hey google, how do you make life altering decisions that might possibly ruin your life but are absolutely necessary for your healing process and also the morally correct thing to do?

What an absolute wreck of a day.

Time to disassociate with my emotional support Remedy guys.

thought I was recovering okay but 🙃 had a conversation today and now 🙃 I am overwhelmed with rage 🙃 I’m fine it’s fine everything is fine 🙃

Guilty gear fandom misogyny is so incredibly frustrating

Like you can pick any boy out of the roster and the entire fanbase is probably falling over themselves to hype them up; people pop off for their associated players' gameplay, they construct elaborate fan media that brings out the intricacies of the characters and shows off their best points, and won't take no for an answer if someone claims to not find them maddeningly attractive

But then with the girls, at best nobody cares about them besides the dedicated superfans, and at worst literally every other player only speaks the character's name to complain. They'll get nothing but vapid pinup fanart with no regard for character, if they're even on the radar at all. Whenever one of the female characters gets a buff or a player makes a good tournament run, everyone stops what they're doing to complain for a month, until they go back to largely ignoring them again. And then whenever a patch brings a new boy people convince themselves is cool, or gives an existing one significant buffs, half the players on a female character drop her to switch. It's like clockwork.

Also for some reason every male character has people headcanoning them as trans in both directions, regardless of anything about their actual characterization, but none of the not-canonically-transfem girls really get that kind of fan attention, which is disappointing. Except that one artist who thinks elphelt should be transmasc.

I think the only guilty gear girl to escape this is Bridget, by dint of being a little sweetie pie. But she's still like a purely auxiliary character to the canon, so there's not a ton to talk about besides decade old discourse, and she's underdeveloped at a top level, with the only notable reps being players who use her to try and scam opponents out of a few games before switching to their real mains once they drop one themselves. Like despite her popularity among casual fans there's still no daru for Bridget

And honorable mention to season 2 baiken, who attracted a lot of upper level players who were unsatisfied with their mains at the time, who then nearly unanimously dropped her for John or sin in S3 when it became apparent that it wasn't as easy to win with her as they initially thought

it is so so hard not to vaguepost sometimes. but i mustn't. it is unbecoming

get that guy away from isat

Good things: I've been invited to partake in a certain exhibit regarding a certain author since I've had the privilege of illustrating the covers for the UK edition of a certain fantasy series.

Not so good things: I've lost most of the scans for the 8 illustrations (I think I only have 3? 4?) so that means I need to figure out WHERE I stashed the originals. I know I HAVE them, so that's some comfort. But I have so many stashes. And it's been... 10+ years and two moves. On top of that, they may need retouching. Fun times!

A minor "conundrum": I finally need to decide where I would like to offer said illustrations for print. I have a society6, but it is rather dusty these days. That aside, the print quality seems pretty decent (I have not seen with my own actual eyes, but considering I've yet to hear otherwise, I'd say they go over well.) That said, if anyone has opinions/experiences on print on demand storefronts, I'd love to hear them. I'll say in advance I would prefer to not handle printing them myself. If you know, you know.

So yeah: Things! Winged horses abound, and the search for my old art begins. If you are a fan of the old Green Rider series illustrations, watch this space?

it really, really sucks how people are all "support selfshippers! heck yeah! cringe culture is dead!" until someone (gasp) Dares To Have Boundaries... people love to treat discomfort with sharing f/os like it's something that can be controlled. like, you're right, my bad, I forgot I can just press a switch that instantly makes all my discomfort go away! I forgot it was that easy! 🤯

I'm sorry, I'm just so Tired. I don't understand why people treat it as such a big deal, but I guess it's easier to ridicule others than respect their boundaries. man, what has happened to this community?

fellow non-sharing selfshippers, I love you. your f/os love you. we're in this together 🫂❤️

Hey psst the genre of post that's like "if I get x number of notes I'll practice self care/stop self harming/not commit suicide/etc" is (a) very bad for people with OCD and (b) also bad for you, by resting your mental health and well being on thousands of internet rather than actually putting in work to get better.

If you're capable of practicing self care/stopping self harm/not committing suicide/etc when you get x notes, you're capable of it now. Just try to get better, don't rely on internet clout for your well being jfc.

