did something happened in love and deepspace community? (referring about your recent post)

thanks for asking! no one big thing in particular, but i find that a lot of the talk about love and deepspace online adds to the larger pattern of people attributing popular chinese media as japanese or korean, because japanese or korean media is more palatable for western audiences (for example, kpop and anime). which is really frustrating because it further stigmatizes chinese media and culture, and also we want our credit! i'm not the first person to talk about this, in fact a lot of chinese individuals have talked about this.

i've seen ppl refer to love and deepspace as a japanese or korean app. i've also seen a lot of ppl use the korean or japanese voices (and never the chinese voices) for the characters in love and deepspace, despite not speaking japanese or korean themselves. which imo blatantly shows how ppl are willing to fetishize certain cultures/ethnicities, while simultaneously buying into the stigmatization of others.

i'm chinese, so i've found this really frustrating and any chance i get to talk about the fetishization of certain asian cultures versus the stigmatization of others, i will take! cause it's really interesting.

Mesmer Jr and Medicine Pocket having beef in official arts collection (as of 1 May 2024). I hope they keep beefing for all of eternity.

Chell being horrified at the sight of apertures god in a tangible, humanoid form with GLaDOS wearing a crown of thorns for a little 😝JC 🤪 reference

GLaDOS and Chell soft cuddling

Wheatley and Chell also soft cuddling

Wheatley getting a lil smooch from Chell

+ a bonus Wheatley concept design in the corner

GLaDOS designed Wheatley’s android so I doubt she would make his similar to her own. The design for his optic frame has been carried over, with a nook between his eyes over his nose bridge to resemble round glasses, making him look a little stupid. His hair is less obviously synthetic compared to GLaDOS and it’s much messier. He’s also more hastily put together, which is why bolts are visible on his chin. She also made him quite round, because he was formerly a ball, and made him shorter than Chell (with her long fall boots) in order to negate any attempts at intimidation from him. She kept him different even down to his neck mechanics. Kinda gives insight into her superiority complex and strange perception of human social constructs. Especially when it comes to physical appearance.

dolph was always meant to be doomed; something of an analysis

i'm on my third rewatch of captain laserhawk, and on this one i've been focusing more on the little details that you don't get on your first or even second time watching it. i've noticed little things, such as pey'j helping and then going on to shield a hybrid who's dressed similarly to jade in the third episode. but i've also noticed bigger things, such as alex and dolph.

keep in mind that this show is just filled to the brim with political messaging, it was purposefully designed that way. so when someone mentioned on here that alex was an accelerationist, it explained a lot. we don't know much about alex in terms of his backstory, we only know he helped dolph after dolph attempted to mug him and they ended up falling in love. it's also implied that alex and dolph have been repeatedly reported on the news as terrorists more than we've seen, with rayman referring to them as being the usual suspects when the kaiju attack happened, despite dolph literally not even being there when alex did that shit. they're known to do this shit, and we know alex is a charismatic guy. it's not too far fetched to say once or while dolph was falling in love with this gayass white saviour saint that alex talked him into this shit for alex's own purposes. because yes, he has a cause, but he's also a bit in over his head, maybe with power. he's aware of the power he has over dolph, how he actively uses the 'i love you' card multiple times when they're together and when they're not together. he just had a bit too much confidence in his hold over dolph, but to be fair, alex, you were topping some indulgent mob boss for your cause (because let's be honest of course your sources would be tight if they were being fucked for it) then continued fucking said mob boss and got caught with your dick out by your ex who you think you can get back with. alex uses people as tools, he just doesn't put his shit in the right places at the right times.

i'm getting off track, but the point i'm getting to is that alex most definitely saw dolph, a man who clearly has some jacked up eden tech smacked onto his twink ass, at his lowest, and picked him up like a shiny new toy. he was always going to use dolph. but how come dolph is so easy to use? he's starved for kindness. he's the stray dog that comes up to you at restaurants to act all nonchalant because 95% of the time he gets neglected, but the second he gets offered scraps, he shows how hungry he is. we don't know much about his childhood, and what we do know is under the lenses of literal eden propaganda. we do however know how people get like underneath the hand of eden.

