let's go home

Thinking about felix bottling up his emotions and just. Flat out starting to cry sometimes and mc puts down whatever they're working on to pull him into their lap. He feels so bad that hes so dependent on them right now. Hes always lowkey worried hes too much to deal with and theyll get tired of it one day. How the growing awkwardness between them only makes that feeling stronger. Like its inevitable almost. But pls tell me your hurt comfort scenario I'm all ears 👀

— felix pre-chapter 12 breakdown hcs

note from nia: teehee . every1 be nice or i will feel humiliated because i do not >:( do this format >:( :( cries. this clashes w chapter 12 a little pretend that chapter isn't real for a second. it's like chapter 12 2.0 which i didn't read before writing pFBSSBFHJ

you know how i said felix would try to do something he does regularly with magic and fails which leads him to figuring out something is wrong. yeah. i stand by that

but he's had his fair share of overexerting himself and tries to stay calm since he did...die. maybe it'll just take a little longer this time

but it's been almost a week, too long, and he's getting antsy. so he tries again, something smaller this time

you hear him mutter a quiet "what?" and you turn and ask what's wrong

"i—i can't...it's not working i don't understand what's happening i—" his breathing quickens and he turns to you. he looks confused and so...scared

so you get books. and you keep getting books to read while felix continues attempting different spells and usual fixes that he does

but he gets more and more frustrated and everybody could tell

especially when sage would try to tease him and all felix could do was send a glare. until the day he took it a little too far and felix looked over, telling him to just "shut up already"

it gets awkward. because you all understand why he's so upset but you can't...do anything. just keep trying. keep watching him and making sure he eats and rests, pulling him along to take a bath then sleep, promising to bookmark his pages before joining him. even when the silences that fall between you feel heavy and you feel out of sync

but everything suppressed is bound to explode eventually

looking back, felix is glad at least it was just you two in the room

you had been cooped up in the study for a couple of hours (shorter than usual) when felix speaks

"i think we should stop."

"what? oh it is pretty late, um...you can get ready to sleep then, i'll pack things up. do you want to come back tomorrow afternoon or so? i think we can take at least the morning off."

"no." "...what?" "i said no, mc. i can't—" he lets out a deep sigh and runs his hands over his face, aggravated "—i can't do this anymore. i can't keep searching endlessly for a hint at what's happening to me. i look in the mirror and i see this mark on my chest and it's agonizing and i just...can't."

even now he's hyperaware of the growing symbol, the tingling sensation a constant on his skin

"we'll figure it out. you'll get your magic back soon—"

he'll get it back. it isn't permanent. it'll come back soon. soon, soon—it's all felix has heard and repeated since the first day but

"what if i don't get it back? then what? who am i if not a necromancer? what can i do for the starsworn without my abilities? read? i'm not anisa or sage, magic is—was," his voice strains, "my life. i just—i can't lose it. especially not to some damned god,"

there's spite in his voice as he shuts the book in front of him

he had replayed the moment it scratched him over and over, thinking about what he could have done differently

"if i had just been stronger or faster it wouldn't have gotten me. i would have recovered. i wouldn't be here every night. i'd be able to do the simplest spells that escape me now. i'd be able to look in the mirror without feeling pathetic, bottomless despair. i'm useless."

you reject the last idea immediately (as you should)

but all of his emotions and insecurities are spilling out of him and he can't seem to stop them

"felix you are nowhere near being useless—"

"yes i am. look at me, mc. i—" he raises his arms for a moment only to drop them again. "i can't do anything. if we were attacked right now no one would be able to depend on me. at least not like they could a few weeks ago. i'm a sitting duck just waiting to be shot."

"and you," his voice wavers, tears threatening to spill, "you have to deal with it. with me. you've been dealing with me, for days and days. brought me food, run baths, read even when i got tired, watched me wallow in self-pity. and you shouldn't have had to, mc. it isn't fair."

his voice cracks at the end, and his body is curled in on itself when you first hear him sniffle and finally, finally start crying.

you feel stuck in place as you watch his breathing quicken and body shake. you wonder just how hard he's had to stop himself from doing this any earlier, or if he already has in his time alone

and you know some people don't like being approached when they're crying or breaking down. but he trusts you, the same way he always has

so you take his hands away from his face, wiping away his tears and gently holding his face so he has to look at you

there's an odd mixture of defeat and pain in his eyes

it's all tumbled down now, and what's left is pained vulnerability when he says "i'm sorry. i'm so sorry."

his apologies turn more incoherent as he grabs you and presses his face into your chest

all you can do is hug him tighter and run your fingers through his hair, pressing a kiss to his head every once in a while promising him that "it's okay, i'm here. i'll always be here."

he only cries harder at your reassurances, his guilt and appreciation fighting to overwhelm him. so you tell him "i'm sorry...that you have to go through this. you don't deserve it, felix. and if i could give you my own magic i would, you know? i'm so sorry. i'm here now, promise."

and you continue to remind him that he's still him past the magic and necromancy. that "i'm not going to say that your magic wasn't a big part of you it—it was...is. but i never felt like i had to deal with you not having it."

you didn't fall for him just because of his powers, but because of his kindness and the way he made you laugh, the time he spent helping you, the nights you'd spend just talking to each other, his interests that you embraced and were always intrigued by, the way he would light up when you asked about the novel he was reading,

he clutches your body tighter because even if magic evades him, you're here. you're still here and you're warm and kind and everything he didn't think he deserved. you're here listing reasons to love him, running your hand up and down his back, and he doesn't know what he would have done if you weren't

OK MY BRAIN GOES BRR SO HAVE A TECHNO HC

SO CHAT RIGHT? THEY AHVE BEEN LIKE "AH THE VOICES IN MY HEAD N WHAT NOT" But I've seen around that its like harmful for some ND ppl like, its like a harmful stereotype n stuff n ALSO hearing that many voices in ur head you wouldnt be able to Actually understand em! And like, in many fics ppl describe em as a "blood thirsty symphony" n stuff like that SO THAT GOT ME THINKING!

They are NOT voices! They are more like Music!

Like the specific song I have in mind rn for the thing am saying rn is "Bolero" by Maurice Ravel, they keep a constant sort of music like when you are not doing anything n u r meaning to put ur playlist n its been an hour n u realize that u've just been hearing music in your brain? yeah they are like that when techno is not actively paying attention to them OR chat is not like trying to get his attention [like the E spam,/rainbowchat, donos, etc]

When he actually addresses chat like to ask for a location the music gets like, more coherent, an actual tempo with some consistency of pitches, since chat is spamming the same thing n stuff, n he gets a sort of gut feeling that after years and years of having chat, he knows how to convey into useful information MOST of the time [like when he asked about the dirt mansion waaaay back n chat was spamming different things so he didn't know].

When chat starts demanding blood n stuff [Blood for the Blood God] the song that I was talking about starts to sorta play! and I use that specific song bcos I like the soft build-up that it has, like DO listen to it n pay attention with how it starts like building up n what not its pog let me tell ye, but its also fine if u thing of another sing! that's also the thing abt this hc, since its music that depends on an eldritch being, every1 can perceive it differently! :D

Its also easier to let yourself get carried away by a nice symphony with a precise tempo than 80k voices just saying 1 thing don't y think?

ALSO! The reason he described them as voices is bcos its easier to explain it like that than the music Here is a link to the song if u wanna check it out :3 [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r30D3SW4OVw ] I think it fits but idk!

