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inspector-montoya-fox · 10 months

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i was thinking in the shower about how things would have turned out had Bentley managed to break into the Cooper Vault without needing to recruit anyone. for starters, there wouldn't be a Sly 3 lol... i mean Sly and Bentley would definitely have gone after Murray so An Opera of Fear and Rumble Down Under would have happened i guess but for the sake of the post let's say they wouldn't have asked the Guru to join the gang. so no Netherlands and no China meaning no Penelope and no Panda King, and by extent no Dimitri because of no deal in Netherlands.

removing Sly 3's secondary characters kinda puts things into perspective in terms of character development. in Sly 1 we collected Thievius Racconus pages as we got closer to the truth and Sly learned new tricks and honed his skills in preparation for his encounter with Clockwerk. Sly 2 was just a traumatic trainwreck altogether like SP really put the gang through the wringer idk how they survived.

in Sly 3 this development is brought about through the secondary characters and their relationships with the protagonists. Penelope drives a wedge between Sly and Bentley forcing the latter to muster up the courage and step outside of Sly's shadow for a minute; Panda King's return demands Sly to mature and let go of the past; Dimitri tests the gang's patience; both Penelope and Panda King contribute to the Murray van storyline which kinda exhibited that yea! in the long run, Murray might be the dummy of the group as Dr Michael chastises at the end but he is definitely the heart of the gang.

but if all this never happened then how would Honour Among Thieves play out? funny thing is, even if they recruited the extended gang, shit hit the fan almost immediately upon arrival so i'm assuming the same would apply if the original trio had tried to pull it off on their own? no? as a sidenote: i'm also thinking that Sly 2 is the only game in the series that kinda had like the aspect of urgency if you think about it. someone stole the Clockwerk parts and they were going to rebuild him so tick tock bitch. Sly 1 and 3 however don't really have that sense of time pressure. the Fiendish Five were sitting on their asses for literally a decade before Sly popped up for the pages and don't even get me started on the possibility of Dr Michael managing to crack the Cooper Vault open like what a loser lmao. with this in mind, Bentley would have the time to develop his tech in order to do the tasks that the extended gang members would have done. i mean if he managed to build a time machine surely he could make his tech waterproof ?

so the entire heist goes according to plan with the possibility of them tripping that stupid alarm still at play. i never intended to do a full play by play "what if...?" of Honour Among Thieves but suffice to say Carmelita would 100% show up to save the day even with the change of context. i think the most important change would be that Bentley's run-in with Dr Michael would go down very differently. i don't think he'd defend Sly; i actually think Dr Michael would get to him even without Penelope's introduction because she only brought out feelings that were brewing deep in Bentley's subconscious (especially after the end of Sly 2, becoming disabled for a cause that was never his and that dedication arguably never being reciprocated). he might not have shown it in the moment but i think that conversation would significantly shape Bentley's character and if Sly got out of the episode unscathed, the gang would probably split. leaving the Guru behind would also give Murray the motive to go his own way.

it's clear that Sly 3's secondary characters helped the gang get over some unspoken issues they had between them, even if they got resolved behind each other's backs (because Bentley only vents to Penelope about his feelings and doesn't go straight to Sly, who, in turn, doesn't even know there's an issue to begin with). personally, and i feel kinda stupid for suggesting something so simplistic in relation to how this game would be better like 7-8 years after being on this godforsaken website and analysing it to the point where it feels like the bible, i feel like one more episode would help really flesh out the problems the gang had. we never get direct acknowledgment or accountability from Sly and it feels like he's too focused on entering the Vault to care about Bentley's feelings, or anyone else's for that matter (there's like 7 anon asks gathering dust in my inbox about why i have anti-Sly sentiment and that number better not go up). all it takes is a 'you know what guys? you should enter the vault with me after literally sticking by me since childhood and risking your lives fighting my own battles' and they shoot up the van like it's a guest on Wendy.

Sly 2's ending proved that the protagonists aren't Riverdale characters who just go through weekly life-threatening events without any guilt, trauma and anxiety; and then in Sly 3 we get high-stake situations akin to the ClockLa saga, like the Dragon snatching Penelope, but because it's crammed between episodes instead of games, the characters come out of it seemingly unfazed. the complete lack of recognition for all of this makes it seem like Sly is an awful leader for the gang. like i think Penelope would genuinely snap when she got taken hostage by LeFwee after the dragon thing.

i think the internal politics of the gang could have been explored way better but i understand that juggling that and the introduction of one new character per episode would be impossible. i'd love to see Bentley confronting Sly, Murray realising that he's getting more support about what matters to him (the van, the Guru's wellbeing) from the literal strangers they've recruited than his best friends, Sly realising that his lack of involvement in the gang's friendship is what turned Dr Michael against ConnEr. maybe Honour Among Thieves could have been a two-parter honestly. maybe the Dimitri Dr Michael piranha hybrid bossfight should have never made the cut.

#kings of fucking subtlety pulling up to a months-in-the-works heist in a pirate ship #i love these games #sly cooper #it's been so long since i've posted an essay post omfg #this one's chunky too like loads to discuss babes #other notes:#it's not like Sly learned how to fly a plane because of Penelope so he could still disable Kaine island's security right?#and also:#it feels like Bentley could have easily found someone other than Panda King but he just did it out of spite like out of pure pettiness #and that's just so deeply rotten like what was even the thought process behind that?#steal the girl that doesn't even know i exist? i'll force you to reconcile with the guy who killed your dad #wtf bentley

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faeriescorpio · 3 months

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Top 5 MarckCU characters and why along with ur fav series so far? :000

The Host - I just think he's neat. We don't have much of him personality wise that isnt fanon rather than canon but I adore him anyway. I've done wayyy too much self-shipping when it comes to the Host. I think we would hate each other but sometimes its fun to be black for someone, to use the homestuck terminology. Kinda guy who I would get into a fistfight with and then we would sit down and watch a movie together.

