Eeby Deeby goncharov 1973 polls horse plinko vanilla extract glup shitto Suez canal superwholock superhell five nights at dokidoki cuptale bug race sexyman blorbo ao3 down November 5th destielputinelection twitter downfall where'd you get your shoelaces verification summon crabs colour of the sky children's hospital colour theory the ides of march

Whichever one gets the most votes is what I'm going to print on this custom mug

[ID: A digital drawing of Cecil and Carlos. Cecil is an older mid-sized white man with a graying lilac mullet and mustache, a lot of body hair, tan lines, long purple and teal painted nails, and purple eyeshadow. He is wearing a green cross wrap halter crop top, a teal miniskirt, a purple shoelace as a belt around his waist, furry rainbow legwarmers, and pink bunny slippers. He's holding a black cell phone with a pop socket with the Night Vale logo on it. Carlos is an older mid-sized Latino man with medium dark brown skin, black and gray curly hair with a matching beard, a lot of body hair, and a couple moles by his eye. He is wearing a white labcoat, dull red boxers, white crew socks and brown sandals, a small black stud earring, and large square glasses. The entire image has a magenta filter over it.

Cecil is sitting on a red cushioned stool with his legs crossed over each other and smiling down at his phone. Carlos is standing with one foot raised, hugging Cecil with one arm and holding his free hand over his shoulder with the other. They're both leaning into each other. Cecil says, "Carlos, look! I've been declared the "Ultimate Sexyman"!" And Carlos replies, kissing his cheek, "I could've told you that, my honey-voiced honey~" with "honey-voiced honey" italicized. end ID]

~~~~

good evening cecilsweep nation. i made a celebratory Them <3

hello new tumblr users! a lot of you are twitter refugees, so it is necessary to teach you about tumblr culture and how it differs from twitter.

REBLOG!!! tumblr runs on reblogs. there is no algorithm so if you want to show off a cool post you found (think of it as a cool rock) you have to reblog it (pass the rock around). love is stored in the reblog. it's especially important to reblog art!!!

CHANGE YOUR PROFILE PICTURE!!! tumblr has got a perpetual bot problem. we've tried time and time again to get rid of them but they always come back. so, we've taken to the habit of blocking blogs that show up in our notes with one of the default tumblr profile pictures. don't get blocked by a blog you like just because you have a default profile picture! change it! it doesn't take that much effort! while you're at it, consider adding something to your bio to show us that you aren't a bot!

ASKS AND ANONS!!! you may have noticed you have the ability to send asks on tumblr to other users. you can also send them anonymously (unless the blog has turned anon asks off). DON'T SEND HATE ANONS!!! you will get utterly destroyed. also, it's really rude and mean, so don't. find a moral compass and follow it.

CELEBRITIES AND COMPANIES!!! yes, there are celebrities and companies on tumblr. IGNORE COMPANIES. DO NOT INTERACT WITH THEIR POSTS. i don't care if they are funny. we don't want to end up like twitter (there's a reason why you left). the only celebrity we allow on here is our local cryptid, mr. neil gaiman. he's been through the horrors with us. if content creators for your fandom are on here, treat them with respect. respect their boundaries. they are Just Some Guy On Tumblr like you are.

COMMON QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE:

Q: how do i get popular on tumblr?

A: you've come to the wrong place. you don't come to tumblr to get popular, you come to tumblr to show off your hyperfixations and mental illness. no one can see your follower count except for you. you might have 5 followers or 5000. no one cares about your follower count.

Q: well, okay, but how do i gain followers?

A: gaining followers isn't the point of tumblr!!! but if you really want to, you've got to interact and tag. interact with blogs you are fans of, and tag your works for your targeted audience/fandom.

Q: well, how do i tag?

A: when you create a post, or reblog a post, there is a place at the bottom just above the post now/reblog button that says #add tags. type in your tags there. please, please, please tag content that may be triggering!!! also, we don't do things like "unalive" and "su1cide" here. this isn't tiktok, this isn't twitter. when you don't tag triggering content properly, you risk people who it affects seeing it and hurting them.

Q: what if i don't want to see certain content?

A: block the tags. go to settings, and under account, there is a place for you to filter tags. type them in. you won't see posts with tagged with the tags you enter.

Q: what is a tumblr mutual?

A: tumblr mutuals are the ones who've been through the horrors by your side. between the two of you, there is an unbreakable bond.

Q: what is superwholock? who is destiel? how many tumblr sexyman are there? why is there a ball pit? what is a kung pow penis? i heard john green was on here, where is he? why do people love the color of the sky? why do people like my shoelaces?

