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carefulfears · 1 year

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I hate when people dismiss the Phoebe thing as Scully simply having been jealous. She was his best friend first, and she did what any good friend would have

yeah it's pretty reductive, honestly. scully has been very protective of mulder since the pilot; the first 3 episodes of the show are literally her committing to him, holding a man hostage at gunpoint to find him, and cutting ties with her friends who make fun of him.

this was largely her arc in squeeze, after only having known him for a couple of weeks, as she defends him to colton multiple times

and, in the end, concludes that she would rather be “on the side of the victim” with mulder than climb the ladder with her classmates, and tells colton to fuck off the next time he’s rude about her partner

in ghost in the machine, she's disapproving of jerry from the moment they meet, knowing literally nothing about him except that he used to work with mulder

and she instantly recognizes the profile that jerry presents as mulder's work, whispering to him to ask if that's his, to which he replies "forget it, no" and then later fibs and says that jerry apologized for stealing it (once you tell your best friend you can't go back lol)

all of these examples pre-date her behavior in fire, and are episodes where she's put in situations navigating mulder around other men

y'all remember the first time she met krycek and just flat out refused to shake his hand lmao

i touched on this a little bit in my post on fire, but scully really was just so enthralled by him from the very beginning. she grew up on a military base with her navy captain father and two brothers, and her only relationships have been with older men in power.

she instantly is so aligned with mulder and that there's something different in him than she's used to, but she's aware that the openness and softness that she's so drawn to in him makes him more vulnerable, and she's desperate to protect it

in beyond the sea, the very next episode after fire, she screams at boggs that if mulder dies she'll gas him into hell herself, and boggs tells her that he's tasted the afterlife.

that it's a cold and dark place, and mulder's looking in on it now. she replies, "it might be a cold dark place for you, but it's not for mulder"

she knows him, and she's so moved by him and what he wants to do in the world. these are the values that she left medicine to follow.

"jealousy" honestly doesn't even compare to the kind of ferocious protectiveness that she feels towards him from the very start, she really doesn't trust anyone around him for anything. they can't possibly get it like she does, if they treat him that way.

he may not care if people call him names or steal from him or try to make him walk through fire, but he really is just her best friend. and she can't stand it.

#she shares him with the world only reluctantly #literally her found treasure that she wants to hide away in the basement #she is sooo funny about it tho like she truly doesn't fucking play #she's 5 feet tall in heels but she'll fucking kill you #remember when she found out he was just talking to an entomologist and she literally got on an airplane and was there the next day #i literally only talked about season 1 in this post #she does this for 25 years #PLEASE do submit any and all inquiries to speak to him or breathe his air to miss dana scully!!#she really just does feel like no one else GETS it like she's the only one who understands this wonder that she's stumbled across #and also as far as how closed off she is towards his old partners or girlfriends even before meeting them it's just likeee #look at him #you can deduce that his last relationships have not gone well #of course she's super wary from the get go #the man is not the way he is because the people in his life have been kind #and she just reads him and how he's really feeling so lightning fast #she knows when something is getting to him or he's uncomfortable #even when he stays in the situation #anyway #she's soooo perfect #and so are y'all thank you for the ask!!#asks #scully #kae meta

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marzipanandminutiae · 6 months

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as a woman who grew up with an emotionally abusive mother constantly telling me I needed to wear more makeup/more revealing clothing/date (boys) more/go out to "normal" parties more, I despise "she should be at the club"

god forbid some people- especially young women, who already have to deal with a thousand different behavioral standards from a thousand different directions -not have the same dreams and desires for their lives as you do for yours

fucking hell. the correct response to "women should stay at home and have kids and be submissive wives" prescriptivism was not MORE PRESCRIPTIVISM

(I also just saw a poll asking if people partied as teenagers, and OP responded that the answers were "killing them" because No was winning. like? why is everyone so personally invested in other people having a very specific kind of fun?)