everyone say thanks to rayman, who concidentally, is dolph's foil. both of them worked under eden as their lap dogs, one as a propagandist and the other as military, but dolph had gotten out of the hold the propaganda had on him while rayman's barely shaking it off. both of them are also portrayed as poor little tragic immigrants and the impoverished stand ins both in universe and story wise. they're the feel good picking yourself up american dream stories that people can feel inspired by or feel proud about the country with. dolph had a photo with a kid holding a doll of him. before he became ex military, he was definitely the guy they paraded around as a previous lost cause that eden helped. red, who's as political as his assigned colour, bitches about identity politics in that one off line for a reason. he also jus hates brown people fr he kicked me down a flight of stairs

now we can assume that dolph had picked himself up out of the propaganda machine somehow. he realised he was used and he didn't want that shit. he's attempting to get himself his own life, for fucks sake. he jus happened to get lead on by the wrong guy, which then lead him to get used by eden AGAIN. this time not only in a physical way via soldier work, but emotionally too, with sarah easily manipulating him with what? a sob story and helping him out, maybe being friendly with him along the way.

he wants a normal life. he wants a goddamn normal life. he jus continues to be selected as a tool.

you can see how fucking starved he is for kindness. you ever think about the fact that in his dream life, he sees jade and pey'j? he knew these people for less than a week, yet they get a place in his dream life. most notably, jade gets a speaking role in his dream life. the only other person who speaks, besides marcus, is alex, someone who had known him and shown kindness to him. jade has also shown kindness to dolph. she's the friendliest face there in the ghosts, being the first one to check on dolph when he wakes up, offers an explanation to him, and also makes an effort to include him in her little shenanigans with the video and all!! dolph was all emo alpha wolf and all, but despite his constant cold shoulder, she was kind!!

there was someone who was more than kind though; bullfrog. because bullfrog actively looked out for dolph, despite his constant pushback against bullfrogs advice whenever they weren't separated. and in the end, it's bullfrogs kindness and compassion that hits dolph the deepest. dolph gets out of his depressive state to go back for bullfrog. he cares about people, he goes out of his way to do shit for the people who show him the slightest bit of kindness. he backed up sarah after one good conversation with her to marcus for fucks sake. dolph is just a guy who keeps getting used though. he's so loyal to anyone who looks his way that it's a fatal flaw that ends up with his head blown up. he's a shakespearean tragedy at the moment. i hope in the potential season 2 that he gets to have more moments where he gets to be his own person. not defined by an organisation or a person or a cause, but what he chooses to define himself by. he's on his way there. he jus deserves to be allowed to live for himself. after all, he has already met his end of that story. he can make a new one.

anyways if u reached the end of this im down to discuss this :D i also did get a few points from other people on here, but let me know what u think nd all

There's a certain CCCC summary video that we really, really like. We think it is a great video for people if they want to grasp the story more clearly, if they're confused, or if they're listening to the album for the first time.

That video being Chonny Jash and the Weight of the Mind on Youtube by W3tBl@nk3t. We think they cover it really well.

However, I'm sharing this for a different reason; they say few certain things that really struck with us until now, that I'd like to share with the fandom. Sometimes, we see people really just.. Miss the point of CCCC entirely, and I'd like to shine a light on what was said here. If you'd like to hear this for yourself on video, the timestamp is 35:57-36:45.

“..I bet we all could relate to that, they are the prime example of the side of you that suffers and the side of you that hates yourself for suffering:

The side of you that just wants to slow down and feel everything even to the unhealthy extent of not being able to do anything else(1), but also the side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it(2).

Sure, laying in bed all day every day to rot isn't healthy, but neither is boiling things down and invalidating your own emotions. Both are paths to inevitable disaster, and that's what Chonny is doing here. Keep in mind that the idea behind this album is being whole, and that means neither of these sides are entirely in the right or the wrong; this album is about inner compromise and acceptance(3).”

1.) The side of you that suffers; Heart. He is representative of Whole's emotions, he holds them. Your emotions can go haywire, especially when one's mentally ill and has no way of their feelings being validated. An emotional person like Heart suffers under the weight of crushing, devastating feelings. He wants to feel things out, have time to just process everything, even if it takes them days or weeks to get over it. It's not healthy, but feeling is what he does, and he wants to help because he knows he has importance. Solely focusing on just your emotions isn't the best thing to do, however.

