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an-absolute-travesty · 3 years

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Secret Santa fic!

Heya @all-eternity it was me all along! I hope you enjoy this :) very much looking foward to actually being able to follow you after this without looking sketchy lmao

Also shoutout to my lovely beta reader @keepersandqueens as if I don’t talk about Salas enough here lol

Warnings: underage drinking, drinking in general, hangover, drugs/medication mention (not abused, basic over the counter stuff dw), mentions of vomit (not described)

Pairings: Kam, background marelinh, ex titz

About: Kam coffee shop college au

Word count: 5,205

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added or removed): @cadence-talle @ruewen-and-rising @lemontarto @a-lonely-tatertot @clearlyvacksen @percabetn @sewersewersewercouch @everyonehasthoughts @imaramennoodle @enbies-and-felonies @blxckh0les42 @rainbowtay-11 @callas-starkflower-stew @impostertamsong @appalyneinstitute1 @stars-and-splendor @anna-without-an-e @mistythegenderqueermess @we-have-no-bananas-today @we-wont-dissapear @jadenightthewriter

Tam stumbled into his first 8 am class, anxiety making his heart feel like it was pounding out of his chest and stomach doing backflips.

If he could survive bouncing between foster homes, a short stint at juvie, and worst of all high school, he could survive college.

Well he thought he could until he saw a familiar person right next to the only available chair in the room.

God fucking damn it.

"Hey Bangs Boy!" Keefe waved him down, causing a scene. Tam had no option but to sit beside him, both because of the lack of chairs and the fact that everyone was now staring at him.

Not a great start.

"What a coincidence! I notice you still haven't taken my suggestions on your hair, I'm telling ya' you'd get all the girls and or guys and nonbinary pals with a man bun." Keefe looked smug at the fact he'd be able to taunt Tam for another semester, minimum. Tam was already making a mental note to check when he could swap out of classes.

"Keefe, if I knew you were going here I would've just gotten myself back in jail, oh wait, you were the one who got me in there in the first place." Tam shot him a look, praying that he'd suddenly develop superpowers and shoot lasers from his eyes.

"Hey, just because I came up with the idea...and helped with some of the execution, doesn't mean I'm responsible for you trashing your parents house. Besides, you were only in there for like 3 days max before you got out," Keefe said, shrugging as if 3 days in jail was no biggie.

"Most peaceful 3 days of my life," Tam sneered, turning back to the front of the room as the professor walked in.

"Good morning class!" the prof turned to the white board, writing his name. "I am Dr. Harding," he tapped it for emphasis.

The class was silent.

"And you say good mor..."

"Good morning Dr. Harding," The class said in unison, they all sounded tired and bored.

This wasn't going to be fun.

~*~

"Grande ice vanilla latte for...Hen-are-y?"

The man shot Keefe a look as he grabbed his coffee.

"Henry." He dropped a tip in the jar, fifty cents. How generous.

He had come in before, and never left good tips. Keefe made it a game to pronounce the names of anyone who wasn't a college student and left bad tips wrong, no matter how much they came in. It was a wonder he hadn't been fired yet.

As he turned preparing another drink, the bell at the top of the door rang. He ignored it at first until he heard a quiet, "Fuck," come from behind.

"Bangs boy!"

"Why are you here?"

"I work here obviously," Keefe walked up to the counter. "Now, what'll it be?"

Tam sighed. "Iced caramel macchiato with two extra shots of espresso."

"Size?"

"Venti."

Keefe whistled thinking about how much caffeine that was as he wrote down "Bangs Boy" on the cup.

"Alright, that'll be 5.75, may I ask why the insane amount of coffee? I believe I remember you saying caffeine makes you anxious in high school."

"Yes, but it also helps me focus, and I have a quiz tomorrow I haven't studied for."

"Fair enough," Keefe said, going to prepare the drink. "It'll be ready in five."

Tam nodded, walking off to the side and scrolling on his phone. Keefe made the drink, occasionally sneaking looks over at Tam. He didn't seem to notice, thank God.

Soon after, they finished the transaction.

"See you at class," Keefe said, he was trying to be genuine, but it came across more taunting.

Tam grimaced, muttered "Thanks for the coffee," and walked out the door.

~*~

The class fell silent as a disheveled Dr. Harding walked in, a pack of gatorade in one hand and bottle of tylenol in the other. He popped one as he sat down.

"Hello class it seems today I have the worst headache imaginable, just give me about 5 minutes of silence and we will go over your assignments."

Keefe leaned over to Tam's desk.

"Well, we know what he got into last night," he whispered. "Heard the bar on the corner of 5th was giving out two for ones for professors."

"Isn't that place run by the alumni?"

"Exactly. Gotta thank Alvar tomorrow, Fitz said it was his idea."

"Wait Fitz goes here too? Why did I not-"

"Boys!" Dr. Harding practically yelled. "I am tired of the racket." He put his face in his hands where his elbows rested on the desk, bald spot showing to the world.

"We were whispering!" Keefe made a 'what the hell' sort of gesture. Tam glared at him, hoping he could communicate 'I will kill you myself if you say another word' with just his eyes.

"Sencen, do I look like I care?"

Keefe winced a bit at the use of his last name. That was something Tam could understand.

"Look, boys," Dr. Harding stood up and turned to the chalkboard, writing something down. "If you all like talking so much, you'll love this next project."

He walked to the side, revealing the board, that read '10 page essay, due the 25th'

"With the person next to you, you'll be writing a 10 page essay on um...the importance of keeping your oil changed in your car. You'll then present it to the class. It's worth 25 points."

A student raised their hand.

"Luka?"

"Sir, I thought this was a psychology course?"

"It is. You are all excused."

With that, he left the room with his tylenol and gatorade in his arms. The students glared at Keefe and Tam as they all got up, muttering amongst themselves about the pure bullshittery of it all.

"So..." Keefe said, slowly standing. "Does the library tomorrow at 3 work? I have work until then, so it can't be any earlier."

"Yeah, sure." Tam promptly walked out of the classroom as fast as possible, he didn't know why but his anxiety was spiking. He tried to tell himself it was just because he was a useless gay that didn't know jackshit about cars, yeah, surely that was it.

Just a useless gay.

~*~

Tam waited at a table in the library, it was 3:05, Keefe was late.

He didn't know what else he expected from him, he always seemed to do stuff like this. At the same time, Tam didn't have the energy to be particularly mad at him. This was going to be the stupidest essay ever written in the history of man, might as well put it off.

The library door slammed open, and in came Keefe. He balanced a large stack of papers and books along with four drinks. He stumbled over to Tam and practically threw them down on the table.

"Sorry I'm late, I thought it would be nice to, like, get you a coffee, but I didn't know how much caffeine you wanted, so I got one decaf caramel macchiato, one normal, and one with an extra shot, and also hot chocolate for me."

He sat down in the chair by Tam, as if getting three different coffees for someone you were forced to do a project with was totally normal.

"Um...thanks, I-I can pay you back-"

"Don't worry about it." Keefe turned to him and smiled, bright and friendly. Tam was frozen. "Okay, now it's car time." Keefe turned back to the desk.

"Yeah."

They were silent for a while as they researched, Keefe going through his piles of papers and books and Tam on his laptop like any sane person would.

Tam finally worked up the nerve to talk.

"So um...this is out of nowhere, but I think you mentioned Fitz went here?"

"Oh, yeah." Keefe put down the absurdly large textbook that was set up in front of him. "He's my roommate, he uh thought it would be best not to tell you after everything, I guess."

"That's fine," Tam shrugged like he didn't care. "I'm over it."

He was, really. They only dated like 2 weeks, sure it ended with a...pretty big fight after Fitz claimed he wouldn't be able to date someone who had gone to jail and Tam reminded him it was his best friend that got him in there in the first place, but he was still over it. There was still something bothering him, nothing to do with Fitz himself but...something. He just couldn't put his finger on what.

"Alright, I'll take your word." Keefe shrugged, setting his giant book back up in front of him.

Tam felt the need to start talking again, but didn't. They were mostly silent for the next 40 minutes or so, just researching and the occasional word exchanged between them.

Keefe checked his phone.

"Shit," He got up. "Work emergency, I gotta go. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah that works."

"Chill, see ya' later."

"Bye."

Keefe waved (with a wide grin Tam would've called idiotic in high school) as he went out the door.

Tam found himself with a smile on his own face, he quickly stopped, hoping no one saw.

~*~

Keefe hurried into work, pulling his apron on as he saw the absurdly long line and a panicked Marella frantically making coffees behind the counter. She sighed with relief when she saw him.

"Thank God," She said as he stepped behind the counter with her. "There was a scheduling error, Forkle's useless at that stuff."

Mr. Forkle, their well-meaning but often mistaken manager, was out of town at the moment. The fate of the Starbucks rested on two college kids, what could go wrong.

And so they went, Keefe taking orders and Marella fulfilling them until there were no more to serve.

Marella, quite literally, threw in a towel she had wiped her face with. Promptly going to the back, presumably for her break. Keefe followed her.

"Alright, I think you can probably go back to whatever you were doing before this now if you'd like," said Marella, inspecting the small braids in her hair in the nearest shiny surface.

"Nah I was just doing a project with Tam for Harding's stupid class, he's probably left by now, I might as well rack up some overtime."

Marella turned back at him, clearly caught off guard at the name.

"Tam? As in my-girlfriend's-brother Tam? As in you-had-a-massive-crush-on-in-highschool Tam? As in dated-Fitz Tam? As in you-got-him-in-jail-"

"Yes! Yes! Why does everyone remind me of that, it was one time."

"When you get someone in jail, people tend to remember," Marella went silent for a second, thinking, before looking Keefe in the eye. "Wow, that must be awkward as hell, I mean seriously, if I were you I'd straight up file a restraining order just to avoid him. Maybe move to another country. I hear Estonia is lovely this time of year."

"Eh, it's not as bad as it seems. I mean it was awful at first, mostly because I tried to resume right where we left it on the taunting front, but I think it's ok now."

"Hm. Well good luck with that," Marella turned back to go to the front, but Keefe grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Uh, actually I need your advice on something. It has to do with Tam."

"Shoot."

"Well I was thinking of maybe, I don't know, asking him out or something? Look, yeah, it's an awful idea but is it 'he never wants to talk to me again' awful or 'he attempts to strangle me' awful?"

Marella looked him up and down, eyes uncomfortably cold, as usual.

"I mean, no hetero, but despite your annoying qualities you're a decent looking guy. Plus Tam's, like, super anxious according to Linh, so maybe he'll be too awkward to say no. You can probably squeeze at least one date in there."

"Wow, thanks Mare," Keefe mumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, I try. Also don't call me Mare."

"Alright Ella!" Keefe called as the front door's bell rang, signalling a new customer. Marella went off to take care of it, unable to respond she growled back at him.

~*~

Tap tap tap tap tap.

Tam glared from across the table.

Tap tap tap tap tap tap.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

Keefe looked up, muttered a simple "Fidgety" and went right back to it, tapping his pen against the table. Tam said nothing more.

Keefe had been quiet for this entire meeting, something highly unusual for him.

"Ok, seriously dude, what's up? I haven't seen you this quiet literally ever."

He only seemed to get more fidgety at this question, his bouncing leg shaking the library table.

"I...um..." he looked down, running a hand through his hair "I have a test I need to cram for and no one to study with and keep me accountable. Y'know, ADHD issues."

Tam didn't overthink for once in his life but the moment the sentence was out of his mouth he regretted it.

"I have a test too, maybe we could study together?"

Keefe smiled his annoyingly charming smile.

"Sounds good."

"Good."

Tam quickly looked back down at his computer, trying to look like he was still doing car research when in actuality he was processing he just actively offered to spend more time with Keefe Sencen.

If Linh found out about this he'd never live it down.

He didn't think he cared.

~*~

Dr. Harding walked through the classroom door, clearly much less hungover than his last appearance.

The students waited, would they get an apology? Any sort of remorse?

"Alright, who wants to read first?"

Apparently not.

Keefe raised his hand with too much confidence for what their essay looked like. Tam gave him a confused look. He had his scheming face on, never good.

"Mr. Sencen!" Keefe winced at the use of his last name by the doctor. "What an amazing start, it's only appropriate. One of you boys come up and present."

Tam gave Keefe a look of 'do you want me to do it?' Keefe just smiled and got up from his chair. This would either be really good or really, really bad. Tam was all too familiar with the scheme face.

"Doc, I did depart from the source material a bit here, hope you don't mind. And I use 'I' because Tam had no involvement in this, he deserves full points for his essay."

Keefe cleared his throat, the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"Doctor Harding deserves to get fired: an essay. (And it's only been a week!) Paragraph one, his drinking problem-"

"Sencen! Back to your seat now. I will see you after class, or I will not see you in my next class, understand?"

Keefe gave a thumbs up as he sat back on his chair with a thud.

A few minutes later, in the middle of another student's essay, he passed Tam a note with his loopy handwriting.

"The amount of comebacks I had for 'see me after class' is absurd but if I get kicked out there's no way Elwin is helping me pay tuition a second time."

Tam tried not to smile, certainly failing, as he wrote his response.

"Yeah I think the time you talked back to Miss Cadence she wanted to expel you. Lucky Principal Alina had a thing for pseudo-dad Alden."

"Oh God I haven't talked to him in a whiiiiiile."

"?"

"You haven't heard? Yeah, he sorta found out like ALL his kids were ell gee bee tees and freaked out. Della found herself a new gf though!"

"Sounds like a lovely extra punch in the gut for a queerphobe."

"Yep. Honestly I recommend looking through his Facebook sometime. Just a million rants about how the gays destroy everything, great entertainment."

"Duly noted."

At that point it seemed like the doctor started to take notice of their note passing, and they stopped quickly. Tam wouldn't be surprised if he did the whole high school read in front of the class thing with the way he had been acting so far.

Tam was 100% sure tenure was the only thing keeping this guy's job intact. Apparently being a drunk asshole wasn't near enough to get a person out of their position. He tried to ignore the professor's annoyingly smug face for the rest of the class.

~*~

Keefe sat in his usual spot at the library, Tam sitting across from him, his brown eyes dancing across the textbook page and lips mumbling along the words. He didn't have much to do, often finding himself just staring at Tam, quickly looking away if he seemed to notice.

Eventually he sighed, sitting back.

"Ugh, this test is in a week and I have so much other crap to do, I'll never get this all memorized by Friday."

Keefe silently thanked his brain for managing to get around the having to study thing. Yay, photographic memory!

"Oh, uh, well I'm free to study more tomorrow if that would help? We could do, like, flashcards or something."

Tam seemed to repress a smile. He did that a lot. Keefe always noticed.

"That's okay, I'm sure you have better things to do. The Starbucks is always pretty packed."

"Eh, sometimes you have to get away from Marella. She's mean to me."

"Not just you, once she told me if I ever made fun of Linh's cat's name again she'd make me cut off my own bangs."

Keefe nodded sagely. "The shorter you are the closer to hell. That's why you're worse than her."

"Hey!"

Tam flicked a stray rubber band at Keefe.

"I'm at least 2 inches taller than Marella...we measured."

Keefe thought up about 12 inappropriate jokes he couldn't make before flicking the rubber band back.

"Two inches only counts in roller coasters, none of which you can ride."

Tam stuck his tongue out before returning to his studies. Unlike Tam, Keefe didn't hide his smile.

~*~

Tam strolled into the Starbucks that Friday morning, no longer surprised to see Keefe working the counter. He could barely hold still in line as he thought about the amount of cramming he'd have to do in the next few hours.

When he reached the counter, Keefe said nothing, just busily worked making a drink.

He stuck it right out at Tam.

"One venti iced caramel macchiato with 2 extra shots of espresso because you have a test today in political science and still haven't studied everything and also a muffin because you probably haven't eaten today. On the house. Good luck with the studying."

Tam froze.

"I- um- th-thaks. Y-you too...sport."

Oh, you fucking idiot.

He quickly scurried out of the Starbucks with drink and muffin in hand. Wow, he had screwed that up.

But...

Keefe...

He...

He remembered his order and that he had a test and that he forgot to eat when he was stressed holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit-

Okay, deep breaths Tam, you got this. You can totally handle a frustratingly cute guy showing care for you this is fine...

Not fine, not fine, gotta tell Linh.

He called Linh with no forewarning. Despite the fact that she was currently across the country at a different university, and it was about 3 am for her, she picked up. He barely let her get out a groggy "Hello?" before explaining everything. She only seemed to think a moment before responding.

"Hm. Well it's good to know that college is going good for you. Do you need advice or comfort?"

"Yes."

"Well, first of all, everything's gonna be okay. And I know that doesn't help much but just try to remember we're eighteen, and it's not the end of the world. Second of all, try to ask him out or something. It doesn't have to be framed as a date, like Marella and I got together on a walk in the park, seriously it can be anything."

"Thanks Linh."

