#so if i left and was only getting 10-20k more and had to work all the time
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Me and recruiters.
#it would be a great fit for me#because i know hubspot really well#but i probs do about 25-30 hours of work for a bit less than the low end#so if i left and was only getting 10-20k more and had to work all the time#i'd hate it#plus my boss is awesome#i need 6 figures to actually have to do work 40 hours#💸💸💸#mo money mo problems#know your worth#recruiters#hiring and recruiting#linkedin#email marketing#email development#email dev
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Weekend WIP Game
Thank you to @welcometololaland for coming up with this game!! And thank you to @cha-melodius @myheartalivewrites @happiness-of-the-pursuit @inexplicablymine @read-and-write- and @cricketnationrise for tagging me!! You all have such an absolute treasure trove of WIPs!!!! So excited about so many of them!!!
I've been very single minded about witchy WIP for the last two months so this was a cool way to remind me of my other children lol
1. WIP List: here be my babies
A Love that Haunts the Land aka witchy WIP (currently posting but still working on it LIKE A FOOL)
Ellen drabble collection/character study
caterer!Alex and out Prince Henry meet at a state dinner
Las Flores 3
marching band/high school AU
anastasia-ish AU
alternate universe king Henry
Shaan and Henry pre-canon character study
"Anonymous" Henry and Alex wear disguises to explore and end up at the Strand
Canon-divergence no Cakegate
I wanna post the two character studies next!!
2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?
Not counting ALTHTL, I believe it's Anastasia (~20k) but still has a long way to go
3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?
I think canon divergence no Cakegate??
4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?
My favorite to write is las flores 3 but i also overthink it. Most fun to write is marching band au bc I get to reminisce and I always ham up their personalities when I write them as teens which is extra fun
5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?
Las Flores 3 haha I've set my own tone unfortunately and I feel like this one is all over the place as far as a theme. And I keep going back and forth on some character choices. Have already had two major rewrites
6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?
Ellen character study! It's hard to get in her head, especially bc I have a Thing about people in power
7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?
Probably anything that's a multichap! When a fic gets too long I get overwhelmed and can literally feel that I'm not editing as well as I'd like
8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?
I flip between them pretty often but the ones that are probably the most dormant are no Cakegate and Anastasia AU (this one is bc I have a lot of filler left and it's hard to force myself to write that)
9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?
Las Flores 3! My gang of family OCs is in it and I finally wrote Alex and Henry's children and they are both very adorable in different ways! I think Anonymous is the only other fic with an OC in it?
10. Which WIP is the sexiest?
Probably Anastasia? I think literally that is the only one with an explicit scene in it (MY FIRST)
11. Which WIP is the angstiest?
Shaan and Henry pre-canon and King Henry AU are both pretty angsty :(
12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?
ooooooh I think no Cakegate. Trying very hard to stay as close to their canon characterization as possible
13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?
ALTHTL has some very cool imagery bc I got to build a world from scratch!!
14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?
Either Anastasia (where i wrote 20k in one month) or no Cakegate (which is among the first fics I started writing)
15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?
Las Flores 3 hands down. I want it to feel like a natural continuation of that big overwhelming love from the first two, but so far it's more toned down and anxious haha
16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?
no haha which sucks bc I do have very vivid dreams and I think it would be fun
17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?
ALTHTL!!!!! My GOD the worldbuilding in this one is wild!!! I started by giving myself a bit of a cop out but then fully committed to Aztec mythology bc it was hard to find concrete info on brujeria. So there's still creative liberties bc I wrote it with the scraps of information I could find (a blend of a well timed ologies episode on witches, ingrained catholicism, and two sketchy looking websites on Aztecs) and THEN two weeks ago I found an extremely helpful book on Aztecs and have been tweaking my own worldbuilding (hence the still working on it). But what BLOWS MY MIND is that I had stuff I built from scratch that ended up aligning like CRAZY with the real beliefs. I shan't spoil but if asked later I will divulge!
18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?
Las Flores 3! And ALTHTL has a very pointed effort to remain humorous to counter the heavy material!
19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?
Ellen and Shaan's character studies. Ellen is hard to tap into!! Shaan is a bit easier but I get sad writing it bc Henry is going Through It :(
20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.
Las Flores 3 has a moment inspired by an actual photo of my dad from the eighties sitting on the hood of a lowrider wearing a v-neck crop top lmao he's blurry enough that I may post it as a reward when I upload the fic
No pressure tags for: @sherryvalli @indomitable-love @athousandrooms @suseagull04 @formorewishes @raysletters @historicallysam @dumbpeachjuice @cultofsappho @xthelastknownsurvivorx and @celeritas2997! <3
A list of questions for Artists!
1. WIP List:
2. Which WIP is your most complex?
3. Do any of your WIPs involve you using a technique/style that you haven't used before? What inspired you to try it?
4. Which WIP do you expect will take you the longest?
5. Which WIP are you finding the most enjoyable to create?
6. Do you have a favourite character to draw/stitch/paint/depict? Are they in many of your WIP projects?
7. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?
8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of creator's block?
9. Do any of your WIPs contain characters outside the main ship? How are you finding creating those?
10. What emotions are you hoping to convey through your WIPs?
11. Are there any features/details you are finding challenging in your WIPs?
12. Which WIP has the most complex shading/colouring?
13. Which WIP has the most complex background?
14. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for?
15. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?
16. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other art doesn't?
17. Are any of your WIPs commissions?
18. Do you have a character that is more difficult to draw/stitch/paint/depict? Are they in many of your WIP projects?
19. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.
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Although I decidedly do not need student loan forgiveness (my parents were able to pay for my entire college tuition so I didn’t have to take loans or even work during college, which should tell you all you need to know about my financial background) I stand in solidarity with y’all and I hope Biden comes through on this. I’d much rather my tax dollars go to loan forgiveness than blowing up people abroad.
In this case, it's not Biden we need to worry about; it is, and as ever, the fucking Supreme Court. If some asshole Republican AG sues the administration over this (which they will) and if it reaches the Supreme Court (which it might), then you can absolutely 100% guarantee that it will be struck down in a 6-3 decision along ideological lines. As I said before in all my other posts about this issue, that was the shortcoming with Biden doing this as an executive order (though I'm glad he did anyway). Of course the usual suspects are bitching and whining about how cancelling $10k outright ($20k for Pell Grant recipients, aka the poorest/low-income bracket of students) isn't enough and he should have just done it all, but the plan also contains major structural improvements that will have much longer-term ramifications apart from just outright cancellation, including:
As long as you're making payments (which can include $0 monthly payments if you're on an Income-Driven Repayment plan), NO INTEREST will be added to the principal balance of your loan. That is huge. I probably have at least 10K more in debt than I did when I graduated with my masters, because of the fucking interest. This is one of the things that make student loans so predatory: even if you pay the minimum amount, and if you pay it steadily, you just can't get out of debt because it keeps compounding and increasing. This means your balance will be frozen, and paying it down (even, again, if you don't actually pay anything!) will make a difference!
Full cancellation in 10 years if you've made qualifying payments (which again might be $0 if your income is low)! Also huge! People can spend DECADES paying, so capping it at only 10 years and then they're gone either way is major!
IDR plans are now capped at 5% of your discretionary monthly income, instead of 10%, which again goes a long way to making payments affordable.
If you made payments up/past March 2020 (the start of the first pandemic pause) you can actually get that money back!
Cancelling 20K in debt for the lowest earners/Pell Grantees is legitimately fucking game-changing, and will fully erase student debt for an estimated 20 million people, predominantly Black and Latino with no generational or family wealth to speak of. Even if I get 10k knocked off my student loans, I'll still have upward of 50K left over from my undergraduate/graduate degrees; I also have separate UK-based loans from my PhD which I have had to continue paying this whole time (even though Britain is literally on the verge of becoming a failed state due to economic collapse, but I digress). Of course I wish that I, personally, qualified for more forgiveness or that it would all go away. However, I absolutely recognize that this policy is going to help a lot of people who are considerably worse off than me (and I'm broke, so there you go).
Anyway, there's a lot of good stuff in this policy, and I expect further reform if the Democrats can hold/increase their Congressional majorities. But like I said, the problem isn't Biden; the problem is fucking SCOTUS. So let's see what happens.
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Wince, Stop, and Comfort, for the Tiny Scene Game
Have fun! ✨
- Circa
Sky of shards
Summary: Backstory chapter about how Skye, Zephyr and Hal met for the first time. This is how it all started.
Author's note: Thanks for the words! I had this scene in mind for a long time and this just clicked together. I love how these tiny scene words provide me with the external motivation to write.
Also 2.1k words! This makes the draft officially 20k words long!✨
She watched them turn their backs on her.
Ever since Skye was little, her biggest fear was standing in a room full of people talking to each other. Talking happily and merrily and ignoring her.
It wasn't even that she was ignored. It was the responsibility. Like she was supposed to be talking with them, but wasn't, couldn't get into touch with them, all divided in their neat little groups.
All she could muster was stand there, paralyzed by her discomfort, by the feeling she was doing something wrong, being so left out, not wanting to annoy anyone, by mixing in. Asking. Reaching out.
She couldn't take the sight for more than 10 seconds before bulking. No matter how objectively ridiculous it seemed afterwards.
Just didn't expect it to happen here of all places.
The Flying Islands were legendary. Floating shards of earth in the sky, children running out of their homes to point at them, to add meaning to the shapes, to imagine what dragons might be sleeping there.
But the Isles were forbidden territory. Unexplored. Mysterious. Dangerous. The weather and nature there were so wild and unpredictable, humans couldn't tame them, even after 100 years of their sudden burst into existence.
