again. so i only cried twice and honestly? sometimes you just gotta cry it out
like whatever wires i have crossed (autism + whatever else) that makes me react to noise like this has been with me my whole life. and the ptsd has been with me for a few years. and sometimes the best possible case scenario involves dealing with all that and crying about it and like. I'm just gonna have to accept that. I'm autistic and mentally ill and sometimes that's going to interfere with my life but if I'm around the right people and have access to the things I need to calm down I'll be okay. so maybe a neurotypical person would be like "yeah I cried twice I had an awful time" but for me the standards are different so I can confidently say I cried twice and had a blast.
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the--highlanders · 1 year
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I'm gonna go ahead and assume that your wip tag game post (from *checks notes* November 27th? god help me) isn't necessarily current any more, but take this ask as an invitation to talk about/post a little snip of anything that still is a wip if you happen to feel like it!
gfkjlds I wasn't expecting things to have changed that much bc I have a terrible habit of going 'omg I want to write that' [dumping a few notes in a draft] 'wait I want to write something else'. I'm not a wip abandoner in the sense of never finishing anything, bc I'm still putting out the same amount of fic, & once I've actually started writing I tend not to abandon stuff, but I do leave a trail of ignored ideas in my wake ajhfklsdg.
but!! I have actually posted three things from that list since I posted it (tell me you love me, come back and haunt me (which became litany for a reunion), the one about jamie patching ben up, and the one which was a first sentence of zoe being woken up) & am working on a fourth for next fortnight (the post-phantom piper one). so!! call that progress ig
you know what I'm going to talk about the one I had down as [two in 6b on a mission in 1745 where he bumps into jamie;. apparently I am so so so addicted to rotating post-war games fics. they're spilling out of my pockets. & honestly we might have talked about this one??
the idea was two being sent on some sort of mission in 6b that takes him to the highlands, and quite coincidentally bumping into jamie. and jamie recognises him, and figures out that something must be up, but he's not had enough of his memories bleed through to trust two, so he starts following him around more out of suspicion than anything. two's trying to complete his mission and get out of there as soon as possible because he REALLY doesn't want the pain and guilt of hanging around with jamie when he doesn't remember him at all. but obviously they end up having to work together, neither of them can really help it :'))
the way I've planned it out doesn't. exactly have a happy ending, to say the least. and I don't really want to spoil it here bc if I ever do write it, I think it'd be a gut punch. so just know that it may or may not be coming :^)
ALSO speaking of post-war games fics I do want to share this little plotting snippet from a different document (the one for the sequel to old ghost's waltz), bc I am so insane about it but haven't actually plucked up the courage to start writing this fic yet. so hey, here's a glimpse of the way I plan my fics ig!!
[mairead] sits down and says she might feel better if she knew more about what had happened; she asks kirsty to tell her about the doctor, and then asks if jamie is in love with him, with the air of already knowing the answer is yes; kirsty is hesitant to throw jamie under the bus by saying yes outright, so she asks 'how did ye know?'; mairead says that soon after jamie came back from the war, she had given him her wedding ring, saying he would have more use for it than her, and that jamie had seemed very emotional about it and had said he would give it to the person he loved; she looks kirsty dead in the eye and says 'and I've never seen you wear it'; kirsty just nods, and then says mairead seems very calm about it; mairead scoffs and says it wasn't entirely unexpected; she pauses, then lets out a shaky laugh and says 'the fact that he's a faery man was a surprise, though'
like god I NEED to write mairead and kirsty having a very emotionally charged and stilted conversation about jamie having left them behind. I've been chewing over this one for ages now
actually this made me realise that I only have one more section left to plot out for this fic and then I'll be out of excuses for not writing it aghfsdld.
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osaemu · 8 months
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LONG STORY SHORT, I SURVIVED: GOJO SATORU
✩ ‧ ˚. synopsis: you're always so busy with school, and satoru misses his girlfriend (student!au)
contents: fem!reader. gets suggestive towards the end. poor gojo's been getting neglected by reader bc you've been busy with school :(
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after a long, brutal test and an even more painful score, you just wanted to be alone. unfortunately, your boyfriend had other plans.
as soon as you walked in the door to your shared dorm, you were prepared for satoru to bug you. he did that every day—at the sound of the door opening, he'd scurry over like a puppy and pepper you with kisses and i missed you's, as if he wasn't equally busy.
today was no different. you let satoru hug and kiss you as soon as you stepped in the living room, returning his affections as best you could. 
honestly, nobody really thought of satoru as the ideal boyfriend. sure, he was incredibly affectionate and spoiled you rotten, but he wasn't exactly known for his emotional intelligence.
which is why it surprised you when he took one look at your face and tugged you to the couch, refusing to unwrap his long arms from around you until you told him why you upset.
"satoru, i'm fine," you say dryly, offering a smile that was meant to be reassuring. unfortunately, satoru, as insensitive and oblivious he is, is also a natural people person. he can tell how someone feels with a simple glance to their face—blame it on those ocean-blue eyes of his.
"no you're not," satoru says stubbornly. this back and forth on whether you were fine or not had gone on for nearly five minutes, and as comfortable as satoru's lap was, you kept insisting that you had work to do.
"you're always so busy these days," satoru whines, burying his face in your neck. "i don't even get to sleep with you anymore!" 
his muffled voice is indignant, and you sigh, knowing that he's right. that being said, it's not like you could just not study — unlike satoru, you had to actually work for your grades.