#memes #s t o p telling women what to do #being the partying type does not automatically equal being a Free Independent Woman and vice versa #guess what? I'm a 30-year-old lesbian with no kids (yet) and a career and I have NEVER liked clubbing.#I didn't like it when I was 19 or 21 or 25 and I still don't like it now #(I do love my mother; we have a complicated relationship. but the fact is that she did some things fitting the definition of emotional abus

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yorufi · 4 months

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fluffy middle age women yuri

↓ portrait close up ↓

#reverse 1999 #reverse1999 #r1999 #madam z x tooth fairy #tootz #reverse 1999 tooth fairy #reverse 1999 madam z #artists on tumblr #wlw #everyday i’m ignoring the fact that tooth fairy is only 25 #i’m 2 years younger than her……#she has a mind of tired middle aged woman with motherly nature #and so does zhang

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forestgreenlesbian · 1 month

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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

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fishareglorious · 4 months

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What do you mean Jessica is 2 years older than Tooth Fairy😭

Spreading my TF is in her thirties headcanon here what do you mean that woman keeps calling the likes of Blonney and Horropedia children if she’s only 4-5 years older than them

#reverse 1999 #tooth fairy #pursuing med school and dentistry and being a school doctor in her twenties has apparently added 10 years to her personality #that woman is 35 above to me and i will simply look away from the 'remained on display for 25 years'#for reference blonney is 20 and horropedia is 21 #i suppose you have to take into account that jessica isn't exactly human or arcanist as you may know from the car scene with z and tf #and when you look into her story she apparently does mature a little slower compared to normal humans

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navii-blaze · 5 months

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Royalty designs wips

#my art #navii art #sth fanart #archie sonic 25 years later #prince consort sonic bc like hell he takes on any actual responsibility lol #i hc that elias steps down to be a family man after a few years while robotnik is still a threat #sally and the council make an agreement for her to be the last acting monarch- any future children won't be heirs #only reason she doesn't abolish the crown sooner is because she wanted to reform the council to prepare for her retirement #sally acorn #sonic the hedgehog #elias acorn #i'd imagine sonic still travels quite a bit after robotnik is dealt with- does public campaigns and restoration efforts #idk what would prompt them to actually marry- but it's much more platonic at this point than romantic #kids aren't much of a discussion until later in their lives- prob late 30s/40s #i'll give her pauldrons too

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impossible-rat-babies · 30 days

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/showleft anyway it’s all of eyrie’s children !

from L to R: aoife, sver, ol’ver, bijou, bisha and halvi

#ffxiv #I should have a gpose tag #aoife lives in ishgard where she does a lot of work with the astrologians in an academic sense #she also makes frequent trips to idyllshire to visit the gobbies #sver still lives in the forest and was trained as a wood warder. he’s a skilled whm however #and does much of his warder work far to the north #ol’ver does gleaner work but he’s frequently found at home in kugane #he does a lot of work in aetherology and religious studies #he also accompanies eyrie on the occasional adventure #bijou spends most of his time helping out the restoration of doma following the events of stormblood #eyrie visits him often #bisha is eyrie’s co-WoL in their shared universe #halvi did a lot of combat work with the bozjan resistance #but as events have unfolded she now does a lot of restoration work #putting her home back together is going to take a long time #but Aoife is the oldest and she’s like. maybe a 100? I would have to do a lot of math that I don’t wanna do #and Halvi is less than 25 years old as she was born after the incident at the bozjan citadel

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journey-to-the-attic · 3 months

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bold of you to assume we (or atleast i) dont want to read paragraphs about ik's and belphie's dynamic 😈😈

if you feel like writing that, i'd absolutely love to read about it!!! ^^

RIGHT YES this took me a hot minute but let's go!!!!