A: in order of questions asked: hell, you don't want to know, infinite, dashcon, homestuck, a holy weapon handed down through the generations, look up "john green cock post", we also love scrolling, did you steal them from the president?

just heard the group of girls behind me at the restaurant im in call sans the #1 tumblr sexyman and say hes 1 half of their otp... where do yall think they got their shoelaces...

Part 1 of me making designs and headcanons for these stupid character thingies. Starting off with The Brothers Strong. (I’ll be doing The Cheat, Coach Z, & Bubs next)

(Note: You don’t have to agree with any of the sexuality and/or gender hcs as long as you’re respectful about it)

————————————————————————

Explanation time! Yippee

Strong Sad: As you can notice, I didn’t really make too many changes with him. Except with some of the facial features; she now has some kind of swirly thing on the back of her head and freckles on her face. They also have swirly things on their knees as well along with cool striped fingerless gloves because yes. I actually did hc Strong Sad as nonbinary once but looking more into it now, I see Strong Sad to be genderfluid now. Since the wiki shows that Strong Sad is to be around his early-mid 20s, I decided to make him be around 24 years old. I decided to keep her height the same as the one on the wiki, which is 6’6”.

Strong Mad: Like Strong Sad, I didn’t make as many changes to him as before except for a darker skin tone along with freckles on the face and shoulders along with bandaging on his hands and his boots/shoes are a little more detailed now. I wasn’t sure as to what I could hc Strong Mad as so I hc’d him to be aroace and unlabeled. Going with the wiki again, saying that he’s around his late 20s-early 30s, I made him to be around 32 years old. Kept his canon height as well, 7’4”.

Strong Bad: Time for my favorite character ever since I was 4’s turn. (That sounded stupid) His design is probably the most detailed out of all the brothers’. His crest his fuckin’ big and more detailed. you could kill a whole family with that crest I think. The same goes with his gemstone thingy as well. He also has this cool mask pattern now as well and a spiked choker because yes and it looks cool on him. Since his canon height is legit 5’5”, I tried to make him look like it but I hope it doesn’t look like I gave him a Tumblr Sexyman bod cause I swear if any of you say that I will cry. And t-scars because transmasc Strong Bad real. He has cool a boxing glove design with stitching along with detailed shoelace boots. His age on the wiki was around mid-late 20s so I made him 26.

————————————————————————

That’s pretty much it for the explanation (I hope it doesn’t sound too stupid). But anyways, I hope the designs look cool to you guys!

Hello twittypets! Don't worry there is no Muskie Huskie here! As somewhat of a tumblr historian I would like to teach you the ways of the tumblrclan! <3 :3 so grab onto your plinko horses and get ready cuz we're going to superhell!

1- ALWAYS reblog the creator daddy Karp uwu

2- here it is not gay but instead it is yaoi!! :33

3- if you see someone who looks like a member of the tumblrclan you have to say "I like your shoelaces"!! And the correct response is "thanks i stole them from the president!!!! Uwu

4- remember reading homestuck!! ^w^

5- according to color theory red has more positive connotations than negative therefore putting it in a children's hospital is completely ok!!! ^^

6- instead of remembering 9/11 here we remember supernatural's finale! °^°

7- Sans is the most grandiose sexyman Uwu

8- always remember to celebrate fingers in his ass sunday!!!

9- If you don't respect the LGBTs we WILL drop the Down With Cis bus on all of you <3

That's it twittypets!! And always remember to girlboss responsibly!!! Have fun being a tumblypoo now!!!!

tumblr sexyman decsendants ideas

The sexyman decsendants au should be shortened to TSD because funny

2. All social media are different citys/school districts. So Tumblr and Twitter are the main rival school because they're located the closest and both schools have the same color scheme. Everyone at Tumblr university, and Tsd hates the Twitter district because in tumblr district if you like something you tell the individual so, and another instead of just mentally thinking to yourself 'hey I also like gatebossing'. Because of this Twitter users are seen as annoying as they like stuff but don't say anything, while people who live in the twitter district find it unessasaey because if you like something, the person and your mutuals know that because of the hivemind/mind sharing powers.

3. There was a statue in front of school of the Onceler as he was (?) the original found of TSD school, but due to discourse about who was the actual first/best vandilism happen so the statue was then replaced with the school/city districts founder David Karp

4. What if every actual irl human was non existent/known as a mythical history. thought of this because Lyra's song anthropology.

5. What is the school mascot? A crab? 🦀. Someone make designs of the school logo so then stickers/tsd school merch can be made. All actual Tumblr merch should be slightly altered and so then spamton jr can be drawn with tumblr shoelaces, and maybe komedea drinking out of a Tumblr tumblr.

