#so great is my fear of feeling less than. 😔
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Lol my brother is networking too much with my childhood crush and it’s too weird fhfjdjd like obviously I don’t like him but also I haven’t talked to him in like 15 years probably
#and by 15 years I mean 20 years#when I was literally like 8 or 9#I prob spoke to him a total of 5 times in my life now that I really think abt it even tho I saw him countless times#💀💀💀#actually no wait jk I def spoke to him when I was 6 or 7 when I first developed this crush#lol#but yeah now my brother went to dinner with him plus some other ppl from our organization#it’s so weird fhfhfhfhf#(for me. and for no one else. everyone else is just living normally)#it’s a networking dinner and he’s the guy they are networking with because of his job#it’s only weird cuz my brother knows lol otherwise I could have continued feeling unbothered#I don’t like him. but it’s like ptsd u know from my childhood#of not wanting to interact with him and avoiding him and running away#literally it’s not even a big deal#I’m just dumb and feel like it’s written on my forehead that I used to like him as a kid and now he’s married with a cool job#and I don’t have a spouse or a job I’m just a loser#so great is my fear of feeling less than. 😔#I am indeed such a loser. if anything. just for that#😔😔😔😔😔😔#💭.txt#is this ingratitude am I being ungrateful
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after all that Love i must have my Hater Moment or Negative Nelly Time or whatever (this is a diary entry)
i do see a. broader pattern of downplaying the extent of rick's abuse and of the show sort of, falling under its own spell sometimes, in these last few seasons.. like look, isn't it inspiring that he's changing and going to therapy EUGH and isn't this what everyone wanted, now you don't have to sit through so much cruelty! yay! and then people buying into that, buying into good rick, crybaby backstory rick, and forgetting who his other half is and why they're like that and what holds them together. it feels wrong to me because i don't think that's how it should've been, something's missing, something's inconsistent, and i think it's the focus on morty and on how rick's fucked him up that just hasn't been there in the way that i wanted it to be 😔
like, people are gushing about rick's love and capacity for change because that's what the episodes have been about mostly, that's how it's been framed, and even in the 'inside the episode' they talk about how people are finally getting to see rick and diane interact and that they wanted her to be as smart and cool as rick etc etc. and i just. i think diane is only as important or interesting as she is important in the light of their relationship. when it stops being about the grooming rick and his grandson and starts being just about rick, when we start caring about rick's dead wife as a character, we're not on the right track lol
but that's just me!!! s6 and s7 occupy this dubious space in my mind where like, i'm happy the writing's more consistent but i wish it still had that spark or that bite or i don't know what, i enjoyed them overall but i wish i enjoyed them more, i wish the episodes other than the finales felt important and treated the rick-morty dynamic more like a cool rock they want to show me and less like an afterthought or something to be dealt with in the designated plot episodes. i wish i wish i wish
it's not even that i NEED rick to be the biggest cunt ever or to stay as awful as he used to be, i don't think that's it at least, i just don't like how they went about this shift in the family.. the moments that aren't as deliberately dramatic as the argument in the lightsaber episode for example really take away from the whole thing for me. like one minute they're cool and the next it's like oooh or are they cool tho?? maybe they aren't, we need to create problems to keep the show going so they aren't! but it doesn't feel like a natural evolution to me, definitely not all of it. and that's not a concrete thing that you can judge imo, but part of it is concrete, because i do want the abuse narrative to be what it is and for it to not shove anything under the rug. i'm not sure this is how morty would act, given all the things rick's done to him and with him, and so that makes me think the writers aren't primarily interested in exploring a character like morty. but why would they be, of course what they're primarily doing is trying to create consistent, fun television, trying to juggle 'canon' and 'episodic', write good jokes, please the long time fans, keep people watching
i can't help my cynicism: fear no mort was great, i'm still worried about the general direction though 🥴 and who knows, maybe the next season's going to recontextualize these last two for me, maybe the end of the entire show will allow me an interpretation that i can't afford right now. maybe there will be moments that will blow my tits clean off and make me feel insane!! but for now i feel like i've been feeding on scraps
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Yuu know! Thinking of Yuuken! I just wanna add on to say I love him as a concept because as a transmasc, seeing how much of the fanbase is geared towards Yuu being a girl is... Disheartening. Official Game Yuu is completely ambiguous and I love that but sometimes I fear the game is geared towards the pkay being a girl. Obviously it was inevitable but still, Yuuken was like beacon of hope bc it gave us an OFFICIAL protag that was so very much NOT that, he was had a strong personality and a typically masculine body and character. It was just really nice for me - kinda like saying that everyone can enjoy twst, no matter what
[Referencing this post!]
While I think it’s true that a lot of TWST fan content is female-centric, it’s nice that the base game is so open to interpretation! I do get why you’d feel alienated at times though (as there are infrequent but subtle lines which imply that the game has already assigned Yuu a few arbitrary traits) 🥲 and feeling like you don’t “fit in” isn’t exactly a great sensation.
Something that I’ve never really managed to wrap my head around is how some people were genuinely… offended??? Insulted??? By Yuuken’s initial reveal? 🤔 I guess because he wasn’t the small, sweet, gender-ambiguous, feminine-looking (or even female) protag that some fans expected or wanted. I was also under the distinct impression that some fans felt… slighted??? Threatened??? By Yuuken simply because he, a version of Yuu that was associated with the official TWST brand, was not representative of their own interpretations of Yuu. I believe there were similar sentiments resurfacing when the light novel revealed Kuroki Yuuya (another guy) as its protagonist 💦 though Yuuya is admittedly a much less traditionally masculine character than Yuuken.
It seemed like it took people a while to warm up to them and to realize that just because other Yuus exist (even in an “official” capacity), it doesn’t invalidate the fandom’s own creations or make one Yuu “more canon” than the others. (TWST literally also made Yuuya after Yuuken, and that doesn’t mean one is “canon” and the other isn’t.) Like… the TWST staff are also allowed to make their own takes on Yuu as well, and that doesn’t mean they’re saying all other Yuus shouldn’t exist. I’ve never understood why that would be a cause for major concern???? 😔 Especially since the fandom often makes their own versions of Disney-inspired characters while also actively hoping to see TWST actually show their own twisted version of those characters. That experience was just a strange one to live through… but I think by now that those feelings have (thankfully) died down and we’ve pretty much embraced Yuuken and Yuuya 😌
I’m glad that you’re able to find comfort in Yuuken, Anon! Let’s continue enjoying this twisted rhythm together—because TWST is inclusive of everyone!
