#shitty movies | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

worrysomegus · 1 month

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I am going insane at how bad this park is in jurassic world like there's a ride where the attendees can control their own orb thing through a large amount of actual dinosaurs. and it doesn't have like a taking over the steering thing to bring them all back in in case of, I don't know, a dinosaur escaping?

I can not concieve of a single scenario where letting untrained guests get this close to wild animals with zero veto power could possibly go wrong - the people that created this ride, apparently

they even IN THE MOVIE ride through a goddamn stampede or something, and we see that just the indominous rexes jaws can get through the glass, a triceratops could definitely get through if it tried hard enough, like maybe, perhaps, hypothetically, in some wild scenario, a rich tourist doesn't understand that maybe getting close to a large herbivores young offspring is a bad idea.

and seriously why is there no button that just.. recalls all of the balls

how does this ride even work how do they get through the line when they just tell guests okay bye go roam this grassy wonderland filled with large things that can kill you yet you have no concern for, people have definitely had sex in those things and people have definitely been gone for hours.

also the mosasaurus cage, hm maybe a second draft might be in order. maybe?

okay. cool. sure. fine whatever, it's not like it does this multiple times daily surely there will be no issue here

she is also shown breaching the barrier and getting onto the walkway in the fucking movie

like the mosasaur is IN THIS BODY OF WATER HERE and that is a busy walkway that people are encouraged to sit and eat under, also sidenote that woman you see falling has like 5 minutes of screentime and half of it is an extremely gruesome death, like by far the worst in the movie. this movie has very normal opinions about women.

okay so this one looks different to the other dinky barrier, somehow even more dinky, but still on a presumably busy walkway since this is on the end of a street where their very obvious sponsor pandora had set up shop (and a bunch of dino merch)

and like yeah, shocker, massive powerful sea creature can leap out of the water and break the dinky fence, it could have done this at any time at all it is probably more powerful than the indominous rex which we SEE breaking much stronger barriers than the dinky glass one. also sidenote this screenshot is VERY funny

I could go on for years about how shit this movie is every other moment there is a massive plothole, very sorry about this post I am going insane.

#jurassic world #mosasaur #shitty movies #I should be asleep rn #tyrannosaurus rex #indominus rex #fucking hate this movie

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filmbropilled · 3 months

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silveragelovechild · 1 year

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This year I’ve been trying to be more selective about which movies I go see. In the past few years I found that my “worst movies of the year” list was out numbering my “favorite movies of the year list”.

But I’ve been itching to go see a new movie, and pretty much on blind faith I bought a Thursday Night advance ticket to Adam Driver’s “65” - a kind of “Cretaceous Park”.

But as Thursday approached, I noticed Rotten Tomatoes hadn’t given it a score. That usually means the Studio had a black out in place - not allow reviews until opening day. A very bad sign.

I found 3 reviews (from outside the USA) and none were remotely positive. They referenced to a weak script and bad CGI.

Thankfully I was able to get a refund on that ticket I bought!

UPDATE: the Rotten Tomatoes score is finally in - 30% with 23 reviews. That’s sure to drop…

#shitty movies #65 movie #Adam driver #Jurassic park #dinosaurs #bad cgi #Cretaceous Park #65 million years ago

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blistersonmefingehs · 1 year

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please tell me im not alone

#.#i hope the poll doesnt break im really curious #also NO the years arent wrong. the years are right believe me #polls #poll #shitty movies

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kurtsworld05 · 2 years

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does anyone else remember watching this cuz i swear it didnt exist but ig it does????

#stranger things 4 #argyle stranger things #the package #movies #shitty movies

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cronenfag · 9 days

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as far as i'm concerned all gore is necessary

#obvi just using gore to compensate for shitty writing doesn't make something good #BUT. complaining about gore in horror movies is sooo weird like that's half the reason i'm here #also good and fun gore does actually compensate for shitty writing. maybe not to you but to me #it has to be good tho #m

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camellianswer · 4 months

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reblog with a movie you like but shouldn't

i'll go first: the Hangover trilogy is my comfort movies. yes the main characters are homophobic, racist, sexist cheaters. but it's so satisfying to watch them fuck themselves over in hilarious ways.

also, Leslie Chow not only has the n-word pass, but he needs his own movie. he's the highlight of all the films for me.