[7/2/2012 11:57:28 PM] Stephen: went to a 88 jiuba with some chinese friends, guy i met on weixin invited me. we went to some place in luohu which is right next to hongkong, that ***** didnt give me directions so i wandered the streets for 30 minutes until a taxi drivery finally directed me to the right place. had to pay fucking 200 kuai for the table we got, couldnt get in at first cuz they said i was wearing flipflops that werent allowed for dress code. i put on some size 3 chinese converse ripoffs and walked in with half of my foot sticking out like i didnt give a fuck, was k and then changed back to flipflops. drank this delicious juice and whiskey or something blend, could drink that shit all day which we pretty much did, not a lot of alcohol so we probly drank glasses each. the club was fuckin huge, had epic video screens with victoria secret runaway cameos going on along with music videos to the trash top 40 they like to play here. chiense people all stood around at the tables waiting for their friend to arrive. even though its a bar no one actually looks for others to mingle with and instead sticks to their friend circle only. i went around the bar trying to find a girl to coem to our table to drink with us but her guardian guy friend w/e was too jealous and butthurt so he gave me a hand motion to go away..lul. we played dice game a fuckton, for the first hour it was just 3 guys derping in the club looking around like fools. eventually their female friends came but not girlfriends, some randmo hoes who just came and went after playing some drinking games with us. didnt really make sense. i was asking one of the girls if she was having fun why she wanted to come to the bar if they were just going to stand around, shes like im just bored i guess. truth be told no one really dances there or does anything, they just personify awkwardness as they look around trying to make new acquaintances but its ultimlately impossible since they cling to their circle of friends. the employees at this bar were really fun & friendly and danced more than the guests. in the bathroom this guy tried to give me a stick of gum while iw as peeing and then led me around at the end demanding a tip. i gave him 5 kuai for the lulz. i made eye contact multiple times with one of the better looking girls in the club (probably late 20s), most were fugly and it was like 70/30 m/f...but she was with several other friends making it impossible for her to leave them and actually talk to me. i left after 1 cuz i have work tomorrow at 830

[7/2/2012 11:57:47 PM] Stephen: and this place was super chinese

no foreigners and every1 was speaking some trash dialect

including the guy i was with, fucking impossible to understand

he didnt slow down at all

[7/2/2012 11:58:06 PM] Stephen: i might as well have been at the train station

such a cluster

the club was so legit

live singers every half hour

good sound system

girl pretending to dj on the side

weith some beats headphones

chinese djs at these clubs are good

the people who go there are riffraff though

[7/2/2012 11:58:23 PM] Stephen: i was going along at the beginning just to be nice/ thought it would be an adventure to hang out w/ random guy

i was sitting on subway

he looking at me

i was sitting

as soon as seat opens he sits his fat ass next to me

starts talking like hey where you from what you doing in china

so hes this random businessman from dubai who's lonely and comes here a lot to the exhibition center

he has no friends or family

hes kind of awkward and creepy

but i have nothing better to do

 21 hours agoStephen Brownlee

and hes the same, finished for the day

so im like k ill go eat w you

maybe you're just lonely like i was today

i had to go exploring alone cuz no1 would hang out

(got a lot of weixin contacts that way though)

anyway we go to restaurant

hes kind of picky, has zero understanding of china, still kind of weird

we talk about general stuff

eat at a muslim restaurant

lol

he takes forever finding it

when i could have found it..

w/e

we took a taxi there

anyway hes just a fuckup in general and you wonder what hes doing in china

then he says some legitimate stuff about its hard to find true friends in china

every1 just wants money from you

and im like yeah i know that feel bro

so i sort of think maybe he just feeling really down cuz he has no friends

then we leave the restaurant and hes like where to go now

i told him i wanted to explore the city and hes like im tired

need to rest

then wanted to go to a hotel with him

also when we walked he would lead my with his arm awkwardly

he was like we can go back and rest, get a hotel

im like ...

his english is shit

so eventually he mades some super roundabout attempt at giving me a straight request

we just go to hotel herherher

this guy was middle aged and fat

anyway hes like i want to kiss your eyes

creepy motherfucker

messages not sending

then im like the fuck breh

oh before he was like

like what hes looking for

hes like haha just joking

im like uhh...

then hes like you arent gay

im like what the fuck are you even saying breh

lol

ok now no messages are sending

what the fuck

sorry idk how much you saw

anyway before he was like we believe meeting someone is part of gods plan

me meeting you today

god planned that to happen

lul...

k breh

anyway i was looking for an escape

at one point he was gonna get a taxi for us and i started walking in the other direction

waved as i left

he didnt follow

thank god

so i got the fuck out of there

like what hes looking for

me meeting you today

im like uhh...

what the fuck

messages not sending

[7/2/2012 11:58:39 PM] Stephen: hes like haha just joking

then hes like you arent gay

im like what the fuck are you even saying breh

lol

ok now no messages are sending

sorry idk how much you saw

anyway before he was like we believe meeting someone is part of gods plan

oh before he was like

then im like the fuck breh

creepy motherfucker

[7/2/2012 11:58:53 PM] Stephen: we just go to hotel herherher

waved as i left

he didnt follow

at one point he was gonna get a taxi for us and i started walking in the other direction

anyway i was looking for an escape

k breh

this guy was middle aged and fat

creepy motherfucker

then im like the fuck breh

[7/2/2012 11:59:13 PM] Stephen: anyway

as soon as he was out of sight

i ran

lol

and got on the first bus i saw

oh man

but then my roommates was like

awww you shoulda gotten his contact info

im looking for rich guys from dubai

can get a lot of money of them

lol

i gave him my fone #

at the start

we'll see...

he might give up

he complains about being alone but the whole time i was thinking yeah who would want to be with you you creepy fuck

i was feeling very down today cuz unable to find friends to hang out with all weekend

so i felt a little empathy

alright thats pretty much it

Ali & Carly

Ali: [Weds night before her bday] Ali: woman you home Carly: not mine y? Ali: because ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY Ali: and I need to come bearing gifts Carly: now? k then Carly: ill get there before u Ali: you @ one of the lads then? Ali: no rush 'cept I do wanna be the first so like b4 midnight cinders 🎃👠 Carly: i werent born @ 12 tho & u kno that from doing my chart 🔮🌟 Carly: but ur so cute Ali: tru but Ali: i'm excited Ali: can't start the party without guest of honour 7 Carly: aw Carly: i wont take these 15 💊s yet 👼 Carly: we can party together Ali: 🎁? Carly: idk can u call it a 🎁 if u have to give back Ali: Boo 👎 Carly: not what he said when we were done Ali: 🙄 still Ali: not very festive of him Carly: idc its been fun Carly: coulda stayed in w ma & da but its not a retirement party in the works like Ali: for now Ali: but I got better plans than either Carly: yea? Ali: 'course Ali: who am I Ali: who are we Carly: 🐅💙🐇 Carly: i barely knew u on my last bday 😢💔 Ali: it's insane Ali: you're so important and integral to me how did we not get together before then Ali: I'm not the only one with plans tho 🌌💕 Carly: too many lads to swap first ha Carly: i kno my ma has been planning all wk but idk cuz shes learned to be subtle somehow Carly: must b her new man teaching her things Ali: Eskimo sisters for life, baby 😂 Ali: 👀 come thru shaz Ali: sounds promising Carly: 🤞🌌🔮 Ali: not her new man, obvs Carly: hes no cavante tho still only a few yrs older Ali: if I beat you I'll hit her up for the scoop Carly: 🍀 Ali: 😬 Ali: I guess we've got her answer for the age old experience vs stamina Carly: could b where i left her wine drunk in the hot tub still Carly: falls asleep there more than the marital bed Carly: mermaid energy ha Ali: not wine drunk Ali: worse energy than coke rage, I swear Ali: watch out cat lady, protect your children Carly: aw ill look after them Ali: 👼 Ali: I'll take any bday bumps for you 💪 Carly: never liked coke or wine soz ma if thats my 🎁 Carly: still my hero 💙 Ali: those people are the worst Ali: lemme buy something for me and give it to you Ali: no sharon THAT IS NOT 👏 IN 👏 THE 👏 SPIRIT 👏 OKAY 👏 Carly: my gma does that every yr! xmas too Carly: so boring unwrapping that bible each time Carly: good rolling paper tho Ali: 😂 Ali: the lord is in you, it's what she wanted Ali: just in your lungs but you know Carly: ha Carly: what r u bringing me boo? Ali: don't you want the surprise babe Carly: idk last time u really surprised me it was w a divorce so u could get ur man Ali: 😥 Carly: 😂 jk u kno i love surprises Ali: just devastated you're calling me predictable for the last, how many months Ali: cut me deep, birthday girl Carly: i dont surprise easy Carly: y the lads like me Carly: dont b sad baby Ali: never Ali: not when there's partying to be done Carly: yay Ali: and a 👸 to celebrate Carly: ur sweet 🍬🍭 Carly: i dont look like a princess rn Carly: no running away Ali: you always do Ali: even when you running from ogres Carly: ur gonna make me look worse when im crying too Ali: meant to save them for the party Ali: but I'll never tell Carly: ha its been a few yrs since a bday tantrum Carly: really had to wait for that bike tho Ali: and #werk baby Ali: you were as adorable then, how your parents didn't spoil you is a mystery to me Carly: ask them if u do get here before me Carly: but before i was medicated i wasnt as 👼 could b the answer Ali: lecture 'em on how wrong they were, more like Carly: ur a bias little 🐱💙 Carly: & u didnt kno me then even if u do remember i grew into my 👂s Ali: 😂 Ali: well I never grew into my 👁s and my 'tudes no better either and you still love me so Ali: deal with it, Walsh 😜 Carly: aw u were the cutest 👶 Carly: & u get cuter every yr Ali: hey, don't spoil my heartfelt message in your card! Ali: 😏 Carly: im sorry Carly: ill have 1 for the road & forget Ali: I think one of the boys just catcalled me without offering to give me a ride in their white van/carriage Ali: see me struggling here lads, is that part of the appeal? probs Carly: which y? ill threaten to uninvite him from the party Carly: 1* Ali: not the kinda bitch to resort to racism 'cos I'm mildly upset or angered but they really be looking the same behind the wheel of a transit, like Ali: think it was one of Ronan's brothers? Ali: and in fairness, never slept with you so whaddya owe me, kind sir Carly: ha Carly: if he could see & be seen @ the wheel then i reckon i kno Carly: & i have slept w him so he will b 💔😢 if he cant celebrate w me Ali: my hero 💚 Carly: 💙 Carly: been thru every1 old enough in that fam now ha Carly: gonna have to move like Ali: I wish I could tell you the surprise was a hot new fam Ali: alas Ali: wouldn't fit them on my back, like Carly: 😢💔 Ali: I've let you down Ali: how could I Ali: gonna eat my feelings 🎂 Carly: 🍯🐝 no Carly: never Ali: what's the dresscode for this shindig then Carly: idk not allowed to go w bday suits Carly: my da overruled me Ali: gotta whittle down my knock you dead options Ali: even with those stifling guidelines, tah Mr Walsh, I should manage it Carly: i believe in u baby Ali: 👼👼👼 Carly: im back btw Carly: used my wings mayb Ali: damn Ali: was really hopinh for some 1x1 with your ma Carly: she will scoot over in bed for u Carly: not just me who misses u Ali: awh Ali: can we convince her to give you your present early or nah Ali: I say yeah Carly: me too so 2 votes Carly: my da will b asleep too deep to cast his even if she says no weve outnumbered her Ali: 💪 Ali: I'll put the phone down and run Ali: gimme 5 Carly: k Carly: be careful tho Carly: some of the 💡 r out Ali: 👌 Ali: my middle name Carly: fun is ur middle name Carly: how many do u have? Ali: as many as you want Ali: 😉 Ali: but just the one, actually Carly: hot Carly: u can have 1 of mine then wed both have 2 each Ali: are you actually 👑 Carly: my ma wishes Carly: queen of the site tho Carly: ha Ali: I've not bought her a crown Ali: not soz Carly: its k shes got her prom tiara somewhere Ali: memories 🎶 Carly: am i gonna peak before 18 too? Ali: never Ali: only way is 📈 baby Carly: u make me feel really happy u kno Ali: ☀🌻🍓🍯🐝🐰 Ali: it's mutual boo Carly: im crying Carly: & smiling Carly: its the 💊s ma Ali: it's the 💘 Ali: she gets it Carly: aw Carly: yea shes really 💘 w the lad from the chemist Carly: knocking our 💙 off the top Ali: can't be having that Ali: got all weekend to prove we're 🥇 Carly: til ur bf shows up Ali: nuuh Ali: it's all about you Carly: ur so nice to me Ali: you'll see feel and believe it ✨ Carly: 🔮🌌 Carly: r u gonna stay? Ali: can I? Carly: yea Ali: then yeah Carly: aw ur my 🎁 Ali: I haven't copped out that hard, don't worry Ali: come help me Ali: not very gentlemanly of me but I wanna be with you before we've gotta hear about the prom queen's glory days Carly: k Carly: 💪💙