"No problem, also can you hug Marella for me?"

"If she doesn't try to kill me first, yes."

"Nice. Okay go do what you gotta do, also don't wake me up at 3 am again or else I'll sic Purryfins on you, I had just gone to bed."

With that she hung up and Tam continued on his way, still trying to not completely freak out.

~*~

Keefe stared blankly as Tam walked right out of the door. Marella appeared by his arm.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Well, he called me 'sport'."

Marella inhaled through her teeth.

"Yikes. Comfort, advice, or distraction?"

"Distraction, please." Keefe replied, absent-mindedly preparing a cup for the next customer.

"Uh, well I meant to ask you what ended up happening with that ass of a teacher, but I got a bit distracted at your attempt to woo Tam-"

"Hey I said distraction not reminder. But basically I just got a slap on the wrist because, and I quote, 'Your father is Cassius Sencen! He wrote half the books we use in this class, I'm sure he can straighten you out!'"

"There's absolutely nothing papa Sencen could do to make you straight, I'm pretty sure he tried that, and it obviously didn't work."

"He actually tried a few times and it most definitely did not. Lucky he doesn't have my number anymore or else I assure you he'd keep trying."

Marella laughed.

"Well, moving on from grade A assholes, I'm supposed to tell you there's a party tonight. I'll have to send you the address later, I have it on my phone though, I am told there's gonna be booze, so I'm going."

"Eh, I'll probably go. Just to get my mind off everything."

"Thata boy." She lifted her phone. "And my shifts over in three, two, one, and I am out of here! See ya' tonight Hunkyhair."

"That's Lord Hunkyhair to you."

She just rolled her eyes and clocked out, leaving Keefe to deal with both the customers and his own thoughts.

~*~

Tam sat in his dorm room alone, constantly refreshing his grades for the possibility that his 70-year-old professor would post the test results at 1:30 am.

His roommate was gone for the weekend, actually he was gone most of the time. Tam didn't think they'd even had a full conversation before.

He jumped as his phone began to ring, a call from Keefe of all people. He hesitantly picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Tam! Tam Tam Tam Tam Tam" Keefe's slurred speech was too loud for a phone call, Tam held his phone a bit away from his ear. "...fuck wait why did I call you..."

There was a long pause, neither said anything.

"Oh yeah! I needed to tell you something...but uh I uhm I forgot what it was."

"Keefe, where are you?"

"At a paaaaaarty, well, actually just outside a party because it was hot in there, but now it's cold out here so uh yeah."

Tam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, send me the address, I'm coming to pick you up. Wait right there and don't move."

"Okie dokie."

Tam heard a thud sort of sound and the rustling of grass from the other line before Keefe hung up and soon after got a message of his location.

After 20 minutes of walking in the cold, Tam came up to what seemed to be a frat house with Keefe sitting on the lawn in criss-cross, patiently waiting in short sleeves and basketball shorts, way too little clothing for the weather. His ruddy face smiled as he saw Tam approach.

"Tam! I remembered what I was going to tell you." He stood up, face falling right after. "Oh no wait I forgot again. Ooh! You need a drink."

Keefe grabbed Tam's hand, pulling him towards the house. Tam stayed in place.

"Hey, let's get you home dude."

Keefe pouted.

"I don't wannaaaa."

He slouched down, pulling on Tam's arm like a child having a tantrum.

Tam pulled him back up to his feet.

"C'mon, if you go to your dorm without fuss I'll buy you ice cream tomorrow."

Keefe seemed much more ok with going along with Tam with the ice cream deal. He pulled off his own coat and placed it around the very drunk boy, he didn't complain.

Keefe began humming some annoying song from the early 2000s that was playing from the house earlier as they walked back in the direction of the dorms.

Suddenly, Tam remembered something.

Fitz was Keefe's roommate.

Shit.

"Hey uh do you think Fitz is at your dorm?"

Keefe nodded confidently.

"Yep! Said he was gon' study. Wouldn't come to the party because of his 'reputation' or whatever."

Around reputation he did exaggerated finger quotes, nearly knocking Tam's jacket off his shoulders.

"Hm...in that case let's go to my dorm, ok?"

Keefe shrugged, apparently willing to go along with most things in his current state. Thank goodness Linh had made Tam bring extra pillows and blankets to college, he could sleep on the floor and just hope Keefe didn't get sick on him in the night.

It was ridiculously hard to lead Keefe back to his dorm. He tried to pull down his pants halfway there and Tam almost had to carry him up the stairs but soon enough they got there. He sighed with relief as he led his inebriated friend into the room.

"Okay, you can stay here for the night. I'll sleep on the floor."

Keefe plopped himself down on Tam's bed laying flat for only a moment before sitting up with a snap and a look of realization in his eyes.

"OOH! I remember what I was gonna tell you again!"

"Oh?" Tam said playing along, expecting him to forget again.

He patted the spot next to him on the bed, Tam continued to play along, sitting next to him.

"So Marella said that I should just tell you this, and it worked for her, so I'm gonna. And uh and you have to promise to listen 'cause I'm not sayin' it again."

At this point Keefe grabbed his face with both hands, staring right in Tam's eyes and squishing his cheeks.

"You're listening right?"

Tam nodded, mostly to shake Keefe's hands off his face.

"Okay."

Keefe took in an over dramatic breath as if he was preparing to preform in the Olympics before getting another grin on his face.

"I really like you."

"You really like me?"

He nodded mumbling "mhm".

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I like you. Like, like like you."

"Like...as a friend?"

"I said I wasn't gonna repeat myself. As a booooyfriend." At this point Keefe fell back on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Tam's cheeks were burning.

"How long have you liked me like that?"

"Mmmm..." Keefe seemed to ponder for a moment, "Prolly high school."

"Oh um...good to know. You should get some rest. I'll be down here if you need me."

"Alrighty."

Tam shut off the lights and Keefe started snoring quick. Tam could only stare up in the darkness, unable to sleep.

~*~

Keefe woke up that morning in a room he didn't recognize to a killer headache and dead phone.

He turned to the side, seeing a pile of blankets and pillows with a large gatorade, bottle of tylenol, and a note next to it. Suddenly last nights memories came flooding back.

Oh, shit.

He scrambled out of bed, headache and nausea hitting him harder as he stood up.

Despite the fact his head was spinning, he picked up the note from the ground and read it.

Hey, meet me at the reservoir around 6, we need to talk -Tam

F. U. C. K.

Had he really said all that stuff last night? Surely it was a dream, right?

Oh God.

He gathered his few belongings, plus the things to help the hangover, and left the dorms as fast as possible. Only having to stop once along the way to throw up in one of the campus trash cans, hopefully no one would notice.

Keefe didn't have anything to do and he really didn't want to face Fitz so he went about his day in last nights clothing. Then again, it was a college campus. Someone walking around with rumpled clothes carrying a gatorade probably wasn't that big of a deal for most people. By 5:30 he sat impatiently in the empty park where the reservoir was located, it was colder closer to the water.

Just as promised, at 6 o'clock he saw Tam approaching on the horizon.

~*~

Tam was damn near a panic attack as he walked around the park attempting to find Keefe. Eventually he found him, sitting on a bench still in his clothes from last night, face once again ruddy from the cold. He sat next to him wordlessly.

"So," Keefe started.

"So," Tam replied, looking down at his lap.

"Tam I-" Keefe turned to face him. "I'm sorry about everything last night, I probably just made everything super awkward. Not to mention it's a giant violation of the friend code to even have a crush on your best friend's ex-"

"Yeah, about that."

"What?"

"You're gonna maybe kill me for this but uh," Tam pulled on his bangs. "I sorta talked to Fitz about it, I figured you wouldn't and apparently I was right. He said he was okay with it as long as we were ok with it."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Tam sighed, "Perhaps."

Keefe once again wore that shit-eating grin of his.

"Can I hear you say it?"

"Why don't you have to say it?"

"Already said it last night! Your turn now. Why did you take care of me while I was drunk?"

Keefe stared at Tam excitedly waiting for the answer. Tam sighed.

"Because I love you, little shit."

"Ooh you said it-"

Tam smashed his lips against Keefe's, both quickly melting into it. After only a moment they pulled away.

"Agh, you taste like gatorade and vomit."

"Well you taste like salt so really what's worse."

"Definitely the vomit."

Despite this, Tam leaned back in. This kiss was a moment longer than the last, and when Tam pulled away Keefe chased it.

"Ok, look I'm sorry but you look like shit Keefe you have to go change." Tam removed his jacket, throwing it around Keefe once again and helping him up from the bench. Keefe laughed.

"Yeah, you're right. Ooh now that we're a thing you need a new nickname!"

"I do?"

"You do, how about 'Bangs Boyf' ooh or maybe you can be my 'provoked partner' or my 'snappy spouse' my 'agitated accomplice' perhaps."

"Do you just have these ready and prepared for any situation?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets."

"You aren't Houdini, you're an 18-year-old boy that currently reeks of frat party."

"Eh that's basically the same thing. I've seen some 18-year-olds at frat parties preform tricks Houdini could never dream of."

Tam sighed dramatically. "It's a good thing you're pretty, you know."

"Hey!" Keefe jokingly shoved him.

For the first time Tam's smile wasn't repressed.

#hope you like this elliot!#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kam #keefe sencen #tam song #kotlc fic #scheduled to post at 9 am and ill reblog once i get back to my phone because ill be doing x-mas stuff

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youremyonlyhope · 3 years

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Starship Rewatch

10 years ago today (well, yesterday since I’m posting it a day later), 15 year old Hope curled up on her couch to watch a new StarKid show called Starship right as it dropped. This was the first time I got to watch a show when it was posted since I didn’t become a StarKid fan until a months earlier. I was so excited.

And now, I’m rewatching Starship for the first time in full in at least 5 years I think. I listened to the soundtrack twice earlier today, singing along at my desk at work (thank god no one else was here tonight to judge me). I still know so many of the lyrics. And so many little jokes and stuff were flooding back. Starship was my favorite StarKid show for a long time, so I’m so excited to watch this again to see if it’s still my fave.

This post ended up being really long, so you’ve been warned. But it also includes pictures of the crocheted Roach and Bugette plushies that I made as a teen.

OH. THE OLD LOGO. AHHH. I already have so many feels. The future is now! I can’t handle this. The nostalgia! The Galactic League of Extraterrestrial Exploration. My facebook account to this day says I am a Starship Ranger at the G.L.E.E. because I’ve never bothered to change it. Also, shoutout to anyone from the StarKidPotter FB and EFST days if you’re reading this. AHHH IT’S CHRIS AND ERIC. Ok I might have to pause 20 thousand times during this Starship Ranger ad to acknowledge all the StarKid cameos. Tyler! “We come to conquer... in peace!” Tyler I love you. Brian and Richard! I forgot they painted Richard BLUE. Britney and Ariel! Nicholas Joseph Stauss-Matathia! I see that StarKid’s website has shortened his name to just Nicholas Strauss but remember the days when we’d purposefully say his full name? Anyway, I literally just screamed “NICK” when I saw him because he was always one of my faves. The Old Snatch was and still is iconic. Devin and Lily! The Wizard God himself, AJ Holmes. God... remember those AJ Holmes appreciation days where we’d make Chuck Norris-like memes about AJ? So much is rushing back from the depths of my mind oh my god... It’s been so long yet it feels like yesterday... “Someone really *static* F- *static* -ucked up big time” Love it.

2 minutes and 22 seconds in. I’ve written so much. I had to pause before Joey started singing to take a moment. I love this show so much. I love these goofballs so much. And they’re all so young. Most of them are younger than I am now. This is insane.

Ok I have to promise myself not to pause as much now. *Spoiler, I failed*

“I’ll fight off this gamma radiation if it’s the last thing I ever do!... We’re going down! This is the last thing I’ll ever do!” Oh my god. Look at baby Joey. He hasn’t even graduated from college yet. And that Bug puppet! Someone remind me to dig up the pictures of my crocheted plushies of Starship puppets since I made Roach and Bugette and gave them to the StarKids at SPACE and Apocalyptour. (I also did Rumbleroar, but the bugs were my own pattern I made so I was more proud) The camera is focused in on Bug instead of Joey’s face. I love it. So much. Brannnttttttt. My god. Am I gonna freak out over every single entrance? Roach pretending to die, he’s the best friend ever. “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs.” “Or the one bug, I know.” Oh man, when that line comes back... “Dirt eater” “Exoskeleton polisher” “I wanna build honeycombs” “The bug that ruins your picnic” “A fly on the wall!” That line came back to me earlier today and I died. Remembering that line was like 50% of the reason I listened to the soundtrack today.

Nick Lang! Julia! LAUREN LOPEZ. THERE SHE IS. Lovebugs, I can’t. *Sentimental music* “You could come over to my nest and I could... tear off your head and let my larva devour your body?” How did I forget that line? The way Lauren has to kick Bugette’s larva sack to walk. But the way that it also works so well with the character. I can’t. The Mosquito Brothers!! I forgot they show up so early. “This is our sister, Sweetheart” “...YO.” I CANNOT HANDLE JIM POVOLO. The “zzzz”s like buzzing as backing vocals instead of the usual “ahs” and “oohs.” The things you don’t appreciate until years later. Darren, you genius. That is such a good detail. For a second I couldn’t remember who the Overqueen is played by. 99% sure it’s Jim (It is). Also. Overqueen like ovary... and it looks like a giant vagina. That had to be pointed out to me later. “FLATTERY WILL GET YOU... everywhere.” Why did I forget that line too? “I’m a starship ranger” “Quiet you, you’re drunk” “No I’m drunk!” I remembered that line probably like... 2 minutes earlier when I noticed Joe huddling in the background and realized that line was coming up. The way Joey lets go of the puppet so both he and the puppet walk away with their arms limp... so cute.

Before even pressing play on part 3, I can hear February saying “Let the record show I am super ahead of schedule.” and I’m dying. I forgot about Brian as the escape pod. Denise Donovan! That Star Trek prop. I’m dumb so I can’t remember if it’s a communicator or what. But I know my Uhura Barbie had a mini one that I lost within a month probably. “OxyGen” “Schience” I can’t. “Mission Log... I think I just heard a spooky noise.” How am I forgetting all of these amazing lines? “Pika-pi!” AHHH I JUST SCREAMED. “My stars, I seemed to have landed in a field of these aMiNals!” I can’t. “Can I tell you guys something?” *port de bras and falls gently to the ground* “Hello!” “TOTORO!” I’m dead. The balloon mechanism on the mosquitos! I forgot about that! “HOLY SHIT IT’S A BUUUUGGGGG” Ok something I noticed but didn’t mention earlier. The bug puppet that Joe uses when he says “I had my heart set on nourishment” is the same one red and pink one that Julia used when talking about wanting to be nourishment. When Julia actually gets eaten, she’s using a different bug puppet, the green and pink one, but the same character voice. So, I can’t tell if they intentionally had her play 2 bugs so Joe could be one of them later, or if it was a mistake. I might also just be overthinking things. “ME THINKS IT WENT THAT-A-WAY” I cannot handle Jim Povolo. That scream Joe does as he slimes her. Woah I originally wrote “There seems to be no signs of intelligent lifeforms anywhere” earlier and then deleted it since I don’t know why I found it remarkable. And then looking at the comments of this part I see someone mentioned a Toy Story reference. So that’s why that line stuck out to me. Aww StarKid. There are so many Disney references in this show.

THERE SHE IS. THERE’S MY GIRL TAZ. The pew pew effects how could I forget that! “Hey Taz. You’re pretty tough for a chick.” “I was just going to say the same thing about you.” “Woahhhhhhhh” JoMo oh my god. “My spectrometer readings are off the wazooooooo” That line kills me. Why am I JUST NOW noticing, 10 years later, that Tootsie enters this scene with his gun facing the wrong way. Oh my god. “I saw the empirical proof that science killed god. It’s comforting to know he was once alive though. I like to think that when he died, he went to heaven.” Oh Tootsie Noodles. “...What the hell kind of name is that?” “He’s got bear hands??” Why do I forget all of these lines??!? That record scratch and freeze frame to go “BOOOOOO” oh my god I forgot that. “Like the other day, he was in the cafeteria, just cah-rying in front of everybody.” BOOOOOOO. Here we go, Taz’s amazing Up monologue. “And when Up, cuts an onion, the ONION is the one who cry.” HELP. Also 99% sure I used that joke for AJ appreciation at least one year. “Now take a walk off my knife” What a line. So awesome. I remember having a profile pic on FB that was the text of that monologue and the image of Lauren screaming “WALK IT OFF” I’m still convinced that first “WOO” from the audience that we hear when Up enters is Darren. “I do not peepee sitting down” “Huh??” JoMo’s face as if he’s trying his hardest not to laugh and I can’t tell if that’s him breaking character or if Krayonder is actually trying not to laugh. “I peepee like big boy, deadgoddamnit. So stop making fun of me because it hurts my feelings” I’m dying. Also, deadgoddamnit is amazing. “if you don’t go out there and die for something, then I will kill you for nothing.” I remembered the mirror scene, just seconds before it started and already started laughing. “You’re not a failure, overall.” “Allow me to introduce you to the final member of your team. MegaGirl!” I forgot how DRAMATIC that was. I also forgot that’s how MegaGirl comes into the story.