so the main points that this is all built around:

belphie is someone who is absolutely shit at understanding himself

ik is someone who has a knack for understanding anyone she talks to for long enough

belphie's first resort is usually to leave things to someone else, but easily asserts the things he wants

ik will actively pursue you if she thinks she can help, despite usually feeling guilty about requesting anything

they both have very simple views of very complicated things

building from point 1: this is not entirely belphie's fault - i've talked about this before, so i'll just paste the pertinent bits here:

belphie, as the youngest brother, has been detrimentally coddled in regards to these things, and has NO fucking idea how to properly deal with loss the others haven't tried to talk to him about his grief for lilith, nor about their experiences during the celestial war; when they all had to support each other after the fall, they comforted him, but never ever discussed the pain of it all it's like the doctor refusing to talk about your actual symptoms because they're afraid of making you uncomfortable, and instead just soothingly going "it's okay, just take some ibuprofen and see me in the morning"

belphie underestimates himself and, at the start of the year, is convinced that there's no way forward - 1. he feels he's left it too late, 2. he feels he's the only one still hung up on lilith's death, which only makes him more bitter, and 3. he thinks that the hatred and grief is just who he is now

now take ik, who finds him in the attic and takes worryingly little convincing to help him - even more concerningly, she decides to go through with it even upon finding out he was lying about his identity. this is a direct contradiction to his conviction that humanity is selfish and cruel - more than that, the more ik visits and chats with him, the more he remembers why he'd been so fascinated by humans as an angel

except it also reminds him of how much lilith loved humanity. belphie doesn't think he's capable of letting go - he doesn't think he's allowed to, and to him befriending a human and moving on is the same as betraying his sister's memory. so he represses any feelings of good-will and continues to nurse his hatred

i think it's important to note that belphie's hang-ups have always been self-destructive before this, but the more he lets his own grief fester, the more it threatens to burst. his threat to lucifer about destroying humanity is an early indicator of this, and it culminates in a moment of extreme emotional distress where it finally all implodes

so ik - in the wrong place and the wrong time (in the literal sense) - finds him in the middle of a nightmare, wakes him up, and gets murdered for her troubles

belphie shuts down immediately after, because to him this is a point of no return. he's already convinced himself that nothing can be done for him, and this is the proof. except then everyone else forgets what's happened, and, panicking, he goes along with it - out of fear of losing his family if he comes clean.

so: point 2 - consider that a big thing with ik is that she just doesn't get why belphie acts the way he does after killing her. she's been able to get into the heads of his brothers before him, and even now can somewhat rationalise them forgetting, but she has no idea why belphie - who first killed her and then acted like he'd forgotten about it - would suddenly seem so wracked with guilt upon finding him in the dreamscape

belphie does not think he is strong enough to move on. ik, somehow, intrinsically, already knows this is not true. this is why she's so bewildered by belphie telling her lilith's story. he's convinced this is some kind of damning evidence, but ik doesn't get how this explains anything. and because she doesn't understand, she seeks answers.

now take point 3 and 4. belphie does not attempt to seek forgiveness - he just sits in the cell solomon locks him in. he doesn't try to get out, he doesn't attempt to repent, and he doesn't want to, because as far as he's concerned there's nothing to be done

ik, on the other hand, is going to put her home back together by force if necessary, so she goes to find him. multiple times, she climbs up the tower stairs to rescue him from a waking nightmare - the same thing that killed her - because her family is still his family, and she knows too well what it's like when you go without.

belphie has been sitting stagnant for millennia on end, and now ik has decided that she is going to KICK him along until he figures out that he can stand on his own two feet and keep going. and it works, because for some reason digging demons out of emotional pits of their own creation is ik's specialty

and now point 5: ik and belphie fall quite easily into a typical sibling dynamic of the "i'll make fun of you constantly, but if anyone messes with you they're dead" kind. they never really sit down to talk out all the residual Baggage of everything, because neither of them are the type to overthink these things

but EVEN THEN. they may be simple-minded but the complication of the everything that led up to this means there's little hidden meanings even in the normalcy of their behaviour, and neither of them ever register it

for belphie it's "i'll never understand you. thank you for understanding me. i don't know what to say, so i'll tease you for tripping on your laces instead. i'd throw someone down a gorge if they made you cry. let's go shopping. i think i'll spend the rest of my life wondering if i can ever close the wound i tore in your soul."

for ik it's "i'll never forget what you did to me. i see you in my nightmares sometimes. thanks for waiting for me after school. quit making a show out of helping me reach the top shelf. sometimes i'm glad you regret things so much. can you help me with this homework? i think we're alright."