They say they were created at the same time as the old Dragonknight Order fell. They say there was an explosion, conspiracy. Or an accident. Many versions and no way to fact check.
But there was a way to get to see them. One day excursion on the Islands with soon to be graduates from the most prestigious university of magic offered the one in a life chance to set foot on the Islands. Try to reach out to its wild magic with their own. Hope, semester after semester, that with this honour, one day, a discovery came.
Or any kind of new knowledge, really.
Skye felt so confident going there. She was the only mind mage in the last 5 years to go there, for the incredible rarity of mind mage graduates. She was with the top group of students researching it.
That fateful day, she wore a dark blue blazer to highlight her stormy eyes and a striped shirt. Had a new haircut, her silver blond hair just under her chin. She felt beautiful wearing her confidence.
All before the exciting research trip went to hell. A sudden storm caught their airship. They were stuck. Stranded on a small island, a shard shaped piece of rock and mud above a bigger greener shard.
The only means of transpiration without their automatically flown and failed airship were the magic powered gliders.
Gliders powered by physical magic. Soulfire magic that came as a visible tangible fog from the mage. Or Elemental magic, that involved the magicae of the mage connecting to their trained element. The element they were used to resonate with.
Mind magic was the only existing type of completely non physical magic. It worked on a mental level, connecting with anything with consciousness. It couldn't power the gliders.
So, her lovely classmates went ahead and abandoned her to her own fate. For the "greater good of the many'' they said.
"Really, you should insist on sacrificing yourself. You should want to save as many people as possible. Why are you making it hard on us?"
Their de facto leader, a blood mage, informed her in a completely serious, earnest tone.
Hard on you? I'm so sorry, it's so hard on you to write me off as useless and leave me to die!
What can you expect from a blood mage, right? Self-righteous idiots. Just cause their magic was the most used in the medical field, they thought they ate the universe's wisdom and had the right to use the "for the greater good" phrase. She never liked the sound of that argument.
A moral trap people told you, whenever they wanted you to sacrifice something they had no right to claim.
But now, she was the sacrifice for the greater good and she should be thankful. Even insistent and willing.
Looking at their departing backs, she didn't know if she wanted to cry or scream. But she held her tongue, her expression schooled in stony features. Her talent was always not showing her emotions.
Only one persona stayed behind.
Zephyr.
He had black curly hair cut short from the sides, but long enough in the middle to fall into his forehead. Sea green eyes, changing with the light, like they couldn't decide if they wanted to be green or blue. They fascinated her. Or they would have, any other day.
He had an athletic build and wore his shirt and blazer with enough contempt to reveal he wasn't used to them. But his face was calm and his voice steady as he argued with their classmates. In her defence.
"You can't just sacrifice a human life."
"Oh don't be so preachy, Zephyr. You have a soulfire training hall, right? You train that for heroic professions, like police, dragon management, rescue service? Didn't they teach you maths?" Her classmate said. Skye couldn't remember his name, although she heard it once. She was always bad with names. Names, faces, and people she didn't care about.
"Do you want to die?" Another added.
But he insisted on staying with her, although the endeavour seemed hopeless. There was no way he could help her on his own. Even if they thought of something, they probably couldn't do it without the gliders their classmates took, to heighten their own chances.
It shouldn't surprise her. In critical situations, people always thought of themselves. Fear for one's own safety was deafening. Hysterical. Unmanageable.
As much as she hated them for leaving, she didn't feel any comfort by Zephyr staying. It seemed futile, self-destructive even. Maybe he was calm, cause he was doing what he believed in, but was it worth dying for your beliefs?
Curious thing, to pity him and not herself. In critical situations, she blocked her feelings. Didn't want to feel anything she would if she let herself right then. Like a switch. Bet nobody else without her mind mage training could do it.
It was just the price she paid. With her magic potential, with her discipline of the mind and keen intellect, she could have chosen any magic. Blood magic even. All the respect and trust and money that came with that.
But no, she chose the magic that interested her, that she believed in, that made her heart sing and eyes sparkle, that made her life more interesting than her dreams.
Didn't realise that something so rare would be so barely understood. So unknown. That she would be written off as useless at the first opportunity.
She paid her price.
But what about Zephyr? He didn't fit in her constellation of the world. She hated he was the only one, her only saviour, her only hope, the benevolent one that pitied her enough to stay.
"Don't worry. I won't leave you."
She nodded and hugged herself. Pretended to be lost and scared. Rage and sense of offence wouldn't make her sympathetic to him and she didn't know if she didn't end up needing him after all.
Couldn't muster an answer though, so they walked in silence. Found a good tree to sleep by.
Zephyr gave her a reassuring smile.
Skye couldn’t wait until he fell asleep.
She reached out her fingers to him. Usually she had to make up pleasant dreams to make her clients grant her entrance into their minds. But this close up and at sleep? All guards down, trusting her to be an innocent frail little victim? Pche. All she needed was touch. One finger on finger.
She could touch him and go through his mind. One millimetre of skin and she would know who he was, why he saved her, what he was playing at. No way this was a selfless thing. Maybe he was in shock. Maybe he didn't believe the danger. Maybe he was too stupid or too arrogant to understand it. Maybe he wanted to be a hero. Maybe he was just suicidal.
If she touched him, she could know all about him. Likely why she was so bad with people. She preferred to get this "getting to know you" phase quickly and effectively over with. Just one little touch.
But when she reached out with her mind, the ground shook beneath them. The tree moved its roots, shifting them around their bodies, as if a hand was cradling them. She winced, but suddenly they stopped again, just barely not touching her.
Silence followed. The darkness felt thick against her skin, an itchy coat to throw away.
She shut her eyes. This wasn't right. She shouldn't be mind raping her saviour's mind. Even though she hated to be saved by this stranger. Even though she didn't want to need saving in the first place.
Her fingertips tingled with the prepared magic. Skye prepped herself up against the ground with both hands. This was wrong.
A drizzle started then. What a dose of bad luck today.
Closing her eyes, she lie against the ground, hands spread out around her body. The ground felt warm under her back, solid and strong. Why was it shaking? The shard was big and slow enough not to be able to feel its movement. Why did it shake?
The water from the drizzle ran down her cheeks, her neck, her bare arms. Palms turned outward, she let go of her ready magic, of the focus, like throwing an arrow into the sky instead of her unknowing victim.
A pulse. A flash of lighting to her body. A kick into her mind. Something responded. Something connected.
Skye never felt a mind like that. Her sense of her body, her situation, her surroundings disappeared. She was a blade of grass beside her head. She was a bee. She was part of the tree, roots deep underground, communicating with the other roots. Everything was connected. All the little pieces, the shards, the trees, the rocks, the insects made up a net of connections, of flashes of light, life, consciousness. A net over it all, pulsing, alive.
There was no way to stop.
And the net, it was still going. A leaf. A moose. A butterfly over a sleeping body of a dragon. Then she was a dragon, with the weight of wings on her back, with eyes yellow as melted gold.
As if the Islands lived. Breathed. Connected with everything and everyone, they were one big net, one big ecosystem. Exhilarating.
But still. Something was beneath it all. Not just a singular point in a net, but a voice. A consciousness.
Who are you? she asked.
Another mind. Very strong. Mingling with all the points, all the connections, but changing shape. It was sleepy and heavy and slow, but it was an entity separate from the living net of the Islands.
Who is asking?
It was a voice that answered, rumbling deeply in her mind.
She wasn't sure who she was anymore. Part of everything and nothing. Part of the Islands but also a person of her own. Skye. That was her name.
She couldn't formulate words anymore, swimming in and out of self-awareness. Turning into a stream of thoughts, memories, moments that made her a whole being.
So that was what she sent him. A focused stream of who she was. What she felt. What happened to her.
The consciousness, the stranger, shifted. Changed. Activated. Like waking up from a long dream, he, she or it reacted to her thoughts. To the onslaught of memories.
Now there were glimpses coming back. The person, vast and wide like a whole world, giant and overwhelming enough to connect with the whole net of the Islands, couldn't answer. It was confused. But still, she got the glimpses.
Explosion. Blood. Dragons. Giant castle-like building. Impressions and emotions. Pieces of sadness, of grief, of loss and a void.
Escape, escape, escape.
It was too much. He needed to escape. Turned into a tree. A rock. A fly. A dragon. What did it matter? Seeing the world from a different vantage point. Trying another form of existence. Everything, just to not feel the pain.
It took all her skill and experience, all her deep self-reflection and discipline to pull herself back. To realise how she was to separate herself from him. Skye. My name is Skye.
Who are you? she repeated to him. He was becoming clearer on the edges, forming a shape of colour and blackness.
Hal. The only word in the mess of thoughts and memories, of flashes that only vaguely made up a form.
He was too strong. A mage with so much power would be considered a god. The closest to a god their atheistic society, based around magic, had.
A god named Hal.
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personal shit
but i got laid off last year right before the holidays which is the shittiest time in the world to lay someone off because absolutely nobody hires you at the end of the year because that’d be wild to hire before the new budget and also everyone’s just out for the holidays. My boss was very respectful about it and gave me privacy and like blocked the window to my office with his body so nobody could look and see me crying which was very nice. But the CEO had a stick up his butt about there had always only ever been two IT people before and he felt that having three was a waste of money. Ben the other sysadmin had been with the company (not in IT though another department) for 5 years which left only me on the chopping block. Even though I consistently closed the most tickets and put the most work in. And he said it was nothing about my work and that he’d recommend me to any contact that asked for a sysadmin and he’d be happy to answer any reference calls for me. And honestly a week after new years, i got a very sexy new job making 20k more than i was and doing like 10% of the work? so it worked out very much in my favor but it was a very deeply shameful fact for me that I was unemployed for two months. it felt like i failed my wife and it was awful for my mental health i couldn’t sleep i was straight up hallucinating and had trouble telling what was cooked up by my depression soup brain and what was real. Looking back on it I think I might have schizophrenia or something that emerges due to stress because things were not good during those two months.