I need to stop pausing every 5 seconds oh my god I’ll never finish this tonight if I don’t.

“All hail AstroBoy” That was the funniest line. “MegaGirl, can you kill humans?” “No. But I’d like to.” I can’t handle it. “A horse ate my cousin! Me and horses got a feud.” #1 MegaGirl doing the “I’m watching you” hand sign. I can’t. “Hey. Miráme. *Slaps* NOW ESCHUCHAME” amazing. “Or that time. You taught me calculus... CALCULUS WAS TOUGH.” I never went past pre-calc. Nope. Ah. Get Back Up. One of my fave songs. “And now we dance.” Dylan’s “OW” as they lean back. “Ok Idiotas. Say something nice. Or I will kill you.” It’s all so iconic.

“So you still think being an egg planter is lame?” “...Yes.” The larva oh my god. I forgot we see one before the end. That’s Jaime playing the larva I think. Life is definitely one of my all-time favorite StarKid songs to this day. I wish it was longer. I love it so much. And I love that its instrumental is scattered as a motif throughout the show. “It’s a short, small thing we lead. With so much potential, pointless or essential, which one can I be?” Wow. Near Pippin levels of giving me an existential crisis. Also wow Joey improved his singing so much between AVPS and Starship. “My name’s Bug” “*Gasp!* Like a bug??” “Uh... no.” “Good. I’m February, like the month, but a person.” I should start saying that honestly. “I’m Hope, like the concept, but a person.” “You boldly go where every man -hey- woman -bark woof- or data dog has ever gone before! Sorry K9DX” Adorable. Joey’s subtle little double nod he makes the Bug puppet do when he’s shocked she thinks he’s a Starship Ranger. Amazing. Ah he said goddamn not deadgoddamn! February should have known right then he wasn’t human! “Take my claw” that too. "The only thing that needs to rest are your jokes, because they are so tired.” “Woahhhhhh” No but like... why don’t I use that line in everyday life... “Now I am slightly less weak.” “Ok. I’m going to shoot this metal bitch!” I’m dying. How did I forget the Taz/MegaGirl rivalry?? “That thing is a R-O-B-O-T man” “Can’t fool me with numbers, Krayonder.” I’m dead. “The stack of hay was my cousin!” #2 The way Meredith says “barometric pressure” is great. And Tootsie saying “Well you must take real good care of it, because I never would have guessed.” He’s such a sweetheart. “Nobody shoot dammit, nobody shoot.” “KILL KILL KILL” I never really liked Hideous Creatures but it’s so cute to see MegaGirl do the choreo robotically. I love that the Gap hasn’t changed. “Cool it skank, you do not know me.” Another line that I forgot until a split second before it was said. I’m so glad whoever edited this added some pews going in the wrong way for Tootsie’s gun. I know I definitely noticed Tootsie’s gun was backwards during this part, but I don’t know if I noticed it was backwards in that very first scene too. I forgot about MegaGirl tossing out Specs. That “MEGAGIRL!!!” scream from Joe though.

“Never in my 6 long days of life.” Underappreciated joke. Also, I think this is the 4th unique upright bug puppet. We got red/pink, green/blue, green/pink, and now red/blue. Also, Nick Lang is a great puppeteer. “Yes, I helped her escape. But I swear, never in a million years, did I think I’d be caught and yelled at for it!” Oh I forgot Bugette is the witness. Jaime’s angry face behind Joey is killing me. “He didn’t know the humans were evil.” “Oh, they’re not.” “Shut up!” Humoons and hoomans. “And no more singing or dancing” *gasps of horror* “The Overqueen has overspoken.” “Well, that’s not gonna help your chances with Bugette” Oh Roach. “PERHAPS.” Jim destroys me.

God the 4-person Pincer puppet. Amazing. Dylan’s arms being strong enough to be above his head for 10 minutes straight. Amazing. Also, Nick Lang is so emotive as a claw. It took me a sec but yeah JoMo is the tail. “There were? Where are they?” Joey’s face. “Tell me all about her” The claws under the chin I can’t. Hey StarKid, I see you throwing in an ad mid-video before Kick It Up a Notch. You’re lucky I love and support you guys. “Put ‘em together and what have you got?” bibbity boppity boo. More Disney references! This scene is full of them. Man, remember when we were all blown away by Dylan’s voice in this song the first time? Like we could tell he could sing in AVPM/S, but his songs were just so jokey and only his long “Welcooooooooooome” showed us his talent. But then Kick It Up a Notch happened. And we FINALLY appreciated Dylan’s beautiful voice. “I pushed it to the limit.” and “To coin a phrase, be a man.” more Disney. I might be overthinking this and will have to rewatch Life to confirm, but I think the camera zooming out as Pincer reprises Life is just like the camerawork when Bug sang it originally. If so, then wow even when filming their shows StarKid really thinks it all through. (Update: It totally is referencing the original zooms for Life and that’s amazing. Except it’s zooming out instead of in. I LOVE the attention to detail even in filming the show. I’m gonna guess that’s Liam’s doing.) All I can see when I hear Bug’s chorus of this song is Jaime and her SPACE tour dancing, which they incorporated in Apocalyptour as actual choreography. Because they’re goofballs. The kick line. Love it. God. Even though it’s not my favorite song from Starship (just because I love Life and Beauty more), Kick It Up A Notch is one of the best StarKid has ever done. I really has everything. Dylan’s gorgeous voice. Not one but two reprises of earlier songs to throw Bug’s own words back at him. Jim’s bass line. Awesome puppets. Disney references. It’s so amazing. I love how all the comments are either about Dylan’s voice or Dylan’s ability to hold his arms up for a 10+ minute scene or both.

"Gameover man, gameover!” “I feel like cutting open your belly, and filling it with jelly” *Gasps* Oh my god, I put on the captions for a second, and the caption said *Sad spayed puppy noises* “I am in charge of this mission now.” How did I forget about the mustache until 2 seconds before it happened? “She’s got the mustache now. *Kisses head* I love you” Oh my god Tootsie. I FORGOT ABOUT THE SECOND STACHE. There’s an ad right when we see Bug’s human form and I can’t even care because look at him! Ahhh. And the blue headband! Ahhhhh. Joey you’re so adorableeeee. “Bug? Well that’s a fine name.” His concerned face then the relief. Adorable. “Thank you sir. I am a tough bitch.” “Getting nothing but bug muff?!?” I love the slight delay the audience has before laughing as they realize what was just said. “Bug. You hard, ese. You flame.” I die. “Up there. In Space!” *dramatic pointing* No I totally didn’t just do the dramatic pointing with them... no that’s not in my muscle memory from 10 years ago... why would you think that. I’ll rave about Status Quo after it’s done. “But, what if I miss you?” Awwwwwwwww. And that “Just look up.” screenshot was used for “This.” memes in the fandom for years.

Oh Joey. Status Quo is such a good song too. And he really did improve as a singer to sing it. Earlier this week I remembered that this week is also the 10th anniversary of that time Darren was hopping from city to city every single day to promote the Warblers album. And at one point in that week he did a livestream that I remember rushing home to watch. In that livestream, I am 99% sure he sang Status Quo as a little sneak preview for Starship being released later that week. (Just checked, yep he sang it in a livestream on April 20 2011) God I love this song. Then the version the boys all sang for SPACE Tour was beyond beautiful too. Ahhh I love this musical.

Ok. It’s almost midnight. I started this 3 hours ago. I’m probably not finishing the show until 2am at the rate that I’m pausing and stopping to comment. But OH WELL.

“Dr. Spaceclaw” wow. “Leaving them behind was of little consequence, but a pleasure.” Oh Megagirl. “You did a very good job today too, son.” “*Gasp* Thanks dad.” That Star Wars fake-out though. Speaking of Star Wars, I really need to rewatch Ani now that I’m actively a Star Wars fan unlike last time when I still wasn’t invested in the movies I just watched them. How did I forget about Jaime playing Junior’s new mom?? ...Does Junior get an alien incubating in his chest... is that foreshadowing... I can’t remember. (This was like... half a foreshadow) This scene is funnier now that Breredith is married. The way Junior says “Phew” I’m dead. I remembered how they restrain MegaGirl once again 2 seconds before it happened oh my god. “We deserve bubbles on our skin.” An iconic line. “Well thank the long dead god you made it, Bug!” The crunching of the handshake, I can’t. Oh someone in the comments pointed out that Bug and February are doing the Tarzan hand thing while Up’s asking Taz to see a movie. Adorable.

Get yourself a man like Tootsie who won’t stand for you talking down about yourself. “Maybe this was all part of God’s plan. He made before he died.” I love the dead god jokes. I remember years ago some kid on facebook was like “The dead god jokes are offensive” and I was like “It’s a sci-fi musical about a bug in a human body but sure worry about god being dead.” but probably in an even more immature answer. I’m just mesmerized by Tootsie and MegaGirl’s verses. God. The first Dylan and Meredith duet. Amazing. And MegaGirl’s confused face is great. “Don’t press that button, or we’ll all be sucked into space.” So... Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is? Oh shoot... ok wait no I’ll comment on that when we get there. God that is such a cute love song. I wrote barely anything just because I love that song so much. Would love to know where Tootsie’s taking her though.

Oh my god this scene! I forgot about this. How could I forget this. “Well the world always looks a little bit brighter, from on top of a lap.” I had remembered Bug sitting on Up’s lap, but not Specs. This is the part I forgot. Adorable. Ahhhh so cute. The Specs/Krayonder relationship was apparently cut from the filmed version, but was present if you saw it live. These moments are adorable. And I love how this is the second person JoMo’s had to carry in this show since he also carried Denise earlier. “Why if it isn’t Bug, my oldest friend.” and “Don’t say that, my dear.” are adorable. Oh wait. Up sat on Bug’s lap. Not the other way around. Ok. I didn’t remember this scene as well as I thought I did. I’m dying. I didn’t want to write anything during this, but oh my god “That son of a bitch Optimus Prime” I forgot that. I love the audience’s reaction to “The entire right side of my body, it’s a robot” because they all gasp, and then laugh at themselves for gasping. I knew there was something he couldn’t do without crying. I didn’t remember it being “Sir I Wanna Buy These Shoes” Christmas Song. It’s ok Up, I haven’t listened to that song in full in years. I can’t handle it. But Christmas songs in general make me cry too. Oh Up said goddamn instead of deadgoddamn too. Hmm... Aww the mother spider story. “I think the old you was just killing out of hate.” “Oh I was.” I’m dying. Awwww the nose kiss. I definitely remembered that. “Deadgodspeed soldier!” The way Joey misses catching the keys and also Darren’s “Woo!” in the audience again. So great. That 12 minute scene is just adorable and the Up story is so dramatic and hilarious.

Hmm finishing before 2am might be ambitious... “Hahaha. Then I’ll shoot him!” “Taking care of my business down on the planet is that cool with you?” Brian’s delivery of that line has always intrigued me. “How much I care about my MegaGirl unit’s survival is also a percent equivalent to zero” Rude. “You are nothing like my boyfriend, Tootsie Noodles.” “Yes, well - wait WHAAA” This scene is so different now that they’re married. “Ha. Ha. It was cute.” “You’re... a toaster.” *Slaps* Ok 1) I used to use that insult all the time and only half ironically. I was a strange teenager. 2) She just hurt a human... isn’t that against programming, or can she just not kill humans? Evil angry Brolden is something we need more of. I love Brian as a villain. More please. “You stupid goddamn robot” So I guess they say goddamn and deadgoddamnit. I’m overthinking the evolution of language in this universe. Also Brian’s screams while being choked are amazing. I’ve never forgotten those, if anything they’re better now.

AHHHH I REFRESHED AND DELETED ALL OF MY STUFF FOR BEAUTY. Kill me. I’m so mad. Let me try to recreate it but I hate myself. I was saving this draft after every part but OF COURSE I don’t save after my favorite song and then refresh.

Oh poor Meredith. Her white wig doesn’t let her blend in as much when she’s in the hoodies playing a bug. “Oh hey Bugette, we’re just trying to get Bug laid!” That bug had to know about Bugette’s crush though? That’s just cruel. “The ending is killer” ruuuuuuddddddddddeee. I know I had at least one more point, but that’s lost to the ether. Beauty is probably my fave, if not tied with Life. When I was listening to it earlier, I was overcome with emotion because it’s just such a joyful song. These days I cry over happy stuff almost as much as I cry over the sad. And these lines just hit so hard... I love it. I love this song so much and this scene so much. “Bug. She excreted her filth for you. WE DID IT!!!!!!!!” Brant Cox is so good. It really is a shame he’s not in anything else besides AVPSY and the 10th Anniversary with everyone else. “I do accept you for who you really are. A genius.” Well February, you’ll be glad to know that you thought of that, so you’re the genius. Wow. Junior’s 25, Brian was 25, and now I’m 25. This really was perfect timing for the 10th anniversary. Also I do not feel 25. “Suck off!” amazing.

I’M SAVING THIS TIME.

Ok next part. Luckily I was only 1 minute into the next part when I refreshed. Still so mad at myself... “Someone really firetrucked up big time” (Dead)God I love that line. I also used firetruck unironically. Once again, I was a strange teenager and I didn’t like cursing and I still don’t. “This is so weird, I’m so used to the scrambly version.” (It was while writing this line the first time that I refreshed and lost Beauty....) Ok as I watch AJ, it’s hitting me that he almost definitely came to the set during rehearsals and filmed his part since it’s not a green screen like the rest of them. “The hunters have become the hunted, and it’s wabbit season.” “That was a good video, until the end when it got sad.” Thanks Bug. “I think, I just had a think” See February’s smart. “I’m in a weird situation” Love that line. “Bug is a BUG!? I DON’T BELIEVE IT” Oh Junior. Dylan’s insulted face at “I am not... a dumbass.” So I can’t tell if Brian forgets he’s trapped when he moves his arms into a more relaxed position to lean on the column and then puts them back, or if it’s purposefully staged that way. Brian’s acting while he pretends to be shy and embarrassed about his evil plan is amazing and adorable. Brian has a good evil laugh, why don’t we get him as a villain more often? Also I was gonna make some sort of joke about Nick as Pincer’s left claw vs. Robert as Snarl’s left paw, but I’ll leave it be.

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT WEIGHT TAZ WAS LIFTING JUST FLOATING UP TO THE SKY WHEN SHE LETS GO. I just laughed out loud. “Damn that G.L.E.E. They’re always making twisted abominations of everything!!” I cannot handle it. And the wink. Poor Darren but also not poor Darren at all. I was just now WRACKING my mind for who could possibly be playing Pincer’s tail if JoMo was being devoured by mosquitos. It’s Brant. Literally the entire cast is currently onstage. Ok Krayonder’s been getting his blood drained for 3 minutes, why is he alive? OH I FORGOT KRAYONDER GETS UP AND SHOOTS THE BUGS. Ok and he gets chopped by Pincer’s claws too so HOW does he survive? StarKid answer!!! I forgot how dramatic this musical gets when you got both the bugs and MegaGirl coming after the humans. Aww the Vulcan salute from Specs. “I changed my name. To Tootsie... MegaGirl.” I love the reactions of the people in the audience who immediately realize what that means. I hear at least one “oh my god” that sounds like sobbing. Awwwww Tootsie’s “that’s real” speech and “I’d love you if you was the horse that ate my cousin.” (#3) just... get yourself a man like Tootsie MegaGirl. He is perfection. God the downloading love scene is so cute. I can’t handle it.

The Up saving Taz scene is so dramatic. Then Brian and Jim just calmly walk offstage. It kills me. Also why did Jaime just continue to lie there? “I just needed to learn how to kill with my heart.” Not exactly what Bug meant, but it works. God Taz climbing onto Up’s back is still the most hilarious thing ever. Whoever thought of her climbing that way was a genius. So funny. I always wanted to try it. Holding the gun up to her head like a blowdryer always gave me anxiety. Making the door out of a scrim that can be backlit was genius. Oof and bringing back “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs. Or the one bug.” just hurts. Poor Bug. My heart. This is probably the line that sticks with me to this day and I do think about sometimes.

Ok it’s now 2am and I still have 2 more parts.

