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coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe · 2 years

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Superheroes with Secrets: A Brief Moment of Needed Respite (Fic Part 155. Set in 2001)

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places.

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Tags: @piratewithvigor @tantamount-treason

‘Giantess’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)

Reference Posts: Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms

Kirby ‘The Blacklight Bandit’ Roussimoff

“I’m sorry.” He whispers.

“It’s okay, just don’t forget, Eich gwraig ydw i. That’s Welsh for I’m your wife… I actually took the necklace off because I thought if you came running after me, you’d bring it with you and put it around my neck.”

“Who’s to say I didn’t?” He reaches into his pocket and pulls it out.

“Oh mon Dieu, Shane, I… uhm … Rwy’n dy garu di.” Kirby murmurs, trying not to cry.

“I love you too.” He whispers, attaching it around her neck.

“Thank you, honestly, for never letting me run away for longer than a day, mon mari, I was gonna ask this earlier, but then everything happened and I… I’m okay, I’m not gonna cry, I just… Can you call me your princess today, as much as possible?”

“Of course, Princess.”

“Merci, mon mari… we should head back to the house now, let you eat your breakfast.”

“While we’re walking… Shannon said I should probably talk about something else with you too…”

“Uh huh, go on…”

“There’s not really an easy way to talk about this, but here it goes… I’m struggling. Really badly. There’s a lot of times when I feel like self-destructing, but I keep myself together for you. Because you’re more upset. I don’t say anything because you’re hormonal and can't always control everything. But sometimes… sometimes, I just have no idea how to keep going like I am. Having to read your mind all the time to figure out if you’ll be okay with something I do or say and then nearly get sick from the resulting panic when you run off and cuss me out for following you. Having to guess if you need space or need me to chase. Having to just keep pushing when you throw things at me. Having to interpret every little gesture. I’m good at it, but what would have happened if I left your ring at the house in my panic? You would have been more angry and I would have only felt worse. I may be a superhero, my love, but I’m not superman. I’m only human. And humans have mistakes. Humans need forgiveness sometimes. Humans need to be able to take a breath and not analyze their every word and action every moment. I’m keeping it together, sweetheart, but it’s through grit and prayer.”

“Well then, Hurricane, view my actions now as the truest thing I can do to say I’m never, ever leaving you,” Kirby states matter-of-factly before pulling Helms into a heated and passionate kiss, “I may be unable to control my hormones, but I can control my actions and my heart is telling me to protect you, fy ngwr, for you are the only thing keeping me from setting the whole world on fire in my grief and anger, if I didn’t have you, I would be a husk of a human being. A non-human.”

“I just… I need to be strong for you all the time, but whenever I know you’re safe, I crack a bit. I hate cracking because I know you need me, but there’s some days when I almost feel too cracked to function…”

“If you want to spend a day or two with me taking care of you that’s okay, I’m more than willing to take care of you for as long as you want or need me to just… I don’t want to say this… but please, Shane, I don’t want you to feel too cracked to function because,” Kirby pauses, taking a deep breath in and covering her eyes with her hands, “I don’t want to lose you… I can’t risk losing the only person I’ve ever truly loved in a romantic way, I have lost too many loved ones to count, I can’t add your name to the list, please don’t make me add your name to the list.”

“I don’t want to be on the list either. There’s just some days where life weighs down on me hard and I have to push it down to take care of you.”

“No more, okay, if you’re having a bad day, you tell me and we’ll… we’ll snuggle up together… and watch movies … and I’ll read you poetry and … I’ll make you pancakes and chocolate milkshakes … and we’ll just relax and try to enjoy the little things until you feel like a million dollars again.”

“Thank you, Princess.”

“Rwy’n dy garu di, fy ngwr.” Kirby whispers, wiping tears away from her eyes and pulls Helms into a gentle kiss.

“I love you too, my beautiful wife.”

“If I weren’t pregnant, I’d carry you back to the house and wrap you up in every blanket we have.”

“Just walking is fine for now… and a favor that you can either accept or refuse and my opinion of you won’t change if you refuse.”

“And what would that favor be?”

“As long as Shannon’s around, I’d like to be able to kiss and snuggle with him without having to check. No making out, no rounding the bases, but little kisses and just holding him a bit. Nothing you’d see outside of a G-rated movie. Would that be okay?”

“That would be okay, as long as you two don’t fuck, it’s fine, no sucking dicks or getting it in the ass, or jacking each other off. That’s what makes me feel like I can’t trust you, mon mari. Anything that you would see in a G-rated movie is fine.” Kirby nods.

“So just to be absolutely clear, anything fully clothed and without relation to any sex organ is okay?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you, my love.”

“Just keep your dicks in your pants and I won’t knee either of you in the dick.”

“Understood.”

“I kinda want to sit on your lap, or Shannon’s lap to be honest, be super close to you two and just snuggle, maybe let Shannon get to know me … and why I’m such a fucking bitch.” Kirby whispers to herself.

“Honey, you’re not a bitch. This morning was just a bad misunderstanding.”

“Feel like I’m a bitch.”

“You’re not.” He says firmly.

“You don’t have to try and convince me that I’m not, just saying that how I acted could come across as bitter or bitchy.”

“Both are maybe true, but you’re not a bitch. One reaction to an emotional event doesn’t qualify you as a bitch.”

“I know, mon mari… Shane… god this question sounds weird, would you prefer I called you mon mari or fy ngwr?”

“Princess, I want you to call me whichever one feels right in the moment.”

“Well, usually I just go with mon mari, because I grew up speaking a lot more French than my native language of Welsh.”

“If that’s what feels right in the moment, use it.”

“Well, sometimes I don’t know which one to call you because they both feel right in the moment, so I default to mon mari.”

“I love both of them equally.”

“Okay then, fy ngwr, I love you to Jupiter and back.” Kirby states proudly.

“Love you to Pluto and back, my beautiful wife.”

“Now you’re just showing off.”

“Maybe a little, but it’s still true.”

“I love you, more than chocolate or poetry, I love you more than I love the colour orange.”

“I love you more than I loved Harleen.”

Kirby stops in her tracks, gasping softly and covering her mouth instantly, tears at the corners of her eyes. Helms isn’t meeting her eyes, just sitting in the quiet as he realizes the truth of his words.

“You lo … you love me… more than Harleen?” Kirby stutters out.

“I do… I didn’t know it until I said it, but I do. It’s time for me to move on… accept that you’re my family now. My forever family…”

Kirby pulls Helms into a tight hug, “oh, mon mari, Shane, I… I don’t know what to say, I’m so happy and I just wanna hug you for hours and… God, I love you so much.”

“I just… it’s true, but I’m gonna need some time to come to terms with it…”

Kirby pulls away, looking away from Helms and blushing a light pink, ashamed of herself.

“I love you. I love you so much. I never thought I’d get over Harleen, but you’re helping me heal. Some part of me thinks I’m betraying her by moving on, but I also know she’s probably happier wherever she is now than she would have been living with me. I need to make my peace with that.”

Kirby nods, not saying a word.

“I want to give her a memorial. Maybe in the graveyard. Bury my grief, you know? All that Poe stuff.”

“We can do that.” She murmurs, keeping her voice quiet.

“Thank you.”

Kirby nods again, once again going silent.

“Honey, talk to me. We agreed we’d communicate.” He says softly.

“I don’t know what to say, I love you and I want to help you through the grief, but I don’t know how to put it into words.”

“You are helping. You and our lil buddy.” He places his hand over her stomach gently.

“You really like doing that, don’t you, both touching the bump and reminding me I’m pregnant with our first baby.” Kirby chuckles softly, pulling Helms into a gentle kiss.

“I love it. It’s one of the simple pleasures of life.”

“Shane, I have a very strange question for you.”

“Ask away.”

“Why can’t I be a Disney princess, considering I have what is required to be one?”

“No royal heritage?”

“Mulan doesn’t have royal heritage, she’s a princess.”

“That’s just for marketing reasons.”

“I’m like Eilonwy from the Black Cauldron, she’s very much a Disney created princess but she’s never recognized as one by the company.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it. Haven’t seen that one.”

“It came out when I was fifteen, it was my favourite movie before the Princess Bride.” Kirby admits softly.

“I’ll have to see it.”

“I don’t recommend letting the baby watch it until they’re in their teens, it’s quite scary as a kid, but as an adult looking back … no it’s still scary.”

“May have to see it, then.”

“I don’t want our little girl getting nightmares from the same film I did, alright.”

“You’re gonna have to teach me not to be a helicopter parent, cause I’m gonna struggle hard with that.”

“Think we’re both in that boat right now, Shaney baby, I’m terrified of them getting scared of anything because what if I can’t deal with it for them, what if I’m not the big brave Mama bear I need to be?”

“Glad it’s not just me feeling that way.”

“Papa wolf, Gregory Shane Hems.” Kirby whispers.

“I’ll be keeping an eye on the whole family.”

“Especially Uncle Jeff and maybe Uncle Shannon too.” Kirby jokes.

“Kinda have to.”

“Just don’t stare at Shannon’s ass when you’re supposed to be taking care of the baby.”

“I’ll save ass-staring for when I’m not taking care of the baby.”

“Thank you, mon mari, however you may stare at my tits when I’m breastfeeding the baby, if you want to, that is.”

“Fully planning on it.”

“You wanna stare at my jugs, daddy?” Kirby jokingly asks.

“Of course. I’ve never been adverse to a set of beautiful jugs.”

“Kinda glad that being a pregnant giant gives me quite big boobs to be honest, also, I need new bras because I actually broke the one I was gonna wear today.”

“Gonna have to invest in a set of maternity gear.”

“Yeah, fy ngwr, is it noticeable that I’m not wearing a bra right now?”

“I did notice, but neither of us have exactly been in the mood for me to point it out.” He chuckles.

“Well, you’re right about that.” Kirby nods as they walk into the house, from the front door, she notices Shannon sitting in the TV room with his feet on the casket-shaped coffee table Undertaker bought them.

#superheroes with secrets #shane hurricane helms #kirby roussimoff #blacklight bandit #orange and green - the perfect team #shannon brian moore

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reachgirl · 3 years

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On Buddie and them potentially being aware of their feelings

So we definitely see evidence of how Eddie might feel about Buck, how he clearly loves and trusts him. He absolutely relies on Buck a lot as someone who loves Christopher, as that person you go to who cares about your kid as much as you do. And he clearly doesn’t handle not having Buck around very well during the storyline that must not be named.

He also looks at Buck like “you’re lucky you’re pretty”, a LOT. And he’s shown to think about Buck’s wellbeing and Buck’s feelings. For a guy who’s not usually great at ~the talking~, he seems to sense that Buck needs to hear him actually *say* things like that he trusts him, out loud. For Buck, someone who’s been told that he’s reckless and impulsive, not diligent, not reliable (and to be fair to Bobby, has been all those things at times, but is desperate to change that view of himself), to be told that he’s trusted - more than anyone else - with someone’s kid? That’s huge. And Eddie knew that he needed to hear that, he also knew that he needed to feel like part of something when Buck was depressed and hanging around at home after the truck bombing. And Eddie was the one who noticed Buck wasn’t around at the station. For Eddie, the fact that they “have each other’s backs” is so important, because, and it’s insane how this is not wishful thinking on the fandom’s part, he actually tells Shannon that she doesn’t have his back. So yeah, absolutely nobody is disputing that Eddie loves Buck.

And I’ve talked about how I believe that Eddie might be bi leaning towards more into men than women (his “not my type” and aunt pepa’s reaction to buck are the foundation for this theory), and his particular combination of upbringing, experience and location really messing with him admitting that to himself (Conservative religious culture, Texas, army, getting married young because of outside expectations). But many of the scenes we get from him could - FROM THE OUTSIDE - very well just show a guy who has a lot of love and respect (and occasionally some fond exasperation) for his best friend. Possibly more, but not in that active, pining way. Not like he’s truly aware of it, yet.

But Buck? He pretty much always looks at Eddie like he’s the best thing that has happened to him, ever, and he can’t believe his luck of getting to be around this man. The smile he constantly gives him, and - in seasons 2 and 3 - only him, is the actual “I want to sleep with you smile” from season 1 Buck. I don’t make the rules.

He constantly finds ways to help him out, reads up on things he knows Eddie is interested in or things that are for some reason something Eddie is dealing with (whether it’s baseball biographies or summer camp brochures), and absolutely always looks to him for approval anytime he does something well or remotely badass. Or even when he makes a joke. It’s almost like 95% of the stuff he does, he does so that Eddie will see.

He sees himself as part of Eddie’s family to the point of not feeling like he’s a guest at their house, he has proven he would actually die for Chris, and he spends much of his free time finding ways of making Chris, the most important person in Eddie’s life, happy. He shares in both the happy and the difficult parts of raising Chris, he gets involved in school problems, and he’s there for Eddie to talk through all the little things that come up when you’re a parent. Often times, with single parents, when the other parent isn’t around, the problem is that there’s nobody else in your life who shares the same love and enthusiasm or worry you have for your child. You could talk about everything relating to them for hours, but even the best meaning friends will at some point reach the limit of how interested they are. Not so with Buck.

But unlike Eddie, Buck is also aware, to a point, of how much he’s focused on Eddie. Where Eddie’s jealousy comes across as more spur-of-the-moment, not something he’s even aware of, Buck seems like.. he’s thought about how he feels about Eddie. Others definitely have. Maddie’s comment about his “man crush” aside, even a random christmas elf (long may she live) comments on it. Hen and Karen immediately agree Buck would invite Eddie, like, Karen knows about this even. Their reaction when Buck is acting irrational over how they might get Eddie out when he’s buried alive and most likely dead already is that reaction of “Oh fuck, this will break this person” that is usually reserved for the significant other or parent. Bobby definitely reacts to Buck in relation to Eddie the way a father would, carefully weighing being amused at how obvious he’s being, and concern over not wanting him to get hurt doing something stupid trying to save Eddie, or by falling for him when it might not be reciprocated. They all know that Buck’s a little (more than) smitten with Eddie. And Buck... of course he’s going to notice how his friends and family react. I think he’s been aware of it for a while and is constantly trying to navigate and balance this.

Of course he hasn’t told his face about balancing anything at all yet, because look at that man’s face any time he looks at Eddie, look at that scene with the medal. He absolutely can’t help it. And sometimes it’s like he wants them to pick up on it - for example, pushing Maddie on the fact that he doesn’t consider himself a guest. And that’s completely understandable, sometimes you want people to pick up on something and maybe even comment on it (because their reaction reaffirms to you that maybe you’re not crazy) while also not wanting attention on that point. People are complicated like that. And Buck may be a himbo, but he’s complicated AF.

We get Buck being really weird about Eddie and Shannon in general - right off the bat. When Shannon shows up at the station and she and Eddie talk, Buck’s in the background and overhears that they’re sleeping together. He clearly struggles with this information, (and Chim possibly notices..) then he get’s real petty about them potentially getting married again (”Maybe you can get a discount”) - and he nopes out of the situation as quickly as he can - because he doesn’t want to risk saying anything snarky.

Then Chim and Buck go christmas tree shopping, and Chim comments on how Buck can’t let Eddie’s situation with Shannon go, and it’s true, he can’t stop himself. But when Eddie asks him for advice in front of the fountain (/metaphorical water penis as I like to call it), he’s suddenly all “I didn’t think it was my business” ... ok, sure, Buck. Then he basically tells Eddie to try and make it work with Shannon. In terms of character development, in a romance, this is the part where person A wants to be with person B but doesn’t think they have a chance, so makes the choice to try and settle for being their friend, which, heartbreakingly, involves pushing them into the arms of someone else.

Also, his kind of “oversharing” of Eddie’s situation with Ana to the rest of the team is, to me, a pretty clear indicator that the topic makes him uncomfortable and he’s trying a Ross Geller-I’m making Fajitas- “let’s show everyone how very completely normal I feel about this” approach, which.. it doesn’t.. work that well. And when does this ever work, it’s super easy to see through this, and it usually just serves to draw more attention to the fact that you’re uncomfortable with whatever is being discussed.

Buck also takes everything Eddie says to heart. Like, fucking takes it and will not let go of it. Half a season after Eddie tells him that he makes everything about himself, he breaks down telling Maddie he’s worried he’s making the situation with the old firefighter about himself again. During the kitchen scene (or “The actual how-to-guide of what to do when you thought the guy you have a crush on doesn’t reciprocate but then you have a fight and he really doesn’t handle being away from you so well so you kind of might as well see where being a little more openly flirty will get you”), Buck’s clearly thought about Eddie’s words from the grocery store fight, and he’s gonna call Eddie out. And maybe do other stuff.