Trust me, I know it's difficult to do all of those things. But it's also going to be difficult when you hit your goal of notes. That doesn't magically make things better. All it will achieve is making you feel worse about yourself if you don't hit your goal, and guilt tripping everyone who sees the post.

Happy pride to that one transboy who responded to my “happy pride month” message in my university’s queer discord server with “ugh pride month is kinda gross it has become too commercialized”

Its been 3 years and I hope he’s in a better place mentally

listen okay i hate babies ever after as much as anyone i hate the heteroification of gay couples i hate the 'destiel are jack's dads' dynamic i hate it all. however. i do think midam are the exception and hear me out i think theyre the exception because staying home raising kids and general housewifing would be an IDEAL outcome for michael. and i've said it before like the whole 'he can basically do whatever he was doing in heaven but on a smaller less destructive scale and he has someone who actually loves and supports him while doing so' thing would probably be good for him but i also think he'd be absolutely thrilled at. 'hehehe adam will go out and have a little job and earn little paychecks and i'll be here in our little house making little meals for our little kids' it's like playing dolls for him like he could go out and do whatever but no he wants to colour code their daughters' linen cabinets instead and make hidden veggie pasta sauce. it's so low stakes compared to what he had to think about before but also similar enough in terms of micromanage-yness that it's theraputic. michael's happily ever after is becoming one of those 'packing lunch for my 12 kids' people on tiktok except there's no thinly-veiled burnout or resentment because he only really holds resentment towards his dad's kids (i.e. the other angels) for existing. not adam's! it's also great for everyone else because he's nerfed beyond all measure and won't destroy the world because child three has a cello recital on friday and it'd make her sad if he blew the universe up before then

babygirl if you knew how many homewrecker fantasies I daydream about on a daily basis it's gonna be so over

*THIS IS NOT A VAGUE POST ABOUT ANYONE, THIS IS JUST A GENERAL COMMENT.*

something i think that the entire byler fandom as a whole really needs to understand is that. we are not all going to agree. there is never going to be a consensus. if you see a headcanon you don't agree with, that doesn't automatically mean that the person is terrible and needs to be flooded with hate . it just means that it's a headcanon that you don't personally vibe with !! and that's ok.

ive just been seeing so much of this lately; people being sent hate because they have different opinions. if i don't like someone's vibe ? i just block them. it's easy. but like. fandom is supposed to be fun. some of yall just need to take a step back and breathe for a second because not all headcanons/theories/analysis you see and personally disagree with are terrible and awful

bottom line: guys. please chill out.

why do I peek in and see rando white ea creator #1000 posting early access hair, with puffs in the back and straight hair on top. no, not slicked back in a way that could be realistic, but slightly loose white person hair on top leading into 4c puffs. with edges that don't match at all and look COMPLETELY wrong like they never seen a black person before. you literally just took a white ea hair and slapped puffs on the back. stop charging for that u goofy.

Can I ask some lore about your project? 😗

I was really interested in what it is and what it is eaten with

*goes feral*

Ah yes, of course I can share some details with you about our lovely little project.

First off, (not necessarily lore,) it is heavily in development, and we have a discord server with like 6 amazing people (mostly artists) helping me make the show a reality.

In said show we are planning to discuss various harsh topics and discuss many ongoing issues within life and the child upbringing, adding many colorful and musical themes to go along with such dark themes. Do not mistake this for a depressing show, for it all has a light and beautiful purpose. This is being created to comfort and help children, though an older audience will be expected and cared for; as long as it’s not at the expense of the children, of course. Perhaps a more appropriate version of DHMiS, if you are chronically online.

I have been approached by several people that insist I make it much more like Welcome Home or DHMIS, of which is still being considered.

Mr. Smith is a heavy bit of the lore, both being one of the mains and one of my first characters written. (He did indeed have a love interest being written, but he was scrapped; much to Mr. Smiths dismay.) not all of our characters have been posted about or announced, so keep an eye out for them!

The lore is awfully vague and hidden, due to the fact that I want it to come out with a bang and be a fresh new beginning; the likes of which people haven’t seen. I apologize deeply for my vagueness.

It is eaten with breadcrumbs and a 52 year old polish cheese, but only if it has been blessed by a goat. (but it is not goat cheese.)

I hope you stick around, we have much more coming your way!!!

—Van Vana