SaL anon here bestie and I'm afraid it's time. It was bound to happen at some point during the hiatus, but I feel like now that it's here we should rip the bandaid off and talk about all the reasons the sperm donor arc is some if the stupidest shit I've ever seen. So let's start with what really pissed me off this week which is KR's comments about this storyline. Can't remember the exact quote but something like "Buck needs to be happy with himself, figure out what he wants, it's important to

do that before being happy in a relationship, blah, blah, blah" to which I thought "Why indeed KR this is true which is exactly why WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS HAPPEN LAST YEAR WITH THE WHOLE TAYLOR RELATIONSHIP!!" This is exactly how that story was set up, constantly showing Buck's misery, his half-hearted ily, the chance to realize he needs more than just a person that doesn't leave to be happy. And absolutely nothing came of it. We spent a whole season with this BS only to have it end with no growth for Buck. And NOW you think it's time to address this 🙄🙄🙄??!! Also this leads into my second bitchy observation. Part of the appeal of having a break up growth arc was it was relatable. Maybe we haven't all experienced it but I'd argue most people can relate to the idea of leaving (or being left) a relationship that isn't bad but isn't what you want. Eddie's breakdown arc last season was relatable, not because we all know what PTSD like but we can all appreciate the idea of bottling up hurt and pain because we don't want to face it or keep a brave face for those we love. What exactly am I supposed to be connecting to with this donor BS?? We all don't have an innate desire to have kids, or do a big favor for a sorta friend we once knew. I have a complete emotional disconnect from this storyline and don't see that changing. So next let's talk about how fucking illogical every part of this story is (on a side note I laughed at the fans out-googling the 911 writers on so many things, reminds me of my science RNM  science sin compilations). Anyway, just why would anyone approach their friend they barely keep contact with to do this particular favor (maybe they explained but honestly I've blocked so many of those scenes from my long term memory)?? Why not a close friend (or relative even)? If you're going for emotional distance why not just an anonymous donor? The whole premise feels so contrived. Probably gotta leave it here for now since I'm getting sleepy. But i'm not close to being done (i'm not even done with this one point) so i hope ypu're ready for more of an inbox full later. Feel free to respond to what I do have because honestly bestie, this may take awhile.

My friend, as always your thoughts are perfectly on point! First, YES that growth was what SHOULD have come out of Buck having a relationship where he recognized he was clinging to something that wasn’t fulfilling for him and being the one to call it quits. But with the cheating added into the mix and then the Jonah mess, Buck didn’t end the relationship on “his” terms, he was pushed by her actions and needing to protect his friends. And ya know what? It might have worked if they had it end in 5a, and then spent 5b with Buck figuring out how to be happy with himself and what he wants. Also, what TF was 5x18 if not TWO instances of it being stated what Buck wants?! First with the Maddie “isn’t that what love is?” conversation and then the firefam “someone to have your back” conversation. 

ANYWAY, fine, Buck still needs to learn what the key to happiness is, but please tell me why after how much we had to suffer through that BT mess, we are having yet another season of Buck clinging to something that isn’t right for him and won’t make him happy, just because he thinks doing something to make someone else happy is important even if it hurts him. If the WHOLE point of the BT mess was showing Buck being a “settler” and a “clinger” then why are we right back in the same place with him settling for being a donor not a dad, and clinging on to this couple like he’s going to be ‘fun uncle Buck”? You KNOW that couple isn’t going to want a constant reminder of how they “failed” to make a baby “on their own”, or risk their kid (or Buck) getting too attached. Not to mention how awkward it would be for them to explain their sperm donor just being around all the time. Also what was the point of Hen asking if he could have a child out there and walk away, if he can JUST be a donor and nothing more, if the storyline is showing him constantly acting like he’s going to be fulling involved in this kids life? How is ANY of this helping Buck figure out how to be happy with himself when he’s still putting himself and his needs behind other people’s who are using him for parts? What happened to him figuring out the right “couch” and how to be “at ease” and Lev’s death being something that hit him super hard and made him start thinking about his life? Because all of that got abandoned in favor of this soap opera level pointless “drama”. Thanks, I hate it.