2.) The side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it; Mind. Many people have been there, have wanted themselves to stop wallowing in their own emotions and just do something else, even to the point where you think feeling things out is unnecessary. This is also unhealthy, but not intentionally. Like Heart, Mind just wants to help, everything he does is in best interest. This is what he thinks will get them to move on the quickest; to leave behind emotions and focus on anything BUT that. Also not the best thing to do.

3.) This album is about inner compromise and acceptance; About being whole. Neither of Heart and Mind are right nor wrong. They have their own ways of doing things, of what they think will help their whole self out the most, but both are unhealthy despite the good intentions. They fight over who's wrong or right, when they shouldn't even be doing so in the first place. It's your thoughts against your emotions, basically; your feelings contradict your thoughts, and it leads to an inner war of sorts. This won't make things better, which is why you can't have Mind over Heart or vice versa; you'll need both of them. In the album, they are only able to be whole when they get along. They harmonize, they 'combine', they see eye to eye with each other and work together instead of fighting over and over. Inner compromise is achieved with this, and acceptance can lead them away from any disaster that there's to come.

What we're trying to say is that mental health is a large thing tackled within CCCC, and yet we see a lot of people who overlook it; thus, end up missing the point of the whole album. We see a lot of people believe Mind's perspective a little too much and treat Heart quite harshly, or the other way where people demonize Mind and say that Heart is perfect, when it's not really that in the slightest.

This is not a hate post towards people's interpretations of CCCC or how they view characters, I'm just saying that people can tend to overlook what's in the very narrative, and we see a concerning amount of people do such.

Anyways. Stream CCCC and put your Hearts and Minds in the get along shirt. Have a nice day.

im having more thoughts about sora. how this 14 year old kid did not hesitate to stab himself in the chest, effectively killing himself to free his friend. didn’t even stop to consider any other option. maybe he didn’t think he’d die but he still stabbed himself in the chest and grinned just before doing so.

i know we saw sora drop to his knees when riku ripped the keyblade away from him and then donald and goofy subsequently abandoned (wonder if that has anything to do with his later actions huh) him but otherwise he didn’t react that much iirc. i feel like that speaks to him being used to burying his emotions from a young, young age. and then him grinning right before stabbing himself is just so disturbing to me now. like as a kid i was like aw he’s trying to reassure his friends and like yeah that’s part of it i think but like that was his only reaction to literally killing himself. he is so not okay.

what the hell happened to this kid before the games even started to make him like this?

and the fact that it’s not addressed again (i think) is so wild to me. donald and goofy watched him stab himself with a smile and then said nothing about it after he’s brought back?? like that’s so concerning, like 1000000000/10 on the concerning scale. but like they abandoned him in the first place so why am i surprised.

idk if this is a dumb question, but does riku know that’s how he freed kairi’s heart? like im assuming he knows sora was a heartless at one point since he has a nobody but did he ever find out how that happened? i forget stuff a lot, so sorry if there is somewhere where it’s shown he knows about it and i can’t remember.

i’ve said before i want sora’s darkness to be explored more and i hope this is part of it. like i want his suicidal tendencies to be addressed and for sora to realize that he is actually worth a damn

The BAU ruined Reid’s life and he has every right to separate himself from them

He was a teenager when he met Gideon and he had hopes and dreams that had nothing to do with law enforcement. He had PHDs in engineering, maths and chemistry showing that he clearly wanted to go into something more scientific. He said that he wanted to cure schizophrenia by the time he was 25 so he clearly wanted to go into research and lab work

He went to Gideon’s lectures because he was interested and it was at that point that Gideon himself chose Reid to join the BAU when he was around 21/22 years old. I love Gideon, but this was one of the worst things he has ever done. This decision ruined Reid’s life and no one on the team seemed to question it

It’s important to establish that Reid went to Gideon’s lectures because he had an interest in profiling; that doesn’t mean being a profiler was his goal. He gained a BA in philosophy because he found it interesting but that doesn’t mean he wanted to be a philosopher, he’s intelligent, of course he will study things he is interested in because he can