Looking at what the writers are actually doing, to end the season, there’s the clawing at dirt of it all, Buck falling apart when Eddie’s buried alive. Buck being in almost all of Eddie’s memories when he’s close to dying. And Maddie’s comment about not wanting to set Josh up with Buck, which is innocent enough, but why throw that in on top of all of the above, if not because maybe what we’re actually looking at is that they’re setting up a sexuality crisis for Buck, and him realizing he’s maybe into Eddie, but Eddie not actually reciprocating (yet)? And say Buck is then somehow forcefully pushed to see the truth about how he feels, maybe by, i don’t know, coming across TK and/or Carlos on a call, and one of them asking him how long him and Eddie have been together? We might get Eddie with Ana, and a very long, drawn out process of Buck realizing what’s happening and trying to leave them alone, and Eddie being really confused about why Buck’s being like that. Then we would have two options (well, more, really, but these are two I like): 1) Eddie pushing Buck on that point and demanding an explanation and Buck just coming out with it because fuck it and sorry and please let me see Chris still 2) Buck’s sexuality crisis (or not crisis, if he’s always been pan/bi, which, look, nothing I’ve seen has disproven this theory) leading to him dating a guy and Eddie getting really jealous but not actually being aware of the fact what he feels is jealousy (because he doesn’t realize how he feels about Buck, see this whole essay you just read), and Buck being the one who confronts Eddie about why he’s being such a homophobic asshole about this, and Eddie straight up kissing him because he can’t not anymore.

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raelikestoramble · 3 years

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yesssss, I'm still trying to recover from the finale... Can you do an story w Eddie pining for Buck after his break up w Ana? Like he releaized his feelings for Buck after getting shot and almost dying but Buck is together w Tyler? Please and thank youuuu

AN: Sorry, this got away from me and I wrote more than I thought I would! Thanks for the great prompt, I really loved it but wasn’t sure where to take it, so a lot of this is Eddie’s internal thoughts. Hope you still like it!

Eddie hadn’t meant for it to go on for as long as it did. Truly, he hadn’t – time had a funny habit of slipping away from him as of late; in his recovery, what mattered most to him was getting himself back to normal – or as close as he could ever return to, given what he had been through – and keeping life as stable as possible… for Christopher. No big changes, no upsetting surprises.

That thought did little to ease the lingering sense of guilt, though.

It had been only a few days since Eddie finally sat Ana down to, as delicately as he could, say that their time together was coming to a close.

She had been so lovely about it, too, because that was her nature and it had made having to break it off worse, almost. Ana was kind, sweet, understanding – perfectly nice – and, for all those reasons, she deserved better, a lot more; someone who was completely in it for her, as invested in her as she was in them. He didn’t always realise it, but he knew for a while before he broke it off that he couldn’t be that person for Ana. In time, another would be. He was sure of it.

He had felt, much to his embarrassment, tears burning his eyes as he explained to her that he entered a relationship with her for the wrong reasons… and that he had so much to figure out about himself. She had clasped his hand in hers, gave a watery smile, and told him that she understood; she had even reassured him that it was all okay and he didn’t need to be too hard on himself over it. It was the most amicable split he could’ve imagined happening. With guilt, came the sweetness of relief, an acute light feeling that he didn’t notice was missing for the longest time.

And then, once that was over and the dust had settled… he was free. Free to… wallow, he supposed, in what he had realised weeks ago, because there was nothing that Eddie could do about it.

He remembered how it felt, being disoriented, in pain, slipping from consciousness, with those blue eyes boring into his, wide and frantic, as Buck fought hard for him, for his very life. How it felt afterwards seeing his face come into view from around the corner, smiling at him with such a genuine and unfiltered joy. Warmth, safety, and happiness – because Buck was family, that much he had decided to make official in a legal tie a year ago.

It was the overwhelming feeling of love, and relief in seeing him safe, unharmed and by his side the first chance he got, that sent Eddie’s mind reeling and down a path he couldn’t back out from. Buck was all of that to him, and more, and the feeling of longing had burrowed into Eddie’s mind, becoming a nagging and persistent sensation that made him feel… sick, flustered, and even morose.

Love – romantic and sexual love - for Eddie had always been a struggle, had wound up feeling oddly… unnatural, as though he was following the expectations of others, or his own idea of familial obligation, rather than his own heart. He was chasing something that, by all accounts, should have felt right, but with Ana… and even with Shannon, it was wrong; it all fell flat in some way. Finally becoming aware of the different light in which he saw Buck in was like a piece of himself just clicking into place; he felt whole, finally.

It was more than a little inconvenient, though, realising that he was in love with his best friend… someone that he happened to see pretty much every day, either at work or off shift. His very straight, very happily coupled up best friend. It was a lot to wrap his head around.

Of course, Eddie was being very mature about it, something he could find a small bit of pride in – because he knew he needed to get over this, to respect Buck’s happiness, his relationship with Taylor, and not ruin their friendship by foolishly expressing what he really wanted. That was the respectable, adult thing to do. So, he kept his desire quiet, and he tried his best to be the good, supportive friend Buck knew him to be, but… in a small way, he had pulled back; he knew he had. Sometimes, Eddie was allowed to act to protect himself; allowed to be a touch selfish. To get over it, he needed a bit more space than usual. It was only fair.

“Eddie,” came Hen’s voice unexpectedly; he picked up instantly on the concerned undertone.

From the corner of his eye, he could see her furrowed brows and the frown lines on her face. He wished people would stop looking at him like that – like he was to be pitied, like he was still injured and helpless. The whole team all went through their fair share of ordeals… it seemed part of the job description, but there was something about the sniper targeting them that unnerved everybody more than anything else that they had faced before. It had struck Eddie’s core, too, and brought up a lot of ugly, old wounds - he was giving therapy another try because of it… and it was going better than it had before, to his surprise.

It had been months since he was shot, significant progress had been made, but there was still an unspoken tension in the firehouse at times. It was especially bad with Buck – he had pulled closer than ever, always happy, eager even, to offer his support and help in… everything, which made Eddie’s need for maintaining some space between them all the more difficult. It also gave him a sliver of hope, and that was a dangerous thing. He had grown too dependent on Buck; he had someone else to share him with now, he thought with a pang to his chest.

“Yeah?” he returned tiredly after a delay, still staring ahead.

His gaze was fixed on where Buck was sat a small distance away with Chimney by his side, his head thrown back laughing in a moment that ought to be captured in a photograph – oh, and how that beautiful, jubilant sound leaving his mouth twisted mercilessly at Eddie’s insides.

“You’ve been moving that piece of pasta around your bowl for the last ten minutes.”

“… So I have,” he sighed, letting his fork clatter against the plate in defeat.

He’d barely touched his lunch, but his appetite had been culled. Buck’s voice was loud – it carried effortlessly across the room. So, he easily overheard Buck responding to Chimney bringing up the topic of Taylor, and it was… embarrassing, the impact it had, how easily it soured his mood.

“Is that all I get? It’s ‘going well’?” Chimney exclaimed, nudging Buck’s side, a teasing grin on his face. “C’mon, Buckley. We usually can’t get you to shut up.”

Buck laughed bashfully and lifted his head up, almost catching his eye, but Eddie averted his gaze just in time to miss it. He could’ve sworn that he caught the sight of Buck’s smile faltering. He shook his head, working to tune out that conversation as best he could.

“You know… it’s okay to need more time. If you’re not ready to be back yet, no one will think less of you,” Hen suggested hesitantly, voice soft.

“No, it’s-- not that. I’m glad to be back. This is where I need to be,” he said simply.

Eddie didn’t like where this conversation was headed – but none of it broke through to his expression, and so Hen pushed on, sympathy etched into her features.

“Then… tell me what’s bothering you? You seem down, Eddie – a lot, lately – and I can’t sit here and act like I’m not worried.”

Had it really been that obvious? It was like he, a man in his thirties, had been rendered a hapless, lovestruck teenager – with how he let his feelings for Buck affect him so obviously that Hen had not only noticed but grown worried for him. It was so tragic he could almost laugh.

“Mm, I have a therapist for that,” he said with a wry smile, but instantly regretted it as he saw how Hen leant back in her seat, lips twisting into a frown.

She was trying to help, to be a good friend, and he was dismissive of her attempt right away. His tendency to try to avoid more heavy, emotional talks was one of the issues brought up in therapy and he really was working on it, but it felt impossible, in that moment, to tell the truth, to speak the words aloud to somebody else. Even though he knew Hen would, without a doubt, understand and keep his secret for him – that it might even help for her to know, as awkward and humiliating as it might be at first.

“Sorry. I just…”

“Don’t worry about it.”

He dared to look back over to the corner where Buck was – now, he was showing Chimney pictures on his phone, which were undoubtedly of him and Taylor. Jealousy welled up inside of Eddie, burning hot, and another sigh fell from his lips as he lifted a hand to run down the side of his face. It wasn’t getting easier, only more frustrating.

When he glanced back at Hen, she was already watching him, an odd look on her face, eyes slowly widening. Realisation had already dawned before he could interject and divert the conversation.

“Wait. You-- Buck--?” she started.

Panic enveloped Eddie and, before she could go any further, he abruptly sprang to his feet, hands clasped together.

“Coffee?” he asked loudly.

Without waiting for her to give an answer, he made his escape, darting over to the countertop where the coffee pot was located. After a short pause, he noticed that Hen had made no effort to follow him, because – of course she hadn’t. What was he expecting? Her to run after him, get him into a headlock until he confessed to the revelation that he had that he was head over heels for Evan Buckley? No, this wasn’t a playground. He needed to get a grip.

His shoulders slumped as he expelled a heavy breath out into the air. He gave himself another moment, to allow his heart to stop pounding wildly in his chest, before leaning up to grab a clean mug from the cabinet.

“That was awful,” he muttered to himself, swiping his favourite from the shelf.

“What was awful?” asked Buck, suddenly, appearing at his side.

“Oh, God,” Eddie jumped, and the mug almost slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor.

Catching it and clutching at it, Eddie gave a breathless laugh.

“Nope, just me,” Buck countered, popping the ‘p’, with a toothy grin on display that caused Eddie’s stomach to start doing flips. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

Eddie’s expression softened, the hints of anxiety vanishing from his face as he lowered the mug to the surface. He reached for another, automatically, eyes still on Buck. He really was beautiful to look at, all bright, excited eyes, soft dark blonde curls, and crooked smiles – and what was most unfair about it all was that his good looks weren’t the most beautiful thing about him by a long shot.

“I’ll let you off the hook,” he grinned.

Buck leaned forward and his shoulder brushed against Eddie’s, sending a jolt through him that made him step back, the contact quickly lost. Fortunately for him, Buck didn’t seem to have noticed anything.

“So, anyway, I was wondering – you got any plans tonight?” Buck asked cheerily.

Eddie was slow to smile again, but he did, because he knew what he was about to do – give in, so easily. Space was important, but… so was spending quality time with loved ones. He could practically hear his therapist’s voice offering him encouragement.

“I think I have a spot open in my schedule,” he said slowly, giving the impression of nonchalance.

“Great! What do you say to joining me and Taylor out for drinks tonight? You could bring Ana. I think it’d be good for them to start to get to know each other better, don’t you?”

Eddie’s heart sank in his chest, eyes closing for a few seconds before he plastered a placid smile to his face. Disappointment was such a bitter taste, and… he really needed to get around to telling him about Ana. Even if he and Ana were still together and he could agree to this double date, the thought of watching Buck and Taylor together for a whole night… well, he could think of a long list of things he’d rather do instead.

“Actually, I don’t think I can – I don’t know how it slipped my mind but, after my appointment, I promised Christopher that I’d spend the night with him…”

He felt bad using his own son, someone Buck loved dearly, as a shield, but it had to be done – Buck wouldn’t question anything if it was done for Chris’ benefit.

Buck’s smile strained, and there was a look in his eyes that Eddie couldn’t quite place. He dropped his gaze to the floor, and Eddie caught his lower lip between his teeth.

“Well, what about next Friday?”

“I can’t—”

“Man, I… Eddie, have I done something?” Buck interrupted; brows knit together in worry.

“Sorry?”

He looked vaguely embarrassed – and was that a pink tinge to his face? Surely not. No, Eddie was seeing things he wanted to see. He didn’t want to play that guessing game anymore, reading into every little interaction they shared, for some kind of sign. It was exhausting.

“It’s just… I don’t know, you’re a lot busier than before, maybe, but things are definitely… different. I—miss you,” he admitted sheepishly.

Clearly, this had been bothering him for a while now, and Eddie felt stupid and cruel for ever thinking that Buck wouldn’t notice that he was limiting their time together, even if only by a relatively small amount.

“Things are different,” Eddie explained carefully, trying to figure out his wording. “It makes sense that we, er, aren’t spending as much time together, because…”

Buck waved a hand.

“I know I’ve got Taylor now and you’ve got Ana, but that doesn’t mean that—”

“Buck, I ended things with Ana,” Eddie cut across impulsively.

There was an incredibly still moment that followed, and a tense quiet descended upon them, the only sounds the muffled comings and goings and odd background chatter from their other teammates. Buck’s lips parted and he appeared to be frozen as he slowly computed this information, and Eddie was almost scared to move – to break the spell.

It was getting alarming, and Eddie was about to wave a hand in front of his face, until finally he returned to reality, snapping back with a quiet and bemused, “Wait, you did what? … Why? You two seemed so happy. I thought you… that’s why…”

Eddie shifted uncomfortably, taking in a breath as he turned to properly face Buck again, making direct eye contact. Buck wet his lip, a crease forming in his brow. Eddie wanted nothing more than to know what was going through his mind, but he was at a loss this time. Usually, he could read him so well.

Eddie shrugged – an attempt in vain to still appear casual. He knew he was way beyond that point now.

“I realised she wasn’t the one for me. And… I know everyone says it, and us first responders more than anyone, and we still sometimes forget to actually live by it… but life really is too short to spend with the wrong person. I owed it to her, and to myself, to end it.”

Buck blinked rapidly, and, really, Eddie couldn’t understand why this was all coming as such a shock to him. Had he really expected he and Ana to go the distance? For him to settle down with her?

“Eddie…”

“Yeah?”

Then, the wailing of the siren pierced through the air; whatever question had formed in Buck’s mind would have to remain there, until another time.

#buddie #buddie ficlet #buddie fic #911 spoilers #eddie diaz #henrietta wilson #evan buckley #911 fox #answered prompt

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buckleysjareau · 3 years

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alright, here’s some unpopular opinions

Sometimes, I genuinely cannot stand Buddie shippers or Buck fans. That’s saying something, considering I ship Buddie and Buck is my favorite character. I just hate the mentality some of you have that invalidate/erase things other’s have went through on the show to fit the Buddie narrative and the idea that if other’s have trauma, Buck’s doesn’t matter.

Trauma is not a competition. It’s not a matter of whose trauma is worse, and because someone else has trauma, it doesn’t make Buck’s any less valid and I feel like some of you don’t remember that.

And to completely erase something a character has been through to fit a narrative that is literally all about Buddie and that’s it? Or take a really important scene and only make it about sex and a ship. No, just no. Why would you even think about that?

A couple of examples;

The boxing scene. I saw someone take what happened in that scene and made it completely about Buddie and sex, completely ignoring so many important things in there, like Eddie’s character development for one thing. He went from the mindset that talking about his emotions made him weak and to cope with it, he ended up doing something so destructive to telling Buck that he shouldn’t apologize for telling someone how feels and that hitting things instead of talking is something he wouldn’t recommend because he’s been through it. Talk about that character development, not the way Eddie supposedly looked at Buck like he wanted to pound him into the mattress, thanks. Another thing you’re completely invalidating by doing this what Buck is really feeling, and the fact that he thinks he should apologize even though he was completely in the right. Eddie validating his feelings and telling him there’s no reason to apologize is so fucking important here and people erasing it to make it about some sick Buddie narrative is just one of the things I can’t seem to stand about Buddie shippers.

Let’s not forget the way you all like to invalidate anything involving Shannon for the sake of making it all and only about Buddie. There’s so many different ways I’ve seen people make Shannon and how Eddie feels about her into just a bridge for Eddie to how he truly feels about Buck. I’ve seen people completely erase how truly traumatizing and heartbreaking it was for Eddie to watch his wife and the mother of his child, who he still loved, die in front of him. Pieces or posts where Eddie tells Buck that Shannon dying made him realize he never really loved her and that he’s the only person he ever loved, like such complete bullshit?

