SaL anon here bestie and I'm afraid it's time. It was bound to happen at some point during the hiatus, but I feel like now that it's here we should rip the bandaid off and talk about all the reasons the sperm donor arc is some if the stupidest shit I've ever seen. So let's start with what really pissed me off this week which is KR's comments about this storyline. Can't remember the exact quote but something like "Buck needs to be happy with himself, figure out what he wants, it's important to

do that before being happy in a relationship, blah, blah, blah" to which I thought "Why indeed KR this is true which is exactly why WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS HAPPEN LAST YEAR WITH THE WHOLE TAYLOR RELATIONSHIP!!" This is exactly how that story was set up, constantly showing Buck's misery, his half-hearted ily, the chance to realize he needs more than just a person that doesn't leave to be happy. And absolutely nothing came of it. We spent a whole season with this BS only to have it end with no growth for Buck. And NOW you think it's time to address this 🙄🙄🙄??!! Also this leads into my second bitchy observation. Part of the appeal of having a break up growth arc was it was relatable. Maybe we haven't all experienced it but I'd argue most people can relate to the idea of leaving (or being left) a relationship that isn't bad but isn't what you want. Eddie's breakdown arc last season was relatable, not because we all know what PTSD like but we can all appreciate the idea of bottling up hurt and pain because we don't want to face it or keep a brave face for those we love. What exactly am I supposed to be connecting to with this donor BS?? We all don't have an innate desire to have kids, or do a big favor for a sorta friend we once knew. I have a complete emotional disconnect from this storyline and don't see that changing. So next let's talk about how fucking illogical every part of this story is (on a side note I laughed at the fans out-googling the 911 writers on so many things, reminds me of my science RNM  science sin compilations). Anyway, just why would anyone approach their friend they barely keep contact with to do this particular favor (maybe they explained but honestly I've blocked so many of those scenes from my long term memory)?? Why not a close friend (or relative even)? If you're going for emotional distance why not just an anonymous donor? The whole premise feels so contrived. Probably gotta leave it here for now since I'm getting sleepy. But i'm not close to being done (i'm not even done with this one point) so i hope ypu're ready for more of an inbox full later. Feel free to respond to what I do have because honestly bestie, this may take awhile.

My friend, as always your thoughts are perfectly on point! First, YES that growth was what SHOULD have come out of Buck having a relationship where he recognized he was clinging to something that wasn’t fulfilling for him and being the one to call it quits. But with the cheating added into the mix and then the Jonah mess, Buck didn’t end the relationship on “his” terms, he was pushed by her actions and needing to protect his friends. And ya know what? It might have worked if they had it end in 5a, and then spent 5b with Buck figuring out how to be happy with himself and what he wants. Also, what TF was 5x18 if not TWO instances of it being stated what Buck wants?! First with the Maddie “isn’t that what love is?” conversation and then the firefam “someone to have your back” conversation. 

ANYWAY, fine, Buck still needs to learn what the key to happiness is, but please tell me why after how much we had to suffer through that BT mess, we are having yet another season of Buck clinging to something that isn’t right for him and won’t make him happy, just because he thinks doing something to make someone else happy is important even if it hurts him. If the WHOLE point of the BT mess was showing Buck being a “settler” and a “clinger” then why are we right back in the same place with him settling for being a donor not a dad, and clinging on to this couple like he’s going to be ‘fun uncle Buck”? You KNOW that couple isn’t going to want a constant reminder of how they “failed” to make a baby “on their own”, or risk their kid (or Buck) getting too attached. Not to mention how awkward it would be for them to explain their sperm donor just being around all the time. Also what was the point of Hen asking if he could have a child out there and walk away, if he can JUST be a donor and nothing more, if the storyline is showing him constantly acting like he’s going to be fulling involved in this kids life? How is ANY of this helping Buck figure out how to be happy with himself when he’s still putting himself and his needs behind other people’s who are using him for parts? What happened to him figuring out the right “couch” and how to be “at ease” and Lev’s death being something that hit him super hard and made him start thinking about his life? Because all of that got abandoned in favor of this soap opera level pointless “drama”. Thanks, I hate it.

