#sex without love
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Sex Without Love
by Sharon Olds
How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other’s bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health — just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time.
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Sex without Love
How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other's bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health---just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time.
Sharon Olds
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to you it’s perverted gross sex. to me it’s being creative, working through traumas and baggage, healing my inner child, playing, practicing intense vulnerability, finding even more ways to fall in love with my partner, finding more ways to fall in love with myself, learning confidence & how to ask for what i want, care work, emotional release, relaxing, community building, theater, dance, writing, problem solving, therapy, radical honestly, and so much more. and also it’s gross perverted sex.
#sex is just so. everything to me#i feel like i’ve grown so much w it and wouldn’t be who i am without the kind of sex i have with other perverted gross sex weirdos <3#and it’s like never just sex with me.#i mean sometimes it is but. i love a theme and motif#mine
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Turtle Takedown Teamwork.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#tulu xuanwu#Something about changing the action sequence to something gentle is hilarious to me.#The lesson here is “Be nice to turtles. They are gentle creatures. And many are very endangered.”#don't get me wrong here; I love this scene a lot. LWJ's string technique is one of my favoyrite things.#We do get a fair amount of LWJ fighting but I always loved how the theme of strings comes into play.#There is actually a lot to unpack with LWJ being associate with 'strings'.#The musicianship: Of dedication and rigor in one's practice.#The tension between following along a path or composing your own way forwards (playing what has been written vs composing)#A string is a tightly coiled/taunt entity; The same tension that makes it sing so beautifully can be it's downfall if pushed too hard.#And as a non-musical string - something that binds. Be it to his sect and family or how he binds his fate to WWX -#LWJ cannot exist without his binds. It is not something which ties him down though. It keeps him together.#And he himself *is* a bind. He 'ties wwx down' in ways that are initially negatively viewed ('come to gusu' - feels like: come be trapped)#But later it is shown how (despite being introduced as a free spirit) WWX truly wants to be bound to something and someone.#Marriage is a bind he wants. He wants to be tied and grounded by LWJ.#It's starting to sound like innuendo. Let's call his fondness for being literally tied up smart thematic writing.#Finally. Sex scenes that are important to the plot and characters
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valentine, you're a horse ❤️
#my little pony#mlp g3#wish-I-may#wish-I-might#ok so. I'm gonna ramble for a sec#normally when I post on valentine's day I complain in the tags about being single. but I won't this year!#I've recently realized I'm definitely somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. and that I'm perfectly content without a partner#in the past I've described myself as 'emotionally unavailable' or having 'commitment issues' but neither of those things were ever true#I'm a very loving and loyal person!#I've always been extremely affectionate with friends and family but unable to have the same level of love for potential partners#unsure if I'm just demisexual/demiromantic or actually aroace but I'm definitely not the default settings type of gay lol#I'm a big fan of romance and sex in fiction! but irl? 😅😬 idk about that fam! idk!#hypothetically I would like to have a gf one day and maybe fall in love but now I understand why that may not happen#or atleast is gonna take a while. and that's fine :)#tldr; if your top song on spotify last year was Cupid by Fifty Fifty it's time to do some soul searching lol#happy valentine's day!! 💕
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Spike absolutely haunts Riley I fucking know it
#dylan says things#btvs#like. you are flirting with this girl you like. out of nowhere she says she is getting married to this guy spike#then she says it’s a joke. turns out spike is a vampire who escaped your government facility#your now girlfriend is harbouring him for unclear reasons#you are insecure about not having super strength. your girlfriend tells you that if she wanted that she’d be dating spike#you start going to a vampire brothel. spike reveals this to your girlfriend and you guys break up#you know at this point that spike is in love with her#a year later you come back and she is fucking spike.#also this whole time he is hotter and better at sex than you are#riley canot think about spike for more than 2 minutes without punching a wall i just know it
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Sex Without Love, Sharon Olds
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zolu is maybe one of the easiest ships i've ever liked. they're dating, except when they're not, they're best friends even when they're kissing and they're still captain and first mate when they aren't. they hold hands, they hug. they have sex. they don't.
Luffy can hold Zoro's katanas and Zoro can hold Luffy's strawhat and no one bats an eye. one says "You're so cool!" and the other says "You're strong" and it's just another way to say "I see you, this is why I follow you/this is why I trust you". it's not seeing each other for a long time and still knowing how the other's steps sound like against wood and sand. the captain runs and the first mate follows. it's always "Zoro and the others" and "Where's Luffy?"
if they're just friends, if they're something more, if they don't have a label for it, at its core, it's just about how they get each other. they understand how the other's mind works. however you view them, it doesn't erase they fact that they love each other in a way they don't love other people.