And also the unemployment website said to keep track of all work search activities because they might randomly request a history of your work search activities but to not upload it unless specifically requested. So it was the week of new years and new job postings were still pretty slow so I spent deadass a whole day of 12+ hours making an excel spreadsheet and going back through dice and linkedin and all the other random job applications and documenting every single job I applied for and every interview I went on. There were fucking 500 entries. Not even 2.5 months unemployed and I had 500 work search activities. The minimum to claim unemployment is 3 a week. And I was doing 50 a week (just a cool 17 times more than required) like I was putting the work in on searching for work. It was a major point of pride that I was going so far above and beyond but it also fucked me up that I was putting myself out there so much and not getting any traction. And I remember thinking wow it’d be funny if now that I put all this time into documenting all my work search activities if i would get a job offer because then obviously i wouldn’t claim the unemployment any longer and thus wouldn’t need the list that the work search commission nebulously may or may not ever call for.
And literally the next day I had an interview go extremely well (all my stories and answers were well honed by the hundred other interviews at this point) and they were in a rush to hire someone by next monday so literally a few hours after the interview they sent me a job offer on like a wednesday and asked if there was anyway to go ahead and do the paperwork and drug test by the end of that week. And I was like well hey i won’t have to interview any more so getting to cancel those freed up my days. So the next day I did all the paperwork online and went in peed in a cup that morning and then had a follow up interview with them that afternoon and they were so impressed that I helped them get this done in their accelerated timeframe that they game me like a $5k raise. I had already signed and submitted the job offer but they voided and sent over one with the increased salary. It’s with an MSP so it’s a company that just does IT for other companies. But it has like the most room for growth possible for someone like me. They have a team of 500k app developers so if i want to start doing that they’ll show me how. But the gig I have right now is a 5 year contract to be the helpdesk guy on site at this union. But we’re outsourcing all the mundane remote helpdesk stuff so I literally just have to do the onsite support but it’s an office of like 20 people. It’s the cushiest gig I’ve ever had.
First IT job was doing everything for 150 users, then I asked for a raise after 5 years of the same salary and was denied so I moved to that last company and was there for 1 year. It was 250 users that I had to do everything for (that also had a history of ransomware attacks and I overhauled their whole security and then they fucking laid me off that same year wild) but for 10k more. And now it’s 20 people for 20k more. So anyway I’ve been here for a month now. The first couple weeks were really hectic settling in so that’s why I’ve been offline mostly. But incredibly grateful for this opportunity. The whole point of this was to actually say that since I’m working for a union right now the mindsets of my coworkers is such a heelturn than what I’m used to. All my users before have been very entitled old white dudes. So I’m used to having to have them spew random vitriol out of nowhere and having to pretend that their incredibly hurtful words is totally fine. But working for a union is great everyone here is very pro worker. You can leave early if you need to. We were watching a senate hearing and everyone’s rooting for the worker’s rights side and it’s just such a liberating feeling to work somewhere that shares your point of view.
#about me#sorry for the personal dump lmao#anyway stacey watch out since our lives run in parallel don't want you to be blindsighted#long post
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I’ve been desperate to talk to someone about this, but everyone in my life says I’m being crazy about it. I just discovered the radfem community on tumblr and I honestly thought I was alone in how much I hated men. You can totally just delete this if you want. I’m just desperate to talk to someone who might understand my feelings right now.
I got an office job 2 years ago. My office is mostly conservative boomers, but there are two “far-left, communist” men on my team. They are best friends. They started being friendly with me pretty quickly, and I welcomed it at first since there’s no one else my age to talk to.
They constantly talk about feminism, respecting women, hating “other men” and how they treat women, etc. It was a bit white-knighty, a bit incel, but I figured it was miles better than them sexually harassing me like my coworkers at other jobs have.
We started talking daily, and it became more and more obvious how disgusting they are. They talk down to me all the time, infantilizing me, acting like I’m not a real adult… I’m 25 and they are 27.
One of them is engaged, and I realized he has only ever told me negative stories about his fiance, stuff that annoyed him about her. He also told me a lot of stories about the other coworker’s relationship problems, telling me he had a lot of crazy exs and that he had commitment issues. This coworker got a girlfriend for a few weeks last spring, and the only thing they could tell me about her was that she wore a corset to the party he met her at and that she “wasn’t like other girls” because she listened to the same medieval music they like. Literally they could tell me nothing about her personality except that basically, he asked her out because he saw her tits.
then three weeks later he told me they broke up. why? the girl got too “clingy”… because she thought he wanted a romantic relationship because he asked her on more than one date, and brought up the topic to him. he broke up with her immediately because of his “commitment issues,” and because she didn’t wear the corset 24/7, i’m assuming. but guess what? she’s now on the crazy ex list too! they told me her name was banned in their group chat.
I also get treated like shit at the office because i’m a woman, and when i complain about how our bosses treat me on a daily basis, they just change the subject. but when they got treated like me ONCE, they threw temper tantrums in our group chat and wouldn’t shut up about it for days, talking about how they were going to burn the system down and guillotine the CEO. except they can’t even manage to use their privilege to speak up and defend me once at work. it’s well known at our office that white men do not get fired. they can do literally no work, and they still won’t get fired, but the women will get abused for not picking up their slack. i found out recently that I do the exact same work as them but get paid $20K less, too.
i’m not even at the really fun thing yet. one of them is super super vocal about being an anarchist and a communist. talking proudly about how he sits down for the national anthem and shit like he actually did something. always preaching about how you shouldn’t take shit from your boss. we had a company wide anniversary party this year where the CEO spent an hour on stage making women in the kitchen jokes and talking about the accomplishments of all the white men VPs, which pretty amounted to “the women did the work, but the men had to order them around, so who really did the hard work here? am i right fellas??” at one point, they had a 10 minute bit about how one VP is known widely for being physically abusive to employees, throwing garbage cans at people’s heads and punching through walls.
the CEO brought in photos of this. and we were all supposed to laugh, except i had an abusive childhood, and was in an abusive relationship, and it was genuinely triggering for me. but i was so in utter shock at the absurdity of it all, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how many women were in the crowd, and statistically how many of us had been raped and physically abused, and now were forced to attend a mandatory party to celebrate this disgusting violent male behavior. i couldn’t keep my mouth shut. i said something along the lines of “wow so funny, it’s so funny to terrorize your employees! fucking assholes” loud enough that my coworker could hear, thinking he would at least agree with that.
nope. he shot me a dirty look. like a “shut up, the bosses are here” kind of look. the same dude who said he wanted to guillotine the boss became they asked him to file a couple papers. turns out he had quietly been promoted to a manager! and the only way to be a manager here is to enforce their mad men culture to a T. you have to be totally on the side of the CEOs.
you know that post about “leftist woke sex-positive communist dudes” being one of the worst types of men? it’s this same guy. this man enjoys discussing big tiddy goth girlfriends in front of women a bit too much. is a little too supportive of women exploring their sexualities, and if they want to have a threesome with him to explore, that’s more than ok! :))) is a little TOO into lesbians.
i stopped talking to them completely. I couldn’t listen to it anymore, and then listen to them tell me how feminist they are and talk over me when I try to call them out on their bull shit.
now our bosses are talking about making manager boy my new manager. and it’s giving me so much stress, because I will have to quit on the spot. I’ll literally kill him. He’s so fucking annoying, and i already can’t take orders from men in general, but in men my age i can’t handle it at all.
anyway. sorry about this. thank you for listening.
Those men only care when it's affecting them, not you or other women.
I apologize for not getting to this sooner, but I have read it!! It just pisses me off how these men dgaf about anything but themselves & maybe their male buddies.
#lesbian#radfem#radfems please touch#radfem safe#radfems please interact#radical feminism#radical feminst#feminsim#terfs welcome#feminist
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Talking about THE comic!
I yelled about it randomly on my personal twitter or in the tags here but probably it’s a better idea to write the first “official” post C:
So, the two idiots I’ve been drawing for half a year now. Mostly self-indulgence, but also a slow preparation for THE comic. At first I merely wanted to tell what atrocities Vivi did in Norvrandt and how that affected their relationship, giving it, I dare fucking say, a rather unique angsty spice.
I’ve never written before, in late January/February I started scripting the Vivi-flavored ShB+5.x story to casually drop it maybe in several releases. A month or two forward, I’ve gone completely mental practiced writing fics (one published, a few more ready, a few more cookin’ but I’ll keep them until the corresponding Fragments are released), spent every day thinking about them so obsessively that the planned comic script got remade with slighly more finesse on my end as a writer, more depth as ViviRaha completely went out of control as characters, and their story started expanding in all directions at once.
I Wrote A Lot and I still keep adding a bit here, a bit there at least once a week. By now the broad concept is fleshed out, just as the characters, everything’s ripe and juicy and ready for consumption. Only one lil thing: now I’ve actually gotta draw it :’D
When am I actually starting? How will it look? Will it be free? And other questions that you guys might have, I’ll try to cover under the cut.
“Fragments” is a wolgraha-centered (duh!) comic that’ll be published here on tumblr for free. I’ll be crossposting it to twitter but the format’s oriented for this hellsite first and foremost. Not sure about the actual webcomic platforms, too much hassle for now. I’m still thinking how to handle the early access and whatnot, I MUST think about it since my art is the only source of my income. Likely I’ll have one release up on tumblr and two next ones on Patreon and Kofi to support my further work on the comic.