So Reid joins the BAU, and it takes up all of his time. It takes over his entire life. He can’t meet people, and anyone he does meet is instantly in danger just by being associated with him. His only connections are with his older coworkers who all have lives and relationships away from him. He’s in his early 20s and he can’t have any life experiences, his childhood and teenage years were taken from him but now his early adulthood is being taken away too

@mindfullycriminal brought up a really good point on one of my posts which was a moment in season 2, where Reid says to Gideon ‘it’s all I was groomed for. I don’t know how to do anything else.’ He is 25 years old at this point, his life has been endangered multiple times, he’s been kidnapped and drugged and killed and brought back to life. He needs to escape but he can’t, because he’s trapped in this job. He’s done it from such a young age that he has forgotten how to do anything else

Do you know how tragic that is? This is a man who could learn anything he wanted in just a day, who could collect degrees like stamps yet this job has made it so that he has lost the ability to function unless he’s a profiler.

The word ‘groomed’ is really interesting because it gives insight into the fact that the FBI took advantage of him and his interest from a young age; they took him for his intelligence and didn’t once consider the effects this would have on someone so young. They put him into a job that would take over his entire life to the point where he couldn’t leave the job even if he wanted to, because he has become reliant on it

Later, when he’s 30, we see him talking to Emily and he has so many regrets. He talks about how he wanted to do more with his life, about how he wanted to cure schizophrenia by 25 but he’s not even been able to touch that research because he’s given his life to the BAU. He of course doesn’t leave after this, because he doesn’t know how. He has no identity anymore. His entire life since he was barely into adulthood has been this job to the point where he’s SSA Dr Spencer Reid and nothing else. He’s no one’s boyfriend or husband, no one’s father, he can only be his mother’s son when his cases take him to Vegas. The only thing he knows how to be is an agent and without it he’s nothing

Then by season 15, he has been poisoned, shot twice, kidnapped twice, held hostage multiple times, his girlfriend, his one chance of being normal, was killed in front of him and he’s been imprisoned. His character becomes a shell of itself. He’s done, when he gets kidnapped by the cult he doesn’t even try to fight them anymore, he doesn’t even seem scared. He’s spent almost half of his life in a job which has slowly killed him when he could have been following his dreams and having normal life experiences. Everyone saw this happening to him and no one questioned it, they just expected more and more from him and then got standoffish when he would act out because of it

The BAU were a family and they did their best to protect him, but he was a child who should have been finding his own family, he spent 40 years of his life having his life planned out for him and he deserved to get away and make his own path for once

My headcanons of the Reluctant Follower unmasked back in the day vs now :3 Valerie (2019) and Vanessa (2021) + Rare human art

Imma be real I was a bit disappointed at the Vanny is Vanessa twist because off how it got spoiled already by SteelWool and stuff but I'm fine with it now!!! But oughhh rip my old Vanny design you will be my oc now!! I think I was just bummed because they kept hinting at it and like the first human character revealed and the enemy being a furry is like huh istg if she ends up being the security guard... I think I wouldn't have mind if Ness had more screentime tbh!!

So back then I hoped Vanny was separate from Vanessa and they both had similar names so Glitchtrap wanted to frame Nessie for the murders due to it. Same with Glam Freddy and Greggy think it was Vanessa who was the bad guy at first like gasps Vanessa + Bunny = Vanny!! Also they're both fake blondes and dye their hair often!! (There's more to it but I'd end up rambling)

First time drawing textured hair digitally I hope to improve more on it in the future because oughh Vanny deserves it!!!

RR!AU Why Vox Sponsors the Resort

Something I was gently afraid of when I posted my Reverse/Reset Resort AU was the whole thing coming off as a fix-it/Vox apologist AU... which I won't deny, one of the motivations was to explore how he would be viewed when presented as a "heroic"/good guy pedastal in the narritive. Similar to canon Alastor-- he's morally grey, we don't know exactly what he wants, and is an otherwise "bad guy" on the side of the hero for now. That said! I do deeply adore Vox's mean, cold, evil side.

His "business motivation" for sponsoring Charlie in this AU can be easily written off as a tsundere farce for wanting to be redeemed, but when he contracted with Lucifer, he most definitely, verbatim, used the words "business" and "hotel/resort".