#zolu#on why i love zolu#seeing the hate its gotten on its own tag#i figured i'd put it on my two cents#i am aroace and i do hc Luffy as aroace#the same for Zoro if i'm honest#but the thing about this hc is that not only it isn't canon#but is an actual spectrum#what really made me pause was that the argument was that zolu was an “icky” ship bc of how they viewed Luffy as aroace#i would have prefered they just said they hate the ship#it makes sense as i do too hate ships without reason sometimes#but it was how they seemed to view aromatic/asexual people that fucked me up#both orientations are spectrums#the way i see it and experience it isn't the same other people do#giving this label and then saying it only woks on one way is disrespectful to the many people that fall under this umbrella#it isn't as simple as saying “aromantic folks can't experience love” and “yeah ace folks all find sex disgusting”#everyone is different everyone has different views and it's about finding what fits *you* personally!#sorry for the rant on tags i just wanted to get it off my chest#i've seen more people explain it better and break it down more coherently#and i'm so so glad to see so many big brained people ready to communicate on why that take just wasn't it#one piece
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It has come to my attention that SOME OF YOU who read my last Byler post remain UNCONVINCED. So I'm gonna tack onto it this:
I'm older than fucking God and air, and I've been out and proud since 2007. Yes, I know what homophobia is, and yes, I know what queerbaiting is. I know about Supernatural and Teen Wolf and Sherlock and blahdyblahdyblah. No new ground is being covered here. I thought I made that clear in the original post, but, clearly, I did not.
I am aware of queerbaiting and homophobia, and I'm still wholeheartedly certain in Byler being canon anyway.
Okay, so there are three types of relationship I want to discuss when it comes to queerbaiting. They're all, like, "queer relationships that could have happened, but didn't".
First off, queer-coding. This isn't really a thing so much anymore, but it still crops up every once in a while. I'd argue it probably happens most with male-male relationships in family shows these days. First example that comes to mind is Mr. Smiley and Mr. Frowny from Steven Universe. You can't make a relationship canon because some shitty overhead bastard overhead said no, so you get as close as you can without compromising the show. Can't make someone gay? Well, now their comedy routine is a blatant allegory for a romantic relationship. Boom-shaka-laka. This is something I don't see being a problem with regards to Stranger Things, but I want it to be there as contrast, a demonstration of one of many things queerbaiting is not. However, one could argue that, thus far, Will Byers is, canonically, queer-coded. It's pretty fucking heavily implied in the show, and the creators have confirmed it, and you're gonna be able to see it if you're not FUCKING BLIND, but word of god is not technically canon which means that interviews don't technically make something canon, blahdyblahdyblahdyblah, technicalities, Robin has been explicitly stated in the text to be queer while Will has, thus far, not, outside of good ol' Show-Don't-Tell. Of course, anyone with two brain cells to rub together can tell that that's going to change by the end of Season 5, but, hey, for what it's worth, I'm throwing this out there.
Alrighty, Thingamajingama Number Two: "Oops, I accidentally made the greatest love story known to man." AKA, a genuine, honest-to-goodness mistake. Unfortunately, we do live in a heteronormative society. Sometimes people who don't think about being gay much write a friendship that's incredibly compelling and don't even consider the possibility that it could have been read as romantic. Something something Top Gun something. This is, again, not queerbaiting. This is Steddie, this is Ronance, this is Elmax, this is your favorite flavor of non-canon ship this week, this is not Byler. The creators know DAMN well what they're doing. They've talked about it. We know this. Nothing new here.
Which brings us to the topic of discussion here. Actual queerbaiting. This usually starts out as an "accidental greatest love story", and then reacts to fan response. And when I say "reacts", I mean like a goddamn chemical reaction. Like bleach and ammonia, bitch. It's noxious and it's gonna kick your fucking ass without mercy. This is when a creator is like, "Hey, let's get our queer audience invested, but we're not actually going to give them what they want because our straight audience isn't here for that/we personally think it's gross/we don't give enough of a shit to want to research a goddamn thing to write a real gay character," blah blah blah whatever excuse they want to come up with this time.