I AM anxious about it. My life currently is a huge unstable mess, mildly put, so I’m extra worried about starting the comic, announcing the release schedule, then getting blindsided by something new irl (so far 2022 had 3 major events that left me crippled for weeks - speaking of the personal scale events ofc) and having to go on a break that’d last for who knows how long, and how it’d impact my art style (yeah my mental state, my productivity and the very way I draw are unfortunately linked). There’s no guarantee of a safe and stable life for me atm, the best I can do is to start the comic regardlessly and hope shit doesn’t get worse.
So far the plan is to post every Friday (because Fragments Friday, ha!), anywhere between 2 and 10 pages (2 horizontal frames per page like in the early Tamen De Gushi), depending on the script. Max 10 pages because that’s how much a tumblr photopost can have. I call this “release”. Some scenes will be short and sweet and easily contained within one release, the others will span over multiple releases.
I’m NOT sure I can handle the weekly release schedule. I’ll try and see. I still have to dedicate most of my art juices to the stuff that pays for my rent and food, unfortunately. If I can’t keep up, I’ll dial it down to every other Friday, i.e. 2 releases a month.
Why “Fragments”? The releases won’t always be tightly connected between each other by the plot, yes they vaguely follow the canon timeline, yet many of them will be like glimpses into their everyday life, hence Fragments. I’m aware it’s cheeky, considering the Shards and all that. So, getting that out of the way: Vivi and Raha are NOT fragments of each other! They’re two separate entities, yes, mirrors and missing puzzle pieces of each other, but only that :>
The pages won’t be numbered, but each release I’ll number and put in a comic masterpost for the easy permanent access.
The script’s 20k+ words, some of those are my technical notes, some parts could be dropped, rewritten etc. The major beats are set, the rest’s still a wip. I don’t worry too much about polishing the text right now, I’ll have time for that during the storyboarding. Some scenes will have to be adapted for the visual format anyway. Here’s how my comic folder looks so far.
*screams in terror because chapter 1 INDEED HAS NO NAME YET*
The story itself still mostly takes place in ShB+5.x, save for the chapter 1 which is ARR. I carved out two “time pockets” for ViviRaha to rest and breathe and be happy or angsty in, post-5.0 and post-5.3, chapter 6 and chapters 9 and onward, respectively. Chapter 11 is my personal ShB epilogue. Chapter 12 still happens during the post-5.3 time pocket and focuses on Vivi’s background, by then you should be invested enough to care about that :> Chapter 13 is still tentative, an even deeper dive into Vivi’s past, showing his, gasp, old flames! A bunch of them. And chapter 14, if there’s ever such a thing, would finally move on to Endwalker. But for now I’m staying in my ShB bubble. There’s an in-character reason why I don’t wanna subject Vivi to the Endwalker events just yet. We’ll see. We’re speaking of a behemoth of a story that’ll take several years to get out. I have ample time to think about the later chapters.
Characters? Mostly ViviRaha (what? NO WAY), Alisaie’s the second most visible canon character, followed by Thancred, Lyna and Feo Ul. The Chais, Ardbert, Emet, Alphinaud, Tataru, Y’shtola, Estinien and Urianger have just a few lines. I’d LOVE to have more Urianger, who knows, maybe I can train my writing muscles and wedge more of his scenes in. Ryne and Krile as decorations (sorry!). Cid and Rammbroes in chapter 1. More ocs will appear in chapter 12. Chapter 13 has.... Drumroll...... Aymeric and Haurchefant as Vivi’s old flames. They were important. But you’ll have to survive until THAT late point in time to see them <w< There are some more ocs/npcs as well.
Since I’m looking at the weekly amount of (not always, but often) 10 pages each with 2 frames, I need to think about optimization. I’m not used to monochrome and I LOVE colors, so I wanna try doing something like this. Color is the quick and fun part for me, however, I still need time to train my hand in the lineart department. It won’t be super polished just because I’m not about that, but I wanna be personally happy with my sketchy style. I’d say I’m 70% there.
Drawing them nearly every day, figuring out their proportions and outfits, practicing general anatomy, all is the preparation work. I admit being absolutely lost and terrified in the background department. I’m rather comfy and chill about the natural landscapes, THAT I have no problem with, however, I’m still unsure about the buildings and interiors that I’ll wanna avoid, but I’ll have to draw at least SOME of those. So, yet another slowing down factor. I need more practice.
Fragments will be character- and feels-centric with little to no action/combat since it’d only detract from the story. I’m trying to stay as close to the main point of this comic’s existence as possible. Just feels, lots of them. Various flavors.
More about the technical stuff:
✓ finding/making textures (the slight overlay to avoid the flat, "digital” look)
✓ making and testing a storyboard template
✓ doodling cover ideas (atm 8 or so chapters have a cover that I’m happy with)
- picking a font (or making own)
- making frame and bubble templates (normal speech, screaming, thoughts, etc)
- finalizing character designs (proportions that I’ll stick with to avoid awkward wobbly style)
- finalizing character outfits for the same purpose as above
I’ll never be ultra-completely-ready but this checklist is vital. I’m doodling like crazy to make sure the main characters look exactly how I want them to. Vivi’s more or less complete, but lately I’ve realized that I still can’t draw our beefcake cat bf like I see him in my head, so I’m working on that.
Still no deadlines, I HOPE to start before August but who fucking knows. I’ll talk some more and make a lil countdown once I have at least 3 releases ready to go. Fragments is still my self-indulgence but it’ll span over the next few years. I’ll just start it when I’ve figured out the bare minimum and flail my way from there on :’D
Fragments already has its own tag where you can see some standalone comics and illustrations that I deem fully canon. Those posts also have a chapter tag, which should help situating each event on the broader timeline.
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Yesterday morning, my realtor & I saw 2 houses in Vancouver WA & 2 in Fairview OR. Naturally, the most expensive one impressed me. The owner had indeed "renovated it down to the studs". The proof was the sheetrock on the walls--smooth, solid, hammer a nail into it to hang a picture, for-real walls, not the flimsy vinyl-coated mason boards used in older MFHs. There were two walk-in showers & bidets on the toilets! The floors were covered w/ wood veneers in exactly the color I would have chosen. It already has a new unit for heat & AC.
Sure, I could get buy a cheaper MFH & spend at least $20K doing the same or I could pay more for a place where all that work had already been done. I didn't see a single place that didn't require me to replace all the appliances--including this one. Also, there are open shelves in the kitchen instead of upper cabinets. And, the steps from the carport are absurdly narrow & steep. I need all that fixed.
I tallied up my expenses to fix what I don't like & it added up to less than $10K. So my realtor made a starting offer reflecting that. Also, I have the attraction of paying cash-in-full & have already been accepted by the Park. Yep, it's the same one w/ the cute blue trailer. We could close in 15 days!
But I figure if I pay the full asking price & make my improvements, I would still have enough of my fortune left to pay the space rent for 10 years! Surely, I won't live that long. And, if I do I could always do a reverse mortgage or sell the place to pay for a nice nursing home to finish out my mortal suffering.
I got back to Motel 6, ate, got some rest, & went over to my daughter's house around 3pm. My granddaughter was having a whiny, tantrum-throwing day because her Mama is going out-of-town for 3 days. I couldn't handle her emotional distress on top of my rising pain level & my body started shutting down. I had to leave before dinner & barely made it back to Motel 6 before I completely collapsed.
I slept for 9 hours! But still feel exhausted. I've got enough food to sustain me until tomorrow. I only need to go down to the lobby to buy colas for my morning shots of caffeine. If I start to feel better I might make to the Shari's Restaurant around the corner for a decent meal. Anything else I feel needs doing like getting the RAV washed can wait. I am giving myself a down day, dammit.
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Fixes and Shifts
About 15 years ago when I was living in Spanish Harlem in NYC I bought a carbon fiber road bicycle. It was the kind of bike I wanted terribly as a kid. We used to drive two hours to Rapid City and I'd stare at the $1k+ bikes they had for sale at Scheels in the mall. It was a Specialize Paris Roubaix Compact. I rode it constantly when I lived in the city.
I had owned it maybe three weeks and I commuted from my apartment on 110th to the office I worked at on Wall St. I was riding on the West Side Greenway with my hands in the drops (for some stupid reason) and there were a lot of other people out. I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have been and didn't have as much fine control at that point in that riding position. Another cycling commuter and I crashed head-on. I went head-over-handlebars and came down on my helmet and right shoulder. I don't even think the impact knocked him down; he was riding an old, beat-up steel everything mountain bike. It probably weighed twice what my ride did and was the kind of thing you wouldn't care too much if it got stolen.
The shoulder hurt like hell but I was miles from my apartment, the bike was in ridable condition, and I didn't want to walk in clip-ons or call a cab so I slowly rode home, not able to put much of any pressure on that shoulder. Hurting the next day I went to the ER, where an x-ray turned up no broken bones. It kept hurting so an MRI followed. Diagnosis: small labral tear. Treatment: for some fucking reason, just physical therapy and no surgery.
Fast forward 15 years. I've just turned 40 and am closing in on two years sober, having swapped my carbon road bicycle for a 3 cylinder 900cc Yamaha motorcycle. My shoulder still bothers me, and has at a low level for all of the intervening years. I can many times very accutely feel where the tear is, and with moderate exercise (shoveling three or four inches of snow for example) or if I move just right or lean against a wall or door jam too long it hurts.