Eddie let her back into both of their lives even though he was scared she was going to leave it again like she did before and... she asked for a divorce before she went and died in front of him. And you guys just think it’s okay to complete erase that to make your ship more possible?

This one isn’t even that big of a deal but saying that Eddie saying “I’m still not over it” to Bobby after what might be a date with Ana isn’t about Shannon but his feelings for Buck and then having one specific person say ‘shannon doesn’t exist to me eddie loves buck’, is not it. I mean, there was only person that actually said that one thing but don’t invalidate someones trauma for the narrative of your story.

And stop with the villainizing everyone that isn’t Buck to fit something else. That means everyone but especially Maddie and Eddie, especially if you’re villainizing Eddie to romanticize it. Maddie made mistakes to protect Buck, Eddie made mistakes because he was hurt, Buck made mistakes because he was hurt. Mistakes are always going to be made but it doesn’t make any of them bullies or abusive. I’ve already said a lot about this on my page so I’ll keep this short but abuse isn’t something to be used casually in anything and people need to stop with that.

Another extremely unpopular opinion I have and will definitely get hate for is that some of you tend to over react about things that mean nothing and would probably never happen on the show. Ana coming back? Some people acted like it was the end of the world and it’s not, I can assure you. Just like before we knew about the therapist, people thought it was the end of their ship as they knew it. But hey, that might just be the jaded realist in me. It’s okay to be upset about things but theories I’ve seen people come up with are not only worst case scenarios, but unrealistic and you get yourself upset. Breathe, it’s a TV show. It’s not a big deal.

One last things, stop involving the actors!!!!! It’s not going to make it canon, or get them to admit that they’re making it canon, it’s only going to push them farther off the internet and they’re going to stop interacting with you and they’ll end up resenting it so please, leave them out of the ship!!

#please dont hate me for this #im just fed up #evan buckley #eddie diaz #this isnt about everyone #just some people #and it makes so ugh!!!!!#maddie buckley

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lovecolibri · 3 years

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Thinking this fine morning about Buck and Eddie and how they showcase that thing where often men are not allowed physical touch in comfort, but are allowed touch for two reasons only-violence, and sex. I remember reading a story from a guy who thought he was struggling with erectile dysfunction because he would have a bad day and then try and have sex to feel better but couldn’t. And eventually him and his girlfriend figured out he didn’t actually want sex, he wanted comfort. He wanted to be held and as soon as he realized the difference in comforting touch verses sexual touch, the issue with sex went away.

I always think about that story when I think about Buck 1.0, and especially after Buck Begins. How Buck has this idea reinforced over and over again that the only time he is seen by his parents is when he’s hurt. So he allows violence to happen to his body in order to be seen and offered the comfort he’s dying for but isn’t given otherwise. I imagine Buck finally leaving home and he no longer has even that little bit of being seen, by Maddie and by his parents and he’s slowly coming unraveled and one day when he feels like he’s about to burst out of his skin, a lady puts her hand on his arm, makes advances, and he’s so lonely and touch starved and the hand on his arm feels good and hey, he’s always been good at being reckless so when she says “you wanna do something stupid?” he agrees, and that’s how it all starts for him. He spends the next however many years bouncing from bed to bed because every time it’s made clear that it’s absolutely nothing but sex. None of those women want Evan Buckley, they want a pretty face and strong arms and a willing participant. Especially one so eager to please.

Contrast that with Eddie. Eddie who grew up with ideas about how men should behave and while his upbringing isn’t so sterile and devoid of comforting touches (forever soft about Isobel crossing him before he leaves for work), it’s not particularly open to a wide range of emotional expression. And going into the military likely only reinforced the idea that whatever emotion you were having gets dealt with one of two ways, fighting, or fucking. And where he ends up, in a warzone, means a lot of fighting. I’m also thinking about how him and Shannon were apparently always good at the sex part but not at the communicating and emotional part, likely because they always just had sex instead of actually discussing anything. And when Eddie comes home, injured and struggling with PTSD which can both lead to a decreased or absent sex drive, the only avenue he thought he had left to deal with things, was fighting. After she left, we see him bonding with Christopher and gaining understanding of how unhealthy and unsustainable his coping mechanisms are. It’s hard to have random hookups when you’re a single dad working three jobs and the energy it takes to navigate hookup culture doesn’t seem worth it when he could be spending the little time and energy he has with his son. Fighting and violence isn’t something he wants for Christopher either so he’s learning how to do things differently for him. We can see clearly how he’s very tactile with Christopher, always hugging and ruffling his hair because he doesn’t want Chris to feel like he did, to grow up with the same ideas he did. But Eddie can’t quite ask yet for what he needs. So when Shannon comes back, falling into old habits is easy and then suddenly she’s gone and he is filled with such sadness and anger and he doesn’t know what to do with it all and it can only stay locked away for so long.

And I know the lawsuit/street fighting arc is a controversial one in the fandom but it makes so much sense to me. Eddie can be soft and gentle with Chris and encourage Chris to express his emotions, and still not quite know how to let himself do the same. And he and Buck have started to rely on each other, and open up to each other and the absolute betrayal Buck feels at being replaced, at no longer being seen, at becoming another ghost in another house he thought was home, makes perfect sense with his characterization and his trauma responses. And the betrayal Eddie feels at losing the person he’s learning to open up to and share his emotions with, and finding an outlet that feels comfortable when everything else around him feels difficult, and strained, and overwhelming also makes sense for him. It’s no surprise he fell into old habits.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say here, but I just love how Buck and Eddie are two sides of the same coin, one feeling alone and finding comfort in whatever body will have him for the moment, and one feeling overwhelmed and letting out all his emotions through the only emotion he knows he won’t be judged for having. And how neither way worked, not really. But they are learning to change, and grow, and they find what they need in each other. They both have similar fears of being abandoned, of not being enough, and being unwanted but they manifest in different ways. And the absolute beauty of the guardianship reveal is that Buck no longer has to fear being left behind, because he is inextricably, legally, tied to Eddie’s family. And Eddie made that choice because he knew that Buck would never leave (not by choice), and would fight for Christopher just like Eddie would. And their growth is so beautiful to see.

#911 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #i don't know what this is #i just have a lot of feelings #both of them need a lot of hugs #the way their trauma responses and love languages are so compatible #it's crying about buddie hours!

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bisexualbuck · 4 years

Text

My 911 Fic Writing Masterlist

(Last edited May 28th 2021)

I’ve finally decided to do a masterpost of all my writing for the show 911 which is the fandom I’ve written the most for. There are 33 fics in this post, holy crap.

(If anyone is interested, I’ve also written for Star Trek AOS, Leverage, the MCU, among many other fandoms.)

As a general note, I’ll say most of my fics have Buddie elements and I also try to have at least one Firefam moment. Also, please check each fic’s warnings.

This is going to be long so most of it will be under a read more.

Last thing, please! If you like any of these stories, please consider leaving a comment and reblogging this post.

Multi Chapter

Reaching In The Dark | 38.7k

It all started innocent enough but Buck can no longer deny it.

He has a stalker.

Someone so obsessed with him that they would spend hours and hours following him, unnoticed, taking pictures of him, taking notes of his habits.

But life has been so good lately, and Buck doesn’t want to worry anyone. So he tells no one about it, he can deal with it on his own.

Leave My Body | 23k

"Do you want to see how it could have been? You are so sure you've been a burden on everyone you've ever met, but I can show you the truth."

Buck dies but it's not the end.

(Inspired by the movie It's a Wonderful Life)

Encore | 20.1k

“I’m going insane.”

“Did something happen?”

A dark, bitter laugh bubbles out of Buck – a mockery of joy.

“Everything keeps happening, and it’s still the same fucking day. It’s always the same and every time it’s different and I can’t do anything.”

Buck keeps reliving the same day, over and over again.

Hurt/Comfort

Death, Be Not Proud | 10.1k

There are moments barge loudly into your life and, even as you’re going through them, you know they will change everything.

There are other moments that happen quietly, unnoticed, and it’s only afterwards that you know, looking back, that they have changed your life.

When the 118 is called to a decrepit house, they don’t think much of it.

Yet this will change their lives forever.

Silent Storm | 4.4k

Buck wakes up in the hospital.

Except he can't move. He can't speak.

But he can hear everything.

Dying Of The Light | 4.1k

If Purgatory was a place on Earth, it would be a hospital waiting room.

Buck is in a coma, brain-dead - or so that's what the doctors say anyway.

(Silent Storm told from the Firefam's POV)

No Kingdom To Come | 8k

Days pass, then weeks that soon turn into months. Buck doesn’t call, he doesn’t text.

They don’t even know if he is still alive.

Maddie files a missing person’s report. Athena checks for any mention of his name anywhere in the country.

Nothing pops up, no one calls.

Buck is gone.

The Courage To Heal | 1.4k

He remembers her perfume. Thick, flowery – it makes him retch.

Why does he remember her perfume? Every time he smells anything like it, he wants to throw up, he wants to rush in the shower and try to wash away the stink of it.

Why can’t he move on?

He’s had sex with countless people over the years, especially back in his Buck 1.0 days, so why does that encounter remain? Why does it make him sick?

Why does he feel so ashamed?

Buck opens up about Dr Wells, the therapist from season 1.

The Loneliness Never Left Me | 2k

“Buck is afraid he is gonna end up like Red, without friends, without family. He thinks the job is the only thing he’ll ever have and that he’ll always be alone.”

Silence falls around them, heavy and suffocating.

“We need to show him that he’s got us."

“Not show him,” Chim says. “Tell him.”

Forever Day | 2k

The man pulls a gun out.

He aims it at Buck’s head.

“If you take another step I will blast your brains on the ground."

Hollow | ~300

Bobby on the day of his late wife and kids’ deaths, with Athena by his side.

Those Days | ~600

A look into Eddie and Christopher having a bad day made better by having each other.

Little Hope | ~500

A moment of support between two friends, Karen and Eddie, as Hen lays unconscious in a hospital bed.

Firefam Feels

Alone Again | 1.2k

Post S04E04

After standing up for himself to his parents, Buck feels hollow.

He isn't sure how he finds himself at Athena and Bobby's home, but maybe that's exactly where he needs to be.

Make It Three | 3.2k

It takes him twenty full minutes to realize what he has said, and then it hits him like a goddamn freight train.

Oh no. Oh no.

Buck just hung up on the phone on Athena Grant telling her that he loved her like he’s been doing it every day of his life.

Oh no.

Buck slips up and tells Athena he loves her. He has a bit of a freak out.

Words Unsaid | 2.2k

“What’s going on?” Bobby and Buck say in unison.

“You two,” Athena announces, “are going to talk things out.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Buck says, like a liar. “Everything is fine.”

Buck overhears Bobby say that he's not his kid. He doesn't take it very well.

Lay You Down | 2k

Buck is sick and can't be left alone in his feverish state, but everyone is working.

Everyone but Athena.

That Which We Carry | 2.1k

Bobby stops in his tracks.

Buck is sitting on the ground, next to his own car, his keys and phone forgotten next to him. His breathing is loud and short and he has his head in his hands so that his face is hidden.

He’s having a panic attack.

To Be Loved, To Belong | 3.1k

5 times Buck almost tells his family what they mean to him.

+1 time he does.

Buried | 2.3k

It’s supposed to be a simple call.

Of course, everything goes wrong.

Just As It Was | 2.3k

After the lawsuit, Buck overworks himself trying to prove his worth to the team.

One day, he pushes too far.

Sunlight | ~500

The Buckley siblings have a bet about what Maddie and Chim’s kid’s first word will be.

Family Matters | ~500

A look into the future at Bobby’s retirement party.

Humor & Fluff

Freedom In Love | 1.1k

“You can’t keep ignoring this,” Maddie says – again.

She says it a lot. His answer is pretty much always the same.

“Actually, I can. And I think I will. This is working great for me so far. It’s like Schrödinger’s confession, if I don’t say anything, Eddie can’t reject me.”

Green Heart | 3k

Buck starts seeing a man.

Eddie worries he is being a bigot, because the idea of Buck kissing another man makes him want to punch someone.

What else could it be?

The Most Perfect Moment | 1.7k

After Shannon, Eddie never thought that he would ever want to get married again.

Yet, a little red box lays in his pocket until the perfect moment to propose comes around.He has been carrying it for weeks now, waiting.

He wants his proposal to be perfect because he knows that this is the last time he will ever be asking this question. Buck is it for him. There will never be anyone else.

Blame It On Chimney | 1k

“So anyway, that’s how Chimney saw me full-on naked.”

Eddie chokes on his beer.

How It Looks | ~400

Someone is back to haunt Chim. Well, not exactly someone. Hen is tired.

The Rest Of Our Lives | ~500

One night, one conversation that changes everything between Buck and Eddie.

Tumblr Prompts

lover, be good to me | 7.1k

This is a collection of unrelated prompts first posted on my tumblr.

(Summary of each story in the first chapter's notes)

Eddie touching Buck’s birthmark | ~300

Eddie in a relationship is a clingy Eddie | ~200

Halloween at the station | ~500

Buck & Maddie being their cute selves | ~400

Misc.

from the bottom i come running | 3.7k

Co-written with the endlessly talented ksmalltalk / @letitialewiss

Crossover with Lone Star.

Just a soccer match for charity and two men cheering on their boyfriends.

Wait, no. Eddie and Buck are not dating, no matter what Chim and Hen can say.

In the stands, Eddie befriends TK whose boyfriend is playing alongside Buck. Out on the pitch, Buck and Carlos are a force to be reckoned with.

Oh, and someone gets hurt.

safe inside | 5.6k

Co-written with the biggest-brained and most talented chasingobligion / @starlightbuck

World-famous actor TK Strand and his bodyguard Carlos find themselves seeking shelter from fans and paparazzi in a bakery Carlos knows very well.

Baking leads to a few life changes.

Breathe You In | 2k

Eddie can’t stop staring.

This selfie is going to be the death of him.Buck is shirtless, and giving the camera an intense look that leaves Eddie panting.

Buck sends a picture that tips their relationship into something new.

#911 #911 fic #buddie #firefam #evan buckley #eddie diaz #my writing #this took me FOREVER #it's also about to kill my computer because tumblr is lagging so much so i'm just gonna post #if there is an issue with the links or something else please reach out to me thanks!!#and please reblog and comment if you like my writing!!#i might come out of fic writing hiatus at some point soonish #edited

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agentlemuse · 4 years

Note

i was thinking about a buddie prompt where eddie gives buck puppy eyes (role reverse haha) to get him to make his fav dessert or something idk!! love your writing :)))

His body has betrayed him.

He supposes he can’t be too mad, it has been awhile since it decided to break down. Eddie can’t even remember the last time he was sick enough to admit he was actually sick. El Paso, if he had to guess. Before Shannon left. That’s right, she took Chris and stayed at his parents’ house so they wouldn’t catch whatever he caught. Seems so long ago now.

The thing is, he doesn’t have time to be sick. Even if he can spare a sick day from work that he purposefully reserves for Chris should he need him, he can’t exactly take time off from being a dad. He has to keep going, that’s the gig.

So trust his body to break down the day after Chris leaves for camp. His body may have betrayed him, but at least it has impeccable timing. That’s something, right?

Eddie spends the first night of Chris’ grand adventure away making a damn good attempt at coughing up his lungs. Sleep eludes him as he sweats through his sheets, the dampness of the fabric and the fever ravaging his body making his teeth chatter so hard he wakes up with a sore jaw. Doesn’t matter, he’s too nauseous to eat. He spends a good hour debating the pros and cons of laying on the cool tile floor to wait for death when Buck begins to blow up his phone.

“Look, you’ve had enough time to wallow,” Buck starts in, not bothering to wait for or offer a greeting when Eddie finally accepts the call. Eddie can’t help but grin, even as he buries his head further in his pillow. “I have given this a lot of thought and I’ve created an itinerary to keep us busy while Chris is away.”

“Can’t,” Eddie mumbles against his pillowcase, wincing at the scratchiness of his voice.

“...Why do you sound weird?”

“Dying,” Eddie states flatly, tensing against the latest round of coughing to wreak havoc on his throat.

“Are you sick,” Buck asks with concern even as Eddie coughs his confirmation. He can practically hear Buck thinking as the silence stretches for a moment. “Is someone coming to take care of you? Isabel?”