#twst manga#twisted wonderland manga#twisted wonderland light novel#twst light novel#Yuuken Enma#notes from the writing raven#advice#Yuuya Kuroki
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haven’t really been on here in ages- had all these articles I was going to share and proper nerdy posts to make but really who has the time 😔
Also gave up all my socials for Lent and felt I’d get stuck on here if I returned. Made a year at my job @ the streaming service the other day which has been… idk how I feel about it. I still work a weirdo late shift so I may or may not be in the office now, sitting alone, getting the setting sun on my cheek. The schedule is not conducive of socializing. Have thoughts on the Tony noms,, although mostly petty ones as I have been so uninterested in just about every musical this season and only technically saw DOWAR, (off-Broadway because I feared I couldn’t recreate my magical/chaotic night @ the Atlantic) and Prayer for the French Republic V pleased for their collective noms. Re: Days of Wine and Roses-Idc that they closed. Where’s their best musical? Orchestration? Some of these nominees… I have to remind myself New York, New York was up for a TON last year. Sorry to all involved but BOY was that show,,, tragic to me. Had the bones on a surface level but refused to come together for me every step of the way. My friend won the lotto post-Tonys and we went on a lark, and our lukewarm feelings translated into the show announcing its closing that very night. My power, if you will.
volunteered @ my local theatre for a night and left wanting to cry because I’ve been getting v into ~acting craft~ recently, and all the community people are so nice but I can’t do any work on any production,, so sad but nice to be asked to stage manage a One-Act Festival,,,
I do background work on my weird Monday off from work & had two really cool experiences recently! Worked on a film with less than 30 others w/ a huge, half up-and-coming star that I’m pumped about- did they even look my way? No. But they were locked in & it was a real cool set-up. Would it have been nicer if the costume and prop and makeup people didn’t rub fake dirt over all of us extras? Yes. But I got paid the union rate and met some really cool people, including a gentleman 33 years sober who was greatly moved by Days of Wine and Roses! And you know what? He brought up the show, not me.
also did a fancy streamer show I’m quite stoked on- got placed right in the action in the scene, the lead walked right up to me as he swapped with his stand-in and said hi, which is such a minimal thing (and I don’t do it to leer @ stars or w/e) but he thought he was sitting next to me the whole scene and was being friendly. The seat next to me was unfortunately empty by design, but there were a ton of takes where the only people visible were the two actors & me. Which,, is crazy. Like they cleared the room and I was just sat there. Can’t give context, but boy was I actually acting for once. To the extent I was sure I was doing too much. But no one said anything, except the friends I made hours prior on the bus during our early call time, who were thrilled on my behalf about the great placement.
trying to join the union now which is crazy, and maybe a mistake, but the hourly pay is better than my full-time job at a v reputable media company. Know my worth or something? Even if I worked on just the occasional Monday, it’d be great money, and better gigs/placement on jobs. And who knows, maybe I’d put in for even better gigs. Right now I’m chained to the 3pm-11pm, and the dogs I walk in the morning.
saw Prayer for The French Republic with my friend a while back which we sobbed through & had a truly enriching convo on life & religion and such at dinner afterwards. I also saw Teeth at Playwrights which was a wild treat, it was still in previews, literal Michael R. Jackson was in the lobby, my mother felt bad I was going alone and INSISTED I bring her with,, imagine how I felt when my tickets were center SECOND ROW and not in the fourth row, and I was sat next to my mom watching vagina-has-teeth, the musical. She was crazed when we left. I warned her prior, but once she committed to going with me, it was pointless to remind her the concept of the show. Quite the time! It’s one thing to be close enough to occasionally make eye contact with the actors, and another to be locked in an intense gaze with Steven Pasquale as he plays a pervy gynecologist, plunging his arm into someone. Was shaking in my boots. They’re hinting on moving it somewhere which I am against! but as long as it lives off-Broadway it can still rock, I think.
anyway anyway. Trying to write more and be more around art & dig myself out of this rut I’m stuck in. This time last year I was fruitlessly waiting to hear if I got a Stage Manager fellowship with the City Center. It was a nice thought at the time! Maybe one day. The market is so weird I’d have to win the lottery and have a generous offer before I’d be comfortable actually quitting my job for something else. I’m unsure. Feels like I’m wasting away, in friendly enough company at least.
been reading War and Peace (or trying to!) which I jokingly refer to as WAP to myself. Tolstoy would get a kick out of that one, I’m sure. Enjoying Matt Koplick’s Broadway Breakdown podcast which may sound very geeky to admit but he’s very well-informed and isn’t afraid to have a real opinion on modern theatre! Maybe that sounds conservative-coded, but I mean he is never downright cruel, but willing to say some shows were bad (and why! In academic detail) and I’ve got into some great peices & performers listening to his work. I recommend. See also: BdJ on the Drama podcast recently, I am not a frequent listener by any means- the only other one I think I’ve caught was Kelli’s back last year? But what a great listen. (Seriously)
anyway anyway. I love a long-read. I think my writing is half-nonsensical here, but here we are. I enjoy the tiny little community of people I follow on here. Trying to go back to this blog’s roots- inspiration! Art! Action!