A new MRI and evaluation, because I want to put 20k miles on my Yamaha this year, I want to go back to Ontario camping, and I want to hike more. Can't have this keep lingering, and recovering and body upkeep is only going to get more time consuming as I keep getting older. Also, its fucking cold here in mid Michigan, and the days are short. It was -1F when I woke up today. If I'm going to have a useless right arm for a couple months now is perfect time.
Tear is still there, with some arthritis sprinkled on top. I'm having surgery this time, scheduled for the day after I get back from a work trip to Corporate. My pre-op appointment is in 10 days, at which time I'll know how long recovery will be. Could be in a sling for a week, could be a month. Sorta oddly hoping for the month because I want them to not just clean up stuff, but actually anchor and repair the tear.
This change is leading to another. Cleaning up who I follow and what I post, and blocking some followers I think were bots the whole time but left around so I'd feel better about myself. I still have no memorized idea of what the rules and culture are here anymore. I'll be reblogging political posts a lot less. maybe just liking them more. Shift toward riding and moto culture, with stars/astronomy, and animals. Those three represent the longest held, most continuous interests I've managed to sustain in my life, along with two or three sci-fi universes (Dune, Star Wars, and Battletech). Best I can do with my ADHD-addled mind.
Looking for a new pharmacy where I can get generic Vyvanse consistently. Meijer isn't going to carry it for at least six months because they aren't nationally cost competetive for the available supply, per one of the pharmacists where I get my stuff filled. Also going to finally see about that professional autism screening. I've taken two or three self tests/evaluations that float around online and I've come up with positive results on each one.
Here's to changes, and learning how to do a lot more with my left hand.
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It's highly important to repeat myself and make you aware that the day my young cousin came to the USA after I sent him a free flight from Europe to the State. I was making only in Philly over $25k weekly. I had also A guy working in NY. Ricky was supposed to be my right hand while I'm around the world trying to look for an exotic business. What happened was horrible my ex and Ricky begin an affair, a secret one and ok but it was also stealing as much as they could he stole my business and she stole from my private account. Slowly and while I'm abroad he used to say weak here weaker there she was paying bills and the feeding frenzy was on!
I wish to mention that I gave Ricky a beginning salary of $1000 a week unfortunately it stayed as such until the day he vanished with van equipments and few locations that he stole as he never recorded their info: Name, address etc.
The day he vanished my weekly collection came down to $ 10 k it means that 15k have vanish with him if you make quickly calculation 15000x100,(weeks ) 1million five hundred, that's not including what my ex deed on my private account.
Then another cousin enter the feast the one that all the family thought he the successful one. Nevertheless Ricky with his robbery left him big smoke Yossi he the type of person that for the first time you see him you say this guy nothing less then Armani. Slowly after you get to know him the Armani emerge as Amrani in the Arabic language it call shoofooni yah nass. It means look at me people wind called foo foo
Yossi saw that there is no more way to stile a lot coz after that I came back and guys I got ignored but the one I care I literally was home helping the fat nany taking care of my children. Again I didn't had a clue of what is going on.
Please think about such a scenario Yossi demand from my ex to leave her carrier and claim that I was a beater husband in order to sue the privete disability insurance he demanded her to buy. So in order to claim disability she needs to prove I'm a beating her. Tbh I did not but I shouted threaten and mostly curse her. So why is the solution, Yossi used to blue her she then went to do complaints and I set in jail. Nice.
Yossi demand she quit her dream job that each of you guys would have kill for it day the matrimony court begins was the day she quit her last saley $500k yearly not inclu the bonuses.
Insurance pay her 75% only no bonuses no shit
So here we are on my ass now she stop working only me whom need to pay half she don't need to pay me her license she is disabled.
Insurance send her $32000 each month yossi takes almost $ 20k some of the money they put in a pool to pay the goonies so the will keep me at bay and destroy my life relationship etc
More?? Well you already know
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Here We Go Again...
Fuck-It Friday
I know Thursday's post was bleak, but I promise I'm okay. I wrote most of it in the middle of the night with a Cuddlebug sleeping in my arms. I'm fine.
I don't super have anything to add to this week, so here's a random thing I found in a folder on my computer, which is a series of complaints about some guests on a cruise that I may or may not have discovered and become fascinated by while I was working at a previous job.
This is with regards to the dispute, as per subject, received from our mutual client Mrs. [Redacted].
We are very disappointed by receiving this chargeback notification from Mrs. [Redacted], for a series of reasons listed below.
Mrs. [Redacted] and her travel companion went on a 14-day-long luxury cruise on our vessel [name] from Phucket to Ho Chi Minh City on a FAM TRIP RATE. Guests paid only 100 USD per day per person, i.e. $2,800 USD in total for what normally costs $15-20k USD! We are therefore surprised to discover this chargeback despite the exceptional price granted.
Mrs. [Redacted] and her travel companion- after investigation to answer this chargeback - were very disruptive.
And of course as soon as I read that, I realized there were several more pages, so I just had to know. This is a series of emails from some type of guest manager on the ship to the head office.
We urgently need your guidance and assistance regarding Mr./Mrs. [Redacted], who joined in Phuket, Thailand.
From joining, the guests have been complaining and causing major disruption with other guests, to the point that I have to contact you.
These guests are talking extremely badly about the Ship, [Company], and the itinerary to other guests, and trying to rally guests on their thoughts. They are extremely disruptive and very abrasive to staff and are a constant nuisance, which will endeavor to bring major problems throughout the voyage.
They have also made comments to guests about other products [cruises] plus stating that they have paid 10's of thousands of dollars to come here. I have personally spoken to them, they were unhappy with the manicure received at the spa, shouted at the spa manager on embarcation. Thereafter, I spend 45 minutes listening to the guests' complaints. I sent out a message to all staff giving them a heads' up of the guests.
We have looked up their booking (attached) and we see that they are in the system as NON-REV [non-revenue, usually implies complimentary reservations] but their booking stated that they paid $2800 USD for both passengers. It also looks like they were a last-minute booking.
If I am not mistaken, Travel agents of [Company] are supposed to behavior in a certain manner?
They are claiming that they are travel agents, and I don't really understand what the motive is for this disruptive behavior.
Next message.
Sorry again to disturb you on a Sunday, our guests have just returned from the tour, while walking through the dining room during dinner, Mrs. [Redacted] has just been verbally abusive and loud in front of other guests toward myself and thereafter the [other employee]. The [Redacted]s had earlier left the guided tour of the city, and demanded that they be returned to the vessel as they felt that the dirtiness and filth of the city was unacceptable for guests to be put in this situation.
She stated that she is getting a petition together with other guests, plus other things. I am sorry, but we urgently need guidance how to handle.
And then.
Late last night, the guests requested a meeting with [employee] and myself approximately 10:30pm, we met with them accordingly and they were still extremely wound up and very difficult to reason with.
This morning was a highlight day, Orangutans of Sumatra, we arranged a private vehicle for them and they followed the excursion (at their request).
Also this morning, Captain, Staff Captain, and myself met in confidence to discuss. At this point it was decided to meet and address items with the guest upon arrival, and a plan of action.
Guests returned to the vessel at 1500 and it was arranged to sit down with them at 1800. Unfortunately, Captain was not available due to maneuvering, so [Other employee] was there and with the Sr. Receptionist there as a witness (only), in the Dining room.
The conversation lasted over an hour, and many points were discussed including Policies and behavior, as well as her expectations of [Cruise Line] and expeditions, I do believe that we may have turned them around and given confidence in their vacation, she especially apologized for her behavior over the past few days, and thereafter went up to [other employee] to apologize as well.
I asked her in the future to please address any issues directly with myself.
We will monitor the situation. I hope that it will continue with good spirits.
Thank you for all your assistance and understanding over the past days.
But of course it didn't help, and the Redacted couple ended up contacting their credit card company after the fact to dispute the charge.
Aren't people lovely?
Sorry that had nothing to do with anything, but I hope it was a bit entertaining.
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can I ask what you miss about 2019? i didn't join until last year...what was it like?
Long rant beneath
The community was just so much bigger than what it was now. There were so many creators pumping out stories and artwork left and right, everything was fresh and original, hell even with Sanders Sides running amok everything was a new concept because you could mix and matched like 8 personalities in any setting you wanted. Fearplay was a lot more popular, too. Everyone made something and everyone reblogged something
But now it's just...stale. It's the same five creators over and over again because everyone else either left on their own or were squeezed out of the community. Everything needed to be fluffy and wholesome, only soft hearted male giants or epic, badass giantesses. Fics can only be 1% angst and 99% comfort, and all of those things are just not my style.
"Well if you don't like it, create your own work" I did and I love Star Wars rip off so much, but pretty quickly once everyone else started leaving I was bled dry because I was one of the few fearplay authors left. If you want constant engagement, you have to post damn near daily, which I normally don't have the luxury of doing seeing as I work full time and write at least 10K
Not to mention the community itself is so clique-y, which I've said before. It's not those same 5 creators fault that they got so popular and everyone only flocks to them, they're just trying to make something that brings them and their friends joy, but I'm so tired of seeing the same fic/art 8 times a day on my dash. Especially when they're character types I already don't care for. And if you're not friends with those creators? Forget having your work seen outside of your mutuals, it's almost like you need those creator's stamp of approval saying "Yep, this is a good post because I like it!"
And I'll be honest, I used g/t as a way to cope with my sexual assaults and baby loss. I liked being able to create dark fics with big, oppressive forces and tiny, helpless victims as a way to vent through both POVs. I liked being in control of the concept of overpowering. And now it's like...that's not allowed. You get messages or comments telling you certain tropes are fucked, or gosh these characters are swell but this would be 10000% better if it was uwu pure sugar fluff. No, I want it to be fucked up, I want to explore darker themes. "But g/t needs to be sfw because it's a comfort!!" Yes. It's my comfort as well, you don't get to gatekeep how I make my OCs act.
