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hoosbandewan · 3 months

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THE Billy Taylor Post

I have a love/hate relationship with The Halcyon as a show overall. I don't feel like all of it is written well, but the area in which it definitely excels is Billy Taylor's story. You know, the cutie pie bellboy that Ewan plays and who is always bugging out in all of the gifs we make of him. He's young, he's sweet, and he's insanely adorable.

And his story is also the best in the entire show. In my opinion!!

I also cry whenever I think about Billy for too long but we'll get into that later, hehe.

Spoilers for The Halcyon, btw!

If you haven't seen it, The Halcyon is set at a fancy hotel in London just as WWII has come to Britain. Also, fair warning that this post is a little bit all over the place because I have SO MANY BILLY TAYLOR FEELS

At the start of the show, Billy is seventeen and working at The Halcyon as a bellboy. He's portrayed by Ewan as someone who's maybe a little bit... no thoughts, head empty. I jokingly refer to Billy as having big NPC energy when he's in the background of scenes because it looks like he has radio static going through his head whenever he's not being interacted with. And like to think that it's not because it was Ewan's first gig as an actor. I think Billy genuinely is a little bit daft. He's the baby himbo. He's the golden retriever puppy who isn't the smartest in the room but he makes up for it with hard work and dedication and pure sweetness.

I mean, he's only seventeen and he appears to be one of the higher ranking bellboys at the hotel. He's given important tasks like welcoming ~secret guests to the hotel, showing new hires where to go, and personally taking care of high ranking guests' belongings. He's clearly trusted by the management and is, more importantly, very good at his job.

But, bless his heart... Billy can be kind of a mess. He's forgetful and sometimes just plain thick. He loses the family dog of the lord and lady who own the hotel while taking it out for a walk. (Literally how does that happen. Billy.) He bungles the staff poker game by revealing his hand without realizing. He's also a silly little dumbass when he and a couple of the other hotel staff are at the movie theater and see the lady who owns the hotel (who's there on a !secret date) and he straight up points at her from several aisles back with his eyes all bugging out. Be more obvious, Billy!

Billy is young and naive and maybe not the smartest guy around, but you know what? He's good at what he does (most of the time, lol) and he's a damn hard worker.

He's also someone who knows that people are reluctant to believe in him and he clearly doesn't like that. Billy signs up to join the army the moment he turns eighteen and, although we don't see it, his mum Peggy (who works at the hotel as the telephonist aka switchboard operator) mentions to the hotel general manager that there was a bit of an argument between them over it.

“Do you know why he was so upset that I didn’t want him signing up? He thought I was saying he wasn’t good enough.”

He also gets angry with his mum when his call-up papers do arrive. I know I called him daft before, so I'm giving him credit where credit is due - he actually very cleverly notices that the letter should have gone to his family's house, but it showed up at the hotel instead. And, upon learning that he's been assigned to the Royal Artillery instead of what he wanted - the engineers - he knows it was his mum (with the help of the hotel general manager, but he doesn't know that part) who moved things around so that Billy could stay close to home.

He angrily tells her, "I ain't a child no more," and storms out of the room. Billy wants to prove himself. He wants to be a grown up with responsibilities and he wants to be believed in.

You feel for him, but you also feel for his mum, who is watching her only son grow up and enlist in the war effort. At one point, Peggy mentions that she was only 19 or 20 by the time she'd had Billy, so she was a young mother (and still is!). Her worrying and fretting over him clearly annoys him because he's a teenager, but, god you feel for her. We also learn that Billy's dad, Jim, was drafted to fight in the war so she must be out of her mind with worry. I'll get more into my Billy feels as related to his mum in a bit. But I mean... just look at this line of Peggy's after Billy's joined the army:

“I pray. I fuss. I hold him a little tighter each time I see him."

Before I move on, GOSH, Billy is such a teenager when it comes to his interactions with his mum, lol. He doesn't want her fussing over him or being affectionate. He shrugs her off when she tries to fix his collar. He's reluctant to let her kiss his cheek... but he lets her do it anyway, of course.

Speaking of his family, Billy's relationship with his little sister, Dora, is also so cute and I love them. She tells another character that she doesn't miss him once he's moved out to join the army because she thinks he's "annoying" but she really does love him, lbr. And he's clearly very close with her, too.

At one point, their family home is destroyed in the Blitz so Peggy and Dora move into The Halcyon for a while. Billy watches his sister on mornings that he can get away from his army duties. He carries her around piggyback style. He lets her wear his army hat. He calls her "squirt." They're freaking adorable.

There's also a cute little moment during one of the Blitz raids where Billy's mum and sister are in the hotel shelter and Dora is frightened. Her mum tells her to listen for the sounds of the artillery and says, “That’s our Billy. He’s protecting us.”

And he is. Billy is a protector. He's always looking out for the people he cares about. When Kate, the maid he has a crush on, is SA'd by the Count, Billy angrily confronts him and even points the Count's own fucking gun at him. AND HE PULLS THE TRIGGER. He was about to fucking murder this man for doing what he did to Kate!

Billy is a fucking real one. God, he's the best character.

I don't have anywhere specific to put this, but I wanted to mention how much I love the little detail the writers added in about Billy's handiness and interest in machinery:

He is seen chatting with one of the waiters about the guns they use in the war and is later able to correctly identify the type of German plane flying over the hotel.

Later on in the season, The Halcyon's general manager and head concierge are trying to fix the hotel generator and lamenting that Billy was the one who always maintained it before he left to join the army. (I will come back to this later because omg)

Billy himself mentions to his mum at one point that he's planning on helping a neighbor with some things she needs done in her shelter and that he expects it to be a quick job.

When he joins the army, he's put in charge of operating one of the anti-aircraft guns - directing his fellow soldiers and being the one to manually operate the machine itself.

Now that I think I've covered every other Billy feel, I have to talk about... the worst one. The saddest one. His death. /:

I don't know how to say this without sounding like a complete [Michael Gavey voice] loooser, but I can't really think about Billy and his story in this show for too long without... crying? Oof.

I think that's a testament to just how well written his storyline was in this show. They make you care so fucking much about this sweet, innocent, pure-hearted, good to a fault, daft, brave young man so much that, when he dies in the Blitz, it really fucking hurts.

I swear, thinking about Billy Taylor deals psychic damage to me every time.

And I think that, part of the reason that Billy's death hurts so much is because of how it's shown to us. We all know the famous orange scene between Billy and Kate so I'm sorry for ruining it by making it sad, lol. But that scene ends with Kate telling Billy that she'll meet him the next morning to share the orange with him. So when morning comes and the hotel staff are arriving and see Kate waiting impatiently for "someone" who hasn't arrived, your heart fucking sinks immediately.

They don't even tell us about Billy's death by showing Peggy learning of the news. We're told through Kate's POV. He doesn't show up to their meeting in the morning and, when she arrives for her shift, the staff has been gathered around by the general manager. Only then do we learn that Billy was killed by a parachute mine the night before. And we follow Kate to the same closet where Billy gave her the orange, where she's sobbing and cradling the fruit in her hands.

But what's even sadder is that Billy remains a presence throughout the rest of the show. You, as the viewer, grieve him alongside not only his family, but also the people who knew him and worked with him.

When the hotel loses power during a bombing one night and the general manager and head concierge are trying to fix the generator, they're lost for what to do and even lost for words because Billy was the one who always handled the generator. They end up fixing the thing by taking a wrench and banging the side of it because "That's what Billy used to do." And it works. The generator turns back on thanks to Billy. Thanks to the memory of him. And the concierge look up and says, "Clever lad," as though Billy can hear him.

Of course, Peggy spends the rest of the season grappling with the loss of Billy, too. The other characters mention more than once that she's "talking about Billy as though he's still here" and that it's worrying them. Eventually, the general manager sits down with her and she says that she does know he's gone but that it's so hard to believe because she wants to think that he could just walk through the door at any moment.

But, oh my god, the saddest moment of the show for me... is the moment when Peggy is walking through the hallway in the staff area of the hotel and she sees one of the bellboys walking towards her. He has his head down so his face is in shadow but he's about the same height as Billy... and you can see in Peggy's face that she's allowing herself - just for that one moment - to imagine that it's Billy. To let herself think that he's still alive. You're watching her process the scene before her and seeing her think, "Could it be him?" for those few seconds... until she sees the bellboy's face. And, oh my god, it absolutely wrecks me every single time.

Billy's death is the reason that Peggy gives up the one thing she has left - Dora - and sends her away to the countryside along with the other children who are being evacuated from London. Because she can't bear the thought of losing her last living child.

Billy is the character who shows the audience how cruel and unforgiving the war is. That it can take anyone, no matter how sweet and kind and young and good the person is.

And it illustrates the enormity of the chasm they leave behind.