and for both of them it's "i like hanging out with you. sleep well. i'm glad we're home."

in conclusion,

i am crazy about things i made up entirely. perhaps i am cringe but i am free

#answering asks #valenrien #and also #anon asks #i meant to write this out like two days ago but i got Super Invested out of nowhere #in drawing this one thing of solomon and mephisto #idk if i'll get around to fully finishing it so like 75/25 whether i'll ever post it #but it's been very fun. i finish my work and then get to go 'hehehe time to go draw gay people'#for brief moments my youth was returned to me and i was fifteen years old #and drawing godzilla going on dates with various dinosaur and dragon ocs again #i haven't drawn godzilla in years. i used to be so good at it. i should draw him hanging out with ik #but anyway. in conclusion #belphie is a wounded animal in a beartrap and ik is the farmer's boy who loses a finger trying to prise it open #ik's unrelenting and fierce campaign for everyone she loves to just be NICE to themselves is almost frightening to belphie #who doesn't quite comprehend how she does it and doesn't feel he's quite earned forgiveness #except what ik's forgiveness forces him to confront is exactly what he deserves

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femmetay · 1 month

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#my 25 year old cousin passed from leukemia #services are Sunday monday #not prepared but who ever is for this sort of thing #ive never known anyone to die young before #ive never had to comfort parents at a funeral #ive never had to say goodbye to someone i babysat as a child #where does all of this grief go #i think of my aunt and i feel like howling in pain #that is her son she spent day and night with in a hospital #im in shambles i just #everyone thinks soon you’ll get better and bigger than the whole sky are skips #you will thank god they exist in these instances #😞#im so heartbroken #and in denial i just it doesn’t make sense

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thedisdainfullysilentvisitor · 21 days

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'Relax brother, he's five and twenty'

Oh Benny boy, that shouldn't give Colin free range to spend huge amount of money from the family account like an idiot

#Also why is it okay for a 25 year old man to make mistakes #when a 26 year old woman would be judged for everything she does #bridgerton #anti-colin bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #Bridgerton S2

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lottieurl · 1 year

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yellowjackets "pilot" & "friends, romans, countrymen" // becket or the honour of god by jean anouilh

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #shaunajackie #listen LIIIIIISTEN #yellowjackets blogging #ok everyone ignoreme for a second im abt to be incoherent #i specifically wanted the shot of shauna Looking at the ear just before she bites it cause The Intent and The Knowing hits harder for me #and the way she's GAZING at it. all shauna ever does is gaze at jackie even when all she can gaze at are the frozen pieces of her body #even 25 years later even when all she can gaze at are the memories in jackie's room #but also!! it's about how jackie's death traumatized shauna to such a horrifying extent #the biting is literal in the screenshot but the actual BITE is the way she pushed jackie away and could handle it and could resent her #WHEN JACKIE WAS ALIVE #but jackie dying is so much more than she can handle. nothing ever hurt like this and nothing ever will #shes more consumed by jackie than the literal consumption we see #anyways. someone please get me a therapist im unwell

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ronon-dex · 4 months

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really not sure how I feel about the ending to travelers, or the show as a whole. it has such a fascinating concept and builds an incredibly rich world off of that, but there are so many pitfalls to how it's constructed. I've never seen such a rollercoaster of quality that's SO rapid. i'm talking 10 to 1 in the space of a minute and back again, over three entire seasons. insane. LONG POST INCOMING

good stuff:

the direction is amazing. visually, the show is beautiful, and sets up shots that are consistently creative and designed to depict the emotion the scene is supposed to evoke, which I've never seen done so artistically. we'll see half of marcy's face when she's lying. we'll see kathryn filtered through soft light when maclaren looks at her. blood and sunlight is shown in stark contrast. action scenes have moments of intense stillness in the middle, which make the violence so much more shocking. philip's addictive eye-drop medication is always shown dripping down his face like tears. standout eps for stuff like this are '17 Minutes', and 'Protocol 3'.

fairly anti-copaganda for the most part. it's rare to see.