And when you think "queerbaiting", I want you to think "bullying". Because that's what it is. It's lucrative bullying, like beating us up and taking our lunch money, but it's bullying all the same. And it's a real goddamn thing, even if people misuse the word a lot, often when they mean one of the two above, sometimes when they mean "bury your gays", which is another homophobic thing entirely that I'm not going to get into here. Queerbaiting is the thing we're focused on, and it's real, and it's bullying. And here's the reason I want you to think of it as bullying:
They
Think
It's
Funny.
They are actively making fun of us.
That's why Dean had the "Cas, get out of my ass," line in Supernatural. It's why the "Do you like boys?" line happened in Teen Wolf. It's why "Lie with me, Watson," happened in the RDJ Sherlock Holmes movies. Because "It's just a joke, mate." "It was just a prank, bro." "You didn't really think it would happen, did you?" "You should see your face."
So here's probably the biggest reason I don't think it's specifically queerbaiting in this specific instance of Will Byers and Mike Wheeler.
Stranger Things has never, not once, made a gay joke. Ever.
Every single time queerness comes up, it's dead serious.
Lonnie calls Will a fag, and the show is not at all reluctant to show what a goddamn horrible person he is. And when Hopper latches onto that, it's not as "Hahah, is he gay, though?" It's because he's trying to determine a potential motive for Will's disappearance, and even if someone had interpreted it as a joke, Joyce immediately has a line that functions as snapping her fingers in front of the audience's face and yelling "FOCUS" when she says "He's MISSING." Basically outright saying "This isn't funny!"
Troy calls him a fairy, along with targeting Lucas and Dustin for their skin color and disability respectively, and Mike gets damn near murderous. Troy is portrayed as a goddamn monster and the show portrays it as justice when El makes him piss his pants and later breaks his arm.
Steve calls Jonathan "queer" as a slur and gets the shit beat out of him for it.
Billy's father is revealed to be homophobic and abusive in the same breath.
Mike says "It's not my fault you don't like girls!" and we're shown how devastated Will is and Mike immediately follows him to beg for forgiveness.
There is a joke in Robin's coming-out scene, but it's not at Robin's expense. It's at Steve's. Specifically for being heteronormative.
Jonathan has multiple scenes where he's trying so hard to tell Will that he's always going to love him as he is, whether he's gay or not, without pressuring him to come out before he's ready.
Even when there's a little bit of ribbing at Robin's expense, it's always because she's an awkward nerd who's nervous around pretty girls, just the same as Lucas and Dustin are teased when they both first develop crushes on Max, and even then, even then, it always comes as a package deal where they make fun of Steve's girl problems at the same time.
Stranger Things is an emphatically pro-gay show. It may not be the core point of the show the way it is in, say, Our Flag Means Death, but there is nothing less than respect for its queer characters. Its queer characters are always taken completely seriously. No one is making fun of us. They never have. That's why I have serious doubts that this is queerbaiting. It would come completely out of left field for the bullying to start in Stranger Things' final season.
So it's not at all likely to be queerbaiting because queerness is taken completely seriously. The creators have talked about Will's queerness, at least, so it's not an accident. And queer-coding would be silly to expect from this show when it's already on its final season. Like, what is Netflix gonna do? Cancel it? Not to mention all the explicit queerness that's in there already. And no one's gonna "What about the children?" a show that's had sex scenes in it since the first season.
There's no fakeout here. It's gonna happen. Breathe.
#byler#Part 2 I fucking guess.#Wasn't planning on making a Part 2 but here we are.#I seriously just want you guys to feel safe.#I'm not naive. I do not say any of this shit lightly.#But I've been around the block long enough to know what queerbaiting looks like and this ain't it. Promise.#Will's already been confirmed as in love with Mike for fuck's sake. You don't think the other half of the equation's gonna follow through?#There has only ever been one other situation where I've gone 'Okay this is going in gay places' with no doubt whatsoever without being told#And that was with Daja in Tamora Pierce's 'Will of the Empress' when I read it at like sixteen or whatever#and she wound up having whole-ass fuckin' gay sex.#I was right then and I'm right now. I swear.
