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ao3cassandraic · 8 months

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Angels, demons, language, and culture: part 3

(Part 1 and Part 2 for those interested.)

"I play an ineffable game of my own devising. For everyone else, it’s like playing poker in a pitch dark room with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won’t tell you the rules and who smiles all the time." --God, Good Omens

This is just. Creepy and awful and so, so wrong for a quasi-omnipotent being. Ugh. Good Omens!God is an abject horror.

But if you're one of the poker players at that table, what do you do? You try to figure out the rules and mark the cards, naturally. Especially if leaving the table only happens via swan dives into burning sulphur, or getting kicked out of the only home you've known into a hostile desert with lions in it. While pregnant, yet.

So, I did a Bat Mitzvah back in the day, as it happens, and my Torah portion was from Deuteronomy. Which is, as I am hardly the first to notice, chockablock full of rules. Good Omens definitely leveraged (rather than inventing) the idea of trying to figure out Her rules and codify them in writing! Note, however, that the Bible per Word of Gaiman is a human thing. Codifying divine rules? Therefore also a human thing, minus I suppose the Ten Commandments -- though I can certainly envision a Good Omens in which Moses was, um, not exactly telling the truth about the source of the tablets; we only really have his word for it.

Angels and demons, who have a low opinion of literacy and just generally don't seem to be very good at it, never did this. We see that Aziraphale, Before the Beginning, has intuitively figured a few rules out: don't question Her, don't comment on (much less critique) Her decisions or designs, don't ever ever piss Her off. The Starmaker hasn't gotten this far, tragically, and our Crowley remains confused throughout the show as to what rule he can possibly have broken that earned him the identity-changing torture She inflicted on him.

Fundamentally, Crowley doesn't want to -- perhaps can't -- believe that She is capricious and cruel. He thinks there are rules, "don't test to destruction" being a major one. We know he's wrong, however. She straight-up told us so, in the quote at the top of this post! Aziraphale, too, knows, though he buries this knowledge as deep under the words "ineffable" and "Great Plan" (there is no Great Plan, She told us so, it's all a game to Her) as he possibly can -- I think as a coping mechanism -- and does his best to avoid drawing Her attention again after the Sword Incident.

But we see angelic and demonic confusion about the rules of Her game again and again. It's at the root of Aziraphale's successful Great Plan/Ineffable Plan hairsplitting at the airbase. It's why Aziraphale has to (with Muriel's help) dig through the contract for Job, and why Gabriel and Michael can't even be arsed to, even revising Job's reward on the fly. They're guessing! They're guessing about the rules based on what they've seen of Her caprices! She likes sevens!

It's how Crowley rules-lawyers the demons into letting the Whickber Street tradespeople go. If there are actual rules of Heaven-Hell engagement -- and there may not be! Crowley's pulled plausible-sounding lies out of his arse before! -- I'll bet you anything you like practically nobody in Heaven or Hell has actually read them. (My top picks for rules-of-engagement authors, if those rules actually do exist, would be Satan and the Metatron.)

And it's why Uriel has to ask the Metatron, as unsure and afraid as Uriel has ever looked in the entire series, whether the remaining archangels have done something wrong. The Metatron's response refuses to clarify what's at issue -- he, like Her, won't tell anybody the rules. If I'm feeling extremely cynical, I think She and he refuse to explain the rules because they're more powerful if there's no rulebook that rank-and-file angels can use to contest them with.

It makes me so sad. The legions of Heaven would assuredly have followed Her rules, if they only knew what those rules were! Fanart of the just-fallen Starmaker routinely breaks my susceptible heart, not least because the commonest expressions on his face are agony, sorrow -- and confusion. It's just all so damn unfair.

Same with Job, and Peter Davison sells it beautifully. Poor Job assumes he must have broken Her rules somehow, and blames himself for not even knowing how. That's totally on Her, though! If Her rules aren't clear enough for righteous Job to be able to trust his own righteousness under a horrible test, that's Her fault, not his!

The closest that Heaven and Hell -- and humanity, for that matter -- have to Her rules is prophecy. I probably don't need to spill many pixels on how vague and confusing prophecy is, how often it's counterfeited, and how pointless it is to try to live your life by (or trying to avoid) true prophecies; prophecies will invariably gotcha you. Good Omens is hardly the first work of literature to point this out. (Try the story of Oedipus. That's a good one. Yeesh. Or, if we want to be all Biblical about it, Moses again.) Agnes Nutter may well be the only genuinely well-meaning prophet in the entire history of prophets! Even so, her book is incredibly bewildering! Generations of her descendants try to figure it out, and mostly they fail -- look at the annotations we see on Anathema's index cards.

So when @thundercrackfic asks me what Aziraphale gets out of books, my first (though not only) answer is "rules for living." Not just rules for living as safely as possible around Her, though -- rules for living among humans, too. I headcanon (and posited in "Endgame") that Aziraphale has been collecting human etiquette manuals as long as humans have been writing etiquette manuals. Codified rules, like the ones in Deuteronomy, likely help him feel more secure.

I think this is also why Muriel characterizes books as portable people. Muriel is trying their sweet adorable best to figure out the Earth rules on the fly, since nobody Upstairs told them (or indeed knows, the Metatron aside) what those rules are. They do have Aziraphale to help them along -- Aziraphale is so much better than Upstairs! he doesn't condescend or insult, he just gently instructs -- but Aziraphale can't teach full-time, he has other things on his plate. So Muriel the scrivener, one of the few angels who would have a clue about literacy due to the nature of their job, gravitates to books and discovers that they too can be gentle and compassionate teachers.

The final question outstanding is how well Aziraphale understands and assimilates human books, especially fiction, especially especially non-literal figures of speech. It's an excellent and complicated question, and I don't think I have The Answer to it, but I'll see what I can do.

#good omens #good omens meta #rules rules rules #good omens god is a horror #aziraphale #crowley #the starmaker #angel muriel

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babyharleezy · 2 years

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I got a request based off the song Price of Fame by Brent Faiyaz.

Let’s say Jack’s been with the reader for awhile now but he’s got everyone coming at him and saying how he needs to dump the reader because she doesn’t match his image ( she’s more nerdy and not into the spotlight ) and they tell her that she changes her image or Jack’s leaving her ( jack doesn’t know they told her this ) so they take her shopping ( anybody really maybe Neelam and Metta ) and the following day she dresses up all nice and shit and Jack loves it so the reader gets happy and buys more and more nice clothes but in time Jack sees that she isn’t happy or as comfortable in her clothes anymore like she use to be.

THE BIBLE VERSE 😭😭😭 I’m so sorry that’s literally so long

price of fame

bloo's notes: my number 1 hater requested this so i just had to do it for her 😻 i changed it up a bit, i hope you don’t mind!

tag list: @creme-delacreme @harlowcomehome @sealpuptrash @moody4world @thinkingaboutjharlow @harlowsbby @charli123456789 @lcandothisallday @mx-daisy @heavyhitterheaux

your relationship with jack wasn’t a secret, you were with him before the fame. he was always so grateful to have you since you were there from the beginning, he knew you were with him for him and not just his money or fame.

you and jack had so much in common. the two of you both enjoyed reading books on your downtime, but the whole world didn’t know that. the world didn’t see you like jack did. he loved how grounded you kept him, you were smart, beautiful, funny, the list could go on.

many people assumed that you and jack didn’t match each other’s energy. truth be told, the two of you were goofballs when around one another. head over heels in love with each other. but of course, the internet didn’t see what your close friends and family seen.

you couldn’t help but take the mean comments to heart. jack assured you that you didn’t need to change anything about yourself. these people didn’t know anything about you yet they disliked you.

but you knew that a change was needed. you wanted to match his persona a bit more. you knew he was a “nerd” but he didn’t look like one. you on the other hand were more relaxed on your outfits, you focused on comfort. cute but still comfy was your motto. so you mostly lived in jacks clothes and he didn’t mind one bit. he still thought you were the finest person he had ever laid his eyes on.

it seemed as if everywhere you looked, people were telling jack that he should leave you. or that you weren’t good enough for jack. you would be lying if you said that it didn’t cause a strain in your relationship sometimes.

one day you finally had enough of it, you called neelam and metta and asked if they could help you with a little makeover, jack had no idea. at first they were hesitant because they knew the hate comments had been at an all time high but they saw how excited you were and couldn’t not help you.

so after a few hours of shopping and meta and neelam helping you pick the perfect outfits out, you made your way home. since jack was taking you out to dinner, you decided it would be the perfect time to wear the tight fitted, short black dress. it left nothing to the imagination. you paired it with some black high heels, the complete opposite of your beat up air forces.

you made your way downstairs and met with jack. he looked at you, confusion written across his face.

“hey baby, you look beautiful. this is definitely new” he said, touching the tiny black dress.

“figured i would try something new, you like?” you said to the talk kentuckian standing in front of you. he wasn’t buying what you were selling. but he let it go for the time being.

“you always look stunning babe. no glasses?” he asked referring to the missing frames.

“i just decided to start wearing my contacts more” you said with a shrug.

your boyfriend of many years, didn’t understand why you decided to change your style so drastically, so fast.

he could tell that you were uncomfortable the entire night. you were pulling down on your tiny dress which stopped right at your ass. you knew that if you pulled down too much that you would have a nip slip but if you pulled up too much then your ass would be out on display. your shoes were also killing you. but you played it off as much as you could.

slowly but surely as some time went on, your style changed more and more. you wore clothes that showed off your curves and assets. jack never complained but he just knew you weren’t doing this for you.

one night he decided to confront you on it.

“baby can you come here please?” jack hollered from the kitchen. you happily made your way to the kitchen, wrapping your arms around his neck. jack picked you up and placed you on the island, you were sitting right in front of him, his body standing right in between your legs.

“what’s up babe? you okay?” you asked, brows furrowed.

“i’m good. but are you good?” he asked. you were confused now.

“yeahh i’m good? why?” confusion laced your voice.

“y/n what’s going on? why are you dressing different? i can tell this is out of your comfort zone” he asked, his voice softening.

“i thought you liked it? i was just trying something new” you said quietly, not making eye contact with him. now he knew you were lying.

“when did we start lying to each other?” jack asked.

you felt guilty now. “jack. i’m being serious. i just wanted to try something new” you huffed out, you were about to hop off the counter but jacks grip on your sides stopped you from moving.

you knew you had to tell him.

“fine. i was just feeling a little bad. i see all those comments about us. you deserve someone who fits you more. someone who looks like they belong with you. let’s be real, i don’t look like i belong with you.” you said, head hung low, tears threatening to spill out.

“oh baby, i knew something was up. i wish you would’ve told me about this sooner. i didn’t think this is why you were upset. i love you, i only have love for you. you are my girl, forever and always. i don’t care what people say about us. you and i are the same people. just because you don’t dress like all these instagram models doesn’t mean shit. you are the only person who fits with me. i love you y/n” jack said, placing a kiss on your lips.

at this point you were a hot mess, tears streaming down your face and everything.

“i love you jack, i just didn’t wanna sabotage your image or anything so i thought changing my appearance would help” you said.

“nahhh you’re fine a fuck even when you’re wearing my shirt and some of my sweats. especially when you’re wearing my clothes. makes me horny as hell” jack laughed out.

you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his comment.

the hate comments were always gonna be there. it was the price of fame but jack would always be there to reassure that you are always gonna be his. no matter what.

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x you #jack harlow concept #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow fic

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study-with-aura · 2 months

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Friday, February 23, 2024

I am posting this on Saturday because H's mom needed to drop her off early since something came up on her end, so I never got the chance to post my Friday update. We had fun though. I still had my piano practice to do, so while I practiced, she worked on a few things that she needed to finish. On the other hand, she did say that my playing was beautiful, and I was elated to hear.

H also plays, but she goes back and forth between enjoying it and doing it because she wants to be done with it and her mom wants her to at least complete Level 10 and then if she wants to stop, she at least knows how to play extremely well in case she ever wants to come back to it in the future. I told H a while back when that was decided that I agreed with her Mom. It was good to at least have the knowledge as she didn't know what she would want in her future, so she plays often when she's in the mood and not often enough when she has no motivation. It works for her, so who am I to say anything?

I plan on doing ARCT and then I'll feel like I've mastered to where I want to be. I'm a completionist, and I actually do enjoy playing. It's why I'm trying to find more time. I want to finish by the time I finish my HS studies, but I also heard that I need ample time for the ARCT since it's a whole other level. If I pass my Level 9 exams, then I can start Level 10 and plan on completing that by the end 10th grade and then I would have two years to prepare for the ARCT exam. That's my plan anyway. My parents don't really care what I do as long I continue to enjoy playing. It's merely hard to find the time to practice! I can only do it by cutting short my supplemental study time, which I have done, but I don't really need a full 2-3 hours for that since I cut my reading down to only one extra book at a time instead of a supplemental book and a fun book along with assigned readings.

Am I doing too much? Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough at all.