the acting is wonderful. jared abrahamson (trevor), reilly dolman (philip) and jennifer spence (grace) especially blew me away. trevor's dual energy of sprightly teenager and wise old man had to be very difficult to get right, but it was done perfectly. when he stares down his host's abuser in 'Update' his eyes were nearly black; you could imagine a 400 year old man and the rage he must have accumulated through centuries of hardened existence. philip was a character who wasn't allowed to live up to his potential, and I will be repeating this, but the scenes he had were devoured. he had an addiction to multiple substances, he was mostly ignored by his team despite being the most crucial member, and he had not a single friend outside of his fellow travelers. the agony of all of this was portrayed to perfection. grace fulfilled a role that is normally given to a paunchy white guy, an annoying genius who gets away with inappropriate behaviour because they're clever. [the rodney mckay effect, one of many stargate echoes in this show, thank you brad wright.] she was absolutely hilarious and brought light to a very grim show at times.

the traveler missions were excellent. the pacing in these scenes was great, the plots were generally airtight, and the awareness of the audience's intelligence was thrilling to witness. i figured out mysteries exactly when I was supposed to, a few minutes before the fallout - so you see how the dominoes will fall, and you see how nobody could have caught them. SO on theme for this show. the one moment that did catch me off guard was maclaren's birthday party in s1. oh my god I was so mad at the gotcha jumpscare, it annoyed the hell out of me lmao

bad stuff:

my main gripe. this show is called travelers. this show spends only about 50% of its runtime with solely travelers. the rest of the time is spent with david (marcy's boyfriend who doesn't know she is from the future and possessing the real marcy's body), kathryn (who also doesn't know her husband, maclaren, is not her husband) and jeff (an abusive alcoholic who consistently tries to beat up his ex girlfriend, who is also now a traveler.) these people completely take over the show. they have multi-season arcs and entire episodes revolving around their problems with marcy/maclaren/carly, often domestic. attempts to give philip and trevor stories outside traveler missions are abandoned sometime around s2. when these civilian characters were abducted together in s2 I literally started calling them the Avengers of Being Annoying. I've said it before but imagine how awful the show leverage would've been if 20 minutes out of every episode sophie, nate and eliot left to talk to their individual spouses about their relationship problems.

there wasn't even a serious confrontation about the consent issues surrounding the takeover of someone's life - especially assuming a sexual or emotional relationship with that person's loved ones. like that should have been a huge ethical dilemma removed from simply possessing a previously dying body. like why are you now fucking your host's wife like it's ok??? you're not him and she doesn't know you????

it was grim. it was also very clear that david was a favourite, some writer had a crush on marcy's actress, and some other writer was apologising to his wife through the maclaren/kathryn storyline. or maybe I'm just a hater. idk

this show had an amazingly compelling narrative, but it sacrificed a great deal when it comes to character stories. these characters were established very well, and built up over season 1 to have great depth and rich histories... and then we never explored most of it. we don't know the original genders of philip, maclaren or marcy. we don't know about the families of philip or maclaren. we don't know if the main 5 knew each other well or just trained before coming to the past. the future is almost a complete mystery and that was what made it cool in season 1; by the finale? fucking annoying.

these characters' most emotional moments and deepest relationships happened with the 21st century people they emotionally abducted. idk why. maclaren had no reason to stay with his host's wife. trevor could have freed himself from high school sooner. carly (with philip's help) could have gotten rid of jeff very quickly. I don't know why they insisted on this aspect of the show when the main cast were so underdeveloped and remained so for 3 seasons. this, more than anything, made the finale seem very hollow. the main 5 were coworkers, and apart from philip, and occasionally trevor, marcy and carly, they weren't that invested in each other's wellbeing outside of their efficiency as agents. this was not the found family I signed up for.

basically:

7/10 show for me. very visually gorgeous, as mentioned, and besides the kathryn and david of it all, very tightly written. thanks for saving the world, I suppose. I'm going to go look at the sky.

