gaining a new interest/joining a new fandom is always kind of intimidating it feels like there’s so much you’ve missed out on by not enjoying this thing before so you’re like GRAHHHH got to catch up so I can have peak enjoyment like all the Enjoying This Thing experts around here! which is so silly bc if you enjoy a thing you’re already there but. yknow

💌 just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who’s left such lovely feedback on my latest chapter of four walls. it’s been a weird and emotionally draining week for me, and getting to come back after a long day and read all your kind words has been such a solace. it’s truly hard to put into words how much it means when people connect with something you’ve created (and i’m far too exhausted to even attempt it tonight), but trust me when i say nothing grounds me and keeps me writing through all the difficult stuff more than knowing that what i’m creating means something to people other than just me. thank you so much for your generosity in sharing that with me via your lovely comments and feedback 💌

had a fnaf lore thought today about Henry and William and Will’s motives for killing Charlie and Sammy being a bit more in depth than they are in what we’ve been provided in canon

we all know part of William’s motive was because he was jealous of Henry still getting to have a family after losing his own, but also consider Henry’s part in this

when William lost CC and Elizabeth, he was torn to shreds obviously, but Henry must’ve gone into shock too, leading me to believe that he would be running on autopilot trying to take care of everything in order to let Will grieve over the death of his two youngest

from Henry’s perspective this is a pretty normal way of different people dealing with grief and loss and shock and whatnot, but to William? he’s angry. he’s so angry because he lost the kids he loved so, so much. he’s angry because he feels at fault for it. but he also feels angry because Henry has spent less time comforting him and trying to sympathize and more time trying to deal with lawsuits

this is the deepest and most destructive pain Will’s ever felt in his entire life, grotesque and heart wrenching, and all he can see is Henry being more worried about legal issues than caring for his best friend. Henry’s trying his best to balance everything and not break, and he knows Will is too incapacitated to handle business, so he’s doing what he thinks would be helpful. But William’s mind isn’t wired that way. Rather he takes it as betrayal, and thus begins war.

Henry’s kids are dead. “Who would do something like this?” and Henry doesn’t know he knows. Eventually he confronts him, he’s devastated, but not quite in the way William was. he didn’t want to exact revenge. He was just in shock. And once he’s broken Henry down to his core, ripping into him about how he “didn’t know how to care and didn’t want to bother”.

Henry is destroyed, and all William can think about is “finally, some real sympathy from a real friend”.

tl;dr I don’t know I just think Henry and William’s arc should be more intricate and emotionally driven than what it’s shown to be in canon past the basic “oh no you were my best friend but I’ve been struck by tragedy and now I’m jealous that you have something I don’t so I have to destroy the thing you love because if I can’t be happy then neither can you” trope because despite their limited appearance in the actual shown canon events their backstory is vital to the plot of the series and I would love to see that elaborated on in depth

also by the way guys! i totally forgot but february last year was when i posted my first cevans fic on here! which means it’s been one year since i officially started this blog! and here we are, almost 9k followers later! for those of you who stuck around for fics about toxic men, spider!Ari, mike-waxowski!Chris, bald!Chris, me being salty as fuck in the tags, me sometimes being a literal critical bitter ass hater of the guy this blog is about, my Ari Levinson obsession, my rants, my totally rational hate for Andy Barber, my polls, my role-playing as psychopath poyt!Steve and feeling his misogyny flow throw my veins, FEDEX!ARI, Amazon!Curtis, UPS!Lloyd, my Chris ick era (still ongoing), my suspicious contempt for Frank Adler, my staunch belief that nomad!Steve is overrated, my sporadic gifmaker era that comes and goes, all my gorgeous anons, my soft!daddy Ari era beginning (still ongoing) and so much more…

If you stuck with me through ALL of that (or some of it, or even if you didn’t lmao) THANK YOU. Didn’t mean to make this come out all cheesy but yeah! I have been so fortunate that I’ve received such a good reception in this fandom for my fics, like I’m so fortunate to have never once had to worry about interaction for my fics bc yall literally just…are so amazing and supportive and enthusiastic about my writing and that’s what has made this blog grow so much! I’ve never experienced love and appreciation for my work like this in any other fandom! I’ve also met some really cool and chill people who are just amazing and I won’t tag you bc I’m too shy to tag people I’m sorry akdjsjjsak BUT!!! y’all know who you are!

ANYWAYS this is so fuckign cheesy and cringe fksjsjsj BUT!!! It’s been one year since I started this blog and I’m surprised and happy that I’m still here! Thank you sm!! (<- not me acting like I’ve won an award sjsjsjsja FUK bye 🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️)💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

WHAT IF WE HAD BEEN AROUND FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS BUT FOUND EACH OTHER IN EVERY ERA AND LIFETIME FOREVER + EVER + EVER HUH. WHAT THEN

We were discussing our favourite Christmas films at work but the only one I’d seen was the Muppet Christmas Carol. However, who needs Christmas films when you’ve got the Thanktival special on DVD?