Billy's loss is felt in everyone, from his family to the people he worked with to the girl he had a crush on. AND IT'S FELT IN ME, TOO, GODDAMN

This was so long and I may not have even touched upon all of my feels but thanks for coming to my Billy Taylor TED Talk. I fucking love him. The writers did an amazing job writing him. 10/10, no notes whatsoever. I cry every single time.

He's such an underrated Ewan character and, I know I haven't mentioned it much, but Ewan's portrayal of him is flawless. He's perfect at capturing all the silliness, daftness, and earnestness that makes up our sweet little Billy!

Tl;dr - Everyone should love Billy Taylor!

Aaaand here's another gif of our sweet boy to end this massive post:

#welcome to my billy taylor ted talk #this is a mixture of billy taylor observations #and billy taylor feels #this character deserves so so so much love #billy taylor #ewan mitchell #the halcyon

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somethingpersonarelated · 10 months

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On how Futaba views Akechi

A piece of fanon I've noticed that comes up a lot is how supportive Futaba is of anything that involves Akechi. I don't want to go "Oh she just hates him and any interpretation otherwise is WRONG!!>!" or like she'd totally be cool if he randomly waltzed back into their lives.

It's not something that particularly annoys me or anything. It's just something I've noticed and wanted to comment on because I feel like Futaba's character gets overly simplified. I think it's an interesting dynamic that should be explored more! NOTE THIS IS LONG SORRY LMFAO. Also, I should clarify this isn't a ship post. (don't make this weird)

At the beginning:

We all know the infamous "wait why are you telling me about your trauma, this is a wendy's" scene but it gives us our first insight into her perspective.

When he talks about his mother, it's a fairly similar scenario to Futaba's own. So much so that she has her own cut-in looking sad/sympathetic towards him.

But she's still defensive when he asks about the Phantom Thieves' and their popularity by deflecting sarcastically with,

"...You're popular too, Ace Detective Akechi."

They definitely don't start off on the right foot, much like his relationship with pretty much all the Phantom Thieves, for obvious reasons. Although at this point they don't fully know the extent of his suspicious behavior, just that he is generally sus.

During the Casino + Shido Arcs:

Futaba cannot stand Akechi at this point, but as a part of the plan, she has to act naive even though arguably she probably knows the most about all the mechanics of the plan. She does get to mess with him though (making the newbie do stuff, the whole cognitive akechi part of the plan, bugging his phone). Her perspective is probably still similar to the others and it shows how much she was able to improve by being able to face him without cracking at all.

Shido's Arc and Third Semester is when it actually gets interesting though:

Futaba: You know... sometimes I think about that fake Medjed that you guys made up... Futaba: That was the worst trap... but if not for that, I don't think I'd be here right now. Futaba: Uhhh, basically... it doesn't matter where you start over!

This one gets me, I think this line is where her perspective begins to shuffle a bit (and it will be important later). She's trying her best to sympathize with him, as this is before the black mask part of the breakdown, and get him to see that there was some amount of good that came from his actions. It doesn't work, and I kind of think she doesn't really believe it, but they are all trying anything to get him to come to his senses. But I do think she means the part about him starting over, in a "I did it, so could you" kind of way.

And of course this engine room dialogue which is peak (even if it may be an incorrect description of his abilities):

Futaba: But you trusted no one, so you only got two Personas: one for your lies, and one for your hate. Futaba: Still, you thought that was enough, right? That part I totally get.

Okay the first part of the dialogue may not be accurate to how his Personas work but I don't want to talk about that (there's some good posts on that though). But the point isn't being accurate, she's throwing back what he's done in attempt to get through to him. Like this is where you went wrong and here's why I can relate to that. The second line confuses me and I had to sit on it.

One point she makes is that he's operating on his own without teammates (the translation is a bit different), "playing in single player mode." I think this refers to how she thought she could manage her situation on her own, but wasn't able to. Additional note, it could also be referring to the way she attempted to push people out of her life (like how she tries to stop the PTs when they say they need to meet her to change her heart). That she needed the help of the Phantom Thieves (I think, even beyond the change of heart) and those bonds proved her wrong. So even though she initially thought no one needed her and that her life was meaningless, she did something Akechi couldn't conceive of doing, reaching out for help. This is her way of extending a branch even though there's no reason for her to.

Third Semester

Source:

An additional line I can't screenshot:

"So please let me get back to navigating! I wanna navigate so hard that I won't be able to think about anything else."

When this happens, I think it's pretty clear that there's a strong inner conflict for her when it comes to forgiving Akechi. Even though they reasoned it out by saying they needed him on the team due to Maruki's abilities, she's still trying to look for a better reason to work with him. And she just can't find one. I wouldn't say it's necessarily out of pity, but it shows that she does on some level still feel bad for him. I guess the word I'm looking for is compassion? A thought that comes into my head is that she does want him to start over, just not with the team. If it was only Shido, then it would have been justified, but the circumstances are different here. Knowing that he might be alive changes the way all the thieves interact with him (they aren't trying to get through to him anymore, and some dialogues are just awkward- you can tell no one knows what to say to him now that he's acting 'normal').

A counterpoint to this dialogue would be her dialogue in the engine room and Mementos. She's pretty open to talking to him in these dialogues. In Akechi's section there are some really interesting interactions imo:

Akechi: You may not like working with me, but I'm counting on your assistance until our goal is achieved. Futaba: You better appreciate just how open-minded I am.

The fact they don't play together in Tycoon but they still get Mementos dialogues confuses me a bit but eh. Without Haru and Futaba's approval it's pretty clear the others wouldn't be on board with Akechi on the team. The delivery kind of makes it sound like she's forcing herself to be open minded about it, and that's what the safe room dialogue implies too. She doesn't want to be around him.

Akechi: Do you prefer my previous outfit or this one? Moving around's become much easier for me. Futaba: They both work fine. Just wear whatever you want.

Akechi: You think I'm frightening when I fight? Well, I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept it. Futaba: I was pretty shocked at first, but now I'm used to it.

I think these are pretty clear. She hasn't forgiven him, hell she probably doesn't like him, but she's come to accept him for who he is. But she isn't scared anymore, nor is she trying to reason with him, he just exists.

Conclusion/TLDR: She goes from actively disliking him at the beginning of the story to still disliking him but it's complicated™. She understands what he went through to get to that point, and wanted him (like the others) to face Shido with them. But when it comes to third semester, the circumstances are far different, complicating it further. She doesn't need to forgive him at all, she knows that, but after everything that happened wants to find a reason to forgive him. But she can't. At the very least, she's begrudgingly accepting of his existence, and can deal with it only for the sake of the team. She doesn't hate him, at all, actually, but to say she's okay with him is also a stretch.

edit: some edits for clarity/demonstration.

#this is basically a ramble on why I think the half-sibling theory is interesting and complicates their dynamic #spreading futaba propaganda just as god intended #i wonder why ik so much about this #looks at the 60k longfic i have saved #text #long post #futaba sakura #goro akechi #p5 spoilers #p5 meta #spoilers #give futaba credit for being interesting!#thinking emoji

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smilesatdawnmain · 2 months

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in your different AU‘s, will some characters have drastically different personalities?

I’m not sure if it’s necessarily “drastic” but there are definitely differences in their personalities.

I’ll write if there are any~

Taken

MK is very- untrusting, is the best way to put it. He trusts those he loves, but doesn’t trust a stranger at face value. He 100% believes everyone is lying until proven otherwise. He doesn’t trust anyone to keep their word- and infact is more on guard when someone “swears to do something/promises things”

While he is a very kind soul, he doesn’t often cry. Not to say his can’t be moved by emotions, but things don’t affect him at that deep of a level anymore. Even good things.

His abilities only really match to Wukong’s except his ability to dream of the future. This ability came from Macaque.

He’s far more similar to Nezha in how he dresses and fights. As well as his sense of honor. Things like cheating and breaking vows/promises is very upsetting to him.

Hesitant to cause any real injury to anyone.

The Day the World Eclipsed

MK : extremely trusting and loving- probably naively so. Grew up being able to trust everything around him, thus is far more susceptible to manipulation.

He has no reason to distrust anyone or feel concern they might be lying.

His fighting style takes off more of both Macaque and Wukong, as his powers take after both as well.

More playful fighting, not willing to cause any actual harm.

He’s the perfect little mix of both his parents. Bubbly and sweet, yet easily able to switch to a more conniving little trickster at the drop of a hat.

The Tragedy of Six (this is the Au with the biggest difference)

MK: while his playful nature and attitude towards his friends are the same as all the other MK’s, it is with enemies that MK might show the greatest change.

Far more quick to violent tendencies. Can cause harm, and isn’t against doing so if needed.

Very curious of the world, but grew up being told it is corrupt and beneath him, so sometimes that mindset shows in how he interacts with others.

He is very protective of his family- almost boarder-lining on possessive.