Head Engineer Mark - I am an insecure hopeless romantic so when we got a guy who would die a million times for us and never think a bad thought about us I adored him immediately. Then he DID turn on us and I was soooo distraught. Then he realized it was all his fault and when back to practically worshipping us. The Captain could've turned EVIL and KILLED EVERYONE at the end of ISWM 2 and our head engineer would never stray from our side. He is Obsessed. I should continue my fic where the Captain goes insane but Mark sticks by our side.

Darkiplier - Imagine a guy(?) who is obsessed with us. Yes, yes, head engineer Mark, I know. Now imagine the OTHER guy. When ADWM first came out I watched it and my first ending was the chocolate ice cream. i was genuinely afraid of darkiplier. like i had nightmares. WKM definitely changed my attitude about this guy.

Yancy - Arguably one of the top 4 most emotionally aware egos. I need more of him. I would stay in prison for him but I would also break him OUT of prison. He dances AND he sings.

those four were EASY choices for me but oohhhh who would I add to this list? Jim? Last year I would've said Google or Yandere. If it's MarkCU in general I'd say Mack. I hate Mack. I love Mack. I want to bite him. I want him to become increasingly concerned for my well-being.

WAIT OMG How could I have forgotten. Stan the Water Man. Stan is my number five no shot. I loved those videos but since he's in Space he's part of the MarkCU so Stan the Water Man. I was about to say Jim but Stan is a lot like Jim I can't explain it.

Fav series: I cannot deny the effort and beauty put into ISWM 1 and 2, or the emotional pull of WKM. The superb acting of WMLW. The fun of ADWM. I think I was most hype for ISWM, I watch WKM the most, but my favorite series was A Heist With Markiplier. My first ending was on Caveman Mat's island, and I about burst into tears when Mark pulled us out of the ocean after the storm. I really love choose-you-own-adventures, and ISWM's all-choices-lead-to-the-same-ending kind of takes a bit of fun out of it. So Heist is my favorite.

#thank you for the ask!!#^w^#jim! no yandere. aaaaggghhhh i wouldve said google two years ago. and i love yandere. but jim is classic!!!!!#i draw eric and write him a LOT but he is not top five.#i know i ship that dr iplier x host x yancy and ive got 2 out of 3 here on the list and that dr iplier is seriously underrrated #however dr iplier does not make the list #iswm #wkm #in space with markiplier #who killed markiplier #a heist with markiplier #ahwm #markiplier #markiplier egos #MACK!!! (bites him)#secret fun fact: wilford used to be my favorite and then i watched wkm and now wilford is like. wayyyy down on my list #silly funny man versus completley tormented insane man. its different vibes now #wait no seriously thanks for the ask ebcause now i want to draw and write.

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amee-racle-ofmyown · 4 months

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I don't wanna be perfect (I just want to be good enough for you)

Heist!Mark x reader (can be read as platonic or romantic) | Words: 694

You are curled into your heist partner's side in the living room area of your shared base, mindlessly scrolling on your phone, when he asks you something out of the blue.

‘Do you think– are we… good people?’

You turn to face him, shutting off your phone screen, and raise an eyebrow.

‘Who are you and what've you done with Mark?’

‘Come on, I'm serious.’ You give him a baffled look and he sighs. ‘I never really thought about it all that much, I guess. I think I always just sorta accepted it? I sorta fell into this profession because it was fun and it paid the bills — I mean, don't get me wrong, I love what we do. I love the thrill, and I love the satisfaction of getting away with our loot scott-free. But I dunno… Recently I've been thinking. Is it bad that I enjoy this job? Am I a good person?’

It's a fair question, you suppose. You understand where he's coming from, but you're sure you both knew what you were getting into when you started this lifestyle, and once you've been doing it for so long it's hard to even begin to think of doing anything else, let alone the difficulty that would come with becoming an honest, working citizen without getting caught and sentenced for your many transgressions.

‘I mean, we're thieves, Mark — regular, organised criminals. We're not exactly heroes’ — you jab him lightly with your elbow — ‘as much as you like to act like one.’

He chuckles at that. There is a light-hearted smile on your face that is soon replaced with a more thoughtful expression. You cast your gaze away from him as you continue.

‘I think good and bad are kinda relative and subjective. The average person probably wouldn’t consider us good people, and yeah, I can't say we're necessarily good, but I don't think we're terrible either. I mean, I wouldn't want to actually hurt anyone. Would you?’

‘No,’ he says quickly. ‘No… Unless someone gave me a reason to.’

‘Well, that's fair. I think that's the same for most people.’

You pause, fiddling with the hem of his sweater. You don't recall at what point your fingers involuntarily found the edge of his clothes, but the familiar texture grounds you. ‘Yeah, we might not be good people per se, but I don't think that makes us bad people exactly, either.’ You meet his eyes again, with all the earnestness you can. ‘I don't think you are, at least,’ you add softly.

‘I don't think you are either,’ he says, and his tone is gentle but unwavering. You feel warm.

You offer a good-natured smile, attempting to turn the conversation in a lighter direction.

‘You know, in our defence, we mostly rob museums and super rich people. I don't think we need much justification to steal from the hella rich, and most stuff in museums is stolen anyway,’ you say matter-of-factly.

He laughs, loud and genuine, and the sound only warms you further.

‘Y'know, you're not wrong…’

‘But seriously,’ you ask, ‘what got you thinking about all this?’

‘I…’ he starts, voice low again, hesitant. ‘I don't know.’

But he does know, he thinks to himself, as he looks into your eyes. He often finds himself wondering what kind of person he is in those eyes.

It's you, he thinks. It's all you.

You break the entirely-too-long and yet far-too-short period of eye contact in favour of returning to your former position, nestled into his side. You lean into him and he places an arm around you, his thumb gently brushing wherever it can reach. You don't think all that much of it, but he's warm and comfortable and safe, and the way you fit together feels like home.

He thinks you're probably right; the idea of a good or bad person isn't something set in stone. And his and your standards measured against anyone else's would certainly differ.

But he finds that he doesn't really care what anyone else thinks of him.

As long as his best friend, his partner, still likes him enough to keep sticking around, that's enough for him.