I sorta love that Joey didn’t have the time to change into his blacks so he’s still in the Starship Ranger suit while playing the Bug puppet. “Save the Overqueen. I love her.” Awww. “Roach, I’m gonna get the job done if it’s the second last thing I do.” Love it. That Kick It Up A Notch Reprise though. Brian, you should play villains more often. Also remember all of us being like “LUPIN CAN SING?!?!?!??!!” “Lucky for me, God is dead. When you see him in hell, tell him Junior sent you.” Deadgod I love that line. This whole deadgod thing was just leading up to that amazing line. Oh no Bugette! Bug saying “maestro” oh my god. “DFSDSJFDSJKFDS... I’m dead.” I forgot that part! Oh my god the way Brian flicks the glasses back down on his face. Ok so I saw Lauren wiggle her way behind the mucus sac, but I didn’t see Nick come onstage. I rewinded, and I guess the zoom in shots on Brian and Joey were timed so we can’t see Nick join Lauren to be the first larva to come out. Oh well. And I love the crowd cheering as Junior dies. “And bingo was his name-o” That callback though. I forgot that the Overqueen eats Bugette’s body while crying. “Or Bugette! Oh...” Also god Roach is adorable.

Last part. 2:21am. Here we go. Krayonder got his blood sucked out by giant mosquitos and was cut up by a giant scorpion, but all he needs is a bandage around his head. Awwww the soft “I Wanna Be” playing the background as Bug begs the team to accept his bug form. Bug being so mad “It’s that bastard Pincer isn’t it?” and then being so happy that Joey does the little nose scrunch thing. So cute. JOEY’S FACE WHEN DENISE KISSES THE BUG PUPPET. Cannot believe I forgot that until 2 seconds before it happened too. “I now pronounce you man vs. machine. Fight!” WOAH. Why in the WORLD did “eep op ork ahah” come back to me. I was able to say it WITH Joey. That was straight from the DEPTHS of my teenage brain oh my god. I forgot about that oh my GOD. THAT’S INSANE. I FORGOT SO MUCH STUFF BUT I REMEMBERED HOW TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” IN BUG.

And the Beauty reprise.

God I love this musical. It’s still my fave StarKid show I think. And I’m horrified to see that it has only 500K views for the last part, so only 500K people have watched it all the way through after 10 years. That’s disgraceful. It’s amazing. Watch Starship.

It is 2:32am. I started at 8:50pm. Got sidetracked when I had to rewatch the Beauty part of Act 2 again to make sure I got my notes back in the post. Took a few bathroom breaks. But this is mostly because I paused every like 10 seconds to make a comment, so it took 5 and a half hours to watch a 3 hour musical. This why I take forever to watch things while liveblogging. I take too long to writing notes.

I’ll probably just post this in the morning. Gotta proofread for mistakes before posting.

Ok it’s the next afternoon. This post is literally 5,000+ words and takes 20 minutes to read according to a online word counter. I’m sorry to whoever read this entire thing. Your reward is the pictures of the Starship plushies I crocheted when I was 15 and 16.

(Ignore the bad lighting and my horribly chipped paint. That’s the only picture I have of the Bugette one since I gave it to Lauren Lopez a day later. I started making another for myself shortly after but never finished. Maybe I should finally finish the second one... hmm...)

#hope rewatches starkid #guys i'm not kidding it's 5000+ words i wrote a lot i commented on basically every single second of this 3 hour musical

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annakie · 4 years

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An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Ten

Let’s... get as close to home as we’re gonna for a long time.

List of Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

And we’re off! Back to the elevator.

Time to help that sweet Nassana lady’s kidnapped sister.

Am I wrong in thinking even the “ugly” planets are generally still pretty?

After reliving that fight from update eight, it’s time to find Nassana’s sis...

WHAT? A slaver all along? I’m SHOCKED. SHOCKED!

So with heavy hearts, Kaidan, Wrex and I slogged back to the Normandy, eager to do good in the universe, to save others, serve the rules-following Alliance and do no harm to those whom I will come to care about deeply in the future.

Oh, hey Hackett! What? There’s a base under seige on the Earth’s Moon, and you need me to handle it? Definitely just a VI going haywire? Good to know the Alliance wouldn’t do any illegal AI development. I’ll take care of this pesky VI who is definitely not gaining sentience nor whom will I ever interact with again, no problem!

Time to head to the Sol System!

The only thing on G’loot Praktaw Mars is a few small prothean ruins archeology teams? Boring! Why would anyone ever go there?

Shoutout to Jupiter!! (This update contains jokes for like three very specific people. You know who you are.)

(Boop!)

You guys hear about Pluto? That’s messed up, right?

BTW... ALOT replaces our local planets with updated textures from real NASA pics that have come out since 2007. Love it.

11.4 billion people on Earth. Rent must be crazy.

Luna... nice to not just call it “The Moon”. Think we can go barefoot?

I probably should have giffed THIS landing sequence but oh well.

I’m pretty sure there’s a rule that says if you’re screenshotting your ME1 playthrough you have to take a picture of the Mako + Earth on the moon. Whew, checked THAT box off.

Since this mission is all sensitive Alliance stuff, Ashley and Kaidan come with.

Is this the future site of the Punishment Soccer field?

We're whalers on the Moon, we carry a harpoon. But there ain't no whales so we tell tall tales and sing a whaling tune!

So we ran in there, easily took out one set of rockets, then had to... somewhat tediously shoot eight power couplings.

Well that’s slightly annoying, weird way to protect the power couplings but whateves, Alliance techs.

One down, two to go.

Two down and... what? Oh because just what this mission needed was more tedious shooting.

I really wanna know how these things are supposed to work. At least the textures and lights look good.

Really? Before the doors, too!?

EVERY DOOR!?

Anyway. Remember how I said there were one or two fights when I did the game on Insanity made me want to ragequit and I had to do them many, many times?

This is one of them. The 3rd base on the moon. Bane of my existence.

Oh well hey this isn’t so bad, just get that barrier up and...

I ALMOST HAD HIM DAMNIT

The near-complete lack of cover as soon as you run into that room combined with them very easily getting to flank you and shoot rockets at you close up is nothing but a deathtrap.

Hey, Shepard, how about uh... taking some cover and using some tactics?

Ash, Kaidan, let's go back out to the big room we just came through instead. You... stand there.

See? Isn’t this much better? You throw everything you’ve got at them, I’ll mash buttons from behind cover.

Easy Peasy. Fish in a barrel.

Ahhh damnit, so close, Kaidan.

Pretty sure he took out the rocket trooper right as the rocket trooper took him out.

Welp, that’s what Unity is for.

FINALLY, last VI Conduit.

Let me just take out this conduit and...

Hey, too bad I can’t read binary. I’m sure that’s nothing important, anyway, and I won’t ever feel guilty about this decision. It’s just a VI, not a friend!

Specialization time!!

Eh, let’s go Nemesis this time. Stronger Biotics are pretty great.

And it’s time to leave the moon and never consider our actions nor the Alliances motives again!

New day, new Ice Planet.

Oh, a wide-open plain huh? I know this game! Thresher Maw Incom... no?

What happened here? Will we ever know?

Reminder this location on Chohe has three Matriarch writings. So it was probably Asari that lived here, but where did they go?

Oh, okok... here we go, a map objective, THRESHER MAW TI.... still no?

Guys, I think it’s safe. No Thresher Maw here!

...damnit.

Whew, I think we outran i...

FUCK.

LITTLE DID YOU KNOW I WANTED TO DO A 180 ANYWAY, THANKS MR. MAW.

Just a few more shots and... no don’t worry about how nearly the entire mako status window is flashing red. We’re FINE.

Whew. Time to slap some medigel on that, boys.

Now, for the reason we came here.

Technically, I shouldn’t have this quest yet, since it’s the high-paragon exclusive mission, but well, I’m here now, so why not.

Trying hard NOT to kill civilians is always a bit iffy.

I... only had to reload once, and I’m pretty sure that the one civvy that was killed wasn’t my fault the first time, though.

Also, this place has some pretty great loot once you’re done.

Sadly, this mission is bugged, and imports will always think that this mission ended in a bloodbath.

From the wiki: Due to a bug, when creating the correct flags for the Mass Effect save, the file is flagged as stating that the Sirta Foundation never recovered from the attack and will likely be shutting down regardless of decisions.This bug is not fixable by editing the save file.

As far as I can tell, ME1Re doesn’t fix this. Luckily, it doesn’t have much of a bearing on the future.

Okay, a shorter update, but now I need to play some more to have more to post. Next time... maybe we’ll get to Feros?

#mass effect #bioware #gaming #video games #annakie's mass effect stuff

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makeste · 5 years

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some asks about BnHA 241 and 240 and then some random other asks

I agree with this completely, anon (especially given his attitude throughout the rest of the chapter), but I didn’t edit my initial response since I think there’s a good likelihood that he still deadpanned the line despite being 100% sincere. one could say he was Accidentally Sarcastic. anyways yeah, Todoroki Shouto is a disaster more at 11.

(but also, he’s totally right and Bakugou is in full-blown denial over their blossoming friendship. because he already decided that they’re Not Friends, and thus he has to actively work to maintain that status now. which Todoroki is making very difficult these days! can you fucking do your part to keep the fucking rivalry going, Icy-Hot?? can you at least try?? why does he have to do all the work. sometimes he forgets for a moment and Todo catches him off guard and he responds normally without thinking and doesn’t realize it until later, and god. why is everything and everyone so stupid.)

I have not forgotten (though I did mix up Pixie-Bob with Mandalay though woop)! and that annoyed me too. we only have like six female pros out there as it is. why do half of them (looking at you too, Midnight) have to be mildly sex-crazed. I know it’s not serious and they’re not actually being serious, but still, is it really asking so much to get some female pros whose eccentricities are less specifically tailored to common male fantasies. you’re a fucking hero Pixie-Bob! you’re a fucking earthbender and you’re hot as heck. why are you so worried about not being able to Get A Man. with Mt. Lady it at least fits more with her general personality from what we’ve seen, I guess. anyways, y’all know I love like 98% of this series, but this is part of the 2%, so. it is what it is.

Tomura is Endgame Thanos, a.k.a. the most sinister and most genuinely frightening of the Thanoses. this really isn’t on track to end well sob.

ah, my bad. (regardless, it was still dramatic af.)

I think she’s a six-year-old (?? she seems six-ish, idk) girl who was terrified of her father and trying to stay under his radar (which was frankly the smart thing to do based on what we’ve seen), and was trying to teach her younger brother how to do the same, and I don’t blame her at all for throwing Tenko under the bus (if that’s indeed what happened); I’m sure she just panicked and didn’t mean it. she’s just a kid. -- was just a kid. anyways she was super cute and would have made a fucking awesome hero, and her death is easily the one I’m still the most raw about out of that whole fucking nightmare. I’m not getting over that. I want her to still be alive; at one point I was convinced of a conspiracy theory that AFO had secretly spared her too (because two Shimura heirs to manipulate are better than one), and Tomura only believed that she was dead due to his fragmented memories. but that seems less likely post-chapter 236.

so yeah, I’m still very upset about this. she was good and kind and loved her brother and had a lot of spirit and she did not even remotely deserve what happened to her.

thank you so much!! one of the best parts of fandom is interacting with other people and reading everyone’s different takes and theories. lord knows I miss a lot of stuff when I read, even when I’m trying very hard to pay attention. so I love when other people point stuff out and bring up ideas I hadn’t thought about.

also! without exception, every single person I’ve ever interacted with in this fandom on tumblr has been polite and courteous and civil as fuck, even on the occasions when we disagree, and I absolutely can’t take credit for that. people are just cool. so thank you everyone. (and particular shoutout to @thequietmanno1, who for some reason I can’t tag, but whom this ask is almost certainly referring to specifically.)

lmao anon this made my fucking day. thank you!!

all right, here goes!

a) this is possible for sure in that as a rule, I never put anything past AFO, and I don’t doubt for a second he’d be capable of this. but, it would kind of suck though. specifically it would suck for Tomura, who’s only just starting to come into his own at long last, and who has gone through quite a lot to get to this point. like, that would be devastating to see him reduced to a literal puppet after all of that. and if it did happen, I don’t know what the odds would be of him actually being “saved” after that (All Might at least would try, but I can’t see anyone else being concerned enough to bother. well except for the rest of the League, come to think of it. that could be interesting), and I’d be really sad if that ended up being how he went out. these things usually don’t end up working out too well for the body snatchee.

plus, this also hinges on whether or not AFO is capable of transferring his quirk to Tomura’s body. if not, there’s no way he’d take the tradeoff, regardless of how powerful Tomura’s own quirk has become at this point. that would just be a really bad deal. like trading the cow for beans, except these ones aren’t even magic beans, just like. normal beans. but if he does have a way of transferring the AFO quirk, then yeah. although he could take anyone’s body then if that was the case, and I can think of a few targets who just might be even more tempting than his protege. All Might’s protege, for one. ...you know what, this line of thinking is starting to get a little too horrifying so let’s move on to the other theory lol.

(b) a few people have mentioned the Shimura Momo theory to me, but to be totally honest, I can’t see much of a logical basis for it other than them bearing a slight resemblance and having similar hairstyles. Inko has also been brought up as potentially being related to Nana for the same reasons. it’d be cool, no doubt, but for me, I need more evidence than just that. I just don’t see how this would advance the plot or the characters’ storylines in any meaningful way. I guess it could potentially tie Momo in more to the central plot, but it’d be kind of a weird way to do it, idk.

then again I’m one to talk, because until fairly recently I was on board with Hagakure of all people turning out to be a Shimura (Hana, to be specific). she’s the traitor, she’s invisible, we never did find out what Hana’s quirk was, and this would mean that Hana was still alive this whole time which would be GREAT, because seriously fuck you Horikoshi!! but yeah that doesn’t seem likely now either. dammit.

anyway, so I’ll just say that both of these theories are possible, but for me personally, in order to be sold on a specific theory I need to be able to see how it logically fits within the storyline and how it moves the story forward. like, Dabi being Todoroki Touya is something I’m 100% on board with, because that’s an established mystery in the series (who is Touya, what happened to him, who is Dabi, etc.), and Dabi fits into place with the evidence we have, and it gives us a lot of Todoroki drama and gives Endeavor and Shouto a personal connection to the Leagu... Pliff. but for something like the Momo theory, I would need there to be some indication that there’s a third sibling we don’t know about, and some hinting about there being more to Momo’s past than we know, and right now I don’t see either of those things, so it’s hard to get on board. hopefully that makes sense.

anon I really like that you phrased this as an inevitability lol. (and I am 100% on board.)

assuming this happens at the very end of the series, I like to think Tomura and the rest of his gang will manage to “escape” the heroes (“oh no... Tomura... he’s getting away... this is awful... somebody stop him” meanwhile no one is making even the slightest effort to move lol), at which point they will live the rest of their lives happily ever after as Lovable Outlaws and All-Around Scamps. like, maybe they’ll still commit some crimes, but they won’t be like serious crimes or anything. they’ll have more of a Guardians of the Galaxy vibe, maybe. I want them to be happy and I don’t want them to go to jail even though they’re teeeeeeeechnically murderers, I GUESS (look, nobody’s perfect!!). but maybe they steal the occasional priceless artifact and inadvertently wind up saving the world. seems like the best compromise.

lol I don’t know what this means either. like in the way a Youtuber has their own brand?? or like Frito-Lays. idk all I really do is talk a lot about an extremely popular manga, so I don’t think that’d really count?? I’m fine with this just being a little tumblr discussion blog haha.

so I’ve gotten like a half dozen asks and messages about this lol. (someone actually told me a very specific detail about said past! so just to remind everyone, I’m spoiler-free on Vigilantes right now guys, I’m sorry. I know it’s no fun.) I regret to admit that I still have not yet gotten around to it. I don’t know what it is, but I’m having a lot of trouble reading new stuff right now. I tried to start the other new BnHA spin-off which @temperatezone told me about (and btw no I did not know about it, so thank you!!) (and also! BnHA has THREE SEPARATE FUCKING SPIN-OFFS right now, how fucking crazy is that. like, I don’t want to accuse a manga series of literally trying to take over the world, but!! seriously that’s just insane), which has an amazing premise, but I haven’t had time/been in the right mindset to start that yet either. it sucks. I’m sorry. I’m working on it. ;;

press f to pay respects to what could have been, guys. they literally had it all. class, an ironic acronym, you name it. and now it’s just PLF. the Iron Patriot of villain organization names.

#bnha #bnha 241 #bnha 240 #shigaraki tomura #all for one #yaoyorozu momo #shimura hana #todoroki shouto #bakugou katsuki #bnha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks

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shookethbrooketh · 5 years

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FOLLOWER SURVEY RESULTS!

this morning, i compiled all the results from the survey into a google sheet! the raw data is there as well, (and that’s what you’ll find when you open it) but you can flip through the tabs and check out all the nice, easy to read tables with percentages n stuff! i may go back to this later when i get further into my statistics course and become interested in CoNnEcTiOnS between answers/traits and such, but for now here’s what the data was!