“I don’t want to get her sick.”

“I’m coming over.”

“Buck you don’t have to--” Eddie croaks, but Buck has already hung up. He should call him back. He should protest Buck risking his health and wasting his free day by taking care of him. He should do a lot of things, but he doesn’t. He knows Buck well enough to know he’d be wasting both of their time.

By the time he hears Buck’s key in the door he has dragged himself to the couch, wrapping himself up in as many blankets as he could find along the way. It may be the middle of summer, but he’s freezing. It’s the fever, he knows, but he doesn’t care. He’s cold and the blankets are comfy.

“Okay, I know you’re Mr. Tough Guy,” Buck starts in, geared up for a fight as he marches his way into the living room having clearly been practicing this speech in his head on the way over. “And I know you can take care of yourself, but it’s not going to kill you to accept some he--”

“Soup,” Eddie asks hopefully, interrupting Buck’s speech as he glances down at the bags in Buck’s hands. Buck looks like a puppet whose strings have been cut, all fight knocked out at him upon realizing Eddie isn’t going to protest his presence.

“I -- Uh, yeah. Chicken noodle. Bobby’s recipe.”

Eddie perks up a bit, pushing his face out of his blanket where he had burritoed himself in. “I like chicken noodle.”

Eddie likes to think he’s pretty good at reading Buck by now, but he’s not sure what to make of the soft expression that’s currently on Buck’s face. There’s a fondness there like when Chris hands him a piece of art he made, but something else. Something he can’t quite place. He blames his fever.

Buck gets to work on laying everything out, grabbing a bowl and spoon from the kitchen before filling a bowl up for Eddie to eat. As good as the soup smells, he’s reluctant to remove himself from his blanket, but he forces his arms out into the open air.

“You’re not wearing a shirt,” Buck observes, eyes trailing down his newly exposed skin, but surely isn’t bothering him. They’ve seen each other without their shirts plenty of times.

“I’m hot.”

“I can see that,” Buck grins, his knee tapping against Eddie’s own playfully. The back of Buck’s hand is cool against his forehead, which must explain the sudden shiver traveling down his spine. “Jesus Eddie, you really are burning up.”

Eddie shrugs, carefully swallowing sips of soup under Buck’s watchful eye. “Thanks for the soup.”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s something,” Eddie insists. Only one other person has ever made him soup when he was sick and that was his abuela when he was eight and she was in town visiting. No one has taken care of him when he was sick as an adult. He hasn’t asked, but a small part of him has always hoped someone would offer. Buck offered without prompting, so yeah, it’s definitely something. “The soup is really good. My compliments to the chef.”

Buck straightens at the praise, his smile now reaching his eyes in a way that makes his birthmark crinkle. It’s a good smile. He likes being the one to put it on Buck’s face.

“Eat up, we’ll have you feeling better in no time.”

He expects Buck to leave after he finishes eating, but instead he does the dishes before settling next to him on the couch. He expects Buck to leave when the sun starts to go down, but instead Buck runs his long fingers through Eddie’s sweaty hair without complaint, massaging his head until Eddie’s falling asleep under his touch. He expects him to leave as Eddie curls pitifully into bed, but he stays, bringing him fresh glasses of water and stroking his back as he hacks and wheezes throughout the night.

He expects Buck to leave, but he stays. He stays. He stays.

“Maybe tomorrow we can have ice cream?”

“Eddie, dairy will make your mucus thicker which will cause more draining and...Are you giving me puppy dog eyes?”

Yes, yes he was. In his defense, it always seems to work on Buck when Chris does it. Chris is much cuter and an actual child, but still.

“Please?”

“Eddie, I don’t think…”

“Please, Buck? It will make me feel better.” Buck sighs, but by lunchtime he has ice cream.

The look also gets him control of the remote, free head massages and the right to use Buck’s thigh as a human pillow. Or maybe it’s just because he’s sick. Either way, Buck doesn’t put up much of a fight, even when Eddie wipes his snot on Buck’s shirt to Buck’s absolute horror. It is almost worth the side cramp he gets from laughing and coughing so hard simultaneously.

“The kleenex are too far away.”

“They’re literally right there,” Buck exclaims, pointing towards the box sitting right in front of Eddie’s face.

“Your shirt is softer.”

“You’re disgusting.”

He is, but Buck still stays. He stays until Eddie can admit he doesn’t want Buck to go.

“I think your fever finally broke,” Buck says softly on the fourth day, his fingers moving from Eddie’s forehead to stroke through his hair. Eddie’s head rests on Buck’s thigh, still wrapped up in a pile of blankets as he lays out across the couch.

He was always going to get better. Buck was always going to leave. Still, he was hoping for a little bit longer. It’s selfish, but it’s there.

“Maybe, but you should stay a bit longer just to make sure,” Eddie ventures, voice soft as he stares ahead at the TV.

“You know, that’s probably not a bad idea.”

“And maybe, if you get sick, I could take care of you.” Eddie does look up at him then, blue eyes staring back down at him with that soft look he can’t quite place.

“I’d like that,” Buck grins, his birthmark crinkling as it reaches his eyes.

Buck doesn’t get sick for another four months, but when he does Eddie is there. Buck doesn’t even have to ask.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #soft eddie #prompts #I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG #my stuff

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enbyeddiediaz · 3 years

Note

Since I really enjoyed your thoughts on the first one I can’t help myself

Let Me Be Sad by I Prevail but it’s from Eddie’s point of view during the lawsuit arc

I think this one is gonna end up being longer than the first 💀

ok so I started by just listening to the music and not really paying attention to the words since the score of something can make or break the lyrics and the hurt and anger is palpable in the music. even without listening to the words, you know this song is about someone's pain, their hardship. the music isn't violent by any means and neither is eddie. the music is hurt, it's in pain, and it doesn't know what to do abt it which is exactly where eddie's at. you can feel eddie's pain when you watch it and see him but you know he's just trying to find a way to deal with everything somehow. the music is someone's way of dealing with their grief the only way they know how, lashing out in the only way they can. this is eddie throughout the entirety of the lawsuit and fight club arcs. he doesn't know how to deal with all the shit thrown at him.

moving on the the lyrics

"I'm holding back right now/'cause I'm numb to what's around" in his session with Frank, Eddie talks about how there were moments where he knew he should feel something, anything, but he doesn't. it's clearly something that's been happening for a while. he's tamping everything down because he needs to maintain control of SOMETHING in his life.

"I miss the life I used to have with you right here/Now everything has turned grey/And I'm blacking out the shades for now". Now this section could apply to either shannon or buck but (obviously) I'm choosing Buck. Eddie misses Buck. his world is darker without buck. to him, buck has abandoned him, left him in the dust. he doesn't know what to do except shut down. buck was the only thing other then christopher helping him keep it together and now he's gone. he misses the life they had built together, with game and movie nights and family outings. he opened up to buck and now he's gone. so instead of dealing with this, he slips on a mask. one that makes him look normal, that hides the emptiness and pain he's really feeling.

"let me be sad/even for a little while/just a chance to catch my breath/let me be sad/even for a little while/'cause it's all I have left/when all I see are the memories, I don't want to lose a thing/let me be sad, let me be sad" all this shit happened in such a short period of time (shannon, the ladder truck, buck's embolism, the tsunami, the lawsuit). he hasn't had a moment to process it, to breathe, like the song says. it's just been piled on and on and on without a break. the weight on his shoulders is immense. and now, he's looking back on the life he had built with buck (and maybe thinking about the life he might have built with him in the future) and he wants it SO. BAD. he doesn't want buck to leave him, to have to do any of this without him. but he can't. buck is gone. he's not allowed to talk to him, not allowed to see him. Chris can't see or talk to him in the aftermath of such a huge shared trauma. it feels too similar to Shannon running out on them. he wants to grieve and be sad and feel it all but he's not allowed to. he's been taught to work around the grief, not through it. push it down, step over it, don't acknowledge it. he especially can't let other people see it. we catch a glimpse of it in 2.17 where he finally allows himself to feel anything abt shannon's death. he's alone, can't let anyone know how deeply he's affected by it. he can't be seen being "weak". he can't give in, even if he desperately wants to (give into his grief OR his feelings for buck, can't acknowledge them bc then he'll have to do something abt them).

"Can you see it in my eyes I've been distant?/'Cause I can't tell if it's the end or the beginning/I know I haven't been myself, I'll admit it/And I put up walls, so if I burned any bridges just know/I'm doing everything I can to fix it/But knowing me I'll probably miss it" this makes me think of when Buck officially comes back to the 118. Buck can tell smthg is off with eddie but eddie is still distancing himself from buck. he's still angry and hurt. we all know damn well eddie WANTS to talk to buck, WANTS him back in his life, but he's not ready. this is a turning point in their relationship but it's not clear if it's good or bad until eventually buck reaches out and asks eddie to just talk to him at all, even just to yell at him. and eddie gives in. just a little, just enough to not totally wreck his relationship with buck, just enough to feel SOMETHING. But the fight club doesn't stop, and he hasn't told buck about the fight club, even if Buck knows something is up with eddie. there's still a distance between them, even if it's lesser than before. Eddie can't give in completely yet.

"these voices get so vicious/feels like I'm ripping stitches/I wish some days I could go back/before life changed, it was so fast/that time is gone and I know that/so please//let me be sad" and then the rest of the chorus. here is where I imagine eddie in the ring, angry and lashing out. he's about to reach his breaking point. he wants the life he had before. before he almost broke up with his best friend bc of a lawsuit, before his son was swept up in a tsunami and he almost lost him, before his son had nightmares abt the tsunami and his mother dying, before he almost lost his best friend in a truck bombing, before his wife asked for a divorce and then died the next day. before everything went to shit. but he can't have that, and he knows it. things have changed permanently. and again, he wants to grieve it, wants to let himself feel sad about it, but he doesn't know how. it goes against everything he's been taught. he doesn't know how to let go and give in to what he's feeling.

the chorus repeats a couple times and then there's a repetition of the beginning stanza: "I'm holding back right now/(let me be sad)/'Cause I'm numb to what's around/I miss the life I used to have with you right here/now everything has turned to grey/And I'm blacking out the shades for now". while lyrically it's the same, it feels different emotionally. in the beginning the "for now" feels like forever, like there's no end, this is just where he's going to be for the rest of his life. however, it currently feels like there's a light at the end of the tunnel. he's back on speaking terms with buck, they're having game nights again. he still misses what he had before, but maybe now, eventually, he can move on. maybe soon he can give in. maybe soon he can work through the grief instead of around it. maybe he can do it with buck.

#im not sure if this makes sense my vision has gone blurry #this was fun tho in the 'i love to overanalyze things' kinda way #eddie diaz #buddie #911 #911 fox #911 on fox

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set-phasers-to-whump · 3 years

Text

“i can’t lose you too”

prompt: “i can’t lose you too” (alt no.2)

whumpee: eddie diaz

fandom: 911

hi here is Another eddie fic. its set at some point after shannons death and the lawsuit but idk when. use ur imagination i guess :)

Buck’s running back into the burning building before Eddie can even reach out and touch him, stop him. One second he’s next to Eddie and Bobby, surveying the flames, and the next there’s the sound of a scream from inside the house, and Buck’s taking off.

Without even thinking, Eddie moves to follow him, but he’s stopped by Bobby’s firm hand on his shoulder. He knows he could shrug him off, chase after Buck, but there’s something in the way Bobby’s grabbing him that stops him from moving.

He watches, stock-still, as Buck reenters the building, which moments ago the team had vacated due to its being too unstable. And Eddie knows, knows, he’d do the same thing Buck is doing now, hell, he would be doing it, were it not for Bobby holding him back with that firm grip that screams something is wrong.

“You are not following him,” Bobby says, at the same time that he pushes the button on his radio.

“Buck, get out of there, now,” he instructs, and his voice is forceful but there’s a note of fear underlying it that makes Eddie’s blood run cold. Bobby’s hand clamps down harder on his shoulder, almost painful now.

“Don’t,” he instructs, leaving no room for argument.

Buck’s voice comes back through the radio, slightly garbled. “Almost got her,” Eddie manages to make out. He breathes a sigh of relief, feels Bobby’s hand relax slightly from his shoulder. Maybe there hadn’t been anything to worry about, maybe he should run in after Buck now, maybe...

The roof of the house caves in with a deafening crash that leaves an eerie silence in its wake. No one speaks, no one moves, for one single second, and then everyone is moving into action, and all Eddie can think is not him too. Buck can’t be dead.

He tries his own radio, calling out to Buck, but gets no reply. All around him other firefighters are moving, and even Bobby’s in action, leaving Eddie to do whatsoever he pleases, but Eddie doesn’t do anything. He feels frozen. He feels helpless. He can’t lose Buck.

He can’t move. He stares at the ground and tries to not think about Buck trapped or hurt or dead. He tries not to think about Shannon, about her blood on the concrete and the way it had felt to know that someone he loved was dying.

It is happening again. He still can’t move.

And then, there’s a shout, and he forces his eyes up. For a second, he doesn’t believe what he’s seeing. But there he is - Buck, stumbling out of the ruins of the building, an unconscious woman thrown over his shoulder, alive.

Eddie watches like he is outside of everything as Buck carries the woman to Hen and Chim, who are prepped with a gurney. He watches Buck remove his helmet, looking sweaty and sooty but otherwise completely fine.

He sees Bobby approach Buck, sees the two hug, sees Bobby smack Buck lightly on the back of the head. He sees Hen and Chim climb into the ambulance with the woman, sees Bobby gesture at it and Buck shake his head.

He still feels like he can’t move.

And then he sees Buck look around, meets his eyes through the visor of his own still-on helmet, and feels his eyes fill unwittingly with tears. He tears his gaze away, forces his feet to finally move, but away from Buck, until he’s hidden in the shadow of the truck.

A moment later, Buck approaches him, and he really does look so alright that Eddie damn near collapses in relief.

—

Buck follows Eddie behind the truck, curiosity overtaking the adrenaline that’s slowly stopping its relentless course through his veins. His mind is going a mile a minute, wondering why Eddie’s apparently hiding from him, rather than maybe congratulating him on his epic rescue or berating him for not waiting for Eddie to come along, or something, anyway.

He steps into the shadow of the truck, sees Eddie’s head raise to look at him, sees him stumble backwards until he collides with the side of the truck.

“Whoa, you good?” Buck asks, hurrying to his best friend’s side. He tries to reach out and place a steadying hand on Eddie’s shoulder, but Eddie pulls away.

“Hey,” Buck says, his voice now all seriousness. “Eddie. What’s wrong?”

Eddie isn’t looking at him. His face is turned away towards the ground, and his helmet is still on his head, like he’s just forgotten to take it off, which isn’t like him. Something’s wrong.

“Eddie,” Buck repeats, stepping closer. “Eddie.”

Very carefully, he reaches up and removes Eddie’s helmet, looking for the first time at his face.

It’s hard, lips drawn thin and eyes steely like he’s angry, or concentrating really hard on something that he doesn’t want to be concentrating so hard on. “Eddie,” he says again, for what feels like the millionth time. “What’s wrong?”

And then Eddie’s face isn’t all hard and drawn. It’s scrunched up and has the look of someone trying - and failing - to keep themself controlled. And he’s crying. It takes Buck a second to process that, and as soon as he does, he feels worry rush through him. Eddie doesn’t cry.

He’s already standing pretty close to Eddie, but he steps closer still, until their bodies are nearly touching.

“Please, Eddie,” he says. “Tell me what's wrong.”

Eddie breathes in a shuddery inhale, sniffles, and wipes a hand under his eyes that doesn’t do much of anything as his tears continue to fall. Part of Buck wants to reach out and brush them away, to touch Eddie, to let him know he’s not alone in whatever this is.

Not that he’d do that now, bring this whole new thing into their relationship when it’s clear there’s something that’s not right.

“I-” Eddie starts, then stops, breath heaving.

“It’s okay,” Buck says, as comfortingly as he can. “Nice and slow, yeah?”

Eddie nods, and then speaks, his voice as soft and as scared as Buck has ever heard it.

“You went back in there. You went back and I couldn’t follow you and then the roof collapsed and then you were just...you were just gone. And I couldn’t move and I thought you must be dead and I can’t - you can’t die, Buck, I can’t lose you too.”