As far as connecting to the storyline, I don’t even think it’s just about some people not wanting kids and therefore not being able to connect, it’s about the way this story is being told. Because you’re right, even people without war-related PTSD could relate or at least emotionally connect to Eddie’s arc. But with Buck, we aren’t given enough/consistent info about his thoughts and feelings to connect with! He seems unsure when he talks to Hen and that “donor not dad” line really seemed to throw him for a loop. So the audience was prepared to see him struggle with this decision a bit, maybe saying “let me think about it” and then an episode or 2 later (after some interactions with a call and/or Eddie/Chris, or Maddie (and maybe Jee) make him re-evaluate things), he tells them no, because he’s realized he can’t just donate and walk away. (Even weighty arcs like the lawsuit and Eddie’s fighting arc only lasted a couple episodes so this would be easy to wrap up within the confines of 6a) Instead he says “yes” immediately without talking to Eddie, Maddie, or Bobby or taking into real account what Hen said. Okay, fine, so he’s said yes, now it’s time for the family history to come into play or a talk with Eddie or Maddie or Bobby right?! Wrong! It’s time to forget about it for a month! Then, when it finally comes back, it’s got two conflicting things happening at once. Thing one: It’s all a big joke! Buck is telling Hen about his masturbation habits (which as everyone has pointed out is actually NOT what you should do which Buck would know if he was doing all that research on what to eat and everything, but that would require the WRITERS to do that research and OPP! Either they didn’t bother, or decided this was “funnier” than the facts 🙄). Buck is getting cock-blocked by the sperm bank! Buck’s firefam is eavesdropping on the reveal when Buck get’s accosted at work and they get caught staring! How funny is that?! (🙄🙄🙄 NOT actually funny but of course it’s never addressed) But then we have thing two. Which is the fact that despite the writing playing this off as a joke, they’re also making sure Buck isn’t telling anyone besides Hen, and makes it clear he doesn’t want her to tell anyone else. Why not? Why would Buck keep this a secret from his sister that he always goes to for a listening ear? From his best friend who isn’t afraid to give him tough talks when he needs them? From his father figure whose advice he respects? The answer if this was in an earlier season with better writing would be that he knows he’s not making the right choice and isn’t ready to confront the truth. But we don’t get any indication of that either! Just Buck desperate to do his donation, apologetic to the couple when he can’t get it done and doubling down on his commitment and excitement to do this for them, and a continued joy in the whole thing, with no indication that anyone is gearing up for a big talk with him. So why was Buck sooo desperate to not let anyone know? The audience is being given two different messages at the same time! Buck is super excited about doing this in his words, and Buck is also super concerned about the people closest to him finding out that he’s doing this in his actions. But since we don’t see him expressing that worry, and we don’t see the team expressing any worry behind his back about it, the audience doesn’t know how they are supposed to be emotionally connecting to this story. I know you’ve got another ask planed on how we’re past the point of being able to satisfyingly wrap up this arc now that a baby has been made so I’ll save some rant for that, but just focused on what we have seen, the arc doesn’t make any sense on what Buck is truly feeling and therefore what the audience should be connecting to within the storyline. 

As for why they asked Buck, his buddy said it was because Buck was a good, kind, selfless person and you can’t tell that from a genetics facts sheet at the sperm bank. Which is....a) grossly manipulative, especially for someone like Buck which dude HAD to know, and b) isn’t even a tiny bit factually true! Yes kids have their own personalities and what they like and enjoy may not always line up with what their parents do, but your child being a good and kind person is sorta down to you teaching them to be good and kind. It isn’t going to just *happen* because of “genetics”. My guess is they approached him because he IS good and kind and they figured he would say yes, with the added bonus of him being a physically healthy person with on the surface level, probably “good” genetics.

Anyway, I tried to give this storyline a chance, just like I did with the impending BT breakup, but just like last season, it’s reached a point where pretty much whatever they do is going to result in Buck being the “victim” again and being the one to be “left behind” instead of being able to make the choice himself to leave a situation that isn’t good for him, meaning again, no real growth, and more of Buck being stuck having scenes and arcs entirely outside the firefam/his job. And as we saw with 4x14 and 99.9% of s5 and the BT relationship, KR doesn’t like anyone in the firefam being involved in Buck’s personal arcs. (Probably because if they WERE, he might actually learn something and be able to grow a little and we just can’t have that.)

i think bart should be allowed to cyberbully people sometimes. as a treat!! enrichment in his enclosure!!! i think sometimes someone says something shitty about superboy online and impulse shows up in their mentions calling them a string of really ugly swears in interlac. HE'S allowed to call kon's ttk a stupid and useless superpower but twitter user randomdude6875385 you shut the fuck your mouth right now,

the trap is like. okay i have love for it bc i am in an abusive relationship with the cw show supernatural and it has rotted my brain to the point where i settle for scraps but BUT the way it could've been crazyinsanegood was if dean did a hamilton-esque apology instead of saying he forgives cas. like yes cas craves forgiveness in that moment but also. like. there is no reason for him to actually be. like. forgiven. everyone lost in moriah. and then AFTER that dean was just lashing out. which the og script fleshed out the apology soooo much better like getting to the root of their fight and dean admitting that he blamed cas because he just needed someone to blame and not because cas did anything wrong. but also. imagine "if i could save his life — if i could trade his life for mine, he'd be standing here right now, and you would smile, and that would be enough." like it would never happen BUT IF IT HAD. IF ON GOD ROBERT BERENS MY MORTAL FRENEMY DID THIS FOR ME??? i would've won. i would've had EVERYTHING !!!!