It's time to practice again. I'll try to update about today (Saturday) a bit later.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Reviewed solving systems of equations graphically + reviewed equations of parallel and perpendicular lines + learned to find the distance between a point and a line + learned to find the shortest distance between two parallel lines + practice + honors work

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 16-18 vocabulary + read second part of chapter 26 of Emma by Jane Austen + read about understanding poetry + read about how to analyze poetry + read poems and marked figurative language identified + wrote a short poem using figurative language describing a scene from a photograph

Spanish 2 - Copied new vocabulary

Bible I - Read Joshua 17-18

World History - Watched lecture videos on what and why on the origins of WWI + started writing an essay describing how Balkan nationalism, entangling alliances, and militarism led to WWI (due Monday)

Biology with Lab - Finished my human impact presentation + presented to dad

PE/Health I - Read an article about resources for teen depression and stress

Foundations - Read the definition of resourcefulness + completed one minute creativity exercise + identified fallacies in stories and arguments

Piano - Practiced for two hours in one hour split sessions

Khan Academy - Completed World History Unit 6: Lesson 1 (parts 6-7) + completed High School Geometry Unit 6: Lesson 4 (parts 1-3) + Unit 6: Lesson 5 (some was assigned)

CLEP - None today

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 220-259 of My Dear Henry: A Jekyll & Hyde Remix by Kalynn Bayron and finished the book

Chores - Dusted my bedroom, my bathroom, and the study + laundered my bedding

Activities of the Day:

Personal Bible Study (Matthew 28)

Ballet

Pointe

Journal/Mindfulness

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful to have my friends over again tonight for a sleepover to get ready for our second to last cookie booth tomorrow.

Quote of the Day:

Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.

-Wilma Rudolph

🎧Symphony Op. 11 No. 1 in D major (Overture; 'L'amant anonyme') 1. Allegro - Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges

#study community #study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #studyblr #studyblr community #study-with-aura

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yyh4ever · 2 years

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Megumi Ogata Interview to MANGA VIBLE

This is an interesting interview with Megumi Ogata. She talks about her debut as Kurama, the Yu Yu Hakusho manga, Yoshihiro Togashi, and how Kurama's role affected her first marriage!

Megumi Ogata talks about the genius Yoshihiro Togashi. Find out why the masterpiece manga "Yu Yu Hakusho" is beloved!

youtube

Source: Comic Seymour (August 21st, 2022)

Manga Vible: We will be joined by the voice actress Ms. Megumi Ogata. Thank you for coming.

Megumi Ogata: Thank you for having me.

Part 1: The manga that changed my life!

Introducing the "bible manga" that deeply influenced her to the point of changing her life. We delve deeply into "turning points in life" and "personal experiences".

Manga Vible: What bible manga will you be introducing?

Megumi Ogata: I would like to pick up "Yu Yu Hakusho" because it is the work of my starting point in this industry.

The hero Yusuke was involved in a traffic accident in order to save a child and dies. But, he wasn't supposed to die. His death was in vain. He was told that if he went through some trials, he could be revived, and that's how he came back to life and became a spirit detective. From there, the story gradually turns into a battle manga, typical of Jump.

But, in the anime, this beginning was removed, so it abruptly became a battle anime. My role only begins when there are fights, so I've always had this image of a battle manga.

Manga Vible: I would be very happy if you could tell us how you first came across "Yu Yu Hakusho".

Megumi Ogata: It was the first work I auditioned for.

I was quite nervous to I read it. When I was told I would be playing the role of Kurama, I didn't know what kind of work it was at first, so I went to buy that week's issue of JUMP magazine.

But, on the opening of the "Yu Yu Hakusho" chapter was "Youko Kurama" and I thought, "Is this Kurama!?".

I was amazed to think I would be playing such a scary-looking person. I went into Yu Yu Yakusho from a state of surprise.

Part 2: Yu☆Yu☆Hakusho is so popular that...

An unexpected incident took place!!

Manga Vible: How popular did you feel Yu Yu Hakusho was in the society, at the time it was decided to be animated?

Megumi Ogata: I heard later that it was an extremely popular work.

The first occasion I learned about it, is a highly personal story.

I got married very early on, before my debut, and when I moved from stage acting to a voice acting agency, my schedule changed drastically, it was a mess. My then-married partner got mad. Then, one day we had a fight.

He said: "If you can't get involved in any work that will make you "germinate" as a voice actor within a year, you should quit being a voice actor! Quit your agency and become a housewife. However, if within a year, you get some major role, let's get divorced."

I was like, "Oh, I see, I get it". Then, the next day, I got a phone call saying, "You got the role of Kurama".

When I said, "I passed the test", my partner at the time, who was a Jump reader, left the next day and never came back.

That's when I understood how popular it was.

Yu Yu Hakusho is a very popular work. He knew that the role I got was very popular. So, he said "Goodbye", and left me. I got into this work with the thought: "It's so popular".

Before recording Yu Yu Hakusho, I made sure to read the whole volumes. I only started working after properly reading them.

Part 3: Ogata-san reread it and noticed the "modern-ish" of Yu☆Yu☆Hakusho.

Manga Vile: Were there any parts that you felt were attractive that other works don't have?

Megumi Ogata: It's just really amusing.

Togashi-sensei is a genius.

I think there were parts in "Yu Yu Hakusho" where the teacher's way of drawing and the way he structured the story changed rapidly, and I thought that was interesting as well.

In the latter half of the story, I was like "What is going on?". Somehow, I was trying my best to understand it. Togashi-sensei has a radical side, so when I was involved with Yu Yu Hakusho, I felt like I was desperately trying to keep up.

I read the manga once more for this interview. In the beginning, the story starts like a royal road (T/N: in the classic way of a battle shounen), but then it turns into a battle of wits. That's what's so interesting about it.

I think it's a very modern-ish manga, to the point where it feels like I'm working with current animation.

The way sensei's mind has evolved and changed during those years is amazing. Including that, Togashi-sensei is like a genius. I think he really is an inborn manga artist.

The characters were also very fascinating, not only the main character team, but also the antagonists were all wonderful.

A lot of "Yu Yu Hakusho" CHARACTER SONG ALBUMS were released, and they sold over 250,000 copies. The ones with only the enemy characters singing sold 80,000 copies. The enemies are all fascinating that there were so many people who wanted to hear the songs they sing. I think that the sales numbers is like proof that wonderful characters were created.

Part 4: Portraying Kurama

Joy and Conflict

Manga Vible: Kurama was played by Ogata-san, how did you capture his character and personality?

Megumi Ogata: It was really difficult.

He's a very multifaceted character. But more than anything, the most difficult of all was the idea that, on the inside, he's actually a person who's lived for hundreds of years, but on the outside he's a good-looking high school student. It's a very mentally demanding role.

However, it was my debut work and I was still young, so it was really difficult to say whether I could express him myself.

The more I read the manga the more I thought:

"He's not a newbie like me. Isn't he a character who would be better played by a more accomplished veteran?"

I thought that would be difficult to express.

Sometimes, we say superficial things, or even pretentious things. But, in his case, he doesn't say those things just to try to look cool, a lot is said intentionally and with great significance.

If you end up playing him in a superficial way, the character would instantly lose his charm.

In what way can I put this? It was very difficult to figure out how to grasp his underlying emotions. Therefore, it was really awkward to play his lines.

But, I recorded the new animation a few years ago, and I thought I was Kurama now.

Every time, I was trying my best to make it work while overreaching myself. After 25 years or so, I felt like I've finally gotten used to it and could be the Kurama I really wanted to be. I'm glad I did it.

Manga Vible: Are there any impressive scenes or lines that convey Kurama's character?

Megumi Ogata: I think there are so many that I can't even tell which ones. He's a man who thinks a lot when he talks, so I think it's more important to consider the feelings behind the words he's choosing to use.

I bit off more than I could chew when I played all those lines, but I wonder if I've fed off all this hard work.

Up until the Dark Martial Arts Tournament, he was just a handsome (ikemen) character in an ordinary battle manga.

After that, there were a lot of lines where he sounded like a staff officer/adviser. I remember that tremendously.

Manga Vible: The more you read it, the deeper it gets?

Megumi Ogata: The more I read it, the more I think Togashi-sensei is a genius!

Part 5: "Yu Yu Hakusho" is the starting point of Megumi Ogata

Manga Vible: What did you learn from Yu Yu Hakusho?

Megumi Ogata: "Yu Yu Hakusho" is the basis of who I am today. I think it is no exaggeration to say that I learned everything from this work.

Well, the biggest thing for me as a voice actor was that the sound director at the time was very sensitive to false acting, regardless whether you were a newcomer or a senior actor.

He's the one who told me, "You don't really believe that, do you? There's no need to affected lines. It's useless if you're not in tune with the character."

Because he constantly told me those kind of things, they became the foundation of my work.

I thought being a voice actor was all about being "kuroko", so why are there so many events? And why do I have to publish a photo-book?

T/N: Kuroko are stagehands in kabuki theater. They wear all black, head to toe, in order to imply that they are invisible and not part of the action onstage. Similarly, voice actors, unlike other actors, don't show their face to the public while working.

I was able to build the basis of my current occupation by being involved in this work. It's no exaggeration to say that "Yu Yu Hakusho" was the starting point of everything.

It's all thanks to Togashi-sensei.

Manga Vible: As it is already the 30th anniversary of this work, what kind of people would you like to see reading "Yu Yu Hakusho" now?

Megumi Ogata: Of course, everyone who was reading JUMP back then, but I hope that everyone who has not yet come in contact with Yu Yu Hakusho can read it. It's a work where you can really see the evolution of Togashi-sensei, and the true value of his work. I think it is very interesting!

Even those who have only read current manga, you can enjoy it just as much as the others. There are also various famous quotes scattered throughout the manga that will make your heart tremble. It has so many classic parts. And, I think it's a work that will really cheer you up when you read it. By all means, I hope you will come into contact with it.

For those who have read it a long time ago, I hope you will read it again in commemoration of the 30th anniversary. I think you will enjoy it together with your own memories of that time. It also means looking back on various things.

Yu Yu Hakusho is my starting point, it is the starting point of all of you who read it, and it is a work that has a lot of tips for everyone in the future.

-The End-

#megumi ogata #kurama #yu yu hakusho #shuuichi minamino #togashi yoshihiro #Megumi Ogata Interview Manga Vible #緒方恵美が天才・冨樫義博を語る #コミステ！by コミックシーモア #Manga Vible

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jw-horror-stories · 3 months

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Ooh, I love telling my JW stories!!

1. (tw familial abuse) First off, I was lucky enough to not have had other kids my age in our congregation, so I wasn't really pressured into baptism. I got out when I was 16,it was a bit messy but no comparison to how it would have gone had I been baptised.

2. My mom was actually allowed to get a divorce! But only after she wrote to Bethel. My father was abusive to everyone in our family (my mother as well, but not quite as bad as him). She asked the elders in oir congregation to be allowed to get a divorce, but they didn't allow it. My older sister just turned 18 (I was a toddler, my younger brother a baby) and threatened my mom to go to CPS and try and get custudy for me and my siblings. So my mother wrote to Bethel, told them about everything and they allowed he to get a divorce. It was really messy and we had to go to a different congregation.

3. Said sister was disfellowshipped when I was 4 for having a boyfriend. Until then I had spent almost every day and night either with her or my other sister. From one day to the next I wasn't allowed to see her anymore and basically only then started living with my mom and my brother.

4. My elementary school teacher bullied me for being JW and poor. That's not JW fault (she also did this to the only muslim kid in my class and another poor kid) but it still sucks.

5. When I was 12 two elder (both over 50) talked to me about my nail polish. They said that it was really disrespectful to tempt men like that and asked if I wanted to be a stumbling block or viewed as a whore.

6. I actually don't have much to tell about evolution, because it was only briefly mentioned in my science lessons. The teachers knew about our religion, so I wrote one sentence at the end of the test (something like "scientists believe..., but I believe the bible") and that was done.

6. I do however remember how I debated pro life in politics class. Like the good jw I was I usually didn't really participate in our politics lessons, only enough to get an ok grade. But I cann still feel how my heart was beating because I was so horrified that my classmates were okay with "killing babies" (while praying for God to kill everyone who isn't jw).

7. I also remember when I was 11 (?) and I finally found two friends in school (who I was only allowed to see in school and for schoolwork) that I thought how nice it would be if someone killed them, because then they would be resurrected (also thought that the kindest thing to do would be if one person decided to kill as many people as possible, because they themselves would not get into paradise, but they would help others, because if you have already been resurrected it would be easier to decide FOR the truth). You know, normal kids thoughts...

8. I was constantly terrified that I would have unforgivable thoughts. I always had a "what if..?"-mind, so as a very young child I thought about "what if this is the dream and our dreams are the real world?" "How do we know what's real?" and stuff like that and I always had doubts in my mind (although of course I did everything to suppress them). When I learned that blasphemy was unforgivable and that a lot of stuff is considered blasphemy in jw circles I was even more afraid of my own mind.

9. One time my mom found my brother's Yu-Gi-Oh cards and freaked out because ot would certainly invite demons into our home. (I was slightly better at hiding my stuff)

10. Also, my family is convinced that my father invited demons into our home because he read Stephen King.

11. When I went to 7th grade I had to choose between learning French or Latin. I always wanted to learn Latin because I always had athing for ancient languages and "useless" knowledge. But my mom said that I would only need Latin if I wanted to go to college so I had to choose French. I had 5 years of French, hated every second of it and now that I could actually use it, I have to relearn everything because I forgot everything. Now I really like it btw, but now its purpose is;vt to keep me from acquiring "the wisdom of men".

