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iznsfw · 8 months

Text

Drunken

Loossemble's Son Hyeju x Male Reader Smut

19,012 words

Categories | cheating, longtimecrush!Hyeju, mutual feelings, drunk sex, daddy kink (and daddy issues), fingering, squirting, titfucking, anal, choking

Thank you for commissioning! Researched for the fic, ended up falling in love with Son Hyeju. Please give this a chance and read this for the story, too, and not only the smut. I indulged too much in this.

The relationship Hyeju and OC have is very much inspired by the one Cassy and Rob have in In the Woods by Tana French. Read it, please. Was amazing. The story was also written with someone I'm currently so in love with in mind, but we're not going to talk about that here.

And no, there's never enough daddy kink stories :P

“This is not fair,” the two of you say the very second you step into your shared dorm.

Two papers in two hands of two people that show two scores that aren’t up to par for the two’s standards. You and Hyeju were always meant to be a dynamic duo: peas in a pod in every way possible, and that includes academic success and failure. It’s like there’s a kind of telepathic force between you that sends the other down with you, too. It’s too late to try and cut the connection when you’ve known Hyeju all your life, a wish that’s beyond reality for plenty of the boys at Idalso.

The dorm is clean. Mostly. You’ve done your best to tidy up the pile of clothes at the end of Hyeju’s bunk bed and she’s done the same for the relatively empty bags of chips you haven’t stopped the habit of laying around, but there’s still the telltale signs that if Hyeju isn’t organized, you aren’t either. Printed drafts of your thesis lay crumpled on the floor. Her posters are minutes away from falling off the poorly painted walls. The air-conditioner doesn’t work as well as it did in your freshman year when your rowdiness outdoors—knocking into each other, trying to race to the door and ending up messing up the other’s clothes that were ironed in a rush—isn’t as compensating.

Today, the rowdiness is lost. It gets translated into rough groans that follow you on the way to the dorms.

That’s when you realize it.

You and Hyeju look at each other. Both of your pairs of eyes widen.

“Miss Ha failed your test?” she asks, normally bored pupils widening in disbelief.

“Miss Ha failed my test.”

“No erasure rule?”

“No erasure rule.”

“Oh my god.”

Ball up the paper and shoot it in the air. It adds to the numerous pieces of parchment on the floor. You kick the rest of them in the air while your roommate slumps on her bed and groans.

“Fuck this,” you say, hands on your head. There comes the urge to tear all your hair out and leave it at that damned professor’s door, blood and all, to make her at least feel a miniscule bit of remorse for failing you. You didn’t deserve that. You studied and studied and she still had to implement that stupid rule.

Hyeju catches a wrinkled and crumpled paper globe. Her sui generis lips release a soft sigh. “At least we have thesis confetti,” she says sullenly.

“I’m dropping out,” you declare. You’re surprised at how serious you sound. Normally you’d say it just to get a laugh out of yourself, but now you’re actually considering doing it.

“If you drop out, I’m dropping out, too,” she answers, looking at you spitefully. “And then who’s going to take care of Daniel?”

Think of Daniel. He isn’t your roommate but he’s gotten close with you and Hyeju the past few years. “His inheritance is what’s gonna take care of him. Did you forget he’s rich as shit?”

“Oh, right. How could I forget about him?”

You start picking up the papers of your drafts faster and knocking them harder into the wall. Why are you doing that? Nope, don’t have an answer to that. There’s a fiery rage inside you that Hyeju’s latest sentence is the arsonist of.

“The fuck are you doing?” she asks in amusement. There’s a hint of disgust on her face. “Calm down. What’re you, my dad or something?”

“S-sorry.” You know the whole deal she has with her dad. You have to stop—thus, drop the balls of papyrus from your hand. “It was just… I don’t know why I did that.”

Maybe you do. Can’t be about the test though it’s why you started throwing a thesis tantrum.

“Chill out, dude.” She pats your shoulder and gives you a pouty look. “If you want to play strict dad with me: no, I don’t like Daniel. If I did, I would have sat on his lap and said,” she assumes a high voice and flutters her eyelashes at you, leaning on your side, “‘Let me help you with that, darling. I’ll do the dishes, too! Or maybe you want to put a baby in me while I squeeze the soap on your di—’”

“Stoooop!”

Throw a pillow at her. She dodges it and sticks her tongue out at you. Oh yeah. How could you forget that she plays dodgeball with the friend who’s taken up the topic of your conversation?

Oh god, shouldn’t have reminded yourself that Hyeju and your other friend hang out. You’re feeling weird again.

“Earth to daddy, Earth to daddy,” she says, snapping her fingers in front of your face. “Li’l shit, what’s gotten into you?”

You’re feeling something again. It creeps into your heart and tugs at its strings, just like how your roommate loves to tie knots in yours and watch you struggle around trying to walk with them. That’s how it felt when she called you that. It’s not the first time she took on a roleplaying banter with you yet that specific title has you hot.

You need to take a walk. Take a walk to somewhere that doesn’t have you in a place where you could easily pin Son fucking Hyeju to the wall and kiss her till the heat subsides.

Walking is your only exercise. You care not for the gyms and weights—why pressure yourself with those when you could just go for a simple walk? An hour is already sufficient enough to burn the breakfast. Only downside is that you get quite hungry afterwards, and though you don’t care for counting calories either, you’re pretty sure the food you have after your strolls is more than the amount you burned.

Actually, you could think of another downside: Hyeju doesn’t join you. She’s a homebody. A couch potato. A living pillow. She prefers to lounge at the dorm and play games instead of going out. She rarely comes along, which is why you’re guaranteed a few hours of isolation.

When you take into consideration that it isn’t isolation if tentative feelings accompany you, you’re partly glad Hyeju didn’t come along.

“Hey, is that you?”

You smile. There he is. You always pass by the apartments this time, and the old man who owns it is one of the few people you’re fond of. Being friends with a landlord wasn’t on your college bingo card, but you’re glad it happened. He’s kind, has white hair that almost matches the color of the spaces he owns, and a mouth that can simultaneously be like that of a sailor’s and a doting grandfather.

“Hi, mister Kim.”

“Hi there yourself,” he chirps. His smile is bright. Can’t say the same about the flickering bulb back in your dorm. “Where’s your girlfriend?”

Red colors your cheeks. “Hyeju’s not my girlfriend.”

“Never said she was.” He winks.

The explosion of scarlet first starts at your ears. He got you. But it isn’t exactly you to blame—everyone likes to push you and your girl best friend together. The old man knows what he’s doing. He just likes to toy around with you.

“Mister Kim, don’t be like that,” you say. Scratch the back of your neck.

“I’ll be however the hell I want,” he replies, crossing his arms t in a friendly stance. “You two’re always glued to each other.”

“We’re just friends, sir.”

“Just friends my ass. Whenever that girl visits me, she’s always talking about you. It’s like you’re the only thing on her mind.”

That revelation was so out of nowhere, yet you welcome it. You like knowing that Hyeju, the girl you adore, adores you just as much. It’s the mutual feeling of fondness that keeps you breathing.

“T-that doesn’t mean anything,” you say humbly. You’re somewhat right—just because Hyeju hides the truth that she drones on about you doesn’t mean she has a crush on you. You’ve seen and met her exes, and even back then they’re miles more charming than you.

“Wanna bet?”

“I’m broke—”

“No, no. Not in that way.” He shakes his head. “If you and Hyeju actually end up together, I’m letting you live in one of my apartments for free.”

“Mister Kim—”

“Think about it for your old man, will you?”

With that, he shows you a knowing smile and turns his back. Nothing more is said.

Just so it’s clear for everyone who comes across this story of yours: you don’t love Son Hyeju.

Anyone and everyone says the opposite. They treat you and her like famed characters on a popular teen show, pairing you up with each other and tearing off all hesitancy about thinking that they might be going too far.

But now you’re here to make a stand against those falsehoods: contrary to popular belief, Son Hyeju isn’t the love of your life, and although you’ve been friends for so long people’d expect you walked into kindergarten class with your hand in hers, it’s completely platonic between the two of you.

There are no feelings. No speck of a disgusting yearning in your hearts despite the late night stroll you had to take to stop your wistful thoughts. No sir. Hyeju doesn’t love you that way, and neither do you. It’s simple.

Doesn’t seem that simple when you wake up in the dorm with what’s supposed to be a groan that folds itself back down your throat when you see her curled up in the other bed, blankets splayed and curled around her. No makeup on, except for lip balm she smears around her triangle-shaped mouth when they get chapped. No care for how she looks in the air (doesn’t matter when that’s the way you like it, the way she likes it). She lies there with slumber that could only be induced by an unmerciful college.

You’re glad you have her while you’re battered by the same cause of her sleep.

You try to be silent but her eyes open anyway. Her eyes are squinted, and she kind of looks like an emoticon as she pers around. She doesn’t know when or where she is. Grin because neither do you sometimes, but now that you hold that knowledge, you share it with her.

“Earth to Hyeju, Earth to Hyeju.” Echo her words from last night and resound them back to her.

“Earth?” she groans. “Wake me up when Idalso sends me to Mars.”

Yeah, that’s the Hyeju you know. The Hyeju you love.

(Huh? Where did that come from?)

“I’ll go with you. Could use miss Jeong not trying to kill me.”

Hyeju runs a hand through her hair groggily and smiles sweetly. “Maybe she should come along and go through with killing you if you don’t stop ‘forgetting’ to pay me that five thousand.”

“Cute. I’ll pay you later, I promise.” Rise to sling the blinds up, letting light five-thirty a.m. sun spill through the squares. “Catch some breakfast at McDonald’s before class?” you offer. She’s your usual companion in the morning—you’d split the bill (because “you’re broke, and I’m broke,” she said, “it’s only fair we try to stop being poor together”) and have a nice opening meal of egg and chicken nuggets.

“Sweetie, it’s Saturday today,” she reminds you. “Don’t you remember?” She looks up from her phone and smiles at you condescendingly, as if she knew how that friendly nickname causes your system to shut down.

You try not to show it. Try not to make it obvious that you turned your head to hide the fact that you were flustered. The fact that despite being only friends with her your chest still tightens at her casual pet names for you, like what she called you last night as well. It’s what friends do: joke with each other, call them unflattering names one second then sweet ones the next. The dorm has enough fans to keep the air circulated, and the sweat you broke last night is gone. So if that’s that, why do you feel so warm right now?

You wonder if Hyeju also feels the same heat in her stomach when you say, “Grandpa can’t remember things well anymore, darling. You’ve got to cut him some slack.”

“Wow, okay. That’s one way to put it, I guess.”

It’s lucky that it’s still dark enough for your red ears to be invisible. You hate it when you mess up your laid-back persona in front of Hyeju, the one you put up whenever you engage in these playful arguments. “Look,” you say, “do you want to get McDonald’s or not?”

“Can’t. Won’t. Shan’t. Too lazy.”

Your heart sinks. “Fine, I’ll just go to a café then. Still have that thesis to do.”

Hyeju lays back into the bed and shuts her eyes. She’s learned that when there’s a chance to sleep, she should take it. To you, it doesn’t look like she’ll let go of this one, even if rejecting it means eating together with you.

You put on a coat and some shoes, then turn away. Fine, let her be like that. What did you even expect? You can’t be her only priority in life. Sleep, of course, and rest should come first, especially if you’re a college student. You have to brush the hurt creeping in your heart and do your own thing, just like you’d let her do hers.

Don’t catch her eyes opening and lingering on you. Your back is turned and therefore doesn’t let you see it. But if only you did, you wouldn’t have been doubtful about your future concerns, all related to her.

This is a different story though. This isn’t a love story—if anything, it’s how a love story ends.

Just so it’s clear for everyone who comes across this story of yours: you don’t love Son Hyeju.

Yes, it bears repeating. Sometimes you need to say it again to convince yourself. Convince yourself that you’re not constantly in lectures wishing that it was her beside you instead of your groupmate. Convince yourself that your soul doesn’t shatter in pieces when she refuses to join you in anything.

Maybe you just need someone to talk it out with. Yes, that’s right. The whimsical yearning in your heart isn’t for Hyeju. You swear on it.

Oh, but you’ve never been very good at that.

“What’s going on? I came as quick as I could,” says Daniel. Yeah, that’s his name. It’s a common name that sounds foreign and unique, especially since he’s a transfer student who came from the U.S.. He has pale skin and brown eyes that are as kind as he is. You like him—he’s the only one you bother bearing besides Hyeju.

But this isn’t about her. You need to let go of her. What? “Let go of her”? Why do you think about her like you two were actually a thing?

“Nothing. Just… feelings.”

“Something happened?” He sits down and looks around confusedly. “Wait, where’s Hyeju?”

“That’s the thing,” you say as you smile tightly. “She’s what happened.”

Daniel’s not stupid. And even if we say that he was, he’s been your friend for two years. It’s short in comparison to your time with Hyeju, you know, but it remains impressive. You don’t have that many friends besides them. That, of course, eventually led to Hyeju and Daniel becoming friends with each other. That’s the reason for him catching your drift—he knows you like the back of his hand.

You order the third cheapest option on the list: an iced latte. Your friend opts for a croissant and some tea, something that reminds you that he isn’t actually from Korea. You often forget that when his Korean is more fluent than a native’s and he gels with other people so quickly. He’s an easy-going guy with everything flowing well for him.

“Let me guess: she did something?” he asks. Alright, close enough. His fingers drum a steady rhythm on the table while yours do so on your laptop keyboard.

“Yeah.” Shake your head immediately and contradictingly. What are you saying? “No. Yeah, probably. But I think it’s my fault.”

No, it isn’t a mere probability of it being your fault. It is your fault. Why are you placing expectations on Hyeju to show up for you? It isn’t on her that you get hurt when she doesn’t have the time or willpower to come along with you. So, why are you even bothering to talk about this? You should let this matter slide. Brush it under the carpet. Rewrite the news headlines. Whatever.

“Ah, couple’s quarrels,” Daniel says teasingly. He thanks the waiter for his croissant then takes a healthy bite into it. “Out of the honeymoon phase already?”

Should you be delighted that people think that she’s yours and you’re hers? You’re split between these two emotions—choose to be frustrated instead.

“Why does everybody think that we’re a couple?”

“Well.” Your friend twirls his teaspoon into the dainty cup. Drill your eyes on it. The café is simple and affordable to eat from, but the furniture and aesthetic make you think of it as a fancier place to eat it. “You’re always together.”

“That’s all?”

“Let me finish. When some guy has the balls to ask her out, she says she has a boyfriend. She shows him your profile and number. She goes, ‘My boyfriend wouldn’t be too happy about that.’”

The latte somehow doesn’t finish its journey through the straw. “She does?”

You’re split between two thoughts to go by again. You should be happy that your friend, a friend who’s a girl moreover (never confuse a friend who’s a girl with a girlfriend—ever), feels safe enough with you to refer to you as someone who’d protect her, whether from creeps or the aggressive dogs that patrol your college grounds. It takes real trust to call a guy who’s a friend (again, avoid the confusion) your boyfriend when the time requires it. This means she trusts you to come to her if she needs saving from an odd guy or an escape out of situations.

But at the same time, you wonder if that’s what you really are to her, what you’ll only ever be to her: a fake boyfriend. The guy friend who doesn’t mind being called a boyfriend because he knows his low place in her heart. Does Hyeju even look at you as someone who’s not just an acquaintance?

“Yeah,” Daniel says matter-of-factly. “She really likes having you around.”

You don’t need to think about it when you reply, softly: “I do, too.”

The two of you sit in silence you don’t know the source of. Daniel stops eating suddenly. Similarly, all the appetite is lost and you have to put your plastic cup of latte down before you throw it at the wall and ruin the dining experience for everyone else. No, this is your problem. You should deal with it before dragging anyone into it.

“So, why did you call me? What is it about Hyeju?”

Ah, what are you thinking? Daniel shouldn’t even be here. Why did you even call him over? You did and now you don’t know why you suddenly want to throw the contents of your plastic cup into his face. If you give in, you’d be feeding into the delusion that he’s the one standing between you and Hyeju.

That only leads to the second question of the day:

Why do you suddenly hate Daniel? Daniel is a nice guy. He doesn’t even make a move on her or disrespect her.

You don’t like these feelings. It’s causing you to think all sorts of nonsense about everybody else, not excluding Daniel, who hasn’t done anything wrong.

“I…” Sigh. This is the second time you’re finding an escape route so that you could be alone with your feelings. “I have to think about it. I need some time alone.”

“Oh, sure. Sorry about that.”

Hate how more guilt washes over your heart. See here, he doesn’t even protest or say something that might even be right, like tell you how you called him to come over in the first place or how there isn’t a good reason why he should leave. He simply wraps his croissant with a plastic he asked for at the counter and leaves, tea and all.

Great. Now you’re alone, like you usually are and always will be. Attempt to use it as a pro and work on your thesis. Type it all down on a Word document. Wait patiently, as you learned to, as your old laptop stops for the suffering you’ve caused it with the extra storage taken up by assignments. Contact your groupmates. Remind them to do their jobs.

It’s all going so well. That’s when she pulls up to the cafe you’ve been writing at with her hands perched on the wooden surface of your table, with the smirk that doesn’t ever leave without making sure it’s her certified look featured on her lips.

No need to mention names when there's only one girl who could make your world stop spinning.

You can’t stop staring, and it’s not even because she turned up out of nowhere. You’re always in a state of shock when Hyeju is around.

She never allows her hair to be restrained in a tight tail, so there she is with those luscious black locks spilling all over her shoulders. How she manages to look so cool and be the very person everyone wishes to be while having those soft cheeks only the evillest of people wouldn’t pinch you don’t know. Son Hyeju is cool and cute at the same time, somehow balancing those everyday without effort.

But you don’t love her. Just to remind everyone once again. No matter what happens, you have no feelings for her. And that’s that.

"Hey," she says, putting her weight on one arm. Then she curves down her head to peer at your screen. "Whatchu doin'?"

Immediately slam your laptop shut and look at her with annoyed eyes. Oh, why do you even try? You could never despise her. You could pray to god all night and day for you to hate Hyeju, to hate her to the ends of the Earth just to banish these strange feelings, and he wouldn't give in. Crazier and crazier her antics shall get and you'd remain loyal to her.

And that's all because she's a good friend. That's everything there is to it.

Wait. Who are you convincing again?

"Oh, come on. Smile a little, pretty boy." Hyeju places a finger on one edge of your mouth then pulls it upwards. "There you go. Suh-miiile—"

Pretty boy. She called me a pretty boy.

"You p-plan on getting off the table or what?" you say.

People are staring at you and Hyeju but that isn't what's making you blush. What's gotten into you? You can't tell yourself it's because of her simply because it isn't because of her. Hyeju has as much effect on you as a cup of coffee.

(You thrive off caffeine, by the way, but that's not the point.)

"Sure. No. Uh… probably?" She looks up at the ceiling as if she's figuring something out, then clicks her tongue when she does. "Yep, nah."

Groan.

Secretly, confessed only in the deepest corners of your mind, you like people paying attention to you and Hyeju. It’s not much about the attention itself but the way it makes them think that the two of you must be really close. Like, really really close. The kind that makes those who want Hyeju rush to her only to be met in the face with a barrier: you. They can’t have her because you do.

Not in that way, of course, but it still means something. If she has you, nobody else could, and if you have her, more so.

"Son Hyeju,” you say, fighting back the smile on your face as she ruffles your hair, “I swear to god—"

"Oh, please," says Hyeju, leaning forward with narrowed eyes and a wicked smile, "spare me, oppa. Spare me the blasphemy—"

That's enough from her, you think. Your hands dive for her waist. Pull her down onto your lap. Your thighs soften the blow and also play the role of a launch pad as one kick sends Hyeju in the air. More chances to tickle her come along with it. Okay, that bit about the lap was wholly unintentional, and you'll swear to god again for that.

What isn't unintended though is the tickling you do on Hyeju's midriff and arms. It helps that she's so sensitive—soon she's laughing boisterously, struggling in your lap with her head upturned and triangle-shaped mouth letting out unkempt guffaws. She nearly kicks the two of you out of the café seat.

"Dude, you are such a loser, stop!" she laughs, still winding around like a screw on top of you. Laughs alternate between each syllable. "P-people are looking, fffucking quit—"

When that beautiful gummy smile breaks on her face, you don't want to. People can look as much as they like and you wouldn't give a damn. Tickling is Hyeju's punishment, and you'll do it to her anywhere to teach her a lesson.

"Ha, haha, I'm sorry, okay!"

"That's my girl."

You’re not hurt anymore. For a few delicious minutes, you’ll forget you were ever pondering if you like her or not.

Stop completely because you’re easy to convince like that All she needed was that one magic word. Place her on the chair beside you and fold her hands on her lap as if she were a misbehaving child.

"Now behave yourself."

Hyeju rolls her eyes. "And if I don't?" she challenges you.

You raise your fingers in a curled position and direct them threateningly centimeters away from her ticklish spots. She gives up. She can't find a punishment worse than that.

"Why are you here anyway? I thought you didn’t want to come," you say, taking the liberty to open your laptop again. The screen directs you to your assignment tab after you type in your password. Sigh; still five thousand words to go.

"I'm here because I've got nowhere else to be," she answers. She practices her own liberty, too, and sips shamelessly at your iced beverage.

Her eyes light up at the taste. "I got bored being alone in the dorm."

You think of her alone, and your heart immediately sinks. Maybe you should have stayed there. You’re her roommate—you’re there for her to have company. Sure, the roommates were paired up randomly, but it must lead to something now that you and Hyeju have met again. It was by pure chance that she reunited with you after years of being apart. There’s a string drawing you together, and you don’t know what it means.

You do know that the reunion with your childhood best friend and seeing how she’s grown made your heart flutter. You act all mean when you’re around her, which is confusing when you’ve missed her so much.

"And I needed somewhere else to finish this thesis before miss Wong realizes it was due three weeks ago." Glare pointedly at her. Here you go again. Told you so. "Somewhere that's not occupied by a brat."

It's true. Call it what you will: an insult, a pointless accusation, but what you said rings true even in your childhood best friend's defiant mind. She could be a handful often.

"I am not a brat," she says, offended. She knows the truth and chooses to deny it. Typical. You should have seen that coming when she’s the girl who lies about the extra dishes in the sink not being her fault and her turn with the laundry.

Sigh. Act as the lawyer; you’re studying to be one anyway. It’s best to practice. "Remember when you cut up the slogan on the mayo label then taped it on me? I had 'white creamy filling; taste me!' on my back for the whole day!"

"It was a big-ass sticker for a mayonnaise, okay? I couldn't stop myself." Hyeju admits this with hands raised in defeat. "But what about that time you shoved a Toblerone in my mouth while I was sleeping then took a photo of me?"

Raise your hands, too. You realize there's no way to weigh in the blame on a single person when you and Hyeju brought the brat out of each other. It's impossible to go by a day that isn't filled by at least one prank and joking quarrels.

Still, you find it fun. Hyeju's so easy to bond with, so easy to love.

Whoa, where did that suddenly get here? Like you said, you love Hyeju, but only as a friend.

So you do love her, in a way. Huh.

That realization settles in and suddenly you're rendered frozen at the table. Your hands that ought to be finishing your schoolwork are frozen in mid-air. You're staring at the screen like you were watching a gory movie instead of trying to tick off your to-do list.

"You okay?" she asks, one-of-a-kind lips sealed around the paper straw. "You kind of, like, went to another dimension for a bit."

How do you tell her you’re considering the fact that you might actually like her? You’ve known her for years. Something’s inevitably going to bloom inside you for her, right?

"Y-yeah. I'm good." Not. “And stop drinking my coffee.”

“You wouldn’t need it if you just did the thesis early. What’s so hard about it anyway?” Hyeju stands then bends over to glance at your laptop.

You don’t realize how short her dress is. It rides up to the centers of her thighs and you don’t know how to prevent anyone from seeing something forbidden without brushing down the hem of her dress. If you went down that road, you’d have to run your hand along her back and ass—you’d look like a pervert.

Idiot. Think of something. Something that isn’t how you’d love to see more when you're just like everyone and shouldn't be allowed more eye access to her body. Only you know how many times Hyeju’s body came up in your mind when you were alone. Paired up with that attractive face that held a permanent pout, it’s impossible not to think of anything else.

“Ugh! You are so dumb, you know that, oppa?” To your horror, Hyeju sits down neatly on your lap. She has her hands quickly frisking on your keyboard. “There’s a comma missing here, and a citation over here… oh, and a—”

“Save some for the rest of us!” a man about your age and height yells jokingly, cheering you on with a raise of his mug of hot coffee.

Both you and Hyeju look at him with confusion written all over your faces. Your words of surprise almost sync and match with the other for you realize your hands are on her hips, and Hyeju’s leaning back so comfortably in you that anyone would have thought it was another case of couple’s PDA. They’d be wrong though. She’s not your girlfriend. She can’t be your girlfriend.

So why is she so comfortable on top of you, as if she’s always been there? Why did your hands naturally rest on the beautiful slopes of her hips and pull her down the moment she stooped?

The guy’s grandmother smiles adoringly. “Young love,” she says with a dreamy tinge to her aged voice. "What wouldn't I give to experience that again."

You and Hyeju meet each other’s gazes and suddenly you’re unattached to each other. She guiltily settles on her chair and you take your hands off her. That was wrong. Why were the two of you so comfortable with being so touchy? Best friends don’t do that. At least, not best friends of the opposite sex.

“I should go,” she stammers, standing up. “Call me i-if you need help, oppa.”

Just like that, she’s gone. Where did she go? Why did you lose her so fast?

Hyeju’s always called you oppa one way or another, but that moment left a particular jar in your heart. It shards the depths of the core and renders you speechless. You didn’t know that the person you’d love to hear that title the most from is your best friend. She’s supposed to call you that when she’s younger, but even if she weren’t, you’d still love to hear her call you that.

There’s a sense of fulfillment in being able to be Hyeju’s oppa. The one she always relies on. The one she sticks to through whatever happens. That’s why now that she’s told you to call her if you need help makes you ache. It’s the things that are seemingly so simple as that that send more yearning inside you.

The question is: what exactly are you yearning for? Who are you yearning for?

You think you know the answer. It’d take guts to admit it, to finally come clean. But what’s there to come clean about? You don’t love Hyeju.

A ding from your phone just now. You’re nearly finished with the thesis, and it’s lucky that way since it’s from Hyeju. God knows she has ways of distracting you. Her clean moves at the dance she led and her chill yet stern voice when she commands a rowdy classroom steer you away from what you should be doing, like get away from her. Avoid her at all costs. Never tell her what you’re feeling because it’ll only end up badly for everyone involved. You don’t want to hurt Hyeju, and still you remain hopeful to not get yourself hurt, too.

It takes several seconds for courage to tie you down and pick up the phone. It’s a series of texts from her.

HyejU_U: hey

Sooooooooo

I’m sorry for what happened earlier.

I didn’t really think and thought that you'd be fine with it

cause yknow

You pulled me down

and

We’re friends.

right?

Yeah, we’re friends, you think bitterly. And no matter how touchy you get, Son Hyeju, it’s all we’ll ever be to you.

HyejU_U: can we just move forward from it? If you want to ofc

Do you? Graduation is near and it’s still taken plenty of years of your life to get over Hyeju. Do you go forward and start on a new slate with her, or dwell in places you shouldn’t be?

Your fingers linger on the keyboard, then—

You: Sure.

Sorry, too

if i like

Made you feel uncomfortable

Wasnt my intention, i promise

HyejU_U: oh you didnt make me feel uncomfy at all.

So don’t worry <3

What a relief.

HyejU_U: i should be the one apologizing anyway

I thought it would be nice to be on you since ur arms feel good around me

Cock a brow. A giddy smile itches at the ends of your lips. Stifle it you will, though she can’t see you through her screen.

HyejU_U: sorry again

i just wanted to see if what i thought was true

Anyways.

yeah, sorry.

You: so we’re good?

HyejU_U: we have a deal, dickface

;)

See, this is the thing you’re afraid to lose with Hyeju: the carefreeness of your little friendly touches and hugs, insults that take it just far enough, everything. If you told her how you felt (keep in mind that you might not actually like her romantically; you’re just thinking that you might), you’d lose your relationship with her—the one that formed before the two of you even knew what romance was. The one that’s kept the reunion as natural as could be without the need for awkwardness.

You’re so glad to have her back. As a student you’ve nearly cried knowing you passed a semester and worked night and day to finish a difficult assignment—none of those feelings can match the one of relief you felt when Hyeju told you everything was good on both ends.

But for now, you’ve gotta try to put a dent into this thesis. You’re almost done, you swear. You’ve just been stalling—not intentionally. You swear on that, too. Your whole afternoon’s been swamped up in thoughts about her plus the thoughts about if you’re too perverted a man to be with her. There are a lot of questions left by you immediately responding to Hyeju choosing to sit on your lap. A lot of which are left unanswered.

Priorities. Sigh a little; there’s still work to be done, yet worrying about your best friend is on top of the list. You really should find a hobby when you’re already dragging your teammates behind. Plus, there’s the capstone to worry about that you haven’t prepared for even in the most miniscule bit. So there really shouldn’t be an explanation for why thinking about what she thinks of you is your number one priority. Why, you have plenty of other things to worry about.

You just can’t get her off your mind. These days it’s impossible to.

Abstain anyway, the best you can, from thinking about her and finally complete the thesis. It’s lengthy, well-edited, and has the perfect format to finally make you a lawyer. Attorney doesn’t sound too bad when it’s added to the front of your name.

You should celebrate, actually. The moment you think of it, Daniel suddenly messages you. He’s saying something about it being a Saturday, so you should go to the bar with him. You’re a social drinker, anyway. You could go there without going overboard. Addictions and vices form in these years of fresh adulthood, but you’ve never found yourself wound up in something.

So you do. They ask for your IDs and let you in after a short study of the cards. The guard gives you a lengthy lecture about not being alcoholics as young as you are, but welcomes you anyway.

If we’re talking about getting yourself wound up in someone, though…

“Dude,” Daniel says. He motions his glass to someone coming from the door. “Hyeju.”

You already know he’s rich, but what teacher did he pay to study him into mind-reading? “I wasn’t thinking about her,” you tell him defensively.

“No, I mean, she’s here.” He stares at said woman walking over to the bar with swaying hips. “How the fuck did she get here?”

Hyeju’s here? Swallow. Quick. What do you say? Where exactly in the bar is she right now? Why is she here? When did she get here? Why the fuck are you talking like a news reporter?

“Hullo, boys.” She stops your train of thought and makes sure to dedicate all of them to her with her hands set on the table and a pretty crop top attached to the curves on her perfect body. You wonder where she got that dress. If she thrifted it, it isn’t obvious—her body does good work in making it look like couture.

“Hi, Hyeju.” Daniel acknowledges her with a nod. He’s a friend of yours and hers, just to remind everyone. He wouldn’t take another step with Hyeju, but you still have yourself staring daggers into his stubbled beard that lines his face and how he takes life as he would a game. There’s a reason why you’re the least tipsy among the two of you. He likes a challenge.

“Hi,” you say meekly. Hope your voice doesn’t sound twisted when your stomach suddenly is. Oh, and it’s not because of Hyeju. It’s the alcohol, pinky promise with a finger heart after. Alcohol’s never made your stomach turn this way though.

Hyeju regards the shotglasses. “You went drinking without me?”

“What does it look like?” Daniel asks, giving her the finger. It’s just the usual friendly argument that doesn’t cross lines or anything. The ones that you and Hyeju have. Why do you feel like punching him in the face?

Luckily, she doesn’t have a fragile heart. “Cute. Keep it that way.” She rolls her eyes then turns to you. “Oh, and you. I thought you liked having me around.”

“I’m sorry.” Ask the bartender for another shot then hand it to her. “I guess we just thought you were busy with training.”

She’s training to become an idol. It’s been her dream since she was a kid, when you played in the slides and dropped from monkey bars. She’s always told you she was going to be big someday, and you never doubted that for a second. She even had a name she planned to use if she were to be a performer: Olivia Hye. You weren’t gonna lie, it had a nice ring to it. Not too bad for a name she made up after skimming through a baby name book from the bookstore.

“I dropped out,” she says simply, downing the shot like water.

“What?” you and Daniel ask together. Both of your voices sync with the shock, too. Neither of you could get why she did that. It’s been Hyeju’s dream to become an idol for so long. She couldn’t give that up just like that, but she did.

“Yep.” There’s pride in her voice. “The whole thing was a shithole. I already have Idalso to deal with. I’m not gonna put up with that, fuck no.”

Your heart aches for her dream. Idalso University really is blocking her from achieving it. She could be out there on the stage, maybe having found a better agency, singing and dancing her heart out. Instead, she has to choose one problem at the time and hence goes with college. She has her own parents to please, and because you have yours, you get it. You truly do.

As for Hyeju getting a problem off her mind, like that terrible agency, your spirits lift. You raise a glass and clink it with hers.

“To getting the hell out of this shithole,” you say; look at the girl you’ve lived for and loved with a smile, “and Son fucking Hyeju for doing it again.”

Your glasses meet. You’re somehow happy that it’s only two, yours and hers, that join. You can’t explain it for the life of you, but you like seeing Daniel become like a background character to it all. Just another extra in Hyeju’s show and yours. It’s cruel, especially when he’s been nothing but a good friend, but it is what it is.

“Tell you what,” Daniel says. “Let’s go to a noraebang tomorrow.”

She’s contemplative. “Isn’t the one near Idalso… like, expensive?”

“So what?” He shrugs. “You did it, Hyeju. You got out of that company thing. I’m done with my capstone and so is he with his thesis. I say we all have some fun. On me.”

Daniel has the privilege of not worrying about things being expensive or not. It’s the norm for him. You kind of want him to play Dorothy and put himself in your shoes, then make him go through what you did.

You know it isn’t fair and he’s just being kind. Still and all, your hatred rises.

“What now?” Daniel asks. “You guys in!”

“Of course!” Hyeju nods and claps her hands together. There’s a gummy smile on her face again. You’ve seen it on her many times, but you’ve also seen the sunset everyday—therefore, you’ll still be glad to catch a glimpse of it.

You guess since she’s in, you have to go, too. You say yes and that of course you’d love to go, and this time three glasses clink together prettily. Smiles are on each of your faces albeit yours is artificial.

"Could you act any less like a deadbeat dad?" Hyeju asks. She sits down on the stool beside you after Daniel leaves to get some air. Still feels like he's here when you feel like everyone's eyes are on you and her.

"I'm not doing anything." You say that because you aren't. You definitely aren't stirring a brew of jealousy inside you that poisons the maker, too. You're its creator yet the prophecy that was written tells that it'll turn against you, too. You’re Kronos, and it's an inevitable fate.

"Exactly. That's what deadbeat means." This matter-of-fact statement from her is followed by Hyeju stealing your shotglass out of your hand right before you drink it. "Seriously, dude. What's up with you?"

Oh, you don't know. Maybe her possibly being your crush? It's such an immature matter, but you haven't had a crush like this. The others were just sweet-faced and from afar. Those are the girls you dream of. To have a girl like Hyeju, the one you've known since forever, with a spunky personality but an opposing pretty face, the one who's been your ride-or-die—it's complicated.

What else could you say to her when the truth is something you'd rather she not hear?

"I'm fine, Hye."

"Are you? You look…" She thinks about it for a while as she studies your hair and poorly combined outfit choices. She slicks your blunt strands back and smiles teasingly. "...sleazy."

"Fuck y—"

"Shhh." She places a finger on your lips. The side of her thigh touches your lap. You're so close that any word you utter won't pass without hitting her. "It's okay. I like it."

You purse your lips. You didn't expect that. She's taken seats on your lap that were uninitiated by you and let you lift her in the air when you hug her. All that and her fingers in your hair are the most surprising.

"You're drunk," you say, although she’s only had a few shots.

Hyeju inches closer to you and holds your chin in place. "I'm sober as the next wolf, sweetie," she tells you. Her next words fail to show her hesitance. "And… and it just so happens that I really, really want to kiss you."

She's joking. She's playing around with your heart. You're not a virgin—you know what girls do. Hyeju doesn't strike you as the type to do that in spite of what’s going on, but you have to be careful. Your heart’s been bruised too many times already.

Careful isn't the word for it when you take the first step and lean in for a kiss. Maybe you're drunk yourself. Dizziness enchants your mind as Hyeju's dreamy lips perfectly pout to the shape of your mouth. Her eyes are closed. It's like she's in a restful dream.

You can’t believe you’re doing it. You’re kissing her. Passionately, too—there’s real determination in the way you hungrily lean forward to devour her lips.

The bar oohs and ahhs, then erupts into a crowd of applause. A few whistles come your way. You can feel Hyeju smile into your mouth.

Proclivities upon proclivities to keep her around you and only you couldn’t stop Monday from coming. You’ve only been to a noraebang once and that was with your family. It excites you to go to one again. However, you’d rather have only Hyeju to come, to be the exclusive member of the club that gets to hear her soft, pretty voice echo in the mic.

She’s really doing a number on you. Daniel’s your friend—sure, he might be out of touch with the local games and experiences, yet he’s still important to you. You can’t be mad at him over a girl who probably doesn’t even think the kiss at the bar was anything special. She hasn’t even talked about it with you and acts like it didn’t happen. Just another boy, just another day. That’s probably how you are to her.

Ouch. Way to go hurting yourself with your own made-up scenarios. As expected from you.

The three of you decide to cut classes. It’s not like you’re in high school anymore. Professors just don’t give a fuck, unless it’s miss Wong. She’s pretty and quiet at first. Then you have to wait to see her get angry—that’s when all hell breaks loose.

No hell on the loose today. Just three little demons from hell called Hyeju, Daniel and yourself down on the loose and down the road to the noraebang. Hyeju’s in a loose black jacket and a plain white tee. You somehow notice that more than Daniel who’s sporting a graphic shirt with swear words from every language printed on it. You don’t have much to say about your attire when it’s nothing special, not even compared to Hyeju, who’s wearing simple clothes like you.

“If a teacher sees us out here—” says Daniel nervously. He’s never rebelled before. The most he’s done is missing a class.

“No one will,” Hyeju promises him, opening the door of the place for the two of you though in your opinion it should be the other way around: you opening the door for her. What better way to show Hyeju that you could be a gentleman? Too late now. Plus, she doesn’t care much for that. That’s what keeps your excitement on a low burn. It takes more than opening a door and waiting around to impress Hyeju.

You sign your names at the front. Daniel picks a nice, wide room with a glass table perfect for chips and bottles. The bright screen already shows snippets of K-pop music videos, involving sweet-faced Korean girls waving at the camera and running along a beach. As boyish Hyeju is compared to other girls, you could definitely see her doing that for her passion of becoming an idol.

“What should we sing?” asks Hyeju, sitting down on the black plush seats comfortably. Her gummy smile is precious.

“Anything you want.” He slings an arm around her. His looped arm tugs her into a warm embrace. “Anything for the soon-to-be lawyer slash K-pop idol.”

Stiffen. Turn away and suddenly take good interest in the walls with a carved 3D effect. Much more interesting than whatever Daniel’s trying to pull on your best friend. Right, Hyeju’s your best friend. Nothing more. That kiss was a drunken mistake. You shouldn’t be getting angry. Besides, this noraebang was rented for you to have fun, not glower at Daniel doing nothing but be a good friend.

Hyeju laughs and leans into him gladly. “Stop, you’re gonna make me throw up!”

You feel out of place all of a sudden. Has she always been that affectionate with him? You thought that those touches and hugs were reserved for you only. Apparently not.

“Sing a song, Hye.” Your eyes don’t meet her gaze.

“They wanted me to debut with this song,” she says. The mic is shaky in her hand. “I—” She blushes. “I want to sing it for you.”

Sweetness infiltrates the air. It’s not of a scent or touch, but of hearing. It's Hyeju’s voice. It's smooth and soft as it passes through the empty atmosphere. No instrumental accompanies her voice, and you’re glad it’s that way. It allows you to marvel at Hyeju’s tone, quiet in spite of its sexiness.

And it takes that and several songs later, sung daringly by all of your trio, and jokes passed among friends that make you think about it. Really think about it. While Daniel and she sing their hearts out to the point of their voices cracking and laughs transforming into guffaws, you sit there and submerge yourself in thought.

You’ve seen Hyeju smile. It's pretty and sweet; her triangle-shaped mouth curls up into a half moon and it's everything you've ever wished for in life. No, fuck food. Fuck oxygen. All you need is her smile. It's cheesy as hell when you page through those types of quotes in those teenage romance books you probably shouldn't even be holding, but you swear that if Hyeju smiles for the rest of her life, it's enough for you to live. She just looks so pretty. Her resting bitch face, stone cold as the title of the expression suggests, is hot (yes, you're using that word), but when she chooses to smile—oh, you're as good as dead.

You don't like Son Hyeju though.

You’ve heard her sing in the noraebang room with her soft voice filling the vicinity. She doesn't sing much although she could. The day would come when she’d say "you know, I almost became an idol. I trained then dipped halfway,” and the pitched raspiness of her voice still would send you to heaven. It's a natural and beautiful thing, a trait she couldn't learn from the best vocal coach.

You don't like Son Hyeju though.

You’ve felt her hair when she leaned into your lap after laughing too much. "Stop, or I swear to god I will fuck your shit up," she told you, slapping your thigh after your terrible dad joke. You ran your fingers through her hair to calm her, but if anything it's an excuse to just touch her. You want to touch Hyeju, and not even in a sexual way. You just want your bodies closed up on each other with no awkwardness barriering the freedom to hold and be held.

And it’s not the kiss, but all these that make you stop your denial, and discover that you—

“—think I like Hye,” you whisper to Daniel when said girl leaves to get some beer. The flashing disco lights hanging from the ceiling can’t camouflage the red on your face.

Daniel laughs and puts down the mic. The bump on the crafted table sends a tinged pitch of feedback to your ears. “Everyone likes her. So?”

He’s right. Everyone likes Hyeju. Yeah, they like her through every name she’s taken up. She was the star of the school back in middle school when she went as Hyejoo, then the ice princess of high school as Olivia Hye, and finally… as herself now that she’s grown up with you, Son Hyeju. She’s become so many versions of herself and yet people still like the real her. You still know the real her.

“No,” is what you say, as you twiddle your fingers. You don’t know how to say this without causing an uproar. “I like Hyeju.”

He considers this for a moment, weighing in your words. “Like as in… like like?”

A nervous swallow. Is Daniel the right person to tell this ? “Like like,” you reply nevertheless.

Daniel locks his chin between his rough fingers and strokes it thoughtfully. His face is clouded with a feeling you can’t read. “Well, a lot of people do, too. And they wouldn’t blame you for it. She’s—” He looks down at his shoes then back at the noraebang screen. “She’s a pretty girl.”

The understatement of the century. Hyeju’s face was carved with such beauty—curved, pyramid lips; slanted eyes; a cold look that you, unlike people when asked about their first impression of her, weren’t scared of—and she’s just so… easy to love.

Yes, Son Hyeju is easy to love. Everyone loves her, but she can only ever reciprocate it in a different way to one man. Woman, perhaps? Anything goes, but you'd rather she gives it to you.

You're a selfish person, you admit that. More so when it comes to her.

"Let's get this party started!" she says. You don't intend to flinch yet you end up doing it anyway when she sits down next to you and hands you canned alcohol.

"There's only three of us, Hye," Daniel points out. The rounded metal springs up from the can and he gulps down a hefty amount of the spiked liquid.

"Three's a crowd. Especially when it's with you guys."

"So you're saying we're too much?" Match her sass with hidden bits of your own. You're only trying to make it seem like your heart doesn't beg to be held close to hers.

"Too much is just enough for me."

Hyeju drops both of her arms around you and your other friend and ruffles your hair. It's sweet. It should be. It’s exactly that which makes you fail to understand why your heart feels squeezed. Why is she also hugging Daniel in the same manner she hugs you?

The kiss at the bar means nothing. The kiss at the bar means nothing. You have to stop thinking that it means there's a ring on your finger already.

You rise from the sofa to purchase chips because you’re starving, but not for healthy food. You wouldn’t dream of eating a salad when there’s junk food in your general vicinity, and it just so happens that there’s a vending machine you’ve got your eye on at the counter. Soon, a rainbow of plastic bags fills your arms. What they contain would work well to repay your debt with Hyeju. Daniel can eat these without worrying about money. He’s been a good friend. He deserves chips after the evil you’ve thought about him.

"I bought chips—"

Daniel is pushing Hyeju to the end of the sofa and has his lips locked on hers. His hands are in her hair. Her eyes are shut. You can hear the sloppy sounds of kissing bouncing off the noraebang walls. The instrumental from the radio is the cherry on top of everything.

Does this kiss guarantee a ring?

"Wow," you say. Nod then laugh, as if doing it would make your situation better. “Wow.”

Hyeju turns her head and scrambles for broken dignity. It's too late. You've already seen it. Daniel doesn't even bother running after you when she bursts out of the room to chase you. You're immovable—each step is a promise to take you far away. You trust that promise to skewer you away from Son Hyeju, Son fucking Hyeju who led you on and played with your heart.