"i miss you," satoru murmurs, pressing his cheek to your neck and exhaling softly. his lips, lightly coated with what you think is your chapstick, brush against your neck for what's the first time in... a while.
"you wanna tell me what happened?" your boyfriend whispers, floppy white hair falling into his eyes as he finally lets you go. satoru nudges you off his lap and turns to face you, knees brushing against your own.
he doesn't say it, but he gives you the option to leave. he no longer has you trapped in his arms—you're free to go, if that's what you want.
and it breaks your heart.
the hope in his eyes is practically glowing. satoru wants you, but he doesn't want to hold you back from whatever you're so desperate for. who is he to stop you from studying? it's good that you actually care about your grades—it's one of the many things he admires about you.
something in your chest tightens as you watch him wait for your response. you could either brush him off and give him another i'll tell you later—it feels like that's the only thing you say to him these days.
or you could stay, spare a couple minutes for your patient, sweet, and only too accomadting boyfriend. 
you stay.
————
an hour later, you're fast asleep in his arms. even in your sleep, you're the most comfortable you've been in a while. 
satoru strokes your hair gently, watching your chest rise and fall with every breath. for the past month, you've been a ghost fueled only by coffee and half-burnt toast, and your dedication had taken a toll.
he runs a finger over the tense spot in between your eyes, smoothing it out and carefully kissing the top of your head. 
you spent a solid fifteen minutes crying to him about the test you scored lower than you expected on. satoru listened intently, like the ideal boyfriend he was trying to be.
if satoru was being honest, he wanted to be selfish. he wanted to drag you away from your laptop at night and cage you underneath him until morning. he wanted to tell you to skip a class or two to go out with him.
long story short, he just missed his girlfriend. 
————
"you awake?"
three hours later, satoru hasn't moved from his place beneath your sleeping figure. his legs are cramped and his stomach is growling, but he just can't bring himself to wake you up.
thankfully, you wake up not too long after the discomfort starts to sink in. satoru watches your eyes flutter open in the dim lamplight that barely illuminates your face.
"mhm," you murmur, reaching up to rub your eyes. barely a second later, you turn your head to satoru and frown. "what time is it?"
satoru hesitates. "six."
"it's been three hours?!" you gasp, scrambling out of his arms and making an indignant sound when satoru pulls you back into his lap. "satoru! i have to—"
satoru presses his lips to yours, effectively stopping your protests. his kiss is impatient, and his hand runs through your hair and keeps you firmly pressed against his lips. when he pulls back to take a breath, his cerulean eyes are locked with yours.
"relax," he murmurs quietly, tilting his head to the side and studying your face. the corners of satoru's mouth curve upwards into a smile. "please?" he breathes, widening his eyes imploringly.
"okay," you whisper. you're close enough to his face to count his eyelashes—his long, snow-white eyelashes—and close enough for satoru's charm to work on you.
"you've been so distant lately," satoru says with a slight shake of his head. "it's lonely at night without you." his hand drifts down to your thigh, and it's only then you realize that you're basically straddling him.
"satoru, i should—" he cuts you off with another kiss, and laughs at the way you scowl. "i should get back to working." 
"you had a test today, relax. you don't even have homework, and the next test is in what, a week? two?"
when you don't have a response to that, satoru clicks his tongue. "you can't keep working yourself this hard, baby," he chides, squeezing your thigh and kissing your cheek endearingly. "you want me to list off the consequences of working nonstop?"
"not really."
"well, they're not all bad," he muses, idly tapping your thigh with his index finger. satoru grins and threads his other hand through your hair and pushes your mouth onto his again, humming in approval of the way your lips are equally starved of him as his are of you. "you sure you don't wanna know?"
you sigh and rest your arms on his shoulders, nudging yourself closer to him and scrunching up your nose. "fine. tell me."
"another sleepless night, but this time, with me."
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velvett-tearss · 3 years
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Black Tea & Blushes — L. Ackerman
summary: The two of you never got along, but there were times that even fire and ice made a perfect pair.
warnings: cursing, no spoilers for anything past early s1, Levi’s a little shit at first (surprise, surprise), mentions of blood (they’re fighting titans :-) lol) gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)
genre: semi-canonverse, fluff, enemies to lovers (?)
word count: 3.3k
a/n: this was very self-indulgent lmao, sorry if it’s a bit messy 😭, <Hange, Connie & Sasha3 make an appearance bc I love them and you should too, hope you enjoy it <3
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"Couldn't you have gotten a cadet to do this?"
You raised a sharp brow at the man, trying to keep yourself from flipping his desk over. "Would you have yelled at them like you just yelled at me?"
The man's grey eyes didn’t meet yours, but there was a scowl on his face. Despite his steely eyes, he didn't say anything back. Instead, he pursed his lips and turned back to continue his paperwork.
You huffed in an attempt to ground yourself after being yelled at for the past two minutes. You took a sip from your own cup of the tea you had prepared for him, letting yourself savor the taste.
     "I don't understand." you said, tasting the earthy, black tea. "You said it was too cold last time, so I made sure it was extra warm. What's wrong with it? Is it too sour for you? I only added a few drops of lemon this time."
Levi remained silent, but you stood your ground, tapping your boot against the pavemented floor as you waited at his desk for an answer. You wouldn't let him win, not this time. Day after day, it seemed like he only grew ruder and ruder.