So this is a fic prompt that I saved in my crimson field fic folder like 3 years ago and I opened it today and I thought ‘why not?’ So here’s some cute Kitty and Miles friendship with a side of pining sad Miles. @thecurlymop @thomasgillan @thebicanary @meriida @viscountessbranksome @queenofkeys idk how many of you will be interested but i’m shamelessly tagging anyway bc i live for  that feedback and validation. Idk whether I’ll write anymore on this (but I could certainly be encouraged to)

This was the prompt:

Confession: I have a friend who likes to text me at like 4am when he’s had nightmares or he can’t sleep or he just needs a friend. He thinks I’m always awake at 4am but really I go to bed around 12am and I change his text-tone to the loudest one I have just so it wakes me up when he needs me.

It had been a week since that terrible party where Elliott had turned up, trying to harass Kitty. Thank God Miles had been there, Kitty thought. Otherwise it would have been much worse.

He’d even driven her home afterwards. He’d been annoying her all day, flirting with her, even though she’d made it clear multiple times that she wasn’t interested. And to top it all off, she’d been supposed to meet up with Tom that night, but she had to go to the party instead, to ‘talk’ to Elliott, as he had so mildly put it in his Facebook message to her. As if Elliott ever wanted to just talk about anything.

But Miles had stepped in, had made Elliott stop, quietly but firmly, had stayed with her and made sure she was okay rather than running after his sorry arse.  And he had driven her home, afterwards, not saying a word, just letting her cry on his shoulder. And he had dropped her off, promising her he wouldn’t gossip about this to anyone, and stayed in the car until she had unlocked her door and gone inside. That counted for something.

It counted for a lot, actually.

Which was why Kitty found herself texting Miles, upon waking from another nightmare at 4 in the morning.

 Hey, just had a nightmare.  Wondering if you were up.

 She sent it, not really expecting him to be awake, or to reply. But five minutes later, her phone buzzed, indicating a text.

 Hey Kitty. I’m awake. Here 2 talk if u need. x

 Hi. How come you’re awake? Talk about something ridiculous to get my mind off things?

 Just got in from a night out. It was fuckign wiiiild man! But I didn’t drink. I’m not drunk. I promise. Tom made me be the designated driver, said we’d all had enough incidents 4 one life time. The cheek of it! He wasn’t even THERE for the absinthe incident!

 Kitty giggled. She felt a bit better already. And it was sort of nice to hear about Tom, even though they hadn’t spoken since the day after the party, when Kitty had tried and failed to explain why she’d had to blow him off.

 Haha, glad you had a good time! What WAS the absinthe incident, if I may ask? Everyone mentions it all the time but I’ve never got the full story.

 It’s basically a meme now. And I, the long-suffering victim. I, the wisest of fools.

 Kitty snorted.

 Miles are you going to tell me or not?

 It’s just what it sounds like rly. I got absolutely hammered on a bottle of absinthe and ofc I couldn’t bloody shut up. And then I chundered, obvs

 Still couldn’t shut up then, I bet? What couldn’t you shut up about?

 Cheeky!

Various things. Mostly…my love for one particular person..

 Kitty couldn’t deny her curiosity now. She knew this had been before she had met Miles, so obviously it couldn’t be her.

 Who?

 It doesn’t matter. But every1 took it as a joke or just me being drunk n ridiculous. Which is probs a good thing tbh. But it wasn’t.

A joke I mean.

 I’m sorry.

Who was it though?

 Kitty…

 Was it Tom?

 There was radio silence for over fifteen minutes and Kitty was just thinking that Miles wasn’t going to answer her, and she should just go back to sleep, when her phone buzzed again.

 Can we just drop it? I’m tired.

 Of course. Sorry, Miles. Thanks for talking to me. I feel much better now.

 I’m glad. Good night x

 Night x

 Kitty put her phone on her bedside table and lay down, wondering if she had been right about Miles. Then she decided it didn’t matter, and she kind of felt guilty about pushing something that was clearly so uncomfortable for him, when he was trying to help her. She rolled over and went to sleep.

 It was a month after the party and Miles had taken to setting Kitty’s ringtone on the highest volume setting so he would hear whenever she texted him late at night on awakening from a nightmare.

After the obligatory ‘Hi’ and ‘I’m awake’ texts, Kitty’s next reply made Miles smile.

 You go out so much, you’re always awake when I am.

 He bit his lip, wondering whether to tell her the truth, but decided he didn’t want her to feel guilty for waking him up, or worse, like she was obligated to him in any way.

 Work hard, play hard, that’s my motto.

 You’ve never worked hard a day in your life, Miles Hesketh Thorne.

 Oi! I work hard sometimes. Mostly on copying Tom’s notes, it has 2 be said. But mine are much prettier than his.

Also it’s not my fault I wanted to be an actor.

 You wanted to be an actor? I never knew that.

 Yeah. But my father would never have allowed it. He wanted me to become a surgeon just like him. So medicine it was.

 No offence but he sounds like a dickhead.

 Miles snorted, but didn’t reply, seeing the three dots indicating that Kitty was typing something else.

 What about societies though? There are a tonne of drama societies here. I know you’re busy not doing your work and going to parties, but..