You're among the more fortunate. This is good.

I'm actually quite surprised they Guv'Body actually relented.

Separating families. Classic Guv'Body technique.

That's messed up. Though sadly I don't have any words of advice regarding teachers abusing students (I'm here for Jehovah's Witness Horror Stories, not School Horror Stories).

Honestly by this point the Elders are most likely projecting their own sexual desires. In layman's terms I think they may be pedophiles themselves.

(You put 6 twice so I'll just merge the two). It's amazing how one's cult programming can bleed into everyday life. I like to think that it's this very same bleeding that caused me to start asking questions.

That's the very same hypothetical I've brought up on at least one occasion regarding logical extremes. Believing that the dead will simply await judgement after Armageddon, etc etc. A horrific proposition, if you ask me.

It's stuff like this that makes it easy to scare people into submission. Make someone unable to trust their own instincts, and they'll cling to anything and anyone who acts as their "leader". A dictator's favourite pasttime.

I've basically just learned never to share my interests beyond the barest of descriptions because of this.

I've heard of several regimes that would try to snuff out literature. They rhyme with "Mittler", "Chtalin", and "Meow".

Reading Latin would've helped you read some of the older Bible literature, and therefore poke holes into JW theology. I FEEL LIKE I SEEN THIS SOMEWHERE.

-Degurechaff, dropping the "Mod" prefix.

#mod degurechaff #jehovah's witnesses #jwhs #jehovah's witness #jehovah's witness horror stories

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thekimspoblog · 10 months

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"Sheepdog" (AKA the Kim Wexler Pregnancy fic) Chapter 1

This story takes place at some ambiguous point after the events of Season 5. At the time of publishing, Season 6 hasn't aired. So if you're not caught up, spoilers abound.

Also, Rhea Seehorn, on the rare chance you're reading this... don't. This was written by a lonely crazy person, and posted to a website notorious for being full of perverts. Some celebs get a kick out of reading the bizarre situations their fans would put them through. But if not... turn back now you've been warned.

Close up on the passenger's side of a black BMW. The tinted window rolls down. Kim leans out and holds a pair of binoculars up to her eyes. She surveys the parking lot of the gas station, then pans over to focus on the endless desert that stretches out behind the convenience store.

Jimmy leans over, squinting a bit to try to follow her line of sight. He asks, “Do you think we’re being watched?”

Still preoccupied with looking around, she hesitates to answer, “No… But remind me again what we’re doing out here?”

Jimmy turns around to fish something out of the slightly disheveled stack of papers he has crammed between the driver’s seat and the car door. “This!” he hands a neatly creased Hallmark greeting card to her, “I got this in the mail two days ago”.

Kim sets the binoculars in her lap and opens the card. Inside, the card is printed with an illegibly loopy bible verse scrawled at the top. And underneath there is an illustration done in a somewhat tastefully abstract style: on the left-hand side, there is a meadow full of flowers with a single lamb grazing amongst them. On the right-hand side, there is a mountain towering over the field, and at the peak, a wolf is howling. But that’s not all. In black pen, someone has scribbled a very crude cartoon of what looks like a dog standing guard in between the lamb and the wolf. And underneath in the same black pen, the anonymous sender had neatly written an address. The address of the gas station they were currently staking out.

Jimmy taps on the cartoon dog with urgency. “You see that?! When I was a kid, scammers were constantly coming into my dad’s store and taking advantage of him. One of them, I’ll never forget, looked me in the eye and told me there were only wolves and sheep in this world. Now thirty years later, I get an anonymous letter, in a whole other state mind you, telling me there are also dogs that guard the sheep. That’s not a coincidence”

Kim furrows her brow “I think you’re reaching. Jimmy, this barely even looks like a dog”

“Kim! I never told anyone else about that conversation. You’re the first”

“So what? You think this one con-artist, decades later, sent you a cryptic letter telling you to meet him at the edge of Albuquerque. To what? Say he’s learned the error of his ways?”

“Well I don’t know! If you’re so smart, tell me what you think it means?”

“Assuming you didn’t just get someone else’s mail by accident? … It sounds like a trap”

“It’s not a trap”

“Seriously?! Whoever sent this, they got us to wait at a remote location, in a car hiding three-hundred-thousand-dollars in unlaundered cash, a bloody shovel, and a gun with BOTH our prints on it. And you don’t think this could be a trap?” She shook her head and peered out the window again. “If the Salamancas are behind this, there are any number of ways this could go pear-shaped”

“Nah. This isn’t the Salamanca’s MO. If it was them, they would have already swarmed us. Besides, even if no one meets us here, I’ve got a plan”

Kim unbuckled her seatbelt “Tell me after I come back with a slushie. We don’t know how long this will take, and it’s hot today. Do you want anything?”

“Wait! Don’t go in there! I haven’t told you the plan yet!”

She slumped back in her seat “Which is?”

“My thinking is, this card was warning us about some heist or large-scale hustle that’s about to go down here. Now we’re like the sheepdogs. We assess the situation, identify any shady characters, figure out what they’re pulling, we turn it around on them, and save some poor honest cashier from having his hard-earned money stolen. Save the day, and we walk away with whatever we’re able to con the con-artists out of, burning a hole in our pockets”

Kim scoffed, “That’s it? Hope a grifter shows up and just intercept him? Yeah I’m going to buy some snacks. If that happens, I think I can handle it on my own. You wait out here and keep watch”

“Well yeah but…” Jimmy whined.

“But what?”

“But… I kind of wanted to do it. Seeing as how it’s MY tragic backstory and all?”

She shook her head and chuckled, “It will be fine. Be right back”

“You know there are no blue fruits!” Jimmy called after her as Kim got out of the BMW, “Not even blueberries. That blue raspberry in there? It’s probably dyed with aluminum”

Kim smiled at him, “Mmm. And it tastes SO GOOD”

After waiting a beat, Jimmy picked up the binoculars and watched his wife walk towards the automatic doors. He focused on admiring how well those black slacks fit her. Two-thirds of the way across the parking lot, she suddenly whipped around and glared at him, her hands on her hips. Her arched eyebrow shot him a look that said, “I can see what you’re doing. Are you serious?”

The edge of his mouth curled into a smirk. He couldn’t help it. He was just one man after all.

Once his partner in crime had disappeared into the store, something shiny glinted in the peripheral of the binoculars. Something was beckoning to him near the dumpsters which looked out over the dunes. Was it a chip bag? A lost hubcap? A sparkling new dime? Whatever it was, it probably wasn’t worth the effort to investigate. But a combination of boredom and curiosity soon found him ambling towards the dilapidated concrete patio at the edge of this rest stop.

At first, the source of the flash was nowhere to be seen. But after a couple of seconds of looking around, Jimmy’s eyes landed on something peeking out from the shadow of the receptacles. He picked it up and started to dust it off on the side of his pants. It was a flat piece of silver colored metal. The shape had been cut into the outline of a wolf, with its head low and its front leg raised, as if it was intently pointing towards something. Maybe it fell off a wind vane? Consumed with studying the piece of debris, he absentmindedly continued to shuffle back out of the shadow of the building again. When the first rays of the sun landed on the metal fragment, it illuminated an insignia stamped onto the heart of the wolf; a small circle with a wasp in the center. Like a vampire handling a cross, his eyes grew wide at how instantaneously the steel went from cool to burning his fingers, and he dropped it, only for it to make a horrible clatter as it bounced again and again against the pavement. He smoothed his hands on his shirt while cursing under his breath.

He anxiously surveyed the parking lot. There was no clear view of the store’s entrance from this side of the building. But at least he was able to see if any other cars were pulling in or out from the highway. So far, it was still just his BMW and three cars at the far end of the lot, which it was safe to assume belonged to the employees. He reached into his jacket pocket and began to light a cigarette. He looked at his watch out of habit, but then remembered he had never bothered to wind it. He turned around again to look out over the desert, but then he froze.

A coyote was close. Very close. He stayed perfectly still, still wondering how the animal could have come out of seemingly nowhere. Fear relaxed a little back into curiosity when it became clear the dog wasn’t interested in hurting him. In fact it almost appeared injured; the way it dragged its body low against the ground seemed mewling and unnatural. But just as he was about to feel pity for the creature, it pounced, catching a tiny green/brown lizard in its teeth. It snapped and slurped savagely until the limbs of its prey stopped twitching in protest. And then seconds later, it was gone without a trace.

The enigmatic beast continued to pay him no mind as it stalked over to the dumpster and wrestled a half-empty plastic bottle of water out of the trash. The plastic crinkled first, but eventually yielded to the dog’s sharp fangs, and the contents spilled out into a puddle with a loud “POP!”

“It probably would have been a nice thing to do, if I had bought a bottle of water and poured it out into a bowl for the old girl” he thought as he watched the stray feverishly lap up the spill.

He hadn’t made a single sound to provoke it, but suddenly the coyote’s head snapped up and her eyes locked with Jimmy’s. They weren’t threatening. They weren’t begging. The wild animal just stared at him with almost human intelligence. It was as if at any moment, the teeth could separate and a full soliloquy would come out. Every fiber of its being was determined to impart something onto him. But what?

Then a single thought materialized in Saul’s mind; “Something’s gone wrong inside the convenience store”

__________________________________

Compared to the heat outside, the inside of the gas station felt like a freezer. It was a welcome change at first, but now Kim couldn’t help but keep wandering back to the countertop, where the heat lamps glowed on rotating racks of hot dogs and soft pretzels. Both of which smelled a little too greasy and sour for comfort. “The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde” by George Fame and the Blues Flames was playing over the tinny-sounding retail speakers. Seemingly the only other person in this desolate storefront was the cashier, who kept looking up from his magazine irritably to check if she was actually planning to buy anything. Then she saw it. A person, either a woman or a short man, was obscured head to toe in a dark red cloak, and was slowly gliding from one aisle to the next. It was far too late for this to be a Halloween costume. Too early for Mardi Gras. She wracked her brain trying to remember if she had heard mention of any other festival taking place locally.

Kim kept her distance. She’d casually shuffle to one corner of the bodega, then the other, always opposite the caped figure, and always trying to steal a glimpse of any facial features peeking out from underneath the hood. She’d already picked out a bottle of iced tea, a bag of chips, and a small pack of sanitizing wipes; really she should just pay and leave already. But Jimmy could be heading in to meet her at any moment, and besides, the mystery shopper was continuing to block the exit. There was a display rack of greeting cards next to the refrigerator case of salads and sandwiches. For a brief moment, she thought she saw the same card her husband had received earlier. She stood on her tiptoes to pull it free from the precarious wire cage, but when she finally was able to look inside, the card bore a different poem, and a different illustration of a wolf howling atop a snow flecked mountain. She sighed and placed it back in an incorrect but easier to reach space on the display.

The path to the door was clear for the moment, so she started to pick up the pace as she drew closer to the checkout. But just as she reached the end of the refrigerator case, something blindsided her, catching her in the shoulder and sending her items flying. Kim didn’t lose her balance, but she watched the contents of a fruit cup hit the floor. Purple and green grapes bounced, dribbled, and rolled away in every direction, like a cascade of superballs. Disoriented, an instinct for civil politeness took over.

“Sorry!” our heroine blurted out.

She hastily scooped up the plastic bowl and what few pieces of fruit hadn’t made contact with the shoemarked linoleum. The chip bag and the packet of wipes were in reach, but the iced tea was gone. A masculine-looking hand offered the bottle back to her.

“Thanks!” she exhaled while trading the dropped objects. “Wait…”

It felt like she couldn’t raise her head fast enough. But there it was! A white grinning mask, brown eyes shining from behind the holes, and the figure was covered in a red cloak. The assassin grabbed her by the wrist and stabbed a needle into her forearm.

“Get off of me!” she yelled, whipping around to see if the disinterested cashier had even seen what was happening.

Finally she heard the man shout “Hey, what’s going on back there?!”

The mask whispered in her ear, “You’re pregnant now. Thirty-six hours”

Before she could even reply “No!” the hand let go and the creep was running away, hiking his robes up to reveal baggy black pants and sneakers.

“Lady, what happened?” the idiotic cashier said obscuring her view.

“Chase him!” Kim snapped, pushing the guy out of the way. The red assailant had managed to put yards between him and her, and the distance was growing. Heels were a bad choice for a stakeout. The monster passed through the glass doors and once it was out in the glare of the sun, it made a hard left and was out of view. She kicked her shoes off, but the stitch in her back and her side only continued to get worse. She had to stop to catch her breath.

This alone was worrying; she’d been jogging two miles at least once a week, even barefoot, she knew she could cross the length of the store without breaking a sweat. She leaned up against the wall next to the exit. Any minute, she would go back to chasing this figure. She’d tell Jimmy what happened, and they’d follow him in their car if she had to. Although if she’d been poisoned, she needed to go to the hospital… She could smell the rank grease of the hotdogs all the way over on the other side of the store. It had been bothering her this whole time but now it was hard to ignore. The cracking the links made as they rotated on the metal rods felt like it was getting louder. They were an artificial shade of pink with oily brown charcoal streaks painted on them. Where did they even get this crap?! The whole thing made her want to… Her stomach flipped, and her hand flew to cover her lips. She was going to gag. Turns out she was still able to run quickly enough to make it to the women’s bathroom.