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POWERBANK
they are soo cute, he is right there are days where ur battery is low, u aint sad or mad just on low battery/battery saving mood and i just sleep it off
going for a bath with my lovely toaster as we speak
IN YOUR ARMS
OUR NOODLE BOI IS A STRONG BOI THE STRONGEST FOR NOT GIVING IN, IM SOO PROUD OF HIM
im gonna chose violence today for myself and read darker times
it has only started and she hurt her wrists :(
It has been years since he last witnessed something like this, thats soo great to know
You get a panic attack because of a stupid fucking noise. You feel fucking pathetic. panic attack from phobias or fear be so stupid but hurts nevertheless ugh
You’re too embarrassed to face him. :( :( :(
You don’t have to be strong tonight. He’s got you and he always will. the way they take care of each other just them 😭😭
reading them back to back was emotional
WET DREAM LETS SWITCH IT UP YEEHAW
i have no idea how many times i have read this but it still doesnt make it any less hot, if anything it gets hotter AAAAH you got me sweating in normal room temp
THE ENGAGEMENT RING OH MY GOD *moans idk but it got hotter
“Doesn’t matter, I’ll just act surprised.” i love his noodle ass please
MAKE YOU MINE
there were three other couples too, but those weren’t of importance in this story. she basically called everyone irrelevant lol my target isnt you, leave 💀💀
“Louder”, you order, wrapping your hand around his throat to squeeze down on his veins. AAAH MOMMY I WILL BE LOUD DONT WORRY HOLY FUCK
god damnit i cant even say jungkook get in line i loved her aura before you 😭😭😭
IN PINK SOFT HOODIE WHICH HER SLEEP DRESS I REPEAT MOMMY'S PINK SOFT HOODIE boi got so lucky (pun intended)
Holy fuck, you do. Jungkook feels like passing out at the realisation. OH GOD SUCH A CUTIE PIE BUNNY IM GONNA BITE HIM
“The wall? Oh no wait, sex dumb moment.” reminds me of the elaborate please im having a dumb boy moment he is soo noodle im gonna cry
can i eat him just a lil bite cuz WHY IS HE SO CUTE AAH
Each time you call him noodle I die because HE IS SUCH A NOODLE AND CUTE AND I CRY PLEASE HE IS SO !!! I LOVE HIM
lmaooa you taking yourself on an emotional rollercoaster again ahahah I love how you went from "aah cuties" to jumping ropes with your tears TO BEING THIRSTY to crying cause he is so cute HAHAHAH
First of all, keep the thirst for her going hahhahha I love how you're more feral for her than Kook ahhaha 🤪
Thank you so much for your asks, I genuinely have such a good time reading them ahhaha 🥺😔💜
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20 24 18 for any character?
questions from here!
ill answer for all of my steps because i can't make a decision to save my life :')
18. What is their greatest fear?
Caine- hmmm, this is a difficult question for him. they kinda lost their ability to care much about themeselves after the whole farm ordeal. id probably go with identity loss though! outsider scar means theyre already disconnected from the world as is, and he likes being the puppet too much, to the point they worry that "caine" as a personality would be totally gone if he isn't careful
Cyrus- he would rather die than admit this, but losing the people he cares about. he'd rather cut them off by his own hand than let anybody else take them away from him again
Cecilia- if you asked her she'd probably say going back to the farm, but that stems more from the fear of being abandoned and helpless. its part of the reason shes so adamant about connecting and befriending people; its like a failsafe in case something happens to her
Cynthia- same with cyrus! shes just a lot more open with her worry for other people, and she wouldn't willingly give it up (though its getting harder and harder to hold on to that feeling– sometimes she wonders if the concern is real or if shes just going along with the script she was taught)
20. How do they feel about death?
Caine- he doesn't think much about it, really. they've accepted it as part of life, and if its their time to die, so be it. until then, he'll try his best to avoid it. unless the farm gets to him, then death is very much preferable
Cyrus- *looks at suitag* hm! not great! he doesn't want to die before his goals are complete, but death is unpredictable, and he doesnt like that. he wants to be in control of it, even if that means taking matters into his own hands
Cecilia- shes staring death in the face and laughing. she acts like death doesnt apply to her because she already escaped death once, so in a way, it doesnt. and if if does, then she'd be too dead to care so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Cynthia- scared. very scared of death. she lost the people she loved most because of it, both when it happened to her and when it happened to the people she cared about. shes trying so hard to keep people safe, nobody should have to go through that sort of grief, and certainly not from her hand
24. How do they typically come across to strangers? to friends? do they frequently use their telepathy to influence others' perceptions of them?
Caine- to strangers, he tends to come across as unapproachable and aloof. his friends know hes just a very confused idiot 😔 theyre very dependent on their telepathy to read moods and intentions, and they abuse their "do not percieve me" aura, but other than that, no, which is a shame. hes fighting for his life against those sus stats
Cyrus- strangers see him as prickly and cold. to friends,,,,he's not much better. but his friends are very aware its a mask he puts up, theyve seen him be warm and sappy more than once. and yes, absolutely he does. conversation and interaction are his battleground, and he prefers to have the upper hand whenever he can
Cecilia- bubbly! very sweet, extroverted, and loud. that said, the more you talk to her, the more you can see how blunt and unforgiving she can really be. its never on purpose, but if they cant handle her, then theyre not worth talking to anyway. she doesnt use her telepathy to change others perceptions of her– they can draw their own conclusions, the people that like her can tag along for the ride
Cynthia- she tends to act more polite and withdrawn to the people shes not close to, and while shes a friendly person in general, thats still a lot of people. the people shes comfortable opening up to find her to be a lot less sociable than she comes across, usually opting to share companiable silence than holding conversation. as for her telepathy, she has mixed feelings about it, but she doesnt like using it to change peoples minds
#fhr#sidestep#caine lynzal#cyrus becker#cecilia rider#cynthia garcia#ask game#im sorry this is so long i simply cannot shut up about them 😔
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Have you read any books by J. R. R. TOLKIEN? If you have, can you please recommend something for a beginner? I want to read high fantasy novels which are hopeful ( meaning you feel peaceful and hopeful while reading them ). I am not very fond of G. R. R MARTIN's novels, they make me feel sad, everybody around me including my friends mock me because i don't like reading his novels. 😔 So i am truly lost and i don't know where to start. Please recommend some of you favorite books and authors as well. Thank you, i hope i didn't waste too much of your time and if you are Martin 's fan, i hope i didn't offend you by writing this.
Hello hello!🤗👋
Unfortunately, I'm not familiar with these authors, so I can't recommend you anything from them. I'm sorry!💖
But in general, I'd love to recommend books I enjoy!😊❤️❤️
Classic literature:
• Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë (it contains religious themes and God plays an important role in certain part of the plot. I think it's portrayed in a positive way in that case though. But of course, I won't tell you what to like! Also, it's quite fast paced, but still dives deep into emotions and chemistry. I think it can be labeled as a type of gothic.)
• Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (if you like regency and enemies to lovers, you'll find this book pretty nice. This one has a much slower pace than Jane Eyre. "Romantic academia" aesthetic.)
• The Picture Of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde (gothic, portrays heavy themes, such as su! c! de and graphic mu rd e®, so beware if you're triggered by those things. It's basically a moral trip through the mindset of evil and insane, of course nothing to follow into your life as a positive role model. Philosophical.)
A book I think is great for healing and is my comfort book:
• The Midnight Library - Matt Haig (Deals with the theme of su! c! de, but I think it does it well and the lesson/meaning it passes through its pages is a every emotional and beautiful one. This book is great comfort for me actually and has helped me before, where life was less than kind. It talks about the weight of our existence and how it impacts everything and everyone, even if we don't realize it right now.)