 I would, Kitty. I rly want to. But my father thinks theatre is for ‘girls and poofs’. I wouldn’t give a shit if I was straight but..well, I’m not

 Yeah I know ❤ I’m sorry Miles. He really does sound like the worst kind of arsehole.

 He is. But it’s not like I’m much better. Just doing exactly what he wants, not following my dreams, going out and acting like a twat.  Honestly idk where I’d be without Tom.

And you.

 Miles, you’re not your father.  You’re a good person. It’s not your fault if he makes you feel like you can’t be yourself. Honestly, I should know.

 I know. Thx. I appreciate that. But I’m not even out to anyone at uni. It’s ridiculous. Half of my friends are posh twats, sure, but they would probs mostly be okay if I came out. It’s 2017 ffs. And if they can’t handle it then they should fuck off.

 You’re out to me.

 Yeah, well, you didn’t assume I was straight.

 Heteronormativity is for squares 😝

 Lmao tru dat

 It doesn’t matter who you’re out to, Miles. It’s none of their business if you don’t want to tell them.

 I know that but like. I WANT to be out. I want to be proud of who I am. I fucking love being bi. But I’m not even out to my best friend.

 You’re not out to Tom?

 No. I figure he’d probably put 2+2 together what with all the jokes about the absinthe incident. And I’m p sure he’s straight. I don’t want 2 risk my friendship with him.

 Oh Miles…if he’s a good friend I’m sure he’d understand.

 You and him have been getting pretty close recently right? He doesn’t tell me anything but I see u talking sometimes, or catch him messaging u on fb.

 Yeah we’ve been getting pretty close.

 That’s cool. I’m glad. We should all hang out together sometime.

Or would that be awkward? Are you guys dating?

 No, that’d be nice. And idk what we are at the moment tbh.

 Hmm. Oh well. I think it’s time I go to sleep. Good night Kitty x

 Good night Miles. You’re a good’un. x

 Thanks x

Love ya ❤

 Miles sighed. He was cursed. How did he manage to be in love with the two people he was best friends with, only those people were dating? Or at least on their way to dating. He wished Tom would talk to him about these things. He talked about his (female) crushes all the time.

Maybe a bit too much. A bit of a straight performance.

Tom seemed to believe him though. Maybe he should be on stage, he thought wryly.

Then he decided to stop feeling sorry for himself and go back to sleep.

your neighbor aus are so cute!! can you do jun, jeonghan, and hansol please??

aww thank you!! sure, ill also add in dino to complete the neighbor!17 series ~

joshua, mingyu & seungkwan can be found (here) ~wonwoo, hoshi & seungcheol can be found (here) ~ seokmin, woozi & minghao can be found (here) !~ 

Jun

you’re pretty sure you saw him in a movie once, but you’re not a hundred percent sure. everyone in the building is sure they’ve seen him on tv,,,,but was it a movie? a commercial? a show? no one ever truly finds out,,,,,

sometimes every1 is like “he looks too rich to be living here”

but tbh jun loves the attention like he won’t admit it outloud but please,,,,,,,he probably poses in the elevator ever so subtly and everyone is like oh my look at how handsome and in jun’s head he’s like ‘mhm this is my angle take it all in, i look great from a 45 degree tilt to the left’

jun is doing the most basically 

model walks in his plaid pajama bottoms and flip flops, bends and snaps when he throws out the garbage. you will nEVER catch him off guard

his apartment is pretty cool though because jun is the type to splurge. so like big TV,,,expensive blankets,,,,,,,probably one of those glass coffee tables that are super fancy and jun doesn’t even know he has expensive tastes it’s just like second nature to him 

oh and he has mirrors

like a lot of them

when will any of us reach this level of Self Confidence t b h

and you’re like pretty familiar with jun because photography is your hobby and he’s always asking you if you guys bump into each other if you can ever help him take some headshots since he wants to try out for modeling

like you always agree but halfheartedly because you’re not sure if you want to work with someone,,,,,,,,,,as high maintenance as he seems

but one day you get caught by jun coming back from the park where you took some photos and he’s like are you free now??? and you’re like mIGht as well get it over with,,,,,,,,,

so you tell him yes and that he should come over since you have some lighting equipment @ your place

and jun,,,,you notice as you’re setting up is a little fidgety. like he keeps looking at his reflection in his phone and biting back his lip and you’re like ???? i thought he was like super confident about his looks but he seems,,,,nervous 

and you’re like “are you ok?” and jun snaps out of it and desperately seems to try and hide his feelings with a sly looking grin and he’s like “of course~!”

and you ask him to sit and face forward and,,,,,he does but then he like tilts his head a bit and you’re like “i need you to look straight if you want me to get a good shot” and he’s like oh! sorry

and he does it but you can see his eyes flashing worry and you’re like “,,,,hey are you really ok?”

and jun laughs, again obviously hiding what he’s really feeling and he’s like “fine! i just don’t think i look too great if you see all of my face like this”

and you damn near drop your camera because what the HELL is he talking about and you even say it, like literally, you’re like what the hell are you talking about

and jun scratches the back of his neck and tries to wave it off but he’s like “i look the worst from the front, my angle and profile is way be-”

and you’re like picking your camera back up and you’re like “you look like a handsome actor up front, don’t even say something like that.” and jun looks at the lense and you snap a couple of photos then go over to show him 

and you’re like “look at your jaw, and your skin??? it’s a gorgeous color, softly tan,,,,and your eyes are so strong and distinctive?? your nose is like the perfect size! you don’t even need touch ups - you’re naturally stunning.”

and you don’t notice it but jun is looking up at you and his smile turns into a bit of a smirk and he’s like “you think im stunning?” 

and you’re like yes!! and his smirk gets bigger and he’s like “i think you’re pretty stunning too-”

and you’re like me???? what- but then you catch the smirk from the corner of your eye and you like playfully push his shoulder and tell him not tease

but jun shrugs and he’s like “what, it’s true. you’re very nice to look at too.”

and you brush it off, hiding your face behind your camera as you get ready to take more photos of him

but you know,,,,,,turns out he isn’t all that high maintenance,,,,,,,tbh he listens really well to you and you get a lot of shots

and as you’re both looking at them you feel jun’s hand sneak around your shoulder,,,,his body closer to yours but like,,,,,,,you don’t mind,,,,,,,i mean,,,,,,,,,,,,,who would mind lbr

jun insists that he should pay you back for taking his photo and you’re like it’s fine and then he’s like ‘ok, then let me just take you out on a date because i really really want to.’ and you’re like DONT joke about that but jun’s like im not joking????? let’s go on a date??? gorgeous people need to stick together you know~~~~

Jeonghan

the neighbors call him ‘the perfect son-in-law’

because they want all their daughters to get married to him because he seems like the perfect man: good looks, good manners, good brains like WOW the whole damn package

and jeonghan is always so humble and modest about the nickname he’s like “marriage? oh im not ready” or “im nothing compared to your daughter”

(but in reality he’s just like lol please leave me alone i want to go home and take a nap. he’s just,,,,not saying that because that would be rude LOL)

he’s always really soft looking. like he never leaves the house with bed head, owns many warm looking sweaters, always reading some classic literature and seemingly listening to au clair de la lune 

just a real live fairy human,,,,angel,,,,,,,glowing force of beauty?

and his apartment is the same. like fight me on this but jeonghan would have some dried flowers hanging on his walls, paintings by like monet, a fuzzy white carpet, and like vintage looking furniture you’d feel like you were in a story book

and he like even set up a little corner of his apartment with a drawing easel,,,,,,,,like im talking instagram level aesthetic here

collects like ,,,, idk,,,,,,, little glass statues or something like bare with me it’s just so pretty because he’s so pretty

and you know him (how could you not) because every time you two leave at the same time he smiles kindly at you and you’re just like wow. this day? blessed

but one day you’re coming home and you’re in the wORST mood because of work/school plus you got soaked in the rain since your bus came late and you get into the elevator with jeonghan who smiles at you but you can’t even bring yourself to feel the usual happiness you do when he does that

and the elevator ride is slow up but then suddenly you feel something warm on your wet shirt

and it’s jeonghan putting his cardigan around your shoulders and he’s like “you can catch a cold walking around like that.”

and like holy shit an angel just touched you but also you’re like ,,,,, i,,,,,,i can’t take this from you

but jeonghan is like don’t worry, also make some tea when you get inside.

