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beatrizamante · 2 days

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_Shooting Star

Lara is still frozen in front of her ajar apartment door, mouth slightly agape. The passing night breeze slits through her nightwear since she didn’t bother to change into something presentable. No one was expected tonight and the gang isn't used to seeing her in short tank tops and hot pants, so as long as it isn't the gang, it’s alright. The cold winds seem to caress her naked skin, but for some reason, none of that chill seeps in.

No, her eyes are locked in certain burnt umber ones. She was too concentrated when the bell rang, still calculating equations when she climbed down her just inherited new apartment, trying to find a path through the mess. Many things were bought, hanged and taken care of, but the place was still chaotic, especially because she was also transforming her old Pa’s apartment into a study for astronomy and physics. Well, as much as she could without having government funding and just enough that was still cozy to live in.

The scientist, though, was not expecting a visitor. A Mal visitor. And he does not look happy.

He still wears his diner apron, the red fabric billowing with the wind, but he’s sporting his biker pants and sleeveless gray shirt. It is a weird combination and the fact that he’s holding a delivery bag while looking at her like that makes all those times she felt weird so much more meaningful. His brunette hair is disheveled, probably from taking off his helmet in a hurry. And he had this look… Jaw set in a way that Lara could bet that, in the correct lightning, that prominent scar would show. There was no customer veneer to him today, nor the charisma he would usually sport when talking to her.

There was only an… intensity. His brows were furrowed and mouth set in a dangerous grin. She couldn’t read exactly anger, but maybe frustration? Oh, frustration! The taunt lines of his body exuded that. It wasn’t dangerous, just… very intense.

Did she do something?

Think, Lara, think!

Oh… Well, she did… avoid?... The diner… for two days.

Hey! Lara needed to think, ok? A lot of things were happening and Fernweh was loading a whole set of problems onto her. Especially these… feelings. HOW DOES ONE DEAL WITH IT? The doctor has to think. Sit with these thoughts and really think about them.

But that couldn’t make Mal this mad, could it? It was only two days.

I have no intention of letting you go.

Hm, maybe it could.

Welp, at least they could talk!... She hopes?

“Mal…”, her voice is very soft with wonder, unintentionally cutting him when he’s about to speak. The bag crinkles at his closed first, blood seeping from his fingers as the skin turns pale. Lara can almost hear his teeth grinding against his skull. Ops. “... Sorry. I didn’t ask for any deliv- I mean! I’m happy to see you, I’m just confused? Can we talk… privately? I think I left my card upstairs. ”, her face flushes, her pulse spikes so much that she worries if a heart attack is on the way. He must find something in her expression that makes him soften. She’s trying to give him an excuse to get upstairs to a private conversation. There’s no hesitation when the waiter steps forward. He’s done waiting. No excuses tonight.

“The delivery was already paid on your behalf, Charmer. Looks like your sweetest friend was worried that you vanished from the world of the living.”, he shadows her steps and, as Lara looks over her shoulder, shivers welcome her. “But I can take these up for you. After all, you’re not very good at holding onto things.”

Lara cocks her head his way, raising her brows. He’s repeating what he told her at the lake, that fateful night. Her waiter loves to recall his own sentences, doesn’t he? She chuckles slightly at that. It was a good one, after all. Lara can feel her marked left hand warm up even without his touch. She wonders what kind of magic he suffused in it, connecting them.

The door behind them is closed with a click of finality, but her mind couldn’t be giving less fucks about that.

“Don’t mind the mess, I’m still decorating and making it usable for work.”, she exhales. It has been a tiring process, especially with her mind being the mess it has been these last few days. Her heart was beating so fast. The butterflies in her stomach were enraged. MalinmyapartmentMalinmyapartment.

It takes her back to these last days. Is it what it means to care for someone romantically? Lara can say she likes likes him, but can she believe she loves him? That’s not something she can answer, but it’s undeniable how the doctor craves time with the waiter, how she loves hearing his voice or seeing him working on his bike. True, she still knows very little about him, but it makes her happy that Mal can smile, really meaning it, when they talk. When they hang out together… WHY DOES THAT MAKES HER HEART BEAT SO FAST? She’s already aware of it, alright? No need for this!