Murder mysteries:
• Anything by Agatha Christie!! I seriously adore her and Poirot is so intriguing. What stands out me about her books compared to other murder mysteries I've read, is that it investigates the case by a psychological level. It doesn't just look at footprints, fingerprints and DNA. It unravels all the skein of human nature, its emotions and mental states.
High fantasy:
• Girl, Serpent, Thorn - Melissa Bashardoust (I've read high fantasy a couple of times before, but this one was the one I actually loved. It doesn't normalize death and murder, like a lot of high fantasy books I've come across and the characters are actually meaningful, having their own personalities, beliefs, fears and goals. Also, the protagonist is a bisexual icon and the book actually portrays healthy romance✨ Now, it has a gripping plot throughout the book and a lot of adrenaline, so idk if you're going to like it, since you told me you wanted something more calm and soothing.😅 But the internal development of the protagonist is so inspiring. How she learns to love herself and embrace who she is, whilst finding ways to use her abilities to their fullest potential.)
Also, liking something different from someone else is completely okay!! No one should ever make fun of you for your taste in things. You are a being as much entitled to their opinion as anyone else and you shouldn't suffocate your voice. You have every right to love the things you want to love and dislike the things you want to dislike (as long as you don't shame people who do like those things—I'm not saying you shame them, I'm talking in general to anyone reading this!💖).
And you didn't waste my time, sweetie! I enjoyed sharing my book recs with you.💖💖
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3, 7, 8, 11, 12, 22 (for summer of suffering 😌) !!! ily baby <3
i love you i love you i love you
3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?
The main characters nearly always have some sort of established relationship. Of my eight fics the only one where that isn't true is blaze of fear and they do still already know about each other to some extent. Those established relationships are also usually in the past or severally damaged. They're almost always Alternate Universe as well.
7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?
I'm proud of a lot of Pas De Deux that way. I like to think the locations actually feel like places the characters are going, and that you could go to. Especially ABT, I hope that it feels lived in. I re-read Soon or Never the other day, which I've avoided for about three years and was actually very proud of myself for how I made their house feel and the way it slowly goes from this symbol of what Christen perceives as this other version of herself's failure to feeling like home.
Also, as literally only you know Syd the coffee shop in summer of suffering was our magnum opus.
8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?
Saviour Complex Phoebe Bridgers 😔 and Twin Size Mattress The Front Bottoms
11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?
I mean, currently I just write whichever pairing you tell me to!!!! and i love it!!!!
But outside of that and prior to it I always liked mcdrai best. Something about the way Connor thinks (in my fictionalised versions of him) is very appealing to me, because it makes his narration easier than, say, Christens—Christen's thought processes (in my fictional versions, and specifically pdd) circle the drain so to speak, whereas Connor links A to B, sometimes he accidentally thinks that answers Z, but its still a different style and plays off Leon in a way I really enjoy; I also love that their relationship is more or less predicated on just. unhinged levels of devotion. pldadam is fun to write because its fundamentally like. someone has to leave first this is a very old story there is no other version of this story!
12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?
I will read a/b/o if its handled in the exact way I prefer which I didn't used. Otherwise no. I'm particular lmao
22. Who is your favorite character in [summer of suffering] and why?
Adam <3 He's so so in love and he can't see the forrest for the trees
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Every time I think I'm safe from heatwaves we get another one.
Maui is also on fire.
How much of our permafrost have we lost? I don't even want to check.
Will my favourite extant wild animal (emperor penguins) still be around in a hundred years?
Yeah it's one of these days 😔
And through all of this my bank is like 500 in the red. My overdraft is only 300. Bruh. Agony and pain on planet earth
But still I'm silly 🥺
Haven't been able to do my laundry so I'm not snuggling Sly because I'm in less than clean pajamas. Why did they raise the laundry cost so much :(
Talking to my mom and she's visiting family and seeing my cousins who are healthy normal well adjusted boys with ADHD with good lives and healthy support networks and functional social lives has made her realize how much she allowed my birth father to ruin my brother and me and she's shown so much remorse and yeah it is partially her fault but I'm telling her over and over that she was just as much taken advantage of by that monster as we were and it's wrong for her to shoulder the entirety of the blame when it wouldn't have happened if she had been married to a better person. Idk.
Her feeling so much remorse has actually made her soften her heart enough that she wants to send me the quilt grandma made for me though. Or is it the quilt great grandma made for me. She doesn't know. Idk how she'd be able to forget that. I fear her memory is just dying. Maybe she's so scared of my ability to remember things because it's showing to her she might be getting one of those mental diseases you get for memory with age. Idk. I know we're incompatible to live together and our relationship is still not healthy but I do care about her a lot. Don't want her to get sick or die. Really afraid of death and people I care about dying.
I'm not being torn apart mentally this time and I contribute that to my new antipsychotics but it's still pretty depression to think about all of this.
It's too hot to do anything so I'm just sorta stuck right now. Gotta keep telling myself that my financial distress will eventually become less scary. Because eventually my roommate won't need me to cover his expenses and eventually the government will have to raise my pension and eventually the housing market will collapse and eventually all the old money will die. Or whatever. Having a scary negative bank account and getting insufficient funds charges are just stupid monkey fake problems it doesn't mean I'm going to get hurt it doesn't mean I'm going to starve it doesn't mean I'm going to die. Just keep telling myself this. But it's still scary. I don't like feeling like I owe things. I know I can probably go to my bank and get them to reverse certain fees even make them increase my overdraft limit perhaps. Idk.
I just wish things could get better already you know? I get so tired all the time.
Apparently we're going camping on Friday. I'm all ready. Hoping my plants will be fine. I will water them well before we go. We're only going to be gone for half a week. Timed it around when I get paid so I can be away from civilization for the last days before my money comes in and puts by bank out of the negative. Roommate still says he doesn't know if he'll be able to cover all his own expenses this month yet. Big frustrated sigh. I don't just help because I need rent paid to keep the roof over my own head but also because I care. Maybe I care too much. People insist those with brains like mine do not care so I might as well prove them right. Less pain for me. But I just care. I care too much. Maybe I care because it helps me survive. I don't know.
Maybe the fact that I did have the period of my early years where my grandparents took care of me has actually made my life harder. Because I got a taste of how things should be so I'm less resilient to being hurt. I don't know if I'm conveying that thought well enough. Basically it allowed me to not have as thick of skin or whatever. Idk. I wonder if there will ever be a point in my relationship with my mom where we could live together. Humans are supposed to care for each other. God.