Because that's exactly how Vox sees it. He's a business shark and always wants to be at the top in terms of power-- so yes, he had to give some stuff up(the Vees had to dissolve publically, soul insurance), but what's business without a bit of risk taking? And hey, he got the jump on this opportunity...because you know what sounds like power?

Deciding who gets to enter the pearly gates or not.

So, I do think one faucet here plays on the rumor that when Vox was a human he was a cult leader. It really feels like a God thing to be able to control who gets redeemed or not. So yes, he sold his soul to Lucifer to help Charlie with her hotel/resort. Not her DREAM. Vox is helping her to redeem Sinners, but he never specified to do it philanthropically/like a charity.

He isn't treating redemption as anything more than a product: Sinners are just consumers, statistics and numbers, and all the more proven because there's evidence that ascending/desending between Hell/Heaven is possible(even though the latter hasnt been concretely proven yet, it's enough for him to do business with).

I'm sure Charlie in this AU is wary of Vox, but she doesn't understand or know the full extent of what he's planning. She doesn't have that shark mind to jump straight to the end point and what rewards are to be reaped.

Also, in light of mentioning them: The Vees are important in this AU! They might not be the polycule powerhouse /j as we know in canon, but they are too good of a dynamic to ignore! And they're next on my list to design after I finish Alastor and Vaggie.

Prologue | Last part | Next part | CaptainX2 Page 3

DONNIE!!!

He's trying to figure out whether his brother has gone crazy or not

What is Raph yapping about? I guess we'll find out soon...

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

Rewatched V for Valentine-Detta for the first time.....after a year😭 (not really, I just watched the scene where Tina was about to stink bomb the restaurant for.....you'll see🙂)

And I found this! I'm starting to sob now🙂

let's talk BL manga lore; on grooming, identity, and racism

spoilers for the official captain laserhawk bl manga ofc, plus brief discussion of grooming I've refrained from speaking about it because of spoilers, but it's been well over a month and I believe that it's time to openly discuss it. if you would still like to read the manga before reading this discussion, here's the link to buy a physical copy and you can search up 'Captain Laserhawk: Crushing Love' in your digital book store for it. okay time to talk about two, basically three subjects; racism, identity, and grooming. i'm starting with the grooming first, because that's the main focus of this manga. i would have to preface this by saying i've already discussed this topic in an earlier post (albeit it is a prediction, but it is a spot on prediction.) i'll briefly elaborate on it right now with what we know.

dolph's very first day with alex was carefully calculated to where dolph would be exposed to the world, but heavily rely on alex. he is shown around to alex's friends and is able to buy his own clothes, but it is under the heavy scrutiny of alex. alex ultimately decides what dolph wears, alex decides how the day goes, alex leads dolph. even when they have a beach day, take note of how alex holds dolph, dragging him around.

even the romance and the events leading up to when alex takes dolph's virginity are calculated. note how alex grasps dolph's hand, grabbing on tight enough to almost press down on his knuckles, loosening his hand, making dolph relinquish control. the context for the fight page is that after their sweet lil beach day, alex takes dolph down an alley where alex knows that he'll come across people who aren't the fondest of him. this event was calculated, alex knew it was going to happen, and he used it to test out his new lil boytoy.

also, alex taking dolph out to fight isn't just so he can get in the pants of a barely 18 year old. while holloway notes during this flashback that adrenaline is the greatest aphrodisiac, this is a test to see how good the new weapon he picked up is. how the new boy works, to see how eden's boy robot can benefit his group, not just him. its literally in the morning panels we get where alex talks with that woman, anna. they're talking about how loaded he is with tech, and while alex does consider that, he still actively thirsts over dolph.

also im jus saying if i personally was talking with one of my greatest confidants and they refer to someone i'm thirsting over as KID, i would personally be icked out. i would have a conscious and not do some weird shit, like literally refer to dolph in passing as kid in the next page. dolph aint even the first one who alex has done this shit to, as evident by this line by one of his friends, grace.

alex is a groomer and groomed dolph, case closed.

anyways! time to get on with what i really wanted to talk about, how racism and loss of idenity ties into dolph's character!