And the shivers? How does his voice seem to caress her neck whenever he speaks with her? It’s not something she can keep giving excuses for. No, it’s not the cold weather. It’s not the electromagnetic fields.

She can’t keep staring at his hands or lips anymore, it’s humiliating.

The climbing is silent, broken only by their steps and Lara’s own uncontrollable heartbeat. She feels like a rabbit, but doesn't dwell on it. Talking with him about the thoughts of these last few days is way more important now, and Lara knows it. There’s one doubt in her mind, though, that she has to voice. “Is this place safe to talk?”

Her voice sounds delicate as Mal crosses the threshold of her apartment, absorbing every detail as if he needed to burn it in his memory. The walls further from the windows sport midnight blue wallpapers filled with charting in silver and gold. The kitchen aisle was reformed and thousands of extra-small tiles that seemed to form a blue and green nebula were lightened by soft orange lamps.

The old windows were removed and now wall-sized ones showed the verdant horizon of Fernweh. Heavy gray curtains could be used if Lara needed more privacy. Her trusty telescope was set in one of the windows overlooking the more wild side of the town.

Adjacent to it, there was a whole set of modern lab equipment that Lara was still unpacking, a seemingly futuristic laboratory of calculators, monitors and sensors. Fairy lights that looked like twinkling stars were hung in perfect cuts and sizes.

The whole place seemed like either a sci-fi lab or an old astronomer’s tower.

“I took care of it, you don’t need to worry tonight, Charmer.”, his voice resonates against the walls in a way that makes her tremble. Why? Was it the husky tone? Was the fact that Lara might feel a feathering touch at her arm?

For some reason, the pressure of tonight seems way out of scale from their normal encounters. It was charged, almost short circuiting. Not insulated as it would usually be. Lara turns to her visitor. Her waiter. Her… Well.

Mal threw his unfastened apron over his shoulder. Their eyes meet and all words leave her. His eyes were almost crimson against the light. Cocking his head, Mal still has that coiled bearing, but his face transmits a very different message as she feels his electrifying focus pressed against her from head to toe. Deliberate. Slow.

Oh gods, did she have any medicine for blood pressure?

“Not tonight, huh? Did you tape the supernatural bugs in here? Well, no matter. This is good, I want to talk…”, she ever so softly takes his diner bag from his hands, trying to break eye contact. Key word trying. Focus, Lara!, “Sit, please? I’ll brew something for us. Hopefully I won’t mess up, I have no idea what’s inside these.”, Lara shut up. She brings the bag to the aisle, smelling the perfectly made parfait. She can’t wait to dig in the ripe strawberries, but this is more important.

“There’s a certain type of drink that I want to taste, Lara. I’m sure that one, you have in here.”, his flirting catches Lara a bit off guard, but she breathes in, heart skipping once more. Her vision is almost blurry from her nerves and she knows she must be a glowing red alert, but she chuckles.

“I wouldn’t put so much trust in it if I were you.”, at that, Lara brings her visitor a cup of hot chamomile tea with milk and honey. As the waiter reaches for his cup, his left hand snakes and grabs the scientist’s left one, warmth suffusing against her palm. She jolts, balancing her tea without spilling it.

“Looks like you’re learning to hold things better, Lara.”, he pulls her closer, eyes dead set on hers. Their knees bump into each other softly. “Why don’t you sit, Charmer? You’re home.”, Mal says, in a very honeyed and hushed voice.

She can’t focus like that, but she sits beside him, focusing on the half finished planetarium close to her telescope. Lara sips her tea, tilting her head towards him once he starts to test the give of her fingers. It’s weird to have this… Intimate moments with someone, but not a bad weird. She softly smiles at that. Something that always makes him stop staring so intently.

“I’m trying to make it homey, although I miss the lab… But this is not why I wanted to talk.”