His fighting style does have a lot of Nezha’s influence, but it is Erlang that he learned the most from.

Red Son: while Red Son is the same in all my Au’s, this is where his personality differs. He’s far more cautious in this Au.

Feeling both responsible as the oldest, he also has a large sense of fear since he has had the Samahdi fire since birth.

He is calmer. Not to say his anger management issues are gone, but he works twice as hard to keep them under control.

He struggles with abandonment issues. Always assuming everyone is going to leave him- and for good reason. It’s just a matter of time, in his mind

Mei: in this Au, her general bubbly spirit and happy go lucky attitude is the same.

She is prone to more illegal shenanigans, impatient as she tends to be, yet she meditations far more frequently.

And influence from Nezha, you’d be surprise how often you find her meditating without someone prompting her to do so.

She’s claimed the other children and Nezha as her family, and she is not keen to share. And similar to Emerald, she often quietly wonders of her own heritage.

Worried that she isn’t enough as a “Dragon” since she doesn’t fully understand what it means to be one.

She really really doesn’t get along with Xiaoxiao~ (the siblings that are always fighting)

———

And that is all I can really think that is drastically different for the characters of each au. Most everyone’s personalities are the same except for the differences here :3

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blorbo-adoption-poll · 8 months

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Preliminaries round 2 match 6

Pennywise (It) vs Penny Hofstadter (Big Bang Theory) vs Penny (Dr Horrible’s Sing Along Blog)

Only 2 will move on

Propaganda under the cut

Pennywise (IT)

• Scary, goofy outfit, gives out balloons

• he's a clown. he's a demon. he's an alien. he's a serial killer. a bunch of kids with a baseball bat are enough to take him down.

• funny murder clown, i wanna see him among all the other probably not clowny pennies.

• :)

Penny Hofstadter (Big Bang Theory)

• Penny has no last name but when married, it becomes Penny Hofstadter. Her brother was in jail for drugs. She definitely does not have an alcohol problem. She had an addiction to video games causing her to not move for days. She marries Leonard despite everyone believing she could do better. She is described as a gorilla many times, which is ironic as she starred in a film where she turned into a gorilla.

• She's the only main character who doesnt have a phd but also the only one who knows how to gut a fish so i guess it balances out

Penny (Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog)

• she’s an incredible and tragic character whose love and trust gets her killed in the end. also Dr horrible is a very underrated media in general I want her to win

• Ordinary person in a supervillain story, just wants to shelter people and do her laundry. Relatable!

• She’s a sexy lamp but boy is she a cutie

• She’s the only genuinely good person in the whole show. She’s sweet and very naive. Love her <3

• Penny is an extremely empathetic and caring person. She works at a homeless shelter and is gentle and friendly with everyone there. She meets the main character at a laundromat and immediately becomes a very supportive and encouraging friend. Her goal throughout the narrative is to open a second location of the shelter so she can help more people. She has a sad backstory of not being accepted when she was younger and has learned to focus on optimism to make it through. Her main flaw is that she tolerates a romantic relationship with a man who doesnt respect her because she isn't well-practiced with respecting herself, but after he takes it too far, she does stand up for herself and walk out on him (growth!)

Pollrunners notes: all of these are some of the most submitted characters

#penny poll #tournament poll #pennywise #it #steven king #penny hofstadter #big bang theory #doctor horrible's sing along blog #dhsab

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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 10 months

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Pride Month Character Sexuality Headcanon Moodboards 1. Yasmine - Lesbian 2. Demetri Alexopoulos - Gay 3. Moon - Bisexual 4. Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz - Bisexual

Next up is everyone's favorite Demetri Alexopoulos-obsessed slightly evil predatory bird boy, Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz! Unlike with Demetri, I am fully aboard the Bisexual Eli Express. Justice for bi guys!!! We need more in media because it is in fact sexy and valid to like dick AND boobs!!!

Now, quick disclaimer that there is not a single mlw Eli ship that I personally fuck with in the least. I've been pretty loud about the reasons for my immense distaste of H*wkM**n, and could in fact write a 20 or so page essay on why they're one of my all-time NoTPs if prompted. Furthermore, my first impulse upon seeing any other female character paired with Eli (or...really, any character who isn't Demetri, or possibly Miguel in extremely specific circumstances) is to keep said pairing approximately 491263844976 feet away from me. BUT, despite my personal feelings of revulsion upon seeing Eli paired with anyone who isn't his soulmate Demetri Alexopoulos, I fully believe Eli is bisexual and that there's plenty of textual evidence to support this!

So let's dive in!

The first thing that comes to mind is how Eli vents to his mom in the 2x05 flashback about how he's "never going to get a girlfriend." Granted, as I've mentioned in some other posts, high school dating is often more about social status (i.e. being seen as "desirable" enough to get an SO makes you more popular) than genuine romantic attraction. BUT Eli voicing his concerns to someone he clearly trusts more than most people indicates to me that he wants a girlfriend more than just for show--he's attracted to girls.

I have a friend who since moved on from the fandom who did autistic analyses of Eli, and pointed out that he's often uncomfortable with eye contact. Pre-Hawk, the only two people we see him make consistent eye contact with are Demetri and his mom. This seems like a pretty good indication that these are the two people he trusts the most, and can most honestly "bare his soul" and be himself around. Another reason I think his vent to his mom about worrying he's never going to have the experience of dating a girl has authenticity to it. I can't compare this to Demetri's interactions with his mom, unfortunately (and it's a damn shame!!! I demand to see Ms. Alexopoulos in S6!!!), but I can say for certain that Eli has expressed wanting a girlfriend from a (presumably) vulnerable and honest place, while S1 Demetri only ever seems to do so performatively.

As previously established, there is no bigger H*wkM**n loather than I. I make no secret of this. HOWEVER!!! I feel like it'd be naive--and maybe even dumb--to pretend that there isn't at least some physical attraction there. Granted, they're definitely emotionally incompatible in a way I wish the show had the balls to actually address (like how the fuck is a pacifist gonna last in a relationship with a dude who loves fighting more than just about everything else lmao), but I can buy they find each other physically (and probably sexually) attractive. Moon basically says as much when she's dumping Eli in S2! They very much strike me as one of those teenage couples who are all over each other 90% because of hormones. I'd say the main difference between them and Dem and Yas is that the performative aspect doesn't seem to be there. While Dem and Yas feel like they're putting on a show, it seems like Hawk and Moon really were just that horny.

So throughout S2, we see Hawk treat Moon in kind of a possessive way, and more as arm candy to make him look good than as her own person (yet another reason I am such a Hater lmao). Despite this, he spends so much time in S3 and S4 moping over her and pining for her that I do think they had somewhat of an emotional connection, even if it was pretty surface-level. I still think their relationship was mostly based on looks and social status, but him being that hung up on winning her back (a frankly unhealthy thing that should not have been narratively rewarded btw) instead of just moving on to some other hot girl who'd give him the time of day indicates that Moon was more than just a beard.

So like. I feel like if you weren't convinced that Eli has feelings for Demetri, you wouldn't be reading a post written by tumblr user demetriandelibinaryboyfriends XD But to briefly summarize: Eli spends much of the show shooting Demetri Yearning Looks and being the only one amused by his antics. Even when they're falling out, Eli is borderline obsessive about harassing Demetri when he could just ignore him and focus on his Cool New Karate Friends. He often seeks Demetri out in fights in a way that feels pretty damn fruity. He's pretty physically affectionate with Demetri, and never seems to mind when Dem is physically affectionate with him (to the point of near cuddling in S4). This is...unusual for teenage boys, to say the least! Oftentimes even the straight ones are so terrified of being perceived as gay that they're super stingy about all but the most "no homo" type of physical affection. The fact that Dem and Eli pretty liberally put their arms around each other and give each other little gestures of physical affection makes me think that they've been in a homoerotic friendship so long that they like. Don't even realize it comes across as kinda gay??? Like Miguel and Demetri are physically affectionate too, but it's much more casual and doesn't feel as intense.

Also worth a mention that Eli is literally simping for Demetri so hard that he joins Demetri's karate dojo right after being terribly traumatized and deciding to quit karate. Why??? Because Demetri said some encouraging things to him, cuddled him on a couch, and basically confessed his love by being like "hey I'll always care about you no matter how you wear your hair or what name you go by." This man is whipped as fuck. His actor basically confirmed he won the championship for Demetri! And lest we forget, the final push that got him to betray the dojo he'd previously devoted his entire life to--also led by a dangerous war criminal sure not to take betrayal lightly, might I mention--was seeing Demetri in danger. Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz is in fact Down Bad.

So I'm not a big fan of the migu/eli ship for reasons I don't want to get into here, but imo it's completely possible Eli had feelings for Miguel at some point (I just don't think they were ever reciprocated because Miguel is in love with Sam!). He definitely idolizes Miguel and puts him on a kind of "coolness" pedestal that feels like it could easily be romantic. He also gets so obsessed with avenging Miguel that he breaks the arm of the other guy he has a crush on, so...there's also that!