"Hey.” Her steps catch up with yours. Walk faster, but she only draws closer. You can’t escape from her now. “Hey!”

"What?" Turn to her, heavy breathing lining your shoulders. You stare into her small face and silently dare her to make an excuse.

To your surprise and her audacity, she does. "It's not what it looks like!" she says, swallowing. How could she be the one near tears when she's the one who kissed him? "Let me explain—"

"I know what I saw."

"Well, you don't see the bigger picture. He sm—"

"—smart? Funny? Rich?" Laugh and shake your head. Your laughs sound more and more genuine. You've gone a little sick in the head. "Yeah, I know. But hey, we're not supposed to be anything, right? Why am I mad? It's not like our kiss meant anything."

"Please, oppa. Listen to me."

"No, go sing together,” you say, then thrust the junk food you bought in her arms. “I’m sure you’re better off with him.”

Mean it. Turn away. Don't bother to look at her when you know she'll go crawling back to Daniel. He's totally her type. He's everything, you're nothing. He's smart, you're not. He loves her more, and you do—just not enough. Now you understand why they were so touchy and close in the room.

Anger is irrational when it was just a kiss. The two of you weren't official, either. If you weren't before, you sure as hell aren't now. It's just not meant to be.

She likes Daniel, not you. And even though you want to be, you aren't supposed to be angry at Hyeju. She was swept into a high school love triangle that happened a little later in her life, and ultimately chose the better guy. No need to drop names. The kiss was enough for you to know which man she chose.

Besides, you don't love Son Hyeju anyway. Isn't that what you've always told yourself? That's right. You don't love her.

Denial is a river flowing down your cheek.

The dorm becomes a cemetery of the living dead. You and Hyeju have not spoken to each other for three months. She stops waking you up for class, and you do the same. The place is notably cleaner after the two of you rely only on yourself to tidy up. Lost are the sarcasm, friendly touches, teasing arguments. It’s like the two of you never knew each other.

It’s through this that you discover that you have to be careful what you wish for. You always thought about Daniel putting himself in your place, and it happened. Ever since the kiss, Hyeju’s been chattier with him, and he pulls her close the way you used to, and she smiles at him like she used to at you, except that it’s wider now. They’re together. Officially together; you’ve seen their Instagram posts.

Moreover, she’s happier than ever, flourishing without you.

And you? You’re still stuck in that noraebang, replaying that fateful kiss over and over in your head. Each time you close your eyes you see Hyeju and Daniel in a passionate liplock. It’s the kiss that ruined what you had with Hyeju and has made your quality of life deteriorate. You didn’t know that Hyeju makes up almost every part of your day. Mornings are empty without your stroll with her. Post-exam nights aren’t as fun when she’s not there to bring drinks. Afternoons are lonely when she’s always out with Daniel.

You hate the fucker. He knew you liked Hyeju. You’ve told him about it right before the thing he did with her even happened, so it’s impossible that he’d forget. Besides, like he said, the two of you are always together. He surely would have picked up the signs. Unfortunately, he whisked her away just like that.

You dislike to feel like the scheming guy in coming-of-age films who doesn’t get the girl, but it’s the perfect portrayal of your emotions.

Wake up for class. She does, too. You have the decency to not gawk at how good she looks even in a casual tank top and plaid shorts, but she doesn’t even try to hide that she’s staring at you. Just not for the same reason, you assume. You’re just her boy best friend. With the way things are, you aren’t even a friend to her anymore.

You smear cheese onto a soft slice of bread. Still, her eyes are on you. From the corner of what takes up your vision, you could tell that she’s trying to figure out how to make this less awkward. You’d think that an eternity’s worth of effectively giving each other the cold shoulder would make her learn how to do it. She’s a smart girl anyway. She should have figured that out.

“You know… you can’t just keep ignoring me.”

Freeze—it’s the first time she’s spoken to you in a while. And you weren’t prepared for that. It’s like someone threw a punch in your stomach, but it’s also a breath of fresh air. How those two feelings could converge into each other you don’t know.

“So stop it, will you?” she continues. She swings her legs out of the duvet and places her hands snug on the edge of her bed. “Stop treating me like I’m a…”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m your fucking ex,” Hyeju snarls. The duvet crumples in her fist.

Scoff. Fold the bread slice tight onto the other squared end. Talk about a good morning. “Ex? We were never a thing, Hye… ju.”

Right, it isn’t like that anymore. You can’t call her Hye like the old times.

The hurt that registers on her face, still pretty in the midst of pain, comes by so fast it would take a magnifying glass to see it clearly. Now she’s the one scoffing. She recovers quickly from the stifled nickname so well that you never would have guessed you disarmed her. “That’s the thing. You’re right—we weren’t boyfriend-girlfriend. So why are you acting like I’m a ghost?”

“I wonder why,” you say. “Couldn’t be because you kissed me then decided to kiss another guy while I was away. Nope, totally out of the question.”

What happened? It seems like just yesterday the two of you were throwing insults and playfully quarreling with each other like it’s natural. This is a real disagreement here. This can’t be resolved with a smile or hug. You and Hyeju aren’t like that anymore. It’s a thing of the past.

Just like your friendship.

“If you’d just let me explain—”

“You know what? I don’t have time for this. Go with Daniel to class. Have a good life with him. Just call me if you get lost.”

Don’t even try to take a bite out of your cheese sandwich. You leave it on the table. Later, it’ll become stale and cold, similar to your friendship with Hyeju, or whatever kind of fucked up relationship you have.

You storm out of the dorm. You’re glad to get out—you’re already worried about the test later and the night class with miss Wong. Don’t need a situationship to take up your mind either.

The day passes like a car on a rocky, jagged road. It’s difficult to muster a smile to the freshmen the moment you come in to help miss Jeong teach, or work on your test when that argument with her fills your mind rather than equations you should have memorized. The whole day is torture, and you don’t dare wish it on anyone. Not even that asshole Daniel

“What’s up with you today?” people ask you. “You sure you’re alright?” “Where’s Hyeju?”

You don’t answer.

When the night comes, it’s relief for your sore mind and body. That test beat you up and the sun was too cruel to your skin. Even if night classes could last till the brink of dawn, you don’t mind. Take comfort in the fact that it’s only a discussion and nothing more.

Barely listen though. Two a.m. creeps by and you haven’t taken in a thing. Usually miss Wong would have you focused, keeping in mind that she’s strict and merciless, but you’re too tired today. Your bones ache though you didn’t do much walking. They’re only symptoms of heartbreak.

You don’t want to see a doctor. In fact, you want to get worse.

Miss Wong looks up at the clock. “Is it alright if I extend for just five minutes?” she asks. Her pencil skirt struggles to contain her strides on the platform.

A chorus of mixed responses echo in the classroom. Others, the top students in particular who participate in every club you could name, say it’s fine. Some already have excuses to make: they need to work on homework; they have other classes to go to; every excuse existing. You don’t know which side you’re on—you don’t want to come home to another angry night with Hyeju, and at the same time, you can’t be assed to stay.

Then—

Ringing. It’s all you hear. Your classmates’ voices drown out in it. It’s supposed to be soft, but it isn’t anymore when everyone shuts their mouth in alarm. Look here, look there. You don’t know where it’s coming from.

Your hint is the light in your pocket. Fish it out. It’s coming from your phone.

“I thought I told you guys to put your cellphones on mute during class,” Wong says, sighing. Her glare shoots you a warning.

Okay, you’d say sorry to her and put your phone away. Drop the call. Anything. But the first thing you do is wonder:

Why the fuck is Son Hyeju calling you?

Aside from all the tension between you, your natural instinct is to answer. Your next is to ask her, “Hye?”

“Oppa…” comes her voice from your speaker.

Before you could wonder why she’s calling, you notice that Hyeju’s voice is… lonely. Yes, lonely. That’s the word you’d use right away if you’re asked to describe it. No, it can’t be just that. It’s mixed with something else. It’s higher, a little more groggy.

Forget that you were fighting. Forget that she kissed Daniel and broke your heart. She wouldn’t call if it isn’t something even her pride can’t protect. “Hyeju? What’s wrong?”

“I’m lost.”

Those are the two words she utters before breaking into sobs. You’ve never heard or seen Hyeju cry. She likes to treat problems with anger rather than sadness, slicing away at every conflict with groans and cursing professors for low grades. If she’s crying, it must mean something’s wrong. Something’s very, very wrong.

You’re keenly aware that all eyes and ears are monitoring your moves, but you don’t care. You rise from your seat and start gathering your laptop into your bag. You forget about your notes. Fuck them. Hyeju comes first.

“Where did you go, Hye?” Walk out of the class. If miss Wong has a problem with that, she can tell you about it tomorrow.

Sniffles on her end. Her quiet, low cries break your heart. “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I need you, oppa. I have… I have nobody else. Please come and get me.”

“Hyeju—”

“Please,” she whispers. Her voice lowers to a whine. “I’m alone. I’m so alone.”

Tears itch at the bottoms of your eyes. You have to come and get her. Need to forget the fight and silent treatment that ensued. All that means nothing if Hyeju’s in need of your help.

Where the fuck are your keys? Remove them from the loop of your jeans and click the button. In the driveway, your car’s headlights shine. Yep, there it is. You once regretted buying a secondhand car like that. Now that it can get you to Hyeju, you vow to take care of it for life. You’d spend thousands to repair it if it breaks down.

But right now, it’s Hyeju who’s breaking down. She’s all alone somewhere and she needs you. In a way, you need her, too. She’s the one who’s braver to admit it.

You’ve never driven faster in your entire life. All the while you stay on the line with Hyeju. Your grip on the wheel tightens whenever she lets out a hopeless little sob. She’s crying so hard that you want to roll into a ball in the corner and cry, too. You can’t do that. You have to be the stronger one, the one who comes to her like she’s done for you and tells her that everything’s going to be alright.

You make no promises.

Eventually you coax a location out of her and break several speed limits. Ignore the cops that yell at you. They can all go and fuck off. Hyeju needs you. You’re her best friend. It’s what friends do.

“Motherfucker,” you curse, upon seeing that the location she led you to was a club. It’s hidden in the corner of a creepy alley. “Hyeju, are you drunk?”

“Nooooo…” she drawls, giggling through her tears. “Your voice is so nice, oppa. It really makes me feel better. Did’ya know that?”

No time to be flattered. You burst into the club and find her in the midst of flashing lights and crowds of bodies. Your ears ring because of the music. Whose idea was it to hire this DJ? He thinks he’s doing such a good job, too.

Hyeju’s in the center of it all. Her black coat is too big for her, but so is the crowd. When it moves, it drags her along by the toes. She’s… smiling? Wasn’t she crying on the phone just minutes earlier? Maybe she drank more. This can’t be good.

“Hyeju!” Start walking faster.

She sticks her tongue out at you and starts to sprint upon seeing you get close.

You have no time for games. This isn’t even in the least bit funny. What if someone spiked her drink? What if that was the reason she’s acting funny? Worse: what if someone’s planning to take advantage of her? All these concerns bump into each other in your head as you run after her.

A couple of “excuse me”s and “sorry!”s after you quickly squeeze in between dancing people. Drinks spilled on the floor. Anger from two dolled up ladies. (A look to your right and… yep, not only from them.) Disapproval from the DJ who even calls you out. Boos from the crowd. You don’t care about them. You only care about getting Hyeju to safety. She can’t be here in her vulnerable state.

Before she could dash out from your line of vision, you grab her wrist. Seal your grip around it tightly so she can’t escape. “Son Hyeju,” you say, glaring at her. Ever since she stopped crying, she started to play around. This isn’t a game but to her it is. A fun game, to be more precise. “What the fuck is going on?”

“Oooh, you caught…” She burps. Playful giggles spill from her mouth. “... me!” Hyeju gives you a drunken smile and claps for you regardless of her right hand being held into position.

“Why are you here?”

“Why are you here? See? I can ask stupid q-questions, too!”

You whisk her away from the ongoing party and into the cold night air. You’re about to throw your jacket on her when you see that she’s wearing one, too.

People are starting to stare. Pray that no one intervenes, even if they have good intentions. After all, you’re a man with a woman under the influence. They have every right to be concerned, but you hope that just for now they know you wouldn’t dare hurt Hyeju.

The wind blows a breeze that almost knocks you to the floor. You draw Hyeju to yourself to warm her. You can’t risk her catching a cold.

”Let me go, oppa!” Hyeju’s mood goes from sad to drunkenly cheerful to pained. She forces her wrist out from your fist harshly. Your arms no longer wrap her. “You don’t like me anymore, right? And I have a boyfriend!”

Capture her hand again. She can’t escape and run away a second time. You’ve done that too much to know that it’ll send her down into a dizzying spiral. You’re cowards, the both of you—that’s why you flee whenever a problem arises. You don’t know how to deal with it.

That changes now. Get in your vehicle. Pull her in, too. “For your information,” you say, locking her seatbelt in place, “you called me. You asked me to pick you up.”

The car roars to life and speeds down the road. The night barely provides light for you to move along. It’s beautiful nevertheless. Stars peek out from the depths of black. The moon is dim yet reassuring. What fate does it have in store for you? Would you accept it if you knew? How could they all look so serene while you have your drunk crush next to you starting an argument?

“And you’d loooove not to do it, wouldn’t you?” Hyeju’s words suggest that she’s no longer that drunk but the way her words come out like jumbled words in a newspaper crossword tell you otherwise. She leans against the door and crosses her arms. “It was a mistake to call you. You, you fucking hate me.”

Does she really believe that? You may hate Daniel, but you never once hated Hyeju. You’ve only had wistful feelings for her even after she kissed him. You still checked up on her socials and watched her as she ate lunch with him. You remained loyal to her, like a dog following its owner through scoldings.

Yeah, you really are just her dog.

“I don’t hate you, Hye,” you say with conviction. You’re determined to make her believe that. It’s difficult when you’ve never been the type to be good with words.

“Yes, you do! You wouldn’t even let me explain why I kissed Daniel!”

“For fuck’s sake, I was hurt! I didn’t know what to do!”

“Then hear me out for once!”

“Alright.” Your hands slap the wheel, unintentionally bumping the horn and causing Hyeju to cringe. “Go on. Tell me what happened.”

“He was the one who kissed me, the fucking idiot! He kissed me out of the blue and wouldn’t stop!”

Wait.

What?

Daniel, your friend and Hyeju’s, initiated the kiss? Hyeju didn’t want it to happen?

If only you knew, you would have beaten up Daniel a long time ago.

You can’t even speak. You had it all wrong. You can’t believe there was an explanation for everything and you refused to hear it.

Hyeju begins to sob again. Her words circle in the air like an incantation. It’s equally because of the alcohol and her emotions. “I was… talking to him about my training, but then he kissed me.” She wipes her face and laughs humorlessly. “He started making out with me and, a-and I didn’t know how to stop it. It was like I was frozen.”

“You… you didn’t kiss him?” Your tone is broken and incredulous. “He made you do it?”

She looks almost offended. “Why? Why would I ever kiss that bastard?”

“But you’re dating him.”

“I am,” says Hyeju, hands in her hair, “Hah, okay. I'm dating him, yeah, but that’s just because I thought you didn’t like me. I only want one person in the world, and it isn’t Daniel Smith.”

“Hyeju—”

“It’s you, you clueless little shit!” She punches your shoulder and muffles her face into your car pillow. Her next scream is elongated, filled with frustration. When she lifts her face from the pillow, her eyeliner and blush are smeared and wet with teardrops. “It’s you, and I only want you!”

In vino veritas.

The confession is as out of the blue as Daniel’s kiss was. You’re in a state of shock and disbelief—too much information is coming into your brain. You want to punch Daniel in the face for shocking her with an unwanted move. You want to hug Hyeju. You want to tell her that you’re sorry for not hearing her side of the story.

Most importantly, you want to tell her that you want her, too.

It’s too late now. She’s seen you disregard her voice and choose to have a one-track mind. There’s no way she wants you anymore.

“Why the fuck would you ever want me, Hyeju?”

“Because!” She lets out a shivering little sigh. “You don’t treat me like… hlk, like I’m a trophy to show off. You’re my friend. You know how to be mean but you take care of me even if I’m too moody sometimes. Even if I don’t want to come along with you outside because I’m scared I’ll make myself look stupid in front of you. Even if… even if I love too hard but don’t show that I love you most and that sometimes you take care of me more than my dad does and I know it’s wrong to see you that way when I’m with him now but I really want you to take care of me but still kiss me too if I need it and be okay with me calling you names like ‘daddy’ and still being your best friend besides being my boyfriend… but I know it can’t happen anymore and I ruined everything—”

“Hyeju.”

More tears flow down her face. “—and I know you won’t ever love me the same again but I’ll regret forever, long after we graduate, that I never showed that I loved you, that I was a coward—”

“Hyeju,” you say, gently. Pull over at the university parking lot. You have your finger on her mouth, sealing them to stop her droning. She pauses. She doesn’t do it without breaking down. “Please. Don’t tell me you don’t know it. It’s been happening under your nose every single day.”

“What?” she murmurs, eyes glassy as they connect with yours.

“I like you, too.”

Silence. Several beats go by. They’re too lengthy to be fake. The next nuance confirms that:

Talk about relief. Talk about passion. As if she’s forgetting that a sudden kiss was what opened Pandora’s box, Hyeju grabs your face and does exactly that. Again, it has too many things to it that blocks it from being faux. The unique shape of her lips mold onto yours, as if your lips were made to kiss each other all the time. It’s back to the café again, wherein she does something and you subconsciously follow along. Your hands are on her phenomenal waist. And soon you’re unbuckling her seatbelt so she could sit safely on your lap, where she’s supposed to be. Where she belongs.

She drops her touch to your shoulders. She massages them, and you groan delightfully. Now it’s your turn to hold her face and lean in closer. Hyeju’s mouth tastes of sweetness and alcohol. You don’t know how those two tastes could mix together. Hyeju makes it work.

“Oppa, daddy,” she whimpers. She pulls away. The distance is still close to nothing. “Daddy, I love you.”

It’s a sudden nickname, still detached from when she uses it with you jokingly, yet there’s no hesitance here. You know your truth. “I love you, too, Hyeju.”

“Will you take me to bed?” She starts grinding down on your shaft needily. “Please say you will, daddy. Please say you’ll make me happy.”

“You’re drunk. I… I don’t know if I should.”

“‘m not. Maybe. But I’ve wanted it to happen for a long time,” Hyeju says. “I won’t mind, I promise.”

She couldn’t get any more sober with that. So you do what any man would do if they were called daddy by Son Hyeju: lift her out of your car, not caring to check twice if it’s locked, and bring her to bed. Take her coat off—she won’t need it if you’ll make her warm from the inside and out.

Her arms round your neck and her face is buried in your chest. Her words come out in a desperate, needy tone that you haven’t heard from her since the day you met. Who exactly were you to make her this small?

Her daddy, of course.

See, as tough as Hyeju makes herself out to be, she’s still needy. She still has her own problems that haven’t let go of her now that she’s older, like the daddy thing. You only fully understand it now when you lay her on the bed and continue kissing her. Hard. Her moans call out for you. They aren’t merely things to whine if it feels good. It’s not even a matter of want anymore; her shivers and cries indicate of her carnal need for you to do what you will with her.

“Don’t be scared,” she tells you, closing her eyes as you kiss her perfect jawline. “You wanted me for so long, right? Well, I did, too. Do what you want to me. Fuck me, daddy.”

“You talk extremely dirty for someone who’s drunk,” you chuckle.

“Not so drunk anymore. You make me sober.”

“Sweet talker. You’re all bark and no bite.”

Hyeju has no retort to make. Your lips on her gorgeous nipple render her speechless. The cute pink nub is hard, and grows harder at your loving suckles. Her breasts are the perfect size for squeezing. Relish in that fact by squeezing her left breast while dedicating more of your attention to the other, making her become sensitive with each action.

You’d say you have bite, for you do so lightly on her breast. She gasps. “Daddy!” she cries out.

“Fuck, don’t say it like that.” Your cock throbs already. It’s the same feeling you get all those times before, the times you’d get into an argument with Hyeju and she’d call you that.

“What? It’s not my fault you can’t handle me,” she says wittily.

“Don’t try me.”

“What?” She cocks a brow. “Hit too close to home?”

You have to shut her bratty self up. Tug her pants off, sliding them off her silky legs. Her pink panties are a hint to the gentle color of her pussy. Find out about them anyway—push the underwear aside and shove three fingers in her.

“Oh shit.” Hyeju’s squeeze on your digits is instant, like an impulsive reaction.

Think about if Daniel has done this to her before and pick up the pace. You’re fingering her like the walls of her soaked pussy would banish him and let you have her all to yourself. “Son Hyeju,” you growl, “shut the fuck up.”

“W-won’t—ah!”

If you don’t make her quiet, you’ll at least reduce her words to pathetic moans. You’d say you’re successful. Your rapid thrusts send Hyeju’s screams paralleling the night wind with their strength.

You’re surprised again and again at how loud she could get. She’s always so quiet except for the occasional sarcastic remark. She can make no more of those if faced with the relentless fingering you do unto her pussy. They draw out strings of dampness when they withdraw, and fill her right to the knuckles when you go back in. Her hips squirm and you have to place a hand on her thigh to continue.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy!” she screams. Her mouth is open while she sits up to look at what you’re doing to her vulnerable cunt. “It feels so fucking good, don’t stop!”

She looks beautiful. Her shirt is lifted above her breasts, making them bounce madly due to the timing and force of your thrusts. Her eyes could never be more watchful. She can’t believe she actually has you between her legs and fingering her to orgasm.

“Got any comeback for me, Hye?” you ask smugly.

Hyeju nods. Her lips are parted again. Although you haven’t had sex with her except for now, you know what that dropped jaw means: she’s close.

Her walls are impossible to part completely. She’s too damn tight that you bet she’d still be so with one finger. The grip of her slippery, wet cunt is like no other. You reach deep into it and stroke out till you find the place. That’s how Hyeju starts to shiver. She can’t manage it.

“Oh, yeah? What do you have to say now, sweet?” Wrap your lips around her nipple. It’s another one of your unfair advantages over her.

“I-I-I—I can’t!”

The recoil of Hyeju’s tits is amazing. Harshly squeeze the boob you’ve relatively neglected to make sure she can’t get a word out of those pretty lips. Take a further step and smack it, too. She moans in satisfaction. Your harsh squeezes imprint a replica of your hand on her pale skin.

Of course, you don’t forget to keep your fingers going. You change techniques now and then, switching from gentle circling to rapid fire shoving. Whether it’s one or the other, Hyeju’s fuckhole swallows you up. She doesn’t mind which or what; she needs your harshness the most. It’s what counts as a whole.

“Daddy, I’m gonna cum! Please make me cum on your fingers, make your babygirl cum… oh—oh, fuck!”

Combined with your thumb nudging her small clit and your digits absolutely destroying her tightness, Hyeju does the unthinkable: she squirts on your hand and on your bed. Liquid gushes on your shirt; it’s so consistent and clear that a new determination is founded within you. It’s to make your unbearably hot best friend cum like she never has.

For the record, it’s the first time you’ve made a girl squirt. You didn’t expect that it would be this satisfying. Seeing Hyeju’s blissful face and the shake of her beautiful legs make your efforts worth it. Watching yourself do it to your best friend and make her feisty, boyish self let out screams and pleas brings increased triumph.

“No, oh god, it’s too much!” Hyeju says this but her legs part more. Her head is tossed back and her moans don’t stop. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, I can’t—daddy!”

“Messy little brat.” Rub away at her clit. Feel the spurt of her cum hit your finger. “That’s it, cum for daddy. Keep those pretty thighs open.”

Hyeju mewls at the mixture of degradation and moans. If Daniel had said that to her, she probably would have thrown up in a bucket. When it’s you, on the other hand, everything changes. She wants you to call her every harsh name out there and accompany it with sides of praise. She’ll only feel this good when she’s with you.

Hyeju is anything but obedient. Things change here in the dorm, where her pussy is spread and prone to your touch. Her midriff, soft yet slender, rises over and over. The hose of her wet orgasms still hasn’t stopped.

“Goddammit, you’re squirting so much. Am I that good, hm, Hyeju? Is daddy that good to his pretty little girl?”

“Mmm, mmm, don't— no more, daddy, no more!” Hyeju’s core is already spent, and you haven’t even put your cock in her yet.

Stop. Not before you leave a kiss to the sensitive bundle of nerves that you abused. It’s a mark now, something invisible that subtly says to everyone that you got to fuck her. You got to fuck Son Hyeju. You made her cum like never before.

Spit on Hyeju’s center then spread it to her lips and nub. She moans. “You’re so wet, Hye.”

“Whatever.” She’s blushing. “I’ve had better.”

You have to say you’re a little provoked. You know it’s false seeing the smug look on her face and after making her squirt, but who exactly has done her better? Daniel? Definitely not him. The possibility still does well to spur you to jealousy.

“Oh,” you say, smiling tightly, “so that’s how it’s gonna be, huh?”

Hyeju gasps happily when she’s pushed to the wall and on her knees. It’s reminiscent of how Daniel did exactly that: pinning her to the wall before kissing her. Your anger brews into a fire just thinking about him.

“Yeah. What’re you gonna do about it?”

Unbuckle your belt. Your jeans join it on the floor as well as your briefs. “I’m gonna clean that dirty mouth of yours.”

“And how are you gonna do that, daddy?” Hyeju pretends not to know what’s coming.

It’s your belief that actions speak louder than words. That’s why when you place your cock in between Hyeju’s lips, it resonates inside her more than your promise to purify her mouth. Logic fails here when dirty sins can’t remove Hyeju’s dirty words. One wrong and another doesn’t make a right. Oh, who cares? This isn’t a class. This isn’t your thesis. You focus only on feeling the softness of her triangular mouth, the wetness of the back of her throat.

Holding your cock by the base, you lead its tip into rubbing every corner of Hyeju’s mouth. Her cheeks make an outline of your girth as you press your head against them. Her jaw becomes slack after you press your dick down to her tongue. You’re technically doing all the work here because you’re fucking her face, but you’d argue that Hyeju contributes just as much with her tearful eyes that are more puppy than wolf.

The shape of her wet orifice leaves ample space for you to rub against everything. Your tip draws a triangle on her lips right before slipping inside. There you keep your word and clean her dirty mouth. Push those naughty words down her throat with immediate thrusts. That way, she can only moan, nothing else. No sass can be heard from her now.

“You’re such a bad girl, Hyeju,” you say. Curl your hand ‘round her messy hair and direct it downwards. She groans, her mouth now upright for yout fuck easier into. “You shouldn’t like having your mouth used like this. You shouldn’t be on your knees for your best friend when your boyfriend’s waiting for you at home.”

Hyeju knows you’re right. She shouldn’t. She isn’t supposed to enjoy having her throat rammed and spread. She shouldn’t be cheating on the man she claims to love. It’s a mistake of hers to be here anyway, underneath another man.

Her second mistake is to like everything the way it is..

Her third is to tongue your shaft like she would a sweet treat. She wants to taste all of you, from your thick tip to the base. She’s not had much to work on with Daniel, but she knew it would be a good time when you sprung out your cock. She makes this worth it—she seals her lips at your base, her nose pressed firmly at the bottom of your tummy, then produces such a harsh suction that the grip you have in her black locks of messy hair tightens. A curse is what you let out besides precum.

“Fuck,” you say. Pull her head closer. Aggressive thrusts fire away. “Didn’t know your pouty little lips could suck dick so well. I bet it’s bulging your throat. Is daddy right about that?”

She tries to nod. Her gags stop her intended action; your thrusts have sped up and are now destroying her tight throat. No space is left for her to breathe when her mouth is stuffed with your length. Even her nostrils can’t take in much air if her nose is pressed that tightly to your stomach.

Place a hand on the wall in order for there to be no aches for her head when you thrust wildly. “You know, I changed my mind. Maybe you’re a good girl, especially with that face. Go on, touch yourself. I know you want to.”

Permission is granted by her daddy. Hyeju gives a cry in response then leads her hand between her legs. Letting you fuck her face has made her wet beyond imagination. She doesn’t need to press directly on her pussy when there’s slick all over her thighs. She gathers them all up and places them back in her pussy. She moans as she swirls her digits inside her. Here’s how it works: she has one hand masturbating, and the other on your thigh to caress it and at the same time keep her balance.

Take note of that. “You’re a smart girl, Hyeju. Smart girls shouldn’t be letting their faces get fucked. We can’t have that happen, right?”

You say that yet your actions tell a different story. Your violent pumps into Hyeju’s mouth to use it to the limits are endless. Hyeju’s moaning. She enjoys it more than she should. Of course, you jam those moans, as pretty as they are, down her throat.

Slap your cock on her lips.

“You know what I mean.”

Slip the whole of your length out then in again. Make her brush those luscious lips against every inch.

“We really, really can’t have that happen.”

Caress her cheek. Her eyes are awaiting and obedient. Look down into them and almost feel bad for ruining her, your best friend.

“Daniel might walk in anytime. He’ll be looking for you.”

Your movements are cruel as time goes by. You shouldn’t be treating your best friend like this. You shouldn’t even be having sex with her. All of these ought to stop you in your tracks—you don’t.

“And what will he say when he sees his precious girlfriend on her knees for his best friend?”

Hyeju begins to whine. She doesn’t want him to walk in; she’s enjoying this too much. What she doesn’t want to happen even more is for you not to blow your load inside her warm throat. People can’t have what they want all the time, but she swears she won’t want anything else if you just give her what she wants. That’s for you to absolutely use her. Be cruel to her and it wouldn’t sting.

“He’ll start to think how better you are with me. You’re a bad girl, Hyeju. You know that and you still want me.”

You’re right in every way. She is better with you. You just fuck her better, treat her better, kiss her better. She can’t kiss better the wound she’ll leave in Daniel if he just so happens to walk in. Maybe she could, but she’d put salt on it when he discovers how good you make her feel. It isn’t fair to anybody. To you, the one she accidentally hurt; to Daniel, who was the one (no, make that the two with how he was her last resort and how she gave him false hope); to her, who can’t go without you.

“Let go.”

Nine.

It takes exactly nine strokes in between her folds for her to cum. Drool sheens your girth. Some even drip from her mouth. It’s like she’s in heat; she’s whining as she tries to cum and suck you off at the same time. Hyeju ends up sucking your shaft with desperation, legs quivering and threatening to give away.

“Cum with me, Hyeju,” you command her. Pull out, rather regretfully, but take comfort with how pretty she’d look covered in your cum. Your hand wraps around you and jerks you off. Although it can’t match Hyeju’s mouth or her ass, it’ll do well in shooting your load on her.

Your best friend keeps calling your name squeezed between “daddy”s as she fingers herself to orgasm. She collapses pathetically on the floor, in a pool of sweat and cum. Her shirt and the floor of your shared dorm room are stained. No need to wonder where those white stains come from; the only suspects are you and Hyeju. It’s a partnered crime for her squirt comes out at such a velocity that it rivals your cumshots.

“Take my load, Hyeju, fuck!”

If there’s anything Hyeju isn’t, it’s submissive. It somehow changes when she nods and opens her mouth. You’re introduced to a whole new side of her. Her post-orgasm face is one you hope to admire everyday. Look at the expressions she makes when her eyes are crossed and her tongue is out for you and you have difficulty choosing between the two.

You and Hyeju exchange a tired look. If you’re to be specific, a look is how everything starts. You became friends with her because she was staring at you too long a time in class. You quickly reunited with her in college when you looked to your back to see to whom the familiar voice belonged. It took one quick glance to see that Daniel had kissed her in the noraebang.

Similarly, a look is what causes you to shamelessly throw Hyeju on the bed again. By now her limbs curl into yours like this were a completely natural thing that happened between you, as if she were always being fucked and manhandled like this. Your kisses now are more aggressive, too. They aren’t nervous like earlier, when you still weren't sure if doing this was right. Hyeju responds by engaging in a battle for dominance, pushing forward and pulling the forces connecting you.

You win in the end.

Slam her back down to the mattress. Her anticipation is written clearly in her eyes. “I’m going to ruin you, Son Hyeju,” you say.

She laughs in your face. “Bet.”

Alright. You’ll show her. It’s a friendly bet you’ll take all seriousness in.

Align your dick with her waiting cunt. You shed all attempts to tease her or dive into foreplay. What she needs is your cock inside her, rearranging her insides. If that’s so, you’ll give it to her.

“Oh!” Hyeju gasps. Her pretty eyes are big above her hands covering her face. She never guessed you would feel this good inside her. “You’re so fucking big, daddy. It's, it’s better than I imagined, fffuck.”

Steer all your weight into this thrust specifically. Your tip makes contact with her G-spot and sends her legs shaking. Send her a couple inches further on the mattress. Her godly tits begin another round of bouncing. There’s no other routine you’d love to watch.

Already you've put your hands on her hips. They’re to pull her closer if she gets lost. Again. You have to make sure you won’t lose her this time. This chance was given to you for a reason. You have to keep her here, show her all the love you’ve kept bottled up all these years.

Hyeju squirms a lot. That’s what your grip is for. It’s to keep her on the bed so she can easily receive your pumps. And what a good job she does at receiving them—Hyeju’s hips shiver as they’re subjected to a force her sensitive pussy can’t handle. She’s always going into things she can’t handle. This is no different. Time with Daniel was okay, but you’re a different story. You ensure that she’s always filled to the hilt until she’s bottoming out.

Deeper and deeper you go. Your cock knocks up into her tummy. You curse; it’s hotter than it’s supposed to be. Something as simple as that shouldn’t be so arousing.

“Oh, you like that? You… you like seeing your big cock stuffing my little pussy?” asks Hyeju. Her teeth are parted to let in air she so desperately needs to formulate these words. She knows they’ll turn you on. “I know you do, daddy. Look at your meat ruining my insides. You’re going to cum so much inside me. And I’ll take it all. I’m a good girl. I’ll show you I’m a good girl.”

She leads your hand to her throat and closes your digits around it. Get the message. Squeeze there tight. Her strangled gasp is everything.

“You are, huh?” you say. Your composure is long gone. “Are you always this tight, Hyeju? Are you always this good? Or is it just for daddy?”

There’s something incredibly hot in the way Hyeju gushes and screams for you. Her nipples stand in the air, aroused by the quick penetrating done to her pussy. It seems almost impossible for her to be this wet. Each push of your hips brings forth a gush of wetness that wets the sheets and your joined crotches. Bring out your cock for a second to quickly flick its tip on her clit.

Hyeju gropes her own chest with closed eyes. “Ohhhh, fuck!”

Return to your routine of drilling her. Her whole body reacts violently to your pounding. Moreover, every part of Hyeju’s beautiful body screams to be touched. Her jiggling thighs and breasts, her midriff prone to your thrusts, her face that’s never looked this slutty… where should you start? Your touch is given multiple choices, and you choose all of them. Your hands roam her body and squeeze and feel and grope. In response, she moans. The volume of her acute voice turns up with each, almost like her body has triggers that would draw out louder sounds.

You think of it that way and now Hyeju’s screaming as you propel inside her while keeping a hand on her clit.

“Daddy, o-only you, daddy!” she proclaims in a helpless scream. “No one can make me feel as good as you do, just keep fucking me, don’t stop!”

You’ve got your answer. Smile in satisfaction and, since she’s a good girl and gave the correct response, lean it to worship her breasts. Does slapping them count as worshiping? Hyeju thinks it does—her high groans and yells are enough to be context clues. You marvel at the size of her chest, so subtle with the baggy clothes she wears but now in their full, naked glory before you. It’s impossible for them to be presented to you without a squeeze being done.

“You like my tits, daddy? I’ll let you fuck them all you want, just finish inside me. I’m safe today. Promise, p-pro—”

Bury yourself deep inside her, to the point that your cockhead pushes at her cervix. Fill her up. Hyeju moans happily. She rolls her body up and down. The stimulation seduces you into making (kind of) breeding her a job well done.

“Thank you, daddy.” she sighs. She’s still erotically grinding her hips. It’s karma for overstimulating her a little earlier when your fingers filled her.

“S-stop, Hyeju.”

“Stop? Alright, sure. I think that’s enough now. Daddy doesn’t want to fuck my tits anymore.”

Naughty little brat. She knows just the right words to tick you off and turn you on. It makes you want her to pound her into the bed again so that not even the old mattress can forget that it was the place you and Hyeju fucked.

“I’m just kidding, silly. Sit down! Yes, thank you.”

She flashes you a smile after you do as she says. It’s a rare moment in this session with her that she has the say in what happens. Somehow. It can’t be completely true, not when she’s on her knees again for you. Not when her tongue trails worshipful lines on your cock and draws tight licks on your tip. Shiver. You’re a bit sensitive yourself.

“Now see how good this feels?”

She takes her glorious breasts in her hands and wraps them around your cock. You let out a guttural moan. Hyeju’s tits rival her mouth and pussy. It’s a close competition, with the advantage of softness most of all. Oh, when she starts to move, gliding her supple skin up and down your size, you almost cum on the spot.

Her bosom is a portal to heaven, you swear. Your legs feel light. Your core is hot as your size disappears between her breasts, buried in the soft and safe haven she provides. The friction is so overwhelming that you doubt it could even be a real sensation.

She makes a show of rubbing your tip on her nipple, similar to what you did to her clit. The two of you are sensitive, so you moan in harmony as it happens. After gliding your cock on her large breasts, she goes back to titfucking you.

It’s all a matter of technique. Whenever she presses her chest together, your cock is suffocated with euphoric tenderness. On the other hand, when she simply moves up and down, you’re given the opportunity to grind down at the skin between her pale breasts. Each route leads to an inevitable fate: exploding all over her a second time.

"P-please stop, Hyeju," you say. You can't handle no more and there's so many more things you want to do to her.

"Awh." She pouts. Fat tears risk spilling from her eyes. God, she could be so cute sometimes. "What do you want, daddy? I can be good."

"Turn around."

"Ohhh, I see what you want." Hyeju turns around and spanks herself. Her ass ripples photogenically. "Of course. Of course you want it."

Hyeju can be so many things. A few minutes earlier she was a submissive babygirl for her daddy, and right before that she was a brat. Now, she transforms into a seductress. She doesn't lace or lingerie to become one. She has that fantastic body to do the work for her.

Hyeju starts to dance. Your eyes are trained on her. They never want to see anything else than her swaying her butt with a dancer's grace and charm.

"Giving me a show, huh?"

"Unless daddy wants it already."

"I do."

She squeezes her ass cheek before reaching her pussy. Then, she rubs her wetness on her pink, puckered hole. She lathers some at the inside of the rim, too. She didn't expect to fuck you today, no matter how many times she's dreamed of it, so there's no lubricant around. Hyeju has to make do.

"Oh!" she squeals when you give her a playful smack on the ass. "Impatient. Daddy's impatient. Don't worry, I'll give it to you."

“You did this before?”

“Duh.” Hyeju smiles sweetly, quickly returning to her good girl side. “You ready now, daddy?”

Apparently, it’s a rhetorical question, for Hyeju immediately guides your tip into her backside. You do your part in spreading her cheeks. Both of you moan at the first contact. It’s difficult by itself to insert just your tip through. She’s too tight.

You’re sinking into this long-chased dream. You’ve seen Hyeju walk around the dorm with no shorts on. Sometimes you're able to catch a glimpse of her bare ass when she dresses up in the dark. It’s normal when it’s with you, considering that your friendship transcends time, but she doesn’t know that yearning’s been put in your heart in those moments. You want her. You want Son Hyeju.

And now, she’s submitting herself to you. She’s given you her body, her tits, her pussy. Now she offers you an equally delicious choice: her supple ass that’s bouncy as it finally sits down completely on your lap.

“Good daddies bounce their babygirls on their knees, right? Should’ve known that, dummy. So come on, pound me. It isn’t hard.”

Well, you are. Hyeju’s ass is constricting you yet you enjoy every second of it. Her tight little asshole clings to you as you do as she says. You’d do anything for Hyeju, and that doesn’t exclude engaging in anal sex with her.

Choose a rhythm to go by to enjoy the tightness Hyeju gives you to the fullest. She leans into you and hums quietly, lower lip worried between her teeth and ass steadily rising and resting. The flexes of your thigh also stimulate her needy pussy. Your knee brushes her clit steadily while your cock penetrates her asshole better than any toy could. Better than any boy would.

“Oh, that feels so good, daddy…” Hyeju murmurs. “Keep spreading me like that, yes.”

Just when she thought you’d switch to being gentle, your thrusts become sporadic. She can’t find which timings you’re going by. The calm before the storm, so to say. Hyeju’s whimpers and whines are your thunder, and they soon live up to their name when they grow louder, filling your ears as would the violent downpour of raindrops.

“D-daddy, daddy, oh my god—” Pain partners up with pleasure in wrecking her hole. Darn you for reaching in front of her to rub her clit as well. Too many things are happening at the same time. “Daddy better make me cum, please, please—”

Your size fills the tight space of her ass so much that it’s difficult to move. The juices of her pussy that she’s used as makeshift lube can’t even do the job they’re assigned to. However, you don’t care about that. You simply fuck Hyeju’s fat, delectable ass like it’s been your long-term dream. In a way it is, but you’d be dreaming about it long after it’s already been fulfilled.

Hyeju stands up to take the lead and work her butt on you. You know she’s an excellent dancer but you never knew she could be this good at twerking either.

“Holy shit, Hyeju, your little asshole feels amazing,” you moan. Spank her, though she’s undeserving of punishment when she’s amazing at using that ass.

“And your cock is so fucking big in my ass,” she says. “I don’t want anything else, daddy. Ohh, god, keep doing that.”

Her rear end bounces and claps together as they take in your fat cock. She looks back at you lustfully, watching you ruin her supple ass. Reach for her breasts to match the velocity of her thrusts. You’re two forces colliding, each filled with fire to defeat the other with pleasure. It’s a losing game when Hyeju’s ass is just as good as her pussy, which you continue playing with to bring her to orgasm.

“Good girl, Hye, keep bouncing that fat ass on daddy,” you whisper in her ear. Love to hear her weak little moans; they show you that she likes this as much as you do. Probably more. “You want to cum, right? You want to squirt on me again?”

“Yes, daddy, please!” Hyeju is in paradise although her skin feels like it’s been set on fire. She hasn’t felt this good before. “No other cock can do me the way you do, daddy, I’m all yours! Make me cum, cum inside me, daddy!”

You’ve changed her. She’s a totally different person outside of the bedroom. She hides her approval in sarcastic comments and teases you about them. How is it that she’s completely submissive and good for you?

Your ego swells. Smack her pussy just enough to make her gasp. “Whose pussy is this?”

“Yours, daddy!”

“And this ass?”

“It’s all yours, daddy,” sobs Hyeju. “Always so fucking big inside me, so much better, you need to make me cum—”

Pull her down to your lap then thrust inside her all while not letting an inch withdraw from her snug butthole. “Cum for me,” you say.

“Ohhhh fuck!”

Hyeju begins her sexy body rolls again as a profane spray of clear liquid fires from her pussy. She’s so wet; when you rub her clit, a squelching sound is produced. She’s too turned on from the feeling of you savage pounding inside her. She slaps her own pussy to go along with your rubbing, then leads your fingers inside her cunt again. She’s still so tight.

The combined feeling of two of her holes being violated has her tired. She could be murmuring a spell and you wouldn’t know because of how jumbled and jarred her words are. The syllables make out your name and title. At least, that’s what you could understand. It would take an experienced veteran transcriber to make sense of Hyeju’s sounds.

You blast her ass with so much cum that it overflows, like water threatening to spill from the brim of a glass. Your joined cores are so wet and sticky that neither of you feel like moving. You want to stay in the narrow yet pleasurable comfort of each other’s touch forever.

It’s so pleasant that you could only hear the gratifying sound of each other’s pants and not the knocks on your door.

So safe that you don’t hear the sound of a lock being skewered with because each other’s bodies are more homely than this dorm.

So distracting that when he comes in through the door and yells in disgust, it’s the first time you feel an awakening sobriety.

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lynnsquared · 3 months

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Who you belong to || gp!Hyeju x f!Reader

an : to the anon that requested this hiii baby i'm sorry this took me so long 😭🙏 i hope even tho it took forever (for reasons i will not force upon you innocent tumblrinas) you still love it and u dont mind the fact that i am clearly inexperienced at writing gp 😎🤙 btw guys this is my first actual fic post so plzz enjoy there will def be more in the future :) cw : big dick hyeju 🙏, dom!hyeju/sub!reader, jealous!hyeju, hyeju calls u a slut a bunch so degradation, creampie, SOOYOUNG MENTION!111!!!11!!11!!, idek 😭 barely proofread also wc : 1.5k

All Hyeju could do was huff when she pumped her fingers in and out of your cunt. Tears welled up in your eyes as Hyeju scolded you. How could you ever be so stupid? It was one thing to flirt with Sooyoung, but another to flirt with Sooyoung in front of your girlfriend. Whether it was actually flirting or simply being touchy didn’t matter to her. All that mattered was that it happened and that she hated it.

Hyeju had you sandwiched between the wall of your room and her body. She lifted your leg high to give her “easier access” to your pussy, and she didn’t care how uncomfortable it was for you. In this moment, she only cared about making you remember who you belonged to; You did.