and you both split ways when the elevator door opens and you’re inside your apartment looking down at the cardigan in your hands and you’re like ?!?!?!?!?! what,,,,just,,,,,,happened

and the next morning you plan to return it but before you do you close the door and see a note stuck to the front and it reads ‘keep the cardigan. i hope you don’t get sick.’ and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,, am i dreaming

but you hear another door unlock and you look over to see jeonghan again and you have no clue what to say because the most beautiful person on earth is being so sweet to you

and he smiles again when he meets your gaze and he’s like “glad you’re not sick” and you’re like “um,,,,thank,,,thank you for worrying about me?” and jeonghan shrugs and he’s like 

“ive always worried about you, you come home looking tired and i hope you’re not overdoing it.” and you can’t help but want to like d i e because,,,,w h a t,,,, he’s been worrying about you???? what kind of romance movie plot,,,,,

but then jeonghan leans a little closer and he’s like “if you feel sick, knock on my door. i have some medicine and ginger my mother sent over.” and you’re like ,,,,o,,,,,okay,,,,,,,

and jeonghan touches your cheek softly and heads for the stairs 

and you’re like am i imagining things or is,,,, ‘the perfect son in-law’ interested in me,,,,,,,

but no you’re not imagining things because jeonghan stops midway down the stairs and is like leaning against the wall because he’s happy you’re not sick but gOD he really just invited you over,,,,,,to his house,,,,the neighbor he’s liked for so long,,,,,,,,,,,,

Vernon

tries to act cool and independent but always has to call over someone to kill any bugs he finds in his house

he’s got really bad luck because while he tries to look aloof and grown up he ends up tripping over things or walking into walls or getting himself stuck between the elevator doors and ,,,,,,,,, everyone in the building is like “he’s such a cute kid!” and vernon is like im NOT a kid,,,,,,,,,,,

but c’mon he once screamed because he thought the shadow of the neighborhood cat was a ghost

but this unconscious dorkiness is what makes him so lovable and everyone’s always asking him to say something in english and vernon is like “good morning” and everyone’s like WOW SKILL TALENT

the type to ride a scooter everywhere,,,,,,,,seungcheol passes by on his bike and is like ??? and vernon is like “scooters are the new Aesthetic”

has one of those cool beds that’s like a bunkbed but the top is the bed and the bottom is a desk area 

and he’s bought a lot of composing equipment and he has a collection of headphones and other cool things that pertain to music all around his apartment

and it isn’t that messy, but it’s all in dark tones like his little sister visits and always insists that vernon change his bed sheets from grey to like yellow and vernon is like ‘im a cool guy, cool guys don’t have yellow sheets’ and his sister is like uh huh ok

you actually don’t know vernon that well, but you know his sister because you work part-time at a grocery around the block from your building and when she visits vernon she always stops by to get food and complain a bit about how brother n EVER eats actual meals

and you think she’s the most adorable girl on this side of the planet so you always sneak in free ice-cream or candy for her 

and as you’re getting home from your shift one day, the elevator opens and there’s vernon and his sister and once she sees you she’s like !!!!!!! and drags vernon over to you and she’s like 

“i didn’t know you lived here too!!! this is the brother im always talking about, are you guys friends???” and you and vernon are both embarrassingly like not really,,,

and his sister pouts and she’s like “when im not around, can you take care of him for me? im worried he’s not getting enough sun and -”

and vernon coughs because sOFIA you’re embarrassing,,,,,me,,,,,

but you’re like “ok, i will!! good neighbors take care of each other ^^”

and vernon kind of tries hard to keep from turning pink when you ask if that’s ok with him and he’s like ,,,,,, sure anything to calm down my sister

and it’s funny because sofia is looking between you and vernon and she’s like 

“you’d look cute together you know, my brother is single-”

and vernon is like OOOO KA ay,,,,,,time to go nice talking to you neighbor bye bye

and you watch as he like dashes off and he’s like c’mon sofia but she stays back a bit and leans over like 

“i think he’s shy,,,,,he’s like that. but it’s a good sign, i think he’s interested too~~”

and you’re like oh my,,,,,,,

but also can you believe sofia. the real matchmaker mvp 

Dino 

get mistaken for someone who doesn’t live alone, but who still lives with their parents because what???? you can afford to pay rent on your own?????

but tbh he’s quite independent, and a quick learner like ask any of the other seventeen neighbors who self taught themselves to make chicken tenders from scratch??? no one. except dino who learned from the nice grandma down the hall

sometimes gets in trouble for playing music too loud but he’s too cute for any1 to stay mad at for 2 long

can be spotted playing tag with the younger kids if their parents have to go get groceries or something, he gets a side job as a babysitter sometimes because kids love him???? he’s so good with them because he has so much energy??

his own apartment is a lot like him, it’s colorful and the most important thing is his speakers that are the only thing he keeps relatively clean. his desk is littered with clothes and notebooks and candy wrappers from late night snacks

has photos of his parents performances up on his wall and in his closet he has it separated into : dance costumes and normal clothes 

all his refrigerator magnets are in the shape of dinos,,,how cute

he practices dancing by himself late into the night so a lot of the time he ends up getting hungry and ordering pizza on a whim and,,,,,one day he gets a pizza but it’s like???? an extra large size because the orders got screwed up and dino is like: i cannot. finish this

and he considers calling vacuum cleaner hyung (minghao + mingyu) but it’s late so instead he’s like “maybe the neighbor will want some!!!”

that neighbor is you,,,,,he’s also up doing some late night work and when you hear the doorbell you’re like ?????? it’s 1 in the morning,,,,,is it a robber??? and you grab a nearby pot just in case but when you open the door slowly

you just see dino,,,,,with his kindhearted smile and a plate stacked with??? pizza slices

and he’s like “i don’t know if you like pizza, but i have a lot left over and i thought if you were awake you’d like some !!!” and he grins and puts out the plate and you’re like ???? but also,,,,,,,,pizza for FREE,,,,,,,yum yum

and you gladly accept and dino is like happy because he’s made you happy and for a second you two stand there a bit awkwardly and you’re like “do you want to come in?” and dino is like “well,,,,it’s late but we never properly introduced ourselves as neighbors so??”

and you’re like it’s fine come in sorry for the mess and you go over to your kitchen, dino following behind and you’re like “so why are you up at this ungodly hour?” and dino is like “im practicing!! i dance~” and you’re like OOOO show me 

and dino clears your sofa a bit and starts busting out all these cool moves and you’re eating pizza and clapping and you’re like encore!!! as a silly joke but he really does start doing another routine

and you’re like holy hell i never knew i lived next door to such a talented person!! 

and dino blushes red and he’s like “im still practicing, it’s just a hobby for now,,,,” but you’re like “seriously, you could be a PRO, you should try becoming an idol?”

and dino is like wHA,,,, i could NEVER and you’re like “you’d do great!! you’re a nice person, you dance well, and you’re cute!” and the word cute just makes dino scrunch up his nose,,,,,but he likes it and he’s like 

“maybe ill look around for some auditions!!” and you set down the pizza to give him a thumbs up and you’re like “once you become an idol, ill be your number one fan - i promise~” and dino is like alsfgkfsdkh don’t say that that’s so cheesy

but you’re like “you know what’s really cheesy? this FREE PIZZA”

dino: “good pun!!!!!!!!!!!”

you: “i know right!!!!!!”

you’re both laughing so damn hard you accidentally wake the other neighbors LOL 

5, 12, 12, 18, 28, 33, 43, 45

Ok hey I’m here 2 answer questions again B)

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

Uhhh. I guesssss Murphy since I’d love to see fanart of her, & because she’s my most developed. But she’d certainly be dissected and I’m not about that. I luv my shitty, awful cat whisperer, don’t gotta tell me she’s shittyawful.

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

(;

I know a loooot of ppl’s ocs, so picking just one is impossible, so off the top of my head I’ll name some of my friends’ & explain why.

BERGS (you!) -- I’m still in the process of getting to know your ocs, but obvi I love Marlowe a whole lot, that tall, rude boy. Tall, rude boy with fantastic hair. But if I’m gonna pick a favorite (tho I kno the question doesn’t say pick a favorite), it’d be Jasper because like, he’s the one I’ve known the longest. He too has great hair. Also gr8 name hur hur hur

@wubby-desu -- I steal all of Wubby’s ocs but I’ll never be able to write Church like he does. Also I love Church. The perfect Awful SO for Murphyawful.

