took some afk and did an overnight trip to Philly and it Was Good

2023 post

i'm struggling through this with a kind of broken keyboard (sticky M U J keys) so bear with me!

because the last month of this year has been such a fucking nightmare (that i'll be working to remove myself from come tuesday) i realized that the good things that happened this year kind of escaped me.

cause--this year was good, in ways that as always with my life cannot be seen by the outside world. it was a messy year but some things changed that i still haven't fully made sense of.

-this year i met so many cool people on here, or got closer to some other people who i'd known before. if "meeting cool people on tumblr" was a skill you could put on your resume, i would definitely feel qualified to put it on my resume, but this year i feel like i just got acquainted with a really high quality group of people (all who support different teams, too!) and that's been so much fun and rewarding as well. i always feel a bit guarded telling people that i care about them but...i do. a lot!

-this june i went on a #YOLO trip to the netherlands that i could not afford but even now when i see my charming credit card debt i have to say i have No Regerts. i got to meet two of these tumblr friends who i've been close to for long enough that they've transcended "internet friend" for me and feel like Friends I've Known a Long Time. we had such a comfortable and fun time travelling together, to a place i've wanted to visit since i was young, and the benefit of meeting Tumblr Friends in real life is that you can make sure everyone's brain needs are taken care of! together we went to see italy beat NL (feat. virg van d slur in the flesh) in the stadium and then watched croatia lose to spain in the basement of a sports bar in utrecht and they got to see that it's 100% true that i cry during the croatian national anthem before the game 😂 i got to do so many bucket list things--visit the rijksmuseum, go solo to delft and see all the vermeer places and settings of my favorite book, girl with a pearl earring (and accidentally wander into a government building looking for a church, whoops), and see the girl with a pearl earring herself for the second time, but this time at her home in the mauritshuis. also i took a lot of fun trains and like every time i go from american Big Corn Syrup and Weird Additives food to europe, everything i ate was good as fuck. and i slept in a pod for two nights! i have the opposite of claustrophobia (claustro...philia? lol) so that slapped. so great, and getting to meet up with friends who live on the other side of an ocean is so fucking special.

-LAMPARDVERSE! nuff said, but it's been an absolute blast getting to co-create it and research all the lore. this is just the beginning, long may it live!!! also thanks to you all for putting up with me blasting a white english chelsea man on your dashes. it will happen again.

-irl stuff...the most unexpected. this year i was able to comfortably become friendly with people who are quite different from me. i was confident in the parts of my personality that are Different--i had fun owning it, and i saw that people really like that person. the craziest thing was that a huge obstacle in my path was that cptsd causes me to feel physically uncomfortable around people, even people i like, aside from emotional discomfort, but the thing is when your body is getting physical danger signals they're extremely difficult to "ignore" (for a reason!) or put aside to focus on the mental stuff.

this year i just went for it--went through months of extremely draining and uncomfortable "exposure therapy" by way of forcing myself to try to stay present in conversations with people i knew i liked, even if the conversations/their presence freaked me out and drained me. (i'm not some magical uwu inspiration/good luck miracle, for anyone who might be in this situation and feel envious--i've been in intense therapy since 2013, do a lot of my own mental work in between, and take two different medications. it took me 10 years to get there! i say this cause there is no shame in the hard work.) importantly, with the people i felt i trusted enough and whose opinion of me i valued enough for them to know the truth, i just told them what was going on with me. not in any graphic detail or TMI, but i told them one of the things that has a big impact on how i present to the outside world (i suffer from trauma), what this trauma suffering looks like to the outsider (sometimes i stop talking altogether in a conversation, and not just that, but i zone out so hard that it looks like i'm not even paying attention, even though sometimes i still am), and what it means about how i feel about them/how they should take it (it means nothing at all, so please please don't take it personally)

they took this level of openness and honesty very well, and i found that telling them these limitations of mine helped to set me free. not living with the lifetime fear of being "found out," not having to worry while i was having a Trauma Moment that people were thinking badly of me and that it was severely impacting my socialization--all of this suddenly helped me start staying in the present while talking to people and while people were talking to me. and not just stay in the present but--ENJOY it. get something out of it. and, to show my work-friends that even though i have a lot of things not in common with them--that that's cool, and we still have plenty of things we do have in common

the kindness people have shown me this year after Seeing Me and getting to know me was unreal. i don't know how to process it. (this applies to you guys on tumblr too!). so many things have happened this fall and so many things were said to me that i never, ever, EVER thought i would be able to experience. i hope this lasts and i hope i can build on this in the new year.

so yeah...this year was...something alright. i'm always an even age in an even year and the evens are never as good for me as the odds (other than like, age 14. that was a good time.) but let's hope for the best.

now, i hate new year's eve/day, so let's get this shit over with!