Your dislike for Levi Ackerman started the day you met him. He was still just a soldier when you joined the Survey Corp, and it wasn't long after that he become Captain.
He was mean, and he never seemed to care about anything, but God forbid you make a reckless move out in the field. It was as if all hell broke loose if you used a bit too much gas when slicing the nape of a Titan's neck.
     "Not everyone is Humanity's Strongest." you had spat at him when he scolded you on the way back to the walls. That only earned you a glare, seeing as Hange managed to secure your safety. If it weren't for them, you were certain you would've gotten stuck with stable duty for a month's end.
     You were glad he was nice to them, at least.
     At some point, you got promoted to Captain as well. One would think that since you shared the same rank, he would grow warmer to you, but that was another one of your mistakes.
     Everything about him rubbed you the wrong way, from his disagreeable manners to his awful way of speaking to soldiers. And, it was your disdain for him that got you stuck in this mess.
"A cadet could've done this." Levi stated again; you felt like you were being patronized. He raised a brow at you, holding the teacup in his hand. "A cadet could’ve made better tea than you.”
"Obviously not, Captain." you threw back sourly, snatching the cup from his hand. "A cadet could not have done this because if I hadn't interfered two weeks ago, who knows what you would've done to the poor man. And, all he did was make your tea wrong!”
Levi blinked at you, appearing bored with your conversation. "If you hadn't interfered, that soldier would be back with those good for nothing Military Police Officers doing what they're best at."
     You gritted your teeth. "And, what are they good for, Captain Ackerman?”
     His brow twitched slightly. “Absolutely nothing."
You let out a bitter laugh, placing the white ceramic teacups back on the tray you had brought in. "Now that you say it out loud, that reminds me a lot of someone I know."
     "What an awful way to talk about yourself.” Levi threw back with ease.
     The urge to roll your eyes at him was weighing on you, but you were stronger than the immaturity he seemed to bring out in you. "Captain, you must be growing old if you've already forgotten we're the same rank."
     Your decision of keeping yourself calm in his presence payed to be of use when you noticed the slight pause in his pen strokes at your words.
     But, you were well aware of how trustworthy Levi was in the sense that you knew he could always come back with something even worse than what he's told you before.
      "If you were of any use, you would know what's wrong with your tea. I'm sure even King Fritz could tell good tea from awful tea, and he's the most useless of them all." Levi told you, pen moving over the papers in front of him swiftly.
     "He could probably also tell a grown man from a spoiled brat," you told him, taking the tray with you as you left his office. "But, you make even that task seem impossible."
     You had to stop the triumphant grin from growing on your face when you heard his faint scoff from the other side of the wooden door.
Even if you managed to snag the last word of that argument, it didn’t feel as good as it usually did. The only reason you involved yourself in Levi Ackerman’s nightly tea was because 1) you didn’t like the way he spoke to the poor soldier who got stuck with job of handling it, and 2) Erwin asked that you try and be a bit nicer to your fellow captain.
You only did it to keep your job, really, and you would never let your Commander think less of you, even if he did favor Levi. Even Hange had tried to coax you into not letting The Ackerman’s sharp tongue get to you, but that didn’t seem to work.
Levi and you would never be friends, if that’s what Erwin meant when he pulled you aside at supper a few nights before. It was a lie to say you didn’t admire the man’s impressive skills, because you did.
But, admiration and respect were two separate things.
The two of you were jagged edges of broken glass that didn’t fit together, and that was perfectly fine. You didn’t mind being Levi being a sharp piece of glass, just as long as he kept his corners to himself and far from you.
Erwin, as observant as usual, caught on to the solution to your problem, and he even made sure you and Levi would rarely ever cross paths when the Scouts were out on an expedition. The two of you worked on opposite sides of the formation.
The only time you would ever work together would be if there were no other options, but both of you were reliable in your own senses: him with his... whatever he called it, and you with your wits.
You didn't mind being farthest from him, and if it were up to you, you'd go even farther.
     “Hey, you got new glasses.” you stated, noticing the new pair of brown frames that Hange wore the morning as the Scouts waited for the signal to begin the expedition.
“Oh, don’t remind me.” they said with a frown, holding the glasses in their hands. “Last night, Moblit and I were doing some research, and someone must’ve stolen my glasses because I couldn’t find them this morning.”
“Stole? Isn’t that a big accusation?”
They let out a hearty laugh. “It is! That’s why I’m saying it!” Hange replied, golden eyes widened at you in exasperation. “I’ve been stuck with these, and they’re too big for my face. All they do is fall off.”
“So maybe don’t wear them?” you wondered as you caught a glimpse of the dark head of hair you knew too well. “What’ll you do if you lose them out in the field? Better safe than sorry.”
“I wish, but I’m as blind as a bat without them.” Hange reasoned with a sigh before quickly composing themselves. “But, now that you mention it, I never did mind a challenge.”
The smirk growing on their face was one you didn’t quite like. Before you could talk some sense into them (if that were even possible) the signal went off to begin the mission.
They gave a wide smile and a thumbs up as a good luck token. "Don’t do anything crazy!” you called out when the two of you parted ways, taking your squad with you. “I mean it, Hange!”
Hange waved you off, charging in faster in their horse. It was up to poor Moblit to chase right after them.
Your squad remained close together for the majority of the mission. There wasn't much to do on your end of things, which was a relief. At some point, you decided to stop for a quick break before pushing forward.