#title based on lyrics from 'i wanna hold ur hand' by kelseydog #disclaimer I'm not endorsing stealing lmao #(y/n may have a valid point or two tho)#I thought it would be fun to get in their heads a bit and examine how they might view their own integrity #it's very slight but there's a bit of a self depracating tone underlying their lack of care #for the law and others' opinions of what's morally okay #ultimately they probably know this isn’t ideal #I think I'm starting a pattern in my fics and it's crime partners' couch conversations #I was trying to finish another requested fic but it's already much later than my posting time #and I'm not done yet.#so for tonight have this shorter thing I wrote‚ to tide you over til tomorrow #I hope you heist stans out there will enjoy this food (the next one is about the crime buds too)#this ship is so <3 I love them #rotating them in my brain rn like rotisserie chicken #sorry captaineer content is taking a short backseat for now #heist mark is making me silly #amee writes #ahwm #a heist with markiplier #heist mark #heist!mark #heist!mark x y/n #heist mark x y/n #heist mark x reader #heist!mark x reader #markiplier connected universe #markiplier cinematic universe #markiplier egos #markiplier cu #partners in crime

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jonny-b-meowborn · 9 months

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Okay I've been thinking about the lil cute therian fic I've been writing, and I think I know how I wanna end it and it's like. Very much self indulgent not really accurate to the mechanisms canon and way too cute but the thing is I can do whatever I want forever so I think Im gonna do it (I'm only like idk 1/3 done tho so don't get too excited fjdnfjndn)

#okay like im gonna spoil it in tags #this is my warning there will be nothing else in the tags #so basically in the fic youre a dog that got kidnapped by the mechs with a bunch of your coworkers #a heist just for fun and to kill some random people out of boredom #but you survive on the ship bc you hide #but then Tim finds you and at first jonny tells him to kill you like the rest #but tim is like. hold on. that person is not a human i dont think. i don't wanna kill an animal #and jonny is like this is stupid. but whatever. were gonna put it back on earth were not keeping it timothy #and thats pretty much all i have for now #but then you just kinda. hang around on the aurora while youre going back to earth and you meet a few of the other mechs #they all have different reactions to you but in the end everyone somewhat accepts that youre a dog #and i wasnt sure how to end it #one option was to just go back home and be done with this silly little adventure and go back to living a normal life as a person #but youre happy you finally met some people that accept you for what you are even if for a moment #the other option would be to stay on the ship kind of as a pet #but that felt a bit off to me because youre not a literal dog youre a human that is a dog yknow. and that feels a bit too. idk weird #but i think i got the solution #what if. you get mechanized #and your human body is replaced with an anthro dog. so you can still be a thinking person you were but with a body that makes sense #like kind of like a permanent fursuit but more metal #and yeah that doesnt make much sense in the mechs canon like thats too nice of them and ill have to think of a good reason for that #but wouldnt that be just. so cute #like thats honestly the dream #i love robots and i am a dog so. if i could get mechanized to be a steel furry id agree right away like not even think about it #kind of like in that one love robots and death episodes with the kitsune #that scene where she transforms into a robot fox is my favorite in the whole ep i think and it honestly gives me species euphoria #so yeah i think im gonna ignore canon for that one but and give the reader/mc a sweet happy ending #and now youre a doggy pirate in space surrounded by people who are okay with that!!! isnt that the best #therian #bee buzz

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vladimpale · 1 year

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haikyuu fic rec

this mainly consists of rare pairs. these are only the ones i bookmarked in the last few months, because my dumbass didn't think to save the fics they liked before. here somewhere are also series and i highly recommended them, 10/10 would cry again. this got really long so the list is under the cut

bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tsukishima

Stupid boys talking and maybe some smut by Smokey310

series | works: 9 | 225k

Our own little magic by blueberrytoast19

incomplete(3/?) | 9k | Teen And Up Audiences

"Nature has a way of beautifully reminding us what man seems to have forgotten. We were created out of love, to be loved and to love one another" A magic and madness filled Witch au, in which Tsukishima finds everything he wasn't looking for and more, deep in the woods.

From One Ocean to the Other by insertsomethingwitty, L_E_D

incomplete(10/11) | 53k | Explicit

“He’s cheating! Don’t you care about the—the integrity of the game?” “Oh, I think integrity left this car a long time ago." Or: four pining idiots decide the best way to get over each other is to spend multiple days locked in a car together.

The Devils Downstairs by OhNoItsOikawa

complete(42/42) | 101k | Teen And Up Audiences

The people living below Tsukishima Kei's new apartment just so happen to be godless heathens who are enjoying their twenties maybe a little too much, and he just so happens to be the newest recruit into their cult of Nonsense and Shenanigans. Everyone is a little in love with each other but none of them have realized it yet, and Oikawa Tooru dresses horribly.

It might be crazy (I do it anyway) by normalfault

complete(5/5) | 14k | Teen And Up Audiences

“Can we make out on the beach?” Bokuto asked excitedly. Akaashi groaned, hitting his head against the chair in front of him. The lady in the seat turned around to glare at him, and he apologized profusely. “Why are you asking that now?” Akaashi asked weakly. Kuroo laughed loudly, drawing looks from around them. Akaashi was going to die here. He hoped the plane crashed. --- 4 times Tsukki gets drugged and 1 time it finally happens to someone else

oikawa/kuroo/akaashi

Tales of the Volleyball Sexual as told by Akaashi Keiji by lilvamp23

incomplete(5/?) | 9k | Mature

Keiji questioned a lot of things in his life. What does Crochet and Chill really mean? Was it supposed to include copious amounts of food, sketchy websites, and his entire wardrobe displayed all over his bed? He doesn’t think so. Why did he even let Shirofuku into his home? She’s a menace to his mental health. Does he find Kuroo attractive? Probably, he supposes that he is nice to look at and nice to talk to. Does that mean he wants to have sex with him? He doesn’t know. How is he supposed to know that? He just wants to go back to crocheting his little owls without contemplating the meaning of his life. Please and thank you.

akaashi/bokuto/kuroo

Pyriform Silk by Depths

incomplete(7/?) | 17k | General Audiences

Akaashi had enough trouble just trying to exist as an empath. Going to university and needing a place to stay was just another hurdle. At least the roommate offer he found online wasn't made by humans. He would far rather live with whatever flavor of supernatural his two new roommates were going to be than risk trying to live with a human.