My cousins are all able to grow up. I am not. I am stunted and broken and frozen. Even if I thrive it's like I'm a bonsai tree compared to trees growing wild. I need special pruning. I need special access to light and water. I need special fertilizer. I can never reach my full potential. Can I thrive? Some think so. Some don't. If I get the best care possible I can look nice. But is that thriving? Is it inhumane regardless? Who can say. But there's no space for me to live "properly". If that makes sense.
How traumatic is it that it's integral to the queer experience, the neurodivergent experience, the disabled experience, that we have to fight just to have space to live? Humanity has built boxes that we now have to stake out an existence within the parameters of. To earn the right to exist.
Hoping I enjoy our camping trip. I'm not expecting it to fix me but I am fully anticipating that I enjoy it. Assuming I'm able to still enjoy things.
I have everything I need for the trip. I was responsible. Please don't let it be ruined.
I wish I'd hear back from my surgeon. I was supposed to have my surgery in May. Fucking May. My summer could have been so much better.
I wish me and Cazza could live on the farm. Was thinking about how if I had some money I could buy the land around the house back and set up a wind farm. Clean energy you know? Solar would be great out there too. I wouldn't even have to run a traditional farm. We need energy. I'd that my purpose? Hmm. If I was one of those assholes I could mine crypto too.
I think about having a solarium. You know one of those cool rooms with the big rounded ceiling windows? I would love to have that in the middle of nowhere and just have sleepovers out there. When it rains it would hit and run down those windows and look and sound really nice. I really just am made for the steppe. One or two special trees, wide open space, big sky. If reincarnation is real I hope I get to be Mongolian.
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im too big of a coward to play normal on my own i cannottttt do it my role is vital and i cant play it alone!!! my role is resident paranoid and by god i play it well 😁😁 my friend is very. LOUD, they only use the fuckin chainsaw to cut down trees. EFFECTIVE YES, BUT LOUD!!!!! so i need to stand back and watch very very closely to see if anything comes for us. IM SCARED TO BE SNUCK UP ON AGAIN so now im just. my paranoia has tripled in that game and hey! i havent gotten snuck up on since! so id say its technically a win (ramble)
thats something thats different with sons of the forest, yesterday i was alone for like. an decent amount of time when we played and i didnt feel hardly scared at all. GRANTED, it wasnt mutant spawning time yet but even in the forest im scared day 1 to day 100 baby. no, it was relaxing even. SOTF is just. rgRGgrrg
because the forest is an older game its less? i mean sons of the forest is just better like better graphics, better ai, etc etc etc which is great, its a more fulfilling experience in a sense? the game is fucking gorgeous!! the cannibal ai is really interesting, the animals are better ETC like idk to me its just more tranquil and im relaxed more often then not
WITH THE FOREST THOUGH? existential dread all the way through. the beginning week is fairly easy, we usually have some kind of base by then ofc, but after that week passes? im not the man i used to be 💀 i get quieter because i need to listen for mutants, im CONSTANTLY looking around. ive learned that if i see one, i need to be super clear about it (unlike my bestie who literally just saw girl mutant behind me and booked it 😁) im a lot quieter about being startled in that game until something starts chasing me MAINLY so i dont accidentally scare my bestie cuz like.
the forest entire ATMOSPHERE is a little desolate, like i love this game, but god i feel. ITS LIKE YR JUST WAITING TILL SOMETHING GETS YOU IT FEELS REALLY AWFUL SKFJSF for me it honestly has similar vibes to squirrel stapler???? not good KSFJS
anyways no it kills me the amount of chest pain and shaky hands the forest has given me, youd think i just faced god bro
nope! good ol johnny boy and armsy pretty much exclusively? IDK WHY THAT IS.. virginia isnt very loud so i have a hard time hearing her but i tend to see her way before she gets close, and shes not super hard to fight for me? lure her to the water and have her charge into it 🙄 easy peasy. cowman a little harder, they are sporadic and they turn on a dime which is not good! theyre huge. but the charge into the water thing can work on them too. me and my friend need to kill one of those actually, we have all the other mutant heads on our wall except that one 😔
armsy cant really be lured like that? everything about armsy is just. my nightmare. huge, loud, fast. not cool!! we can kill them fairly easily but even still like. IM STILL SCARED EVEN IF I KNOW THERES BIGGER THREATS its so personal between us bro
also i heard if you use the???? rage thing the ANGER BALL you can attract like. a group of SIX MUTANTS, fuck all that noise. i want the peace ball actually thatd be so dope
overall its just. horrible to be honest, and specifically like I CANT HANDLE LIVING ANYWHERE ELSE THAN WHERE WE ALWAYS LIVE (which is where markiplier made his base in the more recent forest playthru 💀) cuz its fairly open?? AND EVEN WHEN ITS OPEN IM STILL SCARED
imagine the fear when we have to go deeper into the forest for any reason 😀
unimaginable, downright painful i know this game has taken years off my life at this point. ITS JSUT SO AWFUL MANN because now that the trees are thicker, you've taken one of my vital senses away which is sight! i am now afraid and have to rely on my ears alone! (cicerocore tbh)
its. SICKENNING I HATE IT SO MUCH RGRGAGR even though i know im strong and i fuck up those cannibals like no tomorrow, even the mutants we dont struggle that much with (besides maybe the blue variants) its still SCARYYY no i hate it. my friend always makes me go with her like okay time to loot cloth from the village cmon bestie lets go :]]
. okay. like I WANNA BE THERE WITH HER BUT no i do not, i just. theyre CARELESS my MC instincts kick in cuz theyre careless in minecraft to and im like. constantly jumping forward in dark caves to kill whatever is in front of us so it wont kill her and leave me alone KSJFS so its like that but worse! i need to listen for both our sakes its exhausting 💀💀 and most of the time there is some kind of mutant in the forest, like only ONCE WE WENT and there was no mutant at the village
ironically despite that run through being flawless, no cannibals no mutants, i was still completely petrified like there was, it was so. NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS IN THE FOREST its just waiting for when something inevitably jumps out at you. but nothing did and ive never felt more uncomfortable in my lifee it was horrible. that one time was directly after we were dealing with girl mutant too, awful vibes the forest like
THATS THE EASIEST WAY TO SUM IT UP, the forest gives absolutely RANCID vibes truly terrible. sons of the forest is pretty and relaxing at times and just nice and the forest?? no its horrific its just terrible awful energy, i love it. this game is gonna kill me but i love it!!