in this manga, during pillow talk between dolph and alex, we get dolph's backstory. dolph literally has only known this man for a day and he's giving him lore because alex treats him more normal than eden did. god. ANYWAYS ENOUGH DWELLING ON DOLPH BEING A VICTIM IN ALL WAYS INCLUDING BEING ONE OF THE OXFORD STUDY, we get to know about his brief life before eden took him in.

now let me turn for a moment to the show, and how we were told about dolph's backstory. this is VASTLY different than what we got in the show, with it being implied that dolph's parents were a white prostitute and a darkskinned immigrant man. this adds onto the idea that this supposedly impoverished, crack addicted boy came into this world not as an act of love, but as a mistake. not just a mistake though, his parents are supposedly the epitome of immoral, a prostitute and a criminal. not to mention that this also ties into the idea of the uncultured brown man and pure white woman, basically a racist idea that the scary immigrants who aren't like us good white christian americans (and honestly jus any homogenous group in general, though in america its ofc more applicable to white people), are corrupting our mother marys, our women. eden takes on this perspective in order to subconsciously frame in the minds of post american viewers the idea of this man as an other that they are helping and didn't at all snatch up from his mother for child experimentation. the concept of other is something that finds it's origins in fascism, and in order to mask the presence of said fascism, someone who is seen as apart of the other is given a seat at the table with the collective us, (as in the majority, or the ones that are supposedly superior), and will ultimately serve as an example of why the other are labelled as such. i go into this more with my rayman analysis. I brought up the specific portrayal of dolph's backstory from eden's documentary to showcase how eden has manipulated the view people have of this man. eden has not only manipulated the view of the in universe audience, but eden has manipulated our view.

in the propaganda documentary, we are shown photos of this man being a captain, someone of relatively high rank in the military. you can't even normally earn that through having an education, you'd have to have years of experience. he's portrayed as older than he is.

another thing, dolph fans, let's be honest with ourselves; before the manga, it was not uncommon to headcanon that man as a FREAK. with both the supposed images of dolph at a nightclub and the flashback of alex and dolph meeting outside a club, it wasn't too hard to think that the hottest man alive in that show who was fully born human was a freak. a sexual deviant. someone that a christian mother would be horrified enough by that she faints. the manga however, shows us that dolph really isn't any of that. hell, he didn't even get to go to a club before he met alex. in reality, he's around 18 years and his only sexual experience is his groomer.

say that again with me, he's around 18. he's just around 18, he's a young adult, and the environment he's grown up in has stunted him by treating him as a subject, a thing, cutting him off from anything that would humanise this child by not allowing him to see his mother. hell, even his childhood best friend serves eden by being the one in his ear, having him at her beck and call all in the name of eden.

we get none of dolph's true backstory in the show for any number of reasons. maybe it's on purpose, maybe it's a result of having to possibly cut down episodes, who knows? what matters though is that this adds a layer to the core problem defining dolph's life; the perspective others have on him warping who he is.

back to the pages with dolph's memories of his mother, we see dolph as he was when he was just a boy. he's his mama's boy, her son, a child. even when eden takes him in, he stubbornly clings to that bit of him that's pure, untainted by the idea of him being an experiment, a tool. this bit of him, this hint towards who he is supposed to be as a person, is something he clings to desperately. it leads him to follow eden's orders again because they promise that they've found his mother.

and yknow what happened with who dolph was told was supposedly his mother?

she was just a random ass indian woman.

wasn't even the right woman. they just used his identity issues because he's indian, and she was indian and in a cult that eden needed to take care of.

this, while admittedly is kind of funny, (like the confusion is funny in the moment look at ts) is actually fucked up crazy racism. they literally said that this random ass woman who happened to be indian was his mother like HELL!?!??!?!?

this insane fr. lucy didn't even double check LIKE GIRL THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FRIEND'S MOTHER WHO HE HASNT SEEN SINCE HE WAS LIKE 6 AND YOU DIDNT EVEN DOUBLE CHECK IF SHE'S THE RIGHT PERSON?!?!?!?

moving on from that, this actually brings up a deeper layer of dolph's identity issues; the lack of cultural identity.