Come to think of it, there are actually some really interesting parallels between the Miguel/Eli and Moon/Eli relationships. Both are kind of a case of Eli getting really enamored with this idealized idea/concept he has of a person and getting so wrapped up in that that he has a fundamental misunderstanding of and neglects the actual person's wants and needs. Hence why he's so confused when Moon and Miguel tell him they don't want him in their lives if he's going to be an ass--this isn't how the doe-eyed ever-adoring hot girlfriend and stone-cold, super aggressive badass bestie he built up in his head were supposed to react! Why are they acting like independent people with agency who don't conform to the versions of themselves in Eli's fantasies???

(This is also why I think Demetri's the healthiest and most sensible romantic partner for Eli btw. Eli doesn't idealize and borderline deify Demetri the way he does for other people he has feelings for/seems to have feelings for. He's known Dem so long that we can reasonably extrapolate any feelings that developed were based in the Demetri that was actually there, and not a fictional version he built up in his mind. In fact, it almost seems like Demetri knows Eli has a tendency to do this and won't let Eli project an untrue version of Demetri onto the real guy. That might be why Demetri staunchly refused to change himself to go along with Eli's karate shenanigans in early S2--he was basically saying "I am who I am, and I refuse to become this impossibly glorified image you're projecting onto me." And I can't blame him--I actually get really annoyed when people try to put me on a pedestal, and will often go out of my way to break their illusion that I'm whatever perfect, wholesome box they try to shove me in XD Bottom line being that between Moon, Miguel, and Demetri, I think Demetri has the healthiest relationship with Eli because it's, at the end of the day, the most honest and doesn't hinge on any untrue and unfair projections.)

At the end of the day though!!! The fact that Eli is able to separately idealize both a guy and a girl and both in a pretty romantic or romantic-coded way is pretty damning proof to me that he is in fact bisexual! Look, not all bisexuals process their feelings in healthy ways okay aiksjuuhfkdhg

He dyes his hair ALL THE DAMN BISEXUAL FLAG COLORS. And on the order they're on the flag, too??? Red (S2 - S3) to purple (S4) to dark blue (S5)??? Fucking wild. If this was a fanfiction I would joke about it being too on-the-nose, BUT NO. THIS IS CANON MATERIAL IN THE SHOW.

Okay, I'm sorry, but. NO non-queer dude dyes his hair bright-ass colors like that. Red or blue maaaaybe, but PURPLE??? NO. Straight men simply do not dye their hair purple. Like speaking as an LGBT I'm here to tell you that in the community, brightly colored hair (but especially more "flamboyant," girly colors like purple or pink) basically a signal that says "hey, I am also queer!" ESPECIALLY if you're a dude. Straight girls dyeing their hair bright-ass colors is more common, but I have never known a single straight guy to. And that's because it's associated with being gay af.

Also I can't tell you the amount of times they've put this dude in bisexual lighting. The ones I can think of off the top of my head are S2 Valley Fest and the S3 arm break, but I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting. Demetri is there both the times I mentioned. Hmmmm.

Took some liberties with the bisexual flag in this moodboard to better fit Eli's vibe...and also like. These are literally the three colors he dyes his hair in canon. I had to XD

I'm still not over that btw aksjdkhuef like it's so bisexual it's PAINFUL

I really like how this one came out <3 Hopefully I was able to capture the full scope of technonerd, avian motifs, and that one S3 angerboi I-want-to-punch-everything-and-everyone arc!

Btw the top middle picture is just supposed to be neon fire because our boi is Fiery™️, but then I realized it...kind of also looks like a mohawk??? So kudos to me for the accidental character accuracy XD

Okay so. Would you believe I have several more of these that I didn't have the chance to post? ^^; I uh. Guess I'll have to make July Pride Month 2.0 and post them then XD This is what happens when I'm too overambitious in my shitposts, eh?

As always, pic credits available upon request!

#eli moskowitz #hawk #cobra kai #aesthetic #moodboard #ck pride month moodboards #bisexual #cobra kai season 1 #cobra kai season 2 #cobra kai season 3 #cobra kai season 4 #cobra kai season 5 #happy pride 🌈#lgbt #lgbtqia #queer #queer pride

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wonderinc-sonic · 10 months

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I support Vector and Blaze babying Espio and Silver but it definitely be a wishful thinking/sibling blindness angle.

Vector is the big brother who could be mistaken as dad figure, while he knew his bros are scrappy even little Charmy can kick ass but compared to him they are both so small and lightweights. It's very much hinted that Vector may be smarter than he's often portrayed, he does rely on his size and weight in battle instead of technique which makes it entirely possible that he'd focus more on Espios size and weight then his ninja training. I also think he doesn't know the full extent of Espios training since Espio most likely keeps it quite secret.

06 Blaze might know that Silver is feral but 06 was retconned/is non canon, Blazes first canon interaction with Silver was in the DS Sonic Colors and Silver was noticeably more chill than before due to even stating that the future was a good future. Silver definitely is just as feral as before as shown in the rivals games but it isn't really in any games that they interact in, Blaze has seen more of Silver being loveable naive sweetheart than a feral wasteland child and I doubt any of the main cast actually knows how bad the bad future is since I highly doubt Silver would willingly take anyone there with him.

That's the main 'Sibling blindness' part, think it would effect Blaze more than Vector but still a contributing factor.

The 'Wishful thinking' part is more them wanting Espio and Silver to be the young teens that they are, the two had to grow up more quickly then they had any right to and Vector and Blaze want to unpack that. If Vector and Blaze can convince themselves to see the two as kids then they are more likely going to treat them like kids, while it's probably not the best approach since they could unintentionally gloss over things like trauma they aren't doctors/therapist and are still teens/young adults themselves.

I agree in part, although if we take 06 as non-canon then Silver and Blaze have no particular connection to eachother that they know of. And that kinda sucks, and scuppers any siblingisms I might ascribe.

Instead of that, I headcanon that they both knew a version of eachother in their own time/world, but Blaze lost her life in a fire in Silver's time, and Silver went missing researching a way to undo their mistakes in Blaze's dimension. Then, when they meet up, they both immediately think it's a miracle, then realize it isn't who they thought it is, and it's really awkward but they both have an unfounded trust in eachother because of that. I appreciate this not only is foundationless, but actively counters their interaction in colors, but nevermind.

I definitely think Vector especially cannot see Espio's faults clearly, we see this in TMOSTH, although as you rightly say he could have been playing against the game to help Espio anyway, because he could be smart enough to work it out. I actually don't think Blaze is that blind to Silver's faults and nature, he seems (in 06 at least) to be someone she has quite a good read on. I think she just thinks he's justified.

With regards to 'wishful thinking', I believe this applies to many, many more of the main cast than just these: they're all pretty young and self-sacrificing, and plenty of them have a protective instinct. I could see a lot of weird interactions going on of people guessing eachother's ages wrong and trying to 'big sis/bro' eachother despite being just as young. But I firmly believe Vector is one of the most guilty, and occasionally acts like they're all under 12 because he sees them as young and in need of protecting. Blaze could absolutely be guilty of that too. God, I wish we saw her more. Curse you, alternate dimensions!

#thanks for the ask! 🐈🌀🦔🦎🐊#silver the hedgehog #espio the chameleon #blaze the cat #vector the crocodile #wonderincs #anon #sonic headcanons

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fyrefrostanimus · 4 months

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That Slay the Princess X FNaF crossover but it's just me thinking about how different versions of The Princess would interact with anyone else but The Hero

Thinking about the Slay the Princess X FNaF crossover a bit more (as a placeholder, it'll be called "Chapter II: Mechanically Broken" until I either think of something better or decide it sticks). I've settled on Michael being the first person to actually meet The Princess after the two accidental multiverse travelers end up somewhere they obviously aren't meant to be.

Since The Princess is away from The Hero for a lot of the time and almost all of Chapters II through IV are on the table, it gives me some room to think of how each version of her would interact with people other than our favorite eldritch crow man.

Quick preface to all of these, but if I do decide to write this random AU into a fanfic or something, the only character The Princess could (not every version of her obviously) feel anything romantic for would be The Hero. It just makes more sense to me that way.

Anyone is also free to remove the crossover AU elements to this post and just use the characterizations I got for all of them! No need to even credit anything, this is general stuff.

Chapter II Princesses

The Nightmare

Like with a lot of other Chapter II Princesses, The Nightmare's Aura of Organ Failure doesn't work on anyone except The Hero. She's a bit surprised at this but at least there's other ways to spread fear out there.

