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For the past days I've been gathering references for like 10 different art pieces but I've started none of them

the thing that makes my entire body itch about that darcy confession scene parallel is that that's the fucking MIDPOINT of darcy's and elizabeth's story. you've baked the pancake halfway and you've tossed it in the air and you're holding your breath --- and now you've got to catch it and BAKE THE OTHER SIDE!!! you can't just roll the credits and leave me hanging like that!!! what if there's never a third season??? the pancake is ON THE GROUND NEIL!!!

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ALRIGHT I MOVED.

if you want to see more of me go to @carnivalcarrion!

Fucked up that buying new herbs and spices means eventually running out of room in the spice cabinet. Them shits should exist in hammerspace

day 1349

I love Sora because of the atrocities. The way unreconciled grief destroys someone, so wrapped up in a 'eye for an eye' than she became worse than the person she wanted to kill. I love the tragedy in that! I hope one day she sees her sisters spirit, and all Crane can do is look at her in disgust.

Stuck on the couch of it all - much like so many of us but I’ve been thinking about the couch in the camper (still so obsessed with the camper van - so so much to unpack and unpick with that camper and how its Buck, Eddie and Christopher in microcosm!!) and how Eddie was trapped between it and the fridge - but also how he was essentially thrown into the couch and then trapped by the fridge and how that actually ties in very interestingly with both theories - fridge and couch.

Because there is something in how the woman who was a reflection of Buck - taking care of her friends child and keeping the things they shared alive and so the memory alive as well (not to mention the coffee metaphor thrown in there too!)- ended up laid out on the couch before she was rescued and have that shown to us from very similar angles that we see Buck sleeping on the Diaz couch.

Then to have Eddie thrown into that couch and hold out his st Christopher over said couch that he is now pinned to by a fridge which is the same colour as his ovens (the very thing we’ve seen him and Buck using in their respective houses this season when we haven’t before) and kitchen utensils (again the colour of which Buck ad Eddie share). When we have a fridge theory that is an embodiment of of Eddies life - the magnets and their comings and goings representing aspects of Eddies life (the little magnet people being the firefam - his found family, the ghost of Shannon memorialised in photographs and Christopher - always being present in varying amounts through pictures and school calendars etc) and where he is mentally - forcing him and trapping him on a couch when the Diaz couch has visually been shown to be a place of safety, comfort and home for all three of them. 

Then to have him hold up the representation of the will over the couch present in the scene - over the place where the woman who was a representation of Buck - well thats pretty telling to me. 

especially when we then saw Buck help Eddie get out of where he was trapped and then have them sit together for a moment (where Eddie shuffled a little bit closer to buck) - they of course got called away to continue rescuing and helping the fire fam, but the fact that we got to see that little moment was a call back to the hardware store and Bobby telling Eddie how ‘Athena sat with him in the moment and things grew from there’ 

The universe is pushing Eddie closer to the answer - to figuring out things for himself because if the fridge is a metaphor for Eddies thoughts/feelings - a physical representation of where Eddie is mentally (for the audience) then a fridge (in a microcosm representation of the Buddie story) pushing him closer to the couch and then waving the will over the top of it (the st Christopher) while under a rug is meant to be read as a clear signpost to the audience that while Eddie and Buck are not talking about that will at the moment - while they are still  this is actually where things are going because its a representation of all the threads beginning to come together and create that string of fate!

In case anyone thought I was kidding about printing out AO3 comments and sticking them on my fridge, I WAS NOT.

I couldn't tell you why, but something about Halsin taking the time to write "My Dear Nettie" and reminding her to take care of the animals and not to feed anymore fish to Tuffet the bear really gets to me - the note is literally rushed and scribbled, but he still took the time to be kind.

lowkey obsessed with the domestic college stommy au that lives in my head

every now and then i remember the time a few years ago, when sdmi fandom first had its revival thanks to netflix, when a wildly popular sdmi blog run by an anti said the words 'perfectly good Black woman' in reference to why you should ship [man you could easily read as white, whose arc she was fridged for] with her instead of [hatesink character whose race is ambiguous due to being a furry, but has a BLISTERINGLY antiblack narrative under a thin layer of fantasy racism, with a fun side of homophobia and holocaust denial the latter of which is directly invoked in the post], which got hundreds of notes, and i grimace my face through the back of my head all over again lmao

yakou furio's character is so tragic to me. i wanna meme about how they used the fridged wife trope but other than that it's like. he lost his family and later all of his coworkers and just. existed alone for years.