GOOGLE SHEET

some highlights under the cut!

the fact that i have more 12 year olds following me than 30 year olds

my COMPLETE failure to adequately set up the options for gender and sexuality

the person who replied “no” when i asked their gender

the fact that almost a fourth of my followers are trans! sending love to my trans friends!

the fact that the VAST majority of my followers are american

the one person who wrote in “united states” instead of answering what i gave, “us of gay”

the fact that there’s more virgos than any other sign, and that’s my sign!! hello fellow virgos happy upcoming birthday

the one (1) person who answered a solid “no” to whether or not they thought dnp were (or ever were, contextually) together

the fact that 2/3 of you guys are dannies?? who???

i’d like to send all my personal love to the person who followed me bc they loved stars

conversely, i’d like to send all my personal condolences to the TWO ppl who followed me bc they met me on pph

shoutout to everyone who said smth nice abt me or my content u have all my uwus

the person who just answered “creeper” to their opinion about me

the MULTIPLE optimistphan stans

charlie taking this opportunity to remind me that everyone momentarily hated me after the breakup with aries sjdfksdjkds

and this EXTENSIVE list from the question i simply titled “go nuts”

thank you to the 124592 people who replied with peanut emojis, nut jokes, or something to that effect. you all are the reason for my insanity.

“beese is cheese for bees” (go home josh)

“dnp could be fucking in a restaurant bathroom right now and we wouldn’t even know”

the multiple people who said “dan and phil gay”

the multiple people complaining about the dannie vs phillie question without realizing that they literally didn’t have to answer it

“remember when you thought you were straight lol wack”

“my juicy pink body is filled with dread / I sweat terror until it's time for bed“ i’m. legitimately scared of this one.

the person who copied and pasted the bee movie script.

“thundernuts”

someone who did a WHOLE rant about their opinion that doctor strange is underrated

“we should bring scene back :/”

the multiple keysmashes

“ nuts are gross. the only reason i know sexuality isn’t a choice is because i will every so often fall for a guy. it is my biggest regret. girls for life “

more than one person telling me i’m the only big blog that doesn’t piss them off

someone pointing out the fact that i RADIATE gay

“69″

thank u guys for doing the survey; i love u all sm <3

#not ph*n

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omgshecodes · 5 years

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On turtles...or why you should trust your own speed

Hey everyone! Finally I’m doing my first post on here, and I thought what greater way to open up my new blog by breaking to you the big decision I have made and perhaps made you curious about!? :D

Well, I bet most of you will be like “whaaaat, these are her big news!? really!?”, but note that for me it is definitely a big deal, and I will tell you why in the following lines.

Actually I talked to Susi about it and she thought it’s quite funny that I do make such big deal about it when my decision is likely to be one of your average student. However, it may turn into a so-called “student disease” real quick, so perhaps this is why it is such a big deal for me as I obviously don’t plan to fall victim to this disease lol.

So let’s not longer beat around the bush and tell you what’s up, finally: I have officially dropped a class and will postpone it to a later semester.

This was a decision completely out of mind as I promised myself I won’t do this in a million years, considering that a) I aspire to get my B.A. degree within the standard period of study and b) this tendency to postpone or shift classes is likely to turn into a doom for many students real quick, which is exactly the “student disease” I was trying to address above. It’s called procrastination! But the thing is - I am in a special place now, and I still have to remind myself of that every once in a while.

I must admit that having completed my Abitur in 2013 - which is almost 6 years ago, oh my lawd - it was definitely challenging to embrace the typical school rhythm again. Despite the 7 months of self studies I did prior to college, I was really thrown into it again you could say. And yet the irony is that nonetheless I started off university with the same expectations I had when I aced my Abitur as a single without children, still living at my parents. Guys- the standards I set for myself were up in the clouds!! *facepalm*

Reality just looks different. University’s speed is insane. It feels like an intercity ride. You can barely enjoy the nature you pass by and delight in its greatness, wisdom and beauty as you’re just about to hit the next station. You can barely let contents sit and process them.

Tbh I still cringe at that one post I did a few months back where I talked about students asking in the very first classes yet what the exam will be about rather than soaking up all knowledge for the sake of knowledge itself. I almost made fun of these students who binge-study because I just didn’t see the point, I mean, I still don’t see it. Back then you guys roasted me for this post, with good reason. The problem is not with students binge-studying, but it lies in the educational system that literally forces them to do so.

I was on winter break for 3 weeks and out of 6 classes I managed to revise merely 2, can you believe that (and I’m still not finished with the 2nd one)!? That is to mention that I sincerely tried my best and managed my time wisely wherever I could, but there was absolutely no way for me to spend all day and night studying with a toddler who was also on a winter break for 2 weeks plus a working husband who, yet, tried his best to support me on the little days off he had. So at least there is no need fo me to have a bad conscience, simply because I tried. I really did.

The thing I do regret though is how us CS students in college are busy with keeping up with any other class but the most important one which is programming. It’s the main class obviously, but the other classes are so demanding that you barely have time to practice programming in your leisure time. I didn’t touch code in 5 weeks or so.

My mentor Carla told me right from the get-go: “Yasmin, you merely visit university because it makes you qualified and employable, so don’t expect being deeply educated.”, hinting at the fact that you will necessarily come in touch and have to deal with classes you don’t need later on when working as a Software Engineer or whatever. University is really about surviving, nothing more, nothing less.

I should stop my rant on the educational system at this point because otherwise I’d go on forever, but honestly -despite all the deficits, the stress and things not going as planned I am very happy with my life as a student mom. I happily take it because it will all be worth it one day. All I need to learn is how to stop comparing myself to my single, childless, fellow students and thereupon putting myself under hella pressure.

I AM A MOTHER. I have other responsibilities which come with different priorities, apparently! So I should in fact be grateful for the ability to even drop a class rather than mourn about it simply because the B.A. degree is structured in a way that you are obliged to take specific classes as a precondition for other classes in the following semesters, which again is resulting in the disability to postpone a lot of classes.

I still do plan to finish this degree within the standard period of study, but what I’m trying to say is that one semester enrolled in university was enough to make me take off my rose-colored glasses and instead put on glasses of reality. Glasses that allow me to see behind the curtain. Whatever happens happens, may it be a sick toddler or dropping one freaking class. I am in a different situation. It’s not an ideal situation, but who said it should be ideal other than my very self? It is challenge and trial which make you grow, not perfect conditions.

Perhaps, to put it in a nutshell: my spirit animal became a turtle, as seen on the picture lol (shoutout to fairycakes where I purchased this absolutely adorable sticker from *-*). The turtle knows where it wants to go and comes to trust these steps rather than speed - at ease in its own shell.

Be a turtle! :-)

#motherhood #turtle #wisdom #spirit animal #college #university #pressure #educational system

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notgoingtohappen · 7 years

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Revenge, Interrupted (Part 12)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

A/N: shoutout to @mysterolineheart444world for helping me with a plot point for this chapter!

Stefan watched affectionately as Caroline did a small jig around the pool table as she exclaimed “I won, I won, told you I’d win!”

And then he wiped the smile off his face as he could practically hear Lexi’s voice in his head: pathetic, Stefan, stop looking so whipped.

And the Lexi in Stefan’s head was right. He still had to figure it what was real and what was part of the pretence, but he wasn’t going to go and develop a crush on her and make the whole situation awkward. The fact that he really couldn’t distinguish between what was real and what wasn’t meant his “feelings” were nothing but the after-effects of a drunk hook-up. She was adorable, as a friend, he told himself.

Caroline was next to him again and looked up smiling, her hair coming undone, eyes bright, cheeks flushed and panting a little.

“Tired from your victory dance?”

“Being a winner. It’s exhausting.”

“So is being serious. I wouldn’t know, of course.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure.”

“I plan to pay you back for that game, by the way.”

They stood there smiling at each other and on an impulse, Stefan reached out to tuck a lock of hair falling in her eyes behind her ear.

Their friends were around, after all. It had nothing to do with the fact that he’d been wanting to do that for days.

Her cheeks seemed to get redder and she looked down. He stepped back quickly and was just about to open his mouth to say they should get back to the others when someone else beat him to it.

“Caroline Forbes?” came a voice from behind him.

The accent wasn’t exactly British but something about the voice was strangely familiar. Caroline froze and Stefan turned around to see a light-haired, lean man walking over to them, grinning from ear to ear.

“Klaus, hi.” Caroline mumbled.

“Hello, love. Fancy seeing you here!”

“You too…”

“I was certain the next time we would run into each other would be at the Palace of Versailles—one of my favourite locations in the world, of course—under a painting we both admired greatly and stopped to marvel at…” he trailed off with a slightly manic smile.

“France, huh? Maybe someday.” Caroline said, clearly at a loss for words.

Who was this dude? Stefan realised that his name was kind of familiar.

“Splendid! How are you doing, then?”

“Good, good… graduated, got a job.” Caroline wasn’t chatty for once and it struck Stefan as surprising, and he moved slightly closer to her.

“Excellent! And who is this fellow?” he motioned to Stefan.

“Stefan Salvatore.” He held out his hand.

The man shook it, somehow looking both pleased to meet him and annoyed that he was standing protectively next to Caroline. Then his eyes widened and he clapped Stefan on the shoulder. “Young Salvatore!”

Stefan looked at Caroline, perplexed, and she shrugged with a don’t-look-at-me-man-I-don’t-know look. “Excuse me?”

“Klaus Mikaelson! Do you not remember? It was high school, I believe, when I first made your acquaintance.”

Everything came back to Stefan and he wanted the ground open up and swallow him, and Caroline didn’t look that different.

“Oh god, yeah, sophomore year, you were a senior and my-“

“Supplier of herbal sensory enhancers, yes.” Klaus cut in. “A self-made businessman at so tender an age, no wonder I control my family’s fortune.”

Caroline looked from Stefan and Klaus and then back to Stefan, dumbfounded.

“Er, you can call it that.” He said.

Her mouth fell open slightly. “Wait, herbal enhancers… were you… his drug dealer?”

Stefan cringed and he knew she instantly knew the answer.

“Ah, that is so base and crude a term, love. The profession is far more than that.”

“Uh… okay then.” Caroline didn’t look like she wanted to contradict him.

Stefan turned to Caroline. “After my last summer there, I lost touch with V but whenever I wanted some, Klaus sold it to me that year.”

Klaus smiled fondly at Stefan. “How shattered you must have been when I graduated. My sincerest apologies.”

“No, it was good, I got sober pretty quick after.”

Klaus nodded, looking moved. “Good for you, friend.”

And then he turned to Caroline. “You, my dear, are light. I have not forgotten that night at the fraternity house’s annual party. If you ever want something more, do come to me, for I will show you the allure of art and culture and passion and darkness and you shall be a queen among women.”

Stefan felt incredibly uncomfortable listening to this and was growing increasingly more annoyed at Klaus. He was aware of the urge to punch him but instead turned to check on Caroline, who looked mortified.

He hadn’t said anything before because this guy seemed to be an ex of some kind, but her expression made him step ever closer to her. “Back off, man.” Stefan looked Klaus squarely in the eye.

She moved so close to Stefan she bumped into his side and slipped her hand into his. “Actually, Klaus, I’m with Stefan, and I told you the last time, I was drunk and mad at my ex-boyfriend and it was nothing.”

Klaus nodded gravely. “I understand. Nothing gives me greater joy than to see two dear friends deeply in love. I wish you all the joy. I have only one request, invite me to the wedding. Farewell.”

He turned around and left, leaving a stunned Stefan and Caroline in his wake.

Caroline sighed, sounding relieved, and her head slumped against his shoulder as loosened her tight grip on his hand.

“What the fuck was that?” Stefan said, astounded.

“Wedding?” Caroline spluttered.

“Paris?” Stefan added.

“I cannot believe you bought drugs from him!”

“I can’t believe you… you know, had sex with him!” He hoped his cheeks weren’t red as he remembered that they’d almost had sex last night, and probably would have if no one had knocked.

“He was just this guy at the party who kept checking me out and telling me nice things and seemed like a bad boy…”

“Still, him?” Stefan was aware that on some level he was jealous but a part of him was relieved they were back to their easy banter again.

“I was new to college and mad at Tyler, okay? Might I remind you Stefan, you let him sell you drugs.”

“I missed getting high after that summer with Vicki, okay!”

She stared at him and then they burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. They looked drunk but it was amazing how they didn’t even need alcohol to laugh hysterically.

“Oh my god, what even was that?” she gasped, visibly trying to stop laughing.

“I have no idea.”

Stefan rubbed his eyes and then led her back to the table, holding hands.

“Hey guys!” The others greeted them.

“Don’t you look chipper.” Enzo commented.

“Your phone was buzzing like crazy, Steffy.” Damon said.

Stefan grabbed it, read the email and his face split into a huge smile. “I got the job!”

Before he knew it, Caroline’s arms had flown around his neck and he was holding her, her perfume that reminded him of flowers at the estate and now her, sent a pang of longing through him. What for, he wasn’t sure.

She landed on his feet and pulled back. “Congratulations!” she said softly and then he did what he’d wanted to all night. He cupped her face and pulled her close with his other hand, and kissed her. Again. In front of the others. Again.

For show, of course.

He could hear some hooting and laughter from their friends but all he could think about was Caroline. The way her fingers snaked into his hair, the way she gently pulled him closer, her kisses that he could never get enough of.

They finally pulled away and sat down with their friends.

Stefan was kind of relieved that kiss had been a far more casual one than the previous few. He had been starting to fear he wasn’t capable of kissing her without it turning into a full-blown makeout session.

“Uh, congratulations, Stefan.” Elena patted him awkwardly on the shoulder.

“Knew you had it in you, mate.”

“Awesome news!” said Bonnie.

“I’d hug you, but you still look dazed,” Damon smirked. “You and Blondie are interesting, to say the least.”

Stefan shot him a puzzled look, aware of Caroline’s gaze on him.

They were supposed to be believable, not ‘interesting.’

“What do you mean?” he asked his brother.

“Well, for starters she’s not insane like Katherine, or annoying like Valerie, or dull like Ivy, or my type like Rebekah.”

Stefan scoffed, relieved. “Wow.”

“Or mean like Lexi.” Enzo muttered.

Elena laughed. “You just think she’s mean because she rejected you that time when she dropped by to visit Damon.”

“It was unkind.”

“You were being an idiot. And everyone could tell you liked Bonnie.”

Bonnie and Enzo smiled at each other.

“She was taken then.”

“I’m taken now too. By you.”

They kissed and Damon rolled his eyes. “Never stops being weird. It’s like seeing my parents kiss. Anyway. I’m just saying. It’s different.”

“Don’t worry, you’re cute!” Elena reassured them.

Caroline smiled at Stefan and the hint of nervousness didn’t escape him. It was an odd thing for Damon to say. He moved closer to her and put his arm around her to somehow ease her.

“DAMON! BONNIE! ENZO!” Elena yelled suddenly.

They all stared at her, a little alarmed.

She looked elated, grinning at her phone. “Liam and Nadia and Kai are gonna be in town tomorrow!”

Damon looked like he was going to pass out from excitement, Bonnie was giggling with Elena, and Enzo sat back with his arms crossed, a muscle ticking in his jaw.

“You okay?” Stefan asked him.

“This Kai, he was always hitting on Bonnie. I loved the gang, but never particularly him.”

Caroline, also excluded from the excitement, leaned over. “You have nothing to worry about Enzo, take it from her best friend. She’s crazy about you. Go and enjoy, I would give anything to have my college friends in town.”

“I would give anything to have Lexi in town.” Stefan muttered.

“Not helping.” Enzo sighed and then cheered up when Damon mentioned something about Liam and the four went outside to talk to him on Damon’s phone so they could have the “best signal possible”.

“Who is Lexi?” Caroline asked him curiously.

Stefan grinned. “She’s my best friend.”

“Enzo said she was your ex, right?”

Stefan looked at her, shocked, and then started laughing. “What?”

“Yeah, he said, “Or mean like Lexi” when Damon was listing your exes.”

Understanding dawned on Stefan. “Oh, he didn’t mean anything. He probably just said that because she’s the first girl most people associate with me, but she’s like my sister.”

Caroline nodded quietly, and sipped on her coke, looking around.

Wait, why was she asking? Like, she remembered Damon and Enzo’s exact words on his ex-girlfriends. Was it interest… or maybe jealousy?

He pushed the thought away, chalking it off to wishful thinking.

And it became even clearer it was nothing of the sort when she leaned over and softly asked him something that made him feel far more uneasy than he should have.

In fact, he shouldn’t be feeling anything, least of all uneasy or sad.

“Stefan, I was thinking, what if we meet someone we actually want to date?”

Stefan swallowed his feelings and forced himself to answer, wondering if seeing Klaus had inspired this. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just a hypothetic scenario. We should cover all our bases, right? I mean, you should see the way that girl is checking you out.” She nodded to a dark haired, leather jacket clad girl who was sitting at the bar and sipping a martini.