34

Went out with my roommates again, last night. Fish and chips. One of them left back home this morning. We don’t gel perfectly, but I do enjoy spending some of my free time with them. Otherwise, I can be found sitting alone in a café (like rn), knitting, or watching x-files. I like the pace of things here, but it doesn’t feel like Christmas and I am looking forward to spending the holiday with my family. Both girls were/are big travellers, and while they travel with their partners now, they used to do a lot of solo trips. I think I need to do that. I remember my dad asking me why I felt like I always had to wait for someone else to be available. Doesn’t help that my mother asked me the other month why I am bothering to save for a condo, when I am not even married. LOL. I really don’t need a lot of encouragement. One of my roommates had gone on work-away/farm stay trips in Europe, and I think that was all I needed to hear. I read about it on forums, but meeting someone irl with the experience is so much more validating. I think after I do my first USA contract, I will try to do a farm stay in the EU. I still plan to go on the japan trip with the girlies.

At times, I still feel like I lost two to three years of my early/mid-twenties to covid. Prime yolo times or whatever.

Time to LARP the life of 23-year-old me. Had 23-year-old me not been working full time in the covid unit, burning out before she ever had a chance.

Guess who's going camping...

Last night I didn't just book myself a weekend camping trip 3 hours away....

I booked this right in a weekend that's forecasted to be well over 100°F. Ugh wonderful.

But in another news... Im kind of excited. Kind of anxious and worry about what to pack.

Going to be bringing my dogs with me, so that'll be fun!

I also decided I wanted to buy a custom license plate. I know sometimes I think this is such a silly thing to do, especially with how much it costs. But eh. Whatever. YOLO, right?

So I got this bad boy! NTUR BOY. Aka, Nature Man! Lol

Green for nature, duh!

I kind of like it... like a lot. Lol.

And so yeah, I am excited.

I decided I'm gonna start buying more clothes for myself. More camping gear. Things for Kurtis. And honestly, do I need a newer car? I don't know. The idea of it, sounds flattering. Anything new any shiny does, right?

Anyways... I also want to start going to REI more and buying and expanding on my camping gear. I want to get use to cooking over fire and building them up. So we shall see.

Im excited to go on this solo trip, but anxious and nervous too. Especially as a trans man.

I need to start getting a little bit more fit too. My beer belly pouch aint that cute.

Watch "SOLO TRIP TO Bhubaneswar #yolo" on YouTube

Tips for Solo Traveller - Travel Video | Scoop Buddy

Traveling solo can be a bit challenging, but traveling solo as an introvert is no piece of cake and is far more difficult than your average solo trip. Let us begin by busting a myth – we humans thrive in company and introverts are no exception! Sure, solo travel and introverts complement each other in many ways. But where solo travel is an out-of-a-dream experience for some, it can also be a major nightmare for others. When you feel a little too lonely and find no one in sight to rely on, it could land you in unforeseen sticky situations. We understand how combating such situations can affect your introverted peace of mind. While there’s no particular fix to it, we’ve come up with distinct but super easy tips on solo travel for introverts. So, gear up your anti-social side and go YOLO on your first solo!