Critter (who probably won’t even see this ider her url omg) -- She writes this character, Llewellyn, who’s suuuuuch a fuckboy pothead and I love him so much. He’s literally just there to ruin everything and cry about it and then go into long introspective rants about like cake or s/t I love him

and while I’m also getting to know @extraterrestrialhag‘s ocs, I really love their Daerad, he’s such a bundle of surprises for such a shy boy~

18. Any OC crackships?

Will and I shove Nox/Beatrix together a lot as a joke even though it’s the worst possible combination of people. I think he has an AU where Nox and Beatrix have a kid and it’s hilarious sfsfdsaf. I’d say he’s too nice to have to deal with that, but he’s not very nice, he’s just very endearing lmaooo

Between MY characters. I shove all my characters together for funsies. I can’t think of a particularly interesting one. Trent/Mort is ridiculous but it actually works pretty well, just a shitty werewolf man and his tiny, spacey boyfriend.

28. Your most dangerous OC?

Hmm. That’s a hard one. I have like ~powerful~ characters, but most of them don’t utilize it because there’s no need to. Capability wise, it’d probably be Grimalda, seeing as she’s like a 400 year old vampire who Studied The Blade lmfsoaaod. She’s fought in wars n shit. But she’d rather just drink some coffee with some pals. Jasper WISHES he was as capable as her, but he’s 4ever the impressive-but-ive-seen-it-before younger brother.

When it comes to willingness, it’d be Belle. He’s, for one, a ~powerful~ witch and knows it, has people working for him that are willing to sacrifice themselves, and he has Jasper as his right hand. It takes, like, a lot of ritualistic sacrifice to keep this man lookin’ young n sweet, and has probably killed a lot of innocent people for like... existing near him. Because he can.

Mordecai, on the other hand, is a ticking time bomb and is a literal cataclysmic event, so there’s that too. No one likes me talking about him because one of his main attributes is that he’s an unwilling cannibal pfffff

33. Your shyest OC?

Proooobably Cosmo. She’s a selective mute. She’s, like, my only character that I canonically leave friendless. Not a single friend. In a lot of ways, she doesn’t even notice this nor does she care, but she’s soooo painfully shy and dresses weird and isn’t very talented, so. She can play the keyboard/melodica well so there’s that. But she’s very bright eyed and optimistic, she just Cannot talk to people half the time. Every1 is just so cool.

I’d also say maybe Mort, but Mort has a lot of arguably cool/popular friends. But he’s notably stoic and robotic as shit because he doesn’t want people seeing his less than content bits. He writes fanfiction about his friends. Friendfiction, as some would call it. Every time his boyfriend kisses him, he Dies Forever. Speaking to new people never happens. Speaking to people he knows never happens. If he could skype a friend, he’d be the kind that disappears for no understandable reason.

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

I think about this a lot, because everyone always has their Character Type. All my characters are goth assholes. More specifically, p much all my characters dress drably and are at least lowkey mean as hell. A lot of them are stoic, the others are hyper sensitive, and a lot of them can’t cope with reality very well. Also p much all of them hate one or both of their parents. And on a way more serious, sad note, Gotta make all my ocs traumatized like me!! ayyyyy B)

In part, a good portion of my ocs are actually good friends, so I feel like that’s partly the reason they kinda aligned like that. But I also just base a lot of it off of myself and my immediate friends sooo lmaooo if you ask i can p much always name an oc who has traits from someone i love. and some have my friends’ birthdays. it helps me remember, tho i always remember my friends’ birthdays, idr my family’s LMAO like?? what??

45. A character you no longer use?

Ciel’s brother, Edvard, used to be one of my big ocs. He’s very stoic & mean because of course he is, but his whole thing is just like, sad shit for the sake of being sad because I made him when I was edgy and 14. I resigned him to being a bigger part in Ciel’s life, but he’s completely underdeveloped and I don’t really plan on ever using him past this. But then, there’s also Philly, who I’ve decided to just drop, because her personality was that she worked at 7/11 and likes grilled cheese and That’s Literally It. Idk what I was doing with her, but she’s very old.

EPISODE 1 - “TIME FOR SOME BRO AND TELL” - GIRUGA MESH

I am so excited to be competing! Everyone seems like such nice people and I can't wait to play in the challenges and do my very best!

Mattie is such a Basic Bitch(TM) and it's killing me. Like I'm not that great of an actress, I am a superb liar but I am a shitty actress. Why? because humor is the only thing that keeps me from going insane and I made Mattie such a basic bitch that she can't use any of my "quirks" or fun thoughts and theories. And now Mattie just mentioned death by dehydration, motherfucker! I am so going to be first boot it's not even funny. UwU

I just wanna talk about my feelings about being on the neutral tribe... I do consider myself on the Chaotic Neutral/Chaotic Good side of things. The chaos comes from my crazy emotions. I'm a Pisces so I'm sensitive and emotional. Also I'm actually kinda happy about being on a tribe of 6 people. I NATURALLY gravitate towards Bianca. I know who Paul is cause he slipped up in the tribe chat. So I feel good :)

OK SO i said i was retired but i adore logan and i wanna see what i can do without my baggage of the past that fukt me in ts all stars so phew. the people on my team seem chill, idk why but for some reason i get the feeling that theyre younger than me which doesnt make sense since im only 20 but anyway. I know that i type very specially and use phrases a lot so its gonna be hard to stop doing that bc if any of these people know me at all its gonna be a dead giveaway! 

So I've spent all day at Disney World today and I finally get back to the hotel and come online to speak to my tribe.  No one has talked to me one on one yet so... yeah,  no idea.  I said in the main chat I just got off work and I checked online to see Chick-fil-a's hours to make sure my story checked out too. :* We'll see what happens, on to figuring out this challenge!

First off: When I read this... Confess your sins, your dirty-dirty bad bads, your evil twisted thoughts here. It made me think of the dialogue in a bad porno. http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lthhgjZ1xY1qg39ewo1_500.gif Second off: I do quite enjoy the concept of this alias season. I like the idea of going into the game as a fresh face with a fresh personality and playing along with other people that I don't have any idea of. It kind of rekindles the fun that I have when I get to play in seasons with newbies. http://mashable.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/excited-baby.gif Then, of course, I remember that these are not newbies so some of that fire loses a little oxygen. https://media.giphy.com/media/BmMU3LOfNMMeI/giphy.gif But, I'll try to convince myself that we're all playing for the first time. 

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So far I've noticed a few things about my tribemates. I don't think anything can be applied specifically to the individual given that I haven't really reached a stage to call people out... but, some of them are hung up on the fact that this a catfish season. When messaging them they tell me that it's awkward and when I tell them that the dog in my profile picture is my dog Donut they ask if it is "for real". I'm trying to play up this characters of Jenny for them because I thought that was the goal and I need these people to get on board. https://media.giphy.com/media/KGHtHISczyhHO/giphy.gif

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Wow, that last bit probably makes me come off as quite the rude person. Yikes! I need to get over myself a little. I get that easing ones self into a new situation can be challenging... sooo I'll give them a shot while continuing to respond to any and all questions and comments as Jenny would. http://replygif.net/i/440.gif

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So far I think my favorite people are Tanner, Kai, and Adelaide. I'd like to think I'd enjoy Wash as well but they went to bed shortly after starting communication with me. I don't think (so far as I know and god I hope not) that anyone has come up with a plan to ally yet so I'm just going to continue chatting to get my feelers in those waters. http://media1.giphy.com/media/BqHng2hpjOUdW/giphy.gif

Hopefully Jenny will appear charming enough to begin allying with these people. She needs some throats to slit later down the road and can only start to burn the bridges once she's built them - unfortunately!

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Alright, so I wanted to show my excitement at this game because I've played a real-life version called Tsuro with my friends where you are dragons and I'm hugely board game obsessed... but that's nowhere in Jenny's character and I don't feel like making any content about her up unless I absolutely have to! https://uberflip.cdntwrk.com/files/aHViPTIxOCZjbWQ9aXRlbWVkaXRvcmltYWdlJmZpbGVuYW1lPWl0ZW1lZGl0b3JpbWFnZV81NmQ4NDkzNzFjM2I0LmdpZiZ2ZXJzaW9uPTAwMDAmc2lnPTIxMTE0OTVlM2I1Y2M2NWVlYjMzOTE3OTcyMDExZmI0 Also, I was being truthful when I said the challenge is hard... like, I guess I'm having some difficulties processing the path or something because I keep crashing absurdly early. I'm hoping that by tomorrow when others have played it they will be able to talk me through getting a decent score so our tribe doesn't have to go and I won't have to face the possibility of being first boot (which is likely).