She looked a vaguely familiar, and he tried not to stare as he racked his brains. He realised it was because she looked like Katherine and looked away.

Caroline had been watching him and her expression was different, more vacant. She wasn’t cheery anymore.

He hated not being able to gauge what she was thinking.

“I guess we… date them in secret? Until this is over.” he said, wondering if Caroline wanted to date some guy she’s seen at her interview or maybe the building or mall or- wow, he needed to chill.

She nodded and he could feel her pulling away somehow, the dynamic between them shifting from playful to something far less intimate.

He was about to say something so things would feel normal again when someone behind him cleared their throat. He turned around and it was the girl from the bar.

“Hey.” She said confidently, looking at Stefan from behind her lashes. She was pretty, but weirdly resembled Katherine, which unnerved him a bit.

“Hi” he replied.

He found himself thinking Caroline, with her wavy hair like sunshine and bright, expressive blue eyes and easy smile, was so much more beautiful.

“I’m Rayna.” She held out her hand.

He was pretty sure he knew where this was going. “Stefan.”

“Nice to meet you. Are you free tomorrow night?” she asked.

So she was direct.

He hesitated, wondering if he wanted to go out with her. She wasn’t really his type… if he had one. His ex-girlfriends had nothing in common. She was hot, but…

He looked at Caroline without meaning to.

Caroline saw him looking at her and seemed to think hard about something for a few moments and then turned to the girl, her expression resolute. “He’d love to, he was just telling me how hot he thought you were.”

The girl smiled seductively at Stefan her smile reminded him even more of Katherine. “Great.” She said, handing him a napkin. “Here’s my number. Call me.” She said and then walked right out of the bar.

Stefan turned to Caroline. She’d really wanted him to go on that date for some reason. She obviously didn’t feel anything for him, and he owed it to himself to give it a chance. And he probably didn’t feel anything for Caroline either. If you spend that much time with someone cute and pretend to be a couple, some confusing feelings are bound to emerge. He was just going to have to get a grip until this was all over and they could go back to being just friends.

Maybe he’d like Rayna anyway. Maybe he’d like her because she reminded him of Katherine. It had been years anyway. Who knew?

“I’ll totally help you sneak around,” Caroline said, her expression still serious.

He was supposed to be the serious one.

“Okay, thanks.”

“Pinky promise.” She added and held out her little finger.

He gazed at her.

Who was this adorable?

His last pinky promise had probably been when he was three, with Damon over not confessing to spilling kool-aid on the sofa.

He held out his pinky too. “Same. If you want to date Klaus, my help is at your disposal.” He said dutifully, trying to make her smile.

She looked at him incredulously and then laughed. “What? No! Have you seen him, Stefan, or heard him? Honestly, my taste is way better, give me some credit.”

He’d succeeded in making her smile and in making things normal again, but that’s not why his mood shot up.

#i wrote this sooooo fast bc i knew how it was gonna go 100%#steroline #steroline fanfiction #steroline fanfics #sterofic #this was really one of my fave chapters to write #hope you guys liked it #also i hope someone noticed the parallel between klaus drinking blood with stefan/forcing the ripper out and dealing him weed here #😂#ri

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totally-heaven-touch · 7 years

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RENT (part 2)

Last night I saw the UK tour of Rent at the Lighthouse in Poole, and I need to yell about how amazing it was!!!!! I saw this production when it was in London in January and it was just as incredible if not better the second time round.

Last time I made a post about all the little moments I noticed in the show that absolutely made the production - which you can read here , and this is going to be adding to that list.

So with that I present: “little things I noticed that you would only get from seeing this version it live” - Part 2 (WARNING - SPOILERS AHEAD!)

So I need to start by raving about Layton Williams as Angel - when I saw the show in London Layton was injured so Harrison Clark (who also happens to be Layton’s boyfriend) filled in for the role and was of course amazing, but Layton has mind-blowing dance skills. We’re talking handsprings, flipping into the splits and backwards aerial cartwheels off the stage. The audience did a lot of cheering/screaming in Today 4 U.

At the start of you’ll see, Angel and Collins were sat on a couch in the background passing the bottle of Stoli between them and giggling.

In my post from last time I talked about Philippa Stefani as Mimi being really broken (and making me cry in “Out tonight”), and this time I noticed specifically what gave that impression was the fact that she is never standing completely still. She has this permanent leg jiggling thing that she does in Act 1, which serves as a constant reminder that she is very very much not okay.

During Will I, Roger was sat alone on the raised section of stage that serves as the apartment as the life support members sang from the stage around him. And he was on the couch crying. And that freaking got to me because normally Roger is the unemotional one, so yes I definitely shed a few tears at that point. This production is brilliant at hitting me in ways I never expected, when I thought I knew the show and knew when I was gonna cry it goes BAM NOPE YOU’RE CRYING IN “OUT TONIGHT” AND “WILL I”

ANGEL’S FAN. Angel had this fan that she would constantly be sassily flipping out and fanning herself with, and during “Over the moon” she proceeded to start fanning herself, then Collins, then lying on her stomach, reaching down off the balcony where the two of them were sat, and fanning Joanne who was stood below them with Maureen’s boombox.

At the end of “La Vie Boheme” Angel jumped on Collins’ back and he gave her a piggy back downstage.

In “Happy New Year”, while Maureen was talking to Joanne on the phone at the edge of the stage, Mark was stood alone centrestage wearing a massive silver party hat and eating a bag of Doritos.

“Take me or leave me” was incredible. Maureen was played by Christina Modestou instead of Lucie Jones and she absolutely SLAYED. And Shanay Holmes has got to be my favourite Maureen of all time. I think I’m a little bit in love with her.

Shoutout to Ryan O’gorman for continuing to be imo the best Collins of all time and somehow managing to get an insane amount of pain and heartbreak into his voice and making everyone cry in “I’ll cover you reprise”. Seriously, give this guy all of the awards. All of them.

I like that Philippa Stefani does not do “pretty dying” as Mimi. She does proper ugly crying and shaking and seems barely able to get her words out and it’s painful to watch.

In my post from last time I talked about Collins going over to the lamp-post where he met Angel at the end of Finale B and resting his hand on it, but this time he literally full on hugged it and my heart broke a little more.

At the end of Finale B they had fake snow that came down on the stage!!

BONUS: My friends and I stage doored at the end and talked to Layton, Chistina, Joshua Dever (who went on as Mark for the evening and absolutely lived up to Billy Cullum’s incredible performance) and Javar Parker (who played Benny) and they were all absolutely lovely!!!!!!

but a highlight was when Ryan O’Gorman came out and couldn’t stop to talk (I’d assume because he had a train to catch bc we talked to him at stage door last time), then got on a freaking scooter and scooted away. And I’m not talking moped, I mean actual manual kids scooter. It was glorious. This cast is the best.

I. really . want. the . run. to . be.extended. so . i .can .see. this.production again. im . in .love. with. it,,,,,

#rent #hannah rambles #layton williams #jonathan larson #musical theatre #broadway #rent the musical

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xfirespritex · 7 years

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Falling For the Perfect 10, Chapter 4

Chapter 1 can be found here: http://xfirespritex.tumblr.com/post/158091354468/falling-for-the-perfect-10-chapter-1

Chapter 2 can be found here: http://xfirespritex.tumblr.com/post/158131017523/falling-for-the-perfect-10-chapter-2

Chapter 3 can be found here: http://xfirespritex.tumblr.com/post/158173737863/falling-for-the-perfect-10-chapter-3

Shoutout to @wwesmutdonedirtcheap and @hiitsmecharlie for writing so well it gave me the energy to write my own stories.

If you want to find some incredible stories, check their pages.

Also a shout out to those who have liked the first few parts of my story and reblogged them/commented: @thedeboniardevistation @xxnobodyshero13xx@gelinas22 @speedilyghostlycloud @fan-fiction-galore @amaranthine-reign@lordoftheringsmyass @justtheaverageblog1 @alpha-american @aineslight@reigns420 @deajm2116 @redroseblackwolfpack96 @blondekel77@shieldgirl95 @vebner37 @banrioncethlenn @moxtiel @caramara3@fmlallthewayup @breezy14fan

If, by some miracle you like my writing & you want to be added to the above list so you know when I post, let me know!

Story Summary: Told from the point of view of an original female character we follow the ups and downs of dating, and falling in love with, Tye Dillinger. Pairing: Tye Dillinger X OFC Chapter Summary:Shanna makes her in ring debut and Tye is protective. Note: No warnings for this chapter. Sexual tension, innuendo and other such things can be found but at this time, this chapter could be considered safe for work.

Please let me know if you like the start of this story and I will happily post more!

Thank you to everyone who commented and liked the last chapter. Hopefully you enjoy chapter 4!

-Brittney

Chapter 4: A Debut and Desperation

It was a week later and we were filming for my NXT on screen debut. We filmed a couple NXT tapings at a time so while I wouldn’t be in the ring this week, I’d be in a backstage segment with Tye that would go on as an exclusive on the WWE network following NXT. Then we’d all change for the next round of tapings.

Earlier I had watched the interview begin with Tye talking about how he wasn’t joining SAnitY and saw the attack that took place during the interview, Jose and Roderick making the save. The main event was set for later, Tye, Jose and Roderick v. SAnitY. I kissed Tye’s cheek before he went out for the match and he winked down at me. “Soon the world will know about us,” he said. “You ready for that?”

I shrugged. “As long as you’re all mine, I don’t care if everyone knows.”

He smirked and stole a quick kiss. “Just yours,” he promised.

I smiled and watched Tye’s entrance, loving how the fans reacted to him. I know it gave Tye an adrenaline rush. Jose’s entrance was next and it was, as always fun. Roderick Strong went out next and the crowd cheered for him too and I smiled, seeing the three guys prep in their corner for their opponents.

SAnitY’s music hit and I watched the entrance from my place backstage, Liv standing beside me as we watched. The guys held their own, doing a good job of tagging in and out. However, when Killian Dain tagged in I winced, seeing him go directly for Tye, hitting him hard. The match continued and when it looked like Roderick might get the pin on Young things broke down. Wolfe broke up the pin and Jose took him to the outside. Roderick hit the ropes to go after Eric Young again but was tripped up by Killian Dain. Tye slid in while the ref focused on Dain and hit the Tyebreaker on Eric Young but then I saw it happen. Nikki climbed to the top rope and launched onto Tye, delivering a hurricarana over the top rope and knocking Tye over. She was back on the apron quickly, drawing the ref’s attention and Dain hit Roderick with a cross body, knocking the wind from Roderick. Eric Young picked up the win. SAnitY left the ring area and that was my cue to meet Tye and the guys once backstage.

My concern for Tye and the guys was genuine and as Hunter had always said, genuine emotions make it easy to put it on screen. As the trio came back stage the cameras got on them as they checked each other, Roderick holding his ribs from the hit and Tye and Jose nursing other bumps. Tye looked at me and gave me a look, telling me it was time. I walked into the shot and wrapped my arms carefully around him, taking some of his weight.

“You guys okay?” I asked, my eyes on Tye for a moment before looking at Jose and Roderick. I reached a hand out to Roderick, carefully placing my hand on his shoulder. “Roddy?” I asked.

He nodded slowly, carefully and took a deep breath. Jose waved me off and I turned to Tye, as we’d planned. “Tye?” I asked, my right hand sliding up to go around the back of his neck, getting him to focus on me.

“I told you I should’ve been out there,” I said, letting a little annoyance lace my voice.

Tye sighed. “And I told you, I don’t want you out there. Young is insane, who knows what could happen to you?”

“And looked what happened to you guys cause I wasn’t out there to stop Nikki,” I replied.

Tye sighed. “I’m not going to make you a target for them,” he replied. I clenched my jaw.

“Fine, I’ll make Nikki a target,” I said. Tye sighed, implying we’d had this conversation hundreds of times before taking my cheek in his hands and pulling me close to him, our foreheads touching.

“You’re not gonna stop, are you?” He asked, the camera close-up on us now, catching his words.

“Not until they do,” I responded, Tye let out a breath and gently kissed my lips, so light it barely counted as an actual kiss. It reminded me of the almost kiss from outside the dance club, the night we first started seeing each other.

The cameras clicked off and Hunter clapped from off screen, the taping complete. “Great job,” he said, coming over to us. He shook the guys’ hands.

“Really, the three of you put on a hell of a match,” he said, smiling proudly.

The guys nodded their thanks to him, Tye’s arm still around my shoulders.

“And you,” Hunter said, smiling at me. I felt myself beam back up, I couldn’t help it. “You look, to all the world, the pissed-off-no-longer-secret girlfriend of Tye Dillinger. That was perfect.”

I laughed lightly. “Like you said, real emotions are easy on screen.” Hunter laughed and pulled me into a hug, stealing me out of Tye’s arms momentarily before placing me right back in front of Tye, whose hand went around my waist.

“You guys know the drill, next round. Shower, change. Shanna, I need you to run to hair and makeup and your hair done for a match. You are going to challenge Nikki for a match over what she did to the guys.”

I nodded and turned to Tye, giving him a quick kiss before running off to change and get my hair redone.

After I was ready for my match Hunter played the replay package they were cutting together from what would be aired as last week. It showed the interview, the attack, the save and the match. It also included me and Tye talking, me promising that I wouldn’t stop until SAnitY did.

“This will air next week. The guys are filming a cut scene now where Andrea is interviewing Roderick and Jose about their involvement. That will follow the replay package. Then we’ll cut to a clip of you, calling out Nikki in the ring for your match.”

I nodded. “She’s on board?” I asked.

Hunter nodded and then motioned over my shoulder. I turned and saw Nikki standing there. Gimmicks and teams on screen aside she was a pretty cool girl, one of the few who had been wrestling a long time and one I knew I could go have a great match with, no planning required. We clicked. Hunter waved her over and she came to stand beside me, dressed in her gear but her demeanor was drastically calm compared to her crazy character.

“You girls, go out there and do this match right. Two things need to happen out there for this storyline to continue. First, Nikki you go out solo, but the rest of your crew does make an appearance. They don’t interfere in the match and you girls, I want you to decide who goes over tonight. The only thing that has to happen is after the match SAnitY corners Shanna. That’ll draw out Tye, Roderick and Jose. SAnitY is gonna get beaten back out of there. You girls, do the match your way. Just do the before and after the match my way. Got it?”

I looked and Nikki and she was doing her best not to smile hugely. Hunter trusted us to make the call. That was rare in the industry but not so rare here on NXT. We both knew to savor the trust and not fuck it up.

“Good, go,” Hunter said, patting our shoulders. We turned to go to the Gorilla, waiting for our cue.

“I think you need to go over,” Nikki said, her eyes not on me.

I turned to stare at her. “What?”

“SAnitY gets the win and runs. Why would we attack if I win?”

I shifted uncomfortably. “Maybe. Why don’t we do it like this…we lead towards me going over but if the crowd seems overly invested in the badness of SAnitY, if it seems they’re all behind me, pissed at the mere sight of all of you, you go over. The beat down after will enhance the heel side.”

She looked at me and nodded. She knew we were both putting our pride aside. A loss in the record books didn’t matter as much when the storyline could change everyone’s careers. I could hear the recap of last week playing and heard Roderick and Jose’s interview. The tech backstage motioned to me and I took my spot. Tye ran over and smiled down at me, giving me a quick kiss on the temple before getting out of my way to do my entrance.

My music hit and felt a thrill run through me. I went out, playing to the crowd before sliding into the ring. I went over and grabbed a mic, pacing the ring before speaking as my music died. The crowd chanted “Ten” at me and I tried not to laugh. There were signs in the crowd calling me “The Real Perfect 10” and other puns.

I put the mic to my mouth and stopped pacing, looking to the cameras.

“Last week, we all saw what happened. We saw SAnitY use their numbers to their advantage. And while we all know Nikki Cross is as certifiably insane we also know any decent man wouldn’t hit a woman.” The crowd cheered, agreeing. “So, unfortunately for me and my friends, they’re decent men. So, even to win a match, they won’t attack Nikki. But I can.” The crowd cheered again.

“Nikki,” I said, turning to face the ramp. “You want to be in a match so bad? Get out here and face me!”

I didn’t wait long, Nikki’s music hit quickly and I tossed the mic aside. She charged the ring and I backed to the ropes, hitting them as she slid in the ring and launching myself at her with a forearm. She flailed in frustration and a ref came into the ring to separate us. I pushed against his arm, begging her to take a shot. Nikki shouted back, pulling at her hair then shouting at the ref to start the match.

He looked at me and I nodded. “Start the match!” I said.

The ref shrugged slightly and the bell rung. Nikki and I flew at each other. We had seven minutes for the match, the post-match segment being more important. We gave it our all and Nikki hit me with a hurricarana, just as she did Tye. I laid on the mat, dizzy as she came to get the cover.

One, two, I kicked out and Nikki, in fake rage, hit the mat beside me, pounding it with her fists.