"You like this, don’t you? You like when my fingers abuse your pussy?" Hyeju brought her mouth to your ear and degraded you with a low growl. She could feel her dick throbbing in her pants as she watched how your body responded to her, noting the way you squirmed and moaned every time she rammed her fingers into your hole with loud smacks. "You’re such a slut.. Flirting with other women in front of me just to get horny when I punish you for it? Such a slut.."

The only things you could muster for responses were pathetic whines and pleas, begging her to slow down. Hyeju, of course, didn't. With every plea, her touch only got rougher, and her growls only got lower. Your body didn't seem to care how bad it hurt. You could feel yourself clench around Hyeju's fingers. From that familiar clench, she knew you were about to cum.

"Hm, you're cumming already?" She questioned, slowing her thrusts down just a bit. When you nodded, she spoke again with a low laugh, "Yeah.. not yet."

The moment you felt your mind turning blank with pleasure, Hyeju took her fingers out of your folds. As you whimpered, upset your climax was taken from you, you could hear Hyeju unzipping her jeans. Promptly, you heard them hit the floor. With her boxers still on, she started grinding her cock against your pussy, laughing when you moaned from the shock. "I bet your needy pussy wants my cock, hm?"

What you hated the most was that she was right. You felt a bit empty without her filling you up. Even though she was mad at you, her behavior made you hornier than ever. Heat shot up to your face and flushed it. As a ramification of that, tears welled up in your eyes. Hyeju noticed almost immediately, groaning as she continued to grind, "Is my little slut crying? Do you want my dick that bad?"

"I-I want… I want it.." All you could do was stutter and nod as tears streamed down your face. Hyeju gripped your chin and smirked at the sight, loving how your mascara left streaks on your cheeks.

"Are you sure? Are you sure you deserve my cock?" You nodded weakly again. "Speak up, slut. Tell me how bad you want me to claim you."

You could barely speak as you whimpered, trying to figure out what to say to please her. You didn't want to sound too needy because you were worried that she wouldn't fuck you at all as an extension of your punishment, but you were. With a long whine, you eventually stuttered out a pathetic, "W-wan' your cock so bad, Hyeju. Want to feel you fill me.."

The instant your words fell on Hyeju's ears, she pulled her cock from her boxers and slammed it into you without warning. Both of you gasped as your cunt consumed all seven thick inches with a tight clench. While her gasp came from the pleasurable feeling of your tight walls hugging her dick, yours came from the shock of her tip hitting your cervix. Though there was a sharp pain that came as her cock penetrated your pussy, you were so desperate to cum that it didn't matter.

"Hm, fuck, you like that?" When she spoke to you, her voice was breathy and slightly teasing. She started to rock her hips a bit, moving her cock inside of you and moaning as she did so. She was so big, you almost couldn’t take it. A smirk formed on Hyeju's face as she felt your walls tighten around her. "Would you clench like that for Sooyoung, slut?"

"No, only you," You cried out, tears continuing to stream down your cheeks as Hyeju began to pump her dick in and out of your cunt rapidly, "...Only want you, Hyeju."

"That’s what I thought." Hyeju started to pant as she shifted your position, now fully pushing you against the wall and holding you up by both of your legs as she continued to pound her cock into you. The only sounds in the room were Hyeju's heavy breathing, your pathetic whimpers, and the wet slapping of Hyejus balls hitting your ass. It was safe to say these noises only turned you on more.

Hyeju's hands gripped your thighs tightly. If you could see them, there would be indents from her nails. The visual reminders that you were hers, such as the nail indents or the mascara streaks, made Hyeju coo. She knew that no matter how much you flirt with another woman, only she could fuck you like this. Only she could leave marks on you like this.

With the amount of times Hyeju had called you a slut, you felt yourself starting to believe it. You believed it the most when you felt your orgasm approaching just mere minutes after her thick cock began to pierce you. What kind of woman gets touchy with another girl and cums when her girlfriend punishes her by using her like a toy? A slut does.

You could feel that Hyeju was going to cum quickly as well, as her pent-up frustration likely made her more sensitive. Her pace quickened, her cock twitched inside of your tight walls, and her breath began to get airier. She groaned before moving you from the wall to your bed, ramming herself into you again after she heard you whine for more.

"Still whining, huh?" She ridiculed. As she quickened her pace, you felt her dick hitting every spot it needed to. With every thrust you could feel yourself clenching harder and harder as you were painfully close to cumming.

"Fuck, if you keep clenching, I'll cum too," Hyeju leaned down and grunted into your ear as both of you felt your highs approaching. Between her heavy pants, Hyeju's voice turned from aggressive to genuine with one statement:

"Can I cum inside?"

With that simple phrase, you felt yourself let loose completely. Though you stuttered out a pathetic moan of permission, you couldn't quite figure out what part of that caused such an extreme reaction. Maybe it was the sudden tenderness in her tone, but you decided not to dwell on it as you allowed yourself to fully embrace your orgasm.

As yours came, Hyeju's orgasm followed. The way your body tensed as you came felt too good around her cock. She couldn't help but shoot her hot seed into you before pulling out. As she pulled away, she backed up a little to see the mixture of your cum leaking out of your pussy and cooed. Without saying a word, she plugged the mix of liquids up with two fingers, eliciting you to let out a sharp whine.

Hyeju flopped down next to you and sighed, looking at you with sultry eyes. With a slight chuckle, she took her fingers away from your core and brought them to your mouth. You began to suck the slick from her fingers, moaning a bit as you did so to please her.

"Do you remember who you belong to now?" She asked, beginning to gently caress your arm. You were so fucked-out, all you could do was nod. "No, baby, you need to use your words."

"You, Hyeju.. I belong to you.." She hummed at your response before leaning in and pressing open-mouth kisses down your neck. As your initial horniness faded, you now felt a need to apologize to Hyeju for rubbing up on another woman. "I'm sorry for being clingy with sooyoung. Only you could fuck me like this.. I could only belong to you."

"That's right." You could feel her lips curve into a sinister smile as she bit down, sucking on the sensitive skin of your neck to leave a hickey. "I'm glad you can acknowledge it now, but don't ever put yourself in a situation where you need to acknowledge it again."

And again, she pulled away. She brought herself back to your level and brushed hair out of your face as you cooed, nuzzling into her like nothing had happened. You found that this was the most comfortable way to fall asleep; Your brain was fried from Hyeju fucking you, both of you were sweaty and worn out, and cum was leaking from your pussy and staining the sheets. Yes, you regretted hurting her, but a part of you was thankful you woke up Hyeju's jealous side.

#lynn's fics #loona x reader #loona x fem reader #loona smut #loossemble x reader #hyeju x reader #hyeju x fem reader #son hyeju x reader #son hyeju smut #girl group x fem reader #girl group smut #gxg smut #im sorry if this is actual poop from a butt i suck shit at writing gp #thank u for the req anonie

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chunksworld · 1 year

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Sparks

Loosemble Hyeju x Male Reader | Tags: (Fluff, Smut) | girlfriend!Hyeju

A/N 1: A sequel to Sober. Big thanks as always to @kaedespicelatte for beta reading this piece.

A/N 2: Happy birthday to my lovely wife. Hopefully her 21st birthday celebration is much more festive than mine.

—————————

“How long do you think it would’ve taken us to start dating if it wasn’t for that party?”

The cool breeze of the night time wind brings an unparalleled comforting feeling; the same can’t be said for your racing heart as she leans her head on your shoulder. The question floats in the air; a moment of silence and your eyes wander up to the night sky—far from the rest of Seoul; far from the bustling metropolis affixed with skyscrapers and the dreaded sense of urgency they bring. Another midnight drive out to a quaint part of the city; a scenic view providing an opportunity to take a wondrous glance at the skyline. The city remains the same. Your relationship with Hyeju, however, has taken on a new label twenty one years in the making.

She’s now your girlfriend—not just in your recurring dreams in which you envision her in your arms with the brightest smile on her face. It’s not just a wish anymore, when you would spend sleepless nights wondering whether you will ever get the opportunity to date her; whether you even deserved to get such an opportunity in the first place. Every single doubt and worry is buried with each passing day that you can call her yours.

Hands intertwined not only to provide warmth on this cold November night but also to show just how much your relationship with her has grown. “I don’t know.” Rub her hands with yours to provide warmth though the running engine underneath the hood of your car you two are currently sitting on does the same.

“A couple months, maybe? I mean you were making it so obvious that you liked me.” A smirk, then the stinging pain left as she lightly punches you in the arm—cheeks reddening which makes her look even cuter than she already is.

“Jerk. If you knew then why didn’t you say anything, huh?” A playful glare from the wolf as she looks up at you but even the briefest of eye contact at such close proximities makes her extremely shy—which is ironic since she’s always the one that initiates your makeout sessions. Something about the fact that you’re not just her childhood best friend anymore but also her boyfriend is enough to spark the butterflies in her stomach. Years upon years of unrequited love and wondering about the what-ifs has finally paid off. But nothing much has changed between the two of you.

She’s still that same Hyeju you’ve known for the better part of your life. That same Hyeju that you grew up with. That same Hyeju that never fails to grab the opportunity to tease you; that same Hyeju that would always hold hands with you around campus; that same competitive Hyeju you only see during game nights; that same tsundere Hyeju who is so deeply in love with you that she was willing to harbor her feelings for twenty years until she had no choice but to finally reveal her feelings. The only difference is that she’s yours now.

But never beyond your wildest dreams would you have thought that you would be experiencing such a moment with her. You thought you would forever be stuck on the sidelines; perhaps evolve into fuck buddies and never progress any further than that. Or worse, she would find someone better—someone perhaps more deserving of her love and everything it brings to your relationship. But above everything else, you were afraid that you would burn the bridge with your best friend.

“Cuz I didn’t know if you were just playing around. Not trying to get my hopes up, you know?”

A moment of silence fills the atmosphere once again, then you feel her lips make contact with your cheeks. “I’m sorry.” Feel the subtle squeeze of her hands; her features illuminated by the full moon as she moves closer to you. “I didn’t want to lose what we had.” A deep exhale creating a trail of vapor in the thin air; her captivating eyes staring deep into your soul; a manifesto of feelings that leaves you scrambling in its wake.

“I don’t want to imagine my life without you.”

Only Hyeju can rip your heart to shreds and build it back up to complete functionality with one statement. Only she can leave you in a whirlwind of emotions with ease. A rare moment of vulnerability from your girlfriend; a side of hers that she only shows to you and no one else. More than the euphoria it provides, it makes you want to protect her with everything you have and to ensure that you will have more moments like these with her.

But the feeling is mutual. One month without her was already hell; and just the thought of living the rest of your life without the only person you care about in the entire universe is a punishment you wouldn’t wish even on your worst enemies. She’s just as important to your existence as it is to breathe. And without her, you are only a shell of yourself.

Rough, calloused hands make their way onto her face. “Fucking hell, Hye….” They shiver as they make contact with her porcelain skin; the gravity of her words and the wintry weather of Seoul makes it an uphill battle to maintain such composure. She’s never one to openly express her feelings, and it’s clear how affected she is by her words just as much as you are.

Likewise you’re equally as capable of taking her breath away just as much as she does with yours. Mere inches separate the two of you as you lean your face dangerously close–you take this opportunity to appreciate just how beautiful she truly is. Not even the seven wonders of the world can compare to the sight in front of you, and you want to cherish every single moment with her as if it’s your last. That’s how much you love Son Hyeju, and she deserves to hear it from you every single day.

“God, I love you so fucking much.”

A supernova of emotions, enough to spark fireworks in her heart. The trembling of her lips; the shakiness of her eyes; the light tint of red on her cheeks; the synchronization of heartbeats signifying a connection spanning two decades. It’s only natural when your lips finally meet hers, arms wrapping carefully around her waist while she does the same to your neck. Unlike your other makeout sessions, this kiss is devoid of lust but rather full of your love and passion for each other.

The way Hyeju whimpers as you gently nibble on her lower lip–tasting her strawberry lip balm; the way you can feel her clutch her fingers around your neck as you slip your cold fingers underneath her hoodie to feel more of her; such actions make her even more resistible and you want to make sure that she knows just how much you cherish her, just how much she means to you. Even more so as you gently lay her on the steel surface, hovering above her as you deepen the kiss.

Whenever you’re with her, nothing else in the world matters. Not the fact that her parents don't necessarily approve of your relationship—they initially thought you two were joking around when you finally made it official. Nor the fact that your own parents don't approve either–they think Hyeju is too much of a “rebel” for their liking. But that’s what makes her more attractive in your eyes; the fact that she’s not like the others; she’s an enigma, your enigma. And considering that you two didn’t even think you would be dating, you could care less about their opinions.

Much more so when she’s squirming and blushing under your touch. Her addictive scent drives you crazier and crazier as you move lower to leave kisses on her neck, placing soft and gentle kisses followed by intense and needy ones—enough to form deep purple marks; enough to show everyone that Hyeju is yours and nothing can take her away from you. More whimpers and soft moans as you finish marking her, leaving her breathless as unfocused eyes try their absolute best to latch on to you. Then another tender kiss on her lips for good measure.

Minus the sound of crickets chirping in the vicinity and your bated breaths, it’s completely silent. Silent enough for you to sense her heart that only beats for you. Brush loose strands of her hair aside; then she flashes that bright, gummy smile of hers–sending shockwaves to your fragile heart like it usually does. Lay down right beside her; feel her soft hand reach out for yours as you return to your original position fifteen minutes ago.

Midnight drives have always been your favorite thing to do with her–even when you two were just childhood best friends that had painfully obvious attraction towards one another; and more so now that you two are dating. There’s something about the tranquility and calmness; the calm despite the storm; the added intimacy of being able to open up to each other without being judged by everyone else. But above all, you can throw everything else away and focus all of your attention on her.

Just like right now as you both look up at the stars. Without the artificial light created by the skyscrapers, they’re much more luminous as they take sole possession of the night sky. Just like how Hyeju has taken sole possession of your entire being. She is irreplaceable, always will be. And even though she does not explicitly state it, she feels the same way about you. Like the laws of physics, such an axiom proved to be true time and time again.

First proof: senior year of high school when she got ditched by her prom date; you’ve never seen her so distraught yet look so stunning at the same time, especially when she spent the entire week talking about how excited she was. She’s never one to cry and to see her on the brink of tears as you comforted her on the passenger seat of your car still haunts you to this day. Needless to say, you spent the rest of the night eating a tub of ice cream with her in your apartment, trying your best to cheer her up even though it isn’t necessarily your forte—while secretly wanting to beat up the idiot that stood her up. It was at that point that she realized how lucky she is to have you by her side.

Second proof: finals week of your freshman year in college when she helped you with a statistics project that you procrastinated on for three months. Did she tell you to work on it early? Yes. Did you receive plenty of scolding from her? Yes, there’s nothing more terrifying—and adorable—than an angry Hyeju. Did you insist heavily that she didn’t have to help you? Yes, but her willpower is way stronger than yours. And with her assistance, you were able to finish it by pulling consecutive all nighters and passed the class with a respectable grade. In return, you took her on a road trip that summer where you made so many memories—a gesture that made her fall in life with you even harder.

A poke on your cheeks as she gives you another kiss on the lips. “Hey, are you okay? You’ve been spacing out for like five minutes.”

“Sorry. Just thinking about stuff.”

“Like what?” She sits up and you do the same, feet dangling off the vehicle.

“Like how lucky I am to have you.”

You don’t miss the way she bites her lips to try and hide her smile, turning away from you. “Tch. You and your cheesy words….” This is the fifth time you’ve made her blush in the span of thirty minutes, and it can’t be good for her heart. Flashbacks to your first date arises, when it felt like you two were just meeting each other for the very first time.

There was something familiar about her, yet so different. From the moment you two sat down at that diner you’ve always wanted to bring her to, up until the point when it was time to get the bill and she refused to make you pay for the entire meal. Everything remained the same; the way she laughed, the way she smiled that beautiful smile, the way she complained about how much her unnies teased her, the way she would carefully brush her hair to the side whenever she eats.

Except everything else felt different. She would laugh a little harder at your jokes; she was more confident when it came to holding your hands; she blushed heavily when the waitress asked if you two were a couple—as opposed to her usual disgusted reaction. The atmosphere was different, much more so when she gave you a kiss on the cheeks as you dropped her off at her apartment. You might as well have scored a buzzer-beater with the way you were screaming in joy as soon as she got out of your car.

“Well, clearly you like it.” That she can’t deny, though she will never admit it to you—despite her facial expressions failing to hide anything.

Or perhaps not. “What if I say I do, huh? What are you gonna do?” Despite the hundreds of billions of stars that make up the universe, they can never compare to how much she shines. She may not be as bright and bubbly like Jiwoo and Yerim, or as energetic as Yeojin—but when she’s with you, she’s more confident and comfortable.

“I’m gonna keep on being your cheesy boyfriend then.” A nudge of her shoulders; then she rolls her eyes.

“Hmph, it’s not like I asked for it…” But nothing can beat tsundere Hyeju; when she’s at her cutest and most attractive. Even though the smile on her face negates any chance of you actually believing what she’s saying. If she could, she would tell you to keep saying sweet things to her; though such a request could cause her heart to explode every time you do it. She was never one to be receptive to compliments—but when it’s from you, Hyeju melts into putty.

Two can play that game; and being around each other for such a long time allows you to perfectly counter her bantering. “Weren’t you the one that seduced me that night?” It takes no less than a second for you to receive another punch on the arm, this one much stronger than the previous. And now, her face might as well turn red—only you can cause her to be in such a state of disarray.

“It’s because you were taking too long to make a move, you idiot!” A rare pout from the wolf; burying her face on your shoulders as she tries to hide again. But you weren’t going to let her get away this time. Place a hand on her shoulders as a timid Hyeju confronts you.

“Well I’m sorry too. I was worried about our friendship. Didn’t wanna take such a huge risk.”

“I know, I understand.” Snow begins to fall, gradually turning the surroundings to a bright hue of white. “I’ve never been so nervous in my entire life up until that night. If I screwed everything up, I might never be able to talk to you again. Or do this.” Then she leans over to give you another kiss on the cheeks.

By this point, your own cheeks have turned red as well—thankfully you can use the blistering cold temperature as an excuse. “But you didn’t screw up. And look at us now.”

“Right? I can’t believe it’s been seven months already.” You bring her hand inside the pocket of your hoodie to keep it warm while she snuggles closer to you.

“Yeah, it only felt like yesterday when we finally decided to move in together.” A decision that should have been made a long time ago—except you were worried about what the implication of living with your childhood best friend would be when you were not dating her yet at that time. It turned out to be a wise financial decision as you two expected; she finally had enough money to pay off her car, and you could finally start paying off your bills.

“Oh yeah, speaking of which. You still haven’t told anyone where our new apartment is?”

“No, because the unnies are gonna be there every single damn week and I know you’re gonna hate it.”

“I mean I’m cool with them. I think you’re the one that’s gonna hate it.”

“Well I just don’t have the energy to deal with them at times.”

“I’m glad you have the energy to deal with me then.”

“Well I love you, that’s why. Even though you can be annoying as fuck sometimes.”

A chuckle; even as your girlfriend she still never fails to amaze you. “I love you too, Hye.”

—————————

“Yah! Stop cheating!”

Crushed cans of beer, empty bottles of soju and vodka, empty boxes of pizza and chicken wings, pillows scattered in every direction, a sole blanket covering the two of you, the flashing of the flat-screen TV you two impulsively bought just for the purpose of gaming, sounds of buttons mashing on the Nintendo Switch and her occasional screams, Hyeju looking absolutely adorable in her pajamas—all tell-tale signs of another typical game night on a weekend.

That would be the case except for the half-eaten birthday cake resting on the dinner table, a chocolate mousse cake from her favorite bakery—the way her face lit up as soon as you surprised her is priceless. There’s also chunks of gift wrapper scattered all over the living room; if there’s any proof that Hyeju is loved by her friends, it would be the amount of gifts she received tonight. Oh, and there’s also golden balloons spelling out “Happy birthday, Hyeju” hanging precariously on the wall. Maybe it was a bad idea to ask Yerim and her boyfriend to do it since they just ended up flirting the entire time.

But the surprise party ended up being a success and it’s a twenty-first birthday celebration in the most Hyeju way possible. She refused to let you take her to an expensive restaurant, or buy her any gifts even though you heavily insisted, or make you treat her any differently than you usually would. All she asked for was something simple: to spend more time with you. Maybe it’s because you two are finally adults now; with more responsibilities and problems to deal with; with less time for the simple things in life. And for her birthday, your gift for her is your presence alone.

“It’s not cheating. Just admit I’m finally better than you, Hye.”

A sigh of defeat as she loses another close race in Mario Kart, thanks to a well-timed use of the infamous blue shell. “How did you get a blue shell two laps in a row? That’s not fair!”

“I believe it’s called luck.”

A determined look paints her face, and the competitive side of Hyeju begins to show itself once again. No more cuddling for now, it’s time for her to kick your butt and show who’s the better gamer in this relationship. And for the next thirty minutes, that’s exactly what she does. Out of the next six races, you won exactly none—you were about to win the third one but you decided to let her have it by falling out of bounds on purpose.

A victory dance in her pajamas as she stands up and celebrates like a kid—overflowing joy painting her face. And you can’t help but smile like an idiot—if Hyeju is happy, you’re happy. And if this is the reaction you get everytime she wins, you’ll gladly lose in every single game night from now on. “See? I told you I’m still better than you.”

“So what do you wanna do now?” You pull her back down towards the couch to resume your cuddle and she thankfully reciprocates your hug as she leans her head on your shoulder.

“I wanna play another game, but I’m kinda tired.”

A gentle kiss on her lips, the taste of grape-flavored soju lingering in her mouth. It’s time for you to reveal your gift to her; save the best for last. “Let me take care of you tonight, then.”

“What are you tal–”

In one swift motion you have managed to carry her in your arms bridal style and to your surprise, she’s not hitting you with a barrage of complaints—perhaps it’s the alcohol, maybe she was expecting this tonight. A few quick steps and you are able to open the door to your shared bedroom with ease. Her eyes look at you with a mixture of lust and confusion, much more so when you place her on the bed and immediately move yourself on top of her. Her alluring eyes invites you, along with a bite of her lip as she carefully studies your face.

“I want to give you my gift.”

Then with unbridled hunger, you smash your lips into hers; an immediate response is what you get as she wraps her legs around your waist to pull you closer to her. You can feel your cock hardening and you know Hyeju can as well with the way her moans and whimpers are increasing in volume as you grind your clothed length on her. You know she’s wet and just the image of her drenched thighs is enough to send your lust into overdrive. Sex with Hyeju never gets old and it never will.

Pull away briefly to take off your shirt and you do the same for her, grabbing the hem of the soft fabric of her pajamas and inching it upwards to reveal her tight and immaculate body only for you to see; her top eventually joins the discarded pile on the floor and underneath the warm lights of your shared bedroom she looks absolutely ethereal. Her signature triangular shaped lips are agape, chest heaving slightly as she tries to catch her breath, fingers clutching the sheets as she anticipates your next move. A hand reaches out to cup her clothed breasts while you engage in another round of kissing with her, feeling her moan as your hands begin to roam her body.

“Hmph!”

Even more so as you make your way down to her jawline and her neck, faint marks of the hickey you left a week ago still apparent. She’s squirming even as your lips are barely grazing her sweat-glazed skin, sensitivity reaching near meteoric levels. Her addictive scent infiltrates your senses as you begin to mark her once again, replacing the old hickeys with much more intense and darker ones. You change it up once in a while; a lick, a bite, a kiss—all serving to make her squirm and whimper under your touch even more, every reaction from her just urges you to pleasure her even more.

“Fuck, I can’t get enough of you Hye.” Shivers sent down her spine as you breathe heavily, each exhale making contact with her skin. But hearing such words from you is what makes her heart swoon, causing her lust to drive up much higher than usual compared to your other intimate nights together. Thank goodness you can’t see just how red her cheeks are at this moment. You are never one to explicitly tell her such things and to hear it from you tonight is going to cause her fragile heart to explode—and she needs to do something, anything to maintain her composure.

“You talk too much, you idiot.” Thank goodness you’re wearing sweatpants because she is able to pull it down with ease along with your boxers, revealing your hardened member that’s twitching and yearning for her. It always dumbfounded her as to how erect you can get, but she’s not going to wait any longer with a feast in front of her eyes. With newfound strength, she switches position with you so that she’s now on top.

“If you’re gonna offer me your dick as your gift, then I can decide what I can do with it, right?” You gulp, it’s rare to see Hyeju take control in bed. If there was any place where she isn’t keen to assert her will, it’s the bedroom. She would just let you have your way with her and pleasure her however you can. And seeing this side of her just causes more precum to drip out of you.

Excited, you nod as if it’s your birthday and not hers. “Sur—“ Lean your head back as she slowly wraps her dainty fingers around your length, beginning to pump you at an excruciatingly slow pace. You can’t control the needy groans coming out of your mouth—not when she’s giving you a seductive look. But it’s hard to maintain control once she pauses briefly to take off her pants, revealing those delicious thighs that you just want to dive in on and as you expected, her panties are already drenched.

“H-Hyeju, shit…”

Then she goes back to pumping your length, this time increasing the pace while fondling your balls. The pleasure multiplies tenfold and you don’t know where Hyeju got this sudden burst of confidence from but underneath the warm lights, she’s going to cause you to explode much faster than you would prefer. But you don’t have the energy to tell her, with each stroke of your length only causing the familiar tension to build in your stomach. It’s hard to focus on anything and you miss the smirk on her face as she continues to give you pleasure. Your breath gets shorter and shorter, more precum dripping all over your sheets. Just one more…

“Wait.” Just as the tension is about to break, Hyeju comes to an abrupt stop. Dazed and confused, you look up at her with your cock twitching rapidly, aching to explode in her hands and possibly paint her beautiful face with your semen. And it really might as well be your birthday because she pushes you further up the bed until you reach the headboard and begins to make her way back down to your length again.

“I wanna taste you.” Before you can even process the words that just came out of her mouth, she’s already moving down south as her face comes dangerously close to your cock. Then a curious tongue licks across the slit of your length, sending waves of electricity down your spine, enough for you to curl your toes as she carefully takes you into her mouth. It takes her numerous times to get adjusted to you, using her hands to stroke you and lubricate you using her saliva to make it easier for her.

In the back of your head, you’re still wondering just where she learned such skills. But all coherent thoughts disappear into the cosmos when you can feel your tip hit the back of her throat, signaling that she’s finally able to take you all the way in. The warmth and suction that her mouth provides is comparable to that of her pussy, and you might have just found your new favorite sex act after tonight. Especially when she proceeds to bob her head up and down leaving you once again breathless and groaning. Lewd sounds of her mouth taking you in so well is enough to send you the brink of the edge and the sight of her absolutely loving it is ethereal.

It doesn’t take too long before you can feel the tension beginning to grow again. “Hye, I’m gonna cum!”

You try to remove Hyeju off of you, signaling her of your impending orgasm but it only makes her bob her head up and down that much faster and you can hear her try to say something but it’s difficult given her mouth is full of your cock. And having been blue-balled already, it only takes a few more pumps for you to explode in her mouth. A loud groan escaping your lips as you empty shot after shot of thick, white semen. Her mouth is too warm and for someone that’s giving a blowjob for the first time, she is too good. The result is an orgasm that’s as strong as when you first had sex with her.

Hyeju removes her mouth and coughs immediately as she tries to swallow all of your cum, with some dripping down the side of her mouth due to your heavy load. Guilt immediately strikes you and you grab a box of tissues from the bedside table and hand it to her. She takes it and begins to wipe herself with it. “S-Shit Hye, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I was the one that wanted it.” Her gummy smile appears once again, as if she didn’t just give you an extremely intense orgasm. “Plus, you tasted delicious like I expected.” You’ve already cum once and you’re embarrassed by the way your length quickly shoots back to full-mast with her words. And it doesn’t help when she gets off the bed and proceeds to take off her bra and panties, revealing her plentiful breasts and thighs already dripping with desire.

But it’s unfair that it’s only you on the receiving end of the mind-blowing pleasure, especially since it’s her birthday. And despite wanting to just pound her already and feel those luscious thighs wrapped around you, you want to service her. That’s why you grab her arms and pull her towards you, flipping positions once again so that you’re back on top. Give her a quick kiss on the lips before making your way down to her neck, making sure to leave more deep, purple marks for her to have a hard time trying to hide. You do the same with her shoulders and collarbones; but your hands aren’t idle as they make their way towards her pussy, already drenching your sheets.

“A-Ahh!”

Slowly but carefully, you stick one finger in. You can feel her throat vibrate as you continue to leave kisses. As always, she’s so wonderfully tight despite being so wet. It’s a miracle that she’s able to take in your length so well when she clenches so tightly with just one, measly finger. Having made sure that not even makeup would be able to hide the hickeys, you move further down south to her breasts. You use a free hand to gently knead her right breast while you immediately dive in on her left breast, sucking harshly on the stiff nipple due to arousal.

You are easily able to find her g-spot and hit it with each thrust of your finger inside her. You make sure to give both breasts equal attention as you switch your target to her right breast, sucking on the flesh. With two points of pleasure, Hyeju is melting into putty as she wraps her arms tightly around your necks. Beautiful and lustful moans of your name reverberate throughout the bedroom and you just want to drink it all in. Being more daring, you decide to add another finger to the mix.

“F-Fuck, so good!”

“Cum for me, Hye. Please.” You stare at her beautiful eyes, pleading and begging for such a sweet release. And as her boyfriend, you are more than delighted to make such a request happen. It only takes a few more thrusts for the dam to finally break and with one final moan of your name, she leaks all over your fingers and the bed sheets. Regretfully, you take your face off of her breasts to give her a deep and passionate kiss as she comes down from her own orgasm. Brush loose strands of disheveled hair aside as she tries to regain her breath and focus.

It takes her a few minutes to get her bearings but just like a wolf in heat, she’s ready to pounce on you again as she gets on top of you. She’s completely drenched in sweat just like you are and that just makes her even more attractive in your eyes. This might be the most passionate night of lovemaking you two have had so far and the fact that it’s on her birthday nonetheless makes it even more special. Take a break to appreciate this moment, to appreciate her. Sit up to meet her face-to-face, leaning in slowly to give her a passionate kiss on the lips. You two let the kiss run its course until the biological need to breathe forces an end to the lip lock.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

A wide smile that you reciprocate; then she nods—she knows you too well and is aware that you won’t proceed any further until she’s ready. There were no more words needed to be said as she carefully aligned herself with your length. You wrap your arms around her waist as she does the same to your neck. Muffle her moans by engaging in another kiss, feeling her whimper as you swirl your tongue around hers. As she bottoms out, a guttural groan escapes her mouth as the kiss ends.

It’s incredible how she’s still so tight despite one orgasm already down the drain. And the suffocating warmth of her walls envelopes your cock in a delightful sensation that leaves you very much in the same state as her. Once she’s gotten used to your length, she begins to bounce up and down—matching your thrusts as you are able to find her g-spot once again with ease. This action causes a high-pitched moan to escape her mouth as she wraps her arms around you much tighter.

“P-Please, you’re fucking me so well…”

A hand creeps up to her breast while the other roams around her body. From her butt to her thighs to her hips—anything to relieve the overwhelming pleasure you’re feeling. Meanwhile she’s already left plenty of scratch marks on your back that will surely sting by tomorrow morning—moans traveling directly to your ears as she rests her chin on your shoulder. Hyeju riding you is your favorite position; not only do you get to see her breasts bouncing hypnotizingly but you also get a full view of her in pleasure using your cock as the tool.

But tonight has been a night full of firsts and you truly want to make this memorable. With the very minimal amount of energy you have left you stand up from the bed with Hyeju wrapping her limbs tightly around you. You rest your hands on the back of her thighs to support her as more high-pitched moans leave her mouth at the new angle, your cock driving deeper into her pussy with the aid of gravity. Your years of working out in the gym with her has paid off for this very moment as you easily lift her into your arms and continue to thrust upwards into her.

It’s absolutely hot, the way she’s clinging on to you for dear life as she comes crashing back down onto you after every pump. More sweat drips down your bodies along with the juices that are constantly leaking out of her. Take her in for another kiss as her nails continue to leave dark, red marks on your shoulders and back. Carefully, you lean her onto the wall as you try to maintain the unrelenting pace. She’s clenching tightly around your length which could only mean that she’s close to another orgasm.

But with how turned on you have been for the entire night, you’re close to your own orgasm as well. Despite that, her pleasure comes first above everything else so you angle your thrusts to aim for Hyeju’s g-spot once again and she’s on the brink of tears as the pleasure meter reaches full-throttle. Dive down for her breasts again and as you take a nipple into your mouth, she screams your name as she reaches her peak for the second time and with how much tighter she’s become, this is much stronger than the first one. Her juices begin to drip down both of your thighs and onto the floor.

And you weren’t that far off. Thanks to the added lubrication of her orgasm, it becomes that much simpler to pound her and thrust into her. With a few more thrusts, you groan into her neck as you fill her with ribbons upon ribbons of semen. The excess drips out of her pussy and joins the fluids resulting from your lovemaking on the floor.

On wobbly legs, you manage to safely bring her back to the bed—not caring about the fluids you two just left on the floor. You two were a mess, but a good mess. Everything feels sticky and hot but Hyeju doesn’t care and neither do you. Shower can wait until tomorrow—and maybe you’ll have to help her clean herself again just like after that fateful night. Maybe her friends will tease you again because of the hickeys you’ve made. Maybe you’ll go on another date, perhaps a thousand more. Everything can wait, because you’re willing to spend the rest of your life with her.

Take this moment to appreciate her once again, as she slowly drifts to sleep with her head resting on your chest. You would gladly spend more birthdays with her, more game nights with her, more days with her. So as long as you can keep seeing that beautiful smile of hers and everything else that makes you deeply in love with her. Place a kiss on her lips softly as you utter the words you didn’t get the chance to directly say to her today:

“Happy birthday, Hye.”

#kpop smut #male reader #kpop fanfic #reader insert #smut #loona smut #olivia hye smut #son hyeju smut

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sinswithpleasure · 2 years

Text

Showing It All

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A/N: This is for @asmodeussoularium, and also for me. I do not expect for this to get any notes, I don't expect anyone to even like or read this. In fact, I expect most of you to hate this, and I don't care. I wrote this almost entirely for myself only, and it's purely self-indulgent because I think this is crazy hot, and you'll just have to accept that it's a thing. Feel free not to read it if it isn't your thing—I get it.

Tags: Camgirls!01-line, Exhibitionism, Pissing (a LOT), Squirting, Scissoring, FxF.

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"Hihi, everyone~!"

Choi Yerim, known among specific circles online as "cherrycherrychoerry", waves hello to the camera propped up in front of her. She smiles at the waves of donations and chat messages that begin to pop up, and she waves harder at the camera.

"I'm with a special guest today! Come say hi!"

Next to her, Son Hyeju, known online under "wolfieolivia" waves and grins at the same camera. Both girls are clad in oversized button downs.

"Today, both Livvie and I have a very special stream for you all." Yerim smiles, and her eyes glint. "We're going to do something that we've never done for this collab. I'm sure you all know we've been planning for this collab for a while now. The first has to always be awesome, doesn't it?"

Hyeju nods, her grin mirroring Yerim's, and she fiddles with the buttons on her shirt. She leans towards the camera, as if to let the viewers in on a little secret.

"We've wanted to do this together for a long time, so give us lots of love, okay?"

At Hyeju's nod, both Yerim and her begin to undo the buttons to their shirts. Bit by bit, more and more of their skin is exposed to the camera lens for their viewers. Donations pour in for the stripping girls, and when their shirts fall open, Hyeju helps to tug Yerim's off her shoulders before she removes her own. Both girls kneel in front of the camera naked as they admire the other's body.

"Wow, Livvie… I knew you looked awesome, but off camera… fuck, you're so hot…"

"You're so beautiful too, Choerry. I'm already so wet looking at you."

"Oh, you perv." Yerim slaps Hyeju's shoulder, and she reaches a hand over to caress Hyeju's lower abdomen. She giggles when Hyeju's breathing grows slightly shaky, and she caresses her own too.

"You drank so much water, didn't you? Your bladder bulge is so big."

Hyeju moans softly at the pressure, and she retorts, “Same for you, isn’t it, Choerry? Yours is just as big.”

“Mmhmm! Just a bit longer, Livvie.”

Yerim turns to the camera and winks, her hand slowly crawling downward. She runs two fingers over Hyeju’s slit, and the other girl moans as the digits brush over her clit. Yerim takes Hyeju’s hand and slides it between her thighs as she fingers her.

“You can touch me too, Livvie.”

Both girls sigh in pleasure when Hyeju slides her fingers over Yerim’s pussy, and Yerim presses down on Hyeju’s clit in response. Both girls are so wet, turned on by the idea of what they’re about to do next—let it all out, relieve themselves for their loyal viewers on cam, show the world how they piss together and how much it turns them on.

Hyeju removes her fingers from Yerim, just as Yerim does from Hyeju. Both girls lick the slick off their fingers, and they grin at the other.

“Shall we, Choerry?”

“Mmm, let’s.”

Both girls lean closer to the other. Yerim giggles, and they join their lips together in a soft kiss. They break away after a short moment, and they giggle together. The two camgirls adjust themselves so the camera can catch both of their pussies in frame as they kneel.

"Enjoy the show, all of you."

Both girls lean in again this time in an openmouthed kiss. Hyeju raises a hand to knead Yerim's chest, the other resting on Yerim's hip, and Yerim squeezes Hyeju's ass with one hand, the other on Hyeju's breast as well. Both girls fondle the other as they make out, and they both let themselves relax into the kiss.

Pssshhh…

Yerim is the first to go. Trickles of piss leak from her pussy first, dripping to the floor, before a strong messy stream sprays from her pussy onto the towels already laid out. Next to her, Hyeju follows up half a second later, her own high-pressure stream mixing with Yerim's puddle. Both girls moan in relief and pleasure as they intensify their makeout, the kiss growing desperate, their touches more rough. Hyeju pinches Yerim's nipples as Yerim kneads Hyeju's ass and squeezes Hyeju's breast harder. The loud hisses from their pussies fill the room, and lust burns so violently in both girls, the thought of exhibiting themselves, streaming their relieving themselves, them pissing for their viewers turning them on so much. Both Hyeju and Yerim can't help but feel so incredibly dirty yet horny at the thought of all their viewers masturbating to the sight of them relieving themselves while making out.

"Fuck, Choerry, you're still going…"

"You too, Livvie…"

Both girls stare at the other pissing, and Yerim can't help but stare at Hyeju's pussy. The clean stream of Hyeju's piss is the direct opposite of Yerim's messy spray—Hyeju barely gets any of it on her thighs but Yerim's skin is covered in her own release as it sprays all around and over the floor. Both girls spread their pussies open for the camera, moaning at the pleasure of their own touch and the thought of their viewers watching their most private and intimate moments as the girls empty their bladders for their viewers' orgasmic pleasure. The lens records every detail of the girls' relief, every bit of ground their mixed puddle of piss covers, and when both girls' streams slowly come to a stop, they giggle and share another deep kiss as they rub their own clits for a small rush of pleasure.

"Don't go away, my cherries! We're not done~."

Yerim and Hyeju shift as they both smirk at the camera. Hyeju pulls a mattress, set up just out of frame, and both her and Yerim move onto it. Yerim chases Hyeju's lips for a short peck before she lies on the pillow set up on the mattress and spreads her legs open for Hyeju.

"Hold on, Choerry. Let me get the camera…"

Hyeju picks up the camera and sets it up near Yerim at a 45 degree angle, the lens pointing straight at her body. Yerim turns to her right and flirts with the viewers—flash a wink, blow a kiss, fondle her breasts and thighs all for the viewers. When Hyeju obtains a proper angle, she steps around the camera to get back on the mattress. Yerim spreads her legs wide open, and both her and Hyeju giggle with excitement when the younger of the two straddles the older girl's right leg. Hyeju shifts herself up and pulls Yerim's left leg over her right leg to rest comfortably against her hip, and she lines her pussy up with the girl beneath her.

"Let's have sex, Livvie."

"Mm, let's."

Hyeju sinks down, and their bodies share a kiss again, but this time, their nether lips meet each other instead in a show of sex. No more time for makeouts—Hyeju and Yerim have sex now, pussy to pussy, grinding against each other, chasing orgasm together for their viewers to watch.

"Fuck, Choerry!"

"Oh, Livvie, gosh!"

Both Hyeju and Yerim roll their hips against the other, and they moan in pleasure when their rhythmic movements cause their clits to grind against the other's regularly. Yerim grabs onto Hyeju's hips as she bucks her own up every time the younger girl grinds herself downwards, and Hyeju grabs one of Yerim's breasts, kneading the flesh with every roll of her hips.

"Do you like it, cherries? Do you like watching us have sex?" Hyeju stares deep into the lens as she grinds against Yerim. She sighs when the girl beneath her looks up at her in pleasurable submission, and she grabs one of Yerim's hands from her hips to move onto her chest, groaning when Yerim kneads her supple flesh. Both girls begin to grind harder.

"Fuck, my cherries, Livvie's pussy feels so good against mine, fuck, fuck!"

"Choerry, I feel so good too, fuck, fuck!"

"Livvie… I might cum if we keep doing this…"

"It's okay—ah!—I want to, fuck, cum with you!"

Both Hyeju and Yerim roll their hips harder against the other's. Their clits grind together harshly, and both girls can only moan as they work towards their orgasms together. The amount of slick staining their skin leaks between the gaps between their bodies, wet spots dotting the bed sheets beneath Yerim. Both girls moan uncontrollably with every movement, and Hyeju speeds up, Yerim following almost instantly after.

"Choerry, I'm close, I'm close!"

"Me too Livvie, fuck, fuck!"

Two sets of moans ring out as both Yerim and Hyeju cum hard. The camera and mics pick up the visuals of both girls' hips bucking, sprays of squirt gushing over their bodies as the hiss of both girls squirting together add to their blissful moans of orgasm. Yerim and Hyeju shower the other in squirt as they rub their clits furiously to prolong and increase their pleasure, gush after gush of their orgasm streamed worldwide to thousands over their setup. When the girls fall back exhausted, Hyeju climbs into Yerim's embrace for a deep kiss, and Yerim picks up the camera to stream every detail of their makeout, all the way until they break their kiss.

"That's all for today, my cherries! See you soon~!"

#kpop fanfic #kpop smut #kpop fanfiction #loona smut #choerry smut #olivia hye smut #son hyeju smut

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i-turned-into-the-stone · 3 months

Text

Extra Hour - Hyeju LOOSSEMBLE

Rape, Non-con, Violence, Hair Pulling, Choking, Face Slapping, Tits Slapping, Pussy Fuck, Titty Fuck, Cum On Tits

Hyeju LOOSSEMBLE

2,187 Words

You head back to the practice room, ready to continue monitoring Hyeju's dancing for her upcoming solo performance after a quick break in the toilet. The other dancers have cleared out, leaving behind a deafening silence.

Hyeju, the idol you're in charge of, is busy packing up her things to leave. You've already reminded her that she'll need to put in some extra hours tonight, as she still hasn't quite perfected certain parts.

As usual, when it's just the two of you in this practice room, she completely disregards your presence. You're at a loss as to what you've done wrong, but she never treats you like a respected dance instructor.

Could it be because your senior, who also happened to be Hyeju's favorite dance teacher, quit and recommended you to take over? Sure, you're young and still have a lot to learn, but you're a certified dance instructor nonetheless.

"Hyeju-ssi, we've got some extra time tonight. An hour should do it. I did mention that, right?" you reprimand her, trying not to come off too harsh in case she genuinely forgot.

She doesn't stop packing until she's finished, then stands up. Normally, you wouldn't mind letting her go, but this time, the CEO specifically instructed you to give the idol some additional training. Otherwise, you'll be transferred to the trainee division instead of working with the idols.

That would be a major setback in your career, even if the CEO didn't spell it out. It's the reason you're starting to lose your composure and feel consumed by frustration and something else.

It's tough to maintain professionalism when the idol behaves like a spoiled lazy brat all the while flaunting her ample boobs in that tight purple cami top. You've been stealing glances at her impressive bust throughout the entire practice.

To be honest, it's not just today but every single time. However, you've always managed to suppress your desires and be a decent human being. That is, until now. At this point, you're on the verge of losing it.

"Son Hyeju… Can you just listen to me for once? Just today. Let's do what the CEO said and get it over with," you say with a sigh. This is your last attempt, and you don't want to prolong your time with her any more than necessary.

Finally, she turns her droopy annoyed gaze towards you. "Sir, don't make it harder than it needs to be. Let's just stick to our usual routine. I'm heading out now," she replies, turning away and making her way towards the door.

Your anger causes your teeth to grind together as you clench your jaw. Your head tilts to the side, fixating your stare on her sweaty neck while your mind churns with conflicting thoughts. You need this extra hour for your upcoming report, no matter what.

You stomp over to Hyeju. Before she can even touch the door handle, you grab a handful of her black hair and pull her backward. The idol lets out a surprised squeal, dropping her bag and being shoved to the side of the room.