Eddie leans his head back against the truck when he’s finished speaking, and this time Buck doesn’t stop himself. He puts a hand out, touches it to Eddie’s cheek, presses their foreheads together, and for a second just breathes, hoping like hell Eddie won’t shove him off.

He doesn’t, so Buck takes that as his cue to speak. “You’re not losing me, Eddie,” he says, and he wants it to be a promise, but it’s one he knows he can’t make.

“You don’t know that,” Eddie whispers. “You don’t…”

“I know I can’t make any promises,” Buck agrees, voice equally soft. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t try my hardest to stay with you.”

For a second after that, neither of them speaks. Buck listens to Eddie’s breathing, hearing it slowly even out. Their foreheads are still pressed together, and Buck’s hand is still on Eddie’s cheek, and he can feel that they’re on the edge of something.

He pulls back just a bit, looking at Eddie. He’s sweaty and tearstained and there’s this look on his face that Buck thinks he would do anything to banish forever, but despite all of that Eddie looks beautiful. He looks like something that Buck, too, can’t lose.

So he says it, pushes himself off that edge. “Listen, Eddie. We both know I can’t make any promises. I can’t swear that I’ll stay by your side forever. You can’t swear you’ll stay by mine. But that doesn’t make us any less real. It doesn’t make us weaker. I think...I think maybe it makes us stronger, you know? Knowing what we could lose, fighting to never lose it. I am not letting you lose me that easily. I’m not letting Chris lose me that easily. I’m not leaving you if I can help it.”

He takes a breath, meets Eddie’s eyes, wonders if he needs to say it.

“I love you,” Eddie says, and he looks down, away from Buck, like he’s not sure Buck’s gonna say it back.

Buck gently grabs Eddie’s chin, guiding his head up so they’re looking at each other again. He looks into Eddie’s eyes and smiles, sees the ghost of a smile appear on Eddie’s own face.

“I love you too, Eddie. And that is something I can promise will never change.”

hope you liked this! i feel like i am getting repetitive with this kinda story but oh well. my fic my rules yadda yadda. but yeah thanks so much for reading! hope you enjoyed even if it was repetitive :)

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhumpday24 #911 #eddie diaz #i can't lose you too #emotional whump #crying #comfort #look i am occasionally Soft ok. esp for them.#my writing #i say things

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purplerose244 · 4 years

Text

Things I want to see in Wizards 😍

We're a month away and will possibly get a trailer anytime now (ANYTIME NOW DREAMWORKS), so since I saw posts like this around I wanna put my thoughts down too... along with a few that most definitely won't happen but a girl can dream 😅

Troll Jim with human clothes, I know this is a popular one and I COMPLETELY AGREE gives this kid a sweater or something comfy PLEASE it's the LEAST he deserves 😭

Merlin gets his dusty butt kicked. Don't care if he's the villain or not, although that would be glorious. I just want him to suffer 😈😈

Jim vs Aja? Not necessarily as final battle or anything, maybe even a simple misunderstanding and they spar for a few. But these two are so amazing, I would love to see a duel 🤩🤩

SECRETS. ABOUT. FIALKOV. AND. CORANDA. I know we all noticed how fishy they were sometimes, I know Gaylen's core is probably heavily involved (@akozuheiwa I know you agree), it just feels like they left bringing with them so many stuff! There has to be something behind...

Douxie's backstory. Very excited to see what kind of change he will bring, with Arcie and the all "the world is ending... again". He seems like another good boy 💙

MUSIC. MOMENT. KREL. This Akiridion precious child is blessed with Manolo's voice and has even stolen a guitar once! He clearly remembers his past lives! MAKE HIM SING!!! (bonus points if he is with Douxie and the Ash Dispersal Pattern 👌👌)

Random Shannon and her girlfriend, even secondary stuff is fine, the show did some minor LGBT background thing before so why not? I would be soooooo happy ☺

The creepslayerz BACK. I know Eli must be having the time of his life right now, but I miss my babies together 😭

Also Steve, just Steve, Steve is great... wasn't a post saying that Steve was going to be important? Because how DOPE would be Wizard!Steve??? 🤯

The fact that Krel (Akiridion), Toby (Trollhunter) and Douxie (Wizard) are in Arcadia being meaningful. Something might happen that will force AAARRRGGHH!!! and Stuart to leave, so there are indeed one extraterrestrial, one trollhunter and one wizard in Arcadia. Maybe that's prophecy or some stuff 🤷‍♀️

... Kreamus? I know it's not likely 😅 Still, if you know me you know it would make my life to see that happen 💙💙💙 Just putting it in case a portal to a parallel opens and I can see it happen there 😛

Okay, for Krel I know Krary might happen, and I don't necessarily have something against it. But him turning out to be gay, or not having interests at all, I think would be more interesting and memorable. But I'm not fixed on this, if they manage to do good like they did with other ships, I might be fine with Krary. We'll see 🤔

Couples being cute. Jlaire, Staja, Stricklake, Zadrita (Don't know if Zadra will even appear... or if they have a ship name 😅), and more to come 💕💕

Also friendships. BROTPs. GIMME 🤩

The wormhole generator being important. Like, come on. You can't tell me my baby boy crushed the laws of physics for this thing to be used and then left in standby. Guys... IT'S A WORMHOLE. Don't care if it will cause problems, don't care if it will cause good. JUST USE IT 😎

... a happy ending? 😅 That would be cool, maybe... maybe without anyone I care about dying? Like... come on 😭😭

There are probably more but these are probably the ones I'm most interested into. I know I wanna know more about Zoe, and seeing Morgana again would be DOPE.

Hopefully the full poster or a teaser will come out, PLEASE!!! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

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royalbluehues · 4 years

Text

Come Back to Me. Pt. 2

Title: Come Back to Me. Pt. 2

Author: royalbluehues

Warnings: None.

Pairings: William Schofield x Reader

Author’s Note: It’s here, lassies. The second part. Next part should be coming soon.

Would you want to see a second part of I Promise? Let me know!

I love seeing your kind words and thoughts! They make me happy! :) A drabble with Tom is currently in the works, so keep an eye out for that.

Part 2: Dressing Down

“You girls will be aiding the nurses in making beds, handing out food, caring for the injured, sterilizing the instruments,” Matron Carter spoke, “tasks such as those will be executed professionally.”

The middle aged woman sat her clipboard down on her small desk, “If you remember the contract you signed back home, you will keep in mind that the Red Cross does not tolerate any unprofessional behavior. You came to care for the sick and the dying, not to be lollygagging.”

She looked to Kitty, one of the English girls, who was looking down and twiddling her thumbs, “Is there something you would like to say, Miss Stanton? You’re fidgeting quite an awful lot.”

Kitty’s green eyes look up in guilt, and you bent your head forward with eyes furrowed to look at the girl.

“Of course not Matron Carter. Not at all. Just nervous to begin is all.” Kitty spoke languidly, despite her nervous twitches.

“And you,” the Matron spoke, whipping her head to where you were standing, “I’ve been told that you were walking about unsupervised. What do you say for yourself?”

You straightened your back, eyes wide as you looked at the matron with contained panic. All eyes were on you now, and Kitty’s head was bent to look at you in the same fashion you had with her. Matron Carter’s grey eyes sized you up quizzically, waiting for your response.

“I was just going for a walk,” you told her honestly, wishing you could turn your head to snap at the other girls to stop looking at you, “To clear my head.”

“To clear your head?” The Matron Carter repeated, “Girl, you are near the front lines. A few miles north and the Germans are there ready to shoot down anything that moves in sight.”

You felt your cheeks redden deeply, “I apologize Matron Carter. It won’t happen again.”

You narrowed your eyes, too embarrassed to meet eyes with her. Kitty and Shannon had told you and Lila about how severe the Matron was.

“Had she been a man,” Kitty once told you as she pinned her hair in place, “she would have met all the requirements to be a drill sergeant.

Now you were receiving the sting of the statement.

“That goes to all of you,” the head nurse peered over to the other girls, “I’ve a tight ship to maintain. Kitty and Lila, I’ll be requiring you to help with the kitchen today, allow the boys working there to rest a bit. The two of you,” she spoke to you and Shannon as she lifted a paper up from the clipboard, “will be fixing the beds in the medical tents and rolling bandages. See to it that you assist any of the surgeons or doctors if they need help.”

She picked up her pencil, scribbling away at the paper, and all four of you stood ramrod straight, waiting for her next instruction.

You would estimate that you waited for a solid two minutes.

She peered up at you all from her activity, “Well?” She said coldly, “Go on then! You’re wasting time!”

You were the first one to exit the tent, hands clasped as you let out a sigh of relief from leaving her proximity.

“The kitchens!” Kitty bemoaned, “What am I to do at the kitchens?” She grumbled when she was far enough where the matron wouldn’t hear.

“I hear they have a lovely assortment of turnips at the moment,” you put in, smiling cheekily to her.

“Oh hush,” Kitty told you, jutting her bottom lip out, carefully stepping around a pile of mud that had formed from the rainfall only hours before, “You know what I can’t fathom?” She asked, not waiting for a response, “We’ve come to help doctors, not bloody cook.”

Lila frowned at her companion, “Kitty that’s not nice, what if we were the ones in the trenches? Besides,” she told her, lifting her skirts to hop over the pile, “I’m sure we’ll make a better meal then the ones the boys have been cooking up.”

Lila, who came with you on the ship to England, held a sweet heart, always looking for the positives in situations. She had come from Cincinnati, and had easily befriended you upon meeting.

“Cheer up Kitty,” Shannon piped up from behind you, “You might catch yourself a suitor.”

Kitty whose head lolled to the side, nodded, “Well I suppose you’re right. Well, I suppose we won’t be seeing much of each other until the day becomes night. Tooda-loo.”

She offered her arm to Lila, who hooked her arm with hers, and smiled at you and Shannon. “Take care ladies.”

“To you two as well,” you responded, beginning to walk in the opposite direction, “Don’t tire yourselves out.”

“Kitty’s got a point you know,” your British companion told you, “about actually helping. Not doing menial tasks.”

“Shannon,” you said sighing, “I don’t think the nurses will ever truly accept us. They just see us as help, not actual trained nurses.”

“But we are!” She exclaimed dishearteningly, “I had to go through classes to get my certificate!”

“I suppose it isn’t good to complain about such things now. We’re here and that’s all that matters.” You replied, looking around at the bustling activity.

You heard Shannon mutter about your ‘American enthusiasm’, but you ignored her.

Upon reaching the tent, you began your work. Changing the bedding, replacing it with the new ones, fluffing pillows. You made small chat with Shannon and was introduced to the head doctor.

Your time passed slowly, and the gust of wind did little to alleviate the cold you were feeling. By now, it was nearly midday, and you and Shannon were sitting on opposite sides of the large tent, with baskets full of bandages at both your feet.

You were too concentrated on your task, rolling each bandage and tucking it in itself, laying it neatly in a small pile beside you. You shivered as the wind crashed against you.

You failed to hear your name being said in a low murmur, but heard Shannon plainly say, “She’s over there.”

You looked up mid-roll, seeing the tall man from the night before. You smiled brightly in greeting, “William.”

He came to you with his helmet held between his hands, reminding you much of a boy being scolded for getting caught, “Hullo.”

“How’s the day faring you?” You asked as you finished rolling the bandage, and then looking up at him through your lashes.

He shifted his weight and hooked one finger to ring the sweater at his neck, enthusiastically saying, “It was fine!” He turned red, clearing his throat, “I- uh, it’s been fine, thank you.”

You stood from your chair, moving the basket to the side, “That’s always something lovely to hear,” you told him, looking down as you fixed your white apron.

He took a step back, allowing you space, “I wanted to apologize for not coming earlier.”

You shook your head, “It’s unforgivable, lance corporal. Truly unforgivable,” you jokingly quipped at him, stepping aside as you gestured towards the chair, “Sit, please.”

He moved to sit, a small smile tugging at the upper corners of his lips. “Now let’s see here,” you mumbled, moving his chin up and to the side.

The young man watched you with alert eyes, noticing the way the small curl by your right ear bounced in the wind. He held his breath as you moved closer to inspect.

“A nasty gash.”

“Just a scratch,” he countered, “Nothing serious.”

You moved to reach for the wet rag lying in a bowl of water, ringed it, and began cleaning his neck, “I’ve been trained to take any form of injury seriously, William.” When dirt gathered on the rag, you went back to rinse it, ring it, then come back to clean once more. “You’ve any other gashes?”

He sniffed, “Well there's one on my arm, but-”

“But nothing.” You interrupted, “I need to be thorough with my work.”

“Alright then,” He said, the same small pull of his lips returning.

“Tell me more about your home,” you told him, stepping back from your work. You avoided meeting his eyes, feeling them on you as you uncapped the made Dakin’s solution. You wet the small piece of cloth at your fingertips.

“What would you like to know?” He asked you quietly, in a softly spoken manner.

You hummed, “Tell me about your picnics with your mother.”

He shifted in the chair, tilting his head up when you moved in with the antiseptic, “Well, Mum really enjoys cooking. She’d pack meat pudding for us to eat. That was dad’s favorite.”

You dabbed at the cut, watching as he did the slightest of flinches that could have gone unnoticed had you not been studying him. He suddenly smiled, a genuine smile that made his eyes crinkle around the edges.

“There was one time Mum had packed our meal the night before, and I managed to sneak into it. She enjoys baking, and she had just made a batch of biscuits. But not just any biscuits,” he told you, eyes rounding as they met yours, “she made her shortbread biscuits, and I managed to get my hands on them. She was so mad that she told me that she’d never make them for me again. Nearly threw a fit, I did. But she still made them after. That day she had another tin hidden and took it with us. When we’d go, she’d put down a sheet, one with flowers all around it. She’d take a book with her and read, and if she wasn’t in the mood to read then she’d take her knitting with her.”

“And what would you do?”

“Oh, I’d play. At that age you can find entertainment in nearly anything. I’d climb the willow tree that resides just by the river. Sometimes I’d watch the boats sail by, or see if I could see any fish.” He scratched at his chin, looking off, “Dad made me a boat out of some spare wood he had. I’d play with that, too.”

He had absentmindedly taken off his jacket by know, rolling up his shirt to show you the long scratch running up his right arm. “Is your father at home?”

He shook his head, “No. He died a few years ago. He got sick.”

You frowned, both at his words and at his cut, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. Not your fault.” He let you lift his arm and tap around the wound, “What about you?”

You paused your movements, “What would you like to know?”

“Tell me about your home.”

You gently set down his arm and nodded. “When I think about home, I like to think of how my apple tree is faring. She’s a beautiful thing, just outside my bedroom window. Around spring time I’d purposefully leave my window open so when I’d wake my entire bedroom floor was covered in petals. Have you ever seen an apple tree in bloom?”

He stayed quiet, but only for a moment, “Yes. I’ve seen cherry blossoms as well.”

You dabbed at the cut with solution, “Well, at home we only have apples. I’ve never seen a cherry tree before, but I can imagine they’re similar.”

“Yes,” He replied quietly, “Quite.”

The tone of his voice made you look up, “Are you alright?”

He lifted his eyebrows, looking at the irritated area around the cut, “Yes, I’m alright.”

You eyed him thoughtfully, noting the way his demeanor became despondent. “What else would you like to know?”

He inhaled deeply, speaking as he exhaled, “Do you have someone waiting for you back home?”

You let out a small laugh, “Other than my mother and father and brother, no. Nobody special if you mean it in that regard. And you?”

He shook his head, “No. I’ve no one either.”

You wrapped his arm in a light gauze, pinning it securely and then shimmying down his sleeve. “On that note, you’re all patched up.”

He looked as if he did not know what to do, only looking down where your fingers pulled at his jacket, “Oh.”

He then looked up at you, “Can I meet you later? When you’re alleviated from your duties?”

It was your turn to blush, “Oh, I’m afr-”

“No she cannot.”

William watched the color drain from your face. You moved to stand ramrod straight, clasping your hands behind your back, holding the rag soaked with solution. “Matron Carter.”

“Was is it that you’re doing?” The nurse asked you, eyeing William sitting in the chair.

“I was cleaning his wounds, ma’am.” You told her quickly.

“And what of this meeting later on?” She asked you coldly.

You shook your head cheeks deepening in color, “Oh, no, ma’am. I was just about to tell him that due to protocol-” Your words died away under her stare. Your mouth opened and closed like a fish that has been plucked from water.

The stout woman frowned in disapproval, “I do not need to be constantly reminding you girls that you cannot stray from your duties, nor can you begin affairs with the men.”