Mkay. #1

I feel like i’m deep into season one of my life right now, which is weird cause im 28. idk if it’s that it feels like season one or that I'm lying to myself so that way I can force some like dramatic finale and start off strong on season two. ANYWAY life has been giving like...filler episode lately and I hate that for me cause EW. that being said I honestly feel like I'm on the edge of some kind of like climax of something I can almost see something on the horizon. something that keeps me confused is wondering if I should start giving into my impassive choices ,quitting my job, starting a new one, going to New York for a bit, going to Sundance by myself. like the last time I made a huge jump in my life was moving to LA. even though I “planned” it out over a year it still was like a crack job of a plan ya know? and so I wonder what would happen if I just lived my life like that? I feel like all my LA friends kinda do that, and even though I'm not a follower! maybe I can be inspired to do the same...would it be more fun? would I be my true self? will I get discovered? but there is always the thought of where am I going to get the money for this? I’m like already broke....but...im sure I can be broke while in New York...or in a cabin in Salt Lake City . I feel like as I've gotten older I've either, gotten less bold or too responsible or both. I hate that. like I was suppose it to be in nyc tomorrow to see my friends band play a show there and I was going cause it was gonna be this whole like monumental thing for them and like legit almost everyone we know is gonna be there, but I was broke, and I wanted to go so bad that I sold my Starbuck stock. money that I've literally been sitting on for five years cause I couldn’t be bother to learn about stocks. I sold it. for a plane ticket. and not only did I get this money, but I also got paid after not working for a week thinking i’m gonna get like $50 bucks and get a check bigger than I expected which is great but....I like....dilly dally on finding a ticket...why? why?  I've bought plane tickets for trips in like 2 mins before why was I putting this off? maaaaybe because for the last like 5-6 months I’ve had my account go into the negatives a least three times EVERY month? or possibly because I've been so broke I legit couldn't pay for the bus fee to get to work. idk but I think deep in the back of my mind I wanted the tickets to go up and up so I could say “oh they got too expensive” like I wish I was there but I'm not to like torn up about it. also it kinda gives me the opportunity to go on the solo trip I wanted. but what if I save it? like I legit have had money all this month so what would happen if I hold onto it? like im a fun, cool, creative bitch but im tired of being broke dude....like this shit stop being inspiring after my first year here. and all I can think about is all the stuff I need for my acting career. new headshots, my actors access membership(that I haven’t had since my birthday in April) like I need that stuff too. part of me is like YOLO BITCH SPEND THAT SHIT!! and another is like sis get your headshots so you can win an Oscar. annnnyway im doing well and I hope you guys are too. :)

Solo and Yolo travel Sept 25th 2022

Maybe this is my official solo and yolo trip. Maybe second because I went alone also in my Emirates ID Fingerprint appointment but I rode a taxi roundtrip. Haha. But today, I choose to walk to challenge myself to find my way there. Of course, I also want to exercise, save money and familiarize my way so I can go back there next time easily 🙂

What a Sunday it is! I'm pretty tired but I survived. I will surely go back because I spent most of my time searching for the Al Mankhool Library. I found some books I randomly read and some good finds that I will surely get back to again. I also got a free arabic manga magazine. I also pampered myself with trying a new meal at Texas Chicken fastfood for the first time as I got disappointed with the cookie at Charley's instead of free fries and drinks. Also, I met two Pinoy strangers working at Macao Imperial who asked to share the table with me so I agreed because I am alone. Its view is looking at their store so I think they prefer to sit there. We had some small talk. Good thing is no one asked each other's name so we remain strangers. Haha. Younger folks, and I simply asked them where they are in Ph as we exchange our ages.

Prambanan is the largest Hindu temple in Indonesia and one of the biggest in south east Asia! Can you imagine how magnificent it is? And how incredible when there is a sunset? It’s breathtaking! #prambanan #indonesia #yogyakarta #jogya #travelguy #travel #trip #backpacker #traveler #instamoments #instagood #instatravel #instaphoto #throwback #igaddict #igdaily #igphoto #igtravel #goodvibes #asianguy #asian #guy #men #yolo #solo #temple #architecture (at Prambanan Tample)

Impulse booked a one night trip for my AFK this week specifically go to a nice vegan restaurant an Amtrak trip away

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I solo yoloed in the Wheel of Fortune gacha game and rolled a SSR Trip to Hawaii

(Unofficially) tagged by @incelhugochavez ;)

Name/nickname: my name is Anna but most people call me Anna Banana, it’s kinda annoying and corny but I learned to live with it