Also, being an author in the fandom these days is just harder than it used to be. No one wants to sit down and read a fic, they just want to see the pretty visualizes your or someone else made instead. Before, fics FLOODED the g/t tag and it was as magically as Matilda going to the library for the first time. So many stories at your fingertips! Now it's 90% art, which is fine! Art is beautiful! I've made art myself and I've had lovely followers make art for me which I am incredibly thankful for. But it's like that shortened attention span, you know? Why sit down a read a 20K fic when I can just look at art of the crux scene in 10 seconds and get the whole vibe? You're shit out of luck if you're not a popular artist to begin with.
I could really go on and list specific blogs and the shit they've done, but that's not fair of me to do. It's not intentionally their fault. That's just how the pieces happened to fall I guess. And really right now, I'm eight times more emotional than normal because my hormones are rampaging and slagging me with baby blues. Like I said, g/t used to be my coping mech for this type of thing, but with how the fandom is now, it's just not working like it used to and is making my mood feel even worse because of it.
I may end up taking a hiatus in the very near future, I may even end up retiring this blog altogether because I don't see the point in keeping up with a fandom that doesn't make me happy anymore. I'll sleep on it of course before I make any hasty decisions, I might bounce back in a couple days once my uterus stops making me depressed, but we'll have to see.
Hey, if you made it this far into my rant, please remember to reblog stories from small creators that you like. Please remember to give newbies in the g/t tag a chance instead of waiting for your fav content creator to give the all clear and declare the new work a hit, especially since they're all their own clique and hardly seem to reblog outside of each other anyways (like a little popular club whirlwind). If you want new and fresh content, then you gotta help expand the new and fresh content, otherwise authors aren't going to be as inclined to continue to develop it.
It's been a trip, y'all. Have fun out there
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Bruises that you left behind - Travis Konecny Finale
A/N: HERE IT IS!! Finally got around to finish off the last parts. This chapter is a bit longer but hopefully you like it. Thanks to everyone who read this series, I honestly never thought I would be able to publish a nearly 20k long fic. So thank you for reading, liking, reblogging or sommenting on it. <3
Words: 5k
Warnings: Angst, no proofread (as usual), don’t know what else
Links to the previous parts:
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
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“Have you looked at the teams that could draft you?” Your voice was quiet, soft. You weren’t entirely sure if this was crossing the line or not, since you knew that he didn’t want to think about the draft to much. But you couldn’t stop yourself.
“No, Y/N. It’s not in my hands anyway.“
“Well I did. And I think-“ “ Don’t Y/N. I could literally go to any team.”
“But some are more likely and some seem nicer than others…” You could hear him let out a deep sigh, letting you know that he gave in. “ Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah, I mean Ottawa would be perfect. You already play here and I’ve almost gotten used to this city. Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg are around there as well. There not as close as Ottawa but still Canada. Maybe there’s some other smaller cities…”
“Y/N, there are no real small cities. And you can barely tolerate Ottawa and it’s one of the smaller ones… Detroit’s close and-“
“But it’s so industrial and dark and… I don’t know, Travis. I just… What if it’s somewhere far away?”
“You’ll come with me… I’m not leaving you behind and I know you don’t like cities and would rather live here on the farm but I can’t change it.”
You let out a deep breath. “Travis, I just.. I want to come with you, I do. But I’m not made for a big city. I love my friends, my family, everything we’ve got here. And dragging me into some big city far away, feels a lot like locking me up in a cage. And you know how much I value freedom.”
“But you’ll make new friends, and you’ll warm up to living in a city, just like you did with Ottawa. WE can do this, we’re going to be just fine, okay?”
When you looked into his eyes you could see how sure he was of this, so you slowly exhaled.
“Okay. But promise me that you’re not gonna do this to me. If it’s someplace too big or to constricting for me, you won’t keep me locked in a cage. Promise me you won’t clip my wings.”
He gave you a soft smile and slowly caressed your face before his expression turned serious.
“I promise I won’t do this to you.”
You were struggling to breath, trying to gasp for air.
“No, no no no. This is not…” You didn’t really know where you were going with this. Your heart was aching more than it had in a while. The things was he was right. You could almost hear 17 year old Travis saying it. He had promised you. He had promised you to not constrict you, promised you to not take you into some big dark city. How you hated cities. Or at least used to hate them.
He meant to do the right thing, at the wrong time. And how wrong he had been…
“I didn’t want you to have this life, you deserved someone better. Someone who is there for you all the time. Someone who doesn’t spent most of his time on the road while you are left behind in some apartment, some city that you hate. Before I was drafted I promised you I would never do this to you. Lock you in a cage, clip your wings as you said. You hated the city, you hated the thought of being away from your family and friends. You loved being outside, being in nature. Port Stanley, the lake, the farm. This life here is everything you hate. And I would not put you through this, no matter how much I loved you.”
This felt like a dagger straight through your heart. You really couldn’t imagine yourself living that life back then.
“I moved here for you, Travis. Because I loved you. And…” He took the words straight out of your mouth.
“That’s what I mean, Y/N. I didn’t want you to give up your dream life just for me. Can’t you see that?
“Hah…” your laugh sounded bitter, almost cruel. “How couldn’t you see how happy I was? I wanted that life Travis! You didn’t do this to me. I choose to come to Philly Travis! I made the final decisions. Because I loved you. Because it was worth it to me. But do you know what you really did? You left me! On our wedding day. And I tried to come after you but you already left. And I waited and waited and waited in our house. The house we were supposed to grown old together. Spend our time in the off season. Raise our kids.”
You paused trying to get some air in, now you felt like you were being constricted. Travis’ hand moved towards you, he tried to reach out to you but you pulled back. Took a step back, trying to get some more space between the two of you. You took a deep breath.
“But then Nolan told me where you were and that you wouldn’t come back. You never came back! So when Nolan left I burned the letter and started packing everything up. By midnight of that day I was gone.”
“I’m sorry, Y/N.”
“Don’t! Sorry just doesn’t cut it.”
There were many moments were you felt broken, shattered in the last few years. But were have you felt this low. And little. And humiliated. You felt like the invisible hand around your neck had tightened. You needed to get out of here.
“I.. can’t do this, Trav. I need… time.” You barely got those words over your lips. You could see that Travis wanted to say something, reach out to you in any way. But he didn’t. He knew better than that. So he watched you get in your car and drive off into the distance. Probably trying to put as much space as possible in between the two of you.
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You threw yourself into work after that. Week after week. Occasionally meeting up with the girls or some of the guys on the team. You knew better this time than to push Nolan out of your life. You started to help Maddie with the wedding planning, even if you felt a little tug in your heart everytime you did. You felt like you were starting to get your life back a bit. Piece by piece.
It was a Sunday afternoon in late March when you felt a sudden urge to clean your apartment. You went through the kitchen, the living room and were just about starting in your room when your eyes fell onto a drawer in your room. And suddenly you felt like you knew exactly what you had to do. You felt pretty erratic and your mind was racing.
Within 20 minutes you were sitting your car in front of a building halfway through town. And for the next 10 minutes you contemplated whether this was actually the right thing to do. Was this really what you wanted? Should you really go through with it? But you were already here, so you exited the car.
Only when you walked through the lobby you realised that you weren’t sue how to get to his apartment. He wasn’t living in the same building anymore, then you used to live in. The receptionist probably wouldn’t just let you in and you didn’t really felt like explaining your situation to the receptionist.
So instead you exited the building and made your way back to the car. You needed to talk to him, now. Before you run again.
You didn’t have his number either so you texted Nolan to text Travis to come outside. You felt pretty weird, almost like some stalker waiting in front of a building until the person left the building or so. Thankfully, it didn’t take Nolan very long to respond and telling you that he texted Travis. He also mentioned that Travis hadn’t read the text yet.
You were still staring at you phone waiting for Nolan to update you when he exited the building and walked towards you. His steps were cautious and he seemed pretty tired. When he finally was a few steps away you felt your mind catch up.
“Uhh, I was just in the neighbourhood…” What a dumb thing to say, Y/N; you thought. He knew this was a lie. You were never in this area of town. But Travis seemed more confused than anything.
“Ah, yeah okay… What’s going on?” He seemed more nervous than usual. His confidence seemed non existent at this moment. He looked like a deer in the headlights. Well, you came to him so you might as well say what you came here for.
“I thought a lot about us after that conversation, Travis.” He looked guilty at the mention of your last conversation.
“You know, the reason why I burned that letter that day was because I thought that no matter what the reason was, it wouldn’t matter. Because in the end you left me. Yes, I wanted to know the reason why you did it. But it doesn’t change anything. No reason truly justifies what you did to me. Or makes up for all the pain. It just gives me clearance. You know even with that good intention, I just don’t understand why you didn’t ever talk to me about it. We were 17 when we made that promise and I don’t think we ever brought it up again.”
Travis was shaking his head desperately, you were pretty sure he knew where this was going.
“Please don’t, Y/N. Please…” But he knew he was losing this game.
“We’re not the Y/N and Travis that we once were. Not anymore. And we never will be, Travis. Believe me I want nothing more than to go back to that time. To that couple that we used to be. But this is never going to happen Travis and we both have to accept that.”
“You don’t know that, I mean you can’t just give up. I can’t do this without you.”
“You gave up on us a long time ago. And yes, you can. You’ve done it before. Just this time, I’m going to be the one who walks away.”
“Y/N…”
You stepped towards and took his hands in yours as you leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheeks. As you pulled away you placed something into his palms.
“Goodbye, Travis”
You stepped back towards your car as he looked down at his hands.
