Sex Without Love
by Sharon Olds
How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other’s bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health — just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time.
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Sex without Love
How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other's bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health---just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time.
Sharon Olds
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It has come to my attention that SOME OF YOU who read my last Byler post remain UNCONVINCED. So I'm gonna tack onto it this:
I'm older than fucking God and air, and I've been out and proud since 2007. Yes, I know what homophobia is, and yes, I know what queerbaiting is. I know about Supernatural and Teen Wolf and Sherlock and blahdyblahdyblah. No new ground is being covered here. I thought I made that clear in the original post, but, clearly, I did not.
I am aware of queerbaiting and homophobia, and I'm still wholeheartedly certain in Byler being canon anyway.
Okay, so there are three types of relationship I want to discuss when it comes to queerbaiting. They're all, like, "queer relationships that could have happened, but didn't".
First off, queer-coding. This isn't really a thing so much anymore, but it still crops up every once in a while. I'd argue it probably happens most with male-male relationships in family shows these days. First example that comes to mind is Mr. Smiley and Mr. Frowny from Steven Universe. You can't make a relationship canon because some shitty overhead bastard overhead said no, so you get as close as you can without compromising the show. Can't make someone gay? Well, now their comedy routine is a blatant allegory for a romantic relationship. Boom-shaka-laka. This is something I don't see being a problem with regards to Stranger Things, but I want it to be there as contrast, a demonstration of one of many things queerbaiting is not. However, one could argue that, thus far, Will Byers is, canonically, queer-coded. It's pretty fucking heavily implied in the show, and the creators have confirmed it, and you're gonna be able to see it if you're not FUCKING BLIND, but word of god is not technically canon which means that interviews don't technically make something canon, blahdyblahdyblahdyblah, technicalities, Robin has been explicitly stated in the text to be queer while Will has, thus far, not, outside of good ol' Show-Don't-Tell. Of course, anyone with two brain cells to rub together can tell that that's going to change by the end of Season 5, but, hey, for what it's worth, I'm throwing this out there.
Alrighty, Thingamajingama Number Two: "Oops, I accidentally made the greatest love story known to man." AKA, a genuine, honest-to-goodness mistake. Unfortunately, we do live in a heteronormative society. Sometimes people who don't think about being gay much write a friendship that's incredibly compelling and don't even consider the possibility that it could have been read as romantic. Something something Top Gun something. This is, again, not queerbaiting. This is Steddie, this is Ronance, this is Elmax, this is your favorite flavor of non-canon ship this week, this is not Byler. The creators know DAMN well what they're doing. They've talked about it. We know this. Nothing new here.
Which brings us to the topic of discussion here. Actual queerbaiting. This usually starts out as an "accidental greatest love story", and then reacts to fan response. And when I say "reacts", I mean like a goddamn chemical reaction. Like bleach and ammonia, bitch. It's noxious and it's gonna kick your fucking ass without mercy. This is when a creator is like, "Hey, let's get our queer audience invested, but we're not actually going to give them what they want because our straight audience isn't here for that/we personally think it's gross/we don't give enough of a shit to want to research a goddamn thing to write a real gay character," blah blah blah whatever excuse they want to come up with this time.
And when you think "queerbaiting", I want you to think "bullying". Because that's what it is. It's lucrative bullying, like beating us up and taking our lunch money, but it's bullying all the same. And it's a real goddamn thing, even if people misuse the word a lot, often when they mean one of the two above, sometimes when they mean "bury your gays", which is another homophobic thing entirely that I'm not going to get into here. Queerbaiting is the thing we're focused on, and it's real, and it's bullying. And here's the reason I want you to think of it as bullying:
They
Think
It's
Funny.
They are actively making fun of us.
That's why Dean had the "Cas, get out of my ass," line in Supernatural. It's why the "Do you like boys?" line happened in Teen Wolf. It's why "Lie with me, Watson," happened in the RDJ Sherlock Holmes movies. Because "It's just a joke, mate." "It was just a prank, bro." "You didn't really think it would happen, did you?" "You should see your face."
So here's probably the biggest reason I don't think it's specifically queerbaiting in this specific instance of Will Byers and Mike Wheeler.
Stranger Things has never, not once, made a gay joke. Ever.
Every single time queerness comes up, it's dead serious.
Lonnie calls Will a fag, and the show is not at all reluctant to show what a goddamn horrible person he is. And when Hopper latches onto that, it's not as "Hahah, is he gay, though?" It's because he's trying to determine a potential motive for Will's disappearance, and even if someone had interpreted it as a joke, Joyce immediately has a line that functions as snapping her fingers in front of the audience's face and yelling "FOCUS" when she says "He's MISSING." Basically outright saying "This isn't funny!"
Troy calls him a fairy, along with targeting Lucas and Dustin for their skin color and disability respectively, and Mike gets damn near murderous. Troy is portrayed as a goddamn monster and the show portrays it as justice when El makes him piss his pants and later breaks his arm.
Steve calls Jonathan "queer" as a slur and gets the shit beat out of him for it.
Billy's father is revealed to be homophobic and abusive in the same breath.
Mike says "It's not my fault you don't like girls!" and we're shown how devastated Will is and Mike immediately follows him to beg for forgiveness.
There is a joke in Robin's coming-out scene, but it's not at Robin's expense. It's at Steve's. Specifically for being heteronormative.
Jonathan has multiple scenes where he's trying so hard to tell Will that he's always going to love him as he is, whether he's gay or not, without pressuring him to come out before he's ready.