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Being honest, I don't like Age of Calamity's Zelink
I don't know, coming from how great their relationship was developed in Botw and how it helped with both Zelda's and Link's development, AoC Zelink just feels cheap and flat.
Like, yeah, AoC fed us shippers with much more content than we could ever expect from Botw (and something inside me is telling me that also from Botw 2) but quantity doesn't automatically mean quality.
In general I'm not a big fan of the AoC's STORY (because I haven't played it because I'm kinda poor) mainly because I can't help but feel like it completely gets rid of everything that made Botw so different from the rest of the games in the franchise (only talking about story) making everything much more generic despite being 3 hours of cutscenes (including the DLC) meanwhile BOTW takes more or less 40 minutes (also including DLC), this including the already mentioned couple.
Because let's compare it, in Botw they got from hating each other (or at least disliking each other) due to the reputation that was built upon them , to giving the chance to get to know and understand each other and their struggles, to finally find someone to trust and tell their deepest fears, to finally love each other so much to the point of being willing to die for said loved one (And this is Pre Calamity, don't even get me started with everything that happens after Link's awakening). Meanwhile in AoC they just met, Link TRIES to understand Zelda (since he just got the master sword and hasn't had to live with the threat his entire life) and keeps protecting her over and over again, and in the meantime Zelda finds him cute and technically awakens her powers because of him.
But they didn't really spend time alone to talk, most of the time (if not all the time) they were with Impa, Terrako or someone else, and the ones who gave support to Zelda were most of the time them, not Link. Terrako was in this timeline Zelda's biggest comfort because he was part of her past, and also kinda Impa because they've known each other for a long time, but there's nothing that brings Link and Zelda together.
And at first I didn't mind since I thought maybe in this universe their relationship wasn't meant to be romantic but with the DLC there's no doubt they wanted us to ship them since they won't stop throwing "romantic" scenes at our faces but it seems like they thought we liked this couple for the "princess and knight" trope (which in part is true) but there's a lot more that makes this couple different.
In Botw they are two people forced from a very young age to carry the world on their own making them become "perfect", isolating them and forcing them to abandon everything they enjoy. But, despite having trouble in the beginning, they find each other and finally feel like they are allowed to become their true selves, something they can't do even with their closest ones like Urbosa or Mipha.
(And Mipha and Miphlink is a whole other interesting case to compare to their AoC counterpart but that's for another post)
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying AoC Zelink is outrageous, I'm just saying it's kind of mediocre.
Because while BOTW Zelink is the pure definition of the silent princess, of "endless love" for being able to surpass their differences, their difficult surroundings, their pasts, memory loss, a 100 years of separation, literal death, the fucking apocalypse and what could be consider Satan.
AoC Zelink is more... "Cute and intelligent girl 💅 with problems 😔 and a shitty father 😠 meets cute boy 😍 when the apocalypse is about to come 😰😭, the rest is history ~❤️✨"
(Ok not like that but you get my point)
Who knows, perhaps there are some details that could change my opinion if I actually played the game, but from screenshots that I've seen from the sidequests there's just "Link doing something nice for Zelda" (still some of them say that someone else asked him to do so) . And even if we cut Botw's diary entries, compare some memories to what could be considered their counterparts in AoC and tell me they are the same.
Link witnessing a fight between Zelda and her father....
Zelda in the springs...
Zelda crying after the Calamity awakens and Link comforting her....
Zelda awakening her powers for Link....
Do they honestly have the same impact for you?
Idk, if you prefer AoC's Zelink to BOTW it's ok, everyone is free to like whatever they want, but this personally isn't my cup of tea.
(And don't get me wrong, I don't entirely hate AoC's story there are some good things here and there but that's for another post)
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Your new roleswap pic makes me curious-- and sorry if you already delved into this; I looked through your tags but my phone sometimes doesn't load older posts correctly-- Isa and Mira seem disconnected by story start, but what was their relationship like when they were younger? Were they closer as children? Were they just as contentious as canon? Did they compete for the golden child title until Isa got fed up?
Hi yes!! No i hadn't written about it but !! that's a great question 👀 Actually as kids they were sorta like in canon: Isabela was the golden child and Mirabel was the baby scapegoat, and it wasn't until Isabela's big mental breakdown that the status quo changed. I imagine scapegoat Isabela would have treated Mirabel mostly the same as we speculate canon Isabela would.
As I see it, she was probably mean but a little bit less so than what we see in the movie. In the film, Isabela is this close )( to collapse. I think she's taking out her anger and frustration on Mirabel, but if she were a bit less stressed, even if she didn't actually have a good relationship with Mirabel, she wouldn't seek her out just to bully her so much.
I imagine they were closer when Mirabel was little - she inspired a lot of tenderness in Isabela. She would drag her around to play when she was just a toddler and shower her in flowers and spin around with her, like classic sister things when you're both little right? Nothing unusual there. Then Mirabel didn't get her gift, Isabela was taken under Alma's wing, she learned to blame everything on Mirabel like the adults did, you know cos baby see baby do, probably mostly ignored her and made the ocassional mean comment here and there, you know, relatively chill stuff compared to what happens next.
But, okay as I mentioned in this post, there IS a difference this time around. Before Mirabel was even born, Bruno gave Isabela a prophecy, telling her she'll find "a person who will love her very, very much". It was a girl. Now, baby Isabela didn't know what a "gay" was back then but she already thought boys were gross, and the girl in the prophecy was soooooo pretty. She was just happy to know she was going to find love and be happy. When Mirabel was born, and during her first years of life, she didn't even notice the resemblance, and if she did, well, that was probably just a coincidence. It wasn't until Mirabel was like 10 that she could no longer escape the realization that the girl in the prophecy was her sister, and that was one of the causes behind her breakdown. She didn't have any feelings for her (yet), but the horror and fear and stress were driving her insane, she couldn't take it anymore, and as she fell apart worse and worse and eventually exploded, she became incredibly cruel towards Mirabel, pushing her away, insulting her, trying to scare her away, trying to convince her - and herself - that she actually hated her.
Now, after Isabela's fall from grace, Mirabel became the golden child and received all of the love and validation she always wanted, so it's not like Isabela bullying broke her psyche or anything. She just thought she was a huge bitch who would do the world a service if she shut the fuck up. She's a little bit hurt but mostly angry, and eventually learns to just talk shit about her behind her back, maybe laugh a little, and discreetly despise her alongside everyone else in the family. She's not the only one who has trouble with Isabela, because she'll passive-aggrsively will insult anyone who crosses her path. Looking back, Mirabel mostly finds herself baffled, wondering what the fuck was wrong with her sister, but bringing it up always earns her an "I wonder that too mija I wonder too 😔" like they just think Isabela became a queer coded villain overnight one day and don't see the point in asking why.