haha ignore this i need to vent

i'm so fucking done i'm so fucking mad at everyone i'm pissed at my cousin for fucking me over i'm pissed at my clients for being fucking idiots i'm pissed at my city for NEVER HAVING WORKING FUCKING TRANSIT i'm not okay i'm so not fucking okay and i don't even have my fucking headphones bc they fell out of my jacket in my cousins STUPID FUCKING CAR THAT I BASICALLY PAY FOR BUT GOD FORBID SHE DRIVE ME HOME so now i get to spend over 2 hours (after i've spent 3 hours on transit/waiting for her this morning) on public transit to get home WITHOUT my music and my clothes are ruined with cat hair from my clients today so that's fucking great and OF COURSE everything in the fucking city is delayed bc WHY WOULD WE MAKE ANYTHING EASY FOR ME NO ITS FINE ILL JUST FUCKING SUFFER TO MAKE THINGA EASY FOR EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE GODFORBID I GET TO CATCH A FUCKING BREAK

it's embarrassing how long this took to sink in for me but i've finally realized the reason the vast majority of people people are so evil and insane about israel vs palestine is because they fundamentally see neither side as human

i know there's a v big push that like "don't just post abt how much you hate transphobes, talk abt how you love us" and i feel like i have a tendency to fall into that sometimes. i promise i love trans ppl so much and try my best at being an ally but my youngest sister is trans so the shit i see online and in the news fully actives my Kill Instinct and i temporarily lose control of my body and start casting hexes on ppl

my country disgusts me so much, can't wait to move abroad in a few years. people are absolutely disgusting when it comes to reacting to lgbtqia+ related stuff.

it makes me sick to my core reading comments to the rare content that promotes being open-minded and inclusive changes. to admit to wanting to commit scary violent acts to the point of fantasising about murd€r in the cruelest ways that I don't even what to remember reading... makes my head spin both with fear and disgust.

At this point idk why I even fucking look forward to anything anymore

a clip of the "fuck the pain away" montage from letterkenny was one of the things that actually got me to finally watch the show and now every time i listen to the song i feel a surge of second-hand energy that can only come from thinking about an alternate reality where i'm strong enough to beat someone up

there are many good reasons not to see avatar but if you DO see avatar definitely see the 3D version. the entire movie is effects. same movie as the first one just underwater now. also if you are wearing 3D glasses it is less obvious that you will cry like seven times.

sorry i've been thinking about this for two years straight and it's still funny i think adam should lose his patience with someone and snap at them. just a little bit. it's so gentle-sounding that it barely even sounds like he's snapping but you get my point. and i think michael should be in the back of his mind going YES WOO MURDER CHOMP BITE KILL KILL KILL KILL and adam's on the verge of throttling him to get him to shut the fuck up

I honestly wish I had never read Five Little Indians, not because it was a disappointing read, but so white women would stop clutching their pearls in the comments of my Goodreads review because I didn't like it and they did. like. sorry about your white guilt but rating a shit book 5 stars isn't going to help you.

ESPECIALLY not because in trying to defend this very badly written work, some of them have literally said that Native writers should be judged by lower standards than white writers because "that's just how they tell stories," thus implying that Native writers should be expected to be bad writers because they're Native. like, how is that an appropriate thing to say at all? I have read some INCREDIBLE works by Native writers from various tribes; like writers from all backgrounds, some are better at writing than others. acting like they're all perfect because of their ethnicity, or even worse, outright stating we should expect their work to be shitter than a white writer's, is NOT the progressive stance these (all white) commenters seem to think it is lmao. holy shit.

late night word vomit about the caiying character arc in fontaine bc i will make it happen there.

caiying accompanies you to fontaine for a commission for one of her embroidery pieces for a close family friend and you both have a relatively wonderful adventure where she confesses she's always wanted to go adventuring. anyway, it's all just set up by reinforcing that caiying is a nice person and she frets over you just about the entire trip there. she can't fight so the only alternative is to be support or help with your wounds after battles.

of course the first detour or little mission you have there that you must complete before you can finish the fontaine story is helping caiying deliver her embroidery piece to this family friend. it's just the usual running to find this person around fontaine and the convo between caiying and them is all good from the outside, but when she hands the embroidery over ... they pause. it just looks a regular depiction of some nature scenery but it can possibly be misconstrued to have some deeper meaning but caiying profusely apologizes if it came across that way. they relax afterwards and you part ways with this individual for a while.