As I just mentioned with fear, she wants to be feared. The Nightmare probably looks at pre-Bite of '83 Mike with a sort of awe that he has his brother so afraid he's crying on the floor half the time (not saying that's good, but she sees it as such).

She doesn't want to kill anyone for the sake of killing, but if it'll make her feared, she'll do it. Her Aura of Organ Failure may not work on most normal human people here, but The Nightmare can find a way around it should the need arise.

The Stranger

Still shaken from the whole "the universe collapsed and now I'm like 5 different versions of the same person all smashed into one entity" thing.

After that, it's each of them pretty act like The Hero and all the Voices: each considering all the options and choosing whatever seems best for them to keep their 5 melded heads (albeit they're probably much more functional since they each control part of the body and actively must work together).

Each Princess making up The Stranger has different views and experiences with killing. I'm not about to rattle them all off, if you've seen a playthrough of this route you'll probably be able to tell which is which.

The Damsel

I was actually considering having The Damsel be flirty, but since her adoration for The Hero is based on him trying to rescue her, it makes more sense for her to be desperately searching for her beloved.

She probably trusts people much too easily. Very naive, and a bit of a doormat. When it comes to anyone except The Hero, she's a bit more capable of questioning things, but it's still The Damsel in there: enough pushing and she'll probably agree. She's pretty much a big child.

The Damsel doesn't want to kill anyone, and it's not like she would know how to do so effectively if she had to.

The Witch

No "crushing everyone to death with roots" here, sorry. Pretty sure you'd enjoy the concept of someone you hate dying in a springlock suit, though.

Outside of her willingness to betray those she knows she can't trust, The Witch's probably pretty mischievous. It's purely my own thinking though, but showing us she could slip that chain off her wrist with a smug look on her face really made me think that.

The Witch would definitely kill those she believes will betray her. And if there seems to be no way to do so, she will find one.

The Beast

Being an intelligent-but-still-feral animal, she'd at least be willing to talk. But as soon as you're a threat, you're dead. The Beast also probably has a chase instinct so maybe don't run away from her.

The Beast can and would and could kill someone should the need arise. And that need is probably that she just got hungry.

The Spectre

While she can't rip anyone's heart clean out of their body outside of The Hero, her reaching her hand into anyone else's living body would probably have some effects. Could probably be fatal depending on which organ and what condition it was already in.

She's snarky and a bit playful. While she wouldn't call anyone outside The Hero "killer", The Spectre would probably find some similar name for another person. Plus, she hates being alone. Even if she's not trapped in the basement of the cabin in this universe, it's like she remembers what it was like in there.

Might be able to kill someone. Definitely could kill The Hero with her usual heart-crushing move, but not anyone else since she doesn't seem able to interact much with solid matter past that.

The Razor

Since The Razor doesn't change much throughout her many chapters, this will apply to all of them.

Don't even try to be friendly with her. All The Razor wants is your blood all over her sharp hands (and body, if she decides to reveal that). She doesn't care about competition as much, although the thrill of battle does get to her like it does with The Adversary.

A very one-note character. While The Stranger seems to be the true parallel to The Razor, I see some similarities in The Damsel in the way she slams into you and breaks herself in doing so during The Empty Cup. Her bloodlust is the only trait she truly has, and once she has nothing to hurt (and gets injured herself), she panics. The Razor is just so desperate to cause pain and death that she will self-destruct when she can't do so anymore.

The Adversary

She wants a fight. The Adversary is here to kick ass and get her ass kicked, and she's not leaving this mortal coil without both of those happening simultaneously (not like she can die).

She probably wouldn't just fight ANYONE, since she wants to push her limits. People she knows are weaker than her are probably safe unless she finds out they can't actually die. A bit impatient too, and irritable.

The Adversary could absolutely kill someone. She wants to as well, but only if it's someone she sees as worth her time.

The Tower

Her Compelling Voice won't work on anyone but The Hero, probably giving her an identity crisis bad enough to quickly turn her into The Fury.

Seems like the type to write a book. If she could accept not actually being a god then maybe she would (but that's not her character).

Demands respect, not knowing that's not how it works here. The Tower adores those who submit to her, but only as long as they do.

She doesn't like physical combat. The Tower would rather break someone down mentally than throw hands.

The Prisoner

Still could behead herself and have her head carried around. But since The Prisoner isn't actually chained to a wall, she'd be less likely to pull that move (she still has the heavy chains that restrict her movement speed though).

She's resourceful, and uses what she has to try and turn the tide in her favor. The Prisoner is mentally prepared for almost any situation, and after (what she perceives as) years of being locked up in a basement she's used to asking questions before taking action.

The Prisoner would definitely kill someone if they directly pose a threat to her, whether they mean harm or not. She'd give them a chance to drop the weapon, but if they refuse, she's not holding back.

Chapter III Princesses

The Wraith

She can't actually possess anyone other than The Hero, but she sure as hell will try to make your life agony if you piss her off. Which would be easy considering she can crush one's ankle with just a squeeze.

The Wraith is still definitely not kind to newly-met strangers, but she'll at least give them a chance to prove they won't try anything. Even after that point screwing up could be a death sentence.

Can and will kill someone if she wants something. The Wraith will take anything she needs in order to reach her goals, whatever they may be.

The Moment of Clarity

Think The Nightmare, but (probably: I am taking criticism for this, and I'm even rewatching ManlyBadassHero's playthrough in order to make sure I'm getting them right) more desperate for companionship.

Almost everything else carries over from The Nightmare. The Moment of Clarity still wants to cause fear, but being rejected in some way really affected her.

The Grey

Burned will be in orange, Drowned will be in blue.

She's overly loving, willing to do anything to make sure she and The Hero can be together. Just not in the obsessive yandere way. I'm pretty sure that, if The Hero found someone else, she'd either be happy that he's happy or switch to the Drowned Grey (which would mean it's not technically her).

I don't think she would want to kill someone (or, like with her leadup in The Damsel, know how). But The Burned Grey could probably pull the blade out of her chest if necessary.

The Drowned Grey is blunt and not much of a talker. Unlike The Den, who cannot speak, she simply chooses not to.

She'd kill you if she had a reason, usually a grudge. But the punishment would likely match the crime, so if you just spilled your coffee on her she'd probably just wake you up in the middle of the night with a splash of cold water. But she could also use the blade impaled in her chest.

The Thorn

The Witch, but barely trusts anyone. The Thorn would be overjoyed if she found someone she could actually trust.

Like with her being trapped in brambles, she tends to find herself in situations where she needs help to get out. Especially since she's now outside of her own universe and can be confused by so many more things.

Honestly, I have no idea if she'd kill someone. I would have carried this over from The Witch, but The Thorn just doesn't seem like the type to be able to kill if in that situation.

The Wild

I think they're pretty much the only one who doesn't interact with anyone outside of The Hero, since it's probably extremely hard for a path in the woods to talk or anything.

Probably likes riddles.

I am assuming so much here and it's mostly based of them being "a curious heart": seeing as The Wild seeks knowledge of at least a certain aspect, they just figure out other fun stuff along the way.

Seems pretty content with not killing anyone. Likely could if they wanted to, but The Wild doesn't mind just being a path in the woods (only talking about The Princess's half, it depends with The Hero since The Wild starts with them merged).

The Den

The Beast, but unable to be reasoned with. If you piss her off then good luck, you're on your own.

The Fury

She can't rip out the organs of anyone except The Hero (at least, she can't without a physical effort). Poor girl can't catch a break: first she finds out her god power of commanding a guy to do her bidding won't work, and now she can't even punish them for it?

She's very spiteful. The Fury doesn't forget, and she never forgives. Well, she wouldn't until she switches to another version of The Princess who has a different reaction.

She would probably kill someone over a minor inconvenience.

The Eye of the Needle

Everything from The Adversary carries over, but is increased ten-fold. The Eye of the Needle would probably be willing to fight more people with intent to kill and be killed.

The Apotheosis

Everything from The Tower, but add on that she's now cocky as well. She won't even bother trying to bend your will to stop your attempts to kill her: The Apotheosis would love to see you try.