Oh Pretty Baby by avagueidea

complete(13/13) | 23k | Teen And Up Audiences

Akaashi is possibly the only reason Bokuto and Kuroo even managed to get together in the first place. Now he just has to remember that fact while he helps Bokuto balance raising his infant daughter with a long distance relationship. If only he didn't think Kuroo was absolutely perfect for Bokuto, it might not matter that he was in love with him...

sakusa/atsumu

Three Sheets to the Wind by fairycake

complete(16/16) | 117k | Mature

The last place on earth Sakusa Kiyoomi wants to be is on this godforsaken ship sailing across the seas to attend a boring science lecture, but it is a necessary evil if he wishes to avoid attending his grandmother's birthday celebrations. That is, until his ship is boarded by a band of pirates and Kiyoomi finds himself in extremely unwanted company. He can cope with most of the rambunctious crew; though they're armed to the hilt, they're relatively harmless. He cannot, however, cope with human hurricane Miya Atsumu.

a thousand winds that blow by Gray_Herring

complete(1/1) | 18k | Teen And Up Audiences

Motoya is dead, but the Earth keeps spinning. Kiyoomi is alive, and he keeps spinning, too.

Again, until it's perfect by fairycake

complete(1/1) | 18k | Teen And Up Audiences

“Or what about Ushijima?” That catches Kiyoomi’s attention, and he stops in the middle of the street to turn around and scowl at Atsumu. “What about Ushijima?” Atsumu must tilt his head back to smirk up at Kiyoomi from beneath the visor of his cap. “He’s not workin’ on quicks. You’d be a step ahead of him if ya did. He might even raise an eyebrow in surprise or somethin’ equally as scandalous.” Kiyoomi stares at him, narrows his gaze as he scrutinises Atsumu’s face, the challenge in the upturned corners of his lips. “Are you attempting to manipulate me, Miya?” he asks. “I dunno. Is it workin’?” “Kind of.” “Then yeah, I guess.” ______________________ When Kiyoomi and Atsumu accidentally pull off a minus-tempo quick during practice, Atsumu convinces Kiyoomi to practice it for the new season. It's sort of inevitable that he convinces Kiyoomi to fall in love with him too.

yahaba/kyoutani

An Equivalent Exchange by MonkWrites

complete(4/4) | 14k | Explicit

"Years ago, you promised your firstborn to a witch. Since then, despite your best efforts, you can’t seem to get laid. The witch is starting to get pretty pissed."

I (Heart) You by darkmagicalgirl

complete(1/1) | 3k | Teen And Up Audiences

When Kyoutani comes back from the dead, Yahaba is sitting on the headstone the next row over and reading a magazine.

Mixed Signals by snoqualmie

complete(1/1) | 7k | Teen And Up Audiences

Feelings are definitely a thing he’s having. Kyoutani is really sweet. He’s family oriented and he prefers novels with female leads and he’s in all honors classes. He kind of has a big head, totally has a big smile, definitely has a big heart. His eyes are nice, he’s got that dimple. Yahaba groans and rubs his fists into his eyes.

fuel to burn by knightswatch

complete(1/1) | 4k | Mature

Kentarou is coal. Kentarou does not have a diamond inside of him.

meet me at the fucking pit (and let me hold your hand) by anyadisee

complete(1/1) | 5k | Teen And Up Audiences

“Yoo-hoo~ Oh my, why the dark faces, everyone?” Oikawa asks as he walks into the room, Iwaizumi right by his heels. Kunimi, who had been looking bored the entire time, picks up the piece of paper and loudly reads the two sentences written in thick black ink and an angry-looking scrawl across its surface. “Yahaba, meet me at the lot behind the old Humanities building, 6PM. Don’t bring anyone, and don’t be late. That’s what it says.” The room falls silent once more. Then, “Holy shit, Yahaba-chan, who did you cross this time?” [in which yahaba receives a vaguely threatening letter, and kyoutani disappears from practice.]

Presentability by darkmagicalgirl

complete(1/1) | 2k | Teen And Up Audiences

“Oh for— I mean we’ll be in public,” Yahaba said. “Representing our school. We could be on TV. Our old upperclassmen might come to watch.” “Our team, not my face,” Kyoutani had pointed out, feeling very reasonable. “Your face is a part of this team!” Yahaba looked about five seconds away from stamping his heels ineffectually, or, like, putting his fist through the wall. You could never tell with that guy.

Mint and Pine by snoqualmie

complete(1/1) | 6k | Teen And Up Audiences

Yahaba yanks at Kyoutani’s uniform in the club room and ties his tie so tight after morning practice that sometimes Kyoutani thinks he’s trying to fucking strangle him.

bokuto/akaashi

run rabbit run by norio

complete(1/1) | 6k | Teen And Up Audiences

Rule #1: Don't hurt Akaashi. Rule #2: Don't taint Akaashi. Rule #3: Don't involve Akaashi. Rule #4: Don't damage Akaashi. Rule #5 (optional): Try not to destroy yourself.

cotton game by mydamantiumheart

complete(2/2) | 18k | Explicit

It starts out innocent- as innocent as it can be, at least. It only goes downhill from there. It's just that sometimes, Koutarou can't help spinning a million miles per second, and he needs someone to slow him down. Feat. nonsexual bondage + kink leading into (gradually sexual) kink exploration, Keiji helping Koutarou's brain quiet down, and stupid boys falling in love.

kuroo/tsukishima

greek tragedy by ineedmygirl

series | works: 2 | 184k

yaku/lev

Item 37 by invoked_duplicity

complete(1/1) | 2k | General Audiences

Yaku likes to keep lists. His newest list is about all the things he dislikes about a certain, very tall someone.

kuroo/daishou/mika

you can have everything, i give it willingly by eurydicees

complete(1/1) | 12k | Teen And Up Audiences

She and Suguru have been dating since they were seventeen. It’s strange, really, because she loves him, but she’s also not as mad as she should be while she watches Kuroo watch Suguru. She’s not as upset as she should be when she sees Suguru look back at him. In which Kuroo pines, Suguru refuses to acknowledge it, and Mika meddles in places she isn’t quite sure she has the right to meddle. It's not a picture perfect love, but it is theirs.

suga/daichi

in between evenings by thispieceofmind

complete(4/4) | 31k | Mature

Then, those eyes crinkle up with the perfect smile, the one Suga sees on Daichi’s face only sometimes, and Daichi adds, “I like when it’s just us.” Suga can feel it on his face that he’s grinning back, and when he sits up, too, his head spins for a moment. He places a hand on Daichi’s knee to steady himself. His lip quirks when he notes, just shy of teasingly, “It’s usually just us, Daichi.” The thing about falling in love with your best friend is that it happens so slow.