“I… hm, first, I’m sorry for not showing up at the diner. Before you said something enigmatic about it, I go there mostly for you, and we both know that.”, she says, looking inside her teacup. Mal will wait for her to speak, she knows that, but still, it is hard to maintain eye contact. And those words need to be said. Lara can’t afford to be hypnotized now. “So, sorry, I needed to think. I never had to deal with this before… And second, well…”, the astrophysicist trails off, eyes automatically burrowing into Mal’s crimson ones. She shudders a breath, but holds eye contact. It is most important. “What I was thinking about was… you.”

That soft expression she spotted other times was back. A fragile hope. Eye contact is broken, but not by her, this time. He seems to tense even more, if that’s possible. With deceptive strength, he pulls her even closer. The scientist reeds the unanswered question, their sides merging with proximity as if Mal couldn’t fathom not being this close with her.

Then, his head snaps into attention until he’s hovering over her, hands still locked in that firm grip and teacup forgotten in the coffee table. Somehow, even her cup is not in her hands anymore.

Her eyes scrutinize him, stopping at his lips, and she swallows. He’s biting the bottom one, on the brink of losing control over his calm. His face exudes something consuming, devouring.

Lara takes a deep breath and searches the monitors on the walls for some reading that can distract her, so the rest can be said.

“Wait, don’t speak. Sorry, it’s just that… I need to put these into words, and I’m terrible at that. But I think I might… Well…”, he seems to approach their faces, a ground out intent in his eyes. Their noses are almost touching, which makes it impossible for Lara to try to distract herself. Not when he’s this close, warm breath touching her lips. “I don’t ‘think’, I know that I do like you. I don’t know about love, but whatever we have now? It’s nice…”, the admission leaves a little too fast, as if she was desperate to breathe. “Fernweh hasn’t been the best place to be since I came back, but I am glad to have come and met you.”, the doctor manages to push out her remaining words, unable to look anywhere else but him.

He smells like cinnamon, sweet and warm. So warm… Her eyes trail down, locking on his indulgent smile.

“And what do we have, Lara? What is this?”, he says, amused, right hand starts a tentative trail on the right side of her rib cage. Lara doesn’t remember how her hand ended up on his chest, feeling the expanse of muscle beneath his shirt, softly tracing his rib cage, counting bones unintentionally.

Such a thin layer separating them. Such a thin layer of air doing the same.

Her voice is breathless, but she manages to squeeze out some words. “I don’t know… But I want to find out.”

The final distance is cut mostly by Mal, but also by a soft pull from her right hand and the eagerness of her eyes when she looks at him like that.

As if he was one of the stars she’s so passionate about.

There’s almost no control over the ferocity of his kiss, sending shivers all over her skin, but that is barely registered as Lara is drunk on the moment. He is still holding her left hand in an unrelenting grip, while his other hand tries to settle her in place so she doesn’t climb on his lap as she wished to do subconsciously. That kiss will leave a mark. She swallows the sweetness of his mouth with abandon, mind feeble. All thoughts are drowned in a fog. A haze of heat she doesn’t understand, but doesn’t shy away either.

When Lara separates to breathe in, she can feel his smile at her soft gasps for air. A husky chuckle leaves him.

She was never kissed like that. Her face is flush, but her eyes are still set on the prize. Mal’s eyes are a deep crimson and there’s nothing in this world that could make Lara move from that place right now.

Is this the feeling of being hit by a supernova?

The woman lets the intrusive thoughts win and oh-ever-so-softly nips at his lower lip. That small action changes something in his fragile veneer of control. An almost death grip on the nape of her neck makes their lips join again with violence, pulling out a decadent moan from her throat. How can two bodies be even closer than they are now? He maneuvers her, setting a trail of kisses, sucks and nips down said throat, drinking her sensitiveness as more soft moans leave his scientist’s lips. Lara feels a bite at the junction of her neck and shoulder and that wakes her from her haze. The sensation that climbs down her lower belly makes her set her thighs together. Wide eyed and heavily flushed, the doctor stares at Mal’s almost too smug smile. “It looks like you learned your lesson well, Charmer.”

She can’t speak. Her heart is beating too fast. There’s too much blood rushing through her head. The doctor stands up suddenly, breathing in with desperation. Mal watches her, amused, even if he’s still holding her left hand in that dead-lock grip.