If you were able to see five mintues into the future, you would never have let your squad talk you into taking a lunch break. Just as you were relaxing a bit, there was an Abnormal coming from the thick trees.
Your sense of smell wasn't as skilled as Miche, and if it weren't for one of the younger cadets on your squad who had a keen sense of hearing, you all would've been Titan food.
It didn't take long for you to spring into action, your squad following suit. You made sure to use the plans Erwin had issued out on previous Scout meetings.
When the Abnormal finally made it to where you and your squad stopped, the beastly creature managed to catch one of your soldiers in midair. As the young boy was raised in the air, his stomach couldn't contain his recent lunch.
Gravity works in wonders, you thought when his earlier lunch fell onto you with a splat! You couldn't blame the poor boy; it was better upstairs than downstairs. As terrible a feeling it was to have chunky vomit all over you, you knew it would be as even worse feeling if the boy died under your care.
Your squad got to him before any damage was permanent, at least physically. When the killing blow was done, you tended to your soldier. He muttered out apologies for having thrown up on you, but you were merely in the line of fire.
"It's okay, Connie." you reassured him after pulling off your green cape that had been soiled in aid to shield you. “I’d rather it be your lunch on me than your organs.”
You ordered that he ride with your other cadet, Sasha. He let out a pained laugh at your words, leaning against her on her horse. She scolded him for “wasting so much food,” to which lead to their silly banter, which you didn’t mind as long as they were safe.
     As unfortunate as it was, that incident wasn't the last of it. There wasn't much time between Connie getting his ribs crushed by a Titan and the numerous amount of red flares that were being shot into the air.  The amount of red powder in the sky was enough to cast a shadow of worry over you.
     By the time your squad made it to where the red flares had been signaled, it was a mess. Abnormal and Pure Titans were ambushing the rest of whatever was left of the Survey Corp. Your squad wasted no time in following your orders as you made a beeline for the trees where a group of Abnormals were huddled together.
     When you finally got a good look at the scene in the forest, your sight was met with Titan smoke and blood of fallen comrades. It was a disaster, as it always was. But you knew, where there was smoke, there was definitely fire.
And, that fire was Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.
He looked ablaze, nothing but a flash in the distance. Slicing Titan limbs as if they were merely flowers in his way, Levi Ackerman was kicking ass. It was in moments like this — where he looked like the answer to all the prayers of the people inside the walls — that you wondered if you truly hated him all along.
“Section Commander!” Moblit cried, chasing after Hange as they swung on the highest tree of the forest. It seemed as though they forgot all about how loose their glasses were as they did a number of twirls in the air. His voice was enough to snap you out of your trance and assist your fellow comrades.
You managed to fight off three Pure Titans and two Abnormals for what seemed like forever. It might’ve been even worse if not for Connie Springer’s lunch all over you that acted as Titan Repellant.
Perhaps you would tell Hange of your new discovery, but every time you managed to get close to them while fighting off the Titans, all they did was badger you with questions upon questions.
“Are you sure you haven’t you seen them?!” Hange cried for the fifth time, eyes squinted at you from their branch opposite you. Moblit was fighting off a creepy Abnormal with ugly teeth a few feet from you.
“No, I haven’t! And, didn’t I tell you your glasses would fall if you took them with you?!” you shouted back from your place on the tree before taking a breath to try to slice the neck of your second Pure Titan. “Go back to the wagon, Hange, before you get yourself killed!”
They huffed and puffed, but they let Moblit guide them to the wagon to wait until the rest of the Scouts could find a moment to retreat back to the walls.
After finally slicing the nape of your final Titan, you looked over to where you had last seen Levi. Only, he was nowhere to be found. A panic set in when you couldn’t find any sight of him.
“Captain?” you called out from your place on a tree branch where you were catching your breath. You squinted your eyes to get a farther look, but it didn’t help that much. “Captain Ackerman, are you there? Do you—”
But, that’s when you felt a jostle of wind hit your back. You turned quickly to see the dark-haired man swinging through the trees, holding an unconscious Oluo.
You followed him, figuring if you took his squad member off his hands that Levi would have a better chance of taking down more Titans. Maybe even with a man who weighed far more than himself in his hands, Levi could still have a better chance than you.
“Captain, I’ve got him. I’ll take—”
But, Levi wouldn’t budge. It was like he wasn’t listening to you, and you didn’t know if it was by choice or coincidence. You huffed and rushed quicker to help him in carrying Oluo.
Maybe it was just your luck, or maybe it was just his, but right before you managed to reach him, a Titan’s jaw came from below him, wide and ready for lunchtime.
There was nothing for him to do, not with his hands full. Surely he knew that from the way his grey eyes finally broke through from that awful void he’d placed you in, the one where all you ever got from him was scoldings and insults and cold stares that often made you wonder if he actually did hate you.
And, for the first time, you saw panic flash through his grey eyes, his life flash before his eyes.
“Levi!” you cried, using the rest of your ODM gear’s gas to catch up to him. You knew if he were to survive such an event, he would scold you for wasting your gas on an old lump like him.
But, for once, Levi had something to say about you that didn’t regard your incompetence to make decent tea or your recklessness that spurred you to use all your gas just to save him and the bullheaded, baboon by the name of Oluo.
It was your astonishing speed.
You got to the two men right before the great wide jaws of the Titan could snap closed and swallow the three of you for its meal, which Levi had to admit (but probably never would) was quite impressive.