Gender: fem

Star sign: cancer

Height: 5”7 (1m71cm)

Time: 20:27

Birthday: july 7th

Favorite bands: my all time favorite band is Disturbed, I’m not exaggerating when I say I’m a raging, die-hard Disturbed fan

I also love Metallica, Korn, Slipknot, Type 0 Negative, Iron Maiden (saw them live once), Nightwish, Kamelot, Sabaton, Raubtier, Rammstein, OOMPH!, Eisbrecher, To/Die/For, Charon, Depeche Mode, Alice Cooper, Colonia (dance/pop group from Croatia, I’ve loved them ever since I was a kid), My Chemical Romance, Green Day, In Flames, Pendulum, The 69 Eyes and many more

Favorite solo artists: Enrique Iglesias, Sting, Rihanna, Ellie Goulding, Sean Paul, Ava Max, Sia, Arash, Maître Gims, Mohombi, Willy William, Max Barskih, David Carreira, Jason Derulo, Kartashow (Russian singer, I discovered this gem of a man in late 2019 and I loved him ever since), Daddy Yankee, Don Omar, Natti Natasha, Inna, Anitta, Maluma...

Song stuck in my head: Ley ne Zhaley by Max Barskih (idk how to type that song title in Ukrainian cyrillic so I’m giving you the romanized version lmao)

Last movie: the last movie i watched from start to finish was The Craft, a really fun horror movie

Last show: honestly don’t remember

When did I create this blog: summer of 2018, during the world cup

What do I post: football, memes, things that relate to me and some other random shit

Last thing googled: Is Woodsboro California a real place? (spoilers: it’s not)

Other blogs: i only have one other blog, it’s @nero-fxrte and that’s my main blog actually, I’ve had it since like 2014. Y’all can follow me there if you want to

Do i get asks: not really, wish i did. Ask me stuff guys, I’ll answer just about anything

Why i chose my url: because Gerard Piqué is iconique and iconique rhymes w his last name, need I say anything else?

Following: a little over 300

Followers: a little over 100

Average hours of sleep: 5 or 6, sometimes even less

Lucky number: 7

Instruments: can’t play anything but I really wanna learn the electric guitar

What am i wearing: black leggings(or tights as i call them), black socks and a black MCR the black parade t-shirt

Dream job: I wanna start a band and either sing or play guitar for that band but since I’m musically talentless that’s never gonna happen

Dream trip: Europe: Italy (I’ve been to Italy twice but i loved it there, I really wanna go again), France, Germany, Switzerland, Greece, Spain, Portugal, UK, Luxembourg, Estonia, Denmark, Finland, Sweden, Norway, Iceland, Faroe Islands, Greenland, Ukraine, Russia and Turkey

The Americas: USA (I really wanna visit NYC, LA, Chicago, Vegas, New Orleans, Miami, Atlanta...), Canada, Mexico, all of the Carribean, Costa Rica, El Salvador, Colombia, Peru, Brazil, Chile and Argentina

Africa: Morocco, Egypt, South Africa and Madagascar

Asia: Japan, South Korea and Thailand

I also want to visit Australia, New Zealand, The Maldives and Guam

Nationality: 90% Croatian and 10% Australian (yet I’ve never been there, makes no sense I know)

Favorite song: right now my 3 favorite songs are Let Me Love You by Mohombi, DJ Rebel and Shaggy, His Eyes by Pseudo Echo and Yolo by Maître Gims but ask me this question in two or three weeks and my answer will probably be different

Last book read: I’m currently reading a book called “horror stories for a good night” (ironic title I know) it’s basically a bunch of shorter horror stories in one book

Top three fictional universes: I’m a lover of horror movies so I can give you like a hundred horror universes I’d like to live in but the one I would absolutely LOVE to live in is the Scream universe because I wanna be like Sidney Prescott. She’s beautiful, badass, clever, a survivor...did I mention she’s beautiful because she’s really fucking stunning (like I have a massive gay crush on Neve Campbell)

Tagging: whoever wants to do this, you can do it and say I tagged you :)

RULES: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better

i was tagged by @transfob — hello there!! 😊 i had so much fun, thank you for tagging me! 💖 — aaaand i wouldn't know who to tag, pardon my shyness, but if any of my mutuals hasn't done this yet and is reading this, consider yourself tagged because i 100% want to know you, XOXO. 😉

now, onto the questions. . .