So, to new users, you probably have seen posts about how there’s no algorithm, how you should have a header and pfp other than the default ones, how you should reblog everything, how blocking is not a moral thing but a convenience one, etc. But let’s talk vibes.

- There is a culture in Tumblr. We are a civilization. We are nice but the ecosystem isn’t, it’s ruthless and unforgiving. You shall adapt or you shall perish.

- There are important holidays. Some are more important than others. Out of touch thursday is commonly accepted, and Sad-ant-with-a-bindle-monday is a nice one to participate in. Do not speak ill of the 5th of November, which is the international day.

- You are not obliged to have watched the series or read the books everyone else has. But it would give you a headstart to know what Destiel, Superwholock and Dracula Daily mean. More specialized slang, like Horse Plinko, Blorbo, Eeby Deeby or Jonmina, will come later.

- We don’t have the same kind of personnalities as Twitter has: our pantheon is composed of President Smellborp, Glup Shitto and my cousin Throckmorton, to only talk about the most notorious.

- Traditions such as the Sexyman Bracket, the Colour Theory comments, etc, might seem outdated or outright weird to the common newcomer. You are completely free to ignore them, and completely free to find them stupid. Be warned however that if you smear them, you will be stoned to death.

- If you want the question and the answer to be public, you can ask people things through the askbox. If you want it to be private, direct-message them.

- As for the header and pfp problem, you should know that there is a neversleeping plague in here: they call themselves sugar daddy or sugar baby, lonely girl or even mature teen, but we call them PornBots. We recognize them at a default header and profile picture, and their blogs are full of porn. However, they started evolving and sometimes have not only a credible username, but also a profile picture. You WILL be blocked on sight if you have never reblogged anything and/or if you have the default header and pfp. When we fight a war, we don’t care what brought you to wear the ennemy’s uniform, we care only to make you bleed.

- The Shibboleth if you think someone you know is on Tumblr is “I like your shoelaces”. The addressed shall, if they are from tumblr, answer with “Thanks! I stole them from the president”. Few are still living who remember the meaning or the origin of those words.

- If there’s a flashing gif, tag it as “tw flashing” or “flashing”. Do NOT tag as “epilepsy”, or epileptic people in quest of informations will open the tag and die promptly after being exposed to twenty flashing gifs all at once. This is not a joke.

- You can block tags and post contents in your settings. Be warned that the post contents will also filter the usernames: so if you filter “fire” because you don’t like fire or because it generally comes with flashing gifs, know that it will block anyone with a username saying firelord, firefighter, brighter-than-fire and such.

- Anon hate is for cowards and for fools. Who would come, however well masked, to a king’s very throne room, in order to insult them? When the king is accompagnied by his most trusted advisors and most devouted subjects? It’s also not a nice thing. You can be blocked even if you’re on anon btw.

- There are posses and groups, factions if you like. Some are politicals, some are religious, some go by hobbies... You can go wherever you like but be sure to be armed before you ever go near an unfamiliar Fandom. Those are dreaded even by the most valiant heroes.

- The current climate is midly xenophobic. No one cares where you come from, mind you, in real life. But if you’re coming here from Twitter, hide the signs. Pick up the lingua, talk about reblogs not retweets, try to put “rebagel” at some point and talk about SPN and how dreadful the Superwholock fandom are just as if you belonged. Lie low. You’ll be able to joke about that later with your mutuals. For the moment, you might want to be safe rather than sorry.

- This is a lawless land. You make justice by yourself, by blocking people or by reporting them. I’d recommand only to report people actively encouraging crime and the Ennemy (the pornbots), but you do you, and you know better than me when it’s time to unsheathe your weapon.

- For the love of all that is holy, tag your posts. If you don’t, they will find you.

- On that note, try to tag the trigger warnings/content warnings with tw or cw tags which already exist. Because blocking the tag “tw incest” doesn’t block the tag “tw: incest”. And if you ever try your hand at censoring your tags (ex: “tw e4t1ng d1s0rd3rs” or “tw r*ape”)... not only will you harm people, you will probably be harmed in return. DO NOT CENSOR YOUR TAGS, and except if relevant (if you really want people who censor those words to still read this post) do not censor the words in the post itself.

- Rogue knights who fought under the banner of the Blue Bird prior to its castle’s conquest by the Elongated-Muskrat-blason man, are not seen with a kind eye right now. But boy oh boy, if you betray that you’re from Tiktok, for example with the use of words such as “unalive”, you will wish that someone would use such kind words to describe what will be left of you. Don’t censor yourselves. For the above-mentionned problem, and because using words such as fuck, kill, murder, arson, disembowelment, have no algorithm charged with tracking it. You won’t be censored by the ecosystem: don’t censor yourself.