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okay but re the WIPs with asks there is a part of me that wants to be The Worst and I'm morbidly curious about both "Kink 😔 but with world building" and "ABO worldbuilding ONLY addition" but also "Wine tma somewhere else" sounds great
Ok so this is mortifying and you are evil but I’m going to share anyway thanks 😭
Kink but with worldbuilding is kink based on several fics where Jon is the institutes free use as a job and I wanted to look at like the morality of that and how you get there and pov on it and also I think Martin would be very into it and also be very catholic about being into it
“You know I’m ace, and I love you, but you aren’t attractive to me, no one is. I can’t do that kind of thing without wondering if I’m doing it right. But if I’m just used by a bunch of anonymous people who make all the decisions, then I don’t have to be anxious. It’s not something I could do wrong if I wanted because it’s something that’s happening to me, not the other way around. I don’t nessicarily enjoy it the same way as you, but it does feel nice and get rid of the stress, and I think it would be helpful especially with you.”
ABO but worldbuilding is honestly less ABO and more sub/dom but I wanted to look into how that would shape culture and relationships and how to make being biologically drawn to something moral
“That… makes sense,” Sasha says hesitantly “but isn’t that impaired consent? Like, if you consent while drugged, that doesn’t count, isn’t that the same?”
“No,” Jon says patiently “because he is also impaired, just in a different way, and it’s not impairment it’s just… biology. Like, we’re all ace, right? So in this metaphor, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, I’m allo. Me and Martin are drawn to taking and giving control. You don’t call allo people impaired for being attracted to others, they’re just naturally more inclined to do something than aces are.”
Wine is literally just a shit post for TMA. If you’ve ever listened to the podcast the thrilling adventure hour with their beyond belief segments it’s about these two ridiculously drunk and rich mediums for supernatural did just keep kind of accidentally stumbling into it while all they really want to do is make out and get more drunk like they face a sucubus and just call dibs and I think jmart deserves to be drunk and silly
“My love for big spiders would cancel our Jon’s fear of them-“
“That’s really not how this works-“
“So that’s really all our fears off the list, sorry. Oh, unless you turned into a worm I guess, nasty buggers.”
The monster turns into a giant tremors-esque worm as Jon and Martin look on unimpressed.
“We’re really only scared of the tiny worms that can burrow,” Jon says, gesturing to the size of the scars on his face.
“Oh no! Jon, a worm!” Martin exclaims as the monster shrinks.
“I’ll get it dear,” Jon says as he takes off his shoe to squash it.
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hello if you have time could you provide a list of tracks ferrari are supposed to struggle more at (on paper at least)? just need to set my expectations for the upcoming races bc I just realized we still have a loooong way to go 😪
Hey! No problem 💖🙏🏻
Okay so I did some research on this. Here's a good article that gives a comprehensive overview of the tracks and their different characteristics. So far they've been good at high downforce rear limited circuits (Imola and Monaco for example.) Monaco especially worked to their advantage because it's got relatively short straights and low-speed corners (the PU is obviously much stronger than last year's, but they still lack race pace compared to, say, McLaren, which leaves them vulnerable on long high-speed straights.)
Baku suited their car in theory, but they were clearly hindered by that tyre deg issue that's sort of been bothering them on and off to some degree pretty much since the start of the season - look at Seb's tyre longevity and performance in Baku compared to Charles's. Then obviously we got to France and...I already knew it wasn't going to be a track that favours their car but holy fuck. Charles reiterated that they had an issue with the tyres - he thought the stint on hards was marginally better but struggled on the mediums - and apparently Carlos has reported that his tyre deg was twice as bad as the cars around him. That's obviously a major issue that they need to address quite urgently because it's seriously hurting their chances at bagging good results.
Now, back to the article... Tracks like Silverstone and Spa feature high downforce sequences that can see the drivers pulling up to 6G in some cases. However the long straights and high-speed corners on these sectors mean that power still has a big influence on the pecking order. (...) Silverstone, Spa and Suzuka have some of the highest cornering speeds on the F1 calendar, so these tracks are naturally quite tough on tyres. I uh...would maybe start worrying about those. 😳
Also, not to say anything, but Monza is considered a power circuit and has those long straights and uh... Concern. Panic. Fear. 😔
Then there's some - like Mexico and Austria - that could be a toss-up? Like, on one hand both of these circuits feature long straights and few high-downforce corners, but on the other they're said to be usually kind to tyres and, well, Charles somehow got a podium in Austria last year despite the car obviously lacking straight line speed so who knows - come to think of it he also got a podium in Silverstone last season, which is also just confusing given the lack of pace that damn car had sjdefrjgt I feel like Mexico was one of the tracks Charles mentioned when asked where they're predicting they might be strong this season, but of course I'm not 100% on that right now. I know he definitely said Singapore should in theory be a good track for Ferrari because it resembles Monaco but of course then Singapore got nuked off the calendar and so far the proposed alternatives aren't looking great so :/
Uh...Brazil again I feel like I can't really gauge, especially since they didn't race there last year so I have no point of reference for a less powerful PU. Just looking at the Wiki description of the track, it says it follows the ups and downs of hilly ground, which makes it harder to drive and demands more power from the car's engines. It's also got long high-speed straights which concerns me.
What else is there... I'm obviously not sure about the new/returning tracks like Zandvoort and Saudi Arabia - despite being a street circuit (which would likely help with the tyre deg issue) it's supposed to really fast so Idk. Not sure about COTA either. Abu Dhabi shouldn't eat through their tyres as drastically in theory, but they were absolutely nowhere when they raced there last year and complained about their tyres iirc so not sure about that one either.
I've heard that Hungary might be one of their high points this season if all goes well - again, it's a high downforce track with relatively short straights and a bunch of turns and corners. Again, Wiki chipping in here: Some say that the Hungaroring is similar in style to Circuit de Monaco, due to its tight and twisty corners.
Honestly...I have no idea asjwdefrjg I feel like realistically we've run out of tracks they can be strong at and that it's generally going to be more of a struggle from here on out, especially now that they've switched to developing the 2022 spec car 100% so the SF21 isn't likely going to be receiving that much attention anymore in terms of upgrade packages, but hey, I'll happily be proven wrong. It really depends on whether they can figure out why that tyre degradation is affecting them so badly - on different compounds as well - and whether this is something that's even fixable this year.