i'm sure fucked up shit will be happening in fontaine but i don't read spoilers but i don't need to. caiying is just acting oddly while you all are dealing with shit in fontaine. even when you have breaks, you find she is writing letters or talking to people or is out and about more than she should be. she assures you she just has business to take care of - no big deal. of course, you trust her -- how can you not ? she's so sweet and speaks in a way that disarms almost everyone.

so how is it that you're standing there, watching this person you thought you knew exact revenge without any oversight from anyone else ? it's disturbing to hear caiying recount how she's been waiting for this moment -- to kill someone who has ruined her entire life -- for over ten years now, how she has laid out this plan to corner them for years and years, feigned appreciation and closeness with the person destroyed her mother's family because she knew she didn't have any usable evidence, and she gets to have it now.

" i disturb the water to catch the fish i so desire " -- she's led them here one step at a time, pretending to be unknowing and innocent.

fontaine is the nation of justice but caiying confesses she's not much of a believer anyway and would rather take care of things on herself; nobody and nothing will uphold justice for her after all.

she promises to send them off cleanly, make sure they are given proper funeral rites and not touch their other family members at the very least. and it's over in a moment -- with the simple flick of her wrist and the sharp ice ends her entire rage. and you see how stunned she is, how relieved she is, how heavy it feels to do this. and you realize you didn't know her all that much as you originally thought you did.

i'd like to leave the choice to turn her in or not up to the player. either way i think in game it'd trigger an update to voice lines -- deliveries become a little more mellow afterwards and some lines are just changed entirely.

The amazing thing is not that the stomach churns, it's that it doesn't churn more often

hmmmmm character bingo for Authority and Titus <3

- @mansplainmanipulatemalewife

VIRBATING OK OK O KO K OK OK. OK. UNDER THE CUT NGKFMGDMGKG

OS FIRST OFF:

^ ME WHEN AUTH. ME WH. ME WHEN

ok anyways

I TRIED TO STICK TO WHAT I THINK ABT SOURCE AUTHORITY AND NOT LET SYSTEM BIAS GET TO ME BUT I REALIZED. MY THOUGHTS ON AUTHORITY AND MY THOUGHTS ON PANSY ARE FAIRLY SIMILAR! SOOO. WIDJXMDNFNXMXJFJDFJ anywaYS!!!

* - everyone else EXCEPT YOU! is wrong abt Auth <3. JFNDJDF

** - THIS IS TRUE BUT ALSO i was like "I could edit this to say 'will somebody please fuck them jesus christ' that'd be so funny and true" but i was also like. Nvm that takes too muchEffort i do not have the spoons 4 that. but there's that thought anywaysJFMCMDFKKFD

BUT YEAH SO! I do not respect source Authority at all. If we met source Authority irl I would beat the shit outta that bastard. Or. Try to anyways <3. JFKDMSMF he is however Hilarious sometimes he has his moments. But also. I tHINK! SOMEBODY! SHOULD FUCKIGN KNOCK HIM DOWN A FEW PEGS! AND ALso. and . also. and also peANYWAYS ONTO TITUS!

Before I start: our synesthesia does not fucking like Titus's name I'm sorry for the weird pink. His name's shrimp coloured and weird and glitchy and shimmery I cannot replicate that shit on goddamn IbisPaint X™

SO WE BARELY KNOW SHIT ABT HIM YET but!!!!!!!!! He's fun and he's also Scary but in a good way like if u get on his good side He will literally kill & help fake murders 4 u. duh. But also hE SCARES ME! i care abt him. <3.

What we see from Harry's pov is that he Is An Asshole yes but like UNDERSTANDABLY SO!!! ofc he's an asshole to Harry & Kim thEY'RE COPS FUCK EM!

He gives off Funnyman vibes otherwise like. That character trope where Hte big scary looking dude is just v nice and funny around their friends? yeah. I imagine that's him IDK tbh <3 i will b honest we haven't played hte game In a couple months

OH I ALSOFORGOT TO ADD ANOTHER ASTERISK TO THE "if i met them irl i would beat them up" FOR HIM. IF WE MET HIM IRL HE COULD BEAT US UP fueJFDJSKDKC and "they fill me q incredibly violent urges" + "genuinely what the fuck" are also /positive & honorary. violence is our love language LMAO

The only reason we woild not like him irl is bc he is TALL [And Intimidating]. we are short and anyone way taller than us scares us. idk why <3. we have been like this our entire life. besides that tho he's cool 👍

-Electrochem

scribble of my dervish, bc dervish seemed cool asf so why not pick it--