#hangover #shitty movies #controversial faves

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phantomrose96 · 9 months

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The realest part of the Barbie Movie was when Barbie was like "okay but what if this hurts his feelings? what if this makes him sad? :(" after Ken stole her house, stole her car, and stole her agency, because as a woman you still have to second guess everything you do on the assessment of whether it might hurt a man's feelings.

And then that apprehension was proven right one million times over by the entire Conservative Internet Manosphere pissing and shitting and screaming themselves hoarse over Barbie daring to hurt a man's feelings.

#barbie #barbie movie #also if the genders were reversed and Ken's character was a woman everyone would fucking _hate_ her im just saying #'petty bratty bitchy girlfriend wants to steal everything her boyfriend owns because she learned about feminism'#everyone would HATE her #but because Ken's a man everyones pissing frothing review is about how shittily he was treated and how shitty the men are treated blah blah #(I fucking loved Ken in the movie but I'm saying this with confidence: Everyone would hate female!Ken if this was reversed)

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alicentsgf · 1 year

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stardust (2007) really has everything. murder. mayhem. witches. gay pirates. unicorns. true love. claire danes. blond henry cavill before blond henry cavill was cool. subtle but wildly inappropriate jokes. a beheading. a lost princess. a running commentary of sarcastic ghosts. and more murder.

#its one of the movies i always end up watching when i feel shitty #stardust 2007 #why dont they make movies like this anymore

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shitpostingkats · 1 year

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I saw the dnd movie with my partner and took away only what was intended.

#shitty edits #dungeons and dragons #dnd #dnd movie #dungeons and dragons honor among thieves #dndhat #dnd honor among thieves #honor among thieves #edgin darvis #edgin the bard #xenk yendar #xenk the paladin #edgin x xenk #PalaBard

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pansexual-poochyena · 1 year

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What if they made a movie in which the greatest orchestra performers have to form a group to save the planet. But we gaslight them into thinking that they actually save it.

#shitty movies #orchestra

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tentacle-therapissed · 1 year

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I’m so glad the Guillermo Del Toro Pinocchio movie is being received really well, because it was literally my most anticipated movie of the year! So here’s some fun facts about the crew, concept, and production that got me excited about this movie and that I think would excite much of tumblr as well:

-the screenplay was cowritten by Del Toro and Patrick McHale, creator of Over The Garden Wall and a writer on Adventure Time.

-the movie was codirected by Mark Gustasfon, who was the animation director of Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

-the primary art/animation designers of this movie (production designer Curt Enderle, art director Robert DeSue, character designer Georgina Hayns, animation supervisor Brian Leif Hansen, and photography director Frank Passingham) previously worked on projects that include Coraline, the Corpse Bride, Paranorman, Isle of Dogs, Frankenweenie, Kubo, and Chicken Run.

-Besides Netflix, it was produced by the Henson company (always a good sign when you’re doing anything with puppets) and ShadowMachine, who have produced a lot of Adult Swim shows including Robot Chicken, Moral Orel, and Tuca and Bertie, as well as the Netflix original BoJack Horseman.

-Del Toro was inspired to make this adaptation due to the similarities he’d always noticed between the original Pinocchio story and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Both are about a man-made character’s relationship with his father/creator, and his attempts to understand what it means to be human. This inspiration is why the film takes on a gothic feel at times.

-the movie is over 10 years in the making. Del Toro announced the project in 2008 and production began in 2012, but it went into development hell and no further updates were made for several years. Del Toro has described it as his passion project, saying "I've wanted to make this movie for as long as I can remember.”

-the backdrop of Mussolini’s Italy was intended to show how Pinnochio was able to find his own humanity and will in a time where everyone else was acting like a blindly obedient puppet. Del Toro wanted to deviate from the original book’s themes of obeying authority by making his Pinocchio virtuous for questioning the rules and forging his own set of morals. (Also if you know anything about Del Toro, the guy likes to dunk on fascism.)

-Del Toro didn’t feel the need to have Pinocchio become flesh-and-blood at the end of the movie, saying all you need to be a real human is to behave like one.

I was lucky enough to see this movie in 35 mm in a movie theatre on Thanksgiving weekend. If there are any movie theatre showings near you and you’re in a position to be able to attend them, I would totally recommend it especially if you can go with loved ones. It was a gorgeous, heartwarming, and magical movie to experience on a big screen and perfect for the late fall/winter holiday season.