“Shit!” you hissed out when the three of you landed on another tree branch. As quick as you got to the branch was as quick as Miche was to come and ensure your safety, slicing the Titan’s nape with ease.
Oluo was still unconscious and a little bloodied up and battered, but he was safe.
“What the hell were you thinking?!” Levi yelled, voice slightly hoarse from everything that had just happened. His hair was a mess, and you held back a laugh at the sight of him. “Why— why would you? I mean, what— and, why do you smell like—”
“A thank you is perfectly fine, Ackerman.” you coughed out, catching your breath from the overexertion you just forced yourself through. Carrying two grown men was tough, especially when it was between life or death. “As for the smell, one of my soldiers threw up on me.”
Levi blinked at you, his expression consisting of disgust and confusion. “What?”
“My soldier. He threw up on me earlier.”
“I heard you the first time.” he told you, blinking quickly as if it were going to grant him some clarity. You didn’t know if his confusion was from your act of saving him and his squad member or from not knowing what to say to you after.
He looked funny, with his hair that of a bird’s nest and his cheeks flushed pink.
“Did you hit your head on the way down?”
“W-what?”
“Your head? Did you hit it?”
“No, I-I’m fine.” he scrambled upright, finding purchase on the unconscious Oluo’s shin. Your eyes flickered to where his hand was placed, and he snatched it right off immediately, burning a deeper shade of pink.
“Oh.” you muttered, holding back a chuckle. There was no way Levi was without a concussion, not with the way he was acting all of a sudden: stuttering and turning pink on you. It was a wonder you caught up to him before he collapsed.
“Are you sure you’re okay, Captain?” you asked again, fixing your uniform before getting to your feet. You wobbled a bit; Levi raised a brow at you. “You look sick. Why don’t you sit in the injury wagon for a bit on the way back? Just in case.”
He waved you off, standing on his two feet as well. You didn’t want to cause a fight, not right after what had just happened and not outside the walls, so you decided to say nothing about his seeming concussion.
The two of you lifted Oluo off the ground, blood seeping from the side of the man’s mouth. “Is it his ribs? Was it an Abnormal? They were awful today.” you questioned, looking to Levi for answers.
“He bit his tongue, again, before ramming into a tree.” Levi told you, averting his gaze from you as he shifted the man against his shoulder for a better grip. “He said something f-fell from the sky.”
You nodded, letting yourself chuckle. “What could it’ve been? Bird shit?”
Levi shrugged at your words.
He was far too quiet for your liking. Maybe he did have a concussion. It wouldn’t be good if he rode back like that. Perhaps if you spoke to Erwin or Hange about it, one of them could convince Levi to get checked out once you got back to the walls.
The two of you managed to get back to the rest of the Scouts safely. You helped Levi placing Oluo in the wagon with the wounded and the fallen while everyone else was getting accounted for.
All the while, Hange was trying to persuade Erwin into letting them form a search party for their glasses that had fallen while they were swinging on the trees.
Though you were straining to listen to their conversation, you were more than certain that Erwin would never allow such a thing, but you had to admire Hange’s efforts, as fruitless as they were.
“Thank you.”
You snapped your head to Levi.
He refused to meet your gaze again, busying himself with readjusting his soldier’s cape. If not for the obvious step into uncharted territory between the two of you, you would’ve commented on the rosy blush he adorned.
Suddenly, you were overcome with a laughter, waving him off with your hand quickly. “I was just joking about that, Captain. Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but I’m just surprised you actually—”
He scoffed, the expression on his face shifting to one of impatience. “Don’t be a brat. Just take the compliment.” Levi huffed out, visibly annoyed with your chatter.
A look of shock overtook your face. “Oh, so you’re complimenting me? Why didn’t you just say so, then?”
“Oi, that’s not what I meant—”
“No, it’s fine. I heard you, loud and clear.” you interrupted, smiling widely at him. “You’re oh-so very welcome, Captain Ackerman, and if you ever need me to save your ass again, you know where to find me.”
Levi opted to say nothing back, merely shaking his head at you when you gave a lazy salute and started back to the other side of the formation where your horse and squad awaited you.
“Besides,” you shrugged, turning back for a moment to catch him looking at you. “Who else would teach me how to make tea?”
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note: I don’t think I specified it, but Oluo was knocked unconscious bc some object (Hange’s glasses) fell from the sky lmao 🐸
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scarabbai · 4 years
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What the- i swear I thought I was following you for a long time- I just saw that it wasn't the case smh. Your rr au literally fascinates me. Like I have always had the idea if how they would be in an rr situation. So about this childhood incident you mentioned, what is it. Can I know?
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LIKING MY AU (🥺) AND DW, YOUVE ACTUALLY BEEN FOLLOWING FOR A WHILE! Tumblr has a tendency to say you’re not following when you’ve most definitely been following the whole time for some reason??
As for the childhood incident, yes! I might write some of the scenes I’m about to mention in more detail later, but I’ll share what happened now since it’s really important in defining role reversed Jamil and Kalim’s current relationship. It also provides an important glimpse into what it used to be.
(Full story under the cut bc SERIOUSLY I went WAY overboard and it’s super long OTL)
When Kalim and Jamil first met, they weren’t anything close to friends. In fact, they barely got along. Their first meeting happened because Kalim was handpicked by Jamil’s father for his notable loyalty and dedication to the Vipers at his young age and introduced—more like presented—to Jamil as his new playmate and personal servant. Basically, it was Kalim’s job to be—or at least act as—Jamil’s friend.