Oh my god I'm finally done writing this. It took two whole days to finish as I rewatched a whole playthrough to refresh

#chapter ii: mechanically broken au #alt title: i ramble on about the princesses from slay the princess because this is how i characterize them for an au i made on a whim #also because i wanted to #slay the princess #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #only tagging this with fnaf because i directly mentioned it

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septembersghost · 1 year

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maybe a heavy question for a tuesday night but—how do you manage to be tender and soft and open-hearted without feeling bruised all the time? or, i guess, how do you cope with feeling bruised all the time, if that is how you feel? i feel lately like an exposed nerve, like i’m too vulnerable by half and everyone is pointing and laughing. i feel like i ought to have a thicker skin but i don’t necessarily want to lose the tenderness. i don’t know what to do, i guess.

oh darling anon. i'm sending so much love to you. there is never a wrong time for this kind of question. i don't know if there's a right answer.

so here's what i will tell you from my own experience, subjective though it may be - i have always been an overly sensitive soul, a little too soft and easily wounded, tender heart that's maybe too naively trusting and forgiving. i used to get told to "toughen up" by various people (excluding my mom), there were even (male) family members who'd tease me intentionally at gatherings to try and make me cry because they misguidedly thought that this would cause me to be stronger. and it just made me feel worse, because i felt like there was something too fragile and broken in me, that i'd never be good enough or resilient enough to matter. that somehow the softness was weakness or childishness. it's something i couldn't change. and even when it's a compliment, it can be sharp-edged - you're so sweet, but so quiet! the kindness being something you try for, but the quiet being fear.

many years ago, after i went through a specific traumatic experience, i turned on myself, drove those knives inward, but also briefly lashed out. it's the only time in my life that i reacted in an aggressive way from the wounds. there was a span of months where i was unrecognizably dark and cynical and bitter, numbed to the softer and brighter things i try to hold. (and i was angry, but i don't think anger automatically is a negative thing, it depends how you channel it.) i was also s****dal, and miring myself in such a dark headspace definitely didn't make that better. it was brutal, and when i started to surface on the other side, claw my way back through the thorns of it, i realized...hardening myself like that was worse. it made the whole world feel heavier, and meaner, and harder to find my bearings in, because it simply wasn't me. i fought bloody to get the true sense of myself back, and she is soft and silly and too sensitive and cries a lot, and it's okay. it's okay because it's true, and being true is the only way you don't sink under the worst waves. i strove not to ever lose that again.

(it's why i keep: be soft, and i want to still have a sharp pen and thin skin and an open heart, and you have to be wearing a suit of armor, but have a liquid heart and soul, close in my mind all the time. like little prayers, affirmations. we are allowed to be this way. to exist in our tenderness.)

i know it makes you feel bruised and delicate, and cut open to the ache of the world at times, and like a flayed nerve at times. i know those moments are exhausting and echo around in your head. the only thing i can say is that i also believe being open-hearted is a gift. you feel things deeply and it makes the world richer and more beautiful, it doesn't only give you the pain, it gives you the wonder and the joy too. it doesn't mean it's easy, on the contrary it often is not. to be tender is to be so human. having a great capacity for love is a mitzvah, a blessing. there is no one who is tender quite like you. no one has your heart. this universe needs all the kindness it can get. you are rare and essential. consider that softness like a living thing - if you put it in the dark, it will wither and fade away, but if you let it stay in the light, it will keep doing its very best to blossom and show all its colors. that's what you are, all shimmer and color. those who truly value you will see that and treasure it, but the most important thing is to keep it for you. it's not a weakness. it's a strength.

#anonymous #letterbox #ILY #bubble wrap around my heart #be soft #i've never been a natural; all i do is try try try

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hopeswriting · 2 years

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colonnello is the just some guy of the arco by the way. and he's the only just some guy among them because civilian as he may have been, skull obviously has never been just some guy a day in his life. and i know tragic backstories are always a nice way to spice up stories and characters, but no, listen, colonnello is literally the most average just some guy you'll ever meet, i just know it. and if nothing else just consider it for a bit for how funnier it makes everything about him.

it's like, he's a kid and makes himself a friend that just so happens to be the world's greatest hitman to be, and then just commits to it because that's what good friends do right, and it definitely got him into dangerous shits way before he could join the army. and even if we say they weren't actually childhood friends and reborn is just a troll, on the worst day of his life where he was just minding his own business trying to save the love of his life, who among the seven people he ends up cursed with decides to fuck with him and make them childhood friends? that's right, the world’s greatest hitman.

he joins the army and meets lal and falls in love with her, but she just so happens to be one of the world's strongest to be, and it dooms them both. he tries to protect her as you do with the love of your life--or you know what, we don't even have to go there because he could simply have been doing his duty (tho he totally could have been doing both, and likely was), i.e. having the back of his superior officer, so like, the guy was just doing his job and didn't really fail at it but sure as hell didn't succeed either, and also now he's stuck in the form of a baby and his whole life as he knew it is over. but he takes it as a champ right, decides he'll still keep smiling and make the most out of that now shitty and hopeless life until it kills him properly, but then a couple of decades later some guy releases poison in the air to specifically kill him and take his pacifier from him he doesn't even know how to and can't use anyway.

eventually he gets the chance to make his life not shitty and hopeless anymore, and also, you know, to not die, and it's clearly a trap and he doesn't trust it but also he'll never have another chance like that again, and instantly he decides that if he actually wins he'll save the love of his life instead of himself, but then his representative loses because he wanted to have a moment with his son. thankfully things still work out and no one dies, except he'll have to grow normally back to his original age from his current state as a toddler, while the love of his life immediately got back her adult body (which he's grateful for, obviously, but you know). and he still proposes to her because he's been waiting for this and she says yes because she's been waiting for this too, but then they fight and have to postpone the wedding because he just CANNOT WIN.

like, do you see the pattern here, it's so fucking funny. it's like, life just has it out for him, it just went "hey, you? i'm going to screw you over any way i can at literally every opportunity", and meanwhile colonnello's just trying to live his life in peace lmao. and maybe it's not narratively interesting or whatever, but don't look me in the eye and tell me it's not funny as shit. (tho with the right skills you could easily make it out to be a tragic thing too, like the guy just keeps losing whatever he does even when he's trying his best.)

but on a more serious note because i feel like colonnello isn't taken seriously nearly often enough, but i really love how all of this shows just what kind of person he is and what kind of person he chooses to be and stay as over and over again. like he's just so optimistic and believing? not naive or unrealistic, but whenever he looks at the world dead-on and sees nothing worth hanging in there for, he just goes "alright, i'll just have to find it/make it for myself then". like, he could easily also have broke down after the curse like most of the others, but no, he was still breathing and alive, lal was still breathing and alive, and the curse wasn't going to kill them right away so you bet he kept smiling and resolved to find some joy in his life still, which unbeknownst to him gave lal just enough hope she didn't kill herself over the curse.

also he's just such a loving person at his core too? it's how he actually ended up becoming reborn's closest friend, whether they were actually childhood friends or it happened post-curse, and when he had to confront reborn's hitman side he probably just went something like "just don't kill me or the people i care about and i'm sure we can make this work". and of course how he tried to save lal from the curse, how he was there at all to begin with specifically so he could save her from it, and how he planned to get rid of her curse instead of his, and how he died saving viper in the future. and ginger bread taunted lal about it, calling him the failed hero or something like that iirc, but it's literally not about it, and colonnello in fact couldn't care less about being a hero or whatever. he just has his heart in the right place. and if it means dying so he can remain true to it, then sure, he'll die without hesitation, even if he'd rather not and it sucks that he has to.

it's just, like. i've said it before, but the whole curse thing happens to him because he's such a loving person. he was never going to let lal climb that mountain without him, but he could have. if he was just a little less loving, if he just loved a little less devotedly, he wouldn't have been on that mountain at all that day, and his life would still have turned shitty because lal would still have ended up cursed, but nothing would have happened to him. except, of course, he was never going to let lal climb that mountain without him.

and i just?? lose my mind a little over it tbh. and love him for it. i love him so much, is what this post is saying, and we don’t talk about him nearly often at all.

oh and ALSO!! i do mean he's just some guy, i'm not saying he's a normal guy at all. because he isn't lol. he's totally just as unhinged as the rest of the arco, and i mean, he did end up genuinely being reborn's friend one way or another, so there's clearly something wrong with him too lmao

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr meta #khr headcanons #khr colonnello #suicide mention #i was just thinking about how i'm always writing him as just some guy #and why is that #and turns out whenever i think about him pre arco curse and pre army (which btw you /could/ argue isn't a just some guy behavior but also #like. it's common enough you know) i'm always just like 'a guy. he was just some guy before all this i just know it' lol #also i think. this is the first post i write that's /only/ about him???#shameful of me actually #also i was just going for a funny post at first but no we REALLY don't talk about him sseriously often enough come on guys!!!

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rinrinx2 · 1 year

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omg TOW latest update was 🤤 pretty sure the next one’s gonna be juicier

where to start? the wife, the cheater or the mistress?

Nanami - he royally fucked up his marriage with his serial cheating. He doesn’t love his wife because if he really did he would have never cheated (his way of loving her is fucked up). Cheating bc of stress is just bullshit communication is key in a relationship.

The Wife - she deserves only good things/people around her. she hasn’t done anything to deserve to be cheated on. she has tried her best even when nanami was distant/cold.