You slam the lock, facing her as she lies on the ground, and pull your shirt off your body. "Enough of your attitude. We're going to put in an extra hour starting now. No more skipping class for you," you assert.

Your tongue swipes across your bottom lip as you approach her. She instinctively backs away, mirroring your step, her breathing quickening, and her heartbeat pounding in her chest. The pain from having her hair pulled serves as a clear indication that you're not playing games.

"Sir, I-I promise I'll practice more tomorrow. I'm exhausted right now, and I haven't had dinner yet, so..." she pleads, trying to reason with a string of pitiful excuses.

You interrupt her with a chuckle, swiftly moving to her side and gripping her neck. "Exhausted? From what? Dancing like a cow?" You tighten your hold, causing her to gasp for air and struggle against your grasp. "Don't even think about leaving until I'm done with you... Bitch."

Hyeju's soles scrape against the floor while she futilely strikes your arm, her face growing increasingly blue with each passing second. From her seated position, you push her back onto the floor and apply even more pressure to her neck. Now, not a single sound escaped her.

"If you want to breathe, how about you do as I say, hmm?" you taunt, fully aware that she cannot respond or even nod her head, just staring at you with bloodshot, teary eyes. "Rip that top off."

Although her ears can barely register the faint sound of your voice due to the lack of oxygen affecting her senses, she clearly understands your command. Shocked, she let out a pained groan from her throat.

You drop to your knees, leaning closer to her pale face. With a tighter grip, she squirms weakly from side to side. "Do it..."

The idol's eyes go all blurry, and she's feeling woozy, on the verge of passing out. But her body moves on its own, trembling hands reaching for the hem of her top. Slowly, she pulls the fabric up, revealing her soft tummy that she's sucking in to catch her breath.

You're getting all excited, your cock twitching inside your track pants, but Hyeju stops just below her boobs and lets out a louder groan. Her pupils roll back into her skull. Right before she fully blacks out, you let go of your grip around her neck.

She doesn't waste any time gasping for air, doing it harsh and loud, recoiling to the side and coughing like crazy. Saliva's drooling out of her mouth, but that's the least of her worries. Her chest is burning, and she feels like there's something solid stuck in her throat.

You couldn't care less about her condition, and you grab her hair, yanking on it, trying to pull her up. "Get up. Finish what you started, bitch. Get rid of--"

"Fuck! You're fucking crazy! Let me go!" She smacks your hand away and pushes you, trying to crawl away. Her face is still pale, but adrenaline kicks in, giving her a burst of strength for a short moment.

You catch her easily, wrapping your arms around her sweaty stomach and hoisting her up to her knees before slamming her body back onto the floor. The impact knocks the wind out of her as she coughs in pain and is not moving much.

Your patience finally runs out, and you quickly yank down your pants and briefs, getting fully naked. And then, you turn your attention to the idol. With a swift move, you strip off her pants, revealing those sexy legs of hers. They are thick and jiggly.

Hyeju's slightly tanned skin amps up your raging libido higher. When she catches sight of your naked form, she lets out a shriek that could wake the dead. You are not letting her get away that easily. You tackle her leg, bending her knees and making her flop onto her stomach.

You climb on top of her thighs, pinning her legs down with your own. She's still shouting her lungs out, desperate to escape. But you're not done yet as you rip her panties right down the middle, uncovering her squished pussy. You tug at the thin fabric, teasing her sensitive area.

Body stretches forward, you press your pulsing cock against her soft ass while shoving those torn panties into her mouth to keep her quiet and to assert your dominance even more, you push her face onto the floor, leaving only her hands free to flail around.

Slowly slide your cock back, giving her a taste of what's to come. You're in control, making her feel the impending despair closing in on her sweat-slick entrance. It's intense, it's raw, and it's all about having your way with her body.

You use your free hand to guide your cock towards her plump pussy lips, smearing them with precum as you let out a light laugh. "Hey, Hyeju, stop moving. Remember how close you came to biting the dust earlier?"

"Hmphhh Uggghhh!"

But the stubborn woman pays no attention to your words. She keeps pushing her head against your palm, her hands slamming against the floor. Even her legs below go wild without a break. Sweat trickles down her body, leaving a sexy sheen on her back, accentuating her back dimple.

"Damn, you're smoking hot even from behind, like a total sex whore," you comment, as you push your cockhead inside her slick pussy. Hyeju freezes, her breath hitching, and a tear rolls down her cheek. "Should've done this ages ago."

You spread one side of her ass and thrust your hips forward, hissing in pleasure as her velvety walls wrap around your cock, inch by inch.

Hyeju's fists clench as her body convulses with sobs, her muscles tensing as she feels your thick cock stretching her pussy. It's disgusting and utterly humiliating. She's completely powerless to stop it.

Your balls slap against her tightly closed thighs, and you tilt her face to the side, forcing her to look at her own reflection in the expansive mirrored wall.

"Take a good look at yourself," you taunt, burying your cock deep inside her. "Pathetic, don't you think?" You spread your knees wider, leaning forward to touch the bruise on her neck.

The idol can feel your cock twitch inside her, teasing the sensitive spot. Her mouth hangs open, revealing her saliva-coated panties, visible through the mirror. With both hands, you grip her neck from behind and press it onto the floor.

"Just lie there and contemplate why you're in this situation while I rape your fat pussy," you command, bringing out your cock, leaving only the tip, before ramming it back in with a wet splash.

"Nngh!!" Hyeju groans, shutting her eyes tightly, cursing her helplessness as she can only endure the forceful thrusts of your cock.

Using her neck for leverage, you pick up the pace, making her gasp and grunt. Her tits take a beating against the unforgiving floor, intensifying the relentless thrusts deep inside her. Each powerful plunge is fueled by raw aggression, leaving her breathless with every harsh push.

As the room echoes with the sound of flesh slapping against flesh, Hyeju's cries of despair blend with occasional moans of pleasure. The unyielding pressure of your primal jabs pushes her to the brink, causing her body to tremble. Her mind is consumed by the sensation of fullness, as you keep moving in and out, never missing a beat.

Her fingers claw at the floor, aimlessly seeking something to hold onto as you continue to pound into her with unbridled power. The air becomes saturated with the scent of sweat and sex all the while you claim her body as your own.

Your breath hitches as you feel the knot in your balls, a warning sign of the impending release if you keep ravishing her pussy. Pulling your hips back, your cock escapes with a loud pop before you flip the idol onto her back and crawl on top of her soft stomach. The sheer force of your actions elicits a sharp gasp from her parted lips.

"What are you staring at? You want me to knock you up?" you say, slightly out of breath.

Hyeju tries to remove the panties from her mouth, but you quickly swat her hands away and deliver brutal slaps to her face, hitting the same spot multiple times, causing her to cry out. Her cheek reddens from the stinging pain as she sobs.

Without hesitation, you rip off her flimsy top and bra, exposing her luscious, ripe tits. Literally drooling at the size of her tits, you firmly seize both mounds, squeezing and kneading them. Hyeju's reluctant whimpers fill the room.

Using her tits as your playground, you slide your slick, hard cock between them, getting a kick out of their softness and warmth. Committed to punishing the idol, each thrust is followed by a sharp slap against her swollen tits, leaving behind burning red marks.

Hyeju's muffled cries grow louder and more desperate as you continue to dominate her breasts, the combination of intense contact and pain pushing her to the edge. Her nipples, sensitive and erect, beg for attention, and you comply, pinching and twisting them as you rush toward climax.

Thrusting a few more times between her squeezed mounds, you unleash your thick, white cum all over her chest, causing her to instinctively cover her face. Coming down from the high, you pin her hands above her head, reveling in the power you hold over her vulnerable body as you admire the artwork you've created on her glistening tits, which now droop slightly to the sides.

"It hasn't even been an hour yet, Hyeju," you remark, your hand finding its way to her neck, gradually applying pressure, choking her, while your other hand squeezes her reddened tits between your fingers.

"Keugh..." she chokes again, a familiar sensation causing her to close her eyes weakly, her hands barely resisting yours.

#kpop smut #kpop girls #kpop gg #loossemble #loossemble hyeju #son hyeju #hyeju smut #non con smut #male reader

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jeskoholic · 2 years

Text

Undying Love - Olivia Hye (Part 2)

Authornim: continuation and finale of a two-part shot

Here’s Part 1.

Here’s the Masterlist.

Tags: Olivia Hye x Male OC, Death and Reincarnation, Lover’s Sex, protected sex, blowjob, eating

Trigger Warning: Themes of death, mentions of self-harm, implications of suicide, violence, heavy angst, desperation, sexual content

Word count: 38k+

Enjoy!

---

Weeks have passed since Son Hyejoo and I shared our first interaction ever, and yet it already felt like months with all the development that followed after that. I would have preferred if it were under different circumstances, but apparently it was the sole reason that she got interested into talking with me. I cannot blame her; certainly after causing such a huge scene in front of many watching eyes just like that, our succeeding encounter was all but certain. Although, up until now, I never gave her a specific answer as to why I even did that in the first place as I merely dismissed it with a short excuse. Maybe it was also one of the reasons why she took a strong interest in me after what happened. She wanted to know the answer.

Perhaps her inquiry was the reason why I am waiting inside a small bubble tea shop not far from the school. It was weekend too, and the sun was bright up so I don’t really get why she would meet me up on this time of the day. Normally she would be busy on something else.

Initially, when I promised myself that I would ask Hyejoo out, I did not view it to be just like this. Instead, it felt more like it was he, who became the one that was asking me out, which was strange. I was determined beforehand, maybe even desperate, to find the connection between her and Olivia. Even on our small conversations there was always a hidden agenda. The sense of de javu that she mentioned to me in more times before sparked interest and inquiry in my head; she insists that she’s had this feeling that she’s met me, even more so displaying a suspicious state of calmness and comfort whenever she was with me. That’s normally not the case, unless she already met me before in some way. It only added up to the questions I had in my head...

That was one of my takeaways that maybe, in some shape or form, in some rule that was crazy enough for the universe… Olivia Hye might be present in the person of Son Hyejoo. The fact that it was not only me that was able to feel that might already say something that’s going on between us. There was an unknown connection; a link that drew us together whenever we decided to go out for whatever reason we might deem. It used to be for the purpose of knowing the other better but then it slowly became the thing that we were looking forward to every week. One coffee date became two, and then three, and then we could not stop because the truth was we never really wanted it to stop.

The next thing that Hyejoo and I knew, we were already dating.

It was bizarre whenever I think about it considering it all happened so fast. However, it was the mutual feeling that was the catalyst for everything. I could not relay how much familiar she seemed to me even if I had just formally met her a couple of weeks earlier after the locker room incident. That goes with her as well. I don’t know. It was too mystical, even fictional to think about but that’s exactly how everything went. Talking to Hyejoo for the first time felt like opening a familiar book that I have read before but subtly forgotten which I would think was exactly the feeling you get when you meet a person again for a long time.

I am not even trying to associate her with Olivia at this point. Yes, they sure looked really identical, but now Hyejoo’s doing almost everything that Olivia used to do down to her smallest mannerisms. It was haunting to even watch her do it for the first time, especially when I was so familiar with it before.

Today was our second date after officially being a couple for a couple of weeks now. Things have certainly changed now that I’m trying to put the thought of Olivia behind me as much as I could, and to the best of my abilities treat Hyejoo as Son Hyejoo; as the person she really is and not anyone else. So far, it worked really well and I’ve began to handle our relationship with relative ease, of only not for the momentary glimpses of Olivia in her. It was difficult, weird even, but I am happy that I am together with her despite sensing some sort of Olivia’s presence.

“Hey, Sang-hoonie~” I heard her familiar voice call me as soon as I heard the shop’s door open and close. I turned my head towards the direction of the voice and found the beauty of my girlfriend taking her steps towards my chosen table.

And there she was, approaching me with a smile was the figure of Son Hyejoo dressed in a long, red coat that stretched over her thighs; a vested white shirt underneath and finished with a black pencil skirt as well as a pair of high boots. Hyejoo sported a white bag to come with her otherwise formal demeanour, and it only finished the look of her professional aura. She waved her newly manicured hands towards me as she finally approached.

God, even to this day I still can’t believe that this beautiful person is my girlfriend. How could the universe be so rewarding to me?

“I’m sorry I came here a bit late,” her voice sung in the air like a sleepy wolf howl, proceeding to take the seat situated opposite mine. “There’s a little errand I had to run for the university, but it was no big deal. Have you been in here for a while now?”

“I… I actually am but it’s not that much of a bother. I elected to go ahead anyway because I have nothing to do back home. Have you finished your errand?”

Hyejoo nodded.

“Luckily I managed to do so, and so we won’t have to worry about the other people bugging me about things when I’m supposed to be enjoying this day with you. It’s so hard to get days like these especially now that we’ve been busy, so every time that I get to have this for myself, I want to make the most out of it.”

“I guess so… university’s starting to show its fangs. In a couple of weeks, or even days into the semester, we’re going to get really pummelled with so much activity.”

“On that note, shall we get something to drink first? I’m a bit heated up with all the walking I’ve been doing. I want a nice cold fruit tea and something maybe crunchy to go with it.”

I nodded in response and immediately moved to order her a cup. Fortunately, there weren’t that much of people in the place with us that I managed to get the staff’s attention immediately. Upon approach, the young woman carefully fixed her visor and immediately prepped a small menu for me.

“I’d like to have one of your Blue Berry Cheesecake mixes; one of these Winter melon Fruit teas, and a pair of pita sandwiches, one with tuna and one purely with beef. Please make the one with beef toasted, thank you.”

The young lady nodded and bowed in response after receiving my order, of which I gladly paid electronically. She went ahead with a smile and assuring us both that our orders would arrive shortly. I found myself eyeing the small menu presented before me when I was distracted by the figure of Hyejoo ogling at me from the other side of the table.

“Hmmm…? Is there something on my face…? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Oh nothing,” she said as she blushed. “I just saw the reason why I fell in love with you so damn fast.”

“I… I just ordered food for us… what do you mean?”

“Yeah, but I never told you exactly what I wanted and yet you nailed it perfectly… this is the reason why I have always been telling you. Ever since we met not that long ago I felt so secured with you. I always felt so familiar with you no matter how much I think that I’ve never really met you before. The way that you finish my sentences, fill out my wants without knowing what it really is… it’s too accurate that it’s almost scary.”

“Hey it’s just… I always knew that you were not a fan of bubble teas, right? I figured winter melon is a pretty refreshing beverage, so that’s what I ordered, and the beef—“

“You always defend yourself that way, you know, and I think it’s really cute whenever you do that,” Hyejoo interrupted. “I took a strong interest in you because you were this quiet and very reserved guy; it appears as if you’re constantly thinking about something and yet you manage to surprise me with how much you know about me. If I didn’t know better, it’s like I met you from before but I just forgot.”

---

Choi Sang-hoon sat there sufficing a smile on his face despite trying to resist the urge to force Olivia into the equation again. Hyejoo had no idea that the real reason for his rather ‘reserved’ nature was because he was silently observing her from the very beginning, wondering why as soon as he got closer to her, Olivia never felt more alive than ever. He could definitely not deny that. It was already disastrous to think that she misinterpreted that as him being really reserved. Twisted, for sure, but the whole dating situation between them made things easier for him to understand her better; the only problem was Olivia seemed to show more of herself in Hyejoo than when he had no idea who she really was.

The fact that Hyejoo also felt a sense of familiarity to him was another nail in the coffin.

Everything seemed to line up for him; even if their visual similarities were placed out of the picture, Hyejoo’s favourites were so similar to Olivia’s, their gestures were strikingly similar, and above else their voice felt identical. The only real thing that was separating her from Olivia was the fact that she does not have her memories; otherwise it would be easy to think that she and Hyejoo is the same person.

Unless, of course… they’re really the same person after all

That was what Sang-hoon wanted to find out, which was why he never really protested on Hyejoo’s idea of dating him. He’d do anything to get close to her at that point.

“Sang-hoon … yah, Sang-hoon …!” Hyejoo’s voice came booming from the other side of the table just as she was waving her hands in front of him. “You’re spacing out again! I just asked you a question!”

“Oh m-me…? Sorry, I was just thinking about something… what were you asking?”

“It’s kinda rude to do that in front of a girl, especially someone who’s your girlfriend, you know…”

“I’m sorry… what was your question?”

“I’m asking if you’re feeling the same sense of familiarity with me… I mean, it’s hard to believe that I feel like I’ve known you for so long… I mean, you should feel the same way right, otherwise you would not know my favourites?”

He was not sure what he was supposed to answer to that. After all, it was Olivia who he knew and not the Hyejoo that he met; it was just a crazy coincidence that they seemed to have the same favourites.

“It… it was just… I just got lucky that it all lined up, you know. There is that sense of familiarity, Hyejoo… I guess that’s the reason why I got so easily into you because I feel like it was so easy to be with you around. Look at us, we haven’t been dating for that long but it feels like I’ve known you for a year.”

“See…? That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Everyone else was freaking out when I told them that I was dating you, especially Gowon… everyone seemed to be so surprised.”

“I can’t blame them, I mean look: you just got transferred this semester onto Block Berry and you announced that you’re dating me… I’m not exactly the person who would appeal to a person on your level…”

“Yah, what do you mean? You’re the star of the plays! A lot of people like you, you just don’t know it! I always get envious looks from people whenever we walk together around campus, especially…”

Hyejoo paused and her face turned red.

“… It was more prominent from that girl that you rejected, Im Yeojin. Gosh, I immediately became a public enemy of her friends because of what happened. It turns out that she really liked you.”

“Can we…. can we not talk about her now, please?”

“I’m sorry, but I just had to bring her up. That was the first time that I ever noticed you, so it was inevitable for her to get caught on the conversation.”

“Excuse me,” a third voice said as the waiter finally appeared beside his left shoulder. “I am sorry to interrupt but I will serve your orders now. Please clear the table.”

At least the sudden appearance of the waitress there subjugated the impeding conversation for a little bit. It was getting too saturated for Sang-hoon’s liking, especially with the mention of Yeojin. He just could not look at her in the eye as she never really stopped attending his plays despite being rejected, and even after the announcement of him dating Hyejoo, Yeojin seemed to be unfazed by that fact. She was persistent even.

“That day was so crazy, you know,” Hyejoo began right after the waitress left them both. “It was my first-time seeing a girl confess to a guy... anyway, sorry, I promised that we won’t talk about her. My point is, that was also the day that… that you got called to the Student’s Affairs Office.

“That was the day when we first met each other formally.”

“I… I don’t understand where you’re going with this, Hyejoo.”

“I know that I’ve asked you this question before, but I never had a good answer from you because we were always interrupted in some form… what made you defend me against all those seniors? You barely knew me by then; we were just classmates… especially me who was just a transferee… Why did you do it?”

Sang-hoon froze knowing that the reason was always the same since the very beginning: he was defending the memory of Olivia being tarnished. His mind went black that moment, hearing the comments about the woman he loved and came crashing down on his own seniors. He was triggered beyond reasoning, defending a person he thought was the very one they were telling malicious comments on. It was her, but at the same time it was not. He did not know how he was supposed to explain that to her in the most sensible way that he could.

“I… I actively tried to avoid that topic until then, and I think you get a hint of that.”

“Are you still uncomfortable talking about it, Sang-hoon? I can understand that. Maybe I’ll ask again in another time…”

“No, Hyejoo… I think I can’t let that slide longer because at some point I’ll be too afraid to admit. I guess it is better that I’ll just do it now.”

Hyejoo notably shifted on her seat upon anticipation, and placed her eager, dark eyes on the figure of Sang-hoon.

“I… the reason why I lost control the way I did was… was because I’ve been having some sort of interest on you since the very beginning. Hearing those words escape from the mouths of the seniors, ruining the pristine-perfect view I had on you… that was it. The small self-control I had on that day, including the emotion that drew from Yeojin’s confession with you watching… it just burst out and I had to throw it on somewhere. I would go out and say that I was duly pissed and my emotions were at its peak, which lead to that confrontation at the lockers. I regretted it the moment that I approached them, now that I’m looking back. Maybe I was just lucky that I am superior, physically, otherwise I would have gotten myself beaten instead.”

“Y-you… you’ve had your interest on me? Since when…?”

“Ever since you became my classmate; I remember that day that I could not take my eyes off of you. Let’s just say that I was captivated by your presence. I was duly star struck.”

”Oh my,” Hyejoo remarked as she blushed. “I didn’t know that… I never got to know that from you, only now. You were already looking at me way before I even met you after that incident. That’s amazing. It must have been really crazy when I first got to talk to you, then, was it?”

“It was… especially when you asked to talk to me privately in front of Gowon and Hyojong. He never really shut up all day asking me what really happened because I was so flustered after you left.”

And that was the day I decided to ask her out… luckily all those dates paid off and now here we are.

“That’s… that’s amazing… I’m glad that I got to talk to you on that day; otherwise I would not have met the Sang-hoon that values me so much right now. It was a happy coincidence and I’m glad how it turned out.”

Sang-hoon’s ears went hot.

“Hey, but don’t get me wrong... I know that I have taken a liking to you since that day, but that does not attribute why I got most of your favourites right. It’s not like I’m following you 24/7, nor am I asking Gowon for things about that because frankly, we’re not that close. I’m sure you know that, but I would not mind though if we’re friends. We’re acquainted, but there’s nothing after that sadly. It’s just… all these things that I managed to get right whenever I’m with you… I’m honestly surprised that I’m getting them as well. I mean, it’s just a pure guess and… everything is just coincidence. It’s like I have this weird, natural intuition to understand you just beyond the surface level, and I guess that’s the reason why I can get things perfectly.”

Yep, that sums it up about right. I’m definitely not using Oli as a reference; holy shit.

Hyejoo nodded.

“Don’t worry… I told you before; there are even a lot of things that I never told Gowon but somehow you managed to figure out. You knew that my favourite colours are in the realm of black, grey and red. You ordered a winter melon tea just now, even if we’re inside a bubble tea shop, because you also figured that I dislike bubble teas among other things. I never told anyone that, Sang-hoon.”

“Like I said, it was just a coincidence… it’s not like I have a reason for knowing why you like or do these specific things…”

“You’re right… it’s impossible. I guess it’s really just fate that we’re bound together. We’re so compatible with each other, and it’s crazy. It’s just fate, maybe.”

Hyejoo watched him as he took a sip from his mix and proceeded to hold his hand with her own. The young man was duly surprised with the gesture; suddenly feeling the rather cold sensation of Hyejoo’s fingers on his hand. He turned his gaze from being lost outside the shop and then to Hyejoo herself.

There was a moment of stillness between them both as they both engrossed in the presence of the other and appreciating the time they have together. In perfect sync, they drank their beverages in a steady pace through the straws; each having their eyes planted on the other. After that moment’s silence, Hyejoo sighed before smiling, and moved to withdraw her hand from him.

“I’m more than happy that things turned out the way they did. I’m happy that I survived what happened to me before otherwise I would not have met a charming guy such as you. This seemingly second life felt rewarding more than ever. I’m glad that I lived to meet you.”

Sang-hoon felt his heart leap out of his chest.

‘Second life’…?

Did he just hear her wrong or…?

“What do you mean that… t-that this is a-a second life? Did something… d-did something happen in the p-past that nearly…killed you?”

Hyejoo took a sip from his drink calmly and smiled.

“It was… it was not that long ago, really, but after everything that happened to me it honestly felt like a long time ago. I can’t be certain. I’m usually bad at remembering things, especially dates. However, there’s something that I could remember from the past. It’s a bit blurry, but I do remember some parts of it.”

Could it be…?

“Hyejoo… you haven’t told me this before, have you?”

“I guess I just didn’t have the chance to tell it to you before,” she admitted. “There was a situation where I was so close to dying. I only made out of that situation because I was saved by someone… someone that I cannot remember.”

---A FEW DAYS LATER---

No matter how much I try to draw myself away thinking that Olivia is Hyejoo, I somehow always came back. Ever since we became together I never felt so close to feeling Oli in her than when we had that date a couple of days ago. I was trying my best to keep Oli out of that one but it felt like it was herself who wedged herself in the conversation. It was frustrating to think that… that it feels like life is toying with me with everything that was going on around me.

Hyejoo had an accident not that long ago but she was saved?

She was close to dying but she was saved?

How on earth am I supposed to not associate her to Oli after that?

What if she IS Olivia, but just can’t remember me?

What if Olivia is actually Hyejoo and she made it out alive of that hospital?

“Yo, Sang-hoon,” my friend’s voice, Hyojong, spoke as his figure sat opposite me. That alone was more than enough to shake me out of my dreaming. “This is an urgent call. It’s not like you to go calling me out to drink. What’s up with you dragging me to an outdoor bar like this?”

The thoughts continued to plague me for a couple of days because I can’t stop thinking about the connection, to the point that I’m even beginning to dream about her. Having to see Oli in my dreams smiling silently while I can’t reach her felt like a nightmare, more than anything else, so I figured that I should get it out to someone. That was the reason that I asked Hyojong out to go drinking on a small bar not far from his neighbourhood; there’s no way in hell that I could tell all of this to him without having a bit of alcohol in our systems.

The aforementioned outdoor bar was different compared to the usual places that people our age usually go to as it was this small, street side store separated by a couple of tarps. The interior looked a little dishevelled, probably a testament to its time as an establishment. Regardless, it was pretty low-key to get into a conversation like this. The tables were too far apart and I made sure that I chose the corner-most table that we could stay hidden from everyone else; not that there’s much to hide from, anyway. Hyojong arrived late and immediately took a shot at the glass I prepared before him. I merely let it slide because the more alcohol-sodden he is, the more confident I am at telling what happened.

“Drink up, man. It’s on me.”

“Oh I will, for sure. I just don’t get why you’d call me out in the open like this. You even went your way and go to the bar near my house. What’s up with Choi Sang-hoon that he asked his doomed friend, Hyojong, to go drinking out hmmm?”

I sighed.

“There’s… there’s something I actually wanted to talk to you about. It’s not really something that you’d expect to come from me, so I figured getting loose with some alcohol ought to flex my tongue just a bit. I hope that you’d listen.”

Hyojong nodded in response and took another shot.

“Come on, Sang-hoon, stop going around the bush and tell it to me. Put it straight.”

Why do I have a feeling that he knows what I’m about to tell him?

“It’s… well, it’s actually about Hyejoo… I—“

I heard Hyojong clang the little glass harder on the table, emitting a loud shake much to my surprise.

“Finally, you decide to open up!” he told me, wide-eyed. “God, you don’t have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to open up about you and that Hyejoo girl! I knew that there was something that was off ever since you went on a rampage against our seniors. You and Hyejoo became… close, maybe too close. I guess you had it coming. You were really protecting her name from those idiotic perverts, but … how the fuck did you two suddenly date each other that quick?”

I was genuinely taken aback by his sudden taking over the conversation, but I guess it was bound to happen. After all, it was planned to make Hyojong talk and ask questions about her because I was not really comfortable opening it out of nowhere. At least in this regard, I can smoothly transition to what I really wanted to convey to him.

“It’s a long story,” I replied as I, too, refilled my glass and took a shot. “But you were right; it did begin ever since we talked… yeah, after I beat up Takagi and friends… it’s crazy.”

“That, by the way, would stay in the annals of all Block Berry history as one of the most amazing feats of strength and bravery ever displayed in this school. I bet counsellor Vivi is really thankful for you giving her a reason to punish those idiots. Thanks to you, as well, we won’t have to see those stupid faces for a bit.”

“Well, you’re welcome, man.”

“But, let’s get back to the topic before we get totally side-tracked,” he raised his glass and engaged a toast, of which I gladly responded to. “What has gotten into you and Hyejoo? A couple of months into your relationship and you’re already drinking this hard? Is this just a celebration and I don’t know about it just yet?”

Hyojong then moved to drink the liquid Soju slowly down his throat.

“I… I asked you out here man because I’m confused. I don’t think I dated Hyejoo for the right reason. I don’t think that it was even right that I dated her in the first place.”

BFFFT

Hyojong’s figure immediate turned from drinking the small glass to containing himself after spitting the liquid on the floor. It was fortunate that he was quick enough to chance his direction and spew it all over the floor; otherwise the alcohol that was on his mouth would have ended all over me instead.

Honestly, if that would have happened, I feel like I deserve it either way.

“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” he said after cleaning his chin with tissue. “What do you mean ‘it was not right that I dated her’? How on earth would the two of you even reach this stage in your relationship if you’re not even sure that it was the right decision?”

“It’s… it’s not that easy to explain, man.”

“Oh it definitely is not that easy, I can guarantee you that. How the fuck did you came to that conclusion? You’re dating the transferee, Son Hyejoo, the girl that caused you to suddenly became Superman and hand Takagi’s butts to them; the girl that almost got you bruised up, so why? You’re telling me that it was all… nothing?”

“I don’t think that I can explain this thoroughly so I guess I’ll have to use some props. It is better that way, I think.”

Hyojong raised an eyebrow.

“Okay…? What props are we talking about?”

I immediately moved to fish my phone out of my pocket and scanned a couple of the photos I took from the diary. This predicament was a bit anticipated on my part, so I figured I could use some that would bring light to Hyojong’s confused demeanour. Granted, this entire situation is complex anyway, so there we go.

“Here,” I told him as I held my phone up for him to see, showing him a picture of a young school boy in scout uniform standing proudly with his badges on. “Can you guess who this boy is?”

“Ehh…? I’m not that drunk to the extent that I won’t see you. That’s for sure you, right Sang-hoonie?”

“Correct. That is indeed me.”

“So…? What does this have to do with you and Hyejoo?”

“Just wait. I have more here.”

I then proceeded to open another tab, from my screenshots, this time, and showed him a photo of a young girl.

“Is that… that looks a lot like Hyejoo,” he said after examining the photo clearly. “I’m pretty sure that that is her. The background says it all. Why do you have her picture as a child? What is going on here?”

“Ah-huh, so you have a clear understanding what she and I looked like when we were young, right?”

“I get it. No, I don’t, actually. What the fuck does this have to do with--?”

“Now, tell me who these people are.”

I flashed him a picture of Olivia and I that was taken minutes after the scout’s photo I showed him earlier. Hyojong took a keen eye on the photo I showed him and eventually his eyes widened with realization.

“Holy shit… that’s you and… that’s you and Hyejoo! Are you telling me that you two have met before?”

“I told you that it’s that complicated. You’ll flip when I tell you the truth between us.”

“Oh god Sang-hoon; don’t tell me that she’s secretly a long lost sister? There’s no way you’d take a pic with her other than that, right?”

What?

“No, what the fuck man… let me finish. You see, that is how it’s so complicated. I just showed you a picture of me and ‘Hyejoo’… and it’s natural for you to think that we met during our younger years because of that photo I just showed you, correct? You’re right, and it’s the first thing that would come to mind as soon as I show that to other people as well, but the thing is… the person I had a photo with is not my girlfriend, Son Hyejoo, but instead was a different person by the name of Olivia Hye.”

Hyojong knit his eyebrows in confusion.

I got the leverage. Here we go.

“During my youth, I grew up far from my parent’s home country. It was twelve years ago, we were living in the outskirts of Australia when I saved a girl from getting carried away by a river current, and that girl turned out to be Olivia Hye. She was the one that you saw in the photo I showed earlier, the one who was with me as a child. Olivia and I were close since we were kids, almost doing everything together as long as our young minds could do. To cut it short, we became the closest of friends. Since we’re on the same year, almost, we went to school together. I guess you’d say that because we got so used to being with each other, we didn’t realize that our friendship slowly blossomed into romance. We were just so young to realize it. We promised to get married one day, even…”

“Holy shit, Sang-hoon, I didn’t know that it was this complicated. So are you telling me that this Olivia girl you met from before looked exactly like Hyejoo? Is that the reason why you’re acting like that right now?”

I didn’t even answer him as I scanned another photo of Olivia and showed it to him as well. This time, it was the last photo that was taken before the disease was even first diagnosed. It was, from what I could tell, the photo of her that showed huge similarities with Hyejoo’s current look. It was the last time I ever saw her healthy.

Hyojong’s face was clearly flushed out of colour as he emitted a soft shudder.

“Fuck, I just got goosebumps. Somehow this is really creepy. You’re telling me that the person in that photo is the Olivia girl and not Hyejoo?”

“Trust me; I had worse reactions when I first saw Hyejoo.”

“That makes sense… oh right, that’s the reason why you were so shocked when Hyejoo first came in to class. I didn’t know… they look so similar! Are you sure that they’re not twins or something? They’re so alike!”

I shook my head.

“They’re not. I’m certain of it. It was the only sensible reason why they’d look alike, but that’s not the case. I don’t know how it happened. It’s just that they’re… they’re so alike.”

“Holy shit, have you even showed this to Hyejoo? Where is this Olivia girl anyway? Have you considered even introducing Olivia to Hyejoo?”

My heart sank. I never got to tell this to someone.

The thought of the words even escaping my lips were already dreadful.

“That’s… that’s the thing. Olivia Hye was diagnosed with a mysterious disease before we even graduated high school. She died years ago even before I came to Korea to study.”

Hyojong’s face lost the remaining colour it had as he sank back to the chair as I did.

“Oh man… I’m sorry to hear about that. I didn’t know.”

“It is okay man… I honestly haven’t told this to anyone else because, well, I had no one else to tell it to. It feels really light to get it out after years of keeping it in.”

“Are you sure you’re cool with talking about this right now, Sang-hoon? You don’t need to talk if you don’t want to. We can end it here.”

I shook my head.

“No… I feel like at this point I had to tell it to someone else. The weight is beginning to take its toll on me and I think this was the only way out.”

“Alright then… when… when this Olivia girl died, were you there when she left this world?”

“I was present. I was with her. I was there on the hospital on the very day that she left. In fact, I failed to give her one final request because I was too slow. I was so clueless that evening, but we were left together on her hospital room talking about our graduation. That was when Olivia told me to get her tteukbokki. I went out that evening to fetch it for her, but when I came back she was just gone. The room was already flooded with doctors and her parents were already crying because of her demise. I could never look at tteukbokki again in the same way; never had one since.”

“God damn man… that must have been so hard to go through. I know that it must have been a long time since that happened but still… damn. It’s too much. I can’t imagine the pain it brought you.”

“Yeah…”

“But wait… now that I am aware of all this, Sang-hoon… my brain could only process so much even if I link everything together. So, if you’re telling me that you met a girl from your childhood and then she died before you even get married at this stage… then how did you end up dating Son Hyejoo then?”

“Do you see now why I feel like it’s wrong to date her? I’ve been debating with these thoughts for a while now, Hyojong. I’ve always had it on the back of my head. Ever since day 1 that I saw Hyejoo enter our classroom, I already knew that something was off. You always notice me uneasy whenever I’m around her, right? The reason behind that was I was trying my best to keep myself distanced from her because I just cannot stop seeing Olivia in her. I know that I might just be too crazy for what happened, but Hyejoo somehow has almost all of Olivia’s actions and even the smallest mannerisms. The way that she recoils after a bow, the way that her face rests when she’s thinking deeply… everything seemed to add up. I wanted to believe that they were different but then every time that I’m close to accepting it, I somehow end up closer to her.

“I went to Korea to accept that she’s finally gone and move on from with my new life, and the next thing I know was that I’m classmates with a girl that looked exactly like her. I try to stray away by not even talking to her, what do I get? I get pissed off with three seniors sexualizing her and end up talking to her after that. I try to stay away after that but it was Hyejoo that was coming closer to me. Can you see the reason why now, Hyojong?”

“Are you telling me that you think Hyejoo and Olivia is the same person?”

“It’s harder to find differences between them than to point out their similarities. Hyejoo herself said it, too; there’s something of a weird connection between us both. It’s like we’ve know each other, linked by a past that she can’t remember. Every detail feels so precise and I can feel it in my gut. I can feel the same person in her now that I’ve began to date her. I just can’t keep thinking about it, man…. What if Hyejoo is actually Olivia? What if, during those times after I thought she died, she actually lived and her memory became scuffed because of her disease?”

“Wait… that’s something that’s too serious of a deal to make something out of... How can you be sure that she remembers something from her past vaguely? Did she mention of a moment that you’re absolutely sure that only you and Olivia knew?”

I paused and thought for a bit… and then…

“Something happened fairly recently. We talked about something that… that I think perfectly links to the past.”

I made sure that I offered Hyojong a glassful of Soju, mutually clanged our glasses to it, and then proceeded to take a shot. I figured I needed that kind of leverage for something big that was about to come.

“Remember how I met Olivia for the first time… that time when I told you that I saved her life when she was stuck on the river when we were children? The thing is… Hyejoo mentioned to me that a certain accident, or in this case situation, happened to her years ago wherein she was almost killed. The only way that she survived that was because someone saved her but she just can’t remember. What if it we were actually talking about the same thing, Hyojong? What if the person who saved her from the accident was actually me when I pulled Olivia out from the river? Shouldn’t that be at least a small clue? I got goosebumps when I first heard it from her and I was immediately able to piece it together…. I mean, it all makes sense!”

“But I thought you said that dating Hyejoo was a mistake… why does it look like you’re justifying dating her because she’s like Olivia, man?”

“I… I honestly… I don’t know. At some point I felt like it was wrong to repeatedly force Oli into her because it was unfair… I never gave this a fair bit of thought until I mentioned everything to you. It added up as soon as I began to puzzle everything in. Think about it… maybe there’s a reason why I kept on meeting her, right? I have a lot of unfulfilled promises with Oli in the past, and if Hyejoo has even the slightest chance of being Olivia Hye, can you blame me if I could not stop thinking of that way?”

I sank in my chair just as Hyojong supplied me with a disappointed frown. He took another sip from the Soju and nodded silently.

“Okay then, Sang-hoon,” he said after minutes of silence between us both. “I get it. Let’s just say that that was the case. Let’s say that there is a slight chance that she somehow has all of Olivia’s traits, mannerisms… everything. Let’s just say that she is indeed Olivia just for the sake of this conversation. Sure. I just don’t get it man… you were there when she died, right? You mentioned to be in her deathbed when she flat lined and you were certain that she was indeed dead… how on earth could you even make the world any sense that Hyejoo is the Olivia girl just because of that, when you were so sure that she died in front of you?”

And that was the question. Hyojong had every right to ask me that because it was indeed a valid query. I, however, never even gave an answer to that before. The thought of it began snaking inside of me like an angry bison, yearning to deliver the truth within my own words.

My heart skipped a bit as I was ill-silent, still lost for words as I attempted to cover the bitter truth.

“Go ahead and tell me and please be honest with yourself. What made you think that Olivia survived that disease?”

“I… I… I figured she might have because… since she died, I was so depressed and I locked myself in my room, cut all ties with anything that would remind me of her…”

“And…?”

“I never saw Olivia get buried. I never attended her funeral after what happened in the hospital.”

---

If Hyojong had not started to freak out just yet, he most certainly was after what he just heard. The first few words that escaped from Sang-hoon’s lips were already too much to take in, but hearing that he didn’t even get to attend his first love’s supposed funeral was something else in his book. Hyojong’s expression went from mindlessly leering on his confession to full in shock; still in the final remnants of disbelief that his hearing was not clearly deceiving him.

“WHAT THE FUCK SANG-HOON? SHE WAS YOUR FIRST LOVE AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN GO TO HER FUCKING FUNERAL?” he expressed with a rather increased tone, which was more emphasized on surprise and not on anger.

Sang-hoon, on the other hand, felt a cold shiver run from head to toe. Somehow hearing the truth escape from someone else’s lips was far more terrifying than merely thinking about it alone.

“I… I-I c-can’t bring myself to go there! D-do you h-have any i-idea how hard it is to s-see that? I-I cannot accept that s-she’s dead!”

“Oh my god…” Hyojong expressed, shifting his position on the chair and aggressively combing his hair with his hands. He was clearly blushing off already from the alcohol however this time; it appeared to Sang-hoon that the extra colour was brought in by the excess emotion he felt. “Are you fucking serious right now? That’s it! That’s the exact reason why you’re in that very situation now! You caused that thing to come to yourself!”

“W-what… what do you mean…?”

“Can’t you see it?! You’re still being haunted by your memories of Olivia because you never gave yourself a closure! I do not mean to invalidate what you felt before, and if I was on your situation I might have done the same damn thing, but don’t you realize that the reason why you’re manifesting Olivia in Hyejoo was because you never believed that she ever died? You kept on seeing this Olivia girl in almost every aspect of Hyejoo because it was what you wanted to believe in!”

“What are you trying to say…?”

“Sang-hoon, you’re forcing Olivia into Hyejoo so much! I get that you had a lot of memories with this Olivia girl, and no one can take that from you… but you need to get out of your shell and face reality; Olivia’s dead, and the reason you kept on believing that she isn’t is because you never gave yourself the chance to get a closure with her. You need to move on at some point. Sang-hoon … she’s dead.”

He clenched his fist as the words pummelled heavier against his heart. He was not angry at Hyojong by any means, but rather he was furious about the fact that everything he’s saying has an ounce of sense and he can’t think of reasons to retort back to what he believed in.

“B-but Hyojong… all those signs… those weaving memories… those interlocking clues, the mannerisms… everything seemed to add up. I know, maybe it’s my fault that I didn’t get whatever closure I needed, but what if I really didn’t have to do that. Hyojong, come on; there’s a huge chance that what I’m saying is true! There’s no way that I can feel this gut feeling whenever I’m around her, right? I could not just ignore that, right; what if Olivia and Hyejoo is actually the same person and I’m just too naïve to think that they’re actually not?”

Hyojong sank and leaned on his chair. He took one good sip from the small glass of Soju and shook his head once again.

“What if she isn’t?” he snapped back.

“What…?”

“Sang-hoon, what if she isn’t Olivia? What if they just look really similar and they’re not really the same person? Have you ever thought about that?”

“I—“

“Have you ever thought the other side of the equation you’re chasing? What if the Olivia you met really died years ago and Hyejoo has no real relation to her? What if you’re trying to make yourself believe that they’re one and the same when there’s a good chance that they’re not? Have you ever thought of what Hyejoo would feel once she finds out of your reason; that you just agreed to date her because you’re seeing a different person instead of who she really is?”

He was already furious, frustrated even, that he could not bring himself to give a good and sensible answer to Hyojong. His fingers dug dangerously and painfully deep against his skin as he continued to clench his fist, trying his best to clear his mind off of thoughts that might plague him for the coming moments.

Hyojong was right, and he had every reason to question him like that. Perhaps he was the one thing he needed, even though he really did not intend the young man to go and scold him out in the open like that. The words were painful, but they did their job of waking Sang-hoon up from a long trance he could otherwise not get himself out of.

“I’m sorry. I got a bit too heated up,” Hyojong said as he breathed heavily while at the same time scratching the back of his head. “I just wanted to express what I felt. I’ve seen how you stalked Hyejoo before… I never realized that it was this deep. Had I known, I should not have teased you before knowing that there was a huge, personal reason. Seeing her like that must felt like a ghost. I can’t really blame you for feeling that.”

“It’s okay… I understand that you’re really into this. It’s the welfare of another person we’re talking about, after all. If it was not for you, I would never have realized these things on my own. My pride just won’t let me do so. It was really frustrating to hear those from you because deep down, I know that you’re right. Maybe I am forcing too much of Oli into Hyejoo.”

“You know what I think is the best for you to do? I think you should give yourselves some space for a short time. I know you just became a couple, but for the sake of this relationship going on for long, you should find your peace first, man.”

“Are you telling me I should break up with her? Do you have any idea how crazy that might be?”

“I’m not saying that, although maybe you should do it in the long run when things become worse. For the meantime, just give yourself some time to think. Hyejoo would not mind if you take a week off right? Tell her it’s a personal family trip, maybe… but in that week you can go somewhere and get your thoughts together about Olivia. I’m pretty sure after all these years of keeping it within yourself; you ought to get your heart the peace it deserves. You can’t continue on with that unless you want your relationship to end, that is as if it’s not doomed from the beginning already.”

“What else should I do to do that? It’s not like I can just go to her funeral if I wanted to…”

Hyojong picked filled half of his glass with Soju and poured Sang-hoon the same amount. He then proceeded to drink a portion of it not even letting Sang-hoon give him cheers.

“The only person who can think of that is you, Sang-hoon. Only you can give yourself the peace you rightfully deserve. I’m sure there’s a place in your head. There’s a place where you can find the real peace you’ve been craving for. If you don’t want to do this for yourself or for Hyejoo, then at least do it for the memory of Olivia. Do it so that she can finally rest in peace knowing you’ve moved on from her.”

Sang-hoon could only nod in silence, agreeing to Hyojong’s statement of the truth. He was already choking on tears. For that moment, the high emotions that Hyojong set for their conversation finally subsided. Somehow, that short outburst of emotion from his head cleared him of his drunkenness as he seemed to have instantly sobered up. Sang-hoon, too, felt that. His pride being trampled upon by the truth was more than enough to wash the alcohol away without even having to pee.

Wherever this place was that Hyojong was talking about, he knew he could crack it at some point later. One thing was for sure: if he really wanted to settle things between him and Hyejoo, he should do this as soon as he could possibly do so. And so, as he shared the final stretches of his drinking session with Hyojong, he promised himself that in the next couple of days, he would find his heart for what it was really seeking…

… And maybe give Olivia’s soul the well-deserved rest it longed.