Ice Ice Baby by nastyhobbitsses

complete(1/1) | 2k | Teen And Up Audiences

confessions of a teenage volleyball captain by solyn

complete(1/1) | 14k | Teen And Up Audiences

“Is this better? Am I real enough for you yet? Am I permanent? Can you successfully objectify me, Sawamura-kun?” or: Daichi confesses... but does he really?

kuroo/akaashi

so hot you're hurting my feelings (can't deal) by flickercity

complete(1/1) | 9k | Mature

"And with that his eyes had flickered on Akaashi’s face for just a moment and the idle fleeting thought that Kuroo was maybe....sexy....had crossed Akaashi’s mind." OR Kuroo and Akaashi want to kiss each other and it gets wildly out of hand.

Line thieves by hyugapineapple

complete(1/1) | 1k | Genetal Audiences

“You’re a pain in the ass sometimes, Keiji.” Kuroo whispers with no heat in his voice, pressing his forehead against Akaashi’s. “Isn’t that my line?” “Nope!” Tetsurou chirps happily. “Don’t you know? Research says that couples tend to adopt each other’s habits over years. I have full rights to use that line now.”

Would you rather be with me? by oopsthisisqueertoo

complete(1/1) | 3k | Teen And Up Audiences

“So. Would you rather explore space or the ocean?” Akaashi crumples his eyebrows and looks over at Kuroo in the dark. Their power had gone out at the dorm, so they were laying on the living room floor under every blanket they owned. To make matters worse, it was a holiday weekend and everyone Akaashi knew had gone home, making him stuck alone with pain-in-the-ass-Kuroo-san. In the Winter. With no power. It was every fan-fic writer’s wet dream. Akaashi wanted to die. Or, me needing to get some roommate KuroAka fluff and sass out of my system.

Somehow It Works by helwolves

complete(1/1) | 3k | Explicit

Keiji looks Kuroo up and down, taking in the ridiculous red wizard robe, the knee-high boots, the sharp black lines defining his sharper eyes, the carved foam horns nestled in his wild hair. It really should not be working for him—and yet. Shenanigans behind the scenes of Final Haikyuu Quest, concerning one cameraman and one best supporting demon.

hinata/kageyama/kenma

love fills you out by joshllyman

complete(1/1) | 2k | General Audiences

Hinata bounces upstairs—literally; Kageyama is, for a moment, concerned the floor might give underneath the weight of his excitement—and into Kageyama’s room. “Come with us!” he half-shouts. Kageyama narrows his eyes. “Where and why?” Hinata rolls his eyes and smiles, like he knows Kageyama’s been listening. “We’re going to the sushi shop, Bakageyama. Me and Kenma.” Kageyama frowns. “And you want me to come along?”

#i didn't even know i shipped so many rarepairs tbh #and some of them aren't even here #anyways these are all worth a read #most of them are my favourite fics of all time #there was also a heist bakt fic i could not find #haikyuu!!#bokuaka #bokuakakurotsuki #bakt #kurotsuki #daisuga #oikuroaka #sakuatsu #kyouhaba #yakulev #kuromikashou #kagekenhina #figuring out the format of this post was a pain in the ass

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phantomuheist · 1 year

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I think it's best if I remake my docs with everything, and add one very important rule: get away from my blog if you actually support proshipping and Marushu as a romantic ship. If I find out that you're a supporter, I'm blocking you without a second thought.

#Out of Heists #seriously. i'm glad i stopped following someone because of it #it's fucking disgusting #please touch grass and think about your life if you ship them romantically

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fishsticksart · 1 year

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Ludolf Backhuysen, Ships in a Stormy Sea off a Coast, circa 1700-1705, oil on canvas

#some art i saw with ratatouille #ME ME ME WHEN I HAVE MY OWN ART HEIST BABY MOMENT #CAUSE IM JAMES AND HES REGULUS #AND AND AND WE WENT ON A DATE TO THE ART MUSEUM SO I ALREADY CALLED IT THAT IT WAS LIKE AHB #AND AND AND THEN WE SAW THIS PAINTING CALLED SHIPS IN A STORMY SEA #AND AND AND ITS LIKE OUR GATHERING STORM OF A SHIP ON TURBULENT SEAS #AND JAMES AND REGULUS SAW GATHERING STORM WHILE ON A DATE AT THE ART MUESUM #THE MOST EMBARRASSING PART IS THAT I TOLD RATATOUILLE THIS #AND I EVEN BROUGHT UP A PHOTO OF GATHERING STORM #but like it's ok cause now hes also agreed to read art heist baby :))))#and he also listens to me talk about the marauders all the time #so like really im just living out my art heist baby fantasy and everything is wonderful #im just winning at life idk what else to say #ncma

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blujayonthewing · 2 years

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the tricky thing about pirates is that when you get down to it it’s really hard to get around the fact that they are, like, actual bad guys