DUDE i Just started getting into the callous daoboys and im so sad i ignored them for so long there so damn good ... i love them so much already

(also is sysc from seattle ? i thought they were from cali but if theyre from near me thats epicness too:3

unless u were talking abt smth else . in which case i have embarrassed myself and i will now leave)

yesss same!!!! I’m going to a show of theirs in april funnily enough :3 also I was talking about the blood brothers being from seattle sorry <///3

oh i’m in a pickle now, guys. either this is a mini phase that will die down in a few days or i’m already beginning a xena hyperfixation and need to watch the show pronto to minimize suffering.

So I wanted to buy a copy of G Fantasy from May 2023. I saw that my local Book Off was selling copies months ago, but I didn’t have a lot of money at the time and I instead bought some keychains and pins (and an A3! ring lol)

But I got some money for my birthday, and I bought a copy I found on Mercari. I’m a fan of both Hanako-kun and Terrified Teacher, but of the two, I’m really buying it for him

I love this loser (affectionate) so much ORZ I can’t wait to have this displayed in my room ㅠㅠ

WE BACK BABY!!!

i need a beta reader for a 11k chapter it’s less about checking grammar and spelling (although that would also really help) and more i just need to know if its okay on a scale of “sucks completely” to “i’d read another chapter”

Volume 18 finally arrived which means after two years or so of collecting I have them all!! Can’t wait to read them I’m so excited 😭 gonna have so many Suga pictures in my phone when I’m done fr fr

Also lined them all up on my long shelf to see them all in a nice row and it’s just. SO COOL. I’m so happy to have them all like omg 😭😭 I seriously can’t get over how cool this is to me

oh man this fic is so fucking good…

we’re so back today!! despite having to work 5 hours at the worlds most boring job (2 of which i spent either updating my google calendar or in the rust cohle tag) i went and bought my keyboard!! 81 glorious weighted keys for less than 500 dollars (market price is almost 700) and it’s all mine 😈 all the people there are so dope and the old guy behind the counter gave me free delivery as long as i could lift from the parking lot to my apartment (girl if i can’t….) and then i got home and my curtain rod came in the mail so i put up my new curtains that i’ve been unreasonably excited about . finally following up on my promise to make this apartment a home

To follow up on my Lalo-as-Odysseus thoughts re: this post, I haven’t been able to get the concept out of my head since 6x11’s “who’s Lalo?” “he’s nobody” exchange, which is flimsy on its own, sure, but hear me out…

Odysseus’s goal being to return home to destroy the suitors and set his home aright vs. Lalo coming up to the Salamanca territory with the goal of destroying Gus to protect his family… The way they both repeatedly utilize disguises and fake identities to get what they want… Most other characters believing them to be dead even as they secretly plot violent returns… Not to mention the whole concept of Zombie Odysseus discussed in the post I linked that plays around with the idea that Odysseus is Already Narratively Dead throughout the events of the Odyssey despite being physically alive vs. Lalo being Already Narratively Dead throughout s6, as symbolized by his living Underground (Corpse Behavior)…

So Lalo is basically a version of Odysseus who failed to kill the suitors and restore his home… Although I’d argue that they still share the tragedy of Failing To Protect Those They Were Responsible For with Odysseus doing everything he could to save his men and them all dying horribly anyway vs. Lalo’s entire goal being to save his family from destruction even as we, the audience, already know the terrible ends they’ll all come to once he’s no longer there to protect them.

It’s not a one-to-one parallel, for sure, but there are some Vibes going on is all is all I’m saying.

The hardest thing about school is my brain being in hyper drive. All the time. Even on break. There is always calculations running like: I have to work on this class, I think I can allocate that day, which means my other class I’ll work on tomorrow and I can put off this class’ work. Oh no, I can’t work in the allocated time slot, now I need to mentally rearrange my shit and make sure I don’t forget any of my many plates that I must keel spinning at all times!

This week I’m ahead. I front loaded, I worked a long Monday and hauled ass on game project to produce my share before our milestone. That means no more working on game until Monday. And because of the holiday I don’t have anything cooking for character design. So that leaves coding and my rigging project class. I’m well ahead on rigging because I like to rig. That means my whole weekend is just one small coding assignment and however much I want to rig. But it doesn’t matter. Because the schedule in my head is whispering “If you don’t work you’ll fall behind, there’s no time to rest, are you sure you’re not forgetting anything? Better work ahead just to be extra safe.”