Of course, there was only one place he could go to…

---FOUR DAYS LATER---

Let’s just say that I am fortunate enough to swing from country-to-country in a matter of days. It was such a short notice that I barely even managed to pull it off. One could say that maybe it was purely out of impulse, surely after that conversation with Hyojong loosened up a lot of things in my head, and I failed to even weigh the eventual consequences of my actions and now I’m here. I’m back where Olivia and I grew up; maybe quite longer than I ever intended to. I knew I should have come back here as soon as I could have. There was no better time I could have done this than now.

I intentionally left this bit out of the picture. It would appear to everyone back in South Korea that I just dipped out of nowhere, especially from Hyejoo. I could just not bring myself to properly talk to her after that conversation. Of course, there was still that part of me that felt ‘undeserving’ of her, and so before I could even be swayed into another direction just by her presence, I went off and headed to Australia. I could only hope that Hyojong, given the testaments I left during our talk, would piece things up and eventually explain things to Hyejoo and Gowon.

It would appear that I just got snapped out of existence, but in my opinion it was better this way.

Arriving here felt a weird mix of familiar and foreign. The unwanted combination of the time I’ve been gone here and the eventual changes that came to be, things seemed to be strange to me. It would stand to reason that I would be merely heading here not knowing of what to do, but luckily the contact I messaged offered a good guide and managed to make my way from the airport, and into the town where Oli and I once lived.

Today I stood atop of a once-grassy hill; the surrounding vegetation clearly subdued off of its greenery with the years that had passed. The place was still the same, for the most part: a small resting place was wrought under a very familiar tree. It sure had aged with all the years that passed under its branches, but still the comfort of having the view of the afternoon sun grazing the soft horizon provided a view that was breath-taking. The peace was there, yet now that I came back; it only became more serene than ever. It made sense as to why she would choose this as her final resting place.

After all these years, the tree that Oli and I made our marriage promise before, served as her grave. There was no tombstone to even see, just the simple place of the hill overlooking the town. Olivia wanted to watch the sunset forever, and this would be the first time she’d ever see it with me.

“I know that it was odd,” Mr Hye’s voice came from behind me as I watched the tree dance on the afternoon wind. “Normally people would choose a cemetery or maybe cremation… our Olivia was different. She never ruled out the idea that she may not survive her disease. In the event that that would happen, she made sure to tell us to have her buried on this very tree. It must have meant something to her.”

“It sure does, Mr Hye. I can’t even tell you how significant this place is for her… for us. I can see now why she chose this.”

“I insisted on a different place, but her mother wanted to follow Olivia’s final request down to the last detail. There was no tombstone, no marking, no anything. It would even be hard to believe that someone is actually buried here.”

My heart could have just exploded at that very moment with all the emotion that I was feeling. Blood was rushing from all over my body; to the point that I could even feel it flowing on my very toes. I was so hooked into the emotion that I didn’t even notice a soft tear trail down from the corner of my right eye down to my cheek. Having to come back here felt like I was being washed from head to foot by Olivia’s presence; surely, she was right here with both me and Mr Hye.

I proceeded to walk towards the tree bark as if I was on a trance, and carefully ran my fingers on the trunk located close at its roots. The tree swayed as its leaves rustled in welcome, as if greeting me finally after a good while. Slowly, my fingers ran through the soft ridges and etch of the rough bark, eventually finding my way on a wanted writing.

It has carefully faded after all these years, but I could still feel it in my fingertips. It was the carving that Olivia did when we were little; the very traces of text that once had her warm hands graze on the surface of the trunk bearing the words: Olivia & Sang-hoon.

“There’s no tombstone, Mr Hye… but I could tell that this is where she’s buried. I can tell so much.”

I hear Mr Hye sob from behind me, making me turn my attention towards him. Years have passed and yet he still had the same look to him, albeit his face clearly showed the evidence of the passage of time.

“I’ve never been so glad to see you finally come here, Sang-hoon. I always knew that you’d come back, eventually… now I can be happy knowing our Olivia’s peaceful now. I’m really happy that you’re already here…”

“I’m… I’m sorry that it took me so long, sir. I have a lot of things to be sorry for; the funeral, her burial ceremony… I missed all of that because I was so heartbroken. I should have considered how she would feel before I revelled in my emotions too much… I have so much to regret…”

Mr Hye shook his head.

“It’s all okay now, son… I’m sure Olivia knew what you were feeling and she would have understood. If anything, you knew my daughter more than I ever did, so I am not really in 100% of a position to talk in her place. I’m sure she’s happy. I know it.”

“Mr Hye…”

“Our Olivia… she was never always an extravagant person and you know that. She’s happy seeing her friends and, for your case, the only person she truly loved on her sixteen years of existence. On her last moments, she made me promise to help all those who were suffering from what she went through. My wife and I… we elected to start a charity in her honour. The smallest thing we could do for her is to offer assistance to those who needed it, and hopefully increase the chance of survival of people suffering from her disease. We’re still small, but at least there’s something that my wife and I could look forward to in her name.”

“Oli… Olivia wanted you to help…?”

Mr Hye nodded.

“It’s amazing how she can still touch other people’s souls even after she’s dead, right? My daughter is a very mystical one… I can tell that for sure. Somehow seeing you here with her felt like the final pieces of the puzzle, Sang-hoon. Thank you so much for visiting our Olivia. I can’t thank you enough for it.”

She sure does, Mr Hye…

Her power and influence even beyond death is crazy.

“Well… I think I ought to leave the two of you here,” he continued. “It’s been a long time coming, Sang-hoon, and you two have a lot to catch up on. Stay with her for as long as you like. Stop by the house, okay? My wife had prepared a couple of snacks and maybe we can talk on a couple of things as well.”

He bowed in courtesy and I could only smile in return. That was it. That was my chance.

I had to ask him the one thing that was bugging me ever since I met Hyejoo.

“Mr Hye… sorry, but before you could go, there’s one thing I just wanted to ask you. It’s a question about Olivia.”

“Hmmm…? What is it, Sang-hoon? Go on and ask ahead.”

This would feel weird.

“Did Olivia have a… a twin sister or perhaps a relative that looked so similar to her?”

Mr Hye knit his eyebrows and then smiled.

“I don’t think there’s anyone in this world looking exactly like my daughter, Sang-hoon. Even on our family, she had the most unique face. No, she did not have a twin sister. Why did you ask, son?”

“I… I just thought I saw someone who looked exactly like her. Maybe I just miss her a lot.”

“I miss her too, Sang-hoon … I’m pretty sure that if ever there was a person who looked exactly like my Olivia… then maybe that’s where we’d be. Regardless, my daughter is at peace now, and like I said I better leave you two because you have a lot to catch up on. Don’t forget to head to the house, okay? Please take all the time that you need, son. You’ve grown so much… you’ve grown to one fine lad. I could only hope that she’s here with us.”

“Thank you, sir. I’ll be there soon, I promise.”

With a final nod, Olivia’s father finally turned in place and descended the grassy hill. I do not know what has gotten into me but I somehow could not remove my gaze from him as my gaze transferred into the distance.

We were here.

Olivia and I were once together in this hill overlooking the beautiful landscape. The sunset was as pristine as I could remember.

Oh god… how young and unaware we were…

At some point we spent our day here not knowing that it would be the last.

I would have wanted us to be reunited in this place under different circumstances, but in the end I am glad that I came here for this reason. Things could have been worse and I could only take what I could with me.

I thought I would spend the next couple of minutes with my eyes and thoughts lost on the horizon, but then I found myself sitting on the grassy surface with my back leaned against the tree. There was an odd sensation… somehow I promised to Olivia’s father that I would be here with her, maybe even talking to her presence if ever she was there. Initially, when I was at the plane on the way here, that was how I imagined my first venture here would be. Then, maybe there was a part of surprise that Olivia was actually buried on the ‘Promise Tree’ and things certainly changed…

Somehow sitting here, I can feel here presence. It was not that whole ‘supernatural’ thing that people claim to feel. No, I do not feel her ghostly presence with me but rather… I could feel her entire ‘being’, or more so her very essence. It was akin to that feeling of finally going home after a long while. There was nothing peculiar; not even a sliver or an apparition of her but I can definitely tell that some part of her was there. The tree itself seemed to have given me that. I noticed it swayed its branches gleefully into the wind.

It was difficult enough to not fall asleep especially on a place like this, just like how we both did when we were young. The peace was exciting; the atmosphere it provides soothed my soul up to its very minute. I thought I was going to be sad; that I was going to cry in regret for not coming here after everything that we’ve been through…

But no… it was fundamentally different.

I could only close my eyes and let the wind breeze on my skin. The soft rustle of the leaves above, the chirping of the birds on the distance, even the gently rush of the river nearby where I first met Olivia…

It sure felt home, but an overdue type of deal.

It’s like that good feeling you get when you visit home, but deep down you know that the reality is you’re going to leave at some point. However, you’re still thankful that the soft reset of the mind was there. It felt exactly just like that.

Minutes passed and I am starting to get carried away with the environment. It was so peaceful; so nostalgic and borderline addicting. It certainly was worlds different from my life at Seoul...

I wish I could stay here in this moment forever…

I don’t want to chase you anymore, Olivia.

Please, just take me with you.

And then, that was it.

I felt a sudden familiar scent pass me by, beckoning me to open my eyes in an instant. It was a shock; only for a split second did I managed to get a whiff at it, but there was no mistaking. The scent was too familiar to me to not even recognize on the first time; add the fact that I should not even smell it on a place like this…

She’s here. Olivia just passed by me.

I was certain. That scent was her favourite shampoo. I could not be wrong about it.

That instantly felt as if it sobered me up out of being drunk; shaking me off of my personal trance. It was a crazy-scary sensation that instantly made the hairs on the back of my neck stand, only to be followed after by a sudden warm sensation.

Then, what immediately followed after that was calmness. Strange enough, as much as I should already be freaking out at this point in time, I just did not. Surely having to smell that scent that my senses haven’t experience for the longest time is supposed to blow my head out of the water, but there was that assurance right after. I don’t know. I was so shocked that I felt that for a moment but then my heart was beating normally. It could have been my imagination, but I could have sworn that it was real.

Somehow, as I was looking around for some possible sorts of sources for that scent, an excerpt of Olivia’s final entry on her diary echoed in my head:

You have to live well and healthy unlike me, so don’t remember me for too long. Please be happy for me. Live, Sang-hoon. Live because I love you more than anything else in this life.

That line seemingly made sense to me now. A simple warm feeling after her scent faded away. It was as if to say that I came here to get the meaning of her letter’s final message. I needed to give myself the peace from Olivia that it ever so longingly wanted.

I have to live without her.

I have to move on.

Hyejoo was, perhaps, another part of Olivia’s power to remind me that she’ll be there in the very end.

We’re there already; I managed to go dating someone who looked exactly like her. Maybe she was the one who guided me to find her. I get it now.

In the end, she was still looking after me.

She saved me.

Olivia wanted me to still have her in some form. Perhaps Hyejoo was the beginning of that.

I could only thank Hyojong for pointing things out to me, now I can finally go back to South Korea in peace.

I can go back and accept finally that Olivia is dead and that Hyejoo is a different person that she sent for me.

---SOMETIME LATER---

“Hey… umm… Hyejoo, it’s me, Sang-hoon. I know that I’ve been gone without any real notice to you and I was banking on the fact that maybe you would have asked Hyojong of my whereabouts. I went abroad and cleared things off of my head for a moment. I’m in Korea now. I’m sorry for a lot of things, especially leaving without even a notice. My line is open in case you wanted to give me a call. I can’t really bring myself to call you. I’m sorry and I love you.”

Sang-hoon had rehearsed that line a couple of times while he was still on the plane back to South Korea and managed to find the final iteration to send to Hyejoo through voice mail. Even on the airport, that sliver of anxiety still haunted him as he found his way towards his apartment. The cab ride was even left on the background as he repeatedly checked his line in case Hyejoo finally replied. There was no response, even in the repeated attempts he made it was merely just a single, dead tab.

He arrived at his apartment at a weird afternoon. Jetlag surely took its toll on him as he felt extremely frail after quick flights here and there, and ultimately Sang-hoon decided to ditch the classes on the following morning. He was already absent for almost a week anyway, and in his head he might as well complete it for the time-being. After all, with that huge closure he got from travelling to his home town, he figured he needed some sort of reward for himself. It would feel odd to have it like that, but he could only take so much of what was given to him. Even one day off of his classes ought to help him out like so especially when the rain was so hard up outside.

With that, all he had was the apartment for himself. It was not, by any means a huge apartment; as such a small pod for a student such as himself ought to be better than having too much space he would not even use otherwise.

He was perhaps fortunate to have arrived before evening even came for quick and sharp thunderstorms began to plague the city as the night finally unfolded. The rain would simply not let up as it was torrential; even heard inside the otherwise silent room. Sang-hoon could only settle back, let his mind loose for a couple of moments by getting lost on some early evening TV shows with the thoughts of the post-dinner sleep ought to get him back on track. One long and drawn out sleep was the final piece of the puzzle and he’d be sure that his head would be okay again come tomorrow.

Hopefully the weather would be up by then as well.

DING

Then there was that. It was clearly a ring from the installed doorbell of his apartment yet even Sang-hoon second-guessed himself. Clearly, with the torrent of rain outside, he could not think of a person who would even knock at his door at that time of the night; especially not with the impeding thunderstorms reaping the skies open with the repeated flashing. On top of that, he could not event think of a person who would even knock on this time of the night. Even with that though, he immediately turned down the TV and moved to answer the door. He swung it open and met the eyes of the door’s ringer with quite a shock.

Dressed in a long, brown raincoat that stretched and covered down to the knees, high boots, a red beanie and a black umbrella that was dripping on her side, she stood there with a hopeful expression on her face; her eyes gleaming with joy as she finally saw the person she wanted to see.

Son Hyejoo stood on his doorstep; her raincoat wet from the rain outside.

“H-Hyejoo…!” He squeaked as lightning flashed outside once more. “Come in, it’s raining so hard outside! You’re soaked!”

“I’m sorry for barging in. I hope I didn’t interfere with you in any way.”

“Quick, remove your coat so I can let it dry in the bathroom. I can get you some extra clothes you can change into so that you can warm yourself up.”

Hyejoo did as he suggested and handed him her dripping rain coat, revealing a button plaid shirt she wore underneath as well as a black skirt. Fortunately, since the rain coat was able to tank through the heavy rain, everything else was left dry aside the hem of her short skirt, eventually removing the socks and the boots that were soaked as well. He moved and locked the door and that one action shut the roaring rain from the outside.

“Do you want to change, Hyejoo-ah?” Sang-hoon offered as he called back, walking towards the bathroom to hang the dripping raincoat. “I have a couple of clothes that I think would fit onto you. They’re large, but I’m sure that they’ll fit.”

“I’m… I’m okay. I’m pretty much dry. I g-guess just a blanket would do… can I sit on your couch?”

“Are you sure about that?” Sang-hoon said, returning from the bathroom. He then moved towards Hyejoo and held her hands, feeling the coldness from the rain. “You’re cold. I think you need to change.”

Hyejoo shook her head.

“No, Sang-hoon … I’m fine. Just… just stay with me. I-I came here because I missed you. I was so worried when you disappeared. Even Hyojong had no idea where you went to… I thought you went on off ahead and left… please don’t d-do that again. I-I was so a-afraid that—“

“Shh, I won’t go. I’m sorry, my Hyejoo. I’m here. I’m here for you.”

Any attempt of reply from Hyejoo’s part was immediately thrown out of the window as he moved to embrace the young woman. For the first time since they had started to date each other, Sang-hoon felt his own hug to be genuine. It was as if it was the first time that he was hugging Hyejoo on full 100%; any thought of Olivia’s presence on that moment was even surprisingly forgotten. That moment, for sure, he was hugging Son Hyejoo with all of his heart.

It might also be the first time that he recognized her to be his girlfriend, as Son Hyejoo, officially.

The thought of having someone actually be afraid of losing him hurled Sang-hoon’s emotion to the skies as he felt his entire body succumb to Hyejoo’s immortal gaze. His pulse rose as his ears went hot, in turn making him hug his girlfriend harder and tighter than before. After that, the couple each took a step back, broke off of the embrace, and found their way at the couch yet still kept each other’s hands intact.

Sang-hoon then proceeded to hold Hyejoo’s soft cheek with his hand and smiled in the silence.

“I’m not going anywhere anymore. I’ve never felt so at home more than I ever could have.”

“Where have you been anyway? Why did you disappear all of a sudden?”

He shook his head.

“It’s no longer important. I… I just tried to clear my mind off of things. I think university has taken too much of a work to me that I just… I needed some room to breathe and re-evaluate myself and I wanted to come back when I was sure of what I wanted, and now I’m more than certain. I’m so sorry for leaving without letting you know.”

“I missed you so much! Don’t do that ever again you pabo!”

“I love you, Hyejoo.”

Son Hyejoo froze as she sat opposite Sang-hoon. She planted her gaze on his longing eyes; the very irises that seemingly were always filled with sadness seemed to be different at that evening. His eyes were reassuring, more than anything, and felt really happy that she was there. Hyejoo could only appreciate so much of what was going on around her, even with the occasional flashes of lightning and the boom of thunder from outside, she was just happy that she’s alone with him.

It was perhaps too much longing from Hyejoo’s side that she immediately lunged to plant her soft lips on his, much to the young man’s surprise.

Deep down, however, Sang-hoon could not deny that he too felt the same longing for her. On the first phases of their relationship together, he was very much conflicted distinguishing Olivia from Hyejoo and that he was always chased by the ghost if his past. He cannot give his all and acknowledge them both as dating on the full confidence that he was not dating a sliver of Olivia. However, on that night things have changed. He knew that there was no other reason for him to see Olivia in Hyejoo once again, and so with that kiss he quickly returned it to her; caressing Hyejoo’s soft cheeks as they kept their lips hooked on one another.

It was like glue, more than anything else. Hyejoo’s kisses were far from dry as they were filled with longing for his presence. The young man, on the other end of the spectrum, felt more of guilt, yet the thought of impending pleasure felt more than enough to have him clamped tightly on Hyejoo’s embrace. It resulted in most of his kissed being completely dry, merely letting Hyejoo carry on with the heated session.

Then, there was a pause. It was not brought by either of them realizing how far they’ve come as neither really wanted to stop, but rather it was the apartment itself. The anger of the rain and the thunder from the outside blew an electrical component somewhere in the city and inevitably resulted in a widespread power outage. The torrent of the rain from the outside could never have been more audible as well as each of the couple disappearing with the darkness save for a couple of flashes here and there. It was natural to come, yet for Sang-hoon and Hyejoo it was a warning.

The brief delay was like an eye-opener as they both sat inches from each other, trying to make up the details of the other’s face amidst the faint light. It was like jolts of electricity possibly even rivalling the ones coming high from the skies above but came was a mundane phenomenon; a short glimpse of certainty whether to proceed or back out.

“Is there something wrong?” He asked as he toned himself out a bit, and proceeded to ask in order to be safe.

Hyejoo merely shook her head as lightning flashed through the deep, curtained windows once again. She held on to Sang-hoon with her hands, surprisingly warm after that encounter, and moved to pull him with her as she stood up. Whatever she was planning ahead, it was already certain for Sang-hoon. The choice has been made when she decided to pull him rather than to apologize, and just like that the rest of the apartment disappeared like the rain while they both made their way to his bedroom. All thoughts of any other person aside from her were ignored and there was no one there but Choi Sang-hoon and Son Hyejoo.

The sound of squeaking steel followed by the soft click of the door’s locks was the signal that isolated him and Hyejoo from the rest of the chaotic world. The room was dark even without the outage thanks to the thick curtains pulled over the blinds of the small bedroom. It was a simple bed, table and cabinet arrangement that Hyejoo expected from a person living alone, even more so for such a bizarrely unique individual such as Choi Sang-hoon. She turned her attention to the guy after she locked the door, and there she approached his looming figure, perhaps even more intimidating because of the dark.

Hyejoo leaned closer as soon as she killed the distance between them both and he was quick to meet her lips with his own. It was quick; a smack as others would say, but to Hyejoo it was powerful enough to send her message across as if it was not blatantly clear already.

Another kiss progressed, harder this time, which caused his knees to weaken and seat on the bed. Hyejoo was quick to follow on the gesture as she immediately rested her weight by sitting on Sang-hoon’s lap, having the rest of the guy’s legs in between hers. Whatever urges caused her to go that far, it may as well have depleted as she felt herself awkward, and possibly realizing what she’s implying with her across since she even arrived there.

However, his natural instincts told him to put his hands on her hips in attempt to keep things grounded, and it was exactly what he did. That gesture caused Hyejoo to raise his head up and meet his gaze, flashed once again from the lightning through the curtains. There was a soft, drawn out kiss that followed, and similar to Hyejoo, Sang-hoon was clear to send his message to her as well: It would be alright. Hyejoo parted the kiss and slowly unbuttoned her plaid shirt while making sure to not remove eye contact from him all throughout. Soon, the black tank she wore underneath joined the discarded clothing on the floor below, basking in the evening light as Hyejoo sat atop Sang-hoon with only her black bra.

The room was barely even lit, yet the young man could trace through the dark silhouette and make up her body. Hyejoo always had that deceptive body; a rather sizeable bust concealed within the sin of the university uniform. The rest of her body; her thighs, her hips, her waist, everything seemed to have sprung out to match her shoulders and her chest. Now, he started to curse the outage for hiding such a beholding sight now limited thanks to the darkness. Nevertheless, it was an unbelievable yet captivating physique to him.

Sang-hoon let his lips explore the unseen wonder for him; planting soft, supple kisses that travelled downward starting from her neck; making sure that the kisses became wetter and deeper as he aimed for her cleavage. He found his target and gave Hyejoo’s profound collarbone a nimble bite before proceeding to kiss it as well, earning a hesitant moan from his girlfriend. Hearing the sound escape from her, he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss; Hyejoo’s breathing hitched almost immediately.

Son Hyejoo could only plant her eyes on what she could see while Sang-hoon made his way towards her cleavage. The bonds that linked them together strengthened for sure and the fire of the moment could only be blamed for it. He pulled her closer and pushed his lips deeper onto her chest, slowly creeping closer to her bountiful tits only to hesitate at the final moment. He withdrew and seemingly caught up with himself; pausing for a bit as he took in the moment. It was too fast, even for him. Hyejoo was aware of this and seemed to have caught on as well as she moved to take the hand on her hip and, with a cold grasp, planted it at the middle of her mounds. He let his mind in looser and took it as an invitation and eventually caressed Hyejoo’s soft tits while thanking her with a passionate kiss as light flashed once more from the outside. A little hand lock was, perhaps, the icing on top of the cake.

The ecstasy could only be so tolerable with how they were situated and later he finally gave in and let his back loose as they both crashed on top of the bed, lips still lost with each other and one hand exploring the presented body. Hyejoo was persistent as well, thinking that maybe she should match the pressure being brought to her. Albeit with a hint of caution, she moved caress the soft hulk of his arms, feeling his toned arms that matched his otherwise taller physique. He returned the favour as well by caressing her sizeable mounds while keeping him at bay to not simply unhook her tits right away. The small fabric that concealed her for him; the thought of having something to look forward was an idea he dearly loved.

Hyejoo, however, wanted things to be a bit different. The silence was finally broken, aside from the strong rains from outdoors, by Hyejoo finally speaking her mind for the first time since they left the couch.

“I want to be on the bed. Please.”

The request felt more like a plea with how soft she delivered it. Nonetheless, Sang-hoon was quick to budge as he quickly switched places with Hyejoo before laying her down. Despite the darkness, her harrowing presence glowed amidst the quite room, shimmering in the flashing of the lights brought by the weather.

He was quick to pursue the already established passion between them both, resuming his soft kisses on the girl’s lips with his hands having a mission of their own. Slowly, he channelled his supple lips all across her waiting body like a torturous tease; making sure that every moment was felt in the deepest way possible.

His hand continued to massage Hyejoo’s tits, trying his best to work around the bra and feel what he was intending to feel. With his hand occupied, his lips eventually trailed further down Hyejoo’s body, worshipping the immaculate sculpt of her voluptuous midriff as he added subtle licks to his kissing. He could only see so much but it indeed added to his increasing lust as he relied more on his senses to explore things that were previously unseen.

Sang-hoon slid his hands towards Hyejoo’s back, caressing the soft skin along the way. The message was clear, and luckily she was able to catch up on him. However, there was a moment’s hesitation as she held Sang-hoon’s hand before he could move to unhook her bra.

“I… I… j-just remove the hook…” she whispered, lightning illuminating her faint face.

He nodded and moved accordingly, with Hyejoo assisting the act by lifting her back up for him. With a flick of his fingers, he did the deed but proceeded no further upon her request; electing instead to carefully slide his hand away from her back but giving a good trace on her spine. He hung for a good moment, staring at the figure below him as he waited for her move. Hyejoo repeatedly rubbed her arms together as she brought her forearms up to her chest, eventually grasping the straps with her hands and slowly throwing them into the void of the bedroom.

Another inaudible curse shot its way inside his mind. It was not because he could barely see what was going on, but because he could perfectly make out the details of Hyejoo’s exposed tits even with the minimal lighting, even echoing a soft bounce as they finally hung free. It was perhaps a reflex from his end that he immediately grabbed the pair and kneaded Hyejoo’s exposed nipples with his thumbs. Surely, the overload of sensations could easily end him and yet the dark was serving like an informal blindfold, beckoning him to want more.

Sang-hoon immediately moved and flicked his tongue on her areolas and it seemed to have taken Hyejoo by surprise. Granted, she could not really see much from her end and so the sudden sensation was too much even for her, and inevitably an airy and uncontrolled moan escaped her lips. It was too hot even for her and her panties seemed to agree as well. Her skirt definitely lost the minimal purpose it had as it was completely upturned below her. Whether it was intentional for Sang-hoon or not, nothing was on the line already.

The kiss from her breasts were cut short as Sang-hoon raised his body for a brief moment and gently slid his hands down towards Hyejoo’s core, passing her tummy and eventually reaching the hem of her skirt and her underwear. A convenient flash was imminent, showcasing him the look her Hyejoo biting her own lip as if to prevent herself from moaning. And so, without any other ounce of hesitation from her end, he gave a soft tug and pulled them both at once. Hyejoo raised folded her legs as it got pulled, and he could not help but marvel at the sight. Slowly, as the final ounces of fabric Hyejoo wore were stripped off of her body, he took his time to plant kisses on her thighs, as if they weren’t already exposed with her skirt previously.

A soft clunk was the signal and Hyejoo was naked in front of him, shrouded merely by the dark room yet her outlines were exposed nonetheless. The flashing itself served as another part of the tease; only allowing soft glimpses of Hyejoo’s shaved pussy in that very room.

“Can you remove some clothes too?” She said softly. Her cheeks flared yet it was not even seen by Sang-hoon.

He quickly nodded and moved to grab the hem of his shirt, but he was stopped by Hyejoo’s leg.

“I want to do it… please.”

The request was odd but doable nonetheless. Sang-hoon did the first couple of honours as he unbuttoned his shorts before proceeding to lie down, all while Hyejoo rolled out of the bed and stood on its foot.

Hyejoo knelt between his legs and pulled his shorts and briefs almost in the same courtesy as he did to her. Now, to save some time, Sang-hoon pulled the shirt off of him as well. He didn’t even have time to register his nudity when he already felt his shaft was wrapped with Hyejoo’s tense fingers, seemingly buzzing off thousands of signals all over his naked body.

The first greeting she did was to give it a soft lick, admiring the mushroom tip of his penis leaking with pre-cum. She was shaking, but seemed to know what to do. The question of him being her first was not the concern, but rather the moment that was about to come. Things were too intimate to even think about the smallest of things.

Soft and long strokes followed with Hyejoo kneeling on the bed. The rain had notably toned down from the outside, settling on mere drizzles as even the lightning fell apart. The outline of her body was projected even further. Eyes finally adjusted, and it would seem that he could finally see the beauty of his naked girlfriend below her. Strands of Hyejoo’s hair tickled the perimeter of his cock as the girl seemed to debate whether she’d settle for a hand job, or use something else entirely.

“Can I?” she asked with a heavy breath.

He initially nodded and then realized…

“Go ahead. I’m with you, Hyejoo-ah~ Do whatever you want.”

That oddly turned her on. Having complete control, having his full permission really turned her on. That was all the drive that she needed.

She quit exploring and focused her mind solely at the task at hand. Hyejoo began by giving his cock a soft lick from bottom to tip, anxious if she had done things properly. She had never done this before, nor even imagined herself doing it sooner, so no visual preparations were done for that matter. The feeling of her boyfriend’s dick lodged on her mouth was not even a part of her illusions, but there she was. That moment, she was merely going on instinct. Hyejoo was shaking as she attempted to keep things under control; split between slowly letting her mouth do the work or merely let her animalistic urges drive her and head on furiously.

There were a couple of strokes that followed and Hyejoo seemed to have found the rhythm that suited her. She inserted good, drawn strokes after one good suck. The reaction coming from his body told her perfectly that she was doing things correctly.

Her head began to bob slowly, yet there was still a moment’s hesitation going from her. He could feel her keeping herself; probably even trying to not even unveil all out. It was surprising to think that despite that, Hyejoo was giving him the time of his life. Her tongue was perfectly held on the right places, on his most sensitive spots. She increased in pace, bobbing her head quickly but clearly out of experience. It was, however, enough for Sang-hoon to feel what he should feel. Insert a couple of sucking, and she was practically pleasuring him more than she knew.

“H-Hyejoo, wait,” He gasped. “N-not yet…”

“I… I’m sorry… I don’t k-know what I’m d-doing…”

“It’s fine. Do you want me to lead the way?”

She raised her head and nodded in the silence, and then Hyejoo carefully moved to slide herself towards the sheets as she lay against her back. This time, it was him who recoiled back towards the end of the bed and gazed over the figure of Hyejoo before him.

Surely, it took a good amount of time before his eyes finally adjusted to the light and now, he didn’t even need any sort of illumination to make-up the perfect sculpt of Hyejoo’s amazing body. The skies have probably cleared from outside as well, allowing a minimal amount of light to enter, just perfect for him to see what he wanted to see.

And there Sang-hoon saw an oddity on her body, albeit he must be seeing things differently with the limited lighting. It would appear to him as if Hyejoo’s cleavage extended from both ends of her boobs not far from the end of her collar bone down to what would be the edge of her sternum.

In his head, now that her tits were free, there was no way that he’d show that profound cleavage, but then again Hyejoo’s breasts were always deceptively huge as they were hidden under the clothing. Surely it was just one of the many secrets being conveyed to him on that intimate moment. It was definitely one of the deepest cleavages he had seen on any other actress he stumbled upon on his youth.

“H-hey… what’s the matter?”

“N-nothing… I’m… I’m going down now…”

He dismissed that thought in his head and proceeded to what he was initially planning to do, and that was to eat his girlfriend out on the best way he possibly could. He stopped and brought her lips on her lowers, greeting it with a long, upward lick followed by flicks on her clit. All those were returned by contained moans coming from Hyejoo’s end. She was moist, and that was expected, but the whole idea of Sang-hoon eating her out seemed to make things more erotic.

His hands ventured towards her tits as he continued to lick her pussy, feeling the depth of her cleavage first-hand. As he transitioned towards the other, he felt the bump of the supposed deep cleavage like a long line, but elected to ignore it with all the moaning that she has been doing.

Hyejoo’s body automatically responded by gently grinding her hips against his face, only to be met by a hungrier flick by her lover’s tongue. He had started to come to circles on her clit as well, sending her into an indomitable frenzy. Louder moans escaped her needy mouth as her fluids began to leak further.

Moments later, Hyejoo’s reactions became more imminent on her bodily movements. She began to grasp the bed with the sheets being more crumpled on her touch. Her legs began to momentarily move around his ears with her hips trembling more and more with the coming orgasm. She was screaming into the evening, no longer caring if she could even be heard by the neighbours on the dark evening. Something was bound to come and it was very prominent already. There was no going back.

“Oh my god~” she moaned, succumbing to the pleasure of her pussy.

Instead of altering his pace, Sang-hoon instead proceeded even further and even made sure to repeatedly thrust his tongue back and forth to meet her rocking. The bed had started to creak, but even that was given no real attention. Hyejoo was about to cum and it would only be a matter of time.

Hyejoo’s hips vibrated just as her thighs clasped his head and her back arched, and what followed was the raw squirt of her juices enveloping his awaiting mouth, topped by a long and drawn out moan for what it was worth. Heavy breathing followed the insane sensation; her chest heaving up and down as her orgasm finally subsided while her boyfriend continued to clean the mess that was clearly his fault.

He eventually trailed up and joined her on the sheets. The bare moonlight peering through the dark curtains managed to illuminate her messy face; forehead sweating and strands of hair all over her plain face. She was still out of breath from all that and he ought to give her all the time she needed because the best was just about to come.

She turned her face towards him and gave a long, ‘thank-you’ kiss.

“Are you okay?” he asked out of assurance.

“I am… we’re net yet done now, are we?”

“We’ve made it this far… we might as well go all the way. I love you Hyejoo.”

“I love you too. D-do you have a condom?”

He nodded as he moved to fish out a small sachet from his jean pocket. He never expected things to turn out this way but the purchase sure yielded its reward. He took that as an insurance in case he got too desperate to move on from the Olivia/Hyejoo conflict, and yet there he was about to use it on her. It was almost poetic to even think about. There was a rip, a roll, and perhaps a little stumble here and there but things managed to work out. Hyejoo went from sitting in anticipation to sitting in preparation, knowing that with his approaching figure, it was time for the best part.

He slowly crawled on top of her and aimed at her still-dripping entrance, carefully rubbing his covered cock on her folds and feeling the warm escape from her very core. Ever essence, every doubt coming from the past was no more. It was surprising even for him that he no longer cares about whom he thinks he’s about to have sex with; Olivia was no more and Hyejoo was the one with him. It felt more certain more than anything else. That small sliver of thought, even if it was held on the back of his head, intoxicated him in addicting invite knowing it felt very ceremonious for what he had achieved.

The limited lighting definitely added an ounce of sexiness to what’s about to happen. He finally got into position on his knees and Hyejoo was more than welcome to open her legs for him. Slowly, he went in; the silence searing their naked bodies as contact was finally made.

“Fuck,” Sang-hoon breathed as he pushed the mushroom tip in, the sensation of Hyejoo’s wet and warm cavern being the cause for his cursing. A small shake seemed to emanate all over Hyejoo’s parted body while eliciting a stifled moan. Hearing that, he paused and shifted his position to get better support.

Through the silence and the dark, he saw her bring her hands up to cover her mouth just as he resumed putting his girth within her opening. Her stifled noise continued as he did that, emanating what sounded like midway between a moan and a yelp. However, he had no intention to stop. He continued parting her very walls while Hyejoo anchored her hands on his shoulders for dear life. Slowly, he moved his hips back while making sure to keep the tip in, and gently moved inwards as he collapsed into a mindless delirium. He did not even notice his face so close to hers, and there was even a part of surprise when Hyejoo supplied him with a torrid kiss.

That felt like the invitation once again, and after that only the thought of making love to Hyejoo was on his mind. Painful groans from Hyejoo’s size turned into pleasure a couple of slow thrusts into the sex, and her pussy spoke for herself after being wetter and wetter by the minute. Hyejoo’s hands snaked towards her back and she anchored her legs on his thighs, as if to say that he could go deeper. He did exactly that, thrusting harder and harder moaning with the woman under him as well.

Hyejoo threw her head back as Sang-hoon penetrated her even further. The region was exposed, and so he moved to kiss her presented neck. It was rabid, animalistic, but it sure was pleasurable. The once rain-fall induced noise was immediately replaced with harmonious moans coming from them both, purely driven by the sheer pleasure of intimate sex coupled with the slapping of skin versus skin.

“Sang-hoon …” she huffed, tapping his shoulders for attention. “I… I want to ride… I want to ride you.”

With a huffing breath, he nodded and pulled out and repositioned himself and he saw a trickle of Hyejoo’s fluids trailing from the tip of his cock. He was sweating profusely, but there was little time to even notice what was going on around him. And so, he went on off ahead to lie down the bed as Hyejoo began to crawl up to him.

Hyejoo placed her thighs on his as she effectively straddled him, her immaculate figure basking in the limited light of the quiet room. Her lengthy mass of hair drape perfectly on her shoulders as she moved onto position. She was wet; Sang-hoon had clear evidence on that as soon as she proceeded to lower her crotch onto his, emanating a long moan that echoed across. Hyejoo anchored herself on his tight stomach and began to slowly slide her wet cavern on his thick girth all the way in. Her tightness was intoxicating, and he could not help but whimper at the tight sensation that was almost borderline heavenly. His hands slid from her slim and tight stomach up towards her exposed breasts with Hyejoo giving the first couple of bounces for them to enjoy.

“Oh my god,” she moaned harder and perhaps even louder than before. The new position definitely gave her a new sense of pleasure that she was not feeling from the previous one, but even he was holding himself back. The bed slowly rocked as her hips ground against his, creaking amidst the combined songs of pleasure coming from the couple.

Perhaps the new position was too much even for her to take. Son Hyejoo was simply lost in a world completely her own; dissolving into a fantasy of her own making as she rode him for all she could. She rolled her hips against his, greedy to orgasm for the second time as she placed her hands over his shoulders.

Surely he was not yet prepared for something like that, intending to draw out the satisfying act for as long as he could.

He sat back up, much to Hyejoo’s surprise and moved to plant supple kisses on her ample breasts. She seemed to have gotten the message and re-positioned herself towards the end of the bed, where Sang-hoon sat still buried deep within her love hole. The delay was quickly killed as she resumed bouncing on her boyfriend again, this time a lot more intimate with the kisses he gave and the moans that came out. It was addicting.

He then snaked his hands down her curves and made their way towards her ass. Grabbing a handful of each cheek, and in turn using it as leverage to thrust deeper into her, he pummelled harder inside her as Hyejoo’s moans collapsed her mouth next to his ear. Whispers of curses escaped with the in delectable pleasure. The shortness of her breath was one sign, perhaps for good as he could feel his climax that was about to come as well.

Sang-hoon felt Hyejoo’s hands wrap around his neck, pulling him closer towards her neck as she moaned yet again; her hips rocking in perfect sync against his upward thrusts. Sweat and saliva mixed onto their bouncing bodies as they both held on for dear life. The orgasm was imminent, and it would only be a matter of time. He wanted to savour the moment for himself and pulled his head back, in turn taking a look at the beauty of a pre-orgasm Hyejoo, eyes shut from the pleasure and mouth open of moaning with her hair dancing in a hypnotic wave. The sight only turned him on further as he neared, once again attaching his lips on the exposed neck of his girlfriend.

Son Hyejoo let out a long, audible and clearly drawn out moan right after her legs shook violently and her nails dug deeper onto his skin. Sang-hoon gladly met her at the peak and equally closed his eyes as well and joined her in the heavenly sin. Her walls clasped and pulsated, followed by the wet spurt of juices that dripped against his cock and fell onto his balls.

His engine was firing on all cylinders as he approached as well, with Hyejoo’s long trail of moans stuttered with the action. Sang-hoon shook as his face feel towards her collarbone, seemingly flat-lining in the middle of sex as his orgasm finally approached. His hands groped her ass tighter as it finally came; his cock shooting spurts of cum deep within the condom after a violent twitch with Hyejoo perversely rolling her hips off to match the incoming pleasure. The room was once again filled with perhaps the loudest combination of moans from the couple as the mutual orgasm finally subsided; his cock emptying every bit of sperm it could onto the rubber until he gave out of exhaustion before they both fell onto the surface of the mattress.

The exhaustion of sex eventually caught up to them as they huffed on, hoping to catch breath while keeping themselves on each other’s presence. They were all over the place, sweaty and yet filled with the bright sex-afterglow. All that the couple could think of after that was to rest and reward them for the great job, but of course some formality had to be taken off before that.

“I’ll clean up,” he said shyly as Hyejoo nodded and moved to remove his cock from inside her. Trails of her juices leaked as the plug was pulled, dripping more of her excess cum onto the sheets of her boyfriend. Sang-hoon immediately pulled the condom off and disposed of it accordingly; walking a couple of metres sure proved to be difficult given his current exhaustion.

“That was amazing,” Hyejoo said as he came back and joined her over the sheets. “I guess I really missed you a lot…”

Everything seemed to have sunken in him the moment that he rested his naked body next to her. It was hard to believe that just a week ago, he had finally acknowledged his peace with Olivia’s soul, and now he just done and fucked Hyejoo without any second thoughts. It felt like a ceremonious beginning, more than anything else.

It might have been better that things turned out that way instead.

He fell silent as he brought the blankets over them both, not even bothering to give a reply to Hyejoo fearing he might say things he ought not to say. After all, his mind was still clouded with the post-sex glow that he merely clung onto her and let his exhaustion take him to sleep. Fortunately for him, Hyejoo felt the same; albeit she was more thankful that she finally got to feel the presence of her boyfriend, and his love was all he needed for the world.

---THE FOLLOWING MORNING---

Hyejoo woke up in a jiffy. The bright glow from the outside sky as well as the lights that were carelessly left on from the intense session the previous night greeted her. It was crazy enough to think that he had sex with Sang-hoon, but even more so crazy to think that everything came from a supposed power interruption thanks to the storm. The sky was sill faint outside as it was still cloudy, but it was more than enough to tell that it was already day time.

She scanned the small room and embraced the environment before him. It was the first time that she’d been inside a man’s room, let alone his boyfriend’s, but she cannot feel but be amazed with how tidy things were. Of course, there were a couple of their clothes lying scattered all over the floor from last night, but aside from that, things were really organized.

Hyejoo moved her head around and sat up, hearing the soft snores from his body as he dug his face deep onto the pillow. The rest of the blanket was all over her body which in turn left Sang-hoon barely with any cover. Perhaps it was not the light that woke her up but rather the cold; she was still naked after all. With that, she decided to bring the rest of the sheets to his side and cover him for comfort, while she elected to look for a couple of her clothes to cover herself and re-join him on the sheets once again. The bright light from the ceiling was annoying her as well, and it was a primary concern to turn that thing off before it could wake him up like it did to her.

Her nude figure slid off of the bed and moved to fish the first articles of clothing she could find. Luckily, it was her panties that lay scattered next to the plaid shirt she wore on the way to the apartment. The decision was easy, and so she moved to place her underwear between her legs while her plaid shirt covered her bare tits for the time being. It was not much, but it would sure contribute to keeping her back warm while she stayed in the rather cold bedroom.

The next agenda was to close the overhead light, which Sang-hoon perhaps mistakenly left open even before the outage began. It was quickly taken care of with a quick flick, albeit distracted by the half-open drawer on her way back to the bed. She moved to slide the bed-side drawer back shut, yet the presence of an old notebook inside prevented her from doing exactly that; wondering why a child’s notebook seemed to call her to it.

Son Hyejoo threw a quick, cautious look from his snoring figure and then moved to fish out the red notebook. Her fingers trembled as she scanned the pages, nervous on what she could find out while her heart beat faster against her rib cage. Despite having intimate with him previously, it felt extremely invasive of her to check onto his diary. She knew that it was wrong but she can’t seem to stop herself from checking page per page. Someone, or something, was definitely telling her to read it. She was not even sure if that was his.

Then she found it; the name of the red diary’s owner.

Her head immediately threw into visible confusion and wonder as to why her boyfriend would even own an old diary belonging to one girl named Olivia Hye.

---WEEKS AFTER THAT EVENING---

“Choi Sang-hoon… Choi Sang-hoon…!” Hyojong’s voice came calling as soon as he saw his friend walking down, fresh from the class Hyojong himself did not attend. The young man eventually caught up with his friend quickly moved to tap his arm. “Hey, wait up!”

“Where the hell did you come from? This is your third absence in a row, man. One more absent and you’re surely earning a trip to the guidance office, and you know how strict Ms Vivi is on those kinds of stuff, right?”

“I had other… priorities that I had to attend to, so there’s that. I’ll catch up, don’t worry… How’s the class anyway? Is there anything extravagant that I need to take note of?”

“Well, to be honest, I might have preferred if I joined you on not going,” Sang-hoon replied grimly. “It would have been more fun than staying in the class with enthusiasm seeping out of me like an uncontrollable leak. I feel like I lost the urge to learn, with every lesson seemingly flying by me in the speed of light.”

“Damn, I guess not going was the right call. To tell you the truth, I got busy doing something for another friend. That explains the absence, but I guess it’s not that much of a deal considering it’s easy to catch up with. I’m more worried with Ms Vivi so I’m definitely attending the next class to break the streak and then do another. I just can’t bring myself to pay attention lately.”

“Believe me when I say that it’s really not that much you’re missing out of, especially if—“

As he and Hyojong continued their little stroll down the hallway, he was quickly cut mid-speech as his girlfriend, or supposed girlfriend Son Hyejoo and her bestfriend, Park Gowon walked past them in an obvious display of rush. It seemed to him that they were eager to overtake him and Hyojong’s slow pace. However, Hyojong was quick to find it odd that neither of them even bat an eye towards them both despite having known each other for decent time, nor even Hyejoo greeting Sang-hoon despite supposedly dating.