#travelers netflix #netflix travelers #philip pearson #trevor holden #grant maclaren #marcy warton #carly shannon #traveler 3468 if I ever see you it's on sight. you should have stayed with carly. it's insane that you didn't #philip was originally a 50 year old lesbian. to me. marcy was a 37 year old bi man.#maclaren was originally a straight guy but he was also 25. this explains a lot when you think about it. THINK about it #the fact that they never explored the mess that would come from changing genders or having a sexuality that does not align with your host's #utterly tedious. white man writer's syndrome. they can't imagine the world not catering to them.#the way philip talks about his host 'this young man'............. like...........#i know the number sequence makes it so marcy's the youngest but i need it to be maclaren. he is very much a little shit #imagine exploring the differences between yours and your host's bodies.......... hall could've been an 18 year old girl.#boyd could've been a 45 year old man with a wife and kids. WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING COOL WITH THAT.#imagine marcy and david's relationship but marcy tells him she's a gay guy from the future. a conversation for the ages. and we missed that #going to travel to the past and tell brad wright to do this or there will be a plague outbreak in 2020. back in a sec #(meant to say this show REEKED of stargate universe. even the close up shots like I WAS THERE. I WAS IN THE TRENCHES)

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staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty · 5 days

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So I've been seeing that OC asks thing that's been floating around by @yvesdot and decided to take a crack at it with Miriam, so fair warning, this will be a long post.

1: Doesn't really sleep with stuffed animals but absolutely would if given one. Miriam is incredibly fond of soft fluffy objects so I imagine she'd love to have one.

2: She should be able to take care of one, she's half dryad after all. Which is ironic considering she's half vampire. Has been known to be very fond of cats and pigeons, still very miffed that pigeons are considered dirty. Also could take care of a child, though she'd be a strict mother.

3: Miriam doesn't have a currently have a love interest aside from a joke ship, however she was with Carmilla (different from gonzo my version is more based on the book that predates Dracula) and she'd probably say "She's beautiful with the way her eyes can appear to be the colour of soil to the brightest of rubies. She is a soul like no other, sweeter than the sweetest strawberry and yet can be more vicious than the sharpest thorn. I gladly fight in her stead, wetting my blade with blood in her name."

4: Yes, yes she does. The only reason I don't put her in red more often is because otherwise she can look a bit too much like Alucard. Thankfully she's not as allergic to colour as he is lmao

5: If the situation demands it or she gets frustrated enough, the genes to be dramatic has been passed down. She will mostly give ones meant to kick men into gear due her history as a general, or she'll make a speech about the uselessness of fighting for nothing, a hollow thing in her eyes.

6: Person she always takes advice no matter what? Hmm, does it count if it was a dead man? Alive it would probably be Irons whom she trusts despite being older than him, dead the man who mentored her. As for person she never takes advice from no matter what would probably be Arthur or the pope, my gal hates the church with a passion.

7: In three words? Morally grey, wrathful, determined. For her, she'd describe herself as Godless, unnatural, and a bastard.

8: She likes puzzles, they're entertaining to her, loves the ones that you have to put together to make different shapes. A fan of mysteries as well.

9: empathizes with books, specifically the burned ones because it reminds her of herself and how humans try to get rid of her as well.

10: Probably when she was 212 because she'd have been with Carmilla at the time, who made her feel like a person and not an abomination of God.

11: Save, this woman only really uses money for bribes or when she needs to legally buy something like property.

12: Enjoys romance because she can dream for a little bit that she's normal and doesn't have to be careful with whom she interacts with

13: From her mother? How to make tea from Garlic flowers; from her father? To learn to be more okay with feeding and learn how to use her more vampiric abilities more effectively and efficiently.

14: Yes, this woman's guilty pleasure is garlic, she is also allergic to garlic. Fortunately it's the flowers she really has to worry about, and the garlic just gives her mild food poisoning.

15: Probably social functions that are just there to flaunt wealth and nothing more. Also thinks hunting for the sport of it is also a waste of time (and wasteful in general).

16: Honestly? She'd probably indulge a little in a fine dress, because she does like pretty dresses, but mostly would wear pants and more soft fabrics yet pretty fabrics with a lot of beading.

17: Yes, she is fond of them

18: tongue, all the way, might even playfully nip or get a fang "accidentally" caught on a lip.