She stood gripping the edges of the sink for a few minutes. Every time she was starting to hope it had passed, another fit of dry-heaving forced her to lean over the basin again. She rinsed her mouth out under the tap, splashed water on her face, and then stared into the mirror. The fluorescent lighting in the truckstop restroom called attention to the dark circles under her eyes. They hadn’t been there when she walked into the store. Kim looked at her cell phone. Even if there was any reception out here, something in her didn’t want to get Jimmy involved right away. She needed a moment to plan her next move alone. The cell phone increased to one flickering bar as she slowly walked out of the recessed hallway back to the aisles. She snatched a large bottle of water from the nearest fridge and took a few apprehensive, guarded sips. The shop looked empty, with not even the cashier at his post, but she was feeling paranoid now, and she had every right to be. It was hard not to notice, that the “Reproductive Health” aisle was only a few feet away, so still barefoot, she fleetly slunk past the racks of condoms and tampons, and pulled a box of “First Response” from the lower shelf, fumbling to grasp it for a split second. Equally as swiftly, she retreated to the wall next to the bathroom door. Kim exhaled nervously while reading the instructions on the back of the box; one more suspicious glance at the empty interior of the building, and then she tilted the hefty water bottle up and took a deep swig.

Her foot wouldn’t stop tapping while she sat cloistered in the toilet stall. Her whole leg was bouncing up and down. In her left hand, her phone was poised to dial Jimmy’s number, though the call wouldn’t get through. She withdrew her right hand from between her legs and stared fixated at the test stick. Two pink lines. Two. She nearly burst out laughing. She flipped her phone closed and held it to her forehead. There were better places to process all this than a dank public lavatory, so she finished up and went to wash her hands.

The minute she crossed the threshold out of the ladies room, Jimmy was all over her.

“My god! Kim! Are you okay?”

“I think I am…” she answered as she looked into his concern-ridden eyes. She still sounded shocked and uncertain herself.

“The cashier said there was some sort of attack. A man in a cape? Kim, I’m so sorry. This whole thing was such a bad idea”

“It was my idea to go in here alone. I should have realized- what are you doing?!”

Jimmy had his own phone out, and it was already dialing “I’m calling 911” he said breathlessly.

“Put that away! Are you crazy?! If you call emergency services, they’ll send police cruisers. And we CANNOT have police see us driving THAT CAR!”

“Are you SURE you’re not hurt?”

“I’m fine. The safest thing for us is to go home as soon as possible. We need to… recalibrate”

“You’re sure?”

“I promise!”

“911. What’s your emergency?” the man’s voice came across the speakers, cutting in and out severely.

Jimmy’s mouth was dry, but he put the phone to his ear and bleated “False alarm. Sorry” before hanging up.

She handed him the big bottle of water and they looked at eachother, afraid.

He kept his arm over her shoulder the entire time as they made their way to the sliding glass doors, and though this didn’t do much for Kim’s sense of security, she held onto him, because in truth she was starting to feel dizzy.

“Wait!” she said just before they exited the store. She broke free of his embrace and scooped up the shoes she had earlier taken off.

“We can go to the hospital. It’s really not a big deal” he was still saying to her as they stepped out into the glare of the New Mexico sun.

“I’m not against it. But we still need to stop at the house first, and switch to a vehicle that’s more not-full-of-staged-evidence”

“That part was my fault. I don’t know what I was thinking taking the BMW on an unrelated stakeout”

“Well you never know when we were going to run into Tuco. I figured it was better to have the trap set up at a moment’s notice”

“We’re going to be juggling multiple schemes at once, we really need to stay organized”

“Do we need to hire a second assistant for the under-the-table business, or do you think Franchesca could be converted to the dark side?”

“Look!” Jimmy interjected, frantically pointing out into the desert.

Kim straightened up and squinted out towards the dunes. A sandstorm was picking up, but a flashing light was cutting through the billows of dust. At the peak of an especially high hill of yellow-white sand, a masked figure draped in flowing red robes was looking down on them, its arms spread victoriously wide. He was holding a mirror, and reflecting rays of the sun into beams, which shot down onto the gas station’s parking lot. One of the unsteady beams grazed the shadowed side of the dumpster, and then it landed on the insignia of the steel wolf, which was still littering the concrete patio. The mystery person did what looked like laughing, although the sound didn’t carry, and then turned and disappeared behind the drift.

Jimmy could feel the way Kim’s shoulders tensed up, like she was poised to chase the assailant all over again. But he assured her “We need to get home”

#mcwexler #better call saul #rhea seehorn #slippin kimmy #kim wexler #jimmy x kim #mcwexlerjr #jimmy mcgill #saul goodman #better call saul fanfic #fluff #character study #bcs spoilers

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dailyaudiobiblechronological · 2 years

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6/2/2022 DAB Chronological Transcription

Song of Solomon 1-8

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I'm Jill. Today is the second day of June, and it is my joy to be here with you as we read through the Bible in chronological order. And we do that every day until we get through the entire Bible together in a year. Today we are reading the Song of Solomon, and maybe you're new around here. You're in for a little treat. This is known to be the steamy book in the Bible. And so the way that we do it around here is I invite my husband to read the steamy book together with me. So there's a little bit of a dialogue between a man and a woman, and then you all are responsible for your own lives and your own actions after that. That's all I'm going to say. How do we read this or how do we hear this? That's a great question. You can hear this, however, the Holy Spirit speaks to you. Some people hear this as a literal transaction between three people, King Solomon, a Shulamite woman and a shepherd. And then other people hear it as figurative poetry of God and his Church. And listen. When we create so much shame around certain topics in our culture, then it can be very uncomfortable to hear intimate dialogue. I would ask you to stay with it. If you are even in a season of longing and want and desire, and this is difficult, I ask you to not look away, do not push pause, do not push past this day. Allow God to say and do in your heart what he would like to. And we miss opportunities for that to happen sometimes with our avoidance, with our pushing away or looking in a different direction. Don't look away, stay present and allow God to do something in your life today. Okay? Without any further Ado, Song of Solomon, Chapter One.

Prayer

Father, we thank you for your word. And we thank you for love. Thank you for your love. We thank you for love of a human kind. And we thank you for love of an extraordinary, supernatural kind. And I pray for every person that this may be difficult for them to hear because of the longing. We know that you are the lover of our hearts and our souls, but there are times that we long for a tangible human being to love us in the way that you love us. And then sometimes we fall so short. We come up so short from getting this love correct, the way that you taught us to give ourselves, to serve of ourselves to one another, in the way that you came to serve the Church. We know that you are the healer of our brokenness. And I pray that you would come to every broken heart today, every person in longing, and every person in distress and just be so near as you do so beautifully to those that have may we not take for granted what we have. And we thank you for loving us far beyond anything that we could have ever asked, far beyond anything that we deserve, and far beyond anything that we can fathom. But we are grateful. We pray this now in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen. I look forward to turning the page with you tomorrow. Until then, love one another.

Community Prayer Line

Dear DABC friends and family, this is adopted by God in Illinois. I want to call and say praise reports for several of my friends that I had asked you to pray for last month. My friend in Chicago is out of the hospital and into rehab and doing well, and I praise God for that. My two friends were battling Cobid at advanced age. I have recovered, but I have another dear friend of an advanced age battling covid. Now, for the third time this year, I have my best friend who has been dealing with afibrillation in her heart for three months, who has just been told by her doctor it would be at least three weeks before he can possibly adjust medicine again or put her in the hospital to try treatment. She is totally, physically, mentally exhausted. Everyday living is exhausting, so I pray for her. Lord, I pray for my children and ask all of you to pray for them. Each of my children are at a precarious point in their lives, walking on the edge of disaster in one way or another, walked away from their faith in God and the morals they were raised with. So dear, precious, dear ones, please pray for all of these and pray for me as my canceled surgery for my back surgery has left me depressed. Thank you in advance. God bless.

Hello, DABC family, this is Diana from Florida and I want to pray for all of the victims of the recent Texas shooting that occurred this week. This is Friday, May 27. Dear Jesus, I come before you, Lord, with the DABC community just lifting up all of the parents, all of the children that entire school, Lord God in Uvaldi and all of the administrators and staff that were involved in this horrific tragedy. Dear Jesus, I pray, O Lord God, that you would bring comfort to them all, Jesus. Father, that you would help this community to heal from this very traumatic event. Dear Jesus, I pray that this would be an opportunity for your gospel to be spread amongst those that don't know you, O Lord God, within this group of people, I pray, Lord God, that you give the teachers and the administrators the wisdom and strength to be able to love on these children during this time. I know that school is now over. And Father, I just pray that you would guide this community, especially now that school is over and what the appropriate steps are to take to help them heal. Father God, for all those that are first responders that were involved. All those that were like police officers that were involved. I pray that you would be with them as well. Thank you, Lord God, for all that you do. In Jesus name, Amen.

Oh, Whitney, you sound depressed. You sound hopeless. You have a collapse disc in your back and you've been sick for two weeks and you may possibly be fixing to lose your home. You've got three kids and you're single. Dearest Lord, please be with Whitney. Please heal her and make her whole again and well and healthy. Please give her hope and please heal the situation. Please fix the situation with her house so she doesn't lose it. She's got three Littles and she needs to be able to keep them housed and fed and healthy and happy and raise them. Give them a normal childhood. Please fix this situation, dearest Lord and please make Whitney whole and healthy again. Please walk with them through the next however long it takes to get everything squared away more trusting than you. Whitney is completely helpless to fix this and she needs your help. This is when like the man who waited for 38 years by the pool and Jesus asked him, why haven't you? What do you need? And he's like, nobody's been here. Nobody has been able to help me get in the pool. He's like, okay, get up and walk. You're well again and that's what we need right now for Whitney. Thank you so much for your outrageous faithfulness. Lord. We love you so much, Whitney, we love you. Please hang in there. Hold on. Eat well. Rest to get your rest. Honey, this is your friend Adrian from Maryland.

Hi Daily Audio Bible Community this is my first submitted prayer request asking for you to pray for my family. Please pray for my dear husband who has not walked with the Lord faithfully and has some mental illness challenges. Please also pray for my daughter as she is feeling the weight of his absence from our home. It's a very hard and complicated situation, but praying that God's peace and his understanding will continue to surround our lives right now. Please pray for my sustenance and faithfulness to the Lord. Thank you. Bye.

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angelquts · 26 days

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creating a journal post abt what ive been having to live thru for the past few weeks to help organize my thoughts and for the morbidly curious/friends who want to know about the situation. i will preface this by saying if anyone reading this has experience with psychosis/helping people with psychosis come to terms with their condition please try and get in touch. i truly feel like im nearing the end of my rope. i have messages turned off for anyone i dont follow but my askbox is always open if youd like to reach out.

about a year ago my mother pulled me aside and told me she's started hearing voices and seeing orbs/lights dance in her vision. she didnt tell me this out of any concern - quite the opposite actually; she dubbed this a spiritual awakening and said that this was start of a new phase of her life. personally i immediately dismissed it as she's always been a spiritual/superstitious person on account of her mother. never really been attached to any religious practices despite her devout belief in god. aside from that, she started burning sage around the house every day but that stopped within a week or two. she also went to visit some mediums/psychics/tarot card readers but ultimately this all stopped pretty soon after it started.

fast forward a few months (november/december) and she tells me the same thing, that she's been hearing voices and seeing visions of jesus christ come before her and impart wisdom. again i just kind of dismissed it, though i started to worry that this was eventually going to become something more.

about halfway through february she tells me the same thing that she's told me the past few times, but told me her "spirit guides" have been telling her times and dates to write down and that she's seen visions of the future. she started keeping a journal because she had been told to keep track of. when she wasn't around, i looked into her journal and it was mostly incoherent writing and scribbles. at this point i was finally snapped into some form of concern for her, but when i tried to suggest to her that it might be something mental going on with her she immediately shut me down insisting that she's "not crazy". i submit to the fact that i can't really help someone who refuses help and that my #1 goal should be to leave her and this house behind. over the course of the next few weeks, she takes up a sudden obsession with the religious; going to the library and borrowing bibles, going to church, listening to contemporary christian - all very stark and sudden changes because she's been essentially spending the past 4 years locked indoors glued to the couch watching tv and scrolling her phone. she also completely stopped using her phone, saying she "can't look at it" and that it leaves her "too open".

about 2 weeks ago, wed march 20, my mother comes to me and apologizes to me, saying that she's sorry for anything and everything awful she's ever said to me. immediately alarmed, i assure her everything's alright and that she has nothing she needs to apologize for. after talking to the rest of my family, they all said that she had reached out to them in a similar fashion to apologize and make amends.