looking at the state the submarine and especially his bedroom was in, with everything being a mess and all the cigarette butts in his bed, yakou was clearly depressed. he wouldn't even take on any interesting cases to fulfill his passion as a detective because he was so afraid of the peacekeepers. instead he just kept his head down. surviving but not actually living.

and then he finally gets some new detectives to work at his agency and the first thing he can do is fail to save most of them from dying horribly. but the five that yakou did manage to save latch onto him and he starts getting into a leader role! even if his new coworkers are all rowdy and get into trouble they still respect him as a leader and look up to him.

the detectives keep picking fights with the peacekeepers that yakou has been trying so hard to dodge. and usually the resolution is kind of messed up because the victims die but the detectives prove themselves capable of handling the peacekeepers! they're helping people! for the first time in a while, yakou comes toe to toe with peacekeepers willingly, to help his new friends. he realizes that he is able to stand up against amaterasu corp, with the help of the others.

but by the time he realizes this, the stage has already been set. the letter from yomi turned his grief into anger and a thirst for vengeance. although yomi gave him the information and opportunity, yakou was ultimately the one who chose to murder the man who murdered his wife.

yakou has already rebuilt his life after his wife's death. the detectives at his agency look up to him and he would do anything for them. it would never be the same as the life he had with his wife but yakou had the chance to turn over a new leaf with a new found family who cares about him.

but instead, yakou plans a murder. he needs to die, over and over, in order to access the man he wants to kill and he accepts it. he needs to trick two kids, who look up to him and who he cares for, into becoming his accomplices to the murder and he accepts it. in the wake of forcing his detectives to witness his murder, he needs leave them in a lab filled with peacekeepers who want to kill them and he accepts it.

and it's not that he doesn't care about his detectives. yuma and halara disobeyed his orders and assaulted several peacekeepers, and he was willing to be arrested himself before throwing his employees under the bus. yuma and fubuki were implicated in terrorism and yakou and the others solve the case for them, then prepare to fight an army of peacekeepers to protect yuma.

for his murder plan, yakou only needs desuhiko and fubuki's powers. but he brings halara and vivia along as well because they would be able to protect the two younger detectives and fight their way out of the lab after yakou dies. he enacts his plan on a day that yuma wasn't around because he won't be able to help fight peacekeepers, so it's better to just keep him out of this mess. he covers up his murder-suicide to protect his detective's feelings, but also because they would be implicated as his accomplices if his plan was revealed.

and yakou probably expected that the other detectives would be fine. if they'd left him behind to die, the other detectives probably would have been able to either fight their way out or hide out in the lab a bit longer and figured out a good plan to escape. if yakou had his way, he would have gotten his revenge and his detectives would have gone home grief-stricken, but unharmed and forever unaware of their roles in his death.

but yakou doesn't account for the fact that the other detectives would try to save his life. yuma doesn't run after the hitman and escape the peacekeepers, he stays behind to beg yomi to help yakou. fubuki uses up all her energy to rewind time to try to prevent yakou's death instead of helping the others escape the lab. halara, vivia, and desuhiko not only have to fight off peacekeepers, but they also have to carry yakou to a hiding spot to give first aid. and instead of calmly planning their next move, everyone is desperate to solve the case so there would be any chance of getting yakou to a hospital as quickly as possible.

one major theme of rain code is that despite tragedies that may have happened in the past, people can work together with those they care about to live a better life in the future. and yakou could have had that. his wife's death should have stayed in the past, and he should have continued to mentor the other detectives, solving mysteries together and enjoying each other's companies.

but yakou couldn't let the past stay in the past. he had every chance to not go through with his murder. he has new people he loves, but he manipulates them and puts them in danger in order to get back at the person who killed the last person he loved. his victory was a pyrrhic one. he got his revenge but in return, he destroyed himself and his detectives' trust in him. he enjoyed his revenge momentarily before dying and leaving his new family, who he used their love and trust for him to his advantage, to pick up the pieces.

yakou furio had lost everything in the past. but in trying to pursue it he destroyed everything he had in the present. that's the tragedy of his character to me.