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they shouldve done a community laser tag episode
#troy and abed decked out in their inspector + reggie looks????? troy jumping in front of abed so he doesnt get lasered??????????#n then troys like “abed... i love you” and abeds like “i know” except this time he has to go on without troy#epidemiology parallels bcs i love these mfs#jeff n britta having sex in the dark and getting the study group fucking banned from laser tag#shirley going feral like THIS IS FOR JESUS!!!!!!!! killign and murdering everyone#ANNIE BEING SO COOL AND AWESOME WITH HER GUN N HER LITTLE OUTFIT THAT MAKES ME HAVE A 234789324th GAY AWAKENING#community#community nbc#troy barnes#abed nadir#trobed#troy and abed#six seasons and a movie#jeff winger#britta perry#shirley bennett#annie edison#chang being !!!!?!??!?!?!! WTF !!!!!!?@!??!??!?!?@#Q#@U$*#$ dpulling the most insane shit as usual
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It’s the way you can tell most of the lesbian community are full of bi-hets just by how enraged they are by a lesbian saying she’s proud to have never kissed, dated or had sex with a man. Why are you offended by homosexuality? Shouldn’t you be happy for her? Hm..
Also I hate when the fauxbians who have never had sex with a man are like “I just never happened to have sex with a men because no man wanted me lolll I’m a gold star but ashamed to call myself one :((.” Like as very femme young woman who never has done anything even slightly romantic with a men but has had boys ask me to be their girlfriend and even male friends try to ask me for intimacy since a very young age, and has had to put her foot down and firmly say no ever single time, its so weird that they are deliberately erasing gold star’s life experiences to just being “ugly”. If you would have then you are a bisexual. Full stop.
#God we are so fucked#And the worst part about this is it isn’t even new like even older western butch lesbian are fake homosexuals who are just ugly bisexuals#And don’t fit into the male gaze#That’s why they cant imagine femme and conventially attractive women like me being gold star#To them gold star is ‘never got fucked by a man’ not never wanted to have any romance or intimacy with a man#Because if a man asked them out they would have said yes because they are bi#they can’t even began to imagine true female homosexuality that’s why they speak over us gold stars#This is why they either love wearing strap ons or getting strapped too(pillow princess or stone) i blame the older bid-hets once again#Cause they can’t imagine any sex without a dick because to them that is the most ideal form of sex#I am a gold star willingly you idiot not by accident dick lover#They also truly can’t imagine never once wanting to be with a man#To them its just a missed oportunity#Sorry this is so long but yea#Like I’m sorry but older lesbians who aren’t willingly gold star don’t represent me or stand for me#They don’t speak up for me or even want me in their spaces and i sure as hell don’t want them in mine
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oh yeah also!!! snippet of the timkon vday fic i will hopefully finish like over the weekend or something!!! (this snippet is sfw but the fic itself will not be...)
Tim’s fingers linger, brushing the back of his neck as he fastens the choker. “There,” he murmurs, and seals the clasp with a kiss to Kon’s nape.
The moment the projector comes into contact with his skin, Kon goes still.
It’s—
It’s weird.
It’s not a wholly pleasant feeling, if he’s entirely honest. The world shrinks down dizzyingly fast, from the wide, expansive spread of everything down to just this room. He can’t hear the cars outside or the dancers in the club he and Tim were at earlier, or Ma snoring back in Kansas, or the sea lapping at the shore halfway around the world.
The strength drains out of his body. It leaves him feeling… heavy. He’s grounded where he sits, and he can feel that he can’t simply fly away now. Of course, he still has his TTK, his aura sprawling through the apartment, but it’s not the same.
Kon lets out a slow breath. Okay. Okay. He’s been depowered a few times before. It’s just… been a while, that’s all.
“You okay?” Tim’s arms slip around his waist, his hands sliding up Kon’s ribs to his chest. He presses Kon backwards, encouraging him to lean into him.
Kon takes that suggestion, slumping back into Tim’s embrace. Tim’s arms are steadfast around him as he drops his head back against Tim’s shoulder. He can feel Tim’s heart beating against his back.
“Yeah.” Kon swallows hard. He can feel the cool metal of the projector against his throat, rapidly warming from his body. It feels…
He feels… vulnerable.
“You sure?” Tim brushes a gentle kiss to his jaw, lingering. “We don’t have to do this if it’s too much, or feels bad, or anything. I want you to enjoy yourself, so if you’re not—”
“I’m sure, Rob,” Kon interrupts.
He takes another breath and lets it out slowly. It’s kinda weird to have to breathe so often. He usually does, don’t get him wrong—he had to breathe at regular human rates before all his powers came in, so the muscle memory is there—but actually feeling the burn in his chest if he doesn’t breathe in fast enough is weird.
“I’m sure.” He shifts in Tim’s arms, rolling over a little so he can look up at Tim properly. “Just, like, gimme a minute to get used to it.”
Tim studies his face for a moment. Whatever he finds there satisfies him, because he just nods, then kisses Kon’s nose, brow, and forehead. “Take all the time you need.”