1. name: francesca — or fran; you can abbreviate it any way you want!

2. gender: female.

3. star sign: pisces!

4. height: 155 cm, which i think is 5′, right?

5. time: 13:57.

6. birthday: march 3rd.

7. favorite bands: onerepublic, of monsters and men and panic! at the disco (among others).

8. favorite solo artists: this is difficult, i don't have one! i'd say p!nk and michele bravi because i think their voices are beautiful and very powerful.

9. song stuck in my head: classic by mkto and waving through a window by dear evan hansen.

10. last movie: night at the museum: secret of the tomb.

11. last show: bridgerton, i binge watched it last night.

12. when did i make this blog: i didn't make it alone, but i think it was around 2016 maybe?

13. what i post: i reblog a lot of stuff and shitpost sometimes. i also post everything my creative peaks have to offer, it can be anything from writing, fan arts (so to say) and, mostly, edits — aesthetics and videos.

14. last thing i googled: "smoothie banane kiwi". my mom got me a blender as an early birthday present, so i looked at what we have in the house and said yolo. xD

15. other blogs: i only have this one.

16. do i get asks: i'm a shy cryptid so, seldom. i get asks once in a while, and it always makes me very happy because shy or not, i'm actually always eager to talk to people!

17. why i chose my url: it's a bit of a self-reminder i made by mixing the nickname two of my siblings call me by — frì, anglicized free — and my favourite bnha character — whose hero name is red riot.

18. following: i'm afraid to look because this blog is old, i shared it for a long time, so it's a big number for sure lol.

19. followers: 342.

20. average hours of sleep: between four and seven.

21. lucky number: not sure! i can tell you my unlucky number though! — okay seriously? i think 7.

22. instruments: the only instrument i ever played was my flute when i was in grade school and the maracas, pediodt. i would love to learn how to play the guitar though.

23. what am i wearing rn: crop top and leggins. the crop top has a little white writing on the front that says: and be awesome. be awesome, y'all!

24. dream trip: scandinavia! especially iceland and denmark! but also ireland and scotland; i unironically already have a dublin map hidden somewhere.

25. favorite food: i don't have a big appetite, but i love flavoury food like sweet and sour peppers (i don't really know how to translate it correctly, i hope it's alright), and foreign dishes that my parents are genuinely weirded out by (traditional italian family, ya know?). if there is anything i'm big on though, that's fruit — of any kind.

26. nationality: italian.

27. favorite song: king and lionheart by of monsters and men is my absolute favorite! special mention to i can go the distance by michael bolton.

28. last book read: mansfield park by jane austen — for an exam.

29. top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: i have fanfiction tropes i'd like to live in, but i'm not sure about fictional universes. maybe the wizarding world? hhm—

30. favorite color: i'm achromatic, which means i'm completely colorblind, but i like the idea of blue and violet? they just have that vibe idk.

so I dont spam the tag ill combine these into one post:

1: Kai can’t be trusted with good phones, he’s lost too many trying to do selfies off of the side of the ship and one (1) good wind gust *cue Morro laughing* causes it to tumble to the ground. Jay’s lost one or two due to a shaky grip or just straight up tripping. Cole, Zane and Nya have a pretty good track record of not losing their goddamn phones (they're also scared of having that convo with wu and earning a hard bonk to the head from his staff)

2: Kai, after years of living alone with Nya, would definitely be an early riser but only to put out last-minute presents for the fam. Jay would be up shortly after, he is still a kid at heart, but he’ll try to be quiet for his sleeping friends. Zane wakes up at their normal time but he’s secretly excited to see the joy on his fam’s faces at opening their presents. Nya and Cole have to be dragged out of bed and lured with either cups of coffee or tea, but they’ll wake up eventually. Lloyd does not sleep a single bit, especially on his first Christmas with the ninja family; he starts crying when he sees that they have presents for him, even his own little stocking filled with treats and a comic or two. Pix is just happy to spend time with her friends :)

3: Pixal loves seeing the world at every time of day, she hates being stuck inside as it reminds her too much of her time as Cyrus’ assistant (she loves her dad but she never got to explore Ninjago City). Sometimes Zane will take Pixal on a solo adventure and bring her places to either watch the sunrise or sunset, maybe even to see meteor showers or the Northern Lights. Zane loves seeing Pixal’s eyes glowing under the starlight, he’ll do anything to make her smile even if it means messing up his cooking just to get her to laugh. 