#if you take the 'violently attacking other ships for their cargo and raiding port towns' out of pirates you literally no longer have pirates #Golden Age Pirates are very romanticized and beloved (I am not excluding myself!)#but if you're gonna try to frame them as good guys you're almost explicitly backed into the corner of #'they're fighting other pirates but those pirates are mean' or 'they're fighting the navy'#or you just kinda don't examine them too closely at all which happens a lot with pirates that aren't at the center of the story lol #like! even in most of the most famous pirate fiction the pirates ARE the bad guys!#WHICH LIKE... isn't even necessarily a bad thing or a hurdle per se in traditional narrative settings #I was just thinking about this re: gnome pirates oneshot/ possibly miniseries gfdhjkdgfhd #like... it's not an Evil Campaign I think we're all sort of playing it in the same you know romanticized pirate spirit #but that does make it a little awkward thinking about possible future ventures lmao #'you outran some pirate bounty hunters and explored a ghost ship!' oh cool! what else do pirates do :)#it's not really like thieves where you can do like... 'oh a sexy museum heist that feels impersonal' or 'I only steal from rich bastards'#with pirates it really feels like. they're gonna be attacking and sinking ships to steal all their shit. like that's the whole thing lmao #don't get me wrong Indigo is chaotic neutral I know perfectly well how they got here and where their morals lie #it's just sort of a... you know... how many Fun Wacky Gnomish Adventures :) can we actually do while avoiding doing actual piracy lol #like I'm not against a 'this one shot is about raiding a merchant ship' it just feels like something people usually avoid w pirate protags #we're bad guys! we're textually bad guys! it's weird to reconcile with the fact that 'being evil' isn't afaik the usual appeal of pirates

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wolfsgravity · 2 years

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there's just something about him

#ship: heist out #i love this idiot

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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 months

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Amazon's bestselling "bitter lemon" energy drink was bottled delivery driver piss

Today (Oct 20), I'm in Charleston, WV at Charleston's Taylor Books from 12h-14h.

For a brief time this year, the bestselling "bitter lemon drink" on Amazon was "Release Energy," which consisted of the harvested urine of Amazon delivery drivers, rebottled for sale by Catfish UK prankster Oobah Butler in a stunt for a new Channel 4 doc, "The Great Amazon Heist":

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-great-amazon-heist

Collecting driver piss is surprisingly easy. Amazon, you see, puts its drivers on a quota that makes it impossible for them to drive safely, park conscientiously, or, indeed, fulfill their basic human biological needs. Amazon has long waged war on its employees' kidneys, marking down warehouse workers for "time off task" when they visit the toilets.

As tales of drivers pissing – and shitting! – in their vans multiplied, Amazon took decisive action. The company enacted a strict zero tolerance policy for drivers returning to the depot with bottles of piss in their vans.

That's where Butler comes in: the roads leading to Amazon delivery depots are lined with bottles of piss thrown out of delivery vans by drivers who don't want to lose their jobs, which made harvesting the raw material for "Release Energy" a straightforward matter.

Butler was worried that he wouldn't be able to list his product on Amazon because he didn't have the requisite "food and drinks licensing" certificates, so he listed his drink in Amazon's refillable pump dispenser category. But Amazon's systems detected the mismatch and automatically shifted the product into the drinks section.

Butler enlisted some confederates to place orders for his drink, and it quickly rocketed to the top of Amazon's listings for the category, which led to Amazon's recommendation engine pushing the item on people who weren't in on the gag. When these orders came in, Butler pulled the plug, but not before an Amazon rep telephoned him to pitch him turning packaging, shipping and fulfillment over to Amazon:

https://www.wired.com/story/amazon-let-its-drivers-urine-be-sold-as-an-energy-drink/

The Release Energy prank was just one stunt Butler pulled for his doc; he also went undercover at an Amazon warehouse, during a period when Amazon hired an extra 1,000 workers for its warehouses in Coventry, UK, in a successful bid to dilute pro-union sentiment in his workforce in advance of a key union vote:

https://jacobin.com/2023/10/the-great-amazon-heist-oobah-butler-review

Butler's stint as an Amazon warehouse worker only lasted a couple of days, ending when Amazon recognized him and fired him.

The contrast between Amazon's ability to detect an undercover reporter and its inability to spot bottles of piss being marketed as bitter lemon energy drink says it all, really. Corporations like Amazon hire vast armies of "threat intelligence" creeps who LARP at being CIA superspies, subjecting employees and activists to intense and often illegal surveillance.

But while Amazon's defensive might is laser-focused on the threat of labor organizers and documentarians, the company can't figure out that one of its bestselling products is bottles of its tormented drivers' own urine.

In the USA, the FTC is suing Amazon for its monopolistic tactics, arguing that the company has found ways to raise prices and reduce quality by trapping manufacturers and sellers with its logistics operation, taking $0.45-$0.51 out of every dollar they earn and forcing them to raise prices at all retailers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/25/greedflation/#commissar-bezos

The Release Energy stunt shows where Amazon's priorities are. Not only did Release Energy get listed on Amazon without any quality checks, the company actually nudged it into a category where it was more likely to be consumed by a person. The only notice the company took of Release Energy was in its logistics and manufacturing department – the part of the business that extracts the monopoly rents at issue in the FTC case – which tracked Butler down in order to sell him these services.

The drivers whose piss Butler collected don't work directly for Amazon, they work for a Delivery Service Partner. These DSPs are victims of a pyramid scheme that Amazon set up. DSP operators lease vans and pay to have them skinned in Amazon livery and studded with Amazon sensors. They take out long-term leases on depots, and hire drivers who dress in Amazon uniforms. Their drivers are minutely monitored by Amazon, down to the movements of their eyeballs.

But none of this is "Amazon" – it's all run by an "entrepreneur," whom Amazon can cut loose without notice, leaving them with unfairly terminated employees, outstanding workers' comp claims, a fleet of Amazon-skinned vehicles and unbreakable facilities leases:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/17/revenge-of-the-chickenized-reverse-centaurs/

Speaking to Wired, Amazon denied that it forces its drivers to piss in bottles, but Butler clearly catches a DSP dispatcher telling drivers "If you pee in a bottle and leave it [in the vehicle], you will get a point for that" – that is, the part you get punished for isn't the peeing, it's the leaving.

Amazon's defense against the FTC is that it spares no effort to keep its marketplace safe. As Amazon spokesperson James Drummond says, they use "industry-leading tools to prevent genuinely unsafe products being listed." But the only industry-leading tools in evidence are tools to bust unions and screw suppliers.