#replies#anonymous#discussions and predictions#this got away from me 😳 sorry about that!#🙈#long post
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🌺💘🌷 get to know your mutuals ! when you get this, it means someone wants to know more about you, so list 5 things about yourself you want your followers to know. they can be as simple as your age or as complex as your deepest fear, as long as it’s something you’re comfortable with sharing. when you’re done, send this to 10 people you want to get to know better ! 🌷💘🌺
hiiii, my loves!!! 💙 i am sooo sorry this is soo late!!! but i hope you don't mind me answering it like this because i reaaally suck in thinking of facts about myself 😩 I LOOOVE YOU ALL!!!
ok ok so facts about me!! hmm!! 😚
i am studying medical technology as a pre-med but my first love really is nursing. 💙 i took nursing for three years only to find out in my final year that i can't continue doing so because i had an illness (something i acquired from too much work and stress cause by the course hehe) and thus i had to let go of my dream right after i realized just how badly i want to be a nurse and help cure other people. that was the lowest point of my life and i am vv glad i am better now. hehe. (this is a reaaally long story and i don't wanna bore u guys too much 😩) but yeah. after i got an 'ok' signal from my doctor, i decided to pursue medicine still coz it's really what i want to be and so here we are!! yey!!
my favorite color is yellow!! 💛 i remember how and when i decided that it was my favorite. ok so back in grade school, whenever someone has a birthday, we had our classroom decorated with balloons. and like, i remember entering the classroom in the morning and seeing everything placed and asking our teacher who's birthday it was!! and i remember the jolt of happiness every time i did. and every single time, they used yellow balloons. so ig my mind has equated yellow with that happiness i felt so every time i see anything yellow, my heart feels light and warm ✨
i had a dog and i looved him so so dearly,, his name was summer!! 💙 but he's now running free in the heavens with all the little floof angels there like him. when he passed, i was in the middle of studying for a huuge test in the city and i was at a study hub. man, i cried so so hard but i had to make a report so i was crying and typing and writing all at the same time!! the people around me must have thought i was crazy 😂 but yeah. i wasn't done crying for about 3 days. 😔
i can't sing like i used to anymore. hmm i sorta ruined my vocal cords and now i can't even speak in long periods of time without having to take a break and drink water. hehe. and this happened roughly at the same time i was told i can't pursue nursing anymore. so i basically lost everything i looved in less than a year. BUT!!! i just can't let go of singing so hmm even though i don't sound the same anymore i still choose to sing hehe. 🥰
i loooove brightwin!!! 💙 *raises my i love brightwin banner!!*
thank youu sooo much for sending these my looves!! 💙 i am so sooorry i really suck at picking facts ahhck!! but yeah. i loff you all!! i'm gonna tag u all if ever yall see this 😘 : @purnotas @gunsatthaphan @hourtohournotetonote118 @gunsmiles @aridante ✨ have a great day mi looves!!
#purnotas#gunsmiles#gunattaphan#hourtohournotetonote118#aridante#sumaya#amanda#doreen#lasya#leila#💌 ask.#why does this make my life so sad?? 😅#hmm...yeah storms come and go#and i'm glad i'm past that chapter of my life 💙#i'm grateful for everyone who helped me find my ground again and really. vvv thankful of all the lessons i've learned. 💙#i'm fine now!!! 💙 much much happier!!! hehe
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hi minnie <3 i’m doing alright! i just feel kind of tired lately especially with all my hw 🥺 school’s been going pretty good for me, but i have a math retest coming up (i got a 66 the first time 🙈) so i need to start studying for that 🤧
- oh i recently got my learning permit for driving so my dad has been taking me,, and i don’t know if it’s normal to be this nervous but i really hate it sm 😭 my dad kind of expects me to improve quickly and he also keeps pressuring me to go faster which really scares me 😣 yesterday my dad made me drive home, when i only have experience driving in the parking lot (i’ve only been behind the wheel around 6 times), and it was genuinely terrifying … i really hope i get better quickly so i don’t have to do lessons every week 🫠
- also my parents have recently started asking me what i want to pursue once i graduate and i’m honestly not sure at all, like everyone else i know seems to have everything figured out except me 🥺 and idk if it’s okay or not but my parents have been scolding me for it … it’s honestly been making me kind of feel less than or just not good enough sometimes. yesterday my parents scolded me a lot and as soon as i went to bed, i just started crying and cried for maybe around an hour. i honestly cry a lot but sometimes it makes me feel as if i’m too sensitive or if i’m just overreacting 😔 i’ve been getting rejected a lot from some of the things that i’ve applied too so i worry that i’m just not good enough compared to my peers and it’s honestly my biggest complex bc i feel like i might be putting myself too much 🙁 i honestly don’t know to explain but my mind just feels really like tense rn and it’s hard for me to feel happy about everything … i just hope that everything lightens up soon
- ahhh i’m so sorry for rambling so much, but i really enjoy talking to you minnie!! i also apologize for creating such a sad mood T_T i hope you don’t mind 🥺 you’re really just so sweet and your blog just feels very comforting to me 🫶 i appreciate you sm & ty minnie! - battinson anon 🦇🧛♀️
hii ik it's been a while since you send this in so I apologize for only getting to it now ☹️
I hope that math retest went well! pls lemme know how you did (if you feel comfortable sharing)
ahhh I relate to the fear of driving. it has only been half a year for me since I got my license and my fear is still there but only because I barely get to practice 🤧 but it does really get easier and I hope you're already seeing improvements! as for tips... I don't think I have any other than drive as much as you can because experience really is the key here. and try to stay calm when you're being scolded (I still have not mastered that point either) or your emotions will make you drive even worse 😭
and no, I don't think it's okay for your parents to get mad at you over smth like this. you are still learning and need guidance and patience and that is not achievable by shouting and negative energy.
I do tend to cry a lot too but you're not too sensitive or overreacting. you know why? because your feelings are valid. every person is different and no matter what their feelings are okay and totally normal. I get shouted at when I cry so it's hard sometimes to remember it but if that is your way of showing emotions and releasing stress and that is totally okay and you shouldn't be ashamed of that <3
I really don't mind this ask and I feel rather happy about you confiding in me so don't worry 🥰
and I promise to answer as soon as I can the next time 😵
hope you're having a great week 💗
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