the next day, thurs march 21, my mother does not speak to me for the entire day. she brings in a priest to say some prayers and bless the house. she does not eat anything and drinks virtually no water all day long. i manage to lock eyes with her for a split moment, but she immediately looks away as if in fear. after around noon, my mother starts going on these long walks throughout the neighborhood, being gone for several hours at a time. whenever she does come back, she takes a short shower and then leaves again. she's always within eyeshot of the house so it's never really a concern. she eventually comes back inside around 6:30pm to tell me to fix something for myself for dinner, then leaves right after having a single stick of celery with some hummus. around 8:30, the sun has already set and im concerned, so i go out on foot to look for her and task her boyfriend to lap around the neighborhood in the car to look as well. he does express some concern with her behavior, saying she keeps telling him that her "spirit guides" are telling her to walk. after about 20 minutes of looking, i find her right around the corner of the street. as soon as she spots me, she turns around and gestures for me to go away. i follow her at a steady pace, making sure not to run/chase her in case i upset her. she has short legs, so after a few minutes of walking im able to catch up with her. she's in tears, bawling, and muttering biblical passages under her breath. i attempt to reach out for her a few times and she swats me away angrily, but never speaking to me or responding to me asking her if she's alright/asking for an explanation/etc. long story short, after about an hour of chasing her through people's backyards and finally calling the police, she arrives home of her own accord and says to me "you really ought to trust your mother more". she refuses to explain herself, simply saying that we'll understand soon and that this is an act of repentance for her. i implore her to allow us to take her to a therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist/whatever to which she agrees, saying she's in her right mind and, again, "not crazy".

the next morning, fri march 22, i awake and she is gone again. her boyfriend says that she had left in the middle of the night when he was asleep, but that she was saying that her "spirit guides" were telling her to walk again. part of me can't blame him for not attempting to stop her bc she could have hurt him or herself, but also wish he were expressing even a single modicum of concern (she had been gone for nearly 6 hours at the time that i woke up and he said he was planning to look for her in an hour). we call the police again who are of little to no help, and eventually after nearly 12 hours being away from the house, my mother crests the hill and returns home, covered head to toe in mud, wearing long clothing, a hat, gardening gloves, and knee-high boots. upon bringing her inside, she is shaking and sobbing, saying she "did everything they said", "god betrayed me", "god abandoned me", "the dark one's coming to take me", "i wore two hats so they wouldnt find me", "they want me to go out again", "theyre crawling on me right now", and many other things that were frankly fairly traumatizing lmao. spending the next hour or so bringing her down, she says that she left around 2am because her voices told her to go hide, that this was some test to prove herself. she reportedly spent about 7 hours laying in a thicket not 1 block from the house (she still had marks, cuts and scratches on her face and legs from laying on the ground) and submerged herself in the nearby retention pond. concerned for her safety with her already expressing desire to leave again that night, i send her boyfriend to get an ex parte court order to have her involuntarily hospitalized. that is eventually rejected, but we find a nearby 24-hour voluntary mental health clinic that my mother (thankfully) agrees to spend some time in; not for any concern for herself (after she is all calmed down, she refers to what happened as "just a spirit walk" and insists that she was never in any danger), but to appease me and her boyfriend who are concerned for her wellbeing.

she spends about 5 days there (fri march 22 - wed march 27), at one point being detained involuntary after the doctors decided she was incompetent and unfit to decide on care for herself. ultimately, the lead doctor decides she was just "expressing her religion in her own way" and that she does not need mental care, only that she needs to spend more time with her family. unfortunately, i dont have any say on whether she is admitted for longer, so she is brought home that wednesday. later that night, at around 1am, she comes into my room and tells me that she's scared. she says she experienced an apparition of a demon coming up between her arms on her chest, much like the one that she had experienced the previous friday when she had left early in the morning. this was the first time she told me about this apparition. i spent the next hour or so calming her down and assuring her that she is safe.

thurs march 28, my mom reaches out to some religious zealots in the area, convinced that they can rid her of these demons that are attacking her. this culminates in a video call at midnight that cost $300 with a man who told her these voices she is hearing are that of the devil and that listening to them is ruining her life (ive avoided addressing her hallucinations/delusions but this seemed to snap her out of it somewhat). he performed some sort of meditative ritual with her and told her to shower after the call and treat it like a baptism. she seemed exhausted, went to shower and then went to bed. she then spent the majority of the night (2am-6am) pacing around the house and repeating (shouting) this prayer this man told her would keep her safe.

fri march 29, my mom says she acknowledges that everything that happened last night was nonsensical, including her own shouting and raving, and says what really helped her was this man telling her that these voices are garbage, and someone else she had texted the previous day (a woman named valentina, who turned her onto this religious zealot man) gave her a lot of helpful grounding techniques to keep her focused on reality. she kind of spends the remainder of the day on her own, meditating and relaxing after the past few stressful days. at this point she seems to have come to peace with her situation and has come to a place of self-awareness regarding these voices/hallucinations (still not acknowledging that she needs help, but realizing that this is a problem and she isnt being spoken to by the voice of god). that night, she got up and shouted/pounded on the walls about 6 or 7 separate times. a lot better than previous nights but still horrifying to have to wake up to.

sat march 30, another fairly normal day overall, she expresses some concerns to me that she's been overthinking (one big thing she had been repeating to herself on that friday she left and came back was that she "thinks too much" and that was, according to her, why god was upset with her). aside from that, she gets her first full night of restful sleep in weeks, no shouting or raving.

sun march 31, yet another normal day, only abnormal thing being that she seemed to be overoccupying herself. another quiet night as well.

mon apr 1, spend a day out with my mom running errands and things, again somewhat concerned about the level at which she is overexerting herself. i express this to her and tell her she says whenever she relaxes her mind wants to race.

tues apr 2, again, a day of my mother overexerting herself throughout. i dont think she ends up spending a single moment siting down.

wed apr 3 (day of posting), a gloomy day weather-wise which seems to upset my mom (she has previously expressed the belief that she can control the weather). she spends the morning out, going to the gym and taking the dog to the groomer, but comes back in a bit of a daze. does not speak to me despite multiple attempts to grab her attention (she almost pretends im not there), spends about an hour standing outside and gets rained on, comes inside to take a hot shower and comes out of it shaking and moaning (like she was when she had come back after spending a night in the woods). insisted that she was okay and that what she's going through is spiritual, not mental. again expresses concerns over using her phone, saying she's "too open". spends the rest of the day in a daze on the couch. can only hope tonight is a quiet night.

dont really know how to wrap this up, can only ask for words of support/guidance if anyone has them. genuinely have not been this stressed out about anything in my entire life and hope that i will never have to be this stressed again. frustrated in trying to get help for this woman who i love more than anything in the world and she not only insists she's completely fine, but actively refuses any and all help. really feel like ive done all that i can but i know that what leads people in these situations to getting worse is their loved ones giving up on them.

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meg96 · 5 months

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Day 1/7 of fast

I tried to start yesterday but I think mentally I put too much introspection on my plate for it to be successful. I did some laundry today and that was about it, played Neopets and only thought about writing.

Yesterday I had planned to write a journal entry. I am fasting for mental and spiritual reasons, nothing to do with my body or even necessarily physical health. I drank aspartame today which was a mistake. I also had a cup of warm chicken broth with soya sauce, garlic and cayenne. I told my mom and she said come Christmas if they don't stop bombing Palestine she was going to fast, too.

I'm really hoping to have some dreams that help heal me and guide me to right action. I won't go into detail here because it's my intention to make this a safe and happy place this time around. I want to reblog things that bring me joy and peace, which is hard because I'm naturally drawn to darkness and morbidity. I want this to be a simple pleasures kind of blog and I don't want to spend the rest of my life in the dark, afraid and sad. I need to curate a mental state that stops me from having nightmares and shaking in bed, and a big part of that is confronting the situation that lays before me. I need to trust in my own heart.

Another part of my fast has not just been going without food, but deleting social media apps for the week and trying to stop using divination to help quell my anxiety. My anxiety is a massive beast that I can't battle, so it's better if I walk away from it, slowly. I need to leave some things to God.

Speaking of God, after many discussions of the Him in Christianity, and then not Him in Buddhism, and paganism with my Muslim friend, I've decided to start reading the Quran. I started yesterday. I'm not very far in but I really like it so far and honestly Islam makes a lot of sense to me. They say the Quran has never been edited or revised unlike the Bible. I can relate to it as someone who was raised Catholic because the Bible is part of the Quran anyway and to me it seems like I could have been Muslim my whole life if I believed in the Bible anyway, though I'm not calling myself a Muslim just yet.

I know I'm trying to cultivate a positive space, but my friend and I were talking about the angel of death in Islam and how three times a day he visits you and three times a day Allah sends him away. And she was telling me Muslims believe at the end of your life you see the angel of death and if you have peace in your heart and are going to Jannah, you feel happy and blissful and die easily. If you have unrighteous anger, sorrow and fear in your heart you will be terrified and your death will not be peaceful. So last night I dreamt I killed myself with my mom sitting next to me and told her I was scared. My body slowly began to rise up and then it crashed back down to the floor as I looked on from outside myself. It was terrifying, it woke me straight up. I don't want to feel like this for much longer. I am trying to have faith but I am human and I am so many things: shameful, scared, regretful, and sad among them.

This reads as a journal entry I guess but it's not particularly honest because I am specifically not discussing some very major events. I am trying to be brave. I wonder if I will always feel like this half a person, knowing I can never show my full face.

Anyway, I'm proud that I'm successful today in my fast and hoping I can continue for the full 7 days. I'm not going to overplan like I did for the first day which set me up for failure. I'm going to play Neopets which gives me a nostalgic happiness and then go to bed now that I've had my comforting broth. Good night internet 🌈

#personal #islam

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lesfeldickbiblestudy · 7 months

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What part of the Bible should new believers be reading? [convertplayer id="qfaiYWLeM" width="700" height="525"] Now we'll pick up again where we left off, and what we're trying to show is how this next order of the resurrection comes about and of course that would be the main harvest: the Body of Christ. Before we begin though I would like to share that last evening we got a phone call from a gentlemen who had a friend who was an alcoholic and in a treatment center. He had been to visit her, and told her that this was probably her last chance and it was time that she got interested in the things of the spiritual. So he left this lady a couple of my tapes, and the reason he called was to tell me that from those tapes she had gotten saved, she was right with The Lord, and he was just so thrilled he couldn't get over it. So this is our whole purpose, whether you're watching by way of television or by a tape or through the printed page. The reason we teach is to help folk understand what the Bible is really all about. Remember, this is God's Word and He has left it with us to prepare us for eternity. That's the only reason we're here. This life of 70, 80, or 90 years is not even a split second compared with eternity. We're in I Corinthians Chapter 15, and we've been talking about the doctrine of the resurrection, which is basic to our Christian faith, and at verse 20 we saw Paul sort of shift gears and now he breaks down how the resurrections are going to take place. They are not going to be all at one event, but rather first we had the first-fruits when Christ rose from the dead and those Jewish believers who came out of the graves after He did in Matthew Chapter 27. Matthew 27:52,53a "And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose. And came out of the graves after his resurrection,..." Then Paul said in I Corinthians Chapter 15:23: I Corinthians 15:23 "But every man in his own order: Christ the first fruits; (and) afterward they that are Christ's at his coming." Which of course would have to be the believers of the Church Age. That's us believers. So in our last lesson that was the purpose of taking you all the way back to the Book of Acts and bringing us through those early chapters when Peter was still dealing with the Nation of Israel and how then God raised up Saul of Tarsus. He made it plain as day that now this man was going to be sent to the Gentiles. And of course we saw all that in Acts Chapter 9, and we left him as they had lowered him in a basket over the wall because of the threats on his life. Now I want you to turn to Galatians Chapter 1, and in this little chapter Paul again brings us up to date as to what took place after he fled from Damascus. Now remember God is going to use this one man to take the message of salvation primarily to, but not exclusively, the Gentile world, although Jews are certainly going to be available for this same salvation. Let's start with verse 11. Galatians 1:11 "But I certify you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached of me is not after man." Now you know I'm a stickler for words, and the Holy Spirit never puts in excess words or never cuts it short, but rather He puts in everything that we need. Now look at that verse. If Paul is going to be preaching the same Gospel that Jesus and the Twelve preached then why in the world does He identify that the Gospel he preached as not being after man? Why those extra little words in there? Why didn't he just say, "I certify you, brethren, that when I preach the Gospel?." But he doesn't put it that way. He says rather, "the Gospel which was preached of me." Now that identifies him, and if you'll come across into Chapter 2 he does it even more clearly. Now years later in Chapter 2 when he meets with Peter, James, and John, and the other leaders at the Church there in Jerusalem he's going to have to give an account of what he's been preaching to these Gentiles. Now look at verse 2 of Chapter 2. Gal