Even at that young age, Jamil was a stuck up sourpuss who had already developed the nasty habit of looking down on others. After all, he was rich, spoiled, and practically a little prodigy. Nobody he met was ever at his level, and it’s not like he was ever taught humility. Naturally, he drove away practically everyone his own age and therefore didn’t have any friends. This concerned Jamil’s father and thus Kalim was brought into the picture. However, an important thing to note is that Jamil also happens to have a rebellious streak. He hates being coddled and is already very frustrated with his father’s constant attempts to keep him safe (with bodyguards, babysitters, etc) since he feels like he’s “being babied.” Bc of this, he’s very skeptical upon Kalim’s arrival, accuses him of being some other kind of guard in disguise, and is just generally very rude to him.
Obviously that doesn’t sit well with Kalim and they end up bickering for a while (“I’m not a liar!” “Yes you are!”) before Kalim finally catches Jamil’s attention by admitting he isn’t that great with magic yet. This leads to them both calming down and talking about all the stuff in Jamil’s room, which then prompts Jamil to kinda show off his skills in magic as well as his belongings. Jamil’s father checks in on them and sees Kalim cheering Jamil on as he’s showing him a spell he learned, which gets Kalim officially approved to stay by Jamil’s side for the foreseeable future. They still aren’t proper friends at this point, though. Jamil gets annoyed by Kalim’s presence bc it’s a reminder that his dad is still trying to “run his life” by looking out for him, and Kalim is lowkey having second thoughts about this whole “important job” thing bc Jamil’s kinda mean...
Eventually they become more comfortable with each other’s presence, but they still aren’t really friends. They end up with more of a “mastermind and henchmen” dynamic instead, with Jamil leading them both into trouble while Kalim gets the short end of the stick as the (not very believable, so he never actually gets punished) scapegoat of most of Jamil’s schemes. By this point, Kalim has kinda just accepted that this is gonna be the way things are and doesn’t really question it, and Jamil stops seeing Kalim as a nuisance and more like a source of entertainment, praise, etc. Basically Jamil pushes Kalim around bc he knows he can get away with it and bc Kalim will always tell him what he wants to hear. Fun for Jamil! Not so fun for Kalim. This goes on for some time.
About several months to a year or so later, a festival in the city is announced. Being very sheltered and restricted his whole life, Jamil really wants to get out there and see the activities and events that are going to be hosted (especially the dancing! He’s super interested in all the different types of dance that’ll be showcased at the festival). However, his dad comes in the night before the festival and forbids Jamil from going bc “there’s too many people and it’ll be dangerous,” not revealing that he’s heard news of the family’s enemies in the area. Knowing his son is a little schemer but also that he’ll be very upset, he calls Kalim in to stay with Jamil for the rest of the night and the next day not only to make sure he won’t try anything but also to hopefully cheer him up.
Despite knowing full well that orders from his dad > his own wishes and that Kalim has to listen to his dad over him since his dad outclasses him in authority, Jamil’s bitter enough to poke the hornet’s nest and try to bait Kalim into helping him sneak out anyway. In doing so, he pulls some pretty guilt trippy stuff and whines about how he clearly doesn’t have any “real friends” since “real friends” help each other do stupid stuff like sneaking out. He doesn’t expect this to work at all given Kalim’s strict adherence to authority and rules, but he does it anyway bc taking out his frustration over his father’s actions on Kalim is easier than just quietly accepting his dad’s attempt to protect him.
Jamil ends up severely underestimating three very important factors:
Kalim’s own desire to go to the festival
How much his happiness matters to Kalim
The fact that Kalim actually does see him as a friend/hopes they can be true friends
Kalim gets pretty quiet for the rest of the night, and when his required time keeping Jamil company is up, he leaves the room without a word. This makes Jamil all disappointed and kinda upset with himself bc he thinks he’s gonna get ratted out, but nothing ends up happening. The next morning, Kalim shows up to Jamil’s room with two sets of casual clothes from his own wardrobe in his hands and a smile on his face. To Jamil’s utter shock (Kalim has never gone against orders before, especially ones directly from his dad), Kalim explains that he used his usual credibility to his advantage and managed to lie his way to a perfect cover for the both of them, and if they leave now nobody will notice until they’re long gone. He broke the rules for the sake of Jamil’s happiness, and that’s a gesture that means so much to them both it makes Jamil feel kinda funny.
He brushes it off though bc this is his moment! This is the chance he’s been waiting for, and all the different plans and ways to sneak out he thought of while lying awake the night before can finally be put into action with Kalim’s help! With the combined power of Jamil’s strategic thinking and some extra strength/height boosts from Kalim, they manage to make it off the property with the others none the wiser. In order to keep things lowkey, they’re both dressed in the casual clothes Kalim brought, and Jamil has Kalim stop addressing him as “Master Viper/Master Jamil” for the time being so they just seem like two regular kids instead of the Viper heir and his servant. It’s just a small, temporary thing, and Jamil doesn’t even pay it any mind, but it turns out to be a very important equalizing factor for them both. Suddenly, their social standings aren’t nearly as skewed.