Ok! So basically, Kat just asked me for an alliance??? It's legit night one like chill, but obviously I ain't gunna turn down an ally so i'll play along. I was like "OMG YAHHH I NEVER HAVE ALLIES ON SURVIVOR ORGS" hopefully that makes her think im like a 100% on board... in realist im like 40% on board. It's SHADee as FUCK to try and propose an alliance so early... Also, Giruga (or whatever) is legit annoying as fuck. I think ever sentence he has said thus far has the word "bro" in it? Like can you not be annoying as fuck for no reason... I get it is an alias season, but they dont give you no free pass to be as obnoxious as possible. Praying we win this challenge... hopefully get first because I could totally use a reward with possibility of an advantage in the game. GIMME THAT IDOL. If we do happen to lose I cant wait for the ugly bro culture of Giruga to be the first boot this season deserves.

Honestly I love my tribe and everyone seem so nice  Not knowing who people really are is kinda crazy but I'll get use to it. 

That challenge was crazy and I'm glad it's almost over with. 

I'm bored so I'm just gonna... make another confessional. What does this alias twist mean to me? I wanna be able to make the most of it and be able to play the game I'm never capable of playing as my real self. As who am actually am I suck at seperating emotion and strategy so I'm gonna try to be as emotionless as possible, which I actually think will be easy considering idk who anyone is....... except 2 people perhaps. Anyway time to flop at this challenge xoxox give me a good edit please

i'm typing like gabby bc i don't wanna get out of practice. why is it that the only person that talks to me is misty? bianca i c that u're on and you don't respond to me you're the first person im gonna target. i swear i've sent a 'hey' message to every1 on my tribe and the only one that responded was MISTY.  then marco or whatever his name is hasn't even accepted my friend request yet... i see how it is.

Later...

I mean I figured we didn't do fantastic but losing by over half.... sucks.  a lot.  Misty and uh.... someone else just called Marco out for not accepting anyones friend request... maybe that means we can vote him out this round to ensure I stay. :) 

https://youtu.be/NSE7BsDWti0

https://youtu.be/mn4vdHFOM88

I forgot we were the Titus tribe but then I realized we got 2nd so I am very proud of my tribe! We did it yay!

So we just got 2nd and are immune this week I'm so happy. Whoever gets voted out will be crazy bc no one wants to be first boot but the weakest should go!

So, not only does Kat approach me as an alliance, but i just got approached by William and Layla, too? Damn I cant believe im winning this game :))) Anyway, supposedly Kat and William are ORG newbies? Not sure if that is a lie, but that doesnt shrink their targets by any means... Also thank the fucking survivor gods this Bro bitch aint on our tribe for the next 20 hours!!!! I hope he burns in the Devil's butthole along with his meninst culture.

So UMMMM I'm gonna just spearhead this plan to get Marco out cause he hasn't spoken... at all. I'm not afraid to take control of my tribe at this point cause the inacts gotta go. Mattie/Gabby are both pretty active so I wanna work with them. Bianca's my goddess so I wanna work with her too. It sucks she got removed or else I would've formed a majority with them. Rn I'm telling everyone "If you watch out for me I'll do the same for you blah blah blah" and making deals w/ everyone because that's how I play! Let's hope it works out xoxoxo

okay, i've been trying to be a super sleuth to figure out these identities...  I really think that Misty is really Nic.  Misty is from Georgia and Nic is from Georgia, and I think they are from around the same area.  Nic knows that I am from Georgia and now he knows that Gabby is from Georgia too so I hope he doesn't put it together, I think that I'm typing differently enough and I lowkey think he believes that whoever is behind Gabby really works at chick fil a because I've been doing my homework. I'm not sure who Mattie is yet, but I'm having a hard time NOT mentioning how much I love Glee because then I think people would obviously know who I am- or they would think that I'm Ashley Sarah, but Mattie was talking about Scream Queens and I desperately wanted to say I LOVE LEA MICHELE but I kept my cool. I lowkey think that Mattie might be Pippa though, they remind me of each other.   Everyone else....?  I still have no idea. 

Not much has happened so far. I've talked to a few people but nothing has really moved forward. I was happy to go to the devil's hole, although I didn't end up finding anything. I'm glad I got a chance to meet people from the other tribes though. It was interesting to find out that they have people who haven't even spoken in tribe chat yet? That's crazy. Also it's fun to try to guess who's who. I mean, it's possible I don't even already know the people on my tribe, but it's still fun to try to figure out who they could be. I haven't really gotten there yet. Although I wonder if Alex Raine is a bit new to the community because he's a comp beast, yet he's showing it and making it obvious and making himself a target. I don't know, he seems cool and we've talked a bit, but come merge that could be tricky for him. In terms of alliances, there aren't any yet that I'm really aware of, but Jenny and Alex are the only ones I've talked to that much and I'd be happy to work with them, despite being a little nervous that Alex is a target. He's nice and hopefully his social game is as good as his physical.

aaaaa  i got 378 score   aaaa

Bye I'm going home today...  I'm shook at how fast this game started and I saw in the tribe chat that people were complaining that I hadn't added anyone yet but I didn't get any contact requests from any of them either hm!! Anyway unless I can pull myself out of the dirt somehow I'm totally screwed right now... im an easy target bc I was not here the first day and easy targets are always just easy to vote out the first week rip...

Nothing really. I haven't acted on my plans of being an aggressive player this season, so maybe I'll adapt and get a new strategy going later. Good luck to me

Right now I feel like a mess because I keep forgetting to check skype and missing important stuff. But right now the general consensus according to Misty is to vote out Marco because he literally does not exist and hasn't added any of us. I love a good first round flop. I feel like if I start showing my fabulous personality I could have a good shot at surviving if we go to tribal again, however people might be weary of me now that I've gone to the Devil's Hole, even though I got nothing. Rob wouldn't even let me keep the rock. :'(

I can't believe I'm pippa 

these bitches are so bland and boring BYE

Why did I make Kat so happy and grammatically correct all the time I'm so used to keyboard smashing like jsjsjahajak. I literally cringe every time I add an exclamation point like pls... settle down... I regret this so much nnnn. Anyways- The people I'm closest to rn are Dianna and William because we have an alliance. I'm also good with Giruga, but that's probably because he's such a talkative person-- and so is Dianna. It's really important for me to show my worth to these people so they don't target me because social players run the early premerge. I think I'm doing a pretty good job of that so far. I'm also playing it off like this is my first time playing an org, which will make me seem less threatening. I don't really know if that'll play off since we're all catfish, but I figure the more utr I am right now the better. 

Well, I can't get into my Paul account so I'm probably being voted out. Peace ✌️ 

EP 1 EDGIC

http://prntscr.com/f4zaus

I know u don't rly do shinee but it's my birthday and it as wondering if you could do headcanons for what the members would be if they weren't idols? With maybe some romance mixed in? Your hcs are just rly good but if you don't want to do them then it's fine!!

hsfdc this is late, but i hope it is still ok!!! again, i usually don’t write for shinee but some others actually sent me asks asking for more of these guys and since it is your (quite late) birthday - here you go!!! 

shinee x career!au 

Onew

emergency room surgeon 

is insanely good under pressure and makes quick, good decisions and isn’t afraid of leadership roles. he keeps his whole team well managed and even in life or death situations for his patients - he never gives up on them or jumps to conclusions. if there’s even a one percent chance of surgery saving them, he’s willing to take those odds

looks really REALLY good in scrubs and like all the nurses argue over who’s going to work the ER night shift just so they can see doctor onew

everyone at the hospital assumes he’s a classic gentleman, and ok sure he might dress like one, but then you go out drinking with him and he’s all dad jokes, messy eating, and totally a goofball 

you’re on one of the night shifts at the hospital and it’s pretty dead, just people coming in with the stomach flu and what not so the surgery department is pretty much falling asleep where they stand 

and you’re walking by with some snacks that you brought down for them

and once you get to Onew you’re like “Doctor, are you hungry?”

and Onew gives you this random smile, one that looks way too excited and you’re like ???

and Onew shrugs and then goes “How can I be hungry, when I’m Doctor?”

and everyone around you groans because god how much more cheesy can you get 

but you - you damn near drop all the snacks you’re holding because you laugh so hard you try to use your hand to slap your knee but everything tumbles out of your hands and Onew gives you this shining grin because FINALLY someone has acknowledged his comedian side

and he helps you pick up the snacks and he’s like ‘want to hear another good joke?�� and you’re like yes please oh my god

and he tells you jokes the whole night because no surgeries come in and you end up in tears at how bad, but funny they all are

and when shift changes come along, Onew offers to go buy you breakfast if only so he can tell you more jokes (and you know,,,,,get to know you a little better because hey you think he’s funny and you’re mega cute)  