Ever so slightly, she eases their hold until he lets go. The smugness is exchanged by a dark expression as Lara grabs the teacups and takes them to the kitchen aisle. I can't think. I can't think! Lara you can't just attack a guy like that!

The scientist almost flees, but the waiter doesn’t wait for her to return. He gets up and remains just some steps behind her, merging their personal spaces. He doesn’t want any more distance between them. There was already enough of that for a lifetime. She's still trying to recover her breathing when he locks her between him and the aisle, intentionally so close that she doesn't have room to move. Tea cups again already out of her hands.

“Lara, look at me.”, he commands, impatient for the first time since they started this. Her eyes are unerringly drawn to his, locking in again. As it was always meant to be.

“Mal, I’m… I’m sorry! I should’ve asked first, not just…”

He has to bite down his bottom lip to avoid laughing. Of course that’s what she’s actually worried about. He’s unable to hide his smile when again, she’s hypnotized by his lips. “We can repeat that as many times as you want…”, he murmurs ever so softly. Approaching his lips to her ear, he gives her a hushed breath. “... Even more. I want all of you, Lara.”

At that, Lara bites down her bottom lip and, in a practiced movement, she sits on the aisle, but it’s Mal that grabs her face and takes her breath away, making her hold onto him as if he was the only thing in this world that could set her free. oc from @lacunafiction

#lara de armas #mal ro #the waiter #the fernweh saga #lacunafiction #one day I'll not be so obsessed #I swear #but today is not the day #slightly spicy?#Lara finally learns she likes him #Anything can be a slow burn if you're blind enough #And she is disgustingly clueless #so oblivious that hurts me #I fear for the other ROs #Imagine Lara and James?#it's like watching a terrible accident in slow motion #but I love the dynamics so much #I love writing about Lara #she's really fun

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illdothehotvoice · 4 months

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Oh now that it's 2024 and Dark Moon HD is coming out y'all better start being nice to Dark Moon I stg I do not want to see anyone talking about it being the worst Luigi's Mansion game. In this case worst does NOT equal bad dhjgkfdh.

#Maybe I'm biased she was my first Luigi's Mansion game dsghjkfdnh #and GOD I was so excited to play her qwq #She's really fun #Yes she has problems #Yes 3 took everything I love about Dark Moon and the original game and made a beautiful merge of the two #But my god Dark Moon is so special to me #Also idk I by no means think the separate levels and mansions was a GOOD change #But it does make playing it in short bursts as a portable title easier idk fgjkfdnh #It's also been a criticism of mine but I can see the appeal #OH MY GOD I DIDN'T EVEN CONSIDER WE'RE GETTING HD KING BOO JUMPSCARE LMFAO DGIJDFH #I feel like I'm the only person on this planet who cares about the Dark Moon King Boo jumpscare but I think it's really funny #They really put a jumpscare in a Luigi's Mansion game and it comes out of nowhere #It's not BAD but you're not expecting it and that's what makes it cruel #Because Luigi's Mansion is in no way a horror game dsgjkfdh

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fuckyeahchinesefashion · 7 months

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when your roommate is a really handsome woman by 于钦然

#china #douyin #fun #video #comment section has her photo when she is long haired really pretty

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factual-fantasy · 1 month

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Oh copy/paste and desktop Tumblr, how I've missed you so XDD

I'm still unable to sit at my desk for as long as I'd like to.. but I can sit long enough to draw some comics here and there at least! One of which being a (somewhat) angsty comic with Grim and V! Did you really think they escaped my angst curse?? It was only a matter of time before I cursed them as well! XDD

But for real, I've wanted to draw something angsty with Grim and V for a while now. And I'm glad I was finally able to! Even if its kind'aaa more of a goofy comic with angsty undertones rather than full on angst. XDD

The more I draw these two, the more lore I start to build in the background... I wonder if I should explore Grim's more serious angst sometime.. 😈😈