Jamil knows exactly what he wants to do at the festival and fully expects things to go his way the whole time, but when they arrive, he sees something he never expected to, and it causes him to forget about his schedule and all the things he was gonna immediately drag Kalim to see and do:
Standing in the sun and in the thick of all the lively activity, Kalim is practically glowing with excitement, flourishing in the crowds and people, his face lighting up in a way Jamil has never seen in the year or so they’ve known each other. He’s so happy and alive and it throws Jamil off completely bc he’s never seen Kalim THIS joyful before. He’s never seen Kalim in his natural element even though they see each other almost every day.
Seeing this change in Kalim leaves Jamil stunned long enough for Kalim to get ahead of himself in excitement and grab Jamil’s hand to pull him along and see all the stalls and colorful sights and gawk and admire all the things they have for sale, things that Kalim knows he can’t afford but wow isn’t it nice to see all these things anyway even if he can’t have them (even if he wishes he could have them) and he’s so starry eyed and he’s pointing out things to Jamil who is still struck by this liveliness in Kalim that he’s never seen before, so shocked and entranced by the life in Kalim’s eyes and the way he’s speaking so fast that his words almost blend together that he reaches into his pocket and pays for each and every trinket Kalim stares longingly at just to keep on seeing his smile, just to see the way Kalim brightens up and jumps up and down with excitement and gratitude (“thank you Jamil-sama, thank you thank you thank you!”) and he lets Kalim be the star of the show for the very first time, lets him be the one in charge of the schedule, following him here and there as Kalim sees something that grabs his attention and then they’re both off like a jet, Kalim weaving through crowds like an expert while Jamil tags along clumsily behind, singing and laughing and there’s this one moment, one magical moment when Kalim stops at a stand selling coconut juice and when he mentions it’s his favorite drink, his favorite flavor ever, Jamil buys them both one coconut each without hesitation, watching as Kalim enjoys his drink like it’s the best thing in the whole entire world (and watching Kalim, he could almost think it was too, even if he doesn’t like it nearly as much) and wonders how in the world he managed to mess up so badly to know someone for so long and still never know his favorite food, to see each other every day but never once see Kalim like this, with so much joy, and Jamil stands there, sipping his coconut juice as Kalim sings and dances in place as they watch a concert performance together, wondering where he went so wrong, wondering when he forgot Kalim was a real person, wondering if he ever realized Kalim lived and breathed and had feelings.
It’s the wakeup call Jamil didn’t know he needed. He realizes for the first time how little Kalim gets to have some fun of his own whenever they play together, how he’s always the one dragging Kalim into messy situations, how Kalim may have been kinda happy when they’re together but clearly he’s never been truly happy in all of the time they’ve spent together, how Kalim is a real friend who cares and puts up with so much while Jamil has been nothing but a bully and an asshole.
As the sun sets and he and Kalim are heading back to the estate, Jamil thinks about this a lot. He feels extremely guilty over his shitty attitude and resolves to do better, to be proper friends with Kalim, to be nicer and kinder and to appreciate the people and things he has in his life. He’s going to fix things. He’s going to do it right from now on.
Unfortunately for them both, Jamil is too lost in thought to notice that someone else has noticed him.
The next sequence of events is a blur to Jamil. One moment he’s walking through a less populated street side by side with a friend he’s wronged, and the next, said friend is pushing Jamil out of the way as some rando swipes at him. They both land in a heap on the floor, but adrenaline gives Kalim the speed to recover, grab Jamil’s hand, and make a break for it before the person can make another attempt at grabbing them. Jamil’s too disoriented and in too close a range to prepare a good enough spell to get the person off their tail, so they’re both in big trouble as they run through shortcuts and alleyways to get home faster while their pursuer is hot on their heels. Eventually their luck runs out, and the person catches up to them.
Kalim is no bodyguard, but he still throws himself between Jamil and the attacker to protect him. It’s two little kids against one adult. The way the person looms over them is terrifying, they’re both shaking, Jamil is on the floor bc Kalim pushed him too hard when he tried to tell him to just leave him behind and run for it, and Kalim himself is screaming his poor lungs out, crying for help in hopes that he’ll catch the attention of the people milling about. He does, but not before he takes a severe blow to the head and goes down hard. With the help of both some alarmed bystanders and a blast of Jamil’s tearful, rage-fueled magic (“NO!! KALIM!!! KALIM!!!”), the pursuer gets taken out and the bystanders, who recognize who Jamil is, contact the authorities and his family. They stay with him while Jamil hugs Kalim’s unconscious body and cries his eyes out bc this wasn’t supposed to happen, he should have listened, Dad was right, he was stupid, he got them both hurt, Kalim isn’t smiling anymore, he won’t open his eyes, there’s so much blood everywhere, there’s so much blood coming from Kalim’s head—
In almost no time at all, Jamil’s dad, some bodyguards, and one of the family’s healers arrive at the scene to find Jamil inconsolable and Kalim injured. Kalim gets some emergency healing from the medic, but his wound is deemed too severe for the magic to be able to reverse all the damage at once and therefore he needs to be rushed back to the manor’s infirmary. Jamil’s dad gently pulls Jamil away from Kalim so he can be taken to properly heal, holding his crying son close as he watches the medic carry away a much too still, much too small body. When they head back to the estate, he picks up his son and carries him the whole way, and Jamil doesn’t even have the energy to interrupt his sobbing to complain. Jamil’s father tries to ignore the blood staining his son’s clothes, the red on his hands, and keeps going. He cleans him up when they get back (and tries, again, not to feel sick as he sees the color of the water) and that night, Jamil is too afraid to sleep in his own room. He reads bedtime story to his son for the first time in a long while, and when Jamil finally falls asleep, curled up with tears still clinging to his eyelashes, Mr. Viper stays awake a little longer to watch over him.