“Go over,” Nikki grunted at me, her face to the mat.

I put a hand to my head, covering my mouth from view. “You sure?” I asked.

“They want you to win. I need a reason to go postal.”

“Go postal,” I said. She got what I meant. She jumped up and grabbed my leg, pulling me to her and starting to land punches. I covered up but when she got up, to rant around the ring and shout insanely I got my feet back under me. I popped up as she turned and charged her, taking her down to the mat and beating on her for a moment before getting up, dragging her by her hair.

“You think you get to touch my man?” I shouted at her. The crowd ooohhhed at that and then the shouting changed. SAnitY was coming down the ring surrounding it. I backed to the center of the ring and Nikki grabbed me, trying to set me up for the swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker. I reversed out of it, turning her around and grabbing her in a hangman’s neckbreaker. I hit the move hard and she crumpled over, as I rushed around for the cover. The third fall counted out and the ring bell rung. I stood quickly as SAnitY jumped up on the ring apron around me. I watched, wary eyes as the circled the ring.

I knew it was planned but it didn’t keep the fear from seeping through me. Nikki was one thing but I knew, deep down, Wolfe, Dain and Young were different. They wouldn’t intentionally, truly hurt me. But they were rough.

Wolfe got into the ring first and I tried backing away from him, going to get out of the ring and ending up right in Dain’s path.

Dain shoved me back into the ring and Nikki caught me, hitting the swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker she’d intended to hit before. I hit the mat hard and laid there and Nikki, doing her job, climbed on top of me and landed a few blows. Eric Young shouted then. “Give her to me!”

I felt Nikki stiffen but, she did her part, getting up and grabbing me by my hair, throwing me into Eric who caught me by my throat, his grip a bit tighter than I felt was necessary.

“Where is your lover boy now?” Young shouted in my face. His voice grated on my ears and his breath was stale. I grimaced away from him, still stuck in his grasp.

I heard the crowd pop and heard the sounds of Tye, Jose and Roderick getting into the ring. Eric tossed me to the mat as Tye came at him. I looked up from the mat, my hand on my throat as I watched Tye rip into Eric. Wolfe and Dain were knocked out of the ring quickly by Jose and Roderick and I scrambled to my feet to dropkick Nikki through the second rope. I turned and watched as Tye hit the Tyebreaker on Young, glaring down at him before standing and coming over to me, putting his body between me and Young. He glared at Young as SAnitY pulled their leader from the ring, his eyes and hands going to my neck, his fingers shaking as he brushed over the redness there. Tye growled, actually growled and turned to look at Young again.

“You touch her again and I’ll kill you!” Tye shouted. Young shouted incoherently back as Tye’s music hit. Jose and Roderick stood beside me, the three of us standing behind Tye as he shouted at Young. I walked over and slid a hand up Tye back to his shoulder and his words cut off, turning to look at me. His eyes were dark and grabbed me to him, slightly rougher than usual and kissed me. The crowd cheered and when we broke apart SAnitY was gone from ringside. We all left the ring area.

When we got backstage I heard Matt Bloom and Hunter’s voices shouting. We turned the corner and there was SAnitY, each of them standing slightly apart from Eric Young who was being chewed out by the pair.

“Are you actually fucking crazy?” Hunter shouted, his face inches from Eric’s. “I told you all to gang up around her, to let Nikki hit a bunch of moves, not to put your hands on her!”

“I’m doing my job!” Young shouted back. Bloom stepped between them and pointed to me, forcing Hunter’s attention to the four of us. Hunter stalked away, leaving Bloom to deal with the group. Nikki caught my eye and I saw the apology there before Hunter’s body blocked my view.

“Shanna, you okay?” Hunter asked. He was fuming, breathing hard. “To the trainers, now,” he said. I didn’t argue. We walked off to the trainer, Tye’s fists clenched at his sides as we walked. Jose and Roderick followed too, as if being security for me as we went.

Once in the trainer’s room, with more light on it Hunter cursed under his breath.

“Shanna, you know I wouldn’t let him do that,” Hunter said, his voice angry and pleading at the same time.

“I know Hunter,” I said, my voice sounding rawer than I’d have liked it to sound.

Tye growled again, an arm going around me protectively as one of the trainers looked at the bruising.

“Her windpipe is fine, not crushed, just slightly swollen. The bruises will be gone in a day,” she said, handing me an ice pack to place there, just to help the process along.

I pressed the ice pack to my throat and took a deep breath, smiling at her. “Thanks,” I said, my voice still weak.

“Hunter, we gotta do something about this,” Tye said.

“We will. I didn’t want that to happen, I wouldn’t let that happen. Young will pay, in a few ways for this.”

“You’re going to fine him?” Roderick asked.

“Yes, all of you know the rules around here. He was told the limit and he crossed that.

“What else are you gonna do about this?” Tye demanded.

“Tye, I’m fine,” I said, trying to cool him down. He held a hand up to me, clearly too angry at the moment. The sounds I made that passed for talking probably didn’t help.

“You want him?” Hunter asked. “Next week?”

Tye nodded. “Yes.”

“Okay, you got it. But let’s be clear, she’s in this now, so are these guys. You get Eric Young, one on one, but all of them, will be at ringside.”

Tye started to protest but Jose cut him off. “It’ll be okay, we’ll cover her,” he insisted. Tye took a breath. Hunter walked over and kissed my forehead.

“Sorry about that, kid,” he said, true apology in his voice.

I nodded. “Not your fault. And it’s not Nikki’s either, she didn’t want to pass me to him but she did her role, don’t hit her with a fine,” I said, hoping he’d understand.

Hunter nodded. “Okay, if you say so. Just Young then.”

I nodded.

Hunter nodded again, kissed the crown of my head once more and turned to walk out, his voice rising the second he hit the hallway. “Where’s Young?” he shouted. Shouts answered him.

I sat on the trainer’s table with the icepack to my neck.

Tye came back to me and I could see his body shaking slightly. He kissed my temple but I could feel the restrained rage under his skin. I took his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze as we listened to the doctors.

#WWE #wwe fanfiction #tye dillinger #tye dillinger X OFC #angst #romance #fanfiction #fanfic

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paradoxicalca · 5 years

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r/hockey NHL Power Rankings Week 5: Presidential Losers Edition

/r/Hockey NHL Power Rankings Week Oct 28, 2019 - Nov 3, 2019Thank YouThank you to all of the volunteers doing the power rankings. Each ranker has their own system and have their own reasonings and analyis. It truly is a lot of work.RankersSpoilerOrganizersSpoilerVisualizationThe visualization contains historical data, so you can see how your team has done over time. Hopefully, we can run this for many years in hopes that we can see the rise and fall of teams by /r/hockey opinion.It automatically updates so feel free to bookmark. You can find it hereProcessHow does this work? Throughout the course of the week rankers are able to access an app that will allow them to rank teams. At the end of the period we calculate the average ranking for every team and collate all of the analysis provided by rankers.The app then generates a post that is first proofread and then posted to /r/hockey!Rankings (28/31 Rankers Reporting)Ranking (avg)TeamDeltaOverall RecordRecord This WeekComments1 (1.38)Boston Bruins110-1-22-0-0The Bruins and Sharks gave new meaning to "Hockey Fights Cancer" on Tuesday night. The game was 5-1 at the end of the second and the third period was so scrappy that the refs were giving out game misconducts like halloween candy to players on both teams and even a coach. The Sens game started great for Bruins with the Sens having too much man, giving the Bruins a PP which Pasta quickly scored on for his League-tying 13th. Shortly after, Backes and Sabourin had an unfortunate collision which caused Sabourin to be evacuated and Backes to leave the game. It is hard for players to continue after such an injury early in the game, but Marchand couldn't resist himself and had to do Brad Marchand things. This is the last light week for the Bruins until New Years where the Bruins will have 3-4 games a week.2 (2.41)Washington Capitals211-2-33-0-0The Caps won a tight one against the Leafs then SMOKED the Sabres, in what was the first Caps game DC watched in weeks. We were busy watching the Nats bring another title to the nation's newest title town. I'm still a little hungover from the parade. Anyway the caps are technically the best team in the league and subjectively kinda look like it. Carlson sonned the entire league for a month, Ovi's on pace for 60 goals, and our depth is actually a strength for the first time in years. This season's been a joy so far, the kind that reminds you why you like sports in the first place.3 (3.66)New York Islanders410-3-02-0-0Everything is going perfectly. Goaltending is as good as it was last year. Defense is limiting chances and Pelech looks like a top tier d-man getting paid like a #6. Barzal is doing the same things he always was, but results are now coming. Nelson dominated Brocktober. Bailey and Lee are living up to their contracts (shoutout to everyone on /r/hockey who said paying Bailey after having production this late in his career as a result of JT was Clarkson 2.0). Brassard moving to wing has proven to have ridiculous success (5 straight games with a goal). And the 4th line (TBFLIH is a 3rd line right now) is doing all you could ask for. Things are amazing.4 (5.21)Carolina Hurricanes29-4-12-1-05 (5.93)Edmonton Oilers-10-4-12-1-0Gave the Red WIngs their only regulation win in weeks, but we got some strong wins against the Blue Jackets and the Penguins. This team is performing far above it's expected level. This can be largely thanks to the some excellent play from Mike Smith and Mikko Koskinen. The team undeniably needs more scoring from the bottom 6, but goals from Cobly Cave and Khaira this week has been a positive. THE player for the Oilers in the most recent stretch has been easily Drasaitl. The man is playing insanely well and is easily playing like the best player in the league. McDavid seems to be struggling a bit, but he's considered to be a generational talent for a reason. The man will be back to form soon enough. Insane that McDavid struggling is still leading the league in assists, and in 4th in the league for points. The powerplay has been chugging along at league 2nd best numbers, but the percentages are deceiving as we've gone 10% this week.6 (7.17)Buffalo Sabres-39-4-20-2-1Colin Miller shoots the puck 95% of the time he gets it in the offensive zone. Jack Eichel needs to be more like Colin Miller. The Buffalo Sabres need to stop trying to force passes through three or more defenders on the power play and in tight on the goalie. We put in a decent game against Washington and got frustrated against the Islanders. It should be noted that both of these teams have been playing extremely well as of late and we haven't been playing as well as we could be. We saw the first major line blender on Saturday and that should continue in Sweden. Hopefully two games at home should energize our young Swedes and turn this ship around.7 (7.31)Colorado Avalanche-68-4-20-2-1Injuries suck but great teams win even without key players. Avs just seem to be lacking energy since Rantanen and Landeskog have been out. They haven't looked awful but certainly not good enough to be a top team in the league. The Good News Mackinnon seems to be catching fire again. His point streak came to an end, but he is shooting a ton and creating chaos. Hopefully he manages to wake up the rest of team and get them going. Calder Watch: Cale Makar is still leading rookies in scoring, but looking a lot better, and starting to try and blow through opposing teams. Cannot wait for him to score an end to end goal he has been very close. This week has two divisional match ups and a game in Columbus. We need to win at least two to turn this ship around.8 (7.62)St. Louis Blues79-3-33-0-0Even though we have won 4 games in a row those wins were not against impressive teams and each one of them was closer than I would’ve liked. Tarasenko is clearly missed in those games and we need one of the young guys to step up to the plate.9 (9.41)Vancouver Canucks79-3-23-0-1Writing from security line in the airport so forgive me. Last week I said I wouldn't complain if the Canucks kept scoring 5 goals a game. So I won't. While I felt the Canucks' first game against Calgary more or less set that bar for how bad this team can look with a healthy lineup, this week has given us a pretty good glimpse into what they look like playing at their best. The Canucks were defensively sound and utter dominant in the offensive zone in every game this week, and they were rewarded for their efforts by every goaltender not named Gibson. Demko and Markstrom continue to be playing out of their minds, even if they are still prone to the occasional brainfart. How long can it last? Who knows - it's still early and hard to guess what the "new normal" may be for this club (they seem to be taking a step this season, but how big?) For now, it's just fun to see the goals pile up.10 (9.76)Nashville Predators-28-4-21-1-1Well that was an up-and-down week. The week started with Peks getting his second SO of the year against the Hawks, in a game that will appropriately get a redo in two weeks. Halloween saw the Flames come to town, in a game that can only be described by the word "epic". Yeah, we lost it in OT and I should probably be upset proving the most dangerous lead in hockey, but that was one of the most thrilling regular season games I've seen in a while. Seriously, do yourself a favour and watch the full game if you didn't see it live. Saturday against the Rangers saw Saros continue his swing back into form; unfortunately, it also saw the offense struggle to click and was the first game this season the Preds didn't score multiple goals. Continuing the dichotomous mood of the day, the Winter Classic jerseys were also revealed to both adoration and disdain. Errrr... yeah, usually I write these into some semblance of a point but I got nothing else so... [insert smooth, cohesive ending here]11 (11.1)Anaheim Ducks-9-6-12-0-1Congratulations to Getzlaf for playing in 1,000 NHL games. He has played in exactly half of the franchise’s 2,000 games. Definitely a number in the rafters whenever he wants to hang them up. In other news, Ritchie did a thing that wasn’t a penalty. He scored a goal! The ducks seem to play to the level of their opponent. Still should be an up and down season.12 (11.41)Vegas Golden Knights-38-5-20-0-2The Knights played only two games this week and both games are eerily similar. The Knights go in the third up by two controlling play for most of the game only to lose the lead after taking the foot off the gas in the third period and then losing in overtime. Vegas has all the talent to win in the league but they need to close out games like those. Questions are also surrounding the health of forward Alex Tuch as he left Saturday's game early with an upper body injury.13 (11.48)Arizona Coyotes-8-4-12-1-0We have come a long way in the past two years under Tocchet. It took 37 games two years ago to reach 8 wins on the season, now it took only 13. If Chayka’s gamble on paying players on future potential pays off this team will compete for years to come.14 (12.41)Pittsburgh Penguins-48-5-11-0-115 (14.45)Toronto Maple Leafs-37-5-31-0-1The Leafs got back Travis Dermott this week, but his effort with Matthews' two goal performance wasn't enough to beat Ovi's 4 point night, as they lost in OT, 4-3. After a few days of rest, the Leafs faced a tired Philly team, and it took 11 rounds of shootout before Andreas Johnsson secured the second point for Toronto. Marner/Matthews were flipped back to the sides they were on last season, which scored 1 in 8 (!!) powerplay opportunities vs. the capitals. The penalty kill also has been struggling, as it let up 2 goals on Saturday in Philly. Once the special teams are looking a little stronger, this team will be a lot more consistent, and rise up these rankings.16 (16.31)Calgary Flames28-7-22-2-0The Flames had a tough week with 4 road games and split them 2-2, including an exciting comeback win against Nashville. While the Flames still aren't at last years form, they have been putting in better effort and leaving fans a bit more optimistic.17 (16.48)Montreal Canadiens-7-5-22-1-0Can't complain with 4/6 points on a western road trip. Boys managed to win on the second half of a back to back even with their backup in net. Maybe a certain team would like to know the secret?18 (16.86)Florida Panthers17-3-42-1-0The Panthers have had the hardest schedule to open up the season and are in 3rd place in the Atlantic. It's not always pretty (like Huberdeau's mustache) but the job gets done (like Huberdeau's play). The week started terribly in Vancouver but they bounced back with wins over Colorado and Detroit. Next up will be a big challenge against the Caps and hopefully Trocheck and Matheson will be healthy by then.19 (17.52)Tampa Bay Lightning-56-5-21-2-0I'm hoping this week long break will help this team to wake up, because sometimes it really looks like they aren't trying. The PK is still abysmal, and with how many penalties the team is taking, that turns into a decent amount of goals for opposing teams.20 (17.76)Winnipeg Jets18-7-02-1-0Things are starting to look up in Winterpeg, 2-1 on the week, couple of hard fought back to back wins over San Jose and Vegas. With the high undoubtably being Lowry making Vegas look pretty dumb for paying a bonafide goon 3 mil a year to lose a staged fight vs an actual NHL caliber shut down centre. This team, while the record doesn’t look amazing, feels to be gaining some amount of momentum, and this maybe feels like the start of something really really good. The talent on the front end is undeniable, if the back end can keep things together, this is a good team. But knowing the Jets I’ll be writing next week about how they need to sell everything after going 0-321 (19.76)Philadelphia Flyers-16-5-21-1-1This week was an up and down week, but overall I'm alright with it. Got 3 out of 4 on a back to back between the devils whom we beat, and the leafs who took 11 ROUNDS IN THE SHOOTOUT TO FINALLY COME TO AN END LIKE JUST EXTEND 3V3 OVERTIME ALREADY and lost to. You'll notice I'm not referencing a certain game on tuesday because I've actually blocked out the memory of that game. Our young guns are doing well, Elliot should probably be the starter in a 1a 1b with Hart, and SANHEIM STAY ON YOUR SKATES YOU CANT KEEP FALLING OVER. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. Praise Gritty22 (20.1)Dallas Stars47-8-13-0-023 (22.76)New York Rangers15-5-12-0-0As I said last week, we should expect the unexpected. Beating two solid teams comes with that apparently, but I won't complain. Calling up Chytil and Lindgren has worked out great. Fil has two goals in two games and Lindgren has played very well. This team is gonna continue to be confusing but hopefully they will continue to be entertaining.24 (22.76)Columbus Blue Jackets-25-6-30-2-1The good: Sonny Milano may actually be in the middle of a breakout season. If he can just not do stupid things he'd be a great middle-six player. Gavrikov has been a solid addition to our D pairings. The bad: Goaltending and defense. Defensive play in front of our two young goaltenders has been questionable at best. The goalies themselves are not two-time Vezina winning goalies either. The ugly: Scoring - The Jackets have 34 goals for in 14 games -- good for 27th in the NHL (along with 50 goals against, which is also 27th). We have 1 player in the top 100 in the league, and 2 in the top 200 in scoring so far. (Dubois with 6-4-10 for 86th and Cam with 3-4-7 for 183rd) Special teams - Honestly just getting sick of talking about this. Our power play is so bad it's comical. We're in the bottom 6 in both PK AND PP %, which no other team is.25 (24.69)Los Angeles Kings-5-9-01-1-0Started the week with a loss to Chicago, ended the week with a win against Chicago in a doozy of an OT game that Doughty finished off. Kings are still right about where people thought they would be so no big surprises yet.26 (25.97)Chicago Blackhawks14-6-31-1-1Dach is here to stay. Boqvist was recalled from Rockford. His first NHL goal was the Hawks' first by a defenseman at 5-on-5, becoming the last team to score as such. Also, Toews earned his first 5-on-5 point with a secondary assist on Boqvist's goal. Hawks' rookies that scored their 1st NHL goal in the 1st period of their 2nd game this season: Kubalik, Dach, Boqvist. The Hawks gave up 100 shots against in consecutive games (Tue @ NSH & Sat @ LAK). Scott Powers wrote, "The Blackhawks’ expected goals percentage was 22.65 against the Predators, according to Natural Stat Trick. That’s the lowest it’s been in the last five seasons." Seabrook was a healthy scratch for the 2nd consecutive game (Tue), but drew back into the lineup. On Saturday, the Hawks broke their drought of 22-consecutive PPs without a goal, and Crawford played his first game without giving up a PPG against. Lehner's streak of penalties killed ended at 25. He earned his 100th career win Sunday.27 (26.34)San Jose Sharks-44-10-10-3-0Another garbage week for the Sharks. This week is their last chance to turn it around, if they're still at the bottom of the pacific by the 20 game mark it's very unlikely we'll make the playoffs. This has been such a frustrating team to watch. There have been good games, so I know the team has it in them to play well, but Deboer's system is failing. It feels like a repeat of last season's start where our system of lots of point shots is failing us on defence without providing all the goals it did last year. The team is far better when we cycle in the offensive zone and use our forward talent instead of relying on Burns/Karl's point shots which cause too many turnovers. There's far too much talent on the roster to be doing so badly, it's time for Deboer to make some changes or Doug Wilson will have to.28 (26.52)New Jersey Devils13-5-41-0-2What is there to say at this point? This team is not winning as they should be. The Good: We managed to beat the Hurricanes, by some stroke of luck, and the Flyers game wasn't a complete dumpster fire. Vatanen has been playing very good offensive hockey and is currently 3rd in points on the team, and Zacha seems to finally be breaking into his own. The Bad: We keep blowing leads, we had leads in both the Bolts and Flyers losses. Oh and it's worth noting that in a 7 goal game, Stammer and Kuch combined for 0 points against us. Plus both our PP and PK are sitting near the bottom of the league. The Ugly: Blackwood has a 3-2-3 record (every win and OT loss) while sporting a 0.878 SV%. Yikes. Hall has 12 points and is point per game, but only has 2 goals. He really needs to be one of our finishing guys, currently the only guy over 5 goals is Palms at 6, and 3 came during his wasted hat trick against the Bolts.29 (26.97)Minnesota Wild-14-9-10-2-1Three losses for Minnesota this week and the boys knew how to treat their fans well by losing in a different fashion each time out. Every veteran looks like they've lost another step over the summer and any faithful fan courageous enough to watch night in and night out should be looking to add twelve steps to their life. Hey, at least we're getting some great Boudreau memes out of this nightmare.30 (28.07)Detroit Red Wings-4-10-11-2-0The amount of effort needed to put into this blurb might exceed the effort we have been seeing from our beloved Wings. The talk of the NHL town has come towards head coach Jeff Blashill as he occupies a chair set in the California wildfires. Yzerman most likely does not have a replacement as of yet and offered Blashill a two year extension at the start of the season so I would be surprised if he lets him go now. Here is the issue. Either Blashill is not making great game plans or the players are not executing them and going freestyle. The effort just seems very lazy from the team as of now so I will choose the latter. The power play goals seem to come from crisp passes and good positioning rather than luck, and the Wings are looking to make the right plays but it just seems like they are executing well at all. We shall watch with great interest to see if something changes.31 (29.31)Ottawa Senators-3-8-10-1-0The Good: Our Tank is on track, the Sharks are falling hard in the standings, and all the other teams we're competing with for 31st in the standings have at least 1 point this week. A great week for the Sennies game plan to #DernièrePourLafreniè. The Bad: Logan Brown going into week-to-week mode due to an unspecified injury and Sabourin suffering a particularly scary concussion put a serious damper on the Bruins game. Thankfully, Sabourin is being released from the hospital today thanks to some kind of miracle (and the world-class doctors of Boston). In further silver lining, this means in the next game we'll have a line with Mikkel Bødker and Bobby Ryan on it for maximum overtank to really keep us low in the standings. r/hockey NHL Power Rankings Week 5: Presidential Losers Edition Source