atians 2:2 "And I went up (to Jerusalem) by revelation, and communicated (he made it crystal clear) unto them that gospel which I preach among the Gentiles,..." And again why didn't he just say, "the Gospel?" Well, that would have left a gap, so he clarifies it by saying, "I communicated unto them that Gospel which I preached among the Gentiles." Do you see how that clarifies everything? All right, now let's come back to Chapter 1 and see how all this came about because Paul is reviewing this. Remember when he writes Galatians this is about twenty years after his conversion in Acts Chapter 9. I think a lot of people lose sight of the chronology of some of these events in the New Testament. Saul of Tarsus was probably saved on the road to Damascus around 37 AD and then after his three years of desert training in Arabia it's 40 AD before he goes out into the Gentile world. Then he has that counsel at Jerusalem, which is in Acts 15 and Galatians 2 in AD 52 and so that's about 12 years after he began his ministry. Then the first letter that he writes, according to my time-table, is the Thessalonian letters and they're written some 12 or 14 years after he began his ministry. So you see, time keeps rolling on. This isn't all just mashed together. It's all spread out over a period of 20 or 30 years. In Galatians Chapter 1 he is writing about 58 or 59 AD Remember, if he began his ministry in 40 AD then this is 18 years later when he starts writing these Epistles. Galatians 1:11,12 "But I certify you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached of me is not after man. For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, (by men) but by the revelation of Jesus Christ." Now that tells you something. If Paul received everything that he is preaching and writing from The Lord Jesus Christ, where is Christ at the time of all this revelation? Well, He's in Heaven! He's in glory! After His resurrection! I'm always pointing this out. We hear so much of our preaching and our Sunday School material from the four Gospels. And there is nothing wrong with it to a degree. But that all took place before the work of the Cross. But this man is going to have the Lord Jesus telling him these things after the work of the Cross is accomplished, after He is ascended back to glory and now He's going to tell this man, Paul, what to tell the whole world. Not just the Jew. Not just the Gentile, but all the world. Now let's read on. Galatians 1:13 "For ye have heard of my conversation in time past in the Jews' religion, (remember that's what he was when he was a persecutor. He was a religious Jew) how that beyond measure I persecuted the church (or assembly) of God and wasted it:" He absolutely persecuted them. He tore them up. He killed and imprisoned them. Anything he could do to stop anything concerning Jesus of Nazareth. Galatians 1:14a "And profited..." He was a religious big-wig, and he probably gained a tremendous amount of wealth. And from that period of time I think Saul of Tarsus was married and had children. I think as a result of being sold out now to Christ, he had to put all that behind him. He lost it all. And I think that was all included when he said that everything he ever owned he counted but dung. Why? Because now he had a far higher commission in life than gaining wealth or taking care of a family. Galatians 1:14 "And profited in the Jews' religion above many my equals in mine own nation, being more exceeding zealous of the tradition of my fathers." That would be Judaism and religion Now verse 15 and what's the first word? "But." Here he came out of all this religion and all of the benefits of it, but the flip side of it is that God had something else for the man. Galatians 1:15 "But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother's womb, and called me by his grace," He didn't deserve God's grace. If anybody didn't deserve it, Saul of Tarsus didn't. But God called him b

y his grace for what purpose? Galatians 1:16 "To reveal his Son in me, (for what purpose?) that I might preach him among the heathen, (Gentiles) immediately I conferred not with flesh and blood:" Here is his whole purpose, that God has brought this man on the scene for the distinct purpose of taking the Gospel of Grace to the Gentiles. (Faith in His death, burial, and resurrection for salvation, and nothing else.) Now, granted, it's going also to spill over to some Jews, but not many. You know, it's almost a total reverse of the Old Testament. There, God was dealing only with the Jew but a few Gentiles picked up some of the gleanings. And the same thing here. Saul of Tarsus, now Paul, is going to go primarily to the Gentiles. But there are a few Jews that come into the Body of Christ. Now in the last part of verse 16, just put yourself in Saul's shoes, running outside the walls of Damascus, not really knowing where he was going, pitch dark, no explicit instructions yet of where to go. All God had said was that he was going to suffer for His Name. Now if you had been in Saul's shoes, just outside the wall of Damascus and you put your old mind in gear, where would you have headed? I know where I would have gone. Where would you have gone? Back to Jerusalem and look up Peter, James and John! He knew that those were the fellows who had been with Jesus for three years. He knew that they headed up the group that he had been trying to destroy. And now when he suddenly realized that the One that he thought he was trying to obliterate, was the very God that he thought he was serving, common sense tells me that the man should have headed right straight back to Jerusalem and poured out his heart to those Twelve men and shared with them everything that had happened, and confessed the fact that he had been dead wrong about Jesus, and now he was ready to serve Him. But he doesn't do that. Why? There's a purpose in all of this. A divine purpose. A sovereign purpose. And look what he says in the last part of verse 16: Galatians 1:16b " ...immediately I conferred not with flesh and blood:" Now who do you suppose he was referring to? The Twelve! He didn't go back to Jerusalem. He didn't confer with them. Now let's read on. Galatians 1:17 "Neither went I up to Jerusalem to them which were apostles before me; (now that sets it clear doesn't it?) but I went into Arabia, and returned again unto Damascus." We know from another chapter in Galatians, what was in Arabia? Mount Sinai! And so that's where The Lord took him. Now we have to feel that from the account in the book of Acts, he must have been down there three years. And then from that, three years of experience at Mount Sinai in the desert, and now he's ready to take the message of grace to the Gentile world. Let's read on. Galatians 1:18 "Then after three years I went up to Jerusalem to see Peter, (not until. And by this time he has all these revelations. The mysteries are beginning to unfold and now he can go see Peter. Not to learn everything thing Peter knew but to share with Peter some of these new revelations. I've said it so often, Peter never did get them all. He never could comprehend all these revelations that the apostle Paul had received.) and abode with him fifteen days." Now let's come back to Romans Chapter 16 and verse 25. And now at the end of this tremendous book of doctrine, the Book of Romans, (and it's doctrinal from verse 1 to at least Chapter 16) here in Chapter 16 and verse 25 comes a subtle statement, and it should blow our minds, but too many people don't even know it's in here. Look what he says: Romans 16:25 "Now to him that is of power to stablish you (believers) according to (the Gospel? No. What?) my gospel (see how he identifies it) and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation (or revealing) of the mystery, (the secret that's been kept in the mind of God) which was kept secret since the world began," Now isn't that plain? Why can't peo

ple see that? That here this mystery which is the whole circle of Paul's doctrines were kept secret until God revealed them to this man. Most of which came out in that three years at Sinai and the deeper revelations that come out in Ephesians. In his prison epistles, The Lord may have poured out of these deeper doctrines while he was sitting in prison in Caesarea waiting to go to Rome. Because, you see, after he'd spent that year and a half in Caesarea, he gets to Rome under house arrest and that's when he writes what we call his prison epistles: Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon. So those 18 months in prison probably were not wasted at all, because that's when The Lord revealed these tremendous, deeper things to him. Now let's go to Ephesians Chapter 3 and we'll start at verse 1. And remember this is just sort of an overview of Paul getting to the place where the Lord can use him to start calling out that next great body of resurrection: the Body of Christ, the Church. Ephesians 3:1,2 "For this cause I Paul, the prisoner of Jesus Christ for (whom?) you Gentiles. If you have heard of the dispensation of the grace of God (now watch how it came. He doesn't say "which came to you by Jesus Christ". It doesn't say, "which came to you by Peter, James and John." It doesn't say, "by way of Abraham". What does it say?) which is given me (and then where did it go?) to you-ward:" Do you see how plain that is? I had a gentleman sitting at my kitchen table one night and I had him read that verse and he said, "I know what you're driving at." So I said, "Read it again." I think he read it three or four times before he finally just almost batted his eyes and he said, "I never saw that before." I said, "Well, you're typical. That's the way people read their Bibles." They read it but they don't read it. But when he saw that the Holy Spirit inspired the apostle Paul to say that this Grace of God was given to him to give to us, there was the process. But how many people understand that? That's why I'm always telling people when they call or write and tell me that they are relatively new believers, and they want to know what part of the Bible should they be reading. Paul!!! Because this is where it's at for the Church Age. Now you don't throw the rest of the Bible away, you know that. But it's Paul that reveals all these various doctrines. So now verse 3 of Ephesians 3. Ephesians 3:3 "How that by revelation (the same word he used in Galatians) he (The Lord Jesus Himself) made known unto me the (what?) mystery; ..." Now we covered all the mysteries in earlier lessons. And they are that whole composite of truth that makes for the Church Age. And they all come from the pen of the apostle Paul. I was talking to someone they other day, and they said, " Why do you make this much of Paul?" And I said, "Let me ask you something. I don't care what denomination handle you have. Do you have a pastor and deacons and Church elders?" He said, "Well, yes." I said, "Where did you get the instructions for them?" Well, he didn't know. I said, "Well, I'll tell you. You got it from Timothy. And who wrote Timothy? Paul! Does your Church practice The Lord's table?" He said, "Oh, yeah." I said, "Where did you get it?" He thought maybe when Jesus said it. I said, "No, Jesus didn't put anything on it. All He said was, "This is My body and this is My blood, but He didn't give any instructions for the communion service. So where did we get it? From I Corinthians 11." And down the line you can go with every facet of what 99% of Christendom practices doctrinally. They get it from Paul. And yet they'll never give him the time of day. It's amazing isn't it? Editor's Note: Paul's writings to the Gentiles (the Church) are the thirteen books of Romans through Philemon. Although Paul also wrote the book of Hebrews, he wrote it to the Jewish believers who had been saved under the gospel of the kingdom, the teaching of the twelve apostles of the circumcision (Jews). Hebrews was not written

to the Gentiles.

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ohwalley-blog · 8 months

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My most powerful talent.

Wow, I can not believe it has been 4 years since i have written in the blog and a lot has happened!! A lot. Even so, let me tell you about last week.

One of our more "complicated" patients were admitted during the night. A lot of "He said, we said, they said" went on, but nothing was done. A table of nurses, pharmacist, physicians and other disciplinaries were sitting around the table and no one understood what the plan was for this patient and where to even start. Then I felt 7 pairs of eyes look at me and one said "So what are you going to do about her ma'am?" I couldn't believe I solely had the responsibility to figure out the care and plan for this patient.

As the day went on, NO ONE, i mean no one wanted to touch this patient. Then, I took over the conversation and placed things in perspective and BOOM. There was momentum in her care and she got what she needed. Physicians, Nurse Practitioners, Physicians Assistants and registered nurses all listened to me. I was simple, straight forward, but real.

On that day, I used my talent, my most powerful talent: my tongue and it gave that girl life.

A couple days later I saw my L and he told me some terrible things. That I had said some things and it made him feel unwelcomed and ungrateful on my birthday! It was so hard to hear those things. He continued to say that my words were so hurtful that he did not want to spend my next birthdays with me (I am still trying to process that). I cried, for like an hour.

It took me over 2 years and so many miles to build this relationship, this foundation with my L and it came tumbling down after just a few words.

In one week, my most powerful talent, the one thing I am very much known for, gave someone life and healing, but then killed the relationship of me and my L.

I don't want that same tragedy to happen to people. Today I am given the opportunity to do Children's Story and THAT is what I am going to teach about: the tongue - our double edge sword.

I am going to write out this next portion as I am going to speak about it in church. This is one of my favorite stories.

Happy Sabbath boys and girls! Welcome back to children's story where this time during our church service is specifically for you!

Anyone here know what a weapon is?

A weapon is used for two things: to either kill or to protect.

Who here has a weapon? Everyone here carries a weapon, I know I have a weapon with me at all times! This weapon on me is so strong that it can make people move, scare away bears and it is so powerful that it can kill someone else and your weapon can do the same thing!

Can anyone guess what that weapon is? YOUR TONGUE!

When people tell me: don't say bad things, I always think about the "bad words" that are inappropriate, but this lesson is deeper than that.

Before we start our lesson, let's read our memory verse: Proverbs 15:1-2

For the bigger kids & adults behind me, if you want to follow along with our lesson, please open up your Bibles to 1 Samuel 25:1-38

In the book of 1 Samuel chapter 25, there was a very rich man named Nabel. This guy was rich! He owned property near the town of Carmel and he owned 3K sheep and 1k goats! Sounds rich huh?

He married this woman who was described to be sensible, smart and can manage his riches. He sounds lucky huh?

Lucky, for Nabel, King David had his 600 men were stationed near his property. while King David's men were there, Nabel's animals were never harmed, Nabel's shepherds were safe and were never robbed.

Sounds like Nabel was living the good life.

One day, one of King David's men found Nabel and said "Hi Nabel, we were sent by King David and we have been providing your flock and shepherds with protection. Would you be kind and please share with us some food and water?"

Do you think rich Nabel would be able to afford it?

This is what Nabel said in return

"David? Who is this David? Who does he think he is? There are lots of servants these days who run away from their master. Should I take my bread, my water and my meat that I harvested, slaughtered and sheared myself and give it to these people who came from who knows where???"

Well, Nabel's words got back to King David and it infuriated King David. "Get your swords!" King David said and with 400 men, his plan was to kill Nabel, everything he owned and his family!

Meanwhile, one of Nabel's servants told Abigail who had no idea any of this was going on. Abigail had to think smart and had to think fast.

So she gathered meat, bread, grains, fruit, wine and packed her donkey. She and her servants went to face King David themselves!

When she came face to face with King David, he was so angry!! Abigail fell at his feet and asked for his forgiveness. "Please my King.. I accept all the blame for this. Please do not pay attention to my husband Nabel."