i want to preface this by saying that i am not entirely sure if this is the right term for this identity issue nor am i claiming to be an expert on the type of identity crisis that i am about to discuss. that being said, this specific disconnect of cultural identity that dolph has is actually reminiscent of those adopted from other countries, or transnational adoptees. there seems to be a need within these adoptees to find out more about their own heritage or their own mothers and families that they now struggle to find. while dolph does not actively go out to reconnect with his heritage, he does exhibit desires to find his birth mother. this type of identity issue seems to ask the question of 'what could I have been if...?,' and it tends to mess with the idea of the self. adoptees that struggle with this question hold a desire to go back, to almost reclaim what would have been. yes, dolph is not adopted into a family, but he is still a child under the care of eden, which became like his family, which is why i believe that this kind of identity issue could reasonably be applied to dolph. it explains why he does what he does in the manga, and how it's ultimately wrapped up by him losing this desire and moving forward. albeit he moves forward by alex instead becoming his main purpose, but this serves as the first chain of the past that he leaves behind. with this, he severs a tie that would have made him continue to be stuck under eden's control, and possibly find himself. he answers the question of what could have been with 'it doesn't matter anymore.'

but actually, he doesn't answer that question. he leaves it be.

i am reading way too into this tho lol. i would say that he doesn't explicitly say it, and that we do see a lack of dolph's past being used against him in that way because dolph has freed himself from that part, but in reality, it's because eden can't pull the same trick twice. im aware that the manga focuses HARD on dolph's grooming, but i feel like they really could have properly wrapped up dolph's identity arc with his mother if it was acknowledged at the end, but i fear we are left unsatisfied. that's one of my gripes with the manga. it gives us things that tie up loose ends, but some of these ties have entirely missed the holes they were supposed to secure. but what is done is what's done, and here we are.

tl;dr, dolph was groomed by alex. dolph's identity has also been warped by eden heavily, by how they dehumanised him as a child to be a weapon internally, to how he's shown to the public to be a case that they've saved, and yet he still becomes something that is "disgraceful." textbook example of this poor boy that we have saved that is actually jus like all the others that we know. dolph also suffers under similar identity issues as adopted children do, and this specific issue of his is let go in order to allow him to begin moving on and finding himself.

as always, im open to discussion and critique! my askbox is open as well if you want me to yap abt smth else in the show :P

I love seeing people compare music to their favourite characters and go like 'oh yeah this verse might be this character... and then this one is the other one... and then this little bit here is them both honestly. Or something like that' because I HAVE gone through every taylor swift song on evermore and folklore and compared it to skk. Sorry to be autistic on the writing account, but this is a fanfic writing account and I'm writing my second novel length fic about them so what did you expect.

folklore/evermore are very canon skk, and verge into fanon and some songs are the reason for very specific head canons, or some of the ways I write the way they perceive each other. 1989... DON'T GET ME STARTED OMFG HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO BLANK SPACE? I THINK IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO NOT HAVE AND OMG IT'S SO SKK CODED LIKE WTF. I HAVE VERY FIRM OPINIONS ABOUT WHICH LYRICS ARE THEIRS. Also the vault tracks literally exist what more do you want from me. 'i think about jumping off of very tall somethings just to see you come running and say the one thing I've been wanting' okay dazai pack it up you did that already, beast exists. 'i call my mom sister she said that it was for the best remind myself the more i gave you'd want me less' yeah yeah chuuya we know he left you get over it, it wasn't personal(think that line could go for either of them but the other line 'the way you faded till i left' feels more Dazai personally). Plus suburban legends. For personal reasons I struggle to listen to song without SPIRALING FUCK YOU THAT ONE PERSON SEHDHSSJNS but very skk as well 'we were born to be national treasures' is very soulmates of them. And out of the woods screams them in fanfic when they try to get better. Red, straight away all too well. They both remember it all too well. All too well skk cover with switching vocals anyone? The last time. The one with gary lightbody. Underrated song, is my favourite on that album, and SO THEM. 'this is the last time you tell me ive got it wrong, this is the last time i wont hurt you anymore' because they're fated to be together and are constantly drawn to each other and yet keep HURTING EACH OTHER RAGH. also 'we are never getting back together' is pretty funny and nice when applied to them. also state of grace. any taylor song with a mild drop of religious imagery is them cause yeah. but 'i never saw you coming, and I'll never be the same'... okay pack it up, we don't have time for your yearning. 'you were never a saint' (dazai abt chuuya) 'and i loved in shades of wrong' (bc hes toxic and doesnt know how to healthily like people) 'we learned to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts' (bc they continue anyway and stick it out, living with the pain of being bad for each other because of how deeply they care). I almost do. Dazai after leaving. moving on to more religion, holy ground. 'for the first time i had something to lose' 'and i guess we fell apart in the usual way, and the storys got dust on every page' AAAAAA IT'S THEM. Can't really speak on debut- but I've listened to our song and picture to burn and if picture to burn isn't a vengeful chuuya idk what is. BOY OH BOY SPEAK NOW.