The little velvet box with your engagement ring.
And he knew that this was it.
Game over.
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The rest of the school year passed quickly and soon summer came around. You had been so busy teaching and helping Maddie with the wedding, time had flown by quickly. You hadn’t seen Travis again and you felt yourself heal again. You knew that there would always be a piece of you that would never be over him. A little piece of your heart would belong to him. But slowly you came to terms with the fact the the rest of your heart wouldn’t.
It was mid July now and Maddie’s wedding was finally here. You had been busy all weekend and you finally felt yourself able to relax as you were sitting in a chair getting your make up done.
“He’s gonna be here. He’s invited.” Maddie glanced over her shoulder towards you as her hairstylist send her a glare for moving around.
“I know Maddie, I’ll be fine.” You weren’t sure if that was actually true but at least you could try to make yourself believe that. Maddie didn’t comment on that but you were sure that she wasn’t really believing you.
The ceremony was drawing closer as you helped with Maddie’s dress and later slipped into your dress as well.
Eventually there was a knock on the door from Kevin, who was picking you up to walk you downstairs to the ceremony. He offered to be your date. He was one of the only single guys that you knew and you were sure that I wouldn’t hurt to have him by your side.
“Ahh, of you’re you look absolutely beautiful.” He gave you a beaming smile as he escorted you to the down the stairs and outside.
“You look sharp too, Kev. A real suit guy.” You winked at him as his booming laugh shook his body.
“Okay, calm down with that roasting.” He wasn’t really serious though, he loved when you chirped him.
“When your big day coming anyway? Ever gonna settle down?” Your eyes glinted, you knew how much he wanted to get married and have kids.
He just scoffed before replying,
“Yeah, yeah. One day I will find the right girl, you just wait.”
You started to mix with other guest as more people were drawing in, since the ceremony was coming closer. You spoke to some of the guys, found Nolan and Kelsey before going of to the side the catch some air.
You overlooked the seats and the aisle leading towards a little podium and you felt that heartache again. You just couldn’t quiet shake that wedding sadness. You were lost in thought when you felt someone approaching.
You knew it was him behind you before you even turned around. The two of you had seemingly always had that. That special connection. That buzzing feeling you would get if he was close to you. The way you would always find each other in a crowded room. Like two magnets pulling towards each other.
And knowing that you would never get that with anyone else, ever, made your heart feel heavy. Travis had always been the one for you and no matter how hard you tried nobody could ever take his spot. You could love someone, yes. You could even see yourself spend your life with someone. But this person could never be him. They would never be able to make you feel what he did. You could never get that special connection, that buzzing feeling with anyone else, ever.
“I’m sure you’ve already been told but… You look stunning, Y/N!” He stepped beside you while you turned to face him. He was dressed in your favourite navy suit and a crisp white dress shirt. He wasn’t wearing a tie, the top buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned instead. He gave you a shy smile. One that told you that he wasn’t entirely sure whether he just stepped over a line or not.
“Thank you. You don’t look to bad yourself, Travis.” An you meant it. He did look good. Better than he had in months. The bags under his eyes had disappeared, he looked younger now. More like his actual age. And there was a glint in his eyes. The sparkle that you used to love so much.
He stayed silent for a bit. You could see he was deep in thought, somewhere else even though physically he was beside you. Just when you got used to the silence between you two, he spoke up again.
“You were right. We’re not the same people we once were. And we never will be. We will never be the Y/N and Travis we once were. And we will never be the couple we were then. People change and people grow. You’re not the same person at 20 than you were at 17. And you’re not the same person now than what you were at 20. And I just know that the person that I am now loves you just as much as the person I was at 20. Or the boy I was at 17. And I know that I will still love you when I’m 40. Or 70. I will never stop loving you, Y/N.”
He took a deep breath, trying to sort the words that were swirling around in his head into a sentence. His little speech left you breathless. You were sure he had been thinking about this for weeks. And he was right, people do change and people grow. But that doesn’t always mean that people grow in the same direction.
“I’ve always wanted this, you know?” He was gesturing around him. “Since I met you I knew that you were the one for me. That you were the one I was going to marry one day. You were the person I wanted to have kids with. I wanted this life for us so bad, I lost sight of us. I lost myself and the person I used to be. And when I realised that I felt like I had already pushed you into it. So I did the only thing I knew. I ran.”
Your heart felt heavy and looking at him wasn’t helping. He wasn’t looking at you, his eyes were trained on the ground but you could see the glazing over his eyes. He was close to tears and this truly hit home to you.
He had told you so many times that he didn’t intent to hurt you but you never believed him, how could you? But now you understood that he truly thought it was the only way. That he had already pushed you too far into the cage to retrack what he had done. That the only way to keep you from losing your freedom was to let you go. To leave the cage open and walk away.
He got it all wrong though. Because you didn’t feel like he was putting you in a cage or clipping your wings.
“I wanted to marry you, Travis. You weren’t pressuring me into it.” He had to know that, the last thing you wanted was for him to carry that guilt around.
He finally turned his gaze towards you and looked you in the eyes. His lips were pressed into a pained line.
“I know. I know that now.” His eyes searched for yours before he slowly took a step towards you.
He brushed a hair out of your face before giving you a quick kiss on your forehead.
“Enjoy the wedding. I might see you later.”
The gesture was so sweet, so intimate. It felt so domestic, like something he would do everyday. A painful thought crossed your brain then. It felt so domestic because he used to do it everyday.
“You ruined weddings for me.” You didn’t mean to say those words out loud, you weren’t even consciously thinking them and to be honest you thought he was out of earshot already. But he stopped in his track and turned back to you. You didn’t dare to fully turn around, only just looking over your shoulder.
“I’ve ruined a lot of things for you, Y/N. I wish I could undo it.” And with that he vanished into the crowd.
You endured the ceremony. Well maybe that’s a bit harsh. You were happy for Maddie and Provy and the ceremony was incredibly beautiful. But you couldn’t help the bitter taste in your mouth. This should have been Travis and you, 3 years ago.
You let the wedding pass over you, you enjoyed hanging out with the team, catching up with the girls, you even let Kevin drag you to the dance floor.
You tiredly let yourself fall into a chair besides Kevin. You followed his gaze to another table. Travis was sitting there, seemingly without much company. You didn’t know whether he had a date or not but by the looks of it was he here by himself. Kevin must have noticed that you were looking at Travis.
“If you’re ever going to forgive him and give him another chance, might as well do it now. I know he will wait for you for as long as you want but… you never know how long someone is going to stay in your life. Take it from someone who had both parents go through cancer and nearly lost a leg, okay? Life won’t wait around for you. Don’t let it pass you by.”
With that he rose from his chair beside you. You wanted to make some funny remark about him being all poetic and shit but he had already made his way towards the bar. You followed his advice non the less and made your way towards Travis.
“This seat taken?” He nearly fell off his chair once he realised who asked the question.
“Of course! Uh, I mean, no it’s not taken.” You chuckled at him stumbling over those words. You sat down.
“You seem lonely, no date?” The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them. Was this to much? Did you step over a line? Travis seemed to relax himself and smiled.
“Ah haha, yeah no date. You came with Kevin?” It was nonchalant but you knew the deeper meaning behind his question.
“Yeah, always better to come with a friend than alone, you know.”
He nodded agreeingly before an uncomfortable silence fell between the two of you.
The songs were a slower than before which meant they weren’t as tiring as before. And before you could stop yourself your suggestion had already crossed your lips.
“Do you wanna dance?”
An immediate smile spread across Travis’ face. “Yeah, of course. I mean if that’s what you want.”
You laughed quietly and nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that. Just don’t step on my feet.”
“I try my best.”
For a bit the two of you swayed quietly to the music. It was already rather late so there weren’t to may people on the dance floor. The song changed and you let out a dry laugh as you realised what song had come on. Travis must have notice your reaction too.
“What?” He looked confused. “What’s funny.”
“Nothing, just the song.” He stilled and listened to the music. It was a Lewis Capaldi song. And it hit closer to home than you liked.
I've been holding on to hope
That you'll come back when you can find some peace
'Cause every word that I've heard spoken
Since you left feels like an hollow street
The song perfectly seemed to portray you and Travis. You felt your emotion dwelling up, as you heard the next verse.
I've been told, I've been told to get you off my mind
But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind
Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side
You let out a choked laugh. “I wish I could get you off my mind, but I can’t. Part of me will always be yours, Trav.” You gave him small smile before singing that verse again as it was repeated.
“I've been told, I've been told to get you off my mind, but I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind. Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side.”
Travis seemed to understand your involvement with the lyrics as he gave you a sad smile.
“I was such a coward. I’m sorry Y/N.” He brushed a tear away that had started to roll down your cheek.
“I should have fought for us, instead I gave up on us. I thought that the only way to give you the freedom I promised you, was to let go of you, to leave you. I was too much of a coward to let you fly free, because I thought you’d slip away and then I lost you anyway. I know you wanted to get married too but I should have never put that much pressure on it. I’m truly sorry.”
You leaned you forehead against his as you still slowly moved with the music. The song had changed now.
“I know Trav. I know. Do you think that one day we can be Y/N and Travis again? I mean not the same as we used to but a grown version. Do you think it could work again?”
You could hear Travis holding his breath as he patiently listened to you. His eyes were trained on yours, searching for meaning behind your words.
“Yeah, I think so. If you give me another chance I will prove it to you. Okay?”
You felt your heart speeding up at his words. Take a chance, you thought, before life passes you by. But instead of answering you leaned in and slowly connected your lips with his. The kiss was slow almost shy at first before Travis started to deepen it. Once you broke apart Travis slowly stroked your cheek before murmuring,
“You’re my always, you know that right?”