King David looked at her and said "I did a lot of good for Nabel, because of the protection I provided, Nabel prospered!" but at the same time, was impressed with how her words calmed him down and decided not to kill Nabel after all.

Before they departed ways, Abigail used her words to bless him. "My King, I know the Lord lives in you because he kept you from murdering my husband and taking vengeance on your hands. So let all your enemies be cursed."

In this entire story, did you hear me say any "bad words" any inappropriate words? No, the words that were spoken in this story are words that we use and say every day.

But our words matter. The way we say our words, where you say it, how you say and who you say it to... all matters.

Nabel's words almost got himself, his animals and family killed. King David's words was able to provide protection at first and then ordered a murder! Then Abigail was able to use her gentle words to save her husband and gave him life.

Before we separate, i just want to share one more Bible verse:

James 3:10 Blessing and cursing come from the same mouth. My brothers and sisters it should not be this way.

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dailyaudiobible · 8 months

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8/29/2023 DAB Transcript pt1

Job 31:1-33:33, 2 Corinthians 3:1-18, Psalm 43:1-5, Proverbs 22:8-9

Today is the 29th day of August, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it is wonderful to be here with you today, it’s wonderful, wonderful, this is a wonderful place to be on any given day as we gather around the Global Campfire, and so, glad that we can have some more time. What a gift we can have this time together, isn’t it? It is for me. It's a gift that we can have this time together and I'm excited for us to take the next step forward. We have been working day-by-day, step-by-step through Job and I just kind of dealing with human suffering and thinking about our own lives and the things that we face. Listening to Job's friends and hearing the echoes of things that have been said to us and things that we've been said. And Job is just deeply committed to what he thinks is impossible, that he might find God. That he might be able to talk to God directly because human wisdom is failing and is coming up short. And so, let's continue with the dialogue. As we begin today, Job is still speaking, he was speaking all of yesterday's reading. He continues to speak today, Job chapters 31, 32, and 33 today.

Commentary:

Okay so, we had a fairly short reading in second Corinthians today that packs a punch because of the implications. I mean, we understand what Paul's actually saying here. The implications of the gospel become really clear. And so, Paul was discussing veils today and he’s using that example of vail and we know what a veil is right. You put a veil over your face, like a bride, she has a veil over her face and she walks down the aisle. So, we know what a veil is. So, Paul is contrasting the Mosaic law and the redemptive work of Christ to fulfill it, and he goes back to the early stories that we've read, as we began our year. He goes back to the origin stories. He goes back to Moses because this is where the law flowed from, and so, this is where the allegiance is. He goes back to Moses and says look, here's the story though. Like if we go back to our own text, here's the story. God wanted to speak to His people around the mountain and they were terrified of Him speaking to them. And so, they told Moses, you go, you go up the mountain and you hear from God. And you come back and tell us what God has to say. And then we will obey you. You be the mouthpiece for God. The invitation was this direct interaction, they chose this prophetic voice, Moses. Moses went into the presence of God, but when he came back down the mountain, his face was glowing from being in the presence of God, which freaked all of the people out. So, Moses put this vail over his face to cover his face. And he would look through the veil and see the people and people would look at him and see the veil. And Paul is essentially saying, yeah and we’ve been looking through the veil ever since. Paul says it like this, and I quote, “their minds became closed. In fact, to this day the same veil is still there when they read the Old Testament. When they read the Torah, the law. It isn't removed, because only Christ can remove it.” So, let's just remember where Paul is always going. We learned a lot about this when we were reading through the letter to the Romans. Paul's conviction is that the Mosaic law, which is what governs the people trying to figure out obey those commands, that that is a good thing, and that it is a valuable thing. It's just a miss purposed thing. The law shows our failures, it reveals our transgressions, it shows us that we have stepped over the line into sin. It leads to death because the only thing that it shows is our repeated pathway to death by transgressing the law. So, it's a good thing because it shows that. But the only thing that it ever shows is that we’re going in the wrong direction, a direction that’s moving away from righteousness before God.

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tybysis · 9 months

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1:52 am

Hey Ty!

Trying to get back into the swing of journaling, but I again feel like I don’t have anything to write. This can’t be true, of course - I do things every day - but there is no really big emotional things that seemed to happen every single day in highschool and before. Being away from my abusers has done wonders. There are many days that I do almost nothing at all, but watch a few episodes of a show with Kitty - we’re watching Sweet Tooth right now, and Bofuri - play a videogame - I downloaded Dave The Diver for self-indulgent purposes - and take out the trash, which is my chore. I tell myself that I am frugal, but really, I am just used to being poor, which I don’t really think is the same thing.

I’m working on paying off my credit card so that we’ll have a decent safety net when Kitty is here - can you imagine, a $2200 safety net? Jesus christ - and making a list in my head of things that need to be done in entirety before she and the others move up here.

Mom mentioned that they’re still looking for places as well, but I told her ages ago - almost a whole year now, actually - that I planned to have Kitty living here by this Thanksgiving, or at the latest, this Christmas. That was before Curse imploded that plan. We didn’t learn what he’d done until it was the new year.

I meant to call Uncle David and Mom-mom Peebles this weekend, but didn’t. Time is kind of fucky, and it always has been, but the pandemic made it worse. I feel like it’s still 2021, when it definitely is 2023. I’m almost 30. Jesus christ.

Speaking of, I don’t read the Bible or do bible study anymore, and I stopped going to church when we moved. CCV was part of my ever-full schedule of things to be doing that weren’t being idle at home, and once we were far from it, I didn’t feel like going through the hassle of trying to find a church. Especially since the vast majority of my religion is bigots and racists, most of which would be in the churches around here. Because we moved deeper into Trump Country. There are people who have Trump 2024 or w/e signs on their lawns. But there are also people who vandalize those signs, so… white on white crime I guess. Working at BJs I met a whole lot of people with just ass opinions about others, and working the phones I’ll get clients that will go into xenophobic or racist tirades. I don’t do anything but weather through it and get disgusted, but at least I know that those people are out there and real. I remember one of my first customers was a person in PA who was talking about how she didn’t trust anyone because of COVID, and how she was taking care of her two adult special needs children and had been on her own for about a decade. All she watched was Fox News and that alt right tv station that John Oliver did a whole thing on. I remember that she said specifically “I don’t see how they could make a chip so small that it could be put in a vaccine, but that’s what they say”, and I was like… you’re so close to getting it. But all I said was “You’re right, that does sound really unlikely.” and the conversation moved on.

I like my job cause I really do help people every day when I can, and I get to speak to people and for a while, a good two hours, I get to know them a little. A lot of them are nuero-spicy, as the kids say, but I am able to understand them and logic it out of them because I am also that way. It’s easy to relate to people and simply be polite as I try to figure out a best way to help them. I get a lot of compliments about how helpful and efficient and professional I am - but I think being professional is just treating people like people and being polite. That is a cheat code I could have used earlier in life. It is easy to know what to do when you’ve been trained to do it, and then do it well. Selling insurance is easy that way. Once you understand it, you can teach it to others, so that people can understand their own medical decisions and payments and stuff. Medicare and Medicaid and all that stuff can be a bit ass backwards if you get the wrong definitions from the beginning, but once you get it straight, you can.

My favorite customers are probably the Russians. We have an interpreter line we call and get translators, and then the three of us go through and have a conversation through the translator. Since reading Babel, I think about it a lot, but it really feels good to reach an understanding. I love being able to just explain and explain and check if they have questions, and at the end ask if they’re interested. I’ve always been told I’m a good sales person, but really I just explain things as straight forward as I can, and if it’s a good deal, the person can see for themselves. I haven’t convinced them of anything. I’ve always felt that way, even when selling A.C. Moore gold memberships or BJ’s credit cards. If it is a good fit for you, it is. If it isn’t, it isn’t, and there’s no pressure either way.

We get a commission of $25 per sale and then get paid around the 3rd check of the following month, but I don’t really think that $25 is worth fucking someone over. Especially since medical insurance can make or break someone’s health and LIFE. There are coworkers who really get it - Ignitist is cool, because their slogan is Do Good, and they mean it - and there are coworkers who are clearly just in it for the money. One of them, a guy named Michael, irks me every time I see him in chat. Once, he made me so angry and upset by disregarding the needs of his client in order to make a sale that I had to go on an hour lunch. Thankfully, Christina, my supervisor, is always super understanding and she definitely talked to him and the post was deleted.

Speaking of work, one of the things me and Hailey - my therapist - and I managed to do is get an ADA reasonable accomidation for me. The ADA is the Americans with Disabilities Act, and if you are diagnosed with one of the protected disorders or diseases, you can ask for a reasonable accommodation, and your job has to either accommodate you, or offer their own reasonable accommodation. All this to say, I work 32 hours a week - Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. My mental health is much better since doing so. Knowing that I only have to get through two shifts and then I get a break is a godsend. I actually read that a lot of companies in other countries have been trying the four day work week, and they’ve found, just like I have, that the work life balance is much much better. I can breathe. Before, I got a job not just because of the needing money bit, but because I needed to interact with other people or I just wouldn’t. Luckily, I still have a job that lets me do that, but I get to stay home. Thank god. I was having panic attacks from working the desk every single day.

My job is still draining though. I call outbound, which means it’s a lot of getting hung up on and sometimes people are really rude. But I found that the repetition isn’t so bad if I’m drawing, or coloring, or if I have a headphone in listening to music in one ear while focusing with the other. It just works. I am good at my job, but that’s because when I put my mind to it, I can be good at anything. That’s how it works.

Speaking of Art, it’s day 24 of Art Fight, which is an online website where people upload their ocs and draw other people’s for points. I’ve made so much art this art fight. My art growth is exponential. Kitty actually uploaded the first art I did of Richard, back in 2020, and then compared it to the first attack I did toward him this year, 2023, and the difference is insane. Like everything else, art is something that you get better at the more you do it. But art, like videogames, is one of those things I cannot monetize. Because it’s hard, sure, but also, because I don’t want to. When I was trying to be a youtuber and a twitch streamer - which we all have tried at least once I think lol - the thought of having to edit all our videos was fucking exhausting. Knowing that recording and playing and being funny wasn’t enough, but that I had to turn around and edit all of that in a funny way? No way, man. Not for me. I barely play videogames now unless I remind myself to do it and put it on my daily to do list. Because really, remembering to do things for myself is hard.

Back when I was super busy, I only had time to watch things when it was with someone. Mags and I do Wednesday nights, which is just every Wednesday we watch some episodes of something, or a movie, together and just decompress over trast. The dedication to that over these years is the only reason we are still friends. I know that, because relationships are work, friendships are work, and you gotta do it even if it sucks, even if you don’t want to as much the next week, because it is a sign of devotion. Even if I’m not sure how I feel about Mags at the moment, at least I know that if things get rough, a plan works. That’s true with all friendships, and all relationships. If you are determined to make it work, then it could work. If it’s worth it.

But that means that when I am not watching things with someone, even if I have the time, it doesn’t occur to me to watch things on my own. I actually started watching Rise of the TMNT on netflix specifically because of that - because if I am not watching with someone, I do not watch. If I wasn’t playing games with someone, I did not game. And I need to do these little things for myself. That’s why I got my ipad. Because making art is only for me. I mean, during art fight it is also for the people whose characters I draw, and a lot of the time my art is of Kitty’s characters and mine interacting, but it’s self indulgent, it’s mine, and it’s for me. So I do a lot of it.

I might upload my two different arts of Richard as a comparison, because I do think its a good reminder. I’ll put them under this so that I can have proof:

[INSERT TWO (well three) RICHARDS HERE:]

Talk about improvement, amirite?

I also need to head to bed now, Ty. But it was nice talking to you again, getting used to hearing my voice again, knowing that my thoughts are important.

I’ve been listening to Once In A Lifetime by the Talking Heads, which is one of my songs. Like, if I were to fall into the Upside Down, that is what would play to know what was going on. I always loved this song, from the first time I ever heard it. If it, Lake Pontchatrain, or the Nickelback cover of The Devil Went Down To Georgia aren’t my top song of the year, spotify is a fucking liar. Though I guess Betty (Get Money) is probably up there too. Those ones will definitely be in my top five, unless a new earworm comes out before November. It’s possible. NSP’s album with Thunder and Lightning came out in October and that song was in my top 3 despite it only being a month. Lol. Never underestimate the power of a single song on repeat.

Anyway, sleep is important. Love you, Ty

Kay

#kay post #artistic license

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johnhardinsawyer · 9 months

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In a Certain Place

John Sawyer

Bedford Presbyterian Church

7 / 23 / 23 – Eighth Sunday after Pentecost / Proper 11

Genesis 28:10-22

Romans 8:12-25

“In a Certain Place”

(There Are So Many Ladders)

When my cousins and I were growing up, we would sometimes go visit our Granny and Papa in Glasgow, Kentucky for a week in the summer. One of the highlights of those summer visits was the almost yearly pilgrimage to nearby Mammoth Cave,[1] which is the largest known cave system in the world. I’ll never forget the time we went down into the dark cave with Granny as part of a large group and the park ranger told us about the difference between stalactites and stalagmites – those pointy stone formations in caves which are formed, over many years, by dripping water and mineral deposits. Stalactites hang from the ceiling of a cave. Stalagmites grow up (like little mountains) from the floor of the cave. And sometimes, in certain places, over a long time, with a lot of dripping water and minerals, a stalactite and stalagmite will grow together from floor to ceiling to meet in the middle and form a stone pillar. Of course,” the park ranger said in his best Kentucky accent, “here in Kentucky, a pillar can be a thing that holds up a ceiling or a pillar can be what you lay your head on at night.” Suddenly, a collective groan was heard in the cave from just about everyone in the tour group. The joke was just that bad.