You were taken aback, eyes widening in horror, “Matron Carter you are severely mistaken-”

“It was my mistake,” The man behind you piped up, standing to stand beside you. “I did not know that the nurses were not suppose to mingle amongst us.”

“Well best keep it in mind, lance corporal. While you’re at it, you can inform the other men.” She glared up at him with a stony look. “The volunteers have enough work as it is.”

She walked away, leaving you astonished.

“Forgive me,” William apologized once again, “I didn’t know.”

You blinked, moving to take the wrapped bandages, “Don’t be silly. It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was, though. I’ll keep my distance. Thank you for helping me.”

You said nothing, still mulling over the head nurse’s words. Just thinking about it made your throat tighten in anger.

When you finally processed his, however, and when you had turned to face him, he was already gone.

Masterlist

Tags: @sexyskywalker @aathepenguin

#william schofield x reader #william schofield #william schofield imagine #lance corporal schofield #1917 fanfic #george mackay x reader

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cirrius-akiyo · 4 years

Text

YOU ARE MADE OF STARDUST

(Part 1/?)

Evan: I'm craving for cheesecake. I'm going out to get some. Do you want any?

Eddie is helping Hen stocking up the ambulance after their last call depleted 'em dry when the notification came in. His eyebrows shot up after reading the message.

Eddie: You know you are not allowed to drive yet. I'll get you some later.

Evan: :( But the doctor said I'm clear for light activities. I'm driving. Not running there. :<

Eddie: Which is still a bad idea with your condition.

Evan: But I'm dying for a cheesecake. How could you. :(

Eddie: You will not die from a cheesecake craving.

Evan: Meanie. I'll have the bed for myself tonight. >:(

Eddie can't help but to let his eyes roll so far, he thinks he saw his brain back there. He can actually hears how Buck is huffing in displeasure right now, looking like a kicked giant golden-retriever. He knows Buck is joking with the "d" word, but after experiencing how near death is always lurking around, the word just send shudders to his spine.

He can hear Hen snorts in amusement beside him. "Already looking for trouble, that husband of yours?" Hen teases in mirth.

Eddie just shakes his head in resignation. "According to him, he's dying for a cheesecake and wanted to drive out to get some. And now I'm the bad person for not allowing him to." Eddie rants, hands swinging around to make his point.

Eddie understands the house rests are driving Buck crazy. Not allowed to do everything he usually does himself must be frustrating. If anything, Eddie is actually proud with his husband for not throwing much tantrum in the course of his healing. Eddie's eyes proceed to linger on his phone's wallpaper, the recent image of Buck and Chris snuggled in their blanket fort acts as a reminder for him that Buck is still here.

Hen, blessed the patron of observance that she is, notices how Eddie's facial expression suddenly falls. She gingerly moves closer to Eddie, patting his back in an consoling motion. "Eddie. Buck is okay. Little scratch there, but he is fine." Hen enunciates to Eddie slowly, like she usually would when comforting the distressed victims during calls.

That makes the wall Eddie has build so thick and high crumbling down.

"But he almost not be." Eddie chokes on tears. "He almost leave us, Hen. Buck almost died." Eddie swallows the bitter taste on his tongue. Oh God. Saying that out loud just make the whole ordeal more concrete. More tangible than Eddie had previously perceived. He was in a state of constant obscurity after the doctor delivered the news when Buck was admitted to the hospital. Feeling like the color of the world seeped out from the corner of his eyes, leaving only grayish fog in his view.

Hen is now hugging Eddie, letting him to cry out his burden away. "Hey now. It's okay. Everything will be just fine."

"But what if it's not? I kissed another woman on the night before he collapsed, Hen." Eddie admits. He never tell anybody about that night, too ashamed of himself. But also afraid of the judgment that may come with it.

Hen stalled. Her face morphes in confusion.

"But isn't that the night of the parents-teachers conference?" Hen frowns, recalling her memory to that day. It's not like Eddie goes to a bar or something.

Eddie nods weakly.

"Who?" Hen queries. Her face returns back to neutral and it make Eddie queasy in his stomach even more.

"Ana."

Oh boy. Hen knows Buck is insecure about Shannon, uncomfortable with the thought that he is replacing her in the Diaz's household. Hen also knows other women that Buck are still insecure about are Lena and Ana, both of different reasons but it is not her place to say.

"Have you talk about it?" Hen then pries. She is still regretting the day she decided to cheat on Karen with her ex, and the downfall Denny might has to suffer. She knows what had happened between Karen and her was bad, so she is confident Buck and Eddie will come back from this, seeing that Buck didn't kicked Eddie out of his hospital room once he woke up actually lucid.

"He forgives me, Hen. Easily." Eddie sighs. He still feels like he doesn't deserve love from Evan Buckley. Evan Buckley-Diaz now. "He forgives me too easily." Eddie murmurs under his breath, not intending for Hen to hear, but she heard them anyway.

"If Buck forgives you, then maybe you need to start forgiving yourself too." Hen offers.

"We're only humans floating on a rock

But I think that you are made of stardust

Unconditional, you put up with so much

I can never repay the way you love

Back to the sky, we all have to fly back home, back home

The sweetest goodbyes are never with smiles at all"

///

Eddie swings open their house door without any grace, blaming his occupied hands. He can hear the clacking sound of his son's crutches and the stomping of Buck's socks-clad feet coming towards him. Within seconds, his once full hands are left empty when the box exchanged ownership. The duo are gone as fast as they come, robbing the cake away from Eddie.

"Well hello to both of you, too." Eddie huffs in mock annoyance.

The boys are too busy in deciding which flavor of cheesecake to start off with to even acknowledge Eddie's jeer. Eddie just smile fondly, not slightly bothered. He then snakes his hands around Buck's waist and pulls on his stomach so that Eddie's chest collides with his husband's back, tendering a chaste kiss to the corner of Buck's full lips.

"Kiss later Daddy. Pops and I need to choose now." Chris admonishes him, as if Eddie just disrupt their very top-level mission.

"Listen to our son. You know how much this decision is important to both of us. And you have me tortured all day craving for these." Buck teases, fluttering his eyelashes sinfully.

"Well, sorry for missing my husband." Eddie pulls his lips downwards, feigning hurt but tighten his hug regardless.

"You know I miss my cheesecake more than ever today. So can you please go take a shower while we plate this. You stink." Buck continues to bat his eyelashes, poking fun at Eddie.

Loosening his hold on his husband, Eddie reluctantly walks over to their bedroom, ready to wash away the day. Being alone in their room, Eddie remembers what Hen had said. Forgiving himself. Eddie never thought that is an option until Hen had spelled out to him today. It is a nice concept. Nevertheless, Eddie cannot see himself doing just that yet. Eddie feels like if he ever forgives himself, then whatever Buck has endured is meaningless. Eddie does not deserve the salvation, what more from himself no matter how nice the sentiment is.

Eddie is brought back to the reality when his phone vibrates in his back pocket.

Evan: Better be quick. I'm not to be accountable for a sugar-high child tonight. ;)

Eddie lets out a chuckle, his self-loathing forgotten for a moment.

***

Showered and shaved, Eddie steps out to the kitchen where Chris and Buck are still sitting around their plates of half-eaten cheesy and sugary goodness, chatting about something school related. Seeing Eddie, Buck immediately stood up and walks towards the oven, pulling out Eddie's share of dinner, still perfectly warm when Eddie took the plate from Buck. What has Eddie done in his previous life to deserve this man.

Sitting down next to Chris, Eddie can see the anticipation bubbling from Buck's face as he scoops up a hefty serving of lasagna with his spoon. Eddie doesn't need to pretend. He actually honest to God lets out a huge appreciative moan when he took the bite. No offense to Bobby, but Buck is surpassing the Captain in no time in the cooking department.

And there are the twinkles again.

The twinkles that Eddie has longed before and now seeing them making their comeback just make Eddie's appetite that somehow was lost to grow.

"I love you." The words automatically fall out of his mouth, despite being loaded with food. He can imagine Abuela scolding him for talking with his mouth full.

Buck's cheeks tinted with pink. "You only love my cooking." Buck flusters, eyes looking everywhere but Eddie. His forks keep poking the remaining cheesecake in his plate. He's used with Eddie's declarations of loves, but often they are done privately. Other time is just chaste exchange of kisses and hand-holding or sometimes they were said in playful banter. Not in serious manner as how Eddie just did.

Chris, blessed his innocent soul supplies, "No Pops. Daddy really loves, loves you. He's very sad when you're sick." Oh. Buck knows Eddie must be worried, but he is good at masking his emotions especially in front of Chris. For Chris to be able to see that, Eddie must has shown his vulnerability, which is unusual. Now the pink has changed to red.

Eddie think it is impossible for Buck's cheeks to get redder than this. Eddie can actually see the flush travels down his neck to his chest and he tries his best suppressing the urge to imagine how far the tint goes like they usually does when they are in their bed. A child is present, Eddie.

"I, I... I love you, too." Buck finally confess shyly.

Chris cheers in delight while finishing his last bite of cake in one inhale.

"Am I still on the couch tonight?" Eddie wiggles his eyebrows seductively which only successfully making Buck to blush deeper.

"You are."

"But when our lives are running out

And your heartbeat has taken the draw

Could you try to look around?

I'll be there to pull you back up

I'll be around you

I'm nothing without you

I won't leave you alone

'Cause when the stars are falling down

There's love in the dark (I'll be there) (I'll be there)

There's love in the dark (I'll be there) (I'll be there)"

///

Eddie in fact did not end up on the couch.

Waking up to some delicious smell is not foreign in the Buckley-Diaz household now Buck has taken over the position as their chief chef. Buck literally is their savior, saving Chris and him from the damnation cereals, frozen meals and takeouts.

Eddie rubs the sleep off his face, still feeling the leftover fatigue from yesterday. A 48 hours shift will never get easier no matter how accustomed his body might be.

No matter how inviting the smell is, he knows he needs to wash up first or else Buck will dismiss him from the kitchen. "We don't mix filth and food at this table, Eddie." Not that Buck really mind when Eddie christened the kitchen, making Buck bending over the dining table some times ago.

Later Eddie will find vast array of baking ingredients on the kitchen counter still unpacked in the shopping bags.

"What are you doing?" Eddie asks once he steps into the kitchen.

Buck turns around from the stove. "Erm...French toast?" He then expertly flips the toast to its other side. "Yours will be ready in a minute."

Eddie shuffles closer, stroking Chris' hair who is happily nibbling at the toast Buck had prepared for him.

"No, Evan. I'm talking about the baking ingredients. Did you go out to buy all this?" Eddie's voice full of concern.

Buck proceeds to transfer the toast to an awaiting plate before turning off the stove. "What if I did?" He challenges defiantly.

"Evan, you know you shouldn't drive by yourself. Not yet." Eddie pulls Buck's hands into his.

Buck's face breaks into mischievous grin. "No, you worrywart. Carla brought this over when she stopped by this morning."

Eddie doesn't realise he was holding his breath. "Why didn't you ask me to buy them for you?"

Buck actually scoffs. "Because you will mess with the list, opting sub-standard brands in favour for cheaper ingredients. Which I will not tolerate because this is too important."

"And what is this that is too important to not have subpar ingredients in them?" Eddie knows Buck loves to bake, more than cooking actually. But the amount of ingredients on their kitchen counter is almost equivalent to what a bakery needs daily.

That only makes Buck to grin even wider. "Tell your Daddy, Chris." Buck calls out.

"Bake Sale!" Chris shouts in excitement from his chair, hands high in the air cheering to the news.

///

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Eddie chance a glance to Buck who is still unpacking the ingredients from the shopping bags, separating them from dry to wet. They have enough ingredients to bake almost anything, so Chris is in the living room, tasked to research on what will they bake for the school's Bake Sale.

Buck looks at Eddie with confusion etched on his face. "Why wouldn't I be?" Buck asks without hesitation.

Eddie exhales. "Ana will be there." Now Eddie wish for a hole to swallow him down so he doesn't have to face his husband scrutinizing eyes.

Buck pauses. "So? Why is that a problem?" Buck replied back, tone almost challenging.

Eddie doesn't really know how to react to Buck's questions. He then clears his throat. "I...I don't want you to get uncomfortable." He stutters, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

A beat of silence wash over them.

After a moment, Buck closes their distance, pulling Eddie forward. Buck smells like cinnamon and powdered sugar.

"Maybe I want to be there." Buck honest to God smirks at him. "Maybe I want to stake my claim." He whispers behind the shell of Eddie's ear, making him shudders in delight and terror. "Maybe I want to show her that you're mine. That I'm yours." Buck continues boldly, slyly.

Eddie feels the heat burning him all over. He takes a shuddering breath, all while thinking about Chris in the living room to prevent him from grinding their hips together. Oh God. Is this how Buck will punish him from now on? To let him succumbs to blue balls?

"Pops, I found it!" Christopher pipes in from the living room, yelling in delight.

"I'll be there in a second, buddy." But Buck's seductive smile doesn't falter. In fact, he proceeds to wet his red lips sinfully before kissing Eddie deeply. It takes all of Eddie's willpower not to moan, but as fast as the kiss start, Buck breaks apart with teasing grin and a wink. Eddie's mouth went dry.

Dear, Lord.

Eddie then is left alone in the kitchen with a hard on. Why does Buck likes to torture him this way? If this is the path to his salvation, dear God please help him.

///

Just like the weather forecast had predicted, it's raining cats and dogs that night. Eddie leaves the couch and walk towards Chris' bedroom to check on his son in case he is woken up by the thunder and lightning dancing outside their windows. Seeing that Chris is still sleeping undisturbly, he decides to settle for the night, switching off the television and checking at all the locks again.

When he enters their bedroom, he can see Buck's messy curls poking out from under the duvet. Buck is sleeping in the center of their bed, leaving little to no space for Eddie to squeeze in.

Eddie stroke the soft curls lovingly. Usually that does the trick to wake Buck up. "Hey, darling. Move over a little will you." Eddie pulls down the duvet, but Buck doesn't budge.

"Evan, you need to move over a bit so I can slide in." Eddie slowly shakes his husband gently, trying to rouse the man. Still no response.

Worry immediately creeps into Eddie. He ungracefully kneels beside the bed, half of his body on the bed. "Please Evan, open your eyes. Hey, Evan. Wake up." Eddie craddles Buck's head in his hand, tapping his cheek firmly. Yet Buck's eyelids remain glued shut.

"Sweetheart, please wake up. Please." Eddie pleads brokenly, still shaking Buck's shoulder. When Buck's head lolled back, his features slack and unmoving, Eddie can feel his heart stutters.

No. Not again. Not yet. Not like this. God. Oh God.

"I'd do anything to relive our memories

And listen to your songs play in my head

'Cause I hate the silence, it's the only thing I get

I wish I could hear your voice once again

And your heartbeat, all of the small things, oh, oh

The sweetest goodbyes are never with smiles at all"

///

#cirrius akiyo's bunkdump #edmundo diaz #evan buckley #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #buddie #buddie fic #buck!whump #buddie fanfiction #911 fics #911 fic #911 fanfic #911 fox #rambler not writer

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thetravelerwrites · 5 years

Text

Fuzz (MLM Mothman) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Male Human/Male Mothman Additional Tags: Exophilia, Mothman, Male Reader, Male Monster, D&D, Dungeons & Dragons, Tabletop Gaming, Interspecies Romance, Social Anxiety, Gay Monster, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Anal Sex, Safe Sex, Condoms Words: 7185

A fun commission for @severedreamerbeard. A man meets a shy silkmoth mothman in a hobby store during a free comic day, and invites him to play D&D with his friends. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

Free Comic Friday always drew a huge crowd in your favorite local comic shop, but it was packed to the rafters today. The first issue of a graphic novel reboot had dropped and they were offering five hundred free copies, first come first served. You’d been dying to get your hands on it since the reboot had been announced, and you couldn’t believe it was finally out.

Happily swinging the bag around, you didn’t leave immediately once you got your copy like most of the crowd had done. This was one of your favorite places to hang out. It wasn’t like a lot of comic shops that seemed to only attract one demographic; there was always a nice mix of different people. Tabletop gamers, comic enthusiasts, collectors of various nerdy things, cosplayers who needed supplies to make their costumes: all sorts came through here and you loved it.

You got a text from your friend, Shannon, who knew you’d be there and snickered. She’d lost her D20, again, and wanted you to pick up another one in blue, preferably with sparklies so that it matched her current favorite set. Rolling your eyes and smirking, you headed for the dice aisle.