The Mistress - two words: young and naive. She definitely doesn’t know about Nanami’s previous infidelities, otherwise i think she wouldn’t have fallen for him that easily. Even if she was the only one, during the whole affair nanami told her he would leave his wife AFTER he got his promotion BUT he kept living with her the whole time 🙃 big red flag bc if his intention was to divorce then he should’ve already be separated/living on his own. she was just his little dirty secret… I honestly don’t know what she expects to get from the confrontation with wife-reader. Because even if she tries to blame nanami how come she knows where wife lives in tokyo (they moved not long ago), why would nanami have an apartment for himself if his family already lives there 🫠 something is sus

I saw you might do and alternative ending (Nanami ending) and honestly speaking since there’s two chapters left (Alone being the final one) i don’t know how wife can forgive - specially after the confrontation with the mistress. i have a feeling when the duration of the affair is revealed it will have an impact on wife-reader bc it wasn’t a one time mistake, plus the fact nanami didn’t confess his mistake and if it wasn’t for the mistress that wanted more from him, he most likely would have kept cheating with her - and have happy ending with nanami bc it was never his intention to confess, he was just caught in the act and still denied it 🤷‍♀️ the marriage is broken beyond repair bc wife wouldn’t be able to trust nanami the same way she used to (before finding out the affair). even if she keeps living in tokyo every time he would be late or go away for working reasons a part of her will question him/his loyalty. their kids are old enough to understand what’s going on and they don’t really like their dad, he preferred spending most of his free with someone else instead of with his family

the only way for nanami to actually understand how much pain he has caused his beloved ones is by losing them otherwise he will think he can pull shit like that again (maybe not cheating but lying) and think he can get away with it bc, hey, his wife forgave the cheating so…

but if you manage to make an (realistic) alternative ending after everything that happened then kudos

cant wait for next chapter :)

ps. all of this without even mentioning the other affairs to wife-reader…🫡🫥

pps. sorry for the long ass ask 😳

Literally like Nanami is worst, he treats his wife bad and his mistress. She's literally the mother of his children and he still continues to treat her like a burden.

The mistress no matter how young and naive she is she still knew that Nanami had a wife and she is constantly reminded about it but continued to ignore it to keep herself believing in Nanami

The wife is literally just suffering through it all the moment she starts finding happiness Nanami comes in trying to stop it because if he isn't the cause of her happiness then no one else can be.

The sons are always neglected and literally the last thing on Nanamis mind but it the first thing he mentions when arguing with wife (y/n)

I think the next chapter is going to clear alot of why Nanami does the things he does and his thoughts on why he does it, so I'm really excited to release it. Don't worry it's going to be released soon I'm just busy editing it up.

Thank you for all the support I really appreciate it and these analysis they're amazing omg ❤️❤️❤️😭

#the other woman #TOW

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cryosewn · 2 years

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okay time to actually write many words about caiying ( pt. 1 of whatever bc i love to write things that have no cohesion )

thinking about the contradictions. the complexities. the human nature of it all.

like. ugh. okay so i keep thinking about how caiying doesn’t really open up emotionally to people a lot despite having a outwardly v warm and open personality. she simultaneously believes in the good, the strength and the endless possibilities humanity has and also is v careful with trusting others / letting them in.

because you know what ? underneath all that need to keep people at arms’ length is someone who is embraces kindness and gratitude by nature. though she might keep you as a loved one at a distance, she’ll always be there for you, even if she has to drag her body that’s slowly falling apart across the dirt. she will always have your back. her love and kindness is limitless if you are the recipient of it and definitely to the point where it would be easy to take advantage of her with or without meaning to do so.

while i do think she’s too realistic and understanding of how the world works to be a full blown idealist, caiying for sure has a splash of altruism / humanitarianism in her. she would hypothetically do good work as an advisor or official in charge of making policies because while she believes in the possibilities ( in ingenuity, invention, compassion ) and strength inside people she doesn’t wear rose tinted glasses due to her upbringing and her current family situation.

and she knows she could be bitter and feel justified in that since life didn’t deal her a good hand. she could be mean to people, she could take her anger out on others and reveal her “”tragic backstory”” as a justification but she just ... doesn’t. it’s just not in her to do so. what does she gain from being spiteful and hateful and condescending towards others all of the time for not understanding or being too naive ? it doesn’t enrich her or those around her, and she knows that she’s already trapped herself both in her duty towards her mother and her maternal family and her desire to protect the people around her from the reality that she’s not going to live long enough to make those life long memories others talk about.

that isn’t to say she’s not capable of doing some morally questionable actions if she really has to. it’s just not her first choice. she basically has to be pushed into it with no other alternatives. it also needs to be said that she’s also absolutely capable of turning cold - her anger is icy like the vision at her hip. there’s limits to how far you can push her until she turns into a darker state to fight back against you.

regarding the thing with her mother, caiying knows that she’s basically using up whatever time she has left chasing after the smallest of traces, but she feels like if she doesn’t get to the bottom of it all then she won’t be able to leave in peace. focusing most of her energy, time and thoughts onto this has used most of the life she’s got remaining. she’s very aware because of her distant nature + suppression of her own deep emotions / trauma + her hidden goals she has missed out on certain things others have been able to experience like connections without secrets / holding back with the other, romance, a family, etc. she’s stuck in the past in a way. she can’t open up easily and she knows she won’t stay for long with the people she cherishes, so she indulges a lot in taking care and showing kindness to others. like repaying a drop of water in need with a fountain in return.

caiying is lonely. even without her current family situation ( everyone in her immediate family but her grandmother treating her like garbage / less than / insignificant ), she’s not always able to move around or have enough energy to participate in activities she would like to do. it’s not uncommon for her to spend an entire day in her room just resting and taking medicine. but because she’s lonely and because she has a specific nature, once she becomes attached to someone, you will never be able to get rid of her !!!! she is a ride or die !!!! she is loyal !!!! loving !!!! she’s going to make sure that everyone she loves gets taken care of before her and that they are taken care of after she goes away.

she personally doesn’t care about material things like money or living in luxury. as long as she and the people she cares about can live comfortably and without too many worries, then she can say she died fulfilled in her life. fame, wealth, luxury - she would trade all of that in a heartbeat to get her mom back.

#「。✧ 。」 » character development.#( literally no cohesion i am talking about every theme imaginable in regards to caiying )#she wants a family of her own so bad but it's like ...... she knows she's more than likely going to die around age 30 more or less #so it's like. why start anything with anyone ( romantically ) if she's just going to leave them behind in sadness ???#she remembers how much it hurt her when her mother passed away. she really wouldn't want to do that to her children.#caiying's a good person. but she can also scheme. but she doesn't do it bc she's not like that by nature.#she's a kindhearted person who has aches and regrets like everyonee lse #even if she tries to disguise it by being well-mannered and put together on the outside

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growthpeacelove · 10 months

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Frustrated and calm

that suitor I told you about? My sweet naive mom - she went ahead and used her card for the rental. So how did we spend time together? We went over the very high credit card transactions. Yet another reason why you can’t be too nice like that. Now it’s a problem we have to solve. This is what frustrates me the most about all of this. I hate everything.

Today I spent the day cleaning and organizing with her. I initially wanted to go out and treat her to something nice and of course my mom decided she too had to help - knowing her back would hurt!!! I get so frustrated by her behavior. Like cmon now??? This does not make this a fun weekend. Good lord I might as well leave early tomorrow. I have an open mic in San Carlos and I would rather just go to that to be honest.

I hate how I spent today. It feels pointless. I should have made plans but my guilt? My feeling of I Need To Make Her Happy comes up. And I act on it of course.

My brother and I talked about how we want shared values w our future partner. Again I had to reiterate that I know the kind of person I am when I’m in love - I go above and beyond. I enjoy making my person happy. Is that so wrong then to ask that they do the same for me?

Now that’s why I want to be serious in who I start anything with. I also miss writing morning pages. I’m trying to not be harsh on myself but why oh why do I feel like I haven’t done enough or am behind on everything?

Like make up for example - I have to remind myself - girly - you don’t need it most of the time - you are just trying to compare yourself to girls who have been doing makeup since they were teenagers!!! like you know your life story. Now I do have time to learn if I still care ??

I also feel mad at myself for not having a set schedule for yoga and morning pages and balanced breakfast and gym and everything healthy and fit. Like I should have been a gym babe years ago?? Like girl what???

I have a gym now I can use that. I also can use my ClassPass for more experiences like salsa.

I feel behind financially as if I haven’t been Supporting my family since 20 and I’m just now trying to prioritize!! I’m turning 25 in September fr fr and I believe in myself that I can pay down what I owe.

I will make it out of the poverty I grew up in - it just takes time.

I want to trust my intuition more. This guy is way too erratic and would have been a terrible life partner for me. We both do not need to be this way.

I also felt behind in comedy - like girl - we barely out of the pandemic and you will get a following soon enough. It’s more about - do you really want it?

Driving a car - good lord - this one feels like it’s heavier every time I get older. It’s definitely on my list for sure.