Every time I hear the story of Jacob and the stone that he uses for a pillow out in the wilderness, I remember that park ranger and his corny, groan-worthy “Dad Joke” about the pillow that became a pillar. Now, Jacob was out in the open – not down in a cave – but he did find himself in the dark, in need of a pillow.

You might remember from last week that Jacob was kind of a sneaky fellow – especially when it came to trying to better himself within his own family. Not only has Jacob finagled his twin brother, Esau, into selling his own “eldest son birthright” for a bowl of lentil stew, but right before today’s passage, Jacob – posing as Esau – has gone to visit his father Isaac in disguise. Isaac, who has poor eyesight, is fooled by the disguise and gives Jacob the blessing, by mistake. According to tradition, the blessing that Isaac gives Jacob was the kind of thing that was only given once – no take-backs – and it was given only by someone who was close to death. In the chapter right before today’s reading, Isaac says to Esau, “Go and hunt some wild game for me and come back and cook it and bring it to me, so that I may bless you before I die.”[2] Isaac’s wife, Rebekah, hears him say this to Esau, and so she cooks up the plan with Jacob to steal the birthright blessing.

Oh, if there were such a thing as marriage and family therapy back in those days, can you imagine what those sessions would be like with this crazy family? Anyway, when Esau finds out what Jacob has done, it is clear that Jacob is going to need more than therapy if Esau gets a hold of him. Esau sets out to kill his own brother and Jacob makes a run for it. So, this is where we find Jacob in today’s story – we see a young man who is beloved by his mother, but hated by his brother and thought of with frustration by his dying father. And now Jacob is on the run, far from home, in a desolate place, all alone. . . or so he thinks.

But, as today’s story goes, when Jacob arrives at a certain place, he stops to spend the night and finds that stone to use for a pillow. Somehow, he is able to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. Maybe he’s just so tired that he could have fallen asleep anywhere. Either way, in the night he has a dream.

Now, the Bible is filled with stories of people who have dreams – from Jacob’s son, Joseph, in the Old Testament, who dreams of his older brothers bowing down to him[3] to a different person named Joseph in the New Testament, who dreams of an angel that tells him to keep Mary as his wife because the child in her womb is the Messiah.[4] We see dreams in the Book of Acts, too, and all the way through to the dream/vision of John of Patmos in the Book of Revelation. But, way back in Genesis, Jacob is the first major character in the Bible to have a significant, life-changing dream.[5]

Out in the wilderness, all by himself, Jacob dreams of a ladder that stretches all the way from heaven to the earth. In the original language, this ladder is really a stairway or a ramp, built up along a hill or mound. The root word, here, is also part of the word for “highway,” as in, “a raised [road]way or public road.”[6] In the dream, Jacob sees the angels of God ascending and descending on this holy highway. One commentator writes that when Jacob sees this in his dream, he is certain that he is “precisely at the entrance into the heavenly world.”[7] You see, in the ancient world, there was this idea that there was – or is – “a narrow place where. . . all [interaction] between earth and the upper divine world took place.”[8] Other people throughout the centuries have called this “narrow place” a “thin place” – where the line between the heavenly and the earthly is blurred. Some of you might remember that we have talked about thin places before – places where heaven and earth seem so close together that they might as well be touching. These thin places could be as different as a holy site in the Holy Land, or the island of Iona in Scotland, or the sanctuary of the church you attended as a child, or the camp where you had a spiritual awakening as a teenager, or the room where a child was born, or the grave where a loved one is buried. A thin place could also be the sound of a certain song, the taste of certain food, or the touch of a certain person.

In other words, so many places can be thin places. As the nineteenth century artist and intellectual, John Ruskin, once wrote,

This PLACE, observe; not this church; not this city; not this stone, even, which [Jacob] puts up for a memorial — the piece of flint on which his head has lain. But this place; this windy slope . . . ; this moorland hollow, torrent-bitten, snow-blighted; this any place where God lets down the ladder. And how are you to know where that will be? Or how are you to determine where it may be, but by being ready for it always?[9]

Ruskin asks something profound, here: “How are you to know where that [certain narrow, or thin place] will be – [where God will let down the ladder and where you will experience the divine]?” To which Ruskin answers his own question (which I’m paraphrasing here): “No one knows, exactly, where God will let down the ladder, so you’ve got to pay attention, you’ve got to be ready, you’ve got to (as Jesus tells us), ‘stay awake.’[10]” So many places can be thin places because God can let down the ladder – maybe so many ladders – anywhere and anytime. It would be good for us to be ready, Because, if we are paying attention, God’s ladder – God’s ramp, God’s holy highway, the thin place where God meets us and stands beside us – will catch us unaware.

Jacob – on the run, a veritable orphan from his own family – finds himself somewhere. . . a certain place. . . any place. . . and God lets down the ladder. It’s clear that Jacob isn’t quite prepared for this. When he wakes up from the dream, he says, “Surely the Lord is in this place – and I did not know it!” (28:16). To which the Lord says, “I am in this place, and don’t call me ‘Shirley.’” Just kidding – God doesn’t really say that. In truth, what the Lord says to Jacob, here, is far more important. Eugene Peterson translates it in this way:

I am God, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac. I am giving the ground on which you are sleeping to you and to your descendants. Your descendants will be as the dust of the Earth; they’ll stretch from west to east and from north to south. All the families of the Earth will bless themselves in you and your descendants. Yes. I’ll stay with you, I’ll protect you wherever you go, and I’ll bring you back to this very ground. I’ll stick with you until I’ve done everything I promised.[11]

Here is Jacob – feeling all alone – and God tells Jacob that he is not all alone. God is with him. Somehow, Jacob – this finagling supplanter; who, through trickery, causes his own estrangement from his own father and brother – this orphan of his own making, on the run from his own earthly household – has been chosen by God as God’s own. “Yes, I’ll stay with you,” God says. “I’ll protect you wherever you go. . . I’ll stick with you. . .”

This is the message that the Apostle Paul offers to us in today’s first reading from the Letter to the Romans. Somehow – even though we human beings always fall short of God’s high and holy expectations: we are tricky, and sinful, and usually on the run from one thing or another. And yet, God still seeks us out, finds us, and chooses us. The phrase that Paul uses, here, is that “we have received a spirit of adoption.” (Romans 8:15). In the original language, there is this sense of being adopted by God as becoming a “secure child”[12] of God. There is no orphanage or foster care system and the uncertainty that can come with those things. There is only the sure and gracious choice and secure love of God. “I choose you,” God tells Jacob – God tells us. “You belong to me and I will take care of you. I have a new and different future prepared for you. All will be well.”

Of course, as Paul writes, all of creation is groaning for this new and different future – because we have not necessarily seen it yet. The world is still filled with troubles and the future can be tinged with so much worry and fear – with wars and rumors of wars, the climate crisis, and so many other things. All of creation groans, not because of some bad joke – but groans real groans, because we are longing for something different – a different life, a different path, a different future from what we can see with our own eyes. And yet, as Paul writes – even though we may be groaning inwardly while we wait to know the fullness of what God’s adoption means, we still have hope. At least that’s the idea of what faith is all about.

I’m willing to guess that most of us have not had the benefit of a dream like Jacob’s or a Paul on the Damascus Road moment, but this doesn’t mean that we haven’t encountered a few of God’s ladders – thin places – where heaven is glimpsed, however briefly, on earth. . . When this happens, we might just find ourselves saying with wonder, “I had no idea that God could be here, in this place. . . with me!” Sometimes, a brief and precious glimpse of heaven here on earth – inspired by the Holy Spirit – is the only thing that gives us hope. And sometimes – with enough glimpses coming in fits and starts and so many drops of grace over time, the Holy Spirit forms something permanent in our hearts and souls – a pillar of memory and hope and faith.

Whether we know it or not, we live in a world full of places that have been certain holy places for so many people. Jacob catches a glimpse of heaven and he takes his pillow and sets it up as a pillar, so that people will know that God was – and is – in that certain place. Whether we know it or not, we live – surrounded by many such pillars. . . so many certain places where God has let down so many ladders. Who knows where and when the next one will be?

May God find us ready to see and know the Holy in our midst. May the knowledge of God’s great love and Holy adoption fill us with hope and faith, granting us confidence for whatever the future holds. We have a God who sticks with us, no matter what. We are never alone.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

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[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mammoth_Cave_National_Park.

[2] Genesis 27:2-4 – Paraphrased, JHS.

[3] See Genesis 37.

[4] See Matthew 1:20.

[5] Aside from a fellow named King Abimelech in Genesis 20, who is warned in a dream not to take Sarah as a wife (because Sarah was already married to Abraham).

[6] F. Brown, S. Driver, C. Briggs, The Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon (Peabody: Hendrickson Publishers, Inc., 1997) 700.

[7] Gerhard Von Rad, Genesis: A Commentary (Philadelphia: The Westminster Press, 1961) 284.

[8] Gerhard Von Rad, 284.

[9] https://victorianweb.org/authors/ruskin/trujillo11.html.

[10] See Mark 13:33-37 and Matthew 26:41-42.

[11] Eugene Peterson, The Message: Numbered Edition (Colorado Springs: NAV Press, 2002) 50. Genesis 28:13-15.

[12] Walter Bauer, A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1979) 833 and 359. υἱοθεσία as a combination of υἱοσ (son/child, 833) and θεσία (secure, 359).

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adamsart · 1 year

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Fuck so I saved Shelby once again and took her in even tho I told mark I wouldn’t save her. Then I sent her back to stay with mark but we were in love at this point and I knew I was destined to be with her. I thought about her all the time. I always wanted her by my side and I made sure she was loved and taken care of. I got her car back from her mother only to lose it to the third impound in a month like 2 years later. These were the happiest years of my life. I don’t know if I’ll ever find that kind of love ever again. Shelby was with me thru thick and thin and stuck threw some pretty scary shit like gunpoint robberies, kidnappings, had her set up this guy we knew and she didn’t know until I mollywhopped his ass for stealing from me. Shelby was a beautiful person and her soul was so beautiful. After getting out of Sacramento county late one December I tried to call home and wish my family a merry Christmas and happy birthday to my brother. No one answered I figured it was because of me but what I didn’t know is my brother had just gone back to jail and my mother was left with no pain meds and a nasty infection in her bowls that she couldn’t fix cause she was allergic to antibiotics. My father tracked me down how I don’t know but he tracked me down and told me he couldn’t watch my mother die and the doctors gave her 24 hours she only actually lasted 3 hours and my father couldn’t watch his wife of over 25 years due infront of him and he felt like a coward. One of the most heartbreaking calls of my life. My mother died the 27th of December 2012. I decided I was going to go to a truck stop and someone would give me a ride in there truck and get me home. I was broke and my brothers wife had now stepped in and was in control of my fathers phone, bank account, vehicles everything and as soon as she showed up my father could no longer talk to me on the phone only thru Sarah over text message was the only way I was allowed to try to speak to my father. After 2 days of sitting at the truck stop with a pathetic sign that read MOTHER PASSED AWAY JUST NEED A RIDE TO SALT LAKE UTAH after 2 days I finally decided I was just going to have to steal a car and chance it my dad needed me and I needed to get there for my mothers funeral. So I preyed to god to help me and that night a girl I had just met her name was ANGEL came to where I was staying and she gave me a set of keys that she found in the laundry room of her building and I went to the apartments and found the car right away. I still have to make amends to those people. I was desperate and selfish. The car was empty when I stole it and the first person Shelby asked filled us up to full and we were on our way the next time we had to refuel it was the same thing first person filled us up and we were back on the road the last time I stoped for gas we were just outside of Utah and the first person filled up our tank again. And gave us a card with a bible quote on it. The last time I stopped it was right across the Utah border and A UHP officer pulled away from a stop to come after us and get us pulled over. After running our tags it took another 15 minutes before they shout down that side of the freeway and pulled me out of the car felony style. I went to jail and had to call and speak to my dad and tell him I wasn’t going to make it home for moms funeral. Maybe the hardest phone call of my life I can only think of one worst. Man I just wanted to give up and die. Missed my mothers funeral and on top of the new felony for a stolen car I was already wanted for 7 pounds of weed they busted me with just before my divorce as well as 4 prescription forgeries 4 insurance fraud and 1 commercial burglary. I was taken to toole county and somehow talked to he judge into releasing me to Davis county after 1 month. I went to Davis county jail and Shelby was released that day. I still had a 50,000$ bond to get out. Where there is a will there is a way cause I was only in Davis county jail 5 hours before I had found a bondsman to get me out on a signature and promise to pay in a week.

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