“Mm.”
Kon lays his cheek against Tim’s shoulder and tucks his face into his neck. He likes feeling the warmth of Tim’s skin against his own, the quiet ba-dum, ba-dum of his heart beating in his chest. Tim used some of his rarely-touched fancy cologne for tonight’s date; Kon can still smell it on his collar.
Tim’s arms curve about his shoulders, one of his callused hands stroking slowly up and down Kon’s upper arm. He caresses the curve of Kon’s bicep and strokes his thumb against the inside of Kon’s elbow before he rubs his palm back up his arm to the shoulder, slow and hypnotic, over and over.
Kon shivers.
He feels vulnerable and soft, cut off from hearing everything he’s used to. He’s not used to it. But it’s not a bad feeling, not when he’s lying on Tim’s chest, completely secure in Tim’s arms. It’s… different, yes, but not bad.
In fact, it’s a little exciting. He already knows Tim would never ever dream of hurting him—duh, Tim would cry and have, like, seven existential crises on the spot if he had to—and being vulnerable with Tim around means he’s, like…
Protected.
Kon takes another breath. Lets it out slowly. He’s not used to feeling protected. To looking to someone else for safety. It’s kind of… awe-inspiring? Incredible? Breathtaking?
Tim’s thumb swipes gently over his shoulder again. He’s languid and relaxed, his voice low and warm in a way that ignites sparks in Kon’s blood. “What’s on your mind, baby?”
Kon breathes in again. Tim’s cologne smells of citrus and spice.
He tips his head up, glances up at Tim through his eyelashes. Tim looks down at him, his expression tender but intense.
“Rob,” Kon says, keeping his gaze fixed on Tim’s face. He smiles, a little shy, but excited. This is such a new feeling. “You’re gonna… you’ll take real good care of me, right?���
Color blossoms across Tim’s cheeks. His lips part slightly, his eyes wide; his flush runs all the way down his neck. Even his ears turn red. “I—”
Kon giggles, looping his arms around Tim’s neck. It’s nice to know he’s not the only one a little bit out of his depth here, reveling in the novelty of… of all of this. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Tim manages after a second, a little breathless. “Yeah, of course.”
#rimi writes#its supposed to be hot but so far its just mushy sdkfhjkds#<- guy who cant write a sex scene without making it sappy apparently#theyre in love . what can i say.#timkon#tim#kon
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When I say I love weird queers I'm especially talking about Aro or Ace people with ideal lives you can't relate to 💖
#shoutout to the grumpy aro who dont like people#shoutout to the ace who skip through sex scenes#shoutout to aro who date a lot! shoutout to aro who are a little mean and cold!#shoutout to the ace who love to feel sexy without ever wanting sex with someone!#love yall a lot#we all need to make more place to celebrate aro and ace people#we are not missing out#our lives are fulfilling and beautiful
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A fic that looks like it’s about to be a Wangxian kid fic because WWX is seriously considering adopting A-Yuan because all of A-Yuan’s living relatives are too old or too sick to take care of him except for Wen Qing, who is an ER doctor and just simply does not have the time to do that and be a single parent of a little kid, so maybe, because A-Yuan loves you so much, Wei Ying, you could adopt him, and then what’s left of his birth family could still stay in his life…
But HERE COMES JIANG WANYIN WITH A STEEL CHAIR and a “We could get fake married and I could help you take care of A-Yuan, it’s not fair that you should have to give up your nephew just because this country has so few accommodations for single parents, I’m really good with kids (probably) I’ve always wanted to be a parent (kinda) and it’ll be a totally 100% platonic marriage because I’m DEFINITELY not secretly in love with you” and then the rest of the fic is chengqing fake relationship AU
#let us be honest it would take WQ an astonishingly brief amount of time to be like ‘hey after the kid falls asleep do you want to#have sex. as platonic friends’#I’m thinking less than a week before that happens and I’m being generous#as she now shares a bedroom AND BED with the hottest man she’s ever met and like#she’s trying very hard to not fuck this up by falling in love with him so. sex? sex will keep her from falling in love with him#she is pretty sure of this!!#meanwhile Jiang Cheng has maybe never in his life had sex with someone without falling in love with them AND he’s ALREADY in love with WQ#but what the fuck is he going to do—say NO???#say NO when the gorgeous woman he’s in love with and technically married to propositions him?#just say NO and continue to share a bed with her in awkward silence????#listen. Jiang Cheng is a very principled man but he has his motherfucking limits
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