Everyone is on their own path and I need to be nicer to myself and have my own dang back.

I want to spend this summer trying my best. My mom now wants to travel in July and tried to do some guilt tripping - like girl ok whatever. Just do what you want - we are doing what we can out here.

I want to have a fun and fulfilling summer InshAllah. I don’t know what that means exactly. Also YOLO but also not!!! In due time InshAllah I will feel better.

Today I did Reiki session and that was fascinating.

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irresistiibles · 1 year

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@grcycosmcs asked: [ inej ] 𝟎𝟗. 𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐄 ! :

what are your muses goals ? what’s their dreams ? are they intuitive ? do they believe in spirituality and acknowledge that in every day life ? where in life are they most creative ? or are they perhaps, like the planet saturn, bound to reality and don’t believe or acknowledge such things ? those ruled by neptune tend to run away with their goals and ideas and often enough run too fast that they trip, so failure is familar to those who are ruled by neptune. does your muse get too caught up in unrealisitc ideas ? if so, how do they handle the disappointment ? those ruled by neptune are also full of child-like innocence, which can make them come off as naive. does your muse care what others think of them ?

to see if she can find her family. to get out of ketterdam. after that inej isn’t really sure what would come next, but as long as she’s free to go where she pleases and do what she wants she wouldn’t really care. she’s definitely spiritual. her knives are named after saints she believes in and she prays regularly, and prays for everyone she has to kill. it’s definitely not a part of her that she hides. inej is both optimistic and realistic. disappointment is familiar for her and though she has a lot of hopes, she believes in herself and her abilities and her chance for a good future, she’s very good at keeping herself grounded. though i’m not taking anything from season two at the moment i think about how she was able to pull herself out of the hallucination. she knows who she is and what her life is and by keeping herself grounded in that it’s rare that she’s ever seriously disappointed. as for caring what people think about her, i suppose a little bit. objectively inej would like to be a good person who’s well liked, in an ideal world, but that’s not the world she lives in, and again inej is realistic with herself. she cares about the people close to her, that they feel like they can trust her and that she’s someone reliable, and she’ll hope that she’s able to be that type of person to anyone new that she meets, but if it doesn’t turn out that way she’s not losing sleep over it either.

#murder tw #( memes && inej )#grcycosmcs

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alkalinefrog · 2 years

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8. What do you think Sayu would have done if she had gotten the death note?

OH MY GOD you just chose the most HEARTBREAKING question, my poor bby Sayu!!! I think it would have been so interesting if she had picked up the book instead!

Ok picture this. Sayu picks up the notebook on her way from school much like Light did. Just like her brother, she initially takes it as a joke, but inevitably can’t resist the urge to test it on the criminal holding the elementary school students hostage. The difference is that she immediately believes it was her doing--- what are the chances of a freak unrelated heart attack lining up perfectly with the timing of her experiment?? Feeling sick to her stomach, she bolts out of the house and runs to the local park where she spends the next hour spiraling.

This is when Ryuk chooses to confront her, enjoying watching the turmoil he’s caused already. He tells her she can give up ownership, but Sayu having grown up learning from her father about integrity feels too responsible to unleash it out into the world--- what if someone much more malicious than her finds it the next time? She decides to keep it, shoving it into a box and stuffing it deep into her closet and swearing herself to secrecy.

The guilt of taking another person’s life weighs down on her conscience, and much like Light did she falls into a deep depression. She does a good enough job of hiding it from her family at first, but Light immediately notices something wrong. After a few days of it, he finally goes to confront her and the dam breaks. Finally, she breaks down crying and they cling on to each other for dear life.

I’m not sure what the fallout from that would be! A large part of Light’s motivation in turning to his Kira ideology was to cope with the responsibility for his first two murders. He had to convince himself that there was a purpose to his crime, and that he was the only person righteous enough to carry out the will of a god. That framing, however, gets taken away in the new circumstances of his first contact with the death note. I’d be super interested in analyzing how he’d approach it if he didn’t have that moral burden on his shoulders.

Whatever conclusion he comes to though, his first priority would be his sister’s well-being.

------- But let’s also say, alternatively, that Sayu’s been raised to have a similar understanding of the criminal justice system as Light.

Another route could be that she also feels the urge to use the power of the notebook “the right way.” I’m going off of their ages at the start of the manga, so she’s even younger than Light was. I can see her coming to that conclusion after years of listening to her dad talk about criminals that got away or went unpunished by the flawed system.

The thing is though, she’s much more naive going about it. It becomes pretty apparent at first when the only criminals dying by mysterious heart-attacks happen to be in the Kanto region... all discussed at some point by Chief Yagami with his family. The news announces that investigators are sent out to track down the serial killer responsible.

Sayu panics, and her first thought is that to dispel suspicion of her family she needs to broaden the reach of her murders to other countries and starts writing the names of foreign criminals. This sudden spike in global prison deaths then draws the attention of L.

After all of that, she’d still end up going to Light, running to the person she trusts the most and finally asking for help. That part’s just like the first scenario, only now with interpol, the NPA, and her own father on her trail. It’d come down to her big brother to use his brilliance to protect his little sister from even L himself.

It definitely would have been a much different story, focused more around the Yagami family than the more existential themes of canon.

Wow this got out of hand REAL FAST.

For this ask game!

#ask game #head canons #death note #Sayu Yagami #Light yagami #tagging this one because it's long lol #long post #More sibling shenanigans

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yue-muffin · 2 years

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at first, I intended on watching one episode of MIU 404 a night, because that seemed like a good pace. and then i proceeded to binge watch it in the last few days, and got no sleep last night because it was that good.

i feel like it might replace ouroboros as my favorite crime drama?? like, the plot progression was so solid, it was excellent at balancing between the humor and the angst, the heartwarming sequences and the excruciating empty silences of anticipation. and all of the actors and actresses were really on-point and clicked so well with each other. i love the subtle shifts of expression the most, whether during the comedy scenes or emotional ones. Hoshino Gen in particular, I didn’t think he would be this good. whether it was him rolling his eyes and showing his exasperation with Ibuki, or the moment he threw caution to the wind and you could see the emptiness and acceptance in his expression when he put that gun to his head and really probably meant it when he said to go ahead, shoot me. he claims it was a bluff, but Ibuki latched onto the truth there - he was ready to die and fine with it.

the character progression, too, was actually really great. ibuki seriously matured, where it didn’t seem like he would AT ALL in the beginning. and at the end is when it becomes clear that he and shima really needed each other, and their captain realized that, which is why they ended up partnered together. they both just needed someone to be there for them, through thick and thin, someone to pull them up when they fall down and someone to rely on. They spend the whole drama learning to trust each other and others, because despite being quite different in terms of personality they were both in the same boat, not really liked by most of their coworkers and mostly just soldiering on by themselves.

and also ibuki. he learned to not be so naive. he is still very straightforward and honest, and wants to believe in people, but he becomes aware through all he experiences that there will be times belief is not enough. still, the last episodes conclude, that it’s worth trying and believing anyways. the episode that shows the “what if” shima and ibuki didn’t believe in each other (shima trying to protect ibuki by isolating him and ibuki reacting to that mistrust by feeling the need to continue on by himself) was heart breaking and devastating and i am so glad it didn’t end that way.

there’s a lot else to be said about all the other characters – their amazing capitan, kikyo, and her relationship with the woman who she is protecting because the law itself could not? jimba and kokonoe’s father-son relationship?

This show is also really good about keeping little details in, that i probably missed a lot of in my first watch. the most obvious is probably the melon bread truck, that thing has BEEN THROUGH IT. it looked so sad when it got abandoned in a corner of the garage but kokonoe brought it back to save the day one more time! a tiny one i saw in a screenshot was the handcrafted stuffed bunny ibuki is given, which remains on a shelf in their office.

also, kokonoe is my favorite, underneath all the straight-laced propriety is a kid at heart and a cheeky one at that (he’s also super good looking which helps lol...). it’s kinda sad he ends up having to leave for the npa, but it’s definitely suitable for him as well. he's not a character to reveal his inner thoughts readily, but they hint that he doesn’t like it when people bring up that he’s the son of the npa director (? whatever his position is) and seems to try to escape that until the others help him realize that he can utilize the privilege he was born with and can’t do anything about, to help make the system better, a thing the others can’t easily do from their positions.

which brings me to another thing this show excelled at: giving attention to power imbalances in society. things do work out very nicely and everyone gets a happy end, but it also doesn’t gloss over the fact that the flaws in society are there and people regularly turn a blind eye, and it doesn’t offer a magical fix to things even if all turns out well for the cast. it was also kept things rather realistic and grounded. the villains were in it for self-interest, whether that be money or power, but didn’t come off as laughably evil or over the top.

#the muffin's drama watching adventures #miu404 #it was the ULTIMATE japanese buddy cop drama for me #idk what can top this haha

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