“And… and there’s that too,” he finished, watching both figures of the best friends disappear on a corner and onto the stairs heading up. “Every damn time that that happens, I remember why I lost the enthusiasm to even sit in class. I’m more interested on heading to the theatre club nowadays but even that has a problem on its own.”

“Shit man… so that means she’s still not talking to you, huh? Damn… are you really sure you have no idea why she just blatantly stopped talking to you?”

“I wish I know what the fuck to answer to that because even now, I still have no clue. Tell me; how am I supposed to figure shit out when it was Hyejoo who just cut the communications out of nowhere, without even giving me a hint on what I did wrong to her? I’m not a psychic, so how does she expect me to fix this?”

“Well, if you have no idea, think about what this entire thing looks like to a dumb-dumb like me, Sang-hoon. I remember you two being so developed that you blossomed into romance so quickly, taking much of the campus by storm. So much so that you seemingly took so much of that fame into your theatre performances, right? People tend to watch it a lot because of the guy that is ‘Hyejoo’s boyfriend’ or something. That went on for quite a while, and you were the talk of the town.”

“Yeah, that’s one of the things I’m enjoying even if Hyejoo’s giving me the cold shoulder and let me tell you: it’s slowly losing its steam for me. I can’t seem to fully enjoy it nowadays.”

“Wow, I can’t even imagine how theatre work would make you feel that way. It’s your passion, right? You even told me before that you’d choose your theatre career more than the path our studies if you had the choice.”

“I still think I would purse that it’s just that with this mess I just can’t stay relaxed with anything I do. My rehearsals used to be so clean and exciting, but ever since this entire fiasco with me not talking to Hyejoo spread like wildfire throughout the campus, everything just became a bit out of control. That reminds me: you remember Im Yeojin, right?”

“Was she the girl that confessed to you in front of Hyejoo? Why? What has she done now?”

“I guess when she got wind of the news of Hyejoo giving me the cold shoulder; she became more persistent on showing up to my rehearsals. When she introduced herself to me, I began to fully recognize her on the audience whenever I’m rehearsing and performing. It dialled down for a while but recently, I began seeing her at the audience again. Mind you, Hyojong, I’m not one to brag about things I receive from fans of the theatre club because I don’t want to be the one patting myself on the back, but I never received that much ever since I got a bit distant with Hyejoo, you know. Things seemed to double, and I have a feeling Yeojin has much contribution to most of that.”

“Damn, I admire her perseverance… you don’t get to see that done by guys these days, even more so a girl… wow. I guess that goes to say that you should deal with this entire Hyejoo deal before it goes more out of control that it already is, right? What are you two anyway? Are you two still together or was there any break-up?”

“Maybe we’re still dating. If there’s that thing called ‘talking stage’ then we’re on the complete opposite of that at this point. It’s stupid. We’re still together, let me get that clear, because here was no break-up, no rejection, no message whatsoever; we’re still together as far as I know. There were just no conversations existing between us for some reason.”

“You can’t remember anything you’ve done to make her act this way or perhaps something you might have said?”

“Believe me, I tried recalling everything I did to her for the past weeks ever since I started feeling the signs and I cannot remember a single wrong thing I did to receive that kind of treatment. I had hints for sure, but the things I’m thinking about don’t make sense at all for this context. I don’t think it would warrant her being mad at me for days. I have a feeling it’s something larger and more serious and I can’t figure out what that was. Having no idea about it is frustrating.”

“Well, I have to agree; it’s got to be something major then. I don’t think she’d just act this way without any reason. In the off chance that she did, well … I don’t know… women tend to do that, I guess… no, that’s not fair to put it up that way. Even an irrational person would have something… some weird reason to get angry, so there must be something. I don’t think that Hyejoo’s that kind of a person so… whatever goes, man…”

“On that scale…? I don’t know… there’s… there’s something…”

Wait…

Could it be…?

There’s no way that Hyejoo got this upset just because we had sex, right?

I have a feeling that she’s not feeling awkward about that; otherwise there might have been some sort of build-up to that problem… if it was bothering her; I think she would have told me in some form before we even reach this point or at least show some signs and hints about it.

See, this is the struggle. I have a slight hint that it might be that and I cannot even tell it to Hyojong that it happened, because why would I tell him that?

I’m not comfortable disclosing that I had sex with my girlfriend, not even to my closest friends.

At the same time, it’s so pent up inside of me that I don’t know what else to do with the conflicting emotions. I know deep down there’s a good chance that it might be the case… that Hyejoo’s upset because we had sex but then again…

What the fuck…?

If that was the reason was this the necessary thing to do? If she really was awkward… if she’s not feeling it after we did it… shit… it’s not like we didn’t mutually agree to it.

I feel like if she’s going to feel awkward or even weird about it, the way she’s acting now would not be the way she’d act.

I don’t get it. It makes sense then at the same time it does not. It’s the only thing I could think of and yet it does not add up with how I’m seeing her act right now.

“There’s something I have in my mind but at the same time it does not make sense… so I’d rather not talk about it because I feel it’s so stupid.”

“Well, if that’s the case then I don’t know man… I guess the only better solution is to ball up and face your girlfriend for what it is. It’s not the easiest thing to do but if you want to fix this, you got to do what you got to do, brother.”

“Even if she’s not talking to me…? I mean, of course I already thought of doing that but I just… she was the one who stopped talking to me so maybe she’s supposed to be the one to go back and talk to me… right?”

“Hey, listen to me man… I know that shit might be really frustrating for you because you have no idea what the hell is going on… I get that. No one can blame you for that, okay? However, taking this out on Hyejoo instead of confronting her directly on what’s going on between you two would only make things worse especially in the long run. You told me before that you wanted to pursue her, right? You now have her, so what’s stopping you from keeping her from leaving you?”

Sang-hoon slowed and sighed with a heavy breath.

“Sang-hoon … I understand how you’re feeling but you got to let your pride go man… This thing could only get worse than it already is. Go to her. Find the perfect timing and ask her why she’s doing this, otherwise we’ll never know the reason why she’s like that. For all we know, Hyejoo might have a deeper reason that what we actually think and I certainly hope that that was not the case because… well, women can be scary sometimes. Trust me, I’ve been there.”

As Hyojong matched his friend’s slow-paced walking, the smaller young man gave Sang-hoon’s back a good pat.

“Shit happens, man, but sometimes shit happens for a reason.”

“I don’t know…. I guess I got a bit discouraged after what happened… I got a bit pissed that things have to turn like that after everything that we’ve been through…”

“I get that, but the way I see things… this would spiral more out of control if you won’t do anything now, would you? Think about it… this is the time you prove that you really like Hyejoo for who she is, and not because she just reminded you of someone you used to know from before. You already told me that you let everything from your past go so you can focus onto her today; that you dropped everything that could remind you of what was so that you can focus on what could be… do what you have to do to fix this if you really want her to stay on your life.”

Sang-hoon merely nodded, having no real interpretation of what his friend had said before his mind was lost into the stars. The hallway was just a small blunder of people at that point, as he was more occupied on his future conversation with Hyejoo. Certainly, the angle of the sex was still there in his head and was the most logical thing he could think of why Hyejoo was not talking to him, so at least that was a sound place to start. However, there was that thought on the back of his head that was lingering like an evil thought, echoing Mr Hye’s words to him when he came back to Australia to let everything go for good:

“Son, there are things in the world that are hard to understand; and some may be better kept hidden. Whatever secrets you discover here or when you come back to your country, please know that Olivia kept things from you for a reason and hope that someday you’ll understand why that was the case.”

It was less sensible than the sex part, yet what if there was some underlying connection between Olivia Hye and Son Hyejoo that he was not inherently aware of? Mr Hye elected to not elaborate on that statement and left it for him to interpret, and yet it made it seem that Olivia was way more alive than the past years of him mourning her absence. It seemed like a stretch to connect everything like that but with how the entire shit show was going inside his head, he’ll have to take whatever he could get.

The possibility of Hyejoo being Olivia Hye without the memories has never been clearly possible to him until then. Perhaps the reason why she was upset was because Sang-hoon discovered something he was never meant to discover in the first place.

Everything was just so confusing and the more he tried to understood it, the more that it became vague to him.

---A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER, RIGHT AFTER THE FINAL CLASS FOR THAT DAY---

I know at some point I got to go talk to Hyejoo and clarify things between us. Even if we’re heading to a bad direction, then at least no one can tell me that I didn’t even try to save what’s with us. I kept Hyojong’s advice inside my head even hours after we had that conversation, stretching towards the subjects that even he and I shared with Hyejoo and Gowon. I guess I got a bit used to ‘ignoring’ her for the past weeks that everything felt normal that I’m not paying attention to her at all, though I would say that the thought of talking to her plagued me more than I thought it would. I was so off for the rest of the day thinking about her.

Deep down, I can’t deny that I don’t want to lose Hyejoo. I don’t want to lose her now that everything seemed to be sorted for the better. I got my mind cleared off of Olivia, accepted that she was gone for good and that Hyejoo was a different person for me. I know that I want to do everything in my power to keep her in my life; and I say that despite losing ground when everything in this seemingly perfect relationship went to shit.

It’s my fault… I can feel it. I know some way, somewhere I screwed up… I just don’t exactly know what that was…

And now, I want to find out; the sooner, the better.

Also, having this heavy feeling is already taking its toll on my classroom concentration knowing Hyejoo is just there in arms reach. She felt so close yet so far, and my head could only take too much desperation and frustration that I could not just let this go any day further. I ultimately have decided to confront Hyejoo tonight and settle this once and for all.

There was no real point letting it linger around and do more damage to us both, too.

And so, as the university concluded its classes (at least for me and Hyejoo anyway), I immediately bid Hyojong farewell with a hint of a hurry. I know he was about to question my sudden decision and all it took for him to get what I was meaning to do was a single point towards Gowon and Hyejoo’s direction. Thankfully, Hyojong was one who would immediately understand things and decided to leave me be as I headed on to follow them both, but not assuring me with a good salute.

I was never a fan of doing this because I honestly felt like an idiot for stalking someone who’s supposed to be my girlfriend, as well as her friend that I am pretty close with to some degree. Out of nowhere, I became a goddamn stalker with how careful and precise each move and step was done. I made sure to match their pace and never let them out of my sight even if I was pretty much obvious with the rest of the people; no thanks to my rather tall stature. That alone inevitably made the entire thing harder to accomplish considering I wanted to stay hidden for the rest of the walk as much as possible.

Now that I am in this situation, I only realized the drawbacks of not having anything planned for it. All I had in mind was to follow Hyejoo and Gowon, stay hidden throughout that, and hopefully approach her on a good place once they went their separate ways. There was no way that I’d just butt in there and ask Gowon to leave just so I can talk to Hyejoo; I know that I might already have a bad impression towards her and I don’t think I want to add anything else to that.

At this point, I’m still lucky that neither Hyejoo nor Gowon had taken a glance at the back. I was able to stalk them as stealthily as one dumb boyfriend could do.

Once we made a good distance from the university, I finally found the opportunity to talk to Hyejoo. Gowon finally bid her goodbye and went towards a separate bus terminal, and just like that Hyejoo was finally alone. I continue my pursuit of her and upped my pace the moment we reached the vicinity of a small park heading towards her neighbourhood, and eventually I gathered the courage to race after her.

My steps grew louder and louder as I approached Hyejoo in the open park. The skies are starting to fade as well, making its way onto the ethereal yet cloudy evening. At some point, Hyejoo was able to pick up the sound of footsteps heading towards her, turned her head and eventually saw that it was me. Her pace immediately picked up with that.

“Hyejoo…!” I called to her to no avail. She maintained her pace and briskly walked away from me. “Hyejoo, please; let’s not do this! At least go and talk to me!”

Still, there was no effect. Hyejoo kept walking forwards ignoring all of my pleas for her to stop and listen. I knew I had to do more than just that to make her listen to me, and so I went off to walk past her and stand in front; effectively blocking her from walking further past the park. There was no one else in the park with us, thankfully. In case this conversation would turn sour there won’t be much of a commotion to be worried of.

“Hyejoo… please… I don’t know how else to approach this and make you talk to me… there’s something wrong… there’s something that I did wrong… at least let’s just talk about it… Please allow me to apologize and fix this and just not talk to me…”

I paused, huffing in place as I witnessed Hyejoo raise her head and supply me with a look of anguish; her sharp eyes staring onto mine as if she was burning my soul with deadly intent.

“What are you talking about? There’s nothing wrong with us. Please get off of my path because I want to head home early tonight,” she snapped.

“Are you kidding me? We’re supposed to be in a relationship and now we’re not even talking; YOU’RE not even talking to me! You’re even pushing me away! Enlighten me please… if there’s something I did then please tell me what I can do to fix it, not like this that you’re doing the silent treatment with me!”

“If you know that you did something wrong, shouldn’t you be the first person to know what that would be, huh Sang-hoon?”

I was about to reply when Hyejoo began to walk past me, making sure to graze her shoulder against mine. I found that thing to be so rude that I felt myself snap, logic and courtesy be damned.

How the fuck is that even supposed to make any sense?

All the pent up frustration that I’ve been experiencing for the past couple of days seemed to have poured itself out of my container as I finally lost it. I got mad. I got so pissed that not even Hyejoo bothered to make any of this any sense that I decided to unleash everything and ask her directly, because I’m done trying to figure out what this bullshit was about.

“Hyejoo..!” I called to her walking figure, and I never got any sort of response.

I ran towards her with my steps sending dust to the air with every step I made on the dry surface, eventually able to reach the retreating figure of Hyejoo. I yanked her by the wrist just enough to get her attention whilst applying as least pressure as I could to not totally hurt her, yet even then I felt I still applied too much. Apparently, it was effective as Hyejoo turned the moment I went in contact with her, only for her to swat my hand off of her arm.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Sang-hoon?!”

“Is it really me who has a problem, Hyejoo? Am I the one who has something wrong with me? I came here to talk to you! I came here to fix whatever the hell is going on between us and yet you don’t even tell me what the heck is wrong! You just stopped talking to me without any sort of context; and now I learn that you dread seeing me like this because you wanted to run off? What the hell is going on? I had no idea that there was already something that is a big deal to you!”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You want me to admit it? You want to hear it from my own mouth? Fine; I don’t know why you’re acting like this! I had no damn idea because we’re doing so fine before you decided to just stop talking to me! You ghosted me and I’m supposed to be your boyfriend!”

“You have no idea why…? You’ve been dating me for a while and yet you still cannot get anything through that thick skull of yours why I’m acting like this? How vile could you be?”

“’Vile’…? What the heck? I told you; I don’t know why you’re acting like this! Was it because of what we did that evening? Were you acting sulky like this just because we had sex, huh Hyejoo? If that’s the case, I don’t know why on earth you would even act like this right away instead of talking to me about it first! It’s not like I can un-fuck you when you do this now, can I? Tell me; are you acting like this because we had sex?”

Hyejoo’s expression turned into disgust and anger.

Now what?

“What… are you seriously telling me that… that’s the reason you thought out… that you’re thinking I’m upset because… what the fuck…?”

“This is why I wanted to know, Hyejoo! This is why I kept on asking you why you are like this, because I can’t go on… I can’t let us stay like this! Tell me what’s wrong so that I can fix it…”

I tried to keep my emotions in check and yet I could not control my own voice. My legs began to feel weak as I shook in place; I guess that with all the frustrations I’ve been keeping for the past weeks that the thought of losing Hyejoo never occurred and sank into me until now, even more so when I just blatantly got angry in front of her. All that jarring realizations seemed to hit me all at once that my mind flew off from where we were standing, frozen in front of Son Hyejoo as she, too, had her eyes water. Eventually, a single drop of tear ran from the corner of her eye down to her cheek as the rest of her face flustered red with emotion.

“Do you really know why I’m mad at you?”

“Hyejoo… I’m sorry...” I tried to hold her but she quickly swat my arm away.

“DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHY I’M MAD AT YOU?”

I was lost for words. I never thought that I would even see Hyejoo roar out of anger like that. All I could do was watch as she drew her backpack and fished something from it, all while suppressing herself from breaking down in front of me. It felt like the longest couple of seconds of my life. I don’t even know what I was expecting to see from it…

Then, my heart stopped the moment I recognized what she pulled from the bag.

I was not even able to process it completely because she fished it and slammed it against my chest, altogether leaving the crumpled red notebook to fall down towards the dusty surface of the park and crash with a soft mess.

Shit…

I could only watch in horror as the Olivia’s red diary lay mangled over the dirty, soiled floor; a piece I used to keep in pristine condition lay messed and deserted before my very feet.

---

The world might have as well ended for Sang-hoon. His limbs went numb as he gave up and knelt, his skin paled white, and his lips shook in horror with what was before him. Olivia’s Diary… of all the things he could think of that Hyejoo would get mad at him for, the absolute worst possible thing was the root of it all. Everything seemed to have crumbled upon him that moment. The vow of not checking on anything in relation to Olivia after he got his closure now bit him on the back.

He cannot even remember when he last saw the diary. Sang-hoon could not immediately think of a way for Hyejoo to see it by any means, and now it’s in front of him. Who knows how long she had it with her?

The Diary, the single surviving and tangible link he had with Olivia Hye found its way to the single surviving reminder of Olivia’s physical body, Son Hyejoo. Now everything made sense to him; the longer that he spent his knees planted on the dusty ground, gravelling at the now lopsided diary before him, the more that he wanted the ground to eat him up and end his torment once and for all.

He did not even know how to begin to speak about it. Hyejoo standing there in front of him, not even moving a single muscle added to the dread and solemnity of the moment. Her stillness was intimidating just as her silence was deadly. The gut-wrenching realization knowing she must have been waiting for so long to confront him of it; every page of the diary driving another strand closer in revealing his web of lies.

He rummaged through the mangled old notebook, trying as much as possible to get everything fixed and back to the way they were. From how he saw it, it would not appear that Hyejoo was blatantly rough on the notebook while she was in possession of it. It was just that the impact of her slamming it against his chest with all the built-up emotion, anger, and frustration that came with it caused it to crumple in a mess before falling towards the floor.

“H-Hyejoo…” he croaked with his shivering hands desperately clinging onto the messed notebook. “I-I…”

“How long… h-how long have… how long have you intended to k-keep this from me?”

Carrying the notebook, Sang-hoon finally gathered the strength to stand up. Despite that, the sheer weight and emotion of the entire ordeal kept his knees weak from Hyejoo’s immense presence, a deadly aura radiating from her figure.

“I never intended to keep it from you… I always wanted to clear my mind of things first before… before we became a thing…”

“Really…? You never intended to keep it from me? DON’T FUCKING LIE TO ME. Tell me; if I didn’t see this notebook on your apartment, would you even… w-would you even tell me about your childhood sweetheart, Olivia Hye?”

“Hyejoo please… don’t think of it that way—“

“And how else do you want me to take this in, huh?” She snapped back, trying to keep her tone controlled yet authoritative. Every syllable that escaped her lips was filled with so much anger and disappointment. “Tell me; how on earth are you expecting me to take this in? What do you think I’m feeling now, reading everything written in that diary over there?”

Sang-hoon fell silent as he was lost for words. Hyejoo caught him off guard. His worst nightmares have come to truth and Hyejoo’s fury is the pure manifestation for it. There was no denying it now; he really fucked up. Even if he fixed everything he needed to make him accept Hyejoo for who she is: a separated individual from Olivia Hye, in her eyes he still used her as a substitute for his dead childhood sweetheart. Whatever reason he had, no matter how fair or not they were; it would most definitely look bad in front of Son Hyejoo.

Despite that, he still tried to console for his actions and attempted to appeal to her. He moved to speak but was swiftly cut by Hyejoo’s regretful tone.

“You and I know the truth Choi Sang-hoon; you never intended for me to find out about this notebook. You wanted to keep it to yourself forever. You never planned for me to know this at some point because you know how I would feel. You never intended to tell me because you wanted to bury the truth; you wanted to bury the real reason why you pursued to date me in the first place.”

“Hyejoo, please—“

“TELL ME THE TRUTH; tell me everything!”

Hyejoo’s voice tore through the silent park, joined only by the soft rustle of the leaves above. The skies have completely darkened, and the illumination of the post lights on Hyejoo’s face only made her appear more menacing than she already was. Her visage was terrifying than ever; she did not appear to be the Hyejoo that he knew, as she was more close to being an irate, vengeful spirit of Olivia Hye punishing him for defiling her honour.

“I-I’m… I’m sorry Hyejoo… I… yes… I… I did got interested o-on you because… because you resembled Olivia so much… you reminded me of her in almost everything t-that you did; t-to think that there’s one… t-there’s one person in this side of the world t-that… that looks exactly like h-her… a p-part of me was confused… a-a part of me wanted to believe that.. .that maybe she lives in you… that there’s a chance that… that you are her… there’s a reason that I c-can see her in you… I’m sorry…”

Sang-hoon, too, fought back his tears and tried his best to console himself, and yet he still shed in the end. Despite his best efforts to conceal his emotions from her, he cannot deny that deep down it slowly became adamant that Hyejoo was different. It was an unsung truth that he thought he had already accepted, yet now the truth is biting him more than ever.

“O-Olivia…” Hyejoo began, her voice creaking yet kept a cold tone. “Olivia Hye was a childhood friend of yours… y-you two agreed to marry each other once y-you become of age… You two were… you two were soul mates; destined to be together until… until she died when she was just sixteen… I read about her, digested everything about her… learned more as to why I reminded you so much of her… Sang-hoon, please tell me…

“She was your basis on everything when you and I were trying to get to know each other, am I correct? You dated me thinking that I was the missing link; that I was who this Olivia girl was supposed to be if she was still alive is that right? You wanted to believe that she and I was the same person… correct?”

“H-Hyejoo… I’m sorry… I know you must have felt it too because you told me the reason why we clicked together so quickly… Everything that happened… e-every move that I made… everything was… everything that I thought you liked were all based on her… on Olivia… that everything on you both seemed to add up; you both have the same preferences, the same mannerisms… the same face and body… even if… even if I wanted to believe that you and her are different, everything seemed to have been pushing her to you even more. Believe me, Hyejoo; I tried in all that I could to view you differently… I tried to force myself to think that you and Olivia were two different people, but I just… I just can’t…

“Maybe a part of her lives in you, Hyejoo… I’m sorry, but at some times… sometimes I think that Olivia lives in you so much that… that I thought she and you are one and the same.”

Hyejoo stood so still, her face void of any emotions. And so, the young man beckoned to continue.

“I… I’ll tell you the truth… all of it, Hyejoo… yes; I was interested on you because of Olivia Hye… You were the physical reminder that she was still alive after all… everything seemed to add up; throughout the course of our relationship, you had the same of everything I knew that was with her… I know I’m desperate and I’m going in circles… but I wanted to believe that maybe Olivia survived the disease at some point, forgot her memories and… and came back to me as you. I-I… I know that it’s a stretch. Even I did not want believe it, so I went back to the place where we left her... I went back to Australia because I wanted to clear myself off of everything, and maybe sometime there find the answers I’m seeking… that… that explains why i… why I randomly went missing… that was… that was when I wanted to find the things I’m looking for…”

Hyejoo’s bloodshot eyes glared at him once she realized a flaw in the timeline.

“But… b-but that was just… so you mean… y-you mean t-to tell me that… t-that it took t-that long into our r-relationship b-before you made a move to clear your head off? I-it took you that l-long to realize that you’re forcing Olivia Hye into… i-into me all this time?”

Silence

“Sang-hoon … y-you mean to tell me that… that almost all of this relationship was you… was you dating Olivia Hye and… and not me?”

He bit his lip in contempt as he knew the answer perfectly. He closed his eyes, and with utmost regret, gave her a small nod. At that point, Hyejoo’s nails were digging dangerously deep against the skin on her palms that they began to hurt her, and probably it was a better distraction from the pain and heft her heart was feeling. She thought that confronting Sang-hoon about it would ease her up after unleashing all her fury towards him, and yet it made everything worse exponentially.

“When you went off and caused a fistfight defending my name from Takagi, was it me in your mind or was it Olivia Hye?”

There was no response from his end. He knew the truth and yet he did not want to speak up. He had already caused a lot of damage.

With his silence, Hyejoo continued on.

“When you kiss me, were you kissing me or was it Olivia?”

No response.

“When you and I had sex, who were you seeing? Was it me or was it Olivia?”

Still, there was no response.

The silence amidst the whisper of the witnessing trees around them was swiftly broke by a series of steps. Ever since Sang-hoon and Hyejoo began talking, neither of them moved as everything was conveyed on a safe distance between them. However, the young woman walked towards him despite her legs feeling weak from his revelation. Hyejoo barely kept herself standing up.

“You dated me to fulfil the promise of your dead girlfriend,” she mouth as she moved closer to him. Hyejoo’s deadpan gaze only looked a lot more dangerous now that she was closer to him, accentuated by her flaring red face as well as her bloodshot eyes. “You dated me in the hopes that she’d live in me, that at some point I would turn into her in your eyes. You wanted me to become Olivia Hye, regardless if we just look like each other or not.

“You dated me to be her substitute. You never loved me for who I am, Choi Sang-hoon … You just loved me because you see someone else in me.”

“Hyejoo, I did love you! I love—“

SLAP

Sang-hoon froze in mid-sentence feeling the sting of Hyejoo’s palm against his left cheek. He went on off to hold it again, only for him to see Hyejoo raising her left hand.

SLAP

Hyejoo swung her palm on his other cheek, hurting the right quite harder than his left. He raised his arms in defence as the young woman began to pound his chest with her arms in frustration, tears streaming down her eyes harder with every strike, ultimately leaving him to drop the notebook back down the floor.

“You’re so fucking unfair! I loved you with all that I am! I gave you everything that I had! You’re so fucking unfair!”

Hyejoo continued to pummel him with her blows until her arms grew weak due to her emotions, leaving her with her hands over her knees as she wept, with Sang-hoon standing opposite her, quite pushed back by a couple of steps.

“Hyejoo…” he began, moving closer to her to assist her up and yet Hyejoo raised her body once more.

SLAP

It was something that came out of nowhere as he really did not expect it, resulting to the final slap being the most painful of the three of them. It was as if Hyejoo was reserving everything that she had with it, and that was despite having most of her ire dialled down previously.

“In my dreams, maybe you loved me back ...

“I am not Olivia Hye. I am not your dead girlfriend.”

And with that, Hyejoo turned and swiftly left Sang-hoon standing there feeling the impact of her palm against his face; but not before stepping over the fallen notebook one last time.

He knew so much that following her further would do him no good, and yet even if he wanted to do so, he simply cannot. He lost all sense of strength in his body as everything went away. Two of the most important people left him that evening; the precious memories of Olivia Hye stored in a notebook he always preserved in utmost pristine condition now lay soiled, stepped on, and crumpled over the dirty floor, and Son Hyejoo just stormed out of the park because of the mistakes he, himself, caused her.

The world might have as well ended for him.

---HOURS AFTER THE ENCOUNTER---

The strength and emotion that sprang from Hyejoo’s slap caused enough ripples throughout the following hours after that confrontation. It took a great amount of time for Sang-hoon to gather himself at the park, pick the messed-up red diary, and bring himself to finally head home.

He felt empty.

He felt so powerless.

Nothing could have ever brought him down to his lowest peak than that, and he knew perfectly that he had no one else to blame but himself. No one did this to him; it’s not Hyejoo’s fault, not Olivia’s… it was his only fault. He did everything up until that point to screw up the only chance Olivia might have given him to feel her once again; she was never meant to return physically no matter how much he wanted to fantasize about it. Olivia knew she was already dead at that point, and Hyejoo was the one who was not supposed to replace her, but rather give a purpose for him to carry on and continue fighting his battles. The fact that they shared the same face was perhaps the reminder that she still exists not on the ways he expected her to be.

But now, even that small chance was lost forever.

He was so occupied on what had transpired between him and Hyejoo that the trip heading back to his apartment was basically nothing to him. He was defeated and his purpose for living was lost. The last thing he wanted to do was to head back home to indulge on the aftermath of that conversation, fearing he might end up doing something he did not want to do. However, even if he did not want that to happen it was always bound to happen. The thoughts and future consequences of that encounter began to eat him from the inside out the moment he entered his apartment alone. The most human thing he could do was to lash his anger out on everything he could see.

His apartment immediately turned into a dismantled ruin the moment that he began to vent his frustrations on his furniture. The sheer destructive power of his physique was tantamount to the wreckage that followed his wrath. One bottle of alcohol was the catalyst; something he knowingly purchased on his way home to help him digest on things and yet all it had done was make his situation and his thinking worse. All the liquor did to him was to give him confidence to break everything in his sight. The phone, despite attempts of Hyojong to connect to him, was discarded in a pile mess as he threw it elsewhere across the room, sending it crashing towards the floor and easily breaking its screen with the impact.

Chairs lopsided, plates shattered, glasses lay broken on the floor, ruptured pillows sent feathers all over the place, and even Olivia’s precious diary was thrown across the walls that sent most of her pages flying off with the rest of the messed floor. If it was not for his trance-like silence, it would have been easy for his neighbours to think that he’s been murdering someone in cold blood, but even then his tears and enraged demeanour could only do much damage to what he could touch, leaving the demolition to be felt by his ornaments more than anything else.

Three bottles later, Sang-hoon found himself on the foot of his bed leaning on its foot, head aching with the aftermath. Scattered and torn sheets lay dishevelled around his exhausted body. He has sobered up a bit, only now bearing witness to the art of destruction that he had done. The faint light highlighted the torn curtains as well as the broken ornaments of the floor, emphasizing how much damage he incurred. He might have cut himself during his rampage, but even then he was already too numb to feel anything. His eyes were bloodshot from all the crying and the tantrum he has felt for the past minutes and yet there was still that urge to go on. There was no amount of destruction that he could amount to the ruin he left on his self; Hyejoo and Olivia were gone. His life was as fucked up that it could have ever been.

He stared into the empty wall before him and his eyes set on a single page that flew off from Olivia’s diary. It was a page that contained her photo as she smiled on their first bike ride together. She was so alive then, she was so happy smiling towards the camera, so perfect before the disease ruined the chances of her getting the life she deserved. If only he could bring those times back when everything was simpler; when everything he wanted to do centered on living a life with Olivia Hye...

However, Olivia was dead.

She has been dead for a long time.

The times that he spent fantasizing that she could still come back was an illusion he made for his own comfort, and everything was just a stupid lie, a deranged form of gas lighting himself from the bitter truth.

No matter how hard he can convince himself, there was no denying that she was dead. Even Olivia’s father said so.

But son, even if Olivia’s gone now that does not mean she cannot come back in some way, right?

Even that was bullshit to him. Mr Hye’s statement when he went back was just a stupid ploy to make him better, to make him believe that there’s a pot of gold waiting for him at the end of the rainbow.

The only way he could think of was to truly join her, and end every torment he’s been giving himself because of her loss.

Hyejoo is not Olivia, and now even the only lasting reminder of her was gone because of his fault.

Was there even a reason to stay in the world?

He brought the empty bottle of alcohol closer to his face and eyed its glassy contents, holding on its neck before smashing it against the floor with a loud crash. Shard of glass flew all over the empty and dark apartment and around him, with the remnant of the bottle’s sharp end seemingly speaking to him, talking to his innermost frustrations and disappointments…

It would be easy for him to end everything once and for all.

All it would take was one quick swing…

One quick swing and he would truly join her for good…

One good swing…

“Oli… I can’t take this anymore…” he whispered, gazing onto the faint outline of Olivia Hye’s face before him.

I want you to continue with your life, Sang-hoon. The ending of my story may have not been a happy one, but that does not mean that you don’t have the chance to make yours happy.

Live, Sang-hoon. Live because I love you more than anything else in this life.

I love you, my Sang-hoon, always and forever.

It felt as if staring straight at Olivia’s crumpled portrait caused her to speak to him.

He knew he was at the lowest. His heart knows how easy it is to go out, to take the easy way out and forget everything that he had fought up until that point

However, Olivia Hye would not want that to happen…

She would not have wanted him to give up. If she was there, Olivia would be the one who would hug him and tell him that things would go right in the end. If things seemed so hard still, then it is not yet the end for his story.

The moment that he realized what he even thought of doing, he became afraid of the very thing that was on his very hand. He panicked on the spot and threw the sharp half of the bottle across the room, sending it crashing towards the wall and far from his reach. His eyes began to tear up as he reached up towards the page containing Olivia Hye’s picture, guilt ravaging him from within and added weight to his already heavy heart, and yet the hope was still there in front of him. With utmost effort, Sang-hoon gathered his remaining strength up and moved to pick up the torn portrait of Olivia and embraced the thin sheet of paper. It was already over for him and yet she was still there for him no matter what, and all he could do at that very moment was cry his eyes and heart out while holding the memories of his dead childhood sweet heart in his arms.

---

There was a bright flash of light and I remember myself running. My feet were fast on the ground as my heart pounded heavily against my chest. There was a great sense of adrenaline of which I could not quite put my finger on. I had to run fast.

Why?

I don’t know.

All in know was I was in a hurry and that if I did not run fast enough, I’ll fail. I held some sort of baggage in my hand and I had a huge feeling that it was the reason why I was running in the first place. There was a sense of rush, but I am confident that I am not being chased by anything, but it was me chasing something instead. I fled my foot against the ground as fast as I could because deep down, I know there’s something that I should be chasing; there’s something that’s at stake if I did not run fast enough. It felt so familiar and now I have a chance of undoing what I felt happened during the past. I had the feeling that nothing should stop me from running otherwise it would be too late.

As I ran further and further down the hallway, details began to slowly engrave to my mind. All ivory- white floor tiles in contrast with the equally bright and clean white walls, empty hallway benches that lined on the edges of the path I ran on, hazy and rectangular lights overhead; I was inside a hospital. The absence of any sort of personnel in this place amidst the seemingly long stretch of a hallway was beyond me as I seemed to know what room I was looking for. Doors came by from the left and the right and I did not even bother look at it until I stopped to a halt, my eyes planted on one particular door on my immediate right. This was it and I made it; there was not even a single point of hesitation for it. I turned the knob and entered with utmost confidence knowing I made it this time around. This was the door that leads me straight to my destination.

“Sang-hoonie…! You made it! You’re just in perfect time!” greeted a voice that was really pleasant, perfectly contrasting the rather dull and clean aesthetic of the room. There she sat on the hospital bed, her face as beautiful and youthful just as I remember from the years of being able to see it so close. She looked so lively and so happy, and I’ve never seen her so healthy and contented than ever. She supplied me with a bright smile, perhaps even more blinding than the bright hospital room she was waiting on me for. However, that flashy smile of hers certainly rivalled the bright white dress she wore. Sure, it was not extravagant as ever; yet the simple white skirt suited her so bright aura much.

“Oli, hello…! I got something for you, and I made sure to not be late this time!” I replied and I saw her immediately jump off of the bed in glee, skipping her way before giving me a tight hug. I was flustered with the touch of our bodies; she was so warm and caring and the hug felt different; something that was long deprived from my senses. It was the feeling of being home.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you,” she replied, her hands withdrawing from the embrace and setting on my forearms, still keeping her touch on mine. “And I waited for you just as said that I would. It’s nice to finally see you, my Sang-hoon.”

“Oli, come on; you were the one who sent me out for these, right?” I replied to her as I gestured towards the paper box I had with me. “I almost got caught up and luckily my legs brought me back in time.”

“Aww… you always made sure that I’m happy… but before anything else, can we talk about something?” I heard her say and then she beckoned me to take a seat with her on the hospital bed, of which I quickly agreed with a nod and followed without question. I set the box beside me and sat beside her, the tidiness and pure-white aesthetic of the room honestly blinding me eyes. I never thought that hospitals could get this degree of cleanliness. It didn’t feel real at all.

“What is this about, Oli? What do you want to talk about? Aren’t you supposed to be in a hurry for something?”

She shook her head and through her familiar sharp eyes then she gave me a very comforting beam.

“I have all the time in the world, Sang-hoon; it can wait. For now, I just want to be with you…

“And also, I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize…? What for exactly…?”

I turned towards her and Oli shrugged her shoulders and pouted on my direction. To my surprise, she slid her hands over the sheets of the soft hospital bed and held mine, of which I swiftly returned by intertwining my fingers with hers. The skin on her hands was so polished and warm, yet somehow I could tell that there was something different. Olivia Hye gave a good and lengthy sigh before speaking to me once again.

“A lot of things… I feel like things would have turned different if I were stronger than I used to be. I made people promise me things that made life unnecessarily difficult for you, especially my family. I intentionally kept things from you because I did not want you to find out, fearing what you’d do once you knew about my little secret. I thought when I did that, I was protecting you from the pain… but I realized that I was the one sparing myself from it.”

What is she talking about…?

“I have… I have been unfair to you in almost every way, Sang-hoon… You, of all people…. You who never left my side no matter what happened; you who always had my back since we were young… You deserve so much better than just being stuck with me, you know?”

“Yah, Oli… why are you telling me this now? It’s not like I’m complaining or anything, right? I love you, and you know that. Ever since we were younger we always were building up to us both getting married to each other, right? Look… whatever this is… whatever is bothering you, don’t let it. I can take it because this is all for you. I love you, Oli. I love you with all of my heart.”

“I know that…. I know what you’ve been feeling and I’m forever grateful for that… but it never takes the truth out that I’ve been really unfair, no matter how much you defend me, that would always be the case. That is the truth and I’m sorry for it. Sang-hoon… I can’t truly move on from this unless I correct my mistake, which is why I want you to give me a chance to correct it. Is that okay with you?”

“O-of course, even though I really do not understand what you’re talking about, Oli… Umm… just do it…”

“If that’s the case, then I better get going.”

Olivia jumped from the bed and stood in front of me. I felt a sudden rush; a panic that caused me to reach for her and hold her arm, preventing her from ever getting away again.

“Wait, wait, you said you had all the time you could spare? I thought you said you wanted to stay in this moment, now you’re leaving me?”

I watched as Olivia smiled and my grip relaxed. She then held my hand and beckoned me down the hospital bed to join her, of which I did without question. The beautiful woman that is Olivia Hye smiled in silence and held my hand with a very reassuring hold. If it weren’t for the bright premises of this hospital room, I would have thought that it was Olivia herself that was blinding me by her light. It was not even her white dress; but I could have sworn that her skin had that small glow to her.

“Sang-hoon… as much as I’d love to, you know that I don’t belong here. I have all the time, yes, and I would love to spend that eternity with you, but if that means that you would forever be trapped in the past, I can’t just let that happen. I promised that I would fix my mistakes, even trading all my time to help you out even in the very least possible way I can. You need to let me go, Choi Sang-hoon. You need to let me go.”

“B-but Oli… I don’t think I can make it without you…”

“You already did, my Sang-hoon. You just need to see it. I promise you that it would be okay. You’ll make it out of this because I know you’re strong.”

“But what if I don’t…?”

“You will… trust yourself. If you can’t, then at least trust me…”

“How about you, Oli…? Would you be okay without me?”

I rested my gaze on her sharp and kind eyes, with Olivia replying to me with a soft nod.

“I promised that I would find you, right? I would be okay because I never truly left you. I’m always with you.”

There was bliss amidst that exchange. I don’t know if there was a weird breeze that blew through the windows of the hospital room but I felt strangely at ease with that. Olivia’s assurance was enough for me; so enough that I slackened my grip from her. I trusted her with that. I felt comfortable that she would be okay, even if I did not entirely understand what she told me. Somehow I was okay with it.

“You said you had something for me… what do you have there?”

“Right… I brought you a box of tteukbokki like you asked,” I replied to her as I handed her the box from the bed. “I almost forgot that I had it. Here you go.”

“Omo… I’ve never tasted these in a long time,” she remarked with a smile after giving the small box a good whiff. “Omo, I can even smell the spices through the box. Thank you! Thank you so much for these!”

“Alright, so shall I walk you out?”

“Hmm… how about you close the windows for me first? We don’t want the next patients to get cold, right?”

Her statement flew about the air like it was magic. I never noticed that there was a window right next to me as it seemingly appeared when Olivia asked me to close it, and that was precisely what I did. I smiled after her and moved towards the window. However, while fiddling through the locks, I felt Olivia open the door and the sense of panic overcame me again. I felt afraid to for her to go; I was scared that I was not with her. In turn, I rushed towards the door watching the final frame of her body just before it closed for good.

“Olivia, wait…! Please wait for me…!”

“Oli…!”

I felt the sweat and panic overcome me as I open my eyes. The bright sun rays from the outside immediately greeted me through the ripped curtains of my apartment. It was just a split-second, but every remnant of sleep seemed to have been shaken off of me. I was sweating profusely; the shirt I wore for last night’s sleep was wet especially on the chest part. I drifted my gaze around the mess of my apartment and things have started to catch up on me.

I was drunk last night and made of a mess of my apartment. Shattered glass and broken china lingered all over the place as an obvious evidence of that. Curtains were torn and I even woke up from sleeping on the floor.

My head hurts, probably because of the hangover...

The entire place was so messed up.

However, even with that I was still stuck on what I just saw.

It was just a dream but I saw her.

I dreamed about Olivia Hye.

---A WEEK LATER---

I know that everything might be a product of my imagination, springing mostly from my excessive thoughts about Olivia but I could have sworn that it all felt so real. Every moment I had with her in the hospital; the same room where she died… I guess I never knew I needed that conversation more than I ever did. Honestly, after the fallout between me and Hyejoo, my mind was in such of an inconsistent mess that I just repeatedly am blaming myself for everything that lead unto this. However, somehow I felt so relieved after that talk; it’s like I’ve finally reached a conclusion I never thought I needed to have especially with Oli. It was a dream, I know. Like I said, there’s a huge chance of it being just me imagining things because of her, but I’m sure that it really cleaned my mind out for a lot of things because of that.

I realized how low I’ve gotten and it was quite evident with the mess that I made out of my apartment. That morning, the very day after I just devastated myself to sleep, I spent most of the time just fixing the mess I made. Having to live alone was hard enough for what it is, and everything that happened here was my fault anyway so I never bothered to contact anyone especially Hyojong or even my own brother. I am in such a mess but at the same time I feel like I’m not going to break anytime soon. I’m stronger now compared to my emotions.

Despite that, I could not say the same with my relationship with Hyejoo.

I debated for days after that event with regards to when I should go back to school, as I don’t know if I could bring myself to face Hyejoo. One day passed, and I know I still could not do it. I settled the first day going around town and thinking to myself of what I should do next. Second day came, and I’m still stuck in that same unmotivated haze that I was into. I don’t know. Deep down, I know that I need to fix this chaos that wrought us apart and I do have plans to do that, all I’m waiting for was the right time for me to gather the courage. I’m quite sure that I don’t have that for now.

After that, the following days have just been a constant push and pull of emotions, debating whether I should go to school and talk to her, especially so since I also have no idea what’s going on with her side after the fallout. I pretty much isolated myself socially, with my only remaining link to school being Hyojong supplying me details of what was going on. I know I might be troubling my friend too much but I could only thank him so much for going the liberty of messaging me with the updates. I sure have missed a lot already. However, I have huge confidence that I can get to that at some point. I have full confidence knowing I can catch up.

Right now I just need to calm down. I need to set myself in the right mind to know what I want the next step of the plan to be. Surprisingly, the one thing that helped me get myself together was the reason why this started in the first place: Olivia Hye’s diary.

I also spent the week attempting to fix the once-precious possession. After all, it was indeed the only link I left with the past and it did look so mangled and distraught after I threw it all over the room because of my anger. Fortunately, I was able to stitch some of the torn pages back, albeit causing a weird and uneven page count because of the inconsistent leaf width, but I cannot do anything else with the torn pages and the overly crumpled covers. I stretched the folded ones but I do agree that they still look awful.

With that, a week after being so busy on finding myself, I tried to open Olivia Hye’s diary on a different goal. During the past, I always told myself that it was hard to even attempt to read a small entry on this note without being sad and nostalgic, as the thought of never even relishing the things I shared with her always bit me to the core. That was always the kind of thinking I had in mind. Now, I tried to read the entries as some sort of a time capsule and focused more throughout her messages to me towards the end; like it was the full and physical remembrance I had with Oli during the past. Throughout that, I realized something important.

Now that I’ve read every single entry slowly and internalized every letter she wrote the moment that she knew she might not make it. I realized now that Oli never had that thought of sadness with her. Her entries were never sad, but hopeful that I could make it soon without her.