To your surprise, there was a very large, tall mothman standing there, though he was hunched over a little, rolling a die over and over. It was a new type of die that lit up when you rolled it, and the moth’s eyes brightened every time he saw the lights inside activate.

He was almost all white and extremely fluffy; the fluffiest part of him was the ruff around his neck. His large wings were folded against his back, complete with long tails on each like a lunar moth. He had four arms, the top pair larger than the lower pair, which were sort of wrapped around himself, and his hands had two long, large fingers and a thumb each, all a velvety brown in color. He wore no clothing, only a baseball cap with his brown, feather-like antennae sticking out of the holes at the top. The cap said “Will Work for Cuddles” on it.

Mothmen were rare, and you’d seen one or two before, but you’d never been close enough to one to actually talk to them.

“That’s a great set,” You said. “They just got them in last week.”

The mothman jumped, startled, but he grinned a little. “Heh…” He stammered nervously. “Yeah. I… I hate to perpetuate a stereotype, but I am attracted to things that light up.”

He spoke softly, like he was nervous people would hear him. It was cute, but you almost worried about him. The poor thing must have been terrified to come in here with so many people, but the pull of nerd junk can be strong sometimes.

“Do you play?” You asked him, gesturing at the die.

“Play?” The replied, confused.

“Yeah, D&D,” You said, and after a moment of him continuing to look confused, you elaborated. “Dungeons and Dragons. The tabletop game. What you use these dice for.”

“Oh!” He exclaimed, fidgeting. “No, I… I’ve never played. I’ve always wanted to, but… none of my friends are into nerdy stuff like I am. That and I’m kind of new in town, so I haven’t met many people yet. I was lucky to find this hobby shop. I was just walking past and saw it and figured I’d stop in. Is it always this busy?”

“On free comic day, absolutely,” I said with a smile. “So... not to be creepy since it’s literally the first time we’ve met, but my friends and I play every Sunday evening. We’re actually about to start a brand new campaign. You’re more than welcome to join. If you like, you can come ‘round Saturday at lunch and we can build you a character sheet, so that your prepared for the campaign.”

“Really?” He said, his voice timid but excited. “I’d love that! Thanks so much!”

“It’s no trouble,” You said, pulling out your phone. “Here, put your info in my phone and I’ll text you my address.”

He took your phone with a big grin on his face and put in his number. You took your phone back and looked.

“Fuzz?” You asked. “That’s a little on the nose, ain’t it?”

He laughed, a really pleasant sound. “It’s a nickname. Uh…listen… I… I’m actually on my lunch break, so I need to get back to work, but… I’m really looking forward to playing with you and your friends. I’ve always wanted to try.”

“We’d love to have you,” You told him, smiling. He bade you farewell and left, looking back before he headed out of the door and smiling widely at you one last time.

You looked down at the light-up dice, pursed your lips, and snatched up a whole set of them plus a carry bag. You were halfway to the check out when you realized you forgot Shannon’s D20 and doubled back for it.

The next day at lunchtime, Fuzz arrived at your home with pizza in his hand. You were going to throw together some grilled cheeses, but this was way better.

“Thanks, man,” You said, taking it and setting it on the counter in your apartment.

“No prob,” Fuzz replied. His neck ruff seemed to have been brushed shiny and the hat he wore today said “Nap Champion.” “I didn’t know what kind of toppings you’d like, so I just went for a good ol’ cheese.”

“I love cheese,” You told him. “I’ve got you a fresh character sheet printed out and the manual ready. You can look through it while I’m plating this up. What would you like to drink? I’ve got soda, beer, water, and apple juice.”

“Is it… weird if I ask for juice?” He said shyly, hunching his shoulders. “It’s better for my stomach than the other things.”

“Apple juice it is,” You said, pouring a glass. You took the plates and cups to the table, watching Fuzz go over the character sheet with a dumbfounded look on his face.

“I am very confused,” He murmured, almost to himself.

You laughed. “Well, that’s why you’re here. I’ll teach you.” I sat next to him and took a big bite of pizza. “Okay, so, first, you’re going to choose your race. It makes everything after that a little bit easier. I know this sheet tells you to choose a name first, but choosing a name is easier if you know what race you are, because certain races have naming conventions. Like, Tabaxis have tribal naming conventions, so you can’t choose a name like… Frank, for example.”

“Got it,” Fuzz said.

“Take a look at mine,” You said, pulling out your own character sheet full of annotations and stats. “My character is a calashite human cleric, which is like a priest, devoted to the god of knowledge, and my alignment is Lawful-Good. Now, most races will have default alignments, but you can decide what you want yours to be.”

“Okay,” Fuzz replied, trying to keep it all straight. “Hmm… are there any insect races I can play as?”

“Unfortunately, no,” You told him. “But, the cool thing about fantasy is that you can be whatever you want.”

“But I want to be a bug,” He said dryly.

You snorted. “Just look through and see if there’s something you like.”

“Oh!” He exclaimed, pointing at a drider. “That’s a bug!”

“That’s an arachnid,” I pointed out.

“Same difference,” He said.

“Don’t spiders eat moths?” You joked.

“I will take my pizza and go home, mister,” Fuzz said, poking fun right back. You were glad he was getting comfortable enough with you to joke around.

“Driders aren’t playable either,” You replied, laughing. “What about a shifter? That way you can take on aesthetic characteristics an insect, if you like. And the single-skins have white hair, like your fur.”

“Okay, okay,” Fuzz said. “What about a name?”

“Shifters usually have monosyllabic names, so anything you can think of with a single syllable.”

“Like Fuzz, you mean?”

“Are you really going to call your character by your real name?” You asked, smiling.

He smiled back, his lips the same velvety brown as his antennae and hands. “I told you, it’s a nickname. Trust me, it’s better than my real one. Only my parents and siblings know that.”

“Not even your girlfriend?” You asked him.

“Ah… no girlfriend,” He said, shrugging shyly and ducking his head, his antennae waving a little erratically. “I.. uh… don’t lean that way, if you know what I mean.”

You waved your hand. “I’m bi, so no judgment,” You told him, and he relaxed.

You both settled on alignment, level, and class, and then it was time to roll for his stats.

“Oh,” He said with a frown. “I… shit, I don’t have dice.”

“No worries,” You told him, taking out the bag you bought and rolling out the light-up set he’d been admiring.

“You bought those for me?” He asked, his shyness returning, reaching for the bag with a cautious grin.

“Yep,” You told him. “It’s no big deal. I knew you’d need a set and you seemed to like these, so I just--”

You were cut off when he grabbed you with his large upper arms and hugged you. God, his fur was soft. You’d never actually touched it before now, but with your face pressed against it, it was softer than angora and smelled like fresh herbs.

He released you suddenly, as if catching himself doing something he hadn’t meant to do. “Sorry, sorry… that was just… really nice of you.”

“Hey, it’s totally cool. I’m a hugger, too,” You told him, patting his upper shoulder. “Alright, let me show you how the dice work and then we’ll roll for your stats.”

You’d had a great time with him fleshing out his character, and once he got over his initial shyness, he was one of the funniest people you’d ever met. He had you in stitches until dinnertime, when he told you he had to go home and unpack. Apparently, when he said he’d just moved there, he meant just. You got another hug as he left, and it was just as soft and warm as the first one.

You felt a little disappointed after he was gone and couldn’t wait to see him the next evening.

For the next twenty four hours, you felt fidgety and restless, excited to see Fuzz again and start the new campaign. Rick had been working for weeks on the plot and obstacles, and he was always the best DM.

Fuzz met you at your house wearing a ball cap that read “Don’t Mess with Me*” and in fine print under the asterisk, continued with, “I’ll Cry A Lot and It Will Be Uncomfortable for Both of Us.” He gave you one of his warm, cuddly hugs and rode with you to Rick’s place. Rick, Shannon, Dag, and Jenna were standing out on the porch with sodas and beer, talking and laughing, and they saluted you with their various beverages as you drove onto the driveway.

“Hey, buddy!” Rick said as you got out of the car. “This your new friend?”

“Fuzz,” The shy mothman said, tentatively reaching out a hand.

“Ha! That’ll be easy to remember,” Rick said, shaking his hand. “I’m Rick. This is Dag.” Rick pointed at a large orc with a sort of a gold tan over his light green skin who gave Fuzz a half-salute. “Jenna.” She was a human with dark skin and tight curls who waved at Fuzz with a bright smile. “And Shannon.” Shannon was part fae, you knew, but you were never sure what her exact nature was. But, then again, all fae were like that. She had pearlescent skin and rosy hair cut short and buzzed on one side. Her bright green pupils were slitted and just a bit too large for her face. Fuzz ducked his head and and gave a little nod each time someone was introduced, trying to make eye contact.

“We’re just waiting for Russel. Can I get you something to drink?” Rick asked Fuzz.

“Do you, um… do you have water? Fizzy stuff makes me a bit sick,” Fuzz said.

“You got it, bud,” Rick said, reaching for a bottle out of the cooler.

Russel was Rick’s twin and lived next door, but he was always late. You didn’t understand why, but Rick shrugged and said he’d always been like that. It’s why Russel wasn’t allowed to DM.

Russel wandered over about five minutes later, and an a minute or two after that, the sushi that Rick ordered showed up. After paying, the seven of you went into the house to get started.

“Okay, so, everyone has their completed character sheets ready to go?” Rick asked, and you all held up your papers while stuffing your faces with california rolls. “Good. Dice? Minis?”

“We didn’t have time to make Fuzz’s mini,” You said.

“No big deal, I’ve got a ton of spares. I always keep a few blanks on hand because of this dingus over here.” He gestured at his brother. “He always forgets to make a miniature.” Rick handed Fuzz a box with blank miniatures in it, carefully separated by foam. Fuzz picked a slender humanoid and set it in front of him.

“Now,” Rick said. “If we are all ready to proceed?” He looked around the table and everyone nodded. Fuzz was shifting in his chair with both nervousness and excitement. “Very well. Our adventure starts in the midst of chaos! Inside a small inn of the road inside the land of Turmish, on the edge of the Sword Coast, a bar fight is raging. The bar is affectionately known by travelers as The Drunken Worm, and for good reason. Currently, though, windows are being smashed up, tables are being thrown, people are flying through the air, there is an absolute roar of voices drowning out any other sound. And in the midst is someone trying to calm the turmoil, only to have a chair smashed over her head. Shannon, that would be you, please describe your character.”

“Okay,” Shannon said, bouncing a little in her seat. “I am a very large, dark blue dragonborn named Anshez. I have a shortish snout with sharp teeth jutting out of my lips. I have two sets of horns on my head, which now have bits of wood dangling from them, and three lines of ridges down my back to the tip of my tail. My eyes are blue as well, and I’m wearing contrasting light blue robes with slits up to my knees for easier movement, and I have a large bastard sword strapped to my back.”

“Excellent,” Rick said, writing that down. “Now, for the unfortunate person who was wielding that chair.” Rick pointed at you. “What is your character?”

“I’m calashite human cleric,” You said. “My name is Khemed Pashar. I’m quite up there in age, as far as humans go; before I decided to travel, I spent forty years in a monastery in study and prayer. I have greying hair and a pale complexion, and I’m wearing white robes with a green panel down the front lined with silver embroidery. The panel has the insignia of the god of the pursuit of knowledge, Oghma, my patron. My only companion is a guide I hired a few days ago.”

“Why is a cleric hurling chairs?” Dag asked.

“I’m just going with the story, man,” You said.

“Anyway,” Rick said. “Anshez, who was once trying to calm the situation, is now slowly drawing her blade from the sheath on her back. Suddenly, someone appears and grabs her arm.”

“That would be me,” Jenna said. “I am a mustard yellow tiefling ranger named Varan, with horns and hooves that are shiny black. My eyes are also black and reflective. I’m wearing a knee-length dress of tightly woven chainmail and a leather vest over it. I have bracers on both my lower and upper arms. I grab my friend’s arm to stop her from hurting the frail looking human and try to calm her.”

“Roll a persuasion check,” Rick said.

“16, and I have a +2 advantage,” Jenna said.

“You are successful in talking down your partner, though she is still angry.”

“If I apologized, would she forgive me?” You asked.

“Roll for it,” Rick said. You rolled. Nat 1. The table burst into uproarious laughter.

“She would not,” Rick said with a chuckle. “In fact, she can barely hear your apology over the din, so she thinks you’re mocking her and she’s now holding a grudge against you.”

“Shit,” You said, grinning.

“Can I jump in?” Fuzz ventured cautiously.

“Definitely,” Rick said. “Your character?”

“I’m a wildhunt shifter druid,” Fuzz said. “I’m just under seven feet tall, and my current mask takes on the characteristics of a brown bear. I’m wearing a hat with a veil that covers most of my face and a pair of loose pants that doesn’t obstruct my movement. I’m in the employ of the cleric; he hired me to be his guide.”

“Good, good.” Rick makes notes. “Your name?”

“Fuzz,” He said.

“Your character name,” Rick said.

“That’s is my character name,” Fuzz said with a shy grin.

Rick snorted. “Okie-dokie. What are the two of you doing in all this?” He asks Dag and Russel.

“We’re bards,” Dag said. “I’m a halfling playing a fiddle.”

“A halfling? Really?” Tiny Shannon said, snickering.

“You’re a dragonborn, shut up,” Dag said, and Shannon giggled, playfully slapping his arm. “My name is Taurin Goodwort. My companion and I are on the small, dingy stage in the corner, trying to play over the noise. We’ve been paid, so by gods, we’re going to do our jobs. I’m wearing a coat that’s slightly too big but my clothes underneath are finely tailored and well fitted. I’m a dapper dude.”

“I’m also playing, but I’m a lute player,” Russel said. “I’m a grey tabby tabaxi not much taller than my halfling friend. My name is Game of Chance, but I go by Chance. My clothes are flashy and covered in shiny trinkets and bells that jingle to the beat when I stomp my paws.”

“Aww,” Jenna said, scratching behind Russel’s ear. He whacked her hand away, and she grinned.

Once the introductions were finished, the campaign was underway. Despite the chaos of the bar fight, the six of you hear the woeful tale of a patron of the bar, a missing son, an actual dragon, an actual dungeon, and all the traps that is implied. Fuzz opened up slowly as the campaign waged on, and his druid had the party in howling with laughter by the end of the night. When the seven of you wrapped up for the night, Fuzz had an open invitation to come back, with or without you.

Fuzz came to every Sunday session from then on, and though it took him some time to get over his anxiety around people, he swiftly became friends with everyone at the table. Despite how much he and the other were getting along, though, he always sat next to you. Perhaps even though he was getting over his shyness, he was still more comfortable next to you.

You weren’t complaining; you liked being close to him. In fact, the two of you had become really good friends, having lunch twice a week and texting constantly. You had your phone in your hand at all times, waiting for his response. You’d woken up with a dead phone on your chest on a number of occasions.

One weekday, after painting his miniature, he took you for dinner, although he didn’t know any good spots since he was still new in town and told you to pick. You decided on Japanese, though the restaurant was a bit full, and it made him nervous. You offered to go somewhere else, but he said it was fine and that he’d brave it, but only for you, making you blush a little. You grabbed his hand and led him through the throngs of people, and his grip tightened on yours.

It took a month for you to realize that… maybe you weren’t just feeling friendship for Fuzz. You liked him a lot. You thought about him all the time and looked forward to his hugs and touching his fur and listening to his laugh and the chittering noise he made when he was happy or excited.

Then, one late evening after the two of you had said goodnight, you had other thoughts. You wondered what his… intimate parts looked like. What they felt like. What they tasted like. And the idea excited you. Thinking about it, you felt yourself getting hard, and you stroked yourself to the thought of touching him, finding out where his private places were and playing with them, and teasing them. Kissing him and cuddling him and getting him to make those cute noises you loved to hear. You moaned at the thought, jerking faster as your imagination ran away with you. You came all over your hand and stomach, gasping and sweating, but it wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted him. Nothing else was good enough.

During the sixth session after Fuzz had joined the campaign, when he wore a cap that just said, “LAMPS!” in big, bold letters, your party had located the lost bar patron’s son, but he was a mind slave to an aboleth, one of many, enslaved to dig out an enclave for the creature to built it’s own small hold, so it could rule by itself. Aboleth’s are extraordinarily selfish creatures, and while they often group together, this one’s desires had driven him to make its own place to lord over. The trick was going to be defeating the aboleth without hurting any of the enslaved, as they were all sons and daughters of the local villages.