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crotchety-old-blogger · 1 year

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Too Old to Handle

Has anybody noticed in today’s Hollywood that there's barely anyone over the age of 50 that has a supporting role, let alone in a leading role? (I said barely, not never)

Where are the old wise people with grey hair and wrinkly faces pointing in some direction, and utters words of advice and makes you bowl of hot soup before you venture out? I miss that.

I don't care to see in every, single movie or TV show, some snot-nosed fourteen-year-old or seventeen-year-old "actor" pretending to lead a resistance on whatever planet; or some twenty-year-olds masquerading as teenagers thinking they know, huh-huh, everything. STOP IT! STOP! IT! If I didn't know better, I might conclude that the entertainment business has a child fetish.

And don't get me started on today's soundtracks. I never would have thought in my lifetime we went from the great Sir John Williams to the pathetic Hanz Zimmer. Let me be clear on this: Zimmer does not compose music. PERIOD! Zimmer is nothing but a glorified DJ that records and combines whale queefs and screaming voices into something that he calls "music". Then the movie producers say, "Wow! What a great soundtrack!" There are some who so "this is music evolving." Uh, no. If anything, it's the devolving of music. Also, nobody wants to hire a big name like Williams anymore—he's too expensive, but his music is quality. (Not forgetting other quality composers e.g. Danny Elfman, Alan Silvestri, and the late James Horner) For Zimmer, he puts together some random percussions and synthesizers, never composing ANY memorable themes.

And what is with all this CGI lighting? I can tell that the actors are in a different place because no amount of careless CGI lighting will ever fool me. Rather it takes me OUT of the movie, having me think "I thinking I could have done better." There is no longer art behind setting up a scene. I can tell. It looks like I'm watching a live-action film set in photoshop. What's shameful is that the producers don't care anymore, which makes sense because 90% of the audience that goes to the movies are usually stoned out of their minds; so they go back and get concessions, they finish and go back and get more concessions, they finish, so they go back and get concessions, they finish and so they go back and get more concessions. Sounds like someone's getting rich at the theater, and it ain't any of us.

If I'm not getting quality from a movie, I don't think tickets should be one flat rate. Not at all. Something from the mind of Steven Spielberg or David Lynch—$20. Something like 2 Fast 2 Furious—$5.

Now, I feel that some of you are pulling away with the last comment. But seriously, there is no real story in the Fast and Furious movies, just a bunch of festering drivers who seem to be constantly constipated, so they race to the nearest toilet. Just look at the title itself. There's going to be a bunch of kids who are going to think that's how one spells "too". Then they're going to think it's okay to drag race down an empty highway at night, and it is NOT! PEOPLE WITH A LIFE SLEEP! I don't need to hear brainless bucketheads burn rubber at all hours of the night. Forget calling the cops, they're too busy finding new things to do with their doughnuts' hole.

And the school teachers can't teach children anything because the parents are like "You should not be correcting my child, let him spell how he wants!" Teachers are not paid enough; they are constantly being treated like shit, and they also are trying to be brave despite the reality that one of the twelve-year-olds students might have brought their uncle's AK-47 to class. Well, what do you expect? No one told him that was WRONG! "No, we don't use words like 'wrong' and 'bad' and 'no'. Those are negative words, and we avoid to them in Patrick's childrearing. We tend to say 'yes' and other positive words." Seriously? I think a lot of teachers would agree with me in saying, "F**k you, Serenity! And you childrearing, bullshit nonsense!"

I don't know why, they always talk about how education is important. You've heard the TV announcer, "Education is the most important thing for a child." Yeah, it is. So why not have the city or school owners—y'know, the wealthy men you rarely see—FIX IT!

Oh, that's right. It won't matter, because their wealthy child goes to a private school with other wealthy halfwits who could do some halfwit damage in life without half trying. But they will NEVER take the blame because money always gets them out of trouble. So why would they financially help people whom they see as inferior because we're poor.

Uuuuuuh, whew. I think I may have shared too much. Whoa! I've been typing away like crazy. Well, hope you liked this. Or maybe not. I don't care. You like it, good. Don't that's okay too. Respond with a rude message—you're getting blocked.