4: @cherrybombfangirl i talked this one over with my friends and we decided that all of the ninja would be arguing over who would die for their family. Each one would be willing to die so that their family could live, but as they're arguing Wu decides that none of his students need to die so as they're arguing he just walks by and goes “there's something I haven't told you-” which catches their attention. Wu then goes “yolo” and falls off the cliff.

stolen from @themysticgay :)

Name/Nickname: rachael/rach

Gender: *ferengi voice* fe-male

Star Sign: aquarius

Height: 5′4″

Time: six pm

Favourite Band: king gizzard and the lizard wizard, baby

Favourite Solo Artist: devin townsend

Song Stuck in my head: it’s fucking Faith of the Heart lmao

Last Movie: white christmas

Last TV Show: enterprise

When did i create this blog: fucking 2011. nine years ago. jesus.

What did i last google: “coochy coo” okay. i wanted to tell my friend to give the baby they’re looking after a coochy coo from me. but i spelled it “coochie” out of habit at first and had to google the correct spelling to make sure i did not make some Unfortunate Implications

Other Blogs: @vorta-whore where i post my fics. @stayneurotic from the one time i wanted my blog to be private b/c of some drama but then only like 5 people followed me there so i gave up lol. sometimes i vent stuff there when i’m feeling angsty. @neuroticramblings which was like, for an RP i did with my fiance about our OC faun/satyr pairing a few years ago. and @sisterastoria which is from my ghost (the band) RP days. i ran a pretty popular askblog for papa emeritus iii back then too, but i went through a real bad breakup and handed it off to a friend cause i couldn’t keep up with it anymore.

Do i get asks?: yes! but not enough!

Why i chose my URL: from a quote i like. it’s really just a more eloquent yolo: “Stay neurotic. Stay frustrated. Stay emotional. Stay excited. Your life is happening.” i have a complicated relationship with my own emotions and neuropathy and it’s just comforting sometimes to remind myself it’s ok to be Not Perfect and let myself feel things openly.

Average hours of sleep: NOT A LOT LOL. maybe 6. i stay up way too late nowadays.

Lucky Number: 64 which i’m sure is a popular one

Instruments: none, but i’ve always wanted to learn to play drums.

What i am wearing: grey & black pajamas and a grey cami. plus a comforter around my shoulders which really ties the whole look together.

Dream Job: author/novelist ;_;

Dream Trip: i have said this before but i REALLY wanna go to colorado to the red rocks ampitheatre to see king gizzard do their three-hour marathon set......barring that though i can point to the honeymoon we were supposed to go on last month which has been indefinitely postponed lol. flying to california, staying in san diego for a few days, hitting up the zoo and all the dope shops and doing some horseback tours and getting cbd massages and room service n shit. and then a few days in an air bnb cabin in the forest, just the two of us.

Favourite Food: potatoes!!!!! in any form

Favourite Song: oh man. i don’t have just one. let’s just say it’s crumbling castle right now because that song is 10 min long and i have never ever ever fucking skipped it in my life

Last Book I read: warpath.......dont even wanna get into this again...............but i will say. puttin a jem’hadar elder who’s kind of awakening to his brainwashing and havin a wee mental breakdown because of it, on a ship alone for hours w/ a hostage who’s like, a younger woman and she’s smart enough to play it cool while planning a badass escape even though she’s obviously terrified of him, but things escalate until he ends up like, backhanding her and then later on chokes her and hangs her from the ceiling by her wrists and gets real close to her face to taunt her and whispers in her ear while shrouded and shit........god bless

Top 3 Universes i want to live in: s t a r t r e k, uhhh, pokemon obv, and...can i say star trek again

too lazy to tag. anyone who wants to do it, do it!!