In her landmark Yale Law Review paper, "Amazon's Antitrust Paradox," FTC Chair Lina Khan makes a brilliant argument that Amazon's alleged benefits to "consumers" are temporary at best, illusory at worst:

https://www.yalelawjournal.org/note/amazons-antitrust-paradox

In Butler's documentary, Khan's hypothesis is thoroughly validated: here's a company extracting hundreds of billions from merchants who raise prices to compensate, and those monopoly rents are "invested" in union-busting and countermeasures against investigative journalists, while the tools to keep you from accidentally getting a bottle of piss in the mail are laughably primitive.

Truly, Amazon is the apex predator of the platform era:

https://pluralistic.net/ApexPredator

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/20/release-energy/#the-bitterest-lemon

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

#pluralistic #release energy #channel 4 #amazon #corporate intelligence #labor #unions #amazon labor union #the great Amazon heist #catfish uk #oobah butler #delivery service partner

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vexwerewolf · 1 year

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The thing is, D&D is not a game.

I know that sounds insane, but hear me out: D&D is not a game, it is a games console. You don't actually "play D&D." You play "Dragon Heist" or "Tomb of Annihilation" or "Ghosts of Saltmarsh" or "your GM's homebrew campaign" or "the plot of Critical Role Season 1 reconstructed from memory" on D&D.

For quite a long while now - possibly literal decades - D&D hasn't even been the best games console, but it's been "the one everyone knows about" and "the one my friends have" and in fact it's "the one whose name is almost synonymous with the entire medium of TTRPGs," like how "Nintendo" or "Playstation" could just mean "games console" to people who didn't understand games consoles. They might not have heard of a "tabletop roleplaying game," but most people have heard of "Dungeons & Dragons."

For this extended metaphor, D&D is Nintendo back in the 90s, or Playstation in the 2000s. Sometimes you say "oh let's go to my house and play Nintendo" or "c'mon dude I wanna play Playstation" but you're not actually playing Nintendo or Playstation, you're playing Resident Evil or Super Mario Bros or Jurassic Park or Metal Gear Solid or whatever on a Nintendo or a Playstation.

Now, this metaphor is going to get even more tortured, but remember how when the PS2 and the original X-Box came out, they used a standardised DVD format, but the Nintendo console in that generation, the Gamecube, used discs but they were this proprietary tiny little disc format that they had control over? That essentially meant that it was really difficult to make third party titles for the Gamecube that did literally anything that Nintendo didn't want them to do, and also essentially gave Nintendo an even greater ability to skim money off the top of any sales?

So that must've seemed like a smart business decision in their heads. But the PS2 and the X-Box used DVDs. This was a standardized format which gave Microsoft and Sony way less control over who made games for their consoles, but that actually turned out to be a good thing for gaming, because it meant that the breadth of games that you could play on their consoles was massively increased even if some of them were games Microsoft and Sony didn't really approve of. (Also it's worth nothing that the PS2 and the X-Box could just play DVDs, which meant if your household was on a budget, you didn't need a separate DVD player - your games console could do it for you! This was actually a huge selling point!)

What Wizards are currently trying to do now is kinda-sorta the equivalent of Sony suddenly announcing that the PS5 will only accept a proprietary cartridge format they hold the patent on, will control the content of and charge money for the construction of. This possibly seems like it could be a moneymaker in your head because you hold market dominance (apparently the PS5 has 30 million units shipped compared to X-Box Series X 20 million units) and so many people make games for your console, but what it actually means is game devs and publishers will abandon your product. If it takes so much more work, the scope of what they're allowed to do is so much more limited and they're going to make less money off of it, they just won't bother. They'll go make games for the X-Box or PC instead.

To use another computer metaphor, D&D is Windows - it might not be the best system but it's the system most people are familiar with and so it gets the most stuff made for it, but there's is an upper limit on the bullshit people will take before they decide fuck it and get an Apple or learn how Linux works.

TTRPG systems are a weird product because you're not selling people a game, you're selling people a method to play a game. All the actual games are created by the community - even prewritten campaigns needs to be executed via a game master. Trying to skim money off the community will mean they'll eventually give up on you.

#open gaming license #dungeons and dragons #ogl #ogl 1.1 #opendnd #wizards of the coast #one dnd #d&d #dnd #tabletop gaming #tabletop roleplaying games #ttrpgs

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insert-witty-user-name-here · 10 months

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Random Plot Points

A little about me as a writer, I love daydreaming about adventure stories. I usually know the general set up and larger plot points but oftentimes struggle with the how, how do characters get from point A to point B.

So, I made a list of random challenges for my characters that I look at when I'm stuck.

Sharing in case helpful to others! (intended for adventure, sci-fi, fantasy stories)

characters are delayed/blocked/experience a natural disaster (storm, fire, flood, avalanche, earthquake, epidemic, etc) (BONUS and forced to take a detour from the original path)

character(s) is trapped (quick sand, fall through ice, in room filling with poison, on sinking ship, in a trash compactor on the Death Star, etc) (BONUS- fall into hidden room and discover something)

characters go to a festival/ball/party/political summit (where inevitably it all goes wrong)

character(s) overhears a secret (at bar, at party, from a whispered conversation below them in a stairway, etc)

characters are attacked by an animal or mysterious force

characters(s) caught in a mob/riot

character wins/loses something in a bet

character is brainwashed or possessed

character is stranded/lost

character is poisoned

character succumbs to injury or illness

characters are chased/ attacked by antagonists

character is captured or arrested (and needs to be rescued)

character is kidnapped and kidnappers make a demand for their release (financial ransom, exchange of information, prisoner exchange, etc)

character(s) go undercover to retrieve information

characters decide to steal something they need for their quest (weapon, magical object, money, information, etc). (BONUS- time for a well-planned heist!)