excuse me. one moment.

Mine- literally a skk au

Sparks fly- 'the way you move is like a rainstorm and im a house full of cards, you're the kind of reckless that should send me running' that entire verse screams dazai's fascination with corrupted chuuya, and the whole song is well yeah

back to december- dazai when they reunite just trust me on it just trust me on it. the repetition was intentional, that's how serious i am. 'i go back to december all the time' 'I got back to december to make it all right'

speak now- might just be me but it really makes me think of teen skk in fanfic harbouring urges to ruin the others relationship for 'some reason. I don't know, seeing him with her just... irks me'.

the story of us- first verse is chuuya, second verse is dazai, and the third is them both because they're LOSERS and they LOVE EACH OTHER and FUCK I'm CRYING NOW. 'id tell you i miss you but i don't know how' EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BASTARD.

enchanted- self explanatory. for more context, i really think it's from dazai's pov in this case, could probably be both, but dazai fell first and harder so it's really like god he's been in love ever since he got kicked into that wall he wants him around forever. He held Chuuya's hand in the fight with rimbaud and then had all those close moments in the manga and went home to lie on his bed kicking his feet and giggling don't lie. (god im still crying this isn't helping)

better than revenge- they're both pretty vengeful idk it makes me think of iwsynttr for some reason

haunted- chuuya pov. 'i thought i had you figured out, something's gone terribly wrong' 'stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had' they're so sad, but the general idea of chuuya thinking he has figured out dazai and knowing how he thinks and then dazai just leaves suddenly and he's like 'Wow! I thought i knew you. How do i forget this'. 'wont finish what you started' bringing chuuya into the mafia then leaving it.

last kiss- 'you told me you love me so why did you go away' chuuya pov again oh god it hurts why am i doing this to myself? 'never imagined we'd end like this, your name, forever the name on my lips' yep yep ow.

LONG LIVE.- LISTEN. TO. THE. SONG. AND TELL ME IT'S NOT DAZAI AND CHUUYA. I COULD DO A WHOLE ANALYSIS ON JUST THIS SONG. 'promise me this, that you'll stand by me forever, but if god forbid fate should step in, and force us into a goodbye...please tell them my name, tell them how the crowds went wild, tell them how i hope they shine, long live the walls we crashed through, i had the time of my life with you' FUCK IT'S DAZAI AN HE'S IN LOVE WITH CHUUYA AND DOESNT KNOW ODAS GONNA DIE YET, JUST THINKS HE DOESNT GET TO KEEP ANYTHING HE WANTS. FUUUUUCK. THEY'RE IN LOVE AND DAZAI WANTS IT REMEMBERED PLEASE I'M SO SAD.

anyway, i can't pretend I'm normal about skk anymore i haven't even covered fearless, reputation, lover or midnights please somebody encourage me to actually write full things dedicated to each album and the most fitting songs from said albums please i'll do it and plus i need to actually gather proof for my autism diagnosis appointment so this would be a good way to to that probably. anyway yeah this'll never make it out my drafts lol

I don't really block people and it takes a lot to get me to finally unfollow someone, in part because it's just easier to keep following and in part because I don't want to just create an echo chamber and not think critically about my beliefs. However. Some people really are testing me. Some people seem to have been put on this earth with the sole purpose of making my blood pressure rise. I cannot tell how many of these guys are posting in bad faith or if they truly do think like that.