#do not tag as ship #pokemon scarlet and violet #gengar #sylveon #gardevoir #Gengar is really fun to draw :}}#trying to draw him with different expressions but keeping his eyes and mouth looking “gengar-ish” is a fun challange #sylveon is just WAY off model but that's what made this comic fun and goofy XDD #And what a sweetheart Gloria is #Grim and V sleeping near each other is likely normal and didn't raise any suspicion amongst the group #but Gloria could probably sense the stress and emotion in V with her psychic powers and what not #so she made him a sammich and some tea as a pick-me-up🥺💖

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bigfatbreak · 27 days

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Birds of a Feather previous / next

#my art #feralnette au #birds of a feather #long tags #sorry I went apeshit in the tags #LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW #I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO #its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical #and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread #as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational #in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away #and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do #shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again #legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it #but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings #alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird #she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her #knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself #between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot #and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo #essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that #busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way #to show her she's self sabotaging #cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD

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sapsuckers-and-stardust · 4 months

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Watching Star Trek IV

Whale biologist: why do you hang around with that weird guy who calls you admiral and why are you so close?

Kirk: *hesitates*

Whale biologist, who lives in San Francisco in the 80s and is rapidly drawing many correct conclusions: that’s okay we don’t have to talk about it.

#she really said oh y’all’s are gay okay #Spock really was not giving off ‘straight Everyman’ in this film #the entire crew are dressed in different flavors of extremely homosexual #this movie is glorious #memory loss Spock is making me wanna cry tbh #it’s so gay (fun) instead of gay(tragic and insane) like the other three #star trek #star trek tos #spock #tos spock #james t kirk #k/s #spirk #tos spirk #star trek iv: the voyage home #the one with the whales

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bet-on-me-13 · 4 months

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Dan is Trigon

So! The Teen Titans had been chasing down a Cult lately, and they had finally managed to track down their main bases location.

Unfortunately, they got there just a bit too late and the Summoning Ritual they had been preforming was finished. The Being they had been calling crawled up and out of the Circle drawn in Blood on the floor.

And Raven felt her heart Stop. Because that Being crawling it's way out of the Summoning Circle looked almost exactly like her Father's True Form. But also different.

Where her Father's hair was a White Flame, this one's hair looked like Freshly Fallen Snow. Instead of her Father's Blood Red Skin, this being had Icy Blue Skin. And most strikingly, In place of her Father's Piercing Red Eyes, this being had Lazarus Green Eyes.

But even with all those changes, she could still the similarities in the Bone Structure, the shape of the Jaw, and most importantly the Untold Power radiating off of them.

Before they could react, the Being turned its attention to the Cultists.

"Who Dares Summon, the Ghost King?"

"We do, Out Lord Pariah Dark! We Beseech Thee, take this unclean world and tear it down! Cleanse the World of its Filth!"

"Oh Goddammit, not again." Said the Being, "Look, Pariah hasn't been in Power for Centuries. I, am Phantom. And I don't do the whole 'Destroy all Worlds' thing, you want your own constellation? I'm your guy. Otherwise? Bite it."

"Bu-But my Lord! We summoned you to-"

"Yeah how about no." Said the unimpressed God, "Here, let me send you guys Home. I'll give you guys some riches or something as compensation, but that's it."

And with that, the God snapped its fingers and the cultists disappeared.

"Now, who are you kids?" He turned to them.

Robin stepped forward, "We are the Teen Titans, and originally we came to stop them from Summoning you. Now, I honestly don't know what to do..."

"Oh, you guys are Heroes! That's interesting, I don't come across worlds with Heroes very often." Said the Ghost King, "The last one was the one with those Revengers or whatever they called themselves. The Spider Totem was fun to talk to, and Thor is always..."

As Phantom mumbled to himself, Raven stepped up. "King Phantom, I have a Question. Why do you resemble the true form or Trigon so closely? As his Daughter, I can recognize your similarities easily, and I was curious."

The King stopped dead.

"...daughter?"

"Oh, yes. Trigon is my father, though obviously I haven't talked to him recently." She explained.

"...that asshole." He said, "How could he not tell me I had a NIECE!?"

Wait what?

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kindnessoverperfection · 10 months

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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times

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