It takes days just for Kalim to open his eyes again, and there’s a new scar waiting for him when he does.
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hateful1979 · 3 years
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loki finale ask (finally)
tbf i didn’t really go in blind because i am an internet addict. parts that were already spoiled for me include:
mobius doesnt know who loki is 😭
sylvie and loki kiss (why!) & she immediately transports him back to the tva. so presumably wasn't actually that romantic, just manipulative (still bad)
the multiverse gets created
kang is the one who remains
actually watching the episode taught me that:
kang created the tva is because he’s a genius egomaniac who wanted to keep himself safe from all the other genius egomaniac versions of himself (this totally works given his comic origins, he's dealt with many versions of himself, eg. immortus, but i have a lot more questions below)
sylki kiss was definitely not romantic. she tricked him so she could kill kang. (still not a good enough excuse smh)
my interpretation of their fight: neither loki nor sylvie, if they 100% knew that kang was telling the truth about the tva, would kill kang. sylvie told loki she was doing this because she thought he was lying. (not totally true to loki's characterization imo, i'd think that both loki and sylvie would rather deal with infinite kangs than give up on free will)
new mobius doesn't know who loki is not because the tva wiped his memories, but because this is a totally different version of mobius (unmined angst potential imo)
ravonna fights mobius, lets him live, and goes out in search of "free will", and may align with kang in the future, since ravonna in the comics is kang's wife. (curious to see what they do with her. i have Thoughts on her place in the whole religious allegory of the show i will explore in my wowki fanfic)
me overthinking things
if kang knows all why would he go through all this trouble to lead loki and sylvie here? he couldn't have done this in an easier, less heartbreaking way? his plan was so contrived :/
one question i've kinda pushed aside for the show is: what kind of time travel disruption would qualify for a nexus event? because technically any variation, no matter how small, should create a branch in the timeline, because 2 contradictory things can't happen in the same timeline at the same time. but now we might have a kind of answer: if kang founded the tva to avoid other versions of kang, he doesn't need to make sure there's 1 sacred timeline, he'd just need to make sure all the variations are so small that the infinite timelines are basically the same, so there's basically infinity copies of the same timeline in existence, thus averting multiversal war between egotistical kangs.
why was there that arbitrary barrier past which kang couldn't see? yeah, ✨suspense✨ and ✨plot✨, but it's arbitrary, and it really would've made no difference if he knew what happened to him. in fact i quite like the idea of kang walking into his own death.
thoughts that don't really fit on this list
the finale was awful. not just the sylki kiss & bad narrative choices or whatever. there was so much padding and exposition, jonathan majors's performance totally took me out of it (i doubt he's a bad actor, this episode didn't give him a good opportunity to shine), the writing was super slow and bad, this ep could have been slimmed down to like 15 minutes because not a lot actually happened.
natalie holt's music — both the titles (lokius!) and the actual tracks — slap so hard. probably the best soundtrack in the mcu other than black panther. she really gets the show
production & costume design of everything related to kang was amazing, felt very vast, old, and regal
sylvie is acutally a surprisingly well-realized woman character and i'm quite proud of the show for that. (unfortunately neither her nor b-15 are fully realized until they kiss each other which has not happened as of yet)
please watch this it has brought me great comfort
HIIII so happy u saw it <3
1. YEAH :’) that broke me .
2. IKR i am Not a Fan and yeah! it was a manipulative kiss so sylvie could get what she wants but there are so many other things they could’ve went with !!!!!
3 + 4. damn it sucks that u got spoiled for those but yeah that’s what new in the em c you !!
——
1. yep! i don’t know much about his comic origins but from what i know it seems pretty in character
2. exactly!!!!!! and yeah it’s not a good enough excuse they could’ve gone with anything else !!!!
3. yeah !! i think both options (killing kang and fighting other versions of him / ruling the timeline) seemed pretty loki HJSKD but i feel like he’s gone through lots of character development through the show and i thought they would both go with killing kang but i guess not dhdjjfjd
4. yep and it hurts . so much .
5. yeah that makes sense !! and yeah i’m curious to see what they do with her, she felt kind of vague and didn’t have enough good motives to be a villain, so yeah i’m curious to see where her character goes !!!
——
1. yeah his plan kinda backfired HJSJDJD but i guess it works for plot HJSKDKD
2.
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that’s a lot of thinking to do but i think ur right !!
3. yeah ! i think that ✨suspense✨ was nice for a minute but him walking in to his own death seems way more fun
——
1. yeah it was really,,,,,,, boring ? idk i wasn’t really interested yknow? there was a lot of talky talky (ha mobius reference am i cool) so yeah this ep could’ve been a Lot better but it is what it is i guess
2. YES !!! everyday i was up and think about the opening of ep 5 (was it ep 5? i think it was yeah) but anyway i could listen to the soundtrack for HOURS
3. YEAHH they made him really interesting so i’m excited to see him again !!!
4. YES i think that’s why so many people love her bc she was really well written and she didn’t turn out to be the whole “woman helps man to get what he wants” trope !!!! she actually got what she was going for in the end so yeah !!!! also so true manifesting sylvie and hunter b 15 kiss next season
5. HAAHHAHAHH i love that tysm my day is blessed
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