- The Tumbeasts are the official emblem of the Hellsite. You can use this nicholasname in a derogatory, affectionate or flirtatious manner. Don’t try to hunt the Tumbeasts to extinction. Much like the hydras, you will only find yourself with more ennemies than you could count before starting your quest.

- No one cares for the name, address or age of the mysterious guy who stepped in the saloon. It will actually be sus of them to wear a badge with their real name, age or city, on their chest. Sus people will be taken advantage of or blocked. There’s a third, secret thing, but you’re not old enough to know about it - old in tumblr days of course, not in real-life days.

- The Tumbeasts eat electronical circuits. However if you disturb their sleep they will bite, and they will add to their diet any living moving thing, from blue birds to tiktokers. Ye be warned.

- Don’t try to change us. Others tried before and are no longer around to flaunt their unfortunate attempts. Assimilate. If change has to happen, it will happen organically.

TL;DR: Don’t censor your tags nor yourself, both because it’s useless and because it will actively harm people blocking the full words, and put a pfp and a header. Block liberally. Stay clear of the Fandoms if you’re not ready, there’s no shame in it.

Welcome to the Hellsite, you weeaboo little shits. Sleep tight, tomorrow your first day of hell starts. There’s no exit. They took the bridge.

ROUND ONE RESULTS

And so ends round one of best tumblr moment ever. We...didn't have that many votes, but regardless, we still have some winners to go over.

POLL ONE: DASHCON

Sorry Wayne, but seems like you won't be wearing your socks hooves in the ballpit today

POLL TWO: COLOR THEORY

Seems like everyone's favorite color of the sky is red!

POLL THREE: TIE!?

That's right, I'm the PS5 and Live Slug reaction both got 11 votes each! This calls for a rematch! The rematch will be held February 10th, 2023 (today) at 1:00 PM EST.

POLL FOUR: NONE PIZZA WITH LEFT BEEF

Seems like the horse will be staying in plinko hell today! Hope he enjoys beef!

POLL FIVE: GONCHAROV (1973)

Seems like it really is "The Greatest Mafia Movie Ever Made"

POLL SIX: RANDY YOUR STICKS

Sorry ma'am, but stealing someone's shoelaces is a criminal offense and it seems like 53% of people agree!

POLL SEVEN: DRACULA DAILY

Turns out Dracula Daily CAN kill him in a way that matters!

POLL EIGHT: AUTISM CREATURE (BLORBOS)

I'll fully admit, I wasn't expecting Vanilla Extract to go so soon!

POLL NINE: SEXYMEN

Don't feel bad sans, just because your previous win didn't win doesn't mean you're out of the running! Remember, you ARE still a tumblr sexyman

POLL TEN: QUEEN ELIZABETH

It was a LANDSLIDE victory, with 91% of people voting for the queen (or in this case the queen's death)! Guess we should call it the no votes ghoast from now on.

POLL ELEVEN: OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY

We truly are out of touch

POLL TWELVE: CRABS

sorry luigi, maybe next time

POLL THIRTEEN: MY THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS

This one was closer than expected, but the 3 weed smoking gfs won out in the end.

POLL FOURTEEN: THEN PERISH

Decrease the increase complied

ROUND FIFTEEN: TIE!?

I can't believe I'm saying this but we have ANOTHER tie! Just like the first one, the rematch will be held February 10th, 2023 (today) at 1:00 PM EST.

POLL SIXTEEN: PONDERING MY ORB

The grinch was in fact a mean one, but unfortunately tony wasn't grrrreat enough to compensate!

And there you have it! After the two rematches, I'll post another update. Then round two will start on February 12th, 2023 at 12:00PM EST. Hope to see you there!

This is my 500th post on this blog. To celebrate, I will take one word from each of my posts in order, and try to make a coherent thought out of them. HERE GOES!

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Comic made in about an hour, in spanish class. All that Tumblr Sexyman Poll thing inspired me lol

I named Cecil Radiohost cuz I haven't listened to Welcome To Night Vale (yet?) and that's avout the only thing I know about him

Transcription under the cut if you can't read it

[1]

Shoelace : So Radiohost won ?

Blogclaw : Yes

Shoelace : Wow

[2]

Shoelace : Honestly, I wasn't expecting those results. I thought that Oncewhisker would go farther

Blogclaw : He had his time

[3]

Mouseface : Can I be a sexyman too ?

Blogclaw : No, Mouseface. You're not skrunkly enought

[4]

Horsefall : How about me ?

Blogclaw : Horsefall NO