Epilogue:
The two of you took it slow afterwards. Both of you needed to get to know each other again, ease into each other again. But it felt right. Being with Travis had always felt right. Once your lease was up you move in with him and you were thankful that he wasn’t living in your old house anymore. As much as you loved your old place that you had together and all the memories that came with it, you needed something else. After all you weren’t the people that you used to be then. And that was a good thing.
He never asked you to marry him. One day a little box with an new engagement ring had just been placed onto your nightstand. Travis only comment to this was that he had already proposed to you and that this time you were calling the shots when you felt ready to marry him. And whenever you felt ready the ring would be there. He let the old engagement ring be made into a pendant since it was to meaningful to your relationship to give it away and to pretty to just let it sit in a box. And now you were wearing one around your finger and one around your neck, close to your heart as Travis liked to say.
And then the day was here. You knew you were ready but that didn’t mean that you weren’t feeling a tiny bit anxious about your wedding day.
Maddie looked over your shoulder and soothingly rubbed your back.
“You’re going to be the most beautiful bride.” She gave you one of her bright smiles.
You quietly laughed. “As if Maddie. You looked like some top model or something at your wedding. But I’ll gladly take second.”
Maddie erupted in laughter while you gave her a sly smile. Her expression turned serious again as she eyed the object in your hands.
“You’re gonna have to tell him eventually, Y/N.”
She was right, of course. And you knew you had to tell him sooner or later. You couldn’t keep it from him forever.
“I’ll go and get you something to drink, some water or something.” Maddie gave you a soft smile before making her way to the door. Just before she closed the door behind her you heard her say:
“What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here now…”
You felt like your heart stopped beating for a moment. An unwanted flashback crossed your brain.
The mental picture of Nolan making his way towards you with that cautious expression on his face.
“He’s not coming, Y/N.” Those words would probably haunt you forever.
Just as you felt yourself starting to panic Travis appeared in the doorway and quickly closed the door behind him.
“Travis?!” You probably looked like you just saw the lochness monster or something. What was he even doing here?
He approached you with a sly smile on his face.
“Hey, babe.” “You’re not supposed to see me before the ceremony..” Your words lacked any kind of force or enthusiasm. And before you knew your soon to be husband had engulfed you in a hug.
“What? Who said that?” His voice was light, almost joking.
“It brings bad luck or misfortune if the groom sees the bride before the ceremony.” Your explanation sounded lame and you were actually happy to see him even if your initial surprise might let him believe otherwise.
He chuckled before giving you a quick kiss on the lips. “Ahh, that sounds pretty stupid. And you can’t blame me for wanting to say good morning to my wife.”
His eyes searched for yours while he gave you his brightest smile. You couldn’t help but chuckle at his antics. Then you remembered the object you’d held in your hands just a few moments before and you got serious again. Now was as good of a moment than ever.
“There’s something I have to tell you.” You felt yourself grow nervous, you knew there was no reason for it but you couldn’t help it.
“Don’t tell me you want to run away this time.” He was joking, a smirk plastered all over his face.
“Travis I’m serious!” At that his smile dropped. Uncertainty crossed his features.
You grabbed the little square paper you had put down moments ago.
“I’m pregnant.” You breathed out while handing him the ultrasound. His eyes nearly popped out of his head while he stared at the picture.
“I.. I … You..” He seemed lost for words and you were almost starting to get worried when he lifted him head up and looked into your eyes. He seemed to explode with happiness.
“I’m going to be a dad? This is not a joke right? We’re having a baby?” You could just nod as he picked you up and spun you around.
“Oh my god, this is the best day of my life.” He nearly knocked his head with yours as he dove in to give you a deep kiss. Once you pulled apart and you found your breath you spoke up.
“Promise me something, Travis. Promise me you won’t run again. Promise me that you’ll fight for us no matter what we face. Don’t ever let me go again, Trav.”
“Never! I promise.”
~ the end ~
#travis konecny#travis konecny imagine#travis konecny x reader#travis konency fic#nhl fic#nhl imagine#hockey imagines#philadelphia flyers#My writing
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I’m not a homewrecker. I’m not a homewrecker. I’m not a homewrecker. I’m not a homewrecker.
I swear if this man doesn’t love me up soon, I will die!
(Stories from the past two days of work about me and my boss under the cut. And one just from work.)
Okay, so first of all, let’s talk about the thing I mentioned where he had to kind of reassure me because I got somewhat anxious yesterday at work.
I absolutely hate confrontations, like a lot lot. And there were these two customers that couldn’t get along at all. An elderly man was standing right against the customer in front of him, and she had repeatedly had to tell him to back away and create some distance because she didn’t feel comfortable and he refused every single time. When I stepped in I tried to resolve it by telling him to go to my register and I would serve him as the next customer. He refused, again. So I mumbled to the lady that I would go call security, since that was not acceptable covid or not.
Well, I couldn’t get hold of the guards, then I tried the house manager for the day, ZILCH. In the end, I call my boss, hoping that he was still at work and when he thankfully answered I was like: “If it’s possible can you get up here or at least get in contact with the house manager, we have a customer that’s making another customer uncomfortable.” I feel like he could sense my tone pitching slightly up cause he said that he would be there as quickly as he could.
Well, both customers left before he managed to get up to us. And I explained the situation and said that I saw him head for another coworker of mine, which prompted my boss to want to make sure that he wasn’t harassing other people.
But before he left he stopped in his tracks, looking me in the eyes dead seriously, and was like: “Are you okay?” Probably since my distress was showing (stumbling over my words, slightly shaking hands, you know the drill)
My response was: “Yeah, thank you. Just tired, that’s all.” And his whole face fucking lit up like a child on Christmas before he then proceeded to tell me that he would talk to customer service so we could call them if the man decided to come back (since they can come to the rescue in 30 seconds roughly)
Besties!!! He gave me a nickname today. I think he just stumbled over his words or slipped up cause he rarely calls people by things other than their name. I was opening up our serving counters and he stopped me as I was walking out of our cold room. It’s not like it isn’t a nickname I’ve head before, cause I have:
“Rebexs, (the section chiefs name) has granted us 20k more for our salary budget for the pizza. Do you want some of those?”
Besties I nearly swooned, but I said yes. Like a fucking maniac cause i barely have any days off to begin with.
Then later on in the day he came to check up on me since I had the worst station in all of the house. He even asked if I needed help or if I was missing something. I forgot everything that I actually needed help with and said no. He’s just so big and tall and AHH! I just wish he wasn’t married and maybe only 10 years older than me so it wouldn’t be weird!
Any way, I still had a broken ice cream machine when he left.
Blargh! This is not about my boss, but it just makes me so annoyed. The coworker of mine who’s been working at the store for 47 years is the biggest bully in the world.
I had to chop some tomatoes and over estimated how many I needed to cut, so I used our tomato slicer instead of a regular knife. After I had cleaned it and was about to put it back on its spot, she looked at me with such venom in her words like: “Do you really use that for such a small amount. They get soggy from using it” WHICH is not true at all, she just isn’t there when he usually cut tomato slices.
Anyway I’m glad that apparently she’s slowly starting to retire this summer.
Okay okay okay, last story. I figured out the dates for those pizza shifts my boss asked me about and I sent him a whole notes app screen shot of maybe 20 something dates and he replied with the words: Konge! (which technically means king, but we use it as a way to say “Ah, that’s awsome”).
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Cut my pay and ask me to do another job also? Um, no.
I worked for a Fortune 500 company from 2004. It’s a huge building in a big engineering firm and I only have a 2 year degree so that limited my advancement some. I made good money and liked the job. In 2016, they had major cutbacks, 1200 people got terminated in my building in 1 day. I was one. I got a decent severance and was able to pay off my house (I’m not young).
I got hired back as contract the next year and worked in a different department, no bonuses, less pay and way more expensive health insurance but still good money for a guy with a 2 year degree. That work dried up and I got transferred to another department doing Job A, hands on technical testing, 3 people did it, me, another contractor and an actual employee who was our lead. I was good at Job A and wrote some programs that saved the company big money. I went above and beyond big time. That work dried up, I left Job A and I stayed in the same department but did Job B, which was project management. Pretty complex but not hands on at all. Then Covid hit and we started working from home. Job B was made for WFH, I was doing great and the new lead I worked for loved my work. But times were tough and the company held back raises for their employees (I was contract, not technically an employee). Then all contract got a 10% pay cut in June 2020. But hey, we’re all in this together and I was thankful I didn’t get laid off again. Then they gave actual employees a raise 2 weeks later. I was pissed. I had just gotten a killer review, done great work and took a pay cut and everyone else in my department got raises. I made the best of it, but I was not happy.
Then I get an IM from my manager, they need me to come back into the office and do Job A several days a week because the remaining guy that did it got a promotion. Job B was still my primary job. No raise, not even a restoration of the 10% pay cut. I had heard this was coming through the grapevine and I’m nearing retirement, so I had looked my finances. When she made the ask, I told her I wasn’t comfortable doing 2 jobs for 90% of the pay of 1. I ended up getting fired. I wasn’t happy but I was ready. I got a LOT of unemployment and insurance and missed my job, but not working was great. But my old department was hosed, because now they had to split up those 2 jobs among those who were left. People were not happy. I started getting all kinds of calls from headhunters for various other departments in that building, they were trying to lowball me, but I turned them down. All the hiring managers knew who I was and knew I could hit the ground running. Ended up getting back on in another department for 20k more a year. I had no desire to do that, but what they did was shitty. And it ended up biting them in the ass and made me more money. And I had the satisfaction of telling my boss to jump in a lake.
Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge
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