As far as connecting to the storyline, I don’t even think it’s just about some people not wanting kids and therefore not being able to connect, it’s about the way this story is being told. Because you’re right, even people without war-related PTSD could relate or at least emotionally connect to Eddie’s arc. But with Buck, we aren’t given enough/consistent info about his thoughts and feelings to connect with! He seems unsure when he talks to Hen and that “donor not dad” line really seemed to throw him for a loop. So the audience was prepared to see him struggle with this decision a bit, maybe saying “let me think about it” and then an episode or 2 later (after some interactions with a call and/or Eddie/Chris, or Maddie (and maybe Jee) make him re-evaluate things), he tells them no, because he’s realized he can’t just donate and walk away. (Even weighty arcs like the lawsuit and Eddie’s fighting arc only lasted a couple episodes so this would be easy to wrap up within the confines of 6a) Instead he says “yes” immediately without talking to Eddie, Maddie, or Bobby or taking into real account what Hen said. Okay, fine, so he’s said yes, now it’s time for the family history to come into play or a talk with Eddie or Maddie or Bobby right?! Wrong! It’s time to forget about it for a month! Then, when it finally comes back, it’s got two conflicting things happening at once. Thing one: It’s all a big joke! Buck is telling Hen about his masturbation habits (which as everyone has pointed out is actually NOT what you should do which Buck would know if he was doing all that research on what to eat and everything, but that would require the WRITERS to do that research and OPP! Either they didn’t bother, or decided this was “funnier” than the facts 🙄). Buck is getting cock-blocked by the sperm bank! Buck’s firefam is eavesdropping on the reveal when Buck get’s accosted at work and they get caught staring! How funny is that?! (🙄🙄🙄 NOT actually funny but of course it’s never addressed) But then we have thing two. Which is the fact that despite the writing playing this off as a joke, they’re also making sure Buck isn’t telling anyone besides Hen, and makes it clear he doesn’t want her to tell anyone else. Why not? Why would Buck keep this a secret from his sister that he always goes to for a listening ear? From his best friend who isn’t afraid to give him tough talks when he needs them? From his father figure whose advice he respects? The answer if this was in an earlier season with better writing would be that he knows he’s not making the right choice and isn’t ready to confront the truth. But we don’t get any indication of that either! Just Buck desperate to do his donation, apologetic to the couple when he can’t get it done and doubling down on his commitment and excitement to do this for them, and a continued joy in the whole thing, with no indication that anyone is gearing up for a big talk with him. So why was Buck sooo desperate to not let anyone know? The audience is being given two different messages at the same time! Buck is super excited about doing this in his words, and Buck is also super concerned about the people closest to him finding out that he’s doing this in his actions. But since we don’t see him expressing that worry, and we don’t see the team expressing any worry behind his back about it, the audience doesn’t know how they are supposed to be emotionally connecting to this story. I know you’ve got another ask planed on how we’re past the point of being able to satisfyingly wrap up this arc now that a baby has been made so I’ll save some rant for that, but just focused on what we have seen, the arc doesn’t make any sense on what Buck is truly feeling and therefore what the audience should be connecting to within the storyline. 

As for why they asked Buck, his buddy said it was because Buck was a good, kind, selfless person and you can’t tell that from a genetics facts sheet at the sperm bank. Which is....a) grossly manipulative, especially for someone like Buck which dude HAD to know, and b) isn’t even a tiny bit factually true! Yes kids have their own personalities and what they like and enjoy may not always line up with what their parents do, but your child being a good and kind person is sorta down to you teaching them to be good and kind. It isn’t going to just *happen* because of “genetics”. My guess is they approached him because he IS good and kind and they figured he would say yes, with the added bonus of him being a physically healthy person with on the surface level, probably “good” genetics.

Anyway, I tried to give this storyline a chance, just like I did with the impending BT breakup, but just like last season, it’s reached a point where pretty much whatever they do is going to result in Buck being the “victim” again and being the one to be “left behind” instead of being able to make the choice himself to leave a situation that isn’t good for him, meaning again, no real growth, and more of Buck being stuck having scenes and arcs entirely outside the firefam/his job. And as we saw with 4x14 and 99.9% of s5 and the BT relationship, KR doesn’t like anyone in the firefam being involved in Buck’s personal arcs. (Probably because if they WERE, he might actually learn something and be able to grow a little and we just can’t have that.)