“…. I wish I could go to his favourite place in town and treat him after graduation. There’s a huge chance that I might not even get out during that time, especially if my conditions worsen, but at least if I’m gone, someone would be able to do that with him and he’ll be happy for sure. That thought already makes me happy knowing that he’s happy with someone else…”

“…My body is slowly getting weaker and weaker as it gets even harder to write. I might reach the end of this entry soon, but it was never a worry even for me. I think Sang-hoon is even more worried for me that I am worried for myself; and I love that about him. I am more worried that I might not fulfil the promises we made more than anything else…”

“… When I was first diagnosed with this mysterious disease, the thought of never making it out scared me. However, I’ve felt how much of the people I love are trying their best to save me and it made me feel loved and bad at the same time. They should not even be suffering because of me, and the thought of not making out honestly felt better for them. I cannot stand them looking so pained and sad that I am not showing any improvements. I know that they don’t want to tell me that, but I can feel it…”

“…I hope that one day he realizes why I did the things that I did. I hope he understands why I chose to hide certain things from him. I did that because I wanted him to live and not stick his mind with me once I’m gone…”

I always thought, even throughout the years that I’ve read the diary entries one-by-one that Oli’s secret was not telling me of her condition; that in reality the treatment is getting her worse than it’s improving her. That was my interpretation all this time because it felt like the only logical thing.

However, with the dream I had a week ago, somehow that entry rang a bit differently in my head. It’s very baseless to connect a diary entry, something that was done physically and written by a living person, to something that I just randomly dreamt of in the middle of my frustration… yet with everything that was going past me, I can’t seem to not shake the possibility of it.

Oli said that she ‘made things unnecessarily difficult’ for me, and now I read that she hopes I understand why she chose to hide certain things from me, or was that even just pertaining to the same thing? Was she really just pertaining to the fact that her condition is not getting better when she had her medication before…? Surely there was no way that she would hide something from me that I still could not see up until this day, right?

Even now, I still have no idea how I shoulder interpret it. Regardless, I trust Oli. She said I can make it out of this and if she believes in me, then I have to believe her as well.

---4:20 PM---

I had just finished passing an email to my professor minutes ago, explaining why I had to turn in my assignment electronically rather than just going to school and sending it her personally. Even that had an odd tinge of awkwardness that came with it, especially so since I had no idea how to word it out that my absence really made sense. I thought I’d just decide on what to reply to her once she responds. I can pick up from that.

KNOCK, KNOCK

My gaze immediately shot towards the door just as I was unloading my recent groceries on the fridge. I don’t get visitors often; usually it’s just my landlady, Hyojong, and my brother who come in like that. But even they would send a prior notice to me, like a message of sorts, just to make sure that I’m at home that I can attend to them. It goes to say that I was really surprised with that knock, especially since the last time someone knocked on my door like that, Hyejoo was standing on the opposite side of it. Could it be that…?

I washed my hands in a bit of haste while leaving the rest of the unsorted goods on their respective containers for later. I walked towards the door, giving myself some last-minute tidying which mostly consists of fixing my shirt, adjusting the part of my hair, and finally getting a quick yet enough glimpse of myself through the mirror.

I’ll get real here; deep down I know I want this person to be Hyejoo. There was no other person in my head asides from her.

Come on… please let it be Hyejoo…

My heart skipped a beat as I began to unlock the door, quickly moved to swing it open, and the original anticipation of having my face project a good smile was later dissolved into a look of surprise and confusion. It was not Son Hyejoo whom I found knocking in front of my doorstep.

It was Park Gowon.

What…?

Why would she be here?

“H-hi, Sang-hoon,” she greeted, bowing with her wearing usual university uniform. Her formerly blonde hair now seemed to have faded onto her natural black, blending onto a soft and cute brown tone. “S-sorry for suddenly showing up here… I just wanted to know how you’re doing… yeah…”

“G-Gowon… yeah, I’m a bit surprised… but hi there. I certainly was not expecting you so sorry if I looked a bit confused…Umm…?”

“U-umm… d-do you mind if I come in…?”

I paused for a bit because Gowon was visibly nervous as evident on her unusual body language combined with the weird aura she had with her as well. I had no idea what was going on, even more so with Gowon, of all people, showing up in front of my very doorstep. I have a hint of what it is about, but still… she’s the last person I’m expecting to show up from all that.

“Come in, sure… welcome… are you okay?” I asked for assurance because she seemed so shaken for just being here.

“T-thank you… sorry, I’m just nervous…”

I opened the door wider and gestured for her to walk inside, of which she followed with her shoulders so tensed up against her body. Gowon’s steps were so small, cautious even. It looked to me that she showed up on a place she was not supposed to end up on. Then again, that might be the case; she did give off an aura that she was here because of someone else.

Regardless, I gestured for her to seat on the couch I recently repaired. My apartment did have some subtle evidences of my recent outrage, given the obviously evidence of repaired furniture as well as the small paint scratches lingering on the wall. I could only hope that I did not give out a creepy vibe even if I think it was already pretty evident at this point for her.

“A-are you busy doing something?” I heard her ask me as I closed the door behind us both, apparently drifting her gaze towards the pronounced bags of groceries I had on the counter. “I think I might have gone in here on the wrong time… sorry for disturbing you…”

“Oh no, please don’t think of it that way. It’s totally fine. I’m just unloading stuff I brought from the grocery so there’s no big deal,” I replied as casual as I could in attempt to break the awkwardness lingering amidst the air. “Can I offer you something? It does appear a bit messy here but I can get something for you…”

“I… I think I’m fine with coffee… “

My hands were so erratic and barely even holding things when I went on off to get Gowon the coffee she asked for, and I found that weird because I had no real reason to be tensed like this. I guess it was her… it was the sheer presence of Gowon herself that added a little bit of instability to me, knowing I seem to expect something. On the back of my head I know what she came here for, or at least I could assume she did… why else would she even come here? I was so much looking forward to the conversation after that I was just rushing on completing the task at hand. I barely even took some glances towards Gowon to focus, and once I’m done with the two cups of coffee I also took a small cookie jar and brought it in case she wanted some of those too.

Gowon and I exchanged nervous smiles as I set the contents on the table between us, finally giving myself a seat opposite her. The still air was still shrouded between us both and at this point I’m no longer sure if that came from me or from her.

“Thank you for these… you prepared even if I just went in without notice,” she added, taking a small sip from the coffee I gave her. “I wanted to ask you how you’ve been doing… you haven’t gone to class in like over a week. I just wondered how you were doing…”

“I’m… I’m fine, for the most part. I just could not bring myself to go back to school in full confidence; not now at least. I’m trying to busy myself on different things and so far it has been working out for me.”

“I see… you do look okay… I imagined you’d look differently now…”

“Was it better or worse…?”

“W-worse… sorry…”

“Well… I guess you had that right. If someone had been missing for that long, you ought to expect them to not look good, especially since things really did not end well when you last saw me. I’m sure you, of all people, would know about that… right?”

I raised my head as Gowon clearly paused on her cup, and yet ultimately sipped it a second time anyway.

The way I see things, Gowon and I barely had enough interactions despite her being Hyejoo’s bestfriend the moment she entered the university. I guess I could say that I knew her through Hyejoo, but even with that, it is still pretty hard to gauge how to approach a person. I wanted to be forward and ask her right away but I’m also considering how it would affect the flow of the conversation considering she seemed so anxious seated there.

“S-so, how are you passing your requirements nowadays…?” Gowon asked, diverting the conversation topic for what it was obviously headed to. “Having not to go to school might cause you to miss on a lot, you know… I’m just wondering when you’d come back…”

“I’m sending some stuff through e-mail. I had to make some dumb excuses for staying home and I pray that they buy it. If they don’t, then that’s when I’d think of what I could do.”

“Ah, that’s nice… I forgot that you have Hyojong to update you of those things… at least you won’t be behind too much… just make sure to get to the school for the final exams…”

“I intend to do that… I can’t imagine myself being stuck here until the end of the semester. Probably, and hopefully, by that time I figured out what on earth is wrong with me that I can compensate for everything that I have been doing for the past weeks and months. It’s crazy.”

“I… I hope you do… I’m looking forward to seeing you there…”

“By the way, Gowon, can I ask… how did you find out where I live?”

She seemed to have stopped on her tracks. Up until now, I could sense the feeling of restraint and anxiety from Gowon, not to mention how nervous and uncomfortable she looked like. I get it; she’s inside my apartment. I can understand why she might feel uneasy considering everything that was going on currently. However, I just cannot fathom why she seems to be fidgeting with something inside her pocket. Her hands keep in returning to her pocket and she appeared to be holding something in it. Not to mention, I could see her glancing at the wall clock I had above the door. If that was not enough of a hint that something wrong was going on, I don’t know what is.

“Gowon…?”

“Ah… yes…? Oh, how did I find out…? Hye… I mean Hyojong told me…”

I can’t take it anymore. I need to be forward otherwise this conversation is not going anywhere. Gowon looks utterly pressured with the time too for some reason; I wonder what on earth is up with that.

“Gowonah… I’m trying to keep this as chill and relaxed as I could, but I know much that Hyejoo sent you here for something. I know that she’s the one who told you where I lived… and you just slipped too…”

“S-sorry Sang-hoon… I don’t know how I’m going to tell you of things… I had to lie because I am supposed to ask you… Hyejoo…”

“It’s fine… I totally understand… what I don’t understand is why would Hyejoo ask you to go here instead of… you know, showing up? I get that she’s probably still mad at me, but I never imagined her to ask you to go here instead of going herself.”

“It’s… the situation is complicated… a-actually I came here because… I came here in behalf of Hyejoo to tell you that… she wants you to go back to school… she said that… that it’s not worth it wasting your academic life just because you two are not on good terms at the moment… she said that the Theatre club has repeatedly asked her for your presence, and that she cannot reply anything on your behalf because she… because Hyejoo had… she had no idea…”

That was the moment I felt my ears flare red as my heart began to beat fast. Gowon had begun to spill a sliver of everything that she knew, which is what I would have wanted the moment she went in here. However, as much as I wanted to talk and defend myself, I remained silent and merely occupied myself on the coffee; waiting for the rest of the story that she had yet to reveal. Gowon sensed that silence about me and beckoned, her forehead already displaying evidence of sweat.

“Hyejoo wanted me to tell you that… that she asked me to come because she does not want to give you more chances of going for her… Hyejoo wanted you to head back to school, continue with the club and your studies because you’re such a huge loss for the school. Sang-hoon… Hyejoo believes in your talents and… and your abilities… she said that… if you would just be confined in your own space just because of her, it would be a waste… that she could not live with it knowing you did that…”

“What…? Why would she ask you to come instead of her if that was just her reason…? I get that… I get that she does not want to see me to some degree, and I would never question that because it’s fair for her. But this... why does she need you to come all the way here just to tell me that?”

“I…”

There’s something wrong here. Something definitely was not adding up. The fact that Gowon is feeling so uneasy right now gives me the feeling that I’m close to squeezing something out of her. I had to be persistent and continue to pressure her into telling it, even if I am not a fan of doing this. Poor Gowon here was just caught in the crossfire for whatever Hyejoo had planned in her head.

“Gowonah… what is going on? Why are you telling me these things as if I’m not going to see Hyejoo again…?”

“Hyejoo wanted to break up with you after everything… she did not want to tell it straight up because… she can’t do it herself…”

What?

That does not make any sense to me. The frustration is already getting to me but I need to keep my cool for Gowon and this entire mission’s sake.

“Look, I know that I have been an asshole to Hyejoo for keeping a secret, and I am sorry for it. Every day that I spent with Hyejoo as a couple, I repeatedly tried to find the question; did I really date Hyejoo just for who she is or because she looked exactly like my childhood sweetheart? Gowonah, I know at this point she might have told you everything, and she trusts you to the point that you’d head here in her place just to break up with me. You probably know more than I thought you do, so I don’t think I need to tell you anything about Olivia Hye and who she is to me.

“Listen, Gowonah… I have no illusions that Hyejoo would still elect to keep me in this relationship because honestly, it would be better for her to let me go. I just want to ask for forgiveness from her; I want to apologize for using her as a substitute because the answer was evident: I saw my childhood sweetheart in her, and that is the reason why I went off crazy lengths just for her. She was already damaged because I did that, and the least thing I could do was to apologize for my actions and let her go. I don’t deserve her.

“However, even now a part of me wants to make this work out. A part of me wants to fight for her, because in the end I know that I saw Hyejoo as Olivia Hye but Son Hyejoo loved me for who I really am. She loved me despite me seeing someone in her. She saw the real me and fell in love that, the Choi Sang-hoon that could have been. I have been realizing a lot of things throughout the weeks that I’ve been revelling on our separation. It has been that long time alone that the silence made me think of her differently.

“Gowon, I’m not asking for a second shot from her because I know that I do not deserve it, but if she would give it to me I would never let that go; I would never let her go again. Deep down, I know that I saw someone else instead of her, but it also occurred to me that it was those same traits that I saw on Olivia; those very traits that caused me to fall for her were the very same reason that I took a liking into Hyejoo. She might not be the girl I once loved, but if I loved her just because of her appearance, I don’t think we would go this long into our relationship. I realized that it was not just the physical aspect that they’re similar, you know, but they were also both of the same pure and genuine heart. So if you’re going to ask me if I do want to fix this… I do. But if she does not want me anymore, I would not take that against her and leave her peacefully as I should. That’s all I wanted Gowon. I just want to apologize.”

I never noticed how much I have wavered in front of Gowon. Somehow all these pent up thoughts I have been thinking during this exile went off and Gowon was the one I had to tell it to. I never thought that that would happen but it just did. She was singlehandedly the least person I would view best to tell this to and I feel so fulfilled that she was the one with me here. If it were someone else, I don’t think it would have gotten the same sense of meaning.

Now, I have to worry about Gowon because that little monologue of mine seemed to have thrown her off. She was blushing from the other side of the table, not because she was feeling the butterflies I suppose, but because I just unleashed all my thoughts in front of her including my unsaid thoughts about this break-up with Hyejoo. She was just frozen staring at me with an expression that was so full of concern and pity radiating at the exact same time.

“Sang-hoon… oh my god, I can’t take this anymore… you need to know the truth…” I heard her reply once I fell silent. Like before, I noticed her glance at the wall clock again with a worried look, this time her face was already filled with sweat and her eyes were about to burst into tears..

“I’m sorry… I’ve been trying to keep this from you because… I’m trying to do this favour for Hyejoo… she wanted me to keep it from you. She wanted me to go here and distract you from what’s to come. I had to lie; I had to make things longer than they seem… I had to stall for her and I’m sorry.”

“Gowonah, please calm down. Hey, calm down and look at me,” I told her as I noticed her figure was shaking on her seat. “Calm down… what did Hyejoo tell you? It’s okay… it’s going to be okay, just relax. I’m listening, Gowonah.”

“S-she asked me for a favour… to go here and tell you of her farewells because… because Hyejoo’s intending to head out of the country for good... S-she… during your absence she has filed for a transfer, so I guess…. I have a feeling that she might be staying… she might study abroad… she’s headed to Europe… Sang-hoon… I’m sorry…”

Study abroad…?

She’s… she’s moving out for good?

What the fuck…?

“What the… why did you just tell me this now?”

“I’m sorry… she asked me to… she asked me to head here and hopefully stall you and prevent you for ever going after her; that she could just silently exit the country amidst what happened between you both, shutting down a potential conversation and a reconciliation. But now…. now that I have heard of everything… now that I have learned of what happened to you for the past week… I feel like I have no right to even deny you of the chance to get to her. I am not the person who decides if you should get to Hyejoo or not, but at least I can give you the chance that you need… and hopefully you get to her in time…”

“What are you saying…?”

“Sang-hoon, listen to me,” my heart raced fast as Gowon sat straight up, giving another good and quick glance at the wall clock above. “I’m stalling before, but now you need to go. Hyejoo’s flight is scheduled for this evening, and it’s departing at 6:00 PM. I’m sorry if I hadn’t told you right away; it was never the reason why I came here in the first place… please forgive me…”

What the fuck…?

In panic, I glanced towards the clock

4:52 PM

“Fuck… we have an hour to get to the airport! Do you know which airport she’s headed to?”

Gowon nodded, although I am barely even containing myself because of how much panicking I was doing. I can barely even concentrate with what was going on. In my rush, Gowon stood up, a bit shaky but she quickly composed herself and wiped the forming tears from her eyes.

“I’ll get a cab for us, Sang-hoon. I’ll help you get to the airport and chase after her. I’ll wait for you down the street.”

“Alright… leave the cups and the cookies; I’ll deal with them later. I’ll just grab a jacket, secure the apartment and meet you down there.

I did not even acknowledge Gowon’s nod of reply as she seemingly disappeared towards the door while I made my way back to my bedroom, fumbling on the easiest clothes to wear that my hands could readily reach. I was all over the place. The rush that I had in my head, the adrenaline that was coursing through my veins was everything. The situation I originally thought would end up as a tear jerker ended up being more of a chase for a single chance. This was it. This felt like the chance I could redeem myself from her and from Olivia Hye.

I never felt this hopeful since this week began.

I know that chasing after her would not undo the things I did during the past, but at least I got to pursue the possibility of me talking to her even if it would be the last. She would not be as Olivia now; she is Son Hyejoo and I need to get to her as soon as I could.

The apartment still had the lights left on, the unfinished groceries and the exposed coffee and cookies on the table when I moved to lock the front door and follow Gowon’s call from below. Everything flew at me all at once that the rush felt more like a split second of effort to get everything together. I went from sitting on that table to rushing down the stairs in a matter of minutes with one clear mission in mind:

I need to get to Hyejoo before her flight departs, and I have about an hour to do that.

---

All sense of comprehension and rational thinking were thrown along with the cab ride as Choi Sang-hoon repeatedly attempted to call Hyejoo, all while Gowon sat beside him giving directions towards the driver throughout the unexpectedly stressful trip to the airport. He thought that his one hour allowance was more than enough for him to make it in time. It just so happened that the time they traversed and rushed towards the airport was close to the city’s rush hour, ending up with them trying to squeeze through traffic all while the threat of losing Hyejoo looming in the cold air.

Sang-hoon attempted to connect a call to her throughout the trip in hopes of stopping her before she even boards. However, even that was nil as it yielded no results. Hyejoo’s cell was off and she was not responding on any of her socials. Even when it felt like a last, desperate attempt to do so, there still was no result.

The pair of them quickly paid the driver and hurried off towards the entrance of the airport, the cab zooming in the distance right after. Gowon and Sang-hoon hurried inside of the airport, having to go through a tremendous amount of convincing through the gate for them to be let in without an actual flight. It took a bit of Gowon’s sweet talking that they were eventually let in, with the promise that they would not take long inside and that they would exit on the same gate they were let in. As much as it was really amazing for him, he barely had time to recognize her help as he was fixated on chasing Hyejoo as much as he could. He ran towards the atrium of the very airport, carefully dodging a good amount of people walking to and fro while Gowon was left running after him.

He looked around the place, scanning each and every monitor above him in hopes of finding Hyejoo’s specific flight, and yet his eyes could not help but wander off towards the clock: 5:53. The realization that he barely had any time left seeped the minimal hope he had left within him.

“Follow me, it’s not a commercial flight,” Gowon said once she caught up and then passed him, headed towards the passenger assistance panel. With a sudden realization, Sang-hoon shook off from his temporary stupor and darted after Gowon. The pair eventually reached the panel and she was quick to speak to the person in charge.

“Good evening, ma’am, but please excuse us. We’re chasing a chartered flight scheduled to London, leaving in 6 PM tonight. Is it still here?”

“Chartered flight ma’am…?” the teller answered while she scanned towards the list of flights she had on screen. Every second passing that the attendance officer checked on her desk felt so nerve-wracking especially for him. It felt like every passing second was another lost chance to him…

“I’m sorry, but the flight you’re looking for had already departed five minutes ago. It went ahead of schedule. I’m sorry.”

“N-no… umm….thank you,” Gowon was as equally as pale as he was, yet she felt the tension he had with him. Choi Sang-hoon froze the moment his eyes fixated on the panel blinking overhead, devastated and had no idea what else to do with what he just heard.

That moment, the busy airport, the assistance desk, and even Gowon dissolved into silent noise. He felt nothing but the dread of his failure, of the entire weight of the loss causing his entire being and confidence to shatter. All of his misdeeds with Hyejoo seemed to flash on him that moment, increasing the dread brought by his defeat.

Even if he was a sliver of a time earlier, he would not have made it anyway as it was already doomed from the very beginning. The echo of missing someone just by a little bit of time stung him deeper than it should have. The first time he lost someone because of a late chase was when Olivia died, and now he had to endure the same thing with Hyejoo. It felt like an evil consequence for having to push Hyejoo too much into Olivia Hye.

“Sang-hoon … I’m sorry,” Gowon’s voice softly echoed as the smaller girl moved closer to him. He did not even realize that he turned away from the counter and faced the rest of the atrium in a dead gaze. “I’m sorry… I should have told you sooner… you might have gotten the chance…”

Even her apologies were left in a dead plea as she dissolved into her own soft sobs. He was not angry at Gowon by any means. Even if she had hesitated to tell him, in the end Gowon still chose to help him out. It was never her fault to him because she easily could have just shut up and he would never have even known of this plan in the first place. He merely supplied Gowon’s crying figure with a cold smile before turning his back against her, his feet pointed towards the entrance of which they previously entered from.

Gowon could only bring her head down as she watched the devastated figure of Choi Sang-hoon drag himself out of the airport. Once he was out, he continued on walking the same direction aimlessly, still quite engrossed on his disappointments and heft of the failure he had wrought with himself. His feet lead him away from the glassy exterior of the gate, past the road filled with unloading vehicles, and onto the other, park-like area that held a distant view of the runway.

A single tear began to tread down his cheek the moment he felt the grassy landscape graze under his shoes, fixating his eyes on the far horizon where he could see planes departing and heading off into the dark and cloudy skies above, wondering if Hyejoo was in one of those planes he saw fly off. Gowon followed suit, settling on the curb while keeping a sad sob dedicated for his defeat.

Sang-hoon’s legs wobbled as he lost all sense of strength to even stand up. He fell down on his knees with his eyes still fixated on the distance ahead.

It was over.

He lost his chance and it was beginning to hurt him.

There were no chances left.

He lost Hyejoo forever.

Sang-hoon kept his knees on the ground as the rest of his body fell frozen and limp with the weakening flurry of emotions, mind still lingering in limbo just as the weight of the situation began to push on him harder against the ground. A flood of tears trailed down from the corner of his eye down to his cheeks and onto the ground and yet he remained unfazed. It was more of a combination of shock and helplessness that he had with him, add the feeling of uncertainty as well as loss of purpose.

As much as the outside of the night-shrouded wide ‘park’ had that combined scent of industry as well as grass mixed with it, the hairs on the back of his neck raised momentarily when he inhaled the smell of a familiar flowery scent just as he felt the progression of steps head towards his direction. At first he thought that it was Gowon; being the person he knew was there with him. It would make sense for her to reach out and ask if he was okay. He was so sure that he didn’t even mind looking back at her for it.

However, he felt a strange sensation akin to a goose bump when the back of his head was caressed by an even more familiar touch. The coldness of the outdoor strip only emphasized the warmth of the touch; it was like home. It was strong enough to have shaken him off of his dreaming and seemingly restored all the strength he had lost mere moments ago.

A shiver went through his entire body just as he regained the courage and strength to finally stand out and face the person that held him…

Son Hyejoo stood beside his rather distraught figure with an air of warmth in her, rivalling the touch she did on Sang-hoon’s head. The contrast of her black leather jacket over a white dress seemed ever so perfect for his immediate predicament then and there, especially so since she looked like an angel that saved him from his absolute desperation. Hyejoo’s prominent and sharp facial features supplied a hearty smile towards the man opposite her, seemingly like a phantom giving him an expression he certainly was not expecting from her.

“Hyejoo… omo… it’s you!” he said, still quite in disbelief. His hands settled on holding her own, quite working his sensations on believing what he was just seeing. “Hyejoo… is this true…? Is this really you? You… you came back?”

Hyejoo nodded in clear attempt to suppress her weeping as she held on Sang-hoon while in turn wiping his face off of his tears.

“I… I never wanted to leave… I booked everything and decided on impulse… I was so ready … I was so ready to let go and then… I can’t put my heart onto it. It felt wrong just to leave you like this… and I came back… I came back for you.”

“You… you chose to stay even if… even with everything I did…?”

Hyejoo nodded once more, and the moment she felt tears streaming down her eyes, she launched herself over Choi Sang-hoon and gave him a tight embrace.

“You have no idea how hard that week was after we’ve fought… I wanted to talk to you the moment that I got mad, but I just can’t bring myself to… after all the anger I threw at you, I felt ashamed of what I did… I never should have disgraced your memory of Olivia, Sang-hoon … I know that she means a lot to you, otherwise you would not have seen her in me.”

“But Hyejoo… you… you had every right to get angry at me… I used you as a proxy for her… I saw her instead of you… I made a huge mistake…”

“Sang-hoon,” Hyejoo continued as she moved to hold his face. “It felt wrong to leave… If I took that flight, I would be coming back as soon as I could…”

“Hyejoo…”

“It never felt right… I knew that when I wanted to leave, it would not be the right choice knowing what my heart was truly telling me to do. My heart belongs with you, my Sang-hoon, and so even if I was so close to boarding I decided against it. I came back because I wanted to be with you. I came back because I choose to be with you.”

“But… but Olivia... Hyejoo, what about what I did…?”

Hyejoo shook her head as she, too, began to be flooded with tears as well.

“I don’t care anymore… even if you see Olivia in me, or see me as Hyejoo… I don’t care anymore. My heart speaks for you… We were always meant to see each other no matter what… If this was fated… if this entire encounter was done because of Olivia Hye, then at least I can thank her for letting me meet you. I’ll have to thank her that I was the one she chose to take care of you… I love you, Choi Sang-hoon. I wish that I went to your apartment the first chance I did.”

“Yah… you even sent Gowon … I could already feel that something was wrong… don’t get mad at her; this entire airport scene would not even be possible if it weren’t for her help,” he added. “She kind of broke down and told me of your plans, and so that brought us here.”

“I counted on her… I was so confused with what I was feeling that I left everything to chance; that everything would eventually line up if we were really meant for each other and thankfully they did… Whatever things you said to Gowon, whatever things you said to move her feelings tell my entire escape to you… I guess it’s all meant for us to see each other here.”

With that, Sang-hoon could not help but smile. It certainly felt like a very one chance, like a single point in time where everything needed to line up for it to work and thankfully it did. Hyejoo came back, and now he knew what he had to tell her after weeks of thinking about it.

“Hyejoo… I have been thinking about this for the longest time… thank you. Thank you for coming back and I’m sorry for the things I did during the past. I know what my heart is telling me as well. I thought I was staying because of Olivia, but I realized that I wanted to save the relationship we had because I saw who you truly were. I guess you could say that… that I fell for you harder when… when I realized the fear of losing you for good. I lost Oli before; I’m not losing you too…

“I love you. I love you, Son Hyejoo. I love you with all of my heart!”

The statement from Sang-hoon earned a slight blush from Hyejoo’s end, although she was already sure that her heart was fluttering for the man standing in front of her, and not for anyone else. She felt it too; the intense sensation of her heart being at home and feeling comfort when he’s nearer… it felt like the perfect place to be with on that time. Neither of them if they were causing a scene in front of the approaching airport-goes; the moment was years, even decades in the making that they just need to savour the moment while it lasted. Both he and Hyejoo could feel the flashes and cameras coming from the patrons taking a picture of them as they embraced in the middle of the grass. The intimacy provided touching warmth towards each other, probably even echoed to the tens of people who bear witness to their reconciliation. Even Gowon herself could not help but join in, all while keeping her tears to herself knowing how much it took for both of them to get to that point.

It was beautiful and well-earned indeed. Sang-hoon and Hyejoo were the moment and he never could have wished for a better conclusion than that.

“You know that we have a lot of cameras pointed at our way, right?” Hyejoo added once they broke off of the embrace as well transferring her gaze towards the small crowd watching them from the other side of the street, with Gowon even joining in the mix from the nearby curb. “People are going to know of our face now, snuggling at the airport in front of everyone else. What a way to be known, you know.”

“I’m more worried about Gowon standing there while we’re doing this, actually,” he replied, earning a chuckle from Hyejoo. “You owe her a lot, Hyejoo; actually we both do. She was the one that made this entire thing possible, if not the single cause why we met each other here at the airport. We need to treat her dinner for tonight, at least.”

Hyejoo nodded and smiled towards him, still keeping his hands anchored with hers.

“We have all the time in the world. I promise I’ll thank her for you. I love you~”

And before the young man could even reply to Hyejoo’s display of her affection, he felt her lips onto his as she invited her into an intimate lip-lock. All sense of shame and embarrassment were shaken off as he joined with Hyejoo, kissing and hugging her amidst the public while they both basked on the applause, squeals, gasps and camera flashes like a pair of celebrities, with Gowon joining in the camera to document a seemingly historical moment for them both. All was well for both Son Hyejoo and Choi Sang-hoon as they welcome the start of their new life together.

---EPILOGUE---

The sun rose bright on a warm Sunday morning; its rays illuminating the beautiful face of Son Hyejoo as she sat waiting for her friend, Park Gowon, to join her at the table. Despite being an average weekend void of any sort of academic requirements, it felt ever so special for her. It was akin those days after a huge typhoon; just so full of comfort and warmth. Then again, it might as well have been. Four days has passed since the closure at the airport and Hyejoo was still picking up her new life as Choi Sang-hoon’s girlfriend once again.

Even if they had been dating before, with everything that happened they felt more like a new couple more than anything else.

“Sorry that took longer than usual. The restroom has a queue, surprisingly, and even in this time of the day,” Park Gowon greeted Hyejoo the moment she came back from her soft break, wiping her hands on the sides of her jeans.

Gowon continued on and sat opposite Hyejoo, her face equally illuminated by the bright light coming from the glass beside them. She did not seem to mind or flinch at the contact of light on her face; to Hyejoo, she even appeared to be glowing amidst the bright morning daylight.

“I hope you don’t mind the seat I chose. I felt so cold for a long time I just wanted to find something bright and a bit warm,” Hyejoo informed before passing the cup to her. “Here’s your order. Like I promised, it’s on me because I dragged you all over here.”

“Omo, thank you for this… but you know, I would not have minded if I paid for it. It’s not like you owe me a drink for that matter.”

“I think that that’s not even enough for everything you did for me and Sang-hoon, Gowon-ah. You did so much for us and I have caused too much trouble for your worth, so please allow me to repay you even in this manner; that goes to say that this won’t be the last that I’d be treating you as well.”

“Yah… I did that because you’re my friend; but I do appreciate that you think highly of me… I am very much grateful. I would have been okay as-is seeing that everything worked out the way that they did. I’m happy for you and Sang-hoon, Hyejoo-ah. I can’t believe that I used to speak ill about him and now, here we are; I’m just so happy how you two ended up because it you two went through a lot.

“I must admit, though, that I’m quite surprised that you came back all of a sudden. I honestly thought that you had your mind decided when you left, especially with how everything was set-up. It really never occurred to me that you’d even ditch your flight just to get to him. What made you stay? What made you change your mind?”

“You know, I was so close to the flight. All it would take was for me to head out of the airport’s doors and walk up the plane and everything would be over, but then everything felt so wrong. During his absence from the school and after my anger had subsided even by a bit, I tried to calm myself up and try to find answer to the questions I head soaring in my head. I wanted to know what made me so similar to Olivia Hye and whether if there was a real reason that we’re connected. I… I found an answer, Gowon. I discovered something during my investigation, and ever since then I began to doubt if leaving Sang-hoon was the best course of action now with that knowledge in my head.”

“Whoa… it must be really strong then. If it was enough that it alone caused you to not continue with everything, then it must be really significant.”

“I suppose so… the thought never left my mind after that discovery. Now that it was fate aligning everything for me and Sang-hoon, it feels like going against what was destined. It’s like a crime against nature.”

“’Destiny’… wait, what exactly did you discover, Hyejoo-ah?”

Hyejoo paused in front of her friend as she eyed the cup of drink she ordered, sighed and then moved to close her eyes. Her silky touch then went off towards Gowon’s hands on the other side of the table, feeling the cold touch of her best friend on her own.

“Gowonah… I’m going to tell you a secret that I haven’t told anyone just yet, not even him… so please promise me for now that you’d keep it until the time is right. Can you do that for me?”

Gowon was obviously taken aback at the sudden development, even more so surprised with Hyejoo’s touch. The contact only emphasized how heavy the revelation felt, quite accentuated by Hyejoo’s own cold and stern gaze. It took her a couple of seconds to gather herself again and get in the same page as Hyejoo before nodding in agreement.

“I figured that… I figured that I wanted you to know of this first because of all the crap I pushed you through… it just felt right that you should know, before everyone else does in the long run. I’ll tell you of the reason why I came back…”

Once again, Gowon supplied her friend with a curt nod.

“Okay,” Hyejoo began as she repositioned herself on the chair. “You know that while I had Olivia Hye’s diary within my possession, I did well and read some of the entries she wrote there, particularly focusing on the ones that were ‘significant’ before she died. Those were the entries that piqued my interest, thinking somewhere beyond those diary entries that there might be a hidden answer; a link that connected me to her in some way. After learning the truth of her existence, I took pictures of her ‘significant’ entries in hopes of showing it to Sang-hoon once I confront him, but it went to waste because I just went verbal with him in my anger. Those pictures were actually useful while I tried to learn more of Olivia Hye by my own.

“That was when I discovered that Olivia Hye died on the same year that I was saved; that she died around the same time that I was granted my second life by the person who saved me.”

“Omo,” Gowon’s eyes widened in shock, covering her surprised mouth with a hand. “Omo, so is that what you discovered, Hyejoo? Did you finally have the answer…?”

Hyejoo fell silent.

“Hyejoo-ah, so are you actually Olivia Hye?”

“No,” she answered curtly. “I’m not Olivia Hye, Gowonah. I don’t even know how that is possible, but somehow I had the exact same face with someone that I have no real relation to. It just so happened that both this Olivia Hye person and I looked exactly alike, but we’re two completely different people. It’s hard to believe but it’s the truth.”

“Huh…?” Gowon supplied her with a confused look. “Wait, so you’re actually not? You’re telling me that you discovered that you’re NOT Olivia Hye…?”

Hyejoo nodded.

“I’m not Olivia Hye.”

“Well then… if that’s the case, why come back? I thought that was the entire reason why you came back to him; that it felt like a ‘crime against nature’ to not even go back to him? So why head back if you’re not actually the person he was dating before? What made you come back in an instant?”

Once again, Hyejoo sighed.

“I may not be the same person that Sang-hoon loved growing up… I may not be the girl named Olivia Hye but that does not mean I’m not connected to him in any way, because in a complicated way I actually am…”

“Huh…?”

“Gowonah, do you remember the story I told you back then, of how I almost died years ago… I haven’t told you anything in detail about that, right? I just told you that… that this entire life was a second chance because I was saved by someone… do you still remember that story?”

Gowon nodded, yet still she was not sure where the conversation was heading.

“Was Sang-hoon the person who saved you?”

However, instead of giving Gowon an answer for the floating question, Son Hyejoo began to shift herself on her chair once again, sitting as straight as she could to show her upper body to Gowon as much as possible. Then, amidst the early sun’s rays, Hyejoo notably began unbuttoning the first batch of buttons on her collared shirt from her neck, each split showing more and more skin as well as the white bra she wore underneath.

“Y-yah, what are you doing?” a panicked Gowon scolded from the other side of the table, quickly scanning the surroundings as well as the outdoor window for any passers-by. “Yah, are you seriously removing your top here, Hyejoo? You’re going to be seen by a lot of people!”

“Relax, I’m not going to remove all of it off… just until here,” she said once her unbuttoning reached the second button below her bust. “It’s not like I’m just casually undressing here out in the open. I mean, I chose this time of the day, and this particular seat within this shop that we cannot be seen by chance. Here, look.”

Hyejoo grasped both the hem of her unbuttoned shirt and gently tugged them open, effectively showing Gowon her breasts behind her white bra, including a small portion of her midriff.

“Y-yah, what am I supposed to be looking at?” Gowon answered with quite a blush, and yet she immediately paused once she noticed something different with Hyejoo’s chest. She inched her face closer and eyed her bust carefully, thinking it was just a deep cleavage in result of Hyejoo’s rather sizable breasts, but then it was not.

A huge scar lined down Hyejoo’s torso starting from the middle of her sternum and finishing just above her stomach. It was not easy to spot at first glance, yet Gowon was sure that it was definitely a scar.

“That’s… that’s a scar, right Hyejoo? Is that a scar from…Is that a scar from a surgery?”

Hyejoo nodded in affirmation before proceeding to re-button her shirt once again.

“Growing up, I always endured chest pains as a result of having a relatively weaker heart, which is the reason why I never did anything strenuous during my youth. I thought I could keep myself like that until I grow old, that I could keep myself doing as minimal work as I could, living with small work as I could. However, years ago my frail heart finally showed fatal signs and I had to be taken in because I was in such a huge risk. The complications were so severe that it almost caused my body to give up, and the only solution they found was if someone were to donate me a heart that was compatible with my body. Like a miracle, the doctors found a perfect donor; they found a heart that felt so compatible with me that they called it ‘the heart I should have had in the first place’. That was the moment that I was given a second life by someone I had no clue of.

“I always wanted to know the identity of my saviour, so then I can thank them for giving me this second chance at life. However, confidentiality was always there, so I gave up on the search for a bit… until recently I got to connect the dots that made me curious of their identity once again. I know I can’t do this alone, so I asked my father to use his connections with the medical field to find out what I wanted to find out, just so I can finally bring peace to myself and learn the name I yearned for years... It was very difficult to do so, and dad had to jump on a lot of ropes just to get the answer he was looking for, especially more so that even that even the donor’s family kept the secret to themselves and the doctors… I don’t even know how he found out because he never wanted to specify the details, but he eventually did…

“Gowonnah, I finally learned of the name of my donor…

“The owner of this heart was a girl named Olivia Hye.”

---END---

#loona #loona hyeju #olivia hye #fanfic #kpop story #park gowon #son hyeju #loona hyejoo #kpop smut #kpop #undying love #male reader

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d-dalladalla · 1 year

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may i request olivia hye x reader where g!p olivia hye and reader are room mates (lets pretend loona still lives in one dorm) . one late night they were having sex and then suddenly they hear the other members just outside the room so they try their best to stay quiet..bonus points if they end up failing miserably from how good it felt

A/N: this is so hot ohmy god

Hyeju really wasted no time when it came to you, in every way and having the both of you be roommates was the best decision she ever made.

She was already balls deep in your sopping cunt, your eyes rolled back, mouth wide and drooling as she draped her body over yours, her sweaty chest stuck to your back, her toned arms showing no sign of giving out as she held herself up. Her thighs separating yours and keeping them spread, ass up and head down and your back in that perfect arch she loved so much.

she leaned her head down, lips just ghosting over the shell of your ear, you could practically hear her smirk, her eyes hooded and dark as she filled your tight pussy over and over again. Her hips slapped yours over and over again. The sound bounced off the walls and surely leaked through the gaps in the door and out into the dorm.

"God, I love your pussy so much baby girl." she husked, hot breath warming your ear and sending a shiver down your spine and a high-pitched whine left your lips. Her cock stretched your walls and constricted again whenever she pulled out, over and over again.

"Baby, please go faster...harder," you begged, hands coming back to grip at her thighs as she fucked you, fingernails leaving deep crescent-shaped scars. She chuckled and without warning, her thrusts became harsher. You could feel her precum start to leak out, filling you up and leaking out onto the sheets and you started to get impossibly wetter.

Your high-pitched wails and moans and her low groans and mumbles muxed together but Hyeju suddenly froze her movements at the sound of loud footsteps outside her door, a sudden conversation between your shared members coming through the door, panic and guilt eating at your heart and you were ready to move away and hesitantly pull yourself off her cock.

But she stopped you, body draping over yours once again, arms circling yours and hips keeping yours pinned to the bed. Her thrusts picked up again and harder than before, trying her best to muffle her grunts and biting her lip, her hand coming up to your mouth and slipping two fingers in, your tongue swirling instantly around them and suddenly.

She tried her best to keep silent but the both of you failed, her grunts getting louder and so did your moans, and the sudden silence from the other side of the door when Hyeju let out a particularly loud moan and multiple praises of your name as she emptied into you, your own orgasm earning a loud whine from your lips and the footsteps became further and further away.

Dinner would surely be very uncomfortable later.

#Son Hyeju x female reader #Olivia Hye x female reader #Loona x female reader smut

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authorforrosie · 2 years

Text

Dating Olivia Hye From Loona Would Include:

•You and Son Hyeju first met under the cherry blossoms. Where she saw you standing there looking glorious. She only had the thought that she needs a date with you. Which she did two days after you gave her your number.

•Son Hyeju asked you to be her girlfriend after she went to the art gallery with you. Since art is your passion.

•You help her to rest when she doesn’t have a comeback or tour. You help her at bed, adjusting her pillows and tucking her into the blankets.

•Son Hyeju takes care of you when you are injured because of how clumsy you can be.

•You get video games for her to play since you know how much she loves gaming. Mostly when there’s no comeback or no tour.

•Son Hyeju gets you all the merchandise from Loona. You often pull her photocards. You fangirl then about how she is your ultimate bias

•You support her in everything she does. Mostly when she has a comeback, tour’s, photoshoots or interviews. You always come along since you keep her calm and relax her.

•Son Hyeju often feels like she can't show or tell you enough how much she and her bandmates from Loona appreciate you. Besides your effort to make her and her bandmates very happy.

•You cried while yelling „Yes” four times when Son Hyeju got down on one knee in front of you. She asked you to marry her on stage. While being on tour together with her bandmates.

•Son Hyeju still cries whenever she thinks back to the day when she asked you to marry her. It’s one of the best day’s in her life.

•You help her bandmates to make Son Hyeju more comfortable and take care of her. Since she is very shy. Definitely more shy than you.

• Son Hyeju pouts when you can’t kiss her because of her or your work. You are their photographer. Since you are a very successful and famous photographer worldwide.

•You marry Son Hyeju under the Cherry Blossoms where you both first met each other. Her bandmates and your family cried at your wedding. Since it’s very romantic in their opinions.

•Son Hyeju teased her family and bandmates for crying at her wedding. Later she admitted that she cried because you looked so beautiful in that white wedding dress.

•You are like a sister and an unofficial Loona member for Son Hyeju’s bandmates. They loved you for Son Hyeju. You are perfect for her in their opinions.

•You bring them food when they have recordings or dance practice. Which all of them kissed you on the cheeks for. When it was Son Hyeju’s turn she attacked your whole face with many kisses. Which always makes your cheeks flush red in a blush and giggle with a shy expression on your face.

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wonysugar · 10 months

Text

masterlist<3

(f) = fluffy fluff omg

(a) = angst oh no

nothing = nasty fucking smut

IVE

Ahn Yujin :

dommeangirl!yujin x sub!femreader headcanons

birthday party : gp!yujin x wonyoung x birthdaygirl!reader

#ahn yujin

Jang Wonyoung :

if you insist : scum!wonyoung x goodgirl!femreader

birthday party : gp!yujin x wonyoung x birthdaygirl!reader

babydaddy g!p wonyoung drabble

angel : wonyoung x 6thmember!femreader

#jang wonyoung

Kim Gaeul :

none yet :(

Kim Jiwon (Liz) :

drabbles!

#kim jiwon

ITZY

Hwang Yeji :

domceo!yeji x subfem!reader headcanons

#hwang yeji

Shin Ryujin :

hickeys : fwb!ryujin x fem!reader

#shin ryujin

Lee Chaeryeong :

none yet :(

Shin Yuna :

none yet :(

Choi Jisu (Lia) :

none yet :(

ENHYPEN

Kim Sunoo :

sleepy : nonidol!sunoo x gf!femreader

missed you : stripper!sunoo x rich!femreader

#sub sunoo

LE SSERAFIM

Kim Chaewon :

dom!bestfriendchaewon x sub!femreader : friends to lovers

#kim chaewon

Nakamura Kazuha :

nothing yet, but drabbles are available through this hashtag!

#nakamura kazuha

Miyawaki Sakura :

nothing yet, but drabbles are here!

#sakura miyawaki

Huh Yunjin :

doing what’s right : yunjin x fem!reader

#huh yunjin

STAYC

Lee Chaeyoung (Isa) :

show them : camgirl!isa x fem!reader

#lee chaeyoung

TWICE

Sana Minatozaki :

idol!sana x fan!femreader

#sana minatozaki

Son Chaeyoung :

drabbles only!

#son chaeyoung

Yoo Jeongyeon :

drabblesss

#yoo jeongyeon

Im Nayeon :

drabbles yippee

#im nayeon

NMIXX

Lily Morrow :

perfect : idol!lily x idol!femreader

#lily morrow

AESPA

Aeri Uchinaga (Giselle) :

it’s so over for me : smau

keep talking : bsf!giselle x fem!reader (phone sex)

hate rodrigo (literally) : angsty!giselle x whitegirlmusic! femreader

#aeri uchinaga

Kim Minjeong (Winter) :

skilled : bully!winter x nerd!femreader

#kim minjeong

Ning Yizhuo (NingNing) :

fuck you stupid : bimbo!ningning x bff!femreader

#ning yizhuo

Yoo Jimin (Karina) :

sorry : childhoodbff!karina x fem!reader (a)

#yoo jimin

LOONA aka. loossemble, artms, chuu and yves

Son Hyeju :

i’ll wake you up : stranger!hyeju x sleepdeprived!femreader (f)

#son hyeju

NEWJEANS

Hanni Pham :

close the door : non-idol!hanni x gf!femreader

#hanni pham

more to come!!