Even when there's a little bit of ribbing at Robin's expense, it's always because she's an awkward nerd who's nervous around pretty girls, just the same as Lucas and Dustin are teased when they both first develop crushes on Max, and even then, even then, it always comes as a package deal where they make fun of Steve's girl problems at the same time.
Stranger Things is an emphatically pro-gay show. It may not be the core point of the show the way it is in, say, Our Flag Means Death, but there is nothing less than respect for its queer characters. Its queer characters are always taken completely seriously. No one is making fun of us. They never have. That's why I have serious doubts that this is queerbaiting. It would come completely out of left field for the bullying to start in Stranger Things' final season.
So it's not at all likely to be queerbaiting because queerness is taken completely seriously. The creators have talked about Will's queerness, at least, so it's not an accident. And queer-coding would be silly to expect from this show when it's already on its final season. Like, what is Netflix gonna do? Cancel it? Not to mention all the explicit queerness that's in there already. And no one's gonna "What about the children?" a show that's had sex scenes in it since the first season.
There's no fakeout here. It's gonna happen. Breathe.
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oh yeah also!!! snippet of the timkon vday fic i will hopefully finish like over the weekend or something!!! (this snippet is sfw but the fic itself will not be...)
Tim’s fingers linger, brushing the back of his neck as he fastens the choker. “There,” he murmurs, and seals the clasp with a kiss to Kon’s nape.
The moment the projector comes into contact with his skin, Kon goes still.
It’s—
It’s weird.
It’s not a wholly pleasant feeling, if he’s entirely honest. The world shrinks down dizzyingly fast, from the wide, expansive spread of everything down to just this room. He can’t hear the cars outside or the dancers in the club he and Tim were at earlier, or Ma snoring back in Kansas, or the sea lapping at the shore halfway around the world.
The strength drains out of his body. It leaves him feeling… heavy. He’s grounded where he sits, and he can feel that he can’t simply fly away now. Of course, he still has his TTK, his aura sprawling through the apartment, but it’s not the same.
Kon lets out a slow breath. Okay. Okay. He’s been depowered a few times before. It’s just… been a while, that’s all.
“You okay?” Tim’s arms slip around his waist, his hands sliding up Kon’s ribs to his chest. He presses Kon backwards, encouraging him to lean into him.
Kon takes that suggestion, slumping back into Tim’s embrace. Tim’s arms are steadfast around him as he drops his head back against Tim’s shoulder. He can feel Tim’s heart beating against his back.
“Yeah.” Kon swallows hard. He can feel the cool metal of the projector against his throat, rapidly warming from his body. It feels…
He feels… vulnerable.
“You sure?” Tim brushes a gentle kiss to his jaw, lingering. “We don’t have to do this if it’s too much, or feels bad, or anything. I want you to enjoy yourself, so if you’re not—”
“I’m sure, Rob,” Kon interrupts.
He takes another breath and lets it out slowly. It’s kinda weird to have to breathe so often. He usually does, don’t get him wrong—he had to breathe at regular human rates before all his powers came in, so the muscle memory is there—but actually feeling the burn in his chest if he doesn’t breathe in fast enough is weird.
“I’m sure.” He shifts in Tim’s arms, rolling over a little so he can look up at Tim properly. “Just, like, gimme a minute to get used to it.”
Tim studies his face for a moment. Whatever he finds there satisfies him, because he just nods, then kisses Kon’s nose, brow, and forehead. “Take all the time you need.”
“Mm.”
Kon lays his cheek against Tim’s shoulder and tucks his face into his neck. He likes feeling the warmth of Tim’s skin against his own, the quiet ba-dum, ba-dum of his heart beating in his chest. Tim used some of his rarely-touched fancy cologne for tonight’s date; Kon can still smell it on his collar.
Tim’s arms curve about his shoulders, one of his callused hands stroking slowly up and down Kon’s upper arm. He caresses the curve of Kon’s bicep and strokes his thumb against the inside of Kon’s elbow before he rubs his palm back up his arm to the shoulder, slow and hypnotic, over and over.
Kon shivers.
He feels vulnerable and soft, cut off from hearing everything he’s used to. He’s not used to it. But it’s not a bad feeling, not when he’s lying on Tim’s chest, completely secure in Tim’s arms. It’s… different, yes, but not bad.
In fact, it’s a little exciting. He already knows Tim would never ever dream of hurting him—duh, Tim would cry and have, like, seven existential crises on the spot if he had to—and being vulnerable with Tim around means he’s, like…
Protected.
Kon takes another breath. Lets it out slowly. He’s not used to feeling protected. To looking to someone else for safety. It’s kind of… awe-inspiring? Incredible? Breathtaking?
Tim’s thumb swipes gently over his shoulder again. He’s languid and relaxed, his voice low and warm in a way that ignites sparks in Kon’s blood. “What’s on your mind, baby?”
Kon breathes in again. Tim’s cologne smells of citrus and spice.
He tips his head up, glances up at Tim through his eyelashes. Tim looks down at him, his expression tender but intense.
“Rob,” Kon says, keeping his gaze fixed on Tim’s face. He smiles, a little shy, but excited. This is such a new feeling. “You’re gonna… you’ll take real good care of me, right?���
Color blossoms across Tim’s cheeks. His lips part slightly, his eyes wide; his flush runs all the way down his neck. Even his ears turn red. “I—”
Kon giggles, looping his arms around Tim’s neck. It’s nice to know he’s not the only one a little bit out of his depth here, reveling in the novelty of… of all of this. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Tim manages after a second, a little breathless. “Yeah, of course.”
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