characters need to protect/ retrieve/ destroy something

characters uncover a network of spies (up to you if they're unexpected allies or antagonists)

characters discover hidden passageway, room, ruins etc that leads to an important clue

characters forced to hide from someone/something

characters need to escape

characters lured into trap set by villain (BONUS if the villain doesn't even care who wins but only goaded them to learn how a magical object works, the extent of heroes powers, emergency response system of a government, etc)

characters set trap for villain (BONUS- use someone or something important as bait) (if in Act 2, they fail)

characters reveal critical information to villain in disguise

a character is mistaken for someone else (and then is wrongfully arrested, receives information not intended for them, etc)

characters receive help (hitch a ride, get help hiding from captors, get help escaping somewhere, etc) from an unlikely new ally

characters forced to team up with an unlikely ally/ morally grey character, etc

characters learn something from simple library research (an oldie but a goodie)

characters just literally just stumble upon or witness something important (secret weapon, secret society etc)

characters uncover a secret map/ coded message on the back of an old unassuming document (time for a classic treasure hunt!)

someone escapes from prison (an old villain or an old ally) that changes the quest

someone is being blackmailed (or otherwise forced to act against the protagonists)

someone is discredited (rumor, disinformation campaign etc)

something stolen from your characters

something (document, magical object, money) turns out to be fake

OR, something unassuming turns out to have special powers or meaning

something is hacked (defense system, infrastructure, bank, private records, etc)

something critical is attacked (important bridge, port, bank/ financial system, safehouse, capitol building, character's familial home, etc.)

a computer virus is unleashed

a biological weapon is unleashed

a piece of information the characters believed was true, is false

an ancient myth turns out to be true

a secret is made public

A law is changed or a vote on a critical piece of legislation loses/wins

a political opponent wins an election/ a political ally loses an election

character(s) help a passerby (from raiders, local tyrant, beast, mystical force, etc)

characters "follow the money" and realize someone who was thought to be their ally is actually working for... (crime syndicate, villain, local tyrant etc)

#writeblr #writing tips #outlining #writing resources #writing prompts #writing #prompt list #fantasy writing

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strrwbrrryjam · 3 months

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when gamerbros get so pissy when you ship arthur and charles, and act as this ship came out of left field, its obvious to me that they haven't been paying attention to the game because like-

arthur compliments charles both so easily and constantly, charles is only ever talkative with arthur, sharing his thoughts and feelings on situations, these types of thoughts may be seen as disloyalty to the rest of the gang, but he shares them with arthur because charles knows he's safe and that arthur won't judge him.

charles talks about his past and shares his culture with arthur, he teaches arthur how to hunt with a bow and how to hunt bison, giving arthur the kill because he trusts arthur that much not to abuse it. arthur listens to charles thoroughly, taking in every word, he even shares his own past too, in hopes of making charles more comfortable.

charles can reprimand arthur and tell him off, and arthur, rightfully chastised, listens. he doesn't fight, he doesn't yell. he goes along with some (a lot of) grumbling, but he still follows charles and helps him save andreas.

charles tells arthur that he isn't as tough and dense as all that and that he doesn't believe in arthurs cruel and callous front, that he is more than that, more than what everyone else thinks arthur is. he sounds so confident about it too, as if he knows arthur better, and seems to know arthur m

charles saves arthurs life, and checks in with him after, seeing whether arthurs alright. arthur comes to charles and thanks him profusely and charles tell him that he'll do the same and he's right, arthur would.

every conversation they have in camp involves the two of them checking in with one another and arthur, again, constantly compliments him.

when going on a bank heist, charles refers to arthur as the "best man we've got," seeing arthur as someone he holds in high regard.

when arthur returns home from guarma, he hugs both abigail, and charles and the fact that he initiates it is so important, because arthur isn't one to initiate a lot of physical contact, preferring his space, so the fact that he initiates it is so significant.

when arthur asks charles whether he will ride with him, he doesn't answer with "yes," or "sure," he answers with "always," as he will always ride with arthur, no matter the time of day, if arthur asks, he'll go.

when things get bad in the gang, and survival becomes less and less certain, when going on a job, arthur tells charles to go on and get out of there if things were to get bad, valuing charles life and safety outside of his loyalty to the gang, a gang which arthur is still incredibly loyal to and is still protective of, yet he still tells charles to go on and get out of there.

and charles cuts him off, distressed with what arthur is proposing, as if the thought of abandoning arthur when a job goes wrong is simply not feasible for him.

arthur confides in charles, telling him that he's sick and dying, he's one of the few that arthur tells, he doesn't even tell dutch, being open and vulnerable with him, and charles listens and attempts to console him about his inevitable end.

even when he's actively dying, he, with some reluctant, still helps charles rescue eagle flies, he still wants to stay and help charles escort the wapiti tribe safely to canada, but charles tells arthur no, as there are still people arthur cares about in camp as if he knows that arthur would likely beat himself up if anything happens to them.

so they hug, and cling to one another, almost appearing as if they don't want to separate, as this is the last time the two of them will ever see each other alive... they separate, turning away from one another, both so clearly upset with the situation, charles sounding like he's holding back tears as he talks to the wapiti tribe.

and charles comes back, whether it be days, or weeks after. arthurs body in a state of decay, and yet he still works to find a spot he deems suitable for arthur, on top of that hill, facing the sunset- the place where arthur had always wanted to be buried so that he can reflect on all of the good times they've had. he painstakingly crafts a beautiful grave, taking great care to make sure that arthur is given a proper burial. he puts so obvious much care, and love into his burial, that just from this, you can clearly infer that these two shared an incredibly momentous relationship.

charles and arthur clearly care about each other so much, despite the short amount of time they've known each other (compared to the rest of the relationships). they hold each other in such high regard, both of them coming alive when the two of them are alone, obviously feeling more comfortable with one another than the other gang members.

viewing this connection as platonic is completely fine, but to act as if this ship came out of nowhere and that people shipping these two together are crazy for doing so is just, so downright stupid.

#iiiiiiiiits just blatant homophobia at this point. that's it. that's all there is.#i will never shut up about these two. these two clearly care about each other so much it makes me insane thinking about them #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 arthur morgan #arthur morgan #rdr2 charles smith #charles smith #rdr2 charthur #charthur #strawberry speaks

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