19: Will study before tests, will wing it with interviews.

20: hurdy-gurdy, loves it to bits.

21: honestly? Betraying her, or otherwise being dishonest over a long period of time. Might just straight up eat her partner if they're abusive.

22: loves pet names, will default to ones from other Ukrainian or Romanian, usually the latter. Most used would be iubițel or iubi. Has been known to give nicknames to specific people, like Integra she might call Ursuleț or little bear.

23: Novelty, though she thinks she wishes for Stability, what she actually wants is to not have to worry about fighting or bloodshed for at least a century.

24: Honesty

25: Possibility, this woman might have grown tired of bloodshed, but she's not opposed to taking beneficial opportunities when she sees them.

26: A mix of both, admires talent, but admires effort more, for effort will turn into talent with enough time.

27: Vengeance all the way, this woman killed a man's entire family one by one before killing because he killed her lover, and before that was a killer of those who killed werewolves when she found them, sometimes going so far to kill members of the church. Definitely has a blood price sort of mentality.

28: She is the fixer upper, or she'd make them worse, no in between

29: Has a tendency to dream of the church or to dream of finding Carmilla's dead body or her mentor and his pack dead.

30: Probably raise Carmilla back from the dead just for a night, but knows better than to subject her beloved to that.

#enjoy my rambles #hellsing #hellsing oc #hellsing ultimate #Miriam is a mess #though the apple does not fall far from the tree #she wasn't meant to be so self loathing at first #but than I remembered she has truama from the church and was burned with holy water #there's a reason she hates the church #I love her though #can't believe I used to be scared of her being a mary sue because she's Alucard's daughter #she has her struggles #despite being over three hundred years old #than again she's also emotionally 25 #long post

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the-kestrels-feather · 6 months

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I'm so tired of my mom.

So my dad made gumbo tonight because my sister is home and she LOVES it. which I also LOVE, and he puts big chunks of green peppers and onions in it, which I don't. I'm not a big vegetable person in general, but most I'll eat. I don't like green pepper, so I just pick it out. And I like onion but I don't like the big pieces so if they're too big I'll pick them out. And when I went to go out my dishes away she side eyes my pile of peppers and goes "this is ridiculous" in the most passive aggressive condescending tone and I just????? I'm sorry I've told you I don't like them?? I don't care that they "don't have a taste", I can taste them and it's also a texture thing?? Like??? I eat everything else in the gumbo, including the diced tomatoes, why the fuck does it matter leave me the fuck alone.

#personal #it's just little things like this that she does that remind me she has no use for me #and she keeos acting like im actively choosing to live here with her #bitch i hate it here!! im here because i dont have another option!! id rather live out of my fucking car than live here but I have no car!!#i would take not having anywhere to live over dealing with this!! but i dont have an option #so here i fucking am!!#i don't know what you want from me!! im fucking TRYING to get out of gere because I can't STAND living here!!#i hate it!!#i know this is a small thing i know that but its just. this and the not being allowed to have any opinion that contradicts hers and the #having her “generosity” touted in my face and the not being treated like an adult despite veing almost 25 but reminded im “gonna be 25 and #need to start acting like an adult“ and her just outright ignoring everything i say or do and the fact that i know no matter what i do itll #never be enough to please her and hearing about how sges so miserable all the time but does nothing to change it #and every other fucking thing about living with her that ive hated for the last 24 years #toxic parents #toxic mom #toxic mother

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rootsmachine · 1 year

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chews me up, spits me out

chews me up, spits me out taissa & van | [ao3] why has no one mentioned van in the 2021 timeline? taissa needs help, and van has answers no one wants.

You’ve had her phone number saved for all these years, ever since the PI you hired in 2014 sent you a blurry picture of her, accompanied with the message She’s out, NYC 06-17-14, a phone number, and a now inactive CUNY email address. No one else talks about her: everyone had split into two camps when you were rescued. Those who buried whatever happened, whatever else was out there deep inside, and those who didn’t.

You were in the first group: Howard, Columbia Law, perfect wife and son, and a pharmacy of sleeping pills in your medicine cabinet.

Van was not.