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vex91 · 7 months

Text

Loossemble Masterlist

(f) - fluff, (a) - angst, (af) - angst + fluff (s) - smut

Wong Kahei:

Nothing yet...

Kim Hyunjin:

Nothing yet...

Park Chaewon:

Nothing yet...

Son Hyeju:

Nothing yet...

Im Yeojin:

Nothing yet...

OT5:

Nothing yet...

#loossemble x reader #wong kahei x reader #kim hyunjin x reader #park chaewon x reader #son hyeju x reader #im yeojin x reader

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sanakuri · 1 year

Text

´ཀ` masterlist (KPOP GG)

˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́੭ꠥ⁾⁾ masterlist (KPOP GG OC)

＿|￣|○ currently making/ on going

༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ abt me

ULT list

๑ Son Hyeju, Bae Joohyun, Minatozaki Sana, Kim Jisoo(😦), Lee Chearyeong, Kim Chaewon, Tiffany Young, Kim Yewon (Umji), Moon Byulyi, Hanni, Kim Jiwoo (nmixx), Ning Yi Zhuo, Seo Soojin, Ahn Yujin, Huening Bahiyyih, Jo Yuri, Bae Sumin

Requests: open

Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑). My account is used for entertainment purposes only! I just like to write for fun, I don’t really have an uploading schedule, I use this account most to post about kpop or my kpop oc’s (Y/N will be thrown in here and there) everything I do is for fun please do not take seriously.

I don’t write full on smut but there’s hints of it. I don’t write for male audiences, I don’t write for male idols (I actually do not know how to write for them and writing in male perspective just isn’t me.).

No pedophila

#navigation #kpop gg #sanakuri

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bewarexy · 7 months

Text

희혜

<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/35091601">Welcome To The Jungle</a> (10597 words) by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepitshrimpie">keepitshrimpie</a> Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/tags/LOONA%20(Korea%20Band)">LOONA (Korea Band)</a> Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jeon Heejin/Son Hyeju | Olivia Hye, Jeon Heejin & Son Hyeju | Olivia Hye Characters: Jeon Heejin, Son Hyeju | Olivia Hye Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Futanari, Girl Penis, G!P, Fluff, Crack, Romance, Smut, Inspired by Tarzan Summary: Hyejoo is marooned on an island and meets Heejin.

0 notes

lynnsquared · 3 months

Note

hyeju first time headcannons? 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 i cant wait for ur comebut❤️❤️❤️

🐬 hihi sweetie, thank u for asking 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 +how is it my comebut if this is my first post 🤔 anyway.. 😖 this is kinda long (1k words 😳) so just pretend its not because. i think about her .. so much..

your first time with hyeju was kind of.. spontaneous?

you two had been dating for 2 months-ish and she invites u over to her house just to hang out as a date 👀

it starts with u and her on her couch as you watched her play a game (but being honest you were probably just staring at her the whole time)

after a little while she lost a major battle and got all pouty and upset 😭🥺 you mostly laughed at her serious reaction to the loss, but you tried to comfort her anyway.

you figured it wouldn't hurt to give her a quick peck on her lips. ofc you kissed before, so you had nothing to be worried about.. and she just looked so cute when she pouted

hyeju perks up almost instantly and ofc you have to tease her more for that, but eventually she pulls you in for another kiss and 🥴

it wasn't long before you felt her hands tug at your waist to pull you into her lap.. i mean like 😭 u were just straight up making out at this point,, and when u straddled her? omg. her head could've explodedkjskjgksg

her hands crept from your waist to your thighs and she gave them a light squeeze, causing you to whimper into her mouth as she kissed you 😵 this turned her on... so .. much ..

you pull away and look into her dumbfounded eyes, but before you can say anything she kisses you again

only this time its way hornier and she's being a lot more.. touchy 😇

"wait, hyeju," you stutter out, prompting her to stop. she looks at you with SO MUCH concern in her eyes, she's super worried that she was making u uncomfortable..

but when you request that you go further? she felt like she was flying.

hyeju is SO gentle but obviously she wants to show off so she picks you up and carries you to her room before laying you down on your back, brushing all the hair out of your face and kissing you again.. her strong hands trailed under your shirt, up your body and then found a place to rest just underneath your breasts, squeezing them lightly

when she heard you moan in response she couldn't help but want more, it was sooo addictive to her 😭🥺

her kisses trailed down to your jaw as she pushed your bra up to feel your sensitive skin, toying with one of your erect nipples as she lowered her head more to press soft kisses all over your neck

she thought u were soo cute when u whined and stammered out desperate pleas for more.. you were so wet but u could barely tell her that cus u were so shy :((

eventually one of her hands slid down to your jeans, unbuttoning it before sloooowwly pulling down the zipper

your chest heaves up and down as your breathing intensifies, looking at her with half-lidded eyes

"hyeju, wait, i've never done this before," you confessed to her shyly.. her cheeks flushed before she smiled reassuringly and told you, "i've never done this either, why don't we learn together?"

this turned both of you on INFINITELY more.. knowing u were each others first made u both SWOON 💞💞

anyways so after both of you had confessed you'd never had sex before she went back to what she was doing before you paused and started to slip your jeans off with little to no struggle

when they were gone and you were left in just your shirt and panties hyeju began to rub circles on your clit through the fabric.

she could feel how wet u were even with the fabric and holy moly.. the physical contact between her fingers and your soaked panties combined with the slew of lewd noises leaving your mouth was too much to handle 😖

your needy whines for more were the only motivation she needed to pull your panties down just a bit, finally making skin-to-skin contact with your soaked pussy

she teasingly slid a finger between your folds while her thumb stayed on your clit,, she looked at you with big pleading eyes, asking quietly "is this ok? are you sure you're ready?" ☹️ her caring words were SO cute but also really sexy somehow??!?

when you nodded at her questions, she gently inserted her middle finger, softening her gaze as she watched you arch your back into her.

she gave you a second before she started moving her hand, "is this hurting you? am i hurting you?"

when you shook your head no she sped up, stimulating your clit with her palm as her finger slid in and out of you

it was so quiet and you were so wet the noises that came from your soaked cunt + your sweet moans only made hyeju want to go harder ,,, which she did 😁

seeing the way u reacted to her speeding up was SO cute to her, she just had to insert another finger ,, 😗

when she slipped her index finger in you placed both of your hands on her shoulders, shaking a bit from how good you felt..

hyeju being the sweet girl she is checked in on you again, making sure she wasn't hurting u,,,

when u told her it was good her lust for you took over again, slightly curling her fingers within you and hitting your most sensitive spots,,

with every motion you felt your climax approaching 😣 when you told her this she encouraged you to let loose and,, ofc u did, cumming all over her fingers

she gave you a second to come down from your high before taking her fingers out of your cunt and licking the mix of slick and cum you'd left from them

this sight is. quite the attractive one, btw..

when it comes to aftercare hyeju is just the most loving person on the planet 😭💞 she kisses u and caresses you soo much, holding you tightly in her arms,,

she tells u how well you did and how happy she was that you let her be your first and how much she loves u, all mushymushy,,

she lets u lay and rest in her bed for a bit before drawing a bath for the both of you, telling you it's just to clean up and she won't bother u with more erotic touches

but you never know 😇🙏

thats it thank you for reading this long long post,,, if u notice any shitty mistakes plz just know i wrote this all when i was very very sleepy 😭 hope u like it anyway,, 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

#lynn's drabbles #loona smut #loona x reader #loona imagines #hyeju x reader #hyeju x fem reader #loossemble x reader #son hyeju x reader #son hyeju x fem reader #girl group smut #girl group x fem reader #sorry i dont know how to tag jkfjkdsfkfks

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chunksworld · 2 years

Text

Sober

Loosemble Hyeju x Male Reader | (Tags: Fluff, Angst, Smut) | bestfriend!Hyeju

A/N: This fic is dedicated to my clones, @kaedewrites and @sinswithpleasure. Thank you both for giving me the fuel that I needed to finish this piece with all of the Hyeju pics that you guys sent (please keep them coming). I would also like to thank Kaede for the beta read.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The enigma that is Son Hyeju never ceases to amaze you. So gorgeous, yet so handsome. So exquisite and charming, yet so charismatic and intimidating. So close, yet so far. One could say that your relationship with the aforementioned woman is filled with ambiguity, a label failing to encapsulate the complexities woven in its very fabric.

Ask her and she would refer to you as her childhood best friend, a companion providing a sense of comfort through her life’s triumphs and tribulations for the better part of the twenty years you two have existed on this planet. Ask yourself and you find it much rather difficult in arriving at a decisive answer. What is she to you, exactly? Best friend? Perhaps.

However, her actions provide a cruel juxtaposition to such a label. Ever since you became college students, a paradigm shift occurred in the dynamics of your friendship. From the way you would parade around campus holding hands to the casual makeout sessions that would ensue every time you two consumed one bottle too many of soju are certainly not actions befitting those of just childhood friends. But you have long decided to turn a blind eye, fearing the repercussions of exploring the possibilities of what lies beyond the gray area of said relationship.

Much like Sisyphus, you are subjected to your own eternal suffering–condemned to push the proverbial boulder up the hill of your feeble mind. But in place of an enraged Greek god is yourself. You. You are your worst enemy. Plagued by your doubts and insecurity, you have somehow managed to convince yourself that your friendship with Hyeju can not evolve into something more. Testing the waters would involve diving deep into her heart and you decided that you are not ready to discover the truth, whatever that may be.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The familiar, rhythmic knock on your door ground you back to reality, transporting you to your one bedroom apartment in Seoul. That knock is none other than your best friend’s. Crap, you’ve descended into a spiral once again. Your thoughts blazing through the galaxy at the speed of light pondering about how things could have been, what it could potentially be.

“I’m coming!”

You quickly stand up from your gaming chair and head out to the front door, kicking crushed cans of beer in the living room to the side in a last minute attempt to make your apartment presentable. You open the door and an extremely distressed Son Hyeju presents herself to you, a backpack slung lazily over her shoulder.

Her eyebrows are furrowed while her signature triangular shaped lips protrude ever so slightly. She almost looks cute, almost. Only if it wasn’t for the fact that she nearly broke your wrist when you made the silly attempt of trying to engage in an arm wrestling match with her. Or the countless other times when her otherworldly strength for a woman completely baffled you. You don’t mind though, because that just makes her a thousand times more attractive in your eyes.

“What’s up Hye.”

“Hey chief, can you help me out with Professor Kim’s assignment? That old bastard really assigned 5 pages worth of work over the weekend as if all we do is study.”

“Hyeju, I-”

You were about to refuse her request but this attempt is rendered futile when she walks past you and makes a beeline towards the coffee-stained couch, not even bothering to wait for your response as she sits on it. You close the door behind you and follow her on the couch, her eyes examining the furniture. She winces as she tries to get a whiff of it, the look of disgust visible on her face.

“Why the hell do you still have this old ass couch from freshman year? There’s like a furniture store a couple of miles away, I’m pretty sure they’ve got some affordable ones.”

“Does it look like I can afford anything right now? I can barely pay my damn bills.” You point towards the stack of envelopes on the center table, the sheer amount causing it to almost fall on its side.

“See, if you just stopped being so stubborn and moved in with me, this wouldn’t be a problem. All you have to do is pay half the rent. We both make enough money with our part time jobs anyways.” Her attention turns towards the stack, mindlessly scouring through them.

“And what? Have your parents check in every single week to make sure I haven’t made a move on you yet?”

“I wouldn’t mind if you made a move, anyways.” Hyeju mutters, a blush creeps up on her face but thankfully she was looking in the opposite direction.

“What?”

She sighs in exasperation, her eyes shooting daggers at you. “I said you’re an idiot and you’re so clueless!“

“Look, did you come here to argue with me or do you actually need help? Cuz I don’t have all the time in the world.”

“Yes, I do need help! So would you do me a favor, pretty please?” Those eyes. Those damn puppy eyes. You wished your heart’s immediate reaction was not to start racing faster than a Ferrari every single time. Fuck, she knew just what to do to push your buttons and your hopeless self had no choice but to oblige.

It takes you a few seconds to calm down and get your bearings. “....Fine. But you better not try anything stupid.” A bright, gummy smile spreads across her face; she rarely shows off that particular smile but when she does, your brain goes haywire. She’s really trying to kill me today.

“You got it, chief.” She salutes mockingly before sending a wink in your direction.

The rest of the afternoon was spent accordingly, with you helping her work through her assignments while she earnestly attempts to annoy you at every second she gets. The warning is all but just a forgotten memory. From leaning her head onto your shoulder to holding your hands out of nowhere, it’s as if she’s testing every single fiber of your being and trying to discern how far she can push the boundaries of your complex relationship.

You take off your eyeglasses and lean back on your chair, rubbing your tired eyes gently after staring at a computer screen for hours. Hyeju is equally as exhausted, her head slouched over your study table. You divert your attention towards the window, astounded at how the darkness has already completely engulfed the skies of the city. A quick glance at the bedside alarm clock confirms your observations.

“Holy crap, it’s 6 already. You wanna order something to eat?“

“Huh? Oh shit.“ She lifts her head off of the desk and scans her surroundings much like you did. “Damn it’s already late, no wonder I’m hungry.” She ties up her hair into a ponytail using a scrunchie she pulled out of her wrist, loose strands of hair hanging freely on the side.

“What do you wanna eat? Chinese? Italian?” You pull out your phone from your pocket and start scrolling through the saved numbers of restaurants nearby.

“Kinda craving jjajangmyeon, unless you had something else in mind?” She puffs her cheeks out of boredom and the sudden urge to just pinch them creeps in.

You nod in affirmation as you press the number of the Korean restaurant. “Jjajangmyeon it is.”

Thank the heavens for the Korean food delivery system because it only took 30 minutes for the food to arrive after placing the order, sparing you and Hyeju from suffering from hunger any longer. After giving the delivery guy a tip, you trudge towards the dining table where Hyeju is already downing shots of soju.

You take the two bowls of jjajangmyeon out of the plastic bag along with the chopsticks. “Eat something first, idiot. Basic drinking rule.”

“That’s the point, dummy. I just wanna get drunk quickly so I can get rid of all this damn stress.” You hand her a pair of chopsticks and she breaks it in two, immediately digging in on the bowl of jjajangmyeon.

“Why have you been so stressed out lately, anyways? I thought everything was going smoothly.” It was now your turn to take a shot of soju, the bittersweet taste leaving a mild burning feeling in your throat.

She grabs the bottle and pours another shot for you. “Well my parents still want me to go to art school even though I’ve told them a thousand fucking times that I don’t want to.”

You begin to dig into your own bowl of jjajangmyeon. “That’s still a thing? I thought you threatened to drop out of college?”

“I tried. But then they threatened to take away my car.” A somber chuckle escapes her mouth, “I shouldn’t have let them co-signed when I bought it so I wouldn’t be having this problem.”

“I mean if it helps, you can always carpool with me. I don’t mind driving an extra 10 miles to pick you up.” You shrug, “We both have class at the same time anyway so that wouldn’t be a problem.”

She raises an amused eyebrow at you, “You’re gonna do that for me? Since when did you become such a gentleman?” A flustered expression spreads across her face but she tries to keep her composure. “I couldn’t even get you to drive me to my dentist appointment when I didn’t have a car.”

“Look, I’m just doing my job as your best friend ok?” You give her a sincere look, hoping your words could convey how much she truly means to you as a friend. Perhaps, even more than that. Unbeknownst to you, her heart sinks at your words. For a moment, she hoped that it was indeed even more than that. Maybe she’ll have to try just a bit harder.

Hyeju rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath, “You’re so frustrating to talk to sometimes, you know that?” She proceeds to take multiple shots of soju in rapid succession, taking you by surprise. Some of the alcoholic substance spills out of the side of her mouth, forcing her to wipe it using the sleeves of her hoodie. What’s gotten into her?

“H-Hey Hyeju slow down! That’s enou-.” Before you know it, Hyeju’s already straddling your lap with her face leaning dangerously close to yours. The close proximity allows you to smell the scent of soju lingering in her mouth.

“You annoying bastard.” She doesn’t give you the opportunity to respond as she grabs both sides of your face and pulls you in for a heated kiss. This catches you off guard but you respond nonetheless by encircling your arms around her waist. With a sudden burst of strength, you stand up from the chair which forces her to wrap her legs around you. The countless hours you’ve spent in the gym comes into play as you easily carry her towards your couch.

This isn’t your first rodeo with Hyeju but you always savor the moment your lips clash with hers. You will never get tired of the way her body molds perfectly with yours as you pin her on the coffee-stained couch. Or the way her face contorts in pleasure as your hands explore her body, memorizing all of her curves and imperfections. Your sober self would not dare wander into uncharted territories but the soju gives you an almost superhero-like transformation, all of your worries and doubts floating away in the cosmos as if their existence is a ruse.

You lift a hand to caress her cheek gently, pushing your tongue deeper into her mouth as your other hand slips underneath her hoodie. This action elicits a soft moan from Hyeju as your cold fingers make contact with her smooth skin. Feeling more daring, you grab the hem of her hoodie and slide it up but before you can expose any more skin you feel her hands stopping you.

“What’s wrong, Hye?” She gazes at you with half-lidded eyes and bated breath, her cheeks now turning into a light shade of red. You’re in a similar state of disarray, a tent forming on your sweatpants as you attempt to keep your alcohol-fueled lust from sending you to overdrive.

“I-I have to go. Thanks for helping me! I owe you one, chief.” Hyeju promptly pushes you off of her as she gets off the couch. She then proceeds to grab her backpack before making a sudden exit out of your apartment.

“Hyeju, wait-”

You reach your hand out to try to stop her but it was all in vain. The door slams shut, a gust of wind leaving its wake. Everything feels like a blur, one blink and the entire ordeal is over. It takes you a few seconds to process everything that has transpired and then the gravity of the situation hits you all at once, leaving you dumbfounded. The realization that you might have potentially destroyed years worth of friendship suddenly dawns on you.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

What have you done? -------------------------

“How can one man be so fucking dumb and oblivious? I’ve literally given him every single hint possible.” Hyeju whines, burying her face deep into a pillow. An “emergency meeting” in her apartment was called after she inadvertently left you hanging in the middle of a steamy makeout session two weeks ago. That also marks the last time you two had any form of communication.

“Language, Hyeju!” The oldest in the friend group, Ha Sooyoung, throws a pillow at her. This results in her whining even more as she starts to kick her feet up in the air.

Her friends look at her in both amusement and pity. For them, nothing is better than seeing a lovestruck Hyeju. Over the years, they’ve witnessed her woeful struggles in trying to win you over. Movie nights, game nights, camping trips, midnight drives; you name it, she’s done it. Unfortunately for her, you are too insecure and self-conscious to notice that your feelings are reciprocated.

“Beats me. You’ve known him longer than any of us so you should have the answer. He’s your best friend after all.” One of her friends, Park Chaewon, states matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, why did you leave his apartment that night anyways? So much for always complaining about how he hasn’t made a move on you yet.” Another one of her friends, Kim Jiwoo, chimes in.

A pout begins to form on her face; guilt settling in as she realizes that you’re probably suffering as much as she is–especially since she left you completely in the dark. “I-I don’t know, I got nervous okay? He was just so unusually sweet that night and I didn’t know how to react.”

“Well have you considered the possibility that he may like you back? There’s no way he doesn’t feel anything every time you two make out.”

“Ha ha. Very funny.” Hyeju scoffs, but the heat rising up to her round cheeks tells a completely different story. She would be lying if she said that she didn’t think about the possibility of that happening at least once.

“Whatever the case may be, you better talk to him soon. You can’t keep ghosting him. Poor guy is probably losing his mind as we speak.”

“How about you just confess to him?” Sooyoung interjects, her remark causing the other two women to snicker.

Hyeju shakes her head furiously at the absurdity of the proposal. “No, are you crazy?! I don’t wanna ruin what we have….even if he’s such a frustrating asshole to deal with.” As much as she’s fallen head over heels for you, losing you as a friend would be the worst thing in the world for her.

“And then what? Have the same problem again weeks, months, or maybe even years later? If you like him then you should ask him out. Fix this problem once and for all.” Everyone nods in agreement with Jiwoo, except for the party directly involved. She knows her friends are right; she has to deal with this problem before it worsens and becomes irreparable.

Silence engulfs her living room for a few minutes as she carefully considers the proposition, “Ok fine, what do you guys have in mind?”

A menacing smile appears on Sooyoung’s face. “Well, my birthday party is coming up in a few weeks…” --------------------

You despise the idea of birthday parties. The process of dressing up for the occasion and choosing a gift for the celebrant seem cumbersome to you. Having an introverted personality certainly doesn’t help your case; you would much rather stay in your apartment playing video games with Hyeju all night as she desperately attempts to beat you in Smash Bros.

Right. Hyeju. A month has passed since that fateful night and Hyeju has decided to completely shut you off. No phone calls. No texts. Nothing. You don’t even see her in your lectures anymore. It’s as if her existence was just a figment of your imagination. To say that each passing day has been a living hell is an understatement. You might as well be exiled to Tartarus–that would be a much better alternative to the silent treatment your best friend is giving you.

But enough complaints for the meantime, you are here to celebrate your friend’s birthday and you aren’t going to let your quarter-life crisis ruin it. Well, you’ll try at the very least. Now you’ll just have to take on the task of making up an excuse for Hyeju’s absence.

With heavy footsteps you get out of your car with a gift bag in hand. You check your outfit one last time using the window on the driver’s side before making your way to the venue–a ballroom situated inside a fancy hotel in downtown Seoul. Being a chaebol surely has its benefits. Suddenly, your midsize sedan looks out of place amongst the Mercedes, Bentleys, and Aston Martins parked in the vicinity.

After a quick showing of your invitation, a butler begins to escort you to the ballroom. “Good evening, sir. Miss Ha is waiting for you inside the ballroom.”

The venue was as grandiose as you’d expect–voluminous chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, intricate flower arrangements adorning the roundtables, the whole nine yards. Wow, her parents really went all out for her birthday. The birthday girl approaches you with a smile and a wave. “Hey there, chief!”

You respond with a wave of your own as you hand her the gift bag. “Happy birthday, Sooyoung. Or Miss Ha I should say?” A teasing smile spreads across your face.

“Stop that! I’ve had like twenty different people call me that already.” She punches you lightly on the shoulder, cheeks tinted red. “You look good by the way. And- Oh, where’s Hyeju?” She stands on the tip of her toes to look behind you.

You scratch your head in nervousness and embarrassment, “Uh, she had an emergency so she won’t be able to make it tonight.”

She gives you a puzzled look, although deep down inside she’s struggling to prevent herself from bursting into laughter. Only if you knew what Hyeju and her friends had in store for you. “Huh, that’s weird. She accepted the invitation and said that she’ll be bringing someone so I thought it was you.”

Someone? Your brain begins to race, “Did she tell you who that person is?”

“No, she didn’t specify so I assumed it was you since you’re always glued to each other.” She nods, occasionally turning her attention towards the guests arriving one by one and giving them a warm greeting.

The ground beneath you might as well eat you alive with the way you’re frozen in place. Who the hell is she bringing to this party? Crap, here comes the spiral once again. You resent how your brain can descend quickly into assuming the worst. A more logical explanation would be that she’s bringing another friend but you quickly latch on to the idea that she might have gotten herself a boyfriend.

But why should you care in the first place? She’s just your best friend. She can date whoever she wants.

Sooyoung smirks as she sees the dejected state that you’re in. Everything is going according to plan so far. “You know what? That’s fine, no worries!” She reaches over to give you a pat on the shoulder, giving you a smile so reassuring that your concerns almost dissipate into thin air.

“Things happen. Just enjoy the night, ok? I’ll call her.” She gives you a wave again, this time to say goodbye before walking away.

Jiwoo and Chaewon are the next ones to approach you. They both flash you a wide smile–which is expected of Jiwoo since she’s a walking ball of sunshine but seeing Chaewon in such a joyous mood surprises you. Have they started drinking already?

You hold back the urge to ask about Hyeju. These two might be her closest friends but you respect her privacy so you chose not to investigate, even if it’s slowly killing you inside, “What’s up guys? Haven’t seen you two in a long time.”

“Doing well! Midterms kicked our butts but it is what it is.” Jiwoo shrugs nonchalantly, “How about you? I heard about you and Hy-.” You miss the slight elbow Chaewon gives the older woman.

“I mean, I heard Hyeju is bringing someone else tonight? What’s that all about?” She feigns a confused expression.

You struggle to contain the rage in your voice.“Yeah, she said she had an emergency. But I guess everything is fine.” What a bullshit excuse.

Much like Sooyoung, they both give you a pat on the shoulder. “She’ll be fine! She didn’t become the soccer captain in middle school for nothing! Right, Chaewon?” The blonde woman nods her head.

“Right! So cheer up, we’re here to celebrate!” Chaewon stops a waiter and takes a glass of champagne before handing it to you; she then takes two more glasses and hands one to Jiwoo.

“Bottoms up! We’re already two glasses in.” Yeah, that checks out.

Usually you would indulge in the scent of such an expensive alcohol before ingesting it but you just want to forget about everything even for just one night. Fuck it. As a result, you ill-advisedly chug the champagne as if it’s just some cheap beer you bought at a convenience store. You were lucky none of it spilled onto your suit jacket.

The two women in front of you look at you in shock and awe. “Hyeju really broke this man.” Chaewon leans in to whisper to Jiwoo, who nods her head in agreement. Once your glass is empty, they each grab one of your arms and drag you across the ballroom towards an empty round table in the corner before you can get the chance to complain.

“Hurry, let’s get seated! Food is gonna be served soon. I heard steak is on the menu.”

You spent this time catching up with the two women, talking about everything from how their college experience is going so far to how Chaewon almost burned down their shared apartment by cooking chicken nuggets. The champagne is slowly starting to work its magic on you because for the first time in a long time, you forget about Hyeju. You forget about the pain you’ve had to endure in the past month thanks to her.

“Oh, they’re here!”

Unfortunately the bliss is short-lived because Jiwoo and Chaewon abruptly get up from their seats and when you turn around, you see them approaching an extremely familiar woman–too familiar for your liking. Son Hyeju. But it’s not just her, she’s escorted by an unfamiliar man. And just like that, your worst nightmare has come to life. The sinking feeling in your stomach makes its presence known.

Your world crumbles. You feel like you’ve just lost everything. That might have to do with the fact that Hyeju is your everything. It was only in her absence that you realize how much of your life she encompasses. From the weird, random cute noises that she makes to her sudden displays of aegyo, she was the anchor that kept you from floating away into the abyss. The void that she left is too enormous to fill and you fear that you’re going to spend the rest of your life trying to put the pieces back together. Maybe you never will.

She makes brief eye contact with you and for a split second you get the urge to run up to her and give her a tight hug. You want to ask her where she’s been, how she’s doing, if she’s eating properly. But you were thankfully sane enough not to follow through–even with the copious amount of alcohol in your system. She’s already with someone else and you’re going to have to accept that. The last thing you want is to create commotion at your friend’s birthday party.

A small part of you is losing your mind over how good she looks in that dress, how it accentuates her curves so well, how her slightly curled hair falls on her shoulders, how she still manages to look stunning even with minimal makeup. But a larger part of you is irate at the fact that it’s not your arms wrapped around her waist, that it’s not you she’s flashing that bright, gummy smile at, that she ignored you for a whole month and showed up to this party with someone else.

Again, why do you care so much? You’re just her best friend.

What were you to her, exactly? Were you truly just her best friend? A best friend who she frequently pushed to the limits with her unfathomable actions? Or did she actually have feelings for you and fate’s cruel hands derailed the possibility of anything ever materializing? Were you perhaps blinded by your insecurities and she really only had eyes for you all along? Fuck, maybe you should have told her how much she meant to you before you ran out of time. Maybe you should have plucked up the courage. Maybe you shouldn’t have spent too much time pondering about the “what-ifs.”

After a few minutes of small talk, Jiwoo and Chaewon bid the couple farewell before walking back to your table, “You didn’t say hi to Hyeju?”

“Nah, it looks like she was with her boyfriend. It would be rude of me to interrupt.” You stop a waiter to grab another glass of champagne, consuming it pretty much the same way you did the first one.

“Boyfriend? No, she told us that they’re just good friends. Apparently he’s some hotshot with his own tech startup.”

And I’m just a loser who can barely pay his bills. Great.

The anger inside you increases every time you look at Hyeju and her date; it didn’t help that they were only a couple of tables away from where you were sitting so you got a front row seat of their public display of affection. What threw you off was how she would occasionally give you glances as if she was deliberately trying to show you how much she’s enjoying his company. Ok? I don’t give a fuck. You do, otherwise you wouldn’t be holding the champagne glass so tightly it could shatter to pieces at any given moment.

Dinner was served but you’ve lost your appetite. Not even the filet mignon they served for the main course or the delicious molten lava cake for dessert could entice you into eating. You just wanted to leave this party as soon as possible. What you did consume however was more champagne. By the fourth glass, Jiwoo and Chaewon were already telling you to slow down. Of course you didn’t heed their advice; you could handle your alcohol–well that’s what you think at least.

Screw this. Screw everything. You’ve decided that you’ve seen enough. You get up from your seat–albeit too swiftly in your drunken state which almost causes you to fall over. Hyeju stands up out of worry, her head turning in your direction so quickly it might snap. She knows more than anyone how rowdy you can get under the influence. Your two friends tried to help you regain your balance but you brushed them off as you insisted that you were fine–even though walking in a straightforward manner proved to be a grueling affair.

Hyeju just shakes her head, she also knows how extremely stubborn you can be. “Thanks for tonight, I gotta go before this idiot makes a fool of himself.” She finishes her glass of champagne–also her fourth one–before grabbing her clutch purse, bidding farewell to her “date” for the night.

“H-Hyeju?” You stumble forward but she fortunately arrives in time to catch you.

“Tsk. Why drink so much champagne when you’re such a lightweight.” She slings your left arm around her shoulder while she tries to support you by the waist.

“I’m not a lightweight! I’m completely fineshhhhh.” Your flushed cheeks and slurred speech says otherwise.

“Cute” should not be the first word that pops up in someone’s head when they see a wasted twenty year old at a party and yet here’s your best friend grinning ear to ear. “I missed you, you idiot.”

Sooyoung arrives at the scene, a smile adorning her face. This play is about to reach its final act. “Take him outside. I’ll call a taxi.” Hyeju nods at the instruction as she begins to head towards the lobby—a daunting task given that she’s dragging along 150 pounds of dead weight.

“Oh and before you go, make sure he doesn’t pull out.”

“Unnie!” --------------------

The ride back to your apartment was eerily silent, tension so thick you can cut through it with a knife. You were trying to nurse yourself back to sobriety as you took small, occasional sips of water to slowly flush out the alcohol. Hyeju, on the other hand, is a nervous wreck. This was finally her chance to clear the air, to explain why she made you suffer for the past month, to finally set things straight. This was finally her chance to tell you that you were more than just a best friend to her.

But how could she say anything when you’re fuming with so much anger that you refuse to even look at her? You were slowly starting to sober up but it just made you even more pissed at everything that had transpired tonight. You wanted to forget everything but with Hyeju by your side, the sobering reality that you will be nothing more than just a friend to her hits you like a wrecking ball.

Much to her chagrin, you were the one to break the silence, “What happened to that motherfucker? Don’t tell me you ditched his ass.”

“I told him to go home. I wanted to make sure you made it back to your apartment safely.” Hyeju murmurs, but still loud enough for you to hear.

You scoff, “Oh, so you care about me again? After not saying shit for the past month, you’re suddenly gonna walk back into my life as if nothing happened?”

“Look, I can explain-”

“I don’t wanna hear it. Just drop me off and you can go back with that guy. I don’t deserve you anyway, I’m just a low-life who can’t get his shit together.”

Hyeju was rendered speechless for the remainder of the taxi ride. She had a whole explanation prepared but seeing you so broken and distraught indicated that she should save it for later. She didn’t want the taxi driver to see you two get into an argument. She needed you to calm down first before she could wholeheartedly disclose everything that’s been bothering her.

The walk back to your apartment was anything but a breeze as walking even for just a few feet proved to be an uphill battle for you.You refused her assistance but she was just as stubborn as you–following you all the way home. Once you entered your apartment, you slammed the door shut and the anger that you’ve been withholding since the start of this night finally exploded.

“What exactly am I to you?”

“What the hell are you blabbering about, idiot? You’re my childhood best friend of course!” Hyeju was also pretty pissed at this point, you haven’t given her the chance to speak her side at all. She is not a patient woman and you should know that out of all people.

“Then why the fuck do you keep treating me as if I’m not?” Smoke might as well be coming out of your ears; your voice so firm and vociferous that it resonates throughout the living room. “The holding hands, making out, all of that skinship crap. What am I to you exactly?”

“You’re shit-faced, dude. Get a fucking grip.” She wraps an arm around your waist in an attempt to assist you towards your coffee-stained couch but you lightly shove her away.

“N-No, you don’t understand! Do you know how much it ate me up inside seeing you flirt with that motherfucker?”

“You fucking moron.”

“What did you just say?”

“Don’t you get it? I like you, you fucking idiot! Why do you think I’m practically throwing myself at you all these years?” Her preposterous statement bewilders you–a shocked expression painting your drunken face. Is your mind playing games with you?

You can’t deny how it triggers your Ferrari heart, however. And with alcohol in the mix, it leads you to think that maybe, just maybe, she’s telling the truth. “I don’t have time for your games, Hye. If you’re just gonna keep bullshitting me then you can leave. Your man is probably already waiting for you.”

Her cheeks are already blistering red at this point, “H-He’s just a friend, ok? The whole thing was a setup. I was flirting with him on purpose because I didn’t know how else I could get through your thick skull that I like you.”

“Why did you leave my apartment that night then? Why did you have to make me suffer for a month?”

“Because I was afraid. It was my first time seeing you take the initiative and I didn’t know what to do.” She takes a deep breath as she tries to keep her emotions in check; tears already rolling down her cheeks. “You’re so important to me that I didn’t know what it could lead to if we take our relationship further. I’m sorry for everything, I really am.”

“But, why me? You deserve someone better. ” Your voice starts to crack, tears starting to fall down your face as well. Seeing Hyeju cry–which only happens once in a blue moon–is your biggest trigger. “I have nothing to provide you. I’m not the tallest nor the most handsome. I’m broke-”

She breaks your tangential rant with a kiss, all of her emotions pouring out at once. The tears keep falling like a waterfall but this time it’s accompanied with elation. Each swipe of her tongue across your lips brings you closer and closer to nirvana. The other side of the hill is finally within sight, the boulder comes tumbling down as you finally exterminate your doubts and insecurities.

“Stop saying I deserve someone better, you idiot.” She gives you a light flick on the forehead, “I couldn’t have asked for a better person to be by my side all these years and my heart belongs to you and you only.”

You can’t help but laugh, Hyeju truly is an enigma. But that also just makes her even more attractive in your eyes. “You really have a way of saying things, don’t you?”

“Yes, and I know you love me because of it. Now shut up and kiss me again.”

Friendship be damned. You wanted her. No, you needed her. You hastily dive in to seal her triangular shaped lips with yours, this time engaging in a much more proper kiss. The taste of champagne lingering in her mouth mixes with the lipstick, forming a wonderful concoction not even the most skillful bartender in the world could envision. Minutes past and the lack of oxygen forces the both of you to pull away from the kiss and your eyes meet Hyeju’s; the lust-filled, wolf-like eyes of your best friend–now lover–telling you more than any word in the dictionary could.

She takes you by the hand and leads you to your bedroom, each step lasting an eternity. The agony ends as she shuts the door and you both pursue the mutual goal of reaching a state of undress. Gone are the pleasantries, you take off your suit jacket and throw it somewhere in the room. Hyeju removes your tie and unbuttons your dress shirt while you work on removing her dress. Your hands reach around her back and you surprisingly find the pesky zipper of her dress with ease, sliding it down forcefully until it reaches the edge.

“Slow down, you horny idiot! I’m not going anywhere.”

“This is what happens when you’ve blue-balled me for years.”

Her dress cascades down her body, leaving her in a set of black lace lingerie and underwear. The lust inside you grows tenfold at the sight of Hyeju, her body seemingly sculpted by Aphrodite herself. You were aware of how physically fit she is due to her frequent visits at the gym along with your regular makeout sessions but not even your most vivid imaginations could parallel witnessing the perfection in front of you.

“Lace? I never knew you were that type of woman.” You smirk.

A tint of red appears on her face at your remark. “S-Shut up! The unnies told me to wear this, ok? They said it will help you get in the mood.”

The unnies?! “Wait, the other girls know about this as well?”

Before you can inquire any further, Hyeju shuts you up with an aggressive kiss hoping that you’d forget what she just said. The intensity results in the both of you crashing onto the bed, with her landing top of you. Tongues fight for dominance as her busy hands travel down your well defined upper body before reaching their final destination, your pants. No motion is wasted as she turns her attention to unbuckling your belt, albeit struggling mightily–emitting a chuckle out of you.

Her next target is your dress pants, which does nothing to hide your burning desire for her. Thankfully, that article of clothing is removed with relative ease as it joins the pile on the floor. Now, the only thing that’s preventing you from reaching a complete state of undress are your boxers, which have already been stained with precum. Her fingers tug on the waistband but before she can expose your throbbing length, you grab her by the waist and flip her over.

“It’s my turn now.”

Your lust ladened voice surprises you, highlighting how much you’re yearning for the woman currently laying on your bed. You thought about capturing her lips once more but instead you opt for her neck, which emits a moan from her as you leave a dark purple mark. Hyeju is finally yours and you are going to let the whole damn world know about it. You move further down to her collarbones and continue leaving marks, each one darker than the previous.

You lean back with a proud smile, admiring your masterpiece. “Fuck, I want you so bad.” She doesn’t respond but her face explodes into a supernova of emotion; her face is flushed red and you don’t know if it’s because of the alcohol or everything that has transpired but she looks adorable all the same in your eyes.

You reach your arms around her back once more, but this time to unclasp her bra. Hyeju laughs as you struggle to unhook the flimsy piece of clothing; now you understand her struggle with your belt moments earlier. Heat rises up to your ears but she mercifully saves you from further embarrassment by stepping in to assist you, letting the straps fall from her shoulders.

Your mouth waters as her generously sized breasts reveal themselves to you, nipples already stiff from the combination of the cold air in your apartment and her unrelenting desire for you. You didn’t waste anymore time as you leaned in and latched your lips on her left breast, using your free hand to massage the other one. Hyeju leans her head back in pleasure, her hands raking through your hair as a way of informing you of the overwhelming pleasure you’re giving her.

“R-Right there, shit.”

You switch back and forth between the two breasts, giving both equal attention as your tongue swirls around her nipples. Your hands aren’t laying idle, however, as they wander around her tight stomach before making their way towards her thighs–undoubtedly your favorite part of her body. Your hand creeps up to her panties and she’s about as aroused as you imagined, her slick leaving your fingers damp. She gasps at the touch, her sensitivity reaching near astronomical levels.

You look up at her and she gives you the green light to continue. You pull her lace underwear down her legs and remove it, revealing her clean shaven pussy. You detach your lips from her breast to drink in the sight of her bare naked form in front of you. Her inner thighs are already wet with her essence as she spreads them wide so you can get a full view of her. Your cock hardens even more at the sight of her waiting to be tasted and devoured. She really prepared for tonight.

You’re practically drooling but you’re going to have to save the foreplay for a later date because your length is straining against your boxer so much that it’s starting to become painful. You join her in becoming bare naked as you make quick work of removing your remaining piece of clothing, your length standing tall and proud. Hyeju’s eyes widen at the sight, mouth agape at the sheer size of your fully erect cock. “Holy shit…” She sits up and grabs your shaft, pumping it slowly–causing even more of your precum to drip all over your sheets.

“Hye, fuck that’s so good.” She smirks at the sight of you helpless under her touch, reduced to moaning and making incoherent sounds. Not even all of the times you’ve masturbated thinking of her are able to mirror how her soft and dainty hands can rapidly build up the familiar tension in your stomach. Your reactions serve as an encouragement for her to pump your shaft faster and harder and you’re going to have to physically stop her before you end up exploding all over her hands.

“S-Stop, I don’t wanna cum yet.” Your chest heaves sporadically as you try to recollect your breath. The aftermath of your first ever handjob leaves you dazed as your brain tries to process the euphoria. To show your gratitude, you engage in another liplock with Hyeju. You place a hand on the back of her head as you lay her down on the bed softly, hovering on top of her.

In the heat of the moment, you utter the words you’d never thought would come out of your mouth, “God, I love you so much Son Hyeju.”

Her face instantly reacts to your sudden profession of love; it’s apparent that she didn’t expect you to say those words either but her heart is filled to the brim with joy as her feelings towards you have finally been validated. And for just a second, you stare at each other’s eyes with love instead of lust. “I love you too, you idiot.”

The lust makes its presence known again however, as you align your cock with her pussy. You take both of her hands and clasp them with yours as you proceed to insert yourself into her inch-by-inch, carefully studying her reactions to make sure she’s comfortable. A throaty moan escapes her mouth as you bottom out and finally push your entire length into her. The suffocating heat of her walls forces you to bury your face on the crook of her neck.

“S-Shit. You’re so fucking tight, Hye.”

Her brain tries and fails to formulate a response under such immense pleasure. But her high-pitched moans and the way her hands grip the bedsheets is enough of an indication of how good you’re making her feel. A few more slow and steady thrusts and you can feel your length sliding in and out of her with ease thanks to how wet she is. On a particular thrust, she moans louder than ever and her nails dig deep into your shoulder.

“Oh fuck, I’m sorry. Was I too rough?” You pull out quickly, panicking because you thought you’ve hurt her but instead she wraps her arms around your neck and her legs around her waist– leaving no inch of space between the two of you. You quickly come to the realization that you have discovered the fabled g-spot.

“No! Just keep moving, damn it!” You re-insert your length inside her again, hellbent on hitting that spot with every long and deep thrust. Much like you earlier, she’s been reduced to moaning and whimpering as her nails leave scratches all over your back and shoulders. Her majestic moans flow right through your ears along with the wet slapping of the skin–forming a beautiful symphony that can only be composed by two people deeply in love with each other.

“F-Fuck, you’re so fucking deep! Fuck me hard just like that, please I’m so close.” You didn’t have to be told twice. Put a hold on the lovemaking, you take hold of her hips as you piston in and out of her with vigor and passion. She’s practically shouting your name along with a bunch of curse words at this point and you had to shut her up with a kiss lest you want to receive a plethora of noise complaints from your neighbors tomorrow morning.

Ironically, she’s silent as she reaches her orgasm–her mouth hanging open but no sound comes out. Her eyes are shut tight as her limbs tense up around you. Her walls are squeezing your cock so tightly that you almost reached your own peak. You leave kisses along her jaw and down to her neck as she comes down from the blistering high.

A few minutes passed before she finally calmed down, looking at you with glazed eyes. You brush loose strands of her aside as you give her a peck on the forehead. “Did you also..?”

“Not yet.”

“Let me return the favor, how do you want me?”

“Like this.”

With your cock still deep inside her pussy, you pull her up so that she’s straddling you. She quickly picks up the cue as she wraps her arms around your neck and begins bouncing up and down your length. You respond by wrapping your arms around her waist as you thrust upwards, trying to match her pace. Moans begin to fill the room once more and this time you join her in the symphony as you can feel yourself getting closer and closer to the promised land.

You dive down on her enticing breasts once again as they move hypnotizingly with each thrust. They might just be your favorite part of her body after all. Due to how sensitive she is, Hyeju reaches her second orgasm of the night; her juices flowing onto your thighs and onto the bed sheets. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t take too long for the familiar tension to build up in your stomach to make its presence known. You were surprised that you even managed to endure for this long.

“Hyeju, I’m gonna cum.”

“I-Inside.”

“H-Hyeju, are you su-”

“Yes! Just breed me, you fucking idiot!”

“Fuck!”

The tension finally snaps, the symphony reaching its crescendo as you empty ropes and ropes of semen into her womb. The intensity of your orgasm is enough for you to have an out-of-body experience, your vision going white as you fill her to the brim–painting her walls white with all of your seed.

She detaches her body from yours and gets up, the copious amount of semen that you released inside her dripping down her thighs. Burn the image in your head, the sight of Hyeju post-sex is ethereal and you wouldn’t mind seeing it every night. You head towards the top of the bed and she follows you.

She then scoots closer to you and rests her head on your chest, tracing circles on your pecs absentmindedly. Silence fills the room, but it’s a comfortable and peaceful one. You leave small, chaste kisses on the crown of her head as you pull the blanket towards the two of you. Your heart swells with happiness as Hyeju is finally in your arms.

“So what am I to you now?”

Hyeju looks at you with that bright, gummy smile again; and after all these years, you finally hear the words you’ve been waiting for.

“My boyfriend.”

#kpop smut #male reader #kpop fanfic #reader insert #smut #loona smut #olivia hye smut

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