It was hard to concentrate on the game with Fuzz next to you. He always sat next to you during every game, but he seemed especially close this evening. You’d glance at him surreptitiously to find him looking at you. When you caught him, he’d smile and look away. He seemed to find reasons to touch you, whether it was to pass you something or to reach past you for something. His fur smelled as good as it always did.

You were filled with such doubts, though. Could you just be reading to much into it? You hadn’t really dated a lot, and you’d never dated a non-human. What if he was just overly friendly to compensate for his shyness? What if you told him how you felt and he didn’t feel the same? You enjoyed spending time with him, and he was so shy that you were scared of pushing him away with your feelings. You tried to push it out of your mind. You had an aboleth to defeat.

“For my turn, I’m going to make a mad dash an possibly take the hit so that I can cast Dispel Illusion to get rid of the aboleth’s secondary illusion,” Jenna said.

“Uh…” Rick checked his notes. “The aboleth is at level 13, and you are level 7, so you only have slightly more than half a chance of this working, so roll for it.”

“Um…” The clattering of Jenna’s die as it rolled across her board. “13, and I have +5 intelligence.”

“Okay, so your spell was successful, but it won’t stop him from creating another in a few minutes and that’s the end of your turn. You’re surrounded by enslaved and they are being driven to rip you apart.” He rolled his die. “They pretty much tear you to shreds. You take… 63 points of damage.”

“Gah!” Jenna said, flopping back into her chair and huffing. “Balls. I’m down.”

“I’m going to use the diversion to summon fiendish monstrous scorpions to draw the enslaved away,” Fuzz said.

“Nice,” You told him in an undertone. He grinned sideways at you.

“Chance and I take this opportunity to check the pond for other enslaved that we hadn’t seen.” Both Dag and Russel rolled. 18 and 12.

“You don’t see anything, only the aboleth growling menacingly at you, preparing to summon another illusion,” Rick said.

Shannon and Jenna then began pulling unconscious enslaved away from the pond.

“Alright, so my big finishing move,” You said, tugging at your sleeves confidently. “Now that I know the pond is free of collateral damage, I cast Lightning Bolt.”

“Roll for your attack.”

“Buh… Ooh! 27!”

“Lightning Bolt is affective!” Rick said. “But the aboleth is not completely destroyed.”

“So we all bum-rush him?” Fuzz asked.

“Hell yeah!” Shannon exclaimed. “Except for Jenna, cause she dead as fuck.”

Jenna stuck her tongue out. “Hey, I broke through enemy lines, gave you guys an advantage, and died like a goddamn hero, so you can suck on all my balls.”

“You ain’t got balls!” Shannon said.

“You don’t know my life!” Jenna shot back.

“I’m your wife, dumbass!” Shannon retorted.

“Would you guys shut your cakeholes and kill this thing, please? I would like to go to bed before 2 A.M. this time,” Rick said.

With the aboleth destroyed and the slaves freed, you collected a hefty bounty from the grateful townspeople and wrapped up the session with big hug all around.

As the night was winding down, with people finishing off snacks and getting their coats and belongings together, Shannon cornered you in the kitchen.

“So, what’s going on with you and Fuzz?” She asked in an almost-whisper.

You looked back over your shoulder anxiously, worried that Fuzz overheard, but he was talking to Dag and Rick.

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

“Oh, please, you are so obvious and oblivious at the same time. Everyone in the group know the two of you are practically in love with each other except for you and him.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” You told her dismissively. “Even if I did like him, I have no way of knowing if he feels the same way. And I’m not saying I do have feelings for him.”

“Oh my god, are you serious?” She said exasperatedly. “I’ve watched the two of you make goo-goo eyes and ‘accidentally’ on-purpose touch each other all night. He’s head over heels for you. And you are for him, I can tell. We can all tell. Hell, we have a pool going for when you guys are just going to give in and fuck.”

“Shannon!” You hissed. She had said that last sentence a little too loud for your liking.

“Look, you guys have lunch by yourselves all the time, so it’s clear you’re comfortable being alone. Just ask him to go out with you!”

You sighed, looking back over at Fuzz, wearing that sweet smile on his face and laughing at something Dag said.

“I’ll think about it,” You told her.

“I bet I win the pot,” She said, grinning cheekily, and you shooed her off with an impatient grimace.

On the way home, you scratched the back of your neck and asked, “So, I know you’re new to the area, so I’m sure you don’t know much about the local events, right?”

“Nothing at all,” He replied. “Why?”

Your heart was hammering in your chest. You wondered if he could hear it. “Well, next week’s session is postponed because of our town’s fireworks festival. Do you like fireworks?”

He chirruped excitedly, which was probably the most adorable sound you’d ever heard in your life. “I love fireworks!”

“Awesome! That’s awesome…” You gulped a little. “That’s really good, because I was… wondering… if maybe… you’d like to go with me?”

“Yeah!” He said. “Is the group going?”

“Oh, yeah,” You said, clearing your throat. “They’ll be there, but I, uh… I was thinking maybe it could, you know, just… be the two of us?”

“Sure, that’ll be fun, but why aren’t we going with the group?”

“Because…” You said, struggling to get the words out. “This is special. I want to spend time with you. Just with you, you know what I mean?”

You pulled into your driveway and parked before turning to look at Fuzz. He was gaping at you.

“You mean, like a date?” He asked.

“Yeah,” You said. “If that’s okay?”

“That’s totally okay,” He said, a slow grin spreading across his face. “I’d love to go with you.”

You laughed in relief. “Awesome. I can’t wait.”

You both got out of the car and he gave you a hug before leaving, lingering a little longer this time. You ran your fingers through the fur of his back, up and down, and he sighed before pulling away.

“See you?” He asked.

“See you,” You replied.

The next weekend, you picked him up at his apartment. He had a basket in one hand and a quilt over his shoulder. His hat said “I Like Shiny Objects” on it. Apt for the situation, you thought.

He raised a free hand in greeting. “Hey!”

“Hey,” You said in return as he got in. “Ready?”

“Very much so,” He replied, and you smiled at him. “I’m glad you asked me out. I wanted to ask you, but I was too anxious.”

You felt a blush creep up your neck. You were glad it was already dark.

“When do the fireworks start?” He asked.

“Seven-thirty,” You replied. “I want to get there early to find a good spot.”

Fifteen minutes later, you arrived at the fairgrounds to realize that you weren’t the only person to have this idea. The place was already packed. You frowned.

“Well, so much for that idea,” You said.

“What’s behind that fence over there?” Fuzz asked, pointing past the field.

“Oh, nothing but forest,” You told him. “There’s supposed to be wildcats out there, so it’s to keep kids out.”

“We aren’t kids,” Fuzz said.

“Yeah, but I don’t know where the the gate is, and that’s too high for me to climb,” You told him.

“Oh, no,” Fuzz replied a little sarcastically, fluttering his wings a bit. “What a dilemma. Whatever shall we do?”

You smirked, feeling your heart flutter as well. “You want to fly over?”

“Got a better idea?”

You put your hands on your hips and ducked your head, unsure. You felt one of his hands on your cheek and you looked up at him.

“Trust me,” He said softly.

His large thumb was achingly close to your lips, but you resisted and urge to kiss it. “I do.”

He grabbed you around the middle with your arms around his neck and flew you up and over the fence from a secluded corner of the field. He managed to find a hill with a very small clearing, perfect for a quilt, sitting right next to a big oak tree.

“This is amazing,” You told him, looking down the hill with a clear view off the field and the sky. “You can see everything from this vantage.”

“You like this?” He asked, setting down everything he brought.

“Yeah,” You answered. “It’s incredible.”

“Good,” He said in a soft voice, coming up behind you and wrapping both arms around you. “We can be alone here for as long as we like.”

His voice was low, almost seductive, and you’d never heard him use it before. It sent tingles down your spine and in… other places.

The two of you lay out the quilt and the spread he’d prepared. It was the quintessential date picnic: fruit, cheese, wine, crackers, all kinds of fancy things that you’d never actually had before, like fig jam and stuff. It was all really cool, but it felt strangely “by the book.”

“Fuzz, can I ask you something?”

He looked at you with a surprised expression. “Sure, anything.”

“You’ve never been on a date before, have you?” You asked him.

His face fell a little. “That obvious, huh?”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that,” You assured him. “And this is amazing, and I’m having a great time. I just don’t want you to think that you have to do all of this,” You waved your hand at the picnic. “To win me over. You’ve already done that. I wouldn’t have asked you out if I didn’t like being with you.”

He smiled. “I do have a tendency to second-guess myself. It’s just… being gay is difficult for humans, but it can be more so for non-humans. I don’t know why, but there’s this expectation that if your not human and sentient, you have to like girls. Human beings would be shocked how many non-humans aren’t straight.”

“I wouldn’t,” You said. “Shannon’s a lesbian, and I’ve known her forever. I know full well that non-humans don’t live by the same standards that humans do, and humans can be blind to that, even among their own people. I guess that explains why you’re so shy.”

He laughed. “Nah, I’ve always been like that. I’ve never really--”

At that moment, the first shell when off, catching Fuzz’s attention. He got up from the quilt and walked to where the hill just began to slope downward and watched the fireworks with a look of pure joy. Wanting to be close to him, you stepped in front of him and pressed your back against his front. He circled his arms around you again. And for a moment, the two of you just watched the lights.

You turned your head and looked up at his face, seeing the bursts of colored embers reflected in his large, black eyes, and you were mesmerized. He noticed you watching him and looked down at you, smiling his soft, sweet smile.

And he kissed you.

His lips were as velvety as they looked, and you spun in his arms to reach yours around him, pressing your body as close as you could. The pop and crackle and flashes of light against your closed eyes made this seem like a dream, but you were bathing in the sensation of having his body wrapped around you. God, you had wanted this.

When you broke apart, you were both breathing heavily.

“So…” You began stroking the fur on the back of his neck. “I had a question…”

“About?” Fuzz asked.

“Well… you don’t wear clothes… but I’ve never seen your… well… your dick…”

Fuzz’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. He seemed momentarily at a lost for words.

“O--oh,” He breathed finally. “It’s… that’s because… it’s tucked away. Inside me. I comes out when I…”

“When you’re aroused?” You guessed. He nodded, not meeting your eye. “Is there some way I can… make that happen?”

He looked back up at you with wide, huge, terrified eyes, “Yes,” He whispered. He took your hand and led you back to the quilt. Cautiously, he reached out a hand and tugged at your shirt, but stopped short before actually removing it. You helped him get the shirt off you and he continued to undress you until you were naked in front of him. He ran the fingers of his upper right hand down your torso, starting at your collarbone and stopping at the tuft of hair that sat just about your ridged length.

“This is definitely helping,” He said breathlessly.

“What can I do?” You asked eagerly. “I’ve wanted to do this for a while now.”

“You have?” He asked hopefully. You nodded and he laughed in relief. “Me too.”

He sat back against the oak tree and opened his legs in front of you, reaching down with his lower pair of hands to part the fur at the apex of his legs. There, you saw a slit, mostly brown like his hands and lips, but fading to pink as it went inward.

“Just touch,” He said. “It’ll open.”

You knelt down in front of him and pressed a finger to the slit, slowly rubbing it up and down. A low trill issued from Fuzz as he let his head fall back against the tree and his breathing hitched. The hands of his upper arms took your face in his hands and pulled you forward for a deep kiss as you massaged the opening, feeling it begin to pucker and pulsate at your touch. It widened slowly, and you daringly inserted your pinky inside, feeling the tip of a slick organ begin to push itself out.

Fuzz gasped at this new sensation and moaned a little. Slowly, it came out and you were able to see it at last. It was pink like the inside of the opening and darkened to the familiar velvet brown at the tip. You put your hand around it and pumped it a few times before bending down and pulling the tip into your mouth. It was sweet, like honeysuckle. His hips convulsed and he started to whisper, “please, please.”

You felt around for your wallet and pulled out a condom and two single-use packets of lube. You tore open the condom with your teeth and started to work it down his shaft.

“I’ve never…” He said, gulping. “I’ve never done this…”

“Do you want to stop?” You asked him, your hand stilling on his hardened girth.

“No!” He said. “No, no, I want this. I just… I’m sure I won’t be any good at it.”

“That’s okay, Fuzz,” You said, kissing him as another shell popped in the distance, lighting up the sky and trees around you. “I’ll teach you. Trust me.”

“I do,” He whispered.

You took a packet of lube and tore it open, squeezing some of it onto his fingers.

“First is to open me up a bit, so to speak,” You told him, turning and kneeling over. “Massage it into the skin for a few minutes, and them push a finger in.”

You felt him follow your instructions and groan into the ground as he pressed and rolled and circled the sensitive skin, finally pushing one of his thick, long fingers inside you. You gasped at feeling and encouraged him to move it in and out, eventually adding the second finger.

Once you felt like you were ready, you told him to sit back against the tree, and he complied. You took the second packet of lube and squirted it into your hand, lubing him up before pulling yourself to face level and kissing him as you positioned yourself over him. Slowly, you slid down onto him, feeling him slide against the bundle of nerves deep inside you. Both of you gasped at the same time and clung to each other as the fireworks continued to light up your naked bodies in the darkness.

You started to ride him, listening to his trilling and chirping, and all four of his hands found interesting things to do. The pair on the bottom held your hips as you rocked back and forth, up and down, in his lap. His upper right hand caressed your face while the left reached between you and began to stroke you slowly, sweetly, in a way you had been dying to be touched.

You sped up, and his trilling got higher in pitch. You reached up and gently pulled his hat off, careful of his antennae.

“We should both be naked,” You gasped, laughing. He laughed too before moaning your name, kissing you and tightening his grip on your cock slightly. You held him close to you, whispering into his ear that you were going to cum. He said he was close, too.

You came before him, spraying yourself all over his stomach. He grasped your hips harder and thrust faster for a few moments, then he released a high pitched chirrup that repeated over and over, and you could feel him releasing into the condom inside you.

You could barely hear the sounds of the fireworks over the rushing in your ears. He held you tightly with both of his arms, gulping down air. Finally, you got up and pulled off the used condom. You had a small bag and a couple of single-use wipes in your wallet for such… situations. You cleaned him up and wiped yourself off, too. Then, the two of you lay there, nude, on the quilt and watched the grand finale.

Best first date ever.

The next day, you woke up in his apartment pressed into the fluff of his chest. You stretched and groaned sleepily, looking at the collection of ball caps displayed proudly on every inch of his bedroom walls. He roused himself as well.

“Good morning,” He said with a happy smile.

“Good morning yourself,” You replied, giving him a quick kiss.

“Do you work today?” You asked.

“No,” He said, stretching like a cat. “I took today off. I was hoping we’d end up like this, so I… planned for it.”

“Aww,” You said, scratching his unusually bare head. “Wanna spend the day together?”

“Sounds like a great idea,” He said, grinning. “Breakfast?”

“Breakfast sounds good,” You told him. “Is it alright if I run back to my place to grab some fresh clothes?”

Breakfast will be ready when you get back,” He said, bouncing out of bed.

You laughed at him, but really, you felt just as happy. You dressed quickly and headed out, popping up on tiptoe and kissing the back of his neck as you passed him in the kitchen.

Just as you got into your car, you got a text from Shannon: >Did you guys do it?

You rolled your eyes. >None of your business.

As you started your car, you got a reply. >Ha! I won the bet!

At your place, you grabbed a change of clothes and a couple more condoms and packets of lube, and started back for Fuzz’s apartment. While driving, something in the window of a store caught your eye and you decided to stop in. It was a little early for gifts, but… what the hell? This was the perfect thing and you knew he’d love it. How could you not buy it?

Back at his place, he was putting plates on the table.

“Hey, you okay? I was getting worried you weren’t coming back,” He said.

“Nothing of the sort,” You replied, handing him a bag. “I just saw this and thought of you.”

“You got me a present?” He said, both confused and delighted. “Why?”

“Cause I like you. I don’t need another reason,” You told him.

He laughed loudly and opened the bag. From inside, he pulled out a baseball cap that read, “My Boyfriend Thinks I’m Funny.” He smiled softly at it before putting it on his head.

“How does it look?” He asked.

You smiled widely. “It suits you.”

He grabbed your butt, pressed you to his side, and kissed you, wrapping you in his arms like the cuddlebug he was. Then fed you the best breakfast you’d had in a decade.

You guessed you owed Shannon a new set of dice. A nice set.

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