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powerranks · 7 years

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Power Ranks: Week 3

This week in the NFL was slightly depressing for me, and it wasn’t just because I got my ass handed to me by Dyl. I’ve wanted to sort of share my thoughts on the protests through some sort of outlet, and I guess I’ll do it here, as briefly as I can since this isn’t why you guys read this. If you really don’t want to, you can skip the next two paragraphs.

Trump, among other things, is a racist prick. However, I think he knew what he was doing when he started attacking the NFL. He (and the media) have turned what was originally Kaepernick’s protest against racial inequality into “NFL players against the flag”, all while taking attention away from the fact that his shitty attempt to take away healthcare failed. It’s really hard to get so much wrong in a four word headline, but headlines on major news outlets read “NFL protests American Flag”. What the fuck is that? Trump literally took all attention from the point of the protest and made it a race/patriotic thing, despite saying it wasn’t about race.. Twitter arguments on the subject are absurdly revealing of closeted racists that now have a reason to speak up (this sentence can be said about the entire Trump administration), and I’m sure you guys have seen the videos of people burning their NFL jerseys and swearing off the league. A bar owner in Minnesota made the doormat into his bar out of jerseys that read “Lynch Kaepernick”. This is pathetic and sad, and it’s even sadder that I could go on. I think this is what Trump aimed to do. The people angry about the protest are the people that are missing the point, or ignoring it because of their own racist agenda. Lots of bad things have come out of this, but I hope we can focus on the positives, which is that this has sparked a national discussion that you can’t be on the fence about. (Sorry Drew Brees, you sounded like an asshole when you tip toed on the fence.) Nothing will change unless something like this happens, and I’m glad that a unified showing against the bullshit intimidation methods of an attention seeking president who’s done everything in his power to make activism in the NFL about him might start a revolution.

It’s absolutely insane to me that the most influential athlete of the past year wasn’t seen Sunday, but it was incredible seeing that his presence was so strongly felt. It’s clear he’s being blackballed, but with every passing day that we talk about the reason he’s being blackballed, Kaepernick won. I guess the point of this little write up is to not forget the point of the protest. White privilege and systemic racism exist, kneeling during the anthem does not equal disrespect to the flag or soldiers, and the more we talk about it the better. Contrary to the people burning their jerseys and season tickets, I’ll watch the absolute shit out of the NFL now. I know that I usually don’t talk about anything that actually matters with you guys so this might be weird or uncomfortable to hear, I just needed to share some thoughts.

P.S.: HOW FUCKING WILD WOULD THIS WHOLE PROTEST THING BE WITH DAN AROUND? I MIGHT’VE ACTUALLY KICKED HIS ASS. SHOUTOUT ALEX FOR SAYING SOMETHING TO THE GUY.

Scott Team Update : 6-3. I will continue to post this until the Scott trifecta is under .500.

Reminder: the number I give you doesn’t matter as much as the tier I put you in, I don’t see a big difference between teams in a tier other than small details.

The “literally every draft pick I made was perfect and I have the midas touch” tier

1. Scott’s Balls 12-11-16 (Anthony “it’s been golden boy bullshit for a year and a half now, i hope karma comes and fucking stabs your cocky, complaining about Ben Watson garbage time touchdowns when literally everyone on your team has 239487239847 points, saying you could lose when Alex has Carr and Lynch when you’re up 75 ass face” Mendola) (3-0) (LW:1)

I’m not actually that mad, I’m man enough to admit its jealousy. Your team is good, I’m not sure how much I can write about it considering it’s been the same formula for three weeks, Cam sucking, Kareem Hunt 60 yard touchdowns, Chris Hogan bullshit, Gronk fucking the football, and your WR2 always doing well. (Geronimo fucking ALLISON). I’m still not 100 percent sold on the receivers, but Hogan looks for real at this point. Enjoy it while it lasts my dude.

2. Fournette About It (Jack “closeted viking fan, non closeted clown porn enthusiast” Cleek) (2-1) (LW: 3)

I really believe in this team now that it’s been proven that the skill position guys are QB proof. When you can sustain four fantasy relevant people with Case Keenum, you know you can start any of the Vikings any given week. When you thrive with Jared Goff and Bazooka Blake Bortles as the people handing off to you, you can do anything. I like the addition of Nick Swardson, and if you could find a QB you’re never gonna lose again (other than the Vikings bye week)

The “This is a whole tier of above average inconsistent garbage” tier

3. Hammer (Tony “He’s back!” Mendola) (1-2) (LW: 7)

I know, I know, this is a meteoric rise from 7, but Tony’s team has gotten better every week, and over the course of the years there hasn’t been a single person better than him at identifying the random, shitty dudes who get 10 a week. Brady is back to being Brady, Devonta Freeman looks like a steal at the 8th pick, T.Y. showed he might be able to do something with Brissett, and Jared Cook is this year’s Richard Rodgers, the tight end Tony starts and just always gets 8. Going forward, this team should be just fine, especially if Chris Thompson can keep producing at this rate for a few more weeks.

4. Aegon Targaryen M’FVCKA (Alex “weirdly been quiet” Ahn) (2-1) (LW: 2)

I’m not sure if you’ve been quiet because nobody’s accepting trades, or you just don’t talk to me specifically because I just laugh at all the trade offers, but its been a strange start of the season, I almost miss the crappy trade offers because it at least made us talk. Anyways, nobody can really blame you for losing to Anthony’s golden boy bullshit, but your team did REALLY bad last week. The main reason you’re dropping down to 4 is that Lynch, the Crow, and your QB’s just don’t look consistent. Jeffery (maybe) and Tyreek are gonna be just fine, and Elliott is Elliott, but the rest of your team doesn’t really look good or bad, just kinda meh. It’s a good team that needs to find consistency. That being said, I’m calling it now, Matt Ryan reads these and he’s gonna drop 400 yards and 3 TD’s on my ass for suggesting he’s gonna keep regressing.

5. Rick and Jordy (Chris “also should kinda change the name” Gatzow) (1-2) (LW:4)

You’re only in dead last place because of how weird the victories have been this year, but I still think your team is about average. I’m a lot lower on it than I was at the beginning of the year, but only because so many guys haven’t shown up yet. Julio has had the yurds, but not the touchdowns. Baldwin only looked good because Wilson put up a shitload of garbage time points. T West doesn’t look nearly as good as he did at the beginning of the season. Delanie Walker is having a down year because of how many weapons that Tennessee offense has. I’m not sure if Cooper and Howard are gonna get 0 or 20 on any given week. This tier was full of inconsistent teams that I think are okay, and your team is the most inconsistent of the bunch in my opinion.

6. Don’t Trust a Younghoe (Dylan “name change time now?” Jessop) (1-2) (LW: 8)

Dropping Younghoe might’ve been the best thing you did (You’re welcome bitch) since Succop looks legit this year. Your record and points scored don’t suggest you should be this high, but holy shit I don’t think that many people know about how much points you’ve left on your bench, I know part of that is your own foolish decisions, but had you been starting the right dudes you may be the second or third highest scorer. I think the longer the year goes on, the more you’ll figure your own team out. This team is deep as hell. You’re sitting Michael Crabtree AND Gilislee this week, that’s impressive as hell. If CJ and Demarco can get slightly more consistent, you’re gonna be scary, Watkins dropping that low looks scary now.

7. Mixon it Up (Alec “Chris really ruined this and made me write so much more on these rankings by losing, and also ruined an amazing meme that nobody’s gonna see now” Bernstein (1-2) (LW:9)

Alright, the joke and tier is over. I really was doing it only because you talked shit about your ranking, and I was TOTALLY right for the first two weeks. But last week was more along the lines of what I think you envisioned with your team. Granted, Wilson only got his points because it was garbage time and they needed to come back, but he got 35 nonetheless. Lamar Miller, as we’ve said, will get 8 or 9 a week but he’s not gonna let you down. Mixon looks like he’s on the upswing. Green/Beckham, for as bad as they had been before this week, are about as scary a duo as you can have at WR. Eifert dying sucks, but Graham is such a nice fantasy tight end and I’m upset nobody else got him/someone dropped him in the first place (cough cough ALEx). I still don’t think your team is good, but it deserves to be in this tier just because it’s shown you can break 100. That’s more than...

The teams that can’t break 100 or even 90 can say tier

8. Scott’s Penis (David “slowly realizing I used 100% of my luck the year i won” Chinchilla) (1-2) (LW: 6)

I’m only ranking myself 8 because I’m the only one of the remaining teams that’s broken 90. Dyl hasn’t broken 90 either, but he’s left like 2903847298347 points on his bench so he deserves a bit more than this embarrassment down here. I don’t even know what to say. QB is so bleak without Luck that I just dropped Jared Goff and picked up Trevor Siemian and felt like that was an upgrade, how sad would that sentence have been last year? Hyde is my only good player, Ajayi and McCoy are in bad situations (McCoy especially, the Bills REFUSE to give that guy the ball inside the 45 yard line) and my receivers are just so MEH. I have no faith in any of my receivers getting more than 9, and Reed might’ve ALREADY died for the year. I think my team really really sucks, but not because of a lack of talent, just all my players are on teams that can;t seem to score. I’m finding myself rooting for the other team to do bad more than I am for rooting my team onward to victory.

9. Beshoy and some Backups (Beshoy “Aaron Rodgers vs. The World” Halim) (1-2) (LW:5)

We’ve talked a lot about our teams and while I think your top three are better than my top three, I think the rest of your team is a whole hell of a lot of not number one guys. You get Martin back after this week, but I still have little faith in some of your guys. I think Henry can be for real, that offense might be able to sustain two RB’s, but that remains to be seen. Cohen could be good, but Jordan Howard came back from the dead last week (multiple times). Thielen is always gonna be the #3 red zone target in that offense, but the good thing is that he has a clear yards floor. Idk what Blount will be doing going forward, but at least he’s definitely the battering ram down at the goal line. I really hope this turns around for you, but as of now, much like with my team, things look bleak.

10. Scott’s Jizz (Scott “just being disrespected at this point” Felgenhauer) (2-1) (LW:10)

I know you’re gonna be upset again, but I don’t know what you want me to say...Ajayi has played in two games and scored less than three in one of those two, and he’d be your second best running back on your team. Dak and Dez have been REALLY nice so far, and I trust Kelce, but everything else on the squad is just such a random dart or a bad player. Mike Thomas finally had his good game, as did Jackson/Dez/Dak and you STILL only scored 80. I am rooting for you and hope you win more games, but I can’t rank you any higher until you get literally anything out of your RB’s.

PICKS

Aegon Targaryen M’FVCKA (Alex) over Scott’s Penis (David)

UPSET SPECIAL BABY VVVVVV

Beshoy and some Backups (Beshoy) over Scott’s Balls 12-11-16 (Anthony)

Hammer (Tony) over Mixon it Up (Alec)

Don’t Trust a Younghoe (Dyl) over Scott’s Jizz (Scott)

Fournette About It (Jack) over Rick and Jordy (Chris)

Last week : 2-3

Season: 100-0 (fuck you guys)

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