Key

dog show judge 

know way too much about dog fashion. like way too much. like no one should have this much knowledge on such an obscure topic

is universally feared and respected through the dog show community and anyone who participates is always worried about him because he has the highest standards

loves poodles. has a poodle shaped pen that he takes notes with when studying the contestants

if Key takes a photo with a dog, that dog becomes internet famous

owns 53 different ties all with different breeds of dogs on them

you’re a novice when it comes to dog shows, but your friend really wanted to enter her toy poodle in an upcoming event - too bad she got sick the day of and begged you to fill in

so you’re standing there in line and being judged by a bunch of well….other people with dogs

and your friends dog is dead about to roll over and fall asleep on your shows and you don’t know the first thing about dog show etiquette and you’re just a mess

and when you go up you see this handsome man in front of you whose eyes are piercing your soul and you’re like gulping and he’s like

“Well, what is your dogs name?” and you almost forget your own name when he speaks to you because wow dear god he’s - stunning but you mumble out the dogs name

and Key examines the dog like it’s some invaluable work of art and you see a small smile and you’re like ok ok ok he likes the dog

but then the portion where you have to walk the dog around the ring comes and you’re like trying to get the pup to budge but it wont and you can feel all these eyes on you and you’re like c’mon please,,,,,,

but then all of a sudden your friends dog bolts and pulls you along with the leash and you lose your footing and almost fall face first to the floor

but thankfully someone catches you around the waist, supporting you back to your feet and you look up and Key gives you a chuckle and he’s like

“First time?” and you nod your head, looking at him like a lost puppy and he’s like “You’re lucky you and the dog are cute.”

and with that he takes a hold of the leash from you, makes a clicking noise and the dog follows his commands perfectly as he walks the ring with it

and everyones whispering like oh MY god,,,,Key helped them out,,,, K E Y of all people,,,,

and when the show is over, your friends dog manages third place and you’re happy with that but when Key hands you the ribbon he slips in something else before leaving with a sly smile

and you look down to see a number on a piece of paper and it says ‘third place for a first timer is ok - but call me, and we’ll make that pup a winner.’

is Key asking you out because he thinks you’re adorable or because he thinks your friends dogs is adorable? im sure you’ll find out on your date~

Jonghyun

movie director 

aesthetics, a e s t h e t i c s, A E S T H E T I C S 

“how can such a loud voice come from such a tiny body?”

gives actors acting advice without ever having acted himself but the advice is actual super good tbh he’s very in demand for movies nowadays

loves directing tragedies. he lives for the Drama 

will openly criticize bad script writing and will demand changes if he thinks things aren’t working out

he basically tries to do 23354 jobs at once, but his passion for good movie making is why any movie he directs ends up being a blockbuster

you work on the lighting crew for jonhyun’s latest film and everyone around you is always complaining about him having a ‘stick up his ass’ because he’s a perfectionist 

but you always feel uncomfortable talking about him that way because you know how hard he works and how much effort he puts into things and so most of the time you just don’t take part of the conversation

until one day one of the interns turns to you during break and is like ‘what’s the directors problem? he keeps badmouthing the male lead - but that actor has like ten years of experience. the director is so damn full of himself’

and you want to just keep eating your sandwich but you’re like no Time to Spill the Tea

and you’re like “that actor has ten years of experience of bad acting. he debuted with a movie that was a flop and has only starred in flops since. jonghyun is trying to save his ass from another flop so really we all need to shut it and let him do his job because without him - that actor would probably be done for.”

and with that you excuse yourself and get up to go get some coffee from the refreshments tent but you walk straight into someones chest and you’re like eep- im sorr-

and you look up to see jonghyun and you’re like gfdkhlslfd oh m y god im sorry director-

but he just grins and suddenly puts his arm around you and is like “do you mean that? that im that actors saving grace?” and you’re like oH YOU HEARD

and jonghyun gives you a toothy grin again and is like “you don’t think i need to get off my high horse?” and you like shake your head like “tbh i dont think you were on a high horse in the first place, that actors just on the floor compared to you.”

that makes jonghyun laugh and he ruffles your hair a bit and you blush like,,, what’s he doing,,,,,

and jonghyun is like “it’s nice to have someone on your side in the crew - remind me to hire you again for my next movie.”

he gives your hair another ruffle and you’re like omgomomog he likes,,,me,,,enough to want to keep working with me omomomg

and tbh you can’t help but do a little victory cheer for yourself and jonghyun’s going back to re-read the script but he can’t stop himself from smiling because he’s like “who knew we had such cute people working for us,,,,,” (you. he’s talking about you)

Minho

sports broadcaster 

everyone loves him because he starts off relatively calm and you know he’s making comments about the teams strategy

but halfway into the game he’s pulling his tie loose and yelling into the mic and losing his goddamn mind over a game of soccer

and whenever korea gets a goal he belts out like half the national anthem and is like KOREA 4 LYFE

and he basically gets super hyped and in turn it gets everyone else super hyped and it becomes a party

once ripped his pants jumping up onto the announcers desk and almost mooned every1 on tv,,,,,,beautiful 

you’re his makeup artist and every time you’re like ‘Minho if you sweat a lot the concealer might come off-’ and he’s like ‘ok i promise i won’t start getting overworked’

but LOL that doesn’t last by the next commercial break you have to run over and wipe the sweat of and touch up his whole face

and you’re always grumbling like Minho,,,,you are killing me,,,,,

and he’s always apologetic giving you the damn puppy eyes and you’re like thAT DOESNT WORK JUST CALM DOWN AND DONT SMUDGE UR MAKEUP

but then the next break comes and you’re back over there to touch him up and one day you’re just like “i swear you’re worse than idols who have to sweat when they’re dancing - you’re just here getting worked up over-”

but then you feel his arm come up to touch your cheek gently and he’s like “really, i know it’s hard but im really happy you bare with me.”

and you look at him, a small bit of sweat still apparent over his brow and his deep set pretty brown eyes and you swallow like

oh,,,,,it’s nothing i was just saying that because,,,

and Minho’s lips curl up a bit into a smile and he’s like “after this don’t fix my makeup - just get your things so we can go get dinner.”

and your heart jumps but you’re like gflkgljfe ok 

and the camera man is like we’re back on in 5 seconds and you need to scramble off the set, but then you catch Minho’s eye and he winks and you’re like,,,,,,,,,oh,,,,,,

and you’re like he really is a sweet perso- and then he starts yelling and you can see him touching his face with his hands and you’re like MINHO YOUR MAKEUP GOD  DAMMIT

Taemin 

museum tour guide 

“what did you study in college Taemin, art history?”

“I studied Egyptology with a minor in mortuary science. Do you want me to tell you exactly how it was that they made mummies? I even know the step-by-step intestines extracti-” 

weird facts enthusiast 

refuses to wear the ‘suggested uniform’ of the museum staff which is light and friendly colors he’s fine wearing his black eyeliner, black jeans, and black large sweater that swallows him whole

tells kids about how the god seth murdered osiris and when parents are like isn’t that a bit explicit Taemin is like ‘death is a part of life, they know that - right kids? we all die, isn’t that fun?’

how he hasn’t lost his job is a mystery 

you’re at the museum looking for something fun to do for a freelance project and you’re like trying to gain inspiration from all the cool ancient gods but nothing’s coming to mind

and Taemin notices how you keep scrunching up your nose and writing things down only to cross them out hastily and curmple the paper

so he like comes over and is like ‘Need help? (—-:’ and you’re like sighing like ,,,,, no not re-

but then you look up at him and you’re like in your head like o wait no ur hot and so you’re like ‘yeah!! do you know anything cool about the Egyptian gods-’

Taemin puts up his hands and is like ‘Say no more. I’m the man you’ve waited for your whole life.’

and you’re a bit red like,,, oh,,,w-what and Taemin is like my shift ends in 5 minutes wait here

and that’s how you end up in a cafe across the street where Taemin unleashes the longest explanation of ancient gods that you ever thought you’d ever hear in your life

but somehow it is super entertaining, maybe because Taemin is so passionate or maybe because the topic is actually much cooler than you expected

and Taemin somehow finally stops and you’ve got a whole half book of notes and he’s like hope i helped!!! and you’re like you did more honestly how can i ever repay you 

and Taemin scratches the back of his neck and he’s like ahhh,,,wanna go see this new documentary coming out on King Tut with me? Unless that’s bori-

but you’re like YES let’s do it it’s a date and Taemin is like cracking out into this big smile because usually people don’t want to be around him when he’s geeking out over stuff he likes but you seem so eager and he’s just like before you leave he’s like 

“can i kiss your cheek?” and you’re like omg ,,,sure but why did you ask?? and Taemin is like “Goddess Isis would not be pleased if I didn’t ask you first-” and you’re like hehe cute